SYNOPSI

S
★★★★★
SukoandPoppyl i
v efr
om handt omout h.Theyare
besti
eswhol ackst abi
lit
yintheirl
ives.Poppy '
s
wil
li
ngtodoany t
hingf orthebag.It'
sthatchasethat
l
andsherintheonesi tuati
onshepr omi sedher
si
stershe'
ll
nev erfindherselfi
nagai n.AllSuko
needsisawomanwho' l
lbel
ieveinhim asmuchas
heandhisbestf ri
enddo.Joi ntheirsepar ate
j
ourneysofdiscov eryastheirchannel l
i
f einanyway
possi
bletosurvive.
00
★★★★★★
SUKOLUHLE

Ithrowt hehoodi eov ermyhead, maki ngsur ethatit

cov ersmeandI ’m unr ecognizable.I ’m under
pressure.I t’
seithert hisorIloset hel oveofmyl i
fe
andIcan’ taffordthel atter.Ihadt ot akeapi ll
to
ensur eIdon’ tfreakoutandmesst hingsf ormy self.
Itbetternotbeahabi tbecauseIwoul dn’twantt o
relapse.Uni bost udent sareeasi ert ar getsorsoI
think.It
’slat eandwi ththerat eofcr imei nt hi
sf i
eld,I
mostpr obabl ywon’ tbet heonl yni ggert ryingtoget
l
ucky .Dammi tNosi formaki ngmedot his.Ican’t
blamehert houghbutr athermyl ov ef orherandl if
e
fornothav ingaf f
ordedmeal i
vingt hat’l
lenableme
topr ovi
def orher.Ihat ebeingadi sappoi ntment .I
meanshe’ sbeenpat ientwithmeandwe’ reaboutt o
reacht woy earstoget herwhi chi sanachi evement
forme.I ’venev erhadar el
ati
onshi pgopastay ear.
Shecoul dhav ehadanymanandy etchoset ostick
wi t
hanunempl oy eddr opoutl ikemy self.Ili
v efrom
handt omout handapar tf rom myl ooks, there’s
not hingspeci alaboutme.t hist hi ngst ressesme
becauseI ’
m at went y-
sev en- year -oldmanbutdon’ t
hav eany thi
ngt oshowf ori t.Ilivei nabackr oom at
myf riend’sy ardandbasi callyliveof fher .it
’s
emascul at i
ng.Ionl ystar tedl ivingwi thhert hi
sy ear
afterIwaschasedoutathomebecauseofmydr ug
addi ction.SheandNosi wer egr eathel ptome,
hav inghel pedmedeal wi tht hewi t hdrawal
sy mpt omsbecausewecoul dn’ taf fordr ehab.I t
’s
depr essingmor ebecauseIcan’ tr ememberat i
me
whenmyl if
ewor kedout .Al lIhav ear ej ustv i
sions
whi chnooneunder standanddon’ tseem t oev er
mat erial
ise.Iwasev encal ledadr eamerbymostof
myex es.Womenar ej ustcompl icat edatt imes.I ’
d
l
iket obel i
ev eI’
m agoodguywhoknowshowt o
treatawomanr i
ght.Ilistent ot hem, givethebest
head, Icleanaf termy selfandIcancook.Ont opof
thatIhav et helooks, butIguessi t’struet hatmoney
makest hiswor ldgoar ound.Ihav ewat chedal otof
YouTubev i
deosaboutt hisanddr ugasi de,Ican’t
believ eI’
m st oopingt hisl ow.
Me:
“Gi
vemey
ourphonebr
a.Let
’snotf
ight
.”
Hedi dn’tseemecomi ngsohe’sgenui nel
ysurpri
sed.
I
’mt ower i
ngov erhim,havi
ngcov eredmyf acewith
thehoodi esohepr obablycan’
tseemuch.Thewor st
thi
ngi sthatIrecognisehim.it
’sbadt hathisphone’s
theoneI ’mtakingbuthecomesf rom alavish
backgroundsoi t
’snothi
nghewon’ treplace.Theboy
j
ustgi vesmet hephoneonhi shandt henmov es
pastmenonchal antl
y.Whatthefuck? !
Irunbackhomewhi chisaboutt went yminutesaway .
Icalli
thomebecausePoppymakesi tt
hat.Nosiis
oneoft hefewwomenI ’vebeenwi thwhoar en’t
threat
enedbyourf r
iendship.Wehav ebeenf ri
ends
forages,beent ogetherthroughthickandt hinbut
hav eneverseeneachot herthatway .Poppyisthe
kindofcrazyIwoul dn’tbeabl etohandleand
besidesthat,Iseeherasal i
ttl
esister.I
’m morelike
abr ot
hertoherbecauseIt ookcar eofherwhenshe
fi
rstcameher eandt aughtherasmuchasIcoul d
aboutthingsthisside.
Poppy
:“Andt
hen?Whyar
eyoupant
ing?
”
Me:“Don’
task.Ineedy
out
owi
peev
ery
thi
ngof
fthi
s
phone.
”
Shewhistl
eswhenIhanditt
oher
.Ithi
nktherunI
tookfr
om thatsi
detoher
ehaswornthedrugof
f.
Shesquint
shereyesatmeandIknowwhat ’
s
coming.
Me:“Don’
task.Nosihasbeencomplai
ningabouther
phoneandouranniv
ersaryi
scomingup.IthoughtI
shoul
dgethersomething.
”
Poppy
:“Whowoul
dn’
twantanA30s.Goodchoi
ce.
”
Me:“Yoh,Ihopeshe’
sgoingt
otakei
teasyonme
af
terthi
s.Ngikhat
hel
e.”
Poppy:“
Butshe’
sendur
edyouf
ort
ool
ongchom.
I
’m nott
ryi
ngtoi
nsul
tyou.
”
Isi
gh.She’
sri
ght
.I’
vehadtodependonheratone
poi
ntandshedoesmoreformethanIforher
.
Poppy
:“Look,
Ihav
eani
dea.
”
Thelookonherfacetel
l
smeImi
ghtnotl
i
kei
tbut
I
’m walki
ngonthini
cehere.
Me:
“Tel
lme,
event
houghIdon’
tthi
nkI
’
lll
i
kei
t.
”
Poppy :
“ Youdon’treall
yhav eachoice.Aphone
won’tbeenought oshowNosi howmuchy ou
appreciateher.Thi
sgi gmi ghtact
uall
yensureyou
takeherout ,
byhera20i nch360°12Al aceand
throwinsomel i
ngerieinthere.
”
Me: “
HowlowdoIhavetost
oop?Thelastti
mey ou
spokeofagi
g,Iendedupsl
eepi
ngwit
haf ort
y-y
ear-
old.
”
Poppy:“
Butyousaidshewasti
ght
!Comeonand
thatwasli
kefi
veyear
sago.”
Me:“Andhowol
dwasI
?Iendedupget
ti
ngdumped
any
way .
”
Shelaughs,
wavi
ngmeoffwi
thherhand.Idon’
t
wanttoremembert
hatt
ime.
Poppy
:“Iwasspeaki
ngwi
thOki
nawaand-
Me:
“TheNiger
ian?Poppy
!Hav
en’
tyoubeenr
eadi
ng
t
henews?
”
Poppy:“
Argh,don’tbeapussy.Look,al
lyouneedis
total
kEngli
sh.We’ l
lbeat
tendi
ngaf ewprominent
meeti
ngskoPr oteaHotel
.Youknowt hoseonesof
thewho’sandwho’ sofMzansi.Nowourrol
eisto
networ
kindisguisethoughbecausewe’
ll
hav et
o
makesur ebalat
lhasightsoOkicandohisthi
ng.
”
Me:
“Whatt
hing?
”
Poppy:
“Credi
tcar
dschemi
ngofcour
se.I
’
llt
rai
nyou
i
nthatregar
d.”
Me:
“I’
m notgoi
ngt
ojai
lforcr
edi
tcar
dfr
aud.
”
Poppy:“Youwon’tgotoj
ail
.Relax.Yout
alkbusi
ness
atfi
rstt
heny oufl
ir
tandwala.Thosecor
porate
bi
tchesarelonel
yandadelectablemanli
keyoursel
f
i
sn’tonethey’
dwanttopasson.Theyhavemoney
whichiswhatyouneed.”
Me: “
Ital
lsoundstooeasytome.Howwi ll
weget
thosecards?Technol
ogyismoreadvancednow,
peoplebankfrom t
hei
rphones.Amissingcar
dcan
beblockedwithi
nseconds.”
Poppy :“
Yes, cel
lphones.Theystor
eever
ythi
ngon
them, eventheirbankpins.All
weneedisthei
rcloud
emai l
.I’
m notgoi ngtoboreyouwitht
hedetai
ls.The
realquesti
oni s,areyouin?”
Ishrug.Thepl
anisn’
tlucr
ati
vebutbeggar
sarenever
choosersanyway
.Shecl i
ckshert
ongueandstands
up.
Poppy
:“Thi
nkabouti
tbutdon’
ttakey
ourt
ime.
”
Andi t’
swhatIdowhenshe’ sl onggone.Theyhave
anideabuti t’
snotwel lplanned.Idon’twanttoput
my selfinany thingt hathasl oophol
es.Poppyis
reckless, i
mpul siveandnev erputsmucht hought
i
ntoany thing.She’ ssmar tyesbutitdoesn’tgo
beyondnumber s.Idon’tevenknowhowshe
survi
v esi nthest reetswhenshecanr unhermout h
l
ikethat .She’sal sost ubbornandt here’
snogetti
ng
betweenherandhermoney .
.
POPPY

Ilayinmybedwhi l
eli
steni
ngtoGi ven’
ssnor esas
backgroundmusictomyt hi
nking.Idon’
tt hi
nkalot.
Mysi st
ers25thbi
rt
hdayisjustapproaching.We’d
talkaboutsuchmil
est
ones.Somet imesIf eell
ike
sheknewherdaywascomi ngjudgingfrom how
she’
dtalkaboutcelebr
ati
ngherbir
thdays.Shespoke
ofgett
ingalicenseat18,t
hrowi
ngahugebashat
21thenhavingababyat23.Shewant edtoget
marri
edat25butnowshe’ snotheretohav eal
lof
that
.
I’
vebeenupal lnightthi
nkingofhowIcan
commemor ateit
.Iknowt hepartywil
lhaveatheme
ofherdesiredweddi ngandthat
’sgoingtobecostl
y
whichiswhyt hi
sgi ghastowor kout.Ical
lOki
seeingthatIcan’
tsleep.Hepicksupal most
i
mmedi atelyl
ikehe’sbeenexpect i
ngmycal l
.
Oki
:“Happybi
rt
hdayt
oZur
i.
”
Me:
“Your
emember
ed?
”
Isi
tupthengetofft
hebed, notwanti
ngtowakeGi
gi.
Ii
nsteadl
eav et
otheloungeandsitdown.Why’
she
j
ustbreat
hing?
Me:
“Oki
nawa?
”
Oki
:“I
’
m her
ebaby
.”
Me:
“Thenwhyar
en’
tyousay
ingany
thi
ng?
”
Oki
:“Poppy
,youknowhowmuchIl
ovedy
oursi
ster
.
Howareyoual
way
ssur
pri
sedwhenIr
ememberher
bi
rt
hday?
”
Isi
gh.
Me:“
I’
m sor
ryOki
.Butyouguyswerebarelyt
oget
her
f
orsi
xmonths.Youcan’
tfal
li
nlovethatsoon.
”
Oki
:“Lov
eisn’tati
met hi
ngPoppybuty
ou’
reachi
l
d
soyouwon’tunderst
and.
”
Me:
“I’
m notav
irgi
n,y
ouknow.
”
Oki
:“Don’
tevengot
her
e.Hav
eyouspokent
othat
boyofyour
s?Ishei
n?”
Me:“Yes.Hehadhi
sfi
rstt
hef
tlastni
ghtand
seemedf i
ne.
”
Oki
:“Hebet
ternotmessup.YouknowIdon’
tpl
ay
wit
hmymoneyo. ”
Me:“
Hewon’t
.I’
llmakesurehedoesn’
t.Youhaveto
st
opbei
ngscary
,nowhet hi
nksyou’
redangerous.
”
Oki:“
You’
ret
heonl
ywhodoesn’
t.Thr
eeweekshav
e
passednowPoppy
.”
Igr
imace.Howdi
ditpasssosoon?
Me:
“Ar
eyousur
e?”
Oki
:“Don’
tev
enthinkabouti
tMiamor.You’
ret
he
onewhogoesball
i
sticwhenIfi
ndot
hermeans.”
Me:“Doy ouevenknowwhatball
ist
icis?Itol
dy out
o
st
icktothestr
eetsbecauseEngl
i
shi sn’
tforyou.
St
opt r
yingtosoundsmart.
”
Oki
:“Stopdigr
essi
ng.Askt
hatboyt
olookaf
tery
our
sonthenI’
l
lsendsomeonetofet
chyou.
”
Me:“
Howdoy out
hinkZur
iwoul
dfeel
aboutt
hat
?
Youj
ustsai
dyoul
ovedherandy
et-
Oki
:“Don’
tstar
twi
thyourexcusesPoppy
.Don’
t
makemel osemypat
ience”
Me:“
Fine,
noneedtogetheavyonme.I
’
llbat
hhi
m
i
nthemorningt
hencal
lyou.
”
Ihanguponhim.Thisonethi
nkshecancont r
olme
butPoppydoeswhatshewants.Idon’
thaveparent
s
sonooneelsehastheri
ghttotel
lmewhatt odo.I
onlyhav
ethesef
ourasmyf amily
,that
’si
t.Iendup
taki
nganaponthecouchuntilGi
giwakesmeup.
Gi
gi:
“FoodPop”
Me:
“Nogoodmor
ning?
”
Hegi
ggleswhenImessuphi scur
lyl
ocksthengiv
es
meakissonbothcheeksforgoodmorni
ng.I’
m st
il
l
t
ir
edbuthust
ler
sdon’tsl
eep.
Wel iveinafiver
oomedhousei nthet ownship.I
t’
s
yourtypicalf
amilyhousethathast wobedr ooms, a
bathroom, l
oungeandki t
chen.Mysi ster’
sroom has
beenunt ouchedsinceshedi ed.Ionlygoi nthereto
cleanandnooneel seisal
lowed.If eel l
i
kemov i
ng
somet hingwouldbel i
kedeleti
ngapi eceofherandI
can’thav et
hat.I
’
m goingtokeephermemor yalive
forasl ongasIcan.
Nosi
:“Heboughtmeaphone!
”
Thenshescreamsandj umpsaround.See, thisi
s
j
ustthebegi
nningifSukocomesonboar d.Nosi i
s
l
ikeacheaperversionofme.ImeanI ’
m allaboutthe
moneysoshe’sal i
ttl
egolddi
gger.Shewant stobe
pamperedbutisalsogoodforSukoinaway .
Itol
dhimlongagothathemustnev ergoforgi
rl
s
l
ikemebuthedoesn’tli
sten.AndbymeImean
thosewholovemoney.Imakemyownv iawhatever
waypossi bleandifthisgigwor ks,Imightendup
expandingmybusi ness.Iwantt obuyasewi ng
machinet henattendsomewi gsewingcour se
tr
aini
ngsoIcandosomet hi
nglegalont heside.I’
m
ti
redofbei ngahawker .I’m notatanfansot his
alwayssi t
ti
nginthesun, wait
ingforcarst opassby
oruniversit
ystudentssot heycouldbuyt endstobe
exhausting.Igotdebtst opayandnowIf eelli
keall
myl i
veli
hoodgoest herebecauseIdon’ tseewhat
I’
m doingwi thmymoney .
Nosi
:“Ear
tht
oPoppy
?”
Me:
“Ohsor
ry.Heboughty
ouaphone?
”
Shecheer
ful
l
ynods.
Nosi:“
Ididn’
tthinkhewasli
steni
ngwhenI
complainedaboutmine.Iwaseventhi
nki
ngof
l
eavinghim becauseheneverbuysmeanythi
ngand
I’
vebeenpatient.”
Me:“
Youknowyouhaveparentsfort
hat,
right
?Suko
i
str
yingandweall
knowtherearenojobsinMaf.
We’
reall
str
uggl
i
ng.”
Sher
oll
sherey
es.
Nosi
:“He’
sjustl
azyandpi
cky.Itoldhi
m cl
eaners
ar
ewantedatmyj obandhedidn’tgof
orthat
.”
Me:“Heappli
edforthatandhasbeensendi
ngCVs
buthasn’
tgotanyt
hingbackyet
.He’st
ryi
ng.”
Nosi
:“Wel
l
,nothar
denough.
”
I
’
m cl
oset
orear
rangi
ngherf
acer
ightnow.
Me: “
Knowwhat ,getyourski
nnyassoutofmy
house.Theonlyreasonhe’sst
il
lwit
hy ouisbecause
helovesyou.Thatman’sahardwor kerbutyou’
ll
neverseethat
.”
Nosi
:“Ohreal
ly
?Whydoesn’
thebaski
nthesun
sel
l
inglol
l
ipopswi
thy
outhen?”
Suko:
“Real
l
yNosi
?That
’st
het
hanksI
’
m get
ti
ng?
”
Nosi
:“Ihavetogotomyj
obt
hathasUI
Fand
r
eti
rementpackage.
”
Me:“Yety
oucan’
tev
enbuyy
our
sel
fadecentphone
hoe.
”
Shecli
ckshert
ongueandst
rut
sout
.Wt
fjust
happened?
Me:
“Andt
hen?
”
Her
unsahandonhi
sfacewi
thasi
gh.
Suko:
“Ourr
elat
ionshi
pishangi
ngbyat
hread.
”
Me:
“Buty
ouwer
ehappyj
usty
est
erday
.”
Suko:“
Iknow.Iknow.She’sbeenl i
kethissinceshe
cameov eraft
eryouleftl
astni
ght.Ithoughtthe
phonewoul dcheerherupandthat’
swhyIgav ei
tto
herear
ly.”
Me:“Andshewasscreaminghappi
lywhenshe
camehereandnowshe’sflexi
ngonus?Isshe
hor
monalorbipol
ar?Yousureyoudidn’
tknockher
up?”
Suko:“
Ofcour senot.Ican’
taf
for
dmysel
fsowhy
wouldItakethatri
skknowingIwon’
tbeabl
eto
aff
ordachild?”
Me:“Thatwasweir
d.Anyway
,Ineedy
out
olook
af
terGigit
oday
.I’
m goi
ngtoOki.
”
Suko:
“Thr
eeweekshav
epassedal
ready
?”
Inodandhechuckl
es.
Suko:
“Goodl
uck.ComeGi
ven.
”
Hehopsof ft
hehighchairthentakeshishand.My
boyneverpaysat
tent
ionunl esshe’sbei
ng
addr
essed.Heprobablydidn’tnot
iceNosiwasher
e.

★★★★
Ther
e.Pleasedoli
ke,commentandsharef
orboost
.
Thestor
ywi l
lof
fi
cial
l
ybegi
nont he02ndSept
ember
:)
ONE
★★★★
POPPY

Oki l
i
v esinadoubl estoreyhouseinRivi
era.Every
ti
meIl ookatit
swal lsit
’sl
ikeIcanalmostseet he
bloodt hathadtobeshedt ohaveitst
anding.Iknow
hedidn’ tsweati
t,probablysol
dsomeone’ sdaughter
forit
.Menl i
kehimt hri
veintheNorthWestbecause
thegov ernmentisshi t
.Cri
minalsgetawaywi t
hal ot
andt heyhav emostoft hemeni nblueont hei
r
payroll.
Oki:
“Icanfeel
thewheel
stur
ningi
nyourpr
ett
yhead
fr
om here.
”
Me:
“Ar
eyoust
il
lsel
l
ingpeopl
e?”
Oki
:“It
oldy
ouI’
mt hemi
ddlemanPoppyandIhat
e
whenyouaskaboutt
hat
.”
Icl
ickmyt ongueandt
aketheglassofwinehe’s
pouredforme.He’sabadr
omant icbutdoest
ry.
He’stoplessandhashi
shairt
iedinabunont opof
hi
shead.Il
overunningmyhandthr
oughthathai
r.I
al
soli
kethatheletsmemessaroundwithhi
sbeard.
Li
kenow,I’
veplai
teditsohel
ooksfunny
.
Me:“I
’
mjustaski
ng.Ther
e’ssomeoneI
’
m wi
l
li
ngt
o
t
rade.
”
Oki
:“Whomessedwi
thy
ounow?
”
Me:“Suko’
sgirl
fr
iend.Shewasbusysay
ingshitand
l
efthi
mf eel
ingli
keit.She’
sbecomi
nganuisance.”
Oki
:“Don’
tinv
olv
eyour
sel
finhi
sbusi
ness.He’
sa
gr
ownman. ”
Me:
“Mxm,
younev
erhel
p.”
Oki:“
Itol
dyouIdon’
twantanybl
oodont
hosesof
t
hands.Comesitonmylap.
”
Me:“I
’
mf i
neher
e,thanky
ou.Let’
stal
kaboutt
he
pl
an.Hav
ey oui
denti
fi
edanytar
gets?
”
Oki:
“ Igotaguestl
i
stsowe’
renowworki
ngon
fi
ndingoutthei
rphonemodel
s.Howf
arareyouwi
th
t
hecl oningsof
tware?
”
Me:“Cominggood.Wi
l
lyougivemethatadvance
now?Joosubswantst
orepossessmyloungesui
te.
Pl
easeOki
.”
Oki
:“IgaveyouR5000j
ustl
astweek.Whatdi
dyou
dowiththemoney?”
Me:
“Ihav
edebt
sOKandi
twasn’
tenough.
”
Oki
: “
It
’l
lneverbeenoughunt
ily
oulear
nhowt o
managey ourmoneyPoppy.You’
real
waysblowingit
onshitthencomecryingt
omel i
keIdon’
ttakecare
ofyou.”
Me:
“Soi
t’
sano?
”
Oki
:“Yes”
Me:“Comeondaddy,pl
ease.I
’
m onlyt
hreemont
hly
i
nst
alment
sawayfrom pay
ingitof
f.
”
Oki
:“Gi
vemet
her
ecei
ptandI
’
llpayi
tmy
sel
f.
”
If
rown.Whatt
hehel
l
?
Me:
“Youdon’
ttr
ustme?
”
Oki
:“Wi
thmoney
?Yes.
”
Sonofabi
tch.
Me:
“Fi
ne.Iwantt
ogobackhome.Imi
ssGi
gi”
Oki
:“Fi
nishupsowecanpl
ay.
”
Me:
“Youputapi
l
linher
e?”
I
ttast
esal
it
tl
efunnyandf
rom hi
seager
ness,
Iknow
myhunchi
sn’
twrong.
Oki
:“I
t’
sal
i
ttl
etool
atet
oask,
don’
tyout
hink?
”
Hesmir
ks,smir
ksl
i
kewhathe’
sjustdonei
sri
ght
.
Howdarehe?
Me:
“Youal
way
sdot
his!
”
Oki:
“It
’st
heonlywayy
oudon’
tbackout
.Itmakes
t
hingseasi
er.
”
Heshr ugswi t
hnocar ei
nt hewor ld.Ican’tbel
ieve
thisdar kskinnedman!I ’m scowlingunt i
lthepill
startstokicki n.Likeusual,Iactunaf f
ectedand
i
gnor et heti
ngl i
ngont heladysout h.He’swat ching
mei ntently,waiti
ngf ormet ogett othepoi ntwhereI
can’tfightit
.Her evel
sinthosemoment s.I’
m
thinki
ngofcut ti
ngaweekt ot woday sifhe
cont i
nuesliket hi
s.Whywoul dIbackoutonan
arrangementwe’ v ehadforay earnow?
Me:
“Wh…whendi
dIev
erbackout
?”
Myl i
psf eeldryormaybethat’sther
easonIgi ve
my selff
orlicki
ngthem.Ifindmyhandsr unni
ngover
mybodyandIcan’ thel
pi t
.Ihavemyt highs
clenchedandIkeeppr essingthem t
oget her
,lov
ing
thesensat i
on.I’
m pool
ing,Icanfeel
itandheknows
thatjudgingbythecockysmi rkonhisface.
Me:
“Younof
un”
Hechuckl
es.
Oki
:“I
’
m al
lfunbaby
.Comet
odaddy
”
Ibit
emyl ipandshakemyhead.I ’
m goi ngt ofi
ght
thi
sunt i
l Ican’tanymore.He’senjoyingt his.If
eel
hotandwav i
ngmyhandonmyf acei sn’thelpi
ng.My
handisn’tausef ulf
ansoIstopandi nsteadt akeoff
myt op.Myni pplesarepai
nfull
yer ectandhav eme
feel
ingliker emov i
ngthedamnni ppleringsbecause
I’
m dying.
Me:
“Youwi
n”
Becausehe’sbeenwaitingtoheart hat
.Iwalktohim
wit
hwobbl ylegsandsitonhi slap.Hefeast
sonmy
ni
pplesli
keast ar
vedanimal ,t
hemoansescapi ng
i
nvolunt
ari
ly.Iwanttobet ouchedev er
ywhere.The
mom JeanI ’m wear i
nghasmehotandbot hered.I
needaf andownt hereorhi stongue, Idon’ tknow.
Hisot herhandgoest omyi nnert highwhi l
etheot her
i
scuppi ngmybr east .He’sagoodmul ti
t asker ,Igive
himt hat.Heunbut t
onsmyj eansandasi ghofr el
ief
escapemyl ips.Ihav egoosebumpsal lov erandI
don’tknowwhatt odowi thmy sel f
.Ikeepscr atching
mybal dhead, halfwi shingI’dgr ownhai rsoIcoul d
pulli
t.Whenhi st humbr unsonmybud, If eelmy
toescur lasmyi nsidescl ench.I ’
m comi ng!AndI
hatewhenIdon’ tlastl ong.Ilovepr ol
ongedor gasms,
theymakemef eel l
ikeI ’
m cli
mbi ngmountKi l
amj aro
andt heclimaxi si tspeak.I ’
m abouteasymoney ,
not
orgasms.Thi siswhyIhat ewhenaguyknowsal lmy
weakspot s.Imi ghtendupf all
ingi nl
oveandt hat’s
destructiveoni tsown.I ’
m abi gPhor af ansoI ’m on
the‘l
ov eishel l
’tipandIwantheav en.
Oki
:“Tast
eyour
sel
f”
Me:
“St
opwi
tht
henast
inessandf
uckmeal
ready
!”
Oki
:“Ofcour
semi
amor
.”
Idon’
tknowwhenhet
ookof
fmyj
eansbutmycum
i
salloverhisbeard.Ist
il
lcan’
ttel
lwhet
herhegives
goodheadbecauseIwast oohornyt
onoti
ce.Iknow
hehashisgoodday sbutIdon’
tknowabouttoday.
Myhandspar tmyl egswiderandIal
mostcryatthe
cont
act.Ihatehimf ort
his!
.
SUKOLUHLE

Giveni sahappychi l
d.Itdoesn’ttakeal ott ogethi m
hippy.Yougi vehimf ood, pl
aybui ldi
ngbl ockswi t
h
him, f
or cehimtonapt henbat hhim whenhewakes
upandhe’ sgood.He’ stheki ndofki dthat ’l
lmake
youwantt omakesomeone’ sdaught erpr egnantbut
I’
mr ealisti
csoI’l
l neverfall
intothatt empt ation.I
stil
lcan’tbeli
eveIwast edmyef f
or t
swi thNosi .Igot
heranupgr adefrom theMobi celsheusedbutshe
hadt heaudaci t
yt olookdownonus.I t
’snott hefirst
ti
meshe’ sdonet hatandpr obablywon’ tbet helast.I
hatet hatIlovehersomuchbecausedumbmecan’ t
i
magi neal ifewithouther.IknowIneedt ohust l
e
hard,getagoodpay i
ngper manentj obsoIcan
makeherhappy .Amanhast obeabl et otakecare
ofhi swomanandmybei ngunempl oyedspi t
sonmy
manhood.I t
’sSat urdayt odaysoshe’ llcomeof f
wor kearl
y.Nosi wor ksasanadmi ncl erkatthe
publichospi
talandr arel
ywor ksonweekends.She
doeswhent here’saneedwhi chusual lyhappens
onceamont h.She’sper manentt hat’swhyi t’
seasy
forhertobrag.Shedeci dedt orenov ateatherhome
somostofhersal ar ygoest here.Idon’ twantt o
thinkofhowshe’ llbewhenshe’ sdonewi ththat.
She’smoneysmar t,somet hi
ngPoppycoul dgr i
p
from herbutmybestf ri
enddoesn’ tcare.Poppy
takescareofGi gi,putshi mt oday car eandbuy shis
clothesbutshe’sal soashopahol ic.Ioncebr ought
thatupandal mostgotst rangledt odeat h.
Gi
gi:
“FoodSoso”
Me:
“Youhungr
y?”
Henodswi thayawn.Itakehi
shandt henwegot o
themainhouse.Idon’thavef
oodi nmyr oom
anywaysoI ’
m hopi
ngPoppycookedbef oreshelef
t.
Thankful
lyshedidsoIwar mitup.I’
l
lhav etocook
him di
nnerbecausethere’
snowayshe’ scomi ng
backt oni
ght.She’
ll
comebef or
eanyofusisup
tomor rowmor ni
ngthenfor
ceustogotochurch,
me
actuall
ybecauseGigilov
esSundayschool
.Ihand
himt heplat
eandhet hanksme.
Nosi:“Baby,
I’
m back.Mypicturej
ustgota100l
oves
onFacebook.Iknowi t
’sbecauseofmynewphone.I
shouldtakenudesnehbabyandmay beopenan
Inst
agram accountbecauseIhavethebody.
”
Me: “
Youcandothat
.YouknowhowIlov
ethatbody
ofyours.I
’
mvol
unteer
ingt
obeyourphot
ogr
apher
even.
”
Shegr
insandbl
owsmeaki
ss.
Nosi
:“Gr
eat
.I’
m goingtother
oom.I’
l
lbereadyand
wai
ti
ngsoleavethebratandr
ushher
e.”
She’sluckyPoppyi sn’
ther e.Shewouldhav ewiped
thesmi r
kof fherfacewithasmack.Shedoesn’ t
playwheni tcomest oherson.Ican’ tbeli
eveNosi
call
edhim abr atwhenhe’ ssuchasweetboy .I
’m
thankf
ul nowt hatGigionlypaysattenti
onwhen
spokent obecauseIcan’ timaginehowhe’ dbe
feel
ingatthei nsul
t.Igotot helounge,swit
chtheTV
onandchanget
oacar
toonchannel
.
Me:“ComeeatbytheTV.I
’
llbeback,
OK?Ihav
eto
hel
psisNosiwi
thsomethi
ng.”
HenodsanddoesasIsay .Ifi
ndthewomantaki
ng
pi
cturesbythemirr
or.She’si
namat chi
ngbr
aand
pantysetwhichI
’
venev erseen.
Me:
“Youwentshoppi
ng?
”
Wher
edoesshegett
hemoney
?
Nosi
:“Notr
eal
l
y.Comet
akepi
ctur
es”
Shehandsmet hephone, morel i
ket hrowsi tatme
andstartsposing.Itakethepi ctures,singingher
complimentsbecauseIdohav eabeaut ifulgi
rlf
ri
end
who’salsosexywi that onedbody .She’sso
photogenicsoanyangl emakest hepictureslook
good.Notbl owingmyownhor nbuther
photographeralsoknowswhathe’ sdoi ng.The
bedroom onlyhasabed, dressingt abl
eandone
chai
rbutatl eastIhaveacomf ort
ersetwi t
h
matchingpill
owcases.Poppyboughtt hem f r
om
Homechoi ceandt hey ’
reprobabl ytheonl ythings
she’
sf ul
lypaid.
Nosi
:“They
’regr
eat
.Thankyoubaby.It
hinkIshoul
d
doonetopless,
whatdoyouthi
nk?”
Me:“Iguess.Imeani
t’
saboutyouandwhet
her
you’
recomf or
tabl
ewi
ththat
.”
Shesmi
l
es.
Nosi:
“You’
reagoodman.Anygi
rlwoul
dbehappyt
o
haveyou.
”
Me:
“Thanky
oul
ove.Your
eady
?”
Nosi
:“I
’
lldoi
tsl
owsoy
oucancapt
ureev
ery
moment.”
Me:
“Soundsl
i
keagoodi
dea.
”
Nosi
:“Ishoul
dhav
ebor r
owedPoppy
’sspeakersoI
canpl
aysomemusi c.
”
Me:“I
magi
neasongthenI
’
lltakeasl
owmot
ion
vi
deoandt
henedi
ttoaddthemusic.
”
Nosi
:“Ah,
soundswonder
ful
.Thanky
ou”
Sheshouldhavet
hankedmel i
ket
hiswhenIgother
thi
sphoneinst
eadofspi
tti
ngonmyf ace.She’
s
sweetbutsometi
mesitfeel
sli
keshe’
staking
adv
ant
ageofmybenev
olence.
Me:
“Whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
”
She’
sabouttotakeof
fherpant
y.Shef
rowns,
fol
dingherar
ms.
Nosi
:“I
t’
scal
l
edgoi
ngwi
tht
hef
low.
”
Me: “Whatfl
owwheny ou’
regett
ingall
nakedf orthe
gram.It’
syourfi
rstt
imesohavesomedecencyand
l
etthem gettoseeyouwit
hsomei tem ofcl
othing
on.Unlessyouhavesomeguywhowant syouto
sendhim nudes.
”
Nosi
:“Gi
vememyphone.Congr
atul
ati
onsf
or
r
uini
ngthemoment
.”
IgooutsoIcancheckonGi gi.Idon’tli
keleaving
him alonefortoolongbecausehe’ sst i
l
l j
usta
toddler.If
indhim sleepingont hecouchwhi l
e
holdingtheTVr emot e.Ipickhim upt hentakehim
tobed.Nosi isbeginningtof r
ustrateme.She’ s
beginningtochangeandIdon’ tthinkIlikewhoshe’s
transit
ioni
nginto.
I
tsuckst
hatIl
oveherbecauseIcan’
tthi
nkbey
ond
her
.Ij
ustneedt
ogetaj
obsoIcant
akecar
eofher
.
Nosi:“
I’
mleavi
ng.I
’l
lprobabl
yseey
ouonMonday
becauseI’
l
lbebusytomorrow.”
Me:
“So,
you’
renotsl
eepi
ngov
er?
”
Nosi:“Howwheny ou’
rebabysi t
ti
ng?I’
m notabout
toplaystepmom Suko,WhileuPoppyeneisbusy
gett
inghergutsrear
ranged.I’
m notcompensati
ng
forherlackofr
esponsibi
li
ty.
”
Me:“
WhyunjeNosi
?Whathavewedonet
oyout
hat
hasy
ousuddenl
ysohor
ri
blet
ous?”
Nosi:“
I’
mf edupSuko,t
hat’
swhat
’sup.Ihavet
o
spendallmymoneyEkhayaandbelef
twithonl
y
tr
ansportmoneybutIhaveaman.Gooddickdoesn’
t
paythebil
lsSuko!
”
Me:“
Ngi
yazamaNosipho!It
’snoteasyget
ti
ngaj
ob
wi
thamatr
iccer
ti
fi
catenje.
”
Nosi:“
Thenj
oinPoppyonhervendorbusi
ness,
becomeaherball
i
fedist
ri
but
or,dosomething,
Anythi
ng!
”
Me:
“It
hinki
t’
sbesty
oul
eav
e.Gi
gii
ssl
eepi
ng.
”
Nosi
:“Iwon’
tal
way
sbepat
ientSuko,
remember
t
hat.
”
Shecl i
ckshert ongueandl eav es.Shebasi callyjust
call
edmeusel ess.Butshe’ sr i
ght ,I’
m notdoi ng
enought osust ai nmy self.Iam busi nessmi nded, I’v
e
beenwor kingondev elopingmyowncel l
phone
model wher ePoppywi ll
dev elopi t
ssof tware.I’m
mor eahar dwar epersonsoIcanf i
xany thi
ngf rom
keypadcel lphonest of ri
dges.Idohel pherout
aroundt hehouseandev eni nt histwor oomed
houseI ’m stayingin,theki tcheni sfil
ledwi thol d
applianceswhi chIr epaired.Iwant edt ost udy
mechani cal engineeringbutdr oppedoutwhi ledoi ng
N4.Myl i
fesor tofwentdownhi l
lfrom t here.Iwas
datingthisot herwomanwhoconv incedmet odr op
outandi nst eadwor katherf ather’sst ore.Ididf or
l
owwageswhi chal lwentt oher .Byt het imengi vuk’
emaqandeni ,Icouldnol ongergoback.Iwi shIcoul d
blameherf orthatbutI ’mt heonewhodeci dedt o
l
isten.Shewascont rolli
ngandI ’dfailedt oseet hat .
.
POPPY
Icanbarelyhidethel
impasIgetoutofthecar.Oki
for
getsthataweeki salongti
me,healwaysfucks
l
ikeit
’shislastti
medoingit
.It
’sar
ound5am.
Iunlockthedoorandsl
owl
ywalktomyroom.Ican
sti
l
lf eel
thi
sdamnman’sri
fl
einsi
deofme.
Gigiisn’ther
e,probablysl
eepingatSuko’sroom
whichmeansNosi di
dn’tsleepover
.I’
mt oolazyto
gof etchmyboysoIt akeanapi nstead.I
’v
esetmy
alar
mt owakemeupi nahourandhal fsoIcan
makebr eakf
ast.Idon’tt
hinkI’l
lbegoingtochurch
today .Godwillf
orgiv
eme.
Thehourpasseswayt oosoonandIhav etofor
ce
my sel
ftowakeup.Thehouseal soneedssome
cl
eaningsoI’l
lprobablydothatl
atertoday
.I’
m
exhaustedbutthere’
snowayI ’
m goingbacktobed.
Gi
gi:
“Mommy
!”
Her
unsandhugsmyl
egs.Imi
ssedt
hisboy
.
Me:
“Youhungr
y?”
Henods.Ipi
ckhi
m up,
puthi
m onahi
ghchai
rthen
f
ini
shupwit
hbr
eakf
ast
.Imadehi
m someoat
meal
wit
hfr
uit
s.
Suko:
“You’
reback”
Me:“
Duh.Goputonashi
rtandcomeeat
,thi
sisn’
t
mancave”
Hechuckl
esandf
lex
eshisbi
cepsf
ordr
amat
ic
ef
fect
s,maki
ngmeroll
myeyes.
Suko:
“So,
howwasi
t?”
We’r
ehav
ingbreakf
astwi
thGigi
ont
hecar
petwho’
s
pl
ayi
ngwit
hhistrai
nandt
racks.
Me:“Sonofabit
chputVi
agrainmydr i
nkandacted
l
iket
here’
snothi
ngwrongwit
ht hat
.Icoul
dn’
t
cont
rolmysel
fSukoandIhat
enothav i
ngcontr
ol!
”
Suko:
“Agai
n?Di
dn’
thepr
omi
senott
odoi
t?”
Me:“Hewant
smetodrophi
m deadbutIcan’
t.I
needhi
smoneyandt
hescamspayout.”
Suko:
“Notunl
esswemakeourdr
eam comet
rue.
”
Me:
“Thesmar
tphone?
”
Henods.
Me:“That’
ll
alsoneedmoney .Cont
inuedoi
ngyour
r
esearch.Youmustopenani nvest
mentaccountso
wecansav eupforit
.It
’l
lneedpati
ence.
”
Hesi
ghsandnods.
Me:“I
sNosiput
ti
ngpr
essur
eony
ou?Icansor
tthat
bi
tchout
.”
Heshakeshi
shead.
Suko:“I
’
m almostthi
rt
yPoppyandy etther
e’s
nothi
ngIhavetoshowf orthat.I
’
v ebeen
unemployedfort
hreeyears.Idon’tknowwhyshe
evengavemeachance.I ’
m af ai
lure.”
Me: “
You’renotafai
lureSukoandageisj usta
number .Don’
tputanypressureonyourself
,
str
essingwon’thel
p.Howabouty oujoinmeasa
hawker?Youcansel lamakipki
porsomet hing.
Anythi
ngsoy oucangetsomesor tofincomeeach
day.Youcansitonanot hercor
ner.
”
Suko:
“Nosial
sosuggestedt
hat.Iguessi
twon’thur
t.
I
’l
lsel
lmyfamousvetkoekwit
hmi ncebythet
urf.
”
Ismi
l
e.
Me: “
See?It
’ssomet hing.Keepinmindthatyou’r
e
doingitf
oryourprojectandnotNosi.Weshoul d
nowwor konthepr ototype.I
’
dsayweshoul dfind
sponsorsbutIknowy oudon’twantany
oneelse
taki
ngcredi
t.
”
Suko:
“Youknowmet
oowel
l
.”
Ichuckl
eandt
akehi
shand.
Me:
“It
’sgoi
ngt oworkout
.Itwon’
thappennowbut
i
twi
ll
.You’l
lrai
setheMncwabenamehi ghup!
”
Suko:
“Thanky
oubabe.
”

*
***
*
Commentsandshar
eswi
l
lbemuchappreci
ated.
Buckl
eup,t
hisj
our
neymi
ghtgetcr
azy
!:)
TWO
★★★★
SUKOLUHLE

I’
vebeenav endorf oraweeknowandIcan’ t
compl ainmuch.I tkeepsmebusyandatl eastIgo
homewi t
hsomet hing.Poppycamet hr
oughf orme
withst ockbutmadei tclearI’
l
lhav et opayherback.
She’sagoodf r
iendandIappr eciat eher.Idon’t
knowwhyI ’
venev erthoughtoft his.Ihaven’tseen
Nosi sinceshel eftlastweekandherphonet akes
met ov oi
cemai l
.Imi sshersomuchandIwi shwe
couldjustt alkaboutt his.Idon’trememberdoi ng
anythingt hatmi ghthav eupsether .Igotheraphone
forGod’ ssake, how’ sthatnotenough?
It
’sFri
day.I
’m hopingI’
l
lgetmanycustomersplus
i
t’sthefi
ft
eenthsot hey’
ret
hosewho’vebeenpaidor
who’sparentshavebeenpaid.Mostofmymar ket
areschoollear
ners.
Poppy
:“Youst
il
lgamef
ort
hepl
an?
”
Me:
“Ofcour
seIam.Whendowedot
his?
”
Poppy:“Nextweek.Oki
iscomi
ngoverar
ound6pm
toni
ght.Wil
lyoubether
e?Hewantstoustor
unover
thefi
nerdetai
ls.
”
Me:
“I’
l
lbet
her
e.”
Poppy
:“Ar
eyouOK?St
il
lst
ressi
ngaboutNosi
?”
Me:“Herphone’
sst
il
ltaki
ngmet
ovoi
cemai
l
.May
be
sheblocked.
”
Poppy:“
Checkherinst
a.Yousai
dshewant
edt
o
takepi
ctur
esfort
hat,r
ight
?”
Inod.I
t’
sbeenf r
ustr
ati
ngformeandt hisotherni
ght,
Ialmostcr
iedwatchi
ngoldpict
uresofus.Ifeelli
ke
thethr
eadthat’
sbeenholdi
ngourrel
ationshiphas
beencut.I
tall
happenedtoosoon.
Poppy
:“Don’
tov
ert
hinki
t.Seey
out
oni
ght
”
We’renotinthesamecorner.I
’m sel
li
ngatanot her
str
eet,al
ongwi t
htwootherhawkers.Idov etkoeks,
amakipkip,
niknaksandsweets.May beintimeI ’
ll
getmor estockbutf
ornow,it’
swhatI’m pushing.
“
Tint
o!”anannoy
ingv
oiceshout
s,maki
ngmesuck
myt eeth.Ilovemyf amil
yorusedt ounti
ltheyt hrew
meoutandnev erev encall
ed.Ir emembercal l
ingmy
fatheraf t
erIwascl eanedup, beggingthem toletme
comebacksoIdi dn’
thavet ost r
essPoppy .Het old
met omanupandl eavethem al one.Mymot her
didn’tpickupandMosanev ercamet ocheckupon
me.Ioncet houghtwewer ecl osebutl i
feshowed
meot herwise.She’sworking, unli
keme.She
foll
owedourf ather’
sfootstepsandbecamean
account ant.She’sdoingheri nternshi
pnow.
Mosa:
“It
’sr
eal
l
yyou.
”
Me:
“Ar
eyoubuy
ingany
thi
ngmysi
ster
?”
Shelaughs,shaki
ngherheadt
hencl
apsherhands
dramati
call
y.
Mosa:“You’
remoreretar
dedt
hanZel
da.Maki
pki
p
Mara?ComeonTinto.”
Me:“Fi
rst
ly,don’
tcallmethat.Secondl
y,you’
renot
goi
ngtotalkaboutherli
ket hat
,she’
solderthany ou
soshowsomer espect
.Atleastyenasheactually
cal
l
sandhasbeenkeepi ngincontact,
unli
key ou.”
Mosa:
“I’
vebeenbusy
,bei
nganaccount
anti
sn’
t
easy
.Isthi
soneofy
ourpl
otst
ofeedy
our
addi
cti
on?”
Me: “
Getoutofmyfaceifyou’
renotbuy
ingsist
er.I
t
shouldn’
tmatt
erwhatIdowithmymoney ,I
’
m notat
yourhomesophumakim. ”
Mosa:“Seeingt
hatyou’
rewor
king,
youshoul
d
repl
aceallappl
i
ancesyousol
dekhayasoyoucan
buyyournextfi
x.”
Me:
“I’
m notgoi
ngtobet
oldbyyouhowt
ospend
mymoney,nowleav
emealone.
”
Shegi
ggl
es.
Mosa:
“Youhav
eacust
omer
.Her
e’saR100,
onme.
”
Shet akesitoutofherpurseandt hrowsi
tatme.Of
courseIpi ckitup,Iwantt
obuyaf l
ashmachi
nesoI
cansel lair
ti
meandel ectr
ici
ty,
evenatourhome.I
’m
workingt owardsthat.
Gi
rl
:“Hi
,canIhav
eaR10sweet
s.”
Me:“Ofcoursesi
si.I
t’
s50cf
oral
lexceptf
or
champions,
they’
reR1each.
”
Shenodsandt
akest
hem.
Gi
rl
:“Thanky
ou.You’
rehandsome”
Theshegi
ggl
esshy
ly,
looki
ngdown.
Gi
rl
:“I
’
m sor
ryabut
ibuty
ouar
e.”
Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“Thanky
ou.
”
Ast heday sgoeson, I
’m ablet oputbehi ndmy
alt
er cat i
onwi thmybl oodsi ster.Attheendoft he
day ,she’sf amilyandmay bei t
’sgoodt hattheycut
meOFF.Nooner eall
ybel i
ev edinmet hereless
Zelda.Isomet i
mesr egrethowIt reatedheri nthe
pastbecauseshenev erheldi tagainstme.She’ s
l
ivinghappyandawayf rom t here.Homewasonl y
toxicf ormewhenIdi dn’tgetsuppor t.Theysentme
toUJorsot heythought.Ibecameadj whenIgot
there, par t
iedli
kethere’
snot omor rowandchowed
allthemoneyt heysent.ThenIwentbackhome
becauseIcoul dn’
tsustainthatf astli
f e.Iwentt othe
l
ocal collegeforITandj ustwhenmyl ifeseemedt o
hav eagl impseoflight,Idroppedout .Idon’tknow
whyIl istenedtoher ,
myl i
fewoul dhav eprobably
wor kedout .I’
veranoutofchanceswi thmyf amil
y
andwhoknowswhenI’
llr
unoutwi
thPoppy
.She
won’
tmaint
ainmefor
ever.
.
POPPY

Oki
:“R80000Poppy
?Ar
eyouf
uckenmad?
”
He’senraged,hi
snosehavi
ngtur
nedpi
nkandhi
s
eyesinsli
ts.He’
smad,Icanseei
tandcanal
most
feelhi
sboili
ng.
Me: “
It
’s100%leather
, comeon.Lookathowlovel
y
theymakemyl ounge.It’
sexactl
ywhatthi
sroom
neededtobringi
ttoli
fe.Andy oucan’
tsayyou’
renot
enjoy
ingsit
ti
ngthere,comeon. ”
Oki:“That’sbesi
desthepoint
.Yout ookthem on
credi
t,whichmeans22%mor eont opofthe80k.
That’
sR97600whi chisalmostaR100k.Howdi d
youev engetthem becauseone,
y oudon’thavea
paysli
p,letal
oneajoborgoodcr editfort
hat
mat t
er.”
Igr
imace,
scr
atchi
ngmyhead.Whydoesal
loft
hat
mat
ter
?
Me:“Uh,
Ihav
emyway
s.Ar
eyougoi
ngt
ohel
por
not
?”
Oki
:“Youliedandsai
dyou’
relef
twi
ththreemonths.
You’
veonlypaidthr
eemonthsandyouraccounti
sin
ar
rears.I
t’
salotofmoney!
”
Me: “
Butwe’reworkingakere.Theplanisfool
proof.
We’l
ljustneedtobesleekandensur eitdoesn’
t
backfi
re.Si
nceI’mthebrainsbehindit
,I’
m gett
ing
60%oft heproceedi
ngs.”
Oki
:“Andyourf
ri
end?It
’s60%ifyou’
repay
inghi
m.
You’
retheonewhobroughthi
m onboard.
”
Me:“
Yes,ofcourse.I
’
llt
ake70%t
hengi
vehi
m 20%
whi
l
ey outake30%.”
Oki:“Nono.You’ renottaki
ngt hati
fI’
m payingy our
arrearsplusinstal
lment.I
’l
ltake60%t henyout wo
willspreadthe40%.Thi swil
l t
eachyout ohandle
yourmoney .Ihavetopaymymenont opoft hatso
that’
smebei ngov er
lygenerous.Howmucht imedo
wehav ebeforetheycomeback? ”
Me:“
OhGigishoul
dbeher
esoonandSukosi
ncei
t’
s
al
most6pm.Why ?
”
Oki
:“Youknowwhy
”
Me:
“I’
m st
il
lsor
e.”
Oki
:“Youli
kecomi
ngupwi
thexcuseseh.Youknow
t
hat’
salie.
”
Ichuckl
e,he’
l
lhav
etowai
t.
Me:“YouknowhowIl
oveseei
ngy
out
alkbusi
ness?
I
ttur
nsmeon. ”
Ipul
lhi
sbear
dandhesmi
l
es.
Oki
:“Forr
eal
?”
Inodwi
thabi
tli
p.
Me:
“Il
ovef
ocusedki
ngs,
youshoul
dknowt
hat
.”
Oki
:“Soy
oul
oveme?
”
I
’m notal
i
arsoinst
eadofrepl
yi
ngVerbal
l
y, Ikiss
hi
m.Hekissesmeback,r
elaxi
ngint
othekiss.I
br
eakitwhenhe’
stryi
ngt
opullmesoIcansi ton
hi
m.Notonmycouches.
Me:“
Gigi
wil
lbeheresoon.Wecanhav
eal
i
ttl
e
someint
hecaraf
terourmeet
ing”
Themusi cofhistranspor ti
ssoloudt hati
t’
smaki ng
ourroofvibr
ate.IboughtGi giearplugsfort
his
reasonbecausel i
steningtomusi cathighvolumes
maydamagehi sear s.Ioncespoket othedri
v er
.He
onlystoppedplayi
ngi tthatloudforaweekt hen
wentbackt othisearpi er
cingmusic.
Iwaitf
orhim att
hedoor,feel
ingOki
’seyesonmy
butt
.I’
m weari
ngboyfri
endjeansbutthi
sguyst
il
l
star
esasifthey’
recl
i
ngingtomybut t.
Gi
gi:
“Pop!
”
Hehugsmylegswhi
lelooki
ngupatmewithagr
in.I
cr
ouchandki
sshisf
orehead,messi
nguphi
scur
ls.
Me:
“Baby
.Howwascr
èche?
”
Heshr
ugs.
Gi
gi:
“Bor
ing.
”
Me:
“Ha!Andaf
ter
car
e?”
Hegri
ns,
good.I
’dbef
umingifhe’snotenj
oying
bot
hwhenI’
m payi
ngsuchaheftyamount.Idon’
t
mindbecausehe’
smysonandIwantt hebestf
or
hi
m.Het el
lsmeaboutit
,wordsmixedwi t
hhis
babbl
i
ngbutIconcludeheenjoy
edit.
Gi
gi:
“Food”
Me:
“Di
dn’
tyoueatataf
ter
car
e?”
Heshakeshishead.Iknowhe’slyi
ngbecausemy
babyl
ovesfood.Imakehim cerealsi
nceI’
mlazy
.
Okii
sstil
lsi
tt
ingonthecoucheshej udgedmeabout
.
They’
recomfy.
Suko:
“Isheher
e?”
He’
swhisper
ing,
peeki
ngatt
heloungeand
r
etr
eat
ingwhenheseestheal
lfamil
iarf
igur
e.
Suko:
“Youguy
sdi
dn’
tst
artwi
thoutme,
right
?”
Me:“No.We’r
eactual
l
yaboutt
ostar
t.Hebroughta
pr
oject
or.He’
sprepar
edaPowerPoi
ntpr
esentati
on.
Act
uall
y,wedid.
”
It
akeGi
gi,
puthim onmyhi
pandweallmakeour
waytot
heloungewher
eOkihasev
ery
thi
ngset.
Isi
twit
hhim onmyl
apwhileSukosi
tsnextt
ous.
Okii
slooki
ngli
keal
ect
urerwit
hhissui
tandti
eand
thesti
ckhe’shol
ding.IknowI
’
m sl
eepi
ngwi
thar
ed,
brui
sedbutttoni
ght.
Oki:“Ri
ght .Thefir
stsl
ideisamapoft heconf
erence
room whi chIneedy outwot ofamil
iari
zeyour
self
with.Idon’twanty ougetti
nglostornotknowing
wher ether est
roomsar e.Iwantacleanmissi
onwi t
h
zeroslipups.”
Suko:
“Wi
l
lyoubesendi
ngust
hatmap?
”
Oki:“
Poppyhasi t
.Now,secondsl i
deshowsy our
tar
gets.Idon’ twantusget t
ingcaughtsoi t’
sone
eachni ght.Sincetheconferencewoul dbef orfive
days,itmeanst entar
getsintotal.I’
vealsosor t
ed
yourtar get
saccor di
ngtoeachday ,you’
llr
eceivet hi
s
aswel l.Ifyoumesst hi
sup, it
’syourlif
e.”
Me:
“Oki
nawa,
ther
e’snoneedf
ort
hreat
s.”
Oki
:“You’
rei
nnoposi
ti
ont
obesay
ingt
hatPoppy
.”
Ir
oll
myey
es.
Oki:“
Thir
dslideisthei
rphonemodelsandscreen
covers/wal
lpapers.Thegoodt
hingi
s, al
lyour
tar
getsareusingthesamemodel whichisan
I
Phone8+andt hatmakesthingseasi
erforus.
Curr
enti
Phonemodel sdon’thav
etouchIDand
i
nsteadusefaceI D.I
t’
ll
beeasyt ounl
ockthe
phoneswheny ouhav ethei
rthumbpri
nts.Ally
ou
needismini
mum cont actli
keahandshake.”
Suko:
“Howwi
l
lthatcont
actgetust
hepr
int
?”
Oki
:“Yourst
upi
dit
yisbegi
nni
ngt
oir
ri
tat
eme!
”
Hi
sgr
unthasmescowl
i
ng.
Me:“Youcoul
dhavej
ustl
etmepr
esent
.He’
saski
ng
goodquest
ions”
Oki
:“ShutupPoppy
,Iwon’
ttel
lyouagai
n.”
Me:“You’renotgoingtohandlemei nfr
ontofmy
sonOki becauseit’
sgoingtopissmeof f
.Conti
nue
thepresentati
onthenI’
l
l answerwhatev
erquesti
ons
Sukohasaf ter.
”
Oki: “You’l
luseaUSBOTGcabl etobasicall
y
downl oadtheircloudinformati
onandt hatshoul
dbe
donewi t
hin8mi nutes.Poppywi l
lexpl
ainthat
furthertoyou.Afterthef i
vedays,I’
l
lbetheone
transferr
ingthemoneyf rom t
heirbankaccountsto
anunt
raceabl
ebankaccount
.”
Me:“
Thenhowwil
lwegetourcuti
fwedon’
tknow
howmuchyou’
l
lhave?
”
Oki
:“Youhav
enochoi
cebutt
otr
ustme.
”
Me:“Whydoesi
tsoundl
i
kewe’renotget
ti
ngthe60-
40wetal
kedabout
.Areyout
ryi
ngtocheatus
Oki
nawa?”
Oki
:“Boy
,takeGi
giandexcuseus.
”
Hisv oi
ceiscommandi ngandl eav
esnospacef or
disobedience.Sukol ooksathi mthenmebef or
e
takingGigifrom myl ap.Theboywasal ready
drowsingof f.Theygoout side.Whent hey’r
eout,he
chokesme.Hel i
ter
allyblocksmyai rpassage,tears
fi
lli
ngmyey eswhi l
eIt r
yt oconcealmywhi mper s.
Oki
:“Don’
tyoueverdi
srespectmel
i
ket
hati
nfr
ont
oft
hatboy,youhearme!”
Inodwi
thasi
desmi
l
e.Hefor
cesthosebigl
i
pson
meandonl
yfr
eesmyneckwhenhebreakst
heki
ss.
Oki
:“Gocov
ery
ourneckwi
thascar
f.
”
Yeah,
li
ket
hatwon’
trai
seanysuspi
cion.Ihat
ethat
I
’mt urnedonfrom t
his.Ical
lSukobacki
nandthe
presentat
ioncont
inues.Nooneasksanyquest
ion
unti
ltheman’sdone.
Suko:
“(whi
sper
s)Youl
ookf
lushed”
Me:
“Shh”
Wet
urnbackt
oOki
who’
slooki
ngatus.
Oki:“
I’
llbri
ngyourphonesadaybef orethefir
stday
ofthemi ssi
on.Poppy,I’
l
lgivey oumycar dforyour
clot
hes.Keepi nmindthatI’
l
l subtr
actthemoney
you’l
lspendfrom yourcutsousei tcauti
ously.Wal
k
meout .”
ThankGodmyson’ ssleeping.Mysituati
onshipwi t
h
Oki i
sjust…compl i
cated.Idon’tl
ov ehim butIalso
don’twantt osharehim andwesetal lt
heserules
thatdon’treal
lygovernit.Hestil
lcheatsthenlaughs
whenIbeathi saccompl icesupthenshut smeup
withaf ewhundreds.Heknowsmoneymakesme
happy.Itstart
edoutofnowher efrom onedrunk
nightandsuddenlyhecoul dn’
tgetenoughofme.He
doest akecareofmemor ethanheshoul dbutIbust
mybot t
om try
ingtomakeendmeet s.Beingasi ngl
e
mom i
sn’
teasyy
ouknow.
Wehav eaquickieinthebackseatsoItakeashower
aft
ercomingbacki nt
ot hehouse.It
henprepare
di
nner.Gi
giwillwakeupar ound8pm hungrythengo
backtosl
eep.Iliketokeephimf ed.
I’
m mindingmyownbusi nessi nmykit
chen,havi
ng
somewhi tewinewhi l
ecooki ngwhenIhearloud
l
aughter.Iknowt hatobnoxiouslaugh,
it’
sNosi.I
don’ti
nterf
erethoughandi nsteadputonearphones
becauseshe’sannoy i
ng.
.
SUKOLUHLE

I
’m happyshe’sher e.Sheapologi
zedf orgoi
ngghost
onme, saidthatshe’dmi spl
acedherphoneandonly
foundityesterday
.Appar entl
yhersist
erhadhidi
t.I
didn’
tknowshehadasi ster
!ButI’
m happyeit
her
way ,
I’
vemi ssedhersomuch.
Nosi
:“No,
stop!
”
Me:
“Tel
lmey
oul
oveme”
She’ssoti
cklishsoitdoesn’tt
akeanyef f
or t
.She
tr
iespryi
ngmyf i
ngersoffherbutitdoesn’twork.
Herlaughterhasfil
l
edtheent i
reroom, br
ingingitt
o
l
ife.
Nosi
:“Fi
ne,
fine.Il
ovey
ousov
erymuch”
She’
spanti
ngwhenIst
op.See,t
hat
’smor el
ikeit
.I
wipehert
earswi
thmythumbthenkisshercheeks.
Me:
“Il
ovey
out
oo.
”
Nosi:“
Iseeyout ookmyadv i
cebutbaby,Ihope
you’
renotatacor nerwherepeoplewhoknowme
pass.Idon’
twantpeopl el
aughingatmebecause
I
’m dati
ngav endor.Theywon’ttakemeseri
ous.
”
Me:“Atl
eastI
’
m doi
ngsomet
hing.What
’st
hebi
g
deal
?”
I
’mfai
l
ingtogetit
.Shewant
edmetodosomething
wi
thmylif
eandnowshe’ssayi
ngt
his?Whatdo
womenwantvele?
Nosi:
“It
’sembarrassi
ngSuko.I’
m anadmi
ncl
erk
whil
eyou’reahawker,thatcomboisn’
t
communi cat
ing.
”
Me: “
I’
m begi
nni
ngtot
hinknot
hingIdowi
l
lev
er
sat
isfyyou.I
’
mtryi
ngNosi.
”
Isi
gh,
let
ti
nggoofher
.
Nosi:“
Whatdi dIsay?I
’
m sayingyoushoul
dn’
t
vendoratacornerwherepeoplewhoknowthat
we’retoget
herpass.Gotocornershopori
ndust
ri
al
sit
e,nothere.
”
Isi
gh.
Me:“Ihav
en’tseenany
onewhoknowsuspassbut
whenIdo,I’
l
l move.
”
That’
sal i
e.Mosasawmeandsheknows.Idi d
i
ntroduceNosi tomyf ami
lyear
li
erl
astyear
.She
saysI’
llonlymeetherswhenIgetadecentjob
becausethey’r
ejudgmentalandwon’
tacceptan
unemploy edson-i
n-l
aw.
Sheexhal
esi
nrel
i
ef.
Nosi
:“ThankGod.Baby
,Ineedt
odomyhai
r.
”
Nkosi
yam.Mysmil
eisf
orced;
mycheeksar
ehur
ti
ng
f
rom t
hecrack.
Me:
“Yourhai
rlooksf
inet
ome.
”
Shehasawell
groomedmedium-si
zedaf
ro.Herhai
r
i
ssoftandsmell
sgoodaswell
.
Nosi:“
Ha.ababy
.Havey
ouseenthegi
rl
son
I
nstagram?Ial
sowantt
osl
ay.”
Me: “
ButIlov
ethenat
ural
you,
whydoy
ouhav
eto
change?”
Nosi:“
ThereasonPoppylooksdownonmeev en
thoughshedoesn’
thaveanyshiti
sbecauseI
’
mt oo
plai
n.Iwantt
olookbett
erthanher,wi
thweav
esand
l
ongnails.
”
Me:
“So,
youwantt
obef
ake?
”
Nosi:“
Iwanttobemorebeaut
if
ul.I
’
mjustnot
sati
sfi
edwit
hmycurrentl
ookandIwanttochange
i
t.”
Me:“You’
ll
havetowaitfortheendofthemont
hke
andcrossfi
nger
sthatI’
l
l makeenough.”
Ican’
ttellheraboutt
hepl an,shemightblowitor
wantmet ogiveherabigslicefr
om mycut .Ihav
eto
saveupt henuseittoinvestinmydr eams.Iknowit
mighttaketime,year
sev enbutI’m hopef
ulnow
becauseI’l
lbesav ingupcapi t
al.Thecostofli
vi
ng
i
ncreasesast heday sgoon, t
hev al
ueoftherand
goesdownbuti fIinv esti
nabankt hatof
fersgreat
ret
urn,IknowI ’
l
l getv aluef
ormoney .Iwanttoput
all
ofthemoneyi nt hereoratleastanamountthat
won’trai
seanyr edf lags.
Nosi
:“Don’
tyoumakemoneyev
eryday
?”
Me: “
Ial
sohav
etostockpl
usIowePoppy
.Idon’
t
makemuchNosi.I
’
vejustst
art
edbei
ngavendor
,
geez.
”
Nosi
:“Whydoyouhavetopayher
?Shehasher
kwer
ekwereboot
hatgiv
eshermoney.
”
Me:“
Don’teverusesuchinsul
ti
ngt
ermsaroundme
Nosi
,ar
ey ouevenli
steni
ngtoyour
sel
f?”
Sher
oll
sherey
es.
Nosi
:“Argh,y
ouknowwhatImean.I’
mtal
ki
ngabout
t
hatforei
gnerofher
swi
thafancycar
.”
Me:“Whatdoy
ouhav
eagai
nstPoppy
?It
houghty
ou
l
ikedher
.”
Nosi
:“Li
ked.OaphaphaandIdon’
tdot
hat
.”
Me:
“Idon’
twantt
otal
kaboutot
herpeopl
e.”
Poppy
:“Ar
eyouj
oini
ngusf
ordi
nner
?”
Thedoorwasnotcl
osedandshe’sstandinginsi
de
andI’
m her
ewonderi
nghowmuchoft hatdidshe
hear
.Nosi’
sey
eshavewidened.Sheshift
st omeas
i
fshe’st
ryi
ngt
oshiel
dhersel
ffrom t
hewr aththat’
s
coming.
Poppy
:“Suko?
”
Inodt
henshewal
ksout
.
Nosi
:“Didshehearal
loft
hat
?Ican’
tfi
ghtbabyand
sheneverl
oses.
”
Me:“
Shoul
dhav
ethoughtoft
hatbef
orey
our
ant
hat
t
ongue.
”
Iputonmysli
desandstandup.Shedoest
ooand
fol
lowsmetothemainhouse.
*
***
**
I
'
dappr
eci
atesomecomment
s>
Pl
easeal
soshar
eandment
ionsomef
ri
ends.
THREE
★★★
POPPY

Suko:
“What
’sf
ordi
nnert
oni
ght
?”
Me:“
Uh,
whit
eri
cewit
htomat
ost
ew.I
t’
soneoft
he
meal
sIl
ear
nedf
rom Oki
.”
Il
ookatNosiwhil
esayi
ngthi
s.Doesshet
hinkshe’
l
l
eatmyfoodaf
terwhatshesai
daboutme?She’s
tr
ippi
ng.
Gi
gi:
“Yes!
”
Thenhey awns.He’ssti
llsl
eepybutmybabynev er
wantshisstomacht obeempt y
.I’
dinit
iall
ysetfour
pl
atesbutIremovedonenowbecauseI ’
m being
pett
y.I’
m notgoi
ngt ohideordenythat.Thisgir
l’
s
becomeap. a.(
painintheass)andI’mt ento
poppingher.
Me:“Yourgi
rl
fr
iendwil
lhavetochowherwor ds.
Akershehasabigmout h,
letthatf
eedher.FYI
,Oki
i
sAngolanwithaNiger
ianfather.I
t’
snoneofher
busi
nessbuti
t’sthesamewayshe’ sSout
hAfri
can.
We’r
ealloneexceptforxenophobi
cpeopl
eli
keher.
”
Iknowmyf oodsmell
sgood.Hermout h’
swater
ing
atthesightbutthi
swil
lteachhertocont
rol
her
tongue.I’
vetol
erat
edherfortoolong.
Suko:
“We’
l
lshar
emypl
ate”
Thedramaqueencl
i
ckshert
ongueandr
oll
sher
eyes.
Nosi
:“Keshar
p.I
’
m notaboutt
oeatf
oodIwasn’
t
of
fer
ed.”
Suko:
“ButI
’
m of
fer
ingy
ounj
e”
Nosi
:“NoSuko,andwhydi
dn’
tyoucook?I
’
drat
her
mucheatyourf
oodthanher
s.”
Me:“
Idon’tli
kear
guingaroundmysonandI’
dvery
muchpreferi
fyoukeepmynameoutofy ourmout
h.
Don’
ttestmeNosipho‘causeyou’
l
lgeti
t.
”
Wehaveaquietdinneraft
erthat,Gigisleepi
ng
hal
fwayt
hrough.Thetwol eaveafter.Iknowmy
boy’
sgoi
ngtofeelthatdumbgi rl
’
sf ury.Ihat
ewhat
she’
sChangedinto,sheusedt obesuchani cegi
rl
.
I’
mit chingtointer
fere,
may befi
ndoutt hereason
behindi tbutit
’sgoingtohurtSuko.Iknowhel ov
es
herwhi chiswhyhecan’ tseethegirlmightbe
cheat i
ng.I’m awomanf ordamnsakeandIknow
howwear e.
ThisiswhyIdon’ tbi
ndmy selfint
or el
ati
onships,I
knowI ’m notr
eallyl
oyalsochancesofcheat ingare
veryhigh.Okiknowst hatandi t’
swhyhet hi
nksit
’s
ri
ghtf orhimtosleepwi t
hot herwomen.Iwasht he
dishesaf t
erputt
ingGigitosleept hentakemybot tl
e
ofwi neandit’
sglassthensi tinfrontoftheTV.
I’
l
l probablybuyabi ggeronewi t
hmycheque.A
smar tTVatt hat.Ift
hingsworkoutwel lthenI’
llbuy
i
tcash.Thi sscreeniswaytoosmal l.Ican’
tsayt hat
toOki ,he’
llbeonmycasesoI ’l
lhavet olaybyit
.It
comeswi thlesslegalli
abi
li
tyandtheydon’ tneeda
l
otf rom youlikepaysli
psandI Dsalongwi thbank
statement s.I
’l
lprobablygotomor r
ow.
.
SUKOLUHLE
Nosi:“
Theny ouwonderwhyIdon’
tli
keher .
Ungcoli
le!Whodepr i
vessomeoneoffood?It ol
dy ou
shethi
nksshe’ sbet
terthanme.Baby,It
hinkit’
s
ti
mey ouf oundanotherplacet
ost
ay.NnaIcan’ t
dealwit
ht hisanymore.”
Myheadst opsatthatanditfeel
slikemyhairis
bei
ngpull
edv igor
ouslybytheroots.Themigrai
ne
att
acksmeonmyt emples,
dizzy
ingmeal i
ttl
e.Did
shesuggestthatImov e?
Me: “
Wh…whati syourproblem wit
hPoppy?She’s
beengoodtomeandi ncasei thassli
ppedyour
mind,I’
m st
ayinghereforfreeandshesharesher
foodwithme.Poppyhel psmeout ,
support
smy
i
deasandact uall
yseesthingsfrom myperspect
ive.
She’
sagoodf r
iendandI’m notlosi
ngallt
hat
becauseofyou.”
Nosi
:“Soy
ou’
rechoosi
ngherov
erme?
”
Me:“Idon’
tneedtochoosebecauseyoubothmat t
er
t
ome.Il oveyouNosipho,
Iwanttospendtherestof
myli
fewi t
hyou.Iwantyoutobether
ewhent hings
f
inal
l
ywor koutformebecausetheywil
l.Poppyis
al
sopartofmylif
e,hasbeenandwi l
lfor
everbe.
Lear
ntogetalongwithherbecauseI
’m notsur
e
wheret
hisiscomingfrom al
lofasudden.”
Nosi
:“I
twasani
cespeechunt
ily
oument
ionedher
name.
”
Ihuff
.I’v
ejustpour
edmyhear toutandshecall
sita
speech?Ineedtotryharder.Idon’
twanttochoose,
they’
rebothimport
anttomeandI ’
m notl
ookingto
l
oset hem.Notnow, notever.
Me:
“Nosi
,doy
ouwantt
obewi
thme?
”
Iknowt
heanswerwi
l
lmostpr
obabl
yhur
tbutIst
il
l
ask.
Nosi
:“OfcourseIdo.We’vebeentoget
herfor
al
mosttwoy earsnow.Ihopeouranniv
ersarywi
l
lbe
di
ff
erentt
hisyear.
”
Me:
“Yes,
don’
twor
ry.
”
Ipul
lhertomychestt
hent
ryt
oki
ssher
,shepushes
meabi t
.
Me:
“Andt
hen?
”
Nosi
:“I
’
m madSuko.
”
Me:
“That
’swhyy
ouneedt
obl
owof
fsomest
eam.
”
Nosi
:“Ha.
a”
Idon’tpushanyf ur
ther
.It
’sbeenaweek,NosiandI
haven’tmadel ovei
nawhi l
e.Shelov
eshersex,
she’
snotonherper i
odssoit’
ssurpr
isi
ngforme.
Shetur nsawayfrom meandgi v
esmeherback.I
si
gh,alsot ur
ningawayfrom her
.
Ireal
lyhopet
hatt
hingswor
koutnextweekandwe’
l
l
getthemoney.
Nosi i
sgonewhenIwakeupi nthemorni
ng,wi t
hnot
evenanot elef
tbehind.There’
snotevenat r
aceof
herbackhere,li
keshenev ercame.Idomyhy gi
ene
processthengetdressedinanav ybl
ueov er
allset
.
It
’swhatPoppyandIweart othestr
eets,
noi dea
why .Idon’
tmindthough.
Igot othemainhouseaft
er.Iknockoncethenl
et
my selfi
n.Poppyi
sintheloungewithGigi
andis
fi
xi
nghi shair
.Me:“Morni
ng”
Poppy
:“Sukol
uhl
e”
Me:
“Whydoesi
tsoundl
i
key
ou’
remadatme?
”
Poppy
:“DoIhav
ear
easont
obe?
”
Me:
“Hai
bo,
noty
out
oo.
”
Shechuckl
es.
Poppy:“I
’
mj ustpul
li
ngyourl
eg.Wher
e’sy
ourgi
rl
becauseshe’snotwort
hyofbei
ngcal
ledawoman?”
Me:“Shel
efti
nthemorni
ng,
hadt
orusht
owor
k.
Youknowhowi ti
s.”
Poppy
:“Mm.How’
ret
hingsbet
weeny
ou?
”
Me: “
They’
ref
inebutwi
l
ldef
ini
tel
ybegoodaf
ter
nextweek.
”
Poppy
:“Yousayshel
efti
nthemor
ning,
right
?”
Inod.Wher
e’sshegoi
ngwi
tht
his?
Poppy
:“Whof
ell
asl
eepf
ir
stbet
weeny
ou?
”
Me:
“Idi
d.Whatdoest
hathav
etodowi
thany
thi
ng?
”
Poppy: “
BecauseIsawhersneaki ngout.Okicall
ed
mear oundmi dni
ghtneh,Iwentoutandgotdr il
l
edin
hiscar.Aft
erthedri
ll
whenwewer ej
usttal
king,I
sawherwal koutandintoacart hatwasparkedby
thestreet
.Shewasbusywat chingherbackthatshe
didn’
tnot
iceOki
’
scart
hatwaspar
kedi
nsi
det
he
yard!
”
I
’mlookingather
,wai
ti
ngforasignt
hatshemi
ght
bely
ing.Nosil
ovesme,shetol
dmethatshewant
s
tobewithme.
Me:
“Iwoul
dhav
efel
therl
eav
e.”
Poppy
:“Washersi
dewar
m wheny
ouwokeup?
”
Me:“Idi
dn’
tcheckdammit
!Shel
ovesme.Iasked
heri
fshewantstobewit
hmeandshesaidyes!”
Poppy
:“OK,
cal
m down.
”
Sheleadsmei nabreat
hingexer
cisewhi chshe
compelledmeintobutitdoest
hetri
ckincal ming
medown.If eell
i
kecryi
ng.ThethoughtofNosi
cheati
ngonmei stoomuchf ormet odigest,i
treal
l
y
hurt
s.Ican’
tbeli
eveshe’ddosomethingl i
kethi
sto
me.
Me: “
Wespokel astnight,evental
kedaboutour
cominganniversary.Ithinkther
e’sanexplanat
ionfor
thi
s.I’
m notgoingt oov err
eactorblowt hi
ngsoutof
proport
ion.I
’
llaskheri fshecomest oday.
”
Poppy:
“Shemostpr
obablywon’
tbutdot
hat
.Imi
ght
havemisr
eadt
hesit
uat
ion.”
Me:
“Yes,
youpr
obabl
ydi
d.”
Idon’
tmeantosnapbutIdo.I’
mf r
ust
rat
ed,
thi
s
si
tuat
ioni
sfr
ustr
ati
ng.Ican’
tloseher
.
Poppy
:“O…k…Gi
gi,
let
’sgo.
”
Gi
gi:
“Youdone?
”
Poppy
:“Yes.
”
Theyleavemeinmychainoft
houghts.My
riadof
them ar
erunni
ngthr
oughmymi nd.Li
fewi
thoutNosi
i
sn’toneIcani
magine,
she’
smywor l
d.
Ifi
nal
lydeci
detogetup,l
estIbelateandmissmy
usualmorni
ngcustomer
s.IsitbackdownwhenI
rememberthati
t’
sSatur
day.Wher ear
etheygoi
ng
then?
Anyway,Igotothekit
chenandfixusbreakfast
.
Maybethey’l
lbehungrywhentheycomeback.I
shoul
dgot otownaswel l
soIcanr est
ock.Poppy
sai
dIshouldpayheronlywhenIstartmakingprofi
t.
Anyoneelsewouldhavewantedtheirmoneywith
i
nter
estandASAP.
Idecidet
ot r
yNosi,surpr
isedt
hatherphone’
s
ri
ngingbecauseshe’sbeenunreachabl
efort
he
wholeweek.
“
Nosi
pho’
sphone,
hel
l
o?”
Il
ookatmyphonet ocheckifIdi
aledtheri
ght
numberbecauset
hatvoicesoundsli
kethatofa
man.Poppywasright
?
Me:
“Whoar
eyouandwher
e’sNosi
?”
Person:
“I’
m hersi
ster
,shel
efti
tbehi
nd.Idon’
t
knowwher eshewent.
”
Me:
“So,
she’
snotatwor
k?”
Per
son:
“No.
”
Me:“Whyshoul
dIbel
i
eveyou’
rehersi
sterwheny
our
voi
cesoundsli
keaman’
s?”
Per
son:“Ij
ustwokeupdammit
!Andi
t’
snott
hatbad.
Ourvoi
cessoundthesame.
”
Me:“
Right
.Tel
lherIcal
l
edandt
hatsheshoul
d
comeseeme.”
Per
son:
“Sur
e.”
Ieatmyfood,thengobacktomyroom wher
eIbat
h.
Aftert
hat
,Igetdressedandl
eav
efort
own.
.
POPPY

I
’vedecidedt ot akeGigioutforbr eakfastt henI ’
llgo
domynai ls.Ialsohavet orestock.Sukosuggest ed
webuyFl ashmachi nesf orair
timeandel ect r
ici
tyso
I
’m goingt osur pri
sehim bybuy i
ngf orus.He’ llpay
mebackwhenhe’ sgottenonhi sf eet.Ihadt omov e
mywai stpr ett
yhar dforthismoneybuti t
’swor thi t
.
I
’m wor r
iedabouthi m.Nosi i
st urningi ntoLucy ,
tr
yingtocont r
ol hi
m andal lt
hat .She’st alkingbadof
mei nanat t
emptt odriveawedgebet weenus.Il ov e
mybestf ri
endandI ’m hopinghe’ llseet hroughher .
Hemi ghtbeol derandwi serbutnotwheni tcomes
tolove.Hel oveshar dwhi choftenbl indshi mt o
people’
st rueintenti
onsandchar acter.
Westar
tatPepfi
rst
,al
sogett
ingGi
gisomeni ce
sl
eeper
sinadv
anceforwi
nter
.Ihav
eal otIneedto
doatt heendoft hi
smont h.Okihasagr eedt ome
hostingZuri’
spar tyathishousebutIst ill
haven’t
thoughtofat heme.Wecan’ tdoaweddi ng,nowcan
we?Unl essthet hemebecomest hecolorsshe
want edforherweddi ng.Ont opoft hatIwanta
smar tTV!There’sal otIwanttodowi thli
ttl
emoney.
We’reopt i
misti
caboutt hemi ssion,theplanis
foolproofbutthatdoesn’tmeani tmi ghtnotfail
.I
can’tdependmuchonmoneyI ’m notev ensureof
amount .
Thenwegoaroundtownfort
heproductsI
’m sel
l
ing,
endi
ngupatt
hesalonwit
hGigisl
eeping.
Tsebo:
“Yoursoni
ssohandsomet
lhe.Sbwl
”
Il
augh.
Me:“Yousaythatev
eryti
me.Sorryt
obreaky our
bubbl
ebutyourmani sugl
ysoit
’simpossi
ble.”
Tsebo:“
YuuandIlovehim whi
chisunf
ortunat
e.
He’sworsewhenhewakesupi nthemorningwit
h
hi
snoseswollenandthoseli
ps.
”
Me:“
Hey
,youdon’
tsayt
hataboutsomeoney
ou
l
ove”
Ist
il
ll
aught
hroughmyscol
ding.
Tsebo:
“I’
m notbl
i
ndt
hough.How’
sdaddyOki
?”
Me:
“Ah,
goodbuthest
il
lcan’
tkeepi
tinhi
spant
s.”
Hel
aughs.
Tsebo:“
Idon’tblamehim.Youcan’
texpectthatv
ery
handsomemant ospendawholethreeweeks
wit
houtgett
ingany .Yousai
dity
ourselft
hathehas
ahighsexdrive.
”
Me: “
ButIgivei
ttohim goodli
keanoutofthebody
experi
ence.He’
dbescreaminglikeadamnbitch.I
’
m
awarenoonegivesittohim goodli
keIdo.
”
Tsebo:“
Iknowt
hatdol
l
.He’
sjustgr
eedy
,they
’real
l
l
ikethat
.”
Me:“I
’
dgivehim atasteofhi
smedi ci
neifIhadt
he
ti
me.It
’sj
ustonelaststr
awthenI’l
lbedonewith
hi
m.He’ll
endupmaki ngmesi ck.
”
Tsebo:
“Don’
tyouusepr
otect
ion?
”
Me:“
Alwaysbuti t
’snot100%ef f
ecti
ve,
youknow.
Whathappenedtoy ourassi
stant
?Iwanttostar
ta
wi
gbusiness,needsomei nsi
ght.”
Tsebo:“Shegotdeport
ed.Youknowhowbl ack
peopl
edon’tli
keseeingfell
owbl ackpeopl
edoi
ng
well
.Ital
lstemmedf r
om jealousy.”
Me:
“Real
l
y?Whendi
dthi
shappen?
”
Tsebo:“
Lastweektlhe.Herr
egul
arscomeher
e
ever
ydaylooki
ngforher.
”.
Me:“I
’
llt
alktoOki
,I
’m surehecanpul
lsomest
ri
ngs.
Bat
hong,peopl
eareevilhl
e.”
Tsebo:“
Yesandthankyou.Poorgi
rlwasdeter
mined
toopenherownstal
landall
.She’
sabr eadwi
nner
backathome.”
Me:
“That
’sgood.Ihel
pwher
eIcan.
”
Tsebo:
“She’
l
lappr
eci
atei
t.You’
reagoodper
son
hl
e.”
Me: “
Itr
y.She’
sagoodperson,har
dwor kerandi
ts
unfai
rforhert
obedepri
vedofprovi
dingforher
famil
ybecauseofherci
ti
zenr
y.”
Tsebo:“Youknowhowf el
l
owSout hAfri
cansare.
Theytalkoffor
eignnati
onalst
akingthei
rjobswhil
e
they
’resit
ti
ngont hei
rbutt
swaiti
ngforthe
gov
ernmentt
opr ovi
def
ort
hem i
nst
eadofseeki
ng
meansofsur
viv
al.”
Me:“Remi
ndsmeofSuko’sgi
rl
fri
end.Thatgi
rli
sa
thor
nonmyshoeYaz.She’
str
yingtopoisonhim
agai
nstme.
”
Tsebo:
“They
’rest
il
ltoget
her
?”
Me:
“Yeah.They
’resol
i
d.”
Hef r
owns.HiscrushonSukoiscuteandt hey’
ve
nevermet.Idon’
tknowhowbuthe’ sneverbeen
ther
ewhenTsebov i
sit
ed.Hedoeshousecal l
s
sometimes.Tsebo:“I
fonlyhewasn’
tstr
aight.
”
Il
augh.
Me:“Li
keyou’devercheatonyourbaboon.Youguys
havebeentoget
herforyears.When’
shemar ry
ing
you?”
Tsebo:“
Yohwena,soon.I’m ki
ddi
ng,t
here’
snorush
buthe’
shint
edati
t.Youknowmyf amilyi
s
homophobicsot
heypr obabl
ywon’taccepthi
s
l
obola.I
t’
swhatI
’m scaredof .
”
Me:
“Sor
rychom butf
uckt
hem.Theyshoul
dn’
t
matt
er.Wenajustl
ovey
ourmanandl
ett
hose
who’
reagai
nstyougotohel
l
.”
Tsebo:
“Thanky
oubabe.Youal
way
sknowwhatt
o
say.
”
Me:“You’vehel
pedmet hroughsomeofmyhardest
t
imespl usIwouldn’
thavemyloungesui
tei
fit
wasn’tbecauseofyou.
”
Tsebo:
“Heh,t
hey’
resocomfort
abl
e.Youhavegood
tast
eshame.Ihopeyou’
vebeenpay
ingwell
.”
Me:“Ihave.Okii
sal
sohel
ping.Whenthi
ngscal
m
down,I’
m gett
ingasmar
tTVv ial
ayby
.”
Weconti
nuetal
kingevenwhenheget
sother
cust
omers.He’
sfini
sheddoi
ngmynail
s.Ionl
ygett
o
l
eaveaf
terGigi
wakesup.
★★★★
PLEASEDOCOMMENTANDSHARE.I
'
D
APPRECI
ATEHELPI
NGROWI
NGTHEPAGE:
)
FOUR
★★★★
SUKOLUHLE

Shedi dn’ tcomeov eryest erday,didn’tansweranyof

mycal lssoIguessi t’
scl earshedi dn’ twantt o.I
wishmyhear tcouldbel iev ethat.I
t ’
swhatmymi nd’ s
tel
li
ngmebutmyhear ti
sdi sputi
ngt hat.It
’ssay i
ng
shehadar easonandwi l
l comebackt omewhen
shecan.I thur t
st hough, nomat t
erhowmuchIt ryto
convincemy selfitdoesn’ t.It’
smyt ur ntocook
Sundayl unch.PoppyandGi gihavegonet ochur ch.
Herat tempt stocompel met ogowi thf ai
ledsoshe
l
etmebe.Thi scooki ngt hi ngishel pingmet akemy
mindof ft hings.I thonest lyfeelsmyl ifekeepsgoi ng
downhi llandnot hingwor ksout .Myl ongest
rel
ationshi pist hreateningt ocoll
apseal lbecause
I’
m af ailur e.Thi sthinghasbeenaf fectingmef or
toolongnowandI ’m begi nningtot hinkt here’
sno
purposel ef tformeont hisear th.Whatam Il i
vi
ngf or?
Thingsal way sgof rom badt owor seandt here’
s
neverbeenat i
mewhenIwasi ndependent.Ital
way s
hast obeonsomeonewhi chsuckstobehonest .I
cookasev encolorsmeal andev enmakesome
puddingfordessert.Poppyalway sbuysthisfood
whichsher ar
elycooks.Shedoesn’ thaveasweet
toothsotheinstantpuddings,j
ellyandallsweetjunk
usuallysi
tinhercupboardsunt i
lIcomet otheir
rescue.
Nosi
:“Ismell
edyourfoodbef
oreIev
ent
urnedby
t
hecorner.Heybaby”
Shegivesmeawetki ssonthecheekt
hentakest
he
spat
ulaI’
m hol
dingandli
cksitwhi
lemoani
ng.
Nosi
:“Tast
egoods.
”
Ther
e’ssomet hi
ngdi f
fer
entaboutherwhichIcan’
t
putafingeron.She’swearingashor
tromperwith
heel
sandhasmi racul
ouslydoneherhai
r.It
hought
shedoesn’thavemoney .I
sn’tt
hatwhyshe
complainedaboutherhairtome?She’sinst
all
eda
shor
tbl ackcur
lyweav ewhichsui
tshersoIguessI
can’
tcompl ai
n.
Me:
“Youdi
dyourhai
r.
”
Shenodswi
thagr
in.
Nosi
:“Doesi
tsui
tme?
”
Me:“I
tdoes.I
taccent
uat
est
hosedoeey
esof
your
s.”
Nosi
:“Thanky
oubaby
.”
Me:“Hav
eyoualway shadthat?I
’v
eneverseenyou
wear
ingsomethi
ngthisshortandrev
eal
ingbefor
e,
nott
hatI
’m compl
aining.
”
Sher
oll
sherey
es.
Nosi
:“Youcan’
tknowal
lmycl
othesSuko.
”
Me:
“I’
mjustsayi
ng.We’
vebeent ogetherf
oralmost
t
woyearssoIknowyourst
yle.Thisisn’
tyou.
”
Nosi
:“Yousaidy
ou’
renotcompl
aini
ngbuti
tsounds
l
ikey
ouar e.
”
Me:“I
’mjustcur
ious.It
ri
edcal
l
ingt
hewhol
eof
yest
erday
.”
Nosi
:“Yeah,
Sindi
tol
dmewhichiswhyI
’
m her
e.I
uhm…wentt odomyhai
randstuf
f.
”
Me:
“Wasi
tsewni
norpast
ed?
”
Nosi
:“Past
ed.Ican’
tsi
tonachai
rfort
hatl
ong.
”
Irai
seaneyebrowatthat.Shejustsaidshewentto
doherhair
,nowshecan’ tsi
tforthatlong?Ial
so
knowNosi whenshe’sly
ing.Sheblinksalotwhen
she’
sbeingdishonest
.
Me:
“Youj
ustsai
dyoudi
dyourhai
rthewhol
eday
.”
Nosi
:“Am Ii
npol
i
cecust
odywhenI
’
m bei
ng
i
nvest
igat
edli
ket
his?
”
Me:“I
’
mjustaski
ng,
whyar
eyouget
ti
ngwor
ked
up?
”
Nosi:“
You’remaki
ngmeseem l
i
keal
i
arSukol
uhl
e!
I
’m notly
ing!”
Shecl i
ckshertonguethenstormsoutoft hekit
chen.
Isigh,l
oweringtheheatofthestovesoIcanf ol
low
her.Thankfull
y,she’
sinmyr oom.Atleastshedidn’
t
l
eav e.She’
ssitti
ngont hebedsoIkneel byi
tsside
thenholdherhand.
Me:
“I’
m sor
rybaby
.Idi
dn’
tmeant
oupsety
ou.
”
Nosi
:“Wel
l
,youdid.Icame,
didn’
tI?I
tshowst
hatI
goty
ourmessagethencameassoonasIcan.Why
can’
tyouappr
eci
atet
hati
nst
eadofi
nter
rogat
ing
me?”
Me:“
I’
m sor
rybaby
.Pl
easef
orgi
veme?I
twasst
upi
d
ofme.
”
Nosi
:“Justgetoutofmyf
ace.I
’
m hungr
y,whenar
e
youdi
shingup?”
Me:
“Justwai
ti
ngf
orPoppy
.”
Nosi
:“I
’
m noteati
ngwi
thhersobr
ingmyf
oodher
e
whenyou’
redone.
”
Inodandki
ssherhand.
Nosi
:“GoSuko!
”
Hertonei
sdismissi
ngsoIusethatasmycue.She
needsherspacesoshecancal
m downsoIgiveher
that
.
PoppyandGi
gisoonarr
ive.Theboyr
unst
omet
hen
rubshi
stummy,he’
shungry.
Me:
“Howwaschur
ch?
”
Poppy
:“Upl
i
fti
ng.Myf
eetar
eki
l
li
ngmet
hough.
”
Shet
akesof
fherheel
sthent
hrowst
hem
somewher
eint
her
oom.
Me:
“Si
tdown,
I’
ll
dishupsoon.
”
Af
terIdo,
Iputmi
neandNosi
’
sfoodonat
ray
.
Poppy
:“You’
renoteat
ingwi
thus?
”
Me:“
NosiandIwi
l
leati
nther
oom.Imadepuddi
ng
i
fyouwant.
”
Poppy
:“Wel
l
,thanky
ou.
”
Ifi
ndherscr
oll
ingonherphonewhil
elayingonher
backonthebed.Ipeekt
oseewhatshe’ sdoi
ngbut
shepushesmesohar dt
hatIalmostdropthefood.
Nosi
:“Don’
tev
ersneakuponmel
i
ket
hat
!”
Me:“
Youwereconsumediny
ourphone,
Ijust
want
edtoseewhathadyoul
iket
hat.
”
Nosi
:“Hay
imanSuko!
”
Me:
“Ar
eyoueat
ingnow?
”
Shesit
supthennods.Iputthetrayonthebedside
tabl
ethenwepray
.Afterprayer
,weeatsil
entlywhil
e
sit
ti
nghipt
ohiponthebed.Justt hi
scontactis
enoughtoar
ousemesi nceit
’sbeensolong.Idon’t
haveahighsexdr i
veorany t
hingbutsexwi t
hthe
l
ov eofmylifeiswhatIenjoy.I’
m att
ract
edtoherso
evenifwewer en’
ttouchi
ng,I’
dst i
l
lfeell
iket
his.My
handgoest oherthighandgivesitasqueeze.She
l
ooksatitthenatmewi t
haf rown.
Nosi
:“I
’
mtr
yingt
oeat
.”
Me:
“I’
m notst
oppi
ngy
ou.
”
Shescoffsthencontinueswithherfood.Iwaitfor
hertobedone, taki
ngtheplatewhensheext endsit
tome.Iputbot hofourempt yplat
esont hefloor
thenlaynexttoheront hebed.
Me:
“Baby
,gi
vemeat
tent
ion.
”
Shesuckshert eeththenturnstome.Shel ooksi nto
myey esforagoodmi nutethensli
ngsherl egov er
mine,gett
ingont op.Herpelvicisri
ghtagai nstmi ne
whichfuelsmyar ousal.Sheleansinforaki ssand
myr epl
yisli
ket hatofahungr ycarniv
ore.It’
sbeena
whil
esoIcan’ thelpmy self
.Myhandsgot oherbut t
cheeks,squeezi
ngt hem gentlywhil
epr essingour
bodiestogether
.Itfeel
ssogood, I
’
m get ti
ng
goosebumpsandbut terf
li
esinmyt ummy .We’ r
enot
ev
ennakedy
et.
Nosi
:“Thedoor
”
Iwalktot hedoorwi thmyt opoffalready.Imake
sureit
’slocked,testi
ngwhet heri
topensornot .I
thengobackt owar dsherwhi let
akingof fmypants.
Mymanhoodspr ingsoutreadyforact i
on.Ihel
pher
takeherromper sof f
.IfIcouldaff
ordt orepl
aceit
,I’
d
haverippeditint
oshr edsbutIcan’t.
Me:
“You’
ref
reest
yli
ng?
”
Nosi
:“Babypl
ease”
She’spleading,
beggingandt hesightarousesme
mor e.Theshockf r
om herlackofunder wear
subsidesassheopensherl egs,gli
steni
ngmoi st
ure
i
nherf oldsbeggingformyat tenti
on.We’ l
ltal
kabout
thi
ssomeot herti
me.Fornow, IhaveacakeIhav e
tohav eandeat.She’smoani ngprofanit
iesasIeat
herout ,
usingmyt humbtost imulatehercli
tasmy
tonguegoesdeeperi nher.Shet astesasgoodasI
remember .
Wemakel ovet
othesymphonyofourcl
appi
ngskins,
hear
tsbeati
ngi
nsyncandthefusi
onofoursoul
s
remergi
ngintoone.Iloveherandshel ovesmet oo.
Webaski ntheaft
ermat hofourl ovemaki ngl ooking
atthecei
li
ngaswecat chourbr eaths.She’slaying
onmychest ,dr
awingsl owcirclesonmyf orearm.
I’
m overt
hemoon, waypastcl oudnineandf ora
moment ,I
’
m content.Itfeel
slikeeverythi
ngi sOK.
Nosi
:“Baby
,it
’st
imey
oumov
edoutf
rom her
e.”
Me:
“Mm”
Mycheeksar ehur
ti
ngfr
om t
hegoof
ysmi l
eonmy
facethatst
ret
chestomyear
s.HowdidIeverdoubt
her?
.
POPPY

Sundaynightsar ebestcoupl edwithslowjazz,good

wineandgr eatcompany .There’
ssomet hi
ngabout
havi
ngagoodconv ersati
onwi ththatmusicas
backgroundwhi l
est ari
ngintoeachot her’
seyes.
Damn, IsoundlikeI’
mf al
li
ngi nloveorsomething.
Gigihaslongfallenasleepsoi t’
sjustusnow.
I’
m notdoi ngany thingwr ong.I ’
m withaguywho’ s
notinterest edinapi eceoft hiscakebutr atherj
ust
wantsust ot alk.Imethi m aboutamont hagowhen
Iwasdoi ngmynai l
satTsebo’ s.Theguycamef ora
haircut,wet al
kedandexchangednumber s.I
t’
s
nothingdeepr eally.Icouldsaywe’ regoodf ri
ends
whov i
be, somet hingl ikeapr ematureversionof
whatIhav ewi thSuko.Whenheaskedf ormy
l
ocat i
on, Igav eittohi mt hi
nki nghe’sbluffi
nguntil
hewasknocki ngonmydoor .Hisnamei sMpho.
Mpho:
“Howol
dar
eyou?
”
Thequestioni
srandom andcomesoutoft hebl
ue.
He’sl
ookingatmei ntheeyes,ki
ndofli
kehe’
s
readi
ngintome.Mypokerf acetookyear
stomaster
andunfort
unatel
yforhim,Ionl
yletpeopl
eseewhatI
wantthem tosee.
Me:
“Youdon’
taskawomanherage.
”
Hechuckl eswit
hthatsexy,monotonevoi
ceofhis.I
don’tt
hinkhegetsmad.I ’
veneverhear
dhimraiseor
l
owert hatvoi
ce.It
’scapt
ivat
ing,
invi
ti
ngandli
kea
whispererofthesoul
.Toobadmysoul i
sonlock.
Hetiltshi
swi negl asst
hentakesasip.Everyt
hinghe
doesi scl
assy .Icanadmitthathe’
sanat t
racti
ve
manbutIdon’ tthi
nkIseehimt hatway.Hesmel ls
good, l
ooksgoodandhasanamazi ngfashionsense.
He’sacat ch;yourMr .‘
tal
l
,darkandhandsome’ kind
ofey ecandy.Tot opitoff
,hehasapant ydropping
smile.
Me:
“Yout
ryi
ngt
ochar
m meorsomet
hing?
”
Mpho:“I
’mjustlooki
ngatyou.There’
snot
hingel
se
I
’m doi
ngreal
ly.You’
rebeaut
iful
.”
Me:
“Yes,
Iknow.Howol
ddoy
out
hinkIam?
”
Heputshisi
ndexfi
ngeronhischeekseemingly
thi
nki
ngabouti
t.Hethentakesasipofhi
swi neand
sit
sback.
Mpho:
“22?
”
Me:
“Notbad.Howol
dar
eyou?
”
Mpho:
“I’
m 32”
Myj
awdr
ops.Hedoesn’
tlookadayov
er23.
Me:
“Real
l
y?”
Hechuckl
es.
Mpho:
“IknowIl
ookgoodandagi
nggr
acef
ull
y,
t
hankyouver
ymuch.
”
Ipunchhimli
ght
lyont
hechestwhi
chhehol
ds,
fei
gninghur
t.
Mpho:
“Thathur
t.
”
Me:
“Onal
lthatmuscl
e?Yeah.Tel
lmewhaty
oudo.
”
Mpho: “
I’
m anestat
eagentwithaf ewproper
ties
thatI
’
mr enti
ngout.Ial
sopurchasehouses,
renov
atethem t
hensellthem atanovermarket
pri
ce.
”
Me:
“You’
rel
i
key
ourownbr
oker
?”
Mpho:
“Yes,
basi
cal
l
y.”
Me:
“Mustbegr
eatbei
ngy
ourownbossneh.
”
Mpho: “
Mosttimes, yes.Idon’
tli
kereporti
ngt o
anyoneandIli
kebei ngincontrolsoit’
sgreatther
e.
I’
m usedtokeepingbusyandj ustdoingwhatIwant ,
whenIwantandwi thwhoIwant .Itwasn’teasy
gett
ingherebutIdol ovefinal
l
yreapingtherewards
ofmysweatandt ears.
”
Me: “
Mybestf riendis27andhasn’tmadei ty
et.He
getsdemot i
vatedandof t
enlooksdownonhi mself
becausehef eelshispeer
shav esurpassedhi
m.I
thi
nky ourst
orywi l
lmotivat
ehim.”
Mpho: “I
’m alwayswill
i
ngt otel
lmyst or
yt oanyone
who’ll
graspsomet hingfrom it
.Thejourneyto
successisn’teasyandit’
salsoat estofpati
ence.I
don’tmindt al
kingt
ohi m soI’
llt
extyouregardi
ng
whenI ’
ll
bef reesomet i
met hisweek.”
Me:
“Thanky
ou.I
t’
ll
real
l
ymeanal
ott
ome.
”
Mpho: “
He’sluckytohavey ouasaf ri
end.Iwishmy
fr
iendshadbeent hatsupporti
ve.ImeanIlikethatI
giveal
lcredi
ttomef orallI
’veachievedinashort
spaceoftimebutit’
slonelynothav i
ngfri
endsIcan
tr
ustaroundme.Theyal ldesertedmewhent hi
ngs
werenotworkingformewhi l
etheywer emov i
ng
i
nsteadofpulli
ngmeupwi ththem. ”
Me:
“Wel
l
,youcanaddt
womor
eont
hat
.”
Mpho:
“So,
youf
ri
endzoni
ngme?
”
Hegi
vesmet
hatpant
ydr
oppi
ngsmi
l
eofhi
s.
Me:
“Ha.
a,don’
tst
art
.”
Hechuckl
es.
Mpho:
“I’
m ki
ddi
ngpops.I
’
dlov
etobey
’al
l
sfr
iends.
”
Me:“
Yeahbutacceptusaswear
e.Respectusand
we’
l
lrespecty
ou.
”
Mpho:
“Not
ed.Canwecl
i
ckgl
assest
othat
?”
Me:
“Ofcour
se.
”

Iwakeupt i
red.MphoandIt alkedunt ilaround3am.
We’df inishedt wobot t
lesofwi newhi chhepr omised
toreplace.Hepr obablyhasawi necel l
arorownsa
winev eld.IknowIwoul difIwasonhi slevel.Black
excellencei nspiresandmot ivat esme.IhopeSuko
willbej ustasi nspired.IknowNosi sleptov er.Gigi
andIhadt oputonheadphonesbecauseoft he
soundst hatwer ecomi ngf rom t hatroom wer etoo
explicitforouri nnocentmi nds( don’
tl ookatmel ike
that).Ihopet hismeansNosi hasst oppedher
craziness.Sukohast oobi gahear tforherandI ’m
hopingi t’satleastrecipr ocat edi naway .
Thet ransportcomest ofet chGigithenIgobackt o
fi
xmyt r
oll
ey.I
’vebeenav endorfort woy earsnow
andev enmypat iencedoesn’ tst
retchthatf ar.It’
s
theper fectcoverup, Iadmi tbutit’
st hefeelingof
beingst agnantthatIhat e.I’ddoher ball
ifebutI
can’thav emypi cturessplat t
eredar oundsoci al
medi a.It’
swayt oor i
skyandIhav easont ot hinkof
.
They’r
elaughi
ngloud,unabletokeephandsof
feach
otherl
iketwolov
esickteenagers.
Suko:
“Goodmor
ningMakaGi
ven”
Me:“
Hey .Youseem t
ohav
ewokenupont
her
ight
si
detoday.”
Nosi
:“Ee.Akerhehasagirl
fr
iendwhol
oveshim and
makeshim happy.Hedoesn’
tneedany
oneelse,
l
ongashehasme. ”
Whoaskedforheropi
nion?Thi
sgi
rli
sbecomi
nga
nui
sance.
Me:
“Isn’
tshegoi
ngt
owor
k?”
Suko:
“Shei
s.I
’
m wal
ki
ngherhome.
”
Me:
“It
’ssoobv
ioust
hatshesl
eptataman’
shouse.
Whowearsashor
tromperatt
hist
imei
nthe
mor
ning?I
t’
scol
dsisi
.”
Suko:
“Hay
iPoppy
.”
Me:
“What
?”
Ishrug.DidIsaysomethi
ngwrong?Imadean
observat
ion.Thegir
lcl
i
ckshertongue,
armscr
ossed
aboveherchest.
Nosi
:“Atleasti
t’
smylastt
imecomi
ngher
ebaby
.I
can’
twaitforyoutomoveout
.”
Il
ookatSukoi
ndi
sbel
i
ef.I
tcan’
tbe!
Me:
“You’
remov
ingout
?”
Hescratcheshisscal
pwhil
enotmeeti
ngmyeyes.
Wow.Icl apmyhandsoncethengobacki
ntomy
house.Relat
ionshi
psneh.

★★★
Guys,
canigetatl
eastget20shar
esand20
comments?I
t'
dbemuchappr eci
ated
FI
VE
★★★★
SUKOLUHLE

Poppy
:“You’
remov
ingout
?!”
Me:
“Achi
!”
Shet
wistsmyearlobehar
derwhi
lepull
i
ngit
.Her
l
ongnail
saremakingitmorepai
nful
forme.Has
shef
orgott
enI
’m notGigi
?
Poppy
:“Justl
i
ket
hatSukol
uhl
e?!
”
Me:
“Comeon,
let
’st
alk”
Ikeepmov ingmyheadcl osert oherasanat tempt
toinf
li
ctlesspainonmyearbuti tdoesn’thelp.The
damnpar tisburning,
achinglikeaheadache.She
fi
nall
yrel
easest henpushesmychest .I’
mlooki ng
downathert ryi
ngt oconcealmyl aughter
.Shel ooks
cutewhenshe’ smad.Myf ocusgoest omyr eleased
earasIrubi t
.
Me:
“Youal
mostdet
achedmyear
.”
Poppy
:“Tal
k!”
Me:
“Who’
swat
chi
ngy
ourst
all
ify
ou’
reher
e?”
Poppy
:“I
’
m quar
tert
ocl
appi
ngy
ouTi
nto.
”
Thatdamnnamet hatal
way
sannoymeandmakes
myearsri
ng.Ihat
eit!
Me:
“I’
ll
sti
l
lcomeseey ou,
youknowt
hat
.My
movi
ngdoesn’
tchangeanythi
ng.
”
Poppy:“Wherearey oumov ingtoandwher ewi l
lyou
getthemoney ?You’llhavetopayr ent
,buyfoodplus
toi
let
ri
esont opofthat .I
sitfur
nished?Arey ou
goi
ngt obindyourselftoalease?Howwi l
lyou
aff
ordallofthat
?”
Me:“
Nosi f
oundmeapl ace.We’
ll
goseei ton
Wednesdaysinceshe’
l
lknockoffear
ly.She’l
lhel
p
meforthefi
rstti
me.I’
m alsohopi
ngthedeal wil
l
makeusenoughmoney .”
Poppy:
“It
houghtyou’
regoi
ngt
ouset
hemoneyt
o
i
nvesti
nyourvi
sion?”
Me:
“Itwon’
tbeal
lofi
t.
”
Sheshakesherhead.
Poppy:“
No.Thi
shasNosiwr
it
tenal
lov
eri
t.Don’
t
youseewhatshe’
sdoi
ng?
”
Me:
“She’
spushi
ngmet
omanup,
bei
ndependent
.”
Poppy:“
NoSuko.She’ sisolati
ngy ou.Shewant sto
getyouawayf r
om thepeopl ewhocar eaboutyouso
youcandependonher .Shewant sy ourwor l
dt o
rev
olvearoundhersoy ou’l
lfeell
i
key ou’
renothing
wit
houther.Sheselfi
shlywant syoual lt
oherself.
”
Me:
“That
’sabsur
d.We’
rei
nlov
eand–”
Shescof
fs.
Poppy:“
Inlov
eneh?Didyouaskherwher
eshe
di
sappearedtoFr
idayni
ght
?Itol
dyouI–”
Me:“Sawherl eave,Ir
emember.Nosii
smywoman
PoppyandI ’
vet ol
erat
edyouspeaki
ngil
l ofherbut
that
’senough.Ifyou’r
egoingt
obenegat iv
e,rat
her
shutyourmout h.Idon’
tneedyouropi
nion.”
Shelookst
akenaback.Sher
aisesherar
msi
n
sur
rendert
hennods.
Poppy
:“Asy
ouwi
sh.JustknowI’
llwel
comey ou
wit
hopenar
mswhenshef ucksy
ouover.Tr
ustme
Suko,
shewi
l
l.
”
Allt
hatshe’ ssaidleav eswi t
hherasIat t enda
customer .Ihadthebestweekendandi fmov i
ngout
i
swhatNosi wants,thenIseenot hi
ngwr ongwi th
maki ngsuchacompr omi se.I
’llworkhardt oensur e
I’
m ablet osustai
nmy selfbecausengi yindodaandI
shouldn’tdependonany oneelse.Menar et hehead
ofthehousehol dandpr ov i
ders.Theygooutt owor k
whilethewomannur turesthehome.I t’
st hose
val
uest hatIgrewupwi th.Yes,mymom hadaj ob
butdadwor kedhardersohecoul dprovidef orallof
us.Hest il
ldoes.
IhopePoppyi sgoingt ounder standwhyIhav etodo
thi
s.I’m st
il
lgoi
ngt ocheckonherandGi gisowe’l
l
sti
ll
seeeachot her.Ihonest l
ydon’ tthi
nkt her
e’s
anythingsheshouldwor r
yabout .I’
m agr ownass
manaf t
erall
.If
eellikeI’mfloatingonthi sbubbleof
happinessthatcan’tbepopped.Poppyj usttr
iedbut
i
tdidn’twork.Il
oveherbutshehast olearntostop
i
nterferi
nginmybusi ness.Nosi andIar egoodso
ther
e’snothingshehast owor ryabout.
.
POPPY

Sukocanbesof r
ustrati
ngattimes.He’sat ypi
cal
exampleofpussypower .Nosij
ustgavehim af ew
whipsthensuddenlybecameanangel inhiseyes.
Thisi
sar epeatofhistor
yonhi spartbutI
’ll
lethim
l
earnthatthehardway .May beIshouldstopact i
ng
l
ikehe’
sababywhenhe’ sgrownandwel l
…ol der
thanme.
Monday sar enev erbusy .Onecanmakel i
ttl
eto
nothingt hewhol eday .Thef l
ashmachi nehascome
i
nhandy ,Ihadaf ewcust omer swantingai rti
me
whichr emi ndsmeIneedt ogiveSukot heoneIgot
him.Ihopehedoesaccepti tandwon’ tneedNosi ’
s
consent .Thisi sonl ythebeginningofherhol dover
him.She’ ll
pr obabl ystophi mf r
om compl etel
y
fucki
ngwi thmel ikenophonecal l
s,text sorsimple
meet ups( whi chIwon’ tal
low).Thenshe’ llstar
t
i
nfluencinghowhebehav es,tal
ksandev enwhathe
wears.Ihopei twon’ tgetthere.
Mphoj
ustcal
l
edaski
ngwher
eIam andIdi
dn’
tthi
nk
he’
llcomeher e.It houghthe’ l
lperhapswai tunti
lI
gethomeorsomet hi
ng.He’ sgoodcompanysoI
don’tmindseei nghi mt hi
smuch.Ihopehe’ l
lbeable
togetthrought oSukoi nawayt hough.Il ook
for
war dtothem meet ing.Anyway ,he’sinhi sfor
mal
wear;beigeslimfitsuitwi t
hawhi t
et-shirtandnot i
e.
He’sunbut t
onedt hef i
rsttwobut tons, gi
vingusa
peekofhi stautchest .Thismanoozessexappeal .
He’sgivi
ngmebot tom v i
besbutwe’ llsee.
Me:
“Di
dyouhav
etocomeher
e?”
Hechuckl
es.
Mpho: “Sorr
y.Ihaveafl
ightt
ocatchtoni
ghtandI’l
l
probablycomebacknextweeksoIt houghtIshoul
d
haveachatwi thyourf
ri
endfir
st.Youmadeitsound
i
mpor tant.
”
Me:“I
t’
sanSOSrightnowsothankyou.Hel
pme
cl
earupsi
nceyou’r
eheremuscleman.”
Wel augh.Hedi
dn’tcomewit
hhiscarbuti
nstead
gotoffataxi
.So,wepackupevery
thi
nginit
sbags
thenputitonmytroll
eywhi
chhepushes.
Me:
“Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
”
Mpho:“
Mymom wantsustomeett
henewmani
n
herl
i
fesoshe’
ssummonedal
lofushome.
”
Me:
“Howmanyki
dsdoesshehav
e?”
Mpho:“Three.I
’mthemiddl
echild.Ihav
easist
er
who’
smar riedandali
ttl
ebrot
herwho’sdoi
nghis
f
ir
styearatav i
ati
onschool
.Thatwomandoesn’t
t
akenof orananswer.”
Me:
“Wher
e’sy
ourdad?
”
Mpho: “
I’
dbel
yi
ng.Wehav
en’
ttal
kedi
nov
era
decade.
”
Idon’tprybecausehistonetell
smei t
’sasensi
tive
topi
c.Themoodshi ft
sintoalighteronewhenwe
digr
ess.Itel
lhim aboutGigiandthenaughtythings
hedoessomet i
mes.We’ r
elaughingandt al
ki
ngunt i
l
wepassmygat e.It’
swherewemeetNosi whogives
meal ookoverwithhernoseraisedup.Ithoughtshe
saidshe’l
lnevercomeher e.
Mpho:
“Hi
.”
Thi
shoe’scheeksr
edden.She’
sbr
ownski
nnedbutI
sawthat
.
Nosi
:“Hey
y”
I
t’
shighpit
ched,
khwee.Hasshef
orgot
tenmydear
bestf
ri
end?
Me:
“She’
sSuko’
sgi
rl
fr
iend.I
sheher
e?”
Sheshakesherheadwhil
ehereyesar
efixedon
Mpho.She’
slit
eral
lydr
ool
ingwit
hheart
yey es.
Me:
“Snapoutofi
t!
”
Mpho:“
Youlookf
ami
l
iar
.If
eel
li
keI
’
veseeny
ou
somewher
e.”
Herey
esj
ockoutoft
hei
rsocket
s.
Nosi
:“Me?
!No,
youhav
en’
t.We’
venev
erseeneach
ot
her.
”
Hechuckl
esandnods.
Mpho:
“Yourv
oice…”
Nosi
:“Ihav
etogo.
”
Shebolt
sawayli
keaheadlesschicken,maki
ngthe
bot
hofuslaugh.She’
sli
keathiefcaughti
nthe
act
ion.
Me:
“Whatt
hehel
lwast
hatabout
?”
Mpho:“So,
Iwentt
otheclubwit
hsomef ri
endson
Fri
dayandshewaswit
honeofthem.Hei nt
roduced
herasoneofhi
s…excusemylanguage,
hoes.”
Me:
“Real
l
y?”
Hechuckl
esandnods.
Mpho: “
Theywer
eall
overeachother
.Thatguy
l
it
erall
ywentt
odroponegir
lofft
hencamewi t
h
another
.”
Me:
“Damn,
y’al
lar
ereal
l
ytr
ash.
”
Mpho:
“Iwon’
tdi
sput
ethat
.”
Me:
“Wel
l
,let
’sgoi
n.Cany
oucook?
”
Hel
ooksatmewei
rdl
y.
Mpho:
“That
’sawoman’
sjob.
”
Me:
“Excuseme?
”
Mpho: “
Iknowi tmakesmesoundmisogyni
sti
cbut
I’
l
l f
oreverconsol
emy sel
fwi
tht
hatpat
ri
archal
statement.
”
Me:
“Yousonofagun!
”
Hel
aughswhenIpunchhi
m.
Gigif
indsmeal mostdonewi ththecooki
ng.Suko
sti
ll
hasn’tcomewhi chisn’
tli
kehim.Idon’twant
Mphomi ssinghisf
li
ghtbecausehe’ l
lhav
et ogo
soon.ThemancomeswhenI ’m set
ti
ngthetable,
all
topl
esswhi l
escrat
chinghishead.
Me:“Wherethehel
lhav
eyoubeenandwhyar
en’
t
youdressed?
”
Suko:
“It
’shot
.Youhav
eaguest
?”
Mphoi sintheloungeandont hecarpet
, pl
ayi
ng
puzzleswithGigi.Thetwoseem t ogetalong.Idon’
t
haveapr oblem withthem hangi
ngoutbecause
Mphoi saf r
iendandnotsomeoneI ’
lleverbewith.I
don’thavetowor ryaboutusf al
l
ingoutbecausehe’s
notinter
estedinmel ikethat.
Me: “
Yep.He’sact
ual
lywai
tingf
oryou.Hey,
wash
t
hosehandsbef or
etouchi
nganythi
ng!Wher
eare
yourmanners?”
Suko:
“I’
m hungr
ymanPoppy
.Idi
dn’
teatal
lday
.”
Me:
“Wai
taf
ewmi
nut
es.
”
Heheedstomyor derofwashinghandst henhelps
memov ethefoodtothedini
ngtable.Icallt
hetwo
pl
ayi
ngboy sbutnotwit
houtremindingthem to
washthei
rhands.
Me:
“Suko,
thi
sisMpho.Mpho,
thi
sisTi
nto”
Suko:
“Idon’
tknowwhoshe’ stal
ki
ngabout
.I’
m
Sukol
uhl
eorjustLuhl
e,Soso.Anythi
ngy
ouprefer
”
Ir
aiseaney
ebr
ow.
Gi
gi:
“MySoso”
Wel
augh.
Mpho:“IguessI’
l
lst
ickt
oSukosi
nceSosohasi
ts
cl
aimant.Nicet
omeetyou.
”
Theyshakehands.
Suko:
“Doy ouevendoany
thi
ng?Yourhandi
ssof
t
l
ikeafeat
her.”
Mpho:
“OHt
hanky
ou.Ihav
epeopl
efort
hat
.”
Me:
“Ah,
who’
sbei
ngsuchamannow?
”
Hechuckl
es.
Mpho:“
I’
m ki
ddi
ng.Ij
ustt
akegoodcar
eofmy
sel
f,
t
hat’
sal
l.
”
Me:
“Canwepr
ay?
”
Mpho:
“You’
l
lhav
etol
eav
emeoutofi
t.
”
Thethreeofusholdhands.Byt
heti
meI’
m done
sayi
nggr ace,
he’
salr
eadyduginal
ongwi
thhisnew
bestfr
iend.
Me:
“You’
resuchabadi
nfl
uence.
”
Mpho:
“Notal
way
s.Icanbegoodt
oo.
”
Me:“OhSuko,Mphoisanest
ateagentbr
okerand
he’
salsoalandl
ord.
”
Suko:
“He’
syournewman?
”
Mpho:
“I’
m si
ngl
e.”
Me: “
YouknowOki woul dkil
lhi
m anyway.Ifhewas
mine,we’
dbesneaki ngaround.Anyway,he’s32.He
hadtoraisecapi
tal byworkinginafarmthenl at
er
hadapoul t
rybusinesswhi chsortofpav
edt heway
forhi
mt ogot ovarsity
.Cany oubeli
evehespent
y
ear
str
yingt
omakehi
sbusi
nesswor
k?”
Suko:
“Youknowal
otaboutt
heguy
.”
Me:
“SamewayIknowabouty
ou.Ar
eyouj
eal
ous?
”
Suko:
“Notr
eal
l
y.Whypr
oper
ty?
”
Mpho: “
I’m aborncapi
tali
stsoI’
m al
waysexpl
ori
ng
i
ndustri
eswher eIcanmaket hemostret
urns.
Propert
yhasbeent hatforawhil
e.Peopl
eare
al
way slookingtobuy,
sellorr
entspacesoI’
m
happytopr ovi
dethatf
orthem.”
Suko:
“Youhav
eaqual
i
ficat
ioni
nthat
?”
Mpho: “Yeah, Idi daBSci nConst r
uct ionSt udiesbut
Ihadt owor ki nor dert orai
semoneyf ort hat.I
start
eddoi ngpi ecej obsinGr ade11t henwentf ull
ti
meaf t
ermat ri
c.So, i
twast woy ear sataf armt hen
Istart
edt hepoul trybusinessaf termat r
ic.Thattook
fi
vey earsov eral l
soIwentt ouni ver si
t yat21.The
degreet ookf oury earsthenf rom ther eIdi dat wo
yearsinternship.Ihadmyf irstOf f
icial jobat27.I
quitay earafterbecauseIf eltstagnat edsoI
decidedt ostar tmyowncompanyi nst ead.NowI ’
m
here,fl
yinginpr ivatejetsandal l
.”
Me:
“Oh,
shutup!
”
Welaugh.Sukoseemst obedeepinthoughtandI ’
m
hopi
ngit’
sbecauseofwhatMphoj ustt
oldus.The
di
nnerisfi
nishedundercomfor
tabl
esil
ence.Gigi
goestosl
eept henIgooutbecauseOkij
ustcalled.
Oki
:“You’
recheat
ingonme?
!”
He’
sli
kearagi
ngfi
re.Hi
srai
sedv
oiceal
mostbr
oke
hi
scarwi
ndows.
Me:
“Youst
il
lhav
emewat
ched?
”
Oki
:“Answert
hedamnquest
ionPoppy
!”
Me:“No.Doyouthi
nkI’
dmakei
tthatobv
ious?I
’
m
notafool
,youknow.
”
Oki:“So,whoishe?Youwerel
aughingwhi
le
paradingthestr
eet
sanddidn’
tevenseemepass
youbyt heroadbecausey
oureyeswerel
ockedon
his!
”
Me: “
He’sjustafri
end,rel
ax.Besi
des,Iwoul
dn’
tbe
denyi
ngitifitwastrue.Iwasundertheimpr
essi
on
thatyouknowt hataboutme.”
Oki
:“Mxm”
Hequickl
yunbuckl
eshispantsthenfreeshi
s
manhood.Themanpul l
smywi goff,t
hrowsit
somewhereinthebackseatt
henhishandont he
backofmyneckpullsmedownsoI ’
mf aci
ngit.
Oki
:“Openup”
Hej
ustmanhandl
edme!
.
SUKOLUHLE

Mpho:
“Ihav
etogo.Thi
shasgot
tent
ooawkwar
d
f
orme.”
We’vebeensi t
ti
nginsil
encesincePoppyexcused
hersel
f,eachengrossedi
nhisthoughts.HisstoryisI
guessinspir
ingandit’
salit
tl
ecomf ort
ingknowi ng
I’
m nottheonlyonewhoexper i
encedst r
uggles.He’s
arr
ivedthereandI’m al
it
tl
econfidentIwil
ltoo.
Me:
“I’
m sor
ryman,
Ihav
eal
otonmymi
nd.
”
Hegi
vesmeat
ight
-l
ippedsmi
l
ewhi
l
enoddi
ng.
Mpho:
“It
’sOK.Ihav
eaf
li
ghtt
ocat
chany
way
.”
Me:
“You’
renotgoi
ngt
owai
tforher
?”
He’dbarel
yst
oodupsoheshiftst
ot hebackofthe
couchandrel
axes,
butnotbef
oreglanci
ngathis
expensi
vewri
stwat
ch.
Mpho:
“Tel
lmeabouty
ou.
”
Me:
“Ther
eisn’
tmucht
otel
l
.”
Ican’tcompar etowhathe’ ssadandy es,I
’
m
embar r
assedt hatIdon’thaveachievementsto
flaunt.Ionlyhav emat r
icbuthowmanypeopl edon’ t
?
Itdoesn’tholdasmuchwei ghtasitdidint
hepast .
Heck, Idon’tthinkitholdsanyweightatall
nowaday s.Notwi t
ht hemanygr aduateswhoar e
alsosi t
ti
ngathomewi thmastersanddoctorates.
Lifeistoughouchea.
Mpho:
“Idoubtso.
”
Iscof
fbi
tt
erl
y,i
fonl
yheknew.
Me:“Idon’thaveany
t hi
ngreal
ly
.Imatri
cul
atedat
l
east,I
’m aformerdruggieandI’
m cur
rent
lya
hawker.
”
Ishr
ug.I
t’
sembar
rassi
ngsay
ingt
hist
oar
ichguy
whohashisownbusinessandfl
iesi
npri
vatej
ets.At
l
easthe’
solderthanme,ev
enthoughhedoesn’
t
l
ookit.I
twouldhavebeenmoredemeani
ngifhe
wasyoungerthanme.
Mpho:
“That
’sdepr
essi
ng.
”
Isni
cker.He’snonchalantwi
thahintofdi
sint
erest
.
Whyam It al
kingtohim?Peopleli
kemeshoul dn’
t
evenbreathethesameai raspeopl
eli
kehim.
Me:
“Doy
oucomef
rom money
?”
Hechuckl
es.
Mpho:“
Doyouthi
nkIwouldhaveworkedi
nafar
m
by16?Woul
dIevenhavespentyear
sworki
ngmy
assof
fsoIcangotouni
versi
ty?
”
Thathadsl
i
ppedmymi
nd.
Me: “
Icomef r
om amiddle-
classf
amily
.They’
ve
giv
enuponmeandIdon’ tbl
amet hem.If
eell
ike
suchafail
ure.Atl
easty
ouhadaj obat27.Ihave
nothi
ng.”
Mpho:
“You’
re27?
”
Inod.
Mpho:“
Andy
out
hinkmoneyi
swhat
’sst
oppi
ng
you?
”
Me:
“Yep.
”
Mpho: “No,youare.Ifaboyf r
om av i
l
lagecoul d
makei ttowherehei snowt henwhat’sstoppingyou?
Iwor kedf i
veyear
sj usttogetint
ouniversitysoI
thinkyoucanwor kt obuildyourdream.Ev eryli
tt
le
bitcount s.I
’dadv
isey outoleavethedatingand
ratherfocusonsecur i
ngthebagbecausei t’swhat’
s
der ai
li
ngy ou.”
Me:
“Youapr
ophet
?”
Hechuckl
esandshakeshi
shead.
Mpho:“Icanseeit
,though.Girl
sarehigh
maint
enanceandtheycaneasi l
yleaveyoufor
someonewi t
hmor emoneyt henyou’
llbelef
tfeel
i
ng
l
ikeapieceoffai
l
ureanddemeani ngy our
self
.”
Me:“Howwoul
dyouknowwheny
ou’
venev
erhada
gi
rl
fr
iend?
”
Hef
urr
owshi
sey
ebr
ows.
Mpho:
“Whatmakesy
ousayt
hat
?”
Me:“Don’
tworr
y.Youmi ghtber
ightt
oacer t
ain
ext
entbutIhav
eaf eel
i
ngt hi
soneisdif
fer
ent.
”
Mpho:
“Ify
ousayso.Whatcany
oudo?
”
Me:
“Icanmakehercomewi
thmyt
ongue”
Iwi
ggl
eitout
.
Mpho:
“I’
mtal
ki
ngabouty
ourt
alent
,don’
tbenast
y.”
Me:“I
tisat
alent
.Mysexgamei
soutoft
hiswor
ld
dude.
”
Mpho:“Ican’tdi
sput
ethatandbackt
omyquest
ion,
whatcany oudo?”
Me: “
So,youdon’
tgett
ir
edofbei
ngamot
ivat
ional
speaker
?”
I’
ml ayi
ngcasuallyonthecouchwhi
lehelookslike
he’sinaninter
view;sit
ti
ngwit
hhisbackstr
aightand
shouldersnotslouched.
Mpho:
“Nope.Nev
er.
”
Me:
“I’
my ourhar
dwar eguy
.Ifyouneedacomputer
t
obefixed,
lapt
op,iPadorphonethenyoucancome
t
omebutonl yi
fit
’sahardwareprobl
em.Poppycan
handl
ethesoft
ware,
she’sbadlikethat.Ist
olea
phoneonceandshemadei tseem brandnew.I’ma
handymanIguesssinceIcanalsofixappli
ances.
”
Mpho:“Andyoubothhavenevert
houghtofopeni
ng
arepai
rsst
ore?You’r
ebasical
l
ysit
ti
ngonat al
ent
t
hatcanmakey ouloadsofmoney.
”
Me: “
Renti
ngspaceisexpensiveandi
nvi
ti
ngpeople
hereisl
ikesl
eepi
ngwiththedooropen.Besi
des,
ther
eareIndi
ansateverycornerwhodothat
.Black
peopledon’
tsuppor
tblacks.
”
Mpho:
“I’
m onl
yhear
ingexcuses.
”
Me:
“Doy
ouhav
efr
iends?
”
Hegi
vesmeawei
rdl
ook.
Mpho:
“Ido,
why
”
Me:
“Whatdoy
oudowi
thy
ourf
ri
endsf
orf
un?
”
Mpho:
“Got
othecl
ub.
”
Me:
“Whatki
nd?Ani
ghtcl
ub?
”
Mpho:
“Wel
l
,yes.What
’swi
tht
hequest
ions?
”
Me:
“Youseem al
i
ttl
eupt
ight
.Don’
tyougett
ir
edof
t
alki
ngbusi
ness?I
t’
saf
terhour
s.”
He’smaki ngmeseem st upi
d,uselessevenandI
don’tthi
nkIlikethat.Li
feishard,struggl
eisreal
and
everyt
hingisn’taseasyashemakesi tseem t
obe.
Heshoul dknowsi ncehehadt owor kwhenhewas
i
nhi ghschool .
Mpho:“
I’
minsul
ted.I
’mthel
i
feoft
hepar
ty,
how
dar
eyoucal
lmeupt i
ght
?”
‘
Well
,you’remaki
ngmef eelwor
sebutI’
m not
complai
ning!
’mymindscreams.It
’sadi
ckmov ebut
hedoesn’
tseem aff
ect
ed.
Me:“I
’l
lbel
iev
eitwhenIseeit.Let
’smakeadeal.
”
Henods.“We’l
lgooutt
oapubwheny ouhav
ethe
t
imesoIcanmakemyownobser vat
ion.Howdi
d
youandPopsbecomefriends?”
Mpho:“Wemetatabarbershop.Shewasdoi
ngher
nai
l
s;Ineededahai
rcut
.”
Me:
“You’
reawel
l
-gr
oomedf
ell
ow,
aren’
tyou?
”
Mpho:
“Il
i
kel
ooki
ngaf
termy
sel
f.
”
Me:
“Icanseet
hat
.Any
way
,you’
l
ltel
lme,
right
?”
Mpho:
“Sur
e.Wher
eisshe?
”
Me:
“Get
ti
ngl
aid.
”
I
t’
sahi
ghpossi
bil
i
tywhenOki
isher
emi
d-mont
h.
Mpho:
“Howl
ongwi
l
lshet
ake?Ir
eal
l
yhav
etogo.
”
Me:“
I’
ll
tel
lhery
oul
eft
.She’
staki
ngl
ongert
hanI
t
hought
.”
Mpho: “Thi
nkaboutwhatIsai
d,neh?Aboutthestor
e.
TalktoPoppyandhearwhatshesay s.Youguyscan
star
tbymaki ngpost
ersadver
ti
singwhatyoucando
thentakeitfr
om t
here,
gofrom AtoB.Bietj
i
ebietj
ie
maakmeer ”
Icogit
ateonhiswords,t
ryi
ngtoseethingsfrom hi
s
perspect
ivewhenIreal
i
sethathe’
sright.Iknow
PoppydidthisformesoIoweherabi ghug.I
honestl
ydon’tknowwhatI’
ddowithouther .
*
***
*
Thoughts?I
'dr
eallyappreci
atemorecomment s
guys.Thepageisgrowing,i
nter
actionnotsomuch.
Let
'sengage,t
ellmewhaty outhinkaboutthest
ory
sofarandwhetheryouhav eafavorit
e.
Shar
esandr
eact
ionswi
l
lal
sobeappr
eci
ated.
Asfrom t
omorrow,I
'
llbepost
ingper
schedul
e(Monday
,WednesdayandFri
day
)
SI
X
★★★★
SUKOLUHLE

Me:
“Idon’
tdeser
vey
ou.
”
Shel
ooksatmeforaf
ewsecondst
henli
ght
lysl
aps
me.It
ouchmycheekt
henl
ookather.
Me:
“Whatt
hehel
lwast
hatf
or?
”
Poppy:“
Paymentforthatbul
lcomingoutofyour
mouth.Idon’
twanttoeverhearyousaythat
.”
Shemeansbusiness,herfacesaysi
t.Isi
ghandhol
d
herhand.We’
rehavingbreakfast
.
Me:“
Thankyouforyest
erday
,br
ingi
ngthatguyov
er
sohecantel
lmehisstor
y.Iwasmotiv
atedand
i
nspi
red.
”
Shesmi
l
es.
Poppy:“
Metoo.Hejustremindedmeofy ouinthe
way.He’
sli
kethepersi
stentandresi
l
ientver
sionof
you.
”
Ir
aiseaney
ebr
ow.
Me:
“Excuseme?
”
Poppy:“You’
rel
azySuko.Youwantthi
ngstohappen
butyou’
renotputt
ingi
nmucheffort
.Lookathow
l
ongittookyoutojoi
nmeont hestr
eets,
andIhad
beentel
lingy
ouaboutit
!”
Me: “
It’
snotli
keIwasn’
tappl
yingf
orotherj
obs!You
ofallpeopl
eknowhowmuchIhav ebecauseyou
walkedwithmethroughever
ybusi
nessandshop.”
Poppy
:“Whatdoy
out
hinkofhi
m?”
Me:
“Yourf
ri
end?
”
Shenods.I’
m gl
adshechangedthesubj
ectbecause
Iwasgetti
ngworkedup.Ihat
efeel
ingusel
essbut
thef
eeli
ngisstubbor
n,al
wayshoveri
ngaroundmy
emoti
ons.
Me:“
Heseemst ohav
eli
feall
f i
gur
edoutbutt
her
e’s
ahi
ntofsadnessi
nhim,
lonel
inessev
en.
”
Poppy:“
That
’sr
atherdeep.Iwast
alki
ngabouthi
s
physi
que.
”
Me:
“Iwasn’
tchecki
nghi
m outso…”
Ishr
ug.
Poppy
:“I
shehandsomeornot
?”
Me:
“Whyar
eyouaski
ngmeal
lthi
s?”
Shechuckl
esandshr
ugs.
Poppy
:“Just
.Iwant
edt
oknowwhaty
out
houghtof
hi
m.”
Me:
“Why
?”
Poppy
: “
He’sourfr
iendnow.You’
regoi
ngt
oseea
l
otoftheguy,bearoundhi
m.”
Me:
“Wel
l
,Idon’
thav
eapr
obl
em wi
thhi
m.”
Shesmi
l
es.
Poppy
:“Gr
eatt
hen.
”
.

POPPY

Ineverthoughtt
hisdaywil
lcomesosoon.I
t’
st he
fi
rstdayofthemission,
Sukoisf
reaki
ngoutnextto
me.He’sMr.Goodytwoshoessothisdoesn’
t
sur
pri
seme.He’sluckyit
stwohoursbefor
ethecar
comestofetchus.Okiwental
lout
.
Me:“I
’m goi
ngmessupt
hismakeupi
fyoudon’
tsi
t
st
il
l.
”
Suko:
“I’
m aman,
Idon’
tneedmakeup.
”
Me:“Youal
sodon’tneedamugshotbecausey
ou’
re
goi
ngtojai
li
ftheyrecogni
zey
ou.We’r
ebeingsaf
e.”
Suko:“Whati
fImessup?Ther
e’sal
otr
ely
ingon
thi
s.”
Me:
“Theny
oubet
ternot
.Readyt
omeetAsha?
”
It
urnhi
schai
rsohe’
sface-
to-
facewi
thmymi
rr
or.
Suko:
“Howdoy
ouknowt
his?Icanbar
elyr
ecogni
ze
mysel
f.”
Year
sofexper
iencehoneybuty
oudon’
tneedt
o
knowthat
.
Me:“Thesear
eyourl
enses.Ineedt
odomy
makeup.”
Suko:
“Ar
eyoual
sot
urni
ngI
ndi
an?
”
Me:
“Wai
tandsee.
”
Timemov esf
astert
hanant
ici
pated.Anhourand
halfl
ater
,we’
redoneandwait
ingforthecar
.
Suko:
“Can’
tyougi
vemesomet
hingf
ort
heanxi
ety
?”
Me:“No.Idon’
twanty
our
elapsi
ngSuko,
drugsar
e
addi
cti
ve.
”
Hesi
ghst
hennods.I
t’
sforhi
sowngood.
Me: “
You’l
ldogood.Don’tover
thi
nki
tanddon’
ttr
y
toomuch.You’r
esmar tSuko.Youmemori
zedyour
bio,
right
?”
Suko:
“Idi
d.Iev
enhav
eanaccent
”
Me:
“Good.Ther
e’sal
otatst
akeher
e.”
Iruntomyr oom f
orthegiftIgothi
m.I’
m hopingit
’l
l
cheerhim upeventhoughit’
snothi
ngbig.Igivehi
m
thegiftbox,
themanl ooki
ngatmewi t
har aised
eyebrow.
Me:
“Openi
t.I
t’
snot
hingmuchbuti
t’
ll
hel
p.”
Hesmil
eswhenhedoes,pul
l
ingmef
orasqueez
e
t
henpecki
ngmyfor
ehead.
Me:“Ishoul
dhavegi
veni
ttoy
ousooner
,I’
m sor
ry
butIhopeyoul
ikei
t.
”
Suko:“Thankyou.Iowey ousomuchalr
eadyPoppy
,
you’
vebeenwi t
hmet hr
oughmylowestandI’
m
grat
eful,
mor et
hany oucanimagi
ne.
”
Me:
“It
’swhatbestf
ri
endsar
efor
.”
Wehugagai
n.
Thecarcomesbutbef or
ewel eave,weholdhands
i
npr ayer
.Ii
nvi
teGodinallt
hatIdo( exceptwhen
ful
fi
lli
ngfl
eshdesi
res)andIknowt hi
siskindof
twi
stedbutwe’l
lneedtheprotect
ion.
He’slessanxi
ouswhenwegeti nt
hecarsoI
assumet heprayerhel
ped.We’
vef
amil
iar
ized
ourselv
eswiththemapsowebasical
lyknowhowt
o
navigatet
hehotel.
Entr
anceisstr
ictattheconf
erencehall
, t
here’
s
someonestandingtomar kt
her egi
ster
.It’
sa
beauti
ful
sli
m, dar
kskinnedwomanwho’ shighheel
s
doesn’
tdomucht oconceal
hershortframe.She
smil
esatus,reveali
ngherdeepcheekdi mple.
Her:“
Goodeveni
ngsi
randmadam.I
nit
ial
and
sur
nameplease.
”
Me:
“P.Nai
dooandA.Muhammed.
”
Shegi vesuscar dsandal lowsusi n.Thecardsalso
haveouri niti
alsandsur names, probabl
ytomake
conv ersationeasier.Ther oom alreadyhasafew
peopl ewithwai t
erscir
culat i
ngwhi l
eholdi
ngtrays.
It
’ssophi sticated,cl
assyandsmel l
sofexpensiv
e
perfumeandr andelas.Imi ghtgetnastytoni
ght,who
knows.I ’l
l havetwoweekst oclearevi
denceofmy
i
nfidelity
.
Me:
“Wecan’
tlookl
ostso…net
wor
k”
.
SUKOLUHLE

Thef ir
sttwent
ymi nuteswereawkwar dandner ve-
rackingforme.Itr
iednottolookoutofpl acebutit
washar d.I’
dneverbeenonet oinvol
vemy sel
fin
corporatebusi
nessev ent
ssoIf el
toutofpl ace.I
’v
e
gottenthehangofi tnow,t
alki
ngsmar tl
iket he
engineerI’m supposedt obe.I t’
snothar dbecause
therewasonceat i
mei nmyl ifeIwasi nterest
edi n
beingamechani calengineer.Mosai sher etooand
theoneI ’m curr
entlyholdi
ngaconv ersat
ionwi th.I
shouldf eelbadbecauseshe’ smysi st
erbutaf t
er
whathappenedaf ewday sago, Idon’thav eany
compassi on.She’ssoobl ivi
ouswhi chmakesme
reali
sehowmuchshedoesn’ tknowme.Shekeeps
brushingherhandonmyf orearm, l
aughingal it
t l
e
toohar dandf l
appingherey el ashesatme.I ’
m
disgustedbecauset hi
sismysi sterbutit’sunder
Asha’sf açadesohe’ sunaf f
ect ed.
Mosa:“Arey
ouandt
hatwomany
oucamewi
th
t
ogether?
”
Me:
“Yes,
wear
eduet
ogetmar
ri
edsoon.
”
Shefrowns,pushi
ngherbr
east
stomyf
ace.I
’
m
abouttopuke.
Mosa:
“Oh?When’st
hebachel
orpar
ty?I
’
m pr
ett
y
sur
ewecan…organi
zesomethi
ng.
”
Okii
swr
ongfort
his.Wher
edoeshet
hinkmysi
ster
get
smoney
?ButthenIthi
nkofhowI
’
m bei
ng
depri
vedoft
hesamemoneyandhowmuchofa
l
osershethi
nksIam.Sheri
dicul
edmeandev en
thr
ewahundredrandatmesot hi
sisnot
hing.I
’
m
moreencour
agedtogoaheadwi t
hit
.
IhearPoppy’
slaught
ersomewher ei
nt her
oom,
scanni
ngitt
of i
ndherentertai
ningtwomales.I
chuckl
einwardl
y,watchi
nghowt hey
’reeat
ingherup.
Shehasthem inthepalm ofherhand.
Me:“We’
resupposedtobetalki
ngbusi
ness.Di
dn’
t
yousayy
ou’r
erepresent
ingyourfat
her
?”
Ialreadyhavehert humbprintsowhat’slef
tisforme
tofindawayt ogetherphone.Whent hewai ter
passesbyus, Istophi
mt hengr abaglassof
champagnef orher.Shetakesitwithablush.Iknow
alcoholleadstocount l
esstoil
ettri
psandwi t
hhow
she’sgoing,it
’ll
leadtothat.
Myey
esf
indPoppy
’sandshegi
vesmeawi
nk.
Mosa:
“Ineedt
her
est
room.
”
Thest
upi
dthi
ngshedoesi
sgi
vi
ngmeherpur
se.
Mosa:
“Wi
l
lyouwal
kme?Tel
lmemor
eaboutwhat
i
nspi
redy
ourl
ovef
ormachi
nes.
”
Me:“They
’remor
ereli
abl
et hanpeople.Machines
don’
tswit
chupony ouaslongasy oumai nt
ainthem.
Theygett
hejobdoneandar eeff
ecti
v e.
”
Shel
aughs.
Mosa:“That’
ssweet.Yousoundli
kesomeonewho’
s
beenhurtbefor
e.Ex
-gir
lf
ri
end?”
Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“Youcansayt
hat
.”
Mosa: “So,youburyyourselfinworkinst
ead?
Relat
ionshipcanbedr ai
ningandcomewi thalotof
expectati
onsandr esponsibil
i
ties.I
t’
swhyI’dr
ather
docasual hookups”
Me:
“Don’
ttaket
ool
ongi
nther
e”
Shegiggles.Istandoutsi
dethetoi
letandwor kmy
magic.Iknowshe’ l
ltakefor
everi
nt her
e,she’sagi
rl
aft
erall
.Reliefwashesovermewhent enmi nut
es
passedandmi ssi
onhasbeenaccompl ished.Fi
nal
ly
.
Mosa:“
DidItaketoolong?It
houghtIhadmypur
se
soIwaslooki
ngforitthenIf
inal
l
yremember
edyou
hav
eit
.”
Shefini
sheswithalightgi
ggl
e.Igi
veitbackt
oher
.
It
’sveri
fi
ed;Inolongerhav
eaconscience.Myown
si
ster?Yep.
.

POPPY

Thefi
rstni
ghtgoeswel l
.IwasnervousofSuko
messi
ngupbutIt hinkhedidwel
l.Iwasn’
t
par
ti
cular
lywatchinghi
m oranyt
hingbutIdi
dsee
hi
m Leavewit
hhi ssist
er.
Thegi r
l hasnoshame, fl
irt
ingwi t
hherbr ot
herlike
that.Yeah,shepr obablycan’ tr
ecogni
zehi m butt hi
s
showssheal sodoesn’ tknowhi m.They ’
reonlytwo
peoplewho’ drecogni zemeunderanydi sguise(Oki
excluded)ev enthoughIhav en’
tseenthem inthr ee
yearsorso.I tfeel
slikeit’
sbeenmor ethough.The
eventfinall
ycomest otheendorweexcuse
ourselves,Idon’tknow.I’vehadaboutt wogl asses
ofchampagneandaf
ewsnacks.I
’
mful
landal
i
ttl
e
drowsy
.
Me:
“Howdi
dyoudo?
”
We’ r
enowi nthecar ,themannextt omeseemi ngly
deepi nthought .Ihav eani deaofwhathe’ st hinking
ofandIdon’ tt
hi nkIbl amehi m.Imi ghthav edone
thismy ri
adt i
mesbuthehasn’ t
.Firstt i
mei salway s
al i
tt
leshakyandt ugsaty ourconsci ence.You’ re
obv i
ouslyrobbingpeopl ewhi chmakesy ouquest i
on
youret hi
csandt hent her e’
st hei ssueofkar ma.I t’
s
thefeari ti
nsti
llst hatmakespeopl et hreadcar efull
y
i
nl if
e.Theydon’ tinfli
ctanyi ntentional pai
norhur tin
peoplebecauset heyf eart hoseact i
onshaunt i
ng
them int hefuture.Idon’ tcar er eally.Ther ear e
peopledoi ngwor secr imei nourcount rywho’ ve
gottenawaywi thi t.Atl eastI ’m notki ll
ingany oneor
deprivi
ngt hem ofany thing.I ’
m mer el ytakingcent s
from ther i
chwhi cht heymi ghtnothav eanygood
usef or,noharmi nt hat .Sur e, i
t’
llpingt hei
rpocket s
butit’
snot hingtheywon’ tbeabl et or eplaceor
mul t
iplyeven.
Suko:
“I’
m abast
ard.
”
Hechuckl
es,l
ooki
ngatt
her
oofoft
hecarbef
orehi
s
ey
esfindmine.
Suko: “
Myownsi sterwas…fli
rti
ngwi thme.I ’
ma
damngoodact orbecauseshedidn’tseehow
di
sgust edasIwas.Imaginethesamel it
tlegir
lwho
grewupi nyoureyes,whom Ishareasur namewi t
h
pushingherbreastsonmyf ace.Ifeltl
ikeaf ucken
pervertbutIdon’
tregrett
hat.
”
Me:
“Doy
out
hinkshehasmoneyt
hough?
”
Hechuckl
es.
Suko:“
Idon’
tknowbutIt
hinkOkidi
dhisresearch.
Heprobabl
yknowshowmuchshehasi nher
pocket
s.I
t’
snotli
kewe’
relooki
ngtogetmill
ions.
”
Me: “
Yeah,wel
l
.Ithi
nkhewantedustostar
twi t
h
thosewit
hasmallerbankbal
ancet
henmor easwe
conti
nue.I
twasthefir
stdayf
oryouaf
teral
l.”
Suko:
“Asl
ongasIwon’
thavetosl
eepwi
thwomen
ol
denoughtobemymother
.”
Il
augh,
he’
l
lnev
erl
ett
hatonego.
Me:
“Itwasj
ustonet
ime.
”
Suko:
“Onetimet
oomany
.Thei
magemakesme
wanttopuke.
”
Il
aughagai
n,pushi
nghi
m.
Me:“Youl
i
e.Shedi
dn’
tlookt
hatol
d!Andy
ousai
d
shewas–”
Suko:“
Tight
.Ir
emember.Oki
wasst
il
lwr
ongf
ort
his,
can’
tbeli
eveIl
ovedi
t.
”
Me:
“Yah,
Mosai
sfor
war
d.Shedeser
vedi
t.
”
Suko:
“I’
m mor
esurpr
isedatherbeingint
erest
edi
n
aman.Whendidshestar
tbeingbisexual
?”
Ishrug.Idon’
tli
kehowhe’
slooki
ngatmel
i
keIhol
d
theanswers.
Me:“Ha.aSuko.I
’
m notaboutt
odi
scussmysexual
endeav
orswithyou.
”
Hechuckl
es.
Suko:
“Comeon.
”
Me: “
Youwantmet
otel
lyouabouty
ourl
i
ttl
esi
ster
’s
pussy?”
Hegr
imaces.
Me:
“Exact
ly.
”
.
SUKOLUHLE

AllIwanti
storelax.I’
m stil
lwai t
ingfort
heguiltto
chokeme.I’m wait
ingt oreminisceabouttoni
ght
andtastei
tonmyt onguebutnot hi
ngcomes.Inf act
,
whatdoesisadrenal i
neasIt hinkoftomorrowand
howeasyitmightbef ormesi nceI’v
egottenthe
hangofthi
ngs.Ifeel l
ikeadoubl eagentinaway ;
hawkerbydayandf akeengineerbyt heni
ght.I
wonderift
hiscouldbeamov iebecauseitsurefeels
l
ikeit.
Poppy
:“Seey
out
omor
rowAsha”
Il
augh.
Me:
“Tomor
rowi
tisMi
ssNai
doo.
”
Theli
ghtsinmyr oom areon,whichhasmer ai
sing
aneyebrow.Lastti
meIchecked; Iwastheonlywit
h
thekeys.Poppyi
ssur pri
sedtoseemebacki nher
housesosoon.We’ vejustpar
ted.
Me:
“Whoel
sehasmyr
oom key
s?”
Poppy:“
MebutIobv
iousl
ywoul
dn’
tgi
vet
hem t
o
anyoneel
se.Why
?”
Me:
“Thel
i
ght
sar
eon.Il
eftt
hem of
f”
Poppy:“
Look,cl
eanupbecausewecan’
thav
e
anyonebl
owingourcov
erthenwe’
ll
go.”
Inod.
IhaveherwalkingbehindmebecauseI ’m notabout
tohaveheri
nanydangert hatIcanprevent.I’
d
rat
herwhoeveri ti
sgot hr
oughmef irst
.Thedoori s
open,whi
chringsanotheralarm bel
l.Whati fr
atsget
i
n?Ormosqui toes.Thoselit
tl
einsectsareannoy i
ng.
Poppy
:“Wedon’
thav
eweapons”
Me:
“Nosi
pho!
”
She’sonmybed, nakedwhileonthephone.Shegets
st
artled,
droppi
ngthedev i
cethenscr
eamingwhile
att
empt i
ngtocoverhersel
fup.
Nosi
:“Getheroutofher
e!”
Poppy
:“Isawi
tei
therway
.”
Shechuckl
esonherwayout
.
Me:
“Howdi
dyougeti
n?”
Nosi
:“I
sthatal
lyoucar
eabout?Yourli
tt
lefr
iend
j
ustsawmenaked!Doy ouhav
eanyi deahow
embarr
assi
ngthati
s?”
Me:
“Sur
elyy
oudi
dn’
tthi
nkIwoul
dn’
tcomeback”
Nosi
:“Idi
dn’
texpecty
out
obewi
thher
.Wher
ewer
e
you?
”
Me:
“Iwasout
.Nosi
pho,
whatdi
dwewal
kon?
”
Shedoesthebl
i
nki
ngr
api
dlyt
hingsoIknowshe’
s
goi
ngtoli
e.
Nosi
:“Not
hing”
Me:“
So,youwer
en’
tmastur
batingonv
ideocamer
a
pr
obabl
ytosomeni
gger
’svoice?”
Nosi:
“Iwil
lnotbedemeanedbyy ouSukoluhl
e.Are
youmakingmet obeaharl
ot,
takingvi
deosofher
pri
vat
epartli
kesomepornst
ar?!You’
reinsult
ing
me!”
Me:
“It
’saquest
ion.Youal
way
sbel
l
owev
eryt
imeI
cal
lyououtont
hingst
haty
oudobuti
t’
sfi
ne,
let
’s
notf
ight
.”
Sheget
sof
fthebedandst
art
sgat
her
inghercl
othes.
Nosi:“Ishouldhav
eknownbett
erthantotr
yand
surpri
sey ou.Nowthathoei
sgoi
ngt osi
ngitt
othe
wholewor ld.Howdareyoudot
histomeSuko?I
don’tevenknowwhyI ’
m sti
l
lwi
thyou.”
Irushtoherandgr abherwr ist,shecan’tleave.She
yanksher sel
foffthenget sdr essed.Ibit
emyl i
p
whilelookingathert r
yingtof itint
oherski nnyjeans.
Sher el
easesabr eathofr el
iefwhenshef inall
yget s
thedenim pasthert hi
ghs.She’ sgett
ingthick.
Nosi
:“Suchal
oser
.”
Ibl
ockherwhenshet
ri
est
owal
kpastme.Wehav
e
tot
alkaboutt
his.
Nosi
:“Mov
e!”
Me:
“Notbef
orewetal
k.I
’
m sor
ryandyoudon’thav
e
t
oworr
yaboutPoppy,
shewon’
tsayanyt
hing.
”
Herchesti
sheav
ingf
rant
ical
l
y,whatwr
ongdi
dIdo?
Nosi
:“YouseewhyIwanty
out
omov
e?Ther
e’sno
pr
ivacyher
e!”
Inod,
cuppi
ngherf
ace.
Me:“I’
m goi
ngtomove,OK?Bytheendofnextweek,
I
’l
lbeoutofhereandyouwon’
thavetoworr
yabout
arepeatoft
oday.
”
Nosi
:“Youbet
terSukoory
ouandIar
eov
er.I
’
m not
bl
uff
ing”
Me:
“Iknowbaby
.Howdi
dyougeti
nher
e?”
Nosi
:“Ihavemyway s.I
’
ml eav
ing.You’
l
lcal
lme
whenyou’r
enolongerhere”
Me: “
Butit
’slat
eandy ouknowhowdangerousthe
st
reetsareatnight
,especi
all
yforawoman.Sl
eep
overthenI’
l
lwalkyouhomei nthemorni
ng.
”
Nosi
:“I
’
m notst
ayi
nghereanyl
ongersoyou’
l
lwal
k
meoutnow.Youdi
dn’
ttell
mewherey ouwer
e”
Me:“
Iwasout
.Let
’sgot
hen,
doy
ouhav
e
ev
ery
thi
ng?
”
Shenods.We’r
equietont hatwal
k,whichisn’
tlike
usbutIhaveafeel
i
ngi fIsaysomethi
ng, she’
llget
upset
.Shesendsmebackhal f
waythrough,li
ke
usual butI’
ll obv
iouslyalway swonderwher eshe
stay s.Thef actt
hatshe’ smetmyf amilyandknows
wher eIlivewhi l
eIcan’ trelat
et oneitherwei ghsme
down.Iknowi t’
smyf aul
tf orhav i
ngnot hingbutit
sti
lldoesn’ tmakei thurtless.Ishoul dwor k,make
amendswi thmyf ami l
ysoNosi ’
scanknowmeas
wel l
.Idi dn’tknowshehadasi sterunti
lthephone
i
nci dentwhi chmakesmewonderi fshehasany
mor esi bli
ngsIdon’ tknowof .Dot heyknowI ’
m her
man?Butt hequest i
onsbr eednoanswer s.
Unempl oy menthasr obbedmeofsomuchbutI
refusef ori ttorobmeoft heloveofmyl ife.Never!
*
***
Thanky ousomuchfortheengagementonthe
previ
ousinser
t.I
'
dappreci
ateift
hisonefol
l
owsthe
setstandar
ds.
Dol
i
ke,
commentandshar
e.
SEVEN
★★★★
SUKOLUHLE

I’
mi nmyr oom packi ngsomeofmyt hings.Idi d
searchf orav ail
abl eandaf fordabl eroomsar oundso
theoneIf oundcost sR500.I t’
sst eepsi nceI ’
m
unempl oyed, consi der ingI ’l
lalsohav etobuyf ood,
toil
etriesandsomef ur niturebuti t
’slowconsi der i
ng
howmuchot her scost .It
’sint hev i
ll
agewhi chhasa
highcr imer at ebutke, beggar scan’ tbechooser s.
I’
venev erlivedi nav ill
agebef oresot hiski ndof
feelslikemyl ifekeepsgoi ngl owerandl ower .I’
ll
havet oacquai ntmy sel fwi t
hdust y,untar r
edr oads
alongwi thlivi
ngi naconf inedspace.Ther oom i s
smal l
, li
keassmal lasPoppy ’stoi l
et.I’
llhav et ouse
apit,st i
nkyt oilet.Thet houghtal oneisdepr essing
butIr emi ndmy selfthatI ’
m doi ngt hisforl ove.It’s
notlikeI ’m stoopi ngl oworany thing,thesol ut i
on
i
sn’tper manent .Ihav et owor khar d,bet hebest
hawkeri fpossi blebyaddi ngmor est uffmay be
amagwinyal
i
keIoncethoughtandal
sodistr
ibut
e
post
ersofwhatIcandoli
keMphosuggested.
Toni ghtist helastdayoft hemi ssion.If eel likeI ’
ve
beenhol dinginabr eathsomewher eandpr ay i
ngt o
Godandmyancest orsthatwedon’ tgetcaught .
Sure, themor ey oudoi t,theeasi eritwei ghsony our
consci encebutt henIi magi nemy selfget t
ing
arrestedasAshaMuhammed.Thatwoul dbea
disast er,especiallywhent hemakeupf all
sof fand
theydi scov erwhoIr eall
yam.Poppydoeshel pkeep
mer elaxed.Sher emindsmeofwhatIst andt ogai n.
Ithinkofahappi ergirlf
ri
endandani nv estmenti nto
myf uturet henimmedi atelybecomef iredupwi t
h
mot ivationandt heneedt ot hr
iveasaconman.She
alsor emi ndsmet hatit
’saonceof fforme.She
doesn’ twantmeaf fi
l
iati
ngmy selfwitht hedar ker
under wor ld.Shesay sthet hril
lisaddi ctiveandt hat
oncebot hf eetar ein,youcan’ teasi l
ygoout .You’ ll
fi
ndy oursel fi
nt hewr onggr oupsandmi ghtneedt o
fi
ghtf ory ourlife.It’
sonlyt hent hatIgetagl impseof
herpr ev i
ousl i
febutofcour sei t
’smer elyami niature.
Somet imesIdowantt oask.Iwantt oaskaboutt hat
room whi
chr emai nslockedinherhouse.I
rememberIoncet ri
edtoopen, event houghitwas
l
ockedbutshehi tmewi thaspear .Ireal
izedthen
thatherv
irt
uei sn’tj
ustment al
,it
’sphy si
caltoo
becauseIfel
l hardonmyar se.Idon’tprynow; It
ake
whatshegives.
Ther
e’saknockonmydoorsoIl
ett
hem i
n.
Mpho:“Hey.Where’
sPoppy
?I’
vebeenknocki
ngon
herdoort
onoav ail
.”
Me:“Idon’
tknowbutshe’
spr
obabl
ycomi
ngback
soon.
”
Mpho:“
Iwantedt
ojust
…checkony
ouguy
s.Ar
eyou
movi
ngout?
”
Me:“Yesbutonlymet
hough.Ican’
tli
veundermy
bestfr
iend’
sshadowf
orev
er.
”
Mpho:
“Di
dsheasky
out
o?”
Ichuckl
eandshakemyhead.Poppywoul
dnev
er.
Me:
“No,
Idi
d.”
Iwanttotel
lhi
m aboutNosi
andhowmy
rel
ati
onshi
prel
iesonthi
sbutIcan’
t.Idon’
twantt
o
beseenasashi tt
yperson.Whoknowshowt hiswi
ll
l
ookf r
om another
’spercept
ion?Poppyhasalready
voi
cedherdisapproval;
Idon’tneedanymore
opi
nions.Themanl ooksatmei nscrut
iny
,ey
es
havi
ngshrunkintosli
ts.
Mpho:
“So,
youf
inal
l
yfoundaj
ob?
”
Me:“NoMpho,andwhat’
swi
ththequest
ions?
Poppyi
sn’
ther
esoy oucanl
eav
emet hehellal
one!
Nxa!
”
Ididn’tmeant osnapbuthe’ salsobei ngannoy i
ng.
Hisexpensivecol ognehasf i
ll
edmyr oom,
domi nati
ngitandmaki ngev ery
thingel seseem
i
nferior.Iwanthimt ogobecauseI ’
m begi nni
ngto
thi
nkhi spresenceemascul atesme.Ishoul dbe
wher eheis,li
keamanmyagebutl ookatmenow.I t
fuckensucksandi sbrui
singtot heego.Hedoesn’ t
saymor ebutjuststepsoutlookingal itt
leaff
ected,
good.
Butthemi nut
ehecl osesthatdoor,whi
chIexpect
ed
himt obangbyt heway ,If
eelbad.I
t’
snotl
ikemet o
reactli
kethatbutthefrustr
ati
onstemmedf r
om hi
s…
success?NowIsoundl ikeaprick.Themanwor ked
hardtogetwher eheisandIshoul dbetaki
ng
point
ers,notchasi
nghim outl
ikeadog.Ir usht
ot he
doorandout ,he’
sabouttogetintohiscar.
Me:
“Wai
t”
Hest
opsbutdoesn’
ttur
ntome.Iwal
kcl
oser
.
Me:“
I’
m sorr
y.Ishoul
dn’
thavespokent
oyoui
nthat
manner
,I’
m notabadperson.
”
Mpho:
“It
’sf
ine.Tel
lPoppyIwasher
e.”
HegetsintohiscarandIsi
gh.Theengineroarsas
hedriv
esoff,i
t’
saC63.Isighandwal kbackint
omy
room.I’
m nolongerint
hemoodf orpackingsoIhal
t
andlayonmybedonmybacki nstead.
.
POPPY

Istareatmyref
lect
iononthemirr
or,doi
ngdif
ferent
posesasItakepict
ures.Ki
aradi
dmegood, she
reall
yknowswhatshe’sdoi
ng.Tothinkj
eal
ous,lazy
SouthAfri
canswantedtogetherdeport
edbecause
ofhergreat
nessmakesmewantt opuke.Iwouldn’
t
belooki
ngthisfly.It
’st
hef i
naldayofthemi ssi
on.I
hopeOki won’tRobusaf terwegooutt heway .Hi
m
andIdon’ttr
usteachot herwhenitcomest omoney ;
wit
hgoodr easonbecausewebot hloveit.Myphone
ri
ngssomewher einmypur se,
it’
sSuko.
Me:
“Am Il
ate?
”
I
’
vebeenst
ari
ngatmy
sel
ftoohar
d,t
hatIcanadmi
t.
Suko:“
Wherear
eyouvel
e?Youlockedthehouse
andyouknowIdon’
thav
efood.Gi
gi i
shungr
y”
Me:
“He’
sback?
”
Nowmypl
ansar
erui
ned.
Suko:
“Uh,
yes.Hewasdr
oppedbyhi
str
anspor
t.
”
Me:
“I’
m comi
ng”
Ihangupthencal
lRumi.Ipai
dheralotofmoneyfor
hertobr
ingmysonbeforesheshoul
d,howdareshe?
Rumi
:“Idi
dn’
tdoi
t!
”
Me:“
Didn’
tdowhat?Why ’
shebackatmypl
ace?I
t
oldyouI’
l
lfet
chhi
mf i
rstthi
ngi
nthemorni
ng.
”
Rumi:
“Thetranspor
tgott
her
ebef
oremebutI…I’
l
l
gotoyourhouseandfet
chhi
mthere.I
’
m sor
ryA…I
meanPoppy”
Me:“Don’
tyouevermessupli
kethis.YouknowGi
gi
won’
twanttoleavei
fIgett
heref
irst.Buyhi
mfood
whi
leyou’
reatit
.”
Ihangup.She’ smyl itt
lesisterwhom I ’
vehidden
from t hewor l
dwi thgoodr eason.She’sonlyf i
fteen.
Whywear en’tli
v i
ngt ogetherisast oryforanot her
day .May bet hingswi l
l workoutinmyf avorinthe
future, I
’
llunt anglemy selffr
om Oki andchai nsofmy
pastandf i
nal l
ybeabl etomov eon.Fornow, t
hi si
s
what ’sbest .Atl eastGi giknowshi sauntie,I’
venev er
keptt hem awayf rom eachot her
.Iknowshadi ngher
doesn’ thelpbutI ’
v ealreadylostonesi ster
,Ican’ t
l
oseanot her.Idon’ tthinkI’
llsurvi
veit.Myf amilyis
myl i
fe,hear tandev erythi
ng.
NowIwi shIhadacar.Il
ooktoogoodtobe
squashedinataxi
withsweatybei
ngs.Idi
alMpho’
s
numberwithhopesthathe’
scomebackf r
om hi
str
ip.
Mpho:
“Hey
”
Me:
“Hi
.Ineedaf
avori
fyou’
reback”
Ipr
efercut
ti
ngst
rai
ghtt
othechase.I
’
llaskhi
m how
hei
swhenIseehim.
Mpho:
“Iam.Wher
ear
eyou?
”
Me:“I
’
mi nt
ownbutIl
ookt
oodel
ect
abl
eforat
axi
.
Pl
easecomefet
chme.”
Hechuckl
es.
Mpho:
“That
’st
hef
avor
?”
Me:
“Yes,
iti
s.Ar
eyoucomi
ng?
”
Mpho:
“Yeah.Tel
lmewher
eI’
l
lfi
ndy
ou.
”
Me:
“I’
m atKFCnow.
”
Mpho:
“I’
l
lbet
her
eint
en.
”
Hestaystr
uet ohi
swor dandcompliment
smet he
minut
eIgetin.Ionl
ylaugh,t
hankinghi
m butnot
wi
thoutmentioni
ngI’
m wellawareofhowgoodI
l
ook.Helaughs.
Me:
“Whendi
dyoucomebackandhowwashome?
”
Mpho:
“Lastni
ght
.It
’sgoodhey
.Theguyseemsl
i
ke
her
eal
l
ylov
esher
.”
Hecl
ear
shi
sthr
oatt
henst
art
sthecar
.
Me:
“Youdon’
t…l
i
kehome?
”
Hechuckl
es,
whichseemsf
orcedt
henl
ooksatme
wi
thfur
rowedey
ebrows.
Mpho:
“Whatdoy
oumean?Il
ovehome.
”
Idon’
tpress.Iunderst
andwe’ v
eonlyj
ustknown
eachothersoIcan’tpry.Thetr
ustbet
weenusisin
i
tsfoundati
onstagesoIcan’ tr
ushit
.
Mpho:“Iwentt
oy ourhouse,
youknowt
henf
ound
yourf
ri
endpacking.
”
Ir
oll
myey
es.
Me: “I
t’
sthatdamngir
lf
ri
endofhis,
Sukoisso
frust
rati
ngwhenhe’si
nlove.Hebecomesblindto
reali
ty,
ignori
ngsi
gnswhichhi
thi
mi ntheface.I
hatelove.”
Mpho:
“Youandmebot
h.”
Il
augh.
Me:
“You’
remar
ri
edt
oyourcar
eer
,huh?
”
Mpho:“Well
,yes.I
t’
snotgoingtobr
eakmyheartor
wanttochangeme; i
tacceptsmehowIam.Iget
whatIputi
n.”
Me:
“So,
youdon’
tseey
our
sel
fget
ti
ngmar
ri
ed?
”
Hechuckl
esandshakeshi
shead.
Mpho:
“Nope,
nev
er.You?
”
Me:“UnlessI
’
m at
rophywi
fet
oaguyt
went
yyear
s
ol
derthanme.”
Hel
aughscont
agi
ousl
ysoIj
oinhi
m.
Mpho:
“Howol
dwoul
dhehav
etobe,
for
ty?
”
Me:
“Don’
tbesl
eek.I
’
m nott
ell
i
ngy
oumyage.
”
Mpho:
“I’
l
lasky
ourbestf
ri
end.
”
Ichuckl
e.
Me:“Whydoesitmatt
er?Agei
sjustanumberMpho
andevenhedoesn’
tknowbutgoahead.
”
Mpho:
“Ifi
t’
snotabi
gdeal
,whynott
ell
me?
”
Me: “
You’
llknowwheny
ouhav
eto.Hav
eyougot
yourhear
tbroken?
”
Hechuckl
esandshakeshi
shead.
Mpho:“
Nop,thankGod.Noti
ndati
ng,Imean.I’
ve
seenwhatabrokenhear
tcanl
eadtosoIdon’twant
i
t.”
Inod.Ther
e’sanost
algi
clookonhisfacewhich
makeshim moreofamy ster
y.Hehasalotoflayer
s
whichI’
mlooki
ngforwardtounfol
dingi
fhelet’
sme.
Rumi hasf et
chedGigibythet i
mewe’ v earr
ived,
whichI’m grat
efulf
or.Idon’
tknowhowshecame
herefastbutIhopeshemai ntaineddiscr
eti
on.I
knowOki hashi sgoonswat chingallt
heact i
vity
aroundmyhouse.Imi ghthavet aughtherhowt obe
i
nv i
sibl
ebutwhoknowshowhe’ strai
nedthem?
Me:“Thankyouf ortheri
de.SukoandIhavet
ogo
somewheretonightbutwecanhangoutt omorr
ow,
that
’si
fyou’
l
l bef r
ee.”
Mpho:“
Icancomear
oundonSunday
,af
terchur
ch
f
oryou?”
Inodandki
sshi
scheek.
Me:
“Takecar
e.”
Iwav eashedr ivesoff.Lookingatt heti
meonmy
wristwatch,
Irealizewedon’ thav ealotlef
t.Iget
everythi
ngfrom myr oom t hengot oSuko’s.Imake
suretoknockl estIwal kinontowhatwesawaf ew
daysback.Inev erimagi nedNosi tobenast y
,andI
don’tmeant hatinabadway .She’salwaysseemed
l
ikeapr udesof orhert omast urbateonv i
deo
becauseadamnf oolcouldseet hat,i
twasshocking.
Suko:“
You’r
eback.Someguycameher
etotakeGi
gi.
Itr
iedr
efusi
ngbuthethr
eat
enedmeandtheboy
seemedtoknowhim.”
Me:
“It
’sf
ine.So,
you’
rer
eal
l
ymov
ing?
”
Suko:
“Yep.If
oundar
oom i
ndust
yDi
bat
e”
Me:“Thatpl
acei
sinfest
edwithnyaopeboysand
t
sotsi
s.Doyouknowt hedangery
ou’rebr
ingi
ngto
your
self
?Acheeseboyli
keyouwon’tsurv
ivether
e.”
Hel
aughs.
Suko:“
Icantakecareofmyself
,thankyouvery
much.I’
m ol
derthanyouincasey oufor
gotandI’
m
aman.I’v
eneverlostafi
ghtsoIwon’tbescaredby
druggi
esort
sotsis.
”
Me:“Wel
l,
ify
ousayso.Weneedt
ogetr
eady
;we
onl
yhaveanhour
.”
Suko:“
Thenewhairsui
tsyou.Goodt
hingNosi
doesn’
twantt
ocomeher e,I
’
dbeunderpressur
e
nowbecauseofi
t.
”
Il
augh.
Me:
“Goodr
iddancet
hen.
”
.
SUKOLUHLE

I’
m Mr .Khumalonowwi t
ha…wel l,
awi fewith
blondehair.Theringsonourl ef
tfingerslook
expensiveandPoppyal sodoesn’ tstopcooing.The
onlychangei nmei sthebeard.She’spast edan
extendedgoat i
ethatmakesmeseem…ol derbutI
l
ov eit
.May beIshouldgrowi torIwoul dwhenIcan
affor
dt o.Maintai
ningbeardsandgr oomi ngthem i
s
expensive,Icanbarelyaf
fordacol ogne.
Poppy
:“Tr
yadeeperv
oice”
Me:
“Don’
twor
ry,
Igoty
ouwi
fey
”
Shelaughs.We’r
einmat chingtuxedos.Hersiswit
h
ashortminiski
rtandherheelsar ethehighestI
’
ve
seen,nott
hattheyaccentuateherheightinanyway.
Shestil
ll
ooksshorttome.
Themi
nut
ewest
epout
,shescr
eams.
Poppy
:“I
t’
sanRR”
Me:“
Yeah,yeah.We’
reapparent
lyar
ichcoupleso
weshoulddri
veli
kei
t.WheredoesOkigetthe
moneythough?”
Poppy
:“He’
spr
obabl
ybor
rowedi
tfort
heni
ght
.”
Me:
“So,
hehi
rest
hecar
s?”
Shechuckl
esandshakesherhead.
Poppy:“
Moreliket
akest
hem,r
emov est
hetracker
thenput
sitbackagai
nwhenheret
urnsthem.”
Me:“So,
hesteal
sthem?Whydi
dyousayhe
bor
rowsthem?”
I’
vehalt
edmyt r
ack,l
ookingatheri
ndi
sbel
i
ef.How’s
shetaki
ngitt
hisli
ght
ly?Itmakesmewonderjust
howdirtyOki
’
shandsar e.
Poppy:
“Becauseheretur
nsthem.Don’
tov
ert
hink
thi
s.We’
regoingfort
hekill
toni
ght
.”
We’v ear
rivedatt heconf erencer oom.Ev ery one
seemst obei nbl ackandwhi tetoo,acl assict heme
thatmatcheswi tht hesi mpley etsophisticated
décorinthehal l.I’vegot t
enaccust omedt ot hisrole
somucht hatIal mostf eelli
keI ’
m…r eallyher e.Wit h
thebeardandmat urelook, Ihavegoingon, itfeels
l
ikeI ’
vearri
vedt her e.Iseemy selfhereinf i
v ey ears,
dini
ngwi thther ichandf amous.I ’l
lgether e,IknowI
willandthen, i
twon’ tbeindi sguise.I
twon’ tbea
façadebutj ustme, Sukol uhleMncwabe.
“
Got
tal
ovet
heseev
ent
shuh”
Itur
ntoawomanIhadn’ tnot
icei
snexttome.She’
s
aspeti
teasPoppybutl
ighter
.Therockonherr
ing
fi
ngeri
sbli
ndi
ng,toobi
gt obemissed.
Me:
“Yout
onesay
sot
her
wise.
”
Her:
“Yeahwel
l
,it
’sbor
ing.Howdoy
ouguy
ssur
viv
e
t
his?”
Me:
“Weguy
s?”
Her:
“Cor
poratepeopl
ewi
thy
oursl
i
mti
esand
cr
easedpants.
”
Il
augh,gi
vi
ngheralookover
.She’
sinablack
bodyconf
ormaldr
esswithmatchi
ngbl
azer.
Me:
“You’
reonet
otal
k.Vusi
Khumal
o”
Igi
vehermyhand.
Her
:“Lor
raineMoloiwho’sint
oanyt
hingt
hatdoesn’
t
i
ncl
udetalkingbusi
ness.I
’m mor
eintopl
easur
e”
Me:
“Ohi
sit
?Whatki
nd?
”
Shelooksatmef
rom myf
eetal
lupunt
ilmyf
ace
thensmir
ks.
Lorrai
ne:
“Thecar
amel,handsomewit
hawell
groomedbeardki
nd.Ihaveasuit
ehere,
howabout
youscrat
chmyback?”
Ichuckl
e.Nott
hisagai
n.
Me:“I
’m amar
ri
edman.Mywi
fei
ssomewher
e
her
e.”
Lorr
aine:
“LookaroundVusi
,nooneisdoi
ng
busi
nesstonight
.Yourwi
feisthatmi
dgetwi
th
bl
ondehai
r,r
ight
?Iswearshel
eftwi
thDrDani
els
aboutami
nuteago.
”
Me:
“Andt
hatr
ockony
ourf
inger
?”
Lor
rai
ne:
“Cockbl
ocker
.Don’
tmakemebegVusi
”
DamnPoppy .IknowIal sohav etotakethi
sofferto
accomplishmymi ssi
on, Idon’thav
eachoice.I
str
ategi
zeinmyheadonourwayt ohersui
te.Ionl
y
needeightminut
esandIpr ayIwon’thavetowell…
makeoutwi t
hheruntilshebl acksout.
*
***
*
I'
m ali
tt
ledrowsy.Iedi
tedbuti
fther
e'sany
thi
ngi
missed,doexcusetheerr
or.Pl
easecommentand
share
EI
GHT
★★★★
POPPY

Me:“Ir
eal
lyhav
etogo.Thanksf
orthedr
inkuhm but
I…can’
tst
ay.Myhusbandmustbewonderi
ngwhere
Iam.”
We’ resupposedt oscam oneperni ghtbutI ’m
alr
eadyonmyt hird.I’
mt heonewhocamewi ththe
sil
iconegel andmybabyhascomev eryhandy
tonight .Idi
dn’ tthinkit’
dwor kbutboy ,i
tdi d.Howt he
hellcansomanypeopl eusethesamephonemodel ?
Sure, theylov eiPhonebutusual l
ymoni edpeopl e
upgr adewhenev eranewmodel comesout .Idon’t
caret houghbecausei tworksinourf avor.Thi sone
oozesadar kaur athatrunsshiversdownmyspi ne.
From hi sdar k,col deyest ohisstoicf ace.He’ s
handsome, whi chi saweaknesst omewhent he
manhasaheav ywal l
etbutthecol dnessi nhi sey es
i
swhatdr awsmei n.Hiscologneisi ntoxi
cat ing,a
fusionofmaskandCubanci gar.Ithinkhecansee
ri
ghtthroughmebutIalsodon’tgi
veadamn.He
doesn’tl
ooktobeont hel
egalsideany
waysohe’
s
notinaspacetojudge.
Kgosi
:“Theni
ghti
sst
il
lyoungCl
eo,
per
hapsar
efi
l
l?”
Me:
“I’
m notmuchofadr
inker
”
We’r
eint
hehot
el’
sbar.Ther
earen’talotofpeopl
e
her
eandwe’
resi
tt
ingatasecludedtable.
Kgosi
:“Let
’sgotomyroom then.Si
ncey
ougotwhat
youwanted,i
t’
sonl
yfai
rIgetwhatIwant.
”
Ist
arebackathim,
successful
lyhidingmyconf
usi
on.
Whatthehel
lishet
alki
ngabout ?Itcan’
tbet
hathe
sawme, I
’mtoodamnsmar tforthat.
Me:
“Ihav
enoi
deawhaty
ou’
ret
alki
ngabout
.”
Hescof
fsbuti
tlast
sasf
astasi
tbegi
ns.
Kgosi:“OhpleaseCl eo.Youreall
ythi
nkIdidn’
tsee
youmessi ngwi t
hmyphone?Iknowy ou’
reahacker,
probablylooki
ngt ogetsomeofmymoney .You
real
lythinkI’
ll
letyougot hateasil
y?You’
reexactl
y
myt ypesohowabouty oufi
nishupthatdri
nkand
wel eavesoIcanf inishwhatyoustart
ed?”
That’
snotaquest i
on, i
t’
sadamnor der.Idon’tpani
c.
Isawthecol dmet altuckedinhispocket ,
his
i
mpassi venessi sn’tt
obemessedwi t
hbutt hi
sis
j
ustasmal lpricetopay .I
t’
seitherhim orOki and
thel
atterisn’tonewho’ sbadsi deI’
dliketobeon.
Themanr eallydoesn’tplaywithhismoney .Ican
pret
endIdon’ tknowwhatt hi
smani st al
kingabout
anddismi sshi m butatwhatcost ?
Me:
“You’
remi
stakenDoc.I
’
m notwhoy
ousayI
am.
”
Kgosi
:“Howoldareyou?Sixt
een,seventeen?Now
i
maginehowol dIam.I’
m marri
ed,thr
eeki dsand
borni
ntotheunderwor
ld.DoyouthinkI’
m someone
youcanmesswi t
h?”
Igul
p.He’
sgotme.
Me:
“No.
”
Kgosi
:“Ar
ey ouatl
easteight
een?I
’
m notaboutt
o
cat
chastatutor
yrapecase.”
Inod.
Kgosi
:“Good.I
fit
’sgood,
I’
ll
giv
eyouaf
if
tykbonus.
I
’llmakesur emyaccounthasatleasttenthousand
forwhoev erhi
redyouandyourpartner
.I’
m nota
nicepersonsoconsidert
hatararebenev ol
ent
gestur
ef r
om Terror
.”
Inod.IdohopeIdon’tdi
e.I
’
mtooyoungandal
lGi
gi
andRumi has,
it’
stoodamnsoon.
Hetakesmyhandaf t
erheget supsoIal sogeton
myf eetandal lowhi
mt oleadmet owher everhe’
s
taki
ngme.I ’
m supposedtobescar ed;thisismylif
e
that
’sont helinebutIcan’tf
indthatfear.Inst
ead,I
fi
ndpumpi ngofadrenali
neashiscust om cologne
conti
nuest easingmynost ri
l
s.
Idon’
tseemuchofourwayt
her
e,mymi
ndi
sat
whatawait
smeinthatr
oom.
Helocksthedooraf t
erwegetinwhi leI’
m standi
ng
nexttoitl
i
keal itt
levi
rgi
n.Thi
sisn’tabouttohappen,
ri
ght?I’
m basicall
yabouttohavesexwi t
hagood
l
ookingmanwi thameanf acebecausehe’sont o
me?Yeah, soundsgood.
Kgosi
:“Thatl
i
ttl
efacei
sn’
tgoi
ngt
owor
konme.
”
Igl
ancear
oundt
her
oom.Ther
e’sabedi
ncent
er,
a
bedsi
detablenextt
oitt
henther
e’satabl
ewithtwo
chai
rsthat
’snotsofarf
rom t
hedoor.Hegoestothe
tabl
eandpourswhiskyi
ntwoglasses.Hegi
vesone
tome.
Kgosi
:“What
’sy
ourr
eal
name?
”
Hedeci dest oputthatdamngunont het able.Idon’
t
knowmuchaboutgunsbutf r
om itssize,I’
m
assumi ngit’
sashor tgun?Shortisinreferencet o
thesize?I’
v eneverbeeninter
ested.Het akesof fhis
blazer,shi
rtandwi f
ebeaterreveali
ngat attooed
torsoandanot hergun.Thisonelooksl i
keanAK47
j
udgi ngbyt helength.Howdidhegeti nthishot el
whi l
eheavilyarmed?
Kgosi
:“Iwon’
tshootyousorelax.Youj
ustremind
meofmywi feandI’
dneverdream ofki
ll
ingthelov
e
ofmyli
fe.Comesitonmylap.”
He’sonthechai
randwat
chingme.Ifoll
owli
kea
meekl amb,
sit
ti
ngonhi
slap.Thi
smansmel l
sgood.
Hisbighandgoesont
omyt hi
gh,squeezi
ngit
sul
tri
l
y .
Kgosi
:“St
il
lwai
ti
ngf
ory
ournameCl
eo.
”
Me:
“Poppy
”
Itcomesoffr
ushed,breat
hlesslybuti
t’
sjust
if
ied.I
canbarel
yconcent
ratewiththewayhe’shandkeeps
squeezi
ngandbrushingmyt high.
Kgosi
:“Mm,
Poppy
.”
Heputshisglassont hetabl
ethengoesontocup
myboobwi t
ht hathand,orwhateverist
her
e.He
f
iddl
esmyni pple,pl
ayingwit
hther i
ngli
keheknows
i
t’
sthere.Hi
st ouchisigni
ti
ngandawakensevery
f
iberofmybody .
.
SUKOLUHLE

Lor
rai
ne:
“Yout
ryi
ngt
ogetmedr
unkandr
eckl
ess?
”
Me:
“Oh,
you’
ret
heonewhoj
ustaskedf
orar
efi
l
l.
”
Shel
aughs.
Lorr
aine:
“I’
vehadenough.I
’
llqui
ckl
ygot
othetoi
l
et
thenwe’l
lspi
cethi
ngsupwhenIcomeback.”
Me:
“Ohbuty
ouwer
ejustt
her
efi
vemi
nut
esago.
”
Shechuckl
es.
Lor
rai
ne:
“It
’st
hewi
ne.
”
I
’vecompletedthemissionwhenshewentt othe
toi
letf
orthefi
rstti
me.Ihonestl
ydon’tknowwhyI ’
m
herebecauseI’
m done.I’
vebeentr
yingtocall
Poppy
butherphoneringstovoicemai
l
.Ihopeshe’sOK.
Me:
“Ihav
etogo.
”
Shefr
owns.She’
sjustcomebackf
rom t
het
oil
etand
fi
ndsmeonmyf eet.
Lor
rai
ne:
“ButIt
hought
…di
dIdosomet
hing?
”
Me:
“Mywi
fej
ustcal
l
ed,
I’
m sor
ry.
”
Lorr
aine:
“Oh.Atl
eastt
akemynumberthen.Wecan
hookupwhenIcomebackher
enextti
me.”
I
’mrel
iev
edwhenIf i
nal
lyexitt
hehotel
’
spremi
ses.
Sur
e,Idi
dn’
tcheatonNosi si
nceLor
rai
neandI
di
dn’
tevenki
ssbutIfeelbad.
Lorr
aineisgoodcompany,f
unnyandsomeonewho
seemst oenj
oyli
feandwhateveri
thi
tsherwi
th.
Eventhoughshewasallt
alkwhenitcameto
i
nsti
gatingsomethi
ngbutIdi
denjoymychatwit
h
her
.
Itr
yPoppyagai nwhenIgetinthecarbutthi
sti
me,i
t
goesstr
aighttovoi
cemail.Thedri
verendsup
l
eavingwithouther
.She’
sabi ggi
rlandIknowshe
cantakecareofhersel
fbutIcan’
thelpbutworr
y.
.
POPPY

I’
m wokenupbyt heshowerr unni ng.Themi nutemy
ey el
idsopen, everyotherpartofmet hat’
sinpain
remi ndsmeofl astnightorrat herthismor ni
ng.I
thinkIbl ackedout ,
notsurebecauset hemandi d
thingst omypoorbody .Idon’ tthinkthere’
sanyhol e
i
nmybodyt hat’
snotst r
ained.Idon’ tknowwhat
frustrati
onst hatmanwasr eleasingandev enthough
Ienjoy edit,Isureashellwoul dn’twantar epeat
any t
imesoon.Howdoeshi swi f
esur vi
vethat?Yoh.
Hecomesoutwi t
hatowelhanginglowlyonhis
wai
standgli
steni
ngwit
hwaterdr oplet
s.Hisaura
al
oneisar
ousingbutt
hisi
sn’tt
het ime.Ifeel
par
aly
zedonmyl owerhal
fbutIhav etogo.I’
ll
probabl
ybeduckwalkingbutIhaveGigiwhom I
’
ve
misseddear
lyandSukowho’ sprobabl
yworri
ed
aboutmywhereabouts.
Kgosi
:“I
’
vepr
eparedy
ouabat
h.Br
eakf
astwi
l
lal
so
beher
eshort
ly.
”
Me:
“I’
drat
herj
ustl
eav
e.”
Kgosi:“
Youneedtobath,
especi
all
yafterl
astnight.
I
’vesentsomeonetogetyousomeclothes.ShouldI
bathyou?Iwoul
dn’
tmindbutonlyify
ougi vemeone
nj
e.Justone.
”
Me:
“I’
m notapr
ost
it
ute!
”
Hechuckl
es.
Kgosi
:“Don’
tbeaprude.Whosaidany
thi
ngabout
youbei
ngone?Idon’tbuypussy
.”
Me:
“Yety
oupr
eachedofpay
ingmel
astni
ght
.”
Kgosi
:“I
t’
scal
l
edgi
vi
ngcr
edi
twher
eit
’sdue.
”
Heopenst heblanketsthenpicksmeupbri
dalst
yle.
TheonlyreasonIr el
enttohim bat
hingmei
s
becauseIcanbar elymoveal i
mb.Ifeel
muchbett
er
whenhe’sdone.Ourbr eakfastcomessoweeat
oversi
lence.I’
mt r
yingnott othinkaboutlastnight
andallthatoccurr
ed.DidIr eal
lydot hat?IfIaccept
themoney ,I
’l
lbebreakingoneoft hepromi sesI
madet oZuribeforeshedi ed.I
’l
l bedisappoint
ing
heryetIneedit.I
’m confl
icted.
Kgosi
:“Youshoul
dbecar
eful
nextt
ime.
”
Me:
“Huh?
”
Hel
ooksatme.
Kgosi:“Thewor l
disfullofheartlessmenlikemy sel
f
whowon’ tbataney eli
dwheni tcomest okil
l
ing
prett
ygirl
slikeyoursel
f.You’reachancerbutknowi t
won’talwayswor koutiny ourfav or.Mywi
feisthe
onlyreasonIdidn’tki
lly
ouwheny ouhadmyphone,
youwon’ tbeluckynexttime.”
Ifi
ndmysel
fnodding.He’sri
ghtbutIknowI’m going
todothi
sagai
n.I
t ’
stheonlyli
feIknow,all
I’
llhaveto
doisbemorecareful
.There’
sanotherknockont he
doorwhi
chheattends,comingbackwithashoppi ng
bag.
Kgosi
:“I
sthi
sfi
ne?
”
Me:
“Asl
ongasi
t’
smysi
ze”
Hewatchesmechangeint
othefl
oral
jumpsui
tthat
’s
f
ort
unatel
yboot
legsoIcangetsomeairi
n.
Kgosi
:“There’
sadriverwai
ti
ngf
ory
ouout
side.Gi
ve
meakisst henyou’
refreet
ogo.
”
Me:
“Ar
eyouni
cet
omebecauseofy
ourwi
fe?
”
Kgosi
:“Yes.
”
I
t’sal
lunbeli
evablef
orme.Weki ssbr
ief
lyt
henI ’
m
rel
eased.There’
sacarformel ikehesai
dandt he
dri
verdoesn’
taskmeany t
hing.Hedropsmerightat
myhousebutnotwi thoutgivi
ngmeaduf fl
ebag.
Me:
“What
’st
hisf
or?
”
Dr
iver
:“I
’
mjustf
oll
owi
ngor
der
s.Hav
eagoodday
ma’
am”
Hedr i
vesoffafter.HowdoesKgosi knowwhereI
stay?Thataloneirksme.Coul dhebeincahoots
withOki?Didthel at
teror
chestrat
eeveryt
hingt
hat
happenedlastnight?Wast hereadealbetween
them wit
hmeassomesor tofcompensati
on?The
questi
onsrant hroughmymi ndbutIr
efusetol
et
them botherme.I
’mtry
ingnott oli
mpbutthewalk
ofshamei sn’
toneIcanconceal.Thebathonl
y
minimizedthepai
noratl eastat
temptedt
o.IknowI
havemar ksonmyneck, chestandthi
ghswhichare
goingtotakesometimet oheal.Nott
oment i
onthe
l
adydownsout hisonfir
e.I ’
m notgoi
ngtomention
theotherpartt
her
e.
Gi
gir
unst
omesoIl
etgooft
hebagandpi
ckhi
m up.
Gi
gi:
“Mi
ssedy
ou.
”
Me:“Imissedy
out
oobaby
.Di
dyouhav
efunwi
th
auntRumi?”
Gi
gi:
“Yesbutmi
ssedy
ou.
”
Me:
“I’
m her
enow,
OK?Wher
e’sSuko?
”
Gi
gi:
“Cooki
ng.
”
Wegoi nside.He’sholdi
ngmypur sewhileI’
m
hol
dingtheduf fl
ebag.Lastnight’
sendeavorledto
myoutfitbeingtornandthedamnmanr efusedwith
myunder wear.It’
sweirdbecausehe’
smar ri
edso
how’shekeepi nganotherwoman’sunderwear ?I
t’
s
noneofmybusi nessthough,Ij
ustwanttoforget
.
.
SUKOLUHLE

Me:
“Doy
ouknowhowwor
ri
edIwas?
”
She’
ssqui
rmingandt
ryi
ngt
ofr
eeherear
.Yeah,
ser
vesherr
ight
.
Poppy
:“Poi
ntmadebutpl
easel
etgo.
”
Me:
“Don’
tev
erdot
hat
,youhearme?
”
Poppy
:“Yesdaddy
”
Il
etgo.Imustadmi
tthatf
eltgood.
Poppy
:“You’
renof
un.
”
Me:“Say
syouwi
thy
ourduckwal
k.What
’si
nthe
bag?
”
Sheshr
ugs.
Poppy
:“Moneymay
be?Idon’
tknow.
”
Me:
“Soi
tmi
ghtbeabomb?
”
Shel
aughs.
Poppy:“
Don’tbecrazy.I
’
m goi
ngt
otakeanap,
har
dlydi
dlastnight.
”
Ilaughassheduckwal kstoherbedr oom wi thGi gi
onhert ail.Hereal
lymissedhismom, thoset woar e
reall
yclose.I’vemadeenoughf orourguest ssince
Nosi andMphoar ejoi
ningus.Itwassupposedt obe
Poppy ’sturntocookbutsinceshedi dn’tsleepher e,
Idecidedt o.I’
m gl
adshe’sfi
net hough, evenOki was
goingcr azy.Iwonderhowshe’sgoi ngtoexpl ain
everythingtothatscar
yman.He’ sunfortunately
someoneIcan’ tpr
otectherfr
om soshe’ l
lhav etolie
ont hebedshemade.
Mphoisthefir
stonetoar
riv
eindeni
m short
sanda
t-
shi
rt
.Ihaven’
tseenhimthi
scasual
.It
’snotl
ikeI
’
ve
seenalotofhi
m butyouknowwhatImean.
Mpho:
“She’
sher
e,r
ight
?”
Me:
“Hel
l
otoy
out
oo.
”
Mpho:“Youknownot
hingaboutbei
ngpol
i
tesowhy
shoul
dIbother
?”
Me:“Becausey
ou’
renotme.Bei
ngr
udedoesn’
tsui
t
you.
”
Mpho:
“Itdoesn’
tsui
tyouei
ther
.”
Me:
“Si
tdown,
rudeasswi
thhai
ryl
egs.
”
Mpho:
“Yuckf
ou”
Ichuckle.Nosi arr
ivesaboutt enmi nutesaf t
erhim
alsowear i
ngshor ts.Hersaret ooshor tandshe’s
mat chedthem wi t
hanov er
sizedt-shirttuckedinat
thef r
ont.She’sreall
ychanged.I ’
m notcompl ai
ning
butshe’snev erli
kedr ev
eali
ngcl othing,always
voicedoutherdi sapprovalatPoppy ’sskimpy
clothi
ng.
Nosi
:“Hey
”
Me:“Babe,
Idon’tbel
i
evey
ou’
vemetMpho.He’
s
Poppy’
sfri
end.
”
Mpho:
“We’
vemet
”
Il
ookatNosi
who’seyesdon’
tev
enmeetmi
ne.
What’
sheonabout?
Me:
“Babe?
”
Shechuckl
esner
vousl
y.
Nosi
:“Iuhm…cameher
eandhewaswi
th…uhm
Poppy
.”
Me:
“Whenwast
his?
”
Nosi:“
Fewdaysback.LookI…Ineedt
orush.I
’v
e
j
ustrememberedthatt
here’
suhm…somethingfor
work.Ihav
etogo.
”
Shedoesn’twaitformetorepl
ybuti
nst
eaddashes
out
.Sheagr eedtothissowhat
’st
hatal
labout
?I
l
ooktothisguyf oranswer
s.
Me:“Didsomet
hinghappenbet
weeny
ouandmy
gi
rl
fr
iend?”
Mpho:
“She’
snotexact
lymyt
ype.
”
Igr
oan.Li
keshe’
dev
erbe.
Me:“I
’
m nott
alki
ngaboutthat
.Wherethehel
ldi
d
y’
al
lmeetandwhy’sshefi
dgetyar
oundyou?”
Mpho:
“Idon’
tknow.May
bekel
etswal
o”
Me:
“Whatexact
lyi
sthat
?”
Hechuckl
es.
Mpho:“
Ohnot
hing.That
’swhatImeantwhenIsai
d
dat
ingi
swhat
’sholdi
ngyouback.
”
Me: “
Oh,becauseyoufuckenknowmesomuch,
huh?
I
’m notgoi
ngt oaskagai
n.”
Hej
ustst
aresatmel
ooki
ngbor
ed.
Me:
“I’
mtal
ki
ngt
oyoudammi
t!
”
Idon’
tknowhow.Theact i
onwasimpul si
ve.WhenI
snapoutofit
,we’
reface-
to-f
aceandhe’s
whimperi
ng.Il
ookatmyhandt henletgowhent he
shocksubsi
des.Whatthehelli
swrongwi t
hme?
Hecoughs,ey
estear
yandIfeelshi
tt
iert
hanever.I
t
ryt
ouchinghimtoseeifhe’
sOKbuthepushesme
t
hengoestositdown.Iseei
tbutactobl
ivi
ous.
Me:
“I’
m sor
ry!
”
Herepl
ieswi
thadeat
hst arewhi
chIdeser
ve.Il
ove
Nosit
oomuch.Ican’
treall
ycontr
olmysel
fwhenit
comestoher,
seei
ngthemar ksonhi
sneckmakes
mefeelsogui
lt
y.
Me:
“I’
mreal
l
ysor
ry.
”
Lunchistense.It
’smainlyPoppyandGigital
ki
ng
andthat’
sit.I
’v
enev erheardtheboytal
ksomuch.
Heseemst obet heonlyoneobl i
vi
oustothe
at
mospher
ethi
cki
ntensi
on.Icl
earupt
het
abl
eaf
ter
.
Poppy
:“What
’supwi
thy
out
wo?
”
Mpho:“
Hechokedmebecauseapparentl
yIhav
e
somet
hinggoi
ngonwi
thhisgi
rl
fr
iend.”
Poppyl
ooksatme.
Me: “
I’
m notinthemoodtoexplai
nmysel
f.I
fyou’
ll
excuseme, I
’
llbeinmyroom packi
ngt
herestofmy
stuf
f.I
’m out
.”
Idon’tawaitarepl
y;Il
eav
eimmedi at
ely
.I’
m
suddenlyfr
ustrat
ed,madeven.Nosiwouldn’
thav
e
l
eftifitwasjustus.
IdohopeOki comesthroughformebecauseIwant
tomakeamendswi thNosi.Ij
ustwantour
rel
ati
onshipt
ogobackt ohowi tusedtobe.Iwanti
t
tobeus,lovi
ngeachotherandenjoyi
ngeachother’
s
company.Thathasn’
tbeenhappeningasmuchasi t
usedtoandImi sst
hoset i
mes.
★★★★
Deli
vered.Ar
eyouguy
sstil
lshar
ingt
hepage?I
'
d
appreciat
e20comments.
Fort
heweekendbonus:
50shar
es.
I
t'
sal
lupt
oyou.
NI
NE
★★★★
POPPY
I’
m beginni
ngt othinkSukohassomet hingagainst
Mpho.He’ ssuchani ceguysoi tbothersmet hat
theyseeminglydon’ tgetalong.I t
’sobviouslyall
Suko’sfaul
tbecausehebecomessomet hingelse
whereNosi isinvol
v ed.I’m begi
nni ngtot hi
nkthat
witchfedhim somet hi
ng.I’m notonet oaccuse
peopleofblackmagi cbutwhatel sewoul dexplai
n
thi
s?Thechangei nat t
itudeisconcer ning.Iknow
she’scheati
ng; pr
obabl ywithsomeguywi t
hacar
andadapperj obbutwhy ’
sshest i
llwi
thSuko?I ’m
try
ingtoconjurepossi blereasonswhi chi sdisr
upted
byMpho’ svoice.
Mpho:“Youknowhe’
sagr
ownman,
right
?Don’
t
st
ressabouthi
m.”
Me: “
Ican’
thelpitPoster
.He’smyf ri
end,
Iworry
abouthim.He’
st ookindandhisheartist
oobig
whichalwaysbit
eshimi ntheend.He’smovingout,
l
etti
ngherwinbutev enablindpersoncanseeit
’l
l
endi
ntear
s.Shedoesn’
tlov
ehi
m.”
Mpho: “Hedoesn’
tseeit.It’
sonl
yamat t
eroft i
me
beforeheseesherforwhatshei s.Wenajustbe
thereforhi
m whenthetimecomes.You’ v
et r
ied
tal
kingbuthedoesn’tl
i
st en.”
Inodwi
thasi
gh.
Me:“You’
reri
ght.Idon’tknowwherehi
sinsecur
it
ies
comefrom.He’sahandsomeman, smartwit
ha
goodheart
.Itsucksthathedoesn’
tseehiswort
h.”
Mpho:“
Somepeoplewantt
olear
nthehar
dway
.You
di
dyourpar
t,t
her
estisupt
ohim.”
Inodagai
n.I
’l
ll
ethim beandhopei
twon’
tbet
oo
l
atewhenhiseyesareopened.
*
***
Ididn’treal
lythinkSukoisser i
ousaboutmov i
ngout
untilIsawhi m andhisgirl
fri
endheretopickuphis
stuff
.She’ dapparentl
yhiredav antohelpwiththe
mov ing.Ipersonall
ythinkit’
sfunnybecauseshe
compl ainedaboutnothav inganymoneysi nceshe’s
extendingatherhome, sowhat ’
sthi
sallabout?I
obv i
ouslytookmynoseoutofi t.May bet heguyi s
hercousi norsomet hi
ng.Ther oom hasbeenl ocked
sincethen.It’
saweekaf t
ertheincidenceandendof
themont h.We’r
emeet ingwithOki wit
hr egardsto
ourshar es.Isti
ll
haven’topenedtheduf flebag
Kgosi ’
sdr i
vergaveme.I ’
m alit
tl
ener vousabouti t,
don’tknowwhybecausei tmightjustbemoney .I
putitundermybedandmemor i
esoft hatnighteven
deeperi ntomysubconsci ous.Okisentadr iverfor
me, whichwasn’ tnecessarybecauseIknowwher e
hest ays.
It
’sFridaymor ningsoGi gi i
satday car
e.Idon’ tknow
whyhesentt hecarsoear ly,neit
herdoesSuko.He’ s
sit
ti
ngnextt ome.Hewoul dn’tknowi fIdon’t
anyway .Wehadt opackupourst allsforthisexact
reason.Anyway ,I
’
m st i
llnottalki
ngt ohi m because
ofwhathappenedl astweekandi t’
skilli
ngmebut
i
t’sforthebest .Howcoul dhej ustmov eoutlikethat
?
Ofcour seI’
m mad.Whendi dhest artbeingv i
olent?
He’snev erf
oughtov erawomanbef or
esowhat ’
sso
specialaboutNosi ?Butt hequest ionsr emain
unanswer edunt i
lfurthernotice.
Oki
:“Mypeopl
e!”
Heseemsexci t
ed,pearl
ywhitesall
outalongwith
hi
sgums.Oki neversmilest
hiswideunlesshe’
s
gottenmoney.Thi
smeansev erythi
ngwentwell.He
evengoesont ohugus.Theact i
ondoesn’tonl
y
surpri
seme,Sukoisjustasshocked.
Oki:“
Man,youdeserv
eadi meandmor e.Iwas
skepti
cal
aboutyourfr
iendPoppybuthecame
thr
oughforme.Becauseofyourmagnifi
cent
perf
ormance,I
’
veaddedabonus.Poppy ,yourl
ounge
suit
ehasbeenpaidoffsoyougetnothi
ng.”
Mysmi
l
eimmedi
atel
ydi
sappear
s.
Me:
“Excuseme?
”
Helooksatme.He’
snowst
andi
ngi
nfr
ontofus,
sti
l
l
gr
inni
ng.
Oki:“
Iknowhowi
rresponsi
bley
oucanbesoIused
yourshar
etober
esponsibl
eony ourbehal
f.
”
Me:“
That’sunf
air
!There’
snowaymyshar
ewasf
if
ty
t
housand.It
’si
mpossibl
e!”
Oki
:“Ofcour
sei
twasn’
t.Ipai
dof
ftheei
ght
y
thousandyouowedsoy oushouldthankme.I
t’
ll
teachyoutochooseyourdebt
swi sel
yinthef
utur
e.I
didyouafavorsoyoushouldthankme.”
Icl
i
ckmyt
ongue.
Me:
“Fucky
ou.
”
Iwalkoutofhi
shouse.Ican’tbel
ievethi
s!Iworked
damnhardinthathotel
,gotcaughtandhad…I ’m not
abouttoremi
niscenow.Mypoi ntis,
Idon’tdeser
v e
toberobbedli
kethi
s.
.
SUKOLUHLE

Ican’tbel
ievePoppyl eftmeal onewiththi
sguy.
She’stheonewhocanhandl ehim, notme.I’
mleft
withnochoi cebuttoactunaf fect
edbyhi s
dangerousaur a.Idon’tthi
nkhet r
iestobescary,
he’
sj ustl
ikethat.Idon’tcarehowemascul at
ingI
soundr i
ghtnowbutIam scar edofhi m.
Oki
:“She’
l
lgetoveri
t.Her
e’syourshareMr
Mncwabe.ItwasgoodworkingwithyouandIdo
l
ookforwardt
osuchsmoot
hsai
l
ingi
nthef
utur
e.
Happyspendi
ng.
”
Hegivesmeat hick,A4brownenv el
ope.Ifeelli
ke
I’
mint hosemaf i
amov i
es.Idomaskmyexci t
ement
i
nnonchal ance,bidhimfarewellthengetoutofhi s
suff
ocatingstudyroom.Icanf i
nall
ybreathewhen
I’
m outside.I
t’
sgoodt hatIbroughtaschool bagj ust
i
ncase.If indPoppyjustoutsidethegate,sitt
ingon
theground.Sheseemsdepr essed.
Me:
“Let
’sgo.
”
Poppy
:“Don’
ttal
ktome!
”
Me:
“Youcansi
ther
efor
ever
.”
Poppy :“
HowwillIt
hrowupZuri
’spart
y?Oki
isso
unfair
.Who’shetodict
atehowIusemymoney ?I
fuckenearnedi
t.He’
ssuchabully
.”
Me:
“Icanhelpwit
hthepart
y.You’
vedoneal
otf
or
mesoIwouldn’
tmind,come.
”
Shelooksatme.I
’m nowsi
tt
ingnextt
oherandshe
prev
iousl
yhadherheadonmyshoulder.
Poppy
:“Ar
eyououtofy
ourmi
nd?
!”
Ismi
l
e.
Me: “
It
’sheavy.I
fheusedeight
ythousandt
opayoff
yourdebtthenIcanmorethanaff
ordtohel
pout.
”
Poppy :
“I’
m notall
owingyoutodothatSuko,over
mydeaddamnbody .YouandIaregoingto
Switzer
landsoy oucanopenanof f
shorebank
accountandinvestthatmoneyther
e.Thatway,you
won’thavetoansweral otofquest
ions.
”
Me:
“I’
l
lfi
nal
l
ygett
oseey
ourhomecount
ry,
huh?
”
Sher
oll
sherey
es.
Poppy
: “
Iguess.Besi
des,Ihadconti
ngencypl
ansi
n
pl
aceincasethishappens.Ishoul
dhaveknown.
”
Me:
“Whatdoy
oumeanbycont
ingencypl
ans?
”
Shel
ooksatmesmugl
y.
Poppy:“
Let
’sgetoutofhere.I
fthatdar
kmanthi
nks
hehastheupperhand,hehasanotherthi
ng
coming.
”
Igetupfi
rstthenhelpherup.Wewal ktotownover
l
ightchat
ter.I
’mlet
tingherventbutonceit’
sdone,
wetalkabouthersister
’spar
tyandpossibl
eway sof
host
ing.
Poppy:“Idon’twantyout ospendsomuchofy our
moneysi ncey ou’
resavingitforagoodcause.Take
ali
ttl
e,spendi tonyourselfandNosibuttherest
shoul
dbef oryourvi
sion.”
Me:
“ButZur
i’
spar
tyi
simpor
tantt
oo.
”
Poppy
:“Ihav
eitundercont
rol
.”
Me:“I
’m goi
ngt
ohel
pPoppyandi
t’
snotupf
or
di
scussi
on!”
Poppy:“
Ihavetwopeoplewhom Iwasabl etoscam
whoOki doesn’
tknowabout.I
’l
lusethatandyou
seem t
ohav efor
gott
enthatduff
lebag.”
Me:“Theduffl
ebagyoudon’twantt
oopen?Ri
ght.I
won’
tbet ol
dbyy ouwhatt
odowi t
hmymoney .I
’m
hel
pingandthere’
snot
hingyoucandoabouti
t.
”
ShegroansbutIdon’
tgi
veadamn.She’sdonealot
formeandit’
stimeIret
urnhermonet
arygest
ures,
I
cannowandI ’
l
ldoit.
Wear
ri
vei
ntown,
att
hemal
l
.
Me:
“Howabouty
ouhel
pmebuyaf
ewt
hingsf
or
Nosi
andf
orourr
oom?
”
Poppy
:“St
il
lmadabouty
oul
eav
ingl
i
ket
hatbutsur
e.
I
’mthesty
lemast
er”
Me:“
OhandI’
ll
final
lygett
opayyoubackfort
he
st
ockandev
eryt
hing.How’st
hatf
oranexcuseto
gi
veyoumoney?”
Shechuckl
esandpushesmewi
thherl
i
ttl
ehi
p.She’
s
madbutIloveher
.
.
POPPY

I
’m star
tingt
of eell
i
kesuchauserbecausewe’ re
nowint heparki
nglotandwaiti
ngforMphot ofetch
us.Heaskedmewher eIam, It
oldhim andhe
off
ered.Isti
l
l f
eelbadthoughbecauseitseemslike
he’
sachauf feurtome.Ididn’
twantthi
sbuthe
i
nsist
ed.Themanhar dl
ytakesnoforananswer .
Suko:
“I’
mtaki
ngat
axi
wheny
ourf
ri
endcomes.
”
Me:“Ihopethi
sisn’
taboutyourmasculi
nit
ybecause
I
’l
lpunchyou.Thisi
sthetwentyfi
rstcent
uryand
we’r
esay
ingawaywi
tht
oxicmasculinit
ytr
ait
s.
Taki
ngali
ftwi
thMphowon’temasculatey
ou.”
Suko:
“It
’snotaboutt
hat
.”
Iknowi
t’
sal
i
ebutIl
eti
tpass.
Me:
“Whati
sitaboutt
hen?
”
Suko:
“Her
ubsmeof
fthewr
ongway
,that
’sal
l
.”
Il
augh.Real
l
y?
Me:
“He’
sthesweet
est
,how’
shepossi
blydoi
ng
t
hat
?”
Suko:
“Hel
i
kessay
ingshi
taboutmygi
rl
fr
iend.
”
Me:
“Doy
ouknowhowt
heyf
ir
stmet
?”
Suko:
“Aty
ourgat
e?”
Me:“Hewasoutwithafewf r
iendsandoneofthem
happenedtobr
ingyoudeargirl
fr
iendal
ongashis
chi
ckfortheni
ght!
”
Hel
ooksatmebl
ankl
y.
Suko:
“Andy
ouexpectmet
obel
i
evet
hat
?”
Me:
“He’
snotoutt
orui
nyourr
elat
ionshi
pli
key
ou
thi
nk.He,l
ikeme,seeshowbadNosi
isf
ory
ou.The
gir
lisoutt
or ui
nyou.
”
Hesni
cker
s.
Suko:
“Your
eal
l
ywantt
opr
essmybut
tonsneh”
Me: “
Mor eli
ketr
yingt
oopeny
ourey
est
owhat
’si
n
yourface.She’
sslowl
y–”
Suko:“EnoughPoppy !ThisiswhyImov edout,soI
won’thavetodeal withyoubashingmygi rl
fr
iend
everychanceyouget .Igetit
;youdon’tli
kehersoI’l
l
repeatthi
s,getheroutofy ourmouth!I’
m agr own
assmanandIcant akecareofmy sel
f!”
Hi
schestisheavi
ng,nosescrunchedup.He’
sreal
ly
mad.AtopicaboutNosiagi
tateshim ev
eryt
ime.
Me:“
Ift
hat’
swhatbei
ngi
nar
elat
ionshi
pcomeswi
th,
t
henI’
m cool
.”
Suko:
“You’
reat
eenager
,youwoul
dn’
tknow.
”
Il
aughandr
aisemyhandi
nsur
render
.
Me:
“Ri
ght
.”
Wedon’
ttal
kunt
ilMphocomes.Thi
sti
me,
he’
s
dri
vi
ngablack4X4.Hecomesoutweari
ngkhaki
short
sandmatchi
ngt-shi
rtwi
thbl
ackcombatboot
s.
Me:
“Ooh,
Janv
anRi
ebeeck.
”
Hechuckl
es,
giv
ingmeahug.
Mpho:
“Mi
ssPoppy
”
Me:“Youdon’tt
hinkI’
m usi
ngyou,r
ight?Imean
you’
retheonewhoaskedwher eIam thencame.We
wouldn’
tmindtakingataxi
.”
Mpho:
“We?
”
Me:
“Yes,
meand…”
Il
ookbesi
desmewhereSukowasandfi
ndnoone.
Whenthehel
ldi
dhel
eave?Itur
nbackt
oMphowho
l
aughsatme.
Me:
“Hewasher
e!”
Mpho:
“Yeah,
right
”
Hel
aughsagai
n.
Me:
“St
op!
”
Mpho:
“Toanswery
ourquest
ion,
Idon’
tthi
nky
ou’
re
usi
ngme.I’
m mostl
ytheonewho’
sgameforpi
cki
ng
youandIwoul
dn’
tcomeifIdi
dn’
twantt
o.”
Me:
“Cont
rol
l
edor
gasm huh.Il
i
ket
hat
.”
Hef
reezes,
nowI
’
mtheonewhol
aughs.
Me:
“Wecanl
eav
e.You’
resuchapr
ude”
.
SUKOLUHLE

I’
vechangedmybeddi ngandal sopackedt hegi f
tsI
gotNosi nicely.Ihopeshel i
kesthem.She’sbeen
pati
entwi thmeanddeser vesthebestinthisl if
e.
Poppyhel pedmebuyaweav e,makeupkitt henalso
gotherthosear ti
fi
cialnail
s.It’
snotmypl acet o
j
udgebutbet weeny ouandI ,Ipref
erthenat uralNosi.
She’sbeaut if
ulasisandIwoul dn’twanthert o
change.Unf ortunately,thi
sisn’
taboutme.Ibought
groceri
esf rom Wool iesandhav epreparedf oodf or
her.IcookedMor occanbeefwi thgrai
nsand
broccoli
.Iev enboughtwi netogowi ththemeal .
We’rehav i
ngsel f-
sauci ngchocolatepuddingf or
dessertandhopef ull
yt hathoneypotasext r
a.
They’reflowerpetalsont hef l
oor ,I’
veli
tthose
aromat i
ccandl eswhileBr y
sonTi ll
erisplayi
ngon
thelowv iaBluetoothspeaker .I’mt emptedt oget
mor ethingsaroundher esinceIl eftmyappl i
ances
atPoppy ’splace.She’soneper sonI ’dr
athernot
thi
nkaboutr i
ghtnow.Iwon’ ttolerateheralway s
speakingi l
lofmygi rl
fri
endoft woy ear
s.It
’s
offi
cial
lytwoy earsnowandIcan’ tbeli
eve.WhatI ’
ve
donei snothingcompar edtowhatNosi hasf orme
butIdohopeshe’ ll
appr eci
atei t.
I
’veswi t
chedt helightoffsot her oom isdimly
i
lluminatedbyt hecandl es.Itsmel l
sgoodi nher e.
Nosi hasbeenspendi ngmor etimewi t
hmesi nceI
mov edoutandi t
’ssomet hingI ’
veappreciated.
Clearl
ythepr oblem previouslylayinmyabodeso
I
’m gladt hatshenowhast helibert
ytocomeasshe
pleases.It’
sFridaysoI ’
m hopi ngwe’ l
lspendt hi
s
weekendt oget
heri fshedoesn’ thavetowor k
tomor r
ow.
I
’
vedrankaboutt
wobeers,usual
lyt
akesmetwent
y
f
ourt
of eel
somethi
ng.Idon’
tgetdr
unkeasi
l
y,
pr
obablybecauseI
’
m accust
omedt oalcohol
.The
cl
i
ckingofherheel
sontheverandaannouncesher
ar
ri
val.Sheopenst
hedoorandsighs.
Nosi
:“Whyi
sit
…baby
?”
Shesmi
leswhichwarmsmyhear
t.Thi
sist
heki
nd
ofr
eact
ionIhopedf
or.
Shescr uti
nizestheroom, l
ooki ngfrom therose
petal
sont hef loortotheplastictableIgottoday
whichIassembl ed.There’
sav asewi t
hfreshlil
ies
onit,togetherwiththebeaut i
fuldinnersetIgot
speciall
yforthisoccasion.Thef oodiscov er
ed
though,thewi neont hetablewi t
ht wowi neglasses
nexttoit.
Nosi
:“Thi
sisbeaut
if
ulbaby
,thanky
ou.
”
Shecomest
omewher
eIam ont
hebedt
henki
sses
me.
Me:“Ialsogotyouaf
ewt
hings.Happysecondy
ear
anni
versarybaby.
”
Ipickupt
hegiftboxesonthebedwhichshe
seemingl
yhadn’tnot
icedandhandt
hem toher
.
Nosi
:“Forme?
”
Hergrinst
retchest oherearsandshe’ ssmi l
ingwi t
h
hereyes.I
t’
sal ookt hatI’
vecapturedandl ocked
vi
vidl
yinmyl ong-term memor y.Ididn’
tthinkit
’s
possi
bleforhergr i
nt ospreadwiderbuti tdoes
whensheopenst hef i
rstboxwhichhasherweav e.
Nosi
:“Baby
!”
Shecrashesmeinanembr acethathasmel aughi
ng
thenki
ssesmeal lovertheface.I
’
m allgoof
yand
warminside.Mygirl
fri
endishappywithmyef for
ts
andIdon’twishf
orany thi
ngelse.
Bytheti
meshe’sopenedal
lhergi
ft
s,herfaceis
soakedi
ntear
sasshekissesmedeeply.Ilov
eher
somuch.
Nosi:
“Idon’
tknowhowtothankyouf
ort
his.Let
’s
ski
pallthef
oodthenmakelove”
Me:
“Thatsoundsl
i
keagoodi
dea.
”
Nosi:“
I’m pumpi
ngwi t
hjoySuko,thankyousomuch.
Fuck,you’
rethebestboyfr
iendever.Iev
enfeel
li
ke
gett
ingononekneeandaski ngy
out omarryme,
t
hat
’showhappyIam.
”
Ichuckl
e.Mar
ri
age?Noway
.
Me: “
Anythi
ngf oryou.IknowIhaven’
tbeent
hebest
boyfr
iendinthepastbutI’m wor
kinghar
dtoensur
e
I
’m abletopr
ov ideforyouandtr
eatyouhowyou
deserve.
”
Shesi
tsonmyl
ap.
Nosi
:“Enought
alki
ng.
”
Irel
ent, r
eciprocati
ngthesensual kiss.Myhandsar e
onherwai st,squeezi
ngthem lightl
yaswesl owly
ki
ss.Idon’ tthinkmyhear thasev erpumpedt hi
sway.
It
’salll
ov e,j
oyandhappi ness.Lifewi t
hNosi keeps
getti
ngbet terandbetter
.Il ov
et hi
swomansomuch.
I’
mt empt edt oplantaseedbutst opmy sel
f.Shehas
otherideast hough.Shest opsmewhenIt r
yt o
unwrapt hecondom.We’ rebothnakednow,
breathingheav il
yandbothf ul
lyaroused.I’m even
getti
nggoosebumps.
Nosi
:“Iwantt
ofeel
all
ofy
ou,
nobar
ri
ers.
”
Me:
“Idon’
twantt
ogetl
osti
nyourwar
mthand
f
orgett
opul
lout
.”
Nosi:“
Iloveyou,y
oulovemeandnothingwi l
l
changethat.Don’
tworr
y,I
’
m onthepil
l.I
t’
sbeentwo
year
sSuko, whydoIneedtogi
veawhol espeech
j
ustsowecanhav er
awsex?Don’tyoutrustme?”
Me:“I
t’
snoty
ouIdon’
ttr
ust
,it
’smy
sel
f.Doy
ou
knowhowhotiti
sint
her
e?”
Ispankheri
nnert
highandshemoans.
Nosi
:“Comeonbaby
”
Sheki
ssesmesohotl
ythatIendupdr
oppi
ngt
he
foi
l
.I’
ddoany
thi
ngfort
hiswoman.
Me:
“Don’
tbl
amemewhenInev
erwantt
ogoback”
Shegi
gglesbutitt
urnsint
oamoanwhenIt hrust
i
ntoher.Myhandsareonherwai st,gui
dingher
movements.I
tfeel
stoohotandt oogood, l
ike
par
adiseandwaybey ondcloudnine.
Me:
“Il
ovey
ou”
Ial
sol
ovehowshe’smovingthatwai
st,pl
easuri
ng
her
sel
fandmewhileati
t.Ilovet
hefeelofherbutt
onmyhands,
they
’vemov edther
e.I
’m moreanass
guyt
hanboobssoIappr
eci
atet
hesecheeks.
Ifeelanigniti
onofourlovethat
’sst
rongert
hanthe
fi
reShadr ack,MeshackandAbednigowerethr
own
i
n.Itsurpassesperfect
ion.
★★★★
Pl
easel
i
ke,
commentandshar
e.
TEN
★★★★
SUKOLUHLE

Itfeel
sl i
keI’mf l
oatingoncl oudnine.Lastni ghtwas
mar velous,epicandt hememor i
esst ayengr avedin
mybr ain.Inev erthoughtit’spossiblet ofall
f orNosi
anymor ethanIhav ebutt hewaymyhear t’
s
pumpi ngr i
ghtnowpr ovesi totherwise.Iloveher
evenmor e,probablymor et hanIlovemy self.Iwant
togivehert hewor l
d,haveherashappyasshewas
l
astni ghtandhav emor eni ghtli
kethat .I
’m maki ng
breakfastwhi lehummi ngani ncoherentsong.I ’
min
agoodmoodwhi chi sfueledmor ebyt hefactt hat
she’slayingonmybedr i
ghtnow.Thought sofher
hav emyhear tski
ppingabeat .Ilovet hatwoman.
Bytheti
meshe’sup,
I’
mthankf
ull
ydonewi t
hthe
br
eakfast
.Shecomeswear
ingmyt -
shi
rtandhugs
mef r
om behi
nd.
Nosi
:“Icoul
dgetusedt
othi
s.”
Sheki
ssesmyback,
makingmystomachfl
utt
er.I
’
m
toool
dtobeget
ti
ngbut
terf
li
esi
nthestomach.
Me:
“Youbet
ter
.”
Nosi
:“Andmor
enight
sli
kel
astni
ght
.Wher
edoy
ou
gett
hemoney,
thoubaby
?”
Me:
“I’
m ahust
ler
.”
Shekissesmybackagai nt henstandsnextt ome,
taki
ngapi ecef
rom theplate.Ofcour se,Iensur edI
haveenoughgr ocer
iesevenf orthemor ning.I’ve
madebacon, eggs,sausages, f
ruitsaladandsome
tomatoes.I’
veeventoastedsomebr ead.Ipul lher
chai
rforhersowecansi tandhav ebr eakfast.My
room l
ooksal i
ttl
eli
kethatofal ivingper sonnow.
Me:
“Iwishthi
sroom wasn’
tthi
ssmal
lsowecan
movei
nt oget
her
.”
Shegr ins.We’
renowdoi ngthedishestogether
.She
want edtodoitalonebutIr efused.Iwanttopamper
her;sheshouldhav eallowedme.Butmybaby
want edtopaymef orthebreakfast,whi
chis
ri
diculousbecauseI ’
m notexpect i
nganypayback.
She’sbeent oopati
entwi thme, it
’sthel
eastIcando.
Me:
“Let
’sgooutt
oni
ght
,ify
oucan.
”
Nosi
:“Toacl
ub?
”
Inod.
Me:“Apub,l
odge.Anypl
acewecoul
dhavefun,
dr
inkanddance.Ihav
en’
tdonet
hati
nages.
”
I’
m hopi
ngshedoesn’ tdi
sagree.Nosiis
unpredi
ctabl
esoInev erknowwhatt oexpect
.I
knowshedoesn’ thaveaproblem wit
hbeingseen
withmebutt hatdoesn’
tmeanshe’ l
lbegame.We’ve
neverdonethat.
Nosi
:“Wecandothat
,Idon’
tmi
nd.Iwantt
orockt
he
hai
rmybabygotme!”
Thenshesqueal s.Il
i
ftherupandweki ss.Thi
sgi r
l
wil
l bethedeathofme.Idon’ tthinkshereali
zeshow
muchshemakesmehappy .Ican’ ti
maginebeing
withouther
.Wet akeabatht oget herinavaskom,
somet hi
ngelseI’
my ettoaccust om my sel
ftobut
somehowwemakei twork.Shehast ol
eaveafterso
Iaccompanyhert hentakeat axitot own.
I
t’
sti
mef
ormet
omaket
hosepost
ersandl
eaf
let
s
whichI’
ll
usetoadv ert
isemyskills.Ican’
tonly
dependonthemoneyf rom Oki
.Ifthingswor kout
well
,I’
l
lopenar epai
rsshopl i
keMphosai d.Thati
n
tur
nwoul dmeanI ’
ll
beablet opr
ov ideformy
gir
lf
ri
endandfinall
ymeetherf ami l
y.
.
POPPY

Ididn’
tthi
nkI’
dbecr awli
ngt othedevil
sosoon.He
didmebadbutt onotevenwai taweek?Ididn’
tthi
nk
so.I’
m nothereformoney ,whichIknowhet hi
nksis
thereasonI’
m here.Icantellbythesmuggrinonhis
face.I
fIwasbr ave,I
’
dwi peitoffwit
haslap.
Me:
“Oki
nawa”
Oki:
“Poppy
,howlovel
ytoseeyourbeaut
if
ul f
aceso
soon.Youl
efther
eli
kearagi
ngdragonyesterday
.”
Me:
“Ican’
tsayt
hesameabouty
ou.
”
Oki
:“Caref
ulnowmi
amor
.I’
dwat
chmywor
dsi
fI
wer
ey ou.”
Isni
cker
.
Me:
“Orwhat
?”
Heonl
yshakeshi
shead.
Me:“I’
m notscaredofy
ouandyes,IknowIshoul
d
be.Youcanrelaxyourt
it
ti
es,
I’
m notheref
or
money.”
Oki
:“Whyelsear
eyouher
e?We’
resupposedt
o
meetnextweek.
”
Me:
“Nextweekf
orwhat
?”
Hi
sfacest
rai
ght
ensashi
sbackdoes.Hel
eansby
hi
stabl
ewhil
est
ari
ngatme.
Oki:“
Iowny
ouPoppy .You’
rei
ndebt
edtomethe
samewayyoursi
sterwas.Don’
tyoudar
epl
ayli
ke
that
!”
Iscof
f.
Me: “You…ownme?NooneownsmeOki sost
op
deceivi
ngyourself
.I’
m act
ual
l
ymadaty
ousostop
addingfuelt
ot hatfi
re.
”
Hel
eansbackonhi
schai
r,hi
seyesst
il
lfi
xat
edon
mel
ikehe’
sabsor
bingmywords.
Oki
:“You’
vegot
tenali
tt
lecomfort
abl
e.Doyouneed
t
ober emi
ndedofthehandthatf
eedsyou?
”
Me:“Iwanty
outoorgani
zeanI
Dandpasspor
tfor
me.SukoandIneedtogotoSwi
tzer
land.
”
Digressionisbest,especi
all
ybecauseI
’m notabout
tofeedi ntohisego.Ifhewantedmedead, hewould
havel ongkil
ledme.Idon’tgetwhyhe’str
yingto
i
ntimidat emewheni t
’sj
ustthetwoofus.
Oki
:“Whatf
or?
”
Me:
“Hewant
stoopenani
nvest
mentaccount
.”
Oki
:“So,
yout
hinki
t’
ssaf
efory
out
ogot
her
e?”
Il
ookathimli
kethecrazymanhe’
sbei
ngr
ightnow.
Whywouldn’
titbesaf
e?
Me:
“Whyt
hehel
lwoul
dn’
titbe?
”
Oki
:“I
’
mjustaski
ng.
”
Ichuckl
e.
Me:“Li
key
ougi
veadamn.Any
way
,yougoi
ngt
o
hel
pornot
?”
Oki
:“Whyar
ewef
ight
ingbaby
?”
Me:“Bet
weenyouref
usi
ngwi
thmymoneyand
seal
ingadeal
wit
hmycoochi
e,doy
oureal
l
yhavet
o
ask?
”
Oki:“Idi
dwhat’sbestf
oryou,y
ou’
rejustbei
ng
stubbornaboutit
.Whatdealdi
dIsealwit
hyour
coochie?DoIlookli
keapimp?”
Ichuckle,
placi
ngoneelbowont het
abl
ewhi
l
emy
otherhandpointsaf
ingerathi
m.
Me: “
Youknownot hi
ngaboutwhat ’
sbestformeOki
soquitfr
onting.Don’ty ouactl
ikeyoudon’tknow
whatI’mtal
kingabout .TheKgosiDani
el’
sthing
wasn’tacoincidence.Howt hehelldi
dheknowwhat
I’
m aboutandt hatIwasusi ngapseudonym?How
couldhegetmef iguredoutthateasi
ly
?”
Oki:
“He’sasmar tmansoit’
snosur
pri
sehefi
gur
ed
youout.He’sbeenint
hisf
iel
dwaybefor
eyoucoul
d
evental
k.”
Al otofthi
ngssuddenl
ymakesenseandt he
reali
zati
onhasmespi l
l
ingcontentsoft
hewater
glassthat’
snotsofarfr
om myr eachonhi
sface.I
feelli
kechoki
ngthehelloutofhim.Howcouldhe
pl
aymel
i
ket
his?
I
’m notsurpr
isedwhenheswi f
tl
ygetsouthi
schair
thenchokesme, pi
nningmyheadont het
abl
ewi th
meonmyback.He’ sstandingbetweenmythighs,
breat
hingonmyf ace.Ihatehim!
Oki
:“Don’
tyouev
ermaket
hismi
stakeagai
n.”
He’
scl
osedmythr
oat.Idon’
tbot
herat
tempti
ngt
o
r
edeem my
sel
fandinst
eadlett
hetear
sfal
l.
Oki
:“Knowy
ourpl
ace.
”
Het henlet’
sgoofmeandIf i
nal
lycatchabreath.
Myt hroatisburni
ng,thetearsst
il
lgushingoutasI
cough.I’m sti
l
llay
ingont hetabl
e,tr
yingtocatchmy
breathwhenhesl apsmyt hi
ghsharshly
.Thatsnaps
meoutofi tsoIsitup,f
acinghim wit
hmyt ear
stai
nedf ace.
Oki
:“Di
dyoul
i
kei
t?”
Il
ookupathi
m bl
ankl
y.
Me:
“What
?”
Myvoicecomesoutraspyandnoti
tsusual
rasp.
Thi
sisfrom hi
schoki
ngme.
Oki
:“Di
dyouli
kehowhefuvkedyou?He’sknownto
ber
ough,par
aly
zingev
en.I
sthatwhatyouli
ke?”
Me:
“I…I
’
m nothav
ingt
hatconv
ersat
ionwi
thy
ou.
”
Igrabmybackf
rom t
het
abl
e,wal
kpasthi
mthen
stopatt
hedoor
.
Me:
“Cal
lmewheny
ou’
vear
rangedwhatIasked.
”
Oki
:“Ofcour
se.
”
Some, ifnotmostofhi sbehav iordoesn’tsurpr i
se
me.It’sjusthardtogetaccust omedt oit
.Aman
putti
nghi shandsonmei ssomet hingIdon’tlikebut
withOki andmysmar tmouth, it’
salway sgoingt o
happen.Atl easti
t’
snev ergonebey ondchoki ngme
butthen, i
talwaysfeelsli
keImi ghttakemyl ast
breath.Deathscaresme, especi all
ybecauseIhav e
Rumi andGi giwhom Ican’tleav einthiscruellif
e.
Itakeataxi t
ot ownwhereIgotoal i
quorstor
efir
st.
Ineedsomeal coholi
nmysy st
em today.I
’l
lpr
obably
haveapar tyforone.Twoshotsofvodkalater
,Ical
l
TsebothenMpho.If i
gur
eIcoulddowi t
hthe
company .Thet wobothcomeaf t
eraboutanhour,
foll
owi
ngeachot her
.Mphoisn’tal
onethough,he’
s
withawomanar oundmyagemay be?I’m notsur
e.
She’ssli
m, t
all
andcaramel ski
nned.She’sbeauti
ful
withherdoeey esandalacef r
ontthatreachesher
butt.She’
sinadenim minidressandv ansold
school.
Mpho:“HeyPops,
thi
sisMose.Nt
wana,
thi
sis
Poppy
.”
Mose:
“Washopi
ngt
ofi
ndapar
tybuthel
i
ed.Hey
gi
rl
”
Me:
“Hi
.Thi
sisTsebo”
Ihavetonudgehim becausehe’sbusydrool
i
ngover
Mpho, whi
chalsomakesmel augh.Thi
sguyis
al
way stur
ningheadswhereverhegoes.That’
show
hotheisandIthinkheknowst hat.
Mose:
“CanIpl
aysomemusi
c?”
Sheal
readyhasherphoneout
.Inod.Par
tywi
th
morei
sdefini
tel
yagoodidea.
.
SUKOLUHLE
Ifeel good,event houghi t’
shour slater.I
’m onmy
wayt oPoppy’s,hopi ngshe’llbegamef orani ghtout
.
Ther e’smusicplay i
ngsol oud,Ihear ditbeforeI
turnedonherst reet .She’shav i
ngapar tyandI ’
m not
i
nv it
ed?Thatst i
ngs.It houghthersi ster’
spartyis
nextweek.Any way ,Ionlyseeonet wocar spar kedin
hery ard.Oneisf ami li
ar,t
heot herIhav enoi dea.I
wonderwher eGi giisinall t
hisnoise.
ThedoorislockedsoIhavetoknock.Idon’tknow
howsomeonehear smeinallt
hisnoise.Mphoi st
he
onewhoopens, looki
ngrat
hersober.He’sdressed
i
nblackskinnyjeansandablackNikepullov
er.
Me:
“IsPoppyher
e?”
Hedoesn’tsayanyt
hingbuti nsteadopensthedoor
widersoIcanpass.She’sonhercof feetabl
ewith
anothergi
rlandt
hey’
retwer kingwithsome
eff
emi nat
eguyspankingtheirbutts.
Me:
“Whatt
hehel
li
sgoi
ngonher
e?”
HelooksatmelikeI
’
m dumb.Fi
ne,i
t’
spr
ett
ycl
ear
buthedoesn’
thavetogi
vemethatl
ook.
Me:
“Whyar
en’
tyoudr
unk?
”
Mpho: “
I’
m pr
ett
ysur
eyou’
renother
etoaskme
quest
ions.
”
Me:
“What
’swi
tht
heat
ti
tudenow?
”
Poppy
:“You’
reher
e!”
Sheget
sofft
het
abl
eandcomest
ome,
engul
fi
ng
meinahug.
Poppy:“
Where’
syourl
i
ttl
egi
rl
fr
iend?I
’
m sur
pri
sed
shelety
oucometome!”
Shehastoscr
eam ov
ert
hemusi
c.Shest
il
lhasher
handovermywai
st.
Me:“I
’
m meeti
ngheraf
ter
,we’
regoi
ngout
.Don’
tyou
wanttocomewit
hus?”
Poppy:
“Idon’
tmi
ndt
aki
ngt
hispar
tysomewher
e
el
se.Mose!”
Me:
“Wai
t,wher
e’sGi
gi?
”
If
eel
li
keamadper
sonwi
tht
hisshout
ing.
Poppy
:“Nother
e!Let
’sgo!
”
Mose:
“Yes!
”
ELEVEN
★★★★
SUKOLUHLE

Myhear t’
sbeat ingoutofmychestr i
ghtnow, which
i
sappar entlythecasewheni tcomest oNosi .Idon’t
knowhowshe’ l
lreacttoseeingmei nt hepassenger
seatofsomegi rl’
scarwhom shedoesn’ tknow.
Turnsoutt hecarIdi dn’
trecognizeisMose’ sandI
rodewi thherandTsebowhi l
ePoppyi swithMpho.I
knowMphoal way sunsettl
esNosi soshe’st he
betterbet .Thecar ’
swai t
ingwher eIusuall
yt urn
whenIaccompanyherhome.We’ realloutofthecar
andwhi leI ’
ml ookingfaraheadt owher eNosi
usuallycomes, thetwoar ebusydanci ngtot he
blasti
ngmusi c.Idon’tthi
nkt heycareaboutwher e
wear e.Fi nall
y,Iseeher.I’drecogni
zeherf rom
what everangl e.I’
m watchingherwi t
hasmi leuntil
she’sinf rontofme.Shel ooksbeautif
ul i
nherweav e
andt her ompershe’ swear ing.She’
sdoneher
makeupl ightl
yandhaspai redheroutfitwit
hbl ack
cour
theel
s.
Me:
“Youl
ookbeaut
if
ul.
”
Nosi
:“Whoar
ethesepeopl
eSuko?
!”
Thi
siswhenIreal
iset
hatshe’
smad.Il
ookatt
he
twowho’
vestoppeddanci
ngandar
enowlooki
ngat
uswit
hfol
dedarms.
Me:
“It
’sMoseandTsebo.They
’recomi
ngwi
thus.
”
Shesni
cker
s.
Nosi
:“Youdon’
tevenhav
eashame,br
ingingy
our
hoet
ocomepi ckmeup.Howdarey
ou? ”
She’
spoint
ingafingeratme.I’m nowevenmore
nerv
ousbecauseshe’sreall
ymad.Thesmokef rom
hernoseandearssaysitall
.Iknowitwouldhave
beenworseifI
’
dcomewi thMphobutitsti
llhur
ts.I
tr
yholdi
ngherhandsbutshey anksoff.
Me:“
Baby
,woul
dyour
atherweuseat
axi
umuhl
e
nj
e?”
Nosi
:“Youdon’
tseeit
,doyou?Youcomet
omewi
th
abit
chandyouthinkI
’l
lbepl
eased?
”
She’
spr
essi
nghar
deronmychestwi
thherf
inger
now.
Mose:“
Yei
y,y
oudon’
tknowmengwany
ana.Don’
t
youdar
ecal
lmeabit
ch.”
Nosi
:“Orwhat
?”
Mosewalkst
ous.HerandNosiar
ethesamehei
ght
sot
hey’
reeyetoey
e,Moseisj
ustsli
mmer.
Mose:“
Cal
lmet
hatagai
not
leobone.
”(so,
youcan
see)
Nosi
:“Bi
tch,
whor
e–”
Herst r
ingofprofanit
iesishal tedbyMosesl apping
her.Ididn’
texpectthatbutIspr i
ngt omygi rl
fr
iend’s
rescueintheaftermat h.Insteadofal l
owingmet o
comf orther
,sheslapsmet henwal ksaway .Ifol
low
afterher.I
tonlytakesaf ewst r
idestil
lI’
vereached
her.Igrabherwr i
sttost opher .Hercheekisr ed,
withani mpri
ntofMose’ sfingers.Iwonderifithurts
asmuchasmycheekdoes.
Me: “
I’
m sor
ryf
orthatbaby.Pl
easef
orgi
veme,Ibeg
you.YouknowIloveyou.I
fyoudon’
twantust
ot ake
hercar
,it
’sf
ine.
”
Nosi
:“LetgoofmeSukol
uhl
e!”
Herr
aisedv
oicecatchest
heat
tent
ionofpasser
sby
soIi
mmediatel
yletgo.
Me:
“Nosi
phopl
ease.Iwantt
odot
hisf
orus.
”
Nosi:“Idon’tknowwhatI’m evendoi ngwit
hyou.
You’r
ej ustanempt ymanwi thabeaut i
fulf
ace.
There’
snot hingtoyouotherthany our
handsomeness.I t’
swhyI’dratherbewi t
hVusithan
you.I’
m doingy ouafavorandy oudomel i
kethi
s?
Sies!
”
Shespitsonmyf ace.Ifeelmyheartbreakasher
wordsregist
er.Who’sVusi?Shecan’tbetalki
ng
aboutmypseudopr ofi
le,canshe?Italsocan’
tbe
thatshe’
stwot i
mingmeandy etIsti
l
lask.
Me:
“You…y
ou’
recheat
ing?
”
Nosi
:“Fokof
fSuko.You’
redi
sgust
ing!
”
Shespi
tsatmeagain.Iwat
chherr et
reat
ingfor
m
wit
htear
sspill
i
ngoutofmyey es.Mygirl
fri
endhat
es
me.She’
sdisgust
edbymeov erwhat?AllIwanted
wasforust ogooutandhav esomef un.Ishoul
d
havenevergonet oPoppy’
s.Ishoul
dhav emadeit
myandNosi ’snight
,noneofthi
swoul dhave
happened.Thingswouldn’
thavespi
raledoutof
contr
olli
kethis.
Idon’
tcarethatI
’
m bei
nglaughedat
.Al
lIknowi
s
I’
m notl
osingmygir
lf
ri
end,Iref
uset
o.
Tsebo:
“OKhandsome,
Ithi
nkt
hat
’senoughcr
ying.
”
He’spul
l
ingmetothecarandIl
ethi
m.Il
ett
het
ear
s
conti
nui
ngwit
hthei
rdri
ppi
ng.
Mose:
“Beer
?It
’l
lhel
p.”
Me:
“Thi
s…t
hisi
sal
lyourf
aul
t.
”
I
’m poi
nti
ngather
.Myv oi
ceisgroggyandmyt
hroat
hur
ts.Thelumpdoesn’
tseem t
ogoaway .
Me:
“Ishoul
dhav
enev
eragr
eedt
othi
smadness.
”
Mose:“Areyouki ddi
ngme?Thewomanspataty ou
notonce,butt
wi ce.Notonlyisthatcondescendi
ng,
demeaning,di
srespectf
ul,i
nsulti
ngbutitalsoshows
howmuchshedoesn’ tcareabouty ou.That’
snot
l
oveSuko.She’st oxi
candy ou’r
ewayt oogoodf or
al
loft
hat
.”
Me:
“Youknownot
hingaboutme!
”
I’
mr agi
ng.If
eell
ikedoi
ngsomethi
ngtoherbutI
can’
t.Nomat t
erhowmadIget,I
’
llnev
erputmy
handsonawoman.Idespiseher
.
Tsebo:“
Calm downman.Thatgi r
lisn’
twhoyou
thi
nksheis.Trustme,Iknow.I
’
vebumpedi nt
oher
sever
alt
imesatgr oov
e.”
Me:“Li
keI’
dbeli
eveyou!You’
rej
ustli
kePoppy,
not
want
ingthebestforme.Shemightbetheonewho
puty
ouupt othi
s.”
Mose:“
Hay
ino,
what
evershef
edy
oui
sst
rong
shame.
”
Me:“Youshutup, act
inglikeyouknowmewhen
you’
vebar el
yknownmef oranhour.Thingswouldn’
t
haveturnedoutli
kethisifIhadn’
tgonet oDamn
Poppyandt urnedmyni ghtfort
woi nt
oacr owd.I
regr
etitandIhonestl
ywantnot hingtodowi t
hallof
you!
”
I
mmedi
atel
yaf
terIsayt
hat
,thecarhal
ts.
Mose: “
Suko,
don’tmakemet ur
nheartl
ess.We’r
e
goi
ngoutandy ouaregoingt
oenjoyyoursel
f,
whetheryoul
ikei
tornot.We’
regoingtoMoobar .
”
Shestart
sthecaragainandIr emainsil
entuntilwe
reachourdesti
nati
on.Icanfeelthesogginessofmy
eyes,i
tspuff
inessandthebagsundert hem.I’m
suchasissyforcryi
ngli
kethisbutIdon’tcare.
Tsebo:
“Youneedtowipeyourfaceandmaybeput
somemakeupt ohidet
hebags.Ihavesomewipes
i
nmypur se.Shoul
dIworkonit
? ”
Iabsentmindedl yagree.Ican’tstopthinki
ngabout
Nosiandourf ight.I’
m pr ayi
ngi nmyhear tthatshe
doesn’tl
eav eme.I ’
m ev enwill
ingt ogiveherallthe
moneyImadei fthat
’sgoi ngtokeepher .Ijustcan’t
l
oseher .Breat
hi ngisevenhar dnow, myhear ti
st or
n.
Ifeell
ikeit
’sbeingpul l
edoutofmychestand
squashed.Ilettheboydowhat ev
erhewant stomy
facethengetoutoft hecaraf ter.
Att
hispoi
nt,
Idon’
tthi
nkIcar
eaboutwher
eIam.
.
POPPY
Seemsli
keanightoutisexactl
ywhatIneeded.Gigi
i
sspendingt
heweekendwi thRumi, wi
llonl
ycome
onSundaysoIhav el
otsofti
mef orfunonmyhands.
HewantedtospenditwithhersoIletit
.Mphohas
l
oosenedupafterafewshots.We’rewaiti
ngforbo
Sukowhoaretakingfor
evertogethere.
Mpho:
“Iadmi
tdef
eat
.Ican’
tkeepupwi
thy
ou.
”
Ichuckl
easwegot
osi
tdown.We’
ref
rom t
hedance
fl
oor.
Me:
“Iknowdol
l
.Adr
ink?
”
Heshakeshi
shead.
Mpho:
“I’
m dr
ivi
ngsowat
erwi
l
ldo.
”
Me:“Ei
sh,
Ifor
got
.Whyar
etheyt
aki
ngsol
ongt
oget
her
e?”
Het
akesouthi
sphone.
Mpho:
“I’
l
lcal
lMoseandhearwher
etheyar
enow.
”
Il
eavehimtot
hat,goingt
ogetmysel
fadri
nkand
waterf
orhi
m.Ilov
et hatt
hepubwe’r
eati
schi
ll
ed
andisn’
tovercr
owded.We’
renotbr
ushi
ngagai
nst
eachotherandall
that
.
Igobackt
ohi
m af
ter
.
Me:
“And?
”
Mpho: “
Moobarbutt hey’
ll
comehereaf
ter.
Apparentl
ythey
’ret
ryingt
onumbSuko’sheart
.Hi
s
gi
rl
fri
endwentf art
histi
me.Theyf
ought,
shespaton
hi
m andl ef
t.
”
Ichokeonmydr
ink,
coughi
ngunt
ilIcanbr
eat
he
normall
y.
Me:
“Shedi
dwhat
?!”
Henods.
Mpho:
“Spatonhi
mtwi
ceandev
ensl
appedhi
m.”
I
’m boi
lingnow.Whothehell
doesNosithi
nkshei
s,
doingmybestf r
iendl
i
kethat
?It
’saboutti
meIpai
d
thatbi
tchav i
sit
.
Me:“Ihopehel
eaveshert
hist
ime.Thi
sgi
rldoesn’
t
hav
eal imi
tman!Howdareshe?”
Mpho:
“Shesay
shewassobbi
ngi
nthecar
,snor
t
andall
.Tsebohadt
oputmakeuponhi
mtohi
dehi
s
eyebags.
”
Me:“I
’
m goingtodeal
wi t
hher.Idon’
tcareifSuko
hat
esmef ori
tbutIwil
l.Shewenttoofarthi
stime.”
Mpho: “
Idon’
tthinkyoushouldintervene.Sukoisa
grownassmanandt hi
schallengeisnecessary.It
’s
partoft
hecraft
ingprocess.Aftertheburning,
he’l
l
comeoutshini
ng. ”
Me:
“It
’st
oomuch.
”
Mpho:“
Howaboutabot
tl
e?Yeah,
letmegoget
t
hat.
”
Hi
stranqui
li
tyissocont
agi
ous,Ir
elent
.Sukoand
t
heothersonlycomeaft
eraboutt
wohour s,
looki
ng
t
oreall
ybeint hemood.
Mpho:“
Didy
oudr
ivewhi
l
eyou’
ret
hati
ntoxi
cat
ed
Mose?
”
Mose:
“I’
vedri
venwhil
eI’
m worse,
r el
axdad.We’
re
her
eandsafesonothi
ngelsematters.
”
Izoneoutt
her
estofthei
rconver
sat
ionbecausemy
focusi
snowonSuko.Helooksbad.Thehurti
s
r
efl
ect
edonhisface,
Nosireal
l
ydi
dhim di
rty
.Iget
whatMphosai
dbutther
e’snowayI
’mlett
ingthi
sgo.
Suko:
“Whyar
eyoul
ooki
ngatmel
i
ket
hat
?”
He’
sal
readypour
edhi
msel
fsomeHenny
.
Me:
“I’
m wor
ri
edabouty
ou.
”
Hechuckl
esandgul
pst
hecont
ent
sofhi
sgl
ass.
Suko:
“Why
?”
Me:
“Icanseey
ou’
rehur
tandI
’
llsor
titout
.”
Suko:“Idon’
tevenwantt
obehere,l
etal
onesee
yourfacesostayawayfr
om me.Bytheti
meit’
sal
l
overandI’m dr
oppedatmypl
ace,y
ou’l
lbedeadto
me.”
Hesaysthi
ssocal ml
yandisyetsogenuine.Iknow
whyhe’sdoi
ngt hi
swhichi
swhyI’m notsurpr
ised
buthe’
smadi fhethi
nksI’
l
lal
l
owi t
.
Mose:“Youguysar
esourman,dead.Poppy
,let
’sgo
danceandstopbei
ngDrPhi
l
.”
Shegr
absmyhandandpull
smet othedancef
loor
.I
fol
l
owsui
t,r
ememberi
ngthatIagr
eedtothi
s
becauseIwantt
ol etl
oose.I
’m wor
ri
edaboutSuko
butI’
l
lpart
ial
l
yfol
lowMpho’ sadvi
ceandlethi
m be.
Fornow.
.
SUKOLUHLE

Mpho:
“OK,
that
’senough.
”
Hetakest
heal
mostempt
ybot
tl
eofHennessey
f
rom me.
Me:“Youthi
nkyou’
ret
heonl
yonewi
thmoneyneh.
FokoffMpho!
”
Istumbl etot hebarsoIcangetmy selfabottleof
Ciroc.Theal coholisstarti
ngtokicki n.Idon’
tget
drunkthatf astbutI’v
er eall
ybeensi ppingitl
ikeit
’s
wat ert
onight .I
’m goi
ngt odrinkunt i
lallt
hat’
sonmy
mindi shappymemor i
esofNosi andI .Ionl
ywantt o
remembert hegood.He’ sonmel ikear ash.I
’mjust
aboutt otakeagul pst r
aightfrom thebot t
lewhenhe
takesit.
Me:
“Your
eal
l
ywantt
opi
ssmeof
f,huh”
Mpho:
“I’
mlooki
ngoutf
ory
ou.
”
We’reatthebar.He’ssi
tti
ngont hechairbesi
des
mine.Igl
anceatt heexpensi
vewat chonhi swri
st
thenthediamondbandonhi ssmal lfi
nger.Thi
s
bastardi
sr i
chanddoesn’tconcealit
.
Me:“
Youdon’tknowmelikethat
.Givememybot
tl
e
Mpho,I
’
m notinthemoodforyou.”
Mpho: “Wheredoy ouev
engetthemoney?Youwere
cryi
nglastti
meaboutnothav i
ngast
ablejoband
you’r
enowspl ur
gingonalcohol
?Hav
ey ougone
crazy?”
Me: “
Youdon’tgettolect
ureme, I
’m notyourchil
d.
Myf i
nancesalsohavenothi
ngt odowi t
hy ouMpho,
you’r
enotmywi f
e.Giv
emet hedamnbot t
lenigger
beforeIchoketheli
feoutofyou.”
Mpho: “ActyourageforonceSukoluhl
eandstop
wit
ht hepitypart
y.Li
fe’
shardouttherebuty
oudon’
t
seeusdr owningoursorrowsi
nalcoholwecan’t
aff
ord.”
Me:
“Onceagainsomeonewhothi
nkst
heyknowme
mor
ethanIknowmy sel
f.Whodoyout
hinky
ouar
e,
l
ectur
ingme?Youdon’
tgett
otel
lmehowt
oI
shoul
dconductmyl
if
e.”
Isnatchthebot
tl
ef r
om hi
m andtakemydesi
red
gulp.Heshakeshisheadthanvacat
eshi
sseat.I
didn’
tneedhisnegati
vi
tyanyway.
I’
m seei
ngdoublewhenIgetof fthebarchai r
.The
musicismakingmedizzy,thebeatpl ay
inginmy
earsandmakingthem v
ibrate.I
’v
ej ustfi
nisheda
bott
leofci
roconeman, Ishouldgetat rophyfort
hat
.
Iseet
woofhim wi
thhisfor
eheadfur
rowed.They
waveahandonmyf aceandIl
augh.
Me:
“Wher
e’sPoppy
?”
Them:
“Smoki
ng!
”
Iputmyhandontheshoul
derofoneandhoor
ay,
he’
snowone.Ibli
nkacoupl
eoftimesunt
ilmy
vi
sionhasgot
tenbet
ter
.
Me:
“I’
m…di
zzy
”
Icanbar
elyst
andsoIusehi
sfi
gur
eforsuppor
t.
Mpho:
“Let
’sgooutf
orsomeai
r.
”
Hisvoi
ceiscloudedbutIdon’tmi
sshowhesounds
l
ikeaparent
.Hehashi smamabearbootson,on
boar
dwi t
htakingcar
eofdr unkSuko.
Iclosemyey esandlettheairhi
tme, stil
lleaningon
himf orsupport.Mychestisburning,probablyt he
alcoholdoingitsbusinessonmyl iv
er.Ican’ t
remembert helastt
imeIdrankthatmuch.Ihat e
alcoholbecausei tmakesmesoawar e, pumpi ng
endorphinsanddopami nel
ikeit
’scrazy.Ithinkt hi
s
i
swhatbr eedssubstanceabuse; t
hef eel-
good
feeli
ngitbringsus.
Me:
“Yousmel
lgood.
”
We’r
eintheparkingl
otwher
ether
eisn’
tasmuch
noi
se.I
’m surpr
isedmyvoi
cecameoutwell
.He
cl
earshi
st hr
oat.
Mpho:
“Thanks.
”
Me:
“Ihav
eaquest
ion.
”
I
’veopenedmyeyesandnowlooki
ngathi
mi nt
he
dark.Ourpr
oxi
mit
yisunl
awf
ulbutI’
mtest
ingwater
s
here.
Mpho:
“Ask.
”
Me:
“Doy
ouhav
eachoki
ngki
nk?
”
Hecoughsprof
usel
y.Iendupbeat
inghi
sbackunt
il
he’
sdonethenl
augh.
Mpho:
“Why
…whyar
eyouaski
ngt
hat
?”
Me:“Yougotflushedlastt
imewhenIdi
dit
acci
dental
l
y.It’
sjustusheresoy
oucantel
lme.I
won’
tjudge.”
Mpho:
“Idon’
tknowwhaty
ou’
ret
alki
ngabout
.”
Ichuckl
eandnod.
Me:
“Ify
ousayso.It
hinkI
’
mreadyt
oheadback.
”
Mpho:
“Backi
nsi
de?
”
Me:
“Tomypl
ace.Iwantt
osl
eepi
tof
f.
”
Mpho:
“Oh,
thenI
’
lldr
ivey
ou.
”
Me:
“Iwashopi
ngf
ort
hat
.Thanky
ou,
man.
”
Henods.Heeasilyspotshi
scar.Ial
mostdozeoff
whenI’
mi nsi
de.Myey esar
ereall
yheavyonme
r
ightnow.ImightbeonahighrightnowbutIdr
ead
whatt
omor
rowi
sgoi
ngt
ofeel
li
ke.
*
***
**

Iknowit'
slat
ebutt
hat'
sbett
erthannev er
.Guys,
pleasedocommentandshare.Inoti
cedtheyweren'
t
muchcomment sonthepr
eviousinsertwhichwas
discour
agi
ng.Commentsmot i
vateme.
NB:50SHARESONTHI
SPOSTGUARANTEESA
WEEKENDBONUS.
TWELVE
★★★★★
SUKOLUHLE

Memor i
esofl astni ghtar en’ tv i
vid, t
hey ’refoggy.I
wakeupt omy selfspr awl edont hebedwhi chmakes
mewonderhowIev engother e.Theheadache
symbol i
zeshowmuchIdr ank, alongwi thmydr y
throatandt het wistingofmyst omach.Mychesti s
sti
ll burning,remi ndingmeofmydr unkenst at
e
whi chhasn’ tescapedmey et.Ineedt woquar tsto
curbt hisgr uesomehangov er.Whathappenedt o
dri
nki ngwat eri nbet ween?Myt empl esar epulsati
ng,
l
astni ghtmusthav ebeenr ough.I ’
m onl yinmy
boxer sy etIdon’ tremembert aki ngof fmycl othes.I
putonat -shirtthengr abahundr edr andnot e,Idon’t
botherwi thshoes.Ir eallyneedadr inknow, Ifeel
l
ikeshi t
.Thet av ernisn’ tfarf rom myr oom, about
fi
vet otenmi nut eswal k.Igetmy sel
ff ourquar ts
thenwal kbackt omypl acei nt hisscor chingweat her
.
It
’sl ateMar chandi nst eadoft r
ansi tioningintoa
l
it
tlechil
l
yweatherbecauseoftheappr
oachi
ng
winter
,wehavetodealwiththi
s.
HiscarisparkedbymydoorwhenIgetback.This
guyisreal
lysomethi
ng,
I’l
lbegintothi
nkhe’s
obsessedwithmeorsomet hing.He’
sleani
ngbyi
t
wit
hhisbackandsmoki ng.Ididn’
tknowhesmokes.
Me:
“Whatdoy
ouwant
?”
Il
eftmydoorunl ockedbutIdon’
tbothergoi
ngi
n.
It
’ssuf
focat
ing.Isitonthever
andainstead.
Mpho:
“Icametocheckupony
ou.Youwer
epr
ett
y
dr
unkl
astnight
.”
Me:“Det
ail
soflastni
ghtmaybefoggybutIdo
r
emembersayingIdon’twantany
thi
ngtodowith
youandyourf
ri
ends.”
Mpho:
“Yousai
dPoppybuty
eah,
what
ever
.”
Me:
“Howdoy
ouknowwher
eIst
ay?
”
Hef
urr
owshi
sbr
ows
Mpho:
“Yout
oldme.Idr
ovey
ourar
seher
e.”
Hef
ri
ngesatwhatIt
hinkheconsi
der
sapr
ofani
ty
whi
chmakesmesni
cker
.Goody
-two-
shoes.
Me:
“Yougotmei
nsi
de?
”
Mpho:
“Yes.
”
Me:
“Mm,
whatel
se?
”
Mpho:
“Whatdoyoumeanwhatel
se?Whatt
hehel
l
ar
eyouaccusi
ngmeof?
”
Iscof
f.
Me: “
Nothi
ng,Justleavemealoneman.Youand
thatbi
tchyou’
v ementi
onedhavewreckedenough
havocinmyl i
fe.Iwantnot
hingtodowithal
lofyou!
”
Mpho:
“You’
reanasshol
e.”
Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“You’
rest
il
lher
e?”
Iopenonewi t
hmyt eeth.Iboughtf ourblacks.I’
ll
probablygobackt osleepaf t
erthis.There’
st oo
muchgoi ngoni nmymi nd,Ineedt oforget.Helooks
atmel i
kehewant st osaysomet hingbutdoesn’t.
Instead,het hr
owst hest umpawayt henget sint
ohis
car.Goodr iddance.
.
POPPY

Thebittertast einmymout hwhenIwakeupmakes

megag.Lastni ghtwasf un, Ireall
ywentati t.I
howev erhear dt hatSukowenthar deroni t,al
l
becauseoft hat…her .She’ sr eal
lyoutt odestroyhis
l
ifeandt hemandoesn’ tseei t.Ikeepaskingmy sel
f
whathewant st oseehappeni ngbef or
eitregist
ers
i
nhi smi ndt hatshe’ snotshi t.Howbadmustshedo
hersohecanseeherf orwhatshei s?I’
m honest l
y
getti
ngimpat i
entwi t
hkar mabecauseshe’ staking
toolong.Iwal kt ot hebat hroom wher eIbrushmy
teet
ht hent akeabat h.Tsebosl epther ewhileMose
spokeofsl eepi ngatMpho’ s.Ipr oceedt othe
kit
chenaf termybat h,lazyt odr essupsoI ’mj ustin
myunder wearset .I
t’shott oday .
Igetacal
lfr
om Oki
whenI’
m busymaki
ngbr
eakf
ast
.
Idohopehehasnewsforme.Iknowhi
sguy
swork
veryf
ast.
Me:
“Oki
nawa”
Oki
:“Poppy
!Igotgoodnewsf
ory
ou;
yourpasspor
t
andI
Dar er
eady.
”
Me:
“That
’smor
eli
kei
t.Whenar
eyoubr
ingi
ngt
hem
t
ome?”
Oki:
“ I
’
m notdoi
ngt
hat
.Youwantt
hem,
youcome
getthem.”
Me:
“Ri
ght
.Di
dyoubookaf
li
ghtf
orme?
”
Oki
:“Doneandf
ort
hatf
ri
endofy
our
stoobuthe’
l
l
hav
et orei
mbur
seme.
”
Me:
“Hoor
ay,
youusedawor
dri
ght
.”
Hechuckl
es.
Oki
:“Ohf
uckyou.Doyouknowthattomorr
owisD-
day
?Idon’
twanttohavet
ofoll
owy ouPoppy.
”
Me:“I
t’
snotexact
lyt
omorr
ow,itst
artsonTuesday
andIwon’
tevenbeheret
hen.You’
llhavet
orelax.
”
Oki:“
I’
m sti
l
l t
appingt hatbefor
eyouleaveandthat
’s
notupfordiscussion.Areyouleavi
ngwithyourson?
Igothim apasspor tandbirt
hcert
if
icat
ejusti
n
case.
”
Me:“
Howgener
ousofyou.It
hinkleav
ingwit
hhim
woul
dact
ual
l
ydohim goodplusit
’sachancefor
hi
mtoseewher
ehismamagr ew.”
Oki
:“Per
fect
.”
Me: “
Youdoknowthisdoesn’tchangeanyt
hing,r
ight
?
I
’m sti
ll
madatyouforputt
ingmyl if
eonthelinel
ike
t
hat.Thatmancoul
dhav ekil
l
edme! ”
Oki:“Yethedidn’tsowhyareyoustil
lgr
umpyabout
i
t?You’ r
ebreathingandki
cking.Youshoul
dbe
gratefulhesparedyourl
if
eandst opwit
hthe
sulking.
”
Me:
“Youdi
dn’
tcar
e,di
dyou?
”
Oki
:“Car
eaboutwhat
?”
Me:“Youdidn’
tcar
ewhetherIl
i
vedornot .I
nfact
,
youprobabl
yhopedhe’dki
l
lme.Isn’
tthatwhat
happenedwithZur
i?”
Oki
:“Iwoul
dnev
erki
l
lyoursi
ster
,Il
ovedher
!”
Me:“Youwerebraggingj
usty
est
erdayaboutowni
ng
hersonowyoulov edher
?Youwouldn’
tbebangi
ng
herl
it
tl
esist
eri
fy oudid.
”
Oki
:“Iseeheri
nyou,
that
’swhy
.”
Me:
“You’
repat
het
ic”
Icli
ckmyt ongueandhangup.Thi
sguyir
ksme
sometimes.Tsebofi
nall
ywakesupasifheknows
thefood’
sdone.Isetupthet
ablet
henwedigin.
Tsebo:
“Thi
sisexact
lywhatIneeded.
”
Imadeitgr
easywithsausages,
bacon,
cheeseand
evensomespicychi
ckenwings.
Me:
“Iknowr
ight
,per
fecthangov
err
emedy
.”
Tsebo:“Idon’tgethowy ougett
oeatli
kethi
sand
sti
ll
don’tgainweight.Theonlyt
hingt
hat’
sfati
s
yourbooty”
Il
augh.
Me:“
Iguessit
’sagenet
icsthi
ng.Idohi
tthegy
m
t
houghever
yonceinawhi l
e.”
Tsebo:“Ar
ewebui l
dingupstaminafort
hatNosigi
rl
?
You’r
enotabouttol etherbeaft
erhowshetreat
ed
yourbestf
riend,
right?”
Me:
“Ofcour
se.He’
l
lpr
obabl
yhat
emef
ori
tbut
someonehast
osetherri
ght.I
’
llev
enspi
tonherl
ike
shedi
donhim.I’
m notwai
ti
ngforkar
ma;I
’l
lbet
hat
bit
ch.
”
Tsebo:“Good.Shedeser vesallt
hatandmor e.You
shoul
dhav eseenhi m cryi
ngwhenshewal kedaway .
Itwasalmostlikesomeonehaddi ed.Hewas
weepingandshedi dn’
tdarelookback.She
humili
atedhim hle.Peoplewhopassedbywer e
mostlylaughi
ngathi m.Itwouldhav ebeenmor e
heart
breakingi
fIwasn’ tdrunk.
”
Hearingt
hispumpsmeupmor e.Ihavenodoubt
thatNosideser
veswhat’
scoming.Unli
keSuko,I
knowwher esheli
vesandit
’swhereI’
m goi
ngaft
er
thi
s.
Il
ethim dot hedi
sheswhil
eIcl
eanuparoundthe
house.IthankNosifort
heener
gybecauseI’
dbeso
ti
redifIwasn’thy
pedupaboutrear
rangi
ngherface
andreit
erati
ngthesamehumili
ati
onshedidonSuko.
Igorefr
eshaftert
hendr essi
ntobl
acksweatpants
andamat chi
nghoodie.Iwearmyallst
ars,
maki ng
sur
et oti
ethem ti
ght
ly.Tseboborr
owedhimself
someofmyclot
heswhi
chIknowhewon’
tret
urn.I
don’
tev
erbot
herwit
hhi
m.
Tsebo:
“Ihadawetdream aboutMpho,
Ifeel
sobad.
I
t’
snotcheati
ng,
isi
t?”
He’
ssor andom,Il
aughatt
hat
.Iwasn’
texpect
ing
hi
mt osaythat.
Me:“
It
’snotcheati
ng,
rel
ax.Idon’
tbl
amey
out
hough,
t
hatmanisfir
e.”
Tsebo:
“Imagi
net
heki
dswe’
dhav
e.”
Il
ookathim andl
aughatthedr
eamylookhehason
hi
sface.Heh,hepr
obabl
yhasheart
yeyes.
Me:
“Youknowwhyi
t’
ll
alway
sbeadr
eam?
”
Her
oll
shi
sey
es.Ichuckl
e.Heknowswhat
’scomi
ng.
Tsebo:
“St
opbei
ngahat
er,
agi
rlcandr
eam.
”
Me:“Dr
eam abouthav
ingbabi
eswi
thy
ourmonkey
andnotmyfri
end.”
Tsebo:“
Yourf
ri
endhast
hehot
sforSuko,
Isaw
hi
m. ”
Me:
“Ar
gh,
I’
m notsur
pri
sed.Fi
rstt
imet
heymet
,
Sukowast
opl
ess.
”
Tsebo:“
Damn!Whywasn’
thel
i
ket
hatwhenImet
hi
m? ”
Hef
rowns.
We’veal
mostarri
vedatourdesti
nati
on.Iwonder
whySukohasn’tf
oundwhereshest ays.It
’sinthe
samev i
l
lagehe’
srenti
nginwhichmakesmewonder
howsheconcealsit
.Anyway,weopent her ust
ygate
whenadogcomesbar kingatus.Tseboscr eams
nexttomewhileIl
augh.How’shescar edofdogs
whil
eIhaveone?
Me:
“Chi
l
l,i
twon’
tbi
tey
ou.
”
Thelankymal
eisholdi
ngontomyhandf
ordearl
if
e,
usingmeasashiel
df r
om t
hedogwhi
chi
snolonger
focusi
ngonus.
Shewasr ightabouttherenovati
onsthough.She’
s
extendedtheprevi
ouslythreeroomedhousewi th
threemoreandshe’ salmostfini
shed.She’
salso
boredwaterbecauset helastt
imeIpassedher e;
theydidn’
thaveat ap.She’sworkedforherfamil
y.
She’
ssurpri
sedt oseeus,hereyesal
lwi
de.She’
s
weari
ngapi nkgownwi t
hal egofapant
yhoseon
herhead.Shelooksli
kethejokeshe’
smakingoutof
Suko.
Nosi
:“Howdi
dyouev
en…whatdoy
ouwant
?”
Me: “
Bofebeisi
nyourfamil
y’sbloodneh?That
’s
howIknowwher eyoustay.Ioncebeatupyour
sist
erforopeni
nghert
highsformymanbutInev er
thoughtI’
dbebackher
e.”
Nosi
:“Youhav
etol
eav
e,Spor
ty!
”
Il
augh.Spor
tyi
saChihuahua,
whatdoesshet
hink
he’
ll
dotouspluswe’
reinthehouse.
Me:“You’r
estil
l wearingagownatalmostnoon?
Andsti
llhaven’tcleaned,
lookathowthesi
nkis
fi
l
ledwithdirt
ydi shes.Si
esman!”
Ispi
tatherandy
es,
Icanseeshewasn’
texpect
ing
that
.
Nosi
:“You…y
oudi
dn’
tjust
”
Shechar
gesatme,thr
owingfi
stsattheairwhi
ch
makesmelaugh.Doesshethi
nkIcan’tst
andmy
own?Igrewupinthestr
eets.I’
m aboutt
ocatchan
assaul
tchar
ge,
that’
sforsure.Isl
aphercheek,
heari
ngthei
mpactechointheirki
tchen.
“
What
’sgoi
ngonher
e?”
OH, i
t’
sthatgir
lIoncehi t
.Shehal
tsherstepswhen
shereali
zesit’
smei nsteadofcomingtohersi
ster
’s
defense.If
istherpantyhosecover
edhairandshe
winces.
Me:“Yout
hinkyoucanj
ustspi
tatmyf
ri
end?You
hav
eanotherthi
ngcomi
ng.”
Isl
apheragai
n.Shehasherar
mscov er
ingherface
whil
escr
eamingli
keshe’
sonfir
e.Ionl
yslappedher
twi
ce.
Tsebo:“Thi
sonei
sforMi
ke,
myexIsawy
ouwi
th
theotherday.
”
Hethr
owsanuppercutjustassheremovesher
ar
msthenspi
tsonherface.Iletgoofherhai
r.
Tsebo:
“That
’sf
orSuko.
”
Heh,themother(It
hink)comeswit
hasjambokand
chasesusout.Thei
rdogal sor
unsaft
erusaswe
run.There’
snowayI ’
m goingtostayforthat
.She
chasesaf t
erusunt ilwe’r
eatt het
arroad.It’
sonl
y
therethatshewal ksback.Howcananol dwoman
havesuchener gyt hough?Ourchest sareheavi
ng,
l
ungsbur ningandt hroatsdry.Wewai tunderatr
ee
tocatchourbr eathes.Afterwedo, webot hl
augh
aboutwhatt ranspired.
Tsebo:
“Di
dyouseet
hatseekoi
e?”
Il
aughandnod.
Me: “
I’
dnev ershame.Idon’
tevendothatduri
ng
mdav azosowhywoul dIstandsuchassaul
t?Never
.
Korethatwomanencour agesherdaught
ers
behavior
.Shewasl i
kethatthel
astti
mewi t
hthe
otherone.”
Tsebo:“Si
es.Anyway,I
’
mj ustgl
adshegotwhatshe
gave.Iwouldhavewantedustohithermor
eMara
I
’m notcomplai
ning.
”
Me:
“Ican’
taff
ordt
ogot opri
sonhey.Nosi
justgi
ves
methatf
eel
ingwhi
chiswhyIwaseasyonher .
Wor
se,wewenttothei
rhouse,Ihadt
obesmar t
”
Tsebo:
“Yep,
your
ight
.I’
m goi
nghomenowbutwe
shoul
ddef
ini
tel
yhav
emor
eni
ght
sli
kel
astni
ght
.”
Me:“Wewi
l
l.It
’sZur
i’
spar
tyonThur
sday
,remember
?
I
’l
lseey
outhendoll
.
”
Wehug.Hest
opsataxit
hengetsi
n.Ionl
ywal
kto
mypl
acewhenthet
axidri
vesaway
.
Ifi
ndGigial
onei nsi
de.Rumipr
obabl
yjustdr
opped
hi
m offthenl
eft.Idon’tbl
amehert
hough,maybe
shethoughtI
’m around.
Hehugsmeandki
ssesmycheek.
Me:
“Howwasi
t?”
Gi
gi:
“Fun”
Thenhegr
ins.That
’senought
oshowt
hati
twas.
.
SUKOLUHLE

Iwakeupt hesecondtimef eel

i
ngwor sethant
he
fi
rst
.Atleastthehangoverisn’
tthatbadbutIdidn’
t
eatandIstink.I
’v
eneverli
kedov erindulgi
ngon
al
coholbecauseInowhav etodealwi thit
s
withdrawalsymptoms.Thefi
rstthi
ngIdoi sboi
l
wat ersoIcanbath.I
’m al
sohungry,
Ilastate
yesterday
.Iwaswr ongaboutthehangovernotbei
ng
t
hatbad, it
’sworsebecauseofmyhunger .
Il
ooki nt othebarfr
idget ochecki fther e’s
somethi ngIcanqui ckl
yhi tup.Idon’ tthinkIhave
anypat iencetowait.Isti
llhav etot hinkofhowI ’m
swooni ngNosi again.Everyt i
meIt hinkofwhat
happenedt wodaysbef ore,myhear tbr eaks.Iendup
makingl eanporkchopswi t
hf r
iest henhav ethem
withbread.Ther e’
smadsal tandhotpepperher e.I
downev erythi
ngwitha2l Ki ngsleyt hat’sbeenint he
fr
idge.I’m muchbet terafterever y
thi ng.
Myphoner i
ngssomewher ei
ntheroom.I ’
ve
forgott
enaboutthatl
it
tlemonster
.I’
m notonewho’s
alwaysonmyphonesoIal waysmisplaceit
.Noone
reall
ycall
smeandI ’m notasoci
almediaperson.
Me:
“Hel
l
o?”
Zel
da:
“Ti
nto!
”
Thisoneistheonl
yper
sonwho’sallowedt
ocall
me
thatandIdon’
tgetmad.Idon’
tthi
nksheeven
knowsmyr
eal
name.
Me:
“Whyar
eyouscr
eami
ng?
”
Zel
da:
“Fort
hef
unofi
t.Let
’shav
edi
nner
,I’
l
lcook.
”
Il
ookatt
het
ime.I
t’
sar
ound4pm.
Me:
“Toni
ght
?”
Zel
da:
“No,
onFr
iday
.Comewi
thy
ourboy
fri
endt
hat
i
sagir
l.
”
Il
augh.
Me:
“Youmeangi
rl
fr
iend?
”
Zel
da:
“Yes.We’
l
lcomegety
ou.
”
Me:
“Thatwon’
tbenecessar
y.I
’
llcomet
oyou.
”
Zel
da:
“By
e”
Shehangsupt
henIsi
gh.
I
t’
sreall
ytimeforNosiandIt
ofi
xthi
ngs.It
rycal
l
ing
herandthankf
ull
y,shepi
cksup.
Nosi:
“They…t
heyslappedmeSuko.Theycamei nto
ourhouseandevenspatatme.Ispenthourst
ryi
ng
toscr
ubmyf aceasanat t
emptt
or emovethei
rfil
th.
Youhav
etodeal
wit
hthem baby
.”
Baby.I
t’
sall
Ineedtoheart
oknowt hatwe’
regood.
I
’m smil
ingl
ikear
etar
dnow, happyt
hatmybabyis
backtome.
Me:
“Who?
”
Nosi:“
Poppyandt hatAusi-abut
ifr
iendofhers.They
cameher eanddidallofthat,mymot herhadto
chasethem outwithasjambok.”
Me:
“Theyknowwher
eyoust
ay?
”
I
t’
sall
Ihear
dandI’m wonder
ingwhyI’
mtheonly
onewhohasn’
tbeenatherhome.EvenPoppy
?
Nosi
:“Ar
eyouf
orr
eal
now?
”
Me:
“I’
m aski
ngbabybecauseIdon’
t.
”
Nosi:
“Theyhumil
i
atedmeandthat’
sallyoucare
about?Si
esmanSuko.ForonceIexpect
edy outo
sti
cktomysideandnotf
oryoutobeselfish.
”
Me:“I
’l
ldeal
witht
hem baby
,don’
twor
ry.YouknowI
goty
ourback.”
Nosi
:“Good.
”
Me:
“Ar
ewecool
now?
”
Nosi:“
We’llbecoolonceyoutel
lmet hatyou’
vecut
thatbi
tchoff.Iwantyoutodel
etehernumberand
anythi
ngthatconnectsyoutoher.Idon’
tevenwant
toseepict
ur esofherbast
ardsonony ourphone.
”
Me:
“Ofcour
sebaby
,any
thi
ngf
ory
ou.
”
Nosi
:“Doyouhav
eli
keaR1000?Ineedi
tforsome
st
uffhl
ebaby.
”
Me:
“I’
l
lmakeapl
an.
”
Nosi
:“Thankyou.Justcal
lmewheny
ouhav
eandI
’
ll
comegetit.
”
Me:
“Iwi
l
l.Il
ovey
ou.
”
Shedoesn’
trepl
ybuthangsupi
nst
ead.Atl
eastwe
tal
ked.
*
***
**

Agai
n,comment
sandshar
eswoul
dbemuch
appr
eciat
ed.
Iwasal
sot
hinki
ngt
hatweekendbonusi
nser
ts
i
ncludePOVsofsuppor
ti
ngcharact
ers(
Oki
,Nosi
,
Mpho)inst
eadofthemains.Tel
lmewhaty
ouguys
al
sot hi
nkaboutt
hat
.
THI
RTEEN
★★★★★★★
POPPY

It
’sMondayt oday .Iwokeupear l
yasusual ,prepared
Gigiforcrèchet henr eadiedmy sel
ft ogodownt he
street
.SukoandIar esupposedt ol eavetoni ghtbutI
sti
llhaven’tlethim knowabouti t
.Ideci detocal lhi
m
tolethim know.Idon’ twantthistosl i
phi smi nd
becausei t
’si mpor t
ant.ThelastthingIwanti sfor
Nosi tochowev erycentofhi sandl eavehi m with
mor eregrets.Iknowhe’ sgoingtobeathi msel fhard
whenhef i
nal l
yseesherf orwhoshei s.Atleastletit
bewhenhe’ ssav ed.
Thephonetakesmestr
aighttov oi
cemail
.Itr
yhi
s
numberagainandt
hatpersi
sts.I’
m notafool
,I
knowwhat’
sup.Themanhasbl ockedme.
Idon’
tevenknowwherehest ay
sbutifthere’
s
anyonewhodoes,it
’sMpho.He’saft
erallt
heperson
whodroppedhim of
fyest
erdayorthenightbefor
e.
Hepi
cksupont
het
hir
dri
ngwhi
l
stpant
ing.
Me:
“Hey
,di
dIcat
chy
ouatabadt
ime?
”
Mpho:
“Ah,
notr
eal
l
y.Ij
ustt
ookaj
og.What
’sup?
”
Me:“IneedSuko’
saddress.I
’v
ebeentr
yingtocal
l
mebuti tt
akesmestr
aighttovoi
cemai
l.It
hinkhe
bl
ockedme. ”
Mpho:
“Real
l
y?”
Me:“
Yep.Idi
dn’tt
hinkhewasseri
ouswhenhesai
d
hewant
snothingtodowit
hmebuti tseemshewas.
We’
resupposedtogotoSwit
zerl
andtonight
.”
Mpho:“Iwenttocheckuponhim andhechasedme
out
.I’
l
lforwardyouhisaddr
essthough.
”
Me:
“Thanky
oubabe,
you’
real
i
fesav
er.
”
Mpho:
“I’
m happyt
ohel
p.”
Me:
“Whenam Iseei
ngwher
eyoust
ay?“
Mpho:“
Youcancomeanyt i
mewhenI ’
mfr
ee.Mose
want
edtohostapoolpar
tysoI
’m nowagr
eeing.
Youcanbr
ingafr
iend,Gi
gii
sal
sowelcome.”
Me:
“When?
”
Mpho:
“Thi
sSat
urday
,pr
ovi
dedy
ou’
l
lbeback.
”
Me:“I
t’
sperfect
.Youhav
en’
tfor
got
tenaboutZur
i’
s
par
ty,
right
?”
Mpho:
“Ofcour
senot
.”
Me:“Awesome.I’
ll
seey
ouonThur
sday
.Don’
tfor
get
aboutt
headdress.
”
Mpho:
“Wi
l
lsendi
tri
ghtnow.
”
Webi deachot herfarewel lt
henhangup.Fi ve
minuteslater
,he’ssentt headdr ess.Ihaveto
choosebet weenmyst al
l andgoi ngtoSuko.Ideci de
onthelattersoIcangeti toveranddonewi thf i
rst.
Theyardisbi gwithaf ewpeacht rees.Bl
ocksof
roomshav efill
edit,usuallystudentsstayherebut
onlyt
hosel ookingtocutcost s.Theroomsl ack
maintenance,nottoment ionthest i
nkypitt
oiletyou
smellwaybef oreyouent erthey ard.
Theroomshav enumbersIguesst omakeiteasier
forvi
sit
ors.Hisisnumbersev en.Thedoorisclosed,
curt
ainspulledasift
here’snoonei nsi
debutthe
musicplayingsaysotherwise.
Iknockf i
rstt
henopen.Hedidn’tl
ockit
.He’ssit
ti
ng
onapl asti
cchairwhi
lecounti
nghismoney.Ican’t
beli
evehekeepst hemoneysocar el
essl
y.Whatif
peoplebreakin?Thesenyaopist
sarecapableof
anythi
ng.
Suko:“Whatdoy
ouwant?Imadei
tver
ycl
earIwant
nothi
ngtodowit
hyou.
”
Isti
ll
pullanopposi
techairandsit
.Theli
ghti
sonso
Icanseehisint
eri
or.Theroom i
ssmal l
,waysmal
l
er
thantheonehesleptinatmyhouse.Notevenmy
kit
chenisthi
ssmall.I
t’
sprobablythesi
zeofmy
bathr
oom.
Me:
“Howdoy
oubr
eat
hei
nher
e?”
Suko:“WhatdoyouwantPoppy?Shoul
dIopena
rest
ri
cti
onorderagai
nsty
ou?”
Ichuckl
e.
Me:“Ar
eweenemi
esnow?Howam It
ryi
ngt
ohar
m
you?
”
Suko:
“Yout
ouchNosi
,yout
ouchme.
”
Me:
“Doy
ouknowhowst
upi
dyousoundr
ightnow?
”
Suko:“PhumaPoppy
,Idon’
thav
eti
mef
ory
ou
nonsense.”
Me:“Sukobookedusf l
ight
stoSwit
zer
land.We
l
eavetonight
, t
hat
’sify
ouhaven’
tyetf
orgott
en
aboutyourdream.”
Suko: “I’
m notgoinganywherewithyou.IhatethatI
sti
lltrustyouwhi chi
swhyI’m doingthi
s.I’
l
lgivey ou
themoneysoy oucandeposititt
henspendt her est
withmygi r
lf
ri
end.Thisisal
sogoi ngtobenefi
theri n
thefut ur
e.I’
m alsodonewiththehawkerbusi ness
soy oucanl eavewi t
hthestockIhaveleft
.Ihav eno
usef orit.
”
Me:“
Howmucharey
ouput
ti
ngaway
?Howmuch
di
dOkigi
vey
ou?
”
Suko:“YouandMphoseem tol
ikeacti
ngli
keyou’
re
mywi ves,
busyaski
ngaboutmymoney .I
t’
snoneof
yourdamnbusinessPoppy
.Justtaket
hismoney
andgo.”
Me:
“YouknowIcanaskhi
m,r
ight
?”
Suko:
“Good,
stopbot
her
ingme.
”
Idon’tsayany thing, j
ustwat chhi m counthismoney .
I’
m gladthathe’ sstilltr
ustingmewi thitevenaf t
er
he’scutmeof f.I
t ’
senought oconv incemet hathe
hasnotcompl etelylosthi ssanity.Ihowev ercannot
stopthinki
ngofhowt hi
si sgoingt oaffecthim.How
willhehandleknowi ngt hatNosi isdoublecr ossi
ng
him?Howwi l
lhef eel whenher eali
zesshedoesn’ t
l
ov eher?Abov eal l,howwi l
lfi
nallyseeinghow
stupidhe’sactedi nt henameoft hi
sill
usionhe
mistakenf orl
ov emakehi mf eelabouthimsel f?All
I
knowi sI’
llbether e.I’l
lwipehi stears,holdhishand
andbehi sshoul dert ocr yon.I’vetri
edwar ninghim,
toldhim al
l t
hatshei sbuthest ubbornlyrefusesto
l
isten.I
’vesteppedbacknow.
Suko:“I
t’
sfif
tythousand.Her
e’sacontr
actI
’
v e
draft
edregardi
ngthemoneyI ’
m ent
rust
ingyou
with.
”
Me:
“I’
m aconar
ti
stSuko,
Idon’
thav
easi
gnat
ure.
”
Hepushesthepapert
hat
’sont
het
abl
etome,
along
wi
thablackpen.
Suko:
“Makei
tqui
ckPoppy
,Idon’
twantmy
gi
rl
fr
iendf
indi
ngat
raceofy
ouher
e.”
Ir
oll
myey
esandsi
gn.
Ifeelbet
terwhenIleave.I’
m gladhe’
sst i
l
l t
hinking
ofhisdream butfi
ft
ythousandi snot
hing.Firstl
y,the
accountneedstobemai ntainedyear
lyforacer tai
n
fee.Andsecondly,
Ihavenoi deahowl onghe’ s
goingtokeephismoneyt here.Idi
dn’
tleav ewithhi s
stockbutdidtel
lhimI’
llsendsomeonet of et
chi t.
Heev engavemeadeadl i
nebutIdon’tmi nd.
Idon’tfeel l
i
kegoi ngt owor kany mor ebutIknowI
havetount i
lIfindanal ternat
ive.KeishaandI
haven’tmety etsoshecoul dtrai
nmewheni tcomes
tomaki ngwi gsbecausei tseemsIwon’ thave
moneyf ortheschool .IthinkIalsoneedt odr afta
budgetf oroncesoIcancutcost ssomewher e.At
l
eastInol ongerhav etopayt heloungesuite,Oki
helpedIguess.I ’
l
luset hatmoneyf orabeginner s
stockpackaget hent akeitfrom there.I’
mreal l
yfed
upwi t
hbei ngahawkert ooandno, i
thasnot hingto
dowi thSukoqui t
ting.Ijustfeelli
keit’st
imef orme
toexplor egreenerpast ures.
.
SUKOLUHLE

Ireceivedacall aboutthir
tymi nutesaf t
erPoppyl eft
from someonewhoneedssomeappl iancesf ixed.
Theygav emet heiraddresssoI ’vejusttakenabat h
forthat.Iknowi fIdogood, t
hey’llr
ecommendmet o
thei
rf r
iendsandf ami l
y,broadeningmycl i
ent ele.I
weart heov er
all
sIusedt owearwhenIwasav endor.
I’
m gladt hatdi
dn’tlastlong.IthinkI’l
lcontinue
sell
ingairti
meandel ectri
cit
ythough.I ’v
ealr eadyput
aboar donmydoorf orthat.Itakeat axiwhi chdr ops
mer ightatthedest i
nation.
I
t’
saf
encedy
ard,
thankf
ull
ywi
thnodogs.
Anol
dmansit
ti
ngunderatr
eewavesatmesoI
wal
ktohi
m.It
hinkhe’
stheonewhocal
led.
Me:
“Dumel
ant
ate”
Hi
m:“
Goodmor
ningson.Ar
eyout
her
epai
rguy
?”
Me:
“Yessi
r.
”
Hi
m:“
Mydaught
ergav
emey
ournumber
.I’
vebeen
r
efusingt
ot hr
owawaysomeoft heappli
ancesin
t
hehousewhi chjustdeci
dedtost opworking.She
wantedtoinst
eadr epl
acethem butIt
hinkit’
sa
wasteofmoney .Canyoucheckt hem outforme?”
Me:
“Itwoul
dbemypl
easur
e.”
Ispendthewholedaywithhim.Heisn’
tamanof
manywor dsbutsomehowhekeptmecompany .Hi
s
daughtercametwicetobri
ngusfood.Igott
o
admiretheamazingbondthetwohave.Idon’
t
rememberhavingthatwit
hmypar ent
s.
I’
m doneby5pm.Thedaught ertookmynumberand
saidshe’ll
callme.Itwasaboutfiv
eappliancesand
onlyonewasbey ondrepai
r.I
twasaheat er.The
daughterwasn’tsurpri
sedbecauseit
’sapparentl
y
beenint hefamil
ysinceshewasbor n.I
’mt i
redbut
content.IwishIcouldhavemoreday sl
ikethis.
Nosi
:“Wher
ethehel
lhav
eyoubeen?
!”
She’
sstompingafootwhileheronehandisonher
hi
p.She’
sclearl
ydi
spleased,j
udgingbythelookon
herf
ace.Theroom seemst obeinamess, nothi
ng
i
showIl ef
tit
.Ever
ythi
nghasbeent urnedupside
downasifsomeonewassear
chi
ngt
hroughi
tfor
somet
hing.
Me:
“Di
dsomeonebr
eaki
n?”
Nosi
:“Noandanswermydamnquest
ion!
”
Me:“Ihadar epai
rsgi
g.Wer
eyoul
ooki
ngf
or
something?
”
Nosi
:“Agi
g?Whatgi
g?!Ar
en’
tyouav
endor
?”
Me:
“No,
Ilef
tthat
.Whathappenedher
e?”
Nosi
:“Ar
eyouaccusi
ngmeofsomet
hing?
”
Herey esaremer eslit
sasshesay st hi
s,t
aki
ng
carefulst
epst owardsme.Idon’ tt
hinkIli
kethelook
onherf ace.Ican’tdeci
pheritbuti
tscreamsr unfor
me.Howev er,Ikeepmygr oundassheappr oaches
until
she’sinf r
ontofme.Cansomeonebebeaut if
ul
evenwhent hey’
remad?
Me:
“Baby
,what
–
Thesoundmakesmyearr ingasitechoesthr
ough
ther
oom.Wher edoesshegetsuchstrengt
h?Ihol
d
mycheek;conf
used.DidNosij
ust…butwhy ?
Anot
herontheothercheekandJesus’sver
se
suddenl
ymakessense.Thegatesofheav
enmust
beopenforme.If
lexmyjaw.Itsti
ngs.
Nosi:“Youtakemef orapoesneh.Iknowyouwer e
wi
t hthathoeofy ours.Youprobabl
yworethat
overal
l asadisguise.Doyouthinkyoucancheaton
mehehSuko?Doy oureal
l
ythinkI’
dall
owthat?”
She’ shitt
ingmewi t
hherf ist
sasshesay sthis, t
ears
streami ngdownhercheekswhi chmakesmef eelso
bad.I ’
dnev ercheatonher .Myloyalt
yt ohergoes
bey ondt hatofadogt oit
sgoodowner .Itgoes
bey ondt hatofoldmenandwoment oANC.I t’
sway
bey ondt hatofdevotedMusl i
mst oAllah.I’dnev er
dream ofcheat i
ngonher .Thef i
stsstar ttohur tsoI
holdhert i
nyarmsandf orceherintoanembr ace.I
brushherbackasshecr i
es,thesobbingsomehow
becomi ngcontagious.Ifindmyowney esgl i
st eni
ng
andwi thablink,t
het earsfall
.IwishIcoul dopenmy
hear tsoshecanseehowshe’ stakencont r
ol ofital
l.
Iwi shIcoul dbaremychestopensoshecansee
howi tbeatsforher.
Ilov
eNosimorethanI’
veeverl
oved.Il
ovehermor
e
thanIl
ovemysel
f.Cheat
ingonherhasnever
cr
ossedmymi
ndandIdon’
tthi
nki
tev
erwi
l
l.
.
POPPY

Oki
:“Wher
e’smymoney
?”
Me: “
He’snolongercomi
ngsohowabouty
ou
cancelandaskforadamnref
und”
Oki:
“Don’ttal
ktomeli
kethatPoppy.I
t’
snotmy
faul
tthatyouhadafal
l
outwithyourli
tt
lef
ri
end.
”
Me: “
Hef r
ustratesthehell
outofme.Hel ooked
forwardtoseeingmyhomecount rythel
astti
mewe
spokeoft hi
sonl yf
orhimt obai
loutonme.I
thoughtIdidn’
tcarebutithurt
s.Thisthi
ngdoesn’
t
sitwellwi
thme. ”
Oki
:“Li
fei
sful
lofdi
sappoi
ntment
s,y
oushoul
dknow
t
hat.
”
Me:
“Mxm.Woul
dyouev
erl
i
stent
ome?
”
Oki
:“Ihaveot
hert
hingsonmymind.Youshoul
d
st
arttaki
ngof
fyourclot
hesnow.
”
Hel
ickshi
sli
pswi
thanod.He’
scr
azyi
fhet
hinksI
’
ll
dot
hat.
Me:
“It
’snotTuesdayy
et.
”
Oki
:“Don’
tbull
shi
tmePoppy
.Imadei
tcl
earI
’
llt
ap
bef
oreyouleave.
”
Me:“AndIsaidno.Thi
sismybodyandIhav
eev
ery
r
ighttosayno.”
Hescoff
s,thesoundvi
brat
ingt
hrought
her
oom.He
t
henstandsandclapshi
shands.
Oki
:“Ni
cespeechpri
ncess.Takeof
fyourcl
othes
Poppy,
I’
m notgoi
ngtorepeatmysel
f.
”
Ther
e’saknockonthedoorbef
orei
tthenopens.I
canseetheannoy
anceallov
erhisf
ace.
Oki
:“Idi
dnotsayy
oumayent
er!
”
I
t’
shi
slit
tl
eski
vvy,Loco.Someonef
oll
owsaf
terhi
m
whohasOkist
rai
ghteningup.
Loco:
“I’
m sor
rybossbuthesai
dit
’sur
gent
.”
Oki
:“No,
it’
sfi
ne.Go.
”
I
’
mfaci
nghi
m wi
thmybackt
othedoor
.The
standi
ngofthehaironmybackal ert
smeoft he
demon’spresence.Ihavetogetoutofher
e.Igetup
andgrabthebrownenv elopet
hathasmy
documents.
Oki
:“You’
rest
il
lher
e?Leav
e!”
Hist
onestar
tl
esme.JustasI
’
m aboutt
otur
n,I
bumpint
ohischest
.
Kgosi
:“Poppy
,wemeetagai
n.”
Hedoesn’
taskformypermi
ssionashegrabsthe
env
elopef
rom myclut
chesandtakesapeakinsi
de.
Kgosi
:“Whywoul
dyouneedf
akedocument
s?”
Idon’tbotherl
ookingup.Ever
ysecondthatI’
m
standinghereinfr
ontofhim,soawareandsmel l
ing
hi
m, hasmemor i
esofournightt
ogethercr
ushing
i
nt omymi nd.Idon’twantt
oremember .
Oki
:“I
’
m sur
eshe’
snott
her
easony
ou’
reher
e.”
Hehandsbackt heenvel
opetomeandIscur ryout
l
ikeachil
dscolded.Myheartisbeat
ingoutofmy
chestnow.Idon’tknowwhyhescaresmesomuch.
I’
mt emptedtostandbythenowcloseddoorand
eavesdropbutIv al
uemyl if
emor e.I
’m notaboutto
chooselist
eningoverwhat everbusi
nessthoset wo
havetogetheroverit
.I’
mj ustgladI’
vebeensav ed
fr
om possiblerape.Okiwoul dhaveprobabl
yhadhi s
waywi t
hmeev enwi t
houtmyconsent .Iagreeevery
ti
mebecauseInev erwantt obeav i
cti
m buttoday,
hereall
yscaredme.
Iimmediatel
ypackwhenI’
m backinmyhouse.I’
ve
drankabouttwocupsofwinetodist
ractmy
self
.Gigi
i
sal sopacki
nghisownbag.Theboyisexci
ted
aboutourdepart
ureandI
’dbelyi
ngifIsayI
’
m not
too.
Icoulddowi thabr eakandtimet oj
ustrecharge,
refr
eshandal l.Theplaneleavesat9pm sowehav e
enought i
me.I ’
vealreadyhir
edamet ertaxiwhichis
goingtodr opusatt heair
port.I
’v
ebotheredMpho
enoughf ortheday.Idon’twanthimtost ar
tthinki
ng
thatI’
m usinghim.
.
SUKOLUHLE
She’
sbeenquieteversi
nceshebathedaf
terour
epi
sode.We’
renoweat i
ng.Thesil
encei
sdi zzy
ing.
Tensi
onist
hickinhereandcanreall
ybeslashedby
aknif
e.
Me:
“I…Imadeapl
anwi
tht
hemoney
.”
Herey
esl
i
ghtupasshel
ooksatmeandshesmi
l
es.
Nosi
:“Real
l
ybaby
?”
Me:“Yes.Iev
enaddedmor
ejusti
ncasei
tmi
ghtbe
shot
.”
Nosi
:“Thanky
ousomuch,
you’
ret
hebest
.Il
ove
you.
”
Me:
“Il
ovey
out
oo.
"
*
***
*
Bet
terl
atet
hanev
er,
right
?
Comment
sandshareswoul
dbeappr
eci
ated.Pl
ease
dr
oponef
oryouradmin
(
unedi
ted)
FOURTEEN
★★★★★★
POPPY

We’ vear r
ivedatt heai rportandI ’
m somehowst il
l
hopi ngthatSukochangeshi smi ndandj ustcomes.
It
’si mpossi bl
eofcour sebutt hatdoesn’ tcurbmy
hope.We’ r
et aki ngaf lighttoOrTambot henone
from therest raightt oZur ich.Gigii
sexci tednextt o
me.Hel ooksar oundt heai r
portinaweandt he
happi nesshi sf acedi splayswar msmyhear t.Idon’t
thinkt hi
sboyknowsj usthowmuchhemakesme
happy .Hecompl etesmei nawayIcan’ tfathom, fi
ll
s
voidsInev erknewIhadwhi chiswhyIwantt ostri
ve
har derandr egai nmyl iberty.Myhandsar etaintedin
thebl oodofwhi te-
collarcr i
me.Oki isturninginto
somet hi
ngI ’m begi nningnott ol i
ke.Itstart
edwi th
him dr uggi
ngmej usttohav esexandt henalmost
forcinghimsel font omet oday .Whathappenedt o
theOki whol istenedwhenIsayno?whydoeshe
suddenl yspeakofowni ngmeandt reatmel i
ke
somesor tofpossessi on?Whydi dhewantt oki l
l me?
Thesequest ionsarepl ay i
ngi nmymi ndaswewai t
forourf lightnumbert obecal led.We’ v earr i
v edat
ORTambo.I thappensagai n; t
hehai rsont heback
ofmyneckst andup.Theynot ifymeofhi spr esence
andmyhear tdoest hebeat ingf astt hingagai n.I’m
notscar edofKgosi butev ersi ncet hatni ghtandt he
mor ningwher eIburiedev er ythingt hathast odo
withhi m, Ifindmy selfget tingner vousatt hought sof
him.Thi sshowshowscar edIam ofl osingmyl ife.I
woul dn’tbei fIdidn’thav eGi gi andRumi butt hetwo
arewayt ooy oungandneedme.Rumi i
sbar elya
teenagerandGi giisonl ytwo.Icannotputt hem i na
sit
uat ionwher ethey’ll
hav et ol iv ewi thoutme.
Zurichi st heonlyplacet heycanbesaf ebutI ’m
self
ishbecauseIdon’ twantt hem outofmyr each.
Hesi tsnextt ome, hist hight ouchi ngmi ne.It urnto
l
ooki nt ot hosedar key esandhesmi les,justahal f
-
smile.Hel eansi nandpecksmyl ips, somet hingt hat
shoul dn’tbehappeni ngi nmyson’ spr esencebutI
don’tt hi
nkhecar es.
Kgosi
:“Youneedt
oleav
eOki
nawa.
”
Me:
“What
?”
Kgosi
:“Youneedt
oleav
ehi
m bef
orei
t’
stool
ate,
cut
al
lti
eswithhi
m.”
Me:
“Ican’
tdot
hat
,Ineed–‘
Gi
gi:
“Rumi
!”
Idon’tknowwhenhest oodupbuttur
ning.Iseehi
m
runni
ngt oher
.She’
spulli
ngabigsuit
casewi t
hher
securit
ydetai
lbehi
ndherwithmorebags.Whatthe
helli
sshedoinghere?Itur
ntoKgosi.
Me:
“Di
dyoudot
his?
!”
Kgosi:
“Don’
tscr
eam atmePoppy
,it
’sf
ory
ourown
good.Giv
emey ourphone.
”
Me:
“It
’sunt
raceabl
e”
Kgosi:“
I’
m putt
ingmynumberi n.I’
vegott
enyou
anotherI
Dandpasspor t
.I’v
ehiredajetwhi
chwi l
l
takeyoutherebecauseIdon’tt
rustthef
li
ghtyou’
re
bookedinto.I
’mjustwai
tingforamessagefrom the
pil
ot.
”
Allthi
sinfor
mationismaki ngmedi zzy
.Am I
supposedt otr
usthim andwhathe’ ssayi
ng?I
’m
try
ingtomakesenseofi tall.I
’m notadummy ,
Iget
thatmyl i
feandthatofmyl ovedonesi si
ndanger
,
butIfailt
ogettherootofi tall
.
Me:“
Idon’
tunder
stand.Whatt
hehel
li
sgoi
ngon?
WhywouldOkiwanttohar
m me?”
Kgosi:
“I’
l
lcometoyouinafewday s.There’
salr
eady
someonewaiti
ngforyouinZuni
ch,youraunt.I
’
ve
spokentoherandshe’
ll
ensureyou’
reallsaf
e.”
Me:“
You’
vej
ustmetme.Whyar
eyougoi
ngt
osuch
l
engt
hs?”
Kgosi:“
BecauseIlov
ey oubutcan’
tbewithyou
becauseI’m mar
ri
ed.It
’st
heleastIcandoformy
l
ovefory ou.
”
Heki ssesmyf oreheadt henbeckonsmet ofol
low
him.Igr abGigi
’swr i
standweal lfoll
owaf t
erhim.
Mymi ndisfoggy.DoesOki hat
emet hatmuch?I’ve
knownt hemansi nceIwasabout12soal lt
hese
years,he’sbeenpl ot
ti
ngt owipemyf amil
y?Ialso
thi
nkofSuko.Wedon’ tknowhowl ongthi
sisgoing
tolast,sowhowi lll
ookaf terhi
mi nmyabsence?
Ther e’
sonlyoneper sonIcant rustwi
ththattask:
Mpho.Yes, Sukoisagr ownmanbutNosi sti
llhas
him byt heball
.Heneedsasi tt
er.Someonehast o
bet herewhenshi thit
st hefanandIknowIcant rust
Mphot odeal wi
thit.I
’vefeltt
hev i
besbetweent hem,
Iknowhecar es.
Everythingisr eall
yblur r
yf rom here.Kgosi ki
ssesme
bri
eflyt henallofasuddenwe’ realreadyi ntheair
.
I’
mt ir
edbutIcan’ tsleep.Mymi ndi sjustt oo
occupi edandI ’mf ail
i
ngt omai ntaincont rolofi
ts
overthinking.I’
mr eminiscing,tryi
ngt opi ece
memor iestoget hersoIcanknowwhat ’sup.ThenI
rememberZur i’
sr oom whi chIhav en’treallygone
thr
ough.Ionl ygoi nt
her etocl ean,nev ersearched
thr
oughany t
hing.Whati ftherear ecluesi nthere
whichcanshedsomel ighti nt
owhat evermaybe
goingon?May beshel eftal et
ter,somephot ograph,
anything.Regr etov er
whel msmeandl eav esme
questioningmypastdeci si
ons.
Idon’
tknowhoworwhenImanagedt
osl
eepbutI
’
m
wakenbysomeoneshaki
ngme.I
t’
sRumi
who
smi
l
esatme.
Rumi:“
I’
m sor
ryPoppy
.Themandi
dn’
tgi
vemeany
choi
ce”
Il
ookatherconf
usedunt
ili
tcl
i
ckst
hatshe’
stal
ki
ng
aboutKgosi
.
Me:
“It
’sf
ine,
I’
m gl
ady
ou’
reher
e.”
Sheexhal
esi
nrel
ief
.She’sst
il
lst
andingbyme,ey
es
fi
xedonme.Isi
tupri
ghtandret
urnthestar
e.
Me:
“Any
thi
ngel
se?
”
Rumi
:“CanIsi
tony
ourl
ap?
”
Shecoversherfacewithherhandsafterandgiggles.
Il
augh,shaki
ngmyheadt henall
owhert o.She’s
l
uckyGigiisasl
eep,he’
dnev eral
lowthis.Ibr
ushher
hai
rwithmyhandaswer emai ni
nthesi l
ence.Idon’t
knowhowl ongisafewday sbecauseIneedt his
mant ocomeandsett herecordstr
aightforme.I
hatebei
nginthedark.
.
SUKOLUHLE
Thesi denextt omei scol dbutIcoul dhav eswor n
shesl eptnextt ome.Igr abmyphonet hat’
sunder
mypi llowt ocheckt het i
me, 02:30am.Whendi dNosi
l
eav e?Wehadanamazi ngni ght .Wemadeup
different lyt hi
st i
me, vi
athemeet i
ngofourpel v i
s
bonesandIsl eptwhilest i
llinher e.Iwashol dingher
ti
ght lyandhowshemanagedt oescapet hatbeat s
me.Ther eali
zationpingsmyhear t.DidNosi reall
y
l
eav eint heni ght?Igooutf orthebusi nesst hat
distur bedmysl eep,washmyhandsont hetap
out sidet hengobacki ntomyr oom.Iev enwashed
myf aceandI ’m coldnow, butIdon’ tcare.Itryher
phone.Thedev icetakesmest raightt ovoicemai l
.
I’
m goi ngcr azynow.Wher ei sshe?It r
ysear ching
throught het i
nIcoul dahome, f
indi ngnoone.I t
’s
notl ikeshecanhi desomewher ei nher e.Isigh,
sitti
ngont hebed.I ’
m nol ongersl eepynow, my
mi nd’sr acingwi ththought sofwhatmi ghthav e
happened.Thedoordoesn’ tlookt ohav ebeen
tamper edwi t
hsoi t’
sclearshe’ slef t.
Butt
hesamemi
ndi
sst
ubbor
n,f
ail
i
ngt
oseewhat
’s
ri
ghti
nit
seyesandchoosingtosidewi t
hthehear
t.
Shehadanemergencyandhadt oleave.Oncet
hat
si
nksinandIbel
i
eveit,
Igetint
ot hecoversand
sl
eep.
Thefi
rstthi
ngIdointhemorni
ngwhenthesun’s
ri
seni
st r
yherphoneagai
n.Thi
stime,i
tfor
tunat
ely
ri
ngsandIsighinr
eli
efwhenit
’sanswer
ed.
Me:
“Baby
,ar
eyouOK?Di
dyougethomesaf
e?”
Theconcerninmyvoicei
sclear
.Idon’tknowwhat
I’
l
ldoifshetel
lsmeotherwi
se.I’
llbl
amemy sel
fof
cour
seandIdon’tt
hinkI’
dli
vewiththeguil
t.
“
Baby
?”
Ever
ythoughtinmymi ndhal
ts.Thevoiceisdeep,so
deepthati
tsoundsli
keit’
svi
brati
ng.Iremovethe
devi
cefrom myeartochecki
fI ’
vedi
aledthecorrect
number.It
’sr
eall
yhers.
Me:
“Whot
hef
uckar
eyou?
”
Hi
m:“Whoar
eyoucal
l
ingmybi
tchbaby
?Ar
eyou
madboy
?”
Isni
cker
.Fi
rsthecal
l
sherabi
tcht
heni
nsul
tsmy
manhoodbycal
l
ingmeaboy
?He’
str
yingme.
Me:“Youl
ist
enher
eyoul
it
tl
eshi
t.Iwantmy
gi
rl
fr
iendsogiv
ehert
hedamnphone!
”
Hechucklesint
othephone,
pissi
ngmef
urt
herof
f.I
hearshuf
fli
ngtheni
t’
scalm.
Hi
m: “Ther
e’sadoucheherecl
aimi
ngyou’
rehi
s
gi
rl
fr
iend.Tell
thi
sli
tt
leboywhoIam andwhatyou
ar
etome. ”
Myhear
tsnowpal
pit
ates.Idon’
tthi
nkIwantt
ohear
t
hat
.Cal
lmeacowardbutIdon’tcare.
Nosi
:“Douche,t
hisi
sVusi
myman.Idon’
tknow
whatyouthi
nkwehadorhowyouhavemynumber
butI
’m hi
sbit
ch.”
‘
Vusi
’
:“Tel
lhi
myou’
remi
neandmi
neonl
y.
”
Nosi
:“I
’
myour
sandy
our
sonl
y.
”
‘
Vusi
’:
“Heardthatboy?Gof
ixsomepi
pesor
somet
hingplumber.
”
Hehangsuponmeandmyphonei
mmedi
atel
y
dr
opstothef
loor
.
Mychestf eelsl i
kei t
’scl osinguponmeandIcan’ t
seem t ocont rolmybr eat hi
ng.Thel umponmy
throati stoobi gbutIf indmy selfunabl etobr eat he.
Noneoft hi
smakessense.Ipi ckupmyphonet hat’
s
ont hef loort hent ryhernumber ; voicemai l
.My
handsar eshaki ng,myt hroatispai nfulbuti tdoesn’t
compar et ot hepai ninmychest .Igot oWhat sApp.I
hav eabusi nessaccountandper sonal one.She’ s
theonl ychati nt helatter.Iusual lycal lherort exther
viamessages.It rycalli
ngherf r
om t here,av i
deo
callbecauseI ’
llonlybel i
ev eitwhenIseei t.It
connect sandi nsteadofseei ngj ustherf ace,Iseea
bear d.Thebear dhasGr eyst randsbutbl ack
domi nates.Het henshi ftsthecamer aandat opl ess
Nosi appear s.Shoul dn’tshebeatwor k?
‘
Vusi
’
:“Youwantt
oseei
t,don’
tyou?
”
Heswi tchestothebackcameraandmyj awdrops.
Nosi i
snakedanddanci ngf
ort
hecamer a.She’
s
doingimmor althings,
bendi
ngandreveali
ngpartsI
thoughtwer eonlyforme.Mychestissti
ll
contracti
ngit.I
tfeelsl
ikeanat
tackofsomesor t
,
heartattackmay be?Idropmyphoneagai nasIfal
l
onmybackont hebed,holdi
ngmybel owmyleft
breastt
ight.Icanfeelmyhear tbreakingandt
he
painisi
ndescr i
babl
e.Thei mageisst uckinmymind,
Iblameitforthetearsthatcascadedownmy
cheeks.Theydon’tstopnomat t
erhowmuchI ’d
wantthem to,neit
herdoest hepaininmychestnor
doesthelumponmyt hroatshri
nk.
Nosi i
snaked, withanot hermannotev entwelve
hoursaf t
erwemadel ov e.Howcoul dshedot histo
me?Thegi fi
nmymi ndofwhatI ’
vewi tnessed
tor
turesme.I ’
m shaki nguncont roll
ablyunt i
lIcan’
t
keepitinanymor e.Iscream, notcaringaboutmy
neighborsorwhatany oneelsemi ghtthink.Ihavea
spli
tti
ngheadache, myv i
sionhasblur r
edandmy
eyesar eri
nging.Istillscream t
hough, lett
ingitall
out.Ithoughtwewer egood, It
houghtshel ovesme.
Howcoul dNosi dot histomet hough?
I
tfai
l
stomakeanysenset
ome.
.
POPPY
Quinnisholdingaboardt hathasournamesoni t
.
She’swearingaVi ol
etHabeshakemi swit
hhercurly
hairstyl
edback.Shest i
lll
ikeshernai
l
scolorf
ul,
rockingyel
l
owt hi
stime.Itfeel
sli
keyest
erdaywhen
weescapedt hi
splace,Zuripushi
ngusint
oashi p
wehadnoi deaofwher eitwasheaded.
Isighthenslowlywal ktoher.IhaveGigionmyback
whileRumi ispul
linghersuit
case.Idon’tknowwhy
she’snotleavi
ngt hattothesecurit
ydetail
butIdon’
t
ask.Herey esbulgeoutwhensheseesi tsme.She
dropstheboar dthenr unst
ome, suf
focati
ngmeina
ti
ghtembr ace.
Qui
nn:
“Ican’
tbel
i
evet
his!
”
She’
ssti
ll
squeezi
ngt
heli
feoutofmeasi
fIdon’
t
havesomeoneonmyback.
Qui
nn:
“Wher
e’sZur
iandwhoar
ethese?
”
Rumi
becomesf
orwar
dandi
ntr
oducesher
sel
f.
Rumi
:“I
’
m Rumi
”
Myaunt
’seyeswidenagai
n.She’
snotacry
ing
per
sonbutheremoti
onshavebetr
ayedher
.She
squeezesherhowshedidmewhil
eIputGigi
down.
Sheev enl
i
ftsherof
fthegr
oundandt
wirl
sher
around.
Quinn:
“Wow.Youcoul
dbar
elywal
kwhenIl
astsaw
you.Wher
e’sZur
i?”
Me:
“Shedi
ed.
”
Theey esagain.Thist
ime,thetear sfal
landshe
weeps.Ipullherinforanembr aceandbr ushher
backasshecr i
es.Thewomanr aisedusupafterour
parentsdi
edandt r
eatedusli
keherown.Thi ngs
weretoughbutwemanaged.If eelbadfornever
havingkeptcontactallal
ong.
Qui
nn:
“I’
m sor
ryf
ort
hat
.Ist
hisy
ourson?
”
She’
sbeamingl
i
keshewasn’tcr
yingami
nut
eago.
I
’veal
waysadmir
edherst
rengt
h.
Me:
“Yes.Hi
snamei
sGi
ven.
”
Qui
nn:
“Wher
e’shi
sfat
her
?”
Icl
earmyt
hroat
.
Me:
“Wecan’
tst
andher
eal
ldayaunt
ie.
”
Jetlaghasme.Ihav en’
tbeenonapl aneinages,j
et
neversothealmostfift
eenhour
sflighthas
exhaustedme.Wef oll
owherasshel eadshertoher
car.It
’sabakki
e,bet
terthanacarr
iagesoI ’
m happy.
Qui
nn:
“Poppy
,ther
e’sal
otweneedt
otal
kabout
.”
Inodwi t
hasigh.Notmuchhaschangedhere.
There’
sbeendev el
opmentsyesbutot
hert
hanthe
archi
tect
ure,
theplacest
il
llookst
hesametome.

*
***
*
Idi
dnoteditt
hisatal
lsoer
ror
sareexpect
ed.Iwas
i
nahurrytomeetthedeadl
i
ne.Bet
terl
atethannev
er,
ri
ght
?
FI
FTEEN
★★★★★
(
Aft
eroneweek)
POPPY

Quinnhasbeenwel comi ngofus.She’ sbeenf eeding

us,looki
ngaf t
erusandhasshownusar oundl ikeI
didn’tgr
owupher e.Iknowev er
ycor nerbecausel i
ke
Isaid,notmuchhaschanged.Gi gi haswar medupt o
herbutwhowoul dn’ t
,thewomani snat urall
yki nd
andmeek.She’ sf ullofloveandal way sspr eadingit.
There’salotthatwe’ vespokenaboutbutnot hing
aboutwhyexact l
yourl ivesareindanger .Sheal so
doesn’tknowhowl ongwe’ regoingt ostayher e.I’
ve
beencal l
i
ngKgosi butitnev erwentt hrough.Li ke
whydi dhegi v
emehi snumberi fhe’snotgoi ngt o
pickupwhenIcal l?Igett hathei smar ri
edandal lof
thatbutit’
snotl i
keI ’
m calli
ngasal over.I’
mj ust
ti
redofbei nginthedar k.He’ stheonl yonewhocan
shedsomel i
ghtintoal lthatishappeni ng.Ihat e
beinginthedar k.
Qui
nn:
“St
ressi
ngi
sn’
tgoi
ngt
ohel
p,y
ouknow.
”
Me:“Thisi
smyl i
feandthatofmyl
ovedonesont
he
l
ine.Ican’
tnotstr
ess.
”
I’
vebeenpr
otect
ingt
hem andIwon’tst
op.Thi
sti
me
Idon’
tonl
yoweKgosi myli
febutal
sothatofGi
gi
andRumi.
Quinn:“Di
dyoureadaboutthepl
anecr
ash?It
apparentl
yhappenedanhouraft
ert
akeoff
.”
Ialmostdropthecupofcof f
eeI’
m holding.Aplane
crash?Ihaven’tr
eadanythi
ng.Heck,Idon’tread.
Shegivesmeat abl
etandIskimthrought hearti
cle.
Ithappenedlastweek,onthesameni ghtwel ef
t.
Me:
“It
’st
hepl
anewewer
esupposet
otake.
”
Ifeel
myhat eforOki bl
ooming,growi
nghighert
han
askyscraper.I
t’
snodoubthe’sbehindit
.Howcould
he?Allthosepeoplediedbutforwhat
?Howcoul d
hebet hathear
tless?
Me:“Hereal
lywant
edtoki
llus.Imeanit
’swhyhe
wantedmetotakeGigi
wit
h.Hewant edtofi
nishus
but
…why ?”
Quinn:“That’
swhatI ’
m wonder
ingaswel
l.Your
si
sterdiedwhi l
einvol
vedwitht
hismanandnowy ou.
Hepr obablywouldhaveloomedhiswayi
ntoRumi’s
l
if
eaf tergett
ingri
dofy ou.
”
Me:
“I’
m goi
ngt
oki
l
lhi
m!”
Quinnt ouchesmyhandwhi chI’
vebeencl enching.I
hateOki !Thethoughtofhi m wit
hRumi isoneIdon’t
l
etlinger.Mylitt
lesister?No.It houghtI’dmadesur e
hedoesn’ tknowofherbutwhatQui nnissay i
ng
makessense.Hewasgoi ngtogetent angledwith
herwhensheget salittl
eolderlikewithme.I magine
amant hatoldwi t
hat hi
rteenyearold.Iwantt o
shi
eldherf rom thebadoft hiswor l
d.Fine,he
woul dn’
ttakeadv antageofhernowbutdef i
nit
ely
whenshe’ solder.Iwi shshedoesn’ tgrowbuti t’
snot
somet hingIcanpr event.She’ll
learnthewor ldonher
own.I ’
vetaughtherhowt osurviveandsomeot her
thi
ngsheragemat esdon’ tknow.
Myphonef
inal
l
yri
ngs,
itt
ookhi
mlongenough.
Me:
“Gi
vemesomet
hing!
”
Kgosi
:“Whatdi
dIsayabouty
oushout
ingatme?I
’
ll
beaty
ouupPoppy
.”
Ihuf
f.
Me:“
Butwhygi
vemey
ournumberi
fthephone
won’
tev
enri
ng?”
Kgosi
:“I
t’
sbeenaneventf
ulweek,
thi
ngshav
ebeen
cr
azy.Howareyouthough?”
Me:“Howdoyouthi
nkIam?I’mti
redofbei
ngi
nthe
dar
k.Nothi
ngmakessenseanymore.
”
Kgosi
:“Justbepat
ient
,alri
ght
?I’
l
lcomeseey
out
his
weekendthenwe’l
ltal
k.”
Me:
“You’
l
ltel
lmeev
ery
thi
ng?
”
Kgosi
:“Yesandmay
behav
eat
ast
eoft
hatgood
good.
”
Ihuf
f
Me:
“Idon’
thav
eti
mef
orj
okes.
”
Kgosi:“I
’
m notlaughing.Poppy, t
hismighttakel
ong.
Youmi ghtstayther
el ongerbecausewe’llhavet
o
waitforthedusttoset t
le.Butyourfr
eedom iswort
h
everyri
sk,OK?”
Me:
“Myf
reedom?
”
Kgosi:
“Yes.Ihavetogonowbuttakecar
e.Don’tgo
anywherewithouti
nfor
mingy
ouraunt.Nopi
ckingup
random cal
l
s.”
Me:
“Myphonei
sunt
raceabl
esodon’
twor
ry.
”
Kgosi:“Justdon’tPoppy.Onl
yanswermycal
lsand
thatofy ourfr
iendbutthat
’si
t.He’
sgoi
ngtot
ryand
contacty ou.Heknowsy ouweren’
tont
hatpl
ane.
”.
Me:“Andy
oukeepconf
usi
ngme.What
’sgoi
ngon
Kgosi
?”
Kgosi
:“I
’
llcal
lyou.
”
Yes,
hehungup.Igroaninfr
ustr
ati
on.Doest
his
manhav et
obesodi f
fi
cul
t?Idon’
tgetwhyhewon’
t
j
usttel
lme,oratl
eastgi
vemeahi nt.
He’sonl
yemphasi
zi
nghowmuchourl
i
vesar
ein
dangerandt
hat
’sj
usti
t.
Ical
lMpho, hopi
ngthathe’l
lpi
ckupt hi
sunknown
number .Ihatetoburdenhimli
kethis.I
’dsai
dI’
ll
cal
l
himlasttimebutnev ergottoi
t.Iwastooconsumed
i
nt r
yingtor eachKgosi.
Mpho:
“MphoBl
oom,
hel
l
o?”
Me:
“Hi
,i
t’
sPoppy
.”
Mpho:
“HeyPop.What
’sup?
”
Mpho:“
Not
hing.I
’
vebeent
ryi
ngt
ocal
lyou.Ar
eyou
OK?”
Me:
“YesIam.Ar
eyou?
”
Mpho:
“Itcan’
tbeeasy
,cani
t?Isawt
her
esi
due.
”
NowI
’
m conf
used.
Me:
“What
?”
Mpho:
“Ofy
ourhouse.I
twasdemol
i
shed.
”
Me:
“What
?!”
Thatont opofwant ingt okil
lme.IthinkofZuri’
s
room andmyhear tbreaks.Itfeel
slikeshe’sbeen
declareddeadal loveragai n.Ican’
thelpthetears.
Thisisn’tev enaboutt hatveryexpensivel
oungesuit
ormycl ot hes.Thatroom is…orwast heonly
sentiment althi
ngint hathouseandhet ookthat
from me.I fIhadn’tbroughtt heduffl
ebagwi thme,I
wouldhav elostthatmoneyt oo.Butthat’
stheleast
ofmyworri
esnow.Icoul
dn’
tthr
owherapar
tyand
nowthi
s.
Rumi
:“I
sev
ery
thi
ngOK?
”
Il
ookatherwhi l
ewipingmyt earstai
nedfaceand
nod.Myheartisbreaki
ngr i
ghtnow.Okireal
ly
pri
ckedwhereithurtsthemost .Heki
ll
edZuriagai
n
andI’
ll
neverforgi
vehimf orthat.
Mpho:
“Poppy
?I’
m sor
ryaboutt
hat
.”
That’
swhenIr
emembert
hatI
’
m st
il
lont
hephone
wit
hhim.
Me: “
It
’snotyourfault.Ij
ustcan’
tbeli
ev ethathas
happened.Whatwi ll
Igobackt herefor?It
’sonlyyou
andSukobutt helatt
erwant snothi
ngt odowi thme.
There’
snot hi
ngleftf
ormet herebutIdon’ thavea
l
ifehere.Idon’
twantt ohaveal i
fehere.”
Mpho:“You’
ll
staywithmewheny oucomet henwe’
l
l
f
igur
eitoutfr
om there.You’r
emyfr
iendPoppyand
I
’l
lal
way shaveyourback.”
Me:
“Thanky
ou.
”
Thest
ubbor
ntear
skeepf
all
i
ngmaki
ngRumi
also
cr
yev
ent
houghshedoesn’
tknowwhyIam.
Me:
“Cany
oudomeaf
avor
?”
InowrememberwhyIcall
edhi
m.Mymi nd’
sin
tur
moil
,hear
tinshambl
essoI’
m noti
nagood
space.
Mpho:
“Any
thi
ng”
Hi
sv oi
cegi
vesouthe’
spai
ned.Theman’
sgenui
nel
y
f
eel
ingforme.
Me:“PleasegocheckonSukoforme.I
’
m worr
ied
abouthim,moresobecauseI’
m sof
araway
.Ineed
youtomakesur ethathe’
sOK.
”
Mpho: “
I’
m onlydoingitforyoubecausey
ourf
ri
end
i
simpossible.Thatgir
lreall
yhashim byt
he
t
esti
cles.
”
Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“Youmeanbal
l
s?”
Icanal
mostseehi
mfl
i
nchi
ngatt
hat
,suchapr
ude.
Mpho:
“Comeon.
”
Ichuckl
eagai
n.He’
smanagedt
ocheermeupf
or
t
hemomentandIappr
eci
atet
hat
.He’
ssuchagood
f
ri
end.
Me:
“Al
ri
ghtl
ove.Wi
l
lyoudot
hatf
orme?
”
Mpho:
“Yes”
Me:“Andregularl
y,l
iketwoorthr
eet i
mesaweek
evenifhedeemsi tannoyi
ng.I
’
llgiv
ey ouhi
snumber
soyoudon’tjustdoitphysi
cal
l
y .
”
Hesi
ghs.
Mpho:
“Fi
ne.
”
Me:
“Thanky
ou.
”
Mpho:
“How’
smyl
i
ttl
eguy
?Imi
sshi
m.”
Me: “
He’sfi
ne,outrunni
nginthey ard.AuntQuinn
l
ikesplayi
ngwithhim.Shehasapl aygr
oundint he
yardsothey’
realwaysoutsi
dewi t
hsomeot herkids
i
nt hecommuni t
y.Shehasacr èche.”
Mpho:
“Ah,
soundscool
.Tel
lhi
m Imi
sshi
m.”
Me:
“I’
l
lrel
ayt
hemessage.
”
Wetal
kfurt
hermor
euntil
myai r
ti
meisdepl
eted.
Rumihugsmeti
ghtaf
terthat
.Shegi
vesthe
warmesthugs.Sheki
ssesmycheeksaf
terand
gi
ggles.
Rumi
:“I
t’
ll
beOKsi
s.We’
reOK.
”
Me:“Goodt
hingi
swe’real
ltoget
herandwhenwe
gobacktoSA,we’
l
lli
veli
kethat.
”
Shebeams.
Rumi
:“Wewi
l
l?”
Inod.
Me: “
You’l
lgettobeanormalkid,got
oschool and
makef r
iends.We’l
lgett
ogotot hemal
l t
ogether
thenyoucanev enhaveaFacebookorInstagr
am
account.
”
Rumi:
“ That’
s…that
’sgood.I
’
m gl
adI’
lll
i
vewi
thy ou
andGigi,gettoseehi
m ever
yday
.Ican’
twai
tforus
togoback. ”
Shehugsmeagai
nandgoesout
.Isi
gh.
.
SUKOLUHLE
Iignorethebur ni
ngasIcont inuescr ubbing,feeli
ng
thepeel ofmyski nbutnotev enconv i
nced.It ’
sbeen
meev erydaybutt hetaintIf eel i
snot hi
ngcl oset o
ceasing.Idon’ tstopt r
yingt hough.Thewhol et hi
ng
i
sj usttwistedt ome.Idon’ tthi nkabouti t,
Irefuset o.
Awhol ebl andedmei nhospi tal.Iapparentlyhada
panicat t
ackt henanambul ancewascal ledf orme.
Sasasay stheyhadt obr eakmydoori nor dert o
comeandassi st.Thatwasf iv eday sback.Idi dn’t
staylong, gotreleasedt hef ollowi ngday.Ihav en’t
criedsincet hen.
Itcomesbacki ntomymi ndagain,Iheave.Sher eal
l
y
didcheat.Ican’
twr apmyheadar oundwhatIsaw.
Nosi hassomeonecal li
ngherabi tchandj ustl
ike
thatshethrewusaway .Iremembert hecondi t
ionI
sawheri nandal mostpuke.Iscrubmy sel
fmor e
furi
ouslysoIcangetr i
dofherf il
th.I’
m disgusted
withmy sel
f.Themanwasn’ tj
ustol dbuthehada
bell
yandbr eastsandshewast here.Shewasnaked,
onhisbedj ustafterwe’dmadel ove.Yeahneh.
Someoneknocksvigorousl
yonmydoor.If
eel
ref
reshedbuti
t’
sonlyphysi
cal
.I’
mreal
l
ybattl
i
ng
withthereali
zationt hatI ’
vebeenplayed.Iwast ed
twoy earsofmyl ife,introducedhertomyf amily,
stol
eaphoneandgav eherast ackfr
om mymoney
butallforwhat?Iwasl oyal,
lovedheranddi dmyal l
tomakeherhappy .Istilll
oveherwhichbr eaksmy
heartbutI’m done.Ibl ockedhernumber ,deleted
everypictur
eofherandmeandev enpackedal lher
thi
ngsi nablackr efusepl asti
cbag.They ’
reina
corner,j
ustwai t
ingf orhert ogracemewi thher
presence.
Theknocki
ngcont
inues,maki
ngmedizzy
.Iwr
apa
towel
aroundmywaistthengoopen.
Mpho:
“ThankGod!
”
Hepusheshimsel
finsi
dethenscr uncheshisnose
upwhil
elooki
ngaround.Ihuff
.I’m hear
tbroken,
I
don’
thaveti
meforhisself
-r
ighteousself.
Me:
“Whatdoy
ouwant
?!”
Mpho:
“Icamet
ocheckupony
ou.
”
Me:
“I’
mfi
ne,
asy
oucansee.
”
Hegi
vesmeal
ookov
ert
hent
urnsaway
.It
hinkhe’
s
onl
yreal
i
zingnowthatI
’m naked.Ir
emov
ethetowel
andhescreams.Whendidhelookatmeagai
n?
Me:
“What
?”
Mpho:“Atl
eastputonsomet
hing,
traumat
izi
ngmy
i
nnocentey
es.”
Ichuckl
e.
Me:“We’
rebot
hmenandi
t’
snot
hingy
oudon’
t
hav
e.”
Mpho: “
Thatdoesn’
tmeanIwantt
oseey
our
nakedness.
”
Me:
“Soy
oudon’
twantt
o?”
Iwalkt owardshi
m unti
lI’
m st
andi
nginfr
ontofhi
m.
Hest epsback,moreli
kestumblesbackwhi
le
coveringhiseyeswit
hhishands.He’
stoodamnold
forthis.Il
augh.
Me:
“Real
l
y?”
Mpho:
“St
op!
”
Il
aughandl
ethi
m be.There’
snotmuchspacefor
onetomovear
oundhere.Theroom i
ssmall
aft
erall
.
Me:
“GooutsoIcanf
ini
shupher
e.”
I’
veneverseensomeonescur ryoutthatfast.Ineed
tobuysomeDet tolsoIcanbat hwithit
.Ineedt o
callZel
dasoshecangi vemenumber sofher
prophetfri
end.Ineedhert oprayforme, cl
eanseme
orsomet hi
ng.Ijustdon’twanttofeelli
kethis
anymore.ZeldawassadwhenIhadt ocancel our
plansbutwer escheduled.Shesti
llt
hinksI’
m wi th
Nosi.
WhenIcomebackf r
om gettingri
dofmybat hi
ng
water,she’
shere.She’swear i
ngthatwi gIgother,
short
estshort
swi thabr al
et.Shel ooksl i
keaPoppy
i
ncarnateri
ghtnow.Butunl ikePoppy ,herski
mpy
cl
othesmakesherl ookl i
keahar lot.Idon’tseethe
beautyanymore,Iseef i
l
th,disgustev en.
Igoint
omyroom,wipemybasi
nandputitaway.I
thengr
abt
heplast
icwit
hherst
uffandgoout.
Me:
“Youhav
egut
sneh”
Mphoisl
eaningbyhiscar
,smokingaci
gar
ett
ewhi
l
e
l
ooki
ngateveryt
hingunf
oldIguess.
Me:
“Yout
hinky
oucancomeher
eaf
ter
…you’
re
br
ave”
Nosi
:“Baby,t
hatwasami
stake.Vusi
andI
…you’
re
t
heoneIl ov
e.”
Iscof
f.
Me:“Thi
sisal
lyourst
uff
,takei
tandgetoutofmy
l
if
e.”
Thosedoeeyeswident
henshel
aughs.Shemust
thi
nkthi
sisajoke.
Nosi
:“Baby
,comeon.I’
m onl
ywithhi
mfort
he
money.We’vebeent
oget
herfort
woyear
sand–
Me:“OutNosi
pho,Iwon’
trepeatmysel
f.Youdon’
t
exi
sttome,Idon’
twantyouhere.We’r
edone!”
Shetri
esgrabbi
ngmywristbutIsl
apherhandaway.
I
’vescrubbedmysel
fwaytoomuchf orhert
otai
nt
meagai n.
Nosi
:“You’
rebei
ngr
idi
cul
ous.Cany
ounotseewhyI
di
dthat?”
Me: “
You’r
enolongertheNosiIknew,y ou’
ve
changed.You’
rewill
i
ngtoopenthoset highsf
or
anyone,j
ustbecauseofthei
rwall
et.Therewas
Mpho’
sfri
endthenthatgr
andpaandwhoknows
whoel
se.Iref
usetodateaharl
ot.Iwon’
t.Nowgo”
Nosi
:“I
’
m notgoi
ngany
wher
e.”
Shet r
iesmebywal kingt oMYdoort hengoing
i
nsideMYr oom wi t
ht heplasti
c.Thatset smeoffso
Ii
gnor eMpho’sshakingheadt hengoi nt
othehouse.
Igr
abherdamnwr i
stbef oreshesitsonmybedand
pul
l herout
.Ipullherlikethatunti
lwe’reatthegate,
i
gnor i
ngherscreamsandwhi mpers.Ithrowherout
andsheal mostfall
s.
Me:
“Don’
tev
ersety
ourf
eether
e.”
Igobackf ort
heplast
ictofi
ndherst
il
lonthatone
spot.It
hrowtheplast
icather,
hert
earst
ainedface
notdoinganythi
ngtome.
I
’
m sodonewi
thher
.

*
***
***
*
I
t'
snotnoony
et,
sodel
i
ver
edaspr
omi
sed.
NB:60SHARESONTHISPOSTGUARANTEESA
BONUS.I
T'LLHAVEOKI
,NOSIORMPHOPOVS.
SI
XTEEN
★★★★★★
MPHO

Irefusedtointerveneevent hought heinnerself

want edmet oo.I’dbelyi
ngi fIsayIwasn’ thappy
seeinghim handl eherl
ikethat .Thatgir
l hasbeena
thorninhisli
fef orawhile,whichheobv iously
mistookforlovebutI ’
m gladt hat’sover.Iknow
Poppywi l
lbet oowhenIt el
lher .He’sheav i
ngwhen
hecomesback, hisf
oreheadf urrowed.Hecomes
strai
ghttomet henstandsinf rontofme.
Suko:
“Ineedaci
gar
ett
e”
Me:
“You’
renotgoi
ngt
osmoke.
”
Suko:“
Ineedtodi st
ractmymi nd,don’
ty ougetit
?
I’
vebeentr
yingnott othinkofherbutshedeci dedto
comehereandr emindmeofhowbl i
ndedIwas!
Poppywasright
, Ishouldn’thavegonef orher
.”
Hi
ssighi
spai
nful
.Hesi
tsont hever
andaandbows
hi
sheadonhi
sbendedknees.Icanseehi
m
breathi
ngbutst andingherewhil
ehe’scr
yingmakes
mef eelbad.I’
m al i
ttl
edetachedfr
om myemotions
butsy mpathyisstil
lwithme.
Me:
“It
’sabl
essi
ngi
ndi
sgui
se,
youknow”
Heli
ft
shi
sheadtolookatme,
hischi
nst
il
lrest
ing
bet
weenhi
sknees.
Suko:“Whatis?Thef
actt
hatsheplayedme?Fact
thatIwasaf ool
andi
gnor
edt hesi
gnsthatsl
apped
myf ace.Youknowwhendidshestar
tcheati
ng?”
I
t’
sar het
ori
calquest
ionbutIst
il
lshakemyhead.He
needstoventandIpromisedPoppyI’
ll
lookaf
ter
hi
m.
Suko: “Ayearint
oourr elationshi
p.Ifel
titMpho.I
feltthatsomeonehadbeeni ntherebutIgav eher
thebenef i
tofthedoubt .Nowwe’ veevengone
wr ongandI ’
m scaredtot hinkthatshemi ghthave
givenmesomet hing.I
’
ll probablyhangmy selfi
fshe
did.”
Me:
“Whydi
dyoust
ayf
orsol
ong?
”
Hechuckl
esbi
tt
erl
y.
Suko: “Shenev ermademef eel i
t.Shewast here
whenIgohookedondr ugsandsomet imes, I’
dev en
gett hemoneyf r
om her.Shehel pedme.Sheand
Poppydi d.Iov er
camet headdi cti
onandshewas
sti
ll t
her e.Shewast herewhenIcoul dn’tbuyhera
bir
t hdaygi ftandwhenIcoul donl ybuyhera
streetwi set woonourmont hsar y.Thenal l
ofsudden
shechanged.Shest artedbei ngdemandi ng,acti
ng
shadybutIst i
l
l l
ovedher.Iwasaf oolneh.Imean
fi
rst l
y,shesl eptwi thsomeoneel seormor epeopl e
andev enspatonme.Poppyt oldme, youdidbutI
guessIwant edtoseei tformy self.Myhear tisin
shambl esmanandIdon’ tseemy selfgetti
ngov erit
.
Ihat emy selfmor eforstil
llov inghert hrought hi
s.”
IwishIcanrel
atetothisandmay beoff
ersome
wordsofcomfortbutIcan’ t
.Notwheni tcomesto
rel
ati
onshi
ps.I
’m acluelessthir
ty-
twoyearold.I
’
ve
neverbeeni
nar el
ati
onshi p,notr
eall
y.
Me: “
Idon’tknowmuchaboutwhaty ou’r
egoing
thr
oughbutIdor emembersomet hingSteveHar v
ey
oncesaid.Thatyoushoul
dn’
tthinkaboutt heyears
youwastedwi thsomeonebutratherthatyouwon’t
wast
emor
e.You’
l
lgetov
ert
his.
”
Hechuckl
es.
Suko: “Andhowwoul dy ouknow?You’v eneverbeen
withagi rl,
hav ey ou?Youdon’ tknowthepai nofa
brokenhear t.Youknownot hi
ngaboutwhatI ’m
goingt hroughr i
ghtnow, howmuchi thurts.I
’m
angryman, mor eatmy selff
orhavingstayed.I
sacrif
icedmyf r
iendshipforher,movedoutofa
betterspacet othis.Ievenstoppedbeingahawker
andhav enoi deahowI ’
m goingtopayr enthere.
Whati fIdon’ tgetagi g?Peoplewon’talway shave
brokenappl iances. ”
Me:
“Takei
tonest
epatat
ime.
”
Hesighst
henstandsup, st
ret
chinghisarms.Idon’
t
misshowhismusclesflexbutIquickl
ylookaway.
Whatthehel
li
swr ongwi t
hme?Icannotbe
soundi
ngli
keagirlr
ightnow,Tri
xybetterchi
ll
.
Suko:
“Getmeoutofher
e.”
Me:
“Wher
edoy
ouwantt
ogo?
”
Suko:
“Ineedsomemot
ivat
ionsoy
ourpl
acewi
l
ldo.
”
Thisisastranger
equest,def
ini
tel
ynotwhatI
expectedbutIseemyselfrel
ent
ing.Idon’
tknowwhy
thi
sexcitesme.Thethoughtofhiminmypl acet
hat
i
s.
Me:
“MustIgety
ourdoorf
ory
ou?
”
Hescof
fs.
Suko:
“Ishoul
dasky
out
hatsi
r.
”
Ichuckl
eandgot
omyowndoor
.
.
NOSI
PHO

I’
m angry.I’
m angryatSukoandathowhet hr
ewme
outlikeapieceofr ubbish.Howcoul dhe?Idi dtry
call
ingthepastweekt onoav ai
landIguessi tnever
crossedmymi ndthathe’ sblockedme.I’
m not
mov edthough.I’l
lgocheckonhi mt omorrow.He
probablydidallofthattoi mpressMphosohecan
scoreussomemoney .IrememberwhenIwentout
l
astt imewithCain.Mphowast heonebuy ingandI
wasal soleti
nont hef actthathe’stheri
chestoft he
squad.Theyappar entl
yonl yf uvkwithhim because
ofthat.Iwantedhi mf ormy selfunti
lIsawhi m with
Poppy .Ofcourset hatbishwoul dgethimf ir
st.I
don’tknowwhat ’
supwi thhert hathasal lt
heseguy s
swooni ngoverher .I
si tbecauseshe’ slightskinned
wit
hnat ur
alcurlyhair?Isitherbody ?Imeanher
voi
cei sgroggyandsheassoci ateswit
hcr i
mi nalsso
what ’
sitwithher ?Ihatet hatshet akesallshine.The
onlyreasonIst uckwi thSukot hr
ought hewor stwas
becauseofher .I’vehadhi m eat i
ngoutoft hepal m
ofmyhand, doingany thingt opleasemeandnow
thi
s?Iwashur tbyhi sbehav iorandnowI ’
m angr y
whichi swhyI’m here.
Of
fi
cer
:“Yousai
dyouwantt
oopenacasema’
am?
”
Me:“Yes.I
’
dli
ket
oopenacaseagai
nstmy
boy
fri
end.”
Hestaresatmeboredl
y,si
l
ent
lyt
ell
i
ngmet
o
cont
inue.Icl
earmythr
oat.
Me:
“Hehi
tme.
”
Of
fi
cer
:“What
’st
henameofy
ourboy
fri
end?
”
Me:
“Sukol
uhl
eMncwabe”
Offi
cer
:“Tel
lmeexact l
ywhathappened.Ineedto
knowhowi tst
artedandhowfarhewentsi nceI
don’
tseeanyinjuri
es.
”
Histoneisunwel comi ngandf orasecond, I’
m
temptedt ogetupandl eavethispetti
ness.However
,
Idon’tchickenout.Thest oryeasilyf
lowsasi fi
t’
s
premeditatedandIev enment i
onMphosi ncehewas
ther
eandwi tnesseditall
.Hewr i
tesi
tdownwhi le
noddingunt i
lI’
vefini
shedmynar rati
on.
Of
ficer
:“Sot
osum t
hisup,
hebeaty
oubecausey
ou
br
okeupwi t
hhi
m?”
Me:
“Yes”
Of
fi
cer
:“Andi
tonl
yhappenedonce,
today
?”
Me:
“Yes.
”
Offi
cer:“
Whatharm occur
redtoyou?Ri
ghtnowI
onlyhaveyourwordandI’
m notaboutt
owastest
ate
resour
cesoverlov
erssquabbl
es.”
Me:
“Hedi
dn’
ttouchmyf
ace.
”
Offi
cer:
“Andthi
sguywhowasther
ewheni
t
happeneddi
dn’tdoany
thi
ng?
”
Me:“No.Hedidn’
tgeti
nvol
vedbecausel
i
key
ou’
ve
j
ustsai
d,lov
erssquabbl
es.
”
Of
ficer
:“Doyouknowt
hati
t’
sacr
imet
oli
etoan
of
fi
cerofthelaw?”
He’sfr
ustrat
ingme.Igett hatI
’mlyingbuthowdoes
heknowt hat?I
’vebeenlyingtoSukof orayearand
he’
snev erfi
guredmeout .I’
veli
edtomyf amily
aboutalotofthings,
incl
udingmyj obdescri
ption
butnoonef i
guredmeout .
Me:
“Ar
eyouaccusi
ngmeofl
yi
ng?
”
Off
icer
:“No,
justputt
ingitoutthere.Whatpr
oofdo
youhavetosupportyourclai
ms? ”
Me:
“Thebrui
sesar
einmyt
orso.Ican’
ttakeof
fmy
t
opinf
rontofaman.”
Offi
cer :“
Idon’
texpecty outoo.I ’
l
l cal
lafemal e
offi
cer.She’l
lobserve,takepicturesandwr i
tea
report.Wedon’ttakegenderbasedv i
olencelight
lyi
n
thi
scount ryandifyourboy fr
iendi sguil
ty,he’l
lbe
punished.Hehasnor ighttoputhi shandsony ou,
regardlessofwhaty ou’vedone.”
Inod.He’
ll
payfort
his.I
fheapol
ogi
zesandst
ops
thi
sacti
ng,I
’l
ll
eti
tpass.
Myphoneri
ngswhenI’
m walki
nghome.It
akeasi
gh
whenIseewhoi
tisandanswer.
Me:
“Heydaddy
”
Vusi
:“Wher
ear
ey ou?BecauseI
’
m par
kedbyy
our
gat
eandIdon’
tseeyou.”
Me:
“Iwasatt
hepol
i
cest
ati
onbutI
’
m comi
ng.
”
Vusi:
“Ibroughtyoumorni
ngaf t
erpil
ls,
bett
ermake
sureyoutakethem.I
’l
ll
eav et
hem withyoursi
ster
.
Didyougetthebanknotif
icat
ion?Isentyou
something.
”
Icheckmymessagesqui
ckl
y.‘
+8000i
ntosav
ings
account
’
Me:
“I’
veonl
yseeni
tnow,
thanky
ou.
”
Vusi:“
Buysomethi
ngni
ce,newunder
wear
specif
ical
l
yandgetawaxdown.Iwanti
twi
thno
stubbl
e.”
Me:
“Yesdaddy
.”
HehangsuponmeandIsi gh.I
’l
lbehappyonce
Sukospendsatl
eastani
ghtinacell
.Iwanthi
mt o
payforhowhetr
eatedmethismorni
ng.Fir
sthi
s
fr
iendscometomyhomeandhav etheaudacit
y,
gutstosl
apandspitonmethenhethrowsmeout
l
ikesomerubbi
sh.Heevenputmystuffint
oarefuse
bag.
Idon’ tgetwhat ’
st hef ussabout .Ifoundsomeonet o
prov i
def ormewher ehef ailed.Asmyboy fri
end,did
heexpectI ’
mj ustgoi ngt ost i
ckwi t
hhim whenhe
doesn’ twork?Yes, he’shandsome.He’ st hekindy ou
takepi ctur
eswi thandspr eadt hem alloversocial
medi a.He’stheonewho’ shandy ouhol dinpubl i
c,
claiminghi minf rontofenv iousgi rl
swho’ dkillf
ora
chancewi thhim.Tot opi tall,he’sbetterinbedt han
allofmymi nistersoff inancel essCai n.Theguy
doest r
yandhi spackagei sbiggersoIguesst hat’
s
whatmakeshi m bet terthanSuko.Agi rlhastodo
whatshegott osur vive.Ican’taf fordbeingseenas
al oser.Sukolov i
ngmesomuchj ustmadei teasy
formet oplayhi m.Idi dlov ehi m atsomepoi ntbut
thenIsawhowmuchher eal l
ywasi nt
ome.Theguy
wor shippedt hegroundIwal kedon, li
teral
lyobeyed
meandt hatturnedmeof f
.Hedi dn’ttakecharge,
al
way sbeggi ng.Hesuckedupt omesoIt hought
fvckitandj ustdidme.It houghtguy sknowwhen
someone’ sbeeni ntheirgirl
s;Sukoseemedcl uel
ess.
AboVusi di
dn’tsayany thingbecauseour
arrangementi spret
tysimpl e.Theyhav enosayi n
whom Ient ertai
n.Igivet hem sex,theygi v
eme
money .I
t’sreall
ythatsimpl e.
.
OKI
NAWA

Thosewhol oveandknowmecal lmet hedevi

l’
s
secondborn.Idon’tgiv
eadamnaboutany one
exceptmyself.I
’minabusinessthatrequi
resyouto
beheart
less,courageousandrut
hless.Youcan’tbe
att
achedtoany onenorcanyouaf f
ordt ol
etanyone
cl
oser.
ImetPoppywhenshewasat enderyetcuri
ousl
it
tl
e
gi
rl
.IwasbusywithZuri
whom Igott oknowi st
he
onl
yresponsi
blef
orthel
itt
leone’scuri
osit
y.Any
way,
IknewZur
ihadtogowhenshestart
edgrowi
ngon
me.Lovemessesyouup,Iknowt
hatsoIhadto
maketheprobl
em goaway.
ItookcareofPoppy, l
ookedoutandafterherfor
Zuri’
ssake.Thenshemadeamov eonme, Irel
ented
andourar r
angementbegan.She’salooseendt hatI
needt ogetri
dof.Hermi stakewasgi
vingint
o
Daniel’
s.Thebastar
dwassupposet ogetr i
dofher
onmybehal fbuthegott akenbywhateverhasme
bytheclawsandi sforci
ngmet owipeheroff.Ineed
to.
Loco’svoi
cedisr
uptsmef rom themy r
iadt
houghts
runni
ngthroughmymi nd.Iletgooftheremnantsof
abrokenwhiskyglass,
notev enwinci
ngont hepai
n
i
nfli
ctedbythegl
ass.I’
m mad.
Me:
“What
?”
Loco:
“We’
vel
ostf
ourment
oday
.”
Ist
andupaggr avated.Thi
shasbeenhappeni
ngal l
weekandI’
m begi nningt
oquesti
onhiscompetency.
Igrabhi
m bythecol l
arandpressmynoseonhis.He
doesn’
tbotheryankinghimsel
ffr
ee.
Me:“
You’rebegi
nni
ngt
oannoyme!Howt
hehel
ldi
d
t
hathappen?”
Loco:“
We….We…wef
oundt
hem shot
,al
lbet
ween
theey
essi
r.
”
HecoughswhenIl etgoofhi m ashef all
sont he
fl
oor .Myshoeat tackshi sribs, getti
ngmor eangry
withev erykick.I’
vebeenl osingal otofmenl atel
y.
8m notst upid,Iknowwho’ scausi ngt hisbutnoneof
ourst rat
egieshav ebeenabl et ocount eracthis.I
t’
s
l
ikehe’ salway stwost epsaheadbecausenoneof
ourt rapshav ewor ked.You’ dt hinkwithouthi s
father’sprotecti
on, he’dbeeasi lyaccessi bl
ebutno.
I’
vehear dhiswi feist heonewi t
ht hebr ainsnow
coupl ethatwi t
hhi sfatherinl aw.He’ saf or
cet obe
reckonedwi t h.
Istopkicki
nghi
m whenIgett
ir
edt
henov
ert
hrow
everyi
tem onmytabl
e.
Me:
“Getout
!”
Igr
oanwhenhe’ sout
.Thismancan’
tbeso
i
mpossi
ble.Iknowkil
li
ngPoppywil
lhur
thim,eveni
f
i
t’
sati
nybitbuthiswifeandki
ds?That
’swherehe’
l
l
l
oseit.Butthef i
ghtwon’tbeeasy .I
t’
salosi
ngbatt
le.
I
’m notstupidnoram IweakbutIknowmyl imi
ts.
Heprobablyant i
cipat
esmyev er
ymov esowhatI
havetothinkofi swhathethinksIwon’t
.Idon’
tthi
nk
hecanpr edictwhatIwon’tdo.It
’smakingmyhead
hur
tjustthinkingofit
.
ButIwi
l
lnotgi
veup.
.
MPHO

Me:
“You’
vehadenough.
”
Itr
ytaki
ngt hebott
lefr
om theshort
ermanbuthe
doesn’
tletme.Hechuckleswhileshaki
nghi
shead.
Hecanbar elyst
and.Heburps.
Suko:
“Thi
s…i
s…exact
lywhat
…Ineeded”
Heswingsthebot
tl
eweakl
yintheairt
hent
akesa
gul
p.Ishoul
dn’
thavel
ethi
m dr
ink.
Thefi
rstt
hingIdidwhenwearri
vedherewasoff
er
hi
m somef oodthenhewantedatourofmyhouse.
Mosewentbackt oP.E.SoI
’
m aloneagai
nifwe
don’tcountmyhel pers.Thisbighousedoesget
l
onelybutIwor ktoohar dtonot i
ce.Af
terIshowed
hi
m ev er
ycor ner,hewant edtochi l
li
nthebar.Ihad
aconf er
encecal lthatlast
edaboutanhouraf ter
whichItookashower .WhenIcameback, hewas
al
readydr unk.Hedi dn’tstopthoughandev enfor
ced
someoft heal cohol i
ntomyt hroat.
Suko:
“It
’snotmaki
ngmef
eel
bet
tert
hough.
”
Hecanalsoswi
tchbet
weensoberanddrunkina
snap.Onemomenthe’
ssl
urr
ingandthenexthe’
s
fi
ne.
Suko:
“Myl
egsmi
ghtgi
veuponme”
Hest umbl
esbacktotheli
vingroom wi
thmeonhi s
tai
l.Hesti
l
lhasthebott
leofcirochedoesn’
tseem
towanttoletgoof.Heputsitonhisl
apwhenhe
sit
s.
Suko:
“Youcansi
tcl
oser
,Idon’
tbi
te.
”
Hepatsthespacenextt ohi
m andIgulp.Idon’
t
t
hinkI
’l
lbeablet ositi
nsuchaproxi
mity.Sukojust
makesmef eelsomet ypeofway.I
t’
san
i
ndeci
pherabl
ef eel
ingI’
drat
hernotexplor
e.Ifel
tit
t
hef
ir
stt
imeIsawhi
m allt
opl
ess.It
’sani
maget
hat
r
emai
nsembeddedv
ivi
dlyi
nmymi nd.
Me:
“I’
mfi
neher
e.”
Hechucklesthenmovesunt
ilhi
sthighist
ouching
mine.Ihavetofi
ndawaytobreathe.Ther
e’ssome
shotofelect
ri
ccurr
entIf
eelf
rom thecontactbutI
i
gnoreit.
Suko:
“Wantsome?
”
Ishakemyhead.Heshr
ugst
hent
akesasi
p.
Me:
“Don’
tyout
hinky
ou’
vehadenough?
”
Suko:
“Youdon’
tlookl
i
keyou’
vehadenough.I
sn’
t
thi
smypit
ypart
y?You’r
esupposedt
oindul
ge.
”
Me:
“Notwheny
ou’
redr
inki
ngl
i
ket
his.
”
Heshr
ugs.
Suko:
“Ohwel
l
.”
Istandup.Ican’
thandlebei
ngthi
sclosetohim.I
canstil
lfeel
thewarmthfrom wher
eourthighshad
touchedthough.I
t’
scrazy.
Me:
“Ar
eyousl
eepi
ngov
er?
”
Suko:“
I’
m notsleeping.I
’m goi
ngtosither
eand
dri
nkmysorrowsaway .Thatbi
shdidme.Heh, t
o
thi
nkIevencri
edl i
keawi dowaftershespatonme.
Wedot hi
ngs,yoh.”
Isni
cker
.
Suko:“
Yout hinki
t’
sfunny?Imagi
neIbl
amedmy sel
f
fort
hatinsult
inggest
ure.Yahno,
whatevershef
ed
mewasst r
ong.”
Hey
awns.
Suko:
“Laywi
thme.
”
Ishakemyhead.Heshr ugsthenlaysonhissideon
thecouch, st
il
lnotlet
ti
nggooft hebott
le.Abouta
minutelater,
he’ssnori
ng.Iwatchhimforami nut
e,
taki
nginhi sfeat
ures.I
thastobeTr i
xydrooli
ngall
overanothermanbecausei tcan’tbeme.

*
***
**
I
t'
sunedi
tedsoki
ndl
yexcuseanyer
ror
s(i
edon'
t
ment
ionthem)
.
(
Unedi
ted&shor
t)
SEVENTEEN
★★★★★★★★
SUKOLUHLE

Me:“
Youhavetheheav
iestal
cohol
col
l
ect
ion,
might
st
ayher
efort
hat.”
It
akeanot
hergul
poft hebi
tt
erl
iqui
d,feeli
ngitbur
n
mythr
oatthenl
ungs.Iwokeuppainf
ullysprawl
ed
onhi
scouchthenIcamehere,t
othebar .
He’smad.Iseei ti
nhisscrunchednoseandhowhis
chestheaves.He’si
nhisformal wearsoIassume
thathe’
sreadiedhimsel
fforwor k.
Mpho:“Ihav
eani
mportantmeeti
ngIneedtogetto
butwhenIcomeback,
youbett
erbecleanedup.
”
Ichuckl
ethenbur
p,al
mostpuki
ngatt
hat
.
Me:
“Sor
ry.Whywoul
dIl
i
stent
oyou?
”
Mpho:“
Becausethi
sismyhouse.Ial
sowor
ktoo
har
dtokeepthi
sbarpackedf
oryoutowast
emy
al
cohol
li
ket
hat
.”
Ihuf
f.
Me:
“Yeah,
li
key
oumi
nd.
”
Hedoesn’
tsayany
thi
ngt
othat
.HeknowsI
’
mri
ght
.
Mpho: “
Got othekitchenifyouhungry
.Iaskedthem
topreparesomethingthat’l
lhel
pwiththehangover
.I
tookoutclothest
haty ouwi l
lwearaf
tershoweri
ng.I
bett
erfindyouinthem. ”
Me:
“Orwhat
?”
Mpho:
“I’
m notar
gui
ngwi
thy
ouaboutt
his.Ihav
eto
go.
”
Me:
“So,
thi
sisl
i
keourf
ir
stf
ight
?”
Itakeanot
hergul pbutwit
hmyey essti
llfi
xedon
him.Hemi ghtbet hemasterofnonchalancebutI
’m
veryobser
v ant(l
et’
snotment i
onmybl indnesswi
th
Nosi)soInot i
ceev er
yemotionthatf
lashespasthi
s
face.
Hi
sphonest
art
sri
ngi
ng.
Mpho:
“Ibet
terf
indy
oul
i
keIsai
d…”
Hel
eav
esasheanswer
s.
Thealcoholj
ustmakesl i
febearabl
ef orme.I’
ve
neverbeenplayedl i
ket hi
s.Sure,I
’v
ehadbadl uck
whenitcomest or elati
onshipsbutthisonetakes
thecup.Idon’tunder st
andwhyI ’m evenmour ni
ngit
.
I
twasone- si
dedf i
rstofal landsecondly,i
t’
sgood
ri
ddance.ButI’mlickingwoundsofi t
sburn.I’
m so
donewiththi
sandmay beatt heendoft hi
sbot t
leor
thenext,
mypi typartywi l
lend.
.
POPPY

I’
m alreadyti
redofbei ngher e.Aweeki sj
usttoo
l
ongf ormeandwhatt hehel lam Isupposedt odo
allday?Kgosi str
ictl
yinstructedthatIkeepal ow
profil
esoIcan’ tevengoany where.I’v
ebeen
thi
nkingofSukoal ot.Mphot oldmeabouthi s
breakupwi t
hNosi ,thankGod, butIknowhe’ snot
takingitwel
l.Sukoal way sf i
ndsithardtopick
himselfupaf t
eraf ail
edr elati
onship.Hegiveshisal
l
,
getdisappointedthenbl ameshi msel f
.
I
’vebeenlayingonmybed, st
ari
ngint
ospace.
SometimesIdol ookbackandwonderwhatbadIdi d
todeserv
el i
vingontherun.I’
veneverr
eall
yjustl
i
ved,
whichisprobablywhyItreateachdayli
keit
’smy
l
ast.
Gi
gi:
“Pop!
”
Heget
sont hebedandcl
i
mbsont
opofme,
pul
l
ing
mycheeks.Iki
sshi
s.
Me:
“Donepl
ayi
ng?
”
Henods, hiscurl
sbounci
ng.Ineedtocuthi
shai
r.I
alsohaven’tcutminei
nforev
er.I’
m pr
obabl
ygoi
ng
tojustl
etitgrow.
Gi
gi:
“Come”
HepullsmyhandsoI ’m compelledtofollowhim.I
putmyslidesonandl ethi
ml eadmet owher ever
.
He’sonaswi ngwithhisbacktome.Qui nnis
probabl
yaroundbecauseshe’ dneverleaveGigi
aloneoutsi
de.Rumi i
sprobablylockedupi nher
room doi
ngwhat ev
er.
Gi
gir
unsbackt
othehouseaf
terIst
andnextt
ohi
m.
Me:
“It
houghty
ousai
dweekend.
”
Helooksatmei
nscr
uti
ny,
hisgazemov
ingupand
down.
Kgosi
:“Howar
eyou?
”
Hiseyesfi
ndmi ne.Theswi
ngisbigenoughtocarry
usbothbutIdon’tknowabouti
tsstr
ength.Kgosi
is
obvi
ouslyheav
y.
Me:“Howdoy
outhi
nkIam?Ineedanswer
s.Why’
s
Oki
tryi
ngt
oki
llmeandwhy
’sourfami
lyi
ndanger
?”
Kgosi
:“Soy
ouwon’
tansweroraskmehowIam?
”
Me:
“No”
Kgosi
:“Soi
l
lmanner
ed.
”
Me:“Wil
lyoucutt
hesmal
ltal
kandt
ell
mewhatI
wanttohear
?”
I’
mi npati
entandit
’sstressedi nmyt one.The
suspensehasbeenki ll
ingmeandagai n,
Ihatebeing
i
nt hedark.Hedoesn’tr eplybutinsteadputshis
thumbandi ndexfingeronmychi nt henleansinfor
akiss.Isighandreply,all
owinghi mt okissmeunt il
hebr eaksit
.Maybehe’ll f
inal
lytellmeal lt
hatIwant
t
ohear
.
Hepecksmyf
oreheadaf
tert
henl
etsgo.
Me:
“And?
”
Kgosi:“Hewant edmet okill
youbecausehe’ ssick.
Heget sridofanywomanwhocr eepstheirwayinto
hisheart.Sothewhol escam thi
ngwaspl annedi n
thatmanner .I
’m notafoolsoIwasobv iouslygoing
tocatchy outhenterminateyoubecausenoone
crossesmeandl eaves.
”
Isni
cker
,howconv
eni
ent
.I’
m notbuy
ingt
hisbul
l
.
Me:
“Tr
yagai
n.”
Kgosi
:“Whatr
easondoIhav
etol
i
e?”
Me:“Whydidhewanttoki
llGigi
?Hehasn’
tdone
any
thingt
ohim.Igett
hatmay beRumiwoul
dn’t
hav
ebeenaf f
ect
edbutyourreasoni
sn’
tdoi
ngitfor
me.”
Kgosi:“That
’st
heonlythingI
’
vemanagedtogather
.
I’
mt r
yingPoppy.Thereasondoesn’
tmakesenseto
mebutIguessi texpl
ainswhyhegotri
dofyour
si
ster.
”
Me:
“Whataboutmyhouse?
”
Kgosi
:“I
’
llbui
l
dyouabi
ggerone.
”
Ihuf
f.
Me:“
That’
snotwhatI
’
m aski
ng.Whydi
dOki
demol
ishi
t?”
Kgosi:
“Hewasangr yhisplandidn’
twork.Healso
wantedtodestr
oyanythingthatmightl
i
nkhimt o
yoursi
ster
’sdeat
h.Youkeptherr oom l
ocked,r
ight?
Neversear
chedthroughit?”
Inod.
Me:“If
eltmov i
ngsomet
hingwoul
dbelikeer
asing
somepar tofhermemor
ysoIcoul
dn’
t.Iwantedto
keepheraliv
e.”
Kgosi
:“Youshouldhavegonet
hroughi
twaybef
ore
ty
ingyoursel
ftoOki
.”
Me:
“Whatdoy
ouknow?
”
Kgosi
:“ThatIl
ovey
ou.
”
Hesqueezesmyt
hight
henpi
nchesi
tli
ght
ly.
Me:
“That
’snotwhatIasked.
”
Kgosi
:“I
’
vemi
ssedy
ou.
”
Me:
“Youhav
eawi
fe”
Kgosi
:“That
’sbusi
ness.Iwantpl
easur
e.”
Heki
ssesmeagai
nbutIpushhi
m of
f.
Me:“Youmightendupbr
eaki
ngtheswi
ngs.Gi
veme
answers,
surel
yyoudi
dn’
tcomeallt
hewayfor
pl
easure.
”
Kgosi
:“Icameal
lthewayf
ori
tandmor
e.Let
’sgo
foradr
ive.”
Me:
“Buty
out
oldmenott
ogoany
wher
e.”
Kgosi
:“You’
rewi
thme.Youhav
enot
hingt
owor
ry
about
.”
HetakesmyhandbeforeIcanpr
otestandweget
of
ftheswings.He’
sparkedhi
scaroutsi
dethey
ard
sowewalktoit.HespanksmybuttasIgeti
nsi
de.
Kgosi
:“Howar
eyousot
hinwi
thsuchaf
atbut
t?”
Me:
“It
’st
heEr
it
reani
nme”
Hegoestohi
ssi
deandi
mmedi
atel
ydr
ivesof
fwhen
heget
sin.
.
SUKOLUHLE

Mpho:
“Oh,
you’
recl
eanedup.
”
Hesoundsgenuinel
ysurpr
ised.Icanalsotel
lbyhow
he’
slooki
ngatmet hathedidn’
texpectthi
s.Ist
and
upfr
om thecouch.
It
’sl
ateaft
ernoonnow.I ’
veeat
en,
sleptand
showeredi
nhi sabsence.
Me:
“Whatwer
eyouexpect
ing?
”
Mpho:
“Don’
tgi
vemeat
ti
tude.
”
Hepl
aceshi
sphoneandcarkey sont
hecof
feet
abl
e
t
hensi
tsonthecouchr
ightnexttome.
Mpho:
“Ir
ecei
vedacal
lonmywayback.
”
Me:
“Fr
om who?
”
Mpho:
“Saps.You’
reawant
edman.
”
Il
augh.
Me:
“Forbei
ngt
hesexi
estmanal
i
ve?
”
Mpho:“I
t’
saseri
ousmatter.Youhav
etohand
your
sel
finbutr
elax
,I’
vealr
eadygott
enyoua
l
awyer.
”
Mysmi
l
edr
ops.
Me:
“You’
reser
ious.
”
Henods.Ist
andup,
runni
ngahandt
hroughmyhai
r.
Me:
“Poppy
!Isshe…i
sshei
njai
l
?”
Thet houghtofmybestfr
iendinther
epul
lsatt
he
str
ingsofmyhear t.Wearen’
tongoodtermsnow
butIloveherandimagini
ngherinasteel
cageisn’
t
pl
easi ngtotheey
esofmymi nd.
Mpho:
“She’
sinZur
ich.
”
Me:
“Good,
good.
”
I
’
m nowpaci
ngar
oundt
her
oom.
Mpho:“
Youdi
dn’
tev
enaskwhatt
hey
’rechar
ging
youf
or.
”
Ihal
tmyst
eps.
Me:
“Iknowwhati
t’
sabout
.”
Isi
tbacknextt
ohi
m.
Mpho:“I
t’
snotwhat
everyou’
ret
hinki
ng.Nosi
lai
dan
assaul
tchar
geagai
nstyou.
”
Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“Assaul
t,me?Ri
ght
”
Mpho:“Gender
-basedvi
olencei
saser
iousmatt
erin
t
hiscountr
ySuko,youcan’tbet
aki
ngt
hissol
ightl
y.
”
Me:“I’
veneverabusedher ,
notev enonce.I’
venev er
l
aidahandonherunl esswet al
kofchokingdur i
ng
oursteamysessions.I
t’
spr obabl
yast untshe’
s
pul
li
ngt ogetbacktogether.Iwouldn’
tputitpast
her.
”
Mpho:“
Evenift
hat’
sthecase,
you’
l
lhav
etodef
end
your
sel
fincour
t.
”
JustwhenIt
houghtmyl
i
fewoul
dn’
tgetwor
se.
Me:
“Takemet
othepol
i
cest
ati
ont
hen.
”
*
***
**

Excuseanyer
ror
spl
ease.I
'
m sot
ir
edbutI
'
llpostac
SEVENTEENPARTI
I
★★★★
Ther i
deissilentthere.I’
m deepi nthought,
wonder i
ngwhatt hehel lNosi wantsfrom me.I’
m
temptedt ocallher,askherwhati t’
saboutbutMpho
hasadv i
sedagai nstit.Hesay sitmightbeused
againstmei ncour t
,somet hingabouti nt
imi
dati
on.I
knowI ’
mi nnocentinal lofthisanditjust…i
rksme
thatshewentt osuchext endsformyat t
ent
ion.
Il
etMphodothetal
ki
ngt
hent
heof
ficerhandl
i
ngt
he
casecomesandt
ell
sust
ofol
l
owhim.
Of
ficer
:“Whatdoyouhavetosayaboutt
hechar
ges
br
oughtfor
thbyyourexgir
lf
ri
end?”
Me:“I
’
m act
ual
lyconf
usedbyt
hisbecauseI
’
venev
er
l
aidahandonher.
”
Mpho:
“Of
fi
cer
,thi
sisof
fther
ecor
d,r
ight
?”
Of
fi
cer:
“Yes.Wedon’thaveenoughevidencet
o
makeanarrestnow.Ther
e’snocase.
”
Me:
“Ther
eisn’
t?”
Of
fi
cer
:“Theev
idencepr
ovi
dedbyhert
osuppor
ther
cl
aimswasfabr
icat
ed.Youcanr
elax,
fornow.I
’
d
advi
ceyout
o…”
Hel
ooksar
oundt
henl
ower
shi
svoi
ce.
Of
fi
cer
:“st
opf
ucki
ngwi
thher
.She’
sbadnews.
”
Mpho:
“So,
that
’si
t?”
Off
icer
:“Ar
eyout
her
easonhel
efther
?Ory
ou’
ret
he
l
awy er
?”
Mpho: “Sheli
edtoanoffi
cerofthelaw.Shemustbe
punishedforherfal
secl
aims.Thinkoftheadmi
n
thatwentintoopeni
ngthi
scaseand–
Off
icer
:“We’
vewastedenoughst at
eresourceson
her
.However,wewon’ttakeherseri
ousl
yifshe
comeshereagai
n.ApologiesMrNcube.”
Ifeel
rel
i
evedwhenweexi tt
hepoli
cestat
ion.Mpho
i
smadnextt ome.HehatesthatNosii
sget t
ing
awaywithheratt
emptatdestr
oyi
ngmyl i
fe.Idon’
t
getwhyhe’sthi
sworkedup.
Mpho:
“Waitunt
ilIt
ell
Poppy
,she’
sgoi
ngt
oagr
ee
wi
thme.”
Me:
“OKpr
ett
yboy
,enough.Idon’
tcar
eaboutNosi
,
i
tdidn’
twor k.Infact,
she’sdi
scredi
tedherselfnow
andtheywon’ teverbeli
eveher.I
’m donewithher
andwell,gl
adt hatthecasewasov erthr
ownor
whateverhappened.Relax.”
Mpho:
“I’
m notaboy
.”
Ichuckl
e.
Me:“Yeah,
whatev
er.Pleasetakemet
oPoppy
.I
needtofi
xthi
ngswithher.”
Mpho:
“She’
sst
il
li
nZur
ich.It
houghtIt
oldy
out
hat
.”
Me:
“Idon’
tremember
.I’
l
lcal
lher
.”
Mpho:“
Andherhousewasdemol
i
shed.It
oldy
ou
t
his.
”
It
’sthefir
sttimeI ’
m hearingofit.Ir egr
etal otof
thi
ngs.First,
Ishoul dneverhav eletNosi poi
sonme
againsther.IknewPoppyl ongerandshe’ ddone
moref ormet hant hatsnakeev erwi ll
.Secondly,I
shouldn’
thav emov edout.Ther oom Ist ayiniskak
thenthere’sther entthing.Sure,Iseeki ndependence
butthewayIwentabouti twaswr ong.Last l
y,I
shouldhav elistenedwhenshewar nedme.Poppy
hasnev erbeenwr ongespeciall
ywheni tcomest o
thewomeni nmyl if
ebutInev erli
sten.Idon’tknow
whyI ’
m alwaysbl i
ndedwheni tcomest olove.I
t’s
whyI ’
m sayingfucklovenow.I ’
m doneset t
li
ng,done
searchi
ngf ortheoneandal lthatcrappyshi t
.I’
m no
l
ongeraspi ri
ngtof i
ndacompani on.I’
m goingto
focusonr ebuil
dingmyl i
fe.I
’m goingt owor kon
acquiri
ngcapitaltokickstar
tmydr eam.I’m goingto
workhar danddowhat everIcanf orthat.
.
POPPY

Me:“Thankyoufort
his.I
’
dforgott
enaboutSuko’
s
i
nvestment.Thi
ngshavebeencrazy.
”
Kgosi
:“I
t’
ll
qui
tendown.Doy
ouknowthaty
ourex
wantst
ocomeaf t
ermyfami
lynow?
”
Me:
“Hedoes?
”
Henods.
Kgosi:“
Mypati
encehasr
anoutwithhi
m.I
’
m
el
iminati
nghi
m andhi
sworkf
orce.
”
Me:
“Tooky
oul
ongenough”
Irol
lmyey es.I’
m notaboutt oactli
ket henews
aren’
tpl
easingt omyear s.Themanwant edtokil
l
meandmybaby ,I
’m notgoingtoletthatsli
de.I
f
Kgosidoesn’tdoitthenIwill
.I’
venev erkil
l
edbefore
butther
e’saf i
rstt
imef oreveryt
hing,ri
ght?
Kgosi
:“Youwantaspanki
ng,
don’
tyou?
”
Ihuffthentakeoutmyphone.I’
m hopi
ngSukohas
unblockedmepostNosibreakup.Hehasnoreason
tostil
lwanttocutmeoffbecausethepoi
sonhas
dissol
vedit
self.
Me:
“ThankGod”
Hechuckl
es.I
’
m happyhe’
sanswer
ed.
Suko:“Pops,I’
m sor
ry.IhatethatIl
etsomeoneget
betweenusev enaft
erIv owedIwouldn’t
.Iwas
bl
indedbyt hati
ll
usi
onofl ovebecausethatwasn’
t
someWAP.I ’
m sorr
yforev er
ythi
ng,pl
easeforgi
ve
me.”
Me:“OfcourseIforgi
vey
ou.Don’tbesohardon
your
sel
f.Ithappenedsol
earnfr
om it.I
’
vebeen
wait
ingfory
oureyestobeopenedandI’
m happyi
t’
s
happenedandthatyoucannowfocusonsel
f
heal
ingandbet
teri
ngy our
sel
f.
”
Suko:
“Sheev
enwant
edt
ogetmear
rest
ed.
”
Me: “
I’m notevensur
pri
sed.Thatgi
rlj
ustwant
edt o
r
uiny ourlif
e.That
’swhyshecamebet weenusthen
i
solatedy ou.”
Suko:“
Thatt
imeshehi
tmet
hencl
aimst
hatIwas
abusi
ngher.
”
Me:
“Shewhat
?!”
She’
sgett
ingitwhenIgoback,
nodoubtaboutt
hat
.
Howdaresheputherhandsonmybestfri
end?Who
doesshethi
nksheis?
Suko:“I
thappenedoncebutlookingatitnow,
I’
d
probabl
ybeinaphy si
call
yabusiv
er el
ati
onshi
pif
shehadn’tr
evealedhercheat
ing.
”
Me:“I
t’
sherloss,
don’tworr
y.You’
reanamazing
manandshe’sgoingtoregr
eteverrui
ningt
hegood
t
hingyouoncehad.”
Suko:
“It
’sj
usthar
dPops.Ispentt
hewhol
eweek
scrubbingmy sel
fforhours,wanti
ngtogetri
dofher
fi
lt
h.If el
tdi
sgustedwithmy sel
f.Totopital
l,
we’d
wentr awandnowI ’
m scaredoftest
ing.WhatifI
’
m
positi
ve?”
Me: “
Let’sjustpr
aythatshewasbei ngsafe.Also
askMphot oaccompanyy out othecl
i
nicsoy ouget
test
edandknowy ourstatus.Iknowit
’sscarybutit
’s
i
mpor tant.
”
Suko:
“Iseewhaty
ou’
ret
ryi
ngt
odo.
”
Icanheart
heamusementi
nhi
svoi
ce.Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“Whatdoy
oumean?
”
Suko:“
Thewhol
eMphothing.He’sbeenhoveri
ng
overmeli
keafl
yonmi
lk,notthatImind.Iseeyou.
”
Me:“
Youhavethewr
ongendofthest
ick.It
oldhi
m
t
olookaft
ery
ouformesi
nceI’
m nott
heretodoit,
t
hat’
sit
.”
Suko:
“Mm,
ify
ousayso.Buti
twon’
twor
k.”
Me:
“Whatwon’
t?”
Suko:
“Whaty
ou’r
etr
yingt
odo.We’
ret
oodi
ff
erent
pl
usIdon’
twantt
ohurthi
m.”
Me:
“Youonsav
agemodenow?
”
Hescof
fs.
Suko:
“Maybe.Rel
ati
onshipsareshi
t,I
’
m done.Di
d
youmanagetodotheinvestment?”
Me:
“Yessi
r.
”
Suko:“Thankyou.I
’
llt
rybooki
ngafl
i
ghtt
ocomesee
you.Isti
ll
havesomemoneyl ef
t.
”
Me:“No,
don’tdothat
.HowaboutIgetsomeonet
o
bookafl
ightf
oryouinst
ead?Idon’
twantyou
wasti
ngyourmoney.”
Il
ookatKgosi
whoshakeshi
shead.Iknowhe’
s
goi
ngtodoitr
egar
dless.
Suko:
“Uh,
OK.Thatcoul
dwor
k.Nextweek?
”
Me:
“Yes.I
’
llt
exty
out
hedet
ail
s.”
Suko:“Thankyousomuch.Thanky
ouforf
orgi
ving
met oo.Idon’
tknowwhatIdi
dtodeser
veafri
end
l
ikeyou.”
Me:
“Noneedt
othankme.Il
ovey
ou.
”
Suko:
“Il
ovey
oumor
e.”
Ihangupaft
er.Myhearti
sinabett
erpl
aceknowing
we’r
egood.Ihat
edusnotgetti
ngal
ong.I
tfel
tgood
heari
nghi
svoiceaf
terall
thi
sti
me.
Thi
sone’
shandhassl
i
ppedi
tswayi
ntomypant
s.
Me:
“So,
you’
l
lbooki
t?”
Kgosi
:“Li
keIhav
eachoi
ce”
Ipeckhi
sli
ps.We’
resi
tt
ingi
nhi
scaront
heback
seat.
Kgosi
:“Taket
heseof
f.
”
Heremoveshi
shandandIdoashesay
s.I
’
mina
goodmood.
.
SUKOLUHLE

Itr
yt henumberforthefif
thti
me, notabouttogive
up.Igotthenumberf r
om Zeldawhof ortunat
ely
di
dn’taskalotofquestions.She’
ssuchacur ious
person,al
waysaskingplethoraofquesti
ons.
Tshol
o:“
Hel
l
o?”
Me:“Hi
,mynamei
sSuko.Igoty
ournumberf
rom
Zel
da.”
Tshol
o:“
Tint
o?”
Igr
imaceatt
hatnamet
hensi
gh.
Me:
“Yes.
”
Tshol
o:“Sor
ryf
ort
aki
ngl
ongt
oanswer
.I’
d
mispl
acedmyphone.
”
Me:
“It
’sOK.Canwemeet
?Ineedy
out
opr
ayf
or
me.
”
Tshol
o:“
What
’st
hepr
obl
em?
”
Me:“Iwantt
ogetr
idofsi
nyamat
hatmyexl
eftme
wi
th.Ineeddel
i
ver
ance.
”
She’
squietforamomentontheot
herendt
hatI
havetor
emov ethephonef
rom myeart
ochecki
f
she’
ssti
l
l onthel
ine.
Me:
“Hel
l
o?”
Tshol
o:“
I’
ll
comet
oyou.
”
Thenshehangsup.Mphol
ooksatmeandIshr
ug.
Thatwasweir
d.
It
’smor ningnow.Ipickupt hebeddingIusedl ast
nightuponar r
ival
.Isleptont hefl
oor .I
t’
stimeI
washedmybedandspr ingcleanedthisplace.Igot
thatDettolanti
septi
csoI ’
m goingtoaddt he
mat t
ressont heli
stoft hingsIhavetodi si
nfect.She
sleptonit.Ij
ustwantt ogetr i
dofanyt raceofher .
There’
saknockont
hedoorasI
’
m sweepi
ng.Il
ook
attheti
meonmyphoneandwonderwhocoul
ditbe
thi
searl
y.
Me:
“Comei
n.”
Ashor tli
ghtskinnedwomancomesi n.Shesmil
es
atmet hengr absachairtosi
t.Iassumeit’
sTsholo.
Idon’treall
yknowher;justt
hatshe’saprophetand
Zelda’
sf ri
end.We’venevermetbefore.
Tshol
o:“
It
’shoti
nher
e”
Shefansherfacewit
hherhand.She’
swearinga
yel
l
owshor tf
laredr
esswit
hwhi t
esneaker
s.
Me:
“Shoul
dwesi
tout
side?
”
Tshol
o:“
May
beopent
hewi
ndowst
oletsomeai
r
i
n.”
Me:“Howdi
dyouknowwher
eIst
ay?Zel
dahas
nev
erbeenher
e.”
Tshol
o:“
Doy
ouhav
eaBi
ble?
”
Me: “
Ihadoneonmyphonebuthadt
odel
etei
t
becauseofspaceshor
tage.
”
Iscr
atchmyhead.I
’
m ashamed.
Tshol
o:“
Igotyouone.Tel
lmeaboutthi
sexofy our
s
andwhyyoufeelt
hatshe’
sTai
ntedyourspi
ri
t.
”
Me:“Ar
en’
tyouaprophet
?Can’
tyouseei
twi
thy
our
t
hir
deyeorsomethi
ng?”
Tshol
o:“Ionl
yseewhattheHolySpi r
ital
l
owsmet o
andI’
m notherei
nthatcapaci
ty.Iknowabreakup
can’
tbeeasytohandleandI’
m heretohelp.
”
Me:
“Sot
hisi
ssomet
her
apysessi
on?
”
Tshol
o:“
Mor
eli
kecounsel
i
ng.
”
Isi
gh.Wher
edoIbegi
n?
EI
GHTEEN
★★★★★★★
SUKOLUHLE

Talki
ngtohert hesepastfewdayshashelped.I’
m
nowwai ti
ngf ormyvisatobeapprovedsoIcanv isi
t
Poppy.Ididn’tknowoneneedsav i
saunti
l Mpho
mentionedit.Poppyunderst
oodthoughandjoked
aboutgetti
ngi ncont
actwithsomeonewho’llspeed
thi
ngsup.
Now, I’m hereanddr i
nkingagain.I
t’
sdif
ferentthi
s
ti
me.I ’m notdri
nkingtof or
getbuttoratherbidal
l
thesor rowsgoodby e.He’swithmeandhav inggi
n
andt onic.I
t’
sathishousebecauseI ’
dratherhang
heret hanatthattoil
etIcallahome.Thisi sinno
offenset oanyonebutt heplaceissuff
ocat i
ng.
Me:
“Iwantt
ogoout
.”
Thealcoholisn’
tdoingi
tswor kandperhaps
summi ngitwithmusicisgoingtohel
p.I’
m gladt
he
heav
ybur denI’vebeencarr
yinghasli
ghtenedandI
canfinall
ymov eonwithmyl i
fe.I
’mreal
lynotgoing
tojumpi nt
oar el
ati
onship.Maybeaft
eray earortwo,
Idon’tknow.Idoneedt ogetlai
dthough.
Mpho:
“Wher
e?”
Ishr
ug.
Me:“
Any
wher
eisf
inewi
thme.Moobar
,PHori
nthe
mi
x?”
Hesi
ghst
henget
sup.
Mpho:
“Letmegoshowerqui
ckl
y.
”
Il
ookhi
m ov
er.
Me:
“Why
?You’
ref
inel
i
ket
hat
.”
He’
sincasual
deni
m shor
tsandagol
fshi
rt
.
Mpho:“I
’
llbebacki
naboutt
en.Don’
tov
erdoseon
t
hatl
iquor.
”
Me:
“Thi
sisnot
hing.Don’
ttaket
ool
ong,
I’
m bor
ed.
”
Myphoner i
ngs.I
’v
ebeengetti
ngcallsfr
om
unknownnumbers.I’
danswerthi
nkingit
’spot
ent
ial
cl
ient
sonlytofi
ndit’
sNosi
.IalwayshangupwhenI
hearherv
oiceandimmediat
elyblockthenumber
.I
don’tgetwhyshe’shunguponmewhenshe’ snev
er
cared.Shecheatedonme,mademeaf oolt
hen
wentont ohumili
ateme.Whatmor edoesshewant?
IhatewhenIt hi
nkofherbutatl
eastIdon’
tfeel
disgustedwit
hmy sel
fwhenIdo.Oh,thephone
again.Ianswer.
Me:
“Hel
l
o?”
Call
er:“Goodday.Arey
ouav ai
l
abletomorr
ow?Our
fr
idgedecidedtostopwor
kingandmymot her’
s
breat
hingdownmyneckabouti t.Canyoucome
checkitout?”
Me:
“Yes,
Ican.Textmey
ouraddr
esst
henI
’
llbe
t
her
e.”
Cal
l
er:
“Gr
eat
”
I
’
llbeworki
ngwit
hahangov
erbutIdon’
tcar
e.I
’
ddo
i
tevenwhenI’
m dr
unk.
HecomesbackwhenI’
veevenforgot
tenabouthi
m.
He’
schanged,
weari
ngski
nnycheckpantsanda
bl
ackt
-shi
rtwi
thr
edsuedeloaf
ers.
Me:
“Youknowy
oudi
dn’
thav
eto,
right
?”
Mpho:“
Let’
sgo.I
’
vejustspokentosomeoft
heguy
s,
t
hey’
reatPHsowe’r
egoingthere.
”
Idon’
tar
gue.Idon’
tmindwher
ewear
eorwi
thwho,
l
ongasIgettohavesomefun.
Me:
“Letmedr
ive”
Mpho:
“Who’
scar
?”
Real
l
y?
Me:“
Goon,makemef eelshi
tt
ierfordependi
ngon
youf
ort
ranspor
tat
ion.I’
ll
gettheretoo.”
Mpho:“Aowa,I
’m notl
ett
ingy
oudr i
vemycarand
you’
renotgoi
ngtomakemef eel
badfori
t.
”
Me: “
That’
sthethi
ng.Youkeepremi
ndingmeof
youraccompli
shmentswhil
eIhavenone.Igeti
t.
”
Hehuf
fs.
Mpho: “
I’
vewor kedhardtogetwher
eIam.I ’
ve
alwaysli
stenedtoyoudemeany our
sel
f,speakof
yourl
ackwi thnojudgment.Whyshoul
dIbej udged
forwhatI’
vewor kedfor
?”
Me:
“Let
’sj
ustgo.
”
Thedriveissilent.Foronce, mymindisn’
toverl
y
act
ive.There’snot ensionoranyawkwar dness,
just
comfortabl
esi lence.Ital
ldissol
veswhenwear ri
ve
atourdestination.It
’spackedandbuzzing.Hefinds
aparkingspott henwe’ reout.
Mpho:
“Yougood?
”
Inod.Weeasi lyfi
ndhi sfri
endswhoal r
eadyhav e
dri
nksandi ce.WhatIdon’ texpectt of i
ndisNosi on
oneoft heguy’slap.Ican’tbel
ievet hisgir
l.Butthen,
i
tshouldcomeasnosur pri
seaftert hatvi
deocal l
.
Thesur pr
iseismay bei nhowt hi
si sadi ff
erentguy
andalso,whycal lmei fshe’smov edon?Ther e’
s
cl
earl
ysomel oosescr ewshere.Sheseems
surpr
isedt oseemebutIdon’ tpayheranymi nd.
Mpho:
“Thi
sisSukol
uhl
e,af
ri
endofaf
ri
end.
”
TheonewhohasNosi
onhi
slapspeaks.
Hi
m:“
Afr
iendofaf
ri
end,
huh”
Mphochuckl
es.
Mpho:“
Yes.
”Het
urnst
ome.“
That
’sCai
n,Li
ndoand
Vuy
o.”
Cainbei
ngt
heguywhoj
ustspoke.Inodatal
lof
them.
Nosi
:“Andme?
”
Cai
n:“Don’
tmindher
.Shel
i
kesact
ingi
mpor
tant
.
How’sitmyguy?”
Me:
“Oh,
shar
p.”
Icanf eelherstari
ngatmeast imegoesbybutI
don’tpayheranymi nd.I’m notevenbotheredby
Cainbei ngtouchywi t
hher .Theshortskir
tshe’s
wearinggi v
eshi m easyaccess.Ialmostf eelsor
ry
forher.Thewayt heseguy streatheri
ssadand
betweeny ouandme, she’
st oodamnpr ettyfort
his.
Ofcour semyv i
sionisclearednowandal l Iseei
sa
harl
ot.
I’
m dri
nkingi
nbetweendancing.Idon’
tknowwho
sheis,somet
hingthatst
art
swi t
haK.Ihav emy
handsonherwaistaswegr i
ndt othemusic.
K:
“You’
resohandsome”
Thenshegi
ggl
es.
Me:
“Thanky
ou”
Myhandsmov etoherbot t
om aswecont i
nuewi
th
oursensualdance.Icanfeeleyesbori
ngonme.I
l
ookar oundandt heyconnectwit
hMphowho
quickl
ylooksaway .He’
sbeingcreepyagai
nbutt
hat
l
ookmakesmef eelali
tt
lebad.It
’sonl
yalit
tl
e
thoughsonotenought omakemer etr
eat.
K:
“Let
’sgot
otheback.
”
Ah,easy…it’
dbeani
nsul
ttot
urnherdownsoI
rel
ent.Il
etherl
eadt
hewaywit
hherhandonmine.
*
***
*
Cain:“
Heh,Ineedyoutogi
vemewhateveryou’r
e
usi
ngman.Doy ouknowhowdif
fi
cul
tKhutsois?
Thenshejustgaveitt
oyouli
ket
hat,
Ihavetogivei
t
toyou.”
Ichuckle,taki
ngasi pofmydr i
nk.Man, i
t’
sfunny
thathe’ssay i
ngthiswit
hNosi onherlap.The
downgr adeissaddeningbutwomenar ea
compl i
catedspecie.I’
l
lbelyi
ngifIsayI’m not
pleased.Idon’tcarehowbitt
erIsoundbutshe
deservesal lt
hisandmor eaf
terhowshet reat
edme.
Karmai swor kingonherandI’
m ecstati
c.
Me:
“Idi
dn’
tputi
nanyef
for
t.
”
Mphosni ckersbesidesmet henstopswhenIthrow
him aglance.Thi
si spostbr eakupmewhodoesn’ t
giveadamn.Li kewi t
ht heKwoman…Khut so.Isort
ofleftherther
eafterflushingthecondom but
thankful
ly,
shedidn’tmi nd.Iguessshejustwanteda
taste.
Nosi
:“Whendi
dyoubecomet
his?
”
Ii
gnoreherandcontinuewithmydr inking.I
’m
havi
ngGlendfi
chthathasmef eel
inglikeI’
vefinal
l
y
madeit.Hangi
ngoutwi ththeseguysi spressureon
i
tsown.TheLindoonei sactuall
ytheonebuy i
ng.It
seemstheydoiti
nt urns.
Mpho:
“We’
rel
eav
ingnow,
time.
”
Li
ndo:
“Ah,
li
keusual
.Don’
tbeast
rangert
hough.
”
Webidthem f
arewellbuti
t’
sonlywhenIst
andup
t
hatIr
eali
zehowdr unkIreal
lyam.
He’
scur
singashehel
psmeoutt
heexi
t.
Me:
“It
’snotmyf
aul
tthaty
oucan’
thav
efun.
”
Hecl
i
ckshi
stongue.Heseemsmor
eagi
tat
edt
han
usual
,spi
tti
ngprofanit
iesthatIdon’
tpaymuchmi nd.
Ifeel
li
keI’
m ont opofthewor ldmanandnot hing
el
semat t
ers.Yeah,no.Icanfinal
lyadmitthat
al
coholmakesmehappy .Andsex.Al coholandsex
makemesohappy .
Wearri
vesoonerbecausethi
sguyher
edrov
elikea
l
unati
c.Thewayhe’sbeencli
ngi
ngontot
hesteeri
ng
wheelwasal
soalarming.
Me:“Ar
eyoufi
net
hough?Thi
siswhyy
ouhav eto
dr
inkmoret
hanadumpy.I
t’
ll
helpy
ouloosenup.
”
Mpho:
“Domeaf
avorandj
ustshutup.
”
Igr
abhi
swr
istbuthey
anksi
t.Isi
gh.
Me:
“What
’supwi
thy
ou?
”
Hescof
fs.
Mpho:
“You’
reaski
ng,
real
l
y?”
Ishr
ug.
Me:
“Idon’
tknow.
”
Hetakesoffhi
sshi
rti
nsi
deandsit
sonthecouch,
swi
tchingt
heTVon.Isti
l
lhavet
heGlendf
icht
hough
Idon’
trememberhowIev
enl
eftwi
thi
t.
Me:
“Her
e,hav
esome.
”
Her
egardsmebr
ief
lyt
hencl
i
ckshi
stongue.Iput
t
hebot
tl
edown.
Me:
“Oh,
Iseewhat
’sup.
”
Hesnicker
s,sti
l
lchannelhoppi
ng.It
ouchhist
high
andsqueeze.Helooksatmewi t
hsquintey
es.
Mpho:
“Whatdoy
out
hinky
ou’
redoi
ng?
”
Ishr
ugandl
eani
ntohi
m buthepushesme.Ihuf
f.
Me:
“What
’swr
ongwi
thy
ou?
”
Mpho:“
Don’
tdothatman,
especi
all
yaf
terwhat
ever
youdi
dwit
hher.
”
Me:
“Oh,
letmegowashmyhandst
hen.
”
Igetupandgototheki
tchenwhereIwashmy
handsint
hesinkwit
hli
quidsoap.
He’sst
oppedinasport
schannel
.Isitnextt
ohi
m,
t
hightothi
gh.Hedoesn’
tshi
ftsothat’
sagoodstar
t.
Me:
“Lookatme.
”
Hehuf f
sthentur
nstofaceme.That’
swhenIsmash
myl i
psonhis.I
tcat
cheshim of
fguardbutwhenhe
doesretai
nhissani
ty,
hepushesmeof fhi
m and
wipeshisl
ips.
Mpho:
“You’
rest
rai
ght
”
Iscof
f.
Me:
“Say
swho?Comeman,
beenwai
ti
ngt
odot
hat
.”
Thatsparkssomeinter
est.Iseeitbythespar
klei
n
hi
sey ebuthequi
cklyerasesit.Hestandsup.
Mpho:
“Ar
eyousl
eepi
ngov
er?
”
Me:
“Yeah,
wit
hyou.Yougotl
ube?
”
Mpho:
“You’
redr
unk,
stopt
alki
ngbul
l
.”
Me:“Iknowyoumast
urbat
esoy
oupr
obabl
ydo.
Condoms?”
Mpho:
“I’
m notsl
eepi
ngwi
thy
ouSuko!
”
Me:“YoujustaskedifI’
m sleepi
ngov
er.Whoel
sedo
youexpectmet osleepwith?”
Mpho: “
Ihaveabighousesoyoucanpickanyroom
exceptminetospendtheni
ghtal
one.I
t’
snotyour
f
ir
stni
ghther
e.I
’
m of
ftobed.
”
Igrabhi
swri
standpul l
himt omewi t
hease.He
l
andsonmyl ap,eyesunabletomeetmine.My
handsgotohisneck,pressi
ngli
ght
lyonit
.
Me:
“Iknowy
ougotachoki
ngki
nk”
Hegulps.Il
ookdownt
ohi
scr
ouchandi
tpr
ovesme
r
ight
.
Me:
“Ial
soknowy
ouwantt
his.
”
Istartki
ssingonhi sjawandhel et
sme.Iki ssunder
hischin,lowerjawandt ohischeekswhi chhashi m
giggli
ng.Ithenmov etohisforeheadbef orefinal
ly
mov i
ngtohi sl
ips.Igrazethem li
ghtlywithmi ne
unt i
lheletsoutapant ,part
inghisli
ps.Iinsertmy
tongueandt hekissbegins.It
’snotslowbuti t’s
sensual,passionateandr ough.Ipresshisnecka
l
ittl
ehardbutnott oohardthathecan’ tbreathe.Ilet
goofi tandmov emyhandsdownt ohisbubbl ebutt
.
Hebr eakst hekisswhenIsqueeze, hi
sey esmeet ing
mi ne.Hebi t
eshi sli
p,conceal
ingamoan.
Me:
“Youdonef
ight
ingi
t?”
WhatIdi
dn’
texpecti
saharshslapt
olandpainf
ull
y
onmycheek.Howcanhishandsbesosoftyethit
thi
sbad?Il
ookathiminshock.
Mpho: “
Youhavegutsdoi
ngthatafterfucki
nga
random j
ustsomehoursback.Tothinkyoujust
kissedmewiththesameli
psthat….Fucky ou.
”
Thenhewal ksaway.Nowistherightt
imetogr
ab
thebot t
le.I
t’
sburni
ngwher ehe’
sslappedmeandI’
ll
probablyhav eamark.Thatsl
apmademesoberup
abi tsoIdri
nkuntil
I’
m overwhel
medbyhappiness
alloveragain.
*
***
***

Canwegetmor
ecomment
s?I
'
veseent
hatt
hey
've
decr
eased.
Anyway,
50shar
esonthispostguar
ant
eesabonus.
(i
nser
twit
hMpho,NosiorOkiPOV)
Ihavetest
sagaint
hiscomingweeksot
hepost
ing
scheduler
emainsonpause.
NI
NETEEN
★★★★★★★
SUKOLUHLE

Myphone’ sri
ngi ngiswhatwakesmeup.Ial ways
makeament al notetoputi
tonvibr
ati
onatleastbut
nevergot hr
oughwi t
hit
.Thecall
eri
salsoper si
stent
soIstretchmyhandt owherethesoundiscomi ng
fr
om, grabitthenanswerwi t
hmyey esshut.Ihavea
badheadache, alongwithpainI
’mfeel
ingal
l overmy
body.
Me:
“Hel
l
o?”
From mywai
st,
downfeelpar
aly
zed,
nott
oment
ion
theachei
nmyposter
ior
.
Cal
l
er:
“Sukol
uhl
e?”
Me:
“Yes?
”
Call
er:
“Icall
edearl
i
erandy ourboyf
riendtol
dme
you’
resti
llsl
eepi
ngandspokeofr escheduli
ng.Wi
l
l
youbeabletocomear ound4pm today ?Mymom is
onmyneckaboutherf ri
dge.”
Me:
“Mm,
yes.Sendmey
ouraddr
ess.
”
Cal
l
er:
“Idi
dbutI
’
llsendi
tagai
n.Seey
out
hen”
ShehangsuponmesoIt hrowi tsomewher eont he
bed.Whatthehellhappened?Iopenmyey esand
takeinmysurroundings.Thespacei sfamili
ar,
from
theGreywall
stot hemi r
roredcei l
ings.I
t’
sspacious
tooandthebedcomf ort
ableandhuge.Mymi nd’s
foggysoImusthav ewenthar datt hebott
le.DidI
l
eav ewit
hKhutso?ButIwaswi th…Mpho.Thi smust
behisroom.Ifit
’shisroom t henitmeans…
Speakofthedev
ilandheshal
lgr
aceuswi
thhi
s
presence.
Mpho:
“You’
reup.Ibr
oughty
oul
unch.
”
He’
sinhi
screasedsui
t,al
lbl
ackt
hist
ime.Theonly
col
ori
sinhi
sshoeswhicharemaroonsuedel
oafers.
Me:
“Whatdi
dyoudot
ome?
”
Hechucklesandsetst
hetrayhe’
shol
dingonthe
bedsi
detable,
befor
esit
ti
ngnexttomeont hebed.
Mpho:
“Sl
eptwel
l
?”
It
rysi
tt
ingupbutt
hepai
ncr
ushesi
ntome.Thi
s
manpar
aly
zedmef
orr
eal
.
Me:
“Di
dyou…howdi
dIev
en…f
uck”
Mpho:
“Whatdoy
our
emember
?”
Me:“
Inthemi
x.It
houghtI
’m atKhut
so’
spl
acebut
t
henremember
edwepar t
ed.
”
Mpho:
“Idi
dn’
tdoany
thi
ngt
oyou.
”
Me:
“Yeah,
you’
reabot
tom butwhodi
d?”
Mpho:“Idon’tknow.Ihav etogo,
wantedtobri
ng
yout
his.There’sadri
v eroutsi
dewho’
l
l t
akeyouto
t
hatappointmentofy ours.”
Me:
“Thanksf
ormaki
ngmef
eel
li
keabi
sh.
”
Mpho:“You’
reinnoposi
ti
ont
ohav
eal
lthatpr
ide.I
’
ll
seeyoulat
er.
”
Me:
“No,
wai
t.Howdi
dIgeti
ntoy
ourr
oom?
”
Mpho:
“Youwant
edt
osl
eepwi
thme.
”
Hisphoner i
ngsandheanswer s,wavingatmeashe
l
eav es.Heonlyt
urnstogivemehi sbackwhenhe’s
atthedoor.I’
m ahundredper
centsur ethisi
sal
lhi
m
buthowdi dhemanaget otur
nt hetables?WasI
real
l
yt hatdr
unk?Ihadsexwit
hnotonebuttwo
people,i
nonenight
?Yes,Ihav
etoquital
cohol
.
.
POPPY

He’sbeenher ef ort oolongnowandI ’

m notsay ingI
don’tenjoyhi spr esencebutt hi
sissomeone’ s
husband.What ’
shi swi fethi
nkingwhenhe’ shere?
Him andQui nngetal ongqui t
ewel l
,whichiswhy
he’sbeensl eepi ngonmybed, i
nmyr oom.Weev en
havebr eakfastanddi nnerasaf amil
y.Thismor ning
howev er,hebr ingsmebr eakfasti
nbed.Qui nnand
theothert wol eftlastni ghttovisi
therformer
brother-i
n-l
aw.So, we’vehadt hehouseallto
ourselvesandhar dlyslept.Hekeptmeupal lni
ght .
Kgosi
:“Iknowy
ou’
rehungr
ysoi
t’
sappet
izi
ng.
”
Heki
ssesmyf
oreheadandput
sthef
oodonmyl
ap.
Me:
“Am Inotbr
ushi
ngmyt
eet
hfi
rst
?”
Kgosi
:“Notbef
orey
ousuckmydi
ck”
Me:
“What
?”
Kgosi
:“You’
rest
il
laski
ng?
”
Thereisthi
ssi
detohi
m whichIhav
en’
tgot
tent
o
hateyet.Il
i
kehowhetakeschar
geandhow
dominanthecanbeatmostti
mes.
*
***
*
Me:
“Whatabouty
ourwi
fe?
”
We’r
edoi ngthedishesnow.It’
smor eli
keIam while
hedri
nkshi sbeer,spanki
ngmyar seeveryonceina
whil
e.I’
veshower edandcleanedmostoft hehouse.
Thedishesaren’tthatmanysoI’m notcomplai
ning.
Kgosi
:“Whatabouther
?”
Me:“
What’sshesay
ingi
fyou’
reher
e?Andtheki
ds,
whyarey
ouawayf r
om t
hem f
orsolong?
”
Kgosi:“Ourfir
stbornissl
ightl
yyoungerthanyou,
secondmay beyourli
tt
lesist
er’
sageandt hethi
rd
al
mostat eenager
.Besides,I
’vebeenkeeping
contactwiththem.Hav eyougrowntir
edofme
al
ready?”
Me:“Noteven.I
’mjustaskingbecausey
ourmar
it
al
st
atusisn’
tafactIcanignore.
”
Hechuckl
es.
Kgosi
:“Howi
roni
c.Younev
ermi
ndwhenIt
apt
hat
.”
Me:
“Yourv
owsar
ewi
thy
ourwi
fe,
notme.
”
Hesi
ghs.
Kgosi:“
Yes.I’
dactual
lygi
vei
tal
lupi
fyoul
ovedme
butIcan’tt
akethatri
sk.
”
If
rown.
Me:
“I’
m…sor
ry?
”
Kgosi
:“Don’
t.Don’
tpi
tyme”
Me:
“Hug?
”
Iopenmyar msf orhim andhecomes, hi
shandson
mywai sti
nsteadofmybut twhi
chisnew.Itl
ast
sas
l
ongasheneedsi ttountil
hebreaksit
.Igetonmy
ti
ptoestoplantakissonhi sfor
ehead.
Me:“ImightnotbeinlovebutIdocare.Youhav
ea
bi
gheartunderall
thisdarkext
eri
or.Imeanthat
bot
hlit
erall
yandfi
gurati
vely
”
Hechuckl
es.
Kgosi
:“Youj
usthadt
o.”
Me:“Yep,
coul
dn’
thel
pit
.Wantt
ohel
pmecookf
or
you?
”
Kgosi
:“I
’dr
atherwat
chwhi
l
efant
asi
zi
ngofy
ouas
mylit
tl
ewif
e.”
Me:
“Whyl
i
ttl
e?”
Kgosi
:“Becausey
ouar
e.Li
ter
all
y”
Me:
“Mxm”
Kgosi
:“I
’
mleavi
ngt
onight
.Ihavetogomakesur
e
yourf
ri
endmakesi
ttoyousafel
y.
”
Me:
“Youar
e?”
Kgosi
:“Don’
tbesad.You’
vei
nsi
nuat
edthatI
’v
e
over
stayedmywelcomeandyou’
rer
ight
.Ther
ear
e
l
ooseendsIneedtocut.”
If
rown.
Me:
“Il
ovedhav
ingy
ouar
ound.
”
Ipout
.Hepecksmyl
i
ps.
Kgosi
:“Il
ovedbei
ngwi
thy
ou.Howaboutwemake
ourpar
ti
ngmemor
abl
e?”
Me:
“Il
i
ket
hesoundoft
hat
”
It
hrowtherugathi
m andthebast
ardwhi
psmyass
wi
thit
.Jerk.I
’
llmi
sshim.
.
SUKOLUHLE

I
t’
st woday saftertheratherst
il
lfoggyweekendand
I
’m packingaduf fl
ebagsi ncemyv isahasfi
nal
ly
beenappr oved.Ihaven’tseenMphosi ncet
henandI
don’tthi
nkIwantt o.He’sbeencal l
i
ngandI’vebeen
i
gnor i
nghim.
I’
m notdumb; Iknowwhathappened.I ’v
ejustbeen
havingahardt i
medi gestingt
hat.I’
m notdisgust
ed
nordoIhav eanyregr et
sbutf orhi
mt o…Ijustcan’t
underst
andhow.Ther e’
saknockonmydoorbutt he
personlet
’sthemselvesi nbeforeIcantell
them to.I
catchawhi f
fofherper fumethatmakesmewantt o
puke.Whatt hehell
isshedoi ngher e?
Me:
“Youhav
egut
scomi
ngi
nher
eaf
tert
ryi
ngt
oget
mear
rest
ed.
”
Izi
pmybagt
hengi
vehert
heat
tent
ionIknowshe
desi
res.
Me:
“Whatdoy
ouwant
?”
Shepullsachai
rthensi
tsf
acingme.She’snotas
sophist
icat
edasshewasattheclub.She’
sfr
eedher
hai
r,hasnomakeuponandi swearingasi
mplet-
shi
rtdress.
Nosi
:“Hi
”
Me:
“Cuti
toutandt
ell
mewhyy
ou’
reher
e”
Nosi
:“Imi
ssy
ouSuko.Imi
ssus”
Iscof
f.She’
scr
azy
.
Me:“I
’
dt hinkoft
ryi
ngtobeliev
ey ouifIhadn’
tseen
youovertheweekend,barel
ydressedandal l
owi
nga
mantof i
ngeryouinpubli
c.”
Nosi
:“Iknowhowt
hatl
ookedl
i
kebuthe…he
dr
oppedme. ”
Me:
“Sor
ry”
I
’
m bei
ngsar
cast
ic.Idon’
tgi
veani
nchwhat
happensi
nherli
feorhowdir
tyshe’sdone.She
deserv
esthi
sandmor ef
oral
lshe’sdonetome.
Nosi
:“Hedi
dbecauseI
…”
Shelooksdownandf i
ddleswit
hherf i
nger
s.Idon’
t
thi
nkI’
m goi
ngtolikewhatshe’sgoingtosay.When
sheli
ft
sherhead,hereyesareglossy.
Nosi
:“I
’
m pr
egnant
”
Thebangingofmydoorcatchesmyatt
ent
ionaf
ter.I
fi
ndmy sel
fonmyf eett
hentothedoor
.Hi
scarroars
befor
eitdri
vesaway.Heheardthat
?Ohwell
.
Il
eav
ethedooropened.Sheneedst
orepeather
sel
f.
Me:
“Whatdi
dyousay
?”
Nosi
:“I
’
m pr
egnantSuko.
”
Ichuckle,
shaki
ngmyhead.Ipul
lachairadj
acentto
hersandlookherst
rai
ghti
nhereyes.Hergl
ist
ening
eyesleavemeunaff
ected.
Me: “
Youmustt hi
nkI’
m af ool,
don’tyou?Isn’
tit
conveni
enthowy ou’
resuddenlypregnantafterwe
breakupandI’v
eseeny ouf orwhoy ouare?Couldit
al
sobet hati
t’
sacoincidencethatyousayt hisaf
ter
y
ouwantedust ogor aw.We’dbeenusingacondom
f
ort
woy earsthenboom, outoftheblueyouwantto
f
eel
all
ofme?You’ r
emadwena.I fy
out hi
nkt
his
f
abl
eofyourswi l
lgetmebacki ntoyourwebofli
es,
y
ou’
remistaken.Getout”
Nosi
:“I
t’
syour
s,Suko.You’
ret
heonl
yoneI
’
vebeen
r
awwi t
h.”
Ichuckl
e.
Me: “
Yourscamsnev erendneh.Imeany ousaw
yourfal
searrestscam didn’tworkandnowy ou’r
e
comingwiththis?I’
l
lbesl owwi thyousi nceyou
seem dumb; we’r
edone.Ther e’snot hingyoucando
orsaythat’
l
lmakemegetbackwi t
hy ou.Idespise
youNosipho,Iwon’tlie.ButI’
m wor kingonthat
becauseIdon’twantt ocarrythebur denofregret
broughtbyyourdecept i
on,cheatingandbet rayal.
Leave”
Shestandsupthenbegi
nswal
ki
ng.Shest
opswhen
she’
sbyt hedoor
.
Nosi
:“I
’m notgoi
ngtobeasi ngl
eparentbecause
your
efusetotakeresponsi
bil
it
y.I
’l
lgi
veyout i
meto
di
gestt
his.
”
Me:“That’
snotmychi l
dandyouknowi
t.Youbet
ter
gofi
ndy ourbabydaddyandl
eavemethehell
al
one.”
Shecli
ckshert
onguet
henbangst
hedooronher
exi
t.Mxm.
Idon’ tdomuchwhi l
ewai t
ingf
oranhourbef oremy
fl
ight.I’
vepacked, cookedthenatesonowI ’
m
playingcandycr ushwhilewait
ingf ormycab.The
met ertaxiwil
ldropmeof fatt
heai rport
.I’
vehadt o
stopmy sel
ffrom call
ingMphosi nceNosi left
.The
factthatIletaguyl i
kehim…Idon’ tev enwantt osay
i
t.Goi ngtoPoppyi sexactlywhatIneed; ti
meout .
May bewhenI ’
m away ,I
’l
lbeabletomakesenseof
every t
hingthat’
stranspir
ed.Heck,Imi ghteven
remember .
.
POPPY

Me:
“Aunt
,youdi
dn’
thav
etogoal
loutl
i
ket
his.
”
Qui
nn:“Li
kewhat
?I’
mlooki
ngf
orwar
dtomeet
ing
t
hisfr
iendofy
our
s.”
Me:
“He’
sjustaf
ri
end”
Qui
nn:“
So?Don’
tbej
eal
ousi
fyoudon’
tseehi
mli
ke
t
hat.
”
Me:
“Qui
nn!
”
Ican’
tbel
iev
ethatnevercr
ossedmymi nd.Icanbe
sl
owatt i
mes.Ishoul
dhavejudgedbyhermakeup
andtheti
ghtdresst
hatsomethi
ngisup.
Qui
nn:
“I’
mfi
ne,
right
?”
Rumi
:“Hotaunt
ie”
Shecomesi nweari
ngapai
rofshort
sandmatchi
ng
spaghet
tit
op.Gigif
oll
owsbehi
ndherwhi
leonthe
i
PadKgosi gothi
m.Hespoil
sthem t
oomuchbutI
don’
tmind.
Qui
nn:
“Hebet
tert
hinkso.
”
Rumi
laughs.
Me:
“Andt
henwena?
”
Rumi
:“What
?It
’sf
unnyaunt
iehasacr
ush”
Me:
“Andwhatdoy
ouknowaboutt
hat
?”
Quinn:“
Shehasacelebr
it
ycrush.Herpi
ctur
esareal
l
overherphoneandshestal
ksherwhenshegetsthe
chance.
”
Me:
“Who’
sthi
s?”
Rumi
:“Aunt
ie,
youpr
omi
sedy
ouwon’
ttel
l
!”
Shescowl
s,f
oldi
ngherar
ms.
Me:
“Relax,
I’
m notmad.Ij
ustwanttoknowabout
t
hegir
lwhohasmyl i
tt
lesi
stergoi
ngcrazy
.”
Rumi
:“She’
smyl
i
ttl
esecr
et.Canwegonow?
”
Wef oll
owherout .We’
regoingtotheair
por tsi
nce
Suko’splaneisduetolandsoon.I’
vemissedhi m so
much, can’
twaittoseehim.Wedoev erythi
ngasa
famil
yher ewhichiswhyweal l
getpackedi nto
Quinn’
st r
uck.Shedri
vesoffafterwe’
reallsett
ledin.
*
***
*
Quinni
sdramatic.She’
sholdi
ngaboardwithhi
s
namewhilehavingabigsmileonherf
ace.Sheonl
y
sawpict
uresthenallofasuddenshe’
sinl
ove.Rumi
keepsgi
ggli
ngbesides.
Gi
gi:
“Soso!
”
Her unstowardshimt henhugshi
slegs.Ican’
t
beli
evehe’shere.Unli
keGigi,
we’r
epatientandwai
t
forhimtocomet ous.HehugsRumi ,
thenQuinn
beforefi
nall
yhuggingme.Islaphischeekwhenhe
breaksit
.
Suko:
“What
?”
He’
shol
dingt
hest
ri
ckencheek.
Me:“
That’
sformakingmecomehereal
lal
one.I
woul
dn’
thavemissedyoul
i
kethi
s.”
Suko:
“Damnmama.
”
Qui
nncl
ear
shert
hroat
.
Suko:
“Ohhi.You’
rePoppy
’saunt
?She’
stol
dmea
l
otabouty
ou.”
Qui
nn:
“di
dshenow?Ihopeshedi
dn’
tbadmout
h
me.
”
Suko:“Notatal
l
.Shediddownpl
ayyourbeaut
y
though.You’
remorebeaut
if
ulf
acet
of ace”
Het
akesherhandandki
ssesi
tsback,
maki
ngher
bl
ush.
Rumi
andIl
augh.
Qui
nn:
“Let
’sgonow.Themanpr
obabl
yhasj
etl
eg"
*
***
***
*

Coul
dn'tpostonVW becauseofdat
aconst
rai
nts.I
'
ll
howeversharet
heli
nkwhenIhav e.
TWENTY
★★★★
POPPY

MyexcitementisclearanditseemsGi giandaunt
Quinnarejustasexcit
edforhispresence.Rumi
doesn’
tknowhi ml i
kethatsoshe’sjustcoolwi
th
him.He’ssqueezednexttousi nt
hebackseatofthe
van.Rumiissitt
ingonthepassenger ’
sseatnextt
o
Quinn.
Me:
“So,
whathav
eImi
ssedouton?
”
Suko:“Geez,
alot.Thepastweekhasbeenmad
weir
d.DidItel
lyouaboutNositr
yingt
ogetme
arr
ested?”
Me:“Mphotol
dme.Whydi
dshedot
hat
?Andabuse?
That
’smadness!
”
Suko:“
Iti
s.Ifshe’dgonet
oareal makeupar t
ist
i
nsteadoftr
y i
ngtofakeheri
njur
ieshersel
f,Iwould
havebeeninjail
.”
Me:
“Sher
eal
l
ydoesn’
tknowwhent
ost
op,
doesshe?
Togot
osuchext
remesaf
teral
lshedi
dtoy
ou…”
Suko:“Knowingher,
shewaspr obabl
ygoi
ngto
blackmailmetotakeherback.Shewasgoi
ngto
blackmailmeonsome, ‘
takemebackandI’l
ldr
op
thecharges’
”
I
t’
shimimi
tat
inghervoi
cethatmakesmel
augh.
He’
sri
ghtt
hough,Nosii
sdeceit
ful
.
Me:“Butdidn’
tshecheatony ou?Ithoughtshe’dbe
happyyou’r
eov erconsi
deri
nghowshet r
eatedyou.
She’
stheonewhodeci dedthatbeingabl esseeis
bett
erthanbeingyourgirl
fr
iend.”
Suko:“
She’
sgoingtomissmeevenmorethant
his.
I
’m goi
ngtoworkhard,
geta9to5jobi
fIhavet
o
unti
lal
lmydreamscomet r
ue.
”
Me:“That’
smorel
i
kei
t.It
hinksher
egr
etsdoi
ngy
ou
di
rt
yalready”
Suko:“
Idoubt.Shecamet omey esterdayand
cl
aimedtobepr egnant
.Thatti
mewe’ donl
ystopped
usi
ngprotect
ionrecent
lyandallbecauseofher.She
musthavealr
eadybeenpr egnantthen.”
Me:“
Orshesawshewasl
osi
ngy
ouandwant
edt
o
t
rapyou.
”
Hel
ooksatmewi
thsqui
ntey
es.
Suko:“
Youmeanshemi
ghtbepr
egnantwi
thmy
baby?
”
Me:“Shemightbeunl
essshewasfool
isht
ohav
e
unpr
otect
edsexwithmult
ipl
epar
tner
s.”
Suko:“
Tjo.Youshoul
dhaveseenhowoneofher
ni
ggerstreat
sher.Hewasbusyfi
ddl
i
nginsi
deher
pantyi
npublic.
”
Me:“What?Nosiall
owedt
hat
?Youguy
snev
erhad
sexout
sideyourroom.
”
Suko:“Shedid.Ithi
nktheyallt
reatherl
iketr
ash
becauseevent heolderonewhol edtomyey es
bei
ngopenedt reatedherli
kethat.Hedidn’
tmind
showingheroncamer awhil
enaked.It’
sdemeaning
andIcan’tbeli
eveshe’sresor
tedt ot
hatformoney.
”
Me:“Shewasbr aggi
ngtousabouthavingajobwit
h
areti
rementpackagenotsolongago.What
happenedtothat?BecauseIdoubtt
hosepeople
giv
ehert
hatmuchmoneyt
hatshe’
dqui
therj
ob.I
knowhowtheywor
k.”
Qui
nn:
“We’
rehome”
Me:
“We’
l
lcomewhenwe’
redoneher
e.”
Thi
sismor
eimpor
tantt
hangoi
ngi
ntot
hehouse.
Suko: “
Idon’
tthi
nkI
’
llev
erbebli
ndedwhenitcomes
tolove.Nosiwasal
essonI
’l
lfor
evert
reasur
e
becausesheopenedmyeyestohowev i
lwomen
canbe. ”
Me: “
Itwasabouttime.Justalwaysr
emembert he
l
essonf r
om yourrel
at i
onshi
pandhavethatwit
hy ou.
Idon’twantyouholdingbackinarel
ati
onshi
p
becauseofher.Don’tletwhatshedi
dtoyouaffect
youli
kethat.
”
Hesmi
l
es.
Suko:
“Iwon’
t.Tel
lmewhathappenedwi
thOki
and
whyyou’
vebeenheref
orsolong.
”
Isi
gh.
Me:“Oki
.Ishoul
dhavenev
ermessedwi
ththatone.
Fi
rst
,hewantedtogetmekil
l
edbywant
ingmet o
scam aruthl
essmanthent hepl
aneIwassupposed
tobeincrashed.Hewantedmeki l
ledi
nthatcr
ash
becauseithadnosurvi
vors.Whathedidt
omy
housewashi m bei
ngpett
y.”
Suko:“Butyoucan’
tst
ayherefor
ever.Iunderstand
thati
t’
sy ourhomeandever
ythi
ngbuty oucan’thide
forev
er.EishPop,y
oushoul
dhav eneverfuckedwi t
h
him”
Me: “
Regretdoesn’
ter
aset hesi
tuati
onnorwi l
li
t
tur
nbackt hehandsofti
me.Kgosi isgoi
ngtogetr i
d
ofhimforust henwe’
l
lfi
nal l
ygettogoback.The
onl
yt hi
ngthatsucksi
sI’
llhavetostartf
rom zero”
Suko:“I
’l
lhel
pwhereIcan,don’
tworr
y.Tel
lme
aboutthi
sKgosiofyour
s.Areyousurehei
sn’
t
anotherOki?
”
Me: “
He’sbeenbl untwit
hmef rom t
hegosoi fhe
bit
es,it’
snotsomet hi
ngthat
’sgoingtocatchmeoff
guard.Ihadnoi deaOkiwantedtokil
lmewhi ch
showshowl i
tt
leIknewabouthi m.Heturnedint
o
somet hi
ngIdidn’tl
ikeal
lofasudden.Heev en…he
wantedt ohavesexagainstmyconsent.”
Suko:“
Iknewsomet
hingwasupwhenst
art
ed
druggi
ngyou.
”
Me: “Well,
I’
mj ustgladI
’m donewithhim.Mphoalso
offeredthatIstaywithhi
m until
Igetbackonmy
feet.Noof f
ensef r
iendbutI’
m notabouttoconf
ine
my selfi
nthattoil
etofyours”
Hechuckl
es.
Suko:“
Nonetaken.Iwoul
dhav ebeendemoli
shed
wit
hyourhouseifIwassti
llst
ayingt
heresomaybe
thi
ngsworkedoutastheyshouldhave.
”
Me:“
All
God.Every
thi
ngwor
kst
oget
herf
orgoodf
or
t
hosewhotr
ustinHim”
Suko:
“Amen.Canwel
eav
enow?
”
Me:“
Notsof
ast
.How’
ret
hingsbet
weeny
ouand
Mpho?”
Suko:
“Not
hing.Youshoul
dst
opt
his”
Il
augh.
Me:
“What
?”
Suko:
“Tr
yingt
ohookusup.I
twon’
twor
k.”
Me:“WhydoIhaveafeel
ingyoudi
dthatal
lony
our
own?Didsomethi
nghappen?
”
Suko:
“Somet
hingl
i
kewhat
?”
Ishr
ug.
Me:“
What’
sli
kel
ytohappenbet
weent
wopeopl
e
whohav
echemistr
y?”
Suko:
“Not
hing,
stopf
ishi
ng”
Isqui
ntmyey
es.
Me:
“Sosomet
hinghappened?Yes.Whenandhow?
”
Hesi
ghsandshr
ugs.
Suko:“Idon’
tremember
.Theonl
ythi
ngt
hatsucksi
s
thatI
…bot t
omed”
Il
augh,
clappi
ngmyhands.Thi
sIdi
dn’tseecomi
ng
andhelookst
obei
ndisbeli
efaswel
l.
Me:“Isawt
hatli
tt
lel
imp,
thoughtIwasseei
ng
t
hings.I
shehuge?”
Suko:“
Idon’
trememberhowithappenedorevenfel
t.
I’
mjustbl
ank.Iwasdr
unk.I
’
vebeenav oi
dinghim
si
nce”
Ipunchhi
sar
m.
Me:
“Ar
eyoust
upi
d?”
Suko:
“Ouch.Whydi
dyoudot
hat
?”
Me:“Youhurthi
sfeel
i
ngs.Howdoy out
hinkhef
eel
s
aboutyoughosti
nghi
m aft
ery
’al
lhadsex?Hemust
feel
li
keshitnow.”
Suko:“
I’
llsor
titoutwhenIgoback.Ij
ustneedto
cl
earmyhead.Fornow, I
’dappr
eciat
ebeingshown
whereI’
m goingtolaymyhead.
”
Isi
ght
hengetoutoft
hecarashedoes.
.
SUKOLUHLE

Anappr ovedtobeexact lywhatIneeded.I tfeel

s
l
ikeI’
vebeenasleepf oreversoImusthav ebeen
real
lyti
red.I
’v
enev erbeenonapl aneforthatlong
soitmakessense.I ’
m stil
lti
redandv eryhungr y
.
Poppyshowedmear oundtheirhousebr i
efly
.It’
snot
bigyeti
t’sspaci
ous.I’m shari
ngther oom withGigi
whom Iwassur pri
sedt olearnhasbeensl eeping
withRumi insteadofhi smom.Rumi nowshar es
withQuinnwhi lePoppyi st
heonlyonewho’ snot
shari
ng.Thegoodt hi
ngisal
lroomshav ebathrooms
soIstepint herenowandhav eabat h.Itakeaslong
asIneed, soakingwi t
hbathsalt
sthengetoutwhen
I’
m content.Myst omachhasbeengr owlingli
ke
crazy
.Igetoutoft hebathr
oom all
dressed.Ifind
Quinnintheki tchenandgreet
.
Qui
nn:
“Hi
.Ihopey
ou’
rehungr
y”
Me:
“I’
m st
arv
ing.
”
Ipul
labarchai
rint
heki
tchen.
Me:
“Wher
e’sev
ery
one?
”
Qui
nn:
“Theywentt
othemar
ket
.Rel
ax,
Idon’
tbi
te”
Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“Youl
ookl
i
keasweet
hear
tfort
hat
.”
Qui
nn:
“Exact
ly”
Webothlaugh.Sheput
sapl at
eoffoodinfr
ontof
me,al
ongwi t
haglassofj
uice.Shethensi
tsand
wat
chesmeeat .
Me:“
Doy
ouknowhowcr
eepyy
ou’
rebei
ngr
ight
now?
”
Qui
nn:“
Iknowbuty
ou’
rehot
,Ican’
tlookany
wher
e
el
se.
”
Me:
“You’
renotbady
our
sel
fma’
am.Iespeci
all
ylov
e
t
heboobs”
Shegi
ggl
es.
Qui
nn:
“Thesel
i
ttl
ethi
ngs?
”
Shewiggl
esherchest
.She’
sweari
ngawhit
e
bandeaubutt
heymove.She’
sli
kea32A.
Me:“Ar
en’
tthesemyey
es?Iknowexact
lywhatI
’
m
t
alki
ngabout”
Qui
nn:
“Wel
l
,thanky
ou.
”
Me: “
That
’smorelikei
t.Thanky
ouf
ort
hef
ood,
it’
s
exactl
ywhatIneeded”
Qui
nn:
“Mypl
easur
e”
Ifi
ndmy sel
fdiali
nghisnumber
.It
’ssomet
hingI
’
ve
contemplat
edi nthet
ubandevenwhenIwaseati
ng
wit
hQuinnf easti
ngonme.
Poppygav emeabur nerphonethatonl
yhadhi s
numbersincehe’stheonlyoneI
’mi ncontactwit
h
thatsi
de.Ican’
tsaythesameaboutmyf amilyandI
won’tbeherelongenoughforZeldatomissme.
Mpho:
“MphoBl
oom,
hel
l
o?”
Me:
“MrBl
oom,
it’
sSukoher
e.”
He’
ssil
entforaboutami
nut
ebutIcanhearhi
s
br
eathi
ng.
Me:
“I’
m sor
ry”
Mpho:
“Apol
ogyaccept
ed.I
sther
eany
thi
ngel
se?
”
Me: “ComeonMpho.Iknowy ou’
remadatmeandI
getit.Iactedli
keajerkandshouldhavedealtwi
th
thi
ngsbet ter,
I’
m sorr
y.Tryseei
ngthisf
rom my
perspectiv
e.Iwakeupt hefoll
owingmorningwit
han
achingpost ur
ewithnomemor yofhowithappened.
Itr
iedaskingbuty oudidn’
thumorme”
Mpho:
“Ist
hatal
l
?”
Me:“Whyar
eyoubei
ngsodamndi
ff
icul
t?I
’
mreal
l
y
sor
ry.
”
Mpho:
“Iaccept
edy
ourapol
ogy
.I’
mfai
l
ingt
o
under
standwhatmor
eyouwantf
rom meTi
nto”
Me:
“Whatdi
dyoucal
lme?
”
Mpho:“
You’
renotdeaf
,babydaddy
.Now,
ift
her
e’s
any
thi
ngel
se…”
Me:“What
’swi
ththeat
ti
tude?I’
mtheonewho
bot
tomedsoIshoul
dbet heonewi
th–”
Yep,hehunguponme.Ilookatmyphonein
disbel
ieft
hensi
gh.Heaccept
edmyapologyso
that’
ssomethi
ng,r
ight
?
*
***
*
Poppy
:“Whatdi
dyougetupt
oinmyabsence?
”
Me:
“Hel
l
otoy
out
oo”
Shef
rowns.
Poppy
:“OK,
whyar
eyoudown?
”
Me:
“Yourpl
andi
dn’
twor
k.”
Poppy
:“Whatpl
an?
”
Sheact
ual
l
ysoundscl
uel
ess.
Me:
“Wi
thy
ouraunt
?”
Shel
aughs.
Poppy
:“Idon’
tneedtoint
erf
erei
nthat
.Qui
nnal
way
s
get
swhatshewant s”
Me:“Icoul
ddowithbl
owingof
fsomesteam t
hough.
It
ri
edcalli
nghi
m buthegavemeatt
it
ude”
Poppy
:“Idon’
tbl
amehi
m.”
Me:“
Hecall
edmebabydaddy.Healreadybeli
eves
t
hatNosi
iscar
ryi
ngmychi
ld.Hedidn’tevenask”
Poppy
:“Heknowsaboutt
hat
?”
Inod.
Me:
“Hecamet
omypl
aceandki
ndofhear
dhersay
t
hat
.”
Poppy:“
That
’s…bad.Butdon’
tgi
veuponhi
m.Keep
tr
yinghi
m,he’l
lcomearound.
”
Me:
“Heal
socal
l
edmeTi
nto”
Shechuckl
es.
Poppy:
“That’
showIi
ntr
oducedy
out
hatf
ir
stt
ime,
remember?”
Ishakemyhead.
Me:“He’
snevercall
edmethatbef
ore.Ther
e’sj
ust
somethi
ngaboutthewayhesaidi
tthatmademe
nost
algi
c.”
Poppy
:“That
’swei
rd.Soy
out
hinky
oumi
ghthav
e
metbefor
e?”
Isi
gh.
Me:
“I’
m notsur
e.Idon’
tthi
nkwehav
ebut
…”
Ishr
ug.
Poppy
:“Wantmet
olooki
ntoi
t?”
Me:“Andri
skOki
findi
ngy
ou?No.Thi
sisn’
tanybi
g
ofadeal
.”
Poppy:“
Mm,OK.Let
’sgoout
sidet
othesl
i
desand
beyoung”
Il
augh.
Me:“Ah,youarey
oung.Youl
i
keact
ingl
i
key
ou’
re
notateenager
”
Shelaughsandpul
l
smyhandt ogetmeofft
he
couch.Ifol
l
owherout
sidewi
thourhands
i
nter
twi
ned.
*
***
**
I'
venot
icedt
hatIdon'
tgetcommentsunlessIask
fort
hem sol
et'
scommentguy s.I
fyoucan,al
so
commentontheprevi
ousinser
t.
TWENTYONE
(
Twomont
hsl
ater
)
★★★★★★★★
SUKOLUHLE

Iarri
vehomet ir
ed, ev
er ypartofmeachi ngaft
er
standingforsol ong.Ilookatt het i
psImadet onight
andi t
’senoughcompensat i
onf orthestrif
e.Ifound
ajobt woweeksbackasapet rol at
tendant.Iwas
refer
redbyanei ghbor,whot oldmehesawapost er
thereaboutthem l ookingforone.Wentt hereand
washi redont hespot .It
’sajobt hatpaysf i
ne,Ican’
t
compl ainbecausesi t
tingathomei sn’tgoingtoearn
meanymoney .
Ast i
redasIam, I’
m notsleeping.I’
m goingout
toni
ghtwithPetro,theguyfrom nextdoor .Asifon
cue,heknocksjustaf t
erIsitdown.I’m sti
llr
enti
ng
atthesameplace, andIhav en’tseenNosi si
nceshe
droppedthepregnancybombonme.I ’
m gladI
haven’t
.I’
ver
eallymov edonf r
om herandj ustdoi
ng
me, r
andom sexev eryoncei nawhi l
ewhi chcouldbe
onceaweek.Idon’ tthi
nkI’mreadytocommi t
.I
havenospacef orthati
nmyl i
fe.Ial
sohaven’tseen
Mphosi nceIstar
tedwor ki
ng.HeunderstoodIhav e
toworkandwi shedmeal l
thebest.Thi
ngsar efi
ne
betweenus.It’
sli
kewenev erhadsexwhichIguess
i
sgoodi sIdon’thaveanymemor yofit
.I’
mj ustglad
we’refi
ne.Someoneknocksonmydoorj ustasI’m
sprayi
ngmycol ogne.
Me:
“I’
m al
mostdoneman!
”
It
akethebasi
nfi
l
ledwi
thdi
rt
ywat
ert
hengoout
.It
’s
Pet
ro.
Pet
ro:
“Of
edi
tse?
”(Youdone?
)
Me:
“Letmej
ustgodi
sposet
his”
HenodssoIl
eav
etodoj
ustt
hat
.
Ihavethi
shabitofcal
l
ingMphoEv er
ytimeI’
m about
togoout.Itdoesn’
tmatt
erwhetheri
t’
swork,t
otown
ortogeti
tdown.Heanswer sonthesecondri
ng.
Me:
“I’
m aboutt
oleav
e”
Mpho:
“Oh,
hel
l
otoy
out
oo.
”
Me:
“Awe.
”
Mpho:
“Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
”
Me:
“Out
.It
hinkwe’
l
ljustbel
ocal
.”
Mpho:
“Just
…keepy
ourl
ocat
ionon”
Me:
“Any
thi
ngel
sedaddy
?”
Mpho:
“Hav
efun”
Me:
“Ipl
ant
o.Ther
e’snowayI
’
m sl
eepi
ngal
one
t
oni
ght”
Ti,
Ti,Ti
.Hehangsuponme.Ichuckl
etomy
sel
fasI
shovemyphoneint
omypocket.
Me:
“Now,
wecango.
”
Wedon’ tgof arfrom wher ewe’ restayi
ng,j
ustsome
tavern.Now, Ihatetaver nsbecauseoft hekindof
womenf oundt here.They ’
rejustusuall
yunhy gienic
andt oor at
chetforme, especiall
ytheseonesi nthe
vil
lage.Therear ethosewhosmokeboxeranddr ink
cartonsev ery
dayl i
ket heyhav enof ut
ure.I
’
m
speakingofwomeni nt heir20sand30s.The
studentsdon’ tcomeher e.Theygot osophisticated
placeslikePHnet wor ksandt heli
kes.
Wegetaf
ewbeer
sasIscant
hepl
ace.Thecr
owd
l
ooksdi
ff
erentt
oni
ght.Ther
ear
eaf
ewIcant
ake
homewit
h,myroom t
hatis.
Pet
ro:“
Stockoset
let
sev
andag”(
Ther
e’sal
otof
chi
ckshere”
Me:“
Yahbutt
heseonesl
ookl
i
ket
hey
’l
lwantv
ula
ml
omo”
Hel
aughs.
Petr
o:“Qwal
a.Gaol
apekesekgoa?
”(Don’
tyouget
ti
redofEngl
i
sh)
Ichuckl
ed.
Me:
“Nop.Besi
des,
it’
swhatt
heyl
ove”
Iwi nkatsomehoneygi vi
ngmet heey
e.She’
sbeen
stealingglancesatmeorsoIthoughtbecausewhen
Icat chherlooki
ng,shedoesn’
tlookaway.I
’v
ejust
gother ebuthey ,
whoam Itodenyhersome
attention?
Igoovert
oheraft
erfi
nishi
ngmyfir
stbeer
.She’
s
al
one,
unli
ketheother
swho’vecomeinacrew.
Me:
“Hey
”
Her
:“Hi
”
Me:
“MayI
?”
Ir
efert
othechai
rwi
thmyeyesandshenods.She’
s
dr
inki
ngStr
ongbowr
edber
ri
es.
Me:
“CanIbuyy
ouadr
ink?
”
Her
:“I
’
drat
herbuyy
ouone.Bl
ack?
”
Ichuckl
e.
Me:“
I’
mf l
att
eredbutno.Whycan’
tIbet
heonet
o
buyf
oryou?”
Her:“
BecauseIwantyoutogohomewi thmeand
notvi
ceversa.Don’
tyouguy
sdot hat?Buyagir
la
coupl
eofdrinkssoshecanleav
ewi t
hy ou?”
Il
eanbackonmychai randreal
lyl
ookather.She’s
weari
ngbl
ackpants,abandeauwithablackdenim
j
acketontop.She’
spair
editwit
hblackblockheels
andhashermakeuponf l
eek.She’
scaramel ski
nned,
ali
tt
leonthethi
ckside.
Ismi
l
e.
Me:
“Bl
acki
tist
hen.I
’
m Sukobyt
heway
”
Iext
endmyhandt
owar
dsher
.
Her
:“Jeannet
te”
Sheshakesi
tthenki
ssesi
tsback.Il
augh.
Me:
“Your
eal
l
ykeenonf
ucki
ngme,
aren’
tyou?
”
Jean:
“You’
rehot
”
Me:
“Thanks”
Jean:
“Letmegogett
hatdr
ink”
Ilethergo.Imean,Idon’
tmindhertakingcharge.I
f
shewant stobetheoneinthelead,si
ngingMiss
Independentt
henwhoam It ostandagainstt
hat?
Shecomesbackwi
tht
hedr
inks.I
t’
sasi
xpackf
or
me.
Jean:
“Iwantt
ogety
oudr
unk”
Iscof
fed.
Me:“I
t’
sgoi
ngt
otakeal
otmor
eformet
oev
enget
t
ipsy
”
Jean:
“Oh,
Idon’
tmi
nd.Mycar
disl
i
mit
less”
Me:
“Whychooset
hispl
ace?
”
Jean:“
Ididn’
tfeel
li
kegoi
ngoutwi
thmycousi
ns.
They’
retoo…urghforme”
Me:
“What
’st
hatsupposedt
omean?
”
Jean:“
They’r
etypi
cal
slayqueenswhogooutt o
spendothermen’smoneyasifthey
’rebr
oke.
”
Me:
“Yesgi
rl
”
Shel
aughs.
Jean:
“Don’
t”
Me:
“Wel
eav
ingaf
tert
his”
Shenodswi
thagri
n.Petr
owil
lhavetofor
giv
eme.I
di
dn’
tthi
nkI
’
llwantt
oleavet
hisear
lybutwhatev
er.
.
POPPY

I’
vegrownat tachedtothi
splacesoithurt
st hat
we’releav
ing.I’
vehadf unher
e,whichInever
thoughtIwill
.Quinnhasbeenamazi ng,
takinggood
careofGigiandRumi aswell
.I’
devengottenmy sel
f
ajobatal ocalhairsal
on.Mostofusherehav elong
hairbutpeoplesurpr
isingl
ysti
l
lputonwi gs.OK, i
t’
s
notasur pri
sebecauseIdoputt hem onmostt imes
butnotwhenIwasher e.Inowknowhowt osewi t,
hav i
nggottenal
lthetraini
ngIneededsoI ’
mr eadyto
startthatwhenIgetthere.We’
reallcry
ingatthe
ai
r port.
Quin:“Don’
tbeastr
angerOK.Vi
sitatl
eastoncea
year.Il
oveyoual
lsomuch.”
Me:
“Iwon’
t”
Quinn:“Andcomewi
tht
hatboysoIcanhav
eapi
ece
ofhim agai
n”
Ilaugh.Theyhadussl
eepi
ngwi
thearpl
ugsbecause
theycouldn’
tkeepi
tdown.
Shekissesall ofus.Sukowaswi thusf orabouta
montht henleft.I
twasgr eatbondingagai nandIdo
l
ookfor wardtoseei nghi
m agai n.Hesentmea
pi
ctur
el astnightandhel ookedhappy .Hewasout
wit
hsomewoman.Iwon’ tbotherkeepi ngtrackof
hi
sskirtsbutIdi dtell
himt okeepi tsafe.He’slucky
Nosididn’ti
nfecthim wit
hany thing.Hecan’ tput
hi
msel finasituati
onwher ehe’llbescar edtotest
agai
n.
Wef i
nall
ycollectourselvesandpar tway swit
h
Quinn.There’
saduf f
lebagf il
ledwithcontai
nersof
theassort
mentoff oodshe’ smadeus.Ishoul dbe
happyaboutthi sli
bertythatI’
v egai
ned.I’
m no
l
ongerindebtedt oOki ,
Iwon’ tseehim oranyt
hing
butIremembert hathe’sdestroyedmyhouse.It hi
nk
ofthememor iesmadei nther e,t
hepictur
eswe’d
keptifZuri
andI .Yes, I
’vemour nedheragainbutthe
thoughtofnev erseeingthem hur t
s.
Wegeti ntothej
etKgosi hir
edforus.Hehasf amily
commi tmentswhichiswhyhe’ snother e.I’
m glad
heisn’t
.Themani ssomeone’ shusbandandev en
thoughhe’scri
ed(notli
terall
y)aboutunr equit
edlov e,
hehast ohonorhisvows.I’m sti
llwait
ingf ortheday
he’sgoingtodemandsomesor tofcompensat i
on
forall
he’sdoneforus.Fornow, I
’m goingtothrivein
thi
snewf oundli
bert
y.
Me:
“Your
eadyt
ogobackhome?
”
Rumi
nodswi
thabi
ggr
in.
Rumi
:“I
’
mreadyt
ofi
nal
l
ybeaki
d”
Me:
“Ir
eal
l
yhady
ourl
i
fei
ndanger
,di
dn’
tI?
”
Sheshakesherheadal
i
ttl
evi
gor
ousl
y.
Rumi:“NoA…si s.That
’snotwhatImean.I’
m
grat
efulf
oreverythi
ngyou’
vetaughtmebecauseI
knowI’l
lbeabletosurvi
vethi
scruelwor
ld.I
’mjust
happyIwon’thavetohideanymoreandIcannowdo
whatkidsmyagedo. ”
Ismi
l
e.
Me:“
I’
m gl
adtoo.I
’
m al
sohappywe’
real
lgoi
ngt
o
bei
nonehouseandbeafamil
y.”
Rumi:“Metoo.Thankyouforwhat
every
oudi
dfor
thi
s.You’
reanamaz i
ngsist
er”
ShehugsmeandIr eturnit
.Gigiseemst obeti
red
becausehesl eptimmedi at
elyaftertakeoff.We’r
e
notusingaj etbutanor malfl
ight.Idon’tmind
though,aslongaswemakei tsafe.IlookForwardto
seeingbothmyf r
iends.Ionl
yt ol
dMphot hatI’
m
comi ngbecauseIwantt osurpr i
seSuko.
*
***
*
He’
swai
ti
ngf
oruswi
thabi
gsmi
l
e.I
’
vemi
ssedt
his
guy.Wehaven’
tseeneachotherinwhat,
three
monthsormore?Yes.Ihughim soti
ghtthenki
ss
hi
m all
overthef
aceafterbr
eakingi
t.
Me:
“Imi
ssedy
ousomuch”
Mpho:
“Imi
ssedy
out
oo.Youev
engr
ewy
ourhai
r”
Hepul
l
sacur
lthenl
et’
sgo.
Mpho:
“Thi
sisy
oursi
ster
?”
Inod.
Me:“
Hernamei
sRumi .Baby,meetMpho.We’
l
lbe
st
ayi
ngwit
hhi
m unt
ilIgetbackonmyf eet
”
Rumi
:“Hi
”
Theyhug.HetakesGigif
rom myar
msandkisses
hi
m howI’vej
ustkissedhi
m.Myson’sgi
ggl
esfil
lmy
ear
s.
Mpho:
“Ihi
redt
heseguy
stohel
pwi
tht
hel
uggage”
Il
ookbehi
ndhi
mtot
heguy
she’
stal
ki
ngaboutand
cl
apmyhands.
Me:“
Thesepeopl
einGucci
loaf
ersandRol
ex
wat
ches?”
Mpho:
“Yeah,
they
’remyguy
s”
Therearethreebutonecat chesmyattent
ion.Idon’
t
usual
lygof orlooksbuthishandsomenessis
al
luri
ng.Idon’tlookatthem fort
oolongthough.
Me:
“Whatdi
dImi
ssouton?
”
Iaskaf
terwegeti
ntohi
scar
.
Mpho:
“Not
hingmuchr
eal
l
y”
Me:
“Di
dyouandSuko…y
ouknow”
Hescof
fsandshakeshi
shead.
Mpho:
“Nope.Idon’
tseet
hathappeni
ngagai
n”
Me:“Iwoul
dn’tbesosureifIwereyou.Yourki
ndof
chemist
rycan’
teasi
lybeignored”
Mpho:
“Wedon’
thav
echemi st
ry.I
thappenedand
webot
hmovedonfrom i
t”
Me:
“Ohbuty
ou’
dbesocut
etoget
her
”
Hedoesn’
tsayany
thi
ngt
othat
.Hi
s‘hi
redhel
p’hav
e
t
hei
rowncars.
Mpho:
“Somemancameov
ert
omypl
acel
astni
ght
andbr
oughtsomet
hingsf
ory
ou.Kgosi
”
Me:
“Hedi
d?”
Mpho:“Yes.Appar
ent
lyt
heybel
ongedt
oyour
si
ster
.”
Me:
“Kgosi
hadmysi
ster
’st
hings?Whatt
hings?
”
Mpho:“
Iputt
hem i
nyourr
oom.You’
l
lseet
hem
t
hen”
I
t’
swhatI’
mthinki
ngofdur
ingt
herestoft
hedr
ive.
Whatar
etheyandwheredi
dhegetthem?
Ican’tbeli
evethi
sismyfirstt
imecominghere.He
staysinLeopardParkinwhatseemslikeagolf
estate.Theyardi
shugeandt hehouseatri
plestor
ey.
Mymout hli
ter
all
ydrops.
Me:
“Justhowmuchmoneydoy
ouhav
e?”
Mpho:
“Enough”
Rumi
:“Wow”
Il
ookbackather
.
Me:
“Ri
ght
?Thi
sisbeaut
if
ul.I
’
m pr
oudofy
ouman”
Isi
dehughi
m.
Wegetoutoft
hecarandf
oll
owhi
minsi
de.
Me:
“Wow”
From chandeli
ershangi
ngfrom t
hecei
li
ng,
beaut
iful
Afri
canportrai
tsonthewalltohi
smarbl
efl
oors,
not
toment i
onwoodenst ai
rs.I
t’
sbeaut
if
ul.
Me:
“Il
ovet
his.
”
Mpho:
“Thanky
ou”
Me:“Areyouguyshungr
y?Thecookpr
epar
ed
somethingEr
it
reanf
oryouguys”
Rumi
:“Yes!
”
She’
sal
readymaki
ngherwayt
othedi
ninghal
l
.
Me:“Pleaseshowmemyr
oom.Iwantt
oseewhat
Kgosibroughtov
er”
Henods.
Mpho:
“Ofcour
se”
Gi
gifol
lowsRumi whil
ewegot
other
oom whi
chi
s
onthegroundf
loor.
Mpho:“
Thisisi
t.Ichoseonedownstai
rsbecauseof
Gi
gi.Myhousei
sn’treal
lychi
l
dfri
endly
”
Me:
“It
’sOK.Thanky
ou”
Heopenst
hedoorbutdoesn’
tgoi
n.
Mpho:
“I’
l
lgi
vey
ouy
ourmoment
”
Ismi
l
e.
Me:
“Thanky
ou”
*
***
***
Comment
sandshar
eswi
l
lbeappr
eci
ated.
I'
m al
sopleasedt
oannouncethatt
heposting
schedul
eisbackonsowe'l
lhaveaninser
ttomor
row.
Thebonusonewil
lbeonWednesdayi
fthet
argeton
Mondayisr
eached.
TWENTY-
TWO
★★★★★★★★★
POPPY

Ispendaboutt wentymi nutes,

ifnotmor e
contempl at
ingtoopenoneoft heboxes.I’
m
confusedabouthowKgosi managedt ogetthese
thi
ngs.Ithinkit
’stheoneswhi chwer einherroom.I
f
I’
mr ight,
thenitmeanshemi ghthaveknownOki
wasgoi ngt odowhathedi dwhi chmakesme
quest i
onhowexact l
y ?DidOki’
st eam hav
ear at?Or
may behej ust
…predictedit
?
Isighandwal kclosertowher etheyar e.I’
vebeen
standingont hesamespotf oralongt imenow.Iget
thefirstboxwhi chisthesmal lest.Iopeni tandsigh
whenIpeeki nsi
de.I t
’sherjewelrycollecti
on.She
hadmadebeadswhi chhadal lournames.How
comeInev erwentt hroughanyofhert hings?Before
Igoi ntoitanyf urther,Itakemyphoneoutanddi al
Kgosi ’
snumber .Hehast odosomeser ious
explaining.It
’sriskycal l
i
nghi mlikethisbecausehi s
wifemightpickupandt helastthi
ngIwanti sto
wreakhav ocinhismarri
age.Icareabouthim and
wouldn’
twantt ocrackwhathe’sbui l
tforsolong.
I
’mr eal
lynotthatki
ndofper sonwho’ spett
yand
don’tgoaroundhurti
ngpeopl eIcareaboutand
tr
yingtodestroywhatthey’
v ebuil
t.Ikeepmy
di
stancewhenIneedt o.
Kgosi
:“Poppy
”
Me:
“Hi
,howar
eyou?
”
Kgosi
:“Oh,
I’
m good…t
hanky
ou”
Ichuckl
e.Her
eal
l
ysoundsl
i
keIwasn’
texpect
ing
that
.
Me:
“Ar
eyounotusedt
opeopl
echecki
ngony
ou?
”
Kgosi
:“Whowouldcheckonar ut
hless
motherf
uckerl
i
kemy sel
f?Idon’
texpectnoonet
o.
I
t’
sjustrar
e”
Me:
“Idon’
tcar
eaboutal
loft
hat
,justy
ou.
”
Kgosi
:“Thanky
ouPoppy
,Iappr
eci
ate”
Me:
“Andmodest
ydoesn’
tsui
tyou.
”
Hechuckl
es.
Kgosi
:“Onl
ywit
hy ouandmyki
dssoconsi
der
your
sel
fspeci
al”
Me: “
Oht hatIam.Any
way,howdi
dyougetmy
si
ster’
sthings?Di
dyouknowOkiwasgoi
ngto
demolishmyhouse?Whereishe?
”
Kgosi:“
Iwaskeepinganey eonhim,hadpl anteda
rat
.Imadesur etohavesomeonegett hem bef or
e
hedidbecauseIhadaf eeli
ngtherewerethingsof
senti
mentalval
ueinthere.Didyoueveropent he
duff
lebagIgav eyou?
”
Me:
“Ihav
en’
t.
”
Kgosi
:“Al
ri
ght.I
’
m goi
ngtosaythi
sagainPoppy,my
i
ntent
ionsar
ealwayscl
ear
.IfIhadul
ter
iormoti
ves,
you’
dknow.Anythi
ngel
se?”
Me:
“Uhm,
no”
Kgosi
:“Andwel
comeback.Enj
oyy
ourf
reedom”
Me:
“Ipl
ant
o.”
Kgosi
:“Thi
siswher
eitendsf
orus.Iwi
shy
oual
lthe
best
.”
Me:
“Wai
t,what
?”
Kgosi
:“I
’
m amar r
iedmanPoppy
.Ican’
tfal
lfory
ou
anymorethanIhavenow.
”
Me:
“Oh”
Kgosi:
“Don’
tdothatPoppy.Let
ti
nggoofyou
al
readyhurt
sbutit
’swhat’
sbestfort
hebot
hofus.
Goodbye”
I
’m ali
tt
lemelancholi
cafterthecall
.ImeanIcare
Abouthim,butIthi
nkI’
m alsoal i
tt
leatt
ached.If
eel
i
tinmyhear tbuthe’
sright,i
t’
sforthebest
.Iendup
taki
nganap.I’l
leataft
erit.
.
SUKOLUHLE

Thisgi
rlhasener gy
.Iwokeupwi thmywai stpainf
ul,
nottomentiont heachinginmyback.I’m noteven
goingt
oment i
onhowmypeni sfeel
.I’
vecomet o
knowwheni t’shim knocki
ngandthemoodImi ght
fi
ndhimi nwhenIopent hedoor
.Itsoundsl i
kehe’s
madatmef rom howhe’ sbangi
ngont hedoor .
Me:
“I’
m comi
ng,
damn!
”
Hedoesnotcomei naft
erIopenwhichi
sgood
becauseJeanisstil
lspr
awledoutonmybed.Icl
ose
thedooraft
ersteppingout
.
Me:
“Youl
ookgood”
Mpho:
“Iknow.Ar
eyoubusy
?”
Me:
“Fory
ou?No.what
’sup?
”
Mpho:
“Ineedy
out
ocomewi
thmet
omyhouse.
”
Me:
“Now?
”
Mpho:
“I’
m act
ual
l
yher
etogety
ou.
”
Me:
“Wecanl
eav
e”
Mpho:“
Inyourboxer
swi
thscr
atchesandhi
ckey
sal
l
ov
eryourchest
?”
Iscr
atchmyhead.Whyam If
eel
i
ngbad?
Me:
“I’
m…sor
ry?
”
Mpho:
“Whatf
or?
”
Ishr
ug.
Me:
“Ij
ustf
eel
theneedt
o.I
’
llgr
absomecl
othes
qui
ckl
ythenshoweraty
ourpl
ace.
”
Mpho:“Youtrustherenought
oleav
eheral
onei
n
yourr
oom? ”
Me:
“Leav
ewho?
”
Helooksatmeblankl
y.If
eel
li
keaki
dcaught
st
eali
ngcandyorsomethi
ng.
Me:
“ St
oplooki
ngatmeli
ket
hat
.Youmaki
ngme
f
eelbadandIhavenoi
deawhy”
Hescof
fs.
Mpho:“Thr
owherout,grabsomecl
othes,
comeout
t
henlock.I
t’
sthatsi
mple”
Me:
“Ri
ght
,I’
m comi
ngback.
”
She’
sawakewhenIgobacki
nsi
det
her
oom.She’
s
gett
ingdr
essedev
en.
Jean:
“Thanksfortheamazi
ngnightanddaySuko.
Wecankeepdoi ngthi
sunti
lyoufi
ndsomeoneyou
wanttoset
tlewith.
”
Me:
“That
’sgoi
ngt
otakeagesman”
Jean:
“SO,
wecanbeexcl
usi
veunt
ilt
hen?
”
Ichuckl
e.
Me:“We’
ll
see.Youdidgi
vemeaprett
yroughnight
andmorni
ng,def
ini
tel
ysomet
hingI
’
dwantar epeat
of.
”
Jean:
“Gr
eta.Letmegety
ournumber
”
Shegi
vesmeherphonet henIt
ypei
tin.shet
ri
es
goi
ngforaki
ssbutIshakemyhead.Notwhen
Mphoisout
side.I
tjustf
eelswr
ong.
Jean:
“What
?”
Me:
“YouknowIhav ecompany,someonewai
ti
ngf
or
meout
side.Youneedtoleav
e.”
Shef
rowns.
Jean:“
DamnbutI
’
llcal
lyou.Bet
terpi
ckupwhenI
cal
l.
”
Me:
“Iwi
l
l”
I
’mr i
ghtonhertailwithaduf
fl
ebag.Idon’
teven
bothergetti
ngdressed.Themanonthedri
ver
’sseat
doesn’tseem pl
eased.
Me:
“Canwego?
”
Mpho:
“Don’
tfor
cemyhandSuko”
Me:
“Howam Idoi
ngt
hat
?”
Hescof
fst
henst
art
sthecar
.
*
***
*
“
Oooooh!
”
It
’sMose’svoi
cesomewhereinsi
dethehouse.I
t’
s
beentransf
ormedintoanal
lwhit
eandgoldtheme,
ever
ythingj
ustsoclassy
.
Me:
“What
’sgoi
ngon?
”
Mpho:
“It
’sal
i
ttl
egett
oget
her
”
Me: “
Butyoudidn’
ttel
lmet
her
e’sat
heme.It
ook
casualcl
othes”
Mpho:“
We’renotexact
lygoi
nganywhere.Besi
des,
t
heclot
hesarefortomorr
ow.Igotyousomethingi
n
myroom.”
Hegi
vesmehi
skey
s.
Me:
“I’
m noty
ourbi
tchMpho”
Hef
li
nchesatt
hepr
ofani
tyt
hensi
ghs.
Mpho: “
Don’ty
ougettir
edofyourbi
gego?I
t’
sjust
cl
othes.Theydidn’
tev
endentmywallet
”
Me:“Andy oujustbadt
othr
owthatatme,didn’
tyou?
Youdon’talwayshavetomakemefeelshi
tt
yabout
not
-
Mpho: “I
’
m oneofyourbi
ggestsuppor
ter
sSukobut
you’l
lneverseet
hat
.Justgoandstoptry
ingt
o
argue.
”
Icl
i
ckmyt
ongue.
Me:
“Fucky
ou”
Mpho:
“Ri
ghtbackaty
ou”
Ihal
tandt
urnwi
thar
aisedey
ebr
ow.
Me:
“Di
dyouj
ust…y
oudon’
tcur
se”
Mpho:
“Imeantt
hatl
i
ter
all
ybutl
eav
e.”
Me:
“You’
renotdr
essed.Youwear
ingbl
uedeni
ms”
Mpho:
“Youst
il
lher
e?”
Ihuf
fasIpr
oceedt
othest
air
case.
.
POPPY

Li
ghtshaki
ngiswhatwakesmeup.Ihav
enoi
dea
howlongI’
vesl
ept
.IopenmyeyestoMphowho
smil
esatme.
Me:
“Hey
”
Isi
tupwhi
l
erubbi
ngmyey
es.
Me:
“Di
dIsl
eepf
ort
hatl
ong?
”
Mpho:“
Yesbutyouneededtherest
.Iwantyouto
shower
,weart
hatdr
esswiththeshoesthencome
out.
”
Il
ookt
owher
ehe’
spoi
nti
ng.
Me:
“Yougotmecl
othes?
”
Mpho:
“itwasn’
tme.
”
Me:“Who’
sget
ti
ngmar
ri
ed?Whyar
eyoudr
essedi
n
whi
te?”
Mpho:
“Goshowert
hencomef
indout
”
I
t’
shar
dformenott
othi
nkwhenI
’
mint
heshower
.I
al
wayshavemyli
fefi
gur
edoutbutIf
indmy
sel
fa
l
it
tl
econfl
i
ctedwheni
tcomestoKgosi.
Imanaget of
ini
shhowev ert
henIr ememberhe
didn’tt
ellmeaboutOki .Idohopehe’ sper manentl
y
gottenridofhim becauseIdon’ tseemy selfnot
doingitifIev
engett osmel lhim.Mphoi sn’tinmy
room.Thedr essisbeaut i
ful
.It’
sawhi teabov ethe
kneessi l
kwrapdr esswithabeaut i
ful
V- neckshape.
It
’spairedwit
hnudeper pexblockheels.
IspraysomeperfumewhenI ’m done.Ial
sodomy
eyebrowsandputonsomel ipgl
oss.Ifixmyedges,
grabthepursematchedwit
ht hedressandgoout
afterf
il
li
ngi
twithessent
ial
s.
Mymout hhangsopenwhenIar ri
veattheliv
ing
room whichhasbeent ransfor
med.Ther eareabout
sixhighroundtabl
eswi thwhit
er osebanquetswit
h
thesamef lowerpetal
sspr i
nkl
edont hefloor.
Classic,
mat r
imonialmusicisplayi
ng.
Suko:
“Poppy
?”
Hecomestomeandwehug.Imi
ssedhi
m somuch.
Heki
ssesmyfor
eheadwhenwebr
eakit
.
Suko:“Whydi
dn’
tyout
ellmeyou’
reback?Iwoul
d
havecometofet
chyou.Youl
ookbeauti
fulbyt
he
way.”
Me:
“You’
renotsobady
our
sel
f”
Heshr
ugs.
Suko:
“Al
lMpho.Thi
sisZur
i’
spar
ty”
Myey
esbul
geout
.
Me:“
Iti
s?Imeani
texpl
ainsthet
hemebutwow.
Mphoreal
l
ydi
dthi
sforme? ”
Myey
esar
ewat
ery
.Iwasn’
texpect
ingt
his.
Mpho:
“Lov
eit
?”
It
urnandengul
fhi
minahug.
Me:
“Thanky
ousomuch.
”
Thetearskeepfal
l
ingwhi
chmakesmegrateful
that
Idi
dn’tputonli
ner
.Hecupsmycheeksaf
ter.
Mpho:
“It
’smypl
easur
e.”
Heki
ssesmyf
oreheadaf
tert
henl
et’
sgo.
Suko:
“Readyt
opar
ty?
”
Il
ookar
oundatt
heguest
s.
Me:
“Hel
lyeah.
”
It
’sRumiandusplusMpho’sf
ri
endswhom fet
ched
usfrom t
heai
rport
.Event
hathandsomeoneishere
andhelooksexact
lyl
i
kewhatIneedtofor
getabout
Kgosi.
*
***
***
**
I
t'
sunedi
tedsoexcuseanyer
ror
s.
TARGET:
60COMMENTS
FORBONUS:
50SHARES.
BONUS
★★★★
MPHO

Thepartywentwellsowe’
renowatthepooland
sortofj
ustr
elaxi
ng.Moseisonmylap,busy
thr
owingherbarel
yther
eassonmyf ace.
Me:
“Youreal
l
ywantt
hatboy
fri
endofy
our
stoki
l
l
mehuh?
”
Shel
aughs.
Mose:“ Tr
ustme,hewoul
dn’tcar
e.He’donlygi
vea
damni fweeversl
eptt
ogetherwhichwouldnever
happen.”
Suko:
“Yeah,
nev
er.
”
Me:
“Whyar
eyoueav
esdr
oppi
ng?
”
Suko:
“I’
m st
il
lri
ghtt
hough.
”
Heshr
ugs.Het
hinksheknowsmesomuch.
Mose:
“It
hinkweshoul
dpl
ayagame,
Khany
ineeds
t
oloosenup.
”
Khany
i:“
Don’
tyoudar
e.”
Shel aughsattheman’ smiddl
efinger.Khanyii
sa
l
awy er.Imethim whenIwashel pinghim choosea
houseaf terhi
sgirl
fri
endpassedonandhemov ed
here.Shewasf r
om heresohewant edt obecloser
tohergr ave.Ourfr
iendshi
psortofstemmedf rom
there.
Poppy
:“I
’
vebeenwonder
ingabouthi
sname.
”
Sheli
cksherli
pswhichhasmechuckl
i
ng.I
fonl
yshe
knewhowt hi
soneis.
Me:
“It
hinky
oushoul
dleav
eitt
her
e.”
Poppy
:“Why
?”
Khanyi
:“No,st
op.Ther
e’snooneaboutt
otal
kabout
melikeI
’m nother
e.What’
supPoppy?”
Irai
semyhandi
nsur
render
.Theybot
hgr
own,
I
guess.
Mose:“
Iknowwhat’sgoi
ngtomakethi
sni
ght
i
nter
est
ing.Let
’spl
aynev
erhav
eIever”
Igr
oan.I
tneverendswellf
ormewi t
hthi
sgame,
but
Li
ndoandtheothersseem keen.
Shesi
tsupandgi
ggl
es.
Mose:“
OK,Ithinkweal l
knowwhat’
sup.I
’m goi
ng
toaskaquesti
onandi fyouhav
e,y
outakeashot.
Thi
sisthedi
rtyver
sion.”
She’sscr oll
ingt hroughherphoneasshesay st hi
s.
So,we’ resitti
ngont hepool si
deandhav emadesor t
ofaci rclewi t
hourchai selounges.I
t’
sCain, Lindo,
Poppy ,Khany i,Suko, Moseandmesoi t
’sjustsev en
ofus.I’m sur pri
sedCai ndidn’tbri
ngNosi butIcan’ t
exactlyaskt hat .I
’m mor esurpri
sedthathe’snot
withagi rlatall.We’ veputtheicebucketont hefloor
.
Shegr absabot tl
eofTanquer ayginfrom i
t.Weal l
havegl assesonhand.Thegi r
lsaretheoneswho’ ve
beendr i
nkingspar kl
i
ngwi newhi l
ewedr ankv odka.
Sher efil
lsallourgl asses.
Mose:“OK,f
ir
stquest
ion.Nev
erhav
eIev
erwoken
upnexttoastr
anger”
Ev
ery
oneexceptMoseandIt
akeasi
p.
Mose:
“Damn,
youguy
sar
enast
y.”
Khanyi
:“Andyouwaytooyoungnottobe.You
shoul
dtryitev
enthought
heguywill
mostl i
kel
yend
updead.”
wel
aughatt
hat
.Herboy
fri
endi
sli
ket
hat
.
Mose:
“OK.Nev
erhav
eIev
erhadat
hreesome”
Icl
earmythroatandtakeasi
pal
ongwi
thPoppy
,
Khanyi
,Cai
nandLi ndo.
Suko:
“Whot
hehel
ldi
dyouhav
eat
hreesomewi
th?
”
Me:“Therul
esoft
hegamedonotsayweshoul
d
shar
edetail
s.”
Suko:“
I’
mjustf
ail
i
ngtobeli
evey
ou’
vehada
thr
eesomewhil
eIhav
en’t
”
Li
ndo:
“Itwasn’
tev
enonce,
justsoy
ouknow.
”
Thebastar
dtakesasi
pofhi
sdr
inkaf
tersay
ingt
hat
.
Sukotur
nstohim.
Suko:
“Wasi
twi
thy
ou?
”
Hecoughsandt
akesanot
hersi
p.Ichuckl
e.Het
urns
backt
ome.
Suko:
“Whatt
hehel
lar
eyoul
aughi
ngat
?”
Il
ookatMose.
Me:
“Maywehav
eanot
herquest
ion?
”
Poppy:
“Soundsl
ikeagoodidea.I
’
vejust
rememberedhowIlostmydamnv i
rgi
nit
y,damn.
”
Mose:“Neverhav
eIev
erhadsexwi
thouta
condom.”
Weal
ltakeasi
p.
Mose:“
Neverhav
eIev
erki
ckedsomeoneoutaf
ter
hav
ingsex.
”
Poppy
:“I
’
m notasav
age”
Butshet
akesasi
pal
ongwi
tht
heot
her
sexceptf
or
me.
Me:
“Whodi
dyouki
ckout
?”
Mose: “
Whoelse?Hehadmadememadt hen
thoughtsexwasgoingt
ofi
xit
.It
hrewhi
m outand
conti
nuedtosul
k.”
Ichuckl
e,shaki
ngmyhead.
Me:
“Gi
rl
s”
.
NOSI

Whathur t
saboutgoingthroughapregnancyalone
i
snothav inganyonetocallwhenyouhaving
cravi
ngs.AllIdoisbi
temyl i
pwithmyey esclosed
asIimaginemycr avi
ngsbeingsati
sfi
ed.I’
m now
onlythr
eemont hspregnantyett
heexhausti
oni son
anotherl
ev el
.It
ri
edCainagainandheanswer edthis
ti
me.
Cai
n:“
Yes?
”
Me:
“Whyhav
en’
tyoubeenanswer
ingmycal
l
s?”
Cai
n:“Idi
dn’
twantt
o.Wher
ear
eyou?Ineedsome
put
thy
”
Me:
“Iam home.
”
Cai
n:“
I’
m comi
ngt
ofet
chy
ou,
tir
edoft
hir
d
wheel
i
ng.”
Me:“Pl
easebr
ingmesomepi
zzawheny
oucome,
doubl
edecker
.”
Cai
n:“Oh,youneedsomest ami
na?Surethi
ng.Pl
us,
Mpho’sbarhaseveryt
hingsoIdon’
tneedtobuyyou
adri
nk.I
’m coming”
HehangsupandIr egr
etcal
li
nghim.WhatifSukois
there?Thelastti
meIsawhimi swhenIdroppedthe
pregnancybomb.Caincannotfi
ndoutaboutthat
becausehe’llst
opthearr
angementbet
weenusand
I
’llhavetof
indanotherwaytomakemoney .
Itakeabat hqui
ckl
yandgetdressed.Myst omach
i
sn’tshowi ngasofyetandIdreadthedayi twil
l.No
oneathomeknowsandIwanti ttostayt
hatway .
They ’
reallinnoposit
iont
oaskany waysinceI ’
m
theirbreadwinner
.Iputonsomemakeup, hidi
ngmy
eyebagst henacurl
yMalaysi
an10inchwi g.Ispray
someper fumethenwaitwhil
escrol
li
ngthr oughmy
phone.
Hecal
lsmeaf
teraboutt
hir
tymi
nut
essoIgr
abmy
pur
seandl
eav
e.
Cai
n:“
Ohshit
,you’
reov
erdressed.Don’
tyouhave
swi
m wear
?Becausewe’r
echi l
li
ngbythepool
.”
Me:
“Idon’
tbutIcangochangei
ntoshor
ts”
Cai
n:“
Ohgoodbutgi
vemeaki
ssf
ir
st.
”
Thekissi
swetanddi rt
ythenI ’
m out.Il
ookatmy
st
omachf oraboutf i
vemi nutesaft
erchangingt
o
makesurethereisn’tasign.Myst omachlooksfl
at
soI’
m ok.I’
m wearingdeni m bumshortswit
haswim
braandablackmeshdr essont op.
Cain:“
That’
smor el
ikei
t.Putony
ourseat
bel
t
becauseI’
m speedi
ng”
Ihav
en’
tev
ensecur
elybuckl
edwhenhedr
ivesof
f.
AllI
’m doingont heri
deisprayi
ngthatsomet hing
happenst othi
sbaby .Idon’
tthi
nkIwantt obe
pregnant,moreespeciall
ybecauseIdon’tknow
who’st hefat
her.Caindoesn’
tli
keusingprotection,
especiall
ywhenhe’ sdrunkbecausewe’venev er
real
lyhadsexsober .
Myheartisbeati
ngoutofmychestasIfoll
owhim.
I’
mt oost
ressedthatIdon’
tevenaweatMpho’s
housenordoIchecki tout
.Hetakesmetothebar
andpoursmeadr i
nk.
Me:
“Whyar
eyousoni
ce?
”
Cai
n:“
I’
m sof
teni
ngy
ouupf
orsomet
hing.
”
It
akeasi
poft
hewi
ne.
Me:
“Thi
sisgood”
Cai
n:“
Yeah,
let
’sgo.
”
Theyal
ll
ookatmewhenwear ri
veathispat i
o.
Poppyi
sthefir
stt
oscoffthentherestexceptfor
someguyIhaveneverseenbefor
e.Ifeelhumili
ated,
moresobecauseCaindoesn’
tseem bothered.He
si
tsonhischai
sethenpull
smet ohislap.
It
’sawkwardl
yquietaft
erbutIcanseet
hem
exchangi
ngglances.
Me:
“Whyar
etheyl
i
ket
his?
”
Cai
n:“
Whydon’
tyouaskt
hem?
”
Inowregr
etcomi
ngher
ebecauseI
’
m aj
okeandI
don’
tknowwhy.
Mpho:
“I’
m cal
l
ingi
tani
ght
.”
Hest
andsup.
Suko:
“Yeah,
met
oo.
”
Poppy:“
We’ r
enotfool
slona.Isawyouguy
s
whisper
ing.Whatweretheysayi
ngMose?”
TheMosegi
rlchuckl
esandshr
ugs.
Mose:
“Ihav
enoi
deabutI
’
m al
socal
l
ingi
tani
ght
.”
Thethreeleavewit
hSukoandMphoabitcl
ose.I
seeSukot aketheguy
’shandast
heydi
sappear
i
nside.There’
ssomethingupt
her
e.
Me:
“What
’sgoi
ngonwi
tht
hem?
”
I
’m whi
sper
ingwithhopesthathewon’
tembarr
ass
meanyfurt
her.I
fhedidn’
tgivememoney,I
’dbeon
mywayout.
Cai
n:“
Miney
ourownbusi
ness”
Me:
“I’
mjustaski
ng,
noneedt
ober
ude.
”
Poppy
:“Al
ri
ght
,I’
m doneher
e.”
She’sholdi
ngthenewguy’shand.Ofcourse,she
getsthehandsomeones.Fir
stMpho, nowthisguy.
May besomethingal
sohappenedwithherandSuko
fr
om howhe’ dalway
sdefendher.There’
sjustthr
ee
ofusleftnow.
Cai
n:“Howaboutyoutaketheshor
tsof
fandwego
i
ntothepool
foraswim? ”
He’
sal
readyf
iddl
i
ngwi
thmypant
s.
Li
ndo:
“Thatsoundsl
i
keagoodi
dea”
Idon’
tli
kehowhe’
slooki
ngatme.Il
ookatCai
n.
Me:
“What
’sgoi
ngon?
”
Cai
n:“
I’
mthinkingathr
eesomeinthepool.Don’
t
wor
ry,
we’l
lgiveyouabouttwent
ythousandfori
t.
”
Me:“
Youwanttopaymef
orsex?I
’
m nota
pr
ost
itut
eCai
n!”
Cain:
“Whosai
dy ouar
e?Ifyoudon’twant
,youcan
sayno.We’
renotgoi
ngtoforceyou.”
Li
ndo:“Yah,
wedon’
tdot
hat
.Ify
ou’
renoti
nter
est
ed,
we’
lll
etyoube.
”
Twent yt
housandisalotofmoneyandconsideri
ng
howt herenov
ati
onshadt otakeapauseathome
becausetheotheronebail
edonme, Ineedt
his.I
endupt aki
ngofftheshort
sthenstand.
Li
ndoi
sthef
ir
stt
ost
andup.Hecomest
omeand
start
ski ssingme,hishandsonmybutt.Ipushal
l
thethought stot
hebackofmyheadasIr emind
my selfofwhyIagr eed.I
t’
sfort
hehouseand
nothingel se.
.
MPHO

Me: “
So,y
ouhav enoprobl
em wi
thherdr
inki
ngwhi
l
e
she’
scarr
yingyourbabyandi
napossibl
e
thr
eesomet hat
’sl
i
kelygoi
ngtoberaw?”
Helooksatmet
henr
oll
shi
sey
esashet
akesasi
p
ofhi
sdrink.
Suko: “
Shewoul
dn’tbehereifshewaspr
egnant
.Do
wer eal
lyhav
etotalkaboutthi
s?Yousai
dyougoing
toremindmeofthatnight.
”
Me:“
Yes,
whichi
swhyIneedt
ogety
ousomewat
er
soy
oucansoberup.
”
Suko:“I
’
m nott
hatdr
unksor
elax.Howdi
dit
happen?”
It
akeof
fmyt
shi
rt
.
Me:“St
art
edwi
thyoubr
eaki
ngi
ntomyr
oom and
bounci
ngonmybed.
”
Thatnightchoosesnowtor eplayi
nmymi nd.The
i
magesar esoviv
idthati
tfeelsli
keit
’sr
eal
ly
happening.
Suko:
“Howdi
dIgett
obot
tom?
”
Me:“Youwant
edtohav
esexwi
thmesomucht
hat
youdidn’
tmi
nd.
”
Suko:
“Butwhydi
dn’
tIf
ucky
ou?
”
Me:“
BecauseIwoul
dn’
tal
l
owy ou.Notwhent
he
samepeni
shadbeeninafemal
eanhourpri
or.
”
Suko:
“Thi
smeanst
haty
ou…wow”
Me:
“Youl
i
kedi
t.
”
Hesi
ghs.
Suko:“
Myf i
rstwaswi t
hamale,y
ouknow.Thatshi t
hurtman.Ispentaboutaweekonbedr est
,faki
ng
i
ll
nessbecausemybehi ndwasparal
yzed.”
Il
augh.
Me:
“You’
reexagger
ati
ng.
”
Suko:
“No,
real
l
y.I
twasgoodbutdamn.
”
Me: “
Youal
soremindedmet hatIwasy
ourf
ir
st.You
changedal
otovertheyear
s.”
Hegr
ins.
Suko:
“Noway
,Gr
aham Bl
oom?
”
Inod.
Suko:“
Wow.Theonlyguywhowasev erableto
convi
nceme…whathappenedtothatconf
idence?
Youseem r
eserv
ednow.Likeyou’
rel
ockedinthe
cl
osetandhavethr
ownthekeyaway.”
’
Me:
“Al
othappened.
”
Ileavei
tthere.Myper sonall
ifeisn’
tsomethi
ngIfi
nd
pleasur
eint al
kingabout,especial
lymypast.I’
m
enjoyi
ngthepr esentandlookingforwar
dtot he
futur
esot hat’
sallthathappens.
Me:
“Joi
nmef
orashower
.”
Heshakeshisheadandget
sof fthebed,
maki
nghis
waytome.Hest opswhenhe’
si nfr
ontofmeand
put
shishandsonmyshoulders.
Suko:
“HowaboutIgi
vey
ouar
easont
obat
h?”
Thehandsonmyshoul
dersmovetocupmycheeks
thenhe’
ski
ssi
ngme.Isi
ghthenr
eply
,movi
ngmy
handstohi
sbutt
.
Suko:
“Real
l
yhadmescr
eami
ngy
ournameGr
ay”
He’swhisper
ingonmyearwhi
l
echokingmesl
ight
ly.
Her eal
l
ywant st
otur
nthet
abl
es.Icanf
eel
Tri
xy
abouttorel
ent.
Me:
“Notwhenyouhadt
hatgi
rlandst
il
lhav
eher
mar
ksall
overy
ou.”
Suko:
“Tel
lmewhaty
ouwant
.”
Ihaveafeel
inghe’
srefer
ri
ngtosomet
hingali
ttl
e
moresigni
fi
cant,
butIcan’
ttr
usthi
m.Ican’
ttr
ust
anyone.
Me:
“Iwanty
ounakedandont
opofme.
”
Suko:
“I’
venev
erdonet
hat
.”
Me:
“Ther
e’saf
ir
stt
imef
orev
ery
thi
ng,
isn’
tther
e?”
Hesi
ghs.
Suko:
“Icant
ry”
Ipeckhi
sli
ps.
Me:
“That
’smor
eli
kei
tandI
’
llgui
dey
ou.
”
Suko:
“Ij
ust
…Iwantt
opl
easey
ou.
”
Icuphi
scheeks.
Me:“Youwil
l
.Stopovert
hinki
ngthi
s.I
’
m pr
ett
ysur
e
you’
verodealotofgi
rl
sbefore.
”
Hesmi
rks.
Suko:
“Iguess.
”
Ismashmylipsonhis.We’
vebeental
ki
ngalotnow
whichi
simport
antbutIdon’
tthi
nknowist
hetime.
*
***
***
comment
sandshar
espl
ease.
[
Khany
i]
TWENTY-
THREE
★★★★★★
SUKOLUHLE

Mpho: “Iwanttoki
ssyouallov
eryourbodysobad
butthet hought
sofherhav
ingdonethesame
rest
rictme.”
Igr
oan.
Me:
“Doy
ouhav
etokeepbr
ingi
ngt
hatup?
”
Heki
ssesmyshoul
derbl
ades.If
indmy
sel
fwi
shi
ng
t
hosel
ipswer
esomewhereelse.
Mpho:
“Br
ingwhatup?
”
Hi
sfi
ngergr
azesmyent
ranceandIpantt
henbi
te
myli
p.
Me:“
TheJeanthing.Idi
dn’tknowweweregoi
ngt
o
bel
aidupl
iket
his.Iwouldn’thav
edonei
t.
”
Mpho:
“Real
l
y?”
He’
steasi
ngmyent
rancewi
thhi
sfi
nger
,notr
eal
l
y
goi
ngi
nbutci
rcl
i
ngj
ustar
oundt
hewr
inkl
es.
Me:
“Yes,
comeon.
”
Isucki
nabr
eat
hasi
tsl
owl
ygoesi
n.
Mpho:
“Whydoy
oudoi
t?”
Me:
“Youwantust
otal
know?
”
I
’
m agi
tat
ed.
Mpho:
“Answermyquest
ion.
”
Me:
“Igethor
ny,
li
keIam r
ightnowandJeansai
d–
That
’swhenhefull
yenter
shisf
ingerwhi
chhappens
togr
azemyprostate.Thi
sdamn–Iwon’tevensay
i
t.
Mpho:
“Whatdi
dshesay
?”
Hekeepsbr
ushi
ngagai
nstt
hatspotwhi
chhasme
moani
ngli
keadamnb.
Ibi
temylip,tr
yingtoregai
nsomeofthesanit
yalong
wit
hcontrolhere.I
t’
shardwithmeonmyst omach
naked,
him ontopofmest il
li
nhispant
s.
Me:
“ThatIcancal
lonherwhenev
erIneedsome”
Mpho:“We’
l
lseehowy
ou’
l
ldot
hatwi
thapai
nful
back.
”
Me:
“Youdon’
tli
keher
?”
Mpho:
“Idon’
tli
keshar
ing”
Me:
“Tel
lmewhaty
ouwant
.”
Mpho:
“Iwantt
obei
nsi
deofy
ou”
Idon’tgetwhyhe’ sshy i
ngawayf r
om myquest ion.
He’sbeendoi ngt hissinceearli
er.Iknowheknows
whatImean.I ’
dgi veitallupifthat’
swhathewant s
andunt ilhesay sit,Iwon’ t
.yes,IknowwhatIsai d
aboutcommi tment ,r
elati
onshipsandal lthatbut
he’sdif
f erent.Hej ustmakesmewantt or iskitall.
Besides, Idon’tthinkhe’llwantmet ogot oil
legal
extremesj usttopl easehi m.Hei nspir
esme, makes
mewantt obettermy sel
fandhedoesn’ tknowi tbut
I’
m wor kinghar dtonotonl ymakemy selfproud, but
him aswel l
.
Mpho:
“Your
eady
?”
Il
ookbackathi
shandsomesel
fandnod.
Mpho:
“Al
ri
ghtbutdon’
tfor
gety
oust
il
lri
ding”
’
Ihuf
f,r
oll
i
ngmyey
es.
Me:
“Wecangoal
lni
ght
.”
Mpho:
“Di
dn’
tyoudot
hatl
astni
ght
?”
Me:
“Atl
eastmypeni
shasgot
tenabr
eak.
”
Mpho:
“Andt
hat
’swhyI
’
llnev
ergi
vey
ouhead.
”
Me:
“What
?”
Hishandsar eonmyneckasheslowl
ythr
ustsin.
t
hef eeli
ngofhim st
ret
chi
ngmeiseuphor
ic,
feels
l
ikethisishowit’
smeanttobe.
There’ssomethi
ngabouthismoansi nmyearand
theslowthrust
s.He’snotful
l
yinbutthepacesor tof
makest hemoodl i
kewe’remakinglove.Thegent
le
holdonmyneck, li
tt
lebi
tesofmyear l
obe.Icrane
myneckf orakissandeveryt
hingfeel
slikei
t’
s
alr
ight.
.
POPPY

Hepushesmewhenmyhandat
temptt
osl
i
dei
nto
hi
spant
s.
Me:
“What
?”
Khany
i:“
We’
resl
eepi
ng.
”
Il
ookathi
mi ndi
sbel
i
ef.I
’
m dr
unkandhor
ny,
what
’s
heonabout
?
Me:
“I’
m nott
ir
ed.
”
Khany
i:“
Iwasn’
taski
ng.
”
Me:
“Thenwhydi
dy ouaskmetocomei
ntoy
our
r
oom i
fyouj
ustwanttosl
eep?
”
Khany
i:“
Idon’
twantt
osl
eepal
one.
”
Me:
“Theny
ouwon’
thav
etodoany
thi
ng”
Khany
i:“
No.I
’
m say
ingt
hisf
ort
hel
astt
ime,
let
’s
sl
eep.
”
Icli
ckmyt ongueandr elent.He’
sr eal
lynot
i
nterest
edandIcan’ texactlycoercehim.Ir eal
ly
thoughti
t’
swhyhewant edust ogot ohisroom.I
wouldhavest ayedbehindandwat chedNosi
degradeherselfformoney .SpeakingofNosi ,I
’
m
goingtohaveachatwi thheri nthemor ning.What
she’sdoingisn’
ton.I’m dr
unknowsoIcan’tstopher
ortalkheroutofitbutIwillt
omorrow.Hespoons
meandsoon, hi
sbr eathi
nghassteadi
ed.Icl
osemy
eyesandal l
owsleept oovertakeme.
*
***
*
I
’m grumpyinthemor ning.I
maginebei ngwokenup
byaman’ serecti
onpr essedagainstyout henhave
todealwit
hther ejecti
ononceagai nwhenat tempts
toamor ni
nggl or
yf ai
l.Ilef
thimtakingashower
thencamedownt omyr oom whereI’vejustbat
hed.I
wearasundress, thongsandalsthenletmyhai r
l
oose.Igrabmyphonet henI’
m out.I’
m hungry,
hungoverandhor ny.
Me:
“Nosi
pho”
Ifi
ndherst uf
fi
ngherfaceint
heki
tchen.Shel ooks
l
ikeshehasn’teateni
nages.She’
sahotmessr i
ght
now, wear
ingLindo’
sshir
twit
hherhairalloverher
face.SheremindsmeofwhenIwaspr egnantwith
Gigi.
Me:
“Don’
tyouhearmegr
eet
ing?
”
Nosi
:“We’
renotf
ri
ends.
”
Il
augh.
Me:
“So,
youonl
ygr
eety
ourf
ri
ends?Whatashame.
”
Nosi
:“Yes.
”
Me:
“Ar
eyoupr
egnant
?”
Shechokesonherfoodthenstart
scoughing.My
eyesdon’tmovef
rom herunt
ilshe’
sdone.Iwatch
herasshetakesasipofherj
uicethencl
icksher
tongue.
Me:
“Iguesst
hat
’say
es.Doy
ouknowt
hef
ather
?”
Nosi
:“Doy
ouknowGi
gi’
sfat
her
?”
Il
augh.
Me:
“Mybet
’sont
woguy
s.Whatabouty
ou?
”
Shesi
ghs.
Nosi
:“Thr
ee”
Me:“Whydidyoudri
nkanddoalloft
hatl
astni
ght
whi
leyouknowy ou’
repr
egnant
?Doy ouwantt
ogiv
e
bi
rt
htoadef or
medbaby?”
Nosi
:“Whydoy
oucar
e?I
t’
snotl
i
key
oul
i
keme.
”
Me:“Idon’t.Ihatey oumor eforwhatyoudi
dtoSuko,
mybr other.Howev er,Iam concer
nedaboutyou.The
wayyou’ r
el eadi
ngy ourli
feisalar
ming.I
sthe
I
nstagram lifest
ylewor t
hallofthi
s?”
Nosi
:“Youdon’
tknowmePoppy
,don’
ttal
kli
key
ou
do.
”
Me:“I’
veseenyoupostinginexpensi
v ecars,chi
l
li
ng
i
nclubsanddr i
nkingcockt
ail
s.I’
veseent hepict
ures
ofgourmetsyoupost,thegli
tzandglamour .What
areyougaini
ngfrom havi
ngmul t
ipl
esexual
part
ners?
”
Shescof
fs.
Nosi
:“You’
reonet
otal
k.”
Me: “Il
earnedmyl essonwi t
hGi gi
’sfathers.Ikeepit
safebutsexf ormoney ?Idon’tdot hat.Iwas
exclusi
velywithOki f
ortwoy earsorso, soIhav eno
i
deawhaty ou’r
et alki
ngabout .ThemanIl eftwith;
wedi dn’
tfuckev ent houghIwant edust o.Ifit
happenst hatwedo, Iwon’thavesexwi thanyone
else.All
I’
m say i
ngi s,you’r
elivi
ngar iskyli
fe.Did
youusepr otecti
onl astnight?”
Shel
ooksdown.
Me: “Exactly.Iwasdr unkman, whi chi swhyIdi dn’
t
stopy oubutsober , Iwouldn’thav eal lowedt hatbull.
Noamountofmoneyi swor t
hdegr adi ngyour self
l
iket hat.Thattwent ythousandwon’ tmakeadenti n
thoset wo’smoney .Heck, they’
llprobabl ydoubl eor
tri
pleitbutwhatabouty ourdignity?Thi nkoft he
chil
dy ou’recarryi
ngNosi .Considerf indingaj ob,
seekingy ourindependenceandst opusi ngy our
vaginat ogener at
ei ncome.Tr ustme, you’
llregretit
.
Itdepreciates.You’llfi
ndsomeonewhol ovesy ou
andwhom y oulovewho’ llbesubj ectedt oy our
damagedpussybecausey oudi dn’tletitrest.There
areSTI s,STDsandHI V/AIDS.You’ ll
r egrethav i
ng
watchedy ourli
fevani shbef oreyourey eswheny ou
hadt imet odosomet hingabouti t.It’
snott oolateto
change.I fnotforyou, thenf orthatbabyi ny our
stomach. ”
Ileaveherandproceedtomakemyhangov ershake.
Ihopemywor dsmarinat
ei nherbrain.Ihopeshe
takessome, i
fnotall
ofitintocognizance.
Mphocomesdownwi
thKhany
ionhi
stai
l
.The
houseowneri
sonl
ywearinghi
spajamapantsand
baref
oot
.Youcantel
lhehadaroughni
ghtfrom hi
s
swoll
enl
ipsandt
hescrat
chesonhischest
.
Me:“Youknowweknow, r
ight
?Youdon’
thav
eto
r
evealyourchestasev
idence.
”
Hechuckl
eswhi
lecomi
ngtome.Hegi
vesmeasi
de
hugandki
ssesmytempl
e.
Mpho:
“Goodmor
ningPoppy
,howdi
dyousl
eep?
”
Me:
“Mxm,don’
task.Yourf
ri
enddi
dn’
twantt
ogi
ve
mesome.
”
Mpho:
“That
’snosur
pri
se.
”
Inudgehi
m wi
tht
heel
bowonhi
sri
b
Me:“
That’
snotcomf
ort
ing.Ineededt
hat
di
ckt
her
apy”
Khany
i:“
I’
m her
e,y
ouknow.
”
It
urnt
ohi
m wi
thmyar
msf
olded.
Me:
“Whydi
dn’
tyouwantt
ogi
vemesome?
”
Khany
i:“
I’
mtoool
dforone-
nightst
ands.
”
Me:“I
twouldn’thavebeenanor dinar
yone.
Enj
oymentisguar anteed.Besi
desifyougiv
eas
goodasIdo,itwoul dhavebeenacoupl eofone-
ni
ghtstands.
”
Khany
i:“
Ipr
eferknowi
ngy
ouf
ir
st.
”
Me:
“Andsexi
sn’
tawayofknowi
ngsomeone?
”
Khany
i:“
Nott
ome.I
’
llbeseei
ngy
out
hough.
”
Me:
“Yei
y”
Ican’
tevenfaket
heenthusi
asm.Nosideci
desto
l
aughatmydi smaysoIretr
actandpoi
ntamiddl
e
fi
ngerather
.
Mpho:“
Breakf
asti
sser
vedbutSukoandIwon’
tbe
j
oini
ngyou.
”
Me:
“Iwasn’
texpect
ingy
out
o.”
Khany
i’
shandgoest
omybut
t,cuppi
ngacheek.
Khany
i:“
Rel
ax”
Hekissesmyneckandlet’
sgo.If
indhi
stouchtobe
bur
ning,igni
ti
ngwher
ehisli
psandhandwere.No,
he’
storturi
ngme.
.
SUKOLUHLE

Ifindmy sel flay i

ngont hisbedandr emini
scing
aboutl astni ghtandear li
ert hismor ning.WhenI
closemyey es, hist oucheshauntme.Hewas
j
ust …differentt hist i
me.I tfel tli
kewewer emaki ng
l
ov e.Butt hent hismor ning, he’sbeennonchal ant
l
ikewedi dn’ thav ethatamazi ngnight .Idon’tget
whyhe’ sliket hi s.He’ snol ongert hatexpr essi
v e
nineteen- year -oldwhobr okemyv irginit
ythenbr oke
upwi thmeaf terf indingoutmyageandpr omi sing
we’ l
ltrywhenI ’m ov erei ghteen.He’ sjustsocl osed
off,i
t’sal ittleal armi ng.He’ shol dingbackonl ife,but
Ivowt omakehi ml i
v eagai n.ThisGr aydoesn’t
seem al ive.Hej ustseemst obeexi sti
ng.It’
ssor tof
l
iket here’snot hi ngt ohi m exceptt hemoneyand
howhel ov esandcar esforhi sf r
iends.
Hecomesinwit
hatraywhichIassumehas
br
eakf
astandset
sitontopofthebedsi
dedrawer
.
Mpho:
“Igoty
oubr
eakf
ast
.”
Me:
“Youdi
dn’
thav
eto.
”
Mpho:
“St
il
ldi
d.Hav
eyoushower
ed?
”
Me:
“Yes.I
’
mjustl
azyt
ogetdr
essed.
”
Mpho:
“Ohgood.Whatdoy
ouwantt
odot
oday
?”
Me:
“Gobackt
omypl
ace.I
’
m wor
kingt
oni
ght
.”
Mpho:
“What
’swi
tht
heat
ti
tude?
”
Me:“Ihavenoi
deawhatyou’
ret
alki
ngabout
.
Thanksfort
hefoodt
hough.”
Igr
abt het
ray
,uncovert
heplat
esandi
ndul
ge.He
watchesmeunti
lI’
m done.
Me:
“Whenwi
l
lIt
opy
ou?
”
Mpho:
“Don’
twor
ry,
you’
l
lknowwheny
ouhav
eto.
”
Me:
“Whatdoest
hatmean?
”
Mpho: “
Exact
lyt
hat
.Butonl
yify
ou’
l
lst
ickal
ongl
ong
enough.”
Me:
“I’
mforf
orev
er.
”
Mpho:
“Good.
”
Hel
eansi
nforaki
sswhi
chIr
eci
procat
e.
Me:
“YouknowI
’
m her
efory
ou,
right
?”
HenodsbutIcanseehedoesn’ tbeli
eveit.It
’sal
soa
taskI’
ll
havetot ake;showinghi
mt hatI’
mt heref
or
him andthatIcare.Therestwil
lbealluptohi m.
Igetdr
essedaf
ter
,fi
nal
l
yput
ti
ngt
ouset
hecl
othesI
camewith.
Hef
oll
owsmeoutunt
ilwe’
reont
hegr
oundf
loor
.
Me:
“Goodmor
ning.
”
Nosi:“
Musthav
ebeenani
ceonef
ory
ouget
ti
ng
yourassat
eout.
”
Me: “
You’
reafineonetotal
kmisspor
nstar.I
sther
e
evenababyintheresi
nceyouweredr
inki
ngand
taki
ngtwodicksatthesameti
me?”
Cai
n:“
Ababy
?”
Hel
ooksatherandpoorgi
rll
ooksl
i
keadeercaught
i
nheadl
i
ghts.
*
***
***
pl
easeli
ke,
commentandshar
e.Apol
ogi
esf
ornot
post
ingl
astni
ght
.
TWENTY-
FOUR
★★★★★★
SUKOLUHLE

All
eyesareonher.I’
m wonder
ingwhyshe’
sst
il
l
herebecauseshe’
splay
edherrole.
Me:“Whyarey
ouev enst
il
lher
e?Thi
sisn’
tyour
boy
fri
ends’
house.
”
Cai
n:“
WhatbabyNosi
pho?You’
repr
egnant
?”
Me:“Shecamet omecl ai
mingit
’smineandIwas
r
ightnottobel
ieveher.Thel
isti
sendlessbecause
t
here’
salsoyou,Vusiandwhoknowswhoel se.
”
Poppy
:“OK,
Ithi
nkt
hat
’senoughi
nsul
ts.
”
Me:
“Noti
nsul
ts,
I’
m spi
tt
ingf
act
s.”
Ishr
ug.
Mpho:
“Keepqui
et.
”
Cai
n:“Iaskedy
ouadamnquest
ion.Ar
eyouf
ucken
pr
egnant?”
Shel
ooksdownandnods.
Cai
n:“
Howl ongbecauseyourstomachi
sfuckenf
lat
?
Whoelsei
st hef
atherot
herthanSukoandI?”
Nosi
:“I
t’
sVusi
butIsweari
t’
sonl
ythet
hreeofy
ou.
”
Iscof
f.
Me:
“Yeahr
ight
.”
Thi
sguydecidestospankmybut
t.Thathur
tsbut
I
’m speaki
ngthet
rut
h.
Cain:“So,youknewwhi leyoudi dall
thatlastnight?
Arey oureall
ythatfuckeninfusedbymoney ?That
you’ddrinkandputmypossi blebaby’
slif
ei ndanger
forit
?It’
snotonl ythealcoholbutthefuckenpillyou
took.Howcar elesscany oube? !
”
He’sfuming.Mphohast ohol
dhim backf r
om
chokingNosi’stodeath.Theonl
ythinghegotinwas
aslap.Idon’tcondonegender-
basedv i
olencebut
Nosideservedit.
She’
scryi
ngli
keawi dow,r
emi ndi
ngmeoftheti
me
shespatonmeandt henbrokeupwithme.Iwas
l
iket
hisbutworse,
ont hestr
eetswhi
lepeopl
e
passedby.I
t’
sst i
llanembar r
assingmomentforme.
Anyonecouldhavet akenav i
deoandthenpostedit
onblacktwi
tterwiththetit
le,
‘I
tendedint
ears’
.I’
m
sogladI’
m overthat.I’
m notevenmovedbythe
si
tuati
onunfoldi
ngher e.
Li
ndo:
“What’
swithallt
henoise?Andwena,
giv
eme
myshi
rt.I
’
vebeenlooki
ngforital
lover
.”
Cain:
“She’
spregnant.Andsheknewthi
sbutsti
l
l
wentonlastni
ghtbecauseshevaluesmoneymore
thananyt
hingel
se.”
Poppy:“
Weallhavenorightt
ojudgeherbecausewe
don’
tknowwhereshe’scomingfrom.Cal
li
ngher
namesandslappi
ngherwon’tchangeanything.I
t’
s
aquesti
onofwhetherornotshe’
skeepi
ngt hebaby.
I
fyes,t
henIthi
nkDNAt esti
ngcanbearranged.”
Cain: “
She’skeepi
ngi t
.Shewouldhaveterminatedif
shedi dn’
twantto,withoutanyofourconsent.You
betterpraythatbabyisn’
tminebecauseifiti
s,I’
ll
puty ouunderlock.”
Hetakeshi
scarkeysfr
om t
hetabl
ethenleaveswit
h
Li
ndoonhistai
l
.Iguesshedoesn’
tneedhisshir
t
af
teral
l
.
Mpho:
“Whenar
eyouconduct
ingt
hisDNA?
”
Nosi
:“I
’
lluhm…ar
rangesomet
ime”
Sher
ushesoutaf
ter
.
Me:
“Ial
sohav
etol
eav
e.”
IlookatMphowhonods.I t’sbeenoneev entful
mor ni
ng.idohopet hebabyi sn’tminet hough.I
don’twanttohav etodealwi thNosi andher
shenanigans.Sheputmet hroughthemostandev en
thoughIobv i
ouslywouldn’tgetbackwi t
hheri fi
t
happenst obemi ne,I
’drat
hernotdeal withheratal l
.
Besides,I
’m nowayr eadyforababy .I’
mi nno
positi
ontopr ov
ideforone, andthat’
snotj ust
fi
nanciall
y.Iam notpreparedment allyand
emot i
onall
y.Fuck,Ibarel
yhav emyl ifetoget herat
thispoint
.
.
POPPY

I
’
m al
i
ttl
esadt
hathehast
oleav
ewhenwehav
en’
t
ev
enki
ssed.Thi
sguyt
ort
uredme.
Heki
ssesmyf
orehead.
Khany
i:“
I’
ll
cal
lyou”
Me:
“Youdon’
thav
emynumber
”
Khany
i:“
Ido.I
’
llseey
oumay
bet
omor
row.
”
Me:
“SoIdon’
tev
engetasi
mpl
eki
ss?
”
Khanyi
:“Comet
omyof
fi
cet
henI
’
llseewhatwecan
workout.
”
Isi
ghandnod.
Khany
i:“
Mphowi
l
ltakey
ou.
”
Iwatchhi
mleavethengobackinsi
de.I
’mfr
ustr
ated.
Ineedtobl
owoffsomest eam.RumiandGi
giareup
nowandhavingbr
eakfast
.
Rumi
:“Howwast
hepar
tyl
astni
ght
?”
Me:
“Itwasf
ine.
”
Rumi
:“Andy
ourcr
ush?
”
Icl
i
ckmyt
ongueandshechuckl
es.
Me:
“Don’
tev
enaskmeaboutt
hatone.Hewasa
wast
eofener
gy”
Rumi:“
Sorr
y.YouseewhyI
’dr
athercr
ushona
cel
ebr
ity
?BecauseIknowwe’
l
lnevermeet
.ButIcan
i
maginehowitfeel
s”
Il
augh.
Me:
“You’
resweet
,youknowt
hat
?”
Shegr
inswhi
l
erol
l
ingherey
es.
Rumi
:“Iknowt
hat
.”
Me:
“SOt
hiscel
eb,
isshesout
hAf
ri
can?
”
Rumi:
“YepandI
’
m notsayinganyt
hingaf
tert
hat
.I
knowhowyouare.Youmightendupgett
ingmeher
numbert
henmesst hi
ngsupforme.”
Il
augh.
Me:
“Howwi
l
lIbedoi
ngt
hat
?I’
dbehel
ping”
Ishr
ug.
Rumi:
“Noway .I
’
llaski
fIwanti
t.May
bewhenI
’
m
ol
derl
ikef
if
teenorsixt
een.
”
Me:
“You’
l
lst
il
lhav
eacr
ushonher
?”
Shenods.
Rumi
:“Il
oveher
!”
Thedreamylookonherf
acemakesmel
augh.Yeah,
no.she’
scaptur
ed.
Ideci
detogot oTsebosoIcanseeKi araandspeak
ofwhereshegetsherhai r
.I’
m hopingshewon’ t
mindhookingmeup.I t
’snotlikeI’
ll
best eal
ingher
cli
ent
s.I
’l
lbuil
dmyowncl ient
ele.SinceMphohasn’ t
comebackandRumi want ssomeai r,Ileavewith
them.Wetakeat axi
whi chdropsusof fattown.
Thesalonisbusythi
sti
me.Hehascli
entswai
ti
ng
forhi
m onchairswhi
lehe’
sbusyt
ri
mmi ng
someone’shair
.
Tsebo:“
Ohmy
,awhol
est
ranger
!Wher
ehav
eyou
been?”
Hecomest
omeandwehug.
Tsebo:“Ihaven’
tseenyouinmont hs.Iwenttoy
our
pl
aceandt herewaslikenohouse.ThenIwas
mourningy ouandGigibecauseIthoughtsomet
hing
happened.Ialsoheardaboutyourboyfri
end’
s
shoot
ing.Ar
eyouok?
”
Me:“
I’
m good.Iwasact
ual
lyhomef
ort
hepastf
ew
mont
hsanditwasgood.”
Tsebo:“
Imustgowithyout
henextt
imeandget
myselfaMusl
im man”
Il
augh.
Me:
“Yeah,
docome.If
eel
li
kedoi
ngmynai
l
snow.
”
Tsebo:
“I’
l
lgetKi
ara.
”
Me:“YesplusIfinal
lygotthatwi
gtrai
ningIneeded
soI’
mv ent
uringintothat
.Iwanthertoofferme
someintel
l
ect .
”
Tsebo:“
That’
sgreatl
ove.Iknowshewon’
tmind.
May bey
ouguy scanworksomethi
ngthat
’l
lpr
ofi
tthe
bothofyou.
”
Me:
“Yeah,
hopef
ull
y.
”
Shecomesinaboutanhourwhi chIdi dn’
tevenfeel
becausewewer eall
justt
alki
ngliketherei
sn’t
peoplei
nhere.Tseboalsocamewi tha5l boxof
winewhichwe’vebeenonlikeit
’swater.
Ki
ara:
“Hi
,sosor
ryf
orcomi
ngt
hisl
ate.
”
Me:
“It
’sf
inedol
l
.”
Igetupsowecanhug.
Me:
“Ineedmynai
l
sdoneaswet
alkhai
r”
Rumi
:“CanIdomi
neaswel
l
?”
Me:
“Youhav
emoney
?”
Shef
rowns.Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“I’
m ki
ddi
ng.Yes,
youcan.
”
Wehav eagreatchatandev
encomewithabombi
ng
busi
nessidea.I
t’
snowt i
meformetoopent
hebag
Kgosigav
emeandputt hemoneyt
ogooduse.
I’
m alsothinki
ngofgi vi
ngapor t
iontoSukosohe
canrentspacef orhisrepairsstores.Henowhas
regul
arclientswhoev enr eferpeopletohi
m.Iknow
openingast orei
slikeabi gdeal butinthi
swor l
d,i
t’
s
gobigorgohome.Sur e,therearenoguar ant
ees
andhe’ll
pr obabl
ymakel ossesf orafewmont hs
unti
lhest art
smakingpr of i
tbutIbeliev
einhim and
hiscapabili
ti
es.
Weleav eaft
eraboutf
ivehour
swi t
hGiginow
sl
eeping.Ical
ledacabbecausethere’
snowayI’
m
abouttobesqueezedinataxiagai
nstsweaty
bodi
es.Noway .
Weorder
edpizzaandchi
ckenbackatt
hesal
onso
t
hey
’veate.
Rumiof
fer
stoputhi
m onherbedsi
ncesheal
so
want
stotakeanap.
*
***
*
I’
m ex
citedi
nthemor ni
ng.maybei thast odowith
KhanyiorIj
ustwokeupont herightside.Idon’
t
knowwhatitisabouthi
mt hatexcit
esmebuthe
does.
Mpho:
“Your
eal
l
ydon’
thav
etobet
hatexci
ted”
Me:
“Goodmor
ning!
”
Myvoi
cecomesoutinasingsongwhi
chhashim
l
aughi
ng.He’
salr
eadydr
essedinhi
screasedt
hree-
pi
ecesui
tandfor
malshoes.
Me:
“Youl
ookgood.
”
If
ixhi
sti
eandhesmi
l
es,
bit
inghi
sli
p.
Mpho:
“Thanky
ouma’
am.You’
rebar
elydr
essed.
”
Il
ookatmymi
niwr
apdr
esst
hensmi
l
e.
Me:
“Iwantt
ogi
vehi
m easyaccess.
”
Mpho:
“Thatmancan’
tbeseduced.
”
If
rown.
Me:
“Andhowdoy
ouknowt
hat
?Di
dyout
ry?
”
Mpho:“No,he’sstr
aightandt hat
’sbesi
desthepoint.
Khanyi
hasbeenasex ualsincehisgi
rl
fr
iendpassed
on.i
twashisf i
rstenter
tainingawomanwi thyou.I
thi
nkhewant ssomet hi
ngf rom y
outhoughsodon’ t
l
etyourguarddown. ”
Me:
“What
?”
Mpho:
“Let
’sgo.
”
Ibrushhi
m offthenfol
lowhim out
.GigiandRumi
arebothatschool.Gi
giisatcr
echeactuall
y.
Mpho:
“Wi
l
lseey
ouatdi
nner
.Wegoi
ngout
”
Heki
ssesmycheekasIgetout
.
Hi
sof
fi
cei
sont
hel
astf
looroft
het
enst
orey
buil
ding.Therecept
ionistdi
dn’
tgiv
emeanyhassl
es
becauset hebi
gbossi sexpect
ingme.Hi
swords,
notmi ne.
It
’sal
lglassandv er
ytr
ansparent.From hi
sbi
gtabl
e
tothewalls.Icanseet
hecityfrom uphereandi
t’
s
amazing.
He’sseat
edonhi soff
icechai
rwhi
l
ety
pingwhatever
onhisimac.Helookshotinhi
sfor
malwearbutI’
d
rat
herseehim naked.
Me:
“Hi
”
Hehasn’
tacknowledgedmey
etbutIknowheknew
whenIgothere.
Khany
i:“
Justasecond.
”
Hetakesaboutaminutethenf
inall
ylooksatme.I’
m
st
andingnextt
ohiswindowwhi chisadjacentt
o
wherehe’
sseated.
Khanyi
:“Howar
eyou?Youl
ookgoodandIl
ovet
he
nai
ls,
suitsy
ou.
”
Me:“I
’mf
inebutwoul
dbebet
terwi
thal
i
mp.Thank
you”
Hechuckl
es.
Khany
i:“
Howol
dar
eyou?
”
Theonequest
ionIhat
e.
Me:
“Doesi
tmat
ter
?I’
m ol
denough.
”
Khany
i:“
Youdon’
tlookl
i
kei
t.
”
Me:
“Lookscanbedecei
vi
ng.
”
Khany
i:“
True.
”
Me:“Howar ewegoi
ngtohavesexher
ewhil
eit
’sso
tr
ansparent
?Oryoudon’
tmindgi
vingy
our
employeesashow?”
Khanyi
:“Idi
dn’
tcal
lyouher
efort
hat
.Ihav
eaj
obf
or
you.
”
Me:
“Aj
ob?
”
Henods.
Khany
i:“
Youseem l
i
ket
heper
fectf
it
.”
Me:
“Forwhat
?”
Khany
i:“
Thecont
racthasalr
eadybeenpr
epar
ed.
Youcanleav
ewit
hit,gothr
oughitt
hencomeback
wheny
ou’
recont
ent
.”
Me:
“What
?”
I’
m shook.Wejustmetandalr
eadyther
ear
e
contr
actsinv
olved?Hel
it
eral
l
yjustsawmethat
night
.
Me:
“Ist
hisapr
ank?
”
Il
ookaroundt
hehumongousof
fi
cef
orahi
dden
camer
a.
Khanyi
:“No.y
ouseem t
obedoingwell
wi t
hGigi
soI
havenodoubtyou’
l
lbeabl
etohandl
emi ne.
”
Me:
“Handl
eyour
…youwantmet
obeababy
sit
ter
?”
Khany
i:“
Nannyi
sthewor
d.”
Me:“
Youreal
l
yshit
ti
ngonmerightnow.You’
re
i
nsul
ti
ngme.Icameher
efort
heD, not
hingel
se.”
Khanyi
:“Ical
ledtooff
ery ouaj
ob.Mphot
oldmeyou
j
ustcameandal l
that
.It
’sagoodpayi
ngj
obandmy
ki
dsaren’tbother
some.”
Iscof
f.
Me:
“Fucky
ou.
”
I
’veneverbeent
hisi
nsul
ted.I
’
mfumi
ngonmyway
out.Howdarehe?
*
***
*
i
t'
sunedi
tedbodar
lysoexcuseanyerr
ors.i
know
i
t'
sbeenagesbuti
'
m sti
l
lhavingahugeworkload.
pl
easedocomment.
f
if
tyshar
esont
hisi
nser
tunl
ocksabonus:
)
TWENTY-
FIVE

POPPY

Igivehim at enforaudaci
ty.I
’
vespentthewhol
eday
repl
ayingt hesceneinmyheadandscof fi
ng.Ontop
ofthat,he’sbeencalli
ngmel i
kecrazy
.Idon’
tknow
whatmor ehewant sfrom me.
Ithoughtofdr inkingi tawaybutagl assaf t
er,Ifound
my selfsti
llthinkingofhi m.Whatsucksmor eist he
factthatI’m consi der i
ngit.Tr ustme, it’
snotabout
thejobt i
tle.ImeanIwoul dn’tmindbei ngananny ,
butIdon’ tthinkIneedaj ob.Howev er
, It
hinkof
seeinghim ev erydayandf indmy selfexplori
ng
possibil
it
iesofbei ngapar tofhislife,evenasj usta
helper.Ican’ tbeliev eIam.Iwantt obeapar tofhis
l
ife,nomat terthef orm whi chbaf f
lesme.Ihav eno
i
deawhati sitabouthi m.
Mphofi
ndsmesit
ti
ngi
nt hebar,
wit
hanunt
ouched
gl
assf
il
ledwi
thgi
nandtonic.
Mpho:
“Thatbad?
”
Me:
“He’
sgot
teni
ntomysy
stem.
”
I
’
m notl
ookingathim.We’r
esitt
ingonhi
ghchai
rsby
t
hebarcounterandfaci
ngfor
war d.
Mpho:“Whatdidhesay
?He’
smyf ri
endbutIcar
e
moreaboutyou.St
ayawayf
rom hi
m.”
Ichuckl
ebi
tt
erl
y.
Me:
“He’
sbeencal
l
ing.
”
Asi
foncue,
myphoner
ingsagai
n.
Me:“Heinsul
tedme.It
oldhi
mtofuckof
fbuthe’
s
st
il
lcal
li
ng.Whatdoeshewantf
rom me?”
Hesi
ghs.
Mpho:“I
’m notgett
ingi
nvolv
edi
ny’al
lbusi
nessbut
l
ikeIsai
d,don’tl
etyourguar
ddown.”
Me:“
Why ?I’
m notpl
anni
ngoncat
chi
ngf
eel
i
ngsbut
i
t’
sgoingther
e.Tel
lme.”
Mpho:“Helovedhisgir
lf
ri
endverymuch.She’
sthe
onl
ygirl
whogothi mtoopenhisheartt
olove,sor
t
ofl
ikehisf
irstl
ove.He’
slovedsomeonebefor
ebut
neverl
i
keher .Whenshedied,heclosedhi
mselfoff
.
Hehasn’tbeenwi thawomansincethen.Hestil
l
l
ovesher.Ijust…Idon’
twanty
out ogethurtso
pl
ease,don’
tf al
lforhi
m.”
Heki
ssesmycheekt
henl
eav
es.
Iendupanswer
ingt
hisper
sist
entman’
scal
l
.
Me:
“Yes?
”
Khanyi
:“Whyhaven’
tyoubeenanswer
ingmycal
l
s?I
needananswerurgent
ly.
”
Me:
“That
’swhyy
oucal
l
ed?
”
Khany
i:“
Whyel
sewoul
dI?
”
Me:“Ihav
enoexper i
enceasananny.Besides,
I
haveanewbusinessv ent
ureI’
l
lbeworki
ngonsoI
wanttogivemyattent
iontothat.
”
Khany
i:“
So,
it’
sano?
”
Icl
osemyeyesforami nute.I
t’
slikehe’s
hypnot
izi
ngme,chal
lengi
ngmet odaresaynoor
el
se.Ibit
emyli
pwi t
hasi gh.whyt hehel
lcan’
tIsay
no?
Me: “
How’sitgoi
ngtowork?Ican’
tbeal
i
ve-
in
becauseofRumi andGi
gi.
”
Khanyi
:“Thecontracthi
ghl
ight
severy
thi
ng.How
aboutIcomeov ertoyouandexpl
ainit
?”
Me:“Uhm,maybet
omor
row.Ihavet
oprepar
e
myselff
orseei
ngy
ouwi
thoutget
ti
ngwet.
”
Hechuckl
es.
Khanyi
:“Il
ovehowbluntyouar
e.Dowhatev
ery
ou
feel
youneedtoado.I’
ll
seeyoutomor
row.”
Hehangsuponmeaf
terandIsi
gh.IhopeIdon’
t
r
egrett
his.
.
SUKOLUHLE

Ifi
ndheronmydoorstepaft erwork.She’ssit
ti
ngon
thever
andari
ghtt
herewi t
hherbagonherl ap.This
mustbesomesortofat est.I’
mt i
red,Idon’tt
hinkI
wanttodeal
withf
eminineener gy.
Me:
“Whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?”
Jean:
“Hel
l
otoy
out
ooSuko.
”
Shest
andsupanddust
sherbot
tom.
Jean:“
Youhaven’
tbeenpi
cki
ngupmycal
l
sev
en
aft
erouragr
eement”
Me:“
Ihav
en’
tfel
tli
kesex.Besi
des,
it’
stoosoonf
or
yout
obeback.
”
Jean:
“Iwantt
oknowi
fyou’
rest
il
lupf
ori
t.I
fno,
tel
l
menow.”
Me:
“Andy
ouhadt
ocomeal
lthewayf
ort
hat
?”
Jean:
“It
’snotl
i
keIl
i
vet
hatf
arf
rom y
ou.
”
Me:“It
’sal
i
ttl
ecreepy
,don’
tyouthi
nk?IknowIgiv
e
goodsexbutyoucan’
tbecomingformydickl
ike
that
.”
Iopent
hedoorandshef
oll
owsmei
nsi
de.
Jean:
“Whyar
eyoul
i
ket
hisnow?
”
Me:“
IsaidI
’
llcal
lyouwhenIneedsomesowhynot
wai
tformycall
?I’
mf r
om workj
ustnowandt
ir
ed.
”
Shenods.
Jean:
“Canwehangoutt
hisweekend?
”
Me:
“Sur
e”
Thisi
swhenIneedashower .Havi
ngtoboi
lwater
thenpouronabasi nistoomuchf ormewhenI’
m
thi
sexhausted.There’
sanotherknockonmydoor.
I
t’saf
terI’
vebathedanddr i
ed.Iwrapatowelar
ound
mywai stt
henat t
endthedoor .
Iscof
f.Whatt
hehel
ldoesshewantsol
ate?
Me:
“What
?”
Nosi
:“MayIpl
easegeti
n?”
Me:“Hel
lno.saywhat
every
ouwantt
osayt
henget
outofmyhouse.”
Shesi
ghs.IwishIcouldfeel
sorr
yforherbutshedi
d
mebadsomucht hatIcan’
tfi
ndaninchofempathy
i
nmet owardsher.Notevenaminiat
ure.
Nosi:“
Ineedaplacetostay
.It
’sonl
yfort
henight
unt
ilIcanfi
guresomethi
ngout.Youwon’
teven
not
iceI’
m hereand-
”
Il
augh.Shecan’
thonest
lybeseri
ousaboutthi
s.
WhatdoesshemeanbyIwon’ tnot
iceshe’
shere?
Howwon’ tIwhenfir
st,
thi
sisaoneroom and
secondl
y,thespaceist
oosmallf
ormealone.To
thi
nksheev enhasthegut
stoasksomethingofme.
Me: “You’r
emad.Whynotcal lCai
norVusiandthe
others?Doy out
hinkI’
m stupi
d?Don’tt
estme.I
don’thavetimeforyourshenani
gansshame.I
’m not
evenbor ed.”
Nosi
:“Pl
easeSuko,
Iam beggi
ngy
ou.
”
Iwatchhergoonherkneesandf
uck;
myhear
t
constr
ict
s.
Me:“OKgetup.Yougotmewi
tht
hatkneel
i
ngact
buti
t’
sonl
ytonight
.”
Shecrushesmeinanembracet
hathasmepushi
ng
heraway.Thi
sispushi
ngi
t.
Me:“Let’
snotgetusedtoeachot
her
.You’
re
sl
eepingonthefl
oor.”
Shenodsqui
tet
ooent
husi
ast
ical
l
yformyl
i
king.
Me:“Whyarey
ouev
enher
eatt
hist
ime?What
happened?
”
Nosi
:“I
’
drat
hernott
alkabouti
t.
”
Me:“Tal
ki
ngabouti
tisact
uall
ycompul
sor
ysi
nce
you’
rest
ayi
nginmyplacetoni
ght
.”
Hereyesgetglossyassheshakesherhead.Any
day
,
I
’dbel
ieveherbutlet
tingherspendthedayi
stoo
benev
olentofmeconsi der
ingwhatshe’
sdonesoI
don’
tcarethati
t’
sat ouchysubject
.
Nosi:“
I…mymom f oundoutaboutmypr egnancy.My
nosycousintol
dheraboutit.Shesay sIshoul
dn’t
comebackathomeunt i
lIknowt headdressofthe
fat
hersotheycansendt helett
er.Ishoul
dhav e
neverkeptthi
sbaby!Idon’
thav emoneyandnopl an.
Whatam IgoingtodoSuko? ”
Thenshesobs.
Me:“
Whathappenedt
othet
went
ythousandy
ougot
f
rom t
het
hreesome?”
Nosi
:“Theydi
dn’
tpayme”
Il
augh.Iknowt
hisi
sn’
tthet
imet
obutIf
indmy
sel
f
l
aughi
ng.
Me:
“Whydi
dn’
tyouaskt
hem t
ogi
vey
ouwhat
’sdue
t
oyou?
”
Il
aughagai
n.
Nosi
:“Youdon’
thav
etomakeamocker
yofme.
”
Me:“Saysthegi
rlwhoembar
rassedmeinpubli
cand
evenspatonme.Whoareyoutot el
lmewhatIcan
do?”
Nosi :
“IknowOKandIr egreteverybadIev erdi
dyou.
Youar eagoodguySukobutIwast ooblindedbymy
l
ov eformoneyandt hesoftli
fethatIfai
ledtosee
that.I
’mr eal
l
ysorr
yforeverythi
ng.IfIcouldtur
n
backt hehandsofti
me,Iwoul d-
Me: “ThisiswhatIhat eaboutpeopl e.Youbr i
ngup
soppyst ori
eswheny ouapol ogizewhi ley oudid
whaty oudidful
lyawar e.Youwer enotbl indedby
anything,youwer efull
yawar eofwhaty ouwer e
doing.Nowdon’ tyouactlikey oumadeami stake
whiley outreat
edmehowy ouf el
tlikei t.Iaccept
yourapol ogybuttherewasabsol ut elynoneedt o
comeupwi thasuppor tstatement .It’
senough
tal
kingf orthenight.Youbet tershuty ourmout hunt
il
mor ning.”
It
hrowat
wobl
anket
sather
.It
henr
emembert
hatI
hav
en’
tgot
tendressedy
etsoIabsent
mindedlydoi
t
i
nherpr
esence.It
hengeti
ntomycoversaft
er.
Mphoalway
swakesmeupi nthemorni
ng.I
t’
s
somet
hingt
hatI’
vegott
enusedt ot
hatt
hephone
onl
yri
ngsasecondthenI’
m up.
Mpho:
“Goodmor
ning”
’
Me:“
Goodmorningtoyou.YouknowIdon’
tgot
o
wor
kthi
sear
ly,
right
?”
Mpho:
“ButIam.Howdi
dyousl
eep?
”
Me:“Har
dlydi
d.Nosi
wasbusycr
ying,
bei
nga
nui
sanceand-
Yep,he’
shungup.Ihi tmyf or
ehead.Whydi dItel
l
hi
mt hat
?IguessI ’
mt hatusedtobeinghonestwi th
hi
m.Henowpr obablythinkst
here’
ssomet hing
goi
ngonbet weenNosi andIwhi l
etherei
sn’t.Itr
y
cal
li
nghim backbutitringsunanswered.
Me:
“Youneedt
oleav
e.”
Yes,i
t’
sbadofmet otakeoutmyfr
ustr
ati
onsont
o
herbutshehastogo.Mybutti
sli
kel
ygoingt
o
suff
erbecauseofher
.
Shenods.
Nosi
:“Thanky
ouf
ory
ourhospi
tal
i
ty.
”
Me:“I
t’
salsof
unnyhowy oucl
aimtohav
ebeen
t
hrownoutbutdon’
thaveanyl
uggagewit
hyou.Was
i
taplantorui
nmylif
e?”
Nosi
:“Youwoul
dn’
tunder
stand.
”
Shegetsupt
henst
ret
ches.Herey
esar
epuf
fyand
soggy
.
Me:
“Youl
ookl
i
keshi
t,y
ouknowt
hat
?”
Nosi
:“Youdon’
thavetoinsultmeever
ychanceyou
get
.It
’soutofy
ourcharacterSuko,
don’
tbeme.”
Il
augh.
Me:“Andyoudon’
tgettot
ell
mewhatIcan,haveor
shoul
ddo.WhatIsayismychoi
ce.Gety
ourarse
out”
Icl
eanwhenshe’sl
eftt
hentakeabat
h.Ical
lPoppy
whenI’
m si
tt
ingonthever
andaandbaski
nginthe
sun.
Poppy
:“Heyy
ou”
Me:
“Hi
,howar
eyou?
”
Poppy
:“I
’
m good,
your
sel
f?”
Me:
“I’
mfi
ne.I
sMphot
her
e?”
Poppy:“Ihav
en’
tbeenoutofmyr
oom butIt
hinkhe
l
eftforwork.
”
Me:
“Ohandwhatt
imedoesheusual
l
ycomeback?
”
Poppy:“
Lat
esti
susual
l
ysev
en.Don’
tyouhav
ewor
k
today
?”
Me:“IdobutIhav
et oseehi
m.He’
smadatme
wi
thouthavi
nggivenmeachancet
oexpl
ain
myself
.”
Poppy
:“Whatdi
dyoudo?
”
Isi
gh.
Me:“
It
’snothi
nghect
ic,
justt
hatheknowsNosi
slept
ov
erherandheprobabl
yblewthi
ngsoutof
pr
oport
ion.
”
Poppy:“Ar
ey oumad?!WhywouldyouhaveNosi
sleepi
ngoverther
eaft
erevery
thi
ngshe’
sdoneto
you?Doesthatheadofyourswork?
!”
Me:
“So,
youal
sonotgoi
ngt
oli
sten?
”
Shesi
ghs.
Poppy
:“Fi
ne.Whatst
orydi
dshehi
tyouwi
tht
his
ti
me?”
Itel
lherev
eryt
hinginanutshel
lfr
om herbeggi
ngon
herkneestohercry
ingal
lnightl
ong.
Poppy:
“Andhow’
sherhomesi
tuati
onyourbusi
ness?
Shespi
tyououtl
i
keusedgum andnowshewants
tocr
ytoyou?”
Me:
“Li
keIsai
d,shegotmewi
tht
hekneel
i
ng.
”
Poppy:“Andnowsheknowsy ourweakness.When
areyougoingtolearnmaraSuko?Nothinggood
evercomesfrom yourassoci
ati
onwithNosi.Mpho
haseveryri
ghttobemadbecausenow, itl
ooksl
ike
youjustpl
ayi
ngwi thhi
sfeeli
ngs.
”
Me:“
Iwantt
ofi
xthi
s.Doy
ouknowwher
ehe
wor
ks?”
Andthat
’showIf i
ndmy sel
fonaboltcabtakingme
tohi
swor kpl
ace.I
’veaskedhi
m acoupleofti
mes
whathewantsust obeandhehasn’tsaidi
t.Yet
t
hingsl
i
ket
hisaf
fecthi
m.
Therecept
ioni
sthastocal lhi
mf i
rstbef
oreI
’m
all
owedtogot ohi
soffice.Ihadtocharm myway
i
ntoherapproval
.Sheiniti
all
ywant edmetosetan
appoint
mentthengoback, speaki
ngofhowt i
ghthi
s
schedul
eisli
keIcare.
Mpho:“
Whatdoy ouwant
?Shoul
dn’
tyoubeout
t
herewi
thyourbabymama?”
Me:“
Whydoyounev
ergi
vemeachancet
oexpl
ain
andi
nst
eadj
umpint
oconcl
usi
ons?
”
Mpho:“
What ’
stheretoexpl
ain?Youhady ourbaby
mamaov erandhadhercryi
ngallni
ght.Idon’tsee
anyl
oopholesther
e.”
Me:
“So,
youdon’
ttr
ustme?
”
Hescof
fs,
Inod.
Me:“
Igeti
t,y
ouhav
etr
usti
ssues.Whenhav
eIev
er
l
iedt
oyou?”
Mpho:
“Real
l
y?”
Me:“
I’
m nott
alki
ngaboutwhenIwasateenager
,
comeon.Wedidn’tev
enremembereachot
herwhen
wef
ir
stmet
.”
Mpho:
“Fi
ne,
fai
rpoi
nt.
”
Me:“That
’sy
ousi
tti
ngont hatchair
.Howcomey our
of
fi
cehasnopict
ures?Shouldn’
titdispl
ayy
our
work?”
Mpho:
“I’
m notanar
chi
tect
ureori
nter
iordesi
gner
.”
Me:
“Ri
ght
”
Iwal
kov
erandpl
antmy
sel
fonhi
slap.
Ibr
ushhi
schi
n.
Me:“Whydon’ty
outrustme?Imeansure,I’
vebeen
al
it
t l
e…butI
’
m all
owedtoenter
tainot
herpeopl
eor
am Inot
?We’veneverspokent
it
les.
”
Mpho:“
Youcandowhatev
eryouwant
.Ify
ouwant
t
oharbory
ourexest
hengoahead.
”
Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“So,
ther
e’snous?
”
Mpho:
“No”
Inod,
bit
ingmyl
i
pthengetof
fhi
m.Thi
sfucken
hurt
sbutIcan’
tfor
cehi
mtobewithme.IguessI
needtogobackhomeanddi
gestever
ythi
ng.
Me:
“Youdon’
twantme?
”
Henods.
Me:
“Sayi
t.
”
Mpho:“I
twasjustsex.I
’
m sur
eyou’
vehadt
hat
bef
ore,
right
?”
Iscof
f.
Me:“Ofcourse.I
fthi
sishowy
ouwantt
opl
ayi
tthen
sur
ething.
”

*
***
*
i
'm st
il
lbusywithexamsguy ssoapol ogi
esifthi
sis
mediocre.ihav
en'
tdisappeared,
i'
mj ustsobusy.i
wil
lonlyfi
nishonthe26ththenI'
m allyour
s.inthe
meantime,i'
dappreci
ateyourpati
ence.
i
t'
sunedi
tedsodoexcuseanyer
ror
s.
TWENTY-
SIX
★★★★
POPPY
Ihadt hewhol enighttoconv incemy selfthatit
’s
purelybusinessand, inthismor ning,Icanconcl ude
thatthemi ssionhasbeenaccompl i
shed.I ’
m
nonchal ant,
it’
snotmuchact i
ngwi thme
reci
pr ocati
nghisener gy.Ilovewhoev ercameup
withthei deaofcolognes.Theymakeast atement
ont heirown.Butwi thhim, Iknowbyshi v er
sthat
makemyhai rstandthat’she’sher e.Iignorethem
though.I ’
m awar eofhim buthedoesn’ thav eto
knowi t
.Butwi t
hguy shisage, theyknowal otplus
he’sal awyersoIknowhe’ sgoodwheni tcomest o
readingpeopl e.
Khany
i:“
Youwantust
ohav
ethi
smeet
ingi
nabar
?”
Me:
“Goodmor
ningt
oyout
oo”
.
Khany
i:“
Let
’sgot
oMpho’
sst
udy
”
Me:
“Igetthatyoudon’twantmebuty
oudon’
thav
e
t
obesof uckenrude!
”
Icl
ickmyt onguethengrabmyphoneandfoll
owhi
m
tothestudy.I
’m wear
ingabei
gesuitwi
thblack
courtheel
s.
Khanyi
:“Howareyou?Youl
ookgood.I
’
venev
ersai
d
thi
sbutIlov
eyourhai
r”
Me:
“I’
mfi
neandt
hanky
ou.
”
Khany
i:“
Youcanr
elax,
Iwon’
tbi
te.
”
Me:
“I’
m notscar
edofy
oudude”
Hesni
cker
s.
Khany
i:“
Dude?MrDlami
niwoul
dbemuchbet
ter
si
nceyou’
ll
beworki
ngforme.
”
Me:“
Youexpectmet
ocal
lyoubyy
oursur
nameand
sof
ormal
ly
?”
Khany
i:“
Ory
oucanj
ustcal
lmesi
rMi
ssLucas”
Me:“Alr
ightsi
r.Ar
ewenowgoi
ngt
ogoov
ert
he
cont
ract?”
Khany
i:“
Iwantt
oknowi
fyouagr
eef
ir
st.
”
Me:
“That
’swhyIhav
etogot
hroughi
t.
”
Khanyi:“
Yesbutbef
oret
hat
,youhav
etosi
gnanon-
di
sclosuref
orm.Thi
smeansthat
’
Me:“Iknowwhatitf
uckenmeansbutwhyt
he
secr
ecy?You’
renotthatmuchofabi
gdeal
.”
Khanyi
:“Ihat
epeoplebei
nginmybusi
ness.Idon’
t
evenwantthatbestf
ri
endofyour
sknowi
ngat hi
ng
abouti
t.
”
Me:
“Andhowwi
l
lyouknowheknows?
”
Khany
i:“
Iwi
l
l.
”
Youknowwheny ougetthatfeel
ingthatsay
syou
shouldwal
kaway?That’
swhatIgetbutguesswhat
Ido,Isi
gnthedamnnon-discl
osure.
Thecont r
actseemsf airandsoundli
keanof f
erI’
d
best upi
dtorefusebutIstil
ldonotsignbecauseI
needasecondopi nion.Theremightbeacl ause
therewhichI’
m notawar eofwhichhemi ghtuse
againstme.Hedoesn’ tmindmeget ti
ngthatsecond
opinionwhichconcl
udesourmeet ing.Hest andsup.
Khany
i:“
Thanky
ouf
oragr
eei
ngt
othi
s.”
Me:
“Sur
e”
Khanyi
:“I
’m pr
ettysureyou’
llgetal
ongwel
lwi
th
them.Theyreal
lyaren’
tbothersome.”
Me:
“Yes.I
fther
e’sany
thi
ngel
se…”
Ist
andup.Heshakeshi
shead.
OnmywayoutofMpho’ sstudy,Ical
lSuko.We
haven’tspokensinceIgav ehim Mpho’ soff
ice
addresssoIhav enoi deahowt hatmi ghthav ewent
.
Ihopet hey’
renowof fi
cial
becauset hey ’
veplayed
Tom andJer ryfortoolongnow.
Icanfeelt
hisone’
sey esonmybackasIgodown
thestai
rswhichIcompletel
yignorebecauseI
’
m
wait
ingforSukotopickup.Hef i
nall
ydoesonmy
thi
rdatt
empt.
Me:
“Hey
,di
dIdi
stur
b?”
Suko:
“Notatal
l
”
Me:
“You’
redr
inki
ng?
”
Suko:
“Mor
eli
kenumbi
ngmypai
n.Her
eject
edme.
”
Ial
mostdr
opmyphoneasIscr
eam.
Me:
“Hedi
dwhat
?”
Suko:
“Lookedmei
ntheey
eandt
oldmehedoesn’
t
wantme”
Me:
“What
?”
Ialmostdropmyphone.Thesetwohavemad
chemistr
yandseem compatibl
esowhywoul
dhedo
that?I
talldoesn’
tmakesensetome.
Suko:
“Iknow”
Ifeel
thi
sone’
shandsonmywaist
.Hesqueezes
oncethenl
et’
sgo.Whatt
hehel
li
shist
ouchdoingt
o
me?
Suko:
“Poppy
?”
Me:
“Sor
ry”
Icl
osemyey
esf
orasecondt
henopen.
Me:
“Wher
ear
eyou?Iwannacomet
oyou”
Suko:
“Myr
oom.Ar
eyoucomi
ngnow?
”
Me:
“Yes”
Suko:
“I’
l
lgobuyy
ourst
uffi
nthemeant
ime”
Me:
“Ay
t,seey
ousoon.
”
Khany
iisst
il
lher
e.He’
sbeenbehi
ndmeal
lthi
sti
me.
Khany
i:“
I’
ll
dropy
ouof
f”
Me:
“Thatwon’
tbenecessar
y”
Khany
i:“
Iwasn’
taski
ng”
Me:
“I’
l
lcal
lacab”
Khanyi
:“St
opbei
ngdiffi
cul
t.You’
regoi
ngt obemy
employeesoIam goi
ngtotakecareofyou”
Me:
“Whataboutoursal
on?
”
Khany i
:“Li
keIsaid,t
heki
dsaren’
tbot
hersome.It
’s
onlyforthi
syearsincet
hey’
ll
beindaycarenexty
ear.
Idon’tseehowt hisj
obwil
lmakewigsewing
dif
ficul
t.
”
Atthi
spoi
nt,
I’
mtemptedt
osignthecont
ractbutI
don’t
.Het
akesmyhandandIfol
l
owhimt ohiscar
.
.
SUKOLUHLE

Ihav
ebeenf
eel
i
ngl
i
keapi
eceofshi
tbuti
t’
sal
soa
blessi
ngbecauseIdon’ thaveanywhati fs.Isai d
whatIf eel andev ent houghIgotr ejected, Ispoke
whatIf eel.Ithinki fIwasnotf ul
lyov erwhatNosi
didtome, I’
dt hinki t
’smyf aulthe’sr ej
ect edme.I ’d
probablyt hinkther e’
ssomet hi
ngwr ongwi thmeor
thatIlacksomet hing.ButI ’mf eel
ingcont entnow.I
won’tsayI ’
m giv i
nguponhi m butIwon’ tpur suehi m
anymor e.Itseemst omet here’ssomet hinggoi ng
onwi thhim, l
iket here’sar easonhe’ sholdingback.
May besomeonedi dhi m badandt hatgothi m
closedof f.Whydoesn’ thewantt ogi veusachance?
Ijustthi
nkt here’smor et oit
.May behel ikesdoi ng
goodanddoesn’ twantt hesamef orhi msel f.Money
can’tbehi sev ery t
hingbecauseatt heendoft heday ,
he’shuman.Hedeser vest ohav esomeonel ov eand
careforhi mt hesamewayhedoesf orother s.
Poppy’
sarr
ival
snapsmefr
om t
hetrance.Imi
ssed
thi
sone.Weshareahugt
henIpassheracanof
BNG.
Poppy
:“Howar
eyou?
”
Ishr
ug.
Me:
“IguessI
’
mfi
ne.I
t’
sli
fe”
Poppy:“
Ijustdon’
tgetwhat’
swrongwit
hhim.He
doesn’
twanty ouent
ert
aini
nganygi
rl
syethe
doesn’
twanttobewi t
hyou.Howdoesthatmake
anysense?”
Me:“
It
’sf
inet
hou.Ican’
tandwon’
tfor
cehi
mtobe
wi
thme.”
Poppy
:“Wel
l
,hi
sloss”
Me:
“Andy
ou?What
’supwi
thy
ourcr
ush?
”
Sheshr
ugs.
Poppy:“
Nothing.Hedoesn’
tseem tobeinter
estedin
meliket
hat.AndIthi
nkI’l
lacceptt
hejob.Anyway,I
wanttogiv
ey oumoneyy oucanuseforyourrepair
st
ore”
Me:“What?Wheredoyougetmoney ?ImeanI
…I
wantedtosaveupfori
tbecauseIcan’
tbeapet
rol
at
tendantf
orever
”
Poppy
:“I
t’
sfr
om t
hatbagKgosi
gav
eme”
Me:
“Ican’
texpectt
hatf
rom y
ou”
Poppy
:“Youcant
akei
tasal
oanori
t’
ll
bemyshar
e
i
ntheshop.
”
Me:“That’
smuchbet ter.I
’
lllookforrent
alspace
t
hent akeitf
rom t
here.Andi t’
sgoingtobecostl
yso
l
et’
sgi vei
tthreemonths.I’
l
l needmoneyt osust
ain
t
heshopunt ilwestartmakingpr of
it
.Befor
ethat,
t
here’
st henameoft hestore,logoandallt
hat.
”
Shesmi
l
esatme.
Poppy:“Il
oveseeingyoul
i
kethi
s.Weshoul
dhav
e
thoughtaboutt
hisalongt
imeago”
Me:“
Buti
t’
shappeni
ngnowbecausei
t’
sther
ight
t
ime”
Poppy:“Ver
ytr
ue.Thi
ngsar
efi
nal
l
ycomi
ngt
oget
her
forus”
Wechi
llt
ogetherandjusttal
k.Thi
sfeel
sgood,
we
hav
en’
tcaughtupinforever.
I
t’
slat
ewhensheleaves,ar
ound9pm andI
’
mjust
gr
atef
ulshecamearound.
Myphoneri
ngsaf
terIgeti
ntobed.It
’sMphoandas
muchasIdon’
twanttospeaktohim,Ist
il
lanswer
.I
feell
i
kewedon’thaveanyt
hingl
eftt
osayt
oeach
other
.Atl
eastnottoni
ght
.Heshouldgi
vemet
imeto
getovert
herej
ecti
on.
Me:
“Yeah?
”
Mpho:
“Youmadatme?
”
Me:
“Notatal
l
.”
Mpho:
“Ar
eyouf
ine?Wer
eyoudr
inki
ng?
”
Me:
“Howdoy
ouexpectmet
ofeel
?”
Mpho:“I’
m sor
ryaboutt
hatbutIhopey
ou
under
stand”
Me:
“Under
standwhatexact
ly?I
t’
snotl
i
key
out
old
mewhyyoureject
edme.”
Mpho:
“Iknowbuti
t’
sfort
hebest
”
Me:
“Don’
twor
ry,
I’
m cool
wit
hit
.”
Mpho:
“Youar
e?”
Me:“
Yes.AtleastIwon’
tfeel
gui
l
tyaboutt
his
womanlayi
ngnexttome”
Hecoughs.
Mpho:
“Yougotawomannow?
”
Me:
“Yep.Ineededt
obl
owof
fsomest
eam”
Mpho:
“Youcandoasy
oupl
ease,
it’
sfi
ne”
Me:
“Idi
dn’
tneedy
ourper
missi
on”
Hechuckl
es.
Mpho:
“Oh?
”
Me:
“Why
’dy
ouev
encal
l
?”
Mpho:“
Ial
way
scal
lyoubef
orey
ousl
eep,
not
hing
new”
Me:
“Oh,
sot
hingsar
econt
inui
ngasnor
mal
?”
Mpho:
“Whyshoul
dthi
ngschange?
”
Me:
“Let
’sswi
tcht
her
olest
hen”
Mpho:
“No”
Iscof
fandhangup.
Hedoesn’
tbot
hercal
l
ingbackwhi
chi
sgood.
*
***
Iknowi
tsshor
tbobaby
,I'
m st
il
ltr
yingt
oreconnect
TWENTY-
SEVEN
(
THREEMONTHSLATER)

NOSI

Myl if
ehasbeen…mi serable.Thebabyhasgr own,
I’
m nowatsi xmont hsandt heybeenki cki
ngl i
ke
crazy.We’ regoingt ogett her esultsfortheDNAt est
andI ’
m soner vous.I fneitherSukonorCai nist he
father,IknowI ’
mf ucked.Seei nghi m( Suko)f ort he
fi
rsttimei nthreemont hswasdepr essingf orme.He
l
ookedgood, smel ledgoodandwasgl owing.I tjust
seemedl ikethi
ngshadwor kedoutgoodf orhi m.He
l
ookedr ebornandhappy .Tot hinkwewer egood,
andIhadhi ml ovingmel iketheonl ygirlinthewor l
d,
butIfailedt oappr eci atethat.IthinkIwi l
lforev er
regretev ermistreat inghi m.Idon’ tthi
nkI ’
dev erget
aguywhowi l
ll
ov emehowhedi d.Infact,Idon’ t
thi
nkIdeser veto.Mysani t
yishangi ngbyat hread
now.I ’
vebeenst ay ingwi thCai n,butthingscan
changenowt hatwef inal
lydidt hetest.AfterIspent
theni ghtatSuko’ spl aceandwast hrownoutl i
ke
that ,myhear twaspai nful.Ihadnochoi cebutt ocall
Cai nandev enr emi ndedhi m oft hemoneyt heyowe
me, asshamef ul ast hatwas.I ’v
eputi tinasav i
ngs
accountf orr ainyday s.Ihav ebeendependenton
him si ncet hen, surpr i
sedt hatheev enal l
owedmet o
staywi t
hhi m af terIt oldhi m Iwaski ckedout .I
didn’texpecthi mt obeki ndorunder st
andi ng.Now,
themi serypar t.I’venev erfeltthisalonei nmyl i
fe.I
t
feelsl i
ket hewhol ewor l
dhast urnedi tsbackonme.
Imagi ner enov atingahouse, pay i
ngf orthedr i
lli
ngof
wat erandext endi ngt henbet hrownoutf r
om t he
samehouse.Iwast heonebuy i
nggr ocer i
esand
ever ythi
ngi nt hehousebutIwasst i
llt
hr ownout .It
feelsl i
kewast edef for t
stomebecauseIspentev ery
centIhadi nt hathouse.I thur tsal otandst il
ldoes
afteral lt
hesemont hs.Iknowmycousi nist heone
whoconv incedmymot hert ochasemeout .She
probabl yf edherl i
esbuti t’sfine.Iwi shIhadf riends
orj ustsomeoneIcanof f
loadon.Ihav eal otof
thingst hatar ewei ghi ngheav yonmebutIhav eno
oneIcant alkt o.SoIl ayher e, si
nkingdeeperi nto
thishol ethatget sdar kerthedeeperIgo.IknowI
di
dthi
sallonmyownandIhav
enoonet
obl
ame
butmysel
f.
Me:
“Mor
ning”
Isayt
oCai
nwho’
shav
ingbr
eakf
ast
.
Cain:
“Wehavet
ogo.ThesoonerIfoundout
,the
soonery
oucangetoutofmyhouse.”
Me:
“So,
yout
hinki
t’
snoty
our
s?”
Cai
n:“
Youbet
terpr
ayi
tis”
Me:
“Orel
se?
”
Hescof
fs,
shaki
nghi
shead.
Cai
n:“
Iknowy oubettingonSukoandt hinkthathi
m
bei
ngthefat
hermeansy ou’
l
l gett
orekindl
ey our
l
oveandallt
hat.Butifit
’smine,you’
l
llearntoli
ve
wit
hmeandf orgetabouthim. ”
Me:
“That
…that
’snott
rue”
Cai
n:“Whatever.I’
vebeenwatchi
ngyou,seei
ngyou
al
lstr
essed.Iknowy ou’v
ebeencryi
ngyoursel
fto
sl
eep.I’
veseeny oucomeherewitheyebagsand
puf
fyeyes.I
’l
ltellyousomet
hing;t
hesooneryou
acceptyourreal
it
y,thebet
ter
.Becauser
egardl
essof
whot hefat
heris,t
hatbabyhastobehealt
hy.”
Isigh.I
sitbadt hatI’
m hopingitdi
es?Ijust…Idon’t
thinkIwantthisbaby.Idon’thaveajob,apl aceto
staynordoIhav eaplan.Lif
eisjustsodiff
icultfor
me.Imi ssthesimpl i
cit
yofitall
.ImisswhenSuko
andIhadj uststart
eddat i
ng.Imisslovi
nghi mf or
him andnothav ingeyesforanyoneelse.
Butt
her
e’snot
hingIcandoabouti
tnow.
Aft
erbr eakf
ast,wedol eaveinhiscar.Mymi ndisn’
t
here.Hehast otapmebacki ntoreal
itywhenwe
arr
iveatourdestination.Myhear tisbeat i
ngoutof
mychestnow.I t’
st het houghtofthechi l
dbei ng
Vusi’
s.Idon’tt
hinkI ’
dbeabl etost omacht hat.Iwas
j
usthi spuppet,
playingt ohistune.IthinkI’
dhav e
swallowedhispeei fhet oldmet o.That ’
showmuch
Iwasunderhi scont r
ol.
Cai
n:“
Themomentwe’
veal
lbeenwai
ti
ngf
or”
Wegetoutoft
hecarandwal
kint
othepr
act
ice.I
’
m
scar
ed,
nodoubt.
Wef
indSukoal
readyseat
edi
nthebunkst
hati
nthe
waiti
ngroom.Igreethim butheobvi
ousl
yignor
es
me.Heonl ygreet
sCai nback.He’
sbusyt
appinghi
s
footdown,seemingli
kesomeonewho’ drat
herbe
anywhereelsebuthere.
Thedoct
orcal
lsusinandbynow,
I’
m quar
tert
o
get
ti
ngapanicatt
ack.
Dr
:“Goodmor
ning,
howar
eyouguy
sdoi
ng?
”
Suko:
“ We’dall
bemuchbet
teri
fwegottheresul
ts.I
thi
nkthisquesti
onwi
l
lbemostappr
opri
ateafter
”
Hel
ooksov
eratmeandl
ower
shi
sgl
asses.
Dr:
“ Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?Youl
ookl
i
key
ou’
reabout
tofaint
”
Suko:“
Happenswheny
oucan’
tbusti
topenf
orone
guy”
NowIf eel
li
keaskingtheeart
ht oopenupandjust
swallowme.whyam Iev ensti
ll
ali
ve?Idon’
tseethe
reasonnowon.Tot hi
nkSukousedt oworshi
pthe
groundIwalkedon…wheelsreal
lydotur
n.
Dr
:“OK,
let
’sgett
other
esul
ts.Ar
eyouguy
sready
?”
Cai
n:“
Yes”
Hehandsanenv
elopet
oeachoft
hem.
Dr:“
Iwanty oubothtobethefi
rsttoopenthem.I
f
theresul
tsi
nt heconcl
usi
onstatesthat‘
i
snot
excl
udedast hebiol
ogi
calfat
her’t
henitmeansyou
arethefat
her.”
Atthi
spoint,Ihav
emyf ingerstwist
edinmymi nd
andhopingthatit
’snotCain.Theylookateachot
her
thenst
artteari
ngtheenvelopesopen.
Iwantt
oexcusemy
sel
fbutonel
ookf
rom Cai
nhas
mebackonmychai
r.
Suko:
“Ohwel
l
,looksl
i
keImi
ssedt
hisone!
”
Myhear
tsi
nks.He’
sexci
tedanddoesn’
tev
enhi
dei
t.
Suko:
“Say
sherethatI
’
m excl
udedast
hebi
ologi
cal
fat
her
.Godisgood!
”
Cain:
“Well
,Iam.Youl
uckyi
t’
sa99%mat
ch.Let
’s
getoutofhere”
HegrabsmyhandandtheminuteI’
m onmyf eet,
he’
spull
ingmeoutt
hedoor.Iknowmywhol elif
eis
aboutt
ochangeandIdoubti
t’
sforthebet
ter
.
.
MPHO

Themi nutehecomesout ,I’

m onmyt ent
hcigaret
te.
I
’vebeenpr ayi
nghe’snotthef at
herbecauseafter
whatthatNosi di
dtohim.hecan’ thavet
hatgir
l
backinhislif
ebecauseit’
sstar t
ingtochangeforthe
bett
er.Thingsarestar
ti
ngt olookupf orhi
m andall
Nosiwillbri
ngisnegati
vi
ty.
He'sgri
nningsoI’
m guessi
nghe’snott
hefat
her.He
di
dn’twanttobe.IsawCaindraggi
ngNosioutbutI
couldn’
treadhi
sfacesincei
twasblank.
Suko:
“I’
venev
erf
eltsor
eli
eved”
He’
sjustgoti
ntot
hecar
.
Me:
“It
’snoty
our
s?”
Hescr
uncheshi
sface.
Suko:“No.di
dn’
tItellyouthat?shewantedustohit
i
tr awoutoft
heblue, ofcourseshewaspregnant
then.I
’
m notafool
, Iknowt hesethi
ngs.
”
Me:“
Youdidn’
tsuspectanyf
oul
playwhenshe
want
edi
trawthough”
Suko:
“You’
rel
uckyI
’
m ov
ert
hat
”
Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“AndIt
houghti
t’
stoosoon.
”
Suko:“
No.Iwantust
ogocel
ebr
atewi
thaf
ew
dri
nks”
Me:
“Ev
ery
thi
ngi
sar
easonf
ory
out
odr
ink.
”
Suko:
“Andy
ourpoi
nti
s?”
Me:
“Youdon’
thav
etoal
way
sdr
ink”
Suko:
“Howel
secanonecel
ebr
atet
hen?
”
Me:
“Ther
ear
eot
herway
s”
Icanf
eel
hisey
esonmeasIdr
iveof
f.
Suko:
“I’
m nothav
ingsexwi
thy
ouMpho.Iwon’
tbe
usedl
ikethat
.”
Il
augh.
Me:
“We’
l
ljustbecel
ebr
ati
ng”
Suko:
“No”
Me:“
Idon’
tgetwhynotbecausey
oust
ayf
ucki
ng
r
andoms”
Suko:“Ihav
efeel
i
ngsf
ory
ousot
hat
’swhatmakesi
t
di
ffer
ent”
Me:
“It
houghty
ouwer
eov
ert
hat
”
Suko:“I’
m notamachineMphoorsomer obot.I’
m
fuckenhumanandnotev er
yone’
sfeel
i
ngsdi sappear
l
ikethat.Igett
hatyoudon’twantmeandI ’
ve
acceptedthatbutdon’
ttemptme.Iwon’tbeabl eto
havemeani ngl
esssexwithyou.”
Me:
“Itdoesn’
thav
etobemeani
ngl
ess.
”
Hescof
fs.
Suko:“That
’si
mpossi
ble.Youdon’
tli
kemel
i
ke
that
.”
Me:“Inev
ersai
dthat
.Ij
ustsai
dIcan’
tbewi
thy
ou.
I
t’
sforyourowngood”
Suko:
“Owngoodhow?
”
Me:“IknowhowNosial
mostmessedy ouup.I
wouldn’
twanty
outogothr
oughthatorsomethi
ng
worse.”
Suko:
“Tal
ktome.howbadcanbeingwi
thyoube?
Whywouldyout
hinky
ou’
renotanygoodforme?”
Me:“
I’
m amess,Icomewithalotofbaggageand
I
’m…j
ustknowthati
t’
sbestthi
sway.”
Suko:
“Let
’sgot
oyourhouse.Ineedadr
ink”
Li
kewewer
en’
tgoi
ngt
her
e.
SometimesIdogett emptedtoreveal
ali
ttl
eof
myselfbutTrixyalwaysrefuses,
evenwit
hthe
spri
nkles.I
t’
sf orourowngood.Peoplehavebeen
unki
ndi nthepastandt hat
’sonepastwedon’tev
er
wantar epeatof.
Poppyisn’thomebutRumii
s,al
ongwithGigi
.
They’
replayingacar
dgameont hef
loori
ntheli
ving
room.Thel i
ttl
eguyr
unstoSukowhotakeshiminto
hisar
ms.
Fami
l
y,pr
icel
ess.
.
NOSI

Me:“Myfeetar
eki
l
li
ngmenow.Weshoul
dcome
backtomorr
ow”
Cai
n:“
Oh,
ok.Ij
ustwantt
hebestf
ormybabygi
rl
”
Ihuff,r
oll
ingmyey es.Hedr aggedmeher eaft
erwe
gotfrom thegynaeandf oundoutthegenderofthe
baby.We’ vebeen…actuall
y,he’
sbeenshoppingli
ke
crazysincethen.I
’vejustbeenfol
lowinghimli
kea
puppybecausewhatel secanIdo?cainalwayshas
hi
swayandIdon’ tthi
nkIcandoany t
hingaboutthat
.
Me:
“ButI
’
mti
red”
Cai
n:“
Let
’sgot
hen”
Icar
rysomeoftheshoppingbags.Ther
e’sal
ott
hat
heboughtfr
om t
utuski
rts,pi
nkhatstodi
aper
sand
paci
fi
ers.
Idon’
tworrywhenitcomestothischi
ld,
especial
l
y
becauseheseemst ohavei
tallf
igur
edout.Ican’
t
waittogi
vebir
thandjustbedonebecauseIdon’t
thi
nkIwantthebaby.
I
fCainfeel
sthi
swayabouther
,thenhecanhav
e
becauseI’
l
lbedone.
*
***
*
shor
tandunedi
ted,
pleaseexcuseanyer
ror
s
TWENTY-
EIGHT

POPPY

Nqabahast obet hemostenerget

ictoddlerever.I
spendmostoft heti
mehavingtor
unaf terhi
m butI
enj
oyi t
.Helikesplayi
ngwit
hmeunl ikehisbrother
whol i
kesplayingonhisownwithhispuzzlesand
buil
dingtoy
s.
Beinganannyisn’
tsobadandthepaycamethr
ough
forus.Iwanttosav
emoneysowecanbuyast ance
somewher eandbui
ldahouse.Iwon’
tli
vewi
thMpho
forev
er.
Khany
icomeswhenI
’
m bat
hingt
hem.I
t’
smor
ning.
Khany
i:“
Ilov
eseei
ngy
ouwi
tht
hem”
Me:
“Youal
way
ssayt
hat
”
Hechuckl
es.
Khanyi
:“Becausei
t’
str
ue.You’
reagoodnannyand
gener
all
yagoodmot her.I
’
veseenyouwi
thGigi
.
He’
ssuchawel
l
-manner
edboy
,thankst
oyou.
”
Me:
“It
ry,
thanky
ou”
Khany
i:“
You’
rebeaut
if
ul”
Ist
opwi
pingLemoandl
ookathi
m.
Me:
“What
’sgoi
ngon?
”
Khany
i:“
I’
mjustt
ell
i
ngy
out
het
rut
h”
Heshr
ugs.
Me:“I
tsoundsli
keyouwantt
ohitonme.It
’st
oo
ear
lyf
orallt
hesecompli
ments.I
’
m ov
eryou”
Hechuckl
es.
Khany
i:“
Youov
erme?
”
Me:
“Yes”
Hecomescloserunt
ilhe’
sst
andi
ngri
ghtbehi
ndme.
I
’m sor
tofsi
tt
ingonthefl
oorwhi
l
efaci
ngthebat
h
t
ub.
Ifeel
hishandsonmybackandshitgi
vesmechi
l
ls.
Yeah,Ihav
en’tgot
tenl
aidi
nawhi
le.
Iam ov
erhi
m.He’
sbeenkeepi
ngt
hingsst
ri
ctl
y
professi
onal
sothi
sissorandom ofhi
m.I’
v e
toughenedupabit
,bui
ltpal
i
sadesaroundmy
feel
ingssoI’
vemanagedtobearoundhim andnot
wanthi m.
Het
hencr
ouchesbehi
ndme.
Khany
i:“
Overme?
”
Me:“Yesandst
opseduci
ngmei
ntheki
d’s
pr
esence”
Theki
dsl
augh,
asi
ftheyknowwhatI
’
m say
ing.
Khanyi
:“I
’
m notdoi
ngany
thi
ng.Takethem outoft
he
water
.Mymom’ scomi
ngtogetthem soon”
Het
henst
andsandl
eav
es.Thatwaswei
rd.
I’
venev ermethismotheroranyofhi sfamil
yinmy
workinghere.Well
,Idon’
tneedt osinceI’mjustan
empl oyeebutI’
veseenpict
ures.I’
mj ustcur
ious,
may bebecauseofmyi nter
estinhim whichis
alar
mi ng.Idi
ddoabackgr oundcheckonhi m soI
knowmor eabouthimthanhet hi
nks.
Anyway
,IdoasI’
mtold.Hecoul
dhav ehel
pedbut
hedeci
dednott
o.It
hendrythem andgett
hem
dressedi
nthecl
otheshetookoutf
orthem.Nqaba
runsoffi
mmediat
elyaft
erIhel
phim wearhi
sshoes.
Ihavear oom her
e,sortofli
keast udi
owher
eImake
mywi gsandthingsli
ket hat
.Iusuall
ywor
kwhen
he’
sar oundorthey’
resleepi
ng.
Igetoni t
.Wehav eaboutfiveorders.Kiar
aandI
usuall
ycompletethem together
.Shedoest he
orderi
ngofthehairsincesheknowsasuppl i
erand
alsodoesinst
all
ationsforthosewhowantt hem.It
’s
refr
eshinghav
ingabusi nessandt hisfeel
ingthatI
’m
doingsomethingwi t
hmyl i
fe.I’
vestoppedbei nga
shoppingaddi
ctev enthoughIcanaf fordtonow.
I’
vegrownandIl oveit.
“
Didy
ounothearmecal
l
ing?
”
Il
i
ftmyheadupandmyey
esmeetwi
thKhany
i’
s
mother
.
Me:
“Ah,
no”
Her
:“What
’sy
ourname?
”
Thewaysheasksal
readyl
et’
smeknowshedoesn’
t
l
ikemewhichi
sfunnybutIdon’
tcar
e.
Me:
“Poppy
”
Shesqui
ntsherey
es.
Her
:“Whatdoy
ouwantf
rom myson?
”
Me:
“Excuseme?
”
Her:
“Youhear
dme.Idon’tunder
standwhyyou.Ar
e
youevenei
ght
een?Iknowgirl
sli
key ouwho-
Me:“
Stopri
ghtthere.Yoursonistheonewhochose
metolookaft
erhiskids,Ididn’
tappl
yorev
enask
hi
mforshit
.Don’tassume, ask.
”
Her
:“Whothehel
ldoy
out
hinky
ouar
espeaki
ngt
o
meli
kethat
?!”
Iscof
fandst
andup.
Me:“Idon’tt
hink,
IknowwhoIam.Iwi l
lnotbe
di
srespectedbyyou,regar
dlessofwhoyouthi
nky
ou
ar
e.Isignedacont r
actwit
hy ourson,
notyou”
Her
:“You’
recheeky
,youwon’
tlasther
e.”
Me:
“We’
ll
see,
nowi
fthat
’sal
l
,I’
dli
ket
ocont
inue
mywor
k”
Shechuckl
esandwal
ksout
.Whatt
hehel
l
?
.
SUKOLUHLE

Ihaven’ thadti
met oresti
nawhi l
e.I’
m alwaysbusy
withsomet hi
ng,whichhasbeengood.It’
sniceto
seet hingsworkingoutformelikethi
s.Inever
thoughtmyl i
fewouldbeliket
his.Icanaffor
d
my selfandhav eevenboughtsomeoft he
appliancesIhadsol dathomebackwhenIwasa
druggie
Evenmysi st
eri
ssurprisedatt
hechangeinmyl i
fe.I
rememberhowshewaswhenIwenthomeand
apol
ogizedmateri
all
yfortheharmI’
vecaused.I
wouldn’
tsaymyr el
ati
onshipwit
hmyf amil
yhas
gott
enbackt owhereitwasbutwearecivi
ltowards
eachother
.
Idon’tr
eall
ygohomeal ot
.Ijustdon’tt
hinkwe’l
l
everbehowweusedt o.Myfami l
ydidchasemeout
andhadt ur
nedthei
rbackonmesoI ’
m coolwiththe
peopleIhavei
nmyl i
feri
ghtnow.Myent anglement
withJeanhasendedandIthinkI’
mr eadytobewi t
h
someone.I
twon’thav
etobeany
thi
ngser
iousbut
we’
ll
beexclusi
ve.
I
’
mlov
ingt
hedi
rect
ionmyl
i
fei
staki
ng.
I’
m st i
llsavingupf ort herenov ati
onofmyr epai r
store.I’
mt hinkingofhav i
ngsomet hingwher e
peopl ecansel ltheiroldappl i
ancest henIfixt hem
andr esellatar easonabl eprice.Somet hinglikea
pawnshop.I t’
llbeawayf ormet omakemoneyand
sot hest orecanhav esomet hing.I’v
ebeent akinga
shor tbusinesscour seatacol legejusttofami l
iar
ize
my selfwi t
hbusi nessandsoIdon’ tunderchar ge.
It
’schal l
engi ngbei ngbackatschool ,especi
al l
yat
myagebutI ’m enj oyingit.Isti
llworkatt hepet rol
stationbutonl ypar ttime.It’
sbeengr eat.
There’
ssomeoneIal
way
spassal
mostAtt
hesame
spotEver
yti
meIgotowork.
Today
,Ideci
det
ogr
eet
.Shesmi
l
esatme.
Her
:“Hey
”
Me:“Howar
eyou?I
sitmeorIal
way
spassy
ou
her
e?”
Shechuckl
es.
Her
:“No,
def
ini
tel
ynot
.I’
m Zi
thabi
l
e”
Me:
“Suko.Il
ovey
ourv
oice”
Zi
tha:
“Iknowi
t’
sdeep”
Sher
oll
sherey
es.
Me:
“Ar
en’
tyoubei
ngl
atef
orschool
?”
She’
swear
ingschool
uni
for
m.
Zi
tha:
“I’
drat
herbe.Ihat
eat
tendi
ngassembl
y.I
’
m
gl
adit
’smylastyear
”
Shehuf
fs.
Me:“
Seeyoulat
er,
don’
twanty
oubei
ngt
ool
ate.I
t’
s
l
ovel
yknowi
ngyou”
Shenods.
Zi
tha:
“Li
kewi
se”
Ifi
ndmy sel
fwatchingherassheleav
es.There’sj
ust
somethingabouther.Idon’
treal
l
ydoschoolkids
butther
e’sj
ustthat
.
Ir
ecei
veacal
lfr
om Mphodur
ingmyl
unchbr
eak.He
st
il
lcal
l
sasf
requent
lyasheusedt
o.
Me:
“Yeah?
”
Mpho:
“Hav
eyoueat
en?
”
Me:
“Notr
eal
l
y.I
’
m aboutt
o”
Mpho:
“Letmebuyy
oul
unch”
Me:
“Igotl
unch,
I’
m cool
”
Mpho:“
You’
vebeenrefusi
ngmyof
fer
s.I
’
m not
aski
ngf
orsex,
justl
unch.”
Me:“I
’
m say
ingI
’
m cool
.I’
l
leatt
hel
unchImade
mysel
f”
Mpho:
“Thi
ngscan’
tcont
inuel
i
ket
hisSuko”
Me:
“Li
kewhat
?Idon’
tgeti
t”
Hescof
fs.
Mpho:
“It
houghtwewer
efr
iends”
Andnowhe’ smanagedtomakemef eelbad.
Avoidi
nghim wasabadcall,
Iknowt hat
.Thisis
especi
all
ybecauseIwantedtogettoknowhi m.It
’s
beentwoweekssincetheDNAt estandthat’
sthe
l
astt
imeIsawhim.Not hi
nghappenedwhenwegot
t
ohishouse.Idr
ank,
sleptthenwenthomewhenI
wokeup.
Me:
“We’
l
ldodi
nner
”
Mpho:
“Good.I
’
llpi
cky
ouupat7”
Me:
“Ay
t”
.
POPPY

Khanyi
:“Whathappenedbet
weenyouandmy
mother
?Shewant smet ofi
rey
ou.
”
We’
vej
ustar
ri
vedatMpho’
shousesi
nceI
’
m done
f
ort
heday.
Me:
“Whendi
dshet
ell
yout
his?
”
Khany
i:“
Thi
smor
ning.
”
Me:“Shedoesn’
tli
kemeandthi
nksIwant
somethi
ngfrom y
ou.Yourmot
heri
sdisr
espect
ful.
Shedoesn’
tevenknowmeandlastt
imeIchecked,I
di
dn’
tasktobehired.
”
Khany
i:“
She’
sov
erpr
otect
ive”
Me:
“Di
srespect
ful
”
Hesi
ghsandt
akesmyhand.
Khany
i:“
I’
m sorr
yaboutt
hat.Shecanbealot
someti
mes,especi
all
ywhenitcomestoherki
ds.
”
Me:
“Igett
hatbutIdon’
tcar
e.”
Khany
i:“
Alr
ight
”
Hethenki
ssesthebackofmyhandwhi
l
est
arr
ing
r
ighti
ntomyeyes.
Me:
“You’
rest
art
ing”
Khany
i:“
Iwannashi
fty
ourwomb”
Ir
etr
actmyhand.
Me:
“Youf
orr
eal
?”
Henods.
Khany
i:“
Tomor
row”
Igetoutofthecarfeel
ingexcit
ed.Yeah, i
tsucks
thatI
’mlookingfor
wardtoit.Hejustt
ol dmewhen
I’
mf i
nal
lygetti
ngapieceofhim.Yep, Idefi
nit
elyl
ied
aboutbei
ngov
erhi
m.
.
SUKOLUHLE

We’reatar estaur
antdowntown.I ’
m stil
li
nmywor k
unif
orm sincewecameher estraightfrom ther
e.The
fi
rstthi
ngIaski showhe’sbeen.He’ sgottenusedto
keepingitalli
n,act
ingl
ikehe’
sfineev enwhenhe’ s
not.
Mpho:“I
’v
ebeengood.I
’
mleavi
ngforAmster
dam
soon.I
fyoudi
dn’
thavewor
k,we’
dleavet
ogether
”
Me:
“Isi
tbusi
ness?
”
Mpho:
“Sor
tof
.Ial
soj
ustneedabr
eakf
rom l
i
fe”
Me:
“Why
?”
Hescof
fs.
Mpho:“
Idon’
tusuall
yspendthismonthhere.I
t
remi
ndsmeofthingsI’
m bat
tl
ingtofor
get.Bei
ng
awayal
waysworks”
Me:
“Youl
eav
ingf
ort
hewhol
emont
h?”
Mpho:
“Poppywi
l
lbef
ine”
Me:
“Youdon’
tli
ket
alki
ng,
doy
ou?
”
Mpho:
“Ihav
etogo”
Hestandsupandt
akesoutsomenot
esf
rom hi
s
wal
let.
Me:
“What
?Wehav
en’
tev
enhadt
hemai
ncour
se”
Mpho:
“Ij
ust
…hav
eto.I
’
llcal
lacabf
ory
ou”
He’
sal
readyonhi
swayout
.Whatj
usthappened?
TWENTY-
NINE

SUKOLUHLE

Atthi
spoint
,I’
m notsurpr
ised.Idon’ti
mmedi at
ely
l
eavebutdecidetohavedinneronmyown.Ipay
wit
hthemoneyhel eft
.He’swei r
dandI ’
m nowatt he
poi
ntwhereI’
m nolongerrunningfrom hi
m.I’l
lmeet
wit
hhim whenhewant sust obutIwon’tpursuehim.
Ihav
eaboZi
thawhowoul
dappr
eci
atemyat
tent
ion.
Ical
lPoppybecausewehaven’
tspokeninawhile.I
missherbutwe’vebot
hbeenbusywithbusi
ness
andli
feingener
al.We’
rest
il
lcl
osethou,t
hathasn’t
changed.
Poppy
:“Hewant
stoshi
ftmywomb”
She’
sexci
tedwhi
chhasmechuckl
i
ng.
Me:“I
sit
?Idon’
tgetwhyy
ou’
rest
il
lhungupont
his
guy
”
Poppy
:“Ar
en’
tyouonMpho?
”
Me:“
We’r
ejustf
ri
ends.I
’
mjustbei
ngt
her
eforhi
m
t
hatway
,nofucki
ng”
Shesuckshert
eet
h.
Poppy:“
What
everbutI
’
mfi
nal
l
ygoi
ngt
obendov
er
forhi
m”
Me:“
Idon’
tknowPops.Somet
hingi
sof
faboutt
his.
Whynow?”
Poppy:“Ithi
nki
twashispl
anallal
ong.Nowthat
he’sseenmewi t
hhiski
dsandhowIt akecar
eof
them,he’sfi
nal
l
ylet
ti
ngmei n.
”
Whensheputsi tt
hatway ,Iguesshe’ smaking
sense.Theman’skidscomef i
rsttohim somay be
that
’swhati
tis.ButwhydidMphowar nheragai
nst
him somuch?He’sknownt heguyl ongersoIdon’t
thi
nkhewasmi staken.Iwon’tev ensayhe’sjeal
ous
becausehe’
snotst r
aight
.
Me:
“Hav
eyouf
all
eni
nlov
ewi
thhi
m?”
Poppy
:“What
’sl
ove?
”
Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“That
’smor
eli
kei
t.Justdon’
tfor
getwhatMpho
sai
d”
Poppy
:“Youwor
ryt
oomuch,
it’
snotheal
thy
”
Me:“
Butfory
outostil
lbehangupont
hisguy
,do
yout
hinkt
hat’
sheal
thy?”
Poppy
:“Whatar
eyousay
ing?
”
Me: “
Thatyou’
vecaughtf
eel
i
ngsandf r
om whatI
’m
seei
ng,you’
lll
ovehi
m morethanhecaneverl
ove
you.That
’sdanger
ous”
Poppy:“
Iappr
eci
atey
ourconcer
nbutIgott
his.I
l
ovethatyoul
ooki
ngoutf
orme.”
Me:
“So,
youwon’
tacknowl
edget
haty
ou’
vecaught
f
eel
i
ngs?”
Shechuckl
es.
Poppy
:“Sexual
?Ibeen”
Me:“Thi
sisseri
ous.Idon’
twantyoutogothrough
whatIwentthr
oughwi t
hNosi.Thatwasi
ntense”
Poppy:“
Idon’
tseeitgett
ingther
e,rel
axSuko.Iknow
you’
reconcer
nedbutreal
ly,i
t’
sjustsex”
Me:
“Nott
oyoubutf
ine,
I’
ll
stopbei
nganui
sance”
Poppy
:“Thanky
ou.How’
sev
ery
thi
nggoi
ngt
hou?
”
Me: “Cool,gotnocomplai
nts.I’
m happywi thwhereI
am andIl ookforwar
dtof i
nishupwi t
hthe
renovati
onssoIcanqui tatthepetrolst
ation.I
t’
s
ti
ringplusI’mtir
edofyourmot her
’swantingapi ece
ofme”
Shelaughs,l
i
keshealwaysdoeswhenIt el
lher
aboutthi
s.Thosewomenaretroublesome.Someof
them r
eall
ybebeaut
if
ulbutI’
vestoppedthefucki
ng
around
1Ther
e’smor
etol
i
fet
hanr
andom sex.
Poppy:
“Youknowsomeofthem ar
eri
ch,
right
?Or
you’
vefor
got
tenhoweasi
l
yitist
omakemoney ?”
Me:
“I’
m notaboutt
obeaBen10”
Poppy
:“Therear
enomoral
swheni
tcomest
o
money,don’
tyouknowt
hat
?”
Me:
“Andy
ou’
resuchabadi
nfl
uence”
Poppy:“
It
’sgoingtospeedthingsupforyou.The
bonusi
sy ou’
resingl
eri
ghtnowsoy oucandono
att
achments.They’
regoingtomerelyspeedthi
ngs
upf
ory
ou”
Me:“
Iwonderhowy
ouf
ail
edt
oconv
inceKhany
ito
gi
veyousome”
Shel
aughs.
Poppy
:“Idi
dn’
ttr
yhar
denough.Besi
des,
Idi
dn’
t
wantt
obepushy”
Me:“Andy
ousti
l
lhaven’
tsl
eptwi
thany
onesi
nce
Kgosi
,whi
chi
sn’
tli
keyou.
”
Poppy:“
Soy
oul
ovemehoei
ng?Ihav
en’
texact
lymet
anyone”
Me:
“Youdon’
treal
l
yhaveto.I
’
mtr
yingtoshowy
ou
t
hefactt
haty
oucaughtf
rom t
hef
ir
stti
me”
Poppy
:“Ihav
en’
t!
”
Il
augh.
Me:
“Ify
ousayso.I
’
m dr
owsymansowe’
l
ltal
k”
Poppy
:“Goodni
ght
,Il
ovey
ou.
”
Me:
“Il
ovey
out
ooandGoodni
ght
”
Socr
azybutI
’
dnev
erwi
shhert
obeasbl
i
ndedasI
waswithNosi
.That
’sonel
essonIwouldn’
twanta
r
epeatoforev
enwishonmywor stenemy.
.
POPPY

Ican’thelpmygoodmoodi nthemor ning.Khanyi

doesn’tseem li
keaguywhodoesn’ tmeanwhathe
says.Ifeelshiv
ersjustwhenIr ememberhi swor ds.
Isitnormal t
obeat t
ractedtosomeonel i
kethis?Yes,
i
t’sallsexualbutIcannotignorei
tsintensit
y.
Me:
“Mor
ningev
ery
one”
Rumi
:“Hi
sis,
yougoi
ngsomewher
e?”
Me:
“It
’sSat
urdaybutIdohav
epl
ans.Why
?”
Rumi
:“Iwantt
obr
aidmyhai
r,al
ongwi
thGi
gi”
Me:
“Yourhai
rseemsf
ine”
Rumi:“
YesbutIwanttobr
aidi
t.Canyoucal
lTsebo
andaskhi
m?Iwantt odomynailsaswel
l”
Me:
“Whyar
eyouget
ti
ngy
our
sel
fdol
l
edup?
”
Sheshr
ugs.
Rumi:“Justfeel l
ikeit.I
’
m al
sogoi
ngouttonight
wit
hmygi r
lfriends.There’
sapart
ybutIpromiseI
won’tspendt heni ghtaway”
Me:
“Whatpar
tyandwhyhav
eInothear
dofi
t?”
Rumi:“I
t’
sSandy’
sfi
ft
eenbi r
thday.Idi
dn’
ttel
lyou?I
boughtheragi
ftandal
l.Icannotnotgo?”
Me:
“YourSandy
?”
Shegi
ggl
es.
Rumi
:“She’
snotmi
ney
et”
Me: “
Mm,Iheary
ou.I
t’
sfi
ne,
youcangobutonl
y
becausey
ouwanther
”
Mpho:
“Whowant
swho?Oaj
olaRumi
?”
Rumi
:“What
?No”
Il
augh.
Me:
“Wecangot
oTseboaf
terbr
eakf
ast
”
I
’m ex
citedaboutl
ateron,pr
obabl
ymightbewhyI
’m
notgi
vingRumi at
ought i
meaboutthi
s.Nott
hatI
would.Ihav
enodoubtthatshecant
akecar
eof
her
self,t
hat
’sagi
ven.
Mphodr i
vesust oTsebo,wi
thoutusaski
ngsincehe
off
ered.I
tcannev erbetoobusyforme.Ial
sogetto
gi
veKiarathewigsImadewhi charealr
eadyinthei
r
couri
erpackages.
Tsebo:
“Heh,
areSukoandt
hathunknowdat
ing?
”
Me:
“Ther
e’snohopef
ort
hoseones”
Tsebo:“
Letmeguess,
dar
kchocol
atei
sint
he
cl
oset.
”
Il
aughandshr
ug.
Me: “Couldbe.Mphoisso…closedoff.Hedoesn’t
l
ikerevealingdet
ail
sabouthimsel
f.It
hinkit
’swhy
hedoesn’ twantSukocl
oser.He’
sprobablyfaced
disappointmenti
nthepastanddoesn’twanta
repeat”
Tsebo:
“Hav
ey ou?BecauseIdon’
tremembery
ou
havi
ngaser
iousrel
ati
onship”
Me:
“Thi
sisn’
taboutmeandno,
nott
hatIknowof
.”
Tsebo:
“Mm butt
heyhadgr
eatchemi
str
y.Sucha
pi
tyt
heydi
dn’
tgi
vei
tashot
”
Me:
“Indeed.Howar
ethi
ngsathome?
”
Tsebo:“Mxm.Mysi steri
spregnanty
etagain.Idon’
t
getwhyshealwayscomeshomewhenshe’ s
expecti
ng,nowIhavet odealwit
hhermoodswi ngs.
She’ssuchadrag,alwayseati
ngandsendingme
around”
Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“Doesn’
tshehav
eacar
?”
Tsebo:“Shedoesbutwhycan’
tshedri
v eher
sel
fto
boChickenli
ckenwhenshegetshercravi
ngs?I
’m
nottheonewhogotherpregnantmoss.”
Me:“Youguy sdon’
tgetti
redofy ourcatf
ight
s,do
you?She’
slikeyourt
wi nsi
sterandy ouhavemorein
commont hany ouwishtoadmit”
Tsebo:
“Idon’
tcare.Shemustbot
herherboy
fri
end
wit
hherpregnancyandleav
emeoutofit”
Me:
“Wel
l
,you’
l
lendur
eli
key
oual
way
sdo”
Tsebo:
“Asi
fIhav
eachoi
ce”
Khanyiist
heonewhofet
chesus.Hecamewhen
TsebowasdonewithRumiandhalf
waythr
ough
brai
dingGigi
.
Thewayhekeepsl ooki
ngatmeisenoughtohave
mesqueezi ngmyt hi
ghs.We’
redroppi
ngoffRumi
andGigifirstt hengoingtohi
shouse.Wekindof
haveittoour selv
essincehi
skidsarewit
hthei
r
grandparent s.
Rumi:
“Don’
tforgetIhavetogotothepart
y.Idon’
t
wantyout
racki
ngmyl ocat
iont
hencomingtoshout
atmeasifIl
eftwithoutlet
ti
ngyouknow.”
Me:
“I’
venev
erdonet
hat
”
Rumi
:“Buty
oucapabl
eofi
t.I
t’
ssomet
hingy
ou’
ddo”
Me:
“Fi
ne,
I’
ll
setar
emi
nder
.”
Ir
oll
myey es.Shewi
nksatmethenget
soffwi
th
Gi
giwhogivesmeakiss.Mybabyl
ookssogood
wi
thhisbr
aids.
Khanyi
:“I
’
m gladyoudi
dnot
hingwi
thy
ourhai
r.I
pr
eferi
tnatur
al”
Me:
“Idi
dn’
tfeel
li
kei
t”
Khany
i:“
I’
m gl
ady
oudi
dn’
t.
”
Idon’
tsayanythi
ngtothat
.Ther
estofthedr
ivei
s
rat
hersi
lent
.Heopensmydoorlikeheusual
l
ydoes
whenwear r
ivethent
akesmyhand.
Khany
i:“
Youhungr
y?”
Me:
“Notr
eal
l
y”
Khany
i:“
Itdoesn’
tmat
ter
,I’
m st
il
lfeedi
ngy
ou.
”
Me:
“Foramoment
,It
houghtIhadachoi
ce”
Khany
i:“
Notwheni
tcomest
ome.
”
Ist
hatevenright
?Idon’tcarebutitmakesmehot .
He’
shadhi schefpreparef
oodf orus.He’sfeeding
melambchopswi t
hcream spinachanddumbl ing,
somethi
ngIwasn’texpecti
ngbutIdon’ tshowt hat
.
Thefoodisamazing.Ilegi
teatuntil
mypl ateis
empty.
Me:
“Whyam Ihav
ingnonal
cohol
i
cwi
ne?
”
Khany
i:“
Idon’
twanty
oudr
inki
ng,
atl
eastnott
oday
”
Me:
“Why
?”
Khany
i:“
Idon’
twanty
out
hinki
ngIt
ookadv
ant
ageof
y
oui
nanyway
”
Il
augh.
Me:
“Noonet
akesadv
ant
ageofme”
Khany
i:“
Yesbutst
il
l.
”
Het urnsmychai rtohissoourkneesaret ouching
thenleanst owardsme.Fuck,Ican’tbel
i
evet hisis
happening.Justwhenourl i
psareaboutt otouch, we
hearacl ap.Khanyidoesn’
tstopthouandst il
lkisses
me.Themi nuteourli
pstouch,Ifeelabuzzof
electr
ici
ty.Thisi
sreall
yhappening.
“
HehKhany
il
e!”
Hegr
oansandl
et’
sgo.I
t’
sav
oiceofaman.
Khany
i:“
Real
l
y?”
Hi
m:“
Yourmot
hert
oldmeaboutawoman.You?
”
He’
slooki
ngatme,
standi
ngaf
ewf
eetawayf
rom
us.
Thequest
ionsoundsr
het
ori
cal
soIdon’
tanswer
.
Khany
i:“
Whyarey ouher
e?Youcan’
tjustbar
gei
n
her
e.Where’
sli
tt
leMissGol
d?”
Hi
m: “That
’snothowy
ouwel
comey
ourl
i
ttl
ebr
other
.
I
’m ex
pecti
ngahug”
I
t’
sonlywhenhesaysthi
sthatIseefami
li
ar
f
eatur
es.Nothi
ngobvi
ousbutthere’
ssome
r
esemblance.
Khany
i:“
Man,
Igrewupseei
ngy
ourf
ace.Idon’
t
needt
odoanythi
ng”
Him:“
Oh, becauseyou’
reabouttogety
ourwi
ckdet
.
Igeti
t.I
’
m Kany oandwho’reyou?”
He’
slooki
ngatmeagai
n.
Me:
“Poppy
”
Het
akesmyhandandki
ssesi
t.
Kany
o:“Lovel
ymeeti
ngyou.Hi
smom spokeofnot
tr
ust
ingyouandI
’m her
etospy”
Khany
i:“Youl
ikespeaki
ngasi
fshe’
snoty
our
stoo.
Now,excuseus.”
Kany
o:“
Seey
ouar
oundPops”
Whenhebegi
nsst
eppi
ngaway
,Khany
iiski
ssi
ngme
agai
n.
THI
RTY

POPPY

Mpho:“You’
vebeenqui
etsi
ncey
est
erday
.Wasi
t
t
hatbad?”
Me:
“Waswhatbad?
”
Rumi
:“Thesex,
duh”
It
urnt
oher
.
Me:
“Whot
aughty
ouaboutsex?
”
Rumi
:“Real
l
y?”
Ihuf
f.Ki
dsoft
oday
,shaki
ngmyhead.
Mpho:
“Whathappened?
”
Me:“
Itwasgood,
real
l
ygoodbutIj
ust
…Idi
dn’
tenj
oy
i
t”
Mpho:
“You’
renotmaki
nganysense”
Me:
“Rumi
,gi
veussomespace.TakeGi
giwi
thy
ou”
Shedoesn’
tar
guebutdoesexact
lywhatIsay
.She
canbewell
-manner
edifshewant
stobe.
Me:“
Wedi dn’
tdoi
tonhisbed,whi
chkindoftur
ned
meoff.Whyshoul
dwehav esexontheguest
room
whi
l
ehe’snotmarri
edorseei
nganyone?”
Mphochuckl
es.
Mpho:“Funnyyousayt
hisaf
terspeakingofhow
you’
renotint
ohim.Whydoesitmatterwhereyou
didi
t?Yougotwhatyouwanted!
”
Me:“
NothowIwantedit
.Ij
ust
…itwasj
ustsexandI
ki
ndofexpect
edmore.
”
Mpho:
“Youwant
edhi
mtomakel
ovet
oyou?
”
Ibi
temyl
i
pandnod.
Mpho:“From whereI’
m st
andi
ng,hefeel
sthesame
wayyoucl ai
mtof eel
abouthi
m.Hegav eyouwhat
hethoughtyoualsowant–justsex.
”
Me:
“Yousai
dsexwi
thoutcr
ingi
ng”
Heshr
ugs.
Mpho:
“Soundsl
i
kei
t.Any
way
,yougetme?
”
Ihuf
f.
Me:
“Ido.
”
Myphoner i
ngsandspeakofthedevi
l.Icont
emplat
e
notansweri
ngbuthe’salsomybossanditcoul
dbe
abouttheki
ds.Ianswer.
Me:
“Hey
”
Khanyi
:“Heyyourself
.How’
rey
oudoi
ngt
oday
?You
seemedoffyesterday”
Me:
“I’
mfi
ne,
happy
”
Khanyi:
“ Yousoundli
ket
hecompl
eteopposi
te.What
wentwr ongyester
day?I
t’
ssomet
hingy
ou’vealway
s
wanted”
Me:
“Itdoesn’
tmat
ter
.Ist
her
eany
thi
ngwr
ong?
”
Khany
i:“
Comeoutsowecant
alkaboutt
his”
Hehangsupaf
ter
,leav
ingmenochoi
ce.Igetonmy
f
eet
.
Mpho:“He’
sher
e?”Inod.“
Thi
smanactsl
i
kewe’
re
notf
ri
ends.Why’
shenotcomingi
n?”
Ishr
ug.
Me:
“I’
l
ltal
ktohi
m abouti
tthough.Letmego”
Iki
sshi
scheekt
henwal
kout
.
Hegetsoutasusualt
oopenmydoor .Thist
ime,he
doesn’
tdr
iveoffimmedi
atel
y.We’r
einthebackseat
andhe’
swat chi
ngmeinscruti
ny.
Khany
i:“
Tal
ktome.
”
Me:“Ifel
toffendedwheny oudi
dn’twantust owel
l…
doitony ourbedorroom rat
her
.Whydi dn’ty
ou
mindanywher ebuty ourr
oom?It’
snotlikeyou’
re
marri
edori narelat
ionshi
p.Unl
essI’
m mi ssi
ng
something”
Khanyi
:“Myr
oom i
soffli
mit
s.It
’ssomet
hingy
ou’
l
l
j
usthavetomakepeacewit
h.”
Me:
“Why
?”
Khanyi:
“You’
renotmygirl
fr
iendPoppyandIt
hought
you’
resmartenoughtoknowi t
’sgoi
ngtobej
ustsex
betweenus.I
sn’tt
hatwhatyouwanted?”
Iscof
f.
Me:“
Thenwhyt
hedelay?Whydi
dn’
twehav
eitt
hat
t
imewhenwefi
rstmet?
”
Khanyi
:“Becauseever
ythi
nghappensonmyt
erms
andnotyours.I
’mtheadulther
e”
Me:
“Theagecar
d,r
eal
l
y?”
Isni
cker
.
Me:“
You’
reunbel
ievabl
e.Justsoyouknow, Ir
egr
et
ev
erdesi
ri
ngyou.Thesexwasdi sappoi
nti
ng”
Hel
aughs.
Khanyi:“Whydidn’tyoumakemest op?Idon’tget
whyy ou’dbesor esponsiv
eandpar ti
cipat
ivewhen
youwer en’tf
eeli
ngit.I
’v
ehadsexf orsomanyt i
mes
thatI
’dknowwhenawomanf akesanor gasm.
Yourswer en’
tfake”
Me:“
Mybodymi
ghthav
eenj
oyedi
tbuti
tdoesn’
t
meanIdi
d”
Hesqui
ntshi
sey
es
Khanyi
:“Oh,
nowIgeti
t.Youwantdeep,
slowl
ove
making,
don’ty
ou?
”
Me:
“What
?No”
Khany
i:“
No,
no.Youwantemot
ions,
don’
tyou?
Becauset
heroughf uckingi
sn’
tyourcupoft ea.You
wantmetolookintoey esasIdeli
verslow,
passi
onat
estrokes.I’
l
lgiveyouthat.Youwantmy
bed?You’
l
lgetit”
Me:
“It
houghti
t’
sof
fli
mit
s”
Khany
i:“
Was”
Ialmostcum inmypants.Hegetsoutthenwalksto
thedri
ver’
sseat,i
mmediatel
ystart
ingthecaraft
er
hegetsin.Ihavemythi
ghsclenchedtogetherwit
h
myhear tboomingwi
thecstasy.Damn, i
t’
sreal
l
y
whatIwant .
We’reki
ssingwi t
hmyl egsaroundhi swai stt
he
minutewe’rebothoutoft hecar.It’
sdif
ferentthi
s
ti
me–sl ow, passionateandsul t
r y
.Hepi nsme
agai
nsthiscar,sti
llkissingme.Iexpecthi shandsto
expl
oremybodybutt heydon’t.Theyremai nonmy
butt
,squeezingever yonceinawhi l
e.Hebr eaksthe
ki
ssbutourf oreheadsr emainpr essedtogether.
Khany
i:“
Makel
ovehuh”
Ibi
temyl
i
p.
Khanyi
:“Sayi
t.Tel
lmeit
’swhatyouwantandI
’
llgi
ve
i
ttoyou.You’
renotshy
,areyou?
”
Me:
“Iwanty
out
omakel
ovet
ome”
Heki
ssesmyf or
eheadt
henputsmedown.Hetakes
myhandthenweleavet
hegarageandpr
oceed
i
nsi
dethehouse.
We’resil
entbutmyhear tmakesthemostnoi se.I
’
ve
neverfel
tli
ket hi
spriort
odoingthedeed.Heopens
hi
sdoorandt hefi
rstthi
ngIseeisalandscape
pi
ctureofawomanont hewallt
hat’
sabov ehis
headboard.Ihalt
.
Khany
i:“
What
?”
Me:
“Ist
hather
?”
Hesi
ghs.
Khany
i:“
That’
sLesedi
,Lemo’
smom.I
t’
swhyIdi
dn’
t
wantyoucomingi
nhere.”
Me:
“Uhm,
it’
sfi
ne.
”
Khany
i:“
Icanseei
t’
snot
.May
bey
ouneedt
imet
o–“
Ismashmyl
i
psonhi
s,cat
chi
nghi
m of
fguar
d.I
don’
tcareabouthisghostgirl
fr
iendatthi
spoint.
She’
snother e,
isshe?Themanal l
owingmei nhere
sayssomethingabouthim wantingtomoveon.I
rememberZur iandhowIttookmesuchal ongti
me
toacceptandmov eon.Ihadherr oom cl
osedand…
oh.Hesitsonthebedandmakesmesi tonhim,legs
besi
deshiswi t
hhistor
soinbet weenandusf aci
ng
eachother.
Khany
i:“
Yousur
e?”
Me:
“Yes”
Ihaveafeel
inganodisn’
twhathewant s.Hecups
mycheeksandnods.There’
ssomet hi
ngabouthow
helooksatme.I
tgiv
esoffassurancewhi chi
s
comfort
ingandmakesmewantt hismor e.
Hekissesmeagain,hishandsbrushi
ngmyback.It
feel
sdiff
erent
,moreintenseandIwouldn’
twanti
t
anyotherway.
Me:
“Youhav
econdoms?
”
Khany
i:“
Ido.Rel
ax”
AndIdoj
ustt
hat
.
.
SUKOLUHLE

Idi
dn’tthi
nkI’
dbedoingthisbuther
eam I.I’
m with
Li
ndoandCai ntoaskaboutMphoandhi shistor
y.
Yes,Ishoul
dnotbesnoopi ngbutmaybetheyknow
what’supwithhi
mt hatIdon’t
.
Cai
n:“Whyareweher
e?It
houghtt
heNosi
issuei
s
set
tl
ed.I
’mthefat
her
”
Ir
oll
myey
es.
Me:“Thi
sisn’
taboutNosi
.Ifi
twas,
Lindowoul
dn’
t
behere.
”
Li
ndo:
“So,
it’
saboutMpho?
”
Me:“
I’
mtry
ingtounder
standwhat
’sgoi
ngonwit
h
hi
m.Hehasatri
pduesoonandhe’ll
beawayf
orthe
whol
emonth.Why?”
Li
ndo:
“Shoul
dn’
tyoubeaski
nghi
mthat
?”
Me:“Y’
all
woul
dn’tbeher
eifheact
uall
ytol
dme.
He’
sclosedof
f.I
t’
sli
kewithhi
m wetaketwost
eps
f
orwar
dandt
enback.
”
Cai
n:“He’
ll
openuptoyouwhenhefeel
sit
’st
ime,
if
heeverwantst
o.Justl
ethi
m be.
”
Me:
“So,
youknowwhat
’sup?
”
Lindo:“Look,
givehimti
me.He’sbeenthroughal
ot.
I’
dtellyoubuthe’l
lknowyouknowfrom how
diff
erentyou’
llbetowar
dshim.”
Me:
“Not
hingwi
l
lchange”
Lindo:“
Itwil
l
.Youcansaythatbuty
ou’l
lbedi
ff
erent
towardshim.Lett
hingsworkt
hemselv
esout”
Me:
“Gi
vemeacl
ueatl
east
”
Theybot
hst
andup.
Cain:“
Dude,mindyourbusi
ness.I
fyou’r
elikethi
s
thenI’
m notsur
pri
sedyou’r
einthedark.Change
youratt
it
ude”
Ihuff
,watchi
ngthem l
eavethenshrug.Itri
ed.Heck,
Iwentali
ttl
eovertheboundaryev
en.I’m donefor
real
thist
ime.
Ical
lZi
thaonmywayhome.Igothernumbert
his
mor
ning.
Zi
tha:
“Suko”
Me:
“Hey
,yougood?
”
Zi
tha:
“Iam.Idi
dn’
tthi
nky
ou’
dcal
lthi
ssoon”
Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“Idi
dn’
taskfory
ournumberj
ustsoIcankeepi
t
i
nmycontact
s”
Shel
aughs.
Zi
tha:
“Isee.Any
way
,ar
eyougoodt
oo?
”
Me:
“Yes,
Iam.I
’
m hopi
ngIcanseey
ou”
Zi
tha:
“Yousawmet
oday
”
Me:
“Wi t
houtt
heunif
orm.Idon’
twantt
obe
r
emindedofhowoldert
hanyouIam”
Zi
tha:
“I’
m al
most21soy
ou’
renott
hatol
d.”
Me:
“Forr
eal
?”
Zitha:
“Yeah.Notall
ofusfi
nishschool
onr ecor
d
ti
me.Ther ewereafewbumpsher eandtherebutI
’
m
thankful
Imadei tt
omatri
c.”
Me:“
Examsar
ecomi
ngsoon.Doy
out
hinky
ou’
re
r
eady?”
Zi
tha:“I
’m pr
epar
edbuti
fyouof
fert
otut
orme,
I
won’tsayno”
Me:
“Thenmeetwi
thmeandwe’
l
ltal
kaboutt
hat
t
oo.
”
Zi
tha:
“Fi
ne,
whatt
ime?
”
Me:
“Di
dyouj
ustr
oll
yourey
esatme?
”
Shesqueal
s.
Zi
tha:
“Howdi
dyouknowt
hat
?”
Me:
“If
elti
t.I
t’
sdi
srespect
ful
”
Zi
tha:
“I’
m sor
ryMrGr
ey”
Il
augh.
Me:“
Hell
no.I’
m suchagent
lel
over
,Idon’
tdoal
l
t
hatBDSM shi
t”
Zi
tha:
“Youdoseem gent
le,
sof
tev
ens”
Me:
“Ah,
thatdoesn’
tsoundl
i
keacompl
i
ment
”
Zi
tha:
“Iti
s.Ij
ust
…Idon’
treal
l
yli
ker
oughguy
s.I
pr
efert
eddybear
s”
Me:
“I’
m notf
atorchubby
”
Shechuckl
es.
Zit
ha:“
Idon’
tmeani
tli
ket
hat
.You’
rehandsome,
youknowthat
?”
Me:
“Nopbutt
hanky
ou.CanIt
akey
ouout
t
omorr
ow?”
Zi
tha:
“Lunchi
sfi
ne”
Me:
“Awesome.Takecar
e”
Zi
tha:
“Yout
oo”

*
***
***
Thisisyest
erday'
sinser
t.Iwast
rav
eli
ngand
couldn'
tpost.Pl
easedocommentandshare.
THI
RTY-
ONE

MPHO

Mybagsar epackedandr eadysoI ’

m wait
ingonthe
gents.Poppyst il
lhasn’tcomehomebutI ’
vebid
Rumi andGi gifarewellal
ready .TheyhaveSophie
who’lll
ookaf tert
hem whenPoppyi satwor kor
occupiedwi t
hsomet hi
ng, especial
lyduri
ng
weekends.Idon’ tknowwhat ’shappeningwith
Khanyi butIdoknowt hey’
llbespendi ngsome
l
eisuret i
met ogether
.Ican’ tkeepwar ni
ngherabout
theman, she’sagr ownasswoman.
Me:
“Fi
nal
l
y”
They’
renowhere.I’
m sur
prisedKhany
i camesi
nce
hehasthetendencyofparkingi
nmyy ardandnot
comingint
omyhouse.
Li
ndo:
“Uhm, wehav
etot
alkt
oyouabout
somet
hing”
Hel
ooksatCai
nwhonods,
maki
ngmewonderwhat
t
hehel
li
sup.
Me:
“Thatser
ioust
haty
ouwon’
tev
engr
eet
?”
Khany
i:“
Yo,
yougood?
”
Webumpf
ist
sandhug.
Me:
“I’
m…f
ine,
you?
”
Hesmi
l
es.
Khany
i:“
I’
m gr
eat
”
Me:
“Youl
ookwei
rdwheny
ousmi
l
e”
Khanyi
:“What
everTr
ixy
.I’
m get
ti
ngmy
sel
fadr
ink,
you’
ll
callmewhenyoudone”
He’sgonebeforeIcanr epri
mandhimf orit.You
don’tj
ustsaythat
,especiall
ybecauseTrixyhates
whensomeoneel setalksabouther.Idon’twantto
getsnappyandallmoody ,
notnow.
Cai
n:“
Ithi
nky
oushoul
dsi
t”
We’r
eint
hel
ivingr
oom sowedojustt
hat.Khanyii
s
att
hebar
,al
readypour
inghi
msel
faglassofbrandy.
Me:
“What
’sgoi
ngon?
”
Li
ndo:
“Sukoi
ssnoopi
ng”
Me:
“Whatdoy
oumeansnoopi
ng?
”
Li
ndo:“Hesummonedust
henaskedquest
ions
abouty
ou”
Ihuf
f.
Me:
“Quest
ionsl
i
ke?
”
Li
ndo:“
Basi
call
ywant edtoknowwhyy ou’
rel
eav
ing
andwhyyou’
reclosedoffandal
lthat
.Hewantedto
knowwhyyouhav en’
topeneduptohim.I’
dli
keto
knowwhytoo”
Me:“Sukohasnori
ghtgoi
ngbehi
ndmybackand
aski
ngquesti
onshehasnori
ghtaski
ng.It
rusty
ou
guysbuti
fyoubetr
ayme…”
Cain:“Ofcoursewewoul dn’
t.Wewoul
dn’
tbetel
l
ing
youthisifwehad.Puthim onhisl
anebef
orehe
start
sdiggingelsewher
e”
ThenIrememberPoppyandherI Tski
ll
s.Thegirl
hastheabi
li
tytofi
ndoutanythi
ngandev er
ythi
ng.
I
t’
snotevenjustsoft
warebutshe’smessedwith
peopl
ewhocanr eal
lydi
g.ThatKgosiguyisa
l
ongti
megangst
er.Toget
her
,theycanf
indout
any
thi
ng.
Me:
“Thatsonofabi
tch!
”
Lindotri
esstoppingmeaf t
erIgrabmycarkeysbutI
yankmy sel
f.He’sgoingtogeti
t.Whot hehel
ldoes
het hi
nkheissniffi
ngint
omybusi ness?
Cai
n:“
Lookman,
I–
Ibacksl
aphi
m sobadt
hathest
umbl
esback.
Me:
“Don’
tyoudar
e!”
I’
mf uming.IbumpintoPoppyonmyexi tanddon’
t
evenbot herapol
ogi
z i
ng.Ineedtoputthi
smanon
hisplaceonceandf oral
l.Aftert
his,
he’
lll
ear
nto
mindhi sownbusinessandl eavemine.
.
NARRATED

Poppy
:“Whatj
usthappened?
”
Khany
i:“
You’
reback.Comegi
vedaddyaki
ss”
Sheturnstohim wi
thherhandsonherhi
ps,st
il
l
ast
onished.She’
sneverseenMpholi
kethatwhichi
s
wheretheshockstemsfrom.
Poppy:“
What
’sgoi
ngon?Whyar
eyouher
eand
what’
supwit
hthebags?
”
Li
ndo:
“We’
rej
ustgoi
ngt
olett
hem l
eav
e?”
Cai
n:“
Youknowther
e’snost
oppingTri
xy.He
want
edtoknowandmay bet
hat
’sgoingtogi
vehi
m
acl
ue.”
Khany
i:“
So,
I’
m notget
ti
ngaki
ss?
”
Poppy
:“Who’
sTr
ixy
?Whatar
etheyt
alki
ngabout
?”
Khanyiwal
kscl
osertoherandcupsherface,
pl
anti
ngakissonthewoman’sforehead.
Khany
i:“
Howwasy
ourday
?”
Poppy
:“Fi
ne.Wi
l
lsomeonet
ell
mewhatt
hehel
li
s
goi
ngon?”
Cain:“Nope.Youshoul
dal
sol
ear
ntomi
ndy
our
business”
Poppy
:“Fucky
ou”
Cai
n:“
Lit
tl
egi
rl
,I
’dmakey
oul
i
mp.Keept
alki
ng”
Herf
acecr
ingesi
ndi
sgustatt
het
hought
.
Poppy
:“Youf
uckenwish.I
’
m notl
ookingt
ocat
ch
someSTDwiththewayyoumove,eeuw”
Cai
n:“
Mm,
keept
alki
ng”
Khanyi
:“Let
’sl
eav
ethesei
diot
sandgot
oyourr
oom
forsomethi
ng”
Lindo:“Weallknowwhatthati
s.You’
realawyerso
you’l
lprobabl
yeasil
ygetr
idofthosestat
utor
yrape
charges”
Cai
n:“
Shedoesseem l
i
keshecant
aket
hatpi
pe”
Poppy
:“I
’
m quar
tert
osnappi
ngy
ournecky
oubi
tch!
”
They oungerwomanthenstormsofftoherroom,
l
eav i
ngt hetwoguysl
aughi
ng.Khanyishakeshi
s
headt henfoll
owsher
.He’l
ldeal
withCainlat
erbut
fornow, hewantstomakesureshe’
sOK.
.
TRI
XY
I’
m amesswhenIgetathi sli
ttl
ehouse.Thecl othes
I’
m weari
ngar euncomfor
tabl
eonmebutIhadno
ti
met ochange.I’
vebeenwait
ingf ort
hedayI ’
l
l
i
ntroducemy sel
ftoSukoandsuchapi tyit
’l
lbe
undersuchconditi
ons.Myhandisi t
ching,
myar se
evenmor e.If
eelali
tt
leagi
tat
edt oo.
He’
sherebecausehi
sdoori sopened.Idon’
tbother
wit
htheknocki
ngbutjustbargei
n.Ifindhi
ml ay
ing
onhisbedwit
hsomegi rlontopofhim.
Thissonofabi t
chreal
lydoesn’
twast
etime.Igrab
thegir
l’
sbrai
dsandt hr
owhersomewher einthe
room.He’sfucki
ngkidsnow?Notsurpri
sed.There’
s
nolimitwhenitcomestohim.Ihadn’
texpect
edhi m
tosnoopbutwhatdi dhedo?
Ij
usthav
et oacceptt
hathe’
l
lkeepsur
pri
singus.He
st
andsup,shocked.
Suko:
“Whatt
hehel
lGr
ay?What
’sgot
teni
ntoy
ou?
”
Me:
“Don’
tfuckencal
lmet
hat
”
Isl
aphim hardt
oowhi chhashimfal
li
ngbackont
he
bed,bounci
ngali
tt
le.Igetontopofhi
m.
Me:
“Whosai
dyoushoul
dsnoop?
”
I’
m gr
indingonhi
m al
it
tl
e,somet hi
ngIcan’
thel
p
eventhoughwehaveanaudience.
Suko:
“What
?”
Me:
“Youknowexact
lywhatI
’
mtal
ki
ngabout
”
Suko:“What
’swrongwithyou?Fi
rst
ly,youbargein
hereandthr
owt hepoorgi
rli
ntot
het able.Sher
an
outcryi
ngandthenthecursi
ngandlastly,whyy
ou
gri
ndingonmelikethi
s?”
Me:“Somanyquest
ions.Why
’sy
ournosei
nour
busi
ness?
”
Hesi
ghs.
Suko:
“So,
theyt
oldy
ou?
”
Me:“Ofcour
set
heydi
d.They
’reourf
ri
ends,
not
your
s”
Suko:
“Our
?Youandwho?
”
Me:
“MphoandIobv
iousl
y”
Hi
sfacescr
unchesi
nconf
usi
on.
Suko:
“Buty
ou’
reMphoorhehasat
win?
”
Thati
tchi
nghand?I
tsl
apshi
m andhescr
eamsl
i
ke
ali
tt
lebit
ch.
Suko:
“Getof
fmewi
thy
ourv
iol
ence”
Me:“Answert
hedamnquest
ion.Whywer
eyou
snoopi
ng?”
Suko:“
BecauseIcareabouty
ou.I
twon’
ttaker
ocket
sci
encetofi
gurethatout
”
Me:“Theyal
way ssaythat
.Itstart
sli
kethatunt
ilI
comeoutthensuddenlythey’
redisgust
ed.Thenthey
pret
endwhil
er i
dicul
i
ngus,forcingustobemore
maleandcagingusin.”
Suko:
“Who?
”
Me:
“You’
resodumb”
Ileandownandkisshim.Mpho’salwayst oocoward
whenitcomest omakingamov e.I’
mf i
erce,I
’
d
neveractl
i
keIdon’twantsomet hi
ngwhenIdo.He’ s
theonewhol i
keskeepingsecr
etsthensuppresses
mesoIdon’ tsayaword.
Hebr
eakst
heki
ss.
Suko:
“Thedoor
”
Iunbut
tonmyshir
tasIgocl
osethedoor
.He’
s
si
tti
ngdown,
looki
ngatmeint
ensel
yandinscr
uti
ny.
Me:
“Yougotl
ube?
”
Suko:
“Nothappeni
ng”
Me:
“ButIwantt
ofeel
youi
nsi
de”
Hi
sey
esbudgeout
.
Suko:
“Buty
oual
way
ssayI
’
llnev
er-
Me:
“Coul
dnev
erbeme.
”
Itakeof ft
heshoesthenpants.WhenI’m nude,If
eel
l
iberated.Ihat
ewearinghiscl
othes.Theymakeme
feelunli
kemeandt hediscomforti
snauseating.
Suko:
“Whoar
eyou?
”
Ismi
l
e.
Me:
“Tooky
oul
ongenough.I
’
m Tr
ixy
”
Hemout
hsawowwhi
chmakesmehal
tandf
oldmy
ar
ms.
Me:
“Youhav
eapr
obl
em wi
tht
hat
?”
Suko:“
What?Ofcoursenot.I
t’
sgoodt omeetyou
Tri
xybuti
t’
sjustnorwhatIexpect
ed.From t
hevoi
ce
toj
ust…nevermind”
Me:
“Whatt
hef
uckar
eyout
ryi
ngt
osay
?!”
Suko:
“I’
m shocked!
”
Heshr
ugs.
Me:“
Thenlett
heshi
tsubsidebecausehe’
str
yingt
o
comebackandIwon’
tall
owi tunt
ily
oufuckme”
Suko:
“Fi
ne,
geez”
Her
ubshi
sfacet
henst
ands.
Suko:
“Zi
thai
sgoi
ngt
oki
l
lme.
”
Me:
“Idon’
tcar
e”
Suko:
“Notasur
pri
se.Mphodoesn’
tei
ther
”
Me:
“You…y
ou’
renotf
reaki
ngout
”
Suko:
“No,
justconf
used”
Me:
“He’
saf
ool
”
Suko:
“Thathei
s.”
Me:
“Now,
wher
e’st
hel
ube?
”
Icat
walkt
ohimt henpl
antmysel
fonhisl
ap.My
handrunt
hroughhist
onestor
so,l
ovi
ngthefeel
ofi
t
onmyhand.
Me:
“Sost
rong,
huh”
Suko:
“Mm”
Ikisshi
sjaw,
wat
chi
nghi
mtakeadeepbr
eat
hin
thenout.
Me:
“Youwantt
his?
”
I
’
m sl
owi
ngdr
yhumpi
nghi
minmynudi
ty.
Suko:
“YouknowI
’
m at
tract
edt
oyou”
Me:
“Good”
Iki
sshi
sli
pswi
thmyey
escl
osed.Thi
sfeel
sgood.

*
***
**
Unedi
ted.Excuseanyer
ror
s.I
'
mreal
l
yti
redguy
s.Do
commentandshar e.
THI
RTY-
TWO

SUKOLUHLE

I’
vebeenawakef oraboutanhournow, pl aying
scenariosofhowMpho/ Tri
xyisgoi ngt or eactwhen
theywakeup.Mybet ’sonMphot hough.He’ s
probablygoi ngt obeasdi smissiveasheusual lyis
ofmet henspeakofhowi twasami stakeand
shouldn’ thav ehappened.He’ snev ersai dt hataf ter
wehav esexormadel ovebutIhav eaf eel i
ngt hings
aregoingt obedi ff
erentnow.Ismi leatt het hought
ofhimf eel i
ngwhatIusual l
yfeelafterhet ear sme
apart.ThewayIkeptsqueezi ngandspanki nghis
butt,
itwasbr uisedandobv i
ouslystill
is.Hi swhol e
bodyi spr obabl yaching,muchl i
kemi ne.Mydi cki s
alsopai nf ul.Itdidgoi ntoalotofwor kpl usTr ixybit
i
t.Shedi dt hatonpur pose.Yesterdayf eltl i
keIwas
beingint roducedt oallofhi
m, whichIl ov edbecause
nowIknowhi m mor e.Iaspiretoknoweachand
everypar tofhi m.Hesqui rmsal i
ttl
ebef or eopeni ng
hi
seyes,
taki
nginthesur
roundings.Whenhi
sey
es
st
oponme, heseemsconfused.
Mpho:
“Whathappened?
”
Me:
“Goodmor
ning”
Iint
ernall
ylaughwhenhetr
iessi
tt
ingupbutfai
l
s
dismall
y.Hisvoicei
sscr
eechedandshame,Ial
most
feelsorr
yforhim.
Mpho:
“Yousonofagun”
Il
augh.
Me:
“Whatdi
dIdo?
”
Mpho:“
I’
minpain,
mywhol ebodyis.Ineed…di
dI
comewithmyphone?Ineedtobookasessionwit
h
Sue”
Me:
“Sue?Who’
sSue?
”
Mpho:
“Mymasseuse.Sheneedst
ofi
xthi
s”
Me:
“Wow.Younev
ersuggest
edt
hatwheni
twas
me”
Mpho:“BecauseIknowyouwer
egoi
ngtoget
of
fended.You’v
eneverl
i
kedmespendi
ngonyou”
Me:
“So,
you’
renotmad?
”
Hef
urr
owshi
sbr
ow.
Mpho:
“Madaboutwhat
?”
Me:
“IknowaboutTr
ixy
”
Hecl
oseshi
sey
est
hensi
ghsdeepl
y.
Mpho:“If
igur
edit
’swhymywhol
ebehi
ndi
sonf
ir
e.
Let
’snott
alkabouti
t”
Me:“Idon’
thav
eapr
obl
em wi
thi
t.I
nfact
,I’
m gl
adI
know”
Mpho:
“Thi
sdoesn’
tchangeany
thi
ng”
Me:“Idon’
thaveanyexpectat
ions.Seethatwoman
Tr
ixythrewout
?Ihavetofixthingswit
hher ”
Mpho:
“I’
m sor
ryaboutt
hat
”
Me:
“Wat
erundert
hebr
idge”
Mpho:
“Youknowy
out
ookadv
ant
age,
right
?”
Il
augh.
Me:
“Me?Tr
ixyt
hrewher
sel
fatme.
”
Mpho:
“Nah,
that
’sj
ustanexcuse”
Me:
“Ar
eyouki
ddi
ngme?
”
Mpho:“NowIhav
etoberel
i
antony
oubecausey
ou
deci
dedtodi
sabl
eme.”
Il
aughagain.He’ssti
l
llay
ingononespot,byhi
s
si
dewhilefaci
ngme.Hehashi seyesclosedashe
speaks,
hiscroakyvoi
cemakinghim soundmore
sexy.
Me:“
That’
sat ast
eofyourownmedi
cine.Pl
usTr
ixy
i
sdefi
nit
elyontheCar
diBlevel
”
Mpho:“
Nooneelseshoul
dknowabouti
t,notPoppy
ort
hatZi
thaofy
ours”
Me:
“I’
m notasni
tch”
Mpho:
“Inev
erasked.
”
Me:“Outofcuri
osit
ythough,howlongarey ou
pl
anningtohi
de?Poppyl i
vesinyourhouseandI
havenoideahowTr i
xyoperatesbutwhatifshe…
comeswhent herearet
here?Whatt hen?
”
Mpho:“
I’
ll
crossthatbri
dgewhenIgett
her
e,j
ustl
i
ke
wedidwit
hyou.Fuck,Ineedabat
h”
Me:
“Shoul
dIpr
epar
eyouone?
”
Mpho:“Pleaseandal
sobor
rowmey
ourcl
othesi
f
youdon’tmind”
Me:
“Idon’
t”
Mpho:“I
smycarsti
ll
out si
de?Ican’
ttrustt
he
secur
it
yint
hispl
acesinceyoudon’thaveany”
Il
augh.
Me:“
Idon’
tknowbutI
’l
lcheck.Youhav
eat
racker
andi
nsur
ancemoss”
Mpho:“Thatdoesn’
tmeanIwantt
ohav
etot
api
nto
i
t.Ist
il
lhavetobookanot
herf
li
ght
”
Me:“
Youdoknowthatt
hischangesthi
ngs,ri
ght?No
matt
erhowmuchyousaynothi
ng’schanged,i
thas
andyouknowi
t.
”
Mpho:“
Ithoughtmybathi
ngwaterwoul
dber eady
bynow.Ineedtosummonstrengt
htoactual
l
ybath
i
nthatl
it
tl
econtai
nerofyour
s”
Me:“
Argh,
itst
il
lget
smecl
eanei
therway
.Thi
sis
j
ustt
emporary
”
Mpho:“
Iknow.You’
vereal
l
ycomefarfrom t
hatman
wi
thlowsel
f-
esteem whot
houghtt
hingswould
nev
erwor
koutf
orhi
m.I
’
m pr
oudofy
ou”
Ir
oll
myey
es.
Me:
“Thanksdaddy
”
Hechuckl
es.
Mpho:
“You’
rest
il
lher
e?”
Me:
“Say
stheguywhohashi
sey
escl
osed”
Heopenst hem andIl
augh.Getti
ngup,Icheck
outsi
deandf i
ndhiscarst
ill
theretheni
nfor
m him.I
thenfi
ll
thekettl
eandswitchitonforhi
sbathwater
.
IwanttocallZi
thabutIalsodon’ twanttor ui
nthi
s
moment .Ij
usthopeshe’sfinewher eshei sandthat
we’
llbeabletoconti
nuewher ewel eftof
f.Ican’
trel
y
onMphobecausef ornow, he’sjustusingmeand
mostli
kelydoesnotseeaf uturewi thme.
.
POPPY

Hedidn’
tcomehomelastni
ghtanddidn’
tjoi
nusfor
br
eakfast
.Khany
iandt
heothersl
eftaft
ersupper
becausetheywoul
dn’tj
ustleavewit
hempty
stomachs.It
’st
hei
rwords,notmine.Any
way,they
toldmenottoworrybutIcouldn’
tcompl
etel
ynot.
Me:
“Younev
ert
oldmeaboutt
hepar
ty”
We’
rechi
l
li
ngbythepool
,wat
chi
ngGi
gimake
model
swithpl
ayi
ngcl
ay.
Rumi:“
Itwasgood,
real
l
ygood.Ev
ery
thi
ngwent
wel
l.
”
Me:
“AndSandy
?”
Rumi
:“Whatabouther
?”
Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“Ah,
didy
oumakeamov
e?”
Shehuf
fs.
Rumi
:“I
’
m nolongerint
erest
ed.Thepar
tyshowed
mewhoshereall
yis.If
oundRuben”
Il
augh.
Me:
“HehRumi
ori
t’
sbecauseshe’
sal
soRu?
”
Shel
aughs.
Rumi:“
Shegetsme,t
hat
’swhy.Pluswe’vebeen
tal
ki
ngandsheseemsli
keareallycool
chick.I
’
m
taki
ngheroutt
omorr
owtooffi
ciall
yaskhertobe
mine”
Me:
“Butnosexunt
ily
ou’
resi
xteen”
Rumi:“Butwe’
regi
rl
s.What
’st
hewor
stt
hatcan
happen?”
Me:“
HIV/Ai
ds,notf
orget
ti
ngSTI
s.That
’swor
se
t
hanfal
l
ingpr
egnant
”
Rumi
:“We’
l
lkeepi
tsaf
e”
Me:
“NosexRumi
,Imeani
t.
”
Rumi:“
YouknowIknowwheny
oust
art
ed,
right
?
Gigi
isproofofi
t”
Me:
“Youwantmet
owhoopy
oul
rar
se?
”
Rumi
:“Nosi
s.I
’
m sor
ry”
Shecanswi
tcht
hatqui
ckl
ytobei
ngaf
rai
dofme.
Me:“It
’sOKandI’
m gladyou’
renotstraightbecause
Ionl
yneedtoteachyoutheimportanceofusi ng
condomsandabstai
ning.Covert
hatdildowi t
ha
condom i
fyoudeci
det
odi
sobeyme”
Shelaughsandst andsup,
probabl
ybecauseshe
knowsI’m notdoney et
.
Rumi:
“Sayi
ngsucht
hingsi
nfr
ontofachi
l
d,hav
e
younoshame?”
Me:
“What
ever
.Br
ingmyphonesoIcancal
lSuko.
May
beheknowswher
eMphois”
Hedoesn’
ttakel
ongt
oanswerwhenIcal
l
.
Suko:
“Hey
”
Me:
“Hi
.IsMphowi
thy
ou?
”
Suko:
“Was.Hewentt
othespa”
Me:
“So,
hespentt
heni
ghtwi
thy
ou?
”
Suko:
“Yest
henl
eftaf
terbr
eakf
ast
”
Me:“Oh,soyoufuckedal
lni
ght
?Icanhearbyy
our
scr
atchyvoi
ce”
Hechuckl
es.
Suko:
“Idon’
tgossi
p”
Me:
“Butwehav
en’
ttal
kedi
nawhi
l
e.Ineedy
out
o
updat
emeonwhatI
’
vemi
ssed.
”
Suko:
“Nothi
ngmuchexceptt
hatI
’
m ki
ndofseei
ng
someone”
Me:
“So,
youguy
sar
enowof
fi
cial
?”
I
’
m beami
ngatt
his.
Suko:“Hername’
sZi
tha.You’
l
lmeetwhent
het
ime’
s
ri
ght.
”
If
rown.
Me:“Whyareyouleadi
ngthepoorgi
rlon?Webot h
knowyourhear
tiswithMphoandafterlastnight
,
you’
rest
il
lcont
inui
ngwhatevery
ouhav ewi t
hher?”
Suko:“Ican’
tcontinuebeinghi
s‘someti
mes’
.It
honestl
yfeel
sl i
kehe’ susi
ngmer i
ghtnowandI
won’tsett
leforthat.Ican’
t.
”
Me:
“Thenwhydi
dyousl
eepwi
thhi
m?”
Suko:“
Ev enhesaidi
twasj ustsex.Idon’twant
i
nconsistencyi
nmyl i
febro.Ican’tbewithsomeone
whowant smeonemi nut
et henisdismissi
ngmet he
next
.I’
llnotwai
tforhi
mt omakeuphi smi nd.I
’
ve
donethatwaytoomanyt imesi nmyl i
feandIrefuse
t
oputmy
sel
fthr
ought
hatagai
n.”
Isi
gh.
Me: “
That’
suhm…good.I t
’sgoodthaty
ouchoosing
you.I
’m sadbecauseIwasrooti
ngforyouguy
s.”
Suko:
“Yeahwel
l
,itf
ail
ed.May
bei
nanot
herl
i
fet
ime”
Me:
“Al
ri
ght
.How’
sthest
orecomi
ngup?
”
Suko:“
Good.Wemi
ghtl
aunchbef
oret
heendoft
his
year
”
Me:“Amazi
ng.I
’
vesai
dthi
sbef
orebut
,I’
m pr
oudof
you”
Suko:
“I’
m pr
oudofmet
oo”
.
SUKOLUHLE

I
t’sanhourafterbei
ngonthephonewit
hPoppy .
Zit
hahasagreedt ocomewithmeandI’m hopi
ng
thi
ngsaren’
truinedbey
ondrepai
rbet
weenus.
Zi
tha:
“Hi
”
She’
st oosweet,gr
eetingmel i
key ester
daydi
dn’t
happen.IfeelbadbecauseIdidn’tevenrunaft
erher
orcheckifshe’sOK.Cany oublamet hou!Iwas
shocked.I
twasmyf i
rstencounterwithTri
xy.
Me:“Hey
.I’
m…sorry
.Yest
erday
,itwasashockt
o
me.Isor
toffr
ozeand–”
Zi
tha:“I
t’
sfi
ne.Who’
she?Doy ouguyshavehi
stor
y?
Becauseheseemedli
kethosecrazyexes”
Ichuckl
e.
Me:“
Somethi
ngli
kethat
.I’
m sorr
yyouhadtoseeit
t
hough.I
’
veputhi
m onhisplacesoyoudon’
thave
t
oeverworr
yabouthi
m”
Zi
tha:
“So,
itmakesy
oubi
sexual
?”
Me:
“I’
m mor
eli
kepansexual
”
Zit
ha:“Right
.You’r
enotacheat er
,ri
ght
?Imean
you’
llbehonestwithmei fyoumeetsomeoneelse
oryou’r
enol ongeri
nter
estedinme.Idon’
twantto
beledonort akenforapoes”
Me:
“Ipr
omi
seIwi
l
l”
Iki
ssherf
orehead.
Zi
tha:
“Thanky
ou.Ar
eyounotwor
king?
”
Me:“
I’
m of
ffortwomoreday
s.Ineedt
hebr
eak.
How’
sexam prepcomi
ngup?”
Zit
ha:“
Sof arsogood.Si
nceyou’
reoff
,Ibroughtmy
booksalong.Rememberyourtut
ori
ngoffer
s?I’m
cashi
ngin”
Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“Your
eal
l
ywantt
omakemewor
k?”
Zi
tha:
“Nope.Ij
ustwantt
opass,
stopbei
ngl
azy
”
Me:
“Yehwena!
”
Shel
aughs.
THI
RTY-
THREE

POPPY

Timedoesn’ tj
ustmov e,itfl
ies.We’renowont he
l
astmont hoft heyearwhi chmeansmybi rt
hdayis
approaching.Ther
e’sabsol utel
ynowayi tcancome
withoutmet hrowi
ngmy selfapar t
y.Ithastohappen.
Besides,Ialwaysl
ookf orwar dtoreceivi
nggift
s
fr
om myf r
iendsandbeingspoi l
ed.
Thingsbet weenKhany iandIar est il
lgood.Ther e
arenol abels,j
ustusgoi ngwitht heflow.Onet hi
ngI
canadmi tthoughi sthatIdohav efeelingsforhim.
It
’swei r
dformebecauseIdon’ tusual lycatch
feel
ings.I’
dv owedt opr otectmyhear tatal lcost
s
butlookatmenow.Idon’ tknowhowhe’ smanaged
togopassedt hepalisadesguar dingitbutI ’
m
warmi ngupt ohim whi chisscar yf orme.Ipr omised
ZuriI’
dnev erfal
linlov e.Shetoldmei tbreeds
weaknessandf all
ingf oramanwoul dbet he
beginningofmydemi se.Ibeli
ev eherandI ’mt r
ying
byal
lmeansnott
ofal
li
ntoodeep.Icannotbet
ray
mysist
er.
Khanyi
:“I
’
v ebeensear
chingfordaycar
es.Doyou
haveanyrecommendations?How’stheonethatGi
gi
goesto?”
Me:
“Isn’
titt
ool
atef
orappl
i
cat
ions?
”
Khany
i:“
It
’swhyIhav
emoney
”
Heshr
ugs.
We’reathishouse.It
’smylastweekworki
ng
becausethekidsaregoingtoJobur
g,t
ohissist
er.
Hesay she’l
lj
ointhem onChri
stmaseve.
Me:
“Luckyy
ou.It
houghty
ou’
dwantonet
hatcost
s
mor
e”
Khany
i:“
Iwantt
hem andGi
gii
noneday
car
e.How
ol
dishe?”
Me:
“He’
sthr
ee”
Khany
i:“
So,
youhadhi
m at
-
Me:
“Don’
t.
”
Khany
i:“
Wher
e’shi
sfat
her
?”
Me:“Ar
en’twej
ustf
ucki
ng?Causey
ouget
ti
ng
per
sonalnowandIdon’
tli
kei
t.
”
Khanyi
:“Whoknowswher
ethi
swi
l
lend?Iasked
abouthi
sfat
her”
Isi
gh.
Me:“Imean,
Idon’
tknow.I
’m notsur
ewhoi
syet
.I
nev
erbother
edtof
indout”
Khanyi
:“So,
y ou’
recool
?Aper
sonwi
thy
ourski
l
ls
wouldhavelongfoundout
”
Il
ookathi
m wi
thmyey
essqui
nted.
Me:
“Aper
sonwi
thmyski
l
ls?Am Iadoct
or?
”
Khany
i:“
NobutIt
hinky
oucaneasi
l
ygetaDNA
sampl
e.”
Me: “
Andhowdidyoureachthatt
hought?Idon’t
evengetwhywe’r
ehavingt
hisconversat
ion.I
’mf i
ne
beingGi
gi’
ssol
eparent
.Hedoesn’tneedhisfather
yetbutwheni
thappensheneedshimi nthefut
ure,
I’
l
lmakesureIfi
ndhim.”
Khanyi
:“Doyouknowhowself
isht
hatsounds?
You’
rekeepi
ngamanawayf r
om hi
schil
d.Thatman
hasal
readymi
ssedt
hreey
ear
sofhi
sson’
sli
fe.
”
Me:“Don’
tyoudarejudgemeKhany i
l
e!Youhav eno
i
deawhot hefuckIam andwhyIdothet hi
ngsIdo.
Thatmandoesn’tevenknowGigiexi
sts.Howwillhe
behurtbywhathedoesn’tknow?
”
Khanyi
:“Sothat’
swhyy
ou’
renotonsoci
almedi
a?
You’
reaf ugi
ti
ve?”
Isni
cker
.
Me: “That’
sridi
culous.Howam Iaf ugi
ti
veandwhat
thehelldoessoci almediahavetodowi t
ht hi
s?Not
allofusareinterestedinthatbul
l
.It
’sdepressi
ng
andpr essuri
ng.Iknowpeopl ewho’vecommi tt
ed
suici
debecauseofi t.Youcanmissmewi ththat.
”
Khany i:“
You’dratherwai tforhimt oaskabouthis
father?Whataboutt heresentmenthemi ghthave
fory ouforhavingkepthi sfatherawayf r
om him?
Thesai dfathermi ghttakey outocourtandt ake
yoursonawayf r
om y ouforever.Thenwhat ?Youdo
knowy ou’
reput t
ingy ourrelat
ionshipwi
thy ourson
atrisk,ri
ght?”
Me:
“OK,
stop!Geez
.Idon’
tknowwhyIev
ent
oldy
ou
i
fyou’
regoi
ngtomakesuchabi
gdeal
outofi
t.I
’
m
gone,
can’
ttaket
his”
Khany
i:“
You’
renotgoinganywhere.I
’l
ll
eaveyou
al
onetocoolof
fbutthinkabouti
t.I
fyouloveGi
gi
anddon’
twanttol
osehi m,youwil
l.
”
Heki ssesmycheekt henwalksout.Isi
tdownthen
sigh.Ihatethathe’
srightbutam Ir
eadytorev
isi
t
mypast ?DoIhaveto?I’mremindedofmyfeeli
ngs
forhimt henfi
ndmy selfcont
emplati
ngit
.Damn.
.
SUKOLUHLE

ZithaandIar eoffici
all
ydatingnowandshe’ ssuch
anamazi ngper son.Itfeel
sr ef
reshi
ngbeingina
rel
ationshi
pt hatisn’
tstressingmeormaki ngme
questionmywor th.I
’m notunderanypressurenor
doIf eelI
’m notenough.Yes, i
t’
searl
ydaysbutthi
s
feelsgenuine.
I’
vetakenheroutt
oapubnjesowecandrinkand
alsososhecantakehermi
ndoffherr
esul
tswhich
areonlycomingoutinJanuary
.Idon’
tgetwhyshe’ s
str
essingbecauseshetol
dmeshewr otewell
.
Howev er
,Idogetwhereitcomesfrom especi
all
y
becauseitt
ookhermor ethantwel
vey ear
stofini
sh
school.
Me:
“So,
whatar
eyoudr
inki
ng?
”
Zitha:
“I’
l
lhavehunt
ersdr
y.Iwon’
tdr
inkt
oomuch
though.I’
m not21y
et.
”
Me:
“Buty
ou’
repastei
ght
eenmoss”
Shel
aughs.
Zi
tha:“
YesbutyouknowAf ri
canfamili
esandthe
wholet
wentyfi
rstkeyt
hing.Ihaven’
tgott
enityet
whichmeansI’
m notcompletel
yfree”
Me:“So,wecan’
tbookar
oom att
hel
odgef
ora
weekend?”
Zi
tha:
“Wecan.I
’
m donewr
it
ingsoI
’
llt
alkt
omy
mom.”
Ismi
l
e.
Me:
“Awesome”
Zi
tha:
“She’
l
lwantt
otal
ktoy
out
hough”
Ichokeonmydr
inkandshel
aughs.
Me:
“What
?”
Shenodewi
thagi
ggl
e.
Zit
ha:“
I’
m notgoi
ngtol
i
eSuko.Besi
des,
sheknows
you’
remyboyfri
end”
Me:
“Uhm,
wow.
”
Zi
tha:
“Iknow,
right
?Butr
elax.She’
sact
ual
l
ycool
.”
Me:
“I’
m notscar
ed.I
’
mjust
…Iwasn’
texpect
ing
t
hat
.”
Zi
tha:
“Icansee.
”
Shesqueezesmyhand.
Zi
tha:“She’
snotgoingt
opressur
izey
oui
nto
marry
ingme, don’
tworr
y”
Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“Oh,
isi
t?”
Zi
tha:
“Yes”
Me:
“ThenI
’
m chi
l
led.Letmegogetourdr
inkst
hen”
Wehav eanice,chil
l
edti
me.Ienj
oytalki
ngwit
hher
buteveni
fwewer equi
et,
it’
dbecomfort
abl
e
becauseherpresencei
swelcoming.
Zi
tha:
“Kanawhen’
sthel
aunch?
”
Me: “
It
’sont he2ndofFebruar
y.I t
’sfest
ivenowand
peopleareusuallybrokei
nJanuar y.Howev er
,I’
m
sti
ll
buil
dingcl i
entel
eandI’
vealreadyinfor
medt hem
aboutit
.I’l
lalsobedoingi
nter
viewssoonf or
assi
stants.”
Zi
tha:“
OH,great
.Il
ookfor
war
dtoi
t.You’
remy
i
nspir
ati
on,
youknowthat?
”
Me:
“Iam?
”
I
’
mtakenabackbyt
his.Ani
nspi
rat
ion,
me?
Zi
tha:“Yes.Yourhust l
ingisonanotherl
evelhl
eand
wheny out ol
dmewher eyoucomef rom,it
motiv
at edme.Iadmi r
ehowy ou’
repushing.Openi
ng
abusinessi sariskbutyou’v
etakenitandare
posi
ti
v elydri
ven.Icouldgoonbuty ou’
reamazing.I
mightwr it
eanar ti
cleaboutyouonceIgetmy
j
ournalism degree”
Me:“Oh,
youbet
ter
.Thanky
ousomuchbabe.I
t
meansalott
ome”
Zi
tha:
“Ar
gh,
I’
mjustbei
nghonest
”
Me:
“Yesbutst
il
l,
thanky
ou.
”
Zi
tha:
“You’
rewel
come”
.
POPPY

Honest ly,f
uckKhany iformaki ngmeov ert
hinkunt ilI
haveaheadache.I ’
vet akenacabt oTsebo.Ineedt o
thi
nkaboutsomet hingot herthanourconv ersation.I
don’twantt ofindmy selfreminiscing.Ican’t.Thisi s
exactlywhyoneshoul dn’tcatchf eeli
ngs.When
someonespeakssomesenset oy ou,youwon’ ttake
i
tintocogni zanceifyou’renotf eelingthem.I t’
s
funnyhowwebot hspeakofi tj ustbeingsexandy et
heseemst ocaremor ethant hat.Iknowi t’
snott hat
tomebecausehemakesmor el ovethanhef ucks
andt hat’si
fI’
m noti maginingthi ngs.I
tseemsr eal
oratl eastIhopeitis.Ican’tl
ov ehi mt hough.May be
i
t’
ssomefor
m oftwist
edlustwi
thi
nfat
uat
ion
maskedasl
ove.I
tdoesn’
tmakesensetomeaswel
l
.
If
indhi
m dr
inki
ngSav
annahdr
y,outofal
lthi
ngs.
Me:
“Wher
e’st
hewi
ne?
”
Tsebo:
“Yoh,
myboyfr
iendi
scomi
ngt
ofet
chme.
Youknowthi
sisVi
agr
a”
Il
augh.
Me:
“YouLi
lhoe”
Tsebo:“
Ah, t
hebaddest
.How’
rey
out
hough?You
seem st
ressed”
Isi
gh.
Me:
“I’
mfine.Ij
ustneedadrinkbecauseI
’
mfal
l
ing
f
ort
hisguyandIcan’thandl
eit”
Hel
aughs.
Tsebo:“Sawt
hatcoming.Ther
e’snowayy ouwon’
t
fal
lforaguywhogiv
esgoodpi pe.I
t’
sjustt
hat
sweety”
Hehandsmeadumpyt
hencont
inuespl
ati
nghi
s
cl
i
ent’
shai
r.
Me:
“Ishoul
dhav
erant
hef
ir
stt
ime”
Tsebo:“
Youdi
dn’
tsoj
ustembr
acei
tandkeepi
t
mov i
ng”
Hemakesi
tsoundsoeasy
.
I
’m notwit
hhimfort
ool
ong.Whenhi
smancomes,
heagreestodr
opmeoffatMpho’
spl
ace.
Gigir
unstome.Justseeinghimtakesmebackt o
theconver
sati
onandit
’sliket
healcohol
didn’
thel
p.I
didn’
tdr
inkthatmuchei
therway,j
ustthr
eedumpies.
Gi
gi:
“Mi
ssedy
ou”
Me:
“Met
oobaby
”
Ihughi
m,ki
ssi
nghi
sfor
ehead.
Rumi
:“Si
s,Iwanty
out
omeether
”
Me:
“Hel
l
otoy
out
oo”
Rumi:“Hi
.IspoketoMphotooandheagreed.I
knowIshouldhavespokent
oyoufi
rstbuthewas
hereandyouweren’t
”
Me:“That
’sf
ine.We’
l
ldodi
nnert
henI
’
llal
soi
nvi
te
Khanyi
”
Shesmi
l
es.
Rumi
:“SoundsgoodandSuko”
Me:
“Andhi
mifhedoesn’
thav
eanypl
ans”
Rumi
:“Gr
eat
.Thanky
ousi
s”
Wehug.I
’
ddoany
thi
ngt
omaket
hem happy
.

*
***
***
Bett
erl
atethannev
er.I
t'
sunedi
tedandshor
t,I
'
m
real
l
yti
red.
THI
RTY-
FOUR

SUKOLUHLE

Ireceivedacall f
rom Poppywho’sinvi
tedmet o
di
nner .ApparentlyRumi want
stointr
oducethem t
o
someonesoI ’veaskedZi t
hatogowithme.It’
sthe
perfectoccasionf orhert
omeetmybestf ri
end,
al
ongwi t
hherf ami l
y.
So,
we’
reonat
axi
ther
enow.
Me:“You’
renotner
vous,
right
?Becauset
hey
’recool
peopl
e.”
Zi
tha:“
I’
m not
.Ift
heydon’
tli
keme,
sti
l
lcool
.Not
ev
eryonewil
l.
”
Me:
“Ohbaby
,that
’sgood.ButIknowt
heywi
l
l”
Zi
tha:“
Butyousai
dthatguywil
lbet
her
e.Ihopehe
won’tt
hrowmeoffthechai
ragai
n”
Il
augh.
Me:
“Hewon’
t.Theyl
i
vewi
thhi
m sohe’
sboundt
o
bet
her
e”
Zi
tha:
“Mm buty
oubet
terpr
otectmej
usti
ncase.
”
Me:
“Iwi
l
lbaby
,don’
twor
ry”
Isqueezeherhandf
orr
eassur
ance.
Honest
ly,Idon’
tknowwhatwemi ghtf
indt
here.I
’m
hopi
ngforMphoandnotTr i
xybecausehe’
sthe
cal
m one.Mphodoesn’tl
i
kedramaandwoul dn’
tact
upinfr
ontofpeople.
Thecabdropsusr
ightatt
hel
ocat
ionandIhear
Zi
thagasp.
Zi
tha:
“Thi
siswher
ehest
ays?
”
Me:
“Yep”
Zi
tha:
“It
’sbeaut
if
ul.
”
Me:
“Iti
s.”
Igrabherhandandwewal kf urt
herin.Thedooris
al
readyopensowel etourselvesin.Ever
yoneis
si
tti
nginthedini
nghall
.ZithaandIgr eetfi
rstt
henI
pul
l achai
rforhert
hensitnexttoher .
Poppy
:“Di
dn’
tknowy
ou’
rebr
ingi
ngcompany
”
Me:“Fi
guredImightaswel
lbr
ingheral
ong.I
t’
sthe
per
fectoppor
tuni
tyfory
outogett
oknowher.”
Shesmi
l
es.
Poppy
:“So,
thi
sisher
?”
Me:
“Iti
s.Ev
ery
one,
meetZi
tha.She’
smygi
rl
fr
iend”
Ther
e’ssi
l
enceforawhi
l
e,ev
ery
onel
ooki
ngather
.
Mphocoughs.
Mpho:
“HeyZi
tha”
Shej
ustwav
esathi
m wi
thasmi
l
e.
Khanyi
:“Ar
en’
tyouwit
hmybr
otherher
eoram I
missi
ngsomethi
ng?”
Poppy:“
Thepar
twher
eyouhav
etomi
ndy
ourown
busi
ness”
Rumigaspswhil
eMphochuckl
es.I
fshe’
ssnappi
ng
l
iket
hattheni
tmeanst
heyhadanalter
cati
on.
Mpho:“Toanswery
ourquest
ion,
we’
renott
oget
her
.
Neverwere.
”
Helooksatmebr
ief
ly,
nonchal
antl
ybutIf
eeli
t’
snot
.
There’
smoret
othatl
ook.Icl
earmythr
oat.
Me:
“I’
m wi
thZi
tha”
Khany
i:“
Right
.Youl
oveher
?”
Me:
“Doy
oul
ovePoppy
?”
Khany
i:“
Youcanputi
tthatway
.”
Il
ookatZi
thaandsmi
l
e.
Me:
“I’
m ont
hewayt
her
e”
Shesmi
l
esbackatme.
Rumi
:“OKever
yone.Let
’snotf
orgett
hisdi
nneri
sfor
meandRuben.
”
Poppy
:“HowcanweMar
a?”
Rumi
:“Real
l
ysi
s?”
Poppyr
oll
sherey
es.
Poppy:“Sor
ry.Ruben,
that
’smybestfr
iendSukol
uhl
e.
Ibel
iev
eshe’st heonl
yoneyouhaven’
tmet”
Me:
“HIRuben.You’
repr
ett
y”
Thegi
rlcr
acksasmi
l
eandwav
es.
Ruben:
“Hi
Suko”
I
’
mtakenabackbyherv
oicebutst
il
lwav
eback.
Whent hechefbr i
ngsthefoodandev eryonedigsin,
i
t’
slikethedramahasbeenf orgotten.Isti
ll
catch
Mpho’seyesonmeandhedoesn’ tevenbot her
l
ookingaway .Idon’tkeepmyey esonhi mf ortoo
l
ong.Idon’tknowwhati sgoi
ngt hroughhishead
andhonestly,Idon’
tcare.Myrelationshi
pwi thZit
ha
mightbefreshbutI ’
m seri
ousabouther .
.
POPPY

RubenandRumi got oherroom whileIclearthe

tablewithKhanyi.Sukolef
tr i
ghtaft
erdinnerwith
Zitha.IblamethelooksMphokeptgi v
inghim.I’m
notget t
inginv
olvedthisti
me.AsmuchasIl ove
Mpho, I
’
m proudofSukof orhavingchosenhi mself
.
Her efusedtobei nsomethinghewasn’ tsur
eof f
andi nsteadwentwithsomeonewhowaschoosi ng
him ashechoseher .
Khanyi:“
So,hav
ey ougiv
enourconv
ersat
iona
thoughtory
ou’l
lconti
nuesul
ki
ngandsnappingat
meev
erychancey
ouget
?”.
Heh,
thisguy.Hesayst
hissocal
mly
,li
kei
t’
snotan
i
nsul
t.Vel
e,he’sbei
ngr
udetome.
Me:“I’
l
lconsi
deri tt
heminutey
out aket
hatpor
trai
t
ofyourexgir
lf
riendinyourr
oom andmov ei
t
downstai
rstothel i
vi
ngroom”
Khany
i:“
Thesi
tuat
ionsar
en’
tev
ent
hesame”
Me:
“We’
renott
hesame,
arewe?
”
Hesi
ghs.
Khanyi
:“Woul
dyout
hinkofGi
venf
oronceandnot
your
sel
f?”
Me:“Ar
en’
tyouthinki
ngofy our
sel
fwhenyou’
renot
l
ett
inggoofyourgirl
fr
iendwhopassedon?”
Khanyi
:“We’r
ebothbei
ngi
nsensit
ive,
Igetthatbut
I
’dappreci
ateifwenev
ert
alkaboutheragain.
”
Me:“Onl
yundert
hecondi
ti
ont
haty
oual
sowon’
t
br
ingmybabydaddyup.
”
Hesighsthenrel
uctantl
ynods.MaybeI’m badfor
t
hisbaitbutsheshouldnotspeakonissuesthathe
knowsnothi
ngof .I
tdoesn’
tconcer
nhim anyway.
Yes,ev
enafterhesaidhethi
nkshelov
esme.How
el
secanonei nt
erprett
hat‘
youcanputitthatway
’
hegaveSuko?
Gi
gi:
“Pops,
ice-
cream pl
ease”
Me:
“Ar
en’
tyouf
ull
?”
Hegi
ggl
esandshakeshi
shead.
Me:
“Ay
tthen”
Hef ol
l
owsmet ot
hef r
idgewhereItakeoutthetub
thenIgrababowl
from thecupboar
dandt akeout
chunksforhi
m.Hethanksmet henrunsbacktothe
l
ivingr
oom.
Hestandsbehindme,pr
essinghi
sbodyful
lyon
minewhil
ekissingmyneck.Heknowshistouches
aremyweaknessandwhenIdogett oexperi
ence
them,If
all
apart.
Khany
i:“
Ineedt
ime”
Me:
“Wh…whatf
or?
”
Khany
i:“
Int
ime,
I’
ll
remov
ethatpi
ctur
e”
Me:“FinebutIal
soneedt i
me.Besi
des,
myson’
s
concepti
onwasn’texact
lysunny
”
Khany
i:“
Wer
eyour
aped?
”
Me:“No.I
t’
sjust
…compl icated.Howmysist
er
r
aisedme…Ididn’tseeanythingwrongt
hen.
”
Khany
i:“
It
’sOKbabe.Igoty
ou”
Thatal
onewar
msmyhear
t.
.
SUKOLUHLE

Me:
“Howwasdi
nnerf
ory
ou?
”
Zi
tha:
“Itwascoolandwell
,funny
.Yourf
ri
endsar
ea
l
it
tl
ecrazybunch.Andev
eryonecamewithapart
ner
ot
herthanyourex”
Me:
“He’
snotmyex”
Zit
ha:“
Mm.AndIsawhowhekeptst eali
ngglances.
I
’m gl
adyourespect
edmethroughthat.Inowknow
youhaveabsol
utel
ynofeel
i
ngsforhim”
Me:
“You’
real
lIwant
”
Shesmi
l
es.
Zi
tha:
“Thanky
ou.
”
Me:
“Ihav
eint
erv
iewst
oday
.It
’st
hef
inal
cal
l
backs”
Zi
tha:
“OHy
esandIhav
etogohome”
Me:
“Buti
t’
s6am”
Wecamebacky ester
dayandfel
lasleepwhil
e
t
alki
ngaboutanyt
hingothert
hanthedinner
.
Zi
tha:
“IknowbutIdon’
twantt
ogohomet
ool
ate”
Me:“
Letmepr epar
ey ouabaththenandnoneedt
o
wor
ry,I
’
llgooutandleaveyoutoit”
Zi
tha:
“Youdon’
thav
eto”
Me:
“Iwantt
o.”
Ikisshercheekt
hengetof
fbed.Iboi
lwat
erand
thenpourintoabasi
n,mi
xi
ngwithcol
dwaterunt
il
i
t’swarm.
Me:
“Youknowwher
emyst
uffi
s,r
ight
?”
Shenods.Igooutandl
eav
ehert
oit
.
Myphoner ingswhenIcomebackfrom t
heshop.I
boughtbreadsoshecanhav ei
twit
heggsand
bacon.Ineedtodogrocer
iessoon.
Me:
“Yea?
”
Mpho:
“That
’showy
ouanswery
ourphone?
”
Me:
“Ist
hatwhyy
oucal
l
ed?
”
Mpho:
“Goodmorning.Idon’
tgetwhyy
ou’
rebei
ng
sor
udethi
sear
ly”
Me:
“I’
m notbei
ngr
ude.HowcanIhel
p?”
Mpho:
“It
houghtwef
ri
ends”
Me:
“And?
”
Hesi
ghs.
Mpho:
“Nev
ermi
nd”
Andhehangsup.Idon’tbothermymindwonder
ing
whatitwasallabout
.Notwhenitcomestohi
m
becauseI’
l
ljustbest
ressi
ngmy sel
f.
.
POPPY
Afewday slaterandmybi r
thdayi
sher e.IguessI’
m
exci
tedormay bei
t’
stheprospectofreceivi
nggift
s
andspendingitwithpeoplewhoar eclosetomy
hear
t.Rumi andGigiaretheoneswhowakemeup
whil
esingi
ngHappyBi r
thday.Asmi l
eimmedi at
ely
embracesmyl i
psasIopenmyey es.They’
rewith
Mphobuthe’ snotsingi
ng.
Mpho:“
HappyBi
rt
hdayPoppy
.Howol
dar
eyou
t
urni
ng?”
Il
augh.
Me:
“I’
m nol
ongerat
eenager
”
Iwinkathi
m.Youshoul
dseehowhi
smout
hgoes
agape.
Me:
“Bet
tercl
osei
tbef
oreaf
lyget
sint
her
e.”
Mpho:
“You’
reser
ious?
”
Me:
“Bat
hongMpho.I
’
m st
il
lyoung”
Mpho:
“ButKhany
iisl
i
ke…wow”
Me:
“Inev
ersai
dIwantsomeonear
oundmyage.
Besi
des,
agei
sjustanumber
”
Rumi:“
Goodbecauseher
e’sacakewi
tht
went
y
candl
es”
Shegi
vesi
ttomet
henki
ssesmyf
orehead.
Rumi
:“Happybi
rt
hdaySi
s”
Me:
“Thanky
ouguy
s”
Gigiget
sonmyl apandgi
vesmeahugaf
terIsi
tup.
Isli
cethecakeandweall
getapi
ece.
Mpho:“
So,
Iwasr
ightwhenIguessedy
ourageback
t
hen?”
Ichuckl
e.
Me:“Canwedr
opi
tnow?Iwantt
oenj
oymy
bi
rt
hday”
Mpho:“
Mm,
yesbutIgoty
ouagi
ft
.Justaccepti
t,
OK?”
Me:
“Whatdi
dyoubuyme?
”
Mpho:“
You’l
lsee.Anyway
,Ihav
etofi
nal
i
zesome
t
hingsf
oryourparty
.Igot
tal
oveandl
eavey
ou”
Heki
ssesmycheekandouthegoes.
Fewhour slater,I
’m dressedupi nasilkbl
ack
backlessbody conmi nidress,pai
redupwi t
hnude
redbot t
oms.I’m notamakeupper sonbuttodayi
s
anexcept i
on.Idoi tl
ightl
y.Ihavean8i nchBobwig
on,dirt
yblondei ncolor.Ilookgood, i
fIdosayso
my self
.
Rumi
:“Wow”
Me:
“Iknow,
right
?”
Rumi
:“Youl
ookhotMi
ssPar
ty”
Me:
“Thanky
oudol
l
.Wher
e’sGi
gi?
”
Rumi
:“He’
sint
hegar
den,
act
ingl
i
kei
t’
shi
spar
ty.
”
Sher
oll
sherey
es.
Me:
“Ah,
it’
sal
sohi
spar
tyany
way
”
Idon’thaveabigcir cl
eoffri
ends,howev erMpho’ s
fr
iendsarealsoher e.Bythat
,ImeanNosi andher
babydaddyev en.Hemustbet aki
nggoodcar eof
herbecauseshel ooksgood, i
sglowi ngeven.I tmust
beagi rl
,j
udgingbyhowhernosei sn’tgigantic.Suko
i
sher etoowithZitha.Khanyihowev er,i
sn’t.He’sin
Jobur
g,athi
ssister
’spl
ace.It
’smybi r
thdaysoI’m
notevensadaboutit
.Tseboandhi sboyfr
iendare
heret
oo.Igoaroundgreeti
ngallthesepeople.Ki
ara
camealonebutshe’
sbeenchi l
li
ngwithboTsebo.
Nosi
:“HappyBi
rt
hday
”
Me:“
Thanky ou.Shame,
youl
ookgood.Seewhat
f
ucki
ngjustoneguydoes?I
tmakesyouglow”
Shechuckl
es.
Nosi
:“Thanky
ou.I
’
vel
ear
nedmyl
essonshame”
Me:
“Good.Bet
terbegl
adi
thappenednowt
hani
n
t
hefut
ure”
Nosi
:“You’
renotsobadaf
teral
l
.”
Me:“Samphaphela.Anyway,
enjoyt
hepar
ty.Ihope
y’
al
lgotmeagift.Ilov
enicethi
ngs”
Nosi
:“Wesur
edid.Idon’
tseeKhany
iher
e.I
shenot
cel
ebr
ati
ngwit
hyou?”
Me:“He’
snotmyboy
fri
end.Besi
des,
hemi
ghtnot
knowit
’smybi
rt
hday
”
Idi
dn’
tgetat
extorcal
l
,not
hing.Buti
t’
sst
il
lfi
ne
wi
thme.
Nosi
:“Mm,
whatashame.
”
Me:
“Youj
usthadt
orui
nthi
ngsneh”
Shechuckl
es.Il
eaveherther
e.I
t’
smypar
tyandt
he
peopl
eIhaveherearefi
newithme.
Wehav eagoodt i
met hough,wit
hmet hanki
ng
ever
yonef ort
heirgif
ts.Mostofthem gaveme
moneyv ouchers.AsI’
m dancing,Rumibri
ngsmy
ri
ngi
ngphone.Ianswer .I
’m dr
unk,nol
ie.
Me:
“Yes?
”
“
Comet
othef
ront
”
Il
ookatt
hecal
l
erI
D.I
t’
sanunknownnumber
.
Me:
“Uhm,
OK”
Heh,Imi
ghtbegoingi
ntomydeat
hbutwit
hthi
s
al
coholi
nmysystem,Idon’
tev
enthi
nkoft
hat.
Ifi
ndhimleani
ngbyhiscarandhal
tmyst
eps.I
t
can’
the.Hesmilesatme.
Me:
“Kgosi
”
Myv
oicecomesouti
nawhi
sper
.
Kgosi
:“Ar
eyounotgoi
ngt
ogi
vemeahug?
”
Me:
“Uhm,
ofcour
se”
Hishandsgotomybut
taswehug.I
’
mtoodr
unkt
o
bethi
scloset
oaman.
Kgosi
:“Happyt
went
iet
h”
Me:
“Thanky
ou”
Hebr eaksthehugbutdoesn’
tletgo.Hi
shandsare
sti
l
lonmybut t
,evenasheleansforakiss.I
’
m
wrongf orr
eplyi
ngandmor ewrongforall
owinghi
m
topinmeagai nsthi
scar.
Kgosi
:“Let
’sgetoutofher
e”
I
’m breathl
essbutIsti
l
lnod.HeopenshisdoorandI
getin.Thisi
ssowr ongbutdamn,i
tfeel
sri
ght.

*
***
***
**
I
t'
sunedit
edsoexcuseanyerror
s.IknowIbeen
i
nconsi
stent(
Ibl
ameujwala)butpl
easecomment.
THI
RTY-
FIVE

KHANYI
LE

Iremai nstuckont hesameposi ti

onwhi lewatchi ng
wher eitalltranspired.ImeanIshoul dn’tbeaff ected
butIdot hinkoft hef actthatIdrov eallthewayher e
to‘surpri
se’ her.Ithoughtev enthoughwe’ renot
‘
dat i
ng’,we’datl eastbeexcl usi
ve.Isur eashel l
didn’
texpectt oseesomeoneI ’
veal l
owedar ound
myki dst ojust…t hinkingabouti tinfuri
at esmea
l
ittl
e.Andhe’ smar ried,whyi sn’
thewi thhiswi fe?
Doesn’tshesat isfyhi m?He’smysi ster’sageso
that’
sliketwi cePoppy ’sage.Butwhoam It oj udge?
Mpho:“Wheredi
dPoppygo?I
’
myett
oshowhert
he
gi
ftIgother
”
Me:
“Shej
ustl
eftwi
thKgosi
.Hecamet
ogether
”
Mpho:
“Howdi
dheev
engopastsecur
it
y?”
Me:
“He’
sat
hug.Hecanent
erany
wher
e”
Hepat
smyshoul
der
.
Mpho:
“I’
m sor
ryman”
Me:
“He’
spr
obabl
ybal
l
sdeepi
nhernow”
Mpho:
“Mostpr
obabl
y”
Me:
“Wer
etheyt
oget
her
?”
Mpho:
“I’
dbel
yi
ng”
Il
ookathi
m.
Me:
“Whatdoy
ouknow?
”
Mpho:
“I’
m notget
ti
ngi
nvol
vedman”
Me:“I
’myourf
riend.Atl
eastt
ell
mei
ftheyhav
e
hi
stor
yornot”
Mpho:“
It
’snotformet osay.Idon’
tgetwhyy
ou
car
ebecauseit
’sjustsex,
remember?”
Me:“
Thatdoesn’
tmeanIwanttoshar
e.Thi
sperson
j
ustt
urnedt
wenty,what
’sshedoi
ngwit
hhim?”
Mpho:
“Don’
tweal
lhav
eat
ype?
”
Me:
“Can’
tbel
i
evey
ou’
recondoni
ngt
his”
Mpho:
“I’
m notchoosi
nganysi
des”
Heshr
ugst
henl
eav
es.Damn,
Ifeel
li
keaf
ool
.
Ical
lthi
swoman,wit
hhopesthatshe’l
lanswersoI
can…Idon’
tknow.Maybet
ell
herI’m here?
Poppy
:“Hey
”
She’
sbr
eat
hlesswhenshedoes.
Me:
“Hi
.I’
m atMphos,
wher
ear
eyou?
”
Poppy
:“Mm,
uhm…ah…nott
her
e?”
Me:
“So,
youl
eftguest
sony
ourownpar
ty?
”
They’
rer
eall
ydoingi
t.She’
sanswer
edmycal
lwhi
l
e
he’
sdeepinhere?Wow.
Poppy
:“Mm,
unf
ort
unat
ely
.Apol
ogi
zef
orme”
Me:“Shoul
dIleav
enow?Idr
oveal
lthewayher
esoI
canseeyou”
Poppy
:“Yesss…Imean…no,
don’
t.Lat
er”
Thenshehangsup.Wow.Ist
il
lneedher
ethoughso
I
’l
lwaither
eandseehowshe’
sgoingtoanswerfor
hersel
f.
.
POPPY
Me:
“Thi
s…i
s…wr
ong”
Kgosi
:“Mmm”
Me:
“We…shoul
dst
op”
Kgosi
:“Becauseoft
hatboy
fri
endofy
our
s?”
He’
sst
oppedsucki
ngmeandi
snowgi
vi
ngmean
uni
mpr
essedl
ook.
Me:“Idon’
thav
eaboy
fri
end,
you’
ret
hemar
ri
edone
her
e”
Kgosi
:“Ihaven’tf
orgottenmyvows.YouknowIlov
e
you,t
hathasn’tchanged.Besi
des,Iwant
edtomake
l
ovetoy ouony ourbi
rthdaybutI
’m nol
ongeri
nthe
mood”
Me:
“Hai
bo.You’
ret
her
easonI
’
m soaki
ng.Comeon”
Kgosi
:“No.Youcangot
ohi
m”
Me:
“So,
Icameal
lthewayher
eforaqui
cki
e?”
Kgosi:“
Thi
sisstil
lyourni
ght
.Atl
eastyougott
o
orgasm.Imissedheari
ngyouscr
eam mynameas
youfel
lapar
t”
Ibi
temyl
i
p.
Me:
“Thanky
ou?
”
Hechuckl
es.
Kgosi
:“Getdr
essed.I
’
lldr
ivey
ouback”
Me:
“No”
Myv oi
ceevencomesoutwhiny.Idon’tknowifI’
m
dr
unkorIreal
lydon’
twanttoleave.Igetupandget
ontopofhi
m.He’salsonaked.Ikisshisneck.
Me:
“Nope”
Ithenkissal onghisjawuntilmyl i
psar eonhis.He
repli
essoonasmyt ongueslidesintohismout h.
JustwhenI ’
m aboutt ostar
tmov i
ngonhi m,his
phoner i
ngs.Thankf ull
y,heanswer sitandonly
signal
st hatIshouldkeepqui et.Ibi
temyl i
pthen
ri
dehi m slowlyandsensually.Hehashi seyeson
meev enashet alks.
Kgosi
:“Yes…when…I
’
m busy…tomorr
owbaby
…yes,
I
’l
lbetherei
nthemor
ning…Il
oveyoutoo”
Hethr
owsi tawayaf
terthenhi
shandsgotomybut t
ashestandsup.I
’m pi
nnedagai
nstthewal
lthent
he
rought
hrust
sbegi
n.Damn,
he’
sreal
l
yaboutt
omess
upmywal know.
*
***
I’
m drainedinthemorningandmyheadi salit
tl
e
heavy.I’
m notsurpr
isedhe’
snotnexttome,
especiall
yaftert
hecallherecei
vedl
astnight
.Iwal
k
tothebat hr
oom.Ineedabat h.
Isoakinther
e,unt
ilt
hewatertur
nscol
d.I
t’
s
soothi
ngandalsohelpswi
ththesor
enessdown
ther
e.Lastni
ghtwashecti
c.
It
’spastbreakfastbutKgosi actuall
yorderedme
someanddi dthatthinghel ikesofleavingmoney
forme.Itusedt omakemef eell
ikesomehookerbut
now, nowIjusttakei t
.Thist ime,Itakeitasmy
bir
thdaypresent.I’
vewor nt heclotheshegotme,
whichareblackcot tonbikershor tswithablack
bandeau.It’
swi t
hnopant i
essoIguesst hel
ady
southhast obreath.Aftertakingall t
hat’
smi ne,
I’
m
onmywayout .
Arri
vi
ngatMpho’spl
ace,
Ihavenoideawherethe
exhaust
ioncomesfr
om.It
’spr
obablyf
rom notreal
l
y
sl
eepi
ngsinceKgosi
waspoundi
ngmet
hrough
mostoft
henight.
Ihal
trightaft
ergetti
ngi nmyr oom.Khany i
isonmy
bed,si
tti
ngupwhi lescrolli
ngthroughhi sphone.
Whenhel ooksup, Igulp.Ofcour seheknowswhat
happened,he’snotaf ool.I
t’snothi
ngI ’
m proudof
butI’
dbel yi
ngifIsayIr egreti
t.Iclearmythroat
.
Me:
“Hey
”
Myv
oicei
scr
oaky
.
Khany
i:“
Hey
.You’
ref
inal
l
yback”
Inod.
Me:
“I…am.Iwasn’
texpect
ingy
out
obeher
e”
Khanyi
:“Youdon’
trememberust
alki
ngont
he
phonelastni
ght
?”
Ionl
yrememberwhenhebr
ingsi
tup.
Me:
“Oh,
yes.Idonow”
Iputt
hebagsont
hecouchandsi
tnextt
othem.
Khany
i:“
Thatgood,
huh”
Me:
“Excuseme?
”
Khany
i:“
Youwincedaf
tersi
tt
ingdown.Ihav
etogi
ve
i
ttoDani
els”
Me:
“You…y
ou…knowIwaswi
thhi
m?”
Khanyi
:“Isawhim.Icameaf
terhi
m,sawy
ouguy
s
ki
ssingagainsthi
scar
”
Icoul
dapol ogizebutnotwhenwhat ’shappening
betweenusi sn’tcl
ear.Imean,i
t’
sclearwe’r
enot
dati
ngandi t’
snotl i
kewespokeofbei ngexclusi
ve.
Technical
l
y, Ididn’
tdoanythi
ngwr ong.
Me:“
Ididn’
tthi
nky
ou’
dcome,consi
deri
nghowy
ou
di
dn’
tbotherwi
shi
ngmeahappybir
thday”
Khany
i:“
Idi
dn’
twanttodoitoverthephone,whi
ch
i
swhyIdroveal
lthewayhere.St
upidmewant edto
sur
pri
seyoubuti
tendedupbeingv i
ceversa”
Me:
“I…Idi
dn’
tknow”
Khany
i:“
That
’swhyi
t’
sasur
pri
se,
right
?”
He’smaki
ngmefeelbadnow.Hecameal
ltheway
butIal
sohadnoi
dea.
Me:
“It
houghty
oudi
dn’
tcar
e”
Khanyi:“
Ithoughtwewereexcl
usi
ve.Idon’tev
enget
whyy ou’
remessingaroundwit
hamar ri
edman
that
’stwiceyourage.Doyouknowthathissonis
almostyourage?”
Me:
“Don’
tjudgemeKhany
il
e,don’
t.
”
Khany
i:“
I’
m alwaysl
ookingoutf
oryou.Youcan’
t
al
waysreduceitt
omej udgi
ngyou”
Isi
gh.
Me:“Wenev
erspokeofbei
ngexcl
usi
vebutjustyou
pr
eachi
ngoverandov
eragai
nthati
t’
sjustsex”
Khanyi
:“Ihadyouar oundmykidsandevenwant
them t
omeety ours.Ithoughtt
hatmadeitcl
eart
hat
Iwantustolast”
Me:
“Sayi
t”
Khanyi
:“ItseemsIneedt osincemyact i
onswer
en’
t
l
oud.Iwanty out obemine.You’retheonl
ywomanI
fi
ndmy selfi
nterest
edinafterLesedi’
sdeat
handI
wantyouasmi ne”
Me:
“Ev
enaf
terl
astni
ght
?”
Khany
i:“
Evenaf
terl
astni
ght
”
Ismi
l
e.
Me:
“ThenI
’
llgl
adl
ybey
our
s”
Igetupf
rom t
hecouchandscur
ryt
ohi
m wher
eI
hughim.
Khany
i:“
Howdoy
ouknowhi
m?”
OH,nowIknowwhyheref
usedtoki
ssme.ImeanI
geti
tbutoneki
sswoul
dn’
thav
ehurt
.
Me:
“It
’sal
ongst
ory
”
I’
m notabouttotell
him aboutmycardschemi ng
andhowIal mostdieduntilt
hemanhadmer cyon
me.Ithoughthespar edmylifef
orsexbutthenhe
conti
nuedcari
ngandev engotri
dofOki f
ormeand
myf amil
y’
ssafet
y .Hedoesn’tevenexpectany
paymentforit
.
Khany
i:“
Howl
ong?
”
Me:
“Whyam Ibei
ngquest
ioned?
”
Hesi
ghs.
Khany
i:“
Fine.Let
’sgohav
ebr
eakf
ast
”
Me:
“Iat
ebef
oreIcameher
e”
Henods.
Khany
i:“
I’
m goi
ngt
oshower
”
Inod.
Kgosical
lsl
i
keheknowshe’
soutoft
her
oom.I
answer.
Me:
“Hi
”
Kgosi
:“I
’
m seei
ngy
ouagai
ntoni
ght
.I’
l
lsendacar
”
Me:
“Ican’
t.I
-
Kgosi
:“Iwasn’
taski
ngy
ou.Ber
eadyat8”
Thenhehangsup.Wow.
.
SUKOLUHLE

Me:
“Wel
comet
oSukoRepai
rsandPawnShop”
Ishakethetwowomenandman’ shandsafter
.
They’r
ethethr
eesuccessf
ulcandi
dates.Al
lwe’
re
hopingforf
rom nowonisthatt
hestoremakes
enoughmoneyf ormet obeabletopaythem.Thei
r
salar
yisatbasi
clevelandIthankGodIpassedmy
shortbusi
nesscoursebecauseIwouldn’
tknow
thesethi
ngs.
Nobant
u:“
So,
whenar
eweget
ti
ngpai
d?”
Il
augh.
Me:“Howdoy ougetpai dwhenyouhav en’twor ked?
Youoffi
cial
l
ystartonthefourt
hofJanuar ysince
we’r
eopeningthem soseey oual
lthen.Youal ready
knowyourjobdescri
ptionsowe’r
edoneher e”
Nobant
uisthecl
eaninglady
,Lesegoi
stheadmi
n
whi
leJoeli
sthecashier
.
It
’sexci
ti
ngr eal
lybecauseInev
erthoughtI
’
dbean
employer.I
’
dal waysbeensomeonewhoseeksaj ob
andnotwhopeopl ecometoforone.Thewheel
s
havereal
lyturned,Godhasbeengoodt ome.
Ical
lZit
ha,
aski
ngi
fshewant
smet
ogether
anyt
hingsi
nceI
’mi
ntown.
Zi
tha:
“Justsomei
cecr
eam andsnacks.Al
so,
that
wi
neIlike”
Me:
“Wi
l
lIf
indy
ouatmypl
ace?
”
We’ r
eatt hatstagewher eshehasmykey .I’
my ett
o
mov eout .Thespacei ssmallandwel l
,Ineed
somet hingmor espaciousbutI’m putt
ingitoffto
untilt
hest orest ar
tsmaki ngmoney .She’spatient
withme, doesn’tdemandandmostoft hetimewai ts
formet oof f
er.Therearet i
meswhensher eally
needssomet hi
ngt hatsheasks.I’
mt hinki
ngof
givi
nghert hatgirl
fri
endallowancebecauseIcan
affordto.
Zi
tha:
“Yes”
Ibumpintomysist
erwhenI’m atWoolwor
ths.She’
s
withamanIassumeishers.Everyti
meIseeher,I
thi
nkoftheti
meshethr
ewher selfatmewhenIhad
thatf
açadeon.
Mosa:
“AoTi
nto.You’
rescar
ce”
Me:
“You’
ret
alki
ngt
ome?
”
Il
ookaround.SheknowsIhat
ethatnamesowhy
’s
sheact
ingupnow?
Mosa:
“Oh,
it’
sli
ket
hat
.Li
fe’
sgoodneh.You’
reev
en
shoppi
ngatWool
i
es”
Me:
“You’
rewast
ingmyt
ime”
Mosa: “
Oh,Iam now?Nowthaty
ou’r
ebecomi
nga
decenthumanyout hi
nky
oucanlookdownonme?
”
Il
ookatt
heguyshe’swi
thwho’
slooki
ngatmewi
th
hi
sbrowsfur
rowed.
Me:
“You’
reembar
rassi
ngy
our
sel
f”
Iwal
kpastheraf
tert
hat.I
t’
sgoingtotakealong
ti
meformetomov epastever
ythi
ngthat’
shappened.

*
***
**TWOYEARSLATER*
***
***
THI
RTY-
SIX

POPPY

Lif
ehasbeenr ather…chi ll
edt hesepastt woy ears.
Khany iandIhav ebeengoodandI ’
v efoundmy self
doingwhatIpr omi sedZur iIwoul dn’t–If elli
nlov e.
He’sjustdi ffer
entandIl ikeit.Hel ov esmeand
showsi tt ome.I t’snotj ustbyhi swor dsbuthi s
acti
onsspeakf orhi mt oo.I’m evensur pr
isedwe’ ve
beent oget herfort hi
slong.I t’
shar dt obel i
eve.Gigi
i
snowt ur ningf i
vewhi chmeanshehast ost art
school.Iwanthi mt ostartonacl eansl ate,dothings
l
egallylikeRumi whichmeansget tinghi m abirth
certi
fi
cat e.It’
ll
beeasyf orhim sincehi sf
atheris
SouthAf r
icanwhi chaut omat i
callymeanshei stoo.
It
’sonepastIhadhopedIwon’ thav etorev i
sit.
Rumi:“Can’
tbel
ieveI
’
m doingmymatri
cthi
syear
.It
act
uall
ymeansI ’
ll
mov etoJobur
gandwhoknows,I
mightbumpintomycr ush”
Me:
“Goodmor
ningma’
am”
Shehuf
fs,
rol
l
ingherey
es.
Rumi:“
Real
ly
?Aren’
tyouexci
ted?I
t’
s.Anewy
ear
.
Youshoul
dbe”
Me: “
Whathappenedwithy
ouandRubensi
ncey
ou
speakingofy
ourcrush?
”
Rumi
:“NewYear
,newme”
Thenof
fshegoes.Ionl
yshakemyheadatt
hat
.
Ihav en’tcheckedonMphoi nawhi l
e.Wemov edout
i
nt oournewhome.I t
’si
nAirportvi
ewandf arfrom
mostt hings.Ourhousei sn’
tcompl et
ey etbutfiveof
ther oomsar e.There’
sthebathroom, twobedrooms,
kitchenandt heli
vingroom.I’m shari
ngwi t
hGi gi
whi l
eRumi hashersalone.Mylitt
lesisteri
sturning
sixteen.
Mpho:
“Pops”
Me:
“Hey
,howar
eyou?
”
Mpho:
“I’
mfi
ne,
you?
”
Me:“
Youdon’
tsoundli
kei
t.I
’
m good.Iknowhow
homemakesyoufeel
”
Mpho:
“It
’sexhaust
ingbuti
t’
sfami
l
y,r
ight
?”
Me:“Don’
tlett
hem f
eedof
fyourpeace.Youdon’
t
hav
et obether
e”
Mpho:“Don’
twor
ryaboutme.Hav
eyoucheckedon
Suko?
”
Me:“Ei
sh,
Ihavebutnoti
naf ewday
s.I
’
vebeen
st
ressi
ngbutI
’
llgotohimtoday”
Mpho:
“Isi
tKhany
i?”
Me:“
No.It
’sGigi
butnot
hingIcan’
thandl
e.Ij
ust
want
edtocheckuponyou”
Mpho:“Iappreci
atei
t.Youknowy
oucancal
li
fyou
needanythi
ng,ri
ght?
”
Me:
“Yessi
r”
Idi
alSukoafterhangi
ngup.Thingshavebeenhar
d
onmybestf r
iend.He’
sbeensli
ppinginandoutof
depr
essionsoI’mreal
lyworr
iedabouthim.
Suko:
“Poppy
”
Me:
“Ar
eyouhome?
”
Suko:
“I’
m asi
ngl
efat
her
.Wher
eel
sewoul
dIbe?
”
Me:
“Idi
dn’
tmeani
tli
ket
hat
.I’
m comi
ng”
Isighafterhangi
ngup.I t
’sbeenthreemont hsand
i
t’ssti
llt
akingatollonhim.Isuggestedt hatheand
thetwinsmov ei
nwithusbuther efused.Igetwhy
though,consider
inghowsmal l
ourhousei sbutI
knowwecoul dhavewor keditout.Mphoi susual
ly
theonewhospendsal otofti
mewi ththem.He’s
beenther eforhi
m sincethetwinsbir
th.
Me:
“I’
m goi
ngt
oSoso,
wannacomewi
th?
”
Gi
gi:
“Soso?Yes.Wecango”
Heget
supf r
om thefl
oorandt
akesmyhand.Webi
d
Rumif
arewel
lisonthephonewit
hwhoev
er.
So,Mphogotmeawhol ecarf
ormyt wenti
eth
bi
rthday.ThatmeantIhadt ol
earnhowtodrive.I
t’
s
aGolfMK6.Any way,Igetinaf
termakingsureGigii
s
buckledup.Thi
sonet hi
nkshe’sgrown.
Sukoisrent
ingaflatinUnit5.Hewasst ay i
ngthere
wit
hZitha.He’
snev erspokenofbuy i
ngahouseor
bui
ldi
ngone.Hisst or
eisdoingwell,sowel lt
hathe
openedanotherfr
anchiseinanothermal l
.I’
m proud
ofhim.Seemslikehisdream ofmanuf acturi
nghis
ownsmar
tphonei
sjusther
e.
.
SUKOLUHLE

Ifitwasupt ome, Iwoul dn’thaveanyv i

si t
ors.We’ r
e
fineonourownbuty oucan’ tsaythatt opeopl ewho
car eabouty ou.Noneoft hem under stands.I t
’shar d
formebecauseI ’
venev erhadt oexper i
encet his
kindofloss.HowdoIl ookatmyki dsasgai nwhenI
l
ostt heirmot her ?I
t’
sbeent ough.Ourf i
r styear
together,wewer ehappy .Shegotpr egnantt oosoon
andIbeggedhernott ogetanabor ti
on.Shewant ed
tot er
minat e,spokeofhowi twasn’ tpartofherpl ans
butIcoul dn’tallowhert ogetr i
dofmyseed.So, she
l
istened, t
hankGod.Li ttl
edi dIknowt hatmy
depar t
urewoul dl eadt oherl eavingus.Somet imes
I’
dconv incemy selfthatI’vegot tenusedt oit,until
oneoft hem cr iesandIr emember .Ihav en’tnamed
them, sti
llcallthem thet wins.Ijust…Idon’ tknow
whatt o.Mymot herdoescomet ocheckonust oo.
It’
swei r
dhowcl osewe’ vegot tenagai nthr ought he
years.Zeldaal
socomesbutnotf requent l
ybutshe
doescal l
.Mosa?Wel l
, shegotmar r
iedt hedaywe
l
ostZi t
ha.She’sneverbot heredcomi ngandIhope
shenev erdoes.See,raisi
ngt wobabi esont hebott
le
meansIam homeal lthet ime.Thebusi nesssideis
takencareofanddoi ngwel l
.Iwasev enabl eto
expand.Ijusthaven’
thadt i
mef oritsinceZithagave
birt
h.
Poppy
:“AndI
’
m her
e.Wher
ear
emyf
avor
it
etwi
ns?
”
Shesnapsmeoutofit
.Shehast
hekeyswhi
ch
expl
ainshowshecanj
ustbar
gei
nhere.
Me:
“They
’resl
eepi
ng”
Gi
gi:
“Soso!
”
HerunstomeandIputhi
m onmyl
ap,
kissi
nghi
s
f
orehead.
Me:
“Youkeepget
ti
ngbi
gger
”
Hesmi
l
es.
Gi
gi:
“I’
m abi
gboy
”
Me:
“indeed.You’
l
lbeatschool
soon”
Gi
gi:
“Yes.I
’
llgot
ogr
anny
”
Andoffhegoes.He’saccust
omedtothi
spl
aceand
knowswherehe’l
lfi
ndher.Poppywal
kstomeaft
er.
Shewal
kst
omeandf
rowns.We’
rei
nthel
i
vingr
oom.
Poppy
:“Youl
ookdr
ained”
Me:
“Tel
lmesomet
hingIdon’
tknow”
Shesi
ghsandsi
tsnextt
ome,
taki
ngmyhand.
IhavenoteateninaweekandIdon’
tseet
hat
changingany
timesoon.Peopl
ecanj
ustmoveon
l
ikethatandforget
.Ican’
t.
Idon’twantt ost artthinki
ngt hatI’
m notmeantf or
goodt hings.Idon’ twantt othinkI’m notmeantf or
l
ove.Zi thaandIwer emeantt obe.I ’
venever
experiencedt hatkindofl ove.Itwaspur eandr eal,
sofulfil
lingandmademesohappy .Ital
ldoesn’t
makeanysenset ome.Thehar destparthasbeen
accept i
ngt hatshel eftus.
Poppy
:“Whendi
dyoul
asteat
?Youl
ookf
rai
land
pal
e”
Me:
“That
’sacompl
i
ment
?”
Poppy
:“We’
rebacktothebegi
nning,ar
en’
twe?Who
hel
pswit
htheki
dsifyou’
reli
kethis?
”
Me:“
Mymotherisher
e.Shecomesi
neverymorni
ng
andl
eav
esl
ate.Thi
s…hasbecomeherdayjob.
”
Poppy:“Suko.You…youhavetoacceptt
hatshe’
s
gone.Shemadeachoi ceOK.Thesamewayy ou
deci
dedy ouwanttokeepthem”
Me:“Shemademet hinkit
’swhatshewanted.She…
sheseemedhappyt hroughoutthepr
egnancy.She
waswhenwef oundoutit’
stwinsandevenduring
herantenat
alcheckups.Howcanshej ust
…Ihat e
herforthi
s”
Poppy: “
Iknowt hi
ngsdon’tmakesenset oy oubut
i
t’sthesameaswhenamanchoosest oflee.Youl
et
them,justli
keyoushouldletZit
ha.Shesignedaway
herparentalri
ghtsbecauseshedidn’
twantt ohave
totakeresponsibi
li
ty.I
t’
sthereal
it
yyou
unfort
unatelyhavetomakepeacewi th”
Me:
“Justl
i
ket
hat
?”
Poppy:
“Justli
kethat
.Itwon’
tbeeasybuti
thast
o
bedoneforthesakeofyourboy
s.”
Me:
“They’
regoi
ngtogrowupand…andaskabout
t
hei
rmother.Whatwi
l
lIsay
?”
Poppy:“
We’ll
crossthatbr
idgewhenwegetther
e.
Fornow,I’
l
lwarm upsomet hi
ngf
oryou.Youhavet
o
eat
”
Isigh.Thet ear
sj ustkeepfall
ing.May beIhaven’t
accept edbecauseI ’vebeenpray i
ngt oGodf orherto
return.Shedi dn’tsaywher eshe’sgoi ng,j
ust
disappear edf r
om t hehospit
al.Itmusthav ebeen
somet hingshehadbeenpl anningf orawhi l
e.One
thingIcan’ twrapmyheadar oundt houghiswher e
shegott hemoney .Forsomeonet or unoff,
they’d
needi ttosur vi
veaf ewmont hsint hatnewci ty
.Itry
nottot hinkabouti tal ott
houghbecauseal litdoes
i
sgi vemeaheadache.
Me:
“Thanky
ou”
She’
sjustgivenmeapl at
eofsoup,
whichmy
motherprobablymade.Withasi
gh,Idr
ink.
Poppy
:“I
’
llcal
lTsebosohecancomeshav
eyou”
Me:“No,
don’
t.I
’mfi
nel
i
ket
his.YouknowI
’
m 29,
r
ight
?Thisi
sgrowt
h”
Sheshr
ugs.
Poppy
:“Fi
net
hen”
Me:
“Thanky
ouPoppy
.”
Poppy
:“That
’swhyI
’
myourbestf
ri
end”
Me:“Let’stalkabouty
oubef
oreIbecomemore
depressed.Hav eyouuhm…reachedoutt
oGi
gi’
s
possibl
ef ather
s?”
Shesi
ghs.
Poppy:“
Itrackedthem downandsentt
ext
s.I
’
m
wait
ingforthem t
or epl
y”
Me:
“Ar
etheyr
elat
ed?
”
Poppy
:“Br
other
sbutpl
ease,
don’
taskmor
e”
Me:
“Wel
l
,goodl
uck”
Poppy
:“I
’
m def
ini
tel
ygoi
ngt
oneedi
t”
Me:
“Ar
etheybad?
”
Shebi
tesherl
i
pthenshakesherhead.
Me:
“Khany
i’
sage?
”
Shechuckl
es.
Poppy :“
No,youngerbuti
t’
sst
il
lstat
utoryrapeor
what ev
er.I
t’
sjust…Idi
dn’
tthi
nkI’
dev erhaveto
revi
sitmypast.IcanbetaR100thattheywon’tbe
pleasedtoo”
Me:“Rememberthatyou’
redoi
ngitf
orGigi
.Atl
east
hegetstomeethisfat
herbef
orehe’
satt
heageof
aski
ngquest
ions”
Shehuf
fs.
Poppy
:“Iguess”
Me:
“It
’l
lbeal
ri
ght
”
Shesmi
l
esatme.
Poppy:“
Rightbackaty
ou.Letmegogethim sowe
canleav
e.We’redoi
ngdinnerwi
thKhany
i”
Inod.
.
POPPY

Idr
ovetoKhanyi
’spl
ace.Upongett
ingt
her
e,Gi
gi
hasal
readyf
all
enasl
eep.Maybeitwasali
tt
lel
ate
forus.West ayedtoolongatSukosbutIknowhe’s
hungry.He’l
lwakeupi naboutanhourthengoback
tosleepaftereat
ing.Hehelpsmewithhim af
terI
getin.Gigi
hasgot tenreal
heavy.
Di
ana:
“You’
rest
il
lher
e”
Idon’
tknowwhereshe’
scomi
ngfr
om.It
houghti
t’
d
j
ustbeus(Khany
iandI)wi
tht
heki
ds.
Me:
“Whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?”
Di
ana:
“Thi
sismyson’
shouseandwhoar
eyout
o
ev
enaskmethat
?”
Khanyi
:“Ook,cant
hefightst
op?It
houghty
out
wo
wouldl
ikeeachotherbynow”
Di
ana:“Youcandobett
er.Sheshoul
dbeont
he
st
reet
s,planni
ngwi
thotherki
ds”
Me:
“Oh,
real
l
y?Li
key
ouwer
eatmyage?
”
Khany
i:“
Enough!
”
Het
hent
urnst
ome.
Khany
i:“
Ithoughtwet
alkedabouty
oubei
ngci
vi
l
wit
hmymot her”
Me: “
she’
stheadul
ther
e.Shedi
dn’
texact
lyseta
goodexample”
Hesi
ghs.
Khany
i:“Ther
eareki
dshere,j
usti
ncasey
ouf
orgot
.
Thi
sbickeri
nghasgot
tenold”
Diana:“
I’
myourmot
her
,youcan’
ttal
ktomel
i
ke
that”
Khanyi
:“Thenstar
tact
ingl
ikei
tbecausey
ou’
ret
he
ol
desthere.Baby,
comesitdown”
Hepull
sachairf
ormear
ounddi
ningt
abl
e.Isi
tthen
hesi
tsnextt
ome.
Me:
“What
’sgoi
ngon?
”
From thecandlel
itdinneronthet
ablet
henhismom
beinghere,somethingmustbeup.Idon’tknowwhat
though.Hegr absmyhandt hent
urnst
ohismom.
Khany
i:“
Wehav
eanannouncementt
omake”
Me:
“We?
”
Ihav
enoi
deawhathe’
sonabout
.
Khany
i:“
PoppyandIhadaconv
ersat
ionandwe’
re
expandi
ngourf
ami
l
y”
Di
anaandI
:“What
?!”

*
***
**
Unedi
ted,
apol
ogi
es.
Pl
easedocomment
.
Al
sosuggestnamesf
orSuko'
sboy
s
THI
RTY-
SEVEN

POPPY

He’sseri
ous.He’sser
iouswhil
eIhavenoi
deawhat
he’sonabout.HowdoIexpandaf amil
ywhenI
’min
thedark?Havewet al
kedbabi
es?Mymemor yi
s
foggyormay beIwasdrunk.
Diana:
“ You’
reser
iousl
ynotconsider
ing…wedon’ t
knowany thi
ngabouther.Itri
edr
unninga
backgroundcheckbutitcamebackbl ank.Poppy
mightnotevenbeherr ealname”
Iscof
f.
Khany
i:“
I’
m goingt
ot uckthesetwoi
n,Poppycome
hel
p.Mom, I
’
llseeyouafterthi
s”
Gr
eat
.Achancef
ormet
obeenl
i
ght
ened.
Khany
i:“
Don’
tsayany
thi
ngunt
ilt
hey
’reasl
eep”
Whenwegettot
heirbedroom,Iwatchhi
mread
t
hem abedt
imest
ory.IthoughtSbuwoul
dbeupby
now.
Whenhe’ sdone, hetakesmyhandandwal ksmeout
.
Wegot ohi
sr oom.Ican’tcallitour
swhenthat
port
raiti
ssti
llthere.I’
vegottenaccust
omedtoit
overtheyearsbutt hatdoesn’tmeanIappr
ove.
Me:
“Whatwast
hatabout
?”
Khany
i:“
Wespokeaboutt
hisbaby
”
Me:
“Whydon’
tIr
emember
?”
Wesi
tthi
ght
othi
ghont
hebed.Hehol
dsmyhand.
Khanyi
:“Ay earago,Iment
ionedthatLesedihad…
fr
ozenhereggs.I t
’sti
meandy ou’
retheperf
ect
candi
date.IloveyouandIknowy oulovemet oo”
Ial
lowmy sel
famomentt oregi
steral
lthathe’
s
sayi
ng.IsitbecauseheknowsIlovehim andthatI
’
d
doanythingf orhi
m?Thisi
swhyZur ihatedlov
e
becauseal li
tdoesismakeoneweak.
Me:“Youwantmetocar
ryy
ouandy
ourdead
gi
rl
fr
iend’
schi
ld?
”
Khany
i:“
It
’l
lbeour
s,t
hesamewayIseeGi
giasmy
ownson”
Me:
“So,
thatpi
ctur
emi
ghtnev
ergetr
emov
ed?
”
Khany
i:“
Nobaby
,comeon”
Me:“I
…Ijustneedt
ouhm…domyownr
esear
chon
sur
rogacyandwhatitent
ail
s”
Hesmi
l
es.
Khany
i:“
So,
you’
reconsi
der
ingi
t?”
Me:
“Il
ovey
ou,
don’
tI?
”
Heki
ssesmyhandt
hencheek.
Khany
i:“
Thanky
oubaby
”
Whatsucksmor eaboutt hi
sisthatbecauseofthat
non-di
sclosureIsigned,Ican’
ttal
ktoany oneabout
i
t.Now, I
’l
ljusthavetothinkitt
hrough,read
whateverIcanf i
ndonl i
nesoIknowexact l
ywhatI’
m
gett
ingmy selfi
nto.
Wegobacktowherehi
smom i
s,f
indi
ngSbuf
inal
l
y
upandherdi
shi
ngupforhi
m.
JustasIsitdown,myphonebeeps.I
t’
satextI
’ve
beenwaiti
ngf or
.Wit
hasigh,
Iputthephonebackon
thetabl
e.
Khany
i:“
Whowasi
t?”
Me:
“Justal
eadonsomet
hing”
Ican’
tsaymuchinhi
smom andGi
gi’
spresence.
Alt
houghmysonnevereav
esdr
op,
heprobablywil
l
atthement
ionofhi
sname.
Khany
i:“
Shoul
dIbewor
ri
ed?
”
Me:
“Notatal
l
”
Iknowwhathe’st
hinki
ng.He’
sbeenli
kethi
ssince
Kgosir
esur
facedtwoyearsagoandIdon’
tblame
him.
Mom:“Ar
eyounowgoingt
otel
lmewhyt
hehel
lyou
wantt
omakeherpr
egnant
?”
Khany
i:“
BecauseIl
oveher
”
Mom:“Nextyou’
ll
wanttomar
ryherwhenwedon’
t
knowanyt
hingabouther
”
Khanyi
:“She’
smywoman, noty
our
s.Youdon’
thav
e
toknowany t
hingabouther
”
Mom:“
Khanyil
e!I
sthathowy
ou’
ret
alki
ngt
oyour
ownmother
?”
Khany i
:“Youhav etoacceptthatI’
m notachi
l
dand
youdon’ tgett
ocont rolme.Irespectyoumom but
please,knowy ourplaceandst i
cktoit
.”
Mom:
“Wow”
Shestandsup,almosttr
ippi
ngt
hechai
randl
eaves.
She’
sf umingsothi
sisn’
tamomentformetol
augh,
eventhoughIfeell
i
keit.
Me:
“Thatwast
ense”
Khany
i:“
Neededt
obesai
d”
Me:
“Indeed”
Gi
gi:
“CanIgobackt
obed?
”
Me:
“Yesbaby
”
Gi
gi:
“Goodni
ghtKhany
i,goodni
ghtPopo”
Me:
“Goodni
ghtbaby
”
Iki
sshi
sli
ps.Yeah,may
beitwouldn’
tbesobadt
o
havehi
ssi
bli
ngrunni
ngaround.
Khany
i:“
Letmeseey
ourphone”
Me:
“What
?”
It
’sl
ikehewaitedf
ort
hem t
oleavesohecandot
his.
Irel
uctant
lygi
vehi
m myphone.
Iwatchashegoest
hroughi
t.Hegi
vesi
tbackwhen
he’
ssati
sfi
ed.
Khany
i:“
So,
thosear
eyourpossi
blebabydaddi
es?
”
Inod.
Khanyi
:“Howdidi
tev
enhappen?Whendi
dyoul
ose
yourv
irgi
nit
y?”
Me:
“Don’
tinsul
tme”
Ileav
ehi mthere.Thi
siswhyIdon’ tli
ketel
l
ing
peoplemyage.Theycounti tbackt owhenGigiwas
conceivedthenquesti
onthi
ngst hathavenothi
ngto
dowi t
ht hem.Hehasnor i
ghttoj udgeme,don’the
readhisBible?
Itakeoffmyclot
hesthengetinbed.I
’
m sl
eepi
ngi
n
theguestroom.I
’mtoomadt ohavehisl
ate
girl
fr
iend’
sspi
ri
thover
ingoverme.
.
SUKOLUHLE
Il
ookatthetwosuckingontheirpaci
fier
s.Theylook
moreli
keherthanmebutmay bethatmightchange
astheygr
owanddev elop.I
’v
et akenPoppy’swords
i
ntocogni
zance,mediatedoverthem whil
e
i
ntr
ospecti
ngmy sel
fintheprocess.
It
’stimeIst artedliving.Icannotrelyonmymot her
forevertol ookaf t
ermyki dsandIcan’ tstayof
fwor k
forever.Ihadt ogethandy menf orbot hshopsso
theycanhel pwi t
hr epair
s.Ihav en’
tbeent owor k
sincesoIhav eal ott ocatchupon.Ihav etoaccept
andr espectZi tha’
sdeci sionsbecauseshenev er
want edt het wins.Shedi di tforme,whi chwasa
selfi
sht hingf ormet oask.Ishouldhav eunderstood
whyshel eft.Itwasn’ twhatshewant ed.Shestayed
truetoher self, whichIappl audherf orandnowwi l
l
mov eonwi t
ht hataccept ance.Ihopet hetwi
nswi l
l
gettobeasunder st andi
ngi nthefuture.
Mom:“Theycan’
tbenamel
essf
orev
er.Theyneed
bi
rt
hcert
ifi
cat
es”
Me:
“Shenamedt
hem.Ij
ust
…Ican’
tacceptt
hat
knowi
ngshe’
snev
ergoi
ngt
obepar
toft
hei
rli
fe”
Mom: “
Neversaynev
er.Shemi ghtgr
owupthen
real
i
zeshecan’tl
i
vewithoutt
hem anymor
e.Have
hope”
Me:“Nomom.Shenev erwantedt obepregnanti
n
t
hefirstpl
ace.Shecarri
edthem forme.She’l
lhave
t
hatscarremindingherofthesacrif
iceshemadefor
l
ove.Iwaswr ongtoeverjudgeherforthat
”
Mom: “Thatscarwi
l
lremindherthatshe’
samother
andregardl
essofhowfarsheruns,that
’l
lnev
er
change.”
Me:
“Itdoesn’
tmat
ter
.How’
sthewhi
tesheepoft
he
f
amil
y?”
I
’m noti
nter
est
edbutifIhavet
odi
gress.I
’
vespoken
ofZit
haenoughfort
heday .
Mom: “
Fine.They
’remov
ingi
ntot
hei
rnewhouse
soon”
Me:
“Goodf
orher
.Youmustbesopr
oud”
Mom: “
YouknowIr
egr
eteverki
cki
ngyououtofthe
houseandt
urni
ngmybackonyouli
kethati
nst
ead
ofget
ti
ngy
oui
ntor
ehab”
Me:“Letbygonesbeby
gones.They
’l
lbeKamv
alet
hu
andKamv el
ihl
e”
Mom:
“AboKamv
a.Il
ovet
hem”
Me:“
I’
m al
laboutt
hem f
rom nowon.Rel
ati
onshi
ps
wer
enevermeantforme”
Mom:“Ormay
bey
ouar
en’
tmeantt
obewi
tha
woman”
Sheshr
ugs.
Me:
“HehMA,
arey
oucal
l
ingmegay
?”
Mom:
“Youwoul
dn’
thav
etheset
woi
fyouwer
e.”
Thenshewalksaway.She’
sbeenpay
ingat
tent
iont
o
ourguest
s,nowitmakessense.
.
POPPY

Ishouldhavedonethisalongt
imebuti
tdoesn’
t
matterbecauseI
’m doingi
tnow.Theycameupwit
h
alocat
ionandIletthem becauseI ’
m notinthe
moodf orhavi
ngmyway .I
’m doi
ngthisforGigi,
not
formyself
.Ican’
tbeli
ev emybabyhasgr ownt hi
s
much.Hewasj ustat oddleryest
erdayandnowhe’ s
star
ti
ngschool.Theygr owupsof ast.
Thingsbet
weenKhanyiandIaresti
ll
alitt
leRocky
butheknowsaboutthi
s.It
oldhim we’l
lonlygotoa
special
i
staft
erI
’
vefoundGigi
’sfat
her.It
’l
lgiv
eme
peace.
So,Ihadtotakeafli
ghtt
oKimber
leysoIcanmeet
upwi t
hthesetwo.Hewantedt
ocomewi thmebutI
remindedhimthati
t’
ssomethi
ngIhavetodoonmy
own.It’
simport
antIdo.
Me:
“Boy
s”
Theycli
ckthei
rtongueswhi l
emuggi ngme.Il
augh
atthei
rtwi
ntendencies.You’
dsweart hey’
ref
rom
thesamewomb.Icanheart hem cussingmeinmy
head.
Me:“
Iheary
ou’rebot
hinseri
ousr
elat
ionshi
ps.
How’
scommi t
mentgoing?
”
Isi
tdownandcal
lawai
ter
.I’
mfami
shed.
AJ:“
WhatdoyouwantAza?I
’
m noti
nthemoodf
or
smal
ltal
k.”
Me:
“It
’sPoppy
.P-
o-p-
p-y
,geti
t?”
Thabang:“Wedon’
tcar
e.Whydidyoucall
ushere?
Youdisappear
edtowhatev
erhol
ethencallusaf
ter
fi
veyearsdemandi
ngameetup?What ’
sthis
about?
”
Me: “
You’r
ebothact
ingl
i
kewenev
erhadt
hat
experi
ence.Thi
sisi
mport
ant
.”
AJ:
“Gett
othef
ucki
ngpoi
nt.
”
Heseemsmor
emadt hanThabang.He’
snat
ural
l
ya
gr
umpyper
sonbutt
his,t
hisi
sworse.
Me:“
You’r
emadatmer
eall
y?It
houghty
ou’
dbe
ov
eritsi
ncey
ouhav
eagir
lf
ri
end.
”
AJ:
“Youdidmedi r
tysodon’
texpectmet
ojust
smi
lewit
hy ou.Youlef
t!
”
Me:“
Inev
erpr
omisedtostayAJ,comeon.Any
way,
doy
ourememberthatl
i
ttl
ethr
eesomewehad? ”
Theygri
maceatthememor
ywhichmakesmel augh.
Theremini
scei
sgivi
ngmeti
ngl
esandgoosebumps.
Thabang:
“Whatabouti
t?”
Me:“Well
,weneverusedprotect
ionandwedidthat
f
orli
keaweek.Yoh,didyouknowIst i
ll
fuckforone
weekeverymont
h?Ol dhabit
sdiehardIguess.
”
AJ:“
So,
youfel
lpr
egnant
?Iassumet
hat
’swhyy
ou
cal
l
edusher
e.”
Me: “
Oh,you’r
esmar t.HisnameisGiv
enorjustGigi
.
Ibroughtasampl eofhisDNAsoy ouguyscando
thetest
.Whoev erist
hef at
herwil
lhel
phim geta
bir
thcerti
fi
cat
ebecausehe’ sst
arti
ngschoolsoon.
”
Thabang:“Whatt
hefuck?Youdon’
tthi
nkwe’re
goi
ngt obeli
evey
ourconwomanarse.Itcoul
dbe
anyone.”
Me: “
DoIl ookl
ikeIhav
et i
mef orgames?I
’
m not
evenaskingforchi
ldmaintenancebutamerebi
rt
h
cert
if
icat
e.”
AJ:
“You’
reonesel
fi
shbi
tch!
”
He’sseet
hing.Iknowifhecoul
d,he’
dsnapmyneck
r
ightnowandr ighther
e.
Me:
“Yes,
Iam t
hatbi
tch.If
eel
sor
ryf
orwhoev
eri
s
thefatherbet
weeny
outoobecauseI’m goi
ngtobe
thatbabymama.Ihopeyourgi
rl
fr
iendshavethat
gall
.”
Thabang:
“Fucky
ouAzani
a!”
Heevenspi
tsonthefl
oorli
kewe’renotina
r
est
aurant
.Thabangl
eaves,aft
erkicki
ngthechai
r.
Weignor
ethegaspsandmi ndourbusiness.
Me:
“Ihopey
ou’
renotl
eav
ingmet
oset
tl
ethebi
l
l.
”
AJ:
“Ohbecauset
hat
’sal
lyoucar
eabout
.”
He’
sst
il
lmad.
AJ:“
Howcoul dyoudothi
stomet
hencomeback
l
ikenot
hinghappened?
”
Me:“We’
vebothmovedon.Besi
des,
Iwasa
t
eenageranddumb.
”
Hescof
fs.
Me:
“Bookar
oom f
orus.I
’
vemi
ssedy
ou.
”
Ial
soneedtodist
ress.Thi
sKhanyit
hingisbother
ing
meabit.I
t’
sgoingtotakealotf
ormet ocarrya
deadwoman’schil
d.Thatal
oneshowst hathe’
snot
ov
erherandpr
obabl
ynev
erwi
l
lbe.
AJ:“
Where’st
hesampl
e?Doy
ouhav
ehi
spi
ctur
e?I
wanttoseehi
m.”
Igi
vehim sachett
hathasGigi
’
shairandasaliv
a
sampl
ejustincase.Hetakesi
tthenputsi
tinsi
de
hi
ssuitj
acketpocket
.
Me:“Ican’tshowy ouapicturethough.You’l
lmeet
hi
m afterwegett heresul
ts.Iknowi tdoesn’
tmatt
er
whothef atheri
sbecausey ou’r
ebot hgoingtobei
n
hi
sli
fe.”
AJ:“Youknowy ou’
rebadfordoi
ngthis,
right
?You
depri
vedusfiv
ey ear
sofourchil
d’sl
if
eandwoul d
haveconti
nuedifyoudidn’
tneedusnow.Whyar e
yousodamnev i
l!
”
Me:“
It’
sactual
l
ysi
xify
ou’
recount
ingt
he
pr
egnancy.
”
Hegivesmeadeadl
ylookt
hat
’l
lhav
eany
one
shaki
ngint
hei
rboot
s.
Me:
“Ah,
sor
ry.
”
He’
sagi
tat
edandIdon’
tbl
amehi
m.Ial
soknowhe
wisheshe’st
hefat
herbutI
’
m hopingnot.Iwantt
o
rai
nhavoconThabang’sgi
rl
fr
iendinst
ead.Thegi
rl
seemslikeaweakl
ing,
notthi
sharl
otAJi si
nlove
with.
AJ:“
Let’
sgett
heFuckoutofher
e.Iwantt
oremi
nd
youwhatyoul
ost
.”
I’
vepi ckedmyst uffthatf ast.Hepul lsmer oughl y
andev enthatcan’ter asemyexci tement .I’
m going
togetl aid!Thi
sisn’ tgoingt obemedi ocr esex,I’
m
tal
kingcr èmeDel adickbaby .He’sdr i
v inglikea
mani ac.I’m si
tt
ingnextt ohi m, pressi
ngmyt highs
togetherandcl enchi ngmymound.Thabang
probabl yknewsomet hingliket hi
si sgoi ngt o
happen.Iwoul dhav el ovedar epeatofourf irst
threesomebutt hisisgoodt oo.Mor et hangood
actually.
Besides,Ican’
thavethatkindofcheat
ingonmy
conscience.It
’snotl
i
keKhany ial
soisn’
tcheat
ingon
mewi thaghost .Heprobablyi
maginesherwhen
we’r
et ogether.
THI
RTY-
EIGHT

POPPY

I’
m goingtobeher eforaweekbecausethat’s
apparentl
yhowl ongit’
sgoingtot
akeforust oget
theresul
ts.Bet
weeny ouandme,Ithi
nkAJj ust
wantsmet obear oundf orsomet
ime.Hereall
yhad
hiswaywi t
hmey est
er day
.Themerethoughtofit
makesmeshi v
er.
I’
m onavideocal
lwi
thGi
ginow.Imi
sshi
m somuch
butIknowhe’si
nsaf
ehands.Rumii
sagoodbaby
si
tter
.
Ther
e’sagr
uesomeknockonmyhot
elr
oom t
hat
coer
cesmetoendthecal
l.
Me:
“Il
ovey
oubaby
,seey
ousoonok”
Henods.
Gi
gi:
“Il
ovey
out
oo”
Iwal
kbar
efoott
othedoorandopen.Ther
e’sa
f
umingThabangontheot
herend.Hepusheshi
s
waythr
ough,maki
ngmefall
buttfl
at.
Me:
“Thehel
l
?”
Thabang:
“Youshoul
dhav
est
ayedaway
!”
He’
sroar
ing.I
’
m unabl
etounder
standwher
ethi
s
r
ageiscomingfr
om.
Me: “
Idi
dn’tcomeher
ebecauseIwant
edt
obuti
t’
s
becauseIhadto”
Hescof
fs,
shaki
nghi
shead.
Thabang:
“Idon’
tbel
iev
ethat
.Yousawourli
ves
goi
ngwellanddeci
dedtocomewreckhav
oc!”
Me:
“I’
m nott
hatev
il
”
Mybut tisachi
ngfr
om thefall
.I’
minablack
backlessromperwit
hmyhai rletl
oose.I
’
m not
feel
ingli
kegoingout,
justgoi
ngt ost
ayherefort
he
day.
Thabang:
“Youknowhe’
snev
ercheat
edonher
befor
e”
Me:
“AJi
sagr
ownman,
oldert
hanmemi
ghtIadd.
Howareyoublamingmef
orhi
sinfi
deli
ty?I
twasa
choi
ce.He’
stheonewhol
edmet her
e”
Thabang:“Sot
hatol
dmany ou’r
edatingdoesn’
t
sat
isf
yy ouoryouj
ustcan’
tkeepthoselegscl
osed?
”
Me: “
Thesearemyl
egsandwhoIopent hem f
orhas
not
hingtodowithy
ou.I
sthatgi
rl
fr
iendofyours
sat
isfyi
ngyou?”
Thabang:
“Fi
ancé.
”
Imov
etowar
dshi
m.
Me:
“Yes,
her
”
Igetonhi
slap.I’
m sur
pri
sedhel
et’
smebecause
he’
sthest
rictone.
Thabang:“
Youknowyou’
rehi
sweaknessNi a,
al
way shav
ebeen.Hi
stor
ycan’
trepeati
tsel
f”
Me:
“Youshoul
dbehav
ingt
hist
alkwi
thhi
m”
Thabang:“
Hedoesn’
tcar
e.Hecan’
tjust
…hecan’
t
breakuphisf
amil
yovery
ou.Moreespeci
all
y
becauseyouwon’
tst
ay”
Me:
“Agai
n,y
oushoul
dbesay
ingt
hist
ohi
m”
Thabang:“Hewon’
tli
stent
omewhi
chi
swhyI
’
m
here.Don’
tgi
veint
ohim”
Me:
“Why
?”
Ir
unmynailsthr
oughhi
sgoat
iesensual
l
y,hear
ing
hi
m suckabreat
h.
Thabang:“
Forhisowngood.You’r
ebadf
orhi
m,bad
foral
lofus.IknowIcanhavemywaywit
hyouri
ght
nowandhe’ l
lsti
l
lbedownforyou”
Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“So,
that
’swhyy
ou’
reher
e?”
Thabang:“
Mywomansati
sfi
esmeandI
’
m notweak
l
ikeAJ.Icanr
esi
sty
ou”
Me:“Suchapi
tyI
’
m noti
nthemoodbutIcangi
ve
youbombasshead”
Thabang:
“St
op.Af
tert
her
esul
ts,
stayaway
”
Heget smeoffhislapt
henfixeshispants.Iwatch
him asheleav
esthensighwhent hedoorcloses.I
didn’
tcomeher ef
oralloft
his.Ihat
et hatI
’m bei
ng
blamedforAJ’sact
ionsbecauseittakestwot o
tango.
.
SUKOLUHLE

Today ,I’
v ewokenupf eeli
ngal otbet t
er.Ithel ps
talki
ngaboutherI ’
v ereali
zedandi t’
swhatgear smy
hear ttowar dsheal i
ng.Mymot heri
sn’ther esoIhad
gogetupear l
y,dot heirbott
lethenIbat hedt hem
aftert heywokeup.If edthem andnowt hey’re
sleepi ng.I’vebeenonmyl aptop,tr
yingtocat chup
onwor kwhi l
etheysl eep.I’
veal r
eadypr epar edt heir
bot t
les.Iknowt hey ’
llbehungr ywhent heywake- up.
Ther attleofkey salertsmet hatsomeone’ saboutt o
comei n.Itcan’
tbePoppybecauseshe’ sin
Kimber leyanddef init
elynotmymot herwhi chl eaves
Mpho.They ’
retheonl yoneswhohav emykey .
Whentheper
sonst
epsi
ntot
hel
i
vingr
oom,
I’
m
cor
rect
ed.
Me:
“Tr
ixy
?”
It
’safir
stseei
nghim…Imeanherli
kethi
s.Fr
om the
dresstothemakeupwhi
chissmudgedbecauseof
cryi
ng.Iputmylapt
oponthecof
feetabl
eandgetup,
wal
ki
ngcl
osert
oher
.
Me:
“Whathappened?
”
Tri
xy:“Ican’
tdoitany
moreSuko.I’
m sor
ryf
or
burdeningyoul
ikethi
sbutI
’
mt i
red”
Me:
“Ti
redofwhat
?”
Itakeherhandandwalkusbackt ot hecouch,
helpi
nghersitt
hensitnexttoher.Isti
ll
holdher
hand,squeezi
ngitf
orcomf ortandassurance.
Tr
ixy
:“Ofnotl
i
v i
ng,cl
osingmy
sel
fof
f.He’
sti
redt
oo.
Homeisalwaysdrai
ning”
Me:
“Tal
ktome”
Trixy:
“Iknowyouhaveal
otonyourplat
ebut
there’
s…there’
snooneel
seIcantal
kto.Pl
easehol
d
me”
Shegetsonmyl ap,l
ayingherheadonmyshoulder.
Ibrushherbackasshesobs, wonderi
ngwhathas
herli
kethi
s.Aretheyfi
nall
ygoingtoopenupto
someone?BecauseIknowt hey
’rehumanandweall
needashouldertocryon.
Tr
ixy
:“I
…I’
m sor
ry”
Thensheget
sof
fme,
wipi
ngherf
ace.
Me:
“Tal
ktome.Whatgoty
ousowor
kedup?
”
Trixy:“Mymom alwaysbl amesdadwhenev erher
relat
ionshi
psdon’twork.It’
shardsi
tt
ingthereand
l
isteningtohershaminghi mforbei
ngtrueto
himsel f
.Wegettir
edofhi di
ng.Now…nowshe’ s
planningtofi
ndmeawi fe”
Me:
“She’
swhat
?”
Tri
xy:“
Yes,i
magine.We’v
eneverhadagi
rl
fr
iend
befor
e,whatar
ewegoi ngtodowit
hawholewife?
”
Me:
“Youcan’
tletherdot
hat
”
Tri
xy:“
Ofcour
senot.I
t’
sthelastfuxxnstraw.Idon’
t
knowaboutMphobutI’
m donewi ththatwoman.
Suchapit
yIcan’
tbeincontr
ol f
ortoolong,Iwas
goingt
otakeafl
att
hereandt el
lherwhat’sup!”
Me:
“Oh,
rel
ax.Shoul
dIgety
ouadr
ink?
”
Tri
xy:“
Yespl
ease.CanIusey
ourbathr
oom?Ihave
tofi
xmyface.Ican’
tbel
i
eveyousawmeliket
his”
Me:“You’
rest
il
lbeaut
if
ulwi
thy
oursmudgedmake
up”
Shesmi
l
es.
Tr
ixy
:“Fucky
ou”
IwonderhowMphowil
lreactwhenhefi
ndshimsel
f
withl
ongacry
li
cnai
l
s.That’
ssomethi
ngIwishto
see.
.
POPPY

I’
vebeencoopedupi nthi
sroom fort
oolongpl
usI
needtosmokeandhav eadri
nk.I
’veshower
edand
gett
ingdressednow.I ’
m goi
ngtohav eapar
tyfor
onehere.I’
m oneper sonwhoenjoysthei
rown
companysoI ’m notbored.
I
’
m star
tl
edwhensomeonecl
ear
sthei
rthr
oatasI
’
m
t
yingmyhai
rup.Howdohegeti
nhere?
Me:
“Youshoul
dn’
tbeher
e”
AJ:“
Whynot?Igoty
ousomestuf
f.Ther
e’sabot
tl
e
ofHennyandpi
pewit
hyourf
avor
it
eflav
or”
Me:
“Howdi
dyouknow?
”
AJ:
“Iknowmor
ethany
out
hink”
Me:“Iwasaboutt
ogogetmy
sel
fsomet
hing.Di
d
youbri
ngsomemeat?”
AJ:“
Nobutwecangogetitsi
nceyou’
real
ldressed
uporbar
elysi
ncet
hoseasscheeksar
ebarel
y
cov
ered”
Me:
“Don’
tst
art
”
AJ:
“GoputonaJeanorsomet
hing”
Me:“
Hel
lno.Youdon’
tgettotel
lmewhattoputon
mybody
,I’
m nott
hatgi
rl
fr
iendofyour
s.”
AJ:
“Fi
ne,
let
’sgo”
Het r
ieshol
dingmyhandbutIdon’
tlethi
m.We’
re
notacoupleandcan’
tbegiv
ingofft
heassumpt
ion
thatweare.
AJ: “
So,I
’mreal
l
ynotseei
nghi
spi
ctur
eunt
ilt
he
resul
tscome?”
Me:
“Yesandy
oucan’
tchangemymi
ndaboutt
hat
”
Hechuckl
es.
AJ:
“Yousoundsosur
e”
Me:
“Iam wheni
tcomest
ohi
m”
AJ:
“Al
ri
ghtmommy
.We’
l
ldoi
tyourway
”
Me:
“Ther
e’snoot
herany
way
”
Wegettakeawaysfr
om Steersandhealsodriv
esto
Nandos.He’
sachickenf
an, canneversepar
atehi
m
f
rom i
t.From t
her
e,wegobackt othehotel.
Me:“Thabangwasher
e.Hewar
nedmet
ost
ayf
ar
awayfrom you”
AJ:“
Hopenot
hinghappenedbet
weent
het
woof
you”
Me:
“Unl
i
key
ou,
he’
sloy
alanddev
otedt
ohi
sfi
ancé”
Hechuckl
es.
AJ:
“Ther
e’sal
oty
oudon’
tknow”
Me:“
Well
,IknowI
’
m notahomewr
eckerl
i
kehe
i
nsi
nuat
ed.”
AJ:
“Rel
ax”
Weeatincomf ort
ablesi
l
ence,
aft
erwhichhesets
upthepipe.I
’m pl
ayi
ngmusiconthel
ow.Hepours
thehennyforusthenwedri
nkwhil
stsmoking.
AJ:“Howdidyoumanagetomakeyoursel
f
unt
raceabl
e?Apar
tfr
om thePoppyt
hing”
Me:“Youshoul
dn’
thav
elookedf
ormei
nthef
ir
st
pl
ace”
AJ:
“Il
ovedy
ou.Howcoul
dIhav
enot
?”
Me:
“Iwasnev
ergoodf
ory
ou”
AJ:
“Thatwasupt
omet
odeci
de”
Me:
“itdoesn’
tmat
ter
.You’
rehappynow”
AJ:“
Ihopehe’smi ne.Thabangalr
eadyhast
wokids,
hecan’
taf
fordat hir
dbabymama.Nott omenti
on
howthi
swil
laffecthisfiancée.
”
Me:
“She’
l
lbest
rong”
AJ:“
Ofcourseyoudon’tcar
e.Don’
tyougettir
edof
bei
nghear
tl
ess?You’r
e22andadamnmot her.A
l
it
tl
ecompassionwon’thurt
”
Me:“I
’m notgoi
ngt
opr
etendl
i
keIdo.Besi
des,
she’
s
not
hingtome”
AJ:“
You’l
lneverchange.Iwasal
mostconvi
ncedyou
l
ovehim butIseeit
’ssameoldtoyou,
sti
ll
under
Zur
i’
sshadow”
Me:
“Don’
t!
”
Heshouldneverment i
onmysist
er.Ihat
ewhen
peoplespeaki
llofher,
whichhar
dlyhappensbut
they
’vebothneverl
ikedherev
enwhenshewasal iv
e.
AJ:
“Hi
taner
ve?Youhav
efeel
i
ngsaf
teral
l
”
Me:“I
fyou’
reher
etot
estme,
mightaswel
ll
eav
e.I
canpart
yonmyown”
AJ:
“I’
mtappi
ngf
ir
st”
Me:
“Youwanty
ourbr
othert
oki
l
lme,
don’
tyou?
”
AJ:
“Don’
tcar
e.WhoknowswhenI
’
llseey
ouagai
n”

*
***
**
Unedi
ted.I
'
mver
ysl
eepybutdocomment
.
THI
RTY-
NINE

MPHO

Myhead’ sheav i
nessi sthef ir
stthingIf eelwhenIl i
ft
i
tup.Iopenmyey esandscanmysur r
oundi ngs,
wher eam I ?Istretch,feeli
ngmymuscl el oosen.I
needamassage.Icanf eelknotsal l
ov er.The
bitt
ernessi nmymout halertsmeIhadonet oomany .
I’
m notmuchofadr inkersoi tmusthav ebeenTr i
xy.
She’llgetusi ntroubleoneoft heseday s.Isi tupand
trytor egainsomememor y.Irememberbei ngat
homeandt hat’
si t
.Wi t
hasi gh,Igetofft hebed.I
noticemyt oenailswhenIt ryt ofindshoes.She
didn’t
!Il ookatmynai l
sandnot icethedr ast i
c
changesshemade.Shemusthav ebeeni ncont r
ol
fortool ong.It’
snowonderI ’m wearingjustat -
shi
rt.
Isniffitandcat chhi sscent.Itjusthadt obehi m.
Idon’
tevenwanttofaceSukor i
ghtnow.What’
she
thi
nki
ngofme?I ’
m gratef
ulshedidn’
tdoany
thi
ng
wit
hhim butst
il
l.Comingherewithmakeupandal
l
i
sal
readyt
oomuch.
Ther
e’sal
i
ghtknockont
hedoort
heni
topens.Gr
eat
.
Suko:
“Goodmor
ning.Igoty
ousomebr
eakf
astand
uhm…pil
ls”
Me:
“Bor
rowmesomepant
spl
ease”
Heput
sthet
rayont
hebedsi
dedr
awerwhi
l
elooki
ng
atme.
Me:
“What
?!”
Suko:“Youknowy oudon’
thavetohide,r
ight
?I’
m
yourfr
iendandIwanttobethereforyou.You’
ve
beenagr eatsuppor
tsyst
em t
omeandIwantt obe
thatf
ory ou.Al
lowme”
Isqui
ntmyey
es.
Me:
“Whatar
eyouonabout
?”
Suko:
“Tr
ixyt
oldmeev
ery
thi
ng”
Isi
gh.
Me:
“Ev
ery
thi
ng?Whatdoy
oumeanev
ery
thi
ng?
”
Suko:
“Abouty
ourpar
ent
s”
Me:
“DamnTr
ixy
”
Shesol
dmeout .Ihat
ewhenpeopl
eknowmy
per
sonalst
uff
.It
’swheret
hej
udgmentandpi
ty
comesfr
om.
Suko:“I
tmademeabl etomakesenseofa,lotof
thi
ngs.I
’m notpity
ingyousorel
ax.Ij
ustwanty out
o
knowI’m her
ef oryouandwhenyou’r
eready,Ican
heari
tfrom you”
Me:
“Thepant
s?”
Suko:
“I’
l
lbr
ingt
hem”
Iexhalewhenthedoorshut safterhi
sexit
.He’snot
l
ookingatmeanydi ff
er entl
ywhichmakesmef eela
l
itt
lebadforhowI ’
vetreatedhim.Allhedidwast r
y
butit
’sanewy earandwhatwehadendedt woy ears
ago.Ididr
especthisrelati
onshipwit
hZitha.
Hecomesbackear li
erthanexpectedandhandsthe
sweatshortstome.Ii mmediatel
yputthem onand
si
tont hebed,grabbi
ngt het
ray.Hesitsnextt
ome,
hi
sthightouchingmine.
Me:
“Andnow?
”
Suko:
“Yourf
oodi
sget
ti
ngcal
l
ed”
Me:
“I’
dappr
eci
atesomeper
sonal
space”
Suko:“
There’
snorunningnow, nohidi
ng.Ifyou’
re
notgoi
ngtoletmein,I
’ll
forcemy sel
fin.I
t’
swhyI
l
ikeTri
xy,t
herealy
ouGr ay.Notthisupti
ghtMpho
guywho’sall
aboutputeveryonebeforehimself
”
Ifeel
insul
ted.Thef
rownonmyf
aceshowsi
t.He
putshishandonmyt hi
gh.
Suko:
“So,
you’
renotsay
ingany
thi
ngt
othat
?”
Me:
“No”
Suko:
“GoodbecauseI
’
mtaki
ngchar
ge”
Het
ri
eski
ssi
ngmebutImov
emyhead.
Me:“
You’r
enotov
erZi
tha.I
’
m notgoi
ngt
obey
our
r
ebound”
Suko:“
Youweretherebef
oreher
.Howcoul
dyou
possi
blybemyrebound?”
Me:
“NoSuko.I
t’
stoosoon”
Suko:
“Yes”
Heput sat humbonmychi nt henusesitt oswaymy
facetohim.Hel eansinagainandt histi
me, Idon’t
turn.I
tfeelsli
ket hedimensionshav echanged.If eel
vulner
ableandl ikethere’
snoescapi nghi m.He’ sin
myspace, somet hi
ngI’vetr
iedt oavoi
df ory earsbut
nowhe’ shere.He’ sinchargeandIhat et hatI’m
all
owingit.May beI ’
mjusttiredofbeingst rong.
Wepul
lapar
twhenoneoft
het
winscr
y.
Suko:
“Let
hu.He’
stheonewi
thapi
erci
ngcr
y”
Me:
“Gocheckonhi
mthendaddy
”
Hechuckl
es.
Suko:
“Cal
lmet
hatwhenI
’
m bal
l
sdeepi
nya”
Me:“That’
snotpossi
blebutwhat
ever
.Leav
esoI
caneat!
”
Suko:
“I’
m comi
ngback.
”
Heget
sof
fthebedandst
opswhenhe’
satt
hedoor
.
Suko:
“You’
remi
nenow,
it’
sof
fi
cial
”
What?Thismanwasmourni
ngoverZi
thaawhile
back.Any
way,Ir
efuset
obehisr
ebound.Besi
des,I
don’
tthi
nki
twoul
dwor
kbet
weenus.
.
KHANYI
LE

Kany
o:“
Mom t
ell
smey
ou’
reexpandi
ngt
hef
ami
l
y?”
Me:
“Yes”
Kany
o:“
How?
”
Me:
“Whatdoy
oumeanhow?
”
Kany o:“
Yousaidy ou’r
eneverhav
ingki
dswithany
otherwoman.Youal sotol
dmeaboutSedi’
seggs.Is
thi
swher ePoppycomesi n?Youwanthert
obey our
surrogate?”
Atthispoi
nt,
Iwanttohangup.Thi
sconversat
ioni
s
bori
ngmeal r
eady.Iknowwhathe’
sgoi
ngt osay
next.Heseemstothinkheknewmygir
lf
riendmore
thanme.
Me:
“She’
sagr
eedt
o”
Kany
o:“Becauseshe’sbl
indl
yinl
ovewit
hyouand
al
sohappenstobey oungandali
ttl
edumb.
”
Me:“
Ilov
eLesedi
anddoi
ngt
hisi
shonor
ingher
memory”
Kany
o:“Thesickt
hingisy
outhinki
ngit
’swhatshe’
d
want
.Lesediwoul
dwanty outogetov
erherand
moveon.She’
dwanty outoget–”
Me:“Don’t
!Don’
tyoudarestar
ttal
kingasifyou
knewhermor et
hanme.Shewasmygi r
lf
ri
end.She
wouldn’
thavefr
ozenhereggsifshedidn’
twantthi
s”
Kanyo:“
Shewasmybestf
ri
end.Shet
oldmewhat
shecoul
dn’
ttel
lyou”
Me:“Knowwhat
?Itdoesn’
tmat
terbecauseI
’
m st
il
l
doi
ngthis”
Kanyo:
“ Maybei
t’
sPoppyIneedt
otal
kto.She’
d
appr
eciatemysense”
Me:“
Stopint
erf
eri
nginmybusi
nessandf
ixt
hings
wi
thyourconf
usedbabymama!”
Ii
mmediatel
yhanguponhi
m.Thi
sisal
owbl
ow
fr
om Di
ana.
Ical
m my sel
fthencal
lPoppy
.Noonewi l
lev
er
under
standwhyIchoseher.I
nfact
,Idon’
tcare.I
t’
s
av i
deocallbecauseIdon’tt r
ustwhatshemi ghtbe
doing.She’
snotexact l
yal oyal‘gi
rl
fri
end’.She’
s
probablyal
readyfxxkdherbabydaddyi fshe’
sfound
hi
m.Herhi stor
yisn’texactlypleasantfora22y ear
ol
dbuti tsomehowst ill
feelsli
keIdon’ tknowmuch
abouther.OnethingI’m assuredofi sthatsheloves
meandwoul ddoany thi
ngf orme.
Inoti
ceherf l
ushedfaceandburstl
ip.Something
happened.Herey esarer
edbutdamn, shelooks
good.She’sbeautif
ul,
att
ract
iveandsexy.Theonly
thi
ngshehasi ncommonwi t
hLesedi i
shersli
m
bodyandt hat’
sit
.
Me:
“Hi
”
Poppy
:“Hi
your
sel
f”
Me:
“Hav
eyougot
tent
her
esul
tsy
et?
”
Poppy
:“Nobutwe’
regoi
ngt
omor
row”
Me:
“Whenar
eyoucomi
ngbackhome?
”
Poppy
:“I
’
mleav
ingr
ightaf
ter
.”
Me:
“Goodbecausewest
il
lhav
etoseet
hedoct
or”
Shesi
ghs.
Poppy
:“Wil
l t
herebeacontract
?Youseem t
owant
todoever
ythingbythebook”
Me:“Yesbuti
twon’
tbeext
reme,
consi
der
ingwe’
l
l
r
aisethebabyt
oget
her
”
Poppy
:“I
t’
sapi
tyi
twon’
tbebi
ologi
cal
l
ymi
ne.
”
Me:
“Youcan’
tbet
hinki
ngl
i
ket
hat
”
Poppy
:“YoumeanIcan’
tber
eal
i
sti
c?”
Isi
gh.
Me: “
Nobaby.Lesedii
sn’thereandrememberyou’
re
theonewho’sgoingtocarrythebabyandbondwit
h
him/her
.I’
l
lbethereever
yst epofthewaybaby,
holdi
ngyourhand”
Poppy:“I
t’
ssti
llnotthesame.Thatbabywon’tbe
rel
atedtoGigi
butjustyourki
ds.Infact
,thi
swhole
sit
uati
ononlyfavorsyou”
Me:“
Youdon’twanttodothi
sforme?HowcanI
makeitf
avor
ableforyou?Howmuchdoyouwant
?”
Poppy
:“Excuseme?
”
Me:
“Anyamount
”
Shesni
cker
s.
Poppy
:“That
’swhaty
out
hinkofme?
”
Me:
“What
?”
Poppy:“
ThatI’
m al
laboutt
hemoneyandwoulddo
anyt
hingfori
t?I
sthathowlowy
outhinkofme?”
Me:“No,ofcour
senot
.I’
mjustof
fer
ingi
ncasey
ou
needthecomfort
”
Poppy
:“Li
keI’
dsaynotoy ou.I
’
llcar
ryt
hebabybut
onmyownt er
ms.I’
l
ltel
lyouwhenIgetther
e”
Me:
“Whathappenedt
oyourmout
h?”
Shecl
ear
shert
hroat
.
Poppy
:“Ihadabi
ttoomucht
odr
ink”
Me:
“Wer
eyoucheat
ingonme?
”
Poppy
:“No”
That
’say
es.
Me:
“Wasi
tbot
hoft
hem?
”
Poppy
:“Idi
dn’
tcheat
”
Iscof
f.
Me:
“Li
keI
’
m bl
i
nd.Letmeseey
ourneck”
Poppy
:“No!Iuhm…hav
etogo”
Me:
“Ty
pical
.Your
eal
l
yneedt
ogr
owup”
Sher
oll
sherey
esandhangsup.
I
t’
salwaysgoi ngt ohurtknowingshe’sgi vi
ngot her
menaccesst owhat ’ssupposet obemi ne.I
’m not
havi
ngsexwi thanyot herwoman, notthatIcan.
She’
sthefir
staf terSedi anddefi
nitel
ymi ghtbet he
l
ast.Ev
eryti
me, Ihavetoi magineSedi j
ustsoit
doesn’
tfeell
ikeI’m betrayingher
.
.
MPHO

Me:
“Ishoul
dgo”
Heshakeshi
shead.
Me:
“Ican’
tbeher
efor
ever
”
Suko:
“Iwantyouher
e.Don’tyouseehowLet
huand
Li
hlel
ikehav
ingyouaround?”
Me:
“You’
reusi
ngt
heki
ds,
real
l
y?”
Suko:
“Justl
ookatt
hem”
Me:“
Ineedtogototheof
fi
ce,
cat
chuponwor
kI’
ve
mi
ssed.Ican’
taf
for
dtosl
ack”
Suko:
“Youact
ual
l
ycanbuty
ouwoul
dn’
t”
Me:
“It
’sweir
dthatyourmot
herhasn’
tcomei
nthe
t
woday st
hatI’
vebeenher
e”
Suko:
“It
oldhernott
o.”
Me:
“Oh”
Suko:
“Whenar
ewehav
ingsex?
”
Me:
“We’
vej
ustgott
oget
her
”
I
tfeel
swei
rdev
ensay
ingt
hat
.
Me:“Somethi
ngt
hatwoul
dn’
thav
ehappenedi
fZi
tha
hadn’
tlef
t”
Suko:“Zi
thawouldn’thavebeenther
eify
ouhadn’
t
pl
ayedhar dt
ogetbackt hen,hadmebeggingy
ou
unti
lIgaveup.I
t’
sy ourfaul
t”
Me:
“If
eel
li
kesecondchoi
ce”
Suko:
“Al
lony
ou”
Me:
“That
’snotr
eassur
ing”
Suko:“Wecandebateaboutthi
salldaybuti
twon’t
changethepast.I
’
dratherwefocusonthepresent
,
l
ookf or
wardtothefut
ureandthatyoustopl
ooking
back.Thi
sisthenowwher eyou’
remine”
Me:“Bei
ngafat
herhaschangedy
ou.You’
reno
l
ongersoft
”
Suko:
“I’
m al
mostt
hir
ty.
”
Heshr
ugs.
Me:
“Damn,
you’
reget
ti
ngol
d”
Suko:
“You’
resi
xyear
sawayf
rom f
ort
y”
Il
augh.
Me:
“Idon’
thav
eapr
obl
em wi
thagi
ng”
Suko:
“Met
oo.So,
thesex?
”
Me:“Notyet
.Thi
ngsar
edi
ff
erentnow,
Ihav
etoget
usedtothi
s”
Suko:
“Fi
ne.Youcangobutpl
easecomeback.We
l
ovehav
ingy
ouar
ound”
Me:
“Iwi
l
l.
”
Suko:
“Ki
ss?
”
Me:
“You’
recl
i
ngyal
ready
?”
Suko:
“Yep”
Ichuckleandkisshislipst
hent heboy s.I
t’
sgoingt
o
takemeawhi l
etobelievethi
sishappeni ng.I
’m
mor eshockedatthefactthatI’
m allowingit
.Tri
xy
didn’
tonlymakemev ulner
ablebutshemademe
giveintooeasy.Ihateherforthis.

*
***
**
*
Unedi
ted
FORTY

POPPY

I’
m backatthisplace.ImissedGi giandRumi who’
v e
beenshower i
ngmewi thl
ov esinceIar r
ived.I
’
v e
switchedmyphoneof f
,noty etreadytoseeKhany i.I
hatethathe’
sstressingmel ikethis.Ineedtogot o
thesalonandseehowt hi
ngsar et hengocheckon
Sukoandt hetwins.I’
ll
probablyseehi mt omorrow.
Rumi
:“So,
whenar
ewemeet
inghi
m?”
Me:
“Thi
sweekend.Hewant
stomeetGi
gi”
Rumi
:“Gr
eat
.”
Me:
“Whyar
eyousoexci
ted?
”
Rumi
:“I
t’
sGi
gi’
sdad.Iwantt
oconcl
udewhaty
our
ty
pei
s”
Il
augh.
Me:
“St
ayawayf
rom mybusi
ness”
Rumi
:“Notmyf
aul
tit
’ssoj
uicy
”
Thenshel
aughs.
Me:“I
’m goi
ngtothesal
ont
henI’
ll
goseeSuko.Ar
e
youguysgoingtobeOKonyourownoryouwantt
o
comewithme? ”
.
Rumi
:“We’
l
lgowi
thy
ou.Ineedt
odomynai
l
s”
Me:
“Younev
erbookappoi
ntment
s”
Rumi
:“Per
ksofhav
ingy
ouasmysi
ster
”
Me:
“If
eel
used”
Rumi:“
I’
m mor
eli
kecashi
ngi
nont
hebl
oodl
i
ne.
Let
’sgo”
Gi
gihopsontomybackandweleave.Thepai
rgeti
n
t
hebackseatwhi
l
eItakethedr
iver
s.
Kiarahasbeent aki
nggoodcar eofthesal
on.I
’mt
he
onewho’ sresponsibl
eforouronl
inestor
eand
maki ngsurethatcustomersgett
heirdel
iv
eri
es
withi
nr easonabl
etime.
Ki
ara:
“Shuuu,
gir
l.You’
ref
inal
l
yher
e”
Me:
“Hey
”
Kiar
a:“Igotacal
lfr
om awomanwhoownsachai n
ofspasandsalonsaroundt
hecount
ry.Shewant
sto
expandherbouti
quebysell
i
ngwigsfr
om us”
Me:
“What
?”
Kiar
a:“
Shewantsustobehersuppl
i
erandi
swi
l
li
ng
topayusdoubl
ethewigswort
h”
Me:
“That
’sgoodbutwhy
?”
Kiar
a:“She’sseenouronl
inest
oreandi sver
y
i
mpr essed.ThismeansI’
llber
elocat
ingtoSandt
on
torunthingsfr
om thatsi
de”
Me:
“It
houghtwe’
rej
ustsuppl
i
ers”
Ki
ara:“
Hertopnotchcli
entswil
lneedi
nstall
ati
ons.
We’r
etalki
nghighpayerswit
hmeansmor emoney.
Fr
om celebr
it
ies,
social
it
esandinfl
uencers.Thi
sis
anamazingopportuni
ty”
Me:
“Iti
s.Whenar
ewemeet
ingwi
thher
?”
Kiar
a:“She’
l
lbef l
yi
ngherenextweek.I
’
m hoping
you’
llbeabl
et oconvi
nceKhanyit
obeourlegal
repr
esentat
ive”
Me:
“Sur
ethi
ng.
”
Tsebo:“Yoursi
steri
staki
ngadv
antageofmysof
t
spotforyou.Shecan’
tcomehereanyti
meandski
p
thequeue”
Me:
“Heybabe”
Her
oll
shi
sey
esandhugsme.
Tsebo:
“How’
rey
oudol
l
?”
Me:
“I’
m good,
thanky
ou.How’
rey
ou?
”
Tsebo:
“Exhaust
ed.Ican’
twai
tfort
hisweekt
oend”
Me:
“ShameandI
’
m sor
ryaboutRumi
”
Tsebo:
“I’
m goi
ngt
osnaponeoft
heseday
s.”
Weboughtabi ggerstor
e.Itf
eelsni
cetogof r
om
rent
ingtobuying.Ididn’
texpectustobethi
s
successf
ul.Thewor kwe’veputinpastyear
sReall
y
camet hr
oughf orus.
WhenRumihasdonehernai
l
sandI
’
vewashedmy
hai
r,wel
eav
e.
Ipar
knexttoMpho’ scar.IhopeI’
m notdi
sturbi
ng.
Onecannev erknowwiththesetwo.Gigii
sobv i
ousl
y
exci
tedbecausehe’sl
ookingforwardtoseeingthe
twi
ns.Iknockfi
rstandgetinwhenwe’real
l
owed.
They’
recuddl
ingont hecouch.Mpho’
stopl
essand
hashisheadont hi
sone’schest
.
Me:
“Thi
siscozy
”
Rumi
:“Ver
ycozy
”
Gi
gi:
“Hi
Soso.Wher
ear
ethey
?”
Sukochuckl
es.
Suko:
“Thenur
ser
ybutdon’
tmakenoi
se.They
’re
sl
eepi
ng”
Herunsthere.Wewal
ktowher
etheset
woar
eand
si
tnextt
ot hem.
Suko:
“YesPoppy
.It
’sexact
lywhaty
out
hink”
Icl
ap.
Me:
“Iknewi
tbutIhat
ethati
ttookt
hisl
ong”
Suko:
“Goodt
hingsdon’
tcomeeasy
”
Rumi
:“Andt
henai
l
sMpho?
”
Shet
akeshi
shand.I
’m onl
ynot
ici
ngnowt
hathe
hast
hem l
ongacr
yli
cs.
Mpho:
“Longst
ory
”
Rumi:“They
’regoodpl
usy ouhav
esuchbeaut
if
ul
hands.Doyoucrossdress?”
Suko:“
You’r
easki
ngal
otofquest
ions.Leav
emy
babealone”
Rumi:
“ Nextt
imeweshouldgotogether
.It
’sal
ways
nudeformebutthi
sombr epi
nklooksgoodony ou.
Maybey oucanhel
psuggestsomecolors?”
Me:
“GocheckonGi
gisot
headul
tscant
alk”
Shelet
’sgoofMpho’
shandwit
haneyer
ollt
hen
l
eaves.If
eell
ikeI
’
minthedar
kaboutal
otofthi
ngs.
Mpho:
“Hef
orcedmei
ntot
his”
Me:“Itwasaboutdamnti
meeventhoughy’
al
lar
e
happeningwhenI’
vegi
venuponyou.Anyway
,Mpho.
What’sup?”
Suko:“Don’
t.Thi
siswhoheisandhedoesn’
towe
anyoneanswers.I
’mtheonewhoencour
agedhimto
keepthem.Hewant edt
ogetri
dofthem”
Me:
“I’
m notj
udgi
nghi
m”
Suko:
“Youal
sodon’
tneedt
ounder
standany
thi
ng”
Me: “
Thi
sismeSuko.I ’
mt helastpersonwho’ deven
j
udgesomeone.Heck, myt r
ackrecordcannev er
all
owmet o.Igetthaty
ou’reoverpr
otect i
veov erhim
butyoudon’thavetoprot
ecthim againstme.Does
thi
shaveany t
hingtodowithyoursecr etcloset?”
Mpho:
“Howdi
dyouknowaboutt
hat
?”
Ishr
ug.
Me:
“Iwascur
iousandsnooped.I
’
m sor
ry”
Suko:
“DamnPoppy
”
Me:“
Itgotbor
ingatt
hehouseandwel
l,
IguessI
want
edtoknowev er
ycor
ner.Ar
eyouTri
xy?
”
Mpho:
“Yes”
Me: “I
’
dnev erjudgeyouandSuko, you’
reright
.He
doesn’tneedtoexplainhi
mself.Iwantedt ocheck
ony ouandI ’
m gladyou’
rewell
.Mpho, pleasedri
ve
thosetwot omyhouseaf ter
.I’
ml eavi
ng”
Igetwhat’
smineandleave.Ifeell
ikeshit
.It
’smore
becauseSukofel
thehadtobedef ensi
veagainstme.
ButIguesshe’
stoooverprot
ectiv
eov erhis
boy
fri
end.
.
SUKOLUHLE

Mpho: “
Youhurther.Ihaveamouthyouknowand
I
’m notthi
s…gl
asst hatyouneedtopr
otect
.Idon’
t
wantpeoplewalki
ngov ereggshel
l
saroundme”
Me:“Youfor
gotthepar
twher
eshesnooped.She
i
nvadedyourpr
ivacy
”
Mpho: “
She’sal
soy ourbestfri
endandhasbeenfor
years.Poppykeptqui etaboutwhatshesaw
becausesher espectsme.Sheaskednowbecause
ofthenai l
s,whi
chact uall
ymakessense.Sheused
theoppor t
unit
ytomakesenseofwhatshesaw
yearsback.Whywoul dyouHenk
ekmj hej
kueheheej
keheht hinkshewantstohar
m
me? ”
Me:
“Iwaswr
ong.I
’
m sor
ry”
Mpho:
“You’
reapol
ogi
zi
ngt
othewr
ongper
son”
Me:
“Real
l
ybabe?
”
Mpho:“No.YouweremeanandI’
m sorr
ybutshe
meansal ott
ome.Idon’
twantherhur
t.She’
sa
goodpersonanddoIneedt
oremindyouwhatshe’
s
doneforyou?”
Me:“I
’l
lmakei
tuptoher
.I’
l
lapol
ogi
zeandmay
be
buyhersomet
hing”
Mpho:
“Good.I
’
m hungr
ythough”
Me:
“Thoset
wopr
obabl
yar
etoo.I
’
llgocook”
Iki
sshim br
ief
lyt
hengetup.Thet
wocome,
fol
l
owingeachother
.
Rumi
:“Wher
e’sPoppy
?”
Me:
“Shel
eft
”
Rumi
:“Butwhy
?Whydi
dshel
eav
eus?
”
Mpho:
“I’
l
ltakey
ouhome.
”
Rumi
:“Wei
rdbutOK.
”
Iremini
sceonourconver
sationandreal
izehow
defensi
veIwas.Ther
ewasnoneedf ormet obe.On
topofthat
,Ihur
tmybestf r
iendoversomethingthat
couldhavebeenavoi
ded.Shedidn’
tdeservetobe
tr
eatedli
kethat.Shecamet oseemeandal lIdi
dis
hurther
.She’sbeengreatsupportsi
ncethegetgo.
Howcoul dIdomydayonel i
kethatthough?I
’m
ashamedatmy self.
Mpho:
“Babe,
wedon’
twantbur
ntf
ood.Focus!
”
Me:
“Shoul
dIl
eav
ethi
stoy
ou?
”
Mpho:“Thi
siswhyIhav
eachef
.Theyhav
eno
comebacks”
Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“Shame”
Weeataroundt
hedi
ningt
abl
e,af
terwhi
chMpho
dr
ivest
hetwohome.
Ical
lPoppy,hopi
ngshe’snottoomadt
hatshewon’
t
answer.Thankf
ull
y,shedoes.
Poppy
:“WhatSuko?
”
Me:
“Iwasaj
erk,
I’
m sor
ry”
Shescof
fs.
Poppy
:“Aj
erk?That
’sput
ti
ngi
tmi
l
dly
”
Me:“IknowandIshouldn’
thaveactedlikethat.
Therewasnoneedf ormet obethatdefensive.I
t’
s
j
ust…he’sbeenthr
oughal otandalwaysfeltthe
needtoputever
yonebeforehimself
.Ijustdidn’t
wanthimtocrawlbackthere”
Poppy:“I’
dnevercausehimto.I
’
m di
sappoi
ntedand
hurtbecauseIthoughty
ouknowme.Ididn’
tthi
nk
you’devertr
eatmel i
kethat
”
Me:
“Ishoul
dhav
enot
.I’
m sor
ry.Canwedol
unch
t
omorrow?”
Poppy
:“Thet
winsar
esti
ll
tooy oung.Justsendme
somecashsoIcant
akemy selfout,seei
ngthaty
ou
wantt
obuymyapology
.I’
llsendy oupict
ures”
Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“NowIf
eel
bad”
Poppy
:“Youshoul
d.I
magi
nehowIf
elt
”
Me:“
Fai
renough.I
’
llsendyousomet
hingt
hen,
even
t
houghIknowyoudon’tneedi
t”
Poppy
:“I
fonl
yyouknew”
Me:
“What
’st
hatsupposet
omean?
”
Shesi
ghs.
Poppy:
“Not
hingy
oushoul
dwor
ryabout
.Ihav
etogo,
bye”
Me:
“Il
ovey
ou”
Buti
t’
stool
atebecauseshe’
shungupal
ready
.I’
m
j
ustgl
adwe’r
egood.
.
POPPY

He’shere.He’sthereasonIabr
uptl
yhunguponmy
bestfr
iend.IthoughtI’
llgot
ohimtomorrow,not
now.Idon’tthinkI
’mr eadyf
ort
hisconversat
ion.
Me:
“Hi
”
Khany
i:“
Iwasexpect
ingy
ou.It
houghty
ou’
dar
ri
ve
atmyhouse”
Me:
“Imi
ssedGi
giandRumi
”
Khanyi
:“Youar
ri
vedear
ly,
evenhadt
imet
odoy
our
hai
r”
Me:
“I’
m sor
ry”
Khany
i:“
Comegi
vemeahug”
Heopenshisarmswhi chIwalki
nto.He’
sbeen
st
andingbythedoor.Hesqueezesmeandt he
warmthwrapsaroundme, somethi
ngsimil
art
olov
e.
Ir
eall
yhavefeel
ingsforhi
m.
Me:
“Ineedy
out
otr
ansf
erR200000t
ome”
Hebreakst
heembraceandl
ooksatmewi
tha
wr
inkl
edfor
ehead.
Khany
i:“
Whatdoy
ouneedt
hatmoneyf
or?
”.
Me:“Youwantmet
obey
oursur
rogat
e,don’
tyou?
Thendoit
”
Hesi
ghs.
Khany
i:“
Fine.We’
reconsul
ti
ngt
omor
row”
Me:
“Cool
”
Khany
i:“
Wheni
sGi
gimeet
inghi
sfat
her
?”
Me:
“Soon,
thi
sweekend”
Khany
i:“
Don’
tsl
eepwi
thhi
m”
Me:
“Real
l
ynow?
”
Khanyi
:“Imeani
tPoppy
.Don’t
.Areyouevenusi
ng
pr
otect
ion?Youcoul
dbepregnantnow”
Me:
“Ikeepi
tsaf
e,al
way
s.Youshoul
dknowt
hat
”
Khany
i:“
We’
l
ltest
.Ihav
etogonow”
Me:
“By
e”
Isi
ghafterheleaves.I
tsucksthatI
’
m prohi
bit
ed
fr
om tal
kingtoanyoneaboutourrel
ati
onshi
p
becauseofthenondiscl
osure.NowIhavetokeepi
t
i
nandt akeitl
ikeadamnwoman.Ij usthopeIdon’
t
bust.

*
***
***
Unedi
ted.Dr
opacomment
.
SEASONFI
NALE

FORTY-
ONE

POPPY

He’stransf
err
edt hemoneyj ustl
ikethat.Well,
Ihave
abankaccountt hat’sobviouslynotinmynamebut
fraudiseasyinthiscorruptcountry.Alotis
happeningtoday.First
,it
’sAJof fi
cial
lymeetingGigi
thenthemeet i
ngKi araandIhav e.
I
’vealr
eadymetwi ththedoctorwho’l
ldotheIVFand
donethenecessarytests.I
t’
sascaryprocesstobe
honest.I’
dhaveprefer
redgetti
ngpregnantthe
natur
al way,
notthis.
There’
sonl
yonepersonwhoopensmydoorwi
thout
knocki
ngandthat
’sRumi
.
Rumi
:“Youhav
eaguest
”
Me:
“Ij
ustwokeup”
Rumi
:“Di
dn’
tyouheart
heknocki
ng?
”
Me:
“No”
Iyawn.Ihardl
ysl eptl
astni
ght,havi
ngalotof
thoughtsbr
ewingi nmymi nd.Itr
iedsl
appingmy
sel
f,
try
ingtounderstandwhatthehellisl
ett
ingmego
throughwit
hthis.
Me:
“Justl
ett
hem i
nher
e”
Gi
giissti
llsnori
ngonthebed.Thi
sonecansurel
y
sl
eep.Igetsurpri
sedtof
indKhanyi
’sl
i
ttl
ebr
other
.
What’
shedoi nghere?
Kany
o:“
HI,
canwet
alk?
”
Me:
“I’
l
ljustgowashmyf
acef
ir
st”
Heh,
whatifIsleptnaked?Thi
sisqui
teasurpri
seto
meandIcan’thelpbutwonderwhatbri
ngshim her
e.
He’
sst
il
lst
andi
ngwher
eIl
efthi
m whenIgetback
i
ntomybedr
oom.
Me:
“Wecansi
t”
Ipoi
ntatt
hecouchwher
ewesi
tnextt
oeachot
her
.
It
’satwo-
seat
er.
Me:
“What
’sup?
”
Kanyo:“I
t’
saboutthesur r
ogacy.Itri
edtalkingto
Khanyibuthe’
snotli
stening.Thisisallr
idiculous.
How’sLesedisupposedt orestinpeacewhenhe’ s
hol
dingontoherli
kethis?Shedonat edthoseeggs
toanywomanwho’ dwantababyandcan’ tconceive,
notsoKhany i
candot his.He’sgoingtoleav eyou
aft
erthi
s”
Me:
“Whyar
eyoubet
ray
ingy
ourbr
otherl
i
ket
his?
”
Kany
o:“
Becausewhathe’
sdoi
ngi
swr
ongandsi
ck”
Me:“
Youmustcareaboutt
hisLesedi
womanas
muchashedoes.
”
Kanyo:“Shewasmyf ri
end.Unli
keKhany i
,I
’v
e
acceptedthatshe’
snomor eandisnevercoming
back.List
entomePoppy ,youcan’
tdot hi
s”
Me:“AndwhatdoyousupposeIdo?ThatIshoul
d
sayno?We’
vealr
eadydonetest
sandI’vesi
gnedthe
cont
ract
”
Kany
o:“
Youdi
dwhat
?!Ar
eyoucr
azy
?”
Me:
“It
hinkIl
ovehi
m”
Kanyo:“
Heonlywant stouseyouPoppyandyou
knowwhy ?Becauseyou’r
eyoungandnaïv
e.Whydo
youthi
nkhedidn’tgoforsomeonehi
sage?He
knowshecaneasi l
ymanipul
ateyouandit
sworked”
.
Me:
“Ar
eyoucal
l
ingmest
upi
d?”
Kany
o:“
Yes”
Theaudaci
ty,
ner
veoft
hisguy
!
Me:“
Look,
I’
m alsonotforcarr
yingababyofadead
womansoI’
mt hinki
ngoftri
cki
ngt hesy
stem”
Hef
rowns,
browsf
urr
owed.
Kany
o:“
What
?He’
l
lbet
her
ethr
oughev
erypr
ocess”
Me:
“Yesbuthowwi
l
lheknowi
tshereggs?
”
Kany
o:“
Youwantt
oswi
tcht
hem?
”
Me:
“Onl
ytheonewhi
chwi
l
lbeusedf
ort
heI
VF”
Kany
o:“
Howar
eyoupl
anni
ngt
odot
hat
?”
Isi
ghwi
thashr
ug.
Me:“Ihav
enoi dea.I’
mthinki
ngofbr
ibi
ngsomeone
butt
hen,ther
e’salsosur
gerytot
akesomeofmine
thenmakingt
heswi
tch.I
thast
obeamedi
cal
person,
someonewho…”
ThenIr ememberhim.Ofcoursehe’
sanexdoctor
andcanpr obabl
ymakethi
shappenforme.Pl
ushe
hasinfluenceandisper
suasi
ve.He’
stheper
fect
candidate.
Kany
o:“
Ilosty
out
her
e”
Me: “
Look,Ihav
eapl anbutithastostaybet
ween
us.Khanyi
andy ourmothercannotfi
ndoutabout
thi
s”
Kanyo:
“Aslongasy
ou’renothav
ingLesedi
’
sbaby
.
Wil
lyouneedmoney?”
Me:
“No”
Kany
o:“
OK.Takemynumberandkeepmei
nthe
l
oop”
Me:
“That
’scool
.”
Kany
o:“
Youar
en’
tdumbaf
teral
l
”
Iscof
f.
Me:
“May
benot
”
.
SUKOLUHLE

It
’sthefir
stti
meI ’
m outoft hehousewi t
hthetwins.
We’regoingtoMpho’ splace.He’sinvi
tedCainwho’s
withNosi andtheirchi l
dsoi t’
sgoingtobe
i
nteresti
ng.Ihaven’tseenhersi ncePoppy ’
spart
y
twoy earsago.I’
vehi redacabf orus.Maybeit’
s
ti
meIboughtmy selfacar .Idon’twanttogetiton
creditt
houghsoI ’
dr atherkeeponsav ing.
Hemeetsusatthedoorjustwhenwegetout.
They
’rei
nthei
rcarseat
s.Hehelpsmewiththem.
Mpho:
“Icoul
dhav
ecomegety
ou”
Me:
“Bet
hehost
,woul
dyoube?
”
Mpho:“St
il
lasst
ubbor
n.I
’v
einv
itedKhany
iandhi
s
ki
ds,Poppywon’
tbeabl
etomakeit”
Me:
“Ar
en’
ttheyacoupl
e?”
Mpho:
“West
ayawayf
rom peopl
e’
sbusi
nessbabe”
Me:
“Justaski
ng.Hemi
ghtt
hinkhe’
shol
dinga
candl
eorsomet
hing”
Mpho:“
Hewouldn’thav
eagr
eedi
fhehadsuch
t
hought
sinhi
smi nd”
Me:
“Ify
ousayso”
Mpho:
“Let
’sj
ustgoi
n”
Ikeepitshutandwedo.They ’r
eallchil
l
inginthe
l
ivi
ngroom.Igr eetandsitdown,putt
ingthetwinson
thefl
oorinthei
rcarseats.
Nosi
:“They
’rebeaut
if
ul”
Cai
n:“
Theyar
e.Oar
otamf
ana”
Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“ThanksIguess”
Cai
n:“
Whowoul
dhav
ethought
”
Mpho:
“Don’
tst
artwi
thy
ournonsense”
Cai
n:“
He’
sjustt
oosof
t,y
ouknowi
ttoo”
Me:
“AndI
’
m st
il
lher
e”
Cai
n:“I
’
m awar
e.I
’
mjustst
ati
ngt
hati
t’
shar
dto
i
magineyouwi
thawoman”
Nosi
:“Idi
sagr
ee.Iact
ual
l
ythoughthe’
sst
rai
ght
”
Me:“Iseey
ou’v
egainedwei
ghtnow.Hemustbe
t
reat
ingyougood”
Cai
n:“
Shedoesn’tli
kewhensomeonepoint
sthat
out
,st
il
lalit
tl
einsecur
eaboutit
.It
hinkt
heext
ra
wei
ghtlooksgoodonherthough”
Nosi r
oll
shereyesbutIdon’
tmissherrosycheeks.
She’sgainedsomecomplexi
ontoo,aresul
tofglow
thatcomesf r
om happi
nessandcontent
ment.
Me:
“Wher
e’sy
ourdaught
er?I
’
dli
ket
oseeher
”
Nosi
:“She’
swit
hKhany
iandhiski
dsatt
heback.I
t
houghtPoppywoul
dbehere”
Me:
“You’
renotf
ri
ends”
Nosi
:“Wel
l
,I’
m gl
adshei
sn’
t.Ican’
thav
eonemor
e
per
soncal
li
ngoutmywei
ght”
Cai
n:“
Youcan’
thonest
lyst
il
lhav
eapr
obl
em wi
th
her
”
Nosi
:“Baby
,no”
Ichuckl
e,i
sshef
orr
eal
?
I
t’sachi
l
ledvi
bewit
hmost l
yfather
s.Nosishoul
dn’t
real
l
yhavecomebutIguessthere’
snowhereCain
goeswit
houther
.
.
POPPY

We’r
emeet ingathi
shotel
.It
’swherewe’ll
have
l
unch.Gigiseemsexcit
edtobemeet inghi
sfat
her
whil
eI’
mj ustnumb.I’
m happyformysonbutthis
Khanyi
thingishangi
nginmymi nd.
Weknockwhenwear
ri
veout
sidehi
shot
elsui
te.
Inst
eadofhim openi
ng,i
t’
sthegirl
fr
iend.She’
snot
evenlooki
ngatmebutatGi giwho’
sl ooki
ngri
ght
backather.Icl
earmythroat.
Me:
“Ist
hisAJ’
sroom?
”
Shedoesn’
tsayanyt
hingbutstepsasi
deandweget
i
n.Itf
eel
sli
kewe’rei
nv adi
ngthi
sspace.
Me:
“Wher
eishe?
”
Snazo:
“He’
scomi
ng.Woul
dyoul
i
keany
thi
ngt
o
dr
ink?
”
Me:
“No,
justananswer
.Whyar
eyouher
e?”
Shescof
fs.
Snazo:
“Your
eal
l
ywanty
oursont
oheart
his?
”
Me:
“I’
m notgoi
ngt
ojumpaty
ourdamnman”
Snazo:“I
t’
shi
mI’
m worr
iedabout.Het
oldmewhat
happenedbet
weeny’
al
lli
kether
e’snot
hingwr
ong
wit
hit.
”
Me:
“When’
shecomi
ngback?
”
Snazo:
“AJ!
”
Hecomesami nut
elater
,wi
pinghi
seyes.Di
dhe
for
getI’
m comi
nghere?Hel
ooksatusthenrubshi
s
eyesagai
n.
AJ:
“Ni
a,whendi
dyougether
e?”
Me:“Justdi
d.Pl
easegoputashi
rtandsomepant
s
on”
Heonl
yhashi
sboxer
son.
AJ:
“I’
l
lshowerqui
ckl
y”
Me:
“Youal
sohav
etoexpl
aint
hegi
rl
fr
iend”
Snazo:
“Don’
tst
artwi
thmegi
rl
”
Ir
oll
myey
es.
He’
sbacki
nthi
rt
yminutes,
wit
hGi
gist
il
lonmyl
ap.
We’
dsatdownandwait
ed.
AJ:
“Let
’sgot
oSt
eer
satt
hemal
l
”
Me:
“Fi
ne”
AJ:
“Di
dyout
ell
him?
”
Me:
“Yes”
AJ:
“Hi
boy
”
Gi
gi:
“Ar
eyoumyf
ather
?”
AJ:
“Yes”
Hehugshi
slegsaf
ter
.AJl
ooksatmeandsmi
l
es,
mouthi
ngathanky
ou.
Wegett
otal
kaf
terhav
ingr
ecei
vedouror
der
s.
Me:
“So,
youhav
eabody
guar
dnow?
”
AJ:“
She’
sbeenalit
tl
ecli
ngyl
atel
y.Ijust
…Ican’
t
bel
i
evether
e’saboythat
’smi
neinfrontofme”
Me:
“Yes.I
t’
ssuperv
isedvi
sit
sfornowbutwhenhe’
s
mor
ecomfortabl
earoundyou,I
’
llnol
ongerbet
her
e”
Henods.
Bytheti
mewegetbackhome, I’
m exhausted.
Kiar
a’swomancanceledt
henaskedtor eschedul
eto
nextweek.Shewantsust
ogotoheri nstead.That
’s
enoughtobuymet i
mebefor
ethesurrogacy .
Ical
lhi
m whenI’
mi nmyroom, pr
ayi
ngthathi
swi
fe
doesn’
tanswer
.Thankf
ull
y,shedoesn’
t.
Kgosi
:“Poppy
”
Me:
“Ineedy
ou”

*
***
***
***
Unedi
ted
SEASONFI
NALE
FORTY-
TWO

POPPY

We’vemetanhourawayf r
om town,havingchosena
BNBf orustobediscr
eet
.Khanyimightbewat ching
me,whoknows.Att hi
spoint
,Idon’
treall
yknow.He
cameassoonashecoul d,whichIappreci
ate
becausethisi
samat t
erofli
feanddeath.I’
vefil
led
hi
m uponwhat ’supsohe’snowjustbeenlookingat
mewi thoutaword.Hesi
ghs.
Kgosi
:“You’
reagreei
ngt
othi
smadnessbecause
you…l
ov ehi
m? ”
Me:
“Yes”
Kgosi:
“Somucht hatyou’
rebl
indedtot
hefactt
hat
he’
sstil
lver
ymuchi nlovewit
htheexandthat
you’
reapawni nhissi
ckgameofl ov
ingherwhi
le
she’
satthegrave?”
Me:
“I’
ver
ecei
vedenoughj
udgmental
ready
.Ar
eyou
goi
ngt
ohel
pornot
?”
Kgosi:“
Youknowtheanswert othatbutthi
s…this
won’tendwell
.Whathappenswhenhef i
ndsout
whatyoudid?Whatifthatchil
dcomeslookingl
ike
youorGigi
,howwill
y ouexplai
nthat?
”
Me:“
It
’sI
VF.I
’m sur
etheDNAcanbeal
ter
edsohi
s
i
sthemostdominant
,Idon’
tknow”
Kgosi:
“You’
resmar
tert
hanthis.What
’ssospecial
abouthimthaty
ou’
rewi
ll
ingtogotosuchextremes
forhi
m? ”
Me:
“I’
m nother
esoIcanbequest
ioned.
”
Kgosi
:“I
’l
lki
l
lhimifhehur
tsy
ou.Iknowhe’spl
ayi
ng
youri
ghtnowbuthe’sgoi
ngt
opay.Let
’sgo.We’r
e
usi
ngmycar ”
Me:
“Wher
ear
ewegoi
ng?
”
Kgosi:
“You’r
enotinanyposi
tiont
oquest
ionme.I
real
l
yfeell
ikeli
ter
all
yknocki
ngsomesenseint
o
you”
Me:
“Let
’sj
ustgo”
Hepul
l
smyhai
rtoodamnt
ightt
hati
tfeel
sli
kehe’
s
upr
oot
ingi
t.
Me:
“Ouch”
Kgosi
:“You’
redamnl
uckyI
’
veal
way
slov
edy
ou”
Helet
’sgothent
akesmyhandi
nst
ead.Whatt
he
hel
lwasthat?
.
KHANYI
LE

Me:“Whyarey
ouinmyhouseagai
n?Becausey
ou’
re
j
ustannoy
ingme”
Kanyo:
“Youcan’
tbesay
ingt
hatt
oyourown
brot
her
”
Me:
“Inmyhouse?Idamnsur
ecan”
Kanyo:“
You’r
ereal
l
ygoi
ngt
hroughwi
tht
he
sur
rogacy?
”
Ofcoursei
t’
sgoi
ngtogether
e.Fi
rst
ly,
I’
m not
payi
ngwithhi
smoneyandsecondl
y,i
t’
snoneofhi
s
busi
ness.
Me:“Youseem t
ofor
gett
hatI
’
m muchol
dert
han
you”
Kany
o:“
Shedoesn’
tdeser
vey
ou”
Me:
“Don’
tev
ent
hinkabouti
t!
”
Hechuckl
es.
Kany
o:“
Thi
nkaboutwhat
?”
Me:
“Icanseei
tbr
ewi
ngi
nyourbr
ain.She’
smi
ne!
”
Hechuckl
es.
Kany
o:“
Your
s,huh?ThesamewayLesedi
was?
”
Me:
“We’
renotdadand
Kanyo:“Wel
l,I
’
m sti
ll
singl
eandsheistoo.I’
l
lbe
ther
ewheny outossherasi
deaf
tershegivesyou
yourbaby”
Me:
“Real
l
y?Ar
ewej
ustaboutt
odot
his?
”
Kany
o:“
I’
m bor
ed”
Heshr
ugs.
Me:“
Ist
her
ereal
l
ynohopef
ory
ouandy
ouknow
who?
”
Hechuckl
es.
Kany
o:“
I’
drat
hercont
inuebei
ngsi
ngl
e”
Hedepartsfrom me.I ’
m notstressedaboutwhathe
sai
d,nomat terhowwei rdthat’
dbe.Iknowt hekind
ofwomanPoppyi sbutIhopet hepr egnancywi l
l
changeher.Ican’thavehersleepingar oundwhile
she’
scarryi
ngmi neandLesedi ’sbaby.Ist i
l
lcan’t
bel
ievet
hisiscloset ohappening.Igoi ntomyr oom
whereIfi
ndherpor trai
t.I
tmakesmef eelsomuch
cl
osertoher.Isitandclosemyey es,i
magi ning
she’
shere.It
’sli
keIcanf eelherpresence.
Me: “We’r
ehavinganotheronesoonbaby .
Rememberwesai dwe’llhavef our
?We’ r
ejustt
wo
away .If
oundtheperfectwomant ocarrythebaby
forus.No,nobaby.Pleasedon’ tbemadatmef or
havingsexwit
hher .Ikeepitsaf eandimaginethat
i
t’syouwhenI’m withher.Itfeelsl
ikeyou.Youleft
ustoosoonbuty ou’l
lforeverbewi thme”
Iopenmyeyes.Ihaven’thear
dfrom hert
odayand
wit
hKanyohere,I
’m alit
tl
eunsettl
ed.Whatifhe
rui
nsmyplans?Ourrelati
onshi
pcanbebi t
tersweet
whichhasbeenpr ovenbytime.Wedobut theads.
Het endstot
hinkhe’solderthanmeorknowsbet t
er.
Helikeshavi
nghisnoseal lovermybusiness,
somet hi
ngwhichirr
it
atesme.I twasworsewi th…I
don’tevenwanttothinkofit.Ical
lPoppy.
Poppy
:“Babe”
Me:
“Wher
ear
eyou?
”
Poppy
:“I
’
m meet
ingupwi
thapot
ent
ial
cli
ent
.
What’
sup?”
Me:
“Whatcl
i
ent
?”
Poppy
:“Fort
hesal
on.What
’swi
tht
hequest
ions?
”
Me:“I
’mjustint
erest
edinknowi
ngwhaty
ou’
reupt
o.
You’
renotlyi
ngtome, ar
eyou?”
Shehuf
fs.
Poppy
:“Whywoul
dIl
i
e?”
Me:
“Justchecki
ng.Howdi
ditgowi
thGi
gi’
sfat
her
?”
Poppy
:“He’
shappyt
hey
’vef
inal
l
ymet
.”
Me:“
That
’sgood.I
magi nehowt
hei
rrelat
ionshi
p
woul
dbeifyou’
dli
stenedtomebackthen”
Poppy
:“Atl
eastt
hey’
vemet
.Hemanagedt
omake
hi
m abir
thcer
ti
fi
cat
e.Heev
entookhi
ssur
name”
Me:“That
’sgood.Letmenotkeepy
out
hen.Il
ove
you”
Shescof
fs.
Poppy
:“Il
ovey
out
oo”

.
POPPY

Me:
“Youst
il
lwon’
ttel
lmewher
ewe’
regoi
ng?
”
Kgosi
:“Wherear
ethedeadgi
rl
fr
iend’
seggskept?
Whichfer
ti
li
tycl
i
nicar
eyoutwogoingtousefort
he
I
VF?”
Me:
“Ithi
nkhesai
donei
nStel
l
enbosch.We’
regoi
ng
t
ospendafewdayst
her
e”
Kgosi
:“Sendmeal
lthedet
ail
snow”
It
akeoutmyphoneanddoashesay
s.
Kgosi
:“Ababycannev
erkeepamant
hough”
Me:
“I’
m nott
ryi
ngt
okeephi
m”
Kgosi
:“Don’
tyout
hinky
ou’
ret
ooy
oungt
obehav
ing
anot
herone?”
Me: “
No.I’
m wi
sernowthanIwaswhenIhadGigi
.I
rai
sedhim upt
owhereheisnowandheturnedout
good.Thi
scomingonewill
”
Kgosi
:“I
fyousayso.Ijusthopethi
sworksandt
hat
heneverfi
ndsoutaboutyourdecept
ion”
Me:“Andnokil
li
nghim,
nomat
terwhathappens.
He’
saf at
heroftwo”
Kgosi
:“Can’
tpr
omi
set
hat
”
I
’
m di
smi
ssedj
ustl
i
ket
hat
.
Af
ewhour
slat
er,
we’
vear
ri
vedatourdest
inat
ion.
Kgosi:
“Thishastobedoneatyourf
ert
il
it
ycl
i
nicand
nothere.I
’
llgety
oualaptopsowecanknowwhat
exact
lyarewedeali
ngwith”
Me:
“Youwantmet
ohackt
hei
rsy
stem?
”
Kgosi
:“Ar
eyoubyanychancepsy
chi
c?+”
Ir
oll
myey
es.
Kgosi
:“Wehavetoperformthesurgeryther
et hen
swapthem wi
ththeeggsduet obeusedf ortheIVF.
Thi
salsomeanswehav et
oknowt hespeci
ali
st
who’l
lbedoi
ngtheIVFandt hei
rweaknesses.That’s
i
nthecasethatt
heycan’tbebribed”
Me:“Thi
sismaki
ngmedi
zzy
.Howmuchwi
l
lal
lof
t
hiscost
?”
Kgosi:“
Alotbutit
’snot
hingy oushoul
dworryabout
fornow.Thisfav
ordoesn’tcomef orf
reet
houghso
you’r
egoingtooweme”
Me:
“Icanpayf
ori
t.Thatway
,I’
mlower
ingmydebt
”
Kgosi:
“Ihav
emorethanenoughmoney ,
don’
tworr
y.
I’
m doi
ngthi
sbecauseIhatet
hatyou’
regoi
ngto
suchextr
emestomakeDl ami
nihappy
”
Iscof
f.
Me:
“Fi
ne.Justbr
ingt
hel
apt
op”
Isitdown.We’ reinhi
soffi
ceIassume.Ihav
en’
tmet
hisoldfriendyet.Thi
sseemsli
kesomel abor
war ehouse,notsure.
.
SUKOLUHLE

Mom i shere,whom Ihav

en’tseeninages.I
’
m even
surpri
sedthatshe’scometocheckonus.She’snot
alonebutwi t
hZeldawho’sbeengushingovert
he
twins.She’
snotev enpayi
ngattent
iontousorour
conversati
on.
Me:
“Wher
ewer
eyou?
”
Mom: “Waswit
hMosa.Youseem t
ohav
etur
ned
yourbackonher”
Isni
cker
.
Me:“Me?Defi
nit
elynotafterhowshe’st
reat
edme
andsti
l
lcont
inuesto.Idon’thavet
heenergyfor
si
bli
ngri
val
ryortocompet ewithher”
Mom:
“She’
sst
il
lbl
ood”
Me:“Li
feshowedmet hatbl
oodisn’tal
lthat.You
guyshurtmeverymuchandasmuchasIappr eci
ate
youbei
nghereforus,
pleasedon’tpushit”
Mom:“
Idon’
twantyoutohar
boranyhat
eoranger
.
I
t’
sonl
ygoi
ngtodestr
oyyou”
Me: “I’
mindifferent.I’
m happywiththecir
cleIhave
ri
ghtnow.Thesepeopl eshowedmet hatwateris
actuall
ythickert hanblood.Poppyhasbeenwi thme
throughthickandt hi
n.She’sneverswit
chedupor
gav euponme.Shesuppor t
edme, beli
evedinme
whennooneel sedi dandstil
lfor
gavemewhenI
treatedherbad. ”
Shesmi
l
es.
Mom:“It
houghtshe’
dbet
heonewhomot
her
syour
ki
ds”
Me:
“She’
smysi
ster
.I’
dnev
ercommi
tincest
”
Mom:“That
’st
her
elat
ionshi
p?Oh,
she’
srepl
aced
Mosa”
Me:“Repl
…that
’sr
idi
cul
ousmom.She’
smor
ethan
whatMosaeverwasandcoul
dev
erbe”
There’sarat
tl
ingofkey sthenthedooropens.He’
s
wearingdeni
m shor t
swi t
hanal mostcr
oppedsweat
topandmysl ides.He’scarr
yingshoppi
ngbagssoI
i
mmedi
atel
ygol
andhi
m ahand.
Mpho:“Thanksbabe.Idi
dn’
tknowy
ouhav
e
company,dumelang”
Mom:
“Hi
”
Zeldadoesn’
trepl
y.That
’showmuchshe’ s
engrossedi
nthetwins.I
tdoesn’
tbothermylov
e
though.He’
sboughtgrocer
ieswhichIhel
phim pack.
Mpho:
“Ist
her
efood?
”
Me:
“You’
rehungr
y?”
Henodswi
thabi
tt
enl
i
p.
Me:“Whydi
dn’
tyougett
akeaway
s?Youcan’
tbe
st
arv
ing”
Mpho:
“Ipr
efery
ourf
ood”
Me:
“I’
mthatgood?
”
Hechuckl
esandnods.
Mom:
“So,
you’
reof
fi
ci
alnow?Imi
ssedout
”
Me:
“Eav
esdr
oppi
ngi
srudebuty
es,
wear
e”
Zel
da:
“Isn’
theaboy
?”
Me:
“Aman.Ar
etheysl
eepi
ng?
”
Zel
da:
“Yes,
I’
ll
goputt
hem down”
Me:
“Dot
hat
”
Igettothecooki
ngnow.Heonlyassi
stswit
hthe
chopping.Heusual
l
yjustwat
chesmesot hi
sis
something.

*
***
*
Unedi
ted.
I
'm bat
tl
ingt
ouploadchapter
sonVW sot
hat
'l
lbe
del
ayedunti
ltheer
rorhasbeenf
ixed.
SEASONFI
NALE
FORTY-
THREE
*
***
POPPY

Hecomesinwithfoodanddr
inks.Hacki
ngapr
ivat
e
cl
i
nicsy
stem i
sn’tawal
kinapark.
Kgosi
:“Howf
arar
eyou?
”
Me:
“It
’spr
omi
singbutIneedabr
eak”
Ist
andupandstr
etch.I
t’
slat
enow,may
bear ound
sev
enandthi
sisthesecondti
mehe’
sgett
ingfood.
Me:
“Shoul
dn’
tyougohomet
oyourwi
feandki
ds?
”
Kgosi
:“Notbef
orey
ou’
redone”
Inod.I’mtoostressedtoaskmor e.Thedooropens,
reveal
ingalightski
nnedpeti
tey etcur
vywoman.
She’swearingallwhit
e,l
iket
hoseuni f
ormswornby
prophetswiththedoekandall.Kgosihuf
fs.
Kgosi
:“Don’
tyouknowsomet
hingcal
l
edknocki
ng?
”
Her:
“Whatdoy ouknowaboutmanner
sany
way
?
Ei
sh,whatam Iher
efor?
”
Kgosi
:“Toannoyme”
Her
:“Whydoyouli
keact
ingl
ikey
ouhatemewhen
we’
rear
oundpeopl
e?We’rel
i
kebestf
ri
ends”
Shewi
nkst
henwal
ksi
nunt
ilshe’
sst
andi
ngbef
ore
me.
Her
:“I
’
m Tshol
o.Whoar
eyou?
”
Me:
“Poppy
”
Tshol
o:“
IknowIcameher
eforsomet
hing,
justcan’
t
remember”
Kgosi
:“Gotohi
soffi
ce,you’
l
lfi
ndi
tther
e.Why
’she
evensendi
ngyououtthi
slat
e?”
Tshol
o:“
Oh,
heknowsy
ou’
reher
esoy
ou’
l
ldr
iveme
home”
Kgosi
:“Imi
ghtl
eav
elat
e.”
They’r
esocomf ort
abl
ewi t
heachother
.Youcansee
she’snotscaredofhim,notevensl
ight
ly.I
’vebeen
tr
yingtofathom thei
rrel
ati
onshi
p,t
ryi
ngt o
under
standhowtheyknoweachot
her
.She’
snothi
s
wif
e,sowhoisshe?
Tshol
o:“
Doesn’
tmat
ter
.You’
rej
ustwast
ingy
our
ti
mehere”
Me:
“What
?”
Tshol
o:“
Itwon’
twor
k”
Kgosi
:“Whyareyouher
eagai
n?Thisbar
gingint
o
peopl
e’
soffi
cethi
ngshoul
dst
op.I’
m notLeon”
Tsholo:“Hesentmet
ogethi
m somet
hing.Any
way ,
yourplanisn’
tgoi
ngt
oworksoyoumightaswell
savey ourmoney”
Me:
“Why
,whydoy
ousayt
hat
?”
Tshol
o:“
You’r
enotmeanttocar
ryhi
skids,notwhen
hi
ssoulisst
il
lti
edt
othatofhi
sdeadgir
lfr
iend.
She’
stheonl
yonehecanconceiv
ewith”
Me:
“Whyshoul
dIbel
i
evey
ou?
”
Tshol
o:“Youdon’
thav
et oAzani
abutknowthatthis
wil
lbeinvai
n.I
fyouwanttoconceiv
eandfoolhim,
you’
ll
havetousethel
it
tl
ebrother
’ssper
m.Besides,
he’
stheonemeantforyou”
Me:
“I’
m Poppy
”
Tshol
o:“
Mybad”
Kgosi
:“Shedoesn’
tseem t
oli
keheragegr
oup”
Tsholo:“
Imagi
neexesdati
ngsisters,weird.The
uni
versecanbetwist
ed.Afi
le,
y es.I’
dr eal
lysuggest
youjustl
eavet
hisandhim.Youdon’ tlovehim
anyway”
Poppy
:“Ido”
Shechuckl
es.
Tsholo:
“Noteven.Youwoul dn’tbecheati
ngonhi m
i
fyoudid.Thedayy oufal
l i
nlov e,
youwon’ teven
enter
tai
nanyotherman.You’ ll
getscared,
wonderi
ngwhatt hehel li
swr ongwi t
hy ouandwoul d
wanttorun.Theny ou’l
lmisshi m andreali
zethere’
s
nowherey ou’
dratherbet hanwi thhi
m”
Kgosi
:“Enoughwi
tht
hesoppyr
omancenow,
weget
i
t”
Tshol
o:“
Afi
l
eyes.
”
Thenshewal
ksout
.Thatwaswei
rd.
Me:
“Howdi
dsheknowmyname?
”
Kgosi
:“Thatoneknowsal
ot.So,
whatdowedo
now?”
Isi
gh.
Me:“MaybeIshoul
dtel
lhi
m Ican’
tandjustwal
k
away.Ther
e’snowayI’
l
lcar
ryhisdeadgir
lf
ri
end’
s
baby
.Ican’
t”
Kgosi
:“Seducet
hel
i
ttl
ebr
othert
hen”
Me:
“Ar
eyoucr
azy
?”
Kgosi
:“Let’
sgetoutofher
ethen.Stoptry
ingt
ohack
thesy
stem.Theball’
sinyourcourtnow.I
t’
seit
her
youstr
aightuptel
lhi
my oucan’toryougoagai
nst
youanddoi t
”
Isi
gh.
Me:
“Ar
ewel
eav
ingwi
thher
?”
Hegr
oans.
Kgosi
:“Thatheadache”
Il
augh.Yeahr
ight
.
Shecomesaf
terandweal
ll
eav
etot
hecar
.
Tshol
o:“
Thisi
swhyy oursi
sterdi
dn’
twanty
ou
thi
nki
ngyou’
rei
nlov
e”
Thisi
snowbeyondcr
eepy
.Howdoessheknow
aboutmysi
ster
?
Me:
“What
?”
Tsholo:“
Oh,
don’
tmi
ndme.Wakemeupwhenwe
ther
e!”
Me:
“No,
no.Whatdi
dyousayaboutmysi
ster
?”
Nor
epl
y.Igr
oani
nfr
ust
rat
ion.
.
SUKOLUHLE

WhoknewI ’dbet hishappyt hough.WhenZi t

haleft
,
mywhol eworldcamecr ushingdown.Icoul dbarely
holdont othisli
fet hi
nglesst hesmal l
threadwhi ch
remindedmeoft het wins.Theywer en’tabouttobe
orphanedliketheyaskedt olive.Idi
dn’
tseeMpho
andIev erhappeni ng.Iprefercall
inghi
m Gr ay
thoughorjustTri
xy.I
t’
sgreatseeinghim getoutof
hisshel
l
.Ialsoloveseeinghi
m glowl i
kethis,cocky
meknowi ngit’
sbecausehe’sbeinglovedrightby
me.
Me:
“Babe,
whenl
astdi
dyout
alkt
oyourmom?
”
Hegr oans.Yes,we’
rehavingthisconv ersat
ion.
We’ reathishousenow, chil
li
ngbyt hepool whilethe
twinsar einsi
dewithoneofhi shelpers.They ’
re
takinggoodcar eofthem.I ’
vejustremember edTri
xy
oncesai dsomet hi
ngaboutt hewomanwant ingto
arrangeamar ri
agefort
hem, worseint he21st
cent ury.
Me:
“Gr
ay?
”
Mpho:
“Notsi
nceIl
efthome”
Me: “
I’
m notpressi
ngfory
outot
ell
him aboutusbut
baby,whataboutthewhol
efi
ndi
ngyouawi fe
thi
ng?”
Mpho:
“Oh,
that
?Nothappeni
ng”
Me:
“Itwi
l
lify
oucan’
tst
andupt
oher
”
Mpho:
“I’
dfi
ghtf
orusSuko.I
…Ihav
enev
erev
erf
elt
t
hisway.Youmakemesohappyandwit
hyou,If
eel
l
ikeIcanconquert
hewor
ld.Thanky
ouf
orl
ovi
ng
me”
Heki
ssesmycheek.
Me:
“Itcomessoeasy
”
Mpho:“
I’
ll
handl
eherwhent
het
imecomes,
don’
t
wor
ry”
Me:
“Mm,
alr
ight
”
“Wher
eisshe?!
”wehearcomingf r
om thehouse.We
bot
hgettoourfeetandgocheckoutthe
commoti
on.It
’sKhanyi
le.Hemarchestous.
Khany
i:“
Wher
e’sPoppy
?”
Mpho:“You’
ret
heonedat
ingher
,howwoul
dwe
know?
”
Khanyi
:“I
’
m notaski
ngy
ouman,
I’
m aski
ngy
our
boyf
ri
end”
Me:
“Isn’
tsheatherhouse?
”
Khany
i:“
NoandIf
oundhercaratsomeBnB.
”
Me:
“Whyar
eyoul
ooki
ngf
orhert
hismuch?
”
Khanyi
:“Shel
iedaboutmeet
ingacl
ientandi
sn’
t
answer
ingherphonenow.Thisi
sn’
ttheti
meforher
tobeoutther
echeati
ngonme”
Me:“Uhm,
I’
m sor
ryman.She’
l
lcal
lyouwhenshe
can”
Khany
i:“
Sor
ryf
orj
ustbar
gingi
nher
e.I
’
lll
eav
e”
Thenhegoes.
Mpho:
“Somet
hingi
sn’
tri
ght
.He’
stoomad”
Me:“Let
’snotgeti
nvol
ved.That
’susual
l
ywhaty
ou
t
ell
me, r
ight?
”
Mpho:
“Yeahwel
l
.Ski
nnydi
ppi
ng?
”
Me:
“Thest
affi
sar
ound”
Mpho:“
Theyknowhowt
omi
ndt
hei
rownbusi
ness,
l
et’
sgo”
Het
akesmyhandandl
eadsmeout
side.
.
KHANYI
LE
I’
vebeenwai t
ingforherhereforoverthreehour s
now.Howcanshel eavethesekidsalone?I ’
m even
starti
ngt osuspectthatperhapsKanyogott oher .I
woul dn’tputi
tpastmyy oungerbrother.ThenI
rememberhowhe’ dhav estrai
ghtupt ol
dmei fhe
had.He’ snotsomeonewhocankeepsecr et
s.Her
car sroarsoutsi
de,snappingmef r
om myr aci
ng
mi nd.
Gi
gi:
“Pops!
”
Shepickshi
m uptheminuteshest
epsi
nsi
de.When
herey
esmeetmi ne,shef
rowns.
Poppy
:“Baby
,got
oRumi
.I’
l
lcomet
oyou”
Gi
gi:
“Andwepl
ay?Imi
ssedy
ou”
Poppy
:“What
every
ouwant
.Imi
ssedy
out
oo”
Sheki
sseshi
scheekt
henput
shi
m down.Her
uns
off
.
Poppy
:“Whatdoy
ouwanther
e?”
Me:
“You’
reaski
ngy
ourboy
fri
endt
hat
?”
Poppy
:“I
’
mjustsur
pri
sed”
Me:“Wherear
ey oucomingfrom Poppy
?Anddon’
t
hi
tmewi t
hthatcli
entbul
l.Ki
araknowsnot
hing
abouti
t”
Poppy
:“Di
dIsayi
thast
odowi
tht
hesal
on?
”
Me:
“You’
rel
yi
ng,
Iknowy
ouar
e.”
Poppy
:“Youcameal
lthi
swayt
oar
gue?
”
Me: “
Don’tplaydumbwi thme.We’ r
eabouttobe
pregnant,
youcan’ tbegal
li
vant
ingaroundwithot
her
men.Yes, t
heonewho’ scaryout r
avel
edin.My
guessisKgosi .HowdoIknowy ouwon’tsl
eepwit
h
hi
m whi l
ecar r
yingmybaby?”
Poppy:“
Thenwhydon’
tyouf
indsomeoneel
se
then?
”
Me:
“Par
don?
”
Poppy:“Yes.Whynotfi
ndsomeoneelsetocarr
y
yourbabysinceyoudon’
tevent
rustIcanbehave?
”
Me:
“Wher
e’st
hiscomi
ngf
rom?
”
Ichuckl
e.
Me:
“Yousi
gnedacont
ract
”
Poppy:“Youcansuemei fy
ouwantbutIcan’t
.Thi
s
i
sn’thowlongissupposedtobe.I
tdoesn’
thavet
o
bethishard”
Me:“
Yougot
tabeki
ddi
ngme.Igavey
oumoneyand
nowthi
s…wehadanagr
eementdammit
!”
Poppy
:“Ouch!You’
rehur
ti
ngme!
”
Me:“
Youaregoi
ngtocar
rymybabywhet
hery
oul
i
ke
i
tornoty
ouharl
ot!
”
Poppy
:“Letgoofme!
”
Shekneesmyf
rontwhi
chhasmer
eleasi
ngher
.
Poppy
:“Go!
”
Me:
“Thi
sisn’
tov
er.Youhav
enoi
deawhot
hehel
lI
am!
”
Il
i
mpt
othedoor
.Shecansur
eki
ck.

*
***
**
Unedi
ted.
SEASONFI
NALE
FORTY-
FOUR

POPPY

Rumi hasbeenf ussi

ngov ermesi nceKhany il
eft.I
reallydidn’
tthinkhe’ dev eneverputhishandsonme.
I
’m br ui
sedf r
om wher ehemanhandl edme.Ican’ t
believeI’dbeensobl ind.Whydi dIeverthinkhe
l
ov esme?Al lthistimeIwaswi ll
ingtogot otheends
foramanwhoj ustsawmeasani ncubator?I’
m sad
forme.Ipi tymy selfreally.She’
smademeacupof
l
emont eawi thpepper mintthatI
’vealmostf i
nished.
Rumi:“
Ithinky
oushoul
dgetar
est
rai
ningor
der
agai
nsthim”
Me:
“No,
don’
twor
ry.I
’
llgetourpl
acesecur
it
y.”
Rumi
:“I
’
m mor
ewor
ri
edabouty
ou”
Me:
“Don’
twor
ryaboutme”
Shef
rowns.
Rumi:“Hav
eyouseenyourarm?Clear
lyhe’
snotthe
ki
ndofguywethoughtheis.Whatwasthatal
labout
even?
”
Isi
gh.
Me:“Let’
sjustsay
,Ishouldhavel
i
stenedwhen
Mphowar nedmeagai nsthi
m.Themant ookmef or
afool.Heplayedmeormor eli
keIpl
ayedmy sel
f”
Shegi
ggl
es.
Me:
“It
’snotf
unny
”
Rumi:
“Iti
s,ali
tt
le.You’
resti
ll
thesmar
testper
sonI
knowthough.Youjustal
lowedlov
etobli
ndyou”
Me:“Wel
l,
nomore.I
’
m goi
ngtost
ickt
o
ent
angl
ement
sandleav
elovet
oyouyoungst
ers”
Rumi:“
You’
renoteven25.Si
s,It
hinkyou’r
etheone
whoneedstostar
tacti
ngyourage.Canwebe
si
ster
s?NotevenauntQuini
sasupt i
ghtasyouare”
Me:
“I’
m notupt
ight
!”
Rumi:“
Youactl
ikeathi
rtyy
earold.May
bey ou
shoul
ddat
esomeonewho’ sli
ke…twent
yfive?
Someonewho’l
lcompli
mentyou.Younevergota
chancet
obeat
eenagerbutIt
hinky
ouhavea
chancet
obeay
oungadultnow.Thi
nkabouti
t”
Me:“Letmejustdeal
withKhanyi
l
ethenI
’
llr
elaxl
i
ke
yousay,goouttowherepeopl
emyagego”
Rumi
:“Pi
nkypr
omi
se?
”
Ir
oll
myey
esbutst
il
ltakeoutmypi
nky
.
Rumi
:“Il
ovey
ou”
Me:
“Il
ovey
out
oo”
Twohour slater,I
’
mi nmybedandst i
ll
can’tsleep.I
can’
ttakehi sthr
eatli
ght
ly.I
t’
sclearhe’ssti
llhurti
ng
andisn’toverhisex.Thi
sevenseemst obedeeper
thanthat.Themani sobsessed,
psy choti
cev en.
Ihuffandthendi
alhi
sbrot
her
.Ihopeit’
snottool
ate
i
nt henight
.Ipr
omisedt
ocall
him ei
therway.
Kany
o:“
Hel
l
o?”
Hi
svoi
cei
scr
oaky
.Hewaspr
obabl
yasl
eep.
Me:
“Heyi
t’
sPoppy
,sor
ryi
fIwokey
ou”
Kany
o:“
Poppy
?Damn,
thoughty
ou’
dnev
ercal
l
”
Me:“Alothasbeenhappeni
ng.Yourbr
otherandI
aredone.I
’m nol
ongergoi
ngthroughwi
ththe
surr
ogacy”
Kany
o:“
Woah,
what
?”
Me:“Yep.Heev
ent
hreat
enedme.Hedi
dn’
ttakei
t
l
ight
ly”
Kany
o:“
Youdi
dther
ightt
hing.I
twasal
lcr
azy
.”
Me:
“Hemi
ghtgetanot
hersur
rogat
e”
Kany
o:“
That
’st
ruebutatl
easty
ou’
ref
ree”
Me:“Notexactl
y.Hesay
sit’
snottheend.Ther
e’s
somethi
ngwr ongwit
hyourbrot
herKanyo.Heneeds
ser
ioushel
p”
Kanyo:
“You’
rescar
ed?Idon’
tthi
nkhe’
dphy
sical
l
y
har
my ou”
Me:
“Hemanhandl
edme.Myar
misev
enbr
uised.
”
Kany
o:“
Shoul
dIcomeov
ert
her
e?”
Me:
“No,
it’
slat
e.Di
dn’
tyoul
eav
e?”
Kany
o:“
Noty et
.Iwaswai
ti
ngony
ourf
eedback.I
’
m
comi
ng,openup”
Me:
“NoKany
o.Yourmot
heral
readyhat
esme”
Hechuckl
es.
Kanyo:
“Whatareyout
hinkingPops?Bet
tergety
our
mindbackher
e.I’
l
lbethereinafew”
Thenhehangsup.
*
***
*
I’
vewai t
edinthel
ivi
ngroom f orhi
m, notwantinghis
knockt owakeRumi andGigi.Mysonsl eptearly
today.Hehasschool t
omor r
owsoi t
’s
understandabl
eIguess.Hedoesn’tknock, j
ust
opens.Ialmostgetaheartattackthinki
ngit
’s
Khany i
.I’
mi nnowayreadytoseehi m.Hewal ksto
met henhugsme, whichalmosthasmemel t
ing.
Kany
o:“
Arey
ouOK?
”
Ichuckl
e.
Me:“
Iam.Canwegot
oyourcar
?Idon’
twantt
ori
sk
waki
ngt
hem”
Kany
o:“
Ofcour
se”
Heopenst
hedoorf
ormewhenwegetout
side.We
si
tint
hebackseat
.
Kany
o:“
Whatchangedy
ourmi
nd?I
’
mjustcur
ious”
Me:“Some…womancame.It hi
nkshe’ssomeseer.
Anyway,shetol
dusi twoul
dnotwork.Kgosi
seemedtotrusthersoIguessi
t’
slegi
t.Appar
ent
ly
I’
dneverbeabletoconceiv
ewit
hKhany i
”
Kanyo:“
I’
m sorr
ybutI’
m gl
adtoheart
his.My
brot
herneverdeser
vedyouany
way”
Me:“
YesbutI’
mrepl
aceabl
e.Hecoul
dgetany
one,
ev
enthoughhe’
ssohunguponme”
Kanyo:“
Don’
tstresst
omuchabouti tt
hough.The
goodthi
ngisyou’vel
etgoofal
lthi
smadness”
Me:
“Ist
il
lcan’
tbel
i
eveIpl
ayedmy
sel
fli
ket
his.
”
Hechuckl
es.
Kanyo:“
Thisi
swhyy oushoul
dn’
tpl
ayi
nthebi
g
l
eagues.You’
l
lgetburned”
Me:
“Noneedt
orubi
tin”
Kany
o:“
Ther
e’sev
eryneed.
”
Me:
“Fucky
ou”
Hel
aughs.
Kany
o:“
Don’
tbebi
tt
er”
Me:
“Don’
ttel
lmehowt
obe”
Kanyo:“
Whatar
eyougonnadot
omewheny
ou’
re
thi
sti
ny?”
Me:
“Dy
nami
tecomesi
nsmal
lpackages”
Kany
o:“
Thi
spackagei
sal
soappeal
i
ngt
hough”
Me:
“Don’
tev
en!
”
Kany
o:“
Don’
ttel
lmehowt
obe”
Me:
“Myv
oicei
sn’
tthatdeep!
”
Hechuckl
es.
Kany
o:“
Nah,
it’
ssex
y”
Me:
“Tr
yingt
ogeti
ntomypant
sal
ready
?”
Kany
o:“
Eeuw,
no”
Isl
aphi
mli
ght
lyandhechuckl
es.
Kany
o:“
Abusi
vel
i
ttl
epackage”
Me:
“Hey
!”
Kany
o:“
Wesl
eepi
ngi
nthecar
,ri
ght
?”
Me:
“Whati
fhe’
swat
chi
ngmyhouse?
”
Kany
o:“
Idon’
tcar
e.”
Heleansbackandcl
oseshisey
es.Aminut
elat
er,
he’
sdozedof.Tal
kaboutbei
ngcrazy
.
.
MPHO

I’
m att heairportwai ti
ngformysi stertocomeget
me.Ideci dedt ogohome, knowi ngIhav et odot his
soSukoandIcanbehappywi t
hnot hingst anding
againstus.Thet r
ipi slongov erdue.Iknowi t
’snot
goingt obeeasycomi ngouttomymot herbutt his
hast ohappen.I ’mj usttir
edofl ivi
ngint heshadows
andf akingsmi l
esi nt hesunshine.I’venev erfeltthi
s
l
iberatedandI fI’dknownt hisishowbei ngwi thhim
i
sliket woy earsago, Iwouldhav egav eusachance.
Butt hen,wewoul dn’thavet hetwinswho’ v egrown
tobeabi gpartofus.I ’mjustsohappy ,i
t’
sal most
surreal.
Shecomesandhugsme,
kissi
ngmycheeks.
Soni
a:“
Youl
ookl
ovel
y”
Me:
“thanky
ou.I
syourmot
herhome?
”
Soni
a:“
Shei
s.What
’sgoi
ngon?
”
Me:
“Not
hingmuch.Thanky
ouf
orcomi
ngt
oget
me”
Soni
a:“
Noneed.You’
regl
owi
ng,
newhun?
”
Me:
“St
oppr
ying”
Shef il
lsmeuponwhathappenedi nmyabsence.
I
t’smom wi t
hherrelati
onshipi
ssues,
nothi
ngmuch
from there.Thement i
onofdad’snameisstil
l
forbidden.That’
stheonlypersonI’
dneverhadto
pretendto.Imisshim al ot
.
Irecei
veawarm welcome.She’sbeeni ndul
ging
whichiswhyshe’st
hiszealous.She’sspeaki
ng
l
oudlyonthephone.Musicisplayingevenlouderso
shehastoproj
ecthervoiceoverit.Igoovertothe
backwheremyr oom i
sandcal lSuko.Imissthem
al
ready.
Suko:
“Babe.You’
vear
ri
ved?
”
Me:
“Yes,
justgother
e”
Suko:
“Areyousur
eaboutt
hatthough?Ireal
l
ydon’
t
wantyouthi
nki
ngyou’
repr
essuredi
ntoit
”
Me:
“Ihav
etodot
his.Ineedmyl
i
ber
ty”
Suko:
“Justkeepmeupdated.Iwi
shI’
dhavel
eft
wit
hyouandmay bebookedintoahot
elor
somethi
ngjustt
obecloser
”
Me:
“Youl
i
kef
orget
ti
ngI
’
m ol
dert
hany
ou.
”
Suko:
“I’
m st
il
ldaddy
,incasey
ouf
orgot
”
Il
augh.
Me:
“Real
l
ynow?
”
Suko:
“Yes.Imi
ssy
ousomuchal
ready
”
Me:
“Imi
ssy
out
oo.I
’
llbet
her
etomor
row”
Suko:
“Thatsoon?Shoul
dwewai
taty
ourpl
ace?
”
Me:
“I’
dlov
ethat
.”
Suko:
“Imi
sseat
ingy
ourboot
y”
Me:
“St
opwi
tht
henast
iness”
Suko:
“Imi
sski
ssi
ngony
ourbal
l
s,l
i
cki
ngt
hem and
shi
t”
Me:
“I’
m goi
ngt
ohangup”
Suko:
“You’
resupposedt
obegmet
ogoon”
Me:
“You’
redamncr
azy
”
Suko:
“Andyoul
ovemeliket
his.RememberthatI
l
oveyouandnot
hingel
sematters.Igoty
ouGray,
nowandfor
ever
”
Ismi
l
e.
Me:
“Il
ovey
out
oo”
Soni
a:“
Iknewi
t!
”
Ihangup.Tr
ustt
hisnoseyonet
oeav
esdr
op.
Me:
“Won’
tyoust
ayoutofmybusi
ness?
”
Sonia:
“Who’sshe?Yourmom wil
lbedisappoi
nted
toknowy oucan’
thookupwithherf
ri
end’sdaught
er.
She’
sjustcal
ledthem t
ojoi
nusfordi
nner”
Me:
“What
?”
Soni
a:“
Yep.Somehowt
hegi
rli
sconv
incedy
ou’
real
l
her
s.Goodluck”
Shecl
apsoncethenl
eav
es.Thi
sisgoi
ngt
obe
har
derthanIt
hought
.
*
***
**
Thedinnerhast obethemostawkwar d.Mymom i s
drunk,soist hef
ri
endsot hey’
rehavi
ngl oud
conversationswit
htheirmouthsfull
.It
’ssonast y.
She’ssitt
ingnexttome, busygivi
ngmedi r
tylooks
whichhasmegaggi ng.I’
m notint
ofemal es,not
evenslightly.
Cleo:
“So,y
ou’r
eint
opr
oper
ty?Youmusthav
eli
kea
hugehouseneh”
Mom: “
OHy es.Hisi
sadoublestor
ey,gol
festate.
Don’
tyouworrythoughCl
eo.He’l
lbuyanotherone
whenyoudecidetohaveki
ds.Idon’
tthi
nkthatone
i
schil
dfri
endly”
Thegi
rlsmi
l
es.
Cl
eo:
“Ohma”
Mom: “
Youguyswi
l
lhav
egor
geousbabi
es.Ican’
t
wai
tforthat
”
Tr
ixyhashadenough.Shedeci
dest
ojustst
epi
n
wi
thoutmyconsent
.
.
TRI
XY

Thisoneli
kestol
erat
ingshit
,whichIhate.Ther
e’s
real
lynoneedforustobedivided,wecanbecome
one.Grayhadbeenaf usi
onofusbuthim separati
ng
hiscal
m andcrazysi
desledtot hi
s.
Thebitcht
ouchesmyt
high,
whi
chhasmesl
appi
ng
herhand.
Me:
“Keepy
ourf
uckenhandsawayf
rom me”
Theygasps.Oh, Mphonevercurses,t
hat’
swhy .Ir
oll
myey es.I
’m enoughwit
htheirbull
shi
t.Imissmy
nai
ls.Nothi
ngbeat spoi
nti
nganacr yl
i
cf i
ngerat
someone.
Mom:
“Apol
ogi
ze.You’
l
lnotembar
rassmel
i
ket
his”
Me:“Whot
oldyoufemalethatI
’
m at
tract
edt
oyour
ki
nd?Whendidyoueverseemewithawoman?”
Gaspsagai
n.
Mom:“What’
swr
ongwi
thy
ou?Ar
eyoupossessed?
Youmustbe”
Me: “
Whatt hehell
iswr ongwithyou?Doy ou
honestlythinkIcan’
tmakemyowndeci sionswhen
i
tcomest owhoIwantt ospendmyl if
ewi th?Worse
youbringt hisgol
ddiggingcuntwho’sbeenchowed
bythewhol ecountr
yassomeoney out hinki s
sui
tablef ormet omar r
y.I’v
ealwaysknowny ou
don’
tdesi regoodthingsf ormebutthis?Ny aa
mosadi ,ntseel
emat sapa.Ican’
tbeli
evey ou!”
Soni
a:“
Mpho,
youcan’
ttal
ktomom l
i
ket
his”
Me: “
Ohbecausei t
’ssobadf orust ohavef eeli
ngs,
huh?I t
’salwaysbeenaboutherandpl easingher
thatwe’ v enevermattered.Thi swomani ssel f
ish,
want ingust opushbackhowwef eelsoshecan
cont i
nuebei ngthelitt
levictim who’shear twas
appar ent l
ybrokenbyourf ather.I’
m enoughwi thher.
Ausi ,I’
m alsoadamnhumanbei ngandIf eel!I’
m
attractedt omales,alwayshav ebeen.Yes, Iam my
father ’
sson!Idon’tcareany mor e.I
’m getti
ng
mar riedt oaman, mightf uckt hiswholemal ething
andst artmyt r
ansi
tionjour neybecauseI ’mt ir
edof
t
hisbody
.Last
ly,
I’
m donewi
thal
lofy
ou!
”
WhenIst andup,i
tfeelsli
keawhol eloadi soffmy
shoulders.I’
vebeencar r
yingalot,
Mphowor se.He’
ll
bemad, yesbuthe’l
lthankmef orthi
s.Igetmybag
whichIhadn’ tbot
heredunpackingandl eav eher
yar
d.Theyneedspacef orall
ofitt
osi nkin.Ididit
.
We’refinall
yfree.

*
***
***
***
Unedi
ted.Pl
easecomment
,it
'sl
ongert
hanusual
.
SEASONFI
NALE
FORTY-
FIVE

SUKOLUHLE

He’sbeensleepi
ngsi
ncehegother e.Hear ri
vedl
ate
l
astnightwhil
eI’
dexpectedhimtoday.Ilefthimi
n
bed,knowinghowhungryhe’sgoi
ngt obewhenhe
wakesup.Themanboughtanewcarj ustsohecan
dri
veallt
hewayhere.Hesay shecouldn’tspendthe
ni
ghtinthatdoomedplace.Idi
dn’
tgett oaskmore.
Theoneper sonwho’ sbeenscar ceisPoppy .Ihat e
howmuchwe’ vedri
ftedapar t
.It’
sreall
ynowl i
ke
thatt i
mewhenIwasbl indedbyNosi exceptthis
ti
mei t
’snotbecausesomeonehasspokeni llofher.
Ijusthatethatwe’renol ongerhowweusedt obe.
Yes, I’
m afathernowandsheal sohasal if
eout side
butt hi
sisn’
thowt hingsshouldbe.Ical lheraf t
er
puttingthedirt
ydishesint hedishwasher .Idon’t
hav etodot hem butIli
kekeepi ngthekitchencl ean,
especi al
l
yaf t
erIworkedoni t.
“
Poppy
’sphonehel
l
o?”
Aman?Wow.
Me:
“Wher
e’sshe?
”
“
Dude,t
hat’
smyphone!
”Ihearherscr
eam then
t
her
e’ssomeshuf
fl
ingwhi
leshe’
sgiggl
ing,
OK.
Poppy
:“Hey
,sor
ryaboutt
hat
”
Me:“I
’
m begi
nni
ngt
othi
nky
oudon’
tlov
eme
any
mor e”
Poppy:“
Youknowt
hatcannev
erbe.Lifehasj
ust
beenkeepi
ngmeabitt
oobusy.Ther
e’saloty
ou
needtoknow”
Me:
“Mpho’
spl
ace?
”
Poppy
:“I
’
llcomeaf
terdr
oppi
ngt
heki
dsatschool
”
Me:
“I’
dlov
ethat
.Weneedt
ocat
chup”
Poppy
:“Gr
eat
”
He’
sher
ewhenIhangup.Hesti
ll
looksexhaust
ed.
Hi
seyesar
esunkenwi
theyebagsunder.
Me:
“Shoul
dyouev
enbeoutofbed?
”
Her
oll
shi
sey
est
henwal
kst
ome,
kissi
ngmycheek.
Mpho:
“Goodmor
ning.I
’
m hungr
y”
Me:
“I’
l
ldi
shup.Oh,
Poppyi
scomi
ngov
er”
Mpho:
“Real
l
y?That
’sgood.She’
sbeenscar
ce”
Me:
“It
oldhert
hatexact
ly”
Mpho:
“Mm,
butI
’
m sot
ir
ed”
Me:
“Gosi
tdownsowecaneat
”
Hedoesn’tar
gue.Imaket woplat
esforuswithj
uice
andateapotonat r
aythentakeeveryt
hingt
owher e
heis.WeeatintheloungesoIputital
lonthecof
fee
tabl
e.
Me:
“So,
howdi
ditgo?
”
Mpho: “
I’
dbel yi
ng.Theyknownowsowecannow
l
ivepersonall
y.Iknowmymot herismadbutfor
once,Istoodupf ormysel
fsoitf
eelsgood”
Me:
“That
’sgr
eat
.I’
m happyf
ory
ou”
Mpho:
“Thanky
oubaby
”
Hecl
ear
sthet
abl
ewhenwedonet
henl
eav
essohe
canshower
.That
’swhenPoppycomes.
Poppy
:“Mor
ning”
Sheki
ssesmycheeksaf
terourhug.
Me:
“Hey
,howar
eyou?
”
Poppy
:“I
’
m good,
you?
Me:“I
’
m great.What’
sbeengoingon?Khanyicame
her
esomet ime,angr
ywhil
stlooki
ngforyou.He
act
ual
lybargedinhere”
Shesi
ghs.
Poppy:“Thatone.Ishoul dhav enevermessedwi th
himli
keMphosai d.Ididn’treal
izehowdeephi slove
fort
hedeadgi rl
fr
iendi s.Henev erl
ovedmebutj ust
wantedtousemet of ulf
il
l hi
ssickdesi
res.Ishould
havestayedaway ”
Me:“Whatsi
ckdesi
re?Hewantedyouto…maybedo
sur
geryt
hatrei
ncar
nateshi
sdeadgir
lf
ri
end?
”
Shel
aughs.
Poppy:“
What?That
’scr
azy
.Hewantedmet obe
thei
rsur
rogat
e.Hehadmesignanondi
scl
osure
thenwehadt hatcont
ractf
orl
ooki
ngaft
erhiski
ds,
whichf or
tunatel
yendedthent
heoneforthe
surrogacy.He’sthr
eat
enedhe’
snotdonewithme
though”
Me:“
Whythehel
ldi
dn’
tyoutel
lmet
his?Al
lthi
s
whi
l
e…hasheeverhi
tyou?
”
Poppy :
“No.It
’sonl
ythel
astt
imethatheact
edout
ofcharact
er.HegotmadbecauseItol
dhimI’
m no
l
ongergoingtobehissurr
ogat
e.Henowwant sto
hol
dt hecontr
actagai
nstmebutthat
’ssomet
hing
I
’m notworri
edabout”
Me:
“Why
?”
Shesmi
rks.
Poppy
:“Don’
tyouwor ry
.Hedoesn’tr
eal
l
yknowme.
I’
m at
oughnut,ev
ent houghIpl
ayedmysel
f.Iwasn’
t
sl
eepi
ngonmybr ain”
Me:
“Heh,
youhav
eanaceupy
oursl
eev
e?”
Poppy:“Youcanputitt
hatway.Tel
l mewhatI
missed.HaveyouandMphomadel ove?Ibeti
thi
ts
di
ffer
entnowt haty
ou’r
etoget
her”
Mpho:
“He’
sbeenpl
ayi
nghar
dtoget
,want
ingt
otop
me”
Hel
auncheshi
msel
fonmyl
ap.
Poppy
:“ButIt
houghty
ou’
ret
hebot
tom”
Hechuckl
es.
Mpho:
“Whyme?Any
way ,
thatdoesn’
texi
stwi
thus.
Whyar
ewetal
ki
ngaboutsexagain?”
Poppy
:“BecauseI
’
m hor
nyandst
uff
”
Welaughandyetwhent
hatl
aught
erceases,
wor
ry
env
elopesme.
Me:“Doy
outhi
nki
t’
ssafefory
ouguy st
obeal
one?
Youcanmov
ebackheretemporar
il
y”
Poppy:“I
’m notscar
edofhi
m sor
elax.Khany
iisa
small
fish”
Mpho:
“Whatdi
dhedo?
”
Poppy:“
Exactl
ywhatyouwar
nedmeabout
.Idon’
t
thi
nkhe’
llev
erbeoverhi
sex”
Mpho:
“Youcan’
tunder
est
imat
ehi
mthough.
”
Me:
“Isecondt
hat
”
Poppy:“
Igott
his,
don’
twor
ry.I
fitget
stoot
ough,
I
haveKgosi
”
Wespendmostofthedayt
ogether
,withheronl
y
l
eavi
ngwhenshehastofet
chthekids.I
twasgood.
I
’dr
eall
ymissedher
.
.
POPPY

AJcal l
severyti
mehe’sfr
om school.Ial
waysgiv
e
Gigimyphonesot heycanvi
deocall
.Thedamn
fatherwantstobuyhi
m aphonelikehe’snotj
ust
fi
ve.Ican’
twi t
hthewayhismindiswi r
ed.
Rumiopensmydooragai n.I
’mjustfr
om the
bat
hroom af
terbat
hing.Icoul
dhav ebeennaked.
Me:
“Whydon’
tyouev
erknock?
”
Rumi:
“Ifor
get
.Ther
e’ssomeoneher
etoseey
ou.I
thi
nki
t’
sKhanyi
’smom”
Me:
“Di
ana?Whatdoesshewant
?”
Rumi
:“Ihav
enoi
dea.Shoul
dIl
etheri
n?”
Me:
“Letmef
ini
shupher
e.”
Shenodsandl eaves.Iwonderwhyshe’shere.She’s
supposedtobehappyI ’
velefthersonalone.Iget
dressedi
nAdidast r
acksui
ts,wearmatchingrunning
shoesandtiemyhai rupti
ghtlyj
ustincasethings
getmessy.Idon’ttr
ustthi
swoman.
Me:
“Whatdoy
ouwant
?”
Shel
aughs.
Di
ana:
“Ar
eyounotgoi
ngt
oof
fermeadr
ink?
”
Me:“Hellno.Whatdoyouwant?Ibr
okeupwithyour
sonsowhydon’ tyoul
eavemealone?Youshoul
dbe
happy.Youneverwant
edmei nhisl
if
eanyway”
Shechuckl
es.
Diana:“Yesbutthat’
sbeforeIknewaboutt
he
surrogacy.Knowingthatall
hewantedwasforyou
tobarekidsforhim andLesedimakesmewi l
l
ingto
tol
erateyouf ormoreyears”
Iscof
f.
Me:
“I’
m notcr
azy
”
Di
ana:
“Azani
aOmer
”
Ichuckl
eandcl
apmyhands.Smar
tmov
e.
Me:“
Tookyout
ool
ong.Ioncet
houghty
ouwer
ea
smar
tbi
tch.
”
Diana:“
Ohmypatiencepai
dof f
.Ifinal
l
yhav e
concret
epr
ooftogetridofyou.ExceptthatIdon’
t
wanttonow,Ihav
eanul t
imatum foryou”
Iscof
f.
Me:
“Your
eal
l
ywantt
ogot
her
ewi
thme?
”
Diana:“It
oldhim Ididn’tt
rustyou,toldhimt here’
s
j
ustsomet hingabouty ou.Itr
ieddigging,nothing
cameupunt i
lIdidsomeoutsour ci
ng.Howl ongdi d
youthinkyou’l
lcontinuedeceivi
nghi m,us?I t’
sover
foryourgolddiggingass.Khany i
lewi l
lprosecute
youandnobombassl awyerwill
beabl et osavey ou
from multi
plechargesoff r
audandt hef
t.I’
mt alki
ng
twentytoli
fe.That’sifyoudon’tagreetowhatI ’
m
abouttopropose”
Me:
“Andwho’
l
lsav
eyouf
rom l
osi
ngev
ery
thi
ng
y
ou’
vebui
l
tpl
usy
ouronl
ysi
ster
?”
Thesmi
l
eonherf aceconvert
stoafr
own.Shelooks
atmebl
ankl
y,ey
ebrowsf ur
rowedi
nconf
usion.
Me: “Oh,don’tlooksur pri
sedDee.Howwi llAphi we
feelwhenshef indsoutshe’ sbeenr aisi
ngy ourson?
Imaginey ourhusbandknowi ngt hatthechi l
dt heyall
thoughtishi ssister’
sisactuall
yy ours.Howabout
Bandileknowi ngaboutt heot heroney ouhav ewi t
h
yourexl overwhohe’ srai
singwi t
hhi swife?I magine
i
fMi nniedidat ellallandexposedy ouforthel ieyou
are!Letthatsinki ntheny oucancomebackt ome
withthet hr
eats.I’ll
bewai ti
ng.Fornow, excuseme.
seey ourselfout.”
Shel ooksl i
keadeercaughti nheadlight
s,I’
m
i
nt ernall
ylaughingatthat.Didsher eall
ythinkshe
cant hreatenme?She’ l
lhavetodosomedeeper
diggingbecauseI ’
m notgoingtobeherson’ s
sur r
ogat e.Notnow, norever.ButIcan’trel
axnow.
Shemi ghthav etakenthatbaitbutwho’ stosay
Khany ican’tfindout?Ifsheknowst henhemost
probabl ymi ghttoowhichbreedsapr obl
em forme.I
hav esomet hi
ngt oholdoverhismom, nothim.I
mostpr
obablymightgetj
ail
ed.Ineedt
ocomeup
wi
thaplanandfast.
Herothersoncal
l
smewhi l
eI’
mt ry
ingtowr eakmy
brai
nwiththi
snewpredi
cament.He’ssupposedto
havelef
tnowbutI’
m notsosur
e.
Me:
“Hey
”
Kany
o:“
Hi,
arey
oubusy
?”
Me:
“Notr
eal
l
y.What
’sup?
”
Kany
o:“
Iwantt
oseey
oubef
oreIl
eav
e”
Me:
“It
houghty
ou’
dlef
t”
Kany
o:“
Notbef
oreIseey
ou.Cany
oucomet
ome?
”
Me:
“Ican’
tgot
oKhany
i’
shouse”
Kany
o:“
I’
m atPal
ms”
Me:
“Oh,
I’
ll
dri
vet
her
e”
Kany
o:“
Thanky
ou”

I’
m goi
ngther
ebecauseIneedtostopt
hinki
ng
abouthi
smom andthestressshenowhasme
under.Mylif
ejustseemstogetmoreandmore
complicat
ed.Whydi dImesswit
hKhanyiagai
n?
Becausenoneoft hi
swouldbehappeni
ng.
HehugsmewhenIar
ri
vei
nhi
sroom t
henki
ssesmy
cheek.
Me:
“Andt
heki
ss?
”
Kany
o:“
Coul
dn’
thel
pit
.Whyar
eyoust
ressed?
”
Hehashi
sthumbonmychi
nwhi
l
elooki
ngst
rai
ght
i
ntomyeyes.
Me:
“It
’swei
rdt
haty
oucanr
eadme”
Kany
o:“
Yes,
answerme”
Me:“I
t’
sal ongstory
.Let
’sj
ustsaythatsomeone
wentdiggi
ngintomypastwhichisn’
tgloomysothey
wanttoblackmailme”
Kany
o:“
You’
renotsay
ingany
thi
ng”
Me: “
I’m notPoppy,Nkanyi
so.Myname’ sAzania
Omer .I’
m af or
merconarti
st.It
’stheonl
ywayIwas
taughttosur vi
vei
nthiscountr
y.OfcoursePoppy
savedmef rom al
otbutnowt heyknow.Theyknow
whoI ’
ver obbedandclai
mt ohav econcr
eteevi
dence
whi
chcanlendmeinjai
l
.I’
m notev
enSouthAfri
can
soI
’l
lmaybebetr
ansport
edbacktoSwi
tzer
landand
–Ij
ust.
”
Isi
gh.Hepul
l
smei nt
oahug,
brushi
ngmyback.
Whyisn’
thef
reaki
ngout
?
Kany
o:“
Igoty
ou”
Me:
“How?
”
Kanyo:
“Don’
twor
ry.You’
ret
ooy
oungt
obe
st
ressi
ng”
Me:
“We’
ret
hesameage”
Hechuckl
es.
Kany
o:“
Whatel
sedoy
ouknowaboutme?
”
Me:
“Thaty
ou’
reappar
ent
lymysoul
mat
e”
Hebr
eakst
hehug,
hishandsgoi
ngt
omywai
st.
Kany
o:“
Real
l
y?”
Inodwi
thachuckl
e.
Kany
o:“
Damn.Thent
ell
mewho’
sthr
eat
eni
ngy
ou”
Me:
“Yourmot
her
.Shewant
smet
ogoaheadwi
th
t
hesur
rogacy
”
Kanyo:
“Myf
amil
y’
sobsessi
onwit
hy ouisbegi
nni
ng
topi
ssmeoff
.Khany
icangetj
ustanyone,why
you?
”
Ishr
ug.
Me: “I
’m notwor
ri
edabouthert
houghbutyour
brother.I
fheget
shishandonthis,
I’
mreal
l
ygoing
tojail
.WhataboutGi
gi,
andRumi ?”
Kany
o:“We’
llf
igur
esomet
hingoutNi
a.Fornow,
can
If
eedyou?”
Inodwi
thasmi
l
e.Wesi
tdownont
hebed.
Me:
“Can’
tbel
i
eveIcanopenupt
oyout
hiseasi
l
y”
Kany
o:“
We’
resoul
mat
es,
remember
?”
Il
augh,
rol
l
ingmyey
es.What
ever
.

*
***
***
Unedi
ted.Excuseanyer
ror
s.
SEASONFI
NALE
FORTY-
SIX

KHANYI
LE

Irunoutofpat i
encet ooqui ckly,al otev en.Ineed
somet hingt angible,somet hingev enmyownbl ood
brotherwon’ tbeabl et ostandagai nst.Whoi sPoppy ?
I’
vebeent ryingtogetsomedi rtonher , any t
hingbut
Icanf eel I
’m nowcl ose.Peopl el ikemeneed
somet hingt obeabl et ouseagai nstpeasant slike
herself.I’
dtakeGi gi butcr ossingAJandhi smob
i
sn’tsomet hingwor thmyt i
me.Thei rchai nist oo
power fulandwayt ool ong.I t
’l
lrequi real otof
resourcesf rom meandpl ayingt hatdi rtyhasnev er
beenmyt hi
ng.Ipar ti
allyregretev ert elli
nghert o
havehi m meethi sdadbutt henagai n, shewoul d
haver unst raighttohi m orKgosi iftheboygot
snatched.Kgosi seemst ohav eal iki
ngt owar dsher ,
somet hinghi swi f
eknowsy etisn’tdoi ngany thing
abouti t.She’ssmar t,thatIknowofbutI ’
dbel yingif
IsayIknowt hedy nami csoftheirmar ri
age.I’
ve
bangedt hatint hepast.She’ssor tofthefir
st
womanIf eelinl ov
ewi thwhobr okemyhear tor
rat
herIbr okemyownhear tsi
ncei twasone- si
ded.It
waspl atoni
conherend.Weal lknownot hinghurts
moret hanunr equitedlove.Ipeekatmywr i
stwatch
again.I’
vebeenwai ti
ngf orthi
sRomanguyf orabout
twentymi nut
esnow.Hecamehi ghlyrecommended
buthechar gesanar m andal eg.Ifthi
sget smemy
babyt henIdon’ tmind.I’devensel lakidneyifpush
comest oshov e.
Me:
“You’
rel
ate”
Hescoffs,pul
li
ngachai
rbef
oremetosi
t.Ourt
abl
e
i
sexcluded,ti
mesomethi
ngaft
erei
ghti
nthe
eveni
ng.
Roman:
“I’
m her
e,ar
en’
tI?
”
Ihuf
f.
Me:
“Whatdoy
ouhav
eforme?
”
Roman: “
She’saconwoman, hasbeenusinga
pseudonym si
ncesi
xteen.Sheprevi
ousl
ystayedin
Joburgbutthenmovedwhenhert henboyfr
iend’
s
mot herpaidherofft
ostayawayfrom herson.Her
namei sAzani aOmer.She’
sfr
om Switzer
landand
hasnumer ouspendi
ngcasesoffr
aud.She’sa
fugit
ive,goodoneatthatsi
nceshe’smanagedt obe
freeforsixyearsnow”
Me:
“Thi
sisexact
lywhatIneeded.Thanky
ou”
Roman:“Here’
sever
ythi
ng.Paymentbett
err
efl
ectin
myaccountinlesst
hantwentyfourhour
soryou’
l
l
l
oseyourpreci
ouseggs”
He’sl
eftbef
oreIcanevenreacttothethreat
.This
l
ankyguy.Thebrownenvel
opehe’ sgivenmei st
hick.
Ipeeki
nsideandsmir
kt omy sel
f.Igotherexact
ly
whereIneed.
I’
minagoodmoodwhenIar r
iveinmyhouse.Ican
almostimaginehowourbabyisgoingtolook.I
’m
hopingforagir
lwho’l
lbetheexactrepl
icaofSedi
.I
knowshe’llbeproudwher
eversheis.I’
m
rei
ncarnat
ingher.
Mom:
“Wher
ear
eyoucomi
ngf
rom?
”
Ihal
tmywhist
li
ngandturn.She’
sint
hel
ounge,
si
ppingonagl
assofwhiskey.
Me:
“You’
reaski
ngmet
hati
nmyownhouse?
”
Mom:
“It
’saquest
ion”
Me:“Seei
ngthaty
ou’reaski
ngni
cely
.If
inal
l
yhave
enoughdi
rtt
oconv i
ncePoppyorshoul
dIsayAz
ania
tobemysurrogat
e”
Hereyespopout ,herdr
oppingthegl
assshehel
d
pri
orwhichshattersontothefl
oor,
stai
ningmy
whit
emat .Shestandsuplooking…pani
cked?My
for
eheadclenchesinfurr
ows.
Me:
“Youshoul
dbehappy
”
Mom:
“No,
no.Youcan’
tuset
hat
”
Isni
cker
.
Me:
“Whyt
hehel
lnot
?I’
vehi
tthej
ackpot
”
Mom:“Pl
easeKhany
i.Wecanf i
ndanot
hersur
rogat
e,
onewaybet
tert
hanher.Pl
ease”
Me:“Iwantherandyou’
renotgoingtostandonmy
way.Ial
readyhavet
heprosecutoronspeeddial
,
wil
l
ingtoputheraway.She’l
lbeshippedofft
o
Swit
zerl
andandshe’l
lneverseehersonagain”
Mom:
“Ifshegoesdownt
henI
’
m al
sogoi
ngdown”
NowI ’m confused.Shehurri
estome, t
akingmy
handsintoher s.Hereyeshavebulgedoutandar
e
begging.Yetev enthatpuppyfacewon’tmakeme
reconsider.
Me:
“Whatdoesshehav
eony
ou?
”
Mom:“
Sheknowsalot
,OK.I
fshe…i
fshesi
ngs,
I’
m
goi
ngt
oloseev
ery
thi
ng”
Isni
cker
.
Me:
“How’
sthatmypr
obl
em?
”
Mom:
“I’
myourmot
her
!”
Me: “
Amot herwho’snotgoingtogi
vemewhatI
need.Youfail
edtoconv i
ncehersobracey
our
self
forl
osingeveryt
hing.I
t’
ll
teachyout
obehonest”
Iy
ankmyhandsf
rom hergr
ip.
Mom:“
You’
redoi
ngt
hatt
ome,
Khany
i?Yourown
mot
her
?”
Me:“Yes.Iwon’
tlety
oust
andi
nthewayofmy
happi
ness”
Ileavehertherewit
hherdroppedj
aw.Ineedtogo
througheverythi
ngbef
orehit
ti
nguptheprosecutor
.
Beforethat
, Ineedt
opayPoppyonemor evisi
t.
.
POPPY

It’
sbeenaweeksi nceKany olef
tandwe’ vebeen
talki
ngoverthephonei nthatspace.He’ ssomeone
who’ ssl
owlycreepingtheirwayintomyhear t.He’s
foodcompany ,funnyandsor ef
reshing.I
t’
swei r
d
thatKhanyihasbeent hisquietthough.It
’snot
somet hi
ngI’
m stressingmuchaboutbecauseIhav e
ahol donhismom.I ’
l
l j
ustbri
ngt hatupifhefinds
out .
Ki
ara:
“Hav
eyout
houghtabouti
t?”
Isi
gh.
Me: “I
t’
sagooddeal,
itreal
l
yis.Icanhandl
ethe
digi
talsi
deofthi
ngsbuttobeatthestoreal
lthe
ti
me?Idon’tknow.It
hinkit
’sti
mewegothel psince
you’
remov i
ng”
Shenods.
Ki
ara:
“That
’sagoodi
dea”
Me:
“So,
arey
ouexci
ted?
”
Shegi
ggl
esandnods.
Ki
ara:
“Goodthi
ngis,
I’
llbecl
osert
owhereIr
enew
myworkingper
mit
.I’
m happyandwhoknows,
maybeIcanmeetsomeonethere”
Il
augh.
Me:
“Ti
redofbei
ngsi
ngl
e?”
Ki
ara:
“Ver
y.I
’
mti
redofsel
f-
ser
vice”
Me:
“Justbecel
i
bat
eli
kemy
sel
f”
Shechor
tl
es.
Ki
ara:
“You?Cel
i
bat
e?I
’
dbl
eachmyski
n”
Me:
“Ihav
en’
tbeenl
aidi
nweeks”
Ki
ara:
“Notl
i
key
oucan’
taf
for
dto”
Il
augh.
Me:“Iwi
sh.Ihav
etogonowandt
hanksf
ort
henai
l
s,
Il
ove”
WehugthenIl
eave.Ihavetocookbefor
egoingt
o
f
etcht
hekidsfr
om school.If
indmydooropenand
t
hatal
onerai
sessuspici
on.I’
vebeenmeani
ngtoup
t
hesecur
it
yhere.
Khany
i:“
Good,
youf
inal
l
ymadei
t”
Idropmykey s,f
eeli
ngmyhear tbegi
ntopalpit
ate.
JustthemanIwast hi
nki
ngistooquiet
.Ihadn’t
expectedhimtobebackt hi
ssoon.Ikeepthedoor
open,nottoofarfr
om itj
usti
ncaseImi ghthaveto
runout.
Me:
“You”
Hesmi
rks.
Khany
i:“
MeAzani
a”
OHno.Noway
s.DamnDi
ana.Isni
cker
.
Me:
“Ofcour
seshesang”
Thatwi
peshi
sli
tt
lesmi
rkoff
.Heget
supf
rom t
he
di
ningt
abl
eandmakeshiswayt
ome.
Khany
i:“
Who?
”
Me:
“Yourdamnmot
her
.Whyar
eyouact
ing
sur
pri
sed?
”
Hechor
tl
es.
Khanyi
:“Nowondershebeggedmenott ocomet o
youwit
ht hi
s.SheknowsandI ’
m guessi
ngwhat ever
youhaveonheri stooheavycomparedtoyoursins.
Well
,I
’m notDiana.Youknowwhat’sup”
Me:
“What
’sup?
”
Khany i
:“Ihavetheprosecutoronspeeddial,
who’d
l
iketomakeanexampl eofforei
gnchancerslike
yoursel
fwhot hinktheycandoast heypleaseinour
country.Imaginegetti
ngoutofjail
onlywhenGi gii
s
what,wayov ereighteen?Yourli
tt
lesi
sterwil
l
probablybemar ri
edbyt hen”
Fuck, he’
sgotme.Butt ocarryadeadwoman’ sbaby ?
It
’l
lfeel l
i
keI’m sel
li
ngmysoul .YetIcan’
tlosi
ngmy
sonorsi ster.I
’
mt heonlyoneRumi has.We’vereal
l
y
j
ustgotbackt ogether
.Wehav en’
tbeenaf amil
yfor
thatlong.It’
stoosoon.
Khanyi
:“I
’
llgi
vey
out
woday
stot
hinkabouti
t.Don’
t
taket
oolong”
Iscream afterhe’sleft,f
eel
ingt hetearswetmy
cheeks.Myl ibertyisalwaysshor t-
li
ved.Fi
rst
,Iwas
i
ndebt edtoOki ,nowhi m.Wi l
lthiseverendthough?
I’
mt ooy oungf orthis.
.
MPHO

I
tseemscommot ioninmyhousei sbecomi nga
norm.Idon’tknowwho’ sjustbargedinher e.I’
ve
beenintheof f
ice,workingwhilealsolookingaf t
er
thetwinswhoar en’ttr
oublesome.Thei rdadi sat
work,nowbackathi soffi
ce.I’
vebeenwor kingfrom
homesi ncethen,somet hi
ngIdon’ tdoingbecauseI
gettospendt hewhol edaywi thLihl
eandLet hu.
Me:
“What
’sgoi
ngonher
e?”
Mom:
“Yeswena”
She’
sdrunk.Herst
inkhaspol
l
ut edtheai
r.Shel
ooks
horr
ibl
ebutthi
sissti
ll
mymot her.
Me:
“Ma,
whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?”
Mom:
“Gr
ayson,
ont
sent
semat
lhoi
nfr
ontofmy
f
ri
ends.Howcoul
dyou?
”(Youembar
rassedme)
Isi
gh.
Me:
“Ihadt
o”
Mom:
“Ost
abanej
aakar
rago?
”
Icr
inge.Thewordisdegr
adi
ng,
insul
ti
ngev
enbutI
don’
tthinkshecar
es
Mystaffi
sherebutonel
ookf
rom meandt
hey
scat
teranddi
sappear
.
Me:
“Pl
easedon’
tcal
lmet
hat
”
Mom: “
Howcoul
dyouhurtmeli
ket
his?Myonl
yson
wanti
ngtobeawoman?Youthi
nkGodmadea
mist
ake?”
Me:“No,ofcoursenot.I’
mjustti
redofbei
ng
someoneI’m not.Iwanttobemeandi t
’snonbinar
y.
Someti
mesI ’m Grayandatotherti
mes,I
’m Tr
ixy.I
hat
ethedivisi
on.Iwanttobeone”
Shecr ouchesunti
lherbutthitst
hefloor,t
hequart
she’sholdingnotspi
ll
ingover.Iwatchhertakea
gulpthent het
earsgushout .Shecri
eslikeanew
widow, whichpull
satmyhear tstr
ings.Iwantto
wal
kovert
oherandbrushherbackbutIdon’
t.I
r
emaini
nonespotandwatchher.
Sheheavesasi ghwhenshe’
sdone,wipi
nghertears
wit
hherskirt
.Shedoesn’
tgetupthough.I
nstead,
shetakesanothergul
pwhenahiccupsurges.She’
s
hadtoomuch.
Mom:
“Idon’
tunder
standy
ou”
Me:
“Youhav
etol
ethi
m go”
Mom: “Consideryoursel
fmother
lessf
rom nowon.I
thoughtIcouldcomeher eand…butIcan’
t.Icannot
acceptthi
s,notagain”
Shest
ands.
Mom: “
Ify
ouwantust
omov
eoutoft
hehousey
ou
bui
l
tthen–
Me:“It
’sfi
ne.That
’sy
ourhouse,
ev enwhenyoudon’t
wantany t
hingt
odowi t
hme.May beI’
m adi
sgrace,
i
t’
sfine.”
Shescof
fs.
Suko:
“HoneyI
’
m ho-
Heseesher.Mom lookstomet henhi
m.Shet
hen
cl
apsherhands,
pickingherquart
.
Mom: “
Awholemanli
key
ou.Sodom andGomor
rah.
Youhavenoshame”
Sukolaughs.Ishoothi
m al
ookandhest
ops,
mouthingasorry.
Suko:
“Goodaf
ter
noonma”
Mom:
“I’
m noty
ourmot
herwena”
Suko:
“I’
l
lgocheckont
het
wo”
Mom:
“Si
es!
”
Shespi t
sont hefl
oorthenstumblesherwayout
.I
heav easigh,br
ushingmyf or
ehead.If
eelhi
sarms
wr aparoundmet henhishandbrushesmyback.I
didn’tt
hinkit
’dbeeasybutinwar,ther
eareal
ways
casualti
es.

*
***
**
Unedi
ted.Comment
swoul
dbeappr
eci
ated.
SEASONFI
NALE
FORTY-
SEVEN

POPPY

I’
veal waysconsi der edmy selfsmar t
, r
esili
entand
fi
erce.I’veal way st houghtIcanconquerany thi
ng
andt hatmyagewasn’ tar epresentationofmy
mat urit
y.I’
v edonet hingsy oungadul t smyage
woul dnev ert hinkof ,disobey edal mostal lthet en
commandment sandnev erdi ditoccurt omet hat
mypuni shmentwoul dbet hisfi
erce.I ’
mt urning
twentyf iv
et hisyearandf orthepastt hreeyear s,I
’
ve
beenexi sting.It houghtIcoul dstandupandcome
outaconquer oragai nstKhany iandhi smot herbut
whowasIki dding?Noonecoul dhelpmeescape
whatwasdeemedmyf at
esoIr elented.No, Ididn’t
gettocar ryhi sbelov edgi rlf
ri
end’ski ds,thatwoul d
havebeent oohar donmebutIdi dgett ocarrya
Dlami nibaby .Thatal onewei ghsheav i
lyonmysoul
becauseIdi dn’ tthinkatal most25, I’
dbeamot her
oft hree.It hinkofi tal ot,ofhowt hingswoul dhav e
turnedouti fI ’
dj ustbeenat eenagerwhenIhadt he
chanceandat ypical y
oungadul trightaf ter.I’ve
beenexi stingandnotr eallyl
iving.I’vedugahol e
that’ssodeept hatIdon’ tthi
nkImi ghtev ercome
out.It’smyf ault–t hatI’m awar eofandi t ’
swhyI ’
ve
giveni ntoi t.Ther e’snol i
feleftinme.Thef i
rst ,aboy
IlastsawwhenIst oppedbr east f
eedi nghi m atsi x
mont hs.Il ethi mt akei t,watchingKany o’
s
hear t
br eakatt hef actt hathemi ghtnev errai sehi s
ownchi ld.Notwhenwewantmet obef r
ee.What
hurtsmor eist hatwemi ghtnev erreallybet oget her.
Notf ully.Hegotbackwi thhisbabymama, dr opping
meof fliket hehotpot atoIam andI ’dnev erbl ame
himf ori t.Rumi isgr ownnow, hav ingj oi
nedKi ar
ai n
Jobur g.Theyst ayt oget her.Sheal sowor kspar t
-
ti
meatt hebout ique.
She’stur
nedoutwel l
,sowellthatt
here’savoicethat
whispersshe’dbebetterofwi
thoutme.Gi giandhis
fat
heraregoodt oo.Sometimesitfeel
slikemy
purposeont hi
searthwasonlytosuf f
er.Mybaby
boyhasgr ownsomuch.He’ sinsecondgr adenow,
havinggrownt all
erandsmar ternow.Wet al
kas
muchaswecan.I t’
sint hoseconv ersati
onsthat
everythi
ngalmostf eelslikei
t’
sOK.I t’
shardnot
i
magi nehowbet t
erof fthey’
dal lbe.Hedoesn’ t
knowofhi ssi bli
ngs, mor ebecauseIhav en’tseen
theboyi ntwoy ears.Iwasn’tev engiventimet o
breathe,havingt ogetpr egnantt hr
eemont hsaf t
er
givi
ngbi r
th.Heseemedt ochange, seeminglikehe
caresbutIdi dn’tbuyi t.Now,I’m onthishospitalbed
aboutt ogivebi r
tht ohisdaught er.
He’snother ewi thme.ImeanIt houghthe’ l
lcuthi s
tr
ipshortsohecanbet her
ef orhisdaught er’
sbi rt
h
buthedidn’t.I’mtwoday spastmyduedat e,layi
ng
onthehospi talbedandwai t
ingtobef ul
lydilated.
I
’mtryingtocal lhi
m andonceagai n,i
ttakesmet o
voi
cemai l
.Ther e’
saknockont hedoorandwi th
hopefuleyes, Il
etthem i
n.I’
m hopingi t’
sKhany i
le.
Myshoul dersslouchwhenIseeDi anahol dinga
bouquetofbl ackroseswhilewear ingallblack.
Di
ana:
“Ar
eyoui
nanypai
n?”
Me:
“Li
key
ougi
veadamn.
”
Shel
aughs.
Diana:“Oh,
I’
m exci
ted.You’r
egivi
ngbirtht
oSedi’
s
thi
rdbabyanditfeel
sl i
keshe’sst
il
lherewit
hus.
That’
sonceagainasi gnthatyou’
l
lneverhavehi
s
heart.
”
I
’
mt empt
edtowipethatsmirkof
fherf
acebutf
or
t
hesakeofmyfr
eedom, Idon’
t.
Me:
“Andy
ou’
ret
ell
i
ngmet
hatbecause…?
”
Shechuckles,
put t
ingtheflowersonthebedsi
de
tabl
ethengrabbingachai rthat
’snextt
omybed.I’m
l
ay i
ngonmysi de,watchingher.Icantel
lshel
ikes
theatt
enti
on.
Diana:“Theywant edfourki
dsandnowt heyhave
them,thankst oyou.He’sgoi
ngtot akehisdaughter
thenspity ououtli
ketheusedbubbl egum youar
e.
I
’llbethere,watchi
ngwi t
hasmi r
kwheny oupack
yourragsandgetoutofourl iv
esf orever
.”
Khany
i:“
Mom, that’
senough!She’
spr
egnantandI
’
d
ver
ymuchlikethatshehasanuncompli
cated,
smoothdel
i
v er
y.”
Hestrutsi
n,colognedomi nat
ingt
heairintheroom
andstr
utstome.Heki ssesmycheekt henthatof
hi
smot her
.Heact sli
kethissometi
mes, l
i
kehe
di
dn’
tcoercemei ntothi
s.NoneoftheplansKany o
andIcamewi t
hwor ked.Itwaswrongofmet o
al
waysexpectpeopletocomet omyrescue
Khany
i:“
How’
rey
ouf
eel
i
ng?
”
Me:“Fi
nenowt haty
ou’r
ehere.Iwast
hinki
ngyou
won’tmakeit
.Yourphone’
sbeentaki
ngmet o
voi
cemail
.”
Khanyi
:“Iwoul
dn’
tmi
ssmydaught
er’
sbi
rt
hfort
he
worl
d.”
Dianalooksathersonwi thapr oudsmile,
t hetwo
exchangingglanceslikeI’
m nott her
e.Igetacol d
feel
ingdeepint hepitsthatsendsshiversthrough
myspi ne.I
’m missingsomet hinghereandIhav ea
feel
ingtheeggwi llbeonmyf acewhenIf indout.
WhathasDi anapl anned?
Anhourl
ater
,Di
ana’sgoneandI’
mf eel
ingit.The
needt
opushalongwithcont
ract
ionsattackingmy
l
owerbackandthr
oughoutmywai st
.I’
l
l neverget
usedt othispier
cingfeeli
ng.I
’m nakedandcov ered
withasheetwhi leclawingontohi shand,squeezing
i
tf ordearli
feandt ry
ingnottoscream.Ithought
theysaidthepainget slessasy ouhavemor ekids,i
t
doesn’tfeell
ikeit
.Infact,t
hisfeelsworsethanmy
previouspregnancies.
Khany
i:“
ShouldIcallthedoctor
?Tr
ytobreat
hebaby,
l
ikewedidinprenatalcl
asses.I
nwi
thyournoseand
outwi
thyourmout h.”
Hegui desmethr oughthebr eathi
ngexer ci
sesandI
foll
owl i
keameekst udent
.Itdoeshel pwi t
hthepai
n
butonl yforami nutethenitattacksmemor e
ferocious.Helet’sgoofmyhandbutnotaf t
er
orderingmet ocont i
nuewi ththeexer ci
se.Ido,
wat chinghiseverystepuntilhe’sdisappearedout
thenagai nwhenhecomesbacki n.
Thedoct
orl
ooksbet
weenmyspr
eadl
egs.
Dr
.:“
Icanseet
heheadsoy
oucanst
artpushi
ng.
”
Inodandfol
lowhisl
ead.Wit
hinfi
veminutes,our
daught
er’
scri
eshasfi
ll
edtheroom.Hehandshert o
meandt heminut
eIl
andmyey esonher,Iwishfor
theear t
ht oopen.Myhear ti
sbeatingagai nstmy
chest,thev ibrati
oncausingmet oshiverasmy
sweatt urnscol d.I’
mf r
ozenandev enmybr eat
hi ng
hasst opped.I ’m st
uckint hi
sonepl acewher eI’m
l
ookingatherandev er
yoneel sehasdisappear ed.
I’
m awar et hatheknowsandIcanal mostheart he
wheelst urningi nhi
shead.Myhear tisfighti
ng
againstmyr ibcage,beggingtobef reed.The
vibr
ationf r
om i tsbangingoozesoutofmyear s.
He’ssomad.
Khany
i:“
Poppy
,whatt
hehel
li
sthi
s?!
”
Histonestart
lesme,myeyeslooki
ngany
wherebut
athi
m.Icanf eelhi
sragi
ngbreathwhi
chhasmerged
wit
ht her
hy t
hm ofmyheartt
of or
m mycurr
entst
ate
ofmind.
Khanyi:“
Iam notgoingtoaskagain,woman!Why
thehelli
smy …thatchil
dyou’r
ehol di
ngt oyourchest
pinkwithbl
onde…orwhat everthatcolorherhai
ris.
Explai
n!”
Dr
:“MrDlami
ni,mypati
enthasjustgi
venbir
thand
weneedt
ocleanherandyourdaughterup.I
fyou’
l
l
pl
easeexcuseus.
”
Khanyi
:“That
’snotmyfuckendaughter
!You’
regoi
ng
topayforthi
sPoppy,
Mar kmywor ds!
”
Hest ormsout ,bangi ngt hedooronhi sexistwhi l
e
tearscascadedownmycheeks.I ’v
elosthim, Ican
feelitwhi chbreaksmyhear t
.I’
m goingtoexpl ain
butwi thhi spoisonousmot herandhisenragedst at
e,
Idoubthe’ l
lunder stand.I’m numb.Mydaught er’
s
takenawayandev eryt
hingf r
om therehappensi na
blur.Mymi ndisatKhany il
eandt hepossibil
it
yt hatI
mi ghtloset hi
sf reedom Isol dmysoul f
or.Idon’ t
under standwhyshe’ ssopal e.I
tdoesn’tl
ookl ike
shehasanymel ani n.
Dr
:“Thepossi
bil
i
tyofhav
inganal
binobabyi
s–
Me:
“Wai
t,t
hat
’swhyshe’
s…?
”
HenodsandIexhal
einr
eli
ef.May
beal
li
sn’
tlostl
i
ke
It
hought
.
.
KHANYILE
Ifeel
li
keuprooti
ngmydamnhair
,any
thi
ngtogetri
d
ofthi
srage.Evenwi
thev
ery
thi
ngIhadagai
nsther
,
shedoesthis?
Mom:
“Rel
ax”
Me:
“Rel
ax?Shef
ool
edme.I
’
m goi
ngt
osueherand
–
Mom:
“RememberKhany
a,y
oursi
ster
?”
Ihal
tthepaci
ng,
tur
ningt
oher
.
Mom:
“Nqaba?
”
Me:
“Wher
ear
eyougoi
ngwi
tht
his?
”
Mom: “
Don’
tyouseeanyresemblancebetween
them?Yousawthei
rbabypict
ures,di
dn’
tyou?You
sawNqabagrowup”
Thatsor
tofput
sthefir
eoff
.Thatdidn’
tcrossmy
mindbutnowthatshement
ionsit
,itmakessense.
Me:
“Iwasgoi
ngt
oki
l
lher
”
Mom: “
Youwor
ryt
oomuch.Hav
eyoucheckedupon
Loago?
”
Inod.
Me:
“Thenanny
’st
aki
nggoodcar
eofher
”
Mom:“Good.Let
’st
alkabouty
ourwhor
enow.
What
’sthepl
an?”
Me:“Let
’sl
etherbr
eastf
eedherforsi
xmonthsli
ke
shedidwit
hLoagothenI’
ll
getr
idofher,
forgood”
“
Youhav
enoshame!
”
IturntoseeKanyowhohasbl
oodshotredey
es.
Lethaboisonhertai
l
,al
sohav
ingthesameeyes.
Kanyo:“
Youwantt
ogetr
idofheraf
teral
lshe’
s
doneforyou?
”
Me:“Af
ewroundswi
thherandy
ousuddenl
yher
adv
ocat
e?”
Kanyo:“
Thesadt hi
ngist
haty
ourmot hersuppor
ts
thi
sli
keshe’
snotal i
eherownsel
f.Youareindeed
yourmother
’sson”
Me:“Whyar
eyouev
enher
eify
ouhat
eust
his
much?”
Kany
o:“
ForLoago,
whoel
se?ComeThabo”
Hehol
dsherhandandt
het
wodi
sappeart
othe
nur
sery
.Igrabmycarkeys.I
t’
stimef
ormet
ogot
o
Poppyandpret
endl
ikeI’
m sorr
y.
Me:
“I’
m goi
ngbackt
othehospi
tal
”
Shenods.
JustwhenIgeti
ntomycar,
she’
sher
e.Ij
ust
unl
ockedthi
sbutwit
hthi
sone,y
oucanneverknow.
Tshol
o:“
Iwar
nedy
ou”
Ihuf
f.
Me:
“Ihav
etogoseemydaught
er”
Tsholo:“
You’renotGodKhany
il
e.Stophol
dingt
he
otherchi
ldback.Doyouwanthertobecomean
angryspi
ritanddri
veyoumad?”
Me:
“What
?Shel
ovesme”
Tsholo:“She’
snotpl easedwit
hy ou.Ican’tkeep
goingbackbecauseofy ou.I
’m supposedt obedone
wit
ht hisli
febutshehaunt sme.She’st her
e,
whenev erIclosemyey esandscr eamingatme.You
needt oapologizetoherandsetherf r
eeory oushal
l
l
oseev erythi
ng, y
ouandy ourmot her
.Don’tsayI
di
dn’twar nyou”
Shebangst
hebackdooronherexi
t.Isi
ghandst
art
thecar
.
She’ssleepingwhenIar ri
veinherroom,looking
drai
ned.Shehascr easesunderhereyesandherl i
ps
aredry,asi fther
e’snoli
feinher.Myheartremains
hardened, withnotevenaninchofempat hyinme.If
shehadl istened,I
’dkepthercl
ose.Thoseey esopen,
asredast hoseofThaboandherboy f
ri
end.She
l
ooksatmeandIseeat earcascadedownherl eft
eye.Shel ooksolderthansheis.
Me:
“Hi
”
Poppy:“
They’
rebri
nginghersoon.The…t
hedoct
or
saysshehasalbi
nism,whichi
swhyherskini
sli
ke
that
”
Me:
“Iov
err
eact
ed.I
’
m sor
ry”
Poppy
:“ Idon’
thav
eanymil
k.Mybreast
sar
en’
t
pr
oducingany.That’
sal
socommon”
Me:“What
?Breastmi
lki
simport
ant
.Iwanthert
o
gett
hebestnut
ri
ti
onshecan”
Poppy
:“Di
dn’
tNqabauset
hebot
tl
e?Gi
git
ooandhe
gr
ewupf
ine”
I
t’
sthi
satti
tudeIhat
e.I
fthat
’st
hecaset
henIhav
e
nouseforher.
Me:
“Fi
ne.Whenar
eyoubei
ngdi
schar
ged?
”
Poppy
:“Tomor
rowmor
ning”
Thenur secomesi nwit
hmydaught er.I
’m naming
herLesedi,aft
erhermother.Theytr
ygivi
ngi tt
o
Poppybutsheshakesherhead, poi
nti
ngatme.I
takemydaught erwhocr
iesoutwhenIdo.The
pitchedcrycatchesmeof fguar
d.
Nurse:
“Maybeshe’shungr
yorhasf
inal
l
yrel
eased
somefeces.Checkherdi
aper
”
Me:
“Whenshe’
scr
yingt
hismuch?
”
Nurse:
“It
’snor
mal
fornewbor
ns.Letmegochange
her
”
Thefunnythi
ngi
s,shequi
etenswhent
henur
se
takesher
.
Poppy
:“Pl
easel
eav
e”
Me:
“Excuseme?
”
Poppy:“
IneedspaceKhanyi
le.Youknowwhereyour
daught
erwent.Ther
e’snoneedforyoutobeher
e”
Icl
ickmytongueandgoout
.I’
m noti
nthemoodf
or
hershi
t.
.
SUKOLUHLE

Me:“Doy
outhinki
t’
sagoodi
deatogowitht
he
t
wins?Whati
fshe’
snoti
nther
ightst
ate?
”
Heshr
ugs.
Me:
“Youcan’
tspeaknow?
”
Gray
:“I
’
m noti
nthemoodforyouSuko.Theonl
y
r
easonI’
m her
eisf
orPoppy,
nothi
ngelse”
Isi
gh.
Me:
“Andourki
ds?
”
Gr
ay:
“Isn’
titmyweekendwi
tht
hem?
”
Me:“
Itdoesn’
thav
etobel
i
ket
hat
.Ist
il
ldon’
tknow
whyyou’
remadatme”
Gray
:“I
’m notmad.Canwenotdot
hisi
nfr
ontoft
he
ki
ds?”
Isighandst artthecar .Thingshav ebeenl ikethis
sincet heystart
edt akinghormones.Somet imes
they ’
reup,somet imest hey’r
edown.Ihadt owat cha
l
otofYouTubev ideost omakesenseofev eryt
hing
whi chmakesi teasyf ormet odeal with.Theybr oke
upwi thme.I t’
sbeent womont hsnowbutwhen
they ’
rehorny,Ihavet orusht otheirhouse.If eel
usedsomet i
mest henIr ememberal lI’velearned
theni tmakessense.Ican’ twaituntilthey’
v eful
ly
transiti
onedsoIcanf inall
ygett heTrixyIknow.She
won.
Istar
tthecar ,
musicplay i
ngont hel owalongwi t
h
thetwinsspeakingaboutwhat ever.They ’
real
most
coherentinthei
rspeechbutwhent hey ’
retal
kingfast
,
i
t’shardtocatchwhatt hey’resay i
ng.Ipar knextto
Khanyi,who’sprobabl
yher et oseeher .Poppynev er
tol
duswhyshewentt hroughwi tht hesurrogacy.I
wasshockedwhenshet oldus, wonder i
ngwhyshe’ d
eventhinkofgoingbackwhi l
eknowi ngthemanwas
usingher.Shehasn’texactlybeent hesameandno
matterhowmuchIt ri
edreachi
ngout ,shedidn’
tlet
me.Ithurtsseei
ngherandnotbeingabl etohel
p
becauseIdon’tknowwhat’swrong.She’snever
beenanopenbookbuti nthepastthreey ear
s,t
hings
seemedt ogetworse.
IgetLethuwhileGrayget
sLihlewhenwegetoutof
thecar.Khanyicomesholdi
ngababywr appedina
pinkbl
anket.Heseemshappy ,sohappythathe
almostdoesn’tseeusunti
lGraycal
lshi
m.
Khany
i:“
Oh,
Idi
dn’
tseey
out
her
e”
Gr
ay:
“Isi
ther
?”
Henods.
Gr
ay:
“AndPoppy
?”
Khany
i:“
Thatf
ugi
ti
vei
s…oh,
ther
eshei
s”
Hebucklesthebabywhil
ewe’reast
ounded.Wet ur
n
totheentr
anceofthehospi
tal
.Fi
rst
,weseet wo
off
icer
softhelaw.Now,I’
m wonder
ingwhat’
sgoing
on.ThenweseePoppywho’ shandsarecuf
fed.Thi
s
onejustdr
ivesof
f.Werushtothecommot i
on.
Me:
“Poppy
,what
’sgoi
ngon?
”
Poppy
:“I
t’
soverSuko.Il
ovey
ouandGr
ay.Pl
ease
passmylovet
oGigiandRumi”
Gray:
“Whatar
etheychar
gingy
ouf
or?I
’
llgety
out
he
bestl
awyermoneycanget”
Sheshakesherhead.
Poppy
:“Don’
t.Thi
sismyf
ate”
Atleastt heoff
icersaregent
lywithher.Iknowshe
hasn’tev enhealedfr
om thebaby.Don’ttheythr
ead
theirvaginasorsomet hi
ngaftergiv
ingbirt
h?Ifeel
useless, t
earssil
entl
yfal
lasIwat chmybestf ri
end
beingt akenaway .Whydidn’
tIdosomet hing?

*
***
**
Unedi
ted.