UNIT 3: MARRIAGE RITES

MARRIAGE

Marriage is a union between a matured male and female who have by law agreed to live together as
husband and wife.

In African Traditional system, marriage is the union between two families as they

join their sons and daughters in the institution.

> The man and woman must go through the traditional, legal and religious laid down procedures before
they can become husband and wife.

Marriage is the oldest divine institution established by God in the Garden of Eden

Refer to Genesis 2:23 to 25 and Ephesians 5: 22 to 25. 1 Corinthians 7:2 to 7

Qur'an 2:35, 4:22 and 33:4.

Because of its importance as the legitimate means through which God multiplies

humanity, all the three main religions in Ghana have special marriage rites

TRADITIONAL OR CUSTOMARY MARRIAGE RITES

In our traditional practice, marriage involves the man and the woman concerned as well as their families.
Marriage rites are performed to initiate an adult into procreation or married life.

Procedures for customary or traditional marriage rites:

1. Choosing of spouse:

There are different ways of choosing partners. In some communities, parents

choose partners for their children. When a father feels that his son is ready for

marriage, he finds a suitable wife for him. In the past, most parents betrothed ther

daughters before they were old enough to marry.

Nowadays, parents who choose partners for their children seek their consent first

In some cases too, the young people make their own choice and inform their

parents. It is the customary practice for a man to seek the hand of a woman in

marriage. In most communities it is a taboo for a woman to propose love and

marriage to a man.

2. Investigation of spouse:

Before the marriage, most families try to investigate each other's background

They do this to find out if there is anything that will prevent a successful marriage
They investigate to find out answers to questions such as these:

(a) Are there any communicable or hereditary diseases like tuberculosis (TB)

leprosy, insanity (madness), or epilepsy in the family?

(b) Had there been any criminal record, e.g. murder or stealing?

(c) Is the family quarrelsome?

(d) Is the man or woman lazy?

(e) Can the man look after a wife?

It is only after both families are satisfied with their investigations that

marriage can be allowed.

TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE RITES AMONG THE AKANS

A man who wishes to marry discusses his intentions with the girl concerned. He has

to make sure the girl will agree to marry him before he informs his parents. He does

this through secret meetings with the girl and this is known as "Kasasie."

The man then tells his mother or an elderly person about his intentions. His mother

ar the elderly person will in turn inform his father. If the mother feels that the marriage

will not be possible for some reason, she will discourage him. When the father agrees.

an investigation will immediately start into the girl's conduct and family background.

When the boy's parents are satisfied, the father, through a delegation, informs the

girl's parents about his son's intention. This information is known as 'abowmu bodze

or 'opon-akyi bo' (knocking ceremony).

The announcement is made with a pot of palm wine or a bottle of schnapps. Some

amount of money is added to the drink. The amount paid differs from community to

community. The man may add some extra money to whatever custom demands. This

is usually to impress his in-laws that he can really look after their daughter. In some

communities, this money is regarded as a "token gift" for the girl's mother.

The girl's parents ask them to go back and come later for an answer. This is to enable

them find out if their daughter will agree to the marriage. They also investigate the

boy's conduct and family background. When they are satisfied, word is sent to the

man's family to come forward. It is the custom for a father to pay for the marriage
expenses of his son. But these

ays, most young men give the money to their fathers

for the marriage rites.

The father sends a message to the girl's parents to inform them of the date for the

marriage rites. Both parents inform their maternal relatives to send their representative to the
ceremony. On the appointed date, the man's father sends a delegation to perform the rites. There is the
offering of drinks known as "tiri nsa" (head drinks). In the past, it used to be palm wine, but now it is
schnapps. The "tiri nsa" traditionally seals the marriage. Some money is added to the drink. The amount
of money given differs from community to community. There is also a customary fee charged to be given
to the girl's mother. Her brothers too are given some money known as "akontagye sekan." Before the
payment of the customary drinks and the fee, the girl is formally called before the gathering to give her
final consent to the marriage. After accepting everything, the girl's family head pours libation asking for
protection and blessings for the new couple. He also prays that the marriage be blessed with children.
The rest of the drink is shared among the people present to signify that they are witnesses to the
marriage. Pieces of advice are then given to the couple. The man can then fix a date to take his wife
home or at any

There is another important rite which can be performed on the same time in their married life. It is an
amount of money which is known as 'ti-aseda' or 'ti-ade' paid to the girl's family. This is the 'bride
wealth. It is to show the man's appreciation to the girl's family for giving their daughter away.

In the past, the girl's family used this amount to pay any debt in the family. This is

done to give the girl the peace of mind to enjoy her marriage. Where there was no

such debt, it was used to buy some property, e.g. a land or a farm for her and her

future children. If there was a divorce, the husband could claim the 'ti-aseda or t

ade' from the wife's family.

A day is fixed to take the bride away to her husband. The bridegroom sends a pot of

palm wine or a bottle of schnapps to the bride's father for permission to take away his

wife. The head of family pours libation with it and blesses the couple again.

On reaching her husband's home, she is provided with food items by the husband to

prepare a special meal for relatives, friends, and himself. This special meal is known

as 'osenka' or 'aduane kese' (wedding feast). It is a marriage feast which is followed

by jubilation. Traditionally, the "osenka was prepared in the bride's home and sent to

the bridegroom's house where it was shared among relations and friends.

TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE RITES AMONG THE EWES

girl's father. This is done by the man's paternal and maternal aunties to inform the

girl's parents of their intentions. They present drinks known as "Vofofo" (knocking

ceremony) to the girl's family.

After the girl's parents have been informed, they ask the messengers (the man's

aunties) to come after a week or two for the answer. The period allows them (the girl's

parent's) time to consider their request and to make enquiries about the man and his

family. When the girl's parents are satisfied with the man's conduct and background,

they allow them to perform the necessary marriage rites.

Among some Ewe communities, when the girl's parents give their consent, the boy's

parents send a pot of palm wine to the family head to thank them. This is known as

"akpedaha" (thanksgiving drink). In the past, after the "akpedaha," the man served his

in-laws in various capacity e.g. helped them in their farms, mended their roofs, and

cut firewood for them. This practice is known as "sagolabla" (service to your in-laws).

Among the Anlo, when the girl's parents agree to the marriage, the bridegroom pays

a "volanu" (knocking fee). This consists of two bottles of local or imported gin. A date

is then fixed for the marriage ceremony.

On the appointed day, they all assemble in the girl's family head's house. The man

gives them a big pot of pa'n wine, two bottles of schnapps or local gin and a bundle

of tobacco. In addition, he provides a large trunk (today it's a suitcase) which contains

items of clothing and other things for the wife. When the girl's family inspects and

accepts the items, "sronu tabianu," the bride-wealth is paid to end the ceremony. The

amount paid differs from community to community. After this, a date is fixed for the

wife to join her husband.

Before the bride joins the husband, a short prayer is said to the ancestors asking for

their blessings on the couple. After the prayer, she is taken away by the husband's

aunts accompanied by her own aunts. On her arrival, she is warmly received by the bride-groom's father.
Here, the couple are advised again to live peacefully. After this,

the family head pours libation asking for a successful marriage.

NORTHERN AND UPPER REGIONS OF GHANA:

Marriage ceremonies among ethnic groups in the Northern and Upper Regions of

Ghana seem to be the same. When a man wants a wife, he starts giving the girl gifts.

The gifts are usually in the form of money, handkerchiefs, towels, etc. If she accepts

the gifts, then they become lovers.

Occasionally, the man presents gifts to the girl's family, especially the mother. The

gifts usually differ from community to community. They can be money, yams, meat,

cola, tobacco, drinks, leather bags, calabashes, and combs. These gifts could be

given out on behalf of the man by a relative. The presentation of the gifts is to make

the girl's family recognize the man as a would-be son-in-law.

When the man is ready to perform the marriage rites, he informs the girl's parents and

a day is fixed for the ceremony. On that day, the man's father sends the bride price.

In some communities, kola nuts and money would be sent to the girl's parents. She

then called and asked three times whether she likes to marry the man. If she agrees,

then, the kola nuts are distributed among the elders present. Each of them takes a

bite to show their approval. The money is shared among members of the girl's family.

This is to indicate that they are witnesses to the marriage ceremony.

Among some communities such as the Frafra, Mamprusi, Dagomba, and Kusasi, the

bridegroom pays the bride price with cows. The number of cows is determined by the

community. The man has to give that number before the girl becomes the "proper"

wife.

A day is fixed for the bride to go to her husband's house.

In some communities like the Sisala, the bride is accompanied by a sister who stays

with her for a few months. When she is taken to the husband's house, she is given to

an elderly woman to be taken care of for seven days. She is, however, visited by her

husband and his friends. During this period, she is shown the husband's farm and all

the things he owns. She is not given her own place such as a kitchen, until the

husband's parents are sure she can stay with them.

1. Today, most of the customs in traditional marriages are disappearing. Formal

education, Christianity, Islam, and other religions have influenced the marriage

ceremony.

2. Most parents no longer wait for the husband to provide a trunk full of the wife's

clothing before they allow her to join her husband.

3. In the Northern and Upper Regions where more than one cow is demanded, the

number has now been reduced to enable younger men marry.

4. Another change is that since most young people now work outside their

hometowns and villages, the bride is not sent to the bridegroom's house by her

aunts or relatives. Instead, the man arranges for his wife to join him at his station.

5. Some Christian and other religious groups as well as some educated people have

6. A Bible and a ring are added to the items presented to a Christian or educated

away other suitors. If for any reason the marriage does not take place, the

woman at the "knocking ceremony. The engagement ring is supposed to ke

weddings after the customary rites.

engagement ring and the Bible are returned to him.

CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE RITES

Christian marriage is based on the teachings of the Bible.

> Marriage is a divine institution ordained by God in the Garden of Eden.

> God said that it is not good for man to live alone, so he created a woman (wife) to

Refer to Genesis 2:20 to 25 and Ephesians 5:31.

serve as his helper.

to 6, 1 Corinthians 7:2 to 5.

Christian marriage is monogamous or one-man-one-wife. Refer to Matthew 194

Since God recognises the traditional marriage rites of society as the actual

marriage, Christian marriage ensures that the couple perform the traditional

marriage first before the Church blessings (wedding).

PROCEDURES FOR CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE RITES:

Christians pray to God to help them get the right husband or wife. Some fast and

seek God's guidance in their selection of a partner. They exercise the freedom to

select their own wife or husband.

2. Courtship and counselling:

When a Christian male chances on the right lady as a future wife, they go through

a period of courtship. This is the period used by both persons to study each other.

When they are satisfied, they inform either their marriage department of the

church or the pastor or minister to arrange for a marriage counselling. This may

take between two to six months. The counselling provides an avenue for them to

get deeper insight and information about Christian marriage.

3. Introduction, approval and negotiation:

The man formally introduces his fiancé to his parents. When the man's family

approves of the lady and her background, a delegation is sent formally to her

family to request her hand in marriage for their son. This gives the lady's family

an opportunity to also check the background of the man. When they are happy

and approve of the man, the bride list price is given to the man's family. Both

families fix a suitable date and venue for the marriage ceremony.

4. Knocking, marriage ceremony and payment of the bride price:

When the man's family is ready with the preparation or the bride price, the

marriage ceremony goes on as scheduled.

Early in the morning on that day, families of the bride and groom meet at the family

house of the bride for the ceremony. After exchanging greetings and stating ther

mission in the lady's compound, representatives from both sides serve as linguists

present

that carry message from the family heads or leaders of the families to the people

drinks into cash and present it at the ceremony. This is because Christians do not

The knocking is done on the same day. The groom's family convert the alcoholic

e of drinking alcoholic beverages.

successful end. The groom's family then present the bride price. The items are

displayed to those present and two people from both families are sent indoors to

approve

check on the content.

The bride price includes the following items:

Pieces of wax prints or cloth for the lady, father and mother-in-law.

iCrates of soft drinks, and bottles of non-alcoholic champagne.

Pairs of shoes, hand bags, ear rings, necklaces, panties and brassieres.

Sewing machine and accessories.

Cash amounts for the bride, father and mother, brothers, and an amount of

money to thank the family.

A Bible and a ring.

V.

Randing over of the bride to the groom's family:

When the bride's family are content with the bride price, the lady is then brought

from the room amidst singing, drumming and dancing. She is informed that the

family of the groom have presented the bride price and the family have inspected

them and are ready to accept it if she consent to it. She is asked three times

whether the items should be accepted. When she consents to it by saying "Yes",

her family also demand that they see their son-in-law. The groom is then brought

to the family.

The priest or pastor brings out the Bible and ring and prays over them. He then

hands over the Bible to the bride. He informs her that it is the reference material

or marriage manual and must be consulted anytime she has any difficulty in her

marriage.

He then gives a brief talk on the importance of the ring. It is made of gold which is

precious; hence, the marriage is a precious institution that should not be toyed

with. It must also serve as a reminder of her commitment to the husband and
God's institution of marriage. It is given to the groom who puts it on the left hand

ring finger of the bride.

& Church Service (Marriage blessing):

Note that in Ghana, the traditional marriage performed at the bride's family

compound is the true marriage contract or union that has been accepted and

sealed by God. Whatever goes on at the church premises is just blessing of the

marriage or wedding.

Wedding Ceremony at the Church

At the church, there is singing, dancing and general merry making to usher the newly married couple to
the premises. Prayers are said to commit the solemnisation of their marriage to God.

The couple make the marriage vow to God and the people present to remain lait

Marriage vows

to each other till death separate them.

They exchange rings to seal their vow to each other and to God almighty to re

Exchange of rings

faithful and respect God's marital institution till death.

A sermon or preaching is said to advise the couple and those present about the

Preaching/sermon

responsibilities and what they are to do when difficulties come their way.

Signing of marriage certificate

The couple, the pastor, and two representatives each from both families go to the

church office to sign the marriage certificate. The signing makes the marriage lega

as required by the laws of the land CAP 127 or Marriage under the Ordinance of 1834

Giving of offertory and gifts

Offertory, gifts and donations are made to the couples to help defray part of their cos

or expenditure.

Photographs

Memorable pictures are taken by the couple and the different class of people the

graced the occasion.

A reception is held for the gathering. The couple may decide to cut a wedding cake

or light a candle to add beauty to the once in a lifetime special occasion.

Closing prayer

A final prayer is said to bring the ceremony to an end. The couple shake hands and

are offered good will messages from those present.

SLAMIC MARRIAGE RITES

islamic marriage involves both traditional or customary and religious rites. Muslims

stipulated by the teachings of Allah in the Holy Qur'an. Refer to Qur'an 2:35, 4:3 and

see marriage as divine institution that must be respected and performed. This is

Procedures for Islamic marriage rites:

4:22

Selection of mate:

This is very important to the Muslim family. In a traditional Islamic home, parents

of the man search for a suitable wife for their son. However, in liberal Islamic

homes, parents allow their son to look for a suitable lady as a bride. Islam requires

that the bride and groom must consent to the marriage before any other

arrangement can be done.

However, Muslims choose their partners from amongst people with the Islamic

faith

2 Family meetings and negotiations:

The man's family formally make the marriage proposal to the lady's family. When

they approve of the proposal, both families meet at different times to discuss

issues relevant to the marriage. This paves way for the necessary background

checks to be made. This is to avoid prohibitive marriage, such as marriage

between close relations (incest). Qur'an 4:23 speaks against incest. When both

families are satisfied with the necessary check, a date is fixed for the marriage

ceremony.
3. The Bride price:

The Islamic marriage ceremony (called "Nikah") is held at a public place after the

bride price is paid in full. The bride price includes cash, pieces of wax prints, cola

nuts, and cowry shells. The items are presented to the lady's family on the day of

the ceremony. Without the payment of the dowry or bride price, Muslims do not

consider the marriage valid. All the family members share the cola nuts to show

that they agree to the marriage.

4. The Wedding Ceremony (Nickah):

A wedding ceremony is performed by a licensed Islamic priest, an Imam or a

Muezzin (the chosen person at a mosque who leads the call to prayer at Friday

services) almost immediately after the payment of the bride price.

Marriage vows are exchanged the couples are asked three times if they agree

to be married.

The Imam reads from the fourth chapter (Sura) of the Qu'ran and preaches on the

importance of marriage; the duties and blessing it brings

The Imam offers prayers to both families, the couple; Allah is invited to grace the

occasion to a successful end. The Islamic leaders and elders at the ceremony

give pieces of advice to the couple about marriage life and what they should

expect. The marriage is registered in Islamic book.

5. Wedding party

After the marriage ceremony, there is wedding party or feasting (called Walima

The wedding is marked by the singing of traditional Muslim music and dancing

Relatives, friends and well-wishers present gifts to the married couple.

6. Handing over of the bride to the groom:

The bride remains in her family home and her sisters and friends assist her to

pack all her belongings. In the evening, she is accompanied by family members

husband's home. She puts on a long veil called "Maayafi" to signify that she

loved ones and close friends amidst drumming, singing and dancing to he

married.
Islamic Marriage

Note:

It must be noted that Islamic marriages are polygamous. So the ladies are informes

before they go to their marital home. Her husband is at liberty to marry an additiona

three wives without objection from her. However, the husband must inform her art

seek her consent about his desire to marry additional wives.

THE IMPORTANCE OF MARRIAGE RITES

1. It brings the bride and groom's families together:

The performance of the marriage rites is a social and religious ceremony tha

brings unity or togetherness among both families. This allows them to engage in

other social activities like out-dooring, naming ceremonies and funerals together

2. It seals the marriage:

No marriage is complete without the marriage rites. When the bride price is pad

it means the marriage union is complete and the lady becomes the wife of the

man. The rites demonstrate to society that the bride and groom are now husband

and wife. So, what God has put together, let no man separate. Refer to Mathe

19:4 to 6, 1 Corinthians 7:2 and 1 Timothy 3:2, 5:9.

3. It introduces the couple to the community:

The performance of the marriage rites is a social event that formally introduces

the newlywed to the entire community or society. It demonstrates to the public that the lady is now the
legal wife of the groom; hence, all bachelors should keep off

and vice versa

4. It meets the approval of God, the gods and ancestral spirits:

Marriage is a divine institution by God. Humans are expected to respect and

comply with its requirements. When the rites are performed, it satisfies God's plan,

commandments and approval. It is the desire of God that all matured adults get

their own husbands and wives. Because God saw that it was not good for man to

be alone. Refer Genesis 2:18.

5. The couples are introduced to the moral values of married life:

fasting and sharing of pieces of advice from the older generation. This helps the

couple to appreciate many of the virtues expected of them. Through counselling,

both parties understand their role and responsibilities in the marital institution.

Refer to Ephesians 5: 25 to 33, Titus 2:5, and Proverbs 12:4.

6. It gives couples the legal right to be seen as husband and wife:

The payment and acceptance of the bride price gives the bride and groom the

right to be addressed as Mr. and Mrs. or husband and wife. This allows them to

engage in "holy sex at all times. Marriage is holy and its bed (sexual relationship)

is pure. Hebrew 13:4.

Society accords them the respect as being responsible adults.

7. Marriage rites provide economic security to the lady:

The money that is paid as part of the bride price serves as an economic security

to the lady. She may use it to start a business or learn a trade. In Islamic marriage,

cattle are used to provide security for the woman and children that may be born.

ACTIVITY 3.4: Pupils to discuss the importance of Marriage rites

PROBLEMS IN MARRIAGE

1. Childlessness (infertility or barrenness):

Some couples see procreation as the main reason why they married. Therefore,

when they are not blessed with children, they become disturbed.

There are many causes of childlessness. Examples are low sperm count,

untreated sexually transmitted infection, blocked fallopian tubes, malfunction of

the ovaries etc. Some of these causes can be addressed medically.

2. External influences from close relations:

Some marriages are not stable due to influences from in-laws, friends, close

associates and former relations. These external interferences may put pressure

on the finances, decisions and privacy of the couple.

3. Financial problems:

Sometimes financial difficulty due to unemployment, ill health, laziness and

position of the couple and this may threaten the stability of the marriage

Unnecessary budgeting and poor planning by couples may also account for their

poor financial situation.

4. Incompatibility between the couple:

Many people commit the mistake of marrying those who do not share their vision

among some couples and if not addressed, may lead to difficulties which will result

ideas and perception in life. These differences are a source of incompatibility

in divorce.

5. Communication problem:

views and opinions without arguing. These problems sometimes result from

Some couples are not the best of friends. They do not talk or openly express their

differences in the level of education, perceptions and interests, and aspirations in

life by the couple. The lack of communication affects stability, happiness, joy and

coexistence, which are basic conditions for a successful marriage.

6. Religious differences:

Sometimes people from different religious background or faith are not able to

agree on basic issues of life. These differences can undermine the stability and

happiness of the couple. For example, many Muslim-Christian marriages do not

work because of the differences in belief.

7. Adultery and unfaithfulness:

Some married couples are not honest and faithful to their partners. Some engage

in extra-marital affairs.

HOW TO SUSTAIN A MARRIAGE OR MAKE A MARRIAGE SUCCESSFUL

Marriage is a sacred institution ordained by God and so couples must work hard to

ensure that it is sustained and maintained at all cost. God does not approve of divorce

Therefore, it is important that difficulties and challenges that come our way in

marriages should be addressed. Refer to Matthew 5:31 to 32; Mark 10:11 to 12 and

Malachi 2:14.
Ways of sustaining a marriage

1. A man must have the means for livelihood before going for a partner

2. Both partners must be religious

3. Both partners must have good morals

4. Both partners must build mutual trust and understanding:

Marriage involves give and take on the part of the couple. Compromise is the

basic condition in every marriage. Therefore, for any marriage to be sustained

couples must trust each other and understand the sentiments of each. This wil

breed peace, happiness and trust that will sustain the marriage even in times of

difficulty.

5. Both partners should openly discuss issues and problems together:

Couples must discuss issue openly and think carefully about the decisions they

take. This leads to togetherness, love, respect and understanding in the marriage.

6. Both partners must learn to nurture their love:

Marriage is a lifelong union between two people of opposite sex. As a result, they

should pray together, show affection and love, and build intimacy. What caused

the love to be ignited at the beginning should be sustained and improved upon.

7. Couples should avoid quarrels, insults and name calling:

Couples should settle their differences amicably in order to prevent insults and

quarrel. Love conquers all, only when peace prevails in the home. Married couples

should learn to forgive and forget any acts of omission, insults and bad comments

by their spouse. It is only when couples learn to forgive and forget and apologise

easily that they can heal their negative perception, anger, and misgivings.

8. Couples should avoid making comparison with others:

Every marriage is unique and special. Therefore, couples should understand their

situation and not look up to others. They should try and resolve their differences

as they arise.

9. Couples should learn to create their own happiness:

Marriage can be sustained when couples learn to create their own happiness.
Couples should do things together by engaging in sports, attending beach parties

and picnics, dinners, outdooring, funerals and church. This will cement their love,

marriage bond and friendship, which are vital for stabilising the marriage.

THE IMPORTANCE OF SUSTAINING A MARRIAGE

1. To provide security or protection for the couples

2. To help support the family

3. To raise children in a secured environment

4. To maintain the friendship between families of the couples

5. To avoid public ridicule

6. To maintain respect in society

LIKELY BECE ESSAY QUESTIONS

1. (a) What is marriage rite?

(b) Describe the procedure involved in traditional marriage in the selection of a

spouse

(c) State the importance of investigating the background of spouses before

marriage

2. (a)

(1) State five facts about traditional marriage.

(b)

(1) Show how religion has affected any two of the facts mentioned in (1)

Write short notes on the following

(i) "Kasasie"

(ii) "tiri naa"

(iii) "akpedaha"

3. (a)

State two similarities and two differences between traditional marriage and

either Christian or Islamic marriage.

(b) Describe how Christians or Muslims perform their wedding ceremony.

4. (a) State four importance of marriage rite.

(c) Suggest two solutions to the problems you have listed in (b)

(d) State four ways of sustaining marriage

BECE 2007

(a) Describe how marriage ceremony is performed in Islam

(b)State three things which make marriages successful