Di

arykaSi
nenhl
anhl
a
I
NSERT101

OoToticameandwer eallyhadwonder f
ul
weekend.Ayandawant edmypar entstocome
andstaywithusbutmyf atherrefusedso
baf
ikel
aeKui l
sriver,helentthem oneofhi s
car
sinsteadofhi r
ing.Sonat hiwespentt he
weekendinKuilsri
ver.Xhant il
eftonWednesday
bef
oretheyarri
v ed,soi twasmysel f,Ayanda,
Ndumiso, Tot
iandbaba.

Totitri
edherlevelbesttotalktous(meand
Ayanda)andi treall
yhelpedt otal
ktosomeone
whooncet r
avel
edt hesamer oadwehavebeen
through.Iknowy ouwon' tbel
ievemebutIdi
dn'
t
shedev enasingletear.YhaaIwasr eal
l
y
growingandget ti
ngstrongerdaily
.
WespokenoTot i aboutr andom t hingsev en
aboutAy anda' smot heri nhi sabsent i
aof
cour se, call medumb, st upidoral i
arbutIt ol
d
Toti thatev ent houghAy anda'smom doesn' t
l
ikemebutshef onesj ustt ocheckuponus
mor eespeci all
ynowt hatIj ustmi scarri
ed.
Thosewhoar emar ri
edt heywi ll
under stand,
gettingmar ri
edi snotachi l
d'spl ayi t
sev en
wor sei fy ouar eonl y19, ir
respect i
v eofwhat
wasgoi ngonbet weenmeandLomzi Ihadt o
protectumzi wami .Idi dn'ttellhert hatLomz i
akaf unekundi bonaemzi niwakheandt hatshe
saidshewi l
lnev eracceptmeasAy anda' swife.
Iwasn' tmaki ngupst or i
esonl yf ormeand
Ayanda' sf ami l
ybutmymot hertoo, Iwasnot
goingt owor rymymot herat al
l.Ngomphi
umzal iufunukwazi ubaherdaught eruhlezikabi
emzi ni Idoubtukhona.

OnSunday
,theyl
eft
,thei
rfl
i
ghtwasat12:
15,
it
wassadbuty eahbekumel ebehambi l
e.2
weekslat erNdumi soal solef
t,wetookhimt o
air
port,Idon'twannal iebekubuhlungu,Ihada
verystr
ongbondwi thNdumi so,Iguesshis
personali
tywasal mostt hesameasmi ne, soit
wasbackatbei ngjustthetwoofus.

Youknowwheny ouareusedtobearound
manypeopleandsuddenl
ytheyl
eftbekunj
alo
kenakut
hibutwit
hus,Lif
eisneverdul
linour
company.

Totianddadexplainedtoust hatIneedtogo
homei nMatati
eleforcleansi
ng(t heysayi
nmy
cul
tureyohl
ambai simny ama,soshonelwa
yi
nganesot hatyouwi l
lbeabletobearagain)
andtherewasnot hingIcoulddo,Ihadtodoit
l
isi
kol ami
.Weagr eedukuy angoDecemberas
soonasngivalaemsebenzi ni
.
Weal sofonedAy anda' sgr andmot her, she
sympathizedwi thus.Shet ri
edherl ev elbestto
comf or
tus, Ireallytakemyhatof ft ot hatlady,
sheknowswhatt osay ,whenandhowt osayit.
Shetoldme, t
hatwasnott heendoft hewor l
d
andthatIwi l
lbeabl etobearmanyKhumal os
asmuchasIwant ed,andt hatngingasol i muntu,
i
twasal lGod' swi ll
.Ihadt opokeAy andawhen
hetri
edt osayi twasnotGod' swillbutZi masa'
s.YesZi masahadwr ongedusbutIdi dn'twant
peopletohat eherbecauseofwhatshedi dto
me.Shest ressedt hatweneedt ogohomeand
i
ntroducedourbabyt otheancest ors, givehera
name, whichwasnotdi f
fi
cul tcasAy andahad
al
readygivenheraname, SANGEKHUMALO, all
wehadt odowast ogohomeanddoi t
ngokwesiko.Sowehadt wocer emoni est hat
wehadt odo, bothwer esmal l,j
ustf ami ly.
Oneofnami ngt hebabywasgoi ngtobei n
Cofi
mv abaandt
heot
heroneofcl
eansi
ng,
in
Matati
ele,
sowedeci
dedtodobot
hofthem
ngoDecember.

Makhulutol
dust otryagai
nassoonas
possi
bleandthat,i
twouldgiv
eusmore
chancesofconceivi
ngbutIwassonotpl
anni
ng
tohaveanotherbabysoon.

Ayanda'sVi t
owasdel i
vered000.000kms, t
he
thoughtofthereasonwhyheboughtt hecar
real
lykil
l
edme, t
heexcitementhehadt heday
athiuzoyi
thengawaspr i
celessbutthatj
ust
fadedwithinamont h.

Me:whyngazangeuy
icancel
-i
sheaf
tert
he
mi
scar
ri
agebhabha.
Ay
anda:
nobhabhasi
sezobanaboabant
wana
soitwi
l
lcomei
nhand,
itmi
ghtnotbet
odaybut
oneday.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

4mont
hsl
ater
.

ItwasAugust, wewer estil

ltoget
hernoYanda,
sti
lli
nlovewitheachot her,wewer esti
llt
hat
coupleyouwoul dadmirefrom adistance.
Thingswer est
il
lgoingfineatwork.Iwasr eal
l
y
happyinfactwewer ereall
yhappy.

Wewoul dhavet hosepi ckupfi

ghtskebecause
ofAyanda'sinsecurit
iesbutnothingmajor
.He
neverl
aidhishandonmesi ncethatni
ghtka
Muso.Iwoulddr iv
emy selft
owor kbut
someti
meshewoul dfor cet
otakemet owork.
I
nDecemberafterthecer emonies,
wewer e
planni
ngt
ogoandv isitXhant
iinPret
ori
ano
MawandeandMsi ra, t
hatmeanswewer egoi
ng
tospendonl
ythefirst2weeksi nEaster
ncape
thengotoPretor
ia.

Itwassat urday,
soIdeci dedt ogot oCputand
borrowedt hebookIneededf ormyassi gnment,
Ithenwentt oJabul ainBell
vill
eanddi dmyhair.
Iwant edt ocookl asagnaandIwant edtodo
somegr ocer i
esatpickandpaysoIwentpass
Tygerv al
ley.Iwasappr oachingWool wort
hs
storewhenIhear dagi rl
'
sv oicecalli
ngmy
namei twasj ustbehindme, Ijustconti
nued
walking,whowoul dcallmet hatinTy ger
vall
ey.

Gi
rl'
svoi
ce:
ausi
Pri
ncess

Me:
Ikeptqui
te
Gi
rl
'
svoi
ce:
ausi
Pri
ncess

Il
ookedbacki
twasNtat
iwi
thhisbr
other,
she
camerunni
ngtomeandhuggedme.

Nt
ati
:Dumel
a(hel
l
ow)ausi
Me:
Dumel
a(hel
l
ow)baby
.(Iki
ssedhercheek)
Nt
ati
:okae(howar
eyou)
Me:
ket
engbabywena(I
'
mfi
neandy
oubaby
)
Nt
ati
:keshar
pausi
.

Musocame.

Muso:
Pri
ncess
Me:
heyPr
ince(hebl
ushed)
Muso:
howar
eyoudoi
ng?
Me:
I'
m gr
eatt
hanxandy
ou.
Muso:
can'
tcompl
ain.
Ntat
i:ausiPr
incess,abut
itol
dmeutl
abale
l
esea(baby
).Ukuphi?
canIseeherpl
ease.
Me:
okaynanay
ouwi
l
l
Ntat
i:pl
easecomewi
thus,
I'
m sur
eabut
i
won'
tmind.
Muso:noNt at
i,I
'
m sur
eausi
Pri
ncesshas
bet
tert
hingstodo
Nt
ati
:pl
easeausi
Me:
wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
Nt
ati:
koSpurausi
,kel
etsat
sil
akal
atl
hoho
(i
tsmybi
rt
hday)
Me: whawhappybi
rt
hdaybaby
.Odel
emot
se
kae.(Howol
dareyou)
Nt
ati
:I'
mtur
ning14.
Me:
int
hatcasespuri
tisandi
tsonme.
Nt
ati
:yeppppy
,thanxausi
Muso:
noPr
incess,
youdon'
thav
eto.
Me:
don'
tst
ressIwantt
o.
Muso:
buty
ouar
enotpay
ing.
Me:
Iam,
justf
orNt
ati
hey
.
Muso:
noPr
incess.
Me:
okt
hen.(Ismi
l
ed)
Muso:
usal
imont
le(y
oust
il
lbeaut
if
ul)
Me:
keal
eboha(t
hanky
ou)
Ntati
:Iwannabebeaut
if
ull
i
keherabut
iwhen
I
'm ol
d.
Me:
youar
eal
readymyangel
.
Nt
ati
:butI
'
m noty
ell
owasy
ouausi
Me:I'
m noty
ell
ownanaj
ustl
i
ghti
ncompl
exi
on
l
ikey
ou.
Muso:
let
'
sgot
hen.

Wewal kedt ospurandNt ati

wascar r
yingmy
bag, shewasr eall
yf ondofmeshame, sheis
thelittl
egirlwhousedt ocallmekuqalawhen
Musowant edtotalkt ome(hi ghschool l
i
fe)
andshei sthegirlwhocamenoMusoandhi s
mot heronmyweddi ng.Wegott hereandwe
ordered, Musokeptonl ooki
ngatmeasi fhe
want edt oasksomet hing.Spurpeoplesangfor
Ntati andshewasr eallyhappy.

I
ngakaYanda.
;
-)
[
08/
18,
23:
27]Mca:
INSERT102

Ntat
iwantedtowatchamov iesoMusopaidf
or
hert
icketandboughtherpopcor
nsanddr
ink
wangena.,wewait
edforheratZi
ggi
s,wejust
boughtcof
feecaswewer
est
il
lful
l
.

Muso:
Pri
ncess
Me:
hey
Muso:
canIasky
ousomet
hing?
Me:
yes
Muso:youjustgavebir
thi
fndi
balar
it
e,why
i
nganeyakhoingekhokuweoryouar
enot
br
eastf
eeding.
Me:
tjhee(no)
.Il
ookeddown.
Muso:youknowy
ouar
eabadl
i
ary
akwazi
l
okhoangi
thi
?.
Me:
ther
eisnobaby
Muso:
whatdoy
oumeanPr
incess?
Me:
Imi
scar
ri
edPr
ince
Muso:
ohhmyGod,
when,
how,
arey
ouok?
Me: at5months,
itwasj
ustami
scar
ri
age,
yes
I
'm okPri
nce.

Tearsj
uststr
oll
eddownmycheeks, hecame
andhuggedme, judgemebutMusohadt his
eff
ectonmewhi chwaswayst rongert hanthe
oneAyandahadonme, Idon'
tknowwhy, y
es
hehurtmebutIstil
lfel
tcomf ortabletalki
ngt o
hi
m.Hewasagoodl i
stenernott hatIwasst il
l
i
nlovewithhim,noIlovemyYanda.

Me:
I'
m okmaar
nPr
ince
Muso:
younotPr
incess
Me: Iam honest
ly,
youknowi
nyembezi
zami
zi
bakhoev enifI
'
m happy
Muso:hesmi
l
ed,
honest
lyhowar
eyouno
Ay
anda.
Me:
wegoodPr
ince,
yeswehav
ebeent
hrough
alotbutwearest
il
lther
eforeachot
herandour
l
oveissti
ll
str
ong.
Muso: I
'm glad, Iwon' tliePr i
ncessandsayI
don'tl
ov ey ou, Ist i
lllovey ouandIwi llalways
l
ov eyoubutt rustmeIcanseeAy andamakes
youhappyandi fyouar ehappyt henIam nami .
Ihurtyousobadl y,
IdoubtIwi lleverf orgi
v e
my sel
fbutI 'm gl ady ouf indt r
uel ov e.Yhaa
Ayandasomet imesgi v emecr eepsandhecan
bescar ytoobutIknowhel ovesy ou, theway
helooksaty ou, thewayhet r
eat syou, Iwill
neverspoi lthatf ory ou.Ial mostr ui
ny ourli
fe,
andIdon' tintendt odoi tagain,anddon' t
despair,youwi l
l defi
nat elyhav eki ds, beaut i
ful
asy ou,cal m, humbl eandgr oundedl ikey ou.Yo
areamazi ngPr incess, strongandy ouhav ea
heartofanangelIj usthopeAy andadoesn' t
takethatf orgr anted, casIoncedi dandnow
I'
ml i
vingtor egr etfort hemi stakesIdi d.
I
nawayIr
eal
l
yfel
tforMuso

Me:
heyenoughaboutme,
wenahowar
eyou.
Muso: muchbett
er,
li
fei
sgoodIdon'twanna
l
ie,st
il
lsi
nglet
houghandI'
m notl
ooki
ng.I
hav
eNt at
iwhokeepsmegoing.
Me:
soshei
sst
ayi
ngwi
thy
ou.
Muso:yes,Icamebackwi
thheremva
komshadowakho.Shei
sst
udyi
ngthi
sside.
Me:
that
'sgr
eat
.
Muso: sher
emi
ndsmeofy
ou,
shei
sev
er
cr
ying.
Me:
heyIwasn'
tthatbad.
Muso:
youwer
ePr
incess

Isul
ked
Muso:
yousee
Me:
aiy
ymaar
nPr
ince.

Webot
hlaughed

Muso: Pri
ncessthankyouMar hadebef or
ever
y thi
ngy ouhavedoneforme, ifi
twasn'tfor
you,Iwouldn'tbewhereIam today, myf amil
y,
mysi bli
ngswouldn'tbewheret heyaretoday,
fort
hatIknowGodhassomet hingbeauti
ful
akubekeley onaanddon'tl
etabant uaba
ungratefull
ikemebakushintshey ourheart
.
Me:
uzongi
khal
i
sauy
azi
.
Muso:don'
tpl
ease,
phel
amasewukhal
ayou
don'
tst
op
Me:
kant
ingay
ekakey
azi
.
Muso:
you!
!Mhl
aamahasheanempondo.
Me:
ngi
rit
e.(Il
ookeddown.)
Muso: y
ouj ustr
emi ndedoft hedayIwentt o
yourclassroom ngel unch,youwer esoshy,
youcouldn'tevenlookatme, Ihadtobegy ou
tolookintomyey es, yousaidinav erylowand
smallvoice, "
Iwil
lbet urni
ng15ont he10
October'(heimit
atedmyv oice)y oureall
y
l
ookedl i
key ouwer e13
Me:
andy
oui
nsul
tedme
Muso:
bysay
ingwhat
.
Me:
thatIhav
ewei
rdey
es
Muso:
theyst
il
lar
eangi
thi
.

Isul
ked

Muso:I'
mjoki
ng,
theyarejustbeaut
if
uland
sexy
.(Hewassti
ll
laughi
ng)
Me:
hai
imaar
nPr
ince.
Muso: Imissedthoseday si
fIdidn'tbehave
l
ikeadog, wewoul dsti
ll
bet ogethermay be
haveourchil
d,abeauti
fulonecaswebot hare.
Me:
whot
oldy
out
hat,
,
,casumumbi
nje.
Muso:notmemaybemyshadow.agai
nI'
m
sor
ryPr
incess.
Me:
all
for
got
ten(Ismi
l
ed)

Muso'
sfoner
angandhepi
ckedup.

Muso: nana,
,
,,I
'
m her
eatZi
ggi
s,
,,
,
,ley
enaut
eng
,,
,shar
pke

Hedr
oppedt
hecal
l

Muso:
thatwasNt
ati
,shewasaski
ng
usekhonana.Thanky
ouforst
ayi
ng,Iknowif
bephumaungekhoshewasgoi
ngtocry.She
real
lyador
esyou.
Me:
whodoesn'
tador
eme(Il
aughed)
Muso:
sot
rue,
Idoubtukhona.
Me:
bakhonakant
i,y
ouwi
l
lbesur
pri
sed.

Nt
ati
sawusandcamer
unni
ng.

Me:
didy
ouenj
oyt
hemov
ie?
Nt
ati
:yesIdidausi,
youshoul
dhav
egonewi
th
meandthankyouforst
ayi
ng.
Me:
any
thi
ngf
ory
ouPr
incess
Muso:t
samayayoyi
thekel
aicecream r
etl
o
t
samaya(goandbuyicecr
eam foryour
sel
f,so
t
hatwecango).
Nt
ati
:ahhabut
i,Kenakomang(whatt
imei
sit
)
Muso:
lat
e,ausi
Pri
ncessneedst
ogethome.
Nt
ati
:maar
ayouar
eunf
air
.

ShecamebackandIwentt opi
cknpayand
boughtthi
ngsIneeded,
thent
heyaccompani
ed
met othecar
.
Me: Iwil
l gi
veabuti
thi
smoneyt obuyyoua
present
,ifIknewthattodaywasy ourbi
rt
hday,
I
wouldhav eboughtyouapr esent
.(IgaveMuso
R200)
Nt
ati
:keal
eboa(t
hanky
ou)Ousi
Pri
ncess
Me:
pleasur
enana.
Nt
ati
:whenwi
l
lIseey
ouagai
n.
Muso:nanaausi
Pri
ncessi
sver
ybusy(she
sul
ked)
Me:
Iwi
l
lseenanawhenI
'
m notbusy,
I
pr
omi
se.(Shesmi
l
ed)
Nt
ati
:keaor
ata(Il
ovey
ou)
Me:
lennakeaor
ata.(Il
ovey
out
oo)
Muso:
ohhbuty
ounev
ert
oldmet
haty
oul
ove
me.
Ntat
i:wenaabuti
,youalway
sscol
dmewhen
I
'm wrong,
ausiPri
ncessnev
erdi
dthat
.

Icoul
dn'
thel
pbutlaugh,wegott
omycarand
Musoopenedthedoorforme,Ihuggedand
ki
ssedNtat
ionhercheek.Musoalsohugged
andki
ssedmeonmycheek.

Muso:
dri
vesaf
e
Me:
thanky
ouandIwi
l
l
Muso:
thanky
ouf
orev
ery
thi
ng.
Ismi
l
ed.

Me:
byeguy
s,Ihoot
edandl
eft
.

JustwhenIwasaboutt
oopent
hegat
e,my
fonerang,
Ipi
ckedup.

Me:
Yanda
Ay
anda:
heywennabhabha,
wher
ear
eyou?
Me:
att
hegat
e
Ay
anda:
whi
chgat
e?
Me:
our
s.
Ayanda: Idon'
tseeanycarher
e(heopened
thefrontdoor,
bengasancumeumtuwami.I
droppedthecall,
hecameandopenedthedoor
forme.Igotoffandkissedhi
m.
Ayanda:damnMf aziwam, whydidn'
tyoutel
l
mey okwenzai
nhloko,youlookst
unning,come
gi
vedaddyakiss,wangisondezakuyeand
ki
ssedme, hesl
owlyletgo.
Me: t
hansbhabha,
andI'
m sor
ryt
hatI
'
mlat
e
ngi
l
ibeleeTyger
val
ley
Ayanda:t
hat
'swhyunukanendoda.Uv
elaphi
I
nganathi
?

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[08/18,23:27]Mca: NombuyiseloTumi
Mazi buko.HappybirthdaymyAngel ,mayGod
blessy ouwithmanymor eyears,hopeyouar
e
stil
lenjoyi
ngy ourday.Loveyoubhabhawami .

I
NSERT103

Me:
whatdoy
oumean?
Ayanda:fokofInganathisundi
buzaikaka,
awundivandit
hini,ar
ey oudeafnoworuf una
ndi
kufakeimpamakuv ul
ekeezondlebe.

It
ookt
wost
epsback.

Ay
anda:
ngenendl
i
niy
aphi
.
Me:
no,
I'
m notget
ti
ngi
nsi
de,
Ay
anda:
Iwon'
trepeatmysel
f.

Mfxmmm y ouknowifuhlezuuthet
hiswanoba
sewungenzangant
oi-wrongoy ouendupbeing
cheeky
.Iwalkedst
rai
ghtintothehouse.

Ay
anda:
arey
ougoi
ngt
oanswerme?
Me: yesAyanda!
!ImetMusoandhislit
tl
e
si
sterNtat
i.(Hi
sfacesuddenl
ychanged,he
clenchedhisjaws,
hecamecl
osert
ome, I
took3st epsback,
myeyeswer
einhishands)
.

Ay
anda:whatdi
dyoujustsay
?(Hesai
dthat
wi
thhi
seyeshal
fopened)
Me:
Imetu-Musobhabhaandhi
sli
tt
lesi
ster
.
Ay
anda:
arey
ouawar
eushadi
l
eInganat
hi?
Me:
yebo
Ay
anda:
whyungandi
hloni
phi
pho?
Me: Ido,Imetthem onmywayt opicknpay
andithappenedtobeNt ati'
sbir
thday,
wangicel
angibajoi
n-erthenwewentt ospur
,
thenwehadt owaitforherebekwimov i
e.
Ay
anda:
wai
twi
thwho?wi
thMusoangi
thi
?
Me:
yesAy
anda,
yini
inki
nge?
Ay
anda:
uyaj
olaI
nganat
hi?
Me:
(Iwant
edt
osayy
es,
Iwasf
edwi
thhi
s
i
nsecur
it
ies)
.NoAy
anda.
Ay
anda:
thenwhatdoy
oucal
lthat
?
Me:AyandaI
'
mt ir
edbhabha,I
'mt
ir
edKhumal
o
,ar
eyounotti
redofshout
ing?
Ay
anda:
whatdoy
our
eal
l
ywantf
rom Muso?
Me:
not
hing,
wewer
ejustt
alki
ng.
Ay
anda:
andt
hecol
ogne
Me:
hehuggedmemangi
hamba.
Ay
anda:
andubuy
elaendl
i
niunukaeny
eindoda?
Me: youdidn'
ttel
lmeI '
m notallowedtohug
amany eamadoda.Ingathingeubhalaipaper
el
ikhul
uandpl ugi
tlaemhl anekimiuthi,
DO
NOTHUGSI NENHLANHLA, AYANDA
ZONIGWI NYA
Ay
anda:
heywenaI
nganat
hi,
don'
tfuckent
est
me!!
Me:
Iwi
l
lnotl
i
stent
othi
s,I
'
m goi
ngt
otakea
shower
Ay
anda:
Inganat
hiKhumal
o!!

It
ookonest
epngi
yaeupst
airs,
hegrabbedmy
ar
m,andpi
nnedmeagai
nstthewal
l

Ayanda: don'tfuckenmesswi thmeI nganathi

becausebyt het i
meI '
m donewi thyou, y
ouwi l
l
beunr ecogni zabl
e,evenneDNAt ests
zakwehl ulekat oproveitwasr eall
yy ou,sundi
provoke-rawuzundi mela.Siyevana?(Hesai d
thatinav eryl owandpol it
etone, hewas
runni
nghi sindexfingerthroughmycheek, hav
e
youev erbeensoscar edi nyourlifethatyou
almostpeey ourself)

Iwant
edtosayy
esbutmyv
oicej
ust
di
sappear
edonme
Ay
anda:
siy
evana?
.

Inodded

Ay
anda:
good.(Hel
etgo)

Ij
ustst
oodther
emot i
onl
ess,Icouldn'tmove,I
wasshaki
ng,hewenttositi
nthel ounge.I
di
dn'
tmov eani
nch,Idon'
tthi
nkIwasawar e
ubaokondimeendaweni
nye.Ireall
ydon'tknow
whenAyandast
oodupwezaki mi .

Ay
anda:
bhabha

Zabuy
aingqondo.
Ay
anda:
bhabha.
Me: aiy
iAy andawongiyeka,whydon'tyoujust
hangme, shootmekubekany esothat
ungazuhlukumezeka.I
'm notall
owedtot al
kto
otherguystogooutwi t
houtreport
ingtoy ou.
Kantiwhatkindofalif
eam Ilivi
ng?
Ay
anda:
anor
mal
li
febhabha
Me: doy oucall
thi
snormal,l
astti
mey ouwer e
angryt
hatIdidn'tt
ell
youthetrut
h, nowI'
m
tel
l
ingyout hetr
uthanduyangi
lwisa,It
oldyouI
wil
lnevergobackt oMusoandnowI '
mt r
ying
tobehonestandt hi
siswhatIget.HayiI'
mt i
red
minaAy andathi
smar ri
agei
sreall
ysuffocati
ng
me.
Ay
anda:
tir
edofmeI
nganat
hi?
Me: ti
redofyouandus.Can'ty
ouseekwaphel
a
nenyembezikukukwesabaAyanda,
I'
mreal
ly
afr
aidofyouandt hi
siski
ll
i
ngmeemot i
onal
ly.
Ay
anda:
bhabha,
pleaseIdon'
twanty
out
obe
af
rai
dofmemf
azi
wam (hesai
dthati
nav
ery
l
owtone)
Me: wongi
yekaAyanda(Iwentupst
air
sand
tookashower,whenIcamebackhewas
sit
ti
ngonthebedlooki
ngdown).

YesAyandawasnotabusi ngmephy si
calbut
ubengi
sabisanje,
whothreatenshiswife
honest
lykanti
uphili
l
ekahlel aekhanda.

Ij
ustconti
nuedwi t
hwhatIwasdoing,
Iwore
mypj t
henwor eadressontop,
itwaslat
e
al
readybutIsti
ll
hadtogoandcook.Iwas
abouttoexi
tthedoorwhenhecall
edme.

Ay
anda:
bhabha
Me:
notnowAy
anda.
Ay
anda:
pleasebhabha,
justl
i
stent
ome
Mar
hadebe
Me: I
'mtir
edofli
steni
ngAyanda(Iwalkedout,
Iwenttotheki
tchenandst
artedcooki
ng.
Ayandajoi
nedme. )

Heheldmef rom thebackandturnedme, he

heldmywaist.That'
sonet hi
ngIhatengo
Ayanda,onemi nuteheisangry,
readytokil
l
andsmashy ou, hethr
eatensyouandwi t
hin
secondsusengomny eumuntuosekezisol
aand
nawey oumustbeok.

Ay
anda:
whati
swr
ongngam bhabha?
Me: angazi
(hhawuIdi
dn'
tcar
ebakwenzekani
,
Ihadenoughofhim)
Ayanda:
Idon'
tli
ket
hewayIam , Iknowyou
l
ovemebhabhaandItr
ustyoungikholwe,i
ts
meIdon'
ttr
ustkuwe,t
hethoughtoflosi
ngyou
j
ustki
l
lsme,hel
pmebhabhabefor
eIdest
roy
mymarri
age,hel
pmeMarhadebe.
Me: youdon'tneedmyhel
pAy
anda,
youneeda
pr
ofessional
help.
Ayanda:youmeanapsy
chol
ogi
st.(Her
aised
hi
sey ebr
ow)
Me:
yes
Ayanda:hay
ibhabhawakewayi
vaphi
indoda
yomXhosaehambaezozi
nto.
Me:ifIwer
eyoubengi
zoyekaubastereot
ype
casI
'
m aboutt
odivor
ceyou,Ican'
tl
iveloli
fe
Ayanda:hayibhabha,
youcan'
tdot
hat
,howdo
youeventhi
nkaboutdivor
ce
Me:
doy
ouwanthel
pAy
anda?
Ay
anda: Idobhabha,
bef
orendi
dest
roy
-erour
marr
iage.
Me:
thenseeapsy
chol
ogi
st.
Ay
anda:
ungahambanam ke
Me:
nobhabha,
Ay
anda:
pleasebhabhaIcan'
tdot
hisal
one.
Me:ok,Iwi
ll
gowi t
hyou,Iwi
l
lfoneDrLat
egan
andaskhi
mt or
eferust
othebestpsy
chol
ogist
.
Ay
anda:
thanky
ouMar
hadebe
Me:noprobl
em ,
let
'sf
ini
shcooki
ngke
Vuy
olwam
Ay
anda:
Vuy
olwam ?
?
Me:
ewe,
Igi
ggl
ed
Ay
anda:
comeher
e,(
heki
ssedme)
.Il
ovey
ou
Me:
met
oo
Ay
anda:
yout
oowhat
??
Me:
Ilov
emet
oo
Ay
anda:
heywenabhabha,
andi
yont
angakho.
Igi
ggl
ed

Me:
lov
eyout
ooMt
ungwa,
yousuchababy
Ay
anda:
whoi
sthebaby
Me:
itsy
ou(hecamet
ome)

Irantothel
oungeandheranafterme,
Idi
dn'
t
evenreacht
helounge,hecaughtmeand
carr
iedmetothecouch,helai
dmeonmyback
andgotontopofme.

Ayanda:yakut
handwalentwanay
akwa
KhumalokodwaMar hadebe
Me:onlyi
flent
wanay akwaKhumalo,
hecan
ti
ght
ensomeofhi sscrewsupther
e(Ipoi
nted
hi
shead),
hewillbefi
ne.
Ay
anda:
heywenabhabha,
andi
yont
angakho.
Igi
ggl
ed

Me:
lov
eyout
oobhabha,

Wef i
nishedcooking,
Ialwaysmasterlasagna
caseverythi
ngist
hereyoujustadd,addand
done.Weat e,washedthedishesandsayolal
a.

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[08/18,23:
28]Mca: Eyhi
ininakodwababi es
zam nindenzaweak" ngal
av oi
cekaAy anda"
Mbal it
hansbhabhawam, ungikhali
sil
ekehay i
kancane.NgiyabongamyAngel .Loveyout o
bits

I
NSERT104
Amont
hlat
er,
,
,

IwillbelyingifIwoul dsayt hingswerefine

betweenmeandAy anda, wewoul dconst antl
y
pickfights,Istart
edt odriftapar t
,hetri
edhi s
l
ev elbesttoputt hespar kbackbutIj ustkept
ondr i
fti
ngapar t
.Itcamet oapoi ntwhere
somet imeshewoul dbef orcedt ogoandsl eep
i
nt hespar ebedr oom, atfirstIwoul dal
lowhi m
tosleepi nthecoucht hatwasi nourbedr oom
butast imegoesbybendi ngamf unikwakul o
couch, Ineededhi m outoft hebedroom.

Onenit
e,Iwasal
readyi
nbedandhecameand
cuddl
edmef r
om back.

Ay
anda:
bhabha
Me:
yini
Ay
anda:
hay
iMar
hadebe,
sabel
akakuhl
e
Me:
uthi
niAy
andaf
unul
ala
Ay
anda:
lambi
l
emf
azi
wam
Me:
wej
ustat
eangi
thi
,funani
kemanj
e.
Ayanda:
Idon'
tmeanf
oodbhabha,
Mtungwa'
s
food.
Me:areyoucrazyAy
anda,
wej
ustmadelov
e
t
hismorni
ng,whoam It
oyou,
yoursex
machi
ne?
Ayanda:nobhabha,
younot,
Ijustcan'
tget
enoughofyou.
Me:
leav
emeal
oneke,
Iwannasl
eep.
Ay
anda:
pleasemf
azi
wam,
kanci
nci
nje
Me:
wongi
yekaAy
anda.
Ayanda:kanci
ncibhabhawam,
ngi
vul
eleke,
anddon'
tdoany t
hing.
Me:
mfxm,
youar
ecr
azy
Ay
anda:
pleasebhabha
Me: I
'
m notdoi
ngthatAy
anda,goandhang
your
selfi
fuy
afuna,
Idon'
tcar
e
Ay
anda:
mustIgoandgeti
tsomewher
e?
Me:
bemyguestt
hen.
Ay anda: whatdoy
oumean?,youdon'
tcare
eveni fIgeti
tsomewher
e?Ar
ey oucheat
ing
Inganathi?
Me:
mfxm
Ay
anda:
don'
tsaymf
xm I
nganat
hi
Me: Isatup,youknowwhatAy anda,I
'm si
ck
andtir
edofy ou,I'
m goi
ngtosl
eepinthespare
bedroom ,Istoodup,whenIwasabouttoexit
thebedroom hecalledme.

Ay
anda:
bhabha,
I'
m sor
rykeVuy
olwam,
Idi
dn'
t
meant
oupsety
ou.
Me:youhav
eal
readydonet
hat
,Iwantt
osl
eep
mna.
Ayanda: i
tsokke,Iwil
lgoandsleepi
nthe
sparebedroom,sal
ala,youknowhowdoIf eel
aboutthosesparebedr
ooms.
Me:
ok,
goodni
teke.(Iwentt
obed)
Ay
anda:
canIgetagoodni
teki
ss
Me:
AyandaKhumal
o!!
Ayanda:ok,ok,youdon'
thav
et oscream ,
you
ar
ejustdamagingyourvoi
ceihl
eli
ingekho.
Me:
mfxmm,
out
.
Ayanda:pl
easeanswermyf onei
fiy
ari
ng,
Iwi
l
l
l
eaveither
eit
ssti
llchar
ging.

Heleft,
trustmeCapeTowni scol
dngabo
September,yesIchasedAy
andaawaybutI
neededhi mt owar m met hatnight,butIwas
notgoi ngtobeghi mt ocomeback, It
riedt o
sleepbuthay ichababaamakhazaebengi dla.I
wentoutoft hebedroom, Igotintot hespar e
bedroom andknocked, Icouldseet hel i
ghtwas
stil
loncast hedoorwasnotcl osed.Iknocked
against i
llt
herewasnoanswer, Iletmy selfin,
alltofindAyandasi tt
ingi nthechai r,hedi dn't
event rytogeti nbed,Ichasedhi m ar ound9
andi twasaf ter1am andt rustmewhenIsayi t
wasr eall
ycol dthatnite.Howcoul dIbeso
heartlesskodwa.Iwentst raighttohi m and
wentonmyknees, Igoti nbetweenhi slegscas
theywer ewi deopen.

Me:
bhabha
Ay
anda:
Inga
Me:
I'
m sor
rybhabhawam
Ay
anda:
Ingawhati
swr
ongngat
hikant
i?Thi
s
i
snotusI
nga,
whati
sgoi
ngon?
Me: Idon'
tknowYandabutwhatev
eri
tis,
its
notgoodandheal
thy.
Ayanda:thi
sisnotusbhabha,
can'
twebr
ing
ourspar
kagain.
Me:
wemustt
rybhabha.
Ayanda: letusnott r
y,l
et'
sdoi tbhabha, Imiss
us.It
sal mostamont hsenzekal entoandIcan' t
takeitany more, Imissubhabhawam, Imiss
myAngel , Imissmysweet cheeks, Imi ss
Vuyolwam, Imi ssuIngawam, Imi ssuSi manye
wam , Imi ssumf aziwam.Wher edi dy ougo
bhabha, youar esocol dtome, youdon' twant
menextt oy ou, I
tlooksli
kei amusey oual ways
, i
thurtsbhabha, I
'
m usedt oy ourlov e, toyour
care,toyoursmi l
e, j
ustdon'ttakei tawayf rom
me.

Me:
Ipr
omi
seIwon'
ttakei
tawayf
rom y
ou
Ay
anda:
pleaseMar
hadebe.
Me: Ipr
omi
sel
et'
sgot
obedkemy
eni
wami
,i
ts
col
d.
Ayanda:It
houghtyouwon'
tsaythat(hebi
thi
s
l
owerli
pandcarri
edmet obed)
.

Wegoti
nbedandcuddl
ed

Me:
buzol
alani
ni
Ay
anda:Iwasnotgoingtosl
eep,Inev
ersl
eep
mawundi
chaserawayfr
om ourbedr
oom.
Me:
hay
ibobhabhawhy
?
Ayanda:howwouldIsl
eepinanotherbedr
oom
umfaziwamiekweny
e,rat
herIsi
t.
Me:
andy
oudi
dn'
ttel
lme?
Ay
anda:
youdi
dn'
task
Me:
I'
m sor
ryMt
ungwa.
Me:i
tsokbhabha,
asl
ongasy
ouwon'
tl
eav
e
me
Me:
Ipr
omi
se.

Wesleptandwokeupt hefoll
owi ngday ,
luckil
y
i
twasSaturday,Iwokeupar ound8am,t ooka
showerwhil
eIwasst i
l
llot
ioningmy self,
Ayandawokeupandwentt otakeashowert oo
andhecameback, hewouldst ealsomeki sses
whil
eIwasgetti
ngdressed,thatreall
yirri
tated
me.

Me:
noYanda

Hecont
inued

Me:
Yandapl
ease!
!
Hepickedmeandl
aidmeont
hebed,
thatr
eal
l
y
pi
ssedmeoff.

Me:
Ayandangi
theongi
yekapl
ease!
!.
Ayanda:Iwasonl
ypl
ayi
ngwi
thmywi
fe,
yini
ewrongo?
Me:
leav
emeal
oneke!
.
Ay
anda:
whati
syourpr
obl
em kant
iInganat
hi?
Me:
justl
eav
emeal
one,
cany
oudot
hat
?

Hegotof
fmeandt
ookhi
sfoneandhi
scar
key
s.

Me:
wher
ear
eyougoi
ngekuseni
kangaka.
Ayanda:l
eavemealonenobandi
yephi
,ut
he
ndi
kuyekeandi
thi
,souhl
utshway
ini
.
Heslammedt hedoor.SinceIwasnotgoi ng
anywhere,Idecidedtochangemyl inenandput
e-
clean.Imadet hebed.Idecidedtopackmy
cl
oset,i
treall
yneededsomeat tent
ion,whil
eI
wasbusywi thitAyandawal kedin.

Ay
anda:
taket
his
Me:
whati
sthi
s?
Ayanda: unawoamehl
oangi
thiandy
ouare
mor eeducatedt
hanme,andIknowyoucan
read.
Me:
Idon'
tneedt
his
Ayanda:
itmi
ghthel
pbot
hofus,
I'
mti
redof
thi
s
Me:
I'
m nott
aki
ngt
hisAy
anda!
.
Ayanda:don'
tmakemendi
kut
hat
hise
ngenkane.
Me:
hay
iAy
anda
Ay
anda:
nowI
nganat
hi!
!!
.
Me: Idon'tknowwhyy ouaredoi
ngthisAyanda,
Idon'tknowwhatar eyoutr
yingt
oprove,(I
star
tedcrying,hewasnotgoingt
oforcemet o
dosomet hingIdidn'
twannado)
Ay
anda:
youar
edoi
ngi
tbhabha
Me:
FINE!
!(Ij
ustdi
ditandwentt
otheki
tchen)

Ir
eal
l
ydi
dn'
tseet
her
easonofdoi
ngi
t.Mf
xm

Af
tersomet
imeAy
andacamer
ushi
ng.

Ay
anda:
lookbhabha
Me:
what?
?
Mygodness,
myey
esal
mostpoppedout

Me:
no!
!Thi
sisnott
rue!
!
Ay
anda:
iti
sbhabha

Ishookmyheadi
ndi
sbel
i
ef

Me:noYandathi
sisnott
rue,
itcan'
tbe.(
I
coul
dfeel
tear
sstar
ti
ngtobui
ldup)
Ay
anda:
yesi
tist
ruebhabha

Me: I
'm scar
edYanda,real
l
yscar
ed(Ist
art
ed
cr
ying)I
'm notst
rongf
orthi
sbhabha
Me:
youar
eMar
hadebe,
wear
eint
hist
oget
her
Me:
Iknowbhabha,
butI
'
m scar
ed
Ay
anda:
Igoty
ourbackMar
hadebe
Me:
andIgoty
our
sMrKhumal
o
Us:
til
ldeat
hdousapar
t.

Het
henspunmear
ound,
nonst
op.

Me:
youmaki
ngmedi
zzybhabha

Hedi
dn'
tst
op

Me:
bhabha!
!
Ay
anda: yes!!
!!
!!y
es!
!!
!!
yes!
!!
!!Enkosi
Marhadebe.

Ij
ustsmi
l
ed.

Il
ookedatt
heHPT(homePr
egnancyTest)
agai
n,y
esi
thadt
wol
i
nes.Iwaspr
egnant
.

Ayanda:let
'sgoandchange,Ihav
ealready
fonedyourGynaeandtol
dhim wearecoming.I
tol
dhim Ican'
twai
tu-Mondayukude.
Me:
ok.
Ayanda:thosemoodswings,Iknew
ndi
kuchanil
eMarhadebe,hespunmeagai
n

Ihav
eacr
azyhusbandkodwa.♡♥

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
18,
23:
28]Mca:
INSERT105

Me:
letmemakebr
eakf
astt
hen
Ayanda:nobhabhalet'
sgoandhavebreakf
ast
atwimpy
, y
oucan'toverwor
kyoursel
f,y
ouare
pr
egnant
.
Me:Ayandapleasemyeniwam ,
wear
enot
ev
ensurethatI'
m pr
egnant
.
Ay
anda:
I'
m sur
ebhabha
Me: i
sitnotthemotherekumel eazina??(I
wasreall
ynotsure,onethingaboutmeIdon' t
getmyperiodsregul
arl
y,Iwoul dski
pamont h
ortwosomet i
mesandi tneverbotheredme
befor
e,soitreal
lymadei tdif
fi
cultuzazi
ifI
waspregnantornotnozibalel
e)

Ay
anda:
Iknowkemna.

Imadebr eakf
astandwenttosett
het
abl
eand
madef r
uitsal
adformysel
fandwentt
ositno
Ayanda.

Ay
anda:
ist
hatal
lyouar
egoi
ngt
oeat
?
Me:
yes
Ay
anda:
Inganat
hiKhumal
o!!
Me:
yar
asahl
ebhabha
Ayanda: whatmustIdo,
sitmyasswhi
l
eyou
ar
est ar
vingmychil
d.
Me:Godbhabha,whydoyoual
way
smakea
mount
ainoutofamolehi
l
l?
Ay
anda:
ndi
kukhabekeI
nganat
hi,
yidl
ake.
Me:
Iam bhabha
Ay
anda:
properf
oodI
nga.
Me:
Idon'
teatbr
eakf
astAy
anda,
youknowt
hat
Ay
anda:
asf
rom t
odayy
ouwi
l
lInga
Me:
Ayandapl
ease.
Ayanda:shukut
hindi
zobanabant
wana
abazaci
l
emoss
Me:
whatdoy
oumean?
.
Ayanda: mamaboakadl
imoss,
bayawusindwa
zi
nhloko.Sewunawoamamorni
ngsickness.
Me:
no!
!
Ay
anda:
crav
ings.
Me: no,hhawustopaski
ngmehundr
ed
questi
ons,yousoundgayish.
Ay
anda:
heywenaI
nganat
hiKhumal
o!!

Igi
ggl
ed.

Weat eandhedi ddishesandwewentto

change, wegotinthedoctor
'sr
ecepti
on,
Itook
outmymedi cal
aidcardandgavethe
recept
ionist
.

Ay
anda:heywenabhabha,di
dn'
tIsayyou
mustt
ell
ubabaakukhi
phekwimedical
aid
y
akhe,
youar
emyr
esponsi
bil
i
tynow.
Me: whati
swr onginusi
ngthemedicalai
d?i
ts
conveni
entthancashbhabhaandhonestl
ymy
fat
herdoesn'tmi
nd.
Ay
anda:
ngubani
kant
iindoday
akhoI
nganat
hi?
Me:
notnowbhabhapl
ease
Ay
anda:Iwil
ll
eti
tgof
ornowbutr
estassur
ed
wenotdoneI
nga

Ij
ustf
rowned

Ay
anda:
ndi
kukhabekeI
nga

Idi
dat
ongueout

Ay
anda:
heywenabhabhaandi
yont
angakho.
Me:
lov
eyouKhumal
owam

Wewentt osi
tinacouch,
Iputmyheadonhi
s
chest
.Itwasourt
urnwegoti
n.

Doct
or:
gooddayKhumal
os
Ay
anda:
mor
ningdoct
or

Heshookbot
hourhands.

Doct
or:
pleaset
akeaseat,
howar
eyoudoi
ng?
Ay
anda:
goodt
hanxandy
oudoct
or?
Doctor:
fine,
Ibel
i
evey
ouhav
egoodnews,
let
's
see.

Iwasgi
venasmal
lbot
tl
etogoandpeekuy
o,I
di
dthatandcameback.Hedippedi
na
Pr
egnancytest,
wewaited.

Doct
or:
congr
atul
ati
on,
youar
ereal
l
ypr
egnant
.

MrSmi l
eybencumeuml omowawusenki
ngeni
yodabuka.Hewhisper
edinmyear
.

Ay
anda:
Enkosi
Mar
hadebe,
thandau-Khumal
o.
Me:(Ijustsmi
led,
bendi
mthandaumyeni
wami
ni
nani
)thandanaweu-Marhadebe.
Doctor:comelet'
scheckthehear
tbeatoft
he
baby.Iwenttothebedandlai
donmyback, he
l
ift
edmyt op,
appli
edthegelandmovedthe
tr
asnducer.

Doct
or:
congr
atul
ati
onsagai
n,y
ouar
e4weeks
pr
egnantMr
sKhumal
o.

Ij
ustsmi l
ed,asmuchaswedi dn'tplanour
babybutIwasr eadyformyangel ,y
esshe/he
wasnotgoi ngtorepl
acemyangel butIwas
goi
ngt olovemyangel.Thedoctormadet wo
pri
ntouts,hewipedmyst omach, Ayanda
hel
pedmegotof fthebed,wewentt ositdown.

Doctor:Iwouldlov
et oseey ouaft
er3weeks,
andIwil
l al
soprescribeyoumulti
vit
amins,you
musttakethem dailyandpleasedon'
tstop
eati
ngchickenli
vers,spi
nachandbeetrootnot
ever
ydaybutnowandagai n.

Ay
anda:
shewi
l
ldoct
or.
Doct
or:
congr
atul
ati
onsagai
n.
Ay
anda:
thanxdoct
or.
Doct
or:don'
tfor
gett
omakeanappoi
ntment
onyourwayout.
Ay
anda:
wewi
l
ldoct
or,
thanksagai
n.

West
oodupandl
eft
.

Ayanda:
let'
sgoandhav
elunch,
I'
m sur
emy
babi
esarehungr
y
Me:
I'
m pay
ing
Ay
anda:
daki
we
Me:
mnawhendoIgett
ousemymoneykant
i?
Ay
anda:
youcanbuysweet
s.
Me:
ahhhbhabha,
Ihat
eyou
Ayanda:Il
oveyoumor ebhabhaandagai
n
thankyouMarhadebe.
Me:youhav
et hankme200ti
mesalreadyand
youmaki
ngdizzyngabat
hankyoubakho.
Ay
anda:
heywenabhabha,
Ican'
thel
pit
.

WewenttoTyger
val
l
ey,wegotoff,
justaswe
wer
eabouttowal
ktotheent
rance.

Voi
ce:wel
l,wel
l,well,
TaKill
er,
Idi
dn'
tknow
bet
hangomabhebezaabanj
engoku.

Wel ookedinthedir
ecti
onwherethev oi
ce
camef rom.Itwasaman, coff
eecolour,not
tallorshort,benescrat
chesi
bijustabovehi
s
l
ef teye,andtwosilvert
eet
h.Helookedatme
from bot t
om toheadwandif
unxaGodknowsI
hat ethat.

Ay
anda:
uphumeni
niwena.
Voi
ce:rememberawuy
osisi
makadaTaKill
er,
I
mustsayyouhav
eataste,i
fungandi
bol
ekanje
foranhouri
nobandi
ngaguqukaandy
ouwi
l
l
neverhearf
rom meagai
n.
Ayanda:
(Ay andawambambangewashi ng)
youcomenearmywi f
e,nj
ay oudead,Iwi
ll
makesureIdon'tki
l
lezizi
njazakhozodwabut
you.
Man: r
elax,
rel
axTaKil
lerr
ememberwearei
n
publ
i
candpeopl ear
elooki
ng.(Hel
etgo)
Ay
anda:youbett
erdi
sappearkwedi
niot
her
wi
sezal
alaubal
i
we.
Man:
itwasni
cet
oseey
ouagai
nTaKi
l
ler
.

Wewal kedtothemall
,Ayandawasshaki ng
ngumsindo,Ideci
dedt okeepquit
etil
labe
calm.Wewentt oPri
mi Piat
tiandhadlunch,we
werestil
lqui
te.Wefi
nishedandheset t
ledthe
bil
l
.
Ay
anda:
any
thi
ngy
ouwi
l
lneedbhabha
Me:
nobhabha
Ay
anda:
arey
ousur
e?
Me:
yes
Ay
anda: l
et'
sgoandbuyyourmult
ivi
tami
nske
mfaziwam.(Hewasgett
ingcal
m).Wewentto
Di
s-chem andl
eft
.

Wewenthomeandj
ustchi
l
ledont
hecouch,
he
wasmassagi
ngmyf
eet.

Ayanda: soont
hesesmal
lfeetwi
l
lbeswol
l
en
(hekissedthem)
Me:yhanhee,Idon'
tcar
eaboutswol
l
enf
eet
,
al
lIwanti
sformyangeltobeok.
Ayanda:youraregl
owingmywi feandy
ou
seem happyaboutt
hispregnancy.
Me:
Iam bhabha.

Hesmi
l
ed.

Me:
bhabha?
Ay
anda:
mfazi
wam
Me:
whowast
hatmanwemeti
nTy
ger
val
l
ey?
Ay
anda:
noonebhabha
Me:
Yanda?
Ay
anda:
Isai
dit
snooneI
nga!
!!
Me: y
oudon'thav
etoshoutbhabha,
ifyou
say
ingit
snoone, whyar
eyouangrythenand
mna,am Isaf
e?
Ayanda: IsaidnooneI nganathi
!!Phumaapho!!
!
Ayikufunilent
o,Iwil
ltakecareofthi
sand
protectyou.Yerrr(
hebangedt hecoffeetabl
e)
undenzai ndodaenjani!
!Areyoudoubt i
ngmeas
y
ourman?
Me:
no,
Idon'
tbhabha
Ay
anda:
stopaski
ngmest
upi
dquest
ionst
hen!
!!

YhooIj
ustkeptqui
te.:
-(

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
18,
23:
28]Mca:
INSERT106

IknewAy andabetter,tocontinueaskinghi m
questionswasgoi ngtopi sshim mor e,soI
decidedt okeepquite.Onet hi
ngIknow, even
thoughAy andawasmyhusbandbut
bengimesaba, notbecausebemdal abuti ndlel
a
anomsi ndouseduzengay o.West ayedther ein
sil
ent,aftersometi
me, Iswitchedont heTVand
heswi tcheditoff
,sti
llIkeptquite.
Ay
anda:
bhabha
Me:
Yanda
Ayanda:
I'
m sor
rymf
azi
wam f
orshout
ingat
you.
Me:
it'
sok
Ayanda: i
tsnotok,i
tssi
mplethatI
'
m notready
total
kaboutintoyal
arubbi
sh,
butdon'
tever
doubtthatIwil
lpr
otecty
ou.
Me:
ok
Ay
anda:
Imeani
tmf
azi
wam ,
I'
m sor
ry
Me:
ok
Ay
anda:
cany
oust
opsay
ingok.
Me:
ok
Ay
anda:
Inganat
hiKhumal
o!!
!
Me:
I'
m sor
ry
Ay
anda:
ungi
kwat
ele
Me:
cha
Ayanda:Isowishungayekaukwenzalento
uyenzay
o,ever
yti
mesilwa,youjustpr
etendas
i
fy ouar
eokwher easIknowy ounot.
Me:
I'
m okgenui
ne,
canIsl
eepnow.
Ay
anda:
arey
ouav
oidi
ngme?
Me:
nobhabha,
I'
mjustt
ir
edt
hat
'
sal
l
Ayanda:
oksl
eepke,
Iwi
l
lcookdi
nnerf
orso
l
ong.
Me:
thanxYanda
Ay
anda:
arey
ousur
eyouar
eok?

Inodded,hewentt
ofet
chaf
leece,
wangembathi
sa

Heki
ssedmyf
oreheadandwentt
otheki
tchen.
Idoz
edof
fimmedi
atel
y.

Iwokeuparound7,
hewasdonecooki ng,I
wenttori
nsemymouthandcameback,
waphakaandweate,hedidthedishesandwe
wenttosl
eep,wewatchedgenerati
onsIwas
rest
ingmyheadoninhi
schest.

Ay
anda:
bhabha
Me:
Yanda:
Ay
anda:
thandamf
azi
wam
Me:
lov
eyout
oomy
eni
wam.

Het urnedme, ourmouthsl

ockedandwe
kissed, aver
ysoft,
slowl
yandpassi
onatelyki
ss,
hest artedtocar
essesmybody,hekissedmy
neck, hethentookoffmypjandusedhishands
toexpl oremybody,hewentbacktomymout h
thent omyear, hebl ewal i
ghtbreat honi t,
whichsentchi l
lsdownmyspi ne, hewentdown
onmyst omach, kissing, touching, bit
ingand
exploringev er
yi nchofmybodywi thhi smout h,
tongueandhi shands.Hi steethf oundmy
nipples, Icouldn'thel pitbutmoani npl easur e,
het ookof fmybot t
om pj andmyunder wearat
thesamet ime.Hesl owl yopenedmyl egsand
cuppedmybut tonsi nhi shands, het henl if
ted
myhi pst omeethi smout h,withagent l
e
deli
cat ef li
cksofhi stonguehest artedt o
tort
ur eme.Icoul dn'
thel pbutmoani npl easur e.
Ireall
ywant edYandai nsi deofme.Myl egs
becameweakerandweakermybodyst ar
tedt o
shiver, hecont inuedwi thwhathewasdoi ng
andIwasshi v
eringhar derandf i
nallyIcame.
Hei nser tedhisf inger ,
Imoaned, theni nser t
ed
thesecondone, GodIr eall
yneededhi m.He
thenposi ti
onedhi msel fandi nsertedngeny uka
neheadboar d.
Ayanda:(
hesmi l
ed,t
hatnaughtysmilesakhe)
butmfaziwam whenwilly
ougetusedt o
uMtungwa.(Hesaidthati
nav eryhuskyvoi
ce,
heopenedhiseyes,
theywesor ed)
Me: (
li
kehell
Iwill
,tr
ustmebengathi
yakhul
a
dai
lyuMtungwa)inwhateveryoudobhabha
pl
easedon'tt
hrust
,I'
m pr
egnant.
Ay
anda:
Iknowbhabha

Hewasi nandwel l hevisit

edallthecorner
sof
myt reasure,suddenl yhewentf asterand
faster,hi
sbr eathi
ngi ncreased,hest ar
ted
cursing,webot hr eachedt hecli
max
simultaneously,hecol l
apsedonme, weboth
tri
edt ocatchabr eathandaf tersomet i
mehe
gotupwat hathaat owel andcleanedus.
Atl
eastaft
erIwasshout
ed,
wehadagoodsex.
Wecuddled.

Me:
bhabha
Ay
anda:
mfazi
wam
Me: whatdoy
out
hinkaboutgoi
ngbackt
o
school
?

Hel
aughedatme,hethoughtIwasj
oki
ng,
he
t
henst
oppedandl
ookedatme.

Ay
anda:
arey
ouser
ious?
Me:
yes
Ay
anda:
hay
ibhabha,
sayy
ouar
ejoki
ng
Me:
unf
ort
unat
elyI
'
m not
.
Ayanda:
areyouashamedofmesi
nceIhav
e
gr
ade12only?
Me: nobhabha,Iam notandIwi
l
lnev
erbe
ashamedofy ou.
Ay
anda:
thenwhyuf
unandi
yeeskol
weni
?
Me:
toadv
ancedy
ourst
udi
esbhabha.
Ayanda:wakeway
ivaphi
indodaendal
anje
ngam i
yol
engi
saamadoloamadeedesikeni
.
Me:younotoldYanda,
youwil
lonl
ybet
urni
ng
27t
hisyearbuphi
ubudalakel
apho
Ayanda:hay
ibhabha,
Iwon'
thav
eti
met
ost
udy
sobanabant
wanasoon.
Me:umtwanawon'
tbeani
ssue,
sof
una
someonet
ohel
pout
Ayanda:I
nganathi
Khumal
o!!It
oldy
ouIwil
l
rai
semychil
dren,any
wayIwon'
tbeaccept
ed
kweziUni
ver
sit
ies.
Me: y
ouwil
lbhabha,
Isawy
ourgr
ade12
cer
ti
fi
cat
e,y
oudidwell
Ay
anda:
yaphaphaI
nganat
hibuf
unani
kwi
nto
zam.
Me: y
ourcert
if
icat
eofcour
se,
Ihav
ebeen
t
hinki
ngalotaboutthi
s.
Ay
anda:
Iam notgoi
ngt
oschool
Inganat
hi.
Me:
youar
ebhabha
Ay
anda:
sundi
phambani
saI
nganat
hi.
Me: I
'm notbhabha,yougotEnalaMathsuthi
youfai
ledit,unamanga, Isawt
hatyougotHG
i
nallyoursubjecti
ncl
udingMaths,well
asfor
EconomicI'mimpressed.
Ayanda: kwiEconomics,Iwantedt
oimpress
myt eacher,
ndandimncwaselaweyi
even
thoughshewasol derthanme.
Me:
siesbhabha,:
-)
:-
)I'
mjeal
oust
hough
Ayanda:youdon'thavetomfazi
wam
yayi
bubuntwananje.(Heki
ssedme)
Me: y
adika,onaser i
ousnot
e,y
ouar
egoi
ng
backtoschoolbhabha.
Ay
anda:
Inganat
hiKhumal
o!!
Me: serious,sincenexty earI '
m graduat i
ngand
Iwillbedoi ngmyBTech, Iwast hinkingof
doingi tfullt
ime, whichmeansIwon' tbe
wor kingnexty eart henIwi l
lhav etimef ormy
babyaswel l
,casi fIdoitpar ttimeIwi l
l haveto
doi tfor2y ears,sohowaboutwer egisterat
Unisasoy itwoanddoPubl i
cManagement
sinceunecommer cialsubjects,theny ouwi l
l
helpmeandIwi ll
hel pyou,wewi ll
st udy
together ,
andy ouwi l
lty
peassi gnment swedwa
since, Iwil
lbepr egnant(Ismi led)t heywi l
l
all
owmet or egist
eri fIletthem knowt hatI'
m
alsoast udentatCput .

Ay
anda:
bhabhaIdoubtndi
ngapasangoku.
Me:youwi l
lbhabhaandkamnandiwewon'tdo
i
ncontact
,itwil
lbenowandagain,
wewi l
lstar
t
wi
thourdiploma,thendegr
eet
henhonours
t
ogether, pl
easeMt ungwaanditwil
lhel
py ou
withyourbusinesses,don'
tyout
hinkoneday
youwillhaveyourowncompanyandImi ghtbe
yourPA
Ay
anda:myPA,Iwoul
dlovet
hat(hebi
tmyear
)orImi
ghtbey
ourchauff
eur
Me:
youar
emychauf
feural
readybr
other
.
Ay
anda:
heywenabhabhaandi
yont
angakho.

Igi
ggl
ed.

Me:
thi
nkabouti
tMt
ungwa

Hesmi
l
ed.

Ay
anda:
your
eal
l
ylov
eindoday
akho.
Me:
Idomy
eni
wam.
Ay
anda:
nev
erl
eav
emeMar
hadebe.
Me:
meandy
ouf
orev
eral
oku.
Ay
anda:
Til
ldeat
hdousapar
tmf
azi
wam.

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
18,
23:
29]Mca:
INSERT107

ItwasFr i
day ,monthendofSept ember, Ayanda
droppedmeatwor kasusual ,thedaywas
normal .Iwentf ormyl unchandt heguysIwas
wor ki
ngwi thdecidedt hatwegot oKhayeli
tsha
afterwor ksi y
aegr oov apark.Itwasawayof
say i
nggoodby etootheri nt
ernsbebegqibelisa
emsebenzi ni,t
heywer ef our
.Wewer enotthat
closenabobutwewer ewor kingtogether.Soit
was4i nterns, myselfandAni t
awhowasal so
theref orinservi
cet r
aining,Mxoleli
,Ncedoand
Aphel eletheywer eper manentbona, sowe
wer
e9i
ntot
al.
SakhokhaR100umunt uey edwa, i
twasfor
meatanddr i
nks.SosinceIdi dn' thaveacarI
wasgoi ngtodr i
vewithMxol eli andhehada
Corsabakki ei
biaccommodat e-ronlyone
passenger.ReasonwhyIdeci dedt ogowith
hi
m, hewasabi tol
derthatAy andamay be
earl
y30's, hewasani ceguy ,andadecentguy ,
ebengikhonzil
eshameheusedt ocallme
Mancanebuthepassedaway , twoy ear
slat
er,
mayhissoul r
estinpeace.

It
riedt
of oneAyandabuthisfonewasof f,
Ilef
t
amessagef orhi
mt hathemustnotpi ckmeup
af
terwork,IwasgoingtoKhayelit
shaandhe
mustnotwor r
yMxoleliwasgoingtodr opme
l
atersi
ncehewasst ayingi
nPar kl
ands.

Wel
eftat3:
30pm,
besi
phumau3:
45on
Fridays.Wef i
rstwentt opicknpayl iquorand
theyboughtt heirstuffandwedr ov
et oAce, we
orderedmeat ,sahlalasadla,theyweredr i
nking
sincokolasonke, wewer etalkingaboutrandom
things.Wewer esittingatthebackofMxol el
i'
s
bakkiesilengi
sei milenzeabany ebebezimele.

Itwasar ound6pm butbekusenel anga,soI

wasnotbot heredwiththef
actt hatIwasst il
li
n
Khayeli
tsha, Ir
eportedkuAy andabangi yakuphi
moss,cal lmenaï vebutIwas19, thefactthatI
wasmar ri
eddidn'tchangethefactt hatIwas19.
Ineededsomet i
meout .

Aftersomet i
meNcedowav ul
aumculoinhi
s
car,Ncedowast hatkindofaguyunemot oetoo
sportyetshongebootegcwel eaninst
all
ed
system,hewashy peract
ive,Imeanveryhyper
activeandforward.Westoodupanddanced
besekugcwel emaaraabant ubebehoy ethei
r
ownbusi nesses.I'
m av eryshyper sonbut
wheni tcomest oumj aivozi yaphel
a, Ilove
ujaivaandangi zenzi
,soNcedocameanddance
withme, hewasbehi ndme.Ishoul dthink,t
he
guy sbesihambanabot heywer esurpri
sedto
seet hatIcandancesi ncebebengazi asaqui te
person.Wekeptondanci ngnoNcedobutal lof
asuddenar edol
enceofAy anda'scolognewas
al
l over,Istoppeddanci ngbutNcedohel dmy
waistafunasi qhubesi j
aive.Ir emovedhi s
handsandl ookedback.

Ial
mostfai
ntedwhenIsawAy andaay amenge
motokaMxoleli
azof
oldel
eezakheizandlaand
watchi
ngus.

Me:hibhabha(someofmycolleaguesknew
Ay
andasomedi dn'
t.Iwentt
ohi
m, hekissed
meeml
ony
eni
)

Me:
guy
sthi
sismyhusbandAy
andaKhumal
o.
Ncedo:ohht
hisist
heguywandiphosani
sa
nawe.(Hewasjoki
ngbuthi
sjokewasgoingt
o
costme).

Theyallgr
eetedhi m,Ayanda,
wayengancumanga, engakwat
anga,
engenamsindo,Ijustcoul
dn'
treaduba
bekwenzakalaningaye.

Ayanda:ni
cetomeety ouallguys,
but
ndi
yambolekau-bhabha,kukhonaaphomel
e
si
yekhona.
Mxolel
i:nopr
obl
em boss,
Iwasgoi
ngt
odr
op
herl
ater
.
Ay
anda:
sur
e.
Me: (Il
ookedatMxol
eli
)canIhav
emybag
pl
ease

Hewentt othef rontseatandtookmybag

wandinika,Ay andat ookmybagandcar ri
edit,
aswewer ewal kingt ohiscar,hedidn'tuttera
word, butuv alolonabelisho.Wegott ot hecar
andheopenedt hedoorf orme, Igoti
nwaj i
kel
a
tohissideandgoti n.Hewenttomyt highand
squeezedi tkabuhl ungungesandla.

Me:
Ayanday
ouar
ehur
ti
ngme

Hedi
dn'
tl
etgo

Me:
Ayanday
ouar
ehur
ti
ngme.(I
treal
l
yhur
t)
Ayanda:Ihavebeenbesofuckenworri
ed,
ndi
kufunathewholeCapeTown,whil
ewena
youarefl
ir
ti
ngnamany eamadoda.
Me:
Iwasn'
tAy
anda
Ayanda: whatdoyoucall
thatshi
tbuy
enza
phayanomt anam,
undiqhelai
kakamoss
awundiboni!
!
Me:
Ilef
tyouamessagekwi
voi
cemai
lnj
e
Ayanda:whatmessage!y
ouknowexactlyI
foneyam y
il
eif
reezi
l
eyo,yey
iphi
leushi
yekuyo!
Me:
Ifor
gotYandahonest
ly
Ayanda:eyasendl
i
niy
onai
biseKhay
eli
tsha
nayoandi
thi?
Me:
no
Ayanda:ndiy
aphaphathekamnandi
ya
emsebenzi
niwakhokuthwauseKhayel
i
tsha,
yayazi
ndiv
endisi
sbhanxanjani
!!
Me:
youar
ereal
l
yhur
ti
ngmeAy
anda.(Iwas
wear
ingakneel
engt
hski
rt
.
Ayanda:(heletgoandbrushedmythi
gh)
ndi
zakukuguba(whack)I
nganathi
Khumal
o
undi
qhelaamasimbamoss!

Hedroveof
f,hav
eyoueverbeent
oldthat
uzogut
ywa?andknowi
ngumsindokaAy anda,
I
knewhewasgoingtomakeamashoutofme, I
l
ift
edmyskir
tandIhadgreenmarksonmy
thi
gh.

Ist
art
edcr
ying.

Ayanda:usul
eezonyembeziI
nganat
hibef
oreI
st
opt hi
scarandndi
zakunyat
hel
a!

Icri
edsil
ent
ly,
Ireal
lymissedu-Muso,even
thoughhecheatedbutzangeangenzet
heway
bengingakhona.Iwantedtot
akemyfoneand
foneMawandeorMsi r
a,phel
aIwassonot
goingtobeal onei
nthesamehousenoAyanda
ekwesastatebekuso.

WegothomeandIhesi
tat
edt
ogetof
f

Ayanda:ungandenzindi
kwehl
i
sengokwam
I
nganathiKhumalo!!
!

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
18,
23:
29]Mca:
INSERT108

Igotof
fandwewal kedint
othehouse,
Ayanda
putmybagont hecouchandcamet ome,I
took3stepsback.
Ay
anda:
Inganat
hiKhumal
o
Me:
mmhmmm
Ayanda:f
okofIngasut
himhmmm
andi
yont
angakho!
Ay
anda:
whatdoy
ouwantf
rom me?
Me:
not
hing
Ay
anda:
uyaj
olangoku?
Me:
noAy
anda
Ayanda:
whywasInotinf
ormedthaty
ouwer
e
goi
ngtoKhay
eli
tshaI
nganathi
?
Me: Idi
dn'
tknownami ,ngizwengelunch
honestl
yIfor
gotthatyourfoneisnotworking
nentoyobangif
owneleI-landli
nesli
ppedmy
mindI'
m sorr
y.
Ayanda:
inKhay
eli
tshaofal
lthepl
ace!He
roar
ed
Me:
theychoseAceYandabengi
zot
hini
.
Ay
anda:
aren'
tyoumar
ri
edI
nganat
hi?
Me:
Iam bhabha
Ayanda:whyu-behav
eli
kea12y
earol
dke
ngoku?
Me:
I'
m 19,
funangi
thi
ni?

Ayanda:thethikakaSimanye!
!!(Ayanda
doesn'
toftenuseSi manyeonl
ymakushubul e,
hecamecl osertomeandIwasal r
eadyagainst
thewall
)thethikakaSimanyeyandiv
a!!ndi
hleke
whil
eumf aziwam ebanjwangamany e
amadodaesi nqeniemjai
vweni
,ndihl
eke
Simanye?
Me:
andazi
Ay
anda:
awazi
,awazi
ungumf
azi
onj
ani
!
!
Me: ateenwife,di
dn'tyouknowwenawhen
youmar r
yme, didIforceyoutomarryme?
(Besengici
keki
lebecauseallAyandawasdoi
ng
wasshout
ingandshout
ingi
nst
eadoft
alki
ngt
o
me.
Ay anda: heywenaI nganat
hi ,
fokofyeva!
!(I
thoughtt hathepunchedme, becauseIjust
closedmyey esbuthepunchedt hewall
i
nst ead).Toy ouitsal
lajokeInganathi
,ezazi
nja
areaf t
erme, iftheyareaft
ermewhi chmeans
younotsaf e,uci
ngawhyndi ngafuni
uhambe
wedwa! !,
,,
,youarepregnantforGodsake
Inganathi.
Ayanda: t
heyarey
ourpeopl
enotmineangi
thi
?
Andizungayi
aphondi
funauy
akhonamna.
Ay
anda:
heywen,
,
,,
,
,,
,nci
nci
nci

Hewenttot
hekitchencount
erandgr
abbedhi
s
carkey
sandlef
t.

Angaseay
ozi
gwi
l
izi
sa(
drownhi
msel
f)noba
kusedamini
,myearswer eburni
ngf r
om al
l
Ayanda'sshout
ing.Iwenttolockthedoor
,
tookmybagandwentupst ai
rs.Itookashower
andgoti
nbed.

Iwasgoi
ngtowatchGenerati
ons
ngi
sembhedeni
.Justaf
tert
hatmyfoner
angi
t
wasMawande.

Me:
babomdal
a?
Voi
ce:
bhabha
Me:
Ayanda?
Ay
anda:
I'
m atMawande'
spl
ace
Me:
ohhh
Ayanda:Ineededt ocal
m downbhabha,
ot
herwisendizabonasendi
kubet
hil
eMarhadebe.
Me:
ok,
soar
eyougoi
ngt
osl
eepov
er?
Ayanda:no,Iwontbhabha,Iwi
llcomeback
ar
ound9, Ican'
tletmybabiessl
eepalone,
I
j
ustneedsometimeawayt ocalm down.
Me:minawhendoIgett
ohav
esomet
ime
away
.
Ay
anda:
Ingapl
easemf
azi
wam.
Me:
I'
mjoki
ng,
arey
ouokke?
Ay
anda:
I'
m notbhabha
Me:
yini
ndaba?
Ayanda:Mawandesl
appedmebhabhange
nkunzi
yempama,myfaceisbur
ning.
Me:
whyhesl
appedy
ou?
Ayanda:
athi
ndi
phambene,
het
houghtndi
ku
bethi
l
e
Me:kul
ayi
l
emhl
ampezat
shoubhadl
e(ser
ve
youwel
l
)
Ay
anda:
heywenabhabha
Igi
ggl
ed

Ayanda:
ngizomthol
awakhewayi
bonat
hi
i
ndodaenomzinomfazi
ibet
hwa
Me:
esanganay
oyashay
wal
i
key
ou.
Ay
anda:
heywenabhabhaandi
yont
angakho.

Igi
ggl
edagai
n.

Me: comehomehle,
wemi ssy
ou(tobe
honestIwasr
eal
l
ymi ssi
ngmyhusband)
Ayanda:notnowbhabha,
I'
m notsur
eifI
'
m
cal
m ngokwanel
eyo.
Me:
pleasemy
eni
wam
Ay
anda:
ok,
Iwon'
tbet
ool
ateIpr
omi
se
Ihear
dMawande'
svoi
cei
nthebackgr
ound

Mawande:
hel
a,sanuzot
handanel
eef
oni
niy
am
,yi
air
ti
meyam l
eniyi
gqi
bayo.

Ay
anda:
bambabhabha
Me:
ok
Mawande:
lastbor
n
Me:
babomdal
a
Mawande:
u-r
it
e
Me:
I'
mfi
nebabomdal
aandy
ou?
Mawande:
I'
m gr
eat
,nowthatndimf
ake
i
mpamalomtuot
hiy
indodakho.
Me: ouchbabomdal
athat
'
smyhusband,
ishe
notswoll
en?
Mawande: Idon'
tcar
e,Iwant
edtobreakhi
s
j
awsndamsi zel
a.Iwant
edtoknocksome
sensesi
ntohisthi
ckskul
l.
Me:
yichi
l
dabusel
eyophel
amncanekuwe
Mawande: chi
ldabusemyf oot
,ayi
bhadl
anga
i
ndodayakho.Heisgoi ngtoloseyoueli
bel
e
kukhwel
etangathiakaphil
anga.,
,,
,
,,
,
Areyousur
e
youareoklastbor
n?
Me:
Iam babomdal
a,Ipr
omi
se.
Mawande:Iwantedtocomeandsl eepoverbut
uthi
hewon'
tdon'tanyt
hing.I
fhedaresshout
you,f
oneme,si
yevana.
Me: Iwi
l
lbabomdal
aandt
hansagai
n
babomdala
Mawande:goty
ourbacklastborn.Whatabout
me?(Ayanda'
svoi
cekwibackground)
Mawande:whatabouty
ou?(Ndakuf
akaeny
e
i
mpamangoku)
Igi
ggl
ed

Me:
byekebabomdal
aandt
hansagai
n.
Mawande:
bambake

Ay
anda:
any
thi
ngy
ouwi
l
lneedf
rom t
heshops
Me:
yesbhabha
Ay
anda:
ini
Me: pl
easepassbypi
cknpayandbuyme
dr
iedfr
uit(
pears)
Ay
anda:
dri
edf
rui
t??
Me:
yesbhabha
Ay
anda:
usuqal
wengamacr
avi
ngs
Me:
Iguess,
Ido
Ay
anda:
sincewhen?
Me:
lastweekbhabha
Ay
anda:
mybestpar
t
Me:
whi
chone?
Ayanda:ofr
unni
ngar
oundf
orIcr
avi
ngsze
babi
eszam
Me:
youar
ecr
azy
Ay
anda:
soIhav
ebeent
old
Me:
youar
ereal
l
ycr
azy
Ayanda:sot
hist
imei
t'
snoteat
-sum -moor
andsoil
Me:
Iguessso
Ayanda: thankyouLord,phelal
astti
me
besengicabangakungathikanti
kugcwel
e
i
mi sundululu(ear
thworms)esiswini
,whor
eal
l
y
gettoeatt hesoil
.
Me:
Godzi
l
la'
sbabi
es
Ay
anda:
heywenabhabhandi
zakuf
aka
i
sihl
angu

Igi
ggl
ed

Ayanda:befor
eIforgetdi
dyoucheckt
hef
ir
st
sparebedr
oom recentl
y
Me:
cha
Ay
anda:
goandchecki
t
Me:
now?
Ay
anda:
yesbhabha
Me:
hhaabhabhat
omor
row
Ayanda:
pleasebhabhanow,
wil
ltal
kwhenIget
home.
Me:
ok,
thandaMt
ungwa,
usanganaunj
alo
Ayanda:
ndi
nyamezel
eMar hadel
e,Iwi
l
lget
hel
psoon,t
handanam bhabhawam.
Idr oppedt hecall andwentt othespar e
bedr oom andopenedt hedoor, ohhmywor d! !
!
Ay andat hough, t
hespar ebedr oom wast urned
i
nt oanur ser
y,itwaspai ntedlime, i
thada
roll
backcot ,ababydr esser,changi ngt able
,theywer eallassembl edalreadyandt her ewas
acouch.Thequeenbedwast akenoutand
ther eweret wosi nglebedsandt herewas
somet hi
ngl i
keacl oset,yabantwanai thad
smal l
hanger sandast or
agepar tformedi cine,
towel sitwassocut e.Icouldn'thelpi tbutcr y,I
wassoemot i
onal ninani.Ididn'tknowt hatmy
husbandbenzaezi zi
ntoimi niezi ndiphangel e.I
didn'twannagetoutoft henur sery.Ij usttook
af l
eeceandwentt osleepononeoft hebeds.

Imighthav
efal
l
enasl
eepcasndi
vusengu
Ayanda.
Ay
anda:
bhabha
Me:
mhmm
Ay
anda:
bhabha
Me:
Yanda(Ir
ubbedmyey
es)
Ay
anda:
vukamf
azi
wam
Me:
whatt
imei
sitnow?
Ay
anda:
its11:
30pm
Me:
thatl
ate?
Ay
anda:
let
'sgott
oourbedr
oom
Me:
I'
mlazyt
owal
kbhabha
Ay
anda:
hay
ibhabha
Me:
pickmeupt
hen
Ay
anda:
heywenabhabha
Me:
undi
qhel
i
sil
eYanda.
Hecar
ri
edmet
othebedr
oom.

Ay
anda:
yousuchababykodwabhabha
Me:
ndi
rit
e
Ay
anda:
comel
et'
seatkeIbr
oughtpi
zza.
Me:
thanksmy
eni
wam,
didy
oubr
ingdr
iedf
rui
t
Ay
anda:
yesIdi
d
Me:
thanks.

Weat
eandfini
shed.Wegoti
nbed,
hepul
l
ed
mecl
osert
ohim.

Ayanda:bhabhaandi t
handikul
wisananawe
Marhadebe, al
lI'
mt r
yingtodoistoprot
ecty
ou
buti
zawr ongoy onkelent
o.
Me:
Iknowbhabha
Ayanda:Ihav edonet hingsI'
m notproudofin
thepastandsomear est ar
ti
ngt ocropoutand
i
tssounf or
tunatelythatnawet heyaregoingto
aff
ectyou,casy ouar epartofme, Iknow
sometimesIcanbet ooov ercontr
olli
ngbutin
thi
sonenditrusterit
sf oryourownsaf et
y
bhabhawam
Me: Idounder
standYanda,butawunandl
ela
yot
hetha,y
oualwaysshoutandithur
ts.
Ayanda:I'
m sorr
yMarhadebe, Isti
l
lregr
etthe
dayIlai
dmyhandony ou,I
'
mt ry
ingmylevel
bestnottodoitagai
n,butnawebhabha
sometimesyoumakingitdif
ficult
.Idon'
twant
youtobescaredofme, I
'my ourhusbandbut
mawundiphendulanj
eandivakamnandi .
Me: casuy
ashoutabhabha,awuthet
hir
it
e.I
'
m
sor
ryYandaifIdi
srespect
edyou.
Ayanda:I
'
m sor
ryt
oobhabha,
Ireal
l
ydon'
t
wannacontr
oly
oubutt
hoseguysare
dangerousandt heywi llmakesurebandivi
sa
kabuhlungu, Idon'tmindifbevi
samna
kabuhlungubutnotwenabhabhat hat
'swhy
ndingafuniuhambewedwaezazi njaarecruel
ki
lli
ngisagamekubo, ifyougotoKhay el
i
tsha
withoutmyknowl edgehowam Igoi ngto
protectyoubhabha.
Me:
Iheary
oubhabhaandI
'
m sor
ry.
Ayanda:j
ustbearwi
thmethiswi
llbeov
ersoon.
It
hinkbandi
l
ibel
e,whoIam.ISNEEZEAND
THEMOTHERFUCKERSGETTHECOLD! !

Thi
swasscari
ngmeandjustbyt al
ki
ngabouti
t,
,,
,
,,
,,
Iwant
edtoknowmyhusbandmi nanott
he
Ayandawhousedtobei
ginsa(
thug).

Me:
bhabha
Ay
anda:
mfazi
wam
Me:
whendi
dyoudot
henur
ser
y?
Ayanda:from MondayIpai
nteditandtheki
ds
stuf
fweredeliv
eredonWednesday ,I
assembledthem Thur
sdayandtodayimini
yonke.
Me:
whydi
dn'
tyout
ell
me,
ngi
zosi
za
Ayanda:Iwanteditt
obeasurpri
se,
byt
heway
bungazusi
zabuzabukel
aangi
thi
?

Ismi
l
ed.

Me:
yousuchadar
li
ng
Ay
anda:
any
thi
ngf
ormyf
avour
atebabi
es
Me:
thanky
oumy
eni
wami
,honest
ly.

Heki
ssedmycheek
Ay
anda:
yakut
handauMt
ungwabhabha
Me:yakut
handauMarhadebebhabhawami
.So
i
nganeyet
huzolal
ayodwabhabha
Ay
anda:
ewebhabha
Me: hay
ibhabhazal
alanat
hif
ort
hef
ir
stf
ew
day
s
Ayanda:hayibhabhazondi
bul
alel
aumt
ana,
ul
alakakubi
kanje.
Me:
ahhhbhabhaI
'
m nott
hatbad.
Ayanda:t
hatstr
uebhabhay
ounott
hatbad,
Youareworse.

Isul
ked

Ayanda:okkelalakakuhl
ebhabhawam.Ihav e
spokent
ot hosepeopleIboughtezacotandI
tol
dthem aboutyouandnol al
akwakhokakubi,
theysuggest
edIbuyaBassinetsl
eeper
simfakekuyethenzobasaf
enobaelelenat
hi.
Me: y
hoohay
imy
eni
wam hambawedwa,
high
f
ive

Wehi
ghf
ive.

Ayanda:zangendanabant
wanabhabhaaba
ndi
zabanabonawewi ll
bemyfir
stsoIneedto
beonpoint.

Me:
Daddyonpoi
nt:
)
Ay
anda:
lov
eyou
Me:
met
oo
Ay
anda:
yout
oowhat?
Me:
Ihat
eyou
Het
ickl
edme,
Ilaughed.

Me: l
ovey
out
oomy
eni
wam.Yousuchabul
l
y
Yanda.
Ay
anda:
yourbul
l
ymf
azi
wam.comesl
eepon
me.
Me:
hay
iYandangi
mdal
a
Ay
anda:
heywenabhabha
Me:
ok,
ok

Isl
eptont
opofhi
m.

TheKhumal
os♡♥ .

I
ngakaYanda.;
-
)
[
08/
18,
23:
29]Mca:
INSERT109
Foll
owingdayi
waswokenbymyfonethatj
ust
rangnon-st
op,Godi
wassolazyt
oanswerit
.

Ay
anda:
bhabha
Me:
mhmmmm
Ay
anda:
yourf
one
Me:
changi
l
ele
Ay
anda:
younotbhabha

Itr
angagai
n,ai
yyy
ynjengubani
whogett
ocall
abant
uat6am inthemorni
ngonaSatur
day
.

Ay
anda:
bhabhav
uka
Me:
answeri
tYanda
Ay
anda:
(het
ookmyf
one)i
tsTot
ibhabha
Me:
phendul
aphel
a
Ayanda:sawubonaTot
i(heputi
tonl
oud
speaker
)

Tot
i:y
eboAy
anda,
kunj
ani
nganey
ami
?
Ay
anda:
khona.
Tot
ini
na?
Toti:
siy
aphila,yi
nindabakwavukawena
kuqal
aukuphi umakotiakumel
angausey
enza
i
tiy
emanj e?
Me:
ahhhTot
ithi
sisCapeTownnotCof
imv
aba.
Tot
i:f
anel
eusuwenzel
aumy
eni
wakhoi
ti
ye.
Ayanda:
tel
lherTot
i,I
'
mtheoneov
ukaenzel
e
yena
Me:
unezandl
aangi
thi
?

mydadl
aughed
Dad:ngangi
buzi
level
engumuzionjani
l
oni
zowakhaningaphi
l
il
eninj
e,ni
banga
umsi
ndomaanekuseni ,
sani
bonani
Ay
anda:
yebodadunj
ani
?
Dad:
goodmysonandy
ou?
Ay
anda:
greatbaba
Dad:
howar
eyouAngel
?
Me:
Notgooddad:
-(
Dad:
yini
ndaba,
yousoundokt
ome
Me: angithiuy
ekel
auAy
andanoTot
i
bangipakele
Dad:ncesekeMar
hadebengi
zobashay
a,ur
it
e
kest
handwasami

Me:
I'
m gooddadandy
ou
Dad:
greatmyAngel
,ni
vakashani
ni?
Me:
idon'
tknowbabaphel
ami
naI
'
m wor
king
t
il
lDecember
.
Dad:
andy
ouAy
anda?
Ayanda:
idon'
twannali
ebabai don'
tknow
phel
amylif
eusudependerkubhabha.
Dad:yerr
ruzabaweakkwedi
ni,
don'tletAngel
bul
l
yy ou,iknowhershei
smydaughter(he
l
aughed)
Ay
anda:
sendi
weakdad.
Me: whynivukeekuseni
kanj
e,phel
ami
nai
was
st
il
lsleepi
ng.
Toti:
ist
her
eany
thi
ngwr
ongi
fwear
emi
ssi
ng
ourki
ds?
Me: chaTot
i,i
tssi
mpl
ethatbungaf
owna
nango8.
Tot
i:y
ourgr
andmot
herwokemeupnami
Me:
hhawut
hisear
ly,
issheok?
Tot
i:y
esshei
smyAngel
,shej
ustwant
edt
o
knowi
fyouar
eokwena
Me:
yesTot
iIam,
wear
eok
Tot
i:noAngelyouar
enot,yourgr
andmot
her
bel
i
evesthaty
ouarenotok.
Me:
honest
ly,
iam Tot
i
Toti:at
hifort
hepast2weeks,shehasbeen
dreamingavunaamapent
sisi
.
Me:soazeakuvusel
elokhokuphel
a,makhul
u
i
sreal
l
ygett
ingold,ormhlampeuwahalel
e.
Tot
i:t
hat
'snott
her
easonAngel
Me:
kwenzakal
ani
kant
iTot
i,i
smkhul
uok?
Toti
:yesmyAngel heisok,
shesuspect
sthat
youarepr
egnantagain.
:-
\

Ichokedonmysal
i
va,
icoughednon-st
op

Dad:
Angel
arey
ouok?
Ikeptoncoughi
ng

Dad:
Angel
arey
ouok?

i
didn'
tst
op

Dad:
Ayanda,
issheok?
Ay
anda:
yesdadshei
sok

Atlast
,Ist
opped,
whowasmakhul
ukant
ia
Sangomaorwhat?

Tot
i:Angel
arey
oupr
egnant
?
Me:
chaTot
iI'
m not
Tot
i:Angel
!!!
!
Me:I'
m notTot
i(ist
art
edcry
ing,
inawayi f
elt
soembarr
assed,i
don'
tknowwhy)I'
m not
pr
egnantmina.
Tot
i:it
sokkal
okumyAngel
,youdon'
thav
eto
cr
y,iwasj
ustaski
ng
Me:
I'
m notpr
egnantmi
na

Ay
andacl
ear
edhi
sthr
oat

Ay
anda:
Tot
i
Tot
i:Ay
anda
Ayanda: dadandTot
i,t
obehonest,wer
eall
y
ar
epr egnant(
real
l
y?Wearepregnantmyfoot)
Tot
i:y
es,
yes,
yes,
iknewi
t

Tot
ishamemakuthi
waumuntuukhul
elwe
bev
uyangat
hinguyebuquwhoi
spregnant
,i
guessshewantedmorekidsdesperat
elyand
bebat
handabutbengakhonibanabo.

Dad:
bangumsi
ndoSakhi
Toti:
I'
mjustexci
tedgr
umpy,
howf
arar
eyou
now?

Ay
anda:
almost7weeksTot
i
Tot
i:whawww,iam r
eall
yhappyf
ory
ou,
when
wer
ey ougoi
ngt
otellus?
Ay
anda:
soonTot
ibutbesi
sosaba
Toti:
nishadi
l
ephel amanje,nott
hatyoumust
haveababyafterababy, y
ouaresti
ll
y oungbut
abantubakul
oAy andat
heyexpect
umzukulwanair
respect
iveofwhat.
Ayanda:it
supt
ousTot
inott
hem ,
bhabhai
s
st
il
lstudy
ing
Dad: andy
ou,
mel
euphi
ndel
eeskol
weni
Ayanda
Ay
anda:
Iwi
l
ldad
Dad:
siy
abongangomzukul
wana

Ay
anda:
thansdad(
hesmi
l
ed)
Me:
awuzazi
uncumel
ani
Tot
i:hay
iAngel
Me:didhereal
l
yhadtot
ell
yout
hatI
'
m
pr
egnantheisf
owar
d
Tot
i:ngi
zokukhahlel
akemina,y
ouarenot
goi
ngtotal
ktoAy andai
nthatmanner
.
Me:
yaphaphanj
e
Toti:ngi
zokukhahl
elaAngel
,usuqal
eni
niuba
yispoil
tbr
at.
Me:
I'
m notTot
i
Tot
i:Si
nenhl
anhl
aRhadebe!(i
knewoncemy
mot
herat
hiSi
nenhl
anhl
akushubi
l
e)xol
i
sa

Ikeptqui
te

Tot
i:I
'
m notgoi
ngt
orepeatmysel
f
Me:
that
'snotf
air
,ngubani
kant
iinganey
akho
l
a
Tot
i:Si
nenhl
anhl
aRhadebe!
!
Me:
baba:
-((i
star
tedcr
ying)
Dad:
angi
zi
ngeni
njeAngel
Toti
: Si
nenhlanhl
aRhadebe!
!!
!!y
ouknowwhat
todo,wipethosetear
sbefor
engikubhaxabul
a
(iwipedthem)
Me:I'
m sor
ryAy
anda(
ispokebet
weenmy
t
eet
h)
Tot
i:angi
zwa
Me:
I'
m sor
ryYandaf
ordi
srespect
ingy
ou
(
yhooot
het
hiswaef
oni
ni)

Ayanda: i
tsokbhabha(shameumy eniwami
bengi
sizel
angokubengingxot
het
hisel
way ena)

Tot
i:good,howaret hecrav
ings(onethi
ngngo
Tot
iuzakubethaakushouteaft
erthaty
oumust
befi
necasifucheeky ,y
ouinvit
eisi
bhaxuesi
more)
Me:
notbadTot
i
Tot
i:ar
eyoueat
ingwel
l
?
Me:
yesTot
i

Ay
andawandi
j
amel
a,Il
ookedaway

Tot
i:y
ouar
ely
ing
Me:
I'
m notTot
i
Toti
: keepwel
lkezi
Angel
szami
,umha
yani
thanda
us:
wel
ovey
out
ooTot
i
Dad:
keepwel
landt
akecar
eofumzukul
wana
wami
us:
wewi
l
ldad

Ayandadroppedthecall
,andijustwentstr
aight
i
ntohischestandburr
iedmy selfhehuggedme
ti
ght

Me:
didTot
ihadt
oscol
dmengal
eyandl
ela?
Ay
anda:
sor
rybhabhawami
Me: I
'm sor
rynami kadeungi
khuza
ngongakhul
umi kahlenawe.
Ay
anda:
itsok,
bhabhal
etswakeup
Me:
thi
sear
lyYanda?hhawungekenj
e,i
ts
Sat
urdayIneedt
orest
Ayanda: Ineedanewf onebhabha,
thatshi
t
yefonei safreezi
l
eandIcantstaywi
thouta
fone, Ialsoneedt ogotol
acompanyy akwa
Pool safe,forsafet
ycover
s
Me:
forwhatYanda?
Ayanda:Iwantthem tocomeandcovert
he
pool,
soonwewi ll
hav eachi
l
daroundbythe
wayasiyi
sebenzi
sithatmuchnat
hi.
Me: usunohhabakemanjewest
il
lhav
eaa
yeartoworryaboutt
hat
.

Ay
anda:
thesoonert
hebet
terbhabha
Me:chababaont
hisoney
ouar
eony
ourown
angi
yindawo.
Ay
anda:
Iwantt
ogowi
thy
ounj
ebhabha
Me:
nobhabha,
I'
mti
redhonest
lyKhumal
o
Me: okt
hen,Iwi
llgoal
one,Iwi
l
lleav
eher
eat
10:
30castheyar
eclosi
ngat13:
00
me:
ok

Justaf
tert
hatmyfonebeeped,
itwasanemai
l
,
Ireadi
tandsmil
ed:-
)

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
18,
23:
30]Mca:
INSERT110

Ndumi
e:heyl
astbor
n
Me:
babomdal
a?
Ndumi
e:howar
eyoudoi
ng?
Me:
goodt
hanxandy
ou?
Ndumi
e:gr
eat,
Ithoughty
ouwer
est
il
lsl
eepi
ng
Me:
ungi
vusi
l
eangi
thi
?
Ndumi
e:sor
ry,
wher
eismybabybr
other
Me:
hei
sri
ghtnextt
ome
Ndumi
e:howar
eyouguy
s?
Me:
wear
egr
eatandpr
egnant
Ndumie:whaww,happyf
ory
oul
astbor
n,how
f
arareyounow?
Me:
almost7weeks
Ndumie:whawww,Iam gl
ad,
Ican'
twai
tfor
umzukul
wanawam
Me.
:soar
ewe,
udaddyusekenzenenur
ser
y
Ndumie:
that'
smyli
tt
lebrot
herfory
ou,he
al
wayswantedaf
amily,I
'
m gladwathol
awena

Igi
ggl
ed

Ndumie:uzodel
i
verngubabomdal
a
umzukul
wanawam umxelelemani
bond-
a
Me:
youwi
l
lbemi
l
esawaynj
ebabomdal
a
Ndumi
e:Iwon'
t
Me:
whatdoy
oumean?
Ndumie:
I'
m comi
ngbackendofNov
emberf
or
good
Me:
real
l
y??
?
Ndumi
e:y
es
Me:
whaaw,
Ican'
twai
ttohav
eyoukwel
i
cal
a
Ndumi
e:uzongi
pheki
sa

Igi
ggl
ed

Ayanda:bhabha,
u-rudekodwamfaziwam,
whyufundekel
angefownekuseni
so,ujol
a
phambikwam ngoku?
Me:
chaYanda
Ay
anda:
whoar
eyouchat
ti
ngt
o?
Me:Yourbr
otherNdumi
e,hei
scomi
ngback
f
orgoodendofNovember.
Ay
anda:
Whyezoxel
elawenaengekat
shokum?
Me: don'
ttel
lmeyouarej
eal
ousbhabha,
khwelet
elanobhut
iwakho
Ay
anda:
I'
m not
Me: good,casnobasekut
hiwani
,Iwi
l
lnev
er
cheatwit
hy ourbr
other
Ay
anda:
Iknowbhabha

Ndumi
e:l
astbor
n?
Me:
I'
m st
il
lher
e,Ay
anday
abul
i
sa
Ndumi
e:sayhi
tohi
m,andt
hati
missy
oubot
h
Me:
Iwi
l
l,zof
ikel
alaki
thi
angi
thi
?
Ndumie:
yes,
whi
l
eI'
m st
il
ll
ooki
ngf
ormy
pl
ace
Me: good,
butr
eal
l
ywedon'
tmi
ndhav
ingy
ou
her
e
Ndumi
e:Iknowandt
hanky
ou
Me: wegoingtoCofi
mvabaandMat at
iel
efi
rst
weeksofDecemberforcleansi
ngand
i
ntr
oducingSangetoancestorst
henwewi l
lbe
vi
sit
ingXantie-Pr
etori
at i
l
lnextyearnabo
Msir
a
Ndumi
e:countmei
n
Me:
wil
ltel
lYandat
hen
Ndumie:unj
ani
ukwat
a,Iknowhi
m
ngesi
khwel
e
Me:
hei
snotkant
iwakhul
aumy
eni
wami
Ndumi
e:Ay
anday
awukhul
awhenpi
gsf
ly
Me:
ouchbabomdal
a
Ndumi
e:chaokel
astbor
n
Me:
byebabomdal
a
Ndumi
e:l
ovey
oul
astbor
nnomzukukwana
wami
Me:
wel
ovey
out
oobabomdal
a.

Iputmyf
oneont
hebedsi
de.

Ayanda:yhooy andi
shi
yauNdumi
so,
Imust
admit,
I'
mj eal
ous
Me:
soze.
ushi
ywemnt
ubhabhawami
Ay
anda:
Ijusthopeso

Iki
ssedhi
m.
Ay
anda:
lambi
l
ebhabha
Me:
hambodl
aphel
a
Ay
anda:
Nott
hatf
oodbhabha
Me:
chaYandaf
unul
alami
na
Ayanda: pl
easebhabha,
li
tt
leKhumal
o
funuqi
niswaifokot
ho.
Me:
noYanda

Hej ustdisappearedezingubeni,ei
shAyanda
knowsexact l
yIcantresisthim,Iendedup
givingin.Wehadourmor ninggl
oryno
Mt ungwawam, wemadet hebedandwentt o
takeashowert ogether
.

Wegotdr essed,itwassunnykwasekuseni,
so
hewor ehiswhiteshort
,pushinsandalight
bluepologolft
-shirt
,hewaswayt ocuteImust
say,ngi
velengibenomonau- Yandamayemhl e
ni
nani
ngat
hiuzot
hat
hwa.

Ialsowor emywhi t
eshor tski
rt
,mylightbl
ue
pologolft-shirt,
andwhi tesandals.Webought
theselasty earwhenwewer egoingtoArabel
l
a.
ThatdayIwasSi nenhlanhlaRhadebenot
InganathiKhumal obutIwasnotgoi ngany
wherebengi zozi
hlalel
anjeendlini
.

Wewentf
orbr
eakf
astsadl
aanddi
dthedi
shes
andwewer
edone.

Ay
anda:
youl
ookcut
emommy
Me:
Sodoy
oudaddy
Ayanda:pl
easegowi
thme,
Idon'
twannal
eav
e
youhere
Me:
noYandapl
ease
Ayanda:
bazandebabhabha,
ifundi
yeka
ngi
hambendedwa
Me: t
heywill
bedoi
ngmeaf
avour
,phel
a
ngi
khathel
euwena.
Ay anda: heywenabhabha! !(iwasst anding
againstthef ri
dgeinthekit
chen, hecameand
kissedme, Iki
ssedhim back,hewenti ntomy
breastsandsqueezedt hem hethenwentdown,
hepar tedmyl egsandinsertedhi sfi
nger, I
moaned, hedidn'
tstopkissingme, hecar ri
ed
mei ntothecouchandmademel i
et here,he
tookof fmyunder wearandwentdown
ngoml omo.Ir eal
lywantedmyMt ungwai nside
me.Al lofasuddenhest oppedandl ookedat
me)

Ay
anda:
comeandl
ockt
hedoorbhabha
Me:
mhmmm?
?
Ay
anda:
comeandl
ockt
hedoor,
Iwi
l
lbel
ate
Me:
butAy
anda,
youcan'
tl
eav
emel
i
ket
his
Ay
anda:wewi
l
lfi
nishwhenIcomeback
Me: (Iwassof uri
ous, howcouldheledmeon
aqedeangishiye, Iknewhewaspuni shi
ngme
kubaIrefusedt ogowi thhim.It
hrewacushion
onhim) .Ihatey ouAy andaKhumalo.(Ir
eal
l
y
fel
tli
kecrying,don'tjudgeIwaspregnant
)

Ay anda:Iwantyout
omissmemf aziwam (he
saidthatinaver
yseduct
iveway
,thatr
eal
ly
pissedme)

Me:
ahhhhYandamf
xmmm,
justgoal
ready
Ay
anda:
Ilov
eyou
Me:Ihat
eyou,
youar
esohear
tl
essGodzi
l
la
Ay
andaKhumalo
Ay
anda:
missme(
hebl
ewaki
ssf
orme)
Me:
youar
egay
Ay
anda:
heywenabhabhaandi
yont
angakho.

Het henleft,Ij
ustfelthotmf xmm Ay anda
thoughhowcanhel eav eapr egnantwoman
horny.Iwentt ostartmyassi gnmenti nthe
study,Iwor kedonit, Iwashal fway,itwas
reall
yhot, Iwenttot heki t
chenanddr ankwater
,
Iwentbackt othestudy ,Iwassonot
concent r
atinginwhatev erIwasdoing, j
ust
afterthatmyf onerang.

Me:
bhabha
Ayanda:
mfazi
wami
,yakukhumbul
aindoda
yakho
Me:
Idon'
tmi
ssy
ou,
isy
ourf
oneoknow?
Ay
anda:
nobhabha,
Iboughtanewone
Me:
aren'
tyousupposet
ochar
gei
tfi
rstf
or
somehour
sbef
oreusi
ngi
t
Ay
anda:thosestupi
dsthi
ngsdon'
tworkkuTa
Ay
labhabha,khumbul
aumf azi
wam mna

Igi
ggl
ed

Ay
anda:
Iwi
l
lbehomesoonkebhabha
Me:
Iwi
l
lbewai
ti
ng
Ayanda:makesur
eyoutakeof
fal
lyourcl
othes,
Iwanttofi
ndyounaked
Me:
haaaaYandaabant
ubat
hini
?
Ayanda:I
'
m amarr
iedman,ndi
ner
it
etobe
naught
ywithmywi
fe,any
whereandanyt
ime.

Igi
ggl
ed
Me:
youcr
azy
Ay
anda:
usukhul
uli
l
e
Me:
yesl
ove,
Iam
Ay
anda:
ser
iosbhabha?
Me:
yesIam i
nacouchwai
ti
ngf
ormyman.
Ay
anda:
shi
tbhabha,
uMt
ungwav
uki
l
e
Me:
hahahahaha
Ay
anda:
don'
tl
aughbhabha,
I'
m bei
ngser
ious

Il
aughedhar
d

Ay
anda:
suhl
ekabhabha
Me:
tshot
sho,
byeYanda
Ayanda:khomncengebhabhauMt
ungwaal
ale,
uzangi
buki
sangabantu
Me:
hahahahahaha,
tshot
shoandby
e
Ay
anda:
youar
ehear
tl
essbhabha,
Iwi
l
lgety
ou
Me:
bye,
,
,,Idr
oppedt
hecal
l

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)

[
08/
18,
23:
31]Mca:
INSERT111(
Mini
)

Idroppedt hecallandcont i
nuedwithwhatI
wasdoi ng,thecravings,Istoodupandwentt o
thedraweri nthekitchenkhangelamydried
frui
ts,bekushekeonl yone,Iatei
tbutIneeded
ezini
nzi,Ithoughtofcal l
ingAyanda
angiphathelebuthewasgoi ngtotaket
ool ong.
Iwentupst air
sandt ookmybag,carkey sand
l
ef t
.

IwenttoBaysi
demallwhichwasaboutfewm
fr
om ourhome, Iwaspl
ayingpussycatdol
l
s
songonrepeat,Iwassingi
ngalong,ei
shhIam
suchabadsingerthat
'swhy,Ipr
efert
osing
whenIam alone

Idon'
twannagoanot
herday
SoI
'
mtel
l
ingy
ouexact
lywhati
sonmymi
nd
Seemsl
i
keev
ery
body'
sbr
eaki
ngup
Thr
owi
ngt
hei
rlov
eaway
ButIknowIgotagoodt
hingr
ighther
e
That
'swhyIsayhey

Nobodygonnal
ovemebet
ter
Imustst
ickwi
thy
ouf
orev
er
Nobodygonnat
akemehi
gher
Imustst
ickwi
thy
ou
Youknowhowt
oappr
eci
ate
Imustst
ickwi
thy
oumybaby
Nobodyev
ermademef
eel
thi
sway
I
'
m mustst
ickwi
thy
ou.
..
..
..
..

Igotoffandwenti nside, havey ouev erhada

feeli
ngthatyouar ebeingwat chedorf ol
lowed,
allofasuddenIjustf el
tcol d,butwhowoul d
reall
ywatchme, Ibrushedi tof fthatfeeli
ng
andwentt obuymydr i
edf rui
ts.It henwentt o
debonairs,Idi
dn'tevenr eacht hecount er,
the
smel lj
ustmademef ull,Irushedi nt
ot he
nearestbathr
oom andpuked.Mf xmm Iwonder
whyar etheycal
ledmor ningsi cknesscas
nanininayoupuke, Iwentt orinsemymout h
andhands.

Ol
dwhi
tel
ady:
mor
ningsi
ckness?
Ismi
l
edandnodded

Oldwhi
tel
ady:
Ihav
ebeent
her
e,y
ouwi
l
lbe
fi
ne

Ismi
l
ed

Iwalkedoutandwenti ntothepar ki
ngl ot,I
droveof f, damnpet r
ol,Ihadt ogov i
athe
petr
ol station.Ihat efi
lli
ngupAy andanor mally
doest hat.Igotof fandwentt obuymay nar
ds
sourjell
ybeans.It ookt hem andwentt opay ,
j
ustwhenIwasaboutt opaysomeonet ouched
myshoul der.Ilookedbackt hefearIhad, I
almostdr oppedmyf oneandcarkey sIjust
fr
ozekwangat hindiku-5° C,itwast hatguywe
metnoAy anda, thecof feecolourguy
yayi
buzwanguAy andaphumeni ni.
Guy:
missSi
nenhl
anhl
aRhadebe
Me:
MrsKhumal
o(ungazel
aphi
kona)
Guy:
whereisTaKil
lerorusekudumpi
l
eashe
al
waysdoestoamantombazanaakhe.

Ikeptqui
te

Guy: don'
tworry,
youcantakeTaSci
ssor
uzakuphathakakuhl
e,wangat
hiy
asondel
a,he
breat
hedonmyneck.

Ikeptqui
te,Icoul
dn'twai
ttogetoutofthat
place,
Iwantedtol eav
ethesweetsther
ebutI
knewngizozihal
ela.

Ipai
dandr
ushedout
,thepet
rol
att
endantwas
done,
Igavehi
mthepetr
olcar
dngakhokha,
just
aft
erthatmyf
onerang,
itwasAy
anda.

Me:
bhabha
Ay
anda:
Inganat
hiKhumal
o!!
!!uf
unani
apho!
!
Me:
nget
hai
pet
rol
Ay
anda:
dibanaphi
nepet
rol
Inganat
hi!
!!
Me:
e-gar
age
Ayanda:ndi
kukhabeke,si
ncewhenwet hai
petr
olsut
het
haamasi mba,bendi
theni
ngohambawedwa, bungat
shongoawuy indawo.
Me:
Iwascr
avi
ngf
ordr
iedf
rui
tsbhabha
Ay
anda:
awuv
akodwaI
nganat
hi!

Justafterthattheguyknockedonmywi
ndow
athingehli
sei f
estel
e,daki
welo.
Ay
anda:
Inganat
hi!
!!
!!
Me:
mhmmm
Ay
anda:
Iam t
alki
ngt
oyou,
arey
oul
i
steni
ng?
Me:
yesbhabha
Ay
anda:
whati
sgoi
ngonI
nganat
hi!
!
Me:t
heSci
ssorguyi
sri
ghther
e,knocki
ngon
mywi
ndowathif
unut
het
ha
Ayanda:Sci
ssor!shi
t!
!shit
!!l
i
stentome
bhabhadon'
tpanicmfaziwam, ar
eyoust
il
li
n
thepet
rolst
ati
on?
Me:
yes
Ayanda: good, ungahambi lapho,j
ustparkkwi
parkingthatisnex tt
otheent r
ancey eshop,
don'topent hewindow( akushisi
ngalesosikhathi
),andlockthedoors.Iam
comi ngri
teaway
Me:ok,
(Ihear
dfootst
eps,
Iguesshewas
r
unni
ngtohiscar
).
Istayedtherengizi
dlalel
apussycatdoll
s,the
guydidn'tl
eav enaye,ebehlezii
nhiscar.
Ngeli
ngeni myhusband' scaryafi
ka,bi
ngathi
yagit
yisel
wa, hegotoffandcamet ome, ashe
wasappr oachingmycar, t
heguyleft
i
mmedi at
ely(thepervert
).Iopenedthedoor
andgotof f,hehuggedme.

Ay
anda:
Awumamel
ikodwamf
azi
wam
Me:
Iam sor
rybhabha,
Ireal
l
yhadcr
avi
ngs
Ayanda:i
tsok,i
tsmyfault,Ishouldn'
thav
e
l
eftyoual
one.Letsgo,
leaveyourcarhere,Iwi
l
l
askMsir
atocomeandf etchitlat
er.
Me:
Iam okbhabha,
Icandr
ive
Ayanda:
pleasebhabha,
Iknowwhyngi
sho
kanj
e.
Me:
ok,
Itookmybag,
foneandwentt
o
Ayanda'scar.Hef i
rstwentt
ooneofthe
petr
olat
tendantswakhulumanayeandgave
hi
m R200, Iguessbethiumj
ongel
emycartil
l
Msiraaf
ika,wedrovehome.

Ay andaf onedMsi r
aandhecamet odr ophis
carendliniandtookacabwabuy aney am.After
somet imeMawandecamet ooandAy anda
suggestedt heybraai,
Ihadtodosal ads.There
wassomet hingseri
oustheywer ediscussi
ng
andt r
ustmebekungamel angandiyivi
letheway
bebethethangakhona.Andizisokol
isikemna
engandifuniandiyi
ngeni.

Weat eMawandeandMsi r
awer egoingtosl
eep
over,honest
lyIr
eal
l
ywant edtoknowwhowas
thatSci
ssorguy,
whatdoeshewantf r
om
Ayanda,whatdidAyandadotohim butIhad
nochoicebuttowai
tforAyandatotellme,i
fhe
wasgoingt
otel
lme.Itwasl
atebutitwassti
ll
hot,
theguyswer
eplayi
ngchess.Istoodup

Me:
goodni
ti
niguy
s
Mawande:t
hisear
lyl
astbor
n,ar
eyouok?
Me:
yesbabomdal
a,I
'
mti
red
Mawande:
nit
ekel
astbor
n.
Me:
nit
ebabomdal
a
Msi
ra:
nit
elastbor
n
Me:
Nit
ebabomdal
a
Ayanda: comegi
vedaddyaki ss,Ikissedhi
m
onhi scheek,hehel
dmeandki ssedme
eml onyeni.(
Hewhispered)I
'm comingwemust
fi
nishedwhatwest artedthi
smor ning.

Igi
ggl
ed
Iwentupstai
rs,
Itookashowert
henlot
ioned
myselfandgoti
nbednakedandwait
edf ormy
husband.

Het
ext
edme

Ay
anda:
Vuy
olwam
Me:
Vuy
olwet
hu
Ay
anda:
Imi
ssy
ou
Me:
I'
mri
teher
e
Ay
anda:
whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
Me:
wai
ti
ngf
ormyhusband
Ayanda:mhmmm ,
Ivl
i
ke,
Ili
ke,
mustIcome
ther
e:-
P
Me:chabhabha,
Iwil
lwaitdon'
tst
ress,
don'
tbe
r
udekobabomdalabahl
ezinawe.
Ay
anda:
andi
nangat
het
hinomf
azi
wam ,
ifI
mi
ssher,
whi
chni
ghtdr
essar
eyouwear
ing
Me:
guessy
eyi
phi
Ay
anda:
ther
edl
aceone
me:
no
Ay
anda:
thebl
ackone
Me:
no
Ay
anda:
thesi
l
kbl
ueone
Me:
no
Ayanda:
hay
ibhabha,
theyar
emanygi
vemea
cl
ue
Me:
arey
ousur
e?
Ay
anda:
yesbhabha
Me:
I'
m nakedont
opoft
hebedwai
ti
ngf
ory
ou
Ay
anda:
shi
tbhabha,
I'
m comi
ngnow
Me:
nobhabha
Ay
anda:
yesIam,
weneedt
ofi
nishwhatwe
st
art
edt
hismor
ning
Me:
lat
eral
oku
Ay
anda:
qui
te
Me:
bhabha
Ay
anda:
qui
te
Me:
hay
ikebhabhangi
yal
ala.

WhileIwasst il
lwaiti
ngf orhimtorespondthe
doorf l
ewopen, i
twasYanda, washerunni
ng
al
lthewayf r
om thelounge?Hecl osedthedoor
andst oodagainstit
,hebi thi
slowerli
p,
wacut hahiseyes,damnmyhusbandi ssocute
kodwa, myey esdidn'
tleav ehi
m, heri
ppedoff
hi
scl othesandpooledt hem inthefl
oor.

Ayanda:
shitbhabha(Ayandat
hewayheloves
shi
tname,youwi l
lswearwaphehl
elel
wangal
o),
l
ookwhatyouhav edone.
Il
ookedathi
m andsmi
l
ed,shamehewashard
asever
.Ist
oodupandmetmymanhalfway
:-
)

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
18,
23:
31]Mca:
INSERT112

Istoodupandmetmyhusbandhal fway.
Ayandali
kest obeincont
rolassoonasI
reachedhim heti
l
tedhisheadourli
pstouched
forthebr
iefestmoment.

Het hentracedhisfingersinmyhai rand

start
edkissingme, softandgent l
e,hecupped
mycheeksi nhispalmsf eel
ingmybaby-sof t
skinagainsthisfi
ngers.Att hatmoment ,I
contentedtostayinhi sarmsf or
ever,that'
s
howsaf eIf eel
whenIam wi thAyanda.He
ki
ssedt
het
opofmynose.

Hebrushedthetipofhistongueagai nstmylips
,ent
ici
ngmet oopenmymout h.Myt ongue
methis,ourmout hsandt onguesmi ngledi
na
sl
ow,eroti
cdance, mymani cur
edf i
ngerswere
onhischest,Icouldfeelhisheartbeatagai
nst
mypalm.Amoanwi l
lescapef r
om menowand
agai
n.

Ay
anda:
mybabi
esar
ereal
l
yinneedofdaddy
.

Iputmyhandsonmyf ace,Iwasembarr
assed
tosayyes,heremovedmyhandssl owl
yand
softandtouchedmyforeheadtohi
s.

Ayanda:ar
eyoust
il
lshywithmebhabha?he
smil
ed,hesl
owl
ytr
acekisseddownmyneck
andshoul
der
srememberIwasnakedalr
eady.
All
ofasuddenAyanda'
seyesweregl
ister
ing:
-
\wasYandacry
ing?Ist
opped.

Me:
Yandaar
eyoucr
ying?
Ayanda:Idon'
tdeser
vey
oubhabhaandy
ou
knowthat.
Me:whenar ey
ougoi ngtoreal
i
zethatyouare
onesweetguyYanda?hedi dn'
tanswer
.Istood
onmytoesandpulledhisheaddowntomi nes.

Me: mybodyandsoul ar
eyoursYanda,I
whisper
edagainsthisli
ps,hehuggedmet i
ght
devouri
ngthesoftnessandthewarmthofhis
bodyagainstmine.

Iwantedtot
ell
AyandahowIf
eel
,Iwant
edto
tel
lhi
m howmuchhehasbecamethecent
erof
mybei ng, butIcoul
dn't
,thewordswouldn't
comeout ,
that'
smeatmybestnowonder
Ayandadoubt edmyl oveforhim,Inevertol
d
him howmuchhemeantt omewhileyenahe
tel
lsmeal mostev eryday,whatki
ndofawi fe
wasI? ifIwasf ai
li
ngtoexpressmyf eel
ingto
myhusband.

Me: Il
ovey
oubhabhawi
thal
lofmyhear
t,
nev
erdoubtthat
.

Heli
ft
edmeandcar
ri
edmet
othebed,
he
i
nser
tedhi
msel
f

Ay
anda:
damnbhabhaar
eyout
hiswet

Inodded
Ayanda:(hei
nsertedagai
n,Isuckedi
nabreat
h)
Ij
ustwishIcouldtakeawaythepainf
rom y
ou
ev
erytimeI'
mi nsert
ingmyself
.

Ismi
l
ed

At eardr
oppedonAy anda'sey e,Iwipedit,I
heldhisheadi nmysmal lhandsandki ssedhi s
tearaway .Idon'
tknowwhybutt hatnite
Ayandawassoemot ional,i
treall
ywor ri
edme,
I'
m usedt othemi ghtyTaAy laI'
m notsur eifit
wasbecauseoft hemeet ingtheyhadnoo
babomdal aorwhatbutatt hatmomenti twas
nott her
ighttimet oaskort al
kabouti tallIhad
todowast olethim cryonmei fengali
liki
mi
zolil
akubani?

Me:
itsokbhabha
Ayanda: buti t
snotbhabha, Ineedtomakemy
l
ifeperfect, i
thurt
stoseey oul i
vi
nginf ear
becauseofwhatIdi dbefore,youarenot hi
ng
butaninnocent, beauti
fulandl ovi
ngsoul
bhabha, youdeservethebestandIam t he
worst.Youkeepupwi thmyshi t,Isomet imes
shoutaty oubecauseofmyi nsecurit
iesand
awukagi veup- i,
youalwaysseet hebesti nme
mnal endi ngayi
boniyokum.

Youknowwheny ougav eyourpridetome, I

wantedt omakesur eIdiditperfectl
ybecauseI
thoughtIwasnev ergoingtogetanot her
chancewi thyou,Im justamanwi thnocar eer,
j
ustgrade12, ataxiownerandanexgi nsa,
real
lywhowant stobeassociatedwi tht hatkind
ofaper son,youar esmart,beautif
uly ouhav e
everyt
hingbhabha, Iwasnotsur eyouwi llst
ick
withme, asmuchasIknewy ouwer et heone
formebutIwasscar edthaty ouwon' tst i
ck
wit
hme.Ineededyout
oknowhowgoodi
tcan
be,wi
thmenotwit
hanyoneel
se.

Me:
(Ismi
l
ed)andy
oudi
dthatbhabha
Ayanda:Ihadtof
ocusony oucompl
etel
y,Iwas
sodesperat
etomakeitspeci
al.
Me:
(Ismi
l
edagai
n)Il
ovey
ouMt
ungwa

Inest
edintohi
m whi
lehestr
okedmyhai
rbot
h
ofuscontent
edtost
ayinourpri
vat
ewor
ldas
l
ongaspossible.

Ay
anda:
Ican'
tbel
i
evey
oushar
eyoubodywi
th
me.
Me:
youdeser
vedi
tbhabha

Ay
anda:
tobehonest,
Iwannaconf
ess,
ithas
nev erbeeneasybhabhat oprotecty ouf rom al
l
themenwhowoul dlovetohav ey ouincluding
mybr ot hers,Iknowt heywanty ou, andI '
m not
crazyandy ouar et ootr
usti
ngy oudon' tev en
seet hat ,Itwon' tbeagoodt hingt okil
l myown
bloodbhabha, buti fi
tsneedtobet rustmeI
willsot oav oidthatf rom happeningImust
makesur eIpr otectyou.Iknowi twi l
lbe
i
mpossi bletopr ot ectyouforther estofy our
l
ifef r
om al ltheot herguy swhowantt obenear
you, t
oseey ouasInowseey ou, totouchy ou
asIt ouchy ou,y ouar ebeauti
fulwayt oo
beaut i
f ulMar hadebeandIwi l
l makesur eI
protecty out i
lldeat hdomeapar t.Inev er
wannal etgoofy oubhabha, y
ouar ethebest
thingt hathasev erhappenedt ome, youar e
mi neandmi nef or ever.

Het
henf
li
ppedmegentl
eandIwasont
op,
I
r
est
edmychinonhi
schest
.
Ayanda:youarel
ikeanaddict
ivedrugtome
bhabha,
youdeservebet
terandthisthi
ngka
Sci
ssorwil
lpasssoon

Inodded(
Itr
ust
edAy
andat
opr
otectme)

Wemadel oveandcl
eanedoursel
ves.Wel
aid
onourbacks

Ayanda:howismyl
i
ttl
ebhabha,
hewas
br
ushingmytummy.
Me:
behav
ingIguess
Ay
anda:
andmor
ningsi
ckness
Me: notthatbadbhabhaasofl
astt
ime,I
guessit
st ooearl
y,Isowi
shngi
ngabinawo,
phel
aitwashel l
Ay
anda:
wear
ehav
ingt
hisbabybhabha
Me:
Iam scar
edbhabha
Ay
anda:
don'
tbemyAngel
Me:
(Ismi
l
ed)
Ay
anda:
thandabhabhawam
Me:
thandanami
Yandawami

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I
twasdaybef oremybirt
hday
(10October)andI
hadanappointmentwit
hmyGy nae,soAyanda
pickedmefrom workandwedrovestr
aightto
thedoctor
sroom.

Wegoti
nnodaddy
Doct
or:
theKhumal
os
Ay
anda:
goodaf
ter
noondoc
Doct
or:
howar
eyoudoi
ng?
Ay
anda:
goodt
hansandy
oudoc?
Doc:
great
,pl
easet
akeaseat

Wesatdown

Doc:Mr sKhumal
oar
eyoust
il
ltaki
ngy
ou
mult
ivi
tamins?
Me:
yesdoc
Doc:f
ant
ast
ic,
comel
etsseehowbi
gist
he
l
it
tl
eKhumal
o.

Iwenttothebed,hefi
rstcheckedmyweight,
bloodpr
essureanduri
ne, every
thi
ngwasfine,
thehecheckedli
tt
leKhumalo.
Doctor:goodnews, handsandfeetarestart
ing
tomerge, buttheyaresti
l
lti
ny,(
Ayandawas
concentrati
ngonthemoni t
ormnaIdi dsee
anythi
ngshamenezozandl anakakade)brace
yourselfformorningsi
cknessMrsKhumal o
theywil
l beinf
ullswingnow

Me:
Ist
her
eawayIcanski
pthatphasedoct
or:
-
(

Theybothlaughedatme,real
l
ytheyhadno
i
deahowi tfeel
s.Thedoct
orgaveusthepr
int
outs,wemadeanappoi nt
mentonourwayout
andlef
t.

Ayanda:
let
sgot
oWat
erf
rontIwannaspoi
lmy
babi
es
Me: mhmm Il
i
ke,ILi
ke,
babyy
avumaangi
thi
?
(
Itouchedmytummy)
Ay
anda:
ofcour
sey
avumabhabha
Me:
Andhowdoy
ouknow?
Ayand:
heismybabymf
azi
wam,
aKhumal
o,
umamelaudaddy
Me:
mhhh,
ok

Wewentt oWat erf

ront,wespentmal ikadaddy
kancanenje:-Pinfactmommydi d,don'tjudge
meuYandaakaf uningisebenzi
semyown
money ,wet henwentt oTasha'srestaurant
(ourfav
ori
t erestaur
ant)ateandleftaround
10:30pm, Iwaswor ki
ngfoll
owingdaymi na.

Wedr
ovehomesi
ncokol
aandsi
gconana
Me:
Yandamyf
eetar
esosor
e
Ay
anda:
who'
sfaul
tisi
tbhabha?
Me:yourf
aultbhabha,
who'
sideawasi
tuba
si
yeeWaterf
ront?
Ayanda:andwho'sideawasi
tubauji
kelezethe
wholeWater
frontugqibei
mal
iyam (
helaughed)
Me:
ahhYanda,
I'
m nott
alki
ngt
oyou:
-(
Ay
anda:
I'
mjoki
ngkeMar
hadebei
t'
smyf
aul
t
Me:
chaangi
kukhul
umi
sinj
engi
kwat
il
e
Ayanda:xol
okebhabhawam ngenzeni
uxol
i
sa
yi
tshonobayi
ni
Me:
nobay
ini
Ay
anda:y
es,
,
,butI
'
m goi
ngt
oregr
ett
his,
,he
mumbl
ed
Me: uzongi
thobaizi
nyawowhenwegethome
angi
thi?andIdeserv
eitphel
ait
'smybi
rt
hday
tomorrow.
Ay
anda:
yousuchababykodwamf
azi
wam

Isul
ked

Ay
anda:
Ok,
okwi
l
ldoi
twi
thpl
easur
e
Me:
yeppy
yy
Ayanda:
thandakodwabhabhawam ut
efa
unj
alo
Me: t
handanami
myeni
wam unguGodzi
l
la
unj
alo
Ay
anda:
heywenabhabhaandi
yont
angakho

Igi
ggl
ed

Justwhenwewereabouttotur
natcornerof
Jansen'
sandMerl
otAvenue,aspeedi
ngcar
came,ibi
kwel
i
cal
alamikanye,Ayandahada
ri
ghtofwayanditdi
dn't.Ayandatri
edhislev
el
besttodevi
atebuti
twast oolat
eallIcoul
d
hearwasbang,bangyayibet
hayajongathe
otherdi
rect
ioni
moto.

Ay
anda:
SHI
T!!
!!
!SHI
T!!
!!

Istayedt
her
etry
ingt
omovebutIcoul
dn'
t,
all
I
coulddowastoGROANI
NPAIN.

Ay
anda:
bhabha!
!!
!Inganat
hi!
!!SI
MANYE!
!!

Me:
Y..
..
.an.
..
d..
a

Ayanda:I nganathi
!
!!dontdieon
m...
..
..
..
bengathihewasmi lesaway,yay
aivoi
ce
yakheivakal
akancinciunti
lIcoul
dn'
thearany
t
hing.
..
..
..
:'
(:
-(

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
18,
23:
31]Mca:
INSERT113

Iwantedt oopenmyey esbutIcoul

dn't
,Ifor
ced
them toopen, Iwantedtocal
lmyhusband,
wantedt ocallYandabutIcouldn'
tmyv oi
ce
wouldn'tcomeout ,all
Icoul
dhearwasbeepi ng
ofmachi nes,wherewasIkanti,Fi
nal
lyIopened
myey es.Itri
edt omov emyhead.

Thef r
ightIhad,mymout hwasbandaged, my
handsandf eetwereti
redi
nt hebed,Ihadso
manypi pescomingint
omymout h,Ireall
y
couldn'tmov e,whywasItied,wasIcr azyor
what ,
Iwant edtocallf
orYandahewassi tt
ing
i
nt hechai rbuthowwasIgoi ngtocallhim
uml
omowam ubandag-
iwe.

Ayandasawthatmyeyeswereopened,
he
rushedtomeandaladywalkedi
naphet
het
wo
milkshakesf
rom McDonal
ds

Ayanda:
Inganat
hi!
!!bhabha!
!.
.shei
sawake
Toti
.
Me:
Tot
i??
?whati
sshedoi
ngher
e

Iopenedmyey eswi dely

,tear
sst reameddown
mycheek, bengingakhali
swakubai nthatbed,
butthetubesthedripsthatwereconnect ed
ki
mi theywerewayt oomany ,thef actthatIwas
ti
ed,whogetst obet i
edesesibhedl el
a,
zi
nhlanyakuphela,wasIoneoft hem?

Ay
anda:
Iam her
ebhabha,
I'
m her
emf
azi
wam,
Tot
iisher
etoo.

Herangthebel
lfort
henur
se,
andt
henur
se
camein.

Ayanda:sheisawakenur
se,
shei
sawake(he
waswayt ooexci
ted,
whywashet
hat
exci
ted?
???)
Nur
se:
letmegoandcal
lthedoct
or

Shelef
tusandaf
terawhi
l
ecamebackwi
tht
he
doct
or.

Doct
or:
ourmi
racl
ebaby

Heopenedmyeyeswide,
checkedmyears,
checkedmyt
emperat
ureandbloodpr
essur
e.
Shewr
otesomet
hingonmyf
older
.

Doctor:
sheisfine,ev
eryt
hingisfi
ne,nurse
unti
eherandtakeoffthebandageinhermouth,
shecanbreat
honherownbutmakesur eyou
keepherinOxgyen.

Shedi
dasi
nst
ruct
ed.

Doct
or:
MrsKhumal
o,cany
ouhearme?

Inodded

Doctor:
doy
ouknowt
hisman(shepoi
nted
Ayanda)

Il
ookedathi
mforal
ongt
ime,
atearescaped
hi
seye,
hehadaworri
edf
ace,
whywashe
gi
vi
ngmethatl
ook?

Me:
Ya.
..
.nda(myv
oicei
bit
shot
hozel
a)

Ay
anda:
(smi
l
ed)t
hanky
ouLor
d
Ay
anda:Il
oveyoubhabha,
hecameandki
ssed
myfor
ehead.
Doc:
andt
hisl
ady(hewaspoi
nti
ngTot
i)
Me:
Tot
i

Thedoct
orhadaconf
usedf
ace

Me:
mymot
her

Doc:
(shesmi
l
edandl
ookedatt
hesi
ster
)she
i
sfine,j
ustmoni
torherf
or2to3hour
sifshei
s
st
il
lfi
neaft
erl
unchyoucantr
ansf
erhert
othe
medical
ward.

Doc:MrKhumal
o,Iwi
llkeepherf
or3-
4day
s
j
ustt
omakesureshei
sok
Ay
anda:
nopr
obl
em doc
Doc:nursedon'
tforgettodi
sconnectt
he
car
ther
ed, Iwi
ll
comeandseey oubeforeI
l
eave(shesaidthattouchi
ngmyshoul der
)

Ay
andaandTot
i:t
hanky
oudoc

Me:
Yanda
Ay
anda:
bhabha
Me: wheream I?(
bengat
hiazi
bambi
kahl
ela
ekhanda)
Ay
anda:
I.C.
Ubhabha
Me:
ok

Aftersomehour s,Iwastakent othewar d,

AyandaandTot ibathedme, Ifeltdizzyt
hough,
myl egswereshaky ,t
heyloti
onedmeand
dressedmei nmypj sandt uckedmei nbed,
theyli
ftedt
hebedsot hatIcansi tup.Iwaslost
i
nawayIdon' tknowwhy ?

Me:
lambi
l
ebhabha
Ayanda:Iwi
l
lgoandgety
ousomet
hingt
oeat
bhabha
Me:
pleasedon'
tgo
Toti:
don'twor
ryAy
anda,
Iwi
l
lgo,
shei
sgoi
ng
toneedyou
Ay
anda:
thansTot
i
Tot
i:pl
easur
emyangel
Me:
thanxTot
i
Tot
i:y
ouar
ewel
comemyAngel

Ay andasatnextt omeIr estedmyheadonhis

chest ,
(ei shhizi
bhedl
elakodwamyman
couldn'tev engetinbedwi t
hme:-(hebr
ushed
myhai r .Iwast r
yingt
of i
gur eoutwhywasIin
hospi t
al .DidIhaveanast hmaattachagai
n????
?
didn'trememberany t
hing:-(

Wewer ebothquitenoAy andaandTot icame

back, shebroughtUlt
ramel ,
yorgutandf rui
t
salad,therewasalsocabbage, butt
ernut,mixed
veg,broncholiandcaul
if
lower .Shefeedme, I
wasr eall
yhungry,Ial
mostf i
nishedthefood,
aft
ert hatshefeedmef r
uitsalad.Iwasr eal
ly
ful
l.
Me:
tomor
rowi
smybi
rt
hdayYanda

Ay
andal
ookedatmet
henTot
i,meagai
n

Me:
Yanda?
??
Ayanda:nobhabha,yourbi
rt
hdayhaspassed
al
ready,
butwewillcel
ebrat
eit
Me:
Whatdoy
oumeanYanda?
???
Ayanda:
ithaspassedbhabha,
it'
sthe22nd
today
Me:noYanday
est
erdaywast
he9t
h
r
emember?
Ayanda:nobhabha,
yesyouwereadmit
tedon
the9th,
youhavebeenunconsci
ousf
oralmost
twoweeks.
Me:
unconsci
ous?
??why
??whathappened?
?(I
wassoconf
used)
Tot
i:y
oudon'
trememberany
thi
ngmyAngel
Me: chaTot
i,cansomeonet
ell
mewhati
s
goi
ngonhere.
Ayanda:wewerei
nvolv
edinacaracci
dent
bhabha,
youdon'
tremember?

JustthenIr
emember
edgroani
nginpainsand
Ayandacall
i
ngmyname,Iqui
ckl
ytouchedmy
tummy .

Me: I
smybabyokAyanda?Myst
omachwas
sti
l
lfl
at,
yesIwasnotshowi
ngupyetbutI
neededt
oknowifmybabywasok,

Ay
anda:
bhabha,
mhmm.
.mm
Me:
AyandaKhumal
o!!
!!
!ismybabyok?
Tot
i:Angel
thebaby
..
..
.
Me: khulumani hl
e!!
!ismybabyok,(tear
s
star
tedtost ream downmycheeks)i smy
ba..
by..
ok:'(.(Isai
dthati
nav er
ylowtoneasi
fI
wasr unningoutofbr eat
h)

Ayandasqueezedmet
ight
lywhi
l
ewi
pingmy
tear
s.

Ayanda:wel
ostt
hebabybhabha,
(hest
art
ed
cr
ying)
me:angi
zwa?
???(Iswearmyearszaval
ekaf
or
f
ewsecondsi
nyembezizomakhonqo)
Ayanda: wel
ostthebabyMarhadebe(hewas
snif
fi
ng)ubet
heki
lekakhul
uinyoutummyand
youstart
edbl
eeding,byt
heti
met heambulance
camei twast
oolate,t
heyhadtotakeyouto
theat
reimmediat
elyandoper
ateyouthat'
s
wherey ouranoutofbreath,
dur
ingthe
operat
ion, y
oudidn'
tbreat
hfor2day s,
the
doctor
st houghtyouweredeadbutasst r
ongas
youareandasaf ight
erthatyouareyoupull
ed
thr
ough, youcamebackt ous.

Me: i
sthatther
easonwhymymout
hwas
bandagedandwhytheyt
iedme?
Ayanda: t
heywantedtomakesur eyoudidn'
t
mov e,youlai
dsti
ll
,andever
yti
mey ouwokeup
theysedatedyouquit
eoft
ensot hatyou
wouldn'
tmov e.
Me:
ok,
soIl
ostmysecondchi
l
d
Ay
anda:
yesbhabhawel
ostourAngel

Toti
cameandhuggedusf oraver
ylongtime
shewascry
ingtoo.Idi
dn'tshedasingl
etear,I
j
ustsatt
hereemotionl
ess,Iwasnotgoingto
cry, Iwasgoi ngt obest rong, Ihav ecri
ed
enough, Icr iedmyl ungsoutonmyf i
rst
mi scar riage,whywasIsupposet ocryagai n.I
F
Godl ov edme, Hewoul dn'tal lowt hattohappen,
yesi thappenedkuSangebekusebuhl ungubut
notagai n, IblamedGod, Iblamedmysel f
,ifHe
reall
yl ov edmewhydi dheal l
owi tt
ohappen
again, at20Ihadt womi scar riagesinlesst han
ay ear, howi sthatpossi ble.Ipr aydai
ly, i
noba
i
mi khul ekoy ami ayifi
kiezul wi ni moss,may beI
wascur sed, whydi dn'tIdi et hedayNhl anhla
(myt wi n)passedaway ,whywasInott heone
whodi edi nst eadofNhl anhl a, di
dGODSAVE
mesot hatIcanexper i
encesuchpai natsuch
youngage.Dai ly,t
her ear epeopl ewhodumped
theirki dsbengabaf uni,butGodkeepson
blessi ngt hem ngabani ngi her ewewer eno
Ay andasi funaonekebutHekeptont aking
them.WhywasourGodaf av ori
ngGod.Iwas
askingmy sel fallt
hosequest i
ons.
Ay
anda:
saysomet
hingbhabha

Ij
ustst
aredi
ntoempt
yspaces

Tot
i:cr
ymyAngel
,i
thel
ps

Ikeptqui
te

Tot
i:pleasemyAngeldon'tdothi
stoyoursel
f,
i
tsgoi
ngt okil
lyouemoti
onal,
wearehereto
car
rythiswit
hyou.Pl
easenganeyami.

Ikeptqui
te

Ay
anda:
bhabhamf
azi
wam
Me:
Iwantt
osl
eep
Ay
anda:
bhabhapl
ease
Toti
:lethersl
eepAy
anda,
let
sgi
vehersome
ti
me

Icov
eredmysel
fwithaduvet,
bekuseminiand
i
twashotandIdozedof
fimmediat
ely:
'
(:
'(

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/18,23:31]Mca:
Yerrrni
nababiesy
ouhave
hypnot
izedmommy (ngalavoi
cekaYanda)I
real
lyt
houghtIwon'tpostt
oni
te,
buthereIam
typi
ng.
I
NSERT114

WhenIwokeupTot
iwasst
il
lthere,Ay
anda,
Msi
raandMawandewer
etheretoo.

Me:
wat
erpl
ease

Ay
andast
oodup,
butTot
itol
dhi
mtosi
t.

Tot
i:r
elaxAy
anda,
Iwi
l
ldoi
t
Ay
anda:
okmha.

Tot
igavemewaterwafakaIstr
aw
wangi
phuzi
sa,Ayandawasstandi
ngr
ightnext
tomeasifIwasgoingt
ochoke.
Toti
:Ayandarel
ax,shewon'tchoke,
sheismy
babyremember,Ihavetakencareofher
al
mostherli
fe.(Shelaughed)
Ay
anda:
IknowTot
i.(Hesmi
l
ed)
Mawande: unjekeTotiwheni
tcomestolast
born.Mayengahoywanganguy
ev el
ebengat
hi
akahoywanga.
Ay
anda:
youar
eexagger
ati
ng.
Tot
i:i
she?
?
Ayanda:
heisTot
i,don'
tli
stentohi
m, y
ou
shoul
dbeonmyside,I'
my oursonnothim.
Toti
:ncesekemkhulu,
younotexagger
ati
ng.
(Theyal
llaughed)
Me:
thanky
ou
Ay
anda:
howdoy
ouf
eel
bhabha.
Me:
ok
Tot
i:ar
en'
tyouhungr
yAngel
?

Ishookmyhead.

Msi
ra:
heyl
astbor
n.

Ismi
l
edaf
aint
lysmi
l
e.

Msi
ra:
ever
ythi
ngi
sgoi
ngt
obef
inel
astbor
n.

Inodded

Mawande:yhal
astbor
nal
lwi
l
lbef
ine,
thi
s
shal
lpasst
oo.

Inodded.
Theybot
hlookedatAy
andaandheshr
ugged
hi
sshoul
ders

Ay
anda:
shei
snott
alki
ngt
oanyone.
Toti:shereal
lyneedsacounsel
ing,
thi
sistoo
muchf ormyAngel ,hav
ing2miscar
ri
agesina
yearakudlal
waandIam r eal
l
yworri
edIdon't
wannal i
e.

Ayanda: wewil
lbestarti
ngcounseli
ngonthe
2ndofNov emberTot
i,Ihaveorgani
zed
ever
ythi
ngandbhabha'sdoctorsaidshei
sthe
bestpsychol
ogi
st.
Tot
o:goodandt
hankyousomuchAy
andaf
or
bei
ngt
heref
ormyAngel.
Ayanda:thankyout
oyoutooToti
f orbei
ng
ther
eforbothofus,wer
eall
yappreciat
eit
.
Tot
i:di
dyoui
nfor
myourmot
herAy
anda?
Ayanda:
noTot
i,wewi
l
l,Ij
ustwantbhabhat
o
befi
nefi
rst
.
Toti
:okkemkhul
u,sheneedstoknownaye,
youbot
hneedhersuppor
tsinceIwon'
tbeher
e.
Ayanda: IknowTot i,
andagainthanxfor
every
thi
ng, yourpresencekeptmegoing, t
he
past2weeksi fubungekhoIr eal
l
ydon'tknow
ngendit
heni,youruncondit
ionall
ovegav eme
str
engthtobel i
evethatbhabhawasgoi ngtobe
fi
ne.

Tot
iwentt
ohugAy
anda.

Toti:al
lwil
lbefi
ne,theyallsatdown
bencokola,Iwasal
lquite,Ifel
tnumb.Istayed
i
nhospitalf
or4dayst henIwasdi schar
ged.I
neverutt
eraword.OoTot i
wouldcomeandv isi
t
bancokoleIwouldjustst
arei
ntospaces,not
thatIwasthinki
ngno!!Iwasjustnumb.Ayanda
wassleepinginhospit
alinacouch,Tot
i
suggestedbayashi
ntshanabutAyandarefused.
Hewoul dmakesomesmal lt
alksbutIwil
ljust
keepquite.

Iwasdi schar gedandTot istay edaweek, she

wasst ay i
ngwi thusandshel ef t,Ay andawas
alway sbymysi de, Ihav en'tspokent oanyone
abouthowIf el
tsincet heday , Ihear dthatIlost
mybaby ,somet imesIwoul dj ustanswerwhatI
wasasked.Msi raandMawandewer eal so
stayi
ngwi t
hus, theywer eall wat chingev ery
mov eIwasmaki ng, Iam notsur ewhet herthey
thoughtIwasgoi ngt ocommi tsui cideorwhat ?
Iwasbackatwor k,Ay andapr otest edbuthe
hadnochoi ceIhadt ocompl etemyi nservi
ce
trai
ningorel seIwasnotgoi ngt ogr aduate
foll
owi ngy ear .
Wor kr eallykeptmegoi ng,andmademef orgot
aboutev er yt
hing.Goodt hi
ngnooneknewIwas
pregnant , sot heydi dn'tknowImi scar r
iedthey
onlyknewIwasi nvolvedi nacaracci dent.I
real
lydi dn' twannat hinkaboutmyl ossand
l
uckilyIhadmyf inallyassignment stosubmi t
soIj ustbur i
edmysel finmyschool wor k
nasemsebenzi ni
.Despi t
eoft hesi l
enttreatment
Igav eAy anda, hedi dn'tgettiredofme, Iwas
sti
llsleepi ngont opofhi m daily,hewoul d
makei tapoi ntIdo, Iguesst hatwast hewayof
feel
ingmycl osenesscasemot ionalIwasv ery
farfrom hi m.Iwi llalway sbegr atefultomy
husbandf orhi ssuppor t,pati
enceand
uncondi tional love.

Iwassoaf rai
dtogotothenur
sery
,Itr
ied
manytimesbutitwastoomuch.Iwanted
not
hingthatwasgoingtor
emindmeofmyl oss.
Yafikai2ndandIr efusedt ogotocounseling,
Ayandat ri
edhislevel bestshame,heevenf one
dadandTot i
bancama, hehadtocancelitand
makeanot heronewhi chwasont he18th
Nov ember,Iheardhi m confir
mingthedate,
bedlalangeskhathisakheIwasnotgoi ngt here
mina, Iwasnotreadyt otal
ktoanyoneand
therewasabsol utel
ynoonewhowasgoi ngt o
forceme.Theydeci dedt ogivemesomet ime.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

I
twasf riday,thedayofourcounseli
ng,sti
l
lthat
dayIdidn'twannagobutAy andakeptontell
ing
me100r easonsIhadt ogoandseet he
psychologistbutbengingay
i l
aphomina.Iwas
dressi
ngf orwor k.Ay
andawashel pi
ngmewi th
thezipofmydr ess.
Ayanda: r
ememberaf terwor
kwewi
l
lbeseei
ng
thepsychologi
stbhabha.
Me:
I'
m notgoi
ngt
othepsy
chol
ogi
stbhabha.

Ayanda:youarebhabha,wearegoingbhabha,
I
'mtir
edukukuncenga,wearewhetheryouli
ke
i
tornot,
uthikumnandikum ukukubonaunj
e.
St
opbeingstubborn.

Me:
noYandaangi
yi
.
Ayanda:y
ouknowbhabha,
I'
m notgoi
ngt
o
takenof
orananswer
.

Yazisometi
meslezi
zi
ntoz
incanesizi
that
hafor
grant
ed,t
heycanmoveamount ai
n,si
bethina
siexpect ei
i mount ainstobemov edzizi
nto
ezinkulu.Justthatputasmi leonmyf ace.Ijust
remembert hef i
rstdayImetAy anda, i
nfacti
t
wast hesecondt ime.Bel l
v i
l
ler emember? ?
BengiqedakudumperwuMusoandhekepton
saying'Idon'ttakenof orananswer '
hesai d
thatafunasi yeeTy ger
v al
leysiy odlanginqaba,
i
ndl el
aangi xwayangay o, whenheboughtmea
j
acketandIr efusedat hi '
youknowbhabhaI
don'ttakenof orananswer 'Iturned.

Ay
anda:
I'
m notdonebhabha
Me:
Iknow(Ismi
l
ed)t
hanky
ou
Ayanda:(hewasconf
used,
Inev
ersmi
l
edi
n
ages)bhabha?f
orwhat?
Me: f
orr
emindi
ngme, howluckyIam t
ohave
youasmyhusband,thankyouforbei
ngpat
ient
wit
hmeMt ungwa,
Iloveyou.
Ayandawassoconfused,hetouchedmyf
ore
headwit
hthebackofhishand.

Ay
anda:
bhabhaar
eyouokmf
azi
wam.
Me:
(Ismi
l
edwar
mly)y
esbhabha

Tear
sst
reameddownhi
scheeks.

Ayanda:IthoughtIhav
el ostyoumfazi
wami
,
i
tsalmostamont hnow, ungancumi
,
ungathet
hinam.
Me:youwil
lnev
erlosemebhabha,t
il
ldeat
h
dousapar
tangi
thi
??

Iwi
pedhi
stear
sandki
ssedhi
smout
h.

Me:
Iam r
eady
Ayanda:doest
hatmeanwear
egoi
ngf
or
counsel
i
ng?
Me:
ofcour
se,
wear
e
Ay
anda:
itwi
l
lhel
pusbot
hbhabha.
Me:
Iknow
Ay
anda:
whatr
eal
l
ychangedy
ourmi
nd?
Me:
not
hing
Ay
anda:
bhabha?
Me:
I'
m nott
ell
i
ng
Ay
anda:
pleasebhabhawam.
Me:the'
Iwon'
ttakenof
orananswer
'(I
i
mit
atedhi
svoi
ce)Imovedawayfrom hi
m
Ayanda:heywenabhabha(hecameclosert
o
mewangiphonsaembhedeniandhet
ickl
edme,
Il
aughed.

Me:
bhabha,
Iwi
l
lbel
ate
Ay
anda:
uri
te(hecont
inued)
Me:
bhabha,
uzoshwabani
sai
nguboy
ami

Hecontinued,
Ilaughhar
der
,het
henf
li
ppedme
ngaphezukwakhe.

Ismi
l
edshy
ly,
ngabhekaphansi
.

Ayanda:Il
i
keitwheny oudothat
,youjust
remindmeofourfi
rstdayser
oominiyethuer
es.

Me:
wasi
tourr
oom?
Ay
anda:
(hesmi
l
ed)y
esbi
yekabani
kant
i.
Me: mine,
phel
awenay ouwereaskwatersazi
i
nvi
terandyoutookov er,l
i
keinkamel
aiyacel
a
uf
akaIkhalakant
iizongenayonke.
Ay
andaandme:
heywenabhabha
angi
yont
angakho.

Webot
hlaughed

Ayanda:
howdi
dyouknowIwasaboutt
osay
that
.
Me:Iknew,
Iam aKhumal
oangi
thi
?(If
aked
hi
svoi
ce)

Hewasaboutt
osayhey
,,
,,

Me:
Iknow

Wehuggedandki
ssedkancane,
thenl
etgo.

Me:
comehel
pmedr
ess,
your
uinedmydr
ess.
Ay
anda:
Iwi
l
llookf
oranot
heronedon'
twor
ry.

Ay
anda:
lookwhaty
ouhav
edone.

Igi
ggl
ed.

Igotdr
essedandwangiphel
ezel
aumyeni
wam
toworkasusual
atl
eastIwasgetti
ngt
her
e.

I
ngakaYanda.
;
-)
[
08/
18,
23:
32]Mca:
INSERT115

Aft
erwor kAyandapickedmeandwewentt o
ourpsychol
ogist,
hernamewasDrMi chel
le
Abrahams, shewasinherl at
e40s,av ery
sweetandst yl
i
shladyImustsay .Heroffi
ce
wasbasedatNet careBlaauberghospit
althen.
Wegotint
ot herecept
ionandtherecept
ioni
st
t
ookourdetail
s,wewai t
edforabout15
minut
esandwewer ecall
edin.

Wegotinandshest
oodupandcamet
oshake
ourhands.

Abr
ahams:
MrandMr
sKhumal
o
Ay
anda:
aft
ernoonDoct
or
Abr
ahams:
howar
eyoudoi
ng?
Ay
anda:
goodt
hans,
andy
ou?
Abr
ahams:
I'
mfi
neandt
hansf
oraski
ng.

Shel
ookedatme
Abr
ahams:
howar
eyoudoi
ngMr
sKhumal
o?
Me:
finedoct
orandy
ou?
Abrahams:I'
m good,pleasetakeaseat.She
showedustwocouchest hatwerei
nherroom
andshesatopposit
et ous.Iguesstheplace
wasmadef orhersessions.

Ayandahel
pedmetosi
tandhesatnextt
ome
andholdmyhand.

Abrahams: fortoday ,
Ijustwannaknowt he
twoofy ou,wewon' tbet ackli
nganyi ssue, one
thi
ngIwoul dl i
ket osayt oy ou,youneedt o
honestasmuchasy oucan, don'
thidet hi
ngs
forthesakeofpr otecti
ngandspar ingy our
partner'
feel
ings, justspeakout ,whet heritis
goingtohur thim orher ,i
fy ouwannay el
l,yell
,i
f
youwannascr eam doso, ifyouwannashout ,
doso, attheendoft hedaywheny oul eavet his
placeyoumustf eelbett
ert hanwheny oucame
i
n.Last l
y,whateverthatwewi llbediscussi
ng
here, i
tendshere,wheny ougetoutoft hi
s
placeyouwon'tcont i
nuewi thwhatwassai d
here,questi
onsmustbeaskedher e, cl
ari
ty
mustbeseekedher e,whichmeanswewi ll
conti
nueonwhatwel ef
ton, onourf oll
owing
sessionnotinyourcarori ny ourhome, isthat
cl
ear?

Us:
yesdoct
or.
Abrahams:good,
Iwi
llst
artwit
hy ouMr
Khumalo,
tel
lmeaboutyoursel
f.

Ay
andacl
ear
edhi
sthr
oat
.

Ayanda:
mynameisAyandaKhumal
o, Ij
ust
tur
ned27ont
he28ofOctober,
Iam t
helast
bornathome,al
lboys.Iam f
rom Cof
imv
abain
theEast
ernCapebutIspentmostofmyli
fe
herei
nCapetown.

Abr
ahams:
whendi
dyoucomet
oCapeTown?

Ay
anda:
Ithi
nkIwas8y
ear
sol
d.

Abrahams:ok,
(shewoul
dwr
it
esomenot
es)
andy ouMr
sKhumal
o
Me: Si
nehl
anhl
apl easedoct
or(i
tdi
dn'
tfeel
goodtobecall
edMr sKhumal
ongumtuomdala,
Iam arur
algi
rlphela)

Shesmiledandtr
iedtopr
onouncemynamebut
thenhl
anhlasbekunzi
ma
Abrahams:Iratherst
ickt
oMr sKhumalothe
nhlanhl
asar
er eal
lyhardt
opronounce,butas
ti
megoesbyI '
m sureIwil
lgetitr
it
e.(She
smi l
ed)

Me: Iam Si nenhlanhlaRhadebenowI nganathi

Khumal o,Ijustturned20ont he10Oct ober,I
am thef i
rstbornandt helastbornathome.I
am at winbutmyt winbr otherpassedaway2
weeksaf terwewer ebor n, soIam theonly
chi
ldathome.Iam f r
om Kokst ad, KZNbut
ori
ginall
yf r
om Mat at
iele,Iam notsureifi
ts
underEast erncapeorKZN(i twast hatti
me,
whereMat ati
elewoul dbeunderECandsoon
i
ji
kwei beunderKZN)

Abr
ahams: soMr
sKhumal
owhatar
eyoudoi
ng
cur
rent
ly?
Me:
Iam a3r
dyearst
udentatCputdoi
ng
Chemi
cal
Engi
neer
ing
Abrahams: good,Imustsayyoul
ookyounger
thanyourage,Iwassurpri
sedwhenyousai
d
youwere20

Ismi
l
ed.

Abr
ahams:
wher
ear
eyourpar
ent
s?
Me:
inKokst
ad
Abr
ahams:
aret
heybot
hwor
king?
Me:
yesdoct
or
Doct
or:
doi
ngwhat
?IfImayask.
Me:mydadisaprof
essi
onal
Archi
tect
ureand
mymotheri
sanAdvocat
e.
Doct
or:good,andyourr
elat
ionshi
pwi
thy
our
par
ents,
howisit?
Me:
theyar
est
ri
ct,
wayt
oost
ri
ctbutI
'
mver
y
cl
osetobothoft
hem,
Igett
otal
ktot
hem
aboutany
thi
ng.
Doct
or:
howol
dar
ethey?
Me:
myf
atheri
s43andmymot
heri
s39

Doct
or:good,andy
ouMrkhumal
o,whatdo
youdof
orliv
ing.
Ay
anda:
Ihav
efewbusi
nesses
Abr
ahams:
andschool
?
Ayanda:Ihavegr
ade12,
Icoul
dn'
tfur
thermy
st
udiesaf
tergr
ade12.
Abr
ahams:
why?Casy
ouar
eonl
y27
Ayanda:
Ihadt
otakecar
eofmybr
other
satt
he
ageof15
Abrahams:15?Howdidy
out akecar
eofyour
brot
herscasyouwer
eaki
d,butwewillget
ther
e.
Heshi
ft
eduncomf
ort
abl
e

Abr
ahams:
wher
ear
eyourpar
ent
s?
Ayanda:mymotherisher
einCapeTownand
themanIcall
myfatheri
satCofi
mvabai
n
Easter
nCape.
Abr
ahams:
andy
ourmot
heri
sst
ayi
ngwi
thy
ou
guy
s.
Ay
anda:
noshei
sst
ayi
ngi
nNy
anga.
Abr
ahams:
ok,
arey
ourpar
ent
swor
king?
Ayanda:t
hemanIcal
lmyfathertookanear
ly
ret
ir
ementandmymotheri
swor ki
ngasa
domesti
cworker
.
Abr
ahams:
ok,
andy
ourr
elat
ionshi
pwi
thy
our
par
ent
s?
Ay
anda:
notsogood,
wet
alkwi
tht
hemanIcal
l
myfather,
whenitsnecessar
yot
hert
hant
hatI
don'
tgiveafuck.

Ipokedhi
m withmyel
bowandt
hedoct
or
cl
earedhert
hroat
.

Ayanda:par
donmedoct or,ImeanIdon'
tcar
e,
whathedoes,doesnotconcer
nme.
Abrahams: Ihavenoti
ced,
ifImayaskwhydo
yourefert
ohi m ast
hemanIcal l
myf at
her
,not
myf at
her.
Ayanda:hedi
drai
seme,hedidn'
tgi
veaf
u..
.(I
pokedhi
m agai
n)hedi
dn'tgi
veadamnabout
us.

Doct
orwr
otesomet
hingdown.
Abr
ahams:
andy
ourmot
her
?
Ayanda:rocky
,wenev
erhad'theee'
rel
ati
onshipwi
thmymother
,itgotworsewhen
sheinsul
tedmywif
e.

Abrahams:soyoudi
dn'
tandst
il
ldon'
thav
e
thatpar
ent
all
ove?
Ay
anda:
Idonow

Thedoct
orhadawor
ryf
ace

Abr
ahams:??Wher
edoyougeti
tfr
om i
fyou
hav
earockyonewi
thy
ourpar
ent
s.
Ayanda: f
rom myotherparent
s, bhabha'
s
parent
s,theyar
emypar entsnow, theyhave
acceptedmef r
om dayoneandt helovethey
aregiv
ingmei t
sunbeli
evable.
Abrahams:
that
'sgood,
theysoundspeci
alt
o
you
Ayanda:
indeedt
heyar
e,sodoesbhabha(he
smil
ed)
Abr
ahams:sowhenandwher
edi
dyoumeet
MrsKhumal
o?

Welookedateachotherandwebot hsmi
ledat
oneanother
,hewinkedatme, Ibl
ushedl
ikea
15yearoldobanj
wey i
crush:
-D.Hesqueezed
myhand.

Ayanda:
wemetear lyl
astyearatl
ongstr
eeti
n
CapeTown,shewaswi t
hherfri
ends,Ij
ustf
ell
i
nlovewit
hherinst
ant.Iknewshewasgoingto
bemywife.

Abr
ahams:
sohowl
ongy
ouhav
ebeenmar
ri
ed?
Ayanda:wemetl astyearmarch-Apri
l,we
becamefri
endsandst art
eddati
ngaround
Octoberl
astyearandwegotmar ri
edont he
27thFebr
uarythi
sy ear
,soit
salmost9mont hs.

Abrahams: thereasonwhyIam asking,the

wayy oublushateachother,thewayy our
facesli
ghtupwheny out
alkaboutyourlove,
youmustr eall
yloveoneanother.
Ay
anda:
Ilov
eherandIknowshel
ovesmet
oo.

Abrahams:Iam i
mpr
essed,
onewoul
dswear
yourlov
eisaweekol
d.

Wesmi
l
edateachot
her
.:-
)

Abr
ahams: Ay
anda,doy
ouhav
eanyt
hingy
ou
wannat
ell
yourwif
e.
Ay
andanodded.

Abr
ahams:
goahead.

Hef
acedme.

Ay
anda:
Ilov
eyouVuy
olwam.
Abr
ahams:
whati
sthat
?
Ayanda:Ical
lherVuyol
wam,whichmeansMY
JOY,MYHAPPI NESS,
sheisi
ndeedmy
happi
ness.

Doct
orsmi
l
ed.

Abr
ahams:
MrsKhumal
o,anyt
hingy
ouwanna
t
ell
yourhusband.

Il
ookedathi
m.

Me:Il
oveyout
ooVuy
olwet
hu(
OURJOY,
OUR
HAPPI
NESS)
Abr
ahams:wheny
ousayOurHappi
ness,
what
doyoumean,
casi
tsonl
yyou.
Me:
hei
sOurhappi
ness,
meandourki
ds.

Shenoddedandsmi
l
ed.

Ay
andaki
ssedmycheekandIsmi
l
ed.

Abrahams:thatwillbeall
fortoday,Iwil
lsee
younextweek, samet i
me, r
emember ,
itends
her
e, wewi
llstartwhereweleftnextweek.
Us:
thanky
oudoct
or.

West oodup, shecameandhuggedmeand

handshookAy andaandwal kedusout.We
drovehome, atleastIwasbetterthanyest
erday
,betterthanaweekago, bett
erthantwo
weeksago, betterthan3weeksagoand
defi
nitel
ybetterthan4weeksago.

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
18,
23:
32]Mca:
INSERT116

Wedr ovehomenoYanda, call

usout dat
edbut
wer eall
yloveCeli
neDionmusi c,
onet hi
ngI
l
ov eabouther,hermusicspeakst oyou,
whet heryouaresad,happy,angryandtrust
Yandawi t
hCeli
neDionsong'suzicul
angat hi
theywewr i
tt
enbyhim,andmymancansi ng
tr
ustmeIcan'tsaythesameabouthi swife,
hayibaki
thi
ngiy
abhimbanj epointblank.Ireall
y
didn'
tknowwhyYandadi dn'tf
urtherhisstudies
casumy eniwam bei
ngnot eksiandginsa
bekungamfanel
ineze.

Ayanda:
Iam cooki
ngt
oday
,let
'sgost
rai
ght
home.
Me:
hay
ibowhat
'st
heoccasi
on?
Ayanda: Idon'
tneedanyoccasi
ontocookfor
mywi fe,
itsbeenawhileandi
thi
bungadl
isoI
di
dn'tseeanyr easont
ocookcasnakum
bekungangeninokokudl
a.
Me: I
'
m sorr
yYanda, y
our
eal
l
ydi
dn'
tdeser
ve
whatIputy
outhrough.
Ayanda:i
tsokbhabha,
it'
syouIwaswor
ri
ed
about.
Me:
andher
eIwas,
didn'
tev
enconsi
dery
our
f
eel
i
ngs,
Icanbesel
fi
shkodwa.
Ayanda:youwerehurt
ingbhabha,
butdon'
t
worryi
t'
sallsor
ted.
Me:
whatdoy
oumeanYanda?
?
Ayanda:
not
hingbhabha,
not
hingt
owor
ry
about
Me: Yanda,whati
sgoingonkant
iist
her
e
any
thingIneedtoknow?
Ayanda:nobhabhawami ,heputhishandon
myt hi
ghandsmi l
edandIknewAy andawas
hi
dingsomet hi
ngfrom me,Iwant
edt oaskhim
butwhatifi
twasgoi ngt
ohurtme,whatifit
wasgoingtotakemebackt otheworldIdi
dn't
wannagobackt o.

Wedr
ovesi
l
ent
lybutwhatAy
andasai
dreal
l
y
at
emeup.
Me: bhabha,
Iknowy
ouar
ely
ingt
omewhati
s
goi
ngonkant i?
Ay
anda: not
hingser
iousmfaziwami t
rustme,
I
wi
llt
ell
youwhent i
mei sr
ightnotnow.
Me:ok,Ij
usthopey
oudi
dn'
tdoany
thi
ngst
upi
d
Yanda.

WegothomeandAy andastart
edcookingandI
wassitt
ingonthehi
ghchairinthekit
chen
watchi
ngandchatti
ngtohim.Hewasdone, we
ateandIdidt
hedishesandwentupst ai
rs,
we
tookashowertoget
herandgoti nbed.

Ayanda:
bhabha,Iknowyouarenotr
eadyt
o
tal
knowbutIwantyoutol
ist
entothi
s.
Me:
whati
sit
?
Ay
anda:
justl
i
stenMar
hadebe
Hest oodupandputcel i
neDionCDonadv d
player,andcameback,hesearchedforthe
songhewant edatl
asthefounditandheputit
onr epeatandcuddl
edmef r
om back.Thesong
was' I
Ft hat
'swhati
ttakes'
.Hewassi ngi
ng
along,GodAy andaknowshowt obreakme, he
knowshowt odigandgodeeperintomyhear t
.
Itgoesas

Youarethebravestofhear
ts,
youar
ethe
st
rongestofsouls
Youaremyli
ghti
nthedar
k,y
ouar
ethepl
aceI
cal
lhome.
Youcansayi
tsal
lri
ght,
butIknowt
haty
ouar
e
breaki
ngupi
nsi
de.
Iseei
tiny
ourey
es
Ev
eny
ouf
acet
heni
ghtaf
rai
dandal
one
That
'swhyIwi
l
lbet
her
e.
Whent hest
ormsr
isesup,
whent
heshadows
descend
Ev
erybeatofmyhear
t,ev
erydaywi
thoutend
Ev
erysecondIl
i
ve,
that
'st
hepr
omi
seImake.
Babyt
hat
'swhatIwi
l
lgi
ve,
ift
hat
'
swhati
ttakes
I
fthat
'swhati
ttakes.

Youcansl
eepi
nmyar
ms,
youdon'
thav
eto
expl
ain
Whenyourhear
t'
scr
yingout
,babywhi
spermy
name
CauseIhavereachedoutf
oryouwhent
he
thunderi
scrashi
ngupabove.
Youhav
egi
venmey
ourl
ove
Wheny
ousmi
l
eli
ket
hesunt
hatshi
nest
hrough
t
hepai
n
That
'swhyIwi
l
lbet
her
e.
Whent hest
ormr
isesup,
whent
heshadows
descend
Ev
erybeatofmyhear
t,ever
ydaywit
houtendI
wi
llSTANDli
keaROCK, Iwil
lBENDti
ll
IBREAK
Til
lther
e'snomor
etoGI
VE,
ift
hat
'
swhati
t
takes

Iwi
l
lRISKever
ythi
ng,Iwil
lFI
GHT, Iwi
ll
BLEED,
Iwi
l
llaydownMYl i
fe,
ift
hat'
swhatyouneed
EverysecondIl
i
ve,t
hat
'st
hepr omiseImake
babythat'
swhatIwi
l
lGI
VE, i
fthat'
swhatit
takes

Thr
oughthewindandt
her
ain,
thr
ought
he
smokeandthefi
re
Whenthef
earr
isesup,
whent
hewav
e'sev
er
hi
gher
Iwi
l
llaydownmyHEART,
myBODY,
mySOUL
Iwi
l
lhol
donal
lni
ghtandNEVERl
etgo
Ev
erysecondILI
VE,
that
'st
hePr
omi
seIMADE
Babythat
'swhatIwi
l
lGI
VE,
ift
hat
'
swhati
t
takes

I
fthatwhati
ttakes
Ev
eryday
I
fthat
'swhati
ttakes
Ev
ery
day
.

GodIdidn'
treal
i
zeIwascr
ying,
Ijusthel
dont
o
Ayandati
ghtl
yhetur
nedme.

Me:
bha.
..
Ay
anda:
shhhhhhhhhhhh

Heputmeonhi schestandbrushedmyback.
ThesongkeptonplayingandAyandawassti
ll
si
ngi
ngalongverysoftandgentl
e.Thatt
ook
mestrai
ghti
ntoThongoland.

WhenIwokeupi nthemor ni
ngAy anda'sarms
wer earoundmesower ehi slegs,Godwi th
Ay andaitsbettertosleepont opofhimt han
nextt ohim.Itriedtomov ebuthehel dmet i
ght
,
andIknewt hatwast hesi gnofsay ingnotnow
bhabha,itwasal readyafter8,goodt hingwe
wer enotgoingany where, wedidn'thave
any t
hingplannedf ortheweekend.Ihadno
choicebutsl eepagain,thesongwasst i
ll
playing,Isl
eptther el
ist
eni ngtoit
.
Wewokeupar ound10webathedandgot
dr
essed.Ayandawentdownst
air
stopr
epar
e
br
eakfast
.

Iwalkedint
othenur seryGodzangendangena
eversincet
hemi scarri
age,It
riedtoopenthe
doorbutIcouldn'
t,Itr
iedagain,Ifi
nal
lydi
d,I
walkedinandclosedt hedoor.Iwentt osi
t
nexttothecot,Itookat eddybearandbrought
cl
osert omychest, andhelditti
ght

Me: SangeKhumalo, OvayoKhumal o,Iknow

youcanhearmemyangel s, wher
eev eryouare
, I
'
m sureyouaresafemyangel s,IguessGod
sawangelsinyou,hesawy oudon'tdeserveto
comet othi
scruel
wor l
d,that'
swhyhet ooky ou
befor
eIcouldevenseey oubabies.I'
m sureyou
havemetuncleNhlanhla,ifyoueverseehim
tel
lhi
m Ilovehi
mt oo,onlyifhewasher e,may
bethepai
nwouldhavebeenbet
ter
,onl
yifI
knewhim nobanguny
akaowodwa.

Ithurtsmybabi esbutIhav et oletgoofy ou,I

willneverf or getabouty out hough, itreal l
yhurts
myangel .Iwasgoi ngt ol ovey ou, Iwasgoi ng
togivey out hebestl ovey oucoul dev erwi shto
have, anddaddybeseni t handakwangoku
ningekaf iki.Hei sreall
yhur tingnay e, buthei s
tryi
ngt obest r
ongf ormommy ,thatheput shis
feeli
ngsasi de.Hewentext rami l
esf ory ouguy s,
toseeushappyt oseey ouhappy, whydi dn'
t
yougi vehi m achancet ohol dy ou, achancet o
l
ov ey ou, nay ehedeser v est obecal l
edaf ather
andIknowhewasgoi ngt obet hebestdadt o
you.

Seewhathehasdonetoy
ourr
oom,Idi
dn'
tdo
anyt
hing,
Idi
dn'
taskhi
mtodoit,
hedidi
t
himsel
f,outofl
ove,outofhi
swi
ll
i
ngness,
do
youseehowmuchy oumeanttohi
m.

Wer eal
l
ydrovedaddycr azy,Sangedoyou
rememberndifunaumhl abahewassomad,
athi
wecan'teatsoilcaswenotear thwor
ms
that
'showpr otect
ivedadyisandthat'
showwe
drovehi
m crazy.

Ovayo,doy ouremember,howIusedt ochase

daddyayolalaesparebedroom kubanda, al
lto
fi
ndouthedi dn'tsl
eep,
buthewaspat i
entwith
us.Thelovehehasf oruswaspr i
celessand
uncondit
ional.

Iwannat el
lyousomet hi
ngbabiesmommyi s
soaf r
aid,daddywantsbabiesandmommy
can'tgi
vedaddybabies.Iam scaredt
hathei
s
goingtoleavemeay ozenzel
aingane
ngaphandle.Iam real
lyscared, may behis
mot herwasrightwhenshesai dIhav ealoose
womb.WhydoIkeeponl oosingy oubabies
whileI'
m supposet ocarr
yy out hroughtheter
m.
I'
m scaredbabies,I'
mr eall
yscar ed,daddyis
goingtoleavemeandIcan' tsur v
ivewithout
him.Inevertoldhi
m howhehasbecamet he
centerofmyl i
fe,Ireal
lycan'tsurv i
vewithout
him.

'
I'
m notgoinganywher eMar hadebe, Iam not
l
eavingyouanddon' teverbelit
tleyourself,you
don'
thaveal oosewomb.Iwon' tst
opl oving
you'hesaidbehindme(Hesatdown, behind
mewav ulahislegsandwangi bambaf r om the
back.Ngayamisamyheadonhi schest .

Me:it
sokYanda,Iwon'that
eyou,youcan
l
eav
eme(Iwasr eal
lyscaredofl
osi
ngAyanda)
Ayanda:Iam notgoi
nganywherebhabha,we
ar
eint hi
stoget
hermfaziwam,andyoudidn'
t
dr
ivemecr azyIl
ovedrunni
ngaroundfory
our
cr
avings.
Me:
itsokYanda,
Ayanda: I
nganat
hiKhumal
o!!Hestoodupand
mademest anduphecar
ri
edmet othebed
wangibekaonhislap.

Ay
anda:
wear
eint
hist
oget
herMar
hadebe
Me: ithur
tsbhabha,
ithurtsMtungwa,
howcan
Ihave2mi scar
ri
agesinlessthan9months(I
star
tedcryi
ng)
Ayanda:thi
xoakakav
umiMarhadebe,butone
dayheisgoingt
ogiveusbeaut
if
ulki
ds,l
il
a
bhabha,crymyangelasmuchasyouwant .

Hay
iket
heZambesi
riv
eri
bishi
l
e,ngay
idedel
a,
Icri
eduncont r
ollabl
e,myeyeswereburning
zi
nyembezi ,
Ay andabengi
bekeesi
fubenisakhe.
Hewassni ffi
ngnay e,wecr
iedoneachothers
shoulderunti
lsonela.

Ayanda: wearei
nt hi
stogetherbhabha, he
l
ookedintomyey esandwi pedmyt ear
s,Iwi
ll
neverl
eav ey
ousiyevana?Hi seyeswer esored
andpuffed,i
zidl
eleweresor ed,shamemy
Yanda.
Me:
(Inodded)ngi
yabongaMt
ungwa
Ay
anda:
til
ldeat
hdousapar
tangi
thi
.

Ismi
l
edandnodded

Ayanda:comelet
'sgoandwashourfaces,y
ou
cheeksngat
hizi
zatakai
gazi
kukubabovu,
ndiy
azosaba
Me:mfxm ,
whataboutezi
zakhongobanazo
zi
bov
unje

Justwhenwewereaboutt
oexi
tthenur
ser
y,
Mawandecamein.

Mawande:yer
r,sunundi
phambani
sa,
kuni
ni
ndi
fowna,
wherear eyourf
ones
Ay
anda:
ourbedr
oom

Hest
oppedandl
ookedatus

Mawande:ar
eyoubot
hok?,konawhatwer
e
youdoi
ngher
e,whyubusobunj
e.

Nooneanswered,wesimult
aneousl
ywentto
Mawandehejustopenedhi
sarms,Iguesshe
knewhowdesper ateweneededhisar ms.we
startedcr
yingagain,Ayandawascr yi
ngloud,
akhont oi
ndivi
seubuhlungungat
hi kukuvau
Ay andaekhalaloud,Mawandedidn'tknowwhat
todongat hiatl
astsathula.

Heheldourhandssayatoourbedr
oom , he
wentdownst ai
rsandcamewithwaterand
aspi
ri
ns,saphuza.

Mawande:phumulanikancane,I'
m notgoing
anywher
eIwillbedownst ai
rs.Ayandatookoff
hi
sshoesandmysl eeper
s, hepull
edme
wangi
bekaphezukwakheandwedozedof f
i
mmediatel
y.

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
18,
23:
32]Mca:
INSERT117
Wewokeup3hour slat
er,
Iwassohungry,
we
washedourfacesandwentdownstai
rs,
babomdal
awast herenoMsir
abusyplayi
ng,
Spyrot
hedragon.

Mawande:
babybr
other
Ay
anda:
bhut
i
Mawande:
kuzol
ungandl
ovu
Ay
anda:
Iknow,
Isor
ryaboutear
li
er
Mawande: youdi
dn'
tdoany
thi
ngwrongby
cr
ying,i
tsbett
ert
ocryoutt
hantobot
tl
ethi
ngs
i
nside.
Ayanda:t
hanxagai
nbhuti,
IthoughtIwas
st
rongbutthi
sonereal
l
ytookit
stallonme.
Mawande:
nopr
obl
em,
andy
oul
astbor
nhow
ar
eyou?
Me:Iam get
ti
ngt
her
ebabomdal
a,Idon'
thav
e
achoi
ce.
Mawande:asl
ongasy ouknowt
hati
fyou
wannacr
yourarmsar ewil
dopenandi
fyou
ev
erwannatal
ksikhona.
Me:
thanxbabomdal
a.

Wesatdownandhadl unch,af
terweweredone
Idi
dthedishesAyandahel
ped,thenwewentto
si
toutsi
denexttothepool.

Msi
ra:
TaAyla,
lamaj
i
taat
hiay
ifumenei
nyuku
(
money)y
abo.

Ayandashookhishead,
hehadthatf
aceethi
notnow,nothere.Myeyesdi
dn'
tl
eavehi
m and
Msirakeptqui
teimmedi
ately
.
WhatwasAy andareall
yhidi
ngfr
om me?I
neededtoknow,afterall
hewasmyhusband,
wepromisednottokeepanysecretsbutIwas
notgoi
ngtoaskhimi nfr
ontofoobabomdala.

Mawande: wewer
ethi
nki
ngofgoi
ngt
olong
st
reetl
ate.
Ayanda:nocountmeoutmaj
i
ta,
Ican'
tl
eav
e
I
ngaalone,sheneedsme.
Msi
ra:
weunder
standAy
la
Me:
hewi
l
lbej
oini
ngy
oubabomdal
a
Ay
anda:
nobhabha,
I'
m notgoi
ng,
youneedme.
Me:
Iknowbuty
ouar
egoi
ng.
Ay
anda:
unl
essy
ouwi
l
lbej
oini
ngus.
Me: andyouwantmet owat
chyouwheny ou
ar
eflir
ti
ngwit
hgirl
s,buyi
ngt
hem dr
inksand
of
ferthem al
i
fthome(Ismil
ed)
Ayanda:(smil
edseduct
ivel
y)ei
shhMar hadebe
youjustt
ookmebackt othedayIwil
lforever
begratef
ulkuyo,
eyandi
zi
selaumfazi
.

Heki
ssedme

Mawande:
yer
rrni
nani
yakwaqal
i
le,
getar
oom.

Wedi
dn'
tbr
eakt
heki
ss

Mawanda:
AyandanoSi
many
e!!
!

Webr
oket
heki
ssandIgi
ggl
ed.

Ay
anda:
thandamf
azi
wam
Me:
thandanami
bhabha.
Ay
anda:
Iam r
eal
l
ynotgoi
ngwi
thouty
ou.
Me: y
ouarebhabha,don'tworryaboutme,I
wil
lbefi
ne.Iwil
ll
ockthedoor sandar mt
he
al
arm,bythewayIwillwatchthemov i
est
il
lyou
comebackbuttodayisboy sni
ght.
Ay
anda:
arey
ousur
eaboutt
hisbhabha?
Me: 100%sur
e, andtrustmeIwon'
thangmy
sel
f,Iwon'
tcr
y,butthere'
safav
ourIwannaask
fr
om you.
Ay
anda:
shoot
Me:canyouaccompanymesi
yohi
ri
shat
he
mov
ies.
Ay
anda:
ok

Hewasr eal
lyhesi
tati
ngbutatl
asthegavei
n,
yesIneededAyandabuthewasasy oungasI
was,bei
ngamandi dn'
tmeanhemustputhis
l
if
easi
deandfocusedonmeonly,
hehasbeen
t
heref
ormeinti
meswhereIneededhi
mthe
most,
hesupport
edmeandlovedmekunzi
ma.

Healsoneededhisti
meal
one,
wit
hboy
s
engekhouInganat
hi.
Icannotbabysi
tAy anda, Ineededt
otrustmy
husbandesendl
ininami ,
whenhei soutther
e
ebumnandini
,heneededt oknowhei sfreeand
i
tsupt ohi
mt ouset hatproperl
yormisuseit,
asnami Iwasexpectingthesamekuy etotrust
me.

That'
sthemist
akewi t
husl adies, hayikabibut
wetendtobabysitourhusbandsorboy fri
ends,
wewantt obenanniesandmot herstoour
part
ners,
hemustknowt hatyouar ejusta
gi
rlf
ri
endorawifenothismot hercasoncey ou
becomeamot hertohim heisgoi ngtol eave
y
ouaphaendl
i
niay
ofunaagi
rl
fr
iendoutsi
de.

Msir
a: ar
eyousur
eaboutt
hisl
astbor
n,casI
canstaywit
hyou.
Ayanda:phambenesani
sozendi
kushi
ye
nomfazi
wam (hehadaseriousf
ace)
Mawande:
youcango,
Iwi
l
lst
aywi
thl
ast
bor
n
Ayanda: y er
rningandi
phambani
si,t
hereisno
oneoshiy ekanomf aziwam ,
ndingaske
ndingayinakulokakayelongstr
eet(hewas
fummi ng, GoduAy andakodwa)

Theybot
hlaughed.

Msir
a:wearekiddi
ngAy l
a,cal
m down,
youwi
l
l
hav
eaheartat
tack,rel
ax.
Ay
anda:
nidl
alakakubi
.
Iki
ssedhi
scheek.

Ay
anda:
Iam notgoi
ngbhabha
Me:y esy
ouarebhabhaandIwon'ttakenofor
ananswer(hesmiled)ohhhl
adiesand
gent
lemanhal
lel
uyahecansmile(Iimit
ated
hi
svoice,
Iraninsi
de).
Ayanda:heywenabhabha(her anaf
terme,I
managedtotake5stair
sandhecaughtme,he
carr
iedmetothebedroom andputmeonthe
bed)

Hewasont opofmeandhest art

edki ssi
ng
me,Ir
esponded,
wekissedhungri
lyandi t
tur
nedint
oasoftki
ss,hewentdownonmy
neckandcamebackonmymout h,het hen
unbut
tonedmydress,hishandsreachedmy
boobs,heuncl
ippedmybra,
hetookof
fmy
dresscomplet
elyandwentt
osuckmynippl
es.

Ist
oppedhi
m.

Me:
bhabha
Ay
anda:
mfazi
wam
Me:
notnow
Ay
anda:
ok,
Iunder
stand.

Therewasbi tofawkwar
dness,
inawayIlost
i
nterestinlovemaki
ng,bei
ngtouched,
Iwasso
uncomf ort
able.

Me:
letmecheckf
ory
oui
ntoy
ogqoka.
Ay
anda:
butf
unuhambanawe
Ayanda:nobhabha,
youar
egoi
ng
nobabomdal
a.
Ay
anda:
Ingay
ini
leuf
unauy
enzandi
ngekho?
Me: (
amen)nothi
ngbhabha,
Ijustt
hinkyou
deser
veti
mealone,Ihav
ebeensuffocat
ing
youwithmyl
oss.
Ay
anda:
ourl
ossbhabha
Me:
ok,
keMt
ungwabuty
ouar
egoi
ng
Ay
anda:
okkemf
azi
wam ,
zobuy
aear
lykodwa.
Me: hayiYanda, Idon'
tcar
enobaubuyengo6
am aslongasy ouwi ll
besafeandenj
oybut
don'
tdrinktoomuch, youwil
lbedr
ivi
ng,phel
aI
don'
twannav isityouejel
eubanj
welweidri
nk
anddrivi
ngmi na.
Ayanda:akakazal
waoyawuzeabambeuTa
ki
l
leraphaeWest er
ncape.

Ir
aisedmyey
ebr
ow
Ay
anda: I
'm bei
ngseri
ous,Isneezeandthe
motherf
uckersgett
hecoldeventhecops.
Me:
uzi
thembi
l
ebhut
i.
Ay
anda:
ndi
tr
ust
ebhabha

Itookouti
ntobezozi
gqokaandputthem ont
he
bedandwewentbackkobabomdal a.

Msi
ra:
yer
rni
nukai
sil
alo
Ayanda:thet
hikakakwedi
ni,
int
ooy
ici
ngay
o
si
sil
aloqha.
Mawande:
ishel
yi
ng?

Thebot
hlaughed.
Ayanda:eveni
fsi
lel
ene,ther
eisnothi
ngwr
ong,
ndi
yenzanomfazi
wam, endli
niy
ethu.

Theyl
aughedmor
e.

Msi
ra:
soy
ouagr
eewi
thus
Ay
anda:
phumaaphoMsi
ra

West ayedt
herebazi
ncokol
ela,
thenwewentno
Ayandat ohi
redvds,wecamebackandthey
l
eftaround19:30.Il
ockedandwentupst
air
s.

Itookashowerandwenttobedandwatched
themovie.Around20:
45,myfonebeepedit
wasansms, Iopenedi
t.

Ay
anda:
bhabha
Me:
Yanda?
Ay
anda:
arey
ouok?
Me:
yep
Ay
anda:
whatar
eyoudoi
ng
Me: Iam t
ryi
ngtowat
chamov
iebut
yangi
phazamisa
Ay
anda:
ndi
ri
te
Me:
bhabha!Yangi
phazami
saMt
ungwa
Ay
anda:
yakukhumbul
anj
emf
azi
wam
Me:
itsonl
yanhournj
euhambi
l
e
Ay
anda:
ini
nzi
nje
Me:
bhabha,
yangi
phazami
sabandl
a
Ay
anda:
whatar
eyouwear
ing?
Me:
byebhabha
Ay
anda:
youdar
enotr
espondt
omysms!
Me:
I'
m wear
ingagown
Ay
anda:
under
neat
hit
Me: ahyi
inj
eYanda, I
'
m nott el
li
ng,you
supposetoenjoyyournightoutli
bal
engoI
nga
..
..Hhabeunjanikant
ilobhuti
,,

I
ngakaYanda;
)
[
08/
18,
23:
32]Mca:
INSERT118

Ayanda:Iwasl
ooki
ngatt
hatpi
cofy
ou,
Itook
i
tulel
eebhedi
ni.
Me:
whi
chone?
Ayanda:t
heoney
ouwerenaked,
theoneIsai
d
keeponsmil
i
ngIwannaseet
hosedimpl
esof
your
s.

Iwassoshockedi
nawaythatngal
aqazaasi
f
ther
ewer
epeoplenextt
omeandasi fIwast
he
onel
ooki
ngatt
hepi
ctur
e.

Me: siesYanda,youarelooki
ngatnude
pict
ureswhileyouarearoundpeopl
e,that
'
s
rudeandinappropri
ate.
Ay
anda:I
'
ml ooki
ngatmywi
fenotpor
nst
ars.
Whati
swrong?
Me:
hay
ingi
thul
enj
e
Ay
anda:
I'
m comi
nghome,
I'
m bor
edher
e.
Me:bhabhano,
zongi
phazamisa,
I'
m watchi
ng
amovi
eandIhavemissedalotal
ready,
Ineed
t
orest
arti
t.
Ayanda:pausei
t,wewi
l
lwat
chi
ttoget
her
,I'
m
coming.

Me:
Igi
veup,
yougay
Ay
anda:
heywenabhabhaandi
yont
angakho.
Me:
u-r
it
e
Ay
anda:
shar
pkebhabha,
Iwi
l
lbet
her
einf
ew.
Me:
dri
vesaf
ekeMi
ssKhumal
o
Ay
anda:
MissKhumal
o?
Me:
yes
Ay
anda: phambenebhabha,Iwi
llshowyou,
I
wi
llnev
erbeMissKhumal owhenIgethome.
Me:
mfxm whatev
er.

Itr
iedtogi veAy andahi
stimeal one,Godknows
Idi
dbutAy andangobhabhawakhe, i
fshei s
notbyhi ssidebangathiuzoduka.Ilovemy
betterhalfkodwa.Istoodupandwentt othe
ki
tchenandmadepopcor ns,si
nceMrKhumal o
decidedtoj oi
nme.It ookjuiceandgl assesand
wentbackupst air
s.Aft
ersomet i
meAy anda
walkedin.Myhusbandakaphi langakodwa.
Hedi dn'
tut
terawor d,
hecamet omeand
ki
ssedmeandIknowmyhusbandmay enje
uMtungwazi beezi
funelauMar
hadebewakhe#
winks#itsbeenamont handsomeweeks
phela.

Hebroket hekissandl ookedatme, hereached

mymout hagai n,ourmout hslockedthenwe
ki
ssed,histonguebr ushedthedel i
cateshell
of
myear, hewaski ssing,biti
ng,touchingand
expl
ori
ngev eryinchofmybodywi t
hhi smouth,
hist
ongueandhi shands.

Histonguekeptonexplor
ingmymouth,my
neckandmyear s,hi
steethfoundmybr
east
s
andmyni ppl
es.Imoaned

AsmuchasIwasoncl
oud9Ihadt
obr
eaki
t.
Me:
bhabha
Ay
anda:
pleaseMar
hadebe,
I'
mtoohor
ny.
Me:
Icanseebhabha,
butweneedt
otal
k
Ay
anda:
notnowpl
easebhabha
Me:
nowYanda!
!!

Hedidn'
tmov
efr
om mehi
sey
eswer
est
il
l
cl
osed.

Ay
anda:
I'
m beggi
ngy
oubhabha
Me: wewi
l
lmakel
ovebhabhabutweneedt
o
t
alk
Ay
anda:
thi
ssoundsser
ious
Me:
iti
s
Ay
anda:
I'
mli
steni
ngkemf
azi
wam
Me: Ihavebeent hr
oughalotbhabhainless
t
hanay ear
,Idon'tt
hinkI
'mreadyinfactIdon'
t
t
hinkIwi l
lbereadyforanot
herpregnancyfor
t
henext2y ear
s.

Ayanda: (heswall
owedhar d)ok,Iunderst
and
Marhadebe,anywayasIsaidwewi llhaveki
ds
whent i
mei sri
ghtandrestassur
edIwon' t
l
eavey ousiyev
ana?Takey ourti
mewheny ou
ar
er eadywewi l
ltr
yagain.
Me: thanky oumy eni wam....
..
..
..
..I
tmeanske
bhabhawewi llcondomi seunti
lwer eady,I
don'twannat akeani nject
ionorpill
s,i
tsenough
thatIam takingsingulardail
y,Ican'
thave
anotherpi
ll.

Hearmeoutguy s, Ihear
dstori
esabout
i
njecti
onandpil
ls,Iam notsurehowtr
uethey
ar
e, sometheysayabany eabant
u
i
y abakhuluphali
saabany eibenzabazace
kakhulu.Iwassonotpr eparedtobethinner
thanIwasal readyandIwasal sonotprepar
ed
tobesi ze32,orabov e,
thebestwaywast o
condomi seev enthoughIknewYandawasnot
goingtobepl easedbutaf teral
litwasmybody.

Ay
anda:
condomi
sebhabha?
?
Me: yepYanda,doyouhaveanot
heropti
oncas
It
hinkthesecondonewill
beABSTAINING
Ay
anda: Iwil
ltaket
hecondomi
singone
Marhadebe

ThewayhesaiditIcoul
dn'
thel
pitbutl
aughed
outLoud.Yougott
oloveAyandakodwa.

Ay
anda:
canIsaysomet
hingnam bhabha?
Me:
youar
ewel
comebhabha,
rememberwe
ar
etal
ki
ng,
I'
m notf
orci
ngy
oui
ntoany
thi
ng
Ayanda:Iknowbhabha,canwenotusea
condom someti
mes,Ipr
omi sengi
zochi
thel
a
phandl
e.

Ir
aisedmyey
ebr
ow

Ayanda:pl
easebhabha,t
woy ear
sisal
ong
ti
mendisebenzi
saIcondom (hehadasadf
ace
shameumy eniwami)

Me:
fai
renoughasl
ongasy
ouwi
l
lst
ickt
othat
.
Ay
anda:
arewedonenowMar
hadebe.
Me:
yep
Ayanda:t
hankyouLor
d, I
'm hungr
yandwear
e
aboutt
opassoutnoMtungwa.
Igi
ggl
ed.

IknewAy andawasgoi ngtopuni shmef or

sayinghewasgayear li
ersoIhadt obe
i
ncont rolanddon' tgi
vehi mthatchancet odo
so.Ist art
edki ssi
nghim, Imadehi m stoodon
hiskneesont hebed,Ifi
rstt
ookof fhishood,I
didn'tbreakt hekiss,
Itookoffhist-shi r
t,hi
s
vest,ohhht herewasmyhusband' sbody,wa
designerkodwaumy eniwam , Ikeepon
droolingwhenIseehi sbodyy ouwoul dswear
angihlalinay edai
ly.

Imadehi
mlieonhisback,
thenIt
ookoffhis
j
ean,t
ookof
fhisboxer
,uMtungwabeseready,

Idr
ewabr eathandhel
duMt ungwa,Itookhim
i
nchbyinch,Iusedal
lthecombinat
ionofmy
mouth,
tongueandhands.Hewasmoani ngand
Iwoul
djustwi
nkathim,hiseyeswer
eclosed,
I
gothi
m buti
naverydipl
omaticwayandIknow
howYandahatet
obedef eat
ed.

Itookabr eakandusedmyhandt obrusht he

headofMt ungwaagai nsttheout l
i
neofmyl i
ps
taki
nghi mi nt
omymout h.Imov edfast
erand
faster,Itookhim deeper ,hemoanedl ouder, I
startedgaggi ng,Ikeptont hr oat
ingmysel f.He
wasmoani nguncont r
oll
abl eandIknewhewas
onhi swayt oCHI THALAND, Ikeptongaggi ng,
hehel dmyheadandt hrust edstrongly,Iknow
Yanda' scur etoCLIMAXLANDandIdi djust
that, Il
ighthigonhi stesticlesandwhal l
l
aIwas
done

Ay
anda:
m..
..
o..
..
.v.
..
e..
.I.
n..
nga

andewuuuuuuu!
!Iwentt
ori
nsemymout
h,I
camebackandcl
eanedhi
m.

Me:
youshaki
ngbhabha
Ayanda:y
err
rInganathi!
!I'
m notshaki
ng,
(he
sai
dthati
nashakyv oice,)

Igi
ggl
ed

Ayanda:kudal
andi
kukhuz
angal
ent
oyondenza
weakInga,awumamel
i.

Igi
ggl
edagai
n.

AsIsaidIwassonotgoi
ngtogiv
ehima
sat
isf
acti
onthatni
ght
.Iwentontopofhi
m,
Ay
anda:
noI
nganat
hiy
ouar
enotdoi
ngt
hat
.

Ididn'tli
stent ohi m, Iplant edsomeki sseson
hismout h, wentdownonhi sneck, hischest ,I
wentbackt ohismout h,ourt onguesmi ngl
ed
anddancedi naner oti
cmov e, Ilefthismout h
andwentt obitehisear sandbl ewsomeai ri
n
hisear ,Icont i
nueexpl ori
nghi sbodyusi ngmy
tongue, hewashar dasev er ,Iposi tionedmy
self,mywor stpartwasy ett ocome, I
struggledabi tandhehel pedmeandl asthe
wasi nsideme.Ist ayedt her ewi t
houtmov i
ng,I
hadt oadj ustphel akadengagci na, Ist arted
mov ing, Irodemyhusband, nginer ightmoss
I'
m mar ried#wi nks#Imov edi nci rcle, twerked,
hekeptonmoani ng wel l Igott opuni sh
uMt ungwakamnandi kodwa, t
hepuni shment
yasebedr oomi ni.
Imov
edf
ast
er,
fast
erandmov
edev
enf
ast
er.

Ay
anda:
bhabha,
don'
tpl
ease,

Idi
dn'tl
i
sten,Iwasi
nchargephel
a,why
bekumelengi
l
alel
eyena.

Ay
anda:
bhabhapl
smf
azi
wami
.

Icont
inuedmovi
ngf ast
.Icoul
dfeel
mycl
i
max
wasbuildi
ngupnakumi.

Ay
anda:
f**
*b.
..
ha

Heheldmywai standthrust
eddeeply
,God
akhontondi
yosabangathikukuthr
ust-
wer
,I
screamedandsquirt
edsamet ime
Ay
anda:
da.
..
,
m..
nI.
.,
nga

Wecamesamet
ime.Icl
eanedbot
hofus.

Ay
anda:unenkanikodwaMarhadebe,I
'mthe
manher
enoty ou.(
Hiseyesweresti
ll
closed)

Igi
ggl
ed.

Ayanda:y
ouar
ehear
tl
ess,
howcany
oudot
hat
toanoldmanl
i
keme.

Igi
ggl
edagai
n.

Me:
arey
ouol
d?
Ay
anda:
ewehay
iboMar
hadebe
Me: Ishoul
dtakeyout
ool
dageandngi
bheke
i
ncuncwanaphela.
Ayanda:heywenabhabha,ndi
ngabulal
aumt u.
Heycomeher e,
(hepulledi
ntohi
schest )Il
ove
youMarhadebeandthankyouhekissedmy
for
ehead.

Ismi
l
ed

Ayanda:doyouseethereasonwhyIcan'
tst
ay
awayfrom y
ou,wher
eelsecanIgetthi
s(he
smil
ed)

Igi
ggl
ed.

Wewat
chedt
hemov
iesi
ngagqoki
l
esi
njal
o,I
wasst
il
lonYandaschest
,wehadourpopcor
ns
Uphel
akwemovie,weswit
chedof
fthetvand
wewerest
il
loneachother
sarms,
Iclear
edmy
thr
oat
.

Me:
Yanda
Ay
anda:
bhabha
Me:
whatwasMsi
rat
alki
ngabout
?
Ayanda:nothingbhabha,
(heshi
ft
ed
uncomfort
able)
Me:r
eal
l
ynow?Thatli
nei
sstart
ingt
odriv
e
mecr
azy
,whatwasMsi
rat
alki
ngabout?
Ay
anda:
leti
tgobhabha
Me: noYanda,Iwon'
tl
eti
tgo,
casezi
zi
nto
zakhozi
buyel
anakumi.
Ayanda:t
her
eisnoonewhoi
sgoi
ngt
obot
her
youagai
nbhabha
Me:
andt
heSci
ssorguy
?
Ay
anda:
all
sor
tedbhabha
Me:
whatdoy
oumeanYanda?
Ay
anda:
not
hingbhabha
Me:
OK,
Itur
nedngazi
mbozangengubo.
Ay
anda:
andnow,
whyar
eyoudoi
ngt
hat?

Ikeptqui
te,
Iwasti
redofbei
ngAy anda'
s
barbi
edoll
,i
never
ythi
nghejustsaysnot
hing
bhabha

Ay
anda:
bhabha

Ikeptqui
te

Ay
anda:
bhabha,
youar
ebei
ngunf
airwemade
apromi
sethatwewi l
lnev
ersl
eepsi
xabeneand
nowyouar
ebr eaki
ngthat
.

Promisemyleftfoot,
Iwasnotgoi
ngt
olet
Yandaangenzeisli
ma

Ayanda:al
lI'
m doingi
stoprot
ecty
ou,
why
don'
tyougetthatbhabha?

Ikeptqui
test
il
l.

Ayanda:youcanbeamoodki l
l
erkodwa
I
nganathi
,whydidn'
tyoul
ett
hisgo
okwanamhlanj
eandaskthi
stomorrow?

Ikeptqui
te
Ayanda:OK!OkInganathi!y
ouwannaknow
thetr
uth,
vukaIwil
ltel
lyou!!

Isatup.

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[08/18,
23:32]Mca: Jacquuel
ineBongi
we
Mt ambo,happybirt
hdaymyAngel ,hopey
ou
stil
lenj
oyi
ngy ourdaybhabhawami .MayGod
blessyou,t
hisoneisf oryou.

I
NSERT119

Ayanda:y
esIngaIpai
dthoseguy
s,ngamaj
i
taI
usedtoworkwit
h.
Me:
youpai
dthem f
orwhatexact
ly?
Ay
anda:
fort
hewor
kIwant
edt
hem t
odof
or
me.
Me:
whi
chwas?
Ayanda:(
heshif
ted)
,tol
ookforScissorI
nga,
I
wantedt
oteachhim al
esson,
bengasoze
aphi
ndeayi
li
bal
e.
Me:mygodnessAyanda,wespokeaboutt
his,
soy
ouarest
il
lgoi
ngaroundki
ll
ingpeopl
e.
Ayanda:
nobhabha,Iwasnotgoingt
okil
lhim,I
knowhowyoufeelaboutmeki
ll
ingpeopl
e,but
tr
ustmehewasgoingtopay.
Me:
whati
sitke,
expl
aint
ome.

Ayanda: yerrI
nganathi,whatwasIsupposet o
do?sitmyassaf terlanjakil
ledmyunbor nchi
ld
hee!!Thatbastar
dmur deredmychild,
almost
tooky ourl
if
ejustli
keZi masadid,hedeserved
todie,noone,Imeannoonei nt
hiswor l
dwould
touchmyf amilyandl eavetotel
lthestor
y,no
oneI
nganat
hi!
!,
,hest
oodup.

Yhoou-AyandawaskewanguGodzil
l
auqobo,
I
j
ustsankunderbl
anket
s,hewaspaci
ngupand
down.

Ayanda: eventhatnjakaziinguZi
masa,i
fit
wasn'tforyoungee- sixfeetunder,
yawuzincendaahambel ekudengobandawuze
ndi
mphul eimihlat
hiamazi nyoyawachol
a
phansiwonke.I'm notdonewi thher
!!
Me:ungenakuphikahl
ekahl
eu-
Sci
ssori
nme
l
osi
ngmychildAyanda.

Ayanda:thatbast
ardpremedit
atedt he
acci
dent,
hehadmef ol
lowed,afterthathe
di
sappeared,soIhadtocall
inforf avor
s,t
hose
guysaretheoneswhof oundhim, Icoul
dn'
tdo
i
tmy
sel
fcasIwasi
nhospi
tal
.
Me:
soy
ouki
l
ledhi
m.
Ay
anda:
nobhabha,
(hecamet
osi
tnextt
ome
)
Me: t
henwhoki
l
ledhi
m casIhav
ehear
dhei
s
dead.
Ayanda: nditrust
-erbhabhaIdidn'tkil
lhim,
whenmyguy sgothim hewasdeadal ready,he
wasshotbyt hepoliceinGugulethutheywer e
tr
yingtoblowanat m, hegotshotandhedi ed
ont hespot.Icanev engiveyouinumbery el
iny
e
i
-gat ha(poli
ceman)f onehim andmakean
appointmentumbuze, hewil
ltell
y ouubau-
Scissorbelewengubani .
Me:
arey
ousur
eAy
anda?
Ayanda:ndit
rust
-erIdidn'
tki
llhi
m, I
'
m not
happywit
hthefactthathediedbeforeIcould
takeoneofhi
sbodypar tsbutthepoli
cedidus
af av
our
.Nditr
usterbhabha,I'
m donewiththat
l
ife,
Icannotgobackt
othatl
i
fe,
I'
m doneki
l
li
ng
people.

Me:soAy
anda,
howdi
dyouknowScissorand
t
hist
imey
outel
lmeev
ery
thi
ngdon'
tl
eav eno-
i
s.

Ay anda: Iknewhi m 10yearsback, hewast he

l
eaderofacer t
aingang,theygotar rested8
yearsback, hewasoutl asty earMayandhe
cameaf termesi ncewehadunf i
nished
businessbef orehewasar r
est ed.Hewant edto
eli
mi natemesoIhadt oprotectmy self,t
hat
nightIcamet oy ourroom wehadacl ashandi t
gotbadkwaf i
kaamagat ha,theyspot t
edmycar
andl uckyenoughIhav epeopl eIknowwhogot
mybacknam ndi yababonelela,Iwast ol
dto
disappearf oraweekort wot i
lleverything
cooledof fandy ourplacewast heonl yoption.
Me:soyoucommi
tt
edacr
imeont
hatday
Ay
anda?
Ayanda:
nobhabhawedidn'
tdoany
thi
ngbut
oneofmyguy
sgotinj
ured.
Me:soinawayyoumademeanaccompli
ce
Ay
anda?Ihel
pedyouescapeduf
unwa.
Ayanda:nobhabha, i
tsnotli
kethat,wewere
notwrongScissorandhisguyswer e,t
hat'
swhy
thewerearr
ested,Iguessheser v
edonl yone
yearcasnankohewasoutandt hi
st i
mehe
wantedtomakesur ehehur t
smet hroughyou,
casheknewIwasunt ouchabl
e.

SoAyandatoldmethewholestorysi
kaScissor
fr
om t
hebeginning10year
sbackbef or
ehe
wasarrest
ed,whohelpedAyandaacashet he
dayaf
ikakum eres,howdidhegetthefakedI'
d
anddr
iver'
sli
censeIsawinIT-centr
etheday
hebookedacarf rom Fir
stcarrent
al,
unfor
tunat
elyguys,Icannotdiscl
osethat
i
nformati
onitsconfident
ial
.

Ay
anda:
ndi
khol
weMar
hadebe
Me:
Ibel
i
evey
oubhabha
Ayanda:enkosi
bhabha,t
ell
meifIki
l
ledhi
m
wereyougoingtol
eavemeasyousai
dit
befor
e.
Me: IwasAyanda,ImeantitwhenIsaidone
mist
akeyoutakeone'sl
if
eI '
m outofhere.I
di
dn'
tmar r
yakill
erbutAyandaKhumal o.
Ayanda:that
'snotfai
rbhabha,Il
ostt
wobabies
ngenxayabantuandImustjustkeepqui
te,
that
'sr
eall
ynotfair
.
Me: Tot
iul
okoat hi
li
feisnotfairvel
e.Doyou
thi
nkmnaI'm notangry,
Idon'twannakil
lthem ,
IdoAyandabutIdecidedtoletthem i
nthe
handsofGod.Ekhay asi
yakhonzaAy anda,we
don'tki
llpeopl
ebutwedopr ayforthem,that
onedayt heywill
reali
zethei
rmi st
akesand
apologize,wepraythatonedayt heywill
changef orbet
ter,l
ookwhathappenedt o
Scissorhegotshotandwenay ouar eableto
sl
eepatni ghtcashisbloodisnotony our
conscious.

BhabhaInev ergrewupi nfear,

Iwasaf r
ee
child, y
ouknowwhybecausemypar entsdidn'
t
goar oundmaki ngenemi es,nathikeAyandawe
wi l
lhavekidssoon, andI '
m sureyouwoul d
l
ov et oseeyourkidswal ki
ngint hestr
eets
freelygoingtoschoolfreely,
seeingtheir
boy f
riendsfr
eelynotfear i
ngthattheyarebeing
foll
owedbyt heghost szikabababo.

Ay
anda:
heywenabhabha,
nobabyofmi
nei
s
goi
ngt
ohav
eaboy
fri
end.
Me: hayibodaddy,embr
aceyoursel
fbecause
whent heyare19,t
heywi
llcomeandsaydaddy
myboy fri
endaskedmetomar r
yhim andIsai
d
yes.
Ayanda:
Iwill
blowthewholeCapet
own,
andi
namtanaazodl
alwangal
amakhwenkweat
19.
Me:
ohh!
!Howol
dIwaswheny
oupr
oposed?
Ay
anda:
hay
imaar
nbhabha,
itsnott
hesame.
Me:expl
aintomet hen,
doyouthi
nkmyf
ather
washappytoletgooffmeat19?
Ay
anda:
casbendi
ngazodl
alangawebhabha
Me:hmm, let
'swai
tandsee,Iwil
lbehere
whenyourdaught
ersbet
hidaddypleasecl
ose
t
hedooronourwayoutbabebeout er.
Ayanda:
heywenabhabhazaziint
ozodl
ala,
andi
namtanauzot
handanaatt
heageof19,
ndawubul
alai
nja.

Il
aughedhar
d,t
heywayAy
andabekaser
ious
ngakhona

Ay
anda:
let
'sdr
opt
hisbhabha,
yandi
caphuki
sa.
Me:
okndi
kuy
eki
l
ekeMt
ungwa.
Ayanda:comegi v
edaddysomel
ove,y
ouhave
real
l
ytraumat
izedmeIneedsomel
ovether
apy
.

Il
augheduncont
rol
l
abl
e.Ayandat
hough.We
ki
ssednoMtungwaandsl
ept.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Dayswentby
, Ay
andadevel
opedumkhubana
wobuyal
ate,normal
l
yIcomehomear ound5
andhewoul dcomehomeaf tersi
xkanti
bendibuyasekekhonaokoifhedidn'
tpickme,
yenzekelont
of oraweek,hewasact i
ngreal
ly
str
ange,Idon'tknowhowt odescri
beitbut
somet hi
ngwasnotr i
ght.

ItwasMonday ,i
twasmyl astweekf or
i
nser vi
cet rai
ningev enthoughIenjoyedworking
butIwasr eall
ytired,wakingupat5:30,wasnot
achi l
d'
spl ay.IappliedformyBTechatCput
andIwasaccept edbutIdeci dedtodoitpar
t
timewhi chmeansIwasgoi ngtodoitforov
era
periodoft woy earsinsteadofoney ear
, I
decidedt ocont i
nuewor king,nott
hatIneeded
moneysoIappl i
edi nthesamecompanyIwas
doingmyi nservi
cet rai
ningkuyofora
permanentpost .

Ial
soappl
i
edatUni
saf
orbot
hofus(meand
Ayanda)forPublicManagement ,notthatI
wanteditbutIwant edtosupportAyanda,I
wantedhimt ocompl etehisdegr
ee, Iwasso
cr
ossingmyf ingersthat'
swegetaccept ed.

Itwasmyl uncht i
me, soIdeci dedt ogot othe
cafeteri
aandhadl unchsi nceIdidn' thav ea
l
unchbox.Ior dered,whi l
eIwaswai ti
ngf ormy
order, myfonebeeped, i
twasanMMSIopened
i
t, Ijustburstinlaughteritwasaf otoofme,
thedaywewer eint ablemount ai
nnoAy anda,
thedayy esqui rr
el,whenIf ell
t r
yingt or unaway
from thesqui r
rel
, mymout hwaswi deopenand
myey eswer eallout, God,i
twasr eall
ynota
pictureyouwoul dl ovetobeseenbyot her
parties:-
)

Therewasamessageoni
t"i
fyouseethiscut
e,
beauti
ful
baby,
I'
m sur
ewher
eeversheisher
cheeksaresor
edcassheisl
aughing,t
ell
her
,
herhusbandmi
ssesherandy
amt handa.

God,
Ayandat
hough,
Iwascry
ingkuhl
ekabar
e
i
nmindIwassit
ti
ngal
one.

Voi
ce:
hi
Me:
hi(Iwasst
il
ll
ooki
ngdown)
Voi
ce:
doy
oumi
ndi
fIj
oiny
ou?

Ikeptquit
e,Iwastypi
ngamessagebackto
Ayanda,"tel
lthi
shandsomemanwhosentthi
s
messaget hathi
swifesay
sthankyouandt
hat
shemissesandl ov
ehimtoo"Isenti
t.

Voicecl
earedhi
sthr
oat,
God,howcanIbeso
rude,If
orgott
herewasaper
sonbecel
euhl
ala
nami
.

Me:
ohhhI
'
m sor
..
..
.

Ili
ft
edmyhead, t
ellmeI'm notdr
eaming,
yhoooIneversawt hatbeautybef
ore,thi
sguy,
washeaheorashe?Musowascut e,
Ayanda
wasbot hcuteandhandsomeenopl uswebody,
butthi
sguywasout st
anding,hewasnotli
ghti
n
complexi
onneitherdark.

Guy
: hi
,(hi
sint
onat
ionwasoutoft
hisworl
dhe
smi
led,wasthi
sguytr
yingt
okil
lmewithhi
s
smi
le?)

Eversi
nceImetMusoInev erl
ookonother
guysinthatwayunt
ilIbr
okeupwit
hhim and
metAy anda,wi
thhi
mi twasli
kemyeyeswent
deadkobhuti
,itwasonl
ymyAy anda,
myher
o
unti
lthatday
.Iwasdrool
ing.
Guy:hi(It
ookatissueandpuf
fedmyey
e
bezi
senezi
nyembezi
)

Hecamet
omeandst
ret
chedhi
shand

Guy:
I'
m Mel
i
khay
aMt
i
Me: (Istoodup)Sinenhl
anhlaRhadebe,my
wordIevenf or
gotIwasKhumal onow.He
ki
ssedthebackofmyhand, hi
seyesdidn'
t
l
eaveme.Wedi dn'
tletgo,hishandwasso
warm, Ididn'
twannaletgo,butwefinal
lywe
di
dandsatdown.

Mel
i
khay
a:ar
eyouwai
ti
ngf
orsomeone?
Me:
no,
I'
mjustwai
ti
ngf
ormyor
der
Mel
i
khay
a:whatdi
dyouor
der?

It
oldhi
m.

Mel
i
khay
a:somuchf
ood:
-\

Ismi
l
edshy
ly:
-!

Mel
i
khay
a:Iwi
l
lhav
ewhaty
ouor
der
edt
hen

Ishr
uggedmyshoulder
,herai
sedhi
shandt
he
wait
ercameandtookhisor
der.

Meli
khay
a:soMi
ssRhadebe,
whatbr
ingsy
ou
her
e?
Me:
I'
m wor
kingher
e
Mel
i
khay
a:wor
kingher
e??
?
Me:
yes
Mel
i
khay
a:y
ouar
ejoki
ng
Me:
I'
m not
Mel
i
khay
a:howol
dar
eyou?
?
Me:
oldenought
owor
kher
e
Mel
ikhay
a:whaww,Ithoughtthatyouwere
wai
ti
ngfory
ourfat
herorbrother.I
'
m sor
ry

Ismi
l
ed

Meli
khay
a:sohowl
onghav
eyoubeenwor
king
her
e?
Me: Istar
tedthi
syearJanuar
y, bythewayI'
m
onlyhereformyinser
vicet
rai
ning,Iam a
studentfr
om CPUTandt hi
sismyl astweek.
Mel
i
khay
a:mybad,
I'
m al
sonewher
e,t
hisi
s
mysecondweekher e,I
'
m st i
l
ltryi
ngto
famil
iari
zemy sel
fwi
ththispl
ace.Ihavebeen
spendingal
lthedaysi
nt heoffi
ce.
Me:
ohh!
!Youar
e't
heee'
MrMt
i
Meli
khay
a:'
thee?
'MrMt
i?Her
aisedhi
s
ey
ebrow.
Me: yes,Ihavehear
dthatther
eisanewAD,
andhissurnameisMti,
Ididn'
tknowi
ncane
kanj
e.Ithoughti
twasanoldman.

Meli
khaya:
hel aughed,
,
,,
,
,youar
ever
yfunny
andfort
herecordI'
m ol
d.
Me:
ok,
Ismi
l
ed.

Hestar
edatme, whi
chmademeso
uncomfor
tabl
e.
Me:
whati
sit?
Mel
i
khay
a:not
hing.
Me: youknowit
srudetostareatpeopl
e,mor
e
especial
l
yify
oudon'tknowthem.
Meli
khaya: I
'm sor
rybutIcan'
thel
pit
.Youare
beaut
iful
,youreyes,t
hewayy ousmil
e,Iso
wishIcanlookaty oufor
ever.

Il
ookeddown.

Mel
i
khay a:
sosinceI
'
m newher
e,wi
l
lyoushow
mearoundsometi
me.
Me:
I'
m sur
eyouar
efami
l
iarnow
Mel
ikhay
a:yesher
eI'
m get
ti
ngt
her
ebutnot
wi
thCapeTownasacity
.
Me:
thatwi
l
lbei
mpossi
ble
Mel
i
khay
a:not
hingi
simpossi
ble
Me:tr
ustmewhenIsayso,i
fyoudon'
tknow
CapeTown,
wher
eareyoufr
om?

Melikhaya: (hesmi led,yhool obhutibengathi

uhali
selami nangesmi l
esakhe)wel lori
ginall
y
I'
mf rom MountAy liffi
nEast ernCapei nthe
smal ll
ocationcal l
edEmaxesi beni(well I
couldn'
thel pitbutl aughedwhenhe
pronouncedE- Max esibeni)butwemov edt o
CenturioninGaut eng, t
henIgotaschol arshi
p
andwentt ost udyinGer manyt hr
ough,St udent
exchangepr ogram, sof r
om gr ade8,Istudied
thereti
llIcamebackbegi nningoft hisyear.
Me: whaw,y
oushoul
dteachmeGer
man,
Ionl
y
know4words
Mel
i
khay
a:whi
char
e
Me:
ciao,
Sal
i,Mer
ciandHasi
Mel
i
khay
a:notbad,
I'
mimpr
essed
Ourfoodcameandweat e,
thewai
tercame
wit
hthebil
lsandItookmoneyf
rom mywall
et
t
opayf ormybil
l.

Mel
i
khay
a:no,
Igott
his
Me:
no,
itsok
Mel
i
khay
a:pl
ease,
Iinsi
st
Me:
ok,
thanky
ou

Hesettl
edthebil
l
sandIwentbacktowork,
at
4:30,Iwal
kedint
omycar,whil
eIwassti
l
l
walki
ngIheardsomeonerunni
ngaf
terme,i
t
wasthesameguyMel i
khaya

Mel
i
khay
a:goi
nghomeal
ready?
Me:
yes
Wereachedt
omycarandheopenedt
hedoor
f
orme

Me:
thanky
ou
Mel
i
khay
a:canIgetahugt
hen?

Ihesi
tat
ed

Mel
i
khay
a:pl
ease

Ihuggedhi m, Godhi sscent,Iwantedtoholdon

tohimf or
ev er,hehuggedmet i
ght,hedidn'
tlet
go,Iclearedmyt hroat.Heletgo,oureyes
l
ocked, Ij
ustlookeddown, Icouldn'
tlethi
m
l
ookintomyey es,t
heywer ef ai
l
ingmeal r
eady.
Mel
i
khay
a:canIhav
eyournumberpl
ease?
Me:
no
Meli
khay
a:pl
ease,Iwon'
tabusei
t,wear
e
col
l
eaguesaf
teral
l

Igav
ehi
m andgoti
nmycar
.

Mel
i
khay
a:I
chbi
nver
li
ebti
ndi
chmei
nschat
z
Me:
andt
hati
s
Mel
i
khay
a:I
'
minl
ovewi
thy
ousweet
ie
Me:
pleaseMel
i
khay
a,ci
ao
Mel
i
khay
a:bi
sbal
d,(seey
ousoon)hewi
nked.

Idrovehome, whenIgothomemyhusbandj ust

fi
nishedcooking,bekunukakamnandi,
hehad
hi
sapr on,Iwentstrai
ghtintomyhusband,I
ki
ssedhi m sohungril
y,Ididn'
tknowwhatgot
i
ntome,Ijustkissedhi m,Iwantedmyman, he
l
if
tedmeintot hekitchencount
erandkissed
me,It
ookof fhisapr on,hi
sshir
t,Iwasundoi
ng
hi
sbeltwhenhest oppedme.

Ay
anda:
bhabhawhati
swr
ong?
Me:
pleaseYanda,
Ineedy
ou
Ay
anda:
lookatmebhabha,
whati
swr
ong?

Ij
ustcoul
dn'
tl
ookathi
m

Ay
anda:
whati
shi
snamebhabha?
Me:
(Ir
aisedmyey
ebr
ow)hmhmm?
???
Ayanda:theguyt
hatmadey
oufeel
theway
youarenowanddon'tl
i
etome
Me:
isi
twr
ongt
omi
ssmyhusband?
Ay
anda:
Iwasn'
tbor
nyest
erdaybhabha,
whoi
s
he?

Iswal
l
owedhar
d.

Ay
anda:
bhabha!
!

Ijustcl
osedmyey es.Myfonebeeped,
itwas
ansms, Ayandatookitandreadt
hesms.He
thengavemet hefone.

"Withtr
uelove,i
tsli
keseeingghost
s,everyone
tal
ksaboutitbutfewhaveeverseenit
.Ilove
youSube(sweet i
e)andthankyouforagreeing
tohavelunchwithme,,
,,
,

Ayanda:I
nganat
hi!
!Howcouldyou?whatisi
t
thatI
'
m notdoi
ngforyou?,
am Inotgood
enoughf
ory
ou?wher
eam II
acki
ngbhabha?
Me: pl
easebhabha,
itsnotwhaty
out
hinki
tis,
pl
easebeli
eveme

Hebentdownandpickedhisshi
rt
,Igotofft
he
count
erandwentt
oAy anda,It
ri
edtoholdhis
hand,
hebrushedi
toff,
hetookhiscarkeysand
hi
sfone.

Me:Yandapl
ease,
(tear
swer
est
reami
ngdown
mycheeks)
Ay
anda:
fokofI
nganat
hi,
ndi
yeke!
!!
!!
!
Me:
pleaseYanda
Ayanda:Inganat
hi,
Ihavemadeapr omisethatI
wil
lneverli
ftmyhandonyou,Imeantit,but
ri
ghtnow,Ifeell
i
kepunchi
ngy ouandIrefuse
todothatinst
eadofdoi
ngthatIngaIchooseto
walkawaycasIloveyousomucht oseey ou
cryi
ngbecauseofme, don'tmakemedo
somet hi
ngIwil
lregr
et.Letgo!
!wewal
ked
towardsthedoorandleft
.

Lor
dwhathav
eIdone?
?:'
(:'
(:'
(

I
ngakaYanda.
;
-)
[
08/18,
23:33]Mca:Senami
leSaphoMzobeand
NondumisoNdumieBukhosi
ni,
Idedi
catet
his
I
NSERTt oyoumybhabhas.Il
oveyoutobi
ts.

I
NSERT120

God, Ir
eall
ydidn'
tknowwhatt odo,Iheard
Ayanda'scarleav
ing.Ijustcri
ed,whatreal
lygot
i
ntome, whydidIactsoi rr
esponsi
bleandso
i
nconsiderate?It
ri
edt ocallYandabutitwent
st
raightonv oi
cemail.
Ayandahadhi sfl
awsbuthewast r
yingsohar
d
shamei nganekaLomzi andher
eIwasact i
ng
l
ikea13y earoldhighschoolgi
rlebanjwey
i
crush,
thatr eal
lypainedme.

Ihavethislov
ing,cari
ngandsuppor t
ingman,
whowi ll
stopfrom nothi
ngtomakesur eIwas
happybuthereIwasf l
ir
ti
ng,
yesIdidn'tcheat
onAy andabutndehlukekanj
ani kumtuwho
cheat
edcasmyey esandheartdid.

JustthethoughtofthinkingwhatAy andawas
goingthroughki
ll
edme, Ithoughtoft hedays
whereMusousedt osay"Pr i
ncessi t
snotwhat
youthinkiti
s"howIf elt,
Ithoughthowdi f
fi
cult
i
twast ot r
usthi
m agai n,yes,Isti
lll
ovedMuso
thenbutIdidn'
ttr
usthi m atall,t
hisisexactl
y
whatIwasdoi ngtoAy anda.
Isl
owlywentupst
air
s,Iwantedt
ochangemy
heel
sandworecomf or
tabl
eshoes.

Igoti
nandtookof fmyshoes,somet
hing
drawnmyattent
ion,Iwentcl
osertot
hebed,i
t
wasanoteandasi ngl
eredroseontopthenot
e.

"Gotoyourcl
oset,
there'
sasui
tcov
er
uzay
ifumanaopenit"

Iopenedthesuitcov
er,t
herewasal ongbaby
bl
uelil
acdresswithli
nesli
tonthesideand
openback,abluenil
enecklaceandearr
ings
andaboxofnudeheel s,
t
her
ewasanot
eandar
oseoni
ttoo.
"
Theseareforyoubhabha,t
akeashowerwore
t
hem wheny ouar
edoney ouwil
lmeetmein
t
henurser
y"

Iwentt ot henur sery,Ifoundabi gpor trait,

framedi twasnothangedy eti twasont opof
thebed, i
twasaf ot
oofus, wet ooki tfew
weeksaf terImetAy andai nBel lvi
l
le, itwasone
oft hefotoswet ooki nKi r
stenboschBot anical
gar densonourpi cnicday ,heaskedsome
random l adyway ezi
dl ul
elatot akeapi ctureof
us.Bengi gugileandwewer elooki ngateach
other ,
youwoul dswear ,wewer eacoupl e
already,itwassobeaut if
ul.Inev erbot hered
my selftol ookatal lthepictur esAy anda
nor mallytakescasIwoul dal sot akesome.I t
wasper sonalized"t hebegi nni ngofourj ourney
,
MYHAPPI NESS, myj oyandourl ives"
Ontopofi
tther
ewasanot
hernot
ewi
thar
ose
ofcour
se.

"
I'
m sorryy
outooksol
ong,
meetmeatt
hegy
m
r
oom, downst
air
s"

Funnythi
ngal
lthesenotewer
enothandwr it
ten
shameYandawentallthewaytomaket hi
s
possi
bleandr
omant i
cbutmnaIjustr
uined
ever
ythi
ng.:-
(:-
(

Iwentdownst ai
rsthentotheGy mroom ,
bengathi Iwascrazy,t
earsdidn'
tstop
streamingdownmycheeks, Idon'tnormallygo
tot hegymr oom onlyAyandadoes
nabobabomdal amabekhona, I
'
m sol azy
bathong, asIEnter
ed, Ismil
edapai nfulsmil
e
though, asyouent ert
heroom therewer etwo
bigphotos, f
ramedandhangedont hewal ljust
opposi t
et hedoor ,onewasmi ne, Iwasdanci ng,
whileIwasst il
l attendingmydancecl assesat
Cput, byt het imeAy andausedt ogoandwat ch
meaf t
ermycl assesatst udent scentr e,while
hewasst ay ingwi thmee-r esandaf terhewent
backt ohispl ace.Iwasonl y18, Iwaswear i
nga
shortpinkbal letdr ess, Iwasonmyt oes, funny
partitwasnott heor iginal fot othatwas
enlarged,itwasdr awnbuty ouwoul dnot ice
from thewor dgot hati twasme, Ihadwi ngs
though, andnextt oi twasAy anda'sf otoona
wheel chai randIwaski ssinghi scheeknay oit
wasdr awnandbesi bonakal a, Iwentcl oserand
touchedi t,itbr oughtbackt hememor ies,both
sadandgoodones.Ir emember edthedayt he
fotowast akenl ikey est erday ,itwast akenby
Msi r
a,wel efthomesi t
hi siyae-canal walk,
masi phumakwi parkingAy andast art
edwi thhis
tantrums, angaf unuhamba, heshout edbot hof
us, Ihadt ocal m hi m downandhedi d, i
twas
j
ustaf terhesai d"heywenabhabha
andi
yont
angakho"t
henIwentt
oki
sshi
scheek.

Ther
ewasanot eagai
n.I
twasont
heHy
per
ext
ensi
onbench.

"Inev ersawangel swi thmynakedey es,Idoubt

therei saper sonwhooncesawt hem andwho
willev erseet hem, soIdeci dedt ocreatemi ne,
andIgett oowni thencet hepi ctureyousee.
Youmi ghtthinkI'm cr azyMar hadebebutt rust
meIam, crazyinlov ewi thyou, Idecidedtoput
thesedr awingsher ecasInor mallycomeher e
whenI 'm angr y,
Ineedsomet hingt oremindme
whatanangel youar e, howy ouhav echanged
mef orbet ter,i
fitwasn' tforyou, Iwoul dsti
llbe
thehear tl
esshumanbei ngIusedt obe.I '
m not
sayingI '
m per f
ectbutI 'mt r
yingMar hadebeand
thanky ouf oryourpat ience.
Youareal
mostt
her
e,checkt
hest udyand
pl
easeWIPETHOSETEARS,Iknowy ouare
cr
ying,
IWANNASEEYOURSMI LE

Iwalkedi
ntot
hestudy,
myjawsdr
oppedtomy
feet
,MYGOD, thepl
acehadaromant
ic
atmospher
e.

Therewasat ablefortwo,itwassor omantic,

2
cryst
alglasses,2plates,napkins,i
thadelegant
rosesandscent edcandles.Therewasal soa
winebucketwi thiceblocks,ther
ewer et
wo
bottl
esinside,mygr apeti
serandYanda' r
ed
wine.

Hehadal r
eadydi
shedthef oodincasser
ole
di
shes.Iwenttoopenthem onebyone.Itwas
bakedsalmonwithri
ce,saunteedchi
cken(no
wonderthesmell
)andv egetabl
es,Ayandaya
excel
lainmakingsaunteedchicken,hemakes
i
tapoi nthebreadthechickenandmarinat
eiti
n
advanced.Heal sobakedmal vapuddi
ngfor
dessert,
andwebot hloveditserv
edwith
ult
ramel,besebakerumy eniwam.

Ther ewasasui tcov ert

hatwasont hecouch, I
wentt oopeni t,itwast hesui tYandawor eon
ourweddi ng,henev erwor ei taftertheweddi ng,
Icrieduncont roll
ableT_ T,reall
ywhatki ndofa
personwasI?Di dIdeser vet obecal l
edawi fe,
didIdeser veYanda, her
e,hewaspl anni ng
dinnerf orusandmi naIwasbusyf lirt
ingwi th
anot herman.Iwant edtot al
kt ohi m, Iwanted
onechancet ot ellhimt hatyesIwaswr ong,
may beIledMel ikhay aon, Iwant edt ot ellhimI
waswr ongf orgiv i
ngMel ikhay amynumber ,
thatIwaswr ongf ornotment ioningt hef act
thatIwasmar ri
ed, happilymar ri
ed.Iwant edt o
tell
hi mt hatIdon' tl
ov eMel i
khay aandIwi ll
neverlovehi
mt hati
twasj ustamomentof
fool
ishness,
Iwantedtotellhim Iwassorr
ybut
hisfonewasoff.Iwantedt ofone
oobabomdalaandaskedi fakekhokubonabut
howwasIgoi ngtoexplai
nt hatI'
mt heonewho
hadlunchwithanotherman.

Ther ewer etwodv d'sthatwer eonthetable,the

otheronewasourweddi ngdv d,Goditsbeen
mont hsal mostay earwebeenwai ti
ngf orit.
Ayandaoncesai d,"bhabhay ouknowt hese
peopl e,
theydon'tknowme, ngoDecemberI
willgoandbl owt heirasses, wepaidgood
moneyf orubasifumanesuchaser vi
ce"I
l
aughedbutbeny anisi
le,ony ourweddi
ngy ou
don'tgett owatcht hewhol eceremony ,youare
nervous, younotsur eifeverythi
ngwill
gor ight
i
nsteady ouarebeingwat ched.
SoIf
ir
stputtheotherone,Iwantedtoseewhat
wast
hereexactl
y,Iwenttositonthecouch,
I
l
etal
aughterouti
twasAy anda.

Ayanda: bhabha, don'

twor r
ywheny ouwat ch
thi
sIwillberightnexttoy ouwithaboxof
ti
ssues.(Hesmi l
ed)Iknowi tsnotour
anniv
ersaryneitheryourbi rt
hdaybutIjust
deci
dedt ospoil mywi f
e.Fi rstl
yMarhadebeI
wannasayI '
m sor ryforrobbingy ou,
yourteen
hoodndakwenzaumf aziumnci ncibutI
'm not
sorr
ythatndikwenzeumf aziwakwaKhumal o.
(Hesmi l
ed) .

Youhavebeenthroughalotbhabhalatel
y
becauseofmebuty ouaresti
l
l st
rongandyou
sti
ll
keepyourheadhigh.Youreal
lychange
l
entwanayakwaMt ungwabhabhaandt hank
you.IwantedtodothisonthegardenbutI
knewmybabyandf lowersdon' tmeet ,Ithought
ofaswi mmi ngpool againIknewmybabywas
notgoi ngt oconcentrat
eonwhatIpl annedcas
againmybhabhaandwat erdon'tmeet, sowi t
h
thehel pofVer a(ourweddi ngplanner), she
cameupwi ththeideaofst udy,it
sunusual t
o
hav ear omanticdinnerint hestudybutIl oved
theidea, rememberIwasbor ntoi mpress(I
l
aughedt hinki
ngoft hedaywewer egoi ngt o
Kirstenboschbot ani
cal gardensndi mxel ela
zangenday akhona).Idi dn'twantany thing
fancykal okundingowaseCof imv ababhabha,
azenziwaezi zint
osoIhadt oaskVer a

Ver
aappear
edont
hescr
een.

Ver
a:hel
l
owbhabha

Mf
xmm t
heset
wo.
Ayanda:Ichosel i
ghtbl uecasIwant edto
remindyouthatevent hepain,t
hehear taches
wewentt hr
ough,inashor tperiodoft i
memy
l
ov ehasn'
tchanged,myey esarest i
l
l
content
,myeyeshav en'twonderedar oundnot
evenasinglesecond.WhatIsawt hedayIsaw
youinlongstr
eetIstil
l seeiti
ny ou,whatIsaid
i
nourv owsImeanti t.Youar est i
l
l mynumber
onegal.

Iknowf orthefactthatyouknowIloveCel i
ne
Dionsomuch, yesIdobhabhabutonet hi
ng
youdon' tknowaboutmei st
hatI'
m alsoafan
ofShay neWar dandt her
eisnobettersongI
couldt hinkof,forthi
sev eni
ngthanhissong
Breathless.Youst i
l
l l
eavemebr eat
hless
Mar hadebe, pl
easel i
stentothi
shestarted
singing.OhhhYandawhenhesi ngs
I
fourl
ovewasaf
air
ytal
e.Iwoul
dchar
gei
nand
r
escueyou
Onayar
chtbaby,wewoul
dsai
ltoani
sland
wher
ewewillsayIdo.

Andi
fwehadbabiestheywoul
dlookl
i
key
ou.
It
dbesobeaut
if
uli
fthatcametr
ue
Youdon'
tev
enknowhowspeci
aly
ouar
e.

Youl
eav
emebr
eat
hless
Youar
eev
ery
thi
nggoodi
nmyl
i
fe
Youl
eav
emebr
eat
hless
Ist
il
lcan'
tbel
i
evet
haty
ouar
emi
ne.

Youj
ustwal
kedoutofoneofmydr
eams
Sobeaut
if
ul,
youar
eleav
ingmebr
eat
hless.

Andi
fyourl
ovewasast
orybook
Wewoul
dmeetont
hev
eryf
ir
stpage
Thelastchapt
erwoul
dbeabouthowt
hankf
ul
fort
helovewehavemade.

Andi
fwehadbabi
est
heywoul
dhav
eyourey
es.
Iwoul
dfal
ldeeperwat
chi
ngy
ougi
vel
i
fe
Youdon'
tev
enknowhowspeci
aly
ouar
e.

Youl
eav
emebr
eat
hless
Youar
eev
ery
thi
nggoodi
nmyl
i
fe
Youl
eav
emebr
eat
hless
Ist
il
lcan'
tbel
i
evet
haty
ouar
emi
ne
Youj
ustwal
kedoutofoneofmydr
eams
Sobeaut
if
ul,
yourl
eav
ingmebr
eat
hless

Youmusthav
ebeenSENTf
rom heav
ent
oear
th
TOCHANGEME
Youar
eli
keanANGEL
Thethingt
hatIf
eel
isst
rongert
hanl
ove,
bel
ieveme
Youar
esomet
hingspeci
al

Ionl
yhopet
hatIwi
l
lonedaydeser
vewhaty
ou
havegi
venme
Butal
lIcandoi
stot
ryev
ery
dayofmyl
i
fe.

Youl
eav
emebr
eat
hless
Youar
eev
ery
thi
nggoodi
nmyl
i
fe
Youl
eav
emebr
eat
hless
Ist
il
lcan'
tbel
i
evet
haty
ouar
emi
ne.

Youj
ustwal
kedoutofoneofmydr
eams
Sobeaut
if
ul,
youar
eleav
ingmebr
eat
hless

Youar
eev
ery
thi
nggoodi
nmyl
i
fe
Youl
eav
emebr
eat
hless
Ist
il
lcan'
tbel
i
evet
haty
ouar
emi
ne.

Youj
ustwal
kedoutofoneofmydr
eams
Sobeauti
ful
,youar
eleav
ingmebr
eat
hless,
br
eathl
ess.

TheZambesi r
ivertur
nedintoanAmazonri
ver,
thel
argestandlongestr
iveri
ntheworl
d.My
teacherusedt
osayi
tsabout4345mi
l
e.
T_TT_T:'
(

Ayanda:Ilov
ey ouMar hadebeandIwill
always
do,Iwil
lstopfrom not
hingtoseey ouhappy
andsmil
ing,(hesmi l
ed,atearescapedhisey
e,
hewipeditquickl
y)

Ayanda: yerrbhabhaundenzaweak,thi
ngsIdo
l
ately,
Inev erpi
cturedmysel
fkwezizi
nto,I
thoughtzazamagongo.IloveyouMashwabada.

It
hinkIplayedit50ti
mes,t
ear
sdi
dn'
tstop.I
di
dn'tr
ealizedi
twasearl
yhour
sofTuesday.I
wasdisturbedbythevoi
ce.

Ayanda:I
nganat
hi ,
whyungalal
anga,
arey
ou
awareyouar
ewor ki
ngnamhlanj
e?
Ikeptquit
eandwentt ohim Ikneel
eddownand
heldhishand,Ilookedathi
m.Hi seyeswere
swollenandsored.Whathav eIdone?:'
(:
-
(Yandadidn'
tdeservewhatIputhimt hr
ough,
hereall
ydidn'
t.

Me: Yandapleasemy
eni
wami
,l
etmeexpl
ain,
pl
easeMt ungwa

Hel
ookedatme.

Me:
pleaseYanda.
Ayanda:phakamasiy
olal
a,it
saft
er3(Ireal
l
y
di
dn'tcar
eevenifi
twasafter7,
allIwant
ed
wast omakethi
ngsri
ghtnoYanda)
Me:
letmef
ir
stexpl
ainYanda.
Ay
anda:
notnowI
nga
Me:
pleasebhabha
Ay
anda:
notnowI
nga,
let
'sgo.

Hewassocal m,Ayandaakabi khocalm, I

guessIreal
lydi
sappointedhi m somuch, he
heldmyhandandwewal kedupst ai
rs,
hesaton
thebed,Itookoffmycl othesandwor emypj s,
Iwenttohim,Iwashesi tati
ngbutIhadt o,I
tookoffhi
sshirt
,hi
sv estandundi dhisbelt
,he
didn'
tmove,helookedatmeasi fhewast r
ying
togetsomeanswer s.:-
(

Ay
anda:
thanky
ou

Hestoodupandt
ookof fhi
sjean,
hegoti
nbed,
Igoti
ntooandsl
eptduzenaye.
Ay
anda:
udl
angol
alaphoI
nga.

Imov
edandsl
eptont
opofhi
m.

Me:
Yanda,
canIexpl
ainbhabha?
Ayanda:
noInganotnow,sl
eepy
aphangel
a(he
ki
ssedmyforeheadandhel
dmeti
ght)Il
ove
you
Me: Ilov
ey out oomy eni
wami,
heswi t
chedoff
t
hesi delampandwesl ept,
wel
lIwasn'
t,I
wantedtoexpl aint
oYandaandapologizeand
t
hankhi mf orwhathehasdoneev ent
houghI
r
uinedev er
y t
hing.:
'
(:'
(

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
18,
23:
35]Mca:
INSERT121

At5:30myal ar
m wentoff,Iwantedtoscr eam
mylungsoutbutIhadt owakeup, Ionlyslept
for2hours.Isowishedtocall
foroffsickbutI
coul
dn'tIhadtobeongoodbookssi nceI
wantedtobeempl oyedther
epermanent ly
.I
keptquit
ebekunzi
manophakami sainhloko
i
bisi
nda.

Ay
anda:
bhabha

Ikeptqui
te

Ay
anda:
Inga
Me:
mhmm
Ay
anda:
vuka
Me:
kubuhl
ungubhabha
Ay
anda:
yini
ebuhl
ungu?
Me:
mywhol
ebodyi
ssor
eYanda
Ayanda:whatdidyouexpect
?y oucri
edalmost
thewhol
enite,
ulal
ef or2hoursonly
,lal
akeI
wil
lwakeyouupat6:30.
Me:
Iwi
l
lbel
ateYanda.
Ay
anda:
youwon'
tIwi
l
ltakey
out
owor
k.
Me:
thansbhabha

Hebrushedmyback,
Iwasn'
tl
yi
ngmywhol
e
bodywassore.

Me:
YandaI
'
m sor
ry
Ay
anda:
lal
aInga.
Isl
ept,i
ndeedhewokemeupat6: 30,wet ooka
showertogether,hehelpedmet opr eparef or
work.Inormall
ypreparemyst uffanitebef ore
butIcouldn'
tonthatnight.Iam veryslow
i
ndalo.It
sonly10t o15mi ntowor kiftherei s
tr
aff
ic20t o25mi nbutIwakeupat5: 30.
Heprepar
edmycl
othesandmademel
unch
box.

Iwasamess, myeyeswereswol l
en,Ihada
headache,
Iwasfev
erish,
Ihadr unnynoseandI
wassneezing,
whogetsfeverendofNov ember
?
ButIwas.

Wewer
edr
ivi
ngt
owor
k.

Yanda:
doy
out
hinki
tswi
set
ogot
owor
kunj
e?
Me:
Idon'
thav
eachoi
ceYandabuti
fIget
wor
se,
ngi
zocel
abangdedel
e.
Ay anda:Idon'tknowwhydidn'tyousleep
Inganathi
?usisli
makodwa, youknowy ouare
asthmat i
cforheavensakebutuhl el
iubusuku
bonkeendl i
nienetil
esnganxibanga.
Me:
howwasIt
osl
eepYan.
..
.
Yanda:
notnowI
nga

Ikeptqui
te.

Wegottowork,
Iki
ssedYandaIwasaboutt
o
getof
fwhenYandahel
dmyhand.

Ayanda:Iwil
ll
aydownmyhear t
,mybodyand
mysoulforyouInganat
hi,
Iwi
l
lholdoni
fthat
'
s
whatitt
akes.
Me:
I'
m sor
ryYanda
Ay
anda:
benosukuol
uhl
e
Me:
thanky
ou,
nakuwe.

Ifel
tsodown,Iwassonotlookingforwardto
seepeopl
emor eespeci
all
yMelikhaya,Iwant
ed
toavoi
dhimli
keaswi nefl
u.Igotin,wenttoput
mybagandwentt othekit
chen.Iwantedto
maketeaformyself
.Iwasst i
l
lsneezing.

Voi
ce:
ther
eisonl
yonecur
etot
hat

IturneditwasMel i
khaya,all
smi ley
, mfxmm, I
didn'tev
enknowhewasi nalready,si
ncehe
wasi nmanagementbebepar kakwi separat
e
parkingwhichwasr eser
v edformanagement
anywayIdi dn'
tevenknowhi scarcoul dn'
tcare
l
essany way .Hecamecl osertome.Ist ood
therekwanzimanomov er.Hel ookedatmeand
hehadawor
ryf
ace.

Mel
z:God,
Wasi
stl
os?(Whati
swr
ong?
)
Me:
I'
m OK,
Ithi
nkI
'
m comi
ngdownonf
lu
Mel
z:si
tIwi
l
lmakey
out
ea
Me:
noi
tschi
l
l
Mel
z:Ii
nsi
st(Ikeptonsneezi
ng,
mfxmm)
Me:
rooi
bospl
ease

Iwentt
ositdownandhemadet
eaandcamet
o
si
topposi
tekum.

Mel
z:whyar
eyouher
ethi
sear
ly?
Me:
Inor
mal
l
ycomet
hisear
lyev
ery
day

Ikeptonsneezi
ng,
Iwassonotget
ti
ngbet
ter
butwor
sei
nst
ead.Myey
eswer
esoi
tchy
.

Melz:that
'si
tI'
mtaki
ngy
out
othedoct
or,
you
notfi
ne
Me:
I'
mfi
ner
eal
l
y.
Melz: no,younot
,rememberI'
my ourboss(he
smiled)let'
sgoIwill
takeyoutothedoctor
thentoy ourpl
aceyouneedtorest.
Me:
doest
hatmeanI
'
m get
ti
ngadayof
fboss?
Me: yes,whatdoyoutakemef
or?amonst
er
boss,Icannotal
lowyoutowor
kwhi
ley
ouare
i
nthisstate.

It
ookoutmyf
oneandcal
l
edYanda

Ay
anda:
bhabha
Me:
pleasepi
ckmeup,
I'
m get
ti
ngwor
seand
mybosshasgi
venmeaper
missi
ont
ogohome.
Ay
anda:
I'
m comi
ngr
ightaway
Me:
thanx.

Idr
oppedt
hecal
l
.

Melz:honest
lyIdon'
tmindtaki
ngy
out
othe
doct
orit
stheleastIcando.
Me: nodon'
twor
rymyhusbandi
scomi
ng,
hei
s
goi
ngtotakeme.
Mel
z:husband?
?
Me:
yes
Mel
z:ar
eyoumar
ri
ed?
?
Me:
yesIam
Melz:
Isawt her
ing,t
hatbigrockonyourfi
nger
i
tshar
dtogounnot i
ced,butagainIt
hought
t
hatyoujustwantedtochaseguysaway.
Me: wel
lyouthoughtwr
ong,
I'
m mar
ri
edand
happi
lymarr
ied.
Mel
z:doy
oul
ovehi
m?
Me: wit
hall ofmyhear tandsoul.(I
twast ime
formet osett herecordsstrai
ghtwith
Melikhaya, Iwant edtomakehi m understand
thattherewi l
l neverbemeandhi minav ery
poli
tewayaf terallIwasgoingt oworkunder
hisDirectorate,ifIgetthepost,eveni
fIwasn't
mar r
ieditwasgoi ngtobewayoutofl i
net o
haveanaf f
airwi thmyboss.

Mel
z:butIcanf
eel
thechemi
str
ybet
weenus.
Me: t
herei
snoandther
ewi
l
lnev
erbea
chemist
rybet
weenusMrMt
i
Mel
z: Iwil
lnev
ergi
veupony
ouPr
inzessi
n
(Pr
incess)
Iwasst
art
ingt
ohat
eel
i
gamal
i
kaPr
incess.

Me: youar
ewasti
ngy
ourtime,Il
ovemy
husbandandonl
ymyhusband

Mel
z:i
nderl
i
ebeundI
m kr
iegi
stal
l
oser
laubt
Me:
andt
hati
s?
Mel
z:al
li
sfai
rinl
oveandwar
Me:
goodl
uckwi
tht
hat
Mel
z: t
rustme,Ialway
sgof
orwhatIwantand
ImakesureIgetit
.

Justaft
erthatmyf onerang,i
twasYanda,I
gavehimt hedir
ecti
ons,tr
ustmyhusbandke
wazalwanakoukuzet hemba,meninsui
tsand
ti
esdon'tscar
ehi m nograde12wakheke
phofu.Hewal kedinsekhabaimi
lenzey
akhe
nezigweqezakhe, fi
neasev er,heremindedme
thedayIf i
rstsawhi minlongst r
eet,t
hebeauty
andconf i
dence, hemademef alli
nlov
ewi t
h
him oncemor e,Ireal
izedthatdaythatIreal
ly
l
ov eYandaangi zenzi
.Istoodupbendi ncume
ninanil
ikea6y earoldebonaubabay o

Ay
anda:
bhabha
Me:heyYanda,
MrMtithi
sismyhusband
Ay
andaKhumalo,bhabhathi
sismybossMr
Mti

LordAy andacanber ude,

helookedatMel z
from toetoheadwithhiseyeshalfcl
osedand
thatmadeMel ikhay
asouncomf ortabl
e,hethen
stret
chedhishand

Mel
z:ni
cet
omeety
oumrKhumal
o
Ay
anda:
sur
e

GodIwantedtol
aughbutukut
himla
bekungi
bambel
eeduze,
hethenlookedatme.

Ay
anda:
bhabhal
et'
sgomf
azi
wam.
Mel
z:Iwi
l
lgoandgety
ourbag,

(
Itoldhi
m wherehewasgoi
ngtof
indi
the
walkedoutandcamebackwi
thmybag)

Ay
anda:
sur
e
Melz:youar
ewelcome,takey
ourt
imeMs
Rhadebeandgetwel
lsoon.
Ayanda:
MrsKhumal
o,(hesmi
l
edav
erycol
d
smil
e)
Mel
z:ofcour
se,
I'
m sor
ry.
Wewalkedtothepar
kingl
othewashol
dingmy
handandcar
ryi
ngmybag.

Ayanda: t
hatcheesyCi cadasbetterstayaway
fr
om y ouInganathi
ot herwiseyawuphambana
nenkwenkwezi abesisthunzela(ghost)sal
e
buil
ding.

IknewYanda, andatthatmoment,
itwasnota
goodti
met orespondotherwi
se
bendawuphambananempamakuqal a
bengi
samoshilephel
ami na.

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
18,
23:
35]Mca:
INSERT122
Ayandatookmet
othedoctor,
Iwasgiv
enan
i
nject
ionandwewenthome,Isl
epti
nst
ant
.

Iwokeup5hour slat
er,
Iguessmybodyr eally
neededthat,If
eltmuchbet t
er.Iwentt orinse
mymout handwentdownst ai
rs,Icouldn'
tfind
Ayandaintheloungeneitherinthekitchenbut
i
imotobezikhonazonke.Iwentt ochecki nthe
study
,hewast herewatchingIdv dyomshado
wethu,hehadt ear
sinhiseyes, hequickly
wipedthem offwhenhesawmeandpaused
thedvd.

Ay
anda:
usuv
uki
l
e?

Inodded

Ay
anda:
comesi
ther
e
Iwenttosi
tnextt
ohi
m andl
aidmyheadonhi
s
chest
.

Ay
anda:
howdoy
ouf
eel
?
Me:
muchbet
terYanda,
thanks
Ayanda:good,comelet
'sgouyodl
a,youmust
bestar
vingsobuyaandwatcht
hedv d.

Wewentt otheki t
chen, weateandwentback
tothest udy,wewat chedthedvd,i
twast ouchy
i
naway , i
tgotwor sewhenIhadt olistento
Yanda' svows, Icr
iedandshameumy eniwam
sof arbesast i
ckekuzoandher eIwasmna
almostr ui
nedmymar r
iage.Wewat cheditti
ll
theend.Wekeptqui t
ef orawhil
e,Iguesswe
bothhadourconv ersati
onsthatwer etaki
ng
placeupst ai
rs,Iwasstillr
est
ingmyheadonhi s
chest
.Het
henbr
oket
hesi
l
ence.

Ay
anda:
bhabha
Me:
Yanda
Ayanda:
whoi
stheguyt
hatmadey
ouhor
ny
i
zolo?

Ishift
eduncomfortabl
e,Itr
iedtomoveaway
from Ayandabutheheldmet ight
,howdoyou
tell
yourhusbandthatyouwer emadehornyby
anotherguyyoufir
stmet ?
:-
(

Ay
anda:
bhabha

I
twasnotaseasyasIt
houghti
twi
l
lbe.

Ay
anda:
don'
tmakemer
epeatmy
sel
f
I
nganat
hi.
Me:
Idon'
tl
ovehi
m Yandangi
khol
we
Ay
anda:
didIasky
out
hatI
nganat
hi?
Me:
nobhabha
Ay
anda:
phendul
ake
Me:
its,
,
,mhmm,
,
,bhabha
Ayanda:ndi
kukhabekemnaawukwazi
kut
hethangokuSimanye!
!
Me:
Idobhabha
Ay
anda:
thet
hake
Me:
itsMel
i
khay
abhabha

Ayandaclenchedmyhandpai nful
,hedidn'
tlet
go,Iwantedtotel
lhimt hathewashur ti
ngme
butIwasscared,itreall
yhurts,Iwastapping
myf ootonthefl
oor, hedidn'
tletgo,hhawu
phelaIwasnotast r
essbal l
,mycheeksst arted
ubashushuIknewAmazonr
iveri
biqal
i
le
uthel
elael
wande.

Me:
bhabha,
youar
ehur
ti
ngme
Ayanda:(hel etgoandmademef acehi
m,u-
Ayandamay enomsindoumbonaapha
emadlebenikuqalazonaubabomv
u)wheredi
d
youmeett hi
sMel i
khayaI
nga?

Ayandamadei tcleart
hathedoesn' tlikeMrMt i
myboss, howwashegoi ngt osayifhef inds
outthattheMt ihedidn'
tli
kei stheMel i
khaya
whobr oughtmehomehor ny.Iwantedt osayI
methim emal lbutthethoughtofMuso' ssaga
andIoncepr omi sedYandat hatIwillnev erl
i
e
again,
thatfor
cedmet otellnothi
ngbutt hetrut
h.
WithwhatMel ikhayasaidear l
i
eritwascl ear
thatYandawasgoi ngtofi
ndoutany way .Ihad
tobehonestwi thYanda, i
twasupt ohi m uba
howhewasgoingtohandl
eit
.It
ri
edt
omov
e
awayagai
nbuthehel
dme.

Ay
anda:
yaphi
?Phendul
a
Me: uMeli
khay
anguMr
,,
,mhmm bhabha
pl
easedon'
tmakemedothi
s.
Ayanda:I
nganathi
,tel
lmehei
snott
hatboy
youcal
lyourboss

Ikeptqui
te

Ay
anda:
no,
no,
no,
sayy
ouar
ejoki
ng.

Ikeptqui
test
il
l,
hepushedmeawayandst
ood
up.Il
ookeddown.

Ay
anda:
yer
rSi
many
e!!undi
del
i
sa
ngal
amakhwenkwe,di
dImakeami
stake
ngot
shat
aumt ana?
Me:
I'
m sor
ryYanda
Ayanda:nyor
i ny
orinyori
,yi
niendi
ngakwenzel
i
yonaSimanye?Itreatyouli
keQueen,Ihave
changedforyouufunani
?
Me:
ayi
khobhabha
Ay
anda:
doy
oul
ovehi
m?
Me: nobhabha, Idon'
tknowwhatgotintome,
honestl
yIdon'tl
ov ehi
m, Iwil
lnev
erdatemy
bossinfactIwil
lneverdateanyman
ngaphandlekwakho.

Hehel
dhisheadwit
hbothhi
shandsand
l
ookedup,
Iwenttohim

Ay
anda:
lookatmeI
nganat
hi,
doy
oul
ovehi
m?
Me:
Idon'
tbhabha,
ngi
khol
weMt
ungwa.
Ayanda:Iknewt
hisdaywi
llcomeInganat
hi,
butIdi
dn'
tknowli
zabakuf
utshanekanj
e.
Me:
Yandapl
ease.
Ayanda:Ineedsomeai
rbefor
e
NDIKUHLAFUNAngenqindi
Simany
e!
Me:pleaseYandal
et'
stal
kaboutt
his(Ihel
d
hi
shand)

Ay
anda:
letgoI
nganat
hi!
!!
Me:
nobhabha
Ayanda:
heyfokofSi
many
e!!
!Hl
ukananam!
!!
(Hewasreal
l
ypissed)

YesIwasscar edtodeat
h,Iwr
ongedAyanda,I
know,butIwasnotgoingtogi
vehimtheairhe
wanted,Idi
dizolo,
Iwassonotgoi
ngtodoi t
agai
n,weneededtot
alkaboutt
hissi
dlul
ekuyo,
i
twasreal
lyworki
ngonmei nt
oyongazinoba
hehasfor
giv
enmeornot .

Me: noYanda, youar enotgoi ngany where, we

wil
ltal
kaboutt hissidlulekuy o, yekel
a
ungi
balekelaIdon' tcar eev eni f
UYANGI GWI NYAorUYANGI HLAFUNA
ngenqindiasy ousai d,ifitwi l
lmakey oubet t
er
sobeitbuty ouar enotl eavingmeher ecr y
ing
myselfagain.Ihav ewr ongedy ou,fr
om the
bott
om ofmyhear tngi yaxolisa,Iam notpr oud
ofwhatIdi d,Ifeel di
rty,yesIbet rayedourl ove
Yanda, Ibetrayedy ou, I'
m notsay i
ngf or
give
mebutal lIneedi sf ory out otalktome.

Ayanda:IneedsomespaceI
nganathiy
ini
ungeva!
!I'
m noti
nast
atetobenexttoyouri
ght
now, I
'mleavi
ng.
Me: Youar
enotgoinganywhere,YOUWI LL
SITYOURASSDOWNSI THETHE(don' taskme
howdidImanagetosaythattoAyanda,Idon'
t
knownami ngi
zwesengi
shil
o,bengi
li
ndele
angi
hlaf
unengempamaket histi
me)

Hefl
oppedonthecouch,
waskewaphel
a
umuntuyi
nsi
ni.

Ayanda:I
ngadi dyouj
ustsayImustsitmyass
down?I'
m suchabadexampl ekodwa,(hehel
d
hi
sheadandl ookeddown)comeher e.

Iwenttohi
m andkneeledi
nfrontofhi
m
wangif
akaphakat
hikwemilenzeyakhe,
Ilooked
down,heli
ft
edmyf aceandcuppeditwithhis
hands.
Ayanda: usi
thathaphii
sibi
ndisot
hethekanje
nam Inganathi
,yazinotevenmybr other
sbake
bathethakanjenam, ul
igi
nsakazingoku?(He
wasst il
ll
aughing,well
Iwasnot )
Me:I
'm sor
rybhabha,
I'
m sorryMyeni
wam,
r
eal
l
yIdidn'
tmeant odi
srespecty
ouMt ungwa.
Ayanda: Iknowbhabha,
I'
m sorr
ynami ,
Itr
ust
youInganathithaty
ouwon'
tjeopar
dizeour
marri
agej ustpromi
semeyouwi l
lkeepyour
feel
i
ngsincheck.
Me:
Iwi
l
lbhabha,
Ipr
omi
se.
Ayanda:Iwon'tsurv
ivei fungandishi
ya
I
nganathi
,yesyouwi l
l betempt edungumtu
nawebutbestrongMar hadebenotf oryoubut
forl
ent
wanay akwaKhumal o, t
hedayy ouwill
l
eavemet hatwill
bet heendofuskul omhlaba
I
nganathi
,tr
ustmeandi funinoyif
ihl
aleyo.

Ichuckl
ed
Me:
yhoo,
youar
escar
ingme
Ayanda:
I'
m not
,doy
ousti
ll
rememberwhatI
sai
dwhenInamedourf
ir
stchi
l
dasSange
Me:Ido,yousai
dwewi l
lri
setosuper
ior
it
y
f
rom t
estanddif
fi
cul
ti
esoflif
e
Ayanda: hol
dont othatkeMarhadebe, Iknow
whenIsai dit
,itdidn'
thaveanymeani ngtoy ou
butasfrom nowy aziGodgaveusSangecashe
knewther ewil
l betestandt
empt at
ions
esi
zodibananazoandheknewwewi l
l r
iseto
superi
ori
ty.

Itol
dYandaevery
thi
ngfrom theminMrMt i
askedi
fhecouldjoi
nme, di
dn'tl
eavenendaba
yehugandhowdi dhegetholdofmynumber .

Ay
anda:
Idobel
i
evey
oubhabhabuthonest
ly
tel
lthatcheesyboyadl al
elekudenawe
otherwisezazisola.Iwasgoi ngtosor
thim
my sel
fbutmyhandsar etightcasheisyour
bossIdon' twannaembar rassedyoubutifhe
fuckswi t
hme, hewillcat
cht hefl
usoon
akuzuculwanamaguguphezukwakhe
kuzaculwaheshi tonTa-ki ll
er

Igi
ggl
ed

Ay
anda:
comeher
e(heki
ssedme)
Me:
tel
lmewher
ewer
eyoui
zol
o?
Ay
anda:
bengi
l
angaphandl
ekwegat
e
Me:
doi
ngwhat?
Ayanda:watchi
ngaftermywife,
doyout
hinkI
wasgoingtoletyousleepher
eal
one?
Me:youar
ecr
azy
,It
houghtt
hatuy
odakwa
agai
n.
Ayanda:never
,thelastt
imeIdidthatIended
upwithsomef l
oozegirl
whichIalmostslept
wit
h, Iwasnotgoingtorepeatt
hatagain.
Me:sofr
om bei
ngmychauf
feury
ouwentt
obe
mysecur
it
yguar
d,youar
eMralli
none.
Ay
anda:
heywenabhabhaandi
yont
angakho

Igi
ggl
ed

Ayanda:
onaser
iousnot
ebhabha,
your
eal
l
y
hurtmeyazi
.
Me:IknowMt ungwaandfrom t
hebottom of
myheartI
'
m sorry,
andthankyouforwhatyou
di
ditwasreal
l
yr omant
ic.
Ayanda: y
ouhadtorui
nitnoMt iwakhoaft
er
wewor kedsohar
dnoVer a,youknowshehad
tosqueezemeafterwor
kcasi twasshort
noti
cethat'
swhybengi
buyalate.
Me:I
'
m sor
rybhabhagenui
nebuthei
snotmy
Mt
i
Ay
anda:
hei
s

Isul
ked

Ay
anda:
ndi
kuf
akei
mpamakemna

Isul
kedagai
n

Ayanda:y
errI
nganathi
,sor
ryke.Nguwe
owrongomaar
amel ekuxol
i
semna.

Igi
ggl
ed.

>>>>>>>>>>>>
Dayswentby ,Itri
edmyl ev el
bestt oavoi
dMr
Mtiatwor k,onFr iday(myl astdayatwor k)I
wasgiv enanenv elopbyt hesecr etar
y,i
twasa
l
etteri
nv iti
ngmef orani nterv
iewt hatwas
goi
ngt obehel dont he3rdofDecember, Iwas
hopingf orthebest .Isaidgoodby est oevery
oneIwor kedwi t
handYandapi ckedmeupand
wewentt oNet carehospi talforoursessi
on
wit
hourpsy chol ogi st,
whilewewer ewalking
downt hecor r
idorsomeonecal l
edmyname

Voi
ce:
Pri
ncess

Honest
ly,
Iwasstar
ti
ngt ohat
ethatname
peopl
ewhocall
mePr incessbr
ingnothi
ngbut
..
..
..
Il
ookedback

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
18,
23:
36]Mca:
INSERT123

Il
ookedback,
itwasLungi
sani
,myhear
tjust
sank.

Me:bhabhapleasekeepy
ourcool
,ngomuny
a
wodenganal
ouzay o,
hewil
lgoonabout
hi
mself.
Ayanda:
asi
yi
lakwekwewawuy
iint
roducer
kut
hikwaAce

Inodded

Lungi
sani
:Pr
incess
Me:
hi
Lungi
sani
:howar
eyoudoi
ng?
Me:
goodt
hansandy
ou?
Lungi
sani:
great
,soy
oudeci
dednott
ousemy
number.
Me: no,Idi
dn'tseeanyreasontofoney
ou
honest
ly.WhatwasIgoingt osay?
Lungi
sani:ouch(hehel
dhi
schestwi
thhi
s
hand)I'
m hurt
.

Lungi
sani wastooar rogantsi
sesehi ghschool
,
hewasf ullofhi
mself ,hewaswor senow t hat
hewaswor ki
ngnott hatbenginomonabut
bengii
rr
itatorbi
gtime.Hewast hatkindofa
guywhowi l
lshowthewor ldt
hathehasacar
anSUVone, asmar tphone, ohhl etmemakei t
PHONESandt hathehast hebestjob, hei
s
earni
ngTHATmuch.Mf xmmm.Ihat eaguy
othandaIshowoff
.Hewaswear
ingabl
ue
shortandawhit
emuscl
etopandpushi
ns.

Lungi
sani
:whatbr
ingsy
ouher
eMsf
reshet
?
Me:
Ijustwi
shy
oucoul
dst
opcal
l
ingmet
hat
Lungi
sani
:buty
ouwi
l
lal
way
sbeMsf
reshett
o
meMsRhadebe.
Me:
MrsKhumal
o(Igr
inned)
Lungi
sani:ohh,youdidgetmar
ri
ed,
Ithought
youarest
il
l engaged
Me:
no
Lungi
sani
:sowhatbr
ingsy
ouher
ecas
zi
ndawozethul
ezi
Me:
Irai
sedmyey
ebr
ow,
excuseme?
Lungi
sani:Imeanzi
ndawozet
hupeoplefr
om
Khayel
ishadon'
tnor
mall
ycomethi
sside
Me:
(Il
etasl
i
ghtsmi
l
e)ohh?
?Wear
ejust
her
etoseeapsy
chol
ogi
st.

Umuntumayesekur
ati
lewabonaufanel
weyi
ni
ubososumy
ekaabeyi
sli
maandafeelamkhul
u.

Lungi
sani
:apsy
chol
ogi
st?
?
Me:
yes,
ist
her
eanypr
obl
em?
Lungi
sani
:tr
oubl
einpar
adi
seal
ready?

'
Thischi
mpanzeei sstarti
ngtogetint
omy
nerv
es,Ican'tl
i
stentothiscrapanymore
bhabha'Ayandawhispered,Ipokedhim wi
th
myelbow.

Me:noLungi
sani,
evenifther
ewas,y
ouar
ethe
l
astper
sonIwil
ldi
scussthatwit
h.
Lungi
sani
:ifwawundi
vumi
l
engewungahambi
psy
chol
ogi
st
Me:Isee(Lor
dIwaspr
ayi
ngt
hatYandakeeps
hi
scool)
Lungisani:weshoul
dmeetsomet
imenoba
yi
dinnanyana.

Thisfooldoesn'tknowYanda,
umy eni
wam
shamewasal lquit
ebutamadl
ebewakhe
beseqalaubabov uandIknewbekuzainkat
hazo.

Ayanda:eksesani beforesenzukuny
akubaf azi
bethuzukeuthengenobay iVaseli
nePetr
oleum
j
ell
yugcobise(lot
ion)amadololambatshi
leyo
ngathi
li
petsane(baby '
shorse/baby'
sdonkey)
l
asebusika.(hesaidthate-socalm).

Lontoyay
ithethau-Ayandaint
oa-cal
m
kubengat
hi zangeasholut
hoyawushi
yeka
uhl
ekawedwa.

Il
ookedatLungi sani'sknees,Lordbezixwebe
manyani ,Icoul
dn'thelpitbutlaughedoutloud,
heal
sol ookedatt hem, hewassoembar rassed
,hedidn'tevensayhi sgoodby es.Heleftwith
hi
stai
l t
uckedbet weenhi slegs.ThePer v
ert!
!!

Me:
ouchYanda,
Iwasst
il
ll
aughi
ng
Ayanda:ayi
ndi
boni
mossl
akaka,
uci
ngel
a
ungubani
.
Me:
Ipet
sanel
asebusi
kapho,
tel
lmel
i
banj
ani
?
Ay
anda:
ndi
kukhabekeI
nga

Igi
ggl
ed

Wewal
kedt
othedoct
or'
sroom ,
DrAbr
ahams
waswai
ti
ngf
orus

Ay
anda:
goodaf
ter
noondoct
or
Doct
or:goodaf
ter
noonKhumal
os,
howar
eyou
doi
ng?
Ay
anda:
goodt
hansandy
oudoc?
Doc:
greatandy
ouMr
sKhumal
o?
Me:
I'
m gooddoct
hansandy
ou?
Doc:
can'
tcompl
ain,
pleaset
akeaseat

Wewentt
osi
tdown.

Idoapologi
zengeminiski
rt
.LOADSHEDDING
andI'
m sti
ll
atworkmybatter
yisaboutt
odie.
Will
chargeemotwenionmywayhome.Wi l
l
conti
nuelat
er
I
ngakaYanda.
;
-)
[
08/
18,
23:
37]Mca:
INSERT123.
..
..
..
..
.

Abr
ahams: ar
eyoureadytogobackt
othe
dar
kesthol
esofyourl
ives?
Us:
(chant
ed)y
esdoct
or
Abrahams: good, r
emembery ouneedtobe
honestasmuchasy oucan,agai
nasIsai d
befor
e,everyt
hingthatwillbesai
dher eis
confi
denti
al,y
ouar ebothpr ot
ectedbystri
ct
rul
esthatprohibi
tdiscussi
ngany thi
ngthat
goesoninthesesessi onswi t
hsomeoneel se.

Whatbroughty ouheret oconsel

li
ngi susually
thestar
tingpoint,whichmeansy ouar e
acknowledgi
ngt hatthereisaprobl
em andy ou
canstartworki
ngony ourprobl
emsr ightaway .
I'
m gl
ady oudidn'twaitfor9yearstheny ou
star
tt r
yingtomendwallst
hatarealr
eady
coll
apsing.RememberasIdidinourfir
st
sessionandIwi l
lst
il
ldoasourprocess
conti
nues, Iwi
l
lviewyourf
amil
yhistory.

Idon'tknowt hecauseofy oubei ngherebutas

wecont i
nueIwillbethej
udgeandIwi l
lneed
yourhel pbybeinghonestsot hatwecanf indit
andwor ktowardsolvi
ngthepr oblem athand.
Inmyexper i
encemostcoupl est hatIhavehad
sessionswi t
h,experi
encerelati
onship
probl
emssuchasr epet
it
iveargument s, f
eeling
dist
anceorempt i
nessinther elati
onship,feel
angry, r
esentf
ulandunhappyorl ackofinterest
i
nphy si
calatt
enti
onandl oss.

Somepeoplestar
tfeeli
ngbet
terri
ghtaway
aft
erj
ustf
ewsessi ons,f
orot
hersitt
akes
l
onger
,Iwon'tsayhowmanysessionsy ouar
e
goingtoneed,
itwil
ldependonyourprogress.
Thequesti
onsIwi l
lbeaski
ng,
youmi ghtfi
nd
them i
rr
it
ati
ngsomet i
mesbutyouneedt obear
withme.Am Iclear
.

Us:
yesdoc
Abr
ahams:
arey
our
eady
?
Us:
yesdoc

Iwassonotr eady,Iwasscar ed,Ihavebeen

throughal otbutImanagedt ohidemyf eel
ings
wel l
,Ipretendedt obef i
ne,thateveryt
hingwas
fi
newel l Iwasf arfr
om beingf i
ne.Imanaget o
hideallthepai nthroughmysmi lebutdeep
downIwasscr eami ngmyl ungsout .HereIwas
aboutt ot ell
theDoct orhowIf el
tinYandas
presence.
Abrahams: thi
sisacoupl
esessi
onbutf
ormy
fi
rstsessi
onsIwill
askyouquest
ions
separatel
y.

Us:
okdoc

Abrahams:
good,
Iwi
l
lst
artwi
thy
ouMr
s
Khumalo

Ichuckl
ed,
whyme?

Abr
ahams:
hav
eyouev
erseenapsy
chol
ogi
st
bef
ore?

Me:
nodoct
or

Abr
ahams:
arey
ouhav
ingpr
obl
ems
communi
cat
ingwi
thy
ourhusband?
Me:
itdependsdoct
or

Abrahams:whatdoy
oumeanwheny
ousayi
t
depends?
Me: wedot alkaboutevery
thi
ng,butwhenhei s
angryi
t sanot
herstory
,Ifi
nditverydi
ffi
cult
becauseallhedoesistoshout,shoutand
shout,soinorderf
ormet ocommuni catewith
hi
m properlyImustwaitforhi
mt ocalm down.

Abrahams:howdoyouf
eel
whenhei
sangr
y
andshout
ingyou?
Me: scar
edf
ormyli
fe,hetur
nsi
ntosomet
hing
Idon'
tknowwhenheisangry
.

Abrahams:
hav
eyout
ri
edt
otal
ktohi
m about
thi
s?
Me:
yesIdi
d

Abr
ahams:
and?
Me:hewil
lassur
emet hatitwon'
thappen
agai
nbutwhenheisangryhedoesitagai
n.

Abrahams: ar
eyoufeel
ingmisunder
stoodor
thatyourf
eeli
ngsdon'
tmatt
er?
Me:
notatal
ldoct
or.

Abr
ahams: doyouf
eel
thaty
ourhusbandno
l
ongerl
ovesyou?
Me:
(Ismi
l
ed)nonotal
l

Abrahams:doy
ouf
eel
li
key
ouar
enotcl
oseas
youusedtobe?
Me:
(Ismi
l
edagai
n)no,
notev
enonce,
wer
e
ar
est
il
li
nsepar
abl
e.

Abrahams:doy ousometi
mesav oi
dy our
husbandbecauseyouareafr
aidofstart
ingan
argument
?
Me: yes,moreespecial
l
ywhenheisangr
yor
st
ressedev er
yti
meIaskedhim whati
swrong,
hewoul dsay"nothi
ngbhabha"

Abr
ahams:
andwhatdoest
hatmakey
ouf
eel
?
Me:
lef
tout
,somet
imesst
upi
d

Abrahams: haveyout
ri
edt
ocommuni
cat
ethat
wit
hy ourhusband?
Me:
nodoct
or

Abr
ahams:
why?
Me:asIsai
davoi
dingtheissuemakes
ev
ery
thi
ngandever
y one'
sli
feeasy
.

Abrahams: soyoupref
ertopretendasi
f
every
thi
ngisfinewhereastheyarenotf
inej
ust
tospareyourhusband'
sfeel
ings.

Inodded

Abr
ahams: soyout
hinkt
hatsol
vest
he
pr
oblem athand
Me:
yesi
tdoes.

Abr
ahams: haveyoubeenbet
ray
edsomehow
orf
elthopel
ess.
Me: notevenonce,
butIf
eel
li
keIbet
ray
edmy
husband.
Abr
ahams:
inwhi
chway
?
Me: Ili
edtomyhusband,Ihel
pedanex-
boyfriendofmi newhowasinhospi
tal
and
visi
tedhi m,Il
iedtomyhusbandandsaidIwas
taki
ngaf ri
endofminetoKeni
lwort
h.

Abr
ahams:
whydi
dyoul
i
e?
Me:itsbecauseIknewhewasgoi
ngt
obe
angr
ywithmewhenIt el
lhi
m,well
hef
oundout
.

Abr
ahams:
howdi
dhef
eel
?
Me:
hewasbey
ondangr
yheev
ensl
appedme

Abr
ahams:
howdi
dyouf
eel
?
Me:If
eltl
i
keIdi
dn'
tdeser
veiteventhoughI
wast
heonewhowronghim buthehadnor i
te
t
osl
apme.

Abr
ahams:
didhedoi
tagai
n
Me: noitwasthefi
rstandt
helastt
imebutI
bet
rayedhim agai
nwhenIfl
irt
edwithmyboss
atwork.

Abr
ahams:
andhowdi
dhehandl
ethat
?
Me:hewashurtbuthet
ri
edhi
slev
elbestt
o
cont
rol
hist
emper.

Abr
ahams: sobesi
desyourhusband'
sanger
whatbr
oughtyouhere.
Me: not
hing,
I'
mjustgi
vi
ngmyhusband
support
.

Abr
ahams:
Iknowy
ouar
est
il
lyoung,
hav
eyou
t
houghtaboutst
art
ingy
ourownf
ami
l
y?

Ikeptqui
te

Abrahams:MrsKhumal
ohav
eyouev
ert
hought
ofhavingki
ds.

IsqueezedYanda'
shand

Abr
ahams:
MrsKhumal
o.

All
ofasuddenIfeltl
i
kepuking,
Irani
ntot
he
bathr
oom andpuke.Ayandawalkedi
n

Ay
anda:
bhabhaar
eyouok?
Inodded.

If
lushedt
het
oil
et,r
insedmymouthand
washedmyhands.Wewentback

Abr
aham:
MrsKhumal
oar
eyouok?
Me:
yes,
Iam Doc

Abr
ahams:
mustwecont
inue?
Me:
yesdoc
Abr
ahams:wewereont
heki
dsi
ssue,
you
hav
en'
tanswerme
Me:
I'
m notr
eadyt
otal
kabouti
t
Abrahams:whydoyouf
inditdi
ffi
cul
ttotalk
aboutki
ds?Youdi
dwell
withotherquest
ions.
Me:
I'
m notr
eadyt
otal
kabouti
t
Abrahams:tot
alkaboutwhat?Whati
sitt
hat
doesn'
thav
eaname?
Me: (
IlookedatYanda)don'
tmakemet al
k
aboutitbhabha,
pleaseMt
ungwaI'
m notst
rong
fort
his.

Abr
ahams: MrsKhumal
oyouneedt
otal
kto
me,I
'm her
etohel
pyounott
ohurty
ou.

Ist
art
edcr
ying:
'
(

Me: I
'm notr
eadytotal
kaboutki
ds(Iwas
cr
yinguncontr
oll
abl
e)T_T
Abrahams:
why
?Ist
her
eany
thi
ngwr
ongabout
ki
ds
Me:
Ihadmi
scar
ri
ages,
twooft
hem wi
thi
na
yearsot
alki
ngaboutki
dsj
ustr
emi
ndsmeof
whatIwentthr
ough.

Abrahams:miscar
ri
ages,
soweget t
ing
somewhere,
whichmeanst her
eisaprobl
em.

Abr
ahams:
whendi
dyoumi
scar
ry?
Me:t
hefi
rstonewasi
nApr
il
,thesecondone
wasi
nOct
ober

Abr
ahams:
howdi
dyouf
eel
.

Shehandedmeaboxoft
issues

Me: Ifel
tli
keIfai
ledmyki ds,Ifai
ledmy
husband,i
nawayIdoubt ed,Istil
ldoubtmy sel
f
aboutmyf emini
ty,Im st
il
laskingmy sel
flotof
questi
onsi
fIwas,andIam goodenoughtobe
cal
ledawif
e,If
eltgui
lt
ythatIdi
dn'
tli
stent
omy
husbandwhenhewarnedmeaboutZi masa.

Abr
ahams:
whoi
sZi
masa?

Me: myhusband'sex-gi
rlf
ri
end,shei
sthe
r
easonformyfir
stmiscar
ri
age,
shemademe
t
akemisoprost
olwit
houtmyknowl
edge

Abr
ahams:
ok,
youmaycont
inue.

Me: i
nawayIhav easenseofinadequacy,I
knowYandawantki dsandhereIam losing
them nowandagain.SomehowIf eelso
damage, whogetstohave2mi scarr
iagesin
l
essthanay earexceptf
orawomanwhohasa
l
oosewomb.If eelempty,Iwasstart
ingtobond
wi
thmyki
ds.Iwasangr
y,I
'
m st
il
langr
y.

Abr
ahams:
angr
yatwho?
Me: i
tdoesn'
tmatt
erdoc(Iwasst
il
lcr
ying
uncont
rol
labl
e)T_
T

Abr
ahams:wewil
ltal
kaboutt
hisMr
sKhumal
o,
whoarey
ouangr
yatexactl
y?

Me: I'
m madatmy selffortrusti
ngZimasaand
befr
iendedher,I
'
m angr ythatIcouldn'
tprot
ect
myki dsI'
mthemot her,Iwassupposet o
prot
ectthem butIfai
ledthem.I '
m angryatmy
husband,inawayIbl amehi m casthosepeopl
e
camei nt
omyl i
fethroughhi m

Abr
ahams:i
syourhusbandawar
ethaty
oual
so
bl
amehim?
Me:
noInev
ert
oldhi
m

Shewr
otesomet
hingonhernot
epad

Abr
ahams:
youmaycont
inueMr
sKhumal
o

Me: I
'm angr
yatZi masaf orki
l
li
ngmychi l
d,for
robbingmeachancet obeamot her.Ican't
evenwat chNickeloden, i
tsaconst
antr eminder
thatinay ear
stimeIwasgoi ngtowat chitwith
myki dsbutIcan't.I
'm afrai
dtobenextt okids,I
makei tapointthatIav oi
danyplacewher eI
willcomenearachi ld.

Abr
ahams:
whyi
sthat?
Me: Idon'
tknowbutever
yti
meIseeorwatch
anyt
hingthathasachi
l
dIjustcr
iedsomet
imes
wit
houtevenreali
zi
ngt
hatI'
m cr
ying.
Abr
ahams:
isy
ourhusbandawar
eoft
his?
Me: no,Idon'
twannabeYandasbur den,hehas
beenthereformeenough, Imakei tapointhe
doesn'
tseeme, hehasf eeli
ngtoohecan' tkeep
onnursingmine.IhavelosthiskidsI'
m afrai
d
thati
fIkeeponcr yi
nghei sgoingtoleaveme,
whenheaskedf orawi f
ehedi dn'
taskedf ora
crywif
e.

Abrahams:haveyouev
ertoldyourhusband
youareafr
aidofl
osi
nghim ory
out hi
nkheis
goi
ngt ol
eave?
Me: no,
Inevert
oldhim.IthoughtIwasst
rong
enoughtohi
demyf earsandIdidthatwel
l

Iwascr
yinguncont
rol
l
abl
eT_T.Idi
dn'
tknow
whyDrAbrahamshadtodi
gtheholes
besezi
val
eka.I
twasgoodf
ormet opr
etendas
i
feveryt
hingwasf
ineandi
tkeptmegoingnow
thi
stookmeback.

Yandat
ookmeandmademesi tonhi
slap,
it
real
l
yhurt
,Ibur
iedmyf
aceonhim.

Abrahams:t
hatwi
l
lbeallf
ortoday,
Mr
Khumaloist
her
eanyt
hingyouwannasayt
o
yourwif
e.

Ay
anda: bhabhaIwil
lnev
erl
eav
eyou
Marhadebe,Ipr
omise

Abrahams: ournextappoi
ntmentwasschedul
e
forthe17t
hJanbutIwoul dlovetoseeyounext
weekonTuesday .
Ay
anda:
nopr
obl
em Doc,
wewi
l
lbeher
e.
Me: Ihav
eaheadachebhabha(Iwasst
il
l
cr
ying):'
(

DrAbrahamsgavemepanado,
bekunzi
ma
novul
aamehlo.:
'
(

Ayandasai
dgoodby
es,
wangi
tet
atot
hepar
king
l
otandweleft

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
18,
23:
37]Mca:
INSERT124

Wedr ovehomeandgotoff,
Ijustfel
tso
drai
ned, t
heheadachewasgett
ingworse.
Yandacarriedmeinsi
det
hehouse.Itookoff
myclothesandwor emypj
s.Yandagaveme
pai
nkil
l
ersandIgotunderbl
anket
s.Ireal
l
y
di
dn'
twannathi
nkaboutwhathappenedearl
i
er,
Ij
ustwant
edtosleep.

>>>>>>>>>

Iwokeuparound7:30atl
eastIfel
tbetter
,I
ri
nsedmymout handwentdownstair
s.Yanda
wasintheki
tchencooki
ng.Iwenttositonthe
hi
ghchairi
nthekit
chen.Iwassohungr yand
hewasnotdonecookingyet.

Ay
anda:
bhabhaar
eyouok?

Inodded.

Me:
I'
m hungr
yYanda.
Ay
anda:
I'
m al
mostdonebhabha

Myst
omachgr
owl
ed

Ay
anda:
thathungr
y??

Ishr
uggedmyshoul
der
s.

Me:
don'
twor
ryIwi
l
leatcor
nfl
akes.

Yandamademecor nflakes,whenIsay
cornf
lakes,Imeancornf l
akeswi thoutmilk.
OhhhasIsai donmyf irstInsert,
y ouwill
getto
knowmebet t
erasthedi aryunfolds.Idon'tt
ake
col
dmi lkitmustbeboi l
edf i
rstotherwisemy
wholebodyget sswoll
en, Idon'teatcheese,
eggsandmay onnai
se.Idon'teatweet bixor
nutrif
icbiscuit
snotthatzonazi nento
ezi
y enzayobutwhenmadewi thboi l
edmi l
kziba
ngathi si
sdudusamabel eormor vi
te,I
conflakeszibanampu-nampu, Ijustcan'
t
swal l
owt hem mazinj
alo.Everyti
meIt rytoeat
cornflakeszikul
omeko, Ij
ustvomi t,Idon't
knowwhysi nceIwasachi l
ditsbeenl i
kethat
ti
ll
now, soIdot akeconflakesasi fI'
m eati
ng
peanut sorlayswhichmeanswi thoutmilk.

Ayandaknewwel lwhenIsaidIwi lleat

cornf
lakesImeantcor nfl
akeswi thoutmi lk,
wangithelel
ainabowl andIstar t
edeat ing.We
werechat ti
ngaboutrandom things, remember
nomat terhowmuchwewant edt ot al
kabout
whatwassai dearl
i
erinDrAbr aham' sroom, but
thatt
opicwasof fl
imi
ts.

Ay
anda:
bhabha
Me:
Yanda
Ayanda:whatist
his?(Hehandedme2
envel
ops,bot
hwereopened)

Ilookedatt
heenvelopesandsmi l
ed,theywer
e
from Uni
sa,Ist
art
edwi ththeonethatwas
addressedt
oYanda, IreaditandIJumpedand
rantoYandaandthrewmy selfkuye.

Ay
anda:
ndi
kukhabekeI
nga
Me:
u-r
ightYanda
Ay
anda:
Ihav
easkedy
ou,
whati
sthi
s?
Me:
youcanr
eadangi
thi
?
Ayanda:y
aphaphaI
nganat
hi,
didn'
tIsayI
'
m not
readyt
ogobacktoschool
?
Me:youar
ereadyYanda(Iwashol
dinghi
m
wi
thmyhandsaroundhi
swaist)
Ay
anda:
Iam notbhabha
Me:
youar
eYanda,
pleasesayy
es
Ayanda:no!!!Whydidn'
tyout
ellmeyou
appli
edforbothofuscasIsai
dtoyouIwil
l
thi
nkaboutitnott
hatIwil
ldoit
.
Me:pl
easemy
eni
wam,
youwi
l
lenj
oyi
ttr
ust
me.
Ay
anda:
noI
nga
Me:
doi
tformekeMt
ungwa
Ay
anda:
noI
nganat
hi!
!Andt
hat
'
sfi
nal
.
Me:hay
iYanday
ouarebei
ngunf
air
,howabout
t
heener
gyIwast
ed?
Ay
anda:
ener
gyy
ani
Inganat
hi?
Me: Iwastedmyt i
melookingforyour
cer
ti
ficat
e,mytimeapplyi
ngf oryouonl
ine,
wai
stedtimefaxingyourdocuments,wasted
i
nk,
youcan'
tsaynoYanda.
Ayanda:noInganat
hi,
Iwil
lgobackt
oschool
whenI'
mr eadynotnow.
Me:
wheny
ouar
e77
Ay
anda:
no,
let
'sdr
opt
hisnow.

Isul
ked.

Ay
anda:
thatwon'
twor
kbhabha,

Hetr
iedt
omov
eawayf
rom mebutIhel
dhi
m
t
it
e.

Isul
kedagai
n.

Ay
anda:
Yer
rInganat
hi.
Me:
yer
rnaweYanda.

Ay
anda:
ndi
kuf
akei
mpamakemna

Ikeptonsul
ki
ng

Ayanda:fi
neI
nganathi
!!Iwi
l
lgobackt
oschool
,
youaresuchabul
ly

Ist
oodonmyt
oesandki
ssedhi
sneck.

Me:
thanky
ouMt
ungwa
Ay
anda:
I'
m goi
ngt
oregr
ett
his
Me:
youwon'
ttr
ustme,
tel
lme,
bangi
that
hil
e?
Ay
anda:
zif
undel
e
Me:
funuv
angomy
eni
wami
Ay
anda:eweI
nganat
hi,
yer
rIr
egr
ett
hedayI
marr
iedy
ou
Me: I
'
m grat
eful
fort
hedayImar
ri
edy
ou,
Mr
Godzi
ll
a.
Ay
anda:
ndi
kukhabekebhabha(hesmi
l
ed)
Me: t
ryme, ndizakuvimba,worseIthoughtthat
wewillhav
esupperandhav edessertinthe
bedr
oom butnowt hatndi
zolal
andikhabiwe
hayi
kewewi llskipthedessertpar
t.

Ayanda:nobhabha! !Itakemywordsback, he
hadanaught ysmile,bhabhaIwil
ldoanything,I
meanany t
hingothi ndiy
enze,l
etusnotskipt he
desser
tpart,i
nfacthowaboutwest artwit
ht he
desser
tthenhav edinner .
Me:
noYanda,
Iwasj
oki
ng.

Ay
anda:
wai
ther
eI'
m comi
ng
Heranupstair
sandcamebackwi thar ai
ncoat
#winks#hecamet omeandst ar
tedkissing,
it
gothotandhotter,y
ouknowubhabhano
Yandawakhe, yeswediditi
nthekit
chen#
hi
des#wecl eanedandwenttowashourhands
i
nthebathroom andhedishedup,weat eand
wedidthedishestoget
her.Wetookashower
andgotinbed.

Guysgetti
ngmar r
iedisnochi
ld'
spl
ay,
one
mightt
hinkthatal
l t
hatgl
it
ter
sisdi
amondbut
t
rustmei t
snot.

Igotmar ri
edat19, ngi
ngazini
x,Iwasjusta
naïv
e,cluelessgi r
lfrom hi
ghschoolwhonev er
evenasi ngledayt houghtshewill
getmar r
ied
at19andmar riedtoanex-t hugandapl ayer
butunfortunatelyIwasmar ri
edtoone.
KuAyanda,l
i
fewasal laboutbeingtheboss,
bei
ngfear
edandr espectedi
sikolowasthelast
thi
ngonhismind.Ihadt oconvincehimtogo
backt
oschoolfor
t unat
elyhedid.

Ihadanotherassignmentt
ostartwi
th,
Iwas
rai
sedesontwenimakenomi stakemypar
ent
s
don'
tcompr omisengesonto.

WhenIgr ewup, IattendedSundayschool ,

at
16Ijoi
nedy outhat17ndanxi tywaIwasaf ull
memberoft hey outh.NeMar i
azellit
saRoman
Cathol
icschool,sothandaungat handiyouwere
obli
gedt ot
hechur chr ul
es.Yandaont heother
hand,i
sontowasj ustabui l
ding.Elasekhay
a
i
sontoliseBell
vil
leandBi shopLav is,Iwoul
dgo
someti
mes, butnowt hatIwasmar ri
edto
YandaIhadt oattendi sont
olekhaboYandabut
howdoIgot
her
eifumy
eni
wam angay
i.

Me:
bhabha
Ay
anda:
Vuy
olwam
Me:
whenl
astdi
dyougot
ochur
ch?
Ay
anda:
lastweekbhabha
Me:
hhawu?
?
Ayanda: Idr
oppedyouandpickedyouangi
thi
?I
di
dn'tdropyououtsi
dethegatebuti
nsi
dethe
gate,whichmeansIwasinchurch.
Me: mfxmm, y
oucrazyYanda,
I'
m bei
ng
ser
iousbhabhanj
alo.
Ay
anda:
okIwas14bhabha

Ichokedandst
art
edcoughi
ng.
Me:
youmustbej
oki
ng.
Ay
anda:I'
m notbhabha,
thatwasbef
oreIl
eft
Mcebi
si'
shome.
Me:
yhoYanda,
I'
m suchabadwi
fet
hen
Ayanda:no,
younotbhabha,
whywoul
dyou
saythat?
Me: hereIam goi
ngtochur
chnowandagai
n
butIleaveyoubehi
nd.
Ay
anda:
Iwoul
dn'
tgoany
way
Me:
youwi
l
lbhabha
Ay
anda:
say
swho?
Me: say
syourwi
fe,
wegoi
ngt
ochur
chon
Sunday
Ayanda:hay
i bhabha,Icanj
umpfr
om t
het op
ofthemountainforyoubutgoi
ngt
ochurch,no
bhabha.
Me:
I'
m notaski
ngy
oubhabhaI
'
mtel
l
ingy
ou.
Ayanda:
hay
ibhabhandi
yi
ndoda,
sut
het
ha
kanj
e.
Me: wear egoi
ngtochurchbhabhaSunday,
youwillj
ustvi
sitmychurchthenwewillt
akei
t
fr
om there.I'
m notsay
ingthatgotochur
ch
ever
ySundaybuty ouarenolonger13mele
uyi
leesontweni.
Ay
anda:
nobhabha,
notesont
weni
Me:youar
ewastingyourti
me,casIwon'
ttake
nof
orananswer(Iimit
atedhi
svoi
ce)

Ay
anda:
heywenabhabha.Het
ickl
edme

Me:
Yandapl
easebhabha
Ay
anda:
thandabul
l
yyam
Me:
thandaGodzi
l
lawami
Hemov
edf
rom meandsl
eptnextt
ome

Me:heywenabhabhal
alaphokakade,
come
sl
eepontopofmommy.

Ayandasi
sdengesendoda,
hemov
edandsl
ept
ontopofme

Me:
Yanda,
Yandi
sinda
Ay
anda:
funul
alakumama
Me:
youar
esuf
focat
ingmeAy
anda,
mov
e.

GodAy andalaughedatme,Iendedupl aughi

ng
nami,honestl
yIwasj oki
ng,
didn'
tknow
zogi
belaphezukwami .Howcanyout akea80
kgofflourandputitontopofatart
aricsachet
.
Ay
anda:
ndi
phenzasuka
Me:
yagul
a,mov
eYanda
Ayanda:pleasebhabha,
bonanj
euMt
ungwa
usefunauMarhadebewakhe.
Me:
yousi
ckmov
e.

Wecuddl edandtalkedaboutrandom t hings.

Foll
owi ngdaybabomdal a(Ndumi e)bef i
kahi s
fl
i
ghtwasgoi ngtolandat7: 15inthemor ning.
Wehad6day sleftthenwewer et ol
eav eto
EasternCape, fi
rstCof i
mvabat hentoMat ati
ele.
Ireall
ymi ssedhomegott othi
nkt helasttimeI
vi
sitedhomei twasont heweekIwasget ti
ng
mar ri
ed,inKokstadont he24thFebr uaryandi n
Mat ati
eleonthe27t hFebruar
y.Ireall
ymi ssed
home.

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
18,
23:
38]Mca:
INSERT125

FollowingdayAy andawentt ofetchbabomdal a

e-Ai r
port
,Iwokeupar ound8: 30madebedand
tookabat h,Igotdr essedandwentdownst air
s.
Ay anda,Msi r
a,War aandNdumi ewer ei
nthe
dininghavingbreakf ast.Ididn'
tev engreetoo
babomdal a.Iscreamedandwentt obabomdala
hest oodupandcamet ome.Ij umpedonhi m
andhespunmear ound.Ir eall
ylov ed
babomdal aninani, hisper sonal
itynjeyena.He
wasl ikeabloodbr othert ome, theway
bengiphathisangay oitwasoutoft hi
swor l
d.

Ndumi
e:y
ouar
ecr
azyl
astbor
n
Me:ngi
rit
e,howar
eyoudoi
ng?Howwasy
our
f
li
ght
?
Ndumie:
slowdownlastbor
n, onequest
ionata
t
ime.Wel
lI'
mfi
nethansandy ou?.
Me:
I'
m gr
eat
Ndumie:youl
ookgr
eatandbi
ttal
l
er,
compar
ed
t
olastti
meIsawyou,y
akhul
a
Me:ahhbabomdala,
itonl
y8mont
hs,
andby
t
hewaynextyearIwi
llbe21.
Ndumi
e:r
eal
l
y,y
akhul
alastbor
n.
Me:
thanky
ou

Mawande:Iwi
shIcanbeyouNdut
hina
asi
vuy
elwasomasi
bonwa.
Me:youknowIl
ovey
oual
langi
thi
?ngol
i
ngana
f
uthi
.
Mawande:
yout
ryi
ngt
omakeusf
eel
good
Me: noIdobabomdal
a,whatdi
dyoubr
ingme
babomdala?
Ndumi
e:not
hing
Me:
theny
ougoi
ngbackt
oTai
wan,
youwi
l
l
comebackwheny
ouhav
emygi
ft
.
Ndumi
e:i
nthatcaseI
'
mleav
ingt
oni
te.
Me:
youar
ehear
tl
ess,
Ihat
eyou
Ndumie:Il
ovey
oumor
elastbor
n
kababomdal
a

Isul
ked

Ndumi e:thatwon'twork,Ihavebeentr
ying
thesefewmont hsndi
kwaziulwayourbul
lism
andy oursulki
ness.

Isul
kedmor
eandmadeapuppyf
ace.

Ndumie:okyouwi
n,i
phezukukombhede.Yer
r
yousuchababy
Me:
(Iki
ssedhi
m onhi
scheek)Il
ovey
ou
babomdal
awam ombi
(Il
aughed)
Ndumie:
zaskeungay
ifumani
.(Hewas
l
aughi
ngtoo)
Me:phel
ather
e'sonl
yonehandsomeguyi
n
t
hisUni
ver
se.
War
a:t
hati
s?
Me:
myhusbandbabomdal
a,i
sitnotobv
ious?
Wara:
mostpeopl
esayI
'
m mor
ebeaut
if
ult
han
Ay
anda
Me:mostpeople,mnaIsayi
tsmyhusband
andt
hat
'sf
inal
.(Ipout
edmymouth)

Theyal
ll
aughedexceptAy
anda.

Peoplemightthi
nkI'm cr
azy
, whenIlove,Il
ove
minawithnobut sandIdotrustpeopleand
thatt
heywillt
reatmet hewayItreatthem.I
reall
ylovedoobabomdal abami boy i4theyway
theytreatedme, t
hewayt heysuppor tedme, the
wayt heyprotectedme.Iwasr eallythel ast
bornthegi r
ltheynev erhadki boev ent he
Mawande' ssagawaswat erundert hebr idge.I
grewupndi y
i daddy'
sgirl,
Itrust edmyf ather,
thatmademekwabal ulatot r
ustanyman.
Event houghIwasmar r
iedbutIdi dn'tsee
anythingwrongu-gugwangobabomdal aor
sit
ingont heirlapwhenwewer einCapet own
unlesswewer einCof i
mv aba.Iwas20guy s.
I'
m notsay i
ngt hatit
ssomet hingbengi li
li
sela
ngayobutIwasst i
ll
youngandIneededt oplay
somet imeswhenneededt oactl i
keawi f
et r
ust
mebengi baser i
ous.

Bobomdal
abesangi
gugi
l
e.
Ay
anda:
hli
kaaphoI
nganat
hindi
ngekakukhabi
.

Iknewmyhusbandbesev
ukel
wesi
sikhwel
e.

Ndumi
e:hl
i
kal
astbor
n
Me:
wongi
bekai
stul
eni
ke
Ndumie:
youar
esuchababy
.Heputmeont
he
chai
r.

Ay
anda:
bhabhacomesi
ther
e.

Iwenttositonhi
slap.Hehel
dmeengal
weni
wangiqi
nisa.

Ay
anda:
soy
ouhadt
oshi
tonme?(Hesai
d
t
hatwhi
sper
ing)

OnethingIhatengoAyandahewi
lldo
somethingabeancumeebusweni
andpeopl
e
woul
dn'tnoti
cethathi
sishur
ti
ngyou.

Me:
mhmmm?
Ayanda:
yikakay
ani
leuy
enzanoNduphambi
kwam.

Hedidn'
tl
etgobuti
treal
l
yhur
t,It
ri
edt
ost
and
upbuthehel
dmet i
te.

Me:
youar
ehur
ti
ngmeAy
anda
Ay
anda:
yamf
unau-
NduI
nganat
hi?

Iwasr
eal
l
yfumi
ng,
howcoul
dAy
andasayt
hat
,
Iwasmarr
iedtohim andheknewIl oveone
manonl
yhim.Evenf orthewor sescenar
ioI
woul
dn'
tdateu-Ndumi ehewaswayt oooldfor
meAyandabendishiy
ange7y earshowmuch
moreuNdumiecashei soldert hanMawande.I
st
oodupngenkani,Ij
ustlostappetit
e.

Ay
anda:
bhabhawher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
Me:
tohangmy
sel
f

Othersl
i
ftedt
hei
rheadsastheywerebusy
eati
ng,t
heydi
dn'
tevennot
icethatAyandawas
hurt
ingme.ThePer
vert
.

Ay
anda:
Inganat
hicomebackher
e
Me:
mfxmm.
Iranupstair
s.Icriedmyl ungsout
,Iwasr
eal
l
y,
real
lyti
redofAy anda, Ihadputupwithhi
s
bull
ism,hisinsecurit
ies,withhi
m hur
ti
ngme,I
couldn'
ttakeitany mor e.

YesIknewhel ov
edme, butleway ey
enzaIwas
si
ckandt i
redofi
t.Il
if
tedmyt opasexpectedI
hadgreenmarks,honest
lybehlukenganit
oan
abusi
vepersonu-Ayanda?

Ist
oodupandwentt omycl osetIt
ookmy
weekenderbagandst ar
tedpackingmystuf
f,I
wasnotl eavi
ngAy andaforgoodbutIneeded
someti
meawayf rom him, Ineededtobeal
one
hewasr eall
ystar
tingtosuffocateme.

Callmebor i
ngIdon'thav
ef r
iendsletal
onea
bestfr
iend,yesIhadZeebutev enthoughshe
wasmyf r
iend,shewasn'
tthatfri
endIwould
talktoandpouredmy sel
foutkuy e,Inev erhad
thatpersonIdealwi t
hmyt hingsmy self.Al
lI
hadwasYandaandTot iasmybestf r
iendsbut
funnyenoughbekunzi masomet i
mest ot el
l
them howIf eel
.I'
m notanout doorper sonI
l
ikemymet i
me,somet imescrowdj ustmake
mei nsaneandmostoft heti
meIpr efert obe
alone,soli
fewithmewas, aboutmybooks,
wor kandmeunt il
kuf i
kauYandai nmyl ifeand
nay eherespect
edt hat.

Weweretotal
l
ydiff
erent,
hewast
alkat
ive,
loud
andanoutdoorper
son.

Ndumiewalkedinwhil
eIwasst i
ll
packi
ng.Ijust
putt
hepill
owont opofthebagtohideit
,Idi
dn't
wantbabomdalatoaskmel otofquest
ions.

Ndumi
e:l
astbor
nwegoi
ngt
oCubanal
ati
no
cafehereinTablevi
ewtonit
et ocel
ebratemy
ret
urninSAf orgoodanddon'tsay"no
babomdalayoucango, Idon'
tfeell
ikegoing
out"(heimit
atedmyv oi
ce)y ouarealsogoing.

Me: nobabomdalayoucango,Idon'
tfeel
li
ke
goi
ngout,,,
,
,,
,mf
xmm.Iwon' tbegoodcompany
any
way .Iwasst
il
llooki
ngdown.

Hecamecl
osert
ome.

Ndumie:
lastbor
nwhati
sgoi
ngon?Andt
he
bag?

Ikeptquit
eIjustcont
inuedwit
hwhatIwas
doing.hehel
dmyar m andtri
edtost
opme
fr
om whatIwasdoi ng.
Ij
ustcr
iedhar
der
,Isatont
hebed.

Ndumi
e:wai
ther
eI'
m comi
ng.

Hecamebackwi thAy
anda.Ist
oodupand
cont
inuedpacki
ng.

Ay
anda:
bhabhawhati
sgoi
ngon?

Hesawt
hatIwaspacki
ngbengi
buzel
ani

Ayanda:
whatisthisSi
manye?Whyar
eyou
packi
ngyourcl
othes?Wher
eareyougoi
ng?

Ndumi e:cansomeonet el
lmewhati sgoingon
her
e, onemi nut
ey ouar
elaughinglastbor
n
wit
hinfewmi nutesyouarecry
ing,kwenzakal
ani
.
Ayanda!!!
!Whatdi
dyoudot
oSi
many
ewhi
l
e
ehl
elikuwe.

Ay
anda:
I'
m sor
rybhabha
Ndumi
e:sor
ryf
orwhat?

Hecamecl
osert
omet
hatmadememor
e
angr
ier
.

Me:
don'
ttouchmeAy
anda!
!!
Ay
anda:
yini
kant
ibhabha?
Me: ut
hiy
ini
,uthiy
ini
,ar
eyouforr
eal
lyAyanda
?Ihavebeenyourstr
essbal
lsi
nceImarr
ied
you,
whenwillt
hisend?

Ay
anda:
Idi
dn'
tmeant
ohur
tyou
Me:
andwhatdoy
oucal
lthi
s?Il
i
ftedmyt
op.
Ay
anda:
shi
t!
!!
Ndumie:GodAyanda,whendi
dthi
shappened,
whatisy
ourpr
oblem ?Whyisi
l
wanyanenj
e
Ayanda?

Ayanda:Ir
eal
l
ydidn'tmeant
ohur
tyoubhabha,
ngi
thembeMarhadebe.
Me: It
rustyouverymuchtoknowthatI
'
myour
st
ressballAyanda,i
fit
snoti
nmyarmsitsi
n
mythighs,bendigr
eenbothmyarms.

Ayanda:wher
ear
eyougoi
ngkengoku
Si
many e?
Me: I
'
m goi
ngtoKui
lsr
iver
,Iwi
l
lcomeback
Fr
idaymasi
hamba.
Ay
anda:
Ndu,
cany
ougi
veusumzuzu
Me:
no!
!Babomdal
aisgoi
ngnowher
eAy
anda
Ayanda:pl
easebhabha,
don'
tl
eav
eMar
hadebe
pl
ease,I
'
m sosorr
y.

Iconti
nuedpacking.MawandeandMsi ra
walkedin.Mfxmm ukeulil
euzeuphumene
mikhwinya.Iwasreal
lyheartbr
oken,It
hinkI
hadreachedat ur
ningpointofAyanda'
s
rudenessandinsecuri
ti
es.

Mawande:
whatisgoi
ngonher
e?Lastbor
n
whyar
eyoucr
ying?
Ndumie: i
fisn'
tyoubr
otherwhoel
se?Lookat
l
astbor
n'sarms.

Mawandecamet ome,
het
henwentt
oAy
anda
andpunchedhi
m,
Mawande:Iwarnedyouthati
fsheshedsnj
e
onet
earnzakunyi
sa.Uy
inj
aAyanda.

AyandamightbeGodzi
l
laandheart
lessbut
whenitcomestohi
sbrother
sherespectst
hem
Imeanrespectt
hem.

Ayanda:hayi
fokofMawandeI'
m notyour
punchi
ngbag.Dini
webobububhanxabakho
bendenzai
nkwenkweyakho.
Me:
u-Si
many
eyenashei
sangi
thi
?
Ay
anda:
Idi
dn'
tmeani
tli
ket
hat
Mawande:yay
ibonahowi
tfeel
stobesomeone
'
spunchi
ngbag.

Ididn'
tcarenobabembet
hekwaqhawukai khal
a.
AllIwantedtodowastogetoutofthathouse.
I'
m notsurenobagoi
ngtothepsychologi
stwas
agoodi deabutinawayi tmademendakwazi
tovoiceoutmyf eeli
ngsi
mmedi at
elyi
nsteadof
bott
li
ngt hi
ngsoutbutIli
kedtheIngabe
pret
endaasi falli
swell
,i
tmadeev ery
thi
ng
easyforeveryone.

IwasdoneItookmyweekenderbag,
mypurse,
carkeysandmyfoneandwalkedt
owardst
he
door.

Ayanda:
Ingaplease,don'
tl
eavemebhabha,
pl
easeMarhadebe.Ingayoupromisednott
o
l
eaveme, youpromisedbhabha,
,,
,
,,
.

Mawande: ungafundekeli
youar etheonewho
pushedInganat
hiaway .Ndizakuf
akaeli
nye
i
nqindimna.
HeheldmyhandIbrushedi
tandwal
kedout
.I
goti
nmycaranddroveoff.

Idon'tknowhowdi dIdriv
ef r
om Tablev iewto
Kuil
sriver
,Icri
edalltheway .Iopenedthegat e,
droveinandt ookmybagi n.Idon'
twannal i
eI
wasscar edofbeingi nahouseebi ngahlali
muntual one,butIdidn'
thaveachoi ce.Ihadt he
wholeday .Iswit
chedof fmyf one.Idecidedt o
takeanapIdozedof fimmedi atel
y.

Iwokeupar ound4.Iwashungr y
.Iwasabout
togotopicknpayi nkuil
sri
verwhenIhearda
hoot
eront hegate.Ipeekedonthewindow
mfxmm itwasMawande.Iwentt oopenit
.It
wasMsira, MawandeandNdumi e.

Me:
whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
Mawande:y
outhi
nkwewer egoi
ngt
olety
ou
cr
yyour
sel
fher
esikhona.
Me:
Ineedsomet
imeal
one.
Msira:wehav
egi
venyouti
meal
one,
its
enoughnow,y
ouneedus.
Ndumi
e:webr
oughty
ouf
ood.
Me:
thanky
ou

Msi
raandNdumi
edi
shedt
hef
ood.

Me:howisAyanda?Mfxmm her
eIwasaski
ng
howAyandawaskodwahewasther
easonI
movedout.
Msi
ra:
amessl
i
key
ou.
Ndumi
e:y
oumi
sshi
m al
ready

Inodded
Mawande:
hedoest
oookoezi
val
eleekamer
eni
.
Msi
ra:neversawTaAylacr
yingt
hatmuch,
he
r
eal
lyr
egretslast
bor
n.

Me: canwenott alkabouti tpl

ease,i
bindi
depressornjethatt opi
c.Myhear tr
eal
lywent
formyhusband, Ireall
ylovedAyandabutina
wayheneededt oknowt hatevenifIcannot
fi
ghthi m backbutheneededt otal
ktomeand
treatmengendl elaey i
yonobaenomsindo.

Ndumie: Icooked, weknewthere'

snof ood
hereandev enifbekukhonoyouwer enotgoi
ng
tocook.(Hesai dthatayohl
alaphansi
)
Me:
Iwasonmywayt
odogr
ocer
ies
Ndumie:
grocer
ies?Kant
ihowl
ongwi
l
lyoube
st
ayi
nghere?
Me:
longenoughbabomdal
a
Mawande: t
hat'
st hebiggestmi st
akeyouare
goi
ngtomake, IknowAy andangowasekhaya,
butheneedsyoulastbor n,Iknowithurt
sbut
youhavecomet hi
sf artoleavehim

Msira:heregretslast
born,f
orthewhol edayhe
wentont el
l
ingmehowhei sgratef
ultohav e
youinhisli
fe,howy ouhavechangedhi mf or
thebet
ter,howspeci alyouaretohim,howy ou
tamedhim.Heev entol
dmehej ustagreedto
gobackt oschool ngoJan

Ndumi
eandMawande:
(chant
ed)what
?
Ndumi
e:Ay
andai
sgoi
ngbackt
oschool
?

Inodded
Ndumie:howdidyoudoitwehavebeen
beggi
nghimforthepast5year
sanditt
ooky
ou
monthst
oconvincehim.
Me:
I'
m hi
swi
fer
emember
?
Ndumi
e:It
akemyhatof
ffory
ou.
Mawande:
her
eal
l
yneedsy
oubhabha
Ndumi
e:l
etAy
andahear
syousay
ingt
hat
Me:fokofMawandengumfazi
wam lowoand
ay
obhabhakuwe(Iimit
atedhi
svoi
ce)

Weal l
laughed.Ireal
l
ymissedhim sobadly.We
washedt hedi
shesandwenttositinthelounge.
IputmyheadonMsi ra'
slap,t
heywer e
watchi
ngsoccer .

Msi
ra:
sukekum,
I'
m notAy
anda'
ssubst
it
ute
Me:
youar
eandi
fundi
susandzoqal
elandi
l
il
e.
Msira:inthatcaseIr
atherbeTaAy
la'
s
substi
tutethanyourt
ears.
Me:
theni
tsset
tl
ed.
Mawanda:
Simany
euy
ibul
l
yenci
nci
kodwa.
Me:
ndi
rit
e.

All
ofasuddenIjustkeptqui
te,
Ireall
ymissed
YandabutIwassonotgoingbackt oourpl
ace.

Mawande: Simanyet
hathi
bagizakho
buy
elendl
i
ni casyamkhumbul
auTaAy la
Me:
noI
'
mfi
ne.

Wechattedandt
heylef
tar
ound9pm theywer
e
goi
ngtoCubana,t
heywant
edtotakemewith
butIr
efused.
Ir
eall
ymi ssedYandasobadly,Ineversl
ept
wi
thoutmyYandaev ersi
ncewegotmar ri
ed.I
wantedtoswi tchonmyfoneandf onehi
m butI
wasstil
lhurt.Icri
edmyselft
osleep.

I
nga'
sni
ghtwi
thouthi
sYanda.Li
featt
imes:
'
(

I
ngakaYanda.
;
-)
[
08/
18,
23:
38]Mca:
INSERT126

Itwasmi dnightwhenIt r
iedt oturn,Ifeltsohot
andsuffocated, Imadeasmal lprayer,'
Godl et
i
tnotbewhatIt hi
nki tis,Icannothav ean
Asthmaat tackngi ngedwanj eIcan' t'
.Ther oom
wasdar k,Idon'tswitchof fthelightwhenI
sleepandIwassosur eIdi dn'tswitchitoff.I
thoughtofiiCof i(ghost s)zasehost elhowI
usedtobescar edmakuzal alwa.Peopl ewere
talki
ngabouti icofibutnonehasev ersawone,
otherstheysayi tspeopl ewhodi edwhile
studyingtheresot heywer evisit
ingthei
rbeds,
somewoul dsayi tsevi
l spi
ri
ts,soev enthat
nightIjustthoughtoft hosethings.Iwasr eal
l
y
scaredt omov eletalonet obreath.

Mybodywasenmeshed, i
tsonl
yAyandawho
doest hat
,butIwassosur ei
twasnotAy anda,
therewasnowayhecoul dgeti
nhedidn'thave
akeyt othehouse.Thegatewaslocked,so
wast hefrontdoorandthebugl
er,
therewasno
wayhecoul dgetin,yesIdi
dn'
tarmthealarm
casIknewIwassaf e,t
hewindowswer eal
l
closed.

It
ri
edt
omov
eagai
n,Ir
eal
l
ycoul
dn'
tbr
eat
h.

Voi
ce:
uyaphi
Inga?
Hemustbeki
ddingmeItri
edtomoveaway
f
rom hi
mfor
cefull
ybuthehel
dme.

Me:Ay
anda!
!!Howdi
dyougeti
nher
e?Uf
unani
l
a?
Ayanda:zemf
azi
niwam I
nganat
hi,
Icoul
dn'
t
sl
eepbhabha,
Itr
iedt
ocally
outhewhol
eday
butyourf
onewasoff
.
Me: ar
ggggyAyanda,
youaredr
unk,howdi
d
youdri
veunj
e,didyoubat
hinalcohol
?

Hebur
ped

Ay
anda:
funumf
azi
wam nj
ebhabha
Me:
mfazi
wam myl
eftf
ootAy
anda
Ay
anda:
xol
oVuy
olwam ,
xol
oMar
hadebe
Me: mfxmmm Ay anda,switchonthel
ight
pl
ease,andtakeyourxolo,
goandshov eit
wherethesundoesnotshine, yadi
kaAyanda,
I
l
eftyouendli
nicasIneededsomet i
meaway
fr
om youandIam fineasy oucansee.

Hest
ret
chedhi
sar
m andswi
tchedont
hesi
de
l
amp.

Ayanda:
youcan'tl
eav
emebhabha,
til
ldeat
h
dousapartangi
thi
?
Me:
Ireal
l
yneedt
imeal
oneAy
anda
Ay
anda: youdon'
tbhabha,
wedon'
t,I
'
m sor
ry
Marhadebe
Me:
konahowdi
dyougeti
nher
e
Ay
anda:
itdoesn'
tmat
terbhabha
Me: mf
xmmm, vukakhumulei
ngubo,
ngena
kanj
ani
embedenisagqoki
l
e.
Ay
anda:
ndi
khul
ulebhabha
Me:chaaaAyanda,v
ukaukhumul
eot
her
wise
youwi
llsl
eeponthefl
oor
Ay
anda:
Khul
ulesweet
cheekszi
kaTaAy
la

Hebur
pedagain,hi
seyeswer
ehal
fcl
osed,
mfxmmm Ayandacanbeapai
ninabut
t

Itookoffhi
scl
othesandhewasl
eftwi
thhi
s
boxershort
.

Ay
anda:
thandabhabhauMt
ungwa
Me:
mfxmm
Ayanda:suthi
mfxmm al
okubhabha,
yit
hi
yandi
thandanam

Hebur
pedagai
n
Me:ahhy
oudot
hatagai
n,IswearI
'
m goi
ngt
o
ki
l
lyou

Ayanda:
xoloMashwabada.Di
dyoueat?I
br
oughtyoufood
Me:
Iat
e
Ay
anda:
youar
ely
ing,
whatdi
dyoueat
?
Me:
foodAy
anda
Ay
anda:
from wher
e?
Me:
oobabomdal
abr
oughtmef
ood
Ay
anda:
bebel
apha?
Me:
yep,
theyl
eftaf
ter9
Ay anda:t
heyareal
ltrai
tor
s, t
heylef
tme
starvi
ngther
e,abat
shonababay aphi,
ndishiy
wenanguMsirabendincokol
anaye.
Me:
ukul
ayi
l
e,l
et'
ssl
eepngi
yozel
a
Ay
anda:
comesl
eepont
opofme
Me:daki
we,angil
alinjephezukwakhounuka
ut
ywal
aandI'm st
il
lcrosswithyou,howdoI
sl
eepontopofyoungikukwatele.
Ayanda:xol
oalokubhabha,
pleaseev
eni
f
ukwati
l
esleepontopofme.

Isl
eptont
opofhi
m.

Ay
anda:
bhabhaI
'
m so.
..
.
Me:
notnowYandapl
easel
et'
ssl
eep.
Ay
anda:
canIgetagoodni
teki
ss
Me:
noy
ouar
epushi
ngi
tnow.
Ay
anda:
pleasebhabha
Mfxmm wekissedabitanukaut
ywal
aanj
alo,
whatwasIsupposet
odohewasmyhusband
af
teral
landweslept
.

Iwaswokenbyahoot
eragai
nitwasar
ound
5am

Ay
anda:
whomi
ghtt
hatbet
hisear
ly?
Me:
Idon'
tknow

Ayandawokeupandwentt
ocheck,
hecame
backaft
ersomet
ime.

Me:
ibi
ngubani
.
Ay
anda:
ngooNdu
Me:
whatar
etheydoi
ngher
e?
Ay
anda:
don'
taskme,
theyf
loppedont
he
couchesbat
ipasamet
ime.
Me:
roughni
te
Ay
anda:
Iguessi
twas.

Iwasonhi
schest
.

Me:
tel
lmehowdi
dyougeti
nher
e.
Ayanda:
that
'st
heminorkuTaAyl
abhabha,
I
wasonceathug(hehadanaught
ysmil
e)
Me: I
'm goi
ngtofonemydadandt
ell
him
uqhekezeumuziwakhe.
Ay
anda:Idi
dn'
tbr
eaki
n,Ij
ustopenedf
or
mysel
f
Me:
youar
est
il
lat
hugmoss
Ay
anda:
heywenabhabha
Igi
ggl
ed

Ayanda:
I'
mr eal
lysor
rybhabha,y
ouknow
whenyoulef
t,It
houghtIhavel
ostyouf
orgood.
Me:ifyoucont
inuedoi
ngl
ent
ouy
enzay
oyou
wi
l
lloseme
Ayanda:Iam r
eal
lysorr
yforwhatIdi
d,I
shoul
dn'
thavedoneit.
Me:
Ihav
ehear
dthatl
i
nebef
oreYanda.
Ay
anda:
Imeani
thonest
ly
Me: YandaI'
m notsay
ingt
hatIam al
waysri
ght,
butIneedyoutotalkt
omei fI
'
m wrongdon'
t
makemef eelabusedcasr
ightnowthi
sishow
Ifeel
.

Ayanda:Ioncesai
dyoutrustt
oomuch,i
ts
goodbhabhabutonedayitwil
ll
andyoui
n
tr
ouble,
theyar
emybr ot
hersIknowt
hem,I'
m
notsayingthatcutthet
ieswitht
hem, all
I'
m
sayingbecaref
ularoundthem whenitcomesto
gir
lstheyarenotwhaty outhi
nktheyare,nami
I
wil
lgetbetterbhabha.

Me: ok,maybenami I
'
m overdoingitbhabha,
if
Imadey ouuncomf ort
ableI
'm sorr
y,it
ssimple
thatallyourbr
othersItakethem asmybl ood
brothersandItrustthem.IpromiseIwi l
lbe
careful.

Ay
anda:
so,
am If
orgi
ven
Me:
no!
!Ni
cet
rybhut
i
Ay
anda:
sowhatmustIdot
obef
orgi
ven

Ismi
l
ed
Ay
anda:
IknowI
'
m goi
ngt
oregr
ett
his.
Me:
wel
lbhabha,
mhmm,
youknow.
..
.
Ay
anda:
thet
haSi
many
e
Me: therei
sthi
sshoet hatIsawatLuell
a,not
thatexpensi
vejustaboveaR1000, i
fyoucan
buyitformethenyouwi l
lbeforgi
ven.
Ayanda:ai
yi
ibhabha,t
hatwon'
thappen,Ist
il
l
haveumsebenzimelendi
wenzi
l
eekhay a.
Me:hayi
kei
nthatcaseIwi
l
lfonebaba
angi
phei
mal
i
.
Ay
anda:bhabhaIdogi
vey
oual
l
owance
mont
hlyuy
enzani?
Ayanda:hhabe,ngi
yay
isebenzisa.Angit
hi you
sai
dImustnotusemysal arymoney ,
soiy akwi
savi
ngszam Idependony ourall
owance, and
mybursari
esall
owancecasy ousai dmypar ent
muststopgivi
ngmeallowance.
Ay
anda:
fineI
nganat
hi,
wil
lbuyt
hoseshoes
andi
ncr
easey
ourmont
hlyal
l
owance.
Me:
(Iscr
eamed)t
hanky
ouMt
ungwa.
Ay
anda:
yar
asaI
nganat
hi,
comeher
e
Me:
nogoandwashy
ourmout
hfi
rsty
anuka
Ay
anda:
heywenabhabha

Heki
ssedme

Ayanda:let'
sgoandbat
h,soyodl
a.I'
m star
ving
okondigqibel
engebr
eakf
asti
zoloekuseni
ukudl
a.
Me:
yat
handa
Ay
anda:
wear
egoi
nghomeangi
thi
?
Me:
yes,
youar
eal
lgoi
nghome
Ay
anda:
wit
hyoubhabha
Me:
aiy
yAy
anda,
Iwi
l
lgobackhomeonFr
iday
Ay
anda:
int
hatcaseI
'
m st
ayi
ngher
ewi
thy
ou.
Me:hayiYanda,
wawuy i
vaphii
nto
yomkhwenyanaohl
alaekhweni
.
Ay
anda:
youar
ewast
ingy
ourt
ime
Me:
mfxmm.

Webat hedandwenttothelounge,obabomdala
bebeti
pe.,Iswi
tchedonthedvdngay i
beka
kutopivol
ume,theyall
wokeup, theymumbled.

Me:
wakeup
Mawande:
ndi
kuf
akei
mpamakeSi
many
e
Me: zabhadala,whenItel
lmyfat
her
ungibet
heleekhay a,
konahowdidyoupass
endli
nini
ngalalangakhonanj
eorkwezenu
i
zindlubabomdal a.
Mawande:
wenaushi
yekenabani
,si
zogada
wena
Me:
at5am ni
ngi
yekeubusukubonke.

Iwentt omaket
hem strongblackcoff
ee
i
ncludingmyGodzil
l
a.Whent heywer
edone
theytookashowerandwedr oveto
Zevenwachtmall
forbreakfast.

Ndumi
e:uf
ikeni
nil
omt
uut
hiy
indodakho.
Me: askhi
m babomdal
a,whenIwokeup
besezi
ngubeni
Ndumie:howdi
dyougeti
n?Sesi
skol
inangoku
Ayanda?
Ay
anda:
hay
imaar
nsundi
bizangal
ont
o.

Weate,
Mawandesettl
edthebil
landwentback
home(Highbur
y),
Ayandapackedmystuf
fand
wel ef
t,wegothome(Tabl ev i
ew),tomy
surpri
seAy andadi dn'
tlockthedoor, thekey
wasst il
lhangingthereluckyenought hegat
e
wascl osed.Iwentt othebar ,
GodAy anda
fi
nishedabot t
leofRemyMar ti
ncognac
ayedwa, nowonderhedi dn'
tlock.Icleanedup
andwentt ot helounge.Itwasonl yAy anda,
oobabomdal awer eintheirroomssl eepingI
guess.IstartedcookingAy andacameand
helpedme.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Dayswentbyi twasTuesdaydayf orour

sessi
onwi t
hDrAbr ahams,Iwassonotlooking
for
wardtoi tbutIhadt o,
Iwassopr ayi
ngthat
i
ngabikhointensiv
e, phel
aIwasgoingforan
i
nterv
iewfol l
owingdaymyhear tneededtobe
i
ngoodpl ace.
Wewokeup, madethebed,bathedandleft
.We
fi
rstwenttoWimpyandhadbreakfast
.Hepaid
andwel ef
taswewerewalkingtotheparki
ng
someonecall
edAyanda'
snamewel ookedback.

Voi
ce:
TaAy
la
Ay
anda:
yha
Lady:
hi
Ay
anda:
sur
e
Lady:IsawyoutheotherdaybutIwas
worki
ng,weneedtot
alk.
Ay
anda:
tal
kaboutwhatThandi
swa?
Thandi
swa:
itspri
vat
ewecannotdiscussither
e
ngol
uhl
obo, weneedtosi
tdown,andmyl unch
i
salmostovernowandIjustst
art
edrecentl
y.
Ay
anda:
eksewenay
ini
kany
elef
unasi
thet
he
ngay
ocasIdon'
thav
eanythi
ngtosaytoyou,
whatwehadendedl
ongt
imeagoasy oucan
seeI
'm mar
ri
ednowandhappil
ymarr
ied.
Thandi
swa:
wehav
easonAy
anda,
,
,,

Iswal
l
owedhar
d:-
\

Ayanda: thet
hukunyakengokusonyani
,why
bendingazingal
ontomnauzoqhamkangoku
uthindinomtanathat
'sbul
l
Thandi
swa: IwishIwasl
yi
ngbutI '
m not
,when
youarereadytotal
kandmeetyoursonI'
m
worki
ngkwapi cknpayasacashieryouwil
l
fi
ndmet here.

Myheartj
ustsank:-
(.
..
..Wewal
kedt othecar
wewerebothquit
e.Icouldf
eel
thelump
bui
l
dingupinsi
demesower emyt ears.
Ilookatmyhands, Iwasshaking,Iwasnot
angryIwasjustscared..
..
..
.Tr
ustmef orevery
mar r
iedwoman, youwouldlov
et obearchi l
dren
foryourhusbandnothisExesorsi dedishes.
Wegoti nt
ot hecarAyandapunchedt he
starr
ingwheel

Ay
anda:
fuck!
!Thatbi
tchi
sly
ing,
,
,

Idi
dn'
tut
terawor
d

Whenwi
l
lIev
erbehappy
..
..:
-(

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
18,
23:
39]Mca:
INSERT127

Ay
anda:
bhabha,
arey
ouok?

Inodded

Ayanda: IcanfoneDrAbrahamsandt
ell
hert
o
rescheduleourappoi
ntment.
Me:
wear
eher
eal
ready,
sol
et'
sdot
his.
Ay
anda:
arey
ousur
e?
Me:
yes
Ayanda:youdon'
thav
et oactal
lfi
neI
nganat
hi
casIknowdeepdowny ounot.

Ikeptqui
te.
Hetookhi
sfoneandmadeacal
l
,Idon'
tknow
whohewasfoning.

Ay anda:Goodmor ni
ngdoc,,,
,
, (Ilookedathim)
goodt hansandy ou,,
,,DrI
'mf oningtocancel
ourappoint mentwhi chisin30mi ntime.,,
,
,,
,yes
, somethingur gentcameupbutIwi llpayf
or
thesession, ,
,
,,I'
m sosorryfort he
i
nconv enience,
,,,
,Iwil
ldoctor,
,
,,thanky ou.

Hedr
ovehome

Me:
whydi
dyoucancel
ourappoi
ntment
?
Ayanda:youar
enotfi
neInganat
hi,
lookat
your
selfy
ouareshaki
ng.
Me:
I'
mfi
ne,
Iwi
l
lbef
ineAy
anda.
Ayanda:tr
ustmeInganat
hi,
thati
snotmy
baby,i
fndandi
mit
hisi
l
eIwouldhaveknown.
Me: butThandi
swawoul
dnev
ersayhei
syour
s
kant
i asi
ngowakho.
Ay anda:Imi ghthavebeenrestl
essbeforebutI
alway susedcondomswi t
hthosegirl
sandwe
didn'thaveaser i
ousrel
ati
onshipnoThandiswa,
Isleptwithherkabil
ingecondom, yes
okwesi bi
lii
tbrokebutzangengachithel
akuye
andIwentt obuyforhermor ni
ngafterpi
ll
.
Me: i
fyouwereusi
ngcondom al
waysAy
anda,
whyufuneukwenzaanHI
Vtestaf
ter
si
thandene?
Ayanda: Ididn'
twannaputy oui ndanger
I
nganat hi,Iwantedt oprotectyoumor et
han
my self
.ThingsIdi dwhil
eIwasst il
lathugwere
torisky,Iwasalway si
ncont actwithblood
bengasolelamiandInev erwentf oranHIVtest
i
nmyl if
e,notthati tdi
dn'tbothermebef orei
t
didbutIwasscar edandIknewwi t
hy ou
buzandisupportalltheway .
Me: Ayanda,Itr
ustyouwithal
l ofmyheartand
ngi
celaungitr
usternami,Iwon'tl
eav
ey ou
ngobayouhav eachild,y
ouar emyhusband,
andyouraffai
rwi t
hThandiswahappenedlong
befor
eImety ou.

Wegothome.

Ayanda:funandit
hikeInga?Ndi
thi
that
bastar
dismineingeyoy
am.
Me:y
ouwi
llnott
alkl
ikethatngenganeAy
anda
ev
eni
fhei
snotyours,takethatback.
Ay
anda:
fokofI
nganat
hi!
!
Me:
ok

IknewAy andawhenhewasst r
essedbekul
ula
ukhiphel
aIstresski
mi.Wewalkedint
othe
l
ounge, oobabomdal
awerethere.Iwentt
othe
couchandf
loppedoni
t.

Msira:
aren'
tyousupposet
obeseei
ngy
our
shr
ink?
Me:
yep
Msi
ra:andnow,whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e,and
whyAy
andaisshouti
ng.

Ishr
uggedmyshoul
der
s

Msi
ra:
arey
ousur
eyouar
eok?

Inodded,
hecamecl
oserandhel
dmyhands.

Msi
ra:
youar
eshaki
ng
Me:
I'
mfi
ne.
Mawande:
didAy
andahur
tyou?

IshookmyheadandAy
andacamedown.

Ayanda:
ther
eisonesolut
iont
othi
s,Iam
goi
ngtodoapater
nit
ytest.

Ikeptqui
te.

Ndumi
e:whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?
Ayanda: kunal
ebit
chi
thi
I'
mthef
atherofher
son,IknowI '
m not
.
Mawande:
whoi
sthat
?
Ayanda: LaweyiWarayaseGugs,
Ionceasked
youindigodusel
eyona,besi
sahl
alakwel
adl
adla
l
am liseBranckenf
ell
.
Mawande:
Thandi
swa?
?
Ay
anda:
yhaa.
Mawande:
arey
ousur
ethat
'snoty
ourchi
l
d?
Ay
anda:
I'
m sur
eWar
a
Ndumie:now,
whyar
eyouf
ight
ingwi
th
I
nganathi
?
Ayanda:yandi
phambanel
au-Si
many
e,she
thi
nksthebabyismi
ne.
Ndumi
e:soukuphambanel
anj
ani
ifThandi
swa
say
sheisy
ours?

Me: al
lI'
m sayingi
si fthebabyisyour
snothi
ng
wil
lchangeAy anda, youaresti
l
lmyhusband,I
wil
lsupportyou,wil
lloveyourchil
dasminecas
uzobeengowakho, whywouldIbeangryfor
somethingthathappenedlongt i
meago,so
yeyi
phii
ntoendi wrongongay o?

Ay
anda:
fornott
rust
ingme,
whenIsayt
hatnot
mybaby
.
Me: i
tsnotthatIdon'
ttr
ustyoubhabha,but
herewearetalki
ngaboutpossi
bil
i
tiest
hat
angangowakhoandwhati fhei
syours?
Ayanda:wewillgoandseehimlat
ekei ft
hat
'
s
whatyouwantInganat
hi,
thenIwil
ltakehi
mfor
pater
nit
ytestt
omorrow,areyouhappy?

Me: kant iyi

ni veleAy anda?Sot hisisaboutme
now, wel lAyandaIdi dn'tsuggestt haty ougo
forpat ernitytest,Ididn'tfor cey out oany t
hing
allIwassay i
nghemi ghtbey ours,ifyouwanna
sithereandkeepwonder ing, ifhei syourson
ornot ,letitbeAy anda.I'm si ckandt ir
edoft hi
s,
wenaev eryti
mey ouar est ressedorf rustr
ated,
I'
mt hef i
rstpersonobhodl elakuy e,I'
m outof
this,
f r
om nowony ouwi ll
nev erhearme
utter
inganywor d,can'tyouf oroncet al
ktome
uyekeleungi shout a.Iam goi ngt otakeanap
t
omor
rowIhav
eani
nter
viewt
oat
tend.

Iwasnotangrynorhurt
,Iwasget
ti
ngusedto
thehusbandImarr
ied.Oneoft
hereasonsI
pref
ertokeepever
ythi
ngtomysel
fandpret
end
asifal
liswel
l.

Iwasf
all
i
ngasl
eepwhenAy
andashookme.

Ay
anda:
bhabha
Me:
mhmm
Ay
anda:
canIt
alkt
oyouf
orami
nut
epl
ease
Me:
notnowbhabha
Ay
anda:
pleasebhabha

Isatup
Ay
anda:
Iam sor
rybhabha
Me:
itschi
l
led
Ay
anda:
no,
itsnot
Me:
I'
m cool
,honest
ly

Ayanda: youar er ight,I

'm str
essedand
fr
ustrated, Ididn' timagi nemyl i
fetobelikethis,
njeucingat hatImi ghthaveasonscar esme.I
wantedal lourchi ldrenbabengabet hunot
abaphandl e, thisj ustcamengexeshael i
wr ong,
I'
m mor ewor riedabouty outhanmy sel
fy ou
wentt hroughal otr ecently
.I'
m sorr
y
Mashwabada.

Me: (Ihel
dhishands)honest
lyI
'mfine,
remembert hi
sisnotaboutme, i
tsaboutt
he
chil
d,hedeservest
oknowhi sdad,i
fyouarehi
s
dad, I
'
mr eall
yhappy ,
Iknowi ntoyenganeits
l
ongov erdue, yesIwon'tlieithurtsbutIwon't
depriveaninnocentchi l
dachancet obewit
h
hisdad.Ifnivumel ananoThandi swa
angazohl al
anathi ,Iwil
lbemor et hanhappy,he
will
bemysont oo.Iwon' ti
nterfer
ei nanyofthe
decisi
onseni zozenzabuthonest l
yIwouldlove
tobepar tofhisl i
fenami .

Ayanda:onedayt
hoset
ear
swi
l
lbewi
ped
awaybhabha.

It
ouchedmycheeks,
mfxmm ,
Ihadtear
s
st
rol
li
ngdownmycheeks,
hewipedt
hem.

Ay
anda:
youar
esuchanangel
.
Me:
youar
esuchaGodzi
l
la.
Ay
anda:
heywenabhabha,
het
ickl
edme,
wil
l
y
ouaccompanymesi
yombonakel
ate.
Me:nhaabhabha,
Idoubtumhawengane
woul
dbepleasedwit
hthat
.
Ayanda:toughkecasintoazasi
dibani
sa
yi
ngcosiifhei
smi neothert
hanthatshei
s
nothi
ngtome.Pl easebhabhaIneedyour
support
.
Me: okke,Iwi
llgowit
hy ou,Ican'
twai
ttosee
him,maybeheiscut
elikeyou,canwepickupu
-Thandi
swafr
om workthensihambenaye.
Ayanda:noyouar
epushi
ngi
tnow,andi
na
bi
tchzohambangemot
oyam,zodi
bananat
hi
phambil
i.
Me:
pleasebhabha
Ay
anda:
hay
iInga
Me:
please(Imadeapuppyf
ace)
Ay
anda:
mfxmm,
okkeI
nganat
hi.
Me:
thanky
ou,
Iki
ssedhi
sli
ps.
Indeedl
atewewentt opickhersi
nceshewas
notawarewewer ecomingt of
etchher,Yanda
wenttotel
lher,
luckyenoughbesephumaso
shecamewi t
hAy andaandgotin,oobabomdala
werewit
husi nMawande' scar
.

Thandi
swa:andl
o,whati
sshedoi
ngher
e,t
his
i
sbetweenmeandyou.

Idon'
tanswert
othi
ngst
hatar
enotdi
rect
edt
o
me.

Ay
anda:
whatdi
dyouj
ustsay
?
Me:
ufunani
lo?
Ayanda:l
i
stenandli
stent omev er
ycaref
ul
Thandi
swa,youarenothingbutabit
ch
engumamawomt anam ifthati
smychil
dother
thant
hatyouarenothingandy ouwi
ll
respect
mywifeli
keitornotyouwi l
landshei
sgoingto
bepartoft
hischi
ld,i
st hatcl
ear?
Thandiswa:wel
li
nt hatcaseungaskeuy
eke
ndi
zikhuli
sel
eumtanam
Ayanda:toughke, y
ouar et
heonewhocamet o
mesoi freal
lyheismychi l
dandit
handisiwena,
youwon'tfonemeev eni
fit
ssomet hi
ngthat
hastodonengcosi ,y
ouwi l
lfoneuInganathi
for
anyt
hingoy i
funay
o,siyev
anamoss?
Thandi
swa: thethikakaIwon'
tdot
hat
,whoi
s
thefat
herkantiapha?
Ayanda:saythatagainThandi
swabona
andi
zukunyi
sanha, si
veneandi
thi
?
Thandi
swa:
yes
Ay
anda:
good

Icoul
dn'
twai
tsi
yof
ikawher
ewewer
egoi
ng,
I
wassi ckandt i
redofswear i
ng, Ifail
to
understandwhyi twassodi ff
icul tforYanda
andThandi swat ofi
nishasent encewi t
hout
swearing.Bebengenzelaisi
yezi nje.Wegotof f
khaboThandi swaeGugul ethu, say aendli
ni
besekulatebutbebesahleli
abant u.Bekukho
usi
sikaThandi swanoboy .

LordIcouldn'
thelpmy sel
fwhenIsawhi m, I
j
ustcried,hewasar epli
caoft heKhumalos,
andikwazikuf
anisabutbengokaAy andaninani
.
Bayafanabonkekowaboev ent houghYandais
morel i
ght
erthatot hersbutbengabuzwauboy .
Ndaskeandamazi nobauf ananoYanda,
Mawande, Ndumi eorXhant ina.Ijustfel
li
nlove
wit
hhi m,hewasar ound5-6y earsold.

Boy:
mommyngot
atabam aba?
Thandi
swa:
noboy
Boy:buty
oual
way
ssayonedayIwi
l
lseemy
fat
her
.
Thandi
swa:
youwi
l
lsoon.

Me:
(Iwhi
sper
ed)khombi
zehl
ebhabha
Ay
anda:
hay
iSi
many
e
Me:
pleaseYanda,
Ijustwannat
ouchhi
m
Ayanda:
haySimanye,
youarecryi
ngal
ready
,
whyareyoudoi
ngthi
stoyoursel
f?
Me:
pleaseYanda,
hei
syour
s,y
afananawe
Ay
anda:
nhaa,
hei
snotmi
ne.
Me:
daki
wewena,
pleaseYandacal
lhi
m.
Ay
anda:
ekseymj
i
ta,
comeher
e.

Icoul
dn'
thel
pbutl
aughedi
nbet
weenmyt
ear
s
Me:
thi
sisnothowy
oucal
lachi
l
d.
Ay
anda:
zay
enzai
mof
ilenkwenkweI
nga.

Igi
ggl
ed.

Hecamewambekaonhislap,Lor
dIguess
abant
ubakwaKhumaloar
ealll
oudnebabi
es
zabo#hi
destoal
lKhumalosi
nthi
spage#

Boy:(hetouchedmycheeks)whyar
eyou
cr
yingwena
Me:
u-aunt
yisj
usthappyboy
Boy:
whyar
eyouhappy
?

Ismi
l
ed
Boy:
mahl
eamehl
owakhowena.
Ayanda:hel
akwedi
ni,
youdon'tsayWENAt
o
anadult
,yousaymom oraunt

Mf
xmmm Ij
ustador
edt
hem

I
ngakaYanda;
)
[
08/
18,
23:
39]Mca:
INSERT128

Boy:
Mahl
enj
ena
Me:
thanky
ou,
sowhati
tisy
ourname?
Boy:
I'
mIndi
phi
l
eandwenaungabani
?
Me:
I'
m auntI
nganat
hi
I
ndy:
ohh,
youar
emymot
her
'sf
ri
end
Me:
yesIam boy
I
ndy:
wenaungubani
(hel
ookedatAy
anda)
Ayanda: hel
aKwedi
ni,
youdon'
taskanadul
t
i
gamal akhe

Iwaspl
ayi
ngwi
thhi
shands,
hewassocut
e
ni
nani
.

I
ndy:
wenay
oudon'
tst
opcr
ying
Me:
ngi
zoy
ekamanj
e
Mawande:
TaAy
lakhomdl
uli
sel
engapha
Me:
comet
hissi
depl
easebabomdal
a.

Hecameandmadehi
m sitonhisl
ap,het
hen
l
if
tedhi
spjt
opandl
owereditagai
n.

Ayanda:Thandiswa,i
tsget
ti
nglat
e,Ihaveseen
hi
m butsti
ll
Iinsistt
hatwedothepaterni
tyt
est
.
Thandi
swa:fornt
oni
?uzi
bonel
enawe,
hei
s
your
sakabuzwa.
Ayanda: st
il
lIi
nsi
st,
Iwillor
ganizewithmy
doctorf
ortomorrow,
wewi ll
pickyoudur i
ng
l
uncht i
me, t
henwewill
takeiffr
om there.
Thandi
swa: y
ouliketomakethingsdi
ff
icul
tTa
Ayl
a,butst
il
lIdon'tseeanyr
eason.
Ayanda:don'
tgetmewrong,Iwil
ldoanyt
hing
formychil
dbutIneedt
obesur efi
rst,
yesIcan
seengowakwaKhumalobutIwannabesure.
Thandi
swa: fi
neke,
howam Igoi
ngt
owork
wit
hachild,cast
heywon'
tal
lowmendi
yenay
e
emsebenzini
.
Ayanda:
foneInganat
hiwheny
ouar
einTabl
e
vi
ew,Iwi
llpi
ckhim
Thandi
swa:
Iwon'
tl
etmychi
l
dahl
alenomny
e
umfazi
.
Ay
anda:
Ingawon'
tdoany
thi
ngt
ohi
m,she
l
ovesl
enkwenkwe.

WiththatIdi
dn'
tbl
ameherf
orbei
ngpr
otect
ive
ofherchil
d.

Ayandagav eThandiswamynumber .Ihugged

hi
m( I
ndy)andwesai dourgoodby
esandwe
l
eft,weboughtf oodonourwayhome, we
arr
ivedathomear ound9pm.Iwashedmy
hands,di
shedupt hefoodandweate.

Mawande:soyouar
eser
iousaboutt
he
pat
erni
tyt
est
?
Ay
anda:
yep
Me: buthei
syour
sbhabha,y
ousawthatnawe,
Iwonderwhyyousti
l
lwannadot
hepaterni
ty
test
.
Mawande:
Ial
sowannadoi
t.
Wealllookedathi
m, wewer
ereal
l
yast
oni
shed
aboutwhathesaid.

Ndumie:why?That'
sAyanda'sbabynoty
our
s
andyouarenoti
denti
calt
wins.
Mawande:
hemi
ghtbemi
ne

Ichoked

Ay
anda:
nopr
obl
em
Ndumie:whati
sgoingonher
e?Cansomeone
t
ellmekwenzakal
ani?
Mawande:
asIsai
dhemi
ghtbemi
net
oo
Ndumi
e:Igott
hat,
buthow?
Mawande:
Ial
sot
appedThandi
swasev
eral
l
y
t
imes
Me:
tapped?
?whatdoy
oumean?

Hel
ookeddown.

Me:
no,
no,
no,
thi
sisnotwhatIt
hinki
tis
Mawande:
yesi
tisl
ast
bor
n

Irant
othebat
hroom andv
omi
ted,
Ayanda
came.

Ay
anda:
bhabhaar
eyouok?

Ivomitedal
lthef
oodIhav
eeaten,
Ifl
ushedt
he
toi
let
,ri
nsedmymouthandwashedmyhands

Ay
anda:
arey
ouok?
Inodded,Iwal
kedoutandwentbackt
othe
l
ounge,theywerest
il
lqui
te

Ndumi
e:ar
eyouok?

If
loppedont
hecouchi
ndi
sbel
i
ef.

Me: sobabomdal
a,y
oumeany ousleptwit
h
Thandi
swaknowingt
hatshewassleepingwit
h
Ayanda?
Mawande:
I'
m notpr
oudofi
tlastbor
n.
Me:
andy
ouAy
anda,
didy
ouknowaboutt
his?
Ayanda:y
esbhabhaIsawWar
atappi
ngheri
n
thecar
Me: cany
out
wost
opusi
ngt
he'
tap'
wor
d
pl
ease.
Ayanda:Isawthem f
ucki
nginthecarbutI
pr
etendedasifIdi
dn'
tseethem.
Me:soy
oukeptqui
te.
Ayanda:hewasi nlovewithWar abhabha,
she
di
dn'tl
oveme, sheonl yf
ellinl
ovewit
hmy
moneyandi nt
oy ethuwasj ustumphanono
st
ringatt
ached,believ
emewhenIsayIonl y
sl
eptwithhertwice.

Me:
sowhi
chmeansI
'
mli
vi
ngwi
thani
mal
s.
Ndumi
e:whatdoy
oumeanl
astbor
n?
Me: aft
erthi
s,howwouldIknowi
fI'
m safe
aroundyouguys,howwoul
dIknowifI
'm not
next.

Msi
ra:
hay
imaar
nlastbor
n
Me: t
ell
me, i
twasfir
stAy
anda,Zimasaand
babomdaluXhant
i,t
henAyanda,Thandi
swa
andy
oubabomdal
a,ni
ngabant
uabanj
ani
vel
e?

Ndumi
e:l
astbor
ncal
m down.
Me: I'
m calm babomdal a,itsjustt hatI'mv ery
disappointed, Itr
ustedy ou, Isti
lldo, Itrusted
thatI'm safewi thyou,I'
m pr otect edbutr ight
nowI '
m notsur e.Kunigi r
lsar elikeci garettes,
youj ustpuffupandpassi t, whati fthosegi rls
wer eHIVi nfected,whichmeansbeni zosuleleka
nonkemoss, wer eyougoi ngt obepr oudof
yourselves?Isowi shyouwer eident icaltwins,
ningazuy azinobawhoi st hef ather,ritenowI
can'tlookaty ou, youdisgustme! !

Ir
anupst
air
s.

Ay
anda:
bhabha
Me:
noAy
anda
Ikeptonr unning,Iwassodi sappoi
ntedgott o
thinkofwhatXhant isaidkuAy andathef i
rst
dayhesawme, thedayIonceshar eaf leece
wi t
hMawande, howIj umpedonNdumi ethe
dayabuy a, howIsleptonMsi ra'sl
ap, Iwanted
toscream, Ihatedmy self
,Ihatedmyhear tf
or
trusti
ngsoeasi l
y.Itookoffmycl ot
hesand
wor emypj s.Igotinbed,Ayandawal kedi n,
he
tookof fhi
scl ot
hesandgoti nbehindme.

Ay
anda:
bhabhaar
eyouok?
Me:
yes,
Iam
Ay
anda:
Inganat
hi,
pleasel
ookatme.

Idi
dn'
twannal
ookathi
m,Ist
il
lhadal
umpon
mythr
oat,
Itur
nedt
ofacehi
m.
Ayanda: somet imes, whenIt alktoyou, itsnot
thatI'
m crazyorI 'm bei ngpossessedby
demonsI '
mt ryingt opr otecty ou.Ididn'twanna
badmout hmybr ot her scasIsawhowy ou
reall
yadoreandr espectt hem.Iknowmy
brother
sbhabhawheni tcomest owoment hey
don'tasktwice, youar ey oung, whatbot hersme
themosti sthaty out rusteasi ly,youthinkt hat
bonkeabant uthi nkt hewayy oudo.I '
m sur e
nowy oudounder st andt her easonbehi ndme
beingoverpr otect i
v eandal way sgetf urious
wheny ouactcar elessl yar oundt hem, they
mightuset hatt ot hei radv ant ageandt r
ustmeI
keptquitewi t
ht heot hergi rl
sbutwi t
hy ou
kungangcwat ywai zidumbuezi yi3ekhay aif
ndingakufumanaul elewi thoneofmybr others
andndi t
rusterwi tht hatone.

Me: I
'm sorr
yagai
nbhabha,butt
obehonest
yonkelentoputmeinanawkwardposi
ti
on.
Ayanda:
IknowbutasIsai
dbecar
eful
around
them.
Me:
ok
Ay
anda:
youar
est
ubbor
nkodwabhabhay
azi
.
Me:ngi
ri
te,I
'm socrossi
ngmyf i
ngersand
pr
ayi
ngthatkubeyinganeyakhobhabha.Il
ove
hi
m.
Ay
anda:
youseem mor
eexci
tedt
hanIdo.
Me:
Ican'
thel
pitbhabha.

IknewhowmuchYandawant edbabi
esand
Indiphi
lewasj ustablessi
ngwebot hhavebeen
wai t
ingfor.Theysayev er
ythinghappensfora
reason,IlosttwobabiesandI ndi
phi
lecame,
Yandar eall
yneededt hatafterwhathewent
through.Iwasr eal
lyhappyf ormyhusband.

Ay
anda:
wewi
l
lhav
eourki
dsbhabha,
OUR
KIDSandtrustmeIndiphi
leisnotmybaby
azangendayichamel
alakakazi
,yingcosi
ka
Waraleya.
Me:pleasedon'
tsayt
hatbhabha,
Godwor
ksi
n
myst
eriousways.
Ay
anda:
atwhatt
imei
syouri
nter
view?
Me:
at9;
00
Ay
anda:good,whi
chmeansy
ouwi
l
lbedone
masi
yakwagqir
ha.
Me:
why?
Ay
anda:
Iwanty
out
obet
her
e
Me:i
fitwon'
tbeapr
obl
em,
Iwi
l
l,l
etussl
eep
nowI
'
mt ir
ed.

Ay
anda:
lambi
l
ebhabha
Me:
chaYanda,
udl
i
lenj
e
Hesmi
l
edandbi
tehi
slowerl
i
ps.

Me:
chaYanda,
I'
mti
red.
Ayanda:l
etust
akeitasagoodl
uckf
or
tomorr
ow,youmustbegl
owing,
whogoesf
or
anint
ervi
ewedul
l.
Ayanda:andwhatwi
l
lmakemegl
owMr
Khumalo.
Ay
anda: Mtungwa'
smagi
cMar
hadebeonl
y
Mtungwa.

Hesaidt
hati
nav er
ysexywayandhehal
f
cl
osedhi
seyes.

Me:
younast
yMrKhumal
o
Ayanda:Ihav
ebeent
oldbef
oreMadam
Khumalo.
Me:
bhabhab,
,
,,
,

Hethrust
edforwar dhismout hli
ghtl
ybrushi
ng
mineashelower edhimsel fi
ntoalovi
ng
embrace.WanikezelauMadam Khumal oyou
knowkeguy swhenshei saroundMister
Khumalo.Weundr essedeachot herunti
lwe
werebothnaked, wedidn'tbr
eakthekiss.He
cameont opofme, hethenstopped.

Ay
anda:God,youarebeaut
if
ulMar
hadebe,
he
murmur
edint
ot hecur
veofmyneck.

Hekissedmyf or
ehead, myey es,mycheeks,
mylipsandhecontinued,sl
owlyandsoft-
l
ipped,hethenwenttomybr eastsandsucked
them f
oral ongt
ime,Iranmyhanduphi sback.
Hisfi
ngerrubbedaroundmyt r
easureandmy
eyesroll
edbackint
omyhead.Imoaned,
Ay
anda:
damny
ouar
esowet

Ireal
lywantedYandai nsidemebutIknewmy
husbandwasgoi ngtot akehisti
me.Thef eel
i
ng
Ihadwasst agger i
ng,itwasmi ndblowing
sendingdel
ightfulsai
lingchill
s,hesentafoam
fl
eckedwav esscur r
yingov ermyskin.He
posit
ionedhim self

Me:
condom pl
ease

Hefi
ddledonthebedsi
deandputi
ton.He
cont
inuedki
ssi
ngme.Iwasgoi
ngcrazyIr
eal
l
y
wantedmyhusband.

Ay
anda:
mustIst
op
Me:
arey
oucr
,,
,
,

Bef
oreIcoul
dfi
nishhet
ri
edt
oent
er.

Me:
ahhhhhhhhabhabha

Ihel
dhimt i
ghtandsqueezedhisbody,he
si
multaneousl
ypenetr
atedandtouchedme.He
tr
iedagainunt
ilhewasin,het
henstopped

Ay
anda:
let
'smakeour
sbhabha.

Ishookmyhead,t
earsfl
ewdownmycheeks.
Yandaknewexact
lyhowIfel
taboutt
hat
.Idon'
t
knowwhyhesaidthat
.

Me:
noYanda,
I'
m notr
eadyy
oupr
omi
sedt
hat
wewill
waitatl
eastayearor2befor
esitr
y-er
agai
n.I
'm notr
eadyYanda,don'
tdothi
splease
i
thurt
s.,whati
sthisal
labout
?

Hekissedmytear
s.Iwasreal
l
ynotr
eadyt
otr
y
nj
e.Emotional
Iwasnot.

Ayanda:i
tsokMashwabada, i
tsok
Mafuzaf
ulel
e,i
tsokndl
ebenhl
ezombini
.I'
m
bei
ngself
ish.I
'
m sor
ryMarhadebe.

Thatmademesmi let
ohearYandaangi
biza
ngezi
thakazel
ozam.

Ay
anda: whenwear
eready
,(hewi
pedmyt
ear
s)
mustIcont
inue
Inodded.

Hest artedmov ing, If eltli

kepushi nghi m away
fort hepai nofpl easur eithur t
sbutIr esisted.
Thepai nt urnedi ntopl easur e.Iwasnol onger
my selfbutbei ngi nfinitelysuper i
ortoev eryt
hing
Iknew.Het ookmet omyf i
rstorgasm.He
visitedal lthecor nersofmyt r
easur e,Iwant ed
toscr eam buthekepti nvadingmymout hwi th
hist ongue.It henent eredapl acewher e
ev erythi
ngseemedatpeace, andwi thmy
secondor gasm IknewmyJesuswhodi edf or
mysi ns.Hewast hrust i
ngf asterandf asterthe
pai nwasmi nglingwi t hpleasureal lImanaged
tosaywas" OHGOD"andIsur renderedt owhat
ev ercamenextwhet heri twasHeav en,hel l,
ear th,mount ains, Ditau(l i
ons)r i
verst hatflows
i
nt ot hel akes, thel akest hatbecamet herivers,
ther iverst hatf l
owi nt otheOcean.Webot h
reachedt heclimax.
Ay
anda:
Fu,
,
,,
,ckkkkkkkbhabha.

Hethenloweredhi
msel fsl
owl
yandgentl
y
whereuponhebreathed,ENKOSIMARHADEBE
i
nmyear sandl
apsedintomywarm, small
,hal
f
-consci
ousnessbody,hewassti
ll
breat
hing
heavi
ly.

Ay
anda:
Ilov
eyoubhabha
Me:
lov
eyout
ooMy
eni
wami
.

Het
ookof
fthecondom,

Ay
anda:
youseengesenzeowet
huubhabha
Me:
pleaseYanda
Ay
anda:
I'
m sor
rykemyAngel
Hecl
eanedusandwecuddl
edt
osl
eep,
,
,,
,
,

I
ngakaYanda.
;
-)
[
08/
18,
23:
39]Mca:
INSERT129

Iwokeupasear lyas6am, myi nterviewwasat

9,cal
lmecr azybutIli
ket obeear ly,Idon't
beli
eveinAfri
cantime.Ay andawaswi deawake.
Iwenttotakeashower ,theshowerdoor
openeditwasAy anda,hej oinedme.Asmuch
aswel ovetoshowerorbat ht ogethernoYanda
butwealway sfi
ght,heli
kesl uke-war m water
andIli
kehotwat er,
winterornowi ntermy
watermustbehot .

Hisbi
garmspul
ledmetohi
m.Ileanedint
ohim,
henuzzl
edmyneckandIbr
oughtmylipsto
meethis.Hislipssl ammedi nt
ome,Iopened
forhim andhist ongueslidi
ntomywelcome,
caressi
ng,teasingandt asti
ng.Ir
eal
l
ywant ed
him asmuchashewant edme.

Don'
tjudgepl
easeI'm embarr
assedalr
eady
#hi
des#,phel
aYandaser vedmelastni
temara
Marhadebebezi
funel
auMt ungwawakhe,itwas
notme#hide#

Hishandsmov eddownmybodyandIar ched

i
ntomeet ingYandastouches.Hi
sf i
ngers
brushedtheinsideofmythighsandI
shuddered,hekeptgoingunti
lhereachedmy
tr
easure.

Hebentt
oki
ssmyt i
ghtni
ppl
eandhisfi
nger
s
sl
i
dinsi
deal
lthatdel
ici
ouswetness.
Iwasmoani nguncontrol
l
abl
e.Hethenswi
tched
offtheshowerandlif
tedme,Iwrappedmylegs
aroundhiswaistandhegotofft
heshowerand
gentleputmeont hebedaswetasIwasinfact
webot hwere.

Hefoundmysensiti
vecli
tori
s,Imovedmy
t
highsal
lowinghi
m accesstowhathewant
ed.
Heputapill
owbehindtoli
ftmeupabi t
.

ImoanedasYanda' stonguespearedi
ntomy
tr
easur
e, hekeptonteasing,eat
ingmytreasur
e
unti
lIf
eltIcoul
dn'tholdmyselfanymore,my
l
egsstartedtoshiver
,theybecameweakerand
weaker.

Me:
Y,,
and,
a
Ay
anda:
comebhabha,

Il
etgo,
andhecl
eanedmengol
i
miandwentt
o
mymouth

Me:
hmmm Yanda

Ispokei
nbet
weenki
sses.

Ay
anda:
that
'showy
ourj
uicest
ast
e.

Hewasi
nsi
dei
n2har
dthr
ust
s.

Me:
condom Yanda
Ay
anda:
zochi
thel
aphandl
abhabha.
Hefill
edme,hi
sthrust
sgotdeeperandI
t
ightenedar
oundhim, t
hefeel
ingi
ntensif
ied.I
f
oundmyownr hy
thm, meet
ingeachthrust,
t
akingevery
thi
nghehadt ogiv
eme.

Yandastar
tedtomoanashewentdeeper ,If
elt
Mtungwagrowingbiggerandbiggerinsi
deme,
hi
smov ementsbecamehar der
,mor epowerf
ul.

Yandawasatmyear ,
li
cki
ngi
t,hisfi
nger
s
scr
apingmybody.Ihel
donasl ongasIcoul
d,
unti
lhefi
nal
l
ylosthi
srhyt
hm.

Hestart
edsweari
ng,cal
li
ngmynameashe
cameinlongshudder
ingbur
sts,
hisbody
bucki
ngonme.

Ay
anda:
sozeungawuf
umani
loumsebenzi
wi
thsuchamor
ninggl
ory
.(Hesai
dthatt
ryi
ng
t
ocatchabr
eat
h.

Igi
ggl
ed

Weshowered,madethebedandgotdressed.I
wasonpoint
.Yandaaccompaniedme,
ubabomdal
awast ofol
lowl
ater,hef
ir
sthadt o
pi
ckIndyemsebenzi
nikaThandi
swacas
bengenau9

Iwentformyi nter
viewandMrMt iwasamong
thepeoplewhower einthepanel
,goodthi
ng
was,Iknewi nsandoutsofthecompany,which
madei teasyforme.IwasdoneandMrMt i
walkedmeout .
Mel
z:y
oul
ookgood
Me:
Mer
ci
Mel
z:t
hat
'smygi
rl

Ismi
l
ed

Mel
z:y
oucameal
one?
Me:
no,
myhusbandbr
oughtme
Mel
z:ohh
Me:
yes
Mel
z:Vi
rspr
echenunsbal
d
Me: t
hat'
snotfai
ryoumustspeakGermanand
t
ransl
atesothatIwil
lbeabl
etolear
nitf
ast
.
Mel
z:oh,
I'
m sor
ry"
wewi
l
lspeaksoon"
Me:
Sal
i
Mel
z:Adi
eu
Hewi
nkedatme

(Ohh,Mercii
sThankyou,Sal
iandAdi
eui
s
goodbye)Ihavel
ear
ntthehar
dwaynami.

Ilef
t,onemi
ssi
onaccompl
i
shed,
no.
2wasDNA
test
.

WepickedupThandiswaandwentt
othe
hospi
tal
,I
ndybezozanoMawande.Ayandahad
al
readydonet
heappointment
.Wegotin.

ThedoctorwasourGP,
wegr
eet
edandhe
greet
edusback.

Doc:
Khumal
os,
whatcanIdof
ory
out
oday?
Ayandaexpl
ainedt
her
easonwhyt
heycamet
o
seehim

Doc: ourlabstandardsampl esarebuccal

swabs, bl
oodspecimens, sampl essuchas
organt i
ssues,
hair,ci
garett
es,toothbrushes
andot herfr
equentusedper sonalit
ems

Ayanda:sodoctorsi
ncewearenotsurewho
thefat
herisandwearebrot
hers,i
sther
eany
chancethatwewil
lbothmatch,howaccur
ate
i
st hi
sDNAt est
?
Doc: ourresul
tsare100%accur ateand
i
ncl usive,
from 99%andabov ei
st hebiological
fatherandonl yifyouwereidenti
cal t
winsi twil
l
notbei nclusiv
easi dent
icalt
winshav esame
DNAbutasf oryou,youarejustbrothers.So
thereisnowayy ouwi l
lbothmat ch,whoev eri
s
99,
9ist
hef
ather
.

Mawande:
sodoct
or,
howsooncanwegett
he
r
esul
ts.
Doc: i
ttakes3to5wor ki
ngdaysforalabto
generat
ey ourDNAt estresul
tsaf
tert
he
specimenf r
om al
lthetestedpart
ieshavebeen
taken.

Ayanda:doc,can'
ti
tbesooner,caswear e
l
eavingonFri
day,wewillbebacknexty
ear,at
l
eastifwecangettheresult
sbefor
ewel eave.
Doc: Icanputyourspeci
menunderemergency
whichmeansy oucanonlygett
heresul
tson
Fr
idaybefore2pm.

Ay
anda:
thatwi
l
lbemuchappr
eci
ated.
Theirspecimenswer etakenandal lwasleft,
it
wasf orthelabtodeterminewhowast hef at
her.
Iwaspr ayi
ngi benguAy andahl ebathong,he
hadev eryt
hingexceptforingane.Wewentt o
dropThandi swaemsebenzi ni.Eziny
eizintoI
neverthoughtngingazenzabutt hereIwaswi th
Ayanda'sexi nonecar.That'slif
e.

Thandi
swa:
uzat
hini
uIndycasI
'
m goi
ngback
towork.
Ay
anda:
Iwi
l
ldr
ophi
m kowenu.
Me:ther
eisnoneedYanda,
I'
m notgoi
ngany
wher
e,Icanl
ookaft
erhi
m.
Ay
anda:
bhabha?
Me:
Idon'
tmi
ndhonest
ly
Ay
anda:
okt
hen,
ify
oui
nsi
st
Thandi
swa:
sur
e.
Wedr oppedThandi swaanddr ovet oCanal
walk.LordInev erbaby sitachi l
di nmyl ife, t
he
heelsIwaswear i
ngIhadt ocar rythem and
walkedbaref oot,hewasal lov erthemal l, best
thi
ngYandawast her e,hewoul dcar r
yhim now
andagain.Ebet hethaunonst op, Lordmyear s
wereburningf r
om l i
st eningandmyt hroatwas
dryfrom answer i
ngal lthequest i
onshewas
asking.WhenIdi dn'tpayat t
ent i
on, hewi l
l grab
myar m.IthinkIhav echangedmymi nd
zovumat oYandat ohav e6kidswi thhim
hhawucha.Weboughthi m cl
ot hes, toy
s
i
ncludingmyf latshoescasIcoul dn'tkeepup
withmyheel sandwentt oeat.Finallywewent
todrophimi nGugul ethu.Iwasf i
nished, all I
neededwasabat handmybed.

Wearri
vedathome,
Itookabat
handwent
st
rai
ghttobed
Ayanda:mustIf
etchhi
mtomorrowagai
n?(he
sai
dthatahl
eka,
Iknewbengi
gcona)
Me:
hhawuchangi
yabongababah,

Hel
aughedhar
d.

Ay
anda:
ikuf
umenel
alai
ti
Me:saythatagai
n,hadf
unt
hough,ev
en
t
houghIalmostri
deimot
ozengani
.

Hewasst
il
ll
aughi
ng.

Ayanda:y
ouwil
lmakeagoodmot
hert
hough,
I
'm pr
oudofy
ou.

Heki
ssedthetopofmyheadandpul
l
edmeon
t
opofhim.Isl
epti
nstant
.
>>>>>>>>>>

Fri
dayaf t
er11am,thedoctorfonedandsaid
theresult
sbezibuy
il
e.Wedr ovet ot
hehospi
tal
andwentt othedoctor
'ssuit
e.Thandiswawas
ther
et oo.Iwassit
ti
ngnexttoYanda.The
doctorgaveAyandaacopyofr esul
tsand
anotheronetoMawande

Wereadt
hroughthefi
nepr
int
sandi
twascl
ear
whothef
atherwas..
..
.

I
ngakaYanda.
;
-)
[
08/
18,
23:
40]Mca:
INSERT130

Babomdal
alookedatAy
anda,
Thandi
swat
hen
t
heDoct
or.

Doc: well MrKhumal ot heseni

ory ouarethe
fathertoIndiephile, I'
m sorryMrKhumal o
(Ay anda)y ouarenott hematch.IheldYanda,I
wassodi sappoint ed, NO!,Iwasbey ond
disappointed,IleanedonYanda' schest,he
heldmet i
ghtandki ssedmyf orehead.
I
ny embezi bezizehl ela.

Ayanda:noproblem doc,byt
hewayIknewI
wasnotthefather,t
hat'
swhyIinsi
stedon
doi
ngthepaternit
ytest.

Hemademel
ookedathi
m.

Ay
anda:I'
m sorr
yMarhadebe,Iknowhow
muchyouwantedIndi
phi
letobemi ne.
Me: at
leastIwi
l
lst
il
lbepar
tofhi
mthr
ough
babomdala.

Theychattedabitwi
ththedoct
or,
thenwel
eft
.
Wewal kedtothepar
kinglot
.

Mawande:uyi
njaThandi
swa,
y ouweregoi
ngt
o
denymethechanceofbei
ngthefat
hertomy
son.
Thandi
swa: whatwasIsupposet odo, whenI
foundoutt
hatIwaspr egnant
,Itri
edtot el
lyou
butyoumadeitclearthatawufunemtwana
wena,youwerestil
lenjoy
ingyourli
fe.

Ayanda: soofallt
hepeoplewhofuckedy ou,
youdecidedtocomeandl i
et omyf aceandsay
thebabyismi ne,
knowingexact
lythatthechil
d
wasWar a's,
areyouhappynowt hatumf azi
wam unj
ecasshet
houghtI
ndi
phi
l
ewasmi
ne.
Thandi
swa: bengazumv
avel
e,why
engazi
zal
eleabakhe.
Ayanda:t
hethaukuny
aagai
nandsee,
,
,,r
ight
nowIfeel
li
ke,,
,,

Hewentcl
osert
oThandi
swa.Ihel
dYandacasI
knewwhathewasgoi
ngtodotoThandi
swa

Ay
anda:
letgoI
nganat
hi
Me:nobhabha, whatyouar
egoingtodori
ght
nowy ouwil
lregr
etl
ater,
youknowthetr
uth
angi
thi,l
eti
tgo.

Ayanda:
Yer
rInganat
hi,
.
..
.Hewal
kedi
ntot
he
car
If
oll
owedhi
m.

Me:Yandawest
il
lneedt
odr
opThandi
swa
emsebenzi
ni
Ayanda:letherbl
ackasstakeherbackt
owor
k.
I
'm outofthi
sshit
,yahambaInganat
hior
uzashi
yekaapha.
Me:
youdon'
thav
etober
ude
Ayanda:wel
lMI
SSPERFECTwhydon'
tyou
dr
ivehert
oworkke.

Iswal
l
owedhar
d.

Ay
anda:
arey
ouhappynow,
thet
hakal
oku.
Me:
Yandapl
ease.
Ayanda:Yandapl
ease,
yousayYandapl
ease,
thi
sshitofy
ouyobacal
m akoand
nal
enhl
izi
yony
anayakhoecekecekei
sst
art
ing
togeti
ntomyhead.

Ther
egoesmyhusbandmayenomsi
ndo,Iwil
l
al
waysbehi
sst
ressball
.Mythr
oatwentdry
.

Me:
Ayandapl
easewear
einpubl
i
c,pl
ease.

Hecamecl
osert
ome

Ayanda:I
FYOU DI
DN'THELPZI
MASAKI
LLMY
CHILDINGANATHI
,BENDI
NGASOZE
NDIHAMBENDINAMATHELISWA
NGABANTWANAABANGASOBAM.

Thatwentst
rai
ghtint
othecor
eofmyhear
t,
whyAyandaalwayswhenhewasangr
yhe
broughtt
hat,
whichmeansheblamedmef or
l
osingSangeandhemeanteverywordhesai
d
thatdayhebeatZi
masamayethihedi
dn'
tmean
i
thewasl yi
ng.

Me:
taket
hatbackYanda.
Ay
anda:
TRUTHHURTSANGI
THI
?

Ij
ustst
oodt
heremotionl
ess.Heopenedt
he
doorf
ormeandlef
titopenandwenttohi
ssi
de.

Ay
anda:y
ahambaory
ashi
yeka!
Me:
Iwi
l
ltakeacab.

Isai
dthat,
bengingazi
zwakahlenalebengiy
isho,
i
twaslikemyear swentdead.Ayandadidn'
t
under
standint
okaSangeandOv ayo
bey
ingenzani
njebyt
alki
ngabouti
t,i
twas
worsewhenhesaidIhel
pedZimasa.

Ayanda:
NDZAKUNYATHELAKEMNA
MAWUPHAMBANANGENAEMOTWENI
SI
HAMBE.

Iwashear t
brokenwithwhatAy andasai d,
Itri
ed
tomov ebutmywhol ebodyst iff
ened,Icouldn'
t
mov e,
Iwasr eall
ystr
uggl i
ngtobreath,Ist
arted
tohyperv
entil
ateIfeltdizzy,
li
ghtheaded,Ihad
ablurvi
sion,thati
sallIcouldremember .

WhenIwokeupIwasi ntheward, Il
i
ftedmy
head,
Ihadater
ri
bleheadache,Ayanda, Msi
ra,
NdumieandMawandewer ethere.Ayandaheld
myhand.
Ay
anda:
bhabha

Ikeptqui
te,
IlookedaroundIt
ri
edt
othi
nkwhat
real
lybr
oughtmet her
e.

Oobabomdal
a:(
chant
ed)l
astbor
n

Me:
whatam Idoi
ngher
e?
Ay
anda:
youdon'
trememberwhathappened.
Me:
(Ishookmyhead)ouchhh
Ay
anda:
whati
sit
?
Me:
Itouchedmyhead
Ay
anda:
isi
tpai
nful

Inodded
Ayanda:faneleubethekengayo.Butdon'
twor
ry
thepai
nkil
lerswil
lstartki
cki
nginsoon,you
weregiv
ent hem thr
oughdr i
p.

Inodded

Ikeptqui
te,
Itr
iedsohar
dtot hi
nkwhatwast
he
causeyobandi
besesbhedl
ela.

Iremember
ed,theechoesofAy
anda'
svoi
ce"
IFYOUDIDN'
THELPZI MASAKILLMYCHILD
INGANATHINGENDINGAHAMBI
NDINAMATHISELWANGABANTWANA
ABANGASOBAMI "

Imov
edmyhandqui
ckl
yfr
om hi
m
Ay
anda:
bhabha

Ist
art
edshaki
ngandIwashy
per
vent
il
ati
ng

Ndumi
e:l
astbor
n

Ayandai
mmediatel
yrangthebel
l.Thenur
se
cameandtr
iedtocalm me,andf
inall
yIwas.

Nur
se:pl
easemakesur eyoudon'
tupsether
f
urt
herot
herwiseIwil
lbel
eftwi
thnooptionbut
t
oaskyoutoleave.

Shel
eftandmydoct
orcamel
ater
.

Doct
ors:
MrsKhumal
ohowdoy
ouf
eel
?
Me:
I'
mfi
nedoct
orexceptf
ort
heheadache.
Doctor:don'
twor
ryitwi
ll
goawaysoon,
we
havegiv
eny oust
rongpai
nki
l
ler
s,

Inodded

Doc:Mr sKhumal
o,wesuspectt
hatyouare
suf
fer
ingfr
om acondi
ti
oncall
edSyncope,

Irai
sedmyey ebrownev erheardofsuchl
ontoI
don'
tli
kedoctor'
sterminologiest
heyareway
toocompli
cated,Ayandast oodup.Thedoct
or
wentonexplaini
ng

Doc:itiscausedbyatemporarylossoft
he
brai
n'sbloodsuppl
y,i
tcanbenothingser
ious
buti
tcanbeasi gnofamoreseriouscondit
ion.
Mostcommoncausesoff aint
ingareasudden
dropinhear
trateandbl
oodpr
essur
eandt
he
cardi
accondit
ion.

Doc:isther
eanythi
ngthati
sstr
essi
ngyou
ri
ghtnoworthathasbeenstr
essi
ngyoufort
he
pastfewdays.

Il
ookedatAy
andaandl
ookedaway
.

Me:
nodoct
or

Doctor:ther easonwhyI 'm aski

ngy outhis
questi
oni tisbecause,fainti
ngnormal l
ytakes
fewsecondsupt oami nuteandfewmi nut
es,
butyourst ooklonger,I'm afr
aidi
tmi ghtbea
symptom ofaser iousheartcondit
ionthat
needstobecar efull
ydiagnosed.
Doc: I
ny oucasewesuspecti tisserious,your
heartbeatst
oof ast,
youhav eani r
regular
rhyt
hm, asyoucanseei nthatmachi net hati
s
monitori
ngyourheartbeat,whichisreduci ng
theamountofbl ooditsupposet opumpand
yourbloodpressureiswaytool ow.

Idi
dn'
tut
terawordallIcoul
ddowast ocry,
I
wassoheartbr
oken.Ayandakeptonbrushi
ng
myback.

Doct
or:ist
hereanyonei
nyourf
ami
l
ywhohas
acar
diaccondi
ti
on
Me:
yesdoct
or,
mymot
her
Doctor:itmi
ghthappent
hatyouinher
it
edi
t.I
n
thatcaseweneedtodothetest
sassoonas
possibl
e.
Iwillorganizet haty oudo, Pul seOxi metry,t
il
t
tabletesting, exercisestresst esti
ng, CTand
MRI ,i
fal l
thosef ail
edwemi ghtputy oui na
veryuncommont esti
ngf ewpat i
entsthatdo
thatitsaspeci ali
zedt estcalled
electr
opy siology ,i
tsaf orm ofcar di
ac
catherizati
oni nwhi chtheel ectri
csy stem ofthe
heartisev aluat ed,otherwisedon' tst ressall
willbef i
neMr sKhumal o,y ouar eoneofmy
youngestandst r
ongpat i
ent s,youhav ethebest
care.Al lyouneedt odoi stor elaxandst ay
awayf rom st ress, youaret ooy oungt ost r
ess.
Hebr ushedmyar m.

Doctor:(hel
ookedatAyanda),youhaveav er
y
youngandst r
ongwif
e,shehasbeent hr
ougha
l
otthisyear,
youhavebothbeenthroughalot,
youdeserveaholi
day,t
hinkabouti
t.
Ayanda:Iknowdoctor,
IknowI
'
m bl
essedt
o
haveheri
nmyl i
fe.

Doct
or:
seey
oul
ater
Ay
anda:
thanky
oudoct
or.

Iwastakenforall
thet ests,Ihavestopped
cry
ingbutmyt ear
sdi dn'
tstop, Ij
ustletthem
besengi
khat
helenozesul a.AfterIwasdoneI
wentbacktothewar d,Iwast oldnott ostress
butIwil
lbel
y i
ngifIsayIwasn' tst
ressing.

Ihav
eaccept edthefactthatIwasast hmati
c,
thef
actthatIhadtwomi scarr
iagesinayear
butt
hefactthatImi ghthaveCar di
acsyncope
wastoomuch, whoonear t
hwi shtohavea
hear
tezalokoibangucimicimiattheageof20.
Mfxmm butthatwasmyl ifeIhadtoaccept
whet
herIl
i
kei
tornot

Ay
anda:
itsal
lmyf
aul
tI'
m sor
rybhabha
Ndumie:ehhy
yfokofwenaval
alonyeke,I
wonderuSimany
eunyamezelentonikul
e
hool
igani
nguwe.

Thatwast hef i
rstti
meheari
ngbabomdala
akhul
umar ude,ifwewerei
nadiffer
ent
si
tuat
ionIwoul dhavel
aughedbutatthat
momentl aughingwast hel
astt
hingonmy
mindasforAy andaIwassonotgoingto
answertot hat.

Ijustst
aredint
otheceil
i
ngboar
dandwai
ted
fortheresul
tstodet
erminemyf
ate.

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
18,
23:
40]Mca:
INSERT131

Ar
ound3t
hedoct
orcame.

Doct
or:
I'
m af
rai
dIbr
oughty
oubadnews

Isatup.

Doct or:MrsKhumal o,youhav eacardiac

Arrythmiasdi sease,butIwi l
lprescr
ibey ou
Antiplat
eletsthaty oumustuse, unf
ortunatel
y
cardiaccondi ti
onsar euncurablebut
they(anti
platelet
s)wi l
lreducether i
skofy ou
getti
nghear tat t
ackbyt hinni
ngy ourbloodand
preventi
ngi tfrom clott
ing.

Ay
anda:
wil
lshebef
inedoct
or?
Doctor:y
esshewi l
lbefi
ne,aslongasshe
doesn'
tstopt
akingthem,asitmighti
ncr
ease
theri
skofatt
acks.

Ayanda:Iwi
l
lmakesur
eshedoest
aket
hem
doctor
.

Doct
or:good,
Iwi
ll
dischar
geher.Shewil
lbe
fi
neasal
ongasshetakesi
teasyandrest
s.

Hewrotedonetheprescr
ipt
ion,Iwas
di
schargedandwewentt othepharmacy.
YhaaaIhadClopi
dogrelt
otakeont opof
Si
ngularandmypumps.

Wewentt othepar
kingl
ot,
Ay andaopenedt
he
doorformeandhelpedmegeti nandwentt
o
hi
sside.Isankonmyseat,Iwastir
ed.
Wedr oveinsilent
.Wear r
ivedathomeandI
wentpasst heloungetothenur ser
y,It
ookof
myshoesandsatont hecouch.Icri
edsil
entl
y,
allofasuddenImi ssedmymot herIdeci
dedto
callher
.Iwipedmyt ears,sheistheonlyper
son
thatunderst
andsme.Shepi ckedup
i
mmedi ately.

Tot
i:Angel
kamhana
Me:
hel
l
owTot
i
Tot
i:howar
eyoudoi
ngmyangel
?
Me:
I'
m goodTot
iandy
ou?
Tot
i:I
'
mfi
nemybaby

Ikeptqui
te
Tot
i:banj
ani
ooAy
anda
Me:
all
wel
lTot
i
Tot
i:andy
ou?
Me:
I'
mfi
neTot
i
Tot
i:I
'
myourmot
herangi
thi
?
Me:
yesTot
i
Tot
i:t
ell
mewhati
sbot
her
ingy
oumyAngel
Me:
not
hingTot
i
Tot
i:khul
umanami
,kwenz
akal
ani

Ist
art
edcr
ying.

Me:
ever
ythi
ngTot
i,ev
ery
thi
ngi
samess
Tot
i:khul
umanami
keMar
hadebe
Me:
I'
m suchamessTot
i
Tot
i:y
oumaki
ngmewor
ri
ednow
Me:TotiIj
ustfoundouttodayt
hatIhav
ea
Car
diacarr
ythmiasdi
sease
Toti:
ohhJehova,Iwasprayi
ngt
hatyoudon'
t
i
nheri
tthat,
youaresti
l
lyoungmybabytoworr
y
aboutcardi
accondi
ti
ons

Me:
wil
lIbef
inekodwaTot
i?
Tot
i:y
ouwill
myAngel
,sukhal
akemybaby,
all
wewil
lfi
ne
Me:
I'
m scar
edTot
i
Tot
i:y
ouhav
eusandwegoty
ourbackal
way
s.
Me:
Iknow
Toti
:whenar
eyoucomi
ngt
hissi
de,
phel
aI
missyou
Me:wearel
eavi
ngtomorr
owt oCof
imv
aba,
we
wi
l
lspendaweekthensi
zekuni.
Tot
i:okkemybaby,
butar
eyousur
ethati
sal
l
t
hati
sbot
her
ingy
ou.
Me:
yesTot
i
Tot
i:Ihat
eitwheny
oul
i
etome
Me:
itsmeandYandaTot
i
Tot
i:whati
swr
ong?
Me: nothi
ngserious(ahhh,Iwasnotgoingto
gointodetai
lswithmymom )si bari
ghtsibuy
e
si
xabane.Ifeell
ikemymar ri
ageisabouttohit
arock.Ihavetr
iedTotibutIfeel
defeat
ednow.

Toti:ngumshadokelowomyangel but
bekezela,onet
hingIknowAy andalovesyou,
yesitwon'tber
osyeverydaybutkuzolunga.

Me:IneedamanualTot
ithatwi
l
ltel
lmehow
t
ohandleumshadowami.
Tot
i:unf
ort
unat
elysozeway
ithol
amybaby,
butIcangiveyoumyr ecipe,
thatIhavebeen
usi
ngkowami umshadousawubonaumi lenj
e,
zangekwalulanaki
mi butwit
hittrustme
kwashint
shakonke.
Me:giveitt
omet henTot
i.Thatwi
l
lbeof
gr
eathelp,y
ini
ley
o?
Tot
i:umkhul
ekomyAngel.Pr
ay,ther
eis
not
hingmorepower
ful
thanapray
ingwoman.
Me:butyouknowIcannotpr
ayToti,t
heonly
pr
ayerIcansayngubabawet
huosezul
wini
.
Toti:y
oudon'tneedtospeakinlanguages
Angel,j
ustpouryourhear
tkuNkulunkul
u,He
wil
ll
isten.

Me:
ngi
yezwaTot
i,ngi
yabonga
Toti
:youar
egr
owi
ngmyAngel
,I
'm sopr
oudof
you.
Igi
ggl
ed

Tot
i:y
ouwi
l
lbef
ine,
justt
rusty
ourGod.
Me:
sal
akahl
ekeTot
i,bi
ngel
elekubaba.
Tot
i:Iwi
l
l,Il
ovey
ou
Me:
lov
eyout
oo.

Idr
oppedthecal
l
.Istay
edther
etr
yingt
ocol
l
ect
mysel
f.Ay
andawalkedin.

Ay
anda:
Inganat
hi
Me:
notnowbhabha
Ay
anda:
Simany
e
Me:
weneedt
opackYandai
tsget
ti
ngl
ate.
Ayanda:I
nganat
hipl
easel
i
stent
ome,
noba
ngumzuzuomnye.
Iwalkpassedhi m andwentt othebedr
oom.He
foll
owedme.Iwentt othecloset,
tookoutmy
suit
caseandwentt ohisandtookhissuit
case,I
start
edpacking.Ay andacamet omeandhel d
myhands, Ibrushedhi m of
f.

Ay
anda:
bhabhapl
ease

Bengenzel
ainci
l
iki
thi
nje,
Ist
art
edcr
ying.

Me:noYanda, st
opwiththepretendence,
I
knowy ouhat eme, Ihat
emy sel
f,Iknowy ou
blamemef orint
okaSange, wel
lIblamemy sel
f,
Ihatemy selfYanda,notevenasingledaygoes
byngi ngamci ngibabezobanj
ani
.Ther eisno
pointinpr etendi
ngasifyouhavef orgi
venme
andt haty oulovemecasdeepdowny ou
haven'
tfor
givenme.Ift
herewasawayIwould
bri
nghim backyouknow,butIcan'
t,
Ican'
t
Yanda(Iwascr y
inguncontr
oll
abl
e)

Ayanda: I
nganat
hipl
ease,
youhear
dwhatt
he
doctorsai
daboutstr
essi
ngyour
sel
f.

Hecamecl
osert
ome

Me:
noYandadon'
ttouchme
Ayanda:
pleaseMar
hadebe,
Idi
dn'
tmeanwhat
Isai
dear
li
er
Me:
okYanda
Ay
anda:
Inganat
hi
Me:Isai
dit
sfineYanda,
yousai
dwhaty
ou
want
edtosay.
Ipackedf orbot
hofus,unti
lIwasdone,
oko
behlez
i phezukombhedewithhisheadf
aci
ng
downt henIwentdownst ai
rs.

Msi
ra:
lastbor
nar
eyouok?

Inodded

Me:
atwhatt
imear
ewel
eav
ingt
omor
row?
Msi
ra:
asear
lyas6:
30am ourf
li
ghti
sat8:
15
Me:ok,babomdal
a(Mawande)i
sitoki
fIgo
andseeI
ndyinGugul
ethu.
Mawande:(hel
ookedatmeamangel
e)any
time
l
astbor
n,heisy
ourstoo.
Me:
thanky
ou
Mawande:
Iwi
l
ldr
ivey
ou
Me:
noI
'
m okbabomdal
a,Iwi
l
ldr
ivemy
sel
f.
Ay
anda:
dri
vey
our
sel
ftowher
e?

Il
ookedback

Me:
I'
m goi
ngt
oseeI
ndy
,Iwi
l
lbebacksoon
Ay
anda:
Iam goi
ngwi
thy
ou
Me:
Iwi
l
lb.
..
..

Heranupst
air
sandcamebackwi
thhi
scar
key
sandmybag.

Ay
anda:
let
'sgo.

Welef
t,IaskedYandatof
ir
stpassdebonai
rs
andweboughtpizzaandl
eftf
orGugulet
hu.
Ayanda:I
'
m sor
rybhabhaf
ormaki
ngy
ourl
i
fe
compli
cat
ed.

Idi
dn'
tsayawor
d,Il
ookedt
hrought
hewi
ndow.

Ay
anda:
I'
m suchanasshol
e

Ikeptquit
e,wedrov eunti
lsif
ikaeGugul
ethu,
I
gotoff
,Indywasplayingoutsi
de,bizi
past
sevensobekusenelanga,heshoutedassoon
ashesawus.

I
ndy:
AuntI
nganat
hi

Ikneel
eddownandhuggedhi
mforalongt
ime,
thenIl
etgo,
Iwassti
l
lonmyknees.
Me:
hel
l
owboy
Indy:mol
o, uyali
l
akafuthi,
hetouchedmy
cheekswi
thhissmal lhandsthatmademecr y
mor e,
hetri
edt owipemyt earswit
hhishands.
Hehuggedmeagai nwandimbambazela
nchooongezozandlana.

Me:
I'
mfi
neboy
I
ndy:
arey
ouhappyl
ent
oul
i
la

Ishookmyhead

I
ndy:
ukubet
hil
elona.(Hepoi
ntedAy
anda)

Ishookmyheadagain.Ayandakneeleddown
nayeandhuggedusbot h,
Icri
eduncontrol
l
abl
e,
Indywancedi
sanay
e,final
lywestopped.I
huggedhimf orthelastti
meandkissedhi
sf or
head.Wewenti nsidewegr eet
edThandi
swa' s
sist
er,
Ayandawashobesi dl
ulanj
e,wamnika
theboxofpizza.Sav al
eli
sa.

I
ndy:
whenar
eyoucomi
ngback?
Me:
soonboy
,by
e,by
e
I
ndy:
byeby
e.

Welef
t,masi
fi
kaendl
i
ni,
Iwal
kpassedt
he
l
ounge..
.

Ndumi
e:l
astbor
n,supperi
sready
Me:
thanxbabomdal
a,I
'
m nothungr
y
Ndumi
e:y
ounev
erski
psupper
,what
'
sup.
Me:
not
hing.
Igoti
ntot
hebedr oom,wentt
oshowerand
woremypjs.Idecidedt
otal
ktomyGod, I
kneel
eddown.

LordJesus, Icomet oy ouwit

hnot hingbutmy
brokenhear t,thisist oomuchf orme.Ineed
yout ohealmyl i
fe, Ineedy outoheal my
brokenhear t.Ifeeldef eated,t
herei snothi
ng
l
eftinmebuthur t.Ifeel sobr
oken, myhear ti
s
tornapart.Ifeel weakt ogoon.Ngi njenge
gobhogobho(empt ybox)ngi yaphila,
ngiyaphefumul ay etsoempt y
.

Ifi
ndthesadnessov
erwhelming,Ifeel
therei
s
nothi
ngIcandobuttowait,waitinthi
s
desol
atedpl
aceandtrustt
hatsomehowy ou
canmeetme.

If
eel
li
kegi
vi
ngupi
nli
fe,
buthowdoIdot
hat
,
myhusbandneedsme, GodI '
m notangr ywit
h
him,heishur t
ingmeLor dbutIl ovehim, Iwil
l
neverbeangr ywi thhim,justguidehim Lord
andItrustthatsomehowy oucanr est
orehi m,
youcanr estor
eus.Gi v eusst r
engthLordaswe
will
beleav i
ngt opayr especttoourbabi es.As
i
zwi l
akhosay st hat"t
hosewhowal kwithYou
alwaysreacht heirdesti
nation".

All
Icandoisrest,r
estwit
hinyoursuff
eri
ng
andhopethatt
hroughyou,yourl
ove,your
for
giv
enessandyourstr
ength,Iwi
llwakeupto
anewday ,
anewdawnf ormyhear tandmyli
fe.
AMEN.

Voi
ce:
amen

Il
i
ftedmyheadi
twasYanda,hewasnextt
o
meaguqi
le,
hedi
dn'
tli
fthi
shead,
hestar
ted
sni
ff
ing.If
acedhi
m,cuppedhi
sfaceandwi
ped
hi
stears.

Ayanda:I'
m suchaj
erk,
j
ustdon'
tgi
veuponme
bhabha.
Me:
shhhh,
comel
et'
ssl
eep.
Ayanda:i
fther
ewasawayIcouldt
akeback
whatIsai
dIwil
l,Ir
eal
l
ydon'
tknowwhatgot
i
ntome.
Me:
itsokYanda.
Ayanda:
itsnotok,
whydoIkeeponhur
ti
ng
you?
Me:youar
ehumanbhabha,
comel
et'
ssl
eep,
si
yav
ukaekuseni
.

Hetookoffhiscl
othes,
gavemewaterandmy
medicat
ionandgotinbed.Hehel
dmet i
ghtas
i
fIwasgoingt ol
eavehimthatni
ght
,wefel
l
asl
eepi
nst
ant
.

I
ngakaYanda;
)
[
08/
18,
23:
41]Mca:
INSERT132

Wewokeupat5bat hedandgotr eady.Ayanda'

sdriverwasgoi ngtodr opuseai rport
.We
weren'tdrivi
ngsinceourf i
rstst
opwasi n
Cofi
mv aba,thenKokstad,thenfrom Mat at
iel
e
toPretoria.Wecheckedi nandi twasby eby e
Capet ownandhel lowEast ernCape.:-)

Iwashopi ngt hatallt

hepainandsuffer
ingI
wentthroughbengi zi
shiy
ainCapetownhence
wewer ecomi ngbackt hefol
l
owingyear.Al
lI
couldhopef or,wast hatmaybe,
may bethe
fol
lowi
ngy earwillbri
ngnothi
ngbuthappiness.
Mymot herusual
says"Bi
gbat
tl
esi
ndi
cat
ebi
g
bl
essi
ngsar eonthei
rway
"

WeflewdowntoEastLondon,wehi
redtwo
car
scausetheKhumalosbahambabonke
mabehamba,weweregoingtodr
opthecarsi
n
Dur
banonourwaytoPr et
ori
a.

Wedrov
etoCofi
mvaba,
itwasmeandAyanda,
t
henNdumie,
WaraandMsir
akwey
esibi
l
iimoto.

Ay
anda:
bhabhaar
eyoust
il
langr
ywi
thme
Me:
nonotatal
l
Ayanda:whatisi
tthen?y
ouhav
ebeenqui
te
si
ncethi
smor ni
ng.
Me:
I'
mjustt
hinki
ngYanda
Ay
anda:
aboutwhatbhabha?
Me: ther
easonwhywear egoi
nghome, f
ir
st
ti
meIwentt oCofi
mv aba,
Iwasgett
ingmarr
ied,
secondti
me, Iwasgoingt
odowifel
yduti
esbut
nowitsdi
ffer
ent.
Ay
anda:
Iknowbhabha
Me:
Ifeel
li
keIhav
efai
l
edmyki
dsandy
ou.
Ayanda:don'
tbeatyoursel
fthi
smuchbhabha,
andagainnamiI'
m sorr
yaboutwhatIsaid,
kumelengi
yakusupporternotndi
kwenzeufeel
e
worse.
Me:
nhaaa,
itscool
myeni
wam.
Ay
anda:
enkosi
Mar
hadebe.

Wearriv
edi nCofimvabaandev er
yonewas
happytoseeus.Lomzi besekhonanaye,
except
forZi
masat hanksGod.Makhul unayemademe
crynj
ewi t
hherhugsandki sses,r
ememberwith
bothmymi scarr
iagesIneverwenthome.
Wewer egoingtost
ayf
oraweekandof ft
o
Matat
iel
e,ther
ewasnoneedformetochange
casIwaswear i
ngmyMakoti
atti
real
readyfr
om
CapeTown.

Itr
iedt
oav oi
dLomziasmuchasIcoul d,Iwas
sonotinthemoodforhernonsenses,all
I
wantedtodowastodoumsebenzi f
orSange
andOvayonothi
ngmorenothingless.

EventhoughIwasav oi
dingherbutshewasst i
l
l
mymot herinlawandItreatedherwit
hsuch,
yeswangixoshakwakhebutbesi kwaMakhul
u,I
didn'
twanthertofi
ndoutt hatmymot heri
nlaw
hatesme,ibi
zovel
anaye.

Idi
dev
ery
thi
ngwi
thhumbl
eness,
Ayandaon
theotherhandwaswat chingmelikeIwas
goingtobr eak.Hewoul dconst
antlycomplai
n
thatIwasnotsupposet oworkhardbutIwas
uMakoti bengenzaokumel engi
kwenzile,he
wasv erysuppor t
iveshame,waytoosuppor t
ive.

IhadtodoAf ri
canbeer,andamahewu, wit
h
Makhulu'sguidanceofcour se,
eventhoughI
knewhowt omakeamahewuandAf r
icanbeer
butthi
stimeitwasdifferentIwasdoingforthe
wholevil
l
age,eventhoughumsebenzi wasfor
thef
ami l
yonlybutpeopl eabamenywaf or
umqombot hibayazi
zel
a.

Asusualmybrot
herinlawst
ogetherwi
th
Yandawerehel
pingme.Umsebenziwasgoi
ng
totakepl
aceonSatur
day.

I
twasWednesdayandIwasbusyezi
ko
ngi
phekaisiduduf orAfri
canbeer,Ayandahad
choppedwoodf orme, hewaswi t
hmeandwe
werechatt
ing,Iwentt ofetchwood,sowi t
hout
l
ookingIpickedupi nkuni,Ipi
ckedup
somethi
ngsl i
ppery ,
Ididn'
tevenlookatitI
thr
ewitaway ,Iscreamedl i
kenobody's
busi
ness.=-O

Thedayngiyal
wakul oYanda,Iwast ol
dthatI
mustnotshoutorscream egcekenil
akibobut
chaaonthatdayallofthosemiyal
owentaway
witht
hatsl
ipperyt
hingItouched.Ayandacame
rushi
ngnobabomdala.

Ay
anda:
whati
sitI
nganat
hi?
Me: ngibambeunomr hor
odzwane(wecal
lthat
i
nmyl anguageIdon'
tknowngeziny
e
i
languagesy i
ni)bhabha
Ay
anda:
whati
sthat?
???
Me:
aLI
ZARD,
YOUFOOL

Iwasj
umpi
ngupanddown,
Mawandecame.

Mawande:
nol
astbor
nit
snotal
i
zar
d.

Iwasr eal
l
yl osi
ngmymi nd,
Ihateever
ythi
ng
thatcrawl,Idon'
tj
usthatethem,I
'
mv ery
scaredofthem.

It ookof fmyscarf,Iwantedtotakeof fal

lmy
clothes,Icompletel
yf or
gotthatIwasumakot i
kwaKhumal o,butAyandawangi bamba, i
twas
l
ikei ngenengaphakat hi
kwam.I funalephobi
a
yami youwil
lunderstandhowIf eltatt
hat
moment .
Ayanda:yi
niWar
aley
ethuseuI
nganat
hi,
ifi
ts
notali
zar
d
Mawande:
itsasnake.

Awugil
i
kiqi
yana.It
hinkIf
aint
edcaswhenI
wokeupbengisembedeni
inourr
oom,myface
waswet.

Ay
anda:
bhabha
Me:
whathappened?
Ay
anda:
youpassedout
.
Me: t
hesnake!
!!
!!
!It
ri
edt
ojumpoutofbedbut
Yandahel
dme.
Ay
anda:
cal
m downbhabha
Me: howdoIcal
m down,
ngi
bambei
nyoka
Yanda.
Lord,youdon'tunderst
andngi
yesabanjani
i
nyoka, i
sencwadini
,Idon'
twat
chany t
hing
enezinyoka,Inev
ersawoneephilayongivel
e
ngiqhamukesengi y
ibamba.

Makhul
ucamei
nandsatnextt
ome.

Makhul
u:I
nganat
hi,
arey
ouokzukul
wana
Me:
I'
m notMakhul
u
Makhulu:Iunder
standzukul
wana,
butt
her
e'si
s
somethi
ngy ouneedtodo.
Me:
ewemakhul
u.
Makhul
u:t
hatwasnotj
ustasnakenguMaj
ola.
Me:
thatwasasnakemakhul
u
Makhul
u:t
hatwasoursnake
Me: yoursnake??
?Kanti
lakunezi
nyoka,
ngubaniofuyai
zi
nyokamakhul
u?
Ayandalaughedatme,Iwasnotr
eal
ly
,ngubani
ofuyai
zi
ny okaazi
thi
yenamagamakut
hiwe
ngooMajola

Makhul u:nozukulwana,umhawomy eniwami

(grand,grandmot herkaay anda)y i
yingu
Mamaj olaisi
bongosakhe, sothatsnakey ou
sawt herewet akeitasourancest or,we
respectit,i
tsoneoft hesweet estsnake, i
t
doesn'tbiteanyoneunlessuy asisukela.

Thi
swomanmustbecr azy,
call
ingasnaket
he
sweet
estsnake,
shewasreall
ylosi
ngi
t.

Makhul
u: i
tsbeenawhil
esi
ngasay
ibona,
infact
i
tsbeenyears,
youar
eluckt
hatyousawit.
Iwasgetti
ngmor econf
used,Ireall
ydi
dn'
t
underst
and,whatmakhuluwastalki
ngabout
andhowcoul donebehappynjeaboneinyoka,
l
etalonetouchi
ngit
.

Makhulu:t
hisisthesymbolt
hatt
heancest
ors
arehappywit
hy ouzukul
wanaandnomsebenzi
zahambakahle.
Me:
yhoooo
Makhulu:
Iknowi
tshar
dtobel
i
eve,
onemor
e
t
hing.
Me:ayhi
imakhul
u,t
hiswhol
ethi
nggi
vesme
cr
eeps.
Makhul
u:t
hatsnakei
sst
il
lther
e.
Me:
int
hatcase,
Iai
n'
tgoi
ngout
sidemi
na.

Makhul
u:weneedt
ogoandt al
ktoit
,
i
zohamba,
whichmeansi
doeklakhomel
eli
be
enhl
akwamehl
onet
yal
iuy
ombat
he,
kumel
e
uhl
oniphi
l
e.
Me:chamakhul
u,Idon'
tmeantodi
srespect
youmaar
a,I
'
m sonotgoingcl
osert
othatplace.

Makhul
u:y
oudon'
thav
eachoi
ce
Ayanda:hayi
makhuluayi
khoenyei
ndlel
a
engenzi
wangayongaphandl
ekobauIngaay
e
duzenayo.

Makhul
u:t
her
eisnoot
herwaymzukul
wana.

Istar
tedcryi
ng, hhawucha,Iwassonotgoi
ng
todot hat,
bingaseingahambi
ift
hatwasthe
case.

Makhul
u:y
oudon'
tneedt
obecl
oser
,toi
t,j
ust
takewi t
hy ouimaliekhanyayoevenifit
sR1
soyibekaduzekway o,Ayandawillt
alktoi
t
ayit
yenet hatutywalaobenzayobobayo,
banigcinelei
zinganezenu, andbani
phe
nenhlanhlanifumaneezinyeizi
ngane.
Me:Yandapl
easedon'
tmakemedoi
t,pl
ease
Mt
ungwa.

Ayanda:itwon'
tbit
ey oubhabha,
awuzusondel
a,andy ouwil
l cl
osey
ourey
es,
I
wil
lberi
ghtnexttoyoualltheway.

Iwassor eluctanttodoitbutmakhul udi

dn'
t
seem hewasgoi ngtoletgo.Igavein,asIwas
approachingtheplaceuboy abami babume
bonke,IthoughtthatIwasgoi ngtodieonthat
day,ngi
yesabai dwetyi
wei nyoka.
Me:
YandaIcan'
tdot
his
Ayanda:y
oucanbhabha,
wear
eal
mostt
her
e,
youcandoit
.

Iwasshaki
ngkukwesaba, bekumelengihlezi
pansit
orespectast heywer
etal
kingnay o,
bashi
yaneR2, Iwentbackt
oourr oom,Itook
offal
lmyclothes,Iwassonotmy self
.

Ay
andawal
kedinaf
tersomet
imeandt
ouched
me,Ij
umped.

Ay
anda:
itsmebhabha,
I'
m sor
ryi
fIscar
edy
ou.

Bengi
ngaf
uni
nixengi
thi
ntay
o.

Lat
er,
makhul
ucame,
Ihadt
oputt
hedoekon
andcov
ermybody
.Shesatnextt
ome.

Makhulu:
Icamet
ochecki
fyouar
eok
zukul
wana
Me:
I'
mfi
nemakhul
u

Makhulu:Imadey ousweetwater,ukhal
e
kakhul
uanddon'twor r
yaboutsupperoo
Ayandabazopheka,youneedtorest
Me:
ngi
yabongamakhul
u.

Makhul
u:andy
ourv
isi
tori
sgone.

Iexhaledi
nrel
i
ef,butwher
edidi
tgo,
whati
fit
crawledit
swaytothehouse.

Makhul
uwentont
ell
i
ngmehowl
uckyIwas,
wasmakhul userious?Yinieluckyekubambeni
asnakegeez, shet ol
dmehowi tusedtov i
sit
may esandakushada,sometimesshewoul d
fi
ndbabakaAy andaadlalanayoezingubenij
ust
aft
erhewasbor n,apparent
lyumakhuluwaf i
ka
mamazal awakhesekashona.

Iwantedtobeliev
eherbutti
llt
oday
andi
kabeliev
e,whatki
ndofababyedlal
a
nenyoka.Shel ef
tbesengi
ngconobuttobe
honestIhadnightmaresthr
oughouttheni
te
onthatnight.

DayswentbyFr idaykwahlat
y wa,Saturdaywe
wokeupasear l
yas4am kwabekwa
ababhodwe, Iwast ol
dthatthesnakewasgone
andtheR2i bi
ngekhobutintoehl angene
nenkunibengidl
alel
akudenjenay o.Waqali
swa
umsebenzi ev
erythi
ngwentwel l.Abasisi
babethi
ngizel
eimal
ikaYandawer
ether
ebesi
sebenzanabo.

Wewer edoneandwesati
ntheki
tchen
bebezi
ncokol
elanj
e.

Lady1:
I'
m sor
rySi
many
efory
ourl
oss
Me:
thanky
ou

Lady2:itmusthav
ebeenhar
dfory
ouandy
our
husband
Me:
yesi
twas,
sti
l
lis

Lady1:buty
ouar
est
il
lyoung,
youwi
l
lhav
e
babi
es.

Ismi
l
ed.
Lady3: butdon'
tgetcomfortabl
ekesisi
,
amadodaawamt handiumt uongazal
i
yo,
yawuthiuthi
kanti
umt usezenzel
eabantwana
ngaphandle.

Yhoo,Ineverfel
tsoinsecureninani,
Idoubted
myfemi ni
ty,
itwaslikeuYandauzongenaat hi
i
tsover.Iwantedtogoandf indYanda, askhim
i
fusenamadoubt snangat hi.I
tstruewhent hey
saywordscanbui l
dordestroyy oucompletely.

Theycont
inuedt
alki
ngbutforme,Iwas20000
mil
esawayf r
om whereIwasngemicabango,

Othert
hanthatev
eryt
hingwentwell
,ourbabies
werenamedproperl
yandwesaidbyeby eto
cofi
mvabaandhell
owKokstad.Ir
eall
ymi ssed
home.

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
18,
23:
41]Mca:
INSERT133

Wel ef
tCofi
mvabaandar
ri
vedinKokstad
around1pm,ooTot
iwer
ewaiti
ngforus.They
havebeenfoni
ngonourway.

Wegr eetedeachot her,

Ireal
lymissedmy
parents,
niyamazikeuAngel kaTotiwhenshe
seesherpar ent
safterawhi l
e.Pit
yausiNtsoaki
,
bengekhoesehol i
dayini
,Imissedher.

Dad:I
fIknewAngelbeshadaonkeamadodana
akwaKhumalongengakhuphul
aIl
obol
angit
hi
5xkul
engayi
biza.
Msira:usul
atekebaba(t
heyal
lcal
lmydad,
baba)

Theyal
ll
aughed

Dad:
wel
comemadodana
Ndumi
e:Si
yabongababa

Si
nceitwashotwewentt osi
tinthepati
o,I
wenttochangemyclothesi
ntoshort
s,amadaki
emzini
,ekhay
azishort
s.

Idowearmini
skir
ts,
andshort
sekhayabutnot
bum shor
tsmydaddoesn'
tcompr
omise.Iwent
tosi
tondad'
slap.

Tot
i:Angel
comeuzongi
l
ekel
elasenzei
snack.
Me:
chaTot
i,I
'
mti
red

Ay
anda:
Iwi
l
lhel
pTot
i
Toti
:thanky
ouAy
anda,
angi
zal
angaphel
alaku
Angel

Ay
andastoodup,t
heycameaf
tersometi
me.
WeateandIwenttowasht
hedishes.

Wewer
echat
ti
ngandl
aughi
ng,

Toti:soIhav
ehear
dthatumakot
iusey
akwazi
upheka.
Me:
ahhTot
i

Tot
i:ngenzeni
vel
e,howdi
dyoudoi
tAy
anda
Ayanda:tr
ustmeTot
i,i
twasami
ssi
onbut
ev
entual
l
yshegoti
tri
ght

Tot
i:Inev
ert
houghtshewi
l
lbeabl
etocook
Me:angit
hi,
Iwasnotal
l
owednear
amabhodwe.

Toti:ukhul
euceke-cekephel
a,Iwasalways
afr
aidthatyouweregoingtoburnyour
selfand
wit
hy ourheal
thcondit
ion,
Icoul
dn'
tletyouand
Idi
dn'tknowuzoshadausemuncaneso.
Me: wangi
bhakakeToti,t
hedayy
oulef
t,Iwas
supposetocookyhooo,
Iwassweati
ng.

Theyal
ll
aughed.

Tot
i:t
henwhathappened.
Me:youunderesti
matemeTot
i,i
twaseasy
pi
zzy,Icookedphel
aandev
ery
bodybemunca
i
mimwe.

Theywer
est
il
ll
aughi
ng.

Dad:
youcooked?
???
?
Me:
ofcour
sedad

Msira:yhooIgi
veupl astborn,dad,i
fitwasn't
forNdu,wewouldhav ebeenadmi t
tedin
hospit
althewholefamil
y.Wewoul dhav edrank
waterabethiul
astbornyigravyandIveggies
bezi
zosibukazi
ssizel
e.
Me:
ahhbabomdal
a.

Dad:
maar
ahowdi
dyoul
ety
ourbr
otheri
nlaw
cookf
ory
ou
Ndumie:ngafi
kaemeinthemi ddleofthe
ki
tchenngathi
shewasgoingtopassout
sengi
yabuzawhyar
eyoust andinghere?

Dad:
whatdi
dshesay
?
Ndumi e: "
Idon'
tknowwhatt ocook
babomdal a"(hewasimitati
ngmyv oice)
sengit
hi babayoumeany oudon'tknowhowt o
cook,Ireall
yhadtojumpi nandhelporletme
putitt
hiswayIwasbl ackmailedint
ocooking.

Tot
i:t
hat
'smybabyf
ory
ou,
shei
sgoodi
nthat
.

Theyr
eal
l
ylaughedatme.Isul
ked.

Mawande:
nangokeuseqal
i
le
Dad:
Ireal
l
yfeel
fory
ouAy
andamyson
Me:
youar
ebei
ngunf
air

Toti:nceseMar hadebe,
sosi
nceusukwazi
upheka,siphekel
wanguwentambama.
Me: chaToti,
Ineedsomether
apy,
Ihav
ebeen
cookingnon-stopi
nCofi
mvaba.

Tot
i:ohhmypoorchi
l
d.
Msir
a: don'tbef
ooledbylastbor
nToti
,we
werecookingeversinceshesawasnake,
she
nev
erwentneart hepots.

Tot
i:whatsnake?

Theyt
olddadandTot
ithesnakest
ory
.
Dad:maarainyokaihl
anganakuphi
namabhodwa,kuphekel
waendlini
angi
thi
?
Mawande: dadyoudon'tknowlastbor
n,she
wil
luseall
thetr
icksshecanfindjustt
oget
awaywithmurder.

Dad:Ithoughtt
hatumshadozokushi
ntsha
Angel
.
Me:Iwastraumat
izeddad,
Iam st
il
l
t
raumat
ized.

Dad:
foraweekpho?
Me:
yebo

Dad:Igi
veup,
Icanof
fi
cial
l
ycal
lyouabul
l
y
Angel
.
Ndumi
e:adi
plomat
icone
Me:
ahhbaba,
whi
chsi
dear
eyouonv
ele
Dad:
def
ini
tel
ynoty
our
smyAngel
.

Iwentt
osi
tnextt
oAy
anda.

Me:
Yandakhul
uma.
Ay
anda:
angi
zi
ngeni
nje.

Me:
Ihat
eyoual
l

Ist
oodupandwentt
otheki
tchen.
Toti:
ukhipei
nyamal
aphouzopheka.(She
shouted)

Hhabel
omamabeser
iouskant
i.Iwentbackt
o
t
hepat
iongi
ncume.

Me:
Iwast
hinki
ngy
azi

Theyal
lkeptqui
te.

Dad:
aboutwhat
?
Me:
thatwegooutt
oni
te

Dad:
andwhoi
spay
ing
Me: i
sitnotobvi
ous,notme,I
'
mt heonlyone
whoisastudenthere,wher
eam Igoingtoget
R1500yokhokhel
aIbill

Tot
i:y
ouwer
ewor
kingAngel
Me:
noTot
i,Iwasst
udy
ing,
thel
astt
imeI
checked,noonehasat t
endedmygr aduati
on
yet,whichmeansI'
m sti
llastudent
.Bytheway
youallowemeal unch,Ipassedmyt hi
rdyear,
nextyearI'
m gr
aduati
ng,weneedt ocelebr
ate.

Dad:
butwehav
en'
tseeny
ourr
esul
tsy
et.
Me: that
'snotaproblem i
fIf
ail
ed,
wi l
lref
und
you.Sosiyavumelana,wegoi
ngout
,ifnotke
akuzudli
wake, andmyhusbandwon'tletme
sleepngil
ambil
e.

Dad:ok,ok,
youwi
nSi
nenhl
anhl
aRhadebe,
we
wil
lgoout
Me:
thanky
oudad,
youar
east
ar

Iwentt
oki
sshi
scheek.
Dad:uAy
andaukumoshi
l
ewena,
youar
ever
y
spoi
l
t.
Ay
anda:
Ican'
tsaynot
oherdad
Dad:
youneedt
ost
artl
ear
ningt
osayno.

Wewentt ospurandate.Wewerechatti
ngand
l
aughing,t
henwewentbackhome.I twasafter
11,akekhonjebebukekangat
hiuzayol
alasoon.
Myfonebeeped,Itwasansms, Ireadi
t.

Ay
anda:
Imi
ssy
oumf
azi
wam.

Il
ookedathi
m andsmi
l
ed.Hewi
nkedatme.
Me:
missy
out
oobabah

Ay
anda:
didy
out
akey
ourpur
seemot
weni
?
Me:
no
Ay
anda:
let
'ssaysi
yol
anday
ona.
Me:
younaughtYanda.

Ay
anda:
makei
tqui
ck.
Me:
ok.

Ist
oodup

Me: Tot
i,wher
ei sthekeyforthecott
ageI
wannaseeifzi
rightforobabomdala.Iknew
t
heywerenotgoi ngtosleepthere.
Tot
i:i
nmyr
oom,
ont
hedr
essi
ngt
abl
e.

Iwentt
ofet
cht
hekey
sandcameback.
Ay
anda:
letmeaccompanyy
ou.
Me:
thanksbhabha.

Wegoti nt
ot hecot tage, helockedt hedoorand
pi
nnedmeont hedoor .Weki ssedhungr i
ly,hayi
i
twast oomuchbesi funananomy eni
wami .We
hadu"QUICKI E"#dontj udgepl ease#: -
*we
cl
eanedour selvesandwentbackt ot
hehouse.I
don'
twannal ieIf eltsogui l
tyasi fmypar ents
bebebonarightt hroughme.

Dad:wegoi
ngtosl
eep,
youwi
l
lsor
tyour
sel
ves
bani
l
alanj
ani
.
We:
nit
ebaba.

Mawande:yerrhambanohl
ambani
na,
amehl
o
enuangumphanonje.
Ay
anda:
fokofWar
a,woy
indabazakho.
Iwassoembar
rassed.

Aft
er1,wedecideduyolala.Noonewant edto
goandsleepecottage.Iwassonotgoi ngto
sl
eepinonebednoAy andaendli
niey
odwawi th
myparentsev
ent houghwewer emar r
ied, i
tfel
t
sowrong.

NdumieandWar aweregoi ngt

osleepi nthe
sparebedroom.SoYandaandMsi rawer egoing
tousemyr oom ,Iwasgoi ngtosl
eepel ounge
ecouch-ini
,butyouknowMrGodzi lla,he
ref
usedt osleepnoMsira.Sowesl eptel ounge,
hetookthe3seat erandItooka2seat er,sowe
wereallsort
ed.

Wechat
tednoYandaaboutr
andom t
hings.
Ay
anda:
bhabha
Me:
Yanda

Ay
anda:
whati
sbot
her
ingy
ou?
Me:
not
hingYanda

Ayanda:si
nceSatur
day,youar
enotyoursel
f,
youmayt r
ytohi
deitbutIcanseeandfeelt
hat
youarenotfi
ne.
Me:
noYanda,
youar
eimagi
ningt
hings

Ay
anda:
am I
?
Me:
yesbhabha

Ay
anda:
bhabha,
youar
emywi
feIknowy
ou
Ikeptqui
te.

Ay
anda:
bhabhat
alkt
ome
Me:
bhabha,
doy
oudoubtus,
ourl
ove

Ayanda:nobhabha!
!!(Hesatup)whyar
eyou
aski
ngthat?
Me:
I'
mjustaski
ngbhabha

Ay
anda:
tal
ktomeI
nganat
hipl
ease
Me:since,Ihaven'
tgi
venyouachil
d,hav
ey ou
ev
erthoughtofuyomenzaphandl
eorleavi
ng
me.

Ayanda:I
nganat
hiKhumalo!
!howcanyoueven
thi
nkofsomethi
ngli
kethat
,nobhabhanotev
en
asinglesecond,
SHI
T!!Ther
eisonl
yoneper
son
whocanmakey ouf
eeltheway,
youdo,
Mamzo
angit
hi?
Me: nobhabha,
oneofabamokotibesisebenza
nabo,sai
dsomethi
ngengenzengazidoubta.

Ay
anda:comeher
e

Iwenttohi
m andhemademesl
eeponhi
s
chest

Ayanda:
don'
teverl
etanyfooli
kudoubt-
isemy
l
ovefory
oubhabha,i
ntoyomtanai
zonzekela
Me:
doy
oul
oveme?

Ay
anda:
wit
hal
lofmyhear
t
Me:
youknowYanda,
Inev
ert
oldy
out
hisbutI
doubtIwi
l
lev
ersur
viv
ewi
thouty
ou,
youar
e
mylif
enow

Hehel
dmet
ight

Ayanda:Ihavebeenwaiti
ngforagestohear
yousayi
ngthatbhabha,Ievent
houghtthatyou
don'
tlov
emeasy ouclai
my oudo,youdon't
knowwhatitmeanst ohearyousayi
ngthat.
Me:
justdon'
tl
eav
eme

Ay
anda:
thatwi
l
lnev
erhappen.
Me:
thanky
oubhabha,
letmegoandsl
eepke.

Ay
anda:
nosl
eepl
aki
mi
Me: doyouwantmydadt
oki
l
lusordi
eof
hear
tatt
ack.
Ayanda:babavukaat5:
30,
wewill
setanal
arm
for5:
00thenyouwil
lgoandsl
eepiny
our
couch.

Itookhisfoneandsetthealar
m.Isleptontop
ofhim,itwassafe,t
herewasnowaybabaand
Totibebezovukabef
ore5:30theirbedr
oom
wasanen- suit
e.Wekissedkancane.Wef el
l
asleep.

Wewer ewokenbyt
hev
oicebi
sho
phezukwet
hu.

Voice:ngi
yav
elel
way in,yimihl
olayani
le
yenzekaemzi
niwami .(Itwasmydad, ohhohh,
Ipret
endedasifIwasasl eep,Iwasafrai
dto
evenopenmyey es)Ay andashookme: -
\
Ay
anda:
bhabhav
uka

Irubbedmyey
es,
dadwasst
andi
ngr
ightnext
tous.

Dad:
nit
hini
kuphi
la?

Imovedfrom Ayanda,honest
lytherewas
nothi
ngwrongthatwedi dexceptthatIwason
topofhi
m, wewer en'
tnaked,Iwasonmypj s
sowasYanda.

Ay
anda:
siy
axol
i
sababa
Dad:usezamathaAyanda,
uzi
sindi
sa
ngal
onongqovuunguAngel
Ayanda:benenight
maresbaba,It
hinkt
he
snakethi
ngayi
kasukikakuhl
e.
Dad:
whoar
eyouf
ool
i
ng?

Ay
anda:
noonebaba
Dad:ncncnc,nganezamanj
e,whenIcome
backni
beni
vuki
le.

Hel
eftandwegi
ggl
ed

Dad:
ngi
yezwanj
alo
Ayanda:
comeher
e,Idi
dn'
tgetmymor
ning
ki
ss.

Wekissed,
wewerei
nter
ruptedbytheal
arm,it
wassupposet
ogooffat5not6mf xmm.We
wenttobat
handmadebreakfast
,mabevuka
abant
uwewer
edone,
thet
abl
ewasset
.

Msi
ra:whatdi
dwedot ogett
histreat
ment
f
rom y
ouguys?I'
m notcompl
aini
ngthough.
Dad:
badl
i
wawunembeza.

Msi
ra:
whatdi
dtheydo?
Dad:
askt
hem

Msi
ra:
whatdi
dyoudo?
Me:
don'
tl
ookatme

Ay
anda:
nam nj
alo
Mawande:
youmeandadsawy
ouumhmm,
,
,

Dad:
siy
adl
anj
aloMawandeandI
'
m ol
dfor
ukhul
umal
ezont
o

Weal
ll
aughed.

Dad:Iwil
lgoandfetchmyshambookngi ni
fake
i
sbhaxunonke,zi
njanikant
ilezi
ngane.

Welaughedhar d.Weat eandcleaned.Oobaba

wereleav
ingntambamat oMat at
iele,
thi
na
besi
zoyaonThur sday.Thecleansingwasgoing
tobeonSat ur
day .Ev
erythi
ngbizokwenziwa
ngooToti,
mhaandmamkhul u.

I
twasti
mef
ormypar
ent
stol
eav
e.Wepr
ayed
t
oget
her

Dad:
umuzi
wam akuy
onai
cir
cus,
siy
ezwana
andNdumisol
ookaft
ert
hesef
ool
s,It
rustyou
andangi
funemant
ombazanal
anapar
ty,
arewe
cl
ear
?

Weal
lchant
ed"
yes"
.Theyl
eft
.

KaSesothobari"
kat
sehaelesi
yotweba
di
ahl
onaka"(i
ftheCati
sawaythemincewi
l
l
pl
ay)

Ay
anda:
wher
ear
ewegoi
ngt
oni
te?
Msi
ra:Shay
amoy a.(Shay
amoy
aisoneoft
he
t
ownshi
pseziseKokstad)

Weallagr
eedthatsi
yakhona.Wedr
ovet
her
e.
I
nganebezisay
odlal
a
I
ngakaYanda.
;
-)

[
08/
18,
23:
44]Mca:
INSERT134

Thereisnothi
ngmucht hatwedidkulamal
anga
wewer einKokstadexceptf
orpart
yingand
part
ying..
..
..
..
..
..

I
twasThur sdaymorni
ng,
wewerel
eav
ingafter
11.Iwasintheki
tchenwi
thNdumi
emaking
breakf
ast
.

Ndumi
e:l
astbor
n
Me:
babomdal
a

Ndumi
e:whati
swr
ong,
youar
esodi
stant
Me:
no,
youar
emi
stakenbabomdal
a.
Ndumie:youar
elastbor
nandpleasebe
honestwi
thmewhatisbother
ingyou.
Me: ok,Iwillbehonest ,hearmeoutand
pleasedon'tbeangr ywithme, Ilov
ey ouand
withallofmyhear tandt hi
shasbeeneat ingme
upIwant edt otellyoubutIt houghty ouwon't
notice.I
'm notcomf ortablearoundy ouinfact
aroundallofy ouany mor e.NotthatI'm sayi
ng
thereissomet hingthaty ouhav edonet omeor
somet hi
ngeni zoyenzabutI '
m sonot
comf ort
able.

Ndumie:isitbecauseofl
ant
okaMawande
andThandiswa.

Inodded.
Ndumi
e:Iunder
standl
astbor
n.
Me: honest
lyItakeyouasmybloodbr
other
s
babomdala,hav
ey ouseenhowIwasar
ound
youguysbutnotits,
,
,

Henodded.

Me: f
irstIheardXhantital
kingtoAyandaabout
meuf i
kakwakhe, t
henitwasVi dowhoalmost
ki
dnappedorr apedmei nt henameofhel oved
me,andi twasMawande, whooncedeclared
hisf
eelingsforme.LentokaThandi swareall
y
mademeseey oudiff
erently
.Iam notj
udging
youbutputy oursel
finmyshoes.
Ndumie:youhav eeveryri
ghttofeeltheway
youdoaboutusl astborn,
Iunderstandaslong
usyoudon'tshutmeoutpl ease.
Ismi
l
ed.

Ndumi
e:Igoty
ourback.
Me: Iknow, butnani pleasekhani act-
erli
ke
adults,youaremaki ngi tdi ff
icultforme, you
don'tunderstandhowdi f
ficultitistokeepup
withall t
hesesecr etsj ustf orpeacesakeandI
hatelyingtoAy anda.Ikepti ntokaVi dofrom
Ayanda, casIdi dn'twannar uintheirfri
endship,
nowI 'm carr
yingt hissecr etkababomdal awi t
h
me, thatmightr uinthewhol ef amily,shouldu
Ayandaangezwanj eubauMawandehas
feel
ingsf orme, Iknowf orsur esozekubekuhl e
soIr athersufferwi t
hi tthant obreakt hef amil
y.
Doy ouseei baaf f
ect akanj ani abany eabantu
l
entoy enuy obasel f
ish?
Ndumie:Ididn'
tknowlastbor
n,yer
r
ooMawandekodwaar eanimals,
butyoudon'
t
havet
olastborn,wemustaccountforour
act
ions.

Bedaki
weloAyandamay
embul
eleubabomdal
a
whatdoIdo.

Me:no,babomdal
athi
str
ustme,
Iwi
l
lrat
her
di
ewit
hit.
"
Diewi
thwhat"t
hatwasAy
anda

If
roze,
Idi
dn'
tdar
elookback

Ndumie:wewer et
alki
ngaboutl
astbor
n's
car
diaccondi
ti
on.
Ayanda:ohh,It
houghtsheiskeepi
ngasecr
et
fr
om me,bhabhaI'
m hungryMarhadebe,
ni
gqibani
nikanti
.
Iexhal
ed.

Me:
almostdonebhabha.

Weat
eandIcl
ear
edt
het
abl
e.

Msi
ra:
Ithi
nk,
I'
minl
ove

Weal ll
ookedatMsir
a,wewerer eal
lysurpri
sed,
Msirainl
ove??UMsiraandMawandei f
bekuthi
waumt uyayi
fumanaIawar dforbeinga
pl
ayerinobangesebafumanai1000y azo,so
doesAy andamabesho.

Mawande:
inl
ove,
hel
aughedhar
d
Msir
a: I
'
m bei
ngseri
ous,
Ilov
edmanygi
rl
sbut
i
tsdif
fer
entwi
ththi
sone.
Me:whataboutBuhl
e?It
houghtt
haty
ouwer
e
i
nlov
eguys
Msir
a: Buhl
eknows,t
herear
enostri
ngs
at
tachedbetweenus,shei
shel
pingmewhenI
am i
nneed.

Me:
yhooIdi
dn'
tknow.
Msi
ra:
don'
twor
rysheknows.

Me: wel
li
nthatcasebabomdalaifyoufeel
she
i
stheone,gi
veitachance.Ngabal
alel
i
oobabomdal
a.Uzani
niumakotiekhaya.
Msir
a: sl
owdownl
astbor
n,I
'
m notr
eadyt
o
askherahandi
nmarri
age

Me:
bet
terucabangesoon,
phel
aI'
m si
ckand
t
ir
edubay
ifemal
endedwakwaKhumal
o.
Ay
anda:
ntwanaar
eyouser
ious?

Msi
ra:
deadser
iousTaAy
la.
Me:
whati
shernameandngowakuphi
?

Msir
a:henameisHl
engiweNgobesef
rom
Lady
smit
h,shei
sworki
ngaphakwamasipal
a
Me:
Ilov
eheral
ready
.

Msi
ra:
trustmey
ouwi
l
l.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Aswewer
edri
vi
ngt
oMat at
iel
emyf oner
ang,
it
wasMrMt
iAKAMel
z,Ianswered.
Me:
goodaf
ter
noonMrMt
i
Mti:guet
enAbig,Wi
egeot
situr
iel
iebl
i
ng
(goodafter
noon,
howareyoudarl
i
ng)

Yandagavemeacol
dlook,It
henputmyphone
downandanswer
edi
tthroughthecar
's
bl
uetoot
h.

Me:
I'
m goodsi
randy
ou?
Mt
i:Guet
e(good)
,sodi
dLesegophoney
ou.

Me:
nosi
r,butshesentmeanemai
l
.
Mti:
good,Iexpecty
outorepor
tatwor
kont
he
8t
hofJanuaryandcongr
atul
ati
ons.

Me:
yessi
r,andt
hanky
ou.
Mti:and,Ihavef
oundyouaprivatetut
orthe
bestoneforGerman,Iwi
llf
orwar dyouher
numbers,makesureyouusethem, andif
fi
nanci
all
yy ouwon'
tbeok,Iwil
l pay.

Me:Iwil
lfoneheranddon'
twor
rymyhusband
wi
l
ltakecareofthatandt
hanky
ouagai
n.
Mt
i:Adi
euPr
inzessi
n(goodby
ePr
incess)
Me:
sal
iSi
r

Idroppedt
hecall,Ayandacli
nchedhisjaws.
Izul
ubesel
iguqubeleal
readybekushi
yeke
kunethei
zi
khukhula.

Ay
anda:
andt
hen?
Me:
what?
Ayanda:si
ncewhendoy ouspeakfor
eign
l
anguagesandwhyndi v
anamhl anj
e,ngenye
i
ndodaInganathi
thatumf azi
wam ubefunaa
Germantutor
.

Ikeptquit
e,Iknewi
biy
aphi
yonkel
o
conversat
ion.

Ayanda:I'
mtal
ki
ngtoy
ouI
nganat
hiandy
ou
bett
eranswerme.
Me: uMtiubenokungi
fundi
sasometi
mes,Iwas
notl
ookingforonebutItoldhi
m wemuststop
si
nceIdidn'
tfeelcomfort
ablewit
hhi
m,Iguess
hefoundonef orme.

Ay
anda:sonowIcan'tevenaffordt
opayf or
mywif
e,eny
eindodaboldlysay,hewil
lpayfor
mywif
e,whatdoyoubot htakemef or
I
nganat
hi?Whatam It
oyou,
atoy?
Me:
nobhabha.

Ay anda: damny ouInganathi!

!youare
disrespectfulandI
nganat hil
etmetellyouthis,
subonandi t
hule,I
'
m notaf rai
dofanyone, keep
onpi ssingmeandent er
taini
nglakakay ouwill
bot hregret.

Hepunchedt
hest
arr
ingwheel
.Thecarswang
kancane.

Me:
mindt
her
oadYanda
Ay
anda:
mindt
her
oadwokuny
aInganat
hi!
!

Isankonmyseat
.
Ayanda:whyarey
oulear
ningGer
man,
arey
ou
tr
yingt
oimpressl
akaka.

Ikeptqui
te.

Ayanda: Si
manyeKhumalo!!!Youar
eaboutt
o
hi
tmyl astner
ve,y
ayi
funalakaka?
Me:
noYanda.

Nci
nci
nci
,hehal
fcl
osedhi
sey
es

Ayanda:youbett
ernotInganat
hi,otherwise,I
WILLSNEEZEONCEANDTHATBASTARDWI LL
CATCHAFLU, Idon'
tmakeempt ythreats
I
nganathi
.Iwi
llpai
ntthatci
tyusi
nghi sfucken
bl
ood.
Yhoo,
Ikeepqui
tekemnauAy
andamay
esengu
Godzi
l
la.

Wedr ov etoMat at
iel
e.Yearsbacki twasKFC
andChi ckenLi ckenaphoubunof umanaukudla
khona.Wedi dn'thaveoospurnoNandosbutat
l
eastwehav eWi mpyanddebonai rsnow.We
wenttokf candboughtf oodandbought2
buckets,phelaekhay amasiphel
eleonebuckets
alonel
i.Wesatandt heyate,Idon'tandnever
l
ikedKFC, whiletheywerebusyeat ingIwentto
buysani tarytowelskwadi scom,itwasdiscom
thenIdon' tknowubi zwangani ngoku.E
Mat at
ieleitsamessngoDecemberay i
khonje
i
ndawoengagcwal iyo.

Iboughtt
hem,wentt
opayandl
eft
.Whil
eIwas
walki
ngbackt
oKFC,someoneshout
edmy
name.
Voi
ce:
ausi
Pri
ncess

ItwasNtant
i,shecamer unning, Ihuggedher,
I
wasabouttoaskheri fuzey edwanha, whenI
l
ift
edmyheadImetwi thMuso' sbeautiful
smile,
Icoul
dn'thelpbutsmi l
eback.Hewas
withThat
ohisy oungerbrother,weshar eda
hug andweexchangedgr eetings.

Hewaswayt oofi
ne,Icoul
dn'tst
opsmil
i
ng.
Thatdaymademedoubti fIwasreal
l
yover
Musoormay beIwasindenial.

Muso:
youhav
en'
tmetThat
o
Me:
no
Muso:t
hat'
smyl i
tt
lebr
otherThat
o,That
othi
s
i
sAusi
Princess
Me:
nicet
omeety
ouThat
o
That
o:ni
cet
omeety
out
ooausi
Pri
ncess

Muso:her
e(hegaveThat
ocarkey
)wai
tfor
meint
hecarI
'm comi
ng.
Ntati
:ahhhabut
i ,
youarebei
ngunf
air
,Iwant
t
ot al
ktoausiPr
incess.

Muso:
kat
sat
sil
elengNt
ati
(someday)
Nt
ati
:by
eausi
Pri
ncess.

Shehuggedmeandt
hel
eft
.

Muso:
oyakae(wher
ear
eyougoi
ng)
Me:
sipar
k-engakwaKFC

Muso:
wit
hwho?
Me:
myhusbandandhi
sbr
other
s.

Muso:ohh(Icoul
dseehewasdisappoi
nted)
sowhatbr
ingsyouher
e,youhar
dlycomet hi
s
si
de.
Me:
I'
m goi
ngf
orcl
eansi
ngezi
l
ali
ni.

Muso: I
'
m sorryPr
incessf
oruloseri
ngane
yakho,yousuchasweetsoulyoudon'tdeser
ve
t
ogot hroughwhatyouwentthrough
Me:
makei
ttwo.

Muso:
hakeut
lwi
sise(Idon'
tunder
stand)t
wo
?
Me:
yep

If
akedasmi
l
e,Icoul
dfeel
tear
sthr
eat
eni
ngmy
ey
es.

Muso: ohmyGodIdidn'
tknowaboutt
he
secondone,
whathappened?
Me: wewereinv
olvedinacaraccidentno
Yandaandthebabydidn'
tsurvi
ve.I
twasbad,
ver
ybadinawayt hatkeyetsephephel
oya
madi(Idi
dbloodtransf
usion)

Muso:
I'
m sor
ry
Me:
nha,
itscool
I'
m al
i
ve,
aren'
tI

Muso: don'tworr
y,asIsai
dGodukubekel
e
okuhl
e, youwill
havekidsoneday
.
Me:
Idoubtt
hatv
erymuchPr
ince.
Muso: don'
tdoubtGodPr
incess,
ever
ythi
ng
happensforareason.
Me:
yhanhee

Muso:
youar
ever
yst
rong,
that
'
swhyIl
ovey
ou.
Me: (Ismi
led)I
'mtr
yinghey
,Ineedtogo,
I'
m
sur
eooAy andaar
estart
ingt
opanicnow.

Muso:
ofcour
se,
itwasni
cet
oseey
ou
Me:
li
kewi
se.

Muso:
andy
oul
ookst
unni
ngasal
way
s.
Me:
sodoy
ou

Muso:
andt
hanky
ouf
ory
ourt
ime.
Ismi l
ed,hehuggedmeandl etgo.Hewas
smi l
i
ng.Thewayhesmi led,thewayhi seyes
l
ightenedup, Godwangikhumbuzat hedayI
said"IloveyoutooPri
nce"si ki
boIwasi ngrade
10,15y earsold.Musowasonesoul kodwa,
verycalm, t
heopposit
ekaYanda, butIlov
ed
myYandaasangeneanj alo.Hewasmy
everythi
ng.

Muso:
Pri
ncess
Me:
(Isnappedoutofmyt
hought
s)mhmmm

Muso:
arey
out
hinki
ngaboutme
Me:
me?no,
Iwon'
tdot
hat(Ismi
l
edshy
ly)

Muso:t
henwhyarey
oulooki
ng,
smi
l
ingatme
asi
fuf
unaungi
ncami
sa.
Me:
youwi
sh.

Muso:
I'
mjoki
ng.
Me:
byet
hen

Muso:
ber
ightmyPr
incess
Me:
Iwi
l
l

Iwalkaway,hedi
dn'tmov ewher ehewas,he
watchedmeasIwaswal kingstr
utt
ing
beauti
ful
lyonmyheels.Ilookedback,hewas
sti
l
lthere

Me:
hambaphel
a(Ishout
ed)
Muso:
ngi
sabukahhawu.
Me:
daki
we,
bye
Igott
oKfc,
ooYandaweresti
llt
her
e,Isat
down,t
heywer
ealmostdone.

Msir
a:hayibol
astborn,what'
supwit
hy ou?
Youhavebeensmili
ngsinceyoucameback
aphousukakhona,
udibenenesdal
asakhona?

Idi
dn'
tev
ennoti
cethatIwassmiling.Iknew
Msir
ameantwel
lbutthat
,thati
bizandicost
-er
.

Me:nobabomdal
a(Isai
dthati
nadef
ensi
ve
t
one)

Ayandabengohl
ohlengamehlo,Il
ookedaway,
bengat
hiabaqedicasAyandakepton
murderi
ngmengamehl oakhe.Fi
nall
ytheywer
e
doneandwel ef
t.
Ayanda: soudi
benenal
ankunkumaanddon'
t
l
ieInganathi
.

Mashanohaler
uisemotho(l
i
esdonotpay)
andIl
earntt
hehardway
.

Me:
yesbhabha
Ay
anda:
usamt
handa?

Ikeptqui
te

Ay
anda:
usamt
handanaI
nganat
hi!
!!

Yhooo,
Isankonmyseat
.
I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
18,
23:
45]Mca:
INSERT135

Ay
anda:
bhabhaanswermeMar
hadebe
Me: Idon'tl
ovehi m anymor e,Ilovey ou,only
youAy anda.Icannotj ustwr i
teof fMusooutof
myhear t,wesharedki sses,l
ov eandaf fection,
i
nawayhewi l
lalway shav easpeci alplacei n
myhear tandIwi l
lalway shaveaspeci alplace
i
nhishear t,
yeshehur tmesobadl ybutI
for
gav ehim.Iam y oursnowandonl yyours, my
heart,bodyandsoul belongst oy ou,Isowi sh
youcanunder standt hatandst opdoubt ing
yourself
.

Besesi
hambaont
hegrav
elr
oad,
hepul
l
edof
f
andcametomysi
de.
Ayanda:someti
mesIdof
orgethowl
uckyIam
tohavey
oui nmyli
fe.

Weshareahugandaki ss.Wearri
vedathome
andasusualmyfav
oratelady(makhulu)was
wait
ingf
orus.Wegreet
edev er
yoneandshe
ki
ssedusall
emlonyeni
,Iwaslaughing.

Thinawewer egoi
ngt osl eepekhayaandthe
adult
swer egoi
ngtosl eepemzi niomdala
i
ncludingmyparents.IsleptnoYandai nmy
bedroom atl
eastIfel
tcomf or
tabl
ecasIwas
notgoingtobeinthesamehousewi t
hmy
parents.

Sat
urdaywafi
kaandthecl
eansi
ngwentwel
l.
Aft
erthecl
eansi
ngwe(AyandaandI)were
cal
ledbydadtoesbay
eni
.
Dad: Ayanday ouar emysonnowandwhi l
eI
wasinCof imv abaIdidn'tseeney odwainkomo
ki
ni,soIdeci dedukukuphawul el
aey odwa,i
ts
st
il
lacal fbutizozalaezinint
si.It
'suptoyouif
uf
unay ohlalakiniIwill
ar r
anget r
ansportor
uf
unai hl
alelangi zozwangawe.

Ayanda:ngi
yabongababat hatreal
lymeansa
l
ottomebutIpr ef
erihlal
ela,Iwil
lhel
p
ubhadal
aumtuowel usayo.

Dad:
nodon'
tst
ressaboutt
hat
,it
ssor
ted
Ay
anda:
thanksdad
Dad:
anyt
imendodana.

Me:
whataboutme?
?
Dad:
uyi
ndodakabani
wena

Isul
ked.

>>>>>>>>>>

Wewereleavi
ngonTuesdaybutooTot
iweren'
t
l
eavi
ngwithus,theywer
egoi
ngtospendthe
hol
i
daysezil
ali
ni.

ItwasMondayev
eni
ngandIwaschecki
ngmy
email
s.

Me:
Yanda,
lookatt
his,
itsf
rom HR
Ayanda:shi
t!!
!Sot
hisi
sthemoneyy
ouwi
l
lbe
earni
ngmontly
.
Inodded

Ay
anda:
yer
r

Il
aidmyheadonhi
schest
.

Me:
Yanda
Ay
anda:
bhabha
Me:si
ncenextyearIwil
lbeworki
ngful
lti
me, I
wast
hinki
ngthatyoustopgiv
ingmemont hl
y
al
l
owanceandIwillpayformyGermanlessons.
Ay
anda:
I'
mli
steni
ng.

Me: Iwasalsothi
nki
ngthati
bey i
mi okhokhel
a
ourregi
str
ati
onsatUnisaandourfees,you
havealotoyenzay
oandi t
snotfai
rony ou.
Ay
anda:
Iheary
ou,
arey
oudone.
Me:
yesYanda
Ayanda: Inganathi,youar emywi feandy ou
will
alway sbe, soasf ory onkelento
uyit
het hayo, I
'm gratef
ul thatundicingel
a
bhabhabutt hereisnot hingezoshi nsha,y
ouwil
l
sti
llgety ourmont hlyallowanceandIwi l
lpay
forever yt
hing,don'twor ryaboutmeIhav e
everythingundercont r
ol,youjustkeepon
savingy ourmoneybhabha.

Ishr
uggedmyshoul
der
s.

Ayanda:comeher
e,(
Itur
nedandheki
ssedme)
Il
oveyou.
Me: andIloveyoutoo,anothert hi
ngbhabha,
asfrom t
he10Oct obernexty ear,Iwill
beout
ofmypar ent
smedi calai
dsi nceIwillbe21and
wil
lnolongerbeast udentbutbababet heaka
minduzandif
akaasanudul tngiqhubekenayo.
Ayanda: nobhabha,youaremyr esponsi
bil
i
ty
now,letuslookforoursandIreall
ycannot
aff
orduhlalewit
houtamedi calaid.
Me: r
emindmet omorr
owndibuzeuTot
i
yey
iphiwi
thbet
terbenef
it
s.

Ay
anda:
Iwi
l
landt
hanky
ou.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Wel ef
tlateonTuesdayandsl eptinKokstad
andWednesdaywel eftf
orPretori
a.We
droppedthecarseai r
portandflewtoLanseria
Airpor
t.Wehiredagainbutonlyonecar ,
oo
babomdal aweregoingtousei motokaXhanti
yesibi
ni.Xhantiwasther
eezosi hl
angabeza
withhisgir
lfr
iend.Wedrov et
oHat fi
eld,
we
dr
oppedourbagsatXhant
i'
splacethenwe
wentf
orl
unchatRhapsody'sl
ounge.

Ok,asmuchasngi zi
zacele,butI'
mt hisperson
whoeatsImeanl otoffood,Idon'tdostart
ers,
bomagreensalad,ngi
yast r
aightkwimai n
courset
hengreensaladwhenI 'mf ul
l
.

Me:
uzodl
ani
bhabha
Ay
anda:
lent
oozoy
idl
a.
Me:
ok

Soweor
der
edst
eakandpor
kri
bs

Lusanda(Xhanti
'sgi
rlf
ri
end):Ifi
nditv
ery
unatt
racti
vei
ntombazanaedl
alikeyougir
ly,
its
aturnoffemadodeni
.
Ok,Idi
dn'tl
i
keher,shewassof
ull
ofher
self,
ev
eryt
hingwasabouther,
methi
s,methat.

Me:
Ilov
emeat
Lusanda: sti
ll
,youshoul dhookupwi thme, I
willt
eachy ouoneort wothings.KwelocalaIdo
haveat alenttot urnruralandt ownshipgi
rls
i
ntosupermodel s.Ekapaazi khoindawo
zokwenzai nai
ls,(i dontli
kear ti
fi
cial
nailnot
thatangisenz i
)Ilikeyourweav eit
sar eal
deal,I
mustsayI '
mi mpr essed

Me:
bengi
yaezi
l
ali
ningi
yosebenza
Lusanda:ohht
hatshi,
I'
m sonotagi
rlf
ort
hose
stupi
dthi
ngsezenzi
waezil
ali
ni.

Me:
ohhh
Lusanda:honey
,uzodl
ani

Xhant
i:r
ibsandst
eak
Lusanda: no,nohoney,youcan'thavethat
,
l
et'sfi
rsthavesnai
lsforstar
ter
st henfi
l
let
funghi
.

Ay
andawhi
sper
ed

Ayanda: asezabit
yaamany eamadodaedl i
swa
i
mi nenke(snail
s),i
fungandidl
isaezozi
nto
bhabhaungaphumangor eversekwethu.No
wonderXhant isekabasisi
yoyoyoyil
eminenke
egcweleaphaesi swini
.

Ibur
sti
nlaught
er.
Lusanda:
car
etoshar
ewi
thust
hej
oke.

Iwasst
il
ll
aughi
ng

Ay
anda:
nhai
tsbet
weenmemyt
urnof
fwi
fe.

IknewuYandabegcwelesi
sgezo,
Ipr
ayedu
Lusandaangamphushi
.

Lusanda:soAyanda,Xhant
itol
dmeyouare
marri
edbuthedidn'
ttel
lmey ouar
emarr
iedto
a16y earol
d.

Ichoked.

Ayanda:y
haIam mar
ri
ed,
hef
orgotonet
hing
though
Lusanda:
yini
ley
o?

Ayanda:thatIdidn'
tmar
rya16y
earol
dbuta
toddl
er(hegrinned)

Ipokedhi
m

Lusanda:
sogi
rl
y
Ay
anda:
Inganat
hiorSi
many
e

Lusanda:myapol ogi
es,sowhatdoyoudofor
l
eaving,
casI'm surey
ouareadropout,
besi
des
bei
ngAy anda'sli
tt
letr
ophy,

Xhant
icl
earedhi
sthr
oat
.Ay
andaspoke
bet
weenhisteet
h.
Ayanda:thi
sbi
tchi
sgr
indi
ngmenowI
nga(
he
whisper
ed)
Me:leaveitt
omebhabha, Igott
hisunder
cont
rol
.(Iwhisper
edback)

Me:
fornowIam ahousewi
fe
Lusanda:aren'
tyouashamedofy
oursel
f,att
his
age,youproudlysayyouar
eahousewif
e.

Me:
whatel
secanIdo,
Ilov
emyhusband.

Ndumi
ewi
nkedatme.

Lusanda:Ifi
nditver
ystupid,
that
'
swhyI
'm
studyi
ngv
er yhar
dsot hatIwon'
tfi
ndmy
selfas
ahousewife.
Ay
anda:
don'
tyout
hinky
ouar
elat
eal
ready
,
youshoul
dhav
edonet
hatadecadeago.How
oldar
eyou?

Lusanda:
aladydoesn'
ttel
lherage.
Ayanda:nha,
don'
twor
ryt
hef
acet
ell
sthaty
ou
ar
eold.

Shehel
dherf
ace.

Lusanda:ohhmygoodness,
doIhav et
eabags
undermyeyes,
shetookhercl
utchbagand
rushedt
othebathr
oom,Xhanti
fol
lowedher.

Ireall
yf el
tforbabomdalashame,theguysall
l
aughed, Yandahighfiv
eme.Shecameback,
don'tthinkshekeptquite.Shewasreal
lyonmy
case, Ifai
ltounderst
andwhyusgi r
ls
masi dibanainst
eadofenhancingoneanother
wedoourl
evel
bestt
ohumi
l
iat
eeachot
her
.

Lusanda: Il
ikeyoureyelensesI
nganat
hibut
notformet houghIfindpeopleabaf
akaIl
enses
ver
yf akey
.

Icoughed

Ay anda: don'
tyoufi
ndt hatstat
ement
cont r
adicti
ngwithyourlooks.Youscream I
'
m
FAKE, lookatyourself,
youlikeaBarbiedol
l,
toomuchmakeup, fakeeyelashes,
fakenai
ls,
plasti
cwi g
Lusanda:
that
'snotawi
git
saweav
e

Ay
anda:
eit
herwayi
tsapl
ast
ic
Xhant
i:t
hosear
enotl
enseshoney,
ngamehl
o
kal
astbor
n,nakamamakheanj
eya.

Lusanda:
mhmm?
?

Thosewhosawmypi cthatIupl
oadedngo
November ,
theydohav eanideaofwhatI'
m
tal
ki
ngabout ,asIsai
dbef or
e,myeyesare
weir
difungandijongi
sisangakahl
eyoumight
real
lythi
nkthatIhavelensesnakaToti
keare
l
ikethat.

Me:
Iwasbor
nli
ket
hat
.
Lusanda:
ohhIsee

Xhant
i:sol
astbor
nwheni
syougr
aduat
ion?
Lusanda:
graduat
ion?
?
Xhant
i:y
eshoney
Lusanda: whati
sshegraduati
ngfor,I'
m sure
i
tsthoseN' s,
Ihat
ethose,i
tsli
kethosepeople
whowi ll
beboasti
ngthattheyhavegraduated
atUniversi
tyofPr
etor
iaabeafundiswengemali
yebeerorTEFSA(nowNFSAS)

Ay
anda:
youar
eonet
wist
edbi
tch.

Ial
waysthoughtubabomdal
ausmar
tbuty
err
i
galf
ri
endyakheyamuncuhur
eee

Me:Ar ey
ousayi
ngonl
yri
cheswhohav
ethe
r
ightt
odothat
?
Lusanda:
whynot?

Me:
Idon'
tknow,
casI
'
m notr
ich,
butwhatI
knowi sthatri
chpeopledon'
twal karound
wearingtheirr
ichesonthei
rforeheadsonly
thosewhowantpeopl etothinkthattheyare
ri
chdot hat.

Shef
rowned.

Me: sowhati
swr
ongngof
undi
swangemal
iye
beerorNFSAS
Lusanda:t
wowrong,
minamypar
ent
sar
e
payi
ngformyf
ees.

Me: that'
sgood,butaphoimbi khonaabany e
ababhadalelwabytheirpar
entswillfocuson
boastingaboutukhokhelwazipar
entsf or
get t
ing
abayizel
eyoet er
ti
ary,
againIdon'tseeany thi
ng
wronguf undangemal ikaNFSAS, notallofour
parentscanaffordtopayforourfeesbuti t
doesn'
tmeant heydon'
twishf orthei
rki
dsto
havediplomasorMasters,notallofuswewill
havediplomasanddegrees,notallofuswewill
makeitt oUni
versi
ti
esorUniversi
tyof
Technologi
eshencekukhoIFET' sandthose
N's.

Ify
ouknowwhaty ouwant
,wher eyouwantto
bethoseN'sungazif
uni
yoLusandacangety ou
far
.WhatIli
kengabantuabafundiswangu
NFSAS, mostofthem t
heywor kthei
rbut
tsoff
castheyknowattheendofthedayt heyneed
topaybackthemoney .

Asfort hoseabafundi
swengemal iyotshwala,
yobuginsaory eprost
it
uti
on, Irespectthose
peoplewhohav egoneextr
ami lesjusttomake
surethatt hei
rlovedonesdontendup
kul
endawobakuy onotthatIpromot ethose
thi
ngsbutIrespectthem,whatwouldhurtme
themostistoseeaper sonforget
ti
ngwhere
sheorhecomesf r
om aphaphenabarichabe
theper
sonamf undisayoaphephaIbul
letsand
ari
skangoli
fewakhe.Sobef orewejudge
peopl
eitsbett
erifwef i
ll
thei
rshoesfi
rst.

Ndumi
e:wel
lsai
dlastbor
n.

Ayandal ookedatmeandwi nked.

BenginyanyisauLusandaasol dasshewas
becabangal ikeaspoil
tbrat
,Idon'
tli
keumt
uo
sofullofherselfazeakhohl
wengabanye
abantu.

Me:asf
ormygr
adbabomdal
a,izabangoApri
l
,
doy
ouwantmetoor
gani
zeati
cketforyou?
Xhant
i:ofcour
se,
Icannotmi
ssi
t
Me:
consi
deri
tdone
Lusanda:
sougr
adel
aforwhatI
nganat
hi.

Xhant
i:NDi
nChemi
cal
Engi
neer
inghoney
.
Lusanda:
ohhh,
Isee.

Weorder
eddessertandweorder
edMal
ve
puddi
ngandcust
ardnoYanda.

Lusanda:ist
hatwhatyoufeedyourhusband
Inganat
hi,
Xhant
iknowsjunkfoodisanono.
Me:
wel
ovei
t.

Lusanda:youhavealongwaytogodarl
i
ng,
I'
m aproincooki
ng,i
zokushi
yawenal
endoda
yakho,Imustgi
veyousomet i
ps.
Ayanda:wellIdon'tcarei
fshecancookornot
ndamtshatandimazi t
hatshecan'
tcook
anywaymymar r
iageisnotsomeki ndofa
perf
ectsi
sheboshowekwazi engakwazi
uphekaIloveherqha.
Lusanda:
doy
ouhav
eahel
per

Me:
no,
mostoft
het
imeYandacooks.
Lusanda:Modimo,Ayanda, doyoucall
that
umshado,whatwasthepoi ntofget
ti
ng
yoursel
fawi
feifshecan'tcook.

Xhant
iclear
edhisthr
oat,obabomdal
a
bebemjamelengat
hibazomdla.Onet
hingf
or
sureMawandewasf edup.

Ay
anda:
wel
l
,formeLusanda,
owam umf
azi
akanant oy akwenz awi t
hdomest ically
attri
butesorcooki ngski ll
s.yesmywi fei s
beaut i
fulasy oucansee, shei sreall
ybeaut if
ul
(hel ookedatmeandki ssedmycheek, I
blushed)andi nbedt rustmeshei sabomb,
that'
swhyIwi llki
l
l anymany awuzenj ei cinge
twicengay e.Doy ouknowwhyIl ov eherand
onlyher, whyImar riedherengakwazi upheka
anjalo,ezonqenel aanj alo,i
tsbecause, she
respect smyst r
uggl es,shedoesn' tj
udgeme
butwor kswi t
hme. Ihav eonlygr ade12andshe
i
sagr aduat ebutshei snotashamedofme, in
herey esI '
mt hekingofherhear tandey es, she
i
snotsel fish,Ihav eadar kpastbutshe
overlookedi t,Ihavef l
awst oomuchf laws, no
onet oleratesmybul lshitnotev enmybr others
butshei spat ientwi thme, sheappr eciat esmy
whol ebei ngnomat t
erhowdi ffi
cultIam.So
thereisnobi t
chezazondi xelelaumf azi wami
mel eabenj ani,don'tcar eeveni fit
smybr other'
s
bitchorQueenEl i
zabet hher self
,soonewor d
fr
om youumny
elanzakuny
athel
a.(
Hesai
dthat
aphol
i
le)

Wef
ini
shedeat
ing,
set
tl
edt
hebi
l
landl
eft
.

Wehadf uninGaut eng, wewoul dli

stent oMi ss
Lusandagoi ngonabouther self,
itwasof fi
cial
thatbebengaf unanunoYandapoi ntblank,we
wentt oGoldr eefcit
yinJobur g,theywentf or
thri
l
lrides,hay ikabibutheightsandmedon' t
meetandwi thmyhear tcondit
ionIcoul dn'
tlet
myadr enali
nebepushed.Theywentf orGolden
l
oopandr unawayt r
ainr i
de.Thenwewentt o
Casino, guy
sgambl edkancane, Yanda
wadliwawandi za.

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
18,
23:
47]Mca:
INSERT136
Foll
owingSaturdayi
twasXhant
i'
sfriend
bir
thdayaccordi
ngtoXhant
iwewereal so
i
nvited.Wefi
rstdrov
etoHazel
deanshoppi ng
centre,ooAyandaboughtt
hei
rdri
nks.

TheKhumal o'
sli
ket obuyt hei
rownst uffke
bethunasebemeny i
we, t
heyboughtJameson
18y earol
dasapr esentforXhanti'
sf r
iend.God
Iwillbedamnedifumunt uangangithengela
utshwalaasabir
thdaypr esentbutIguess
asit
habiswazi
ntoezifanayo.

AyandalikeBluelabel,soheboughti
tand
bathenganeBr acaso.ThenwedrovetoXhant
i'
sfri
endpl aceinSil
verl
akesGolfest
ate.

Wegoti
ntoXhant
i'
sfr
iendpl
ace,
itwaspacked
alr
eady,t
hecar
sshout
edf
rom adist
ancethat
theywer
eswimmingi
nZAR.OkIsawaf amil
iar
face.

OneGuycametousIGuessedhewast he
bi
rt
hdayguy,
hegreet
edus.Xhant
iint
roduced
us.

Hi
m:wel
comeguy
s.

Hel
ookedatmeasi
fuy
aci
nga.

Xhant
i:i
sther
eany
thi
ngwr
ongThoz
Him:howrudeofme,
Iknowy
oubutIdon'
t
knowfr
om wher
e.

Ial
soknewhi
m butIdi
dn'
tknowf
rom wher
e.I
t
ri
edt
othi
nkhar
dbutnot
hing.

Hi
m: ohhhyes!
!Tell
meI '
m notdreami
ng"t
he
cr
ybaby"yhoobannathecrybaby!!

Ismil
edshy ly,
itwasbhutiThokozani ,
ubehlala
3housesawayf r
om myhomei nouroldhouse
i
nKokst ad,buthewasoldert hanmeabout
Ndumie' sage.Heusedtot akemet oschool
andpickmei fuTotibengenal ateoraphuma
l
ateemsebenzi ni
.Sohewoul ddr opmewi thhis
l
itt
lesi
sterNanaandIwasf orevercryi
ngt hat'
s
whyhenamedmeCRYBABY.Thel astti
meI
sawhimi twaswhenhepassedhi smat r
icI
wasingr ade6,bengekengimazi hewasf ine

Thokozani
:mycr
ybaby,
hel
l
owAngel
Me:
(Ismi
l
ed)hel
l
owbhut
iThokozani
.
Thokozani
:howar
eyouAngel
Me:
goodt
hansandy
oubhut
i.

Thokozani
:gr
eat,
wher
eisTot
iandbaba
Me:
inKokst
ad.

Thokozani:ncedil
emossuX-manasho
unezi
vakashiotherwi
sengengi
ngakubonanga.

Het
oldot
her
sthecr
ybabybesukakuphi
.

Thokozani:wellt
imefl
i
es,
youhav en'
tchanged
tu,justumuhlei
mpelamanje.Ial
waysthought
ngizozi
khul
isel
awenayazi
,butIcansti
lldothat
angithi
?
Me:
youar
elat
ebhut
i,I
'
m mar
ri
ednow
Thokozani
:mar
ri
ed?
?
Me: y
es,t
hisi
smylovelyhusband,
Ayanda,
Xhant
i,sy
oungerbr
otherasusuzwi
le.
Thokozani
:myl
oss.

Weal
ll
aughed.

Thepar tyi
beseqali
l
e, bekumnandi, dzamn
Gautengguy sarefi
neandbay adil
ika.Idon't
knowmay bethatnightkukhonaabaf umana
thei
rPr i
ncecharmingort hei
rPrincesses,asf or
uMar hadebeuMt ungwawakhebemt hencaa
ngathiuzoduka.

Peoplecandri
nk,allIwantedtodowast o
coll
ectbonkeobotshwalangibubuy
iselebacke
l
iquorstor
ebanginikeyonkelomaliyabo
ngi
yozi
thengel
amor eshoes.I
'm ashoeand
bagaddict#hi
des#phelaibhodl
elale+2000
i
tsawast e.welef
taft
er12am.
»
»»»
»»»
»»»
»»»

Fol
lowingdaybabymamakaXhant ibezi
se
i
nganey akhe.Theywer
einthegardenatthe
back,t
herewasabuzz, Ianswer
ed

Me:
hel
l
ow
Voi
ce:
dumel
aki
naTshegof
atso

Me:
Tshego,
,
Voi
ce:
mamenganekaXhant
i(Tswanaaccent)

Me:
ohhsor
ry,
comei
n.
Fewmi nut
esl
atershewalkedinwithababy
boy,GodIlov
eizinganezakwaKhumalo
azi
buzwangathibezi
zophikwa.Theboywas
about12year
sold.

Lady:
hi,
I'
m Tshegof
atso
Me:
I'
mInganat
hi,
sist
eri
nlawkaXhant
i.

Tshego.:
Otsogi
l
e(howar
eyou)
Me:
ket
sogi
l
e,keal
eboga(f
ine,
thanky
ou)

Tshego:
kei
tumel
agogoi
tsi
(ni
cet
omeety
ou
)
Me:
met
oo

Shesmi
l
ed
Tshego:
Ili
key
out
swana
Me: (Ismil
ed)gakekgonegobuatshwane
sent
le(Ican'
tspeakt
shwanewel
l)

Shesmi
l
edagai
n.

Me:
oXhant
iar
eint
hegar
den
Tshego:nkisat
engkat
sweet
swee(t
akeme
ther
eplease)

Il
edhertoooXhant
i,t
heboyr
antohi
sfat
her
andhuggedhi
m.MissIknowi
tal
lst
oodup.

Lusanda:
whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
Tshego:
ngi
l
etheuKeamoget
se
Lusanda:
y oucannotj
ustbudgei
nher
e
ungamenywanga
Tshego:Xhant
iisawar
e,heist
heonewho
phonedme.(Shewassocalm,Ir
eal
lyl
i
kedher
shame)

Lusanda:
Iwanty
ououtofher
e,asi
nnow.
Tshego:gakeadir
asepesesemol
ato.(I
haven'
tdon'
tany
thi
ngwrong)

Xhanti
:stopitLusanda,yi
ningawe,Iphoned
Tshego,heismychi l
d, i
sthereany
thi
ngwr ong
mangimcelaazovakasha.

Sheleftusmumbli
ngsomet hing.Ireal
lyl
iked
Tshego,shewasreal
lyalady,abi ty
ounger
thanLusandamaybeabout33, shewasso
sweet,shest
ayedforsupperandshel eft
.
Iwentt
owasht hedi
shes, babomdal
acamet o
hel
pme, Lusandaokobehambesi sengadi
ni
wayozi
valel
aeroominikangeabuyeabuye.

Me:babomdal
a,canIaskyousomet hi
ngnot
t
hatnguf
unauxambukel
aezindabeni
zakho
Xhant
i:any
thi
ngl
astbor
n

Me: y
iniey
anehl
ukani
sanoTshego,
sheseem
ver
ynice
Xhant
i:(hewi
pedhi
shands)ei
shhl
astbor
n

Me:
imbi
olohl
obo?
Xhant
i:y
ha

Me:
yhooo,
yangesabi
sa
Xhant
i:Isl
eptwi
thherf
ri
end,
2year
sback

Me:
babomdal
a!!
!Wher
eisherf
ri
endnow

Hel
ookedupst
air
s

Me:
no,
no,
nobabomdal
a:-
\
Xhanti:
yes, Lusanda,t
heywereclosefr
iends,
Tshegoaskedmet odropherkiboin
Att
eri
dgev i
l
lewewer ebothdrunk,weki
ssed
andonet hi
ngl edtoanot
herandLusandat ol
d
Tshego.

Me:
yhoobabomdal
auy
angi
mangazadai
l
y.
Xhanti
: Il
ovedTshegol
astbornIst
il
ldo,
pai
nfulpartshehasmetsomeoneandsheis
get
ti
ngmar r
iedt
herei
snothi
ngIcandoallI
candoi
stol
oveheratadi
stance.

Me: doyouseethis80-20ruleyenuit
srui
ning
thi
ngsforyoui
nishi
yeniheartbr
oken.Nowy ou
arelef
twit
hMadam, ,
,,
Ipoutedmymout h
Xhant
i:sayt
hatagai
n,apai
ninabut
t.

Il
aughed

»
»»»
»»»
»

Wereal
l
yhadgr eatt
imeImeangreatti
meas
muchasI'
m anindoorper
sonbutwhenit
comestoexpl
oring,I
'
m numberone,Idon'
tsay
nomakuhanj
wa.

Webookedf
oraCabl
ewayr
idei
n
Hart
ebeespoor
tandboat
ingi
nHar
tebeespoor
t
dam.

Ont he31al
lroadledtoRustenburg,sunci
tyin
NorthWesttobeexact.Ourf i
rststopwasin
Vil
lagemall,
XhantiboughtKeamoget senew
yearsandschoolcl
othesthenwedr oppedhim
atDamondsv i
l
lei
nBr i
tsandwel ef
t.

Wehav emadet hereservat

ionsalr
eadysot her
e
wasnoneedf ortheentryfee.Wewentt othe
recepti
onwegotourkey .Ndumi e,Msir
aand
War abebebookeral uxurytwin,Ayandaand
Xhantisuper
iorluxurysi
ncebebenepur se
ezisi
thi
.

Wedroppedourbagschangedint
oshort
.We
st
art
edatKwenagardens,Iwasfarf
rom t
hat
pl
acecrocodi
l
esdocrawlsoIwassonotgoing
totraumatizemyselfonthe31, t
henwewent
toValleyofwav esweweregivenarm bands
thenwehadt opayR50forli
fejacket
sandR50
forumbr el
lasbut30wasrefundableonretur
n.
Event houghI'
m hydr
ophobicbutIenjoy
ed
wavesandYandawast hereallt
heway .

Lat
ewewer eal
lchi
ll
i
ngint
hel
oungeIwas
si
tt
ingonYanda'
slap.

Me:
YandaI
'
m hungr
y
Yanda:whatel
seareyouhungryf
or?Imight
havesomethi
ngel
setooffery
ou(hesaidthat
i
nal owandsexyvoi
ce)

Me:
Yanda!
!
Ayanda:j
ustsayi
tbhabha,
I'
m al
way
saty
our
ser
vice
Helookedatmewi t
hhungeri
nhi
sey
es,
that
mademebl ushed

Me:I'
m af
rai
dwewi l
lhav
etowaitti
llwegett
o
ourr
oom f
orthatpar
ti
cul
ardi
nnerbhabha.
Ay
anda:
notr
eal
l
y

Me: i
tsal
most23:30,l
et'
swai
tnkungene
uny
akaomushasisonke.
Ay
anda:
feel
thi
s(hemademef
eel
uMt
ungwa)
Me:
siesYandaO:
-)

Ay
anda:
Ihav
esomet
hingt
oshowy
ou,
come
Me:
notnowYanda
Ay
anda:
let
'sgo
Me:
lat
erYanda

Hepi
ckedme

Ay
anda:
wewi
l
lbebackguy
s
Mawande:
sies,
nihl
ambebef
oreni
buy
a.
Ay
anda:
fokofWar
a.

Wegotint
oourroom ,i
twasdi m wit
hcandles
andfl
owersonthebed.Bekudlal
atheKurt
Darr
ensongonrepeat,st
andingontheedge, I
smil
ed,ourweddi
ngsong, Il
ov emyhusband
kodwa.

Hemademestandandpul
l
edmecloseri
nto
hi
m andf
aceddowntomeandki
ssedme
deeply,passi
onatel
yandundidmybut tons,I
tr
iedtohel phi
m butwandinqanda."
Letmedoi t
bhabha" ,
hesaid,hepull
eddownmyshor ts,he
undressedmeunt i
lIwaslef
twithmy
underwearonly.Heundressedhimselftoo.

Heki ssedmesensual l
yonmyl ipsthenmy
neckandwentdownmybody .Yandadr awnhi s
handst odiscovermybr east s,Ididn'
tstophi mI
wasonmyownpl easureandhecuppedt hem
i
nhi shands.Hewasf il
ledwi thcompassi on
anddesi r
e.Hebr oughthi stonguet omyni ppl
es
andt ookeachni ppl
eint urnbet weenhisl ips.
Hisli
psandt onguefoll
owedhi sf i
ngerslead.
Hesl i
ppedhi sfi
ngerunder neat hmyunder wear,
thensoftl
ydr ewmykneesapar t
.

Hegentl
eledmet obedandmademelieonmy
back,
het ookof
fmyunderwearhi
sfi
nger
s
touchedmycl i
t,t
ickl
ingit,arushofwar mth
spreadthroughmyv eins,hethenlookedatme
andlickedhisfi
nger.Hishotbreat
hsnearmy
skinwasasensat ionthatsenti
nstantwetness
tomyt reasur
e.

Ifeltmyl egsspr eading, eagerl

yinvit
inghimt o
l
ickhiswasdownmyt reasure.Helickedthe
creasewher emyl egjoinsmyt r
easure,he
kissedmegent let henhar der,heusedhi s
tonguet osepar atemyt reasureli
psandI
openedupher anhi stongueupanddown
betweent helayersofmyt r
easure.Iwas
moani nguncont r
ol l
able.Hegent lespreadmy
l
egsmor ewi thhi shands, heatemeandi tfel
t
sodev ine.Hegent lepulledmyt reasureli
ps
awayandf l
i
ckhi st ongueagai nstmycl i
t,Lord
myl egsshudder ed.
Ay
anda:
lookatmebhabha

Itr
iedbutbekunzima.Hel oweredthepaceand
suckgent l
e,whilehisey
eswer erightonme.I
wasgoi ngmad.Il i
ft
edmypel v
isintotheai r,
he
mov edwi t
hme, hekepthiswarm mout honmy
cli
t,hedidn'
tstop.Isunkbacki nt
ot hebedand
l
etal ongmoanescapedmeasIwasr eachi
ng
thelandingzone.

Me:
Mtungwa
Ay
anda:
comebhabha

Iobey
edmyhusbandandl
anded.

Helickedhistwofi
ngersandsli
dthem i
nside,
sl
owl yatfi
rstt
henalit
tl
efast
erIrodehis
fi
ngers,hewassuckingmycli
tandf i
nger-
eati
ngmeatt hesamet imeandt hatgaveme
multi
plesti
mulati
ons.Icouldf eel mysecond
orgasm bui
ldi
ngup, hedidn'tletgoofmycl it,
hepressedhistonguealongt heundersi deof
thecli
twhil
emov inghisfi
nger sal it
tl
etoo
gentl
ethatbroughtmest r
aighti ntotheedge.

"
llo,
,
vey
oubha,
b,
,ha"Isai
d
Ay
anda:
lov
eyout
ooMar
hadebe.

Hemademest andonmyf eet,heturnedme

aroundt ofacet hebed, bendingmeov er
secondl at
erMt ungwawasst rai
ningagainst
Mar hadebe.Mar hadebeof feredherselft
o
Mt ungwawi thouthesitati
ngbengowakhe
angithi
?Iwasal readysoakingwetandhav i
ng
uMt ungwawasexact l
ywhatIneeded#hi des#I
wascompl etel
ybendov erthebedandhe
bangedmeal l
Icoul ddowast oscream, my
f
acesav
oredt
hescentoft
hecl
eanl
i
nen.He
wasmoani
ngbehi
ndme.

Mtungwawashar d,hotandoutofthiswoul
d,
hekeptonhit
ti
ngmyG-spor t,hisbreat
hing
i
ncreased.Hestopped.

Ay
anda:
bhabhadon'
tmov
ezongi
chi
thi
sa.

Hepul l
edout,
andhelpedmer egai
nedmy
footi
ng,hetur
nedmet owardshim andhi
sf ace
camedownonme, ourtonguesmeti ni
ntense
l
ov e.Hemademeli
eonmyback.

Ahhhhhhhhhh

Imoanedsof
tl
yasheent
eredme,
myey
es
widenedandglowed,i
fhiseyeswereopened,
hecouldhaveseenint
othei
rdepths.

Hebangedmef oralongti
meli
kether
ewasno
tomorrowandfi
nal
lyhisbr
eat
hincr
eased,I
knewhewascomi ng,Iwascomingmysel
f,I
didn'
tstopmov
ing

Ayanda:f
uck,,
,
,,
,I
nganathif
u,,
,
,,
,
,,
,
,,
,
ckandhe
came.Hecoll
apsedonmewewer ebot
h
tr
embli
ng.Sashoisi
thonga.

Ay
anda:
happynewy
earMar
hadebe
Me:
happynewy
earGi
bson

Ayanda:heywenabhabhandi
zakuf
aka
i
sihl
angu
Igi
ggl
ed

Me:
happynewy
earMt
ungwa
Ay
anda:
Ilov
eyounokul
ony
aka
Me:
lov
eyout
oonakul
ony
aka.
Us:
til
ldeat
hdousapar
t.

Weki
ssed

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
18,
23:
47]Mca:
INSERT137

Toti
cal
led,t
heywereinPinet
ownkwababa
(mydad'stwin),
alloft
hem exceptf
ormkhul
u
andgogo.Theywishedusahappynewy ear,
I
coul
dtel
ltheywerehappy,Imi
ssedthem ,i
t
wasmyf i
rstDecemberandNewyearIspent
awayfr
om myf amil
y.

Yesprevi
ousyearIspentmynewy earatPoi
nt
wit
hAy anda,
Msi r
aandMawandeawayf r
om
myfami l
ybutitwasdiff
erentIwasstil
la
Rhadebe.Idr
oppedt hecall
andburiedmy
myselfi
nYanda' schest
.

Ay
anda:
"doy
oumi
sst
hem"
Me:
"Idobhabha,
alot
"

Ay
anda:
"doy
our
egr
etbeenher
ewi
thme"
Me:
"nobhabha,
Idon'
t,
itsj
ustt
hat
..
..

Ay
anda:
"theyar
eyourf
ami
l
ybhabha,
youl
ove
t
hem,theyl
oveyoutoo,
itsnor
maltofeel
the
wayy
oudoasl ongasyouknowthatIwil
lnev
er
t
akeyouawayfrom t
hem"
Me: youhavetakenmeawayf r
om them
al
ready,whatdoyoumeany ouwil
lnevert
ake
meawayf rom myfamil
y,butI
'
m not
complai
ningthoughI
'mlovi
ngeachandev er
y
momenther e"

Ay
anda:
"I'
m her
etopl
easeMadam Khumal
o

Ismi
l
ed.

Iwouldbel yi
ngifIsayintokaLomzi di
dn't
worryme, inawayIf eltr
esponsibl
efor
ungakhulumisanikaAyandawithhismot her.
Yesdirectl
yIwasnotr esponsi
blebutIcouldn'
t
hel
pbutt hinkthati
fIdidn'
tmarryAyanda
maybeshewasgoi
ngt obethehappi
est
woman,hersonmarr
iedtoherdream gi
rl
.

Me: "Yanda,y
ouneedtofoneLomzit
helast
ti
mey ouspoketoheri
twasthedayweleft
Cofi
mv aba"
Ay
anda:
"nobhabha"

Me: "wehav espokent oDadandTot i,i

twillbe
fai
rifyoual sospeakt oLomzi ,whatki
ndofa
wifewoul dIbei fngizokuyekelakubene
tensionisikhathiesi
ngakawi thyourmot her
.
Afterall
y ourmot herhatesmenoty ou,sodon't
makemebet hecausey ongakhulumisani
kwenu.
Ayanda:y
ouar
enott
hecausebhabha,
Lomzi
i
scrazy
Me:
pleasemy
eni
wami
Ayanda:OkI
nganat
hi!
!Iknowy
ouwon'
tback
of
finthi
sone.

Hediall
edLomzi
numberandputi
tonLoud
speaker
.

Me:
bhabha,
puti
tonhandsetpl
ease.

Idi
dn'twannahearLomzi insul
ti
ngme, Ihada
wonderfulnightsowasmynewy ear,Iwasso
notgoingtol etherrui
nit
.Shef i
nal
lypickedup
andtheytalked, hethendroppedthefoneat
l
easthewassmi l
ing.

Ay
anda:
forachangewespokel
i
keadul
ts.
Me:
shei
syourmot
herbhabha,
I'
m gl
ady
ou
spoket
oher
.

Ayanda:sodoIandthankyou,Isowi
sh
Mamzocangi veyouachanceakwazi
njenoba
yi
10mi nut
es.Shewil
ll
ovey ou.

Me:don'tworr
yaboutt
hatl
ove,
puty
ourgown
onsi
thandaze.
Ayanda:
hay imaarnbhabha,whoget
stopr
ay
onanewy ear,youarecrazy
.

Hewasl
aughi
ngandIhadaser
iousf
ace.

Ay
anda:
arey
ouser
ious?

Inodded
Ayanda:y
hooohay
ibhabha,nabaf
undi
baka
yesudi
dn'
tpr
ayonanewy ear.
Me:
comeongr
umpy
,2mi
nut
esonl
y.

Wepray
ed,t
ookashowerandwentbackt
othe
guy
sandLusanda.

Mawande:yer
rni
nanabenit
shongamahlo
ngat
hizi
zi
bawuzi
bat
yelweebondeni
nihl
ambi
l
e.
Ay
anda:
tsek

Me:
happynewy
eart
oyoual
l
Msira:yhay
hay ha,thi
nasi
ngenesil
ambil
e
phantsi
kwebhantinj
ebani
nanihl
uthinj
e.

Weshar
edhugsandchil
ledbezi
phuzel
ati
l
l5am.
Wewentoursepar
ateways,wegotint
oour
sui
te,t
ookof
fourcl
othesandgoti
nbed.
Ayandabi
temyear.

Me:
Yandapl
easengi
yezel
a

Hebl
ewsomeai
rinmyear
.

Me:
AyandaKhumal
o!!
!
Ay
anda:
bhabhacel
amf
azi
wam

Me:
chaYanda,
wej
ustmadel
ove4hour
sago.
Ayanda:
let
'st
aket
hel astroundasaby
eby
eto
20.
..
andthi
sasawelcomi ngto20.
.
Me:
chaYanda

Hedi
sappear
edezi
ngubeni
,hay
ikeal
lIcoul
d
dowastomoan,
Wesai
dhel
l
owkuny
aka
omusha.

Wespentadayandleftonthe2ndofJanuar
y,
wewentviaAt
ter
idgevi
llei
nSaul
svi
ll
ekulo
Lusandat
hent
oPr et
oria.

Xhanti'
sfr
iendswouldcomenowandagai
n
i
ncludi
ngThokozanianditwasmor
eandmore
par
ties

Xhantiannouncedt hathewasget tingmar r

ied
ngoJune, sot heydiscussedthatmat ter
nobabomdal a.Sotheirunclesweregoi ngto
vi
sitLusanda' shome(i nTsomo)f orlobol
a
negoti
ationsendofFebr uaryandtheirweddi ng
wasgoi ngt otakepl aceinCofi
mv abangoJune.
Wel ef
tonthe5t
hofJanuar
y,weflewf
rom
Lanseri
atoCapeTown,i
twashel
l
owCape
Town.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Ont he8thIr eport edemsebenzi ni

.Weekswent
byi twasbusi nessasusual .Iregist
eredformy
BTech, weal sor egister
ednoYandaatUni sa.
Wewoul dv isitIndysomet i
meshewoul dcome
toourhousengeweekends.Hewasso
ador abl
e, alway shassomet hingtosay .Whenit
comest obedt imehewoul dr ef
usetogoand
sleepnoMawandeev enthoughheknew
Mawandewashi sdadbembi zangot ata,
Ay andangot atomnci nciandXhant i,
Nduand
Msi rangot atomkhul umeasAunt y.Babomdala
(Mawande)wamncamaul alanayesohewas
supposet osl eepi nthenur seryinoneoft he
bedsbuti
nganekababomdal
awouldcomeup
wit
hstori
esthatuy
osaba,
sobel
alanat
hi.

Ay andawouldbemadabuy eahl ekesooneni t

e
sizolal
a,I
ndywasasl eepalreadysoAy anda
tookhimtot hebedi nt henursery, i
twas
oppositet
oourbedr oom.Het uckedhi minbed,
Ikissedhi
sf oreheadandweswi tchedoffthe
l
ightandleftthediml ightonandl eftt
hedoor
open.

Wet ookof
fourcl
othesandgotinbed,Ayanda
pul
ledmeclosert
ohim andstar
tedki
ssi
ngme,
hi
shandswentdownt omytreasur
e.

Me:
bhabha,
I'
m st
il
lonper
iods
Ayanda:hayibhabhakuni
niuqal
i
le,
kant
ilent
o
yakhoi
phelanini
Me:
nextweek
Ayanda: haaaa,
hayibhabha,
utat
omkhuluused
topreachusngoMoseswawel aaredsea
wangav el
elwayi
nto,
nam kebhabhathere'
s
nothi
ngezokwenzekanobangakagqibi
.(He
sai
dt hatenenaught
ysmi l
e)

Me:
chaYanda
Ay
anda:
kanci
nci
njebhabha,
Imi
ssy
ou
Me:
tomor
rowIwi
l
lbef
ine

Iknewhewasnotgoi ngtogiv eupany wayI

wasdonebutwi t
husl adi
esy oudon'tfeel
comfortabl
eunti
lyoudon'tseeanythingkwi
sanit
arytowel
yakho.

Westar
tedki
ssi
ng,i
twasget
ti
nghott
er,hewas
har
daseverIwassoaki
ngwetr
eadyto
welcomeuMt ungwawam.Therewasati
ny
knockonthedoor,wecont
inued,
buti
t
persi
sted.

Me:
bhabhal
i
sten
Ayanda:nobhabha,
notnow.(Hespoke
betweenki
sses)

Me:
hay
iYanda

Hest
opped,
hewasst
il
lont
opofme

Me:
goandcheck
Ay anda:"yerrabantuabanatiming"hesaidt
hat
get t
ingup, hetookhisgownandwor eit
.He
wentt oopent hedoor .I
twasIndy, hewas
standingint hedoorrubbinghi
sey es.
Me:
heyboy,
whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e

It
ri
edt
owakeupndi
yekuy
ebutIwasnaked.

I
ndy:
I'
m scar
edofsl
eepi
ngal
oneAunt
y
Me:
wozakeboy,
wher
edoy
ouwannasl
eep
I
ndy:
wit
hyou.

Ayanda:
heykwedi
niy
ouarenotsl
eepi
ngher
e,
uci
mbanzaphi
wakanj
ani
I
ndy:
ufuni
phi
wai
sweet
ywenanguAunt
y
Me: hayi
maar nAyanda,
zini
ezi
uzi
khul
uma
enganeni,passmemygown.

Beci
kekeuAy
andangat
hiuzodl
aumunt
u.
Me:
youwantmet
oready
ouabet
ime-st
ory
I
ndy:
yessss!
!!Hescr
eamed
Me:
comekemyangel
,whi
chonedoy
ouwant
met
oreadf
ory
ou

I
ndy:
Kev
int
hev
eryol
drabbi
t

Ist
oodupandwentt othenurseryandt ookthe
book,withI
ndyaroundIhadnochoi cebutt o
buybedtime-storybooksandwitht hecreche
i
bif
unwanguAy andabengi
qokelela.Seemingly
,
Ayandafoll
owedmecaswhi l
eIwasst i
ll
l
ookingforthebookheheldmef rom theback
andkissedmyneck.
Me:
Yandano!
!
Ayanda:
kancinci
bhabha, nzabet
hauquicki
e
aphaMarhadebe,Icannotsleepngi
nje.
Me:
noYanda,
notnow
Ayanda:lelai
tikaMawandeay i
zuphi
ndai
ze
apha,y
err,nzangafumaningokungenxay
ayo
(hemumbl edey adownst
airs)

Iwentbacktothebedr oom andreadIndyt

he
stor
yunti
lhefellasleep.Ayandacameback,i
t
wasobv i
ousthatIndywasgoi ngtosl
eep
phakat
hikwethucasbet hencaki
mi.I
pret
endedasifngilele,hegotinbed
asashwabul
a.

Ay anda: heekwedi ningumf aziwam losusa

esosandl akuy e,heremov edIndy'
shand
besi semqalenikimi,r
eallyuYandacanbe
childish,
Iwant edtolaughbutIknewi fIdo
Yandawasgoi ngtoinsistkuqui cki
enowt hat
Indywassl eeping.Het urnedngochuku
ashukumisai
bedandgav
eushi
sback,
hekept
ontossi
ngandtur
ning

Ayanda:
uloboleumfazi
,ugqi
beul
alengendl
ala
udl
elwayil
ait
i,nxaa

Mf
xmmm nomonaumy
eni
wami
kodwa.

Sanibonani hl
ebhabhas,
andcompl imentsof
they ear,
wangauJehov anakul
ony akaangani
busisaanilondeandkeepshoweringyouallnge
blessingsezingangeAMAZONRI VER.
Thandar i
ngsubhabha

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
18,
23:
48]Mca:
INSERT138

Midni
ghtIfel
tsomethingpinchingmeitwasso,
sosoftbutIwasfastasleep.WhenIwokeup
YandaandIndywerest i
llsl
eeping,I
ndyontop
ofYandaambambi l
easheal waysdoeski
mi.
Nchootheyweresocut e,ngokubelel
eekwati
l
e
uYanda,mfxmmm.

Itookmyf oneandstoodup,It
ookfew
pict
uresandsentsomekubabomdala
(Mawande)si ncebebengekav
uki
.Iki
ssed
IndyandkissedYandaheheldmyhand.

Ay
anda:
"whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
"
Me: "aren'
tyousl
eepi
ngkanti
,I'
m admir
ingt
he
beautyandhandsomenessyaseMzini
wami "
Ay
anda:
"comebackt
obed,
itsst
il
lear
ly"
Me:
"Ineedt
opee"

Ayanda:
vusanal
elai
ti
,hei
sgoi
ngt
opeeonme
"
Me: no,
Iwon'tdot
hatwhyumv
usaand
yasi
ndauIndy"

Iwentt
opeeandhetookIndyandcameback,
hewassti
l
lhal
fasl
eepthough.

Me:
"whendi
dIndysl
eepont
opofy
ou"
Ayanda:"Iwil
lnev
erl
ety
ousleepwi
thmychi
l
d
bhabha,
ur i
temawutr
apamna"

Me:
mfxmm I
'
m nott
hatbadYanda
Isul
ked

Ayanda:"youputyourl
egontopofIndi
phi
le,
hetri
edtopinchyoubutyouwer
efastasl
eep,
I
hadtorescuehim"

Me:
"shamepoorbaby
"
Ayanda:"yawuzeukwazini
niulal
akakuhle,
cas
nam sendi
kul
ali
saphezukwam ndibal
eka
ukhat
ywanguye"

Isul
ked

Ayanda:
"thandaul
ihasheel
i
ngat
hil
i
nepapi
se
unj
alomfaziwami"
Me:
"li
hasheel
i
njani
eloel
i
nepapi
si
?"
Ayanda:"el
i
khabayo,somal
i
njal
oli
yaqhel
i
swa,
l
izoqhel
augity
elwa"

Il
aughedhar
d

Ay
anda:
"whyar
eyoul
aughi
ng"
Me:"si
ncewhenwazingamahashe,
cast
he
l
astt
imeIcheckedwaf
undisweyi
mi"

Ayanda:"Ihav
ebeenstudyi
ngngamahashe
bhabha,
Iwannabyeone,ndzol
i
bekaeMatat
iel
e
kodwa"
Me:
"wel
l
,wel
l
,wel
lngi
yaf
undi
sanj
e.

Ay
anda:
"heywenabhabha"

Igi
ggl
ed.
Wesl eptagain,wokeupar ound9.Ayanda
bathedIndy, wasemgqokisa,inganeka
babomdal awasandst i
lli
saTALKI NG
MACHI NE, kubangathi
upr essedu-onkubengu
way a-waya.

I
ndy:
"wenaAunt
yundi
khabi
l
e"
Me:
"I'
m sor
ryboy,
Iwontdoi
tagai
n"

I
ndy:"uThandi
swapinchesmemandi
mkhaba,
naweIpi
nchedyoukodwawangandi
va"
Me:
"I'
mreal
l
ysor
ryboy
,yezwa"

Ikissedhisf
oreheadthenkissedYanda.I
ndy
closedhiseyeswithonehand, hepeeked
throughhisf
ingersthough.
Indy:"
aunt
y ,
myf r
iendsai
d,adul
tsmustonly
kisswhentheli
ghtisof
fabantwanabel
ele
bengaboni
".
Me: "
thati
snottrue,neverl
ist
ent
oyourf
riend,
wheny ouki
sssomeone, it
ssimpl
eshowsthat
youcareandlov
et hatper
sonandwearefamil
y
angi
thi?

I
ndy:"yesaunt
y,butBunt
usay
sImustki
ss
Anezwa"

Wewer ewalki
ngdownstair
s,breakf
astwas
readyoobabomdalaboy i3weretherealr
eady.
I
ndywentt ositonYanda'slap.Iwasfeeding
him ekuYandacasbethet
haengadli.

Me:
"whoi
sAnezwaboy
?"
I
ndy:
"Anezwai
smygi
rl
fr
iend"

WechokednoAy
anda

Me:
"whati
sagi
rl
fr
iendI
ndy
"
I
ndy:"l
amt
anamaarnAuntyendi
loko
ndi
mncami
saeskol
weni
,uhl
alaesakwam "

Amen!
!

Mawande:"hel
a,whatareyout
alki
ngabout,
hekwedi
niwhotaughtyout
ogoaroundki
ssing
abant
wanababantu!
!"

Mawandewayishout
ainganengangat
handa,he
gotof
ffr
om Yandaandcamet ome, heburi
ed
hi
sfaceonme.

Mawande:"heygetofffr
om youraunt,
yi
zaphandi
zokukhabel
aezizi
ntouzi
thet
hay
o"

Hecr
iedhar
der

Me:
"babomdal
a!!
!"

Ical
medhi
m unt
ilwar
it
e.

Me: "li
stenkeboy
,youdon'
tgoar
oundki
ssi
ng
gi
rl
s, si
yezwana"
I
ndy:
"whyAunt
y?"Hewasst
il
lcr
yingt
hough

Me:
"it
swr
ong,
uthi
shazokushay
aand
uzoboshwangamaphoy i
sai
ftheyhearthaty
ou
areki
ssinggirl
swhil
eyousupposetoli
stent
o
yourteacher
s,doyouwannagotoprison?"

I
ndy:
"noaunt
yangi
funi
"
Me: "
good, don'
teverl
istent
oBuntuagai
n,t
he
onl
ypeoplewhomustki ssyouandyoumust
ki
ss,ngabantuabadala,whenBuntusaysgo
andkissAnez wa,y
oumustt el
lhi
my ouwil
l
bot
hbear rested"

I
ndy; "okAunt
y,Iwi
l
ltel
lhi
m,bengaf
uni
vel
e
nam umncamisa.
Me:
"goodboy,
let
seatke"

HewentbacktoAyanda'slap,i
nganeka
babomdal
abingezwaninjeneveggi
es,l
ett
uce,
tomat
oandcucumberbengaf unini
xngazo
bekumel
eumncenge.

I
ndy:
"Idon'
twantt
heseaunt
y"
Me:
"si
khul
umi
l
engazoangi
thi
"

I
ndy:
"yesaunt
ytheywi
l
lhel
pmegr
ow"
Me:
"sowena,
youdon'
twannabebi
g"

I
ndy:"Ido,Iwannabel
ikeutat
am,
t
atomncinci
notat
omkhulu"
Me:
"good,
let
'seatke"

I
ndy:"mandizi
gqi
bil
ezongi
thengel
aI
mil
kshakeaunt
y"
Me:
"yesboy"
Wadl
aunt
ilhewasdone.

I
ndy:
"gqi
bil
eaunt
y"
Me:
"yesssss!
!!Hi
ghf
ive"

Wehi
ghf
ive

Yandawaslookingatusasifuzokhal
ashame
umyeniwam.Ireall
yfel
tforhi
m casIknewhow
muchhewant edtobeaf at
her.

Me:
"wewi
l
laskubabomncaneasi
hambi
se"
I
ndy:
"whoi
sthat
"

Ismil
ed,ourlanguageinawaycl
ashednoI
ndy
butIunder
stoodbey i
ngane.
Me:"ubaba-ngut
ata,
babomncane-ngu
t
atamnci
nci
,boy"

I
ndy:"wenayousaybabakant
ingutat
a,wher
e
i
syourchi
ldkant
i?Inev
ersawhim,Iwanna
pl
aywit
hhim"

OobabomdalanoAy
andawerechatt
ing,
they
keptqui
tei
mmediat
elyandl
ookedatme.

Me:
"akekhoboy
"
I
ndy:
"uphi
"

Mawande:
"Indi
phi
l
eval
a-l
oml
omo!
!!
"
Me:
"babomdal
a!!
!"Ndamj
amel
a
Mawande:
"thet
hat
oomuchl
omt
ana"
Me: "i
tsok,andndi
cel
ani
phumeezi
ndabeni
zet
hu,nit
het
henedwa"

Ay
anda:
"bhabha"
Me: "I
'm ok,heisj
ustaki dforcr
yingoutloud
andevenifheknew,Ican'tkeeponav oi
ding
thi
s,I
'mfinehonest
ly"Il
ookedatIndy

Me:
"masengi
nay
ezomphat
haangi
thi
"?
I
ndy: "
yesaunty!
!,
Iwillbathhim,pl
aywit
hhim,
borr
owhim myt oys,f
eedhi mlikey
oudoand
buyhim mi
lkshake,encincikodwayenaandi
thi
"?

Me: "nchoo,comegiveauntyaki
ss",
Ihugged
hi
m andkissedhim onthecheek,hecover
ed
hi
smout hngesandhla."Chaangi
funala
emlonyeni
"
I
ndy:
"noaunt
y,I
'
m aboy"
Me:
"so?
"

Indy:"tat
amnci
nci(
Ayanda)sai
dndizamat
hai
f
Ikissoosi
si,
Imustonl
yhandshake"

Ndaj
amelalei
nguAyanda,
hel
ookedawayTHE
Per
vert
,ngi
sazomt
hola.

Me: "comeher e"heranawayf r

om meway a
emny ango,itwassaf etogoout si
decasIpool
besi
y icovermay ekhona,Ichasedhim and
caughthim, Icarri
edhimtothegar den,Iwas
ki
ssinghim al loverandhewasl aughing.

Iputhi
m down,
Iwast
ir
edy
asi
ndai
nganeka
Mawande.

Indy:"comel et
'splayhideandseek"Lor d
whenl astdi
dIplayt hat
,mi nabengingakwazi
nocashacasbengi bonakal a.Ayandajoinedus,
i
twasAy andaagainstus.Iwast i
red,Ineeded
tocatchabr eat
hsoYandakwamel eabeli
hashe
l
ikaIndy,hayinj
eIjoinedthatngagi bel
anami .
Oobabomdal acamewi ththeballitwasme,
MsiraandNdumi eagainstAy anda,Mawande
andIndy .

Icheatedalltheway,I'
m ast
hmati
chhabeand
wast heonlyfemalekwi mal
esandIcan'
tpl
ay
soccer.Wewon! !I
ndycri
edhisl
ungsout
mandi t
hitheylost,mfxmmm babi
eskodwa,I
hadtosaykuwi nebonake.Mybodywas
star
ti
ngt oitch,gr
assandmedon'tmeet.
Ayanda:"t
hat'senoughbhabhal
et'
sgo
uyahl
ambauz othat
haIpi
li
sizeal
ler
gybef
ore
yougetworse"

Wewentupst ai
rs,It
ookashowerandhe
helpedmeloti
onedmybodyngeaqueous
cream t
hatIuseforall
ergy
.

Ayanda:
"bhabhawhydi
dyousayy
oudon'
tl
ike
ki
dswhenImetyou"
Me: "IguessIdon'
thatethem i
tsj
ustt
hatI
wasscaredthatImightnotgi
vethem t
helove
I
'm supposetogiv
ethem andI'
m scar
edofthe
l
it
tl
eonesmabesandakuzal wa"

Ay
anda: "tr
ustmey ouwil
lmakeagood
mother,
I'm 100%sureoft
hat
"
Me:
"hhawuhowdoy
ouknow"
Ayanda:"Ihav
ebeenwatchi
ngy
ouwi
th
I
ndiphi
lesi
nceyouknewhim"
Me:
"hemakesmehappyYanda"
Ay
anda:
"Ihav
enot
iced"

Me:"hei
ssuchanadorableki
d,y
haspeaki
ng
ofwhi
ch,
whydidyoutel
lInd..
.

I
ndywal
kedi
n

I
ndy:
aunt
y,y
oupr
omi
sedt
obu.
..
Ay
anda:
yourmi
l
kshakeboy,
let
'sgo"
...

I
ndy:
"yest
atamnci
nci
!
!!"
Ayandagrabbedhi
scarkey
sandl
eft
i
mmedi at
ely

Ay
anda:
"Il
ovey
ouMar
hadebe"heshout
ed
Me:
"wear
enotdone"Ishout
edback.

Chi
nif
undi
saumt
anai
mikhubay
abuy
a..
..

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
18,
23:
49]Mca:
INSERT139

I
twasendofJan,itwasthedayf oroursessi
on
wit
hDrAbrahams,Yandapickedmef rom work.
WeweresupposetoseeDrAbr ahamsont he
19thbutwecancell
edAGAIN!!

Wewer
eear
lysowewai
tedf
orabout10
mi
nut
est
henwewer
ecal
l
edi
n.

Abrahams:
"theKhumalos,
compl
i
ment
soft
he
year,
howareyoudoi
ng"
Ay
anda:
"wear
efi
nedocandy
ou"

Abr
ahams:
"I'
m good,
pleaset
akeaseat"

Wewentt
osi
tdown.

Abrahams: "
youweresupposetocomeand
seemebef oreyouwentf
orholi
days,
what
happened?
"
Ayanda:"somethingunexpectedcameup
doctor,
itr
eal
lyneededourur gentatt
ent
ionand
bhabhawasnotfinebutit
ssor tednow".
Abr
ahams:
"soundsser
ious"
Ay
anda:
"yesdoct
ori
twas"

Abr
ahams:"besi
dest
hathowwasy
our
hol
i
day?"
Me:
"super
bdoct
or,
weenj
oyedi
t"

Abr
ahams:"wer
eyoui
nEast
erncapeor
Dur
ban?"
Me:
"wewer
einPr
etor
iadoct
or"

Abrahams: "gr
eat,Iwasi
nDubaiwi
thmy
husband, Iwantedtost
ay2moreweeksbut
dutycal
ls.Youshouldgother
eoneday,
youwil
l
enj
oyit"
Ayanda:"cer
tai
nlywewi
l
ldoct
orwhenbhabha
i
sonl eav
e"
Abraham :
"sotoday,Iwi
l
l f
ocusonyouMr
Khumalo,I'
m notdonewi
thyouyetMrs
Khumalo"
Ay
anda:
"nopr
obl
em doct
or"

Abr
ahams:
"hav
eyouseenacounsel
or
bef
ore?
"
Ay
anda:
"nodoct
or"

Abr
ahams:
"whatbr
ingsy
ouher
e?"
Ay
anda:
"bhabhasai
dIneedpr
ofessi
onal
hel
p"

Ismil
ed,useyasanganauAy andayenaakaboni
vel
euyal
udingausizoezathi
mi nangi
thehe
needspr
ofessionalhel
p.
Abrahams:"bhabhasai
dyouneedhel
p,f
rom
yourpoi
ntofvi
ewwhatisthepr
oblem?
"
Ayanda:"It
hinkIhav
eangerandt
rusti
ssues
doctor
"

Abr
ahams:"howdoest
hesepr
obl
emst
ypi
cal
l
y
makeyouf
eel?"
Ay
anda:
"angr
yandv
eryi
nsecur
e"

Abr
ahams:
"whatmakest
hepr
obl
em bet
ter
?"
Ayanda:"Igetbet
terwhenIshout
,swear,
punchsomethingori
fIsaysomethi
ngthatwi
l
l
hurtt
hepersonnexttome"

Abrahams:
"over
all
howwoul
dyoudescr
ibe
yourmood?"
Ay
anda:
"Iwoul
dsayI
'
m al
way
son
t
ent
erhooks"

Abrahams:"whatdoyouexpectf
rom t
his
counsel
ingpr
ocess?
"
Ay
anda:
"tobebet
tert
hanIam now"

Ayanda:"doyouconsi
deryoursel
ftohav
ea
l
ow, av
erageorhugei
nter
personalI
.Q?
"
Ay
anda:
"av
erageIguess"

Abr
ahams:"doy ouhav
eahistor
yofbeen
phy
sical
l
yabusedasachil
d?"

Hescr
atchedhi
sheadandsqueezedmyhand.

Me:
"it
sokYanda"
Hecl
osedhi
sey
esandl
ookedup

Ayanda:"Idon'
twannat
alkaboutt
his,
NO!
!!
I
'mleavi
ng,Icannotdot
his"

Hest
oodupandhewaspaci
ngupanddown.

Abrahams:"y
ouneedt
ocal
m downMr
Khumalo"
Me:"canIhav
eawor
dwi
thmyhusband
doct
or?
"
Abr
ahams:
"of
cour
se"

Shestoodupandwentout,Ayandasatdown
agai
n.Ikneel
edinf
rontofYanda,hi
seyeswere
cl
osed.
Me:
"youcandot
hisMt
ungwa"
Ayanda:"nobhabha,Ithoughtt
hatIcan,i
ts
enoughthatIshar
edmypastwi thyoubutnot
wit
hsomeoneel se,don'tmakemedoi t
bhabha,
pleaseMarhadebe".

Me:"remember,youar
edoingthisfory
ou,
for
us,
forourmarr
iagepl
easeNdlovu".
Ay
anda:
"Inganat
hi,
Icannotdoi
t"

Me:"youcanbhabha,
rememberI
'
m her
efor
you"
Ay
anda:
"youwon'
tl
eav
eme"

Me:
"nobhabha,
I'
m notgoi
ngany
wher
e"
Ay
anda:
"pr
omi
se"
Me:
"Ipr
omi
se"

Hesmi
l
edaf
aint
lysmi
l
ethough.

Me:
"ar
eyour
eadykeMt
ungwa"

Henodded,
Iwentt
ocal
lDrAbr
ahams,
she
cameback.

Abr
ahams:"doy ouhav
eahistor
yofbeen
phy
sical
l
yabusedasachil
d?"
Ay
anda:
"yesdoct
or"

Abr
ahams:
"bywhoandhow?
"
Ay
anda:
"itwast
hatf
ucke.
..
Ipokedhi
m

Ayanda:"excuseme,Iwasabusedbyt
hatpi
g
Ical
ledmystepfat
her,heusedt
obeatus"

Abr
ahams: "washeal
way
sabusi
ngy
ouorhe
di
dthatoccasi
onal
l
y?"
Ayanda:"whenwear r
ivedinhishomefrom EC
hewasni cet
ousbutt hingsstart
edtochange,
hewasal way
sdr unk,hestart
edbyswear i
ngat
usandmymot her,i
tgotworse,hewouldbeat
dayl
ight
soutofus.Wet houghthewasgoi ng
tochangebutinsteadhegotwor se"

Abr
ahams:"wher
ewoul
dbey
ourmot
herwhen
hewasdoi
ngthat?"
Ayanda:"shewouldbethere,
shewouldwatch
thatdogbeat
ingusfornot
hingandsometi
mes
shewouldsaywedeserv
edit,
whatki
ndofa
motherwoul
ddothattoherownki
ds?"

Abr
ahams:
"andwhatdoest
hatmadey
ouf
eel
?"
Ayanda:"Iusedtobeangr y,veryangryather,
Isometi
meswi shedshecoul dhavebeenhitby
atrai
nanddieont hespotIhat edher,Imean
shewassupposet oprotectusfrom t
hat
monster
"

Abrahams:"hav
eyouev
ert
oldy
ourmot
her
aboutthi
s?"
Ay
anda:
"nodoct
or"

Abr
ahams:
"why
?"
Ayanda:
"I'
mtheman,
Idon'
tgoandcr
yto
women"
Abr
ahams:"ar
eyoust
il
langr
ywi
thherory
ou
hav
efor
giv
enher?
"
Ayanda:"Iam,I'
mv eryangr
yather,yesitwas
beyondhercontr
ol,shewasalsoafr
aidofthat
monsterbutshewassupposet opr
otectus,
stoodbyus,Mcebisiwasnotherbl
oodwe
were"

Abrahams: "
besi
desthi
srelat
ionshipt
haty
ou
havewithyourwi
fe,haveyouev erhadast
abl
e
rel
ati
onshi
p?"
Ayanda:"Inev
erhadone.AsmuchasIwant
ed
toprot
ectwomenaroundmebutIhat
edever
y
womanImet"

Abr
ahams:
"why
?"
Ay
anda:
"Iwasdi
sappoi
ntedbyt
hewomanI
l
ov ed,trusted, t
hewomanwhowassupposet o
protectme, nur t
ureme, shefail
edme, she
choseanout sideroverus.Iwasy oung,I
neededher ,Ineededt obel ov
ed,tobe
protectedwhatdi dshedoshet hrewmer i
ght
i
ntot hel i
on'smout h.WhywasIsupposet o
l
ov ewomen, Ihatedthem ,Iwasangr yatt hem
theyremi ndedmeoft hewomanwhof ailedme.
Iwant edt odest roythem one-by-one"

Hestar
tedcr
ying.Seei
ngYandacr
yingal
way
s
br
eaksme.Iheldhishand.

Abr
ahams:
"unt
ilwhen"
Ay
anda:
"unt
ilIf
eltbet
ter
"

Abrahams: "inwhichwaywereyoudestr
oyi
ng
them ordi
dy ouint
endtodest
roythem ?
"
Ayanda:
"Iusedtofuckwit
hmor ethan3gi
rls
adayandaft
erthatIwoul
djustt
hrowthem out
ofmyhouse"

Abr
ahams:
"howdi
dyoumanaget
ogett
hose
gi
rl
s?"
Ayanda:"Ihadmoney,
Iwoul
dbuyt
hem dr
inks
thenther
estwashi
stor
y"

Abrahams: "weretheyhappywhenyouthr
ew
them outofyourhouse,af
tery
ouusedthem?"
Ayanda:
"somewoul
dn'
tmi
ndbutsomewoul
d
cr
y"

Abr
ahams:"wheny
ousawt
hem cr
ying,
how
di
dyoufeel
?"
Ay
anda:
"not
hing"
Abr
ahams:
"not
hingatal
l
?"
Ay
anda:
"yes"

Abr
ahams:
"ar
eyoupr
oudofwhaty
oudi
d?"
Ayanda: Iwasproudofmysel
fthatIhave
accomplishedmymi ssi
onofdest
royi
ngthe
peopleIhatedbutnowIregr
etevery
thi
ngIdid
tothosegirl
s"

Abr
ahams:
"whatmakesy
our
egr
etnow?

Hesmi
l
ed,
hewi
pedof
fhi
stear
s.

Ayanda:"ev
ery
thi
ng,
thedayImetbhabha,
I
st
artedt
oseewomendif
fer
entl
y"
Abr
ahams:
"yousai
dyoumetheri
nlongst
reet
,
whatwer
eyoudoi
ngther
e,wer
eyout
her
ejust
f
ordri
nksorf
orgi
rl
s?"

Ay
anda:
"bot
h"
Abrahams:"t
ell
meifyouhadagir
l'
schi
l
dwere
yougoingt
obehappyifonemanwouldtr
eat
herthewayyoudidt
othosegi
rl
s?"

Ay
anda:
hel
ookeddown"nodoct
or"
Abrahams:
"di
dtheydeser
vet
osuf
ferf
ory
our
past?"

Ay
anda:
"nodoct
or"
Abr
ahams:"doyout
hinky
ourr
egr
etswi
l
l
makethi
ngsok?
"

Ay
anda:
"Iwasangr
y!whatwasIsupposet
o
do?
"hest
art
edshout
ingandcr
ying
Abr
ahams:
"angr
yatwho?y
ourmot
her?t
hose
gi
rl
s?"

Ay
anda:
"mymot
herdammat!
!"
Abr
ahams:"sot heyhadt
opayf oryour
mother
'smi
stakesandnegl
igence?"

Ay
andaj
ustbr
okedown

Ayanda: shel eftmet here,Iwasunabl et

opee
for3day s, Iwasonl y13y earsoldforcr y
ing
outloud,onl y13,Ir
ememberasi fithappened
yesterday.Shewassupposet opr otectme, she
l
ett hatbastardbeatme, kickme.Icr iedfor
help,sheleftmet hereev enmybr othersdidn'
t
protectme, Iwas13, Isleptoutsi
deonav ery
cold,rai
nydayi nWi nter.Mymot herwasunder
warm bl anket
swi ththatbastardshedidn'
teven
sparemeasi ngleblanketletal
oneat hornt-
shi
rt.Iwasl efttherewear i
ngonlymy
underwear .YesIhat edeveryt
hingthatwearsa
ski
rt, callmeanasshol ebutIwantedto
destroyt hem f
orbr i
ngingusher eandletus
suff
erj usttopleaset hei
rspouses"

Hecr i
edhar der
,yhoohay iIcoul
dn'tt
akei t
.It
real
lybr okeme.Ist oodupngamphat hela
amanzi .Hewasshaki ngIdon'tknow
i
bingumsi ndoorwhat .Ihel
pedhim drink.
Ngiyatetemabutmakumel engibestr
ongoIdo.
Ifel
tformyhusbandandatt hatmomenthe
neededmyshoul dertoleanon.

Abr
ahams:"good,Iwantedyoutogothere
wherei
thur
tsthemost,Iwantedyoutoletgo
oft
hepain,Iwant
edyout ocr
youtthepainand
anger,Iwant edy out oyel
l,toscream,topunch
andtoshoutoutt hepainthatmakesy oubitt
er,
youarenotbi t
terMrKhumal oy ouareone
sweetsoul that'swhatIpi ckedupf rom you,you
haveasof thear t, y
ourpastmadey oubi t
ter
andaggr essive, youcannothol dont othat,
you
aredestroyingy ourselfemot i
onall
yandy ouwi l
l
destr
oyandchaseawaypeopl ethatcarefor
you.Howdoy ouf eelnow? "

Ay
anda:
"ti
red"

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
18,
23:
49]Mca:
INSERT140

Abrahams:"yousai
dyouwenttolongstr
eet
forbothgi
rl
sanddri
nksandwhathappened?"
Hesmi
l
edandki
ssedmycheek.

Ayanda: "Isawt hesegirl

sy oung,notmyt y pe
though.Ipr efer
redmat uredwomenbutwhenI
sawbhabha, myheartmel ted.Itriedtoi gnore
herbutmyhear tracedasi fi twasgoi ngt opop
outofmychest .Shewassocut e, beautiful,
veryyoung, shyandhumbl ed, herf r
iendswer e
l
oud, laughinganddr inki
ngandshewoul djust
smilenowandagai n.IthoughtIwasst artingto
l
osemyt ouch.Inev erfel
tt hatwaybef ore.She
wasl i
keanangel whowassentf rom heav ento
rescuemef rom theevilt
hingsIwasdoi ng" .

Abr
ahams:
"andwhathappened?
"
Ayanda:"Isentoneofthewai t
erstogoand
tel
lthem t
hattheycanorderanythi
ngtheywant
Igotthebil
l.Hecamebackt el
li
ngmet hatshe
ref
usedbutot her
sdidn'
thaveapr obl
em.No
oneImeannoonehasev erdecl
i
nedme.Iwent
tot heirt
abl
e,Iwantedtogivehermypieceof
mi nd,whodecli
nesTaAy laandgetawaywi t
hit
butwhenIgott oherIfeltweak.Ioff
eredhera
l
ifthomebutsher ef
used.Iwasleftwit
hno
choi cebutt
ostalkher"

Abr
ahams:
"youst
alkedher?
,whodoest
hat?
"
Ayanda:"adesper ateper son, Iwant edtobe
cl
osertoher,Iwant edt oseeherwhenIwake
upinthemorningandbef oreIsl eepatni ghtbut
shewouldn'
tl
etme.Ist al
kedhert i
l
l t
hedayI
sawhercryi
ngi nBellvi
lle,herex-boy fri
end
dumpedher.Sosincet henIr eali
zedt hatwhatI
havebeendoingwassel f
ish,hear t
lessand
i
nhuman.Ipunishedi nnocentgi r
lsformy
mother'
swrong.Irealizedt hatIwasnobet t
er
fr
om Mcebisi,Iwasanani mal .Iam st i
llan
ani
mal i
nawaybutI 'mt ryingandt hisladyrit
e
herehasbeenpatientwi t
hme, shedoesn' t
j
udgemeshewalkswi
thme,
Iwi
l
lfor
everbe
gr
atef
ult
oher
".

Heki
ssedmycheekagai
n.Ij
ustbl
ushed.

Ay
anda:
"Il
ovey
ou"
Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oobhabha"

Abrahams: "thatwill
beal lf
ort oday,from
whatIsee, t hereissti
llalongwayt ogoMr
Khumal o.Yourangeri sbeyondcont rol
.Ireall
y
gotscaredmy self,
IwonderhowMr sKhumal o
keepsupwi t hyouranger.Ireallyfearforher
butItr
usty out hatyouloveherandy ouwill
neverdoany t
hingtoharm her .Ihav eseeny ou
wheny oul ookatherwheny out alkabouther .
Ifi
twasn' tfort hat,Iwasgoingt oreferyouto
thebestangermanagementi nst i
tuti
onin
Pl
umst
ead"
.

Ayanda: "Icannotleav
ebhabhadoctor,
sheis
myl i
fe,
thatwill
kil
lmeifitmeansImustatt
end
sessi
onst wiceaweekIwi l
ldot
hat"
Abrahams: "Noprobl
em,
Iwi
l
lseey
ouagai
non
yournextsessi
on"

Me:
"thanky
oudoct
or"

Ayanda'
seyeswer
esti
ll
tear
y,Iwipedthem and
gavehim at
it
ehug,wehuggedforalongti
me.

Me:
"youwi
l
lbef
ineMt
ungwa"
Ay
anda:
"IhopesoMar
hadebe"

Wesai
dourgoodby
est
oDrAbr
ahamsandwe
l
eft
.Wedrovehome.Iwasdr
ivi
ng,Ay
andawas
sonothi
mself
.Wegothomehewentupstai
rs.
Iwal
kedhimtothebedr
oom.Hegoti
nbed.

Ayanda:"bhabhacanIhav
epai
nki
l
ler
spl
ease,
Ihaveaheadache.

Igavehim wit
hwat er.Helaidhisheadonmy
l
ap,Ibrushedhisbackt il
lhefel
l asleepwell
bengi
cabanganj al
oy ouwi l
lneverknowngo
Ayanda.Youmi ghtthinkheisasl eepkanti
uhl
ezi.Igotof
ft hebedwi thoutdi st
urbi
nghim.

Iki
ssedhi
smout handl
eft
.Ist
art
edcooki
ng
andNdumiej
oinedme.

Ndumi
e:"l
astbor
n"
Me:
"heybabomdal
a"
Ndumi
e:"what
'supwi
thAy
anda?
"
Me:
"oneoft
hoseday
s"

Ndumi
e:"di
dyouf
ight
?"
Me: "doyouthinki
fwefought
,youbr
otherwas
goi
ngt obethatdul
l?"

Ndumi
e:"yhaauny
ani
sil
e,Iwonderudl
i
way
ini
uf
owet
hu?"
Me:"wewentforcounsel
i
ng,
soi
topenedup
somewounds"

Ndumi
e:"counsel
i
ng?
?Ay
anda"
Me: "yes,wehavebeenatt
endingitsi
ncelast
yearaf
termysecondmiscarr
iage,beyi
dinga
naye"
Ndumie:"hedoes, I
'mjustsurpr
ised,wehave
beenpushi
nghimt oseeapsy chologi
stbut
behl
anyamakuthenthwangeshr i
nk"
Me:"i
twasreal
lynoteasyt
oopenup.Umy
eni
wamir
eal
lywentthr
oughaloteyoung"

Ndumie:"t
rueiti
s,Ay
anda'
schi
l
dhood,
teen
hoodwastoughert
hanour
s"
Me:"al
lIcandoistosuppor
thi
m,heneeds
memorethanever
"

Ndumi
e:"hei
ssol
uckyt
ohav
eyou"
Me:
"sodoIbabomdal
a"

Ifi
nishedcooki
nganddishedup.Weate
nobabomdala.Idi
dthedishesandl
efthi
min
t
hel
ounge.

Me: "Iwil
ltakeAyanda'
sfoodt
othebedr
oom I
doubtuzokwehla"
Ndumi
e:"nopr
obl
em l
astbor
n,goodni
tet
hen.

Me:
"goodni
tebabomdal
a"

Igoti
ntot
hebedroom.Yandawasawake,
but
hewasstar
ri
ngintot
heceil
ingboar
d.

Me:
"Yanda,
Ibr
oughty
ouf
ood"
Ay
anda:
"I'
m nothungr
ymf
azi
wam "

Me:
"pl
easeMt
ungwa"
Ay
anda:
"comeher
e"
Isatont
hebedhehuggedmet
ight
.

Ayanda:"pr
omi
semet
haty
ouwon'
tl
eav
eme
bhabha"
Me:
"Iam notgoi
ngany
wher
eMt
ungwa"

Ay
anda:
"I'
m soscar
edbhabha"
Me:"don'
tbe,
youar
est
uckwi
thmet
il
ldeat
h
dousapar
t"

Ay
anda:
"thanky
ou,
comel
et'
ssl
eep"
Me:
"yi
dlakuqal
anobakanci
nci
"

Ay
anda:
"ok"
HeateandwhenhewasdoneIt ookt
hetrayto
theki
tchenandcameback.Hewasunderthe
sheetsi
nceitwashot
.Iwentt
otakeaquick
showerandtookmypjs.

Ay
anda:
"pl
easedon'
twearpj
s"
Me:
"hay
iboYanda"
Ay
anda:
"pl
easebhabha"
Me:
"ok"

Ngathobel
aumt het
honami
,Iwasl
eftwi
thmy
underwearonl
y.

Ay
anda:
"takei
tof
ftoo"
Me:
"hhabey
ini
vel
e"
Ay
anda:
"pl
ease"
Itooki
tof
fndabethangezaseEden.Igoti
n
bed.Hewasalsonaked.

Me:
"what
'supkant
i,whyunga.
..

Hepul ledmecl osert ohi

m andsmashedhi s
l
ipsonme, af
teral ongdaythatwehad.Iknew
myhusbandwi lldowi thagoodl ovemaki ng
session.wehadast eamyround, l
ikethose
makeupr ounds, itwasbitroughwebot hcame
,hecl eanedus.I fi t
shotIprefertosleepont op
ofYandat hannextt ohi myakusuf focat
oru
Yandauv ukeubal ekaamanzi .Wecuddl edto
sleep

♡MOTHERSoutt her
e,Remembert
hewayyou
t
reatyourchi
l
dren, t
hat'
sthewayy
ourchi
l
dren
l
ateri
nlif
ewillt
reatyou♡
I
ngakaYanda;
-
)

[
08/
18,
23:
51]Mca:
INSERT141

~3weeksl
ater
~

Wewer esti
ll
f i
neinf
actwewer eal lfine.
Babomdal a(Ndumi e)gott hejob, hewas
workingatGr ooteSchuurhospi taldoi nghi
s
honorsinadv ancedmi dwiferyatUni versi
tyof
Stel
lenbosch.Heboughthi mselfacar, hewas
sti
llst
ayingwi t
husev ent houghhewasl ooki
ng
forhisownhouse.Wewer ereallyfinewithhi
m
i
nourhousebutIguesshewant edt obel i
keoo
Mawande, theyhadt heirownhousesbutt hey
werealway swithus.
Ihavest
art
edwithmyBTechwehadourf ir
st
assi
gnmentdueatUni
sanoYanda, wewer e
worki
ngtoget
herhewashelpi
ngmeal ot
shamebecauseIwascluel
esskwel
icalal
e
commerce.Heseem t
oenjoyitmor
et hanIdid.

IwasalsoattendingmyGer manclasseson
Tuesdaysfr
om 17: 00to18:00.WednesdaysI
hadbibli
cal
studiesfrom 18:30t
o19: 30and
Thursdaysl
ateIhadumany ano(ufazana)f
rom
19:
00t o20:
00.

Msirawasst i
l
linalongdistancer el
ationship
withHlengiweandt heywer ereall
yinlov e,he
brokeupwi thBuhlecompl etelynotthatt hey
wereinar elati
onshi
paccor dingtoMsi ra, he
real
lyl
ov eduHl engi
e.Hewoul dvisi
tHl engieon
weekendssomet imesubefikelakwaHl engie
somet
imeskoTot
i.

Babomdal
a(Wara)wasst il
lwithNyamieand
wit
htheendl
essl
istofgir
ls,buthi
ssonwas
hi
snumberone.Hereall
yadoreshisson.

Ayandaont heotherhandwasworki
ngona
dealoffr
anchisi
nginoneofther
estaur
antt
hat
Iwon'tmentioni
tsname.Soever
yonewasbusy
sort
inghisorherli
fe.

OneSundaywewer efrom churchallofus,

ohhhAyandawoul dvisi
tchurchnowandagai n
besi
hambahi schurchbengingampusht hough
besi
hambasonkewhenhef eelsli
kegoing.
Churchi
ssodi ff
erentyoumustat tenditonl
yif
youfeell
ikenotthatyouareforcedbecause
youwon'trecei
vethemessaget hewayy ou
supposetoandIf el
tli
kesof arhehasdoneso
good,theschool
,counseli
ng,l
eavi
ng
gangster
ism wayshehasdonewel l
,Ir
eal
l
y
di
dn'twannaforcehim ngesont
obekumel
e
i
sukekuy e.

Sowewer echi
ll
i
nginthelounge,
Iwasrest
ing
myheadonYanda'slap,
hewaspl ay
ingwit
hmy
hai
r.Ebet
hiungenzaooOnebuttheywerefar
fr
om bei
ngooOne

Mawande:"It
hinkIshoul
dat
tendchur
chev
ery
Sunday
s"
Msi
ra:
"whyWar
a"

Mawande:"Hlengi
wehasmadey ousof
t
nt
wana,t
here'
sonlyonet
hingenondi
saphay
a"
Msi
ra:
"women!
!"
Mawande:"didyouseethatladybenzaI
col
l
ect
ion,
ifIcantapthatpus..
.

Icl
ear
edmyt
hroat

Mawande:"sheremi
ndedmeofuTot
i,her
body,
hereyesandherbeaut
y"
Ay
anda:
"whyTot
i?"

Mawande: "haashootmethatwomani s
gorgeous,
theonl
ypersonwhogotluckyngu
Ayandabecausehegothermini
"
Ndumi
e:"shei
syourmot
herdon'
tfor
gett
hat
"

Mawande:"Iknowbuthonestl
yundishi
ya
ngemi
nyakaengakanani
,whenIfi
rstsawthat
l
adyIwasdrool
ing"
Me:
"that
'smymom nj
alobabomdal
a"

Mawande:"Iknowl astbor
nbutI'
m notbl
i
ndif
bababengekhoIwouldn'
tmindbei
ngherben
10,damnmay enxi
beushort
yyouwouldswear
sheisl
astborn'ssi
ster"
Ndumi
e:"Yousi
ckwenauf
unai
siko"
Mawande:"oyenamtuusicki
tsy
ouwhenl
ast
di
dyoufuck,I
'
m star
ti
ngtothi
nkt
haty
ougay"

Hel
aughedhar
d.

Me"babomdal
a!!
!!
"
Mawande:
"that
'
str
uel
ast
bor
n"

Ndumie:"
welll
i
ttl
ebrot
her
,Ihavemeet
someone,Iwasaboutt
otel
lyoubutyouar
e
t
oof
orwar
d".
Me:
"whawwbabomdal
afi
nal
l
y"

Isatupst
rai
ght

Ay
anda:
"heywenabhabhay
andi
phazami
sa!
!"
Me:
whoi
sthel
uckyl
ady
?"

Ndumi
e:"y
ouwi
l
lseehersoonl
astbor
n"
Ayanda:
"thankyouLord,Iwasst
art
ingt
othink
thaty
ouaregayoruncathamel
eabet
huabafazi
.

Ndumi
e:"
ndi
kukhabeke"
Me:"I'
mreall
yhappyforyoubabomdal
a,
i
gnor
eooAy andatheyar
ecrazy"
Iwasr
eall
yhappyf
orhimift
her
ewasaper
son
whodeser
vedtobehappyi
twasNdumi
e

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Dayswentby,
ibiyi
veki y
eAnniversar
yy ethu,
YESouranni
versary,besiqedaunyakasishadi
le
wit
hmyGodzill
a.Wer eall
yhadtocelebratei
n
st
yle.

Ifonedaroundandgotaniceplacein
Langebaan, Cl
ubMykonosinSaldanna.Lucky
enoughbabomdalawasalsoof ffort
he
weekendcasIwantedsibesonke.

Wewer esupposetol
eaveonFr i
daylatebut
Ndumiewaswor ki
ngnightshi
ftezaphumau
7am Satur
daysowehadnochoi cebutt owai
t
f
orhi
m.Sowel
eftaf
ter9

Nobodyknewwher ewewer egoingexceptfor

mesowet ooktheVito,theyhavesentmet he
di
rect
ionssoIwasdr ivi
ng, bebezi
ncokol
ela.
WearrivedinLangebaan.Wecheckedi n.

Ay
andat
ookourbagst
ooursui
te.

Ayanda:"bhabha,howdi
dyougett
hispl
ace
i
tsbeaut
ifulImustsay
"
Me: "notasbeautif
ulasArabel
la,
Igotitf
rom
Br
iti
shAi r
ways,theydoe-mailmelocal
and
i
nter
national
special
sforamaf l
i
ght
sandhotel
s
"

Ayanda:"andwhopai
dfort
hiscasIdidn'tget
anynoti
fi
cati
oni
nanyofmycardsincl
udingt he
onet
haty
ouar
eusi
ng"

Me: "don'
twor
ryaboutt
hatbhabhai
tsal
l
sor
ted"
Ay
anda:
"Inganat
hiKhumal
o!!
"

Me:
"bhabhapl
easel
eti
tgo"
Ay
anda:
"whopai
dfort
hisI
nganat
hi?"

Me:
"ok,
Idi
d"
Ay
anda:
"forev
ery
one?
"

Me:
"eweYanda,
itsnotabi
gdeal
"
Ayanda:"whatdi
dIsayaboutusi
ngy our
money,youdohaveacardbhabhafor
emergencyandent
ert
ainment
,whydidn'ty
ou
useit
"
Me:"noYanda,Iwantedthi
stobeasur
pri
se
andi
tsnott
hatIcoul
dn'taf
for
dit
"
Ayanda:"Iknowyoucanbhabha,i
tsnotthat
I'
m notgr
atef
ul,
Iam mfazi
wam, butIpr
efer
kubhadal
emna"

Me:
"Idon'
tmi
ndr
eal
l
y"
Ayanda:"Ist
il
lsayno,
for
war
dmet heinv
oice,
Iwannaseeeachandever
ycentt
hatyouspent
here"

Me: mfxmm, Isenthi

m,argui
ngwit
hAy andai
s
j
ustawast eofti
me.Hetookhisl
aptopand
t
ransfer
redmeal lt
hemoneyIused.

Ay
anda:
"done,
Ilov
eyou"
Me:
"mf
xmm"

Ayanda:ndi
kukhabekeI
nganat
hi,
letmego
andcheckooWar a"
Me:
"ok"

Heleft
,Imi
ghthavedozedof f
.Iwaswokenby
Ayanda2hourslat
er.Idon'
tknowIj
ustfel
t
ti
redandbi
tcold.

Ay
anda:
"bhabha,
arey
ouok?
"
Me:"
Iam Mtungwa,j
ustt
ir
ed,Ithi
nkI
'
m
comi
ngdownonf l
uorsomethi
ng"

Ay
anda:
"amaj
i
taaf
unasi
yef
orbowl
i
ng"
Me:"nobhabhaweneedtobeatMari
nainan
hour
'st
imewearebookedf
oranhourcr
uise"
Ay
anda:
"ar
eyougoi
ngt
obef
ineemanzi
ni"
Me:
"I'
m notsur
e,Ij
usthopeIwi
l
l"

Ayanda:
"Letmef
oneooWar
akeandl
ett
hem
know"

Hei
ndeedf
onedt
hem andwegotr
eadyandl
eft
.

Wegoti ntot
hehabourandAdv enturecrui
se
waswai ti
ngforus,wecruised,Idon'
tknowwhy
di
dIchooset hecruiseofallt
hef unthingswe
couldhavedone,Iwassonotf eeli
ngwel l,
I
wassonauseaanddi zzy
,Iwasv omi t
ingnon-
stop,waterandmedon' tmeet.

Ndumi
e:happyanni
ver
sar
ybabybr
otherand
youLastbor n, i
fthere'sanyonewhot aught
met hattr
uel ovestil
lexistit
sy ouguy s.Youare
wayt oodiffer
entfrom eachot her,your
personal
iti
esbuty oumakeaper fectcouple.I
j
usthopet haty oubothr eali
zehowbl essedy ou
aretohav eeachot her.Youar eyoungbuti na
wayy ouinspireme, mayy ouhav emanymor e
anniver
saries"

Oobabomdal
acheer
edup

Ay
anda:"t
hansbi
gbr
other"

Wespentt
heremaini
ngmi nut
esbebukel
ethe
Whal
es,Baski
ngsharksandSunFish.MinaI
wassonotwel
lbutIwashappyguy senj
oyedi
t.

WewentbackIt
ookanapagai
nandt
heguy
s
wentforbowl
ing,
,l
ateronwewenttot
he
casi
no.Idon'
tknowwhat'st
hecat
chkwimal
es
necasino.

Wegott her
eIwasaboutt
oent
erwhent
he
secur
it
yguardst
oppedme.

Guard:"excusemewedon'
tal
l
owper
son'
s
undert
heageof21"
Ir
aisedmyey
ebr
ow

Ayanda:"21?
?sheis20Moron,
shehasthe
ri
ghttoent
erandshei
snotgoi
ngtogamble"
Guard:"i
nthi
scasi
nowedon'
tal
l
owpeople
undert
heageof21toent
erev
enift
heywon'
t
gamble"
Ay
anda:"y
ouarestar
ti
ngt
opi
ssme,
thi
sis
mywif
ewenasunya"
Guar
d:"I
'
mjustdoi
ngmyj
obsi
r"

Ayanda:"doi
ngmyj obmyass,i
na"
wamf umbat
hisaR200andhepushedhi
swayi
n.

Idon'
twannali
eIwassonotcomf ort
able,Iwas
thi
nki
ngngomsebenziwalaguardreall
yif
bendi
ngabanj
wabezobasenkingeni.Bayenza
i
ntoyabothenwelef
taround2am.

Wewentbackt ooursuiteandwedancet he
KhumaloDancenoMt ungwahhawuphel awe
deser
veditay earawudlali
.Iwasdrif
ti
ngnicel
y
toThongolandbekhulumauAy andabut
bengi
ngalalel
anga.
Ayanda:"y
ouar
est
il
lmynumberonesi
dedi
sh
bhabha"
Me: "ok,
bha.
.Heeee?Whatdi
dyouj
ustsay
bhabha?

Isatupst
rai
ghtkwaphel
anobobut
hongo.

Ayanda:"
Igotyou,
howcanyousl
eepwhi
l
eI'
m
tal
ki
ngtoyou"hewaslaughi
ng
Me:
"youal
mostgav
emehear
tat
tack"

Ayanda: "thandamamawabant wanabam ,and

thanky ouforev eryt
hingMarhadebe, IknowI
don'tthanky ouev er
ydayallIseem toexcelini
s
toshouty ouev eryday.IknowI'm notsuppose
tosayt hi
sbutIf eell
i
kesay i
ngit.Youknow
whatDrAbr ahamssai daboutmer eall
ygotme
worried,ifmyangerscar esherhowmuch
mor ekuweMar hadebeyouar enotev enhalf
heragebuty ouhaveputupwi t
hmyshi t
,Iam
reall
ysorrybhabhaandthanky ou
ngongibekezel
elaandthanky ouformaki nga
manoutofme"at earescapehi seye, Idon'
t
knowwhatgoti ntomeIf el
tsoemot ional
my sel
f,wekeptonsni f
fi
ngoneachot her'
s
shoulders,wehavebeenthoughhel lbutwhat
mat t
erswaswewer esti
l
l i
nlove,pati
entand
respectoneanother.

Aft
ersometi
mewel etgowithoututter
inga
wordwelookateachot herf
orfewseconds.
Tearswer
esti
llr
oll
ingdownkut hisobabil
i.

Me:"whyarewecryi
ngaren'
twesupposet
o
behappy
"Isai
dthatf
aki
ngasmile
Ay
anda:
"I'
m notcr
ying"
Me:
"ify
ouar
enotcr
yingwhatar
ethese?
"
Ay
anda:
"it
sal
lyourf
aul
t"

Me:
"howi
sthatmyf
aul
tmawut
etema"
Ay
anda:
"ngubani
otet
emay
o"

Me: "i
ts.
..Hehitmewi t
hapi l
l
owandIhi thim
back,weenduppl ayi
ngapill
owgame, Ist
ood
upandranhechasemeandgotmebef oreI
coul
dreachthebedroom door,hepull
edme
cl
osertohim.Hemademel ookathim.

Ayanda: "Idon'tpraybhabhay ouknowt hat,

but
thedayIf elli
nloveyou,ndat
het hanalalait
i
esibhekelelesonkethatI'
m notgoodi n
rel
ationshipsallIneedisawi f
et hatwewi ll
bothactl i
keidiotsaroundeachot herthat'
sallI
want edandguesswhathel ist
enedt omeand
gavemeexactl
ythat
.Hegavemeav er
y
consi
der
ate"
,st
ri
ct,l
ovi
ngsoulbutwhoact
i
dioti
cwhenneeded"

Me:
"soi
nal
lI'
m ani
diot"
Ay
anda: "andI
'myouridi
ott
oo,Ij
usthopewe
wi
llnev
ergetti
redofeachot
herbhabha"

Me:"wewon'tbhabhaasl
ongaswer
espect
oneanot
her
"

Wekissedalongoneitwasgett
inghot
terIhad
t
obreakitIknewibi
yaphi
bengozelamanyani
.

Me:
"let
'ssl
eepnowI
DIOT"
Ay
anda:
"heywenabhabhawho'
sthei
diot
??"
Me:
"di
dn'
tyousayy
ouar
emyi
diot
?"

Hecar
ri
edmet
obedandt
ickl
edme.

Ay
anda:
"who'
sist
hei
diot
?"
Me:
"y.
.o.
u"

Iwasl
aughi
nghar
d

Ay
anda:
"ohhhusageza"
Me:
"nce.
.Sebhabha,
itsnot.
.y
ouMt
ung.
.wa"
Ay
anda:
"good"

Hel
etgoIwasst
il
ll
aughi
ng

Ay
anda:
"comeher
eletmeki
ssof
fthoset
ear
s
"her
eal
l
yki
ssedt
hem of
f.

Ayanda: "
rememberIsai
dIwill
riskev
ery
thi
ng,I
will
fight,
Iwil
lbl
eed,Iwi
lll
aydownmyl i
fe,
if
that'
swhatyouneedMarhadebe"
Me:
"Il
ovey
ou"

Hepull
edmeontopofhi
m andki
ssedmy
f
oreheadandwesl
ept
.
WeleftonSundaylat
e.Iwassti
l
l notf
eel
i
ng
wel
lthoughbutIwasgett
ingt
here.

>>>>>>>>>

Itwasthir
dweekendofMar ch,wewer
eall
expecti
ngbabomdala'sgi
rl
fri
end.Iwokeup
around9,webathedtoget
hernoYandaand
st
art
edcooki
ngforLunch.UNdumi
ewassti
l
l
sl
eepi
ngbephangel
eInight
.Wewer
edone
Msir
aandMawandebaf i
ka.

Around1hewentt of
etchher
.Wewer eal
l
l
ookingforwar
dtomeether.Thefr
ontdoor
opened.Iwassti
l
lbusyset
ti
ngthetabl
e.

Lady:
higuy
s
Guy
s:hi

Il
ookedbackmyj awsdroppedintomyf eet,
shewasal soshockedtoseeme.Whynj e
uJehov aezangibekainsuchanawkwar d
posi
tion.HowwasIt otell
Ndumi ethatIknow
her,
hel ovedherIwashappyf orhi
m butthe
questi
onwasbengadeser veukwazi i
nyani,
agai
ni fItellhi
m bangabir
itehowwasIgoi ng
tol
iveseei
nghi
m abahur
t,Ir
eal
l
ydi
dn'
twanna
hur
thim...
..

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
18,
23:
52]Mca:
INSERT142

Ndumieint
roducedher,Ir
eallydidn'
twanna
hughernorshakeherhandbutf orthesakeof
NdumieIdid.WeateYandakeptonl ooki
ngat
me, wefi
nishedIcl
earedthetable,thelady
off
eredt
ohel pbutYandastoppedherandhe
hel
pedme.Wewentt othekitchenanddi shed
upthedessert
.

Ay
anda:
"bhabha,
whati
swr
ong?
"
Me:
"not
hingbhabha"
Ay
anda:
"doy
ouknowt
hatl
ady
?"
Me:
"noMt
ungwaIdon'
t"

Ayanda:
"Iknowy
oubhabha,
doy
ouknowher
"
Me:
"nol
ove"

Isaidthatwalkingoutofthekit
chent othe
dinni
ng,weatet hedesser
t,wewer echatti
ng
butbekunobanobut enseandagainIcleared
thetable,t
hel adyhelpedme.Iputt hedishes
i
nt hedishwashi ngmachine,Icloseditand
shecamecl osert omeandhel dmyar m.

Lady:
"youdar etel
lNdumi
sothatyouknowme
,youwil
lregr
etthedayyouwereborn"
Me:
"letgoof
fme"
Lady:"I'
m bei
ngser i
ous,I'
mf rom Langababy
doll
,Idon'
trespondwel ltobitcheslikeyou,
whodon'tmindt heirbusinesses, nzakufakaI
bott
lekopunye"shel ookedar ound"Iwon' tl
et
thi
ssli
pthroughmyf ingers,itbelongstome,
youknowIdon' tmakeempt yt hreats,Ididit
onceandIwi l
ldoi tagain"
Me: "funnypartyouthoughtyouwonbutl et
's
facethereal
it
y, di
dyour eal
l
ywin?Youdi dme
afavourbytakingwhatoncebel ongedtome,
nowIhav eamanar ealonewhoador esand
worshipsme"

Lady:"Isaythi
sagainbi
tch,youdaretel
l
Ndumisothatyouknowme, uzawuzisol
a!!,
I
am aKasichi
cknotaf ar
m gi
rlsi
yevana.

"Youmustbef
uckenki
ddi
ngmebi
tch,
thr
eat
eningmywif
einmyhouse,
whot hehel
l
doyouthinky
ouar
e?"ThatwasAyanda.

Shemov
edawayf
rom me

Ayanda:"Idi
dn'
tl
ikeyoubi
tchungenaapha
kwam andnowthis"

Hehal
fcl
osedhi
sey
es

Hesl
appedherandshescr
eamedli
kenobody
'
sbusi
ness.Oobabomdal
acamerushi
ng.

Ay
anda: "nooneImeannoonet
hreat
ensmy
wi
fe,
,bi
tch,si
yev
ana"
Mawande:
"whati
sgoi
ngonher
e?"
Ayanda: "askt
hisbi
tch,
Ndumiso,t
akethis
rubbishoutofmyhousebef
oreIdosomethi
ng
Iwill
r egr
et"

Ndumiso:"yi
nikant
iLast
bor
n,Babes,
whyar
e
youcr
ying"
Lady:
"it
sthatbi
tchkabhut
iwakho,
Ihat
eher"

Ayanda:"yousayonewor dbi
tch,andcallmy
wi
feabi t
chagain,youwil
lmeetyourancestor
s
i
nsecondsungenz enganof
efe"hewas
st
rangl
ingher,oobabomdalabanqanda.

Ay
anda:
"ar
eyouokbhabha?
"Hel
ookedatme

Inodded
Lady:
"takemehomebaby
"
Ndumi
e:"l
et'
sgo,
Iwi
l
lbebacksoon"

Msi
ra:"i
sthereany
onewhocant
ell
mewhati
s
goi
ngonhere?
"
Ayanda:"asky oursisterin-
law",heturnedand
cameclosertome, "yaziwenaInganathi
ndawuzendikukhabei mini i
benyengalenkani
yakhoawuzundikholwa! !
!,Ihaveaskedy ouif
youknowt hatshitandy ousaidno,whoi sthe
foolher
e!!
!"

Heroar
ed,Godzi
l
labevuki
le,
Itookonestepout
oft
hekit
chen,hegrabbedmyar mf
orcef
ull
y.

Ay
anda:
"wher
edoy
out
hinky
ouar
egoi
ng"
Me:
"Ineedt
orestI
'
mti
red"
Ayanda: "
BULLSHIT!!y
ouarenotgoi
ng
anywhereInganat
hiunt
ily
outel
lmewhowas
thatbi
tch"
Me:
"ngi
yekel
eAy
anda"

Hepul l
edmei ntothel
ounge,Iwasreal
l
ynot
wellbesidesavoi
dingAyandaandhi
s20
questi
ons.

Ay
anda:
"whowast
hatI
nganat
hi?
"
Me:
"noone"Ir
eal
l
yfel
tli
ghtheaded

Ayanda:"Msi
ra,t
alkt
oyoursi
steri
n-l
aw
befor
engimt
rapa"
Msi
ra:"st
opitmaan!
!,st
opi
t!
!Lookat
I
nganat
hi,
sheisnotf
ine"
Ay
anda:
"notf
inemybl
ackass"

Mawande:
"ar
eyouokl
astbor
n"
Me:
"I'
mti
redbabomdal
a"

Ayanda:
"Iwillgoandgety
ouat
hrowuzol
ala
butwearenotdone"
Me:
"thanky
ou"

Isleptinst ant
,Iwokeup3hour slat
er,there
wasnoone, Iwenttotheki t
chen.Iwashungr y
andIt ookabananaandat ei
t.Iwasaboutt o
foneAy andaandaskbakuphi whenIhear dloud
voicesi nthebasement ,withoutadoubtt he
otherv oicewasAy anda's.Irushedthereand
asexpect edAy andabelwisauNdumi e.Istood
there,Ndumi e'
scheekwasr ed, def
ini
telyitwas
Ayandawhopunchedhi m.War aandMsi ra
bebenqanda.

Me:
"andt
hen?
"

Noonehear dme, Ishout

edbutst i
llnoone
tookanot ice,howwasIsupposet oseparate
abadenganebakwaKhumal o.Iwentupt othe
kitchenItooktwopacketsoficeblocksint he
freezerngazit
helai
na10l i
tertupperware
bucketandIf il
ledi
twithwater.It
ookitintothe
basement, It
hrewwateri
nt hem ,t
hey
separ at
ed.

Ay
anda:
"heywenaI
ng.
..
.
Me: "Ihav
enev
erseensuchf
ool
s,ni
yi
zi
li
ma
yazi
, OUTOFMYHOUSE!!!
"

Theywer
eal
lsoaki
ngwet,
ngi
bat
hol
ekahl
e
bedi
bene.

Mawande:
"usi
that
haphi
isi
bin.
.."
Me:
"Isai
dOUT!
!"

Msi
ra:
"towher
e"
Me: "Idon'
tgi
veafl
y,OUT!
!ni
yokwenzabonke
obububhanxaemny
ango"

Ayanda:"I
'm notgoi
ngany
wher
ethi
sismy
housetoo"
Me:
"don'
tmakemebr
ing20l
i
ter
sofwat
er"

Ay
anda:
"butbh.
..
"
Me:
ani
zwangi
theOUT"
Ndumi
e:"l
etmegoandt
akemyf
one"
Me:
Ndumi
soKhumal
oOUT!
!

Theyal
lwentout,
Iopenedt
hegat
efort
hem.

Ay
anda:
"NO!
!I'
m notgoi
ngoutoft
heYar
d"
Me:
"OHHYES, youar
eAy
andaKhumal
o,gi
ve
met
hatst
upi
dfone"

Ay
anda:
"it
smyf
oneI
nganat
hisuphambana!
!"
Me:
"ndi
kuf
akei
mpamakemna,
let
hal
aa"

Ay
anda:
"yesesss"

Theywentout
.
Me: "masezi
buy i
l
eingqondol
etmeknow,
ngezenj
engihl
alenezil
waneezi
ngakwazi
ukhul
umaezihlezizi
kwebhana"
Ayanda:"howarewegoi
ngt
olety
ouknow,
i
fonezet
huzikuwe"

Me:
"Shutup!
!"
Msir
a: "gi
vememycarandhousekey
s
ngi
yekwami "

Me:"y
oushoul
dhavethoughtaboutthatbef
ore
uy
ekel
aezi
zi
li
mazakinizi
l
wazi ndal
a"

Icl
osedt hegat
eandwenti n.Istar
tedwit
h
supperuntil
Iwasdone.Iwentt otakeashower
andwat chedNigeri
anmovies,Iam afanzazo.
Ifi
nishedthefi
rstonekwaqalaenye.Iwat
ched
i
ttil
liphel
a.
Il
osttrackoft ime, Iwenttothebalcony,Lor
dit
wasdar kIwentt ocheckt heti
mei twasaf t
er
20:
30, Iwentdownst ai
rsthentothegat e.I
openedt hegat eshamet herewere,my
Khumal os, cacubabancamebadweba
umrabar ababadlalabazebakhathala.There
weredrinkbot tl
ecapsandst ones.Bebehlezi
nj
ebengancokol inoncokola,t
heyalllookedat
mebedi nwei ftheywereGodzi l
l
as
ngebangi gwinya.

Me:
"ar
eyoucomi
ngi
nornot
"
Mawande:
"mf
xm ,
soseuy
eka"

Me:
"good"

Ipr
essedt
her
emot
etocl
oset
hegat
e,t
heyal
l
j
umpedi
n

Msir
a:"yer
rhl
alendi
siv
akut
hwauy
ibul
l
y
ndi
zi
bonel
e"
Me:"ifyoust
il
lcomeher
ewi
tht
hatat
ti
tude,
ni
zol
alaemnyango"

Theyal
lmumbl
ed,
wewenti
nsi
de.

Me:"goandtakeshower,
Iwi
l
lsett
het
abl
e
f
orsolong"
Ay
anda:
"I'
m nohungr
y"bekwat
eumy
eni
wami
Me:"y
ouwi
l
lbr
ingy
ourassher
ewena"

Theyal
ltookashowerandcameback, t
hey
wereal
lquit
e,Ir
eallymissedt
hei
rcrazi
ness
nj
obakuthwaakuthethwamawusetafi
l
eni not
wi
ththeKhumal osyeyonandawobabanga
umsindokuyo,
tablemannersbafi
kazi
phel
il
e.
Mfxmm, Il
ovethem kodwa.

Me:
"Ihav
eanannouncementt
omake"

Theyal
ll
ookedatme

Me:
Ismi
l
ed"Il
ovey
oual
l"

Them :
mfxmmm

Andi
zenzi
Iloveabant
umasemzi
niwami
ninani
bacr
azybanjal
o.

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
18,
23:
59]Mca:
INSERT143

Msir
a: "l
ont
ouyaubayibul
l
ydaybydayl
ast
bor
n, howdoyouchase4menandgetaway
wit
hit"
Me: "y oulef
tmewi thnochoice,youar
eall
crazy,can'tyouspeakproper
lyli
keadul
tswit
h
outfighti
ngli
keanimals,tel
lmewhywer eyou
fi
ghting?"

Ay
andaandNdumi
espokeatonce

Me: "SHUTUP!!Oneper
sonatat
ime,
Iknow
youallcansi
ng"
At
anda:
"heywenaasi
zont
angazakho"

Me:
"thenbehav
eli
keadul
ts,
whathappened?
"
Ndumie:
"lastbornIneedy out
obehonest
wit
hme, It
rustyouthatIdon'
tdoubt,
Babes
sai
dsheknowsy ou"
Me:
"so?
"

Ayanda:"don'
tsayso,I
nganathi
didn'
tIask
youify
ouknowt hatr
ubbishandyousaidno"
Me:
"andbabomdal
a?"

Ndumie:ut
hi,youtookherboy
fri
end,and
f
akedtobepregnantthati
swhyherboyfr
iend
l
eftherf
oryou"

Me:
"sowear
etal
ki
ngaboutAy
andaher
e"
Ndumi
e:"no"

Ay
anda:
"that
'swhatIhav
ebeent
ell
i
ngNdu,
t
hatbi
tchi
sly
ing"
Ndumi
e:"
youdon'
tcal
lherbynames"

Lor
dhav
emer
cywi
tht
hesef
ool
s.

Me:
"Shut
.up.
you.t
wo!
!"
Me:
"babomdal
aat
hiwhendi
dthathappen?
"

Ndumi
e:"i
nyourf
ir
standsecondy
earat
CPUT"
Me:
"ok,
sowewer
ebot
hatCPUT"

Ndumie: "that
'swhatshesai
dtome, ut
hiyou
alsost
rangledherbefor
eAyandaslappedher,
youweret el
li
ngherthati
fshedarestel
lus
aboutyourpregnancyyouwil
lki
ll
her"
Me:
"ok"
Ayanda: "ify
oukeepont alki
ngcrapwena
ngomf aziwam ,Iwil
lblowt hatr
ottenbrai
nof
yours.UInganathindimfumeneelivir
gin
unci
ngandi yi
khupheleniinkomoy omqhomisa
suphambanaapha! !"

Mawande:"t
hat'
srubbi
sh,
shel
i
edt
oyouNdu,
Ay
andaist
ell
ingt
hetrut
h"
Me: "pleasekeepi tdownbabomdal a,thegirl
youcallyourgirl
fr
iendIknowher .Idi
dn'twanna
sayanythingbecauseIdi dn'twannar ui
nt hi
ngs
foryoubutIwasgoi ngtot el
l youwhent i
mei s
ri
ght.Ayandaaskedmei fIknowherbutI
deni
edbecauseIknewi fItellhimt hetruthhe
wasgoi ngtochaseheraway .Babomdal ado
youstil
lremembert hestoryItoldy ou,about
myexboy fr
iendtheonewhodumpedmei n
Bell
vil
l
e, thedayImetAy anda"
Ay
andabangedt
het
abl
e

Ay
anda:
"Iknewi
t!!,
Iknewi
t!
!

Babomdal
anodded

Me: "bhabhaplease,doyouremembert hegir

l
hewaswi th,ethiuMusohewon' tl
eaveherand
thechi
ldbecauseofme, t
hegirl
Ifoundin
Muso'sapar t
mentwear i
ngMuso' sshi
rt,the
gir
lwhowal kedinatlongstr
eetwit
hMuso"I
tol
dNdumi eeverythi
ngaboutmeandMuso
befor
e.

Ndumie:"Phi
ndi
we"Hesaidthati
naver
ylow
t
one,Icoul
dseethedi
sappoi
ntmenti
nhi
sface.
Me:
"Phi
ndi
l
ebabomdal
a"
Ndumie:"butt
hat
sNol
ubabal
o,t
hat
'
swhyI
cal
lherBabes"

Me:"wellmaybeshehast
wonamesbutt
he
oneIknowisPhi
ndil
e"

Ndumi
e:"soshehasaki
d,whydi
dshel
i
eto
me"
Me:yep,t
heoneshesaidngokaMusokant
ial
l
al
ongasi
ngowakhe.I
'
m sor
rybabomdal
a"
Ndumi
e:"
notassor
ryasIam "

Hest oodupandwentt ohisroom , myheart

real
lywentforhim butunf
ortunatel
ythereis
nothingbengi
zoyenza.Westay edtherechat
ting.
Istoodup, wenttothekit
chenandmadeacup
ofcof f
eeandacupoft eaformy self
.Iwentto
babomdala'sroom ,
Iknockedhedidn't
respond,
Iknockedagai
n,sti
llnor
esponse.I
openedthedooritwasdark,Iswit
chedonthe
l
ight,hewassitti
ngonthebedlookingdown.

Me:
"hey
"

Helif
tedhiseyes,ukubonewhensomeoney ou
tr
ulyl
oveandcar eforakhathazeki
leandther
e's
i
snothingyoucandot otakethatpai
naway
fr
om him /her,Ifel
tdefeated.Babomdalawas
andstil
li
sanangel ,tot
all
yt heopposit
eofhis
brot
hers.

Me:
"Imadey
oucof
fee"
Ndumi
e:"y
oushoul
dn'
thav
e"
Me:"yhari
teyoudon'tdeser
veitaf
ter
ni
phansenangi
misel
angenhl i
zi
yoeminiwi
th
y
ourbr
other
sbuty
ouneedi
t"

Ndumi e:"Ihatemy sel

flastborn, Ibel
i
evedan
outsiderov ermybr other,myownbl ood
l
ast born,lastbornyasekhay a, whowentext r
a
milest omakesur ewear ebet terpeople,who
gothi mselfintogangst er
ism justtoprovi
defor
us.Iam adi sgr
acel astborn.IknowAy anda
canbecr azysomet imesbutIshoul dhave
l
istened".

Me: "youareinlovebabomdal a,youwillmake

mistakesli
keeveryoneelse,justdon'tall
ow
peoplebanahl
uleningavumeli nami i
mbala, y
ou
arebrother
sandy ouwillfor
ev erbebrothers"

Ndumi
e:"howdoIl
ookatAy
andanow"
Me:
"justdon'
tbeaty
our
sel
ftoomuch,goand
tal
ktohim br
other-to-br
other,onet
hingyou
don'
tknowaboutAy andaheisagoodlist
ener
eventhoughabacrazysometimes"

Ndumie:"goodl
ist
ener
,Idoubtheonl
yli
stens
t
oy ou,asweall
dobecauseyouareabull
y"
Me:
"ahhhhha,
babomdal
a"

Isul
ked

Ndumie:"ok,ok,younot
,buthonestl
y,Ican'
t
l
astbor
n,I'
mthinki
ngofmovingouttomorrow "

Me:
"y ouwil
ldonosuchbabomdal
a,j
ustt
alk
t
oAyanda,Igoty
ourback"

Hesmi
l
ed
Ndumie:"thanky oumf aziwomfowethu,l
ont
o
yay
azindi
mdal akangakanani kuwe,
usi
that
hephiisi
bindisondit
helangamanzi
"
Me: "youar
eallcrazyangi
thi
,and
mabenisohl
ulaoobabomdalabengi
zoni
separat
ornj
ani?"

Ndumi
e: Iwi
l
ltel
ltheKhumalostochargey ou
nobai
tsonecowfordisr
espect
ingyourelders"
.

Ismi
l
edshy
ly

Ndumi
e:"I
'
mjoki
ng"
Me:"If
eelembar
rassedt
houghbuty
oul
eftme
wi
thnochoi
ce"
Ndumi
e:"Ay
andai
ssol
uckyt
ohav
eyou"
Me: "y
ouhav
etol
dme100000t
imes
babomdal
a"

Ndumie:"Imustsaywhoev ergaveyouthe
nameSimanye, i
ngathisheknewbeforeyou
camekwakhumal othatyouwillr
eal
lykeepus
toget
her,Si
nenhl
anhlangofumanawenaasour
l
astborn"
.

Me: "t
hat
'smynamekeuSi
nenhl
anhl
a
babomdal
a"

Ndumi
e:"
wear
ereal
l
yluckyl
astbor
n"
Me:don'
tworryt
hingswil
lwor
koutt
hemsel
ves
onedayj
ustdon'
tdespai
r"
Ndumi
e:"Idoubtv
erymuch"
Me:
"youwi
l
lsee"

"Let
'sgosi
yol
alaI
nganat
hi"t
hatwasAy
anda

Me:
"comei
nbhabha"
Ay
anda:
"Idon'
tl
ikehy
pocr
it
es"

Ndumi
e:"pl
easeAy
anda,
justl
i
st.
..
."
Ay
anda:
'fokofwena,
val
elony
eke"

Me:
"bhabha"
Ay
anda:
"uphumeaphowena,
ayi
kuf
uni
"

Me:"don'
tmakemebr i
nganother10l
it
ersof
wat
erndi
kuthel
engawoandlockyouhere,
ni
zokhul
uma"
Ayanda:"y
ouar
ewast
ingy
ourt
ime,
phuma
si
yolal
a"

Me:
"Ay
andaKhumal
o,comeher
e"
Ayanda:
"mhlandikukhabawenaawuzul
i
bal
a
nj
ebauci
ngandi
yintangayakhonj
e"

Hecameandsatnextt
ome

Me: "nankuyaumbhedemkhuluy
ini
indaba
uzozi
nyakathi
sel
aki
mi ,t
hisi
saonesit
ter
couchsukake"

Hewentt
ositonthebed.Zi
nePRI
DEi
zi
ngabe
zi
kaLomzinoZanodumo.
Me:
"sor
tyour
sel
ves"
Ndumie:"don'
tl
eavel
ast
bor
n,wewi
l
l
def
ini
tel
yneedyou"

Me:"youdon'tneedme,youar
ebr
other
s
angi
thianddon'tmakemecomewi
thahorse
pi
pe"

Il
eftoobabomdal
awer
epl
ayi
ngpl
ayst
ati
on.

Msi
ra:
"baphi
ooNdu"
Me:
"inbabomdal
a'sbedr
oom "

Mawande:"youleftt
hem t
her
eal
one,
Ijust
hopey
ouinsuredthem"
Me:"tr
ustmetheywil
lcomealiv
e,t
heydare
nj
eputafi
ngeroneachothert
heywi
llknowme
"

Mawande:
"nci
nci
nci
lastbor
n"
Me:
"doy
ouwantcof
fee"

Them :
"yes"

Iwenttomakeitngabani
keza,af
tersometi
me
YandaandNdumiecamebackshout i
ngateach
other,
Ijumpedsodidoobabomdala,lor
dwhat
haveIdone.

Mawande:
"whatdi
dIt
ell
you?
"
Me:
"I.
..I.
.Though.
..

Godt
heyl
aughedatme
Ndumi
e:goty
ou,
ugezat
oomuch"
Msi
raandMawandel
ookedatme.Ishr
ugged
myshoul
der
s.

Ayanda: "asKhumalos,wedecidedt
ocharge
youInganathi
fordi
srespect
ingamadoda"

Theyallagr
eed,Idon'tknowwhathappened,I
j
ustfeltsoemot
ional,theKhumaloswerereal
l
y
drai
ningmyener
gy .Istart
edcr
ying.

Them :
"wear
ejoki
ngl
astbor
n"

HayikemyAmazonr
iverwasf
ull
itneededt
o
behalved.
Ayanda:"bhabha,whati
swrong,whyar
eyou
cr
ying,i
sitbecauseofwhatwesai
d?"

Ishookmyhead

Ay
anda:
"whati
sitt
hen?"
Me:
"I'
m hungr
y"Iwasr
eal
l
yhungr
y

Theyal
ll
aughedatmet
hatmademecr
yhar
der
.

Ndumie:"sincewhendoy
oucr
ywheny
ouar
e
hungr
ylastborn"
Me:
"I'
m hungr
yYanda"

Ay
anda:
"si
sandakudl
anj
ebhabha"
Me:
"Iam hungr
ymi
na"
Ay
anda:
"Iwi
l
lmakey
ouf
oodnow"
Mawande: "dl
alaulast
bor
n,bal
ekauchar
gwa
af
teregezi
l
eemi ni
"

Msi
ra:"nha,
Idon'tt
hinksoWara,
somet
hing
i
snotr
ightwi
thherit
sbeenweeksnow"

Ndumie:"your
ightMsi
ra,shehasnotbeen
her
sel
fkwabeforewewenttoSaldahna,
mhoyeAyanda,Iwil
lmakefoodforher
"

Ay
andamademesi
tonhi
slap

Ay
anda:"whati
swr ongMar
hadebey
ouar
e
maki
ngmewor r
iednow"
Ishruggedmyshoulders.Ndumiemademea
sandwichbecausebekuphel
il
eukudl
akwe
supper.Iat
ethenwenttosleep.

I
ngakaYanda;
)
[
08/
19,
00:
04]Mca:
INSERT144

Weekswentbyi twasendofMar ch.My

graduati
onwasgoi ngt obeont he11Apr il
.
Yandahelpedmef indmyacademi cat t
ir
e,Ial
so
boughtmycl othes.Igotti
cket
s, Ihadonl ytwo.
Ineededmor ecasi twasgoingt obeTot i
,Dad,
Yanda,Xhanti,Msira,Ndumie,Lomzi and
Mawande.SoIneeded6ext r
a, withZeeand
Siphe'shelpIgotthem amany eIhadt obuy
them butatfai
rprice,khont
oingat hengway o
eskolweni.
OoTot if
lewonThursdaydaybeforemy
graduati
on,theysl
eptatourhouset hen
fol
lowingdayweal l
wentforshopping.Mi nano
Yandawewer esor
ted.Weusedonecar ,we
fi
rstdroppedthem i
nCanalwalkthenwentt o
capet own,Ihadtodomyhai randnai l
s.Then
wedr ovebacktoCanalwalk.

Theyweredonebesesubways,
wej oi
nedthem
sebedl
aalr
eady,
ourfoodcame.Iatengaqeda
butsti
l
lIwasnotful
l
.Ijoi
nedAyanda.

Ayanda:"hay
ibhabha,
didy
oudr
inky
our
food?"
Dad:"i
sshedonealready
,phel
awear
est
il
l
eat
ingufi
kesi
dlaal
ready"

Isul
ked.
Me:
"bengi
l
ambi
l
e"
Dad:"hawucha,ngi
yazi
uyazi
fel
angokudl
a
butt
hisi
stoomuch"

Tot
i:"l
eavemychi
ldal
one,I
'
m sur
esheis
ner
vousaboutt
oni
te,
yidl
awenamhana"

Wefini
shedeatingandwentvi
aMcDonald's
f
oodcour tnoYanda,Iwant
edthei
rstr
awberry
mil
kshake.Otherswenttot
heparki
nglot
.While
wewereint hequeuethesmel
lofNandos
mademehungr y.

Me:"Yanda,
Ithi
nkwhi
leyouqueuehere,l
et
megoandbuywholechi
ckenatNandos.
Ay
anda:
"forwho?
,wej
ustat
ebhabha"
Me: "f
orusbhabha,
whenwear ehungr
yit
s
st
il
l1pm and6zoshayakudal
a"
Ayanda:"youmeanfory
oubhabha,hay
i
bhabhauhambawedwalatel
ynoGi
mba
akat
hathini
xkuwe"

Me:
"soy
ouar
ecal
l
ingmeaGi
mba"

Iwaspi ct
uri
nguGi mba, somethingwithbi g
mouth,bigcheeks,bighands,bi
gf eetandbig
tummy ,soYandawasr eall
ycalli
ngmet hat,
real
l
y? Istar
tedcry
ing,Ilefthi
m standingthere,
ndakhalal
analomilkshake.Igottothepar ki
ng
l
otandgoti nsi
dethecar .

Toti
:"yini
manje,wher
eisAy
anda?Whyar
e
youcry
ingAngel?"
Dad:
"Angel
yini
khul
uma"

Me:
"not
hing"

Iputmyheadonmyknees,
Icr
iedhar
der
.

Msira:
"sohl
uleki
l
ethi
naTot
i,shei
sfor
ever
cr
ying"

Af
terawhi
l
eAy
andacame.

Ay
anda:
"bhabhaI
'
m sor
ryMar
hadebe"
Ndumi
e:"whathappened?"

Ayanda:"shewantedtobuyaful
lchi
ckenat
Nandosathiwenz
elaift
herei
sanyone
ozal
amba"

Mawande:"dl
alaulastbor
nebenzel
ayenaand
t
henwhathappened?"
Ay
anda:
"Imi
stakenl
ycal
l
edheruGi
mba"

Theyallbur
sti
nlaught
ermf
xmmm,
Icr
ied
harder
.

Dad:"Ay
andangi
zokushay
anjengengane
yami
uthiwugi
mba,hewassti
l
llaughi
ng"

Ayanda: "i
twasami stakedad,bhabhawil
l
neverbeagi mba,ev
ent hi
smil
kshake,she
won'tdr
inkit,l
etmet hrowiti
nthebin"

YhoooIj
umped;
'
)
Me: "chaa!
!!Iwi
l
ltaket
hat
"Isai
dthati
n
desperati
on.

Hay iketheyl
aughednonst op.Idr
ankmy
milkshakengikhalangi
njalo.Theway
bengingakhonabengat hiukudl
a
kuyangiduduzela.WhenIwasdone, ngaqal
a
ngoNandos, Ist ar
tedwit
hadr umsti
ck,bythe
ti
mewegothomebekushi yekei
sfubasodwa.

Itookashower,wealldid,wewer ereadytogo,
Iwasgoingtostar
tatFoschiniformakeupand
thenWoolwort
hsformyey ebrows.Theywer e
notgoi
ngtotwizzthem butstr
aightenedthem.

Msi
ra:
"wher
eist
hatNandos,
Igaugey
ehl
i
le"
Me:
"int
hemi
crowav
e"
Msi
ra:
"ther
eisnomeather
eonl
ybones"
Ayanda:"doy
ouwannat
ell
me,
Ibought
bones"

Msi
ra:
"look"i
twasj
ustapi
ecey
esi
fuba
Ay
anda:
"bhabha!
!"

Isul
ked.

Tot
i:"t
hatisnottrue,
mybabywon'
teatt
he
whol
echickenayedwa"
Dad:
"wel
lshedi
d"

Judgemebuti
nkukhuyakwaNandosandi
yi
va
tui
skei
bengat
hii
qaley
abethwabefor
e.
Me:
"let
'sgo,
Iwi
l
lbel
ate"
Dad:"oyenamt
uukuchani
l
enguAy
anda
mayet
hiunguGi
mba"
Me:
"ngi
rit
e"

Wel ef
tin2car s.Dad,
Toti,
meandYanda.
Xhanti
,Msira,MawandeandNdumi e.ULomzi
bezongenakuXhant it
hensithathe3car sbut
shedecidednott ocome,Ihav eorganizeda
ti
cketforherandaskeduAy andat ofoneher
,
hedidbutathi shewon'tmakei t
.Itwasf i
neby
meagai nItri
ed.

WewenttoFoschinit
henWool wort
hsthenwe
wer
eofftoBel
lvi
l
le.Thegraduati
onceremony
wasgoi
ngtotakeplaceesportshall
.Wefir
st
t
ookfot
oszomndeni asmanyaswewant ed.
Thecer emonystart
eduntil
theend.Wet ook
fotosagain,welef
taft
er9pm , weordered
pizzaonourwayhome, YES,throughthickand
thinIgotmyDIPLOMA.Weat eandwent
separateways.

Foll
owingday,itwasgoingtobemypar ty,
everyt
hingwasor gani
zedbymybr other-in
l
aws, myhusbandandmypar ents.Thepar t
y
start
edat12:00pm, mostyeguestwer egoing
tolandekusenisooobabomdal aspental most
thewhol emorningbebal
andafrom air
port.

Msira'sfr
iends, Wara'
sf ri
ends,Ndumi e's
fr
iends,Ayanda'snotthathehasmanyIguess
myhusbandhasmor eenemi est hanfri
ends.Oo
mam Jaca, Toti'scoll
eagues, baba's
coll
eagues, Xhanti
'sfriendsfrom Pretor
iathey
werefour.Myf ri
ends, Zee,Siphe, Phumzaand
Odwawer ethere,IdoubtooZeebay i
vayonke
l
ey ayisenzeka,theywerejustcrazyaboutthe
Tswaneguy s,worsewhent heywer e
i
ntroducedacademi cwiset heydidpret
tywell
forthemselves.Mymot herinlawwasi nvi
ted
butagai nshechosenottocome.

Itwasspeeches, gi
ftsandtheypr
oposeda
toast
,bendi
yibonay onkel
eibiy
enzeka,
Iwas
hungrymina, t
hesnackbesibekweezit
afi
leni
I
thi
nksadli
way imisonke,hhabebebedla
kancaneIwasst arv
ingmina.

I
twasti
mef ormyspeech,Myhusbandwasby
mysi
de,thenmyparentsandmybr otherin
l
awsalli
nthei
racademicatt
ir
es.Event hough
myhusbandbengenayoIwasreal
lyproudof
hi
m,ukhiphe5graduat
es,oobabomdal aplus
nami
.Isaidmyspeechinall
Ireal
lythankedmy
parent s,myHUSBAND, hehasbeent heref r
om
dayoneImethi m.Hemi ghthav ebeenat hug
buthev aluededucat i
on.Fi nal
lyther eall
yparty
start
ed, t
her ewer elotofpeopl eincluding
Muso, wei nvi
tedhi m, i
nfactIdidandYanda
akabi nanki ngeev ent houghIknewhewasnot
100%ok.Hewasr eallydoingwel lforhim self.
Hehascompl etedhisB- tech, hewasdoi nghis
Mast ersIwasr eallypr oudofhi m ofcour sehe
waswi thNt ati
.Theyhandedmet hegiftandI
thankedt hem.Wasebi ngelelakoTot i
,thepar t
y
wentont illearl
yhour sofSunday, mypar ents
andt heirfriendsleftat10: 30toDur ban, we
tookt hem t oairportnoYandasav aleli
sa.
Xhant i'
sfriends, theirfli
ghtwasat17: 00.
Xhant istayedaweek.

Daybefor
eXhantil
eft
,Iwokeuparound10am.
Ayandawasnotther
e, It
ookashower,asI
wasabouttol
oti
onmybodyAy anda'
sfonerang.
I
twasi nthenur
sery,ubekuphiv
ele?.Si
ncethe
nurser
ywasjustoppositeourbedroom,I
wrappedabodytowel aroundmybodyand
wenttoanswerit
.AsIwasexi ti
ngt hebedr
oom ,
Xhantiwascomingin.

Xhant
i:"Ay
an.
..

Boom sanqubuzanakwawanal ot
owel ngi
nqunu
ngi
njalo.Iwasnev erbeensoembar rassedin
mylife.Al lIcoul
ddowast ocovermyboobs
wit
hmyr i
ghtarm andcov ermytreasur ewi
th
mylef thand.Ididn'tknowwhethertobendand
pi
ckupt het owelortorunbacktothebedr oom.

"
I'
m so.
..
"Wechant
ed,
hebentdownand
wayi
cosha.
Xhant
i:"I
'
mlooki
ngf
orAy
anda"

Idi
dn'
trespondIjustgotinsidethebedroom
andcl
osedt hedoor,Istoodt her
eforfew
minut
estryi
ngtocollectmy self
.Il
oti
onedmy
bodyandgotdressed.

Iwentdownst ai
rs,t
heguyswereweresti
ll
havi
ngbr eakf
ast,Ayandawasther
etoo,
seeminglybevukel
etothegymroom.Isatnext
toAyandaandt heywerechat
ti
ngamahloni
bengi
thini.

XhantikeptonlookingatmeIwouldlookdown,
hekeptondoi ngthat,i
nawayi twasir
rit
ati
ng
andIthinkAyandanot i
cedbecausehelooked
atXhantiandmef oralongtimewithhi
sey es
hal
fclosed..
..
..
I
ngakaYanda;
)
[
08/
19,
00:
08]Mca:
INSERT145

Iwassonotcomf ort
ableAy anda'
sey eswere
pi
ercingrightthroughmyski n.Weat eandwe
weredoneIcl earedt hetabl
eandwentt othe
ki
tchen, Ipackedt hedishesinthedish
washingmachi ne,Itri
edtocloseitbutit
wouldn'tclose

Me:
"ahhhhhh,
"Ibangedi
ttwi
ce
Ay
anda:
"bhabha,
whati
swr
ong?"
Me:
"it
sthi
sst
upi
dmachi
ne,
itwon'
tcl
ose"
Ay
anda:
"it
sok,
rel
ax"
Hegav emeagl assofwat er
,It
ri
edt odri
nki t
butIwasshaking, i
tfel
landbroke.Itr
iedto
pickupthepiecesbutIcutmyf i
nger.Istar
ted
cryi
ngIwasn'tcryi
ngbecauseIwascutbya
glassIdon'
tknownami whyIwasr eal
lycryi
ng.
Isatdownnganaba.

Ay
anda:
"shi
t!!,
letmet
akecar
eoft
his"
Me:
"it
sfi
ne"

Ayanda:"I
nganathi!
!!,
comeletmetakecar
eof
thi
sazoy
olal
ay oulookexhaust
ed.

Het
ookasav
iet
teandpr
essedi
tonmyf
inger
.

Xhant
i:"i
tsokIwi
l
lcl
eant
his"
Ay
anda:
"sur
e"
Heledmet oourbedroom.Het
henr
insedmy
f
ingerandputaplast
eron.

Ay
anda:
"li
eabi
t,Iwi
l
lwakey
ouupl
ater"
Me:
"thanky
ou"

Iwokeupanhourlat
erIwashungr
y,Iwent
downst
air
s,ooAyandawerei
nthepool
.Imade
asmoothi
e.

"
Cel
ungi
thel
elenami
"Il
ookedupi
twasXhant
i

Me:
"ok"
Xhant
i:"ar
eyouok,
youwer
enotKear
li
er"
Me:
"I'
m cool
babomdal
a"
Xhant
i:"I
'
m sor
ryaboutwhathappenedear
li
er
"

Me:
"met
oo"
Xhant
i:"i
twasmyf
aul
t,Ishoul
dhav
eknocked
"

Me: "honestl
yit
scool
andcanwenott
alk
aboutitpl
ease"
Xhant
i:"butI.
.

Me: "butnothi
ngbabomdal
a,I'
m embar
rassed
al
readydon'tmakeitwor
sepl
ease"
Xhanti:"butI
'
m not,asthematt
eroffactI
thankooKhumaloforlet
tingmeseesuch
beauty
"hesmi l
ed.
Il
ookedathi
mindi
sbel
i
ef

Me: "Iwi
l
lpr
etendasi
fIdi
dn'
theart
hat
babomdal
a"
Xhant
i:"l
astbor
nli
sten.
.

Me: "l
ist
ent
owhat. .
..
"Iwalkedoutofthe
ki
tchenandwentupstai
rs.Il
aidonthebed.

"I
nganat
hiKhumal
o!!
!"

Ayanda:"whati
sgoi
ngon,
Ihav
ebeen
scr
eamingyourname"
Me:
"I'
m sor
ry"
Ay
anda:
"whati
swr
ong?"
Me:
"not
hingMt
ungwa"

Hecameandl
i
enextt
ome

Ayanda:"whati
sgoi
ngonbet
weeny
ouand
Xhanti
?"
Me:
"meandXhant
i?whatdoy
oumean?"

Ayanda:"I
'
m notaf ool
Inganat
hinei
thercr
azy,
Isawyouinthedi
ningroom thi
smorning"
Me:
"not
hing"

Hest
oopupandwentt
othesaf
e,heunl
ocked
i
t.
Agun???GodknowhowmuchIhat
eand
af
rai
dofguns

Ayanda:"uyandi
nyel
amossu-Xhanti,
Iwi
l
l
neverbegri
ndedbyanothermaninmyown
houseevenifi
tsmyfuckenbrot
her"

Me:
"Ay
anda,
List
en!
!!
!
Ayanda:"l
ist
entowhatexact
ly?
?,andi
thi
you
sai
ditsnot
hing,Iknowyouar
ehiding
somethi
ngInganathi

Me: "putthatbackpl
ease"Isai
dthati
na
shakyvoice
Ay
anda:
"heywenasuka"

Me:
"okIwi
l
ltel
ly.
..Ir
ant
othebat
hroom and
puked.

If
lushedi
tandrinsemymouthandhands.
Ayandawasstandingi
nthedoor

Me:
"pr
omi
seme,
youwon'
tbeangr
y"
Ay
anda:
"speakI
nganat
hi"

Me:
uXhant
i..
.Mhmmhh.
.
Ayanda:"heywenaspeakbef
orendi
kuny
athel
a
,whathappened?"

Me: "Xhant
iki
nd-a-sawmenakedbhabha"I
sai
dt hatwi
thmyey
esclosed
Ayanda:"NAKED!!
!Wher
e?How?Ar
eyou
cr
azyInganat
hi?
?"
Me:
"nobhabha,
itwasanhonestmi
stake"
Ay
anda:
"wher
ewer
eyou?"

Me: "here",Itol
dhim whathappened"
honestl
yIdidn'tknowubabomdalauzozal
aand
nayehewasn' tawarebengi
nqunu"

Ayanda:"tel
lmeat
leasty
ouhadabr
aand
underwear
"

Il
ookeddown.

Ayanda:"
FUCK!!!Heki
ckedt
hebed,Simanye
Khumalo!
!!
,howcany oubesocar
eless,kwezi
vul
tur
eszasekhaya"
Me:
"I'
m sor
ryYanda"
Ayanda:"somybrot
hersawy
ounakedand
Xhanti
ofall
peopl
e"

Inodded.

Ayanda:"hewil
lbeaf
teryou,
hewil
lst
opf r
om
nothingt
omakesurehegetsy
ou,behl
eli
ekufunavel
e"
Me:
"Idoubtbhabha"

Ayanda:heywennaInganat
hiKhumalo
kusemhl
abeniaphanotinEdenwhereabantu
behambamapunapunakungabindabazal
utho"
Me: "canwest optal
ki
ngaboutt
his,I'
m
embarrassedalr
eadyandpl
easeputthatt
hing
awayitsscari
ngthehell
outofme".Heputit
backinthesafe.
Ay
anda:
"Ishoul
dteachy
ouhowt
ousei
t"
Me:
"chababahIwi
l
lpass"

Ayanda:"ungumf
azi
wegi nsanonot
eksi
bhabha,
youareasol
dierbyforce"
Me:"i
tlooksl
i
keIneedt
obef
il
li
n,ar
eyoua
t
hugoranex-thug"

Ayanda: "at
hugwi
l
lal
way
sbeat
hugbhabha"
helaughed..
.
Me: "Ay
andaKhumal o!!
!,whatareyoutryi
ng
totel
lmekahlekahl
e? "I
nawaybengi casul
au
Ayandaandyenabiy
ijokeyonkelent
o

Ayanda: "thatIl
oveyou",heki ssedmyneck
"butt
hinkaboutit,youcan'tgoar oundwitha
guniny ourcarubeungayaziisebenzanjani"
Me: "heywenamt anakaZanoduma, ut
hini!so
mnandi hambanegunI 'm mycar,
thatI'
m not
evenawar eofitkodwathecari
smi ne,i
f
ndingasearch-
wangamaphoy i
sa,whatwi l
lIsay,
ormhl ampeufunangiboshwe"

Ay
anda:
"theywi
l
lnev
erf
indi
tbhabha"
Me: "ifsowhyisi
tinmycarcasy
ouhar
dly
dr
iveitandIcan'
tusei
t"

Ayanda:"it
sforyoursafet
yandyouwil
lusei
t
mhlaidi
ngekawhetheryakwazi
orawukwazi
kuyi
sebenzi
sa.
..
"

Me: "Ay
andaKhumaloususel
aguninmycar!
!,
IneednogunminaorIwil
lgoandr
epor
tyou
ngokwami"
Ay
anda:
"justdon'
tfor
geti
fbengi
pophano
Mt
ungwauhambanam "
Me:
"mf
xmm whyngakushadav
ele"

Ayanda: "becausey oul

ovemeMar hadebe"he
l
ickedhislowerli
pseduct i
vel
y,andhalfcl
osed
hiseyes.Godknowst hatmademehor ny
i
nstantbutIcontainedmy sel
f.Hetookoffhi
st-
shir
tandhi sboxershortsi
ncebekesuko
swimmerandwasnaked: '
(

Ayanda:"ar
eyousurey
oudon'
twantme"he
camecloserandbi
temyear
Me:"no!!Mymouthsai
dnobutMarhadebe
wasscr
eamingnowbhabha,
nowMtungwa!!
"

Hewenttotakeashower,Ilai
donthebed, I
wastur
ningandtossi
ng,If
eltsohotIt
ri
ed
har
dernottothi
nkaboutAyandabutngehl
uleka.
Itookof
fmyclot
hesandwentt
ojoi
nhi
m.I
huggedhimf
rom theback.

Ayanda:
"yini
ngoku,
didn'
tyousayy
oudon'
t
wantme?"
Me:
"whosai
dIwanty
ou?
"

Ay
anda:
"ify
oudon'
twhyar
eyouher
e"
Me:"hayi
boi
sther
eanythi
ngwr
ong
mangi
gezawi
thmyhusband"

Wewerekind-a-whi
sper
ingt
ooneanot
her
.I
st
art
edtouchi
nguMt
ungwa

Ayanda:"
Iknewuf
unani
butIwant
edy
out
o
sayit"
Me:
"whatdoIwant"
Ayanda:
"uMt ungwa,
whatel
seand
awuzumthol
a"

It
urnedhi
m andwentonmyknees

Me:
"ar
eyousur
e?"

Ay
anda:
"yhangowa.
..
..

Itooku-Mtungwai
ntomymout h,Isuckedhim
sl
owly,taki
nghiminchbyinch.Icoul
dfeelhim
goingbi
ggerandharderi
nsidemymout hfil
l
ing
mymout h

Ist
art
edgaggi
ngandthr
oati
ngmysel
f.It
hen
movedfast
erandf
ast
er.Usi
ngbot
hmyt ongue
andmyhands.Yandawasmoani ng
uncontr
oll
able,Idi
dt hatforalongti
meunti
lI
coul
dsee, hewasr eachinghiscli
max.Hetr
ied
tomov emyheadusi nghishandsbutIdidn'
t
mov eandinch.

"M,
,
oveI
ng,
,
anat
hi!"hesai
d.

Icont
inueddoi
ngwhatIwasdoi
ng.

Ayanda:"shi
t!!I
nga,
,
,n,
,
athi,m,
,
ove"hecame
i
nmymout h,si
ncewewer ei
ntheshower,
ngakhaf
ulahi
sseedsphansi.

Ay
anda:
"yer
rSi
many
e,y
ouamazemedai
l
y"
Me:"I
'
m heretopleaseMrKhumal
o,comel
et
mewashyourback"
Ay
anda:
"andt
hen?
"
Me:
"andt
henwhat?
"

Ay
anda:
"ar
ewedone?
"
Me:
"yep,
Ihav
ecompl
etedt
hej
obIst
art
ed"

Ay
anda:
"I'
m notcompl
aini
ngt
hough"
Me:
"good,
letm.
..
"

Hepi nnedmeagai nstt

hewal landstar t
ed
suckingmyboobs, heli
ftedmeandi nsert
ed
from thatposi
ti
on, hay
ikeMt ungwadi dhis
thinguntil
webot hcame, DAMNIcoul dn't
standonmyown, Iwast rembl
inghehel ped
andwashedbot hofus, hethencarri
edmet o
bedaswetasIwas.Iwassof i
nished.Hewent
t
olockt
hebedr
oom doorandl
i
enextt
ome.
..

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
00:
12]Mca:
INSERT146

"
Mhmmmmm akusanuki
kamnandi
"Isai
dthat
wal
ki
ngdownt
hestai
rst
othedi
nni
ngroom.

Ayanda:"anyt
hingf
ory
oumywi
fe,
comegi
ve
daddyakiss"
Mawande:
"hel
l
a,wear
eeat
ingher
e,st
opt
hat
"
Ay
anda:
"tsek"

Ayandadi
shedforme, Isatnextt
ohim andhe
ki
ssedmycheek.Itooksomef oodfr
om his
pl
ate.
Ay
anda:
"bhabha!
!!
"
Me:
"ngi
yezwa,
youdon'
thav
etoshout"

Iwaschewi
ngmyf
ood

Ay
anda:
"whati
swr
ongwi
thy
ou?
"
Me:
"not
hing,
mhmmm t
hist
ast
ewonder
ful
"

Ayanda:
"hay
imaar
nInganat
hi,
whatar
edoi
ng?
"
Me:
"eat
ing,
isi
twr
ong?
"

Ay
anda:
"si
ncewhendoy
oueateggs?"
Me:"Idon'
teateggsvel
e,y
ouknowhowdoI
f
eel
ngamaqada, ngi
zondai
vumbal
awol
il
odwa
nj
e"

Mawande:
"lastbor
n!!
"
Me:
"yi
ni,
Idon'
teateggs"

Msir
a:"taAyl
ashoul
dtakeyouforcheckup,
I
hav
eaf eart
hati
nobauqalauhl
anya,yi
nil
e
i
semlonyeni
wakhonasesandl
eni"
Me: "i
ts.
..
..
"Ilookedatmyhand,
yes
i
bingamaqanda.

Me:
"si
ncewhendoIeateggs?
"

Funnypar
tIdi
dn'
tfeel
li
kev
omi
ti
ng,
thatwas
str
ange.

Ay
anda:
"Inganat
hiKhumal
o"
Me:
"yi
niAy
anda"

Ayanda:"ubuhagwanal
atel
y,udl
ayonkei
nto
nongazi
dli
yo"
Me:"Ay
anda,mekumelev el
eushokanj
alo,
mf
xmmm ,Ihavelostappeti
te.

Ist
art
edcr
ying.

Ndumie:"hayi
maar
nAyanda,
youcanbeso
i
nconsi
derat
esomet
imes"
Ay
anda:
"Iwasj
oki
ngbhut
i,honest
ly"
Me:
"ungi
biz
engengul
ubepho?"

Ist
oopupandr anupstai
rs,
itwashotout
side
butIgotunderblanket
sandcri
edli
kenobody
'
sbusiness.Ayandawalkedi
n.
Ay
anda:
"bhabha,
I'
m sor
rymf
azi
wam"
Me:
"wongi
yekaAy
anda"

Ayanda:"Iwasj
oki
ngbhabha,
Idi
dn'
tmeant
o
humil
iat
eyou"
Me:
"wel
lyoudi
dbhabhaungi
bizengengul
ube
"

Ayanda:"xol
obhabha,
comel
et'
sgouy
odl
a,
youdidn'
teat
"
Me:
"hl
uti
Yanda"

Ayanda:"hay
iInganat
hi,
youdi
dn'
teat,
stop
cr
yingal
oku"
Me:
"I'
m notcr
yingYanda"
Ay
anda:
"wenzani
kecasnazi
iny
embezi
zehl
a"
Me:
"I'
m hungr
yYanda"

Ayanda:"hayiamenuyagul
awena,Inganat
hi!
!
,didn'
tyousayyouarenothungr
y?"
Me:
"Iam Yanda"

Ayanda:"l
et'
sgouy
odl
akeormustIbr
ingy
ou
food?"
Me:
"noYandaIdon'
twantf
ood"

Ayanda:
"heywenaInganathindi
kufake
i
mpamamnay ini
ngaweuf unanikanti!
!!
!"
Me:
"mar
shmal
l
owsYanda"

Ay
anda:
"ist
hatf
oodory
ouar
ecr
azy
?"
Me:"ther
ey ougoagai
nYanda,
cal
l
ingme
cr
azy
,atfi
rstyousai
dI'
m api
g"

Icr
iedhar
der
.

Ayanda:
"Idi
dn'
tmeanitt
hatwaybhabha,
I'
m
sorr
ykeMashwabada"
Me:"yekelaAyanda,youhat
emev
ele,
Iwi
l
lgo
andbuythem myself"
Ay
anda:
"ok,
ok,
Iwi
l
lgoandbuyt
hem "

Hel
eft
,Ndumi
ecame.

Ndumi
e:"
lastbor
n,whati
sgoi
ngon"
Me:
"not
hingbabomdal
angi
ri
te"
Ndumie,i
fyouar
e,whyar
eyoul
i
ket
his?I
'
m
worr
iedr
eall
y.
Me: "I'
mj ustt
ir
edbabomdal a,
Ifeelso
overwhelmed,itswork,B-t
ech,Unisa,Ger
man
cl
assesandAy andaher ewhosomet i
mes
behaveli
kea5y earol
d"

Ndumi
e:"ar
eyousur
eit
sonl
ythat
?"
Me:
"yesbabomdal
a"

Ndumi e: "st
opcr y
ingthen,uzogula.Ibrought
yout his"hegav emeapr egnancytest,t
he
smal lones,theonesdoctors,hospit
alsand
cli
nicsnor mall
yuse."Justuseitwheny ouar e
ready"
Me: "soy
out
hinkt
hatI
'
m pr
egnant
,I'
m not
babomdal
a"
Ndumi
e:"j
ustt
obesur
elastbor
n"

Ay
andacamebackwi
thmymar
shmal
l
ows.

Ay
anda:
"hay
iInganat
hi,
usal
i
lanangoku"
Me:
"I'
m notbhabha,
let
hal
a"

Hegav ememymar shmall

ows, ngaqalisa
ngadla, theywerelookingatmel i
keIwasr eall
y
crazy.Istoodupandwentt othebathroom and
cl
osedi t.Ilockeditandwenttositont hetoilet
si
t.Aftersomet i
meAy andaknocked, Ikept
quite.

Ay
anda:
"Inganat
hi!
!"
Me:
"goaway
"
Ay
anda:
"ndi
kukhabekemna,
opent
hisdoor
"
Me:
"goawayAy
anda"

Ayanda:"I
nganathiKhumalo,don'
ttestme,I
wi
llbreakt
hisfuckendoori
fyoudon'topeni
t,
wenzaniet
oil
etnokudla?"

Iwentt
oopeni
t,Iknewhemeantwel
lwhenhe
sai
dhewasgoi
ngtobreaki
t.

Ayanda:"whatisgoi
ngonkant
iInganat
hi,
why
uzodl
elaebat
hroom?"
Me: "Icanseeni
cabangaukut
hiI
'
m cr
azy
nobabomdala"

Ayanda:
"youarenotbhabha,
youwi
l
lnev
erbe
cr
azy,Il
oveyou"
Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oobhabha"

Ayanda:"comegi
vedaddyahugandwi
pe
thoset
ears"
Me:
"zesul
enawe"

Weshar
edahug.

Me:
"Yanda.
..Mhmm
Ay
anda:
"bhabha"

Me:
"cel
aungenzel
eamaqanda"
Ay
anda:
"eggs?
"

Inodded
Ayanda:"bhabha,pl
easedon'
tcryor
ungi
that
hewr ongbutIthi
nkyouarepr
egnant
Marhadebe"
Me:
"pr
egnant"Ir
aisedmyey
ebr
ow"nha"

Ay
anda:
"yhabhabha"
Me:
"nha,
pleasengi
l
ambi
l
e"

Ay
anda:
"ok,
I'
m comi
ng"
Me:
"wi
tht
omat
osaucepl
ease"
Ay
anda:
"sur
e"

Hewentt otheKit
chenandcamebackwi th
eggsandv i
ennas.Ifi
rstat
eaviennakwathi
kanti
ngiyi
susi
le,Irushedtot
hebathroom and
puked,Iatemyeggsunt il
Iwasdone.
Me:
"thansbhabha"
Ay
anda:
"ar
eyouf
ull
?"

Inodded

Ay
anda: "honest
ly,
Ithi
nky
ouar
epr
egnant
Marhadebe"
Me:
"I'
m not
"

Ayanda:"youar ebhabha,wit
hourfir
stand
secondpregnancyitwashardtot
ellcasIdi
dn'
t
knowthesy mptomszomt uokhul
elwebutnowI
do"
Me:
"I'
m notYanda"

Ayanda:"st
opbei
ngstubbornInganat
hi,
can
youli
stent
omeonceiny ourl
if
e"
Me: "Idobhabhabutngendazi
if
bengikhul
elwe"

Ayanda:"don'
tyouseewenat her
eisalott
hat
haschangedngawe, udlaamaqandaongawadl
i
,
youarefor
evercr
ying,thewayy ouli
kemaki
ng
l
oveandwhoget stoeatapacketof
marshmall
owsatoncekant iunormal?"
Me:
"soI
'
m notnor
mal
Yanda?"

Ayanda:"heywenaI nganathi
,usul
e
ezonyembezi,
ndingekakufakii
mpama,
sul
a
ezonyembezi!
!"

Ikeptoncr
ying

Ayanda:"Yer
rInganat
hiul
il
elani
!!youknow
exact
lyt
heonlythi
ngthatmakesy oufeel
thi
s
wayi
swheny
ouar
epr
egnant
"

Me:"I
'
m notpr
egnantAy
anda!
!,ar
eyoumy
gy
neanow?"
Ayanda: "ifnot,whenlastdi
dy ouhaveyour
peri
ods, thesanitar
ytowelsIboughtmonth
endofFebr uaryngenzaIgroceryarest
il
l
ther
e, t
hel astti
meIcheckedt herear
eonlytwo
meni nthishouse, meandNdu"

Me:"youknowexact
lyIdon'
tgetmyper
iods
r
egul
arl
y"
Ayanda:"souf
unukut
hindichamaamahewu,
whenlastdi
dweuseprotecti
on?"

Iswal
l
owedhar
d,r
eal
i
tywasst
art
ingt
oki
cki
n
Me:
"mf
xmmm"
Ay
anda:
"ndi
kuf
akei
mpamakemna"

Icover
edmysel fwit
hablanketandslept.I
wokeup2hour slat
er,If
eltsonausea,Iwent
topukeinthebathr
oom.Ir i
nsedmymout hand
hands..
..
..

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
00:
15]Mca:
INSERT147

InawayIwassodi sappointedi
nmyself,how
coul dIbesocarelessImadeav owthat
sizolindaf
oratleast2y earsbef
orewet r
yagai
n.
Ay andadidn'
tobjecttotheideaofwaiti
ngbut
her eIwasactedsocar eless.
YesIwasnott hedoct orbuti twasnotmyf ir
st
ti
mengi bapregnant ,gottot hinkaboutwhat
Yandasaid,Ihav en'thadmyper iods,thel
ast
ti
meIhadmyper iodsitwasmi d-Januaryand
wewer eappr oachingendofApr i
l .Heknew
verywellwhenl astdidwebuymysani t
ary
towel.Wheni tcomet obuy inggr oceries,Iwas
cluel
ess,Iwoul dbuysweet s, bi
scuitsandchips
andthat'
sit,soYandadeci dedt omakei thi
s
responsi
bil
it
y .

Theeggs,marshmal
lows? ??.It
ookmycarkey
andandwentdownstair
s, l
uckil
yooAyanda
werenott
hereandoneofhi scarswasnot
ther
ebutezoMsir
abezikhona.Idrov
etothe
mall
,onmywayt her
emyf onerang.

Me:
"Godzi
l
la"
Ay
anda:
"ndi
kuf
akei
mpamaI
nganat
hi,
wher
e
ar
eyougoi
ng?
"

Me:
"tot
hemal
l
"
Ay
anda:
"whatdi
dIsayngohambawedwa?
"

Me:
"wher
ear
eyoukant
i?"
Ayanda:
"inParow,sihambenooNdu,Idi
dn'
t
wannawakeyouup, Ilef
tanotekwi
bedside
butwewil
lbebacksoon"

Me:
"ok"
Ay
anda:
"don'
tbel
ongemal
lbhabha"

Me:
"hay
iYanda"
Ay
anda:
"Imeani
tbhabha"
Me:
"by
eYanda"
Ay
anda:
"Thandav
ha"

Me:
"lov
eyout
oo"

Iwentt othepharmacyandboughtaHPTand
wentbackhome, Iwasshaki ng, Iwassonot
readytobepr egnantagain.If i
rsttooktheoneI
wasgi venbyNdumi e.Iwai t
edandcheckedi t,
theotherlinewasclearbutt hesecondonewas
ratherfai
nted,soIdidn'tknowwhatt omake
outofitbutIwassoconv incedt hati
twasonly
onel i
nethanky ouLord!.

Wheniwasabouttoexitthedoor,something
t
oldmetotaketheotheronejusttobesure.I
t
ookthesecondone,Iwasr eal
lypray
ingthatI
wasnotpr
egnant.Myfearswereconfir
med, I
wasr eal
lypregnant.Icloseditagain,putit
backont heboxandt hr
owi tinthedustbin,I
reall
ydon'tknowwhydi dIputitbackont he
boxbutIdi d.Iwassodi sappointedbutabove
allIwassoscar ed.Iwashedmyhandsand
wentt othestudy,Itr
iedtostartwithmy
assignmentbutbekunzi mat oconcentrat
ein
whatIwasdoi ng.Icl
osedt hedoorandsl ept
ont hecouch.

Hourslat
er,IwaswokenbyAy andabebanga
umsindo,LordAyandacanbeapaininabutt.I
rubbedmyey es,Icoul
dseet
hroughthewindow
thati
twasdar kalr
eady.

Ay
anda:
"Si
many
eKhumal
o!!
!!
,comeher
e"
Me:
"Icanheary
ou,
youdon'
thav
etoshout
"
If
oll
owedAy
andat
othebedr
oom

Ay
anda:
"wer
eyoupl
anni
ngt
odoi
t?"
Me:
"dowhat
?"

Ay
anda:
"answerme"
Me:
"ngi
phendul
eini
?"

Ay
anda:
"wer
eyoupl
anni
ngt
oabor
tmychi
l
d?"
Me:
"??
?"

Ayanda: "don'
tactdumbI
nganat
hi,
bungaf
uni
ndaziangit
hi??
"
Me:
"wazi
ini
kahl
ekahl
e"

Ay
anda:
"thaty
ouar
epr
egnant
"
Me:
"pr
egnant?
??whosai
dIam"

Ayanda:"soreal
lyyouwerepl
anningtoabor
t
mychildSimanyeandungandixhel
eli
,howdo
youexplai
nthis?
"heopenedthedustbinand
tookouttheHPT, "t
hisSi
manye!!
!!
"

Iswal
l
owedhar
d

Ayanda:"answermeSimany
e, wer
eyougoi
ng
todoit
?"hesaidthati
naver
ylowtone.
Me:
"No"

Ay
anda:
"whywenzai
ntoezi
funnypho?
"
Me:
"canwesi
tdownpl
ease"

HesatdownandIsatnextt
ohi
m
Ay
anda: "Si
ther
e(hi
slap),
behonest
Marhadebe,wer
eyougoingtodoi
t?
Me:"Yanda,
Idon'
tthi
nkwear
ereadyt
obe
pr
egnant"

Ay
anda:
"wear
ebhabha,
justdont
..
..
."
Me:
"letmef
ini
shpl
ease"

Ay
anda:
"ok"
Me: "wearesonotr eadyanddeepdowni n
yourheartyouknowi tbuteventhoughwear e
notready,webroughtal i
fealr
eady.Eveni
f
bekunzimakangakanani Iwil
lneverabor
tour
gif
tletal
oneucabangai abor
ti
on"

Ay
anda:
"butwhyungi
fi
hlel
a"
Me:"Ionlydidt
hetestaf
terndi
sukaemal
l,YES,
Iwasnotgoingtot
elly
oubhabhathatImust
behonestwithy
ou"

Ayanda:
"whyI
nganat
hi,
Iam t
hef
athert
hatI
'
m
100%sureof"
Me: "
youarebhabha,i
tsjustthatIwasandstil
l
scar
ed,Iam scar
edtorai
sey ourhopesgqibe
uphoxeke,
Ihavedonethattwicebutkuphele
kunj
ani"

Ay anda: "bhabha, wear einthi

stogether
Mar hadebe, yesev erytimemangizwat hatyou
arepr egnantIgetwayt ooexci
tedazange
ndabangut atabhabhabutIcannotf orcei
zint
o
zihambengendl elay am.RememberwhatIsai d
thedayngi cel
ai nganekuwesi seArabell
a,Isai
d
Iwi l
lwai tevenifmyf i
rstbornngi
yit
holangina
71asl ongasi yeyethu.Ihaven'
tchanged
nakancane."

Me: "t
hepr
obl
em i
sIdon'
twannaseey
ouhur
t
bhabha"
Ayanda: "
doyourememberwhatDrAbr ahams
said?,shesai
dmeleuyekel
etosparemy
feeli
ngsandcompromi
sey ourhappi
nesskuba
uzwelamna"

Inodded

Ay
anda:
"soar
ewer
eal
l
ypr
egnant
"

Ismi
l
edshy
ly

Ay
anda:
"ar
ewebhabha?
"
Me:
"itseemsasi
fwear
ebhabha,
butwewi
l
l
conf
ir
m masi
yekwadokot
ela"

Heki
ssedme,
weki
ssedf
oral
ongt
ime

Ayand:
"enkosi
Mar
hadebe,
hehadt
ear
sinhi
s
ey
es"

Ismi
ledandhehuggedmeatighthug,
icl
ear
ed
mythroatphel
aIcoul
dn'
tbr
eath

Ayanda:"t
handaibabi
eszam"het
ouchedmy
fl
attummyandkissedi
t
Me:
"wel
ovey
out
oobabah"

Wehuggedagai
n
Me:
"bhabha"
Ay
anda:
"mf
azi
wam"

Il
ookeddown

Me:
"ahhhhh.
..
..
..
.mhmmm,
don'
tl
aughpl
ease"
Ay
anda:
"Iwont
"

Me:
"lambi
l
eMt
ungwa"

Hebur
sti
nlaught
er,
mfxmm THEFOOL!

Ay
anda:
"Iknewzot
hil
ambi
l
eormakel
ovet
o
me"
Me:
"mf
xmm hl
uti
"
Ay
anda:
"whatdoy
ouf
eel
li
keeat
ing?
"
Me:
"Bananawi
thpeanutbut
ter
"

Ay
anda:
"ar
eyoucr
..
..
..
..
."

Ngamj
amel
e,hei
mmedi
atel
ykeptqui
te

Ay
anda:
"I'
m sor
ry"

Ist
oodupandwewalkedtotheki
tchen,
Ndumiewascooki
ngoobabomdal
abese
l
ounge.

Ndumi
e:"Iam al
mostdonecooki
ng"
Me:"okbabomdal
aandt
hanky
oubutIcannot
wai
t"
Iopenedthecupboar d,tookthepeanutbutt
er
andwentt othefruitst
andandt ooktwo
bananas,Ipeeledthem, putontheplat
eandt he
peanutbutter
.Iwentt ositdownandst ar
ted
eati
ng.

Msira:"sl
owdownl astbor
n,ther
eisnoone
ozakucel
a,,
,,
,
,yer
rwhatareyoueati
ng
Simanye?"

Ikeptqui
tengaqhubekawi
thwhatIwasdoi
ng

Ay
anda:
"don'
tl
ookatme"
Mawande:"whati
sit"war
hoba"y
eses
I
nganat
hiar
eyoucrazy"
Istoodupandwenttodoamaqandawi t
h
tomatosauce,t
heywereallqui
te,
butlooki
ngat
mel i
keIwascrazy,
Istar
tedcryi
ng,but
bengingay
ekangaukudl
a

Mawande:"y
ini
ngokul
astbor
n,kukudl
aoku
kukul
i
li
say
o?"
Msi
ra:
"Iwasgoi
ngt
ocr
ynami
ifbengi
dlasoo"

Ay
andabr
ushedmyback

Ayanda:"ayyyf
okofkengoku,l
eavemywife
al
one,eatwenabhabhaunti
li
zi
dlel
ezil
i
ngana
nezebear"

Yhooooandal
i
lani
nani
,mencanbemean
kodwa
Ayanda:"Ijustwanty
out
ost
opeat
ingi
nto
ezi
funnybhabha"
Msi
ra:"Ul
astbor
nubanj
emay
escor
il
euAy
la,
Ay
la??
?"

Ay
anda:
"yhaaant
wana,
wear
epr
egnant"
Msi
ra:
"hay
isur
eyouar
ear
eal
l
yst
ri
ker
"

Me:
"ngi
yezwanj
alo"Isai
dst
uff
ingmor
efood
i
nmymouth
Msi
ra:
"yekaul
i
lakal
okul
astbor
n"

Me:
"youmademecr
yvel
e"
Msi
ra:
"sorr
ykeMar
hadebe,
yit
shonobay
ini
I
wi
ll
doit"
Me:
"any
thi
ng?
"
Msi
ra:"Iam goi
ngt
oregr
ett
hist
rustme"he
whi
spered

Me:"ngi
zwil
enj
alo,
ngi
hal
elaama
mar
shmall
ows"
Msi
ra:
"ndazi
l
enj
ethatIwi
l
lregr
ett
his"

Ayanda: "hay
iInganathi
thi
sisnoton,
udl
ea
packetofmarshmal l
owsnamhlanj
eufuna
amany e?
"
Mawande:
"apacket
???
"

Ndumi
e:"ngexeshel
i
nye"
Me:
"mf
xm,
Ihat
eyoual
l
"

Mawande:
"ngat
hiy
awuncedai
ntoy
oba
ndibuyel
ekwam unt
ily
ougi
vebir
thIknow
utetemanjani
whenyouar
epregnant
"
Msi
ra:
"thatmakest
het
woofus"

Me:
"youar
enotgoi
ngany
wher
eni
zohl
alal
a"

Theywenttobuymymar shmall
owsandcame
back.OnMonday ,
wewentt oseemygy naeand
heconfir
medthatIwas11weekspr egnant .I
t
wasbackatbeingnaggedbyAy anda.My
husbandwasveryexci
ted,Iwasmy selfbutpart
ofmewasscar ed,wi
thmyhi st
oryIdidn'
ttrust
anythi
ng.

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
00:
23]Mca:
INSERT148
Foll
owi ngMondayIhadanappoi ntmentat
12:15wi thmyl ectureratCputsoIaskedf ora
permi ssiont ober el
easedear lierthatday.
Ayandawasawar eofmymeet ingsohecame
at11: 00.Wedr ov etoCput, Imetwi thmy
l
ectur erandwentt ot helibrary, t
herewasa
bookt hatIwant ed.Onmywayt hereImet
Lusindi so,hewasmyt utorf ordr awing,t
hat'
s
onesubj ectthatgav emehar dt i
me.Yeskwi
fi
rstsemest erMusowast heret ohelpbut
secondsemest erMusobebangucan' t
tholakal asomet i
mes, i
twaswhenhest arted
histhingwi t
hPhi ndil
e,soLusi ndisohelpedme
alot, af t
erImetAy andai twasnotapr oblem
Msir aandMawandewer eofgr eathelp.

Isawhi
m andwav
ed,
hecamet
ous.

Me:
"heyLusi
ndi
so"
Lusi
ndiso: "heyPr
incess"mostpeoplewho
knewMusoandZeewer eandst
il
lcalli
ngme
Pri
ncesssincebebengibi
zangoPrincessnabo
andsomeIdoubtt heyknowmyr ealname, t
hey
thi
nkPrincessismyname.

Me:
"howar
eyoudoi
ng"
Lusi
ndi
so:
"gr
eatPr
incessandy
ou"
Me:
"good"

Lusi
ndi
so:"youar
escar
ce,It
houghtt
haty
ou
arenol
ongeri
nCapeTown"
Me:
"nha,
I'
m st
il
lar
ound"

Ay
andacl
ear
edhi
sthr
oat
.

Me:
"ohh,
Lusi
ndi
sot
hisi
smyhusbandAy
anda
Khumalo,bhabhat
hisi
sLusi
ndi
soLi
wani
,my
dr
awingtutor"

Lusi
ndi
so:
"ni
cet
omeety
oubr
a"
Ayanda: "sure"hesmiled,heremembered
Lusi
ndisov er
ywell,heonceshoutedme
ngif
ownel wenguLusindisotoconf
ir
mt het
ime
besi
zohlanganangalo.Whatwaswor sewe
werenotev eninarelat
ionshi
pyeti
twasjust
aft
erhi
sacci dent.

Me: "wemustt
akeourl
eav
e,i
twasni
cet
osee
youhey"
Lusi
ndi
so:
"itwasni
cet
oseey
out
oo"

Igotthebookandwelef
t.Fol
l
owi
ngdayIwas
cal
ledbyMrMt i
'sPA
Tshego:
"Mr
sKhumal
o"
Me:
"heyTshego"
Tshego:"MrMt
iwoul
dli
ket
oseey
oui
nhi
s
off
ice"
Me:
"ok,
thanky
ou"

Iwentt
oMrMt
i'
sof
fi
ce,
Iknocked.

Mti:
"Tshego,tel
lthosepeopl
etosor
tthi
s
messbef
oretheendoft heday
"hehandedme
af
il
e

Ikeptqui
te

Mti:"ar
eyoudeaf,
Idon'
thav
ethewhol
eday
Tshegoanddi
dyougethol
dofDenzi
l
"
Ikeptqui
test
il
l,
hel
i
ftedhi
shead.

Mt
i:"ohhPr
incessi
n,i
tsy
ou,
I'
m sor
ry"
Me:
"nopr
obl
em si
r"

Mti: "pl
easetakeaseat"heshowedmea
chairibi
kwiroundt
ableekwaphaeoff
ici
ni
yakhe.Isatdown.

Mti:"ar
eyoucopi
ngwi
thy
ourDeut
sch
cl
asses"
Me:
"yessi
rIam"

Mt
i:"Mel
zPr
incessi
n"
Me:
"ok"
Mti:"good,
y ouar
eaveryambit
iousand
det
erminedyoungl
ady,Il
iket
hat"

Ismi
l
ed.

Mt i
: "thereasonwhyIcal ledy ou,Iwanty out o
gowi thmet oJohannesbur g.Iwil
lbe
faci
lit
atingawor kshopf ory oungengineerslike
you, it
saCESA-subst ainabili
tyimbizo, i
twill
startfr
om Mondaynextweekt i
llf
ri
day .Iwanna
groom y ouinthi
sfield,whoknowsmay bein
twoy earstimeyouwi ll
bet hef aci
li
tatorforthis
programme"hesmi led,hewentonexpl ai
ning,I
wassonotsur eaboutitsincebi nentokwenza
noMt ibuti
nawayIneededexposur e.
Me: "noprobl
em butIwi
l
lhav
etospeakt
omy
husbandfi
rst"
Mti:
"good,
Iwi
l
lfor
war
dyoual
lthedet
ail
s"
hesmil
ed

Ismi
l
edback

Me:"Imustt
akemyl
eav
esi
rmyl
unchi
s
al
mostov
er"

Hest oodupandwal kmeoutofhi sof f

ice.
WhenIgothomeIt oldYanda, itdidn'
tgodown
wellbutAy andar espectedmyj obkwel ocal ahe
wasnotsel fish.Wewer eleavingonSunday,
Ourflightwasat12: 30.Ay andawast akingme
toair
por t.Therewasashut t
leibiorganisiweto
pickmef r
om homebutAy andar efused,sohe
tookme.Bengat hiIwasa12y earoldgirlgoing
toabushcampf ort hefir
stti
me.
Ayanda:"bhabhaIpackedall
yourmedi cat
ion
,Ihavesortt
hem kwitabl
etsort
erozazisel
a
Mondaytil
lFr
iday,don'
tfor
gettotakethem"
Me:
"Iwon'
tbhabha"

Ayanda:"andy
ourpumpstoobhabha,
the
sy
mbi cor
dyoutaket
w..
..
"
Me:
"twopuf
fs"

Ayanda:"don'
tdr
inkcof
feeonl
yroi
boosand
nofizz
ydri
..
."
Me:
"Iknowbhabha"

Ayanda:
"Ihavecheckedtheweat
herforthe
weekanditwi
llbecl
oudyinJobur
gforthenext
2dayssoIpackedyouja,
,
,,
"
Me:
"jacket
sIknowbhabha"Ir
oll
edmymy
ey
es

Hel
ookedatmeandsmi
l
ed

Ay
anda:
"am It
hatbad?"
Me: "worsebhabha,udl
ulanoobabatheday
bengishi
yaehostelt
heywerefarbet
tert
han
you"

Ay anda: "I
'
m sor
rybhabha,Ij
ustwannabe
sur ethatmytwobabiesareok,I'
m nothappy
thatyouwi l
lbeawayforaweekbuti span
sispan.
Me:
"thansmy
eni
wam"

Ay
anda:"mynumber
,Msi
ra,
Nduand
Mawande'
sar
eonspeeddi
al.Iknowy
oumi
ght
gof ordri
nkswi t
hyourcoll
eagues,
please
InganathiIknowhowcar el
essyouare,don'
t
acceptanydr i
nksfr
om anyoneanddon' tl
eave
yourdrinkivul
iwe"
Me:
"Idon'
tdr
inkbhabha"

Ay
anda:
"Iknowev
enaj
uiceI
nganat
hi"
Me:"ifaguyoff
ersmeadrinkli
key
oudi
d
whenIfi
rstsawyouIwi
l
lacc..
..
."

Heappl
iedemergencybr
akesandpul
l
edof
fthe
r
oadakabinamsindouAyanda

Ayanda:"ndakukuny
athel
aInganat
hi,
uphambene!!"
Me:
"Iwasj
oki
ngbhabha"
Ayanda:"don'
tfuckent
ell
mey ouwerejoki
ng,
am Iwri
tt
enmadei nChi
na,thet
hikaka"
Me:"Iwasr
eall
yjoki
ngYanda,I
'm sor
ry"Isai
d
t
hatngi
zwanj
einyembezizi
seduze

Iwasr
eal
l
yjoki
ngmi
na.Isankonmyseat
.

Ayanda: "bhabha, Ididn'

tmeant oshouty ou,
butzaziintozodlal
a.I'
m seriousher
ewena
uyi
thathaasaj okey onkelento,t
her
ear eguy s
outtherewhoar er ut
hlessli
keme, umt u
akwenzeleububel ekantihehasspikedy our
dri
nk,I'
m sorryagainbhabhangaphi ndeuy enze
l
entouy enzil
e.

Inoddedhekissedmycheekanddr
oveagai
n.
Wear r
ivedeair
port
.
Ayanda: "her
e,letmeputthi
s,don'
tremoveit
I
ngaev enifyoutakeashower"heputitonmy
wri
st,itwassomet hi
ngli
keawat ch
mawuy ij
ongil
eitwasreal
l
yawat chbutitwasa
Pepperspray.

Ayanda:"youpressi
therewhenitcomest
o
shout,don'
ttakei
tof
fInganat
hi"
Me:
"okbhabha,
wher
edi
dyougett
his?
"
Ay
anda:
ndi
kuf
akei
mpamakemna"

Igi
ggl
ed

Ayanda:"i
fbendizenzel
abuzay
ohlal
akwa
Xhanti
butIrat
herubesehotelt
hanbewi t
hu
Xhanti
,Iwil
lbeli
kesendingasheepint
oawolf
"
Igi
ggl
edagai
n

Mt iwaswai ti
ngforme, wecheckedin.OK, the
tr
oublest art
edwhenIwassay i
nggodby esto
Yandawal anjeubaathi byekebhabha,hayikeI
Amazony aphokoka, t
hemor engi
zinqandathe
mor ebezizainyembezi axakananento
amadoda.Mt ihadtorunt oSpurandboughta
milkshakebecelwenguAy anda,kwangcono.I
couldn'
twai ttoseelenganebengi zoyi
belet
ha
i
zobay inganeenjanileingenzaisi
li
maso.
Yandasai dhisgoodby esbuthewassohear t
brokenumy eniwamisowasI .

Wel andedat14:30,Iswitchedonmyf oneand

cal
ledYanda, hewassodownshameumy eni
wami zangesabaapar tf
rom eachother,Ireal
l
y
missedhim.Wewentt oAv i
sandgotacar,
Melzdr ov
eust oBir
chwoodhot el,
whichwas
nott
hatf
arf
rom ORTambo,
wecheckedi
n.

Iwasdrif
ti
ngnicel
ytoThongol
andwhen
someoneknockedonmydoor .Idr
aggedmy
feetandwentt
oopent hedoor
.Icheckedf
ir
st
i
bingubanit
henopened.

Mt
i:"getr
eadywear
eleav
ing"
Me:
"towher
e?"

Mt
i:"mypl
ace,
myf
ami
l
yiswai
ti
ngf
orus"
Me:
"no,
Iwi
l
lpass"

Mt
i:"no,
youar
egoi
ng,
getr
eady,
comeon"
Me:
"I'
mti
red"
Mt i
:"Ihavepromi
sedmypar entsthaty
ouare
alsocoming,
youcandisappointmebutIdoubt
youwannadisappoi
ntmyol dfolks"
Me:
"ay
yy.
..

Mt
i:"ay
ynot
hing"

Me:
"mf
xmm Igot
tachange.
..
"
Mt
i:"Iwi
l
lchecky
ouaf
ter10mi
n"
Me:
"makei
t60mi
n"

Ifreshenedupandchangedi nt
osomet hing
decent, welef
ttoCenturi
oninWi er
dapark.We
fi
rstwenttoCenturi
onmal l
,Iboughtabunchof
fl
ower s,aboxofchocolat
eandabot t
leofwine
forMel z'
sdad,hisf
avourate,IaskedMel z.
Weexchangedgr eeti
ngandshar edhugs.Mel z
wasf rom av erywarmf amily.Wesatont he
tablechatt
ingov erdinner
.Tal ki
ngabouta
blessedfami l
y, Melzdad-Lect ureratUJ,Melz
mom -Neur ologi
st,hehadt wobr other
s, one
olderthanhim whowaswor kingfor..
..
..
..
Attorneysandhi slit
tl
ebrotherdoinghis5th
yearkwi Medi ci
ne.

Melzmom :"
Popi
tol
dmey
ouar
elear
ning
Deutsch"
Me:
"Popi
??"

Mel
zmom :
"ohhMel
i
khay
a"

ISmil
ed,
Akhontoi
hlambal
azangathisi
sisu,
whi
lewewerechat
ti
ngIfel
tli
kepuking,Melz
mothershowedmet
hebat
hroom.Ipukedand
cameback.

Mel
zmom :
"mor
ningsi
ckness"
Me:
"yesmam"

Melzmom : "Herzl
ichengl
uckwunschmi nkind
i
chv ermuletedasssieschwangersincl
,ichbin
si
cherseingehen, einmadchenzusein"
(Congratulati
onsmychi l
dIsuspect
edt hatyou
ar
epr egnant.I'
m sureit
sgoingtobeagi rl
)

Ismi
l
ed,
Mel
zlookedatmeconf
used.

Mel
z:"si
ndsei
schwanger
?"(Ar
eyoupr
egnant
)
Me:
"ja"(y
es)
Melz:"gl
uckwunscheli
ebli
ng"
(congr
atul
ati
onsdarl
ing)
Me:
"danke"(t
hanky
ou)

Mel
zdad:"si
ewi
ssenDeut
sch?"
.(Youknow
Ger
man)
Me:
"japapa"(y
esdad)

Mel
zdad:"whohabensi
eDeut
schl
ernen?
"
(Wher
edi
dy oul
ear
nGerman)
Me: "Mel
zlehr
temichwesent
li
cheaberj
etzt
i
chhabetutor
"(Meli
khay
ataughtmebasics
butnowIhaveatut
or)

Mel
zdad:
"beei
ndr
uckend"(i
mpr
essi
ve)

Wecont
inuedchat
ti
ngandl
eftat7pm,
Iwas
ti
redIt
ookashowert
henspoket
oYandaand
sl
ept.

Foll
owingdayIt
ookabaththenwentf or
breakf
ast.Westar
tedat8:
30itst
retchedunti
l
16:30,wehadlunchat13:30andteaat15:30.

Wehadsupperat18:30thenMelzaskmeto
hel
phi
m wit
hhispresent
ati
onfort
hefol
lowi
ng
day
.

Westar
tedat20:
00hewasdoingapowerpoi nt
pr
esent
ati
on,wewereinMelzsuit
einthe
l
ounge,weworkedt
il
l23h00,hayindehl
uleka.
WhenIwokeupIwasinbed,Irubbedmyey es.

Mel
z:"mor
ningPr
incessi
n"
Isatupquickl
y,thanky
ouLor dIwasst
il
lonmy
cl
othesexceptforthej
acketIwasweari
ng.

Melz:"Ir
eal
l
yfeelf
oryouhusband,howdoes
hecope?"Hesai
dthatfi
xi
nghistr
ouser
Me:
"whydi
dn'
tyouwakeme?
"

Mti:"It
riedbuty
ouwer
esosl
eepy,
Ijust
car
ri
edy outobed"
Me:
"andwher
edi
dyousl
eep?"

Mt
i:"nextt
oyou"
Me:
"ahh.
..Mhmm"Igotup

Melz:"rel
ax.
..mywholebodyissore,myneck
Ithi
nkit
sbroken,Ineedt
ogof orcheckup
befor
ethepresent
ati
on,youreal
lyki
ckedthe
hel
loutofme"
Me:
"I'
m sosor
rygenui
ne"

Mel
z:"howdoesy
ourmansur
viv
e?"
Me:
"Isl
eepont
opofhi
m"

Mt
i:"Ishoul
dtr
ythatt
oni
te"
Me:
"heee.
..Iai
n'
t.
."

Hel
aughed

Mt
i:"I
'
mjoki
ng"
Me:
"Igot
tagoandbat
h"

Mel
z:"noneed,
her
eisy
ourst
uff
"
Me:
"no,
Iwi
l
lgoandbat
hinmyr
oom"
Mel
z:"don'
tshootf
ort
ryi
ng"
Me:
"by
e"

Ipi
ckedupmyt oil
etrybag,
webumpedinto
eachother,
wel i
ft
edourheadsandbumped
i
ntoeachotheragain.

Me:
"ouch"
Mt
i:"i
tsy
ou,
youshoul
dapol
ogi
se"

Me:"no,y
ouar
etheonewhoshoul
d
apol
ogi
se"
Mt
i:"no,
I'
myourbo.
..
"

Irant
ot hebathr
oom andpuked,
mfxmm Il
eft
.
Langalesi
bil
il
aphel
analo,t
henwewalkedt
o
t
hehot
el.

Mt
i:"l
et'
sgot
oMenl
ynmal
l
"
Me:
"nha,
Idon'
tfeel
li
kegoi
ngout"

Mti:"pleasethereisnothi
ngIwil
ldotoni
te,I
wil
lbebor edandhowar eyougoi
ngtoknow
Gauteng..
.Sayy esplease?"
Me:
"ok,
oky
oudohav
etobeg"

Wewentt oMenlynwhi chwasbi tfar,wedid

nothi
ng, wewindowshopandIgott oknow
Melzbetter,hewasn'tbadaf t
erall andhegot
toknowaboutmycr avings.Hei ntroducedme
toMistersweetsapricotflavouredcandyf oam ,
bethi
hel ovesthem butitshissecr et.It
asted
oneandsi ncethenzangengehl ukananazo.
Sit
hingamagunqui nmyl anguageIdon' tknow
ngezi
nye.Weleftandwentv
iaMcDonal
dsfor
mymi l
kshake.Wearri
vedaf
ter8Mel
zwanted
tospendsomet i
mewi t
hmebutIref
used
bengi
shadil
ephela.

Wednesdayitwasbusi
nessasusual Imi
ssed
Yandathough,hewascall
ingnowandagai n
shameumy eniwam.At4:30wepackedour
thi
ngsrememberwewer ethelasttol
eave
ever
ydaycaswehadt opacklaptopsand
ever
ythi
ngMelzwasusing.

Mel
z: "wegoi
ngt
omyfri
end'
splacet
onit
e,he
i
nvi
tedme"wewerewal
ki
ngtothehotel
Me:
"I'
m notsur
e"

Myf
oner
angi
twasYanda
Me:
"it
smyhusband"
Mel
z:"don'
tbet
ool
ongwi
l
lpi
cky
ouaf
ter20
mi
n"

Me:
"Yanda"
Ay
anda:
"sweet
cheeks"
Me:
"howar
eyoudaddy?"

Ayanda:
"notsogoodbhabha,
Imi
ssmy
babi
es"
Me:
"wemi
ssy
out
oodaddy
"Ist
art
edsni
ff
ing

Ay
anda:
"hay
ikebhabha"
Me:"wemissy
ounjena"Iwasst
il
lsni
ff
ing,
I
r
eal
l
ymissedmypr
incecharmi
ng
Ayanda:"ndawuskendijikekemna,ndi
lahl
e
nal
emi l
kshakekanti
."ThatwasYanda'
sv oi
ce
notovert
hef onebutbehindme,Itur
nedYESit
wasYandai nflesh,
Iscreamedli
kenobody'
s
busi
ness.Ij
umpedi ntohim.

Ayanda:"y
oureal
lymissedme"hesai
dthat
ki
ssingme,Iwascry
ing.

Ay anda:"comeIhav echeckedinalr
eady, I
wentt obuyyourmilkshake,wewentt ohis
suite.Ical
ledMelzandcancell
ed, hewas
disappoint
edbutIwaswi thmyhusband.What
mor ecouldIaskfor? Wepl ayednaughty
gameszabant uabashadile#wi
nks#t hen
chill
ed.

Af
ter8ther
ewasaknockonthedoor,
atal
l
bl
ackguyinhi
ssui
tcamein.
Guy:
"br
aKi
l
ler,
I'
mleav
ingnow
Ayanda:"sur
entwana,t
hanxforevery
thi
ng,
I
will
takei
tfr
om her
e.Iwi
lldot
hetransfer
toni
te"

Guy:
"sur
ebra, any
timey
ouneedaf
avourt
his
si
deI
'myourdog"
Ay
anda:
"sur
e"

Theguyl
eft
,Il
ookedathi
m.

Ay
anda:
"don'
tgi
vemet
hatl
ook"
Me:
"whowast
hat?"

Ay
anda:
"theguywhowasl
ooki
ngaf
tery
ou"
Me:
??

Ay
anda:"doyouthi
nkIwasgoi ngtolety
oube
wi
tht
hatmosquit
owithoutsecuri
ty"
Me:
"mf
xmm"

Ayanda:"ndi
kukhabekeInganat
hi,af
terhe
tol
dmey ouwereinCenturi
on,Menl
ynandyou
spentani
tewiththatmosquito,
Ihadtocome
andImissedyou
babi
es.

Ichoked

Ayanda:"nhadon'
tstr
essIknowyoudidn'
tdo
anyt
hing,i
fbeli
ngi
l
enjebuyafi
kaezi
l
engisi
l
e
ngokwakheinhi
ssuit
e.
Wespentt her
emainingday s,Idon'
twannali
e
theworkshopwasfruit
fulIhavelear
ntalot.
Yandasfli
ghtwas2hour slatert
hanourssoI
hadtochangeminesowef lewbackhome
toget
her.
..
..

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
00:
24]Mca:
INSERT149

~1mont
hlat
er~

XhantiandLusanda' sweddi ngwasont he

22ndofJune, preparationsweregoingwell
nakuXhantii
twasl ikeAy anda,Ndumiewast he
bestmant henAy anda, MsiraandMawande.
MaidofhonorandBr ide'smaidswer eLusanda
'
sfri
endsandhersi bl
ings.
Myappoi ntmentwithmygy naewason
Tuesday,everyt
hingwasst i
l
lok, myl i
tt
leangel
wasgr owing.Wear ri
vedinCofimvabaont he
20th.Iwas24weeks, mostofthethingswere
donealready.Nightbefor
etheweddi ng,we
werebakinginthekitchenwithothermakot i
s.
Myf onerangitandIpickedup.

Me:
"babomdal
a"
Xhant
i:"heylastborn,
Iwaschecki
ngi
fi
phoneyakhoayikhokuAyandanha"
Me:
"ok,
il
aki
mi"
Xhant
i:"sur
e"

Fewmi
nut
esl
aterIr
ecei
vedat
extsms.
"Iwi
shImety
oubef
oremybr
otherdi
d"

Itwasav eryshor tsmsbuti twashar dtomake

senseoutofi t.Il
ookedar ound, ungenweyini
veleuXhant i,Idelet
edt hesmskwangoko.
Thatwast hesecondsecr etIhadt okeepfr
om
Ayanda,bendingumf azionjanivelebutif
bendimboni si
l
e, besizothet
haubaIwascal ling
foraweddi ngandaf uneral
.

Mybr other-in-lawt i
edt heknotfoll
owingday,
i
twasr eal
lyabeaut if
ul wedding.Xhanti'
s
fri
endswer ealsot here.Mi nanjeamamor ning
sicknessbedlalangami , Yandawoul dcomeand
checkonmenowandagai n.Hewoul dfreakout
i
faf i
kangihlafuna, whatev aengi
yidl
ayo
bekumel eibengiyenzelwenguy e.Godhewas
reall
yfrust
rati
ngmebecauset herewasnoone
obenendabanodl isami na.
Foll
owingdaywanxi t
yiswauLusandaandt hi
s
ti
memymot her-in-lawref
usedathiweigama
ngumakhul uwat hishewasgoingtodoit
hersel
f.WathiywaigamanguLomzi wangu
Kamv alet
hu.Wadl iswautsi
kit
henshecame
andjoinedus.

Makhulucal
ledmeat
hiImustshowKamv a
whattodo.Iagr
eed,
Sisi
Sel
ibekhonanay
e.

Me:
"wel
comesi
si"
Kamva:"I
'
m sonotgoi
ngtokeepupwi
tht
his
shi
t,myweave,
mynailsandmymakeup"

Godknowsbesendi
naaral
ready
Sel
i:"nono,wedon'tusethatl
anguageher
e,
di
dn'
ttheytel
lyouendli
nienkul
u"
Kamv
a:"sor
rysi
si"

Sel
i:"I
nganana,
pleasedi
shupt
het
ri
pef
or
ogogo"
Me:"oksisi
"Iopenedt
hepot,Ir
anoutsi
de
andpuked,Iwentt
othetapandr
insedmy
mouth.

Ayanda:"bhabhay
ini
mfazi
wam"hesai
dthat
ezakimi
Me: "not
hingser
iousbhabha,
justmor
ning
si
ckness"

Ay
anda:
"youneedt
orestMar
hadebe"
Me:
"chaYandai
ts8am ,
Iwi
l
lbef
ine"
Lomzi
passedusngi
sagobi
l
e.

Lomzi
:"nangokeamaqandewenuwahoy
eni
,
mnandinomakot
iwam uKamval
ethu"
Ay
anda:
"uy
akwat
het
haukun.
..
"

Ihel
dhi
sar
m

Me:
"leti
tgobhabha"
Ayanda:"noInganathi!
!whatki
ndofamot her
i
sshe, ohl
ulaabantwanabakhe,mayengafuni
wenaakafunimnamoss.Idon'tmindifet
hathe
ndi
ngamv anotndikhona"
Me:
"It
sokbhabha,
letmegoi
n"

Sel
i:"y
ouwi
l
lbef
inenana,
azodl
ulawehav
e
beent
her
e"

Ismi
l
ed

Ayanda:"ni
ngamsebenzi
kakhul
usi
si
Nomkhuseli
"
Sel
i:"Iwon'
tbhabhar
elax
,shei
singood
hands"

Ay
anda:
"It
rusty
ousi
si"

Heki
ssedmycheekandl
eft
.

Sel
i:"ni
bambanekanj
alokenana,
Ilov
ethe
wayyouare"
Me: "si
siIdon'
tmeantodi
srespecty
oubut
canImakecof f
eei
nst
eadofdishi
ngthet
ri
pe"
Sel
i:"ofcour
senana,
Kamv
adi
sht
het
ri
pef
or
oogogo"

Sheopenedt
hepotandf
rowned

Sel
i:"i
sther
eanypr
obl
em nono?"
Kamva:
"Ican'
tdeal
wit
hthi
s,i
tsdi
sgust
ing,
ohhmyGod"
Sel
i:"wher
edi
dyougr
owupKamv
a"

Kamv
a:"i
nPr
etor
ia"
Sel
i:"al
i
khousuePr
etor
ia"
Kamva:"l
ukhonasi
sibutwedon'teati
tekhay
a,
wedon'
teati
zint
oezi
ngacacanga"
Hayichaclaponce, sav
elesamasambuka
sonke.Sel
idishedsahambisaukudl
athen
ngaqali
saelasesbay
eniiti
ye.

Kamva:"Ineedt
ogoandchecki
fimakeup
yami
iser
it
e"
Sel
i:"amen,
cawei
phumi
l
e"

Itwasli
ket hatf
orthewholeday,
Iwant
edt
o
scream bengenzel
aisi
yezi
njeuKamva.

Foll
owingdayIhadt owakeup, ezi
l
ali
nii
n
winterakudl
alwakumny amawhooreey,i
twas
6:
15whenmyal arm wentoff
.Itwasbett
er
becauseamanzi besi
wabekakwalaphaendl
ini
.
Ourhousewascompl et
ed.

Me:
"bhabhawakeupsi
zogeza"
Ay
anda:
"I'
mti
redI
nganat
hisl
eep"

Me:
"wakeuphl
ebhabha,
itsget
ti
ngl
ate"
Ayanda:"hay
imaanSi
manyeumi
thi
!!,
you
heardwhatmakhul
usai
d"

Me: "Ay
andaKhumalo!
!!
,ndi
ngumfazi
kemna
kwaKhumal
onotint
ombi.Ineedt
owakeup"
Ayanda:"ndi
kuf
akei
mpamake,
awuv
a
yangxol
a"

Me: "mfxmm,nev ermi

nd,Imovedt r
yingtoget
outofthebl
ankets,hehel
dmet ightandtook
hi
sphoneanddi al
ledanumber.Heputi ton
l
oudspeaker.

Voi
ce:
"Zukul
wana"
Ay anda:"pl
easet alktothisst
ubborn
grandchi
ldofy oursbeforendimkhaba,
uSimanyeufunuv ukangokumakhulu,uy
abona
kumny amaphandl ebutfunuhamba
ngobumny amaandazi nobauqala
uloya(wit
chcraft)nha"

Makhul
ulaughed

Makhul
u:"gi
vehert
hef
one"
Ay
anda:
"youar
eonl
oudspeakermakhul
u"

Makhulu: "heywenabi
tyozana(heyyou
toot
hpick)li
kaAyanda,
ndanditheningohamba
ekuseniumithi
?"

Igi
ggled,
atlastndazendev
alo"heywena"
ka
Ayandaamthandayouqhamkakuphi
Me: "bendi
funauzonenzel
aamanzi
makhul
u
net
iye"
Makhulu:"ndizakwephulal
omicondwana
ngathi
ngamakhuni uzoyekauvukaekuseni
.
UKamv aukhonawawuhot il
ekalokuwena
ungumfaziomdalangokungokwakwaXhosa"

Igi
ggl
ed

Me:
"okmakhul
u"

Ay
andadr
oppedt
hecal
l

Me: "youaretoof
orwar
d"Isai
dthathi
tt
inghi
s
chestplay
ful
ly
Ay
anda:
"wheni
tcomest
omybabi
es,
Irat
her
becal
l
edgay
"

Me:
"ut
hini
naAy
andi
swa?"
Ay
anda:
"ndi
kukhabekemna"

Me:
"sor
rykeTaKi
l
ler"
Ayanda: "y
agezay
azi
Inganat
hi"het
ickl
edme
unti
lIcr
ied

Ay
anda:
"thatgi
veust
imet
opl
aykancane"

Wepl
ayed,
Iwasoutofbr
eat
h

Ay
anda:
"shameuzobar
it
enkosi
kazi
"
Me: "y
hoooeversi
nceImar
ri
edy
ou,
younev
er
cal
l
edmet hat"
Ay
anda:
"youar
emywi
feangi
thi
?"
Me: "whatwast
hepoi
nty
ongaf
uni
ndi
vukecas
asi
l
alanga"

Ay
anda:
"Imi
ssedmybabi
es"
Me:
"mf
xmm wenanj
e"

Wewokeupat7: 00besekukhanyaat
least,
we
bathedandwentt oendl
inienkul
u.Kamv awas
sti
llsl
eepi
ng.Iboil
edwaterandtookitto
Makhulu,Lomzi andbaba.Wemadebr eakfast
noYandaev er
yonewasawake.Wehad
breakf
ast,Kamv awenttositonthecouch.

Makhul
u:"Kamvazukul
wanauhl
ala
esi
cambeni
upunti
lcer
tai
nti
me"
Kamv
a:"whati
sthatmakhul
u"

Makhul
ushower
edhert
hegr
assmat
.

Kamv
a:"nomakhul
uI'
mfi
neher
e"

ShameXhant
iwassoembar
rassed,
hel
ooked
down.

Lomzi:
"mydaughteri
nlawwil
lnev
ersi
tint
hat
thi
ng,
thecouchi
sokKamv amychil
d"
Kamv
a:"t
hankxmama"

Iworr
yforubabashame,heisf
orev
erqui
te,
akanasaynj
einevery
thi
ng.
Lomzi :"heecacubaSimany euyaqhel
a
uzi
li
beleubausengumf aziapha, uv
uka
ngexeshaolit
handayo,thi
naf unekasi
l
inde
l
ontoy omakotiovukango9sekuphume
nenkomo.

Weallwentquit
e,hawuchaakangizwange
l
amhamha.Ay andawastappi
ngthefloor
.
Mfxmm zi
phiezonkomokungekhonkomonje,
I
l
ookeddown.

Me:"ngi
yaxol
i
samha,
thatwi
l
lnev
erhappen
agai
n"
Lomzi :
"Isawy ouufi
kathaty
ouarenota
wifel
ymateri
alezazi
yal
ozethuzangenangapha
zaphumangale"

Makhul
u:shewasv
erycal
m andpol
i
te"
NoxhantiLomzi,Iwill
notl etyouuhlule
abantwanabam, l
euyithethayoy ouknowuqala
nj
euchuku.Youknowexact lythatSimanyei
s
Pregnantforuvukaekuseni it
soutezakweqa
i
mi moyaemdaka.Asear lyas6shewasawake
uj
ikwendi m asfarasI'
m concer nkukwam apha
Ihavethef ul
lri
teyokwenz anant onina"

Lomzi:"hesheenibenil
il
isel
angomithakuka
Simany
eni maziakahlal
wazisu,si
yaphuma
nesi
yaninebhongolasonizat
hindandit
shi
lo"

Ndangat hindishaywengehammerenhl oko

yedlul
ay azongishayalaesfubeni.Itr
iedto
standupbutIf el
tsolightheaded, Ayanda
stoodupandhel dme, mychestwasst art
ingto
bet i
ght.Iheldmychest, Ayandacarriedmet o
ourhouse.Heboughtmypi lls,
Itookthem and
hemademel ieont opofhim.Hedi dn'tutt
era
wordonl ythestr
eam oftearsbezi
sehl
aonhis
cheeks.Icouldn'
ttel
lwhetherhewashurt,
angryorwhat ?Thepai nIwasfeel
ingwas
unexplainabl
e.Iwashurttothecoreofmy
heart.Iwantedtoscream outl
oudbutdooo
i
zinyembezi .

Fort hef i
rstti
mei nmyl ifeIsawAy andacryi
ng
angabi namsindokushi wosomet hi
ngi bi
m
pisserof f.Welaidtherequietly
,oobabomdala
camei n.Iwasdr ift
ingnicel
ytoThongol and.
Ndabagqi belabethetha,whenIwokeup
Ay andawasst il
lthereoobabomdalabengekho.
Ihadashar ppaininmyabdomen.Ist oodup
butt hepai nwasunbear able.

Iwi
ncedoncei
npai
n,Ay
andaqui
ckl
yst
oodup.

Ay
anda:
"Inganat
hi!
!Bhabha,
whati
sit?"
Me:
"pai
ns"

Ishownhi
m, hetookmybagandhi
skeysand
carr
iedmetothecar
.Ndumi
soandMsir
asaw
us.

Msi
ra:
"yi
niAy
anda?
"
Ayanda:"comeMsira,wil
lexplai
nlat
er"
Ndumisoalsocame,Ayandamademel i
ekwi
backseat
,ever
yonebesekesegcekeni
got
worri
ed

Lomzi:"whatdi dItel
lyou, nantsokeIcream
yenusesesi
ngaphi esi,ndandikendayit
sho
i
ndabay esi
sisbel
ekosal omsuthukazisil
oose"

Msi
raspeededof
ftoQueenst
own
Yhanhel
i
featt
imes

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
00:
26]Mca:
INSERT150

Msi
raspeedof
f,werushedorletmeputi
tthi
s
wayAyandamadehimfl
ytoQueenst
own,
i
pai
nszonabezi
ngandi
yekanga.

Me:"Yandait
'st
oosoonbhabha,Ican'
tbe
gi
vi
ngbir
thnow,I'
m onl
y5monthsYanda"
Ay
anda: "it
sgonnabeokbhabha,
I'
m her
e
Marhadebe"

Real
i
tyhitmet hatIwasnotgi
vi
ngbirt
hbutI
wasmiscarr
ing.Iscreamedmylungsout
.
Me: "Yandaitcan'
tbehappeni
ngnotagai
n,
notagainYanda"
Ayanda:"shhhhh,
itsokMarhadebe"Icoul
d
feel
him sni
ff
ingasmuchashedi dn'
twanna
showheknewexact l
ythatIwasmiscarr
ing"

Me: "IwannadieYanda,Iwannadi
enow,
whatisthereasonf
orubangiphi
l
etel
lme,
I
wannadieYanda"

Hehel dmeverytight,It
ri
edtosatupandheld
hi
ml i
kehewasleav i
ngmef orgood,hewasmy
pil
lar,mystr
ength,mywor l
d, mypri
nce
charmingaboveallIknewIwaspr ot
ected
aroundhim.

Wegoti
ntohospi
tal
,Iwast
akeni
n,t
hedoct
or
whowasondut yet r
aumasentmetothegynae
thatwasav
ail
able.Sheexaminedmeandthe
babywasfi
nethanky ouLor
d.

Ayandaexhal edasifbephumaumoy a
wokugci na.Shet ol
dmet hatthebabywasj ust
upsetandt oldmet hatImustst ayawayf r
om
stresssincet hechil
dcaneasi lypickedt
hat.I
reall
ydidn'tknowt hathonestly.Wedr ov
eback
home, at l
eastwewer etalki
ngunlikewhilewe
wer est
illgoingtoQueenst own.

Wegothome, Ireal
l
ydidn'tfeel
liketal
ki
ngsoI
wentstr
aighttobedamahl oniwol al
aemini
ebephel
eny aaabebengasebangi buyi
sel
e
ekhayabefunaandasf orLomzi bengaske
azi
lengi
se.

Makhul
ucamet
ocheckonme,
themomentI
sawheritj
ustbroughtbackallt
hepain,Ibr
oke
downandcrieduncontrol
l
able.Shetookme
i
ntoherchest.

Makhul u: "xol
ozukulwana,kuzol
unga
Mar hadebe, Ayandabri
ngmesweetwat er
"he
broughtit.I'
m sureshethoughtIwasatoddler,
shekeptonandi mbambazelaunti
lIfel
tbett
er.

Ay
anda:
"Iwi
l
ltakei
tfr
om her
emakhul
u"
Makhul
u:"ar
eyousur
ecasIdon'
tmi
nd"
Ay
anda:
"I'
m sur
emakhul
u"

Shel
eft

Ayanda:
"bhabhadon'
tl
etwhatmamzosai
d
geti
ntoyou"
Me: "howcanInotAy anda, y
oudon'thaveany
i
deahowI ,
,,f
eelsometimesIdoubtmy sel
fIdo
bhabha,whatki
ndofamot herIam whokeeps
onlosi
ngherkidsI'
m scaredYanda"
Ayanda:"I
'm scar
edmy
sel
fbhabhabutwear
e
havi
ngthi
schild"

Me:
"whati
fImi
scar
ryag.
..
."
Ayanda:"st
opitbhabha!
!,
stopi
t!!
,wear
e
havi
ngthi
schil
d,doyouhearme"

Me: "whati
swrongwit
hmebhabha,whycan'
t
Icar
ryyourchi
l
drenf
ull
time,
why?,
am Ir
eall
y
afemale?
Ayanda: y
ouar emyangel ,
don'teverdoubt
yoursel
fcasIdon't
.Iknowt hewoman
endamshada, sheisabeaut i
ful,consi
derat
e,
hasahear tofanangelaboveallsheisstr
ong,
powerfulandshewi l
ldoanythi
ngt omakesure
sheseparatesf ourmenbesilwa.DamnIknow
whoImar ried,astrongwoman, whowil
lcr
y
whenshei shungr y,whowi l
leatapacketof
marshmal l
ows, thewomanwhomakesTaKi l
ler
weak,theonl yperson,whocansaykum "
ndi
kufakimpamakemna, whowoul dsaysi
t
youassher eAy andaKhumal o!
!!"heimi
tat
ed
myv oi
ce

Ismi
l
edandki
ssedhi
m.

Ay
anda:
"Il
ovey
oumf
azi
wam "
Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oomy
eni
wam"
Ay
anda:
"phuml
akebhabha"
.

Isl
ept.IwaswokenbyKamv aat
hiIwas
neededbytheel
ders.Iwentt
ori
nsemymout
h
ndayakubo.Ever
yonewasther
e, Mawande
wassit
tingnextt
oAy anda,
hestoodupwhen
hesawme.

Mawande:
comeandsi
ther
elast
bor
n"
Me:"chababomdal
a,I
'
mfi
neIwi
l
ltakeachai
r
i
nthedi
nni
ngr oom"

Makhulu:
"goSi
many
eandsi
tnextt
oyour
husband"

Wewer
eal
lsi
tt
ed.

Ayanda:
"makhulu,IknowIdon'
thavet
her
ight
tocal
lameet
ingbutIfel
tli
ket
herei
saneed
fori
t"
Makhul
u:"speakmygr
andchi
l
d,r
emember
y
ouar
enol
ongeraboynowbutaman"
Ayanda: "t hanky oumakhul u, fir
stofall
Simanyei smywi f
e, shewi l
lalway sbemywife
whethery oual lli
keitornotandIwoul dl
oveher
tobetreat edwi threspect,emi niIkeptqui
tef
or
thesakeofmywi fe,Iknowakay if
unikanj
ani
i
ntoethet hisayo,otherwisewenamamzo
ubuchophobakhongebuchol we
ngamant shont shophaphandl e.USi manye
andi
ml obol el
wangandi zi
lobolele,akhobit
ch(I
pokedhim)i zathethanay engat hiyehl
aeli
weni"

UInganat
hiukunyamezelemamzoandt hat
's
enoughngoku, y
outouchmywi feut
hint
amna
andthi
sisthelastwarni
ng,youkeepfucki
ng
wit
hmey ouwillregr
etthedayyougavebir
thto
me."

Secondl
ymakhul
u,Iwant
edt
otel
lthef
ami
l
y
l
ongt i
meagobutI nganathi beggedmenott o.
Shewast ry
ingtoprotectlanjakazii
nguZimasa
andt okeeppeace.Mamzoi fther
eisanyonet o
bebl amedher eungowokuqal ayoukeepsay i
ng
Ingahasal oosewomb, wel li
fitwasn'
tforyour
belovethdaughterinl
awt haty oual
way s
fantasizengayoourfi
rstbor nwoul dbealiv
e, i
f
Zimasaangazangeakhi pheisisusikaInga
ngesinayeumt ana"

Lomzi:"menemenendi ni
lomt
ana, Zi
masadi
d
nothi
nguzofeed-auAy andangobuxoki,
nawe
youbeli
eveher,yhooomandoyiswebantu
baseMacir
heniandizal
angamoss.

Xhanti:
"that'
str
ueLomzi "hetol
dthem
ever
ythi
ng, Imeanev er
ythingmakhulunobaba
keptonbekhuza, beset
hulenjeuLomzi.
Ayanda:"I'
m notdoneyet
,oursecondbaby
againI
ngalosti
tbecauseofaKhumal o,
becauseofme, hetol
dthem whathappened
thati
twashisenermy,hedidn'
tgointodetai
l
s.

Makhulu:"Inganat
hiy
ini
mtanam uthwala
ubunzi
maobungakauwedwasi khona"she
wipedhertears.

Ayanda: "I'
m notdonemakhul u,Lastlyasfor
youLomzi ,
thispersony ouhatesomuchi sthe
onlyper
sonwhocar esaboutourr elat
ionshi
p,
whomakesi tapoi ntt
hatIdot al
kt oyou
otherwi
sey ouar enothingtomej ustabi t
ter
bit
ch,myr espectandl oveyoulostittheday
youletMcebi sibeatmendangakwazi kuchama.
Thispersony ouhat ethemost, i
st heonly
personattheageof18whomademeahuman
notanani mal.Whowental loutt
omakesur eI
dowhati sr i
ght, whomademear ealman,
wenaasmymot hery ouf ail
edt odot hat, to
giv emel ove, careandr espect .Ingadi dy our
j
obandshedi ditv erywel lbecausei fshedi dn't
Iswearngekucul waamaguguphezukwakho
aswespeak.Shemi ghtbeat rasht oy oubut
trustmet omeshei sapr eci ousgi f
t,doy ousee
thathouseov ert herei tsall becauseofher, I
'
m
proudt ocal lmy selfamanal l becauseofheri fI
didn' tmeethermay beIwoul dbedeadbynow.
I'
m notsay i
ngt haty oumustl ov ehershe
def init
elydoesnotneedy ourl ov e,shei sfrom a
war mf ami l
yut handouy al
azi akahambeel ifuna
from mot herswhof ailedt ogi v ei ttot heirown
kids, buty ouwi lltr
eatherwi thr espect .Not
ev enasi ngl edayuI nganat hi wakewaqal a
umt ubutwenaumi leuy ampi cka, youwi l
lmake
yourownpr i
mast oveandst oppr ickingmywi fe
'ass, youdar enj euphi ndeIwi l
l shitony our
face, Ihav eenoughofy ou, si venemoss. .
"
Lomzi
:"Ay
andal
e..
..
"
Ayanda:"bendingaf
unempenduloyakho, Ij
ust
wantedtosaythat,that
'sal
lsodon'
tbother
your
self
.Comebhabhal et'
sgoandsleep"

Ev
ery
onewasqui
te,
Ist
oodup.

Me:
"ni
l
alekahl
e"
Them :
"goodni
te"wel
eft

Wegoti nbedIbur
iedmysel
finYanda'schest,
Iwasdesper at
elyi
nneedofhiswarmth.Wef el
l
asleepimmediatel
y.IwaswokenbyAy andain
themi ddleoft
henight
.

Ay
anda:
"bhabhay
ini
"
Iwasshaki
ng

Ayanda:"i
tsok,
itsj
ustanight
mar
e"Iwas
sweati
ng,It
ookoffmypjsandwor
ecl
eanone

Ay
anda:"whatwereyoudr
eami
ngaboutt
hat
madeyoucr
ythatmuch?"

FunnypartIdi
dn'tremembernentwana
yephupho.Ishruggedmyshoulders.Weslept
again,hayi
bosamedr eam butt
histime
ali
phel
angaaphobel i
phel
ekhonaatf i
rst.
..
..
..

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
00:
35]Mca:
INSERT151
Foll
owingdaywewer ewokenbysomeonewho
wasknocking,IshookAy andaandhewentto
openthedoor.Istr
etchedmyhandandcheck
theti
me,Ijumpedof fthebed,itwasaf
ter9.
Webot hoverslept
.

SinceXhant ii
stheel destsonmakushona
ubabaaut omat i
call
yXhant iwill
t akeov erev en
thoughmostoft het hingswer edonebyAy anda
butumuzi bungokaXhant iandAy andadi dn't
haveapr oblem wi t
ht hat.Sowedeci dedt o
buil
dourownhouseanddemol ishedAy anda's
fl
at.Itwasa4bedr oom housei twasf ew
met ersfrom wher eAy anda'sf l
atwas, soitwas
compl eteal r
eadysowhenIsayourhouseI
meant hat.Ndumi ewasbui l
dinghi skwase
yardinitheywer est i
l
l busywi thit.Iwonder ed
whatwasi twit
ht heKhumal o'sabangaf uni
kuphumakowabobutt heyhadanexcuset hat
mostoft het i
met heyar einCapeTownsoi t
wi
l
lbeeasyf
orbabaandmakhul
uubababheke.

Soayandawenttoopenthedoort
he
embarr
assmentIhad,i
twasmakhulu.Ihear
d
herv
oicefr
om t
helounge.Iwentt
oboil
water
.

Makhul
u:"Si
many
ecomeher
e!!
l

Iputonmygownandwentt
othel
ounge.

Me: "sawubonamakhul
u"Isaidthati
nav er
y
l
owt one,Iwassoembarrassedevent
olookat
her
.
Makhulu:"ngakabanilamaqandaowabi
leyo
njobauskewandikhophozel
anjeandandizanga
zocelat
handolwakho"
Ismi
l
edshy
ly

Makhul
u:"comesi
ther
e,Ay
andagoandmake
t
eaforus"
Ayanda:"hayi
makhul uandi
ngomf
azi
kwakhumalondiy
indoda"

Makhul
u:"Ay
anda!
!!
"

Hewentt
otheki
tchenandcamebackwi
tht
he
t
ea.

Makhulu:"I'
m her
et ocheckuponyou, y
ou
r
eall
ygotmewor r
iedyester
day,
Icouldn'
tsl
eep
l
astnit
ethinki
ngabouty ou,
howareyoutoday"
Me: "wearefinemakhulu,bet
tert
han
yest
erday"Isaidt
hatfaki
ngasmi l
e,Ir
eal
l
y
want
edt
osmi
l
ebutbekunzi
ma.

Makhul
u: "y
oudon'thavetopr
etendasi
fall
is
wel
lSimanye,i
fyoufeell
ikecr
yingdoso,we
ar
ehereforyousanalwam"
Me: "t
hankyoumakhul u,i
thur
tskonabutit
wi
llpassandI'
m sorr
ykungonasi
vukasi
selweI
di
dn'tmeantodisr
especty
ou"
Makhulu:"Si manyeyouar enotasuperwoman
butahumanbei ngzukulwanaandr emember
youarepregnant, i
tsnormal tobeti
red,as
l
ongasy ouknowy ouhav emyf ul
lsupportand
notat
akaAy andaiswayt oohappywi t
hyou,we
all
are,i
ncludingneli
hlanyalakho,Icansee
howmuchy oumeant ohim"

Ismil
edshy
ly,
asf
orubabaIknewhowmuch
helov
edmeevent
houghbengakhul
umi
that
much.
Makhulu:"letmel eavey ou,Ihavecooked
i
sigwampa(i sij
abane)t urni
pmi xedwith
meali
emeal f
oryou, Iknowhowpr egnant
womenl ov
ei t"

Shehandedmeabowl f
ullofi
t, whoooot he
wayi twasibingaapper t
isetu, It
houghtIwas
goingt ovomit, It
ri
edasmal l
por t
ion,
bengingafunikudumazaumakhul u,God
i
tt astedsogood, Iduginmyf ooditreal
l
y
tastedsogr eat.Eshokubangay i
dlangayiqeda.

Webat hednoAy andaandwenttoendlini

enkulu.Igreetedevery
one,br
eakfast
besebedlil
ewonkeumt ubesi
bekeleeyethubut
youknowAy andahewantedtodoi thi
mself,
minaIwant edmakhulu'smeal,t
her ewasstil
l
sortofubut ensebetweenmeandLomzi butI
t
ri
edmyl
evel
bestumzi
ba.

Iwentt
omakhul
uandwhi
sper
edi
nherear

Me: "makhul
ucanIhav
emor
eofwhaty
ou
gav
emeear li
er"
Makhul
u:shesmil
ed"helpyour
sel
fzukul
wana,
Ir
eserv
edsomeforyouIknewyouwil
ll
oveit"

Iat
eandcont
inuedwit
hhousechores,Lomzi
cal
l
edKamvawhi l
eIwasbusywit
hdinner.

Lomzi
:"kamv
acomeher
emychi
l
d"
Kamv
a:"mama"

Lomzi:"phekaihewumydaught
eri
nlaw
sendi
l
ithambisi
l
e"
Kamva:"nomamahay ikabibutmymanicure
i
zomoshekabythewayI '
m notafarm gi
rlI
don'
tdothoset
hings"shethenlef
t

Lomzi:"hebant
ubasemaci
rheni
ndaze
ndav
elel
wa"

Ayandabur stinlaughter,
Iwantedt olaugh
nam butIkeptcool .Icoul
dseeshewant edto
askmeorl etmesayTELLMEngi yoli
phekabut
shewoul dn'tdareknowingthatuAy andaheard
ever
ythi
ng.Shewentt ocookitngokwakhe,
honestl
yIr eall
yfeltf
orher,shewasourmot her
aft
erallubaangaphekaamahewusi khona
si
ngomakot ibutbengimkhiphaukusaoku.

Ayanda:"ifkamv
abendi
mthanda,
Iwoul
dki
ss
herassr
itenow,sheser
vedmamzover
ywel
l"
Me:"hay
imaanYanda,
Ineedt
oteachKamv
a
howtomakei
t"

Ay
anda:
"youar
en'
tdoi
ngt
hat
"
Me:"hay
iYandanamii
tsnott
hatngi
fi
kengazi
Iwast
aught
,it
snotabi
gdeal"
Ay
anda:
"goodl
uckwi
tht
hat"
Me:
"mf
xmm"
Ay
anda:
"ndi
kukhabeke"

Weweredonecookingandwedi shedf
orever
y
oneandwashedthedishes.Af
terweweredone
Ical
l
edKamv abebehl
ezibonkeinthel
ounge.

Me:
"si
sicanIhav
eawor
dwi
thy
ou"

Shest
oodupandwewentt
otheki
tchen.
Me:"Ifi
tsf
inewithyou,
Icanshowy ouhowt
o
makeamahewu, namiIwastaughtby
umakhul
ungif
ikengi
ngakwazi"
Kamv a:"areyoucr
azyInganat
hiI
'
m notdoi
ng
that
,Idon'tev
endri
nkthatwhymustIstr
ess
aboutthat"
Me:
"ubabay
awat
handaKamv
a"

Kamva: "hei
snotmyfathernotaf
terwhat
Xhant
itoldmeabouthi
m"
Me: "Idoubtmel
esi
zi
ngeneKamva,heisour
f
atheryeshemademist
akesbutI
'
m surehe
r
egretsnow"
Kamva:"thanksbutnot
hansI
'
mfi
nengoku
ndi
ngakwaziwenza"
Me: "noprobl
em ,
Ijustt
houghtmay
bey
afuna
ukwaziuwenza"
Wewentbackt
oot
her
s

Ay
anda:
hewhi
sper
ed"and?
"
Me:
"shei
snoti
nter
est
ed"
Ay
anda:
"It
oldy
ou"

Lat ewewentt obed, hayi

bosamedr eam ,
kant i
yinivel
ebutany wayImanagedt osl eep.I
wokeupf oll
owingdaymywhol ebodywassor e
, Iwassonotmy sel
f.Wemadebr eakfast
my self,Ay
andaandNdumi etheother sjoined
theyendupmaki ngbreakfastIwasj ustsi t
ti
ng
there, t
heywer emakinghellofanoi sebutmy
mi ndwasmi l
esaway .Weser vedbreakf ast
afterwewer edoneeat ingIcol
lect
edt hedi rty
dishesandwashedt hem.Iwasal lquite.I
askedaper missi
onfrom makhulut ogoandl ie
downforf
ewhours.Bef
oreIcouldgoshe
cal
ledmeandAyandawewentt oherbedr
oom.

Makhulu:thereasonwhyIcalledyou
bazukul
wana, i
tsaboutInganathi
,zukulwana
whatiswrongy ouarenotyoursel
flatel
y,Ican
seeyouaretryi
ngbutsomet hi
ngisbot her
ing
you,isi
tbecauseofwhatNoxhant iLomzisaid
toyoutheotherday?"
Me:
"nomakhul
u"

Makhul
u:"whati
sitt
hen?"
Me:"not
hingmakhul
u,I
'
mjustt
ir
ed,
I'
m sur
e
i
tst
hepregnancy"

Makhul
u:"Si
many
e,t
alkt
omey
ouknowi
ts
nott
hat"
Ay
anda:
"shei
shav
ingni
ght
mar
esmakhul
u"
Makhul
u:"si
ncewhen?"
Ayanda:"si
ncet
hedaywer
ushedheri
nto
hospi
tal
"

Makhul
u:"ngamaphuphoanj
ani
lawo"
Me: "Idon'
tknowmakhul
u,butanezi
njakuwo
okoko"

Makhulu:"Dogs?"shel
ookshockedand
scr
atchherhead

Me:
"yesmakhul
u"
Makhul
u:"andwhatdot
heydo?"

Me: "i
tst
hesamedream makhulu,i
tsli
kesi
la
ekhayanoAyanda,
allofasuddenkuvel
aizi
nja
ezininziandzi funauAy andasoher unsaway
thenzi y
aml andel atheyseem v eryangry,
ziyamgingqazi mdabuleleizingubozakhe.I
scream f orhel pbutakhomt uosi zayothen
kuv el
athi sbigonei tsreal
lyhugei zekimi
i
zongi dlabutf unnymay if
ikakimi ingi
betha
ngomsi laasi fiyangij
abulelathen
besekuqhamukat hi
soldladyl i
ngimemeza
ngegamal ami "

Makhul
u:"ubukekaenj
ani
"
Me: "t
hepict
ur eofheri
snotclearmakhul
uit
s
l
ikesheiswalkingi
nthemistbutyoucansee
i
tsanoldlady
, ever
yti
meshekeepsonsay i
ng
I
'mtheonewhocansav eAyanda"

Makhul
usi
ghed,
shewasv
erywor
ri
edsowasI
.
Me: "whenIaskherhow,i
nwhat, shekeeps
say
ingTHEWORSTI SYETTOCOME, butI
mustnotfearbutbest
rongtheKhumal osar
e
al
lbymysi de"

Shekeptonscr atchingherheadasi f
becabangadeep, whatgotmewor r
iedwasthe
factthatmakhulucoul dn'
ttel
lusbeli
thet
ha
uthi
ni i
phupho,
all Icouldseeshewaswor ri
ed
herself
.Wechat t
edabi tandl
eft.

Latewewentt
obedIwassot i
red,
myf eet
weresosor
eandswol
len,Yandaoffer
ed
ungit
hobat
henwesl
ept.

Ayanda:"bhabhaungayekiundi
thanda
Marhadebe"Itur
nedtofacehim ashewas
cuddl
ingmef r
om theback
Me:
"whyukhul
umaso?
"

Ay
anda:
"it
ssomet
hinget
het
hwenguXhant
i"
Me:
"whatdi
dhesay?
"

Heexhal
ed

Ayanda: "Idon'tknowhowt oputi tbhabhabut

Ifi
ndi tverystrangeandhar dtounderstand,
daybef orehisweddi nghesaid,hei smarryi
ng
Lusandabuthi shear tisnotwithher.Iasked
hi
m whyi shemar ry
ingherifLusandaisnotthe
one, hisanswerwas, i
fhedoesn'tgetmar ri
ed
heisgoi ngtobeahomewr ecker,,
,uzodla
abafazibabant u"
Me:
"hay
iboi
sheokubabomdal
a"
Ayanda:"heisbhabahabutuXhant
iisa
womanizerandwhathesaidhemeantit"
Me:
"yhooi
sLusandaawar
eoft
hat?"

Ayanda:"IdoubtbhabhabutItol
dhimifhe
darescomeclosertoyouyawucul
athefi
rstt
wo
l
ineszeli
cul
oli
thiYesuwenauli
nqina"

Me: "ar
ggghhhmaanYandaayikhoint
oenj
alo,
l
it
hiYesuwenaungumhlobo,mawungazi
necul
olasesont
weni
lakhomeleubenamahl
oni
"

Ayanda:
"lont
oiyi
yobuthedares
ndawumphambani
sanesihogo(hel
l
)"
Me: "Idoubthewill
dot hatbhabha"inawayI
f
eltguil
tyfornott
ell
ingYandat het
rut
habout
t
hesmsIr ecei
vedfr
om Xhant i
butIhadno
choi
cebutt
obur
yiti
nmychest
"

Wesl eptfol
l
owi ngdaywewer eleav
ing,we
saidgoodby esandl eft
.Sinceitwaswinterwe
l
eftafter9am ooXhant iweregoingbackt o
Pretori
aandust oCapet own.Imadeitapoi nt
thatItookumhl abaasmuchasIcan, Ay anda
wasnotawar ethatbengiwudla.Wearri
vedin
CapeTownaf ter8late,Itookashowerand
wentt obedimmedi atel
y. .
..

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
00:
39]Mca:
INSERT152

Wewer esti
l
l f
inenoYandabutIwon'tli
e
schoolandbeenpregnantwasreal
lygett
ing
i
ntomebutl uckyenoughGodblessedmengo
Ayandawhowasal waysthere,
hewoul dtype
myassi gnment szaseCputandour
assignmentsforUni sa,attendingmycl asses
andwor kingwasanot herstorythough.Noone
toldmet hatwhenpr egnantalotischangi ngi
n
yourbody, mybel lywasbi g,sower emyboobs
onet hi
ngbendi yi
qaphi l
ewasst r
etchmar ks
l
uckenoughdi dn'thavethem.Iwashugeand
frust
ratedbutallthatmat teredwast helif
ethat
wasgr owinginsideme.

Isi
subesi ngenzamuncudaybyday, Iwas29
weeksandi nthethirdtri
mester,Godwasst i
l
l
byoursi demyGy naewashappywi th
every
thing, si
nceIwasahi ghriskbecauseof
mypr eviousmi scarri
ages,Iwasseeinghim
oft
en.Wedeci dedt hatt
histi
mei gender
yenganei beyisurprisewhichmadei t
kwanzimaul i
nda.Iwashopi ngforaboyand
Yandaforagi r
l.Eventhoughthedoct or
assuredust hatthebabywasf i
nebutIwould
worrysometi
mesandwit
hthedream Ihad"t
he
worstisy
ettocome"Iwashopingt
hat
uJehovazongi
vi
kel
anomndeniwami.

Iwasst i
lltakingmymul t
ivi
taminsandmyot her
meds.Mi lkshake,marshmallowsandt he
apri
cotcandyf oamswerest i
llmybestbuddi es.
Idecidedtot akemyleaveint hebeginningof
myl astmont hsinceIwantedt ospendmor e
ti
mewi t
hmybabymasekhona.Wewer ef
rom
shoppingnoYandaIwast i
redashell Idecided
tofoneTot i.

Me:
"bhabha,
youknowIl
ovey
ouangi
thi
"
Ay
anda:
"whatdoy
ouwantI
nga?
"

Me:
"hhabe,
whosai
dIwantsomet
hing?
"
Ay
anda:
"whatdoy
ouwantI
nga?"
Me: "honestl
yYandanothi
ng,
Ijustwantedt
o
t
ell
yout hatIl
oveyouthat'
sal
l
,I'
m hurtt
hough"
Ayanda: "xol
okeMar hadebe,kal
okueveryt
ime
yousayy oulovemeIknowuf unasomething,
xolokev ha"hekissedmycheek, hetookmy
feetandplacedont opofhislapandmassage
them ,IkeptonlookingathimthenIwil
llook
awaywhenhel ooksatme.

Ay
anda:
"speakI
nganat
hi,
whatdoy
ouwant"
Me:
"canIusey
ourf
one,
Iwannacal
lTot
i"
Ayanda:"Iknewi
t,whathappenedt
oyour
fone?"

Me:"youdi
dn'tr
enewmycont
ractbhabha
bi
phel
elwal
astweek"
Ayanda:"I
nganathi
,howcanyoubeso
carel
essdi
dn'
ttheycall
youorsenty
ouansms
ear
li
er.
Me:"t
heywant
edmetoupgr
adeYandaof
whi
chIdi
dn'
twantt
o"

Ayanda:"yesssesssInganathiy
oucanbeso
chi
ldi
shkodwa, didIsayIhav eapr
obl
em i
n
payi
ngforyourcontractphone?"
Me:
"nobhabha,
Ijustt
houghtt
ha.
..
."
Ay
anda: "t
houghtwhatI
nganat
hi.
..I
tsf
inewe
wi
llsor
titt
omorrow"

YhoooAy andavel
eangi
thet
hisengathi
ngi
yingane.It
ookhisf
oneandcalledToti
.

Tot
i:"Ay
andasawubona"
Me:
"I'
m notAy
anda"
Toti
:"sawubonaAngel,It
houghti
tsAyanda
phel
aheistheonewhophonesusof t
enwena
youhavefor
gott
enaboutus"
Me:
"ahhTot
ingi
khat
hel
emi
na"

Toti:
"wenayoufor
evert
ir
ed,arey
out
ir
edt
o
evenphoney
ourpoorpar
ents"
Me: "usunohhabakemanj
e"(y
ouar
e
exaggerat
ing)

Tot
i:"am I
?"
Me:
"ahhTot
i"

Tot
i:"howi
smygr
andchi
l
d?"
Me: "ahhToti
, howabouty
ouf
ir
staskhow
yourdaught
eris"
Tot
i:"ngizosi
thi
ninj
eisal
ukazi
esi
nguwe
esi
ngenandabanami ?"
Me: "youarenotmymotherkanti,
khulumake
wit
hy ourgr
andchil
dandseeifuzophendul
a
na"

Tot
i:"I
'
mjoki
ngphel
a"

Isul
ked

Toti:
"ngi
yadl
alakalokuAngel
,wher
eis
Ayandakengi
khulumenaye"
Ay
anda:
"I'
m her
eTot
i"

Tot
i:"howar
eyoumyAngel
?"
Ay
anda:
"I'
mfi
neTot
iandy
ou?"
Toti:"good,If
eelf
ory
ou,si
kut
hwal
isenje
ubunzimanganeyami,
uAngeli
sget
tingworse
ngeconsi"
Ayanda:
hel
aughed"akhoni
xTot
i,wher
eis
dad?"

Tot
i:"honeywozanazi
ngane"

Ihear
dfootst
eps

Dad:
"Ndodana"

Ayanda:
"sawubonababa,
howar
eyoui
nthat
si
de"
Dad:
"wear
efi
nendodana,
niy
akhul
alapho?"

Ay
anda:
yebobaba,
sey
ingumunt
unj
eophel
ele
andusey
akhahl
elangamandl
a"
Dad:
"si
yabongandodana"

Tot
i:"andt
hegenderoft
hebaby?"
Ay
anda:
"wewanti
ttobeasur
pri
seTot
i"

Tot
i:"Isayi
zobay
int
ombazanal
eyo"
Ayanda:"t
hat'
swhatIhavebeentel
l
ing
ubhabhaTot
ithatshei
scarr
yingagi
rl"

Dad:
"noIsayi
tsaboy"
Me:
"thanky
oudad"

Tot
i:"wazi
nikewena"
Me:
"whoi
spr
egnantv
ele?"
Tot
i:"i
tdoesn'
tmat
terbutIsayi
tsagi
rl
"

Wekeptonsi
phi
ki
sana

Me:
"ok,
ok,
Isayl
et'
sbet
"
Tot
i:"howmuch"

Ay
anda:
"R1000
Me: "hhawucha,R1000i
stoomuch,
howam I
goi
ngt ogetaR1000?"

Ay
anda:
"youar
ewor
kingbhabha"
Me:
"noI
'
m not"

Tot
i:"uy
ozeusebenzenj
eAngel
?"
Me:
"yesTot
iwhenI
'
m donewi
thmyBTech
andmydegr
eeatUni
sa"

Dad:
"aweeeE,
youar
einbi
gtr
oubl
eAy
anda"
Me:"soR1000i
tis,
ifi
tsagirl
dadwi
l
lpayifit
s
aboyTot
iandAy
andawi l
lpayusi
mal
iizoza
ki
mi"

Tot
i:"whyy
ou?"
Me:
"Ist
il
lhav
enappi
est
obuy
"

Ayanda:
"Iwil
lbuyt
hem bhabha,
youknow
that,
sowhati
syourexcuse?"
Me:
"ar
gghhh,
Ihat
eyoual
l"

Dad:
"wel
ovey
out
ooAngel
"
Me:
"ahhhh,
ahhhhh"
Ay
anda:
"bhabhawhati
sit?"
Me:
"ahhhhhh"Ihel
dmyst
omach

Toti
:"y
ini
,khul
umani
phel
a,Angel
arey
ou
fi
ne"

ItookAy
anda'shandandplacedi
tonmy
tummy,Ayandabeyi
enj
oyerkethi
spar
t.

Ay
anda:"shei
ski
cki
ngbhabha,Ki
ck
Makhumal
o"hewassmi
li
ngmf xmm si
sil
i
mau
Ay
andakodwa
Me: "chaAyandakubuhl
unguand
yangi
khathal
i
samine"

Ay
anda:
"yes,
yes,
yes,
that
'
smypaddl
epop"
bengat
hiuy
angi
gov
uzal
i
ttl
eper
ver
t
Tot
i:"i
ssheki
cki
ng"

Ay
anda:
"yesTot
i"

Yhoooakascr
eamauTot
i

Dad:
"yekel
ubangumsi
ndophel
aSakhi
"
Tot
i:"chawongi
yeka,
that
'smyf
ir
stgr
and
chi
l
d"

Ay
anda:
"whati
sthi
s?"
Me:
"Idon'
tknow"

Tot
i:"Yi
ni?"
Ay
anda:
"it
ssomet
hingshar
pkwi
tummyka
bhabhay
abonakal
a"

Tot
i:"mhl
ampey
ingal
ooral
eg"
Dad:"y
ouseet
hat
'saboy,
agi
rlwon'
tki
ck
t
hatmuch"

Weal
ll
aughed

Me: "l
ungi
saniphel
aiR1000,
ingat
hi
sey
enyukil
etoR3000manje"

Toti
:"si
ncewhenareyouaShyl
ock, don'
tbe
sosurewenay
ouwer eki
cki
ngli
kehell,
someti
mesIwouldt
hinkyouwereplayi
nghide
andseeki
nmyt ummynoNhlanhla"
Me:
"Itwasnotmei
twasNhl
anhl
a"
Ayanda:Idoubtverymuchi
fitwasNhl
anhl
a,i
t
wasy ouusakhabanamanj
e"
Me:
"usuy
abhedakemanj
e"

Tot
i: "okongaphumul
alaphouJehovamkhul
u
nj
e, IusedtowakeupngathiIwasrunni
nga
Marathon"
Me:
"ar
eyougangi
ngonme"

Tot
i:"j
ustbei
nghonest"
Me:
"dad!
!!"

Dad:"noi nt
hisoneIagr
eewi t
hthem sor
ry
Angel,onedayIwokeupnginenosebleed
ungi
khahlel
engenyawongil
ele"

Theyal
ll
aughed
Me:
"mf
xm ,
Ihat
eyoual
l"
Dad:
"yi
nil
eibangaumsi
ndongal
aki
ni"
Ay
anda:
"it
sbhabhababa"

Dad:
"whati
sshedoi
ng?"
Ay
anda:
"eat
ingmar
shmal
l
ows"

Toti
:"Angel
youmustst
opeatingsweet
s
ngol
uhl
oboorel
sei
nganeizobanezi
ncwe"
Me:
"ahhhTot
i,t
hosear
emy
ths"

Tot
i:"l
i
stenkezi
Angel
s,I
'
mleav
ingnext
monthf
or2months"
Me:
"wher
ear
eyougoi
ngTot
i?"
Tot
i:"t
oGhanamyAngel
"
Me: "noTot
i,y
oucan'
tl
eavenow,
Ican'
tgi
ve
bi
rt
hungekho,youpr
omisedy
ouwil
lbeher
e"

Ist
art
edcr
ying

Toti:"Iwill
betheremyAngel
,nothi
nghas
changed, Iwil
lnev
ermisst
hatday,Iwi
l
lkeep
mypr omise"
Me:
"ar
eyousur
e"Iwassni
ff
ing

Tot
i:"genui
ne
Me:
"pi
nkyPr
omi
se"

Tot
i:"pi
nkypr
omi se,
,
,,y
ouar enolonger10
nowmyAngelpinkypr
omi sesareoverduenow
"
Me:
"Iknow"

Wechat
tedandsai
dgoodby
es.

Weat
esupperIwassol
azyt
owal
k.

Me: "Yanda,
I'
mlazyt
owal
kcany
oucar
ryme
pl
ease"
Ay
anda:
"hay
ibhabha,
let
'sgo"

Isul
ked

Ayanda: "yessessInganathi
"hesai
dthat
armingthealarm andswitchi
ngofft
heli
ghts
zasesit
tingroom andhecar ri
edmeupstai
rs.
Ayanda:"ifIwasIt
ruckI
'
m sur
eIwoul
dbea
HEAVYDUTYTRUCKcasIgett ocar
ryHeav
y
l
oadev er
yday"

Kwangathi
akashongoIcri
ednon-st
op,Iknew
Iwasbigbuthedidn'
thav
et or
ubiti
nthatIwas
huge.

Ayanda:
"I'
mjoki
ngMar
hadebe,
xol
elemf
azi
wam "

Iwor
emypj ,Iwassti
ll
sni
ff
inghhabeAy
anda
washeart
lessangibi
zengeHEAVYLOADpho.
Wegotinbed

Ay
anda:
"comesl
eepont
opofme"
Me:"noYanda,Ican'
tsiyangaci
phezel
aisi
su
manj
eumangil
elephezukwakhosingenza
ngi
ngabi
comf
ort
abl
ekubenzi
manophef
umul
a"
Ay
anda:
"sul
i
lakal
okuudaddybedl
alanj
e"

Me:"dlal
akabi,IknowI
'
m bi
gYandabuty
ou
don'
thavetot
ell
me"
Ayanda: "xol
onyaniMarhadebeIknowitwasa
l
amej oke,youcanneverbeaheav yl
oad.Al
lI
wantedtosaywast hankyouforthi
swonderf
ul
gi
ft.
Me:
"somi
naI
'
m notwonder
ful
"

Ayanda:"youwere,youar
eandyouwill
for
everbebhabha,t
handaMashwabada"
Me:
"lov
eyout
oo"

Ay
anda:
"comeher
e"
Me:
"onemi
nut
epl
ease"
Irol
ledofft
hebedandtookanopenpackedof
candyfoamsngangenanazoezi
ngubeni
.

Ay
anda:
"hay
ibhabha"
Me:
"onl
ytwobhabhapl
ease"

Ay
anda:
"hay
iIgi
veup"

Hebroughtmeclosetohi
m andbr
ushedmy
backti
l
lIfel
lasl
eep.
..
..
.

I
ngakaYanda;
)
[
08/
19,
00:
41]Mca:
INSERT153

Fol
l
owi
ngweekendAy
andawasi
nvi
tedt
oan
oldfr
iend' spartyordi
nner,
itwasaf or
mal
thi
ng.Ibizoqalaat6pm sowef i
rstwentfor
shoppingIst ruggl
edabitbutfi
nall
yIgot
somet hingnicethatal
soaccommodat edmy
tummy .Wecamebackandgotr eady.

Wewerereal
l
ybeaut
iful
nomyeniwam,
Ireal
l
y
di
dn'
twannagobutYandai
nsi
sted.

Ayanda:"bhabhaIdon'
tthi
nkwear
ingaheel
is
agoodidea"
Me: "Iwi
llcopebhabha,
Iwi
l
lal
sot
akef
lat
shoeswit
hmei ncase"
Ay
anda:
"sur
e"

WedrovetoSomersetwesti
nForestWalk
Complex,
bytheti
mewear r
ivedt
here,t
he
pl
acewasful
lal
ready,wewer ewalki
ng
t
owar
dst
hehouse,
Iwhi
sper
edt
oAy
anda.

Me: "bhabha,
Idon'
tfeel
comf
ort
abl
ebeen
her
e"
Ay
anda:
"whybhabha"

Me:
"lookatme,I
'ml
ikeanel
ephantandal
l
t
hel
adiesher
ewi
l
lbesexy"
Ayanda:"evenifyouwer easbigasawhal e
youwill
alwaysbesexyandbeaut ifuli
nmyey es
Marhadebe,don'teverdoubtt
hat"Ay anda
alwayshasawayofmaki ngmef eelbett
er
nobasengizi
bukelaphansi

Inodded,i
nsecuri
ti
esofbei
ngpregnant
bezi
dlal
angami.Wewentinsideandindeed
l
adieswereal
lstunni
ng,Yandaheldmywai st
.
Oneguycomet ous.
Guy:"Ki
l
ler"i
nawayIhatedt
heKill
ername
abant
ubebembizangay
euAyanda
Ay
anda:
"Eddi
e,zi
khi
phani
?"

Guy:
"gr
andgr
oot
manandy
ou?
"
Ayanda:"sure,meetmybeauti
ful
wife
I
nganathi,
bhabhayinj
ayam l
eMadoda
bespanasonkeheisalawy
erbyprofessi
onbut
yo.
..(Madodaclear
edhist
hroat
),wecallhi
m
Eddie"

Madoda: "
beaut
iful
indeed,ni
cetomeetyou
ma'am ,
hestret
chedhi shandandki
ssedthe
backofmyhandIsmi led.

Ay
anda:
"heykwedi
ni,
noonedoest
hatt
omy
wi
fe"
Madoda:"ngat
hiy
ali
bal
aKil
lert
hatI
'
m ol
der
t
hanyoubutyouaremybosske"

Ay
anda:
"Imeani
tEddi
e"
Madoda:
"hadetaKi
l
ler,
wel
comeandl
etme
gety
oudri
nks"
Ayanda:
"nodon'
twor
ry,
wewi
l
lhel
pour
sel
ves
boy"

Theguy swhower etherewer eyoung,ot hers

almostt hesameageasAy andaandot hers
aboutMawande' sagewhi chmeanst heywer e
nott hatoldbutt hecar stheywer edriving,the
suitstheywer ewear i
ngandt hewhiskey sthey
weredr inkingjustmademesuspi cious.I '
m not
tal
kat i
vebutI '
mv eryvigi
lant.Youcouldsee
theywer esti
nkingr i
chbuti fyoucouldask
them onebyonewher edot heywor k, Idoubt
halfoft hem bebesebenzabuti twasnoneof
mybusi
ness.

Ladieswer ereal l
ybeaut iful Imeanwayt oo
beaut if
ul , al
lwear i
ngv eryshor texpensi ve
dressesal mostr eveli
ngt heirunder wearsbut
bezibaf anel e.Ireallyfeltlikeawhal ebutev enif
Iwasn' tmar riedorpr egnantIwoul dn'ttr
yany
ofthei rdr essesl etalonei fIwasgoi ngtoa
partyl i
ket hatwher ether ewi l
lbemen.Cal lme
ufarm gi rlbutwhatmakesy oual ady ,
isnot
beendet er minedbywhaty ouwear, how
fl
exibley ouar e, thi
ngsy oudof ory ourmant o
satisfyhi m ev eni fyouhav et olowery our self
anddot hingst haty oudon' tfeelcomf ortable
with, t
hingsy ouknowt heyar eagainsty our
mor alsandv aluesbuti tst hewayy ouconduct
your selfwheny ouar eal oneandwheny ouar e
aroundpeopl e.
Babiesenisakhulayooutt hereNev erbyany
chancecompr omisey ourvaluesforanyman
uzenzecheapj usttosat i
sfyhim nomat t
erhow
ri
chhei s,themi nuteheseest hatyoudon't
valueandrespecty ourselfhowdoy ouexpect
themant or espectyou.Youngl adies,most
peoplewil
l sayitfeelssogr eattocryinaC-
classMercedesbenzebecausei tscomf ort
abl e
thancryi
ngi nawheel barrowbutmakesur ey ou
don'tl
osey ourselfandwhaty oubeliev
ei njust
tomakeamanhappy .Bey ourselftherestwill
foll
ow.

Asy oungast heyl

ookedandasf ormaland
decenttheywer ebutIwasnof oolt
hosewere
thugsinexpensivesuitsandties.Youknow
thoseguy syouwillt
ryy ourl
evelbestt
ohave
aney econtactwit
ht hem butyoujustcan'
t
bakusinde.
Thepartywentonandt heheel
swerekil
l
ingme,
Iwenttositonthehighchai
rthatwasi
nthebar
area,all
Iwantedwasmybed.Onel adycame
andsatnexttome, shewasbeautif
ulwaytoo
beaut
iful
.

Lady:
"hi
"
Me:
"hi
"
Lady:
"I'
m Asav
elabuty
oucancal
lmeAsa"
Me:
"Inganat
hi,
nicet
omeety
ou"

Asa:"Inev
ersawy
oui
nthesepar
ti
es,
uze
nabani
?"
Me:
"wi
thmyhusband"

Asa:
"whoisyourhusbandcasmostmarri
ed
mandon'
tcomewiththei
rwivesher
ebutwit
h
t
hei
rsi
dechi
cks"

Ok, Iwantedt
osay"YI
MALAPHOWENA"
tel
l
ingamar ri
edwomanthat,ar
eyouf orr
eal
?
ButIcouldseeshemeantnoharm cas
bebonakalamnci
nci
.

Me:
"ohhh"Isai
dthat,
thatwasal
lIcoul
dsay
Asa: "youbett
ergoandl ookf oryourhusband,
kwezi par
tyanyt
hingispossible,bathr
ooms
andbal coni
eskulaphakudlelwanakhonaut hi
umt uwakhousay obet hwangumoy akantiheis
fuckinganotherbitch"

Iwant
edtolaugh,forheragecasbebonakal
a
shewasayearolderthanmeorwewer eof
sameage,sheseemedt oknowitall
.
Asa:
"howl
onghav
eyoubeenmar
ri
ed?
"
Me:
"ay
earandsomemont
hs"

Asa:"luckyyou,myboyfr
iendnevertalks
aboutmarri
age,I'
mjusthertr
ophyslutagabisa
ngasoebantwini
andhekeepsonf uckingeach
andeverygir
ladi
bananayo"
Me:
"I'
m sor
ryt
oheart
hat
"

Asa:
"it
sok,
I'
m usedt
oit"

Ayandamadeasignof"am Ist
il
lok",
Inodded,
hewasstandi
ngwit
hsomeguy sbancokol
a.

Asa:
"ist
haty
ourhusband?
"
Me: "yes"Isai
dthatsmi
l
ing,
Ilov
emy
husbandkodwa
Asa:
"hei
ssocut
e,Idon'
tknowhi
m"

Hay i
myf acechanged, whyezathimyhusband
i
scut eafterwhatshet oldme.Shemustdar e
njeasondel eduzekomy eniwam uzazisola(I
saidthatt hi
nki
ng)buthonest l
ybengizothini
neverfightnangelangaeliny
emf xmm butI
tr
ustedYanda.

Asa:
"Inganat
hi!
!"
Me:
"hey,
I'
m sor
ry"

Asa:
"uci
ngani
?"
Me:
"not
hing"

Anot
herl
adycamet
oourdi
rect
ion
Asa:"letmeleaveyou,Idon'
tl
ikethatsl
ut,
all
shedoesistofuckwit
hwonkel amadoda,I
hat
eherwi t
hpassion,seeyoulat
er"
Me:
"ok"

Theotherl
adycametome, Iwasr
eal
l
ynoti
n
themood,Iwastir
edmina.

Lady:
"Isawyoucominginwi
thAy
anda,
so
youmustbeoneofhi
sbit
ches"
Me:
"hi
swi
fe"

Lady: "ohhh, youmustbeki ddi

ngme, whoar e
youf ooli
ngbi t
ch,Ayandawi l
lnevergetmarried,
shel aughedhar d,t
hemi ghtTaKillerMARRIED,
forgetitgi
rl
y, hewas, hewillal
way sbea
player,andthis(shepointedmyt ummy)i sthis
forhim, wel
l Ij
usthopeyouar estrongenough
dar l
i
ngcasAy andaisgoi ngt ohurtyoubadl
y,
Ay andadoesn'tdol ongt ermr el
ati
onshi
ps,
whathedoesi stof uckar ound.Getti
ng
pregnantforAy andai sthebi ggestmist
akethat
youev ermade, youdon'tgetpr egnantfora
playerdarl
ing,Ihavef uckedy ourmanbef or
e
dar l
i
ngandIl efthim breathlesssojustwatch
andseei fmani hambaher euzabe
esongowakhona"

Shel ookedatmeasIwassi t
tingonahi gh
chairfrom toet omyheadwi ththatlookeku
under minayo.Bepr egnantandseewheny ou
j
ustgetsoi nsecurefornor eason, Ifel
tsohot,
Iwasboi l
inginside,Iwantedt oslapheracross
herface, buthonestngubani ndake
ndamqwaba.Two.Iwassonotgoi ngtostoop
toherl evel,Iwasr ai
sedbyal adyIwasnot
goingt oentertainherbull
s***
SoIj
ustl
ookedatherandsmi
l
ed,
sot
heysay
WISDOM I STHEARTOFKNOWI NGWHATTO
IGNORE, Iwassogoi ngtoignoreheranga
beli
eve,yesmay beYandawasapl ayerasmost
peopleclai
m hewasbutt heYandaIknowhas
eyesforme, yesuyindoda, I
'm notsayinghe
won'tdost upi
dt hi
ngshedoesgett empt edlike
anyhumanbei ngbutatt hatti
meher espected
me, respectedourmar r
iage,Iwassonotgoi ng
toall
owt hatfl
uuz etomakemedoubtourl ove.

Ayandacametoust
hel
adybl
ockedhi
m ashe
wascomingtome.

Lady:"ifi
tsnotthemightyTakill
er,l
ongt
ime
nosee"shekissedhischeek,youknowwhat
theysayngabantuabakebadibane,andAy
anda
l
etherkissedhischeeki
nfrontofmewhich
meansittruewhatshesaidbefore.
Ay
anda:
"Nomonde,
thewel
lknownCape
Towncheapsl
ut"hecameclosert
oher"don'
t
youev
erdaredothatagai
n,y
ouwil
lregr
et"

Nomonde: "It
houghtyouhav
echangedyou
arest
il
ltherut
hlessandr
ude,Iwasn'
tgoi
ngto
askyoutofuckmer el
ax"
Ayanda: "i
fIwantedtofuckyouIwouldhave
donethatlongti
meagobutt henIdon'tdo
cheapsluts,nal
omhlant
lawomsi phawam
mhlampengewav al
ekazizi
foifndandi
ke
ndakudl
a"hel ookedatme

Ayanda:"babi
eszam ar
eyouok?"Hesai
d
thatbr
ushi
ngmytummyov ermydr
ess
Me:
wef
inebhabha"

Nomonde:"yousuchabast
ardAy
anda,
Ihat
e
you"shel
eft
.
Ayanda:"kuneli
xelegundi
li
l
indi
leI'
m sure
hambeneny ekulamantombazanacashesaid
hewill
bebacksoont henwewilll
eave"
Me: "i
tsokbhabha"heki
ssedmeIki
ssedhi
m
backforal
ongtime

Voi
ce:
"ti
meoutki
ds"webr
oket
heki
ss
Ay anda: "eksei TaMongs, Ican'thelpmy sel
f
mywi f
ei sirr
esisti
ble".Weexchangesgr eeti
ngs
, i
twast heguybel i
ndwenguAy anda,thenwe
saidourgoodby es, whentheywer edone.I
reallywant edabat hroom ,Ihav ebeen
compl ainingkuAy andaIgotof fasangena
eyar diniIwant edt oruntothenear est
bat hroom, It
riedmyl evelbestukuwubamba
umt sontsobutIpeedmy self.Iwasso
embar rassedIr ushupst ai
rst ookoffmy
clothesandt ookashower .Isatont hebed
tr
y i
ngtot
hinkbekwenzekaniv
elengami
,I
start
edcr
yingAyandawalkedin

Ayanda:
"bhabhawhati
sit,
whyar
eyoucr
ying
"
Me:
"Ipeedmy
sel
fYanda,
whodoest
hat.
."

Ayanda:"youarepregnantbhabha,remember
thedoct
ortoldusaboutthat,t
hatitmight
happenevenwheny oucoughorlaugh,don'
t
feel
badmf aziwami"
Me:"IdofeelbadYanda,
nev
ert
houghtIwi
l
l
peemysel
f.
..
..

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
00:
42]Mca:
INSERT154
Totil
eftforGhana,Iwasdueont he30t hof
OctoberTotibezabuyaont he27th.I twas
Fri
daythe10t hofOctobermybi rthdayYES, I
wast ur
ning21, Yandawangi ncengawancama
aboutthrowinga21stbirt
hdaypar t
ybutI
ref
used,whowant stohav ea21stbi rthday
part
yasindway isi
su.Sowancamangel it
hi
zoyenzaafterIgavebir
th, i
twasf inebyme.So
wesimpl ewentoutemi niandcameback.

Iwas36weekspr egnant .Iwasonl eavealready

, Idon'twannal iebesi ngivi
l
aphisawor seisi
su,
ngitetemal entoi dikay a,Ihatedmy sel
fwheni t
comest obr eathingi twashar dwor seatnightI
wassnor i
ngl i
kenobody 'sbusinessYanda
woul dwakemei nt hemi ddleofthenight
thinki
ngbengi ngalal angakahlenotnowwhenI
wassnor i
ngi twaswhenIhadagoodsl eep,I
wasf orevercr yingbutabov eal l
Ienjoyedmy
pregnancy .Yandaandoobabomdal awer e
amazingev ent
hought heywouldshoutme
somet i
mesmangi qal
aul i
l
ababuy e
bangincengekwabonanott hatIwantedtocr
y
butbezivel
ezit
himazikezaphumai bengunon-
stop.SoYandawentoutar ound8y oumight
thi
nkbehambel esomet hi
ngimportantbutmy
apri
cotcandyfoams.

Thelastt
imeIcheckedIwaswat chi
ngTV
ngi
vuswenguYandamay ebuy
eheboughtf ood
andmymi lkshaketoo,butIdi
dn'tf
eell
ike
eat
ingsoheat ewhenhewasdonekwamel e
si
yolal
a,Iwasr eal
l
yl azytowalkupst
airs.

Me: "Yanda,howaboutwet
alktobabomdala
asini
kehisbedr
oom at
hat
heeyet
hu,thest
air
s
arereal
l
ykill
i
ngme"
Ayanda:"nobhabha,
youar
eal
mostt
her
e,
sosunyamezel
a"
Me:"bri
ngmeabl
anketkeIwi
l
lsl
eepher
e,
I
'mt
iredmina"
Ay
anda:
"Inganat
hiKhumal
o!!
!"

Me:
"Imeani
t"
Ay
anda:
"yer
ryat
etema,come"

Hecar
riedmeupstai
rsandputmeinthebed
andst
artedki
ssi
ngme, hesuddenl
yst
opped.

Ayanda:"youmustbef
uckenki
ddi
ngme
Si
many e!
!"

Il
ookedathi
m
Ayanda:"whati
sthi
s?(OhhmyGod, If
orgot
tohidei
tagai
n)wheredi
dyougett
his?"

Me:
"I'
m sor
ryYanda"
Ayanda: "wheredi
dyougett
hisshit
!!
!,i
sitt
he
reasonwhyy oudon'
twannaeat,udl
ale
rubbish"

Me:
"noYanda"
Ayanda:
"wher
edi
dyougett
hisshi
tSi
many
e!!
"

Me:
"ekhay
angokubesi
sekhay
a"
Ayanda:"youhavebeenfeedingmychild
umhlaba(soi
l)wi
thoutmyknowl edgeSi
many
e,
yer
rr,whatel
searey ouhi
dingfr
om me! "
Me:"not
hingYanda,
,
,pl
easedon'
tshout,
,I
di
dn'
twannatel
lyoucasIknewyouwill
freak
out"
Ayanda:
"Damnri
ghtI
nganat
hi!!
!,Iwasnot
goi
ngtoall
owy
ouudli
seumtanam thi
sshi
t"

Me: "rememberyoupromisedlastti
methat
youwon'tshout,
angizenzi
nami Yanda,i
ts
crav
ingsdoy out
hinkminangiy
athandaudla
umhlaba"
Ay
anda:
"ar
eyououtofy
ourmi
nd.
.umhl
aba!
!"

Me: "I'
m notcrazyYanda"Isaidt
hat
ngiswabil
eIcouldfeelt
ear
st hr
eat
eningmy
eyes,Ayandaveleangi
thet
hiseokwengane,
I
bl
inked100t i
me
Ayanda:"Iknowbhabha,Idi
dn'
tsayy
ouar
e,
youwil
lneverbecr
azy,comehere"
Hekissedme, hayikemi nanjebengingafune
ki
ss,IwanteduMtungwa.Heki ssedmewhi l
e
undressi
ngme, Iundressedhimt oo.Hel ai
d
mei nthebedgentl
easi fIwasoneoft hose
boxesofikazi
bhal
weFRAGI LEhandlewi thcare.
Hewentdownt omytummy

Me:
"Yandapl
ease"
Ay
anda:
"what?"

Me:
"umel
eni
"
Ay
anda:
"Inganat
hiI
'
mthemanher
e"

Iwasgoi
ngcr
azymi
na,
hest
opped

Me:
"Ay
andaKhumal
o!!
!"
Ayanda:
"bhabhaI
'
m notgoi
ngt
omakel
ovet
o
you"

Me:
"why?Youdi
dn'
thav
eapr
obl
em bef
ore"
Ayanda:"y
esbhabhabuty
ouar
e3weeks
befor
eyoudel
i
ver"

Me:
"kanci
nci
bhabha,
pleaseMt
ungwa.

Hhawuchabengingasozengi
ngali
l
iIreal
ly
neededtobeser
vicedaniy
azini
nathefeel
ing
obanayo.

Ay
anda:
"noSi
many
e"

Icover
edmy sel
fwi
thabl
anketandcr
iedmor
e,
Ayandagotbehi
ndmeandcuddledme.
Ayanda:"bhabha, youarebeingunf
air,
you
knowIcansat isf
yyouwi t
houtpenetr
ati
ngwhy
ufunnynje.It
snotthatIdon'twannamakelove
toyou,I'
mj ustconcernaboutthebaby
Marhadebe.Iknowy ouwantmeandIwanty ou
toobutl
et'sthi
nkaboutPaddl epop"

Ikeptonsni
ff
ing

Ayanda:"pl
easebhabhadon'
tmakemef
eel
badyouknowwhatI'm doi
ngi
sri
ght"

Iwasstil
lsni
ff
ing,herubbedmyni ppl
esand
suckedmyear, Imoaned,hishandwentdown
andrubbedmycl i
tor
isohhLordImoanedloud.
Heturnedmeandmademesl eeponmyback
andpartedmylegshewentdownt omy
tr
easurengoml omowenzaadumengazoke
uMtungwaunt i
l Icame.Hecl
eanedmeand
pull
edmecl osertohim.

Ay
anda:
"ar
eyouok"
Me:
"def
ini
tel
ynot"

Ay
anda:
"hay
ibobhabha"
Me:
"Idon'
twanty
ourt
onguebutuMt
ungwa"

Ay
anda:
"bhabha!
!!
"
Me:"I'
m bei
ngser
iousorel
seIwi
l
lgoandbuy
avi
brat
or"

Ayanda:"heywenabhabha,
ndakubul
ala
ngezandl
aifungenzal
ont
o"
Me:
"youl
eav
emewi
thnochoi
ce"
Ay
anda:
"but.
..
"
Me: "butnot hi
ng, thedoctorsaidwecanmake
l
ov eunti
l mywat erbreaksandr ememberit
s
notmeof unauMt ungwaitsyourPaddlepop,
areyougoi ngtodepr iv
ehim /herint
o
ayi
funayo, doy outhinkuzobahappy
may esebelethi
weknowi ngthatubumncisha,
chaangi cabanginjalo"

Ay
anda:"y
hooobhabhay
ouar
ereal
l
ybl
ack
mail
i
ngme"
Me:
"isi
twor
king?"

Ay
anda:
"itdoes,
wozani
la"

Hepppppy
yy y
yyy
,Ismi
l
ed.Heturnedmeand
mademesl eeponmysideandcamebehi
nd,
wemadeloveandIwassati
sfi
ed.Hhawu
bengi
moy
izel
angimthol
i
lephel
auMt ungwa;
'
)

Ayanda:"ar
eyouoknow?"Hesai
dthat
cl
eaningme
Me:
"yesIam bhabhaandt
hanky
ou"

Ay
anda:
youwel
comebhabha"

Wecuddl
ed,If
eltabituncomf
ort
abl
eIkepton
t
urni
ngandt
ossing.

Ay
anda:
"bhabhaar
eyouok?"

Me:"
Iam bhabhai
tsj
u,
,,
,
,,ahhhhhhh"Iwi
nced
i
npai
nandheldmystomach.
Ay
andaj
umped

Ay
anda:
"bhabha,
whati
swr
ong?"
Me:
"cont
ract
ions"

Ayanda:"ok,rel
ax,breath,rel
axit
sjust
pract
icecont
ract
ions ,rememberthedoctor
saidyoumightexper
iencethem af
tersex,j
ust
rel
ax"
Me:
"whati
fbhab.
..
."

Ayanda: "shhhhhh..
..
.Justlayst
il
l,don'
tmove
(hebrushedmyt ummy )"rel
axPaddlepop,
you
areworryingmommy"hekeptonbr ushi
ngmy
tummy ,aftersometimet hecont
racti
ons
passed.
Hewentbacki
ncuddl
i
ngme.

Me:
"Yanda,
I'
m scar
ed"
Ay
anda:
"ofwhatbhabha"

Me:"ofgi
vi
ngbi
rt
h,whati
fsomet
hinggoes
wr
ong"
Ay anda:"nothingwill
gowr ongbhabha,Iwil
l
bet heremfaziwami ,wehav ecomethisfar,
weal mostthereandwear ehavinguPaddle
pop.Comel et'spray"Ilookedathimin
disbeli
ef"akusheshey awuzeihambelelai
tii
ye
enex tdoor,Igiggl
edmf xmm Yandathough.We
kneeleddownandpr ayed.

Ay
anda:
"uThi
xousi
vi
lebhabha"
Me:
"howdoy
ouknow?"
Ayanda:"onethingyouhavetaughtme
Marhadebeisthat"Whenwekneeleddown
i
nfrontofGod,hestandsupforusandwhenhe
st
andsupf orus,noonecanstandagai
nstus!
!
Sowemustl etGodbet hepi
ll
arofourLI
VES"

Ifel
tli
kecr
yingyazi
hear
ingYandasay
ingt
hat,
Ihel
dhimtightandwesl
ept..
..
..

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
00:
45]Mca:
INSERT155

Iwas39weeksandf ourdaysitwasonthe27
thofOctober,Mondayt obeexact, Iwas
bookedatt hehospit
alforthe29t hsi
nceIwas
dueonthe30t h.Iwasreall
yamess, myfeet
wereswollen,thansGodIdi dn'thav
estret
ch
marks,Iwassi ze32t o34someofmy32
cl
othesdi
dn'tfi
tme.Bendit
shongal
obel
ly
i
round,nezi
dleleezi
nkul
uzabonwanguYanda
zeBEARbezipink.

UTotiandDadbebezol and-erthatdaybuti n
di
ffer
entflights.Totiwasf l
yi
ngst raightfrom
Ghanav i
aORTamboubabaf r
om Dur ban, we
wenttopickt hem eai r
port.Daddyar r
ivedan
hourearl
ierthanTot ithenwaf i
kanoTot i
.UToti
sometimesdoesembar rassme, shei sforwar
d
andloud, shescr eamednj emay ev el
aki t
hi.

Shecamet omeandhuggedme, shewenton

herkneesandki
ssedmytummybesi buki
sa
ngabantu,r
ememberal
ltheKhumaloswere
ther
e.

Me:
"Tot
iyar
assahl
e,I
'
mfi
net
hansandy
ou"
Tot
i:"howi
smygr
andchi
l
d?"

Me:
"howabouty
ouasky
ourdaught
erf
ir
st"
Tot
i:"Icanseey
ouar
efi
nemyAngel
"

Me:
"youar
ehear
tl
ess,
youar
enotmymot
her
"
Tot
i:"I
'
mjoki
ngmyAngel
howar
eyou?"

Me:
"I'
m okTot
iandy
ou?"
Tot
i:"I
'
mfabul
ous"

Me:
"It
houghty
ouwon'
tmakei
t"
Tot
i:"Iwoul
dn'
tmi
ssi
tforaday"

Dadcl
ear
edhi
sthr
oat
Tot
i:"ohhhoney,
I'
m sor
ry,
Icompl
etel
yfor
got
"
Dad:"howcany oufor
getyourhusbandt
hat
youhaven'
tseenfor2mont
hs"

Tot
i:"I
'
m sor
ryhoney
"sheki
ssedhi
m
Me:"ahhh,I
'm goi
ngt
ovomi
t,y
ouar
eol
dfor
t
hat"Ayandapokedme

Dad:
don'
tfor
getwear
est
il
lyourpar
ent
snj
alo
"

Totigr
eet
edevery
oneandhuggedt hem ,
Ndumiepushedhertrol
leyekababaibag
beseyi
semotwenial
ready.
Me:"wherear
ewegoi
ngf
rom her
emi
naI
'
m
st
arv
ing"
Dad: "i
sther
eanyt
hingoy
icabangay
onj
e
ngaphandl
ekokudl
aAngel"

Me:
"yesdadi
khona"
Dad:
"whati
sit?"

Me:
"food"

Mfxmm theylaughed,i
twasaf
ter5pm
bengi
l
ambi l
e,wepai df
ort
heparki
ngandwent
toWater
front.

Me:
"soungi
phat
hel
eini
eGhana?"
Toti
:"not
hingaAngel
,Iwast
her
eforbusi
ness
noti
naholi
day"
Me: "haaa,
youdon'
tl
ovemeanymor
e"I
sul
ked
Toti:
"ok,
I'mjoki
ng,y
ouwillseei
twhenwe
gethome,God,howdoyoucopewithAngel
?"

Msir
a: "wedon'
thav
eachoi
ceTot
i,shei
s
f
orevercry
ing"

Dadchanget hetopi chewentonexpl ainingto

Ayandat hataccor dingt ot heHlubi sthef i
rst
chil
dy omunt uoshadi lei
bel et
helwakul ontombi
thenibuyisweof ficiall
ykibososi nce
bengizobel et
helaeKapabekumel engiqala
ekhayanenganebef oreiyaeCof i
mv aba.He
wentonat hiitwil
l dependonourav ail
abili
tyf
or
ubuyiswakwenganei ngabuy i
swaesemncane
nomasey indalaakhonki ngebutbonaas
Rhadebest heywer er eadyf orthatcer emony
butibi
yi
siny
anzel
ot hatinganemel
eiqal
e
ekhayasi
nceingazubelethwel
wakhona.

Ay
anda:
"nosi
yezwababa,
sokwenzanj
alo"
Baba:
"Good"

Wewentbackhomeaf terweat e.Weasked

ooTot itosleepov erbebez oy ainKui
lsriv
erthe
fol
lowi ngday .West ay edtherechatti
ngand
l
aughi ng.Iaskedof unai t
iye,theyal
lwant edit,
Istoodupngay ol
enzat hereasonIdecidedt o
dot hatIhadsomepai nsi nmybackt heywould
comenowandagai nt heywer emil
dthough.I
j
ustt houghtt hatmay bezenzi wakuhlalaphansi.
Imadet easaphuzasaqeda.Iwentt owasht he
cups.Thedi shwasherwast herebutIwant ed
towasht hem my self.WhenIwasdoneI
moppedt heki t
chenf loornott hati
twasdi rt
y.
Isti
l
l f
eltli
keworking,Iwant
edtor earr
anged
theloungebutbebehlezi
.Iwentroom byroom
andcollectedt
hedi r
tyl
aundr
y.Isortedi
t
ngaqali
sangazifakakwiwashingmachine.

Msir
a:"what
'supwi
thl
ast
bor
n,wakhut
hal
a
kaso"
Mawande:"xakemna,thel
astti
mengimbona
enzakasoi
twaslasty
earesandakushada"

TheenergyIhadIdon'
tknowbivel
akuphi
i
bimangazanami.Around10pm Iwasalmost
donebekushi
yekethelastl
oadbutst
il
ldi
dn'
t
feel
tir
ed.

Ayanda:
"bhabhat
hat
'senoughnowcomesi
t
down"
Toti
:"konay
ini
ndabai
sisusakhosi
sezansi
kanj
e"
Me:
"si
hlezi
sinj
e"

Ay
anda:
"nhasi
sezansi
many
ani
bhabha"
Ndumie:
"sezobelekathat
'swhysobanj
e
i
nganesi
yangasekuphumeni"

IwenttositonAy anda,bekumnandi
kuhl
ekwa
,Istoodupngiyobhekaumachine,
somet
hing
st
rangehappened

Ay
anda:
"bhabha,
whyngi
manzi
?"
Me: "whyubuzami
nav
ele?"Isai
dthat
ngokuzi
qaj
a

Ay
anda:
"it
syou,
youpeedonmeMar
hadebe,
agai
nlookngi
manzi
"
Msi
ra:
"AGAI
N!!di
dsheoncepeeony
ou?"

Hewasl
aughi
ng.Ndumi
eandTot
ijumped

Tot
i:"l
etmeseeAngel
"

Iwasr
eal
l
ywet,
howdi
dithappen?

Ndumi
e:"thi
sisnotgood,youhadanabsent
br
eak,
yourwaterbr
oke,thebabyi
scoming"
Ay
anda:
"hee,
youmeannow"

Ndumi
e:"y
esnow!
!"
Ayanda:"letmecal
lADTathumel
ean
ambulancecasER24uzol
ibazi
sa"
Tot
i:"doesy
ourADTcov
ert
heAmbul
ance"

Ay
anda:
"yesTot
i"
Tot
i:"l
etmef
onet
hem "

Ndumie: "t
hat'
stool
atef
orthat,(
hemademe
l
ayonmyback)Ineedt oseeifudi
lat
ed
kangakanani"

Ay
anda:
"howar
eyougoi
ngt
odot
hat"
Ndumie:"ndi
zov
aIcervi
xngomwe,
bri
ngme
t
heglovesi
nmyr oom Ay
anda"

Ayanda:"uphambene,
youar
enotdoi
ngt
hat
emfazi
niwam "
Ndumie:"youdon'
thaveachoice,oncethe
waterbr
eaksthebabymightbeindangerof
dri
nkingi
tafumaneaninfect
ionorthecor
d
i
phumewhi chmightbefatal
nakuInganat
hi,
is
thatwhatyouwant?"

Me:
"butI
'
m dueont
he30t
hnott
oday"
Ndumie:"ther
eisnoti
me,
bri
ngmet
hegl
oves
andt
hethrowAy anda"
Ayanda:
"heyf
okof
,youar
enotdoi
ngt
hat
wena"

Me:
"ahhhh"

Her antoNdumi e'

sbedroom andbrought
glovesandat hrow,hay
i naki
miitdidn'
tsitwell
i
nt oyobaubabomdalaezobonauMar hadebe,
phelangumunt uwasemziniwami butwhat
choicedidIhave,hewasaqual i
fiedmi dwif
e
andi twasnotaboutmebutourPaddl epop..
..
.
I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
00:
46]Mca:
INSERT156

Ndumi e:"cany ouexcuseuspl ease"theyall

l
eftexceptforAy andaandTot i,heputat hr
ow
tocovermyl owerpar t.Ayandat ookoffmy
underwear.Hei nsertedhisf i
nger
angaj
onganga( withoutlooking),Iwas
embarrassedhey, heismybr ot
her-in-lawbut
tr
ustuNdumi ehei sverydecentand
prof
essionalandwhatchoi cedidIhav e?"
Tot
i:"and?"

Ndumi
e:"wear
est
il
lsaf
e,shei
sOScl
osed"
Ay
anda:
"meani
ng?"
Ndumi
e: "t
hecervi
xisst
il
lcl
osed,
wehav
e
t
imetorushhert
ohospit
al"

Theytookmet ot
hecarandr ushedmeto
hospit
al.Weal
lwent,Ayandahadever
ythi
ngI
neededincl
udi
ngthebaby'
sst uff
.Hef
onedmy
doctoronourwaytothehospital
.

Wear ri
vedinhospital,Ihadl aborpai nsal r
eady
buttheyweremi l
d,thedoct orsaidsinceIwasa
pri
migravi
daIwon' treach10cm soon.They
keptchecki
ngmycer vix,whenIar r
iv edi n
hospit
alIwas1cm.Wabet hau12am wabet ha
u8am, thepainswer ekil
lingme, Iwant edto
pushaphumeuPaddl epopbutt hesi sterkept
tel
li
ngmeImustnotdot hat,allIwant edt odo
wast ocutmyst omachngi sincamat hiseleku
Ayandaazov akunj
ani njobahl aleathi "bhabha
l
ambi l
eorbhabhakhondi phe"
wabethau10am bythatti
meIwasgoingcrazy
,thepainswer
eunbearabl
e.Iwas10cm r
eady
t
odeliver.

Ihavenev erexperiencedsuchpai ns,period

painsar epai nf
ul ,whensomeonebr eaksy our
vi
rginit
yt hepai nsarewor seandwheny ou
miscarryt hepai nsareunbearablebutlabor
painshay i chaababat heyareoutoft hiswor l
d.
Iswor eont hatdaythatIwill
nev erhavesex
again, Ayandawast her
eholdingmyhand, Toti
kwelinyei cala.

Ayanda:"bhabhay
angi
l
imaza(bhabhay
ouar
e
hurt
ingme)"
Me: "ngiy
akul
i
maza,
daki
we,
whataboutme,
haaaaaaa"
Isqueezedhi
shandhar
der

Ay
anda:
"bhabha"
Me: "shutupyouf
ool,i
tsal
lbecauseofy
ou,
yhoooooooobengi
j
uluke

Tot
i:"r
elax,
Angel
,br
eat
h,al
lwi
l
lbef
ine"
Me:"don'
ttel
lmet
orel
ax,
itsal
lAy
anda's
f
ault
,IHATEYOUAYANDAKHUMALO,Ihate
you"

Iwast
akent
othedel
i
ver
yroom

Sist
er:"onl
yoneper
soni
sal
l
owedt
oent
er
here"
Ay
anda:
"thatwi
l
lbeme"
Tot
i:"ar
eyousur
ebecauseIdon'
tmi
nd
Ay
anda:
"yesTot
i"

Toti
:"okthen,al
lthebest,
youwil
lbefi
ne
Angel"sheki
ssedmysweatyfor
eheadand
st
eppedaside.

Ay
anda:
"Il
ovey
ouMar
hadebe"
Me: "shutup,
undi
bil
i
sel
angamakhwapha,
shutup"

Hel
aughed

Iwasdoi
ngal
lthepush,
pushandnot
hing
Me: whenI'
m doneher
e,I'
m goi
ngtodi
vor
ce
youandkil
lyouAyandaKhumalo"
Ay
anda:
"I'
m sor
rykal
okubhabha"

Me:
"ny
ori
,ny
ori
,shut
.upp!
!!
"

Doctor:"pushagai
nMrsKhumalo"bengenz
ela
i
siy
ezi nay
engolokoat
hipush"

Ngaphusha,
Godi
twasnoteasy

Doct
or:
"ok,
ok,
rel
ax,
youdoi
ngf
ine"
Me:
"Ay
andaKhumal
o!!
!,
whyar
eyouqui
te?"
Ay
anda:
"andi
thi
the,
Imustkeepqui
.
.."

Me:
"shutup!
!!
,ungenzel
aisi
yezi
"
Doct
or:
"pushagai
n"

Ay
anda:
"youcandoi
tbhabha"
Me:
"shu.
..
..
haaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

Bengi
j
uluke,ngikhat
hel
engat
hikadengi
thena
i
nyoningenal
iti
.

Imadet
hel
ongl
astpush,
,
,,

Doct
or:
"ther
eyougo,
itsagi
rl!
!"

Every
onepaused,ther
ewasnobabycr y,my
babywasquite,GODdidIgivebi
rtht
oast i
l
l
bornbaby,i
tcantbe,i
tcan'tbe,
notaft
erI
havewait
edfor9mont hs,
itwasnoteasybutI
havecomplet
edmyt er
m ,almost,,
,wasita
cur
seorwhat
?.

Doct
or:"shei
snotbr
eat
hing,
ther
eisnopul
se
atal
l,Oxgy
en"

Iswal
l
owedhar
dandcl
osedmyey
es.

Si
ster:
"her
edoct
or"
Doct
or:"l
etusresuscit
ateher1,
2,3agai
n",
t
heydidi
tagai
nbutt her
ewasnot hi
ng
Si
ster:
"not
hingdoct
or"

Doct
or:
oncemor
e"
Me:
"noYanda,
no,
no,
itcan'
tbe"

Ay
anda:
"pl
easeMar
hadebe"hehel
dmet
it
e,I
heldontohi
mliketheUni
versewascomi ngt
o
anend,mycheekswereburningf
rom t
ears.
ThepainIwasfeel
i
ngwentawayi nahalfa
second

Doct
or:helookedatus,t
heworr
ywasal
l
wri
tt
eni
nhisface"I'
m sor
ry.
..

Icouldn'
ttakei
t, Ist
art
edtohyper
vent
il
ate,
whatev erhewassor r
yaboutIdi
dn'
twanna
hear,Ihav ewi
tnessedmychil
dbeing
resusci
tatedwhatmor edi
dIwannahear.

Doct
or:
"themot
her.
..
.Oxy
gen.
."

Whil
etheyweret
ryingtogivemenebs, two
doct
orscameinrushing.Thesi
sterwasbusy
wit
hmeandt hedoctorswithPaddlepop.My
earswentdead, andevanix,i
twassost rangeI
meandead, al
lofasuddenIhadubut hongo
obukhawul ezayobutfunnypar tIwasnot
sl
eeping, kuvemawusedat -wa.Bengijongil
ebut
i
twasl ikengi y
aphupha,mydr eam wasback, I
sawt hesamebi gdogIusedt oseei nmy
dreamsandt hesamel adyisekulamistinye"
sheisal i
ve"shesai d,ndothuka, ev
ent odayI
don'tknowhowt oexplai
nubawhatr eally
happenedt here

Isatupqui
ckl
y

Me: "sheisal
i
vebhabha"Isai
dthathol
ding
Yandatit
eandsmil
ing"
Ay
anda:
"nobhabha,
don'
tdot
hist
oyour
sel
f.
."
Me:
"shei
sal
i
vebhabha"
Fewmi
nut
esl
aterwehear
dababycr
y

Doctors:
"sheisback"y
oucoul
dseehow
rel
eavedtheywer
e

Ay
andasqueezedl
i
feoutofme

Me: "Itol
dyouYanda"Isai
dthat
,ngev
oice
eshi
l
ey o.
Ayanda: "shei
sali
vebhabha,ourAngel
isal
i
ve
"hesigned, at
earescapedhi
seye.

Doct
or:
"youscar
edt
heshi
toutofusy
oung
l
ady"

Theyall
laughed.Theydi
dwhattheywer
e
supposetodoandt heywer
edone.
Doct
or:
"it
sbondi
ngt
imemommy"
Me:
"issheok"
Doctor:"hundreds,funnypartwedon'tsee
anyt
hingthatmi ghthavebeenthecauseofher
nott
obeabl et obreath,wethoughtthati
ts
meconium aspirati
onorpneumat hor
axbutits
al
lcl
ear, sheishealthyandperfect"

LordhowwasIsupposet ocar r
yher.Thesister
helpedme, Iwasshaki ng, shewaswayt oo
beautif
ul,sosmal l
andsopi nkkwanzima
nomt eketi
saal lIcoul
ddowast ocry, I
'm my
l
ifeInev ereverimaginet hatonedayIwoul d
carrysuchi nnocent,cute, beauti
ful
thing
ephumaki mi.IcouldseeYandacoul dn'twaitto
holdher.
Me:
"doy
ouwannahol
dher"

Henoddedngamni
keza.

Me: "Happybi rt
hdayMtungwa",Isai
dthat
handinghim hisgif
t.YESHISBI
RTHDAYGI FT,
,
tear
swer estil
lstr
eamingdownmyf ace.

Ayanda: "Idon'tknowhowt othanky ou

Marhadebe, thisisthebestbi r
thdaygi ftIever
gotinmyent ireli
fe, thankyou"heki ssedme,
tear
swer estroll
ingdownhi scheekst oo,
besingat
hiasiphilanganoYanda, Ineversaw
Yandasoemot ional eventhedaykaOv ay o
eventhedayIwasr ushedt ohospit
alin
Queenstown.Whatmademet hehappi est
womani st hefactthatt hoseweretear sofjoy
...
..
.
Ayanda: "hel
l
owPaddl epop,hel
lowBloom
katat
a,yayazikuninisi
kul
indi
l
e,youalmost
gavetat
aahear tatt
ack,don'
teverdothat
again"

I
twasoneoft hosebestmomentsthatare
unexpl
ainabl
e, Yanda'
seyeswer
egli
tter
ing,
ful
lofli
fe,helookedatmeancumeandki ssed
myf or
ehead

Ayanda: t
herear et
hr eethingsIknowf orsur e
Marhadebe,(hesniffed,wewer elookingat
eachotherseyes) ,
ONE, Godi sal i
veandy ayi
va
i
mi t
handazoy ethu,
TWO, y ouweresentf rom
heavenandthebestpar ty ouwentbackt of et
ch
anotherAngelforme, youar ebot hdaddy's
l
itt
leAngels,THREE,wi thal lt
hatIhav edone
wrong, wi
thalltheev il
thingst hatIhavedone,
Imusthav edonesomet hi
ngSOr ightto
deserv
eyouAngel s,todeserveyourlove,to
deserv
eyourlives.Icoul
dn'taskGodf ormore
becausethisi
swhatl ove,blessi
ngis..Enkosi
Marhadebengongazenzisiyo♡♥ ..
..
.

YouknowuInganat
hikepeopl
engeAmazon
ri
ver♥ .
..
.

I
ngakaYandanoPaddl
epop;
-
)♡
[08/19,00:47]Mca: Bhabhas,fr
om thebott
om
ofmyhear tthankyoungemi khulekoyenu(your
prayers),
messagesandi nboxesGodzi l
l
aisup
andki cki
nganduI ngaisupandpost i
ng.
Siyabongahl e(Thanky ou)

I
NSERT157
Iwast akenbackt othel
aborwardandmy
familycamet heKhumalosandmydadar et
oo
noisywhent heyaretogetheri
ncl
uding
MadlomoAKATot iwhoissoforwardandway
toohy peracti
veforheragesometimemymom
doesembar r
assme.

Ayandatoldthem whathappenedi
nthedeli
ver
y
room buteventhoughwet ol
dthem t
hebaby
wasfine,t
heywer eworr
ied.

Tot
i:"Iwi
l
lbehappywhenIseeher"
Me:
"shei
sfi
neTot
irel
ax"

Aft
ersomet i
met heybr
oughtPaddl
epopand
Yandacarri
edher,herf
ootpr
int
sweretaken
al
ready,thebandsonherwri
standanklewere
st
il
lther
eandsameasmi neasYanda.One
needst
obevi
gil
antungat
hii
t'
syourchi
l
dkant
i
kadewebi
wa

Ayanda: "youreallyscaredmommyanddaddy
Paddlepopdon' tyouev erdot hatagain,youwil
l
givedaddygreyhai r"
.Ay andawassodi ff
erent
aroundPaddl epop, ifhewasagi r
lIwouldsay
hewasgl owingbutmendon' tglowr i
ght?but
the'Godzil
laAyandaKhumal o'wasgoneonl y
the'Msamar i
yaAy andaKhumal o'
.Hekissedher
"sayhellowtogr andfather,grandmot herand
youruncles,t
heyt ooktur nswithPaddlepop,
myangel wasallquit
e.

Toti:
"breastf
eedherAngel
I'm sureshei
s
hungry,
sheisstar
ti
ngt
ober est
less"
Me:
"how?DoIhav
emi
l
kal
ready
?"
Shel
aughedandnodded.

Ay
anda:
"don'
tbr
eakherneckbhabha"

OhhhLord,i
tsgoi
ngtobealongyear,
he
hel
pedmecar r
yherandIbr
eastf
edher,y
hooo
shesuckedl
i
feoutofmybreast
.

Me:
"sl
owdownl
i
ttl
eGodzi
l
la,
youwi
l
lbi
teme
"

Theyal
ll
aughed

Ndumi
e:"shedoesn'
thav
eteet
hlast
bor
n."
Me:
"hhabe,
howwoul
dIknow"
Ayanda:"Idon'tbl
amemychildforbei
ngt
he
waysheis,allshehasbeeneat
ingwassoi
l,
sweetsandmilkshake"
Me:
"don'
tst
art"

Ibr
eastf
edherandToti
showedmehowt
o
bur
pherbutYandaof
fer
edtodoi
t.

Mawande: "congrat
sagainguys,
whichmeans
l
astbornyouareknowlongerourl
ast
bornbut
Paddlepopis"
Me: "Iwil
lnotl
etyouoffhookt hateasi
ly,
I
was,Iam andwill
alwaysbey ourlast
born,your
Paddlepopwill
neverdaretakemypl ace"

Msi
ra:
"say
swho?
"
Me: "say
sme, otherwi
sesheisgoi
ngdownt
o
Kokstadwit
hhergrandpar
ents"
Toti
:"Angelyouar
eoldnowMarhadebe,
the
at
tenti
onhasalway
sbeenonyoubutnow,our
at
tenti
onwil
lbeonPaddl
epop"
Me:
"youar
eal
ltr
ait
ors"Isul
ked

Theytookpi
ctur
esasmanyast
hecan,
Ayanda
tooksomeinthedel
i
ver
ywardwar
d.

Ndumi
e:"byt
hewaywhyengal
i
liuPaddl
epop"
Ayanda:"thewaybhabhacr
iedwhi
leshewas
pr
egnant,IdoubtPaddl
epophasanytear
slef
t
"
Me:
"mf
xmm l
eav
emeal
one.

Ay
anda:
"I'
mthemannow,
thanky
oubhabha"
Dad:
"youwi
l
lal
way
sbemyboydon'
tfor
get
t
hat
"
Me:
"Iknowdad"

Theyspentadaywi thme, Iwastir

edsoIt ook
anap, theyl
eftl
ate,luckyenoughIwasina
pri
vateward,Iwasalonesot heydi
dn'tdi
stur
b
anyone.Ayandadidn'
tgoasusual hebookeda
couch.Hehasbeent hankingmeIt hi
nk100
000000000t imes.

Fol
lowingday,Iwasdi scharged.Ndumi
ecame
topickusaround4, wear r
ivedathometoa
sur
pr i
sedwelcomingparty,i
twasasmal l-
anyanathi
ng, or
ganisedbyTot i,
Ndumieand
dadcasotherswer eatwork.

Wehaddi
nnerandItookanap, Iwasreal
l
y
t
ir
edanddownther
ekuMar hadebeitwasnot
ay
oba,
let
'
sJustsayPai
ns.

Hav ingTot iar

oundr eall
yhel pedus, shewoul d
showushowt obat hher ,changeher ,onet hing
sher efusedubangi y
enzewast ogi v
ehera
bottleev enthoughsheboughtmeabr eastmi lk
pump.Iwant edt opumpmi lkandgi veheri na
bottle,shesaidsheboughti tsot hatIcanusei t
whenI '
m backatwor kbutasf ornowIneedt o
bondwi thpaddl epopandt heonl ywaywast o
breastf eedher ,shewenton, i
namonol ogue
conv ersati
ont ell
ingmehowshebr eastf edme
untilIwas3andt hat'swhywear esocl oseand
thatifitwasf orhershewoul dhav ebreastf ed
meunt ilIwas5butIdeci dedt osuckmyt humb
i
nst eadofherbr easts.Whatev ershewas
say i
ngIwassogoi ngtodoi tbutwi thAy anda
mf xmm Iwasf orcedt odoi tandhi sbearwas
forev erhungry.
Ayandawasbathi
ngherasformeinawayI
wasscaredofher,shewastoosmall
,Iwoul
d
j
ustfeedherandhewouldburpher
.

OnSatur
daywewereal l
intheloungechatt
ing,
Paddl
epopwassleepingandAy andawantedto
goandwakeherupclaimingthatshehasbeen
sl
eepi
ngfort
oolongandshemi ghtbehungry.

Tot
i:"no,
leav
eherAy
anda,
shewi
l
lwakeup
whenshei
shungr
y"
Ndumie: "Ihavedel i
ver
edsomanykidsever
si
nceIhav estartedmycareer,
Ineversaw
suchalazychi l
d, Paddl
epopwonqenano
zamul
al etalonet ocry"
Ayanda: "noNdu,l
eavemyPaddl epopal one,
sheisonly4daysol
d, anywayshewi ll
nev er
belazyli
kesomeoneIknow, def
init
elyshewi l
l
takeaft
erherdadaf
terallweshareabirthday"
Dad:"ast
heysayal
eafdoesn'
tfal
lfarf
rom i
ts
t
ree"
Me:
"ngi
yezwanj
alo"

Mawande:
"soy
ouwi
l
lcal
lherPaddl
epopt
il
l
when?"
Me:
"anyonewhowant
stogi
veheraname?
"

Dad:"ev
enifwewanttobutwewouldn'
tbeso
sel
fi
shmychil
dren,
sheisyourf
ir
stchi
ldso
younameher"
Tot
i:"Iagr
eewi
thy
ouhoney"

Ayanda:"Arey
ousurebabanoToticasr
eall
y
wedon'tmindi
nfactwewil
lbehonoredi
fyou
do"
Dad: "goaheadndodana(myson)het
ouched
Ayanda'sshoul
der
Ay
anda:
"bhabha"

Me:
"LungakoKhumal
o"
Tot
i:"Lungako,
that
'sabeaut
if
ulname"

Me:
"fr
om hi
suncl
e"Il
ookedatbabomdal
a
Mawande:
"thanky
oul
ast
bor
n"

Me:
"pl
easur
e,andy
oubhabha"

Ayanda: "youallknowthatIdon'tbel
i
evethat
muchi nbible,butIwi
llbelyi
ngifIsayIhaven'
t
wit
nessGod' spowerandHi slov
e,inmysel
f, i
n
ourmar r
iage,inourst
rugglessofarubenat
hi
uThixo(Godhasbeenwi thus)Lungakoisa
l
ivi
ngtesti
monyofthat(Ihel
dhishandt
ite,
honest
lywehavebeenthroughhel
landback
butGodwasstil
lwit
husasHesay shewill
neverl
eavenorf
orsakeus)soInameher
Ubenathi
Khumalo"

Msi
ra:
"LungakoUbenat
hiKhumal
o"
Dad: "yournamesaretoodeep,Il
ovethem
both,I'
m gladyouhaven'
tfor
got
tenthatHei
s
theLordofLords.

Hehaslist
enedtoy ourpr
ayer
s,hehear
dyour
cri
es,Hedidn'tt
urnawayfrom y
oubutHe
l
ist
enedtoy ouandansweredyouqui
ckl
ywhen
youcal
led"

Aft
ersometi
meAyandawentt
ocheckon
Paddl
epopandhecamedownwit
hher.
Me:
"whydi
dyouwakeherupbhabha?"
Ayanda:
"shewasal
readyawakeandImi
ssed
her"

Tot
i:"l
etmecheckhernappyt
hen"
Ay
anda:"Ichangedi
tal
readyTot
i,y
out
aught
mewell
"

Toti
prepareasnackandt heywenttositi
nthe
gar
den, Iwasleftbehi
ndwi t
hAyandaand
PaddlepopsoAy andadecidedt
of oneXhanti
andputitonloudspeaker
.

Xhant
i:"Ay
la"
Ay
anda:
"X-man"
Xhant
i:"zi
khi
phani
"(what
'
sup)
Ayanda:"soonboyy
ouwi
l
lbesi
tt
ingf
orl
obol
a
negoti
ati
ons"

Xhanti
: "heee??whoisget
ti
ngmar
ri
ed?i
s
l
astborngetti
ngmarr
iedagai
n?
Ayanda:"nomaar
ndon'
tbeaf
ool
,formy
daught
er"

Xhant
i:"whi
chdaught
er?
"
Ayanda:
"mydaughtermaarn"bencume,
I
l
ookedathi
m andhewinked

Xhant
i:"youar
ejoki
ng,wasn'
tl
ast
bor
ndue
endofthi
smonth(Oct
ober
)?"

Ay
anda:
"no,
shegav
ebi
rt
honTuesday
"
Xhanti:
"congr
atsbabybr
other,
siy
akubongel
a
Ndlov
u"

Ay
anda:
"thansbhut
i"
Xhant
i:"wher
eisl
astbor
n?"
Me:
"I'
m her
ebabomdal
a,nj
ani
(howar
eyou?
)
"

Xhant
i:"I
'
m goodl
astbor
nandy
ou"
Me:
"gr
eatbabomdal
a"

Xhanti:
"congrat
sguys,y
our eal
l
ymade
Ayandathehappi
estman,Icanhearf
rom hi
s
voi
ce,congr
atsagai
n"
Me:
"thanky
ou"

Xhant
i:"I
'
m comi
ngdownt
her
enextweekend
t
oseemybeaut
if
ulni
ece"
Me:
"hhabe,
whosai
dshei
sbeaut
if
ul?"

Xhant
i:"t
hatIdon'
tdoubt,
ifshei
sugl
y,shei
s
notaKhumalo"

Weal llaughed, t
hensai dgoodby e.Ay andathen
fonedMakhul uandshewaswayt ooexci t
ed
shamet henwef onedgogoeMat ati
ele.We
wentt ojoinothers, wewer echat ti
ngand
l
aughing, y
esourAngel broughtnot hingbut
happinessi nourf amil
y, wewer est arti
ngour
ownf ami l
y, YANDA' sFAMI LY,yesFami l
yas
theysayFAMI LYisoneoft hestrongestwor ds
anyonecansaybecauset helet
tersofFAMI LY
meansFat herAndMot herILoveYou.Icoul dn'
t
waittohearmyPaddl epopsay ingIl oveyou
mommyandIl oveyoudaddy ♥
Yanda'
sfami
l
y♡

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
00:
48]Mca:
INSERT158

OoTotil
eftf
oll
owingweekend,shet ol
dusDOS
andDONTS, shealsot
oldusnott ousewashing
machinetowashPaddlepop'sclothes,she
wastheonedoingherwashingwhi let
heywere
sti
l
lwithus.

Ayandaspoket oMhaVuy iseka,whowas

hel
pinguswi t
hwashingandi roningtoalsohelp
uswithPaddlepop'swashi ng.Sheusedt o
comeonWednesday sonlybutaft erourchat
,
shehadtocome3t i
mesaweek, Monday sand
Fri
daysforPaddlepop,andWednesday sforus
whichshedidn'
thaveapr oblem andshewas
veryf
ondofus, shewasli
keamot hertousand
thatmeantextr
amoneyf orher.Asforherbus
fare,Ayandamadeithi
sr esponsi
bil
it
y, she
wouldshowusoneort wot hingst
hatwewer e
notsureaboutnoAyanda.

Ayandar eall
yenjoyedl ookingaf
terPaddlepop,
theywer einseparabl
e.Oobabomdal awer ealso
supportive,theywillt
aket urnsi
nbathingher,
stret
chingandst rengtheningher.Theattent
ion
wasr eall
yonher .

OnethingIl i
kedaboutAy anda'
schild,shewas
anAngel ,atnightshewoul dsl
eeppeaceful ,
sometimeswheny ouwakeupi nthemor ni
ng,
youwouldf i
ndherawakei nhercotbutshe
wouldnev ercry.Somet i
meswewoul dwake
herupthinkingthatinobaakaphefumuli(sheis
notbreat
hi nganymor e.Onethi
ngthatwor r
ied
met houghwhenhungryshewouldcry,
nota
normal babycry
,shewoul
dscream,i
fshewas
oldIwoul dsayshewoul
dthr
owt ant
rumsot
her
thanthatsheanangel.

XhanticameonFr idaylateandSaturdayhe
tookhisniecef orshopping,sheboughther
manycl othesont opoft heonesthathergr
and
parent
s, dadandhi suncleshadalreadybought
.
Ikeptont ell
i
ngt hem theymustnotbuyso
manycl othescasshewasst il
lyoungbutdid
theyli
stenno, soIgav eup.

Youwouldsweart heywerePaddlepop' sdads

casonewil
lcomewi t
hashoppi ngbagandsay
Isawthi
sandIt houghtitwil
lbebeauti
fulon
Paddl
epop.Itr
iedt ostopthem butI
'm nota
KhumalongezangenkomokwaKhumal o.
Mawande: "Paddl epopismychi l
dI nganathi,
youhav ebeennot hi
ngbutapar entt oIndiphi
l
e
Inga,Idon'tbuycl othesforhim Idon'tsend
him moneybuty oumakesur ehei swelltaken
careoff,asy oungashei s,heisattendingthe
bestschool andzangendakhi phanecent, not
forhi
sf ood,notf orhistr
ansport,y oumadei t
yourresponsibil
i
t y.

Me:
"hei
smychi
l
dtoobabomdal
a"

Mawande: "Ionl
yhelphereandthere.Ifyou
weresomeoneel seyouwoul dn'
tgiveadamn
themi nuteyouheardthatIndi
phi
lewasmi ne
notAy anda'sbutyoulovedandy oustil
llov e
him unconditi
onal
ly
,withthatIwil
lforeverbe
grat
eful mfaziwomfowethu.(Mysi st
er-i n-law)
Me:
"pl
easedon'
tmakemecr
ybabomdal
a"
Mawande: "thatwasnotmypl anlast bornbutI
fel
tIhav etosayi t,youar eoneki ndl astborn,
youknowwhenIhear dAy andasay ingt hathe
want edt omar ryyouIt houghtt hatwast heend
oftheKhumal osnott hatwewer ecloserbef ore
wewer en'tIdon' twannal iebutIt houghtt he
wallsthathadcr acksal r
eadywer egoi ngto
coll
apse.It houghtwewon' tbewel comedher e
butasy oungasy ouar eyoubr oughtus
together, youdi dn'tonlychangeAy anda' sl
ife
forbetterbutf orust oo.Thedaywef oundout
thatIndiphilemi ghtbemychi l
dorAy anda's,
whaty ousai daboutusr eallymademewanna
beabet termanabov eal lt
hebestf at her.You
haveasmal lv oi
ce, youar etoosmal lyetwhat
yousaywhet hery ouar ejokingorser iousit
l
eav esy ouwi tht hateagert odoi ntrospect i
on
abouty our self,whethery ouarey oungorol d.
Youknowt hedayNduandAy andaf ought,we
failedubanqandabuty oudi danexcept i
onaljob
ofsepar atingf ourmenatoncewhower eon
eachot herst hroat, wi
thoutyelli
ngorswear i
ng
youdi dsepar at eusandwhat samazi ngabout
you, y ouleftfourmanwhower ereadyt okil
l
eachot herl aughingateachot heraboutt heir
stupi dit
ies.Ezi l
ali
ni (Cofimvaba) ,noone
respect edmyf atherathomebecauseofwhat
hedi dtoust ot hef amil
ybutt hewayy ou
treatedhi m, ther espect,t
helov e,yougav ehim,
i
tl eftuswi thnochoi cebutrespecthi mt oo,you
taughtust hati nwhatev erthathedi d, heis
stillourf at
her, hemademi stakesl i
keany
humanbutl if
egoesonher ewear ewhatwe
wentt hroughaski dsmadeusst rong, that'
s
whywedeci dedt ogoonwi thy ourpr oposalof
throwi nghi m a59t hbir
thdayinNov ember"

Me:Ijumpedandscr
eamed"r
eal
l
y!!,
bhabha!
!!
Il
ookedatAyanda
Ay
andasmi
l
edandnodded

Me: "t
hankyouMtungwa,
thanky
ouNdlovu"I
ki
ssedhismouth,
wenttohugoobabomdal
aall
oft
hem.

Me:
"thanky
ouguy
s"
Mawande: "cal
m down,wedon'
twantyout
o
haveaheartatt
ackpl
ease,
weareti
redof
vi
sit
inghospi
tal
s"

Isul
ked

Mawande:"I
'
m ser
iousl
astbor
n,y
ouhav
e
t
aughtussomuch"
Me:
"st
opi
tbabomdal
a,y
ouwi
l
lmakemecr
y,
Idon'
twannacr
yI'
m st
il
lhappy
,"

Ndumi
e:"y
ouar
ecr
yingal
readynj
elast
bor
n"
Me: "it
sbecauseofyounje.Icanseeblessi
ng
comingdowny ourwayal
ready, j
ustsay
bl
essingsr
eceived"

Ndumi
e:"youcanbeal
i
ttl
edr
amaqueen
somet
imes"

Me: "I
'm notadr
amaqueenbabomdal
ajusta
Rhadebe,doyouknowwhatdoest
hatmean?"

Ndumi
e:"ar
eyougoi
ngt
otel
lus"
Me:
"I'
mful
lofl
i
fe"
Mawande:
"ar
eyou?"
Me: "i
fI'
m not
,whyal
lKhumal
ost hatIseer
it
e
her
eareallhav
ingt
ear
yeyes,exceptfor
mhwaaaofcourseaRhadebe"

Theyal
ltouchedt
hei
rey
es

Me:
"nchoooo,
arey
ouguy
scr
ying?"

Ayanda:"heywenabhabha,
amadoda
awakhal
i(mendon'tcr
y)
Me:"hhabe,i
sthereanyt
hingyouwannatel
l
meaboutyoubecauseyouareall
cry
ing"
Ay
anda:
"heywenabhabha,
asi
zont
angazakho
,

Igi
ggl
ed
Ayanda:
"comeher
e"heki
ssedmyt
ear
sIwas
cr
yingmysel
fmf
xmm

Ndumi e:"onaseri
ousnot elast
bornyouare
oneinami ll
i
onandI'm sureevenifweallcan
dieourkidswil
lnev
ersufferukhona.Thankyou
forevery
thi
ng"
Me:
"what
'supwi
thy
ouguy
s,ni
ndi
bhungi
l
e?"

Msi
ra:
"wej
ustl
ovey
oul
astbor
n"
Me"Ilov
eyoutooguy
s,butnotasmuchasI
l
ovebabakaPaddl
epop"
Msi
ra:
"yhaal
ast
bor
nwhodoesn'
tknowt
hat"

Weal
ll
aughed

~1mont
hlat
er~
Totianddadwerephoningdail
y,talki
ngabout
tr
ait
ors,t
heyweren'
tfoningdai
lyeversinceI
gotmarri
edbutnowt heywerefoningdaily
.

Onemor ning, t
heguy swerei nthedi nningroon
,Yandahadgi venPaddlepopherbat handIf ed
heralr
eady, shewasi nthecotki ckingGod
knowswhat .Iwasdonebat hingsoIwentt o
herandpl ayedwi thhercheeks, shewas
l
ookingatmebutf unnypartbengabonakal i
ngathiyandibona.Imov edmyf ingercl oserto
hereyes, nixshedi dn'
tbli
nkatal l,
hay ibo!
!I
movedmyhandacr ossherf ace, ni
x.Ir an
downstairs.

Me:bhabha!
!Isai
dthatt
ryi
ngt
ocat
cha
br
eat
h
Ay
anda:
Inganat
hi,
howmanyt
imesmustIt
ell
younottor
uninthehousemor
eespeci
all
ythe
stai
rs,
whatify
oufall
"

Me:
"Paddl
epopbhabha!
!!

Hecamer
ushi
ng,
oobabomdal
ast
oodupt
oo

Ay
anda:
"whati
sit,
issheok?
Me:
---
--
-

Ayanda:"whatisi
tInganat
hi?Hesai
dthat
taki
ngtwostai
rs"
Me:
"shei
sbl
i
ndbhabha,
ourbabyi
sbl
i
nd"

Ay
anda:
"hee?
??
Iexpl
ainedt
othem ,
whyIsai
dthat,
theyal
l
l
aughed

Me:
"whyar
eyoul
aughi
ng,
mychi
l
disbl
i
nd"
Ndumie:"y
esakaboni
clear
ly,
butshei
snot
bl
indl
ast
born"

Me:
"how?Casherey
esar
ewi
deopen"
Ndumie:cal
m down, yeshereyesar
ewi de
openbutshedoesn'
tseeanythi
ngthat'
s
moving,i
twil
ltakesomemont hsinor
derfor
hert
osee"

Me:
"Idon'
tunder
standbabomdal
a"
Ndumie:"somebabiesstar
ttoseemovi
ng
obj
ectaf
ter4monthsothersaft
er5mont
hs
somesoonerthant
hat"
Me:
"mf
xmm ,
whydi
dn'
tyout
ell
met
hen"
Ndumi
e:"y
oudi
dn'
taskl
ast
bor
n"

Theywer esti
l
llaughi
ngmfxmm men, honest
ly
howwasIsupposet oknowthat.
..
..shewas
myf i
rstchi
ldandzangengahlal
anengane
encaneinmyl i
fe.

Msi
ra:
"don'
twor
ryl
ast
bor
n,t
hisi
showwe
l
ear
n"
Me:
"di
dyouhav
etol
aught
hough"

Msir
a:"i
tthewayyouwer
e,itwasli
keyour
ey
esweregoingt
ocomeout,fornot
hing"
Me:
"mf
xmm"
Mawande:
"zabast
rongol
astbor
n.

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
00:
48]Mca:
INSERT159

~3mont
hsl
ater~

Paddlepopwasgr owing, shewast hecutest

thi
ngIev erseen, shewasadaddyanduncl es
l
ittl
eAngel asformel et'
sjustsayIwassonot
herfavourateperson.Iwasherl astopti
on,I
tri
edmyl evelbestbutwedi dn'
tcl
ickthatmuch
neangel yam butwhatIl ovedthemostAy anda
reall
ylovedherdaught er,shewasev eryt
hingto
herdad.

Oneni
ghtwewereget
ti
ngreadyt
osl
eep,ohh
wehaven'
tmadel
oveyet,
Iwasnotr
eadyand
Yandadi
dn'
tpressuri
zeme, wewoul dgive
eachot
hersomuchpl easurebutpenetr
ati
onI
wassonotreadyfori
t.Givi
ngbirthtoPaddl
e
popmademescar edofmaki nglove.

Me: "bhabha,accor
dingtomymat er
nit
yleav
e
I
'm goi
ngbackt oworkbeginni
ngofMarch
whichisnextmonth"
Ay
anda: "Iknowbhabhaanddon'
twor
rywe
wi
llbef
ine"

Me:
"IdoubtIwantt
ogoback"
Ay
anda:
"why?,
isi
tbecauseofPaddl
epop?"

Me: "y
haYandaandy
oudon'
twantust
ohi
rea
nanny"
Ayanda:"bhabha,y
ouwill
reportf
orwork
begi
nningofMarch,Iwi
l
lbefineanywaywho
l
ooksaft
erPaddl
epopnow, andshedoesn'
t
evennot
icenamawungekho"
Me: "IknowYandabuti tdoesn'
tfeelri
ghtfor
metogot oworkandl eavemyhusbandt olook
af
terourchil
d,peoplewillt
hinkI
'ml eadi
ngy ou
wi
thy ournoseorIhavegivenyoulov eport
ion"
Ayanda:"y
ougav
emel
ovepor
ti
onv
ele"he
l
aughed

Me: "ahhYanda"Ihithi
schestplay
fulandI
tur
nedandhecuddl edmef r
om behind"but
honestl
yYandaitdoesn'
tfeelgood"

Ayanda:"bhabhai
fIwaswor
kingandyouwere
notworki
ng,youweregoi
ngt
odot hesame,
ri
ght?
Me:"Iknowbhabhabutreal
l
yIdon'
tmind
t
aki
nganunpaidleav
e,Idon'
tmindsacr
if
ici
ng
myj
obf
ormyf
ami
l
y"

Ayanda: "hay
iInga,
Iknowhowmuchy oul
ove
yourjobandIwon'tall
owyout
odothat,Iwi
ll
takecareofPaddlepop"
Me:"thi
sti
meI'
m nottakingnoforananswer
l
ovebythewayIwasthinkingofr
esi
gni
ng"

Ay
anda:
"whybhabha?
Me:"Iwannarai
sedmyki
dsfi
rstYandathen
whent
heystar
tschool
i
ngIwi
l
lgobackt owork
"

Ay
anda:
"ki
ds!
!!di
dIheary
ousayki
ds"
Me:
Ismi
l
ed"y
esbhabha,
ourki
ds"

Ay
anda:
hesqueezedmet
it
e"t
hansbhabha
butyouwil
lgetbor
edandIdon'
twantyouto
bl
amemeast i
megoesbyyoucanhavekids
whil
eworki
ngifit
sget
ti
ngtoughformethen
wecangetasomeonet ohel
pus"

Me:"Iwil
lconti
nuewithmyst udi
esinthe
meanti
meandal r
eadyI'
mi nmyf i
nal
y earofmy
BTechandwear einoursecondyearofour
degr
eesoIwill
seewhatt odonext"
Ayanda:"Ist
il
lcan'
tbel
i
eveI
'
m doi
ngmy
secondy
ear"hesmi l
ed.

It
urnedandki
ssedhi
scheek

Me:
"I'
m sopr
oudofy
ouYandaandl
ovey
ou"
Ay
anda:
"thandanam sweet
cheeks"
Wesl
ept

Fol
lowi
ngday,IwokeupandAy andawas
awakeal
ready,
wet ookashowertoget
her

Ay
anda:
"wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
"
Me: "t
oCputbhabha,Ihav
efewthingsI
wannasor
tandIwill
alsogotowork"

Ayanda:"wai
tforust
hensot
hatwewi
l
lgo
toget
her"
Me:nhabhabhaPaddl
epopisst
il
lsl
eepi
ng,
let
megothenwecangoouttoget
her"

Ay
anda:
"ok,
don'
tbet
ool
ong"
Me:
"Iwon'
t"
Igotreadyandl ef
t,Iwentt oCputdidwhatI
wenttodoandl ef
t.Onmywayt oworkIhada
tyr
epuncture, GREAT! !
!!
!,oneofthereasonsI
l
ov emycary ounev ergowr ongwithapuncture
evenifyoudoy oucanst il
ltrav
elsomekmsbut
IwasusingoneofYanda' scaranditwasnot
j
ustapunct urebeli
dlabhukil
enje.Mfxmm.
whatdoIknowaboutchangi ngatyrecasI
neverchangedone.It ookmyf oneandcal l
ed
Yanda.

Ay
anda:
"mamakaUbenat
hi"
Me:
"bhabha,
Ihav
eat
yrepunct
ure"

Ayanda:"gi
vemef
ewmi
nut
es,
I'
m st
il
lbat
hing
Paddlepop"
Me:
"ok,
Iam at
..
."
Ayanda:"Iknowbhabha,pleasest
ayinsi
de
thecarandlockt
hedoors,Iwill
bether
e
short
ly"

Idroppedthecal l
,real
l
yYanda, Iwasinfree
way, Igotoutofthecarandwentt ocheckthe
tyr
e.Ihadnot hingtodobuttowai tf
orYanda.
AsilverJeepwentpassmeandi trever
sed.I
wasst i
llst
andingoutsi
de,atall
guygotoutof
i
t,hewaswear ingaguessjeanandabl ueand
whitestri
pespoloshirt
,hecamet ome.

Guy:
"Nkosazana(Pr
incess)"
Me:
"hi
"

Guy:
"howar
eyou?"
Me:
"I'
mfi
net
hanxandy
ou?"
Guy:"fi
ne,whatcouldpossi
blemakesa
beaut
if
ulbabesl
ikeyoustandint
hemiddl
eofa
fr
eeway"
Me:Ismi
l
ed"t
yrepunct
ure"

Guy:"thatmakessense,
doy
ouhav
easpar
e
wheelandjack?
"

Ishr
uggedmyshoul
der
s

Guy:
"whosecari
sthi
skant
i?"
Me:
"it
smi
ne"

Guy: "butyouneverchangeat y
renorcheckif
youdohav easparewheel ,don'
twor r
ymyl i
tt
le
sist
erisli
keyou.Shewillcal
lmeev eryt
imeshe
hasat yr
epuncturesomet i
messhef orget
sthat
I
'
m her
einCapeTownnownoti
nKZN"

Ismi
l
ed

Guy:"byt
hewayI
'
m ThembaMazwane"he
st
ret
chedhi
sar
m
Me:
"Inganat
hiKhumal
o"

Themba: "l
etmechecki
fyouhav
eit,
sot
hatI
canchangeitf
ory
ou"
Me:
"noMrMazwaneI
'
m w.
..
"

Themba:
"Teepl
ease"
Me:
"ohhh,
Tee,
I'
mfi
ne,
Iwi
l
lbef
inemyh.
."

Themba:
"pl
easeputt
hisi
nmycarandopen
thebootf orme,there'sanor angeover
allthere
bri
ngi tforme"hesai dthatt aki
ngoutthespare
wheel, Itookhisshirt,hi
sbody ,
his6packf r
om
adistancey oucouldseehewasoneoft hose
guyswhowi ll
neverletadaygoesbywi thout
goingt ot hegym.Ibr oughtitandhewor eit
overhisj ean,qui
ck, quick, hechangeditand
hewasdone.Igav ehi m wipest ocl
eanhis
hands, hetookoffhisov erallandworehisshirt
again.

Me:
"thanky
ousomuchmyMazwane"
Themba:"Teepleaseandpleasur
e.Idon'
t
meantodisr
espectyoubutareyoucall
abl
e?"

Me:
"no"
Themba:"why"hesmi
l
edandr
aisedhi
s
eyebr
ows
Ishowedhi
m myr
ing

Themba:
"ohhh,
myl
ossbutasaf
ri
endpl
ease
"
Me: "nharat
heryougivemeyournumber,he
wenttotakehisbusi
nesscar
d,Itooki
t.I
smil
ed

Me:
"soy
ouar
eadoct
or"
Themba:"gui
lt
yaschar
ged,youhav
ea
beaut
if
ulsmi
leander
oti
ceyes"

Ibl
ushed

Me:
"Iknow"
Themba:
hesmi
l
edback,
aseduct
iveone"
howdoy
ouknow?"

Me:
"myhusbandhast
oldmeami
l
li
ont
imes"
Themba:
"heydon'
tdot
hat"

Me:
"dowhat
?"
Themba:"ki
ckaguywhi
leheisdownal
ready,
I
'mtry
ingt
ocharmyouhere"

Me: "i
twon'
tworkMrMazwane,onlymy
handsomehusbandwhohasakeytothatdoor
"
Themba: "Ihav
enoticed,heisoneluckydude,
l
etmet akemyleave, I
'
m stil
lonmywayt o
work,areyousureyouwillbefi
nenow"

Me:
"Iwi
l
l,myhusbandwi
l
lbeher
einany
mi
nut
e,t
hankagai
nTee"
Themba:
"pl
easur
e,pl
easeuset
hosenumber
s
"

Me:
"Iwi
l
ltr
y"
Themba:
"pl
ease"

Me:"ok"hewinkedandgoti
ntohi
scar,
he
hoot
edtwi
ceandleft
.

Fewmi nut
eslaterYanda'
scarpar
kedacross
theroad.Hegotof fandwenttoPaddlepop's
side.Icrossedtheroadandwenttohim.I
kissedhismout handpull
edmeclosertohim
holdingmywai standwekissedalongone.

Ay
anda:
"Imi
ssedy
ou"
Me:
"youar
esuchababy"

Ay
anda:
"heywenabhabha"

Igi
ggl
ed

Ayanda:"y
ouwil
llookaf
terPaddl
epopwhi
l
eI
changey
ourty
re.
Me:
"noneedbhabha,
all
done"

Ay
anda:
"whatdoy
oumean?"
Me: "someguyhel
pedme,
hechangedi
t
bhabha"

Ayanda:heclenchedhisf i
st"youmustbe
fuckenj
oki
ngInganathi,youletsomer andom
guychangeyourtyr
e, ar
ey oucrazy!,
whatdidI
saytoy
ou?
"Hespokebet
weenhi
scl
enched
teet
h

Me:"bhabha,
Itri
edt
otel
lhi
mthaty
ouwer
e
comi
ngbuthe...
"
Ayanda:"didIsayIcan'
tchangey
ourt
yre
I
nganathi"

Me:
"nobhabha"
Ay anda: "Isowi shy oucanst opbei ngso
trustingInganathi,I'
m notsay i
ngr unawayor
nev eraccepthel pfrom ot herpeopl ebut
UNGUMFAZIWEGI NSAI NGANATHI !!
!,why
don' tyougetthat, Ihav emor eener miest han
fri
endsandy ouwon' tknowt henextper sonyou
meetwi th,i
fhei snotmyener my .Youar eso
naïvey eseees!!,can'tyouf oroncel ist
ent oa
simpl einstr
uctionmf xmmm" .Hecr ossedt he
roadandcheckedmyt yre,uAy andawashest il
l
athugorwhat?Heoncesai d'
onceat hug
al
way sathug'
,andther
ehesaid'ungumfazi
weginsa'
thatl
eftmewithunanswered
questi
ons.Hecameback.

Ay
anda:
"gobackt
oyourcar"
Me:
"kanj
alonj
e."(Justl
i
ket
hat)

Ay
anda:
"I'
m wai
ti
ngf
ory
ouI
nganat
hi"
Me:"I
'
m st
il
lgoi
ngt
owor
k,Iwi
l
lseey
ouat
homet
hen"

Ay
anda:
"sur
e"

Icrossedtheroadgotinmycar,Ihoot
edand
droveoffAyandadroveoffnay
e.
I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
00:
49]Mca:
INSERT160

Idr
ovetoworkandwenttoTshego, Iaskedher
i
fIcoul
dseeMrMt ibutshesaidhewasbusy
andhewil
lbeavai
labl
eafteranhour
.

Me: "it
sokIwil
lfoneandmakean
appoint
ment"
Tshego:
"ok"

Iwaswal
ki
ngtot
heent
rancewhenIhear
dMel
z
cal
l
ingmyname

Mel
z:"Pr
inzessi
n"

It
urned
Me:
"hey"
Melz:
"soyouwereleav
ingwit
houtsay
ing
hel
l
owt oy
ourhandsomeboss"

Me: "Iwastol
dyouwerebusysoIdi
dn'
t
wannadist
urbyouandwhosaidyouar
e
handsome"
Mel
z:"myl
ovel
yMsRhadebewhoel
se"

Me: "i
fIdidn'
tknowy
ou,Iwoul
dsayy
ouar
e
f
li
rt
ingwithmeMrMt i"
Mel
z:"whati
fIam "

Ismi
l
ed,
hecamet
omeandweshar
edahug.

Mel
z:"Iwasonmywayt
omyl
unch,
sopl
ease
j
oinme"
Me:"bytheway,I
'
m heretoseeyou,
ther
eis
somet
hingIwantt
odiscusswit
hyou"

Mel
z:"l
et'
sgot
omyof
fi
cet
henIwi
l
lor
deri
n"
Me:
"ok"

Wewal
kedt
ohi
sof
fi
ce

Mel
z:"ar
ey ousur
eyour
eal
l
ygav
ebi
rt
h4
mont
hsback?"
Me:
"yeswhy
?

Ay
anda:
"youl
ooksosexyasev
er"
Me: "don'
tmockme, youaret
alki
ngt
oand
aboutumdlez
ane(awomanwi t
hasmallchi
l
d/
awomanwhor ecent
lygav
ebir
th)
Mel
z:"y
ouwi
l
lnott
ell
"
Me:
"Iwi
l
ltaket
hatasacompl
ement"

Mel
z:"anywayhowi
sthel
i
ttl
ePr
izessi
n"
Me:
"shei
sgr
owi
ngdai
l
y"

Mel
z:"whenwi
l
luncl
ePopi
get
stoseeher"
Me:
"soon"

Melz:
"letmegetanot
herhug"wehugged,he
hel
dmet i
tef
oralongt
ime, Icl
ear
edmythr
oat

Mel
z:"I
'
m sor
ry"
Me:
"it
sok"
Melz:"pleaset akeaseat"hesatopposi teme,
heorderedandwehadl unchwhiletalking
abouttheissueIwentt oseehimf or.Anyway
hesharedsamesent i
ment sasYanda, he
convi
ncedmenott oresignednortakean
unpai
dl eave.Heassur edmet hatifIfeelli
ke
ext
endingmyl eaveI'
m wel comedmyj obwas
safehewi l
lseewhathecando.

It
hankedhi m andhewal kedmet othepar ki
ng
l
ot.Idrov
eof f
.Ay andaandhi sdaughterwere
sl
eepingItookmyshoesof fandjoinedthem.
Wewokeupanhourl at
erinfactAyandawoke
meup.

Ay
anda:
"bhabha,
whendi
dyouar
ri
ve?"
Me:
"anhouragoIguess"
Ay
anda:
"whydi
dn'
tyouwakeme"
Me: "nha,
aft
ert
hewayyouwere,
Idi
dn'
t
wannasteponyourt
oesagai
n"

Ay anda: "I'm sor rybhabhaf orshout i

ngy ou,its
j
ustt hat, youar et oocar elessandhonest l
yI
don'twanty out of eel l
ikeI '
m cont roll
ingy ou
butdr iv
ingal onei tsnotagoodi deacasy ouar e
reall
ycar elessi naccept i
nghel pfrom peopl e
youdon' tknow, i
tdr i
vesmecr azy, Imeani t
bhabha, Istil
l hav eplentyofener mi esoutt here
, whati fy ouar ebei ngabduct ed,whati fthey
rapey ou, howwoul dIlivewi t
ht hatknowi ng
exact l
yy ouwer eliv i
ngasi mpl el i
feunt ilIcame
andcompl icat eit.I'm sti
lltr
y i
ngt ocomei nto
termswi tht hef actt hatwel ostOv ay ot hrough
myener my, notev enasi ngledaygoesby
withoutt hinki ngabouti t,i
tseat i
ngmeupi nside
thef actt hatIdon' ttalkabouti tdoesn' tmeanI
hav ecamei ntot er mswi thit".
InawayIsowi shedIcoul dunder standwher e
Yandawascomi ngfrom butasf ormeIr eal
ly
tookitli
ghtl
y,may beIwasr eall
ynaï vebutI
neversteppedi nanyone'stoe, Ididn'thave
enermiessoIdi dn'tknowhowt oliveal i
fe
wherey ouwer etolookov eryourshoul dereach
andev erysecond.Tomepeopl eIcal ledmy
famil
y, myf r
iendIt r
ustedthem wi t
hal lmy
beingbutasf orAy anda.Hedidn'tev entrusthi
s
ownbl ooditmakessensei fhewi llbeso
cauti
ousofot herpeopl e.

Me:
"Iheary
ouandI
'
m sor
ry"

Ayanda:"noyoudon'
thaveto,
I'
mtheonewho
supposetobeapol
ogi
zing"
Me:
"int
hatcaseapol
ogynotaccept
ed
Hecamecl
osert
ome

Ay
anda:
"whatwer
eyousay
ing

Bef or
eIcoul danswerhesmashedhi smout h
onmi neandwest artedkissingeachot her,he
wasont opofme, hishandswentst raight
downt oMar hadebe.Icoul dfeelhergoingwet
i
nst antl
y.Hesl i
dhi sfingerandImoaned.He
tooki toutandl i
ckedi t.Hiseyeswer ealmost
closed, hewentdownagai nandsl i
dt wo
fi
nger s,ISAW JERUSALEM wi ththosegol d
streets.Imoanedl ouderhhabephel aitsbeen
mont hsengaser viswa(wi thoutbeingser vi
ced)
uMar hadebe.Isli
dmyhandi nYanda' sboxer
andt ookof fhisboxer suMt ungwawasr eady
foract i
onhepoppedout .IrodeYanda' sfinger
s
Ireall
yneededhi m.
Hecarri
edmetothecouchcasPaddlepopwas
i
nbedt oo.Het
ookoffmydress,myundies
anduncli
ppedmybra.Hemademel ieonmy
back.Hewasabouttoent
erbutIst
oppedhim.

Me:
"condom Yanda"
Ayanda: "nobhabha,
itsst
il
lsoony
ouwon'
t
getpregnant

Me:
"noYanda"

Iwassonotgoingtotakechancescas
def
ini
tel
yei
theroneofusorbothofus
was/weret
oofert
il
e.

Het
urnedngo180andt
ooacondom f
rom t
he
dr
awerhetear
edi
twi
thhi
smout
handsl
i
dint
o
Mtungwa.

Ayanda:"Iwi
llbegent
lerel
axbhabha, y
ouare
sotense"Ir
elaxedabi
theent ered,
Idugmy
fi
ngersonhi
sbackhetrieduntil
hewasin,alet
amoanescapedmymout h,hedidn'
tmove.

Ay
anda:
"lookatme"

Il
ookathi
m

Ayanda:"ndi
yabul
ela(t
hanky
ou)mamaka
Ubenat
hi"
Me:
"forwhat?"

Ay
anda:
"forl
ovi
ngmeandf
orUbenat
hi"
Me:
"pl
easu.
..
"

Hest
artedmov i
ng,Godhevisi
tedall
therooms
ev
enthosethatwerestar
ti
ngtoclose,hehit
myG-spotseveral
l
ytimes.

Ay
anda:
"openupf
ormebhabha,
Iwanti
tal
l
"

Beshokuba, Ispreadmyl egswi

de, hhawu
i
biyekaMtungwaangi thi
?Hepaidlobola
bengayebi#hides#j ustwhenIf
eltmycl i
max
buil
dingupnicelyandMt ungwawasgr owing
bi
ggerandbi ggerinsi
deme, MsGodzi ll
a
star
tedcryi
ng

Ayanda:"shitPaddlepopunomonakodwa
(sheissojealous)
Heconti
nuedbutMi ssGodzi
ll
ascreamedl
ike
someonewaspinchingher,mychi
ldkodwa,
youwouldswearthatsheknewthathi
sdadwill
dropev
eryt
hingforher.

Ayanda:"Idon'
thav
eachoi
cebhabha"he
pul
ledoutIwantedt
oscr
eam myselfbutMi
ss
godzi
ll
awasmyhusband'sf
ir
stpriori
ty.

Hedisposedthecondom cleanedusandwor e
hi
sboxers,hewenttowashhi shandsand
pi
ckedher,theLITTLEPERVERT, shekeptqui
te
andstar
tedbabbli
ngmf xmmm i twascut ei
na
way.Ayandawouldstealsomeki ssesandthat
mademi ssGodzil
latobabblemor ehekepton
pl
ayingandkissi
nghercheeks.

Ay
anda:
"bhabhacomeher
efast"
Iwrappedat
owel
aroundmybodysi
nceIwas
st
il
lnaked"

Ay anda:"look,smi l
ePaddlepopsmi l
ef or
daddy" ,
hekeptonki ssi
ngher
,shesmi led,
trustmet hatwast hemostrewardingmoment
webot hexperiencednoYanda, ItookYanda's
foneandt ookpictures

Ay
anda:
"that
'snotal
lbhabha"
Me:
"whati
sit?"

Ay
anda:
"shehasy
ourdi
mpl
esbhabha,
look!
!"

Ismil
ed,nchoooshewassocutewaytoocut
e
thesmil
einAy anda'
sfacewaspr
icel
ess,
he
ki
ssedherdi
mpl
esandki
ssedmi
nesasIwas
smil
ingnami
.

Ay
anda:
"Il
ovey
oubabi
eszi
kaTaAy
la"
Me:
"wel
ovey
ouTaKi
l
ler"

Ay
anda:
"heywenabhabha"

Igi
ggl
ed

OnlyifIknewt hat,t
hatwast hel astdaywe
sharedbestmoment sasaf ami l
y, onlyifI
knewt hatthedancethatwentunf i
nishbecause
ofPaddlepopwast helastonet hatbr oughtus
closernoYandat hatconnectedus, t
hatkept
thechemi str
ygoingmaybeIwoul dhav easked
Godt ostopt heUniv
erse'scl ockfrom t i
cki
ng,
Iwouldhav easkedHi mtost opatt hatmoment
whenwewer emakinglovewhenYandasai d'
openupformeMar hadebe,Iwantital
l'onlyi
f
Iknew,IwouldhaveaskedGodtost opthe
cl
ockthemomentPaddl epopsmiledatus,
whenYandakissedbothourdi
mplesbuti twas
beyondmycontrol
.

ThosewhoknowDAVEKOZsongTHEDANCE
theywi
l
lunderst
and,howitmakesyoufeel
whenyouli
stentoi
tatt
ent
ivel
y,i
tgoesas

Looki
ngbackont
hememor
iesof
Thedancewe'
dshar
eunder
neat
hthest
ar
abov
e
Foramomental
lthewor
ldwasr
ight
HowcouldIhaveknowt
haty
ouwi
l
lev
ersay
goodby
e...
..
..
Iwasl eftwithallthememor i
esofl oving
Ay andat hef ir
stdayIsawhi minl ongst reet,i
n
Bellvil
le, howhecamet omyr oom atcputat
2:00am , whenwewentt oKisternbosch
bot anicgar dens,tablemount ain, f
ir
stni ghtat
hispl ace, whenhegotshot, whenIwas
i
nsul tedbyhi sEx, t
heAr abel
la,howhe
proposed.Thebi r
thdaygift,howhear ri
v edin
Kokst adathome, howIt aughthi mt oride
hor sesinMat ati
ele,hisexpressionwhenhe
sawt hescanf orSange, ourweddi ngday, our
fi
rstdanceasMrandMr sAy andaKhumal o,
whenhehel dUbenathiforthefirstti
me, theli
st
i
sendl essbuti twasal li
nmemor i
es....
..
.

[
08/
19,
00:
59]Mca:
INSERT161

Hav
eyouev
erhear
dofasayt
hatgoes"wheni
t
r
ainsi
tpour
s".
..
..

Notthatthi
ngsbetweenmeandAy andawer e
perf
ectyeswewoul df
ight,madeeachot her
cryandangrybutwewoul dnev ergotobed
angryateachother.Wetriedourlevelbestto
makeourmar ri
agewor kbutjustinabl i
nkof
oureyesthi
ngsturnedfrom honeytolemon.

Ayandast ar
tedt
ohavenight
mar es,hewould
wakeupi nthemiddl
eofthenightshakingand
sweaty.Whateverhewasdreami ngabouthe
ref
usedt otel
lmewhatwasit,butitwas
defi
nit
elynotgoodatal
l
.

Asweekspassedby ,weweredr
if
ti
ngapar
t
fr
om eachotherinawaythatwewerel
i
ke
str
anger
s,thebhabhaandYandacoupl
ewas
gone,GONEi nlesst
hanamonth.Wewereso
col
doneachot
her
.

Onenight,
samet hi
nghappened, helooked
l
ikehewasshout ingonhi sdream butIcouldn'
t
makesenseonwhathewassay i
ng.Hewas
t
urni
ngandt ossing,Ishookhim andswi tchon
t
helight
.Hestoodup, tookoffhispj'
sand
wenttowashhi sfaceandcameback, hesaton
t
hecouchandIwentt ositnexttohim.

Me: "car
etot
ell
mewhati
sbot
her
ingy
ou
bhabha"
Ay
anda:
"not
hingbhabha,
gobackt
obed"

Me: "chaAyanda,
khulumanami(no,Ay
anda,
tal
ktome)casdefini
tel
ysomethi
ngis
bother
ingyou"
Ay
anda:
"goandsl
eepI
nganat
hi"
Me: "Ayanday ouar ehavingni ght
mar es
al
mostev eryni te,youscr eami ngyourlungs
outint hosedr eam andy out elli
ngmei t s
nothing.Wel lAy andabyr efusingtotellme
whati sbotheringy ouIcant akebutthis
col
dness, t
hist r
eatmentI '
m get ti
ngfrom y ouI
can'ttakeitany mor e,Ican't,i
fy oudon' twant
meany mor etellmeAy andacasdef i
nitelymy
parentsst i
l
l wantme"

Hedi dn'
trespond,wesatther
einsi
lence.Iwas
real
lyheartbrokenbutIknewthatf
urther
questionswouldresul
tinanargumentsoIkept
quit
e.

Ay
anda:
Iwi
l
lbedownst
air
s"hesai
dsocol
dly
Me:"excuseme,
itsi
nthemi
ddl
eoft
heni
ght
Ay
anda"
Hesaidnot
hing,
heworehi
ssl
i
pper
sandgown
andexi
tedt
hebedroom.

Somet hingwasr eall

yeat i
ngAy andabuthe
refusedt otalktome, Idecidedt ol ethim have
hisspacecasdef i
nit
elyheneededi tandIwas
sonotneeded.Iswi t
chedont het v, tell
ingyou
thet r
ut hIwasnotev enwat chingi t,itwas
ratherwat chi
ngme.Af t
er4am Ideci dedt ogo
andcheckonmyhusbanddownst ai rs.He
wasn' tintheloungenei therintheki tchensoI
wentt ot hebar,theshockIhad, Ay andawas
dri
nking, t
ell
mewhoget stodr i
nkat4am kant i
hei sok.Hehadabot t
leofBr acasowhi chit
wasal mostfini
shed.Iwentt osi tnextt ohim.

Me: "bhabha,kwenzakal
ani
kant
i)(whati
s
goi
ngonr eal
ly
?)
Ay
anda:
"not
hing"
Me:"sonowwemustj
ustpr
etendasi
f
ev
ery
thi
ngisok"
Ayanda:
"whatdoy
ouwantf
rom meI
nganat
hi
!!
"

Me: "don'
tshoutmeAy anda,I'
mj ustworr
ied
aboutyou,
can'tyousee?,f
orthepastfew
weeksally
oudoi stodri
nk, dr
inkanddrink"

Ay
anda:"Isai
dit
snot
hing,
STOPNAGGI
NG
MAARN!
!!
"

Hest oodupandleftthebart ot
helounge.I
couldfeelahugehorribl
elumpf or
mi nmy
thr
oatandt hebet
rayal f
lav
ourofsalti
nmy
mout hbutIwasn'
tgoingt ocry,DamnAy andaI
wasn'tgoi
ngt ocr
y.Yes, Ayandamighthavemy
heart
,allt
herealpower-economicandsocial
powerwhi chcamewithhisthug/taxiowner/
entr
epreneurti
tl
ebutIhadpowertoo.Ihad
powertolivemylif
ethewayIwant edtowith
outmisery,painandwit
houtheart
break.

Ifoll
owedhi m.Hef l
oppedont hecouchandI
satinaonesi t
tercouchopposi t
ehim.What
pissedmeof fthepainwaswr itt
eninhi sface
ashel ookedatmebuthewoul dn'tt
alk.Ir eal
l
y
l
ov edmyhusbandwi thallofmyhear t.Despi t
e
thet r
eatmenthegav emeIst illl
ovedhi m, I
knewheneededme.Ihadn' tstoppedlov i
nghim.
Lov eisnotsomethingy oucouldjustturnon
andof fli
keatapwat er.Iwantedt otakehi m
i
nt omyar msandt ellhi
mt hatwhatev erthat
wasbot heri
nghim, itwasgoi ngtobeok.I
want edhimtolosehi spaininthegloriousof
myar msandwar mth.
Me:
"let
'sgoandsl
eep"
Ay
anda:
"goandsl
eepI
nganat
hi!
"

Me:
"butbhabhay
oud.
..
l
Ay
anda:
"HEYFOKOFI
NGANATHI!
!"

Aft
ert hatIdecidedt okeepmymout hshut, I
watchedmyhusbanddr owninghissor rowsi na
bott
le, al
lIcoulddowast ocrysil
ent l
y.After
somet imehef ellasleepholdinghisbot tl
elike
hi
sPaddl epop.Ist oodupandwentt othe
sparebedr oom ,It ookablanketandapi ll
ow.I
Wentbackt othel ounge, t
ookt hebot t
lefrom
hi
m, Imadehi m sl eepcomf ort
ableont he
couch.Itookof fhi ssli
ppersandputabl anket.I
ki
ssedhi scheek, switchedoffthelightand
wentupst air
s.Ifi
r stcheckedPaddl epopwho
wassl eepingpeacef ull
yinhercott hengoti n
bed.
Iwokeupf oll
owingday,Paddlepopwasst il
l
sl
eeping.Itookashower, gotdr
essedand
wentdownst ai
rs.WhenIgotther
eAy andawas
al
readyawakel ooki
ngdown.Igreetedhim and
hegreetedback.Imadehim astrongblack
coff
eeandgav ehim.

Me:"her
e,t
hiswi
l
lhel
p,Iwi
l
lpr
epar
e
br
eakf
ast
"
Ay
anda:
"thanksmf
azi
wam"

Youhavenoi deahowmuchImi ssedmy

husband,it
sbeenweeks, wewerestay i
ngin
onehousebuti twashar dforustoev ensharea
hug,akiss,l
etaloneadecentsmal l
talk.Ir
eall
y
missedAyanda' shugs,kissesandsitti
ngon
hi
slapbutthatwasal l
inthepast.Iturned
headi
ngtotheki tchen.
Ayanda:
"bhabha,
thansf
ort
hebl
anketand
pi
l
low"
Me:
"it
sok"

Istart
edwi thbreakf
ast,whenIwasdoneIset
thetable.Wesati nsi
lentwhi
leeat
ing.Af
terwe
wer edoneIclearedthetabl
eandpackedthe
dishesont hedishwasher.

Ayanda:"Iwi
l
lgoandbat
hPaddl
epop,
I'
m
sureshei
sawakenow"
Me:
"ar
eyougoi
ngt
obeok"

Ay
anda:
"whatdoy
oumean?
"
Me: "don'
tgetmewrongbutyouhavebeen
dr
inkinghal
ftheni
ghtawaybhabha"
Ay
anda:
"sowher
edoy
ouent
er?"

Me: "nowhereYandabutasfarasUbenat
hii
s
concerned,
Ient
erever
ywhere"

Ayanda:"sowhydon'
tyouf
uckenbat
hherMr
s
do-good"

If
eltt
ear
spushi
ngt
hei
rwayoutofmyey
es.

Me: "YandaIwasj
ustaski
ng,
whyar
eyouso
bi
tt
er"
Ayanda:"becauseyouarealwaysinmyf
ucken
assI'
m notachil
dInganathi,NOTYOURDAMN
CHILDyerr"hewentupstair
s.

Igaspeddeep,
Icont
inuedwi
thwhatIwas
doi
ng,aftersomet i
mehecamedowncar ry
ing
Ubenat
hi.Hewasdonebat hingher, hewas
donebathingtoo.Ubenathi
wassucki ngher
twofi
ngerslikenobody'sbusiness.Iknewonce
mychil
dst artssucki
nghertwof i
ngerssheis
hungr
y.Isatdownandf edherwhenIwasdone
Yandaburpedher .

Ayandawoul dspendthewholedaywithhis
Paddl epopbutasf ormeitwasadi f
ferent
story, wekeptdrif
ti
ngdai
ly,youknow
may iqalaint
oy ougetwor
riedbutastimegoes
ony ougetusedt oitsoevenmy sel
fIgotused
tothesi tuat
ion.

I
twasont he27t
hFebruar
y,our2nd
Anni
versar
y,wewerenotgoinganywher
esi
nce
Paddl
epopwasst i
l
lyoungandwiththeway
thingswer ebet
weenmeandAy anda,wedi
dn't
planany thi
ngbutIdeci
dedt odoasmal l-
any anadinnerf
or2andl uckyenough
babomdal awasnotworkingsohedi dn'
tmind
baby si
tt
ingherBloomie(from Bloom ~a
fl
ower )that'
showhecallsPaddlepop)

Ndumi ehadanappoi ntmentwi t

hUv est
proper
ties,hewasgoi ngtov i
ewahousesi nce
hewasst il
lhuntingforone.SoIaskedhi mt o
takeAyandawi thsot hatIcouldstartpr
epar i
ng
forourdinner.Ididn'
twannausemycarnorany
ofAyanda' scast heyallhadtracker
s.Ndumi e
l
entmehi scar,theytookPaddl epopwi th,
whichmeantl esshassl esformyshoppi ng.

Iwentt
ocanalwalkboughtal
ongtull
e
st
rapl
essneckl
iner
eddressfr
om st
uttarfor
d,a
bl
ackhighheel
.Ihadunusedimper
ialtopaz
earingandneckl acethatYandaboughtmesoI
wassor t
ed.Ithenwentt oLasenzaandbought
l
inger i
a, Iboughtal
lthestuf
fIneededf orbot
h
ourdi nnerandourbedr oom pi
cnic.Iwasnot
goingt ocook, Iwasgoi ngt
oor deri
nsinceI
didn'twantAy andatosuspectany t
hing.

Ever
ythi
ngwasreadyint
hestudywhereour
di
nnerwasgoi
ngt obe.Iwassati
sfi
edthenI
l
ockedit
.

OoNdumi camebackar ound5pm , Ireall

y
wantedtosurpr
isemyhusbandt heonl yt hing
thatwaslef
twast osetthebedroom pi cnic.I
wasstil
lthi
nki
ngofawayofget ti
ngAy andaout
ofthehouseagainwithoutsuspectingany t
hing
butherescuedme.

Ay
anda:
"Ineedt
ogosomewher
ebhabhaIwi
l
l
bebacksoon"
Me:
"ok"

Heki
ssedmycheekandl eft,
Iwasleftwit
h
Ndumie,af
tert
hedeli
verguyafi
ki
lehetookhi
s
f
ood.IfedPaddlepopandhebathedher.

Aft
er7It ookabat
hsetthebedr
oom nicel
y.I
gotdressedandwentdownst
air
s.Babomdala
whist
le

Ndumie:"youdidn'tt
ell
mey ouwer
egoingto
bethi
sbeauti
ful
ot her
wisei
fIknewIwasn'
t
goi
ngtohelpyou"
Me:"don'
tbej
eal
oushey,
youhav
ePaddl
e
pop"
Ndumie:"andr
eal
lyIhavemyangel
,heki
ssed
hersi
ncehewascarr
yingher"

Me:
"soi
tsset
tl
ed"
Ndumi
e:"y
our
eal
l
yar
ebeaut
if
ulbhabha"

Me:
"letAy
andaheary
ousayt
hat"

Webot
hlaughed

Ndumi
e: "ni
telast
born,enj
oybutdon'
tov
erdo
i
tanddon'tf
orgetI
'm ol
dert
hanyouandI'
m
ar
ound"

Igi
ggl
ed
Me:
"ni
tebabomdal
a"

Iwenttositi
nthel
oungeandwai
tedf
ormy
husband.

Iwaited,wai t
edandwai t
edandt herewasno
si
gnofAy anda, Imighthav efallenasl eepcas
whenIwokeup, Ayandawasst i
llnott her
e, I
checkedmyf onei twasaf ter12, ther ewasst i
ll
nosignofmyhusbandonourAnni versary
i
nfactitwasnol ongerourAnni versar ybecause
i
twasal readyt he28t hofFebr uary ,
Iphoned
hi
mi trang, rangandr ang.IthinkIphoned3
ti
mest het hi
rdt i
mei twasdr opped, Idial
ed
againhepi ckedupont he5thring

Voi
ce:
"Ay
anda'
sfonehel
l
ow.
..
"
Me:
"hel
l
ow?
?"
Voi
ce:
"uf
unani
?(Whatdoy
ouwant)

Idr
oppedthecall,
Isatther
ei ndi
sbel
ief,Itri
ed
tophonehi
m againbutIcoul
dn'thol
dmyf oneI
wastrembl
ing,howcouldAy andadothatto
me,myownYanda. .
..

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
00:
59]Mca:
INSERT162

Isatthereemot i
onless, justtrembl
ing,Itri
ed
tocalm my sel
funtilIwascal m.Thecal lj
ust
broughtbacktheol denday sofmyt eenhoodin
tert
iar
ywher eIwasst i
llwithMuso.Thosewho
readmydi aryfr
om i nsert1-160wi ll
understandhowdi dIf eelwhensomegi rl
(Phindil
e)answer edMuso' sphone.Tot el
l
youagai nIwassodi sappointed,f
eltbet
rayed
byMusobutwithAy
andaifIsayIwas
di
sappoi
ntedt
hatwil
lbeanunderst
atementI
wasDEVASTATED

Haveyouev erbeeninasi t
uati
onwherebyy ou
weredisappoint
edbyt hepersonyounever
t
houghtshe/hewoul d,bysomeoney ou
t
rustedwithallyourheart
.IlovedAyanda,
t
rustedmyhusband, hewasmybet ahalfbut
whatdidIget.

Istoodup, switchedoffthetv,l
ightsandwent
upstai
rs.Tearswer estr
eami ngdownmy
cheeks, myhear twasbleeding,Iwassoheart
brokenninani.Igotint
othebedr oom.Idi
dn'
t
havestrengthtosleepalone.Ifl
oppedonthe
couchandcr ieduncontroll
able,Icr
iedupunt
ilI
fel
tthelumpwasgone.WhenmydadandTot i
tol
dmeIwasst il
lyoungtogetmar ri
edI
thoughttheywer
ejustconcerntheydidn'
ttel
l
met hatonedayIwil
lsleepalone,whi
lemy
husbandwasbusyent ertai
ninganother
woman.

Itr
iedsomucht osleepbutIcoul dn'
t,wehad2
assignment sthatwer eduet hefoll
owingweek
soIwashedmyf ace, Ididn'tbot
herchanging
mydr essIwentt ot hestudyandbur i
edmy sel
f
i
nourschool wor k.Iworkedsohar d,typedup
toapoi ntwher eIcouldn'
tf eelmyfingers,t
hey
werenumbbutIwassohappycasIwasdone
wit
hourf i
rstassignments.

Beinl
ove,getmarriedandseet hi
ngsyouwil
l
dointhenameofl ove.Yandawasoutthere,
whoknowsdoi ngwhatwi t
hwhobuther eIwas
doi
nghisassignment.YES, cal
lmedumbbutI
bel
i
eveinpeople,whethertheyhurtmeornot
.if
ItellmyselfIwi l
lhel
py ourestassuredIwilldo
thatngenhliziy
oemhl ophe,Iwi
llbether
ef or
youanddef i
nitel
ystickt ot
hatpromise.Ididit
withMusoandhedeci dedtodumpme
afterwardssoIwasgoi ngt
odot hesamewi th
Ay anda, i
twasupt ohimt odecidewhetherhe
want edtobewi t
hmeornotaf terhegraduated
butIwasgoi ngtomakesur eIhelpedhim, l
et
mesaywor ktoothandnai lunt
ilhegetshi s
degr ee.

Ifi
nishedaf
ter7, soIwentupstai
rs,t
ooka
showerandgotdr essed.Iwentbacktothe
studyandcleanedup.Istart
edwithbreakf
ast
after8IwenttoknockinNdumi e'
sbedroom,I
missedmyPaddl epop.

Ndumi
e:"comei
n"
Me:
"mor
ningKhumal
os"
Ndumie:"heyl
astbor
n,nchooPaddlepopwas
st
il
lsl
eepi
ngandhisuncl
ewasgetti
ngdressed
Me:
"Icamet
otakeher"

Ndumie:
"nolastbor
nleaveher,shei
sst
il
l
sl
eepi
nganddon'
tworryIwil
lbat
hherwhen
shei
sawake"
Me:
"Imi
ssher
,buti
tsokandt
hanky
ou"

Ndumi
e:"any
time"

Il
eftbefor ehecoul daskmeaboutlastnight
,
whenIwasappr oachi
ngtheloungeAyanda
came, cool asever.Iwassonotgoingtoask
him anything,hewasol dmossIwassonother
mother, ifhewant edsomeonet obabysi
ther,
Lomzi bakakhonaeNy anga.
Ay
anda:
"hi
"
Me:
"hi
"

Ay
anda:
"howar
eyoubhabha"
Me:
"I'
mfi
net
hansandy
ou"

Ay
anda:
"notsowel
l
,Ineedt
ot,
,
,"
Me:"goandtakeashowerI
'
m al
mostdone
wi
thbreakf
ast
"

Ay
anda:
"bhabhal
etm.
..
"
Me:"mustImakeyout
eaorcoffee?
"Isai
d
t
hatbl
ocki
nghi
mf r
om what
everhewasgoing
t
osay.
Ay
anda:
"cof
feepl
ease"

Hewalkedsl
owl
yupst
air
s,hekeptonl
ooki
ng
atmenowandagai
nbutIwasbusywit
hwhatI
wasdoi
ng.

Hecameaft
ersometi
melooki
ngli
kea5year
ol
dwhowascaughtsteal
i
ngsugar
,hewentt
o
si
tdown.

Idi
shedupandmadecof
feef
orhi
m.

Ay
anda:
"thanky
ou"

Ismil
edbutdeepdownIwast hornapar
t,Iwas
scr
eamingmyl ungsout.Isatdownanddished
upformysel
f.Het r
iedt
ot ouchmyhandbutI
r
emov
edi
tqui
ckl
y.

Ayanda:
"I'm sor
ryaboutlastnightbhabha,
I'
m
sorr
yMarhadebe...Icomplet
elyforgot"
Me: "itsokbhabha,
theset
hingsdohappen"I
sai
dt hatinaver
ypoli
teway

Ay
anda:
"butbhabha,
I..
"
Me:
"butnot
hingAy
anda,
itscool
"

Ayanda:
"pl easeMarhadebedon'
tgi
vemea
col
dshoulder,I'
m so,
,
,,
"
Me:
"youar
esor
ryr
ight
?..Apol
ogyaccept
ed"

Ay
anda:
"ift
her
..
"
Wewer eint
erruptedbybabomdal aandPaddle
popwhowasbubbl i
ngnon-stop.Ayandatook
her.Ndumiegr eetedagai
nandwegr eet
ed
back.Icont
inuedeat i
ng,Ayandakepton
l
ookingatme, mfxmm onlyifheknewI
couldn'
tcar
elesswhathewast hinki
ng.

Ndumi e:"whati
sgoingonbetweenyoutwo,
youjustcel
ebrat
edyour2ndAnniv
ersar
ylast
nit
e,isthatt
hemoodonewoul dwakeupi n,
did
youfight?

Me:"wedi
denjoyitbabomdala"Isai
dthat
smi
l
ing"wereal
lyenj
oyedit"

YeswehadproblemsnoAyandabutIdidn'
t
wannainv
olv
eoobabomdala,thatwasbetween
meandYanda.Wesatther
echat t
ingand
Ayandawasrat
herqui
teaf
terIwasdone, I
askedforPaddlepopfrom Ayanda.Iwant
edto
breastf
eedher,whil
etakingPaddlepopheheld
myar m,Ilookedathim andsmiled,heki
ssed
mycheek,Ilethim.

Iwentupst
airsandbr
eastfedPaddl
epopand
bur
pedher.Iputheri
nthecotandstar
ted
cl
eani
ng.Ay andawal
kedin.

Ay
anda:
"bhabhacanwet
alk"
Me:
"noAy
anda"

Ay
anda:
"pl
easeMar
hadebe"
Me:
"Isai
dno!
!Ay
anda"

Justaf
tert
hathi
sfoner
angandheanswer
edi
t.
Ayanda: "sur
e...Yhagrand. .
..No, ,
,who. .
.
Wher edidyougetmynumber. ..
..Youmustbe
fuckenkiddi
ngme, whogav ey out herightto
got hr
oughmyf one,,
,,
,het hendr oppedthecall
.
Icontinuedwit
hwhatIwasdoi ng, whoev er
she/hewasIdi dn'
tgiveaf l
y, afterthathis
fonekeptonr i
ngingandhedi dn'tansweri t.
Honest l
yIcoul
dn'tcareless.

Aftersomet i
memyf onebeeped, itwasan
smsIt ookmyf oneandr eadit"inpaper,hei
s
yourhusband, Iwonderforhowl ongcassoon
hewi l
lbemi neandonl ymine, i
fIwereyouI
wouldstartpackingmyst uffcashis560ison
herway"Ir eaditagainandagai n.
...
..

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
00]Mca:
INSERT163
Ay
anda:
"isev
ery
thi
ngokbhabha"
Me:
"yes"

Ay
anda:
"ar
eyousur
e?"
Me:
"yep"

Iwassonotgoi ngt
otalkabouti
t,Iwasnotin
agoodspacet otal
ktoAyandabutIwasgoing
todealwit
h" Miss560"angakhol
wabutina
ver
ydiplomaticwaywhent imewasr i
ght
.Aft
erI
wasdoneIl eftandwentdownstairs
babomdalawasi nt
heloungewatchi
ngamov ie.

Me:
"canIj
oiny
ou?
"
Ndumi
e:"ofcour
se,
youdon'
thav
etoask"

Me:
"thanky
ou"
Isatdownandwewat chi
tunt
ilt
heend,
Idi
dn'
t
hearthatbabomdal
awascal
li
ngme

Ndumi
e:"l
astbor
n!!
"
Me:"babomdal
a"Isnappedoutofmy
t
hought
s

Ndumi
e:"Ihav
ebeencal
l
ingy
ou,
what
'
sup?"
Me:
"not
hing"

Ndumi
e:"wher
eisAy
anda?"
Me:
"sl
eepi
ngIguess"

Ndumi
e:"i
shesi
ck?"
Me:
"nobabomdal
a"
Ndumie:"whatisgoingonkant ibetweenyou
twoanddon'tt
ell
mei tsnothingcasIknow
ther
eissomethi
ng.I t
sbeenweeksnowandI
knowlastni
ghtAyandadidn'tsl
eepher e,
Iknow
i
tsnoneofmybusi nessbutI'm concer
ned
aboutyou"

If
eltt
ear
sbui
l
dingup,
Ilookedup.

Me: "I
'
m okbabomdal
a"Isai
dthatget
ti
ngup"
I
'm goi
ngtomakeasmoothiemustIcounty
ou
?"
Ndumie:"y
es"hest
oodupandcamet
omei
n
t
hekit
chen

Ndumie:
"Inganat
hi,
tal
ktome,
whati
sgoi
ng
on?"
Me:
"not
hingbabomdal
a".Ismi
l
ed.

Ndumie:"Ihaveabadfeeli
ngaboutthi
sand
t
rustmethisthi
ngofbott
li
ngupthingsi
sgoing
t
odestroyyouemoti
onall
y,maybenotnowbut
l
ateron"

Ishr
uggedmyshoul
der
s.

>>>>>>

Weekspassed, Ayandawasget ti
ngwor sedaily
,hewasdr i
nkingli
ket her
ewasnot omorrow,
yeshewassl eepi
ngathomedai l
ybuthewoul d
comeatni te.Igotusedt othei
deaofusl ivi
ng
l
ikestrangers,duri
ngt hecauseoft hedayhe
wouldbef i
neandheador edhi
sprincessbutat
nighthewoul ddri
nklikenobody'sbusiness,it
waslikehewasafr
aidofgoingtobed.Idon'
t
bl
amehi mthoughhi
snightmaresseemed
hect
ic.

Igotusedi ndoi ngev eryt

hing, inhavingt wo
babiesPaddl epopandherdad.Hi smistress
thingescal atedshewentf rom sendi ngme
smsest ophoni ngmeandswear ingatme, butI
didn'ttel
l Ayandat hatwasdi rectedtomenot
him, Ihadt olear ntofightmyownbat tles.Hav e
youev ermetaper sonwhowoul dcur seaty ou
andmadey oufeelli
key ouwer enaked.Gody ou
woul dsweart hatZameka(hername)wentt o
Uni v
ersityforswear ing.Somet i
messhewoul d
fonemeandt el
l met hatAy andawaswi t
hher
abeal eleduzekwam kephof u.

Ladi
eswhoaremar
ried,
thosewhoar
e
pl
anningt
ogetmar
ri
edandthosewhoar
ein
rel
at i
onshi ps.Oomakhwapheni (sidechi cks)
willalway sbet hereasl ongast herear est i
l
l
menandasl ongast her ear est i
llunf aithful
menbutt ellmei sitwor t
hi ttocompet ewi th
yoursi dechi ck, f
ightwi t
hherov ery our
husband/y ouboy fri
end, theanswerf ormei s
No!!.YOUAREENOUGHt oanyman, donot
beli
ttley ourself,asawoman, ifyourman
decidest ocheati t
snotbecauseofy ou, y
ouar e
enoughi tsbecausehei sWEAKQHA! !!.Nev er
stoopl owf oraman, Irepeatnev erev erf i
ght
foramani tsjustawast eoft imebecausey ou
willshoutorbeatonegal thisweekend,
anot heronewi ll
bet ext i
nghi m nextweekend.
Foll
owi ngweekendy ouwi llswearandcur se
anot herone, t
elli
ngherHEI SMYMANst ay
awayf rom hi mt hatweekshewi llbebacki nhis
DM (di rectmessages) ,what sapporf acebook
i
nboxeset c.Plaintrut hismenwi llalway sdo
whatt heywantt owhet hery oubaby sithim or
contr ol him.AsIsai dbef orey oucan' tspend
yourlifet r
yingtoguardagainsthim whatmi ght
happenwhenhei saloneoroutt hereclubbing.
Yourdut yi snottobabysi
ty ourmanbutt olove
him soi fyourloveisnotenought odiscipli
ne
him, lethim bewhathewant stobecasy ou
wil
lendupbei ngthenagging,paranoidwi f
eor
gir
lf
riend.Abant ubonwabi l
ewenay ouwillbe
miserabl e.Lif
eiftooshorttowor r
yabout
thi
ngsy oucannotchangeGI RLS.

SoZamekakeptonswear i
ngandcursingme, I
wouldj ustreadt hosesmses, whenshecal ledI
willj
ustletitrangunt ilshegetsti
red,Ihad
nothingtosayt oher, whowasshehonest l
yt o
me?NOTHI NGsowasIt obot
hermy selfi
n
tal
kingt oher, NO!.Somet imesIwouldhav e30
missedcal l
sf r
om herbutIwassonotgoi ngt o
givehert hesat i
sfacti
onofent er
taini
ngherby
l
isteningt ohercr ap.Iwassonotgoi ngt o
stoopt oherl eveltheonlypersonIwasmar ried
towasAy anda,hewast heonl yculpri
tIhadto
dealwi t
hbuti nmyownt i
meatt hatmomentI
hadi mportantthingst owor ryaboutt han
Ayanda' sinfi
deli
ties, IhadPaddl epopwho
want edmyundi v i
dedl oveandat tenti
on,my
school work,Ay anda' sdrinkingpr obl
em and
hisnightmaressoIwassonotgoi ngtobother
my selfaboutapsy chopath.

InawayIf eltsorryforherbecauseYandawas
myhusband, shewasnot hingbutasi dedi
sh.
What ev erAy andat ol
dhert hatmadehert obe
suret hatshewast heonef orhim, shemust
hav ebeenr eall
ybr ai
nwashed. .
..
..IfAyanda
didn'twantmeany moreandbef unay ena,t
her
e
wasnot hingt hatwasst oppingAy andafrom
divorcingmei mmedi at
ely.Yeswehad
problemsnoAy andaseriousproblemsbutI
knewwher edi dIstand.
Sol adi
eswhoar estilll
ookingdon' tev erbe
fooledbyamanwhowi l
lcomet oy ouandsay
baby, Ilovey ou, yescur r
ent lyI'
m mar riedbut
wear eint hepr ocessofdi vor cingwi thmywi f
e
orSHEDOESN' Twannadi vor ceme, giv eme
somet i
met osor tthis.HEI SLYI NG.I f
esabuy elakwakhe, stil
lshar esabedwi thher,
thereisnodi v orcey anto.Ifher eall
ywanty ou,
l
ov esyout hewayhesay shedoandt hatreall
y
akasamf uni umf azi wakhe, I'm surei twon' tbe
apr obl
em l eav i
ngordi vorcingf ir
st, i
fhe
doesn't,wakeupandsmel l
t hecof feey ouwill
beused, bet hesecondbestandbet ossed
awaywhenev erythingiswel lbackathomei n
themeant i
mey ouhav etoobeyhi sr ul es,t
ell
mei sitwor thi twast ingyourt i
mewhi lethere
mightbesomeoneoutt herewhowi l
llov eyou
uncondi t
ional andwi thnoboundar ies.Ther eis
areasonwhyGodmadey ouawoman, because
Heknew, youdeser v etheBESTandy ouar ethe
BESTandt haty ouar eENOUGH
Yesy oumi ghtwinhim overbutbuil
dingyour
happinessoutofpeopl esmisery,i
twillbr
ing
nothingbutbadl uckmay benotnowbutl ater
on,trustmet hereisnothi
ngpower f
ul t
han
tearsofamar r
iedwomancast heyhold
possibil
it
ies.

Asti
megoesby,
Zamekast
oppedcal
l
ingand
smsi
ng.

Onemor ningIwasbusyprepari
ngPaddlepop
'
sbot t
le,ohhhhIhadstoppedbreast
feedi
ng
Paddlepop,shedidn'
twantbreastmil
ksoIhad
nochoicebuttogiveherabottl
e.Someone
buzzedIanswered.

Voi
ce:
"Bossl
ady
,it
smeThobel
ani
"
Me:
"ok"

Iopenedf
orhi
m andhewal
kedi
n.

Thobel
ani
:"bossl
ady
"
Me:
"hi
bhut
i,nj
ani
?

Thobel
ani
:"goodbossl
adyandy
ou?"
Me:
"gr
eat"Il
edhi
mtot
hel
ounge.

Thobel
ani
:"uBossukhona?"
Me:
"yes,
why?
"

Thobel
ani
:"Ineedtotal
ktohi
m, Ihav
ebeen
tr
yingt
ocall
him buthei
snotpi
cki
ngupmy
cal
ls"
Me:
"ist
her
eanypr
obl
em?"

Thobelani
:"yesbosslady,3t
axisareduefor
ser
vice,si
nceheisnotanswer
inghisphoneI
don'
tknowwhatt odo"

Me:"bookt
hem forserv
ice,Iwi
ll
sor
titout
t
henyouwil
lbr
ingmei nvoi
ces"

Thobel
ani:
"noprobl
em Bosslady,another
thi
ngbosslady,
wedidn'
tgetoursalar
ieslast
month"
Me:
"what?
?Why?
?

Thobel
ani:
"wedon'
tknowandTaAy
ladoesn'
t
wantustocomeher
e"
Me: "ok,l
etmemakey ousomet
hingt
oeat"I
stoodupandmadef oodforhi
m.Iwentback
andcal l
edhimt
othedinningr
oom.Wesat
there.

Me:"butThobel
ani
itsal
mosttheendofMar
ch
nowwhydidn'
tyout
ellmeat
least"

Thobel
ani:"asIsaidbossl
adywehavebeen
tr
yingt
ofonehim butheisunr
eachabl
eand
ubossakaf
unisizeapha"

Me: "okletmegoandtakemydiar
y,Ineed
youtotel
l mehowdoyouoperat
e,wi
ththe
l
ocaltaxi
sandthosedr
ivi
ngl
ongdist
ance,how
doyoucashup, howdoyougetpai
d,when
andhowmuch"
Thobel
ani
:"nopr
obl
em bossl
ady"
Iwenttothestudy,t
ookthedi ar
yandapenand
wentback.Heexplainedtomeev erythi
ngin
detai
l
s,itseemedasi fAyandat r
ust edhim cas
hewast heonelooki
ngaf t
erfewt hings.Iasked
hi
mt oorganizeameet i
ngwi t
hthem t hat
eveni
ngofwhi chi
twasnotapr oblem then
whenwewer edonehel eft.

Theycomear ound7,Iexplai
nedt othem few
thingsandapol ogizeforungabhadal wakabo
somewer ebreadwinnerscabanganj e.It
ook
alltheirbankaccounts, Iwasgoingt omake
transfersmabehamba.Ipr omisedtopayt hem
ney angoMar chsinceitwasthe26andt hey
wer enotpai dmont hendofFebr uar
y .

Theyl
eft,
ok,ther
egoesmynewjobofbei
ng
unoTeksi
kaz
imf xmm DamnAy
andaDamn. .
..
.
I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
00]Mca:
INSERT164

Foll
owi ngdayIsatdownwi t
hMam Vuy iseka,I
want edtoknowwhenwassheget tingpai dand
knowi ngthatAy andawasr esponsi blef orher
busf areIhadt of i
ndouthowmuchwasher
busf areandbey inikezwani ni
.Ithenwentt o
bothhi srestaurant sIonl ywant edt oseet he
manager s.Imanagedt ot alktobot hoft hem,
explainedfewt hings, nothingmuchIwasn' t
goingt ointerf
er ewi ththeirwor kexceptt hatI
want edthem t or epor ttomei nsteadofAy anda
si
nceheseemedt obel i
vinginghost l
and.I t
wasat empor aryar r
angementupunt i
lAy anda
abuy elai
ntohi ssensesandt heydi dn'thav ea
problem witht hat .Ionlytoldt hem t hatmy
husbandwasbusywi thsomest ufft henIl eft
.
Iwasdr ai
nedbutIhadnochoi
cebuttotake
over,Ayandaworkedsohardforwhathehad
soafterever
ythi
nghehasdonef ormeIhadto
supporthi
m andkeephisbusi
nessesgoi
ng.

Iwentbackhomebabomdal awaswor ki
ng
nightshi f
tsoImadelunchboxf orhi
m andhe
l
ef tafter6.WeatesuppernoAy andaandwent
tobed, ohhhIwenttobedAy andawasn'
t
sleepingatnightany
mor e,hehadhisnewwife
balalanay o,ALCOHOL

Foll
owingdayaround10, IbathedPaddlepop
dressedheri
nawhi t
er edflor
al dr
ess,ar ed
headbandandwhi t
el i
ttleshoes.Iputherinthe
cotandwentt obath,
, herdadwassl eepi
ng.I
camebackandgotdr essedi nmywhi tered
fl
oraldresst
oowi t
hr edsasht hatdefi
nedmy
wai
st.I
trev eal
edmysmallcleav
ageni
cel
ynot
t
oomucht hough,i
twasjustabovemyknees.I
wor
emyr edhighheel
,putonmakeupandl et
myhairl
oose.

Whatev erproblemst hatIhadi nmymar riageI

di
dn'tlett
hem def inedme, Iwasst il
lthe
beautif
ulSinenhlanhlaRhadebe-Khumal o.I
l
ookedatmyangel whowasbabbl ing, she
smiledwhenshesawme, i
tjustmeltedmy
heart.IneverthoughtIwoul dlovemychi ldthe
wayIdi d,Ismi l
edback, shewaswayt oocut e,
mostpeopl esaidbengaf aninami onl
yey es,
di
mpl esandcompl eti
onbekuzezami ther est
babethishewasmor eofuAy andaitdidn't
bothermeany waycasnobabawakhehadl ooks
myey esandmydi mpl esfi
nishedherl ook.

Idon'
tknowmay
bet
her
easonwhyIl
ovedher
somuchi t
sbecauseshewasmor eofmy
husband,Ireal
lyl
ovedAyanda, ashout
a,angr
y,
drank,at
hule,ancumil
eIlovehim qha.I
packedherbagandwewer ereadytogo,I
pi
ckedherupandpl ayedwithhercheeks.

Me: "y
amt
handaumhanal
onaof
ananobaba
wakhe"

Shekeptonbabbl i
ng,Ikissedhert hen
ngamphakami sel
aphezul uandki ssedher
tummy .Shegi ggled,Ikeptondoi ngt hatshe
real
lygi ggledIdon'twannal ieIwassohappy
shebr oughtnot hingbuthappi nessinmyl ife.
Theysay"countt hegardenbyt hefl
ower s
neverbyt heleavesthatfallandcounty ourl i
fe
withtheSMI LESnotwi ththet earsthatr ol
l"so
eventhoughIwasgoi ngt hr
oughar oughpat ch
butGodhasbl essedmengoPaddl epopand
herdad(Yanda)y eswhateverwasbot heri
ng
hi
m Iknowi twasgoingtopassandIdev oted
myselft
obebyhi ssidealwaysunti
lhetrusted
meenought otellmewhatwasbot her
inghim,
aft
erallhehadbeennothingbutaverylovi
ng
andcari
nghusbandandImadev owst hatin
si
cknessandi nheal
th,i
nhappyt i
mesand
worstti
mes.

Ikeptonplay
ingwi
thPaddl
epopandshedi
dn'
t
stopgiggl
i
ng.

"shel
ovesthatbhabha"It
urned,
itwasAy
anda
,hewaslookingatussmili
ng.

Me:
"Iknow"
Ayanda:"y
oubot
hlookcut
emyAngel
sas
al
way s"
Me:
Ismi
l
ed"t
hanky
ou"
Ay
anda:
"goi
ngsomewher
e?"

Inodded

Ay
anda:
"wher
e?
Me:"I
'
m dr
oppi
ngof
ftheassi
gnment
sin
Par
ow"

Ay
anda:
"shi
t!!Whenar
etheydue?
Me:
"tomor
row"

Ay
anda:
"whi
chmeansIst
il
lhav
eti
met
odo
mi
ne"
Me:
"noneed"
Ay
anda:
"whatdoy
oumean?"
Me:
"I'
m donewi
thbot
hoft
hem"

Ay
anda: "Idon'
tdeser
vey
oukodwa
Marhadebe"
Me: "wewill
seey
ouwhenwear
ebacki
f
uzabeukhona"

Ayanda:"pl
easewai
tforme,
Iwannagowi
th
youbabi
es"
Me:
"nha,
noneedwef
ine,
wewi
l
lbef
ine"

Ay
anda:
"pl
easeMar
hadebe"
Me:
"ok,
wewi
l
lwai
tdownst
air
s"
Ay
anda:
"thanky
ou"

ItookPaddl epop'sbag, mypur seandwewent

downstairs.Wewai t
edforAyanda.Aft
er
somet i
mehecamedown, Istoodupand
carri
edUbenat hi,
hewaswear ingawhit
eshort,
aredpr i
nglegolft-shi
rt,pushinsandawhit
e
cap.Ifindmy selfstarr
ingandsmi l
i
ngnon-
stop,hewasr eal
lyhandsomei t
sbeenawhil
e
ngimbonaa- handsomeso.

Ayanda:"MrsKhumal
o,youaregoi
ngtodr
op
Paddlepop"hecameandtookUbenat
hi
Me:
"ar
gghhmf
xmmm,
Ihi
thi
schestpl
ayf
ul.

Hepul
ledmecl
osert
ohi
m andhel
dmywai
st,
heki
ssedme.
Ayanda:
"enkosiMarhadebengent
oyonke"
(t
hankyouforev
eryt
hing)
Me:
"nopr
obl
em "

Babomdalawal
kedin,i
nhi
sboxer
s,hewas
goi
ngtotheki
tchen.

Ndumi
e:"t
hat
'st
heI
nganat
hiandAyandaI
know,
wher
eto?Youar
elooki
nggreat
.
Me:
"thanxbabomdal
a"

Letmet akeapict
ureofy
ou,hetookf
ourof
them,twoi twasmeandAyandaandtwowas
threeofus.

Ndumie:"Il
i
kethi
sone"heshowedus,
Ayandawascar
ryi
ngPaddl
epopinhi
sri
ght
ar
m andholdi
ngmywai
stwithanot
herone,
I
waslooki
ngathi
m.I
twasreall
ycut
e.

Ay
anda:
"that
'smyf
ami
l
yboy"
Ndumi
e:"I
'
mjeal
oust
hough"

Me:"don'tbebabomdal a,nextweekI'
m
di
vor
cingyourcrazylit
tlebrotherandIwi
ll
marr
yy ou"Isai
dt hatlaughing.

Ayanda:hehadaseri
ousface"heywena
bhabhaandi
yont
angakho"

Igi
ggl
ed.

Ay
anda:
"your
eal
l
ylookcut
emf
azi
wam "
Me:
"Youdon'
tl
ookbady
our
sel
fmy
eni
wam "
Ayanda:"Icoul
dn'
tspoi
lthecol
ourt
hemeof
theday"
Me:"itwasonl
yforgi
rl
s,y
ouwer
enot
i
ncl
uded"

Ay
anda:
"hey.
.
Me:
"wenaI
nganat
hiKhumal
o"

Hel
aughed

Ayanda:
"howdi
dyouknowIwasgoi
ngt
osay
that"
Me:"Iknowy oubhabha, aft
ersaying"
andi
yontangakho"kulandela"Inganathi
Khumalo"Iwasl aughingmy sel
f.
Wedr ovetoParow,Iwasdriv
ingYandascar
sinceokobephuzeprev
iousnight
.Hewasin
thebackseatwi
thPaddlepop.Wesubmitt
ed
theassignment
s.

Ay
anda:
"letmet
akey
ouout,
itsbeenawhi
l
e"
Me:
"noYanda,
Idon'
tfeel
li
kegoi
ngout"

Ay
anda:
"pl
easeMar
hadebe"
Me:
"ok"

Wewentt oWat
erfr
ont,
wespentsomet
ime,
j
ustt
he3ofus, wereal
l
yhadfun.Wewentvi
a
Woolwort
hs,whi
lewewerei
nthequeue,a
whi
teladycametous

Lady:
"youar
esuchanador
abl
ecoupl
e
t
oget
herwi
thy
ourbaby
"

Wel
ookedateachot
hernoAy
andaandsmi
l
ed.

Us:"t
hankyou"It
houghttomysel
f,onl
yifshe
knew,l
ookscanbedecei
vi
ng.

Wedr ovehome, atl

eastwespentaday
toget
herlikeoldenday s.Youknowmyhusband
makushay aoo9di bananebhodl el a.Hewentto
thebar.Iwast i
redIwant edtosleepbutPaddle
popbengal al
iatall,f
inallyshedid.Iwasabout
togetintobedwhenIhear danoi sedownstair
s.
Iwentt ocheck, i
twasdar ksoIswi tchedon
theli
ghtalltofi
ndAy andal yingont hefloor
.He
wasgr oaninginpaindr unkasalway s.

Me:
"Yanda!
!"
Ay
anda: "I
'
m sor
ryMar
hadebe,
I'
m sor
ry
Mashwabada"

Me:
"it
sok,
letmehel
pyout
othebedr
oom "
Ay
anda:
"Idon'
tfeel
myl
owerpar
tbhabha"

Me:
"heeeeeee!
!!
"
Ay
anda:
"Idon'
tbhabha"

Me:
"whathappenedkant
i?"
Ayanda:"If
ell
from t
hel
astst
airandr
oll
ed
bhabha"

Me:"casyouwerewal
ki
ngi
nthedar
kandy
ou
ar
edrankAyanda!
!"
Ayanda:"hay
imarnbhabha,t
hisismyhouse,
I
knowthesest
air
sdrankornot,somet
hing
pushedme"
Me:"habbeusuy
ahl
any
amanj
e?(Ar
eyou
cr
azy
)

Ayanda:"I
'
m notbhabha,bel
ieveme
somethi
ngpushedme, andIreall
ydon'tfeel
mylowerpartbhabha,
helpmeMar hadebe,I
can'
tbeparal
yzedagai
n,Ican'tbhabhanot
agai
n!!!
"Heheldontomet i
ghtandcr i
ed.

Me: "DamnAy
anda,Damny ouAyanda,what
hav
eIdonetoyou,don'
tIdeser
vetobehappy"
Ay
anda:
"I'
m sor
rybhabha

Thiswasreal
lyt
oomuchngav el
enganaba
phansi,
Ibrokedownngalil
a,t
hiswastoo
much,,
,,
,hhabebengi
j
ezisel
wainivel
e(what
wasIbeenpunishedf
or)wewer ei
neach
other
sarmswecr i
edImeanwecr i
ed,Iguess
minabengil
il
elanesezadl
ulaengazange
ngazi
li
lel
a.Iwasreall
ydrai
ned: '
(. .
..

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
00]Mca:
INSERT165

Me: "shutupAy anda,shutup!"Istoodup, I

wasr eall
yangr yIhadi tuptomyt hroatngu
Ayanda"y ouaregoi ngtosleephereAy anda,I
can'tcarryy ou,Ididn'
tsendy oudri
nkupt oa
pointthaty oucan'twalk,seey our
selftothe
bedroom "
Ay
anda:
"pl
easeMar
hadebe"

Iwalkedupstair
sbutwhowasIf ool
i
ng
honestl
y,Ist
ill
lovedmyhusbandyesIwas
angrybuti
tdidn'
tmeanhemustsuf f
er
ngikhona.Ithi
tmymi ndthathemi ghtneed
medi calat
tenti
on.Irushedt othebedr oom and
tookmyphoneandf onedADTf oran
ambul ance.Iwentdownst ai
rsandt ri
edt o
makeAy andasatup.Iopenedmyl egs
ngamf akaphakathikwayoandr est
edhi supper
bodyki mi.

Iconfer
encecall
edoobabomdal asoMsirawas
comingtodr i
vemet ohospital
andMawande
bezoyastr
aighttohospit
alsothatwhen
Ayandaefikaabesekekhona.Iwassonotint
he
ri
ghtstat
eofdr i
vi
ng.

Me:"r
elaxbhabha,
don'
tmov
etheambul
ance
i
sonit
sway"
Ayanda:"Idon'
tfeel
mylegsInganat
hi"Icoul
d
seethef
rustr
ati
oninhisf
ace
Me:
"it
sgoi
ngt
obeokMt
ungwa,
don'
twor
ry"
Ayanda:"maybeGodispuni
shingmeformy
pastandthewayIhav
ebeentreati
ngy
oulat
ely
I
'm sor
rybhabha"

Me:
"shhhhhhh,
itsok"

Aft
ersomet
imet
heambul
ancecameandI
openedf
ort
hem.

Me: "I
'
m comi
ngbhabha,
I'
mjustwai
ti
ngf
or
babomdal
atodri
veusnoPaddl
epop,I
'mr
ight
behi
ndyou"

Ay
anda:
"pl
easedocomebhabhaI
'
m scar
ed"
Me:"youdon'thav
etomyeni
wam ,
wear
ein
t
hist
ogetherr
emember"
Ay
anda:
"thanky
ou"

Iki
ssedhismouth,t
heyt ookhim andleft
.
Whil
eIwaswai t
ingf
orbabomdal aIwaspaci ng
upanddown, Iwasreall
yloosi
ngmymi nd.I
wenttopackanover
nightbagf orAyandaand
wentdownstair
s.AtlastMsiracame.

Me: "t
hankyoubabomdal
a,l
etmegoandtake
Ubenat
hi"hehel
dmyhands,Iwasshaki
ng

Msir
a: "r
elaxl
astborn,
sither
eI'
m comi
ng"he
wenttothekit
chenandmademesweetwater,
Idr
ankit"whatelsedoyouneedbesi
des
Paddl
epop"
Me:
"letmegowi
thy
ou"
Msi
ra:
"comeke"

HetookPaddl epop,shamemybabywasf ast

asl
eep,uzakhulaegxumabecauseofhisdad
ongafunulal
ela.It
ookherbagandItook
Yandasovernightbagandmypurseandwel ef
t.

Yandawast r
ansfer
redint
othewar d, si
ncekids
undertheageof12wer enotall
owedi nthe
wards, babomdala(Mawande)bezoshi yeka
noPaddl epoperecepti
onbutMsi rasuggest ed
thatthecarwasmuchwar merthant he
recepti
onandwewenti nwithMsi ra.Shame
myhusbandbephaphat hekil
e(dul l
), Istayed
withhimf oraboutanhour,t
henpr omi sedt o
comebackear l
yinthemorning.Icoul dn'tsl
eep
theresinceIhadPaddlepop.Itpainedmet o
l
eav ehimi nsuchastat
ebutIdi dn'
thav ea
choice.Wehuggedal ongoneandki ssed.
Ayanda:
"pl
easecomeear
lyt
omor
rowbhabha
"
Me: "Iwi
l
l,Ipr
omi
se,
Iki
ssedhi
scheekand
l
eft
.

Wealldr
ovehome,It
ookPaddlepopt
obed
andcamebacktot
helounge.

Me: "canyousleepoverpl
easeguy
s,Ineedt
o
tal
ktoyoubutnotnowt omorrowwhen
babomdalaisheretoo"
Them :
"nopr
obl
em l
astbor
n"

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Iwentt
obed,
IfonedAy
anda
Ay
anda:
"bhabha"
Me:
"my
eni
wami
,I'
mjustchecki
ngi
fyouok"

Ay
anda:
"Ihav
emessedupbhabha,
didn'
tI?"
Me:
"thi
sshal
lpass"

Ayanda:
"whati
fIwon'
tbeabl
etowal
kfor
good"
Me:
"nha,
youwi
l
l,uJehov
aukhonabhabha"

Wet
alkedandsai
dgoodby
es

Ipr
ayedandfel
lasl
eepimmedi at
ely,Iwas
wokenbyadream adreadful
one, samedream ,
samebigdogandsamel adybutshewasno
l
ongeri
nthemistIcouldseeherclear
lybutI
neversawherbef
oreshewasangryand
shouti
ngatme."Youhavepowerstosave
Ayanda,buty
ouaretoost
ubbor
n"

Me:
"whatmustIdo"
Voice:"ify
oudon'
tactquickl
y,youwill
both
l
oset hemostpr
eci
ousthinginyourl
if
e, you
don'thav
etoomuchtimeleft,nowisthetime"

Me:
"Idon'
tknowwhatt
odo"
Voice:"phakamamakoti,
theKhumal
osar
eal
l
behindyou,youar
ethechosenone"

Me:
"butI.
..
"Shedi
sappear
ed

Iwokeupfr
ight
enedasever,whowasshe
anyway,
Iwasmor econf
usedthanev
er,Iwas
aRhadebenotaKhumal o,whydi dn'
tthese
dreamsgot oXhanti,Msir
aorMawande? .I
l
ookedatt het i
mei twasafter7,Iwokeup,
mademybedIwentt omyPaddl epopshame
mykidwassl eepingsopeacefull
y.Itooka
shower, gotdressed.Iwassot i
redIdon't
wannal iebutwhatchoicedidIhav e.Iwentt o
thekit
chenandmadeherbot tl
eandst art
ed
withbreakfast.Ndumiewalkedin, hegreeted
andIgr eet
edback.

Ndumie:"hay
ibomf azi
wasekhay
awhat
'
sup,
wanxi
baezobufazi
namhlanj
e"
Me:
"I'
m st
il
lthemakot
ikwaKhumal
o"

Iwasonmyf ul
lMakotiatt
ir
eIdon'
tknowwhy
butIf
eltl
ikewear
ingi
t,hhabeungi
shout
il
e
phel
alagogowasephupheni.
Me: "babomdal
a,Iknowy ouareti
redbut
ungakwaziut
hat
haishowerthencomeback,I
needtotalkt
oyouallaboutAyandait
srat
her
seri
ous".
Ndumie:
"nopr
obl
em l
astbor
n,gi
veme10
minut
es"

Aftersomet i
met heyallcametothedinni
ng,I
havesett het ablealreadysowespokeov er
breakfast.Itoldthem ev ery
thi
ngfrom t
heday
Yandast artedtohav eni ghtmaresunti
l
previ
ousni ght .

Msi
ra:
"Damnl
astbor
n,whydi
dn'
tyout
ell
us"
Me: "whatdi
ff
erencewoul
ditmake
babomdala?"

Ndumi
e:"howi
shenow"
Me: "Idon'
tknowbabomdal
abytheti
mewe
l
efthisl
egsweresti
l
lnumb,thedoct
orsai
d
t
heywi l
ldoscanst
oday"

Ndumi
e:"DamnAy
andakodwa"
Mawande: "If
eel
foryouSi
many
ebutbe
pat
ientwit
hhim,honest
lyy
ouar
etheonl
yone
hel
istensto"
Me:
"Iwi
l
ltr
ybabomdal
abuti
ts.
..
"

Ijustbrokedown, Iputmyheadont hetabl

e
andcr i
ed, Ndumiekneel
edsinceIwassitti
ngin
thechairandhuggedmet i
ght,Icr
iedbaxakana
nento,butfinal
l
yIstopped.
Ndumie:
"y ouar
ealmostther
elastbor
n,y
ou
sur
viv
edtheworsthangi
nthere"
Mawande:"comeher
e"Ist
oodupandhe
huggedmenaye
Mawande:"youknowwel
ovey
ouangi
thi
and
wegotyouback"

Inodded

Mawande:theMar
hadebeIknowust
rongo,
ushay
aformenbandi
zel
ephezul
uakali
l
iaxel
i
se
i
nganeencane"

Il
aughedt
hewaybekhul
umai
siZul
uhi
sZul
u
wasevenwor
sethanmine

Mawande:"ther
eyougo,don'
tl
etdevi
lsay
,I
hav
edefeat
edher,uThi
xosozeavumenoyi
swe
,awukwazi
sonkesij
ongewena"
Me:
"hhabeni
daki
we,
yimi
bekumel
eaj
onge
kini
,ngamakhehl
aengi
zowat
hini
minal
aani
ni
velengizoni
saeol
dagemina"

Theyal
ll
aughed

Msi
ra:
"youseeli
feisneverdul
lwithyou
l
ast
bor
nnobasekukubi,sowipethosetear
s"

Msi
rahuggedmet
oo

Me: "t
hankyoual l
,onemor efav
ourIwanna
askyou,wil
lyoumov einwithusuntil
Ayanda
i
sokcasNdumi eworksnightshi
ftsometi
mes,I
knowwhatI'm aski
ngistoomuchbutI '
m
desper
ate.
Msi
ra:
"consi
deri
tdonema'
am "hewi
nkedat
me
Me: "si
esmar m babomdal
athatma'
am t
hing
zongi
phalazi
sa"
Msi
ra:
"don'
ttel
lmey
ouar
epr
egnantAGAI
N"

Me:
"ar
gggghhh,
Ihat
eyou"
Msi
ra:
"Il
ovey
out
ool
ast
bor
n"

Myf
oner
angi
twasAy
anda

Me: "it
sAy
anda"Ianswer
edandputi
tonl
oud
speaker

Me:
"my
eni
wami
"
Ay
anda:
"wher
ear
eyoubhabha?"
Me:
"I'
m comi
ng,
giv
emeanhour,
Iwi
l
lbe
t
her
ebef
ore9"
Ayanda:"9!!Kukude,
Iwannagowit
hyout
o
thescan,I
'
m scaredMarhadebe"

Theguy
slaughed

Mawande:"useunj
eul
i
gwal
akant
i"t
heywer
e
st
il
ll
aughi
ng
Ayanda:"fokofnina,nit
het
hikaka.I
'
mtal
ki
ng
tomywi f
e, bhabhakhiphal
ophonekwil
oud
speaker
".

Me:
"Il
ovey
ou,
Iwi
l
lbet
her
eshor
tl
y"
Ay
anda:
"nowbhabha,
Ineedy
ou"

Me:
"ok,
seey
oui
n20mi
n"
Idr
oppedt
hecal
l
.

Mawande:"uAy
andangusatanyazi
Idi
dn'
t
knowut
etemasonjobaesosat
ywakanj
e"
Me: Ismiled"ther
ei saloty
oudon'tknow
aboutmyhusband"andhonest l
ythosewho
knowAy andatheyknowhi m asahardcor eand
ahear tl
esspersonbutmi naIknowallsides
zi
kaAy andaeventhecar i
ng,lov
ingandnel i
l
itetemay otheydon'tknowuneziny
embezi
eziseduzana.

Il
ookedatNdumi
e

Me: "babomdal acany oubabysi

tformeplease
,Iwillaskoobabomdal atobri
nghermabey a
kuAy andaplease.Iwil
lwakeherupnowand
bat
hherbef oreIleave.Herbot
tlei
sr eady,
I
knowy
ouar
eti
red"
Ndumie:"don'
tworr
yI'
m notworkingtoni
te
anddon'
twakeherup,Iwil
lbat
hherwhenshe
i
sawakewewi l
lcometohospit
allater
.

Me:
"ar
eyousur
e"
Ndumi
e:"hundr
eds"

Me:"thankyou,youcangoandsl
eepinour
bedr
oom cassheissti
l
lsl
eepi
ngatl
eastnawe
youwil
lbeablet
osleeponeor2hours"
Ndumi
e:"sur
e"

Me:
"Iwi
l
lgoandpackherbagsol
ong"
Ndumi
e:"l
astbor
n,Iknowwhatt
opack"

Me:
Ismi
l
ed"t
hanky
ou"
Il
eftandwentvi
awimpyandboughthi
m
br
eakfast
.Iar
ri
vedi
nhospit
al.

Me:
"hey
"Iwentt
oki
sshi
m hehel
dmet
ight
Ayanda:
"damnwangumfazi
wakwaKhumal
o
kenamhl
anj
e,y
oulookcut
eMarhadebe"

Me:
"thanky
ou"
Ay
anda:
"Imi
ssedy
ou"

Me:
"Imi
ssedy
out
oo,
Ibr
oughty
oubr
eakf
ast
"
Ay
anda:
"thanky
oubhabha"

Me:
"di
dyoubat
h?"
Ayanda:"notyet,
onenur seinsist
edon
bathi
ngme, It
oldhim ndawumf akaisgubhu
senqi
ndi,ndi
nomfazimnabei ngunabletowalk
doesn'
tmeanshemustt ouchuMt ungwa".He
hadaseri
ousface

Il
aughedv
eryhar
d,mf
xmm uAy
andakodwa

Me: "shemeantwell
bhabhaandshewasj ust
doi
ngherjob,comeletmehelpyouuyogeza,it
wasbackatwashingAyandaagai
n.Ical
ledthe
nur
seazongisi
zaofwhichshedi
d.

Nur
se:"y
ourhusbandisver
yst
ubbor
n,It
ri
ed
t
owashhim buther
efused"
Ayanda:"ndawuskendikuxel
ekubhabhauba
ubufunaucof
acofauMtungwa, bungaf
uni
undi
hlamba"hestil
lhadaseriousface
Nurse:"No!
!That'
snottr
ue,
trustmesi
si,
I
wil
lnotdosuch,Isweart
oGod...
"
Me: "don'
tworryIknow,don'
ttakehi
m ser
ious
"
..
..Iwaslaughi
ngmf xmmm
Nurse:"thankyouf
orbeli
evi
ngme"bethuke
shameumt anomtubutsheendedupl
aughing
naye.
..
..
..

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
01]Mca:
INSERT166

Weputhi mi nawheel chai

rt henIt ookhiminto
theshower, l
uckyenought heirshowersalso
cateredfordi
sabledpeople(angi zweuAy anda
ngisho).Hesatonsomet hingt hatwasmeant
forpeoplewhocan'tst andf orthemselveswhil
e
shower i
ng.Itookoffhisclothes, heshowered
andIhelpedhi m driedup, loti
onedhi m and
dressedhimi ncleanpj s.Iwheeledhim backto
theward, theyhav echangedhi slinensoI
askedthenur set ohelpmei ntothebedagai n.
Heat eorletmeputi tt
hiswayIf edhi m.When
hewasdonet heytookhi mforscan.Istayed
withhim after12oobabomdal acamebut
Ndumi ehadt ost ayinthereceptionwithPaddl
e
popaf t
ersomet i
meIwentt orel
eav ehim, I
alsomissedmybaby .

Aft
er2t hedoctorcameandsai dther
ewas
absolutelynothi
ngwr ongwithAyanda,the
questionwasi fhewasf inewhyhecouldn'
t
walk.Thedoct orsuggestedthathemuststart
wit
hphy siot
herapyagainibi
mangazamany ani
i
ntokaAy anda, t
heydischargedhi
m andwe
wenthome.
Ihavetri
edmyl evel
bestt
odeal wit
hmy
marri
ageal onewithAyanda'sissuesbutthi
s
wasreallybeyondmycont rol.If
onedMakhul u
andtoldherev ery
thi
ngandt hedreams.She
suggestedthatweneedt ogohome.Ipr omised
tocomebackt oheraft
erIhav espokento
Ayanda.

HisPhy
sioibizat
wiceaweek, Ihaveaskedoo
babomdal
at otal
ktoAyandaaboutgoinghome
buther
efusedpointbl
ank.Bancengabancama.

>>>>>>>>

Amonthlater,Yandawasnotget
ti
ngbett
erat
al
l.OnenightwewenttobedIwasrest
ingmy
headi
nhischest
Me:
"Yanda"
Ay
anda:
"bhabha"

Me: "It
hinkwereall
yneedtogohome,y
ouar
e
notgett
ingbet
terYandaanduMakhul
uoko
esi
li
ndil
e"

Hekeptqui
te

Me:
"Yanda"

Hemovedmeawayfr
om hi
schest,
Iknewt
hat
di
dn'
tgodownwel
l
.

Ayanda: "howinconsider
ateofyouI
nganathi
?
Ican'
twal kforf
ucksake,Ican'
twalkufuna
uyondi
hlekisangabantu?"
Me:
"noYanda,
Iwi
l
lnev
erdosuch"

Ayanda: "t
henwhati syourfuckenprobl
em ,
fuckyou!,fuckyouI nganathiwit
hyourfucken
makhulu(hisgrandmot her)!,
fuckyouall"he
wasshout i
ng!,Ilethim shout,heshoutednon
stophetookasi delampandt hrewacrossthe
wall
.Minuteslatertherewasaknocki nthe
door

Me:
"comei
n"Isai
dthati
nav
erypol
i
tet
one
Ndumi
e:"i
sev
ery
thi
ngok?

Me:
"yesbabomdal
a,wear
efi
ne"
Ndumi
e:"cal
lmei
fyouneedme"

Me:
"Iwi
l
l,t
hanky
ou"
Hel
eft,
Ayandahadst
oppedshout
ing.

Me:
"ar
eyoudone?"
Ayanda:"I
'
m notgoi
ng,
Irat
herdi
ethangoi
ng
toCofi
mvabangi
nje"

Me: "fir
stofal l Ayanda, youwi l
lnev erImean
neverthrowt hingsacr osst her oom , Ihavea
chil
dher ewenai fyouwannadi ekillyourself
andmakeusal l afavourofbeenshout edby
you,Imeani tt hisisthel astti
mey oudol e
nonsenseuy enzay osi yevanaangi thi?.
Secondly,Ay andaKhumal o,youwi llnotshout
atme, y
ouwi ll notcurseatmef ory our
i
nformat i
onitsmyf uckenasst hat'
sr unningup
anddownt akingcar eofy ourass, yourchi l
d,
yourhouse, yourbusi nesses, yourschool work
I'
mt r
yingmyl ev el
bestt osav ey ourassand
thi
sist hethanky ouIget .Doy out hi nk
ndingazengi kubekekwi sit
uationwher eIwi l
l
makey oual aughi ngst ock.I'
mt r
yingt osav e
youher eIdon' tcareabant ubat hi
ni.Don'ty ou
everthinkI'm af ool,I'
m notf orcedt obeher e,
tobewi t
hy oubutI 'm herebecauseIl ovey ou.I
am ahumant ooIdohav efeelingsbutIt endt o
suppresst hem andnur sey ours, well I
'mt i
red
Ayanda, I
'mt ired, I'
m drained, allIhav et odo
here,i
st ot akey ourshi tokooko, whot hehel l
doy out hi
nky ouar e?Youar esuchan
ungratefulsoul ,Yesesss.Thi rdly, li
stentot his
oneandl i
stenv eryat t
entivel
y,wear egoingt o
Cofimv abaAy anda, i
tsbeenamont h
uncengel waubomi bakho, Ikeptqui tetheot her
daysoshout aobabomdal abebadal akuwewel l
awuzol enzai xeshal aki miAy andaKhumal o.We
aregoingwhet hery oulikeitornot .Ucimba
kumnandi ngingxol iswangabant ubaki ni
becauseofy ourst urborness.Wegoi ngnext
weekThur dayandt hat'
sFI NAL! !"
Istormedoutandwentt owashmyf aceint he
bathroom ,Istayedt hereforsomet imeunt i
lI
wascal m enough.Iwentbackt ot hebedr oom
all
tof i
ndAy andal ookingdowncr yi
ng.Itpained
mei nawayy erruthandaumunt ukodwa.If elt
l
ikeIwast oohar shonhi m hedi dn'tdeserve
whatIsaidbuty adika,hedoesn' tl
istenIwasn't
evendonet alking,onlyifhelistenedangi zwe
bengifunauthinibef or
eshout ingme.Iwentt o
him andhuggedhi mv erytit
ewi thoutut teri
nga
wor d.

Ay
anda:
"I'
m sor
rybhabha,
Itaket
hatback"
Me:"I'
m sor
ryt
oo,
I'
m notsay
ingt
hatwewi
ll
got
omor r
oworthi
sweekendbutweneedt
o
doi
t.

Ihav
espokent
ogogoeMat
ati
elet
ooandshe
saidthat
,dogsar eancest orsandshewas
worri
edwi tht hefactt hatevery
timeIseet hem
theyareangr yaty ou.Sheal sosaidthati tmi ght
happenthatt heancest orsarenothappywi th
youorwor stscenar iot heyareangrywi thy ou
andinorderi zintoziber i
ghtyouneedt ogot o
Cofimvabaandapol ogizetothem bef ore
usehlel
wazi nt oeziwor sethanthis.Shedoesn' t
knowhowar ey ougoingt oapologizekuzobut
sheiscertaint hatdogsr epresentancest ors.I
won'tfor
cey out otalktomeabouty ourdr eams
butweneedt ogot oCof imvabahopi ngthat
onedayy ouwi llt
alkaboutt hem"

Hesi
gheddeep

Ayanda: "Iwi
l
ldoitbhabha,Iwil
lgoto
Cofi
mv ababei
ngstubbornwon'thel
peveni
fI'
m
st
il
linawheelchai
r,Iwil
l,asl
ongasy ouwi
l
lbe
ther
e,Idon'tcarebathi
ningam ,yesI'
m scar
ed
andIdon'tf
eel comfort
able,bay
ahlebaabantu
baphayabhabhabutIknowy oudon'tj
udgeme
that
'swhatmat ter
s,Ineedmyl i
feback"

Me: "thankyouMt ungwa, t

hanky ouNdl ovu
youarenotdoi ngthi
sforyoursel
fbutf orme
too,phelaI'
mt ir
edngabantubakiniwhoar e
shouti
ngmef oryourwrongsandst ubborness.

Ayanda:
"ndi
ngay
ini
ngaphandl
ekwakho
kodwa"
Me:
"aGodzi
l
la"

Ay
anda:
"Heywenabhabha"
Me:
"let
'ssl
eepI
'
mti
red"
Ay
anda:
"comesl
eepont
opofme"
Me:
"ar
eyousur
e"

Ay
anda:
"yes"
Me:
"andy
ourl
egs"

Ay
anda:
"kuy
afana,
Idon'
tfeel
them "
Me: Isl
eptont
opofhim "Il
oveyouandImade
apromisenott
oleav
eyoubuty oubet
terst
op
act
ingli
keajer
k"

Ay
anda:
"thanky
ou"
Me: "i
sitfi
neifweleav enextThursdayat
least
youwill
beabletoseey ourphy
siocaswest i
ll
needtofir
stgotoMat atiel
enoPaddl epop
befor
egoingtoCofi
mv aba.
Ay
anda:
"sosoon"
Me:
"thesoonert
hebet
ter"

Ay
anda:
"yesma'
am"Ismi
l
ed

Wesl eptpeaceful
l
y,Iwokeupf ol
l
owingday
hotasev erAyanda'sl
egswerewr apped
aroundmi nes,Iwassweat
ing.Itr
iedtomov
e
buthehel dme.

Ay
anda:
"uy
aphi
?"
Me:"I'
m sweati
ngbhabha"It
ri
edt
omov emy
l
egsfr
om hisbutwangi
bambangezakhe

Me:
"Yandaaa!
!"
Ay
anda:
"mhmmm"
Me:
"yourl
egs"
Ay
anda:
"Iknow"
Me:
"nobhabha,
theyar
emov
ing"
Ay
anda:
"nha"

Iki
ckedhi
m

Me:
"doy
ouf
eel
that?"

Hekeptqui
tef
orsomet
ime

Me:"Yandaa"Iwassodesper
atef
orhi
mto
sayy
es
Ay
anda:
"no"

Iwassodi
sappoi
nted
Me: "ok, i
tsok,youwi l
lbefineIpr omise, you
havebeatthisbeforeuduty
uliwe, youwill
nangoku"Letmegoandr i
nsemymout ht hen"
Istoodupandwentt othebathroom , Ibrushed
myt eeth,wipedmymout h.It urnedonl yto
bumpi ntosomething,Iscreamed, nobugwal a
buningikelakuMarhadebeandaf terYanda
sai
dsomet hingpushedhim Iwast oojumpy, i
t
wasYandaazi mele.GodIscr eamedand
j
umpedonhi m.

Me:
"Yanda,
yousai
dyoucan'
tfeel
any
thi
ng"
Ayanda:"Il
ied,Iwantedtosurpr
iseyoubutI
coul
dn'
ttakethedisappoi
ntmentyouhadwhen
Isai
dno"

Icr
iedi
nhi
schest,
Iwassohappy
Me:
"whathappened?"
Ayanda: "Ireal
lydon'tknowIst ar
tedt ofeel
them ebusuku, youwer edreaming, youkept
ongrunting.Iwokey ouupsi nceIthought
bendi
kulalisekakubithat'
swhenIf eltthem.I
tri
edtost andupandIwasabl eto, Iwenttothe
bathr
oom andIdi dn'
tfal
l"

Iwashappyni
nani
ani
nai
dea.

Me: "waither
e"Irandownstair
s,"Inganathi"
heshoutedaftermebutbesengimkil
e.Iwentto
Ndumi e,Msir
aandWar a'
sbedroom, Iknocked
ngenqindi"hurr
yup"Isaidshouti
ngbanga
sokol
isa,t
heyrushedaf
terme.

Mawande:'
whati
sitl
ast
bor
n,i
sAy
andaok?
Paddl
epop"
Iguessenyei
ntoebothusewor
seIwascr
ying,
wegottothebedroom.

Me:"hei
sok"Ay andawassi
tt
ingont
hebed
i
nhi
sboxeraphol
e
Ndumi
e:"who?"

Me:
"bhabha,
standup!
!'
Ayanda:yhouAy andawaskewangat
hiy
i
cucumberuphol
aoku"ndikuf
akeimpama
i
nganathi
NXIBA!!
"

I
'm soembarrassedt osaythi
salready,I
l
ookedatmy self,God, Iwaswear i
ngonlyapj
topandanunder wearamat hangaebephandle
wonke.Theyalllookedatme, Idoubtthey
noti
cedbefor
e,Iwassoembar rassed.Ir
anto
thebathroom andl
ockedmy
sel
finkwaphel
a
nokokuthaba.

Msi
ra:
"lastbor
ncanbecr
azy"
Ndumie:"Iunderst
and,
shehasbeent
hrough
alot
,thi
sisreal
l
ygoodnews"
Ayanda:
"fokofni
naani
bonangant
o,t
opi
c
cl
osed"

Theyalll
aughed,Ayandat
oldthem what
happenedthentheycametothebathr
oom and
knocked.

Mawande:"phumal
astbor
nwedi
dn'
tsee
any
thi
ng"
Me:
"goaway"
Ay
anda:
"opent
hedoorbhabha,
don'
tmi
nd
t
hesef
ool
s"

Mawande:
"suphambananawe"
Ay
anda:
"vul
elemnakebhabha"
Me:"tel
loobabaomdal
atogobackt
othei
r
bedr
oomsfir
st"
Ndumi
e:"wear
eleav
ing"

Ihear
dthedoorclosed,
Iopenedthebat
hroom
door,
wenttoAyandaandburiedmysel
finhis
chest
.

Me:
"I'
m sor
ryYanda,
Idi
dn'
tdoi
tint
ent
ional
l
y
"
Ayanda:"Iknowbhabha,butagai
ndon'
tbe
carel
essar
oundmybr ot
hers"
Me: "Iwasexci
ted,
sti
l
lam "heki
ssedmyf
ore
head

Ayanda:"Iknow,tel
lmewhatwereyou
dr
eamingaboutlastnightt
hatmadeyousmi
l
e"
Me:
"Idon'
tsmi
l
ewhenI
'
m dr
eami
ng"

Ay
anda:
"youwer
ebhabha,
tal
ktome"

Ihel
dhi
shandandledhimt
othebedr
oom,
he
mademesatonhislap.

Me: "i
twast hesamedr eam Ihavebeent el
l
ing
youaboutatfirsttheol
dladyshoutedme
aski
ngmewhatt ookmesolong, l
ontoI'
m
star
ti
ngtohat ethesedreamscasal waysthi
s
l
adyisspeakingi nri
ddl
essheleavesmel ost
andconfused.Bef or
eshelef
tshesai d"youare
str
ong, youareal
mostt her
e,sekul
ungi
le"and
sheleftsmil
i
ng, t
ell
mei fIaskyouYandawhat
doy oumakeoutoft hi
s?

Ay
anda:"I
'm confusedandy
ouwhatdoy
ou
make,
yini
elungil
e"

Ishr
uggedmyshoul
der
s

>>>>>

Wewer edoingfi
nenoAy andaev ery
thingwas
backtonor malitwasTuesday ,Iwenttobuy
baki
ngi ngr
edientsandIst art
edbaki ngbiscui
ts
Iwasgoi ngtobakef orooTot i
, gogoin
Matatiel
ethenooMakhul ueCof imvabaYanda
hel
pedme.Wewer egoi ngt oleaveon
Thursdayafter9inthemor ni
ngoobabomdal a
weretof
oll
owift
her
ewassomet
hingt
hat
neededt
hem t
ocome.

Wednesdayl ateuAy andaphumeat hi hewas

goingt of il
lupthepet rolsincebesizodr i
verso
hedi dn'twannagot othepet r
olstationinthe
mor ning.Ist art
edpacki ng.Wabet hau9, there
wasnosi gnofAy andawabet hau11pm st i
ll
therewasnosi gnofAy anda.Itri
edt of onehim
buthi sfonewentst r
aighttov oi
cemai l
.Iwas
sonotgoi ngt owai tforindodaendal ami na,I
hadenoughofAy andabehav i
nglikea16y ear
oldbutagai nwhowasIf ooli
ngIwaswor r
ied
sick.Idi all
edhi snumberi twentstraightto
voicemai l.AsmuchasIwant edtosl eep
baphel anobobut hongo.Honest l
ywher edidmy
husbandgo? .
..
.

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
01]Mca:
INSERT167

Idi
dn'tbot hertakingoffmyclothes,Igotinto
bedbutbut hongodoo.Ther ewasnopoi ntin
sl
eepingcasIwaswi deawake.Ist
oodupand
wenttosi tont hecouch.Thereisnothing
pai
nful t
hangoi ngtobedwonder i
ngwher eyour
husbandi swhati shedoi ngwithwho, no
matterhowst rongy ouarehowangryy ouwer e
whenhel eftbutonceangabuy iubane
unanswer edquest ions,yougetworri
edabout
hi
ssaf etyandi twaswor sewi t
hmyhusbandhe
hasmor eener mi esthanfri
endsandwi thwhat
wasgoi ngoni nAy anda'
slif
eIwassowor r
ied.

I
twasaf t
er01:00Ihavebeentr
y i
ngt ofone
Ayandabutitt
ookmest rai
ghttov oi
cemail.I
hadnotearsonlyabrokenhear
t, Itr
iedtopray
butIdi
dn'
tfeelthepray
er,tr
ustmewhenIsayI
doubtGodheardi
t.Iwasjustmumbli
ngi nt
o
endi
ngayi
vayonami.Al
lIcouldsaywas'baba
uzeumlondeumyeniwami nal
aphoakhona'
(whereevermyhusbandis,pl
easeLor
dpr otect
hi
m)

IdecidedtocheckonmyPaddl epop, asusual

shewassl eepi
ngpeacef ull
y.Ismiled,Ir
eall
y
thankGodf orblessingmengay e,IdoubtI
wouldhav esur vivedwi thalltheshhhhht hat
wasgoi ngonbutshemademyl i
fecompl et
e.
Event houghIf eltthepai nandsuf feri
ngthat
Ayandabr oughtbutbev eleakuthathekonke
whenIl ookedather .Iwant edt owakeherup, I
knewIwasbei ngsel fishbutIwant edtohear
thosegoodsweetnot hi ngtalkszakheadla
ngozenzamor eespeci all
ywi t
hherdad.

Ipi
ckedherup,
Iputhercl
osert
omychestand
kissedher ,shedi dn'twakeup, Ishookherbut
nothing.Iknewmyangel waslazybutt hatwas
strange, Ibroughthercl osertomynoi set o
heari fshewasbr eat hi
ngbutnot hing.Lor d
i
nhl i
ziyoy ami bengat hiizoma.Iscreamed, I
didn'tknowwhatt odo, Iputherinthecotand
wentt ot akemyf one.Idi al
ledAyanda's
numberbuti twasst ill
onv oicemai l
thatmade
mescr eam har der.It
sv eryfunnyhowy ouget
usedt oaper sonev ent houghy ouknowt hathe
/shei snotav ail
ablebuthe/shewi l
lalway sbe
thef i
rstoney outhinkof .

Ndumi e,Msir
aandWar acamein,therewere
sti
l
l st
ayi
ngwithusandIguessedtheywer e
goingtostayl
ongersi
ncethei
rli
tt
lebrother
decidedt
ogobacki nt
ohisways.

Ndumi
e:"l
astbor
n,whyuscr
eamaso?
"
Me:
"shei
s..
..,
she.
."Ipoi
ntedPaddl
epop

Mawande:
"shei
swhat
?"Theywentt
ocheck
her
Ndumi e: shookherl i
ghtl
yandcheckherpul se,
Icouldseet hepani cinhisf ace"HOSPI TAL! !
,
War abr ingmycl othesngi zonxi beleendl eleni",
theyr andownst airs,Igrabbedmybagand
Paddl epop' sbag.Weal ldrov ei nonecar .Iwas
goingcr azy, Icrieduncont r
ollabl e, Ndumi e
bephet heuPaddl epop, uMsi r awasdr ivi
ng
War at ookmei ntohi schest, het riedt o
comf or tmebutbengat hiungezawor se.AllI
want edwasAy andat obet heret ot ellmet hat
Paddl epopwasgoi ngtobef inet hatourbaby
wasgoi ngt obef ine, Iwant edt ohearhi m
sayingMar hadebekuzobar ight, Iwant edhim
tohol dmet ight, Iwasdesper at elyi nneedof
hiscomf ort.Iwant eduTot i ,Iwant edmy
mot hert ot ellmet hatIalsodeser vedt obea
mother,Iwant
edmymom tot
ell
met
hatmy
daught
erwasgoingt
obef
ine.

Forcr yi
ngoutl ord, Ihad2mi scarr
iages,I
survivedthem i r
respectiveoft hepainIwent
throughphy sicallyandemot ionally
.Godhas
givenmePaddl epopbengazokwazi umehlut
ha,
Isawherbeaut y,herangel icf ace,Ihave
touchedher, Ihav efel
therwar mthand
i
nnocentt ouches, Ihaveseenhersmi li
ngat
me, Ihavehear dhergi ggling, Ihaveplayed
withher, Ihav efightedwit hherov erherdad
sincebengaf uni kumshar aIhav elovedher,
whyGodwassounf air
?, whydi dhebr i
ngherif
heknewhewasgoi ngtot akeherback.

Ir
eall
ywetbabomdala'st-
shi
rtnotthatI
wantedt
obutIjustcoul
dn'
tbearthethoughtof
l
osingmyangel,shewasmyl i
fe,myj oy,my
happi
ness.

Wear
ri
v edatNetcare,
theyatt
endedtoher
i
mmediatel
y.Iwantedt
ogoi nbuttheyr
efused.

Me: "babomdala,
whyam Inotal
l
owedt ogo
i
n, sheismydaughter,
whati
sitt
hattheyar
e
hi
dingfrom me?,i
sshegoi
ngtook?,t
ellmeI
needtoknow"
Ndumi
e:.
..
..

Ishookhim ngamandlaIwantedtoknowifmy
daughterwasgoingtobeok.Theysaysil
ence
i
st hebestanswer,i
tcli
ckedint
omymi ndthat
shewasnotgoi ngtobefine,i
fshewasgoing
tobefinehewasgoi ngt
ot el
lme.

Ist
art
edt
ohy
per
vent
il
ate,
Iwasr
unni
ngoutof
br
eat
h,Ihel
dmychest
.

Ndumi
e:"l
astbor
n"
Msi
ra:
"Nur
se,
Hel
p..Hel
p"

Me:
"Ican'
t..
.Lo.
..Se.Herbab.
..
"
Ndumi
e:"y
ouwon'
tl
astbor
n,j
ustbest
rong"

Iwastakentotheemer gency,t
heydidtheir
thi
ngs.Iwastoldtocalm downbuttell
mewho
getstocal
m downknowi ngthatshemightbe
l
osingherdaughterorrat
hershehaslosther
daughter,
theoneandonl ywhom shestruggled
toevengether,
Iwast akentoICU.

Myhear
trhyt
hm wasnotnormalt
heytr
iedthei
r
l
evel
besttocal
m mebuttheydi
dn'
tsucceedso
Iwassedat
ed.

Iwokeupt
hefoll
owi
ngday, Ifel
tbett
er.I
cal
l
edanurseandaskedherifangandi
jongel
a
howwasmydaughter.

Nurse:"Ij
ustgother
eat7butIwi
l
lgoand
checkmam "
Me:"please,Ineedt
oknowifshei
sok"t
ear
s
wer
eflowingdownmyf ace"

Nur
se:
"whendi
dshecome?"
Me:
"thi
smor
ningaf
ter1"

Nur
se:
"gi
vemehername"
Me:
"LungakoUbenat
hiKhumal
o"
Nurse:"giv
emefewminut
esIwi
llbeback,
don'
tworrysanal
wam ,
shei
sgoi
ngtobef i
ne"
shebrushedmyback

Inoddedandshel eft.MyCardiologistcame
andhedi dhi
sthingandhewashappybuthe
wasst i
ll
waiti
ngforsomet eststhatt heydid.
Hewant edtocheckifthemedi cationIwas
usi
ngf ormycardiacconditi
onwaswor king
si
nceIbunkedsomeofmyappoi ntment s.He
l
eftthenoobabomdal acamewi thmyt oilet
ri
es.
Theywer est
il
lwearinglastni
ght' sclothes.

Theygr
eet
edandIgr
eet
edback

Msi
ra:
"howdoy
ouf
eel
"
Me:
"bett
erIguessandy
ouwhydi
dn'
tyougo
t
owork?
Mawande:
"Ical
l
edof
fsi
ck"
Msi
ra:
"Iwi
l
lbel
ate

Me:
"di
dn'
tyougohome"
Mawande:"noweslepther
e,Ionl
ywentt
o
t
akeyourt
oil
etr
ies"

Me:
"thankyou,al
lofyou,andI'
m sor
ryf
or
t
hei
nconveni
encet
hatIcaused"
Msira:"wegotyourbackl
astbor
n,don'
twor
ry
aboutus,wearebigboys"

Me:
"di
dyouseeherPedi
atr
ici
an,
issheok"
Ndumi
e:.
..
.

Me: "Ndumi
soKhumalo!
!Ismychi
ldok"okkI
cal
l
edmybr ot
heri
nlawngegama,Idi
dn'
t
meant odisr
especthi
m Iwasjustunder
pressureIwassodesperat
etoknowi fmy
daughterwasok.

Me:
"issheok?,
ismybabyokbabomdal
a
Ndumi
e:.
..
Thef
actt
hatt
heycoul
dn'
tanswermemeant
mybabywasf
arfr
om bei
ngok.

Me:
"babomdal
a!Khul
umahl
e"
Ndumi
e:"r
athery
ouwai
tfort
hedoct
orl
ast
bor
n"

Me:
"whatdoy
oumean,
ismydaught
erok?"

Hekeptquit
e.Ibr
okedown,
Itr
iedsomucht
o
hol
don, t
obest r
ong,t
obeasuperwoman,
a
supermom , asuperwifebutGodknowsIwas
ti
redofbeingst r
ong.Iwasafrai
dtoevenaskif
theymanaget ogetholdofAyandacasitwas
obvioustheydidn'
t,i
ftheydi
dngeekhonathe
thoughtofthatmademewannadi e.
..
..

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
02]Mca:
INSERT168

Thenur
secamei
n

Nur
se:
"If
oundherMr
sKhumal
o,shei
sin.
..
."
Me:
"issheok"

Nurse:"r
athery
ouwai
tfort
hedoct
or,
please
sanalwam..
"
Ayhi
ingiyal
ingwa,yi
nivel
elebengi
yi
fihl
elwa
yi
lababantu.Iwenttot
akeabathanddr essed
i
nmycl othes.Al
lIcoul
ddowast ostayinhope
andprayedthatmychil
dwasok.

Af
ter9thedoctorcameandt
oldmeIwas
st
ablebutnot100%ok.

Me: "canIgoandseemychilddoct
or,
I'
m
goi
ngcr azynotknowi
ngi
fsheisok"
Doctor: "I'
m nothappywi
thyoubutI
understandy ouwannabetheref
oryourchi
ld
butifyoudon' tf
eelokpl
easegetadmit
ted
i
mmedi atel
y.

Me: "Iwil
ldoct
orandt
hanky
ouf
or
underst
anding"
Iwasdischar
ged,Iwasn'
tfeel
i
ngokbutIhad
topret
endasifIwasfi
nethatwastheonl
ycur
e
toseemychild.Ir
eal
l
yneededtoseeher.

Oobabomdal aweretherebymysi de.While

walki
ngthroughthecor r
idor,Ayandacame
r
ushing.Hewasamazi nglysoberev enthough
youcouldsmellalcoholfrom adistance.Ijust
walkedpasshim.

Ay
anda: "howi
sPaddl
epopbhabha,
Igoty
our
messagefewminut
esago.
.

Noonel i
stenedorlookedathim, Ithoughtwe
i
gnoredhim butNdumi eturnedandpunched
thedayl
ightoutofhim.Hewasshaki ngwith
anger,Ineversawhim anjeya.Ayandakept
quit
ebutIcoul dseehewasf umingngumsi ndo
readyt
oswal lowusallbutwhocar ed.Hewas
aboutt
ogeti
n.

Me: "don'
tyoudareAyandacomenearmy
chi
l
dwena, phi
ndel
alauvel
akhona"
Ayanda:"Shei
smychi
l
dtooI
nganat
hi,
Ihav
e
theri
ghtt
oseeher"

Me: "youl
ostt
hatri
ghtbyt
heti
meweboth
neededyouandyouwerenowheret
obef
ound
"
Ay
anda:
"I'
m sor
ryI
nganat
hibut
..
."

Me: "butnothi
ngAy anda,youcomenearher
uzomaziuJesuy asi
ndisaAyanda,
andt akemy
wordbhuti!
!!"Iwasgat vol
withAyandaandhi
s
bull
shi
t
Iwentinandmybabywasl yi
nginasmal lbed
hel
pless,
cubesconnectedtoher ,
Ifelttear
s
pushingt
hroughmyey es.Idi
dn'twannacr y,I
hadtobestrongforher.I
nawayi tcalmedme
toseeherIwasnol ongerangry
.Ibr ushedher
cheeksandsatnexttoher.

Aftersomet i
meIt houghtthatitwasnotabout
mey esIwasnotdonewi t
hAy anda, Iwas
angry,veryangrywithhim butIdidn'twanna
fi
ghtmybat tl
esusingher, hehadf ull
right
sto
seeherdaught erandsheneededbot hofus
bothofherpar ent
s.May beifshef eltbothour
presentshewasgoi ngtof i
ne.Istoodup

Me:
"I'
m goi
ngt
ocal
lAy
andai
n"
Mawande:
"ar
eyousur
e"
Me:"yes,
wubabawakheaf
teral
luy
amdi
nga
noYandaneedst
oknowhowisshe"

Theyal
lnodded.Iwentt
ofi
ndAy
anda.

Me: "Yanda"heli
ft
edhi
shead,
hel
ooked
sur
prise,
hestoodup
Ay
anda:
"bhabha"

Me:"youwerer
ight,
shei
syourchi
l
dtoo,
go
andseeher"
Ay
anda:
"ar
eyou,
,
"

Inodded

Ayanda:
"thanky
ouMar
hadebeandI
'
mreal
l
y
s.
..
"
Me:
"notnowYanda"

Wewal
kedi
nandhewentt
oher

Ay anda: hehel dherhand"I '

m her emyangel ,
daddyi sher
e, hewi llneverleav ey ouagainnot
ev ermyangel nomhangokunj alo, justwakeup
, Iknowi tsallmyf ault,I'
m not hingbuta
bast ard"Iclearedmyt hroat"I'
m sor ry..
.Just
giv edaddyonel astchancemyangel t
ofix
thingsonel astchanceMakhumal oy hi
ni
Mandl ovuyi
ni ntombikay i
se..I'
mr eal l
ysorry
onl yifIhadlistenedtoy ourmot her"hel ooked
atmeIl ookedaway .

Irushedout, Iwassodr ai
ned, t
ir
edIwant edto
crymyl ungsout, Iwantedtogof arfrom where
Iwas, Ifel
tsosuf focat
ed.Irandownt he
corri
dor.Icouldn'
tseeclearl
ymyey eswer eful
l
oft
ear
s.

Me:
"ouchouch!"

Iacci
dental
l
ybumpedint
osomeonebephetheI
fi
leswit
hacupofcof
feeyangi
thel
aengal
weni.

Guy:
"I'
m sosor
ryMi
ss.
."

Isatdownandst ar
tedcryi
ng,hetr
iedtotouch
myar m buti
twaspainful
.Bengi
ngakhal
iswa
yi
coffeeibi
ngi
thel
il
eIwashurti
ng.

Guy:"comelet'
sgotot
heki
tchensot
hatIcan
puti
ceblocksonit
"
Me:
"no,
I'
mfi
ne"
Guy:
"younotpl
ease"

Inodded,hehel
pedmeupandcol l
ectedhis
papers.Hel
edmetotheki
tchen.Hetookice
blocksandaswabwangi
beka.

Guy:
"feel
i
ngbet
ter"

Inodded

Me:"t
hankyou,andI
'm sor
ryngecof
feel
akho
wi
l
lgoandbuyoneforyou"

Hesmi
l
ed

Guy:
"youwi
l
ldonosuch"
Me:
"Ii
nsi
st"

Guy:"nor
elax,helookedatmewai
tami
nut
eI
knowyou,I
nganathi
!"

Iwi
pedmyt
ear
s.Mf
xmm Il
aughedatmy
sel
f.

Me:
"DrMaz
way
i"
Themba: "Teepl
ease,soy
oudecidednott
o
usemynumber ,i
fowni
yam t
hesedaysi
batt
ery
i
hlal
aif
lat"

Me:
"why?"
Themba: "
caseversinceImetyouandy ou
promisedt
ocall
, Ikeeponcheckingmyfone
thaty
ouwillf
oneandIt hinkamehlowami
ngawoaqedaIbat t
erylami"
Me:
"youar
ecr
azyt
her
eisnosuch"Il
aughed

Themba: "t
her
eyougo,
thebeaut
if
ulsmi
l
e
thatmel
tedmyhear
t"

Me:
"Igott
ogo"
Themba:
"uset
hosenumber
s,"
Me"I'm sor
ryagai
nngecof
feel
akhoandt
hank
you"
Themba:
"pl
easur
e"

Il
eftandwentbackt
othenur
seryAy
andawas
st
il
lther
ewit
hherdaught
ernoNdumi
e.

Anhourl
atert
heDrcame
Ndumi
est
oodup

Doc:
"Khumal
o"
Ndumi
e:"Mazway
i"
Themba:
"ul
ethway
ini
la"
Ndumi
e:"l
i
fendodakubi
"

Themba:
"isshey
ourdaught
er?
"
Ndumi
e:"y
es,
shei
s"

Themba:
"Idi
dn'
tknowy
ouhav
eachi
l
d"
Ndumi
e: "shei
smyni
ece,
sot
hatmakesher
mydaughter"

Themba:"Iwoul
dlov
etoseepar
ent
soft
his
l
it
tl
eangel"
Ndumi
e:"t
heyar
eher
e"

Ayandast
oodupIr
emai
nsi
tt
edwi
thmyhead
onmyknees

Ay
anda:
"Iam "
Themba:
"andt
hemot
her"

Ist
oodup

Themba:"heeee,
youar
ejoki
ng,
arey
ourt
he
mother?"
Ndumi
e:"doy
oueachot
her"

Themba:"yes,Ioncechangedhert
yre,
and
shebumpedint
omeear li
eron"
Ndumi
e:"sheismysist
erinl
aw,wifet
omy
l
it
tl
ebr
other"hei
ntr
oducedAyanda
Themba:"well
youhaveabeauti
fuldaught
er
angi
mangal
ikodwabutImustconfesssheis
notl
ikey
oubutshei
sreal
lybeauti
ful
"

Ismil
ed.Ay
andaclearedhi
sthroat,
hewasjust
makingaconv
ersati
onbutIknewAy andawas
fedup.

Themba: "wellIbel
iev
ey ourPediat
ri
ciani
s
doctorEsqui
re,heisonhol i
dayinLondonsoI
havetakenoverhispati
ents.

Ayandabecut
heamahl
eIknewhedi
dn'
tl
ike
hi
m.Mf xmm
Me:
"isshegoi
ngt
obef
inedoct
or?"
Themba:"wehavet
orunmoretestcasal
l
thoset
hatwedi
dcamebackcl
ear.

Ayanda:"i
fyouweredoi
ngyourf
uckenj
ob
pr
operl
yandstopfl
ir
ti
ngwit
hallt
hemarri
ed
womenbynowy ouwouldknowwhatiswrong
wi
thmydaughter"

GodknowsIwant
edtoslapAy
andaacr
osshi
s
face.I
nawayi
twashisDamnfaul
t.

Me: "excusemyhusband,
doct
or.Hei
sjust
st
ressedweallar
e"
Themba:
"Iunder
stand"

Me:
"thanky
ou"
Themba: "pleasure,Iwill
keepy oupost
edand
stayawayfrom runningthroughthecorr
idors
nextti
meicof f
eeay i
zokushisaengal
weni but
ebusweni
"hewassmi l
ing.

Me:
"Iwon'
tandt
hanky
ouf
orev
ery
thi
ng"
Themba: "y
ouwelcome, MrKhumalokeep
well
,Khumalouj
i
kelengaphakum Bossbef
ore
uhamba"
Ndumi
e:"sur
eTee"

Heleft,
Icoul
dseeAy
andawasr
eadyt
o
expl
ode.

Ay
anda:"sowenayouar
egoi
ngt
ofl
i
rtwi
th
menphambikwam "
Me:"honest
lyYanda?
?Isthatal
lyoucansay
?
anddi
dyouhavetorudekuye,hei
sourchi
ld'
s
Pedi
atr
ici
an,
Imeanprof
essional
i
sm goesa
l
ongwaynobaawumthandiumtujustr
espect
hi
sjob"

Ay
anda:
"don'
tfuckent
estmeI
nganat
hi"
Me: "r
eal
lyAyanda? ?Thisi
snotaboutyou,
can'
tyouputyourselfasi
deforoncesi
hoye
i
ngane,yerr
ryouar eapieceofsomethi
ng"
Ndumi
e:"uy
inj
aAy
anday
err"

Istoodupandt ookmybag, Idi

dn'
tknow
whereIwasgoi ngbutIwant edtobefarf
rom
Ayanda.SinceIdidn'thav
eacarIcall
edacab,
fewmi nuteslat
eritcame.Igoti
nand
i
nstructedhimtodr opmewher eIwasgoing.I
buzzedatt hegateandgotin.

Iknocked,
Idi
dn'
treal
i
zeIwascr
yingal
lthe
way,
Iwasr
eal
l
yhur
ti
ng.

Heopenedthedoor,Ist
oodthere,
hejusttook
mestr
aighti
ntohi
schest,heledmeintothe
l
ounge,Icri
ed,ImeanIcri
edandhewasqui te
j
ustbr
ushingmyback."It
sokanditsgoingto
beokPri
ncess"
..
..

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
02]Mca:
INSERT169

#BUM SHORT#

Muso:
"tal
ktomePr
incess"
Me:
"wher
edoIst
artMuso"

Muso:
"inev
ery
thi
ng,
kukhonal
aungaqal
a
khonaPr
incess"
Me:
"myl
i
fei
samessMuso"

Muso:"gi
vei
tsomet
imePr
incesst
hingswi
l
l
befi
ne"
Me:Il
etal
ightl
augh"thi
ngsar
efarf
rom bei
ng
f
ineMuso,
theyarefar"

Muso:
"lookatme"

Idi
dwi
thmyey
esf
ull
oft
ear
s,hewi
pedt
hem

Muso:
"doyoust
il
lrememberwhenIdi
dn'
t
hav
emoneyt
opayformyfees"

Inodded
Muso: "Ithoughtitwastheendofmyl i
fe,end
ofallgoodthingsIdreamntof,youareone
str
ongwomanPr i
ncess,youwi
llgett
hrough
thi
s.Idon'
tdoubtt hat"

Me: "y oudon'thav eanyideawhatisgoingon

Pri
nce, mydaught erisly
inginhospit
alhel
pless.
Sheisl i
fesuppor tanythi
ngcanhappent oher.I
won'tsur vi
veitPrinceIwon't
.Godcannott ake
herfrom me, sheismyl if
ethereasonwhyI '
m
sti
l
lbr eathi
ng.Whathav eIdonekahlekahl
e".I
cri
eduncont r
oll
able,hestoodupandbr ought
meagl assofwat er.

Muso:"taket
his"hehel
pedmengaphuza
si
nceIwasshaking.
Muso: "yourbabyisgoi ngtobefinePri
ncess,
theLordweser veakahlulwalut
ho, t
heseare
j
ustteststhatyouneedt opassandal r
eadyy ou
havepassedt hem "Il
ookedathi m"come
here"
hesaid,het ookmei ntohischest,Icr
ied
unti
lIfel
tthelumponmyt hr
oatwasgone.

Me: "youknowwhatmakesmesi ck,ev eryone

expectmet obest r
ong,tobeasuperi nhuman
totakeev erythi
ngin,peoplethi
nkt heycansay
whatev ertheywannasaywhet heritsgoingt o
hurtmeornot ,
wellI
'
mt i
redIAM r eall
ytired,
nami Ihavef eeli
ngs,Idohurt,defini
telynota
fool
.GodknowsI '
m soti
red"

Muso:
"let
'spr
ay"
Me:
???Ir
aisedmyey
ebr
ow
Muso:
"st
andup"
Wejoinedhandsandprayed,att
hatmomentI
knewGodwasbymysi de,Icoul
dfeel
theholy
spi
ri
tamongstus.Aft
erwewer edoneIlooked
atMuso.

Muso:
"yi
ni"
Me:"what'
supwi
thy
ou,
sincewhendoy
ou
pr
aykanj
ena"

Muso:
"li
fePr
incess"
Me:
"ar
eyoubackatchur
ch"

Muso: "yes,inful
lfor
ce, youknowafterthat
dayy oupi
ckedmeupf rom Kenil
wort
hInev er
stoppedgoingtochurch.Yesngasengiyeki
le
afterwebrokeupbutI'm backnowandI '
m
attendi
ngMen' smeetingsforthosewho
wannajoi
namadodana(unqonqoza)soonI
wi
llbeanelder
.

Me:
"wel
lwel
lwel
lMrTel
i
leI
'
mimpr
essed"

Muso:
"zi
mfundi
sozakhoPr
incess
Me:
"keepi
tthatwaykebhut
i"

Muso:
"Il
ovey
ou,
youknowt
hatangi
thi
"

Ismi
l
edandnodded

Muso:"comeher e,ei
shez
icheekszakhozi
vel
e
zi
bebov
uzingesebise"

Weshar
edahug
Me:
"I'
m hungr
y"

Hel
aughed

Muso:"youst
il
ll
ovef
ood,
somet
hingswi
l
l
nev
erchange"

Isul
ked

Muso: "I
'mj oking"hewassmili
ngIhithi
s
chestpl
ayfull
y .InawayIfel
tateasewith
Musonotasanex- boyf
ri
endbutasabrother
.
Wewer etalkingwhilehewasmakingfood.One
thi
ngIhavepi ckedupebekhul
il
emor e
especi
all
yspi ri
tual
l
y.
WhenIwasdoneIaskedi fIcoul dtakeanap,
heinsistedthatIgoandsl eepinhi sbedroom
butIrefused, y
eswewer efinenoMusobutI
wasAy anda'
swi f
esoIwouldn'tdisrespectmy
husbandngi y ol
alaembhedeniweny eindoda
evenifbengi zolal
angedwa.Isl eptont he
couchaf ter2hour sIwokeupMusowasdone
cookinghewasgoi ngt
opickNt atifrom her
aft
ercar eclassesbeziatt
enda.

Muso:
"heysl
eepyhead,
howdoy
ouf
eel
"
Me:
"muchbet
terandt
hanky
ouf
orev
ery
thi
ng
"

Muso:
"pl
easur
e,l
etmedi
shupf
ory
ou"
Me: "no,I
'm st
il
l ok,thanksbutIneedtobe
wit
hmyf amil
ynowt heyneedme, I
'
m sure
Yandaisgoi
ngcr azyIdidn'tt
ell
him wher
eI
wasgoing"
Muso:
"Iwi
l
ldr
opy
oubef
oreIpi
ckupNt
ati
"
Me:
"thanky
ou"

Wedrovebackt
oNetcar
e,hewantedtodr
op
methenahambebutIi
nsi
stedt
hathegoti
n.

Muso:"I
'
m notsurethat
'sagoodideaPr
incess
,I
'
m notyourhusband'sfav
ourat
e"
Me:
"Yandai
sgoi
ngt
obef
ine"

WegotinAy andawassti
llwi
thNdumie,as
soonashesawmehest oodupandrushedto
me, hehuggedmetight

Ay
anda:
"It
houghtIhav
elosty
ou"
Me:
"noYanday
ouwon'
tl
oseme,
Ijust
want
edt
imeal
one"

Hel
etgoof
fmei
mmedi
atel
yhesawMuso.

Ayanda:"youaresounbel
i
evabl
eInganat
hi,
uf
unani l
oapha,soyouwerewit
hhim, wi
th
hi
mI nganat
hi"
Me:
"yesYanda"

Ay
anda:
"youmustbef
uckenki
ddi
ngme"
Muso:
"it
snotwhaty
out
hinki
tisbr
..
..
..
."

Hedidn'tev
enfi
nishAyandabembambenge
washing,Musojustst
oodthere,
,
,

Me:"t
hisi
sexactl
ythereasonwhyIl
efti
nthe
f
ir
stpl
ace,
,
,,"Isai
dthati
nav er
ypol
it
eway, he
l
etgoof
fMuso

Muso: "Igot
tagoPr
incess,
youwil
lbei
nmy
pray
ers"onethi
ngIl
ikedngoMusohewasa
gentl
eman
Me: "t
hansMuso,sendregar
dst
oNt
ati
pl
ease"hel
ookedatAyanda

Muso: "youmightnott r
ustmecasy oudon't
knowmebutI 'm sureyouknowyourwife..
.
OnethingIcantellyou,youar
eoneal ucky
dude!Don'tmaket hesamemi st
akeIdidof
mistr
eati
ngPrincess,Ioncedi
dthatnowI '
m
l
ivi
nglif
efull
ofregrets.
..
..
"

Heexi
tedt
hedoorleav
ingusmot
ionl
ess.Af
ter
somet
imeAyandacametohugme
Ayanda:"Idon'tli
kethatnonsensebutheis
ri
ght,IguessIsti
llhaveachancey ol
ungi
sa
i
zint
obhabha. .
..Il
ookedathim "tell
meIstil
l
havethechancemf aziwam...

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
02]Mca:
INSERT170

Iwantedtor
espondbutmythroatwentdr
y,he
broughtmecl
osertohi
m andkissedt
hetopof
myhead.

Itwasobv iousthatweweregoingtosleep
there,i
twasnoteasybutwedi dn'thavea
choiceletmespeakf ormyselfIdidn'
thavea
choice,Ididn'
tgiveadamnwhet herYandawas
goingtoleav emeagainwhatIknewwasIhad
tobet hereformydaughter
.IexpectedYanda
toleavemet herealoneandIcouldn'
tcarel
ess
butsurprisi
nglyhest ayed.I
nawayPaddl epop
broughtust oget her
,Ayandawasbackatbeing
theloving,cari
ngandconsi der
atehusbandhe
usedt obebuti nawayIwasscar edubafor
howl ongwi l
l i
tlast.

Paddl epopst ayedi nhospi talforaweek.We

woul dgohomei nt hemor ningsandbat hed
thencomeback.I twasdr aini
ngbutsheneeded
us.Wegotal lthesuppor tmor eespeci al
lyf r
om
Muso, Melzandoobabomdal a.I t
sonlyint imes
l
iket hesewheny our eali
zet hatunent o
eyonzay oebomi ni babant u.Musomadei ta
pointthatbezaev erydayaf terwor k,yes
Ayandadi dn'
tli
kei tatfir
stbutt heygotal ongI
guessbengenachoi ce.Thel it
tl
eNt ati,Muso' s
l
itt
lesi siwouldgi vemeendl esshugsand
count l
esswi shingcar dst hatshemadef orOusi
PrincessandDi mpho(t hat'sthenameshe
gavePaddlepop,IaskedherwhyDi mphopho
casshewasaGi ft(si
sipho)notzi
zi
pho( gi
ft
s)
tous,shesaid"i
tsbecausetherewil
lbemor e
babi
escomi ngaf
terherakir
iousiPri
ncess"

Me:
"nobabygal
"
Ntat
i:"y
esOusi
Pri
ncessut
hiuzodl
alanabani
?
"

Ayanda: "askherskhokhosam,comegiv
e
uncleAyandaahighfiv
e"Ayandalov
esbabies
yesMusowasnothi sfavourat
ebuthel
oved
Ntatiwit
hinshor
tperi
odoftimeheknewher ,
theyhighfi
ve.

Me:
"ohh,
arey
ougangi
nguponme"
Nt
ant
i:"notatal
lOusi
Pri
ncess"
Me:"t
henit
ssortedyourDi
mphoisgoi
ngto
pl
aywi
thyou,Idon'
tneedmorebabi
es,
ify
ou
l
ovemethenyouwill
playwi
thher"

Ntat
i:"
youknowIlovey
ouakiri
ousi,maaraon
t
hisoneI'
m onuncl
eAyanda'
ssidesor
ry"she
madeapuppyface

Me:
'ar
en'
tgal
ssupposet
ost
ickt
oget
her
?'
Ntat
i: "yesOusimaar
auncleAy andai
ssocool,
heboughtmemagnum, Igottoridehi
scarand
hepromi sedt
opickmefrom schooloneday,
myfriendsaregoingt
obejealous"

Muso:"soy
ouwannat
ell
memycari
snot
cool
"
Nt
ati
:"Idi
dn'
tsayt
hatabut
i"
Me:"whi
chmeansev enmi
nesi
ssonotcool
casy
ouneveraskedmetopi
cky
ouup"
Nt
ati
:"t
hat
'snotf
air"

Ayanda:"don'tmindthem skhokhosam ,
as
l
ongasy outeachmeSesot hoIcantakeyou
andpickyouev er
ydayify
ourauntandyour
brot
herabafuna"
Nt
ati
:"t
hanky
ouuncl
eAy
anda"

Thosewer eki
ndoftal
kswewoul dhave.
Fol
lowingweekitwasThursday,
besisandof
ika
comingfrom homewewentt osi
tnexttoher.I
wasplayi
ngwi t
hherhands

Me: "wemissy
oumybaby ,
justcomebackto
us,westi
l
lneedtogotoCofi
mv abaooKhul
u
baf
unabadebakubone,
umkhulu(Ayanda'
sdad)
say
sinobaufananomhawakhecany ou
bel
iev
eit.Gogonomkhul ueKokstadmissy
ou,
umkhuluathiukubekel
eapuppy "

Vukaphel
amyAngel ubabahhasagreedthat
whenyouwakeupsohambaj ustthe3ofus,
j
ustgi
veusonelastchance,VukaUbenathi,
Vukahl
e"Ishookherforcef
ull
y,Yandacame
andhel
dme, hesqueezedme.

Ayanda:"youarehur
ti
ngherbhabha"Icr
ied
uncont
rol
labl
e,Iwassodesper
atetoseeher
smil
etoholdher.
Ayanda:
"shewill
befinebhabha,
wej
ustneed
tobepat
ientwi
thher"

Me:"itsal
lyourf
aul
tAyanda,i
fyoudi
dn'
t
di
sappearwhenweweresupposetol
eavenone
ofthi
swouldhavehappenedbutj
ustbecause
youaresel
fi
shwenzeokuthandwawuwenai t
s
mydaughterwhosuffer
s"
Ayanda: "IknowMar hadebetr
ustmeIhav e
l
earntthehardway, assoonasshewakesup
wewi l
lbel eavi
ng,Iknowi t
smyf aul
t,Iwi
lldo
anyt
hingImeanany t
hingtomaket hi
ngsri
ght.
WhatmustIdoI nga?

Me:
"Idon'
tknowYanda"
Ayanda:"thedr eams,
whenlastdidy
ouhav
e
them,maybet heymayhel
ponwhatImustdo
now, any
thingbhabha,ci
ngi
sisa"

Iknowhemeantwel
lbutwhathesai
dreal
l
y
pissedmeof
f.

Me:
"I'
m notadamnpr
ophetAy
anda,
Ial
so
don'
tknowwhatt odo, whenitcomest o
messingupt hingsyougoodandmi naImust
comeaf t
ery ouandcleanyourmess"Iwas
real
lyangryatAy anda,ontheothersideIal
so
fel
tforhim cashewasdev astated,Itooka
deepbreathmi nanjeIwasstressingit
sbeena
weekandt herewasnochange.

Me: "I
'
m sorr
y,Iwi
ll
cal
lgogoinMatat
iel
eat
l
eastsheknowssomeofthet
hings,
shemight
advi
ceusbett
er"
Ay
anda:
"thanky
oubhabha"
Me:
"pl
easedon'
tthankme"

Ist
oodupandwenttofonegogo,wehada
l
ongconver
sat
ion,
Ithankherandcamebackt
o
Ayanda.
Ay
anda:
"di
dyougethol
dofher"
Me: "y
es,doy
ouknowwher
ewecanget
i
ncense?"

Ay
anda:
"incense?
?,why
?"
Me: "don'tgivemet hatlook, nami Ihadit
whengogoaskedme, shesai dfortimebeing
youneedt obur nitandtalktoy ourancestors,
apologi
zef ordisr
espectingthem , t
ellt
hem
usezayakubona, shesai difthedoct or
scan't
fi
ndany t
hingitmi ghthappent heyar every
angryandt heymayt akePaddl epop' slif
e"
Ay
anda:
"Damn,
wil
ltheygot
othoseext
remes
?

Me:"Idon'
tknowYandabuthonest
lywher
e
woul
dyoufi
ndanincensei
nCapeTown"
Ay
anda:
"Iknowwher
etof
indi
t,l
et'
sgo"
Wedr ov
et oaplacebey i
yamaRast aelokshi
niin
Dunoon, sokolaandseewheny oudot hings
youneveri magedoingt hem,wethenwentback
home.Makhul ut ol
dmeIneedt orespectthe
Khumaloswhi leYandawast alki
ngt othem soI
hadtoputadoekonandscar faroundmywai st
.
'
Talkofdesper ati
on',Iwasdesperatetoseemy
chi
ldebar ight
,bearinmi ndI
'm al
soAst hmatic
butIhadt odowhatwehadt odo.SoYanda
tal
kedtot hem ,hewassor tofapologi
zing.

Itookanap,Yandacookedwhi leIwassleepi
ng
,weat eandleftaround6, asweent er
si
hlangabezwenguTeeand2doct orswith2
si
stersbebesebenzaphay a,theywerenextto
Paddlepop'sbedIcoul dn'treadthei
r
expressi
on,butsomet hi
ngt oldmeImust
bracemyselfforthewor st,whybebebaleki
sa
amehl owabovelekimi,t
hemachi newasof f,
myhai rstoodupi mmedi ately,Ir
ant oPaddle
pop' sbedAy andat r
iedtohol dmebuti twas
l
ate, shewasnott hereyhooooIwentmad, I
screamedl i
ket herewasnot omorrow,Iwasso
notgoingt oburymychi ldNEVER, It
ook2
stepsbackIwant edtorunf arIwantedt oki
l
l
mysel f,
Iwant edt obeburiedwi t
hmyAngel .
Ay andaheldme

Ayanda:"bhabha,
thi
sisnott
hewayt
odo
thi
ngs"
Me:"Iwannadi
ewi
thmychi
l
dAy
anda,
letgo
of
fme, l
etmedi
ewi
thher
"

Tee:
"cal
m downMr
sKhumal
o"
Me:"whereisshe,Iwannat
ouchherf
orthe
l
astt
ime,pleaseshowmeherbodyTee"
Tee:"wehavetakenheroutofPICU,she
doesn'
tneedl
i
fesupportmachineany
mor e"
Me: "soyouhaveswi t
chedof fthemachines
withoutourconcer ns,howdar eyou,sheismy
chil
dTee, youhavenor ight?"Iwasshaking
i
zinyembezi wereflowi
ngdownIdi dn'
tbother
wipingthem Ayandawas, bengi
bambenqi ,I
real
lywantedtor un.

Tee:"wehav emov edhert

othenor
mal
nur
serybecauseshecanbreat
honherown"
Me&Ay
anda:
...
.

Ay
anda:
"whatdoy
oumeandoct
or?
"
Tee:"yourangel i
supandki cking,ifI'
m
count
ingrightthi
sisthe5thhour
azi
phefumulela,wewer ediscussingaboutt
hat
caswef ounditverystr
ange..
..
..
."
Me: "pleasetakemetowher
esheis"
bengiy
izway onkel
ebeyi
sho,Ij
ustwant
edt
o
seemyAngel

Weal lwentt
othenurseryandthereshewas,
shamemybabywasawakeakhabal azaand
smili
ngatnothi
ng,reveal
ingherdimples,I
wantedtotouchherbutIgotscaredasif
kuzothi
waakuyenaIheldonYandaandbur ymy
sel
finhischest
.Heheldmet ight,hewas
snif
fi
ng, hemademecr ymore

Tee: "Iwil
lgiv
ey ousomespace, Iwil
l beback
"wecr i
ednoAy andatearsofjoy,
wer eally
l
ov edourangel bewor seyenaandthatweek
hadbeenahel lkuy eIguesshecouldn'ttake
thefactthathemi ghthavebeenthecauseof
Ubenathi'
scondi t
ion.Hemademesi tonhi sl
ap.
Ay
anda:
"ar
eyour
eady
?"

Inodded, Iwenttoherngamhl ubulisakuqala,

yesebusweni benguyebutIwant edt obesure
doctorsaresmar they,whenIl eftinthe
morningmybabywasi nli
fesuppor tmachine
mangi buyausengumqamanechat hatdidn'
t
addup.Iwant edt ocheckherbi r
thmar konthe
l
eftbum nekababakhei l
apho#ni ngacabangi
ngezinqezomy eniwami habbengi yayi
bona
l
eyomi cabangoyenu.Lol,hides#.

Ikissedhercheekandsheopenedherar ms,I
knewshewant edmet ocarryherfundiswe
wubabakhei zandl
a.Ipickedherup.Shesaw
herdadandopenedherar msf orhim,she
startedcry
ing,hhabeIalsomi ssedher.Ayanda
tookher, t
hepervertkeptquit
eimmedi atel
y
andst ar
tedplayi
ngwi t
hAy anda'sf
ace
Ayanda:"bufunudaddywena, dadisheremy
angel,
hewi l
l nev
erleaveyouagai
n, I
'
mr eal
l
y
sorr
y,ifbukwaziuthethaIwasgoingtoaskyou
ungi
xoli
selekumhana, Ihav
emessedupbi g
ti
me"

Wesl eptatthehospit
al agai
nt henshewas
dischargedthefoll
owingday, Ihadt odr
ive
Yanda' scarcasPaddlepopbengazwi l
engo
daddywakhe, Igetj
ealoussomet imesofthei
r
relat
ionshi
p, i
sshenotsupposet obeclosert
o
me?Wegothomeandt ookPaddl epop'sbag
andwewentst rai
ghtupstair
sot herswereat
wor k

Ayanda:"y
oucantakeabathforsol
ong
bhabhaIwi
llbat
handfeedher"
Me:
thanky
ou"
Hebroughtherbat hi
ngdi shandstar
tedbat hi
ng
her,myangel l
oveswater,shewast alki
ngt o
herdadephendul anayeifebephendulainidon't
askmeI 'm notaKhumal oizi
li
mazakwa
Khumal obezizwanawhatt heyweretalki
ng
about.Iwasbusychangi ngtheli
nensincebese
i
nesontokungal al
wakuy ona.Hedressedher
andti
eherhai r,thenhewentdownst airsto
makeherbot tle.

Youknow, peoplethinkthatthemostpai nful

thingi nli
fei sloosingt heoney oulov eand
valuet hemost, Iwassoscar edtol oseAy anda
andPaddl epopIconcent r
atedont hem Ispent
allmyener gykibo, Ispentmyl astener gytryi
ng
tobeasupermom ev entoAy anda.I nawayI
didn'trealizeIwasl osingmysel fint heprocess
ofv aluingt hem toomuchandf orget ti
ngthatI
hadf eel i
ngst oot hatIdogethur t.Isatont he
fl
oor, Ir
eallydon'tknowwhatgoti nt
ome.I
wassoov erwhel med, Iwassonotcopi ng,al
lI
havebeenwor riedaboutwasAy anda.Icri
ed
si
lentl
y, Ireall
yneededt or emovethelump
beli
ndivali
l
eemqal eni.Ayandacamei nno
Paddlepop, hedidn'tseemecas
bendingaphay akwebedont hefl
oor,Icri
edli
ke
nobody' sbusiness,myf oner ang,Il
etitandhe
stoodupay oyi
phendul athat'
swhenhesawme

Ayanda:
"bhabha!
!!
"HeputPaddl
epopont
he
bedandcametome

Ayanda:"Inganathi,pleaseMar
hadebedon' t
dothist
oy ourself,IknowIhavewr ongedy ou,
xol
aMaf uzaful
ele,xol
a, Makhul
ukhulu,xola
Bhungane, xol
apill
aryakwaKhumal o,without
youI'
m nothing,wear enothi
ng"
Hepi ckedmeandmademesi tonhi slap,I
wascr y
ingbendi nesinqukru.Itr eallyhurt,Ihad
usedal lmyst rength,allthelov e, allt
he
patienceIhad, Iwasl eftwi t
hnot hi ngbuta
brokenhear t
, aheav yhear tandat hornone.
Paddl epopst artedcrying, mychi ldakafuninix
njengobabakhe.Ay andapi ckedherandmade
hersitont heot herlap, Ubenat hi doesn'twant
toshar eherdadshecr i
edhar der,don'tever
thi
nkIhadst oppednami ,soYandahadl o
mt hwalowot hulisatwogi r
ls,hay inje
wascr eamauUbenat hi.

Ayanda:"hay
iUbenat
hidon'tbejeal
ous,
ngumfaziwam l
o,unj
anikanti"

Shest
ret
chedherar
msaf
unauzaki
mi

Ay
anda:
"noPaddl
epopmommyi
snotf
eel
i
ng
wel
l"

Shestar
tedsuckinghertwofingers,
Itr
iedto
getof
fkuAy andabutheheldme, hestret
ched
hi
sarm andt ookUbenat
hi'sbottl
eandf edher,
shewasf al
l
ingasleepunti
lal
alathenwaml al
isa.

Me:
"letmet
akeabat
h"
Ay
anda:
"let
'sbat
htoget
her"

Me:
"noIpr
efert
obeal
one"
Ay
anda:
"ar
eyousur
eyouwi
l
lbef
ine"

Inodded,
Istoodupandt
ookof
fmycl
othes
andranabubblebat
h.

Ay
anda:
"Iwi
l
lgoandmakesomet
hingt
oeat
"
Igotintot hebath, Istart
edcryingagai n, t
he
painIwasf eeli
ngwasunbear able.Iwant edto
bedead, Ididn'
twannal i
veanymor e.Ibathed
andwor emypj '
s.Iwentt othemedi ci
ne
cabinet,Iwasst i
ll
cr y
ing,Iopenedi tandtook
al
lthepill
sIcoul dfindthere,ngazithela
esandleni ,ngazi
phonsael onyeni zonke....
.

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
04]Mca:
INSERT171

Itookanotherhandfulpills,Iwentt othesi
nk
forwater,Ibentt
odr inkwat er"uphambene
Simanye,uphambeneI nganat hi,uphambene
Sinenhl
anhla,t
hesmal l voiceupt herecoul
dn't
l
etmedoi t,Iwasnotacowar d,Iwasnotbor n
tobeone, Iwasnott hatsel fish,
wasI?No! !.I
hadparentstothinkabout, IhadYandat othink
aboutheneededmemor ethanev eraboveallI
hadthi
sinnocent,
small
,lov
ing,l
i
ttlesoulwho
deser
vednothingbutmyloveandmyat t
enti
on.
HowcouldIletdevil
say
sIhav edefeatedher
No!Iwassonotgoi ngtodothat.

Iwouldn'tbeasthmat i
cat6,gotdumpedat18,
wouldn'thav e2consecut
ivemiscarr
iagesi
na
year,cardiaccondit
ion,wouldn'
tpassthetr
ial
s
Ipassedt hroughifGoddidn'
tknowIwas
str
ong.

Ayandacamei nwhenIwasaboutt o
expectoratethepi
ll
sf r
om mymout h."Bhabha!!
!
"hesaidt hatengi
bethai sandl
azaphasalaka
zonke, Isti
ll
hadthef i
rsthandfulpil
lsi
nmy
mouth, Iexpector
atedt hem uptothelastone.,
aft
erthathepul l
edmecl osertohim.
Ay
anda:"it
sokbhabha"i
nawayIwasangr
y
wi
thAyanda
Me: "justleavemeal oneAyanda"Isai dthat
try
ingtomov eawayfrom him butheheldme, I
tri
edsohar dt ofi
ghthim,Ididn'twanthimt o
touchme,buthewasst rong, heheldmyar ms
andgent l
ybr oughtmeintohischestngehl a
ngesink, heletmewentdownsof t
lyandgently
i
nhi sarms, webot hsat.

Ayanda: "bhabhaIknowyouarehurti
ng,I
knowi t
sallbecauseofmebutyouar enot
abouttodienowbhabha, youcan'
tleaveus,
ndiy
iningaphandlekwakhoMarhadebetel
lme"
hekissedthetopofmyheadandsqueezedme.

Ir
eal
izedatt
hatmomentthatIhavelocked
awayall
thehur
tandpaini
nmyhear twhich
mademecompl et
elynumb.Ihav
elockeddown
myemot i
ons.Iwasi ntheworl
dofpainand
thi
sthi
ngofnottal
kingabouthowIf el
t,ofnot
tal
ki
ngtoeachothernoYanda, notadmit
ti
ng
oursor
rowsandmi seri
eswhent her
ewasso
manycomf or
ttobef oundineachothersar
ms,
waskil
li
ngmeemot i
onal.

IknowwhatIdi dwassel fi
shandi nconsiderat
e
butIwastir
ed.Ididn'tr
egretmar ryi
ngAy anda,
gett
ingmarri
edat19butt hingshavenev ernot
beeneasyatall,If
eltdefeatedbylif
e.Ihav e
suff
eredsobadly ,
Iknewatt hatmomentIwas
headingf
orabr eakdown, tearswereflooding
i
nbot houreyes.

Ayanda:
"letmemakethingsrightbhabha,l
et
memendt hewall
sIhav
ebr oken"hesaidthat
i
nashakyv oi
ce
Aftergivingbi rt
ht heygi
veyourtreasuresome
sti
tches, ify ouhav eacuttheyalsogi vey
ou
sti
tches, wi thoutadoubtdoctorsar eexpect
sin
sti
tchingt hingslikethat,i
tsevenwor senow
eveni fyouhav egivenbir
thbycesar eanpeople
wil
l notnot icebutt el
lmehowdoy oudot hatto
one' shear t,howdoy ouworkback, howdo
yougai nbackone' str
ustaft
erbetrayingyou
aft
erwhaty ouhav ebeenthrough.

Ayanda:"Nxolel
e(for
giveme)bhabha,
nxol
elemfaziwam ,al
lIhav
ebeenlat
ely~a
j
erk,Iwi
shIcant ur
nbackthehandsofti
me.

Iwantedt
osaysomet hi
ngbutmyt hr
oatwent
dry,howIwantedsodesper
atel
ytosay
somethi
ngbutIwashurti
ngreal
lyhurt
ing.
Ayandahadnoideawhathehasdone.Al l
I
coul
ddowast olookathi
m, hel
ookedatme
cur
iousl
y, hi
seyesdrawi
ngdownovermy
l
ovelyeyes,Iguesshewant
edtoknowwhatI
wasgoingt osay.

AllIwant
edtodowast orun,Iwant
edtol
ock
myselfawayf
rom Ayanda,i
twouldmake
thi
ngssomucheasier.

Wesatt her
eforabouthalfanhour,noone
utt
eredawor donlytear
sandsniff
sthat
explainedhowwef el
tatthatmoment.Istood
upandwentt owashmyf ace,heexi
tedthe
bathroom andwhenIcamet ot
hebedroom
Ayandawascar r
yingPaddlepop,hetookmy
hand.

Ay
anda:
"pl
easecomewi
thme"
Ishookmyhead

Ayanda: "pl
easebhabha, hetookPaddl epop
'
sbag, tookmyhand.Wemadeourwayt othe
l
ounget henout side,heopenedt hedoorf or
meIgoti nthecar ,hebuckledandsecur ed
Paddlepoponherbabyseat, hethenwentt o
hissi
deanddr ov etot hebeach.Wesatt here
quiet
lyandwatchedt hesunsanki ntothesea.
Itwasabeaut i
fulimage.Ay andabr okethe
sil
ent.

Ayanda: "bhabha, I
'
m sosor ryMashwabada, I
knowwhaty oumi ghtbethinkingt hatI'm back
atmyoldway s, i
tsnotthatMar hadebe, I
shoul
dhav et rust
edy ou,believedi nourl ove,
I
shoul
dn'thav epushedy ouawaybutbei ng
AyandaKhumal oIthoughtIhadev er yt
hing
undercontrol.Wemadeapr omi set hatwewi l
l
neverkeepsecr
etsfr
om eachot
herbutIhav
e
brokenthosepr
omises"

Ihadnothi
ngt osayIj
ustst
aredathi
m myey
es
wereful
loftears.

Ayanda: "becauseI '

m anar
rogantdogand
unhealt
hysenseofsel fi
mport
ance,lookwhere
wear enow, lookwhatIhavedonet oyou.You
aretoosweetbhabhaandy ouhaveahear tof
gold,youdon' tdeser
vetheshitt
hatIhaveput
youthrough.

Me:"Idon'
tfeel
sosweetYanda,Ifeelangr
y
andcr
ossatyou"Isai
dthatf
rowning.
Ayanda:"It
hinkIknowhowt ochangethat
Marhadebe,t
hisfaceistoocutet
obeangryor
cr
oss".I
nawayAy andahashiswayofmaking
myi nsidesmelt,
Idi
dn'twannamel ty
etbutI
reali
zedIhadnochoi cecassparkswere
pingingandzingi
nginsidemelikeafi
reworks
displayonthenew'sev e.

Iwasstill
concernedaboutthethingshewas
hi
dingfrom me.Itseemedt hesubjectwas
cl
osedf orthatmoment.Wegotl ostinourl ong
passi
onate, sof
tkissunt
ilPaddl
epopst art
ed
cry
ing.That'smybabyforyoualway sjealousof
hi
sdad....
..

Ay
anda:
"heywenaPaddl
epop.
..
"

Hebr oughtherclosertohi
schest
amt hut
huzela,Ilookedatthem ,
theywereso
cute...
Icoul
dn'tstopsmili
ng,admiri
ngthe
beautif
ulfamil
yGodhasbl essedmewi t
h
i
rrespecti
veofwhat. ..
I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
05]Mca:
INSERT172

Me:
"let
'sgo,
itsget
ti
ngcol
d"

West
oodup

Ay
anda:
"bhabha"Il
ookedathi
m "Il
ovey
ou"

Inodded, wedrovehome, wewentv

iaspur
andorderedtakeaway.Whenwegothomehe
bathedPaddlePopandf edher
.It
ookashower
andcamebackt othebedr
oom,Iwasnaked

SHI
TT!
!!Hesai
d.
Ayanda:"bhabha"hecamecl osert
omeand
pull
edmedownonhi sl
apti
lti
ngmybackinhis
arms,hi
sey esgleamedwit
hwar mt
handahot
waveofl
ongi ng"Khumbul
ilekesezam mf
azi
wam."Ismiledmf xmm Ay
anda

Me:
"butbhab.
."
Ayanda: "shhhhhhh, "heputhi sfingerovermy
mouthandl ookedatme, "youaremy
happiness, myj oy,myl if
e, mywor ldnoPaddle
popthanky ouf orbeingpat ientwithme"t he
toneofhi sv oicewasi nnocentandsosi ncer
ely
,
i
twast hatYandaIf ellinlovewiththatYanda
whowi llmov emount ai nsformef orusno
Paddlepop.Het henr eplacedhisfingerwit
hhis
mouth, hi smout hmov edoverminet easi
ng,
tormentinginawaymyhear thurtwith
every
thingIf elt,passion, bri
ghtandhot,
war mthandgl owing.Theki sswassosweet,
I'
m sur eifwewer einheav enAngelwouldhav e
beencheer i
ngandsi ngi
ngf orus.Therewasa
greatnessaboutt hatfeeli
ng.Agoodnesst hat
fel
tlikedest i
nyandper f
ect i
on.Iwasmeantt o
beinYanda' sli
feandhewasmeantt obet he
manIshar edmyl if
ewi t
h.Adeepwar mth
spreadt hroughmybody ,allt
hemiseryand
painsofhear tbreak, br
okenanddi ssol
vedby
thattendermoment .Helookedatmeashe
wast ryingtogetsomeanswer sasifhewas
studyingadr awing.

Ayanda:"JustwhenIt houghtmyl i
fewasov er
againanAngel ofheavenhascamef ormesent
byGod, anAngel whonowst oodembr acedin
myar ms,againthanky ouMar hadebeforbeing
ther
eforme, forbeingt herealwi
fe, f
orbeing
themother,
sister.Iknowy ouarenotwi t
hme
becauseofmymoney ,youcanaffordanythi
ng
youwant, Iknowev enify oudon' t,y
ouhav e
somet hi
ngIdon' thave,suppor t
ivepar entswho
l
ov esy ouuncondi ti
onal,adi plomat hatnoone
cant akeawayf rom you.Asf ormenIknow
therear ebet termenoutt her ewhocanl ovey ou,
treatyoubet ter,pamparey oumor ethanIcan,
whoar eeducat ed,whoar ehandsomebuty ou
choseel i
gxagxal i
ndim,fort hatIwi l
lfor everbe
grateful.Imi ghtnott hanky ouev erydaybut
deepdownndi nombul el
oongazenzi siy o.I
fit
wasn' tfory ouIwoul dn'tbewal ki
ngagai n, my
Angel woul dn'tbeal i
v ethel i
stisendl ess,
ndiyabul el
abhabha"hi sf acewaswetwi thtears

Me:
"heydon'
tcr
yonme"
Ayanda:"whatisi
tthatIdi
drightt
odeserv
e
youbhabha,whyarey oust
il
lwithmeaft
erthe
shi
tIhaveputyouthrough"
Me: "Ichoset obewi thyouforallt
hegood
thi
ngst hatyouhavedonenott oleaveyoufor
oneort wothingsthaty oudi
dwr ongandIlov
e
you,trustmeIcanl ivewithoutyouYandabut
theproblem isIdon'twannali
vewi t
houtyou,I
wannal eavey oubecauseIdon'tl
oveyou
anymor enotbecauseI '
m angryatyou"
Ay
anda:
"youar
ewaybet
tert
hanme"
Me:
"thatf
orsur
eIknow"

Hest art
edkissingmeagai n,heleftmymout h
andwentdown.Ishi veredashepl ayedwi t
h
myni pples,hi
smout hcamedownonmeandI
wasl osttonothingbutt hatmol tenhotf i
re
betweenus.Iwr appedmyar msar oundhi m
andshi f
tedinhisl apandf el
tthehar dproofof
Mtungwapr essingagai nstmybut ts.Hisbody
ti
ghtenedunderme, Ipressedki ssest ohisjaws
,hisneckwhi l
emov ingmywai stpr essi
ng
Mt
ungwamor
e.

Ayanda:"damn! !
!,
hemoanedholdingmet i
ght
,hiseyeswerecomplet
elycl
osed.Helif
tedme
upandmademest andashewasst andi
ngtoo,
hi
sbodymenaci ngbuti
nagoodway, i
nahard,
pr
otecti
ngway.

Ayanda: "pl
easeundressme"Iblushedand
tookof fhisclot
hes"youareblushing
Mar hadebe"hesai d.Hesmi l
edadeepsmi l
e
reveali
nghi swhiteandbeaut
ifult
eethinav
ery
sexy,seduct i
veandtoosinf
ulway .

Ifumbledwiththebutt
onsofhisshir
t,Itookit
off,ther
egoesmybeaut i
fulf
itbodyofmy
husband.Iwenttohistr
ouser
s, It
ookitofft
hen
hi
sboxer sandunderwear.Mt
ungwaj utt
edout
proudlyandthatmademymout hwatery
.
Hhawuphel angagcinalastyear.Aftergi
ving
birt
hbekusebuhl
ungwanakuMar hadebeand
thedayIwasgoi ngtobeser vi
cedPaddl epop
wabanomonaandsi ncethenbengi sedesert
.
I
mmedi atel
yIsawuMt ungwa, Mar hadebewent
wetinst
antl
ychangi qambaamangaal hl
aza
i
floodsbezi
thel
elai Mzimvubu, Tina, Ni
le,
Tugela,
Amazonr i
veroranyriveryoucant hi
nk
of:)

Wewer elostineachot her,ki

ssi ng, t
ouchi ng
andfeelingwhatwehav emissedf orthepast
fewmont hs.Heli
ftedmeandIwr appedmy
l
egsar oundhi swaistashecar ri
edmet ot he
bed.HewentdownonMar hadebe, hayike
babah, myey esrolledbackandwel lheat eher
l
iketherewasnot omor rowall Icoulddowast o
moan, begf ormor e.Youknowmasekudal a
wagqibelejuiceszibangathizihlekwi Victoria
fal
ls,
thisiswhatIl ongedf orandt rustmemy
husbandwhenhedoeshi sthi
ngy ouwould
swearhewentt oschoolforthat.Idon'
tknow
howmanyt imeshebr oughtmei ntotheedge.
Hewentupandposi ti
onhi mselfashewas
abouttopushinsi
de, Ij
ustcouldn't.

Me: "No!Ipushedhi
m away"NoAyanda"a
si
lentt
earsli
ddownmyf acemair
ingthe
perf
ecti
onofthatmoment,hepul
ledaway.

Ayanda:
"whati
swrongbhabha"hi
squest
ion
wassosoftt
omyears
Me: "Ican'
tdothisrightnowbhabha,Ijust
can't,Ireal
l
ywanty ouYanda, Godknowshow
l
ongIhav ebeenlongingforyoubutIdon't
knowwhaty ouwer edoinginal
lthesenight
s
youwer enothere.Ir eal
lydon'
tknowwhoy ou
werewi th,whatdidy oudotothem whatdid
theydot oyou.Ican'tAyandaIcan't
.Ihavea
chil
dtot
hinkabout"Ibr
okedownhehel
dme
ti
te.

Ayanda:"I'
m sor
rybhabhaandIunder
stand,
I
wouldfeel
thesamenam butI.
."
Me:
"di
dyouatl
eastuseapr
otect
ion?"

Ay
anda:
"bhabha,
I'
m sor
ry"
Me: "answermedammit,
didy
ouusea
pr
otecti
onAy anda!
!"

Ayanda:"bhabha,
keepi
tdown,
youwi
l
lwake
Paddlepop"
Me: "y
ouaresounbelievabl
e, don'
tcomehere
andt el
lmetokeepitdown, wherewereyouby
thetimewewant edyouatni ght,
youareso
self
ishandinconsi
derateAyandaKhumal o,t
he
onlypersonyouthi
nkofi syouonly,y
.."
Ay anda: "Inganat hiKhumal o,listen!!
!Hehel d
mel aezi ngal weni "lookatme"andIdi d"I
knowIhav ebeenaj erkofl atel
ybengi buyalate
somet i
mesi nt hemor ningbutIsweart oGodI
didn'tfuckany oney ouhav et obel ieveme, y
ou
hav etobel i
ev emeMar hadebe, thegi r
lwho
fonedmet hatday ,Ididn'tfuckher, Iwasway
toodr anksheof f
eredt odropmekwaWar acas
Ididn'twannadi srespecty ou, Iwast oodrunk.I
thinkuMzi setmeup, Iwassodr unkbhabhaI
couldn'tdriv eMzi masi saidthatbi t
chwashi s
cousi nshewasgoi ngt odr i
vemet okwaWar a,
ndat i
paonmywayIwokeupf ollowingday
ngaphakat hi kwegat ey akwakhe, shewant ed
met ogoi nf orbr eakfastndaphanse
ndamphambani siimihlathingenqi di
.I'
m sure
whi l
eIwasasl eepshewentt hroughmyf one
casIswearIdi dn'ttakehernumbernei t
her
gav ehermi nes.Ndi khol webhabha, yesIcan
beever y
thi
ng,butacheater,No, I
'
m nota
cheaterbhabha,
evenifIdiditIwasnotgoing
toli
et oyou,ngi
khol
weMar hadebeheli
ft
edmy
chi
ni.

Me: "Ibel
i
eveyoubutIwi
l
lnotsl
eepwi
thy
ou
unt
ilyougoanddoanHIVtest"
Ay
anda:
"awundi
thembi
olohl
obobhabha"

Me: "Idobhabhabutthat
smylif
ewet al
ki
ng
about,Il
oveyousomuchbutIcan'tr
iskmyli
fe,
IhavePaddlepoptothi
nkabout
".

Ay
anda:"Iunderst
andbhabha,
wil
lyougowi
th
methent
omor r
ow"
Me:
"ok"
Ay
anda:
"thanky
ou"

Igotinbedandhegotbehindmeandwesl ept,
Iwasi nmyhusband'swarmth.Ilovemy
husbandwithal
lmyhear tt
rustmeandsex
i
mnandi youwil
lal
lagreewithmebutifenjoyed
i
rresponsi
blei
tcanmakey ouliv
elif
eful
lof
regret
sandIwasn'tabouttoli
vethatl
if
e..
..

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
05]Mca:
INSERT173

IwaswokenbyAy andai
nthemiddl
eofthe
ni
ght,hewasscreamingl
oud.Ishookhi
m he
j
umpedandquicklyfi
ddl
edsomethi
ngunder
bed.

Me:
"Yandai
tsme,
i
tsj
ustani
ght
mar
e"Isai
d
thatr
eachingfort
hebedside,
thefearIhad,he
hadaguni nhishand,hesawthatIwasscared
andquicklyst
oodupandwentt othesafeand
l
ockeditin.

Isatt
her
eindi
sbel
ief
,scar
edal
so,
hisbody
waswetofsweat
.

Ayanda:"I
'
m sor
ry,
Iwasgoi
ngt
olocki
tup,
I
for
got"
Me:"wehav
eakidAy anda,
leav
inggunsl
yi
ng
ar
ound,
hayimaankhula"

Ayanda:"IknowandI
'
mtr
ulysor
rybutIneedi
t
whenI'
m outther
e"
Me: "so..
.Soy ouwereleavi
ngusAyanda
nanamuhla, y
ouwer eleavi
ng"Ist
artedcryi
ng,
Icoul
dn'tunderst
andwhatwaseat i
ngAy anda
kant
ibi
menzaabal
ekeumuzi
wakhe.
Ay
anda:
"youwon'
tunder
standSi
many
e"

Iwashur
tandangr
y,Icr
iedunt
ilIhadhi
ccups

Me: "it
sokGo, goAyandaI'
m sickandti
redof
thi
s,si
ckandti
redofyou,Idon'tcar
ewhet her
ubuyil
eornotj
ustgo,
nobauf i
lelauyakhona
j
ustgo!"
Ay
anda:
"Shutup!
!!
"

Me: "y
oudon'
tgett
ospeakt
omekanjalo
si
yezwana!
!,
whothehel
ldoyout
hinky
ouare,
j
ustgo"
Ayanda: heloweredhist
one"I'm sorr
y,you
won'tunderstandbhabha,I'
m amess, af ucken
mess! !
!"heroared,
fearwasbeginningtodance
al
ongt hesurfaceofmymi ndandbody ,butI
wassonotgoingt olethi
m seeIwasscaredof
him.Trustmethat'
sonesideofAy anday
ou
don'
twannasee, andyoudon'twannabenext
tohim whenheisinthatstat
e.

Me:
"tal
ktomeAy
anda"
Ay anda: heLaughedbi t
terly"youaresonaï ve
Simany e, youhav enof uckenideawhati s
goingonar oundt hiswor l
d"hewor ehis
sli
pper sopenedt heslidingdoorandst al
ked
out si
deintot hebal cony.CapeTownweat herI
didn'tknowi twasr ai
ningout si
de.Iheardt he
soundoft her ainasheopenedt heslidi
ngdoor .
Itwascl earhewashur tingandGodknowshow
muchIl ovedAy anda, Ihatedtoseehi m hurt
ing.
Iclimbedof ff rom thebedandputonmygown,
Iwentt ost andi ntheopendoorandl ookedat
him.
Ther ai
nwashedov erhim soaki
nghisnaked
body, hel
ookedhur t,
lonelyandangrymyheart
real
lywentouttohim.Guy swheny oumar ry
someoney oubecomeoneper sonwhenhe/
sheishappyy oubecomehappyy our
sel
f.When
he/shei ssadyoubecomesadt oo.Iwalkedto
him andheldhimfrom theback.

Ay
anda:
"goi
nsi
deI
nganat
hi"
Me:
"tal
ktomeYandapl
ease"

Ayanda:
"goandsl
eepbhabha,
youwi
l
lcat
cha
fl
u"
Me: "ift
her
aindoesn'
tmakey
ousi
ckdef
ini
tel
y
Iwon'tnami
"

Ay
anda:
"goi
nsi
demaanI
nga!
"
Me:
"pl
easeMt
ungwa,
pleaseKhumal
o,y
ini
Ndlovukhul
umanami (tal
ktome)i tpai
nsme
toseeyouli
kethis,
ifyoudon'
ttal
ktome
uzokhul
umakubani,thi
sisdest
royi
ngour
marri
age,I'
m beggi
ngyou"

Ay
andatur
nedtolookatme"Inganat
hi,t
rust
meyoudon'
twannahearwhatIhavetosay"
Me:
"unf
ort
unat
elyIdo"

Ayanda:"Ishoul
dhav
eknownbet
ter,Ishoul
d
haveknownitwasamist
aket
othi
nkthiscoul
d
workbetweenus"
Me: "whatdoy oumeanYanda"Isaidthatina
ver
ylowt one"areyouleav
ingusAyanda, are
youleav
ingusforanotherwoman?

Iwassof
il
ledwit
hchaoti
cemoti
ons,Icoul
d
feel
mychestgoi
ngti
ghti
nst
antbutIr
efusedt
o
l
ethi
m seehowmuchhewashur
ti
ngme.

Ayanda:
"Ican'tbeyourhusbandI
nganat
hi,
whyareyoupushing?
Me:"becauseIl
oveyouandy
oul
oveme
abov
eallIbel
i
eveiny
ou"

Ayanda:
"I'
mlet
ti
ngy
ougo,
youdon'
tdeser
ve
l
emonsteri
ndi
m"
Me: "y
oudon'
tmeant
hatYanda,t
hethree
year
sIhav
eknownyou,wewereperf
ect"

Ayanda:
"whichi
swhyitwasami st
ake,t
here
i
snosuchthi
ngasper
fect,notwher
eI'
mf r
om"
Me: "i
si tbecauseyouwereathug,isit
becausey oudidn'
thaveanor
mal chil
dhood, i
s
i
tbecausey ouhav egr
ade12,isitbecause
ungunotaxi,t
ellmeAyanda,y
oudon' tdeser
ve
tobehappy,
youdon'tdeserv
eaperf
ectl
i
fe,
youdon'
tdeser
vetobewi thme,t
ell
menow".I
coul
dseehisangergrowing.

Me: ngenxayamaphuphoamambi thenl

i
fe
mustbemi serableandterr
ible"hi
shands
clenchedintofist,hewascl oseenoughto
throwatmebuthedi dn'
t.

Ayanda:"ufunukwazi
nyani
Inganat
hi??He
roar
ed,trut
hbet ol
dIwasscaredoft
heAyanda
Isaw.Inodded.

Ayanda:"I'
m hauntedbydeadpeopl e!!"I
swall
owedhar d"al
l t
hoseIwr ongedInganathi.
Thosenightmaresarenotjustnight
mar es.They
arehorr
ordreamsitsliket
heyar escreaming
behi
ndme.Ther eisalotthatIdidinlif
ebhabha,
Ihavehurtsomanypeopl ebhabhanowI '
m
scaredt oev engotobed" .Hehel dme."Idon' t
wannat hinkabouttheset hingsbuteachand
everymomentatni ghtIdoseet heirfaces, Ido
heart heircri
es"Iwant edt oclosemyear sso
thatIwon' thearmor eofwhathewassay i
ng."
dof eel t
heirpai
n, t
heyar enotr est ed.Why
Inganat hibezovel
anowt hatthingsar estart
ing
tobet hewayengifunakubey iyo.Ineedt hem to
l
eav emeal one.Iwantt oapol ogi set othem for
whatIdi dbuthowdoIdot hatIcantr eachto
them , howdoIdot hatwhent heyar eal langry
atme"

Zangendaxakwakukuphendul
a(Iwas
speechl
ess)
.Hekeptquit
ebutIknewhewasn'
t
done,heturnedawayagai
nandgavemehis
back.

Ay
anda:
"Ihav
eahear
ttoobhabha,
Iwasn'
t
bor
nlikethat,
atfi
rsti
twasnoteasytoseea
per
sont aki
nghisl
astbreat
hinf
rontofmebut
whatchoicedi
dIhave"
Me:
"youhadachoi
ceYanda"

Ay
anda:
"whatf
uckenchoi
cedi
dIhav
e!?

Me: "ngi
thesungimemezangi
yezwa,
khul
uma
kahl
ekeI'm notdeaf
"
Ayanda:"Iwasworkingformybossand
bengasi
neki,i
twasdoordi e.Iwas15butas
ti
megoesi twasl
ikesnappingafinger
"

Itwasreall
ypour
ing,hedraggedmyar m and
l
edmei ntothebedroom ,
het ookoffmygown
casitwaswetandhecar r
iedmet ot
heshower,
wewer ebothqui
teweletthewat err
anthrough
ourbodies,wewerebreathi
ngsameai rand
ther
ewasnospacebet weenus.Mt ungwa
star
tedmov i
ngbet weenmyt highs, heki ssed
myneck, Lorditfeltsogood, Imoaned, he
i
nser tedhi stwof i
nger s,hi sfingerat eme, I
couldf eelmycl imaxbui l
dingup, hepi nnedme
againstt hewal l
,het henswi tchedof fthe
waterandwentonhi sknees.Hel i
ftedmyl eft
l
egandhangi tonhi sshoul der ,heat e
Marhadebeunt i
lshewasl eftwi thnoj uices.He
thencamet omymout h, IstrokeduMt ungwa, I
want edt oeathi m unt i
lhescr eamedmynames,
unti
l hecur sedbutYandahadt of i
rstdoanHI V
andSTDt ests.Ipl
ay edwi thhi m unt il
hecame.

Weshowered,
whenweweredonewewent
backt
othebedroom.Wel
oti
onedi
nsi
l
ent

Me:hecametomeandhuggedmef
rom back"
soy
oudonetal
ki
ng?"
Hetight
enedmyarm "babyy
ouar
ehur
ti
ngme
"Isaid,
hekeepqui
te.

Me: "heyfokofAyanda!
!!Youarehurt
ingme
awuzwa, deal
anezipokizakhoyekel
e
zokhiphel
akimiuy
asangana! !
"Hesnappedout
ofhisthought
s
Me: "khul
umaorulale,y
errr
"heletgoand
wenttothesafehetookoutthegun.Hegaveit
t
omeheputi ti
nmyhandr emovedthesafet
y.

Ayanda:"whentheseguy scomeherethi
s
morning,i
tsyourchoicewhethery
oushoot
them ory
oushooty oursel
f"

Me: "no!
!whatpeopl
ewhatareyoutal
ki
ng
aboutAyanda"Ibr
eathedashor
rorcr
eepedi
n.
Ayanda: helaughed"exact l
y,Ididn'
tshoot
my sel
fIdidn'
twannashootany onebutagai
n
whatchoicedidIhave? ,whatyoumustknowI
oncetri
edt oshootmy selfbecauseIfel
tbad
thatIwasaboutt oshootpeopl e"

Me:
"I'
m gl
ady
oudi
dn'
tYanda"Isai
dfi
ercel
y

Ayanda:"youknowpar tofmythugli
feIt
old
you.Ther
eisanotherpartnooneknowsexcept
formeandMsira"
Me:
"whatar
eyout
alki
ngaboutv
ele"

Ayanda:"Iki
l
ledTaSi
rah"If
rozef
orf
ew
seconds
Me: "y
ourex-boss,
whot
ooky
oui
naf
tery
ou
l
eftMcebi
si'shome?"
Ay anda: "y haa,Ican'tforgett hedayTaSi rah
died.,,
,
, Idon' tknowhowIsur vi
ved, Iwasmeant
todi eint hatspotont hatday .Ican'
tforgethow
Ishoul dhav edi edwitht hem.Al lourcrew
member swer edown12oft hem bhabhaand
onlyt wosur vi
ved, mysel fandMsi ra.TaSirah
wasst il
lbr eathingbutbot hhislegsbezingekho
besisijunqunj e, hebeggedmet oki l
lhim,he
wasi npai ns, Icouldn't,Itri
edt oputagun
undermyj awbutIcoul dn'tpullthetri
gger"

Myhear
tlur
chedatthethoughtofhi
m bei
ngi
n
t
hatmessdeathanddestruct
ional
lar
oundhi
m.

Ayanda:
"Ihadnochoi
cebuttoshoothi
m, he
wasasgoodasdead.I
'
m st
il
ltr
yingt
of i
gur
eit
outhowIsur
viv
ed"
Iwentt
oPaddl
epopandki
ssedherl
i
ps.

Me:"youwer
en'
tmeanttodi
ebhabha,youwe
meantt
oli
vef
orme,forus,f
orourbaby"

Hesmi l
edabitter,
brokenandf ai
ntlysmil
e"
bhabha,whywoul dyouthi
nkt hat,why?Af t
er
every
thi
ngIjustsaidtoyou, aft
erthewayI
spokentoyoutonit
e,aft
erthepainIhav e
causedyouinthepastmont hs"

Me:"youar emyhusband, Isai

dthroughthi
ck
andt
hin,si
cknessandhealthandnowy ouneed
memor ethany ouneededmebef ore.Iwishyou
tr
ust
edmekwaear ly.Asti
tchintimesavesa
ni
neAyanda, y
oushouldknowbet t
er.
Iwi l
lneverjudgey ou, Ient eredthisrelati
onship
, t
hismar r
iageknowi ngy ourpast, I
'
m not
aboutt ojudgey ou.Yesy oudeser veev ery
nightmar ethat'
scomi ngy ourwaycasy ouhav e
takenpeopl e'sli
vesnowweneedawayof
helpingy ououtoft hismi sery, youneedhel p.
FightforusAy anda, fi
ghtf orourbabyandf i
ght
formebhabha.Don' trunawayf rom y our
problem f r
om us, onlycowar dsdot hatIdon' t
remembery oufall
i
ngundert hatcategor y
Mt ungwa, alcoholwillonlymakey ounumbf ora
whi l
etheny oubacki ny ourmi seryafter
somet ime.Sochi nupandIwi l
lbenextt oyou,
suppor t
ingy ouandhol dingy ourhandr ight
away ,Iknowdeepdownusengumunt u,wewi l
l
getthrought hi
s"

Icoul
df eel
hischestpumpingupanddown
rapi
dlyandhiseyesspel
ledHOPE..
Ay
anda:
"itwon'
tbeeasybhabha"
Me:
"whosai
ditwi
l
l"

Ay
anda:
"don'
tyout
hinkIt
ri
ed"
Me:
"doi
tagai
n,f
orusbhabha"

Hel
ookedatmesosi
ncer
ely

Ayanda: "y
ouarestubbor
nMarhadebeyazi
and
thankyousomuchf orwal
kingwit
hme, Ineed
todothis,canweleaveonSundaytoEC"

Me:"ofcour
se,
Ihav
ebeenwai
ti
ngf
ory
out
o
sayt
hat"
Ay
anda:
"thandamf
azi
wam"
Me:
"lov
eyout
oo"
Ay
anda:
"comesl
eepont
opofdaddy"
Me:
"haaaa"

Ayanda:"y
oubett
erhurr
yupbefor
ems
Godzil
l
aachit
hay
onkelontent
endi
zama
uyokha"

Igi
ggl
ed"chaYanda,
don'
tsaymyPaddl
epop
nguGodzi
l
la"

Ayanda:
"zothi
niangabi
nguGodzi
l
laezal
wa
nguMrsGodzil
l
a"

Isul
ked"I
'
mjoki
ng"comeher
e"weki
sseda
l
ongoneandsl
eptont
opofhi
m..
..
I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
06]Mca:
INSERT174

Forachangewesl eptpeacef ull

y,f
ollowingday
Iwasgoi ngtoaccompanyAy andat oourfamil
y
doctor
.Hewokeupbef oreusandt ooka
showerwhenIwokeuphewasbat hingPaddle
popinfactIwaswokenbyt heirnoi
se.Yer rI
haven'
thadt hatbeautif
ul sl
eepi nagesand
ooAyandahadt owakemeupngomsi ndo,I
knowI'm aheav ysleeperbutitwast oomuch
Ayandawassi ngingoutl oud.

Me: "I
'
m st
il
lsleepi
ng,
keepi
tdownIspoke
bet
weenmyt eeth"
Ay
anda:"wakeupbhabha,it
saft
er9Ihav
e
madeanappoi
ntmental
ready"
Me:"chaa,
notnow"Icov
eredmy
sel
fwi
tha
bl
anket"
Ay
anda:
"bhabhawakeup"

Me:
"5mi
nut
esYanda,
yhooo"
Ay
anda:
"usuv
uki
l
enj
e"

Me:
"noI
'
m notbhabha"
Ayanda:
"Paddl
epopngaf
ani
nomhana,
shei
s
cr
azy"

Helaughedloud,
Iwokeup, Iwasr
eal
lycr
oss
ngamgilamasbom ngeny
awo, hemademefl
op
onhislapsi
ncebenabepansi.

Ayanda:
"youtur
nmeonwheny ouar
eangr
y"
hemadeagrowli
ngsound,
Iwantedt
osl
ap
hi
m honestl
ybuthej
ustmakesmyi
nsi
desmel
t
mayeseganga
Me:
"youcr
azywenay
ouneedpr
ayer
s"

Ayanda:"I
'
mi nl
ovewit
hyou,
notevenasi
ngl
e
dayIhav
efall
enoutofl
ovewi
thyou"

Ismi
ledshy
lyasIwasr
elaxi
ngi
nhi
sar
ms
l
ooki
nginhisey
es

Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oobhabha"

Ayanda:"gi
v edaddyhismedici
ne"hebenthi
s
headforakiss,wekissedalongoneunt
ilhi
s
Pri
ncessakhabaamanzi i
nherbathi
ngdi
sh.
Me:"ay
hhhinjeuUbenathimustgot
ohis
gr
andparent
sinKokstad,unomonatoomuch
namiyouar
emyhusbandhhabe"Ihada
ser
iousf
ace,bengi
phakamaf
rom Ay
anda
Ayanda:hesqueezedmybutt
sandbithi
s
l
owerli
psseducti
vel
yandsosi
nfulhi
seyes
werehal
fcl
osed."Youst
il
lmysecondbestgi
rl
i
nthisworl
dLingxi
"

Me:"y
izwanj
eI'
myoursecondbestgal
,
mf
xmm"
Ayanda:"t
hel
astt
imeIcheckedy
ouwere
crosswi
thme,Idi
dn'
tknowyouwereenj
oyi
ng
thi
s"
Me:
"doesi
tmat
ter"Isul
ked

Ayanda:heputat owelontopofthebedand
putUbenathiasshewasdonebat hingahlel
inj
e
emanzini"comeher e"Iwenttohi
m, he
huggedmet it
e,"youdon'thavet
obej eal
ous
Marhadebe, y
ouarebot
hmybestgalssi
yevana
"hesaidthatcuppi
ngmysmal
lfaceonhis
hands
Me:"IknowI
'm nol
ongeryourbestgal
youar
e
j
ustt
ryi
ngtomakemef eel
better
"
Ayanda:"i
sitwor
king"Inoddedl
i
kea5y
ear
ol
dgirl

Ay
anda:
"that
'smyLi
ngxi
"
Me: "arggst
opcal
l
ingmet
hat"Isai
dthat
goi
ngt oshower
.

Whil
eIwasget
ti
ngdr
essedYandawasmaki
ng
abed.

Me:
"Yanda,
Iwi
l
lal
sodot
het
est
swi
thy
ou"
Hel
ookedr
atherpuzzl
ed

Ay
anda:
"why?"
Me: "asar
outi
necheckup,
sincey
ouwi
l
lbe
doi
ngitwhycan'
tIdonami"

Ayanda:"bhabha, comesither e",heparteda

pl
acenexttohim."Imeantt oasky ouand
pl
easengandit
hathi kakubi
,thatdayyoucame
backwithMusoy ouwer egonef oralmost3
hoursandyouwer eatMuso' splace,yourex
andIhaveseenthewayhel ooksaty ouandt he
wayy ouar
ecomf ortablear
oundhi m, i
st her
e
anyt
hingIneedtoknow"
Me:"y
oumeandi
dwehav
esex"

Ay
anda:
"yhaa,
Ineedt
oknowbhabha"
Me:
"thatdayweshar
edonl
yhugsnoMuso,
notev enakiss,Musoi smyPastbhabha, he
wil
l neverbemypr esentnorf uture,wespoke, I
neededsomeonet otalktoat l
easthe
understandsme, heisnotev enawar ewhat
wasgoi ngon, t
heonl ythingheknowsi sthat
mychi ldwasinlifesuppor t
ingmachi nenotwell
asebef i
kaambone, I'
mi nar elati
onshipwi th
younotwi ththewhol ewor l
d, notevenmy
parentsareawar eofwhaty oudi deven
oobabomdal atheyknowhal foft hest or
y"

Ayanda:hesi
gneddeep"Thankyouf
or
pr
otecti
ngourmarri
age,
stay
ingt
ruet
oour
marri
ageandforbei
ngmypill
ar"
Me: "Idon'tneedtoreportyout
oanyone
Ayanda, Iwil
ldealwit
hy ouawundehlul
iand
tr
ustmeI 'm notscar
edofy ouandkicki
ngthat
buttofyours"
Ayanda:"y
ouseewhatI'mt
alki
ngabout,
that
sexi
nesswhenyouser
ious"
Me:
"Godhav
emer
cyt
othi
sfool
"
Ayanda:"heywenabhabha,andi
yont
angakho"
hestar
tedti
ckl
ingme,Il
augheduncontr
oll
abl
e,
Iwascryi
ng,hewasont opofme, mfxmm
agai
nPaddlepopstar
tedmakingbabysounds.

Me:
"ther
egoesbabyGodzi
l
la"

Webot hlaughed.Whenwewer ealldonewe

l
eft.Wear r
ivedkwadokot
elaweexchanged
greeti
ngsheaskedaboutoursexuallyhist
ory,
andasf ormehest i
l
lhadmyr esul
tsf r
om my
gynaeIdidanHI VandSTI
'stestswhileIwas
pregnant.

Thedoct
orpr
ickedourf
inger
sandt
ookour
uri
nesampl es,wewai t
edandt hedoctort
oldus
wewer ebothcleanbuthesai difwewantedit
tobesenttot helabhecandot hatofwhi
chwe
agreed.Bl
oodwasdr awnfrom bothofus,
swabsaswel l f
rom ourgenit
als.Hepromised
tofoneuswhent heresul
tswer eback,wesaid
ourgoodbyesandl eft.

Iwashappyeventhoughweweren'
tgoi
ngt
o
havesext
il
ll
abresult
swereback.

Fol
lowingdaywewerecal
ledwewentt ohis
medicalsui
teandt
hedoctorsaidwewereboth
cl
ean.Wewenthomei twasratherchi
l
ly,

"
Bhabha,
yout
hinkIhav
echeat
edony
ou,
"

Inodded
Ay anda:"bhabhandasindafrom Aidswhi l
eI
wasst i
llr
estl
essndasindafrom having
bunchesofbabi esfr
om dif
ferentmot hers,
trustmeIwi l
lneverputyouatrisknorf uckany
bitch,ndi
kholwe"hesai dt
hatwhi l
ewewer ein
theloungedrinki
ngcoffee.
Me: "doyoubl
amemeaf tery oudrank
ever
ydaysometi
mesy ousleptGodknows
whereandaft
eryourgi
rl
fr
iendorwhatsoev er
phonedmeandswor eatmeev er
ychanceshe
got"

Ay
anda:
"whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout?
"
Me:
"not
hingbhabha"

Ay
anda:
"Inganat
hi,
thet
ha"
It
oldhim ev
ery
thing,hetookmyfoneandr
ead
al
lthesmsesthatIgotfr
om Zameka.

Ay anda: ndi
yanyelwamossapha, I'
m goingto
killt
hatbitch,shehassomef uckenball
sof
foningy ouaft
erIt ol
dhershemustnotdar e
fonemeagai n"her anupst
airsandcameback
wear i
ngabl ackCat er
pil
l
arevanderboot,black
K-wayj eanandbl ackhoodi
e,hecamef oraki ss
, Iduckedmyf ace.

Ay
anda:
"Iwi
l
lseey
oui
nfew"
Me: "ify
oudareleav
ethi
shouseAyandar
est
assuredthatwi
l
lbethedayy
oulastseeme"

Ayanda:
"hayibhabha,Ineedtosortthi
sbi
tch
andi
namfazi
azathukwazizi
febezal
ekapa"
Me:
"justdar
eAy
anda,
thef
ir
stt
imey
oul
eft
thi
shousewear i
nglikethatyoucameback
ukwiwheel chair,thelastti
mey oulef tt
his
housewear inglikethatyoucamebacknegazi
l
omunt uiny ourhands, Zimasa's, goAy anda
andsee, wear ebusyt r
yingtosortthemess
youdidfewy earsbackandnowy ouwannaadd
ontopoft hat, uri
tenjelaekhanda?, Ideal
twith
Zamekai t
sov er,Icanf i
ghtformyownbat tl
es
wit
houtki l
lingany one"

Hel
ookedatmeandcamet
osi
tnextt
ome

Me:
"goandputt
hatgunkwi
saf
e"
Ayanda:wandebangehlo"howdoy ouknowI
haveonecasndiy
ifi
hli
l
e, I
'
m st
arti
ngtothink
thaty
ouareaprophetbutyouarehidi
ngitfr
om
me.
Me: "mf
xmmm, y
oucrazywena"Il
aughed,he
wentupstai
rsandcamebackweari
nghispj
s
Ay anda: "I
'mr eall
ylosingmyt ouchdaybyday,
butI '
m notcompl aining,Il
ovey ou"he
mur muredt helastsent encesof t
lybr
ushi ngmy
l
ipsagai nsthis"wai thereI'm coming, hewent
out sideandst artedtowar mt hepool, hecame
backandpi ckedmeupandwentout side, he
star t
edki ssingmeagai n,het ookallofmy
clothesIwasl eftwithmyunderwearonl yand
withhi sboxeronl y
.Hel edmet othepool he
broughtmecl oserandIwr appedmysmal l
handsi nhiswai st.

Ay anda:"I
'm sodamni nl
ovewithyou"he
slantedhi
smout htocapturemineagainand
kissedmeslowlyashi shandsmov edonme.I
drewabr eat
handhel dit,Idi
dn'
tmov e.Out
tonguestart
edtomi ngle,mychestroseasI
drewabr eat
h.
Ay
anda:
"youmustbecol
d"
Me:
"notr
eal
l
y"

Het ookoffmyunder
wearandhi sboxer,
"bhabha,weareout
side"Isai
dthatbetween
kisses

Ayanda: "inourhomenoti npubl i

candwi t
h
thesewallsther
e'sisnoonewhoi sgoi ngt o
seeus"hesl idonehandi ntomyt reasur e,I
rel
axedallowingmyl egstofallopenandhi s
fi
ngerstof i
ndmysl ick.Hecurl
edt wof ingers
andslippedthem intomyt r
easure, Ipressed
myf aceagainsthisshoulderandwhi sper ed"
bhabha, areyousureaboutt hi
s"heshov edhis
fi
ngersdeeperinsidemeseeki ngthespott hat
wouldmakemescr eam andIdidthat
Ayanda:
"bhabhazokot
husai
zi
njazasenext
door"

Ismiledshy
ly..
.Nothingsat
isf
iesAyandamore
thanmakingmel oosecontr
olandtrustmewith
i
nseconds, Ibackarchedandmybodyt ensed
aroundhisf
ingersasIfoundmyclimax.

Ayanda:"t
hatwasf
ast"hewhi
sper
edi
ntomy
earsandbi
tit
.
Me:
"ubungi
nci
shaangi
thi
?
Ay
anda:
"I'
m sor
r.
..
"

Igrabbedhi
m byt hebackofhisheadandGodI
wantedhimlikeyester
day,
Mt ungwawasready
foracti
on,helif
tedmeandIwr appedmyl egs
aroundhiswaistandwemadeal ongand
steamypool l
ovemaking,webot hcame.We
thenwentdeeperint
othepool sincewewere
starti
ngtobecoldandplayedabi tt
henYanda
drainedwaterandwewenti nsi
de.

"
Aminibr
eakfastt
osayI
'
m sor
ryf
ornegl
ect
ing
y
oubhabhas"

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
07]Mca:
INSERT175

Wewentt otakeashowerandcameback,
Yandastart
edwi thsupper,oobabomdala
arr
ivedl
aterwehadsupperandpackedt he
di
shesafterthedishwasherwasdone.Yanda
wasdonebat hingPaddlepopIf eedherandshe
sl
eptimmediately.Wewer ejustchi
ll
ingi
nt he
l
oungesonke, Iwasresti
ngmyheadonAy anda
'
schest
.Hecl
ear
edhi
sthr
oat
.

Ayanda: "booKhumalo, Ijustwannat hankyou

forsupporti
ngus,forbeingt hereforSimanye
whensheneededy out hemost, Iknowofl at
ely
Ihavebeennothingbutaj erk,I'
mr eal
lygreat
ful
forwhaty oudi
dformef orus"
Mawande:"wedidn'
tdoitf
oryoubutfor
Si
manyeandUbenathi,
whybesizoy
enzel
a
wenauseunj
e?"

Ayanda:
"hay
imar
nWar
aI'
m bei
ngser
ious
here"
Mawande: "bet hankf
ult
oSimany eotherwi
se
thi
nanobat hoselegsofyourswereamputated
wewer en'tgoingtogiveafuckmay be
ubuzotshoubhadl eandyoubetterupyour
gameAy andasoonerorlater
.Someonebet t
er
thanyouwi llcomeandt r
easurehernj
obawena
udlali
sa.Shei snotmat uredf ullyy ettobea
woman, your obbedherof fhert eenhood, she
hasbeennot hingbutav er ysuppor t
ivef r
iend,
gir
lfri
endandawi fefrom t hedaygo.Dontbe
l
ikemeAy anda, l
earnfrom mymi stakes, I
oncehadsomeonewhol ov edme, respected
meandappr eci atedmebutwhatdi dIdoI
thoughtIhadi tal l,IthoughtIhadt heUni verse
i
nmyf uckenhands, Iwasadi ckinst eadof
beengr ateful Ibecameabast ardandsomeone
bettert hanmet ookt hatpr eciousst onefrom
mecasIdi dn'tv al
uei t,whi l
eIwassupposet o
admi re, valuei tandher eIam nowIcan' tfind
someonewhocanl ovemesi ncer ely.Doy ou
thi
nkIdon' twannaset t
ledown, hav eaf ami ly,
doy out hi
nki tsf unt ochangegi r
lslikeI'
m
changi ngmyboxer s,,noitsnot, Imi ghtpr etend
asifi tis,Imi ghtpr etendasi fi tmakesmef eel
l
iket her eallymanbuti fIcanber ealisti
citsnot ,
i
tsonl ymaki ngmeaf ool andanasshol e.Look
atXhant ishemar ri
edKamv a, it
snott hatshe
l
ov esherbutakanachoiceheisgett
ingold.All
I'
mt ryi
ngtosayIngahasf eel
i
ngstool i
key ou,I
knowhowmuchy ouloveherbutdon'ttakeher
forgranted,wewill
alwayssupportyouNdl ovu
butthinkaboutSi
many e,sheneedsy oumor e
thany ouneedher"

Ndumi e: "thi
sisnotameet ing, butwel ove
you, youhav edonesomuchf orust hat 'swhy
wheny ouar ewr ongwewon' tbeatar oundt he
bushessot hethainyani, t
herei snot hingmuchI
woul dsayngaphandl ekoba, Ijusthopewhat
thatguyatt hehospi t
al(Muso)sai dt oy ougot
throughy ourskull"don'tmaket hesame
mistakeIdi d,nowI '
ml i
vingli
fef ullofr egrets.
."
.
Wedon' tsayi ttoyoubutt otell yout het rut
hwe
arelookingupt oy ouandl astborn, howy ou
changedf rom beingat hug, playertobea
responsi bleboy f
ri
end, husbandandf ather,you
broket hatchai nyonyanabakaZanodumoof
gett
ingmarr
iedaf
ter35,youmarri
edyoung
andtoamostgeneroussouldon'
tmessthi
ngs
foryour
sel
f"

Msi ra:"Ay anda, youknowwher ewecome

from, youarey oungert hanmebuty ouareli
ke
theol dbrotherInev erhad, y
outookmei nint
o
yourhome, youguidedme, youprotect
edme
wi t
hev eryt
hingy ouhad, whenIsayTaAy l
aI
sayi tproudlybecauseIam whoIam because
ofy ou.Iknowy oulovel astbornwhateveri
tis
sortitoutbef oreitrui
ny ourmarri
age"

Weallwentsi
l
entaf
tersomet
imeAy
anda
exhal
ed

Ayanda:"eishh,IhavemessedupIknow,I
wassoar r
ogant,
selfi
shandIwasreal
lyadick
thankyouboobhut i
bam f
orbeingt
hereandfor
beingpatientwit
hme, asforyouMar hadebeits
onlyGodwhoknowshowgr at
efulIam for
beingmypi ll
arandt hepill
arforourfamilydon'
t
evergiveuponme, asf oryouMsi r
a, IknowI'
m
yourbossbuty ouar emybr otherabig
brother
,,
,,
"hekeptqui te"Ineedtodowhati s
ri
ghtnow, wear eleavingonTuesdayt o
Cofimvababutwewi l
lfi
rstgotoMat ati
eleand
Kokstad"

Me:
"ar
en'
twel
eav
ingt
omor
rowkant
ibhabha"
Ayanda:"yesli
ngxi,weweresupposetobutI
needtosortf
ewt hi
ngsbeforeweleav
e,I
promiseIwon'
tdoany t
hingstupi
d"
Me:
"youbet
ternot"

Ay
anda:
"toal
lofy
ouguy
sthanky
ou.
Ndumi
e:"any
time"
Ayanda:"Ndu,sani
ify
ouev
erpunchmeagai
n
zawunyasani
"

Ndumi
e: "ndawuskendi
kuphi
nde
mawuphambene"

Wealllaughed, wechattedabouteveryt
hing
l
aughingandt easi
ngeachot her.Wewent
upst
airs,Ayandatookhislaptopanddidwhat
hewasdoi ngofwhi chIdidn'
tknow, onethi
ngI
knewIwast i
redIonlyneededmybed.

Ayanda: "SHI
TT!!
,bhabhaIhaven'
tbeenpay
ing
mydr i
versandmam Vuy i
sekaf
orthepast
2months, f
uckwhathaveIdone"hecursedi
n
fr
ustr
ation
Me:
"nodon'
twor
ryi
tsal
lsor
ted"
Ay
anda:
"whatdoy
oumeancomel
ookher
e"
Me: "Ididbhabha,
thetaxisthatwereduef or
serv
icealldonemam Vuyisekadone, ever
ythi
ng
angit
hiyouturnedmeintonot eksi
kazi"
Ayanda:hay
isukani
madoda, ndiphet
hea
superwomanhere,asupernoteksi
kazi"
Me:If r
owned"don'tst
artAyandat
hisissuei
s
rat
hersensi
ti
vewetalki
ngaboutsal
ari
es
zabant
u"

Ayanda:"xol
okebhabha,wher
edidyouget
themoney,Ihopey
oudidn'
tuseyourmoney"

Me: "ni
pIdidn'
tbutift
hepushcamet oshoutI
wasgoingtouseit,
Iwasnotgoi ngtohavea
choi
ce,Iusedtheothercardthatyougaveme
soyoudon'thavet
owor ry"thefooldi
dn'
teven
not
icet
henot
if
icat
ions
Ayanda:"Iwil
ltr
ansferal
lthemoneyy ouused,
thatcar
disyoursnotforourbusi
nesses"
Me:
"itdoesn'
tmat
termaanbhabha"

Ay
anda:
"hay
ibhabha"

IknewIwasnotgoi ngt owinthatsoIletitbe,I

updatedhi
m aboutev eryt
hinghewant edto
knowwhi l
eIwasi ncharge.TrustAyandahe
knewhisbusinesseslikethebackofhi shand.
Heshowedmeal lhisaccountsthepasswor ds
i
ncaseany thi
nghappensbutt hereweretwo
accountsthathedidopen.

Me:
"andt
heseYanda"
Ay
anda:
"Il
ovey
ouy
ayazi
andi
thi
"
Me:"yesbut..
"Heki
ssedmymout
hIguessi
t
wast
osilenceme,Il
etitbe.

Ayanda:"i
fthi
ngsgothi
swayI'
m pl
anni
ngt
o
i
nvesti
nPropert
y"hesmiled
Me:
"that
'sagoodi
dea"

Itwasaf
ter1am whenwegotinbed,
we
chatt
edabitt
il
lwefel
lasl
eep.

>>>>>>>>>

Iwokeupar ound6am ,Iwasstil

lonYandas
chest,It
ri
edt or
ollof
ffrom hi
m buthe
ti
ghtenedhi
shandsar oundme.
Ay
anda:
"Yaphi
bhabha"
Me:
"Ineedt
opeeYanda"

Heletgo, Iwenttodomybusi nessandcame

back.Ifellasl
eepagain.WhenIwokeupYanda
wasnott here,Istr
etchedmyhandndajonga
i
xesha,i twasafter11.Ist
oodupandmadet he
bed,whenIwashal fdone,Ayandacamein
carr
yingPaddlepopt heyweredonebathi
ngas
usualtheywerebabbl i
ngandgiggl
i
ng,carry
ing
shoppingbags.

Ok, l
etmej ustsayTotiboughtusaPr am f
or
Paddlepopbutnotev enasingledayndake
ndayibonaisebenzi
swa.Yandaprefertocarr
y
hisl
ittl
ePrincessngebabycarri
eroramguge
soev enthatdayhewascar ryi
ngherinababy
carr
ier.
Ay
anda:
"Li
ngxi
kadaddy,
hecamef
oraki
ss"
Me:
"ar
gggmaanYanda"Ibl
ushed
Ay
anda:
"Il
ovey
ou"

Ismi
l
ed.

Me:
"wher
ear
eyouf
rom soear
ly?
Ay
anda:"i
tsaf
ter11bhabha,
,
,fr
om Canal
Walk"

Me:
"todowhatt
her
e?"
Ayanda:
"goandbat
h,wear
egoi
ng
somewhere"
Me:
"si
yakuphi
"Ir
aisedmyey
ebr
ow

Ay
anda:
"it
sasur
pri
seLi
ngxi
,goandbat
hwi
l
l
pr
epar
eyourcl
othesf
orsol
ong"
Me:
"ok"

Iwentt
oshowerthencameback,ont
opofthe
bedwasmyshortpowderbl
ueandwhit
edr
ess
whit
esandal
from Al
do.

Me:
"andt
hese?"Inev
erboughtt
hese
Ayanda:
"yesy
oudi
dn'
t,wedi
dnoPaddl
epop
"

Me:
"when?"
Ay
anda:
"anhourago"

Il
ookedaty ourclosetandyoudi
dn'
thavewhat
IhadI'
m mindf orthi
sdaysomnanoPaddl ewe
aresor
ted.Ilookedatthem mfxmm ,
theywere
socute.Yandawaswear i
ngawhitel
inenlong
tr
ouserandapowderbl uegol
ft-shi
rt,Paddl
e
popwhiteli
tt
leleggi
nsandapowderblue
gardenpart
ydressandawhi t
eheadband.

Me:
"whendi
dyougett
odr
essi
nthose"
Ayanda:"si
nxi
bel
eeshopbhabha,
Itol
dthem
si
zozinxi
bel
aphay
a"
Me: Il
aughed"y
ouarereal
l
ycrazy"Ichecked
i
nsideshoppi
ngbags,i
zi
ngubozabower ether
e
bebehambebezi
gqoki
l
e.Igotdr
essed.

Me:"maar
aYanda"Iwasl
ooki
ngatmy
sel
fin
t
hemir
ror
Ay
anda:
"yi
nibhabha"

Me:
"Il
ookl
i
keI
'
m 17i
nthi
sdr
ess"
Ayanda:"t
hat
'sther
easonIchoseit,
Iknew
youwil
lbemyLingxi
inthatdr
ess"
Me:
"st
opcal
l
ingmet
hatYanda"

Idi
dmyhai
randabi
tofmakeup.

Me:
"I'
m done"
Ay
anda:
"good,
let
'sgo

Me:
"I'
m hungr
yYanda"
Ay
anda"don'
twor
ryaboutt
hati
tssor
ted
Me:
"mybag"
Ay
anda:
"don'
twor
ry,
leav
eit"
Me:"butIcan'
tgowi
thouti
tmyi
nhal
ersar
e
t
her
e"
Hepull
edmecl
osert
ohi
m andmademel
ook
athi
m

Ay
anda:
"tr
ustme,
wil
lyou"
Me:
"ok"Ismi
l
edshy
ly

Wewentdownst air
sandgotout, hearmedthe
alar
m andlocked, weleft,wedrovepassSea
side,Ihadnoideawher ewewer egoing,he
drovesazesayofikaeMel kbosst
rand,wedrov
e
toAtlant
icbeachhot el
,helookedfort
he
parki
ngandgoti t.

Me:
"whatar
ewedoi
ngher
e?"
Ayanda:"I
'mt aki
ngmyf amil
youtforadayand
i
tsnight
,hepressedf
ort hebootonthekey
whil
ehewasunbucklingPaddlepop, Ipeeked
onthebootandourov erni
ghtbagswer ether
e,
ok.
..

Me:
"your
eal
l
ypl
annedt
his,
I'
mimpr
essed"
Ay
anda:
"I'
m her
etopl
easeMadam Khumal
o".

Me:"buti
tsawasteofmoneybhabha,
I'
myour
wi
fe,
youdon'
thavetodothi
s"
Ayanda:"exact
lymywi f
e,whateverI
'm doi
ng
I
'm doi
ngformywife,that'
snotawasteof
money, i
fIdon'
tdoforyouzoyenzel
abani.

Me:
"butIknowy
oul
oveme"
Ayanda: "bhabhaonet hingIdon'tdoubti
smy
l
ovef orit'
ssost r
angehowy ourl
ovehas
di
scipli
nedmebutIdon' twannaget
comfortabl ewit
hy ou,Ineedt oupmygame
al
way s, casifIdon'tsomeonewi ll,i
t'
sbeena
whil
esi ngaphumi andIdon' twantyoutoforget
t
heTaAy
lay
ouf
ell
inl
ovewi
th"
.

Me:
"thanky
ouMt
ungwa"
Ay
anda:
"don'
tst
art,
asi
l
il
itoday"
Me:I'
m notbhabha"Isai
dthatwi
pingmy
t
ear
s..
..

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
08]Mca:
INSERT176

#Snack-
anyanaI
'
m notbacky
etbhabhas,
missi
ngyou#

Wewentt ot
herecept
ion,Ayandahadmade
thebookingsalr
eadywecheckedinandwe
weregivenourkeycardsandthesecur
it
ytook
ourbagst ooursui
te,Ayandati
ppedhi
m and
hel
eft
.

Hecall
edf orr
oom ser
viceandourfoodcame,
weate, Paddl
epopkeptongrabbingAyanda'
s
vi
enna,hegaveher.

Me:"bhabhadon'
tgi
vei
ttoher,
shei
sgoi
ng
t
ochoke"
Ay
anda:
"shewon'
tbhabhar
elax"

WhenweweredoneAyandawentdownst
air
s
andhecamebackl
ater
.

Ay
anda:
"bhabha,
comewi
thme"
Me:
"wher
ear
ewegoi
ng"
Ay
anda:
"wegoi
ngf
orapi
cni
c
Me:
"kuphi
?"(wher
e)
Ay
anda:
"ebeach"
Me: "andwhataboutPaddl
epop,i
sshenot
tooyounguyangasol
wandleandwher
ear
ewe
goingtogett
hingsf
orpicni
c"
Ayanda:"don'
tworr
yaboutthat,
itssor
tedand
Paddlepopisgoi
ngtobefi
ne"

Ihesit
atedbutIhadt otr
ustAy anda.Wewent
downstair
sandhepi ckedupapi cnicbasketful
l
ofgoodies,therewer ealsot owelsand2
thr
ows, wedi dn'tneedanumbr ell
acasi twas
notthathot.Wewal kedtot hebeach, there
werefewpeopl emi ndingtheirownbusi nesses
andwedi dourt hingnathi.

WeplayedinthesandwithPaddl
epopwebui l
t
al
lsor
tofthingswecouldbuil
d,weforgotthat
Paddl
epopwasnotev ensixmonthsoldshe
wasalsointhesandal
elengomqolo(sleepi
ng
onherback)wet
ookfotos,whil
ewewer esti
l
l
pl
ayi
ngaroundAy
anda'sfonerang,helooked
atmeandanswer
edandputitonl oudspeaker
.

Ay
anda:
"Tot
isawubona"
Tot
i:"YeboAy
andani
njani
"
Ay
anda:
"fi
net
hanxandy
ouTot
i"
Tot
i:"good,
Ihav
ebeent
ryi
ngt
ocal
lAngel
wherei
sshe"
Ay
anda:
"shei
sher
eTot
i"
Tot
i:"whyi
sshenotpi
cki
ngupherf
one"
Me:
"hel
l
owTot
i"
Toti:
"y eboAngel
,whyar
en'
tyouanswer
ing
yourfone?"
Me:
"ikudeki
miTot
i,Idi
dn'
theari
tri
ngi
ng"
Tot
i:"ni
kuphi
kant
i"
Me:
"pi
cni
cTot
i,ebeach"
Tot
i:"wher
eisPaddl
epop?"
Me:
"shei
sher
ewi
thus"
Toti:
"olwandlenengane?,areyoubot
houtof
yourminds?,isshewarm?, l
et'
shopei
ngane
yamiayil
i
liyodwaepram-i
ni"

Wekeptqui
te

Tot
i:"Angel
"
Qui
te
Tot
i:"Ay
anda"
Qui
te,
Ayandal
ookedatme,hhabe,
Iwasnot
goi
ngt
oanswerIshr
uggedmyshoul
der
s

Tot
i:"ndi
yav
elel
way
ini
,Khul
umani
,i
kuphi
i
nganeyami"
Ay
anda:
lowv
oice"shei
snoti
nthePr
am Tot
i
butwear
epl
ayi
ngwi
thherher
eint
hesand"
Tot
i:"i
nthesand?Ni
phi
l
il
ekahl
elaekhanda?
Us:qui
te
Tot
i:"i
zenj
elonganei
gul
eni
zongazi
"

Wel
ookedateachot
her

Toti
:"whenarey
oucomingt
hissi
de,ar
en't
yousupposet
obedr
ivi
ngdownalr
eady?"
Me: "YesToti
butwenotcomi ngtodaybut
kusasokuny
e(nextweekTuesday)si
nceitwas
Sunday"

Tot
i:"ok,
Iwasj
ustchecki
ngupony
ou,
enj
oy
kebabi
es"
Us:
"thansTot
i"
Tot
i:"l
ovey
ounobat
hat
huandpl
easet
ake
car
eofmybaby"
Us:
"wel
ovey
out
ooTot
i"

Ayandadr oppedthecall
,wegiggled, we
conti
nuedwi t
hwhatwewer edoingi twas
gett
inglat e, wereal
l
yhadf un,
wef orgotabout
ever
y t
hingt hatwehavebeenthrough, i
twas
j
ustthet hr eeofus.Paddlepopst artedsucki
ng
hertwof ingerandr ubbi
ngherey eswi thher
smallhands.

Ay anda:"let
'sgobhabha,it
sget t
ingcol dand
youknowwhati tmeanswhenPaddl epop
star t
stosuckherfi
ngers,wecol l
ectedour
thingsandwentbackt othehotel,Ay anda
bat hedPaddl
epopandf edhermi nutesl at
er
shedozedof f.Wechil
ledandatewehad
supperandwentt obed<3scr atchthatwef ir
st
hadaKhumal odance,youallknowt he
Khumalodancekepeopl
e,wehadat
least2
roundsandsl
ept.

Fol
lowingdayi twasMonday,wetookashower
bathedPaddlepopandwentf orbr
eakf ast,I
packedourthingswhenIwasdonewechecked
outanddrovehome.Justf ewminutesafterwe
arr
ived,Ir
eceiv edacal
lfr
om MrCoetzee's
off
iceatCput, hewantedtoseemeur gentl
y,I
ki
ssedYandaandl ef
t.

Ay
anda:
"dr
ivesaf
ebhabha"heshout
edaf
ter
me"
Me:
"Iwi
l
l"Ishout
edback

Iarr
ivedatCputandwenttoMrCoet
zee's
off
iceanddidwhathecall
edmeforaft
eran
hourIlef
t.IwentpassBel
l
vil
l
eIwant
edZebros
meat, Iusedtoliketheirmeatbutof flat
ely
ngathi bayayi
robhaay isekhomnandi asitused
to.Iboughthal fchickenIwasgoi ngt oeati t
alonecasAy andanobabomdal ahatedi t
.I
decidedt ogot oEdgar satVoor t
rekkerRoad, I
want edt obuyasnuggl euppill
owsi ncepaddl e
popbesezamauf unuzihlal
ela.AsIwasent eri
ng
thest oresomet hingcaughtmyey e, Imoved
backIdi dn'tr
ealizeIwasst arri
ng.

Guy:
"canIhel
pyousi
si"
Qui
te
Guy:
"si
si,
"
Ikeptqui
test
il
l
Guy:
"ist
her
eanypr
obl
em ?
?"
Me: Isnapped"no,notatall,
I'
m sorr
y"Iwent
i
n,Icompletel
yfor
gotwhatIwentt obuy
exactl
y,Itr
iedsohar
dtor ecal
lbutnot
hing.
Mf xmm Ilef
tandwalkedtomycar .Idrov
eof f
l
isteni
ngtoMet r
ofmj ustwhenIofframpedat
Platt
erkl
oofRoadIremember edwhatIwentt o
buyatEdgar smfxmm Idrovestr
aighthome,
Yandawasbusypacki ngourclot
hesplaying
withPaddlepopatthesamet imeIstoodinthe
doorandlookathim.

Ay
anda:
"heybhabha,
arey
ouok?
"
Ij
ustst
oodt
her
e
Ayanda:
"bhabha"hecamet
omeandl
edmet
o
bed.
Ayanda:
"whatiswrongI
nganat
hi,
tal
ktome,
whyareyousopal
e"

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
09]Mca:
INSERT177
Ay
anda:
"whati
swr
ongbhabha"
Me:
"ar
eyoust
alki
ngmeYanda?
"
Ayanda:"whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
I
nganathi
?"
Me:
"Isawy
ouatEdgar
sAy
anda"

Ayanda:"whi
chEdgar
s?Whatar
eyouon
about?
"
Me:
"don'
tdenyi
tAy
anda,
Isawy
oui
nBel
l
vil
l
e"
Ayanda:"whatwasIdoingi
nBel
l
vil
l
e, Ihar
dly
gothere,ndi
yigqi
bel
ekul
any
akawhil
eIwas
st
il
lstal
ki
ngy ou"
Me:
"IswearIsawy
ouAy
anda"

Ay
anda:
"ar
eyour
eal
l
yokbhabha"

Hehel
dmyf
orehead,
Ilookedup,
Godwhat
washappeni ngwi t
hmehonest l
y,Iwasnot
dreami ng, nei
thercrazymay bethatwasnot
Ayanda. .
..thatguydidn'thavearesemblenceof
Ayandaoroobabomdal abuthewast herepli
ca
ofAy andat heonlydifferencewasthathewas
notast allasAy anda, hewaswear i
nga
Securityuniform whichmeanshewaswor ki
ng
there.Isighed.

Ayanda:"t
alktomeI
ngawhatmadey
out
hinkI
wasinBell
vi
ll
e?"
Me:
"doy
ouhav
eay
oungerbr
other
?"
Ayanda:
"nobhabha,
I'
mthel
astbor
nathome
"
Me: "thewomanyourf
atherbehl
ali
sananay
o,
akananganenay
o?"
Ay
anda:
"no"
Me:
"ar
eyousur
e?"
Ay
anda:
"yes,
whati
sitkant
i?"
Me: "bhabha,IswearIsawumuntuofana
nawencamashi ,thecomplet
ion,
thebracket
s
butshort
erthanyou"
Ayanda:ar
gggg,
abant
ubay
afanabonke
bhabha"
Me: "IfIdi
dn'
tknowIwasgoi
ngt
osayhei
s
yourchil
dbhabha"
Ayanda:"t
hat'si
mpossibl
e,hei
snotmychi
l
d
andtai
maalinangcosi
phandl
e"
Me:
"ok"

Helookedatmeasi fiwascrazy,wasI?Lord
whatwashappeningwithme, wasIlosi
ngmy
mind?,wasIseeingthi
ngsthatdon'
texist
?,
wasIdreaming?,wasIheadingforbreakdown
?Iwassoconf used,myheadwasspi nning.
Me:
"Ihav
eaheadacheYanda"

Hestoodupandwentt
ot hemedici
necabi
net,
hegaveme2panadosItookthem.

Me:
"am Ist
art
ingt
obecr
azyYanda"
Ayanda:
"lal
akanci
nci
bhabha,
youwi
l
lbef
ine
"

Hebroughtmeclosertohim andbr
ushedmy
backIdozedoffi
mmedi at
ely
.Iwokeupanhour
l
ateri
nfactAy
anda'sfonewokemeup

Me: "Yanda, yourfone"hedidn'

trespondI
l
ift
edmyheadandst ret
chedmyhandt o
answeri t,yhoooitwasLomzi ,Iwassonot
goingt otalktoher.Iwentdownstair
s
ngiyomni ka.Hefoneherback,hewassuppose
togoandf
etchamalaphu(fabr
ic)f
ormakhul
u
kuLomzii
nNyanga.Hekissedmethenki
ssed
Paddl
epopandlef
t.

Aftersomet i
mePaddl epopst ar
tedcr ying, I
tri
edt ocal m herIt houghtt hatyat et
emasi nce
Yandaangekhobutchai nganey ami i
bingazwi l
e
yaqinisa.Bengat hi ufeverishkemanj ehhabe
kant ii
nganei njani i
bari
temanj einf ewmi nute
i
sigula.It r
iedtof eedherbutbengaf uneni x,I
thoughtmay beshecaughtaf luont hedayy e
picnic, Itr
iedmyl evelbestt ocalm herbuti t
didn'twor k,besebashushu.Igav eheraPanado
i
nst eadofi mlalisebingat hiif
akamor eener gy
hayikewhatwasIt odo. .
..ngizomphuzi sat he
whol ebot tl
ekemi na(j oking).Shehadhi ccups
Icoul dn'tt
akei tbutngancedi sangal il
anami .I
fonedAy anda,Ir eall
ydidn'tknowwhatt odo.
Ayanda:"bhabha,
whatisgoi
ngont
her
e,why
Paddlepopali
l
akangaka"

Ikeptqui
te

Ayanda:"Inganathi
whathav
eyoudone
emtaneniwam! !
"

Isni
ff
ed

Ayanda:
"Inganat
hi!!Thet
hawhati
sgoi
ngon
andwhyareyoualsocryi
ng?
Me: "nguUbenat
hibhabha,
shewon'
tkeep
qui
te"
Ayanda: "don'
tdropt
hefone,I
'
m comingnow"
Ihear
df ootst
epsandthewayhewasbreat
hing
overthefoneibi
vakal
a,hewasrunni
ng.
Ay
anda:
"tal
ktomemf
azi
wam "
Me:
"Idon'
tknowshehasbeencr
ying"
Ay
anda:
didy
ouf
eedher"

Inodded

Ay
anda:
"bhabha!
!"
Me:"It
ri
ed,butakaf
unikudl
a,shekeepson
r
ubbi
ngherf
acebutther
eisnorash"
Ay
anda:
"di
dyouchangehernappy?"
Me:
"yesYanda!
!
Ayanda:"sudikwabhabha,I
'
m wor
ri
ed,Paddl
e
pophardl
ycries,okIwi
llbet
her
ein15minut
es
ke"
Me:
"ok"
Idroppedthecal
l,ay
hhi
njeIl
ethercr
y,
bengizot
hini
ke.

Ayandawalkedinazil
ilel
ainthecouchnami
ngi
zil
il
ela,
Itr
ied,hepickedherupandcameto
ki
ssmycheek, hetr
iedt ocal
m herbutni
x.

Ayanda: "sheistoohotbhabha"hewent
upstair
sIfoll
owed, het ookoffherclothesand
bathherincoldwater.Hel ot
ionedherand
dressedherinli
ghtclothes.Shekeptqui te
nobushushubesebehl a.Shefinal
lyfell
asleepi
n
Yandaschest.Mfxmm bengi zokwazi njani
.

Wehadsuppert
henwenttobedaround9si
nce
wewerel
eavi
ngfol
lowi
ngday.Paddl
epop
wokeupar
ound10kwasukalokho,Iwast
ir
ed
mina.Ay andadideveryt
hinghecouldbut
betetemanj euPaddl
epop.Shewasdr ooli
ng
toomuch.Shewasr ubbinghergumsin
anythingshecangethol dofngezandl
azakhe
ezi
ncane.Ay andatri
edtocheckwhatwas
wrongwi thhergumsi nsteadsherubt
hem on
Ayanda'sfinger
.

Ay
anda:hol
dherbhabha,
Iwannagoandwash
myhandsfi
rst
"

Itookherandhewenttowashhishandsand
cameback.Hekeptonr ubbi
nghergums,it
seemedhelpingbutshewasexcessi
vel
y
drool
ing.

Ayanda: "weneedtot
akehert
othe
Pediatri
ciant
omorr
owbhabha,
somethi
ngi
sso
notright"
Wewer eupt hewhol enightIwassodamnt i
red.
Foll
owingdaywebat hedandt ookPaddlepop
toPediatri
cian.Wewentt oTee'smedical suite,
weexchangedgr eetingsandAy andaexplained
thereasonwhywewer ether
e.Heexami nedher ,
smi l
edandexpl ainedthatshewast eet
hing.He
i
nst r
uctedust obuygauzepadst orubher
gumshesai devent hef i
ngerwasf i
neasl ong
asitwascl ean, hesaidwecanusesol i
d
objectl
ikespoonsorhar dobjectli
kecarrots.

Heemphasi zedthatwemustal waysdryher

droolast
opr eventrashandi r
ri
tati
on.Hegave
usacetaminophentogi veher.Wehadt ostay
fortwomor edayssoi nsteadofleavi
ngon
Tuesdaywel ef
tonFr idayasearlyas4:00am.

WeusedN1i
twasf
ineupunt
ilGr
aafRei
net,
thepr obl
em wasuYandaf r
om GraafReinet
bethathaICradockandmi naIneverusedN1
butN2butwemanagedt ogettoMol t
eno,,
R56
toIndwe, wepassedfewmor esmal l
towns
thentoMacl ear,
westoppedatthepet r
ol
stati
ont oref
il
l,
Iwassodamnt i
redIhavebeen
driv
ingsinceGodknows, Paddl
epopngul o
betetemasoYandahadt oatt
endtoher
bengat hiy
ezwamay esuzwaezandleni.

Me:
"bhabha,
youowememy
eni
wami
"
Ay
anda:
"yesl
ove3r
ounds"
Me:
"gr
ossbhabhanott
hat"
Ay
anda:
"letmeguessashoeorabag"
Me:
"youknowmebet
ter"
Ayanda:"butsomeoft
heshoesawuzi
nxi
bi
nozi
nxi
ba"
Me:
"Idomy
eni
wam "
Ayanda:"Ioweyou,andt
hanky
ouf
or
ev
erythi
ngbhabha"

Wehittheroadagainandar r
ivedinKokstad
aft
er8pm.OoTot i
wer ewait
ingforusasusual
mymot herscreamed, hehuggedAy anda,
ki
ssedmeandhugged, Idi
dn'twannaletgo,
i
tsbesohar dforme. .t
hepastfewmont hs
werehell
,Ireal
lyneededmymom ' sar ms,
ngayi
dedelaiAmazon.

Tot
i:"kwasukakel
okho,
itsokmyAngel
mom
i
shere"

Iwantedtot
ellherever
ythi
ngwhilewewere
st
il
loutsi
debutheybizezomuziwam.Ithen
wenttodad,huggedhim andhekissedt
hetop
ofmyhead.Itsfunnyhowt i
mefl
ies.
Ijustt
houghtofmy selfwhenIfir
stlef
tmy
parentsgoi
ngt oboardingschoolat15and
thereIwascomi ngbackhomewi thahusband
andachi l
dalmost22y ear
soldmf xmm l
if
e
kodwa.TotitookPaddlepop

Toti:"hel
lowena, hell
owgr andmom ' sAngel.
DadandAy andatookourthingsinside.Iwas
real
l
yt i
red, wechatt
ednott hatbesihoyiwe
daddyandTot iwerebusyadmi ri
ngt helazy
Paddlepopbesev uki
lebutinganey ami i
nonya
shame.

Me: "l
et'
sgoandt akeashowerasihoywanga
apha"IwhisperedtoAyanda,wegotupand
tookashowerandwentt othekit
chen,I
warmedourf oodthatwasinthemicr
owave,
weateinonepl at
e, mostoft
hetimewedo
that
.Nkosiyami .,
wewer esoi
nvisi
ble.Il
ooked
atmypar entsitpainedmetoseethewayt hey
adori
ng,admi r
ingPaddlepop.

Ayanda:"l
et'
sgot
obedI
'
m sur
eyouar
eti
red
bhabha"
Me:
"andUbenat
hi?
"
Ayanda:"nobhabhanotnow,don'
ttakeher
basabond-aoobaba,
I'
m sur
eTotiwil
lbri
ngher
kuthi
masebelal
a"

Wesaidgoodni
tesandwentt
omybedroom.
Ayandagav
emeamassaget henIsl
eptont
op
ofhim.

Me:
"bhabha,
doy
oul
oveme?
"
Ayanda:
"Iloveyoubhabha,
youknowt
hat,
whyareyouaski
ng?"
Me: "i
fI'
m unablet
obeary
oumor
eki
ds,
are
yougoingtoleav
eme? "
Ayanda:"no,noInganat
hi,don'
teversayor
eventhi
nkaboutt
hatbhabha,I'
m notgoi
ng
anywhere,Il
ovey
ouMar hadebe"

Hehel
dmet
it
eandwef
ell
asl
eep

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
09]Mca:
INSERT178

Fol
l
owingday
,Ay
andawokemeup.Mf
xmmm i
t
wasaf
ter6

Ay
anda:
"bhabha"
Me:
"mhmmm"
Ay
anda:
"bhabhav
uka,
uPaddl
epop,
I'
m sur
e
oobabaar
emadatus"
Me:
"noYanda,
I'
mti
red,
mybodyi
ssosor
e"
Ay
aanda:
"kubuhl
ungukuphi
"
Me:"mywhol
ebodyissor
eYanda,
angi
thi
you
mademedr
iveal
ltheway"
Ayanda: "IknowLi
ngxi
,ifIknewpaddl
epop
bezotet
emasowewoul dhav etakenaf
li
ght,
I
'm sorr
y"
Me: "i
tsyourf
ault,i
fubungamfundi
sanga
i
zandlauUbenathinoneofthi
swouldhave
happened"
Ay
anda:
"hay
ibhabhashei
smyonl
ychi
l
d"
Me:"andI'myouronl
ywif
edon'
tfor
gett
hat
,
anddon'
tfor
getyoupromi
sedmeashoeanda
bag"
Ayanda:"I
'
mr egr
ett
ingt
hisal
ready
"hespoke
betweenhi
steet
h
Me:
"ngi
yezwanj
aloYanda"
Ayanda:"I
'
mjoki
ng,
vukaphel
ayobheka
uPaddl
epop"

Iwentt
omypar
ent
s'sbedr
oom andknocked

Dad:
"comei
n"
Me:
"sani
bonani
"
Dad:
"yeboAngel
howdi
dyousl
eep?
"
Me:
"kahl
ebabaandy
ou"
Dad:"notqui
tegoodPaddl
epopcr
iedal
most
hal
foftheni
ght"
Me:
"whydi
dn'
tyouwakeusdad?"
Dad:
"si
thi
sikwenzel
ani
lokho"
Tot
i: "uy
aqhumi
sa(t
eet
hing)butIgother
medicati
on"
Me:
"thanst
oti
,di
dshebat
handeat?
"

Tot
ilaughedatme

Tot
i:"y
oungl
ady,
youar
emydaught
erangi
thi
?"
Me:
"yebot
oti
"
Tot
i:"goandsl
eepkemyAngel
"

Igi
ggl
ed

Me:
"oksal
ani
ke"
Toti
:"ningenzi
ezi
nyei
nganel
apho,
usemncaneuPaddl
epop"
Me:
"ahhht
oti
"
Tot
i:"Imeani
tnj
alo"sheshout
edbehi
ndme
Me:
"I'
m notl
i
steni
ng"Isai
dthatshout
ingback

Igoti
nbed

Ay
anda:
"wher
eisshe"
Me: "sl
eepi
ngwithhergr
andparent
s,bat
hishe
cri
edalmosthal
foftheni
ghtbuttot
igoti
t
covered"
Ay
anda:
"Imi
ssmyAngel
"
Me:
"I'
m her
e"
Ay
anda:
"noty
ou"
Me:
"oh"Isul
ked
Ay
anda:
"I'
mjoki
ng,
comegi
vedaddyaki
ss"
Me:
"si
esgoandwashy
ourmout
hfi
rsty
anuka
"
Ay
anda:
"heywenabhabha
Het
ickl
edme

Ay
anda:
"ki
ssme"
Me:
"noYanda"

Heti
ckl
edmehar
der,
Iscr
eamedandl
aughed
har
d

Me:
"awunuki
keTaKi
l
ler"

Hekeptonti
ckli
ngme, Ilaughedhar
der,
daddy
shout
edfr
om theirbedr
oom.

Dad:"y
ouaremakingnoi
seni
nangal
apho
ni
zov
usaingane"
Wel
ookedateachot
herandwebot
hgi
ggl
ed

Me: "it
sy ou"Ithrewapil
lowonAyanda,
he
throwitback,wepl ay
ed,wewereboth
standi
ngsi bet
hanangemicamel
onotreal
izi
ng
thatdadwasont hedoor

Dad:
"Ay
anda!
!Si
nenhl
anhl
a!!Ni
yasangana

Wel
ookedateachot
herandl
aughed

Dad: "ncincinci.Thet
helelaJehova
kulezizi
lima"hecl osedthedoorifyouthi
ngwe
stoppedt heny outhoughtwr ong,weplay
ed
untilIhitthecornerofadr essi
ngtabl
enge
ndololwana(anel bow)thatwast heendoft
he
game.
Wesl eptagainandwokeupaf t
er9, Totiwas
donebat hingandfeedingPaddl epop.Wehada
breakfast.Weallchil
ledinthelounge, Iwas
sit
ti
ngonmydad' slapuntilMsGodzi l
lawoke
upshest artedcryi
ng, shestret
chedherar ms
fordadt ocarryher.

Me: "chaaa!
!!Angizodlal
auPaddl
epopl
a
unobabakhewhyv eleazobanomonango
Ayandanobabami ,cha"
Tot
i:"Angel
umonangowani
,shei
sjustaki
d"
Me:"namiIam andthi
sismyhome,shei
s
ev
erj
ealousofAyandanowmydad"

Dadpickedherupandshekeptquite,Iwentto
thebedroom ngazi
phonsaphezukombhede
hhabebengil
ingavel
euPaddlepop.Ay anda
wal
kedi
n

Ayanda:"bhabha,areyouok"Ikeptquit
e"You
arebei
ngunfairMarhadebe,
sheisjustakid
comehere"hehuggedme

West ay edthewholeday, around3pm Iasked

Ay andat odropmeatShay amoy aatHlengie's
place(Msi r
a'sgir
lfr
iend)butheal sowant ed
togosowel ef
tooToti di
dn'tmindbaby si
tt
ing
ausi Nt soakibakhonanay eandPaddl epop
benguncanegr andparentszakhe.West ayedat
Hlengi ef or3hoursandl eftwewentv iaspur
andor deredat akeawayandwentbackhome.
Wehadsupperandwentt obedaf ter11pm.

Fol
l
owingmorni
ngweweregoi
ngtoMat at
iel
e,
webat
hednoYandaandmadebreakf
astToti
wasst
il
lbusywi
thPaddl
epopshecal
ledus
andwewentt oherbedr
oom shewasplay
ing
wit
hPaddlepopandshewasgi ggl
i
ng.Totiwas
ti
ckl
ingheremqaleni
.

Tot
i:"bukani
(look)"
Me:
"what?
"

Shegi ggledagain, thetwobottom f r

ont
teeth(cent r
ali
ncissors)wer ebeginningt o
erupt, besebonakala, t
hatmadehermor ecuter
,
mybabywasgr owi ng,Icoul
dn'tbeli
ev ethat
soonshewasgoi ngt obit
e,chewet c.Ay anda
kissedt hem whil
eshewasst il
lgiggli
ng
i
mmedi atel
yhesawAy andashest retchedher
armssi nceshewasl y
inginthebedonherback.
Het ookherandpl antedsomeki ssesar ound
herneckt hatmadehergi ggl
emor e.NchooI
wassuperexci t
edIki ssedhermout hshe
drooledonme
Me: "siesPaddl
epopi
zi
ncwe(drool
)"
bungafungababengi
zwashekeptongi
ggl
i
ng

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
10]Mca:
INSERT179

Wehadbreakf
astandl eftforMat ati
eleweall
l
efti
nmydad'scar.Wear r
ivedafter1pm ohhh
gogohl
esheull
ulated,shef i
rstkissedPaddl
e
popwhowaswi t
hTot i,t
henki sseddadandt he
l
ookondadsface....Welaughed

Dad:"mamawhenar
eyougoi
ngt
ost
opdoi
ng
t
his"
Gogo: "youwil
lalway
sbemyboyXol i
sa(my
dad'sname)histwinbrother'
snameis
Xol
isani.Sheki
ssedallofusemlony
enigogo
though.Ay
andawabuzai
mpi
l
okumkhul
u,y
ou
knowmkhul u'
smpil
o.

Mkhulu: "sikhonamzukul wanangaphandle

kwesomi soesisigqibelai
mf uyonamasimiet
hu
ninani
njani kwelenhlanzi(wefinemygrandson
exceptf
ort hedr oughtthatiskil
li
ngourcat
tl
es,
goatset
c. ..Howi sCapeTown)y hoooYAWNS

Ay
anda:
"wear
efi
neMkhul
u"
Mkhul
u: "
kuhl
ekemzukul
wana,
uhambaudl
ani
keMtungwaendl
eleni
"

Ayandatookoutabot
tl
eoffisheagl
es,
yaphuzaphel
amkhuluakadl
ali

Mkhulu:"Ndlebent
lezombini
,Maf
uzaf
ulel
e,
Rhadebe,ndodayenzanj
alo"
Ir
oll
edmyey
es

Gogo:shetookPaddlepop"nongayi
ndoda
wakwabani,mzukul
wanabuzomphikal
omtana
l
entoesukewanguwewonke"
Ay
anda:
"nogogo"

West ayedchatti
ng, l
aughing,Mkhulut el
l
ingus
stori
esandhal fofthem ,
let'
sjustsaywer e
madeupst or
iesandf i
sheaglesbesey i
sebenza.
Makhul ukeptonfeedingPaddlepopi nqodi
(umdoko)Iwassowor ri
edphel aiy
asinda
esiswinimawuhluthiandmychi l
dngohal a
seemedt oenjoyit.

Asheepwasslaught
eredl
ate,Tot
icooked
whi
leubaba,
Ayandaandbhutanabeboj
a
phandl
e.Lat
ePaddlepopwasbathedngugogo
ngobul
awubasekhaya(f
amil
yri
tual)

Westayedf
or2day sandl
eftl
ateonTuesday
backt
oKokstad.I
twassadleavi
ngoogogo
al
onebutwehadto.

Gogo:"nibobuyahlebazukulwanani nganqabi"
(youmustv i
sitnowandagain, don'tbescarce)
wearr
ivedinKokstadafter7pm ooTot ihadto
pr
epar
ef orthefoll
owi
ngday .Wesl eptafter1
am.

Foll
owi ngdayallroadl
edt oCofimvabawe
wentv iadadandTot i'
sof f
iceforgoodbyes,it
wassadt houghitwasnicetobehomeno
heartache,painandeveryt
hingbutheywehad
toleaveallIcoulddowast opraythati
zinto
zi
bengconot hanbefore.Wesaidourgoodby es
andl
eft
.

Wear r
ivedinCofi
mv abaj ustafterdi
nnerand
theywereexpecti
ngus, wegr eetedandstay ed
kancanethenIaskedf orthekeyt oourhouseI
wantedtogoandopenbutsi sZodwa
(Makhulu'
shelper
)wehi redonef ort
hem since
i
twasmakhul uandbabaonl yekhaya.Shesai d
i
tsopenal r
eadysinceshewasspr i
ngcleaning.

Makhuludidn'
tbeataroundthebushes
washonaendabeni.Itol
dhereveryt
hingf
rom
thedr
eamst il
lthedayPaddlepopwokeupin
hospi
talubabawast her
etoo.

Makhul
u:"t
hisi
srathercompl
i
cat
ed,
Isuggest
wegoandseeaprophet"
Me:
"apr
ophetmakhul
u,Idon'
tthi
nkt
hat
'
sa
goodi
dea"
Makhul
u:"y
esZukulwana,
may
beshecant
ell
ust
hemeaningoft
his"
Me:
"wher
ear
ewegoi
ngt
ofi
ndonemakhul
u?
"

Makhul
u:"t
herei
sonet
hatIknowi
nEngcobo
andshei
sgood"
Me:"yhooo"Il
ookedatAy
andaheshr
ugged
hi
sshoul
ders

Me:"t
henit
ssortedmakhul
usav
angawecas
Ay
andadef
ini
tel
yneedshel
p"
Makhul
u:"wewi
l
lleav
etomor
rowmor
ning
t
hen"

Wehadsupperandwentt
obed.Thatni
ghtmy
dogswer
ebackbutrathercal
mt hi
sti
mebut
sti
l
lgi
vi
ngthei
rbacksonAy anda,t
hesame
womankeptshout
ingNdiyabonga
Me:
"forwhat?
"Ir
esponded
Voice:"ndi
yabonga...
."Itr
iedtocomecl
oser
toherbutshedisappeared.Iwaswokenby
Ayanda.

Ay
anda:
"abuy
il
e"

Inodded

Ayanda:"i
tsokbhabha,
itsj
ustadr
eam "we
sl
eptagai
n.

Fol
lowi
ngday, i
ndeedwewokeup,
getready
andlef
t.Makhul
useemedtoknowthehouseof
thepr ophet .Wegr eetedandwewer eshown
wher eshewas.Makhul ugoti nfi
rstwe
foll
owed, itwasav eryfunnysmal lhutli
kea
ronder val l,i
twasbi tf
arfrom ezinyei zi
ndlu.I
heldonYanda' shandt ite, i
twasdar kbutthere
wer ecandl esbezi l
ighti
weIshoul dthinkits
becauset her ewer enowi ndows.Hay iminaI'm
claustrophobi ctobei napl aceliket hat
.Igot
cold, wewer eshownwher etosit,esicambeni
(gr assmat)Ay andabegugeuPaddl epopand
wewer est i
ll holdinghands.Av erybi gwoman
wassi ttingngasemsamoi nSangoma' sclothes
, kanti sizekwi Sangomaaweeeeeandt here
wasal soagi rlalmostmyagewhowassi tti
ng
nextt ousal soi nSangoma' sclothesshe
i
nst ruct edust ot akeoffourshoesandwedi d.

Woman: "l
otj
ani"okkkkukhul
unywainivel
ela
casheraccentwassonotXhosanei t
herZulu
andthelotj
anipr
ovedthatbengasi
yeniwaseEC
norKZN

Makhul
u:"y
ebo,
kunj
ani
"
Woman:"ngikhonangi
yat
hokozani
na"(f
ine
t
hansandyou)
Makhul
u:"si
khona"(wear
efi
ne)

Shelookedatus(meandAy anda)f oralong

ti
me, rememberIsaiditwasratherdim but
bengathikuf
akwei gl
obeengu10000kW
ukuboneumunt uakubukengathiuyakukhumula.
Godknowsshewasgi vi
ngmecr eeps.Il
ooked
downshebur ped,GROSSshedi dn'tevensay
excuseme

Woman: "ngi
zocelausi
tshi
del
engifunu
khul
umanalabababil
i(will
youexcuseus,
I
woul
dli
ket ot
alktothetwosome)shesaid
thatlooki
ngatmakhul
u,bengat
hi
ngizozint
sont
sel
a(tr
ustmeIwas5toi
npeei
ng
my self)makhul
uwentout

Shel
ookedatAy
anda

Woman: "kungani
ulandel
wayi
zil
il
ozamadl
ozi
(whyareyoubeenfoll
owedbythespi
ri
tof
ancest
ors)?"

Ay
andashr
uggedhi
sshoul
der
s

Woman: "khul
uma!
!!!Yhoooangesaba,
Paddl
epopdidtoo,
shest ar
tedcry
ing,Ay
anda
cal
medher

Woman:
"nt
ombazanauf
unani
kul
esi
sigebengu?
"

Myheartr
acedasifi
twasgoingt
ocomeoutof
mychest,Iswal
l
owedhard.

Woman: "t hosepeopl eyouki l

ledmf ana,thei
r
spir
itsareaf t
ery ou,theyar enotrested
nezikhokho(ancest ors)z akhouzidumazile
ngobomi obuphiil
etheyar eangr y,youneedt o
apologizetot hem ,theyhav eturnedtheirbacks
ony ouifitwasn'tfory ourwi f
ey ouwillbedead
bynow, theywanty oudeadt heywayt heyare
angryaty ou.Nawe(shel ookedatme)komel e
uyekeubanent li
ziy
oy etshe(st opbeing
stubborn)listen,youar etheonl ymedium
betweent heKhumal osandy ourhusband.You
haveagi ft"

Agi
ft?
???
Ayanda:
"whatdoy
oumean?Youmeanshe
hasacal
li
ng?
Woman: "no, Iwouldhaveseenit,youdidn'
t
chooseyourwifeyourancestor
sdidforyou,
mfanawami kumeleucolisekwizi
khokhozakho
,kuyar
abha(itsurgent)
Me:
"howgogo"
Woman: "Iwil
ltel
lyouhow, youneedt o
apologi
ze, y
ouneedt obecleansedandy our
houseinCapeTownneedscl eansing,
kunomkhov uozulayol
aphayakwel aj
ari
dilenui
f
youdon'tdothisngokurabhaloyamkhovu
usezoqhubekauzenzelaumat handanexttime
uzoshovainganelephelaulwil
elaukhona
ngobaumbul el
engesihluku"

Il
ookedatAyandawhol
ookeddown
i
mmediatel
y,Ishookmyhead.
Woman: "mfanawami,ukuphi
loy
omunt
u
wakwenzel
aamabhandi
(belts)
Me:
"whatbel
ts?
"
Woman:
"youdi
dn'
ttel
lyourwi
fe?
"

Whatweret
heytal
ki
ngabout?Il
ookedat
Ayanda,
bengi
funai
mpendul
o, hel
ookeddown
..
..
.

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
10]Mca:
INSERT180

Me:
"Ay
andangamabhandewani
,ut
hwel
e??
"

Hewassti
ll
looki
ngdown,Ihavemarr
iedto
i
ndodaet
hwele,Jehov
aIhavehear
dstori
es
aboutpeopleabathwel e,
thatt heyhavesnakes
andaftersometi
met hosesnakesneedbl ood
whichmeanst hepersonot hweleyomust
sacri
fi
cehisorherfleshbl oodImeanhi schild
orherchil
d,Godknowsbengi ngenanganet hatI
hadtosacrif
iceforAy anda' sself
ishness.

Me:
"Ay
andaI
'
mtal
ki
ngt
oyou"
Ay
anda:
"itdoesn'
tmat
terbhabhal
eti
tgo"
Me: "ungazongihl
any
isawenakhuluma,we
arei
nt hi
ssh...
.Weareherebecauseofy
our
secr
ets,khulumake"
Woman:
"mphendul
amf
ana"
Ayanda:"nobhabhaandit
hwal
angatheywere
formyprotect
ionsi
nceIwasathugandthe
l
eaderofthegang"

Isi
gheddeep
Woman:
"wher
eishe?"
Ay
anda:
"Iwast
oldhepassedway"
Woman: "areyouawarethatthet
hosebel
ts
areir
reversi
blet
heonlypersonwhocanrever
se
thoseisthatpersonwhoputthem "

Ay
andakeptqui
te.

Me:"whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout?
"Iwasso
conf
used
Woman:
"tel
lher"
Ay
anda:
"Iwi
l
ltel
lherl
ater"
Woman: "nowmf anaandstophidi
ngthi
ngs
fr
om her,shei
stheoneholdingkeyst
oyour
peace.
Ayandatoldmeev ery t
hing, apparentlyhewent
toaSangomaf orthosebel t
st heywer efor
prot
ecti
onsincehewasat hugandat axiowner,
he't
hought'hewoul df or
everbeaTHUGso
that
'swhyhemadet hem irr
ev er
sible.Reall
y
washecr azy,honest l
yfory ourlongt er
m goals
howdoy ouplant obeat hugf orever.

Het oldmewhoper for

medt hoseandhowt hey
wereper f
ormedbutunf or
tunatel
ymybhabhas
thatinfor
mat i
onisv er
yconfidenti
alsoIwon't
tel
lI'
m sorry.Bestli
neforGangster'sgir
lf
ri
ends
andwi ves"unfortunat
elyIcannott el
l
"wedon't
tel
lkeser i
ously,
hahaha.

Thewomant hencall
eduMakhul
uin,she
expl
ainedtoushowwewer egoi
ngtoperfor
m
ther
itual,
thecl
eansi
ngofYanda,whenand
wherehewassupposetogoforit
,whatwe
weretodoandAGAINI
'
m sor
ryIwon'
tgoi
nto
det
ail
saboutt
his.

Makhul
u:"whomustdoal
lthi
s?"
Woman:
"You"
Me:"NO!
!Icannot"hhabeshewasl
ooki
ngat
me
Woman: "yousee,youshouldhaveav oi
ded
thi
sthingbutbecauseofyourstubbornness
thi
ngsgotoutofhandawul al
eli
, y
ouar ethe
chosenoneunamandl aokunqobal okhu(you
havethepowertoconquerthis)konke
kusemahlombeniakho"
Me:
"butwhyme?
"
Woman: "keepint
err
ogati
ngmeandseewhen
t
heancestorst
akeinzal
oyakho"

Ikeptqui
tei
mmedi
atel
yinawayIwasangr
y,I
wasn'
tther
ewhenAy
andaenzakonke,
that
wassonotfai
r.

Makhulu:"vumaSi many eZukul

wana, y
ou
can'
tcarr
yonlikethi
s, IknowlekakakaAyanda
whenhedi di
tyouwer enottherebutyouhave
todothi
sMar hadebe"
Me:
"Iwi
l
ldoi
tmakhul
u"
Woman:
"good"

Lordhavemercy,Iwantedtoleavethatplace
mina.Thewomanr eal
lygavemecr eeps, she
burpedagai
nandkeptongr unti
ng,yhoot his
ti
meIwasscar edtodeathshekeptonhi tti
ng
menget shoba,shegrunt
edmor e,Ay anda
whisper
ed.

Ay
anda:
"yi
ningokui
mikhov
uyam i
zekuwe"I
want
edt
olaughbutIwasscar
ed.

Woman:"theKhumal oswantt
hei
rson
nt
ombazana,uzoy
il
ethanini
ekhay
a"
Me:
"whatson?
"
Woman:
"youknowwhatI
'
mtal
ki
ngabout"
Me: "noIdon'
t,t
heyhavethei
rson,hereis
Ay andatheycanhav
ehim "Iwasti
rednjeandI
didn'tknowwhatshewastalki
ngaboutInever
tookanysony oKhumal
omi na

Woman: "y
ouknowangi
khul
umi
ngay
e,hi
s
br
other"
Me:"hi
s2brothersar
einCapeTownandt
he
f
ir
stbor
ninPretor
ia"
Woman: "khul
umant
ombazane!
!!Sheshout
ed
yhoIst
art
edcryi
ng
Me:"Idon'
tknowhim "It
ri
edt
ost
andupand
r
unbengif
unaniv
elel
omame

Woman: "walkawayandseeooKhumalo
bazokuyekanauzoli
ngcwabalol
usana"y
hoo
yangathibangi
shay
engest enaonmychest
,I
cri
edharder.

Makhulu:"gogoshei
stel
l
ingt
het
rut
h"she
wasbrushi
ngmyback
Woman: "speakgi
rl
y!!
!,
youknowwhatI
'
m
t
alki
ngabout,youar
etheonl
ylink"

Iwast
rembl
i
ngIdi
dn'
tst
opcr
ying

Woman: "akuzukusi
zangalut
houkuli
l
a,i
nal
a"
shegav
emeugway i
ntsu"sni
ffher
e"
Ayanda:"no!
!,shehassi
nuspostnasal
dr
ippingandal
ler
gy"
Woman: "bantwanabesi manje"shemademe
snif
fsomet hi
ngf rom theanimal bagshewas
carr
ying,Idon'tknowwhatwasi nsi
deitbutit
waswayt oostrong.IthinkIpassedout,i
nmy
l
ifeIneversnif
fsuchanodor ousthi
ng.The
samemakhul uwasappr oachingmeallsmiley
shecamecl osert omeandpar t
edmeonmy
shoulder"akal
azi ikhayalakhe"
Me:"who?"
...Mfxm shedi
sappear
ed,Iwoke
upsot
ir
edshelookedatmeandsmi l
e

Woman: "youar
estubbor
nwhathappened"I
t
oldherwhatIdr
eamtof

Me:"doIhav
eabr
otherorasi
sterIdon'
tknow
of"
Woman:"noyoudon'
thav
eonebuthehasa
l
it
tl
ebr
other"
Ayanda:"whatbrot
her,
Idon'
thav
eabr
other
besi
deooXhanti"
Woman: "yourf
atherwi
l
lanswert
hatquest
ion
bet
ter
,askhim"

Me:
"no,
itcan'
tbe"
Ay
anda:
"whati
sit?
"
Makhul
u:"Si
many
eyi
niZukul
wana"
Me:"theedgar
sguybhabha"Isai
dthatslowl
y
andi
nav er
ylowtone"hei
sy ourbr
otherYanda
"
Woman: "youmustfi
ndhim, heisintoo
muchdanger,
hewil
lbekil
ledbecauseofy our
doi
ngsandyoumustwelcomehim, every
thing
mustbeperf
ormedbyyou"
Me:
"me?
,whyme?
"

Shegav
emeadeat
hlook,
Ikeptqui
te
i
mmediatel
y

Me:
"Iwi
l
l"

Shegav emewhatwasgoi ngt obeneededand

theinst
ruct
ionsthatAyandamustnott ouch
anyt
hingsincehishandswer ef ul
lofbl
oodand
neededtobecl eansedfi
rst(talki
ngof
j
udgment alpeople)

Makhul
u:"kuzobay
imal
i
ni"
Woman: "i
nkul
ungwane(thousand)"haaaso
muchbengi
funaukhuzabutagai
nIkeptqui
te.
AyandagavemethemoneyandIputit
emsamo, Iwasaboutt
osaythankyouwhen
makhulusai
dakubongwa,heeeee
Woman: "ni
benetj
hidi
"(goodluck)
ngi
kwet
hembilent
ombazaneencane"

Me:
Inodded"sal
akuhl
egogo"

Shesmi ledandnodded.Wel eftmyheadwas

spinni
ng, Isankonmyseatt heytri
edt omake
conversati
onbutnj eIwast i
red.Wear ri
vedat
homeandmakhul ucall
edusi nincl
udingbaba.I
excusedmy selfsi
nceIwasumakot i
kwaKhumal obutmakhuluinsistedthatIstayi
n.
Babaagr eedt hati
ndeedhei mpregnatedhis
si
dedi shwhi l
ehewaswor kinginCofimvaba
butthegi r
lleftbef
orethebabywasbor n.He
l
ostcont actwi t
hher,accordingtohim
bekumel euna25whi chmeanshewasi ndeed
youngerthanYanda.IswearAy andawantedto
beatthehelloutofbabathewayhewasangr y.
Iheldhi
m ashest oodup,hegav emeanev i
l
l
ookandsatdown.Soweconcl udedthatIwas
goingtotakeAy andatowhereIsawt heguy,
hopingthathewasst il
lworki
ngthere.

Istartedwi thutshwalaandonFr idayagoat

wassl aught ered, i
tsveryfunnyhowgoat s,
sheepsandcowsar eusedasourt r
anspor t
st o
ourgods(ancest ors).Theysayi fimbuzi
ayikhalangamay ihl
atshwaakuv umangaandi f
i
khal i
l
et heysayt heancest orshav eaccept ed
therit
ual /ceremonyi twil
lgowel l
soev ent hat
ti
mei khal il
esoev eryonewashappy .The
foll
owi ngdaywewokeasear lyas4: 00am and
didthecl eansingwher ewewer esupposet odo
i
t.Emi ni peoplecamey ouknowkwaXhosa
whent heyar eupt osomet hi
ngt heywi l
ljustsay
siphat heancest orsukudlasoev enwi t
husi ts
onlyuswhoknewbekwenzi
waninotev
en
Ayanda'suncl
esknewther
easonbehi
nd.
Everyt
hingwentwel
l.

Wewer el eavingMondaymor ni
ng,wehad
greattime, Paddlepopwasbabaandmakhul u'
sdol l
,babawassof ondofheratf i
rstAyanda
hadapr oblem wi t
hthatbutwespokeabouti t
besizoxolisaangi t
hiyenaifebesanamagqubu
bekuzolunganj ani
.Babawoul dstaywithher
esibayeni andf edher,Idon'twannalieIwas
notcomf ortablewithi
sibayakuloAyandakukho
i
zinyoka.

Fol
lowingdaywewereabouttoleavemakhulu
cal
leduswepr ay
ed.Ayandast
artedloadi
ngour
bagsinthecarmakhul
uwasbusyunt yingher
handkerchi
ef.
Makhul
u:"her
eSimanyet
hisi
sforNopot
yi"
r
eal
lymakhul
uinganey
ami
Me:
"whati
sNopot
yimakhul
u?"
Makhul
u: "asi
ze1t
hreel
eggedpot"Icoul
dn'
t
hel
pbutlaugh
Me:"ther
eisnosuchsi
zemakhul
ukot
hree
l
eggedpots"
Makhul
u:"i
nourday
sibi
khonabutIhav
en'
t
seeni
nages"
Me:
"andwhatdi
dyouusef
or"
Makhul
u:"youwill
besur
pri
sedzukul
wanaf
or
manythi
ngs,her
euNopot
yiat
hengeamaswi
di"
shegavemeR10
Me:
"andwhataboutme?
"
Makhul
u:"hay
isukai
ndoday
akhoi
nemal
iand
you"
Me:"int
hatcaseam Inotsupposetobet
he
onewhogiv
esyoumoneyf orsugar"
Makhulu:"esheeechil
drenoft
oday,i
nanansi
eyakhout
hengeIdollol
icksl
ont
ozibi
zwangayo
"shegavemeR20Il aughedhard.

Me:
"unemal
ifunekandi
zokur
obha"
Makhul
u:"
Iwi
l
lbr
eakt
hoset
oot
hpi
cksl
egs"
Me: "hhabemakhul
umi
khul
umanj
ebukaI
l
if
tedij
eremani
"
Makhulu:"unezimpendul
ozeyayonkeint
o,you
aregr
owing,wheny ouarr
ivedher
eIthought
uzoqweshafoll
owingday"
Me:
"ahhhamakhul
u"

Makhulu: "i
nobaut
hindi
yimpat
hakamakhul
u
(Ilaughedthewayshesaidi
t)wafi
ka
kububusukuobungenany
angaungakwazi
nopheka"
Me:
"haamakhul
uhowdi
dyouknow"
Makhul
u: "ndi
mdalaSi
many e, Idi
dn'
tcar
e
aboutt
hatndandi
vuyel
alonopinkanamhle
womolokazanawam whowassohumbl eand
sodowntoearth"shetouchedmycheeksI
wassoembar r
assedIl
ookeddown.

Makhul u:"don' tbeembar r

assedst handwa
sam ndandi zithandel
aunj al
oandonet hingthat
mademehappyuAy andast oodupf orhi sdoll
way it
handai njaloint
oy akhe.Thanky ou
Mar hadebekeepont akingcar eofmychi l
drenI
knowusungumamakuboundi gcinel
ebona
mt anam abal waziuthandol obuzali
.Iwasso
prayingthatabant wanabam bangaphel eli
edolophinikodwauThi xowazi sawenaubaqoqe
kesanal wam.Ihav eseennel ihl
anyal akho
l
iyakhulausebenzi lemaf uzaf ulel
enalouzay o
ndithembewenaI nganat hi,
sendizafa
zukulwanabutndi zafakakuhl endazi
abantwanabam ndibashi
yaothandweni
nasezandl
eniezi
zabakhathal
ela"

UwhooooIhatei
nyembezi
zamiIwascry
ingnj
e.
Ihuggedmakhul
uaswewer est
andi
ng
egcekeni
.

Me:"Iwil
ltr
ymybestmakhul
uit
snoteasybut
Iwi
l
lgiv
eitmyal
l"
Makhulu: "whosai di t
sgoi ngtobeeasybut
uyimbokodo(ar ock)Khumal omenare
womani zerstrustmeIwasr eal
l
yscaredforyou
thatuAy andauzodl alangawebuty ourl
ove
disci
pli
nedhimv erywell.IknowuMzukulwana
wami yi
ndlavinibuty ouhav eoutdoneyoursel
f
aphakuy e"Ismi ledatherIr eal
lyl
oved
umakhul u
Wewer
eint
err
upt
edbyAy
anda.

Ay
anda:
"yi
ningoku,
whyar
eyoucr
ying?"
Me:
"not
hing"
Ay
anda:
"Si
many
e!!
"
Makhul
u:"f
okofy
afundekel
a"
Me:
"I'
m ok"

Hisfoner
angandheansweredit,hewas
shouti
ngIwonderwhowast hat
.Aft
ert
hecal
l
heseemedratherdi
stur
bed.

Me:
"whati
sitYanda"
Ay
anda:
"it
sMamzo"
Me:
"at
hini
"
Ay
anda:
"thet
hububhanxabobawemustwai
t
forsomegi rlngumt anawebr othery omy eni
kancinci (Ayanda' saunt,theonewhoasked
bekuphel eamant ombi l
entouAy andamar rieda
girlfr
om Lesot ho) ,ut
hishewi l
l beher einf ew
mi nutes, shepassedgr ade12l asty earbutshe
didn'thav emoneyt or egi
sterthisy earsowe
mustt akeherint hi
sy earayofunaumsebenzi
sot hatshecanr egist
ernexty ear ,ndimxelele
i
kakaandi yit
hethi"
Me:
"ohhh,
athi
uphi
"
Ay
anda:
"shesai
d..
.Inobanguy
elowa"

Aguycar r
yingasui
tcaseandagir
lwecomi ng
towherewewer estandi
ng,Okshewasgoi ng
tostaywit
hus.That'st
heprobl
em withthe
i
nlawsifbathet
henalowaki
bobaqedil
euba
wenawhatdoy outhinkorhowdoy oufeelthey
don'
tcare.
Il
ookedather,NO.1SHEWASBEAUTI FUL,
cof
feecol
ourskinbutv
erybeaut
if
ul.
no.
2sheseemedt
obeadecentgal
.
No.
3youngert
hanme.
No.
4Insecur
it
ies
butheyIdon'
tgetshakent
hateasi
l
y.Shecame
andgreet
ed.

Ay
anda:
"youar
enotgoi
ngwi
thus"
Me:
"hay
iboYanda"
Ayanda: "don'
tsayhayi
bo,Iai
n'tdoi
ngthi
sshit
I
nga, IknowMamzoandt hatskimmingbi
tch
i
ngincincibaf
unukwenzani"
Me:
"whati
sther
etol
osebhabha"
Ayanda:"hayiSi
manye!!thi
sisnotupfor
di
scussi
on,ukunyaandi
kuthet
himna...
.."He
wenttot
akePaddlepopf r
om dad..
.
Yhoooo!
!

[
08/
19,
01:
11]Mca:
INSERT181

Ay
anda:
"let
'sgobhabha"
Me:
"Yandapl
ease"
Ayanda:"heywenaInganathi
uvakunyenani!!
Shelookedatthegi
rl"wenayouarenotgoing
wit
husf oneyourmotherandtel
lhert
hatIsai
d
shemustbooky ouabust oCapetowntoher
si
sternotkowam umzi,Damn!!"

Makhul
ucal
l
edusi
nnoAy
anda

Ay
anda: "don'
ttr
ytot
alkmeoutoft
his
makhul
ucasmyansweri sNo"
Makhulu: "mychi l
dren,Idon'tknowwhat
Noxhanti
lomz iandBoni swa(hersi st
er)are
tr
yingtodobutIcanf eelit
,theyareupt ono
good.Youar eyoungy ouneedy ourpri
vacywhy
aretheysendingagi rlaboutyourageSimany e
togoandst aywi t
hy ou"
Ay
anda:
"shei
snotgoi
ngwi
thusMakhul
u"
Makhulu: "gowi t
hhermychi l
drensheishere
al
readybutIt r
ustyou,Ibeli
eveinyouthatyou
wi
llstayfait
hfultoeachotherandthatyou
won'tal
lowuSat anangenephakathikwenu"

Makhul
ulookedveryworri
edandhurtshewas
sonother
selfshehuggedmef oral
ongtime.

Makhul
u: "uqi
nesanal
wam uThi
xoukhona
kwayeungumncedi"
Me:
"IknowMakhul
u"
ShekissedmycheekandIwenttosay
goodbyestoubabaandsi
siZodwa.

Makhulu:"mawufikaetowntakeoffthatdoek
andthatscar
f,youwillbewithyourhusband
onl
ynoneedt orespectanddon'tl
ety our
husbandgotobedhungr y"
Me:"Iwon'
tmakhul
u,y
ouknowIcancook
now"

Makhul
u: "Idon'
tmeant
hatf
oodmaar
nwena"
shepi
nchedmyear

Igi
ggl
ed

Iwentt
oYanda'
swal
l
etandt
ookaR1000
ngafumbathi
saumakhul
u, wedidthei
r
grocer
iesalr
eady,
Iwasgoingtoanswer
kuYandangemaliy
akhethatIknew.

Weleftwi
tht
hegir
l whowasratherqui
teand
Ayandawasver
ypissed,
hewasmadashel l
I
knewbett
ert
omakesmal lt
alksnaye.

Me:
"sowhati
syourname"
Gi
rl:
"I'
m chwai
ta"
Ayanda:"si
si,
didn'tt
heyt
eachy
oumanner
s
whereyoucomef rom?"
Chway
ita:
"I'
m sor
rybhut
i"

Iwouldmakethosesmallt
alkskeontheway.
Fi
nall
ywegothome, Ishowedherherroom
besi
sahl
uthi
sonke.
Me:"Iwil
lgi
vey
ouat
ourt
othehouse
t
omorrow"
Chway
ita:
"oksi
sienkosi
"
Me:
"nopr
obl
em "
Chway
ita:
"bhut
idoesn'
tl
ikemeIcansee"
Me:"nonanadon'
twor
ryabouthi
m,hewi
l
l
comear
ound"

Wewenttosl
eepYandawasdonebathi
ng
Paddl
epopshesl
epti
nst
antl
yIguessmychi
l
d
wasti
red.

Myf
oner
angi
twasTot
i,Ianswer
ed.

Me:
"gogo"
Tot
i:"Angel
njani
nganey
ami
"
Me: "yhoowhenlastdi
dIhearyousay
ingt
hat
,
eversi
nceAyandaandPaddlepopcameint
o
theequati
onsengi
yisal
ukazi
mina"

Toti
:"youknowtheywil
lnev
ert
akeyourpl
ace
angi
thi
,youwil
lal
waysbemyAngel"
Me:
"I'
m gl
adt
oheart
hat"
Tot
i:"don'
tev
erdoubtt
hat,
nihambenj
ani
"
Me:"kahl
ekakhul
ugogo,
wegothome2
hour
sago"
Toti:
"kuhl
ekel
okhobutwhyngat
hiy
ouar
e
notok?
Me:
"Iam okTot
i"
Tot
i:"khul
umanami
Angel
"

It
oldheraboutChway
ita,
yhooouTot
icanbea
dr
amaQueenhl e.
Tot
i:"l
oyonondi
dnwabat
hiazot
hini
lapho"
Me:"Idon'
tknowTot
ibutmi
naIdon'
thav
ea
pr
obl
em wit
hher"

Toti:"l
i
stenher eyouarenol ongerababy
ngumuzi wakholoyowhi chmeanskushay a
esakhoisicat
huloyangizwa(t hat'syourhouse
whichmeansy ouareincontrol).I
ndodaeyakho
i
zophekelwauwenangazeuv umel eunondi
dwa
asukeleemaf amaazokudl el
ai ndoda
si
yezwana.Youar eincontrol t
herengaze
uvumelelabadot i
bakugibeleekhanda"

Me:"haaaTot
iusunohabamanj
ewhosai
d
shei
scomingaft
ermyhusband"
Toti
:"bamlet
hel
enipholapho,ngizobahl
akaza
minangey
ami i
nganeangiyi
zal
elangauba
i
zogi
tshel
waekhandaabangazi
kahl
e"
Me: "usut
het
hanj
engomunt
uongazangaway
a
eskol
enimanj
e"
Toti:
"ngi
ngowakwaMkhabelaminaabangazi
kahl
ebangal
okothinj
engowakhumul
aphela
l
amajazingigqoki
seowobust
raat
mate
bangi
zweniv
ele"

Me:
"don'
twor
ryTot
iIwi
l
lsor
tthi
sout"
Toti:
"uzeul i
bal
eukuthambaakudlal
wa
emendweni Angelangazinj
eabantubakwa
Rhadebebabecoshwakuphi lent
obozebaphol
a
ngat
hi bahudul
aif
reezerkumelebaj
uluke"

Il
aughedmf
xmm mymom i
sreal
l
ycr
azy

Toti:
"youcal
lmeift
heyaregi
vi
ngyoushi
t,I
wil
lcomeandsor
tthem nal
omamiy
ezal
a
wakhongi
zoomkhi
phaamasi
mbangesbhakel
a
mina"

Me:"ay
hii
iTot
iby
eby
e,usuy
angesabi
sa
manj
e"
Tot
i:"by
ebyemyangel
don'
tfor
getI
'
m af
one
cal
l
eraway"
Me:
"ok,
oky
hooTot
i"
Tot
i:"ngi
qini
sil
evel
e,wher
eisPaddl
epop"
Me:
"usel
elebabakheqedakumgeza"
Toti
:"ki
ssherformebi
ngel
elanakubabakhe,
I
missyoual
readymyAngel
s"
Me:
"wemi
ssy
out
ooguy
sbi
ngel
elekubaba"
Tot
i:"Iwi
l
lmyAngel
,by
eby
ekesweet
hear
t
Me:
"by
eTot
i"

Idr
oppedt
hecal
l,wentt
otakeashowerand
cameback.Igoti
nbedYandawasi
nbed
al
ready
.

Ayanda:"andi
mfuni
lomt
anaaphakwam
I
nganathi"
Me:
"shei
sinnocentkodwabhabha"
Ayanda:"i
nnocenthow??sheispret
tyaware
whysheishere,doyoucal
lthati
nnocentheee
I
nganathi,
tel
lme"

Me:
"mustIt
rusty
ouYanda"
Ayanda: "undibuzai
kakakengokuI
nganat
hi,
undibuzaikaka,doyouseewhyIdon'
twant
thatwitchhere,it
snotevenadaykuf
ike
l
amasi mbasowundi doubt
a"
Me:"I'
mjustaski
ngAy
anda,
noneedt
obi
te
myheadoff"
Ay
anda:
"di
dIev
ergi
vey
ouar
easonnott
o
t
rustme"
Me:
"nobhabha"
Ayanda: "tr
ustmekebhabha, Ihaveeyesfor
onlyyou, I
'
m sorrythatIshoutedyouit
sjust
thatuMamzor eal
lyisgrinni
ngmyass, shewill
doany t
hingtomakesur ethatsheseesus
separat
ed"
Me:"rememberwhatmakhul
usai
d,wemust
notl
etdev
ilasahl
ule"
Ay
anda:
"comeher
eThembal
am"
Me: "t
hel
astti
meIcheckedIwasuVuyo
l
wakhonowI'm Thembal
akhowhichi
swhich
kant
i"
Ayanda:
"y ouaremyever
ythi
ngbhabha,
ul
uVuyolwam, ul
i
Thembalam ,kukuphi
l
akwam
ububomibam noPaddl
epop"

Icoul
dn'
thel
pbutmel
tinhi
swar
m andst
rong
ar
ms,
hel
etmesl
eepont
opofhi
m.

Ay
anda:
"thandabhabha,
don'
tev
erdoubtt
hat
"
Me:"IknowbhabhaandIl
ovey
out
ooI
'
m sor
ry
f
ordoubti
ngyou"
Heki ssedmyf orehead, Ihadaconv ersati
on
upstairsaskingmy selfreall
ywhatwasLomzi
andhersi sterupt o.Whati fAy andafallsforher
, onethingIknowf orsur eeveny ourwor st
enermyoncey ouspentmor et i
menay oonce
yougett oknowt heper son, youendupbei ng
freearoundt heper sonandy oumi ghtdev el
op
feeli
ngt hatyounev erhadbef oreforyenabut
therewasnot hingIcoulddot hant ot
rustmy
husbandandbel i
evei nourl ovet hati
twi l
l
conquerandov ercomewhatwascomi ngtous
....

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
11]Mca:
INSERT182

AMont
hlat
er.
..
.

Thingswer ef i
nekut hisonkeIwasbackatwor k
doingwhatIl ovet hemostGodknowshow
muchImi ssedwor knotthatIwasr unning
awayf r
om myr esponsi bi
li
ti
esbutbei nga
housewi f
ei ssonotachi ld'splayandIj ust
reali
zedIwassonott hatkindofawoman.I
washal fwayt hrought omyBTECH, Iwasleft
with6mont hsandwewer ehalfwayt hroughto
oursecondy earatUnisa.Iwasat tendingmy
Germancl assesandt hechur chcell
s.

Msirawassti
l
lfi
newithHl engi
eev enthough
dist
ancedi
dn'
tmakei teasyforthem.U-
Mawandewasst i
l
lthesameol dsameol dbut
thelov
ehehadforhissonwasamazi ng.
Ndumi efi
nall
yf oundapl acejustafterSeasi de
Vil
l
agei nBloubergHi l
ls,heboughta4bedr oom
apart
ment ,whichwasf ewmi nutesdrivefrom
ourplace.Wehel pedhimi nchosingf urni
ture,
curt
ainsetc.Event houghhehadhi sownpl ace
hewaswi thusmostoft heti
meandwedi dn't
mind.Intermsofhi slov eli
feeii
shhhewasst i
l
l
unl
ucky .

XhantiandKamv a,Iwon' tsaymuchbutt hei

r
mar r
iagewasr ocky, theywi llconstant
lycallus
andwehadt ointervenei nawayIdi dn'tli
ke
that,Ibeli
eveintoyababi liayi
ngenwa.Kamv a
wasaccusi ngbabomdal aofcheat i
ngandbei ng
abusivewhilebabomdal awoul dbeaccusi ng
herofmi str
eati
nghi ssonsi ncehewasst aying
withthem soinawayt heywer econfusingus.
Onet hi
ngIhatedt hemostkubabomdal ahe
wouldsaywhyKamv aangazof ananami ,
I
meanhowdoy ousayt
hatemtwiniasi
faniand
wewil
lnev erbet
hesamehedidn'tknowwhatI
wentt
hroughemshadweniwam whatAy anda
putmethrougheyobaIdi
dn'
tspeakdidn'tmean
al
lwasfine.

Chwai t
agotaj obatMal ibuSpurinBay si
de
mallshewasst i
llst
ayingwithus, Ayandatr
ied
tofoneLomzi tell
ingherhewasbr i
nging
Chwai t
atoNy angabutwangi thukawashiya
angalaziy
osay i
ngIwast hereasonwhyAy anda
waschasi nghisfamilymemberoutof
Khumal o'
shome.IbeggedAy andatoletgoand
l
etchwai tast
ay edwithus.

TrustmeI'm av
erypatientpersonbutChwai ta
'
sat t
it
udewasstart
ingt ogetintomyner ves,
shewascheekyanddi srespectf
ultheinnocent
ChwaitaIsawwasgone, onethingthatir
rit
ated
met hemostwhenAy andawasar oundshe
wouldactal linnocentbutwhenwewer ealone
apetsule.Mnakeandi kungxamelibutIdealwit
h
youndipholile.Ideci
dedt otakeupt omy
shoulderindabay akhe, Iwasgoingtoregist
er
forherthef oll
owingyear, soIappli
edforherin
vari
ousUni versiti
esandUni ver
sit
yof
Technol ogi
esandIal soappl i
edforresIwasso
notgoingt ost aywit
hheri twastoomuch
alr
eady.

AsforAyanda'sbrot
herwetoldotherswho
wereall
astoni
shedtohearthatt
heyhada
brot
hersotheyall
decidedt
owaitf orXhant
ias
anelder
lybrot
herkubowhowascomi ngdown
toCapeTownngoJune.

OneThursdayIdecidedt
osurpr
isemyhusband,
wit
hlunchsoduringmylunchti
meIwenthome
,Iwassosurpri
sedtosee2blackC220
bl
uet
ecsparkedinourdri
vein,
Ayandadidn'
t
menti
onanythi
ngaboutexpect
ingvi
sit
ors.

Ipar
kedmycarandwenti n,therewere2huge
guysstandi
ngi nmydoor,theytri
edtoblock
mef r
om getti
ngin,rhaaaendli
nikabani,I
di
dn'tcarehowbigtheywere, howstrongthey
werebutthatwasmyhouseImademywayi n,
Idi
dn'tevengreett
hem.

Me: "mov e!!

!"theymov edIwalkedi
n,Chwait
a
wasint hecouchwat chi
ngtvinhershor
test
dressyoucouldev erfi
ndinthi
scountr
y.Iput
theplasti
conthecount er
.

Me:
"hi
Chwai
ta"
Chwai
ta:
"hi
"
Me:
"wher
eisAy
anda?
"
Chwaita:"ugci
nwandi
ni"shesai
dthat
kancanebutbengi
mzwil
e
Me:
"excuseme"
Chwai
ta:
"not
hing,
hei
sbusy"
Me:
"busy"
Chwai
ta:
"youhear
dme"

Iletaslightl
augh,Ir
eall
ydidn'thaveti
mef or
thisshit,Iwal
kedtowardsthestudyroom casI
couldhearv oi
cescomingthere,shecame
runningandt r
iedt
oblockmyway .

Chwai
ta:
"bhut
iut
hehemustnotbedi
stur
bed"
Me: Il
ookedather"youbet
termovey ourass
Chwait
abeforendi
kunyat
hel
a, don'
ttestme
zawuzi
sola"
Shemov edquickl
y, Iknockedonceandgoti n,
al
ltosee4whi temenal linblacktheywer ewit
h
Ayandachatti
ngandl aughingov erabottl
eof
whisky
.Igreetedtheygreetedbackt heywere
sonotfrom here(SA)t heiraccentsaidital
l
.
Ayandastoodupandcamet ome, hekissed
mycheek

Ay
anda:
"bhabha,
whatbr
ingsy
ouher
e"
Me: "t
ocheckony
oubutsur
elyy
oudoi
ng
qui
tewell
"
Ayanda:"cany
ouexcuseusf
orf
ewmi
nut
es
gentl
emen"
Man1: "ar
en'
tyougoi
ngt
oint
roduceust
o
yourwi
fe?"
Ay
anda:
"No!
!"
Man1:
"fai
renough"
Man2:
"youhav
eabeaut
i,
..
..
"
Ayanda: "don' tst
artRooi other
wiseIwi l
lshit
ony ou, mywi feisofflimit,youdarelookat
herotherwi sethoseintesti
nesofy our
sbyt he
ti
mey ouwal koutoft hishouseyouwi ll
be
carryi
ngt hem inabucket, shei
sof fl
imitsi
s
thatclear?"Yhooot heAy andabengi f
ikeehleka
bengat hiakazangeahl eke
Man2:
"cr
yst
alcl
ear"
Ayanda:"good"wewal kedupst
air
s,wegot
i
ntothebedroom bengi
nyany
isay
aziuAyanda

Me: "car
etot el
lmewhatisgoingonhere,who
aret
hesecr eepymeninourst
udyAy anda,
whataretheydoingi
nourhouse, i
nganeyami
i
laAyanda,whatisgoi
ngon? "
Ay
anda:
"tr
ustmeourbabyi
ssaf
e"
Me:
"isshesaf
emay
elay
edwa"
Ayanda: "Ihavegotthi
scover
edbhabha, tr
ust
met hisislegi
t,ndi
thembeMarhadebeifIcan
sealthisdealIcanbuyyouapri
vatejet"
Me: "i
tsnotaboutmoneyAyanda,
wedon'
t
needmoremoney, wearefi
neandwewil
lbe
fi
ne"
Ayanda: "Ingathi
sisn'
tpapandv lei
s,thet
axi
s
theotherbusinessesIhavearenotenoughto
mai nt
ainthisl
ifeweareli
ving,Ineedtomake
surethatmyki dstoget
herwithyouarewell
takencareof "
Me:"Iam al
sowor
kingangi
thi
?"
Ayanda:"hayiI
nga!!I
'
mthemanher
eIcan
andIwil
ltakecareofmyf
ami
ly"
Me:
"mf
xmmm "
Ay
anda:
"ndi
kukhabekemna"

Me:
"whenIgetbackher
emakesur
ethese
peopl
ear
egoneAy
andaKhumal
o"
Ay
anda:
"yesmam"
Me:
"I'
m notj
oki
ngnj
aloAy
anda"
Ikissedt
hesleepyUbenathiandki
ssedYanda.
Hehel dmywaistandbroughtmeclosertohim
hesmashedhi sli
psonmi nesandkissedmea
l
ongonet hatmademesoweak.Hel etgoand
winkedmfxmm, hehadanaughtsmi l
e.

Me:
"Ihat
eyou,
thef
oodi
sint
heki
tchen"
Ay
anda:
"Il
ovey
out
oobhabha"Il
eft
.

Twoweekslat
er,Iwaspr
epar
ingf
orwor
k
Ayandawashel
pingmewit
hmyzip

Me: "bhabhadon'
tfor
gett
opr
intthe
assi
gnment st
heyareduet
omorr
ow"
Ay
anda:
"Iwon'
tbhabha"
Me:"andwehadanappoi
ntmentforUbenathi
'
scheckup,
youcanpi
ckmedur i
nglunchtime
"
Ay
anda:
"noneedbhabhaIwi
l
lmanage"
Me:
"ar
eyousur
e?"
Ay
anda:
"yesdon'
twor
ry"
Me: "hayi
bhabhaitdoesn'
tfeel
goodbazat
hini
abantuuseumtanawedwa"
Ayanda:"theywil
lsayngi
dleIkorobela(l
ove
port
ion)ndanxanxat
hanebhotil
eibikuyo"
Me:"siesmaar
nYandaIdi
dn'
tgivey
ou
i
gomondela(l
ovepor
ti
on)Ihi
thi
sshoul
der
pl
ayf
ull
y.
Ay
anda:
"don'
twor
ryIwi
l
lbef
inebhabha"
Me:
"thanksst
handwasami
"
Ay
anda:
"bhabhay
oubet
tert
alkt
othatbi
tch
ndi
ngekat
het
hinay
ongokwam "
Me:
"who,
whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout?
Ayanda:"youri
nnocentChwait
a,ifshecame
tomyhouset oseducemeuzekwindawo
ewrongoifsheconti
nuesuzabahomelesssoon
"
Me:
"Iwi
l
lbhabha"

Lat
ewhenIcamebackf
rom wor
kMam
Vuyi
sekacal
l
edme

Mam Vuyiseka:"mt
anam Iknowy
ouar
eti
red
butIneedtotal
ktoyou"
Me:
"don'
ttel
lmey
ouar
eleav
ingusmama"
Mam Vuy i
seka:"no,notatal
lnotni
ndi
phethe
kakuhlekanj
e"butsomethi
ngwassonotr i
ght
herfacewasnotsay i
ngwhatshewassaying
Me:
"whati
sitmamay
ouar
ewor
ryi
ngme
Mam Vuy
iseka:
"youbedr
oom i
s,,
,
,"

Chwai
tawal
kedi
nandmam Vuy
isekakept
qui
te.
..

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
11]Mca:
INSERT183

Il
ookedatChwai
ta

Me:"Chwai
tawi
l
lyouexcuseusf
orf
ew
mi
nutes"
Chwai
ta:"mfxmm"shestoodupanddi
dacat
wal
k,hay
i Jehov
abengi
vel
elwenj
e.
Mam Vuy i
seka:"asIwassay ing,your
bedroom isoffli
mitmt anam i
fningazubabi
kho
nobhuti.(That'
showhecal lsAyandaand
oobabomdal aIdon'tknowwhycasshei sway
ol
derthanbonaandt heycallhermamat oo)
l
ocki t
"
Me: "Icannotdothatmama, youarealways
aroundsodoeschwai t
anizongit
hathanjani
ifI
l
ockmybedr oom ni
khonaandi-laundr
y
uzoyit
holanjani
"
Mam Vuy iseka:"Inganathili
stent ome
mtanam I'mt al
kingtoy ouwomant owoman,
youareplay i
ngwithfir
edon' ttrustnami l
o
kwezinsukunazindiyezat akethel aundr
ytothe
nurseryi
fwonqenauy i
zisaekitchenbutdon' t
l
eav eyourbedroom unlockedunl essubhut i
ukhona"
Me:
"youar
ereal
l
ywor
ryi
ngmemama"
Mam Vuy
iseka:
"youshoul
dmychi
l
d,t
hisi
s
l
ifenotaf ai
ryt
aleI
'm sonothappywi thwhatI
haveseenbutallIwil
lsaytoyou, i
twas
distur
bing,asmuchasI '
m workingforyoubut
youar eli
kemychil
drenandthingsyouhav e
donef ormeareoutofthi
swor ldandinget
handi
unibonanenzekel
way i
ntoembi ,domet hat
favourkesanalwam "
Me:
"ngi
zi
lwemamaandt
hanky
ousomuch"

Mam Vuy
iseka:
"pl
easur
esanal
wam "
Me:
"bakuphi
bonaooAy
anda"
Mam Vuyiseka:"t
heywenttot
hemal l
tomake
gr
oceri
es, i
fit
sokcanItakemyleav
ebuses
ar
eonst r
ike"
Me:"wothi
ngi
kuhambi
sekemama"(l
etme
t
akeyouhome)
Mam Vuy
iseka:"noi
tsf
inesanal
wam y
ou
mustbet
ired"
Me:"l
etmefoneAyandaandi
nfor
m hi
mthatI
wi
l
lbetaki
ngyouhome"

Idi
all
edAyanda'snumberandt oldhi
m buthe
i
nsist
edthatwewaitforhim sohambisana
sonke.I
ndeedwetookherhome, Iwassti
l
l
puzzl
edwithwhatshetoldme.

Fort
woweeksAy andawoul
dpickheranddr
op
herl
ate,kwezi
nsukubezangazount
ilt
hestr
ike
wasov er
.

>>>>>>

Weekspassedby, haveyouev erheardwhen

theysayu-
Satanakalal
iengadli
le,tr
ustme20..
Wassonotmyy earwestarteddrif
ti
ngapartno
Ayandaagai
n.Wewoul dpickupsmal lf
ight
s
overstupidthings, atfi
rstIt
houghtthatwi l
l
passbuti nsteadi tgotworse.Havey ouev er
beeninasi tuationwher eindodayakho
i
ngakuf uniImeanbengat hiyoudon'texistor
aveleabanomsi ndowhenhel ooksortalkst o
you.Itwasbet terwhenIknewuzodakwabut
beingignoredbutsomeonewhoi ssober, your
husband, thef atherofachild,theonlyper son
whokeepsonr emi ndi
ngy outhathecan'tlive
withoutyoubel ieveitornotitwaskill
ingme.

Iknewi twasr atherseriousthedayheal most

slappedme, Imadehi m muesli ,y
ouknow
mossy ourhusband, hisfavouratecolour, hi
s
favouratemeal ,whatt urnshim on, his
favouratepositi
oni nbed, whatmakeshi m
swear, cursewheny oumaki ngl ove,whenhei s
aboutt oli
e,whenhei shappy, sadorpi ssed,I
meanuendupumazi mor ethanezazi .Oflatel
y
benentonebr anf lakes,Iaskedhi m oneday
what
supcasIknewhowmuchhedi dn'tl
ike
br
anfl
akesbuthesaideversi
nceChwai t
a
madethem forhi
myazi
thanda,Idi
dn'thavea
pr
obl
em withthat
.

Sothi
sSaturdaywewereal
li
nthet
ablehav
ing
br
eakfast
.Igavehi
m,hi
sbowlofmuesl
i

Ay
anda:
"whati
sthi
s?"
Me:Il
ookedathim "sukel
ani
ningay
azi
i-
muesl
iAyanda"
Ay
anda:
"Idon'
twantt
hisshi
t"
Me: "ther
eisnoneedtoberude,y
oushoul
d
hav
ej ustsai
dyoudon'
twantit"
Ayanda:"i
fyouwer edoi
ngy
ourduti
esaswif
e
pr
operl
yIwouldn'
thaveswor
e,ungumfazi
wothi
niI
nganathi
!!"
Yhooevery
onewentpause!
!!!
!!Iwassoheart
brokenani
nai
deabutIdeci
dedt okeepcal
m

Me: "Idi
dn'
tknowy
oudon'
teatmuesl
i
any
mor e"
Ayanda:"howwereyougoi
ngtoknowcasuy
a-
fai
l
ureasawi f
e,youwoul
dswearumfazi
walaphanguChwai
ta"
Me: "whydon'
tyoumar r
yherthenAyandai f
youdon'
tseemeasawi feany
mor e,
uy ol
anda
i
nkomozakiniekhay
a,therear
emenoutt here
whowouldlovetohavememusukhat heley i
mi "

Yhookwangat hiangi
shongo, hejumpedoffhi
s
chairbutNdumieandMawandebambamba, I
didn'
tmov eaninchbengif
unanj eangi
beke
umwebezawazi umuzionotshwala.
Ayanda:"uyaj
olangokuInganat
hi,y
il
ento
i
kwenzaukwazi uthet
hanam kanj
e,uyaj
ola
I
nganathi!
!!
"Thewayheshout edkwangat
hithe
pl
atesweremov ingonthetabl
e

Me:Isatt her
esor el
axedandcool "my ekel
eni
babomdala,wenay oudarelayyourf il
thyhand
onmeAy anda, IsweartoGody ouwi l
lregret
thedayyoumetmet hedayy ouknewmyf amil
y,
umuqhunyiwe(ify ouarehigh)inguy ona
i
ndawoy oqhunyelwami na"bengi pholel a
eheadoffi
cehesatdown, Icouldf eelhisey es
pier
cingt
hroughmysmal lbody .

Ayanda:"chwai
tandicel
aungenzel
eukudl
a"
hepushedhisbowlsayowangalekwet
aful
a
Chwai
ta:
"ngi
kwenzel
eini
bhut
i"
Ay
anda:
"muesl
i
"
Hay i
ngiy
alingwa,
Ikeptquit
eitwascl
earthat
theonlyfoodhedi
dn'twantwasmine.She
stoodup

Mawande: "fokofwenahl
alaphaphansi
unendodaelapha?"
Chwai
ta:
"nobhut
ibutubhut
iut
..
"
Mawande: "Isai
dsitdown, theonlywifewe
knowher ei
sSi many ewenauy i
ni,
areyouhappy
makunjearey ouhappy, ndandi
thekuSi manye
makakuxosheuf ikaAphanobauy eway oba
ngumarhoshangobay i
leuzoyenzakulendl
u,
uzokwenzaukungcol aaphanalamamakho
nomomkhul uwakho.Youhav edonesomuch
damageal r
eadysosi tthatassdownbengat hi
yayondl
angobaezi ngqelezobubusika
zi
zakubethelausestrat
weni i
fuSimanye
akakuxoshiIwill
.I'
m si
ckandt i
redyil
ekaka
yakho,youmightf
oolev
ery
oneherebutnot
mna, awuyont
okuAyandasobackoffsi
vene"
Chwai
ta:
"ewebhut
i"

Iatemyfoodandwentupst ai
rs,j
ustfew
minut
esndingeni
lePaddlepopstar
tedmaki
ng
babytal
ks,Ipi
ckedherandplayedwithmy
Angel,Chwai
tawalkedin.

Chwait
a:"u-bhut
isendmet
ocomeandt
ake
Ubenat
hi"
Me:"soyourpar
entsdi
dn'
tteachyouthaty
ou
mustf
ir
stknockbef
oreent
eringone'
sroom "
Chwait
a:"no,
arey
ougi
vi
ngmePaddl
epopor
not"

Ir
aisedmyey
ebr
owandl
aughed
Me:l
istenChwai
ta,
thi
sismyhouseIwil
lnot
bedi
srespect
edbyy
ouorany
onesiyev
ana"
Chwait
a:"i
tsonl
ybhut
iwhocant
ell
met
hat
notwena"
Me: "fornow, whil
eyouarest i
l
lstay
ingi
nmy
house, undermyroof,eati
ngmyf ood,usi
ng
myelect r
ici
tyandwaterkusashayaesami
i
sicat
hul okeisthatcl
ear?"

Shelookedatmef
rom bot
tom t
otop,
Iwas
boi
li
nginside

Chwai
ta:
"wagqi
bel
angokonotany
mor
e"
Me:
"meani
ng?
"
Chwait
a: "don'
tyouseewhatisgoingonhere,
youmustbebl i
ndifyoudon'
tseeit.Lomziwas
ri
ghtaboutyou,youarenot
hingbutan
oppor
tuni
st"
Me: "ohhh,soLomzi hasbeenf eedingy ouwit
h
rubbi
sh, Ij
usthopeinwhat everyoual lplanni
ng
youwon'tbedisappointed,
casi fyout hinknalo
Lomzi wakhoIwill
leaveAy andafory out hen
noyit
woni qhunyweizit
hendeoobhozo(t humbz)
abanit
yeni"

"Youaredi
srespectf
ulInganathi
"thatwas
Ayandahecl
appedhi shands"nowy ouar
e
bl
amingMamzof oryourincompetence"
Me: "ohhnowI '
mincompetentt
hatsri
ch
comingfrom you,i
fI'
mincompetentwhydon'
t
youaskyourbloodycompetentmothert
ofi
nd
youacompet entwi
fe.

Ayanda:"wel
lthat
'si
tSi
many
egetoutofmy
house"
Me:
"Excuseme"
Ayanda:"y
ouhear
dme, packal
lyourt
hings
andleav
emyhouse..
..
."

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
12]Mca:
INSERT184

Idon'tknowwhatgoti ntoAy anda, whydi dhe

hatemet hatmuchandhonest ly ,
whathav eI
donesengi xoshwanj e?butIwassonotgoi ng
tostandther eandlist ent other ubbishhewas
sayi
ng, Ipushedmywayoutandwentt othe
l
ounge, Ay andaf ol
lowedcar r y
ingPaddl epop,
oobabomdal awer eal l t
hereIj ustfloppedon
thecouchandkeptqui te.I
twasr atherchil
lyso
noonehadpl ansofgoi ngoutorsomesor t
Msirawasbusyenzauml i
l
oi nt hefi
r epl
ace,
everyonewasl aughi ngwhatpi ssedmeof fwas
thefactthatAy andawascool asi fallwaswell
af
terhej
ustcal
l
edmeani
ncompet
entwi
fe.

Istoodupandwentt owasht hedisheswhenI

wasdoneIwentr oom byr oom changi
ngli
nen
asmuchasIknowI 'mlazybuttrustmewhen
I'
m pissedIdomi racl
es, Ihoov
edr oom by
room.3hour slat
erIwasdoneIwentbackt o
theguy sIwassonoti nthemoodf orsmal
l
chatssoIdecidedt ogoandbebusywi thmy
books.

"Somethi
ngisnotrightwi t
hy oulastbornand
don'tt
ell
mey ouokcast hetearsiny ourf
ace
saysital
lisi
tbecauseofwhatAy andasaidthi
s
mor ni
ng"Ilif
tedmyheadandt hatwasNdumi e
standi
nginthedoor, It
ouchedmyf aceIdidn'
t
evenreal
izedIwascr yi
ng.

Me:
"I'
m okbabomdal
a"
Ndumie:"tal
ktomelastborn,whydoy oukeep
onbott
li
ngthi
ngsup, t
hisiskil
l
ingy ouIcan
seeyouarehurt
ingi
fyoudon'tfeelcomf or
tabl
e
tal
ki
ngtomegobackt oy ourpsychologi
st"
Me:
"Iwi
l
lthi
nkabouti
tbabomdal
a"
Ndumi
e:"al
way
sknowwear
eher
efory
oul
ast
bor
n"
Me:
"Iknowbabomdal
aandt
hanky
ou"

Icont i
nuedwithwhatIwasdoi ng,i
biyaisinka
l
ent okaAy andathatI'
m anincompet entwi f
e.I
wast i
redofhisbull
shit,t
ir
edofev erythi
ng, I
didn'tdoanythi
ngtohimi nfactIhaven'tdone
anythingwronghekeepsongi v i
ngandIhav eto
takehi sshi
t,onethingIknowbengi ngazalwa
nayeandbengi ngenzelel
wangat otakehi sshit
.

Myhusbandal
mosthi
tmef
orwhatnobody
knows, yeshewasmyl i
fe,myev er
ythinghe
wast hatkindofapersonwhowoul dmakemy
l
ifeeasyanddi ffi
cul
tatthesamet i
meIr eal
l
y
l
ov edhim notthathehadev er
y thi
ngnobutI
j
ustl ovedhim, Iwassonotgoi ngtobeghi mto
l
ov emenomaengasangi thandi.Ipackedmy
booksandwal kedupstairs,Itookoutmy
suitcases,
wentt omyclosetandst arted
packingmyst uffandPaddlepop' s.

OnethingIloveaboutisi
koleallt
hepai n,
suff
eri
ngandhar dwor kthatyougot hroughto
getyourgrade12andt ogety ourDiplomaor
Degreeyougettoreapi nti
mesl i
ket hese,
Educati
onmademei ndependent, yesIwas
dependenttoAyandafinancial
lybecausehe
chosetobutIwasani ndependentwomanand
deepdownheknewt hatev enatdawni f
becabangangokungixoshahewaswast i
nghis
ti
me, Iwasnotgoingtobest r
andedi twasjust
amatt
erofphoni
ngacabingi
-dr
oppere-hot
el
i
fmyparent
sdidn'
thaveahousei
nCapeTown
andt
akeitf
rom t
here.

Iwasdonepacki
ngIwentdownst
air
swi
thmy
sui
tcase.

Me: "babomdal
awil
lyouhel
pmewi
thot
her
sui
tcasespl
ease"
Chwai
ta:
"goi
ngonav
acat
ion"

Iwantedt
osl
apacr
ossherf
acebutIdeci
dedt
o
i
gnoreher

Ndumi
e:"l
astbor
nyoudon'
tmeant
his"
Me:
"pl
easebabomdal
anotnow"
Msi
ra:
"ngumendowakhol
oInganat
hi
akwenzi
waso,youhaveinv
estedsomuchin
thi
smarri
agey
oucan'tj
ustthr
owitaway"

Icouldf
eelt
ear
spushi
ngthroughmyeyes,
I
real
lydi
dn'
ti
maginemysel
fleavi
ngAy
andal
ike
that

Ndumi
e:"wher
ear
eyougoi
ng"
Me:
"homebabomdal
a"
Ndumi
e:"t
hisi
syourhome"

YhoooIjustbrokedownni nani,Ndumieheld
met i
te,Icri
edtil
lIhadhiccups,deepdownI
sti
l
llovedAyandawi t
hallmyhear tandsoul ,
Paddlepopstartedcry
ingtooAy andatri
edto
cal
m herbutbengazwi l
e,forthefir
stti
meu-
Ubenathiahl
ulau-AyandaIt ookherand
cal
medhernott hatIhadst oppedcryi
ng, I
reall
ycoul dn'
ttakeit,Iwant edAyandat ohol d
meandt ellmet hathestill
lovedmet hathe
didn'tmeanwhathesai d, Iwantedt ohearhi m
saying"y oubringthebestkul entwana
yakwaKhumal obuthedi dn'teventrytol ookat
met hatmademecr ymor e.Hewasst anding
againstthekitchencount er,Iwentclosert ohim

Me:
"Yandapl
ease,
tal
kto.
."
Hey ankedmyhand,Icr
iedsouncont r
oll
abl
e,I
satdownandcri
edmor ehewentupst ai
rsand
camedownwi t
hoursuitcases,thati
swhenI
knewIwasnotneeded,itwaslikeIhavebeen
stabbed200t
imesinmyhear t.

Iwasn'tcryi
ngbecauseIwasafraidofthenew
l
ifethatwaswaiti
ngforme, Iwasn'
tafr
aid
becausebendingazuf
umanthebenefit
sof
beingAyanda'swifeNo!!,
Ihadmyownhouse
atHighbury, Iwasgoingt oaffordthetopofthe
rangecarbengi yi
funa,i
fIwant edtobuymy
ownhouseandnotl i
veinmypar ent'
shomeI
wascer t
ainlygoingtoaffordit,rememberIhad
beenwor kingforalmost2y earsandhav en'
t
usedmymoneyIst il
lhadt hemoneyIgotf rom
mybur sari
esandIhadf ullbackupf r
om my
parentsbutwhatmademecr ythemostwas
thefactthatIreall
ylovedAy andabutashar das
i
twasIhadt ocol l
ectmy self
,Iwipedmyey es.

Me: "wi
ll
y ouescor
tmet
oKui
l
sri
ver
babomdala?"
Ndumie:"no,y
ouaregoingtomyhouse,you
wi
llst
aywithme,Iwon'
tall
owyoutostayt
here
al
one"
Me:
"Iwi
l
lbeokr
eal
l
y"
Ndumi
e:"no,
letmegoandt
akemykey
s"
Msi
ra:
"wear
eal
socomi
ngwi
thy
ouguy
s"
Iwai
tedf
orthem t
heytookmysui
tcase
MawandetookPaddl
epop

Me: IlookedatAy anda"t akecar eofy our self

Mt ungwa, I'
m sorryf orbei ngt heopposi teof
whaty ouwant edinawi fe, I'
m sor ryforwast i
ng
yourt ime, j
ustt akecar eofy ourselfifnotf or
yousel fbutf orUbenat hi".Godknowhowmuch
Ilov edAy andaandIwasnotgoi ngt ostop
l
ov inghi m butonet hingf orsur eIwasn' tgoi ng
tof or cehi mt oloveme.It henr ushedt ot he
door, onlythewet nessi nmyf acei bi
shohow
didIf eel atthatmoment .YESIwasl eav i
ngmy
husbandwi thagi rl,inourhouse, agirlIt
ooki n
wi t
hmywhol ehear t,thegi rlItreatedli
kemy
ownsi ster.Igoti ntomycar, Itri
edtopr ess
thei gni t
ionbut tonbutIcoul dn'tIwast rembl ing
, Il
ai dmyheadont hest eer i
ngwheel andcr i
ed
mor e.
Msiracame,heheldmyar m andledmet ohis
car,Igoti
ntothepassengerseat.Hestart
ed
thecar,herev
ersedMawandeandNdumi e
wereoutsi
dethey ardal
redy.Ihel
dhishandhe
l
ookedandme, tearsdi
dn'tstopbengat
hi
ngiy
ahlanya."
No" !
!!
!

Msi
ra:
"Lastbor
n"
Me: "No, babomdal aI'
m notl eavingmy
husband, I'm notleav i
ng, thisismyhome, my
houseandPaddl epop' shome, whyshoul dIgo
, Ihavemadev owsbabomdal aandIwi ll
sti
ck
wi t
hAy andat hrought hickandt hin, Ihave
madeav owt hatIwon' tleavehimi fhedoesn' t
wantmet henhemustl eav e.Somet hingisnot
ri
ghther e,Ay andacan' tjustfalloutofl ovewit
h
meoutoft hebl uesomet hingdoesn' taddup
runningawayf rom themat terwon'thelpbutit
wi l
lmaket hingswor se, i
fthedev iluqonde
mi naIwilldeal wit
hhi m, Igotof fandwal ked
backtothel
ounge,
chwai
tawasint
heki
tchenI
guessYandawasupst
air
scashewasnotther
e.

Chwai
ta:
"It
houghty
oul
eftal
ready"
Me: "youthoughtwrongbabegal
,I'
m not
goingany wherebuti
fIwereyouIwouldbet
ter
startpackingmyshit"
Chwai
ta:
"mf
xmm"
Me: "phindeut
shoobobubhanxaChwai
ta
ndakukhabauphambane,"

Ndumi
ewal
kedi
n

Ndumi
e:"andt
hen?
?"Ay
andacamedown
Ayanda:
"anduf
unani
wenaaphaubungahambi
"
Me:
"ify
out
houghtIwasl
eav
ingt
heny
ouhav
e
anotherthingcomi ngbhut i
, I
'
m notgoing
anywher e,t
hisi smyhouset oo,ifyoudon't
wantmegoanddi vorcemeasl ongasI '
m sti
l
l
mar r
iedt oyouI '
m notgoinganywher e,whenI
mar r
iedy ouadi dn'
tsignupf oruhambe
ndihl
alandi nendlusobonai cebobhutiyouare
fr
eet oleavei fusukhathel
ey i
mi."Iwalked
upstair
s, hehel dmyhel d

Me:
"letgoof
fmyhandwena"hel
etgo
Ay
anda:
"ncncnc"

Me: "your
atherstar
tlooki
ngforacheaperf
lat
andmakesurey ougetitbef
oretheendof
today"
Ay
anda:
"forwho,
I'
m notgoi
ngany
wher
e"
Me:"y
ouar
enotgoi
ngany
wher
evel
ebutshe
i
s"
Chwai
ta:
"I'
m notgoi
..
."
Me: "wasItalki
ngtoyouwena,
shutt
hehel
l
uporlonkebenkebeyoml
omonzayi
val
a
ngenqi
ndi"
Ay
anda:
"uMamzowon'
tbehappybhabha"
Me:
"doIgi
veaf
ly"
Ay
anda:
"butshei
smymot
her"
Me:"andI'
my ourwif
eAy anda,
Ihavetol
erat
ed
t
hebull
shi
taroundherenotanymore"
Ay
anda:"howdoy
ouexpectmet
ofi
ndaf
lat
wi
thi
naday"
Me: "AyandadoIlookli
keIcar
e, makemeans
bhut
i Iwantchwait
aoutofmyhouset omor
row
morning,am Imaki
ngmy sel
fcl
ear"

Hekeptqui
te
Me:
"am Imaki
ngmy
sel
fcl
earAy
anda"
Ay
anda:
"yesI
ngay
hooo.
..
"Il
ookedatChwai
ta

Me:"wenastartpacki
ngy ourt
hingsungashi
yi
ni
ksuyakhoendli
niyam .
..
"

Iwenttothekitchenandst art
edcooki ngIreall
y
di
dn'tcareuthiAyandauy it
holanj anii-
fl
at,
I
di
dn'tcarewhetheru-Lomzi andBoni swa
bezathi
niAyandawasmyhusbandi fIhadto
l
oseherasamot her-in-lawi twasgoi ngtobe
hundredtimesbet t
erthanl osingmyhusband,
ukuvekuthweabant ubay akushi nt
sha
somewher esomehowt heydo, wheny ousoft
andaccommodat ivetheytakeadv ant
ageofy ou
butIref
usedt obeadoormatf oranyone..
..
I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
12]Mca:
INSERT185

Ayandawenttothestudymumbli
ngsomet hi
ng
aboutmebeingdisr
espect
ful
andthatnoone
haseverspokentohi
mt hewayIdi
d, Idi
dn't
carehl
ebathong.

Mawande:
"oursi
ster-
in-
lawi
sback,
Ili
ke
t
hat"
Msi
ra:
"hi
ghf
ivel
ast
bor
n"
Ndumie:"sowemustt
akethesui
tcasesback,
hayi
lastbor
nthi
sti
meyouwil
lpayme"
Me: "whenI
'm wor
kingbabomdal
a,cof
fee?"
Theyall
nodded

Ndumi
e:"don'
tst
arty
ouar
ewor
king"
Me: "no,Idon'
tandnowIwil
lbehusbandless
ei
sh,sekumelengi
qal
engi
celeamadonations.I
wi
llgiveyoumybanki
ngdetai
lsguy
s, donati
on
st
artsatR5000hle"
Mawande:"uyahl
anya,youhaveari
ch
husband,
youaccounti
s10Xr i
chert
hanour
s"
Me: "whi
chhusband,Ihavebeenki
ckedout,
andgotavot
eofnoconf i
dencewit
hcapit
al
INCOMPETENTy hoooni
yadlal
a"

Weal
ll
aughed.

Msira:"howdoy oudoi
tlastborn,f
ew
minutesearl
i
er,youwer
ecr y
ingli
keyouwere
goi
ngt opassout,nowyouarejoki
ng,l
aughi
ng
l
ikenothi
nghashappened"
Me:"doyouwannaknowormustIgi
vey
out
he
r
eci
pe?"
Mawande:
"Iwoul
dlov
etohav
eitmy
sel
f"
Ndumi
e:"ni
ngandi
shi
yinami
"
Me: "ok,l
istenguys,Ineedy
outol
ist
en
att
enti
vel
y, i
fuphosethemeasur
ements,
usuyi
phosi
lecompletel
y"
Msi
ra:
"wear
eli
steni
ngkal
oku"

Me: "ok,getmarr
iedtoTaKi
ll
erandtr
ustme
youautomati
cal
lyswit
chedf
rom bei
ngthecr
y
babytoaDiehardgir
l"
Msi
ra:"y
ouar
ecrazywena,
Ithoughtt
hatngu
Ay
andawhoi
scrazybuty
ouareworse"
Me:"f
okofMsimel
elo,am Iwri
ttenmadei
n
Chi
na"Ii
mit
atedYanda'svoice
Mawanda:
"lethi
m heary
ousayt
hat"
Me: "azot
hiwenaNduphi
ndeundiqhwabe
zawunyasani,
I'
m noty
ourpunchi
ngbag"
Weal
ll
aughed

Ndumi
e:"t
hat
'smyl
i
ttl
ebr
otherf
ory
ou"
Me: "wheredidIgowr ongkumy eni
wami ,why
i
shesocol d,whatgotint
ohim "Iwascry
ing
Lordknowhowpai nfuli
twasMsi ragav
eme
theti
ghtesthug.

Ndumie:
"kuzol
ungal
astbor
n,y
ouhav
ecome
t
hisf
ar"
Mawande:
"I'
m gl
ady
oudi
dn'
tgol
astbor
n"
Me:"andletanot
herwomanbeumamncane
kaPaddlepoporbelast
bornkobabomdal
a
bamiIref
use,Ismil
edbetweenmytear
s.

wehadsupper
,Ibat
hedPaddl
epop,
shower
ed
andIwenttooneofthespar
ebedr
oom ,I
tuckedPaddlepopi
nandwentonmyknees
andprayedthengoti
nbed.

Godi twasmyf i
rstt i
mesl eepingwi thPaddl e
popi nbedal onei nganey ami bizov ukaot huli
ni
trustme.Iwassoscar edngi ngaqwashi Ir
eally
hadal ongdaysoIcoul ddowi t
hagoodsl eep
andngamandl akaJesuIdozedof fimmedi atel
y
, Iwokeupf ol
lowi ngday, wonder ingif
angimpitsizangauPaddl epopy ini.Imov edmy
head, yhooot heshockIhadmyheadwas
restedintosomet hing,didIsl eepont opofmy
child?Itri
edt omov e,butIcoul dn' t"Uyaphi
bhabha? "Mf xmm i twasAy anda, hishandwas
aroundmywai stIwassonoti nt hemoodf or
him, Paddlepopwassl eepingont opofhi m
andmyheadwasonhi slef tshoul der.
Ay
anda:
"mor
ningbhabha"mf
xmm
Me:
"hay
imaar
nwenauf
unani
la?
"
Ay
anda:
"shhhl
alabhabhay
afundekel
a"
Me: "y
afundekel
a,yaf
undekel
amyl
eftt
oe,
whatareyoudoingher
e?"
Ayanda:"howwasIsupposetosl
eepwit
hout
mywi f
eandmychi l
dandyouknowlal
akakubi
bhabhabuzaci
ndezel
auPaddl
epop"
Me: "mfxmmm youdon'
thav
eawi
feAy
anda
asi
yi
lebuyi
xoshi
l
e"
Ay
anda:
"bhabhawhatgoti
ntome?"
Me: "angazi
Ayanda,
howam Isupposet
o
know"
Ayanda:"somethi
ngisnotr
ightwi
thmeI
nga,
I
'm notmysel
f,doyouthi
nkIneedhel
p"
Me: "Hay
iAyandaIdon'
tknow, i
nfactIdon't
wannaknowbonauthini
,I'
mr eal
l
yt i
redmi na,
I
'm al
soahumanbeing, hayi
njengikhathele,
nawenjeawuzazi
ufunani
aphat
hemai
nbedi
s
al
lyour
s"
Ayanda:
"Icoul
dn'tsleepalonebhabha,t
he
bedwascol
d, i
nfactIdidn'
tsleepatal
l
"

Ist
oodupandl
ookedformycosmet
icsbagI
wantedmyt
oot
hbrush.

Ayanda:"it
snotherebhabha,
Ihav
epacked
yourthi
ngsbacki
nourbedroom"heputPaddl
e
popwhowasf astasl
eepinbedandcameto
me.

Ayanda: "enkosibhabhaf ornotl

eaving,f
or
notleavi
ngme, whatIdi dit
sunfor
givabl
e,I
don'tknowwhyIdi dit,het r
iedtoholdmyhand
,Iyankedi tandexi
tedt hebedroom andwent
tothemai nbedroom indeedhepackedour
stuffbacktowher etheywer e,I
'm surehewent
tobedaf ter12.It
ookashower, l
oti
oned
my selfandputagown.Iwentt otheki t
chen
andst art
edwi t
hbreakfastafter9wehad
breakfastandYandawasdonebat hingPaddle
popandhef edher.Het ookashowerwhenhe
wasdoneIwasbusydr essingPaddl epop,I
starteddressi
ngmy selfforchurch.
Ayanda: "I
'm goi
ngwi t
hy ouguy s"hewentto
hisclosetcamewi thhissuitwagqoka, wewer e
alldoneIgav ehim hisbibl
enecul oandl
eft
.On
ourwayt ochurchhet r
iedtomakesmal lchats
butinhlizi
yoyami i
bishonil
e, Iwasnotangry
withAy andabutIwasnotr eadytotalkt
ohim
yet.

Ayanda: "If
oundagr annyfl
atforChwait
aits
aroundanditsreasonabl
eandt heysayi
ts
furni
shedIhavemadet hedepositandbafune
nepro-rat
asinceit
sthemi ddl
eoft hemonthso
shei
sgoi
ngt
omov
eint
omor
row"

Ikeptquitest i
l
l ,it
snott hatIhateduChwai ta
bendingamzondi itsheratti
tudet hatIdi
dn'
tli
ke
andbengi ngazophi lakakubiendliniyam
ngengxay akhe, Iwasst il
lgoingtopayf orher
regi
strati
onf ol
lowi ngyearirrespecti
veofshe
wasnotst ayi
ngwi t
husandIr eallydi
dn'
thavea
probl
em i nYandar enti
ngheraf l
atupuntil
akwazi uzirentala.

Ayanda:"Inganathit
alktomemf aziwam , t
his
si
lentt
reat
menti skil
li
ngme, I
'mreall
ysor ry
bhabhaforwhatIhav esaidanddi d"that'
s
beauti
esofintooyit
hethi
le,youcan'ttakeit
backyoucan'teraseit,i
tstaysthereforever.

Wegoti
nchur
ch,
theser
vicewasgreat,
aft
er
t
hechur
chwewentvi
ashopIneededfew
thi
ngsf orendli
ni.Onourwayt otheparkingwe
meetAsa, 'Asavela'yourememberhert he
youngladyImeti napartye-Somersetwhi l
eI
wasst i
llpregnant,yesshewaswi thher
boyfr
iend.Shegr eetedandwegr eetedback,I
didcasAy andadi dn'
t

Asa: "youleftbefor
eIcouldtakeyournumber
thatdayInga, canIhaveyournumberplease"
shegav emeherphoneIt appedint
oherscreen
beforeIcouldfini
shitAyandaroughlyt
ookthe
foneander asedthenumber"
Ayanda: "Idon'
twantyouandy oursneaky
boyfr
iendnearmywi f
e, machani(go)ke"
Mzimasi:
"heeeeKi
l
lerwhat
'
swr
ongwheni
-
vr
ouyakhoi.
..
..
"
Ayanda:"akhobel
laszazi
fumanaapha, and
kwedini
youcomenearmywi fenzakubulal
a
unyesani,l
et'
sgobhabha...
."Wegoti nt
ot he
car,
hesecur
eUbenat
hi'
sseatandwentt
ohi
s
si
de

Me:"youar
enotmyfat
herAyandaandy
ou
don'
townmeIcanl
ookaft
ermy sel
f"
Ayanda:"don'tst
artI
nganat
hi,
Idon'
twant
thatbi
tchduzekwakho"
Me:"mfxmmm, Iwi
ll
seewhoev
erIwannasee
,whet
heryoul
i
keitornot"
Ayanda:"heywenaInganat
hi,youthi
nkI'
m
crazy,l
anj
aisbadnews, uf
unuhambeu...
.,
ndakubonanj
eInganat
hiduzekwalamntanaI
swearIwil
lki
ll
youwithmybarehands. .
..
."

Mf
xmmmm

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
13]Mca:
INSERT186

Chwai tai ndeedmov edint oherf l

atandwas
sti
llwor kingatSpur .Followingday ,itwasj ust
aft
er4am whenIr eceivedacal lfr
om Lomzi ,
I
knewwhatshewasgoi ngt osay, Ianswer ed
andputonl oudspeakerhay i
kebabahshe
swor eatmecal l
ingmet hewi tcht hathas
bewi t
chedhi ssonandt hatthel ovepor t
ionI
havegi venhi m onedayi zophel a,shewenton
sayingt hatI'm af akeI '
m onl ywi thAy andacas
hehasmoneyandt hatherni ecei st heright
personf orAy andabecausesheknowshowt o
tr
eatamanandshewasr aisedbyar eal
womannotahal fl adylikemymom
obekhul iselwainganey akheel eqaumsebenzi
andt hatIwi llbeexact lyl i
keherandbul l
y
Ayandai nlookingf ormychi ldrencas
ngimdlisi l
e.Shewentonamonol oguet el
ling
mehowmymot herf ail
edt or aisemeshewent
onsay ingI '
m nothingbutaspoi ltbr atanda
golddi gger.Sheaddedbyt ell
i
ngmeI 'mthebad
i
nf l
uencet ot heKhumal osandt hatI 'mtheone
whomadeKamv aangaml alel
i.Shesai dImight
hav ewont hi
sroundbutkogci nay enacas
Ay andawashersonandhewi llf
inal l
ysee
throughme.Hay ibengivel
elweshame.Ay anda
want edt orespondbutIsi ghedt ol etgoandhe
l
istenedshame.Shet alked, t
alkedandt al
ked
anddr oppedherf onewhenshewasdonecasI
didn'tutterawor d.

Ist
il
lsayLomziwasmymot her-i
n-lawas
l
ongasIwasst i
l
lmarri
edtoAyandaandIwas
sonotgoingt
odisr
espectheri
rr
espect
iveof
howshetreat
edme.

Thi
ngsgotbet
terdaybydaywewerefi
ne
wet
hunoYandaagainwespokeaboutwhat
happenedandmov edonlifei st ooshor ttohol d
grudges.OurAngel wascrawl ingbekuf i
wa
babahebemoshaper i
odshewasacr awl i
ng
earthquakewithcapi t
alElaaf ikekhona
bekubonakala.Bekumel ehlaleumqophi l
e
bekubawor sewhenshewasqui teay edwahay i
kebuf i
kaiyidi
saster.Onet hingIhav epi ckedup
Ubenat hi
wasgoi ngt obecheekymaseemdal a,
minakepeopl eububel eangi nabonj eindalo
umunt uomoshay ohay ichaangi hlekinje
benginomshay alaesandleni ngemi nyei f
ucabangamychi l
dwoul dcr yy ouwast ingy our
ti
me, anothert
hingt hatwasi rritat
ingme
Ayandabengaf uniinganeikhal inyweandIwas
sonotgoi ngtoraiseaspoi ltbr atnje.

Begi
nni
ngofJul
y..
..
.

School
swer
ecl
osedwhi
chmeansuKamv
awas
onhol i
dayandbabomdal a(Xhant
i)wason
l
eav esotheyfl
ewdownt oCapeTownwith
Keamoget sebabomdalabembizango
Chulumanco, I
ndiphi
lewaswithustoo,
and
HlengieMsira'
sgirl
fr
iendsoitwasaful
lhouse
Idon'twannali
eIenjoyedeachandevery
moment, t
hehousewasnev erdul
l.

Inawaywegotal ongwi thKamv a,shewasnot

thatbadshameandaf terallshewasmymy
mar i
tal f
ami l
ymember .Wewoul dallgof
or
shoppi ngngeweekends, Yandawasnothappy
thoughbuthedi dn'thav eachoice.Sothi
sday
wewer eatJabul ai nCapeTownnaboKamv a
andAsacamei n, Iintr
oducedt hem andweall
chattedandexchangednumber shhawuIwas
sonotgoi ngtoli
st entoAy andahayinjeune
trustissuestoomuchany wayAsaseemedt o
beav erynicegalev enthoughtshewasf orever
talki
ng.
Wewer et al
kingnowandagai nno- Asaov ert
he
foneandsomet i
meswewoul dmeetupf or
l
unch.I twast heweekendwher ewewer egoing
tomeett hemy steri
ousy oungerbr otheryo
Ayanda, sowechoseSat urdaycasi tsashor t
dayshopscl osedaft er1ezi nyeaf ter3.Soaf ter
12weal ldrovetoBel lvi
lle.Iwentt oEdgar sno
Kamv aandHl engie, Ireallydidn'
tknowwhatt o
saymandi fi
kakuy e, honest l
ywhatwasI
supposet osay.Wegoti nt herey hoooKamv a
screamed, peoplelookedatus, Idon' tblame
herthough"nguy eInganat hi,nguAy andaehleli
"shamei nganey abant ulookedatus
astonished, Iexplai
nedt ohi m whywewer e
thereluckyenoughher ecogni zedme.Heasked
ust ogivehim anhour, hewasgoi ngt oknock
offinanhour sti
me.I ndeedwedi dandwewent
back, hewasskept ical ofleavingwi t
hust o
wher eooAy andawer ebutIconv incedhi mI
don'tblamehi m peopl egetr obbedbywomen
butheagr eed, t
rustmewhenIsayhewas
Ayanda' sr epl i
cawewentt oTy gervall
eyfor
l
unchwhi cht heyt alkedment omanaf t
er4we
wentt odr ophi mi nDel f,hewasst ay i
ngina
backroom , thecondi ti
onoft her oom wasso
notconduci veat all.Appar entl
yhewasbor n
hereinCapet own, hermot herwasst ayi
ngwith
herAunti nUmf uleni butshepassedawaywhen
hewasdoi nggr ade10t henaftergrade12he
couldn'tf
ur therhi sst udiessohehasbeen
workingasasecur i
ty.Or i
ginal
lyhisf amil
yis
fr
om Sadai nEast er ncape.Wespentsome
ti
meandAy andapr omi sedt ocomebackagai n.

Sothi
sfr
idayIgotacall
from Asa,i
twas
al
mostmyknockof ft
ime, Ianswer
ed.

Me:
"heyAsa,
howar
eyoudoi
ng?
"
Asa:
"I'
m goodenxandy
ou?
"
Me:
"I'
m gr
eathey"
Asa:
"ar
eyoudr
ivi
ngorhusbydr
oppedy
ou?
"
Me:
"youknowkwaKhumal
okunj
ani
dear"
Asa:"I
'
m comi
ngt
ofetchyou,wewi
l
lgof
ora
dr
inkwi
lldr
opy
ouaft
eranhour"
Me: "ar
ggghh,don'
tfeel
li
kegoi
ngoutAsaand
Idoubtmyhusbandzobashar
pwitht
hat"
Asa:"pl
easeInga,
mypl
acei
sdepr
essi
ngme,
anhournj
eplease"
Me:
"okf
ine,
wil
lwai
tfory
ou"
Asa:"noneedI
'
m wai
ti
ngf
ory
ou,
I'
m att
he
par
kingl
ot"
Me: "y
oucr
azyAsa,howdoyouaskumunt
u
ahambenay
ekanti
usulal
a?"

Iwal
kedt
othepar
kingl
otandi
ndeedshewas
wait
ingforme.If
onedYandabuti
trangr
ang
andrang.It
exthi
m aDM tel
l
inghi
m hemust
'nt
worr
yaboutme

Wedr ovet oSeapoi ntinoneoft hecl ubs, ei

shh
Iwassonotsur ebutAsaseemedt oknowi t
l
iket hebackofherhand.Wegoti nIwassonot
comf ortablebuti tgoteasi er,t
hreel adiesjoined
ust heyseem t oknowAsa, wechat tedov erour
dri
nks, Iwasdr inki
ngmypower adeand
beziphuzel athei rownt hings.Besekuy akuba
packedwhi chmeansi twasget tinglat e,I
remember edIl eftmyf onei nmybagandi twas
i
nAsa' scar, Iwant edt oleav ephela
nginenganebutshepr omi sedt ot akemeaf t
er
30mi nwhi chi twasn' tat r
ai nsmashbutI
neededmyf onesoshegav emehercarkey s
andIwentt ot akemybag.Icamebacky hoooI
had46mi ssedcal l
sfrom Ay anda,
oobabomdal aandooKamv a, andamessage
fr
om Ayanda"
WHEREEVERYOUAREYOU
BETTERBUYANEMPTYTAKEAWAYPLATE
CASTHISISWHATIWILLUSEASYOUR
COFFINNJOBAUNGAMAMELINJE,IWI
LL
BURYYOUALIVEI
NGANATHI"

Iknewshitwasabouttohappen, Ifel
tmy
thr
oatwentdryimmediat
ely,Idrankmyhalf
poweradeatonce,Iwasstil
lthi
rsty

Asa:
"husby"
Inodded
Asa:
"mustIbr
ingy
ouanot
herone"
Inodded,shebr
oughtmeanotherone,
Idi
all
ed
Yanda'snumberitr
angonce

Ayanda:"heywenaInganat
hiuhambaIcl
ubs
now, uf
unanieSeapoint
?"
Me:
"Iwentwi
thAs.
..
."Ntntmybat
ter
ywent
deady
hoooo.

Asa: "comewi thme, Iwil

lgi
vey oumyf one"I
stoodupbutIf el
tdizzy, weak,Asaledmet o
thi
spl aceitseemedl ikeanof f
icekinda-pl ace
therewer et hreeguy s,insuit
st woguy swer e
sohugeandwayt oobl acktobeSout hAfri
cans
andt heiraccentwassoNor thofAf r
icaandt he
thi
rdguyIl ookedathi m helookedf amili
arifI
wasokIwoul dhav erecognizedhi m onthe
wordgo, yesi twasAsa' sboyfri
endMzi masi ,
suddenl yIfeltsohotf ewmi nuteslaterIhad
coldflashes.

Itr
iedtocallforAsabutshewasnowher et
o
befound, Iwantedtocal
lforAy
anda, Iwasso
scaredtodeat hIwant
edmyhusband, butt
he
mor eItri
edthemor ei
tswasdif
fi
culttospeak,
everyt
hingseemedasi fi
twasspinningand
tur
ning,t
heonlythi
ngIrememberwast he
bangonthedoorandIheardv oi
cesifIwasokI
wouldsayloudvoi
cesbuttheywerefarfr
om
whereIwas,mybodystiff
ened..
..
..
..

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
13]Mca:
INSERT187

WhenIwokeup, Iwassoconfused,myhead
wassoheav y,youcouldswearIhadacol l
isi
on
wit
hatraindependingonthetypeofcoll
isi
onI
hadwhetheritwaselast
icori
nelast
ic,Itri
edto
thi
nkhardwhereIwasandwhyIwast here, I
l
ookedaroundandwi thoutadoubtIwasnoti n
myhouse.Thewomanwhowasi ntheroom
cametomeassoonasshesawIwasawake.

Woman:
"goodmor
ningmybabyhowdoy
ou
f
eel
?"
Me:
"ti
redt
hanxf
oraski
ng,
wher
eam I"
Woman: "y
ouar
einhospi
tal
atMedi
cli
nic,
CapeTowninOr
anj
ezi
cht"
Me:
"whyam Iher
e"
Si
ster:
"youdon'
tremember"
Me:
"no"
Si
ster:"don'
tworryy
ouoknowandsaf e,y
ou
doctorwil
lbeher
esoonandyourhusbandtoo
heleft10minago"

Ri
t et
henAy andawalkedinnobabomdal ano
Kamv a,Ayandastoodfarfrom me,hedidn'
t
evenlookatme, hewentt osi
tinthechairt
hat
wasinthewar d.Oobabomdalagreeted,I
greet
edback.Kamv acamenextt ome.
Kamva:"howarey oufeel
i
ngsi
si"me:"I
'
m not
sur
eKamv a,onl
yifIknewwhyI'
m her
e,maybe
Iwi
llf
eelbet
ter"
Xhant
i:"y
oudon'
trememberl
ast
bor
n?"

Ishookmymi
nd

Xhanti:
"thenAy
andawi
l
ltel
lyouwhent
imei
s
ri
ght"

Thent
hedoct
orcamei
n.

Doc:"MrsKhumalo,I
'm gl
ady
ouar
eawake,
yougotusworr
iedl
astni
te"

Ij
ustsmil
ed,hel
ookedatmyin-l
awsand
cl
earedhi
sthr
oat,Iknewhewant
edsome
pr
ivacy

Me:
"no,
don'
twor
rydoct
ort
heyar
eal
lfami
l
y"
Doc: "
ok,Mr
sKhumal
oIbel
i
evey
ouhav
e
car
diacpr
obl
ems"
Me:
"yesdoct
or"
Doc: "y ouneedt obecar efulMrsKhumalo,
peoplewi thsuchcondi ti
onareratherahighri
sk
, youhadasei zur
elastni t
ethatcouldhave
result
edi nfatal.Wef oundFlunit
razepam i
n
yoursy stem".YhooooAy andaalmostbrokethe
hospitalchairwealllookedathi m, hel
owered
thechai randleftt
hewar d.

Me:
"whati
sthatdoct
or?
"
Doc:"thest
reetnamei
sRohy
pnol
,iti
sadat
e
rapedr
ug"
Me:
"adat
erapedr
ug?
"
Doc: "yes, i
tmighthappent hatyoutookit
withoutknowi ng,t hedangerofi ti
sthatyou
can'tseewheny ourdr i
nkhasbeenspi kedand
youcan' tsmel l
itcasi t
sodour less,itmight
happent hatsomeonespi kedy ourdr
ink,i
fyou
wer en'tr
ushedi mmedi atelyformedical
attentionthewor stcouldhav ehappenedbut
yourhusbandi ssosur ethaty ouweren't
penet rat
ed, weal socheckedt herearenosigns
thaty ouwer eforcelypenetrated."

Imadeadeepsi
gh,
Iremember
edwhat
happened.

Doc:"Iwi
l
lcheckupony oubeforeIl
eav
ebut
wil
lkeepyoufort
henight,Iwannamakesur
e
t
hatyouareokbefor
edischargi
ngyou"
Me:
"nopr
obl
em doct
orandt
hanksomuch"
hewr
otesomet
hingi
nmyf
olderandl
eft"

Ndumie:
"rel
ax,
hewi
l
lcomear
oundhei
sjust
angr
y"
Me:"Ishouldhav
eli
stenedbabomdal
a,I
al
mostgotrapedhowcanIbesostupi
d"
Ndumi
e:"youar
enotst
upi
dlast
bor
nyousee
t
hebesti
npeopl
eyoual
waysthi
nkt
heyt
hink
t
hewayyoudo"
Me:
"I'
m suchaf
ool
"

Ndumi
e:"wewi
l
lgoandcheckuponhi
m"
Me:"okandthanky
oubabomdal
a"t
heyl
eft
andIwasl
eftwit
hKamva

Me:
"wher
eisHl
engi
e?"
Kamv
a:"i
nther
ecept
ionbaby
sit
ti
ngsi
nceki
ds
ar
enotal
l
owedher
e"
Me:"Ihavenev
erseenmyhusbandsocol
d
Kamva,whatam Igoi
ngt
odo?"

Kamv
a:"y
hoooI
'
m scar
edofy
ourhusband
I
nga"
Me:
"scar
edofwhat?"
Kamv
a:"uXhant
iut
hihe.
.,
arghhnev
ermi
nd"
Me:
"whatdi
dhedoKamv
a"
Kamv
a:"not
hing"
Me:
"KAMVA!
!!
"
Kamv
a:"ok,
pleasedon'
tsayuv
engam pl
ease
"
Me:
"tal
kpl
ease"

Kamva:
"theguy
swhodr
uggedy
ougoti
tal
l
bad"
Me:
"youar
enotmaki
nganysense"
Kamva:"twooft
hem ar
einhospi
tal
incl
udi
ng
yourf
ri
end"
Me:"ohhhJehov
a,whatdi
dAy
andadot
o
t
hem ?"
Kamva: "don'tsayohhJehov
a, theydeser
ve
ever
ythi
ng, asforthatski
mmingbitchIsweari
f
IcanlaymyhandsonherIwi lll
eaveherdead"
Me:"haaaaKamva,Idon'
tknowyouas
someonewhowil
lar
oundkil
li
ngpeopl
e"
Kamv a:"ifyoumesswithmeandmyf amil
y
thenIdon'tl
i
ckyourassbutIkicky
ourassI
'm
akasichickphel
a,apetori
chick"
Me: "heeee"ImeanIknowKamv aasthe
model-Cki ndawoman, whocrashed
everyt
hingaboutmewhenIf i
rstsawher,i
ts
tr
uewhent heysayspendsometimewit
ha
personifyouwannaknowher/hi m bet
ter
.
Kamv a:"don'tgivemet hatl ookwena, t
hat
heartofyoursneedspl asti
csur gery,youcan't
bef or
evercool andconsider at
e, moeraaa
i
sifebeesiphansesaku-r apisa,butIsowi sh
angangav ukikulacommaakuy ocasi fshe
doesshewi llhatehersel
ff orgoodcas
amazinyoaphel il
elaphambi l
e, yourhusband
tookthem all"

Icl
osedmyey
es,
whatAy
andahasdone?

Me:
"andt
heguy
s?"
Kamv a: "Idon'
tknowanddon'tcar
ebutwhere
evertheywer euXhant
isai
dt hei
rfi
nger
sand
ri
bsar ebrokenandAyandatookofftwofi
nger
s
compl et
elyfrom t
heot
herguyIguessitsy
our
fr
iend'sboyfri
end"
If
eltl
i
kev
omi
ti
ng

Kamv
a:"I
nganat
hi,
canIasky
ousomet
hing?
Me:
"uhhhh-
uuuu"
Kamv
a:"i
syourhusbandagangst
er?
"

Ichokedonmysal
i
va,
Icoughednonst
op

Me:
"No!
!Kamv
ahei
snot"
Kamv a:"Damnhehasthatgangstert
endency,
heissosexywhenhedoeshisishhh,Isowish
Xhantihadthat
.Vr
aaaavr
ooom (sheshaked
herbody)"

Idon'
tknowwhatmakespeopl
egocrazyabout
dati
ngbadboy
s, i
tsnotwhatt
heyt
hinki
tis,
yesf inanci all
yandeconomi call
yy oulivelikea
queenbutemot ionall
yitsanot herst ory,some
areabusi v e,yougett obeshout edandbeat en
andsomet imesy ouhav et owat chy ourman
kill
ingpeopl e,beati
ngpeopl einfrontofy ou,
yougott obeescor tedev eryt
imeand
ev erywher eyougo.Yourcargott ohav ea
trackerwenaasahumanbei ngy ougott obe
treatedl ikeanobj ectcasy oualsogett ohav ea
trackerwi thyoucasy ourhusbandmustknow
youri nsandout scashewi l
lal
way ssayIneed
toknowf ory ourprotection.Yougett olook
ov ery ourshoul derwhendoi ngshoppi ngcas
youdon' tknowwhomi ghtbef ollowingy ouand
funnypar tyougett obescar edofpeopl ey ou
don' tev enknow, peopley ounev ermet ,you
mi ghtbeki ll
ed, youmi ghtber apedbyhi s
ener mi esj usttospitet hesocal l
edy our
husbandorboy fri
end.
Girl
sgett oberapedbyt heirgangst erpartners,
theygett obeatenandl andi ncommawi th
brokenr ibsandunconsci ousbyt heirwhatso
call
edgangst erpar t
ners,andy oujustknow
thatifyougethi m arr
estedsameni tehewi ll
be
out,eithertherewon'tbeenoughev idence
whilether ei
sort hedocketwi llgomi ssingcas
hehaswhati scal l
ed'CONTACTS' andknows
peopleinhi ghplacesHonest lydoy oucal lthat
l
ife,No! !That'
sdef i
nit
elyhell.

Heremeoutnotal l
oft hem ar
eliket
hatbuti t
s
sonotachi l
d'spl
aydat ingathugoranex-t hug
youwor k24hoursaday ,7weeks,365day s.
Trustmet heyknowhowt otakecareora
womanandt omakey oufeell
ikeyouarethe
onlywomani nthisplanetbuttheyarehandful
creat
ure.
Me: "l
et'
sdr
opt
hisKamv
a,Idon'
twannat
alk
abouti
t"
Kamv a:"i
tsok,maar
aInganathi
usemasi
mbeni
ubhutindl
elal
ebekenomsindouthi
youhave
di
srespectedhi
m"
Me:
"hewi
l
lgetov
eri
t"

Ispentanot herni t
einhospi talthenIwas
dischargedt hefollowingdayuAy andaakaze
awuv uleowakheuml omo, it
sbet t
erifhe
shout satmebutmay ethul
ey ouwi l
l neverknow.
Wedr ovehomei twasr aini
ng, ot
her swer ein
thelounge, l
aughi ngbekunomsi ndonj eI
greeted, ki
dswer eplayingwi ththeirtoys
Paddl epopwaspl ay
ingwi t
hsomeone' sfone,I
j
ustf eltsorr
yf ortheownercasIknewbezi yi
panel beaterifshewasnotdonewi thi t,as
soonasshesawusshest r
et chedherar ms,I
bentt opickherup, Ikissedhermout h
Ayanda:"leaveherI
nganat
hi.nzamhoya,
you
notfi
ttocarryher
,comelet
'sgoupstai
rsyou
needtorest"
Me:
"noI
'
mfi
neAy
anda"
Ay
anda:
"Inganat
hi,
Isai
dleav
eher!
,come"
Me: "hay i
Ay andadon'tt
ellmewhatt od...
"
Phahlaaaaaaev ery
onewentqui t
et hatwas
Ayanda'sf one,hethrewitacrosst hewallyazi
pi
ece, wezaendi zakimiIjuststoodt her
eand
cl
osedmyey esheheldmer oughlyandpinned
meagai nstthewal l
,wandibambangomqal a
wadibanisawi t
hmyl owerjawsmaki ngme
l
ookathi m"hewasshaki nghi seyeswer ered
ngathiaphumauml i
lo.

Ayanda:"wasIaskingyouortel
li
ngyou
I
nganathi,
itst
hisfuckenat
ti
tudeofyoursthat
gotyouint
oshit,t
hatalmostgotyouraped,
whoi
sthemani
nthi
shouseI
nganat
hi,
TELL
ME!!
!

Me:
"it
syouYanda"Isai
dthati
nal
owt
one
Ayanda: "asfrom today,youwil
ldancet omy
tune, waliwakukuhlekelwaweni ,
ifIhav ey ou
putat rackerinyourass, Iwil
landther eis
nothingy oucando, youdon'tl
eavethishouse
ndingazi ,nomoregett ogetherwi
thy our
fri
endssi yevana!
!!"myey eswerestil
l closed

Inodded,oobabomdalawebehi
ndus,
hel
et
goandfacethem Ist
umbledabi
t

Ayanda:"ninashi
tofft
hisi
sbetweenmeand
mywi f
eotherwisendani
qhekez'
i
mihl
athi
ngoku
,fut
sekanike,wenaupstai
rsNOW!!"hewent
upstai
rs
Kamv a:"ar
eyougoi
ngt
obeok,
scr
eam i
f
akubetha"

Me: "Iwillbefinesisidon'twor r
y,Iwasl yi
ng.I
wal kedupst ai
rsandst oodi nt hedoorAy anda
draggedmei nhecl osedthedoor, lockeditand
threwt hekeyawayngef est
ilet hat'
swhenI
knewt hatIwasnotgoi ngtoj oinAsai ncomma
andwakeupwi t houtfrontteethbutIwasgoi ng
tobeser vedforsupperasameal that
eveni ng.
..
...

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
14]Mca:
INSERT188

Yhoooaphel
aamat hemba,
itwasheavyr
aini
ng
outsi
deyesi
bingabangi
umsindot
hatmuchas
i
twouldbeinacor r
ugatedroofbutbekunet
ha
nj
eandwewer eupstai
rsngubaninj
e
bezongi
zwaev eni
fIwasscr eami
ngandt he
doorwaslocked.

Isatonthebed,
Ayandakeptpaci
ngupand
down, hewasmaki
ngmedi zzy

Me:
"Ay
andawi
l
l.
..
"
Ay
anda:
"Val
aloml
omo!
!!
"

Hekeptondoi
ngsamet
hing

Me:
"youmaki
ngmedi
zzy,
sitdow.
."
Ayanda:"Isai
dshutthef
uckupInganat
hi"he
roar
ed,Ikeptqui
tei
mmediatel
y
Ay
anda:
"whydi
dyoudoi
t"qui
te
Ay anda: "youratherspeakI nganathi
before
ndikukhuphaamat humbungoml omo"Ifeltmy
tummyt urni
ng,growlingnott hatIwas
hungr y,
butIwasscar edt odeat h,Ipi
ctur
ed
my selfinacof f
inngidlabhukeamat humbu,
nalaphongi st
ishwekhonabesengi bona,I
picturedmychi ldengazi nobakwenzekani
growingupwi t
houtamot her
,yhooooIstarted
sobbing

Ay anda: "I
'mtalki
ngtoy ouDammit!
!!"he
pickedmeupf rom thebedasifhewaspi cki
ng
apaperandmademest and"phendula
i
kundi cheekakwakhonokul i
lawon'
thelp
kuzakungombi sangam instead"

I
nlif
easapersony ouhavetwoopt i
onswhen
youareinasi
tuat
ionli
kethis,1stoneistosi
t
back,feel
sor
ryforyour
selfandletbethe
vi
cti
m ofabuse, amadodaay ili
cofaifokotho
l
omt uifhecanseet hatyoudoallowhi mt o
walkov eryou, youwi l
lbehisdoormatf orgood
andyouwi l
lgivehimt hepowert hatheowns,
hewillbeatdayl ightoutofyouandf oll
owing
dayathi hedidn'tmeant hatheissor ry,he
mustknownj eawuy ondayoyogangel a,whet
her
youwrongornothemustl i
stentoy ounot
shoutorbeaty ou.

2ndoption, istoretr
eatandf i
ghtback,not
physi
calbutbev ocal,asformeI '
m nota
tal
kati
veper son, youcanshoutasmuchasy ou
wantandIwi ll
keepqui t
ebutdon'tmakeme
feell
i
key ouownmeorI 'm apri
sonerphela
nawoaner ights.I'
m notsayingthatdi
srespect
yourhusbandbuthemustknowawuy ondayo
yochamela.
AtthatmomentIhadtostandupf
ormysel
f,I
wassonotgoingtoletAy
andatal
ktomeli
ke
ukhulumanengane
.
Me: "didn'tyousayI '
m mustkeepqui t
e?What
doy ouwantf rom meAy anda, y esIwr onged
you, yesIdi dn' tli
stent oyou, y
esy ouareangr y
, y
esy ouwer er i
ghtaboutAsaandhi s
boy f
riendy esIal mostgotr aped, Iam real l
y
sorryIknowI '
m st ubbor n,IknowIshoul dhav e
l
istenedt oy oubutt oughluckIdi dn'tsowhat
arey ougoi ngt odo, beatme, arey ougoi ngt o
shoutatmet illmyear sarenumbwel lAy anda
Khumal oy oucanmanhandl emecasy ouar e
str
ongert hanmebutdar elayy our shandson
meAy andaIsweart oGodt het eet hyout ook
outkuAsaawel aphansi lawakhouzowagwi ny
a.
Ifyout hinky oul ockedmeher et obeatmet hen
youmustbesmoki ngthewr ongweed, I'
m so
notgoi ngt obei nSAst atssabaf aziababet hwa
ngamadodaabo, Idi dn'tsignedupf ort hat
whenmar ryingy ou,mybi ologicalfat herzange
wakewandi bet haandwenazabanesi bindiNo! !I
refuseAy anda. Lookatmeandt ellmey ou
nev ermademi stakesev ersincewegotmar ri
ed
, l
ookatme! !!.Ihav eputupwi thy ourshi t,yesI
hav ebeencompl ainingbutdi dIbeaty ouupno,
yesIdogetangr ywi thy oubutIdon' tmakey ou
feel l
ikeyouar eapr isoner .Awunamahl oniy azi
yougetangr ywhenIbeaty ourchildngemi nwe
njebutuzobanesi bindi sof unungishay a
uzeungi khi y
el eendl ini,linganj eAy anda
uzombonauJesuy asindi sa.I 'my ourwi f
enot
yourdamnpl ayingdol l
,I'm notAsanei ther
Mzi masi , si
y evana! !, I'
m qui t
eawar et hatI
hav emessedupandIam goi ngtoapol ogize
andt hanky ouf orr escui ngmesogetov er
your self,youdon' townme, moveIwanna
sleepanduv ukakwam makesur el omny angou-
unlocki wet hisi smyhousenotapr isoner, zaba
l
iginsal e-est hubeni Ay andaKhumal onother e,
Mov
e!!
!"

Ipushedmywayandwentt
obed.

Ayanda:"ncncnc,y
ougett
ingol
dTaKi
l
ler,
youarer
eall
ylosi
ngy
ourt
ouch"

It
ookoffmycl
othesandworepj
s,Igotunder
bl
anket
sIhear
dhim phoni
ngMsi
ra

Ayanda: "Sure, ,
,
,,khondenzeleIfavourMsi ra,
yi
yakul aplekinespar ekeysukhuphukanespar e
keysal aphakwi mai nbedroom, ,
,
,hay isani
ayikufunileyoy enzalendiyi
tshoya,,
,,
Msi melelo
yi
z aneskhiyaandst opaskingmel ame
quest i
ons, ,
,
,,unlocknjeungav ul
isani ,,
,"he
droppedt hecal l,Iwasdrif
tingnicelyto
Lalaland, hegoti nbedandcuddl edfrom
behi
nd,hepul
ledmecl osert ohim andbrushed
myboobs,Ayandaissoobsessedwi t
hmy
boobs,t
hatmadememor edr owsy.,het
urned
mesosoftl
y,Idi
dn'tcontest, hemademe
sl
eepontopofhim.Hest artedkissingmeI
ki
ssedhi
m backitgothotterbutIhadt obreak
i
t

Me:
"hay
iAy
anda"
Ayanda: "Iknowbhabha, wewon'tmakel ov
e,
Iknowy ounotst rongenoughbutpleasedon' t
stopme, thismakesmesanecasr i
ghtnowI
feell
ikebeat ingthehelloutofyou,Iam r eal
l
y
angryaty ouI nganathiyoudisr
espectedme, I
almostlostmywi fenonotjustawifemy
everythi
ngIdon' timagineli
fewithouty ou
bhabha, youbr oughtlif
einmeI nganathidon't
takethatawayf rom me.Thosebast ardare
heart
lessj ustli
stentomeoncei nyourlif
e
that
'sallI'
m aski ng.
Me:
"I'
m sor
ryYandaf
ornotl
i
steni
ngt
oyou"
Ayanda: "whatwasIgoi ngtosaykobaba
I
nganat hi,Iknowfrom dayoneIwaspartof
yourlif
eIwasput ti
ngyoui ndangerbutl
etme
protectyou,howwasIgoi ngtoli
veknowing
thatyouwer erapedngenxay am t
ellme"
Me: "I'
mr eall
ysor
ryhonest
lyIam ,anyway
howdi dyouknowIwasi nSeapointcasI
wasn'tdri
vingmycar"
Ayanda:
"don'
tst
ressaboutthat,
butal
way
s
knowwhereev
eryougoIwill
know" .
Me:
"mf
xmm"Isul
ked

Ayanda:"promi
semeI
ngat
haty
ouwon'
tbe
thi
scarel
ess"
Me:
"Ipr
omi
sebhabha"

Wecuddl
edt
osl
eepandwokeupaf
ter5pm I
di
dn'
tbothergoi
ngdownst
air
s,Ay
andabr
ought
mesupper

WeekspassedbyooXhant iandHl engieleft.

OneSundayonourwayf r
om chur chIasked
Ayandat oaccompanymet oChrisBar nard
Memor ialhospit
altoseeAsay hooako
engazangeangi gwinyebutfinall
yheagr eed,
shewasoutofcommashamewi thnot eethmy
heartwentf orher
.Itriedtomakel oncokwana
butshewasasner vousashel lIdon'tblameher
Ayandabemj amelengathihewasgoi ngto
swallowher.Shewasgoi ngtobedi schar ged
fol
lowingdaysowel eft.

2weeksl ater,all
waswellwewer efineno
Yanda,Iwasdr ivi
ngmysel
ftowor ku-husby
besengi
trusta,itwasonaFr i
dayafter4:30,i
t
wasknockof ft
imeIcoll
ectedmyt hingsandI
wenttot
heparkinglotanddrov
et o
Loev
enst
ein.Ibuzzedatthegate.

v
oice:
"whoi
sthi
s?"
Me:
"it
sInganat
hi"
Voi
ce:Exhal
ed"comei
n"

Fewsecondst
hegateopened,Igotinand
mademywayt ot
hefrontdoor,par
tofmewas
scar
edtodeat
hbutIwasal r
eadythere..
.

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
14]Mca:
INSERT189

YesIknowwhaty oumightbet hinking,ukuphi

I
nga,areyoucrazyInga,youar edisrespectf
ul
I
nga,ufun'
ukuf
aI nga,awulay
eki Inga, Yanda
meleakufakeimpamamhlampeuzobari
te.Yes
youthoughtri
teIwasatAsa'
sapar
tment.

AsmuchasIknewshewasbehi ndkwiI
ncident
yami butIknewther
ewasst i
l
lahumanbehi nd
thatdevil
i
shheartofhers.Iwantedhert
ot ell
mewhydi dshedoit.Iwantedtoknowther eal
Asavelanottheoneasephendukewanguy e.
Sheopenedf ormeIgoti n

Me:
"hi
"
Asa:
"hi
Inganat
hihowar
eyou"
Me:"goodandy
ou"atl
eastshehadf
alse
t
eet
h
Asa:"gr
eat,
whatbr
ingsy
ouher
e,i
tsnotsaf
e
fory
outobeher
e"
Me:
"Iknow"
Asa:
"any
thi
ngt
odr
ink"
Me:
"I'
mfi
nesi
sit
hanky
ou"

Shel
ookeddown

Me: "I'
m notheret
ofightAsa,allIwantto
knowiswhydi dyoutakemet othatplace
knowingexactl
ywhatwasgoi ngtohappen"
Asa:
"noIwasn'
tawar
eInganat
hi"

Il
ookedst
rai
ghti
ntoherey
es

Asa:
"IswearI
nganat
hi"
Me:"youcanfool
someonenotmeAsa,
why
di
dyoudoit?"
Asa:
"youhav
etobel
i
evemeI
nganat
hi"
Me: "Asadon'tyoufuckeni
nsultmy
i
ntell
i
gence,youknowwhati sgoingonaround
thi
shouse,youknowexact l
ywhaty our
husbanddoesf orl
i
vingangi
thi?"

Shel
ookeddownandpl
ayedwi
thherhands

Me:"It
rust
edyouAsa,Ireal
l
ytr
ust
edyouy
azi
,
di
dyouthi
nkofmychi
ld?,
whatki
ndofa
womanareyou?"
Asa:
"I'
m sor
ryI
nganat
hi"

Me: "sorryf
orwhat,sor
rybecauseyou
couldn'
taccompli
shthemissionyouhopedt
o
accomplishwit
hyourboyf
riend"
Asa:
"Idi
dn'
thav
eachoi
ceI
nganat
hi"
Me:
"weal
lhav
eachoi
ce,
Asa"
Asa: "Ididn't,
Idon'tandIwil
l neverhav
e"she
yell
edatme, Il
ookedstrai
ghtintohereyes,
theyweref i
l
ledwithpain,r
egretandabov eal
l
withhurtandmi ser
y.Ihadtocal m down.
Me:
"tal
ktomeAsa"
Asa:"y
oushouldtakeyourl
eav
enowInganat
hi
myboyfr
iendwi
l
l beheari
nanyt
ime"

Me: "don'
twor
ryaboutme,
I'
mjustwor
ri
ed
aboutyou"

Shest
oodupwi
thouttal
ki
ngandtookmyhand
,shel
edmeout
sidetothepat
io.

Asa:"whatevert
hatI
'
m goi
ngt
otel
lyoumust
st
aybetweenus"
Me:
"I'
mli
steni
ng,
whysi
zaaphai
tscol
d"
Asa:"thi
sisconfi
dent
ial
l
yandt
hishousei
s..
Let
'sj
ustsay..
."
Me:
"Iknow"

Asa: "fi
rstl
yInganathi,f
rom thebot t
om ofmy
heartI'
m sosor r
y,Ididn'
tmeant odowhatIdid
,youar eonesweet estpersonIev ercome
acrosswi t
handy oudidn'tdeservewhatIdidt
o
youbutt r
ustmewhenIsayIdi dn'
thav ea
choice"
Me:
"whydi
dyoudoi
tAsa?
"
Asa:
"it
sthel
i
feI
'
mli
vi
ngI
nganat
hi"

Shest
artedcry
ing,Iwentt
ohugher,that
'
s
howstupidIam nomatt
erhowmuchy ouhurt
mebutwhenIseey oucryi
ngIdofor
getabout
whaty
oudi dandcrywit
hyou,thi
siswhat
happenedwhenIwaswit
hAsa, Icr
iedwithher,
don'taskmewhyIwascryi
ngbutseeingher
cry
ingr eal
l
ybr
okemyheart
.

Asa:"I
'
m ok,l
etmetel
lyout
hest
oryofmyl
i
fe
"shewi
pedhert
ear
s
Me:"youdon'
thav
etosweet
y,Ihav
efor
giv
en
you"
Asa: "noyouneedt
oknow,Ihaven'
ttol
d
anyoneaboutthi
snotev
enmysister
s"Iwent
backtomychai r
.

Asa:"yazi
InganathiImi
ghtlookhappybut
deepdownI'm scr
eamingmyl ungsout.My
homeisinMakaza, Khayel
i
sha, Idoubtyou
knowit"
Me:Ishookmyhead"Ionl
yknowt
hegr
oov
a
par
kinKhay
eli
sha"
Asa: "Iwasst ayingwi thmyt wosi st
ersandmy
parent s.I'mt helastbor nathome.Wewer e
strugglingI nganat hireall
ystruggli
ng,wewer e
stayingi na3r oom shack, mymot herwasand
sti
llisadomest i
cwor kerandmyf atherdidn'
t
hav east ablejob, hewoul ddopiecejobshere
andt her e,atgr ade9, Imeett hi
sguySongezo,
hewasi ngr ade11, wewentt othesamehi gh
school ,agent leman, softheart
edhel ovedme
withev eryt
hingI nganat hi
.

WhenIf i
rstdat
edhi m al
lmyf r
iendswishedme
l
ucksincehewast hewantedone, ever
ygir
l
wouldlovetobecal l
edhisgir
lf
riendmyseni or
s
wouldgivemef unnylooks.Hewasr eall
y
handsomeachar merandapl ay eri
nawaybut
wit
hmehewor shipedmeI nganathi.

Si
nceIwasf
rom t
hispoorf
ami
l
ysoSongezo
wouldshar ehi slunchboxwi t
hmeorhi smoney .
Iwassol uckytohav ehim, helovedhi sbooks
whichhewasal waysonmycaset ostudy .The
wayhel ov edme, Ist
il
lrememberf ol
lowing
yearIdidn'thav eschoolshoes.OneSat udayhe
askedmet oaccompanyhi mt oPromi nademal l
,Ididthat, het ookmet oAcker mans, he
boughtmeapai rofschoolshoes, socksand2
shir
tscasmi neshadl osti
tscolour, t
heywer e
usedbymyol dersist
ersIaskedhi m wher edid
hegetthemoneyhesai di
tshismoneyhewas
savi
ngf rom hispocketmoney .
Heev engavemehissamsungE250hewasnot
usi
ng, hedidn'
twantanythi
ngt ohurtme.He
wasmyPr incechar
mingI nganathi
.Hisf amil
y
gottoknowmesomet imesIwi l
lvi
sitthem
duri
ngthedayandhewoul dtakemeback
homengemot okamamaakhemay ekhonaor
walkmebackhomesi nceitwasn'tfarfr
om
home.Hewasknownnasekhay a,mysi ster
s
l
ovedhim hewassodownt oeart
hmay efi
ka
ekhayahewouldeatwhatwewereeatingand
tocomparehi
scomewi thmineIwil
lratemine
tohisas0,
00001outof100%.

Heappl i
edatUCTandwi thoutadoubt
bezothathwahewasanov er
allachiev
erin
grade12.Ar oundJulyitwasafterschool ,
Iwas
walkinghomewhent hisJeepst oppedandt hi
s
guyof f
eredmeal i
fthomeatf i
rstIrefusedbut
hebeggedme.Igoti nletmesay, hegotoutof
thecar, openedthedoorforme, Igotinandhe
wentt ohisside,wechat t
edonourwayhome
askingmynamebl ablabla..

Hewasol d, Iguessedhewas12y earsolder

thanmebutwasgoodl ooki
nganddressedin
suit
s.Iaskedhimt odropmei nthecorner
beforesi
velaekhaya.Heaskedformynumber,
Ihesit
atedatf
irstbutgav
einatl
ast.Igothome
,Icouldn'
tbel
ieveIwasridi
ngaJeep"she
smiled

"Yesaj eep, Itookof fmyclothesfewmi nutes

l
aterIrecei vedansmsi twasoneoft hose
vodacom smses' youraccounthasbeen
rechargedwi t
hR110ai r
ti
me' Iwassoconf used
casIdi dn'tbuyai r
ti
me.Ismi l
edIwasaboutt o
foneSongezo( Ical
ledhim Zozomostofhi s
fri
endsandhi sf amilymember scal
ledhim
Zoz o)whenmyf onef l
ashedunknowncal l
er
number, Ianswer ed"hellow"asweetbol d
voiceresponded"pumpki n"
"Whoisthi
s"Iasked"yourdaddy,Mzit
heone
youj
ustmetfewminut
esago, Idi
dn'
ttel
lyou
mynameI'm Mzi
masi,myfri
endscallmeMzi "

"ohhbhut
i,howcanIhel
pyou"Isai
d,t
hat
char
mingvoi
cer
esponded"nopumpkinIjust
wantedt
oheart
hissweetandangel
i
cv oi
ceof
your
s"Ismil
edI
nganathibl
ushi
ngatthesame
ti
me"ohh"
"didyougettheai
rt
ime"mymoodchanged"
yes"Isai
dthati
nalowvoi
ce"
butyoudon'
t
soundhappy"
"noI'
m grat
eful
butnextti
meIwouldr eal
ly
appr
eciat
eifyoufi
rstaskme, myparentswon'
t
bepl
easedthatIaccepthandout
sfr
om peopleI
don'
tknow"

Het heapologizedwespokeforabout20
mi nut
esaboutany thi
ngandeverything,he
askedifwecanmeetupagai n.Idoubt edat
fir
stbuty ouknowt hosesmoothtalkers
Inganathiyoumar r
iedtoone,thatwast he
beginningofmyl i
feMzi woul
dcallnowand
againandast imegoesbyIcoul dn'
twai tt
o
r
ecei
vehi
scal
l
s.

OneThur sdayhephonedmeandsai dhe

want edt otakemeouti nf acttospendt he
whol eweekendwi thme.Ihadt ol i
et omy
parentsandsayIwasv isiti
ngmycousi nandI
fonedhert ocoverf ormei ncasemypar ents
fone, theyagreedIt ookat axi t
oSi t
eC, Mzi
wasgoi ngtopickmeupf rom there.5mi nutes
l
aterabl ackAudi A4pul ledov ernextt ome,
thewi ndowr oll
eddown, Ididn'tbothert olook
casIwaswai t
ingf orMzi "pumpki ngeti n"I
wasconf usedIwasexpect ingaj eep, Igotin
het ookmyweekenderbagandputi tinthe
backseat .Hekissedmycheekandi nstructed
met oputaseatbel ton"wher edoy ouf eellike
going"bendi zothisiy ephi I
ngaIonl yknew
Makhazacent reandPr omi nade."Idon' tknow"
Iresponded"Wat er fronti tisthenbutnextt ime
youar egoi ngtochoose"
Indeedwedr ovet oWat erfrontt hatwasmyf irst
timebeent herehewashol dingmyhand, Ifelt
sosmal lbutexci tedt oo.Wemadeourwayt o
Sevr uga,Idi dn'tknowt henbuti tsMzi favour ate
placewewer eshownourt abl e, t
abl efort woI
wassoner voust hepeopl ewhower et here
wer estinki ngrichandInev erusedf orkand
knife.Thewai t
ercameandIdi dn'tknowwhat
toor der, Iguesshesawhowner vousIwas"
pumpki nr el axhoney, mf ethuoneWi ndhoek
andoneor angej ui cef ormypumpki nf orso
l
ong"Iwasst il
ldebat i
ngt omysel fwhenMzi
call
edmyname"honeyuzo-or deri ntoni"I
didn'tknowbutIsawsomet hingebenest eak, I
thankedooDl ami ni ,Iorder ed600gofst eak
withv eggi esandheor deredmast ersushi "we
ateandl eft, hedr ov eher e, asy oucanseet he
housewasbr eatht aking, Iusedt oseesuch
housesi nTvbutt her eIwasi nt hisbigbeaut iful
houseatfirstIt
houghtmaybeit
sfourfamil
ies
thatar
est ayi
nghere.Iwast
reat
edli
keaqueen
andIfeltl
ikeone.Hegavemeat ourtothe
house,Itookashowerandheshowedmet he
cosmeticscabinet
.

Wedi dn'
tdoany thi
ngt houghandfollowi
ngday
hetookmef orshoppingandboughtmeanew
fone.Sundayhet ookmehome, Il
eftsome
clot
hesher ebecauseIdi dn'
twantmyf amil
yto
besuspicious,Iwouldv i
sitnowandagain.

Foll
owingy earSongezowasaccept edatUCT
hewasdoi ngBi oChemi st
ryt
hat'
swhenI
decidedtobr eakupwi t
hhim,hewoul dfone
sendmecount lesssmsesdeclar
inghis
unconditi
onal l
oveforme.Icoldl
ytoldhi
mI
don'tneedhim andi faf
unahecancomeand
takehismoneyhespentonme.Mzi had
openedabankaccountf
ormeandhewoul
d
gi
vemepileofcash.

Irr
espect iv
eofhowar rogant, selfish,
ungrateful Iwast oSongez ohedi dn'tgiveupon
us.OneSatIwasi nSeapoi ntbeachi t
happenedt hathewast heret oowi thhisfriends
soIbumpedi ntohim.Hewasst illaskingme
whodi dIcomewi th,Idon'tbl amehi mf or
askingheknewmebet tertobei nSeapoi ntby
my self
.Mzi cameandaskedwhowasheand
Songezobol dlysai
dhewasmyboy fri
end.Itold
him straighti nhiseyesi nfr
ontofhi sfri
ends
thathewasnotmyboy fr
iendandt hatIdon' t
l
ikecl i
ngypeopl e,Iwentonaski ng, "isit
moneyt haty ouwant, yourpar entscan' tafford
youany mor e,Idon'tblamet hem any wayUCTi s
expensi ve"t hehur ti
nhi sey eswas
unex pl
ainabl eher espondedbysay i
nghe
doesn'twantmymoney .Itoldhi m whatev erwe
hadit
soverIhaveamanar ealman.Isti
ll
rememberhowhecr i
edI nganathi,howpeople
l
ookedathim,howIdi dn'tcareandwhatIdid
andsaidt
ohim wil
lhauntmef ortherestofmy
uglyl
i
fe"

Me:
"whatdi
dyousayAsa"
Asa:
"doy
our
eal
l
ywannaknow?"

Inodded

Asa:"Isai
dhemustmanupwhowantst
odat
e
aweakandpathet
icmanwhocr
iesov
er
not
hing"
Me:
"whydi
dyousayt
hat"
Asa:"t
hewholeworldwasinmyhands
I
nganat
hi,
justi
maginefrom t
hegut
tert
oa
Mansi
onwhowouldn'tdothat"
Me:
"meandsomepeopl
e"

Asa: "welefthi mt her

eandcont i
nuedwi t
h
whatwewer edoi ng.Whati lovedngoMzi he
didn'tpressurizeaboutsex, Iwashi strophy.I
feltsoi mportantt hesoundofwhawww, Damn
whenhei ntroducedmet ohi
sfriendsmademe
feellikeIwast heonlywomani nt hisplanetand
hemademehi sonlywoman.Hewoul dpickme
upt oandf rom school someti
mes, whoget sto
driveallthewayf rom Loevenst
ei nto
Khay eli
shat opi ckupsomeonet oandf rom
school ,whichi snotev enakil
omet erawayf rom
home"

Ishr
uggedmyshoul
der
s.

Asa:"af
terJuneexam heaskedmetomovein
wit
hhim butIknewmyparentswer
enotgoi
ng
toallowt hat,Iwast helastbor nnotev enmy
oldersistersthoughtofi nhabi
tati
onandher eI
wast hel astbornintendingtomov ei nwi tha
manwhi chwaspr obably12y earsoldert han
me.It oldmypar ent
st heywer esof ur
ioust hey
madei tapoi ntthatwasnotgoi ngtohappen,
asifIdi dcarewhol istenstopeopl eabenza
l
esst hatR5000amont hsekudibenet heir
salari
eswhi lemnat hatR5000wasf ormy2pai r
ofshoes.Icol dlytol
dt hem thatIwasn' tasking
fortheirpermissionIwast el
li
ngthem , they
wer esosur pri
sed.

ImeanIwasknownf orbei
ngthedownt oear
th
chil
dwhor espectspeoplemoreespecial
ly
el
der sonomoy aophansi butt
hereIwas,
disrespecti
ngmypar ent
s,mymot herand
si
st ersstart
edcryingandmyf at
herstoodup
andwal kedt ohisroom ormustIsaytohis
2inchbedr oom beforehecoul
dreacht ohi
s
bedroom het urnedandsay"ubaAsav el
auke
waphumakul omzi wakwaDl amini waziyouare
deadt ome"Il ookedathimf r
om bot t
om totop
,hisshoesbezingat hi
zagqibelwa2000
upoliswa.Mymot herandsisterswer estil
l
cryi
ngt heywerei r
ri
tati
ngme.It ookmyf one
andf onedMzi "honey,tel
lmet hegoodnews" .
"Youcancomeandpi ckmeupsweethear t,I
can'tstandthesepeople,thear emaki ngme
sick"

Aft
ersometimehesentmeansmssay i
nghe
wasoutsi
de,Istoodup."I'
mleavi
ng"Isai
d."
Andyourcl
othes"mysisterasked
Irespondedboldl
y"Idon'tneedthem ,youcan
throwthem away"Iheardmymom say ing"
hambaj ubabokuxhuthaphambili,
wemi ghtbe
nothingtodaybutubukhazi
khazi
obukukhohlisi
l
eyowangasibonibuzaphela
ntombam"Isl ammedt hedoorandleftIdidn'
t
gi
veafuckIj
ustwantedtobeoutoft
hatfil
thy
pl
acet
heycallahouseandmyhome. .
..
..
.

TOBECONTI
NUED.
.

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
14]Mca:
INSERT190

Asa: "
Afteramont hMzi wasst i
lldroppingand
pickingmeupf rom school everygal i
nmy
school wishedt obeev er
yboyhat edmet hey
coul dseeIwaswayoutoft hei
rleagueev en
teachersst ar
tedtobej ealousIdi dn'
tgivea
damn.It hi nkIwascal l
edby3t o4t eachers
tell
ingmet hatitsinappropriateforabr i
ghtand
beaut i
fullearnerli
kemet obehav ei namannerI
wasmost lyki ssi
ngwi t
hamani nfrontofthe
school gat ebutIplainl
yt oldthem tomi ndt hei
r
ownbusinesses.Iwasbecomingmore
di
srespectful
dai
ly,t
hat'swhatmoneydoest
o
someoneongay i
qhelangahencet
herei
sasay
ethi
'isi
tyebamvasinqol'
int
aba'
.

Wehav en'tmadelov enoMzi asIsaidhedi dn'

t
pressur i
zeme.OneFr i
dayIhadanaf t
ernoon
cl
asssoIsmsedhi mtell
inghimt opickmeup
at4i nsteadof2pm.Soaf tertheclassIst ayed
behindwi t
honeguywhowasgoodi nMat hs,
hewasexpl aini
ngsomet hingIdidn't
under standkwi Fi
nancialMaths.Af t
erwewer e
donewewal kedtothegat emostoft he
l
earner swer egonesowewer etal
kingand
l
aughi ng, hewascar ryi
ngmybackbag.Mzi
wasal r
eadyinthegat e,Isaidgoodby esto
Ludweandgoti nthecar.

Wedr
ovei
nsi
l
enceandwhenwegothomeMzi
toldmehewasgoi ngsomewher ehewi llbe
backsoon.Idi dn'
thav eapr oblem andIdi dmy
school work,hecameaf ter8pm , weat et he
takeaway sheboughtandwentt othebedr oom.
ItookashowerwhenIwasaboutt ogeti nto
bed"nosof astyoungl ady, uqaleniniuf eba
Asav ela"whatarey outalki
ngabout "Iasked"
youl i
edandsayy ouhadanaf ternooncl ass
kantiallal
ongushi yekenenkwenkwe"Iwas
aboutt osayreall
ywehadanaf t
ernooncl ass
whenhesl appedmeacr ossmyf ace.I
screamedonceandheshout ed"shutupbi tch!
,
Itrustedyou, Iwasaf oolIguess, Ithoughty ou
wer ediff
erentbutwhatdi dIexpectf rom abi t
ch
l
ikey ou"

"Ididn'
t,bel
i
vemeMz. ."Theotherone
foll
owedInosebled, di
dhecare, hest
art
ed
punchingandki
ckingmecal l
ingmewi t
hall
slut
tynamesunti
l Icoul
dn'tf
eelmydody"she
wascry
ingandIhadjoinedhert
oo,
Iwas
aski
ngmyselfwhatki
ndofamanwasMzi v
ele.

Asa:"thatwasnotenoughInga"Iclosedmy
eyesandlookedup,Iwasn'
treadyt
ohearwhat
shewasaboutt ot
ellme.

Asa: "hetookhi sclot hesoffandst oodnaked.'

Suckt hi
sbi t
ch'hesai dpoi nti
nghisdick, atfi
rst
Ithoughthewasj okingInev ersuckedany one'
s
dickbefore, Il
ookedathi m withoneey ecas
theotheronewascl osed' NOW! '
Heshout ed, I
start
edsucki ngitndingakwazi ndinj
alotear s
didn'
tstop, Iwantedmypar entstocomeand
rescueme, Isuckedhi m unti
lhewasar oused.'
Inthebed' hesaidpoi ntingthebedImov ed
slowlyheroughl ygrabbedmyhai rwandi phosa
ebhedini.Iwasshaki ngandcr yi
ng
uncont r
oll
able,Inev erimagi nedmyf irsttime
tobet hi
spai nfulandsohur ting."Openup
bitch"IdidbutIr eallydidn'twantt osoIst ood
upt ryi
ngt or unbuthehel dmewandi di
banisa
nebonda, myheadf el tsoheav yhepushedme
tot hebedagai n.Hef orcedhi msel fonmeIwas
cryinghecl osedmymout hwi thhi shand.He
forcedhi m selfsomanyt imes' damnbi tchy ou
aresot i
te, Icanl i
vewi ththisdai l
y' Iwantedt o
bitehishand, hisdi ckndi yiqhawul e
ngamazi ny o.Istoppedcr yi
ngnokhabal azi ,
whatwast hepoi nt"goodgi rl,rel
axpumpki n,
I'
m notpuni shingy ouI 'm prepar i
ngy outobea
woman, mywomanj ustenjoyt his"hehumped
, humpedandbangedmeunt ilIfeltmylegsso
weakandshaky .Ithoughthewasdonenot
knowi ngt hewor stwasy ett ocomehemade
mest andupandbendmeont hebedhe
penet rat
edf r
om t hebackhebangedmel ike
therewasnot omor r
ow.
Idoubt edIwasgoi ngt obeabl et owal kagain
andmyt inybuttsbezi buhlunguf rom bei ng
spanked, aft
eradecadehemov edf asterand
faster"openuppumpki n"hesai daf tersome
timehepul l
edout .Hemademef acehi m'
Khami sa' hesai dwhichIdi dheputhi sdickin
mymout handt hebast ardcamei nmymout h
untilhewasf i
nished.' Gwi nya'Iwasdi sgusted
witht hef actthathecamei nmymout hhow
muchmor ekwakumel endi gwinye.Idi d,again
whatchoi cedi dIhav e' goodgi r
l 'Irushedt o
thebat hroom andpuked.' Youwi llgetusedt o
thisdon' twor r
y"t hisishowIl ostmyv irgi
nit
y
Inganat hi andafterthatni ghtIwasr apeddai l
y
bywhatsocal ledmyPr i
ncechar mi ng, he
conf i
scat edmyf oneIwasn' tincont actwith
any one.

Mondaymor
ning,
Iwokeupmywhol
ebody
wasst ill
soreandmyey ewasopeni ngupnot
full
ythough.Iwokeupt otakeashowerhet old
mehewasgoi ngt olookforabet terschoolfor
mef ollowingyear.Myhear tsank, IknowIwas
goodatschool andIdi dn'
twannadr opoutbutI
didn'
thav eachoi ce.Iwasi nhell
,af t
eramont h
orsoIst artedfeeli
ngnauseahet ookmet o
hospitalandIwaspr egnant,youknowwhathe
said"y ouar egoi
ngt ogetr i
doft hatthi
ng"
beforeIcoul dfi
nishmysent ence, "noMziIc..
"
Hesl appedme.I ndeedhemademeabor tt
he
pregnancy .

Yhooomi naIcri
eduncontrol
l
ablenje,Igott
o
thi
nktheroadIhavetravel
l
edt ohavePaddle
popkubekunabantuli
keMzi ablessi
webut
babenesi
bindit
oorderthei
rgal f
ri
endstodo
abort
ion.
Onedayhebr ought2gir
ls, Iwassleepi
ng
al
readyhewokemeupandguesswhathedi d
hemademewat chhimf uckingthem ,myheart
wasinpiecesthatwasthemi nor,
hemademe
swall
owhi scum whi
leebenga- havenam ,Idi
d
besengiusedanyway.Iwasnotal l
owedt ogo
outalone.

Followi
ngy earIaskedhim aboutschool hesaid
what '
sthepointofgoingt oschool ,I'
m
damagedgoods, whowoul dn'
twast ehis
moneybyt aki
ngawhor et oschool .That'
showI
dropoutatschool.Itwast i
mel i
ket hosewhenI
missedhome, mypar ents,yeswewer epoor,
l
ivinginashackbuti twaswar m andIwas
respectedandloved.Itwast i
mel ikethose
whenImi ssedSongezo, hedidn'thav ethe
fl
ashylifebutherespectedme, hel ovedmef or
whoIwas.
Asa: "Onedayhebr ought2guyst heonesy ou
sawt hatday, hey el
ledformynamesi nceI
wasupst airs,Icamedownt oseet hesebi g
guys"honey ,theseguysar emybusi ness
partnerstheyar ehereforyou"Ilookedpuzzl ed
"don'tbescar edgoandchanget osexycl othes
andputonsomemakeup"Idi dasi nstr
ucted
Inganathiandwentbackdownst airs"satisfi
ed
them honey "

Me: "NoAsa,
don'
ttel
lmehe.
."Shenodded,
I
cl
osedmyeyeswit
hmyhands"

Asa: "Il
ookedathim, t
earsroll
eddownmy
face,howcouldhesel lmel i
kethat,'
wipe
thosetearsyouarerui
ningthatmakeupandi ts
unattr
acti
ve,Ican'
twor kforyouf ort
herestof
myl i
fe,youmustcont r
ibuteandsinceyou
don'thaveschool,andyouar enotworki
ngwe
willusey ourass"hel aughed.Hel eftmet her e
andIhadt obearwi th2menexchangi ng,
sati
sf yi
ngt hemsel ves, moani ngand
worshi pi
ngmysmal l
hol e.That'swhenIgott o
real
izet hatMzi wasnot hingbutacol d
heartlessbast ard, whent heywer edoneI
rushedupst air
s, Icleanedmy selfandcr i
ed
unti
l IfeltbetterbutIf el tsocheapanddi rty
.My
vjwasbur ning.Lat erMzi camei nhedi dn'teven
askhowIwasf eel i
ng, Iguesshi sguest swer e
goneal ready ."Ilov eyourassandI '
m goingt o
l
ov eitmor e,inanhourandhal fitmademet his
much"het hrewanenv elopont hebedwi t
ha
pil
eofcash.Heki ssedmycheek."Goandt ake
ashowery ousmel lumbi l
o, Iwentt ot akea
shower, Iwassodi sgust ed

"Thoseguy
swant edtobuyyouforafor
tune,
canyoubel
ievei
t,theywerenotgoi
ngtomake
youoneofthei
rworkersbuty
ouweregoingto
betheir
sonly"hesaidcal
mlyandl aughi
ngasif
nothi
nghashappened"whydi dn'
ty ousel
lme
i
tsbettert
hanbeinghere"Ir
esponded, he
l
aughed"Ipreferyoutobeheretheyaregoing
tokil
lyouaft
eryouarenouset othem"

"Whatdoy oumean"Iwasconf used"they

don'
twantsi ckprostit
utes"Ilookedathim "I
'm
notaprostitut
eandcer tai
nlynotsick"he
l
aughed"i fnotapr osti
tut
ewhatar eyou?"He
cametomeandbr ushedmycheek"y eshoney,
younotsicky etbuteventuall
yyouwi l
lIhaveZ3
(HIV)sothat '
smaket hetwoofus. .
..
..

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
16]Mca:
INSERT191

Lor
dIf
eltmychestget
ti
ngt
ighti
nst
ant,
Itook
adeepbr
eat
h.

Asa:"I
nganat
hiIt
houghtthewor l
dwas
comi
ngtoanend,Ithoughtitwastheendof
myli
featt
hesamet i
meIt houghthewasjoki
ng.

"Youar ejoki
ngmoss, whendi dy ouknow
abouty ourstatus"hedi dn'tevenl ookedatme"
4y earsbackbutr el
axandikabikhokwezi kaka,
yi
ni amagamazoanddon' twor ryIwi l
lbuy
medi cationforyouwon' tgoandqueuei n
cli
nicsf oryourtreat
ment "Ididn'thaveener gy
tocryI nganathinortotalk,Igotunderbl ankets
ashotasi twasout sidebutIsuddenl yfeltcol
d.

Asa:"hewouldtakemetohisclub,t
heonewe
wenttoandmademesl eepwit
hdiff
erentmen
i
nexchangeformoney
Ihad4abor ti
onszakheinar owI nganathi
andI
guessIwasol dforhim cashegothol dof
anot herschoolgir
landsol dherast i
megoes
onIwasbecomi ngheartl
esst hewor dl
ove
didn'texisti
nmyv ocabulary
.Iluredgir
lsfor
hi
mt heywi l
lbedruggedandt her estwas
hi
st ory.

Mzi spott
edyouthatdaywewereinSomer set.
Hewi ll
stopatnothi
ngtoseeAyandasuffers,I
askedhim whybuthesaidtheyhaveunf
inished
business.

Ther
ewasadaywemeetAy andainoneofSea
poi
nt'sclubs,hesuspectedthatt
hingswere
notwellbetweent
het woofy ou,t
hat'
swhyhe
wantedZamekahi scousinsi
stert
osl eepwit
h
hi
m.Shei sHIVpositi
vetoo,heinfectedher,
doy ouseehowsi ckhei s?Yeshesl eptwi th
hercousi nsister.Tr ustmeMzi wil
l stopat
not hingt omakesur et hatev erybodyget
i
nf ect ed.Hesay shewi llneverdi eal oneandhe
hat esAy andawi thpassi on, hewi lldoany thi
ngI
meanany t
hingtoseehi m hur teveni fhehast o
usei nnocentpeopl e,butIr especty ourhusband
hei sonet oughsoul .Mzi wassosur et hat
followi ngdayhewasgoi ngtocounthi mi nhis
victims.Thel ookhehadwhenZamekasai dhe
refusedt ogetoutoft hecart hattheydi dn'
t
ev enki ss, howangr yhewaswhenher eali
sed
hesl eptemot weni kaZamekai nhery ard.She
wasbeat endayl ightoutofhersoul ,hewas
say ingshewasusel ess, thesmsest hecal l
s
wasal lpartofthepl anzi kaMzi "

Iexhal
ed
Me:"soy
ouwer esentbyMzit
obecl
osert
o
meandpr
etendasifyouli
keme"

Shel
ookeddown

Me:
"heyphendul
aAsa!
!"
Asa:"yesI'
m sor
rythatdayy
aseSeapointy
ou
weregoingt
obet r
anspor
tedt
oJoburgand
Godknowsfrom Jobur
gtowhere"

Ifel
tlikevomi
ti
ngthewordt
ranspor
tedmade
mesi ckli
keIwasgoingt
obesomeone's
goods

Asa:
"I'
m sor
ryI
nganat
hi"
Me:
"noi
tsok,
wenahowar
eyoucopi
ng?
"
Asa:
"I'
m okwet
humnaI
ngaI
'
m abi
ggal
now
i
tsnotl
i
key
ear
sbef
ore,
Ihav
eaccept
ed,
that
'
s
myli
fe"
Me:
"andy
ourf
ami
l
y"
Asa: "hav en'
tcont actedt hem sinceIl eft
home,itsbet t
erthisway ,Ihavedi sappointed
them IngaandMzi iscr uelandhear tl
essi fIcan
gobackhomeangay ondikhuphangeshov aand
angar ape-rnesisterzam , soitsbet terstaying
herethancausi ngunnecessar ypai nt omy
famil
y, hedoesn' trespectmypar ents, Idon't
blamehi mt houghIdi dn'tshowr espectkubo
mnakuqal a,Ilookeddownont hem whyngi zo
expectay enaabahl oni phe"

Me:
"justbest
rongsi
si"
Asa:"Iam ,Iknownowt hatI'
mjustatrophy
gi
rl
fr
iendkaMzi ,
itsmybeaut yebangelandi
be
ndi
selaphaandt hefactthatndimngenisel
a
i
malikuphel
aot hert hanthatayi
khoint
o
asandi
gci
nel
eyona.Ihat
ehi
m wi
thpassi
on"
Me: "whydon'
tyoumoveout,l
ookf oran
af
fordabl
efl
at,f
indaj
obasawai tr
essora
cl
eanerfort
heti
mebeinganyt
hing"
Asa: "noI
nga,I
'm usedtothi
sli
feandInev
er
workedbefor
e,Idon'thav
eevengrade11"
Me: "sorat
herbetreatedli
keatrashuhlal
e
nomuntuomaziyohei susingy
ou, endawena
oyazi
yoyouar ebei
ngabusedkuy o, j
ustf
or
materi
alt
hingsortolive't
hee'
li
fe"
Asa: "ift
hat'
swhati ttakesyes,
itsbett
erthat
way ,
Idon'tseemy selftaki
ngataxi,buyi
ngMr
pri
cecl ot
heseati
ngi sduduforbreakf
astand
doingmyhai rornail
si noneofthose
container
sinthetownshi p"
Me: "ohhIsee,I
'm notj
udgingyouAsabutI
wil
lbefrankwit
hy ou,Mziisnot
hingcompared
toyou,youaretheheart
lessoneAsa.I'
m not
sayi
ngitsnicewhatMzididtoyou,Iwoul
dn't
wisht ohappenev ent omyener my, youwer e
youngandy oudi dn' tknowhewast hatr uthless
butlur i
nginnocentgi rls,doest hatmakesy oua
goodper son.Imeant hemi nut ey ouopeny our
mout hconv i
nci ngt hem , youknowexact l
ywhat
will
happent ot hem , youknowt heymi ghtget
i
nfect ed, youknowt heywi l
lber aped, y ou
knowt heywi llbet urnedi ntosexwor ker sand
youknowdamnwel ltheymi ghtnotseet heir
familiesagai n.Howdoy ousl eepatni ght, do
yout hinkizinyembezi zabazal i baboezi za
emv akwakhot heywi llbri
ngy oul uckandul oko
umileubauMzi isr uthlesswhatabouty ou?al l
forluxurylifeint heexpenseofpeopl e'sl ives,
NO!j ustimagi nemydaught eral mostgr ewup
enagemamabecauseofy ou, myhusband
almostl osthi swi feandmypar ent salmostl ost
adaught ertheonl ychi ldtheyhav ewhom t hey
str
uggl edumt hol a, hay isisiasIsai dift hat's
makey ousl eepatni teitsf i
ne, Imar ri
edi ginsa
AsabutIwi l
lbedamnedi fngi ngamv umel aa-
destr
oyeimpi
lozabant
u,ifIcant
henngi
ngabe
Idon'
tdeser
vetobecall
edawoman"

ChaaIr eallyf eltsorryforAsa, Irat

hersl eep
ngamanzi ,gibel ei-
hashi ofwhichIdo, clean
dirt
ytoil
et s, wearcl othesf r
om estandini
zaseMat atielet hanst ayi
ngi naMansi onhouse
withamanwhowoul dabuseme, tr
eatmel ike
at r
ash, chaaangaskekut hiwengidla
emgqony eni nje,asf ormypar entsIwi l
lnev er
tr
adet hem f orany t
hingev enaplatinum
bangazebezi weasnot hi
ngi nthecommuni t
y
buttomet heywi l
lalwaysbesomet hing, a
blessi
ngmostpeopl ewoul dki
llt
ohav e.

Asa:
"don'
twor
ryaboutme,
I'
m st
rong"
Me:"Ihavenoticed,
Ial
wayssayI'
m st
rong
butt
hisIdoubtIwoul
dhavesur
viv
edit"
Asa:
"that
'sl
i
fedear
,it
sfunnyhowImi
ss
Songezo"
Me:
"wher
eishenow"
Asa:"arounddoi
nggoodf orhimsel
f,ver
y
good,Ihavehear
dher ecentl
yboughtahouse
andisengaged"atearescapedhereye

Me:
"Iam sor
rysi
si"
Asa: "notassorr
yasIam Inganathi
,may be
ngeingunyakawam woqalaasadent i
str
yoras
acli
nicalpsychol
ogi
standIknowwi t
hSongezo
bymysi deIwasgoingtomakei tbut
ndaphaphanobhutiweJeep"

Iwenttohugherforthel
astt
ime,
wecriedon
eachother
sshoulderImeanwecri
edunti
lwe
bothgotbett
er.
..

Me:
"ar
eyousur
eyouwi
l
lbeok"shewi
ped
herey
es
Asa:
"yesIwi
l
l
Me: "Ishoul
dtakemyleave,i
tsget
ti
ngl
ate,
I
'm suremyhusbandi
sst ar
ti
ngtobewor
ri
ed"
Asa:"letmewal ky ouout,thanky oufor
l
ist
eningandt hanky oufornotj udgi
ngmeand
agai
nI '
m sor
ry.Ireall
yfeelbetter"
Me: "I'
m glad,i
fyouwantsomeonetotalkto,
I
'mjustaf onecall
eraway,Idoubtmyhusband
wil
lapproveourmeet i
ngsaft
erwhathappened
butfoneany t
ime"
Asa: "Idon'tbl
amehim,thansagai
nandagai
n
I
'm sorryforever
ythi
ng"
Me:
"cool
"

Aswewerewal
ki
ngt
othel
oungeMzi
wal
ked
i
nyel
l
ing
Mzi :
"y eysfebe,who'scaristhati
nmyy ar,
,,
,
"
Lor dIjusthadhotf l
ashessomemanar e
disrespectfulthedayAyandawoul dcallme
bitchIswearIwi l
lbur
yhim ali
ve.Ifel
tli
ke
vomi ti
ng, hesawme, ohhitsyours,hegr i
nned
atme
Mzi:"t
owhom doIowethepl
easur
eofbei
ng
vi
sit
edbyt
hemightMrsKil
l
erKhumalo"
Me:"Ishoul
dgetgoi
ngAsa"Iwal
kedt
owar ds
t
hedoor,hebl
ockedmywayandcamecloser
t
ome

Mzi: "nosofastpumpki n"heranhisfingers

downmyf ace,theot herhandwasint he
pocketIguessi t
st hesideeli
susweimi nwengu
Ayanda"notsof ast,youwont hefi
rstr ound
butthisti
met hereisnowayt hatyouwi llget
outoft hi
shouse, Iwillt
apthisassofy oursti
ll
yourwombcomesout, Iwantyoutocar r
yitt
o
y
ourhusbandasapresentf
rom met
ohi
mfor
l
eav
ingmendininweeyi
two"

Ial mostpeedmy selfyhoo, Ioncegotscar ed

thedayAy andasaidt omeNdi zakuguba
Inganat hi(Iwi l
lsmashy ou) thedayIwentt o
groov apar kwi t
houtt ell
i
nghi m butinmylifeI
hav enev ermetsomeonewhosai dhewas
goi ngtof uckmeunt ilngisicoshaphansi
i
si belekosami buthellNo! !
!Iwasn'ttheAsa
typehecanbossar ound, Iwasusedt ot
hreats
from Ay andaasmuchasIknewngi yigwal
abut
Ihadt omanuporIhadt owomanupi fi
khona
i
nt oebi zwanj al
o.Iwasn' tmar r
iedtoTaKi l
ler
nge- mi st
ake

Me:Il
ookathi
m hewasnot hi
ngcompar edto
Ay
andaIwassonotgoingtolethi
mi nt
imidat
e
me,Il
ookathi
m st
rai
ghtint
ohi seyes"Just
DAREtouchmewi thyourfi
l
thyfi
ngersagain,
I
sweart
hatshaggydickofyoursIwil
lmakeit
ther
emot etoopenyourgat
esiyezwana!
!!Now
MOVE!!!Ipushedhi
m

Mzi:"damnwoman, Ithoughtyouweresweet,
youareevenruthl
essthanthathusbandof
your
s, butImustsayI
'mt ur
nedonal r
eady,I
l
ikefei
stywomen"

Me: "mf
xm,
opent
hegat
e,by
eAsa"Iwal
ked
out
.

GodknowsIwant edtopul
lmyjeandownand
feel
mypanty
linerifi
twasnotwetbutt
her
e
wasnoti
me, Idroveout.

"
Yhoo,
I'
m dead,
I'
m goi
ngt
obeami
ncemeat
!!
" ,
that'
sal lIcouldsayaf tertheshookIhadmy
dayjustgotbet t
er,thatwasAy anda'scar
packedout si
det hegat e,hef l
ickedtwiceandI
hadt ostop, hegotof fandcamet omycar, I
wasl ookingathi mt hrought hemi r
rorsincehe
parkedbehi ndmewal ki
ngasi fheownedt he
place,hewashandf i
sting,IknewIwasi n
deepshi t
, Ayandadoest hatwhenhei stryi
ngto
calm himsel f,Ipresseddownt hewindow..
..

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
16]Mca:
INSERT192

Ay
anda:
"u-shar
p"
Me: "y
esl
ove,
Iam "Isai
dthatngi
ner
vousas
hel
l
Ayanda:"moja,Iwil
lbeaf
teryou,ungothuki
j
ustaft
erthecir
clekunemotoeziphayaudlul
e
ngamaj
i
tawam nz
ari
nganawomandi
dlul
a"
Me:
"ok"hewentbackt
ohi
scar

DamnIpr essedhar dont heacceler

ator
bengifunaay ongifi
caekhay a,IknewwhatIwas
doingwaspi ssinghim morebutIhadt o
bengizoy i
xoxangi f
ikaekhayacasIknewi twas
notov er.Myf onerangitwashi m, Ianswer
ed
thr
oughbl uetooth

Me:
"Yanda"
Ayanda:"ut
hiNyanda,Ny
anda,
thobaeso
speedgi
nsakazi
ndini"
Me:
"nawey
abal
eki
sanj
e"
Ayanda:"fokokInganathi!
!!Fokof!
!WasI
aski
ngyou,ndawuy enzaibezipi
ecengoku
l
omot osundi-
test
ake"
Me:
"Ixol
o"
I
ndeedIdecreasedthespeed,
wegothome
myfavour
atebrother
s-inl
awwereal
lther
e

Me:
"sani
bonani
"
Msi
ra:
"yeboLastbor
n,kunj
ani
?"
Me:
"ngi
yaphi
l
ani
na"
Msi
ra:
"si
yaphi
l
a,akusi
zongal
uthoukhal
a"
Me:"wel
l,wel
lHl
engi
eisdoi
ngagoodj
obl
a
kuwe"
Msi
ra:
"ukuf
umenephi
u-TaAy
la"

JustthenAyandawalkedinsl
ammi ngthedoor
behi
ndhi m,theangerwaswrit
teninhisface,
hi
sey eswesor ed,Iknewshi
twasaboutt o
happen,hewalkedupstai
rswithoutut
ter
inga
word,weall
wentqui t
eangabisaphendul
anale
bengi
yi
buzwanguMsi
ra.

Mawande:
"what
'supwi
thme?"
Me:
"Iguessi
tssomet
hingIdi
d"
Mawande:
"whati
sitt
haty
oudi
d?"
Msira: "whateverthaty oudi dtrustmeit
s
huge, Ayandaakafaneaf unei-backupandtr
ust
melast bor
ny ouwon'tliket heresultsAy
anda
ubanjeyawhenhei sr eall
ypi ssed"
Me:"Ij
ust.
..Iwant
ed.
."Ebomeemqal
eni
amagama
Ndumi
e:"whatdi
dyoudol
ast
bor
n?"

Me:"Iwentt
oMzi
masi
'shouse"Il
ooked
down
"What"theyal
lchant
ed,
yhooMsi
rashout
ed
me,Ifel
tli
keachil
d
Msi
ra:
"ar
eyouf
uckencr
azy?"
Me:
"IknowbutIneededt
o,,
,
"
Msi r
a:"todowhat, t
oberaped,tobekill
ed,
awulayekiwenayazi,
areyoureal
lyoutofyour
fuckenmind?Doy ouknowyenzanil
anjafor
l
ivingandyouwentbacktohishouseafter
whathedidt oyou?"
Me:
"Ineededt
otal
ktoAsababomdal
a"
Msira:"youknowIl oveyoulastbornbutright
nowIf eel
likebeat ingthehelloutofyou, you
disr
espectedu-Ay anda, maseyekungomba
uzathiu-abusiveandi thi,whyarey ouso
carel
ess,didy out hinkofyourchild?, howcan
youbesosel fi
sh, ungumamaSi many e, a
fuckenmot herofachi l
dwhoi snotev enay ear
old"yhooubugi nsabebumengeny awokuMsi ra
Me:
"IknowandI
'
m sor
ry"
Msira:"y
oudon'tknow, i
fyoudi
dyouwoul
dn'
t
dowhatyoudid,doy ouwannabeki
ll
edor
uyobangumahosahee!!"

Ikeptqui
te

Msi
ra:
"phendul
a!!
"

"Ngumfaziwam l
owosaninotowet
hu,who
gaveyoutheri
ghtt
oshouther"t
hatwas
Ayanda
Msira:"hadeKi l
ler,Ineedsomef r
eshai
r"
yhoooInev ersawMsi rathatf
ur i
ousthat
's
whenIknewIr eall
ymessedup, Ayandawent
passtothegy mr oom ,it
sbetterifumuntu
akuthet
hisamaar amay ethul
ey hooitsator
tur
e
tr
ustme.Iwentupst ai
rsandchangedi nt
o
comfort
abl
eclot
hes, Paddl
ewassleepi
ng,I
ki
ssedher.Iwassonotupt ocooki
ng.Kwavel
e
kwasouryonkeint
o.BabomdalafonedMsir
ato
bri
ngtakeawaysforsupper
.Hecameaf t
er8.

Ay andacamet ouswhenIwasst i
lldishingup
foodbesegezi l
eandhewasdonebat hing
Paddl epop.Wechat t
edov ersupperbuthewas
ver yquitehewasf eedingPaddl epopmash
from KFCi nganeyami ibidlanjeyonkei nt o
ephambi kwayo,shewasbusyaf unai ny amaka
daddywakhe, Ayandabenokumy obuzel ay ona
amdl i
sa, Iwasnotcomf ortabl
ewi ththatbutI
deci dedt okeepqui t
ey hoobengesabai nto
bizaphumangoml omowakhesoIl etitbe.Not
ev enasi nglepersoncr eatedincokonay e.I
guesst heyknowuzophendul ai ni
.

WhenIwasdoneIputt
hedi
shesi
nthedi
sh
washerandmadePaddl epop' sbot tle.It hen
excusedmy selfandwentupst airs.Iwant edt o
sleepbef oreAy andaI nt errogatedme.It ooka
showerandgoti nbedbutbut hongoDoo! !,aft
er
anhoursoAy andawal kedi nnoPaddl epop,
speaki ngbabyl anguage, shewasal most10
mont hsooodaaa-dooandal lthosebaby
thingsbesezi shozi qine.Theychat tedf oral ong
ti
meIwassopr ayinguJehov aangi phe
ubut hongobuti twasl ikehewaspuni shingme
fordi sr
espect i
ngmyhusband.Ukuv eu- pretend
ngat hiuleleuzimbozengengubov ele
kubeshushu, soIpr etendedt obeasl eepmani
butbengi yangi bashushu, ngav ulanj ei-gap- ana
forikhalasot hatIcanbr eath.Het henst arted
singingl ull
abysongf orPaddl epopsosof tthat
i
tgotmedr owsyt oo.Iwasdr i
ftingni celyt o
Lalalandal lthanst omyangr yhusband: D.He
stoppedaf tersomet i
meIguesshi sPr i
ncess
wasasl eep.
YhoooIf el
tAy andaget
ti
ngintobed,he
broughtmecl oserandcuddledmefrom
behind,Iheldumoy awamingangaphef
umul
a.

Ay
anda:
"heyFOKOFwenabr
eat
h!!

Ibr
eat
hedout
.

Ayanda:"Iwantyoutotakesel
fdef
ense
cl
assesandgof orshoot
ingr
ange"hewas
br
ushingmyleftarm
Me:
"haaaa,
why
??I
'
m notdoi
ngt
hatAy
anda"
Ayanda:"Idon'
trememberaski
ngy
ou,
I'
m
tel
l
ingyou"
Me:"Iwon'
tbef
orcedindoi
ngsomethingI
don'
twantt
odo,notbyyounotbyanyoneel
se"
Ayanda: "I
nganat hiyouaregoingther
eand
that
'sfi
nal,
kongamamel ikwakhoIcannotrely
onthisGPSt rackingbraceletandy
ourphone,I
real
l
ycannotr iskatl
eastImustknowi f
anyt
hinghappenst oyouuzakwaziuzil
welaand
Ihavebeent alkingaboutthegunthati
sinyour
youmustbeabl etouseit"
Me: "y
ouhaveputat
rackeri
nmyf
onewi
thout
t
ell
i
ngme, ar
eyoumad?
Ay
anda:
"yesmadabouty
oursaf
ety"
Me: "mfxxm ,ngehl
ukenganikwi
sboshwa,
ndizakhuphakwal ebr
acel
etminangikuphe
nalophoni,itbel
ongstoyouveley
ouar epayi
ng
foritangit
hi"
Ay
anda:
"youar
ereal
l
ypi
ssi
ngmeSi
many
e"
Me:
"good,
casI
'
m pi
ssedmy
sel
f"

Ay
anda:
"youar
est
art
ingnextsat
urday
Si
many
eandt
hat
'sf
inal
"
Me:
"mf
xmm"
Ay anda: "Inganat hiKhumal o, mamaka
Ubenat hi,I'
mt ry i
ngmyl ev elbestnott odo
somet hingIwi llregretlatersodon' tpushme,
i
tsnott hatndi yakwesabaSi many e, keepon
pissingmekemf aziwam y oumi ghtnotwake
upi ncommaungenamazi ny onj engal akakazi
buy ekuy obuty ouwi l
lwakeupi nacof fin
ungenamant l
a, youwi lltaket hosecl asses, i
s
thereany thingengav akaliyo"hesai dt hatina
verypol i
tewaybutbekubandaamazant siesisu,
i
fay andai sshout i
ngf earnotbutwhenhei s
politehei sdanger ous.I fyout hinkngokuasho
konkebekushohewasst il
l brushi ngmyar m
yout houghtwr ongbusobebumanzi zinyembezi
, YesIwascr ying, bengi qinisekul amat hambo
alaezi ngal weni engiqini
senqi ,ify ouhav en'tbe
heldt heret hemannerIwashandl edt heny ou
knownot hing.Iwassosur et hatwhenIwoke
upfol
lowi
ngdaymyboneswer
egoi
ngt
obe
decl
aredbr
oken.

Ay
anda:
"si
veneSi
many
e"Inodded
Ay
anda:
"andi
vanga"
Me:
"yesYanda,
ndi
vi
le"
Ay anda:"good"hebrushedmyarmsyhooI
startedsobbi
ngbengathii
ngal
ozami
azisebenzi
.

Ayanda: "ifyoulist
ened, Iwasn'tgoi
ngt odo
whatI'm doingrightnowandy ouknowhow
muchIhat eseei ngy ousheddingtearsbutyou
havetopr i
ckmyass, y
ouleavemewi thno
choicebutt oputoneofMzi '
sfi
ngersinyour
pursejustasar emi nderofwhatIdot opeople
abangamamel i
yo"y hoooIswearngawuzwa
umchamouza, Imov edtr
yingtoruntothe
bat
hroom

Ay
anda:
"yaphi
,I
'm notdone"
Me:
"ndi
yazi
ntshont
shel
abhabha,
letgo"
Ay
anda:"itsf
inezabeuchamelai
ndodayakho
mossnebediy
ethu,whatiswrongwit
hthat?

HaaaIcr i
edhar der,Iwassonotgoi ngtopee
onthebedngi hleli
at21chaa.Hel etgo, Iranto
thebathr oom.Iwasr eall
yterri
fi
edwi t
hwhat
Ayandasai dbengathi I
'm makingnoi se
mangint shontsha, ngashay aamashor tstori
es
somet heysayngamaepi sodeskubone
mawul okout hitswi umincephindeunt i
lyouare
done,Idi dexactlythat.CouldAy andabe
keepi
ngMzi '
sfingers.Iwentbackt obed, Iwas
hesi
tatingt ogetin
Ay
anda:
"li
ndewenaI
nga"
Me:"andezel
iYanda"
Ayanda:"ndi
kukhabeke"Igotin"takeoff
yourpj,
Iwannaputatrackeri
ny ourboobs"
Haaamyeyespopout,
GodAy andal
aughedat
me,Ifel
tsost
upi
dyazi,Iendeduplaughi
ng
mysel
fmfxmmm.

Me:
"youar
ecr
azyy
azi
"
Ayanda:"Ishoul
dhav
ecapt
uredt
hatmoment"
Ihi
thischest
.

Ay
anda:
"whatdi
dthatnonsensesay"

Itol
dhim every
thing,
from t
heconver
sati
on
withAsatil
lkufi
kau-Mzi,It
rust
edYanda.I
real
lyf
eltsorr
yforAsa
Ayanda: "yousaidwhat"Ayandawaslaughi
ng
ver
yhard"y outoldahardcor
ethugthatyou
weregoingt ousehi
scockasar emote,yeyi
sa
I
nganathi "
Me: "IwasscaredtodeathYandabutIcouldn'
t
l
etthatmonsterint
imidat
eme, phelangi
wu
MrsGodzil
la,Isneezeandthemot herf
uckers
getthecol
d"bephelil
ey i
nsi
niuAyanda.

Ok,l
etmewar nyouezakwaGodzi
ll
aazingena
ungaf
ikasi
l
il
isananextt
hingwelaughi
ng

Ayanda:"ayhhii
njeonewouldthi
nky ouare
qui
teandinnocentkant
iabazini
x,ifIwasstil
l
act
ivel
yinv
olvedinthegang,Iwasgoi ngt
o
makey oualeader"
Me:
"doy
oubl
ameme,
Icamet
oCapeTown
tost
udybutIbecameunoteksi
kazif
or2mont
hs
andumfazi
weex- gi
nsaf
or2y ear
s"

Ayanda: "that
'sther
easonwhyy oushoul
d
takeezicl
assesbhabhaandonaser i
ousnote
Simanyewhaty oudi
dreal
l
ypissedIalmost
kil
ledyoungezandla"
Me:
"Iwi
l
landI
'
mreal
l
ysor
ryYanda"
Ayanda:"Iknowy
oumeanwel
lbuty
ouwi
l
lget
i
ntoshit
"
Me: "tr
ustmenowIknow, YandaIknowl at
ely
wehav ef ighti
ng,wehav ebeenoneachot hers
throatsandwesai dthingswedi dn'tmeanand
angikulalelangabutaf terIhav espokentoAsaI
j
ustr ealizedIam t hel uckiestwoman, ndingabe
angikubongi mihlay onkeMt ungwabutI '
m
gratefulf oreverythingnotf orungil
imazakodwa
"bengi l
indel eangiphoxesukewecwaka
Me:
"Yanda"

Qui
te

Me:
"Ay
anda"

Het urnedmesosof tl
yandsogent l
yandheld
met ight,hesqueezedmenotkabi ,af
ter
somet imehespokehi svoicewashoar sel
y,I
knewhewascr yingbutthecleverAyanda
broughtmecl osertohim sothatIcouldn'
tsee
hewascr yi
ng

Ayanda: "Idon'
twantt ol
oseyouI nganathi,I
can'
timaginelif
ey ououtyouMar hadebe, I'
m
nottel
li
ngy ounowbutI '
m beggingyou, stay
awayfrom Mz i'
sgi r
lf
ri
end,becauseofhernow
youwillbesuckingGodknowswho' sdickmay
beofanol
dAsi
anoraCowboy

Il
aughedhar
d

Ayanda:"ayai
hlekisiI
nganathi
, hl
eka
ububhanxabendizothiuphi
kubabanoTot i,
ayi
hleki
si,
kuweev eryt
hingi
saj oke,Khul
aa
maarn!!"

Me: "I'
m sor
rybhabha"hhabebengi
ba
si
sahleka
Ayanda: "j
onganat oday,
youdidn'
tsayyou
weregoingtohisplace,whati
fbufi
kekukhona
ezanonsenseasebenzanazoandtheydrugyou
buzasi
neka"
Me:
"Idi
dn'
tthi
nki
tthatway"
Ayanda:"that
'st
heprobl
em wi
thyou,
youdon't
thi
nkyoujustdoi
t"hewasstar
ti
ngtosqueeze
meIknewbekuv
ukaumsi
ndoagai
nhaaaaIhad
t
omanipul
atehi
m.

Me:
"Yanda,
kubuhl
ungu"
Ay
anda:
"phi
"
Me: "ezingal
weni,dumbil
eYanda"t r
ust
i
ny embezizam makumelezingi
sebenzel
e,t
he
tearf
all
sdidthei
rjobngabengiqedi
le
ngoMt ungwa.

Ayanda:"phephi Lingxi,
phephiMarhadebe,
phephibhabha,ndishiywengumsindo
Mashwabada, "hay ikebaboongazigr
umba
ezansi
zasabelanazozazi fl
oods

Ayanda:"xol
akalokuMfaziwam ,
xol
akal
oku
Thandol
wam, xol
aVuyol
wam."Hemademe
sl
eepontopofhim whil
ebrushi
ngmyback,
yadlal
aIhadhiccupsbesengi l
il
elanezansuku
kwakumelendivukeandchangedPaddl epop
yenaengekhoeset swhal
eni.Eishhmyhear ti
bi
winkeeeandincumengat hiigcadelwe
unogwajangeteaspoon.Yougott obe
str
ategict
obef orgiv
en,kusemhl abenil
a.

Onaser i
ousnot
efrom t
hatnight,Ir
eali
zed
thatGodgavemeanotherchancengisaphel
ele.
Iwasgoingtost
ayoutofmi schi
efandgoingto
l
istentomyhusbandwhenitcomest omy
safety
.Wedozeoffsi
xolel
ene..
..

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
16]Mca:
INSERT193

Iwaslef
twithnochoicebuttoat
tenddefense
cl
assesbutasforshooti
ngrangeIreal
l
y
beggedAy
andatogi
vemesometi
meIwas
real
l
yscar
edofgunsofwhi
chhef
inal
l
yagr
eed.

Iwasbehav i
ng,forachange,y
estherewere
ti
meswher eIwoul dt
hinkofAsa,whatand
howshewasdoi ngbutashardasitwasIhad
tokeepmydi st
anceandshenev erfonedandI
didn'
thavehernumbercasAy andadelet
edher
number,theDM'sandev er
ythi
ngthathadtodo
withAsaandIwasnotgoi ngtogot oherhouse
notbutanychanceunlessIwantedtowakeup
i
nacof fi
nndikhangel
aamanhl awami.

Every
thingwasbacktonor mal
, Iwasst
il
l
att
endingmyGer manclassessooneTuesday
whenIwentf ormysessionAlikiEl
zond(my
tut
or)calledmetoheroffi
ce.Isatopposi
tet
o
her.
Ali
ki:
"MrsKhumal
o,t
her
eisaf
avourIwanna
askfr
om y
ou"
Me:
"goahead"
Ali
ki:"Ihaveaboywhoi sschooli
ngat
DeutsheuInternational
eSchuleKapst adt,I
can'
ttutorhim dur i
ngthedaybecausehei sat
schoolli
key ouar eatworktheonlytimeIcan
squeezehimi ncl asheswit
hy our
s.Iwas
wonderingifisitgoingtobeapr oblem ifItut
or
bothofy ouatt hesamet i
me.Ipromi seIwi l
l
giv
ebot hofy oumyf ul
lat
tenti
onbuti fyouare
notcomf ort
ablewi ththearr
angementsayso
aft
erallyouar epay i
ngtogetbestser vi
ce"

Me: "no,t
hat'
snotapr
obl
em i
nawayt
hatwi
l
l
hel
pmet oo"
Al
i
ki:
"ohht
hanky
oul
i
ebl
i
ng"
Me:
"pl
easur
e"
Shewentt
ocall
him andcamebackwi
thaboy
about16y
ear
sold.

Ali
ki:"Mr
sKhumalot
hisi
sGi
ovanni
,Gi
ovanni
thi
sisMrsKhumal
o"

Gi
ovanni
:"ni
cet
omeety
ouMr
sKmal
"

Webot
hlaughednoAl
i
ki

Me:"l
ikewisedon'
tworrywheny
ouleav
eher
e,
youwi
l
l beabl
etopronouncemysur
name"
Gi
ovanni
:"Ihopeso"
Me:"sowhydoyouneedat
utor?i
sGer
many
noty
ourhomel
anguage?
Gi
ovanni
:"no,
I'
mfr
om I
tal
y,IspeakI
tal
i
an
butIdoGer
manasmyhomel
anguagei
nmy
school"
Me:"ohhIsee,thenwhichmeansIhav
e
anot
herl
anguagetolear
n"

Weal ll
aughedsoasf r
om t hatdayIwas
att
endingmycl asseswithGi ovanniandhewas
asweetki d, hetoldmeal otabouthisschool
hi
sFami l
yofwhi chImett hem oneev eni
ng
whent heywer epicki
nghi m andt r
ustme
ngothandai zi
ntohewast eachingmeI t
ali
an
andIwoul dhel phim hereandt hereinMat hs
andSci ence.

I
twasmi dSeptember,wewer egoingoutas
Khumalo'smy4brothersi
nlawy es4excluding
Xhant
i.Youmightbewonder i
ngwhoi st
he
for
thpersoni
fuXhantiangekho,i
twasNdi y
a
weallcall
edhi
m Ndiyabuthisnameis
Ndi yabonga, Ay anda'sl it
tl
ebr other.Ndumi e
deci dedt ot ookhi mi nsohewasst ay ing
kwaNdumi ebuty ouknowt heKhumal ossoi n
allbef ananabany emostoft hetimehewasi n
ourhouse.Hequi thisjobasasecur it
yandwas
wor ki ngatMcdonal dsf orti
mebei ng, hi s
brot her spr omi sedt otakehi m backt oschool
followi ngy ear, hewassuchadar li
ngt oo.Same
char act erasNdumi esot hisdaywewer eabout
toleav ePaddl epopbesezi mela(st andi ngon
herown)sowhenYandawasaboutt opi ckher
yhoy acat hul ainganey am YES!shewal kedto
herdad, shet ook3st epandf loppedi nt he
fl
oor , thej oy, thehappi nesswehadwas
unex plainabl e,asapar entthere'snot hingI
meannot hingt hatmakesy ourhear tfilledwith
j
oyt hant oseey ourchildtakeherf i
r stst ep.
Ay andamadeherwal kagai nwhi l
ehewas
videor i
zingherhay ikenganey ami Idon' tknow
whet heri twasbecauseoft hecheer i
ngf rom
hisuncl esshef loppedont hef l
ooragai nand
cr
ied.

Amont
hlat
er.
..
..
.

My22ndbi rthdayhadpassedal r
eadywe
decidednottomakei tbigwei nv
itedonlyclose
fr
iendsandhadabr aai anddaddyAy anda
madeacakef orherbhabhaaspr omi sed
shameumy eni wam hewasu- mast erinbaking,
Iguesswewer ealll
ooki ngf or
wardt oPaddle
pop'sbirt
hday ,uNopot yikamakhul u
besehambaagcwal aindawoy onke,
bengadibaninomt uov ul
ai scabhabel i
la
kubekubibey i
thandaintoedi benenemot o
nohambai nganey ami.

Sothisdayi
twasabi gday,Daddy'
sand
PaddlePop'
sbirt
hday,remembertheyar
e
shar
ingabir
thday,
itwasonwednesdaybutwe
decidedtocelebr
ateitonSat urdaysothat
everyoneabekhonaandbabomdal a(Xhanti)
andKamv awerealsocomi ngsoSat ur
daywas
goingtoaccommodat eev eryone,youwould
sweart hatPaddl
epopwast urning16,sodad
wasbusydecor ati
ngPaddl epop' scakeand
wewer ebusydecor at
ing.

MawandeandNdumi eweregoi
ngtofet
ch
I
ndiphi
l
eandhisf
riends(ki
dsfr
om
oomakhel
wanebakaThandiswa)about12.

Wewer ealmostdonewithever
ythingshodasi -
fr
eshenup, obabomdalawereaboutt ol
eav e
andfetchthekidst
her
ewasabuzzi nthegate,
Kamv aansweredandopenedupf orwhoev er
wasbuzzing.Shecametomeany ukubal
ise
ubuso.
Me:
"what
'sup"
Kamv a:"di
dyouhavetoinvi
teyourmother-i
n
-lawSimanye?Thatwomanmakesmesi ck,I
real
lycan'
tst
andher,sheisabit
ch"shewas
whisperi
ngsi
nceooayandabebekhona

Me:
"Idi
dn'
thhabe,
butbehav
esekel
a"
Kamva:"aft
ershesai
dyoumustnev
erset
yourf
ooti
nherhouse"
Me: "shehastherighttobehere, shemight
hatemebutfactiskukwany anakhe, shehas
theful
lri
ghtt
obeher enjengami ,
any waydon'
t
mindherI'
m grat
efulthateventhoughshe
hatesmebutshecameIt houghtakazuza"

Kamva:"kungangconaangazot
hethaumbola
ngobangi
zamkhombangegat emina,akho
l
aphanaezi
famala"
Me:
"shhhhh"

Wewentt ot helounge, myj

awsdr opped
i
mmedi atel
y, Lomzi waswithherSist
erthey
wal
kedt othel oungewheretheguy swer
eand
t
heyexchangedgr eeti
ng.HegreetedKamv a
whoalsogr eetedbackandshel ookedatme
f
rom bottom tot op.

Lomzi:"Si
many eusabhi
tyenangoku,It
hought
i
malizi
kaAy andazi
zakut
yebisa,ut
hiawugul
i
nj
eukeway ozij
ongafori
ngculaza"

Jehov
alomamabengi
zwaninj
eforheavensake
i
twasmybabyandmyhusband'sbir
thday.
GodknowsIwassonotgoi
ngtolett
hat
womanchangemymood.
Boniswa: "l
ont
oSi many ei
nhlonipho
awusenay ousi
hambel angenhloko
si
ngomamezal a, awunantl
oniphof u
bendili
ndel
einikuwe"ImeanKamv awas
wearingashortatleastIwaswear i
ngadress
eventhoughitwasshor t"

Ayanda:"bhabhacomeandsi
ther
e"he
poi
ntedhisl
ap

Ishookmyhead

Ayanda:"bhabha!
!Comeher
e"Iwentt
osi
t
nexttohi
m
Boni
swa: "aren'
tyougoingtomakeuscof f
ee
Si
many e,orusisthabamzini
,kwakhokunzi
ma
kwenzaikof
i"
Ay
anda:
"whatar
eyout
wodoi
ngher
ecause
nowyouarereal
lypi
ssi
ngmeof f,i
fani
zanga
kwibi
rt
hdaykaUbenathif
okof
anike
ni
ngazot
hethaukuny
aapha"

Xhant
i:"Ay
anda!
!"
Ayanda:"suthiAy
anda,Ayandandi
mamel
e
ezi
kakazizi
melenenoInga,
,
,th.
."

Me: "bhabhapl
easehel
pmewi t
hthecof
feee-
ki
tchen, ooMhacameforapar
tynott
ofi
ght"
Lomzi:"wearenotheref
orle-par
ty
yomqhakhwe(bastar
dchil
d)wakhobutf
or
i
mportantt
hings.

Me:
"wel
li
nthatcaseIwi
l
lbei
ntheki
tchen"
Lomzi:"youneedtoheart
hist
oo"shesai
d
thatwi
thboldness.
Ndumie:"I'
m sur
eitcanwai
tasy
oucansee
kunepar
tyapha"
Lomzi:"oobububhanxacanwai
tBoni
swa
needst
ogobackhome"

Ay
anda:
"thet
hani
kal
okuandl
eav
emyhouse"
Kamv
a:"whati
sitkant
i,t
hisi
ski
l
li
ngt
hepar
ty
vi
be"
Xhant
i:"shutupKamv
a,showsomer
espect"

Lomzi:"si
zobi
kai
sisu.
..
..
."Weal
ll
ookedat
eachot
her,Lomzi
wasal lsmi
l
ey.
..

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
17]Mca:
INSERT194

Whent
heysayl
i
fei
sunpr
edi
ctabl
etr
ustmei
tis.
Ihaveheardpeoplesayi
ngifyourcarhasbeen
stol
eny oulookf
oritev
enundersmal lst
ones
notthatyouarenotawarethatther
eisnoway
thatthecarcanbeunderthestonebutatthat
momentIguessy ourminddoesnotf unct
ion
well.

Me:
"whohasast
omachbug"
Lomzi :
"ist
hereany
onewhoment
ioned
anyt
hingaboutst
omachbug"
Me:
"thenwhatar
eyout
alki
ngabout"

Xhant
iint
erv
ened

Xhant
i:"asfarasI
'
m concer
nKamv aand
I
nganathi
arenotpr
egnant,I
nganat
hi,
areyou
pr
egnant?
Me:
"noI
'
m notbabomdal
a"
Lomzi
: "theyarebot
hnotpregnantbut
Chwai
tais,thati
swhyBoniswacamet hi
ssi
de"
Me:
"thenwhyar
eyout
ell
i
ngusmama"
Lomzi:"shei
scar
ryi
ngy
ourhusband'
schi
l
d,
mygrandchil
d"

Ichokedonmysal
i
va

Me:
"excuseme"
Lomzi:"y
ouhear
dme, y
ourhusbandhas
i
mpregnat
edChwait
a"
Me:
"ok,
Iseewhatmustwedo?"
Lomzi:"I
'm heretoinf
ormyounotget
comfor
tabl
ei ndl
ali
fakaAyanda(Ayanda'
shei
r
)isont
heway "

Xhant
i:"Lomzi
thi
sisnott
her
ightt
imenort
he
r
ightpl
ace.
."
Ayanda:"didyouhavetocomet odayMamzo
knowingexact
lyit
smychi l
d'
sfir
stbir
thdayand
youknowexactlywhatitwi
lldotoSimanye,
whydoy ouhateher.
..

Me:"bhabhaandbabomdal
aIgotthi
s"I
l
ookedatthem ,
Xhant
inoddedbutAyanda
di
dn'
t

Ay
anda:
"Inga.
."

Me:"it
spr
ett
ywellt
hatesi
sisusi
zi
sweki
mi,
andl
etmedealwi
ththi
s"
Ay
anda:
"Inganat
hiy
oudon'
thav
etobhabha"
Me:
"Hay
iAy
anda"
Hekeptqui
te

Me: "mamawer eallyappr eciat

ethef actthat
youbot hcameal lthewayf rom Nyangat ot ell
usthi sy oushouldhav ef onedy azibutIneedt o
correcty outhereisnot hing!absolutel
ynot hing!
thatwi l
l makemeuncomf ortabl
einmyown
houset hismakesmeev enmor ecomf ort
abl e.
Youar enotfir
stper sonpr obablynotthel astto
tel
lmenott ogetcomf ortabl
e, t
hequest i
oni sif
Idon'tgetcomf or
tablei nmyownhousewher e
woul dIbecomf ort
abl e?"

Lomzi
:"i
nyourhouseNt
ombazana"
Me: "thi
sismyhouse, ifyouandChwai ta
thoughtt
hat,bybeingpregnantwit
hAy anda'
s
chil
dIwilll
eavehimtheny ouhaveanother
thi
ngcomi ng.I'
m notgoinganywhere.If
Chwaitaisreal
l
ypregnantwithhischil
dthenI
wi
l
lrai
seherchi
l
dasmi
ne"
Lomzi
:"t
hatwi
l
lnev
erhappen"
Me: "tr
ustmemamai twil
l,
shehastwo
opti
ons, i
tsei
thershedoesthatorel
seshe
won'tbegetti
nganycentfr
om myhusbandand
uzaphumakwakul afl
atahl
alakuyo"
Lomzi :"I
'
m gladAyandawi l
lfi
nall
yseehow
cruelandsel
fi
shy ouare,howcany ouleta
pregnantwomanbehomel ess,worstofall
the
womanwhoi spregnantwithyourhusband's
chil
d"

Me: "I'
m gl
aditsfr
om yourmout ht
hati
tsmy
husband'schil
d,shesleptwithmyhusband
knowingexactl
yheismar ri
edsonowshehas
tobearwiththeconsequences"

Lomzi
:"Chwai
tawi
l
lbemov
ingi
nsoony
ou,
t
hesoony
ouacceptt
hatt
hebet
ter
"
Me: "t heni nthatcasey oursonmustdi vorce
mef ir
stasl ongasI '
m st i
l
lhiswi feofwhi ch
l
egal Iam t hent hereisnoChwai t
awhoi sgoi
ng
tomov einher e, Isti
llsayi freal
lyitsAy anda's
babywewi l
l r
aiseher /hi m shewi l
l haveaccess
toherchi ldbutshei snotmov i
ngi nhereandi f
shewant stor aiseherchi lditsfi
nebutshe
mustf orgett hatAy andawi ll
bepar toft hatand
thatfi
nal ,soifbeni zelelontokuphel ayoumay
takey ourleav eorst ayf orthepar t
yi fy
ouwant ,
thi
sismyhousemyhusbandIwi llnotbet old
whatt odonotev enbyy oumamaand
l
omhl anganouphel il
e! !"Istooduphhabei t
wasmychi ldfir
stbi rt
hdayIwasnotgoi ngtosit
therengi khulumei nsambat heka(nonsense)

Ayanda:"bhabha,canItal
k"hesaidthati
na
ver
ypoli
teway, hi
svoicewasful
lofguil
ty
Me:
"I'
mli
steni
ngandmakei
tqui
ck"
Ayanda:"pl
easecomeandsi
ther
e"Iwentt
o
si
tinhisl
ap

Ayanda:"l
uckyenoughyouar
eallhere,
bhabha,hemademef acehi
m "whateverhe
wasgoingtosayIwassonotreadyfori
t,t
he
pal
m ofmyhandsstart
edtosweat.

Ayanda: "Iwil
lstartwithy ouLomzi andmakazi
,I'
mv erydisappointedi nyou, y
oushoul dhav e
handl
edt hisdi
fferentl
y, thisissensiti
ve, wena
Lomziyoushoul dknow.Youhav ebeent here
befor
e, Iknowy ouhat eI ngabuty oushoul d
havewai t
edkwadl ulai-birt
hdaykaPaddl epop
never
thelessthedamagehasbeendone
alr
eady.I'
m sureyouar ebot hhappyt hatfi
nall
y
yougotwhaty ouwant ed, youf ai
l
edwi th
Zimasaandwi thChwai taYesImustadmi tyou
hav
esucceeded"

Myhear tsanky esIv owedt obet hereformy

husbandi nsicknessandi nheal t
hy, i
ngoodor
badbutwasi twor thi ttostickt omyv owsaf ter
thi
s, wasIr eallystrongt obeast epmot herto
Ayanda' schild.YesIwoul dn'tmi nditthat
muchi fthechi ldwasf r
om hi sprevious
rel
ationshipbef oreImetYanda.She/hewas
goingtobeconst antremi ndert hatmyhusband
cheatedhewasgoi ngt obet hel i
nkbet ween
AyandaandChwai t
a.He/shewasgoi ngtobe
thereasonf orLomzi andBoni swat oseemeas
thi
sincompet entwi fet oAy anda.Thequest i
on
was, wasdi vorcingAy andagoi ngt ochanget he
factthatChwai tawaspr egnantwi t
hhischi l
d.
Wasdi vorcinghi m goi ngtomakemehappy,
may bey esbutIknewf orsurei twasnotgoi ng
tomakemehappyIr eal l
ylov edmyhusband.
Theonl ywaywast oj ustacceptt hesit
uationas
hur
ti
ngasitwasaf
teral
lthechi
l
dwasi
nnocent
andhewasAyanda'
sblood.

Ayanda: "bhabha, I
'm sorryfordi sappoi nting
youMar hadebe, Ihav en'tbeent hemanbuf una
ndibey i
yondi y
axolisamamaka-Ubenat hi yesI
cheat edony ou"y oomyhear twentst raightt o
myt oes"I '
m sosor ry, Idon'tknowhowbuti na
wayIwasst art
ingtol i
keChwai t
awhi leshewas
here, whenIl ookedather, myhear twoul d
warm upandst ar
tedt ohat ey ou.Itwasv ery
str
angecaswhenshewasoutofmysi ghtI
woul dev enthinkaboutherIknowIhav ebr oken
myv owst hatIwillloveonl yyout il
ldeat hdome
apar tbutmyhear tcheat edony oundicel a
undix ol
elebhabha.Youst oodbymesekukubi ,
i
fIr emai nedstrongnoneoft hiswoul dhav e
happened, obubuhl ungubenzekangobay ou
choset ol oveme.Nakul endazi lethembal am
youwi l
lstandbyme, awuz i
ndilahlel
aizandl aI
knewy ourloveformewi l
lnotbeshakenbyt hi
s.
Ndicelaundenzelei-f
avourMar hadebewi pe
thosetearsndikuli
l
isekwanelemf aziwam ,
whenIsai dul
uVuy ol wam Imeanti talukho
olunyeuvuyondawubuy endil
ufumane.Bel i
eve
mewhenIsayev enthoughIhadt hose
episodesoflikingherbutIdidn'tsleepwi thher
l
etalonekissingher, ndi
kholweI nga"Il ooked
athim Iwasst i
llcr
ying"sayy oubel i
eveme
bhabha"

Me:
"Ibel
i
evey
ouYanda"
Ayanda:"Enkosi
Marhadebeyouhavenoidea
howmucht hi
smeant ome, l
ookatme"Idid
andhewipedmyt ear
sIwil
lsortt
hisonceand
foral
luv
il
e"Inodded

Lomzi:"ar
eyout
hatscar
edofthi
switchyou
cal
lyourwi
fei
nawaythatyouwil
ldenyyour
chi
l
dyourownbl
oodAy
anda"

Ayanda: "doyoust
il
lhaveChwaita'snumber"
Inoddedgiveitt
ome"Ist oodupandwentt o
takemyf oneandcameback, hedial
led
Chwaita'snumberandputitonloudspeaker
.I
rangtwiceandshepickedup

Chwai
ta:
"hel
l
owbhut
iAy
andahowar
eyou"
Ay
anda:
"gr
and,
sespan"
Chwai
ta:
"nobhut
iI'
m of
ftoday"
Ay
anda: "good,
foneacabi
zokudr
opperapha
wi
llpay"
Chwai
ta:"okbhuti
,worseIwasbor ed,Idi
dn't
knowwheretogo"Icouldfeeltheexcit
ement
i
nhervoi
ce,wewer eallquit
ey ouwoul dswear
wewereinanightv
igi
l,fewmi nutestherewas
abuzzi
nthegateKamv awentt oopen,
Chwaitawal kedin,t
heshockedshehadwhen
shesawt hatt hehousewasf ull,
Idon'tbl
ame
herbesimbhekesonkeIguessweal l
wantedto
seeifreal
lyshewaspr egnantornotyhoomy
j
awsdr oppedt omyf eetshewasreall
y
pregnantshewasst arti
ngtoshow.Lomzi
smiledawi deone.Xhant igaveheracabfare
andshewentout .

Kamva: "Igoingwit
hher,Idon'twantherto
run,t
hatbitchisl
yi
ng"yhooweal ll
ookedat
eachotherIwantedtol
augh, theycameback
shestoodI'
m notsurewhethershewasscar ed
orshewant edsomeonetoofferheraseat.

Lomzi
:"Ay
andasukaahl
aleumamomt
anakho
"

Ay
andal
aughedandIknowwhenAy
anda
l
aughsl
i
ket
hat
.

Kamv a: "hay igoandt akeachai re-dinning

room wena, doy ouhav eahelperher echi ini
bekimil
enzengat hinguNomt sit
siri
gwanaor
Ingxangxosi "y hooweal ll
aughedexceptf or
ourguest s.Guy sreall
ylaughedatherIr eal l
y
l
ookedatherl egsbi ngamaswazi .Igott o
reali
zethatev ent houghChwai t
awasbeaut if
ul
bemi l
ekambi .Shewasal way sinherl ong
dressesandski r
tsexceptf orthedayIgot
homeandshewaswear ingtheshor testdr ess
everandIdi dn' tpayat t
enti
oncasIwasst il
l
furi
ousatAy andawhobr oughthisassoci ates
i
nourhouse.

IaskedKamv awhatisu-
Nomtsi
tsi
ri
gwanashe
expl
aineditsanunusual
chi
cken,aver
ysmall
,
thi
nchickenalmostt
hesamesizeasadove,I
haven'
tseenonebutshesaidbezikhonange
90sinhervi
ll
age.Andi-Ngxangosi.Shesaidi
ts
abird,bi
gbutwithl
ongt hi
nlegsshedi dnt
knowinEngli
shsounfortunat
elynami Idon'
t
knowI'
m sorr
y.

Shecameback.Wewer
est
il
ll
aughi
ng.

Lomzi:"wenaKamv
a,I'
m sur
eyoudon'
t
wannastar
twit
hmecauseyouwon'
tli
kei
t"
Kamv a:"bringitonIwil
lshowyouhowwil
ldo
i
tko-petori
,I'm notI
ngaminathaty
oucanwal
k
over,I
'm noone' sdoormat"

Me:
"let
'sf
ini
sht
his,
itsmychi
l
d'sbi
rt
hday"
Lomzi:"Chwait
atel
lthem,
tel
lSi
many
ethi
sis
Ayanda'schi
ld"
Shel
ookeddown

Lomzi:"Chwait
a,goaheadmychi
l
d"she
star
tedcr
ying
Chwai
ta:"i
tsnotbhut
iAy
anda'
schi
l
d
Somkhul
u"
Lomzi:"whatar
eyout al
ki
ngabout,
thi
sis
Ayanda'
schil
d,tel
lthem "
Chwai
ta:"Itri
edSomkhul u,Ireallydi
dbutsis
I
ngachasedmebef or
eIcouldsl eepwithhim,
hewasnotinter
ested,Itr
iedSomkhul ut odo
whatyousaidImustdobuti tdidn'twork,bhut
i
l
ovessisi
Inga,I'
m sorry"

Lomzi :"andwho'schi
l
disthat,
don'ttel
lme
i
tsNdumi so'
s,MawandeorMsimelelo,why
didn'
tyout el
lmeit
snotAyanda'
swhi l
eIasked
youngat hiumit
hi"
Chwaita:"no,akekhoongutat
awomt ana,you
didn'
taskwhoisthefathersomkhul
u,Dannyis
thefat
her"shel
ookeddownandpl ayedwit
hher
hands

Lomzi:"whoi
sDanny, y
imihl
olandi
yavel
elwa,
besi
kuzi
sel
entoni
kweli
kapa?uzokhulel
wa
umtanakaDannyorokaAyanda"
Chwai
ta:
"okabhut
iSomkhul
u"
Boni
swa:"thenl
oDannywakhonguAyanda,
wher
edidyoumeett
hisdannyboy?"
Chwai
ta:"Imeethi
m atwor
k,Iwashi
s
wai
tr
ess,heli
kedmeandweexchanged
number
s"
Boni
swa: "
wasosewam-serv
ernamaphansi
la
wakho"hayiIl
aughedont
hatone"wher
edoes
hestay"
Chwai
ta:
"inVasco"
Boni
swa:
"ungowaphi
"

Shecr i
edhar der,yhooIr eall
yfel
tforher,t
he
wayt heywer eshoutingatherasi fshekil
l
eda
person, Yesshealmostsl eptwit
hmyhusband
butshewasf orcedtodot hat,Imeanjust
i
magi nebeingar uralgirl
bei ngusedtoarural
l
ifeandsomeonet akesy ouakuphonse
emhadi niwezingonyamat odoherdirt
yjobits
notnice.IstoodupAy andaknewwher eIwas
goinghehel dme.

Ay
anda:
"younotgoi
ngt
oherI
nganat
hi"
Me: "pleaseYanda"Ij
ustwant
edt
ohugherI
wasn'tgoingt
osayanythi
ngIwasj
ustgoi
ngt
o
hugher.

Boni
swa:
"Speak,
kuphi
kowabo,
kumel
e
kuy
obi
kwal
ont
othat
'sgr
owi
ngi
nsi
dey
ou"

YhooIcouldn'thel
pmyselfbutngamncedisau
Chwait
ahay injeIcr
ied,i
rr
espect
iveofwhat
youcannotcallachil
dint
o.

Lomzi
:"Chwai
ta"
Chwai
ta:
"hei
s..
.Fr
om .
.Congosomkhul
u"
Boniswa: "Nkosi ,whatam igoi
ngtosayku
bhuti,Ipr
omi sedhimt hathi
schil
discoming
heretostudy,,nkosenofef
e.Wathwal
izandl
a
mamabant u.

Chwai
ta:
"I'
m sor
ryt
hatIhav
edi
sappoi
nted
you"

Theyshout
edatherl
i
kenobody
'sbusi
ness.I
r
eall
yfel
tsorr
yforher
.Af
tersomet
imet
hey
wentqui
te.

Ay
andast
oodupal
lsmi
l
ey

Ayanda: "Ithinkwear ealldone, yazi Mamzo

andy ouaunt ytheol dAy andawoul dhav e
beatent hehel loutofy ouorIwoul dhav eblown
yourbr ai
nsni bebynowni -knockeresi hogweni
casy oudon' tdeser vetobei nheav en, whaty ou
didkum i tsnot hingbutwhaty oudi dkuI nga,
thepai nyouhav ecausedherf orl
ov i
ngy our
soni t
sunbear abl ebutt hrought hatshe
beli
ev esinmebutt henewAy andat hat
Mar hadebewor kedt oothandbonet omakehi m
theoney ouseer ightnowr efuset odot hatall I
will
sayi st hanky ouf ormaki ngmer ealizedthat
uThixoakandi blessanganj engomf azibutnge
soul mate, mypi l
lar, myanchorandabov eal
l
ngenyey engel
osizakhe.Andi dl
iswangwa.(I
wasnotgi venalov eporti
on)i t
sherl ovethat
tamedt hewildanimal i
nme.Fort hatI'
m proud
toannouncet hatyouareal landy ouarethe
fi
rstpeopletobei nvi
tedtoourr enewal ofvows,
i
twi l
lbeour3r dAnniversaryont he27Febr uary
nextyear".Helookedatme, hehadt earsthat
wereflowingthroughhisf ace,Iwal kedstr
aight
i
ntohisar mshebentandki ssedt hetopofmy
headandwehuggedat i
ghtone.Hel ookedat
me.

Ay
anda:"t
hankyouMar
hadebef
orbel
i
evi
ngi
n
me,Il
oveyou"
Me: "andIlov
ey out oobabah,andwhyI
wasn'tt
oldearl
ierthatwearerenewi
ngour
vowscasIhav efil
edf ordi
vor
cealr
eady"I
l
ookedathim "thanky ou"
Ay
anda:
"Ishoul
dthanky
ou"wehuggedagai
n
webrokethehuggedaf t
ersomet hi
ngparted
myleg,Il
ookeddownohoh, MissGodzill
a
waslooki
ngatus, shehadaser i
ousf aceit
wasli
keshewassay i
nghowdar eyoudon' t
i
ncl
udemekwi hugyenu, Ayandapickedherup.

Me: "happybi
rt
hdayMrGodzil
l
aandMiss
Godzil
la,Il
oveyouguy
sngol
inganay
o"
Ayanda:"t
hankyoumamakaUbenat
hi,t
he
part
ymustbegi
nitsaf
ter12nowMsi
ra,
Wara
i
ingcosi
e-Gugs"
Kamv a:"thankyou, Ihavebeenwait
ingf
or
that,ni
skenasibukel
isatheyoungandthe
restl
essaftert
hemov i
ekaWr ongt
urn1,let
's
goandf r
eshenupI nganathi
"
Ayanda:helookedatooLomzibengat
hi
bathel
wenge50lit
ersyeyogur
t"youcanst
ayi
f
youwant,okhomtuonalel
ayo
Boni
swa:
"nomay
benextt
imewewer
enot
pl
anni
ngt
ost
ay,
seni
yosal
a"

Theysaidt hei
rgoodby esandleftandthepar t
y
began.Ay andabought3pi nwheel poolsand3
watersli
dessoki dsreall
yhadf ununderour
supervi
sion, wesleepafter1am.Wer eall
yhad
funevenusadul tsatleastaft
erwest arteda
dayinabadnot ewef i
nisheditinahighnot e.

Andwehadt ocel
ebr
atemyhusband' sbir
thday
ngeKhumal o'
sdance:Dandsleptallwasl
eft
wast ost
artwit
htheprepar
ati
onsf orour
renewal.
..
..

Whilet
ypingthi
sinsertIwasl i
steningtoThina
Zungu'ssongonr epeatmay ethi"kwanqaba
umusa, ni
bonangiphil
anj euThixoakav umanga
ngempiloyami.Wat hichaangekengi vume
unyawolwakholusheleleuThixoakav umanga
ngempil
oyam.Kwakumel engi
hlushwe,
,,
,
,,
kwakumelengi
l
ingwe,kodwangobami nangazi
ukut
hiwenauyi
sphephel
osam impelanguwe
owanqabangempil
oyami..
."

Itj
ustbr
oughtbackal lthepain,
thetearsfr
om
all
thetr
ial
s,suffer
ings, t
hetestsIwent
thr
oughindeedbengav umangangempi l
oyami
cashereIam shari
ngmyst orywit
hy ou
soaki
ngmyf aceinmyAmazonr iv
er: '
(. .
.

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
17]Mca:
INSERT195

Aweekl at
er,itwasNov emberwewer e
prepar
ingforchur
ch.ItwasPaddlepop's
bapti
smaldayandYandawasof fi
cial
l
yjoi
ning
amadodana.Iwasr eal
lyproudofmyGodzilla
i
rr
espect
iveofwhat,
henevermi
ssedhi
s
meeti
ngsaft
eraqhoboshi
we.Wewereget
ti
ng
dr
essed.

Ayanda: "bhabhapleasehelpmewit
hmytie"I
al
way sdoAy anda'sti
e, I
'
m sur
eyouare
wonderingasinwhatki ndofamanwhocan't
doat i
e,youwillknowsoon.

Me: "YandapleasedoyourtieMtungwa, I
'
m
sti
ll
busywi t
hmsGodzi l
lahere"r
eallyUbenat
hi
wasgivi
ngmehar dt
ime, shewassupposet o
wearallwhit
ebutshewasbusyt hrowing
tant
rumsmnanj eIdidn'
thaveti
me.Wewer e
gett
inglat
e

Me:
"got
oyourdad!
!Wandi
j
amel
a
Me:
"ndi
kukhabekemnaUbenat
hi!
!
Ayanda:"l
eav
eherbhabha,
Iwi
l
ltakecar
eof
her,hel
pmeherepl
ease"
Me: "Hay
i Ayanda!
!Fi
xyourt
iepl
ease,
wear
e
get
ti
nglate!!

Ayanda:"bhabha,
takeadeepbr
eat
h,we
won'tbel
ate"
Me:
"howcomey
oucan'
tfi
xat
ie"
Ayanda:"Ineverwor
eat i
ebef
ore,
youknow
nawefikekungekhot
ieapha"
Me:
"whataboutwheny
ouwer
est
il
lschool
i
ng
"
Ayanda:"hay
ibhabhay
int
oyocheeseboyl
eyo
notforme"

Amenbutonaseriousnot
eYandahadsuit
sbut
thef
ir
stt
ieheboughtwastheonehebought
whenweweregoingtoArabel
l
ainKl
eimond.I
f
ixedhist
ieandhef
oundawayofget
ti
ngtohi
s
missGodzil
l
a.Hedr
essedher,
Wewereabout
t
ol eav
e

Ay
anda:
"bhabha,
howdoIl
ook?
"
Me":
youl
ookl
i
keGodzi
l
la"
Ayanda:"heywenabhabha, andi
yont angakho"
heheldmywaistandbroughtmecl oser, he
hel
dmychi nup.Youknowu- Si
nenhlanhlake
whensheisnexttohisPri
ncecharmi ngv el
e
kumkenalovoi
ceihl
elii
ngekho.

Me: "youlookli
keut
ataka-Ubenat
hi,
youlook
l
ikeidodanaalr
eady,
I'
mv erypr
oudofyou
Ndlovu"
Ayanda:"youmustbeproudofyoursel
f
Marhadebe,I
'm whoIam t
odaybecauseofy
ou
"
Me:
"ar
ggggmaar
nbhabha,
youdi
dity
our
sel
f
"

Wel eftf
orchur chandt heser vi
cewenton,
i
ndeedmyPaddl ewasbapt i
zedandmy
husbandwanxi t
y waasi dodana.Af terthe
servi
ce, Iwast ryingtof eedUbenat hi
bengiphonsangokudl aebusweni ,ayhhii nje
i
nganey ami di
dn'tlikemeat all
bengi mshay ala
ezadleni,don'tthinkbengi yekil
enay e,Ay anda
wasi nabr iefmeet i
ngwi t
hot hersbebej oina
ubudodanaandt heelder s,onel adycamet o
mei nhermi dtolate30sIwasn' tsur et henbut
onet hi
ngf orsureshewasbeaut if
ul and
dressedsodecent .

Sisi
:"hel
l
owsana,
whyar
eyouf
ight
ingni
bahl
e
kangaka"
Me:
"ify
oucal
lthi
sbeaut
if
ulsi
sit
henIf
eel
beaut
if
ul"
Si
si:
"whyar
eyouf
ight
ing?
"
Me:"I'
mt r
yingt
ofeedherbutasy
oucansee
shei
sfeedi
ngmyf ace"
Shel
aughed

Me: "whyareyoul
aughi
ngsi
si,
def
ini
tel
yI
needhelpher
e"Ismiled
Si
si:
"canIbehonest"
Me:
"shoot"
Sisi
:"youseem cluel
essnawekodwano-
wondersheisdoingwhatsheisdoi
ng,
doyou
haveahelper"
Me: "what
'st
hat,myhusbandwi
l
lki
l
lyoui
f
youcanmenti
onthat"
Si
si:
"thenwhoi
slooki
ngaf
terher"
Me:
"hedoes"
Si
si:
"yourhusband?
"
Me:
"yes"
Sisi
:"t
hen,youareonel
uckyl
ady
,hei
sfor
keepst
rustmetheyar
efew"

Ismi
l
ed.

Si
si:"I
'
m suchar
udeol
dlady,
wher
ear
emy
manner
s"
Me: "i
fthisi
soldIwannaf astf
orwardmylif
e
andgetold"shewasr eal
l
ybeaut i
ful
,
owasekheniakabuzwamossmuzwal a-
oli
mini
mayekhuluma.

Si
si:
"byt
heway,
I'
m Li
zi
weNodada"
Me:"thatexpl
ainedi
t,t
hewayy
out
alk,
I'
m
I
nganathi
Khumal o"
Si
sLi
zzy:
"yourbi
rt
hnameormar
it
alname"
Me:"ei
shhsisi
sometimesIdofor
getmyreal
nameyouknow, I
'
m surey
ouknow bet
ter"
SisLi
zzy: "unfor
tunatelyIdon'
tsana,IwishI
knew"shesmi l
ed, t
her ewassomethingabout
hersmile,itwassowar m andyoucouldsee
andfeelthatitwasagenui nesmilecoming
deepfrom herheart.Ireal
lyfel
tsocomfortabl
e
withher.

Me:"I'
m Si
nenhl
anhl
aRhadebebutnow
I
nganat
hiKhumal
o"Ismil
ed

Hestr
etchedherhandt
oshakemi
nebutmine
wasamess, Ishowedhermi
nest
hatdon'
t
dar
e.Shesmiled.

Me:
"Ify
oust
il
ll
ovey
ourcl
utchbagt
henst
ay
asf
araspossi
blef
rom myhandsi
si"
SisLizzy:
"Ihavebeentaki
ngcar
eofki
ds,I
knowhowt heygetmessyandbythewayI
'
ma
rural
woman"
Me:"howmanydoyouhaveandcanIgivey
ou
mi
neIwil
lcomeandtakeherwhenshei
s10"
SisLi
zzy:hel
aughedhar
d"nonesweethear
t,I
havebeent
aki
ngcareofmyl
it
tl
esist
ers"

Ilookedather, y
hooatherageabe
akanangane,Iwonder edwhywor seshewasso
beautif
ulandhumbl e.Ismi l
edtomy sel
f,I
thoughtofmyl ovi
ngbr otherinl
awwhohasnot
beenluckywithladiesmay beshewast hesoul
mat ehehasbeenwai t
ingfor.Iwasgoingtotr
y
themat chmaket henifingenzekikekubei
twas
notmeantt obe.
Si
sLizzy:
"Inganat
hi!
!Isnapped"whyar
eyou
smil
i
ngatmeungandiphenduli?
"
Me:
"I'
m sor
rysi
si,
whatwasy
ourquest
ion"
SisLi
zzy:
"Iwasaski
ngngubani
igamal
ale
angel"
Me:
"Ubenat
hi-Lungako"
Ayanda:"beaut
iful
namesaf ananomni
kazi
waloandherparents,
your eal
l
yareabeaut
if
ul
coupl
e,Ihavebeenwat chi
ngyoungeSunday"
Me: "t
hankyousisi
,ungu-Nodadaf
rom where
si
sicastheNodada'sIknowareinMatat
iel
e"

Shesmi
l
ed

Si
sLi
zzy:
"howdoy
ouknowMat
ati
ele?
"
Me: "I
'
mfrom Mat
ati
ele(It
oldheri
l
ali
yami
)
butIgr
ewupinKokst
ad"
SisLizzy: shewassoexci t
ed"nowonderIf el
l
i
nlov ewithy out
hef i
rstday,youaremyHomey
,I'
mf r
om Mal ut
i(het oldmewhereexactl
yin
Mal uti
)whaawwpl easegivemey ournumber,
I
woul dlovetoknowy oubet t
er"okhayikei
twas
goingt obeeasyt odot hematchmaking.Igav
e
hermynumberandshegav emeher s.

Wechatt
edabitIt
oldherwhereIwasworking
doi
ngwhatandapparent
lyshewasateacher
andst
ayi
ngatEest
erivi
er.

Me:"areyoubusyfol
l
owingSat
urday,
Iwant
t
oinv
iteyouforl
unchinmyhome"
SisLizzy:"andyourhusband,
akazubanankinge"
Me:
"nosi
si,
notat
all
"
Si
sLi
zzy:
"thenSati
tis"
Me:
"wi
l
lsmsy
out
hedi
rect
ionsonFr
iday
"

Si
sLizzy:
"thanksInga,Imusttakemyleave
nowmyangel ,
takecareandpleasedon'
tfi
ght
noUbenat
hi"shesmi l
ed
Me:
"by
esi
si"

Yandacameaft
erwhatseem t
obeadecade,
wedrovehome.

Me: "bhabha,
Ithi
nkIf
oundawi
fef
or
babomdala"
Ayanda:"whi
choneexact
lykwabababomdal
a
bakho"
Me:
"Ndumi
e"

YhoooAy
andar
eal
l
ylaughedatme,
thewayhe
l
aughedatmemademef
eel
li
keaf
ool
.

Ayanda:"sor
rybhabhabutNdumi
e??
?Youar
e
notser
ious"
Me:
"Iam bhabha"
Ayanda:"thelastt
imeIcheckedyoumustf i
rst
haveagir
lf
riendbefor
eyouhav eawife
,Ndumisostruggl
esinfi
ndi
ngagi r
lfr
iendhow
muchmor ewi t
hgetti
ngawife.
Me:"j
ustwatchthespacebhabhaandsheis
mor
ebeauti
fult
hanyourwifedon'
tbejeal
ous"
Ayanda:"t
rustmebhabha,
ther
eisnowoman
whoisbeauti
ful
thanmywife"
Me: "youwil
lseeke,Iinv
itedherforl
unch
nextSatur
day,Ihopeyoudon'tmind"
Ayanda:"nobhabhai
tsyourhouset
ooasl
ong
assheisnotanAsachar
acter"
Me:
"ohhhYandapl
ease"
Ay
anda:"I
'
m bei
nghonest,
yout
endt
oat
tract
wr
ongcompany"
Me:
"li
key
oubhabha"

Ayanda:"heywenabhabha,
sugezat
het
ha
nedodanangokunotathug"

Igi
ggl
ed.

OnSat urdaywewer eupandpr epari

ngforlunch.
Iaskedoobabomdal atodisappearhhawuphel a
bebenamagi r
lfr
iendnobabomncane
(Ndiyabonga)phel a.Aft
er2ther ewasabuzzi n
thegateIanswer edandopenedf orher,Iwent
toopent hedoor .Ihuggedherandl edherto
thediningwher eoo-Ayandawer e.Shegreeted
andtheygr eetedback, Ii
ntr
oducedherwehad
awar m conversati
onoverlunch,itwasnot
awkwardasIt houghtitwouldIguessi tsoneof
theadvantagesofbeenwi thadults.Aft
erwe
weredoneIcl earedthetabl
e, sheoffer
edto
helpbutItoldherIwasf i
ne.

Me:"Yanda,
pleasecomeandhel
pmewi
th
t
hedesser
t"
Ayanda:"nobhabha,I
'
mt ir
ed, youmademe
cookwhil
euwer e-
busyundiphekangendaba
ngathi
yaphekakant
iupheki
samnandedwa"
Me: "bhabhadon'tbeababycome"Imadea
l
ookt hatsayhel
amot hogi
velababant
usome
spacehhabe.

Ay
anda:
"FI
NE!
!"
Me: "comegrumpy"hefoll
owedmetothe
ki
tchen,IdoubtooNdumi
ehearduswhatev
er
theyweretalki
ngaboutmakubei bibangaumdl a
castheywer eal
l smileyandgiggl
ing.Wehad
dessertaft
er5si sLizzyaskedmet odr opher
atBaysideherli
ttlesist
erwasgoingt opickher
ther
e,sinceshewasusi ngher(sisLizzy)car
butbabomdal ajumpedi nandanswer edbef or
e
Icouldanswer

Ndumi e:"noLizzy,don'
tworryIwil
ldropyou
athomey oudon'thavetobotheryoursist
er"
heeeewel ookedateachothernoYandaand
smiledat'LI
ZZY'bencumeubabaomdal ayou
wouldswearhewasa16y earol
dboyebanj we
yi
-cr
ush.

Si
sLi
zzy:
"ar
eyousur
e"
Ndumi
e:"i
tst
hel
eastIcando"
Si
sLizzy:"wel
li
nthatcaselet
'sgo,Ayanda,
I
nganathi
thankyouf
orinvi
ti
ngmet oyour
homehopet
oseey
ousomet
ime"
Me:"thanxf
oraccepti
ngouri
nvi
tat
ionnawe
si
s,l
et'
shopewewilldothi
sagai
nsoon"

Shesai dgoodbyes, Icoul dn'twaitf

or
babomdal atocomebackandt ell
mehowdi dit
go, heseem toli
keherandsheseem t oli
ke
himt oo,Iwassopr ayingkut hikantishewas
theonephelaitwashur t
ingi ndabay akhe,he
wassuchasweet ,l
ov i
ng, caringandhumbl e
soul whowasjustnotsol uckyi nwomen.Af t
er
whatseem t obe2decadehecameback, he
walkedinIstoodupi nexci tement .

Me: "andbabomdala,howdiditgo,
doyou
l
ikeher,doesshel
ikeher,khul
umahle"he
keptquit
e
Me:
"babomdal
ahl
ekhul
uma"
Ndumi e:"Isowi sh, youcanst oppoki ngyour
noseinot herpeople'
sbusi nessesy azi it
s
i
rri
tati
ng,andI '
m noty ourchildthaty oucan
mat chmakeSi manysi v ene"beshintshel a
ebsweni yhoo,heleftmest andingthere
bengidanengimanzi teee, t
hat'sonesoul Idon'
t
wannahur tubabomdal a.IlookedatYandahe
shruggedhi sshoulders.Icouldf eeltears
thr
eateningmyey es

Ay
anda:
"comeher
e"

IwenttoAyandaandburiedmyfaceonhis
chestIwassoheart
broken,Iwasjustt
ryi
ngt
o
hel
p:(..
.

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
18]Mca:
INSERT196

Babomdalacamebackfrom t
heki
tchenwit
ha
bott
leofst
il
lwater,
hesatdownandkeptquit
e.
OoMsirawalkedi
nlaughi
ngandmakinglotof
noi
se.

Ndiy
a:"mol
weni
"hegr
eet
edandwegr
eet
ed
back

Ndiya:"si
sihowdi ditgo?"Ididn'tanswerno
onedid,IwasstillonYandaschest ,okyall
knowthatNdiyai sy oungerthanAy andabut
oldert
hanmeabout5t o6y ear
sbuty ouknow
withXhosa'
sev ent houghhewasol dert hanme
butIwasmar r
iedt ohi solderbrot
hert hat
makesmehi ssi si:)
Mawande:
"whati
sgoi
ngonher
e,wher
eis
Li
zi
we?
,whyi
sInganat
hicr
ying"
Me:
"I'
m notcr
yingbabomdal
a"
Msir
a:"thenwhyar
eyout hi
ssad,whenwe
l
efther
eyouweresoexci
tedwhatwentwrong?
"

Ndumi e:"ohhsoev
ery
oneknewaboutt
his
exceptforme?"
Mawande:
"whati
sgoi
ngonkant
i?"

Ay
andat
oldt
hem

Mawande:"Idon'
tseeanyt
hingwrongt
hat
l
ast
borndi
dunlessyougaysani"
Ndumi
e:"t
hat
'sbul
l,ubonai
stabaneaphakum?
"
Mawande:
"thenwhati
swr
ongwi
thy
ou,
did
youhav
etobi
tel
ast
bor
n'sheadf
ort
ryi
ngt
o
hel
pyou"

Ndumie:"yaphapha,
shemustmi
ndherown
busi
ness"
Me: "I'
m sor r
ybabomdal af
orpokingmynose
i
ny ourbusiness, I
'm deepl
ysorr
y, it
ssimple
thatIgottooexcitedwhenImether, shewas
sohumbl elikeyouandsodownt oear t
h,I
thoughtyouwoul dlikeher,
I'
m sorryhleas
from t
odayIwi ll
stayaway"

Yhooooaninai
deahowhur tIwas,Icanupset
al
ltheKhumalosbutnotubabomdal '
uNdumie,
hehasdonesomuchf orme, hewasther
e, he
l
ovedmef rom dayonehesawmewhi chwas
onthedayofmyweddi ng,theAmazonr i
ver
i
biseyi
qal
authelel
a.
Ndumie:"don'tst
art,
Iwi
llwi
pethoset
ear
s
ngempama, comehere"hesmil
edabroad
smil
e

Me: "noI
'm okbabomdal
a,agai
nI'
mr eal
l
y
sor
ry"yoooowaskewamamat hekaumuntu.
Ndumie:"l
etmebehonestwi thyoumi ss
matchmaker,Idon'
tl
ikeherbutI'
mi nl
ovewi
th
her,YESIl
oveherandIthinkshelov
esmet .
..
."
Iscr
eamedinexcit
ement,Iwenttohughim

Me:
"thedet
ail
sbabomdal
a"
Ndumie:"Ayanda,t
alkt
oyourwif
e,
andi
ngomfazinorgayIdon'
tdodetai
l
s"
Ayanda:"y
ouareonyourownbhutii
nthi
sone
youknowbhabhawon'
tlety
ouoffhookso
easi
ly"
Me:
"hhabeIwannaknowev
erydet
ail
the
minut
eyoulef
ther
euptot
hepoi
ntwher
eyou
dr
opheratherpl
a..
..
"

Iwasinter
rupt
edbybabomdal
a'sf
one.He
ayancumaindoda.

Ndumi e: "maNdlel
a,,
,,
,ndif
ikil
esbhekuza, ,
,
,,
,
l
etmef oneyouaf t
er10minutes, l
etakal
ane
yasekhayandiyi
thandayoisplay i
ngdetecti
veon
me,,,
,t
akecar eofyourselfthere,
,,
,Iwil
ltoo,
t
alktoy ousoon"hehungup.

Me:
"weeeeeee,
babomdal
aisbl
ushi
ng"
Ndumi
e:"Si
many
e!!
!amandoesn'
tbl
ush"
Me: "hedoeswhenheisi
nlovebabomdal
a,
doesthatmeanyouandsi
sLizzyare.
.Imean,
aredati
ng"
Ndumi
e:"I
nganat
hi,
Iwon'
tdi
scusst
hatwi
th
y
ou,
letgoal
ready"
Me:
"Iwon'
tunt
ily
out
ell
me"

Ndumie:
"Yer
rAy
anda,
wamf
umanaphi
l
omtana?"
Me: "I
'mfrom t
hattowny ouknow,,
,thatsmall
town,wit
hbeautif
ulladi
es,theonethatsisi
Lizzyi
sfr
om ,doyouwannaknowmor e"
Ndumi
e:"Igi
veup"

Wespendt heremaini
ngdaysonke,chat
ti
ng,
l
aughingandteasingoneanot
herunti
lwewent
oursepar
ateway ssiy
olal
a.

Duri
ngtheweekar ecei
vedacal lf
rom the
Depart
mentofhealth,t
heywer einvit
ingmefor
anint
ervi
ew.I
tsthepostt hatIsaw3mont hs
backonDPSAandIappl iedforit,Ial
sohad
anotherinter
viewbengi zoyakuyokwaNampak,
theinterv
iewsf orNampakwer egoingt
obein
CapeTownbutumsebenzi buseJohannesbur
g
, Idi
dn'tmindev enifIdidn'
tgettheonefr
om
depofheal thbuttheNampakoneIwasso
desperateforit.

SoIwentf ort heinterv

iews, Iwasj ustwait
ing
forthei
rresponse.I twast heweekendbesi ya
ngay okwibirthdaykababaandt herewasal so
goingtobeawel comingkaNdi yaasaKhumal o.
Sowel ef
tonThur sdaymor ning, i
twasgoi ng
tobeNdi ya'scer emonyonFr idaythenbaba' s
bir
thdayonSat urday.I
nter msofAf r
icanbeer
andev eryt
hing, i
twasal lsor t
edsinceusi si
Zodwawast heretohelpmakhul u.

Sowearri
vedaf
ter3pm andwehel
phereand
ther
esi
nceever
ythi
ngwasinorder
.Fol
l
owing
daywewer ebusypr eparingf orthedayand
Paddlepopwasbusyr unni ngaroundIguess
nganey ami bi
valelekileinCapeTownbehi nd
thosetallwallbengasi nakileatall.Thepr obl
em
start
edwhenIwentt ogivechi ckst hei
rfood
andwat er,hay i
keingani y ami didn'twanna
l
eav ethecoop, i
twasasmal lshackt hatwas
madef orchickensmor eespeci althosewith
chicks.

Me:
"Ubenat
hi,
let
'sgo"
Ubenat
hi:"No"inganeyami i
binal
oNo,
i
bingaf
uni
nixngayeIdon'tknowy ayi
muzwe
kuphi
Me:
"Ubenat
hi,
let
'sGo!
!,nzakubet
hamna!
!"
Ubenathi:"petaNina(Inga)
"ndancamangane
yam doesn'twannacall
memom /mamaandi t
hur
tscaskubabakhe, shewouldsaytata/baba
andNana( Yanda)may evukwekukusakwakwa
Khumal o"tanaNina"(
babi
es)Idon'
tblame
hertheywer er
eall
ycut
eandsosmall,
mor e
especial
lytheyel
l
owandwhiteoneswhenthey
aresti
llyoung
Me:"thesear
enotbabi
esUbenat
hi,
thi
sar
e
Chi
cks"
Ubenat
hi:
"tanaNi
na"amen
Me:
"Ubenat
hi!
!"
Ubenathi
:"NoNINA!!"Waskewandijamel
aok,
Iwasleavi
ng,bezi
zomthol
ainkukhu
ngamantshont
shoazo.

Aftersomet i
meAyandacamet otheki
tchen
youknowmyhusbandngot ef
a, hewanted
foodf unnypar
tot
herpeopl
e(men)wer eeati
ng
esbay eni
.Imadehimfoodandhest ar
ted
eating.
Ay
anda:
"bhabha,
wher
eisPaddl
epop"
Kamva:"Ihav
en'
tseenheri
nageswher
eis
shev
ele?"
Me:
"int
hechi
ckencoop"
Ay
anda:
"doi
ngwhatt
her
ewi
thwho!
!!
"
Me:
"al
one"

Ay anda:"Al
one,arey
oufuckencr
azy
Inganathi
,whati
fshei
sbeenpeckedbyt
hose
chickens??"
Me: "whatwasIsupposet
odo,
shedi
dn'
t
wannaleavet
hecoop"

Ayanda:"zawuny anjeI
nganathi
ifumt anam
uxhodzwe(pecked)zezankukhu,i
fuy akuhl
ula
umtanam yi
tshoIngaakandohlul
i,nxaaa"he
pushedthechairsayowel
alee.Ndiyacamei n
wit
hUbenathiwhowascr yi
ngontopofher
l
ungs,
herdadgav
emeadeat
hlookmf
xmmm.

Ndiy
a: "hayibhutitakeyourchi
ld,shehas
beeneatingchickenlit
terbef
oretheypecked
herforchasi
ngt hei
rchicks"

Ayanda:"Chi
ckenl
it
ter
!!
!hay
iUbenathi
"she
hadsomeinherhandandemlomeni,
het ook
herfr
om Ndiy
aandcalmedher

Ayanda:"l
umil
ewenainkukhumt
anam(t
he
chi
ckenhadpeckedy
ou)"
Ubenat
hi:"y
umiyeNanaapa"shepoint
ed
whereshewaspeckedbyt
hechicken

Me:"
itser
vedy
ouwel
lforshout
ingme"
Ay
anda:
"khawut
hul
eInga"
Me: "hay
ijustl
eav
emeal
one,
yourdaught
er
shoutedme"

Ay
anda: "ahaaaaaaUbenathiyerr
r,gotoy
our
mother,
howcany oueatchickenli
tt
er"
Ubenat
hi:
"tanaNana"
Ayanda:"tanat
anamyassUbenat
hi,
dlana
nekakangoku"

Oktomydaught
erev
ery
thi
ngwi
thKnguki
ss,
ki
ss

Ubenat
hi:
"issi
ss(ki
ss,
kiss)Nana"
Ay
anda:
"noUbenat
higot
oNi
na,
KissKi
ss
Ni
na"
Me:
"ndakubet
ha"
Ubenat
hi:
"apet
aNi
na"shesul
ked
Ayanda:"yerr
r,kuy oyonkeint
obunoyif
uza
kul
omamakhoay i
khoeny engaphandl
e
kokwenzalemikhubakamamakho, comekiss,
ki
ss"ohhmydaught erl
oveskisski
ss,she
cuppedAyandaf acewi t
hhersmal l
handsand
ki
ssedhim, t
hel ooki nAyanda'sf
acewasout
ofthi
sworld.

Webursti
nlaught
ernoKamva.AllIcoul
ddo
wast
oi magi
nethesmel
lfr
om thatmouth

Ayanda:"yer
r,comesothatIcanr
insey
our
mouth"hewentoutwi
thPaddlepopandcame
backesegezi
we.

Thedaywentwel lunt
ilthebedt i
measwewer e
aboutt
osleepdaddy'sPr incessstar
ted
demandingforherbabies(chicks).Hayinj
e
minabengingazi
ngeniIlettheKhumal o'
ssort
theirshi
t,Iwast i
red,Iwant edtosleepandI
wassonotgoi ngtosleepwi thachickinbed,
Ayandahadt ogot othecoopandst eal
one
chickfrom it
smot her(chicken),shekeptqui
te
andst art
edpl ayi
ngwi thit,i
si ar
am se-chi
ck
want edtosleepbutont hatnightitwasadoll
forUbenat hihertoystookabr eak.

Ayanda:"youarenotgoi ngt
osleepandleave
mealonewi t
hthi
s,Inganathi
casIdon'tknowif
Iwon'tbeaskedforchickenl
it
ternext"
Me: "youar
eonyourownbhabha"Isai
dthat
cov
er i
ngmysel
fwi
thablanket
Ay anda:"bhabhapleasemf aziwam Iwi
l
l do
anyt hi
ng,Iwil
lbuyany t
hingyouwantifyou
staywithme, youknowIcan' tsaynokuPaddle
popandwenay akwaziumgxol i
sa"
Me:"ohhsowenay
ouwannabeMrgoodand
mi
naImustbeMrsFer
ret"
Ay
anda:
"pl
easemf
azi
wam "
Me:
"fi
ney
hoo,
youoweme"
Ayanda:"bigt
ime"wewat chedherplayi
ng,
real
lyhowdoyoumakeacof f
eeforachickbut
shemadeitandaboveal lourangelmade
us(daddyandmommy )coffeetooat11pm.We
hadtosipumoya.Shefinall
ysleptandAyanda
tookbackthet
ir
edchickandcameback.He
gotinbedandcuddl
edmef rom behind

Ay
anda:
"ki
ss,
kissNi
na"
Me:"chababahangi
cabanginjeowakho
uml
omonoPaddl epopngiy
ayibonganje"
Ayanda:"udaki
weI
'
m notsl
eepi
ngwi
thoutmy
goodnit
ekiss"
Hetur
nedmeandti
ckl
edme,
Iscr
eamedand
l
aughi
ngatt
hesameti
me.
Ayanda: "bhabha,y
ouaregoingtowake
PaddlepopandIam notgoingtothecoop
again"wekissedapassi
onateoneandcuddl
ed
tosleep.Shamewhoev erowathiukuzal
a
kukuzolul
aIdoubtshehadachild..
.

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
18]Mca:
INSERT197

Foll
owingdaywewokeupbat hed, Ayanda
bathedPaddl epopandbengat hiukhohl i
we
abouther'tanas'(babies)chicksandt hansGod
thethoughtofPaddl epopplay ingwi t
hachi ck
andlaterwheni t
sol dwewi lleati treal
lymade
mewannaqui teatingchicken.Whenwewer e
donewewal kedtoendl i
nienkul uwemetubaba
egcekeniwhowasf eedi
ngchi cken.Wegr eet
ed
andhegr eetedbacksoAy andal eftwit
hbaba, I
walkedwithPaddl epopt hepr obl em start
ed
whenshesawachi ckenrunningtowardsus,
yhoomychildscr
eamedIguessshe
rememberedwhatitdidt
ohery ester
dayeven
thoughi
twasnottheonet hatpeckedher.She
heldmyleg.

Ubenat
hi:
"that
haNana, asabatanaal
uma
(pi
ckmeNana,I'
m scar
edoft hechi
ckeni
ts
goi
ngtopeckme)
Me: "he.eeeletgoofmeasabanami "Ir
an
andleftherthere,shamemybabyt ri
edt orun
butI'
m surebecauseoft hef
earandt earsi
nthe
eyesshedi dn'
tseewellshetri
ppedandf el
l,
shescreamedl ikether
ewasnot omor row,
Ayandar antoherbengiphel
i
leinsi
ni.

Ayanda:
"fokofI
ngayakwenzaukuny
ayazi
,
whyareyoudoi
ngthi
s?"
Me:
"kusemakhay
alababa,
shewi
l
lbest
rong
i
tsnotthatit
sgoingtopeckher,shemust
knowthatchickenspeck,I
'
mt ir
edofstayi
ng
wit
hchickscacubangizol
alanazoandu-
Ubenat
hi i
sachi l
dnotaneggzangimoshel
a
i
nganeYanda"hepi ckedupasmal lst
oneand
thr
ewittome.

Ayanda:
"youar
esuchami
niSat
an"Iwentt
o
them
Me:
"Ki
sski
ssnana"
Ubenat
hi:"noNana, ashiy
il
ewena"shame
shewasholdingonYandal i
ketherewasno
tomorr
ow, t
hatchi
ckenmusthav etr
aumat ized
mychil
d,shehadhi ccups,i
nawayIf eltguilt
y,
i
twaswor sewhenshesai dndimshiyi
le.Iwas
fool
i
ngaroundbutItwasnotf unnyatallngoku.

Me:"koy
eyealokuMakhumal
o"(forgi
veme
myAngel,mommywillnev
erl
eav
ey ouagai
n"I
coul
dfeelt
ear
sthreat
eni
ngmyeyes,wegotto
thehouse,
wegreetedpeopl
ewhoweret
here.

Makhul
u:"whathappenedkwezi
zi
li
mazakho
Ay
andangathi
ziy
ali
lanje"
Ayandatoldthem , yhooPaddlepop'
suncles
spokeonce,tell
ingmeI '
m somean,howcouldI
dothattotheirPrincess,haaatheywereall
shouti
ngme, Ij
oi nedPaddlepopandcried,
wellIf
eltbadmy selfbutshout
ingmeli
kethat
haaa.Ubenathi cameandgoti nbetweenmy
l
egs.

Ubenat
hi:"i
ssi
ssNina,al
i
laNi
na,
"(Ki
ss,
Ki
ssInga,
Ingai
scr
ying)

Icuppedherfaceandkissedher.Ayandaand
Ndiyawenttopickbaba'scakes,(weorder
ed4,
i
nr uralareasev eryonei si nvitedwedi dn't
wannabeaccusedofunci shaabant ui -
cake)in
Queenst ownandt hepar tyst artedshamebaba
washappyal l hi
ssonswer ether ethe6oft hem
from t hef i
rstbornt othel astbor n.Hi stwo
daught ers-in-law, his3gr andchildren, hi
s
mot her,hisbrothersandhi stwosi sterexcept
forhi swi feofwhi chitdidn' tmakeany
differencemay beshewasgoi ngtor uin
ev erything.Shewasi nvitedbutshedeci dednot
tocome.Thepar tywentwel l, foll
owi ngday ,
wewer eleaving,wepr ay edandsai dgoodby es.

Rememberpaddl epopbathenjiswengumkhul u
thatshewasgoingt ogetapupi ndeedshewas
givenapup, Ir
efusedatfi
rstbutIdidn'twinso
wecamebackwi th2pups, onef orPaddlepop
andonef orI
ndy, Keaal
sogothi s.Minanje
anginaboububelebuworseobezilo. Xhant i
waswi thKeaandKamv abutt heywer eheading
toPret
ori
a.Ayanda,me,Ndiy
a, Paddl
epop
andIndyt
henNdumi,Msir
aandMawande.We
arr
ivedaft
er6t
henitwasbusi
nessasusual
.

Fol
lowi ngdayAy andahadt ogoandbuy
doghouse, i
tsfoodandhenamedi tasTiny,i
t
wassosmal lbutcute.Umnikaziwayolovedi
t
wheni twasf arfrom hert
hemi nut
eitgot
cl
osershewi l
lscream minanjebengif
una
uphisangay o.Iwast i
redofPaddlepop
nomsindowakhebutwhatchoi cedidIhavecas
Ayandal ovedittoo.

Ont he9thofDecemberwhenIgothomet her

e
werelettersthatwereontopoft hekit
chen
counter,most lywereaccountlet
ter
sandt he
otheronewasf rom Nampak.Iputmybagon
thecount erandwentt osi
tdownIr eaditandit
hadnot hingbutgoodnews.Ir anupstai
rsand
Yandawasinnur
ser
yonhi
slapt
opPaddl
epop
wassleepi
ng

Me: "Yanda,
lookwhogotl
ucky"Iwasso
exci
ted
Ayanda: "shhhhh,come, youwill
wakePaddle
pop, Ikissedhischeekandhet ookmyhand
andledmet othemainbedroom.Igav ehim
theenv elopandhet ookoutthelet
tert
hatwas
i
nsideandr eaditaf
terhewasdonehet ossedi
t
i
nt hebed.

Ay
anda:"sowhatmustIdowit
hthi
s,y
ouhave
madeyourmi
ndandi
thisowhatdoy
ouwant
metosay"
Me: "tobehappyf
orme,
youknowhowmuch
Ineededthi
s"
Ay
anda:
"happyf
orwhatI
nganat
hihappyt
hat
y
ouar
eleav
ingus,
meandPaddlepop,mustI
j
umpupanddownormustIcel
ebr
ate"
Me: "Idi
dn'
tsayyoumustcel ebr
ate,butbe
happy,andthepackagei swaybetterthan
whereI'
m worki
ngnott hatI'
m complai
ningbut
i
twillmakeahugedifference"
Ay
anda:
"kubani
Exact
ly?usory
oursal
ary
?"
Me:
"tomysal
ary"
Ayanda: "ohhh!!
!toyouthisi
sallaboutmoney,
Money!!!Inganathiwhataboutuswhatabout
ourchi
ldandwhataboutourmar ri
age? "
Me: "i
tsnotl
ikeI
'm goingoverseas,
Iwi
l
l bein
Joburga2hourfl
i
ghty oucancomeandvisitus
oryoucancomewi t
hus"

Ayanda: "whatdoyoumeanus, US!

!!My
fuckenchil
disnotgoi
ngwithyoushewil
lst
ay
herewithmewenai fyouwannachasemoney
goInganat
hiGO,
whichmeanst
hismar
ri
age
nev
ermeantanythi
ngtoy
ou"
Me: "youknowexactl
yhowmuchdoest hi
s
marri
agemeantome, youarejustbei
ngunf ai
r,
Iwannahaveevery
thi
ngl i
keyouAy anda, y
ou
haveworkedhar
df oreveryt
hingthatyouhav e
her
eIwannadot hesame"
Ayanda: "whosaidweneedmoneyInganat
hi,
tel
lme, didIsaywearebrokeormy
businessesarebankr
upt,
didI?"
Me: "nobutsomewhereIneedtobe
i
ndependentnamiandstoprel
yi
ngonyou
f
inancial
?"
Ayanda: "orsuddenl
yy oudon'tneedmy
money, whichmeanst hereissomeonewhois
goi
ngtot akecareofyoui nJoburgthati
swhy
youdon'tneedmymoneyany more,whoishe
I
nganathi "
Me:
"noonebhabha,
justdon'
ttaket
his
per
sonal
thi
sisnotabouty
oui
tsaboutme"
Ayanda:"ohhh,sot
hisi
sabouty
ounownotus
,aren'
twemar r
iedI
nganat
hi,
whatar
eyou
tr
yingt
otellme"
Ayanda:
"thatIneedy
ourbl
essi
ngs,namiI
wannabeli
keyoubhabha,y
ouhaveever
ythi
ng
whycan'
tIdothesame"
Ayanda: "Ihavenot hingInganat hi ,
Ihav e
nothi
ng, evenso, I
'm notsuppor tingy ou
fi
nanci
allybecauseIwanty out of eel smal lkum
i
tsbecauseIf eel it
samustt hatIneedt otake
careofmywi fe.Idon' twanty out ost ressabout
moneyaboutwor ki
nghar dI'
mt heonewho
supposet o.Lomzi workedsohar desebenza
emizi
ni y
abantu, someusi ngherj usttof eedus
sothatwedi dn'tgot obedonempt yst omachs
casmyf atherfailedtotakecar eofhert otake
careofusIdon' twantt hattohappent omy
wif
eandmyki ds, i
fitwasf orme, y
ouwoul dn'
t
bewor ki
ngbutIr especty ou, yourchoi cesbut
thedayy ouwi llcomebackf rom wor kandsayi t
wasy ourlastdayIwon' taskwhy .Idon'twant
youtobeahousewi febutIwanty out obemy
queen.Thisev ery thi
ngual way sscream about ,
i
tistimey ouknowt het ruthI '
m notj okingwhen
IsayIhav enot hingt heonl yt hingthatIhav e
undermynamear emycl othesandmycar s,
andthemoneyt hati sinmyper sonal account sI
havenothingI nganat hi"her emov edapor tr
ait
thatwasont hewal l,Inev erlikeditandIhav e
askedYandasev erall
yt i
mest otakei toffand
selli
t,i
twasabl ackandwhi tekindaadr awi ng
withmenwhoseemedl i
kesl aves, evenifther e
couldbeabr eaki n,inourhomet heywi ll
nev er
takeit
,ayinikimdl aat allbutt heper sonwho
boughtitbengazwi l
engay o.Her emov editandI
almostcollapsed, behi ndi twasasaf eInever
knewabout ,Imeani twasal most4y ears
stayi
ngint hishousebutIdi dn'tknowabouti t
thequestionwashowmanyt hingsIdi dn'tknow
aboutinthehouseIcal l
edmi ne.Heopenedi t
andtookoutsomedocument
shet
ossedt
hem
onthebed.

Me:
"whatmustIdoaboutt
hesepaper
s"
Ayanda:"youar
eeducatedandit
hi,
readt
hem
whenyouaredoneputthem back,
ndi
sayobet
hwangumoya"

Heleftme,Ihesitat
edt oopentheenvelop, my
handswereshaking, wasAyandadivorcingme?
,didhewaitforthedayl i
kethi
swhenwehad
ourdif
fer
encesthendi v
orcesme.Itooki tback
tothesaf
e, whenIwasaboutt ocloseitItook
i
toutagainandwentt ositdown.

Ir
eadt hr
ought
hef i
rstpagemyjawsdropped
st
raighti
ntomytoes, myhear
twasracingl
ike
i
bizophuma,myhandswer esweati
ng.Iwasso
confuse, whyAy andawoulddot hi
s,Imeanhe
workedv eryhardf oreveryt
hinghehad, this
wassonotr i
te, Iwentthrought hem paget o
paget il
lthelastone.Af t
erIwasdoneIput
them ontheenv el opandputt hem backt othe
safe,therewasal soacopyofourmar r
iage
cert
ifi
cate,ourI dsandPaddl epop' sbirth
cert
ifi
cateallcert i
fi
ed.Icl
osedt hesaf eand
putthedrawingback.Isatont hebednot
knowingwhatt odo, myheadwasspi nning.
Youwi l
lknowl aterwhatwasi texactl
y.

Ay
andawal
kedi
nandcl
osedt
hedoor

Ayanda:"ar
eyoudone?"
Hewasst
andi
ng
agai
nstt
hedoor.

Me:
"whydi
dyoudoi
tAy
anda"
Ayanda: "youaremywi f
e,Itrusty
ou, thi
sare
j
ustmat eri
althi
ngsbhabhaIdon'tmindlosing
them butlosi
ngyouthatIcannotsurvi
veit"
Me: "wewi lltalkaboutt hissomeot hertime
notnowbutwear enotdone"hewasst il
l
standingi nthedoorbengi funauphuma, Ifelt
sosuf focatedIneededsomeai r.WhenIwas
aboutt oopent hedoorhehel dmeandpi nned
meagai nstthedoorhel ockedi tandt il
tedhis
headwi t
houtsay ingawor dourl i
pst ouched
,heki ssedmeatf irstitwasr ought hent urned
toasof tandgent l
eki ss,hecuppedmycheeks
i
nhi spal mf eeli
ngmybaby -softskinagai nst
hisfingers.Att hatmomentIwant edt ost ay
there, Iwantedanswer s, Iwant edsomeonet o
tel
lmet hatthedeci sionIt ookwast hebestone
formyf amily,formychi l
d, formyhusband
andabov eallforme.Hewentt omybr east s
andsqueezedt hem.Hebr ushedt het i
pofhi s
tongueagai nstmyl ips,ent icingmet oopenmy
mouth,ourtonguesmingledinaslowand
exoti
cmoveIgotl osti
nthatki
ss.Icoul
dfeel
hishear
tbeatagainstmychest.

Hel i
ftedmeandpl acemegent leonbed, took
offmycl ot
hes, hepartedmyl egsapar tandhi s
tonguedi dmagi cdownt here,allIcoul ddowas
tomoan, moani npleasurethatIwasr eceivi
ng
downt here,moani ndesperationf oru-
Mt ungwa,myl egswer est ar
ti
ngt ofailmeandI
knewIwascl osertolandingzone, Ay anda
stopped, heinser t
edaf i
ngernotdeeper ,Isti
ll
want editdeeperonmebuthet ookitoutand
l
ookedatmesoseduct i
velyandl ickedi t,he
hadanaught ysmi l
ethatdrovemecr azy .

Me:
"andt
henAy
anda,
whati
sgoi
ngon?
"
Ayanda:
"not
hing,
getdr
essed"Iwant
edt
o
scr
eam hest
oodupathr
ewapi l
lowonhi
m.
Hewentt otheshowerIhear dwaterruns,Isat
ont hebed, IwantedtojumponAy andaand
strangledhi
m.Af tersomet i
mehecameout
dri
ppingwet, hedidn'tdryhi
sbody, Godhe
l
ookedsosexy, Iwasdr ooli
ng,everythi
ngwas
thereukubone, hewaswal kingar
oundl i
kebe
exhibit-wer

Me: "ahhhhhh,
Ay andaIhateyou"Isai
dthat
i
nfrustr
ati
onIcoveredmyf acewit
hapil
low
andscreamed
Ayanda:
"Iam themani
nthi
shouseI
nganat
hi,
thaty
oushoul
dknow"
Me: "mfxmmmm"Ist oodupandwentt othe
bathr
oom torefr
eshenmy sel
f.WhenIcame
backhewasnott heremf xmmm Iwent
downstai
rstheywereal lt
hereexceptfor
Ndumiewhowasatwor k,
theywatchingsoccer,
youknowmenwhent heyarewatchingsoccer,I
greetedandt heygr eetedbackIwentt othe
ki
tchen, tookat ubofy ogurtandaspoonand
wentt osi tdown, Paddl epopwassi t
ti
ngon
Ayanda' slapshecamet omei mmediatel
yshe
sawIhadsomet hingedliwayo.Mychi l
dcaneat
butakacebi nezeIguessi t
struewhent heysay
ufuzol uyedluli
sa.Ay andadidnotev enlookat
memf xmmm af t
erIwasdonef eedi
ngPaddl e
popcasIendedupf eedi
ngherIst art
edwi t
h
suppernott hatIwant edt ocookIhatecooki ng
butitwasbet terthanbei ngignoredbyAy anda
afterthemat chNdi yacameandhel p.

Isetthet abl
e, wehadsupperov erawar m
conversationbutAyandawasav oidi
ngmel i
kea
swinefluandi gnori
ngmel ikeIdon'texist
.
Whenwewer ealldoneIclearedthetableand
putthedi rt
ydishesinthedishwasher .Ipacked
them nicelywhenitwasdone.
Me:
"Paddl
epop,
let
'sgoandbat
hnana"
Ubenat
hi:
"apet
awenat
ana"
Me:
"nomyAngel
amommywon'
tbeaty
ou"
Ubenat
hi:
"nanahambanay
e"
Me:"nomyangel
,it
smeandy
ou,
come,
mommywil
lgi
veyousweet
s
Ubenat
hi:"i
-sweet
ynoNana,nobaba,
nobaba
(hepoi
ntedAyandaandal
lhi
sunclesoneby
one
Me:
"yes"
Ubenat
hi:
"yesssss"shecamer
unni
ngt
ome
me:
"don'
trun,
youwi
l
lfal
l
"
Ubenat
hi:
"lun(r
un)
Me:
"nonana"

Ipi
ckedherandkisshercheeksandwent
upst
air
s.IranIbubbl
ebathandt ookof
fher
clothesaswel l
asmi ne, wegoti nmychi l
d
l
ov eswat er,forachangewehadabondi ng
sessi onmot her-daught erjustt het woofus,
wewer epl ayingwi t
hwat erandki sski ss.Ina
wayIf el tgui
ltymychi l
dwasonl yay earol der
andher eIwaschasi ngf oracar eer, Iwasnot
thatcl oset omydaught erascompar edt oher
dadandIwasst ayi
ngwi thherhowmuchmor e
masengi seJobur gcasdef initelyAyandawas
notgoi ngt oal l
owmet ot akePaddl epopwi th.
Wasi tr eall
ywor thi
t, yescar eerwi seIwas
goingt ogr owandear nmor ebutwasIr eallyin
needofmoneyofumsebenzi t heanswerwas
NO! !Iwasst illhappywi thj ob, wasmycar eer
wor thmor ethanmyf ami lythatwast he
dil
emmaIwasi n.Ididn'tnot iceIhadst opped
playing

Ubenat
hi:"Nanaadl
ala,
kam (
come)
"Il
ooked
upitwasAyanda
Ayanda:
"isther
earoom f
oroneboy,
ladi
es"
hewassmili
nginhi
sBoxer
s
Ubenat
hi:
"Kam (come)Nana"

Inodded,
hegoti
n

Ayanda:"bhabha, t
hisi
snott
heti
metocr
y
Marhadebe"Itouchedmycheeks,
mfxmmm I
wascryi
ng.

Ay
anda:
"Il
ovey
oubot
hguy
s"
Me: "weloveyoutoodaddy"heki
ssedmy
for
ehead, mydaught
ercl
osedhereyeswi
thher
smallhands,mfxmmmm Ubenathi
.

Me:
"Yanda,
Iwan,
,
,"
Ay
anda:
"notnowVuy
olwam ,
let
'senj
oyt
his"I
nodded, wepl ayedkejustthethreeofusaft
er
anhourorsoamanzi abebandawehadt odrain
i
tsifakeamany ecasMsGodzi l
l
awasst i
ll
enj
oy i
nghersel f,shewasstarti
ngtobesleepyI
wrappedheri nabodyt owel andputheronthe
bedwel eftdaddyt otakeoffhisboxersand
fi
nishedbathing.

Ay
anda:heshouted"whoi
sgoi
ngt
ocl
eant
his
messyoul
efther
e"
Me:Ishout
edback"t
hel
astt
ogeti
nandout
oft
hebathtub"
Ay
anda:
"thi
sismanabusesozeuv
e"Igi
ggl
ed
Me:
"wel
ovey
out
oodaddy"

Idr
iedmyselfandwr appedabodytowelaround
mybody,IlotionedPaddlepopgotherdressed
andwenttot uckherinherbedandkisseda
goodni
tesl
eep.Il
otionedmy selfandgotinbed
Ayandagoti
nbedt oo.WellIthoughtwewer e
bothasl
eepkantiIwasfooli
ngmy sel
f.God
knowsIwassot i
redallIwantedwasa
peacef
ulni
tengiy
ov ukafol
l
owi ngday.

Ay
anda:
"bhabha"

Ikeptqui
te

Ayanda:"bhabha,Iknowyouareawake,
pl
easetherei
ssomet hi
ngIwannatal
ktoy
ou
about,j
ustli
stennobaawuthet
hanga"

Me:
"I'
mli
steni
ng"
Ayanda:"bhabha,I'
m sorr
yforwhathappened
earl
i
er,youhav ebeenther
ef ormebhabha,in
morethansicknesskukubiyoustoodbyme
Marhadebe.ItsnotthatI'
m beingjeal
ousor
sel
fi
shitsjustthatI
'm scaredtoloseyouand
scar
edtolivelif
ewithy oumilesawayf r
om me
bhabhaandi nsecur
iti
esarekill
ingme"
Me:
"youwon'
tl
,,
,
,,
"
Ayanda: "shhhhhhh, letmef i
nishbhabha, I
won' tl
ivelif
ewi thouty ouMar hadebeIr efuse,
thatwi l
lnev erhappen, t
hati swhyIdeci dedto
dropev erythingher e, leav emyl i
feandmy
fami l
yher eandbewi thmyr ealfamil
yin
Johannesbur g,Yes, wear eleav i
ngwithy ouno
Paddl epopwewi llcomeonceamont ht o
checki fever yt
hingi sokt hissideandmy
businesses, Iwilll
eav et hehousewi thNdi ya
wewi l
lbuyour si nJohannesbur gsoyes, we
willbestar t
ingourl ivesi nJobur g"

It
urnedandhuggedhi
mti
ghtandki
ssedhi
m
onhisfor
ehead.
Me: "t
hankyoubhabha,
thanky
ouMt
ungwa,
youareonei
nami l
li
on"
Ayanda:"wecanaskXhanti
tohel
pusl
ookf
or
ahouseIwil
lal
socal
lMariet
ta"
Me:
"thatwon'
tbenecessar
ybhabha"
Ayanda:"whatdoyoumeancasI
'
m not
st
ayingi
nabachelorf
lat"
Me:"wewon'tbest
ayi
ngi
nabachel
orf
latbut
i
nourhouse"
Ay
anda:
"ut
hini
Inga,
youar
econf
usi
ngme"
Me:
"I'
m nott
aki
ngt
hej
obbhabha"
Ayanda: "noIngayouwil
leveni
fIhav
et odrag
youmy selfbutyouwil
l,t
hisi
swhatmakesy ou
happybhabhaIhav eseenhowmuchy oulov
e
yourj
ob"
Me:"myhappinessi
sri
ghtherewithme,you
ar
emyhappiness,mypi
ll
arthereasonwhyI'
m
sti
ll
breat hi
ngwi ththatdemandingdaught
erof
ours,y ourfri
endsar ehere,yourf
amil
yisher
e
everyt
hi ngthatyouhav eisheresopl
easedon'
t
tr
ytot alkmeoutoft hi
sImademymi ndnot
becauseofwhaty ousaidbutit
smydecisi
on
wear est ay
ingandIwon' ttakenoforan
answer"
Ayanda:"bhabha,
arey
ousur
eaboutt
hiscasI
don'
twantyoutobl
ameme5y ear
sdownthe
l
ine"
Me:
"tr
ustmeIwon'
ti
nst
eadIwi
l
lthanky
ou"
Ayanda:"I'
m nothappyt
houghbuti
fyouar
e
sureabouti
tthankyoubhabha"
Me: "nothankyouMtungwaforwant
ingt
o
sacr
ifi
ceevery
thi
ngthatyouhavef
orme"
Ay
anda:
"don'
tfor
getIhav
enot
hing"
Me:Igi
ggled"comeher
e"Iki
ssedhi
schest
andhehuggedme
Ay
anda:
"khondi
phemf
azi
wam "
Me:"noYanda"It
oldmysel
fngi
zozi
cini
sa."
I
'mt
ired"

Hebitmyear,
nomatterhowmuchIwant ed
cont
ainmysel
fbutt
hatjustsendt
ickl
i
ngsinmy
body.

Me:
"Yandapl
ease,
I'
mti
redmy
eni
wam "
Ayanda:"Iam mysel
fbhabha,
andt
hiswi
l
lbe
ourcur
etoourpeaceful
sleep"
Me: "noYanda, i
nthemor ningnotnow"he
bl
ewal i
ghtbreathoni t,whichsentchill
sdown
myspi n.Hi
shandswer ebusycar essi
ngmy
body,hekissedmyneckandt ur
nedmeashe
wascuddl i
ngfrom theback, Icouldn'
tprot
est
anymor emyunl oyalbodybi seyi
thengi
sil
e
ngami ,
ourmout hslockedandweki ssed, so
soft,gentl
yandsl owlywhilehewastakingof f
mypj .Hewentbackt omyneck.
Besingi
nikezelengit
heMax halangangidl
eni.He
wentdownonmyst omach, ki
ssi
ng,touching,
bi
ti
ngandexpl or
ingev er
yinchofmybodywi th
hi
smout h,tongueandhi shands.

Hi
st eet
hf oundmyni ppl
es,theystoodup
i
mmedi ately,hishandstr
aceddownt o
Marhadebe, heinsert
edhisfi
ngerandI
moanedhei nsert
edthesecondone" ahhhhhhh"
t
hat'
sallIcoul dsay.

Het henposit
ionedhimselfandinser
ted(I
suckedi nabreath)Ihel
dt i
ghtonthi
ssheet,
hetriedunti
lhewasi n.Wellwedancedfora
verylongti
me, hebroughtmet oedges
severall
yti
mes, hewentonandonandst art
ed
wor shi
pingme, cur
singandIknewhewas
closertothechit
a-land,wer eachedthecl
imax
simultaneousl
yhecol l
apsednexttome, aft
er
somet i
mehest oodupandwentt othe
bathroom, hecamebackwi t
hthetoweland
cleaneduswegotunderbl anketsandcuddl
ed
tosleep...
..

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
19]Mca:
INSERT198

Foll
owi ngdaywehadanappoi ntmentwithour
designerVera, Iwantedtowearmyol d
weddi ngdressbutbabaKhumal owasagai nst
thatideasoVer ahadt odoanotherone.We
werenotgoi ngt ohaveGroom'smenand
bri
desmai dthistimeitwasall
aboutusIwas
goingt owalkdownt heaisl
ewithPaddlepop.
Wear r
ivedatVer a'
splace,
Verawaswi thhis
y
oungerbr
otherEl
ari
o

Me:
"goodmor
ningVer
a"
Ver
a:"ehiPri
nci
pessa"shecameandki
ssed
mycheek"comestai(howareyou)
Me: "benegr
azi
eev
oiVer
a"(goodt
hanxand
yoursel
f)
Ver
a:"gr
andedol
cezza(gr
eatsweet
ness)

Ay
anda:
clear
edhi
sthr
oat"I
'
m st
il
lher
e"

Ver
a:"ohhsor
ryAy
andee,
comest
ai"
Ayanda: "Ver
a,IonlyknowXhosaIdon'
t
underst
andwhatar eyousayi
ng"
Vera:"Sor
ryAyandee,
teachmeKosaIwi
l
l
teachyoui
tal
i
an"
Ay
anda:
"noVer
aIr
atherst
ickt
omyXhosa,
yourl
anguagei
srat
hercomplicat
edf
ormeI
don'
twannabit
emyt ongue"
Ver
a: "butPr
inci
pessaknowshowt
ospeakmy
l
anguage"
Ayanda:"ther
e'sanItali
anboywhoi steachi
ng
herandmywi f
ei sanalien,It
hinksheknowsal l
l
anguagesthatarespokeni nthisplanet
i
ncludi
ngtheonet hatisusedinheav enandby
thedeadpeoplet hat
'swhyImar r
iedher"
Me:
"ouchbhabha"Ihi
thi
sar
m pl
ayf
ul

Ver
a: shel
ookedatPaddl
epop"Ci
ao
Bal
l
issimobambola"(hel
l
owbeaut
if
uldol
l
)
Me:
"ci
aazi
aVer
a"(sayhel
l
owt
oauntv
ery
)
Ver
a:y
ouhav
eabeaut
if
uldaught
er"
Me:"t
hankyouVer
a"Ifl
oppedont
hechai
r"
Ver
adoIreal
l
yneedtodothi
s"
Ver
a:"y
es,
let
'sgett
obusi
ness,
sper
oche
nonsoni nci
taquest
avol
ta"(hopey
ouar
enot
pregnantthi
sti
me)
Me: "no,
I'
m nonVer
a"(noI
'
m notVer
a)I
sul
ked
Vera:"good,
Iwil
lal
sotakemeasur
ementsfor
mybambola(dol
l
)andherdresswi
ll
befree
ofcour
se "
Ay
anda:
"noIwi
l
lpayf
ori
ttoo"
Vera:"noAy
anda,Ii
nsi
st,y
ouar
eoneofmy
customer
swhopay
swell"
Ay
anda:
"sur
ethen,
thansVer
a"
Ver
a:"sayGr
azi
e"(t
hanky
ou)
Ayanda:
"noVera,
thati
sforcheeseboy
snot
aXhosamanli
keme.

Wealll
aughedshemadet hefi
tt
ingsandsat
down.Sheshowedmel otofdr
essesandIfel
l
i
nlov
ewi t
henyeyazo.
Vera:"youarever
yluckcasmyhusbandi
s
fl
yingt
oItal
ytoni
teoneofmycustomersl
oved
thesamedress"

Ver awast heonedoi ngthedr essesandsui t

s
andEl ariowasgoi ngtobeourweddi ngplanner,
Ay andadi dn'tl
ikehimt hatmuchcashewas
kindagay ish, butIdoubthewas,weassumed
hewasatt hattime.Inawaymal edesi
gner s
andweddi ngpl annersbabu-gay i
shandi -
most
yaboar egay ssoweassumedhewasandI
l
ov edhi m dear l
ywor sewhenhespokei tal
ian
hewassosexy .Hemessedt hingstheday
bef or
et hebigdaywhenhet ri
edt oseduce
Xhant ibekunqandwaamahay i hayiemfuna
aphaandKamv abephambenengendoday akhe.
Wewer egoingtor enewourv owsher einCape
Townwhi chmeansooTot i
wer enotgoi ngt o
helpt hatmuchbutwi t
hVer aandEl ari
o
everythingwasont op.Aboutt hev enueAy anda
assur edust hatthev enuewassor tedsi ncewe
di
dn' twantt odoi tesontweni ev enthough
umf undi siwethuwast heonewhowasgoi ngto
performt hewholecer emony .Iwassocur i
ous
buthesai dthelessIknowt hebet tersohewas
goingt ot akeVeraandEl ar
iotoseei tngo
Januar ywhenev erythi
ngwasf inali
zed.

Sowedeci dedtogoforIvory,Gol
dandwhi t
e.I
real
l
yt hankGodthatther
ewasnotgoi ngtobe
abridalshowerandbachelorandbachel
oret
te
part
y .Soweleftwhenwewer edone.

Abouttheri
ngsIbegYandanott
ochangethem
,Isti
l
llovedourr
ings,
IguessIwasat
tached
tothem ,si
nceIgotmarr
iedInevertookt
hem
offsodidYandaIwantedtostaythatway.Ev
en
thoughhewasnothappybuthegav ei
n.We
onlytookthem f
orcl
eani
ng.

Itwasaweekbef or
eChr ist
mas, Igotmy
resul
tsal readyfrom CputandImadei t, Ihave
compl etedbyBTechandwebot hpassedat
Unisa.Inawaywewer elookingf orwardt oour
thi
rdyeart hefoll
owi ngy ear.Unfor t
unatelyI
wasgoi ngt owor kthroughoutt heDecember
holi
day s,Iplannedt ot akemyl eav engo
Februarysot hatdayIwasnotgoi ngtowor k
Ayandaaskedmet ocal lforoffsickcashehad
aonedaybusi nesst ri
pt oJobur gandIwas
goingt olookaf terPaddl epop.Hi sfli
ghtwas7:
00andebuy ayowas15h30atORTambo.He
tookashowerashowerasear lyas5: 00am
Ayanda:"undi
thandazi
seMar
hadebeifIcan
sealt
hist
ime,Iwillnev
erwor
ryaboutmoney
agai
n"

Ist
oodupandf
ixhi
sti
eandbr
ushedhi
ssui
t.

Me:
"goodl
uckMy
eni
wam "
Ay anda:"enkosi Marhadebe"heki
ssedme,
heeehay ikeIjustgotemot i
onal
nimaand
startedcr
y ing,don'
taskmewhyIwascr y
ing
butIwas, zangewahambau-Yandawi thout
me

Ayanda:"bhabhapl
easemfazi
wam I
'm onl
y
goingf
orfewhours,Iwi
ll
bebackbef
oreyou
knowit"
Me:
"IknowYanda,
Idon'
tknowwhatgoti
nto
me"
Ayanda:"Iwil
lbebacksoonIpr
omise"he
wi
pedmyt ear
sandwekissedal
ongone,Iwas
cr
yingbetweentheki
sses.
Ay
anda:
"thandat
hembal
am"
Me:
"wel
ovey
out
oobabah"
Ayanda:
"gi
vePaddl
epopakissf
orme,Iwon'
t
daregot
oherr
oom ot
herwi
seIwil
lmi
ssmy
fl
i
ght"
Me:
"nof
unnybusi
nessl
aphay
auy
akhona"
Ay
anda:
"Ipr
omi
se"
Me:"pl
easegetsomet
hingt
oeatbef
orey
ou
l
eav
e"
Ayanda:
"don'
twor
rybhabha,
Iwi
l
leate-
fl
igh-
ti
ni"
Me:
"thandav
ha"
Ay
anda:
"thandanami
,yohl
ambauml
omo"
Igi
ggl
ed

Helef
tandIwentbackt
osl
eepunt
ilms
Godzi
ll
awakemeup.

Ubenat
hi:
"nana"
Me:
"comeandsl
eepnana"
Ubenat
hi:
"noni
na,
afunanana"
Me:
"uy
eza,
wozakumama"
Ubenat
hi:"af
unaunana"mychil
dstar
ted
cr
yingLor
dbengi
ngekanel
ibubut
hongo"
Me:"ubenat
hi!
!!Comet
obed,
nzakubet
a
kemna"

Shewentt osi
tinacor
ner,
itwasj
ustaf
ter6
forgoodnesssake.
Me:
"camenana"
Ubenat
hi:
"abet
hani
na"
Me:
"noIwon'
tbaby
,thul
aal
oku"
Shecr i
edhar der
,Iknewshewasnotgoi ngto
stop.Ipickedherakhalaanjal
oandwentto
babomdal a'sbedroom andknocked.

Ndumi
e:"comei
n"
Me: "cany
oukeepthi
slit
tl
eradi
oforme
bef
oreIswit
chedi
toffngempama"
Ndumi
e:"ni
l
wangani
ekuseni
kangaka"
Me:
"Nana"
Ndumi
e:"shame,
bri
ngherher
e"
Ubenat
hi:
"apet
ani
nababa"
Ndumi
e:"apet
au-
Ninav
ha"
Shesuckedherf
inger
s.

Ndumie:"y
ouknowwhatdoest
hatmean"I
nodded
Me:
"Iwi
l
lgoandmakeherbot
tl
e"
Ndumie:
"nodon'
twor
ry,
Iwi
l
ldoi
t,gobackt
o
bed"
Me:
"Thanxbabomdal
a

Aft
er9Yandacal
l
edat
hihehasl
andede-OR
Tambo

Ay
anda:
"wher
eismyPr
incess"
Me:
"wi
thNdumi
e,bef
unaunanawakhe"
Ayanda:"Imi
ssy
out
oomyangel
s,wesee
yousoon"
Me:
"okbabah"
Twomont hshav epassed,itwast hedayf or
ourrenewal ofvows, Satur
day,27thFebr uar
y
20..
theboy swer eatNdumiesincludingXhanti'
s
fri
endsf r
om Jobur g.Myfamil
ywasi nHighbury.
Gogo, tamkhulu, oobaba,oobabomdal aand
thei
rfami l
ies,dabsandooDi ma, Njabulo,
bebekhona.Obaba(Ay anda'
sfather)bekhona,
makhul u,Ayanda'suncles,
hisAunt sofcourse
Lomzi andBoni swa.
Ididmynai l
sandhairl
astnitesoaround10,I
wasdone, Ireal
l
ymissedAy andawedi dn'
t
sleepinthesamehouset heelder
ssaidev en
thoughitwasonlyt
her enewalofvowsi twould
bet hebestt
hatwedon'tseeeachot her.

Welef
tforthevenuewheret
herenewal ofvows
wasgoi
ngtot akepl
ace.Wedrov
et oWhi t
e
wat
ers,anditwaseasytospott
hev enue
becauseimotozo-Ayandawereparkedout
side.
I
twasabr eathtaki
nghousetrustmeitwas
twiceourhouse.ImustsayVeraandAyanda
didanoutstandi
ngjobinfi
ndi
ngit.

BeforeIwal kedi nEl ariodi

dsomet ouchups.I
tookadeepbr eathandwal kedinwithPaddl e
popwhowashol dingmyhand.Myangel was
wayt oobeaut i
ful,wedi dalmostthesamest yle
entl
okoandt hecol ourofourdresseswer et he
sameexcepther swasshor t.Everyonestood
up.Ismi led, andl ookedatYandawhowas
l
ookingatusancumi l
eKurtDarrenwasdoi ng
histhingint hebackgr ounditj
ustbroughtback
thememor ies, 3y earsbackwhenIwal ked
downt heaislewi thmyf at
her,whenAy anda
waswel comi ngmet ot hebestofhiswor l
d, t
o
therestofhi sl i
fe.Itwasnev ereasy, t
he
stor
msIhav eov ercome, t
hepainthesuf feri
ng
Ihadt oendur eint henameofl ove.WhenIgot
mar ri
ed, Ithoughtthatitwasal lrosyandsweet
Iwasonl y19whenmyf atherhandedmet othi
s
, Alwaysangr yman, t
ot hismanwhot hought
l
ifewasal l
aboutki l
li
ngpeopl e,al
laboutbeing
theboss, allaboutusinggal sandt ossthem
awaybuther eIwas22st il
l youngyetfeltl
i
ke
l
ifehadbeent oughonme.Agai nstalloddsI
wasst il
linlovewiththisman, whostil
lhavehis
fl
awsbutwhowi lldoany thingtoseehi s
Princesseshappy .

Whilewalki
ngdownt heaisl
ePaddlepop
spott
edherdad, sherantoherdadleav
ingme
walki
ngalone,Idon'tbl
amemychi l
dwel ast
sawdaddybefore1pm previousdayshe
shouted

Ubenat
hi:
"nana,
apat
ha.(Yandapi
ckmeup)
amen
Howi sitf
ortrust
ingsomeonetowal
ky ou
downt heaisl
esukeakushi
yeaphosucking
yourgums. ..
.

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
19]Mca:
INSERT199

Paddlepopreachedhi
sdadbefor
eIcould,her
fat
herpickedherupandki
ssedhercheekt
hen
Totit
ookherandwenttositdownwithher
.
Iwalkeddownt oAyandawhowasst anding
l
ookingatme, hiseyeswer egli
tter
ing,they
weref ul
loflove,passi on, compani on,inaway
i
tfel
tl i
keitwast hefirstti
memar ryi
nghim, my
l
ovef orhim wasstil
l burningt hroughmychest,
YesIlovedhi m wit
hhi sflaws, hewasnot
per
fectandhewasf arf r
om bei ngper f
ectbutI
l
ovedhi m anj al
o.Thel oveIhadf orAy anda
waswayoutoft hi
swor l
d, wangi totobisaf r
om
dayonehesawme, het r
eat edmel ikeaqueen,
kunz i
mat oboi lanegg, hedi dn'tforceme
ngikwazi uphekabuthet ookmet hrought he
j
our neyoff acil
i
tati
ng,ofhel pingmengazi
upheka.It r
iedt oholdmyt earsbutt heywer e
str
eami ngdownmypi nkcheeks.Ir eached
Ayanda, hewassoemot ional himsel fbutasa
manhehel dhi mselfbuthi sey eswer efi
ll
ed
wit
ht ears.

Ayanda:"Angel
sdon'tcry,youaresafewit
h
mebhabhaandy oulookabsolut
elybeaut
if
ul
andstunni
ngMarhadebe"hewhi sper
ed.
Me:
"sodoy
ou"

TheRev.
.di
dhi
sthi
ngsandi
twast
imef
orour
vows.
Me: "bhabha, i
tsveryf unnyhowIusedt of i
ght
youaboutt hi
snamewheny oucalledme
"bhabha"butnowi tst heonlynamet hatcomes
tomymi ndwhenIt hinkabouty ou.Ireal
lydon'
t
knowwhatt osay, thi
st imeIwantedt owrit
e
downmyv owsbutIt houghtifIdoIwon'tsay
whatIreallyfeelr
itenowsoIdeci dedwrite
them aft
er"

Ismi
l
edaner
vousone.

Me: "
Youar enotjustmyhusbandYanda, you
aremyf r
iend, myheroandmyl ove,myhopes
anddreamsar eforeveri
ntermingledwithyours.
Itwas3y earsbackthatwef i
rstpleadedour
commi t
mentt ooneanot herbutitseemsl i
ke
j
ustyesterday.Wehav ebeenthroughal ot
toget
her-laughterandtears,joyandsor r
ow
andt hroughal lt
hoset imes, Icanhonest lysay,
Ilovey ouev erystepoft heway .Mylovehas
notdi mini shedinsteadmyl oveonl ydeepened
witht i
mebecausei talway sgi vesmemor e
oppor tunitiestoappr eci
at ehowwe
successf ul l
ymanagedev erynewchal lenget hat
confront edus.Thi sisanot hery eartocr eate
preciousmemor i
estoget her, anothery earto
discov ernewt hi
ngst oenj oyaboutus, another
yeart ost rengthenamar riaget hatdefinesus.
Atf i
rstIt houghty ouwer enot hingbutadev ili
n
disguise, butturnedoutt obet hepuppetona
stri
ng, myt eddybear"

Ay
anda:
hesmi
l
ed"heywenabhabha"

Igi
ggl
ed

Me:
"youhav
ebeent
hebesthusband,
you
hav ebeenamazi ngasadadt oPaddl epopand
asmypar t
ner .Ihav ebeenhappyi ny ourar ms
andIknowt hatwewi llbehappi erfort her estof
ourday s.Si nceImety oumyl if
ehasnev erbeen
thesame.Thanky ouf ormaki ngi tbet terand
happi er.Youar emycour age, mypi ll
arandmy
soldier.Ipr omi set obef orgivi
ngnot
compl acent ,tobef aithf ulandt ruet oy oui n
mind, bodyandspi rit
, tocher i
shy ouand
respecty ouandboundbyourl ov easl ongas
weshal l l
ive.Ipledget ocont inuet obeal ov i
ng
fri
endandpar tnerinmar ri
age, tot alkandl i
sten
, t
ot rustandappr eciat eoneot her, tor espect
andcher i
sheachot heruni quenessandt o
suppor t,comf ortandst rengtheneachot her
throughl i
fe'sjoysandsor r
ows.Iknowwear e
toodi fferentbutIbel iev ethewor l
d'shappi est
coupl enev erhast hesamechar acterst heyj ust
hav ethebestunder standi ngoft hei rdifference
Thanky ousomuchMt ungwaf orl ov i
ngme, for
l
ov ingusnoPaddl epop.Il ov
ey ou"
Ayanda: "Luthandol wenhl iziyoyam ,
l
uv uy olwam , lonwabol omphef uml owam ,
thembal obomi bam , y ourpr ayers, your
strongness, youruncondi ti
onal l
ov ebroughtus
here.Youar elikeal ioness, myl ioness, sulil
a
kalokuMaf uzaf ulele.Itt ookahar dheaded
womanl i
key out otamet heani mal i
nmeand
youdi dt hatabsol ut elywel l.Itonl ytookmef ew
secondst oknowt haty ouwer etheonef orme.
I'
m her et obey oursuppor t
er, yourconf idant
andy ourbestf riend, Ilovedy ou, Isti
lll
ovey ou
andIwi l
l al
way sl ov ey ouwhet hery ouf eelthin
orf at, goodorbad, uglyorbeaut ifuloroutof
shapey ouwi l
l alway sbeper fect-per fectfor
me.Ihav edonet hingsI 'm notpr oudofand
oftenbeenwr ongbuty oudon' tjudgeme.You
hav emadeourhomeacast le.Fort hepast4
year sithasnev erbeeneasy ,therewer et i
mes
ofacr imoni ous, desect ion, l
onel i
ness,
sadnesst hewhol eagonyIwentt hrough,
Inganat hi ,youstoodbyme.Youdi dcr ynot
becausey ouf el
tthepai nbutbecausey ousaw
mecr ying, therewer etimeswher ey oucoul dn't
sleepbecauseIcoul dn't, t
herewer et imes
wher eIl osthopebuty oudi dn'tl
osei t, there
wer et i
meswher eIwasal lbymy selfdanci ng
i
nt hest orm becauseofmypast, youdi dn't
wat chmebuty oujumpedi nanddancedwi th
me.Ther ewer etimeswhenIwaspower less
butIhadt oclimbt hegr eatmount ain, yougav e
mey ourhandandpul ledmet hrough.WhenI
felldown, y
ouwer etheretol i
ftmeup, y ou
didn'tmi ndhowmanyt imesIcr ybuty ouhav e
nev ergott i
redtowi pemyt earsaway .You
didn'tmi ndt oputy ourownl i
featr i
skj ustf or
me, throughmyt orment edpasty our emai ned
unflinchinglywi thme, whenIneededt he
shel t
erj ust2weekssazana, wewer en'tev en
fri
ends, youdidn'tknowmet hatwel l, you
prov i
dedwi thit,whenIwasf r
eezingy ougav e
mewar mt h.ThanxmyAngel foryourl
ov e,
care
,courage, warmth,j
oyandhappinessy ougav
e
me, t
hanky oufort
hatwonderfulgi
ftyougave
me"hel ookedatPaddlepop, "al
l y
ourhard
worktoheal myheart,
ithasnevergone
unnot
iced"

Me:
"pl
easedon'
tmakemecr
ymor
e"

Ayanda: "pleasedon'tbhabha, j
ustsmile
becausey ouhav edonet hebestorshouldI
remindy outhatwhenwemetIhadt hewor st
ti
mes, yougav emet hebestofti
mes, Ihadthe
ageoff ooli
sh, y
ougav emeageofwi sdom.Do
Ihavetor emindy outhatyoucamet omewhen
Ihadtheseasonofdar knessandy outookme
totheseasonofbr i
ghtness,Ihadthewinterof
despairandy ougav emet hespri
ngofhopeand
don'ty
ouf orgetthatIhadabsolutel
ynothing
beforemeandy oubr oughtev erythingbef ore
me.Thesecr et
st hatar edeepert hant heocean
thatIt r
ust ednoonet osharewi thbuti tbecame
easilytot ellyou, asy ousai dthi
si sanot hery ear
todiscov ernewt hingst oenjoyabouteach
otherandanot hery eart ostrengthenamar ri
age
thatdef inesus, soMar hadebel et'
sspr eadour
wingsandsoar, wehav eeverythi
ngt ogai nand
nothingt ol ose, Godi sloveandsowear e, I
l
ov ey ouandwi l
l foreverbegr atefulfor
everythingy ouhav edonef orme, fort he
Khumal os, will
alway sbegr atef
ul fory ourl ove
andpat ienceandabov eallwil
lforev erbe
grateful toGodf orbl essingmewi thsuchan
Angel enguwe.Yakut handal ent
wanay akwa
Ndlov uLi ngxi"tear swer ealsost r
eami ngdown
Yandascheeks.

ThatdayI'
m sur
emyAmazonr iv
erbi
she
nyaaaaa,
weexchangedourr
ingsandRev,
,
,di
d
hi
sthi
ng

Rev:"Inowpronouncey
ouMrandMrsAyanda
Khumaloagai
n,youmaykissy
ourwi
fe"

Hewi pedmytearssogentl
eandsoftandwe
kissedalongoneunti
ltheRevcl
ear
edhis
throat
..
..
..
.

Ngi
yezel
abhabhasseey
out
omor
rowhl
e,
,,
,

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)
[
08/
19,
01:
19]Mca:
INSERT200

Ever
ybodycheer
edup,Ayandagav
emet he
ti
ght
esthug,het
henwipedmytear
sasIwiped
hi
seventhoughhewastal
lhehadtot
il
this
headdown.

Therecept i
onwasgoi ngt obei nthesame
venuesot her ewasnoneedf orust omove
from onepl acetoanot her, wefir
stwenttotake
pict
uresint hegar den(whi chwashugeand
breat
ht akingandt her
ewasal sosomesor tofa
tenni
scour t)wet ookthem asmanyaswe
could, ,,
,,,wewentbackt otherecepti
onand
wentt ositinthechai r
st hatwerer eser
vedfor
MrandMr sAy andaKhumal othenbabaandmy
dadmadespeeches.

Ayanda' sdad:"Ayanda,Mt ungwa, Ndl

ovu.I
alwayst houghtkubobonkeabant wanandi
nabo
ungoy enaongenanhlokobuty ouprovedme
wrongmyson, whenIlookaty ouaseea
20Xbet t
ermant hanIam ,Ifailedyouasa
fatherbutdomeaf avourNdlov udon'
tbeli
ke
mecont inuebet hemant hatyouar ewho
honourhi sfami l
y, whol ov eshi sfamilyand
abov eal
l whor espect shi sf ami l
y.Mf anawam
aphakwaXhosai fy oul ov ey ourwi fe, you
respecthery ouar egi vennames, peopl ewi ll
sayy ouwer egi venal ov epor t
iondon' tlistento
thosethingsot herwi set heywi lll
andy out o
wher eIam t odaywi thnot hingbutpai noft ryi
ng
tomendbr okenwal l
st hatIhav edestroy ed.
Uy i
ndodaemadodeni ny anacont i
nuewi tht hi
s
goodwor k.Simany e, enkosi Mar hadebe, you
aredoingagoodj ob, Iknowi tsnoteasyi t
comeswi thpai n, suffer i
ngsbuty ouhav e
provedy ourselfthaty ouar estrongert hant he
storm, t
haty ourar ethepi l
larfory ourhusband.
IknowAy andahei smychi ldakanahl okobut
yout amedhi m, yourl ov et amedhi m hlal ewazi
wear ebehi ndy oual l
t hewayMar hadebeandi f
yakwehlulaemi niuml indemt anam t hem t alkto
him mani sekammel eni nay iphinai ndoda
i
y at
hambaekamel eni.(Igi ggled)Ndi yendi ve
kemawubi zangobhut ibakhokuthwaungu
Ntondo(lastborn)youar ereall
yourlastbor
n,
theloveyouhavebr oughtinmyf amily,t
he
warmt hyoubroughtinourhear t
sthedaywe
knewy ouisi
ncredible.Si
nenhlanhlatohaveyou
Ntondo.Ndi ni
nqwenel elaokuhlebantwana
bam iThi
xoanisikel
ele"

Baba: "thedayIfoundoutt hatmywi fewas

pregnant, Iwasbeyondhappy, happyt hatI
wasgoi ngt obeafatherbutal l t
hatchanged
theydayIhel dyouandy ourt winbr otheri nmy
hands, IknewIwasnotj ustaf atherbuta
blessedhumani nthisplanet ,
y oubr ought
nothingbuthappinessandl ifeinmyl i
fe,the
reasony ongani
kezelenomat terkunzi ma
kangakani na.WhenGodt ookawayy our
brotheryoudon'tknowhi m, hewast hequi t
e
oneandy ouwerealwayscr yingkuba
usatetemananamuhl a,(peopl el aughed)I
knewGodhasgi venmet hisdut ytot akecar eof
thisfragi lehear t,ifitwasf ormey ouwoul d
hav est ay ed5.Wheny out ol dmey ouwer e
engagedmyhear talmostst oppedbutIhada
hopet hatsoonl enkwenkwewi llhurtyouand
youwi llcomebackt ousandIwi llbet heret o
pickupt hepi ecesbuti nsteady ayiikhula
i
ndodakazi yAmi i
buy amakusay oendl ini (
I
giggledshy l
y )
.Wheny ousai dAy andawasi n
Kokst adt hedayIcal ledhi mt omyhouse, I
want edt owhi phisbut twi thashambookf or
want ingt ot akemydaught erawayf rom mebut
i
nst eadt hemi nuteIsawhi m, Isawmy
Nhl anhlai nhim abov eAl lIsawhowmyy ou
l
ookedathi m, youl ookedathi ml ikehewas
theonl yper sono- exi stay oi nthispl anet, Isaw
thewayheadmi rey ou, thewayhewor shiped
you, thewayhet reatsy ouandIknewy oudi dn'
t
makeami stakei nchoosi ngahusbandt obe.
Ay anda,ny anay ouknowt hisismyAngel the
oneandt heonl ychi ldIhav e,forthesecond
ti
mengi yakukhul ulelay ena, nothi
nghas
changedshei sst i
llasf r
agi l
easshewas.Scol d
herwhenshei swr ongbutnev erlif
tyourf inger
toher, IknowImi ghtseem obsessedwi t
hher
happinessbuty eyiphi indodaengenoba
obsessedngendodakazi yakhe( onlyifheknew
Ioncepeemy selfy iclaplaAy anda).Last l
y,
thanky ouny anaf orkeepi nghersmi l
e,
ngogci naubuhl ebakhe, I
'm sogl adthat
usey i
landlelandandi kuni keay i
yona, wi thno
scratchonl yt hesmi lengi y abongaNdl ovuasa
saidbef oreifi t
sget tingdi ffi
cultsikhona
singabazal ibakwaKhumal onakwabaRhadebe
tohelpany ti
me, ourdoor sar eopen.Wanga
uJehov aangani londa, anigcinepansi kwephi ko
l
wakhe.Ni hlalengoXol o,ngot hando
nentembekongaphezukwakokonkeni beke
uJehov aphambi li
emshadweni wenunazi
uyikhokonke"hesatdownandt ooka
handker chiefandwi pedhi st ears.
Toti:"minather
ei snothingmuchIwoul dsay
toyoumyAngel s,y ouknowIl oveyouboth.
Sincethi
stimether ewasnobr i
dalshower
wherewewer egoi ngtogiv eyougift
ssowe
thoughtthi
swilldo, i
twil
l alsomakeupf ort
he
l
asttime.Sothisisy our
senj oyit
.Shehanded
anenv el
optoAy anda.
"thosearet woticketstoBahamasi nFlor
ida
foryourhoneymoon, youwi l
lstayt
herefor2
weeksal lcost
spai d,f
li
ghts,hotel
and
everyt
hing"Ayandast oodupandhuggedbot h
mypar ents,Ididt hesame, ei
shhhamahl oni
enginawot osayt hisbutIhavetosayit,yesI
cryi
ng.

Me:
"thansbaba,
thanxTot
i"
Tot
i:"don'
tcr
ymyangel
"
Me:
"I'
m notcr
yingTot
i,I
'
mjusthappyy
ouar
e
t
hebestbot
hofy
ou"
Toti:"kul
abesikhonanathi f
orourhoney moon
andtrustmeitsbreat
ht aking,itsforcoupl
es
mostlyyoungonesandwewer ey oungnathiby
then.Wef i
gureditwil
lbestsui tyourageand
yourstyl
e.Sinceiti
sforcoupl esonlywhich
meansPaddl epopisleavingbehi nd"
Ay
anda:
"zoshi
yekanabani
Tot
i"
Toti
:"wit
husinKokst
adt
heny
oucanf
etch
herwhenyouar
eback"
Ayanda:"andni
naTot
iemsebenzi
ninenze
nj
ani?"
Toti:ldon'
twor
ryaboutthati
tsal
lsor
ted,
I
havetakenmyleaveal
readyandremember
Ntsoakiist
her
etoo"
Ay
anda:
"thanky
ouTot
i"
Tot
i:"any
timemyangel
"
Ay
anda:
"sowhenar
ewel
eav
ing?
"
Tot
i:"t
omor
rowmor
ning"
Ay
anda: "sosoon?,IdoubtIwi
l
lsur
viv
e
wi
thoutmyPaddlepop"
Tot
i:"don'
twor
ryy
ouwi
l
l,"

Ay
andast
oodup.

Ayanda: "mnaIhav esai denough, Marhadebe

ndisakuthandanangal omzuzut hembalam , t
o
myf amiliesKhumal osandRhadebest hanky ou
somuchf ory oursuppor tukwandakwal i
wa
ngumt hakat hi.Toeachandev ery
oneofy ou,
weknowy ouhady ourownpl ansf ort
hisday
andinawaywei nconv eniencedy oubuty ou
choset odr opev ery t
hingandbeher ewi t
hus.
Ngongazenzi siyoThanky ounenzekanj e
nakwabany e"
Thenwecutthecakeandt r
ustmemydaught
er
wasnextt
othebisday(cake)yonkei
nto
eyi
caket
oUbenathii
tsbisday(bi
rt
hday)

Ubenat
hi:
"bi
sdayy
am Ni
na"
Me:
"yesnanai
tsy
ourbi
sday
"
Ubenat
hi:
"adl
aibi
sday"
Me:
"adl
aNanaandNi
naf
ir
st"
Ubenat
hi:
"NoNi
na!Adl
amna"

Iwasabouttof
eedYandawhenInoticedmy
daught
eraqumbefol
dingherhandsl
i
keherdad
whenheisangr
y

Me:
"ok,
Paddl
epopf
ir
st,
ndi
ngekabet
hwa"

Peopl
elaughed,
li
fei
ssounf
airi
twasmy
weddi
ngbutIgett
oeatmycakeemv
ako
Paddl
epopayii
nje

Wesharedourfir
stdance,Imeansecond
dance:
)asMrandMr sKhumalo, ngengoma
yet
hukeyouallknowi t
,yes!ThatoneKurt
Darr
en-standi
ngont heedge.
Thenwewentt ochangei nt
ot radit
ionalcl
othes
thencamebackandgr eetmyf ri
endsandot her
familymember st hatIdi
dn'tseebef or
e.Zee,
Phumza, OdwaandSi phewer eamongstt he
peoplewhower et her
e.I
tshasbeenawhi le
ngingababonabutwewer etalkingont hefone
theywereal l
wor kingoutofCapeTownaf ter
wegr aduated,Iguessnami ifIdidn'tmeet
ubabakaPaddl epopmhl ampengengi sebenza
outofCapeTown

Zee:
"Pr
incess"ZeeknewhowmuchIhat
ed
whenshecal
l
smePr i
ncessandshedidn'
tli
ke
i
ttoobutmayef
unaungi
gconabesebenzi
sa
l
ona.
Me: "heyZee,howar
eyousweet
hear
t"we
shar
edawar m hug
Zee:"I
'm goodst
handwasami andyou?By
thewayyoulookgreatsi
hlobosam which
meanstat'
uKhumalokuphethekakuhl
einfact
youbot
hlookgreatwhichmeansl i
feisgr
eat"
Me: "wear
etr
yingZeebutt
rustmei
tsnot
easy"
Zee:"Ineedtobehonestwhenyoutol
dme
youweregett
ingmarr
iedbengi
kwesabi
sel
a"
Me:
":/"
Zee:"ha.
aadon'
tgi
vemethatl
ook,theonl
y
thi
ngyouknewwastocr
y,sl
eep,st
udyandcry
"
Me:
"Iwasn'
tthatbadZee"
Zee:"youweremyf
ri
endbutI
'
mreal
l
ypr
oudof
you,
y oupr
ovedmewrong"

Wechat t
edabi tremindingourselv
esaboutli
fe
i
nr es,wewer elaughinghardeishhinawayI
missedthatli
fewher etherewasno, Ayandaor
Paddlepoponlymebutt heywer emywor l
d,I
wouldn'
ttradethem nanganina

Zee:
"Ij
usthopel
oya,
hei
snotcomi
ngher
e"
Me:"hayiZee,
youneedt
oletgooft
hisanger
i
tsnotheal
thy"
Zee: "y
oudon'tunder
standSne, Il
ovedthat
guyIthoughthewasanAngel kantihei
saj er
k
rhaaaIhatehi
m"
Me:
"hei
snott
hatbadkant
i"
Zee:"letmeleav
ebeforehegetsher
e,seey
ou
l
aterSne,Il
oveyouyayaziangi
thi
"
Me:
"lov
eyout
oobi
gsi
s"

Musocamet
omeandgr
eet
ed

Muso:
"Pr
incess"heki
ssedmycheek
Me:
"heyPr
ince,
youmadei
t"
Muso: "Iwouldn'
tmissi tforaday,Ihave
messedupasaboy f
riendbutatl i
stIhav
ea
chanceofbeingabigbr other"
Me:
"thanxf
orcomi
ng,
itr
eal
l
ymeansal
ot"

Mydaught erwalkedtowardsusspr eadingher

armsasf araspossible,t
heIv orydresshad
fl
ower, CAKEFLOWER, youwoul dswearshe
wasswi mmi ngkuyo,shewant edmet opi
ckher
,trustmeIdon'tgetthischanceof tensowhen
i
tav ai
lsit
sselfIjumpimmedi ately
.
Ubenat
hi:"t
hat
haNi
na"(pi
ckmeupI
nga)I
pi
ckedherup
Me:
"ki
ss,
kiss"
Ubenathi
:"iss,i
ss"wekissedancume, she
buri
edherfaceonmeI '
m notsur
eifebe-r
ight
orebozol
e,orahl
uthi
toomuchIbr ushedher
back.

Muso:
"youhav
eabeaut
if
uldaught
er,
li
key
ou
"
Me:
"si
yambongel
a"
Muso:"ei
shhh,
thi
swassupposet
obemy
f
amil
y"
Me:
"Iguesswewer
en'
tmeantt
obePr
ince"
Muso:
"wewer
ePr
incessbutImessedup"
Me:
"ar
ggdon'
tbeaty
our
sel
fit
sal
li
nthepast"
Muso: "I
'mtry
ingmylev elbestt omov eon
Pri
ncessbuteverygal
ImeetIt endt ocompare
wit
hy ouandonceIdot hatIjustf al
loutofl
ove,
howIsowi shIcouldt
urnbackt heclock"
Me: "y
ouneedtost
opdoi
ngthat,
youar
enot
doi
ngjust
icet
oyour
sel
fPr
ince"
Muso:
"Il
ovey
ou,
that
'st
hepr
obl
em .
.."
Me:"Ineedt
ogoandf
indmyhusbandPr
ince,
i
twasni.
..
"

I'
m here"hesai
dhuggi
ngmebehi
ndand
ki
ssingmyneck.

Ay
anda:
"sur
eNt
wana"
Muso:
"sur
ebossandhowar
eyou?
"
Ay
anda:
"moj
a,i
phi
impi
ntshi
yam (Nt
ati
)"
Muso:
"at
tendi
ngaSat
urdaycl
ass,
wher
eev
er
sheisshei
snothappythatshemissedAusi
Pri
ncess'
sweddi
ng, wealll
aughed.

Ayanda: "Idon'
tmeant
ober udebut,
canI
borr
owt hesetwobeaut
if
ull
adiesofmine"he
tookpaddlepop
Muso:
"nopr
obl
em ,
keepwel
l"
Me:
"by
ePr
ince"

Ayandatookmyarm, wewentpasspeopl
e
whil
egreeti
ngthem somecongr
atul
ati
ngus,
he
l
edmeupst air
s

Me: "areweallowedt ousetheupstai

rspart,
heopenedoneoft her oomsthatwereclosed.
Wewal kedin,t
herewasonl yacouch,Iopened
thesl
idingdoortothebalcony,Lor
dthev i
ew
wasbr eat
htaki
ng, theocean,CapeTownand
RobbenI
sland,
itwasl
i
ket
heywer
efewmet
ers
away.

Me: "Icanleav
ewiththi
sbreezenotthatI
'm
complaini
ngbutourhousedoesn'
tgiv
et hi
s
beauti
fulvi
ew"
Ayandagavemeanenv
elopandhuggedme
fr
om behi
nd

Me:"Yanda,
whydi
dn'
tyouputt
heset
icket
sin
mybag"
Ay
anda:
"thi
sar
enott
icket
s"
Me:
"zi
ni?
Ay
anda:
"openi
t"

Iopenedtheenvel
opandtheyweredef
init
ely
notti
cket
s,,
,bef
oreIcoul
dreadt
hewhol ethi
ng
Idart
edmyname, Ir
eadfewsentencedandI
di
dn'tknowwhatt
osayorwhattodo.Tr ustme
ngongakwazit
oexpr
essmyfeel
ings,It
urned
andfacehim

Me:
"Yanda?
?Doest
hatme.
."

Henodded

Me:
"noYanda"
Ayanda:"yes,i
tsyours,I
'
m notbuyi
ngy ou
mfaziwam butyoudeser
vethebest,youhave
beenthr
oughalotbecauseofmeandnowy ou
deser
venothi
ngbutthebest"
Me:
"thanky
oubhabha,
butwhyi
nmyname"
Ayanda:"comeher e,hel
edmet othe
bedroom andsatonthecouchnextt
oPaddle
popwhowassl eepi
nandhemademesi tonhis
l
ap

Ayanda: "bhabha, Iknowhowl ifecanbe,

ndingavukandif
ileandi ft
hathappensIdon' t
wanty outorunar oundmel eundizil
ele,
Idon't
wanty outosuffer,allour3housesar eyours,
al
lmybusi nessesar eyourseverythi
ng,asIsaid
before,nowIonlyownmycar sandmycl othes
andt hemoneyonmyper sonalaccountssoy ou
aretheboss"
Me:
"Idon'tdeser
veanyoft
heseYanda,
your
f
ami
lydoes"
Ayanda:"don'
twor
rytheyar
eal
lsor
tedbut
theywi
ll
knowaboutthatwhenI
'
m dead"

Iexhal
ed

Ay
anda:
"don'
twor
ry,
IknowwhatI
'
m doi
ng
andIt
rusty
ou"
Me:
"whati
fIt
akeev
ery
thi
nganddi
vor
cey
ou"
Ay
anda:
"heywenabhabhaandi
yont
angakho"

Igi
ggl
ed

Ayanda:
"Iwi
l
lgoandbui
l
tashacki
nCamps
bay"
Me:
"inCampsbay,
youcr
azy
"
Ay
anda: "asl
ongasmyt
wobhabhasar
eok,
I
wi
llbef
ineeveni
fI'
minashack"
Me: "t
hatwil
lneverhappen"weki ssedandit
gothott
erandhotter,Ayanda'
sfi
ngersli
deint
o
Marhadebe.Il
etamoanescapedmymout h
hayinj
eIreal
l
ycrav edforhi
m.
Ayanda: "let
'st
aket
histothebathroom,ms
Godzill
aishere"hepi
ckedmeup, wewerest
il
l
ki
ssing, j
ustwhenwewer eaboutentert
he
bathroom door

Ubenat
hi :
"Nana"t
hiscan'
tbehappeni
ng,
yhoooIfel
tli
kescr
eaming
Ayanda:"uzal
aladon'
tworr
y"i
fyouthi
nkshe
sl
eptthenyouthoughtwr
ongshecr
iedhar
der
.

Ayanda: "damnPaddlepop! !
!Khomhoy e
bhabha,Ineedtof i
xmy sel
ffir
st,uMtungwa
ulwi
le"Iwantedtoscream kubonesowuzi-
gear
-
i
shelaforsomethingungayit
holi
.Ical
medher
,Ayandacamet ousandwewal kedbackto
ebantu.

Ev
ery
onewashav
inggoodt
ime,
wehadt
o
l
eav eaf ter11pm mostpeopl ehadl eftalready
andt hi
newewer el eavingfollowingday
oobabomdal aweregoi ngt osor titoutindaba
yolalaandev ery
thing.Somewer egoingt o
sleepi nourhouse, somei ntheQuar t
er, itwas
nev erusedbuti twascl eansomekwaNdumi e,
somekwaMsi ra,somekwaWar aandsomeof
myf amilymember se- Kuil
sriverandmostof
babomdal a'
sfri
endsi ncludi
ngYanda' sfriend
deci dedt ouseournewhouse, eventhoughi t
wasnotf ull
yfur
nishedy ettheywer eenj oying
theirmen' sstuff
.

Whenwegothome, Tot
ihelpdmepackwhi l
e
Ayandawaswithdad,baba(dad'stwi
n)
baba(Ayanda'
sfat
her),
babomdala(dad's
brot
her)andAy
anda'sunclesint
hesitt
ing
room.
OkTotii
snaught yani
na-idea, shemademe
packal
lthesexyandshortclothes,Li
nger
ie
andsamef orAyanda.Wewer elaughi
ngand
shewasgivingmesomet ipsonwher ewe
shoul
dgowhenwewer et
here.

Me:"argggTot
i,am Isupposet
ohav
ethi
s
conv
ersat
ionwi
thyou? "
Tot
i:"y
esdarli
ng, i
fIdon'
ttell
youthi
sthi
ngs
whowil
l,
I'
m notjustyourmotherbuty
ourbi
g
si
si"
Me:"No!!youaremymot herandthi
s
conv
ersat
ionisoverhhabe,unjani
vel
e
maDlomo"
Toti
:"hoshdadeuzoshi
yway indodawena
l
ibel
euzi
phathi
saokwesalukaziphel
aAy anda
muhle,i
fyouactl
ikea46y earolduzakushiy
a
kul
aBahamas"
Me:
"don'
tunder
est
imat
eme"
Tot
i:"goodl
uck"
Me: "I
'
m scar
edandnervouskodwaToti
,
nev
erbeingoutofSout
hAfri
ca,whati
fweget
l
ost"
Tot
i:"t
rustmey
ouwon'
tandwewi
l
lbeaf
one
cal
l
eraway"
Me: "pl
easemakesur
emyhousei
scl
ean
bef
oreyouleav
e"
Tot
i:"i
tsal
way
scl
eannj
e,akhoni
xif
una
ucl
enwala"
Me:
"Imeant
heonei
nWhi
tewat
ers"
Tot
i:"doy
ouhav
eahouset
her
e,si
ncewhen?
"
Me: "Ionl
yfoundouttoni
tenamit
hatt
he
housewewer einisact
ual
lymyhouse,my
husbandboughtit"
Tot
i:"no,
that
'snott
rue"
Me:"t
rustme,
nami
Iwasl
i
key
ouwhen
Ay
andatol
dme"
Tot
i:"Congr
atsmybaby,
youar
eonel
uckygal
"
Me: "IknowandthankyounakuniMadl omofor
rai
si
ngmet hewayyoudidmaybeify ouwere
fi
rm withmekwasekucaleni
,Iwouldn'tbe
whereIam today,
thankyouagain"Ijustgotso
emotional
Me: "comeheremybaby"wehuggedal ong
one,Iwassniff
ingwhil
eTotiwasbr
ushingmy
backandfunnypartwewerebothcr
ying,
i
ziny
embezi zi
kaTotiar
ejustl
ikemi
ne, once
zi
qalenguwaya-waya

Ay
anda:
"isi
tsaf
etocomei
n"
Tot
i:"comei
nmkhul
u"
Ay
anda:
"ar
eyouok"
Tot
i:"wear
emyAngel ,
itst
hiswi
feofy
our
s
whomakesthi
sol
dladyweeps"
Ay
anda:
"that
'sbhabhaf
ory
ou"
Tot
i:"l
etmel
eav
eyout
hen,
Iwi
l
ltakePaddl
e
popwit
hme"
Me:
"uzol
alakuphi
?"
Tot
i:"wi
thus"
Me:
"ar
eyousur
e?"
Tot
i:"y
esAngel
"
Ayanda:"I
'
m donemaki
ngherbot
tl
es,
zise
nurser
y"
Toti
: "t
hanksmkhul
u"shesai
dhergoodby
es
andleft

Ay
anda:
"babazal
alangendl
alanamhl
anj
e"
Me:
"si
esAy
anda"Ihi
thi
schest
Ay
anda:
"ser
ious"
Me:
"youar
esodi
rt
yYanda"
Ayanda:"Iwasj
ustsay
ingbhabha"hewas
l
aughing

ThethoughtofdadandTotimaki
nglov
emade
mewannav omi
t.Bythet
imewewenttobedit
wasafter2am i
nthemorning,
ourfl
i
ghtwasat
11:30am.

Wegoti
nbed

Ay
anda:
"sonami
ndi
dlal
ai-cr
ickett
oni
te"
Me: "youmeanthi
smor ni
ngandyesYanda,
youknowhowt hi
ngsgetcrazywi
thusandour
parent
sareher
e"
Ayanda:"kancanebhabha,okouMtungwa
bebuhl
ungusincewewer edi
stur
bedbyPaddl
e
pop"
Me:
"noYanda"
Ayanda:"pleasemam'uKhumal
o,acel
a
uNana"heimitat
edPaddlepop'
svoi
ce,Ibur
st
i
nlaughter

Me:
"youar
ecr
azywena,
sleeppl
ease"
Ay
anda:
"yhoondi
vi
njwal
i
ve"
Me: "l
alahl
eYandaorel
sewecanj
ustki
ss
Bahamasgoodbye"
Ay
anda:
"youar
eunf
airkodwaI
nga"

Foll
owingday,weweredoneTot ianddadwere
taki
ngustotheair
port,
whenwegett hethe
Khumaloswerether
ealreadyincl
udingKamva
andsisiLi
zzy,
wecheckedi n

Me:"a20hrand2minf l
ight,whatki
ndofa
fl
i
ghti
sthat?
"Isai
dt hatlooki
ngatmyticket
si
nceIdi
dn'
tbot
herlookingattheonesToti
bought
.
Tot
i:"af
li
ghtt
oNassauAngel
"
Me: "noIhavechangedmymindTot i
,I'
m not
going,Ican'
tsi
tonafli
ghtf
or20hr,Igetbored
yi2hr,howmuchmor e18hrmorecha"
Tot
i:"youmustbegl
adyouwi
llbeinbusiness
cl
ass,whatwer
eyougoi
ngtosayifIbooked
aneconomycl
ass"
Me:"ayhi
i
i nj
e,busi
nessoreconomykuyefana
hour
sarethesameitsonl
ythetreat
mentthat'
s
nott
hesame"Isulked.
Ayanda:"Iwi
llbeyourpi
l
lowi
fyoudon'
twanna
adj
ustyoursi
tint
obed"
Me:
"ar
gggmaar
nAy
anda"
Toti:"andr
ememberi
tsa2stopfl
i
ghtAngel
that
'swhyit
s30hr
,Idi
dn'
tgeta1stop"
Me:
"what
'st
hatnow?
Me:
"youwi
l
lsee"
Me:
"ay
hii
njel
i
fei
ssounf
air"

Wesaidourgoodby es,
huggedeverybodythat
wasit,
Iwassohear tbroken,
Ibrokedown
whenIhadtokissPaddlepopandmychi l
d
seemedstr
ongerthanmeshedi dn'
tcryandI
knowhermayekugogo

Ubenat
hi:"al
il
aNina"sheputhersmal
lhand
i
nmyf aceIhel
ditagai
nstmycheek
Me:
"ki
ss,
kissnana"shegi
ggl
ed.
Ubenat
hi.:"i
ss,i
ssNina"wedi dmmmmmmm-
mete,Ayandatookherandbr oughthercloser
i
nhischestandhuggedher, Iwenttojoinithe
hel
dmewi thhisotherhand
Ayanda:"begoodt
ogogoandmkhul
umy
Angel"
Thatwasit,weboarded.Wedepartedat11:
45
am ,1h15minut
eslatert
otheschedul
edtime.
i
twasby ebyeSouthAfri
caandBahamashere
wecome. .
..

I
ngakaYanda;
-
)