Get Baked - Rich Myers

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GET BAKED®
RICH MYERS
SENSATIONAL CAKES,
BAKES & DESSERTS
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INTRODUCTION
KIT LIST
CHOCOLATE
NUTS
FRUIT
SPICE
SUGAR
BRUCE
INDEX
THANKS
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INTRODUCTION
I have been a lover of food for as
long as I can remember. It’s a
passion that I inherited from my
dad, and when I was a kid, I loved
nothing more than spending my
Saturdays watching countless hours
of cookery shows with him.
I am not a trained chef, or pastry
chef, or even a baker. It has always
been my intention that GET
BAKED® embodies a philosophy
that spends less time focusing on
complicated combinations and
techniques that don’t really matter
and more time focusing on creating
desserts that just taste delicious.
It might seem disingenuous to
say this, considering this book contains a recipe for a preposterously large
24-layer chocolate cake, but I’m really not one for novelty. Every
component of every recipe exists because it makes sense and elevates the
finished product. There’s a temptation in the bakery world nowadays to just
shower everything with shop-bought chocolate bars and biscuits – you
won’t find any of that here.
I am known on social media as being someone that has somewhat of an
unusual writing style – one that’s particularly dry and, more often than not,
a little bit out there. I have done everything I can, within the constraints of a
recipe book, to impart as much of my personality as possible into the pages
that follow.
Whether you’re a die-hard GET BAKED® fan, or you’ve never heard
of us and have just picked this up because you think it looks tasty, I hope
you enjoy reading this book as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it.
That wasn’t entirely honest because I haven’t enjoyed writing it.
It’s ruined my life for the last 9 months, but it’s over now.
I don’t mean my life’s over, I mean the book’s over because I’ve
finished writing it.
My life has just begun, and so has yours.
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KIT LIST
Before I carry on, you’ll notice that
the liquid measurements in this book
are given in grams rather than
millilitres. At GET BAKED®, we
weigh everything, even water. This
is more consistent and means you
don’t have to get down to eye level
with a measuring jug every ten
minutes of your life, which – let’s be
honest – nobody needs to be dealing
with right now. So yeah, moral of
the story, weigh your liquids. Weigh
your eggs out of their shells (the
average egg weighs approximately
50g/1¾oz if that helps).
Whenever you’re doing anything
that requires quite a few ingredients,
it’s always best to weigh everything out at the beginning, rather than
weighing some stuff, preparing it, weighing more stuff, preparing it, and so
on. Being organised makes everything a lot more fun, and weighing
ingredients separately is amateur. In professional cookery, you’d refer to
this as ‘mise en place’, which is French fancy talk for ‘putting in place’.
You’re essentially a French patisserie chef now, so start acting like it.
You’ll notice that all the sprinkles used in this book are my brand,
expen$ive sprinkles. You could use any type of sprinkle in their place, but
mine are superior.
Note that all recipes were tested in a fan assisted oven.
Most of the stuff on this kit list is available from your favourite online retailers.
→ Heatproof spatula (the bakery version of a spatula, not the thing you use to
flip a burger)
→ Non-serrated cook’s knife (make sure it’s sharp because dull knives are a lot
more dangerous than sharp ones)
→ Offset palette knife
→ Box grater
→ Pastry brush
→ Ice cream scoop (extremely useful for stuff like cookies and truffles)
→ Silicone baking mat
→ Cake turntable
→ Cake drum
→ Food-safe gloves
→ Blowtorch
→ Piping (pastry) bag
→ Candy thermometer/temperature probe
→ Cake-release spray
→ Cake scraper
→ Food processor
→ Stand mixer (attachments: balloon whisk, dough hook, beater)
→ 30cm (12in) fluted pie tin
→ 30 x 40cm (12 x 16in) rectangular cake tin
→ 23cm (9in) cake tins (7.5cm/3in deep)
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◁ DARK CHOCOLATE TRUFFLES
A classic chocolate truffle, made with only a handful of
ingredients. Nothing says, ‘Oh look at me and my nice kitchen’ like
pulling these out with some good-quality coffee when you’re
hosting a dinner party. What a load of nonsense that is though. I
personally prefer making this sort of thing when I’m home alone.
What’s worse than inviting people to your house? Literally nothing.
Try steeping some Earl Grey tea bags in the cream overnight
for a floral (and wholly unnecessary) middle-class addition to
something that’s already perfectly good as it is.
Also, there’s no requirement to use cocoa powder to coat your
truffles – it’s just a classic way to finish them. You can use literally
anything, within reason. Proceed with caution though: I once used
French beans and it went down like a lead balloon.
MAKES
20 truffles
INGREDIENTS
600g (1lb 5oz) 55–70% dark chocolate

600g (1lb 5oz) double (heavy) cream
5g (⅛oz) sea salt (Maldon is ideal)
approx. 50g (1¾oz) cocoa powder to coat (enough to fill a small bowl and cover
the truffles)
METHOD
Make the ganache exactly the same way it’s made in the recipe for Salted
Dark Chocolate Ganache.
Once emulsified, decant the ganache into a 5cm (2in)-deep tray and leave to
cool at room temperature. Once the ganache has set, you’re ready to make
your truffles. You need to set up a little truffle station: place your cocoa
powder (not French beans) into a small bowl, half-fill another small bowl
with some warm water and place a teaspoon in the bowl of water to warm
the spoon. You’re also going to want a clean towel to dry off your spoon in
between truffle scooping.
Using the teaspoon, scoop a truffle ball and drop it straight from the spoon
into the bowl of cocoa powder. Carefully roll the truffle in the cocoa
powder, then remove it from the bowl and place it on a clean tray lined with
foil or greaseproof paper. Repeat the process until the mixture’s all used up,
remembering to dry your teaspoon in between scooping so that you don’t
end up with any excess water on your truffles.
Your truffles are good to eat straight away, but if you prefer a firmer bite,
you can place them in the fridge, where they’ll keep ever so happily for up
to one month.
◁ CAMPFIRE PIE
Campfire is one of those pies that’ll always be on the menu at GET
BAKED®. It’s simple, looks impressive and tastes sensational. Its
namesake takes inspiration from singing ‘Kumbaya, my Lord’
while toasting marshmallows at Cub Scouts as a youth. I never
actually went to Cub Scouts and I’ve definitely never sung
‘Kumbaya’, but I feel like if I did, this pie would capture it
exquisitely. If you’ve got friends coming over for drinks on a
summer’s evening, and you want to impress them, then it’s
Campfire, all day long.
MAKES
10 generous portions
or 14 normal portions
INGREDIENTS
For the digestive biscuit crust

500g (1lb 2oz) chocolate digestive biscuits
5g (⅛oz) sea salt
200g (7oz) unsalted butter, cubed
For the filling

600g (1lb 5oz) Salted Dark Chocolate Ganache
500g (1lb 2oz) Italian meringue
To finish
10g (¼oz) 55–70% dark chocolate
METHOD
Blitz the chocolate digestive biscuits and salt to a fine crumb in a food
processor, then decant into a mixing bowl. In a microwave-safe bowl, melt
your butter for about 1 minute 30 seconds in the microwave, until it’s
totally melted. Add the melted butter to your bowl of crumbs and, using
your hands, as they’re the best tool for the job, thoroughly mix until it has
the consistency of wet sand. It’s important to make sure that there are no
dry patches and that the butter is evenly distributed throughout the mixture.
If the mix is feeling a little dry, melt another 50g (1¾oz) of butter and add a
tablespoon at a time until you reach the desired consistency.
While it’s still warm, transfer the mixture to a 30cm (12in) fluted pie dish
and firmly press the crust into the pie dish using your knuckles, making
sure to cover the sides as well as the base. There’s no right or wrong way to
do this, you’re just pressing fun stuff into a pie dish. It can look as perfect
or as rustic as you like, it really doesn’t matter because ultimately the whole
thing is going to be covered and you’re hardly going to see any of it. Just
enjoy yourself and stop taking everything so seriously – you’re making a
pie, not voting in a general election. Once your knuckles can’t take any
more, put the pie dish in the fridge to set. You can do this well in advance,
even days before, which is great if you’re hosting friends and want to
actually enjoy yourself.
While your pie crust is chilling, make the Salted Dark Chocolate Ganache.
By the time you’re done, the pie crust will be set. Pour the ganache into the
pie crust and put it back in the fridge to set. It’ll take at least 2 hours for
your ganache to fully set, so during this time you can get on with your life
and take comfort in the form of resting on a soft fabric.
When it comes to topping the pie with Italian meringue, you’ve got two
options. You can pre-top the pie and put it back in the fridge, or you can top
the pie right before serving, which looks impressive and will convince your
guests that you’re some sort of expert.
To top the pie, carefully spoon mounds of your pillowy-soft meringue on
top of the ganache. It’s important that you’re not heavy-handed, because
you’ll knock too much air out of the meringue and it’ll look less
voluptuous. The idea is to create the appearance of flames: you can do this
by flicking the meringue using the back of the spatula and pulling it up.
Imagine the conductor of an orchestra flicking his wand-thing and re-enact
the scene. You are the conductor, and the meringue is your orchestra.
When you’re all flicked out, torch the meringue using a blowtorch. Don’t
hold the blowtorch over the same bit for too long, or you’ll burn the
meringue. The easiest way to ensure this doesn’t happen is to place the pie
on top of a cake turntable and turn the pie with one hand, while holding the
blowtorch in the other. If you constantly turn the turntable, the meringue
won’t catch and you’ll get a nice, even toasting.
To finish, using the finest side of a box grater, carefully grate the dark
chocolate all over the top of your pie.
◁ O.G. BROWNIES
The original and the best. In my opinion brownies should NOT be
cakey. Cakey consistencies are reserved for cakes. Brownies should
be dense, fudgy and incredibly rich. Some ‘bakers’ try to fake it, by
essentially serving underbaked brownies, and passing them off as
‘gooey’. They’re charlatans, and you shouldn’t listen to them. If,
after a few minutes in the oven, you notice a very thin, paper-like
layer forming on top of your brownies, then congratulations,
you’ve nailed it. If you don’t, you’ve done something wrong along
the way.
I’m not a charlatan. I’m just a young boy from West Yorkshire
trying to help you on your path to baking delicious stuff.
MAKES
10–16 slices, depends how big you want ’em
INGREDIENTS
750g (1lb 10oz) caster (superfine) sugar

300g (10½oz) light brown sugar
520g (1lb 2½oz) 55% dark chocolate
520g (1lb 2½oz) unsalted butter, plus extra for greasing
460g (1lb ¼oz) eggs
380g (13½oz) plain (all-purpose) flour, sifted
140g (5oz) cocoa powder, sifted
5g (⅛oz) sea salt
icing (powdered) sugar, for dusting (optional)
METHOD
Preheat your oven to 160°C (320°F/gas 3).

Put the sugars in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment
and set to one side while you melt the chocolate and butter together in a
medium heavy-bottomed saucepan over a medium heat (if your chocolate is
in bar form, chop the pieces first so that they melt more easily). You’re
going to need to stir often. If you don’t stir it, and the chocolate catches at
the bottom of the pan, your mixture is going to go grainy and the chocolate
will taste bitter. There’s really no way back from this, so don’t let it happen.
While the mixture is melting, add your eggs to the sugars and mix on high
speed for a few minutes, or until the mixture looks pale and airy. As soon as
the mixture has reached this consistency, turn the mixer down to the lowest
speed and wait for your chocolate mixture to finish emulsifying.
When the chocolate mixture looks glossy and there are no lumps, pour it
directly into the sugar and eggs and continue to mix on low speed until
everything has combined. At this point you’ll need to scrape down the
bottom and sides of the mixer bowl because there’ll be some sugar stuck to
it, and if you don’t combine it at this stage, you’ll get crunchy bits of sugar
in your brownies, which isn’t the worst thing to have ever happened in your
life, but it’s a pretty close second.
Remove the bowl from the stand mixer and add the flour, cocoa powder and
salt. Fold them in using a spatula or wooden spoon, just until you can no
longer see the dry ingredients. It’s crucial that you don’t overmix the flour,
or you’ll end up with a cakey brownie, which is my idea of hell on earth.
Shmear a 30 x 40cm (12 x 16in) rectangular cake tin with a generous
helping of butter and line with baking parchment. It helps if you leave some
excess baking parchment on two sides of the tin (roughly 5cm/2in above the
edge of the tin) so you can pull the brownies out easily once they’re cooked.
Pour your brownie batter into the tin. Our recipe results in a particularly
thick brownie batter, so you’ll need to use a small offset palette knife or the
back of a spoon to spread the mixture evenly across the tin.
Bake your brownie mixture in the oven for 25 minutes. It should still be
gooey, and a toothpick inserted into the mixture should come out pretty
filthy. If it comes out clean, you’ve overbaked and your brownies won’t be
as fudgy. They’ll still be pretty good, but you’ve essentially failed.
Remove the tin from the oven and set it to one side until it’s at room
temperature – about 30 minutes should do it – then bang it into the fridge
for at least 8 hours, ideally overnight. Setting in the fridge is absolutely
crucial if you want to achieve the dense, fudgy brownie that we’re known
for. Once chilled, remove from the fridge and top with a generous helping
of sifted icing (powdered) sugar. This is optional, but it’s true to how we
serve our O.G. Brownie.
Remove the slab from the tin and slice into brownies, as big or small as you
want, I honestly don’t care. They’re pretty rich though, so you can slice
smaller than you probably think is necessary. I recommend using a sharp,
non-serrated cook’s knife; you won’t get a clean finish using a serrated
knife. If you want to go all out, run the knife under the hot tap and then dry
it off before slicing and clean the knife with warm water and a clean cloth
in between each slice. Do this and your brownies will look utterly
sensational.
Once sliced, they’ll keep for up to 7 days in an airtight container, and it’s up
to you whether or not you keep them in the fridge. At GET BAKED®, we
serve them cold, straight from the fridge, because I really like them that
way, but it’s your rodeo. They also freeze incredibly well, and will be good
for up to a month.
◁ H2O TRUFFLES
These are the purest form of chocolate truffle that one can make.
They’re amazing for so many reasons. They contain hardly any
ingredients and they’re ridiculously easy to make.
These truffles make use of a ‘water ganache’ which essentially
replaces the cream in a regular ganache recipe with water. A lot of
pastry chefs actually prefer a water ganache because it allows you
to experience chocolate in its truest form, without the flavour and
textural addition of cream. It is absolutely imperative that you use
high-quality chocolate, because ultimately that’s pretty much all
you’re going to taste.
MAKES
20 truffles
INGREDIENTS
600g (1lb 5oz) 55–70% dark chocolate

600g (1lb 5oz) still water (tap is fine, we’re not all made of money)
5g (⅛oz) sea salt (Maldon is ideal)
25g (1oz) chopped nuts of your choice
METHOD
Make your Salted Dark Chocolate Ganache but replace the cream with
water. Treat the water exactly the same way the cream is treated in the
recipe, ensuring that it doesn’t come to a rolling boil. After you pour the
water into the bowl of chocolate, the chocolate will seize and it’ll look
awful, because water is chocolate’s worst enemy, but as you stir the
mixture, they will be forced to emulsify, eventually becoming one. The
ganache will look thinner than if you used cream, which is common sense
really because water is thinner than cream.
Once emulsified, decant the ganache into a 5cm (2in)-deep tray and leave to
cool at room temperature. Once the ganache has set, you’re ready to make
your truffles. You need to set up a little truffle station: place your chopped
nuts into a small bowl, half-fill another small bowl with some warm water
and place a teaspoon in the bowl of water to warm the spoon. You’re also
going to want a clean towel to dry off your spoon in between truffle
scooping.
Using the teaspoon, scoop a truffle ball and drop it straight from the spoon
into the bowl of chopped nuts. Carefully roll the truffle in the nuts, then
remove it from the bowl and place it on a clean tray lined with foil or
greaseproof paper. Repeat the process until you’re all outta truffle,
remembering to dry your teaspoon in between scooping so that you don’t
end up with any excess water on your truffles.
Your truffles are good to eat straight away, but if you prefer a firmer bite,
you can place them in the fridge, where they’ll keep ever so happily for up
to one month.
◁ TRIPLE CHOCOLATE BROWNIES
The addition of ganache and lashings of melted chocolate takes our
O.G. Brownie recipe to a whole new level. If you thought they
were rich before, prepare to get loaded.
MAKES
INGREDIENTS
For the brownie
5g (⅛oz) sea salt
For the triple chocolate topping

400g (14oz) Dark Chocolate Ganache
100g (3½oz) milk chocolate (chopped up if in bar form)
100g (3½oz) white chocolate (chopped up if in bar form)
METHOD
Follow the recipe for the O.G. Brownies.

Once your brownies have chilled, remove from the fridge and cut into
slices. You’re going to be topping the underside of your O.G. Brownies
instead of the top. If the brownies are well made, the papery layer on top
will mean that topping them is messy and unnecessarily difficult. That’s
why we top the underneath, where they’re perfectly flat.
Your brownies will look much better if your ganache is a thin, glossy liquid,
so ideally, it’s best to make it now rather than use pre-made, but it’s not the
end of the world if you don’t. It just means they’ll look less professional,
and it’ll be more likely that the people eating them have even less respect
for you than they do now. If you’re using pre-made ganache, you’re going
to need to make sure you re-melt it in 10-second bursts in the microwave.
Thoroughly stirring in between each burst is crucial, or the ganache will
overheat in certain spots and probably split.
When you’ve got a thin and glossy dark chocolate ganache, dip your
brownies into it one by one. Remember, you’re topping the underneath of
the brownies. You can submerge them as far as you desire into the warm
chocolatey liquid. At GET BAKED®, we cover about a third of the
brownie in ganache, but you can cover the whole damn thing if you want.
Once topped, place them onto a greaseproof paper-lined baking tray,
ensuring the brownies aren’t touching, or they’ll stick together as the
ganache sets, which is just annoying.
While the ganache is setting, melt the milk and white chocolate, separately,
not together, in short bursts of about 20 seconds in the microwave. Make
sure you stir in between each burst, or it’ll burn and you’ll be wasting
chocolate, which is a crime and a filthy one at that.
When your chocolates are melted, it’s time to channel your inner Jackson
Pollock. Use the back of a spoon to flick the chocolate all over the ganache-
topped brownies, the more abstract, the better. They say baking is all about
science, but this right here is an art, and the spoon is your paintbrush. Flick
away. Your Triple Chocolate Brownies will keep for up to 3 days in a sealed
container in the fridge.
◁ S’MORES BROWNIES
The textural marriage of dense, rich brownie and pillowy-soft
meringue really is something to behold. When you throw into the
mix the chewy, caramelised crust that you get when you set it on
fire, the whole thing just gets downright ridiculous.
Making the meringue well can take a bit of practice, but it’s a
bit like riding a bike, without the whole braking too suddenly and
flying face-first over the handlebars while Danny Griffin laughs
about how much of a loser you are. It’s not like that. I’m over it
anyway.
MAKES
INGREDIENTS
For the brownie

5g (⅛oz) sea salt
For the Italian meringue topping

240g (8½oz) caster (superfine) sugar
80g (2¾oz) cold water
130g (4½oz) egg whites
½ tsp vanilla extract
a few digestive biscuits, crushed, to finish
METHOD

Once your brownies have chilled, remove from the fridge and slice your
brownies into 10–16 slices using a sharp cook’s knife.
Follow the instructions on this page to make your Italian meringue. You’re
probably going to make it wrong, and it won’t be as good as it would have
been if I’d made it for you, but there’s really nothing anyone can do about
that. If by some miracle you’ve pulled it off, transfer the meringue into a
piping (pastry) bag.
I don’t use any fancy nozzles because I can’t be bothered, and I just don’t
see the point. You get just as nice a finish without using one, but if you
really must, then go ahead and make it look all pretty. Pipe your meringue
onto the underside of your brownies (which should be perfectly flat) in
whatever style makes you feel good about yourself. I personally like to go
for the straight lines on an angle look, because it shows people that I’m
capable of precision, but that I also still have a bit of personality left in me.
Just a quick one: if you go for a big blob in the middle, everyone will know
you’re a loser, so don’t do that. The same can be said for any sort of flower
pattern, although that’s actually even worse.
When you’re all piped out, toast the meringue using a blowtorch and finish
off the whole ordeal with some digestive biscuit crumbs.
These brownies are best eaten on the day you make them, but if that ain’t
gonna work, you can store the O.G. Brownies in a sealed container for up to
7 days and then top with the Italian meringue before serving.
◁ SALTED CHOCOLATE COOKIES
Our cookies are quite thin: they’re a classic crispy on the edges,
chewy on the outside and soft in the middle type of affair. If you’re
looking for anything else, you’ve come to the wrong place.
MAKES
10 cookies
INGREDIENTS
140g (5oz) softened unsalted butter
110g (3¾oz) caster (superfine) sugar
140g (5oz) light brown sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 egg
140g (5oz) plain (all-purpose) flour, sifted
140g (5oz) strong white bread flour, sifted
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp bicarbonate of soda (baking soda)
1 tsp sea salt, plus an extra pinch to finish
250g (9oz) 55% dark chocolate buttons, or a bar chopped into chunks
METHOD
Start by creaming the butter and sugars together in the bowl of a stand
mixer fitted with the beater attachment until pale and fluffy. Add the vanilla
to your egg, then add to the butter and sugar mixture. Using the beater
attachment, mix for 1 minute, or until emulsified, then scrape down the base
and sides of the bowl. Weigh out the flours, baking powder, bicarbonate of
soda (baking soda) and salt and add to the bowl. Beat on the lowest speed
until the mixture comes together. Add the chocolate and beat until it’s
mixed evenly throughout.
Using an ice cream scoop, or your hands, scoop the mixture into ten 100g
(3½oz) pucks and place onto a greaseproof paper-lined tray. Cover the tray
in cling film (plastic wrap) and put it into the fridge for at least 24 hours (at
most 72 hours). Letting the pucks chill before baking them makes all the
difference. It gives the cookies a depth of flavour that you just can’t achieve
without letting them rest. Be patient – your cookies will be good if you rush
the process, but sensational if you don’t. If you absolutely must bake the
cookies on the same day, try to give them at least 6 hours to chill before
baking.
When you’re ready to bake, preheat your oven to 150°C (300°F/gas 2).
Split the ten pucks across two greaseproof paper-lined baking trays, leaving
enough space between them to allow for spreading in the oven.
Bake for 12–15 minutes, or until the cookies resemble cookies. If they’re
still bulging in the centre, then they’re not ready yet. Remove from the oven
and sprinkle with sea salt while still warm (if you wait until they’ve cooled,
the salt won’t stick). The salt really helps to bring out the flavour of the
chocolate, but don’t use too much, or it’ll taste salty, and quite literally
nobody wants a salty cookie.
The cookies will keep for up to 2 days in an airtight container but are best
eaten on the day you make them. Don’t be tempted to eat them when
they’re still hot out of the oven, because despite what you see in the movies,
they need time to rest, and a cookie fresh out of the oven is nowhere near as
good as you’d hope it would be.
◁ SALTED DARK CHOCOLATE GANACHE
Ganache is a staple in any baker’s kitchen. There’s nothing
complicated going on here, it’s just an emulsification of chocolate
and cream, but in the wrong hands it’ll turn into an oily, grainy
mess. What you’re about to read should ensure that doesn’t happen.
I’ll also tell you how to fix it when stuff goes wrong.
MAKES
Approx. 600g (1lb 5oz), or enough to top a Campfire Pie
INGREDIENTS
300g (10½oz) 55–70% good-quality dark chocolate (the better the chocolate, the
better the ganache)
300g (10½oz) double (heavy) cream
5g (⅛oz) sea salt (Maldon ideally, it’s just better that way)
METHOD
Okay let’s start with the chocolate. If it’s in bar form, you’re going to need
to chop it using a non-serrated cook’s knife. The finer you chop the
chocolate, the easier it’ll melt with the cream, but small chunks are totally
fine. If you’re using buttons (or callets as we call them in the industry) or
chocolate chips then you’re good to go. Put your chocolate into a stainless
steel or heatproof glass bowl and set aside.
Heat your cream in a small, heavy-bottomed saucepan over a medium heat.
Use a heatproof silicone spatula to gently stir the cream so that it doesn’t
catch at the bottom of the pan. If your cream scalds, you’ll see burnt bits in
the pan. At this point it’s Goodnight Vienna and you’ll be starting again, so
it’s important that you don’t leave the cream to its own devices. Don’t get
impatient and be tempted to turn up the heat, just relax and enjoy stirring
the cream. You don’t want to boil the cream, you want to take it to a
simmer. When you see small bubbles forming and the cream has been
steaming for a few seconds, remove from the heat and pour it directly onto
your chocolate.
Don’t even think about touching the chocolate and cream for a few minutes.
If you start stirring straight away, you’re going to cool the cream down too
soon, so just let the hot cream do its thing and melt the chocolate itself for a
while. After two minutes, using the same heatproof spatula, stir the
chocolate and cream until the mixture is glossy and smooth and the
chocolate has totally melted. The best advice anyone ever gave me when it
comes to mixing ingredients in a bowl is to look after the sides, and the
middle will look after itself.
So, at this point, one of three things will have happened:
1. You have a silky-smooth mixture that resembles the best chocolate
sauce you’ve ever seen in your life.
2. You have a nice mixture, but there’s some chocolate still in there that
just won’t melt.
3. You have split the ganache, and it looks bad. Very bad.
If you’ve got some chocolate in there that hasn’t melted, just fill a saucepan
a third full of water and put it over a medium heat. When the water begins
to boil, turn the heat all the way down and place your bowl over the water.
Congratulations, you have mastered the bain-marie. Using your spatula,
mix the ganache until the chocolate has melted and then remove the bowl
from the heat immediately. If you overheat the ganache, you will split the
mixture.
If you’ve split the ganache, it’s not the end of the world, it’s just another
few minutes of your life that you’ll never get back. The easiest way to bring
back a split ganache is by adding cold water to your mixture one teaspoon
at a time until your ganache emulsifies and looks glossy. Once your
ganache looks sensational, add the salt. The salt brings out the natural
flavour of the chocolate and just makes it more chocolatey. It won’t make
your ganache salty, just make sure you use the measurements I’ve
suggested.
At this point, your ganache is ready, however there’s one more step you can
take to ensure that it’s perfectly smooth, and to be honest, it will make all
the difference. Even though your ganache might look silky, there’s probably
tiny bits of chocolate that haven’t totally melted. If you have a stick blender,
I would strongly recommend giving the mixture some more of your time
and blending it for around 5 minutes, ensuring that you keep the blender
submerged at all times or you'll incorporate air into the ganache. Like I said,
this isn’t essential and your ganache will be fine if you don’t do this, but if
you do it’ll be exceptional.
You can use your ganache straight away as a glaze for chocolate cake, or
pour it into a pie crust for one of the layers in one of our pie recipes.
Alternatively, you can directly cover the surface of the mixture with cling
film (plastic wrap) – so that it doesn’t form a skin – and keep it refrigerated
for up to a month. As your ganache cools, it’ll set and become spreadable.
After a few hours at room temperature, it’ll be the perfect consistency to
use for a layer cake, either in between the sponge layers or around the
outside.
TIPTo make Boozy Ganache, swap out half of the double (heavy) cream for
150g (5½oz) of your favourite alcoholic spirit. I really love using a good-
quality bourbon – it works so well with chocolate. Another great shout is
vodka. It’s not my drink of choice whatsoever, but it’s actually a great
pairing with good-quality dark chocolate.
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◁ PBJ PIE
It’s the classic American combo, but in pie form. Steer clear of the
new-age peanut butters that are better for your health. You’re going
to need proper old school peanut butter.
SERVES
10–14
INGREDIENTS
For the digestive biscuit crust
700g (1lb 9oz) digestive biscuits
5g (⅛oz) sea salt
250g (9oz) raspberry jam
For the peanut butter ganache

500g (1lb 2oz) white chocolate
300g (10½oz) smooth peanut butter
For the raspberry cream

50g (1¾oz) freeze-dried raspberries
Pink food colouring (use as suggested on packaging)
METHOD
Blitz the digestive biscuits and salt in a food processor (or with a rolling
pin) to a fine crumb, then decant into a mixing bowl. Melt your butter in the
microwave in a microwave-safe container for about 1 minute and 30
seconds, or until it’s totally melted. Add the melted butter to your bowl of
crumbs and mix thoroughly, making sure there are no dry patches. Press the
mixture into your 30cm (12in) pie tin while the mixture is still warm. If you
leave it too long, it’ll become much less pliable. You can make your pie
crust in advance and freeze it for up to a month – it won’t lose any quality
whatsoever.
Once you’ve lined your tin, bang it in the fridge for 10 minutes to firm up.
After 10 minutes, evenly spread the raspberry jam onto the crust and put it
back in the fridge.
Now onto the peanut butter ganache. Heat the double (heavy) cream, white
chocolate and peanut butter in a heavy-bottomed saucepan over a very low
heat. White chocolate splits notoriously easily, so be very careful not to
overheat the mixture. Stir thoroughly using a heatproof spatula, paying
extra attention to the bottom and sides of the pan. Take the ganache off the
heat when you can still see a small amount of white chocolate pieces. If you
continue to stir, the heat inside the pan will melt the remaining chocolate.
When the ganache is smooth, pour it on top of the raspberry jam and put it
into the fridge to chill. While your ganache is chilling, get on with making
your raspberry cream. To do this, first blitz your freeze-dried raspberries in
a food processor, or using a pestle and mortar. You want them to resemble a
very fine sand. Then put the double cream, pink food colouring and most of
the raspberry dust into the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk
attachment and whisk using the method for Properly Whipped Cream on
page 84. Once whipped, put it into a piping (pastry) bag and pipe large
blobs all over the top of the set peanut butter ganache layer. You don’t need
to pipe it on, you could just spread it using the back of a spoon, but
sometimes it’s nice to put a bit of effort in.
Finish by sprinkling some more raspberry dust over the top. PBJ will keep
perfectly well for up to 3 days in the fridge.
◁ PEANUT BRITTLE
You can replace the peanuts in this recipe for any other nut that you
might prefer if peanuts aren’t your thing. You’re going to need a
silicone baking mat, although baking parchment will suffice, but a
silicone mat is inexpensive and you’ll get plenty of use out of it.
MAKES
Enough to make your mother-in-law realise that you’re better than she is
INGREDIENTS
100g (3½oz) flaked shelled peanuts (blanched and unsalted)

475g (1lb ½oz) caster (superfine) sugar
160g (5½oz) cold water
METHOD
Toast your peanuts in a dry frying pan (skillet) over a medium heat for
around 3–4 minutes, tossing them every minute or so to make sure that they
don’t catch and burn. Toasting the peanuts is essential, because it’ll release
the oils and bring out all of the nutty flavour that you expect to get from a
peanut. If you miss this step, you’ll hardly taste them in your brittle. When
the air is filled with a nutty aroma and your peanuts have started to take on
a light brown colour, turn off the heat and leave them to rest in the pan.
Combine the caster (superfine) sugar and water in a heavy-bottomed
saucepan, give it a stir to ensure that there’s no sugar stuck to the bottom of
the pan, and place over a medium heat. You’re making what’s called a ‘wet
caramel’, because it’s got water in it. A ‘dry caramel’ would just be sugar,
but a wet caramel works best for this recipe as it is slightly thinner. Don’t
leave the pan unattended, because caramel has an incredibly annoying habit
of burning when you leave it to its own devices, but don’t mess around with
it either.
It’s handy to have a small bowl of water and a pastry brush to hand to brush
some water down the sides of the pan, as any exposed sugar around the
edge of the pan may start to crystallise. You’ll notice the colour of the sugar
syrup starting to turn golden. At first, it’ll just be the teeniest glimmer of
amber, but as it continues to reduce, you’ll see the colour changing quite
quickly. When your caramel reaches a deep amber colour, remove the pan
from the heat and carefully add the toasted peanuts. Using a heatproof
silicone spatula, mix the peanuts into the caramel and then pour it into the
middle of a baking sheet lined with a silicone mat. You can use the spatula
to help the caramel disperse itself evenly across the mat.
Set to one side and leave to cool for 30 minutes. The caramel will be
incredibly hot, so be careful when lifting the baking sheet. When you come
back to the caramel, it should have turned to brittle and be see-through, like
a stained-glass window. A nut ridden, caramel-laden stained-glass window.
◁ PEANUT AND CARAMEL BROWNIES
I know what you’re thinking. They look messy don’t they. They are
messy. They’re very messy. There’s nothing wrong with a bit of
mess every now and again. Out of chaos comes clarity (I just made
that up).
MAKES
INGREDIENTS
For the brownie

5g (⅛oz) sea salt
For the peanut butter and dark chocolate ganache

500g (1lb 2oz) 55% dark chocolate (chopped up if in bar form)
50g (1¾oz) smooth peanut butter
To finish
500g (1lb 2oz) Caramel
100g (3½oz) unsalted flaked peanuts
METHOD

To make the ganache, put the dark chocolate and peanut butter in a mixing
bowl and pour the double (heavy) cream into a heavy-bottomed saucepan.
Warm the cream over a medium heat until it comes to a simmer then
immediately pour it on top of the chocolate and peanut butter. Leave for a
minute or two, then use a heatproof spatula to mix the ingredients until
combined. For tips on making ganache, see the Salted Dark Chocolate
Ganache recipe.
When you’ve got a glossy ganache, dip your brownies into it one by one,
remembering to top the underneath of the brownies, not the papery top.
Once topped, place them onto a greaseproof paper-lined baking tray,
ensuring the brownies aren’t touching.
While the ganache sets, follow the recipe on this page to make the caramel.
While the caramel is cooling, toast the peanuts in a dry frying pan over a
medium heat for a few minutes, tossing occasionally. You’ll know the
peanuts are ready because they’ll release their oils, and you’ll get a strong
whiff of peanuts. They’ll also start to darken slightly. Make sure you don’t
burn them, or they’ll taste bitter. Once toasted, leave to cool.
By now, your ganache will be set. If your caramel is still too warm, and
hasn’t thickened up enough yet to be pipeable, you can bang it in the fridge
for ten minutes to speed up the process. The consistency that you’re looking
for is somewhere in between spoonable and pourable. If that makes sense,
that’s what you’re looking for. If it doesn’t, then I can’t help you.
Spoon or pour (or sort of pour while spooning at the same time) the caramel
into a piping (pastry) bag. Pipe lines of caramel onto the ganache and
immediately top with the toasted peanuts.
Leave to set at room temperature until your caramel cools and thickens.
Store the brownies in an airtight container for up to 3 days, or in the fridge
for up to 5 days. They’ll freeze incredibly well, even with the toppings on,
for up to one month.
◁ MR PISTACHIO PIE
I love pistachio. Like, I really love pistachio. It all started in
Venice’s Lido di Jesolo in 1993. I was five years old, and we got
some gelato. I didn’t even know what pistachio was, I just
remember thinking ‘this green ice cream is sensational’.
Nobody other than my wife knows this, but a few years ago I
had an Instagram account called ‘Monsieur Pistache’ where I
reviewed pistachio ice cream from around the world. I say from
around the world, but it only actually stretched as far as Blackpool.
Either way, it was a thoroughly enjoyable couple of weeks. I gave
up because no one cared enough to follow me.
SERVES
10–14
INGREDIENTS
For the toasted waffle crust

250g (9oz) shop-bought Belgian waffles
250g (9oz) oat biscuits
5g (⅛oz) sea salt
300g (10½oz) unsalted butter, cubed
For the pistachio ganache

500g (1lb 2oz) white chocolate (chopped up if in bar form)
300g (10½oz) pistachio crème
For the raspberry mallow

50g (1¾oz) freeze-dried raspberries, plus extra to decorate
METHOD

Blitz the Belgian waffles to a fine crumb in a food processor (or bash the
hell out of them with a rolling pin). Once you’ve pulverised the living
daylights out of them, bang the crumbs on a baking tray and toast in your
oven for 15 minutes or until they’ve browned slightly and your kitchen
smells utterly sensational. While your waffles are in the oven, pulverise the
oat biscuits and decant them into a mixing bowl. Add your toasted waffle
crumb and sea salt to the bowl and give everything a mix.
Melt your butter in the microwave in a heatproof, microwave-safe container
until it’s totally melted. About 1 minute 30 seconds should do it. Add the
melted butter to your bowl of crumbs and mix thoroughly using your hands,
ensuring even distribution of melted butter. You don’t want any dry patches,
not now, not ever.
Press the mixture into your 30cm (12in) pie tin straight away, while the
mixture is still warm, making sure to line the sides as well as the base. If
you leave it too long, the butter will set, and it’ll become much less pliable.
If you like, you can make this in advance, and then just reheat the crumb in
the microwave in short 15-second blasts.
Once you’ve lined your tin, bang it in the fridge to firm up for 10 minutes.
If you’re that way inclined, you can make your pie crusts in advance and
freeze them. They’ll be good in the freezer for up to a month and won’t lose
any quality whatsoever.
Now onto the pistachio ganache. Put the double (heavy) cream, white
chocolate and pistachio crème in a heavy-bottomed saucepan and place
over a very low heat, stirring continuously with a heatproof spatula. Be very
careful not to overheat the mixture, because white chocolate splits
notoriously easily. I’d recommend removing it from the heat every 30
seconds or so, so that it doesn’t get too hot. As you stir, pay extra-close
attention to the bottom and sides of the pan. Remove the pan from the heat
when you can still see a small amount of white chocolate pieces. If you
continue to stir, the heat still inside the pan will melt the remaining
chocolate without it getting too hot.
When the ganache is smooth, pour it into the toasted waffle crust and put it
into the fridge to chill. While your ganache is chilling, get on with making
your raspberry mallow. To do this, first blitz your freeze-dried raspberries in
a food processor, or a pestle and mortar. You want them to resemble a very
fine sand, which isn’t difficult, because they break apart like nobody’s
business. Our raspberry mallow is actually just Italian meringue with
raspberry in it. I just like the word mallow. Sue me. Anyway, to make the
fraudulent mallow, follow the Italian meringue recipe on page 52. When the
meringue is just about ready, pour in the raspberry dust and continue to
whisk until the meringue turns pink and tastes all fruity.
When the meringue/mallow/lies and deceit is ready, dollop mounds of it all
over your freshly chilled pistachio pie. Once the bowl is empty, and the pie
is covered, place it on a cake turntable and, using a small offset palette
knife, smooth out the mallow (lies) while turning the pie. It’s very hard to
explain this in words, and I’m close to giving up. Look at the photo and try
to copy that. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t really matter because it will still
taste good. Finish the pie by blitzing another small handful of freeze-dried
raspberries and sprinkling them on top.
To enjoy him at his absolute best, serve Mr Pistachio on the day he’s made.
He can be kept in the fridge overnight, but his raspberry cape of lies will
start to lose its voluptuousness and I genuinely can’t believe that’s a word.
◁ SMOKY PECAN COOKIES
The smoked sea salt in this recipe changes the whole dynamic of
the situation entirely. If you’ve never tried it, you’re missing out.
The savoury notes that you get from the smoky salt make for a
truly unique cookie experience.
MAKES
10 cookies
INGREDIENTS
For the cookies

1 egg
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp sea salt
100g (3½oz) pecan halves, roughly chopped
To finish
150g (5½oz) Caramel
1 tsp smoked sea salt, for the top (Maldon make a great smoked sea salt)
METHOD
Start by creaming the butter and sugars together in the bowl of a stand
mixer fitted with the beater attachment until pale and fluffy. Add the vanilla
to your egg, then add to the butter and sugar mixture. Using the beater
attachment, mix for 1 minute, or until emulsified, then scrape down the base
and sides of the bowl. Weigh out the flours, baking powder, bicarbonate of
soda (baking soda) and salt, and add to the bowl. Beat on the lowest speed
until the mixture comes together. Add the chopped pecans and beat until it’s
mixed evenly throughout.
in clingfilm (plastic wrap) and put it into the fridge for at least 24 hours (at
most 72 hours). If you absolutely must bake the cookies on the same day,
try to give them at least 6 hours to chill before baking.
enough space between them to allow for spreading in the oven. Our cookies
are quite thin: they’re a classic, crispy on the edges, chewy on the outside,
and soft in the middle type of affair.
still bulging in the centre, then they’re not ready yet. When they’re baked,
leave to cool. While they’re resting, make the caramel using the recipe on
page 102. By the time you’ve finished making your caramel, your cookies
will be cool enough to finish. Finish them by throwing caramel all over
them in the most aggressive fashion you can muster. Move your shoulders
and everything. The application of the caramel onto the cookies requires a
full body workout. You should be dripping with sweat post caramelisation.
Then, when you can hardly move, sprinkle the smoked sea salt on top.
The cookies will keep for up to 2 days in an airtight container but are best
eaten on the day you make them. Don’t be tempted to eat them when
they’re still hot out of the oven; they need time to rest.
◁ PIETRO PIE
I named this pie after the fella that founded Ferrero. Can you
imagine being the man responsible for introducing Nutella to the
world? I can’t even begin to think how much this guy must have
loved hazelnuts. There’s a rumour going round that he would only
bathe in water filtered through his beloved nuts. But it’s not true – I
made it up.
SERVES
10–14
INGREDIENTS
For the chocolate biscuit crust

500g (1lb 2oz) bourbon biscuits
5g (⅛oz) sea salt
For the chocolate cremeux

125g (4¼oz) 55% dark chocolate, chopped up if in bar form
100g (3½oz) whole milk
30g (1oz) egg yolk
30g (1oz) caster (superfine) sugar
For the hazelnut ganache

250g (9oz) 70% dark chocolate, chopped up if in bar form
250g (9oz) double (heavy) cream
5g (⅛oz) sea salt
250g (9oz) Nutella
500g (1lb 2oz) hazelnut crème
To finish
50g (1¾oz) roasted hazelnuts, chopped
METHOD
Blitz the bourbon biscuits and salt in a food processor to a fine crumb (or
use a rolling pin), then decant into a mixing bowl. Melt your butter in the
microwave in a microwave-safe container until it’s totally melted. About 1
minute 30 seconds should do it. Add the melted butter to your bowl of
crumbs and mix thoroughly, ensuring even distribution of melted butter.
Press the mixture into your 30cm (12in) pie tin straight away. If you like,
you can make this in advance, and then just reheat the crumb in the
microwave in short 15-second blasts.
Once you’ve lined your tin, bang it in the fridge to firm up. Ten minutes
later it’s ready to fill. You can make your pie crust in advance and freeze it
for up to a month – it won’t lose any quality whatsoever.
Now, make the chocolate cremeux. Cremeux is a fancy name for a thick
chocolate custard. It’s sensational, and once you’ve nailed it, you’ll want to
put it on everything. Including your partner.
First, melt the dark chocolate in short, 30 second bursts in the microwave
and set to one side. Mix the milk and cream together in a heavy-bottomed
saucepan and gently warm over a low heat. Meanwhile, use a small balloon
whisk to whisk the egg yolk and sugar together in a bowl until pale – a
minute or so should do it. When the milk and cream mixture is hot, but not
boiling, pour a small amount over the eggs and sugar and whisk to combine.
This is to temper the eggs, to ensure that they don’t scramble. If you added
them straight to the hot cream, they could cook, and your custard would be
lumpy. This most likely wouldn’t actually happen, but it’s better to be safe
than sorry.
Once combined, pour the eggs, sugar and cream mixture into the pan and
stir. Do not stop stirring. The mixture will now start to thicken and resemble
custard. Use a probe thermometer to monitor the temperature, because you
don’t want it to get above 82°C (180°F). It’s best to keep the heat low, so
you have more control over what’s going on – if it’s too hot, it’ll start to
boil and things will get a bit stressful.
Just take your time, you’re making custard not representing your country in
the Olympics. As soon as the temperature has reached 82°C (180°F),
remove from the heat and pour straight onto your melted chocolate.
Leave for 1 minute before stirring, so you don’t knock all of the heat out of
the bowl. After a minute, stir the custard into the chocolate until smooth.
Try a bit on your finger at this point – it’ll be a proper dreamy mixture and
quite honestly you won’t believe it’s you that actually made it. Once the
cremeux is smooth, cover the mixture directly with cling film (plastic wrap)
so that it doesn’t form a skin and leave to cool at room temperature.
Make the hazelnut ganache by combining the dark chocolate, double
(heavy) cream, salt and Nutella in a saucepan. Stir continually over a very
low heat. Remove the pan from the heat every minute or so, continuing to
stir, to lower the temperature. Put back on the heat and repeat until the
ganache is glossy. Pour directly into the biscuit crust and place back in the
fridge to set. After about half an hour, add the layer of hazelnut crème. You
can buy hazelnut crème from supermarkets and online retailers (try
searching for ‘white chocolate hazelnut spread’). Melt the crème in a bowl
in the microwave (or in a heavy-bottomed saucepan over a medium heat)
until thin and runny. Pour on top of the hazelnut ganache layer and use the
back of a spoon to evenly spread.
By now, the cremeux should have cooled enough to be put in the fridge. It
thickens as it cools and it’ll need at least a few hours in the fridge before it’s
ready to use. You might want to make it a day in advance so that you’re not
spending your life waiting for custard to thicken – then again, you might
not.
When the cremeux is spoonable, get a spoonful of it and put it in your
mouth. Spend the next few minutes contemplating life. What have you
achieved today? How are you going to spend your remaining years? What’s
better, cheese on toast or cheese on its own? When you’re done with that,
spoon the rest of the cremeux on top of the pie and shmear it out so that it
looks nice. Then add the chopped hazelnuts and you’re done. Keep in the
fridge and eat within 3 days.
◁ ITALIAN MERINGUE
If we were caught up in some extremely bizarre set of
circumstances that resulted in me asking you to close your eyes and
think about meringue, your first thought would be how do I get out
of this hellhole, but – ultimately – you’d almost certainly conjure
up thoughts of a baked, colourless, soft but chewy sweet thing that
you’ve eaten countless times throughout your life thus far on planet
earth.
That’s French meringue. There’s nothing wrong with French
meringue, in fact I happen to quite like it, but it’s got nothing, I
repeat nothing, on Italian meringue.
When made properly, the texture of Italian meringue is like
nothing else (apart from imaginary, cartoon-style clouds) and it
carries additional flavours with such grace and decorum. In theory
it’s a super-simple recipe, but in actuality, it requires some skill and
in the wrong hands you’ll be stood there looking into a bowl of
soupy mess. Nobody wants that. So, do us all a favour and follow
the recipe properly, would you? P.S. You’re going to need a stand
mixer for this recipe. I wouldn’t attempt it without one, because
your arm will probably fall off.
MAKES
Approx. 500g (1lb 2oz), or enough to top a Lemon Meringue Pie
INGREDIENTS
475g (1lb ½oz) caster (superfine) sugar

160g (5½oz) cold water
260g (9¼oz) egg whites
METHOD
Put the caster (superfine) sugar and water in a heavy-bottomed saucepan

and set to one side.
Fat residue will stop your egg whites from properly aerating, so it’s crucial
to ensure that both your stand mixer bowl and whisk are spotlessly clean.
Wiping them down with vinegar or lemon juice is a firm favourite of pastry
chefs, but I think it’s unnecessary to be honest. Just make sure they’re clean
and you’ll be good to go. By the way, egg yolk contains fat, so when you’re
separating your eggs you need to be extra careful to make sure that you
don’t get any yolk in your whites. If you do, you’re going to need to start
again. Add the egg whites to the clean stand mixer bowl and attach the
whisk attachment.
Give the sugar and water a good stir, just enough to make sure that there’s
no sugar stuck to the bottom of the pan and place over a medium heat. Put a
candy thermometer or temperature probe into the pan and, very importantly,
don’t leave the pan unattended.
Do not stir the mixture once you have put it onto the heat, just leave it to do
its thing. When the sugar syrup reaches 115°C (240°F), turn your stand
mixer onto the highest speed and begin whipping your egg whites. In the
next couple of seconds your sugar is going to reach 120°C (250°F) and as
soon as it does you need to remove the pan from the heat, turn the stand
mixer down to low speed and slowly and steadily pour the sugar syrup into
the egg whites.
The trick is to make sure that your egg whites are just at the soft peak stage
at the point you pour in your sugar syrup. This is where skill and experience
come in – it’s like a juggling act between the eggs and the sugar. If the
sugar takes longer than normal to reach 120°C (250°F) then you’ll
overwhip your egg whites and your meringue will be foamy as opposed to
fluffy. If your eggs are under-whipped when you add your sugar syrup, then
they’ll never really whip enough and you won’t get to experience the
sensational pillowy-cloudlike mouthfeel of a properly made Italian
meringue.
When pouring the sugar syrup, make sure that you pour it down the inside
edge of the bowl and not directly onto the whisk, because the last thing you
need is boiling sugar being flung around the kitchen. No really, that’s super
dangerous, so please pour carefully.
When you’ve poured all of the sugar syrup into the egg whites, turn the
stand mixer to the highest speed. The fate of your meringue is now in the
hands of the gods. There’s nothing more to do at this point other than watch
as it gets fluffy, glossy and delicious.
After about 10 minutes of whipping, your stand mixer bowl will go from
being hot to the touch to room temperature. When you can comfortably
touch the bottom of the bowl, add your vanilla extract. Continue to whip for
another minute, or until the vanilla is evenly distributed. Believe me when I
tell you, you’ll know whether or not you’ve nailed the meringue when you
taste it. If it’s enjoyable, you’ve done something wrong. If it’s out-of-this-
world and so smooth that you can’t even feel it in your mouth, then
congratulations and welcome to Nirvana.
Your Italian meringue is ready to use straight away, as a topping on a
Campfire Pie or a Lemon Meringue Pie, or just straight out of the bowl. Try
it with some fresh, in-season strawberries and a glass of champagne. The
strawberries are optional, the champagne is not.
Italian meringue is best consumed on the day it’s made. If you’re not using
it straight away, store it in the fridge in an airtight container and consume
within 24 hours.
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◁ LEMON MERINGUE PIE
It’s a classic, and I have to be honest with you, I think we do it very
well at GET BAKED®. I am of the opinion that an LMP should be
kept extremely simple, allowing the flavour combinations to do the
talking, without any unnecessary fuss. Do me a favour and spend
the money to get the best lemons you can find. The difference it
makes to anything you’re cooking when you use a better-quality
acid is phenomenal, and this is especially the case with lemons.
You’ll want to prepare your pie in advance, because the lemon
posset will take a few hours to set, so bear this in mind before you
get all excited. Don’t worry though, you can do the meringue bit
right before you serve it and that’s the fun part anyway.
SERVES
10–14
INGREDIENTS
For the toasted waffle crust

250g (9oz) shop-bought Belgian waffles
5g (⅛oz) sea salt
300g (10½oz) unsalted butter, cubed
For the lemon posset

80g (2¾oz) light brown sugar
grated zest and juice of 4 lemons
For the Italian meringue

METHOD

Blitz the Belgian waffles to a fine crumb in a food processor (or put them in
a bag and bash them with a rolling pin). Once you’ve pulverised the living
daylights out of them, spread the crumbs out on a baking tray and toast in
the oven for 15 minutes or until they’ve browned slightly and your kitchen
smells utterly sensational. While your waffle crumb is in the oven, pulverise
the oat biscuits and decant them into a mixing bowl. Add your toasted
waffle crumb and sea salt to the bowl and give everything a mix.
Put your butter in a heatproof, microwave-safe container. Microwave for
about 1 minute 30 seconds, or until it’s totally melted. Add the melted
butter to your bowl of crumbs and mix thoroughly with your hands,
ensuring an even distribution of melted butter. You don’t want any dry
patches, not now, not ever.
Press the mixture into a 30cm (12in) pie tin straight away, while the mixture
is still warm. If you leave it too long, the butter will set and it’ll become
much less pliable. Make sure the crumb covers the base and sides of the tin.
If you like, you can make the crumb mixture in advance, then just reheat the
crumb in the microwave in short 15-second blasts.
later it’s ready to fill. If you’re that way inclined, you can make your pie
crust in advance and freeze it. It’ll be good in the freezer for up to a month
and won’t lose any quality whatsoever.
Now onto the lemon posset. It’s super simple, and hardly anything can go
wrong, so relax and enjoy the ride. Heat the cream in a heavy-bottomed
saucepan over a medium heat, stirring continually so that it doesn’t catch
and burn at the bottom. After a few minutes, or when the cream is starting
to get warm enough to take an extremely relaxing bath in, add the sugars,
lemon juice and zest to the pan and continue to stir.
Bring the cream to a simmer, but don’t let it boil. Continue stirring and let it
do its thing for a few minutes, adjusting the heat accordingly so that it
doesn’t get too hot, then take it off the heat. You want to make sure that the
sugar has completely dissolved, which it should have done, but you can
check by rubbing a small amount of the mixture between your fingers. Be
careful, obviously. I don’t need another lawsuit on my hands.
Pour the posset directly into the toasted waffle crust. If you’ve followed the
measurements correctly, your crust should be about two-thirds full, which
for me is the perfect ratio. If you have some posset left over, you can go
rogue and fill it all the way to the top, I really don’t care. If you’re boring
you can use less posset, resulting in a thinner pie, but if you’ve bought this
book and that’s your intention, you’ve probably made a mistake and should
question everything about your life thus far.
Let it come to room temperature and then bang the pie in the fridge. It’ll
need to stay there for a few hours, until the posset is set. Your work here is
done, and all there is to do now is adorn your baby with heaps of the good
stuff (Italian meringue).
Follow the recipe for Italian meringue on this page and, using a spatula or a
spoon (or your divorce papers), wallop dollops of meringue all over your
pie. It’ll look more professional if you’re neat enough to not get any of it on
the edges of the pie crust, but who cares about being professional – I don’t
and look how far I’ve come. I’ve changed my mind, get it all over the
edges, get it everywhere, smear it on the worktop for no reason whatsoever.
Go wild.
When your LMP is suitably festooned with meringue, borrow a blowtorch
from your father-in-law and toast it right up (the pie, not your father-in-
law).
◁ PINK GRAPEFRUIT BARS
It’s really important to use real grapefruit juice, not from a carton. I
realise that squeezing this much fresh grapefruit juice sounds
ridiculous, but if it’s not freshly squeezed it just won’t taste
anywhere near as good.
MAKES
10–16 bars
INGREDIENTS
For the shortbread

250g (9oz) unsalted butter, melted
125g (4¼oz) caster (superfine) sugar
5g (⅛oz) sea salt
5g (⅛oz) vanilla extract
For the pink grapefruit topping

450g (1lb) eggs
450g (1lb) pink grapefruit juice, freshly squeezed (2 or 3 grapefruits)
Pink food colouring (use as suggested on packaging)
To finish
Icing (powdered) sugar, for dusting
METHOD
Preheat the oven to 160°C (320°F/gas 3).

To make the shortbread base, all you’ve got to do is mix all of the
ingredients in a mixing bowl until they come together and form a dough.
The dough shouldn’t be at all sticky, and it shouldn’t stick to your hands,
but if it does just mix through a little more plain (all-purpose) flour. Press
the dough evenly into a 23 x 30cm (9 x 12in) baking tin lined with
greaseproof paper. Bake in the oven for about 20 minutes or until the edges
have started to turn golden.
While the shortbread is baking, make the pink grapefruit topping. Add the
eggs, sugar and pink grapefruit juice to a mixing bowl and whisk until
combined. Add pink food colouring (the amount will depend on the brand
of colouring that you’ve got). Unfortunately, the juice from pink grapefruit
isn’t very pink, especially after you’ve baked it, and it’s kind of
underwhelming to serve a pink grapefruit bar that isn’t pink. Next, add the
flour and combine until incorporated. The mixture should be very thin,
liquidy and smooth.
When the shortbread is baked, remove it from the oven and immediately
poke holes all over it using a fork. This will allow the grapefruit to
penetrate (oh yes) the shortbread so that it goes all gooey. Leave to cool
slightly for 10 minutes, then pour the grapefruit mixture directly on top and
put it back in the oven for another 20 minutes or until the top is just about
set. If you tap the tin then a very slight jiggle in the centre is what you’re
looking for – only the hint, almost a memory of a jiggle. That’s how faint
we’re talking. Leave to cool at room temperature for about an hour, then put
in the fridge to chill and firm up for at least another 2 hours. Once they are
firm, remove from the tin and slice into as many bars as you want. These
bars are best served chilled, straight from the fridge. To finish, top them
with a generous dusting of icing (powdered) sugar.
They’ll keep for up to a week in an airtight container in the fridge, or for up
to a month in the freezer. They’re surprisingly delicious straight from the
freezer. I’d give them about 15 minutes at room temperature first, but it
sounded better to say straight from the freezer.
◁ BANOFFEE PIE
And here it is. The one and only. Banoffee Pie. The most popular
pie on the menu at GET BAKED®, and for good reason. Our
customers always want to know what we do to make it so good,
and the secret is the banana custard. It’s the almost artificial,
overly-banana-like banana flavour that you get from the milkshake
powder. It instantly takes you back to your childhood, and that’s the
secret behind our Banoffee Pie, and the secret behind most food
that you love to eat and can’t work out why. Nostalgia.
SERVES
10–14
INGREDIENTS
For the biscuit crust

350g (12oz) digestive biscuits
For the caramel

For the banana custard

120g (4¼oz) double (heavy) cream
120g (4¼oz) whole milk
75g (2¾oz) banana milkshake powder
2 egg yolks
1 ripe banana
For the whipped cream

500g (1lb 2oz) Properly Whipped Cream
To finish
25g (1oz) 55–70% dark chocolate
METHOD
Blitz the oat and digestive biscuits to a fine crumb in a food processor (or
pop them in a bag and pulverise the living daylights out of them with a
rolling pin). Transfer them into a mixing bowl.
Put your butter in a heatproof, microwave-safe container. Microwave for
about 1 minute 30 seconds, or until it’s totally melted. Add the melted
butter to your bowl of crumbs and mix thoroughly, ensuring even
distribution of melted butter so there are no dry patches. Press the mixture
into your 30cm (12in) pie tin straight away, while the mixture is still warm
and pliable. If you like, you can make the crumb mixture in advance, then
just reheat the crumb in the microwave in short 15-second blasts.
Once you’ve lined your tin, bang it in the fridge for 10 minutes to firm up.
Now it’s ready to fill. If you’re that way inclined, you can make your pie
The first layer of the pie is the caramel. Follow the recipe on this page and
pour the caramel directly onto the chilled biscuit crust. Be careful because
the caramel will be very hot. If you prefer, you can wait until the caramel
has started to cool and thicken, then spoon it on rather than pour it. For the
perfect finish when you slice the pie though, it’s best to pour when hot.
Bang it in the fridge to set for about an hour, or until the caramel doesn’t
wobble when you shake the tin but is still soft to touch.
While the caramel is setting, make the banana custard. Heat your milk and
cream together gently in a heavy-bottomed saucepan over a low heat. Stir
occasionally to avoid it catching at the bottom of the pan. While this is
heating, whisk your sugar and milkshake powder into your egg yolks for a
few minutes, until the yolk turns pale and aerates slightly. The milkshake
powder will contain cornflour (cornstarch), which will help thicken and set
the custard; it’s almost as if it was meant to be. When the milk and cream
mixture is just beginning to bubble, pour a small amount into your eggs and
sugar. This is to ‘temper’ the eggs and avoid them scrambling, which would
be likely to happen if you just poured them into the cream.
Whisk the small amount of cream into the eggs and then pour the mixture
back into the pan. Keep the heat low and switch to a heatproof spatula to
mix your custard. It will thicken as it cooks, and you want to thicken it as
much as possible, while being careful not to burn any at the bottom of the
pan. The best way to stop this from happening is to stir the custard properly,
obviously.
Once thickened, transfer the custard to a heatproof container and leave to
cool at room temperature, directly covering the surface of the custard with
cling film (plastic wrap) so that it doesn’t form a skin. While your custard is
cooling, peel and thinly slice the banana, then gently press the slices into
the caramel. Pressing them in means that they won’t be sliding all over the
place when you add the custard. Clever. When your custard has cooled,
spoon it all over the banana-topped caramel layer and spread it out evenly
using a palette knife or the back of a spoon. After you’ve added the custard,
put the pie back in the fridge to chill for at least 30 minutes, or until the
custard is fridge-cold.
All that’s left to do now is add your Properly Whipped Cream. At GET
BAKED®, we completely cover the custard with the cream, but there’s
nothing stopping you from leaving the edges exposed so that you can see
the yellow of the custard. Either way, don’t spread it too neatly because you
want to see some texture from the cream. Finish by finely grating the dark
chocolate on top of the cream: you’ll hardly taste it, but it looks good.
The pie is ready to slice and serve straight away, or will keep perfectly in
the fridge for up to 3 days. If you’re going to freeze it, it’s best to do this
before you’ve added the cream. It will keep in the freezer for up to a month.
◁ CARROT CAKE COOKIES
It’s just occurred to me that carrots aren’t a fruit, and they’re in the
fruit chapter. Problem is, we don’t have a vegetable chapter, and we
can’t make one just for this cookie. Please join me in momentarily
pretending that carrots are a fruit. To be fair, they are one of your
five-a-day and they’re orange. So yeah, carrots.
MAKES
10 cookies
INGREDIENTS

110g (3¾oz)caster (superfine) sugar
1 egg
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp sea salt
55g (2oz) freshly grated carrot
1 tsp ground cinnamon
½ tsp ground nutmeg
80g (2¾oz) roughly chopped pecans
For the cream cheese glaze

200g (7oz) icing (powdered) sugar
30g (1oz) maple syrup
30g (1oz) cream cheese
METHOD
Cream the butter and sugars together in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted
with the beater attachment until pale and fluffy. Add the vanilla to your egg,
then add to the butter and sugar mixture. Mix for 1 minute or until
emulsified, then scrape down the base and sides of the bowl. Weigh out the
flours, baking powder, bicarbonate of soda (baking soda), salt, grated carrot,
cinnamon, nutmeg and chopped pecans and add to the bowl. Beat on the
lowest speed until the mixture comes together.
Using an ice cream scoop or your hands, scoop the mixture into ten 100g
(3½oz) pucks and place onto a greaseproof paper-lined tray. The mixture
will feel quite sloppy because there’s a lot of moisture in the carrot. This is
normal and it gives the cookies a softer texture than our other cookies once
baked. Cover the tray in cling film (plastic wrap) and put it into the fridge
for at least 24 hours (at most 72 hours). If you absolutely must bake the
cookies on the same day, try to give them at least 6 hours to chill before
baking.
Split the 10 pucks across two greaseproof paper-lined baking trays, leaving
enough space between them to allow for spreading in the oven. Bake for
12–15 minutes, or until the cookies resemble cookies. If they’re still
bulging in the centre, then they’re not ready yet. Remove from the oven and
leave to cool on the baking trays.
While your cookies are cooling, prepare the cream cheese glaze by
whisking the icing (powdered) sugar, soft cheese, water and vanilla extract
in a small mixing bowl.
When the cookies are cool, paint the glaze all over the cookies with a pastry
brush, then set to one side to dry. The cookies will keep for up to two days
in an airtight container at room temperature, but are best eaten the day you
make them.
◁ PURPLE HAZE PIE
If you’re one of those weirdos who’s really into fruity desserts, this
one’s going to knock your socks clean off. If you’re not, your socks
will remain very much in-situ, but at least your feet will be warm.
SERVES
10–14
INGREDIENTS
For the ginger biscuit crust
700g (1lb 9oz) ginger biscuits
5g (⅛oz) sea salt
For the lemon posset

grated zest and juice of 4 lemons
For the blueberry jam

700g (1lb 9oz) fresh blueberries
450g (1lb) granulated sugar
juice of 1 lemon
1 tbsp liquid pectin (available from your favourite online retailer)
METHOD
To make the ginger biscuit crust, turn your ginger biscuits into a fine crumb.
Ideally, you’d use a food processor, or blender, but if you don’t have either
of those a bag and a rolling pin will do the trick. I once bashed some
digestives using a bottle of wine, but let’s not get into that. Once your
biscuits are pulverised, add them to a mixing bowl.
Microwave the butter in a microwave-safe container until fully melted. Add
the melted butter to the bowl of biscuit crumbs and mix together thoroughly
using your hands. It’s important to make sure that the butter is evenly
distributed throughout the mixture. If the mix is feeling a little dry, melt
another 50g (1¾oz) of butter and add a tablespoon at a time until you reach
the desired consistency. You’re looking for wet sand. Press the ginger
biscuit crust into a 30cm (12in) pie tin, lining the base and the sides.
For the lemon posset, follow the exact recipe and method as used in the
Lemon Meringue Pie. Fill the crust with your posset mixture and leave to
cool at room temperature. Once cool, bang it in the fridge for at least 6
hours, or until it’s set. Ideally, overnight is best.
The blueberry jam is easy as pie, but not quite as easy as it was for me to
come up with that horrendous pun. Put all of the ingredients in a heavy-
bottomed saucepan and place over a medium heat. Using a potato masher,
lightly squash the blueberries – just a gentle press is enough, it’s nice to
leave some whole. Give everything a good stir and bring to the boil. As
soon as it’s bubbling, turn the heat down low and simmer for 45 minutes,
stirring occasionally with a heatproof spatula.
Take off the heat and decant into a heatproof container to cool. Once cool,
spoon the jam on top of the set lemon posset layer. Don’t pile it all into the
middle or the weight of it might be too much for the lemon layer to contend
with. Use a small offset palette knife or the back of a spoon to evenly
spread the jam all over the pie, being careful not to cover the edges of the
crust. Place the finished pie in the fridge for a few hours so that the jam can
fully cool. It sounds silly, but it eats a lot better if you give the jam time to
settle on top of the posset. Eat within 3 days, or keep in the freezer for up to
a month.
◁ STRAWBERRY LIMEADE PIE
I’ll be totally honest with you, we created this pie out of necessity.
We had loads of limes to use up, and even more strawberries. This
thing tastes exactly the same as a Twister ice lolly, which every
British person knows is one of the greatest things that exists.
Just imagine. British summer. 28 degrees. Kids in the paddling
pool. Gary’s on the frozen margaritas. You’re stuck in the kitchen
boiling limes over a hot stove. Absolute, unadulterated bliss.
SERVES
10–14
INGREDIENTS
For the ginger biscuit crust

700g (1lb 9oz) ginger biscuits
5g (⅛oz) sea salt
For the lime posset

grated zest and juice of 5 limes
For the strawberry jam

600g (1lb 5oz) fresh strawberries
350g (12oz) granulated sugar
juice of 1 lemon
1 tbsp liquid pectin (available from your favourite online retailer)
METHOD
To make the ginger biscuit crust, turn your ginger biscuits into a fine crumb
using a food processor or blender (or a bag and a rolling pin). Once your
biscuits are pulverised, add them to a mixing bowl.
Microwave the butter in a microwave-safe container until fully melted. Add
it to the bowl of biscuit crumbs and mix together thoroughly using your
hands, making sure that there are no dry patches. If the mix feels a little dry,
melt another 50g (1¾oz) of butter and add a tablespoon at a time until you
reach the desired consistency. You’re looking for wet sand. Press the ginger
biscuit crust into a 30cm (12in) pie tin, lining the base and the sides.
For the lime posset, follow the method as used in the Lemon Meringue Pie,
replacing the four lemons with five limes. Fill the crust with your posset
mixture and leave to cool at room temperature. Once cool, bang it in the
fridge for at least 6 hours or until it’s set. Ideally, overnight is best.
For the strawberry jam, all you’ve got to do is put all of the ingredients into
a heavy-bottomed saucepan and place it over a medium heat. Give them a
stir and bring to the boil. As soon as the pan looks like a bubbling
strawberry-laden party of chaos, turn the heat down to low and simmer for
45 minutes, stirring occasionally with a heatproof spatula.
Take off the heat and decant into a heatproof container to cool. Once cool,
spoon the jam on top of the set lime posset layer, being careful not to pile it
all into the middle. Use a small offset palette knife or the back of a spoon to
evenly spread the jam all over the pie, making sure not to cover the edges of
the crust. Place the finished pie in the fridge for a few hours so that the jam
can fully cool and settle on top of the posset. Eat within 3 days, or keep in
the freezer for up to a month.
◁ HONEY PEACH PIE
Thyme works extremely well with peaches and imparts a very
subtle floral note. To be honest, you probably won’t taste it, but
sometimes it’s just nice going to bed knowing that you’re the sort
of person who puts thyme on their honey-roasted peaches.
SERVES
10–14
INGREDIENTS
For the honey-roasted peaches

400g (14oz) tinned peach halves, drained (the peaches, and also me, of any
emotion)
150g (5½oz) runny honey
1 tsp sea salt
1 sprig of fresh thyme
250g (9oz) Caramel
For the amaretti biscuit crust

500g (1lb 2oz) amaretti biscuits
5g (⅛oz) sea salt
For the mascarpone cream

200g (7oz) mascarpone cheese
10g (¼oz) vanilla extract
To finish
30g (1oz) toasted flaked almonds
METHOD
Start with the peaches because they’ll take a while to cook. Preheat your
oven to 180°C (350°F/gas 4), then add your peaches, flat side down, to a
baking tray. Drizzle evenly with honey and add the sea salt and the sprig of
thyme. Cover the peaches with foil and prick some holes in it with a fork.
Roast for 1 hour, then remove the foil and give them another 20 minutes to
allow them to caramelise and turn an exquisite golden colour. After 20
minutes, remove the peaches from the oven and allow to cool. Once cool,
decant them into a bowl. At this point, you can stir the thyme into the
peaches and, all jokes aside, doing so will add a really nice floral note to the
peaches.
Now onto the crust. Blitz the amaretti, oat biscuits and salt in a food
processor to a fine crumb (or bash them with a rolling pin). Decant into a
bowl. Put your butter in a heatproof, microwave-safe container. Microwave
for about 1 minute 30 seconds, or until it’s totally melted. Add the melted
butter to your bowl of crumbs and mix thoroughly, ensuring even
distribution of melted butter. Press the mixture into your 30cm (12in) pie tin
straight away. Once you’ve lined your tin, put it in the fridge for 10 minutes
to firm up.
For the caramel, follow the recipe on this page. Once made, allow to cool at
room temperature for 30 minutes before using. If you use it straight away, it
will melt the butter in your biscuit crust and make a right mess. When the
caramel has cooled, but is still liquid, pour it directly onto your biscuit
crust. Top immediately with the peaches so that the peaches stick to the
warm caramel. Place into the fridge to chill for 30 minutes or so.
For the mascarpone cream, add the double (heavy) cream and mascarpone
to the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment and whip
together, following the principles for Properly Whipped Cream on this
page. Use an offset palette knife or the back of a spoon to evenly spread the
mascarpone cream on top of the pie. Finish by adding the toasted almonds
around the edge. As the pie contains cheese and fresh cream, it’ll need to be
kept in the fridge and eaten within 3 days.
◁ BARBECUED BANANA BROWNIES
One of my fondest memories growing up was having barbecues.
They didn’t happen very often, and they weren’t really very good,
but there was something about them that I loved. After we’d eaten
some overcooked burgers and undercooked sausages, my dad
would throw some bananas on the barbecue.
I can still smell the banana juices dripping into the coals, as the
scorched skin turned all kinds of black. After half an hour, they’d
come off and we’d eat them with cheap vanilla ice cream.
MAKES
INGREDIENTS
For the brownie

5g (⅛oz) sea salt
For the caramelised pecans

150g (5½oz) pecan halves
25g (1oz) dark brown sugar
25g (1oz) honey
For the barbecued banana ganache

400g (14oz) white chocolate (chopped up if in bar form)
50g (1¾oz) banana milkshake powder
10g (¼oz) smoked sea salt
METHOD
Follow the recipe for the O.G. Brownies and slice your brownies into 10–16
slices using a sharp cook’s knife.
To make the caramelised pecans, preheat your oven to 150°C (300°F/gas 2),
then toss the pecan halves in the dark brown sugar and honey in a mixing
bowl until they’re evenly coated. Bake in the oven on a parchment-lined
baking tray for 20 minutes, or until the pecans look shiny. Remove from the
oven and set aside to cool.
Now for the banana ganache. Combine the double (heavy) cream, white
chocolate and banana milkshake powder in a heavy-bottomed saucepan and
place over a very low heat, stirring continuously with a heatproof spatula.
The ganache will split extremely easily if you overheat it, so take it off the
heat every 30 seconds so that it doesn’t get too hot. Keep stirring, making
sure that the chocolate is always in motion, especially around the sides and
bottom of the pan. Take the pan off the heat when there are still a few
chunks of white chocolate left; you can stir out the remaining bits of
chocolate while off the hob.
Pour the ganache into a 5cm (2in)-deep tray to set. You’re not going to be
dipping your brownies in it, you’re going to be letting it set enough so that
it’s spreadable. You can speed up the process by putting the ganache in the
fridge. When the ganache has a chocolate spread sort of texture, it’s ready
to use. You’re going to be topping the flat underside of your brownies,
using a small palette knife to spread a generous schmear of ganache all over
your brownies. You can make it neat if you like, but personally I think
messiness adds to the charm.
Now add a couple of caramelised pecans and a pinch of smoked sea salt. Go
easy on the salt or your brownie will end up tasting like a medium-rare
steak. Not ideal.
◁ BAKED CHERRY AND CUSTARD
CRUMBLE PIE
Don’t make the cherry element of this pie because it won’t be as
good. You want that classic, almost fake-tasting cherry taste and
you just won’t get that if you use fresh cherries. This pie is
nostalgic. I demand nostalgia. Also, take my advice and eat it
warm.
SERVES
10–14
INGREDIENTS
750g (1lb 10oz) shop-bought cherry pie filling
For the pastry

140g (5oz) unsalted butter, softened
60g (2¼oz) icing (powdered) sugar
25g (1oz) egg
275g (9¾oz) plain (all-purpose) flour, sifted
5g (⅛oz) sea salt
15g (½oz) cold water
For the custard

600g (1lb 5oz) whole milk
8 large egg yolks
30g (1oz) cornflour (cornstarch)
120g (4¼oz) caster (superfine) sugar
1 gelatine sheet
For the spiced crumble

75g (2¾oz) soft light brown sugar
75g (2¾oz) oats
100g (3½oz) cold butter
METHOD
To make the pastry, beat the softened butter and icing (powdered) sugar in a
stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment until light and fluffy. Add the
egg and beat on low speed for about 30 seconds. Scrape down the bowl,
ensuring there’s no butter stuck to the bottom or sides, and continue to beat
on low speed until the egg is combined. Add the flour, salt and water and
mix until only just combined. Do not overmix the dough or it’ll be ruined.
The dough will be in ruins. Have you been to Pompeii? Wrap the dough in
cling film (plastic wrap) and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes before using.
When chilled, roll out the dough on a floured work surface using a rolling
pin, to a thickness of about ½cm (¼in) and bang the pastry into a 30cm
(12in) pie dish. Tidy the edges using a paring knife and prick holes all over
the bottom of the base. About 10 should do it. Put it back in the fridge to
chill. Just so you know, it’ll keep perfectly well in the fridge for up to 3
days if it’s wrapped in cling film, and up to 1 month in the freezer. We use
this recipe for any and all of our sweet pie crusts.
For the custard, gently heat your double (heavy) cream and milk in a heavy-
bottomed saucepan until just boiling. Stir occasionally to avoid it catching
on the bottom of the pan. Meanwhile, in a mixing bowl, whisk the eggs
with the cornflour (cornstarch), vanilla extract and sugar, until pale. Add the
hot cream and milk to the bowl one ladle at a time, whisking well after each
addition. When you’ve finished adding all of the milky cream, or creamy
milk, pour it back into the pan, and cook over a low heat, whisking
continually, for about 25 minutes, or until thickened.
Meanwhile, soak the gelatine sheet in cold water for 2 minutes to soften it.
Take the pan of custard off the heat, then squeeze out the water from the
gelatine and add it to the thickened custard, whisking thoroughly to
combine. Allow to cool at room temperature while you preheat the oven
and get on with making your spiced crumble.
To make the spiced crumble mix, put the flour, sugar, oats, cinnamon and
nutmeg in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment.
Chop the cold butter into cubes and add it to the bowl. Mix on a medium
speed until the butter is evenly distributed: the mixture should be crumbly
and not stuck together. If it’s stuck together, the butter wasn’t cold enough.
To make sure this doesn’t happen, just leave the butter in the fridge right up
until you need it – you can even freeze it for 30 minutes beforehand if
you’re bored and just looking for unnecessary things to do.
When the custard has cooled down slightly, spoon it into the pastry case and
spread it out evenly using the back of a spoon. Bake in the oven for 15
minutes, then remove from the oven and add the cherry pie filling. For the
record, I love tinned pie filling. It’s exactly the taste that you want, in the
same way that sometimes tinned fruit is just perfect for certain recipes. I’m
totally comfortable in telling you that we don’t make our own cherry pie
filling at GET BAKED®, because it would cost far too much money, take
far too much time and wouldn’t achieve the flavour profile that we’re going
for. For me, I don’t want a cherry pie filling that tastes like fresh cherries. I
want a cherry pie filling that tastes like my childhood. When you’ve added
the pie filling, sprinkle the crumble mixture evenly all over the top, and
return to the oven to bake for a further 15 minutes.
You’ll know it’s ready because your kitchen will smell fantastic, and the
crumble will be golden brown. As tempting as it might be to slice and eat it
straight away, you really need to allow it to cool for at least 30 minutes.
Weirdly enough, to experience it at its best, you should let it chill overnight,
then slice it the next day. Heat each slice in the microwave for around 30
seconds if you’d prefer it warm, which in my opinion is definitely best.
I don’t know the science behind why the pie is better the next day, and I’m
not going to pretend to – I just know after making lots of them that it’s the
case.
The pie will be good for up to 3 days in the fridge.
◁ BLUEBERRY PANCAKE COOKIES
It’s like sitting down to breakfast in an American sitcom from
1993. But it isn’t an American sitcom and it isn’t 1993. That’s how
good this recipe is – you won’t even know what year it is.
MAKES
10 cookies
INGREDIENTS
110g (3¾oz)caster (superfine) sugar
1 egg
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp sea salt
120g (4¼oz) fresh blueberries
For the maple glaze

50g (1¾oz) maple syrup
METHOD
then add to the butter and sugar mixture. Mix for 1 minute, or until
flours, baking powder, bicarbonate of soda (baking soda) and salt, and add
to the bowl and beat on the lowest speed until the mixture comes together.
(3½oz) pucks and place onto a greaseproof paper-lined tray. Carefully press
the blueberries into the pucks, doing your best not to squish them. You’ll
more than likely suffer some casualties, but their injury will only add to the
flavour and general blueberry-like aesthetic of the cookies, so it’s not all
bad. Cover the tray in cling film (plastic wrap) and put it into the fridge for
at least 24 hours (at most 72 hours). If you absolutely must bake the cookies
on the same day, try to give them at least 6 hours to chill before baking.
are quite thin, they’re a classic, crispy on the edges, chewy on the outside
and soft in the middle type of affair.
Bake for 12–15 minutes. If the cookies are still bulging in the centre, then
they’re not ready yet. Remove from the oven and leave to cool on the
baking trays.
While your cookies are cooling, prepare the maple glaze by whisking the
icing (powdered) sugar and maple syrup together in a small mixing bowl.
When the cookies are cool, paint the glaze all over the cookies using a
pastry brush, then set to one side to dry. The cookies are best eaten the day
you make them, but will keep for up to 2 days at room temperature in an
airtight container.
◁ PROPERLY WHIPPED CREAM
I know what you’re thinking. You think you already know how to
whip cream. You’re wrong. You don’t know how to whip cream.
You know how to overwhip cream. If you’re using a stand mixer,
or even a hand mixer, I’m pretty sure you’re overwhipping your
cream.
It sounds totally ridiculous, but we were three months deep into
opening GET BAKED® before we realised that we couldn’t even
whip cream properly and now I’m writing a recipe book. Con man,
genius, or both – you decide. Anyway, back to the cream fiasco,
yeah you don’t know what you’re doing.
You’ll notice that there’s no sugar in our whipped cream. This
might seem a bit strange, but I am totally against using sugar in
cream. Everything we make is sweet, and the cream is there to
calm things down, give an unctuous mouthfeel and make
everything else stand out.
MAKES
Approx. 500g (1lb 2oz), or enough to top 1 Banoffee Pie
INGREDIENTS

5g (⅛oz) vanilla extract (the better, the better)
METHOD
Basically, if you’re mixing cream using a stand mixer fitted with the whisk
attachment, which most home bakers are, you need to turn the machine off
well before you’ve actually reached whipped cream consistency.
Add the vanilla to the cream at the very beginning and turn the machine on
to a medium-high speed. The key is to turn the machine off as soon as you
notice the cream getting more aerated. This is nowhere near ‘whipped
cream’ consistency, it’ll just look lighter in texture with a few small air
bubbles. At this point, remove the bowl from the mixer and, using the
whisk attachment, whisk the mixture by hand. The problem with using your
stand mixer to whip cream is that the cream collects on the whisk in the
centre of the bowl and overwhips. Even though the cream looks fine, it isn’t
because the middle has been overwhipped.
It’s still best to use a stand mixer to begin with, because it’s a lot quicker,
and whisking double (heavy) cream by hand is just exhausting and far too
much exercise. From experience, the cream will be perfect when it’s at a
point that you think is just slightly under-whipped. When you think it’s
done, it’s actually ruined. The difference between cream that’s been
perfectly whipped and cream that’s overwhipped is momentous. The texture
is totally different, it’s not claggy, it’s perfectly light and almost non-
existent.
You could say that properly whipped cream is almost invisible to the
palette, and you’d only recognise it if it wasn’t there. Maybe I’m
overthinking it, but we whip a ridiculous amount of cream, and this is the
sort of state you find yourself in when you’re me. I dunno.
Stop whipping cream to the point where it looks like it’s come out of a can.
It’s a sin.
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◁ MORNING BUNS
This isn’t my recipe, and I don’t even care. My good friend, the
incredibly talented pastry chef and owner of Fluff Bake Bar in
Houston, Texas, Rebecca Masson, gave it to me.
She makes insanely good cinnamon buns, and I made some
with her when I was doing a pop-up at her place. I said to her, ‘I’m
just letting you know that these are going to have to go in my book,
because they’re absolutely sensational.’ She agreed, so here we are.
The great thing is, they’re actually totally uncomplicated. It’s
just about knowing when the dough is right, which comes with a bit
of experience. Even if you don’t absolutely nail it, they’ll still taste
amazing.
The only slight change I made to her recipe is the addition of
brown sugar in the filling. She doesn’t think it needs it. I do. I win.
MAKES
6 buns
INGREDIENTS
For the dough

350g (12oz) plain (all-purpose) flour, plus extra for dusting
60g (2¼oz) softened unsalted butter, plus extra for greasing
10g (¼oz) dried active yeast
5g (⅛oz) sea salt
For the filling

100g (3½oz) softened unsalted butter
15g (½oz) ground cinnamon
50g (1¾oz) dark brown sugar
For the frosting

100g (3½oz) icing (powdered) sugar, sifted
100g (3½oz) cream cheese
50g (1¾oz) unsalted butter, cubed
50g (1¾oz) whole milk
METHOD
To make the dough, put all of the ingredients in the bowl of a stand mixer
fitted with the dough hook attachment and mix on a slow-medium speed for
6 minutes, or until the dough is pulling away from the sides of the bowl.
You can do this by hand, but honestly, why would you want to do that?
You’re not Paul Hollywood. And even if you were, you’d still use the
dough hook.
At this point, stop kneading and pull the dough out. Place the dough into the
largest mixing bowl you’ve got (lightly greased with a very small amount of
flavourless oil), cover it with a slightly damp tea towel and put it
somewhere warm to prove. You’re looking for the dough to double in size,
which will take at least an hour.
When your dough looks puffy as hell, dust your worktop with flour and –
using a rolling pin, or a bottle of Robinson’s fruit cordial (honestly, I’ve
seen it happen) – roll the dough out to a thickness of 1cm (½in), doing your
best to keep it rectangular in shape. This can be tricky, but just manipulate
the edges by pushing them to form the desired shape – this takes a bit of
getting used to, but you’ll get there, maybe.
Now, in a mixing bowl, combine the ingredients for the filling and shmear
them evenly all over your dough, leaving a 2.5cm (1in) gap around the
edges of the dough.
Using your fingers, roll up the dough tightly from the edge nearest you, as
evenly as you can muster. Take your time with this bit: it’s not a race. Relax
and enjoy the roll. You’re rolling and nobody can stop you. It’s
empowering. Anyway, make sure you roll it quite tightly or your buns will
all but completely unravel when they’re in the oven.
Once rolled, slice off the edges, because they’ll be lacking in filling, and cut
your log into six even rolls. Shmear some butter around the bottom and
edges of a 23cm (9in) cake tin (7.5cm/3in deep) and carefully place your
rolls into the tin, with five around the sides and one in the middle. The
middle one will be the ultimate roll, and you mustn’t let anyone else eat that
one. That is yours.
Cover the tin with the same tea towel as before and place it somewhere
warm again, until they’ve yet again doubled in size (this will take at least 30
minutes). I realise there’s a lot of leaving-somewhere-warm-to-double-in-
size going on here, but that’s just kinda the way it is.
Once they’ve doubled in size, they’re finally ready to go in the oven.
Bake the buns for 12–15 minutes. They’ll be golden brown on top, but
check they’re cooked in the middle by carefully pulling the edge of one of
the rolls away and inspecting the consistency of the dough. They should be
light, fluffy, springy and dense. Like me, but less tasty.
I like to make the frosting now rather than in advance. I prefer to frost the
buns when they’re slightly warm, but not hot, otherwise it melts everywhere
and doesn’t look as good. To make the frosting you just need to combine all
of the ingredients in the bowl of a stand mixer using the beater attachment.
Beat on medium-high speed for 5 minutes or until the mixture is smooth
and spreadable.
When the buns have cooled down but are still slightly warm to the touch,
remove from the tin and cover the living daylights out of them with the
frosting. Less is not more.
Break them apart, or serve as a tear-and-share sort of situation.
Alternatively, serve as a whole, and forget the share bit.
Cinnamon buns have a notoriously short shelf-life, and if you want to
experience them at their best, you really need to eat them on the day they’re
made. If you have to, you can store them in an airtight container at room
temperature and eat the next day, but they won’t be quite the same.
However, if you give them 10–15 seconds in the microwave to soften, they
won’t be far off.
◁ CINNAMON TOASTER PASTRIES
As the recipe states, please don’t actually put these in your toaster.
The glaze will melt and the whole thing will end in tears. They are
only called ‘toaster pastries’ because it means you can eat them for
breakfast. I’m just looking after your best interests.
MAKES
8 pastries
INGREDIENTS
For the pastry

550g (1lb 4oz) softened unsalted butter
100g (3½oz) eggs (plus approx. 50g/1¾oz extra for egg wash)
1kg (2lb 4oz) plain (all-purpose) flour, plus extra for dusting
60g (2¼oz) cold water
5g (⅛oz) sea salt
For the filling

100g (3½oz) soft light brown sugar
5g (⅛oz) plain (all-purpose) flour
10g (¼oz) ground cinnamon
5g (⅛oz) sea salt
For the glaze

200g (7oz) icing (powdered) sugar, sifted
pinch of ground cinnamon
METHOD
Start by making the pastry dough. Beat the butter and icing (powdered)
sugar together in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the beater attachment
until pale and fluffy. Add the egg and continue to mix until incorporated.
Scrape down the base and sides of the bowl and beat further. It’s essentially
just a load of beating. Add the flour, water and salt, and you guessed it,
beat. Mix until it just about comes together, then form it into a ball. Wrap in
cling film (plastic wrap) and chill in the fridge for at least an hour. Chilling
the dough will make it much easier to work with.
After an hour take the dough out of the fridge and lightly dust a clean
worktop with flour. Weigh the dough and divide it in half. Roll half of the
dough out to a thickness of roughly 3mm (⅛in), trying your best to form it
into a rectangle. This is quite difficult to do and to be perfectly honest I’m
terrible at it. Just sort of work the edges of the dough with the rolling pin,
pushing it into a rectangular shape. It’s manipulation. You’re manipulating
your ingredients and I hope you’re proud of yourself.
When you’re done manipulating, cut the dough into 8 even rectangles. Use
a ruler. Get scientific. Do some maths on a calculator. Put glasses on. Look
clever. Ring your dad for advice. When you’ve got 8 rectangles, transfer
them onto a lined baking tray and bang them back in the fridge so they can
have a long hard think about what they’ve done. Just kidding – they’re
badly rolled rectangles not naughty children. Now do exactly the same with
the other half of the dough. The reason you’ve done this in two sections is
because have you ever tried to roll out enough dough to cut 16 rectangles?
No, you haven’t. Well, I have and let me tell you, it’s carnage. Put the
remaining 8 rectangles onto another lined baking tray and insert them into
the fridge.
While the dough is chilling in the fridge, beat the remaining egg in a bowl
and leave to one side, that’s Mrs. Eggwash and shortly you will require her
assistance. Preheat your oven to 180°C (350°F/gas 4).
Now get on with the filling. Combine the light brown sugar, flour and
cinnamon in a bowl. That’s literally it. It’s nothing ground-breaking but it
tastes nice, and that’s all that matters. If you want complicated, build a
flatpack wardrobe. After you’ve made the filling, take both trays of dough
out of the fridge and brush eight of the rectangles with egg wash. To be
clear, you’re only brushing one side of them, not both. The egg wash will
help the filling stick to the dough and it’ll also help the other rectangle to
stick on top. Use a spoon to add an even layer of the filling to the egg-
washed rectangles, ensuring that you leave a gap around the edges so that
the other rectangle will stick on top. Use the back of the spoon to flatten the
filling, you want it to be quite compact, and the brown sugar will make this
quite easy to do.
Assemble the toaster pastries by placing the spare rectangles on top of the
filling-topped ones. Push down gently around the edge so that they stick
together, and use a fork to crimp around the edges – this will help avoid any
leakage. Brush the top of each pastry with egg wash and use the fork to
poke a couple of small holes into each one. This will ensure that steam is
able to be released from inside the pastry – if you don’t do this, they’ll
probably explode. This has the potential to be a rather enjoyable spectacle
to witness from the other side of the oven door, but just think of the mess.
Bake for about 20 minutes, or until a light golden brown.
When baked, remove from the oven and leave to cool at room temperature
while you make the vanilla glaze. The vanilla glaze is just as easy as the
filling, you just need to combine the ingredients in a bowl. Mix until
smooth – this can take a few minutes because there will be clumps of icing
sugar. The glaze should be runny but not thin. Thick, but not too thick.
Maybe it’s not that simple after all. When the pastries are totally cool, brush
or spoon the glaze over the top and leave to set. I’ve realised that they’re
called toaster pastries but whatever you do don’t put them in the toaster.
The glaze will melt and it’ll probably break the toaster.
If you want to enjoy them warm, I’d recommend warming them in the
microwave for about 15 seconds. They won’t taste as good in 2 days’ time,
so enjoy them on the day they’re made or the day after. They’ll freeze really
well and keep for up to a month in the freezer (just make sure you defrost
them before heating them up in the microwave).
◁ CINNAMON AND RAISIN COOKIES
These are my favourite cookies in the whole wide world.
Everything is just perfect. The combination of cinnamon with the
caramel notes that you get from the brown sugar. And then the
raisins. Oh my, the raisins. Why aren’t we eating raisins more
often?
Let me know.
MAKES
10 cookies
INGREDIENTS

1 egg
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp sea salt
80g (2¾oz) raisins
For the vanilla glaze

200g (7oz) icing (powdered) sugar, sifted
30g (1oz) water
METHOD
then add to the butter and sugar mixture. Mix for 1 minute, or until
flours, baking powder, bicarbonate of soda (baking soda), salt, cinnamon
and raisins, and add to the bowl. Beat on the lowest speed until the mixture
comes together.
are quite thin, crispy on the edges, chewy on the outside and soft in the
middle.
and leave to cool on the baking trays.
While your cookies are cooling, prepare the vanilla glaze by whisking the
icing (powdered) sugar, water and vanilla extract in a small mixing bowl.
When the cookies are cool, paint the glaze all over the cookies using a
pastry brush, then set to one side to dry.
The cookies will keep for up to 2 days at room temperature in an airtight
container, but are best eaten on the day you make them.
◁ SPECULOOS PIE
Nobody knows exactly how a little Belgian biscuit has managed to
slowly take over the world over the last decade, but it’s impossible
to refute the reality of the situation we have found ourselves in.
They’re everywhere. Never mind artificial intelligence, it’s the
caramelised biscuit you should be worried about.
SERVES
10–14
INGREDIENTS
For the caramelised biscuit crust

700g (1lb 9oz) Lotus biscuits
5g (⅛oz) sea salt
For the caramel

For the Lotus Biscoff cream

450g (1lb) Lotus Biscoff spread
To finish
25g (1oz) Lotus biscuits, crushed
METHOD
Blitz the Lotus biscuits and salt in a food processor to a fine crumb, then
decant into a mixing bowl. Melt your butter in the microwave in a
heatproof, microwave-safe container until it’s totally melted. About 1
minute 30 seconds should do it. Add the melted butter to your bowl of
crumbs and mix thoroughly, ensuring even distribution of melted butter.
Press the mixture into your 30cm (12in) pie tin straight away, while the
mixture is still warm. If you leave it too long, the butter will set and it’ll
become much less pliable. If you like, you can make this in advance, then
just reheat the crumb in the microwave in short 15-second blasts.
later it’s ready to fill. If you’re that way inclined, you can make your pie
Now get on with making the caramel from here. As soon as you take the
caramel off the heat, stir in the cinnamon and nutmeg. This is your spiced
caramel. Let it cool at room temperature for up to 30 minutes before
pouring into the biscuit crust, otherwise it’ll be so hot that it’ll melt the
butter in the biscuits and you’ll have a real situation on your hands.
Melt 400g (14oz) of the Lotus Biscoff spread in the microwave and pour it
directly onto the caramel layer. You should do this while the caramel is still
warm because it’ll help the spread stick to it. If the caramel is cold when
you pour the melted spread over it, the layers won’t bond as well and the
pie might come apart when you slice it. When melted, the Biscoff spread
should be pretty thin, but just in case it hasn’t covered the whole pie, use
the back of a spoon to even it all out. Bang it in the fridge to set for at least
30 minutes.
Make Properly Whipped Cream using the double (heavy) cream and vanilla
extract, following the method on this page. Top the pie with the cream and
melt the remaining 50g (1¾oz) of Lotus Biscoff spread in the microwave.
When melted, pour it all over the cream. There won’t be enough to cover
the cream, it’ll just be a sort of Jackson Pollock splattering. Use an offset
palette knife, or the back of a spoon, to shmear the Biscoff spread into the
cream, but don’t mix it in – you don’t want brown cream, you want cream-
coloured cream with caramel-coloured swirls. It’s hard to explain. Work it
out. Top the pie with the 25g (1oz) of crushed Lotus biscuits for added
crunch, as the textures of this pie are all pretty soft. There’s nothing wrong
with soft though really – everybody likes a bit of soft from time to time.
Keep refrigerated and consume this pie within 3 days (although I really
doubt it will last that long, because it’s absolutely delicious).
◁ CARAMEL
I very much enjoy making a caramel: it’s just one of those things
that every budding baker or pastry aficionado should know how to
do, because it’s so versatile, and a starting point for so many other
recipes. The thought of making your own caramel can be a bit
intimidating, but in reality, it’s a breeze. Not only is it easy enough
for even the most beginner bakers to pull off, it’ll keep for up to a
month in the fridge and up to three months in the freezer.
There are a few different ways to make it, and in my opinion,
most of them are just unnecessarily complicated. My rule is simple.
If you can use fewer ingredients, put them together simply, and get
a great result, then do that. This works for baking, and for life in
general. Baker or philosopher, I’ll let you decide.
You’re going to be working with very hot sugar, which can
cause some very serious burns if it gets on your skin. So, remember
to keep your wits about you, and use some common sense for a
change.
On a side note, a lot of people ask me to explain the difference
between caramel and butterscotch. To save you the time of getting
your phone out and searching online, I’ll tell you now. Caramel is
made using white sugar, and butterscotch is made using brown
sugar. You can have that one for free.
MAKES
Approx. 600g (1lb 5oz), or enough to top one Banoffee Pie
INGREDIENTS

70g (2½oz) water
90g (3¼oz) unsalted butter, cubed
METHOD
Put the sugar and water into a heavy-bottomed saucepan and stir the water
into the sugar. Place over a medium heat and leave the sugar to dissolve. Do
not stir, and don’t be tempted to pick the pan up and mess around with it.
When the sugar has dissolved, the colour will start to change, starting off a
pale yellow, and eventually turning to a deep amber. The trick to good
caramel is knowing how far to take the sugar. If you don’t get to the deep
amber stage, and you add the cream and butter, your caramel will be
underwhelming. If you take it too far, you’ll burn the sugar and the caramel
will be bitter and laden with bits of burnt sugar. Not good.
When your sugar is bubbling aggressively and has a deep amber colour,
remove from the heat and carefully add the double (heavy) cream. Be very
careful, because the cold cream is going to shock the caramel and cause it to
bubble even more aggressively. Immediately stir the cream into the sugar
using a heatproof silicone spatula. Once the bubbling has settled down, add
the butter and continue to stir until the butter has melted.
The mixture should now resemble caramel, but don’t taste it yet because
it’ll be hotter than the sun. At this stage, you could add a pinch of good-
quality sea salt (welcome to 2010, you’ve got salted caramel). The mixture
will still be quite thin because caramel thickens as it cools. Pour into a
heatproof container and leave to cool at room temperature.
Once cool, you can store the caramel in the fridge for up to one month, or in
the freezer for up to three months. When the caramel is cold, it’ll set very
firm, so to loosen the caramel for use, heat it in the microwave in 20-second
bursts (or in a heavy-bottomed saucepan over a low heat) until it has
reached the desired consistency.
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◁ EDIBLE COOKIE DOUGH
You can have some fun with this one and add something else is
well as (or instead of) the chocolate. Roasted peanuts are a nice
addition – although I particularly enjoy replacing the chocolate
with a bit of cinnamon and a handful of raisins. But then again, I
am old and very boring.
MAKES
24 pucks
INGREDIENTS
320g (11¼oz) plain (all-purpose) flour

300g (10½oz) dark chocolate, chopped up if in bar form
5g (⅛oz) sea salt
METHOD

Start by baking the flour for 15 minutes. Just bang it all onto a baking tray
as evenly as possible, and you’re good. This step is really important
because raw flour can contain some harmful bacteria that you don’t want to
eat – baking it will kill ’em dead. When baked, leave to cool at room
temperature.
If you’ve got dark chocolate chips then you’re good to go, but if your
chocolate is in bar form, chop it up into small chunks. Cream the softened
butter, sugars and salt in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the beater
attachment until light and fluffy. Scrape down the base and sides of the
bowl, then add the cream, vanilla and chocolate and continue to beat for
another minute or until incorporated.
Once the flour has cooled, add it to the cookie mixture and beat until mixed
thoroughly. Your cookie dough is now ready. It’s as easy as that. What a
breeze. You can do whatever the hell you want with it. Try it with some
good-quality vanilla ice cream, or just eat it with a spoon – I quite literally
don’t care.
Keep refrigerated and eat within 3 days (unless you’ve gone through it all in
one night, in which case I’d consider contacting your local health
department). The cookie dough will also keep in the freezer for up to a
month.
◁ RASPBERRY-GLAZED DONUT COOKIES
The cookie that catapulted us into viral stardom. Once outlawed
due to the use of illegal sprinkles, now made possible once more
thanks to our very own brand. Don’t scrimp on the sprinkles. Not
now, not ever.
MAKES
10 cookies
INGREDIENTS

1 egg
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp sea salt
For the raspberry donut glaze

30g (1oz) water
raspberry flavouring (use as instructed on packaging)
To finish
100g (3½oz) expen$ive sprinkles
METHOD
with the beater attachment until pale. Add the vanilla to your egg, and then
add to the butter and sugar mixture. Mix for 1 minute, or until emulsified,
then scrape down the base and sides of the bowl. Weigh out the flours,
baking powder, bicarbonate of soda (baking soda) and salt and add to the
bowl. Beat on the lowest speed until the mixture comes together.
enough space between them to allow for spreading in the oven.
and leave to cool on the baking trays.
While your cookies are cooling, prepare the raspberry glaze by whisking
the icing (powdered) sugar, water and raspberry flavouring in a small
mixing bowl. Take your time, and mix thoroughly, to ensure that you don’t
end up with any clumps of unmixed icing sugar – biting into that is the
worst thing ever. Well, not the worst thing ever but it’s pretty annoying.
While the glaze is still wet and the cookies have cooled, use a pastry brush
(or the back of a spoon if you’re ill prepared) to paint the glaze all over
your cookies. Adorn your donut-inspired cookies straight away with lots of
sprinkles and set to one side to dry.
The cookies will keep for up to 2 days in an airtight container at room
temperature, but are best eaten the day you make them.
◁ MILK & COOKIES CHEESECAKE
You can buy cookies & cream spread from supermarkets and online
retailers. There is no point whatsoever trying to make it yourself.
The ones that you can buy are everything you’d hope they’d be:
overly sweet, unhealthy and delicious.
SERVES
10–14
INGREDIENTS
For the Oreo cookie crust

1.2kg (2lb 12oz) Oreo cookies
400g (14oz) cookies & cream spread
For the Oreo cheesecake

670g (1lb 8oz) full-fat cream cheese, at room temperature
135g (4¾oz) double (heavy) cream
170g (5¾oz) white chocolate, chopped up if in bar form
105g (3½oz/1 pack) Oreo cookies
For the topping

400g (14oz) Properly Whipped Cream
20g (¾oz) Oreo cookies, blitzed to a crumb
METHOD
Start by making the Oreo cookie crust. Blitz the Oreo cookies in a food
processor or with a rolling pin to a fine crumb, then decant into a mixing
bowl. Melt your butter in the microwave in a microwave-safe container
until it’s totally melted (about 1 minute 30 seconds). Add the melted butter
to your bowl of crumbs and mix thoroughly. Line your 30cm (12in) pie tin
with the mixture straight away, then bang it in the fridge to firm up. Ten
minutes later it’s ready to fill.
Melt the cookies & cream spread in the jar or tub in the microwave –
ensuring you remove any foil – and pour directly into your Oreo cookie
crust. Spread evenly with a palette knife or the back of a spoon. Bang it in
the fridge to chill while you move onto the next stage of the pie.
In the mixing bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, mix
the cream cheese and double (heavy) cream together, beating on medium
speed for exactly 2 minutes, then turn the mixer speed to the lowest setting
and slowly add the icing (powdered) sugar. Don’t add it all at once because
it’ll go everywhere and gets in your nose, which is unpleasant in every way
imaginable. When you’ve added all of the sugar, keep the speed on the
lowest setting and continue to beat while you melt your white chocolate.
Microwave it in short bursts, stirring in between. When melted fully, pour
into your cheesecake mixture and continue to beat. Turn the speed back up
to medium for a few seconds and then scrape down the base and sides,
focusing on the base – it’s likely that there will be some cheese down there
that hasn’t mixed in properly. Add the pack of crushed Oreo cookies and
give it another 30 seconds on the highest speed.
Spoon the cheesecake mixture into your chilled pie crust and spread it out
evenly. Bang it back in the fridge to set for at least 3 hours. It needs to set
fully to be experienced at its best, otherwise it can be a bit sloppy. After it’s
set, finish the pie by topping it with Properly Whipped Cream. Adorn your
creation with the small amount of crushed Oreo cookies that you have left.
Serve from the fridge (it’s a cheesecake you loser) and enjoy within 3 days.
I wouldn’t freeze it. You could but just don’t.
◁ EXPEN$IVE BUNS
What’s better than cinnamon buns? Nothing. What’s on par? These.
These are essentially cinnamon buns for people that don’t like
cinnamon, but love fluffy, dense and indulgent baked dough. We
replace the sharp, cinnamon-enriched filling with an amazing sandy
birthday-cake crumble which, when baked, goes all kinds of
gooey.The way the sprinkle-laden sand cooks inside the dough,
providing a super moist filling, is honestly something to behold.
MAKES
6 buns
INGREDIENTS
For the dough

350g (12oz) plain (all-purpose) flour, plus extra for dusting
60g (2¼oz) softened unsalted butter, plus extra for greasing
10g (¼oz) dried active yeast
5g (⅛oz) sea salt
For the expen$ive filling

85g (3oz) plain (all-purpose) flour
45g (1½oz) cold butter, cubed
10g (¼oz) custard powder
1 tsp sea salt
40g (1½oz) expen$ive sprinkles, plus extra to finish
For the glaze

100g (3½oz) icing (powdered) sugar
METHOD
To make the dough, combine all of the ingredients in the bowl of a stand
mixer fitted with the dough hook attachment and mix on a slow-medium
speed for 6 minutes, or until the dough is pulling away from the sides of the
bowl. You can do this by hand, but honestly why would you want to do that.
Place the dough in the largest mixing bowl you’ve got, cover it with a
slightly damp tea towel and put it somewhere warm to prove. You’re
looking for the dough to double in size, which will happen in anywhere
from 3 to 6 hours.
When your dough looks puffy as hell, dust your worktop with flour and roll
out the dough to a thickness of 1cm (½in), doing your best to keep it
rectangular in shape, manipulating the edges by pushing them to form the
desired shape – this bit takes a bit of getting used to, but you’ll get there,
maybe.
Now, combine all the ingredients for the expen$ive filling – apart from the
sprinkles – in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the beater attachment.
Add the sprinkles by hand at the end, just because you don’t want them to
get pulverised. The mixture will resemble a fine, sandy crumb, very similar
to a crumble mix that you’d shove on top of a pie. Once sandy crumb status
has been achieved, sprinkle it all over the dough, leaving a 2.5cm (1in) gap
around the edge of the rectangle of dough. Once covered, use your hands to
press the crumb down, so that it’s nice and compact. This is essential, so
don’t forget to do it.
Using your fingers, roll up the dough tightly from the edge nearest you, as
evenly as you can muster. Take your time with this bit, it’s not a race. Relax
and enjoy the roll. You’re rolling and nobody can stop you. It’s
empowering. Anyway, make sure you roll it quite tightly or your buns will
all but completely unravel when they’re in the oven.
Once rolled, slice off the edges, because they’ll be lacking in filling, and cut
your log into six even rolls. Shmear some butter around the bottom and
edges of a 23cm (9in) cake tin (7.5cm/3in deep) and carefully place your
rolls into the tin, with five around the sides and one in the middle. The
middle one will be the ultimate roll, and you mustn’t let anyone else eat that
one. That is yours.
Cover the tin with the same tea towel as before and place somewhere warm
again, until they’ve yet again doubled in size. I realise there’s a lot of
leaving-somewhere-warm-to-double-in-size going on here, but that’s just
kinda the way it is.
Once they’ve doubled in size, they’re finally ready to go in the oven.
Bake the buns for 12–15 minutes. They’ll be golden brown on top, but
check they’re cooked in the middle by carefully pulling the edge of one of
the rolls away and inspecting the consistency of the dough. They should be
light, fluffy, springy, and dense. Like me, but less tasty.
I like to make the glaze now rather than in advance. I prefer to frost the
buns when they’re slightly warm, but not hot, otherwise it melts everywhere
and doesn’t look as good.
To make the glaze, just combine all of the ingredients in the bowl of a stand
mixer fitted with the beater attachment and beat on medium-high speed for
5 minutes or until the mixture is smooth and spreadable.
When the buns have cooled down but are still slightly warm to the touch,
remove from the tin and cover the living daylights out of them with the
glaze. Less is not more. Finish with a generous helping of expen$ive
sprinkles for extra ridiculousness.
Break them apart, or serve as a tear-and-share sort of situation.
Alternatively, serve as a whole and forget the share bit.
These buns have a notoriously short shelf-life and if you want to experience
them at their best, you really need to eat them on the day they’re made. If
you have to, you can store them in an airtight container at room temperature
and eat the next day, but they won’t be quite the same. However, if you give
them 10–15 seconds in the microwave to soften, they won’t be far off.
◁ EXPEN$IVE BIRTHDAY CAKE
I hate to sound like I’m coercing you into buying my sprinkles, but
they really are the only way to achieve the desired aesthetic here.
All other sprinkles that look this good are illegal in the UK.
SERVES
10–40
INGREDIENTS
For the funfetti sponge
1.25kg (2lb 12oz) margarine (this is the only recipe where I advocate using it)
1.25kg (2lb 12oz) caster (superfine) sugar
1.25kg (2lb 12oz) eggs (approx. 25 eggs)
1.25kg (2lb 12oz) self-raising flour, sifted
10g (¼oz) sea salt
100g (3½oz) expen$ive sprinkles
For the vanilla buttercream

1kg (2lb 4oz) softened unsalted butter
1.75kg (3lb 13oz) icing (powdered) sugar, sifted
50g (1¾oz) custard powder
To finish
500g (1lb 2oz) expen$ive sprinkles
The ability to re-mortgage after spending all of your money on sprinkles
METHOD

To make the sponge, cream the margarine and caster sugar in the bowl of a
stand mixer (using the paddle attachment) until light and fluffy. This will
take at least five minutes on a high speed. Add the eggs five at a time (if
you add them all at once, the mixture will split). Once the mixture looks
smooth, add five more eggs, then repeat the process until you’ve added all
of the eggs. Add the vanilla extract with the last five. When you’re out of
eggs, scrape down the bowl and continue to mix for another minute. Then
scrape down the bowl again – I know this seems like overkill but it’s worth
it – continue to beat for another minute and then add the flour in three
stages, beating between each addition so that it’s totally incorporated. When
you’ve added all of the flour, add the salt and the sprinkles and give a final
mix using a spatula or wooden spoon.
Line the base and sides of three 23cm (9in) round baking tins (7½cm/3in
deep), then split the mixture evenly between them. Give the tins a firm bang
on the workbench to knock out any large air bubbles, they’ll ruin your life
later on when you’re trying to slice the sponges, so this is very important.
Bake for an hour or until they’re golden brown on top and a skewer comes
out totally clean. When baked, leave to cool at room temperature inside the
tins. After about half an hour, remove the cake from the tins and continue to
cool at room temperature.
When they’re totally cool, they’re ready to slice. You’re going to be slicing
each sponge into four thin layers, so you’ll end up with a total of twelve.
Slice the domed tops off and cling film (plastic wrap) them to make our
Birthday Truffles. Who wants to waste cake? I don’t, that’s for sure. Follow
the instructions for slicing Bruce on this page. When you’ve got twelve thin
layers of sponge stacked on top of each other with a layer of greaseproof
paper between them, wrap the stack in clingfilm and refrigerate. You want
the sponge to be cold and firm when you’re assembling the cake.
Whilst the sponges are firming up you can make your buttercream. In the
bowl of a stand mixer, use the beater attachment to cream the butter on high
speed for at least five minutes, or until the butter is very pale. It should go
from being yellow to almost white. Add the icing (powdered) sugar in
stages and beat on high speed for at least a minute between each sugar
addition. Add the custard powder, vanilla extract and milk in with the last
load of sugar and continue to beat for at least another 10 minutes. This
seems like a long time, but it’s essential if you want to achieve a really
smooth buttercream.
By now, your sponges should be nice and firm and you’re ready to
assemble your cake, following the instructions for assembling Bruce on
these pages. Once assembled, it’s time to apply the crumb coat. This is a
very thin layer of buttercream that goes all over your cake to lock in the
crumbs and stop them from going into your buttercream when you coat the
outside of the cake. If you don’t apply one, it’s not the end of the world, but
you might find bits of sponge make their way into your buttercream. This
can spoil the appearance and, more importantly, the texture. It doesn’t need
to look neat, it just needs to be smooth. When applied, place the cake into
the fridge to set.
Once set, you can apply the rest of the buttercream all over your cake.
Some people like to use a piping (pastry) bag, but personally I prefer to just
use a palette knife. If you do want to use a piping bag, start at the bottom
and pipe rings of buttercream all around the cake while turning the
turntable. Then use a palette knife to shmear the buttercream around the
cake, removing the excess in the process. Obviously, you can reuse the
excess because there will be no crumbs in it. Thank you crumb coat, our
lord and saviour. Repeat the process until your cake is covered and there are
no uneven, buttercreamlacking crevices. Remember you’re going to cover
the entire cake in sprinkles, so it doesn’t really matter if it’s not smooth. If
you’d rather just use a palette knife, follow exactly the same method but
just shmear the buttercream on, rather than piping it. When your cake is
covered, immediately coat the whole thing in expen$ive sprinkles. It’s
important that you apply the sprinkles before the buttercream has set too
firmly, or the sprinkles won’t stick properly. There’s not really a way of
doing this that won’t result in sprinkles going all over the worktop, so just
make sure it’s clean so any stragglers can be collected and reapplied to the
cake. When the cake is sufficiently covered, you’re done.
I’d recommend putting it in the fridge for at least 30 minutes before slicing,
just to ensure that the buttercream has set. In the unlikely event that you’ve
got leftover cake, it’ll keep perfectly fine in a sealed container for 3 days, or
in the freezer for up to a month.
◁ BIRTHDAY TRUFFLES
These truffles make use of leftover funfetti sponge from the
Expen$ive Birthday Cake. They are about half the size of Bruce’s
Balls, so you’ll need to use a smaller ice cream scoop to get the
right size.
MAKES
24 truffles
INGREDIENTS
For the sprinkle sand

50g (1¾oz) custard powder
50g (1¾oz) plain (all-purpose) flour
15g (½oz) cornflour (cornstarch)
20g (¾oz) caster (superfine) sugar
20g (¾oz) expen$ive sprinkles
5g (⅛oz) sea salt
60g (2¼oz) unsalted butter, melted
For the insides

The tops from 3 funfetti sponges (see here)
For the white chocolate coating

50g (1¾oz) white chocolate, chopped up if in bar form
25g (1oz) vegetable oil
METHOD

Start by making the sprinkle sand. Combine all the dry ingredients in a
bowl, then add the melted butter and toss with a spoon until evenly
distributed. The mixture should start to come together, forming small
clusters. Spread out on a greaseproof paper-lined baking tray and bake for
20 minutes. The texture should be totally dry at this point – if it’s not, give
it a few more minutes. When baked, leave to cool at room temperature, then
blitz to a crumb in a food processor. You don’t want it too fine; it’s best to
use the pulse setting on the processor. If there isn’t one, you could use a
rolling pin or, if you’re at your grandma’s house, a pestle and mortar.
Now onto the truffle’s insides. Break the sponge into big pieces and put into
the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the beater attachment and beat the
sponges on the lowest speed. When the sponges are broken and the contents
of the bowl look like a cake crumb, add the milk, bit by bit. You might not
need all the milk, just keep adding it until the cake comes together as one.
The mixture should be easy to roll into balls without leaving any residue on
your hands.
Using your ice cream scoop, scoop the cake into 24 truffles and use your
hands to roll into balls. Place the truffles onto a lined baking tray and
refrigerate so they firm up. While they’re chilling, make the white chocolate
coating. Melt the chocolate in the microwave, stirring between short bursts
so that it doesn’t burn. Once melted, thoroughly mix in the oil.
You’re going to need someone to help you assemble the truffles. Wearing
food-safe gloves, shmear some of the white chocolate onto the inside of
your hands and roll the truffles in it, covering them in a thin layer of white
chocolate. Toss the coated truffles into the sprinkle sand, so that your
baking buddy (cringe) can cover them. Repeat the process until all of the
truffles are coated.
It’s tempting to eat them straight away, but you should put them in the
fridge for 30 minutes to give the white chocolate a chance to set – it’s just
better, trust me. Keep them in the fridge and eat them within 3 days. They’ll
keep in the freezer for up to a month.
OceanofPDF.com
◁ BRUCE
There’s a common misconception that I’d like to address before I
continue. Bruce is not named after a character from a popular
children’s book who was force-fed a very large chocolate cake. I
have never read the book, nor seen the movie, and it is purely
coincidental. An annoying coincidence, but a coincidence,
nonetheless.
It’s hard to know where to begin with introducing Bruce. I
never thought I’d find myself in a position where I refer to a cake
as ‘he’ without even thinking about it. It’s because Bruce is so
much more than just a chocolate cake – he’s got more personality
than most of the people I’ve crossed paths with in my life.
Customers visit our store from all over the world just to bag a
slice of Bruce. I mean that quite literally. In August 2022 we also
launched our nationwide delivery service, and highly specialised
packaging has allowed us to put Bruce in the hands of people all
over the country, with next day delivery. We sell 1,000 slices a
week, and at the time of writing this book, we’re yet to experience
a day of trading where we haven’t sold out.
I’ve been incredibly fortunate to have held pop-ups in both
Houston and Austin, Texas, where the queues for Bruce stretched
for so long that the fire department turned up to see what had
happened. Nothing had happened, apart from the arrival of a 24-
layer chocolate cake from Leeds. In case you’re wondering, the fire
department ended up staying, and they very much enjoyed
themselves.
This book simply wouldn’t have come into being if it wasn’t
for Bruce, and I wouldn’t have been presented with anywhere near
as many opportunities if it hadn’t been for him.
When I told people that this recipe was going to be included in
this book, they thought I was crazy, but nothing is going to fill me
with more pride than seeing people attempt to make Bruce in their
kitchen at home.
It’s going to be complete and utter carnage, and I’m all for it.
SERVES
10–40
INGREDIENTS
For the dark chocolate sponge

780g (1lb 11oz) plain (all-purpose) flour, sifted
5g (⅛oz) sea salt
20g (¾oz) bicarbonate of soda (baking soda)
800g (1lb 12oz) unsalted butter
1.3kg (3lb) caster (superfine) sugar
450g (1lb) soured cream
350g (12oz) 55% dark chocolate, chopped up if in bar form
500g (1lb 2oz) water
600g (1lb 5oz) eggs (approx. 12 eggs)
220g (7¾oz) cocoa powder, sifted
For the dark chocolate ganache

3kg (6lb 8oz) 55% dark chocolate, chopped up if in bar form
3kg (6lb 8oz) double (heavy) cream
METHOD
MAKING THE DARK CHOCOLATE SPONGE

Before you begin, get your mise en place in order by decanting everything
into the correct vessel and arranging everything in one hell of an organised
fashion. Plain flour, salt and bicarbonate of soda, together in a mixing bowl.
Unsalted butter and caster sugar, together in your stand mixer’s mixing
bowl. Soured cream in a small bowl. Dark chocolate in a microwavable
container. Water in a medium-sized saucepan. Eggs, cracked and in a
mixing bowl. And finally, cocoa powder in a small bowl.
Using the beater attachment for your stand mixer, beat the butter and sugar
together on a medium-high speed for at least five minutes, or until the
mixture is pale and fluffy. You’ll need to scrape the bowl down at least
twice, to ensure that the butter and sugar are fully combined. Use a spatula.
While your butter and sugar are being beaten into oblivion, put the pan of
water on to boil over a low-medium heat. Place the chocolate in the
microwave for 30 seconds while the water is warming. Keep heating in 30-
second bursts, ensuring that you stir thoroughly in between each burst.
Once melted, set to one side.
When your water has come to a simmer, add in the cocoa powder, and
whisk thoroughly using a hand whisk. Remove from the heat and continue
to whisk until it forms a smooth paste. Add your melted chocolate to the
pan, mix thoroughly, and set to one side.
Once the butter and sugar mixture is pale and fluffy, turn the speed to low
and add your eggs four at a time. Continue to beat the mixture on low until
the eggs are incorporated and everything has emulsified. Now add the
soured cream along with the chocolate mixture and beat until incorporated.
Finally, add the flour, bicarbonate of soda, and salt, and fold in on the
slowest speed setting. Make sure there’s no pockets of flour because it’ll
create all kinds of havoc when you put him on the oven. Your mixture
should look smooth and glossy.
Line the base and sides of three 23cm (9in) round cake tins (7½cm /3in
deep), then split the mixture evenly between them. Give the tins a firm bang
on the workbench to knock out any large air bubbles.
Bake at 150°C (300°F/gas 2) for 60 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted
into the centre of each cake comes out clean.
Once baked, leave to cool inside the tins and at room temperature for at
least 2 hours. After 2 hours, remove the sponges from the tins, wrap in cling
film (plastic wrap) and place in the fridge for at least another hour.
Alternatively, you can wrap them in cling film and bang them in the freezer.
They’ll keep in there for up to 1 month and they freeze amazingly well.
You’d never know they’d been frozen, it doesn’t affect the quality of the
cake whatsoever.
MAKING THE DARK CHOCOLATE GANACHE

Put the 3kg (6lb 8oz) of dark chocolate in a large, microwave-safe mixing
bowl and heat the cream in a heavy-bottomed pan over a low heat, stirring
continually so that it doesn’t catch at the bottom of the pan. When the
cream is hot, but not boiling, remove from the heat, and pour directly onto
the chocolate. It’s tempting to stir straight away, but if you do, you’ll take
too much heat out of the cream, and the chocolate might not all melt, so
leave the mixture alone for 5 minutes. Then, use a heatproof spatula to
combine the cream and chocolate. Keep stirring until the chocolate has
melted and the mixture is smooth and glossy. If there are some pesky pieces
of chocolate that just won’t melt, place the bowl in the microwave and heat
in 10-second bursts, stirring vigorously between each burst. Alternatively,
place the bowl over a pan of simmering water and stir until the chocolate
has melted – make sure the base of the bowl isn’t touching the water. With
either of these methods, it’s important that you don’t overheat the chocolate,
as it’ll split.
When the chocolate has melted and the ganache is smooth and glossy, add
the sea salt and blend using a stick blender. If you don’t have a stick
blender, I would strongly recommend buying one. You can skip this step,
but if you want perfectly smooth ganache, you really need to immersion-
blend it. There will be tiny bits of chocolate that you can’t see or even feel,
and using a stick blender will pummel them into non-existence, resulting in
a ganache that is so smooth you won’t even know what day it is.
It’s Monday. Just kidding, I don’t know what day it is either.
Blitz for at least 5 minutes, ensuring that you keep the blender submerged at
all times, or you’ll incorporate air into the ganache, and you don’t want that.
When you’re done, cover the surface with cling film and leave to set at
room temperature. It’s tempting to speed up the process by putting in the
fridge, but don’t do this: the ganache around the edges of the bowl will set
quicker than in the middle, and that will cause all sorts of chaos. At room
temperature it’s going to take about 2 hours for your ganache to be set
enough to use. This is just one of those things that you can’t rush. It's worth
bearing in mind that you don’t want the ganache to be too well set either –
if you leave it for too long, it’ll be too hard to shmear, and you’ll need to
heat it up gently to soften it again. This is not what you want to happen –
believe me. I have spent countless hours reheating ganache that was overset
and it’s an absolute nightmare. The consistency you’re looking for is like
Nutella. Spreadable, but not runny. Thick, but not so thick that it’ll break
your palette knife.
ASSEMBLING BRUCE
While your ganache is setting, slice the sponges. Each sponge will be sliced
into four, so you’ll have twelve all together. You can do this using a cake
wire, but I’ve honestly never used one, so I can’t give you any tips in that
regard – but it’s probably easier than doing it the way we do it at GET
BAKED®. We do it with a very long serrated bread knife, and a turntable.
Using the turntable to turn the cake, slice the sponge one layer at a time. It’s
a difficult technique to explain without showing you, but the way to achieve
level slices is to let the knife do the work, keep your cutting hand (and the
knife) still, and focussing your attention on turning the cake around the
knife. The top of the cake will be slightly domed, uneven, and imperfect.
Slice the tops off and cling-film them to use later. You won’t need them for
Bruce, but they’ll be essential if you want to make Bruce’s Balls – plus,
who wants to waste cake. I don’t, that’s for sure.
When you’ve taken the top off, slice the cake into layers and stack them on
top of each other with a layer of greaseproof paper between them so that
they don’t stick. When you’ve sliced all three cakes, removed all the tops,
and got twelve thin layers of sponge, wrap the stack in cling film and put
them back in the fridge.
You’re now at the mercy of your ganache. You can’t start to build Bruce
until the ganache is set perfectly. Any attempts to start prematurely will end
in tears. I’ve been there and it’s hell.
When the ganache is ready, place a 28cm (11in) cake drum on top of your
cake turntable (with a damp J-cloth underneath to stop it sliding) and place
the first layer of sponge into the middle of the drum. It’s very likely that
you’ll have some layers that are thicker than others, and I’d recommend
using the thicker ones at the bottom of the cake. Think of them like
foundations for building your house. Except you’re not building a house,
you’re building one of the most famous chocolate cakes in the world. It’s
important to bear in mind that Bruce is not supposed to be pretty. For that
reason, I would only recommend using a palette knife to apply the ganache,
and not a piping (pastry) bag. Piping bags are great if you want everything
to look like it’s been made by someone that knows what they’re doing, but
you don’t know what you’re doing, and that’s fine.
Shmear a thick layer of ganache on top of your first layer of sponge, then
repeat the process until you’ve reached the top. Stop every couple of layers
to make sure that Bruce is straight – you can do this by eye, or by using a
spirit level. I’d recommend using a spirit level, it might seem a bit over the
top but the last thing you want is a 24-layer chocolate cake that looks like it
is on the verge of collapse. You need to be quite quick when you’re
assembling Bruce, because the ganache will continue to set while he’s being
built. The last thing you want is to get to a point where your ganache is too
firm, and you’ve got to soften it.
When you’ve built him, crack straight on with covering his exterior in
ganache. Continue using a palette knife to encase him, and use a cake
scraper to achieve a smooth finish. Bruce’s signature lined pattern is
achieved by warming a clean palette knife under a hot tap and turning the
turntable around the palette knife, creating a sort of hypnotic whirl. Make
sure you dry the palette knife after warming it, or you’ll get water drops all
over him, and he doesn’t like water.
Bruce will be ready to slice immediately – he doesn’t need any time to set,
because he’s Bruce, and he makes his own rules. You’ll need a very large,
very sharp, non-serrated knife. If you haven’t got one, buy one, because
everyone should have one in their kitchen. Make sure the knife is hot before
you attempt any slicing – run it under a hot tap and dry it off with a towel.
I’m going to be honest with you, slicing Bruce perfectly is not easy, and it
takes most of our team about 200 slices worth of practice before they’re
able to slice him perfectly.
Slices of Bruce will keep perfectly well for up to 3 days in a sealed
container. Some people seem to like to keep him in the fridge, but I strongly
recommend storing Bruce at room temperature. You will not experience
him at his best if he’s fridge cold, so if you do insist on keeping him
refrigerated, let him come up to room temperature before devouring him.
He also freezes incredibly well for up to a month. Honestly, you’d never
even know he’d been frozen.
Personally, I like to enjoy Bruce warm, but this is totally down to
preference. At room temperature, he is obviously extremely rich and
incredibly dense. After 20 seconds in the microwave, his ganache will
soften, and he will just be easier to gorge on.
◁ BRUCE’S BALLS
There’s no better way to utilise your leftover Bruce sponge than to
turn it into the most magnificent cake truffle you’ve ever tasted.
MAKES
12 Balls
INGREDIENTS
For the chocolate crumble

30g (1oz) water
75g (2¾oz) 55% dark chocolate, chopped up if in bar form
5g (⅛oz) sea salt
For his insides

The tops from 3 Bruce sponges
For the chocolate coating

50g (1¾oz) 55% dark chocolate, chopped up if in bar form
25g (1oz) vegetable oil
METHOD
Start by making the chocolate crumble. Heat the water and sugar in a
saucepan over a medium heat. Using a candy thermometer or temperature
probe, take the sugar syrup to 130°C (270°F). Do not stir or do anything at
all with the pan. Be careful because these are extremely high temperatures
and if you think burning yourself on an oven is bad, wait until you do it
with boiling sugar – it’s not fun. At all. As soon as it reaches temperature,
remove from the heat and add the chocolate to the pan. Stir immediately
using a wooden spoon. The chocolate crumble will form almost instantly as
the chocolate seizes the sugar syrup and things just get very magical for a
couple of seconds.
That’s it, your chocolate crumble is ready; all you’ve got to do now is let it
cool down for a few minutes before blitzing to a crumb in a food processor.
When you’ve done that, set it to one side.
Now for the main element of Bruce’s Balls – their insides. Break the
sponges up into big pieces and put into the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with
the beater attachment. Beat the sponges on the lowest speed. This is the
easiest way to break the sponges up, if you try to do it by hand, the heat
from your hands will make it more difficult. When the sponges are broken
and the contents of the bowl look like a cake crumb, add the milk, bit by bit.
You might not need all the milk, certain things will play a part in how much
you need, for example, the heat in your kitchen and how well you baked the
sponges. If you overbaked them, they’ll be drier and will therefore require
more milk. This also means you’re a failure and I want nothing to do with
you. Close the book. We’re finished. Anyway, add the milk until the cake
comes back together and forms a big ball of moistness. You don’t want it to
be wet, you want it to be moist. That’s right. Moist. The mixture should be
easy to roll into balls without leaving any residue on your hands. If cake is
sticking to anything other than more cake, you’ve added too much milk. If
you add too much milk, you’d better hope you’ve got some spare cake left
to add to the mixture.
Bruce’s Balls are big. They are not supposed to be the size of a chocolate
truffle. If you want to make bitesize balls or baby balls (weird) then that’s
on you. However, Bruce’s Balls are of a particular size and I’d appreciate it
if you read the memo. We use an ice cream scoop to ensure that they’re the
same size every time. Once scooped, perfect the shape of the balls by
rolling them in your hands. Don’t obsess over this – the individuality of
each love-nugget is what makes them special. Once you have rolled 12
balls, bang them on a tray lined with greaseproof paper and into the fridge
to firm up.
While they’re getting firm, make the chocolate coating. This is just good-
quality dark chocolate mixed with a flavourless oil. We use vegetable oil
because it’s readily available and doesn’t taste like licking an olive. Melt
the chocolate in the microwave in 30-second bursts, stirring between bursts
so that it doesn’t burn. Once melted, thoroughly mix in the oil. The oil stops
the chocolate from setting. It’s going to take a bit of time to coat the balls
and if the chocolate didn’t have any oil in it, it would start hardening while
you were mid-flow. The oil keeps things slick. This is starting to sound like
an erotic novel. It isn’t, it’s a recipe book. Bear in mind, the chocolate will
still harden with the oil in it, it just takes longer – so you should still work
pretty quickly.
The next part is a two-person job so you’re going to have to rope someone
in to help you. If you try and do it alone it’s just really annoying. Maybe
you could turn it into a team-building exercise at the workplace? Whatever
the situation may be, you’ll need a ball-rolling partner. One person is
covering the balls in chocolate, and the other person is rolling them around
in the chocolate crumble. I’d strongly recommend that the person covering
the balls in the melted chocolate wears gloves, it’s just a lot less messy. If
you throw the balls in the chocolate, they’ll get far too much chocolate on
them. You only want a very thin layer of chocolate, as its main job is just to
ensure that the chocolate crumble sticks to the balls. So, instead, cover the
palms of your gloves in melted chocolate and roll the balls between your
hands. This will ensure that they’re not dripping with melted chocolate, and
only have a thin coating. The other team member just needs to shake the
bowl with the chocolate crumble around to cover the balls. Once covered,
you’re done.
If you want Bruce’s Balls to be dense and fudgy, keep them in the fridge. If
you’d prefer them to be cakey and a bit less rich, keep them at room
temperature. Why not keep one in the fridge and one on the kitchen side?
Multi-textural ball party – count me in. They’ll keep perfectly well for 5
days. You can freeze them for up to a month, but the crumble might lose
some of its crunch.
◁ BRUCE’S JUICES
The ultimate bonus track. Just when you thought it was over, I
throw a Bruce milkshake in your face. Not literally, you’re not that
special. It’s only right that the only beverage in this book revolves
around Bruce. Then again, can you really call something a
beverage if it’s packed full of chocolate cake? Drink up.
MAKES
1 milkshake
INGREDIENTS
80g (2¾oz) double (heavy) cream

100g (3½oz) Bruce cake sponge
100g (3½oz) chocolate ice cream
50g (1¾oz) 55% dark chocolate, melted
5g (⅛oz) sea salt
30g (1oz) expen$ive sprinkles, to serve
METHOD
Start by whipping the cream, following the method for Properly Whipped
Cream on this page. Once whipped, spoon into a piping (pastry) bag, and
refrigerate.
Put the cake, ice cream, melted chocolate, milk, and sea salt in a blender
and blend on high speed until thick and creamy. If preferred, you can blend
everything except the cake, and mix this in by hand afterwards, resulting in
bigger pieces of sponge, making it more of an eat with a spoon kind of
affair.
Pour the milkshake into your favourite glass and top with the whipped
cream. Finish with sprinkles and drink through the most over-the-top straw
that you can find.
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INDEX
A
amaretti biscuits: honey peach pie 75
B
bananas: banana custard 64–7
Banoffee pie 64–7
barbecued banana brownies 76
Banoffee pie 64–7
Belgian waffles:
lemon meringue pie 58–61
Mr Pistachio pie 42–5
birthday cake, expen$ive 117–19
birthday truffles 120
blueberries: blueberry jam 70
blueberry pancake cookies 83
purple haze pie 70
bourbon biscuits: Pietro pie 48–51
brittle, peanut 38
brownies: barbecued banana brownies 76
O.G. brownies 18–21
peanut and caramel brownies 41
s’mores brownies 26
triple chocolate brownies 25
Bruce 122–37
Bruce’s balls 133–5
Bruce’s juices 136
buns: expen$ive buns 114–16
morning buns 90–2
buttercream, vanilla 117–19
C
cakes and brownies: barbecued banana
brownies 76
Bruce 124–30
expen$ive birthday cake 117–19
campfire pie 14–17
caramel 102–3
Banoffee pie 64–7
honey peach pie 75
smoky pecan cookies 46
speculoos pie 98–101
carrot cake cookies 69
cheesecake, milk & cookies 113
cherry and custard crumble pie 78–81
chocolate 10–33
Banoffee pie 64–7
barbecued banana ganache 76
birthday truffles 120
Bruce 124–30
chocolate cremeux 48–51
dark chocolate ganache 124–30
dark chocolate truffles 12
edible cookie dough 109
H2O truffles 22
hazelnut ganache 48–51
milk & cookies cheesecake 113
peanut butter and dark chocolate ganache 41
Pietro pie 48–51
pistachio ganache 42–5
salted chocolate cookies 28
salted dark chocolate ganache 30–1
cinnamon: cinnamon and raisin cookies 97
cinnamon toaster pastries 93–5
morning buns 90–2
cookie dough, edible 109
cookies: blueberry pancake cookies 83
cinnamon and raisin cookies 97
raspberry-glazed donut cookies 110
cookies & cream spread: milk & cookies cheesecake 113
cream: baked cherry and custard
crumble pie 78–81
Banoffee pie 64–7
barbecued banana ganache 76
caramel 102–3
chocolate cremeux 48–51
custard 78–81
honey peach pie 75
lemon posset 58–61, 70
lime posset 72
mascarpone cream 75
peanut butter ganache 36
properly whipped cream 84–5
purple haze pie 70
raspberry cream 36
strawberry limeade pie 72
cream cheese: cream cheese glaze 69
morning buns 90–2
cremeux, chocolate 48–51
crumble pie, baked cherry and custard 78–81
custard: baked cherry and custard
crumble pie 78–81
banana custard 64–7
D
digestive biscuits: Banoffee pie 64–7
PBJ pie 36
donut cookies, raspberry-glazed 110
E
edible cookie dough 109
eggs: custard 78–81
Italian meringue 52–3
equipment 9
expen$ive buns 114–16
F
fruit 54–87
funfetti sponges: birthday truffles 120
G
ganache: barbecued
banana ganache 76
ginger biscuits: purple haze pie 70
glazes 114–16
cream cheese glaze 69
maple glaze 83
raspberry donut glaze 110
vanilla glaze 97
grapefruit bars, pink 62
H
H2O truffles 22
honey peach pie 75
I
ice cream: Bruce’s juices 136
raspberry mallow 42–5
J
jam: blueberry jam 70
strawberry jam 72
K
kit list 9
L
lemons: lemon meringue pie 58–61
lemon posset 58–61, 70
limes: lime posset 72
Lotus biscuits: speculoos pie 98–101
M
mallow, raspberry 42–5
maple syrup:
cream cheese glaze 69
maple glaze 83
mascarpone: honey peach pie 75
meringue, Italian: campfire pie 14–17
milkshake: Bruce’s juices 136
morning buns 90–2
N
Nutella: hazelnut ganache 48–51
nuts 34–53
H2O truffles 22
O
oat biscuits: Banoffee pie 64–7
honey peach pie 75
oats: baked cherry and custard
crumble pie 78–81
Oreo cookies: milk & cookies cheesecake 113
P
pancake cookies, blueberry 83
pastries, cinnamon toaster 93–5
PBJ pie 36
peaches: honey peach pie 75
peanut butter: PBJ pie 36
peanuts: peanut and caramel brownies 41
peanut brittle 38
pecans: barbecued banana brownies 76
pies: baked cherry and custard
crumble pie 78–81
Banoffee pie 64–7
honey peach pie 75
PBJ pie 36
Pietro pie 48–51
purple haze pie 70
Pietro pie 48–51
pink grapefruit bars 62
pistachio crème:
possets: lemon posset 58–61, 70
lime posset 72
purple haze pie 70
R
raisins: cinnamon and raisin cookies 97
raspberries: PBJ pie 36
raspberry flavouring: raspberry-glazed donut cookies 110
raspberry jam: PBJ pie 36
S
shortbread: pink grapefruit bars 62
soured cream: Bruce 124–30
spice 88–105
strawberries: strawberry jam 72
sugar 106–21
T
toaster pastries, cinnamon 93–5
truffles: birthday truffles 120
H2O truffles 22
V
vanilla: vanilla buttercream 117–19
vanilla glaze 97
W
waffles: lemon meringue pie 58–61
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THANKS
I’d like to begin by thanking my mum. I wouldn’t be here without her. Not
only do I mean that literally, because she birthed me, but because in the
early days of GET BAKED®, she let me operate the business from her
kitchen. I don’t tell her enough how much I love her, but I think this will
make up for it, because it’s now in writing.
Thank you to my sister Marnie, who I’m incredibly close to, and my
brother-in-law Phil, for the support and belief they’ve shown me from day
one, even when things weren’t going according to plan.
My darling wife Amy, who deserves a medal for putting up with me.
You have been with me at my worst, and occasionally seen me at my best.
Without you, I wouldn’t be able to function, let alone write this book.
To my daughter Sage, who isn’t old enough to be able to read this yet, I
love you more than you could ever imagine, and hopefully I make you as
proud of me, as I am of you.
Lakey, who has been with the business since day one. It’s been quite the
journey. You understand this brand better than anyone, and I know how
much the business means to you. I am so grateful for your continued
commitment to GET BAKED®.
Laura, who runs our bakery, and keeps me in business. Your hard work
is incredibly appreciated, and thank you for making almost all of the stuff
photographed in this book. Seeing as I’ve forgotten how to bake. Just
kidding. Kinda.
Thank you to Kate for building the magnificent Bruce that was used in
this book. I’m delighted for you that you now have a famous thumb.
To Ellis, who produced all of the amazing photography inside this book,
Vic for her prop styling magic, Bella for all her editing and my publisher
Jess for giving me the opportunity to share these recipes with the world.
Our success is owed almost entirely to the team working at our store in
Headingley, and our production bakery in Leeds. I am very lucky to have
people working with the business that genuinely care, and do their best day
in, day out.
I must also thank our customers. We are so unbelievably lucky to have
such a loyal following, and so many of them have been with us through the
good times, and the bad. I am incredibly grateful to all of you.
Lastly, I’d like to thank my dad. I wish more than anything that he was
here to read this book. My passion for food, and the drive to do something
meaningful with that passion, is all because of him.
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This book, and anything of significance that I ever achieve in
my life, is in dedication to my father.
Dad, I know how proud you’d be.
And who can blame you.
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First published in 2023 by White Lion Publishing, an imprint of The Quarto Group
One Triptych Place, London, SE1 9SH, United Kingdom
www.Quarto.com
Text © 2023 Rich Myers

Photography © 2023 Ellis Parrinder
Design © 2023 Evi-O Studio
Rich Myers has asserted his moral right to be identified as the Author of this Work in accordance
with the Copyright Designs and Patents Act 1988.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or utilised in any form or by any means,
electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and
retrieval system, without permission in writing from White Lion Publishing.
Every effort has been made to trace the copyright holders of material quoted in this book. If
application is made in writing to the publisher, any omissions will be included in future editions.
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
ISBN 978-0-7112-7971-1
Ebook ISBN 978-0-7112-7972-8
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Photographer & Art Director: Ellis Parrinder

Prop stylist: Victoria Twyman
Publisher: Jessica Axe
Editorial Director: Nicky Hill
Editor: Bella Skertchly
Copy-editor: Laura Nickoll
Design: Evi-O.Studio | Wilson Leung, Katherine Zhang, Kait Polkinghorne & Susan Le
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600g (1lb 5oz) 55–70% dark chocolate

For the digestive biscuit crust

For the filling

750g (1lb 10oz) caster (superfine) sugar

Preheat your oven to 160°C (320°F/gas 3).

600g (1lb 5oz) 55–70% dark chocolate

For the triple chocolate topping

Follow the recipe for the O.G. Brownies.

For the brownie

For the Italian meringue topping

Follow the recipe for the O.G. Brownies.

For the peanut butter ganache

For the raspberry cream

100g (3½oz) flaked shelled peanuts (blanched and unsalted)

For the brownie

For the peanut butter and dark chocolate ganache

Follow the recipe for the O.G. Brownies.

For the toasted waffle crust

For the pistachio ganache

For the raspberry mallow

Preheat your oven to 180°C (350°F/gas 4).

For the cookies

For the chocolate biscuit crust

For the chocolate cremeux

For the hazelnut ganache

475g (1lb ½oz) caster (superfine) sugar

Put the caster (superfine) sugar and water in a heavy-bottomed saucepan

For the toasted waffle crust

For the lemon posset

For the Italian meringue

Preheat your oven to 180°C (350°F/gas 4).

For the shortbread

For the pink grapefruit topping

Preheat the oven to 160°C (320°F/gas 3).

For the biscuit crust

For the caramel

For the banana custard

For the whipped cream

140g (5oz) softened unsalted butter

For the cream cheese glaze

For the lemon posset

For the blueberry jam

For the ginger biscuit crust

For the lime posset

For the strawberry jam

For the honey-roasted peaches

For the amaretti biscuit crust

For the mascarpone cream

For the brownie

For the caramelised pecans

For the barbecued banana ganache

750g (1lb 10oz) shop-bought cherry pie filling

For the pastry

For the custard

For the spiced crumble

For the maple glaze

500g (1lb 2oz) double (heavy) cream

For the dough