Family Relationships

FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS
NURTURE RELATIONSHIP
Connect with your family

One of the biggest challenges for families to stay connected is
the busy pace of life. But Blue Zones research states that the
healthiest, longest-living people in the world all have something
in common: they put their families first. Family support can
provide comfort, support, and even influence better health
outcomes while you are sick. Relationships and family author
Mimi Doe recommends connecting with family by letting little
grievances go, spending time together, and expressing love and
compassion to one another.
Practice gratitude
Gratitude is one of the most accessible positive
emotions, and its effects can strengthen friendships and
intimate relationships. One 2010 study found that
expressing gratitude toward a partner can strengthen the
relationship, and this positive boost is felt by both
parties—the one who expresses gratitude and the one
who receives it. Remembering to say “thank you” when a
friend listens or your spouse brings you a cup of coffee
can set off an upward spiral of trust, closeness, and
affection.
Learn to forgive
It’s normal for disagreements or betrayal to arise in relationships, but your
choice about how to handle the hurt can have a powerful effect on the
healing process. Choosing to forgive can bring about a variety of benefits,
both physical and emotional. Fred Luskin, head of the Stanford
Forgiveness Project, says it’s easier to let go of the anger or hurt feelings
associated with a circumstance if you remind yourself that much of your
distress is really coming from the thoughts and feelings you are having
right now while remembering the event—not the event itself. Don’t be
afraid to clearly articulate why you are upset, but once the other party has
listened, be willing to lay down your anger and move on.
Be compassionate
Compassion is the willingness to be open to yourself and others,
even in painful times, with a gentle, nonjudgmental attitude. When
you feel compassionate toward another person—whether a
romantic partner, friend, relative, or colleague—you open the gates
for better communication and a stronger bond. This doesn’t mean
taking on the suffering of others, or absorbing their emotions.
Rather, compassion is the practice of recognizing when someone
else is unhappy or whose needs aren’t being met and feeling
motivated to help them. We are an imitative species: when
compassion is shown to us, we return it.
Accept others
It is also important to be accepting of the other person
in the relationship. Obviously, this does not apply in
situations of abuse or unhealthy control, where you
need foremost to protect yourself. But otherwise, try to
understand where the person is coming from rather
than judge them. As you do for yourself, have a realistic
acceptance of the other's strengths and weaknesses and
remember that change occurs over time.
Create rituals together

With busy schedules and the presence of online social media that
offer the façade of real contact, it’s very easy to drift from friends.
In order to nurture the closeness and support of friendships, you
have to make an effort to connect. Gallup researcher Tom Rath has
found that people who deliberately make time for gatherings or
trips enjoy stronger relationships and more positive energy. An
easy way to do this is to create a standing ritual that you can share
and that doesn’t create more stress—talking on the telephone on
Fridays, for example, or sharing a walk during lunch breaks, are
ways to keep in contact with the ones you care about the most.
Spend the right amount of time together

Gallup researchers Jim Harter and Raksha Arora found
that people who spend 6- 7 hours per day socializing
(which could mean hanging out with friends, sharing
meals with family, or even emailing a colleague) tend
to be the happiest. In contrast, those who have zero
interactions (or an exhausting overload of social time)
feel more stressed.
TEN RULES FOR FINDING LOVE AND CREATING
LONG-LASTING, AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIPS
 1. YOU MUST LOVE YOURSELF FIRST Your relationship with yourself is the
central template from which all others are formed. Loving yourself is a
prerequisite to creating a successful and authentic union with another.
 2. PARTNERING IS A CHOICE The choice to be in a relationship is up to you.
You have the ability to attract your beloved and cause the relationship you
desire to happen.
 3. CREATING LOVE IS A PROCESS Moving from “I” to “we” requires a shift in
perspective and energy. Being an authentic couple is an evolution.
 4. RELATIONSHIPS PROVIDE OPPORTUNITIES TO GROW Your relationship
will serve as an unofficial “lifeshop” in which you will learn about yourself and
how you can grow on your personal path.
TEN RULES FOR FINDING LOVE AND CREATING
LONG-LASTING, AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIPS
 5. COMMUNICATION IS ESSENTIAL The open exchange of thoughts and feelings is the lifeblood of
your relationship.
 6. NEGOTIATION WILL BE REQUIRED There will be times when you and your partner must work
through impasses. If you do this consciously and with respect, you will learn to create win-win
outcomes.
 7. YOUR RELATIONSHIP WILL BE CHALLENGED BY CHANGE Life will present turns in the road. How
you maneuver those twists and turns determines the success of your relationship.
 8. YOU MUST NURTURE THE RELATIONSHIP FOR IT TO THRIVE Treasure your beloved and your
relationship will flourish.
 9. RENEWAL IS THE KEY TO LONGEVITY Happily eever after means the ability to keep the
relationship fresh and vital.
 10. YOU WILL FORGET ALL THIS THE MOMENT YOU FALL IN LOVE You know all these rules
inherently. The challenge is to remember them when you fall under the enchanting spell of love.
IN A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP, BOTH
PARTNERS:
 Are treated with kindness and respect Are honest with each other
 Like to spend time together
 Take an interest in things that are important to each other
 Respect one another’s emotional, physical and sexual limits
 Can speak honestly about their feelings
 Love should never hurt
 Stop Violence
IN A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP, BOTH
PARTNERS:
 Are treated with kindness and respect Are honest with each other
 Like to spend time together
 Take an interest in things that are important to each other
 Respect one another’s emotional, physical and sexual limits
 Can speak honestly about their feelings
 Love should never hurt
 Stop Violence
HOW TO COMMUNICATE
 TALKING TO YOUR PARENTS
You probably think that talking to your parents about sex is impossible. You're not
alone; 83 percent of kids your age are afraid to ask their parents about sex. Yet 51
percent of teens actually do. So... kids are not only talking to their parents about sex,
they're also benefiting from conversations they were afraid to have in the first place!
Lucky them, right? The truth is that most parents want to help their kids make smart
decisions about sex. They know it's vital for teens to have accurate information and
sound advice to aid the decision-making process.
HOW TO AVOID PEER OR DATE
PRESSURE
 If you're worried about being pressured or you are currently experiencing it, know that you are
not alone and there is something you can do about it.
 Hang out with friends who also believe that it's OK to not be ready for sex yet.
 Go out with a group of friends rather than only your date.
 Introduce your friends to your parents.
 Invite your friends to your home.
 Stick up for your friends if they are being pressured to have sex.
 Think of what you would say in advance in case someone tries to pressure you.
 Always carry money for a telephone call or cab in case you feel uncomfortable.
 Be ready to call your mom, dad or a friend to pick you up if you need to leave a date.
 Never feel obligated to "pay someone back" with sex in return for a date or gift.
 Say "no" and mean "no" if that's how you feel.
ACTIVITY: LETTER FROM MOM
Read the letter from mom found in the reader. After reading the letter, write your
answer to the following questions on your journal:
Processing Questions:
What kind of relationship does the letter describe?
2. Who are involved in the relationship? Describe each character.
3. What roles does each character play in the relationship?
4. Are you satisfied with this type of relationship? Explain your answer.
5. Do you agree that this type of relationship can be improved? Explain your
answer.
6. In what ways can the characters show they are responsible to maintain a good
relationship?

Family Relationships

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FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS

Connect with your family

Create rituals together

Spend the right amount of time together

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