Sample 9: Moderator Comments
Sample 9: Moderator Comments
Sample 9: Moderator Comments
General comments
Interesting in this example is the extensive referencing but it is not intrusive and the detail contained therein is largely explanatory of the points raised rather than an obvious attempt to circumvent word limit levels.
Criterion A
In this tightly focused plan of investigation the student has shown evidence of context and a clearly articulated research question that permits the student to work towards providing a balanced judgment after a consideration of factors. The way in which the task is then broken down and areas of investigation noted to allow for a judgment to be reached reveals a succinct and focused coverage of scope and method. While it only uses 105 words, the student has set the scene for what follows in terms of organization in the following section.
Criterion B
The summary of evidence has been treated in bullet-point form. This can help to avoid the tendency of students to venture into the field of analysis. The section requires the selection and deployment of evidence that can be used as the basis for analysis in section D. The use of sub-headings has aided in the organization of the factual material. Most of these sub-headings are based on the areas identified in the previous section (with some relevant additions such as Lenins Pragmatism).This organization of material, based upon what has been identified in section A, has much merit in terms of keeping the investigation focused. Referencing is very full and largely accurate in the use of a consistent method of footnoting. The footnotes are a mixture of referencing of detail as well as information footnotes clarifying content. The details are appropriate and cover most of what is identified as the appropriate themes or factors in section A. There are points which are not always clearly explained or where the significance is not clear (see Lenins Pragmatism and the fourth bullet point, for example).
Criterion C
The source types selectedone textual and one visualare appropriate and relevant. There is explicit coverage of the necessary OPVL areas for each source and the student has gone beyond generalizations about bias and dealt quite specifically with the problematic nature of the selected sources. There are elements of description of content but these are followed by relevant critical evaluation and comment associated with this brief description. The student has shown sufficient understanding of the process of evaluation to meet the demands expressed in level 45 of section C.
Criterion D
The section is effectively referenced. It refers to a variety of historians views in an integrated fashion in the analysis. The critical commentary is largely consistent with what has been stated in section B, though there could have been some evidence of awareness of the significance to the investigation of the sources evaluated in section C. There is a well-written and balanced coverage of factors in this 714-word section.
Criterion E
The conclusion could be better written (see the claim that Trotsky was the major benefactor, perhaps better as a major benefactor) but it is clear enough and consistent with the evidence provided. In this case a best-fit approach would result in a mark at the top of the level for section E.
Criterion F
The works are set out according to a standard bibliographical convention. The sources used are appropriate to the area of study and are largely text based. Most are secondary, with some primary sources.