I'll be your muse

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/14905802.

Rating: Not Rated

Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: F/F
Fandom: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor, Samantha
"Sam" Arias/Alex Danvers, Alex Danvers & Kara Danvers
Characters: Kara Danvers, Lena Luthor, Alex Danvers, Samantha "Sam" Arias
Additional Tags: Fluff, Alternate Universe, Meet-Cute, Alternate Universe -
College/University, there's no supergirl, kalex sibling cuteness, alex is a
teasing ass, So is Sam, lena is an act model, art student kara, clumsy
kara, honestly kara's a gay mess in this one, Mutual Pining, Pining,
crushing kara, background agent reign, Alternate Universe - No Powers,
honestly no idea what else to tag, it's fluffy and cute and beautiful
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2018-06-11 Words: 12,759 Chapters: 1/1
 I'll be your muse
by heryellowcup

Summary

She’s sitting on a simple chair, stark naked, and Kara forgets how to breathe, just for a
second. Maybe more than that, perhaps a few too many. She vaguely remembers their prof
telling them about a model, but he has clearly left out some very important details. Like the
fact that she’s an act model, or the fact that she’s incredibly stunning in a way that makes
Kara’s heart stop momentarily, then speed up immensely right after.

Or, Kara is an art student in College/University and Lena is the stunning act model she
immediately falls for

Notes

What was supposed to be a very short one-shot turned into, well, this. Enjoy the fluff!!

All mistakes are mine.

See the end of the work for more notes

“Kara! It’s time!”

Alex’s voice is piercing, agitated, and yet Kara barely opens her eyes. She only moves so she
can pull the blanket back over her head and pretend that her sister isn’t currently screaming at
her, pretend that she doesn’t have to get up just yet. She knows that Alex is right, of course,
that she only has a few minutes left before she’s going to be seriously late; but her bed feels
so comfy and warm and all she wants is to bask in her half asleep state for a few more
moments. She buries her face in her pillow in an effort to drown out Alex’s voice, and the
rays of sunshine that caress her skin might as well be there for the sole purpose of disrupting
her peaceful sleep.

“Don’t wanna,” Kara mumbles, finally, but Alex keeps being persistent. Kara’s voice is
hoarse and quiet, and Alex barely understands her sleepy argument. She huffs, instead, pulls
the blonde’s covers off of her body in one swift motion - one that makes Kara groan out loud
and finally open her eyes in order to shoot an angry glare at Alex. “’s cold!”

Her voice is still barely above a whisper, though the sounds leaving her mouth now are
terribly close to a whine, as she tries to pull the blanket out of her sister’s hands. She’s
freezing now and she has give that to Alex, really, because she feels a lot less tired all of a
sudden. “That’s not fair! Can’t you let me sleep for once?”

“And let you fail all of your classes?” Alex asks, eyebrows raised in question, a stern look
painted onto her features. “I think it’s my responsibility as a big sister to not let you sleep in
every single day.”

Kara only rolls her eyes at that, rubs them tiredly and finally sits up properly. She runs her
hands through her hair in an effort to fix it, make it look somewhat presentable. She knows
she won’t get to take a shower this morning, knows Alex will shoo her out of the room as
soon as possible. “It’s just art.”

Kara almost winces when Alex suddenly snorts loudly and then proceeds to throw clothes at
her. “Just art, huh? Are you forgetting that it was your decision to major in said subject?”

She cocks an eyebrow at the blonde, pointedly, when all Kara does is grumble. The latter is
still unwilling to admit just how right Alex really is. In moments like this - pretty much every
morning (she’s tired, okay?) - Kara tends to question her decision to move in with her sister.
Sometimes she almost regrets said decision, though she also knows it had been a good one.
It’s great for both of them. She loves her sister, she really does, and once she had decided to
major in art, once she had decided to go to the same university as Alex, it had been the next
logical step. They had always gotten along great, had always been more friends than sisters,
and so neither of them had questioned Kara moving in for even one second.

And still they both glare at each other as Kara quickly brushes her teeth -- half-dressed -- her
hair still a mess. It’s a common occurrence and they both know they’ll love each other again
in less than a few hours, but tired Kara is incredibly grumpy and Alex is stubborn, frustrated,
just wants the best for her sister.
“You’re a pain in the ass,” Kara mumbles once she has finally managed to get dressed and is
about to walk out of the door. She can’t help her lips curving upwards ever so slightly when
Alex sticks out her tongue at her and messes her hair up all over again.

//

Of course Kara thinks she still has time to get coffee, knows she won’t survive one second of
the day without that stuff. She ends up being notably more late than necessary, and stumbles
into the room still half asleep - despite the coffee. And everyone turns around to look at her
when she tries to quietly make her way to the front where she knows Sam is sitting, but she’s
used to that as well, late more often than she’d care to admit. To Alex, especially.

What she’s not used to, however, is the dark-haired woman that’s now occupying the space in
front of them. She’s sitting in a chair, stark naked, and Kara forgets how to breathe, just for a
second. Or perhaps a few too many. She vaguely remembers their prof telling them about a
model joining them eventually, but he has clearly left out some very important details. Like
the fact that she’s an act model, or the fact that she’s incredibly stunning in a way that makes
Kara’s heart stop, then speed up immensely. She’s fumbling with the hem of her shirt as she
tries not to stare, as she tries to act normal and get to work like everyone else.

Instead, she can’t keep her eyes to herself. She can’t stop looking at her for more than a few
seconds and it results in her tripping into, then over, chairs while all she wants is to sit down
next to her friend.

Kara blushes this time, when everyone turns around to look at her once again. Her face is
bright red, her mouth slightly agape when between all of the faces that are now staring at her,
her eyes find those of a certain beautiful stranger. Kara’s not quite sure whether they’re green
or blue, but she knows the corners of them are wrinkling adorably as the woman chuckles
softly, her full lips captivating. Kara knows everyone’s still staring at her, knows that
everyone has clearly seen the way she’s looking at this woman. Sam, apparently taking pity
on her, nudges her shoulder playfully, mumbles a teasing “earth to Kara”.

“Yup! I’m here! Everything’s fine.” The words come out a tad too quickly and that added to
the fact that Kara’s still staring shamelessly, still blushing, still fumbling with her own
fingers, just makes Sam laugh even harder.

“You sure?” she asks, raising her eyebrows much like her sister had before. There’s that same
teasing smirk on her lips as well and Kara fights the urge to roll her eyes, knows that she
couldn’t if she tried. She barely manages to tear her eyes away from full lips in the first place.
“Because for a second here I really thought I lost you.”

Kara doesn’t even listen to Sam, bites her lips once she faces her friend. “Uhh who’s that?”

“Oh wow, you’ve got it bad alrea-“ Sam begins, then holds her hands up in surrender,
chuckles slightly when all Kara does is shoot her another look. “Fine. Her name is Lena,
apparently. We’re supposed to start with some simple gesture drawings as she moves through
her poses, then move on to some more detailed figure drawings. Oh and Mr. Andrews
specifically told us to stay professional, uhh, just so you know.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kara huffs, finally takes out her sketchbook and her
pencils, gets ready to get to work. She doesn’t listen to Sam ramble on about how Kara
basically drooled all over the woman from the moment she walked into the room, shrugs her
off instead, denies everything until the brunette keeps sketching as well.

Though Kara soon finds that all of this is a lot harder than she thought. While everyone else
seems to be sketching profusely, Kara’s having a hard enough time trying not to get
distracted, trying to figure out how to get started. She usually never struggles as much, all of
this coming naturally to her. She’s talented, she knows that, one of the best in her class, even,
and figure drawings are one of her many fortes. But as she sits there, studies every single part
of that gorgeous woman in front of her, she suddenly forgets everything about art she has
ever learned. She tries to sketch her, she really does, but Lena is perfect. And Kara is not sure
she’ll ever be able to capture this amount of beauty with a few simple strokes of her pencil.
She knows she can’t, knows it’s impossible. Nothing she comes up with seems to be enough,
and by the time Lena changes her pose again, Kara has nothing. It’s utterly frustrating.

Glancing over at Sam’s sketchbook, Kara sees that at least someone seems to be getting stuff
done. She’s drawn tons of simple gesture and figure drawings already and they’re beautiful.
Kara’s not sure why she’s suddenly mad at her, not sure whether it’s because Sam’s
seemingly better than her or because even though her drawings are wonderful, they’re
nothing compared to Lena. They let her beauty fade, make her look dull and not nearly as
interesting as she actually is. Kara blushes when she catches herself thinking that it’s almost
blasphemous.

Lena’s face is another problem entirely, one that makes Kara doubt everything she’s ever
known. She is supposed to capture her whole body, she knows that, but for some reason her
eyes keep wandering to that beautiful face of hers, and by the end of every pose Kara has
nothing but a way too detailed portrait. She does nothing but trace her beautiful features over
and over again.

Kara’s heart takes a leap when their prof announces that the lesson is almost over, and that
it’s time to critique their drawings. They sit down in a circle and Kara can’t help but feel
somewhat sad when she sees Lena leave in her peripheral vision, can’t help but sigh in relief,
can’t help but smile a little when she reappears not too long after that, dressed in a simple
robe now. She wants to see the drawings, and it’s this thought that makes Kara feel even more
humiliated.

Mr. Andrews doesn’t have a lot to say to most of the students as they each take their turn
presenting their sketches, criticizes little things here and there, offers constructive criticism.
He asks the other students to do the same, but Kara holds herself back. She doesn’t want to
tell any of them that their drawings are plain ugly compared to the beauty that is Lena. It’s
not that they’re bad, really, Kara just thinks that they lack some details, the essential ones that
make her feel so drawn to the woman. When Mr. Andrews then has to tell one of the male
students that he should refrain from exaggerating her “womanly features”, Kara wants to
punch him square in the face.

She, however, has no time to be angry, as they all too soon move onto her own drawings. She
can’t help but look down, avoid everyone’s eyes as she nervously plays with her blonde curls.
“I’m sorry, I just-“

She doesn’t know how to finish that sentence, can’t exactly tell her prof and the whole class
that she’s been too busy checking the woman out, that she’s been too busy literally drooling
over her (as Sam had so eloquently put it), and therefore hadn’t been able to create any full
figure drawings.

“You really have to work on scheduling your time, Kara,” Mr. Andrews begins and it causes
Kara to duck her head once again, nodding softly. “Which in your case means not being late
to class and learning to get a gesture drawing done in less than a minute. You can’t dwell on
details here, we’re not doing portraits.”

He, however, finishes off by telling her how gorgeous the drawings are either way, and that
he doesn’t want to discourage her in any way. It’s what finally gives her the courage to look
up again, and she’s pretty sure her heart almost combusts when she sees Lena smile ever so
softly, admiring, even, as she studies her drawings.

Kara can tell Sam wants to tease her again when they all pack their stuff and get ready to
leave, but it’s something she knows she can’t deal with in that moment, her cheeks still warm.
She basically flees out of the room, hoping that no one - especially Lena-, notices just how
badly she wants to get out of there.

//

Kara’s not quite sure why Alex is smirking at her once she enters their dorm again, shudders
to ask. She tries to ignore her, but unfortunately Alex follows her when she lets herself fall on
her bed, trying to forget how much she had just humiliated herself. Trying to forget those
piercing eyes, Lena’s little smile, the one she had caused.

“Soo, someone’s crushing on the new act model, huh?”

Kara’s jaw drops immediately and she can feel the flush creeping up her neck already, no
matter how hard she tries to stop it from emerging. She’s not sure whether she should ask
Alex how she knows or simply deny everything, so she stutters out a combination of both
instead, her brain deceiving her immensely. “I-I uhh… I don’t- how…?”

Alex just grins and shows her phone to Kara, who is not at all surprised to see Sam’s name
pop up on the screen. Of course the brunette was going to tell Alex immediately. The two of
them love to tease her relentlessly, after all.

“Don’t believe one word she’s saying,” is all Kara mumbles then, hoping it will be enough
for Alex to stop. The auburn-haired woman seems to have other plans, joining her on the bed.

“So it’s not true that you literally tripped over a chair after seeing here?” Alex raises her
eyebrows once again, grins in victory and keeps going when Kara simply blushes and hides
her face behind her hands. “And that you’ve…” she pauses as she scrolls through the
messages, “that you literally drooled upon seeing her?”
“Alex!” Kara’s voice is muffled by the pillow she has proceeded to bury her face in, and Alex
can’t help but laugh loudly, enjoying this more than she should.

“What? Are you saying that Sam is lying to me?” They both know how unlikely that is, both
know just how much Sam likes the other girl. “Are you saying that you didn’t keep checking
her out and didn’t get anything done as a result of-“

“Alex, stop!!” Kara finally groans again, uses the pillow to hit her sister. “I’m not crushing
on her. I don’t- I don’t even know her, okay?” She sounds so sure of herself, but as always
the way she avoids Alex’s eyes and readjusts her glasses gives her away.

“Mmh well, your reaction certainly tells me otherwise, just sayin’.”

Alex is still grinning when Kara finally goes to take a shower, but she decides to drop the
subject. For now, at least.

And Kara is glad that she does, the cold shower doing nothing to get all of those damn
pictures out of her mind, doing nothing to forget those damn eyes. It feels like torture, almost,
and between the constant blushing she’s already experiencing thanks to Lena, she really
doesn’t need Alex to make it even harder for her.

Especially considering that Kara soon finds it’s not just a temporary thing, that it’s not just a
fleeting crush that will dissolve again before she knows it. It’s not like that, she realizes, as
she lays down in her bed that night and sees her immediately, when she closes her eyes. It’s
all she can think about. Those piercing eyes, those red lips, that strong jaw of hers, her
beautiful hair. And before Kara knows it, she’s sketching her again. And she knows how
creepy it is, can’t even begin to explain why this woman has such an effect on her. Kara can’t
help herself. Something is compelling her to draw Lena and there is nothing she can do about
it. And so she does, hoping that drawing her a dozen times will finally get her out of her
system, will her allow to focus on important things again.

Instead, it seems to just make it worse.

She doesn’t have the model in front of her, obviously, is pretty sure she’d be doing something
else entirely if Lena was there with her, in her bed. Kara tries not to think about that, instead
tries to remember Lena’s features, some of them feeling like they’ve been burned into her
memory. It’s the features the other student’s drawings have been missing, the ones that make
her feel so drawn to Lena. She’s not there with her, the sketches aren’t perfect, but between
those captivating eyes, between her insufferable eyebrows and mindnumbingly beautiful lips,
they’re Lena.

They’re undoubtedly Lena. And so Kara decides to store them under her bed, just to be safe,
just in case Sam is going to snoop through her things. The last thing she wants is for anyone
to see them, for Sam to recognize her immediately or for Alex to ask who this mysterious
woman she keeps drawing is.

It makes her feel weird, makes Lena feel like her dirty little secret, the way she quite literally
hides her under her bed, the way she can still recall every little curve, every little
imperfection of hers. She can’t help but feel creepy, wonders what it is about Lena that makes
her feel so nervous, so excited.

She can’t pinpoint one thing, can’t possibly put the blame one on single thing when
everything about her is perfect. And Kara decides that she’s okay with that when she finally
closes her eyes, finally feels able to fall asleep - raven hair in mind, and ignoring the fact that
she’ll see her again soon, that this is not just a fantasy, but a real person. Someone she’s going
to have to face again.

//

By the time the next art class rolls around, Kara’s fed up.

She’s fed up by Alex teasing her, by Sam talking about how hot Lena is; fed up by both of
them working together to make it even more unbearable, to have her be on edge all day. She’s
fed up by Lena not leaving her mind, which is partly their fault.

She’s barely stopped sketching her, using every free minute to try to capture that beauty on a
piece of paper, to capture the sheer amount of confidence that seemed to surround the
woman. She found that it’s impossible, but she’s getting there, slowly, keeps drawing Lena
anyways. She can’t stop herself, and the fact that she has to hide it from Alex and Sam and
her other friends isn’t making it any easier. She doesn’t necessarily want them to know about
her (bordering on) unhealthy obsession, doesn’t want to have to endure more teasing. So
Kara has to be careful at all times. Everyone in her art class had already witnessed her
making a fool out of herself that one day, had clearly seen just how into the woman she is,
and Kara really doesn’t want to give them more material to fuel the fire. And oh boy, what a
fire that would be. Kara can’t deny that while had mostly drawn portraits during the last
class, she definitely hasn’t been shying away from full body ones at all, in the safety of her
room.

And despite having been thinking of nothing but Lena for days, despite having her body
memorized, Kara almost trips over some more chairs as she makes her way towards Sam that
day. It’s enough, seeing Lena sit there. Seeing, once again, just how gorgeous the woman is,
seeing how all of her drawings fade in comparison. It makes her blush, when everyone turns
around once again as she stumbles into the room late, despite having tried so hard to be on
time for once. And Sam’s smirk when she finally does arrive reminds her of Alex’s when she
had awoken her so rudely just a few minutes ago. (“You don’t wanna miss seeing your crush,
do you?”) Kara gets even more flustered upon remembering how quickly she had jumped out
of bed, much to her sister’s delight. “Not crushing, my ass,” she had heard Alex mumble,
then, and she really didn’t have it in herself to argue with that, simply rushed to get to the
auditorium in time instead.

Trying to sit down next to Sam and catching Lena smirking at what she can only assume are
her own, clumsy antics makes her almost miss her chair. For a moment she wants the floor to
open up and swallow her whole, she does, but then she hears Lena chuckle and thinks that
perhaps it wasn’t that bad after all. She almost considers making even more of a fool of
herself, just for the sake of hearing that sound again - but Sam’s nudging her shoulder and
Mr. Andrews is looking at her expectantly, and so she takes out her equipment instead, gets
ready to draw and fail.
And she does fail, at least in her own eyes she does. And yet at the end of the lesson, she sits
down in their critique circle with more drawings than ever; and more lively ones, too.
Everyone seems to admire them, and Kara can’t help but smile a little. A smile that falters
just barely so when she catches Mr. Andrews smirk slightly at her. She doesn’t know what
that’s all about, can’t even ask when they start going around critiquing drawings. Kara’s
painfully absent again, glancing at Lena over and over again in what she desperately hopes to
be a discrete manner. She only manages to tear her eyes away from Lena once it’s time for
everyone to critique her own drawings, and she wants to hide, can feel her heart speed up
when Mr. Andrews grins at her once again.

“Those are wonderful, Kara. I can’t help but notice that you seem to be especially passionate
about this subject.”

Giggles erupt immediately, Mr. Andrews’ innuendo not being missed by anyone in the room -
of course not -, much to Kara’s dismay and Sam’s amusement. Lena’s too, apparently, the
woman now laughing softly - a sound that almost makes Kara forget how embarrassed she is.
Almost.

She doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know if there’s anything she should say in that
moment, and so she’s glad when Mr. Andrews soon wraps the lesson up. It means she can
quickly pack all of her stuff and flee out of the room as quickly as possible, blush still
apparent on her cheeks. Kara has always known how bad at hiding her emotions she seems to
be, but she realizes then that she must have been painfully obvious if even her teacher had
picked up on her crush, had seen the way she looks at Lena.

She’s halfway across campus when she hears her voice.

Kara doesn’t need to turn around to know that it’s her, is pretty sure that she’d be able to
recognize that voice anywhere, despite the fact that she’s only ever heard her laugh, had
barely heard her say a few words. It’s burned into her brain anyways, sends a shiver down her
spine and makes her stop all of her movements immediately, despite wanting to run.

And when she turns around, she finds that Lena looks impossibly more beautiful in simple
jeans and a black shirt. The casual clothes make Kara’s heart flutter - impossibly, more than
seeing her entirely naked-, make her feel all warm inside. She doesn’t know why, but it’s
extremely endearing, flatters her completely.

“Kara, right?”

Her voice sounds a lot softer, all of a sudden, and Kara wants to hear her say her name again.
Over and over again. It’s bringing back that familiar blush, as she wonders why Lena has
followed her in the first place, after all of the embarrassment. She can’t help but duck her
head again, nodding softly.

For some reason her antics make the other woman smile brightly, and it leaves her feeling
even more nervous. She doesn’t know what to do or say, doesn’t even know how to breathe
properly. She’s glad Lena seems to be so confident, so outgoing, so easily able to pick up a
conversation. She seems to be good at reading people, and notices just how nervous Kara
really is. She tries to make up for it by sounding calm, by being all gentle smiles and soft
looks.

“I’m sorry if I’m keeping you from going to classes,” she begins, and Kara almost laughs. As
if she’d care about classes one bit if she can stand here and be close to Lena instead. “I just
wanted to tell you how insanely gorgeous I think your drawings are.”

The woman sounds so genuine that all Kara can do is nervously play with her hair, readjust
her glasses and smile sheepishly. “T-thank you,” is all that she manages to stutter and it’s
almost unfair, how calm Lena still is. Though Kara’s incredibly thankful that the dark-haired
woman isn’t making fun of her, no teasing smile to be seen anywhere. Instead, her lips are
curved upwards in a beautiful smile, as her hand reaches out to rest on Kara’s arm
comfortingly. And really, it’s not her fault that it does the exact opposite instead, causes the
blonde’s heart to almost jump out of her chest.

“I would love to buy some of them, if that’s okay?”

The question immediately causes Kara to perk up, looking at Lena with wide eyes. Said
question is the last thing she had expected to escape Lena’s lips, but it’s a pleasant surprise -
one that makes Kara smile so brightly it almost reaches her ears. “R-really?”

And there it is, finally, a teasing smile on Lena’s lips. And just for a second, Kara wonders if
she’s being toyed with. It stings, though she has to admit that she’d gladly let her. “Really,”
Lena then nods reassuringly and it’s all Kara needs to know that Lena is serious, despite the
teasing. And she can tell that the woman wants to say something else, her mouth open
already, but Kara interrupts her, without thinking, of course, by shoving all of the drawings
from that day into her hands.

She only remembers to explains herself when Lena cocks her head to one side, perfect
eyebrows raised questioningly.

“I-I… you… I mean- you can have them,” Kara mumbles, worries her bottom lip between
white teeth until another bright smile erupts on Lena’s face. It doesn’t stop her from shoving
her hands into her pockets so she won’t fidget with her glasses instead, but it does stop her
from worrying. If just a little.

“All of them?” Lena’s chuckling again, eyeing her, amusement written all over her face, and
Kara wants to die of embarrassment as she awkwardly reaches for some of them again.

“I- sorry, I uhh, I think I’d like to keep these few,” she mutters sheepishly under her breath,
then widens her eyes, quickly adds, “if that’s okay, of course.”

Kara, once again, can’t help but stare at Lena in wonder. The woman starts laughing loudly,
shakes her head and bites her lip as she eyes all of the drawings she’s now holding in
admiration. “They’re yours, after all. Don’t worry, I would’ve wanted to keep some as well.
They’re… god, they’re magnificent.”

If there’s one thing Kara can’t deal with, it’s compliments. Another one being pretty women,
meaning that she’s literally turned into a puddle of incomprehensible stuttering at this point,
unable to find the words she’s looking for, unable to act like a normal human being around
Lena. She’s almost surprised Lena’s still there with her, still talking to her.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to pay for them?” Lena then asks again, just to be sure.
Kara gets that. She, too, wouldn’t want to take something like this for free, but she nods
nonetheless. She wants Lena to have them, wants the other woman to have something that
she made, that hopefully reminds her of her. The dark haired woman is going to think of her
whenever she looks at them, and that alone makes Kara’s heart feel all full and warm again,
makes her want to grin brightly. The only thing stopping her from doing just that, really, is
the way Lena looks at her then. “Fine, but I’d love to take you out for coffee.” Lena chuckles
again when Kara’s head perks up immediately, cheeks flushed, eyes wide. “You know, just to
return the favor. Maybe get to know the amazing artist who made these.”

Lena grins again, points at the drawings and watches Kara nod dumbfoundedly, the blonde
unable to process what’s happening. It’s another thing she can’t deal with, women asking her
out. It’s not something that she’s used to, not something she has a lot of experience with, and
even now she’s not sure what Lena’s intentions are. Still that doesn’t stop her from nodding
again, more vehemently and a bit too excited, this time, once her brain seems to catch up.

“Alright, Kara,” Lena says nonchalantly, while Kara’s still staring at her in disbelief. “There’s
a cute, little coffee shop right around the corner. 4pm tomorrow?”

Kara feels like a broken record at this point, when all she can do is nod once more and mutter
a quiet and disbelieving “yeah” under her breath, though she’s not sure Lena can even hear
that, the woman having already turned around to leave.

//

Unsurprisingly, Kara is still shaken up once she gets back to her dorm. She’s still trying to
process a certain encounter with Lena, still questioning whether it had really happened like
that in the first place. She wouldn’t be surprised if it had been no more than an extremely
vivid daydream, though it seems unlikely considering well over half of her drawings are now
gone. Are with Lena.

Alex recognizes that look on her face immediately, has seen it many times before. Though
even she is surprised when Kara seems to be so caught up in her own head that she almost
trips over her own feet, almost walks against the wall, still wide eyed and blushing.

“Let me guess, something happened with Lena?” Alex asks, then laughs loudly when Kara
jumps, obviously not having seen her before. That alone tells her how correct she had been in
her assumption, and the added fun that is seeing Kara shake her head vehemently, her blush
deepening, just confirms it even more. She knows. Still, she keeps teasing. She really
wouldn’t be a great big sister if she didn’t, not a real Danvers. “Aww, come on. Tell me! Did
you finally talk to your crush?”

Alex is not surprised when Kara glares at her, tries to deny everything right away even
though they both know who’s right. “She’s not my crush!”
Even Kara herself has to admit she sounds all but convincing, her attempt of getting out of
this having failed miserably. She knows Alex won’t let go - not that easily anyways-, and
certainly not as easy as the last time. Because she can tell, by the way Kara’s acting, that
something happened, something much more important than tripping over chairs and drooling
over the new act model.

“You sure about that? Because you’re blushing really hard right now,” Alex grins when her
sister groans loudly, lets herself fall on the bed in frustration. She loves riling her up like this,
and so she doesn’t stop smirking once she keeps going. “You talked to her, didn’t you?”

Something seems to snap in Kara, then, though she’s still her usual awkward self as she
playfully holds her hands up in defeat and rolls her eyes. “Fine. She wanted to buy some of
my drawings.”

The blonde hadn’t been quite sure why she was so hesitant about telling Alex, why it was so
hard for her. Part of her just wants to keep it to herself, wants the whole Lena thing to be all
hers, she knows that. But then there’s the absolutely delighted look of a sister who knows
how much material for teasing she’ll get soon enough on Alex’s face, and Kara remembers
why talking about stuff like this never ends well. She trusts her sister more than anything, but
she feels humiliated enough already, doesn’t need Alex to make it worse, doesn’t need her to
talk to Sam about it - which Kara knows she will either way.

“She did?” Alex proceeds to ask, seems genuinely surprised, though she also seems to
wonder why exactly Kara is acting the way she currently is. She knows how bad the girl’s
crushes get, but this particular one seems to really get to her. Still red cheeks are why Alex
decides to go a little easy on her for once. “Well I hope you sold them!” she pauses when
Kara bites her lip. “You did sell them, right?”

She almost loses it when Kara then shakes her head, and she really wants to say something -
wants to protest and tell her that she’s quite literally missed a great opportunity, but Kara’s
faster than her and explains. “I didn’t want her to pay for them. So, well, I mean, I just gave
some of them to her. She really liked them, I think.”

“Knowing you, they were probably amazing,” Alex grins and nudges Kara’s shoulder. “But
something tells me that this isn’t the only reason why you’re all flustered and giddy.”

It’s not a question, but Kara knows that Alex expects an answer either way. It’s just that
words are really hard, when all she can think about is how beautiful Lena is. How brightly
she had smiled while asking her what Kara is now about to disclose to her sister, fumbling
with her own fingers while doing so. “I-I… she kind of wants to get coffee with me
tomorrow?”

She can tell Alex wants to both congratulate and make fun of her at the same time, her eyes
wide, her smile bright. She’s happy for Kara, but she doesn’t get to properly express it
because there’s a knock on the door, shortly followed by Sam stepping into the room like it’s
her own She stops in her tracks, and raises a questioning eyebrow at the both of them.
“What’s going on here?”
“Exciting news,” Alex jumps up to stand next to Sam, and Kara rolls her eyes. She’s not even
surprised when her sister’s arm finds its way around Sam’s waist like it’s the most natural
thing to do. The way Sam smiles at Alex in response definitely isn’t friendly either, and she
almost snorts, wants to tell them how oblivious to their own feelings they are. Perhaps they
shouldn’t make fun of her while they’re not any better themselves. And she wants to make a
snarky comment, she really does, but they’re back to teasing her before she even gets the
chance to open her mouth. Kara figures she’ll have to endure that for a little longer, before
she can have her own fun. “Kara’s going on a date with Lena tomorrow.”

It’s Sam who looks at them with wide eyes now, back and forth between the two of them, her
mouth agape, though they can practically see it slowly forming into a smug smile. “With
Lena? Act model Lena? The Lena that made you drool and trip over chairs?”

Kara kind of wants to stop talking to her for that comment alone, but she knows she’ll have
to eventually, and so she simply shrugs. “It’s not a date.”

Both Sam and Alex snort, have to bite the insides of their cheeks to keep themselves from
laughing. Kara tries her best to look angry and inevitably fails. It’s kind of hard for someone
who looks like an excited puppy at all times, but she thinks she’s managing just fine.

“No date? So you guys are just gonna be fuckbud-“ Kara’s pillow hits Sam square in the face
before she can even finish her sentence. Though she’s kind of mad, when both Sam and Alex
burst out into loud laughter, the blonde can’t help but chuckle a little as well. Thanks to
Sam’s innuendo, she’s blushing once again. It’s hard enough to face Lena as it is, hard
enough to stay calm whenever she thinks of her, but talking about things like that regarding
the other woman is simply too much for Kara. She tries to ignore the fact that she’s literally
seen her naked before, not sure if that makes this whole situation better or worse.

“We’re not- I…god, Sam! It’s just her way of thanking m-“ Kara comes to a halt all by
herself, even before Sam and Alex start giggling again. She knows that every single word
leaving her mouth is just making it worse, and she can’t help but wonder why she ever
deemed it a great idea to introduce her best friend to her sister in the first place. Especially
considering they get along a little too great. Kara loves that, most of the time, though it often
(way too often) results in them teaming up against her.

“Her way of thanking you, huh?” It’s Alex who teases her this time, Sam still too busy
laughing at Kara’s accidental implication. She really hadn’t meant to make it sound like that,
her mind far too innocent (most of the time, anway).

“You guys are horrible, do you know that?” The blonde groans and throws another pillow at
Sam, then rolls her eyes when Alex shields the brunette, quite literally jumps in front of her.
It’s too late now, and Kara really can’t stop herself from finally saying something. They’ve
had their fun with her, had teased her for days on end. It was her time to do the same now, to
draw some attention to the very obvious chemistry between the two of them. It’s something
they never actually talk about, something they don’t ever acknowledge, but it’s quite obvious,
the way they look at each other. “You know, maybe you guys shouldn’t make fun of me. It’s a
bit hypocritical, considering you two have been pining for months and still haven’t gotten it
on. At least I have a date.”
Kara grins, proudly, as she watches all kinds of emotions rush over them. She watches them
open their mouths and close them again - due to a lack of words, due to the sheer
embarrassment that is so clearly written all over their face.

She seriously thinks she’s finally managed to get them to shut up, but when Sam doesn’t even
acknowledge the things she has just said, yells “aha, so it is a date!!” instead, Kara can’t help
but facepalm and shake her head in amusement. Before she leaves them alone, Kara shoots
her sister one more look they both know means something along the lines of “you know I’m
right”.

//

Kara’s a nervous mess by the time she arrives at the coffee shop, nervously taps her
fingernails on the table, chews on her bottom lip as she waits for the other woman. She looks
around the shop a few times, just to ensure herself Lena isn’t there yet, to ensure herself she
hasn’t accidentally sat down at a wrong table and made a fool of herself in the process of
doing so. But the dark-haired woman is nowhere to be seen and though Kara lets out a
relieved sigh, she’s not quite sure what’s taking over in that moment. The joy that, so far, she
hasn’t humiliated herself, or the worry that perhaps the other woman won’t show up after all.

Kara declines when the waitress asks her if there’s anything she needs, says she’s waiting for
someone, smiles nervously before she goes back to worrying, back to thinking that maybe
she hasn’t heard the woman properly, that maybe she was here at the wrong time. The wrong
day, even. She doesn’t even want to address the thoughts telling her that maybe Lena doesn’t
care enough, that she’s just another art student crushing on her, nothing to be taken seriously.

She’s about to bolt just as a familiar face enters the shop. There’s an easy smile on the other
woman’s lips, and Kara can’t help but think about some of the things Alex said that morning.
The teasing echoes clearly in her mind (“Didn’t know you had it in you, sis. Sam says she’s
incredibly hot. A little bit older than you, too.”). She doesn’t know what makes her blush
more, those words or the way Lena looks at her. Perhaps it’s the way she’s even more
beautiful than Alex could ever fathom without having seen her in person.

The casual clothes throw Kara off guard, just like they did the day before. The oversized
cardigan seems cozy, and the rest of her outfit too. She’s pulling it off perfectly, manages to
make it look elegant, even. But it’s the way she’s put her hair in a ponytail, that makes Kara’s
jaw fall down, causes her to stare with her mouth figuratively wide open. She can’t help
herself, though she usually, embarrassingly, loves Lena’s hair. It’s beautiful, looks so soft, and
Kara loves drawing it, loves drawing it messy, loves having it flow over her piece of paper in
waves. But the ponytail enhances her features beautifully, makes her look stronger. Kara
would have felt intimidated, if it wasn’t for the way Lena’s still smiling.

“Hey.” It’s only one syllable, but it sounds like what Kara imagines silk must feel like. It
sounds low and easy, and Kara thinks that perhaps it should be illegal to have a voice this
smooth. It sends a shiver down her spine, makes her feel things she’d rather not think about
or it might drive her crazy.

“Hi,” she replies sheepishly, her cheeks already hot, her smile bright despite how nervous she
is. Lena makes her feel on edge and at peace at the same time, another thing that Kara thinks
is incredibly unfair. No one should have an effect like this on her, but when Lena then
apologizes for being late, places a warm hand on her arm, Kara doesn’t even bother paying it
much thought.

“I-it’s okay. I didn’t have to wait that long…” It’s true, though she doesn’t tell Lena that she
probably would have waited for hours if it meant Lena touching her like this, this gentle and
soft. She keeps that thought to herself, happy that it doesn’t escape her nervous lips anyways.
She really doesn’t need to humiliate herself already, figures there’ll be enough time to do that
later on.

Lena asks her what she wants to drink, then, and Kara feels almost embarrassed when she
asks for a hot chocolate. She feels like a child, feels intimidated by Lena’s espresso. The way
Lena chuckles to herself makes her feel better though, because it sounds warm, laced with
adoration Kara is sure she’s just imagining. A fun trick of her brain to make her feel less
awkward, to get at least some words out.

She even declines when Lena asks whether she wants something to eat as well, and it takes
her by surprise, to realize that her usually always present hunger has been replaced by
something else entirely; that she suddenly feels hungry in a completely different way. She’s
longing, leans closer in hopes Lena might touch her arm again.

And it’s almost embarrassing, the way she can’t stop looking at Lena. She simply can’t help
herself, can’t do anything but study her face, cheeks reddening every time she notices
something new about the other woman, like the tiny scar next to her right eye she hadn’t ever
been close enough to see. She wants to trace it with her fingertips, though she quickly shoves
that thought to the side, doesn’t want to seem desperate, doesn’t want to admit things like that
- not even to herself. Kara knows that Lena is talking to her, that soothing voice of hers
washing over her in waves, engulfing her completely. But listening, really listening, to her is
hard when she keeps tracing the woman’s features in her head. Then, soon, on the table, her
fingers moving ever so slightly. It’s a habit she can’t remember not having. Wondering, at all
times, how she’d draw certain things, certain people, executing it in her mind. Nobody ever
picks up on it, but somehow Lena does.

Kara is surprised to see that Lena’s smile seems almost sheepish, is surprised when the
woman even goes so far as to fumble with her own fingers. “You can draw me, you know. I
can tell you want to.”

The blonde can tell how genuine Lena is, and yet she feels more than just a little embarrassed
when her demeanor suddenly changes into that of a little puppy. All she can do is grin widely
and, as quickly as possible, get her sketchbook out of her bag. She’s so eager, so eager to
draw her again, that she completely loses herself in that thought, forgets that perhaps Lena
could deem this somewhat creepy. But the raven-haired woman looks so damn beautiful in
the dim light of the coffee shop, looks so cozy and comfortable that Kara thinks any artist
would throw themselves at the chance to draw her.

Kara barely even acknowledges it when their beverages arrive, Lena’s cinnamon bun as well,
too busy studying Lena and wondering where to start. Lena has the most beautiful eyes and
Kara wishes she had brought colors with her, soon realizes that even then she wouldn’t have
been able to get the color right, wouldn’t have been ably to capture them perfectly. She settles
for charcoal, instead, starts to work on simple shapes while Lena begins talking to her, both
of them settling into a comfortable conversation quite easily. Kara feels less nervous with the
pencil in her hand, feels more at ease, can actually be herself. Can study Lena without being
creepy, too. And so they keep going like that for a while, telling each other stories, getting to
know each other, while Kara draws and Lena tries to sit as still as possible. The only times
she really moves is when Kara says something that causes her to throw her head back in
laughter, her eyes crinkling beautifully around the edges. Kara doesn’t have the guts to tell
her that she doesn’t have to try as hard, that she’s memorized her face completely, that she’d
be able to draw her in every possible pose without having to see her.

It feels incredibly intimate, getting to draw her like this, being this close to her. And Kara
basks in that feeling, basks in the comfortableness and the little bubble they’ve built around
themselves. But then she finishes the drawing and grows nervous again. Because that in itself
looks so affectionate, so loving and warm that Kara thinks it could be straight out of a
romance, doesn’t want Lena to see it.

“Come on, I’m sure I’m going to love it.” Lena pushes ever so softly and it’s really all it
takes for Kara to hand it over anyways, realizing that she’s unable to say not to. The
encouraging smile on Lena’s lips is enough for Kara to lose the strength to say something as
simple as ‘no’, and Kara soon finds that it can be a good thing, when Lena’s little smile turns
into a big one. She can’t help but grin, relishing the fact that she has been the one to put it
there, to make her feel this way. “Kara… that is- I don’t know what to say.”

“Then don’t.” It’s all Kara can think of saying. She doesn’t need praise, doesn’t need Lena to
tell her how much she likes it. The smile on her lips is enough for Kara.

“I feel like I have to,” Lena admits, and suddenly her hand is on Kara’s arm again, wanders
down slowly to grasp her hand gently. It makes the blonde close her eyes for the shortest
amount of time, makes her smile contently and shake her head. And when their eyes meet
again, Lena decides not to dwell on it.

“I just want you to keep it, will you?”

Kara doesn’t have to ask twice, Lena already nodding and chuckling. “Thank you.”

And with that, it’s settled. No more comments about the drawing, no more questions, no
more ‘thank you’s. Instead, they keep talking, and Kara can’t help but think that it feels a
little different now. They’re closer, in the best way possible, and Kara’s practically buzzing
with joy. Though it’s only when Lena offers her some of her cinnamon bun that Kara thinks
that perhaps Alex and Sam had been right all this time, that perhaps this was, indeed, a date.

Because Lena’s not just asking her if she wants some, is holding it out to Kara so she can take
a bite instead. She even does that cliché move of wiping her thumb along Kara’s bottom lip
when the coating decides it’d rather stick there, and the blonde thinks she might as well have
gone to heaven when Lena then proceeds to lick it off of her own thumb in the most
captivating way.

Kara’s completely entranced, jumps when Lena suddenly curses under her breath, shoots the
blonde an apologetic look before she explains. “Class starts in ten minutes. I think Mr.
Andrews wouldn’t want to miss his model and his best student.”

When Lena’s lips curve upwards in a teasing smile, Kara immediately realizes just how
intentional and planned every single word that ever leaves the older woman’s mouth is, but
the compliment works either way, makes her blush and bite her lip. It’s something that, in
response, turns Lena’s smile into a rather proud one.

//

The walk back to campus is quiet, though not uncomfortable. It’s a silence they both like,
content smiles on their faces, hands brushing against another every now and then. Kara never
has the guts to take Lena’s hand, and the dark-haired woman doesn’t do it either, but it’s
okay, Kara can live with that just fine (even though she really wants to) thanks to the way
Lena still glances at her drawing every now and then. She’s holding it carefully instead of
having put it into her purse, too afraid it might crumble.

And when they both finally enter the auditorium together, the same soft smiles still apparent
on their faces, it’s no wonder that everyone immediately turns around to look at them. The
whispering and giggling starts immediately, and though Mr. Andrews tells them to be quiet,
even he seems to be smirking ever so slightly. He’s much more discrete than some of the
students, Sam grinning brightly at Kara once the blonde had whispered a soft “bye” to Lena,
melted at the beautiful smile she had gotten back in response, and made her way towards her
friend.

She hears snippets of what the other students are saying, hears whispered question that sound
suspiciously close to things like ‘do you think they’re dating?’ or ‘do you think they
banged?’. A part of Kara wants to roll her eyes at those people, wants to tell them that it’s
none of their business, but another part of her, one that she tries to ignore for the most part,
feels strangely proud. Feels strangely smug about the fact that some of them think there
might be a chance of the two of them dating. It’s flattering, in a way, makes her wish she
could answer all of their questions with a ‘yes’. Instead, she’s left wondering just what
exactly they are.

“Don’t say a word,” Kara mutters before Sam can start with her teasing and sexual
innuendos, something she knows the brunette wants to do so badly. But she can’t bear any of
that, not in that moment, not when she suddenly feels something resembling fear in the back
of her mind, in her gut. Not when said feeling suddenly washes over her and Kara realizes
what’s about to happen.

She can’t be jealous, the one date with Lena not having given her any right to feel that way.
She knows that there’s something between them, knows everyone seems to be able to pick up
on it, too, knows that she and Lena now know each other better than any other student knows
her. But still, she doesn’t have the right to feel as miserable as she does when Lena occupies
the chair in front of them again, stark naked.

The older woman doesn’t look at her, her easy-going attitude having been replaced by a layer
of professionalism, one that doesn’t allow such interactions between the two of them. Kara
respects that, admires it, even, but it helps putting things into perspective for her. In the end,
Kara’s just an art student, just one of the many people that get to see Lena like this. It’s
foolish to think that Lena is all that vulnerable, sitting there, naked. Kara knows it’s
something she has chosen to do, knows it’s work for her, knows it’s professional. But
somewhere, in the midst of things, she’s putting herself out there, she’s showing herself,
letting everyone see things that Kara wishes were meant for her eyes only. She realizes how
selfish it is to think that way, realizes that it’s definitely crossing a line, but she can’t help
herself.

When Mr. Andrews, towards the end of the lesson, announces how close they are to saying
goodbye to Lena, Kara can’t take it anymore. She bolts. Runs. Leaves the room without
looking back, ignoring the odd looks, ignoring Mr. Andrews asking what she’s doing, ignores
piercing green eyes she knows are following her.

//

Kara doesn’t feel sad in the following weeks.

She thinks she does, at first, after she bolted, after realizing that Lena isn’t going to follow
her - she didn’t want her to -, after realizing that she’s never asked for her number. A sick part
of her wants to feel worse than she does, wants that feeling of regret to be bigger, to be more.
But she soon realizes that Lena hasn’t been a part of her life for long, that they’ve only ever
talked once, that she’s only seen her three times. There’s nothing missing when she goes back
to her usual routine. She doesn’t need anything to fill the space, because there’s nothing to be
filled. She simply keeps living her life, enjoys when Sam and Alex finally stop teasing, stop
asking questions, after a while.

She only ever misses her when sees the stack of drawings she still keeps under her bed, when
she suddenly feels compelled to draw her again, like she does every so often. It’s odd, but
even after weeks she still remembers her face perfectly. She still draws her like she’s the most
beautiful woman she’s ever met. Kara thinks that feelings like those never go away, that
she’ll never not feel whole when she draws Lena.

It’s only a matter of time before Alex finds the drawings.

Kara sometimes forgets about them, during busy weeks, forgets about Lena, too. And so she
doesn’t make an effort to hide them, has them sitting under her bed next to some of her other
drawings, some canvases that are too big to store in her closet. It’s not all that surprising
when she gets home from the gym one night and finds Alex sitting on the floor, right in front
of her bed, looking at said drawings with what Kara can only describe as a mixture of
concern and admiration. It’s not something that usually mashes well, but Kara immediately
understands why her sister feels the way she does. Though only she knows that there’s no
reason to worry, and so she’s quick to sits down next to Alex, worrying her bottom lip
between her teeth as she tries to come up with an explanation.

“That’s Lena, isn’t it?” Alex’s voice is careful, and Kara wants to tell her she doesn’t need to
be, that she can be brass, can tease her, even. She’s over it. Instead, she simply nods as Alex
keeps looking through the sketches, stops every now and then to admire certain ones, tracing
her index finger over the soft lines. “They’re beautiful, Kara.”

“I didn’t necessarily want you to find them.”

“I know,” Alex chuckles softly. “You didn’t really hide them though, did you?”

“I kind of forget about them sometimes.” Kara shrugs, tries to be nonchalant, but they both
know that there’s something more to it.

“Do you still draw her?”

Alex pulls her into a tight hug when Kara nods once again ,and it’s only then that Kara
realizes that maybe she has missed Lena, after all. That maybe drawing someone for weeks
on end isn’t something you do only because someone looks a certain way. Incredibly
beautiful, in Lena’s case.

“Do you miss her?” Alex asks and Kara doesn’t know how to answer that question, shrugs
again. “I didn’t know it was that serious between you two.”

“It wasn’t,” Kara’s voice almost breaks and Alex immediately pulls her even closer. “It’s
stupid. I didn’t realize I even missed her, you know. We barely knew each other.”

“It’s not stupid, you like her.”

Kara shakes her head, but neither of them believe the gesture, especially not considering that
the fitting words won’t even escape the blonde’s lips. “I like drawing her, that’s different.”

“So she’s, what? Your muse?”

Kara can’t help but laugh at that. Lena is her muse. Someone that she feels strangely
connected to, someone that inspires her even though she doesn’t really know her. She’s her
muse. Not more, not less. No feelings involved. It’s a word that she likes, it’s something that
stops her from feeling weird for drawing her, something that makes her stop missing Lena
altogether. For a while, at least.

//

Kara can’t even begin to describe how thankful she is that Alex doesn’t tell Sam about this.
She doesn’t tell Sam about the dozens of drawings she found under Kara’s bed, she doesn’t
tell her that sometimes she still catches her sister drawing a certain dark-haired woman. She
doesn’t even tell her that Kara, a few weeks later, picks up the habit of going to that damn
coffee shop almost every day. The one that she and Lena had gone to on their first and only
date.

It feels strange going there now, though Kara supposes that it’s still just a normal coffee shop,
that it shouldn’t suddenly hold as much value simply because she’s been there with Lena
before.

But still, her heart speeds up whenever she enters the shop, some part of her still hoping that
one day she’ll see her there.

Then, one day, she does.

She enters the shop like she usually does, scarf wrapped tightly around her neck, and she
exhales happily when the warmth engulfs her immediately. It’s one of her favorite places
now, one that makes her feel cozy and at home, but not for Lena’s sake anymore.

Of course that all changes once she sees her sit in the far back of the shop. She’s reading a
book and Kara almost trips over her own two feet when she realizes that this is really
happening, almost forgets how to breathe, immediately forgets everything she thought she
knew. The past few weeks of coming here suddenly seem rather empty and sad, the whole
atmosphere even warmer, just like her cheeks, now that Lena’s sitting here.

Lena doesn’t see her, too captivated by the book she’s reading, and Kara can barely stop
herself from smiling ever so softly. It’s cute, seeing her this enthralled, seeing her not worry
about a thing and just let herself be. It makes her look incredibly more beautiful, and
suddenly Kara feels nothing but regret, wishing she had tried to reach out. Wishing Lena had.
Wishing Lena had cared enough.

Kara almost laughs at herself, feels incredibly embarrassed, when she ducks her head and
hastily wanders to the other side of the shop. She doesn’t want Lena to look up and notice
that she’s there, feels like she needs a little time first, to figure out what she’s going to do.
She wants to walk up to her table, of course, wants to talk to her, to see her up close, to make
her smile again. But she doesn’t have the guts to do so, and when the waitress takes her order,
her voice is barely above a whisper. She’s too scared that Lena might remember her voice,
that it’ll cause her to look up and find that Kara’s already looking at her, already studying her
like she’s seeing her for the first time.

The blonde tries her best to enjoy her hot chocolate like she does every day, tries to get some
work done, to work on things that she should deem more important than letting her eyes
swerve back to Lena in the back of the shop. She barely stops herself when her hands
immediately reach for her sketchbook and the same charcoal she’s used to draw her on their
first date, right here in this shop. She smiles softly when she realizes that the dim lighting
makes her look just as peaceful like she did that first time, makes her look warm and
comfortable and all the things Kara feels whenever she lays her eyes on her.

The first strokes of her pencil are tentative, hesitant, as if she had unlearned how to draw
Lena. The real one. Not the fictional version of Lena that she had created in her mind, the
muse version of Lena that she still drew every so often. She feels like a broken record when
she notes that, again, none of her drawings come close to what the real Lena looks like, the
one that’s still reading peacefully, only stopping to sip on her coffee every few minutes. Even
then, her eyes barely leave the pages, and Kara wonders if she herself ever looked like this to
Lena, whenever she watched her draw.

Kara is careful whenever she looks up at Lena, hopes that no one in the shop realizes what
she’s doing, hopes Lena won’t instinctively snap her head up when it feels like someone
might be staring. The finished sketch feels exactly like this, feels exactly like Kara feels. It’s
distant, cold, yet so full of emotion that everyone looking at it would be able to tell that Kara
hasn’t just drawn a random stranger here, had instead captured someone she truly admired
and cared about, in whatever strange way.
She lets the drawing rest on her table for a while, as she finishes her hot chocolate and
realizes that it’s turned dark outside already, ignores the way the waitress looks at it when she
comes by to ask if Kara needs anything, the way she smirks knowingly and her eyes swerve
towards Lena for the shortest amount of time.

A part of Kara wants her to see it, remembering the smile it had put on the other woman’s
lips the last time. The other, much bigger and much more reasonable, part of her is scared,
doesn’t have the guts to actually walk up there and make herself noticeable. To hand it to her
and look her in the eyes while doing so, to study Lena’s reaction upon seeing both Kara’s
sketch and Kara herself.

She ponders about it for a while, then takes her chance when Lena leaves her seat, heads for
the bathroom. Kara wraps her scarf around her neck as quickly as possible, packs all of her
stuff even faster and pays before she nervously walks towards Lena’s now empty table and
carefully puts the drawing right next to the woman’s book. She is about to leave, then, when
she suddenly comes to a halt, takes a pen out of her pocket and hastily scribbles her phone
number right under the sketch.

She doesn’t leave her name, trusts that Lena will recognize who drew this.

And then she bolts, again, runs out of the shop before Lena returns. Before she gets the
chance to see the girl she’s been missing so terribly.

//

It feels oddly familiar when Kara suddenly hears someone call out her name, while she’s
walking through the cold, the dark night, trying to get back to her dorm as quickly as
possible. It’s Lena, Kara has no doubt about that, and she wonders if she’s even surprised. If
she should be. Apparently she still remembers her voice and that fact alone makes her heart
clench painfully.

She’s scared to turn around, at first, fears that maybe once she does, she’ll find that Lena isn’t
there at all. That it’s wishful thinking, that it’s what she had wanted to happen the last time
she bolted. And so she keeps staring into the dark for a few beats, takes a deep breath before
she gathers all of her courage to actually turn around.

Kara doesn’t want to, she really doesn’t, but she can’t help but smile ever so slightly when
she sees that Lena really is there, standing in front of her, just a few feet away. Her cheeks are
red and she’s a little out of breath from trying to catch up with her. On top of that, she’s
wrapped up in a huge scarf, is wearing a cute beanie that flatters her just right, and Kara
wants to scoff at her past self for thinking that Lena in the dim light of the coffee shop was
the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen. Because this is it, this is impossibly more beautiful
and Kara doesn’t know how she can still see the green in Lena’s eyes so clearly, despite the
fact that the only light sources illuminating her features are the moon and a far away street
lamp. And she’s smiling at her. Takes a step forward.

She’s still holding Kara’s drawing and glances at it for a few seconds before she looks up
again and speaks, tentatively. “So you were just gonna leave that drawing there and then
leave yourself, huh? You weren’t even going to talk to me?” There’s a little smile on her lips
as she speaks, and Kara is almost afraid to answer, not sure she can trust her voice in that
moment.

“I’m taking it you recognized it was from me?”

It’s a simple question, but for some reason it makes Lena laugh loudly, makes her shake her
head as though the answer’s painfully obvious. “How couldn’t I?”

“I thought maybe you had forgotten…” Kara ducks her head, her voice barely above a
whisper and so, so shy that Lena can’t help but take another step forward.

“Really, Kara?” she asks, lets out another chuckle. And Kara knows her question is
rhetorical, the answer obvious once again, when she keeps talking immediately. “It’s
wonderful, thank you.”

There’s only silence after that, but Kara is pretty sure Lena might be able to hear her heart
beat fast in her chest. It’s ridiculous, the effect the other woman has on her. And when she
smiles, then, it’s shy and sheepish and she’s so overwhelmed. “I don’t know what to say,”
Kara admits.

Lena is about to open her mouth, is about to reassure Kara that it’s alright, but somehow Kara
seems to be able to find the right words after all and starts rambling adorably.

“I just- I didn’t know if you were gonna like, I mean, if you’d even want me to draw you.
You know, without even saying hi or anything. I-I just- I just couldn’t… you never reached
out and I thought… it’s embarrassing but I think, I-I mean, I think I kind of really liked you
and then suddenly you just weren’t there anymore and I know that was partly my fault, but I
wished-“ she takes a deep breath, readjusts her glasses. “I barely knew you and it’s stupid to
feel that way, I know that. I’m pretty sure I was gonna forget about you at some point, but I-
seeing you again just kinda threw me off guard and I always loved drawing you an-“

“Kara.” Her name sounds so beautiful and tender when Lena says it, and it’s the softness of it
that makes Kara come to a halt, makes her stop rambling and blush terribly instead. She
barely manages to look at Lena when the woman keeps talking. “There’s nothing to be
embarrassed about, I promise.”

“But I-I didn’t mean, I never meant to-“

“Kara, stop. I just told you it’s fine. Believe me, will you?” She smiles softly when Kara
nods. “Do you maybe want to take a walk with me? Just enjoy the fresh air and discuss all of
this?”

Lena takes Kara’s hand when the blonde nods again, and the the latter can’t help but wonder
if any of this is real, if maybe she just finally lost it completely. Though when she starts
shivering as the cold wind hits her face, the way goosebumps spread over what feels like her
whole body, she notes that maybe she is awake after all. Awake and incredibly cold.

“Do you mind if we stop by my dorm first? I think I really need a jacket,” Kara asks shyly,
grows a bit more comfortable when Lena squeezes her hand and agrees, offers Kara her scarf
even when they’re already on the way back to campus. The blonde doesn’t take it, but she
does allow Lena to wrap her arm around her waist. And she thinks it should be weird, that
they went from not seeing each other for weeks to doing this, to soft touches and hand
holding, but she feels so incredibly comfortable that she decides to question that another
time, when she doesn’t feel Lena’s warmth engulf her in the best possible way.

They talk about mundane things until they actually arrive at Kara’s room, and the blonde
desperately hopes that Alex isn’t there, groans when the auburn-haired woman grins at her as
soon as she opens the door. Though her expression changes quite quickly when she takes note
of Lena’s arm around Kara’s waist, notices the woman immediately, all of her sister’s
drawings detailed enough for her to feel like she’s seen her a million of times before. And
Alex, fortunately, decides to be nice for once, says hi to both of them before she quickly
excuses herself.

But, of course, she is still a Danvers, and seeing as she is on her way to Sam’s, she really
can’t leave without at least a tiny bit of teasing. And so she turns to Lena, evil smirk on her
lips. “It’s really nice to finally see you in real life, but just a warning, you probably shouldn’t
ever look under Kara’s bed.”

And with that, she takes off, doesn’t turn around even when Kara yells a loud and angry, a
somewhat embarrassed, “Alex!!!” after her. She simply leaves them alone, a sheepish Kara
and a curious Lena left to deal with this mess on their own.

Kara looks at Lena once the door slams shut behind Alex, scared, her eyes wide, as if she’s
just waiting for Lena to ask, for her to say something, for her to possibly even leave. But
Lena turns out to be even more polite than Kara had already known. She doesn’t dwell on it,
simply smiles at Kara. “Come on, get your coat so we can go.”

//

It turns out, in less than seconds, that this walk is exactly what they needed.

They just talk and talk and hold hands all the while doing so. They share loud laughs and shy
smiles and they finally discuss everything that had went wrong between the two of them,
both cursing themselves for not having reached out, for not saying or doing anything for
actual weeks.

In the midst of that exact conversation, Kara grows bold, all of the sudden. She admits that
she’s been routinely visiting their coffee shop just in hopes of seeing her again, and she feels
so vulnerable telling her this, feels like she’s opening way too much, way too fast. But, to her
surprise, Lena admits that she’s been doing the same. That she’s been waiting there almost
every day, hoping she’d see her again, too scared to actually visit her on campus, but too
scared to not do anything either.

It’s almost an hours later when Lena brings it up again, the thing Alex has said. She feels
comfortable asking now, feels comfortable teasing a little now that everything seems to be
okay again. “Alright, care to tell me why your sister warned me about things under your bed?
Do I need to be concerned?”

To Lena’s delight and Kara’s dismay, the latter’s cheeks immediately turn bright red. She’s
already struggling to come up with an excuse. Though the stuttered sounds leaving her mouth
don’t sound like words at all, only start to be comprehensible once Lena reaches out to touch
Kara’s arm gently. The blonde thinks she should freak out even more, but instead she
suddenly feels a lot more comfortable. Her voice is still quiet when she admits it. “I… I’ve
been drawing you. Kind of, uhh, a lot.”

She blushes impossibly more when Lena raises her eyebrows in what seems to be genuine
surprise and a hint of curiousness. “Oh really, have you now?”

Kara nods, desperately hopes that Lena won’t judge her, won’t keep asking questions. Of
course, luck’s not on her side that day and when she nods, Lena immediately goes to speak
again.

“I want to see them!” It’s not what Kara expected, but she realizes that it’s better than any
reaction she imagined in her mind, and she smiles brightly until she realizes what kind of
drawings are under her bed. How inappropriate they are, at least some of them. And her smile
falls, makes Lena’s falter as well. “What’s the matter?”

Kara genuinely wonders if perhaps she should come up with an excuse. It’s the most logical
thing to do, really, but something tells her that Lena’s going to stick around and that she
won’t be shaken off as easily, and she knows that one day she’ll have to tell her anyways.
And so she does, right in that moment, trying not to think about the fact that even though
she’s using all of her courage to do so, Lena might still reject her for it. She’s putting herself
out there, and even though she knows it’s possible, she’s not ready to be hurt. “I-I, god, this
is… this is gonna sound so horrible, but- I mean, some of them might be kinda, you know…
inappropriate.”

And again, there are a thousand of ways Lena could react, but she chooses the one that Kara
expects the least. She laughs, loudly, shakes her head in amusement. There’s a mischievous
twinkle in her eyes and Kara is completely captivated, almost forgets just how embarrassed
she is. “Oh, Kara. And here I was thinking you were all sweet and innocent. Good to know
you have a naughty side as well.”

There’s an extremely suggestive and sexy quality to Lena’s voice now. It’s low and somewhat
hoarse, and Kara thinks she might die. She doesn’t know if it’s possible to blush harder, but if
it is, she does. Lena’s voice alone makes her whole body tremble, causes her to want to hide
and throw herself at Lena all at the same time. The actual words she’s saying just add to that,
fuel the fire that has started to settle low in her stomach.

She tries to say something, but she’s convinced Lena has actually caused her to forget how to
speak English, how to use words. Apparently it’s incredibly amusing, to watch her struggle
like this, because soon she can hear Lena laugh again. And it’s the most beautiful sound, the
only thing keeping Kara from wanting to crawl in a hole and hide forever.
“You know, since you’re into that kind of thing, perhaps I could model like that for you one
day, put on a little private show just for you.”

Kara doesn’t think it’s possible, but somehow she had managed to forget that they were still
walking, her feet acting on their own accord. And if it hadn’t been for Lena tentatively taking
her hand again, Kara would’ve walked straight into the street lamp in front of them.
End Notes

This took a while to write, between school and everything else going on, so comments and
kudos are highly appreciated.

Let me know what you think :)

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