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He opened his eyes and looked at the time. It was 6:59 a.m. When the digital clock,
that blinked red, turned to 7, it made a beeping alarm. Junmin turned off the alarm
and covered his eyes with his hand. 2 minutes ago, he was in the past. It was when he
was the most passionate and the most pure. The dream didn’t feel like a dream and
left a long trail as though it happened just yesterday. Junmin sighed and probed the
traces of the dream that still remained within him.

He hadn’t had a dream in a long time. He was in Daehak-ro and he met Jung Haejoo
there. They shared love, promised success, and whispered to each other about the
future, but then, everything was taken away by a speeding car. The dream ended
there. When he heard the news of her accident through a call, he was consumed by
darkness, and that was when he opened his eyes.

He wiped the back of his neck with his hand. It was very damp. He could still hear
the nurse’s voice ringing in his ears: I’m calling you after looking at her calling
history. Miss Jung Haejoo was caught up in a traffic accident.

Junmin went to the living room. The dogs with good ears had gathered by his feet
already. He subconsciously took out dog food from the cabinet. When he was pouring
the dog food out, he ended up laughing. He never knew that the dogs would be
prioritized over quenching his own thirst.

After giving them some food, he drank some water. The lingering sensation of the
dream just didn’t go away. His body felt like it was still in the past, right at the point
when he got the call that she had been in a traffic accident.

He pressed his fingers on the side of his forehead. He prayed that the sharp pain
would drag his consciousness out of the sea of his dream, but it was to no avail. The
lingering sensation was that dense. He picked up the puppy by his feet and put her
on his lap. After sniffing, she curled up as though she found her resting spot and
started breathing regularly. Junmin stroked the puppy from head to tail. The soft and
smooth sensation from his hand was reminiscent of when he touched Haejoo’s arm.
Once again, he realized that she was too young to have died.
Why did it have to be Haejoo of all people? Junmin thought of the old question that
was by his side for a long time. It would’ve been great if he died in her stead. How
great would it be if he, who chased a vain dream with half-dead eyes, died instead of
the person shining brilliantly with limitless potential and talent?

The puppy that had been sleeping soundly suddenly raised her head before biting
his finger with her still growing teeth. Junmin put the puppy down on the ground.
The docile puppy hid behind the dining table leg as though she was wary. Junmin got
up and looked at the mirror he put in the living room. A skinny man in his fifties with
vicious eyes. He looked like he was about to kill someone.

He sighed before sitting down on the sofa. Was it the self-disgust perking its head
again after calming down a little thanks to all the psychotherapy? He remembered
that his friend told him to not push himself and get some rest. If he ended up going
to the psychiatrist again, she would definitely become angry. Though, she would still
give him consultation.

Junmin slowly turned around to look around his house. This was everything he
managed to achieve after her death. The company, this house, the people. Things that
he would never have been able to dream of before she died, were achieved way too
easily after she died.

Thinking back, it was a series of surprises. Every single new actor that he came
across rose rapidly. It wasn’t just once or twice. Whenever he nurtured someone,
that person would become the icon of the year which made him tons of money. He
gained reputation, and that reputation called about even more people. JA Production
was the crystallization of everything he achieved until now.

Junmin looked at the sun rising. To him, she was that sun. The one woman who
defeated the darkness and shined a ray of light on him. Without Jung Haejoo, Lee
Junmin was a pathetic man who would never become successful or strive towards a
future. Yet ironically, everything went well after her death.

Just then, he suddenly had the thought that everything around him felt unfamiliar. He
suddenly questioned why he was able to become so successful. Right now, he could
make a judgment on individual success based on his experiences and the data he had
gathered, but this should have been impossible for the Lee Junmin in his 30s. Yet
strangely, all the actors he touched back then became hugely successful.
He felt like he found a puzzle piece that was off by a little as he was looking at it
proudly after having finished it. It was a pretty big piece as well.

Junmin felt agitated and went to his study. He took out one of the plastic files on his
shelf. Inside was a diary that he had been writing for a long time. Among the diaries
sorted in chronological order, he took out the diary he wrote in the year she died.
The diary was filled with excitement and joy until it was suddenly cut off. That was
when he heard about the accident. He started writing again two months after her
funeral.

His handwriting was terrible as though he was being chased by something while
writing it. The moment he looked at the writing, he could feel the emotions he had
back then. It was an obsession that was close to lunacy. His feelings of love towards
her had mutated into raising a star that was just like her. Junmin sighed. Back then,
he dreamed of committing suicide. He also attempted to do it, but when that moment
came, he wasn’t able to do anything. He was a coward. That was why - because he
couldn’t follow her into the afterlife - he became obsessed with things that were
similar to her in order to prolong his life. He couldn’t understand how he acted back
then, but now he did after reading the diary. He sympathized with his past self.

After that, the diary was filled with stories of success. The details weren’t written. I
met someone in the street. I saw potential so I helped him debut.

More than a dozen actors were written that way. There was nothing about what he
saw in them that he saw as ‘potential’. Junmin felt a sense of unfamiliarity and
started focusing. He went back to the past, back when he was hung up on casting
people.

“Why did I cast them?”

It was his own doing, but it made him wonder. His memories weren’t complete
either. After combining his fragmented memories, the conclusion he came to was
something absurd. Junmin took out another file on the shelf. It was the file that
contained the photos and profiles of the people he cast during the beginning stages
of setting up JA Production.

Some of the photos had lost color, but most of them had been laminated and were
easy to recognize. Junmin had a look at the appearances of the actors he had cast and
nurtured, year by year. The first actor he made debut was Kim Seungjin. Although he
lived in the US right now, he was a big star just a decade ago.

“I picked such a man?”

Junmin paled as he picked up the photo. The man looked really shabby. He wasn’t
someone who had a career related to acting either. His profile said ‘worker at a
construction site’. He probed his memories. Junmin approached him, who was
working with cement at a construction site, and told him that he had to become an
actor. Junmin felt freaky. Just what did he base his decision on, that made him
approach that man and even persuaded him to debut as an actor? He even made the
promise that he would pay the man 10 million won if he failed. It seemed like
winning money on a slot machine at a casino would be easier than that.

He went to the next one. This time, it was a woman. She received good reviews in
dramas thanks to her good acting, and she was called the queen in the advertising
industry who took all the commercials that required a high-class, luxurious image.
When he had a look at her profile, Junmin groaned because of the massive headache
he had. The woman couldn’t be called elegant in any sense of the word when he
looked at her plump figure. Back then, she weighed 93kg. She worked at a hospital
with reversed night and day, which broke her physical balance. She definitely wasn’t
an item that would become an actress. The current him would have turned her away,
telling her to come again after losing some weight. Actresses couldn’t make the shoot
if they had ramyun the night before. The woman in the photo had an appearance that
clearly didn’t suit an actress.

Yet in the past, he persistently tried to persuade her and started managing her
health. He paid her 3 times her monthly salary and had her take diet and acting
lessons, and the result of that was the birth of an actress who stole the hearts of
many men.

The other actors were similar. In many cases, he picked actors who already had a
similar career, but there were a considerable number of cases where he didn’t. What
surprised him was that he didn’t value appearance when he did his casting, unlike
what others would do when they go street casting. He gathered people of all sorts of
colors and those that looked like they didn’t have a sliver of becoming successful and
dramatically made them debut. That was a gamble like no other. Was he possessed
by a spirit in the past or something?

Junmin then opened the file that contained his interviews. The title that said ‘The
Maestro of Finding New Talent’ caught his eyes. Junmin quickly skimmed through
the interview. Halfway through the interview that talked about his success, the thing
he wanted to read finally came up.

-You’re known for casting actors without looking at the manifestation of their talent,
much less an audition. Do you have a special method? Or is it just your nature to
enjoy adventure?

His answer to that question was quite simple. He could see it. He explained that line
over the course of several lines, but the point was that he could ‘just see’ it. What he
saw, and what kind of standards he had was asked after that, but his past self
finished that interview with vague answers.

Junmin felt like he was going into a daze. For the past 17 years, he came all the way
here without looking back after Haejoo died. In truth, he didn’t have the courage to
look back at the past either. After all, that meant looking back at Haejoo’s death.
Amidst the wealth that had been piling up as well as the human resources he had, he
thought that his success was something that his own skills had brought him, but his
past self was definitely not someone who was capable of achieving something like
this.

The facts, recorded alongside this interview, were telling him. He achieved success
through a very shocking method that was no different from being crude. How was
that even possible?

Junmin returned to the living room. He spent 30 minutes, then another 30 minutes
trying to bring back the memories, but he couldn’t remember the important bits. It
was clear that he met those actors, nurtured them, and made them successful, but
the answer to the most important question, ‘why’ he chose those people, did not
come to mind.

It was rather weird. He thought about the interview again. He could even remember
the face of the interviewer back then, but he couldn’t remember why he answered
that ‘he could see’. It was like someone pulled his memories out from the roots.

“How did I even become successful?”

The doubt that sprung up from his dream did not get solved easily.

***
After making Bada wash the dishes, Maru returned to his room. He sat on his chair,
turned on the power to the computer, and waited for a little before he saw his
desktop screen with many icons on it. He opened an internet browser and went to
his blog. Recently, he hadn’t been managing it, so it had become a ghost blog, but he
was quite diligent at writing them when he was in his 1st year. Among them, the
thing he had never failed to write every day was his diary. He clicked on the diary
page. He made public the things he didn’t care whether other people saw them or
not, but the majority of them had been privated so that only he could see them.

Maru scrolled up to the first diary entry that he wrote after creating the blog.
Starting with the word ‘unbelievable’, the diary talked about what kind of mindset he
was going to have in the future.

He looked at the next one. He saw a wall of text as though it was a report on his day
job. He met someone, did something, and was preparing something. His past self was
quite diligent when it came to writing.

Maru scratched his eyebrows. He felt weird after all. His personality was never so
meticulous. Rather than planning something out, he preferred solving the problems
when they came. The fact that he worked as a road manager without continuing to
try and join the employment lines, and the fact that he switched jobs as soon as he
was accepted to a mid-sized company, was all because he had the belief that things
would go well one way or the other.

However, two years ago, his past self that just came back to life looked like he was a
little too worried about the future to the point of obsession. Just like someone who
had no second chances.

“I was indeed the one who wrote it, and I even have memories of it, but it feels so
strange.”

Was it because he had just come back to life?

Maru narrowed his eyes and kept reading the diaries.

Can his current self be called the same as his past self? Maru thought that the answer
to that question was no. He believed that the accumulated experience would change
the nature and tendencies of a person. His current self should be different from his
past self of a few days ago, from his past self of a few months ago, and from his past
self of a few years ago. However, just like a randomly changing graph had a set
standard, he also thought that he had some things that did not change within him;
one of them being his challenging mindset. Taking a step forward without fear even
when the environment or the circumstances change should be one of the traits that
represented Han Maru.

Maru put down the mouse for now. On his monitor was an old diary entry. What was
he thinking back then as the person who wrote it? Maru wanted to ask his past self
that.

It felt way too different. When he had a look at the diary he wrote in the past, he felt
as though it was another person who wrote it. He had the memories of writing such
a diary, but he could not remember what kind of feelings he had that made him write
something like that back then.

“I tried to focus on studying, but I reached the limits of my concentration too soon. I
don’t think I can expect the great concentration I get when I look at scripts during
studying. I must look for another way for the sake of a stable life.”

Maru read the sentence on the screen out loud. It was from one of the entries he
wrote during his first year. When he grabbed a script, all of his neurons awakened
and did their work, but when it came to school work, they became lazy ponies and
didn’t do any work. While it was a pity, there was no need to be so disappointed. It
meant that he had talent in acting after all. He had a talent that not many people had,
so he should have been happy, yet his past self wrote the diary with disappointment.

He picked out some words that the diary entries had in common and wrote them
down on a piece of paper. Stability, future, probability, success, profits. These five
words were distributed everywhere as though they were the crux of the issue in his
diary entries.
“Stability, future, probability, success, profits.”

Maru read those words out loud. They were definitely important elements in life.
However, he was only in his first year of high school back then. He also had the
wisdom of his previous life to a certain extent. There was no need for him to be so
hurried. In fact, that was when he should accept many different forms of experiences
in life, ones that he could not experience in the life before this, and broaden his
horizons.

So what if he wasted some time because he took the wrong path? So what if he failed
and fell down for a bit? He was young and the future was limitless. Rather than going
through the same life as the previous one and aiming for a white-collar job, wouldn’t
it be better to pioneer the unknown and enjoy his second life as someone who got
another chance? The way his past self was looking for a ray of hope at the edge of a
cliff felt not only unfamiliar but also like it was to the point of uninterpretable.

“I looked into getting a freight truck driver’s license. I looked into the job transfer
rate of the sister company to our school. I looked into the wages at the company that
my father works at.”

Along with those five words, the other information that showed up quite often was
about employment. He could still remember right now. He looked into all sorts of
jobs. He especially looked into those that had a future for him even if he was
employed upon graduation without going to college.

Maru chuckled in vain. Why was his past self so hung up on things like this? Every
single action sounded like he was going to die the day after he didn’t do so. It was as
though he had a wife and kid to feed.

Things that didn’t match his own values and ideals continued to occur. As he looked
at the remaining entries in the diary and thought about what happened back then, he
felt an even bigger sense of disparity. He was unfamiliar with this guy who wrote
them.

Maru went to the kitchen and got a cup of cold water before coming back to his
room. He felt like all the blood in his body was rushing to his brain. He felt so hot and
needed something to cool him down. When he drank some cold water, he calmed
down a little. He stared at the monitor for a while before picking up a note and going
to sit on the bed.
“Is the drastic difference in nature a result of the memories after all?”

The woman in a white suit said that his memories would eventually become faint. As
though to prove that, the memories of his previous life had become faint to the point
that he had almost forgotten everything. He could only remember the big events, and
he could no longer remember what kind of events occurred between them nor the
people he met.

“But it shouldn’t change the fact that I died at twenty-nine.”

His last memories were pretty clear. While he was working as a road manager, he got
employed by a mid-sized company, and not long after admission, he died. The reason
for his death wasn’t clear. From how he saw the woman in a suit when he woke up, it
was likely that it was a sudden death. Perhaps all those drives that were late at night
during his manager days ruined his body.

“Then I met that woman and got a new life.”

When he opened his eyes after that vain death, he met that woman in a white suit.
He walked down a beach with her and talked to her under a white parasol. He heard
about the circumstances behind how he got another chance at life. Apparently, an
elderly lady had yielded that opportunity to him. He didn’t know why that lady
yielded that to him, but for some weird reason, the name remained in his mind. Yoo
Bokja. It was a rather affectionate name for some reason.

Thus, he started anew and wrote this diary that he was seeing on the monitor. Why
did he look at the future with such a narrow vision like that? There should have been
many other important things in life, not just stability and success.

He realized the disparity between his current actions and past actions when he
thought about what he did in his 1st year. It was when he became the devil’s
advocate for the unity of the acting club. Back then, he smoothly did the things that
he would find unacceptable to do right now. While he understood what kind of
intentions he had when he made enemies out of everyone around, he couldn’t
remember the reason why such thoughts came to mind in the first place. He could
have just persuaded them to understand each other, yet under the pretense of
‘efficiency’, he just solved it in a violent manner. It was good that things ended well.
Had it not gone well, he might have left the acting club just like that. Meaning, he
might not have met Junmin in the first place. His past self thought nothing of the
important crossroad in his life. He could get a glimpse of what he felt back then when
he read the diary. Those lines made it seem like the acting club, the people around
him, and basically everything didn’t matter that much. It looked as though it didn’t
matter if club activities didn’t go well since it wouldn’t make him any money.

“That was me, huh.”

There was physical evidence here, so he couldn’t deny that. He had the memories of
it as well. It was just his emotions back then that were missing. It felt like an art
gallery had popped up between his current self and his past self. Inside that gallery,
the photos of the old times were hung up on the walls, allowing him to look at the
past, but he could not understand the emotions and intentions that each of those
photos had.

Were memories all like this? Would the passage of time separate the emotions from
the incident itself and disappear, leaving behind only the events that could be
interpreted in multiple ways? When he discussed transcendental cognition with
writer Lee Hanmi a little while ago, he said that there were memories that
transcended the physical body. Yet, when he looked at how he acted just two years
ago, it made him wonder if he was the same person.

Were memories that shallow? Or was there something beyond his cognitive abilities
happening?

Maru thought about all the events that happened from his previous life until now.
There were no contradictory things anywhere. While there were some questionable
decisions and actions that he took, his actions for the past year were all within his
realm of understanding. The problem was 2 years ago, when he just came back to
life, all the way until he entered his 2nd year.

He looked at the words he wrote on his note. He found himself avoiding challenges,
distancing himself from adventure, and despising the unknown. A rather headstrong
man was there.

At the same time, that man looked like he was desperately trying to protect
something.

“Just what was it?”

Maru looked at his note before sighing. Right now, there was nothing he could find
out. He only felt that there was something that he desired in the past. He didn’t know
it, he felt it. It was a signal that he couldn’t even tell if it was true or just a mistake.

If he could record his current state in detail, it would be good material to reflect on in
the future, but god did not allow that. Maru grabbed his pen and tried to write down
what happened in his previous life, but just as he had expected, his body didn’t listen
to him as though his hands were broken. This was probably why the records in his
diary were fragmented and abstract.

God prevented him from reflecting on his life. Despite the fact that personal history
had an insignificant influence on society or the greater world, god did not allow for
recording. What could be the reason for that? His memories will remain behind
anyway. Was there an absolutely necessary reason for not allowing him to write
down things that were meaningless and unbelievable in the eyes of others? Or was it
to simply prevent him from mentioning the past?

“So there’s no way of finding out, even if the memories of my previous life and my
current life, have changed?”

The words he subconsciously uttered had considerable weight. He felt a chill run
down his spine, and his eyes opened wide. If he had that as the hypothesis, he would
have to suspect every single thing. That would be beyond just exhausting, it would be
painful and utterly horrific. His memories changing unconsciously meant that he was
becoming something completely different from before.

At that moment, Maru remembered the change in his emotions. He was definitely
conscious of the fact that he had become more proactively amicable to the people
around him.

“Contradiction.”

He was originally very proactive and challenging. The way he focused on harmony
with the people around him showed no difference. So then, why was he so hung up
on the fact that his personality changed when it happened? That meant that he was a
cold, uncooperative, safety-seeking man before his personality changed.

He kept discovering the contradictions in his thoughts.

***
“What a busy life.”

“You tell me,” Maru said as he flipped over the script for New Semester.

Byungchan, who was driving, told him that there were drinks at the back.

“But hyung, are you okay with time? You don’t need to give me a ride.”

“It’s fine, I have time now. I’m a team leader not only in duties but in position too.”

“Ah, right. Congratulations on your promotion.”

“Sounds way too late at this point, but thanks anyway.”

Maru grabbed the business card that Byungchan gave him. Externally, he acted as a
team leader from a while ago but had a really weird position within the company,
and now it looked like he had found his position.

“For it though, I had to quit my dream to become an actor.”

“Don’t. You can always try later.”

“No, I’ve given up now. The president connected me to an audition, telling me to

check myself objectively, and I failed that miserably. That’s when I felt that the office
suits me better. After I gave up, the president properly supported me as well. It’s a
good thing.”

“If you say so. Then since you started, you should aim to be the president of a super
agency.”

“That’s the plan. Anyway, the company got a new department to handle the
management of youths, and I’m in charge of it. Before, I was the only one in it, but
there’s three of us now.”

“So you got two subordinates?”

Byungchan laughed in embarrassment.

“That’s why I’m going to be focusing on you and Sooil only. Thus, you’re going to call
me a lot in the future.”
“That’s better for me. But when are you going to treat me since you got a
promotion?”

“I was wondering why you weren’t mentioning that.”

Byungchan started slowing down. They had arrived at the middle school, the
location of the shooting set.

“I’ll go back to the company and come back when you finish.”

“I can go back home by myself.”

“I was ordered to safely bring you home by the president. This means that you’re on
the list of managed people. Doing two dramas at once is not easy. Moreover, there’s
school as well. You’ll only have an easier time saving up energy if you don’t spend
any on transportation. Once that mini-series drama starts, you’ll probably go to
school after shooting all the way till dawn pretty frequently.”

“Yes, okay then. See you later.”

“Alright. Good luck with the shoot.”

Maru got off and asked a question before he closed the door,

“Uhm, hyung, have I changed a lot from before?”

Byungchan stared at him for a while before replying with a smile,

“I guess you did become a bit cheerful.”

Maru nodded and closed the door.

“Apparently, Kang Giwoo is shooting a movie,” said Seong Dongho.

He enviously looked at Giwoo who was talking to the director.

“Good for him.”

“From what I hear, he has a pretty significant role. Maybe it’s the winner takes all in
acting too after all. I don’t think my acting skills are that bad.”

“You should keep trying. Maybe you’ll do well someday.”

“Why does that make me feel worse when you say that? It’s because you got a main
character role in a drama, huh? Is that why you’re doing this to me?”

“Dongho, you should have a good heart because only then will fortune come to you.”

Maru patted Dongho on the shoulders before walking over to the assistant director.

New Semester had been getting good ratings with the young romance between Kang
Giwoo and Ahn Yeseul, but it had now changed lanes and abandoned the sweetness.
Signs started showing up a few episodes ago, and it was going to get even more
serious from this episode onwards.

“Director!”

Producer Park Hoon, who was talking to the camera director, walked over. Kang
Giwoo and Ahn Yeseul were with him.

“As you know from the script, there will be a lot of detailed emotional expressions
from this episode onwards. I’m going to give you as much advice as I can, but things
will change depending on how much preparation you’ve done. Giwoo, Yeseul, you
two especially should try hard. Just from the script, it’s obvious that the writer has a
lot to ask from you,” said producer Park Hoon with a serious face before they started
the rehearsal.
What New Semester ultimately aimed to do wasn’t school romance; it was to reflect
the ecosystem known as a school in both the dramatic and ordinary aspects. Just as
writer Lee Hanmi said openly, New Semester had brought social problems as well as
the conflict between the student and the adults in order to escape that cheerful
image of youth dramas. This episode was going to be a concentration of all those
elements.

“We’re going to be zooming in on you a lot. Until now, we tried covering things up by
going with a full shot if your emotional acting was not up to par, but it’ll be hard to
do that anymore. If you don’t want to get caught up in acting skill issues, you will
have to do your best,” Park Hoon said in a cold manner.

The camera was installed in place. After looking at the boom mic above his head,
Maru took a deep breath. Today, he only had one scene, and it was a conversation
with Giwoo. He had a line that was more than three sentences after not having one
for a long time. Above all, he started his shoot first. He didn’t need to wait, and he
would get to leave after this shot.

“I heard Dongho say that you’re shooting a movie. Congratulations,” he said to Giwoo.

Although they couldn’t be said to have a good relationship, he wanted to

congratulate him as a coworker at least. Giwoo looked back at him with complex
eyes. His trademark smile was gone without a trace.

“I’m just congratulating you. I don’t have any other intentions.”

“What the hell happened to you?”

“I said nothing. Oh, yeah. You aren’t up to that childish stuff too, these days, are you?”

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

“Yeah, who am I to say anything? But let’s not bully people who have it hard. It’s all
karma you know? If you don’t want to get into big trouble later, you should do some
good deeds too.”

“If you’re trying to pick a fight with me, why don’t you do it after the shoot? Or are
you coming at me openly? Are you underestimating me that much? You just won
against me once. If you’re trying to use that to put me below you…”
Maru shook his hand. Giwoo became quiet.

“You went too far there. That’s a bad habit of yours.”

Giwoo, who was glaring at him, eventually just sighed. It seemed that he also thought
that he was acting too sensitively.

“Standby!”

That signaled work time. Maru tapped on his cheeks before calming down his
emotions. Giwoo also put away that arrogant smile of his and loosened his lips.

“Ready, cue!”

He looked at Giwoo while thinking about the line in his head.

“Are you worried about something lately? Why do you look so gloomy?”

Giwoo sighed very softly.

“Lee Chan, I should go to a factory and not to school if I want to earn money, right?”

“What do you mean by that so suddenly? You need money?”

“The thing is… nah, it’s nothing.”

Giwoo turned around and walked over to the end of the corridor. Maru looked at his
back without relaxing his emotions until the very end. When Giwoo turned at the
end of the corridor and left his vision, Park Hoon shouted cut.

“Good. We’ll flip around and do it again. Keep your emotions together.”

The lights, the camera, and the staff all moved. The camera was pointing at the side
of Giwoo’s face this time. Maru relaxed his shoulders. His face wouldn’t show up in
this cut. Only his body and his shoulder would appear like a background object.

“Maru, say the same line just like before. And Giwoo, we’re going to do a tight shot
now. Watch out for your expression. Also, I see something on Giwoo’s lip. Let’s
quickly take care of that before we start.”
The make-up artist touched up Giwoo’s face.

-I’m a little bored, so why don’t you let me?

The masked man spoke to Maru after staying quiet. He looked like he felt restless
whenever he was at the set. Maru told him to stay still before doing the same shoot
with the same line. The director shook his head and shouted cut. It seemed as though
he didn’t like Giwoo’s face from what he saw when he looked at the monitor.

“Giwoo. I said that’s the wrong expression. Giving up education, something that a
student naturally receives, and choosing to work over that is something very
frustrating and scary. Even though the Kang Giwoo in the drama might be someone
who’s just and cheerful, he can’t stay calm in the face of a gloomy situation like this.
You should know that from interpreting the script, right?”

“I’m sorry. I’ll do it properly this time.”

“I know that it’s difficult. That’s why I told you that I will be giving you a lot of advice
even though I haven’t been interfering with you that much until recently. You’re
going to have to watch out for the minor details. Even the most minute details will be
captured by the camera.”

Park Hoon looked at the monitor in displeasure. He looked like he was on edge as
well. Perhaps the change in the drama exhausted the director as well.

Maru nodded towards Suyeon who was smiling brightly behind the camera. He had
to greet her first because she would make her way over and talk to him if he didn’t
do so.

“Let’s do that again.”

The shoot resumed. As though to prove that he didn’t win the spot of the lead male
for nothing, Giwoo managed to get an okay from the director the second time.

They spent 3 hours shooting that short conversation in the corridor. Just like how
the director’s expectations had gotten higher, the waiting time for New Semester
would get even longer in the future.

The staff cleaned up the equipment and moved towards the classroom. Usually,
producer Park Hoon would rest for about five minutes before going over to the next
scene, but he seemed to have thought that they were short on time as he started
decreasing breaks. Quickly, quickly - the line frequently heard in South Korea could
be heard from all around.

“Han Maru, wait a bit.”

Park Hoon waved at him. Maru folded his script and approached him.

“How is it going with the other drama?”

“For now, there are no problems. I’m not sure if I’m doing well or not. While I’m
doing my best, I’ll have to see the results to be sure.”

“There you are, acting modestly again. You’re done shooting for the day right?”

“Yes.”

“Do you have anything else to do?”

“I need to go over to the other set later.”

“Really? I guess you’ve become a busy person now.”

“No, it just happened to overlap. Oh, was there something you wanted to talk about
with me?”

“Rather than something to say, there’s a line I want you to read.”

“A line?”

The assistant director approached them and said that the setup would be done in 10
minutes. Park Hoon replied to him before pointing at the end of the corridor as he
looked at Maru. After going there, Maru received a phone from Park Hoon.

“Can you say the stage directions and the line shown there? With your emotions too.”

Maru looked at the phone screen. He gave a cursory glance at the stage direction and
the lines before giving the phone back.

“What, you can’t?”

“Oh, I just memorized it all.”

“All of that?”

“You want me to read it out loud for you?”

Park Hoon smiled and shook his head.

“Can I ask why you are having me do this?”

“I’ll just say that it’s a simple audition. There’s no big meaning.”

“An audition?”

Just then, the assistant director called for the director from afar. Park Hoon raised his
hand instead of replying.

“I’m just trying to get a feel, so you don’t need to put in too much effort. You just have
to show me an image. Just show me the things that came to your mind first after
seeing that.”

Park Hoon seemed to be in a hurry. Maru decided to hold off on asking for
explanations until later and got his emotions together. The text on the phone was
pretty provocative.

- Chulsoo looked at his sister. For a long time, he stared at her as though he was
dissecting her with his eyes before he groaned.

“You… aren’t my sister, are you?”

The moment he dissolved his emotions into that line, Maru felt a sense of thirst. His
emotions naturally dissolved into the line. As this was practically improvisation, he
couldn’t really show any depth. He just stayed true to the text.

“Where’s my sister! Where is she! Tell me!”

A rather agitated voice popped out of his mouth. The raw, unrefined emotions shook
his body and the space around it. Maru shouted into the emptiness. Unease,
nervousness, and rage. Unrefined emotions surged and took away the unity in his
acting. It was something that left room to be desired, but it was also something he
couldn’t do anything about because of the conditions given to him. There was a limit
to acting without knowing what the situation the character was in, his emotions, or
the circumstances of the event.

Maru calmed his breath and his shaking lips. He finished off by dragging the
fragments of rage that touched his brain inward. He lost focus and when his vision
became full again, he saw people staring at him from the other side of the corridor.
Maru made an apologetic expression before bowing.

“Is that how it goes?”

“It suits you much better than I expected. I also like how it tingles my back. Good, it’s
good.”

Park Hoon smiled and told him to go. Maru returned to where Seong Dongho and Lee
Joomin were, still with questions.

“What was that?”

“I’m not sure either. The director just had me say some lines.”

“I thought you were fighting or something.”

“I don’t have the guts to do that.”

The assistant director called for the actors. Maru waved his hand at the two people
who started to move.

“Are you done?”

“Ah, yes.”

Suyeon talked to him just before he was about to walk down the stairs.

“Good for you, it ended early.”

“I have another shoot to attend to.”

“Really? I guess I can’t hold a busy person back for long. You can go now.”
“Good luck with work too, noonim.”

While waving, Suyeon spoke after she looked like she thought of something,

“I heard that the acting club got the grand prize.”

“Yes. Did you hear the news?”

“Unfortunately, I got the news from Miso-unni. You guys were once my students too.
How could you not give me a single call?”

“You’re a popular actress, so it’s kinda hard to call you.”

“It’s not that you didn’t care about me? That unni, you should’ve seen how proud she
acted in front of me. I wanted to give her a beating.”

“Then just come again next year and get the grand prize then. If you do that, it’ll be a
tie.”

“But you would have graduated by next year, won’t you? That’s no fun. Facing little
kids is only good as an experience. Anything more than that would be boring.”

“Don’t say that and make a visit later. Everyone will love it. A lot of them want to see
you again. The 1st year students will probably freak out though. It’s Kim Suyeon in
person after all.”

“What’s up with you? You’re saying something nice for once. Did you do something
wrong to me? Or maybe you want me to do something for you?”

“I’m not that bad of a kid. Anyway, noonim, good luck with work. Treat me to some
food later. What good is eating out of the same food pot? You should treat people
from time to time.”

Maru waved at Suyeon who looked at him with weird eyes. He left through the school
gates and took another few steps before looking back at the school.

“It does feel rather unfamiliar.”

He started becoming conscious of the fact that his attitude towards the people
around him had changed. Something different from before had become distinct. Was
he heading in a good direction? Or was he heading down a path of no return?

For now, he had no way of knowing.

“Yes, hyung. I just finished. You can take your time. I’ll be reading my script in the
nearby cafe. Okay then, see you later.”

Maru called Byungchan before starting to walk.

Gaeul grabbed onto the hem of her one-piece dress. She couldn’t believe that this
rather fluttery yellow dress cost 700 thousand won. It looked like it would only cost
30,000 won at the shopping mall in front of her house.

“Models, please get ready,” said the woman, who she saw when she just arrived at the
studio, with a clap.

“I think I’m going to suffocate if I keep wearing this,” Heewon grumbled.

He was wearing a gray check-patterned shirt and indigo overalls. He kept touching
the blackish-red bow tie around his neck as though he found it uncomfortable.
Whenever he did so, the stylist next to him told him not to touch it.

“Looks good on you.”

“Don’t laugh.”

Gaeul pouted. As Heewon usually wore similar-looking t-shirts and trainers usually,
overalls and proper formal shoes would feel like nothing but annoying pieces of
cloth and leather.

“Should we start with you, Mr. Heewon?”

The photographer told him to stand in the middle of the set. There were two old
tables and three chairs without backrests. One of those chairs had fallen down.

“You said that this is your first time modeling, right? For now, please stand in the
middle like that. As for your face, keep it expressionless as much as possible.
However, don’t tense or relax your eyes too much.”

Heewon stood upright. Gaeul covered her mouth and chuckled, but the photographer
didn’t say anything.

“Can you push your right leg outwards from that position just a little? Yes, that’s
good.”
Heewon did exactly what the photographer told him to do. He reached his hand out
when he was told to, and he turned his head when he was told to. Heewon’s
awkward-looking body eventually dissolved into the set naturally.

“Mr. Heewon. Can you sit down on the chair?”

Heewon sat upright on the chair with his hands clasped by his lap, and his knees
were together like a goody-two-shoes waiting for a graduation album photo. Gaeul
crossed her arms. When she looked at him along with the bookshelf behind him, she
felt like a smart child had entered his father’s study. It suited him, but whenever she
thought of how he acted usually, she couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Can you do a pose that you want to do? Anything is fine. If that’s too difficult, try
using your arms first. After that, your legs, then your expression. There’s no need to
be so confused about it. You just have to do things one by one.”

The photography set, which she thought would be very strict and would only be
filled with shutter sounds, was filled with laughs and light jokes instead. The
photographer, who was in his mid 30s, was very witty to the point that he might as
well switch jobs to being a host for a TV program. Heewon made little changes to his
expressions and posture as he heard his words. His awkward-looking pose gradually
became better. His hands, which would usually be placed awkwardly by the side,
would point at objects or be placed naturally on his body, and his eyes, which only
looked at the lens, eventually looked everywhere around the studio.

“Good. It’s fine to become daring. You can smile, and crying is fine too.”

“Can I take off this tie?”

“It looks good on you, is it too suffocating?”

“Yes. I just want to throw it away.”

“Hm, that sounds good too. Wait a moment.”

The photographer approached Heewon with the camera. He kneeled before getting a
side view of Heewon.

“Can you try throwing the bow tie on the ground with all your might? I’ll give you the
signal.”
“Can I really throw it?”

“Yes, put all your strength into it!”

When the photographer started counting from three, Heewon grabbed the tip of the
bow tie and took it off before he eventually threw it on the ground after the count of
one. Heewon smiled as though he felt refreshed.

“It’s good, but we did style you so that the bow tie completes the picture, and taking
it off blurs out the overall atmosphere. Miss Minjeong, please put it back on him.”

The stylist, who had been waiting on the side, quickly rushed over and put the bow
tie around Heewon’s neck again. Heewon jerked his shoulders, as though he was a
dog that didn’t like being put on a choker, before he eventually became docile.

“This is so exhausting.”

“That exhausting expression is good too.”

Regardless of what Heewon did, the photographer did not say a single bad thing. The
camera motor kept moving relentlessly, and shutter sounds filled the space.

“Can you make a drowsy expression now?”

The photographer, who was talking with Gyeonmi while looking at the monitor for a
while, gave a new request. Heewon’s face immediately turned into a daze. It was a
drowsy expression that would make anyone yawn just by looking at him.

“That looks good. Can you lean on the wall and sit down? Think of it as getting a rest
after a long work session.”

The shoot gained speed. The shutter sounds became a lot more frequent. It looked
like the camera was definitely on burst mode. Heewon seemed to have adapted, as he
slightly reacted at the shutter sounds and changed his body. Whenever his arms
waved out, the photographer excitedly shouted out ‘good’.

“Finished. Can you come over?”

Heewon walked over to the monitor. Gaeul stood next to him. The photographer
dragged a few files with the mouse and organized them before he pressed down on
the keyboard to show them in order.

“In the photos taken at first, your eyes look unstable, and your body looks
inconsistent, but you can see the change as time goes by, right?”

Gaeul exclaimed as she looked at the photos. The later photos made her wonder if it
was the same Lee Heewon. When the photographer pressed a few buttons on the
keyboard, the photos turned monochrome, and they gave off a dreamy sensation that
was in tandem with Heewon’s drowsy-looking eyes.

“How are they? Did you find any photos you like?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Choose some anyway. It is important for you to discern which photos are good and
for the photographer to find out about your preferences. In the future, you’ll be
working with other people a lot, so the more professional you become, the less good
it is for you to be so vague. This is the case for both the photographer and the model.”

“Then I like this one and this one. It makes me happy just by looking at them.”

Heewon picked two photos. The first one was where he had his eyes closed as
though he was sleepy, and the second one was where he was leaning against the wall
with his arms crossed and looking slightly down.

“Why do you like these two?”

“Because I look like I’m sleeping.”

The photographer put on a thick smile. He selected a few photos including the ones
that Heewon chose before moving them into another folder.

Gaeul started getting nervous. She wasn’t aware of the passage of time when Heewon
was shooting, but as soon as she realized that it was her turn, she wondered if she
could do well. On top of that, Heewon managed to bring out his unique traits and
finished the shoot successfully. She now felt pressured to do well.

“Miss Gaeul, shall we start?” The photographer said with a smile.

Gaeul nodded and stood in the middle of the set. There was a black piece of cloth
covering the giant lights on the side, and the heat from that light was quite intense. It
felt like it could be used as a heater. Now, she found Heewon amazing for being so
calm in front of it. It was on a completely different level from the lights she saw when
she helped out Maru.

“There should be some heat. Don’t get conscious of it though. If you keep thinking
that it’s hot, you might really start sweating.”

“Yes.”

“Miss Gaeul.”

“Yes?”

“What did you eat for lunch today?”

“Lunch? Four pieces of kimbap.”

“Oh, my. You must be hungry then. Don’t you want to eat a lot of things?”

“There are a lot of things I really want to eat.”

“For example?”

“Fries! I like anything fried.”

“Fries, huh. I love them too. There’s nothing that tastes better than fries during the
late night.”

“Right, I feel you.”

“Becoming an actress is hard after all, right? Sometimes, you have to skip your meals,
and you have to ignore it even if there’s something tasty in front of you. Sometimes,
you have to smile even though you feel sad.”

“There’s that, but I enjoy acting, so it’s fine.”

“So you’re an adult already, Miss Gaeul. I still can’t shake off such temptations.”

The photographer kept talking to her without holding the camera. He asked what
she liked, what her favorite animal was, if she could differentiate between different
dog species, and things like that. Eventually, Gaeul felt like she had become used to
the heat and the air inside the studio, as well as the gazes of the people. At that
moment, the photographer picked up the camera. She was inwardly a little startled.
It felt like the photographer was saying ‘I see you’re ready now’ just at the right time.

“You can put your eyes on anything you want. But looking at empty air must be quite
difficult, right? There’s a poster behind me right? Can you have a look at that one for
a sec?”

Just as the photographer told her to, Gaeul looked at the poster on the wall. That
poster, expressed with a violent mix of gray and white, showed an elderly with
cloudy eyes was looking right ahead. Gaeul felt a chill. She felt as though the elderly
on the poster was about to pop out at any moment.

“That kind of feeling is good. The disparity between your colorful clothes and your
expression is good to look at. But your expression does look a little stiff.”

“Oh, I’m sorry about that. I was focused on the poster so I subconsciously…”

“Oh really?”

The photographer turned around before laughing awkwardly.

“I see. That poster is definitely quite burdensome to look at for a long time. I might
sound like I’m flattering myself, but I actually felt really proud after shooting that
poster. It gave me the chills the moment I saw it.”

“Yes. It really does give off that feeling.”

“Do you recognize who it is?”

Gaeul squinted. She was overwhelmed by the elder’s eyes that she didn’t have the
chance to look at his whole face. When she looked at the elder with more leisure,
Gaeul exclaimed,

“Isn’t that Sir Yoon Moonjoong?”

“Yes, it is. Do you perhaps know what Twilight Struggles is?”

“Yes! I do.”

Gaeul replied loudly. How could she not? It was Maru’s first appearance in a film.

“It’s one of the posters for that movie. But it wasn’t used. Apparently, senior Yoon’s
eyes are too much to bear. Actually, I felt rather frustrated. The photo turned out so
good. Miss Gaeul, how is it? Do you like that photo?”

“Yes,” she replied without hesitation.

While she felt scared, she was able to see that the photo was a really good one. It was
a photo that shook one’s emotions subconsciously. There was no way she didn’t like
it.

“That kind of expression isn’t something you can make with just a good camera and a
good photo editing program. Honestly speaking, that senior will probably look like
that even with a disposable camera. That’s because that’s the power he himself
possesses. Of course, you can shoot photos like that too.”

“Me?”

“People all have their unique atmospheres. Of course, it’ll get deeper with experience
and time, but there are definitely characteristics you can only show at that certain
moment. Miss Gaeul, can you try smiling?”

Gaeul hesitated before smiling. It was something she did numerous times when
acting, but it was quite hard to maintain a static smile.

“Miss Gaeul, you can feel that the smile is a little awkward too, can’t you?”

“Yes.”

“It might be because it’s your first time, but it might also be because you’re only
moving your muscles. When you’re acting, your expressions aren’t separate from
your emotions, right? It’s the same when it comes to photos. It might be more static
and more momentary compared to a video, but emotions definitely do get captured
in it. I want to see your pure smile, Miss Gaeul. What might make you smile in
comfort? Family? Friends? Or maybe a lover?”

Gaeul had a look at a few of the images that swirled inside her head before smiling.
The photographer started pressing the shutter.

“It looks okay, but you do seem rather uneasy.”

“Is that so?”

Gaeul was startled because she felt like he found out what she was thinking. What
she thought of just now was Maru’s face. She wanted to be with him, but she kept
thinking about her lack of qualities and how she decided to put some distance
between them for a while. It was true that she liked him, but whenever she thought
about him, she subconsciously ended up comparing herself to him. Did she have
what it took to stand on the same stage as Maru right now?

“How about something else? I want to see you more relaxed.”

A relaxed smile, huh. Just then, she saw Heewon yawn like a frog behind the lights.
He looked like he would actually go to sleep if there was a blanket nearby. Seeing his
goofy attitude, she felt like a fool for being so worried. Just then, a smile crept onto
her face.

“That’s it, that one’s good. Remember that feeling and let’s have your right arm grab
your left for a moment, shall we?” said the photographer.

Gaeul did what he said and smiled according to her memory.

“Have a look. Sometimes, you might feel embarrassed and don’t want to look at your
own photo, but you already know that actors and actresses are always on the side of
being shot. You should find out what kind of photos make you look good. It might not
seem like anything much, but it’s pretty important.”

The photographer showed her a photo after it went through some processing. Just as
he said, it was quite embarrassing and unfamiliar to see her smiling face through a
screen. Gaeul endured the ticklish sensation rising up inside her and looked at the
screen. The feelings of embarrassment eventually dissipated, and she started
focusing on her expression and the composition of the photo. Now that she was able
to look at the whole picture, she found things that weren’t to her liking.

“Veteran actors can play around with their atmosphere like professional models.
That’s because they know how they would look through the camera. The more
frequently you stand in front of the camera, the better your eyes will become at
discerning things like that.”

“Would we be able to shoot photos like that in the future?” Gaeul asked as she
pointed at the poster for Twilight Struggles.

“As I said before, you will be able to do it once you find out what your charm is and
how you should express it. Of course, that won’t be easy. If it was, there would be no
reason for professional models, photographers, or actors to exist.”

Gaeul nodded after hearing that.

“Let’s finish choosing the photos for now, shall we? Pick those that you like as well as
those that you don’t like. You might have overheard me saying this to Mr. Heewon
before, but I’ll say it again - vague answers aren’t good here. In fact, a clear
expression of like and dislike would be preferred. A clear opinion would make the
final product much more distinct. That is regardless of whether that’s in a good way
or a bad way.”

The photographer flipped through the photos. Gaeul selected the photos while
thinking about what the photographer said. There wasn’t a photo to her liking, but
there were things that she didn’t like.

“Then I’ll do my work based on these. Senior Choi, we’re all done here.”

While the photographer had a conversation with Gyeonmi, Gaeul looked at her
photos that were hung across two screens.

“Uhm, sir, can I take a photo of this one with my phone?”

“You aren’t going to use it commercially, are you?”

The photographer had spoken with a smile. Gaeul said yes.

“Then take as many as you like. Mr. Heewon, there’s a folder next to hers too, so you
can open it if you want to take photos as well.”

“I’m okay.”

Heewon looked like he clearly couldn’t be bothered. Gaeul took photos of the one
that emphasized yellow and the one where she was looking into the distance while
sitting in a diagonal position. Although the resolution wasn’t that clear since she was
taking a photo of the screen, it was enough for her to discern that the model was
herself.

This was her first time modeling. Although any information about her or her
interview wouldn’t go alongside it, as the photo was for a concept page, she still felt
rather excited that her face would be going on a magazine. She felt like she was
definitely making progress, albeit little by little. She also had the small expectation
that she might achieve what she aimed for in the future.

-But this isn’t enough.

The rabbit in her heart had spoken.

-You’ll have to be strict in the future. As you know, what matters is your actions after
you declare your resolve. If you call Maru just because you feel a little lonely or tired,
you’ll stay where you are forever.

I know - Gaeul inwardly replied. She was still far off from facing Maru boldly when he
had won the role of a main character in a drama with his skills.
-It might be hard right now. You might want to see him. However, if you meet in that
vague state you are in right now, you’ll obviously feel even worse. You have a dream,
don’t you? A dream to stand on the same stage as Maru. You’re going to endure
everything for the sake of that. You might feel rather tragic right now, but you’ll be
able to stand up straight in front of Maru without feeling embarrassed once enough
time passes and you have grown up properly. You’ll be in a splendid relationship
where you both acknowledge each other. You’ll be standing on the same level, and
you’ll love each other without differences. You want that, don’t you?

An equal relationship, the ring that term brought had filled her body. Just as the
rabbit said, it might be a little hard right now. However, she would be able to see
Maru with more leisure and more confidence if she won against that temptation and
practiced and improved herself. By then, her confidence would come back as well.

-If you want your relationship to be smooth, you’ll have to become perfect first. So
that you won’t lose when compared to him.

Gaeul listened to her words. The rabbit living inside her heart sometimes made her
sad by telling her sharp words, but objectively, it was all advice in the end.

Why are you looking out so much for me? - Gaeul asked her.

-I said this many times before, but allow me to say it again. I’m the one person who
wishes for your happiness more than anyone in this world. Han Gaeul, you’re an
adult now, aren’t you? Not a little child. Adults should learn how to look into the far
future. You have to suppress your desire and receive an achievement in the future;
that’s what being an adult is about. You are an adult, aren’t you?

Gaeul nodded faintly. She didn’t want to be a stubborn little child. Whether it was for
her mother’s sake or for those around her, she wanted to become an independent
person as soon as possible. By then, she would be able to stand up in front of
everyone else with confidence.

-Yes. Preparations are good when it’s perfect. Starting off recklessly and continuing
on without a plan is something that only little kids do. Gaeul, you are an adult, aren’t
you? If you are an adult, you should plan ahead. You are doing really well right now.
You’ve suppressed meaningless temptations and impulsive emotions, and you are
focusing on what matters. You’re an adult who’s rational. Don’t be shaken. For now,
just look forward. Bring back results and achievements. Who knows? Maru might fall
in love with you even more. Become a capable woman and start off with a perfect
love. Not something trivial and immature, but a perfect, flawless love. I don’t think
that dating someone when you aren’t completely prepared is being respectful to the
other party. Don’t you think so too?

Gaeul looked at her own figure reflected by the monitor. For now, it was time to focus
on this. Picturing an ideal environment where she started off everything in a perfect
condition made Gaeul tense her eyes.

-Yes, you should put more effort in like that. Forget about Maru for the time being.

***

The radio notified him that it was 7 p.m. Maru, who was inside the car that was
driving at a slow speed, realized that he was almost at his destination.

“Hyung, I’ll walk from here. It’ll be difficult for you to get in there with the car.”

“I’ll give you a ride all the way. It won’t take that long.”

“It’ll be a pain to bring the car back out later. There are a lot of people since it’s the
weekend. Also, the alleyway where the pojang-macha is is a one-way road, so it’s
quite complex. It’ll be better for me to walk from here.”

“Really?”

Byungchan nodded and stopped the car. Maru opened the door and got off.

“I’ll come over once I park the car, so go ahead.”

“You’re coming?”

“Of course I am. The actor is doing his job, so the manager can’t leave his side.”

“You should go back and get some rest. I can get a taxi if there isn't any public
transport.”

“I told you, didn’t I? It’s going to be a war of stamina from now on. You should just
listen to me and let me give you a ride. Plus, I’m trying to do my work here, so I’m
going to feel sad if you don’t let me do it. Are you trying to make me feel
unemployed?”

Byungchan smiled and drove the car in reverse. Maru picked up his bag and entered
the alleyway on his left. The street that was covered with all sorts of fancy lights
disappeared from view, and he eventually came across closed shops. He moved
according to the streetlights that were placed far apart. This place still smelled of
sewers.

While he was walking across the asphalt, he started hearing some murmurs. A bright
light that was a contrast to the dark alley, shone down on the pojang-macha in front
of a shabby shop.

“Hey, new guy! Bring a Jem Ball and a tungsten focus light. Yes, the one with four
lights in a row. Director, I think we should change the position of the lights in the
pojang-macha a little. Like this, it’ll cast shadows on the actors’ faces.”

“Okay, go ahead.”

The staff were moving busily in and around the pojang-macha. The last time he came
here, the pojang-macha was like a silent isle in the middle of the city, but right now, it
was just as bustling and noisy as any other part of the city.

“Hello.”

Maru greeted producer Yoo Jayeon who was watching the lights director.

“Oh, you’re early. Did I look at the schedule wrong?”

“I came early because I finished early for the other one. There wasn’t anything to do
for me.”

Maru looked at the pojang-macha. It looked different from before. The signature
dropping orange curtain had been rolled up and tied at the ceiling. It seemed to have
been done because it would be hard for the camera to capture the actors as the
pojang-macha was a small one with just six seats. The lights installed on either side
gave off some light similar to that of the streetlights, brightening up the
surroundings.

“Now that I look at it like this, it looks really small. Even smaller than last time.”
“It’s not surprising with this many people around. But when we’re shooting, we’re
going to have a maximum of 7 people in the set, so it doesn’t matter.”

“You took out two of the stools too.”

“I wanted to emphasize that it’s cozy.”

Jayeon approached the staff who was placing the props throughout the pojang-
macha. The two steamers, the container for fishcakes, as well as the basket for boiled
eggs. The interior was mostly the same as before.

“Han Maru.”

Producer Jayeon waved at him. There was a person holding a camera below the
streetlight next to the pojang-macha.

“This is our stills photographer, and this is one of the main characters in the drama.”

Jayeon briefly introduced them to each other. Maru immediately greeted.

“Hello. My name is Han Maru.”

“Yes, nice to meet you. I’m Kim Joon.”

Maru shook hands with the photographer.

“Can you take a photo of him? We’re going to put it in the making film, so let’s get a
single shot of him since he arrived first.”

The photographer smiled and nodded.

“Do I have to pose?” he asked as he looked at the camera lens since he had never
experienced getting a stills shot.

“Just act naturally. It’s no fun if it looks too artificial.”

Maru nodded. The photographer didn’t immediately press the shutter. After a few
minutes, the camera no longer bothered him. Maru picked up his script and looked
around inside the pojang-macha while saying his lines. There were about 30 minutes
until the appointed time.
Just then, he heard the photographer call out to him. His head turned left. He saw the
photographer checking the screen on the camera.

“They turned out pretty good.”

Maru walked over to him when the photographer waved at him to come. He showed
Maru the back of the camera. On the screen was a figure of himself who looked like
he was muttering something while holding the script.

“I’ll shoot you a lot. I like cold images like this. Of course, I’m not saying that your
impression is desolate.”

“It’s fine. I get that my eyes look nasty a lot.”

The photographer looked at him in a daze for a while before laughing out loud.

“Which one among these do you like the most?”

The photographer showed him several photos while pressing some buttons. He had
shot nearly 30 photos in that short time. The composition, the colors, and the
intensity of the light were all different. Maru looked at the photos and picked the one
where a shadow was cast on his face because of the light from the streetlight.

“I like this one.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I’m not knowledgeable in photography, but I feel like this suits the mood of this
alley quite well.”

“How about this one?”

The photographer showed him another photo. That one looked okay as well, but
Maru liked the one he picked a little more.

“I like this photo better.”

“Haha, alright. I like people with clear opinions like you, Mr. Maru. I don’t like vague
things.”
The photographer started walking around again with the camera in hand. Maru
looked at him for a while before moving his eyes onto his script.
Maru sat down on the chair given to him by the staff. When he was part-timing as a
background actor, the shade and the uneven ground was his shelter, so it did feel like
his treatment had changed. When he was a supporting actor, he could sit down on a
chair, but he had to find his own.

The preparations were almost done at the set, and the staff was mostly waiting for
the actors.

As he was looking at his script, he saw a motorbike coming near. The man got off the
motorbike after parking it against the wall before taking his helmet off.

“You’re here,” Maru greeted as he stood up.

Ganghwan came over with a faint smile as he rustled his hair.

“It feels really strange to be doing something outdoors.”

“You should get used to it. You’re the main character of this drama.”

Ganghwan brought a chair and sat next to him.

“Where are the rest?”

“Yuna should be here soon. Mira-noona and Byungjae-hyung will be a little late since
their scene isn’t until later.”

“I can’t get used to things like this. I mean, the main characters arriving at different
times and shooting separately.”

“It’s not a play after all. Also, don’t you need to go through makeup?”

“I do.”

Ganghwan went over to where the makeup artist was. As he was supposed to be a
writer living alone in a shanty town, it didn’t seem like it would take a long time.
After watching Ganghwan getting his makeup done for a while, Maru found a white
sedan slowly entering the premises. As the alley was narrow and had become even
narrower thanks to the various vehicles of the staff, it wasn’t able to come that far.
Yuna got out of that car after it stopped in front of a small building. She started
running over.

“You’ll fall over. We haven’t started yet, so take it slow.”

“But I feel nervous when I see you all together like this.”

“You can’t feel nervous already. We haven’t even started the shoot yet,” Maru said as
he looked at the car that was turned off.

“Wasn’t it hard getting here? It should’ve taken ages since it’s the weekend.”

Yuna sighed.

“I might as well have walked. We tried to come into this alleyway from the main
street, but a fight broke out in front of us. It suddenly turned into a fight between
two groups, causing total chaos. I was going to get off and walk here, but mom said
it’s dangerous and told me to stay.”

“You did well to do that. If you got off and got injured or anything, it would be very
troublesome. Is your mother over there?”

“Yes. I told her that she doesn’t have to come, but she told me she wanted to give me
a ride.”

“She’s sending her daughter to a shoot that’s done late at night. I’m sure she must be
worried.”

Maru saw that white sedan for the first time when he went to the audition for ‘Apgu’.
That day, Bitna was in the passenger seat, but today, it was Yuna instead. Both sisters
were debuting on TV. It seemed that their mother’s business senses were
exceptional. Yuna’s mother got out of the car. She, wearing casual clothes, walked
over to where Yuna was.

“Hello,” Maru greeted first.

After Yuna’s mother looked at him for a while, she smiled back at him.
“I did see you quite frequently during Apgu, but this is our first time talking like this,
isn’t it?”

“Yes. Is Bitna doing well?”

“Of course. I’m troubled because she’s doing a little too well. How can she be so
mature? I’m her mother, but I feel like there’s nothing I can do for her. On the other
hand, our Yuna is an airhead and is a little too cautious with things, so I have to
watch her nervously whenever she does something,” Yuna’s mother answered with a
smile.

Yuna became startled and tried to push her mother away. Just from looking at her
back, Maru could imagine what kind of expression was on her face right now.

“You don’t have to be so polite with me.”

“Then shall I? We might see each other often in the future.”

“Yes.”

After smiling, Yuna’s mother spoke again as though she thought of something,

“Now that I think about it, did you meet Yuna a little while ago? Bitna told me that
Yuna wanted quite a bit to see you.”

“Mom!”

Maru could see that Yuna’s face had turned red even in the darkness.

“We did, and I heard a lot of good things from her.”

“From Yuna?”

“Yes, she’s an honest fellow, so there’s a lot to learn from her.”

“Then I guess that’s good. I was worried that she might have troubled you or
something. Anyway, I hope you can take care of her from now on. She’s someone who
does really well if people look out for her just a little.”

“I think so too.”
Yuna, who had been causing a ruckus on the side, eventually managed to push her
mother away. Only after checking that she had walked away did Yuna sigh
powerlessly.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be. She looks like a good person. She seems cheerful too.”

“She’s way too cheerful, that’s the problem. She’s not like that around Bitna, but she
always treats me like a kid.”

“It’s because you are a kid. It’s true that Bitna is a little more mature, isn’t it?”

Yuna, who looked at Maru in a daze, shut her mouth before sitting down. She looked
at her script without even looking up.

“You mad?”

“I’m not. I’m just reading my script like how an adult would.”

“You know, I thought of this a while ago, but even now I think that it’s quite fun to
tease you.”

“It’s not!”

When he first met her on Bitna’s introduction, he thought that she was a docile little
girl, but after seeing her cry on the spot, he realized that she was someone who was
honest about her emotions. She probably showed her emotions to those close to her
without holding back.

“You know? It’s a good thing to be so close to your parents. There are many people
who are worried because they can’t do that.”

“I know. I know about it too, but she teases me like this from time to time.”

“Pranks only work if there are people to receive it. Honestly, I don’t have the
confidence to play pranks on Bitna. When I make a joke, I think she would just stare
at me and ask ‘is that supposed to be funny?’ with a straight face. That’s really scary,
you know?”
“Bitna is smart after all. Unlike me.”

“That’s why your mother is playing jokes on you. Just take it with a smile.”

“Fine, I get it.”

Yuna pouted as she closed the script.

“What do you get?”

Ganghwan had appeared behind them after finishing his makeup. Yuna immediately
stood up and greeted him.

“Hyung-nim, don’t tease her in the future. Yuna really hates it. Okay?”

“N-no! Senior, I’m okay. Maru-seonbae is saying strange things.”

Ganghwan chuckled after seeing Yuna, who retorted immediately, for a while.

“I’m not sure what it is, but Han Maru, don’t tease her too much. You’re supposed to
be looking out for her.”

“Looking out for others is supposed to be the job of the great senior, don’t you think
so?”

“But I’m not a great senior though. Also, I have my hands full taking care of myself.
Standing in front of the camera does really feel weird.”

Ganghwan walked over to Jayeon. Yuna glared at Maru and stayed standing up.

“Really, Gaeul-seonbae must be an angel.”

“Why is this suddenly about that?”

“She is an angel! She accepts your teasing, doesn’t she? You really are a bad person.”

“Hey, can you say that when you put your tears, snot, and even makeup all over a
person’s shirt on their first meeting?”

“Th-there was no snot!”

Now, even her ears had turned red. Maru covered his mouth with his script and
chuckled. He decided to stop there since she might actually get pissed if he teased
her anymore.

“How is Gaeul doing these days?”

“Gaeul-seonbae?”

Yuna became calm. Maru remembered that change.

“Well, I guess she’s doing good. She comes over to the acting club once every two
days because she’s busy with work, but she looks out for us whenever she does come
by.”

“Looks like she’s doing well. Does she look like she’s hurt or has a problem?”

Yuna’s voice became lower.

“Gaeul-seonbae is always cheerful. That’s why the juniors like her. It didn’t look like
there was a problem with her.”

“Then I guess that’s good.”

“Don’t you have any more to ask?” Yuna asked grumpily.

“You don’t like the fact that I asked you about Gaeul?”

“That’s… not it.”

Even though she said that, her eyes were on the ground. Her words and her body
were moving separately. Maru no longer spoke. It looked like she hadn’t put aside
her feelings yet.

“Sorry. I didn’t intend for things to go this way,” Yuna said after a long time.

“I want to have a comfortable relationship with you. We’re going to be working

together for over a month from now, so it’s somewhat iffy to stay awkward all that
time.”

“Yes, you’re right.”

Yuna, who flipped over her script meaninglessly, spoke again only after a long time.

“But you’re quite mean too, you know? You didn’t have to ask me that.”

“About how Gaeul is doing?”

“Yes. I’m sure you must know well since you’re dating. Even without asking me, you
can call her about it too. Don’t tease me like that. It was you who told me that I’ll put
away my feelings soon, wasn’t it? But it hasn't happened yet.”

After saying those words, Yuna bit her lips slightly. She then shook her head and
looked like she was full of regret after realizing that she said something she
shouldn’t.

Maru tapped on his script and spoke,

“I had no intention of teasing you. First, I was too short-sighted, sorry about that. I
thought you were over it after seeing your expression.”

“Then why did you ask me about Gaeul-seonbae?”

“Because I really don’t know.”

“What?”

“I don’t know, so I asked you. That’s all.”

“You can call her up though.”

“Unfortunately, dear Miss Gaeul doesn’t pick up my calls.”

“Why doesn’t she pick up your calls?”

Yuna’s face was colored with a questioning light. Maru didn’t explain and kept
staring at her. After looking at him for a while, Yuna became stiff like a startled cat
and spoke,

“D-did you get into a fight or something? Is it because of me? Is it because of my

mistake?”
Maru shook his head.

“It’s not that we fought.”

“Th-then why?”

“People need some time to themselves in life, right? I think it’s that time for her right
now. That’s why I asked you. I was wondering if perhaps she was worried about
something. From what you said though, it doesn’t look like that’s the case. Perhaps
there’s a different reason other than time.”

Maru stood up as he stretched his arms out. Romantic relationships during

studenthood usually ended with separating after a period like this. They were at an
age where they had nothing to worry about in terms of relationships. Meeting and
dating were easy, but separating was just as easy as well.

After getting older, there would be a lot of things to think about. People would
become cautious and would think about what the other party is thinking. There were
a lot of other variables at play as well. Money, time, acquaintances, and jobs. Once a
relationship becomes deep, it would be hard to untangle like a pair of earphones that
were stuffed inside a pocket. That was why there was a need to notify the other
party when there was a need to split up. Only after telling each other clearly that
they were done would they be able to untangle that earphone cord.

During studenthood though, there was nothing that bound them or restricted them.
There was no need to worry about social appearances, so splitting up was always
done in a vague, subconscious manner. Though, the ones who knew etiquette would
still tell the other party that they should get along well in the future.

Gaeul was currently standing on a very important crossroad in her life. She joined an
agency and was seeking opportunities while taking lessons with a talented person.
She might be psychologically and/or physically tired. Perhaps she crossed off dating
from her list of priorities after realizing that romantic relationships weren’t anything
great. Regardless of her decision, Maru was willing to respect her for that and follow
it. Even a snot-nosed brat knew that the future was more important than immediate
relationships after all. There was also the possibility that her agency had banned her
from having romantic relationships.

“Seonbae, there’s nothing wrong, is there?”

Yuna had asked nervously. It seemed that she thought that her presence might have
influenced their relationship negatively. Maru put on a relaxed smile. For now, the
priority was to calm her down. Just as this was an important period for Gaeul, Maru
was also facing an opportunity he could not miss. Calming down his work partner
and helping her focus on the drama was his priority.

“I said there’s none. We’re doing well.”

“I-if you’re curious about how Gaeul-seonbae is doing, I’ll tell you from time to time. I
can do that much.”

“How much of a bad guy are you trying to make me? I won’t ask about Gaeul in the
future. In fact, sorry about that. I asked you something unnecessary.”

“No, I… am really fine.”

“Thanks for the words.”

Maru shoved a script in front of Yuna’s face.

“Anyway, did you memorize the script properly?”

“The script? Of course, I hugged it in my sleep.”

“Shall we go through it once before the shoot begins?”

“That’s good for me.”

“You have to do it like it’s the real thing even while practicing. You know what I
mean, right?”

“Of course, I’ll do just that,” replied Yuna who had been trembling like a scared
herbivore.

Maru became relieved and opened the script again.

“Do I look good?” Ganghwan asked.

The apron he was wearing, which had udon broth splattered here and there, was
from the owner of the pojang-macha himself. The navy-blue jersey was apparently
Ganghwan’s own. It seemed like there were no sponsored items or anything.

“It suits you. But do you know how to cook? You’re going to have to use a lot of tools
during the shoot.”

As soon as Maru said those words, Ganghwan put a ladle in between his fingers and
spun it around.

“You shouldn’t underestimate a single man living by himself.”

“But is there anything to cook?” Yuna asked.

As the main menu of the pojang-macha only included udon, dumplings, and soondae,
it didn’t seem like there would be a lot of cooking scenes. At most, Ganghwan would
just have to put the already-cooked food onto the plates.

Maru looked behind him. The staff surrounding the pojang-macha were all looking at
producer Jayeon. She, who was sitting in front of the monitor, was staring holes into
a paper in her palm. It was probably the order of contents that she wrote down.

Jayeon stood up. It looked like she was about to begin.

“I’m sorry to say this before we start, but it’s gonna be tight. Be prepared, actor
Yang.”

“Yes, yes, director. This is your debut piece, so you should try your best.”

Ganghwan joked around.

“It’ll be quite hard since there will be eating scenes in it. You’re going to have to keep
eating until we get a proper cut, so if you feel sick or anything, just put a little in your
mouth and continue chewing. I’ll place a trash can next to you, so if you really feel
like you can’t do it, you can spit it out.”

Yuna smiled brightly and replied ‘yes’. Maru inwardly sighed. During his shoot of
Apgu, there was a scene where all of the minor actors ate boiled chicken soup.
People ate the chicken happily during the first shoot, but eventually, they looked like
they were chewing on rubber. Maru was the same. There was nothing scarier than
repeatedly acting out an eating scene.

“Good, let’s have a go then.”

Jayeon returned to the monitor.

***

“That’s two udon for you. Enjoy yourselves. Tell me if you want more.”

Yuna accepted the bowl with both of her hands. She looked at the bowl of udon that
was steaming before smelling it. It was a fragrance that made her stomach feel
warm. She maintained the smile that crept onto her face before putting some
noodles inside her mouth with her chopsticks. The elastic noodles snapped just
perfectly and added to the chewiness. The udon was delicious to the point that she
didn’t need to exaggerate that it was delicious. It should suffice if she just showed the
camera what she felt like right now.

She picked up her spoon and took a spoonful of the broth before blowing on it. From
the way there was no cut sound, it seemed to be going well. Was she doing rather
well for her first shoot? Just as she thought that and was about to drink the broth,
she heard the cut sound which broke her immersion. Following that, she heard
footsteps approaching the pojang-macha.

“Yuna.”

“Yes?”

“You’re eating way too blandly.”

“Eh? Me?”

“Look.”
Jayeon picked up some strands of noodles with the chopsticks. She put them inside
her mouth with a faint smile on her face before she started chewing. What seemed to
be the problem? Yuna kept observing Jayeon before she widened her eyes. The way
she chewed looked way too haughty. Her lips were sealed as though it was zipped up,
and the movement of her jaws was way too small. Compared to that, her head was
nodding way too exaggeratedly.

“Was that how I ate?”

“Wanna look?” Jayeon said as she pointed at the monitor.

Yuna shook her head.

“You’re trying to eat way too prettily. Well, yes, if you’re on a date in a nice restaurant
with a romantic atmosphere, then sure, I can take that. You would look around to
take in the mood, admire the fragrance, and evaluate the food while nodding. But this
place is a pojang-macha. Moreover, isn’t the character known as ‘Yoon Jihae’, that
you’re acting out, supposed to be a determined girl? Or am I the only one thinking
that?”

Jayeon handed her the bowl. Yuna accepted the bowl with an apologetic expression.

“I’m not telling you to exaggerate it. But you know, how would it look normally? You
just need to show that. Think about how you would eat ramyun at home. I don’t
think you would nod with your mouth closed like some noble lady, would you?”

“I’ll try again.”

“Yes. I like that you aren’t shrinking back on your first shoot. I also like how you’re
trying to show a lot. However, I’m telling you now that that’s not enough. You have to
do well, please.”

The word ‘please’ reverberated in Yuna’s mind. The bowl of udon suddenly felt heavy
now. She quickly placed the bowl on the folding-out table. The pressure
overwhelmed her body.

“We’ll do that again.”

Yuna shook her head and got herself together. This wasn’t the time to daze out. She
thought about the director’s instructions. She needed to forget about eating prettily
and act normal. But wait, were the chopsticks supposed to go in the right hand?

“Three, two, one, cue!”

Jayeon’s voice woke her up. She picked up her chopsticks as she looked at the broth
that was changed out in order to renew the steam. She thought that she should smile
and eat like it’s delicious. She opened her mouth moderately and put the udon in her
mouth. The udon had become bloated in that short time causing the noodles to just
slide down her throat before she could even chew on them. It was much worse
compared to the elastic noodles of the first time, but Yuna acted as though she was
impressed by the noodles and just kept eating.

“Cut!”

She heard those words when she scoped her third round of noodles. Her tension
loosened up, and she let go of her chopsticks. She turned her stiff head around to the
monitor. Yuna subconsciously bit the inside of her mouth. Jayeon was approaching
her with the same expression as before.

“It wasn’t good, was it? I’m sorry.”

She said those words as soon as she met Jayeon in the eyes. Reality hit her. The fact
that this was a shooting set and that many people’s time depended on her pressured
her a lot.

“Kim Yuna.”

“Yes?”

“What are you so scared about?”

Jayeon asked her with a smile. Yuna focused on her straight upper teeth before she
was startled by the hand that was placed on her shoulder.

“Are you nervous?”

“N-no.”

“Do you remember when you did your audition? I did pick you because I liked your
acting, but I gave you high points because you showed yourself without hiding
anything. Of course, I get that you’re having a hard time since it’s your first time
shooting. I have it hard too. I honestly don’t know where I should start. I imagine that
you’re the same.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, no. It’s not something for you to apologize about, and no one here would feel
pleased about your apology either. You know? I just want to see your honest acting.
Right now, it feels like you’re trying to show something off. I get that you want to do
well, but I want you to rein it in. Also, one more thing. Remember that there are three
of you acting right now. Don’t focus on the udon so much. You don’t have to. Just be
natural. Of course, I understand how hard that must be, but don’t you think actors
should be able to do that?”

Yuna slowly nodded. Nothing Jayeon said was wrong. Jayeon followed on to give her
more detailed instructions.

“As I said during the rehearsal, look around when you eat and exchange gazes with
Maru. You didn’t realize that Maru was looking at you from the side, did you?”

Yuna honestly nodded. She was so focused on the udon that she was unable to think
about other things.

“This time, try having a wider vision.”

Jayeon went back. Yuna apologized to Ganghwan and Maru in a small voice.

“Making mistakes is how you learn. Anyway, Jayeon, she became rather lenient. If it
was before, she would’ve slapped you and asked if that’s all you amount to.”

Ganghwan said that while shivering. Maru agreed with those words

“It’ll become like that soon enough. She’s letting her go because this is the first shoot
outside, but I think she’ll definitely say something later on.”

Hearing the two say that, she became extremely worried. When she made a dejected
expression, Maru spoke to her,

“Don’t be afraid of people swearing at you. It’s normal here. Just like what hyung-nim
said, everyone here learns from mistakes. What’s important is to make the director
not say the same words twice. Do you remember what she said to you?”

“Yes. I remember them.”

“Try being conscious of that when you act.”

“Can I do it?”

“Well, we’ll see when the shoot starts.”

Good luck - Maru added. Yuna puffed up her cheeks before slowly loosening them.
Nervousness left her face after being taut from the puffing.

“Also, don’t forget to turn your head my way after you eat some noodles.”

“Yes.”

While she gathered herself together and muttered her lines, there was another cue
sign. Her lips rendezvoused with the bloated noodles. Let’s just eat comfortably -
thinking that, Yuna chewed on the noodles that just fell apart. Then she picked up
the bowl. She usually drank the soup from the bowl instead of using her spoon. The
perfect temperature broth entered her body. The prickly air at the set felt a little
softer.

When she put down the bowl, Yuna thought about the rehearsal. I should turn my
head - just as she saw the side of Maru’s face, Maru also turned around. He, who had
a few strands of noodles in his mouth, hurriedly slurped them down before wiping
his mouth with the back of his hand. He then made an awkward smile as he looked at
her.

For a brief moment, Yuna forgot that this was a shoot. Maru, who expressed his
embarrassment openly with a pure face, looked nothing like the usual him. She could
feel a ticklish embarrassment welling up from inside her throat. She felt like she
could feel the exact same thing that Maru was feeling.

For now, she carried out all of the director’s instructions. This was an eating scene
without any lines. She wondered what she had to do next. Yuna looked at her own
feelings first before she looked into the character’s background. What would love be
to a girl who had been living alongside poverty for a long time? What would a
‘normal date’ feel like to a girl who had been handing out leaflets during middle
school and was still working four days a week even now that she was in high school?

Yuna couldn’t smile that easily. If it was the real her, she would grin helplessly, but
she felt like the ‘Yoon Jihae’ in the drama wouldn’t be so relaxed. Despite that, Yuna
smiled. The smile was far from a pleasant one, but she still smiled. It was a smile that
was a mix of truth and lies; a mix of the drama character and her own self.

Yuna looked at Maru’s eyes for a while before turning back to her bowl. She then
started eating wordlessly. She felt happy but sad at the same time. It was because of
the drama background as well as her own feelings towards Maru. She thought that
perhaps the character in the drama was in a similar situation to her.

“Would you like some more?” Maru asked.

This wasn’t in the script. After all, there weren’t any lines in the script. Haejoon and
Jihae eat udon together at a pojang-macha - this was everything in the script.

Yuna’s thoughts raced. How should she reply? Before she could finish thinking about
how she should answer, her mouth gave the answer already.

“May I?”

When her words entered her ears, Yuna thought that this was the best outcome
possible. They were words that were from both Yoon Jihae, who had been living a life
where she read people’s feelings all the time, as well as her own, who was having a
hard time during the shoot.

“Of course. Not that it’s something I’m giving you.”

Maru asked Ganghwan for another bowl. Ganghwan made a gentle smile and
scooped out a ladle of boiling broth and a handful of noodles. Seeing that whole
process, Yuna felt like this pojang-macha was something real. She was also dissolving
into this atmosphere. It was relaxing and comfortable.

“Good!”

The moment she heard that shout coming over from where the monitor was, Yuna
felt like she had woken up from a dream. Her eyes were fixed on Maru.

“You did well there, eh?” Maru said.

Yuna felt an indescribable sense of excitement.

“How’s the udon I made? Pretty decent, isn’t it?”

“Hyung-nim, the owner of this place prepared all that, though.”

“But you know, but there’s still the taste of the hand.”

The two laughed at each other. Yuna looked at the two for a while before smiling. If
she was by herself, she would have never been able to do anything. These were
people who led her into the world of acting just by acting with her. She gained the
confidence that she would do well.

“I thought we’d take an hour at least, but 20 minutes was all it took. At this rate, we
might be able to reduce the number of shoots and save up some money for eating
out, you know?” Jayeon said as she walked over.

Yuna sighed in relief when Jayeon patted her like she had done a good job. It finally
felt like she had finished a cut.

“The start is good.”

The director’s voice made everyone feel pleased.

The first thing that people thought of when they thought of pojang-macha would be
the bustling noises from the customers. Going past that orange-colored curtain
would increase the noise level by at least double. It was a place where all the
emotions in life reverberated and where glasses hit each other with a clang. It was a
place of complete disinterest when it came to other people making noises. It might
feel desolate at first glance, but people still gained consolation from it.

Maru lightly brushed his hand over the fold-out table. This pojang-macha in the
middle of the set had less of that noise. Other than the time when a drunk customer
came by and complained about life to the owner, it would be very quiet. The people
that came here just sat down and ate udon and paid for their meals before going off
to wherever they had to go. It wasn’t like other pojang-machas where people
finished off the day by spending hours here; this place was a refuge where they could
rest their bodies and minds.

Maru picked up a boiled egg and looked in front of him at Ganghwan. He had turned
into the owner of a pojang-macha in just one day. After the cut ended, Ganghwan
kept making bowls of udon without rest and handed them to the staff when it was
supposed to be a break. It was 8 p.m. There was no better time to end their
starvation than now. Everyone in each department, from the youngest to the oldest
members, lined up outside the pojang-macha and received bowls. Ganghwan made
bowls of udon leisurely without looking like he was feeling rushed. He shook off the
moisture from the noodles and put them in some hot broth before he added some
spring onions, dried tofu, and dried fishcakes. His movements were very quick and
without any wasted movements. He looked like he had done it for a long time. Don’t
look down on a single man - he showed what he said through his actions.

Sometimes, there were people who approached the set from afar in confusion, and
they were mostly the previous customers of the pojang-macha. When they asked if
something happened, like there was something big happening, Ganghwan explained
the situation to them in kind. Although it was supposed to be done by a staff
member, Ganghwan drew the line, saying that it was his job. Ganghwan gave the
customers, who looked like they were rather disappointed after listening to the
circumstances, a bowl of udon They looked at Ganghwan with suspicion when they
received the bowls, but when they ate a little, they would raise their thumbs up. You
learned properly - these were their words.

“That was the agreement, so we can’t help it,” Jayeon said.

One of the conditions to rent this pojang-macha was to explain the situation to the
customers who came by and give them food. While it couldn’t be helped while they
were shooting, the pojang-macha’s owner told them that they must absolutely give
food to the customers who came during break time.

“You should watch while you eat. Also, there’s no shoot tomorrow, so you can come
by and be at ease.”

Ganghwan gave a bowl of udon to each of the two students that just arrived. They
were the students that Maru saw when he first came here. This place was probably
like the mill for the little sparrows they were.

After the untimely supper, they started preparing for the shoot again. Maru asked
Ganghwan, who was washing his hands,

“When did you learn all that? Your movements looked quite experienced.”

“I came here starting the day after Jayeon, no, our director said she rented this place.”

“Here?”

“Where else? I came here and helped out so that I could learn by watching. That
hyung-nim looks like a man among men on the outside, but he has an emotional side
to him. He especially said that the placing of the toppings must not be done wrong
several times. His wife said that he had an intricate personality, and man, I could nod
to that.”

“Then you came here frequently for weeks?”

“I came here every day. I told everyone I met that the shoot starts this month, but it
looks like the regulars who visit this place every now and then didn’t catch the
news.”

Now that he thought about it, Ganghwan did talk to the students like they were close.
He was wondering when they got so close, and this solved that question.
“Actors, please get ready,” said the assistant director while clapping.

Looking at the sky where the sun had completely set, producer Jayeon made a
satisfied smile.

Maru and Yuna got out of the pojang-macha. This time, Ganghwan had to act alone.
As soon as they finished cleaning up the surroundings, the shoot began. Maru flipped
his script over. Both the actors and the production staff would have an easier time
acting and editing if they shot in the order of the plot, but shooting environments
were always rather restricting. Even in just one episode, they had to skip back and
forth several times. If they were given more time, they would set the schedule
accordingly, but once they started running out of time, they had to go to the future,
then back to the past, and to the present again.

Right now, they were on scene 13 after having done scene 1. They had skipped over
the cuts that would show the everyday lives of the various characters so that they
could shoot all the scenes they had to shoot at the pojang-macha.

“Thank you for your job today too.”

Ganghwan was talking to a minor actor while chopping up some soondae. There
were five minor characters talking to each other in the pojang-macha. Jayeon was
smiling as she watched them. It seemed that she had taken a liking to the
atmosphere.

Maru called out to Yuna who was dazing out as she looked at Ganghwan’s acting.

“Yes, seonbae.”

“You know that it’s our scene next, right? It should become easier if you think about
the incidents leading up to that scene to get your emotions ready.”

Yuna nodded and opened her script. Her script was stained with highlighter pen ink.

“Should we go through the meeting part in scene 3?”

“Yes.”

Maru pictured a classroom in his mind. The surrounding noises became faint, and he
eventually felt like the classroom was real. It was the masked man helping him out.
The dark stage where he resided could be used in this way by changing the scenery.

He grabbed onto his consciousness which was floating among tens of thousands of
thoughts and put it next to the character known as ‘Park Haejoon’. His focused
consciousness started analyzing the character in depth. After tearing apart the
character from all facets, he classified the parts into hundreds of elements and
accepted them into his own body, practically imprisoning ‘Park Haejoon’ inside him.
Acting rationally while looking at the traits of the character lying below his
consciousness - this was the acting method specialized for Maru.

“How can you be so bold?” Maru spoke.

This was his first line said to ‘Yoon Jihae’, the character played by Yuna.

Park Haejoon was an average student. Number of family members, household

circumstances, academic achievements, hobbies, friends, dreams. After extracting a
mean or median value from every single one of them, they would represent ‘Park
Haejoon’. He acted righteously from time to time, preferred not to stand out, and
wanted to study well but liked playing games more. To him, who felt a sense of
kinship with the ‘average joe’ in textbooks, Yoon Jihae was a mystical being that lived
outside the fence of ordinariness.

Yoon Jihae was a firm girl. When the other people in the class boasted their brand-
name student uniforms, she boldly boasted her second-hand one, and she always
raised her hand to refuse when teachers asked who was willing to buy postage
stamps from the red cross or badges from NGOs as donations. To Park Haejoon, who
unwillingly took out his money because he didn’t want to stand out, that was
something very bold to do.

‘Maru’ knew her household circumstances, but Park Haejoon didn’t. That was why
his first line was that of admiration, envy, and respect.

“What do you mean?”

A rather gruffy reply came back. Maru, no, Park Haejoon thought of that cold answer
as an expression of confidence. Compared to him, who could never say something
like that in fear of ruining his relationships, she looked like a strong woman who
could survive in the world by herself.

“I mean, before, when we were buying badges.”

“What about it? Are you dissatisfied because I didn’t buy one?”

“No, it’s not like that.”

“What then? What do you want to say?”

“So uh… you look really bold.”

“Are you mocking me?”

The moment he saw Yuna’s face as she said those words, Maru felt that the
characters of Park Haejoon and Yoon Jihae that were within him were creaking a
little. Maru raised his hand. Yuna, who was about to follow up, blinked her eyes and
didn’t say anything.

“What is it, seonbae?”

“You’re doing well, but can you do that last line again?”

“The one where I ‘are you mocking me’?”

“Yeah.”

Yuna cleared her throat and said the line again. With a prickly tone of speech, her
lips curled up a little. It felt a bit like she was mocking him.

“What is it? Was I strange?”

“Before that, can I ask how you interpreted this? I mean, people have their own
ways.”

Yuna opened the script and spoke,

“I just said what I felt when I read this line.”

Maru nodded. There were no directions for the expression of emotions indicated by
the writer for that line. It just went according to the flow.

“Was it strange?”
“If you’re sure about it, then I don’t really have anything to say to you.”

“No, say it anyway. I have to learn a lot.”

Maru scratched his eyebrows and spoke,

“You know how when you see the other lines, the writer has indicated what
emotions to express and the circumstances, right?”

“Yes. At those times, I try to follow them.”

“There are times when you should change it according to the requests of the director,
but most of the time, it’ll go according to how the writer wrote it. The problem is
when such directions aren’t there. This is when the actors need to think about the
most. While the director is in charge of everything, she won’t instruct you on
everything. The director’s job is to bring out the best of each part after all. So in parts
like this one, the actor needs to decide how to say the lines and how to show them to
the director. If that process is smooth, the director would entrust the rest to the
actor, but if there’s a disparity, the two should start tuning it together.”

“Ah, yes.”

“I’m saying this again, but this is an extremely personal opinion of mine, and I’m not
telling you that your acting method is wrong, so just take it lightly. First, the
background of scene 3 is the classroom, right?”

“Yes. It’s when the two first talk to each other.”

“As you know from the script, episode 1 doesn’t portray the household
circumstances of the characters. But we know about it already. Park Haejoon is the
epitome of being average, while Yoon Jihae is someone who feels that poverty is
shameful and expresses herself as a vicious girl in order to hide it.”

Yuna flipped through the script and replied ‘yes’.

“If you say that line like how you did with just the information given in episode 1, I
would say that your interpretation is good. After all, these kinds of lines are usually
said with a mocking tone in a drama. It also suits the character of Yoon Jihae shown
on the surface. But you are already aware of what kind of life she leads at home. Do
you remember the script for episode 2? The scene where you hang up your call with
your friends, who asked you to go out with them, and then started crying by yourself.
Her personality might be bold on the surface, but don’t you think that Yoon Jihae is
actually extremely defensive and shy on the inside? If her exterior personality was
because of rebellious psychology or some sort of self-defense mechanism, then I
don’t think it’ll be a bad idea to say the line how you did.”

Maru looked at Yoon Jihae’s line. Would ‘mocking’ be the only thing in her mind
when Park Haejoon tells her that the shell she created for herself is cool and
amazing? Rather than that, a dry rage without any sort of mocking tone would suit
the line better. In order to prop up the collapsing true self, she had to put up an even
stronger barrier of falseness which would increase the intensity of the line instead.

“Are you mocking me?”

Maru said the line mixed with anger and wariness. He could see Yuna flinching back
a little. Maru loosened his expression and showed her the script.

“You see my line right afterwards, right?”

“Yes. Extremely flustered and apologetic, that’s what’s written above it.”

“If Yoon Jihae replied with a mocking tone, don’t you think that is overreacting?”

“That’s definitely true. Now that you mention it, cold rage might suit the flow better.”

“Of course, I might be wrong.”

“No, I’m sure you’re right. In the last part, the directions also say that Park Haejoon
wants to talk to her but he could not. He could not - this always tugged on my mind
and I feel like I finally understand why.”

Yuna’s eyes sparkled as she kept reading through the script. After she finished, she
nodded as she accepted.

“This is what you call attention to detail, right?”

“It’s just a difference of interpretation. I might be wrong about this, so don’t believe
in me too much.”

“We’ll find out when we act it out later. We’ll see which one the director likes better.
But in my opinion, I think what you said is close to the answer. Ah, and here I thought
I analyzed the script quite thoroughly. I was unable to connect other characters’ lines
to the stage directions. I guess they don’t give you the script to just look at it.”

Yuna snorted before taking out a pen.

“Uhm, seonbae, let me write things down for a little.”

“Take it slow. I think it’ll take a while for scene 13 to end.”

“Yes. Please wait a little.”

Yuna’s hands started moving busily.

Ganghwan liked acting. The first reason for that was it used the body, and the second
reason was that there was no correct answer. With acting, there might be a
standardized pattern, but there was never a fixed answer, allowing for all sorts of
challenges. He found the world of acting way too charming since even a
misinterpretation might be a trigger to view something from a different perspective.

A play had a script as well as a general direction, but the details were up to the
actors. During practice, actors would have to talk to others to tune their acting and to
exchange opinions, but once the play started, time would become solely their own.
Even if they made a mistake, the ‘producer’ couldn’t just interrupt halfway and tell
them that they did something wrong nor could their colleague actors ask the
audience for forgiveness and then try the same scene again. After the starting point,
there would only be the driving wheel with no access to the brakes.

“Cut!”

Ganghwan felt his heightened emotions collapsing at that sound. The background
actors sitting in front of him put down their bowls and sighed. The breaks had been
stepped on. This mechanism, which wasn’t present during a staged play, existed
during camera acting. It was also in the most authoritative and powerful form.

Once there was a ‘cut’, everything would stop even if the actors were at the epitome
of their emotions or were creating a great picture. The time when acting, which
solely belongs to the actors in a stage play, would be taken over by the producer,
which made Ganghwan feel extremely iffy.

“Why do you look so gruffy, hyung?”

“Dramas don’t suit me after all.”

“There you go again. You started already, so you can’t go back. There’s only going
forward.”

“Just let me keep going forward then. Stop cutting in midway.”

“If I don’t cut and keep going, who would do the editing, and who would come up
with the composition? Stop complaining and fix your makeup. Your hair is too down.
You should also get your cheeks touched up.”

“Sweating on the stage is supposed to be natural.”

“Unfortunately, this is not a stage.”

“Then give me thick makeup so that it doesn’t get wiped away with sweat.”

“If I do that on an HD broadcast, the forums will go into an uproar, you know? They’ll
ask if you’re an actor for a Beijing opera or something.”

“You just won’t lose a word, will you?”

“If I lose, it means that everything will become a mess. Get your makeup fixed and
get ready for the next cut.”

Ganghwan brought his face in front of the makeup artist. After a few brushes, he
returned to how he was during the beginning of the shoot. Ganghwan found the
quick makeup method rather desirable. He decided to ask later.

The shoot resumed. Ganghwan spoke to the girl sitting on the left,

“Did the assistant director instruct you on anything before the start?”

“He told us to eat naturally.”

The others said the same.

“If that’s the case, you should look at each other when you eat. You all are very pretty
and handsome. You should exchange numbers too. What do you think?”

Hearing that, the background actors who were supposed to be a couple became
slightly embarrassed as they looked at each other. They smiled awkwardly.
Ganghwan liked how they looked. At least for this moment, the expression those two
showed looked really natural. He gave some advice to the others as well.

“Let’s enjoy ourselves.”

“Yes, okay.”

Just then, they got a signal from the director.

The following cut was given an okay after just two shots. Ganghwan thanked the
background actors for the job.

“We’ll take a 10 minute break,” the assistant director shouted.

Ganghwan sat down inside the pojang-macha. It would be better if his role required
him to move around, but since he had to stand still throughout the whole shoot, his
calves were hurting.

“Why don’t you quit stage plays and continue with dramas since you’re here? I’ll
definitely use you if I manage to win a mini-series or something.”

“You can do that all you want. I don’t think dramas suit me after all. There’s no sense
of tension here.”

“Do you want me to bring an audience then? So that you feel like you’re being
watched?”

“Will you?”

Jayeon shrugged. It was an absurd notion, so Ganghwan didn’t expect anything

either.

“What do you think about those two?”

Jayeon pointed at Maru and Yuna with her chin.

“For Maru, I find him reliable since I’ve been watching him for a long time, but as for
Yuna, I’m not too sure. What did you see in her that made you choose her?”

“The fact that she can become endlessly honest with herself. Also, a bit of acting
skill.”

“That was your criteria? Aren’t you being too lenient because it’s your debut piece?”

“Hyung, don’t you know me? You know I despise being lenient. I actually thought
about it until the end. I thought about who would fit this drama better. Actually, I
didn’t pick Maru based on acting skills alone. I liked his attention to detail and his
quick adaptation to the system. That’s why I gave him high marks.”

Ganghwan nodded. Jayeon was someone who prioritized cooperation ever since she
was in college. She preferred team members who were slow but could walk together
with the others towards the goal rather than those who were individually very good
but couldn’t fit in with the rest. Of course, it wasn’t that she didn’t value their skills
entirely either. She would just prefer someone with better teamwork if two people
were around the same level.

“Yuna is definitely rather subpar when it comes to acting skills alone. But, she’s only
in her first year of high school. It’d be rather strange to look for perfection.”

“But she made quite a lot of mistakes though.”

“That’s true. Compared to everyone else here, she’s quite lacking in terms of acting.
I’m not that worried though.”

“Why?”

“I told you, Yuna is a very honest girl. I’m not sure what she was like before, but Yuna
is someone who is true to her desires right now. While she sometimes tries to hide
herself because of the gazes around her and holds herself back due to etiquette,
fundamentally, she doesn’t hold back when it comes to projecting her emotions.”

“To me, she just looked like a shy little girl.”

“That’s because you weren’t there at the audition. Yuna doesn’t ignore her own
emotions. Normally, when people are told that they’re bad, they would despair or
snapback saying that it’s not true, but when it comes to Yuna, while she might feel
frustrated at the fact that her skills aren’t up to par, she would not blame herself or
others because of that. In fact, she asks this: what can I do to improve myself?”

“Really? She is someone with ambition.”

“Yes, hyung. She’s ambitious. I could see that she was longing for something. That’s
why I brought her here. Honestly speaking, I think that the acting skills of minors are
all so-so at best. If that’s the case, the things I have to look for are how they can fit in
with the rest of the team and how much they can improve themselves throughout
the shoot.”

Ganghwan nodded. It sounded like something like Jayeon would think. However,
there was one thing she was wrong about. This was something he had to mention.

“If you still think that minors are all so-so at best, then you should scrap that
mindset right now.”

He stood up and looked at Maru, who was standing afar.

***

Jayeon looked at the monitor with her breath abated. She could see Yuna’s face over
Maru’s shoulders. Yuna, who was hesitating with chopsticks in her hand, slowly
started speaking. Jayeon thought that she looked pretty okay and listened to the
voice she could hear through the monitors.

“Poverty is a sin. I’m sure of it.”

She could see Yuna’s firm eyes losing strength. Yuna’s loose eyes were captured on
camera. Jayeon tapped on her thigh with her finger. It was slightly lacking, but she
decided to keep watching for now.

“It’s not entirely like that.”

That was Maru’s voice. Even though she couldn’t see his face, the emotions contained
in his voice were very good.

Having heard that, Yuna became quiet and looked towards the udon. About 3
seconds later, Jayeon shouted cut. While the progress was smooth, she found the
depth of emotions to be a little lacking. She felt like one more step would scatter a
depressing light all over the screen.

“Uhm, you know.”

Before she could say anything though, Yuna raised her hand as though she was in a
classroom. Jayeon looked at her in confusion.

“Can I do that in a different way this time?” Yuna asked.

She seemed filled with the desire to challenge. Jayeon looked at her for a while
before looking at Maru, who stood next to her. He was smiling as though it was okay
for her to trust Yuna.

“Alright. If there’s something you thought of doing, then try it out. We still have time.”

Jayeon returned to the monitor. She decided to keep the footage they shot just now.
Tapes that were totally unusable or had an NG in them usually wouldn’t be
numbered, but if it was decent, it would be kept for editing purposes. If the shooting
schedule was strict, she would be satisfied with the footage she got just now, but
they had some leisure. Moreover, an enthusiastic actress wanted to do something. As
a director, she couldn’t ignore that passion.

She shouted cue and looked at the screen. This was scene 13, where the two high
schoolers started taking interest in each other and telling each other about how they
truly felt. The meeting between the ever-average boy and the girl who had lots of ups
and downs in life would give the viewers a sense of expectation. Whether they could
overcome the difference in opinion and into love or go their separate ways. In order
to heighten that sense of expectation, their natures had to be shown in full in this
scene. Viewers projected themselves onto attractive characters, not nobodies who
just walked on the street.

Jayeon rested her chin on her hands and focused on the monitor. The order of
progression was similar to before. There was no difference in how she brought out
her emotions either. She wondered where Yuna would show that change. After
watching for a while, Jayeon stopped breathing. Yuna’s expression crumpled
miserably. She could feel the emotions strongly even when she was just looking at
the monitor.

Too exaggerated - that was the first thought she had. Yuna’s acting was definitely fit
to be called ‘exaggerated’. Usually, she would cut this off and start again, but for some
reason, she couldn’t say anything.

It was exaggerated yet attractive. Yuna exuded the feeling of ‘look at me’, which made
her unable to find the exaggerated acting bad.

Jayeon stayed quiet for five seconds before shouting cut. She stood up and walked
over to the pojang-macha.
“How was it?” Yuna asked.

Even though her act had ended, Jayeon could feel a sense of sadness and rage from
Yuna. She looked like she was deeply immersed in the sea of acting.

“Did you two go through that together?” Jayeon asked Maru.

Maru nodded. Jayeon looked towards Ganghwan. She needed an expert’s opinion.

“While it was exaggerated, it was something that made me want to keep watching. At
least, I didn’t think about anything else while watching.”

That confirmed it. Jayeon had to think about it. After all, she was asking for his
opinion, not judgment.

“Let’s finish up for now.”

“Shall we keep going like this?”

“Yeah, go on.”

Jayeon said with a smile.

“Does she mean that she’s satisfied when the director said we should go on?” Yuna
asked.

She had the confidence that it would work, but now that she actually finished acting,
she was very worried. In the first shot, she stayed true to the script, but in the
second shot, she mixed in her own interpretations. Naturally, the first one contained
her interpretations as well, but it was much fainter compared to the second one.

“Rather than satisfied, I think she means that she’ll watch how it goes,” Ganghwan
said.

Maru nodded. It wasn’t a ‘pass’ quite yet.

“But still, well done,” Maru consoled her.

Yuna scratched her head. Whenever she was complimented by Maru, she felt relaxed.
She couldn’t help but think about his words more than the director’s. Ever since she
heard that he wasn’t contacting Gaeul-seonbae, a greed that should not raise its head
up kept poking its head up within her. No, no - she kept shouting inwardly several
times, but when she came to, she would have written a novel in her head. A sweet
and romantic one, that is.

“It’s exaggerated, but it doesn’t look overdone. I’m not sure if we should polish this
or not,” Ganghwan said.

“Is there really a need to? Since the director said that she would keep watching us, I
don’t think it’s entirely off the mark.”

“If it’s for play, I won’t be too sure, but this is a drama, isn’t it? I honestly don’t get
whether this goes with the latest trends or not. I mean, what do I know about
dramas? If the director says it’s okay, then I guess it’s okay.”

Ganghwan prepared for the next cut while washing his hands.

Yuna also tapped on her cheeks and focused. There were two things she learned
from the read-through with Maru. The first was that she had to have a clear
understanding of the structure of the script and the relationship between each
character. The second was to not be afraid of expressing emotions. ‘If you can use
your personality, then you should’ - she thought about what he said.

The assistant director gave the standby signal. After becoming conscious of the new
placement of the camera, Yuna started acting. She did not restrain the emotions
surging inside her and impulsively let them all out. Yuna found a common ground
between Yoon Jihae, who had found a clue for change, as well as Kim Yuna, who had
feelings for Han Maru and scattered them without restraint.

“On weekends, I have to go to part-time jobs. Do you think it’s any different on
weekdays? I have to keep working even at home. I don’t even have time to do
homework. But that’s not the case for you, is it? You have it easy, yet how can you say
that poverty is not a sin in front of me? You don’t even know what it’s like.”

It felt rather curious. Even though she was acting, it didn’t feel like she was acting.
The percentage of falseness in her lines was less than 1 percent. She projected her
emotions through the frame known as acting. She truly felt angry and then sad. Yuna
felt her nose tingling. She felt like she was about to cry, so she turned her head away
to look at the pile of boiled eggs. She was in a state of acting yet not acting. She felt
really complex and simultaneously, a sense of liberation. It was thanks to
remembering the script that made her turn back around while holding back her
tears.

She heard a cut sound. That became the trigger for the teardrops in the corner of her
eyes to fall.

“What do I do? I’m so sorry, I didn’t plan on doing this.”

Her acting was over, but her emotions continued. Yuna urgently wiped the corner of
her eyes with some tissue.

“Yuna.”

Jayeon had approached her.

“Yes?”

“Are you going to be okay with that?”

“With what?”

“I mean the current situation. Isn’t it hard?”

“I don’t think there’s anything like that. Please give me a second.”

Yuna sighed while trembling before raising her head. The emotions finally died
down.

“The emotional consumption in that must have been immense. Are you really okay?”
Jayeon seemed concerned.

Yuna nodded energetically.

“I don’t feel bad at all. In fact, I feel refreshed.”

She wasn’t lying. When the lingering emotions disappeared, she felt refreshed as
though she felt a breeze of wind after a light jog. There was no residue left at all from
the sadness. Jayeon looked at her for a while before speaking,

“How peculiar. Is being honest an advantage at times like this?”

“Eh?”

“Nothing. If you’re okay, then you should keep doing that in the future. When I first
looked at you, I thought you were exaggerating, but if you can fit all of your acting on
this level, you will create a solid character for yourself and it would look more
natural instead.”

“Should I keep going like this then?”

“Yes, well done.”

The words ‘well done’ made her sigh in relief. She felt proud as though she had
received a good mark on a subject that she didn’t prepare that much for. Perhaps
luck was on her side.

“There is no correct answer to acting. However, if you think that something isn’t right
while acting, you should definitely say so immediately. Emotions aren’t like visible
wounds, so only you would know whether you’re hurt or not,” Ganghwan said.
“Yes!”

Yuna replied in joy.

‘Only I know it.’

This seemed like very important advice. Yuna relaxed her shoulders and checked on
her own state. She learned from her acting school that actors needed to be able to
check on their current state. She was told that she should observe not just the
physical things, but the mental things as well. Thanks to that, Yuna was able to see
whether she was in a good state or not quite clearly. And, according to her judgment,
the current state of her mind and body were above average.

If spending too much emotion was a problem, then she should have been very
emotionally tired right now, but for some reason, she felt better than normal. She felt
like she had just expelled a bunch of clumped emotions, so she even wanted to
maintain this current state. Her shoulders, which felt heavy from fear and pressure,
no longer felt that way either. The gazes of the staff felt very distant as well. While
her heart was excited, it didn’t go overboard, and she was in a state where a
moderate amount of tension was perfectly mixed with the joy of working.

She liked acting. No, she liked acting together. Yuna looked at Maru’s face for a
moment before staring holes into her script.

***

Ganghwan leaned against the wall and looked at the two kids acting. Maru was his
senior when it came to acting in front of a camera at least, while Yuna had never even
done a part-time job as a background actor. In terms of skill and experience, the two
had a lot of differences, making him suspect that the disparity would show, but right
now, he was watching the two juniors with a relaxed mind.

Maru’s acting had become much more intricate than before. If he acted like a
machine doing a specific task, then he would have given the judgment that he had
regressed, but his act, which maintained a standardized form but still had his nature
dissolved in with it, had definitely improved compared to before. Above all, he liked
the fact that Maru’s act had become closer to that of his own age. A long time ago,
Maru’s act showed an incredible display of familiarity with a middle-aged man to the
point that Ganghwan wondered if he was possessed.
This was especially the case when Maru helped out with his play two years ago. The
bus driver act he showed back then gave Ganghwan the feeling that a real bus driver
was borrowing Maru’s mouth to tell his own stories. His act was abnormally mature.
While people said that exceptional actors could show an act that transcended age,
the fact that a teenage boy could display the emotions of a man who was halfway
through his life without any sense of awkwardness was something that made him
feel worried rather than surprised.

Right now, however, Maru had lost the weight that he had before, and he had gained
the cheerfulness and passion befitting his age. A mature act was definitely good, but
as appearances were definitely an element of concern for actors, an act that suited
one’s age was definitely necessary, and the current Maru had a perfect balance of
appearance and age. While there was still a sense of maturity to him, it was just
enough to make the whole thing look stable. His eyes, which looked at the very
foundation of an object, combined with his not so exceptional but realistic
expressivity showed a great combination, heightening the quality of his acts.
Ganghwan really looked forward to what Maru would become in one year and in ten
years.

Then there was Yuna. She became more and more interesting the more he watched
her. Ganghwan believed that there existed a total quantity to emotions. He believed
that the fact that humans couldn’t be limitlessly happy nor limitlessly sad was due to
the fact that there was a limit to how much emotion a person could possess.

Actors were fundamentally emotional laborers. They had to be sad when they
weren’t sad, and they had to be happy when they weren’t happy. They also had to be
able to do so whenever and wherever they had to. Expressing emotions at just the
right time would maximize emotional consumption. Ganghwan also spent his life
lying down in stillness at home once he finished a very dynamic play. When he
recovered some stamina he would start watching dramas, movies, or reading books.
Only after checking that he would cry at the sad things and laugh at the funny things
would he feel that his twisted inner emotions were healing.

If an actor brought out emotions without end, the well would dry up quickly and the
actor would become an empty can, no longer able to do anything. Ganghwan had
seen numerous people who have given up on this job because they spent more
emotions than they could recover. It was a well-known fact even to ordinary civilians
that actors frequently visited psychotherapists, so he thought that emotions should
not be pushed out so recklessly.
Yet Yuna seemed different. The backlash of spending her emotions seemed especially
little for her. She was someone who exuded an incredible amount of emotion to the
point that she couldn’t hold them back even after the director gave a cut sign, yet
with a bit of time, she would no longer look tired and would instead smile as though
she was feeling refreshed. There was no lie in her smile. This was amazing. It was
definitely outside of what Ganghwan considered to be common sense at least.

A girl who’s endlessly honest to herself - Ganghwan thought about what Jayeon said.
Emotions that were brought out artificially by the actor would clash against the
actor’s true emotions and erode away at their mentality. However, if someone could
easily synchronize their real emotions to the artificial emotions, that fatigue would
be relatively low.

Ganghwan looked at Yuna. She was huffing as though she was very angry. As she had
a cute appearance, she didn’t look that scary, but her rage was something unrefined.
It lingered for a long time because the anger was truly there. However, once those
lingering emotions disappeared, Yuna would soon return to her usual, smiling self. It
looked as though her emotional expenditure had been refilled instantly.

On one side was a boy who dug into the extreme depths into not just himself, but the
characters as well, and on the other side was a girl who emphasized the character
with pure, visible emotions.

What a nice pairing - Ganghwan inwardly muttered to himself as he nodded.

“I think you should press it down a little. Everything was good, but that was just a
little lacking.”

“Then I’ll try changing it just a little.”

It was probably thanks to Maru that Yuna’s emotions weren’t bursting out
uncontrollably and were at the level of being just a little too much. His quick thinking
had reached a level where he could influence other people’s acting. This would be a
useless skill against those much higher than him in acting skill, but for the current
Yuna, it would be akin to treasure.

“There’s also the fact that her heart is open too.”

It was obvious just how much Yuna had opened up her heart to Maru from how she
accepted Maru’s words without any doubts. There was probably more than just
‘goodwill’ in her emotions. Perhaps it was the synergy of all these elements and
working with someone in the same space that allowed Yuna to bring out her full
potential. If there was someone else in the place of Maru, Yuna might overdo it with
her emotions.

Jayeon said that she valued Maru’s analytical skills and calmness and Yuna’s honesty.
While her decision of not prioritizing acting skills was a big gamble, from the results
that could be seen now… she had hit the jackpot.

“Senior, do you have anything to say?” Yuna asked while taking a break.

Ganghwan shook his head.

“No, you’re doing good. Maru, you should try to be more like her.”

Maru, who was flipping through his script on the side, frowned and spoke,

“Why do I feel a sense of defeat when I hear that from you, hyung-nim?”

“Because I’m good, and you’re not.”

“Man, I miss Geunsoo hyung-nim.”

“You know, he and I aren’t that different when it comes to being a lunatic.”

“But at least he doesn’t boast like you do.”

Maru chuckled. Ganghwan also agreed, saying ‘that’s true’, with a smile.
“That’s not what I mean.”

“Then what do you mean?”

“I-I just wanted to tell you that you are amazing. I definitely didn’t plan on mocking
you.”

“But it sounded like you were mocking me.”

Yuna’s eyes looked like they were spitting out fire. Maru raised his concentration.
The wave of emotions that Yuna showed was not the shallow one that started off
near the beaches, but a giant one that started in the deep sea. If he got swept up, he
would lose his balance and would become busy trying to pour out his acts in a busy
manner. In order to not let that happen, Maru had to adjust the speed himself. Since
she changed her way of acting on such short notice, Yuna probably couldn’t control
herself fully. He had to provide her with a guideline to lead her bloated emotions
down the right path. He prioritized that for the moment.

He slowly guided her with the experience he had gained from coaching his juniors at
the acting club, but as Yuna’s pure breadth of emotions was too wide, Maru’s own
mental consumption was considerable as well.

He had to control his own acting while observing himself through an objective eye,
and at the same time, he had to watch out for Yuna’s expressions and body language
in order to decide on the overall pacing of the scene.

-I think we should bring her out a little more here.

The masked man had spoken. Maru quickly checked if the masked man’s advice was
suitable or not before taking action. The times when he didn’t have a line and used
just his emotions to act was the time he discussed with the masked man. Controlling
himself perfectly consumed too much energy, and it was impossible to look after
Yuna as well with just his own power. In that sense, the masked man’s advice was
precise and clear. Maru thought that he was above him in the facet of acting by
several levels.
-To put it simply, this lady has a really deep well. If given the opportunity, she might
be able to cry all day or laugh all day. Of course, she’s a person as well, so she should
eventually tire herself out, but as long as she is given enough rest from time to time,
she will recover incredibly quickly. People’s talents are really different and come in
all sorts of forms. It’s just a matter of whether they can discover it and use it
properly.

Maru agreed with those words. If he himself acted like Yuna did, he would have a
hard time digesting just one scene. Maximizing one’s emotions all the time wasn’t
something easy. Even athletes with the biggest lung capacity were bound to run out
of energy if they kept sprinting, yet Yuna kept running like a person with three or
four lungs. As envious as Maru was, he didn’t long for such a talent. It was a talent
that did not suit his acting methods. Yuna probably didn’t take any damage to her
own emotions, even if she amplified the emotions of the character like a balloon,
because she was someone who could be extremely honest with herself. That was
something he couldn’t imitate, so there was no need to be greedy for something like
that.

“I didn’t… mean to mock you.”

He split up his line so that Yuna could find the right speed. While Yuna acted like an
onrush of waves, she wasn’t just spending emotions without reason. She was quick
to catch on when Maru gave her the hints. Yuna took a breather before continuing
her line.

“Okay, fine. I get it.”

Yuna started taking back the overflowing emotions. It was at that time that
Ganghwan gave them a bowl of udon to continue the situation. Maru was inwardly
very impressed. Ganghwan, who received the act at just the right time, when the
emotional depth was just the right, was definitely one of the best actors.

“It’s hot, so be careful.”

“Thank you,” Maru said first.

Following the script, Yuna spoke a moment later. A script would never indicate when
to speak or take action. Hurriedly, urgently, leisurely, slowly - words like these that
indicated the speed would show up from time to time, but it was up to the actor to
decide how long he or she should take to do one line or one action. Even a simple
conversation would feel incredibly different according to how much time they put in
between the lines. Ganghwan went over to the next act before Yuna sidetracked. If he
was just a little quicker, Yuna would have stood out from the scene with her remnant
emotions, and if he was too late, it would have been awkward and the director would
have jumped in.

“Thank you,” Yuna replied as she looked at the bowl of udon.

Ever since she no longer restrained her emotions and instead started to project
them, her expressions became really plentiful. Even now, her face melted down from
a frosty one to a faintly happy one. Maru made a faint smile. While it was the smile
belonging to the ‘Park Haejoon’ in the story, it was also ‘Han Maru’s’ honest emotions
towards the junior that followed without getting tired.

“Cut, okay! Let’s flip the camera around and do that one again. The mood is good, so
please hurry up.”

Jayeon’s voice could be heard. Yuna put down her chopsticks while relaxing her
shoulders.

“Is it hard?” Maru asked.

She nodded.

“I think this is the first time I’ve been so focused. I’m even more nervous than when I
was doing a play.”

“There are a lot of eyes on us. The camera lens especially exudes quite a big
pressure.”

“Yeah. I feel really iffy because it feels like a giant eye is staring at me, and I can’t
entirely be unconscious of it either.”

“I feel like my soul is being sucked out too,” Ganghwan said as he sat down on the
plastic chair. While he was someone who was used to people’s eyes on him, it
seemed that the stiff ‘gaze’ of the camera was something he had not gotten used to
yet.

“You should cause some NGs. I want to rest a little too,” Ganghwan said while
stretching his arms out.

Maru looked at the camera which was now placed on his right. As this scene was
going to be taken from the side, Ganghwan wouldn’t be in the scene.

“If you’re ready, let’s start right away.”

Jayeon clapped and asked everyone to move quickly. It seemed that she didn’t want
the atmosphere to relax. Maru took a glance at the camera director standing next to
him before he immersed himself in acting. He got his emotions together and
reminded himself of the nature of the character that he analyzed and grabbed the
bowl with both of his hands. There was no need to say that he was ready. Jayeon was
very good at discerning the state of the actors.

“Three, two, one… cue.”

Maru picked up his chopsticks and ate some noodles. As he pushed the udon into his
mouth with slightly hurried movements, he looked towards the side. Yuna, who was
not in the camera angle, was using her chopsticks on an empty bowl. She was
probably practicing in order to help him out.

He met eyes with Yuna as well as Ganghwan who was yawning right in front of him.
This was the difference between acting in front of a camera and acting on a stage. In
a play, all the actors would have their concentration up at every moment while they
were on the limited space known as the stage, but in front of a camera, there were
cases where only the actor in the camera frame was focusing on acting.

It would be a lot easier for the actors if the other actors around them set the mood
up for them, but continuously doing that was practically impossible. While plays had
a limited run time of one or two hours, the same wasn’t true for dramas. A drama
shoot would continue late into the night if they couldn’t digest their full schedule.
Not to mention the staff, the actors had to save up energy, so actors who weren’t
even in the camera frame could not possibly act with passion. They had to do their
own acting regardless of whether the others were yawning or using chopsticks in
empty air.

Before tasting the sweetness of first love, what would Park Haejoon’s state be like?
Among the core elements that made up Park Haejoon, Maru brought out
‘nervousness’ and ‘worry’. By nature, the character known as Park Haejoon could not
be enthusiastic towards women even if it was a girl from his class. What would he
feel when he looked at a classmate acting really cold towards him? It definitely
wouldn’t be something like pity. Park Haejoon was an awkward boy who couldn’t
even go that far.

A sense of excitement towards the unknown as well as a bit of admiration. It was

probably at that level for now. As the word love was unfamiliar to him, he would
always act cautious and be ready to run away at any time, but in a corner of his heart,
he would have tiny hopes while continuing to just eat the udon quietly without
stopping the distance from getting further.

His brain reached the conclusion of the analysis instantly. The masked man talked to
him, saying that he wanted to fall deep into the character, but Maru had no plans on
letting the man take over. What he needed right now was a variety of experiences. It
would be better if it was a first-hand experience as well. He would toss the baton
over if he was in a situation that he couldn’t solve himself, but until then, he planned
to have full control.

The more characters he experienced and the more acting patterns he gained, the
easier it would become for him to combine various different elements to come up
with something new. Even trivial acting was precious data. If he could engrave his
actions into his mind, he would become even better when he came across a situation
where he played a similar character.

He picked up his bowl and drank the broth. The camera standing two meters away
from him caught his eyes, but his consciousness erased the camera calmly. In a state
of complete self-understanding, he even had the space around him under the domain
of his consciousness. It felt like the ‘camera’ that looked at Han Maru, the individual,
had fallen back to capture everything around. The objects in his vision didn’t
disappear into the depths of short-term memory but remained in his mind as though
he had memorized them. This increased his fatigue, but it definitely helped him out
with the details.

The moment he put down the bowl, Maru heaved out a deep breath. He had put a
surprising amount of focus into that act. He felt like the stage where the masked man
was, had popped out into real life. He gained the strange confidence that he would be
able to do anything in this space. If given enough time, he might be able to find out
what his partnering actor would want him to do.
This would be useless when he acted by himself, but if synchronization with the
partner was important, he felt like he could get some use out of it. If he could discern
the partnering actor’s advantages and disadvantages and then adapt real-time, he
himself would become better as well. Not to mention, he would be able to go home
early.

“Seonbae, are you hot?” Yuna asked as she gave him some napkins.

Maru accepted the napkins and wiped his forehead. He had sweated quite a bit.

“It’s not that hot. Yuna, is my makeup okay?”

“Yes. Nothing smudged.”

Maru shook his hair off slightly before picking up his script. He compared the things
he wrote down about the character beforehand as well as the things he felt while
acting and started tuning it. The character kept generating new information as he
continued acting with the other actors. Although the character had a set frame
thanks to the script and the scenario, they were never static. If the actors became
lazy and took their eyes off the character, they would eventually find themselves in a
situation where they were the ones acting, but also the ones finding themselves to be
awkward. The reason even the best actors sometimes got caught up in an ‘unskilled
actor’ controversy was not because they lacked skill, but because they had become
complacent after getting used to the character.

In order to not make such mistakes, actors could not relax their tension. The only
time they could let their guards down and rest is at the end-of-series party.

But where did he hear about all this? Maru found the thoughts that came to his mind
curious. These thoughts were something he had never learned or heard of before,
but they still naturally came to his mind as though he had learned them already.

Maru sought the masked man.

Did the masked man tell him that while he wasn’t conscious of it?

The masked man did not answer. Instead, there was laughter that sounded like air
escaping a vent. To Maru, the laughter seemed to contain a vow to never have hopes
again.
Koo Ando was the president of the film production club. Last year, the film
production club was closer to being a film appreciation club, but ever since Kang
Sora entered as a new member, they changed lanes. The scene of the members eating
snacks in the clubroom had disappeared, and they were now a club where they
passionately put their efforts into creating a film even over the weekend.

It was a little bit of a pity that he could no longer see the cozy film production club of
before, but he didn’t regret it because seeing the film production club trying their
best to make a film wasn’t so bad. The clubroom had become a lot more bustling
than before, and their activity was at an all-time high. The club was colored in a
different color from before, and it would become a magnificent memory for the
members in the future.

At least that was what he thought until this morning. He smiled in satisfaction as he
looked at the photo that they shot with everyone in it on the last day of shooting
‘Classroom’. He thought that the experience was really fun and worthwhile.

“Seonbae. I don’t think this is right.”

Ando felt his lips twitching. This junior had barged into his house at 10 a.m. in the
morning on a Sunday and had managed to buy his parents’ goodwill with her smile.
He could see the members of the film production club and some of the acting club
smiling on his phone screen. To hell with good memories. It had only been two
months, but his brain had already started beautifying those events. He remembered
the hard times when he had been pushed around here and there and had no days to
rest because of the tight schedule that the film director had set up. It wasn’t that he
was dissatisfied with everything. There definitely were moments of glee, happiness,
and pride. The problem was that 80% of the time, it was exhausting.

“Are these all the clothes you have?”

His brain, which had been slowly beautifying those moments, was currently
reminding him of the pains and was shouting at him to get out of this place as soon
as possible. Ando glanced at the door. This was his room, and he didn’t know why he
couldn’t act, but he felt like he would feel really happy if he could leave this place.

Just then, the door opened 3 seconds after a knocking sound. The one who opened
the door was his mother. Ando blinked in confusion. His mother, who had never
learned to knock during his lifetime, had quietly knocked and even took out the
pretty plates that she never used and had placed them at the top of the cupboard to
bring some fruits and snacks.

“Ma’am, you don’t have to do this.”

Sora, who was just going hard on him about how he didn’t have any decent clothes to
wear to the award ceremony, had changed her personality and approached his
mother. It was that smile. It was that evil smile that made his mother say ‘what a
polite girl’ and ‘you should come over more frequently’ within 3 minutes even
though a complete stranger had barged in on a Sunday at 10 a.m. This junior
shouldn’t have played the role of the director. She should have been an actress. Her
act could probably sweep all the acting awards out there.

“Sora, was it?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Is it true that my child is getting an award?”

“Of course. Ando-seonbae was the camera director.”

“Director?”

“Yes. It’s not a small prize that the school gives you; it is something that’s given by
Seoul’s City Hall itself. And the grand prize that we’re getting is something that is
given after a decision made by experts in many different areas so it has a completely
different meaning.”

“That’s amazing.”

“It is. If it wasn’t for him, we wouldn’t have been able to get the grand prize. He really
worked hard after all. Other people were impressed by his efforts and did their best
too.”

Ando felt rather queasy about his mother’s eyes. She was clasping her hands and
nodding as though she had finally realized her son’s true worth. He couldn’t possibly
say that he did everything on the girl’s orders and that everything she was saying
was an exaggeration. The only thing he could do was to avoid her gaze with an
awkward smile on his face.

“I was wondering what was happening when he kept coming back from school late at
night. So he was shooting a film.”

“Didn’t he tell you about it?”

“Do you think boys would tell me things like that? Before, he would tell me about
bugs he saw at school in excitement too.”

“That just goes to show that he grew up and became a man. I mean, he’s quite
reliable, isn’t he? You must feel proud.”

There had to be someplace to hide in his house… If possible, Ando wanted to break
the window next to his bed like a scene from an espionage movie and leave this
place. If his house was not on the 5th floor, and if his window didn’t have anti-theft
fences, he might have tried.

“Then take your time here.”

“I want to do that too, but today’s the award ceremony.”

“Ah, right. You said you were here to pick him up. Sora, please take care of our boy.”

“Of course, ma’am. In fact, he would take care of me. His leadership is outstanding.”

Leadership, he had heard that word used to describe him for the first time in his life
today. Ando lowered his head as he listened to the mysterious ‘Mr. Koo Ando’ that
was being created by the mouths of the two women. Given more time, they might
even talk about how Koo Ando created heaven and earth. This girl was more than
capable of doing that.

Finally, the door closed. It was a short time that wasn’t even 10 minutes long, but
Ando felt exhausted. He remembered when he forgot to hang out his clothes to dry
for a night and when he opened the washing machine the next day. He felt like his
current state was a little like the crumpled clothes inside it.
“We’re going to take a photo too when we’re there, you know?”

“I can just wear this.”

Ando pointed at the t-shirt that he frequently wore to school.

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because getting a photo taken while wearing a horribly stretched-out t-shirt is bad.
I guess I can’t help it. Let’s go for now.”

Sora folded the clothes that had been taken out.

“What about the clothes?”

“We will buy them outside.”

“Right now?”

“Why do you think I came here so early? The award ceremony is at 2, so we still have
time. We should go to a clothing store and get some clothes before meeting up with
Maru-seonbae.”

Who’s paying for it? - before he could even say those words, he saw Sora take out a
credit card.

“Interest-free installment over 5 months. You can pay me back in February, when you
graduate.”

Ando reached out and grabbed his t-shirt.

“I’m just going to wear this.”

However, it was a meaningless resistance. He lost strength in his hands even though
all Sora did was stare at him. Ando sighed and stood up.

“Get yourself together, camera director,” Sora said as she opened the door.
 ***

Maru looked at his watch. It was 2 minutes past 12. It was the time of the
appointment. He looked at the ticket barrier as he grabbed a fish cake skewer in a
store inside Yeongdeungpo station. If they were coming from Suwon, they should
come out from there.

We’ll be visiting some shops before we meet up with you - these were Sora’s words
from when she called. Before he could ask what that was about, he could hear Ando’s
stretched-out voice. Maru could picture what happened so he hung up without
asking for details.

“Maru-seonbae!”

He saw Sora waving her hand as she walked out of the ticket barrier. Behind her was
Ando wearing neat clothes. He always wore a t-shirt and khaki-colored pants, but he
was wearing gray-toned clothes today. He had also waxed his hair.

“I knew I didn’t need to worry about you.”

Sora scanned him from top to bottom in satisfaction. He took out a suit that he
bought before when he heard that he was going to an award ceremony, but he
instead decided to wear a plain cardigan that looked okay to be worn in autumn
since the suit looked a little too un-student-like. He did have a sweater he liked, but
the weather was still too warm to wear that.

“Koo Ando, you’ve become handsome,” Maru said.

The gray shirt suited him because he was skinny. Ando rubbed his eyebrows and
spoke,

“I can’t get used to this. Also, do I really need to do up all the buttons?”

He was used to wearing baggy t-shirts, so it seemed that a shirt that fit him tightly
was too awkward for him. He kept touching his face as he looked at the mirror in the
restaurant, and he even touched his hair from time to time, but whenever he did
that, Sora scolded him to stay still. She looked like a big sister taking care of an
immature little brother.

“Why don’t we have lunch and take it slow?” Sora said.

They left the station and followed Sora. She had no hesitation as though she had
done her research beforehand. The place they arrived at was a well-known rice
noodle restaurant.

“Both of you said you were okay with it the last time I asked, right?”

Maru nodded. He remembered how Sora asked him about this in passing. She really
cared about the details as always.

They sat at a table and ordered some dishes.

“Maru-seonbae, I heard that you were shooting another drama these days, right?”
Sora asked.

“It’s a mini-series. I was lucky enough to get into it.”

“You must be busy then. Don’t you have a shoot today?”

“Fortunately, there isn’t one today. Also, Ando, give it up now. If you mess up your
hair, Sora will nag you about it for the rest of the day.”

Ando, who was touching his hair carefully, looked at Sora with blank eyes. Sora
nodded. Ando made a bitter smile and placed his hand obediently on the table.

“I said it suits you.”

“I find it strange.”

“You should make yourself look good, you know? We live in an era where men wear
makeup.”

“For celebrities, maybe. Hey, Han Maru, were you interested in things like fashion
before you were an actor?”

Maru shook his head at Ando’s question. He lightly ignored Ando’s plea to side with
him.

“Don’t regret it when you go to college and learn from her right now. You’ll thank her
one day.”
“College is college. If I think about how six months of my salary was spent on this, I
feel really sad,” Ando said as he grabbed his shirt.

Not long later, they got their food. As Maru had a lot of udon while shooting the mini-
series, he groaned slightly when he saw noodles.

“Maru-seonbae.”

“What is it?”

“How many episodes is the mini-series you’re doing?”

“Four.”

“Then when do you finish your shoot?”

“It depends, but I think it will be around late October to early November.”

“Today’s the 6th of October, so you have around 3 weeks, huh? You’re shooting all
four episodes in one month?”

“Usually, when it comes to mini-series, you get about 15 minutes of runtime if you
shoot the whole day. But in our case, we don’t have any off-site shoots and do all our
shoots in Seoul, so it will take shorter than normal. A full week of tight shooting
might be able to get us 2 episodes.”

“You’re quite knowledgeable.”

“I hear about it during the shoot all the time. I just have to listen closely to find out
generally about what is happening from the staff.”

“I’ve seen a drama about TV stations before, right? The actors there were treated like
kings. But it looks like reality is different, huh?”

“There are actors who do get that treatment. It depends on the actor and the
shooting location. But why are you asking all this?”

“Because I’m curious. Though, the most important thing I wanted to ask is whether
you have time during the winter holidays.”
“Winter holidays?”

“We’re gonna shoot, of course. With Ando-seonbae too.”

Ando, who was eating the cilantro and the noodles together in delight, suddenly
looked at Sora with a sour expression. His entire face seemed to be asking ‘what the
heck does that mean?’.

“We can’t help it if something happens at that time, but if possible, give us some time.
The scenario that Daemyung-seonbae wrote is almost complete.”

Now he understood why she asked about his schedule. Maru stirred the noodles and
spoke,

“I don’t 100% plan on participating.”

“I know, but you are going to if you find it interesting, right?”

“Yep. But how is it? I mean, you should have a grasp of it if you worked on it so
much.”

Sora tapped on the table and spoke,

“It’s good enough to make me confident that you’ll do it.”

“Then I guess you shouldn’t worry about it.”

Ando, who had been just listening this whole time, suddenly interrupted the
conversation and asked what this was all about.

“What do you mean, what is this all about? It means that you’re going to have to
work with us and the camera throughout the winter holidays.”

“Says who?”

“If you do, I’ll waive the cost for the clothes.”

Maru clearly saw that Ando had glee on his face for a brief moment. It seemed that
the clothes he was wearing were pretty expensive.
“I’ll help out. I should have plenty of time.”

Whether that was acceptance of the request or the acceptance of his fate, only he
knew. In any case, Ando came to a decision pretty easily.

“But what are you going to do about college, Maru-seonbae? I don’t think you did
enough studying.”

“I decided on the thing I wanted to do, so I don’t plan to go to one. If I want to do so

later, I will look into it then.”

“Well, that’s true. I heard that famous actors are invited by universities. Or, they just
get admitted through donations.”

“That’s for the famous ones. Ando, you’re taking CSATs, right?”

The answer came from Sora instead,

“Ando-seonbae is super leisurely because he passed the non-regular admission

already. Isn’t that right, seonbae?”

Ando avoided her gaze, saying that he was busy in his own way.

“No, you aren’t busy. Since we’re at it, come meet me and Daemyung-seonbae
tomorrow. And come with us to scout locations.”

“Why should I?”

“Just come with us.”

Maru stared at the two quarreling before eating the slightly bloated noodles. There
was an hour until the award ceremony.
“Hey, why are we the only people going there?” Ando asked.

Sora, who was walking ahead, turned her head around slightly and spoke,

“Because only two people other than the director are allowed to attend. Apparently,
the award ceremony is done alongside premieres for some films in a theater.”

“Then you should’ve called someone else. You know, like that friend of yours who
helped out or one of the actors. They should have wanted to come.”

“I did ask.”

“Really?”

“Think about it. How many people do you think are willing to spend morning till
afternoon at an obviously boring award ceremony hosted by the City Hall, on a
Sunday of all days?” Sora said.

If Sora hadn’t barged in in the morning, he would also have made an excuse and
would not have gone to it. He got admitted to college already, so he had zero interest
in spending a ‘full’ weekend. He wanted to become one with his bed.

“That’s why you were picked.”

“What about my opinion?”

“You should sacrifice yourself for the juniors at a time like this. Do you think I’m
doing this because I want to?”

For someone who was unwilling to go, Sora was grinning like a child the night before
a picnic. That wasn’t the kind of expression someone who was forced to go would
make. Ando was very willing to nitpick with her, but after seeing Sora’s bright smile,
he felt his energy draining. He sighed before looking at Maru.

“Then you were dragged here as well?”

“No, I was asked by her if I could go with her the day she got the call to come to the
award ceremony.”

Someone was asked, and someone was dragged. It wasn’t probably just him that
thought that the treatment was different.

Ando stared at Sora. She chuckled and fidgeted.

“Fine, I’m easy for you huh. That’s right, I’m easy…”

“Ando-seonbae. What’s good is good, isn’t it? If not for a day like this, when else
would we get to go to something like an award ceremony? For Maru-seonbae, he
might be able to attend the Daejong awards and things like that in the future, but this
might be our last chance, you know? Or what, do you hate me that much? Do you
dislike me because I nagged you to come with me since morning?”

Ando was flustered now that a smiling girl was suddenly looking dejected. He tried
to look for Maru to help, but he had become distant already.

“No, it’s not like that. I was planning to go as well, but it just surprised me because
you came over so suddenly.”

“What were you planning to wear if I didn’t come over?”

Sora had asked with a scolding look. Ando replied while stuttering,

“The things I usually wear… I mean, those clothes aren’t that strange, are they? They
might be a little dated, but I find them comfortable.”

“The things you’re wearing now vs that stretched-out t-shirt at home. Which one do
you honestly think is better?”

Ando looked at his reflection in the glass on the building next to him. When he just
changed his clothes at the clothing store, he felt really embarrassed as though he had
become butt-naked, but now that he was used to it, his neat hair and clothes really
did look quite cool.

“I guess this one is better.”

“Then did I do well going over or not?”

“You did well… I guess?”

“Then were you in the wrong or not when you said that earlier to me?”

Probably in the wrong - he replied, feeling like he was being driven to the edge of a
cliff. Sora, who looked like she was about to cry at any moment, instantly changed
her expression. It was the same face she made when she was pondering over which
clothes were better back at the clothing store.

“Then as an apology, you should hold the camera during the winter holidays.”

So it comes back to this - Ando sighed as he nodded.

“Looks like you should just obediently follow Sora,” said Maru, who was far ahead of
them just until a few moments ago.

Maybe there wasn’t anyone on his side here - Ando thought.

“Anyway, I’m looking forward to working with you over the holidays too, seonbae,”
Sora said with a smile.

For some reason, Ando thought that her teeth were really straight as he looked at
her. It would be great if her personality was neat just like her teeth - he thought, but
it was too late.

“I think it’s over there.”

Sora pointed. Ando followed her finger. On a building that was fully covered with
glass, he saw a banner that was hung vertically. The words ‘The 1st Seoul Youth Film
Festival’ were fluttering in the wind.

***

“We’re going to do the award ceremony after the premiere ends, and you just have to
come down these stairs. We’re going to call you by the order you’re sitting, so if the
person next to you stands up, you should get ready. Also, Miss Kang Sora?”

Hearing the guide’s call, Sora raised her hand.

“Photos will be taken when the grand prize is awarded. You just have to smile
without getting flustered. As for the handshakes, I’m going to tell you about the
order later, so you should do it just like that.”

“Yes.”

“You can go to the bathroom during the ceremony, but it would be troublesome if it
somehow coincides with your award time, so please go in advance if possible. If you
take the door on the left once you are outside Cloud Hall, the place you are in right
now, you’ll see a lounge immediately. We’ve prepared some snacks and tea, so you
can stay there until the ceremony begins. If you sit down in the order I told you by
2:50, the ceremony will begin.”

The guide put on a faint smile.

“The people who are giving speeches today are all rather old, so it might not be any
fun, but you can’t doze off because of that. There are seats for journalists on the side,
so if you get your photo taken while dozing off, you might be in an internet news
article. You should open your eyes as much as possible.”

Then, you can come back after resting - the guide finished her words and pointed at
the door towards their left.

Maru stretched his neck lightly and stood up. The people sitting in front of him also
stood up one by one and left Cloud Hall.

“There’s a lot of people,” Ando said as he left.

“There are awards for 10 categories, so there should be around 30 students from
that alone,” Sora said.

“Anyway, it looks like this is a newly-built building. It’s really clean.”

Maru looked at the glossy marble floor and the pure-white walls. There was a theater
that took up the 1st and 2nd floors, and from the 3rd floor upwards, there were
multiplex movie theaters. The Youth Film Festival that was being held for the first
time in a building that was built for film & culture businesses in mind should have
some meaning.

He went inside the lounge, to which the doors were open. It was completely empty
inside and seemed like it would serve a different purpose in the future. Inside, all
there was, were some lights and some snacks on a table.

“Quite a lot of people came here in uniforms.”

More than half of the students that came inside were wearing student uniforms. For
middle school students, almost all of them were wearing student uniforms. Perhaps
their schools instructed them to.

The students were in groups of three throughout the room and they watched each
other as they quietly ate the snacks. However, the silence only lasted a brief moment.
The students, who came all the way here because they were mesmerized by creating
the type of content known as film, immediately became close to each other and
started talking about the film they shot.

“Uhm, I heard that you guys won the grand prize.”

“What did you shoot?”

In the middle of them was Sora. As the guide had mentioned that she got the grand
prize in front of everyone, they all knew who she was and gathered around her. Maru
slightly fell back with a paper cup in hand. Ando also sneaked his way out of the
crowd.

“She must feel proud,” Ando said.

His eyes were fixed on Sora, who could be heard clearly despite being in the center of
the crowd. Sora didn’t feel pressured by all the attention on her and was speaking
with even more delight.

“You don’t seem to like it,” Maru noted as he sipped his drink.

“I do like it. I mean, for the first time in my life, I get to receive an award. I’ve never
received an award, you know? Not even an attendance award.”

“Then why do you look so gloomy?”

“Because honestly, I didn’t do anything. She wrote the scenario, and you did the
acting. But as for me, all I did was chase you guys around with a camera. I did
something that anyone else could have done, so it doesn’t feel real that I’m getting a
prize.”
Ando spoke as after he ate some snacks,

“Also, look at those other people. They created a film because they are full of the will
to do something and have received a prize as compensation, right? But as for me, I
just did what I was told to do. There was no sense of duty in me either. It just
suddenly dawned on me that maybe it’s not really okay for me to be here.”

“I heard that people get emotional during graduation season, and I see that it must
be true.”

“Maybe that’s why?”

Ando laughed powerlessly. Maru looked at him and spoke,

“If you’re envious of them, then why don’t you try doing it properly?”

“What?”

Ando stopped just as he was about to eat some snacks.

“You might not have had the intention to do it, but the videos you shot were really
decent. Just look at Sora. Do you think she’s the kind of person who would be okay
with a not-so-decent video?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Yet she still let you have the camera. If, like what you said, shooting is about chasing
the actor with a camera, then there would be no reason for her to pick you to hold
the camera. When it comes to work, the will to do it isn’t always the most important.
Heck, it would be weird instead if you think that this is your path when you are just a
beginner. No, you can call that crazy. In your eyes, everyone here might look like they
have a specific purpose in life, but people aren’t that different.”

Maru raised his hand and pointed at the people chatting in front of them. Ando no
longer spoke and focused on their conversation. The things he heard weren’t
anything much. ‘We just shot it for fun’ and ‘we got a prize, isn’t that lucky?’ could
sum up the entire conversation.

“That’s true,” Ando chuckled.

“While it might sound funny for me to give you any advice, you should look into
learning about shooting videos. I’m not telling you to learn about it seriously; I’m
just telling you to do it as a hobby.”

“As a hobby?”

“You don’t have anything to do since you got admitted to college already.”

“Both Sora and you, why do you think that I would have a lot of free time?”

“So, do you have anything better to do?”

“If you say it like that, I’ll get hurt, you know?”

Ando leaned on the wall before continuing,

“After we finished shooting, I suddenly got my hands on a lot of free time. We were
really busy during summer, weren’t we? We met up on days when you didn’t have
shoots and walked around late at night, and we even went to Sora’s house to shoot
more.”

“It was the best when we walked around alleys to shoot street scenes.”

“Yeah, I thought I was going to die. I mean, you guys weren’t carrying anything, but I
had to carry the camera bag, the microphone bag, and gee, don’t even mention it. I
was sweating like mad, my shoulders were aching… Back then, I wanted to throw
everything away and go home.”

“Yeah, you worked really hard. You deserve the prize.”

“Now that I think about it, if I don’t get the prize, no one here should,” Ando said as
he flicked his chin with his fingers.

“How is it during a drama shoot? Are camera directors people who just work
according to orders from the overall director?”

“There’s no way that’s true, is there? It depends on how old they are, but usually, the
camera director is the one who talks to the producer the most. It is up to the
producer to decide on how to shoot a scene, but it’s the camera director’s job to get
the perfect picture. There are times where the two clash and delay everything.”
“So you’re saying that they aren’t just lackeys?”

“Why do you think they’re called camera ‘directors’ in the first place? Though, some
places call them the cameraman.”

“So in any case, they aren’t just yesmen under the overall director, right?”

“Why, you want to go against Sora?”

“I’ll see how it goes.”

Ando tensed his eyes and looked at Sora. Perhaps feeling his gaze, Sora turned
around and looked at him in confusion. Ando looked at the ceiling before putting his
head down again. He didn’t seem like he had any intentions of going against her for
the time being. After watching others chat for a while, Ando quietly spoke,

“I don’t have anything better to do, so should I try?”

“You should investigate it first. You haven’t fully decided that you are going to do it,
have you?”

“Of course not. My dream is to become a civil servant.”

“What a nice dream.”

“People around me always said that becoming a civil servant is the best when you
don’t have anything you want to do.”

“Right, civil servants are the best.”

“Or get employed in a big company.”

“That’s good too.”

After saying those words, Ando pointed at the table and spoke,

“Let’s eat all those up. Since I’m here, I’m going to get the most out of it.”

“I’ll treat you to dinner afterwards, so don’t eat too much,” Maru said as he hung his
arm around Ando’s shoulder.
Although it was titled the Youth Film Festival, the ones leading the ceremony were
adults. Someone went up on the stage along with the host’s introduction. This man
from the Ministry of Culture, who was in his fifties, cleared his throat before starting
to speak. He glanced down at his speech notes from time to time and ended his
words with ‘I hope you have a meaningful time’ before he ultimately went down the
stairs. Maru mechanically applauded.

“Thank you for your good words. Next, we will watch one of the award-winning
pieces, ‘The Reason the Boy went Home Early’.”

Maru turned his head to the left. Three students, who were sitting a little away from
him, looked at the screen while exclaiming. It seemed that it was their piece that was
being screened.

The lights dimmed and the screen became bright. Five minutes into the movie,
people in the audience started laughing. They laughed when they saw a boy trying all
sorts of methods to leave school early in order to meet the girl he liked. Comedy was
something that was hard to try, so Maru gave his applause to the director, who
managed to bring out comedic elements by giving a twist to what would otherwise
be slightly boring, as well as the actors who acted oblivious to the whole plot. As the
equipment was not up to par, the video and the sound didn’t balance that well, but
when it came to ideas, it was better than any other commercial movie in the market
right now. This was something that only students could make as they weren’t bound
by capital and could pursue pure fun.

“Awardees, please come forward.”

As they had been told about this beforehand, there was no chaos during the moving.
All the students became alert and moved sideways to fill the gap.

The award was given by a film director. No titles came to Maru’s mind when he heard
that name, so he asked Ando about it. Ando listed a few titles saying that he was
quite well known.

“Oh, he shot that one.”

Maru nodded when he heard a familiar title. When the three students that received
the prize stood next to the director, the civil servant from the Ministry of Culture
stepped up next to them. Soon, flashes burst out. The civil servant didn’t even say a
word of congratulations before sitting down in the front row seats again.

“The movie was quite cheerful. I also always thought about how to leave school early
when I was a student, so I quite enjoyed it because I thought that the dreams of a
student were mixed into the film quite well.”

The host grabbed the microphone and proceeded with the ceremony.

“Following that, we will watch ‘I Walked the Streets’, which got a judges’ special
prize. It’s a monochrome movie, so don’t panic when you don’t see any color.”

The host smiled after that and left the stage again.

The lights dimmed once again before another film was screened. Just like he said, the
movie was a monochrome one. A girl who failed the CSATs and was walking the
streets endlessly was all that the movie was about. The main character muttered to
herself as she projected herself onto the objects she saw on the streets. Even though
the plot might become boring at the slightest mistake, Maru was absorbed in the
movie because her voice was very cozy yet clear. Furthermore, that was on top of the
fact that people around his age could sympathize with her. The production itself was
rather simple, but he exclaimed when he felt that the ways the director looked at the
objects around them were so different. The daring approach of removing all the
colors from a movie as well as the fact that it brought the nostalgia of monochrome
movies out well made it seem like it was definitely worthy of the judges’ special
prize.

Again, three students to Maru’s left stood up and walked to the stage. They were
awarded the prize and took a photo as well.

The student who had the role of the director grabbed the microphone.

“I will try my best in order to get another prize like this and to become a good film
man. Thank you.”

It was short, but the students here could sympathize with him. Maru could see that
Sora and Ando’s eyes had changed. Perhaps the term ‘film man’ provoked them.
“Since a monochrome film is hard to come by these days, I believe that there were a
lot of difficulties during the planning and the shoot. It must have been a literal
challenge. I also wish to learn from your challenging mindsets.”

The host glanced at the cue sheet before speaking again,

“Before we watch the next piece, I’d like to introduce you to the person who will
make this place shine today. Please give him a big round of applause.”

Maru yawned as he applauded. The owner of the center seat of the front row, which
had been empty this whole time, had finally appeared. The one who entered through
the door on the right was a man with a slightly balding head. The civil servant from
the Ministry of Culture stood up and welcomed him. The one who made the cold-
looking civil servant stand up was none other than the Mayor of Seoul.

“Mayor, please come this way.”

The host politely pointed at the center of the stage. A round of applause much louder
than before spread throughout the theater.

“So there was a different main character. I thought it would be us,” Sora said in a sour
voice.

The mayor glanced at the audience seats before starting to speak. He talked about
something completely irrelevant to the Youth Film Festival for about three minutes
before saying ‘lastly’,

“I am incredibly delighted to meet you all who will lead the film industry in the
future. I believe that the people who will make the Korean film industry shine will be
among the people here. Also, I thank all of the guests for your efforts in the film
festival. I'd especially like to thank the person who has built this New Millennia
Building a Cultural Complex, Mister…”

The mayor’s words, which sounded like it was about to end, only ended after
mentioning the name of the colossal construction company. As soon as the mayor got
away from the microphone. The middle-aged men and women sitting in the front
row seats all stood up and got on the stage. They stood in line with the mayor at the
center and went back down after being bombarded with flashes.

Maru saw the host touch his in-ear monitor. It seemed that he was given instructions
to proceed with the next part.

“Following that, there will be the partial awards.”

Unlike how they were guided at the beginning, they did the main award ceremony
immediately. Good Title Award, Commendation Award, Fresh Gaze Awards, etc all
the prizes were handed out quickly. Presidents from god-knows-which companies
gave the awards, and the students were pushed to the left like they were on a
conveyor belt in a factory: they went up to the stage, took photos, and went down.
The part where the director got to say a few words wasn’t there either. Some of the
students even wrote down what they were going to say on the stage, but they
couldn’t say a word. Maru felt pity when he saw the students return to their seats
and throw away those pieces of paper. Just revealing their ambitions and getting
applauded for it would give them a lot of energy. Perhaps that child might feel
disgusted by the film industry and lose interest in the industry as a whole. After all,
the most trivial events would trigger them to change their decisions when they’re
young.

“Then, allow me to announce the grand prize for the 1st Seoul Youth Film Festival.
The award will be handled by Mayor Moon Joojin.”

Maru stood up from his seat. He went around the left of the audience seats and went
up to the stage. He glanced at Sora’s face a little when he came up, and her lips
looked like they were full of dissatisfaction. Ando also did not hide his bored
expression.

Sora went up to the front, got the prize, and did a handshake. Applause could be
heard and journalists took photos. One of the journalists requested them to smile.
Only then did Sora smile brightly. It was a dry and artificial smile; even an
expressionless face would look better than that.

After the award ceremony, they returned to their seats. Maru saw the mayor stand
up and leave first with some other people. The host at the front tried to make some
jokes to refresh the atmosphere, but the eyes of the students were fixed on the back
of the mayor who was leaving. Now they understood why the order of progression
was changed. It was the progression team’s consideration for the mayor, who was a
busy person. Their consideration for the students was probably infinitely near zero.

“Well then, we should naturally watch the movie that will decorate the end of the
ceremony, right? This is the work of the students at Woosung Engineering
Highschool. The title is ‘Classroom’.”

The lights slowly dimmed. Maru chuckled as he looked at the empty front row seats.
Well, it is a wonder that the mayor made a visit at all for a business that doesn’t even
make money.

“If it was going to be like this, they should have mailed the awards,” Sora spoke as
though she found this absurd.

“At least they screened the movie. I thought it was going to end just like that with the
mayor gone.”

Maru crossed his arms and looked at the screen. Watching the movie on a big screen
like this should definitely feel different from seeing it on a small monitor. Even while
grumbling, Sora seemed to have realized that her work was going to be screened on
a big screen, and started to focus with an expectant look.

The movie screener scattered white light. A moment later, the first scene they were
so familiar with came up on the screen. Maru looked at his own acts like he was
monitoring. Even the acts he was satisfied with at the time would sometimes later
feel flawed, and this time was no different. The way he did his gaze and expressions,
the way he changed his tone of voice and breathing patterns. There were a lot of
things he wanted to fix.

“We should have zoomed in a little more.”

“Yeah. Back then, it looked pretty good, but now that I’m watching it here, Maru’s
expression feels too distant. Is it because of the big screen?”

“It might be like that. We should consider it the next time we shoot.”

“I’ll also keep that in mind.”

Ando and Sora, who were sitting next to him, also observed their work in detail like a
professional Go player going through his match. How many people would be 100%
satisfied with the work they created? - Maru suddenly had this thought. Perhaps
even God clicked his tongue in disappointment after the creation of Heaven and
Earth.
As they watched the movie multiple times before, their excitement soon died down.
Maru turned his head around to look at the reactions of the other students.
Fortunately, they were all focusing on the movie. It seemed that the leaving of the
people who had no interest in film helped out with the mood making of the
ceremony at least.

The film ended after showing the empty desk of the transfer student. At the same
time, people started applauding. Sora and Ando looked embarrassed, but they still
smiled in delight. This was the one moment when the creator could be happy with
their work.

The host grabbed the mic and came forward again. It seemed like he was going to
finish the ceremony. Just then, the host touched his ear before nodding towards the
back of the audience seats.

“Looks like we have a really special guest here. I hope she can give good words for
the filmpeople of the future.”

The host put down his microphone and made way. Maru looked at the woman taking
the right staircase up the stage. She was wearing a white t-shirt and jeans. While it
might look simple, the presence she gave off was never as so. The woman stood
under the stage lights and took off her baseball cap. Maru’s jaws became agape as he
checked that face. An unexpected figure was standing in front of the mic.

“Huh? Ahn Joohyun, it’s Ahn Joohyun!”

“Joohyun-unni! I’m a fan!”

“Noona! Wave your hand!”

Grabbing the mic, Ahn Joohyun walked over to the edge of the stage.

“Ah-ah, can you guys hear me?” Joohyun asked.

When she did, the students answered ‘yes’ with passion.

“I’ll say this before I start. The main characters of this festival aren’t the morons that
left halfway through the ceremony; it’s you all. So, there’s no need to feel dejected or
disappointed. In the first place, they don’t know jack shit about film. No, let me be
blunt here. Those guys came here to shoot photos.”
Her words were brutal. Cloud Hall became quiet in an instant. Maru laughed when
he looked at the host trying to hide in the corner. Thanks to his laugh, the stiff
atmosphere broke apart. People started applauding and cheering.

“I’ll drop the polite speech with you all because I’m the older one. I watched all the
movies they screened, and they were all good. I mean, of course, they’re good. You
guys put so much effort into them, right?”

“Yes!”

“Don’t feel dejected because you didn’t get the grand prize. It’s just a matter of
preference. Everyone here did really well. I mean it. You know me, right? I can’t
sugarcoat my words.”

“I saw you swear in a magazine!”

“The F-word? Should I do it again?”

“Yes!”

“Fuck you! Tell them to go fuck themselves!”

That was the moment when the ceremony turned into a crazed party.
“She’s telling people to go fuck themselves?” Park Taeho said as he pointed at Ahn
Joohyun on stage.

He did expect this from the moment she went up there so boldly, but he never knew
that she would start off like that. If the people who left heard what she said, they
would probably feel their blood rush backwards.

“It’s not like no one knows her foul mouth,” said Lee Junmin, who stood next to him.

He was smiling in delight as he watched the whole thing unfold.

“Did you bring her here for that purpose?”

“I did want her to liven up the mood a little, but I didn’t want this much. Look at all
these people.”

“I honestly feel scared when I work with her. It feels like she might fight the director
at any moment.”

“She won’t bark without reason, so you don’t need to worry about that.”

“But if she does bark, she does things beyond imagination. I mean, just look at her
now. I can hear everyone related to this event getting hot on their butts. The
journalists are shooting photos like mad.”

Junmin put his phone against his ear. After a short call, his right-hand man, head
manager Kang, entered the theater. Head manager Kang walked over to the
journalists taking photos before leaving the theater with them. Taeho could easily
imagine what kind of conversation would be held outside.

“Hyung-nim, it looks like you’re quite bored these days, coming to a kiddy event like
this. Is it because of Maru?”

“I’ll only be able to catch fish easily if I have many fishing rods fishing at the same
time. Now that he should start working, I should give him support when I can.”
“Aren’t you being a little too biased?”

“What’s so bad about being biased? Giving motivation to those who do worse will no
longer work anymore. We live in a world where taking care of the good ones is hard
enough. Who would want to care about those lagging behind?”

“I just feel like you’re investing too much. If you expect too much from someone
who’s just starting off, you’ll be just as disappointed later. An actor’s career won’t
always work out just because you support them.”

Joining a large agency would make debuting a lot easier. It would also be a lot
smoother to bundle-sell them with a famous actor. They might be able to start off in
a better environment than someone who joined a nameless agency, but the
entertainment industry was one where it was impossible to predict the immediate
future.

“Then, have I ever slipped up like that until now?” Junmin said as he looked forward.

His gaze was directed at Maru. Taeho faintly smiled and nodded. If anyone else said
the same words, he would have thought that that person was being arrogant, but
when it came to Junmin, he couldn’t help but accept. Junmin looked like someone
who wouldn’t predict only the immediate future, but the far goal ahead of him as
well, when he chose the people he decided to nurture. As he had no history of failing,
the ‘possibility of failing’ might be meaningless.

“Also, he’s the last crew to board my ship.”

“Are you going to quit your job?”

“I’m only fifty, so it’s still too early to quit. However, I don’t plan on recruiting any
more new actors. I’ll just make do with the people I have and turn them into stars to
my satisfaction.”

“Stars to your satisfaction? If my memory serves me correctly, there’s only one

person who ever fit those criteria. Moreover, that person isn’t even around anymore.”

Junmin shrugged.

“Taeho.”
“Yes, hyung-nim.”

“Do you remember what I told you when I saw you for the first time in Daehak-ro?”

Of course, I do - Taeho replied without hesitation. He was in his mid-twenties when

he met Junmin while trying to sell tickets to the play that he was an actor in. He
considered the words of a man in his late 30s wearing a worn-out suit absurd. You
have the look of a person who will blossom soon and become successful - these
words sounded like he was some cult leader.

“Back then, I thought you were just cheering for me, but ever since then, things have
turned out really well for some strange reason. It’s all in the past and now it doesn’t
really matter anymore, but why did you tell me such things back then? I mean, you
never saw me before that.”

“The thing is, I don’t know either.”

“What?”

“I said I don’t know why I said such things either.”

Taeho thought that he was joking, but Junmin’s expression was pretty serious.

“Did something happen?”

“The reason I decided not to raise any more new recruits is one, because I want to
focus on the ones I have right now, but the bigger reason is that my eyes aren’t
functioning properly anymore.”

“Do you have a problem with your eyes? That’s why I told you several times to quit
drinking and smok…”

“My body’s completely fine.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

Junmin stroked his chin.

“Until now, I’ve come across numerous people and selected those I saw talent in and
nurtured them. But a few days ago, it suddenly came to me. What did I see in them to
convince me to make them debut?”

“That’s because your eyes for people are special, so you must have seen things other
people couldn’t. You’re someone who told me that I would become successful when I
was just handing out leaflets.”

Junmin pulled his chin inward.

“Indeed. I had special eyes that saw special qualities in people, so I dragged in people
who might seem completely unrelated to this field and had them practice. But now
that I look back at it, even I don’t understand why I picked them. I looked at my
interviews from before for a reason to make me accept it, but I couldn’t find
anything. That’s why I thought - ah, my eyes for people are dead. The special eyes I
possessed a long time ago have disappeared.”

“Are you sure you aren’t in a slump or something? You should take a few days off and
have a look at the trainees again. Who knows? You might be able to regain them.”

“I did that already and nothing came to me. The only thing I could do was to pick
people based on the data I’ve gained in the past. But that’s something that all
moderately-decent agencies do. It’s different from what I was doing before.”

“Well, it did seem like your choices were completely based on instinct before. You
didn’t even look at people’s acting and just chose them seemingly at random. Back
then, I thought that maybe you had a completely different set of eyes from me.”

“I can’t do that anymore. I don’t even remember what kind of standards I had when I
picked people before. I don’t even know if it’s memory loss resulting from
psychotherapy, or because my special eyes disappeared with my messed-up brain
returning to normal. You know what’s even funnier? I skimmed through the diaries
and materials I wrote 17 years ago, and I felt like it was a completely different
person writing it. The current me cannot even begin to understand what kind of
thoughts I had in life back then, or what kind of confidence I had at the time when I
did my work.”

Junmin smiled with a refreshed yet bitter smile. Taeho made a bitter smile as well as
he looked at the legend who had zero losses against the industry, quietly declaring
his retirement.

“That boy is the last product of my instincts. I’m not capable of picking new people,
so I plan to invest everything I have into the people I have.”

“Hyung-nim, you never know what will happen in life. Who knows? You might regain
that instinct tomorrow.”

“There are a few things I’ve come to realize as I got older, and one of them is that my
intuition has rarely failed me.”

Junmin turned around.

“Are you leaving?”

“Do you plan to go up there?”

Taeho looked at Joohyun, who was talking to the students at the edge of the stage.
The main character had completely taken over the stage and the audience was
completely captivated by her.

“I don’t see a place for me.”

“Right? Let’s leave now and eat dinner while we’re at it. I let you go through so much
effort for this, so I can’t let you starve.”

“I didn’t go through that much. In fact, it was good to see films that were produced
without any strings attached. Kids these days are really amazing. They are a
generation that grew up watching high-quality films, so they don’t follow the
standards. Once those guys grow up and grab the megaphones, I think the movie
industry of this country will change a lot.”

“Well, I wouldn’t be too sure about that.”

“Why, you don’t think so?”

“It would be great if that happens, but I question if there will come a day where
actors and directors could win against the production companies and distribution
companies. It might become even worse in the future, but it will definitely not be
better. Businesses do not like standing out. They like being stable. The people
gathered here definitely possess different qualities from the rest, but whether that
will work in the market or whether the market would allow them to do so in the first
place, is up to debate.”
“Did you really have to nip the buds like that? If they can’t, people like you should
support them.”

Junmin, who walked towards the exit without saying anything, spoke in a small
voice: that’s why I’m earning money like mad right now.

While there was a sense of loathing in his words, he sounded more reliable and
credible than any hypocrite.

“I would like to shoot a deep, romantic one.”

“I can’t do that with my powers either. No matter who looks at you, you have the
image of a psychopath or a warm father. Very far from feeling romantic.”

“Gee, that was a little too much. Hyung-nim, can’t you do this little brother a favor?”

Taeho smiled and caught up to Junmin.

***

“Why did you quit acting midway into your career and switch to commercials?”

A girl with glasses had raised her hand and asked. Maru flinched and looked at
Joohyun. Having received a question, Joohyun smiled and replied,

“Should I tell you what really happened? Or what I tell the media?”

She had a smiling face, but the girl seemed to have noticed it was something serious
as she hesitated a little before saying ‘the real thing’.

“Does anyone here have the dream of entering the TV or the movie industry in the
future?”

Hearing Joohyun’s question, more than twenty people raised their hands.

“That’s quite a lot. Good, it’s not fun to go into the details, so let me put it simply. I
was asked to serve someone, and I refused to do it.”

For a brief moment, the theater turned completely silent. The girl who asked the
question especially couldn’t say anything.
“The news you see on TV from time to time, while I can’t say that they are all true,
they aren’t entirely false either. There are definitely not-so-decent events happening
and while there are people who manage to shake off their temptations, there are
those who can’t. Don’t ask me who. You shouldn’t ask things like that.”

“Really?” another one asked.

“Whatever you do, illegal things will tempt you from all around. As there are many
people who live by selling off their faces in the entertainment industry, the
temptations are just usually related to your faces. Of course, it’s not as bad or as
forceful as it was before. As I said, it’s a temptation. There shouldn’t be any places
anymore that say ‘there’s no future for you if you don’t take this’. There’s the internet
after all. But that just makes them even more secretive when they give you
suggestions. They make it sound really sweet - they tell you that just once is enough.
Let me tell you something because there seems to be a lot of you who want to come
to this industry: don’t ever fall for their temptations. If you give in once, you will keep
falling for it the second time and the third time. People's willpower and their urge to
restrain isn’t really anything strong. Just once, the important thing is to endure that
first time.”

“Did you not have any difficulties returning?”

The girl who asked the first question had asked another. She seemed like she wanted
to become an actress as desperation could be felt in her voice.

“People’s gazes. That was the scary part. But the thing is, you know? If you don’t have
bad skills, some people are bound to call for you. That’s just how the market works.
Even if some company says ‘don’t use her’, there are bound to be other businesses
who go ‘use her’. People who have value will not have to worry about feeding
themselves. Was I too blunt with that?”

Joohyun laughed out loud. Having listened to the dark parts of the entertainment
industry, the students’ faces looked stiff for a while, but they soon regained their
smiles. Perhaps the shock wasn’t as big because it was a distant thing for them.

“Do you have to be good-looking to become an actor?” asked a boy.

“I also have an answer for the media and an answer not for the media.”

“I’d like an answer not for the media.”

“For men, they’re better off. But for actresses, they have to be good-looking, at least
right now. That’s the truth. Should I show you proof if that’s true or not?”

Joohyun raised a finger.

“Raise your hand if you saw an ordinary-looking male actor play the role of a main
character in a Korean film recently.”

The majority of the students raised their hands.

“Conversely, raise your hand if you saw an ordinary-looking actress play the role of
the main character in a movie. I don’t mean minor roles, but as a main character.”

None of them raised their hands. Joohyun shrugged.

“You get what I mean, right? I’m sorry to say this, but you can improve your acting
skills, but there’s a limit to what you can do for your appearance. These days, the
general trend is that you will be forgiven for undergoing plastic surgery if you reveal
it carefully, but there are still people who don’t like people who have had knives to
their faces. As such, if you are dreaming of becoming an actress, and you think your
appearances are at or below average, then I’m sorry to say this, but you won’t be able
to for the time being. It would be great if actresses with character are loved in the
future, but I’m not sure about the future either.”

Joohyun put the mic against her mouth.

“But still, I’d like to you to tell you to try. It might sound arrogant of me, and I can’t
help it even if you call me irresponsible, but I don’t want to tell you to give up on
your dreams just because of your looks. That’s because I've seen someone who could
dominate everyone with her acting skills alone despite looking really ordinary.”

“Who is that?”

“There used to be an unni like that. That’s why, I’m telling you that while reality
might be harsh, I believe that you can do it. Bluntly speaking, if looks decide what
kind of acting you do, that would be really sad, won’t it?”

Joohyun looked at the girl who asked the question.

“It didn’t help that much since I sounded irresponsible, didn’t I?”
The girl shook her head.

“No, in fact, I want to try challenging it. I just have to do what everyone couldn’t do
until now, don’t I?”

“I really like that mindset of yours. I hope we see each other on set in the future.”

Joohyun raised her thumb and smiled.

“Can I ask how much you earn?”

“Isn’t it strange to ask if you can ask when you asked already?” Joohyun said as she
crossed her legs.

She had come down from her chair and was sitting at the edge of the stage.

“I can’t really tell you a specific amount. Actors don’t have a fixed income. Of course,
if you sign a long-term commercial ad contract, you will earn money even if you’re
resting, but there aren’t that many actors in the country who will get offered
something like that.”

“Aren’t you one of those few, unni?” asked a girl with side part hair.

“First up, thanks for complimenting me, and as you said, I’ve earned enough to the
point that I won’t starve to death even if I don’t work immediately. Money, yes, it’s
important. However, there’s no other job that has as big of a disparity between the
top earners and the bottom earners, so speaking from my standards won’t help you
in any way, but…”

After blurring the end of her words, Joohyun lowered her voice before speaking,

“You want to get a clear answer, right? I can’t tell you about my contract fees and
guarantees because those are sensitive pieces of info, but I can tell you how much I
own right now. It would be too long to list everything, so I can pick two things that
make me the most money. One is properties and two is stocks.”

“What building in which area? What rank is the company you’ve invested in on the
KOSPI rankings?”

Maru turned around to the side. Sora was the one asking and her eyes were shining.
The concept of economics for a girl from a well-off family seemed to be more
developed than her peers.

“I won’t answer that because revealing that would make me feel naked. Well, I can
tell you that there’s one on Gangnam’s main street.”

“That means that you have more than that, right?”

“Probably?” Joohyun smiled and no longer spoke.

“Do you have anything else you want to ask? There are about 10 minutes until the
end of the ceremony, so you guys should ask everything you want until then.
However, you guys know that it would be your loss if you ask questions that aren’t
beneficial for you, right? Even if you guys find out about what’s in my possession, it
won’t do you any good. Ask things that can benefit you. I will answer as much as I
can.”

Maru quietly raised his hand. Joohyun flicked her eyebrows upwards before pointing
him out.

“What should we not do in order to become a good actor?”

“So you’re not asking what you have to do, but what you shouldn’t do, right?”

“I’ve heard a lot about how to become a good actor.”

“I see. But that was unexpected. I thought you would ask about how to get good
earnings as an actor.”

“Me? I know that money is important, but I’m not so hung up on it.”

“Really? You sound different to the kid I know. I don’t know whether you had a
change of heart or some sort of realization, but I will answer you anyway.”

Joohyun crossed her arms and started pondering. Sora, who sat next to him, poked
him and moved her lips. Are you two close? - she seemed to be asking. Maru just
shrugged.

“Things you shouldn’t do, huh. To think about it simply, you can think about the
things opposite of what you should do, but that would be boring. So, let me tell you
the things you would really regret based on my experience. First is, as I said before,
to not fall for temptations. You will hit a lot of blocks while doing your work as an
actor. You might not get any decent jobs or fail all the auditions you try before
running out of them. If you are given an offer at times like that, you will feel really
tempted. You should first endure that. Are you so poor that you won’t be able to
continue being an actor if you don’t accept such offers? If so, then quit being an actor
immediately and start working somewhere else. Anything is fine. Once time passes
and you are financially better, and you still want to become an actor, then you should
try again at that time. I can guarantee you that people who have gone through such
experiences will see dramatic improvements in their acting. After all, what actors are
capable of acting comes down to the quantity of life they’ve experienced.”

“Don’t you think it would be too late by then?” one of the students asked as she
looked up at Joohyun.

“If your dream is to become an actor or an actress who’s young and is active during
his or her most beautiful days, then yes, it would be too late. It is a natural desire to
not want to miss the time where your beauty and body are at their peak. However,
how many people do you think can debut in the role they want, when they want in
this world?”

Joohyun paused a little before making a phone call. After a while, she hung up and
spoke again,

“You all know who Park Taeho is, right?”

The students all nodded. Maru did the same. Was there anyone who watched movies
in Korea who did not know that name?

“That senior worked for a theater until he was 28 and played a minor role in a film
when he was 30 before getting his first main role. That’s probably what you guys
want. From the side, it might look like he climbed the ladder without any hardships
or experience being nameless. But what do you think he was like when he was
young? Didn’t I tell you? The quality of your acting is decided by the life you’ve lived.
The role he played in the first film he was the main character in was a murderer. He
played the role of human trash who beat up his wife and son ruthlessly. That senior
was freakishly good at acting that part out. That act only looked realistic because it
contained his youth. He lost his mother due to domestic violence when he was
young. Such terrible times filled up the majority of his youth.”

The venue became quiet. Not even a single breath could be heard. Joohyun coughed
faintly.
“Actors can only make use of what they have. Just like other creators. People that
don’t know him well always say that he must have god-sent talent and luck because
his debut was quick and his rise to fame was fast. Yes, but we can’t entirely rule out
the presence of talent. He probably survived in this competitive market where tens
of thousands of people exist because he had the talent. However, talent cannot
replace experience. Senior Taeho was able to show an empathetic act that also
looked realistic because he had piled up sadness in a corner of his heart since he was
young. He himself said those words after all. Actors need to learn how to use their
hardships as fertilizers. Right now, the future might look unclear, so anything you do
might feel meaningless, but the moment that experience meets the right role, you
will be rewarded for it. You will feel that those hardships weren’t entirely
meaningless.”

“But don’t you think that acting doesn’t necessarily require experiences and is
possible to do with imitation? You can’t kill a friend in order to long for a dead
friend,” a girl asked while staring holes at Joohyun.

She didn’t look like she was trying to nitpick. She looked like she was desperately
waiting for an answer.

“It’s called ‘acting’, so you might be asking the question ‘can’t I just copy it off
someone else?’. You can start off with imitation, yes. But if you want to keep living as
an actor, you should one day realize that you have reached your limits. That limit
equals your bottom line. No matter when it is, the day they see their bottom lines is
the day their future is decided. There are actors who will rise to become stars, and
there will be actors who will stop there. They might even quit acting altogether.”

Bottom line. Maru thought about the conversation he had with Joohyun a long time
ago. She said that it was important to get to the bottom of his emotions.

“If you keep continuing your career as an actor, you will definitely gain skills in terms
of acting. You are bound to become proficient and improve if you keep repeating one
thing. When you just start off, smiling and walking forward might feel awkward, but
you will eventually become used to it and will be able to do it without feeling
awkward at all. After that continues for a while, you would think - hey? Acting isn’t
anything that difficult?; or perhaps - Why don’t I get a good role when I’m doing so
well? How am I failing all the auditions I’m trying?”

Joohyun held up two fingers.

“This is the second thing you must not do. It is using momentum in acting. Acting
definitely has technical parts, and it might feel easy if you become proficient at it.
Make this expression when you’re sad or make that expression when you’re happy.
You will gain tricks and methods with time. I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing. Every
actor goes through that point at least once in their career. The problem is that many
people stop there. Acting, which felt awkward at first, would start to obey your will
and will look natural like clothes you’ve been wearing for a long time.”

Joohyun nodded once.

“Numerous actors push themselves into environments similar to what the character
goes through in order to understand their role better. There are people who even
block off all sound in order to understand the world that a deaf person sees.
However, you can’t say that you understood all the uncomfortable parts of being a
deaf person just by doing that. In the same notion, it would be hard to experience the
sadness of losing a friend. Of course, it would be a different story if murder becomes
legal,” said Joohyun with a laugh.

Though, not many students laughed with her.

“Well then, what do you do now? Should you just give up since it’s something
impossible and just imitate a scene that’s widely considered to be very good? No.
That’s not an actor; that is an acting machine. What actors need to do is analyze the
numerous indirect experiences he or she had and assimilate them by empathizing
with them and understanding them to recreate the emotions necessary for the
specific role they’re playing. They can’t become 1, so they have to be a 0.9 recurring
that’s infinitely close to 1. The result of that is what the audience experiences as 1.
An actor who can only imitate will never even become 0.9. There’s nothing inside
them after all.”

The girl who asked that question sealed her lips and nodded. She looked like she was
given a satisfactory answer. Joohyun smiled and continued to speak,

“For that reason, the last thing you should not do is this one thing: to be satisfied
with one thing and then stopping. Being happy with little things would definitely
make you live a happy life. I also wish to live with the bare minimum once I quit
being an actress. However, while you still possess the occupation of an actor, you
cannot stop. To an actor, a resting period is a period for them to accept new things.
New things always bring tension and stress. You have to keep repeating that. Of
course, even I sometimes think that I should just throw everything away and just
keep doing what I was doing. As long as you are human, you can’t help becoming
tired. The important thing is whether you’re being dragged by time while you’re
stopped or whether you continue to change along with time. If you want to keep
playing similar roles, then it’s fine to stop there. However, if it’s not like that, you
must pursue challenges and change endlessly.”

She was right. It was completely in line with the views he had, so he would have been
very impressed by those words. The moment he felt a sense of rejection was when
he heard the words ‘challenges’ and ‘change’. His face tilted sideways and he
subconsciously clicked his tongue. It was quite peculiar. Primitive emotions that
ignored his reason were welling up inside him. Maru raised his hand.

“A person specializing in one thing doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re bad though,
does it?”

“Generally, yes. I’m not saying that specialists are bad. I’m just saying that it doesn’t
fit my ideals of acting.”

“You might lose what you already have if you take on challenges and lose the image
you originally had. Is there really a need to do that?”

Maru sighed as he finished his words. He was blurting those words out
subconsciously. Challenges and change. Why did he feel a sense of disgust towards
the two words that he admired?

Just as Joohyun was about to speak again, the host, who had been watching quietly
until now, approached her.

“Uhm, our rental time is over.”

He smiled awkwardly.
“Seonbae, you aren’t angry, are you?” Sora asked.

Ando, who sat next to her, also looked at him worriedly.

“No, it’s not like that.”

Maru felt that his answer was poor. The last words he said to Joohyun were pretty
aggressive. The words he said were completely contrary to what was on his mind. He
felt like his mouth was beyond his control.

“I just felt so nervous as I kept talking to her. I think maybe that’s why I sounded so
stiff.”

“Was that what happened? I thought you got angry or something. Your voice was
really low and rough. I was worried about you for a while.”

“Sorry.”

“So someone like you becomes nervous too?”

“I’m only human. Of course I do.”

“That’s not an answer I like, but okay, let’s leave it at that. You don’t look like you
want to answer. This quick-witted junior will stay quiet now.”

Sora grinned and no longer said anything.

The ceremony, which became heated along with the appearance of Joohyun, was
brought to a close in an awkward fashion. The important people from the host side
had left already, so it ended with the host reading the closing comments.

Students exchanged words as they left the theater. Most of them were talking about
Joohyun. As she left a deep impression, she would probably continue to be their
conversation topic.
“Let’s leave too. Oh, who’s going to take the plaque?” Sora asked as she held up the
plaque.

“Don’t you think placing it in the clubroom is the best option?” Ando said.

When Sora glanced at him and said that she wanted to bring it home, Ando quickly
took the plaque away from her. Sora pouted.

“I can’t make a joke, can I?”

“You sound serious when you say things like that.”

“Fine. I’ll make do with taking a photo of it and taking that home. Oh, apparently, the
prize money is going to come into my account. I hope we get it early.”

Sora hummed and walked forward. Ando shook his head and followed her.

As Maru was walking, he thought back to the recent conversation he had with
Joohyun. Her advice all came from her own experiences. Even people with different
ideals would respect her for her values, not be angry with her. The more he thought
about it, the more confused he became. Why did he snap out at her when he had
similar ideals as her?

There was a need to look back at his thought process. He should be able to approach
the essence of this problem if he thought about which part his reason was unable to
retain control of himself. At first, he had definitely accepted her words and was even
impressed by them. The part that changed him was as he had expected, when he
heard the words ‘challenge’ and ‘adventure’. He became more confused. Why did he
react so sensitively to the two words that he liked quite a lot?

As he was pondering, he got a call. He looked at Sora and Ando before taking the call.

-It’s been a while since we last met, so let’s have a meal together. Come with your
friends.

It was from Joohyun.

***

“I’m not dreaming, am I?” Sora said as she sat down.

When he said that Joohyun invited them to a meal, Sora and Ando told him not to lie.
Maru gave them the phone while he was still on call with Joohyun, and having
listened to Joohyun’s voice, the two people came to the restaurant in disbelief and in
a daze.

“I’ve only seen this in movies,” Ando said as he slowly rotated the circular table.

Sora also agreed and started rotating the table. When an employee came in with a
bottle of water and some cups, the two people flinched and grabbed the table to stop
it from spinning.

When the employee, who was wearing a Chinese dress, was placing the cups down,
the door opened and Joohyun came in.

“Oh, the food isn’t here yet. Will it come out soon?”

“Yes. I will prepare them for eating immediately.”

The employee quietly closed the door and left.

“Oh, you’re the girl who asked me where the building I owned was,” Joohyun said
with a smile to Sora, who was sitting opposite to her.

Having met Joohyun up close, Sora hid her usual cheeky side and just smiled. Maru
didn’t know if she was probing Joohyun out or whether she was really feeling shy.

Joohyun asked for the two’s names. Ando and Sora introduced themselves.

“Kang Sora, Koo Ando. I have a pretty good memory, so don’t forget to greet me the
next time you see me. But man, I’m so hungry after not eating anything since
morning. Moreover, I talked so much, so I’m running low on energy.”

“Was that event in your schedule from the beginning?” Maru asked.

Joohyun shook her head as she placed her cup against her mouth.

“Originally, senior Taeho was the one to do it, but somehow, I ended up going there.
That senior is really sneaky. He tossed something so hard to me and left by himself. If
I think about it carefully though, I feel like I was fooled by your president into doing
this, not him.”
“The president is here?”

“He came to the ceremony. Seems like he took quite an interest.”

“Looks like it was pretty meaningful then. Or maybe he was here to do business.”

“In my opinion, I felt like he came here to see you.”

“Me?” Maru questioned as he wiped his hand with a wet towel.

He wasn’t notified of anything like this beforehand. Just then, they got their food. It
was pine nut porridge as an appetizer and some warm tea.

“Should we talk after we eat? You guys should eat a lot. If you want more, tell me
anytime,” Joohyun said.

When they finished about half of the porridge, other dishes were placed on the table.
While Joohyun said they should ask for more if they wanted to, there was an endless
stream of dishes. When the pieces of pineapple came out as dessert, Sora, who had a
great appetite, gave up on finishing the meal. The course meal was just that plentiful.

“That’s a lot better,” Joohyun said as she put down the teacup.

Maru also stroked his stomach. Although he would usually finish a meal given to him
for free, he decided to leave some behind for today.

“I can’t keep occupying busy people here. Shall we go?”

Joohyun stood up first. Sora looked like she wanted to talk more, but she left after
reading the mood.

Just as Maru was about to follow Ando out, Joohyun called out to him and waved at
him. Maru told Ando and Sora, who were outside the room, to leave the restaurant
first.

“What is it?”

“I’m not someone who likes leaving things on an awkward note.”

Maru could imagine what Joohyun had to say.

“You’re talking about what happened at the theater, right?”

“Yeah. You being cynical is not that rare, so I didn’t really care, but back then it was a
bit different. It even made me wonder if I did something wrong to you.”

Maru apologized first. He wanted to explain why he became so emotional, but he

couldn’t make others understand when he himself didn’t have a clear understanding.

“You didn’t know why you did that? I’m rather confused because that doesn’t sound
like you.”

“You tell me. I don’t even know why I felt so angry back there. There was nothing in
the things that you said that made me angry, but for some reason, anger got the
better of me. I did think about filtering my words calmly, but my mouth didn’t follow
my intentions. I was in a fix too.”

“Are you tired lately? I heard your president mention that you’re doing two dramas
at once.”

“The schedule isn’t that tight, so I’m not that tired. No, wait, I guess I don’t really
know about that. Perhaps I’m too tired to the point that I can’t judge my own
condition properly.”

“It’s not easy to work while going to school. Most people take time off classes and
take remedial ones later, but it doesn’t look like you’re doing that. Also, Bangjoo told
me that you’re looking after the acting club quite a lot these days.”

“I felt like I was too detached when I was in my 2nd year. I should at least act like a
senior.”

“If it’s like that, I guess it isn’t strange for you to be exhausted mentally, even if you
aren’t tired physically. I’m not that worried since it’s you we’re talking about, but
don’t miss the danger signals that your body is giving off. Just because you’re young
doesn’t mean that illnesses will purposely avoid you.”

“Yes, I’ll keep that in mind.”

Joohyun smiled faintly.

“Was I being too nosy? I’m not sure if it’s because of Bangjoo, but I feel like you’re a
little brother of mine. Bangjoo is the immature little brother, while you’re the reliable
one.”

“Please treat me like that in the future too. Teach me a lot, and treat me to a lot of
good food.”

Joohyun approached him and patted him on the head before leaving. Maru faintly
smiled and touched his hair. Even in terms of actual age, he was the little brother, so
there should be nothing that awkward, but he felt strange for some reason. He felt
like he was consoled by someone much younger than him.

-She’s a good person. There shouldn’t be that many people who look out for others
so much just because they’re indebted.

The masked man, who had been silent until now, had spoken. Maru inwardly spoke:
is it because of you that I said all those words regardless of my intentions?

-If I had the power to do that, I would act like a villain from a movie and do all sorts
of things in an attempt to take over your body. From how such cliche things didn’t
happen, it proves that I don’t have such amazing abilities.

“Then what are all the strange phenomenas that's been occurring around me
recently? I’m guessing you know something about it.”

-Phenomenas, you say. Are you talking about how you feel like someone completely
different wrote your old diary or things like that?

“Yes.”

-Well, I don’t really know either.

“You really won’t tell me anything other than things related to acting, huh.”

-That’s just how I am. I am in an extremely limited position, so what I can say is very
limited. But isn’t that diary thing pretty common? Many people feel really unfamiliar
with the photos they took when they were young. Even photos feel like that, so old
things you wrote must feel even more strange.

“It’s only been two years. I don’t think my brain is so flawed that I won’t remember
my personality from two years ago.”
-The person in the middle of the problem does not know what the problem is.

“You sound very suspicious.”

-There’s nothing to be suspicious about. There are slight changes, but it doesn’t
change the fact that you’re in a hamster wheel. Oh, no. The fact that I can say this
means that that time is coming close.

“That time?”

-Happy birthday.

The masked man left those words before disappearing into the dark.

“Birthday?”

He probed his memories, but there was no one around him who had a birthday in
October. Did that mean that the masked man’s birthday was in October? The clown
who liked puzzles always disappeared after throwing out a question. Would there
ever come a day he says an answer?

“Han Maru?”

Joohyun, who was standing outside, looked at him in puzzlement.

“I just remembered something I forgot. Sorry for dazing out.”

“Looks like you are tired. Managing your body is a part of work. If you want to be a
long runner, you should watch out.”

Maru nodded.

***

Having returned home, Maru washed himself before sitting in front of the computer.
These days, there was something he did before opening his script. It was the process
of trying to understand his past while reading the diary he wrote before. While the
masked man spoke like it was nothing much, Maru was still concerned about the
traces left by himself two years ago. Twenty-nine. That was the age where people’s
recognition of society solidified. If he was actually a student, he would be able to
accept the dramatic change in his personality in two years, but he was not a high
school student.

“Why did I think like this?”

It felt new every time he read it. It felt like reading an autobiography of someone
else. He had the memory of writing it, but the memory was superficial at best, so he
couldn’t remember the emotions he had back then. Where did the dramatic shift in
his personality come from?

Maru compared the conversation he had with Joohyun during the day to the diary
entries he wrote in the past. Their ideals were surprisingly similar. The elements
shown in these entries showed how much he despised challenge and adventure, and
how he was even disgusted by them.

“Something’s happening.”

Even a miracle known as coming back to life had a clear cause and an outcome. The
meaning of the ending lay in the beginning. The opposite was true as well. His past
self from two years ago as well as the personality that suddenly protruded today
could be classified into one. This meant something simple. What happened today
wasn’t a sudden protrusion of emotions, it was the expression of emotions that he
already possessed.

Maru wrote down the things he thought about. He also wrote down the hypothesis
that some of his memories might be missing. When he put the final period and
turned his head around……

That woman was sitting on his bed.

That woman, who was sitting on someone else’s bed like it was nothing, was wearing
a white suit again today. She looked like she was remembering something from the
past. Maru wondered if he had to offer her a drink or something. Unlike before, she
was quiet today. It was as though her business here was to watch.

Maru looked at her with a calm look but inwardly, he was exclaiming. She had the
face of a human, but her face possessed a beauty that couldn’t be described as
anything human. Her beauty looked like it was about to suck him in.

Looking at her in detail, there were ordinary parts about her as well. For example,
her nose. From the perspective of western beauty, her nose was slightly low and
round. Her eyes and mouth were also very normal-looking when viewed separately,
but with all of them together, she was practically the goddess of beauty. Maru, who
admired her like he was admiring a splendid piece of art, suddenly came to himself.
She wasn’t a sculpture. Though, she wasn’t human either. Would she have emotions
then?

“What were you doing?” the woman asked as she looked at his desk.

“I thought people with your job all knew? I thought you were watching my every
action.”

He blinked once. The woman, who was on the bed, was now right next to him,
reading a memo in her hand. From up close, her skin looked like semi-translucent
glass. He felt like it would be hard and cold like glass instead of soft like real skin.
The moment he realized that she was different, the ‘mysterious beauty’ about her
vanished, giving him a look at her true appearance. The side of the face was familiar
to him. He could smell something human from her. The smell wafting into his nose
was remembered by his brain cells.

“Have we seen each other before?”

He remembered back to the time he awkwardly asked for her number. It was a rather
crude question and one that was meaningless, but he had to do it. A sharp sense of
deja vu. Something told him that she was a woman he had seen before. And from real
close too.

“Looks like you forgot that I’m the first person you saw after you died.”

She sounded like how a lady at the counter would give him a receipt. Her words
didn’t contain any emotions and she looked expressionless as well.

“Why are you writing down things like that?”

“Am I obligated to say it?”

“You aren’t, but I’m personally curious as to why you’re writing down such things.”

“If it’s something personal, I guess I don’t need to answer you.”

Only after he said those words did Maru realize that he was strangely uncooperative
with her. Her monotone words put him off. Why? - he asked that question to himself.
The answer came quickly. It was because of her unkind-sounding words.

It was strange. Why did he feel awkward and even feel a faint sense of rage when he
experienced her cold attitude even though he didn’t have any specific relationship
with her? She wasn’t someone who worked in the service industry. Her being unkind
should not be a target of rage. A fire was set to his emotions and it burned in a
strange direction that was hard to describe. However, Maru was also able to derive
another feeling. He felt disappointed, enraged, and even sad that she spoke without
even looking at him.

She started reading other memos. Does she, a spiritual being, read text word by word
like people did? She took quite a long time to read a piece of text written on a small
piece of paper.

“You were born again.”

“I was.”

“The fact that you were born again means that your previous life is a thing of the
distant past. The past isn’t something you can change just because you look back.”

“That sounds about right.”

“It’s the same for this life as well. Even if you look back at the past, you will not gain
anything. As someone who lived another life, you should be aware of the importance
of preparing for a better tomorrow rather than looking back and regretting the past.”

“I know. But isn’t it strange? Something I wrote a mere two years ago suddenly feels
strange, and I can’t understand the actions I took back then. Yes, since this is my new
chance at life, going forward is very important. But that doesn’t mean that I can
abandon the past entirely. It is extremely iffy to know that there is a me that I don’t
know of.”

“Everyone changes with time. They have to change with time. What’s so important
about the past? You are walking down the correct path right now. You should have
your hands full going forward. Why do you keep minding something that has passed
already?”

“It may have passed already, but ultimately, they lie on the same path. If I keep
walking when I don’t even know that my trajectory has veered a little, I might end up
having regrets. Once that happens, I won’t be able to do anything, so that’s why I’m
trying to think about it now.”

“Time is not continuous. It’s discrete. That’s why looking at the past is something
meaningless. You already have plenty of experience, don’t you? You are going to run
out of time even if you move forward with your experiences as the basis. Why do you
keep looking back? You are going on the right path. You should believe that and…”

For a brief moment, Maru saw a tinge of red on her pale face. The way she expressed
a big of vexation and discomfort made her, someone who had transcended humanity,
human again.

Maru reached out and took away the memo in her hands.

“Whatever I do, it is my freedom to do so.”

“No, your life is something that someone else gave you. Is there a freedom to a life
yielded to you?”

“Then take it back. I feel incredibly confused and displeased right now. Just what are
you planning to say? Is the reason you came here to mock me for wrestling with my
past? Or is there a reason that I can’t look back at my history?”
Her overbearing eyes closed before opening again. The humanity about her that was
faint but definitely present, had disappeared at once. She seemed to have changed
into god’s messenger: someone flawless and perfect.

“Okay then. I’m not qualified to say anything. But please, do keep something in mind:
there is no meaning to the things that have already happened. The world is strict,
and you should have your hands full trying to move forward.”

“You don’t need to worry about that. I can take care of myself.”

“I’m sure you can. Like what you just said, I hope you can take care of only yourself.”

She looked at the memos before turning around. Her body slowly turned translucent.
Just before she disappeared, she spoke at the last moment,

“It was not my intention to get annoyed at you. I’m sorry.”

Her body completely disappeared. Maru put down the memo in his hand on the desk.

“Oppa, you should eat some snacks.”

Just as he was analyzing her words and actions on his bed, he could hear Bada’s
words. He opened the door and came out to the living room.

“Were you calling someone?”

“No.”

“Really? Then what were you doing by yourself?”

“What else? I was practicing my lines,” Maru said with a smile.

He put a snack in his mouth and bit on it. He could hear a short snap. What was she
trying to say? Her lips, voice, and image kept playing repeatedly in his mind. The
parts of his brain responsible for memory were trying their best to capture her
figure.

“Did something happen?” Bada asked.

Maru looked at the stick-shaped snack in his hands. The chocolate part had long
since disappeared in his mouth. He realized that he was clattering his teeth in empty
air. It was natural for Bada to ask if something was up.

“If you’re sleepy, you should go to sleep. I’ll eat these in your stead.”

Bada pulled the basket over to her side. Maru told her to eat moderately before
returning to his room.

Everything in the world was tied by the laws of cause and effect. His expression of
emotions during the day and her appearance shouldn’t be coincidental. Did the gods
not look favorably on the people who came back to life and were being clingy to their
history? Or was something he was not allowed to know buried under the 2 years'
worth of time?

Maru lifted up his memo and shone it against the light.

“Is something happening?” he wondered to himself in a small voice as he looked at

the semi-translucent memo.

***

“An audition?”

“Yes. I thought that the role fits you so I brought it over. If you like it, then you should
try it. Trying an audition is also a form of experience.”

Gyeonmi gave her a stack of A4 papers in a clear file. When she received it and
opened it, she saw a scenario, the characters appearing in it, as well as the script.

“Can I have a look?”

“It’s not like you’re going to tell other people about it, are you?”

Gaeul started reading the scenario. The story was that of many people getting
trapped under a collapsing building, relying on each other while waiting for rescue,
and beginning to suspect each other, before ultimately reaching their demise.

She looked at the list of characters.

“I don’t see a high school girl here though?”

“Because there isn’t one among the leading and supporting roles. Were you
expecting one of those?” Gyeonmi asked with a smile. Gaeul felt slightly
embarrassed.

“But don’t be too disappointed. It’s a minor role that gives off a deep impression at
the beginning of the story. It should be quite hard because the act is quite dynamic,
but if you do it well, you will be able to make yourself known. Have a look at scene
68.”

Gaeul flipped through the script to find scene 68.

-Scene 68. Inside a collapsed building.

A schoolgirl has a leg trapped under debris. She breathes heavily while struggling in
pain. In the complete darkness, the camera shows the whole scene. The girl groans
before finding signs of cracks. Amidst the silence, she could start to hear cracks.
Happy then appears.

“What’s Happy?”

“The name of a dog.”

“Ah, a dog.”

Gaeul nodded and kept reading on.

-Seeing Happy approach with big, clear eyes, the girl feels relieved for a moment
before seeing an iron rod starting to bend. The building is about to collapse at any
moment. The girl shouts at Happy, who approached her. Happy runs away startled.
From the view of Happy, the building debris, which was maintaining a delicate
balance, could be seen falling on the girl.

Gaeul pictured the scene in her head. The appearance of a dog just as she was about
to die. The meaning the dog had should be very special amidst extreme pain and
unease. She should have wanted the dog close to her, but the girl knew that the
building was going to collapse. How would the girl feel when she shouts at a dog to
run away at the last moment? Just imagining such a scene made her feel suffocated.

“You would have to see the final product to be sure, but you’ll be on screen for 30
seconds by yourself at the very least. It’s not ordinary for a nameless role to take up
so much time in a movie. This film director places importance on human love, so as
long as the acting is up to par, he’ll put you on the screen. That is, if your acting is up
to par.”

“Do you think I have the potential, teacher?”

Gyeonmi replied as she rubbed her wrist.

“Gaeul, I’m not an incompetent woman who gives others false hope. You definitely
have the potential. When I watch you act these days, I feel like you should be able to
digest dynamic acts like this quite well. How about it? Are you going to try?”

“Of course I am. I want to do it.”

“That’s the kind of attitude I like. The audition for this role will probably be done
through the connections of the director. Prepare this act and one free act. Even if you
don’t win that role, you might be able to get another role if you manage to impress
the director, so try your best.”

“Yes!”

An audition for a film. Gaeul felt her heart racing. She had to show violent struggling
and also the emotional part of shouting at the dog at the last moment. As the change
in emotion was quite big, if she could do it well, she might be able to leave behind a
deep impression.

“For the time being, try focusing on that script. The audition is in two weeks, but it
might get pulled ahead. That’s why you should try focusing on different types of pain
per day. Go into as much detail as possible. Think about how you’re going to express
the pain of your leg being crushed, and what happens to people’s expressions when
they experience pain that is beyond their scope of handling. This director pays a lot
of attention to things like that.”

“I’ll do my best.”

“You also might want to look into documentaries about people in wards. There’s
nothing more educational than learning what reality is like. Do your best to prepare.
I already told the director that you’re someone I cherish.”

“Really?”
Gyeonmi smiled faintly and stood up.

“Anyway, Lee Heewon, where is this guy slacking again?”

“He’s probably on the rooftop. Should I call him?”

“Tell him to come down if he doesn’t want me to beat him to death.”

“Yes, teacher.”

Gaeul put the script against her chest as she started to make the call.
“So you’re shooting a film?”

“Yes, grandfather. I’m playing the lead role,” replied Kang Giwoo politely as he put
down his spoon.

His grandfather scooped a little of the radish soup with his spoon and put it in his
mouth. Giwoo watched as his grandfather’s chin moved slowly. His grandfather’s
spoon then headed to the multigrain rice. He scooped out enough for just half of his
spoon before putting it in his mouth. While his grandfather savored the rice, Giwoo
waited as he placed his hands on his lap.

“The lead role, good. Since you’re doing it, you might as well be the main character.”

“Yes.”

“Oh, yes. Isn’t Jaeho working as an actor too?”

“Yes, Jaeho is also working in the entertainment industry.”

“What was his stage name again? Sooil?”

“He goes by the name Yoo Sooil.”

“Sheesh, I never knew that chairman Lee would let his grandchildren be
entertainers.”

“I’m not sure because I don’t meet him that often, but from what Eunjoo-noona is
saying, his house still seems to be against it.”

“If a man has made up his mind, he should try at least once. Jaeho, that boy, his eyes
looked smart, so I’m sure he’s doing well.”

Giwoo replied ‘yes’. His grandfather’s words were always correct. It was on the level
of foretelling. Giwoo admired his grandfather for his exceptional judgment and
decisiveness.
“Eunjoo, that girl, she’s pretty decent for being a girl. They say a hen crying means
doom for that household, but it should be fine for a girl of her caliber to cry. Giwoo,
how about it? I think she’s not so bad to be your companion.”

“Eunjoo-noona isn’t ordinary. She probably still treats me like a child.”

His grandfather smiled pleasantly.

“Yes. Chairman Lee’s blood won’t go anywhere. Both his daughter and his
granddaughter. They would be generals if they joined the military.”

“Last time I met her, Eunjoo-noona said she wants to meet you, grandfather.
Apparently, she got her hands on some good wine.”

“Tell her to visit any time.”

His grandfather nodded before continuing his meal. After making sure that he did
not have further questions to ask, Giwoo picked up his spoon again. He filled just half
of his spoon like his grandfather did, remembering his grandfather’s words: don’t
put too little because it will make you look poor but don’t put too much because it
will make you look greedy. His grandfather’s spoon was an old iron spoon. Compared
to a normal spoon, the head was more concave compared to other normal spoons,
and the handle was rough, making it look bad compared to factory-made spoons.
But, while his grandfather was okay with changing out anything else, he never
changed his spoon.

“Giwoo.”

“Yes, grandfather.”

“It’s up to you to do what you want, but you have to look after your health at all costs,
okay?”

“I will bear that in mind.”

“Yes, yes. Losing health means losing everything. You must be healthy in order to
look around you. You must chew your food before swallowing, and wash your hands
after going o…”

Ugh - a groan interrupted his words. Giwoo didn’t mind, but his grandfather’s face
had turned stiff.

“Junior director Kim.”

His grandfather put down his spoon.

“I-I’m sorry.”

“Junior director Kim. You’ve worked with me for years. Can you still not fix that habit
of yours? Who am I talking to? I’m talking to my cute little grandson, aren’t I?”

“Y-yes. I’m sorry, sir. I subconsciously…”

Giwoo looked at junior director Kim, who was kneeling next to the dining table,
through the corner of his eyes. It had only been an hour. He found kneeling for
merely an hour[1] so hard that he twisted his body and ended up making a sound.
He was pathetic. He had been serving his grandfather for months, yet he couldn’t
even keep his table manners.

His grandfather took his spoon and went to the kitchen. After hearing running water,
junior director Kim became shocked and shouted ‘sorry’. Giwoo inwardly clicked his
tongue. He was so stupid. If he made a mistake, he should get punished for it, yet he
was trying to make do with an apology. He needed a beating.

After shaking off the water on the spoon, his grandfather stood in front of junior
director Kim.

“Junior director Kim, you can do better, can’t you?”

The spoon was placed on the ground. While kneeling down, junior director Kim
started shaking. Giwoo held back from letting a smile creep onto his face. He didn’t
want to become a rude boy in front of his grandfather.

Junior director Kim bashed his head against the handle of the spoon. Thud- a heavy
thump resonated across the ground. Giwoo looked at the rough curves of the handle.
Whenever junior director Kim bashed his head on it, the curvature of the spoon
changed little by little. How many foreheads have gone through that spoon? He
started feeling admiration for his grandfather. Giwoo looked at his own spoon.
Perhaps it wasn’t a bad idea to get one ready right now.
His grandfather spoke again when junior director Kim’s forehead started bleeding,

“Enough. You are getting on with age, so I should give you proper treatment.”

“Thank you, chairman.”

Just as junior director Kim picked up the bent spoon with both of his hands, he put it
back down again.

“Chairman, the spoon is a little bent, allow me to straighten it back out.”

“This is why I cherish you, junior director Kim.”

His grandfather patted junior director Kim on the head like how he would treat a
child. Junior director Kim flipped the spoon over and started bashing his head on it
until the curved handle became flat again.

After washing the spoon and placing it on the table again, junior director Kim bowed
before going away.

“Giwoo, people, you know, are very sneaky. Give them an inch, and they will try to
take a mile. They don’t know their graces.”

His grandfather picked up his spoon and looked at all sides of it.

“But objects are honest. Just look at this spoon. This one has never betrayed me. It
has always made those arrogant, bow their heads to me.”

Giwoo nodded.

“Sometimes, you come across people who are mistaken. They are strange creatures
that believe that they are more precious than objects because they are people. That’s
because they are not educated properly. If people were more important than objects,
people like this grandfather of yours would have long since been thrown out onto
the streets.”

After looking at the spoon with sharp eyes, his grandfather eventually put on a
gentle smile.

“Giwoo, people like us must be able to discern the sea of objects very properly. And
we must also know how to handle people like objects. It does not matter where you
are. Regardless of your position, you must know how to order others. That is the
duty of those who own objects. You must never let the foolish ones make a mistake. If
you let the stupid people be, society will become a mess.”

“Yes, grandfather,” Giwoo replied as he looked at the old spoon.

***

“When does the shoot start?” asked Ahn Yeseul, who sat next to him.

Giwoo accepted the yuja tea that she gave him and replied,

“I think the crank-in will be within the year. I’m not sure about the details, but since
the background is set in winter, it’ll probably start before the season passes.”

“You said it was a disaster film, right?”

“That’s the frame, but the plot is closer to a thriller. The content is really good. I read
it a few times, and I keep getting absorbed in it.”

“That sounds good. I want to try acting in a film, but I don’t have the skills.”

“Yeseul, you are more than good enough. I’m sure you’ll be able to do it if you have
the opportunity.”

Giwoo smiled and put the cup against his mouth. Talkative women were annoying to
deal with. They lacked wits, so the conversation could drag on limitlessly. She
seemed to think that her smile was her charming point, but to Giwoo, she looked
stupid no matter how he looked at her. If possible, he wanted to splash this hot yuja
tea over her face to stop her from grinning, but he decided to hold back since it
would be such a waste of tea.

“Uhm, Giwoo.”

“What?”

“It’s my birthday the day after tomorrow. Can you come?”

“To what?”
“What else? My birthday party of course. I’m going to rent a party hall and invite
some of my close friends to play around. You should come over too,” Yeseul said as
she moved closer.

Giwoo maintained his smile and scanned her from top to bottom. Was this girl not
capable of differentiating drama from reality? He had realized that she was showing
more than just goodwill towards him from a while ago. She seemed to like him. It
seemed that romantic feelings blossomed inside her just because they hugged and
kissed once in the drama. He, on the other hand, just found it absurd.

“I don’t think the day after tomorrow is a good time.”

“Why? Do you have a shoot?”

“I have something to do.”

Yeseul smiled awkwardly. She looked away while saying that it was okay, but she
clearly seemed disappointed. Giwoo thought that this was enough and put his hand
on top of hers.

“But it’s your birthday, so I can’t be the one to miss it, right? I’ll try to make some
time.”

“No, it’s really okay. You can’t miss your work because of me.”

“But I want to go.”

He tapped the back of her hand with his fingers. He could see Yeseul flinch before
relaxing her expression. The way she was swayed by her emotions without using her
head was the stereotypical example of a foolish person. She was such an easy thing
to toy with. There were people worse than objects all over this world.

“Can you really come?”

“Just text me about the details. I’ll definitely make it.”

“Thanks. It’ll be a great party.”

His grandfather once said that having the other party say ‘thanks’ would mean that
he would be in the superior position in the relationship. Giwoo didn’t consider
Yeseul someone he needed; however, he believed that she would be a decent lackey
that he could make use of some time. It was a trivial investment towards a better
tomorrow.

“It’s starting to get cold.”

Park Jichan arrived. Giwoo greeted him with a smile. Jichan approached him and
started talking about what happened yesterday even though no one told him to.
When Jichan looked around cautiously, Giwoo signaled to him that he was listening.
After receiving that signal, Jichan became more excited and talked about all sorts of
things. Giwoo looked at Jichan, who rejoiced at every one of his reactions, and
thought about junior director Kim. The sense of superiority that seeped into him felt
thrilling.

Everyone on the set welcomed him. As long as he acted politely, the others created
good rumors about him and raised everyone’s opinions of the actor known as Kang
Giwoo. How convenient tools could they be? Using money to promote himself was
very inefficient and expensive, but with people, it became possible to promote
himself free of charge. Seeing people being toyed around with just a few words from
him made him realize that his grandfather’s words were entirely correct.

As he was listening to Jichan’s words with a smile, something that vexed him entered
his eyes. That boy, who was walking with a script in hand, was the only person Giwoo
avoided. If his grandfather found out what happened between the two of them, he
too would have had to kowtow towards that spoon. The people that his grandfather
hated second most were incompetent people, while the people that his grandfather
hated the very most were incompetent family members.

When it came to Han Maru, things didn’t go the way he expected them to. Maru had
noticed the ‘play’ like he was someone who could read many moves ahead and even
threatened him. For the first time ever, Giwoo lowered his gaze in front of someone.
It was a shameful history and a great humiliation. And also, there was fear. Fear
became the fertilizer for hatred. Giwoo felt burning hatred whenever he saw Maru,
but he couldn’t project it. He wasn’t someone foolish who would get swayed by
emotions after all.

Until some time ago, there wasn’t a big problem. Maru was someone who only raised
his edge when he touched him, so he could just ignore him.
“Kang Giwoo, let’s go through lines together.”

Maru approached him with a bright smile. Giwoo stood up while trying to hide his
rotting feelings. If he was mocking him, it would be better. It would be
understandable at least. He smiled and looked at Maru’s face. The smile on this guy’s
face was relaxed to the point that he couldn’t think of this guy as the same person as
the cold man from before. He looked really pure without any evil intentions.

Giwoo felt confused. At first, he felt like Maru was toying with him. After some time
passed, he realized that he wasn’t toying with him and that he truly wanted to
become close to him. Giwoo couldn’t believe it. The eyes Han Maru showed him that
day were similar to his grandfather’s. He flinched back due to the presence that was
similar to a god for him, but the current Han Maru looked like all the other idiots he
could toy with.

Was it a trap? Or did he want something else?

“Sounds good. Let’s practice.”

Giwoo went along with him for now. He had to stay docile before he found out what
was on the other guy’s mind.
“You’re pretty diligent. I thought you were going to quit school just like that.”

“I haven’t completely decided yet. I didn’t tell the teachers because I felt like quitting
school like this isn’t right.”

“It’s up to you to do what you want, but I don’t think quitting school is a good idea. If
you’re having a hard time to the point that you have to start working immediately,
why don’t you tell the others about it? If we collect a few tens of thousands of won
per person, you should be able to fend off immediate trouble.”

“I don’t want to go to school if it means bringing harm to others. Above all, I won’t be
able to last long like that. If I get contacted about work tomorrow, I might quit school
right then.”

Giwoo looked at Maru as he calmed down his breathing. He was more serious when
he was practicing. A slight change occurred in Maru’s expression. He remembered
that slight change in facial muscles and tried imitating it. The muscles around his left
cheekbone didn’t follow his will properly. It would look slightly different if he looked
at a mirror.

To steal, he had to be able to perfectly imitate. Giwoo felt a sense of superiority when
he did a better act than the original creator after finding flaws and fixing them. He
had stolen actor Lee Hyuk’s acting a long time ago and made it completely his. When
he realized that acting was nothing different from memorization, Giwoo felt that he
would become successful. There was no failure on this path after all.

“I think that should do. I hope we don’t get any NGs during the real run,” Maru said.

Giwoo smiled and started doing simulations in his mind to probe this guy out. His
grandfather once said that people were like stones and would not change if left
alone. He had to find out what changed Maru. Whether it was goodwill or ill intent,
he would feel at ease if he found out what Maru’s intentions were.

“How's it going with the other shoot?”

“The director there is full of energy. Unlike director Park Hoon, who keeps watch
from afar, that director approaches the actors and discusses with them. There’s so
much energy that I’m having a hard time following.”

“It must be bustling.”

“Yes. Thanks to the producer being like that, everyone’s all laughing.”

“That sounds fun, shooting with a director like that.”

“Yeah, it is.”

The conversation was very smooth. Maru didn’t look like he was wary. Giwoo felt
nervous. He felt that those who approached him with a smile were much harder to
deal with than those bearing their fangs. Was he planning to threaten him to do
something if he made a mistake with his words?

No, Maru knew about that ‘play’ already. While not many people would believe such
a thing, he had indeed done some things, and people would start suspecting the
person known as Kang Giwoo. That would tarnish his reputation. If Maru was still
the same guy that told him to stay quiet with eyes that looked similar to his
grandfather’s, he would definitely have done so.

What was the reason behind his current actions then? - Giwoo’s thoughts started
straying. What if Maru didn’t have any malicious intentions and was purely trying to
get close to him? There is no such thing as implausible - these were his grandfather’s
words.

“You know, about last time.”

He spoke first. If this guy pretended not to know anything, it would mean that he was
up to something.

“Last time? Oh, when I told you off?”

He was unexpectedly blunt about it. Giwoo felt his lips go dry. He thought that Maru
would twist his words at least once.

“Was it a mistake? I thought we were done after that.”

Maru nodded.

“I guess I was a bit too strong back then. You must have had your circumstances. Of
course, you made a mistake. Using others to bully adults who can’t resist is not a
good thing to do.”

“I’m repenting.”

“I know. There’s a sense of rebellion in kids our age, right? You want to stand out,
which can be by rebelling against adults. I’m sure your actions were a part of that.”

Giwoo found it harder and harder to maintain his smile. He was angry that his
graceful ‘plays’ were being sugar-coated as some childish pranks. If possible, he
wanted to twist that mouth of his. He also thought about the spoon handle. It would
be quite a sight to see Maru bashing his head against rocky sand.

“Y-you understand me, I see,” he said while barely suppressing his emotions.

Maru wasn’t looking at him with frosty eyes. Was he practicing universal, agape love
or something? The Han Maru who showed the epitome of distrust towards humanity
didn’t seem like the same person in front of him right now.

“You don’t do that these days, do you?”

“Of course not. I’ve gotten myself together. I regretted my actions a lot after thinking
about your words for a while. I think you were right. Maybe I was in a rebellious
phase.”

“Yes, everyone makes mistakes like that. What’s important is to repent after you
made a mistake.”

“Do you really think so?”

“Of course. There aren’t people who do not change. People are bound to change if
they strive to change for the better. I mean, you’ve changed and are leading a better
life.”

“That’s true.”

He laughed his ass off when he got a call from his friend yesterday about how he
trampled the hands of his driver, but there wasn’t a need to reveal that right now.

“So don’t avoid my eyes when we meet eyes in the future. You make me all sorry.”

“I thought you hated me.”

“I was a little tired back then. I should have talked to you about it slowly. I don’t
know why I did that either. You’re such a decent kid too.”

Maru turned around, telling him good luck with the shoot. Giwoo touched his lips. It
didn’t seem like Maru was planning a smokescreen tactic. Giwoo had seen that
stupid smile several times before. It looked similar to the smiles of his idiotic peers
that wanted to befriend him. Where did that chilling gaze go?

If that was an act though - Giwoo opened himself up to that possibility. Maru might
have set up traps in a place he didn’t know. Pushing other peoples into these ‘plays’
with the excuse to ‘get close’ was his specialty.

“What a cocky bastard.”

He changed his mind when he saw that smiling face. There was no way Maru truly
wanted to get close to him. They say the devil comes with a smile. He could not be
fooled by that spiteful face.

“Giwoo, did something happen?”

Giwoo turned around. He saw Yeseul standing there with a worried face. Annoyance
surged within him. Who are you to worry about me?

“Did you want something to happen to me?”

“N-no, I didn’t mean it like that.”

Yeseul looked at him without any will to fight back or put up her defenses. She was
like a puppy being punished. Yes, this should be the correct way. Weak and stupid
people had to look up to those higher up with this kind of attitude.

He felt like the humiliation he got from Maru was being washed away. Giwoo
immediately put on a pleasant smile.
“Sorry about that, I couldn’t hold back my emotions because I was too absorbed in
the script. You know, right? My character has a really heavy mood these days.”

“Is that what it was? I almost thought you were angry at me. But Giwoo, you’re really
good at acting. I think you’re improving day after day.”

“I’m not that good. In fact, Yeseul, you are better than me. The director doesn’t give
you any comments. From how I still get an earful, I still have a long way to go.”

“That’s because the director expects a lot from you.”

Seeing Yeseul doing her best to buy his goodwill, Giwoo felt like everything had
returned to the way it should be. His position, his authority, his feelings… if there
was one flaw…

“Giwoo, let’s go.”

Giwoo looked at Maru in the distance before turning around. If an opportunity came,
he would definitely do something about him.

***

The prickly gaze on him disappeared. Maru scraped the back of his upper teeth with
his tongue. Giwoo’s reaction was outside of his expectations. He thought that Giwoo
would at least be repenting, but he realized something from his gaze and expression
just now. Forget guilty conscience, he was gritting his teeth to get revenge.

Maru opened his notepad. He brought his pen tip to the place where Kang Giwoo’s
name was written: not friendly; no evidence suggests he has changed; it is unclear
why he looked good until now.

In this situation where he couldn’t clearly remember the basis of his past actions, the
only thing he could do was to re-analyze his own relationships with those around
him. Resolving the acting club’s matters efficiently instead of pursuing a warm
ending, driving Geunseok into a corner, not protecting Yurim. There were many
other incidents where he put up a wall around his relationships in the past and
thought about benefits and losses so meticulously. How much has he changed since
then?

He chose Giwoo in order to calculate the changes that occurred within him. Giwoo
was someone who enjoyed bullying the defenseless. He even made his own group
and gave out orders. He was just that meticulous and evil.

While he was a bad boy, Maru believed that he should have changed now that he
knew his wrongs, and he ‘believed’ in him to have changed himself. Before he
discovered the disparity in his history, this was the thought he had when looking at
Giwoo: he just goes a little too far with his pranks, but he’s not a bad kid at heart.

That thought made a chill run down behind his back. As to why that happened, he
did not know.

He did not think that Giwoo was a bad kid. Since he was young, it was natural for him
to make mistakes, and he deeply believed that people grew up that way. What
generated such beliefs in him? He thought about that fundamental question. Maru
kept asking and answering his own questions. He thought that it was natural for him
to believe in others because he believed in others before he came back to life.

Then what was the identity of this sense of disgust? Why did he find it so terrifying
that he believed in Giwoo?

He felt like emotions were split into two within himself and were at a war; they were
tearing each other apart. The distrust and blind faith towards humans created a
sharp conflict.

-There’s a storm in your heart.

The masked man had spoken.

“Don’t you know something about this? I feel really confused right now. Emotions I
don’t know where they came from are surging inside me. I have a strong urge that I
cannot trust Kang Giwoo at all. I believed in him. He’s a partner that keeps this
drama together after all. I believed that he had repented and changed. But the Giwoo
I just saw tried to fool me. He probably thinks that he glossed over it quite well, but I
saw it clearly. I don’t think that was a mistake. It’s closer to conviction. I’m sure he’s
still repeating that trashy behavior.”

-I have nothing to tell you. However, there is something I do want to ask.

“What is it?”
-Just like that woman said, is there really a need to be so hung up on your past? It’s
the past you forgot after all.

“Just because I forgot it doesn’t mean that it disappeared.”

-Don’t you think that the fact that you forgot about it means that it’s not important?

“Maybe, but the more I dig into this, the stranger it becomes.”

-Mr. Han Maru.

“Yes?”

-Don’t try too hard. The waves of forgetfulness are not something that human
strength can hold back. I also tried my best before not to forget, to transmit to you as
much as I can. But it didn’t work. After I painfully saw for myself that it’s useless, I
didn’t know what’s right or wrong anymore. I’m tired of watching, and I might be
tired of getting tired.

It wasn’t the energetic voice of the masked man. His voice sounded vain as though he
had seen the end of the world. It was the skepticism of one who had all of his
expectations betrayed, the resignation of someone who had lost hope, and the vanity
where even despair felt like a luxury. The masked man laughed dryly.

“I will not become tired.”

-Everyone was like that.

“I will not forget.”

-There is no one who forgot because they wanted to.

Maru could hear a clock ticking noise from somewhere. The masked man’s sigh could
be heard on top of it.

-Mr. Han Maru.

“Yes.”

-Maybe it’s a good thing to forget. Just one more time, just this one time - perhaps it’s
these decisions within you that caused the problem to become so big in the first
place. Perhaps you became unable to forget what you need to forget because of the
sin of not letting go when you need to let go.

“Why do I need to let go? Is it absolutely necessary that I forget?”

-There is a word that everyone talks about in the world, ‘flow’. Think about it. Think
about whether being born again is according to or against that ‘flow’. Mr. Han Maru.
The reason you find your memories strange and why you can’t understand your past
actions is maybe because that’s just how the flow is. Perhaps God is setting right
what’s twisted and wrong. You are a lucky person. You got to live again, didn’t you?
So why don’t you give up on suspecting? It’ll make your life a lot easier just as that
woman said.

Tick- the ticking noise stopped. The masked man stayed silent for a bit before
making his cheerful laugh again.

-Well, that’s how it is. Mr. Han Maru, don’t think too much. You’ve done plenty well
until now. I know because I’ve been watching you from the side. Maybe it’s not a bad
thing to forget about it now.

The moment he heard those words, Maru felt like everything became meaningless.
Why was there a need to make himself tired by suspecting other people? What was
the benefit in comparing his previous actions to his current ones? After that ticking
noise stopped, he felt like his head became numb. He felt like it wouldn’t be so bad to
forget about it.

Just then……

He remembered a hum, it was a song he had heard a long time ago. It was a familiar
humming song that he had heard not in this life, but before he died. His hands
clenched tighter. He grabbed the notepad he had half-let go. He tied a rope around
the scattering memories.

“Is forgetting, really according to that ‘flow’?”

The masked man forgot about when he started wearing a mask. Was it the 13th or
the 14th? He couldn’t remember because it had been such a long time. Perhaps he
didn’t want to remember.

He did not know what was happening for a while after his consciousness spurred
into life. He was earnestly living his life after coming back to life, but he died due to a
sudden accident. Was it really over now? Was he finally reaching either heaven or
hell? In a space without light nor darkness, in a place where the sense of time was
distant, he wandered around. He didn’t know whether it was for just an instant or for
a whole eternity because his senses had been isolated.

When he realized that a change occurred within him, the masked man was within
‘Han Maru’. He wondered what was happening. I am Han Maru. Who is the owner of
this body? That was his meeting with the first Han Maru.

The first Han Maru had succeeded the masked man’s memories. He rejoiced at his
second life and even vowed to live his new life for the sake of his wife. The masked
man screamed. He wanted to talk to the living and breathing Han Maru at that time.

His voice did not reach. The dark stage existed within Han Maru but was surrounded
by a thick wall. The only thing the masked man could do was to keep watching. He
watched Han Maru’s first life with a cautious mind. He cheered for the living Han
Maru if he made the right choice and groaned whenever he stepped onto something
he should not step on. The masked man did not know why he had split off from the
entity known as Han Maru, but he cheered on for the Han Maru living in that era
regardless. It was all thanks to the baseless belief that the living Maru’s happiness
would be the same as his own. That belief was his last hope and the last safehouse
that prevented him from mentally breaking down.

When the first Han Maru met his wife, became affectionate, confessed, and
whispered love, the masked man closed his eyes for the first time. He couldn’t bear
to watch. The fact that her eyes were looking at another man agonized him. It was a
strange dilemma. The man his wife was looking at was indeed Han Maru, but that
Han Maru was not him. The masked man thought about the things that he started
worrying about when he first found himself within the ‘first Han Maru’: why did I
split off and why am I here?

The first Han Maru had sexual intercourse with his wife. The first Han Maru’s
emotions splashed into the masked man’s space like waves. Her breathing sounds,
her smell, and her moans with them.

The masked man only had one thought in his mind: I want to disappear. His wish was
not fulfilled.

Time kept ticking. The first Han Maru managed to get himself a great position in his
company thanks to the social skills he gained in his previous life. His promotion was
set in stone. As though to prove that it wasn’t just misfortune that happened in
series, the first Han Maru encountered a series of fortunate events. His wife became
pregnant.

By that time, the masked man realized that the first Han Maru’s state had changed a
lot compared to before. The reason was simple. His memories had vaporized. He
wasn’t that surprised that his memories disappeared as he already knew about it
from the ‘woman in a white suit’, but there was something different about the
disappearing memories. The memories didn’t become faint, they were completely
changed. Eventually, he wouldn’t remember the fact that he had revived at all.

Perhaps that was god’s will to make him lead an ordinary life - the masked man
thought so at least. He had long since given up on thinking about these things deeply,
so he arrived at a conclusion pretty quickly. He found it laughable that he had to
watch the success and happiness of someone that was himself yet not himself, while
he himself was in a state that was neither human nor ghost. There was only one
thing he wanted to know - when was this life going to end?

The day arrived when the first Han Maru forgot about the fact that he had revived at
all. That day was a week after Han Maru had managed to win a big contract, and it
was also the day his child became one year old.

The masked man’s only joy in life was to watch the daughter that looked just like the
wife. Even amidst the guilt, despair, and unease, he was able to put down all of his
worries when he looked at Gaeul[1], who looked just like his wife. Babies were a
product of miracles. He realized every day that those words weren’t wrong.
The first Han Maru’s life seemed to be sailing smoothly. He was an acknowledged
employee at work, a good husband at home, and a splendid father. There were very
few things that could break such a perfect life. Who could destroy this family?

The masked man then came across Han Maru, lying on the ground after having been
hit by a car. A car rushed into him when he was seeing the teacher out after his
daughter’s one-year birthday.

The masked man saw the stifling malice. The car accident was too impossible to
happen. While he was close to the road, the place Han Maru was standing on was the
pavement. It felt as though death had made his way out to get him. While watching
his wife cry out in horror, the world became distant. He had returned to that space
where he could feel nothing again.

A sense of fear overwhelmed him. The fact that he had to be here by himself in this
meaningless space made him afraid, but what made him even more afraid was the
life that might begin once again. He prayed that it wasn’t like that. He prayed that he
would be judged at the end of the world and sent to heaven or hell, where he could
settle down.

When his senses returned, the masked man grit his teeth at the vanity of his prayers.
His hairs stood on end due to the mercilessness of god. The second Han Maru was
preparing his new life after having succeeded the memories of his first one.

The masked man looked at the woman in a white suit standing in between the
boundary of life and death. The woman who offered him the chance to come back to
life was giving the second Han Maru the same opportunity in the same space. He
thought that he was cursed to repeat his time over and over again. He was going to
live the life of a hamster in a hamster wheel whose time didn’t move forward even by
one second.

The second Han Maru did not follow the life of the first Han Maru. He had decided to
become an actor, and he became successful with incredible luck and opportunity. He
met his wife during that process and shared their love.

40 years. That was the time that the masked man had watched the lives of the first
and second Han Marus. The second Han Maru also died due to an accident. It was on
his pretty daughter’s birthday.
He sent off the third, fourth, and fifth Han Marus.

During that process, the masked man came to a realization. It wasn’t that the same
time was being repeated over and over again. While time returned to 2003, when
Maru was in his 1st year of high school, the time for those existing outside life and
death kept flowing.

The masked man’s attention fell on the woman in a white suit. He wanted to know
why she was committing such terrible things. She should be aware of everything.
Unfortunately, he didn’t have a way of reaching out to her. It was hard to ask her a
question when he couldn’t even talk to himself.

The masked man became proactive. He had sent off five Marus while he was a
complete observer, but from the sixth onwards, he called out to Han Maru with all of
his might.

The voice that didn’t seem like it would reach, finally reached. He had finally
interacted with someone else after 80 years. Though, that ‘someone else’ was
himself, he rejoiced that he could have a conversation.

The sixth Han Maru was startled upon seeing a man with the same face as him. The
masked man wanted to explain everything slowly, but he could not say that the
reincarnation was being repeated. Every time he tried to say the truth about coming
back to life, an invisible hand blocked his mouth.

As frustrated as he was, the masked man did his best. He told Maru to look around
carefully when he thought that he had succeeded. He believed that this unending life
would change if he prevented accidental deaths and Maru died in peace.

“Why do you have the same face as me?”

His expectations shattered when the sixth Maru turned thirty-three. His memories
had been altered by someone. The years of talking to each other like friends had
disappeared overnight.

Not long later, the sixth Maru died. The masked man did not give up. The seventh,
eighth, ninth, tenth, eleventh, twelfth, thirteenth.

“Who are you? Why do you wear a mask?”

The masked man started wearing a mask and he did not speak anymore. He did not
reveal everything. He had come to a realization that the only thing a hamster could
do inside a hamster wheel was to walk on the same spot.

A time longer than 200 years forced him to make a decision. He would either
collapse mentally or become numb to everything. The masked man chose to become
an indifferent observer. A good way to endure the punishment was to otherize
himself. The one being whipped there is not me - thinking that was enough to make
him feel relieved.

Time kept passing. Han Maru lived and died. The ending was always Han Maru’s
death. What was strange was that she never got caught in accidents. Whenever a
traffic accident occurred, it was always Han Maru who died.

When the twentieth Han Maru’s life began, the masked man was able to talk to the
woman in a white suit. She talked about a story that was nearly an eternity long, and
the masked man realized that the time he spent was a brief instant compared to
what she spent. It wasn’t him being punished.

The twenty-first. The masked man met himself with a smile that was no different
from an indifferent expression. The twenty-first was a little special. He was able to
tell Maru the secrets of coming back to life. This was something impossible before.
However, he didn’t have any expectations or anything. Maru was bound to forget and
die soon anyway.

The twenty-first Maru also experienced changes in memory. He had forgotten about
the things precious to him like all the Han Marus before him and started changing.
He had forgotten about the secrets of revival that he had told him.

The masked man knew what this signified. He had experienced it twenty-one times
before. Even a dog would learn tricks in 3 years, and he had lived observing Han
Maru from this cramped stage for centuries. He will die soon - that was the
conclusion he came to.

Perhaps the ones who had bestowed her that great punishment had decided to deal
with this special Han Maru early so that the hamster wheel could keep turning.

“Is forgetting, really according to that flow?”

The masked man smiled bitterly. The twenty-first Maru knew everything, but he now
became a man who did not know anything. He wondered how many years of
memories would disappear this time around. Perhaps he might forget that he was
revived from this moment onwards. The earnest hamster wheel would once again
bring a corpse to life again to let the man turn the wheel again.

He did not say anything. He didn’t want to. He was thinking about what he should say
to the upcoming twenty-second Maru.

Just then……

There was a man who stepped out of that hamster wheel. A man was trying to do
something that he wasn’t permitted to. The masked man could feel that. He could
hear the sound of someone trying to reverse the flow decided by the great one. Tick,
tick, tick. The stopped clock hand started moving again. It wasn’t the sound of a clock
hand from the human realm. It was the sound of the flow of time of the great ones,
residing above the six destinies.

“If forgetting is set in stone, I will not forget. To hell with things like that. I will not
forget; not this moment, not that humming song.”

It was twisted. The masked man could feel the cage that imprisoned her was
creaking. He could feel the clock of the world created in order to punish her trying to
move again.

The masked man looked at the twenty-first Han Maru.

-Who are you?

There was no reply. Han Maru had stopped as though he was sleeping. The masked
man laughed. What did he expect? There was a momentary change, but that was it in
the end. Humans could not break out of the world created by the heavens.

“You.”

Han Maru, who had been silent this whole time, had spoken. At the same time, he
collapsed sideways.

“What the! Hey, Han Maru!”

“Director Park! Maru collapsed!”

The sounds of this world rushed in. However, only one word was echoing within the
masked man’s head,

You.

[1] Here, Gaeul is referring to the daughter.

When he realized that he was falling, his center of gravity was already outside his
body. His body was leaning towards a point in the air. When his body leaned about
halfway, he saw Joomin dropping the coffee cup in shock as well as Dongho who was
reaching out to him. The falling cup eventually stopped in the air, and Dongho’s
actions also stopped like a paused video.

Time passed by slowly. At this speed, he felt like he needed ten years to fall down on
the ground. It was a strange experience, but that wasn’t the important part. Maru
probed his memories and became an adventurer treading on the wrinkles of his
brain. Fragmented memories shot out from around him as though popcorn was
popping out of the ground. He felt like his brain was being fried. All the calories that
were supposed to be spent in his body was being stolen by his brain. Maybe even his
body weight was being consumed by his brain.

Amidst the swirling memories, Maru saw the masked man. He did not say anything.
Maru soon realized why he was silent. It wasn’t that he was being silent. He had said
everything already.

He could hear eggshells cracking. No, he felt like he heard such a noise. A thin layer
of something crumbled apart, allowing a sunken memory to surface.

Maru remembered the masked man’s face. Han Maru. What would the historian who
has been watching an individual’s history repeat itself over and over again, feel like?

The fragments of memories that had been scattered and blocked by someone were
gathering little by little. In the middle of them was a song. The humming song that
tickled his ears was like a lighthouse shining down on the vast sea. The memories
curled up beneath the darkness followed that faint light. The memories gathered
towards that one guide and mixed among each other in a chaotic manner, but the
organization was happening steadily.

Maru saw a drop of coffee that popped out from the cup. He was still falling, and he
felt like the distance between him and the ground was as far as the distance from the
Earth to the moon.
He went through a process of turning and moving the various memory puzzle pieces
before putting them together. It was a hard and excruciating process. It hurt his brain
so much that he wanted to give up immediately. What’s the point of regaining those
memories? - these sweet words reverberated inside his ears. His reasonable mind
whispered to him that it was right and proper to focus on the present rather than
being obsessed with the past.

Yes, that was right. Longing for a bus that had already passed won’t make it return. A
wise person would wait for the next bus at the bus stop. Perhaps it was a good idea
to enjoy some coffee in the meantime. Only people who were able to let go of what
had already passed would be able to grab the future.

Bullshit - someone said. It was a familiar voice. It was rough, unlike the voice that
told him to let go of the past. Just listening to it made him feel uncomfortable. If you
missed that bus, you should chase it down and catch up to it - the voice said. Maru
felt stifled when the voice told him not to package the past as good memories and to
face them properly.

A voice that made him comfortable, and a voice that made him uncomfortable. It
seemed clear who to follow at this crossroad. Maru consciously ignored the voice
that scolded him. He felt like a wave of pain would crash into him if he followed that
voice. He wanted to choose the side that others suggested he take, which was also
the path that he wanted to choose. The words that told him to let go of his past felt
warm like his mother’s words that he heard when he was young. They felt right like
the advice of his wise father. Was there a reason to follow the rough words where a
gut-churning, difficult journey was certain?

He felt like time was returning to normal. The falling cup started speeding up.
Everything was returning to normal. Everything was returning to the flow, where
everything should be.

The sunlight was very strong. He suddenly remembered an old memory. He was
driving across Hangang bridge, and next to him was a woman. She was someone who
he met for the first time that morning. He was a ‘fill-in’ manager, while she was a ‘fill-
in’ support actress. The sunlight that seeped through the window emphasized the
contours of her face. The car audio was quiet, but the car was filled with her
humming.

That hum. Maru knew that song. It was a song that he could sing and listen to right
now. It was the song that Gaeul hummed from time to time after all.

Maru felt his pupils widening. His back felt chilly. The puzzle that was his memory fit
together at this moment. The voice that whispered to him became smaller and
smaller. Instead of the voice that told him to forget about the past and look at the
present and the future, the humming song filled his mind.

The memory of his death at 29 started expanding. The memory of his death at 30
returned to him, then 31, then 33, then 35… The memories that had been swapped
out numerous times by someone started returning to their original places.

Maru saw the cup falling in front of him start to rise again. Experiencing a
phenomenon where something that should be falling was not falling. Maru felt the
tight chains that bound his memories starting to snap apart.

The rough voice became vivid again. I’m sure you remember now - the voice that had
become thick due to experiencing all the hardships in life belonged to himself. It was
that same voice he used to fight against his superior, console his junior, and quarrel
with a customer. It was the voice of his forty-five-year-old self.

The masked man suddenly asked something,

-Who are you?

Maru replied,

‘You’.

The moment he replied, the clock that had been ticking everywhere; forward,
backward, and nowhere, returned to its original path. Maru immediately crashed
into the ground that had come slower to him. He saw people approach him in shock.
He wanted to say that he was okay and stand up, but he felt too dizzy.

“Han Maru, Han Maru,” producer Park Hoon said as he took out his phone.

He seemed like he was going to call for an ambulance. Maru barely managed to reach
out and pushed Park Hoon’s phone cover down.

“I’m okay.”
“No, you’re not. You just collapsed.”

“It’s because I’ve been crouching for a while. It’s not a big problem.”

Maru clenched his teeth and smiled. Thankfully, his sense of balance had returned to
normal. Only his head felt heavy and dazed as though he hadn’t been sleeping for
days. He stood up and jumped lightly.

“See? I’m completely fine.”

“Forget it, and go to the hospital. We’ve got a long time until we do your scene
anyway.”

Maru looked at Park Hoon’s face before nodding. As the person responsible for this
place, it should be putting a lot of pressure on him, so he couldn’t act so stubborn.

“I’ll go to the hospital and get some vitamins. I’ll also get a doctor to say that I’m
okay.”

“Give me a call once you get diagnosed.”

“Yes. I’m sorry for making you all worried.”

“Just get going already.”

Maru smiled at the people that gathered around him and told them that he’d be back
soon.

“Are you really okay? You suddenly collapsed.”

“Men can get anemic too sometimes. Looks like I ran out of stamina because I haven’t
been able to get good sleep these days.”

Joomin dusted his clothes off with worried eyes.

“I knew you were going to collapse one day. You looked somewhat weak since
morning. Do you want me to bring you to the hospital?” Dongho asked.

“You have a shoot to do. You aren’t going anywhere. I can go by myself.”
“What are you going to do if you fall down again?”

“That won’t happen, so don’t worry about it.”

Maru thought about Byungchul, who would be at the company, but he decided not to
call him. After all, he knew that there was nothing wrong with his body. He left the
middle school through the school gates and grabbed a taxi. On his way there, he
organized his thoughts. When doing a 1,000-piece puzzle, the start would feel
incredibly slow and unclear, but once the edges were done, it would become a lot
faster. This was also true for his fragmented memories. When some of the pieces fit
together, he could see the general picture. The thing he had to do now was to grab
the floating memories and stitch them together in the correct order. His brain was
doing this job even without him having to be conscious of it, so the memories should
soon be restored with a bit of time.

He went to the nearby hospital, got diagnosed, and left. Naturally, there was nothing
wrong with him. He sent Park Hoon a text message. He got a call right away.

-Can you do the shoot?

“Of course. There’s a lot of money involved. The doctor said there’s no problem, so if
you would allow it, I’d like to shoot.”

-It’ll take some time before we start your scene, so get some fresh air before coming
back. You should get some sleep or something. If you feel anemic at your age, you
won’t be able to do this job for long.

“I’m okay now. Then I’ll get some fresh air before returning.”

After hanging up, Maru called Dongho.

-Yeah, it’s me. Are you okay?

“I’m okay. I’m going back soon, so can you give me a call when my scene is
approaching?”

-Alright. I’ll give you a call, so get some sleep before coming. It looks like you ran out
of strength because you’re doing two jobs.

After thanking him, Maru sat on a bench in front of the hospital. He laughed in vain
when he looked at the people walking around in patient clothes. His own state was
not that different from them.

-Do you remember?

He wondered when he was going to speak. Maru closed his eyes. He was standing on
the stage where the masked man lived.

“Somewhat.”

-Really?

Maru nodded.

“I have a lot to ask, but now’s not the time. My head is still in a mess right now.”

-I’m sure it must be like that. Tens of years of memories should have returned all at
once.

Maru looked at the masked man.

“Are you going to keep wearing that mask?”

-It’s somewhat embarrassing to take it off right now. At this point, I’m more
comfortable with it on.

“If you’re okay with it, then so be it. But how funny. We’re all Han Maru in the end.”

-Yes, it’s comedic.

“We have a lot to talk about.”

-Yes, we do.

“But before that, there’s something I want to tell you.”

Maru reached out to him.

“You’ve been working hard until now. And since you’re at it, let’s do some more.”
-I don’t remember the last time I was thanked like this.

“I’m sure you don’t. You’ve lived for centuries after all.”

-I’m not sure if ‘lived’ is the right word. The concept of life is very vague here.

“Can I ask you something?”

-Yes, to commemorate your return.

“What is it that you want?”

-I’m sure you must know already.

Maru could read the expression hidden behind the mask.

-I don’t care if it’s a happy ending or a bad ending. An ending - that is all I want. I
want to stop getting tired and to stop watching for that matter. If I could have the
luxury of choosing, I wish to lie on the same bed as her, with our daughter in the
middle. I long for human smell. I long for emotions too. But I’m sure it must be
impossible. I don’t have a body after all.

“Why did you pop out like that? Why did you get separated and become another
me?”

-I’m not sure. Perhaps it was for the sake of you, the twenty-first Maru.

“The twenty-first.”

It was not a big number, yet an extremely large one too. In this place where no one
called out to him, a man had to witness his own death more than a dozen times.
What would that man be like? It shouldn’t be something that a human could imagine.
This being was once Han Maru, but now, it was questionable whether he could still
be called Han Maru.

-Let’s talk once you get your thoughts organized. Right now, you seem to be in need
of some rest.

“Yeah, I think I’ll do that.”

Maru slowly opened his eyes. The dark stage disappeared, leaving the autumn sky
and the tall hospital building in his vision. He took out his phone from his pocket. He
pressed some buttons to pull up Gaeul’s phone number on his screen. Maru took his
finger off when all he needed to do was to press the call button.

“This shouldn’t be the right time.”

He could not hurry. His fate, as well as his life, was very twisted and tangled right
now. If he impatiently touched it, it might break everything. He had to be careful as
though he was walking on a tightrope.

Rather than that - Maru smiled at the memories that flashed through his mind. He
felt stifled when he had a look at what the warm-hearted Han Maru had done until
now. Ever since his memories of being betrayed by a devoted junior at the company
disappeared, his entire person became really docile. It was him who said that
memories didn’t disappear easily, yet he had made a complete fool out of himself.

Maru pinched his fingers and put them between his eyes.

“So I can resist, huh.”

Was this a victory for the man that had repeated the deja vu-like life over and over
again? Or was this another one of god’s mischiefs? Maru opened the memo
application on his phone. There was something he needed to test out.

‘I died once and came back to life.’

He could write things about his revival. Of course, this wouldn’t help that much. If all
of his memories vaporized, he would obviously treat this memo as a joke even if he
found it.

“Uhm, excuse me.”

Maru stopped a woman who was about to enter the hospital. He then looked into her
eyes for a while. A moment later, something familiar popped up above her head.

-What’s this child up to?

God didn’t seem that picky. He didn’t take away the gift that he sent out. The lack of
functionality in this gift was still a pity though. It would be great if he could see other
people’s inner psychology, but he could still only read thoughts related to ‘Han Maru’
within the target.

“Nothing. I must have been mistaken.”

He had to check things like stocks and estate prices, but he didn’t feel like that would
work. He only had some restrictions on his memory lift, not all of the ones placed on
him.

Maru twisted his neck left and right as he entered the convenience store in front of
the hospital. He needed something to drink right now
Mindsets were scary things. Despite the fact that the coffee he drank today was the
same brand as the coffee he drank yesterday, it tasted different. It was probably due
to the fact that the ‘person’ drinking it was different. Ever since the internal elements
that defined an individual changed and expanded, his personality, as well as his
preferences, had changed. How tragic was an individual by himself? How weak was
he? The disappearance of a small amount of memories changed his entire person.
The time he spent and the experience and the know-how he gained seemed like it
was well-managed by the system known as memories, but he was helpless against a
3rd person’s simple prank.

Maru threw the empty coffee can in the trash. He knew that he needed to come up
with plans, but he didn’t have a suitable method. It was impossible for an ant to fight
against an elephant. The only thing an ant could do was to take a detour so that it
didn’t meet the elephant. There were two types of people who wanted to fight
against the irresistible: one, those that wanted an honorable death, and two, those
that just wanted death.

As he wasn’t suicidal, he had to look for a way to live. What was urgent was to check
the integrity of his memories. He would be worrying for naught if his memories
disappeared after all.

“Man, it’s looking dark,” he muttered to himself out of frustration.

If an electronic device broke, he could look for a repairman. The repairman would
then look at various parts of the product and either fix it or replace the broken parts.
However, there were no experts when it came to memories. As this wasn’t a neuro-
scientific problem nor a cerebral problem, he had to resolve this by himself. There
was one more fundamental problem. It was that the one giving the diagnosis was the
patient himself. Maru hadn’t yet heard of a story where a brain surgeon had operated
on his own brain.

He needed other people’s help desperately. There was one suitable person, but that
person couldn’t help.
-The moment you lose your memories will be the moment I lose my authority to
speak again. It’s not something I can do something about.

These were the masked man’s words. He was a rational observer and was qualified
to discern and judge the changes, but his opinion was under the control of a god.

Maru first did the thing he could do. It was to write down everything he knew on a
notepad that he bought from the convenience store. It was now possible for him to
write down the emotional evaluations of the events that he participated in, in both
his previous life and this life. Could he conclude that the restrictions were lifted
then?

He wrote down the events as well as his emotional evaluations of those events that
happened after his revival. If his memories disappeared, they would turn into
meaningless words, but these words might trigger his memories to come back again.
He had lost his memories and regained them once. There were plenty of possibilities.

He wrote ‘A scenario on revival’ on the cover of the notepad so he would have an

easier time explaining if other people found out about it. He put the notepad in his
back pocket. The things he wrote in the notepad were the record of his life as well as
his checklist. He would have to compare his memories to what was written on the
notes every single day. If there was a discrepancy between his memories and the
contents of the notepad, it would be a sign that his memory loss had started again.
He wished that there would come a day he could throw away the notepad in relief.

“Excuse me, but can you take a photo of me?”

A man approached him with a digital camera. Maru nodded. The man thanked him
and turned around before going to stand next to a woman in a wheelchair. The two
people grabbed each other’s hands.

He pressed the shutter. One more time - he said before taking a few more photos.
After taking the camera back, the man and the woman looked at the photo together.
Maru sat down on a bench and watched the two. A moment later, the woman entered
the hospital, while the man stayed outside. The man who was looking at the people
entering and leaving the building sat down on the spot. He was crying.

Maru thought about Gaeul. In the lives that repeated itself as though they were a
mobius strip, she should have watched the death of the human known as Han Maru
over and over again. Thankfully, she was outside the ring of reincarnation, so she
shouldn’t have continuous memories. Sometimes, forgetting was helpful.

Wait - Maru probed his memories and opened the notepad. He remembered
something that happened before. The woman in the white suit said once that an
individual going back to the past doesn’t mean that the time of that world would
regress along with him. She said that there would be a crossroad when the human
known as Han Maru revived. She said that the world that his wife and daughter live
in after losing the father is a different world.

Twenty-one times. That was the number of revivals that the masked man had seen.
This was not an accurate number either. There should definitely be Han Marus that
died before the masked man gained consciousness. Did an innumerable number of
Han Marus die, resulting in many different branches in the timeline? Just how many
single-parent households did he produce?

He sighed. Even if those timelines were completely separate worlds, it meant that
there were perhaps hundreds of wives and daughters that had to live a lacking life
because of him.

Was it a tragedy caused by someone who longed to come back to life? Of course, this
might also be a mechanism that pushed him to focus on his new life. It was true that
he focused on his new life after seeing his wife and daughter faring well. Now that he
found out that the woman in white was not his ally, there was a need to go through
the things that she showed and told him.

Maru rubbed his eyebrows. That was one more thing to think about.

“Did I wish to come back to life?”

No, he did not. The reason he was revived was thanks to the granny that lived near
him. Yoo Bokja, that was a name that he could not forget. When he lost most of his
memories, he even forgot about that, but he could remember it clearly now.

Maru decided to approach the more fundamental problem. When he thought about
how she was someone who gave him one more chance at life, she was like his savior.
After all, she had given up on her one and only chance to live another life.

Yes, once. If it was just once, she was his life’s savior, but if that was a repetitive thing,
that would change things. The masked man once said that Han Maru’s life would
begin during his high school days and end when he died, but that the cause was
different every time. In the dozens of lives that were repeated, there was a time
when he died in his late twenties. The possibility of coming across granny Yoo Bokja
when he had a short life? Infinitely near zero. After all, he met the elderly woman
when he moved houses when he was forty.

“Was it a story to make me accept it?”

That seemed very plausible. There was no way Han Maru did deeds of kindness
every single time. It was likely that the woman in the white suit had used that ‘good
deed’ story in order to lessen his rejection towards revival.

Maru then had another question. It was the most important question as well.

Why was his life being repeated?

Was he repeating his life because he could not escape the cycle of Samsara in the
Buddhist sense? Or was he repeating his life in paradise until the arrival of heaven in
the Catholic/Christian sense? Or was this how life worked in general?

He lacked information. At the same time, he could finally understand why people fell
for occultist religions. There was nothing that felt more uneasy than being thrown
into the middle of uncertainty.

-A branch forms in the timeline immediately after reviving. In this case, there are
many worlds where my family has lost me. However, the possibility of this is low. It
was something that woman showed me after all.

-A repeating life. There are two possibilities: one, whether it’s a reward or a
punishment, I’m repeating life by myself, and two, all of the people in this world are
experiencing the same thing as me, and it’s just that they don’t remember.

While reading his notepad, Maru decided to exclude the possibility of the second
one. If the world was fixed and the people in it were repeating their lives over and
over again, nothing he did would help. Perhaps this world would rewind once he
reached forty-five. In that case, he would be greeted by the world of nihility once he
escapes the cycle of revival. This would be something beyond his cognitive abilities,
so if this was true, losing memories would be a blessing.

Maru focused on the fact that only he was repeatedly coming back to life.
“Why did the repetition begin… well, fine, I don’t care why it did. But why insert a
bothersome event like Yoo Bokja?”

He tapped on the notepad with the back of his pen. If the human known as Han Maru
started repeating his life due to a certain trigger, why was there a need to procure
the plausibility of reviving every single time? When the masked man talked about
the dead Han Marus, he also said that he met the woman in white.

If repetition of life was predestined, there was no need to explain the trigger for the
revival through the use of the Yoo Bokja episode. It would be fine if the woman in
white told him ‘you got another chance at life thanks to god’s blessing’.

His suspicion started storming. Maru thought about what happened after he died. It
was the question he had before he opened his eyes. Had he regretted anything in life?
Why did that question suddenly come to his mind at that specific time? It felt like a
setup to make him possess regret towards his life.

After opening his eyes, he walked on the sandy beach before listening to the
circumstances from the woman in the white suit. You have died, but you have gained
another chance at life. It was then that Yoo Bokja appeared. The elderly woman who
had lived her whole life helping other people despite leading a poor life herself said
that it was okay and yielded the chance of revival to him. Wasn’t that like a fairy tale?
It could even be called a myth.

This put more weight on the fact that Yoo Bokja was an imaginary figure. Then why
was there a need to go through such lengths to create a character and set up the
mood?

“What if I refused?”

At first, he definitely refused. He told her not to waste such a precious opportunity
on a person like him. What was the result? He was persuaded after a long time and
received the opportunity himself.

No matter how much he thought about it, repeating one’s life meaninglessly could
not be called a reward. This meant that ultimately, his life was being repeated as
punishment.

There was no need to ask a criminal for his opinion. Telling him to do what he is
supposed to do should be fine.
“I could choose.”

Maru could feel the heat rising in his head. It was wrong from the beginning. It must
be a natural thing for the dead to long for life. The woman in the white suit paved a
path for him to choose life. Who would choose death when they were urged to
choose life?

What if he did not choose to revive?

“If that’s the key to ending this cycle… do I need to die first or what?”

Maru called for the masked man.

-You must feel complicated right now.

“I feel like my head is going to burst. Let me ask you one thing. The woman in the
white suit. Is she simply a guide? Or is she the judge?”

-I’m sorry, but I can’t tell you that.

“Fine. Then what about this? You said this to me before I lost my memories; that you
know why this all started.”

-Yes. I know the circumstances behind all this. Including how and why it all began.

“Fine. Back then, you said something as you looked at that white rabbit on your
shoulder. You called the rabbit ‘her’. Right before that, I asked you this question: what
is the identity of the woman who led me to revive? And whether or not she was god,”
Maru said as he probed his memories.

“Is the woman that guided me the rabbit?”

-I’m sorry.

“Then you told me this: Don’t hate her too much; she has spent a much longer time in
despair. That’s when I asked: Who is this ‘she’?”

-The woman you’ll love forever.

“Yes, that’s how you replied. There’s only one woman I can think of that I will love
forever. She’s the only woman Han Maru has loved over numerous lives. She must be
Gaeul.”

-I’m sorry.

“What did you mean when you told me not to hate her? Is my life repeating because I
loved her? Or are you saying that the reason this all began is because of her?”

-You must know the answer to that already, right? I’m sorry. As much as I want to tell
you, my mouth won’t open.

“Gosh, this is driving me crazy.”

Maru then asked one last question. He knew that the answer would be yet another
‘I’m sorry’, but he had to ask anyway. It was the question he was the most afraid to
ask as well as the question that assumed the worst.

“The woman who guided me, the rabbit that was on your shoulder, and Gaeul. What
is the possibility that those three are the same person?”

The masked man once again replied ‘I’m sorry’.

Maru decided to look at what was clear for now.

-The revival occurred many times, the reason for which is unclear.

-Memories have disappeared. They have returned, but there’s the possibility that
they might disappear again.

-The woman in the white suit is deeply related to this cycle.

As for the unclear things, he decided to put them in a corner of his mind for the time
being. It was meaningless to hypothesize about a hypothesis. He had to base his
assumptions on the facts. It was nearly impossible to take precautions against what
would happen in the future, so he would have to act depending on the situation. He
could only shirk back in order to survive the gaze of the omnipotent beings.

Maru grabbed a taxi. The fact that his memories had returned would definitely be
unexpected. If even this was within the schedule of god, then every action he took
after this would be meaningless.

Did the fact that no measures were taken mean that there was a hole in the
surveillance? Something that was progressing according to divine providence had
gone wrong. In order to set things straight again, god should send the woman in
white or take away his memories or do something, but there were no reactions until
now.

Not knowing or letting him go. Regardless of which was true, it did not change the
fact that he had gained freedom. If he could meet the woman in white again, he
would be able to get some hints through some questions, but she always appeared at
the most random moments before disappearing after saying what she needed to.
Was there a method to call her out?

Maru called for the masked man, but there was no answer. If god was really
omnipotent and omniscient, he should have realized that Han Maru’s soul had split
into two. Did he leave that alone while knowing it? Or did he not know about it?
He felt like Sun Wukong, the Monkey King. Despite having an immortal body, the
monstrous creature could not escape Buddha's palm and eventually became
punished after accepting defeat. The punishment even lasted five hundred years
until the monk Sanzang freed him. Did a being like Sanzang exist for someone like
him as well?

The more he thought about it, the more he felt like he was playing in the playground
that god had made for him. To think that god had a blind spot in his view and that
there were things he could not see made him feel like that was a too optimistic
thought, but to think that god knew everything would make all of his assumptions
meaningless.

In order to have a sense of purpose, he assumed that god had weak points, but ‘is
that really the case?’ kept reverberating in his head. Was there such a thing as free
will? Is the fact that he was thinking about this at this specific moment predestined
from a point way beyond history? Was there really a path that allowed him to escape
this cycle?

He slapped his cheeks. The taxi driver looked at him, wondering what was going on.

“Oh, I was getting a little sleepy. There’s something important today, and I can’t
afford to doze off.”

“You look like a student. Sleep is very important for people of your age.”

“You’re right. I need to get some sleep, but I couldn’t because I had a nightmare.”

“Are you in your 3rd year of high school?”

“Yes.”

“I guess it must be hard for you then. Here, have some of this. It will clear your throat
and drive away your drowsiness.”

It was a throat candy. The strong mint refreshed his nose and throat. It would be
great if it could refresh his mind as well - Maru thought in vain. He paid the taxi fare
before getting off. When he went through the gates, he saw people gathered by the
central door to the main school building.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine. Sorry for making you worried.”

A staff member that he had gotten to know patted him on the shoulders, telling him
to be careful. Maru walked over to the stands. He saw Joomin and Dongho, who were
getting ready to shoot.

“You came back pretty fast.”

“It wasn’t anything much after all. What about the shoot?”

“It’s going well. You really should’ve taken some time to rest at the hospital. There’s
still some time.”

“I should come early and prepare beforehand.”

After talking to Dongho, he looked at Joomin.

“Noona, I saw that you spilled some coffee because of me. Is your hand okay?”

“It was completely lukewarm so I didn’t get hurt. Rather than that, how do you feel?
Even if the doctor told you that you were okay, you should still get some rest if you
don’t feel good.”

“If I really felt bad, I was planning to get some rest as well, but I completely woke up
by the time I arrived at the hospital. The doctor also told me it was nothing to worry
about.”

“Are you sure you weren’t anemic or something?”

“Yes. I think I was just a little dizzy because blood rushed into my legs. Looks like I
need to do some more exercise. I feel like I’ve gotten weaker after resting for a
while.”

“You have a good figure, you’re not lacking exercise. It must be because of your
schedule. No matter how good your body is, you’re bound to become ill if you push
yourself. You should watch out for your health. I still feel freaky if I remember how
you stumbled and collapsed.”

“I’ll definitely watch out.”

Just then, he could hear a ‘cut’ sound in the distance. Maru greeted everyone he came
across and approached Park Hoon.

“Were there no problems?”

“Yes.”

“That’s good then. You can make the shoot right?”

“Even if I collapse, I will do the shoot.”

“If you collapse, you can’t do the shoot. Anyway, I feel relieved to see you’re doing
okay. Let’s get ready and start immediately. I pulled your scene ahead, so let’s get
that done quickly so you can go home.”

“You didn’t have to do that though.”

“If an accident occurs under my watch because I’m working with a patient, it’ll be me
who’ll be in trouble, okay?”

Park Hoon smiled and told him to go. Maru was just feeling complex because of all
the thoughts that rushed into his head. He felt thankful for Park Hoon’s
consideration. He thought that he should finish the shoot early, go home and think
about it.

After wracking his brain over things that completely transcended common sense, he
felt like he was resting now that he was met with a more realistic problem. While
there was no correct answer to acting, there was a correct area. It felt so relieving to
think about something with an answer. Maru smiled in vain and flipped through his
script.

“Looks like you feel okay now.”

Giwoo had approached and spoken to him. Maru looked at him and nodded. He
realized once again how scary losing his memories was as well as how scary the
change in his cognition was when he looked at this guy. He acted kindly towards a
person he would never want to keep close. He felt like he wanted to slap his own
mouth.

How complex - the emotions from how he acted while he had lost his memories still
remained within him. While the social Han Maru did not act the way he liked, it
wasn’t something that should completely be ignored. The young Han Maru’s
consciousness definitely helped when expanding his relationships. If he could let his
forty-five-year-old self control the recklessness of youth, he would gain a social
weapon. Take what was necessary and abandon what wasn’t needed. Although
‘challenge’ and ‘adventure’ were still terrifying words, he wouldn’t just exclude them
outright from the get-go.

Of course, there were things that simply weren’t an option. For example, his
relationship with this guy. He said all those things before he regained his memories,
so he would follow along, but if he tried to do something, Maru would let him know
why the tongue was called the knife within the mouth. There were young people who
had to see blood to realize what they’D done wrong.

Maru looked into Giwoo’s eyes. The quicker a person’s thoughts were, the faster the
speech bubble would appear. Giwoo very quickly managed to finish analyzing and
judging the person in front of him. This guy, he has the same eyes as grandfather
again - that was what was written above him.

Grandfather, huh. That was rather unexpected. Maru thought that he would not rely
on others with the personality he had. The ‘grandfather’ that Giwoo thought of when
analyzing him seemed to be a pretty important figure.

“Now that I think about it, we never talked that much, haven’t we?” Maru started off
the conversation.

Giwoo made a comfortable smile, but Maru could see the minute cracks in it. It
wouldn’t be a stretch to say that Maru’s eyes, which looked similar to Giwoo’s
grandfather's, have broken his tranquility. This might be a weakness. If he could get a
grasp of what this person’s grandfather was like, Maru would gain the upper hand.
While Kang Giwoo was trash that couldn’t be turned into anything good, there
should still be a way to use him. For example, fight your enemy with your enemy - or
in this case, clean trash using other trash.

“Talk?”

“Maybe the reason I said all that to you before was because I felt envious.”

Maru could see his wariness rising rapidly. While Giwoo’s lips were still in the shape
of a smile, his eyes that looked at him became a lot sharper. He was the type who
would only feel relieved after knowing what the opponent had in mind. In that sense,
Maru thought that Giwoo was like him. Because they were similar, it was easy to
understand him. Moreover, while it might be superficial, he could read Kang Giwoo’s
thoughts as well. If Maru took the time and effort to shake him up and down, things
would become really interesting.

“What do you mean, envious of me?”

Giwoo looked really nervous when Maru sounded friendly. Maru did not go out of his
way to relieve his nervousness. Reaching a hand out to a wary cat was a foolish thing
to do. He had to make the cat stand down by itself.

“Who here do you think is not envious of you?”

“I’m not someone so amazing.”

“There you go, being humble again.”

Maru took a beat of rest before speaking again,

“But you know? How does it feel to do that play of yours?”

He could see Giwoo’s shoulders stiffening as though he was about to attack at any
moment. He looked like a soldier that had met an enemy during war. Maru looked
into his eyes. Thoughts seemed to be flashing through rapidly inside his head to the
point that there was no room to think about Han Maru. He could not see any speech
bubbles. Though, he could see Giwoo’s lips trembling. It seemed that he was pretty
flustered if he couldn’t maintain his signature smile.

If Maru wanted to stop him from doing bad things around him in the future by
pressuring him, he could just stop speaking here. Giwoo would start worrying about
the things he did after imagining all sorts of outcomes, and as a result, become rather
docile. If this guy was an idiot, he would start rampaging the moment he realizes that
he had been driven into a corner, but Kang Giwoo was cautious to the point that he
would control others through phone calls, so he should probably choose to stay still.

“Why do you ask?”

There was a sense of urgency in his voice. The fact that he couldn’t stay quiet proved
that Giwoo was shaken. Maru smiled as though it was nothing much. His objective
was not to end all conversations with him; it was to disarm him.

“Nothing, I was just a little curious. I was also wondering if it was fun.”

“I thought you weren’t interested. In fact, you looked like you despised that sort of
thing. You even warned me not to do it, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, I did. But I realized recently that what you are doing might not be entirely so
bad after all.”

“What do you mean by that?”

He still had not let his guard down. Giwoo was so absorbed in the word ‘play’. He was
probably thinking of thousands of excuses in his mind to argue.

The human brain was actually very simplistic and could not do multiple things at
once. In the case of a lie that required a high level of mental power, it would weaken
the defenses of other elements once a person became absorbed in defending that lie.
Maru was planning to make use of that.

“There’s someone I really don’t like. But I’m not in a situation where I can blatantly
point him out. Just then, I thought about the play you were doing. It dawned on me
that teasing some idiotic adults isn’t such a bad thing after all.”

“Really?”

While Giwoo was showing a positive reaction, his wariness increased by a level. Even
if Maru asked him to let him in on these plays, Giwoo would never allow it. Maru
could obviously tell that Giwoo was trying to cut himself off from everything related
to the play. It also meant that there was a gap in his defenses now.

“He’s an old dude, and I really can’t like him. Do you have a grandfather at home? You
should know how annoying elderly people can be.”

“I do have a grandfather, but I never thought of him that way. My grandfather is on a

whole different level.”

Giwoo, who was preparing to defend the wordplay, ended up advocating his
grandfather in a very strong tone. It sounded like it was beyond respect and more
like admiration. If Maru asked him about his family history on a normal occasion, he
would never leak any information due to suspicion, but he was so absorbed in
defending the word ‘play’ that he ended up blurting it out so easily.

“Is your grandfather that amazing?”

“He’s the perfect man.”

Usually, the word ‘perfect’ wasn’t usually used to describe a person, not to mention
‘the’ perfect man. The fact that Kang Giwoo described him as such would mean that
this grandfather of his was not an ordinary man.

“There’s a limit to how perfect old people could be.”

“Watch your words. Grandfather is in a whole different league from normal people.”

“Is he that amazing? I don’t think so. Are you sure you aren’t mistaken?”

The wariness and tension disappeared, replaced by the hostility that rose. Maru felt
like the ‘grandfather’ keyword could be used against Giwoo pretty well.

“He’s the chairman of YM, yet you call that not amazing?”

After speaking with a proud face, Giwoo soon shut his mouth. Maru nodded. The
man this little devil treats like a god, huh.

“He is an amazing person, huh. Okay, I get it.”

“Don’t go telling people. I don’t want things to become noisy.”

“Okay, okay.”

The people who should know about it probably know him already. The manager-
level personnel probably got notified from those above them. Maru also remembered
the distributor of the film that Kang Giwoo was going to play the role of the main
character in was a subsidiary of YM. He sighed. This was a fruit that he could not pick
and eat. He had a god to deal with, so he had no energy to deal with a chaebol’s
grandson.

“Anyway, talk to you later,” Maru said with a smile.

Going through the door, Hong Janghae took off his shoes and arranged them tidily. He
had a glance at the darkroom before turning on the lights. He undid his tie and stood
in front of the refrigerator. He saw three yellow sticky notes on it.

I won’t be here until the weekend, I’ve prepared side dishes so eat them as you wish,
contact me via text message if possible.

Those were the messages left behind by his wife. He took off the sticky notes and put
them in the trash. He opened the refrigerator. He saw containers of side dishes with
labels on them. His wife had prepared the side dishes according to each day. He took
out the braised tofu, stir-fried nuts, and the chicken breast salad. While he warmed
up the braised tofu in the microwave, he took off his shirt. The noise from the
microwave filled the room, putting him at ease.

“A meeting accompanied by my wife? I’ll call you back after I look into it.”

He hung up the call he got from his friend and got ready to eat. He first drank the
stamina drink that his wife prepared for him before eating the heated food. When
eating, Janghae always focused on the food. He didn’t turn the TV on or fiddle with
his phone while eating. After he finished eating, he washed the dishes. He then shook
off the water from his hands and sent his wife a text: Can you make some time next
week?

He got a reply soon: Wednesday and Saturday. Janghae called his friend and told him
that he could do Saturday. His wife was a woman of few words. Instead of words, she
was a woman of action. Janghae liked that part of her. While they did not trust each
other, they provided each other with what they needed. She wished to use the
system of marriage to her benefit, and the same went for Janghae.

For the image of a family that society wanted, they also promised to have two
children before they got married. Two regardless of gender. His wife splendidly
fulfilled her role as a mother, but she did not stop working either. Janghae thought
that there wasn’t a problem with it as long as she didn’t make a mistake while doing
both of them, and his wife did everything perfectly. Janghae also did all the things
that he had to do as a husband and as the breadwinner of the household; he trained
himself to stay fit and satisfy his wife sexually, and he did not forget to buy gifts on
commemorative days and anniversaries. She also did her best to stay slim. After all,
maintaining an appearance that wouldn’t make them look shameful as a couple in
public was important. After marriage, both Janghae and his wife still had other
lovers in their respective workplaces, but they never fought over something like that.
In fact, they even introduced each other to young lovers. His wife always brought him
women that suited his tastes. Janghae also gifted her with young men in order to pay
her back. It was a much healthier and more desirable relationship than those that
relied on uncertain things like love. Their views on education also matched, and
there was no discord there either. Though, they were surprised when Geunseok left
the house.

In any case, his wife was a good woman and still proved herself to be useful. As long
as she continued to be earnest, Janghae would continue to like her. The opposite was
true as well.

He sat on the sofa and had a look at the reports that the team leaders submitted. The
schedules of the various actors and musicians under Soul Entertainment were
written in detail in them. The documents on his left were about the music streaming
service ‘Music Soul’, that just finished the open beta and had been fully
commercialized. The high number of users showed a drastic decrease ever since the
platform became a paid subscription. It seemed that they didn’t like paying for
music. It was a natural reaction since the internet was filled with illegal tracks.

There was no problem since this was all expected. Janghae stroked his chin. The only
thing that could win against something that was free of charge was convenience. The
advantage of being able to listen to the latest songs without much effort for just a few
thousand won should be a very welcome thing for the people in their 20s and 30s,
who consumed a lot of culture.

The slogan that Music Soul put forward was ‘trend leader’. That term started
appearing on internet banners already. Music Soul, a step ahead. Rather than
appealing to people’s sense of justice to use legal, paid services, telling them that
using the platform would make them trendy would stimulate purchases more. Once
he managed to open their wallets once, the hurdle would become a lot lower when
renewing the subscriptions. A fee that was less than 5,000 won was stronger than
any form of advertisement.
If it successfully takes root in the market, Music Soul would become a bigshot in the
music market. Now that the CD market was on the decline, he had to make use of the
advantages of the forerunner as much as possible.

After organizing the documents related to Music Soul, he looked at the reports for
other departments. Currently, Soul’s signature actor could be called Lee Hyuk, while
their signature singer was The Five. In Lee Hyuk’s case, he had to admit that he got
lucky. He tried to go over to join JA Production after his contract expired with his
previous agency, but that didn’t work out. Although he definitely once was a popular
actor, he rarely had any activities for the past few years and other unfortunate events
like how the premature ending of the drama he participated in was leading to his
decline in value as an actor. Janghae managed to bring him in for a cheap contract
deposit thanks to all those elements. Immediately after that, Lee Hyuk was cast in a
movie directed by director Park Joongjin, and that ended up doing extremely well. He
was in his mid-thirties, his prime as an actor, and his success at this time made him
an actor called by many places.

However, Janghae did not have Lee Hyuk do any work. In his opinion, the success of a
film was unrelated to the actor. It was purely up to the director. If he rowed the boat
just because there was water, he might end up in the middle of nowhere, so he had to
be careful. Sometimes, opportunity was like a storm that would capsize the ship
when it got caught up in it. As he had suppressed Lee Hyuk’s rebellious personality,
he did not resist that much. In fact, he looked even a little relieved. Janghae liked how
he knew his own position. He was someone who gave rewards to docile sheep after
all.

The Five wasn’t doing bad either. Perhaps thanks to appealing to the public’s
sympathy with the problem of the slave contract, the fans stayed loyal. Although he
only had three of the five members, as the remaining two still belonged to the
previous agency, they were still allowed to use the team name ‘The Five’, which
meant that there were no big problems. He was also working below the waters to get
the other two to join his company, so they should be able to go back to their five-man
team soon.

“I should slowly start pulling out from this one now.”

The reason The Five was able to rise so rapidly was thanks to the help of many rich
ladies. Daughters of big chaebols, as well as female presidents, were The Five’s
patrons. It wasn’t just women who sold their bodies. In fact, while there was less
demand, the money involved with men doing the same work was much larger. On the
day members of The Five satisfied a rich lady, public TV stations broadcasted The
Five’s signature song by playing them during entertainment programs. They would
appear in the golden slots for music programs, and they even had a program named
after them. Janghae found out through managing the agency that stars were
creatures that grew on money. The entertainment industry wasn’t that different from
the logistics business that he was originally handling. The forerunner monopolized it
all.

The problem was that The Five had become relatively big now.

Janghae came to know Lee Miyoon before he became the president of Soul. He went
to meet her after hearing that she had a vast connection in the industry. He knew
with one glance that she was the same type of person as him. Perhaps because she
too was someone who desperately tried everything to climb higher, their business
talks went smoothly. It was then that he found out about The Five. Back then,
Janghae made a proposal. There were many people who would be in trouble if the
sexual service matter became controversial, so they should cover it up with another
incident. That was how they made an issue out of the unfair contract, sowing
disharmony between The Five and their agency. That was just before the male idol
sexual service controversy burst out. After that, some newbie journalists tried to
stick their nose into that matter again, but society soon became calm because there
were no follow-up articles. There was no reason to dig into it, and The Five’s sexual
service matter disappeared back into the memories of people, and Janghae managed
to bring them in. He also managed to bring them in cheaply to the point that it was
no different from a slave contract.

The problem was that the rich ladies were starting to look for The Five again. Now
that they were beginning to lose attention from the public again, they seemed to
want to play around with those young men again. Janghae did not think negatively
about those services. He was of the mind that it was a good thing to make use of their
puny bodies if it meant that he could win a big contract. If The Five was doing badly,
he would have sent them to do those services without hesitation, but right now, the
value of idols was through the roof since they were becoming huge hits in Japan.
Since they had become expensive, there was a need to adjust their price, but thanks
to a middleman, it became a lot harder to calculate the benefits and losses. Lee
Miyoon, that old hag, was up to shady business in the middle.

She was indebted to him too. Janghae found Lee Miyoon incredibly annoying when
she reached out to him for help while not knowing what she was doing. She tried to
manipulate The Five as she wished while hinting to him that she had a lot of
connections in the political and financial world. Janghae disliked that. He was
supposed to be the owner of The Five, yet it was her who tried to use that right as
she wished to.

If he could, he wished to stuff her in a bag and beat her up. A beating was the only
way to tame a foolish woman who thought that the power she gained by opening her
legs was hers. He thought about hiring some mercenaries to bring her here quietly,
but he left that for another day since she was hard to deal with.

His hands felt itchy. At times like this, he thought about Geunseok. He remembered
how the boy looked at him with eyes stricken with fear. It felt good to beat him up,
but unfortunately, Geunsoo took him away.

Janghae despised the incompetent but cherished the capable. When he saw Geunsoo
escape the castle he built and become successful independently, he felt really proud
as a father. It was to the point that he could stand the boy’s hostile gaze.

Just as he was reminiscing about that sensation he got from his hand, he got a call.
Not from his business phone, but from his personal one. He reached out and opened
his phone.

“Junior director Kim, it’s been a while. But what’s up today? Calling at this hour.”

-Junior director Hong. No wait, I guess you’re president Hong, now, eh?

He could hear a laugh over the phone. Junior director Kim wasn’t someone who
would call without reason, so he decided to wait.

-There’s someone who wishes to meet you.

“Me? At this hour?”

Janghae looked at the clock on the wall. It was past 9 in the evening. Junior director
Kim was not a rude person. He wasn’t incompetent either. If he wanted to see him at
this hour without any prior notifications, it meant that it was that important. Above
all, there weren’t many people who he would use polite speech like ‘who wishes to
see you’ to refer to.
-Come to Sanggye-dong.

“Is it the chairman’s call?”

-Yes. You have to come to the chairman’s mansion.

“Junior director Kim, I’m asking just in case, but am I losing my position?”

-If it was like that, I wouldn’t have called you beforehand. Come as soon as possible.

“I will.”

Janghae put his shirt back on and put on his tie. He put his shoes on and brushed
them off with a shoe brush. He stood in front of the mirror, checked his clothes, and
went to his car and turned it on. On his way to Sanggye-dong, he thought about
whether he did anything wrong, but fortunately, there was none.

He arrived at the chairman’s mansion, which was located on a hill that looked down
on Sanggye-dong. He was guided by a driver waiting for him to park his car
underground before going round to the front door. He checked his clothes again
before stepping forward.

He passed the wide living room and arrived in front of the study. Junior director Kim
was waiting for him there. After exchanging gazes, junior director Kim knocked on
the door.

He was just getting ready to go in when the door suddenly opened. The chairman,
who had a build that was better than most people despite the fact that he was in his
seventies, came out holding his hands behind his back. Janghae bowed towards the
chairman. This man was the legend who succeeded a small trading company that
was YM and raised it to the super conglomerate of today.

“You’ve come.”

“Yes, chairman.”

“How about food?”

“I haven’t eaten yet.”

“What did you do until now? Geez. Junior director Kim, let’s eat together after a long
time.”

Junior director Kim replied ‘yes’ before standing next to the chairman.

“Little Hong.”

“Yes.”

“Did you like bossam?”

“I do.”

“Then let’s go with that,” said the chairman.

The chairman was a man of power. It was hard to find a man with as much power as
him in the country. After all, the reality was that those who had quite an influence in
the political field were completely docile in front of him. There was a rumor about
how he was the mental support of the current Korean president, but the truth was
only known to the two of them.

“Little Hong.”

“Yes, chairman.”

“How is it going these days?”

“I’m doing everything without a problem. I will definitely make the most out of this
opportunity you gave me.”

“You know, I have always hated those clowns. They show up on television to sing and
dance. They’re practically no different from circus troupes, but the people like them
too much. If we were in the Joseon era, people would treat them as nothing more
than street fools, so I despised seeing them act like the world was theirs just because
they gained a little popularity.”

“You’re entirely right, sir.”

“Until a few years ago, I never changed my mind. I felt like my blood was rushing to
my head when they introduced themselves as ‘public figures’. Who are they to call
themselves that? They would lose their jobs if businessmen didn’t give them ads. No
matter how much the public sucks up to them, who is it that feeds them? It’s us,
businessmen.”

“You’re entirely correct.”

Junior director Kim commented every time the chairman finished his thought. The
chairman laughed every single time. Janghae just nodded without saying anything.

“But recently, I changed my mind. Before, we were in an era where a business could
sell products based on their brand value alone, but it’s not like that these days. I
don’t know what these idols are, but I felt really absurd when I received a quarterly
report. The public moved when we used those minstrels in our adverts. It was
flabbergasting. Little Hong, what is the main product of YM Living?”

“Based on market monopoly, it’s toothpaste. I heard that we were past 70%.”

“You’re quite knowledgeable even though you have taken your hands off logistics.”

“Whether it’s the child company or the parent company, I’m trying my best to know
everything related to YM.”

“Yes, Little Hong. That’s how people should be. The lazy ones will get abandoned.”

The chairman lifted his glass and put it against his mouth. Janghae and junior
director Kim also drank along with him. This soju, which was created by a master
brewer of Andong soju specifically for the sake of the chairman, was on a completely
different level from the factory-made distilled soju that was sold in markets. Of
course, the alcohol content was completely different as well. Even Janghae, who had
a strong tolerance for alcohol, felt heat rushing up from his throat on his second
glass.

“It’s a market worth 170 billion won, and it’s YM who controls most of it. Toothpaste
was the main item when I succeeded the company. It’s something that has a lot of
memories for me.”

The chairman chuckled after remembering the old times.

“The distance my friend and I traveled in order to sell toothpaste back then should
be enough to travel around the Earth at least once. It’s nearly impossible for
latecomers to increase their market share. But when I did it to the death, I did
manage to do it. I had to suck up to bank-men to increase clients and then find out
the logistics by sucking up to those clients. I had a hard time raising it. I can say that
toothpaste is the core of YM.”

“Of course, of course,” junior director Kim said.

“Toothpaste is my pride. That’s why I’m usually lenient when it comes to anything
else, but when our market share of toothpaste fell, I flipped over the household item
marketing department. Little Hong, maybe you managed to maintain your position
because you’re in logistics.”

“I was lucky,” Janghae said as he lowered his head.

“While it is a petty dream, it was my dream to go past 70% market share in

toothpaste. I thought that it was a monumental event to completely get a hold of the
market that YM has sprung up on. I even danced in joy when it first went past 60%.
No matter what I did though, I could never reach that 70%. No matter how good the
ingredients we use to make them, it takes time for people to spread the word. When
we first made the toothpaste for toddlers, I thought that we would go past that 70%,
but even back then, we weren’t able to do so.”

Janghae was reminded of the toothpaste ad where a popular animation character

appeared and sang a song.

“I wanted to use an actor too. However, I was told they can’t do it even if I give them
the money because it doesn’t fit their image. It was absurd. Those clowns dare to
refuse money? I thought that the world was being crazy.”

“Everyone’s too full of themselves. We must return to a time where they come and go
at the beck and call of businessmen.”

Junior director Kim spoke like an automatic answering machine. Janghae thought
that it was an ability of his. Flattering wasn’t something that anyone could do.

“But it happened. We’re past 70% just because we used an idol actor. We did a
survey about it as well. Why do you buy YM products? Do you know what the answer
was?”

“I have no clue, sir,” said junior director Kim.

“I guess a lot of them must have bought it thanks to the actor.”

Should he say he knew or act ignorant? Janghae had debated between the two
options before replying. Junior director Kim was in charge of the flattering character,
so there didn’t seem to be a need for him to do the same.

“Yes, that’s it. The majority of them said that they bought it after seeing the face of
the actor holding that toothpaste rather than considering things like effectiveness or
ingredients used. It was totally absurd. A product was not being evaluated as a
product. I found it absurd that the trivial reason of ‘a celebrity using that thing’
raised its value more than its improvement in function. But what can I do about it?
It’s the solid hard truth. It means that the world has changed.”

The chairman wiped his mouth with some napkins.

“Back in my day, we were treated like adults the moment we entered high school.
Even if we smoked with the adults, we might get slapped on the back of the head, but
we didn’t get our cigarettes taken away. In fact, the adults even told us that we’re at
the age where we should learn to drink. There were many people who started taking
care of their families, and there are also those that started working. But these days,
the young ones can never leave their parents until they’re twenty or even twenty-
five. So what does that make them in their middle and high school days? Practically
toddlers. They act like crybabies telling their parents they want this or that. They
have no sense of responsibility but are a lot more greedy.”

When the chairman spoke with a hint of anger, junior director Kim respectfully lifted
up the soju bottle.

“Chairman, there’s no way the young ones these days understand the harsh reality of
the world, is there?”

“Of course they don’t.”

“It’s all because of the efforts and the generosity of people like you that made the
world a better place, and as a result, they can live the life they are living now, but
they don’t know that.”

“You’re right, junior director Kim. Kids these days are all whiny. They don’t even
know what we went through in the past. They don’t know that the things they take
for granted are my achievements and the results of my business. They don’t know, so
they don’t know how to be grateful either. They call us chaebols and poke the hell out
of us on a whim, but what would happen if we disappeared from this country?”

“It’ll be doomed in a blink of an eye. If the YM Group falls, Korea will become a
developing, no, poor country in an instant. But chairman, it’s not like everyone on
this land is an ignorant fool. I’ve had a look at the public opinion, but there are many
youths who think that businesses are the future and the lifeline of this country. So do
not worry too much.”
Junior director Kim would very much succeed with his flattery alone. He was a
complete smooth-talker. Of course, if that was all he had, he would have lost his
position a long time ago. The chairman does not have incompetent people by his side
after all.

“Anyway, ever since then, I have had to accept that those clowns have some abilities.
Little Hong, I knew that you longed to go to logistics, but I couldn’t let just anyone
take over the helm of a new business. The times have changed, so I should step in
line as well.”

“I will raise it well and meet your expectations, chairman.”

“I don’t think there will be a problem if it’s you. I don’t put the people I trust in vague
positions. I either have them right next to me or send them really far away. Junior
director Kim, this guy, he’s very good at flattery. He knows how to make me feel
pleased. Meanwhile, Little Hong, you don’t know how to fawn over people.”

“If you so wish, I will do that.”

“That’s no fun. What I want to say is that the two of you have different uses. Junior
director Kim, this fella, he’s quite good when it comes to consolidating the internal
atmosphere, but he’s not charismatic enough to lead a new business.”

“You’re right, sir.”

Junior director Kim never stopped his honey-coated tongue no matter what the
chairman said. The chairman faintly smiled.

“Little Hong, honestly speaking, you don’t have that much luck with relations. You’re
very good at coming up with new things, but you lack when it comes to consoling
those around you.”

“I think so too.”

“Soul, try raising it well. I’ve given the word, so if you ever get stuck while trying to
handle money, you can contact my line. Try reaching out to everyone that’s doing
well these days. I’ve been told that SC and DK are also making plans below the
waters, so watch out and do not fall behind.”

“Yes, sir.”
“Also, there’s someone I’d like you to look out for.”

“What?”

Janghae put down his chopsticks and looked at the chairman. This was the first time
the chairman was asking him to do something. The monarch that ruled a kingdom
always gave orders instead of asking for requests or expressing things in an indirect
fashion.

“I’m talking about my grandson. He’s doing his activities in the entertainment world
without revealing his background, but the world isn’t that easy, is it?”

“You must be talking about Mr. Kang Giwoo, sir?”

“Yes, yes. He’s a smart kid. He doesn’t take after his mother; he takes after me. He’s a
boy worth raising.”

“Weren’t you going to call him into the company soon?”

“That was the plan. It’s a pity for a man to waste his life doing clown stuff. But he has
big ambitions. Apparently, in America, the words of a celebrity may decide the
senator of a state or whatnot. The new generation, was it? Anyway, the things that
that little one does are quite cute. As a grandfather, I can’t just sit by doing nothing.”

“Should I bring him over to Soul?”

“Take him in and watch him well. Also, teach him how the world works. Your style
should fit him better than junior director Kim’s.”

“I will do so.”

“Of course, don’t tell him that I was involved in it. Although he hasn’t matured, he’s a
man. so it should hurt his pride.”

“If that’s the case, I might be a little rough on him.”

“I will let it slide to a certain extent. It’s a good thing to grow up strong, but don’t be
too hard.”

The chairman smiled pleasantly. As this was the first thing that the chairman ‘asked’
him to do, he couldn’t make a mistake. Janghae pushed all the reports to the back of
his mind and engraved the name ‘Kang Giwoo’.

“And also, while you’re here.”

The chairman stood up. Junior director Kim quickly pushed back his chair and tried
to stand up, but the chairman gestured to him to stay seated. The chairman left for a
while before returning with two boxes. Janghae could tell with one look that those
boxes contained watches.

“Here, take one.”

Janghae lowered his head as he accepted the box. He saw a brand-name logo in the
corner.

“Open it and put it on so I can see if it fits you or not. I’d be rather embarrassed if I
bought you something weird.”

Janghae felt uneasy the moment he looked at the logo. He barely held back from
groaning when he opened the box. Inside was a watch that cost hundreds of millions
of won. That wasn’t the bad part. The problem was that Janghae had put dibs on this
watch to buy it at the end of the year.

He looked at junior director Kim. He was also a little stiff but soon regained his smile.
It seemed that he got the watch he wanted as well.

The watches they wanted - Janghae never told the chairman that he wanted this
watch. He didn’t tell anyone about it, yet, the chairman found out and prepared one
for him.

“I shall do my best,” Janghae said as he put on the watch.

“Yes, try your best.”

The chairman put on a faint smile and told them to leave. Jangahae stood up from his
seat and took a deep bow before leaving through the door. Junior director Kim
followed him out.

“He’s a scary man,” said junior director Kim.

“I’ll be leaving now.”

“Yeah, see you later. Let’s have a drink just by ourselves next time.”

“Yes.”

Janghae gave the driver that junior director Kim called over his car keys. On his way
home, he rubbed the watch several times. He felt like it was a handcuff instead of a
watch.

“I guess it’s better than nothing.”

There was only a paper-thin difference between trust and suspicion. For now, this
was proof that he had the trust of the chairman, so now it was time for him to prove
his worth. He would have to move busily if he didn’t want this watch to be his
retirement gift.
“Sora, let’s go to the noraebang together after school.”

“Can’t. I have an interview after school today.”

“An interview?”

Sora waved at her clueless friends before leaving the classroom. Two days ago, she
received a call. A movie magazine named ‘Movie Sound’ wanted to do an interview.
She was drowsy when she got the call, so she was in a daze for a while. When she got
herself together, she thought that it was a prank call. If the journalist did not explain
clearly, she would have pressed the end call button and gone to the land of dreams.

“Maru-seonbae.”

She opened the door to 3rd-year electrical engineering class 2. The seniors sitting at
their desks all turned their heads around and looked at her. Sora smiled awkwardly
at the teacher who was standing at the front before closing the door. They hadn’t
finished their homeroom yet. She was waiting outside while looking at the time
when the front door opened along with the last greeting. The teacher in charge of the
acting club told her to be careful. Sora apologized.

“Why were you in such a hurry?”

“Because there’s an interview!”

“There are 20 minutes left.”

“We should go there early.”

“You’re way too excited.”

“I can’t help it. It’s an interview, you know? An interview with a famous magazine
too. When else would I get a chance like this in my life? Well, you might not feel much
because you show up on TV every weekend, but that’s not the same for me.”
“Yes, yes.”

Sora dragged the grumbling Maru by the arm. ‘Movie Sound’ was a long-time movie
magazine that filled up one wall of the film production club. She couldn’t help but be
excited since she got an interview from such a major magazine.

“Quickly.”

She urged Maru, who was changing his shoes leisurely, and then left the school gates
and crossed the road. They crossed the city park and a pedestrian overpass, before
reaching a commercial district. After seeing the coffee shop, the place they were
appointed to meet, Sora told Maru to come quickly before opening the door.

“There are 10 minutes left.”

“You shouldn’t have too high hopes, you know?”

“Why?”

“It’s just a student interview, there’s nothing amazing about it.”

“I heard it’ll fill up 3 whole pages.”

“3 pages?”

Maru made a confused expression. Sora also maintained her calm before she heard
the length, but when the journalist told her that she’d take up 3 whole pages
including a photo, she couldn’t stay still due to excitement. She had seen the
magazines in the clubroom, so she knew how much 3 pages were worth.

“Should we order something?”

“Do it when the journalist comes.”

“Seonbae, what time is it now?”

“Check over there,” Maru replied back before taking out his notepad from his pocket.

Sora was curious about what was in it but did not ask. His eyes were really scary
when he looked at that notepad. She felt like she would get cut if she touched him.
Sora grew up hearing that she was quick-witted. Just like what others said about her,
she was talented at reading other people’s moods. She was complimented a lot by
adults for knowing when to approach and when to leave them alone. Her intuition
told her that this was the time to leave him alone.

Maru kept flipping over the pages before returning to the first page. He wrote
something with a pen before flipping again. He kept going through that process.
Although she was sitting at the same table as him, she felt like he was really distant.

His notepad returned to his pocket when the journalist came. The female journalist,
who had on a pair of catchy white glasses, asked them what they wanted to drink
before she sat down.

“Kiwi juice for me.”

“Cappuccino.”

The woman ordered the drinks before returning. She smiled and said that she
enjoyed the film.

“You watched our film?”

“Yes. It was really well-made.”

The female journalist took out a notepad and a device that looked like a voice
recorder.

“Can I have a look at this?”

“The voice recorder? Sure.”

Sora turned on the voice recorder and tried recording. When she played it back, she
heard a clear voice from the device. It finally felt real to her that she was doing an
interview. While the woman got ready to do the interview, Maru brought over the
drinks.

“Shall we have some drinks for now?”

“Yes.”
She drank a sip of the juice as she observed the woman. She was a fashionable
person with catchy accessories. She was wearing a white bracelet to match her white
glasses and was wearing a trench coat for the autumn season.

“Shall we have a light talk first? Don’t be too conscious of the fact that you’re doing
an interview and just think of it as chatting with a girl older than you. It tends to
make things a lot easier.”

“Yes.”

“First up, are you two a couple?” the woman asked while locking her hands.

Sora smiled as soon as she heard that question.

“Do we look like one?”

“You two do suit each other.”

“No, he’s just a seonbae.”

“How unfortunate. If you two were dating, there would be a lot more to write for the
interview. When did you start taking interest in film?”

“If it’s watching, I liked it since I was young, but I only thought about creating one for
the first time when I was in my 3rd year of middle school.”

“Was there a trigger of some sorts?”

“I watched a movie on TV and it was terribly boring. That’s when I thought that I
could make something better than that. Now, I’ve come to understand how hard it
was to create even that. Shooting is a really hard process, huh.”

“You realized a lot in just one year. Oh, you are in your first year, right?”

“Yes.”

“What kind of genre interested you the most? Documentary-style that touches on
controversial topics like ‘Classroom’ which you did?”

“No, I originally liked action movies. I mean, hot action has that taste.”
“Really? Then I guess you must have been rather disappointed when you were
creating your piece this time. There was a genre you wanted to do after all.”

“Not necessarily. When I made synopses, I did make some of them with action in
mind, but when I actually thought about enacting them in reality, I hit a limit pretty
fast. Action movies aren’t something you can shoot in a day or two either. It was then
that I came across a piece of news.”

“So you got your motif from there huh? A bullying accident?”

“Yes. I thought about doing a refreshing revenge story, but that usually doesn’t
happen in real life. That’s when I thought about showing bullying for what it is.”

The journalist nodded. She was drinking coffee with one hand when she suddenly
made an expression that looked like she had remembered something she had
forgotten.

“Oh right, I haven’t told you my name yet, have I?”

She took out a business card from her wallet and pushed it forward. Sora accepted
the business card. ‘Movie Sound, Koo Yura’ was written on it.

“A movie critic, who was one of the judges for the festival, praised it for the structure
of the plot. A drama writer did the same.”

“Really?”

“Apparently, they liked how it showed everything for what it is so indifferently. They
said that you’re bound to use different techniques if you were greedy to show off, but
you focused on the story instead.”

“Actually, the scenario I first came up with is really different from the one we used for
the movie.”

“What do you mean by that?”

Sora looked at Maru, who was just quietly drinking coffee next to her, before
speaking,

“I think I need to clear this up first. Maru-seonbae originally didn’t have any
intentions of shooting with us. Meanwhile, I was of the opinion that nobody else
would do except him.”

“Was there a problem?”

“He was of the opinion that the scenario is too incomplete and thus will not
participate. Honestly speaking, I was a little angry back then. He just disrespected
my scenario after all.”

Journalist Koo Yura looked at Maru. Maru just shrugged.

“But that turned out to be a good thing. If he didn’t point out the problems back then,
the final product would look a lot different from how it is now. I thought about it
again after getting an earful from him. What am I trying to show through this film;
where am I going to put my focus? That’s how the edited version of ‘Classroom’ came
to be.”

“Sounds like there were a lot of ups and downs.”

“Yes.”

“I don’t think there’s a film in this world that goes smoothly from beginning to end.
There are many big titles that start crashing midway. The crux of the issue is how to
get up from that crash and how to clean it up.”

“I think so too.”

Sora spoke with excitement. The journalist induced her to say everything she
wanted. She kept asking questions so that she didn’t stop talking, and Sora was
impressed by how she induced her to keep speaking. She felt that not just anyone
could become a journalist for a major magazine.

“Our boy here is a little quiet,” journalist Koo Yura talked to Maru this time.

“I don’t think it’s my turn yet. Also, I believe that it’s only proper for the director to
do the talking.”

“From what Sora said, it sounds like you participated in the production instead of
just the acting. Am I wrong?”
“I just said what anyone else could say from the side. There will always be
busybodies in whatever you do. There are things that you can see from the sidelines
that you can’t see it while doing it yourself.”

“How humble of you.”

Journalist Koo fiddled with the pen between her fingers.

“Since we’re at it, I do want to hear something from you too, Maru.”

“Yes, go ahead.”

“Maru, you are an actor who has shown your face on public TV programs, right?”

“Well, I’d be rather embarrassed to call myself an actor with the things I have done.”

“If you’re earning money at your age, you can be considered an actor. There aren’t
many people who can win a fixed role in a series while they’re still in high school.
Moreover, I heard that you were starting another mini-series soon, right? No wait,
have you begun shooting already?”

So she dug into him already. Sora thought that they came across a good journalist.
She was worried that they might end up talking about just trivial stuff without
getting into the important details but seeing that journalist Koo had done her
research put her at ease.

“The shoot began, yes.”

“How’s the atmosphere there?”

“There are times when it’s good, and there are times when it’s bad.”

“How about the people that shoot with you? Do they treat you well?”

“There are times when they treat me well, and there are times when they don’t.”

Sora looked at Maru. All he gave were vague answers. Even journalist Koo tilted her
head since he looked like he was dodging the questions. He looked like he was in a
bad mood before, so was this related to that?
“In your shoot for ‘New Semester’……”

“Miss.”

Before journalist Koo could finish her words, Maru interrupted. Sora felt nervous.
The smile on Maru-seonbae’s face looked frosty.

“As far as I know, this interview is supposed to be about the youth film festival. Am I
wrong?”

“That’s right.”

“Then I see no relation to my dramas.”

“But the people who read the magazine want to know more about the interviewees,
so it’s fine to say what you’re up to right now.”

“If it’s like that, then just go with ‘I’m shooting a drama and preparing for one as
well’. This girl is supposed to be the main character, so I don’t think there’s a need to
talk about me in so much detail. Don’t you think so too?”

“That’s true, but I still think this much is fine.”

“Yes, this much is fine. If it’s just this much.”

Sora looked at Maru and journalist Koo alternately. There seemed to be a mental war
between the two. But why?

“Fine. Shall we go back to talking about the film then? Based on what Sora said, it
sounds like you didn’t have any intentions of proactively participating in the film.”

“I did try to proactively participate in the film.”

“That’s not what I heard from her.”

“I’m not sure from what perspective you’re asking, but from mine, ‘proactively’ doing
something is doing something properly. The scenario that Sora showed me back then
was unpolished. That’s why I said I will participate if the scenario becomes better.”

“Really? Then can I ask you one more thing? Leaving aside Sora, why did you
participate in the film festival?”

“Someone I know told me that there was something called the youth film festival that
began this year, and they told me that some people at my school are preparing for it.
That’s how I met her.”

“So you didn’t participate in it on your own accord, but because of someone else’s
advice? So another person’s advice played a bigger role in making you participate?”

Sora felt like journalist Koo’s question was loaded. Just then, Maru audibly laughed
before replying,

“Of course not. Are you going to quit your company if I ‘advised’ you to quit? Advice
is just advice. It’s me who makes the decision. I did it because I wanted to. I’m rather
confused because you’re being roundabout for such an obvious thing.”

Maru had spoken as he wiped the lip of his cup with a finger.
“Journalist, I didn’t say anything wrong, did I?”

“Well, you didn’t, I was just a little curious. You should be busy with drama shoots
and all sorts of other things, but you’re investing your time into a school club, not to
mention a club that you aren’t even in.”

“So you even know that I belong to the acting club, huh.”

“It’s natural to find that out as an interviewer. You could also say that it’s minimum
courtesy.”

“I’m surprised that you found out so much about me when I’m not worth anything
much.”

Sora wanted to interrupt midway, but she couldn’t say anything as there was a thick
wall around the two of them. She wondered why such a wall was made. Why did
Maru look like he was hostile, and why did the journalist keep asking roundabout
questions? Everything was a question to her.

“In any case, you found out that the youth film festival was taking place through
another person and was advised to participate, right?”

“Yes, I guess that’s true.”

“Who was it that advised you to do so?”

“Well, I want to know why you are so curious about who that person is, journalist.”

Journalist Koo wiped her lower lip with her pinky. The red lipstick got smudged onto
her finger. To Sora, it looked like blood.

“Maru, is it me or does it sound like you hate me?”

“Of course I don’t. I want to answer your questions as earnestly as possible. It’s just
that I want to talk about me, Sora and the film festival, but you keep asking about my
private life which made me feel uneasy. You know that it’s rare for students like us to
appear in a magazine. I just wanted to make as much out of this opportunity as I
can.”

“You make it sound like I’m asking strange questions.”

“They aren’t strange, but if it sounded like that, then I don’t really have anything to
tell you.”

Sora laughed and drank her cold kiwi juice. While it was the other two holding a
conversation, she felt like it was her who was being burned out. She felt like she was
placed in between two growling fighting dogs.

She lowered her phone beneath the table and moved her fingers. Sending texts
without looking was something that any high school girl in South Korea was capable
of doing.

Maru’s phone started ringing.

“Oh, please excuse me.”

While Maru opened his phone to check his text, Sora looked at the journalist and
made a faint smile. The journalist smiled back at her. The needle-sharp atmosphere
became loose in an instant which made it look like the mind war between the two
hadn’t occurred at all.

“Let’s continue,” Maru said.

You aren’t angry, right? - that was the text she sent him and Maru used his actions to
answer her. He was smiling, but his eyes had turned frosty. Sora thought about the
expression Maru showed when he first read her scenario. It was extremely similar to
his face right now. He was clearly displeased with this situation.

“If I happened to hurt your feelings, I apologize. It’s entirely my responsibility if the
interview does not go smoothly, so tell me if you are dissatisfied with anything.”

“There’s nothing like that. Like I said before, I just want you to talk more about Sora
and the film festival rather than me. Since it’s a movie magazine, you should focus
the interview on future film people.”
Sora looked at Maru, who lightly patted her on the shoulder. She felt two things
simultaneously. The reliability of a senior who was looking out for a junior, as well as
the sneakiness of a senior that dodged a difficult topic.

Journalist Koo nodded once before switching the topic. Everything that occurred
after that was about the film festival. For example, they would talk about what
happened at the award ceremony. When she heard that the mayor had left halfway
through the ceremony, journalist Koo truly became angry. At least, that’s how it
looked to Sora’s eyes.

“Before we get to the most important question about your feelings about receiving
the grand prize, did you expect to get it?”

The atmosphere of the interview became warm. Sora forgot about the warfare
between Maru and journalist Koo and spoke joyfully,

“No, I didn’t. Of course, I did think that we’d get one prize at least, but I didn’t think it
would be the grand prize.”

“So you were confident in winning a prize anyway?”

“Yes. We had a hard time shooting it, and the result was good too. The camera I got
from a graduate really helped out a lot. The quality was really good.”

“For me personally, I think that camera work was great. Quality is something that
you can solve with a better camera but focusing and angling isn’t something that a
good camera can improve. It only improves through trial and error.”

“You’re right. The seonbae that was in charge of the camera really worked hard. I
nagged him to reshoot many times over. Oh, Maru-seonbae over here also worked
hard. I just had to give instructions and watch the video later, but the two seonbaes
had to move constantly.”

“A director’s job is to bring out the best of each part. Being too labor-intensive is also
a problem.”

Journalist Koo stopped the voice recorder once and turned it on again. She also
wrote something down on her notepad. It seemed like she was organizing the main
points so that she would have an easier time summarizing later.
“In the eyes of a director, how is Han Maru as an actor?”

Sora replied without hesitation,

“He’s the best you can get. Honestly, the acting for the main character in Classroom is
pretty hard. It’s static, and the details in the emotional expression are important, so
anyone else wouldn’t have been the same.”

“So only Maru could do it?”

“Of course. I didn’t ask him to do it for no reason.”

“That’s a lot of trust you have there. Maru said he found out about you through
someone else, so then how did you find out about him? Did you know him before
that?”

Sora shook her head.

“We didn’t know each other. I just knew him one-sidedly. I found out that he is acting
through TV first. After that, I went to the acting club to check the real deal. I would
have been disappointed if reality was different from looking through a screen, but he
wasn’t like that. I chose him as the main character the moment I saw him.”

“What were you going to do if he refused?”

“Well, I’m not sure. I don’t assume that something’s not going to work when I do
things. If I’m going to do it, make it work. That’s how I roll.”

“That sounds passionate. It’s a kind of power that is hard to see in kids these days.
Are you going to place more interest in film in the future and go down that route?”

“I’m not sure yet. I really want to do it, but I have to think about realistic problems. I
don’t want to be starving.”

“Your words now should make many nameless directors sad. I hope you can
challenge it though. With your senses, you should be able to keep producing good
results.”

“Thank you. I’ll try hard whenever I have it hard.”

“That would be an honor for me. Don’t forget about me if you become successful.”

“Yes. If I ever become successful it will be thanks to you, journalist Koo Yura. I’ll tell
everyone about it.”

The interview progressed smoothly. They talked about a lot of things, so there
should be plenty of content. She was slightly nervous since this was her first
interview, but she didn’t freeze up, perhaps thanks to journalist Koo’s smooth
progressing skills.

“Then shall I ask a few things to Maru to wrap things up? I think I heard enough
about the director.”

“Yes! Talk a lot about seonbae in the interview as well. It’s just my prediction, but
he’ll become big in the future.”

She sighed in relief before finishing off the juice. That war from before won’t happen
again, right? She watched journalist Koo’s mouth in relief.

“What did you find the hardest throughout shooting this movie?”

“I have to say the heat. I was sweaty, and there was a scene where I had to keep
walking under the sun, so it was a little hard.”

“Did you make a lot of NGs?”

“Well, I don’t know. I’m not sure what our director thinks about this, but I usually
don’t make NGs.”

Sora quickly added that there weren’t many NGs.

“You are very talented to put out such a good act with few NGs. Even I could see that
there were lots of acts that required difficult emotional expressions. I think you have
what people call talent, seeing as how you can digest all that without much of a
problem.”

Journalist Koo Yura put the cup against her mouth and said in passing,

“Then should I call JA Production amazing for seeing through to that talent? Anyway,
they’re amazing.”
Sora looked at Maru. He didn’t say anything.

“Since we’re at it, how’s JA Production these days? There are a lot of hot actors there,
right? So will you become one of the future superstars too after all?”

Journalist Koo asked Maru with a gentle smile. Sora agreed with her. It seemed like
she was going to write good things about him in the interview.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”

“Why? JA is an amazing place, isn’t it? You can have more confidence.”

“I’m just a bottom-of-the-rung. I don’t even get that much help. Though, I’ll probably
receive help if I become a little more useful.”

She couldn’t understand his actions at all. Sora wanted to scold him and tell him to
be more gentle. The reason she did not say it out loud was because she was afraid of
what would happen if she actually said those words out loud. Today, this seonbae
made a lot of scary expressions.

Journalist Koo, who was fidgeting with her pen, suddenly made a ‘hmm’ sound. She
seemed angry in a different sense to Maru-seonbae.

“There was a journalist related to JA among the judges. Did you know that?”

Sora stared at journalist Koo when she heard this rather sudden topic. The gentle
face she had until now had disappeared, and now she had the eyes of a predator.
Sora tensed her toes. The atmosphere didn’t seem good. She realized that she should
refrain from talking for the time being. On top of that, her instincts screamed at her
to watch out for her future actions.

“No.”

Unlike journalist Koo who hurled blocks of ice at him, Maru looked indifferent. In
fact, he even yawned. He looked completely different from the stiff log from five
minutes ago and that made him look like a completely different person. Journalist
Koo tapped the table with her pen in a nervous manner.

“I didn’t ask with any intentions. I was just mentioning.”

“Yes, I know that. I was just thinking that it was a really useless question as well.”

“A useless question, you say. That makes me feel hurt.”

“If I hurt you, allow me to apologize. We were talking about something completely
unrelated to the interview that I thought I was talking to someone who wasn’t from a
movie magazine. You didn’t create this place to do something as lowly as trying to dig
up some gossip, right?”

Gossip - that easy-to-understand word made Sora glare at journalist Koo.

“I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

“If an interviewer doesn’t know what kind of stance she should take and doesn’t
understand what the interviewee is saying, then I can say these about such an
interview - a waste of time and a powerless interview from an incompetent
interviewer.”

Journalist Koo smiled brightly. She put down her pen and picked up the camera.

“Should we take a photo?”

***

“This fucker really a kid?”

Koo Yura pushed her cigarette to the corner of her lips. Anger rushed to the top of
her head. She was driving back to her company, but she couldn’t hold back, so she
parked on the side of the road and cursed.

-Journalist Koo.

“Yes.”

-I think you forgot who’s on the other side of the phone.

Koo Yura threw away her cigarette and bit her lower lip. She was very angry, but it
wasn’t to the point that even her sense of crisis had been paralyzed.

“Sorry. I was so angry that he slipped out like an eel that I ended up being rude to
you, president.”

-I like you, journalist Koo. You’re a woman, but you have the coverage power,
connections, and writing skills. That’s why I left it to you to do it, but you just had me
reevaluate you. I didn’t know you couldn’t even deal with a rat like him and had to do
a boring interview.

“I’m sorry. But you should understand if you listened to it. He’s not an ordinary guy.
Usually, boys around his age would say everything if they get praised a little, but he
cut off my route from the very beginning as though he knew the plan from the start.
He’s very skilled too. He didn’t do it just once or twice. Someone had to have given
him a pre-interview and even censored the questions beforehand. That’s not
something a kid like him can do.”

-I get that too. He’s careful to not say anything that has a double meaning. He’s like a
skilled politician in that area.

“There should have been a consultant. Are you sure he didn’t find out about our info
beforehand, president Hong?”

-I’ll look into that. For now, write the interview as you took it. We were done in this
time, so don’t try anything dirty.

“Yes, I have my pride as a journalist too. The interview will be a proper one.”

-Okay, thanks for your work. See you in a hotel next time.

“Okay. Oh, president Hong. Thanks for the tea.”

-Nah. I treat my people well.

Koo Yura quietly hung up.

Sora looked in front of her. Maru was cutting up a hamburger steak with his fork. He
was using the side of the fork so it was being crushed. There was a knife right next to
the hot stone plate, but he didn’t even look at it.

“Don’t you feel uncomfortable doing that?” Sora asked as she pointed at the knife
with a fork in her hand.

“This is easier for me.”

He used his fork to cut it until the end. He strangely seemed like her father when it
came to being stubborn in the weirdest ways. Even though her mother gave her
father a specialized knife to cut raw chestnuts, he was always adamant on using a
fruit knife to do it. He looked like a child when he smiled while boasting the smooth-
looking chestnut.

“A knife should be much easier to use though.”

“Don’t you ever nag Ando like that. Ando might run away from you.”

“Ando-seonbae probably uses a knife though.”

She used her fork to pick up a piece of cut meat and put it in her mouth. The hot
meat juice flowed down between her teeth. Eating delicious food was a joyous thing.

“Anyway, why did you act like that during the interview?” she asked after emptying
her plate.

“What do you mean?”

“Of course I’m talking about your attitude. I also noticed that she had other
intentions at the end. But I didn’t notice anything before that, yet you acted cold to
her from the moment the interview started. Did you hear bad rumors about her
beforehand or something?”

“No, that was the first time I came into contact with her today.”
Maru sipped some water.

“Then why did you act like that?”

“A man’s intuition?”

“You’re kidding.”

“I’m half serious though.”

“Then what’s the other half? I’m asking because I’m really curious. That journalist
looked really angry, but she smiled in the end. It was probably because of that last
question. Just what was that?”

Maru acted uncooperative from the start of the interview. She would understand if
Maru was some psychopath, but he wasn’t, which made it stranger that he was
avoiding the point of the questions and giving vague answers the whole time. If
journalist Koo Yura didn’t mention the relationship between JA Production and the
journalist that participated as a judge, Sora would have scolded Maru for giving
nonsensical answers.

Maru pulled out a napkin and wiped his mouth.

“I wouldn’t say this if it was anyone else, but you’re related to this, so I guess you
should know about it. There’s one person among the judges related to my agency.
Well, from another perspective, there might be more than one?”

Sora was about to ask ‘what about it?’ but then realized the severity of the situation.
She realized what journalist Koo Yura’s intentions were by asking that question, and
why Maru was acting on edge the whole time.

“So we got the grand prize because you were…”

“The journalist’s intention was to make us think that way. Even you, who’s directly
involved in it, thinks that way. What would other people think when they saw it?”

“They would think that there is some form of cheating going on.”

Maru nodded.
“Seonbae, tell me the truth. Is it just like she is suspecting, and this grand prize we
got is related to you?”

“What are you going to do if I say yes?”

Sora tensed her eyes.

“I’m going to call the city hall right now and tell them that there was something
wrong with the results.”

Sora didn’t plan to stay still when she found out. She wasn’t doing it for the sake of
justice; it was for the sake of her pride. She couldn’t care less about a prize that she
got through someone else’s name value.

Maru smiled.

“It’s that journalist’s intention to make us act like that. Don’t get excited. You did win
that prize with your skill.”

“Really?”

“I mean, think about it. There are six total judges. There’s only one journalist related
to JA. Do you think he would have the authority to choose who gets the grand prize
as he wished?”

“That’s true. Then why did that journalist ask something like that?”

“I’m not sure about the details, but it must have been at the request of someone who
does not like JA.”

Maru stood up. Sora also got her wallet and walked over to the counter. She paid
with her card before leaving the store.

“Thanks. It was even more delicious because the food was free.”

“But are you sure this is enough for casting you?”

“I am.”

Sora took Maru to the fruit juice store right next door. While they waited for their
order, they continued talking about what they were talking about earlier.

“There’s something I haven’t heard from you yet. How did you immediately notice
that the journalist approached us with bad intentions?”

“I was actually bothered by the fact that a famous movie magazine wanted to
interview us in the first place.”

“Why? We got the grand prize, so an interview doesn’t sound that far-fetched.”

A store employee handed them their fruit juice in plastic cups. Sora gave the
strawberry juice to Maru.

“I’ll have to answer your questions if I drink this, right?”

“I’m going to ask even if you don’t drink it. You know I can’t hold back my
curiosities.”

She looked at Maru, who clearly seemed bothered. Maru took a sip of the strawberry
juice before speaking,

“This is the first time the film festival took place. And it was on a city level too. Do
you remember how the mayor acted that day?”

“Do you mean how he visited midway and disappeared after a few words?”

“Yes. If it was an important event, there’s no way the mayor would act like that.
Although it is called the first film festival, it’s uncertain whether there’ll be a second
one. It might be a one-shot event.”

“So?”

“I’m saying that it’s not a competition that’s weighty enough for a famous magazine
to talk about it. It has no power, and the money invested in it was minimal too. You
can see just how half-assed it was from seeing how there was a whole two months of
delay because they were lacking manpower.”

“Yes.”

“Is it really an incredible feat to win a grand prize for an event that was obviously
held in a hurry? To the point that it’s worth a three-page long interview? The youth
acting festival is much bigger in scale compared to the film festival this time, but
there wasn’t a single time when a major magazine interviewed their winners. Only
someone from the local newspaper will take a photo and write a few lines. That
would then go on the internet, and no actual news would be released on paper.”

“That’s true, but didn’t you go too far by suspecting her just based on that?”

“Her questions were obviously suspicious. When she was addressing you, she
earnestly asked you about the film festival, but when she talked to me, she suddenly
talked about dramas. That much is understandable. It’s not weird to ask me for a
status update. However, don’t you think it’s strange for her to keep digging into that?
The way she flattered me also made me suspicious.”

“That’s true. She did ask you some questions that were far from the point.”

“I would understand if the interviewer was unskilled, but it doesn’t make sense for
someone who is meticulous enough to do some background digging to keep asking
strange questions. I can only conclude that she intended to do that from the start. If
she wasn’t there to play around with the interview, it meant that she had ulterior
motives, so I naturally chose to dodge her questions.”

Sora nodded. Looking back, journalist Koo had sharp eyes whenever she asked
something to Maru. She had a different presence about her when she was asking
questions related to JA, and when she was asking questions about the film festival.
She didn’t notice it back then, but she realized the difference after hearing Maru’s
words.

“Then what was that? She came to us for an interview because you’re in JA? Not
because of the grand prize?”

Maru shook his head.

“That’s not entirely it. What I’m saying is only an assumption and a prediction on my
part. Their editing team might have taken interest in future film people and asked
journalist Koo to get coverage. If someone asked her to do a personal favor midway,
it would lead to our current situation. Since they aren’t a magazine that can write
just anything, the head editor should have given permission beforehand. I can say
with confidence that the magazine agency took interest in this matter.”
“If you say it like that, I don’t know which is the truth. It feels iffy.”

“The truth is this: you splendidly managed to finish the film, and the grand prize
certificate is hanging on the wall of the film production club.”

“And I have the prize money.”

“And that too.”

Sora puffed up one cheek. She understood it vaguely, but she still had one more
question.

“But if journalist Koo is suspecting of shady, behind-the-back deals, isn’t it better for
her to go ask that journalist directly? I mean that journalist who is supposedly
related to JA.”

Maru replied while scratching his eyebrows,

“It must have been difficult to face another journalist just like her. Also, shady
dealings are things that journalists belonging to the social department should
handle, right? It’s not something a journalist who only interviews related personnel
can investigate easily. If Journalist Koo was requested by someone to do something
that would eventually tarnish JA’s reputation, she probably thought that she should
deal with immature students rather than a quick-witted journalist.”

“That sounds like a drama or something.”

“Not really. You know in classrooms, people separate into factions and talk to each
other cheerfully but also talk bad behind their backs.”

“There are girls who do that, but I’m not one of them! I would talk bad in front of
them!”

Maru laughed.

“Yeah, if you’re going to talk bad about people, you might as well do it right in front
of them. Anyway, they gossip about unproven facts and giggle about it, don’t they?
This is the same thing but on an adult level. If there’s a difference, it’s that verbal
rumors gain ground through text and that emotional fights become a fight of money.
There are a lot of similarities in student societies and adult societies. It’s just a
matter of how you package it. The kids do it openly but adults hide it well. That’s
why kids have an easier time reconciling - they know what each other is thinking.
With adults, we don’t know what each other is thinking, so we become even more
suspicious.”

“You’re still a kid too, so why are you using ‘we’ when talking about adults?”

“I’ve lived two more years than you, so treat me like an adult.”

Sora drank the juice and chewed on chunks of ice. She thought that this was the last
drink of its kind for the year. The wind was getting chilly. It was about time to say
goodbye to cold drinks.

“But you know?”

“Hm?”

“We did get the grand prize with our skill right?”

She accepted it, but it still nagged her like when she turned off the lights just before
leaving the house.

“Just think about it normally. Do you think an agency would try rigging a film festival
that doesn’t even go on TV? I wouldn’t do that. I would promote another actor if I
have the time to do that.”

Don’t you think so too? - Maru asked her.

Sora smiled, responding ‘that’s true’.

“Now that I look at you, you’re quite pitiful. It sounds like your agency doesn’t care
for you that much.”

“They’ll probably give me help if I become bigger.”

Sora looked at Maru who was smiling bitterly and shook off her doubt completely.

***

“So it was like that after all.”

-I thought that it wouldn’t leak out, but I seemed to have been mistaken.

“From the way she mentioned JA directly, she sounded like she had a source that she
could confide in. I’m not sure if it was her individual action or whether the editing
office gave her that instruction, but it seems pretty clear that someone who doesn’t
like you had a hand in this.”

-You can’t say that for sure.

Maru kicked off the ground to push the swing he was on more.

“Then they wanted to put the blame on me? I’m just a kid who’s not worth that
much.”

-You never know what will happen. If there’s something I learned while working in
this area, it’s that humans are very incredibly petty. I said this before, right? You’re
too clear when drawing the line. Though, from what I hear these days, you seemed to
have gotten softer. Still, it’s not strange to say that there are people who find you an
eyesore.

“If you say it like that, there are quite a lot of people that come to mind.”

-You’re still young, so why are you creating enemies already?

“We can’t be sure of anything yet. Honestly speaking, you have a hundred times more
enemies than I do, don’t you?”

He could hear a laugh over the phone.

“For now, I didn’t mention anything about that. I also explained it to the girl that
came with me, so there shouldn’t be a problem.”

-Tell her that she won it through skill. She’s at the age where dreams should drive her
to grow up. There’s no need to show her the reality.

“Yes, that’s what I told her. But I didn’t know you were so considerate of me.”

-Why? Do you not like it because I’m meddling with you?

“No, there’s no one who would refuse help. I’m just thankful that you are taking
interest in an ordinary actor like me.”

-I can’t have you be ordinary. I have a reputation to keep up. For now, catch up to
Sooil in name value. I’ll be able to give you proper support then.

“Understood.”

-As for the journalist, I’ll look into it myself, so don’t mind yourself with her.

After staying silent for a while, Junmin laughed.

-I thought this the first time I met you, but you’re way too mature for your age. You
sound completely natural talking like this. Why don’t you live a younger life? Think
more about hopes and dreams.

“I’m only in my 3rd year of high school. If I become any younger, I might as well be
babbling like a baby.”

After listening to the president telling him to get some rest, Maru hung up after
waiting for a while. Maru pressed some buttons on his phone and brought up a
photo. It was a photo of the film production club holding the grand prize.

“The truth isn’t important.”

Rather than the harsh truth, the convenient truth was much better.

Maru got off the swing and walked towards the bus stop.
If there was a rock-paper-scissors match where winning would win 1,000 won and
losing meant nothing, everyone would want to do it. If winning meant 10,000 won
and losing meant losing 1,000 won, most people would still probably do it. The risks
were low and the chances of winning were high. Then, increasing the scale a little,
what if winning meant 100,000 won and losing meant losing 10,000 won? People
would start hesitating. What if it was 1 million for a win and losing 500,000 for a
loss? Those who had deep pockets might try, but the number of participants would
decrease significantly.

Maru took his finger off the call button. This was a gamble that staked the very
purpose of his life, no, something even more fundamental than that. If he succeeded,
he would gain mental stability and the willpower to forge ahead, but if he failed, he
would lose all motivation to move forward and would collapse on the spot. Stopping
would be fortunate. He might end up regressing. Everything might come to an end.

Maru wished for her success and stared at the name ‘Han Gaeul’, which he saved on
his phone, before closing the phone. The masked man referred to ‘her’ several times.
He even gave a hint as to who ‘she’ was: the woman you’ll love forever. Only one
person came to mind when Maru thought of that. If Gaeul was the reason his life was
being repeated, things would get complicated. It meant that the life of Han Maru was
centered around Han Gaeul.

The Han Marus that died until now all married Gaeul without fail. The probability of
marrying the same woman in numerous different lives with infinitely many variables
was probably around the same as tossing coins and making a tower by lining them
up vertically. No matter how much the memory-reset Han Maru tried, it would be
impossible to always win over the heart of an individual. Although his life was being
repeated as though he was on a hamster wheel, he heard through the masked man
that the quality and the structure of the hamster wheel had changed every single
time.

Was it a cruel coincidence? Or was something like fate at play? Perhaps the condition
for him to revive was to meet Han Gaeul.
“Fine, let’s say that I revive like that.”

Maru looked at the luminescent stickers on the ceiling. If she was the cause of these
revivals, then why did her memories not carry over? Why did the requester have her
memories turn into a blank sheet, while the benefitter got one lifetime’s worth of
memories?

What puzzled him above all was the identity of the woman in the white suit. The
masked man referred to three ‘people’ as ‘her’ or ‘she’. The woman in a white suit,
the rabbit, and the ‘woman you’ll love forever’. If these three were the same
individual, the woman in the white suit would equal Han Gaeul based on
circumstantial evidence.

Everything would be solved if he could meet the woman in a white suit. Maru
laughed in vain. The masked man did not say a word about the things that were
important. The woman in the white suit might also shut her mouth if he tried to
approach the truth.

Whenever he looked at the woman in a suit, he felt that her beauty transcended
humanity, but he was also given a familiar feeling if he looked closer. If that woman’s
identity was Han Gaeul, that would also explain why he had a sense of deja vu.

Maru went out to the kitchen and took out some coffee milk and chocolate from the
fridge. It was time to supply his hardworking brain with some nutrition. Perhaps he
would get some creative ideas if he greased the folds of his brain with some sugar.

“I want some too.”

Bada had come out of her room and spoken. Maru was sure that she had sensors that
could detect snacks.

“Why are you at home?”

“Today is the school’s founding day. Why? You feel jealous because your sister is on
break?”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You’re taking a rest by using the excuse of work too.”

“I’m going to be leaving soon.”

“Really? So you are busy.”

“Would you like to go in my stead?”

“What celebrities are there?”

“None that you know of. Probably.”

“Then forget it. I’ll just watch TV at home. Rather than that, why don’t you give me
some of that thing in your hands?”

Maru snapped the chocolate in half and gave it to his sister. Bada put the chocolate in
her mouth.

“You don’t like chocolate that much. What’s up with you today?”

“It’s not my mouth that wants it. It’s my head.”

“Your head? Are you sick?”

“I wish I was sick instead. That's a much simpler problem.”

Bada tilted her head before turning around and telling him to get some sleep if he
was feeling tired. Maru turned on the TV and sat down on the sofa. It would be great
if he could narrow down his hypothesis, but he didn’t have a single piece of concrete
information and the number of variables kept increasing.

“If you’re inside, why don’t you answer me?” Maru questioned inwardly.

The masked man, his sole helper, had started a silent protest a while ago. It wasn’t
that he disappeared. He still existed inside him and kept giving him help when it
came to acting-related things. If there was a change, it was that personal
conversations came to a stop. At this time, Maru was unaware whether the masked
man was willingly shutting his mouth or whether he was forced to do so.

The reporter on the TV screen was making a happy expression as she ate a piece of
freshly-made rice cake. The trivial happiness of eating delicious food seemed so far
away from him. He was walking on top of a thin sheet of ice that might break at any
moment. No matter how careful he was, if one wrong step broke that sheet of ice, all
that would await him was the freezing cold water. He could neither return nor stop
right now. The only thing he could do was to keep walking ahead while putting all his
senses on their edge with the mindset of gambling.

After continuously changing the channel with the remote in his hand, Maru checked
the time and turned the TV off. He put some clothes on and picked up the bag he put
the script in before leaving the house.

“I told you to come out when I call you.”

“I came out ahead of time to cool my head a little.”

Byungchan unlocked the doors, telling him to get in quickly. Having gotten in the car,
Maru uttered a short sigh. The season was now one where the heated air from the
car felt welcome.

“You look tired. I heard you almost collapsed on set a while ago.”

“How did you know?”

“I have my ways.”

“I didn’t tell you about it because I thought you’d worry. The doctor said it wasn’t
anything much either.”

Byungchan nodded.

“Yes, it’s you we’re talking about, so I’m sure you can take care of yourself, but please
tell me about it. There are things that we should take care of at the company level.”

“Okay. I was too short-minded there. I will call you next time.”

It was true that he didn’t report properly because he felt chaotic organizing the
thoughts that flooded his mind.

“Take this and drink it.”

When the car stopped in front of a traffic light, Byungchan gave him a pouch. From
how there was a picture of a deer on the front, it seemed to be some sort of
medicinal tonic.

“You see that in the back? It’s a gift from the president. There’s yours as well as some
for your family. You said you had a sister right? Apparently, he also gave you Clarity
Tonic or something that apparently helps when studying.”

“Looks like I must give him a call to thank him.”

“He looks after his own people.”

“Yes, that’s true.”

He tore open the vinyl pouch and drank it in one gulp. It tasted similar to oriental flu
medicine that was sold on the streets. It seemed that the taste would be similar if the
medicines used were for general purpose use.

“You should have one too.”

“Shall I?”

Byungchan didn’t refuse. It was probably him who needed medicine the most. As he
had experience working as a manager, Maru knew the hardships that came along
with it.

“I think I feel energetic now.”

“You should look after yourself too. I feel like you’ve become thinner even though
you got a promotion.”

“It’s true that I just have to look after you and Sooil now, but it doesn’t mean I have
less work. We just got a new member, so I’m teaching him, but he’s shy around
strangers. I’m realizing how hard it is to teach other people.”

“A shy manager huh. He must have a hard time.”

“Yeah. Although he said he’s going to do his best, he’ll probably change his mind once
he gets shouted at by a producer or an assistant director. Heck, I’m nervous even
now that he might quit. We’re lacking manpower here, you know?”

“You must be having a hard time, but what can you do? You got promoted to a
position with more responsibilities, so you should accept the risks associated with
it.”

“I like how I got a pay raise, but I don’t know if I’m really benefitting or not because
the stress was increased as well.”

Byungchan twitched his nose and smiled.

“But I’m glad to see you and Sooil doing well. These days, I barely scrape by seeing
you two.”

“I’ll do my best so that you can earn a lot of incentives. If I do even better, I’ll buy you
a car.”

“Thanks for your words. But you know, I have a good memory when it comes to
things like that.”

“Sure. If I do become successful, you should look into what car you want to buy. I’ll
make sure you sign the deal.”

They arrived near the shooting location. Maru told him to stop the car.

“Today, Sooil has a shoot in the countryside, so I don’t think I can pick you up
afterwards.”

“Alright. Take care. Watch out at night.”

“Yeah, you too. Also, I’ll deliver the medicine to your house. I was originally planning
to call you and have you carry it back to your house before departing, but I
completely forgot about it.”

“I’ll call my sister about it.”

Maru closed the car door. Today was Saturday morning. He couldn’t make any time
no matter how much he adjusted his schedule, so he took the day off school. He
judged that his work was more important than his studies, so he had no hesitation.
His attendance record also wouldn’t have a gap if the agency sent an official
document to the school.

The streets were still calm. Things would only start to heat up with music and street
performances after sunset. He walked down the streets that didn’t have a distinction
between pavement and the road before entering the alleyway that led to the
shooting location. The commercial street gave him a different sensation during the
day than at night. The worn-out and rusty buildings added to the deserted feeling of
the street. The streets looked spooky at night and had traces of humans, but with
everything revealed under the sunlight, the street looked more like a shantytown.
Maru wouldn’t find it strange even if a bulldozer razed everything down tomorrow.

People were gathered a vague distance away from both the residential area and the
old commercial buildings. They were at the orange pojang-macha that had flapped
its wings under the sun.

“You’re here.”

Producer Jayeon waved at him.

“I saw that the streets looked haunted during the day.”

“That’s why I like it even more. If I get the camera to shoot it from this angle, it gives
off the feeling that it’s the endpoint of life.”

Maru looked at the buildings that looked like they were about to collapse from
where Jayeon was standing. He could understand what she meant by ‘end point’. The
buildings that had their steel beams exposed looked like the mound of a grave made
from concrete.

“Maru, I heard you collapsed?” Ganghwan said after suddenly appearing behind him
and putting his arm around Maru’s shoulders.

“Is someone going around spreading the word? I’m pretty sure I’m not that famous.”

“I was drinking with the president and you came up. Hey, kid, you can’t afford to run
out of stamina so early on. Even I don’t have a history of collapsing and I’m reaching
my mid-thirties.”

“Looks like I collapsed in your stead so that you don’t.”

“That sounds commendable. Did you get the tonic?”

“Yes, I got it through Byungchan-hyung.”

“I told the president to give you some. Be grateful.”

“Who paid for it?”

“Of course, big brother president did. I’m in no position to buy other people tonics.
I’m already low on money because I used up all my savings to visit Russia.”

“But you should be able to save up again quickly, can’t you?”

“Hey, it’s people like Geunsoo who can save up quickly. No wait, maybe it’s Miss
Suyeon.”

“You still call her Miss Suyeon? You dropped the polite speech with her, didn’t you?”

“For some reason, I wanted to call her with an honorific. You know how I feel right?”

“Haha, I do. I really do.”

“But there really isn’t anything wrong with you, right?”

“If there was, I would have gotten the doctor to diagnose it and then give the
company the diagnosis, so they pay for the medical fees. Unfortunately, I’m so
healthy that I can’t even get vitamins.”

“Yeah, yeah. I thought it shouldn’t be anything much when I heard you collapsed.”

“Why?”

“Because people who have less humane beauty live the longest.”

Ganghwan walked over to the pojang-macha after slapping him on the shoulders.
Maru laughed in vain before he took out his script.

“Seonbae.”

He raised his head when he saw the shadow cover his script. He saw Yuna smiling.

“You’re here early.”

“The traffic was good.”

“Same for me. I came here in my mom’s car, and we didn’t get caught at a traffic light
even once. It was so congested at night too.”

Yuna brought a chair and sat next to him. Maru quietly stared at her.

“Seonbae, what is it?”

“Yuna.”

“Yes?”

“We’ll be great friends, right?”

“Friends? We’re friends right now.”

“Yes, just like now.”

Yuna faintly smiled as she blinked. Maru took his eyes off her and looked at his
script.
Yuna grabbed the end of the page with her fingertips and repeated her line as she
flipped back and forth. She practiced several times, but she couldn’t get the line to
stick.

“I like things the way they are, I just like things the way they are.”

She slightly modified the lines as she repeated them. Although the priority was to
digest the lines on the script perfectly, she could edit them slightly if she felt her
tongue not being able to cope with them. She couldn’t change the lines outright, but
she could change the minor details. Producer Jayeon said that the writer might have
written words that aren’t actually spoken even while consciously trying to write
speech in written form.

“We’re going to the next scene. Please move the camera.”

The staff in front of the pojang-macha started moving. Yuna also grabbed the script
in her hands and stood up. It was her turn now. Although she had become used to it,
she still found it hard to breathe within the shooting set for some reason. She
wondered when she would feel comfortable. After opening her mouth to take a deep
breath in, she spat it out all at once, intending to bring out more energy. Her bangs
waved when she breathed out. After touching up her hair, she walked over to the
assistant director. Maru was standing next to him.

“I’ll do the rehearsal. Go adjust the schedule for the background actors,” Jayeon came
over and said.

The assistant director turned on his phone and stepped aside.

“It feels quite different to shoot when the sun is still up, doesn’t it?”

“Yes. It feels completely different from shooting at night,” Yuna said as she looked
around her.

Whether it was the busy staff, the people that came to watch, the cables strewn
across the floor, or the heat from the lights, there was nothing different from night
shoots, but she strangely found the set to be filled with vitality.

“This is why people need to work during the day and sleep at night. Everyone looks
so much healthier when they work during the day. At night, they all act like zombies.”

Jayeon clapped and gestured for her to come. Yuna glanced at Maru before standing
in front of Jayeon.

“We’re going to shoot you two running after turning that corner.”

Yuna nodded. This was a scene that was in the script as well. This was the scene
where Park Haejoon and Yoon Jihae ran towards the pojang-macha, which was like
their secret little hideout, after they got a lot closer. Having arrived at the pojang-
macha first, Jihae would tease Haejoon for it, and Haejoon would buy her udon
because he lost the race.

She grinned for a while after reading that part of the script. This sweet scene was
when the confession happened. They check their own feelings and tell each other
they like the other at the same time. She became a little heated. It was like there was
a sweet scent in the air. Although this was a shoot and the confession was a part of
the drama, she liked the feeling of being able to whisper love with Maru-seonbae.

“Yuna, did something good happen today?”

“Eh? N-no, not really.”

She straightened up her expression quickly, afraid that Jayeon might find out what
she was thinking. She could feel the things that made her heart race sinking down
below her consciousness. I must not show it in the shoot, especially in front of
seonbae - work and personal lives had to be separate.

“If anything good happened to you, don’t just keep it to yourself and tell me about it.
I’m busy editing these days, so I have no fun in life.”

After sighing, producer Jayeon walked to the end of the alleyway. The producer, who
was hidden behind the corner, shouted at them to watch closely before running out.
She ran past Yuna and arrived at the pojang-macha. Seeing her tap down on the
stainless steel table, Yuna applauded. Producer Jayeon was fast enough for her to
believe that she was a sprinter, and her running posture was really pretty.
“That’s how you run. You see those rails?”

“Yes.”

“The camera will follow and shoot you from the side. Yuna will be in front of the
camera, while Maru will run behind you. I mean, Yuna has better looks than Maru
does, right?”

Maru chuckled, saying that he was going to consider getting plastic surgery. Yuna
waved her hand in the air and said that he looked okay.

“So I’m just okay, huh. Not cool or anything.”

“That’s…”

Maru, whose right eye was twitching as he said those words, soon loosened up his
expression, saying that it was a joke. Yuna smiled and tried to grab his arm, but Maru
pulled away right at the end, so she swiped empty air. Feeling embarrassed, Yuna
retracted her arm as though nothing had happened.

“I’ll say this beforehand, but I scheduled the shoot early in the morning on purpose
for this scene. You two are going to have to run to your deaths today.”

Jayeon made a suspicious smile. After the rails were installed, the camera was placed
on them. One staff member repeatedly slid the camera across the rail to shoot.

“We’re ready.”

The assistant director’s signal came. Jayeon pushed her on the back, telling her good
luck. Yuna re-tied her shoelaces tightly before turning the corner and standing in
front of the wall. She put her wireless microphone on and got ready to run.

“Yuna will run out first, and then Maru after that. Watch out not to fall down, but
don’t run too slowly.”

The assistant director said into the walkie-talkie that they were ready. Yuna turned
her head around to see Maru.

“Are you confident at running?” Maru asked.

Yuna did not respond. Instead, she decided to show him. She liked using her body to
the point that she would jump around in excitement on days when there were
physical tests during gym class. She also had confidence in her running skills.

“Get ready.”

The assistant director pointed three fingers up. Seeing the fingers fold one by one,
she stepped out quickly at the last one. She ran with the intention of leaving seonbae
behind in the dust. The camera that slid across the rails entered her eyes. She ran
like she was sprinting and touched down on the pojang-macha’s table. While it was a
short distance, her breathing was haggard because she held her breath while
running.

“You’re quite good.”

Yuna looked at Maru as she calmed down her breathing.

“Seonbae, you’re a good runner.”

“I’m pretty good when it comes to using my body.”

“I was planning to run really fast and surprise you, but I guess I failed.”

After pushing out the hot breath at the tip of her tongue, she stood upright. She
dashed with the intention of finishing this shoot on the first take. As she ran with all
her might, she expected the outcome to be pretty good.

“Let’s do that once again.”

Jayeon asked for a re-shoot without giving any feedback. Yuna thought that it was
plausible and returned to her original spot.

“We might have to keep running like the director said, so control your stamina.”

“Yes.”

Yuna exercised her ankles. Maybe she didn’t like how she swung her arms, or maybe
her expression was strange. She started imagining a scene where she and Maru
would run playfully. A smile crept onto her face, and her body felt light. She felt that
she should be able to get a good reaction if she dissolved that ticklish feeling into her
act.

No! - Yuna pinched her waist. She vowed not to harbor personal feelings while
working. No, it wasn’t just while working. As long as Maru-seonbae and Gaeul-
seonbae were dating, she could not think about bad things. She kept imagining that
dream-like scene that made her keep smiling, but it would be rude to the two
seonbaes if she showed them that. Yuna did not want to become a bad girl that
wanted to steal another’s love. Yes, she had to hide it for now.

She ran with all her might like she was running on the school track. When she
arrived at the pojang-macha and straightened her waist, she heard the cut sound.

“Okay.”

Was it enough with just two shoots? While she was running out of breath, her skin
was still soft and smooth without any sweat. She was slightly worried when Jayeon
told her that they were going to run to their deaths, but from how the okay sign fell
after just two runs, she seemed to have said it as a joke.

“Put away the rails!” Jayeon shouted.

Yuna touched her hair that drooped down in front of her and was about to prepare
for the next scene.

“There’s no need to redo the setting. You’re going to run again. We just need to fix
your makeup.”

“That wasn’t it?”

“We’re just starting.”

The shooting car, which had been waiting on one side, started to move. The car with
the camera in the back stopped on the road she just ran on. Jayeon got on it.

“Actors! In your positions!”

Yuna breathed out faintly and returned to the corner.

“We got a side view last time, right? We’re going to get a front view this time. The
side view doesn’t show a lot of the facial expression, but it’ll all be revealed when
shot from the front, so you’re going to have to watch out,” said the assistant director.

“Also, you’re probably going to have to run quite a lot until we get a good cut since
the director pulled the shooting schedule early saying that she wanted to put a lot of
effort into the running scene. If you take it lightly because of the short distance,
you’re going to have a hard time. Run with the intention to end it as soon as possible.
It might feel easy at first because you’re full of energy, but it’ll affect your expression
later if you start losing stamina.”

Yuna twisted her body as she listened to the assistant director’s words. She didn’t
know that she was going to be shot from the front. Her hair would all go disheveled,
and her expression would look weird. Yuna imagined how strange her expression
would look.

“Get yourself together, and get ready to run,” Maru said, standing next to her.

Yuna pressed down on her disheveled hair slightly. Although it would soon become
disheveled again, she wanted to look pretty even if it was for the first moment she
appeared on the camera.

“Get ready! Three, two, one, cue!”

Jayeon’s voice could be heard. Yuna turned around the corner with a smile on her
face. She saw the shooting car in front of her. Yuna ran with the intention of catching
up to that car. Only after dashing about 50 meters in this commercial district was she
able to come to a stop. This was her third sprint already. She was sweating down her
back.

“One more time. Don’t look downwards unless you want to show the audience your
head.”

“Yes.”

Having returned to their original position, Yuna drank a sip of water. She started to
feel that she might actually not have enough energy.

“Are you okay, seonbae?”

“I’m doing okay. How about you?”

“I’m okay too.”

“It’s good to focus on the running and all, but be conscious of the fact that you need
to act while running.”

“Yes.”

The shoot continued. Four times, five times, six times. After shouting cut cheerfully
for some time, Jayeon started looking at the screen with suspicious eyes after a
while.

“Let’s take a break. We still have an hour of leeway.”

Yuna sat down on the spot upon hearing the word’ break’. She didn’t have the energy
to walk towards the chair which was only a small distance away from her. The total
distance she moved was about 600 meters. Even though the weather was pretty
chilly, she was all sweaty. It was unexpectedly quite hard to run while smiling. She
had to be conscious of the camera, of the distance between her and the shooting car,
and she also couldn’t forget about interacting with Maru, who was following from
the back. If running was all she did, she wouldn’t be this tired.

“An actress can’t sit on the floor like that. Here.”

“Thank you.”

She sat down on the chair that Maru brought her. Her knees trembled.

“You’re hardworking.”

“Eh? Ah, yes. I have to be.”

“But Yuna, working hard and working well are definitely different.”

Yuna sealed her lips and looked at Maru. While his voice was soft, he was scolding
her. She wiped the sweat on her neck with the back of her hand and faintly smiled.

“I will do well.”

“How?”
“Eh?”

“I was wondering how you are going to do well.”

“That’s…”

She was at a loss for words. She couldn’t think of anything to tell him when he asked
for a concrete plan. Yuna was about to smile awkwardly but decided not to. From the
way things looked, this wasn’t the time to be smiling.

“You remember what the director said about how you should be conscious of what’s
beyond the camera? I understand that it’s hard to act while running. Heck, I can’t do
it that well either. But when she doesn’t give you any directions between each cut, it
means that her directions haven’t changed. The director chose you for a reason. You
must prove to her that her eyes weren’t wrong when choosing you.”

Yuna slowly nodded. Today, seonbae’s presence had changed quite a lot. It was quite
a peculiar feeling to feel someone she knew feel unfamiliar to her. He wasn’t waiting
for her and being generous to her; he was telling her to see the problem with her
eyes and solve it. While it was a reasonable reprimand, Yuna felt rather sad.

As she was thinking that, Yuna saw that Maru was quietly looking into her eyes. His
deep eyes seemed to penetrate through her surface and read her mind. Maru took
his eyes off her and sighed faintly.

“Give me your hand.”

Yuna put her hand out obediently. Maru grabbed her hand gently.

“You aren’t running forward by yourself. This feeling, the feeling of running together.
We might be apart, but you still have to feel like you are leading me while grabbing
my hand. The reason you’re looking back from time to time is not because you are
trying to discern if you’re going to win or lose; it is to see if the one following you is
still following closely. The reason you want to arrive first is not because you want to
prove your superiority in physique. It must be to portray it as an advantage; as
something to boast about to the person running behind you.”

Seonbae let go of her hand. The words were engraved into her ears. The details of
the feelings she had forgotten about momentarily because she was running seemed
to all come back to her.
“I think I know what to do. I really do.”

“Actors can only be true to their emotions. Lying will become obvious soon.”

“What?”

“Use what you can for now. You should at least finish work.”

Maru cut out all the details, but Yuna soon realized what Maru was talking about.

“Seonbae.”

“Get ready.”

There were things she wanted to ask him, but she nodded for now.
“Good, cut! That was a good run.”

Seventeen times. Only after she ran the distance of 50 meters seventeen times
repeatedly did the cut finally end. She found it hard to even sit down and calm her
breathing. She wanted to lie down.

“Good job.”

Maru handed her a bottle of water. She was going to say ‘you too’ back to him, but
she couldn’t say it because someone from the staff approached her and covered her
shoulders with a blanket.

“It’s pretty chilly today, so you have to watch out for your body temperature.”

“Yes, unni,” she said to the staff member with a smile.

At first, she found it awkward that someone was looking after her even though she
didn’t ask for it, but she became used to it after experiencing it a couple of times.

“Kim Yuna, Han Maru.”

Producer Jayeon called out to them. Yuna stood in front of the monitor. The footage
they shot just now came up on the screen. The way she smiled brightly while
running didn’t look awkward at all. When she saw how she glanced back from time
to time to look at Maru, she even felt a little proud.

“Both of you, remember this feeling and take it to the next act. If we want to show the
change in the cold and indifferent Yoon Jihae and the rather insensitive Park Haejoon
in a short time, we must not miss trivial details like this. I’m going to have to dissolve
two couples and one man’s worth of story in four episodes, so we don’t have that
much leeway, understand?”

“Yes.”

“Cool off and fix your makeup. We’re going to continue right away. We actually have a
lot of time left because it ended earlier than I expected, but we can’t have you putting
down those emotions.”

Yuna left her face up to the makeup director[1]. She closed her eyes and when she
opened them again, she saw that Maru was sitting next to her. The way he was
reading his script while getting his makeup touched up made him look like a
stereotypical pro. She thought about doing it herself and opened the script she
placed next to her and lowered her gaze.

“Yuna, raise your head a little.”

She quickly said yes and took her eyes off the script. She tried to read the script, but
she couldn’t stay still due to the makeup director. Can you open your eyes? Turn your
head a little? Smile a little? She finished getting her makeup done after changing the
position of her head as well as her expression according to the makeup director’s
words.

“You go take care of that side. I’ll take care of this place.”

The person putting makeup on Maru grabbed their makeup tools and walked over to
where the background actors were upon hearing the words of the makeup director.
Yuna looked at Maru, who had been getting his makeup done while reading his script
quietly for a while. He still had his eyes fixed on the script and muttered his lines
from time to time. The makeup director took out some concealer. It seemed that she
was going to cover up the blemishes on Maru’s chin.

Yuna thought that the makeup director would tell him to raise his head. After
squeezing out the concealer from the tube onto her pinky, the makeup director
kneeled down. She lowered her eye level and applied the concealer on his chin and
cheeks before telling Maru that it was done.

“Thank you for your work.”

“I think we should leave the skin tone like this.”

“Yes, it’s not too catchy. I like it. Should we leave his hair like this?”

“It’s fine unless the director has something to say. It would instead be strange if it
was too near after he supposedly ran with all his might in the scene right before. The
character he’s playing doesn’t use any wax, so it’s fine to leave it slightly disheveled
like that.”

“Okay.”

The two college students standing behind the makeup director tied the makeup
tools. Yuna heard that they were here to gain experience. Yuna looked at the makeup
director who explained her ways to the students behind her. Both Maru and herself
were reading the script, so why was it that she didn’t say anything to seonbae? She
met eyes with the makeup director, who was talking with a student. Yuna quickly
lowered her head.

“You look like you’re dissatisfied.”

The makeup director approached her. Yuna quickly explained that it wasn’t like that.

“Then why were you looking at me like that? I’m a shy person, so I wouldn’t be able
to get any sleep at night if someone looked at me like that.”

Yuna hesitated before starting to explain the reason,

“I was reading my script, yet you told me to lift my head, right?”

Hearing that, the makeup director seemed to have understood and nodded.

“So you felt it was unjust because I told you to move while I let Maru be?”

“No! It’s not like that. I was just curious about what was different between me and
him.”

“I have one job. It is to put on makeup so that the actor’s charm is maximized. When I
ask you to move your head, it is a justified request, right?”

“Yes.”

“This ahjumma, you know, I judge a person’s style after looking at them. There are
people who will move if I tell them to, and there are people who won’t. It would be
much easier to put makeup on someone who obediently follows my instructions,
right?”

“Then did you think that seonbae won’t listen to your…”

“That’s not it.”

The makeup director interjected and looked at Maru, who was sitting a good
distance away.

“Just like how my job is to put makeup on people, an actor’s job is to act. While I’m
doing makeup work, if we consider the importance, of course I believe that acting
practice takes priority. There are many people who can put on makeup, but there’s
only one actor who can do the act. That’s why I tend to respect actors when they are
focusing. If it’s something I can do by just taking a step further, then I will gladly do
that. That’s the attitude of a person who gets paid to put on makeup. It’s also the
proper way to treat a pro.”

The proper way to treat a pro. Yuna closed her lips when she heard those words. She
immediately understood what that meant.

“If I have to go through an overhaul, I would of course tell him to put his script down
and lift his head, but if it’s just this much, I should not interrupt him if possible. Tell
me if you don’t like my ways. I’ll fix it.”

“No, I’ll do better from now on.”

“Yes, you can also do that.”

She couldn’t retort at all.

Yuna faintly sighed before sitting next to Maru.

“Seonbae.”

“Yeah?” Maru replied without taking his eyes off the script.

Yuna found him slightly hateful for not budging.

“How can I become a pro?”

“You’re a pro even now. You’re getting money from someone else’s pocket. That
should be enough to be called a pro.”

“But there are differences.”

“Differences?”

“I want to act like you, seonbae. You know you’re the reason I started taking interest
in acting, right?”

“You told me about it last time.”

“How can you act like that, seonbae? If it was the others, they’ve practiced more than
me and are older than me, so I can understand, but…”

“I’m actually much older than I look.”

Maru glanced at her before looking at his script again. Yuna felt the corner of her lips
twitching. It was because she heard from the makeup director that she wasn’t like a
pro, but more than that, the words she heard from Maru during the running scene
became vivid again and made her tremble.

“Seonbae, are you uncomfortable with me?”

Use what you can - Maru told her these words just an hour ago. The moment she
heard those words, Yuna understood the implied meaning behind them. Adding his
actions of putting distance between them since morning, there was nothing more to
think about. Maru probably wanted to tell her to get rid of unnecessary emotions.

“It’s not that.”

“You told me, didn’t you? That people’s emotions don’t go away so easily and that
you understand me. You also told me that I can treat you comfortably until I calm
down my emotions.”

Maru closed his script. The ice-clear eyes looked at her. Yuna swallowed a groan. He
had the same eyes as her mother two years ago on the anniversary of her father’s
death. Back then, her mother hugged her and Bitna and said this: Mom will definitely
protect both of you.

“Yuna, you can insult me for being inconsistent. The words I said that day was a
mistake on my part. It’s not that I didn’t mean it. I just changed my mind.”

“Then…”
“I’ll say this clearly. It still doesn’t matter whether you like me or not. I will not mind
it in the future either. If you gain anything by harboring those emotions; if you can
sublimate those emotions into something related to acting, it would be okay, but if
you can’t, I can tell you that you’d be better off if you put an end to those emotions as
soon as possible.”

“I know, I know it too. I know that I can’t like you. But you know what? When you
acted like nothing was wrong when you told me that you couldn’t contact Gaeul-
unni, I ended up misunderstanding. I thought that I may have a chance.”

“It’s my fault.”

It was a clean apology. It felt like the counter employee quickly apologizing for a
payment mistake. It sounded so detached. She felt dazed. For a brief moment, she
even thought that she was hated. Perhaps he found her annoying for being so
persistent.

The relationship between her and seonbae going wrong? She didn’t even want to
imagine it. Leaving aside not liking her, she didn’t want to be hated. Yuna shook her
head.

“No, I put that in a strange way.”

When she glanced at Maru’s face, she saw that it was frighteningly indifferent. She
even got the feeling that talking to a wall might be a better idea. Did something
happen to him over the past few days? It felt like someone completely different had
taken the form of Han Maru and was standing in front of her.

At that moment, Maru lowered his frighteningly frosty gaze before lifting his gaze up
again. A kind set of eyes had replaced it. It was the eyes of the seonbae who lent an
ear and a shoulder to cry on to a person he met for the first time.

“Sorry for being so indecisive. Sorry for not acting like an adult. Sorry for not being
clear to you.”

“Stop apologizing to me. You did nothing wrong.”

Yuna lowered her head with her fists clenched. It was the first time. Maru
understood and accepted the worries that she couldn’t even tell her mother about.
She was touched by his words that soothed her wounds, and she gained the courage
to face acting head on. The reason she got selected in this drama and could act in it
was all thanks to Maru as well. Her mentor and her first love kept apologizing to her.
Yuna felt a big sense of fear. She was afraid that they would separate for good just
like this and that everything might come to an end between them. She felt like she
wouldn’t be able to hold back her tears if they became like friends who said hi to
each other but no more.

The reason she held back from crying loudly and clinging to him was because of the
word ‘pro’ that the makeup director mentioned. She couldn’t inconvenience
everyone here. She didn’t want to make the foolish mistake of ruining everything
because she was swayed by her personal emotions. She was determined to smile and
say that she was okay, but her lips twitched endlessly and she couldn’t do as she
wanted to. Stop beating so hard heart - Yuna clenched her eyes shut.

She quietly breathed out. She had to show that she was okay.

“Uhm, seonbae.”

When she opened her eyes, Maru was no longer in front of her. She found Maru
looking at her from some distance away. Yuna blinked. She understood everything.
This distance, this physical distance seemed to be representing the distance between
their hearts.

She suddenly laughed. It was too easy. Even though she felt heart-shatteringly
painful, even though she felt so agonized that her head was about to burst, she could
control her emotions. Maru, who was watching her, gave her a nod before turning
around without regrets.

Haa - Yuna sighed out. A tingling sensation climbed up from her toes. The moment
the brain-shaking tremors died down, Yuna felt that her first love had come to a
complete close.

“Seonbae, I’ll be off to the bathroom for a bit,” she said, her eyes clear.

Maru quietly took out some tissues for her. Yuna pouted but still accepted them. Her
footsteps towards the bathroom became faster and faster. By the time she reached
the building with the bathroom in it, she was almost running - Ah, today’s a day filled
with running. Yuna abruptly opened the door and slammed it shut. She turned on the
tap to full power and sat on the toilet after putting the cover down. Then she cried.
She thought while crying: what do I tell the makeup director?

“This is what being a pro is about, huh?”

Goddammit - she cried again after seeing the makeup on the tissue. A moment later,
she laughed. She repeatedly switched between laughing and crying several times
before standing in front of the mirror. Although her face didn’t look terrible because
the makeup was thin, there were definitely places that had to be fixed up.

“Let’s do this, Kim Yuna. Tell’em who’s boss.”

She calmed down her expression before returning to the shooting location. It
seemed that they were almost ready to shoot as some of the staff started restricting
people from coming inside.

“You’re here?” Maru said.

“Yes, I’m here.”

Yuna replied firmly, to the point that it even surprised her. Her heart felt heavy, yet
refreshed.

“Can you do it?”

“Of course.”

“Then please take care of me from now on.”

Maru reached his hand out. Yuna stared at that hand for a while before making a
scissor shape with her fingers.

Scissor and paper; after looking at the two hands for a while, Maru smiled and
retracted his hand.

“Please take care of me, seonbae.”

Yuna said as she pulled her hand away.

[1] Here, the ‘director’ doesn’t mean that she’s related to the filming. She’s the
director (or ‘headmistress’ in British English) of a makeup school that she runs.
Wednesday, 23rd of November, 2005. Maru left his house while listening to the
goodbye of the news presenter. The bag that would usually contain his script was
filled with chocolates and yeot[1]. In his hands were insulated water bottles that
contained warm barley tea.

“Yeah, I’m on my way there.”

He got on the bus as he picked up the call he got from a junior. Although it was the
same morning bus, the composition of the people inside was a little different today.
There was a student muttering something while looking at the notes in his hands, a
girl clasping her hands as though she was praying, as well as a student who was
reading a textbook without holding the handle on the ceiling. The bus filled with
students proceeded very slowly as though the driver had no intention of stepping on
the brakes. The road leading to Suwon station, which would usually be crowded with
cars during rush hour, was empty like the red light district during early dawn on a
Tuesday.

Maru pressed the bell. The beep made some of the students flinch and look outside
the window. On the day of the CSAT[2], all students would become meerkats. They
left the bus and walked towards their designated school. The weather was so cold
that wearing a thick jacket wasn’t enough. He could hear the news presenter’s
comment: today will be the coldest day of the year yet.

“Seonbae.”

Aram waved her hand. There wasn’t a flashy blow-up balloon in front of the newly
opened restaurant. A parent, who was rolling a Buddhist rosary in her hands, looked
at them for a moment before starting to pray again.

“Today’s really cold.”

“It’s the cold wave.”

Maru looked at a desk in front of the school gates. This was a desk that was used in
the acting club. Behind was a flagpole that they used during a play, and on it, was a
flag that when opened read ‘Park Daemyung, Kang Dowook, Pass and get into Seoul
University.’ Around that line were small lines of encouragement. This was the work
of the juniors at the acting club.

“Seonbae, you’re here.”

Jiyoon appeared with her nose bright red.

“You’re really devoted.”

Maru poured some of the barley tea for Jiyoon and Aram. Only after grabbing the
warm paper cup in her hands did Jiyoon look better.

“Where’s Bangjoo?”

“The convenience store. He went to buy some food.”

“You guys didn’t eat anything?”

“Yes. Somehow, things turned out like that,” Aram said as she tapped on her stomach.

Maru put his bag down on the desk. On the other side of the gates were students
wearing uniforms of another school, holding a basket. It seemed like they were also
juniors who had come to cheer for their seniors.

“Why aren’t you taking CSATs, seonbae?”

“Because I don’t have to.”

“But Dowook-seonbae is taking it.”

“For him, you won’t know what will happen in the future. Even if he succeeds his
family business, it’ll be better if he could go to a good college if possible.”

Maru wiped under his nose. He felt like the weather had gotten colder even though
the sun went up.

“Gah, it’s so cold!”

Bangjoo appeared with a plastic bag in hand. Maru waved at him.

“Ah, right. I forgot yours, seonbae.”

“I’m fine. You guys can eat. I had breakfast.”

“We can’t do that. Have half of mine.”

Bangjoo split the hoppang[3] in half and gave half to him. When Maru thanked him
for it, he found Aram and Jiyoon each giving him a half as well. Maru smiled and told
them to eat.

Bangjoo sat down next to him.

“You don’t come to school after CSATs, right?”

“It’ll be a month of employment experience[4], so no.”

“Can’t you come?”

“What kind of terrible thing are you talking about?”

“Come to school and practice with us.”

“Why don’t you let us go already?”

Maru looked at his watch. It was just past 7:30. It was around this time that cars and
taxis started flocking in front of the school. Students who got off with their parents
held each other’s hands until the front of the school before going inside.

“Good luck Irim High! Seonbae-nim, good luck on the tests and get great scores!”

The students outside started cheering loudly. The 3 years, no, 12 years of
education[5] will be evaluated on this single day. It was the peak of unreasonability,
but there was no way to go against the sturdy system. Maru looked at the backs of all
the students that went inside and prayed that they gained just as much as they had
prepared. Not more, not less.

“Hey, tuna.”

Maru called out to a classmate of his that appeared in front of the school. This boy
came alone and had a vague smile on his face. He took out some of the chocolate and
yeot from his bag and gave it to him.

“Good luck.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

Maru prayed again. He hoped that the god that gave him the big middle finger was
kind to the people around him. He hoped that that boy got more than he prepared
for the exam. Arms could only bend inwards, and it was the greed of humans to wish
for those closest to them to do better than complete strangers. He handed out yeot,
chocolate, and warm tea to everyone he knew.

“Seonbae-nim! Good luck!”

Bangjoo’s cheering was a freebie. He had a voice equivalent to ten people outside.
Maru’s friends, who were encouraged by a junior they’d never seen before, seemed
rather taken aback, but they all waved their hands above their head with smiles as
though they found it a relief that someone was cheering for them.

“Do you think that helped?” Bangjoo asked.

“More than enough,” Maru replied.

It was 7:48, and the cheers and prayers became even louder. Just then, an
unexpected person showed up.

“Why are you here, oppa?”

Bada appeared wearing a yellowish-brown scarf. The juniors sitting next to him all
fell silent at the same time. Maru rested his chin on his hands and spoke,

“Why do you think I’m here?”

His sister had armed herself from top to bottom with fashionable clothing and
makeup. It was to the point that Maru would have a hard time recognizing her if he
came across her in a crowded place. Bada did not hold back her awkwardness. Maru
saw a sense of embarrassment hiding behind her expression. He looked at the paper
bag in her hands. Inside was a scarf and a hand-written letter. Of course, both
yellowish-brown.
“Don’t look.”

“Unfortunately, I don’t have the talent to unsee what I’ve seen.”

Bada’s lips twitched and she rolled her eyes at him before exclaiming out in surprise.
She probably read the big banner of encouragement.

“Dowook will be here in a little bit so wait.”

Bada nodded obediently. Maru went over to his juniors and told them that she was
his sister. Bada approached the three of them with a gentle smile on her face.

“Hello there. I’m his sister.”

“Dowook’s gf, by the way,” Maru added.

He got hit on the back of his head as the price for that. He rubbed his aching head
and looked at Bada before turning to look at the juniors. Their faces were colored
with shock.

“What?”

“So there is a person who can hit you on the back of the head,” Aram said.

Jiyoon quickly nodded. Bangjoo looked at Bada in displeasure but turned his head
away when they met eyes.

“She is your sister alright. Her eyes are just…”

Maru smacked Bangjoo on the neck with a hand-knife gesture.

“It’s cold. Drink some of this.”

He gave her some barley tea. Bada accepted it without a fuss and drank it. During
that opportunity, he looked inside the paper bag once more. Next to the rolled up
scarf was a small insulated lunchbox.

“I was wondering what you were up to in the kitchen last night.”

“Mind your own business.”

“I’ve never got something like that even though we live under the same roof, yet
Dowook gets one, huh.”

He expected Bada to grumble, but unexpectedly, she just hesitated and didn’t say
anything. She seemed rather embarrassed. Maru had the urge to tease her more, but
he decided not to since his sister might use the insulated lunchbox as a weapon if she
lost her reason.

“Uhm.”

Bangjoo raised his finger. A blue 1t truck was approaching. It was the vehicle that
helped them out during the national acting competition. The truck stopped in front
of them. The first one to get off was Daemyung. Following him, Kang Soojin and Kang
Dowook both got off the truck.

“You’re having a hard time thanks to these two,” Maru said.

Soojin shook her head with a smile.

“Oh! It’s that unni I saw at the hospital. Am I right? Do you remember me?”

“Ah, you were Maru’s sister, right?”

“Yes.”

“It’s nice to see you here. Your name was Bada, was it? I’m not sure if I remember
properly. It was two years ago.”

“You’re right, I am Bada.”

Bada smiled as she looked at Soojin. During the winter of his first year, when he got
crushed under the burning set, Soojin came over to visit him in the hospital and
Bada happened to be there. Bada had a really good memory if she could remember a
brief meeting that happened 2 years ago.

After exchanging greetings with Soojin, Bada smiled at Dowook standing behind her.
Maru felt chills run down his spine the moment he saw that. That was beyond
hypocrisy. The epitome of acting lay here.

“But why are you here?”

“He’s my brother. But you two look like you know each other?”

Soojin pushed Dowook’s shoulders and brought him in front of her. Bada widened
her eyes in a fluster.

“Ah, uhm the thing is…”

Just as Bada was about to start talking in an alien tongue, Dowook, who stood in
front of her, grabbed her hand.

“She’s my girlfriend.”

Maru resented his hands for not taking out his phone quickly enough. The
expressions the three people made were masterpieces that he had to send down to
the later generations as an heirloom. Soojin became even more flustered than Bada.

Maru called out to Daemyung, who was dazing out next to them.

“And here’s the person who’s going to take care of you.”

Having discovered Jiyoon, Daemyung walked over stiffly. Even though they’d been
dating for more than a year now, the two still became shy in front of other people.
Maru looked at the two couples in front of him before turning his eyes to Aram and
Bangjoo.

“Why don’t you two start dating as well?”

“With Bangjoo? I’d rather live with a bear.”

“Seonbae-nim, you crossed the line there.”

The two juniors seemed triggered. Maru poured some barley tea and handed it out
to everyone.

“Alright, you can whisper your love when you feel down after taking the tests. I can’t
bear to keep watching.”

Dowook smirked and downed the barley tea in one gulp.

“I’m going to guess all the answers and then sleep[6].”

“Since you’re taking it anyway, you should solve them seriously. This is why people
from wealthy households are no good.”

Maru slapped Dowook’s back and wished him good luck. Dowook crossed the gates
after taking the bag that Bada handed him. Daemyung also stood in front of the gates
with the gifts that Jiyoon prepared for him.

“Now, you, though, need to do really well on the tests.”

“That puts a lot of pressure on me.”

“Don’t feel pressured by just that. CSATs are nothing compared to learning what
production is like. Just take it slow and think of it as stepping through a door. You
should do well so that you can take some money out of our president’s pockets.”

Daemyung smiled, saying ‘yes’. Maru massaged his shoulders.

“Good luck.”

“Yeah.”

The juniors, who were waiting at the back, waved the banners they wrote.

“Good luck!”

Dowook, who was waiting inside, took Daemyung and walked inside the building.
Maru stood in front of the gates and looked at the two.

“This is how a parent must feel, huh.”

“It’s not like you had any kids,” Bada said.

Maru faintly smiled.

“Oh, I guess you didn’t know, but I had a cute daughter.”

“What are you on about now?”

Bada waved at Dowook, who walked inside the building. Even Dowook, who was
awkward when it came to expressing his feelings, couldn’t ignore her, so he created a
heart with his arms above his head.

“What the.”

This time, he wasn’t late. On his phone screen was Dowook in that terrible posture,
but it was a smiling Dowook.

“Are you okay, oppa?” Bada asked suddenly.

“With what?”

“With not taking the tests.”

“I don’t need to.”

“You’re really okay, right?”

“I have my hands full as it is. I don’t have any time to take tests.”

“Well, if it’s like that, then I guess it’s good. I was slightly worried that you might be
depressed, but I guess I did that for nothing.”

“You just worry about yourself. There are only two years left.”

“I know that too, you know?”

After grumbling, Bada spoke in a small voice,

“But still, you worked hard.”

Maru turned around to look at Bada. She shrugged before walking over to Soojin.
There was a gentle smile on her face as though she was interacting with her mother-
in-law.

“Seonbae, let’s go get breakfast!” Bangjoo said while rubbing under his nose.

Maru faintly smiled and said, ‘let’s go.’

[1] Traditional Korean candy. Wikipedia for more details.

[2] Every year, the day of the CSAT (College Scholastic Ability Test: basically college
entrance exams) is considered a holiday, well, except for the examinees. People don’t
work, or the work hours start late; students don’t go to school on this day; and heck,
even planes don’t fly at certain hours. Also, this day becomes magically cold every
single time. It’s like a whole 5 degrees centigrade colder than the day before.
Examinees are assigned to go to a different high school, not their own schools to
prevent cheating, to take their tests. This is why the next line mentions ‘designated
high schools’.

Also, on this day, you’d see news like ‘a policeman took an examinee to their exam
venue’ and stuff like that. EVERYONE looks out for examinees on this day.

[3] White bun with hot bean paste inside. Wikipedia for more details

[4] Not entirely sure what this is, but since Woosung High is an engineering-focused
high school, it’s likely that there’s a school program where students can experience
what the field is like. It should be something similar to an internship.

[5] 6 years of elementary school + 3 years of middle school + 3 years of high school

[6] CSAT questions are multiple-choice questions because it makes it a lot easier, and
fairer to check the answers for more than 500 thousand people that took the tests
this (2005) year. That is why there’s mention of ‘guessing’.

There are also people who don’t take the exams seriously, even though it costs
money to participate (like Dowook here) because: 1. They do so in order to set a
lower average for others by getting a low score (the results are relatively graded).
People that do this usually do so because they already have a secure future, or have
guaranteed entrance into a college already; 2. There were various perks(?) that you
could get if you visited some businesses with your exam card after the tests. For
example, a gym or a swimming pool might have a discount for examinees; 3. They
just live without thinking (I’ve personally seen people like this). Though, for number
2, it’s my personal experience (I took the test in 2014), so I can’t say whether or not
the same things existed back in 2005.
“Don’t get nervous. If you get stuck, apparently, it’s better to move on to the next
question and come back to it later. Don’t mismark the answers when you finish the
questions. Don’t leave the marking until the end of each exam and remember to do it
from time to time.”

“Seonbae, you look more serious than we do.”

The colleagues of the acting club giggled in front of the school gates. It was 7:50. It
was about time to go inside.

Gaeul grabbed the hands of the graduates that came to cheer her on. It wasn’t just
the seniors that graduated last year. Those that graduated two years ago could be
seen in front of the school gates as well.

“Good luck with your exams. I’m sure you’ll do well.”

Gaeul nodded as she listened to last year’s club president’s words. Although the
weather was cold, her palms were sweaty. This exam would change her whole future.
She hoped and prayed that the friends that she had spent the last three years with do
well on the tests.

“Seonbae-nim, we’ll go in now.”

“CSATs are nothing, so don’t be too nervous. Honestly speaking, it’s easier than doing
a play. If you take the test with that mindset, I’m sure you’ll get the grades you want.”

Leaving behind the encouragement of the seniors, she walked inside. Even though
she only took a single step inwards, it felt like the air had changed. The stifling and
heavy air filled the school campus.

“I’m going to go drinking right after this.”

One of her friends, who had brought beer to the school field trip, fired herself up
saying that she was going to go to a bar right after the tests. The joke that came just
as she was about to feel nervous relaxed her tension.
“Yeah, let’s try going, whether we get caught or not.”

“Since we’re going, we should be celebrating.”

Gaeul calmed down her breathing and walked down the corridor. She was assigned
to a different classroom from her friends. Before she entered class 3, she had a hug
with the friends that went to class 2. Good luck; you too - they each wished other
luck, then she entered the classroom and sat down. The cold sensation of the
wooden chair pierced through her body. Her mind cleared up in an instant and it
finally felt real that she was taking the CSATs.

She calmed her breathing and took out her revision notes. The department of theater
at Chung-a university, which she was aiming for, decided their entrants by basing
50% on the CSATs and 50% on a practical exam in the A sector[1]. No matter how
high her practical exam results were, she would not be able to pass if her CSAT
results were bad. Considering that the department of theater did not accept any pre-
enroll students, it was likely that the CSAT results would decide everything. She
practiced acting at the agency while studying Korean, social studies, and English
during her free time[2]. As for math, she planned to just answer the questions she
could and forget about answering the difficult ones.

The scores of the students that enrolled last year were: 98 points for Korean, 67 for
math, 60 for social studies[3], and 73 for English. During her mock exams, she got
higher than the criteria scores for last year. As long as she did just as well as that, she
wouldn’t have a problem with the CSATs.

It was 8:10. The entry time for the examinees was up. Students wearing earbuds
started studying with their revision notes. There were 30 minutes until the start.
Feeling the tension in the air through her skin, she started studying when her phone
started vibrating. She had forgotten to turn it to silent. Gaeul quickly opened her
phone.

-I know you told me not to contact you, but forgive me since today’s an important
day. Good luck. I’m sure you’ll get in.

She stared at the screen for a whole minute in a daze. She could practically hear
Maru’s voice. She had to look at her revision notes beneath the phone, but she
couldn’t move her eyes away. She hesitated a little before putting her fingers on the
keypad.
-Is that what’s important right now? You can send a text any time. But to take that
test that will happen in 30 minutes, you’ll have to wait 1 whole year. You never know
what will happen to you in that year.

The rabbit had spoken. Gaeul settled her mind. She was about to turn it on silent, but
she instead turned it completely off.

Maru had given up on going to college. Although he was the one who said that they
should enroll at Chung-a university together, the situation had changed. He started
walking down the path of an actor properly. The field was calling him, so college was
nothing. Gaeul was surprised at Maru’s unstoppable progress. Even without a college
background, he would definitely be able to succeed as an actor.

She was still far from being a match for him. Gaeul looked at herself. She did not have
the courage to give up on college. Although she managed to smoothly sign a contract
with an agency, she had no work yet. It was natural. It was a reckless decision to use
an actual high school girl to play a high school girl in a field where people in their
mid-twenties or even their early thirties, played such roles.

Gaeul also tried to give up on enrolling in a college and tried to take various
auditions, but she changed her mind after hearing Gyeonmi’s advice. The
connections tied to the major college theater departments couldn’t be looked down
upon. As she wasn’t confident in her skills, Gaeul decided to look at the future.

She also dreamed of going to the same college as Maru, becoming a campus couple,
and enjoying college life while taking the same lectures as him, but that was already
out of reach. Maru had skipped college and stepped into society. Although Maru was
always ahead of her, he felt even more distant now.

-That’s why you need to work even harder. How long are you going to keep feeling
unconfident? You must pass the tests, hone your skills, and become acknowledged by
those around you. You can meet Maru at that time. You didn’t cut contact with Maru
with a half-assed mindset, did you? You have to do it when you have to. If you adhere
to a strong resolve, there is bound to be a reward for it.

The rabbit was entirely right. Gaeul decided to forget about immediate happiness for
the distant future. If she met Maru and spent time with him right now, she might feel
happy, but she would definitely regret it if she watched as the gap between them
widened. She did not want to feel the regret of not having been able to try harder.
Yes, this was for both of their sakes. Gaeul pushed her phone deep into the depths of
the desk drawer.

***

“Seonbae, we’ll be off now. You’re coming to school tomorrow, right?”

“Tomorrow, yeah.”

“Then see you tomorrow. Bada, you too!”

Aram and Bangjoo got on the bus. Maru took Bada, who was whining about the cold,
to the bus stop that was across the road.

“DNA is amazing. Soojin-unni and Dowook-oppa are both pretty and handsome.”

“That’s a pity. The Han family is kinda far off from beauty.”

“Of course not. It’s fine because I take after mom. It’s just you who has a scary look.”

“Father will feel disappointed to hear that.”

The bus arrived. The empty bus once again made him realize that today was the day
of the CSATs.

“Did you two fight?”

He heard that voice behind him. Maru turned his head around. Bada was talking to
him while looking outside the window.

“I said, did you two fight?”

Maru did not answer. He immediately realized what she was talking about, but he
did not know what to tell her. Did they fight? Or were they fine? Maru was unable to
find out the truth behind this small farewell.

“Did you do something wrong?”

“No.”
“Then did unni make a mistake?”

“No.”

“Then what is it? Isn’t Gaeul-unni taking her CSATs today?”

“She is. She’s probably staring at the test papers real intensely right now.”

Maru opened his phone again. It was 9:30, yet he hadn’t gotten a text yet. Did she not
read it? Or could she not read it? While he was wondering about the possibility of
‘could’ vs ‘did’, he folded his phone and his thoughts completely stopped.

“Should we order Jjajang-myeon for lunch?”

“Why are you talking about something else? What’s really going on? Is it serious?”

“I’m not sure.”

“You aren’t acting like yourself. What’s up with you? You don’t know the reason, and
you sound like you don’t want to know about it either.”

Maru faintly smiled. He knew the reason, and he going crazy because he was dying to
find out, but he wasn’t in a situation where he could approach the matter so
carelessly. His life, which had repeated for perhaps dozens, and maybe even
hundreds of times, had always gone past the point of ‘marriage with Gaeul’. The
result always ended in destruction. In order to several that ring of life that ended and
began anew every time he died, he had to do something about this situation that
even the masked man had no clue about.

Since this was the turning point of his life - well, several lives - he could not act
carelessly. When he thought about how meeting Gaeul and asking her why she put
some distance between them might trigger his life to return ‘back on track’, he
couldn’t decide so easily even if he wanted to ask her everything.

Perhaps this was the first time they walked their own separate paths in their
numerous lifetimes. If they kept walking down the path set in front of them, he
would have enrolled in Chung-a university and their relationship would deepen until
their eventual marriage. He might have arrived at a crossroads because he chose a
different option during the process of losing and regaining his memories or while his
personality underwent a change.
To sum up the current situation with the help of Occam’s razor, the conclusion was
that he wanted two things: One was to end these goddamned reincarnations, and the
other was to get connected to Gaeul.

He also thought about giving up on Gaeul. There was a huge urge within him since
there might be a different ending awaiting him if he turned his heart away from her
now that she was putting some distance from him. However, it was impossible to
give up. Despite the fact that he realized that he was trapped in this endless, horrific
cycle, his heart deeply longed for her. Whether it was due to the feeling of love that
stemmed from one lifetime’s love or deep emotions that resulted from an endless
number of lives, he did not know, but he felt like he wouldn’t be able to stop the
human Han Maru from being attracted to her as long as he was alive.

If she truly told him that she did not like him, he might be able to give up at that time.
A corner of his heart wanted such an end.

“Anyway, don’t break up half-assedly and resolve it properly. I like Gaeul-unni quite a
lot.”

“Yeah, alright.”

“Don’t just answer me. Well, I’m sure you’ll take care of it on your own.”

Maru looked outside as he uttered a slow breath. The pale streets looked especially
chilly today.

***

“How was it?”

“I think I did Korean well. How about you guys?”

“I found it hard.”

“Me too.”

Gaeul briefly talked to her friends before preparing for the next test. She had a good
feeling about Korean, the first subject. She did not get stuck reading any of the text,
and she solved the questions with confidence. She didn’t get stuck on any of the
questions, so she could probably look forward to a good score.
She felt nervous because she was studying alongside her acting practice, but Gaeul
was confident that she could make it. She was revising using her notes when she
remembered the phone that she handed in before the start of the test. Phones and
other electronic devices were collected for the purpose of preventing cheating.

Would he perhaps feel sad that she didn’t reply? Gaeul wrote down the name ‘Han
Maru’ in the corner of her notes. She felt really apologetic since it was her who told
him that she wanted to have some distance, and now, she didn’t even reply to his
encouraging text. It was likely that Maru felt disappointed.

-There you go, getting distracted again. I told you this is not the time for that. You can
meet a man anytime you want. But right now, you’re at the crossroad of your life.
Romantic relationships are good and all, but are they more important than your life?
Are you going to marry Maru? You’re not, are you? There’s no guarantee that he will
protect you for life. Of course, he might have told you that he wanted to get married
to you, but do you think he thought that for real? You should remember that Maru
loved to joke around with you.

The rabbit always popped out whenever she thought about Maru.

“Recently, I feel like you don’t like Maru that much.”

-Me?

“You don’t?”

The rabbit didn’t say anything. Gaeul waited for the rabbit to speak before shaking
her head. Just as the rabbit said, this wasn’t the time to be doing this. She had to
revise for one more minute to increase her math scores. Although she had half-given
up, it would be great if she got one extra point.

-He’s not the only man in this world. It’s just you who feels like he’s special because
it’s your first romantic relationship. With more experience, you should be able to
find out that there are many more men who are better than him out there.

“What do you know? Who are you really? I get that you’re giving me all this advice
for my sake, but why are you really doing this?”

-I’m not important. What’s important is you right now. You live your life. Don’t do
things that you might regret later.
“Yeah, I shouldn’t.”

Gaeul gripped her pen. Time was ticking. It would be no use to regret later. People
only lived once after all.

-Yes, now, there is only one life.

The rabbit quietly spoke.

[1] College applications are divided into two major methods. One is the ‘official
enroll’ (정시 Jeong-si), and the other is the ‘pre-enroll’ (수시 Soo-si), those who have
gained an entrance in the pre-enroll are not eligible to apply for the official enroll
(people who have passed are also those that flunk their tests on purpose). The
official enroll is further divided into three ‘sectors’, A, B and C. An applicant can apply
for two universities in each sector. The criteria that these universities put out on
each sector might be different. The general rule of thumb is to be ‘conservative’ on
the A and B sectors, and ‘just go for it’ in the C sector (the C sector tends to have a big
reserve list)

[2] CSAT is largely divided into five subjects: Korean (this includes literature, non-
literature and grammar), Mathematics, English (these are worth 100 points each),
and two ‘research’ subjects, worth 50 points each, for a combined total of 400 points.
The two ‘research’ subjects are social/humanities subjects if your high school major
is humanities, and science subjects if your high school major is sciences, and job
knowledge subject if you’re someone like Maru and is from an employment-focused
high school. From 2017 onwards though, Korean history became mandatory for both
majors, bringing the total to 450 points. After the five (six from 2017) major
subjects, they could then choose to take extra subjects for their specific enrollment
requirements like a 2nd foreign language/hanja.

[3] Combined scores for both social/humanities subjects.

“Seonbae, do you think I should have stretched my line a little more?”

“It was okay. The director didn’t say anything about it, so I think it should be okay.”

“But what did you think about it?”

“I think it would have been better if you paused a little. It suits your character more.”

Yuna nodded. Today was November 28th, and the mini-series drama shooting was
nearing its end. Without any additional shoots, the 30th would be the final day of the
shoot. From what she heard, everything up to episode three had been edited and was
ready to be aired.

“We’ll do that again after shooting from this angle.”

Maru looked at Jayeon, who stood alongside the camera director. Her hair, which
draped down beneath the beanie, had lost its vitality, and the duck-fur coat that she
had been wearing since the last shoot had been worn out to the point that it looked
better-suited to be in the trash. The closer December 4th, the day the first episode
aired, came, the more haggard the producer became.

“I wonder if the director is going to sleep in the editing room again today.”

“The producer’s stuff is already in the 3rd editing room. She’ll probably keep editing
until the day of the first episode. Park-noona from the editing room will die of
exhaustion.”

He overheard the assistant director and the staff talking.

“The director must have it hard.”

“This is the first drama under her name after all. She probably wants everything to
be perfect. Her personality also plays a role in that.”

Maru put his script down and walked over to the window. Today was the last scene
he shot with Yuna. The background actors filled the empty seats one by one. People
who were waiting while staring at their phones in school uniforms got into a proper
posture upon hearing the assistant director’s shout.

“Let’s finish it well. This is the last rehearsal with the two of you.”

Jayeon started the rehearsal. She told them the emotions, movements, and
expressions that she wanted. It had been two months since they started working
together. Maru could predict what style Jayeon wanted even without her saying
anything.

The first one to shoot was Yuna. She, who was sitting in a daze amidst the students
that were leaving class after school, quietly walked over to the window. Maru nodded
when he saw her fidget with the 2,000-won couple ring.

The positive effect of Yuna’s change of heart was that her thoughts became deep. She
still maintained her method of exploding out with her emotions, but she was
beginning to gain control over that. Ever since he regained his memories, Maru
planned on not accepting Yuna’s coquettish way of acting, but Yuna herself was
already trying to fix that. He couldn’t just ignore a girl who was trying, so Maru also
gave her advice from time to time. Of course, he never mentioned anything deep that
would touch on the depths of her acting. He only gave her small directions.

“Cut. That felt good.”

Yuna muttered her lines while the camera switched places. The camera director
stood where the window could be seen. After the director gave the signal, Yuna
started acting.

The student couple that was attracted to each other due to their unique charms,
would say their goodbyes today. Yoon Jihae, who loved Park Haejoon’s ordinariness,
believed that she too could become ordinary and would strive towards it, while Park
Haejoon, who liked her for her strong attitude, tried to become like her. They tried
their best because they liked each other but that same attitude made them end up
getting bored of each other.

After touching the couple ring, Yuna slowly took off the ring from her finger.

“Yuna, you’re on a roll today. Let’s get a shot of your hand and go straight to the next
one. Your condition is really good, so continue just like that.”
Jayeon rejoiced like a little child. It seemed that she felt happy because she got a
good picture and more time to edit.

They shot Yuna taking off the ring four times. As Yoon Jihae’s feelings had to be
transmitted through her fingers, Jayeon’s request was very picky. They only shot four
times since Yuna was good. Maru watched through the director’s monitor during the
shoot, and the shaking of her hand, which was neither too excessive nor too weak,
was worthy of praise.

“Yuna’s emotions are in a good state, so let’s get Maru’s shoulder in the scene.”

Maru stood in front of Yuna. She smiled faintly after redoing her top button.

“The director is complimenting you a lot.”

“I thought I’d get an earful throughout the whole shoot but there comes a day like
this.”

“Since you’re doing so well, you should do so until the end and send her home early.”

“I’ll try my best.”

Along with a clap, the standby sign fell. Maru quietly looked at Yuna. Although he
would say his lines, it was Yuna’s face that was on camera right now. His role was to
lead her act so that she did not get stuck midway or make a mistake.

“I’m very confident in expressing my loss.”

“There’s a bone in your words.”

“Yes, I’m telling you about it.”

“I feel like I’m the bad one, but I guess it doesn’t matter for today, huh.”

At the same time he said those words, the cue sign rang out in the classroom. Yuna
controlled her emotions perfectly to the point that Maru could not feel a trace of the
smile that was there just now. From the day he told her to quit chasing him, Yuna’s
acting skills became visibly better and a lot more stable. He was inwardly worried
that she might not be able to control her emotions, but thankfully, he was worried for
nothing. Perhaps he was thinking that she was a crybaby who could not hide her
emotions and needed his help for everything. Yuna was a child who could stand up
by herself.

“Here.”

Yuna handed him the ring. Maru made a bitter smile.

“What’s this?”

“You know what it is.”

“What is it?”

“I’m saying we should stop. Let’s… let’s be friends. I think that will be for the better.”

“Why so sudde… it’s not sudden, is it?”

“You know it too.”

Maru grabbed the ring. Park Haejoon hated himself for being ordinary. The cold and
proud Yoon Jihae, who appeared in front of him, was more than just a role model.
The feelings of admiration developed into romantic feelings, but since it was her
personality, not her person, that he admired, the changes in emotions happened just
as easily.

Maru quietly looked down at the ring in his hands before turning around.

“Okay! Uhm, you should bring some tissue,” Jayeon said.

Maru turned his head around when he heard the word ‘tissue’. Yuna was wiping her
tears off while laughing. Maru did not say anything. Whether she became emotional
due to her acting, or whether she cried because she projected herself into the
character’s breakup, he did not know. He neither had the reason nor the audacity to
ask.

He pulled out some tissues and gave them to Yuna.

“I suddenly felt like crying. Wait a moment.”

She turned around while breathing out in a flustered manner before regaining her
smile in about a minute. Producer Jayeon approached her saying that it was okay,
and that other actors were like this from time to time as well.

“I’m sorry.”

Yuna bowed towards the staff around her in apology. There was absolutely no one
who looked at her in a bad manner.

“Okay, we’ll flip around.”

The camera switched places. Now, it was Yuna’s shoulders on the screen.

“I startled you, didn’t I?”

“No, I wasn’t that surprised.”

“Really? Well, I guess you’d be like that, seonbae.”

Maru faintly smiled.

“Don’t you want to know why I’m crying?”

“Do you want me to?”

After thinking for a while, Yuna quietly shook her head.

“Ah, I think there’s not a shred of regret in me now. I feel refreshed.”

She raised her hands to her eye level and quietly shouted ‘fighting’. Maru wondered
who that was directed at.

“I’ll buy you something nice once we finish.”

“What got into you?”

“It’s just a cowardly tactic of trying to pay back the sense of guilt.”

Yuan tapped on her lips and spoke,

“Then I don’t want it. You need to suffer a little.”

“You’re playing the villainess role now?”

“I wish.”

A sigh mixed with thick regret could be heard.

“Get ready. Three, two, one!”

A time that was an act for one, and a time to clear feelings for the other, flowed by.

***

“Thank you for your work.”

“You too.”

Maru picked up his bag. The staff put away the equipment and got ready to move.
They had a night shoot at the pojang-macha again today. Today was the day when
‘Choi Jihoon’, played by Byungjae, and ‘Kang Haeyeon’, played by Mira, were
connected again. One side broke up, while the other got connected. Between them
was the writer character, Ganghwan, who couldn’t sell any of his work.

“Get some good rest and see you early morning tomorrow. The remaining days will
be on a tight schedule, so don’t catch a cold, you two. Be careful on your way back.”

Maru and Yuna left the school while being seen out by Jayeon.

“I guess that marks the end of the scenes with you now, seonbae.”

“We’ll be done if we don’t have any additional shoots.”

“How do you feel, seonbae? You feel refreshed now that you don’t have to act with
this pain-in-the-ass junior, don’t you?”

“If you said that in order to make me feel bad, then I have to say that it’s pretty
effective.”

“That was exactly my intention, so I’m satisfied.”

Yuna walked right next to him.

“Your mother didn’t come today?”

“Bitna has a shoot. You don’t know that she was cast in a morning drama, do you?”

“Is that true?”

“Yes. She’s also the daughter of the main character. Apparently, she shows up a lot.
I’m wondering if she might become the child actor of the country.”

“If it’s Bitna, she might actually become one.”

“I think so too. Bitna is good after all.”

They stopped in front of a traffic light that was red. On the other side of the road was
the staircase down to the train station.

“Seonbae.”

“Yeah?”

“What is it that you like about Gaeul-seonbae?”

He turned around and looked at Yuna straight in the face before speaking,

“Literally everything.”

“So my unrequited love was hopeless from the beginning, huh.”

The signal changed. Yuna stepped on just the white lines, saying that stepping on the
black ones will make her die. Maru stepped only on the black ones.

“Do you still not contact her these days?”

“Yeah, I’m don’t.”

Yuna looked at the ground. Maru knew that Yuna was a bright kid, but he did not
have a cheerful personality. She had to be feeling tired from trying to liven up the
mood both back at the shooting set and now.

“It’s not because of you, so you don’t need to worry about it.”
“Was it written on my face?”

“You’re quite easy to read.”

They walked down the stairs. Until they arrived at the train platform, Yuna did not
say a word.

Maru could hear the train break the silence and come into the station. He saw the
train push out the air along with vibrations.

“Should I go tell her about it?”

She looked like a frightened hamster. Maru could imagine just how worried she must
have been before uttering that sentence.

“You don’t have to. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Then why…”

“It’s me. I’m the one hesitating.”

The door to the train opened. Maru waved at the dazed Yuna to get on.

“There are times when things just don’t go the way you expect them to, right? That’s
what’s happening to me right now.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

“I’m sorry, but you probably won’t be able to help with anything. I’m not saying this
because I find you unreliable. It’s just that the problem I have is a little peculiar.”

Maru scratched his eyebrows.

“If you want to help, then treat Gaeul well. She still comes to school, right?”

“Yes. She’s been coming to the club ever since the CSATs ended. She teaches us more
passionately than ever before, and she is preparing for her act as well.”

“If she’s doing well, that’s fine.”

“That’s good enough then.”

“That’s enough? What about you?”

“I’m living without any problems like this, so that’s that.”

“Are you really okay?”

“Looks like I really don’t look good huh, making you worried like this.”

Maru tapped on Yuna’s shoulder before looking forward. Having entered a tunnel,
the train quickly rushed through the darkness. The light inside the tunnels flashed
through the windows before disappearing. Maru thought that that was just like the
current situation he was in. He was rushing through the darkness with only a few
clues. He couldn’t even predict where the next stop would be.

“Uhm, seonbae.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m not sure what it is, but I’m sure it will go well. I mean it.”

“Yeah, thanks. I hope it goes well too. Whether it’s the drama, my relationship, or…”

…My life.

Maru closed his eyes as he thought about Gaeul’s humming song.

His hands moved before his eyes opened. He grabbed the phone by his head and took
two breaths. Ring - the alarm rang. He probed out for the button on his phone due to
his blurry vision. Today was the last day of November. The early morning air was
cold even indoors.

He washed his face lightly and put on his jersey.

“You leaving?”

“Yes, father.”

“It’s cold outside. You should wear warm clothes.”

“I am. You’re going down today again, aren’t you?”

“Yes. Look after your mother and your sister while I’m gone.”

“I’ll try to look after my sister, but I don’t think I need to look out for Mrs. Lee. She’s
very reliable.”

“That’s true.”

“There’s medicinal tonic in the vegetable compartment in the fridge. You should have
one and take some for when you go down.”

Maru put on his trainers and left the house. The outside air seeped into his clothes.
The air was frosty. He felt like he could produce a crispy sound if he breathed in
deeply and bit the air.

He exercised before walking down the stairs. He walked along the hiking course up
the mountain before doing some vocal exercises. He took it slow so that the muscles
in his neck and his vocal cords had plenty of time to warm up. He did some more
exercises until he started sweating before returning to his house. His father had left,
and his sister was eating breakfast.
“Good for you, not going to school.”

“You also won’t be going to school once you do your CSATs, so don’t feel jealous.”

Bada, who saw the time, stuffed the rest of the food in her mouth and quickly left the
house. She wouldn’t have to worry if she woke up just 10 minutes earlier, but if she
could do that, she wouldn’t be Han Bada.

Maru took a shower and sat at the table.

“I put some money for living expenses in your account,” he said as he scooped some
doenjang soup.

“I told you you should save it for yourself.”

“I’m saving up plenty for myself, so don’t worry. If you don’t need it, then you should
save up for when Bada gets married.”

“There’s a long time left until Bada gets married.”

“Who knows? She might end up getting married early.”

He finished eating and put the bowls in the sink. His mother, who was washing the
dishes, suddenly spoke out to him,

“I’m thinking of working again.”

“Is your wrist and waist fully healed?”

“They healed ages ago. I’ve had enough of playing around as well. I don’t have
anywhere to go now, so I should look for a side job. Your mom is still pretty young to
be playing around, don’t you think?”

“As long as you’re okay, I have no qualms about it. But don’t do anything dangerous.
Not being injured is the same as saving money.”

His mother shook off the water from the bowls and laughed.

“Do you know?”

“Know what?”

“You’ve been using formal speech for a while.”

“It’s about time I reached that age. Do you find it awkward?”

His mother shook her head.

Maru brewed some coffee and sat on the sofa. As he went to an employment-focused
high school, he had to start looking for a job during the month after the CSATs, but
there were rarely any students who actually started working at factories or looking
for employment. Most of them just got proof of work through their acquaintances or
family members and handed that to the school. Thanks to that, there was practically
a long holiday until the graduation ceremony in February.

His mother left the house, saying that she was going to visit the neighbors. Maru
watched the news for a while before picking up his script. He lowered the TV volume
and put a voice recorder on the table. He checked to see that the record button was
pressed before coughing slightly.

“Did I do something wrong? Do you think I should have said something else back
then?”

He spoke without putting any emotions in. He checked to see if there were any
awkward parts when speaking and kept reading the parts he had to memorize today.

After saying the last line, he stopped the recorder and played it back. He focused his
attention on the voice that was flowing out. Since the voice didn’t contain any
emotional ups and downs, the transmittance was key. He checked for any
pronunciation errors and checked the lines on the script. Maru focused on his tongue
movements when he pronounced a silent t and recorded it again from the beginning.

The human body was made up of muscles that people could voluntarily move and
those that moved involuntarily. The muscles that worked outside of his
consciousness for homeostasis like his heart could be strengthened through exercise
but could not be controlled. Actors had to do their best to use every single muscle
other than those that worked to keep sustaining life.

Among them, the mouth and the neck were two parts that could not be left alone.
Just like how a stewardess would try to smile while biting a pen to create a charming
smile, actors had to hone their muscles endlessly in order to create various facial
expressions.

Maru read the lines again while being conscious of the structure of his mouth. The
sound changed according to how his breath scratched the ceiling of his mouth. The
recorder that was recording his voice was a useful tool that allowed him to judge his
practice objectively. Listening to his voice directly and listening to it through a voice
recorder were completely different. Actors had to place more importance on their
voices that could be heard through a machine.

Click.

He pressed the stop button. The emotions he could feel from the recorded line were
satisfactory.

He looked at the clock. It was 3 p.m. It was about time for him to leave. He put the
script he placed on the table inside his bag before leaving the house. He got on a bus
to Suwon station and then got onto a train headed for Seoul. As Byungchan was busy
looking after Sooil, who had recently started a historical drama in the countryside,
he wasn’t able to get a ride for the time being.

Inside the train, he read a book. Since his occupation was one where he consumed
his emotions, a time to recharge those spent emotions was an important process as
well. He was reading Gwak Joon’s latest work until he arrived at his destination. He
left the station and grabbed a taxi.

“Yoo-un market, please.”

The taxi driver glanced at him before asking if he took the CSAT exams.

“No, I didn’t take mine.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t plan to go to college.”

“I see you must have your circumstances.”

The taxi driver clicked his tongue and said that he didn’t need the extra 300 won
change before giving Maru back the note. Maru smiled and closed the door.
“I wonder if it’s going to start snowing soon.”

He looked up at the sky, and it looked pretty dim. The sky was filled with dark clouds
and seemed like it was about to start snowing at any moment. He also saw on the
news that there was a high chance of snow in the capital region.

“I hope the first snow falls.”

That was the first thing he heard when he arrived at the shooting set. Producer
Jayeon was the one who said those words while looking up at the sky.

“The first snow already fell in Daegwan-ryeong.”

“A snow that falls in another place is unrelated to me. The snow that falls on my head
is the first snow.”

He learned something new today. Maru squinted and looked up at the sky. He felt like
something white like snow had just fallen.

“Don’t forget to wrap up the camera and watch out for the cables. We don’t want any
wire stripping in this weather.”

The camera team seemed rather busy. They were putting on protective clothing in
preparation for the cold and the snow. The lights team was also tuning their
equipment in preparation for the potential snow.

“It would definitely look good if it snows,” Ganghwan said, approaching him.

Maru nodded. Since this was a scene where the two characters held a quiet
conversation in the pojang-macha, it would look great with some snow. The white
steam from the food would also look much better.

“I heard that you decided not to go to college,” Ganghwan said while offering him a
hot pack.

It was one of those that warmed up the more you shook it. He accepted the pack and
replied,

“I’ll see what happens and then go to one if they invite me.”
“Don’t you have to become famous for that?”

“You sure do.”

“You sure are getting ahead of yourself.”

“They say being ambitious is good.”

“Boys be ambitious?”

Ganghwan made a suspicious smile and closed his mouth. Just then, Maru saw a
piece of white fur falling in front of his eyes. He reflexively reached his hand out. The
fur that fell on his palm melted into nothing. It was snow, not fur.

“It’s snowing! Watch out so that it doesn’t get into any of the equipment.”

“Get the clothes! Put all the leather ones back into the car!”

“Get out the oil heaters.”

Voices could be heard from everywhere. Amidst the chaos, Jayeon reached out to the
sky and shouted ‘yes’ in an excited voice. Some of the staff glared at her before going
back to their work while sighing.

“There there, get to standby quickly! Let’s get the snow in the background!”

Snow started falling. It wasn’t the kind that would pile up. It was the light kind that
people would feel fine with getting hit with; the kind that could be expressed as
elegant.

“The director is overjoyed.”

“She sure is.”

He took off his coat and changed into the school uniform behind the car. When he
returned with the hot pack - the one that Ganghwan gave him - in his pocket, they
were ready to shoot. The speed of the veteran staff made him click his tongue.

“It’s your last shoot today, Maru, isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

Jayeon patted his shoulders.

“Since you did well until now, let’s finish off on a good note too. Same to you, actor
Yang.”

“I get it. Get going with the rehearsal already.”

Jayeon pointed at the camera and spoke,

“We’re going to move the camera as little as possible, and we won’t separate the
scene into many cuts either. We’re just going to shoot you two like a picture in a
gallery, so do your best acting. This angle entirely depends on the actors.”

“That puts a lot of pressure on me.”

Maru smiled faintly.

“That’s what I want you to feel. I know what kind of synergy you two can bring, that’s
why I did it. The camera director also said that this picture would look the best.”

“Yeah, if the director wants you to do it, then you just have to do it.”

Ganghwan brushed up his hair once. Steam started rising from the pot of fish cakes.
Ganghwan crouched and adjusted the valve. The broth that boiled like boiling
magma calmed down and seemed like the tranquil sea. There was enough steam to
make the pojang-macha look moody.

Jayeon looked around the pojang-macha once and nodded before walking away in
satisfaction.

“It’s been a while since we did anything with the two of us.”

“Yeah. Yuna isn’t here either.”

“It’s snowing too. Looks like today’s gonna be good. Let’s get something satisfactory
for our director, yeah?”

“I just follow your lead, hyung-nim. Please lead me well. I’ll follow you.”
Ganghwan smiled nonchalantly before stretching his arms out. When he lowered his
arm with a groan, he was no longer Yang Ganghwan; he had become the affectionate
owner of the pojang-macha, Lee Jaewoo, who was also a writer who had hit a block.
Maru exclaimed every time he saw Ganghwan’s method acting that switched his
character in an instant.

Maru also lightly shook his head and calmed down his emotions. The more absorbed
in acting he was, the clearer his mind became, which made his calculations quicker
as well. It was impossible to become the character in this state. The only thing he
could do was to meticulously analyze the character and cover that analysis with the
skin of Han Maru.

“If you’re ready, let’s start!” Jayeon shouted.

Following that, the familiar cue sign fell from the director.

“You’re alone today,” Ganghwan said indifferently as he shook the moisture off the
noodles.

No, he was ‘Lee Jaewoo’. Maru picked up an egg from the basket in front of him. The
character he played, Park Haejoon, was not someone who reached out for other
people’s items so easily. Ordinary politeness and a bit of introvertedness was his
identity, but he had changed after meeting Yoon Jihae. The audience would feel a
discrepancy if he showed a drastic change, so he had to keep reaching out to the
audience with trivial actions like these.

“It just so happened.”

He thought about Yuna, Yoon Jihae’s face. He lined up the emotions that rushed up
within him and observed them. It was time to see which one suited this situation the
most, as well as which one he could use to match Ganghwan’s acting.

“Did you two get into a fight?”

“No. We didn’t fight, we decided to be just friends.”

“Just friends, you say.”

“Ahjussi.”
“What?”

“Do you have a lover as well?”

“I did.”

“How about now?”

“I don’t have one.”

“Why did you break up?”

“Because my future looked uncertain.”

“That’s a clear answer.”

“As you get older, you start despising things that are vague. Do you want some
fishcakes?”

“I only have 1,000 won.”

“It’s a freebie.”

“Then I’ll gladly take it.”

Silence fell as agreed upon beforehand. Maru rolled the egg on the table before
taking out a ring from his pocket.

“Couple ring?”

“How did you know?”

“I saw you two wearing one together. Did she give it to you?”

“Yes, she did.”

“I see.”

“Uhm, ahjussi.”
“What?”

“Do you think I did something wrong?”

As he fidgeted with the ring, the udon bowl was placed in front of him.

“If you don’t know, then I’m sure you did something wrong.”

Maru picked up his chopsticks and put some udon in his mouth. There was one
emotion that popped out from the line. He judged that it was the right one, so he let
that emotion take over. The moment the noodles touched his lips, his chin shook. He
lowered his head as he swallowed the noodles. He could see the camera lens flash at
the perimeter of his vision. He felt conscious about it but did not get hung up on it.
This was the basics of camera acting.
Jayeon looked at the monitor while covering her mouth. This was the last cut, and it
needed tears in the act. She was blessed with luck as there was snow, so she
wouldn’t ask for anything else if the act was good.

The two actors were captured in the angle. The faint steam that rose up from the
bowl was tickling Maru’s face, and Ganghwan, who was indifferently cleaning his
cooking tools, was showing his affectionate side by giving Maru glances from time to
time.

Although there was not a single well-known actor or even a beautiful spectacle for
that matter, Jayeon had confidence in this drama. This drama would definitely be the
talk of the people. The basis of her confidence was the two people acting right now.
Ha Byungjae, Choi Mira, Kim Yuna. While these three showed their skills to their
fullest extent, they paled in comparison to the two people in front of her. Ganghwan’s
act had reached a state of perfection when he was still a college student, and now it
had reached a stage of maturity and was just before establishing his own brand. As
for Maru, he didn’t lose out to any of the adult actors despite his young age, and he
even stood out from time to time.

A good man who himself was an unfortunate writer with an uncertain future, but
also someone who could not ignore other people’s pains; and a student who changed
his personality in pursuit of the girl he liked, but resultantly ended up crossing paths
with her. The characters that had formed over the course of four episodes were now
rushing towards their own endings.

Maru lowered his head as though he was about to stick his nose into the udon bowl.
What Jayeon had in mind was to do a master shot with everyone and everything in it
first before getting a close-up of Maru’s sad face. She judged that it would be hard to
capture the details of his emotions with the side angle that they were shooting now.

“I think this might be better,” she said in a small voice.

Although she couldn’t clearly make out Maru’s facial features because the camera
shot from far away, it was surprisingly incredibly clear that Maru was crying in
sadness. The two hands that clutched the udon bowl; the trainers that stuck to the
ground before being lifted off slightly; the shrunk shoulders; the breath that was
mixed with the steam from the udon; and last but not least, the intermittent crying
noises. The crying noise was not that big. In fact, it was barely audible to the point
that it might as well be have been drowned out by the other sounds. The crying
sound was mixed with the wind, which would disappear during the post-processing.
It was the cry of a boy who could not cry out loud.

Ganghwan, who was sitting on the other side, opened the steamer. This wasn’t in the
script. Jayeon kept watching. When actors got into the flow of acting, they started
doing things that were above and beyond what the script could tell.

He took out some soondae from the steamer and put it in a bowl. He put it down next
to Maru, who was crying silently, and started chopping up radishes to put into the
fish cake container. It was the consolation method of a man who was awkward at
expressing his emotions. The pojang-macha he started in order to avoid the
problems of reality ironically ended up being a place for him to console other people.
It befitted the character ‘Lee Jaewoo’ that Ganghwan interpreted, who felt more pain
when it came to other people’s pain than his own hardships.

Jayeon looked at Maru again. Until now, the emotions followed through quite well.
She wondered how he was going to react to the improvisation of the soondae. Jayeon
would feel satisfied even if he burst out laughing due to the absurdity of the
situation. After all, everything just looked too good until now.

She got ready to shout cut. Now that she got her hands on some good footage, it was
a good idea to cut off their emotions now and consult with the actors about changing
the next part. The word ‘cut’ climbed up to the back of her tongue.

After staying silent for a while, Maru started moving. He swallowed the noodles that
were about to fall through his teeth. It seemed that the two actors still had
something they wanted to do.

He stared at the soondae for a while before raising his head. His face, which couldn’t
be seen clearly until now as he was looking down, was revealed. Above the neck that
had veins all over it from trying to hold back his voice, was a face filled with complex
emotions. He sniffed before wiping his tears with his sleeve. He spat out a deep
breath and Jayeon could feel a heart-thumping something from his actions.
“I only have 1,000 won.”

He repeated what he said before, but his expression looked different. He forced
himself to smile. The boy who felt embarrassed about crying in front of a man who
was much older than him looked young and immature at most, even if he wanted to
look like nothing had happened. He looked like he was about to return to the times
before he tried to change himself to imitate the girl he liked.

Although the bitter breakup was still there, it didn't hurt. Jayeon started
contemplating as she watched the act of the two that went one step beyond the
breakup of youths that she wanted to picture originally. If she decided to keep the
improvised bit at the end, the story between the student couple would turn from a
cup of black coffee into bittersweet dark chocolate.

“Cut!” Jayeon shouted loudly before walking over to the two people.

“Let me ask you something, hyung. What do you think love is?”

“What the hell is this about all of a sudden?”

“Just tell me. Do you think love is closer to a cup of black coffee or a bar of dark
chocolate?”

“I’m not sure what this is about, but I’ll go with dark chocolate. I could never bring
myself to like coffee.”

“What about you, Maru?”

Jayeon looked at Maru. Maru faintly smiled, his eyes still red.

“I also don’t like things that are only bitter.”

“Good. That’s fine.”

“Should I get ready for the next cut?”

“No, you’re done.”

“Eh?”
“I said you’re done. There’s no more shoot for you.”

Maru stood up in a daze.

“Hyung. Boil some more water and make another bowl of udon. Also, chop up some
more soondae. We need to get a close-up shot of those. No wait, both of you, just
follow me. I’ll show you what we got just now. Tell me if you don’t like any of it. Hey,
little one! Boil some water and set up the bowls, will you?”

Jayeon felt agitated. She came up with everything for the drama, including the plot
and the script, and the drama followed along until the last moment, but there was
now a scene that didn’t go according to her intentions. A cut that was not of her
intentions, that was what excited her. Perhaps it was the creator’s duality to want the
world they built to be sturdy yet also want something or someone to go beyond their
expectations.

While she worked as an assistant director in the drama department, she got to know
that different producers had different traits in the way they produced. There were
directors who minimized their communications with the actors and perfectly
implemented the world they wanted, while other people would proactively reach out
to the actors in an attempt to create a better picture. What Jayeon ultimately aimed
to become someone who directed everything so perfectly that no one would be able
to give suggestions to her, but that was clearly impossible right now. Her
understanding of videography was shallower than the camera director, and she
couldn’t say that she had a deeper understanding of acting than the actors. Her
world was still incomplete. That was why, when someone stepped out of her picture,
Jayeon chose to ask a question.

The camera director approached her as well when she gestured to him. After
checking that their eyes were fixed on the monitor, she played back the footage. No
one said anything until the end.

“Director Yoo, didn’t I do a good job?” said the camera director with a smile.

Jayeon raised her thumbs up in response. She then turned around to look at the two
actors.

“If you don’t like it, I’ll just shoot again. If you like it, then we should just go with
that,” Maru said.
“Are you going to air that completely? I think that was more than a minute. Can you
air that much in a drama without changing cuts? I’m asking because I don’t know,”
Ganghwan asked.

Jayeon just replied ‘it’s a mini-series’.

“Then there we have the answer. If you like it, director, then you should just push on
with it. It’s not me who gets in trouble if it does bad.”

Ganghwan walked over to the pojang-macha with a refreshing laugh. Maru also
shrugged before following suit. Jayeon’s lips curved. Those answers helped her make
up her mind.

“Senior, get the surrounding scenery. Can you do it while it’s still snowing? I need
everything with that lamp post at the center.”

“I can do that. I just need to change the lens.”

“Please take care of that. Also, I need a shot from a bird’s-eye view. Please take an
overview shot from the roof of that building.”

“I heard you called for a jimmy jib in the afternoon, though?”

“That’s for a zoom-out shot from the top of the pojang-macha.”

“So you did end up using it. I was wondering when you were going to use it since you
were saving up so much of the budget.”

“I should save up when I can. It’s all outsourced after all. Or would you like to do it
instead?”

“I don’t have a jimmy jib. You can borrow it from the entertainment program side. I
heard they have one there.”

“Sure, if they are willing to lend it to us.”

Jayeon clapped and shouted.

“Let’s eat for now!”

 ***

The end of the shoot came much earlier than he expected. Maru opened the
lunchbox in a daze. The scene he thought would take several cuts ended with just
one. Although going home early was a present that was always welcome, it was way
too early today.

“If you don’t have anything to do, you should just cheer from the sidelines,”
Ganghwan said as he sat next to him.

“I’m rather puzzled because it ended so early.”

“You’re blessed.”

“You’re going back to the studio after shooting here, right?”

“I think I’m going to have to shoot until early tomorrow. This goes against the
contract. I liked it when I got paid by the day, but going past midnight happens way
too frequently. When I’m rehearsing for a play, I would start packing up once the sun
falls, but there’s nothing like that here.”

“That’s why they say TV work is hard. The actors can go home once they’re done
with the shoot, but those people have to clean up afterwards.”

“You’re right. They work even harder than us.”

He stuffed the cold food in his mouth. It was warm when he got it, but it cooled down
quickly because of the snowy weather.

“You were good.”

“What?”

“I mean your acting. There’s nothing more pleasing than someone accepting my act
like that, and you were really good too.”

“I did wonder a little when I saw that soondae next to me. Should I eat it? Should I
leave it? Should I continue even though it wasn’t in the script? Should I stop?”

“You did pretty well.”

“Please tell me next time. I still lack the skill to keep up with spontaneous changes
like that.”

“You did plenty well though. Anyway, it was worth teaching you.”

“Yes, it was worth learning.”

Slurp~

He drank the miso soup from the plastic container. It was still warm.

“You’re still managing your throat well, right?”

“I never ceased to.”

“That’s good then. If you keep up with the basics, I’m happy with that.”

Well done - Ganghwan patted his shoulder before standing up. He finished his lunch
box in that short time period.

“Don’t go home first. This hyung-nim is gonna have a hard time, so it’s not right for
the little brother to rest easy.”

“Now that makes me want to go home even more.”

“What a mean guy. I hope you fall over while going home.”

“So you’re saying it doesn’t matter what happens to me now that the shoot is over?”

“Of course. Divine retribution will fall on a guy who ditches the actor that he worked
with.”

“If it’s divine retribution, I’m receiving one right now.”

“How?”

“I’m going home early.”

“Why don’t you give that retribution to me?”

Ganghwan waved his hand and walked away. Maru finished his food before standing
up. The character he went to many lengths to analyze would close his eyes today. He
wondered how he would show up on TV, as well as what kind of reactions the people
would have.

“Thanks for your work.”

Maru thanked the actors and the staff who were getting ready to shoot again for one
last time.
“General manager Park, it’s been a while.”

“Director Kim, you look good these days.”

“Not at all. I’m tired to death.”

“Aren’t you going to start shooting a film soon?”

“It’s usually harder before the shoot. You know it too, don’t you? It’s a pain in the ass
to flesh out the project.”

Director Kim Chiho sat down after shaking hands with general manager Park.

“It’s cold outside, isn’t it?”

“Don’t even start. I drove my car here, and it was so damn slippery. The snow that fell
yesterday froze up. You should be careful when you drive too.”

“It’s not me who should be careful; it’s the chauffeur. Here, have some of this. It’ll
warm you up.”

It was sake contained in a white ceramic pot. General manager Park put a sake glass
in a square box made of hinoki wood[1] and poured the sake so that it overflowed
from the glass. Kim Chiho picked up the glass along with the box and brought it in
front of him.

“First, drink from the glass and then you should drink what has pooled up in the
wooden frame. It tastes great when there’s a scent of cypress in it.”

Chiho lifted up the glass, that was wet on the surface due to the alcohol, and gulped it
down at once. The smell of the heated alcohol as well as the heat from drinking it
rushed down his throat. It was sweet, but his throat hurt as the alcohol content was
pretty high.

“When are you starting the shoot?”

“I already rented a set of buildings in Gapyeong, and I’m going to start as soon as the
renovations are done. Even if I use computer graphics for the building collapsing
scene, I can’t use CG for all of the explosion scenes as well. Actually doing it is much
better. That’s why I’m putting a lot of effort into safety so that we don’t get any
injuries. Safety is important after all.”

“Of course it is. You’ll be in big trouble if people get injured. The young master will be
there too after all.”

Chiho nodded.

“How was he? I heard you did an audition.”

“I did it out of formality, but he was unexpectedly good. I thought he would be a

complete newbie, so it put me at ease knowing that he’s actually pretty good.”

“The chairman will disown his own family if they’re incompetent. He’s exerting some
of his power because the young master is pretty decent.”

“Yes, I’m sure that’s the case.”

General manager Park took out a box from his bag.

“Also, take this.”

“What’s this?”

“It’s a gift for you, from the chairman himself. Do you remember how he said that
your arm looked a little desolate last time?”

Chiho recalled his meeting with the chairman two months ago. Actually, it wasn’t
much of a ‘meeting’ since the only thing he did was enter his office, greet him, and
leave. The chairman, who was drinking quietly, waved at him to leave as though he
was done seeing his face, so Chiho lowered his gaze as he walked backwards. He did
hear the chairman mention something about how his hand looked rather empty.

“Take it. My arm is starting to hurt.”

“There’s no need to go this far…”

“Hey, fella, you should take it when you’re given the chance. Even without this, the
budget for the film is mostly from us, the YM group, isn’t it? It’s the chairman’s
money anyway, so giving you an extra gift doesn’t change things in the grand scheme
of things.”

Now that he heard that, he felt like it was true. Chiho carefully accepted the box.

“What are you doing? Open it, I want to have a look at it as well.”

“Shall I?”

Although he felt rather iffy before he received it, he was excited now that it was
actually in his hands. It was a gift from YM’s chairman himself, so there would be
little chance of him getting into trouble for this. Now that he was confident that he
could take the gift safely, he felt bliss rising up from his fingers as he opened the
package.

“Whew, director Kim. Are you sure you can go around wearing that?” general
manager Park said while clapping in exclamation.

Chiho picked up the watch that was placed on the blackish-brown velvet pad. On the
face of the watch was a simple logo that started with P. He gulped subconsciously.

“Put it on.”

“I’m afraid that I might get it dirty.”

Although he said those words, his hands were already reaching out for the watch
strap. He took off the crappy electronic watch he was wearing and put on the new
watch. Even though the only thing that changed about him was the watch, he felt like
his class had risen by several levels.

“Director Kim, it looks good on you, eh?”

“I wonder if it’s okay to walk around wearing this…”

“The chairman gave it to you. You should wear it. If you’re so hesitant about it, then
you should make the film a great hit and then wear it proudly.”

“I should do that. I would feel much better if I put it on after putting all of my efforts
into the film.”

He took off the watch and put it back in the box. As for the old electronic watch that
protected his wrist for many years, he put it in his pocket. He felt iffy now that he
thought about putting it on again.

“I’m not telling you to support him openly. The chairman doesn’t want that either.
It’ll be fine as long as you become a foothold for him to rise up. You understand?”

“Of course. I gave Mr. Kang Giwoo a good character and good scenes so that he will
become successful in the future, so don’t worry about it.”

“Yes. I guess I should leave it to you. Oh, you should drink the pooled sake. Since you
opened the gift and all, let’s toast in hopes of a great hit.”

He raised the hinoki cup. They toasted lightly before he emptied the contents in his
mouth. Even as he drank, his eyes were fixed on the watch box placed on the table.
The sensation of the leather that wrapped around his wrist for a brief time was still
vivid to him.

“You seemed to have taken quite a liking to it, huh?”

“Eh? Ah, yes. I mean, when would I get to wear a watch like this? I can’t help but be
drawn to it.”

“I’ve never received such a gift either. I guess it means that the chairman just has that
much hope for you.”

“I’m touched.”

“Who knows? He might bestow you another gift if you are successful with this movie
and the young master receives more attention from the people.”

He waved his hand in denial, saying that he didn’t think that it would go that far, but
inside, he was high up on the moon.

He thought back to when he first met general manager Park. Chiho just laughed
when he asked him if he had any intentions of doing a film that was on a bigger scale.
In this industry, scale meant money, and he was not a director that was well-known
enough to receive such a big investment. Although he did have a scenario for a
disaster film that he made before, it had long been locked up inside a drawer
somewhere because of financial problems.

“Let’s just cast one good child actor. If you do that, the investment problem will be
fixed.”

That led to the current situation. At first, he felt like he accepted an unjust deal, and
he couldn’t sleep at night because he felt like he had sold his soul as a man of film,
but that only lasted a week. After the promised support and investment became a
reality, he became so busy that sleeping was no longer a concern. He was introduced
to a famous camera outsourcing team that was known for being hard to get into
contact with, and he managed to form a team with a sound director who was known
for being incredibly good at picking up ambient sounds.

After he formed what he thought to be a team of his dreams, he was then introduced
to actors who he always wanted to work with. He liked Lee Hyuk from Soul
Entertainment, who regained the spotlight last year as an actor, but above all, he
couldn’t help but clap when he heard that Ahn Joohyun was the main heroine. When
he heard that she accepted because she found the scenario good, Chiho felt like he
had the world to himself. Proud actors and actresses didn’t move based on money
after all. It was entirely up to the scenario to move such people.

“Good luck.”

General manager Park’s words woke him up from his thoughts.

“I will do well. This is the opportunity of a lifetime after all.”

“I like that attitude of yours. Also, did you finish casting the actors? I did hear that
you finished casting the main ones.”

“The important roles are all settled. We already adjusted the schedule, and as I told
you before, we’ll crank in once the building gets renovated.”

“There won’t be a problem with any of the actors right? I saw on the news before
that a film became controversial after one of the actors got caught while illegally
gambling. And it was a supporting character too. This work concerns our young
master, so both you and I will get into trouble if something goes wrong. You have to
watch out.”
“I’ve asked reliable people to do the casting, so you don’t need to worry.”

Chiho remembered the many actors that he saw during the audition. There was a girl
that caught his eyes among the mediocre bunch. The moment he saw her act, he felt
that Choi Gyeonmi’s eyes were still as sharp as ever. He admired her for managing to
find such good talents every single time.

“Something interesting?” general manager Park asked after seeing him smile.

“I found a really good one during the audition.”

“Is it an important role?”

“It’s going to be a minor one, but I guess you could call it important since it will
ignite the mood before the main scene.”

“Looks like luck is with you. You have all the support you want, and you even like the
actors who came for the audition.”

“I can’t deny that.”

“Is it a man? Or a woman?”

“It’s a girl, she’s in high school.”

“She must be cute then.”

“Well, she does look cute, but you wouldn’t think that once you watch her act. She
plays a character that gets squashed under the debris, but her eyes and screams.
Man, she wasn’t ordinary.”

“The extras have to do well for our young master to shine.”

“Of course. The film would look less complete if there’s a hole in it. Only after the
foundational work is done properly can the main actors play on top of it.”

Han Gaeul, was it? Chiho thought about the girl who heaved out a heavy breath after
finishing her act. She would become big as long as she found the right opportunity.

“Well then, I think we’re done with talking about work, so let’s eat comfortably.”
“Oh, please go ahead,” Chiho said as he picked up his chopsticks.

***

“Oh, seonbae.”

Maru gave a plastic bag to Aram, who looked at him in puzzlement.

“What is this?”

“Some food for everyone. How’s practice?”

“We’re just about to start. Watch us while you’re here.”

“What about Daemyung?”

“He’s fallen ill. That seonbae, he’s big, but he’s actually pretty weak.”

“It’s you who’s way too healthy.”

Maru looked at Aram, who was wearing a half-sleeve shirt. It was December too.

“It’s fine since I’ll be sweating once I start running.”

“If I was your junior, I would’ve quit the acting club already. I can imagine the pains
they would have to go through.”

He opened the door and went inside. He saw first-year students strewn across the
floor, panting heavily. They were probably practicing in preparation for the national
competition in winter.

“What brings you here?” Miso asked from the chair.

She was covering her lower body with a blanket.

“I had nothing to do.”

“Did you finish your shoot?”

“That finished last week. I did leave my house because I felt itchy staying at home all
the time, but I didn’t find anywhere suitable to go. So I ended up coming to school.”

“Don’t you think that sounds way too tragic for someone of your age?”

“True. Anyway, is your body okay?”

“Apparently, nothing really changes much just because I’m pregnant. Maybe it’s
because I’m only a month in,” Miso said, stroking her stomach.

“Be careful now. They say prenatal education is very important. You should use good
words and refrain from getting angry.”

“Now that you said those words, I think I’m starting to get pissed.”

“I told you, it’s not good for prenatal education.”

Maru sat next to Miso. As soon as Aram returned, the members of the acting club
started stretching again while groaning. Aram trained them even more harshly than
Miso did.

“You guys picked a great club president.”

“She’s a devil too.”

“I wonder what you meant by ‘too’. It feels like I’m one of them.”

“Of course not. You’re just imagining it. Oh, what did you go with for the prenatal
name?”

“Snowball[2].”

Miso chuckled after saying those words.

“It’s the dad’s work. My naming sense isn’t like that.”

“Why? I quite like Snowball. Snowball, I hope you grow up a lot and become a good
person like teacher Taesik, okay?”

“Oho, so I’m not a good person?”

“The baby’s listening.”

Maru opened the bag and took out a gift packaged in wrapping paper.

“What’s this?”

“I came here to give you this. It’s shoes for a baby. It’s a color that suits both boys and
girls.”

After accepting the gift, Miso patted Maru on the head.

“Thanks. I’ll use it well.”

“Please tell him or her that it’s a gift from Maru-ahjussi and that he’s expecting a gift
in return.”

Maru picked up his bag and stood up.

“Then I’ll leave now.”

“You should watch the practice while you’re here.”

“Actually, I have somewhere I need to go. I only came here since it was on the way.”

Maru said a word of encouragement to the others before leaving the hall.

[1] Japanese cypress.

[2] I have no idea how to translate this. 쑥쑥이 is a written movement description
(like onomatopoeia but not quite), for growing up.
“The first episode airs today, didn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“How do you think it’ll do?”

“The late-night drama that airs at the same time on another channel is quite popular,
so I don’t expect much. Of course, it’d be great if it does well.”

Maru crumpled the empty paper cup and stood up.

“I heard about the prenatal name. Snowball, huh. Pretty good, I must say.”

“My wife didn’t seem to like it though.”

“I’m sure she’s just not showing it even though she likes it. Thanks for the hot
chocolate. Please bring me out to drink next time. I can legally drink now.”

“Yes, let’s do that.”

Maru said goodbye to Taesik before walking over to the container behind the school.
He felt like it was yesterday when he wrote ‘Acting club warehouse’ with white paint,
yet he could already see that it had yellowed and was beginning to scratch off. He
tried pulling on the firmly locked padlock. He could hear a heavy metal sound. While
it was very rusty, there didn’t seem to be a problem with its function.

“It’s still pretty useful.”

Thinking that he would probably never see it again, Maru tapped on the outer wall of
the container before leaving the school. When he looked back at the school after
crossing the road, he saw that it was shrouded in darkness. The only places where
the lights were on were the gym on the left, the 1st floor where the faculty office was,
and the 5th-floor hall. He felt like he could hear the faint sounds of the acting club
practicing their lines.
He took out a scarf from his bag and put it around his neck. The wind was fierce. It
was cold enough for there to be a warning from the government. He stomped his legs
at the bus stop as he waited for the bus.

“Honey, it’s cold, put this on.”

“I’m fine though.”

“Put it on anyway. You catch colds often. You should watch out when you can.”

A man who seemed to be in college was putting a scarf around a woman. The man’s
nose had turned red, but he was smiling as though it was nothing. Marriage, child,
and couple. Maru smiled bitterly. What was he supposed to wish for in a world
where what’s natural was no longer so?

The bus arrived. He got in and stood in front of the back door.

“Yes, hun. I’m going back.”

“Darling, listen to me. I had a really hard time today.”

“Alright, watch out on your way back. I’ll be going back first with Jisoo.”

He heard the usual sounds of people telling their lovers what happened during the
day, venting their frustration, and just talking about trivial stuff. Maru took out his
phone and put it down many times. Ever since he got a reply text from when it was
the CSAT exams, she hadn’t contacted him once. I’ll do well - that was the last text
she sent him.

“Are you still unable to speak?”

Maru called out to the masked man living within him. Ever since he regained his
memories, the masked man stopped speaking. The silence of his only ally
dramatically increased his fatigue. When he was acting, he could interact with the
masked man, but it was impossible to converse like before. Maru thought that the
day the masked man broke his silence would be the day of his death. It was just an
assumption, but he was probably correct.

When he got off the bus, he got a text message. It was from Yuna. He messaged her
that he was departing right now. He got onto the train headed for Sindorim. It would
only take 50 minutes for him to get there, so he had plenty of time. He stood so that
he wouldn’t easily lose balance and opened a novel. This was the only time his brain
got to rest due to all the problems of the real world that he could not solve. It was a
thriller novel that was written from the perspective of a person captured by a bunch
of delusional patients, but he did not feel any agitation at all. Perhaps it was because
he was in an even more fantasy-like situation.

When he read about half, he arrived at Sindorim station. He stepped onto the
platform amidst the crowd. He watched the people struggling to get on[1] before
stepping onto the stairs.

“Uhm, I’ve arrived at Sindorim station, where should I go now?”

-Once you leave through the 5th exit, you should find a convenience store across the
road. There’s a bank to its right, and if you follow that road, you should be able to see
the sign of the restaurant.

“Okay, got it.”

He hung up the call with Ganghwan and started walking. He looked at the buildings
lined up along the road until he found the restaurant. He pushed the glass door and
went inside. His ears, which had frozen stiff under the weather, melted instantly.

He took the elevator to the 7th floor. He walked past a couple of drunk people, went
inside, and saw a bronze statue of an elderly man covered in red. He wondered what
the chicken colonel was doing here, covered in red. The people walking by also
seemed to have found it interesting and some of them even took photos.

He opened the door to the restaurant and went inside. The first thing that caught his
eyes was the u-shaped bar. The people sitting at the bar seemed to be in their early
30s on average. Above the bar were large TVs on each side. Each of them had a
different program showing. Although it looked like some jazz would suit the scene,
the sound that filled the restaurant was people’s chatter mixed with the TV noises.

Maru looked around. There were tables blocked by screens on each side of the u-
shaped bar, and he saw Ganghwan sitting by the window to the right.

“You’re here.”

The first one to welcome him was Jayeon. Maru took off his bag and sat down.
“Are Byungjae-hyung and Mira-noona not here yet?”

“They can’t come because of work or something. I don’t know those guys anymore.
Those guys, I told them we should watch the first episode together, and they just
ignored me. The shoot is over for them, so we don’t have any business together, huh?
They don’t need me anymore, huh?”

Jayeon sighed while resting her chin on her hands.

“I think you’re drunk already.”

“I’m drunk on the indifference of other people. Isn’t it romantic for the producer and
the actor to watch the first episode together?”

“I think they’re avoiding you because you bullied them during the afterparty.”

He thought back to Jayeon, who had held on to Mira and Byungjae throughout the
whole afterparty. She kept making them drink saying that she was exhausted, and
those two probably didn’t attend today because they pushed themselves too far that
day.

“We’re really going to go until the end today. Today’s Fire Friday, so don’t think about
pulling out. I don’t have any work tomorrow either. But where’s Yuna? Why don’t I
see her?”

Just as Jayeon took out her phone, Maru saw Yuna hurry over from the entrance of
the restaurant.

“I was almost disappointed in you thinking that you weren’t coming. Yuna, come next
to unni and sit down.”

Jayeon opened her arms wide to welcome Yuna. If Maru had to pick two people that
had gotten really close during the two months of shooting, he would choose Jayeon
and Yuna.

“I actually got lost on my way here. Was I late by a lot?”

“No. You’re forgiven for coming. Yuna, you’re incomparably better than kids like
Byungjae and Mira.”
Jayeon giggled as she hugged Yuna. Maru quietly asked Ganghwan, who sat next to
him.

“I don’t see any empty bottles, where were you guys drinking?”

“We already emptied 2 bottles in the pojang-macha right in front of this place.”

“Aren’t you going in the wrong order? From a pojang-macha to a bar…”

“Don’t ask me that. I’m just a casualty too. Looks like she really did receive a lot of
stress. She started acting like an unrestrained pony after the editing finished, and it
made even me tired.”

“Making you tired huh, that speaks a lot. I think I should run if I want to survive.”

“One of us will have to take the gun. You be sick, I’ll take you home.”

“No. Why don’t you suddenly fall down saying that you have acute appendicitis? I’ll
carry you to the hospital.”

Maru turned his head around at the tapping noise. It was the sound of Jayeon
slapping down on a table.

“What are you two on about?”

“We were just discussing what to eat,” Maru quickly came up with an excuse.

One wrong step and Jayeon would feed him drinks immediately.

“Let’s fill ourselves for now, shall we?”

They each ordered what they wanted to eat.

“Also, bring us beer and two sodas.”

After the waiter walked away, Jayeon stretched her arms out and spoke,

“I wish I could have Maru drink, but the year hasn’t passed yet, so I guess it’s not
happening.”
“Phew.”

“Instead, you can drink mixes.”

“What?”

“I’m telling you to mix it with your soda so that people won’t find out.”

“I thought it was you who went on about not allowing minors to drink…”

“That’s when I was shooting. Now that everything’s over, I have nothing to hold back.
Of course, Yuna’s still a baby, so let’s not drink alcohol, okay?”

She sounded like a drunk old man. It would be fortunate if she did not suddenly go
over to the next table and started ranting.

“Anyway, I’m fortunate that it ended safely,” Yuna said.

Maru nodded. The shoot ended without any big accidents. They even had the luck of
snow during the last shoot. It would be great if that luck continued and influenced
the viewing rates.

“Enjoy your food.”

Various drinking snacks and food were placed on the table. They talked about
various episodes that happened during the shoot. As most of them were practically
drunk during the afterparty, they didn’t have any time to talk properly.

“I actually felt rather uneasy when we first started off, but now that I think about it, I
don’t think anyone else would’ve worked.”

“You’re just sounding weak at this point. You said you had to make it work when you
started shooting.”

“Hyung, the ship is bound to capsize if the captain is uneasy. Even if I feel uneasy, I
have to rein it in and take command. Isn’t that right?”

Maru agreed, saying ‘that’s right’.

“Anyways, you two, weren’t you two going out?” Jayeon asked as she hung her arm
around Yuna.

Yuna, who was eating some omurice, froze on the spot.

“You two looked to be on pretty good terms.”

“We decided to be good friends,” Maru said.

Yuna quickly nodded in agreement.

“What the? Looks like Maru rejected you.”

“No way.”

“Really? Am I wrong then? I definitely thought that you were dating.”

“Maru-seonbae has a girlfriend already,” Yuna said with a straight back.

She gave off the feeling of knowing what was going on and was clearly stating that
she did not want to talk about this anymore. Jayeon glanced at Yuna for a while
before changing the topic. She wasn’t someone who would pry into what people did
not want to talk about. While she was easy-going, she definitely kept her manners.

“If I think about how that dog kept delaying the shoot, it still makes me angry.”

Jayeon kept the conversation going. Yuna also joined the conversation as though she
wanted to shake off what they were talking about before. While the two women
excitedly chatted, Maru quietly poured some soda into his cup and drank.

“Oh, it’s about to start.”

Just as everyone was laughing about the time they got an NG due to a laugh, Jayeon
had looked at her watch and then spoke. Maru also checked the time. It was 10:58.

“I’ll go tell them to change the channel.”

Maru stood up and walked over to the counter. He had the TV facing them change the
channel to YBS. The documentary that aired at 10 on Friday was still on.

“I wonder if we got a lot of ads,” Maru said as he sat down.

“Don’t ask,” Jayeon said indifferently. Businesses who could put ads into a mini-series
either had money left over or were those that had little to no money.

Yuna, who was sitting on the other side, started tapping on her phone.

“What are you doing?” Maru asked.

Yuna stopped and chuckled.

“I’m texting my friends to watch it since it’s going to start soon. It might affect the
viewing rate.”

He probably didn’t need to tell the innocent girl that the viewing rates were
investigated a different way. Maru put his spoon in his mouth and looked at the TV.
The documentary finished, the and ads started.

“I’m nervous,” Jayeon said.

Ganghwan also looked at the screen with a serious face since this was the first work
he did outside of the theater.

“There won’t be any hiccups, right?”

“If there is, it’s your fault now, Han Maru.”

Maru just shrugged.

From some moment onwards, everyone’s eyes were fixed on the TV. The hands that
kept moving the forks and glasses now stayed on top of tables and knees neatly.
Maru understood why Jayeon chose this place. It was a bar, yet it was not noisy. He
could hear the sounds of the TV clearly. Although the sounds of conversations
interfered, it wasn’t bad to the point that it bothered him. It was like a jazz bar, but
the TV replaced the jazz.

“It’s starting,” Jayeon said.

Starting - this was a magical word. Maru felt that the sounds around him were
blocked off completely in one moment. His ears became a precise machine and just
accepted the sounds from the TV speaker. After the last ad ended, the program logo
in the top right corner of the screen disappeared. Then, the YBS program song came
out alongside a notice that this was rated R15 before it disappeared.

Maru turned around to the TV. He crossed his legs and picked up the glass full of
soda.

A dark night; a plane flew past the crescent moon sky. The camera chased the plane
which was blinking its crash-prevention lights before slowly moving down to the
bottom. It portrayed the back of a man who was walking up a hill. In the man’s left
hand was a black plastic bag.

“It’s on, it’s on,” Jayeon said as she tapped on Ganghwan.

Ganghwan told her to calm down a little and quietly looked at the screen.

Ganghwan, who was singing ‘Sanoramyeon’ by Deul-gukhwa[1] as he climbed the

hill, suddenly braced himself against the wall on his right and started retching.
Usually, dramas would only play the sound or shoot from afar, but Ganghwan’s
cringing face was zoomed in on. From how he looked like he was going to vomit at
any moment and how his saliva dropped out from the corner of his mouth, he looked
so vivid that people might misunderstand him and think that he had heavily drunk
some booze before the shoot.
“Ah, what the hell.”

“Urgh, it’s getting me too.”

The people at their neighboring tables started grumbling.

“Director Yoo, see that? I told you it was way too graphic.”

“It’s not me, it’s every other drama that’s been too clean these days. Hyung, I told you
that it’s about time for the paradigm to shift. How long do you think they can keep up
the pretty act? We should wrap things up and start to follow America and England.
Look at their dramas. They portray life as it is. Sex, murder, surgery - they don’t even
blur it out like we do…”

“Fine. What am I supposed to say to you…”

Maru put out his hand holding the glass. Ganghwan sighed before toasting with him.

Ganghwan entered a worn-out room and leaned against the wall before falling down.
The camera showed the mumbling Ganghwan for a while before showing the prizes
hung up on the wall. Various literature prizes with the name ‘Lee Jaewoo’ could be
seen on screen.

The camera slowly fell back and eventually shot Ganghwan, who sat still in the room.
The scene started to turn dark, and subtitles floated up on the screen with the effect
of a submerged object emerging from the water; Pojang-macha.

“That’s a good start.”

“Of course it is. The start is the drama’s face. I felt like my head was cracking because
I couldn’t think of a suitable song, but then I thought of Deul-gukhwa’s songs. Their
lyrics[2] suit the drama as well. I thought there was nothing better.”

“You’re right, it suits the drama perfectly.”

The quiet background music as well as the faint sigh showed clearly the nature of
this drama. The people sitting on the other side of the screens started watching the
TV one by one. What is it? What’s going on? - it wasn’t that they were interested; it
was more that they were just watching it since it was on.
The title disappeared and the screen switched. This was the scene where Ganghwan
was eating by himself late in the morning. He took out some eggs from the
refrigerator and cooked some bean sprout soup.

“Look at his movements. You can see the finesse from having lived alone for a long
time. I’m sure the old ladies watching this must be thinking that he must have been
single for a long time,” Jayeon said.

Hearing that, Yuna chuckled.

“I hope I can use that skills for a fair lady as soon as possible,” Ganghwan
complained.

“Hyung, you’re destined to be single for life. Or you can marry acting.”

“It feels terrible hearing that from you.”

The four of them laughed before looking at the screen again.

After finishing his meal, Gangwhan sat at his desk. Tick, tock, tick, tock - the sound of
the second hand of the clock started becoming louder, and the number of
Ganghwan’s sighs increased in correspondence. He placed his hand on the keyboard
erasing everything, then he typed something before he deleted everything again -
this happened for quite a while until Ganghwan’s wide-open eyes entered the scene.

-I’m gonna die at this rate for sure.

Behind Ganghwan, who stood up from his chair in a slow fashion, the dark sky could
be seen. He, who had been sitting down in front of a computer for an entire day
without even getting washed, finally washed his hair and face before changing his
clothes. He left his house with a coolbox in each hand and headed to an old market in
his car.

“That looks much more gloomy than I thought it would.”

There was a scene where the outside scenery was shot from inside the car, and the
buildings in the marketplace were so spooky that they might as well be straight out
of a horror movie.

“We intentionally turned all the lights off and made it look as dark as possible so that
only the contours could be seen. Finding that place was the core of this drama.
Without that, this whole thing wouldn’t feel right,” Jayeon said.

The car, which was driving past a narrow alleyway relying on its headlights,
eventually came to a stop. The lights that shone on the gloomy streets were turned
off, and Ganghwan started walking in the darkness with the coolboxes in hand. Slosh,
slosh - just as the sounds of stepping on wet asphalt were quietly spread out, a dot of
light appeared on the screen.

The moment he saw that single street lamp that shone in the darkness, Maru
subconsciously smiled. Ganghwan started building the pojang-macha under the
street lamp which was the alpha and the omega of this drama. He unfolded the
various parts and put up the vinyl roofing. He finished building the exterior of the
pojang-macha in a short time before starting to prepare his food. Sounds that felt like
it should be coming from the kitchen could be heard in the middle of the dark street.
Yuna stood up slightly and looked around. Her eyes were filled with joy.

“Everyone’s looking at the TV.”

Hearing her words, Jayeon also stood up slightly. She made an embarrassed yet
proud expression and poured some beer into her glass until it was full.

“Usually, there’s bound to be a reaction as long as there’s sympathy.”

As Jayeon said those words with a sip of her beer, a middle-aged man appeared on
the TV. He was a middle-aged veteran actor who agreed to do a cameo appearance,
and he was well-known in morning dramas. Usually, he appeared as the chairman or
an executive of a super company, but today, he had become a tired salaryman,
whining in this pojang-macha.

-Gosh, I should quit that company while I still can.[3]

-Don’t say that and drink some of this. Today’s broth turned out really good.

-You should know that I’m not handing in my letter of resignation only because I can
come here. You know that, right? So you have to keep working for a long time. If this
place disappears, it means the end for me as well.

The middle-aged actor got a bowl of udon and ate some of it with his chopsticks. The
slurping of noodles - the sound that provoked appetite - blatantly spread out through
the speakers.

“Do you know what kind of pain I went through to get this sound effect from the
sound director?” Jayeon said with pride.

The middle-aged actor’s refreshing act of eating combined with the stomach-
provoking sound gave the drama a charm that enchanted the viewers to watch it in a
daze.

“Let’s order some noodles,” Maru said.

He had more appetite now. The nerves inside his brain that were handling primitive
desires were screaming at him to put some noodles in his mouth. He called a waiter
and ordered some budae-jjigae and some additional ramyun noodles.

“Excuse me.”

Someone from the next table over called out to the waiter just as he turned around.
Maru poked his head out slightly.

“Are there any noodles among the drinking snacks?”

“There are some jjigaes on the menu, and you can add ramyun noodles. You can also
order some udon noodles in oden soup.”

“Then please give us some oden soup and udon noodles.”

Yuna was also watching that scene, and she nodded with a satisfactory smile. She
looked like she had succeeded at winning a big contract.

The orders didn’t stop there. The customers that were watching the TV started
ordering noodles in many different forms. Just like how yawns were contagious, it
seemed people’s desire for noodles was also very infectious. It could be called a
miracle caused by the middle-aged actor finishing a bowl of udon with crude
movements.

The waiter disappeared with the order papers. A moment later, all the TVs installed
in the restaurant had their channels switched to YBS. The one holding the remotes
was the owner of this place, standing behind the counter. It seemed like he had
intuitively realized that this was his opportunity to get some sales.
People called out for waiters from everywhere. Sounds of noodles slurping could be
heard from three directions.

“There’s a comic called ‘Gourmet’, by the artist Heo Youngman, you know? Don’t you
think that would do really well if it got a drama adaptation?” Ganghwan said faintly.

“Hyung, that’s not how it works. The technique I used in that part is food porn. It’s
the effect of using sharp colors and stimulating sounds. I know that my drama can
look dry at times. That’s why I chose food to make people’s eyes stay. I mean, who in
the world hates eating? Eating scenes with different foods will appear in every
episode. Eating, life, and love. I was worried at first, but I think people will talk about
it if I look at their reactions. The start might be food, but at the end, it’ll be
remembered for the story. Just you watch.”

Jayeon sat upright. Maru looked at the waiters and waitresses busily walking around
handing food. Was this the power of the media as well? It was rather interesting that
a drama could make people cook some ramyun late at night.

The udon-eating scene ended quite a while ago, but the noodle-slurping sounds
could still be heard inside the restaurant. People focused on the TVs while drinking
and eating the food they just ordered, Maru being one of them. There were
similarities between the spicy jjigae and the drama protagonist, who hit a wall in life.
Spiciness was something that was hard to get used to at first, but there would be a
new world waiting after that hurdle was passed. As Maru knew what kind of happy
ending was waiting for the protagonist, he could enjoy the drama while eating the
food.

“Hey, it’s you two now.”

The pojang-macha scene ended, and the scene switched to a school.

Yuna watched the screen nervously with her hands clasped.

“Are you nervous?” Jayeon asked.

“Yes. What if I look strange?”

“If you look strange, that’s my fault for not editing properly, so don’t worry about it.”

After scanning the corridor, the camera showed the entirety of the classroom. Amidst
the students going home after school ended was Yuna, who had a stiff expression on
her face. The sunlight hit her cheeks and cast a long shadow on the desk. Her face,
submerged in the shadow, contained anguish that didn’t look like it belonged to a
high school student.

“Man, you made a lot of NGs when you did this.”

“I’m really sorry for what happened back then,” Yuna apologized to Jayeon.

That scene took them about 3 hours to shoot. The shoot unexpectedly dragged out
because the acting was hard: she had to dissolve her stifled mind into her dim eyes
and expression.

“I wasn’t there back then, but I heard that director Yoo was really harsh.”

Ganghwan pointed at the TV with his chin.

“Yuna even cried once,” Maru said as he recalled Yuna sniffing by herself by the
window in the corridor.

Jayeon’s will was that there was no compromising since this was her first
appearance, and Yuna became nervous due to the repeated shoots until she
eventually ended up crying.

“Yuna, you can swear at me. This unni was really greedy back then.”

“Not at all. In fact, I’m glad that it looks good as a result.”

The cold image that covered the cute face of Kim Yuna showed that she was
definitely not a half-assed actress. This had to be the result of Jayeon’s
determination.

“Oh, it’s seonbae,” Yuna said.

Unlike the deep impression that Yuna left behind, the ‘Park Haejoon’ that Maru
played had so little presence that he might be thought of as an extra if he wasn’t in
the center of the scene.

“Look at him dazing out. He’s so good at acting,” Jayeon said with a smile.
That day, the director only wanted one thing out of each actor. She wanted Yuna to be
as strong as possible, while Maru, had to be as faint as possible. Maru listened to her
requests fully. He opened his eyes faintly in order to hide his eyes that might give off
the impression of sharpness, and he even changed his lips somewhat to make him
look like a clumsy person.

“It’s very different from when you played that murderer. Your acting is really
amazing, seonbae.”

Hearing Yuna’s words, Maru scratched his eyebrows. Being told that in the face really
was rather embarrassing.

[1] This is a protest song, written in the 1960s, and became popular in the 1980s.
‘Sanoramyeon’ is a modified way/dialect of saying ‘salda-bomyeon’, meaning ‘In life’.
Meanwhile ‘Deul-gukhwa’, the band that sang a version in the 80s, means ‘wild
chrysanthemum flower’.

[2] Here’s a translation of the song. There are various versions of this song, and this
one is the version mentioned in the novel. (/ indicates phrase break)

V1. In life, you will eventually see a bright day / Even on gloomy days, does the sun
not rise when the night passes? / Being a blue youth is an advantage, so / (chorus
translated below)

V2. Even if you sleep in a leaking, cramped room / Is it not joyous with a fair lover? /
As long as there are nights you can whisper / (chorus translated below)

V3. (same as V1)

Chorus. Don’t act petty and open your chest wide / For the sun will rise tomorrow,
the sun will rise tomorrow.

[3] This was when, in Korea, having one job usually meant that you’d work for that
business until you retire (or the company goes out of business.). Nowadays, that kind
of awareness has mostly fallen apart, especially among the newer generations. This
was why ‘quitting a company’ usually meant bad news back then.
He had not been able to watch TV ever since he first shot something that would go
on public TV. Watching his own face on the TV was unexpectedly very embarrassing.
Even though he knew that he should be monitoring himself, he was overwhelmed
with embarrassment when he stood in front of the TV, as though people were
looking at him naked.

It took quite a lot of time for him to get adjusted to the embarrassment. His aim to fix
his mistakes erased his embarrassments. Showing others that he was terrible at
acting was something even more shameful than watching his own acts after all.

Maru calmly watched his own act. Erasing a person’s nature when acting might look
simple at first, but the lack of personality that Jayeon requested of him was a little
special, making it a little tricky to act out. A person who’s extremely normal yet also
someone who one couldn’t help but be attracted to - these were the words he heard
from Jayeon during the shoot. To him, that sounded similar to ‘a yellow apple’, or a
‘red banana’, or ‘chocolate that tastes like fish’.

After trial and error, he discussed the character with Jayeon and changed the
abstract concept into a few keywords. As this was her first work, Jayeon wanted to fit
in all the keywords she wanted, but she soon realized that it was a mistake on her
part and focused on removing them. In that process, the character became a lot
clearer.

-Yoon Jihae.

This was the first scene where he talked to the ‘Yoon Jihae’ that Yuna played. This cut
took an abnormally large number of cuts because of Yuna’s habit of smiling when she
met eyes with him. As a last resort, they started the shoot after Yuna pinched herself
on the thigh, and that managed to get an okay because her expression looked
unexpectedly decent.

“It really hurt back then, you know?” Yuna said with a chuckle.

She could only laugh now because it was something that happened in the past, but
back then, she kept sighing because she couldn’t control her emotions properly.
-What?

Yuna replied with a cold gaze. Her character looked stable. Putting too much effort
into acting would make it look off like they were wearing clothes that didn’t suit
them, but Yuna had none of that.

Yuna, who was watching TV from the other side, was half-dazed. Whether she felt
curious about her own figure on the screen, or she was just recalling the events that
happened back then, Maru did not know. However, her slightly curved lips expressed
her excitement.

“You guys had it easy. If you shot in a classroom, there must have been a heater. I
thought I was freezing to death because I kept shooting outside,” Ganghwan
grumbled, as his main stages were the cramped room and the pojang-macha.

The shoot started in October and lasted until early December when it started
snowing. As Ganghwan appeared in most of the outside scenes, he always had hot
packs with him. Even while saying that he was not in a good financial situation, he
always bought enough hot packs for everyone to use.

“I think if we combined the money you spent on all those hot packs, we might have
been able to put a couple more oil heaters in the scene.”

“Oh, those? I nagged the president for them. Where would I have the money?”

Maru imagined Junmin giving him the money with a bitter smile.

“How sweet.”

The two people on the screen looked at each other with the sunset through the
windows as the background. Maru liked that scene. This scene, where two people
who had nothing in common other than the fact that they were in the same class,
was something that seemed plausible yet not that common; a fantasy, so to speak.
Fantasy in the real world. Perhaps that was what Jayeon wanted.

“Honestly speaking, I didn’t have high hopes. But you two did really well,” Jayeon said
as she looked at the TV.

“Man, that disappoints me. I think I tried pretty hard too.”

When Ganghwan said that in a small voice, Jayeon glanced at him before speaking,

“Because you’re supposed to do well. Had you not done well, I would have showered
you with a barrage of cuss words.”

“Don’t call me to do a drama next time. Hey, I might as well put your number in my
spam folder.”

“Go ahead. I’ll visit your company and call you out myself.”

Ganghwan said that was no good and put down his phone, saying that he didn’t want
that. While the two exchanged jokes, the drama switched over to the kiss scene
between Byungjae and Mira. Maru thought that it was a rather bold editing decision
to switch over to a deep kiss scene between two lovers from a sweet romantic scene
between students.

“I should have played that role,” Ganghwan said.

Yuna looked at Ganghwan, her mouth slightly agape. Her eyes had widened as well.
Seeing her expression, Jayeon picked up the menu next to her and swung it at
Ganghwan.

“You are such a perv! Don’t say that in front of our pure Yuna. Yuna, block your ears.
You shouldn’t listen to words like that.”

“Is love something perverted? Is kissing perverted? I thought it was you who said
that the Korean drama scene should be more liberal like the western ones.”

“I’m talking about work, while you are just full of indecency. This is why people
should find a partner when they’re old enough so that they can gain some peace of
mind. Hyung, you are going to become a flasher at this rate. Do you want me to
introduce you to someone?”

“One of your friends? Oh please, I’m not going to put myself into hell. Also, I’m quite
popular, you know? There are people who recognize me in Daehak-ro and ask for an
autograph. Why are you looking down on me so much?”

“Like hell you do. Such a popular guy isn’t even dating and doesn’t have a partner for
marriage?”
“I would get married soon if I had the financial leisure, but I don’t have any money
saved up. There’s no way a woman would want to marry a poor actor, is there?”

Seeing the two quarrel, Maru drank some of his soda before quietly speaking,

“Since you’re at it, why don’t you two start going out? I’ve been watching you two,
and it doesn’t look like you two have zero feelings for each other. You’re at ease with
each other, get along well, and even look like friends. I think you two are perfect to
marry each other.”

He said that as a joke, but their reactions weren’t what he expected. Jayeon, who had
been shouting until now, had turned silent in an instant, while Ganghwan, who was
exaggerating his actions, clasped his hands quietly.

It turned quiet in an instant. Maru looked at the two people alternately before
scooping some food from the jjigae.

“If you two ever start a good relationship, buy me a suit.”

Hearing his words, the two people made stiff smiles. He thought he did enough; it
looked like things would go awry if he went any further.

“I also think the two of you really suit each other.”

Yuna threw a bomb in a nonchalant manner. Being caught up in the explosion, the
two people just poured some beer and started drinking. They looked like they
wouldn’t speak a word until alcohol got the better of them.

“You are pretty strong at times, you know that?”

“What?”

“Nah, forget I said anything.”

The deep kiss scene was over. The lovers, who were drinking beer and eating
dumplings in front of a convenience store, implied that they were an old couple to
the audience. Maru rested his chin on his palms as he looked at Mira and Byungjae
on the screen. He drank like that with Gaeul before they got married. When he had a
deep pocket, he would buy frozen chicken and boiled pork with snacks or ramyun
that was discounted. It was enjoyable to drink with her.
“Are they doing that kiss for real?” Yuna said those words after throwing a bomb at
Ganghwan and Jayeon.

Maru put his lips on the glass and quietly looked at Yuna. Those words probably
didn’t go through a filter in her brain. As proof, she was startled immediately after
saying those words as though a block of ice touched her back.

“No, wait, I didn’t mean to say that.”

“Why are you so surprised? Also, you saw how it looked. It was shot up close. If that
was fake, I have to say it’s a win for Korean CG.”

“R-right?”

“You know, you are quite perverted yourself.”

“Me? No, I’m not.”

“They say a strong rejection is an affirmation.”

“Seonbae!”

Yuna pouted when he teased her. Maru just laughed it over. He wanted to maintain a
good colleague relationship with Yuna. Although the future was uncertain, he felt like
Yuna would become well-known as an actress from how she was enthusiastic about
everything she did, and from how she tried to fix her mistakes. What Maru wanted
for her was to throw away the ‘once unrequited love’ title on him in her mind by
herself.

“They’re all having good reactions.”

Maru looked over Yuna’s shoulders. The customers at the next table over were
focusing on the drama. Other tables were the same. Ever since all three TVs started
airing ‘Pojang-macha’, the customers would focus on the drama even after chatting
for a while.

“I hope the viewing rates are good.”

“Me too.”
Anyone would want the work they appeared in to do well. He hoped that it would
receive good reviews, and beyond that, influence him positively. Maru faintly smiled
as he watched the drama.

***

She untied the towel around her head. She wrapped her still-wet hair with the towel
and squeezed it together. Ever since she heard that using a rough-textured towel to
shake off the water from her hair would damage her hair, she started using this
method. Once it dried a little, she would use an electric fan or the hairdryer in cold
mode. The things she didn’t think about much before had turned into things she
should be concerned about.

Gaeul took her hands off her hair and picked up the remote. She raised the volume
and focused on the screen. The school field could be seen, followed by the figures of
Maru and Yuna. This was the scene where they were walking towards the school
gates with an awkward distance between the two.

Yuna was being chased by time, while Maru was following her footsteps, and they
looked well-coordinated as though they had been practicing together for a long time.
The scene also looked much more vivid as though a different camera was used for
this scene.

Gaeul hugged her knees. The two of them looked so good together. She thought that
the two of them suited each other. She also had the desire of ‘what if I was in that
position instead?’

“Yuna’s pretty good.”

She looked different from when she was practicing at school. Yuna always lacked
something despite trying her best in everything she did, but in the drama, she
dissolved into the character so well that it was hard to find a flaw in her. There was
no need to mention Maru. From a roaring psychopath murderer to a completely
normal student, he showed a vast range of acting, yet he looked stable every time.

-You can also be like that.

Gaeul smiled when she heard the rabbit’s words from her heart. If it was before, she
would think ‘could I really?’, but it was different now. She could feel that she was
improving. Gyeonmi, who was always scolding her, was complimenting her instead,
so there was no need to doubt that. She was steadily heading towards her goal.

“Thanks for the help. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without you.”

The rabbit didn’t reply, seeming embarrassed from hearing such words. Only after a
long while, did she say ‘don’t thank me’ in a faint voice.

“Of course I should thank you.”

-There’s no need for that. Rather than that, why don’t you move around if you have
the time for this? Flexibility decreases at a frightening rate with age, you know?

“Alright. After I watch this.”

-You can see Maru’s face later whenever you want. Let’s focus on work for now, yeah?

The Maru on the screen was mumbling in front of Yuna. He was even good at looking
clumsy. Gaeul nodded once before turning off the TV.

-The two of them really suit each other, right?

“Yeah.”

-You know? Don’t you think they’re dating right now?

“What are you saying?”

-Nothing, just saying. That’s how love between kids goes.

Gaeul frowned. The rabbit no longer said anything after that. She looked at the TV
screen that had been turned off. She remembered Maru, who was smiling as he
looked at Yuna’s back figure.
Choi Haesoo nervously nibbled on her pen. Teeth marks could be seen on the blunt
end.

“You must be tired, right?” Park Hoon said, sitting on the other side.

“You must be even more tired since you just finished a shoot, producer. I’m fine.
Rather than that, this ‘Park Gwangsoo’ character, I think we should make him a little
more daring.”

“Park Gwangsoo, huh. Do you think that would be better?”

“It’s a romantic thriller. I think a supporting character can be a little more extreme.”

“For example?”

“This scene where he’s waiting for Chaeyeon in the alley. I think we should make him
a little more gloomy. Park Gwangsoo is a dandy character, right? We should give him
a little twist and show a little lunacy. For example, gifting a doll with a red thread
around the neck or a pair of dolls connected with handcuffs.”

“So you’re saying that Park Gwangsoo will appear all of a sudden with a smile on his
face and gift a strange doll, am I right?”

“Yes.”

“Sounds good.”

“Then I’ll try fixing that part up a little. What do you think of the other parts?”

After flipping through the pages, Park Hoon smiled, seemingly satisfied.

“It’s so good that it makes me wonder if this really is your first time writing a
scenario for a drama. There’s nothing for me to say.”

“Stop putting me on a pedestal and tell me if you don’t like any of the parts. This is
also my first attempt, so there are a lot of parts that I’m lacking. It really is different
from a novel. There are the directions to consider, and I have to consider that it’s
going to be adapted into a video.”

“That’s the hardest part. A writer I know of even decides how much time is allocated
to each scene. She writes every single cut with a specific duration in mind. That’s no
longer a script; it’s just an instruction manual.”

“I have a lot to learn.”

“You’re doing plenty well, so don’t worry too much. I’ll help you as much as possible.”

After saying those words, Park Hoon took out his phone.

“Please, give me a sec.”

His phone made a sound.

“What are you looking at?”

“The debut piece of a junior of mine is airing for the first time today. I wanted to
watch it from the beginning, but this meeting is more important.”

“Is it a drama?”

“Yes, she’s the first female producer of the YBS drama department. She’s so strong-
headed that even the seniors don’t want to go against her.”

“I’m not sure about the details, but I heard that it’s really hard to see female
producers in the drama department, am I right?”

“It is. Not to mention the work environment, there are many people among the staff
who are rough around the edges, so it’s hard to have everyone harmonize. But this
girl is literally a female general, so people follow her well. Even I have to watch two
episodes in advance to not get an earful from her.”

Haesoo raised her head slightly. She was slightly concerned by the title of ‘first
female producer in the drama department’. Park Hoon put the phone in the middle.

“It’s a late-night mini-series, and she used a pojang-macha as the subject. I’m not
sure if that’s a good idea or not, but she sounded pretty confident, so I should watch
at least.”

As she was looking at the phone, a familiar boy appeared. Haesoo said ‘excuse me’
and put her face closer to the screen. It was definitely Maru acting inside that small
screen.

“What is it?”

“I just saw someone I know.”

“Who?”

“Here, the one in a daze. He’s called Han Maru and…”

Just as she said up to those words, she was reminded of the drama that Park Hoon
was shooting.

“You know him, don’t you?”

“Of course, I see him every week. But how do you know him?”

“He’s on good terms with my daughter. That’s how I know him.”

“Really? That’s a coincidence. Do you remember how I told you there was a person I
want to use as a supporting character?”

She recalled the words Park Hoon said when they started fleshing out the drama. He
told her that there was a boy that could perfectly act out the character that she was
thinking of. Haesoo looked at Maru, who was acting inside the screen, and spoke,

“That was Maru?”

“Yes. There’s no one better than him around his age. His skills are one thing, but he
also has a really good atmosphere around him. He has good comprehension, and it’s
easy to get along with him when working with him. That was why I was planning to
cast him for this one.”

“I see. Were you planning on having him play the role of ‘Lee Minsung’?”
“That was the plan. What do you think, writer? I was originally going to talk to you
about the cast after we finished editing the scripts up to episode four, but since we’re
at it, I might as well ask.”

“Lee Minsung, huh. Lee Minsung.”

Lee Minsung was a college student with a twisted view of romantic relationships.
Haesoo thought about a prankster when she came up with Minsung. Someone who
was very popular thanks to his talents but was incredibly sharp when it came to his
views on love.

“Well, I actually wanted a more round image. So that the inner nature stands out
when it’s revealed.”

“Maru might look cold at first glance, but he’s someone who can do gentle acts as
long as you ask him to.”

“I know how well he does. I even wrote something after I watched Twilight Struggles.
What I want though, is not some light violence like that of a street thug; I want
something heavy - or even cruel - to the point that people who see him get stricken
with fear and wouldn’t be able to even think about resisting.”

Park Hoon opened his laptop.

“Have you watched a drama called ‘The Witness’?”

“I’ve heard about it.”

“Maru is in that drama as well. That drama is the reason I set my eyes on him.”

Park Hoon turned the laptop to the side and pressed enter to play the video. After
pressing some arrow keys to skip back and forth, he let go. A boy was sitting face to
face with the popular actress Ahn Joohyun in a room that looked like an
interrogation room.

It took around ten seconds for Haejoo to realize that the boy was Maru. He gave off
such a different impression. It was hard to come up with a relation to Maru after
seeing that sharp, nay, violent-looking, face. The Maru that showed her daughter a
gentle smile overlapped with the Maru in the video. They really didn’t look alike at
all.
A moment later, a violent act began. He began smashing his head against the metallic
table to the point that it made her worry that he might get injured. Ahn Joohyun
rushed to him and grabbed him by the hair. Maru screamed as his eyes rolled
backwards, struggling for life. No, rather than ‘screaming’, ‘roaring’ seemed to suit
him better. His eyes were bloodshot and were full of killing intent. It was such a cruel
scene that it made her hold her breath.

“What do you think?”

“I knew he was good, but I never guessed he could give off such a feeling.”

“I think that he will be able to digest a nonchalant act all the way to a violent
murderer. Just look at this drama. He looks nothing like the murderer I just showed
you. He looks like nothing but a clumsy student. Yet, he doesn’t look awkward. I think
that he’s a good actor whose image does not stick to him.”

Haesoo nodded. She just watched a tempting act. There was no reason to object.

“Looks like I should keep Maru in mind when I write the next episode. It’ll become
much easier to flesh out the character.”

“Sure, go ahead.”

“But you have to cast him, okay? It’ll be troublesome if he doesn’t end up joining us
even though I wrote something with him in mind.”

“Of course, I was about to talk him into it anyway. We got the main scenario, and the
script for the first two episodes, so it doesn’t matter even if we proceed with it now.”

“Since we’re at it, what are you planning to do about the other actors?”

“I wish to listen to your decisions as much as possible, but it’s quite difficult to use a
top-tier actor for a new writer’s drama. We have to think about the budget as well as
our circumstances. Well, if the scenario is good, you’d find actors who are willing to
get lower pay but honestly speaking, that’s quite rare.”

That was something she was expecting, so she wasn’t that disappointed. This was
her first-ever drama. It was the change of the novelist Choi Haejoo, who had been
living off of novels, essays, and magazine articles, to the drama writer Choi Haejoo. It
would instead be strange to expect a big investment in a little chickling like her. She
was planning to do her best within the environment she was given.

“I actually don’t know any actors, so I’ll leave you to do the casting, producer.”

“But you should still see the main actors. The thing about dramas is that it feels
different when it’s in script form and when it’s actually acted out.”

“Then please come up with a schedule and tell me about it later.”

“Yes. I’ll do that.”

Haejoo looked at the clock. It was 11:40. The meeting ended late at night once again.
This cafe, which was open until 1 a.m., had now become something like her secret
hideout.

“Thanks for your work today.”

“Don’t mention it. It’s you who’s doing the work, producer. It must be quite a hassle
to lead a beginner like me, isn’t it?”

“You’re doing plenty well, so don’t think like that. Also, we have a reliable ally. If it
comes down to it, we can always call for an SOS.”

A reliable ally. Haejoo thought about Lee Hanmi, who should be dazing out in front of
a monitor right now. She, a veteran scenario writer, helped her out a lot with
completing this scenario. She encountered much less hassle thanks to a junior who
was famous.

“Then I’ll see you next time. Please keep up the good work until then,” Park Hoon
said as he stood up.

“I’ll try my best.”

Haesoo also stood up with her bag.

***

She powered on her laptop as she listened to the drama’s ending song. She opened
an internet browser and entered a cafe that she usually visited. It was a cafe that
mainly talked about ladies’ fashion for people in their 20s. She moved the mouse
cursor and clicked on the free bulletin board.

-Did anyone watch the late-night drama that just ended?

As for the content, she only put a single dot. Five minutes after she posted that, there
were no comments to be seen. It seemed like no one had watched since late-night
YBS dramas weren’t that popular. She found it quite a pity. She wanted to chat about
the drama because she found it quite decent, but the internet was tranquil.

She refreshed the page a few times before browsing through the funny stories
section. She browsed for about 30 minutes and thought that she should go to sleep
when she found a red dot on her status bar. It was a notification that a comment was
added to her post. She quickly clicked on it. There was a comment at the bottom.

-I watched it too. I had nothing else to watch, and it turned out to be pretty decent.

She found a colleague. She quickly tapped away with her fingers. The vivid colors,
the food that made her drool, as well as the ordinary love story that she felt like she
could relate with. She added a comment that it was quite refreshing to see a drama
that talked about something more relatable than the Cinderella stories that usually
aired around this time.

The other person agreed with her. The two of them got along pretty well. She started
adding comments while fidgeting with her toes. Then, she found another person
commenting on her post. One person, then two, then three… more and more people
joined the conversation.

Some of them asked if that drama was really interesting. The woman typed without
hesitation: You must watch it.

The moment she noticed that other people were getting slow at posting their replies,
she realized that this was over. Usually, posts like this burn up for an incredibly short
time before cooling down. She clicked on the free bulletin board for one last time,
thinking that she should turn it off.

“What the, there’s quite a lot of people.”

The entire bulletin board was filled with people talking about that drama. Half of
them were talking about how they ordered some food while watching the drama,
while the other half said that they chuckled as it reminded them of their first love.
She looked at the clock. Although she had to sleep in order to go to work tomorrow,
she found it a pity to close the laptop now. She remembered the high school boy that
shyly confessed at the end of the first episode. A ticklish sensation made her want to
talk about it even more.

She decided to open a chat room. It was 12:20. 27 ladies without sleep started
chatting.
“When does the holiday start?”

“The 29th.”

“That’s still far away. This is so boring.”

“What can we do about it? There’s no choice.”

Bada looked at the calendar. The number 29 felt so distant. She wondered when she
could escape this classroom where even her breath turned white from the cold.
Although they did turn the heater on, that was only during class. The classroom in
the morning was practically a refrigerator.

“Bada, what are you going to do over the winter holidays?”

“Go traveling with my boyfriend.”

“Really?”

“I’m definitely going to go this time.”

“To where?”

“We’ll go skiing. I saved the money that I was going to use to buy our oppas’ album
for traveling. We’re going to decide on a date as soon as the holidays begin.”

“Good for you. I would go somewhere too if I had a boyfriend.”

Her friend sighed.

“Bada, Bada!”

Suddenly, another friend of hers opened the door and rushed over to her. A wave of
cold air rushed towards her. Bada grabbed that girl’s hand, asking if it was cold. She
was shaking slightly.
“What is it? Why are you in a rush?”

“Did you watch the drama yesterday?”

“Drama? What drama?”

“The one your brother appears in.”

“The one my brother appears in? New Semester is on Saturdays, isn’t it?”

“I’m not talking about that one. Didn’t you watch this one?”

Her friend opened her phone. Bada saw Maru, making a dazed expression inside that
fuzzy photo.

“Oh? That is him.”

“Right? I almost forgot to do my homework because I was watching this. It was really
fun.”

“Why didn’t I know about it?”

Bada took out her phone and texted her brother: Oppa, did you shoot a drama? A
reply came back quickly since he was just fooling around at home: Y. She didn’t
expect a lot from him, but wasn’t just a single letter ‘Y’ a little too simple?

“Then why didn’t you tell me about it, goddammit. What a funny guy.”

Bada imagined that Maru was yawning right now.

“Is it him?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Didn’t you know about it?”

“He doesn’t tell me stuff like this. He actually gets quite embarrassed. Anyway, how
was it? Let’s set aside the drama since you said it was good. How was my brother’s
acting?”
“Yesterday was the first episode, and he was just normal.”

Her friend looked around before pointing at a boy reading a comic book.

“He was just like that. You know, those ordinary people.”

“I guess that’s the kind of role he plays. Didn’t he look awkward?”

“Not at all. Also, there’s a girl he’s paired with, and she was a bit cute. I wanna pinch
her cheeks.”

“A pair? A girl then?”

Bada tapped on her lips. She thought about how he made a strange expression on the
bus during the day of the CSATs. She thought that he got into a fight with his
girlfriend. She stood up and went over to the computer installed at the teacher’s seat.
Her friends followed her.

“What’s the title?”

“Pojang-macha.”

She typed on the keyboard and searched the drama on the web. A short introduction
of the drama came up along with a poster. The viewing rate was 2.4%. She clicked on
the list of actors.

“It’s her, this one.”

Her friend pointed at the monitor. Kim Yuna; just as her friend said, the girl looked
quite cute. This seemed to be her debut piece as the only thing that came up when
she searched for her name was a politician with the same name.

“My brother appears as a couple with her in the drama?”

“Yeah. From the looks of it, I think he’s going to confess today and start going out
with her. They said it was only 4 episodes long, so it shouldn’t take that long.”

Bada looked at Yuna’s face before shaking her head. She was probably overthinking
when she thought that he fought with Gaeul-unni over this girl. She knew that her
brother wasn’t such a prick.
“Give me the mouse for a sec.”

Her friend placed her hand on the hand that was holding the mouse. She scrolled
down before clicking one of the search results which opened in a new window. There
was a short review along with some pictures from the drama.

“The drama looks like it’ll do well.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because of this cafe[1] I’m showing you. I use my sister’s account to browse it from
time to time. I can look up places that sell cosmetics at a cheap price. You see that
number up there? 400 thousand is the number of members here. The dramas that
get posted here as interesting usually do well. The drama that aired on KBS last time
didn’t do that well at first, but it spread around once someone here said that it was
really fun.”

“Really?”

Bada told her friend to show some comments. She logged in before opening the
comment section. There were about 100 comments, and they were all written during
the night. They were posted less than 10 minutes after the drama ended.

“A drama that makes you hungry? What does that mean?” Bada asked.

“You’ll see if you watch it. I was going crazy too. You know how I don’t eat ramyun
because I’m on a diet, right?”

“I know. You didn’t budge when we placed some ramyun in front of you as a test.”

“Yet I ended up cooking ramyun in the middle of the night yesterday.”

Bada became shocked and touched her friend on the cheeks. They definitely felt a
little swollen.

“Really? I thought you were never going to eat it.”

“But watching that made me go crazy. You know that cooking program I always
watch at six in the evening, right?”
“The thing you always watch on your phone before self-study classes after school?”

“Yeah. I can usually hold back even after watching that, but not this one. Just the
color of it is different. It’s an evil drama. I can feel their intention to feed the viewers
food.”

“What the, is this drama related to food? And cooking and stuff?”

“Well, no. For now… it’s a romance drama, I guess?”

“Your answer sounds kinda vague.”

“You’ll see when you watch. It’s kinda hard to explain in words.”

“Really?”

Bada said ‘hmm’ as she looked at the hundred-something comments.

***

“Senior, here, have some coffee.”

Park Hoon accepted the paper cup given to him by a junior producer.

“Did you watch Jayeon’s piece yesterday?”

“I joined halfway through. I had some work to do, so I didn’t watch it properly.”

“I’m sure she’ll ask you about it. Looks like you’re gonna get an earful today.”

“I was just wondering how to run away too.”

Just as he pressed the button for the elevator,

“The two of you! Wait!”

He saw Jayeon take off her ID card from her neck and run over. Park Hoon exchanged
gazes with his junior and kept smashing the elevator button. 2… 1… Along with a
clear ring, the door opened.
“Seonbae!”

He waved at Jayeon, who was scanning her ID card at the entry barrier before
pressing the ‘close’ button. He saw Jayeon panting as she approached them.

“She’s gonna get you anyway. If you’re gonna get beaten up, you might as well do it
early.”

“I’m going to run away until lunch at least. If that doesn’t work, I’ll just hide in the
president’s office.”

The elevator opened again. He turned around the corner as he sipped on the coffee
he was holding. At that moment, the door to the emergency staircase opened and
Jayeon ran out from it. She, with ragged hair, looked like she was out for blood.

“Senior, allow me to take my leave first.”

The junior ran away, telling him to pay back for the grace of the coffee. Park Hoon
approached Jayeon with twitching lips.

“Looks like you’re looking after your health these days, Jayeon. You’re even taking
the staircase. Stamina is definitely important in this work. Good job.”

“Stop the nonsense. Why did you run away from me?”

“Run away? Oh please. I pressed the ‘open’ button, but the doors closed by
themselves. Do you think I wanted to run away? If I did, I wouldn’t be here.”

“Do you mean that?”

“Of course. Here, have some morning coffee. You should calm down a little as well.”

Jayeon narrowed her eyes and accepted the cup.

“You should watch your eyes. Oh, and also, the drama looked pretty decent. You got
me enraptured throughout the whole thing.”

“Senior Park.”

“Yeah?”
“Did you even watch it? I can’t really believe you. I mean, you’re busy these days with
something, aren’t you? You can be honest with me. You didn’t watch it, did you?”

He couldn’t let that smile fool him. That was a trap; a trap that would make him
suffer for the rest of the day. He had to gloss over this to gain peace for the day.

“Of course I did! It’s your debut piece after all. I mean, everyone at the company must
have watched it. Also, there are all those things I taught you. I have the duty to check
them, don’t I? I watched everything from beginning to end, so stop suspecting me.”

He ignored the frosty eyes as much as possible as he kept walking. He had to be

careful if he didn’t want to get bitten by the bulldog.

“How was the opening?”

“It was good.”

“What about the text font? I had a hard time choosing one.”

“That was good too.”

“There’s nothing else you want to say to me?”

“I could feel Yoo Jayeon’s sense of aesthetics. It was pretty good, you know?”

Jayeon crumpled the paper cup in her hand. Park Hoon felt like the crushed cup was
his own body. It became even harder now to tell her that he only started watching
halfway through. As Jayeon’s eyes became sharper and sharper, a savior appeared.

“Chief!”

He waved his hand at the chief producer in delight and approached him. He finally
found a good excuse to escape from Jayeon’s clutches.

“Ah, yes. Hoon! Good morning.”

“Chief!”

“I said good morning!”

Park Hoon clearly saw that the chief producer’s eyes fell on Jayeon for a moment
before looking away. The chief producer was also running away from her.

“Senior Park.”

“Yeah?”

“How was the story?”

He couldn’t breathe anymore. Last night, his brain had mostly given up on working
after talking with writer Choi Haesoo. He only watched the drama intermittently
while talking about Maru, so there was no way the story remained inside his head.
Uhm, err, the thing is – he stalled for time while saying those words.

Just then, he saw the newest member running over with the viewing rate sheet. The
daily workflow of the drama department started with checking the viewing rate
sheet in front of the president’s room. Park Hoon hurriedly lifted his finger.

“Oh, your viewing rate sheet is out. You should check yours now.”

“Ah, right. I too now have concrete evidence.”

Jayeon clasped her hands and walked over to the sheet. Park Hoon sighed in relief.
Jayeon, who was checking the viewing rate sheet, quickly waved at him to come.

“What is it?”

“It’s 2.4%. This isn’t wrong, is it?”

“What? It’s 2.4%?”

Park Hoon exclaimed before taking a look at it himself. The viewing rate was on par
with when the YBS late-night series was a fixed show.

“That’s pretty good.”

“I was expecting more like 0.7%. Man, how many times more is that?”

“Wow, Yoo Jayeon. You’re on a roll.”

The producers of the department all came around and gave a word or two. Jayeon
took out her phone and took a photo.

“See? I told you I’d do it.”

Jayeon cheered. 2.4%. The producers of the dramas that aired during the golden
hours might snort at this number, but it was more than decent for a late-night drama,
especially one that had been halted for a long time and was only used as a filler.

“Watch today. I’ll make it past 3%.”

“Hey, hey. 3% is taking it a little too far. RBS, with their bigshot casts, can only
manage 4%.”

“They’ve fallen for mannerisms, haven’t they? People don’t like mini-series without a
sense of refreshingness. Just watch, I’ll prove that to you tonight.”

Jayeon seemed pretty confident. Park Hoon retreated after telling her that it was
going to do well. He was almost bitten by a fighting dog, but thankfully, luck was with
him today. As he was about to go to his seat in relief, Jayeon caught up to him.

“But seonbae, wasn’t the jump shot a little too long?”

“Hm?”

“I mean the jump shot in the latter half. I put about 15 seconds of it with some
background music, but now that I think about it, that might have been a little boring.
It might even be a little too abrupt. What did you think of it?”

Park Hoon sighed as he looked at Jayeon’s stubborn eyes. It seems like it was going to
be a painful day today.

[1] Basically an internet community/forum.

“Do you think 2.4% is a good result?”

Maru poured some of the broth into a paper cup and put it down in front of
Daemyung.

“It’s lower than the programs airing on the other channels in the same time slot. I
don’t think it’s something to be joyous about.”

“That’s such a pity. I enjoyed it a lot. Though, mom said she didn’t like it that much.”

“What did she say?”

“She said it was too bland. She likes provocative stories. Can I eat another one?”

“Sure, go ahead.”

Daemyung grabbed another skewer in joy.

The first episode aired without a hitch. The people at the bar yesterday all applauded
when they heard the drama’s ending song. Jayeon sighed in relief, perhaps because
she was nervous as the person in charge of the drama. After the drama ended, Jayeon
and Ganghwan, who originally looked like they were going to drink until they passed
out, finished their Friday with just two more bottles of beer. Jayeon had to go to
work, and Ganghwan had practice.

“What are you up to these days?”

Having received a question, Daemyung started chewing quickly. A fishcake skewer

disappeared into his stomach.

“I’m commuting to the library.”

“The library?”

“I’m going to study basic production skills. There were too many things I don’t know
yet. Also, I have to write a script as well, so I think I’m wracking my brain even more
than when I was at school.”

“You kept writing that.”

“Of course. We decided to shoot it in the Winter. There’s not long left. I think I can
finish it by next week at the earliest. I’ll show it to you once I’m done.”

“You sound confident.”

Daemyung rubbed under his nose and smiled.

“You bet.”

“Now that makes me nervous since you sound so confident. You didn’t write down
something I can’t do, did you? It has to be doable in real life, okay? Think about the
costs too.”

“Don’t worry about that. All I need is a single room. Maru, did you watch Shining?”

“You mean the film? I did when I was studying acting. Is the one you’re writing
similar to that?”

Daemyung nodded energetically.

“I said it before, but you played that murderer in The Witness, didn’t you? Both Sora
and I think that a psychopath’s image suits you a lot.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment for now.”

“It is a compliment. When Sora first said that we should write a script together, we
already had a genre in mind. Horror, mystery. Not the kind of horror like ghosts; it’s
the cruelty of humankind, as well as their violence. I wanted to create something
along those lines.”

“If it’s possible, I’d like you to add erotica into the genre.”

“E-erotica?”

Daemyung’s eyes looked up before coming down again.

“Sh-should I try?”

Maru pulled out another fish cake skewer and gave it to Daemyung.

“Forget it, just eat.”

“Maru, what are you up to these days? Is there an audition you’re getting ready for?”

“Nah. I only go out on weekends to shoot New Semester, and I’m mostly at home
otherwise. I’m running out of time watching the dramas and films I have to watch for
studying. Gosh, why are there so many things to watch?”

An actor’s way of studying was ultimately related to the trend of the era. After going
through all the so-called ‘classics’, they would have to watch the things that reflected
the current era. While learning the trends and the skills that were popular in the
current era, the actors would have to go back to the classics to add depth to their
acts. An actor was a kind of profession where one could not improve if they stayed in
one era.

“Being an actor isn’t easy, huh.”

“I mean, what is?”

“Right?”

The lady gave them a bowl full of soondae. It was quite a lot considering it was
supposed to be 1 person’s portion. Maybe she took a liking to Daemyung since he ate
so happily.

“When do the CSAT results come out?”

Daemyung flinched as he skewered a piece of steamed pig lung with a toothpick.

“On December 7th, so the day after tomorrow.”

“Didn’t you tell me that you did well? Why do you look so awful?”

“I think I will only barely make it since I compare my scores[1] to the results.”

“Even though it’s philosophy?”

“It was unexpectedly quite high.”

“What are you going to do if you don’t make it?”

Daemyung became gloomy in an instant. This feeble fella shook his head as though
he didn’t even want to imagine what life would be like if he didn’t make the cut, but
he still stuffed his mouth with food. If his obsession with food would only apply to
other areas as well, Daemyung would probably be able to return from the middle of a
jungle even if he didn’t have anything with him.

“I’m definitely not going to study for another year,” Daemyung said.

He was filled with resolve. If not for the bits of food around his mouth, he would have
looked pretty serious.

“You’re not going to go to college?”

“It’d be good if I can go, but I don’t want to waste a year.”

“Think about it carefully. It might be a year now, but that year may decide the next
five or ten years. People don’t sell their cows to send their children to college for
nothing. There are definitely cases where going to the ivory tower will change
people’s lives. I mean, college students have an especially large number of
opportunities they can take. There are things their departments provide them with,
and you will form connections with professors as well. There are many people
among writers and producers who have degrees in philosophy, so it will be much
easier to talk to them if you have one of your own.”

“You’re making me scared here. I was determined not to go if I didn’t make it.”

“I’m just telling you to think about it. It’d be great if you get admitted into the college
of your choice, but didn’t you just tell me that it was quite close? You should think
about it beforehand. Have you thought about lowering your goals?”

“Philosophy in Hanho university. That’s probably the lowest my parents would

allow.”

“Well, they gave you permission to go to such a department, so your parents will be
devastated if they found out that you were aiming for a lower college.”
Daemyung blew some wind over the broth to cool it.

“Maru, do you think college is absolutely necessary?”

“If you can go, you might as well do it. While the times treat college degrees more
and more like scrap paper, there are times when that scrap paper is something
required. Well, there are many people who say they are fine without a degree, but
many companies don’t even accept anyone who didn’t go to a 4-year curriculum
university. If you just look at the successful cases, anyone would be able to become
Bill Gates. Normally though, people have a higher chance of failing than succeeding,
don’t you think?”

“Then why did you give up?”

“Because I can go anytime I want, and it doesn’t really matter even if I don’t go. If I
was unsure, I would also have prepared for CSATs. But now, I feel pretty confident.
I’ve given up on it after calculating the benefits and losses, so I don’t have a problem.
If you are giving up on your own accord, it should be fine, but if you’re saying that
you want to go, but you just don’t want to waste another year, that sounds like you’re
running away from reality.”

“This reminds me of a career consultation session I had with a teacher.”

Daemyung’s shoulders drooped down.

“I want to go too, but there’s the affordability to think about. If I pass now, president
Lee Junmin will support me with tuition, but if I have to wait another year, that
would no longer be the case. My parents only allowed me to major in philosophy
because the tuition was free. If that doesn’t happen, getting admitted next year won’t
do any good either. Honestly, I know myself the most. I don’t have the confidence to
study hard while earning money for tuition. I don’t have that great of a concentration
skill.”

“So you want to go, right?”

“Of course I do. How many people don’t want to go to college? But I can’t be a kid
forever, can I? It’s not like the thing I’m trying to do is going to earn me money
immediately. That’s why I thought about it. If I don’t get admitted into the college of
my choice this time, I’m planning to work. I’ll save up for about three years and do
the things I want to do then. Oh, wait. I have to do my military service too. I guess it’ll
be better for me to work for two years and then go to the military?”

Daemyung laughed in vain. He put down the toothpick in his hand. The soondae
cooled down.

“Anyway, I had a great three years with you, so I have no regrets. Above all, I’m glad
that I met you, Maru. Without you, I would have sat in the corner of the classroom
like I did in middle school, right?”

“You were bound to change. Even without me, you would have done fine by yourself.
I just became a trigger of sorts.”

“That trigger is very important, though. Now that the CSATs are over, I feel like 3
years passed by in a flash. During our first year, it felt like time was never passing
when we stayed at school until 11 to practice, yet here we are, just before
graduation. Everyone is bound to go through the same process at one point, but I feel
rather awkward. I feel like it would’ve been better if I went to school for another
year.”

“Once you go to college and go to mixers, you will never think like that again.”

“How can I go to mixers when I have Jiyoon?”

“Usually, those who open their eyes to love late are usually the scariest. Just like you.”

“Not me.”

Maru smiled faintly as he looked at Daemyung, who tensed his eyes. He had seen a
few couples that started dating in high school and went all the way to marriage.
Those people broke up 9 out of 10 times, but the ones that continued to have a good
relationship until the end usually had a happy marriage. Although they would have
fewer expectations for marriage because they would have seen everything about
each other already, there would be just as little disappointment, making it possible to
have a stable married life.

“Yeah, get married, alright. Get married and have a child that looks just like you.”

“I hope that happens.”

“I’m scared that you aren’t denying it.”

Maru dipped some soondae in some salt and then put it in his mouth.

“Even if you don’t make it, you should study and take the tests in a year if you have
any intentions of going to college. I’ll pay for your tuition. Usually, trying to save up
to do something later in life doesn’t do any good. Do you think people don’t want to
do that? People think ‘I’ll do this after working for a few years’ all the time, but they
end up becoming managers in their companies. Usually, once you start postponing
your dreams, you’re bound to keep postponing them. Dreams are the most
insignificant things after all. Your priorities will be delayed without end.”

Daemyung coughed dryly while eating.

“Y-you’re saying you’ll pay for my tuition? What do you mean?”

“It’s just as I said. I want to invest in you. If you get admitted this time, you get the
president to pay for it, and if you don’t make it, you should study a year or two more
and go to the college you want. I’ll pay for everything. But if you go to college and get
a scholarship, half of it is mine.”

“I can’t do that. How could I possibly do that?”

“Why not? I’m willing.”

“College isn’t cheap.”

“I said it’s an investment. I personally think that the brand of Park Daemyung has a
bright future. Even if I consider the opportunity costs and the money I would end up
investing, I don’t think it’s a loss for me.”

“Are you serious?”

“Do you want me to write official documents for you?”

Maru put down the toothpick and shook his hand.

“Try. I thought you wanted to go to college. I thought you have something you want
to do. Try them all out. Don’t worry about the money. If necessary, I’ll go meet your
parents and explain everything.”

Maru took out some money from his wallet and handed it to the owner lady.
“If you’re done eating, let’s go. Dowook and Dojin are waiting in the PC-bang.”

He left the pojang-macha first and started walking. Daemyung followed suit.

“This entire conversation is pointless if you get admitted, so don’t think too deeply.”

“I’m a little dazed right now. There’s no way you’re saying that as a joke, but that
means that you’re serious, so it makes me wonder why you are going so far.”

“I’m not saying that I’m going to take responsibility for your life. It’s just college. I
can take care of that much with the money I have.”

“What if I fail the next year’s exams? You’d just be wasting money.”

“So are you going to fail?”

“No!”

“Then I don’t see a problem.”

Maru shrugged. A few dozen million won. It was definitely not a small amount of
money. Heck, it might decide the life and death of someone. If Daemyung was
someone who was all talk and did not put in the effort, he would not have proposed
such a thing. He had the will to study and had a high probability of success. That was
why he reached out to him. When he said that he believed in the brand of Park
Daemyung, he wasn’t lying. Maru had a premonition when he read the novel that
Daemyung wrote. This fellow had the talent to write good stories. Although he said
he wanted to be a producer, even if he didn’t go down that specific route, he looked
like he had the potential to become a good novelist or a drama writer. That was
obvious from the fact that writer Lee Hanmi, who everyone from the TV stations
wanted to take, looked out so much for him. There were writers Ahn Pilhyun, Bae
Chulho, and Gwak Joon as well. They all talked about how Daemyung had talent.

He wanted to make a bet. He was willing to gamble on the stock known as Park
Daemyung.

“If you become successful, write something and give it to me. You know, right? This is
all for my sake.”

“Maru…”
“Well, think about it when the results are out first. This is all meaningless if you get
admitted.”

Maru slapped Daemyung’s back.

[1] The CSAT results are announced at a certain time, but examinees are allowed to
take a ‘card’ with them after the exam where they put their answers on. (Remember,
it’s multiple choice, so it’s not that hard to mark) The answer sheets are usually
posted on the internet hours after the tests, so they can check their scores early.
“Thank you for the interview. I had an easy time because you were so good at
talking.”

“No, the interview was easy thanks to your fluent words, journalist Kim.”

“I’m glad that’s was the case. Oh, I heard that you’re starting another film soon.”

“I just signed the contract two days ago. News sure does travel fast.”

“Well, I come across a lot of gossip. Someone of your caliber, actor Choi, will always
be on my radar. Who knows? Maybe you’re going to be a character in a 10 million
seller again.”

“I’m only a support character; how much influence could I possibly have? It’s thanks
to the other actors that it was possible.”

“But I still hear rumors in Chungmuro that casting you guarantees at least 5 million
views. You’re a guaranteed check in the support actor industry, apparently. Anyway, I
hope you do well in this one too.”

“Will I be able to meet you again if I do well?”

“For me, I’ll go wherever and whenever you call me, so call me when you have time.”

Kim Dongwook asked for a handshake first. Actor Choi slightly shook his hands
before standing up. See you next time - actor Choi left after leaving those words.

Dongwook sat down and organized the contents of the interview. He played back the
voice recorder and transcribed it into his notes. There were many actors who
refused interviews with voice recorders these days, but this middle-aged actor
accepted it with a smile. He seemed pretty confident, as expected of an actor known
for his good deeds.

“I guess that’s about done.”

After clearing up his interview notes, he opened his laptop. Due to the nature of
interviews, the impression he had during the interview would often become faint
with time, so he wrote up the interview article on the spot if it was possible. He
would probably go home and fix a few mistakes, but the majority would be
completed here.

He ordered another cup of coffee. As the cup of coffee started to show its bottom and
his fingers started feeling heavy, Dongwook took his hands off the laptop. He looked
at the title ‘The Hidden Guarantee’ before nodding. This was enough. He could finish
it up at home.

He rotated his right wrist round and round because it was sore as he took out his
phone from his pocket with his left hand. After seeing that there were no texts, he
checked the schedule. It was time to write that.

Dongwook opened up a document file. It was an article that was uploaded on the
internet not too long ago. It was rather bland as an article, so it had a low view count
and wasn’t even monetized. Usually, he wouldn’t give a second glance at such an
article. Young film-people who have made the Seoul Youth Film Festival shine - that
was the title.

He put his hand on his trackpad and opened up a new document to the side. He also
opened up some email attachments he got in the morning. It was the data about the
mini-series drama on YBS, ‘Pojang-macha’, as well as community reactions.

“It has an especially good review from people in their 20s.”

People in their twenties, especially the ladies, had a big reaction. The fact that it was
ladies in their 20s and 30s, who were loved by advertisers, was great news.
Dongwook also watched Pojang-macha. He watched it in a comfortable position on
the sofa after taking a shower, but he could only remember the opening and the
ending. He ended up dozing off midway.

The large communities where men made up the majority didn’t mention the drama
that much. The cafes where young people were active sometimes mentioned the
drama along with the word ‘fresh’, but it didn’t become much of a topic in the upper
age group communities, like car clubs and hiking clubs. Although it was mentioned
from time to time, the majority of the opinion was negative, like boring or ordinary.
If he wrote down what he felt in his article, it would probably be something along the
lines of ‘extremely ordinary pojang-macha’, but since he was being paid to write,
there was a need for him to add some spices.

Dongwook’s eyes moved. He scanned his materials and old articles before fixing his
eyes on the new document. He clenched his fist hard enough that he could hear a
cracking sound before putting his hands on the keyboard.

“Pojang-macha, the drama that stimulated the hearts of women.”

President Lee Junmin told him to watch out for some things while writing articles.
One, a provoking, stimulating title was no good. Two, write based on facts. These
‘facts’ that the president spoke of were usually materials sent to him by the company.
The community response data was also included. Dongwook knew that there was a
shady truth behind these ‘facts’. The Youth Film Festival article he wrote before also
had a truth that could not be revealed to the public. The revealed fact was that the
judges agreed to give Maru and his school the prize, and the truth that three of the
six judges were related to JA was something that could not be revealed. The
president asked him to write facts that would hide the truth, and Dongwook
accepted that. The compensation was an office-tel and a much higher salary. His
cheap journalism was sold at an expensive price.

He wrote about half of the article and started putting line breaks. He read it out loud
in a small voice before reading it in a small voice again. He checked if it was fluid
when reading from the first sentence to the last before stretching his arms out.

“Well, that should do.”

He wrote some things about Maru while introducing the drama. The paragraph that
began with ‘the boy that won the Youth Film Festival that occurred last month’,
would now be read by people who have searched the word ‘pojang-macha’.

As he was a young actor who had to build up his foundation, the president looked
like he was in no hurry. He was probably aiming for a steady build up of image rather
than a strong punch from the beginning. As for the article about Yang Ganghwan, he
had already finished it and sent it to the company. Once the president read through it
and gave it the okay, it would be distributed through various channels, and the
internet news agencies that received money from JA would copy the article and edit
it a little before redistributing the article. In two days, an article of unknown origins
about an actor would be scattered throughout the various corners of the internet.

Just as he turned off his laptop and was about to stand up, his phone started ringing.
The ringtone was the same for every one of his contacts, but that bell sounded
ominous to him for some reason. Dongwook narrowed one eye and opened the
phone. Choi Miyeon, Sharon. That was a call he didn’t want to pick up. He knew what
this foolish junior was going to say without having to think about it. Journalism,
which he had sold for cheap, was something she still possessed.

After he kept staring at it for a long time, the bell stopped. Did she tire herself out? -
he wondered as he stood up with a sigh.

“You should pick up your call, shouldn’t you?”

Choi Miyeon was right in front of him. Dongwook flinched. He almost dropped his
expensive laptop.

“Why are you here?”

“This is a famous cafe isn’t it? It’s where a lot of interviews happen.”

“Huh? I didn’t know that.”

“That’s not what’s important. What is, is Lee Hyuk.”

“I’m having none of this.”

Dongwook blocked his ears. For the past year, he had helped Miyeon out. He pitied
the junior who wanted to walk into a pit of lava covered in fuel, so he reached out to
her, but that only lasted until October.

“Why don’t you give up now? If you can’t find out after all that effort, it’s heaven’s
decree telling you not to dig further into it. Or maybe, it never happened in the first
place. You were chasing nothing.”

“How can you say it’s nothing after seeing all that evidence?”

“Let’s be straight here. It’s not ‘all that evidence’, it’s very little. You should be
ashamed.”
Dongwook tried to stand up with his laptop in hand.

“I see a tail now.”

“Miyeon.”

“I mean it.”

“Choi Miyeon. That tail is in the end, a lizard’s tail. If you grab it, it’ll fall off. You
should start looking into articles that suit your magazine. It’s been a year, no wait,
it’s been two years already, hasn’t it? You did enough. Unless you want the Journalist
Award or something, you should stop here. You need to make a living, don’t you?
Aren’t you past 30? You should think about marriage.”

He wondered how he should convince this stubborn junior. Miyeon’s persistence was
incredible. Ever since she became a blind believer of Capaism, this junior kept
digging into Lee Miyoon without resting like she was something like a perpetual
motion machine. What started it off was an actress’ unjust framing. Miyeon felt
sympathy for that person and kept chasing down the culprits in secret in order to
find out the truth. She spent the past 2 years like that. Dongwook did not know
whether what moved her was a sense of justice, the public good, or journalism. How
she was able to give up her reality for the sake of her dogma was beyond his
comprehension.

“I did it for 2 years, so I might as well do another. Middle school lasts 3 years and
high school also lasts 3 years, don’t they?”

“What kind of nonsensical logic is that?”

“We’re not in a field where logic plays a role, you know?”

Dongwook clutched his hair.

“So what? What did Lee Hyuk do? Before that, we are talking about the actor Lee
Hyuk, right?”

“Yes, the actor Lee Hyuk.”

“Weren’t you digging Lee Miyoon?”

“She leaks absolutely nothing. There are only rumors about her and nothing
concrete. I think she’s been cautious ever since The Five became an issue. I tailed her
for about a week three months ago, but I got nothing from her.”

“You tailed her? Why don’t you switch your job to a private detective instead? You
know, those people who take photos of husbands who are cheating on their wives.”

“I actually looked into that, but there’s the possibility of backlash there, so I stopped.”

“You, girl, stop at nothing, don’t you? Did you not contact me for a while because you
were doing those things?”

“If I want to catch people who mock the law, I should avoid the law too. I didn’t break
any laws though, I promise.”

“Good for you. I should have stopped you back then in that pojang-macha. My
deepest regret in life is agreeing to help you. Gosh, I was crazy back then.”

“You can’t take back what you already started. Anyway, back to Lee Hyuk.”

“Fine, let’s hear it. What about him?”

“I was digging into Lee Miyoon, and I found out something interesting.”

“What is it?”

“Rich young masters partying with ladies.”

“That’s really something for the social department to handle. Since you quit the TV
station and entered a magazine company, you should learn how to take care.”

“Have you ever seen public TV attacking chaebols? It’s the ones that decide to attack
them that leave.”

“That for political journalists, while you’re a women’s magazine journalist.”

“Still, I’m a journalist.”

He couldn’t get through to this junior of his. Dongwook took out a cigarette from his
pocket and put it in his mouth before frowning when he was reminded of the fact
that they were inside a cafe. He snapped the cigarette in half and wrapped it in some
napkins.

“So what? Rich young masters are partying. How’s that a problem? Did they do drugs
or something?”

“Who knows? They might have.”

“That sounds like the most useless thing I’ve heard. So, what did you actually find
out? Did Lee Hyuk play with the ladies along with those rich young masters? And
that’s somehow related to Lee Miyoon?”

“No, there was nothing like that. From what I’ve looked into until now, Lee Miyoon
and Lee Hyuk don’t have any relations. There might be a connection, though, and it
might be that I just don’t know anything about it.”

“Then what? Where does Lee Hyuk appear in all this?”

“Where does Lee Hyuk belong to now?”

“Soul, of course.”

“Do you remember that Soul’s president, Hong Janghae, had a behind-the-curtains
deal with Lee Miyoon when he brought The Five?”

“That’s just an assumption though. Do you have any evidence? You don’t, do you?
Then that’s just gossip.”

“But it’s true, circumstantially.”

“You should know that circumstantial evidence means nothing.”

“Alright. Then I’ll only talk about the facts now. Lee Hyuk entered Soul, who might or
might not have done a shady deal. Although he was kinda part of nowhere since his
contract with JA didn’t go through, he wasn’t someone who would enter a new
company, especially not under Hong Janghae, who never worked in the
entertainment industry before.”

“Maybe the contract terms were good.”

“You know who Soul’s parent company is, right?”

“Who doesn’t? It’s YM, isn’t it?”

“Do you know who the grandson of the leader of YM is?”

“Why would I? I don’t see the need to know since I’m not related to such a person.”

“Kang Giwoo.”

“Kang Giwoo?”

“You know that there’s a big disaster movie that’s starting soon, right?”

Dongwook probed his memories.

“Ah, right. Kang Giwoo. I finally remember him. You’re talking about the kid who
plays the lead male in New Semester, right?”

“Yes.”

“He’s the grandson of YM’s chairman?”

“That’s right. Also, that boy’s relationship with Lee Hyuk is kinda interesting.”

“What is it?”

“Master-slave relationship.”

“What?”

“What I discovered is not the relationship between Lee Miyoon and Lee Hyuk; I
discovered the relationship between Lee Hyuk and Kang Giwoo. Furthermore, one of
the women partying with Kang Giwoo is related to Lee Miyoon.”

“So you’re basing things on gossip again.”

“I can be sure of my source.”

“Your source is a rotten one.”

“If I dig into Kang Giwoo and Lee Hyuk and get in touch with that woman, who’s the
source of the money, I might be able to grab Lee Miyoon’s tail. That would explain the
reason why she can sweep something as big as sexual service under the rug.”

“So YM is behind all this? The chairman’s grandson and perhaps Lee Miyoon herself
is mixed in this?”

“Hong Janghae might be the core. You’ve seen what he’s like. He’s like a snake.”

Dongwook smiled and put his laptop inside his bag. He then took out a 10,000 won
note from his wallet and handed it to Miyeon.

“Seonbae?”

“Okay, that’s enough. I’ll pretend I never heard it. I’m already not sure about digging
into Lee Miyoon the individual, but now you’re also bringing YM into this? I have
enough money to buy a house now. Life is long. I don’t want to suck on my thumb for
my entire life.”

“But you should bring justice!”

“Give it to a dog for all I care.”

“Where’s your journalism?”

“Outside Earth’s atmosphere.”

“What about the things you said in the pojang-macha that day?”

“I’ve long since sold my soul.”

“Senior!”

“Stop calling me. I’m really not going to do it this time. Absolutely not.”

Dongwook shook his head and left.

“Look here and here. There are a lot of articles, aren’t there?”

Bada was boasting as though it was her own achievement. Maru took the mouse
from her. He moved around the cursor and clicked on the next page. More than half
of the cafe articles related to the search term ‘pojang-macha’ were related to the
drama. There was a mix of compliments and disappointments, but what was
important was that the drama was being talked about. Negative interest was still
better than no interest. It was the viewing rate of the drama that decided a drama’s
value after all. If it becomes an issue, the number of people watching it would
increase, resulting in an increase in viewing rates. Whether the drama was
artistically worth any value was something that was going to be evaluated later.

“Did a lot of your friends watch the second episode?”

“Well, my close friends have watched it at least. Do you know how much I talked
about it? If you had just told me about it beforehand, the first episode would have
gotten a higher viewing rate too.”

“Fine, I’ll tell you from now on. So then, most of your class has watched it?”

“No, most of the girls did, but a lot of the boys didn’t watch it saying that the first
episode was boring. The ones who enjoyed the first episode watched the second
episode. The boys in my class lack too much emotion to understand the emotions of
the drama. That’s probably why they didn’t watch it.”

“You even know whether they lack emotion or not?”

“I mean, seeing them is enough. I had a look at the comic books they were reading,
and they were terrible. They fight during a soccer match, they fight at school, they
fight everywhere. Even though they can’t fight, they really like fighting comics.”

Bada, whose nose was twitching, placed her hands on her keyboard as though she
remembered something. The search term was short: Han Maru. She pressed enter
and the website listed a bunch of cafes.
“Look at this.”

Bada’s finger pointed at the monitor. At the end of her finger was a link that led to
‘Han Maru fan cafe’. Maru chuckled.

“Did you make it?”

“Are you crazy? I don’t have time for stuff like this. Anyway, yo, Han Maru, you even
got a fan cafe now, huh? Maybe you’re going to become a star at this rate.”

Maru clicked on the cafe. There were photos on the main banner of the front page. It
was a couple of screenshots from ‘The Witness’ and ‘Pojang-macha’ put next to each
other. It was just two pictures of different resolutions stuck side to side. Overlapping
in the middle were the words ‘Han Maru Fan Cafe’ written in yellow.

“Heck, I can do better than this. They should have created it better. It looks like an
elementary schooler did it,” Bada said as she looked at the screen.

“I appreciate the effort. But hey, this feels rather interesting. There are people who
recognize me, huh.”

“Look at how many members there are.”

“There’s five.”

“One of them is me, so that makes 4.”

“You signed up for it?”

“I did. I was curious what they had in mind when creating something like this. But
there wasn’t anything much. I think it was just created.”

“So it’s a cafe that’s bound to be abandoned soon.”

“Why don’t you write a greeting since you’re here? It’s your fan cafe.”

“There’s no one to see it though.”

“Still, you should do it.”

“Nah, it’s a bother.”

“Hey, Han Maru. Don’t you have to communicate with your fans if you’re an actor? It
might be crude, but they still made you a fan cafe. These four must be your fans.”

Bada urged him to write. Maru turned around to look at Bada’s expression. If he
looked into her eyes, he might be able to read what she was thinking, but Maru just
sighed and looked at the screen. It was a power he gained as compensation for his
cursed life. He didn’t know what would happen if he used it on other people
recklessly. He might end up falling into the repeated cycles of life again. He decided
to look into the minds of those that were worth it.

“I’ll post a greeting at least.”

Maru logged in before trying to post something on the cafe. When he clicked the
‘new post’ button, he was greeted by a message that said he didn’t have access.

“You should sign up for the cafe.”

“So I have to sign up for Han Maru’s fan cafe despite being Han Maru, huh.”

“Stop whining and just write it already.”

He clicked on the ‘sign up’ button. As for his nickname in the cafe, he went with Han
Maru. Unlike the crude-looking main page, the sign-up process was very picky. He
had to write the titles of the dramas the two photos on the main banner were from,
and he had to write the name of the character he played in New Semester.

“How can people sign up like this?”

“If they’re Han Maru’s fans, they should put in the effort of looking them up.”

After signing up, he left behind a post on the main page: Hello, I’m Han Maru. He put
that as the title before saying ‘thank you’ in the content.

“That’s it?” Bada said, seemingly dissatisfied.

Maru took his hands off the keyboard and looked at Bada. From the way she was
speaking, it looked like she wasn’t completely uninvolved in the making.
“Do you know the person who made this cafe?”

“No.”

Bada’s eyes looked at 1 o’clock before coming down again. Her upper lip twitched.
This was a habit Bada had when she lied. Though, she herself didn’t seem to realize
it.

“Anyway, put some more effort into it. They’re your fans.”

“I get it, so go thank the creator of the cafe for me.”

“I said I don’t know her.”

“Her? So it’s someone close? Maybe someone from your class?”

As soon as he probed her out, Bada sealed her lips and left the room. Maru wondered
when she was going to fix her personality of escaping when she couldn’t say
anything. She would probably slap Dowook in the face with a ‘You don’t know
anything about me, oppa!’ before coming back home. Maru sent a text to Dowook.

-You have it hard.

As expected of a new cafe, the posts weren’t categorized besides the announcement
that was at the top. He clicked on it and had a look at it.

-This is a cafe to cheer for the actor Han Maru. Please get along.

He laughed. It looked just like an announcement for a cafe that was made on a whim.
He wondered how long this would last. He thought that lasting a month would be
considered a long time.

“But still, I’m thankful that people are recognizing me now.”

There was something that was heard frequently during interviews with actors: It’s
all thanks to the encouragement from the fans. It might be something that they
habitually talked about, but even to such actors, the first meeting with their fans
must have been filled with excitement. It was a miracle to see people unconditionally
like someone after all.
Just as he was about to close the window, Maru put a comment under the main
announcement. Although large-scale cafes blocked normal users from putting
comments in the announcements, the owner of this cafe clearly seemed
inexperienced and forgot to do such a thing. He also clicked the announcement
noticeboard just in case, and it turned out that normal members could write on it as
well.

-Thank you. I will do my best in the future as well. Also, I don’t think it’s a good idea
to leave the announcement noticeboard open. If you see this, please lock it.

He left that comment before closing the window. He turned off the PC before lying
down on his bed with a book. It was an ordinary weekday afternoon, and he didn’t
have a shoot. It was the perfect time to read a book.

***

“Did you see that? He left a post. Yes, I told him about it. But you’re quite weird. What
do you like so much about Han Maru that you even created a cafe for him? Do you
want me to let you meet him? I think it should be fine if it’s just a greeting. What? You
don’t? Why?”

Bada hung up after listening to her classmate’s words until the end.

“Being too close would decrease that mystery. I guess she’s right.”

Her friend said that there was a lot to enjoy precisely because there was a sense of
distance. She said that meeting him would be best left for later since becoming close
to him would increase the familiarity and decrease the interest. When Bada asked
when she wanted to meet him, she said the official fan meetup. An official fan
meetup. Bada wondered if such a day would even come. No matter how she thought
about it, she couldn’t imagine it. Han Maru, an official fan meetup?

Bada buried her face in a pillow and laughed. When she imagined it, she couldn’t
help but laugh. If there ever came a day he did a fan meetup, she decided to laugh at
him from the front lines.

After laughing for a while, she thought about what her friend said. The things she
said before they hung up were things that Bada sympathized with: I like the feeling
that he’s an actor only I know of. Bada also liked TTO when they just made their
debut and weren’t that popular. She felt like she was hogging a jewel to herself, and
when her friends first found out about TTO, she even felt proud. She felt a little
disappointed and dissatisfied seeing girls crying out ‘oppa’ when they were all
looking down on them before, but she also felt happy that a star she liked was
gaining popularity.

Bada imagined getting to know TTO in person. Indeed, she would definitely be
extremely happy at first, but she would soon realize that a star on TV was definitely
different in their private lives. Perhaps her friend’s attitude of appreciating a star
from a distance was the right attitude for a fan.

She threw her pillow to the side and turned on the PC. She quickly browsed around
and entered the cafe that her friend created. Her brother also left behind a comment
under the main announcement.

“It’s really crudely made. Well, it’s not that surprising since she doesn’t know
anything about running cafes.”

After staring at the monitor for a while, Bada pressed the ‘new post’ button. Since
there was a cafe and all, she felt like her friend would be disappointed if all there was
was a greeting from her brother. She looked for some photos of her brother in a play
on her PC and uploaded them. They were photos that Gaeul-unni had sent her
before.

-Actor Han Maru is a great playactor too.

After writing that, she felt like it was a title that gave her the shivers, but she
clenched her teeth and put her cursor on the main content. Just as she was about to
write the first letter, she got a call from Dowook.

***

Kang Dowook put down his phone and laughed.

“There are a lot of crazy people in the world. A Han Maru fan club?”

He had a headache as soon as he saw the two photos crudely joined together and the
words ‘Han Maru fan cafe’ in the middle. So Maru had also seen this, huh. From what
he knew of Maru, he probably wanted to ignore it but was then nagged by Bada to
write something. Just as he had expected, he saw a post from Maru as well. He had
written a greeting that looked like it was from an official document or something.
“You should be acting cute at a time like this.”

He clicked his tongue. Just as he was about to close the window, the rather empty-
looking noticeboard caught his eyes. Dowook sighed and clicked on the ‘new post’
button. Maru might be a cold-minded guy, but he might be disappointed if there
wasn’t a single post in his own fan cafe. Or maybe even embarrassed.

Just as he was browsing through the photos on his computer, he heard a knock on his
door. There was only one person in his house that knocked on his door.

“Noona? What is it?”

“I was going to tell you to eat some fruits. What are you doing?”

“Nothing.”

Soojin entered with a bowl of fruit. Dowook smiled awkwardly. While the
misunderstanding he had towards her had dissolved completely, he still didn’t know
what to say to her when they met face to face.

Just as she was about to leave after putting down the bowl, she looked at the
monitor.

“Han Maru fan cafe?”

“It’s nothing.”

He tried to close the window in a hurry, but his sister prevented him.

“Maru had a fan cafe?”

“It was just made, apparently.”

“Really?”

“There’s nothing in it. It’s not like that guy’s even famous. That was why I was going
to post something on it, no wait, that’s not it.”

“You’re kind, Dowook. You know how to look out for your friends.”
Dowook was about to deny it, but he shut his mouth seeing his sister smile faintly.

“What’s the URL for this place?”

“You just have to type Han Maru in the search bar.”

“Looks like I must join as well.”

“Don’t bother. I think it’s going to disappear soon.”

“You never know. Also, there’s something I want to write down as well. Oh, I should
tell this to my daycare kids.”

“Daycare?”

“The place Maru went with me to do doll plays when he was in his first year. He still
comes around from time to time these days. I’m sure they’ll love it if I tell them about
it. They really like Maru after all.”

“That dude was still doing that?”

“Maru is the type to take responsibility until the end.”

His sister pushed the fruit bowl over to his side to urge him to eat before leaving.
Dowook looked at the fork that had a cute cat character on it and chuckled.

***

“A Han Maru fan cafe?”

Dojin laughed. Iseul, who was next to him, looked at him in wonder.

“Alright, I’ll go have a look when I go home. But still, who made something like that?
Alright, see you over the weekend. Bye.”

“Who was it?” Iseul asked as she let go of the straw.

“Dowook.”

“What’s this about Han Maru’s fan cafe?”

“Just what it sounds like. It’s a fan cafe for Han Maru. Apparently, there’s one on the
internet.”

“Really? I guess Maru is famous now.”

“Apparently, there’s only a single-digit number of members.”

“Then I should sign up and increase that count.”

“I’m going to post a funny photo of him as soon as I sign up. I have some on my
phone.”

“You’re such a bad guy.”

“That’s what being friends is about.”

“There was a PC-bang right nearby. Should we go now?”

Dojin nodded and stood up. Iseul finished up the rest of her coffee in one go.
“There really is one.”

Aram giggled and clicked on the ‘sign up’ button. Just as she had found out from the
text message she received from Jiyoon ten minutes ago, she indeed found a Han Maru
fan cafe. There were a whopping 40 members here. When she had a look at the date
it was made, she saw that it was made just yesterday. Forty people had found this
cafe and signed up for it in just one day.

Unlike the looks of the cafe, which looked very crude, the entry questions made her
puzzled. She only managed to sign up after looking up the answers on the internet
before she could sign up. While she was signing up, the number of members
increased by 10. While 50 people might look like a small number, it felt like a lot to
her when she thought of a classroom full of students.

There were three noticeboards: Announcements, greetings, and a free bulletin board.
When she entered the greetings section, she saw a whole page filled with greetings.
The first post was posted by an account with the ID ‘Han Maru’, which was kinda
funny. Was Han Maru the creator of this cafe?

She clicked on it and read what it was about.

“Wait, this seems like the real Maru-seonbae.”

He didn’t make it right? She tried imagining Maru being the one to create this cafe
and writing the first post. She laughed exactly one second later. That was impossible.

She rested her chin on her hands and had a look at the greetings. Although their IDs
were all different, there were some posts where she could guess who wrote them.
Jiyoon said she heard about it from Daemyung, so the entirety of the acting club
probably knew about it. The people other than them who had also heard about this
cafe should have joined as well. It was a Han Maru fan cafe after all. Aram looked
forward to what kind of face Maru would make when she talked to him about it
tomorrow. The people who joined this cafe must probably feel the same. While he
looked like someone who would stay calm even if he fell into a pit of snakes, he was
someone who got embarrassed easily when it came to things about himself.
Aram also left a simple greeting post. She filled half of her post with ‘lol’s and ‘lmao’s.
She wanted to call Maru to check his reaction immediately, but she decided to hold
back since it would be funnier to talk to him about it in person.

There were also about 30 posts on the free bulletin board. She clicked on the first
post. There was a photo of him from the acting competition. Was it someone from
the acting club? She clicked on the post and read it.

“Wow, who’s this?”

The contents of the post made her feel embarrassed when it wasn’t even about
herself. ‘Handsome actor’, ‘Great actor’, ‘Charisma of the play’, etc. A queasy feeling
like one she would get if she had bitten a chunk of raw butter spread around to her
bones. This was clearly aimed as a prank on Maru. Aram decided that this person
was not someone from the acting club. Even Dowook-seonbae had never played a
serious prank on Maru-seonbae. She wondered who had the guts to post something
like this.

She had a look at the ID. It was ‘TTO Love Bada’. Bada; only after she said the name
with her mouth did she realize the identity of the poster. It was his sister. Aram
thought about Maru’s sister who she saw on the day of the CSAT. She was a prankster
girl, similar to herself.

Perhaps thanks to the influence of the first post, the following posts were all things
that would make Maru embarrassed. Photos that were taken when he was on stage,
photos taken during shoots, and even ones that were taken during personal
occasions.

A competitive spirit surged within Aram. Although she found Maru scary when he
got seriously angry, she couldn’t miss this opportunity. She scrolled through all the
photos she took of the acting club that was saved on her blog and picked some
photos where Maru had a funny look. She picked a photo after much effort as though
she was picking clothes. It was a photo of him curled up into a ball under a blanket in
the corner of the hall.

“Our cute Han Maru seonbae-nim. No, wait, that will make it obvious that I’m a
junior, so…”

Aram tried to calm down her curling lips as she typed.

 ***

“It’s cold. Come in quickly.”

Ahn Joohyun turned on the heater as soon as she entered the room. As expected of
December, it was getting cold by the day. The weather forecast said that it was going
to snow tonight, so she shivered just thinking about how she had to do a shoot
outside.

“I’ll get dinner ready. You can get washed first.”

Her brother, Bangjoo, stood in front of the sink. Joohyun sat in a chair, with the
backrest in front of her.

“Are you not going to wash up? You must be tired.”

“I’ll just look around for a while before washing.”

“There’s nothing to look around at. Should we go with kimchi-jjigae or doenjang-

jjigae?”

“We got some ham a while back. How about budae-jjigae?”

“Alright.”

Bangjoo opened the cabinet above the sink and took out some ham. Joohyun opened
the refrigerator and brought Bangjoo some sausages that they bought a few days
ago. Bangjoo washed the cutting board and started chopping up the ham. Joohyun
watched him from behind.

“I think being a cook suits you better than an actor.”

“I don’t find cooking that fun.”

“Don’t say that and try learning. I’m sure it’s much more rewarding than being an
actor.”

“Do you think that will work on me when you’re an actress yourself? If you’re gonna
say nonsense, then just go get washed up and lie down for a bit. I’ll call you once it’s
ready.”
Joohyun pretended to zip up her lips. While her little brother looked like a reckless
kid who was unstoppable, she knew that he had a delicate side to him. Once, she
mistook him for an adult and was unable to look after him. If not for Maru’s help,
Joohyun would have only looked at his mature side and would not have been able to
discover his hidden wounds.

“Should I help you?”

“You don’t even know how to handle a knife. Just keep watching.”

“This noona needs to learn cooking to marry someone, you know?”

“You? Get married? I feel bad for the man.”

“Hey, Ahn Bangjoo. It seems like you forgot who your sister is; I’m titled the goddess
on the streets, you know? You saw back at the mall, right? Girls your age all rushed
towards me screaming ‘unni, you’re so pretty’.”

“A goddess can have such a foul mouth? Also, that’s because they don’t know the true
you. I still don’t get what people like about such a weird freak.”

“Just know that my popularity will never decline no matter what you do.”

Bangjoo chopped up the sausages into large chunks and put them into some boiling
water before asking,

“So, you have a boyfriend?”

“What if I do?”

“So you don’t.”

“My little brother. What makes you think that your sister doesn’t have a man? It’s all
because I’m busy looking after you. Do you now understand my feelings a little?”

“Stop spouting nonsense and get some rest. I thought you were leaving early in the
morning again.”

Bangjoo looked at her worriedly. Joohyun smiled and nodded. The reason that their
mother, who was on Jeju island, stayed there without too much worry was probably
thanks to this reliable son. If her tomboy daughter said that she wanted to live alone
at such an age, she would probably have stopped her at all costs.

Just as she was about to stand up, Bangjoo’s phone vibrated.

“I think you got a text.”

“You can have a look. My hands are covered in oil right now.”

Joohyun opened his phone. It was a text from a person called Aram. After reading it,
she brought a laptop to the table.

“I told you to get some sleep. Why did you bring a laptop?”

“Apparently, there’s a Han Maru fan cafe.”

“Fan cafe?”

Joohyun searched for Han Maru. There were quite a lot of news articles. After
scanning the article titles and the internet news agencies that posted them, Joohyun
immediately realized that this was the work of president Lee Junmin. So this boy was
getting his name known little by little. It seemed that JA was planning to put wings
on Maru. If Junmin started working on it, Maru would definitely get his name known,
slowly but steadily. Among the actors affiliated with JA, there weren’t any stars who
became big in an instant. They were all people who rose up the ranks little by little.
This was especially the case with Hong Geunsoo and Yang Ganghwan, who she
presumed would become his masterpieces. Now, she could hear their names quite
frequently in the industry. Joohyun believed that their reputations would spread out
across the whole country quite soon.

She clicked on the ‘cafes’ tab. Indeed, there was a Han Maru fan cafe. There were 100
members. Joohyun thought back to the day when she first got her fan club. It was
back when PC to PC communication was done through landlines, so the only thing
they could do was chat with people in a private chat room, but that was quite fun.
Things like fan cafes only started forming after the 2000s. She distanced herself from
the internet for a long time as she took a break from work after ‘Spring Calendar’,
and she found out that a fan cafe had formed. She thought that there wouldn’t be that
many members just like the landline communication days, so when she realized that
there were nearly 5,000 members, she was given a lot of encouragement. Right now,
there were about 40,000 people.
“Should I post?”

“What post?”

Bangjoo approached after washing his hands.

“For now, I can be considered a fan of Maru, so it’s fine if I leave behind a post.
Bangjoo, do you have that photo you took when you played a minor actor in a film?”

“Yes, it’s in my room.”

“Bring one where we took a photo together with Maru.”

After scanning the cafe once, Bangjoo left and brought a photo without saying much.
Joohyun put her face next to the photo.

“Come here.”

“Me too?”

“He’s your senior, so you should cheer for him.”

“That’s true.”

Bangjoo listened quite well when it came to matters related to Maru. It probably
meant that he trusted and relied on him that much. After taking a photo with her
phone, she transferred it over to the laptop. Joohyun posted the photo immediately
and wrote a post.

“He’s a junior I cherish. Please look after him and cheer for him a lot.”

She read what she wrote out loud and put a period at the end before clicking on the
‘post’ button. A moment later, a new post was posted in the cafe.

***

Dongwook deleted 10 text messages without even reading them. They were all from
Miyeon. Although he had vowed not to help her, he kept feeling uneasy. He could
easily picture himself giving up in the face of this persistence and digging into the
huge company that was YM.
“Absolutely not.”

He couldn’t kick away his stable livelihood. Dongwook threw his phone away from
him. Only after moving away the item that gave him the witch’s whisper could he
sigh in relief.

He made a cup of stick coffee and sat at the desk he put next to the window. The
sunset, which he could never see in that damp, cramped semi-basement room could
be seen. A stable life was much more important than journalism.

He opened the laptop and opened the messenger. As soon as he opened it, he got a
text from Miyeon. He immediately changed his status to ‘away’. It was scary how
quick she was to send a message.

-Hyung-nim, this is pretty interesting.

He got a message from a junior he had known for quite a long time. This guy worked
for an internet news agency. The message that the junior sent had a website url. He
copied the URL and pasted it into his address bar.

He was greeted by an internet news website riddle with popup ads. He mechanically
clicked on the ‘x’ button in the corner to close them all. Only after removing the
popup that blocked the news article could he see the content.

“What’s this?”

He saw some familiar faces. There was a photo of Han Maru and a photo of Ahn
Joohyun holding a photo of Han Maru. There was someone else next to Joohyun, but
they were blurred out. The content of the article was quite simple. Ahn Joohyun,
cheering for the new actor Han Maru - that was it. It was a crudely written article
with all sorts of clickbaity words, just like the platform it was written on.

-Isn’t he the guy you said would do well in the future?

Dongwook stroked his chin as he looked at the message from his junior. It was one of
the thousands of trashy articles that only wasted internet traffic, but he found it a
waste to let go of this source.

“I think it’ll have quite a good reaction if I go about it on the side of humor.”
Dongwook immediately pulled up Lee Junmin’s chat in the messenger. He always
needed permission from the president when writing something about an actor
belonging to JA. Lee Junmin’s direction to create an undefeated myth probably
included managing little articles like these. He wrote a basic outline and sent it to the
president.

A moment later, he got a reply,

-Try it out.

Dongwook notified his junior that he would buy him food tomorrow.
There was a time when the media was a symbol of resistance. In an era where all text
written in ink was censored, there were people who wrote articles while putting
their hearts on display. The stories of the journalists who wrote the word
‘independence’ with the souls of their people were always passed down like myths.
Follow their example. Do not forget their achievements.

The times had changed. The legends were now forgotten. While the media regained
its free speech, it soon restrained itself. Once, by rulership, now by money. There
were still many who walked towards the truth while staking their livelihood. The
problem was that those who departed never returned. If the National Security
Agency once snapped their pens with force, the journalists who tried to approach
now had their pens snapped by money. An era where spiderwebs would form in
their throats.

Either starve to death while trying to speak the truth, or live a plentiful life while
trying to write just the visible truth. Dongwook chose the latter and had no regrets.

“Get yourself together, Choi Miyeon.”

He sent Miyeon a text telling her to sleep before looking at his laptop.

After reviewing his own article about Ahn Joohyun and Han Maru, he put the last
period before shaking his hands. The rest was up to the netizens. The internet was
full of people looking for fun and funny things. Dongwook personally called them
‘freeloading laborers’.

These freeloading laborers sometimes posted stuff that wasn’t related to them. On
the day a celebrity’s controversy appeared, their value would shine. Despite the fact
that no one told them to do such a thing nor did they earn anything from doing so,
these freeloading laborers got themselves excited over issues and carried the news
to various community sites. Some of them even used their own free time to spread
the word. The things they went crazy for weren’t just controversial issues. It was
whatever that interested them. If there was something they could spend their free
time on, they would appear whenever and wherever.
Not too long ago, there was an incident where a photo became a big issue on a
humor website. The photo was spread out to various other communities thanks to
the free labor of these freeloading laborers, and as a result, the person in the photo
ended up shooting a commercial for a famous burger franchise. How much money
would it cost to hire professionals to add issues to such a photo? Probably an
enormous sum.

Moving their interest towards fun. This was what normal journalists minded about
the most these days. Dongwook sent his junior a message. He asked him to write a
post about the related content in the community he was active in.

-That’s not too difficult. But hyung-nim, I want to do an interview with Miss Kim
Suyeon. Can’t you make it work? Let me borrow the power of a JA journalist.

So it turns out treating him to food wasn’t enough. Dongwook replied that he would
think about it after seeing the results.

***

It seemed as though the word ‘chilly’ shouldn’t be used for a while. Gaeul shrank her
shoulders. She could feel cold air seeping into her scarf. The evening in Seoul during
a frost wave was nose-tingling cold.

Gaeul put a footprint in the snow piled up on the side of the pedestrian road. The
snow that had piled up for two days seemed like it didn’t want to melt anytime soon.
She was reminded of the news that winter service vehicles were short in supply.

“Is that the place?”

She saw a barbecue restaurant in the distance. She peeked inside from the front of
the store before opening the door. There were people sitting inside.

“Do you have company?” asked a lady who approached her.

“Uhm, I heard there was a get-together here.”

“So you’re a reserved customer. Go on up to the 2nd floor.”

She walked towards the direction the lady pointed at. She climbed the wooden stairs.
The second floor had a magnificent view thanks to the large windows.
“Gaeul-seonbae, over here!”

“Gaeul, over here!”

Gaeul walked over while undoing her scarf. This was the last get-together she was
attending as a member of the acting club. Although there would be another get-
together after the national acting competition is over, there were many people who
wouldn’t be able to attend because of personal circumstances, so today was
practically the last day the members of the acting club could get together as a whole.

“It’s freezing outside, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it’s really cold.”

Choi Seol, who set down her position as the president as of yesterday, quickly offered
Gaeul a seat next to her. Gaeul took off her coat and sat down.

“Well then! Actress Han Gaeul is here, so let’s have a toast!” Choi Seol shouted while
lifting her cup.

Gaeul also raised her empty cup above her head. Although they looked like they were
drinking, it was all just soda.

“Thanks a lot for following this shitty president. Especially you 2nd years. I know
you guys hated me a lot because I swore and got annoyed at you.”

Choi Seol’s face looked serious, but her lips curled into a curve.

“You’re the ones in 3rd year now, aren’t you? You should know what it’s like to be
here. Only now would you know why I said all the things I did. Especially you,
Youngsoo! Why did you say you’ll be the president? It’s disgustingly difficult, you
know?”

The members of the acting club all laughed. Youngsoo, who succeeded the position of
the president, laughed awkwardly. Gaeul laughed from the bottom of her heart; she
hadn’t done that in a long time.

“I was just joking. Now, we only have one stage left. Do that well. I am going to enjoy
a fancy college life! I’m going to get a boyfriend during the orientation, so just you
wait.”
As soon as she said those words, people started denying her everywhere.

“I don’t think you’ll ever get a boyfriend though, Choi-seonbae.”

“I bet my hand that Choi-seonbae will never get a boyfriend.”

“I think the apocalypse is more likely.”

The juniors would never be able to go against the usual Choi Seol, but they were able
to do so now thanks to the fact that this was their last get-together. Choi Seol also
laughed and returned their words.

“Anyway, you worked hard, two years for the 2nd years, and one year for the 1st
years. We got a card from school today, so let’s eat and drink to our heart’s content!”

Choi Seol took out a white credit card. It was the omnipotent card that only appeared
during get-together occasions. Bells started ringing at various tables as though they
had been waiting for it. The waiter, who came up with the order cards, busily
accepted orders from them.

“Gaeul, when are you going to start shooting the film?”

“February 24th is what is on the schedule, but I can’t be sure. I’m only a minor
character, so I have to go when they call for me.”

“I know you entered an agency, but you are shooting a film after all, huh. I’ve known
you since my first year. I knew you were going to succeed.”

“We weren’t that close during our first year, were we?” Gaeul said while pouting.

Choi Seol made a sad face. Her other friend, who sat opposite them, spoke,

“I’ve seen the info on the internet, but I heard that Lee Hyuk and Ahn Joohyun are in
it, right?”

“Seriously?”

Choi Seol’s eyes widened. Their gazes were focused on Gaeul.

“Yes, those two are in this film.”

“I guess you will meet them during the shoot, right?”

“I don’t think I’ll meet them. I didn’t look at the full script, so I can’t be sure of this,
but it’s likely that I only have one scene. If the actors don’t come during that scene, I
guess I won’t see them.”

“If you do, please get me their autographs. Especially Ahn Joohyun. Lee Hyuk is
actually meh.”

“Me too, me too!”

Gaeul replied ‘if I can’. Just then, the food came up from the first floor. The moment
the side dishes and the pork ribs came up, the second floor became quiet. The meat
was distributed across the tables before red-hot charcoal was placed on each table.

“Eat to your hearts’ content. I’ve given you a lot.”

Hearing the lady’s words, Choi Seol placed some meat on the grill. Along with a
sizzling sound, the second floor became bustling with noise in an instant. I’ll grill it,
that’s not how you do it, hey it’s getting burnt; all sorts of cheerful noises could be
heard.

“Oh yeah, everyone got their scores, right? Did you check?” Gaeul asked as she placed
a piece of meat on her plate.

Today was the 10th of December, the day the results were announced. Choi Seol, who
was eating a big piece of wrap, as well as her colleagues who took the exams all fell
silent. Gaeul made a puzzled expression. When they went through their tests
together on the night they took the CSATs, they all said that they got the scores they
wanted.

“Gaeul, how did you do?”

“Me? I got the same scores as my grading.”

“Then you’re in the clear?”

“Probably.”

“Really? That’s good.”

Their serious expressions did not disappear. Gaeul started becoming worried. Did
one of them mark the answers wrong or something?

“Hey, did something not go right?” she asked cautiously.

Was it a mistake on her part to think that they did decently after hearing that they
said they got the scores they wanted when they graded themselves?

Choi Seol, who had a sad expression on her face, shook some lettuce to get rid of the
water and put a piece of meat on it. She put some stir-fried beansprouts, pickled
radish, and sliced garlic before putting the big wrap in her mouth. The others also
ate expressionlessly.

Gaeul quietly watched them for a while before sighing.

“What the, are you toying with me?”

After maintaining an expressionless face for a while, they all laughed out loud.

“Hey, did you see Gaeul panic?”

“We all got the scores we were expecting. Seol got 10 points above what she
expected, so she’s in the safe.”

“Although we didn’t all get to go to Seoul University, I think we should be able to get
into the places we were aiming for,” Choi Seol said as she wiped her lips.

“You were aiming for the department of theater at Choong-a university, right?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s 100% official enroll, so you should be able to get in, right?”

“I’ll have to see what the actual requirements are like, but I don’t think I have to
worry according to the grade table that my cram school put out.”

“That’s good. Then you’ll be a campus couple for sure, right?” Choi Seol said while
poking her on the side.

For a moment, Gaeul was unable to maintain her expression.

“What is it? Did something happen with your boyfriend? I heard you two were going
to go to Choong-a university together.”

Perhaps because they had been friends for three years, Choi Seol and the others
noticed what was on her mind immediately and asked.

“He didn’t take the CSATs.”

“Did he pass the pre-enroll?”

“No, he decided not to go to college. He’s probably busy with work right now. He can
always go to college later, but the things he’s doing right now are things he will never
be able to do if he doesn’t do them now.”

“But isn’t life as an actor pretty hard if you don’t major in theater?”

“He should be fine. He has the skills after all. He’s already playing a main character in
a drama. He’s completely different from me. There’s a huge chasm between us.”

“Really? I thought that you two would go to the same college for sure and have a
sweet life together.”

Gaeul smiled.

“I should practice a little more. I should practice more and chase him. If I do, then we
should be able to meet in the field, not at college. I’m planning to focus on work until
then. I think that’ll be better for both of us.”

“Looks like you thought quite seriously about this. Well, if you’ve made up your
mind, I guess it should be fine. It’s not like you’re going to be far away.”

“We don’t have any time to play around right now. There are classes I need to take,
and I have to do the shoots too.”

“Han Gaeul, you’re an adult now, huh? Is that what it means to earn money?”

Choi Seol put down her chopsticks. She looked at the grill in a daze for a while before
speaking,

“Since we’re on the topic of dating, I heard you broke up, Youngmi.”
Gaeul looked at Youngmi. She remembered how Youngmi said that they would hit
1,000 days soon.

“You broke up?” Gaeul asked again.

Youngmi put some meat on her plate with an indifferent expression.

“Yeah, we broke up.”

“Why? You were good together.”

“We met for too long.”

“Did something bad happen?”

“It’s not like that. We just became good friends. I’ve spent three years with him, so
we just saw that we weren’t fit for each other in some parts. It was fun to play
together, but it became somewhat boring to keep being lovers. We just met up on a
weekend, watched a movie together, and talked about breaking up. We’re going to
different colleges as well.”

“Are you okay?”

Gaeul pulled out some napkins, worried that Youngmi might cry, since she cried
quite often.

“I thought I would cry a lot, you know? But in fact, I feel refreshed. It might have been
frustrating if we broke up in a bad way, but we talked to each other about it.
Honestly, if you graduate high school, you graduate from your relationships as well.
Heecheol, Jooyoung, Jinho, and Haemi all broke up.”

“All of them?”

“We’re going to college, aren’t we? We’re going to be apart anyway. There are some
who are saying that they didn’t break up, but I’ve seen them with other people,”
Youngmi said as she put some meat in her mouth.

“I’m saying this because it’s just us girls here; Gaeul, did you sleep with him?”

“N-no.”
“Then I guess you guys will get fed up soon too. We slept and we’re still breaking up.”

“You guys slept?”

“Yeah, at the beginning of this year. Things just happened.”

Gaeul looked at Choi Seol. Choi Seol looked like her soul had left her. Youngmi, who
was known for being naïve, turned out to be the quickest among them.

“Gaeul, honestly speaking, I think you should break up right now. Your boyfriend is a
celebrity, isn’t he? I’m not sure about now, but if he becomes popular, you’ll have less
and less time to meet with him. Do you meet him these days?”

“No, I haven’t been contacting him.”

“Did he ever call you? Ever since you cut contact with him?”

“No.”

“Well, I guess his feelings left you too. I’m not saying this to hurt you; that’s just how
love goes between people our age, right?”

Youngmi looked around, seemingly asking for agreement. However, everyone was
shocked by the fact that Youngmi had slept with her boyfriend.

“You really slept?” Choi Seol asked again.

“Why are you asking that again? It’s embarrassing. Just eat.”

“Talk about it in detail. I want to hear about it.”

“Me too.”

The table heated up with a hot story. Gaeul fidgeted with her phone as she looked at
her friends who lowered their voices.
In the end, that’s all you amount to.

Her fingers, digging into the fold of her phone, came to a sudden halt. Gaeul felt a
faint heat rising from her heart. The emotions of the rabbit were coming through to
her.

-If you weren’t by his side, you would have called Maru a long time ago. You would
have spent meaningless time with him over the phone in order to earn just a tiny bit
of consolation; to tragically confirm that you are still the one next to him. Is that all
your resolve amounts to? Or what is it? Are you saying that you’re in the clear
because you managed to win a minor role in a film? Is that all your self-confidence
amounts to? If that’s how you’re going to do things, you might as well stop. Just meet
Maru comfortably again. You might end up comparing yourself to him and become
dejected again, but what can you do about it? That’s just the girl you are. Hey, why
don’t you give your body to him at this opportunity? Just tie the knot. If you think
that you can’t be acknowledged as an actress, as a human being, just buy him with
your body. I mean, it’s not like it’s bad?

“You’re going too far there,” Gaeul said.

The rabbit always cherished her like a real big sister, but she was always quite a
vicious talker when it came to matters related to Maru. It was good that she
reminded her of her resolve whenever she waved, but today, she clearly went too far.

-I’m telling you to do things properly if you don’t want to listen to stuff like this from
me.

Her words were pretty sharp. Gaeul sighed and took her hands off her phone.

-But it is quite strange. You did tell him not to contact you, but I’m surprised that
you’re not suspicious since he hasn’t given you a single call.

“Suspicious of what?”

-I mean, isn’t that how it is? For you, you can hold yourself back because I’m next to
you and holding you back whenever you have the urge, but that’s not the case for
Maru, is it? If he really likes you and wants to see you, I’m sure he would have gone
against the promise and given you a call.

“I’m sure Maru understands how I feel.”

-Really? If it was me, I would have gone to that person’s house and asked for the
reason if someone I love told me not to contact them. That is what love is after all.

No – she wasn’t able to retort properly. In a corner of her heart, a part of her was
agreeing with the rabbit’s words. While acting, there were times when she felt
frustrated because things didn’t go the way she wanted to. It would’ve been better if
I stretched my arms a little further; it would have been better if I loosened my
shoulders a little; it would’ve been better if my eyebrows shook a little more clearly.
It wasn’t just her body that didn’t move according to her will. There were times when
her heart expressed emotions regardless of her thoughts. Right now, it was the same.
It was ‘her heart’, yet she couldn’t follow as ‘her heart’ wished. Maybe the heart was
even harder to control than the body. Gaeul bit her lips.

“Let’s have a candid talk[1]!”

Those words could be heard from a table where the juniors were. Gaeul blew away
her bitter thoughts. She didn’t want to ruin this occasion to joyously wrap up the
year because of her personal matters. She exercised her facial muscles on purpose
and put on a smile so that everyone else could continue having an enjoyable time.

“We don’t want to do it though.”

“But you guys did it when you were in second-year seonbaes. We’re now in second
year, so we’re doing one too.”

“That’s right! Even if you leave, you have to leave after getting an earful from us.”

Choi Seol made a troubled expression. It was her who had led the 2nd year students
harshly for the past year. If they had a candid talk, the 2nd years, who should have
grinded their swords until now, would rush her. As a sinner, Choi Seol tried to make
them do another game, but the 2nd year students did not relent.

“First-year students, don’t you want to do it too?”

“Yes! We’d love to.”

“It’s our last get-together anyway, so let’s finish it off with a blast, shall we? Please?
Choi Seol seonbae-nim. The people are on our side. Stop struggling and just allow it.”

The 2nd-year students asked for a candid talk with the 1st-year students’ support.
Gaeul thought about this time last year. Before the winter holidays started, they also
had a candid talk with the then 3rd-year students. What they liked, what they
regretted, and what they did not want to forget. It was time to talk about those.

“Fine then! Let’s do it. But instead, we’re doing it in reverse, okay? Us third years are
the youngest, the second years are in the middle, and the first years are the
seonbaes, okay?”

“Of course. Hey, hey. You first-years, you don’t have to hold back, okay?”

The candid talk began with permission from former president Choi Seol and the
current president Youngsoo. They could commit a rebellion right now, but the
juniors weren’t able to speak properly. The first one to speak was Youngsoo.

“Choi Seol!” Youngsoo stood up abruptly.

Choi Seol’s lips twitched but still spoke,

“Yes, seonbae.”

“Don’t you act like that when you go to college. You’re too rough for being a girl.”

“Of course, I’m going to do well when I go to college.”

“Also, don’t hit others as a joke. You might take it as a joke, but it really hurts for me,
you know? You’re really strong. Keep that in mind.”

“Yes, I’m a little strong. And my arms are thick too.”

Gaeul chuckled while covering her mouth. She would probably get to see veins
popping out on Choi Seol’s neck.

“Lastly, Choi Seol. Do you have a boyfriend?”

“No.”

Youngsoo, who had been acting boldly until now, suddenly looked shy. The 2nd year
boys sitting around him tapped him and told him to go for it. Feeling the serious
atmosphere, everyone stopped laughing and looked at him.

“Choi Seol! I liked you, did you know that?”

A moment later, applause could be heard. Amidst the loud cheers was a shout telling
them to kiss.

Choi Seol raised her hand to stop them and spoke,

“Seonbae-nim, I’m sorry to tell you this, but you aren’t my type. Also, you’re in your
third year now, so just study hard.”

When Choi Seol rejected him so firmly while crossing her arms, Youngsoo sat down
with a gloomy expression. The 2nd year boys burst out into laughter.

“Why did you do that? It’s not that bad to date a high school student as a college girl,”
said the friend sitting next to Choi Seol.

Choi Seol shook her head.

“With him? No way. I don’t feel like he’s a man at all. He’s just a cute brother.”

Her friends nodded, saying that it was understandable.

“The second-year students went first, so next should be someone from the first year.”

Among the tense first-year students, one of them, who was known to be bold,
abruptly stood up from his seat.

“Hey, isn’t practicing until 12 a little too long? Let’s reduce it a little. Especially you,
Youngsoo. You don’t have any right to tell Seol anything. At least she looks after us.
All you can do is nag.”

“Yes, yes. I’ll do my best to serve.”

“Hey, you sound defiant? You aren’t going to tell me something after this ends, are
you? I’ll have faith that you aren’t so petty, Youngsoo.”

“Of course. I don’t dare say anything to the 1st year seniors. I’ll try to reduce practice
in the future. Let’s do it until 11:59.”

The 1st-year student sat down, looking like he was doomed. Following that, other
1st-year students grabbed their spoons (that acted as a microphone) and spoke out
what was on their minds. The majority of their complaints were directed towards
the 2nd-year students rather than the 3rd-year students, and it was probably
because they had more interaction with each other as consecutive grades. Gaeul
watched everyone as she ate some vegetable wraps. She had her blast last year, but
now that she was in her 3rd-year, she had nothing to say.

The noisy candid talk eventually arrived near the end.

“Han Gaeul!”

Gaeul, who was picking up a slice of garlic with her chopsticks, raised her hand when
she heard the voice. Yuna, who had tied her hair up into a bun above her head, was
holding a spoon upside down.

“First, congrats on getting good results on the CSATs!”

Gaeul put down her chopsticks and spoke,

“Thank you.”

“Also, when you bought me strawberry milk and consoled me that time, thank you a
lot.”

The 1st-year students booed her, telling her to stop the good stories. Gaeul faintly
smiled and looked at Yuna. Ever since Yuna confessed what was on her mind, she
thought about maintaining a good relationship with her as a senior and a junior, but
when she came to, they had become quite distant. There were times when they
talked to each other and talked about acting, but even during those times, Gaeul felt
a wall when talking to her. That wall wasn’t something put up by Yuna; it was
something by herself. The wall that she thought would break soon, became taller and
sturdier. Now, the wall had become so tall that she couldn’t see Yuna’s expression
truthfully even if she tip-toed. She found herself pathetic for putting a distance
between them when it was her who told her that she understood and that it was
something that could happen. The more pathetic she felt about herself, the more
distant they became.

“Not at all,” Gaeul said.

After taking a deep breath. Yuna looked around.

“That’s it for Han Gaeul. From now on, I have something personal to tell everyone in
the acting club. There was a boy I really liked.”

The 1st-year juniors suddenly cheered at the sudden confession. Gaeul clutched her
aching heart and looked at Yuna.

“There are probably a lot of people who like Yuna among the first years.”

“It’s not just the first years. I’m pretty sure many people from the second- and third-
years got rejected by her too.”

Her friends started speaking among themselves. Just as they said, Yuna was quite
popular. She gave off a docile impression and had a cute face. Not only that, she had
experience working as a main character in a drama, so it was natural for her to be a
target of adoration.

Gaeul felt her throat burning. She sipped some water and watched the silent Yuna.
They made eye contact as though she had been waiting for it.

“But I was rejected cleanly. I really liked him, but I can’t even think about him
anymore. That was how thorough it was.”

The boys went into an uproar.

“Who was it? Who rejected Yuna?”

“Let’s be honest here, everyone. Who was it? Who rejected Yuna?”

They naturally thought that the person Yuna liked was someone in the acting club.
Only Gaeul knew that Yuna was talking about Maru. She wondered what Yuna
wanted to say.

After gulping down some cold water, Yuna continued to speak in a shaky voice,
“So you two can meet. I want you two to meet. I might have interrupted you, but I
was nothing. I’m someone who you don’t even need to be concerned about, so don’t
worry about anything. He only looks at you. Okay? Hey! Thanks, sorry, and I admire
you. You can hate me, but I want to maintain a good relationship with you, can I?”

After saying those words, Yuna sat down. Gaeul saw her wiping the corner of her
eyes with the back of her hand. Gaeul sighed shakily.

“What was that? What did Yuna just say?”

“Don’t you get it? There’s a love triangle in the acting club. Yuna liked a boy, but that
boy had a girlfriend already. That’s why she’s apologizing in public.”

“Is that how it is? What’s up with that. Yuna looks so docile. That was unexpected.”

“I’m pretty sure she didn’t know he had a girlfriend. That’s why she cried so much
while apologizing. The girl in question might not believe it if they talked about it
personally, so that’s why she might have said it here. Anyway, she’s really brave
alright. I would be too embarrassed to say something like that in public,” Youngmi
said while shaking her head.

Choi Seol agreed with her and stood up.

“There there! I’m not sure who it is that Yuna feels sorry, is thankful to, and admires,
but I hope you two can talk it out later. It doesn’t look like Yuna was pretending. Also,
Im Yuna!”

“Y-yes!” Yuna replied while sobbing.

“This is supposed to be a candid talk, not a confession!”

“I’m sorry!”

“As punishment, you have to sing a song.”

“What?”

“I’m saying that you have to sing a song. You brought the whole mood down. Doesn’t
everyone agree? But, I’ll sing with you. No wait, all third years, stand up! Let’s be
Yuna’s back dancers.”
Choi Seol stepped in to liven up the mood. The 3rd year students clapped and
brought Yuna away from the table. Yuna’s eyes had turned red, but she soon smiled
and put a spoon inside a glass soda bottle.

“Hey, Han Gaeul. Come on up,” Choi Seol called Gaeul. Gaeul sat down and looked at
Yuna. Yuna was waiting silently.

Gaeul took a deep breath before standing up. Although she felt complex and dizzy,
she didn’t want to be the bad girl when her junior had the courage to confess.

“I can’t let my junior do that alone. I’ll sing first.”

Gaeul grabbed the soda bottle that Yuna was holding.

“As expected of Han Gaeul. So? What are you going to sing?” Choi Seol asked while
opening her phone.

Gaeul snorted before speaking,

“Cho PD[2]’s Friend.”

[1] This is ‘Yaja time(야자 타임)’ in Korean, where basically, the senior/junior
relationship is switched around.

[2] Referring to the Korean singer, Cho Yong-pil. Here’s the song on youtube
“Those of you who want to go to the noraebang in separate groups, don’t get in
trouble, those of you going home, watch out on your way home.”

“Yes!”

“There’s still one more competition, so don’t be too loose. We’re only going to play
around today and then start practicing tomorrow. There’s not even a month left until
January.”

Choi Seol clapped above her head once.

“Well, then. Let’s do one last fighting and then break up. Myunghwa high acting club,
fighting!”

“Fighting!”

A hundred or so people shouted at the same time. The passersby glanced at them
before walking past. People who had formed separate groups went to nearby
noraebangs and PC bangs.

“Gaeul, we’re going to go to a board game cafe; do you want to come?”

“Sorry, I’m a little tired today.”

Choi Seol, who would usually pull on her arms to get her to go together with her,
nodded her head obediently today.

“Alright, then go home and get some rest. You didn’t look good back there. I’m not
sure what it’s about, but if you have anything you’re worried about, you can always
call me up and talk to me about it. This unni has a lot of time. If it’s about your
boyfriend though, don’t call me. I don’t have much experience when it comes to
dating.”

“Don’t have much? You mean none at all. Gaeul, if it’s about love problems, call me.
I’m better than Seol when it comes to that.”
Choi Seol approached her and locked her fingers around Gaeul’s before shaking
them. Her other friends also approached, grabbed her hands and shook them up and
down, and left after telling her to give them a call. The group of students in front of
the restaurant scattered in an instant.

Gaeul uttered out a short breath. Her breath turned white and disappeared with a
white trail. Just as she was about to put her scarf on, she saw Yuna about 10 meters
away from her. Yuna said goodbye to her friends and left the group. She seemed to be
going home. Gaeul clutched the scarf and walked over to Yuna. On her way, she made
eye contact with her. Yuna flinched and took a step back but did not run away. For
some reason, she felt grateful that Yuna waited for her.

“You aren’t going with your friends?”

“Yes. I felt a little tired.”

“Really? Me too. Which direction are you going?”

“I’m going this way. What about you, seonbae?”

“I’m going that way too. Uh, hey, wanna walk for a bit?”

Yuna nodded after a bit of hesitation. Gaeul was reminded of what her friend said;
that it was incredible of Yuna to confess such a thing. From how frightened she
looked right now, Gaeul could hardly imagine that she was the same bold girl during
the candid talk. It must have been that difficult to say those words.

“You must be cold.”

Gaeul undid her scarf and stood in front of Yuna. Yuna said she was okay, but Gaeul
quietly put the scarf around her.

“It’s warm, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it is.”

“Apparently, it’s going to get colder tomorrow. You should be prepared when you
come to school.”

“Yes.”
Gaeul stepped back first. She had a mountain load of things to say, but she couldn’t
speak so easily. She tried rolling the words that wanted to escape inside her mouth.
They walked silently for a while until they stopped due to a traffic light. A truck
loaded with logs passed in front of them with a heavy sound. Her ears became numb
momentarily, and her head became empty. The piles of words disappeared, and what
remained behind was just one sentence.

“It’s not because of you that I’m not meeting Maru.”

She saw Yuna’s small body stiffen up. Gaeul turned around halfway to face Yuna. She
saw confusion in her two eyes. The junior she had to console in the distant past was
standing right there. Yuna had placed her two hands in front of her stomach. Gaeul
grabbed those hands. Yuna’s hands were shaking and sweaty. It was extremely chilly.
Gaeul faintly smiled after seeing the stiff Yuna.

“I mean it. It’s not because of you.”

The lights changed. People started crossing the road. After glancing at the people
passing by, she looked at Yuna. Yuna seemed to be organizing her thoughts and she
spoke after a while,

“Then why aren’t you meeting?”

“Because of my intentions. I’m not seeing him right now because I don’t want to see
him.”

“You?”

“Yes. Didn’t you hear from Maru?”

“I did hear a little bit about it, but I didn’t think that would actually be the reason.”

Yuna sniffed. Whether it was because of the cold or because she was crying, Gaeul
did not know. Gaeul took out some tissues from her bag and wiped below Yuna’s
nose. Yuna, who had been frozen stiff, soon came to herself and took the tissues,
saying that she would wipe herself.

“How was Maru during the shoot?”

“Maru-seonbae?”
“Yes. Was he good?”

Yuna gave her glances intermittently. It seemed like she didn’t know how to answer
this question.

“I just want you to give it to me straight. Tell me what you felt.”

“Maru-seonbae was… really great. He sometimes explained to me in kind if I got

stuck on something. Gently and in detail. Oh, he changed recently, so he’s no longer
kind towards me, but I definitely got the feeling that he was guiding me. I felt like…
he was helping me just as much as I put in the effort.”

“That sounds like him. He doesn’t make that many mistakes, does he?”

“He doesn’t. There are rarely any NG scenes when it comes to his shots. Even if they
do another shoot, it’s because the director wants to do the shoot repeatedly for a
better cut.”

Yuna’s expression eased up a little. It seemed that her nervousness had subsided.

“His acting is one thing, but there’s no one that looks after the other cast as much as
him. Especially when it comes to the background actors. We only shot with them one
day, but he looked like he became close to them and even contacts them from time to
time. The staff really likes Maru too. The camera director especially takes good care
of him and…”

Yuna, who was talking without stop, suddenly widened her eyes and became silent.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. You’re making me feel sorry instead. Anyway, Maru is doing well during
the shoots without making mistakes, right?”

“Yes. He’s incredible. I always end up making mistakes because of nervousness, but
he always finishes things in one go. I sometimes feel envious of him, and I sometimes
find him curious. We aren’t that far apart in age, but the difference in experience is
too clear. Even if I resolve to do better, I sometimes feel uneasy when looking at him
because the gap between us is too big.”

Unease. Gaeul deeply sympathized with this word. It was the word that summed up
the reason she couldn’t meet Maru.

“Me too. I always feel that Maru is amazing when I keep watching him.”

The lights changed once again. Gaeul grabbed Yuna’s hand and crossed the road.

“Two years ago, Maru and I studied under teacher Ganghwan. You know who teacher
Yang Ganghwan is, right? You shot the drama with him this time.”

“Senior Ganghwan? Yes, I do.”

“He’s good, isn’t he?”

“Don’t even start. Maru-seonbae is good, but I can only say that senior Ganghwan is
on a completely different level. I can only exclaim when I watch him. He always says
that he’s embarrassed because he’s not good at acting in front of a camera, but if
that’s how it is, I might as well be disqualified.”

“Right. His acts are really amazing. It’s especially the case when you see his vivid acts
on stage. We- that is, Maru and I- studied under such a teacher. There were many
people. People who were considered good at acting from various schools were in
that place. Even there, Maru stood out above others. He was the only one who got
extra teachings from the teacher after all. At first, everyone misunderstood. They
thought that the teacher was biased towards him. But after time passed, everyone
knew. It wasn’t that the teacher was biased, it was that the level of acting that Maru
was on was a different level from us.”

Gaeul scraped the snow on the bonnet of a car and squashed it into a ball. Then, she
pretended to throw it at Yuna and hit the tree next to her. Yuna flinched and glanced
at her before making a snowball herself.

“Are you going to throw that?”

“N-no.”

Yuna became startled and dusted her hands. Gaeul thought this for a long time: Yuna
was a really good girl. She was honest with her emotions and had the courage to
speak in uncomfortable situations.

Gaeul suddenly wondered what kind of person she was to Maru. Considering how he
could act indifferent to a girl like that, did it mean that he liked Gaeul a lot? Or did he
not place that much meaning in romantic relationships? She remembered how Maru
habitually talked about marriage sometimes as a joke and sometimes seriously. She
wondered how serious he was when he said those words as well as how much of it
was just a joke.

“Since you were honest with me, I’ll be honest with you as well. I said that I was okay
in front of you, but I actually felt jealous. I was scared. I even had the thought that I
was being a nuisance to you two.”

“No, absolutely not. Maru-seonbae thinks about you a lot to the point that he asks me
how you’re doing.”

“Really?”

Gaeul sighed. Maru had faith in her. He was waiting. Even though she was wavering,
he kept the promise they made.

“Now that I heard that from you, I think I really have the conviction now.”

“Then are you going to meet again?”

“No, I’m not going to see him after all. As selfish as I might sound, I think that might
be better for me.”

“Why? Why do you have to do that?”

“Because I’m the bad one. Because I’m insufficient. Because I lack self-confidence. If I
meet him now, I will definitely find it enjoyable, and I will also be happy. But I have
the dream to stand on the same stage as Maru one day. Honestly speaking, I don’t
think I’m good enough as I am now. Like what you said, Maru keeps making progress.
I want to lash out at myself. I was always consoled by Maru until now, so I think I got
complacent and got used to that kind of lifestyle. I want to stand in front of Maru
more boldly. I want to embrace him, who actually has more tears than you think, but
I don’t think I can do that as I am now.”

Gaeul heaved out a deep breath. Yuna looked at her, at a loss on what to do.

“If you still like Maru, you can flirt with him.”
“What?”

“That’s what Maru told me before. He told me it was fine to date other people. He
said that he wasn’t worried because he’s the most charming person and has the
confidence to make me fall for him again. I’m going to do the same thing. If I have
that kind of confidence, I don’t think I need to be worried like this in the first place.”

Yuna looked dazed. Gaeul laughed out loud when she saw her expression.

“Seonbae, you’re okay, right?”

“Do I look strange?”

“N-no, it’s not like that, but…”

“Anyway, sorry for making you suffer. I’m also sorry for making you say the things
that I had to say. Also, thanks for bringing up the courage to speak about it to me.”

Gaeul grabbed Yuna’s hand again.

“It’s cold, let’s go.”

Yuna didn’t say anything for a while as though she felt complex. Yuna only spoke
again when they arrived at the bus stop,

“Seonbae, are you really not going to meet Maru-seonbae?”

“Yep. Until I can accept myself.”

“I’ll be cheering for you.”

“No, don’t. Rather than that, did you really give up on Maru?”

“Eh? Ah, yes. Maru-seonbae said it clearly to me.”

“But that’s what Maru thinks.”

“Seonbae.”

Just then, the bus that Yuna was going to ride arrived. Yuna undid the scarf and
spoke,

“Honestly, I can’t understand a word you’re saying now.”

“I’m not surprised. I don’t understand how I feel either.”

“Uhm, seonbae. If you say things like that, I might end up liking him again.”

“You can. Just bear in mind that it’s highly probable that I’ll snatch him back later.”

“Are you serious?”

“Let me just call it Han Maru’s dating method. I’m not sure if it’s going to work or not
though.”

The bus opened and Yuna got on. Before the door closed, Yuna hurriedly asked.

“I can keep calling you in the future, right?”

“Anytime. I’ll even pick up during the middle of the night.”

Yuna smiled at the last moment, though, she still looked puzzled.

Gaeul looked up at the sky.

The snow was falling again.

“For a while…”

The figure of Maru smiling briefly appeared in her head before disappearing.

Gaeul put on her scarf.

The wind was no longer chilly.