Transcript - “Listening Time” Episode 132

Welcome to the Listening Time podcast. Hey everybody, this is Conner, and
you're listening to Episode 132 of the Listening Time podcast. Thank you all for
listening. I hope that your English learning is going great. I hope that you feel motivated
to continue on with your listening practice and keep on doing what you're doing and
just trust that you're improving even if the process seems slow. I want to encourage
you to keep on going. And thank you for listening and using this podcast as one of
your tools to help you with your English.
Today, I'm going to talk about a really interesting topic that I think is relevant to
every single one of us. The topic is introverts and extroverts. You've probably heard
these words before, and I'll talk a little bit more in detail about these things in just a
minute.
But the topic of introverts and extroverts is really interesting, because it's related
to us, our personality, how we interact with other people, how we feel about ourselves
and our environments. Depending on if you're an introvert or an extrovert, this has a lot
of in uence over your life. So, I think this is a very important topic to talk about. And
so, I'm excited for this one today.
Before we get started, remember to sign up for my US Conversations podcast if
you feel ready to start practicing with real conversations so that you can take your
listening to the next level. The link is down below. That's www.patreon.com/
USConversations And if you want my specialized training to help you listen better and
pronounce better, and if you want my advanced podcast episodes, then make sure to
check out my membership. And you can become a Listening Time Family Member if
you want those advanced episodes in particular. The link is also down below. That's
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And if you like this podcast, please share it. Please send it to your friends or
your family members who might bene t from it. And please give it a ve-star rating and
write a review if you can. Alright, let's get started.
Okay, let's talk about introverts and extroverts. We're also going to talk about
one other type of person, an ambivert. We'll get into that later. But most people are just
familiar with introverts and extroverts, these two ends of the spectrum. Remember that
when we talk about the “ends of a spectrum,” we're talking about the two opposite
extremes on some scale, right? So, on one end, we have introverts, and on the other
end, we have extroverts.
So, what is an introvert? Well, an introvert has many characteristics and
extroverts do as well. So, let me talk about some of them. An introvert is usually
characterized as being someone who is generally quiet and reserved. You don't have to
be extremely quiet or extremely reserved. But in general, you're more quiet and
reserved than an extrovert, let's say.
And when people think of introverts, they usually think of people that can be a
little bit shy around people they don't know, around strangers. The word “strangers”
just refers to people that you're not familiar with, people you don't know. These are
strangers. So, introverts are often a little shy, or maybe really shy, around strangers.
And they can be shy in group settings. So, if there are a lot of people, and you're
all talking together, if you're an introvert, you might nd it hard to speak up and be the
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center of attention and control the conversation. That might be hard for you if you're an
introvert and you're in a group setting. So, if you're an introvert, you tend to be a little
bit more quiet or reserved or shy, especially around people you don't know, or in large
groups.
However, if you're around people that you do know, and people you feel
comfortable with, then you're probably not the same as if you were with a group of
strangers, let's say. You’re probably going to seem a lot more social, less shy, less
reserved, around people that you do know. So, in general, introverts can be quiet and
reserved. However, that's more around people and in situations that are unfamiliar to
them, right? If you're an introvert, that doesn't mean you're always quiet and reserved,
right? I want to di erentiate there.
Another characteristic of introverts, and I think that this is the biggest one, or
one of the biggest ones, is that introverts tend to feel drained by social situations.
When we say that you're “drained” by something, this means that your energy is taken
away. It decreases. It is depleted. It is drained. So, introverts tend to feel drained by
social situations.
So, after a social situation, you might feel exhausted, and you might feel like you
need some alone time. You want to just go home and be by yourself for a while. That's
a really common characteristic of an introvert. So, that's one of the biggest ones. You
tend not to feel super energized and recharged from social situations. It’s the opposite.
You feel like you're drained, and you need some alone time afterwards.
That doesn't mean that you just don't like social situations. That's not always
the case. But you just feel exhausted from those situations. And you actually get
energized in solitude. “Solitude" just refers to being alone. So, being alone actually
energizes you if you're an introvert. You feel like you're regaining your energy. You feel
like your battery is being charged again. That's another characteristic of introverts.
And another trait that introverts might have is that they tend to process a lot of
thoughts in their head rather than say things out loud all the time. By the way, the word
“trait” just means characteristic or quality. So, introverts have this trait often where they
think things through in their head. They’re very thoughtful. They process a lot of
thoughts in their mind. They don't think out loud, as we might say, where they're just
talking and saying, what comes to their mind right away. And they tend to be analytical
in that way, that they think through things silently without necessarily talking. So, that's
another trait.
And one other trait of introverts, which can de nitely be a weakness sometimes,
is that introverts often avoid confrontation. Introverts often have a hard time
confronting people when they need to. I'm sure a lot of you can identify with this
feeling, that when you have to confront someone, in maybe an uncomfortable situation,
you dread this. When someone “dreads” something, this means that they anticipate
something with fear and negativity.
So, I'm sure some of you feel this dread when you have to confront someone
and talk to them about something that's uncomfortable or something that isn't right, or
whatever. It can be hard for introverts to do this. So, that one can be a weakness,
because there are many times when we need to confront people. And so, that's going
to cause some pain, some anxiety for introverts when those situations arise. So, that's
another characteristic.
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 And how about extroverts? Let's talk about extroverts now. So, extroverts are
generally described as being outgoing. So, when you're “outgoing," this means that
you're someone who naturally talks and engages people, and is able to produce
conversation and… and talk to people and be social in a natural way. So, extroverts
tend to be like this.
Extroverts usually enjoy social settings, and they thrive in social settings. When
you “thrive,” we're saying that you do really well. You succeed or excel in some area.
So, extroverts thrive in social settings, usually. And extroverts actually enjoy having this
attention, of being in a group, being around other people, and actually having the
attention on them.
I'm sure if you're an introvert, that sounds crazy to you, right, because you
probably don't like having the attention on you. You don't like being the center of
attention in a group of people. However, extroverts often have no problem with this.
Extroverts can feel con dent in talking and being the center of attention. And they
aren't constantly feeling self conscious about themselves and what they're saying.
Extroverts can thrive a lot more in group settings and being in the spotlight.
“Being in the spotlight” means that you are the center of attention. So, extroverts don't
mind being in the spotlight sometimes. So, that's a big di erence from introverts, of
course.
And contrary to introverts, extroverts can actually feel energized in social
situations. They actually feel like they're getting energy when they're around other
people and talking and engaging… maybe even complete strangers, who knows? But
they can feel energized by this, and they don't go home afterwards and say, “Oh man,
that was so hard. I need to go and be by myself for ve hours,” right? They probably
don't feel like that. They feel that they have been recharged and energized from that
social situation.
So, extroverts don't need as much solitude. Extroverts don't need to be alone as
much. And that can sometimes be a disadvantage of being an extrovert, is that
sometimes extroverts have trouble being alone. It might be hard for them to be in
solitude, and they might feel bad or anxious when they spend more time alone. So, that
can sometimes be a negative. Not all extroverts feel like that, but some do, and so
that's something to be aware of as well.
And extroverts can often have many friends. They might have a very large circle
of friends. And they don't feel anxious about the fact that they have such a big, thriving
social life. It's natural for them.
And extroverts are often more assertive. So, they're not as afraid of
confrontation as introverts are. So, extroverts can be more assertive and actually be
more comfortable saying what they need to say, confronting other people, talking
about that uncomfortable topic, and just confrontation in general. Extroverts tend to be
more comfortable with that. So, that can be a big advantage of being an extrovert,
because you don't have that same anxiety when it comes to confrontation.
And one other trait of extroverts that is sometimes true, not always, but this can
sometimes be a weakness, is that sometimes certain extroverts might be more easily
distracted. So, remember how I talked about introverts being a little bit more quiet and
analytical in their thought process? Introverts often learn through observation, and are
very thoughtful and spend a lot of time processing thoughts in their head.
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 Extroverts can do that, too. But there's also a tendency for some extroverts to
be more distracted, maybe less focused, and spend less time in careful observation, in
thoughtful observation. So, they might be more distracted in certain situations, and
might not spend as much time just observing one thing and thinking and processing
one idea. They might go from one to the next. Right?
So, you might disagree with that if you're an extrovert, because you might not
have that trait. But when I was doing some research online, that was one of the traits
that came up, was that extroverts can sometimes be like that. So, that might be a
negative for some extroverts.
And how about the last category, ambiverts? So, I talked about introverts and
extroverts being on the opposite ends of the spectrum. But there are also ambiverts,
which would kind of be like in the middle, so not completely introverted and not
completely extroverted. They're kind of in the middle. And I think a lot of people fall in
this category here. A lot of you are probably ambiverts to some degree.
And some people might make the argument that all of us have extrovert and
introvert traits, but some of us are more extroverted, and some of us are more
introverted. So, that might be valid as well, but I want to talk about the category of
ambiverts just to talk about the middle ground here, the middle of the scale.
Because, in general, for me, if someone were to ask me, "Are you an introvert or
an extrovert?” I would 100% say, “introvert.” I'm de nitely more of an introvert than an
extrovert. However, if I want to be a little bit more speci c, I would say that I'm more of
an ambivert. I would say that I'm more of a social introvert.
That's kind of the phrase that I prefer, because I'm de nitely not an extrovert, in
general. I’m de nitely more of an introvert. However, I'm an introvert that can, at times,
seem like an extrovert. And I think that this is the key here when I talk about being an
ambivert, or a social introvert, is that in certain situations, we can actually seem like
extroverts. So, if the context is right, we can start to display a lot of extrovert
tendencies and qualities, but in other situations, we're just classic introverts.
So, I'm sure some of you might be able to identify with that, that, in general,
you're an introvert; however, there are certain situations where you suddenly change,
and it's like you're an extrovert. So, depending on the context, the environment, your
mood, the topic that people are talking about, who is around you… depending on
these factors, you might suddenly seem like a complete extrovert, and then afterwards,
go back to being an introvert.
So, that's kind of how I feel. There are certain situations in which I feel like I want
to have more attention. I want to talk. I want to engage people. I feel outgoing. I feel
energized. I want to be around these particular people in this situation. Sometimes, I
actually feel like that.
But in general, that's not my natural feeling. In general, I don't want to be the
center of attention. I'm not the most outgoing person. I really enjoy solitude. I really
enjoy being by myself. I can be by myself for hours or days, nonstop, and feel great.
So, obviously, I'm an introvert, because an extrovert wouldn't say that.
However, in certain situations, it's like someone ips a switch, and then I'm an
extrovert. When we say that someone “ ips a switch,” think of someone turning a light
on. They’re ipping the light switch, and suddenly, it's light. So, this is a gurative
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expression that we use to talk about something changing in an instant. So, sometimes,
it's like someone ipped a switch, and I'm suddenly an extrovert.
However, even in those situations, after the situation is over, after I go home,
let's say, I feel drained. So, even when I act and feel like an extrovert, afterwards, I
want my solitude. I want to be alone. So, as you can see, I'm not an extrovert, but I'm a
social introvert. I enjoy talking to people. I enjoy conversation. I enjoy social contexts.
However, in these contexts, I often feel more reserved. I feel drained. I don't want to be
the center of attention. So, I'm more introverted, in that sense.
And what's the best thing to be? Is it best to be an introvert, an extrovert, an
ambivert? Well, there's no best thing, of course. This is just our personality. However, I
think it's best for us to understand and identify what type of person we are, and then
focus on the possible weaknesses that we might have, because we're an introvert or
because we're an extrovert, or because we're an ambivert.
Focus on the weaknesses, the things that can be di cult for us, and try to train
in those areas, because you can get better at certain things. If you're an introvert, you
can train yourself and get better in social settings. You can do that. And if you're an
extrovert, you can train yourself to enjoy solitude more. So, you can get better in these
areas. So, in summary, I think that there's no best type, but we should all focus on
improving our weaknesses in these areas.
Alright, I hope this episode was interesting for you and it was good practice for
your listening. If you feel ready, I encourage you to sign up for my US Conversations
podcast so you can practice with real conversations and actually understand multiple
people when they're talking to each other. That's a really important step in your
language learning process, to be able to understand multiple native speakers talking
with each other. So, go down and click on the link below to sign up. That's
www.patreon.com/USConversations
And if you want my training to help you become a better listener and to
pronounce better, then make sure to sign up for my membership. The link is also down
below. And if you like this podcast, please share it with anyone else you know who's
learning English, and give it a ve-star rating and write a review. Alright, thank you for
listening to this episode, and I'll talk to you on the next episode of Listening Time.
*US Conversations Podcast: www.patreon.com/USConversations
*Get my training and advanced episodes: www.patreon.com/listeningtime
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