Personal Narrative

As many people’s lives are, my life has been a series of ups and down. There have been

incredibly high peaks as well as massively deep valleys (practically trenches). There have been

times where it almost quite literally felt as if my world was falling apart and my future was

hopeless, and then there were times where I felt utterly unstoppable. How do we as humans go

through such distinctly polar opposite times and events, and manage to come out on the other

side? How do we build up enough strength to forge through life in our darkest moments and

periods of remarkable uncertainty? What are the things we grip close to our chest to keep us

grounded and give us the motivation and power to make one more step forward?

In this personal narrative, I will take you on a journey throughout my life’s story. I will

share some of my peak moments and memories, as well as discuss my most troubling times that

taught me priceless lessons. Each of these periods of time are a vital part of me no matter how

beautiful or wretched some may seem. Maya Angelou said “I can be changed by what happens to

me. But I refuse to be reduced by it”. This is something I had to learn throughout my life and am

still learning to this day. I can let the difficulties in life tie me down or I can take a risk by

stepping of the ledge, open up my wings and soar.

Childhood

It was a sunny afternoon in Charlottesville, Virginia. The sky was a rich azure blue without a

single cloud in sight. My 10 year old self sat in the grass next to our family’s double wide trailer.

My overalls had grass stains on the knees and on my bottom from me scooting around next to the

walls of our home preoccupied with my latest fascination. As I sat there for hours, I watched
very intently about fifty to seventy five caterpillars make their way from the grass to the sides of

the trailer. They were everywhere! I watched as their little fuzzy black and orange bodies slowly

made their ascent. Some of them would have half of their bodies hanging off the wall and doing

a little wave, almost like they were saying hi to me. I would pick one up occasionally and let it

run up and down my hand or my forearm before gently placing it back on the wall with its

friends. Little did I know that this cute and fuzzy little creature would soon undergo a grand

transformation where it would soon take flight, embarking on a new and magical journey beyond

the grass and my trailer. Soon I would be just like that caterpillar and sprout my own wings to

take me to unforeseen places as well. But not yet.

I grew up in a very broken family with parents who got divorced when I was about eight

years old. My dad was a cheating, abusive alcoholic and my mom stayed home to take care of

myself and my three other siblings. I am the oldest of four, and after my mom had finally built up

the courage to take us and leave my dad, I felt a great sense of responsibility to care for my

siblings while my mom picked up a waitressing job to pay the bills. This forced me to become an

adult rather quickly. I showed my siblings how to do their own laundry, how to make ramen or

mac and cheese, as well as how to mow the grass. Even though we were mini adults, we were

still rough-housing kids at heart and always seemed to be exploring something. We loved to go

catch tadpoles in the creek, makes forts in the forest, and I had grown a rather extensive secret

rock collection in a nearby tree stump. Being outside and wandering around was better than

being at home. It always felt dark and depressing in there. When we were at my mom’s house

there was this air of deep sadness. I remember watching my mom cry very often and I just didn’t

understand it all at the time.

punching walls. My dad had severe anger problems. I watched him fix the same spot on the dry

wall many times over the years. We always walked on eggshells around him because we were

always afraid to get on his bad side and potentially be his next victim. It was honestly a blessing

when he was out for the day or working, because when he was home, I ended up being verbally

abused or physically abused. My dad would constantly point out my flaws and my biggest

insecurities. I was a little overweight and he would always mention how fat I was. There was one

time I was extremely sick for a week, and I had lost about 10 pounds and he told me that he was

so happy I had lost weight even though I was very ill. He would make fun of what I wear, what I

liked, how I talked, everything. I never understood why he couldn’t love me for me.

As I continued to grow up and into my teen years, my self-esteem had plummeted

drastically. I had a hard time making friends because of how shy I had become. And when I did

try to make friends, the girls would tell me to leave them alone and then laugh at me as they

walked away. I was bullied numerous times. A girl on the bus would intimidate me by standing

over me and calling me names. Another girl threatened to fight me after school. Because of how

I was treated at home and even at school, it made me never want to be around people. I was

afraid to talk to anyone or let anyone in. All I knew or thought was that I’m not the kind of

person people liked. I would never be enough. I just needed to stay where it’s safe. I could be my

own refuge. Even though deep down inside I desperately wanted to be like the caterpillar and

grow my wings. I just didn’t know how. Would things ever change? When would my time finally

come?
 Leaving Virginia

After graduating high school, I reluctantly started taking classes at my local community

college. My mom practically forced me to go because she was afraid that I would never get a

degree if I didn’t go directly after high school. I tried to explain to her that I simply wasn’t ready

yet. I had already barely graduated from high school due to my lack of focus and I truly knew

that I was not in the right headspace to take on the challenge of college. But with my mom’s

persuasion I enrolled in classes. Unfortunately, my future was not looking too bright there either.

I had gotten involved with some friends that were not the best for me, and since I had finally

found a few people who accepted me, I clung to them like a leech. We were inseparable. With

them, I got into a lot of terrible habits like smoking, too much partying, and just an overall

attitude of not caring about much else. I skipping quite a few classes and my grades were

dropping rapidly. I ended up calling it quits and took a break from school. I knew my mom was

disappointed, especially since I was her first born. She had a lot of dreams for me that she never

fulfilled herself. My dad was a high school dropout and although my mom graduated from high

school, she never went to college and it seemed like she always regretted it. This became more

apparent as her aspirations were being pushed onto me. I wanted to set my own course in life, but

I wasn’t sure what that really looked like, so until I figured all of that out, I was just living my

nonchalant life with my friends that I had always longed for.

Until one day, a girl that I used to go to church with told me about a bible college she

went to down in Florida and how much she loved it. For some reason, her story about her

experiences there and all of the great things she had accomplished really made me want to go as

well. During this time, I was starting to get really sick of the partying lifestyle and I was tired of

feeling like I wasn’t going anywhere. I wanted a fresh start and I wanted to have hope for my
future again. So, I ended up applying and got in! The Fall of 2011 I packed all of my bags and

my mom drove me down to Fort Myers, Florida. Because I considered this to be my fresh start, I

quit smoking cold turkey and never looked back. I’m so thankful that I did.

When I got there, I met my roommates and some girls living in nearby dorms. I was

surprised by how welcoming everyone was and I started making friends almost instantly. Me and

one girl named Melissa hit it off right away. We talked and talked for hours, and I couldn’t

believe how similar our life stories were. We both had dealt with a lot of the same stuff, body

image issues, and various other insecurities. We became extremely close throughout the two

years I was there. We laughed together, cried together, helped each other get through tough times,

and supported one another. She pushed me to get out of my comfort zone and take risks.

Through this school I ended up doing incredible things like speaking in front of crowds

of hundreds of people, sharing my story with others, and being a mentor to other struggling girls

along the way. Looking back on it, it is quite remarkable how someone as broken as I was, now

had the ability to lift up other people. And I owe a lot of that to people like Melissa who believed

in me and helped me be greater than the person I was who originally showed up on campus.

After those two years, Melissa and I went our separate ways. I moved back to Virginia to figure

out a career path and what I wanted to do next, and she stayed in Florida. Even though I couldn’t

see her all the time, we still stayed in touch frequently. She was always someone I could count on

to be there for me and I for her. She was one of those people in your life who change you for the

better and stay in your life forever, which is extremely rare. I have always had many people

come and go in my life during certain seasons, but Melissa was a constant. She was my rock and

someone who kept my mind where it needed to be to move ahead. My time in Florida is where I

entered my cocoon. I was beginning to change. This was the start of my great transformation.
 Working Life

When I moved back to Virginia, I stayed with my mom until I was able to get a job and

get my own apartment. I began working at a women’s boutique as a sales associate and

absolutely fell in love with working in retail. The boutique had become a home away from home

for me. It was a spectacular little store filled to the brim with a vast selection of clothing,

handbags, jewelry, accessories, and a bunch of nifty little tchotchkes. It had beautiful bright

yellow walls with different art pieces as well as funny or inspirational quotes. I especially loved

the old hard wood floors with fashionable rugs scattered about that gave it that homey feel. We

always had candles burning, so it smelled like notes of sweet citrus and tropical fruits. It was a

very tiny store, with something to catch your eye at every turn. A fashion-lover’s dream.

I very quickly learned the ropes around the store and was able to enhance my sales

techniques. I also had become rather good at styling customers and designing thoughtfully

curated outfits for them from head to toe. If anything, this felt more like fun for me than a “job”.

I worked my way up from sales associate to key holder, to assistant manager within a year’s

time. My store manager was a woman that I grew very fond of and looked up to immensely. She

was there from the start of my career at the boutique, teaching me everything along the way. She

was very patient with me and took the time to show me little tricks and secrets to develop my

merchandising and sales skills. Within a few months of me becoming assistant manager, she had

told me that she would be moving onto a bigger position within the company and that the store

would be left up to me if I wanted it. I had been promoted. I was very passionate about this

business, and I had never carried so much responsibility before, so I took this very seriously.

She coached me in how to be a successful store manager and then left me to it. I had been

entrusted with this marvelous boutique and I wasn’t going to let her down. I learned some very
important lessons along the way, like how to lead teams effectively, how to motivate your

employees, how to gain buy-in, and how to create a unified vision. This did not come easily.

Many associates gave me a great deal of push-back at first as they challenged my leadership and

authority. I had to set clear boundaries and standards. This also meant sticking to them

consistently. The employees who were giving me a hard time, eventually came around to me and

others who couldn’t get on board ended up leaving. The majority who stayed were deeply

committed to their jobs and the empowering culture I had tried so hard to create there. They were

dedicated and hard-working women who wanted to be a part of the store’s success.

We ended up reaching our sales goals time and time again, even when other businesses in

the area were struggling. My old store manager frequently stopped by to go over the business

and she continued to pour her time and attention into me and helped me grow not only as a

manager, but as a leader and a person as well. She was someone who showed me that when I can

put aside my ego for a second and be willing to learn and take advice, that I can go much further

in my endeavors. I made it a point to stay open to her feedback and criticism, but she also was

able to balance it out very well with encouragement and a pat on the back. I knew that what she

was saying wasn’t just to say it, but that it was genuine. Her inspirational leadership changed my

own and with her, I was able to build a strong foundation to take my leadership to unforeseen

heights.

Venture up North

It was now the summer of 2014 and I had started a long-distance relationship with a lovely man I

had previously met when I lived in Fort Myers, Florida. We had gone to the same school together

and for some reason this summer we had reconnected again. Except this time, we began to grow
our friendship and it ended up turning into something a lot more serious. He had moved to

Minnesota from Florida for a job. He would come visit me in Virginia and I would visit him in

Minnesota. We both were tired of the constant back and forth, but knew we wanted to be

together, so I took a huge leap of faith and moved to the midwest to be with him. Another two

years had passed by and before I knew it, I was wearing a long and flowy white lace dress and

carrying a bouquet of sunflowers. I slowly made my way down the aisle in the rose garden, with

the sun shining extra bright that day. I held onto my brother Zach’s arm while my gaze was set

on my soon-to-be husband before my brother gave me away. With tears in both of our eyes, we

said our vows and from that day forward we set out to devote ourselves to one another while

creating an unimaginable life together. This was one of the happiest days of my life.

As we stayed in Minnesota, our perfect start to marriage took a drastic turn. The cold and

dreary winters were beginning to affect me greatly mentally. I once was a beaming newlywed,

and now one year into our marriage, I had found myself into a deep depression. I was no longer

motivated to work, I had gained a massive amount of weight, and I began struggling with things

in my mind I have never struggled with before. Thoughts of not wanting to be on this Earth

anymore were taking over after panic attack after attack would cease to relent. My husband

Eddie was doing his best to support me and try to carry me out of this darkness, but it ended up

hurting him as well. He also found himself feeling less motivated at work because of how much

we were struggling at home. His bosses began to notice and unfortunately, he was let go. This

news would have absolutely destroyed us, but if it weren’t for his parents, I honestly don’t know

how we would have made it through. They told us “Don’t worry. Come back down to Florida

and we will take care of you until you can get back on your feet”. So, we did just that. They
outstretched their arms to pull us in from the storm, and we both found a small glimmer of hope

again.

Here Comes the Sun

It was now the Spring of 2019 and we had moved our whole lives, along with our two

cats Gunther and Luka to West Palm Beach, Florida to live with Eddie’s family to hit reset on our

lives. Eddie ended up finding a job working for a major airline and I began going to beauty

school. I became a licensed electrologist, laser hair removal tech, and an esthetician in 6 months’

time. During this season of life, I made significant efforts to improve my mental health. The

warmer climate, palms trees, and the beach certainly seemed to be a huge help as well. While I

was doing my best to heal my mind, I also wanted to help others nourish their souls as well, and I

found this through helping people with taking better care of their skin. Taking care of yourself

has major therapeutic effects, as well as making you feel more confident in your own skin. I

found so much joy in being able to give people a path to healthier skin, whether that be clearing

up acne, reversing sun damage, or assisting people with getting back that youthful glow, among

many other things.

After I graduated from beauty school, Eddie and I were able to get our own place again

and I found a job working for a plastic surgeon for her new start up med spa. There, I was able to

work with some incredible high-tech equipment and practice my services all day long while we

were trying to get the business off of the ground. I learned how to market and run the social

media for the business. I also learned a few different medical software. I learned and trained with

many sales reps about a wide array of products, services, and instruments. I took in as much
knowledge as I could because I wanted to not only help get this business running full speed

ahead, but I wanted to be the best esthetician and laser tech I could possibly be.

As time went on, my co-workers and I started to notice many unsettling things about our

boss the head doctor and plastic surgeon. She unfortunately had a bit of a temper and would take

out much of her anger and frustration on us. She was spending untold amounts of money on the

business and things were not moving along as fast as she would have wanted. She became very

verbally abusive toward us, and her potential business partners were noticing her behavior as

well. While I was there, I watched as investors started pulling out left and right after seeing her

for her true colors. She was not this chipper and exuberant doctor she had previously made

herself out to be. She was angry and on a constant rampage. We began noticing her coming into

work worse and worse every day and began to suspect she had been coming in under the

influence. She also was unable to pay us on time many weeks and pushed us to the point where

we had to basically beg for our pay checks. We had reached beyond our limits of this being a

suitable work environment, so myself and more than half of the staff quit.

It was now January 2020 and I was looking for a job. Anything that I could get quickly

and that would help pay the bills. I decided to apply back to Starbucks even though I had

previously worked there before as a teenager. If I could get this job, I knew I could transition

easily back into the familiar territory and work there until I could figure out what my next steps

were career-wise. I was hired back as a supervisor. Things were starting to look up again after so

many ups and downs. I found myself surrounded by a group of talented and passionate people

and I had a feeling that great things were on the horizon. Could this be where I come out of my

cocoon?......Then one day everything changed. The whole world shut down and we were all left

wondering “What now?”.

Once Covid made its way around the world and everywhere began to close their doors,

the Starbucks location that I worked at decided to close their doors as well until we figured out

what to do next. During this time at home, I thought a lot about what paths I wanted to take and

what I really wanted to do with my future. My store manager was a constant voice in my ear

telling me that I should apply to Arizona State University through Starbuck’s college

achievement program where the company would pay for my tuition. She did ASU online as well

as many of my other co-workers. Eventually we all got back together once our store opened up

again in the middle of the summer. I continued to hear my fellow partners talk about how much

they loved ASU and how great their online classes were going, many of them nearing graduation.

I slowly warmed up to the idea of applying. I really wanted to change the trajectory of my life

and my career and start making even bigger strides toward my goals. My mind was finally in a

state where I felt more focused and like I could really go after this dream of doing more.

December came and I finally decided to apply.

After I submitted everything, within a few weeks I heard back from ASU and they told

me that I was not accepted. Due to my extremely poor grades in high school and community

college, I didn’t exactly make myself out to be the best student. I called the school on the verge

of tears. I was so distraught because I felt like I was ready for this next phase of life, but the

universe was telling me “No”. The staff member I spoke with at the school was more than

encouraging and spoke with me about another option I had which was to go through ASU’s

Pathway to Admissions program, where I could take a few online courses, do well in them, and

prove to the school that I was worthy to be accepted. I was not thrilled to have to take this extra

step, but I knew it was necessary and I really wanted to take this second chance to show myself
that I really was ready to go after my degree. I took one class at a time and realized that it really

wasn’t that bad. I was amazed. I thought “Wow, I think I can actually do this”. After completing

four classes with all A’s, I was finally accepted. I was officially a Sun Devil! Next, I chose to

major in Organizational Leadership with a minor in Anthropology. I started chipping away on all

of my classes, taking two at a time so that I could manage work and school at the same time. If I

was going to do this, I was going to do it right.

While I continued my ASU journey, I decided to embark on another journey as well. It

was March of 2023 and I had just had a regular check up with my doctor. I sat there hot, sweaty,

nervous, and red-faced on the bed with the bed paper crunching underneath my leggings with

any slight movement. The doctor’s office was one of the most miserable places for me. Each visit

we always talked about the same thing. My weight. We discussed me being obese and the battle I

had been facing with my eating disorder of binge eating my entire life. I continued to sit there

with my eyes welling up until I couldn’t hold it back anymore. My face was dripping as I

continued to listen to the doctor casually talk about my weight while I was having a mental

breakdown. I left the doctor’s office feeling defeated and like I didn’t know what to do next. The

only advice she offered me was to eat less and work out more, but I didn’t even know where to

begin. I called my mom up on the phone and told her what was going on and she told me about a

nutrition coach and trainer she had been working with. I didn’t really know what else to do, so I

reached out to coach Kendra and got started with her right away. I wasn’t entirely sure what to

expect, I just knew that doing something was better than nothing at all. I needed to change. My

life depended on it.

Kendra introduced me to a whole community of women who were focused on their health

and trying to make changes too. They became a great source of motivation for me. Some of them
were the most fit people I had ever seen in my life and some were like me who still had a ways to

go. But we all got together and built one another up. I followed a consistent routine of tracking

my macros (protein, carbs, and fat). I stayed within a slight calorie deficit, but I was astounded

by the fact that even though I was eating less, I never really felt too hungry. I don’t know why it

took me 30 years to understand that when you eat healthier, your body becomes more satisfied. I

also faced my fear of going to the gym and got a gym membership. I followed Kendra’s program

with strength training, and as I started to shed the pounds, the little bit of muscle I was growing

was starting to reveal itself. Who was this girl? Since I first started working with Kendra, I have

now lost almost seventy pounds and feel like a completely different person. I still have more

work to do, but I couldn’t believe that this chubby redneck girl with a rough childhood from

Virginia was now in probably the best shape for her life and held a 4.0 GPA. This may not mean

much to some people, but to me it is everything. I was on the way to making all of my dreams a

reality.

Conclusion

Seeing how far I have come throughout my life and all of the hardships I have faced and

overcome leaves me speechless. The little girl sitting outside of her trailer playing with the

caterpillars never imagined that I would ever set out to do most of the things that I have done, let

alone leave the state. I have progressed through multiple career changes, moved to several

different states, and even went back to school after thinking that I wasn’t cut out for it. There has

been a theme of doubting myself over and over again, but then having people in my path who

helped me cast out those doubts and fears and helped me realize my true potential. I have always
been smarter than I thought I was, stronger than I thought I was, and much more capable than I

thought I was.

Through each experience, through each trial and tribulation, I have come to see that

during those years I was still in my chrysalis, slowly becoming the person I am today. I learned

that life is so much more than just dreaming about who you want to be and what you want to

become. It is about doing. It is about the action you put behind those goals and dreams, otherwise

you will never get there. I learned from role models and inspirational people like my best friend

Melissa, my store manager at the boutique, my husband, my co-workers at Starbucks, and my

nutrition coach. They each taught me that you just have to throw yourself out there and do

whatever it takes, even if you do it scared.

By consistently doing things that scare me, I learned how to slowly build up my

confidence over time. I learned how to get 1% percent better every day. I just take it one step at a

time and eventually I find myself where I was looking to go. I had to learn to be patient with

myself and that my store is not going to look like someone else’s. There is no point in comparing

myself to other people, but instead I need to compare myself to the person I was the day before.

All of the small micro-changes I make every day build up to something grand over time. Now, I

don’t look at my goals as a matter of if I will ever reach them, but as a matter of when. There

have been numerous times I have been knocked down again, but each time I have to brush

myself off and just keep trudging ahead. The words that I tell myself are so powerful. I can’t just

sit there and sulk in defeat. I must keep telling myself that I will get there, that I will make it no

matter what, and then keep putting in the work that is required to reach the finish line. I can’t let

myself stay down for long. I have finally broken free from my cocoon, so now it is time for me

to lift up my chin, look to the skies, and fly.

the “Pro-Seminar II” tab so that I can continue to share my caterpillar story with others.