THE CHRISTIAN CONCEPT OF MARRIAGE

ABSTRACT

Marriage holds a central place in Christian theology and has been regarded as a sacred

institution for centuries. Rooted in biblical teachings, the Christian concept of marriage

emphasizes the union of one man and one woman as a covenant established by God. This

abstract explores the key elements of the Christian understanding of marriage, including

its purpose, significance, and ethical implications. The foundation of Christian marriage

lies in the Book of Genesis, where God establishes the institution of marriage as a bond

between a man and a woman, designed for companionship, procreation, and the reflection

of God’s image. The covenantal nature of Christian marriage is highlighted, wherein the

couple pledges their lifelong commitment to each other and to God. This covenant is

believed to reflect the sacred and unbreakable bond between Christ and the Church,

serving as a visible representation of divine love and fidelity. Christian marriage is

regarded as a vocation and a calling, wherein the couple is called to support and nurture

each other, to grow in holiness together, and to raise godly offspring. The importance of

mutual love, respect, and self-sacrifice is emphasized, mirroring the selfless love

exemplified by Christ’s sacrifice on the cross. Additionally, the Christian concept of

marriage promotes the cultivation of virtues such as patience, forgiveness, and humility,

which contribute to the building of a strong and harmonious marital relationship.

CHAPTER ONE

INTRODUCTION

1.1 Background of the Study

Marriage is a foundational institution that is integral to human society, recognized in

various forms across cultures and legal systems. In legal terms, marriage is a contract

between individuals that establishes rights and obligations between them and their

offspring. This legal framework ensures mutual responsibilities, such as financial

support, inheritance rights, and parental duties, providing a structured environment for

raising children and sustaining family units. Traditionally, marriage has been seen as a

union that not only bonds two individuals but also unites families and communities,

promoting social stability and continuity. In many cultures, marriage is considered a

sacred rite, deeply embedded in societal norms and values. These traditions often dictate

the roles, duties, and expectations of the married partners, emphasizing the importance of

lineage, inheritance, and social order. For instance, practices such as monogamy and

polygamy, arranged marriages, and love marriages reflect the diverse ways societies

understand and practice marriage. These cultural customs often intersect with legal

norms, creating a comprehensive understanding of marriage that adapts to changing

social dynamics while maintaining core principles.

In Christianity, marriage is more than just a social or legal contract; it is seen as a sacred

covenant instituted by God. The Bible presents marriage as a divine ordinance that

reflects the relationship between Christ and the Church. Genesis 2:24 (NIV) states, "That

is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one

flesh." This verse highlights the unity and indissolubility that marriage is meant to

embody. Furthermore, Jesus reaffirms this in Matthew 19:6 (NIV): "So they are no longer

two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate."

Christian marriages are characterized by principles of mutual love, fidelity, and the
pursuit of holiness. The Apostle Paul, in his letters, provides a detailed blueprint for

marital relationships. Ephesians 5:25-28 (NIV) instructs, "Husbands, love your wives,

just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy... In this

same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies." This passage

emphasizes the self-sacrificial nature of love that should exist within a Christian

marriage. Additionally, 1 Peter 3:7 (NIV) advises, "Husbands, in the same way be

considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner

and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers."

The sanctity of marriage is further elaborated by its role as a sacrament in many Christian

traditions, particularly in the Catholic Church. The Catechism of the Catholic Church

(CCC 1601) describes marriage as "a matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a

woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life, which is by its

nature ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of

offspring; this covenant between baptized persons has been raised by Christ the Lord to

the dignity of a sacrament." This sacramental view holds that marriage is a means of

grace, sanctifying the spouses and drawing them closer to God. Moreover, the

permanence and exclusivity of marriage are reiterated throughout the Bible. Malachi 2:16

(NIV) states, "'The man who hates and divorces his wife,' says the LORD, the God of

Israel, 'does violence to the one he should protect,' says the LORD Almighty. So be on

your guard, and do not be unfaithful." This passage underscores the importance of fidelity

and the detrimental effects of divorce. Additionally, Hebrews 13:4 (NIV) declares,

"Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge
the adulterer and all the sexually immoral." These verses emphasize the call to purity and

faithfulness within the marriage covenant.

Christian marriages are characterized by several distinct features, including mutual love,

fidelity, and the pursuit of holiness. The commitment between spouses is not only to each

other but also to God, emphasizing the spiritual dimension of their union. This covenantal

aspect sets Christian marriages apart, as it underlines the belief that marriage is a lifelong,

exclusive partnership blessed by God. The characteristics of Christian marriages are often

highlighted in church teachings and ceremonies, where the sanctity and indissolubility of

the marriage bond are stressed.

1.2 Statement of the Problem

Despite the clear doctrinal teachings on Christian marriages, there are significant

challenges in articulating and maintaining these principles in contemporary society. One

major issue is the increasing secularization and changing societal norms that often

conflict with traditional Christian values. This shift has led to a growing ambiguity and

misunderstanding about the nature and purpose of marriage as defined by Christian

doctrine. For instance, the emphasis on individual autonomy and personal fulfillment in

modern culture can clash with the Christian ideals of selflessness and sacrificial love

within marriage.

This research aims to address these doctrinal challenges by providing a detailed

examination of the Christian concept of marriage, particularly within the context of the
Ekpeye people in Rivers State, Nigeria. By exploring how Christian marriage principles

are understood, practiced, and challenged within this specific cultural setting, the study

intends to offer insights and solutions that can help church leaders, members, and

theologians reinforce and uphold the sanctity of marriage according to Christian

teachings.

1.3 Research Questions

1. What are the major characteristics of Christian marriages?

2. What are the main challenges faced by Christians in adhering to the Christian

concept of marriage?

3. How can church leaders and members better support and promote Christian

marriage principles’?

1.4 Aims and Objectives

The primary aim of this research is to elucidate the Christian concept of marriage. The

specific objectives include:

1. To identify and describe the characteristics of Christian marriage.

2. To investigate the challenges faced by Christians in practicing the principles of

Christian marriage.

3. To provide recommendations for church leaders, members, and theologians on

supporting and promoting Christian marriage values.

1.5 Significance of the Research

This research will prove significant as follows:

To Church Elders and Pastors

This research will provide church elders and pastors with a deeper understanding of the

specific challenges and needs related to Christian marriages. It will offer practical

recommendations for pastoral care and guidance, helping them to better support married

couples and those preparing for marriage.

To Church Members

For church members, this study will serve as an educational resource that reinforces the

importance of adhering to Christian marriage principles. It will address common issues

and misconceptions, offering a clearer, biblically grounded understanding of marriage.

To the Field of Theology

In the field of theology, this research contributes to the ongoing discourse on the

intersection of faith, culture, and marriage. It provides a case study that highlights the

contextual application of Christian doctrines, enriching the theological understanding of

marriage in diverse cultural settings.

1.6 Scope of the Research

The purpose of this research is to provide a comprehensive examination of the Christian

concept of marriage based on biblical teachings. This research will be limited to

Christians in the Ekpeye village, focusing specifically on the Ekpeye people in Rivers
State, Niger Delta, Nigeria. The instruments used in this research were questionnaires,

interviews, and other research instruments. The sample of this study is drawn from

Baptist members in Ahoada East; it did not extend to other churches in Ahoada West.

The questionnaire was administered on five selected churches; which were First Baptist

Church Ahoada, United Baptist Church Ahoada, Gloryland Baptist Church Ahoada,

Central Baptist Church Edoaha and First Baptist Church Odiabidi. The researcher

administered the questionnaires on some members while the pastors were interviewed.

1.7 Definition of Terms

This section puts into practical sense the use of major words to be applied in this work by

way of definition. The words such as; Christian, divorce, re-marriage are defined for easy

comprehension.

Christian

A person professing belief in Jesus as the Christ or in the religion based on the teaching

of Jesus Christ.

Marriage

2.2 Biblical Foundation of Christian Marriage

Old Testament Teachings

The Old Testament lays the foundational principles for marriage, starting with the

creation narrative. Genesis 2:24 (NIV) states, "That is why a man leaves his father and

mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." This verse establishes the
concept of marital unity and the leaving-and-cleaving principle, which signifies a new,

primary human relationship. The book of Proverbs frequently highlights the virtues of a

good spouse and the benefits of a harmonious marriage (Proverbs 18:22; 31:10-31),

emphasizing the importance of mutual respect and shared values.

New Testament Teachings

The New Testament reinforces and expands upon the Old Testament teachings on

marriage. Jesus Christ affirms the sanctity and permanence of marriage in Matthew 19:4-

6 (NIV): "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them

male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be

united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one

flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." The Apostle Paul

provides a detailed exposition of marital roles and responsibilities in Ephesians 5:22-33

(NIV), comparing the relationship between husband and wife to that between Christ and

the Church.

Covenant

In a biblical context, a covenant is a solemn agreement or promise between God and His

people. In Christian marriage, the covenant is the sacred vow between the husband and

wife, witnessed and blessed by God, committing them to a lifelong partnership of mutual

love, fidelity, and support (Malachi 2:14, Matthew 19:6).

Sacrament
A sacrament in Christian theology is an outward and visible sign of inward and spiritual

divine grace. In many Christian traditions, marriage is considered a sacrament, signifying

the grace of God bestowed upon the couple, sanctifying their union and enabling them to

live out their vows in love and faithfulness (Catechism of the Catholic Church 1601,

Ephesians 5:31-32).

Fidelity

Fidelity refers to faithfulness to a person, cause, or belief, demonstrated by continuing

loyalty and support. In the context of Christian marriage, fidelity is the commitment to

remain faithful to one's spouse in all aspects of life, including emotional, physical, and

spiritual exclusivity (Hebrews 13:4, Proverbs 5:18-19).

Holiness

Holiness in Christian doctrine refers to the state of being holy, which involves being set

apart for God and living a life that is pleasing to Him. In marriage, holiness pertains to

the couple’s dedication to nurturing a relationship that honors God and reflects His

righteousness and purity (1 Peter 1:15-16, Ephesians 5:25-27).

Mutual Love

Mutual love in Christian marriage is the reciprocal affection and commitment between

spouses, characterized by selflessness, sacrifice, and unconditional support. This concept

is exemplified in the biblical command for husbands to love their wives as Christ loved
the Church and for wives to respect their husbands (Ephesians 5:25-33, 1 Corinthians

13:4-7).

Unity

Unity in marriage refers to the state of being united or joined as a whole. In Christian

doctrine, this unity is expressed through the "one flesh" principle, where the husband and

wife are no longer two separate entities but one cohesive unit in mind, body, and spirit

(Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:6).

Sanctity

Sanctity refers to the quality of being holy and sacred. In the context of Christian

marriage, sanctity emphasizes the divine nature of the marital union, which is consecrated

by God and should be treated with reverence and respect (Hebrews 13:4, Malachi 2:14-

16).

Adultery

Adultery is defined as voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and

someone who is not their spouse. In Christian teachings, adultery is considered a grave

sin that violates the sanctity and exclusivity of the marriage covenant (Exodus 20:14,

Matthew 5:27-28).

Divorce
Divorce is the legal dissolution of a marriage by a court or other competent body. In

Christian doctrine, divorce is generally discouraged and permitted only under certain

circumstances, such as marital unfaithfulness, emphasizing the permanence of the marital

covenant (Matthew 19:6-9, Malachi 2:16).

CHAPTER TWO

REVIEW OF RELATED LITERATURE

2.1 Introduction

Marriage was divinely established in Eden and affirmed by Jesus to be a union between a

man and a woman that will last forever in loving companionship. For the Christian, a

marriage commitment is both to God as well as to the spouse, and should be entered into

only between partners who share a common faith. The main ingredients of this

relationship should be Mutual love, honour, respect, and responsibility, which are to

reflect the love, sanctity, closeness, and permanence of the relationship between Christ

and His church. The teaching of Jesus about divorce was that any person who divorces a

spouse, except for fornication, and marries another, commits adultery. Although some

family relationships may have divorced for other reasons, Christians believe that

marriage partners who remain faithful to each other in Christ may achieve loving unity

through the guidance of the Holy Spirit and the church.

There is not much evidence on the origins of marriage, as it evolved across-cultures at

different times, and has been defined in various ways. There is an understanding that, the

family is older than marriage as an institution. According to Coontz, Stephanie (2005),

―the issues of whether the earliest societies had monogamous or polygamous marriages,

practiced sexual restraint or sexual freedom, were much debated among social scientists,

although those debates produced social theories that were based more on ideology than

empirical facts. For example, Friedrich Engels, a critic of capitalistic economies and

patriarchal families, argued that ―female dominated families were in existence in early

primitive societies, where property was held jointly, sexual relations among couples were

relaxed, and the family, when it was discrete from the larger group, was defined by

mothers and their children. On the other hand, theories that are inclined to religion also
held that male-dominated and monogamous marriages were ordained and sanctioned by

God and had always been in existence

This chapter reviews existing literature on Christian marriage, exploring its biblical

foundation, theological interpretations, and practical applications. It also examines the

challenges faced by Christian marriages in contemporary society and the role of the

church in supporting and promoting these values.

2.2 The Concept and Biblical Basis for Marriage

Marriage is the most basic and influential societal unit in the world. It is difficult to

overestimate the importance of marriage, yet each year in Nigeria there are about half as

many divorces as marriages. In view of this, it behooves the researcher to consider the

biblical basis for marriage and divorce.

2.2.1 A Biblical View of Marriage

The Nature of Marriage

Both the nature and length of marriage are important from a Christian perspective.

Marriage is a lifelong commitment between a male and a female that involves mutual

sexual rights. There are some basic elements in the biblical concept of marriage.

Marriage is between a male and a female. A biblical marriage is between a biological

male and a biological female. This is clear from the very beginning. God created "male

and female” (Gen. 1:27) and commanded them to "be fruitful and increase in number” (v.

28). Natural reproduction is possible only through male and female union. According to

the Scriptures, God “formed man of the dust of the ground” (Gen. 2:7). Then “God made

a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man” (v. 22). The Bible explains: “For this
reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will

become one flesh” (v. 24).1

The use of the terms husband and wife in the context of “father” and “mother” makes it

clear that the reference is to a biological male and female. Referring to the creation of

Adam and Eve and their marital union, the Lord cited the passage from Genesis saying,

“At the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female’” (Matt. 19:4). Then Jesus

quoted this very passage about leaving father and mother and cleaving to one’s wife (v.

5), thus confirming that marriage is to be between a male and a female. So, the first and

most basic characteristic of marriage is that it is a union between a male and a female.

Marriage involves sexual union. It is also clear from Scripture that marriage involves

sexual union. It is called a union of “one flesh.” That marriage includes sex is evident

from its use by Paul in 1 Corinthians 6:16, where Paul uses the same phrase to condemn

prostitution. God commanded that the “male and female” he created would give birth to

children (Gen. 1:28). This is possible only by sexual union between biological male and

female. After God created them and expelled them from Eden, the Bible says, “Adam lay

with his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain” (Gen. 4:1). When

speaking to the matter of sex in marriage, the apostle Paul wrote clearly in I Corinthians

7:24 saying:

But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and

each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his

wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to

1
Norman L. Geisler, Christian Ethics: Options and Issues (Leicester: Inter-Varsity Press, 1989),
279.
 her alone but also to her husband. In the same way the husband’s body does not

belong to him alone but also to his wife” [1 Cor. 7:24].

In short, marriage involves the right to sexual union between a male and a female.

Sexual intercourse before marriage is called fornication (Acts 15:20; 1 Cor. 6:18), and

sexual intercourse outside of marriage is called adultery (Exod. 20:14; Matt. 19:9). Under

the Old Testament law, those who engaged in premarital intercourse were obligated to

marry (Dent. 22:28 29). Sex is sanctified by God for marriage only (1 Cor. 7:2). Hence,

the writer of Hebrew declared “marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed

kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral” (Heb. 13 4,

NIV).2

Although marriage involves sexual rights, it is not limited to sex. Marriage is a

companionship (Mal. 2:14), a union that is much more than sexual relation. It is a social

and spiritual union. Furthermore, the purpose of sex is more than procreation. Sexual

relations in marriage threefold: propagation (Gen. 1:28), unification (Gen. 2:24), and

recreation (Prov. 5:18-19).

Marriage involves a covenant before God. Marriage is not only a union between male and

female involving conjugal (sexual) rights, but it is a union born of a covenant of mutual

promises. This commitment is implied from the very beginning in the concept of leaving

parent: and cleaving to one’s wife. The marital covenant was stated most explicitly by the

prophet Malachi when he wrote: “The Lord has been a witness between you and the wife

of your youth. against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion

and your wife by covenant.” (Mal. 2:14 NASB). Proverbs also speaks of marriage as a
2
Geisler, 281.
"covenant” or mutual commitment. It condemns the adulteress “who has left the partner

of her youth and ignored the covenant she made before God” (Prov. 2:17). From these

passages it is evident that marriage is not only a covenant, but one of which God is a

witness. It was God who instituted marriage, and it is he who witnesses the vows. They

are literally made "before God.” Jesus said that it is God who literally joins the two

together in marriage, adding, “therefore, what God has joined together, let man not

separate” (Matt. 19:6).

One further note on the nature of marriage is that it is a God-ordained institution for all

people, not just for Christians. Marriage is the only social institution that God ordained

before the fall of mankind. The Book of Hebrews declares that marriage "should be

honored by all (people)" (Heb. 13:4). Thus, God has ordained marriage for non-

Christians as well as Christians. And he is the witness of all weddings, whether invited or

not. Marriage is a sacred institution whether the couple recognize it or not.3

The Duration of Marriage

The Bible is very clear about the duration of marriage: It is a lifelong commitment; it is

designed to last for time but not for eternity. Marriage is a lifelong commitment. The

lifelong nature of marriage is entailed in the concept of permanence in marriage to which

Jesus referred when he said, “What God has joined together, let man not separate” (Matt.

19:6). It is also stated by Paul when he says, "By law a married woman is bound to her

husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of

marriage” (Rom‘ 7:2). These concepts underlie the time-honored phrase in the marriage

ceremony, "till death do us part.”

3
Geielser, 280.
Marriage is not eternal. While marriage is a lifetime covenant before God, it does not

extend into eternity. For as Jesus made clear, “at the resurrection people will neither

marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like angels in heaven” (Matt. 22:30).

Although we will undoubtedly be able to recognize our loved ones in heaven, there will

be no marriage in heaven. Furthermore, the fact that widows could remarry (1 Cor. 7:89)

indicates that their commitment was only until the death of their mate.

Contrary to Mormon teachings about celestial marriage “for time and eternity,” the Bible

is emphatic about the fact that marriage is only an earthly institution. It is for time but not

for all eternity. This conclusion cannot be avoided by claiming that Jesus only denied

there would be any marriage ceremonies in heaven but not any marriage relationships.

For it was precisely about the marriage relationship in heaven that he was asked when he

gave his answer. For they asked him, "at the resurrection whose wife will she be of the

seven, since all of them were married to her?” (Matt. 22:28). His answer was: She will

not have a marital relationship with any of them, since there will be no marriage

relationship in heaven after the resurrection.4

The Number of Parties in Marriage

There is another 'fact about which Christians agree: marriage is monogamous. It is for

one man and one wife. Paul said, “Each man [singular] should have his own wife

[singular], and each woman her own husband” (1 Cor. 7:2). An elder must be “the

husband of but one wife” (1 Tim. 3:2). But monogamy is not merely a New Testament

teaching. It was present from the very beginning, when God created one man (Adam) and

gave him only one wife (Eve).

4
Geisler, 280..
Some have questioned if monogamy is God’s order for marriage, then why did he seem

to approve of polygamy? Many of the great saints of the Old Testament were

polygamists, including Abraham, Moses, and David. Indeed, Solomon had seven hundred

wives and three hundred concubines (l King9 11:3)! In response, it should be noted that

the Bible does not approve of everything it records, at least not explicitly. For example,

the Bible records Satan’s lie (Gen. 3:4) but certainly does not approve of it. Likewise, it

records David’s adultery (2 Sam. 11) but does not approve of it.

Contrary to widespread opinion, the Bible does speak strongly against polygamy in both

the Old and New Testaments. This is evident from many passages of Scripture.

Monogamy was taught by precedent in the Old Testament. God gave Adam only one

wife; this set the precedent for the whole race to follow. Monogamy was also taught by

precept. God told Moses, "Neither shall [you] multiply wives” (Deut. 17:17 NASB).

Thus polygamy was expressly forbidden.

Monogamy was taught as well in the moral prescription against adultery. It is implied in

the moral prescription “You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife [singular]” (Exod.

20:17). This implies that there was only one lawful wife the neighbor could have.

Monogamy was taught by population proportion. Roughly equal numbers of males and

females are born. If God designed polygamy, there should be more women than men.

Finally, monogamy is taught by punishment. Every polygamist in the Old Testament paid

bitterly for his sin. Solomon is the classic example. The Bible declares that “his wives

turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the LORD his

God” (1 Kings 11:4).

The fact that God permitted polygamy does not mean that He prescribed it; God

permitted divorce indicates that he desired it. What Jesus said of divorce is true also of

polygamy; it was “permitted . . . because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way

from the beginning” (Matt. 19:8).

The Bible clearly presents marriage as a permanent, intimate union between a husband

and wife, (Gen. 2:18-25; Matt. 19:5; Mark 10:2-12; 1 Cor. 7:39). This is God’s

unchanging ideal, but since the fall, human beings have lived on a subideal level. The

Bible recognizes this, and so in Deut. 24:1-4 there are brief guidelines that govern the

practice of divorce-a practice that is tolerated but never commanded or divinely

encouraged.

According to the Old Testament, divorce was to be legal (with a written document),

permanent, and permissible only when “uncleanness” was involved. Regrettably, the

meaning of “uncleanness” became a subject for debate. Some maintained that it included

any inappropriate behavior; others restricted the term and argued that uncleanness

referred only to sexual infidelity. Jesus seems to have agreed with this second view,

(Matt. 5:31-32; 19:3-9.5

In the New Testament, Jesus reaffirmed the permanent nature of marriage, pointed out

that divine permission for divorce was only given because of human sinfulness (and not

because it was God’s ideal), stated that sexual immorality was the only legitimate cause

for divorce, and clearly taught that the one who divorces a sexually unfaithful spouse and

marries another commits adultery (and causes the new mate to also commit adultery,

Matt.19:9; Luke 16:18).

5
Zwack, 67.
Like the Jewish leaders who questioned the meaning of uncleanness, some modern

scholars have debated the meaning of “except for marital unfaithfulness” in Matt. 5:32

and 19:9. The Greek word for unfaithfulness is pomeia, which refers to all sexual

intercourse apart from marriage. This behavior violates the one-flesh concept that is so

basic to biblical marriage.6

Even when unfaithfulness is involved, divorce is neither the solution nor commended; it

is neither to be recommended; it is merely permitted. Forgiveness and reconciliation still

are preferable to divorce. Nevertheless, if divorce does occur under these circumstances,

it is the opinion of many evangelical biblical scholars that the innocent party is free to

remarry.

In responding to a question from the Corinthians, the apostle echoes Christ’s teaching and

then adds a second permissible cause for divorce: desertion by an unbelieving mate, (1

Cor. 7:15). This same passage deals with religious incompatibility-when a believer and

an unbeliever are married. These theologically mixed marriages are not to ended divorce

(except when the unbeliever deserts), even though the differences in religious beliefs may

create tension in the home. By staying married, the believing mate sanctifies the

marriage. Regarding this, Paul wrote that with time, the non-believing mate may be

brought to Christ.7

2.3 Theological Interpretations of Christian Marriage

6
Ibid.
7
Zwack, 34.
2.3.1 Marriage as a Covenant

The concept of marriage as a covenant is a central theme in Christian theology. This view

sees marriage not merely as a contract but as a sacred agreement that mirrors God's

covenantal relationship with His people. According to this perspective, marriage involves

commitments that go beyond legal obligations, encompassing spiritual and moral

dimensions (Malachi 2:14; Ephesians 5:31-32). Theologians like Karl Barth and Dietrich

Bonhoeffer have emphasized the covenantal nature of marriage, highlighting its role in

reflecting divine faithfulness and love.

2.3.2 Sacramental View of Marriage

In many Christian traditions, particularly within Catholicism, marriage is regarded as a

sacrament. The sacramental view holds that marriage is an outward sign instituted by

Christ to give grace. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC 1601),

"The matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a woman establish between themselves

a partnership of the whole of life, is by its nature ordered toward the good of the spouses

and the procreation and education of offspring; this covenant between baptized persons

has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament." This understanding

underscores the sanctifying and grace-bestowing character of the marital union.

2.3.3 Marriage as a Reflection of Christ and the Church

Ephesians 5:25-33 presents marriage as a metaphor for the relationship between Christ

and the Church. This analogy underscores the self-sacrificial love that husbands are

called to exhibit towards their wives, akin to Christ's love for the Church. The reciprocal
submission and respect outlined in this passage form the basis for mutual love and

fidelity in Christian marriage. Theologians have explored this analogy to develop a

comprehensive theology of marriage that emphasizes love, sacrifice, and unity.

2.4 Practical Applications of Christian Marriage Principles

2.4.1 Roles and Responsibilities within Christian Marriage

Christian marriage principles delineate specific roles and responsibilities for husbands

and wives. Husbands are called to love their wives sacrificially (Ephesians 5:25-28),

while wives are encouraged to respect their husbands (Ephesians 5:33). These roles are

not about hierarchy but about complementary functions that promote harmony and

mutual edification. The practical outworking of these roles involves daily acts of love,

respect, and service, creating a nurturing and supportive marital environment.

2.4.2 Communication and Conflict Resolution

Effective communication and conflict resolution are crucial for maintaining a healthy

Christian marriage. Biblical teachings advocate for honest and loving communication

(Ephesians 4:15, 29) and provide guidelines for resolving conflicts in a manner that

honors God and strengthens the marital bond (Matthew 18:15-17). Christian marriage

literature emphasizes the importance of forgiveness, patience, and understanding in

addressing disagreements and fostering reconciliation.

2.4.3 Sexual Intimacy and Fidelity

The Bible emphasizes the significance of sexual intimacy within marriage as a means of

expressing love and unity. 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 (NIV) highlights the mutual

responsibilities of spouses in maintaining sexual relations, promoting physical and

emotional closeness. Fidelity is paramount, as reiterated in Hebrews 13:4 (NIV):

"Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge

the adulterer and all the sexually immoral." Upholding purity and exclusivity in marriage

is essential for its sanctity and integrity.

2.5 Challenges Faced by Christian Marriages

2.5.1 Secularization and Changing Societal Norms

One of the significant challenges faced by Christian marriages today is the secularization

of society and the evolving societal norms that often conflict with traditional Christian

values. The emphasis on individualism, personal fulfillment, and fluid definitions of

marriage and family can undermine the biblical principles of marriage as a covenantal

and sacrificial relationship. Christian couples may struggle to reconcile their faith with

societal expectations, leading to tensions and conflicts within the marriage.

2.5.2 Divorce and Marital Breakdown

The increasing rates of divorce and marital breakdown present a severe challenge to the

Christian concept of marriage. Despite the biblical emphasis on the permanence of

marriage (Matthew 19:6), many Christian couples face pressures that lead to separation
and divorce. Factors such as infidelity, financial stress, and lack of communication

contribute to marital instability. Addressing these issues requires robust pastoral support,

counseling, and a recommitment to biblical principles of forgiveness, reconciliation, and

perseverance.

2.6 The Role of the Church in Supporting Christian Marriages

2.6.1 Premarital Counseling and Education

The church plays a critical role in preparing couples for marriage through premarital

counseling and education. Programs that teach biblical principles of marriage,

communication skills, conflict resolution, and financial management can equip couples to

build strong, healthy marriages. Churches can provide a supportive community that

reinforces the sacredness of marriage and offers practical guidance for navigating marital

challenges.

2.6.2 Ongoing Marital Support and Counseling

Ongoing support and counseling for married couples are essential for sustaining healthy

marriages. Churches can offer resources such as marriage enrichment seminars, support

groups, and access to professional counselors. By fostering a culture of openness and

support, the church can help couples address issues early, preventing minor conflicts

from escalating into significant problems.

2.6.3 Addressing Marital Issues in Sermons and Teaching

Regularly addressing marital issues in sermons and teaching can reinforce the biblical

view of marriage and provide practical advice for couples. By discussing topics such as

love, respect, fidelity, and conflict resolution, church leaders can educate and inspire their

congregations to cultivate marriages that honor God and reflect His love.

CHAPTER THREE

RESEARCH METHODOLOGY

To actualize the primary objective of this essay, this chapter consists of the research

design, Population, Sample and Sampling technique, Research Instrument, Validity and

Reliability of the instrument, Administration of Instrument and Method of Data Analysis.

3.1 Research Design

The research design adopted for this study is descriptive survey method. According to

Ayandokun, survey method of research is one in which a group of people or items is

studied by collecting and analyzing data from only a few people or items considered to be
representative of the entire group.8 It therefore, involves direct contact with a population

or sample that has the characteristics, personality, qualities or attributes, which are

relevant to a specific investigation. In view of these assertions, the descriptive survey

approach is considered appropriate for this study since the researcher is interested in

collecting information from a representative sample of Ekpeye people in Ekpeye

Kingdom.

3.2. Study Population

The target population of this study consists of Christian families selected from five

Ekpeye villages in Ekpeye Kingdom.

A Brief History of Ekpeye Ethnic Nationality

The history of Ekpeye Ethnic nationality is traced to Benin. According to Ajugo, Akalaka

the founder of Ekpeye land, was a member of a royal family and also a brave soldier of

the Oba of Benin at about 1542 AD. This was during the reign of Oba Awuarre of Benin.

Due to the high handedness of the Oba, there was a plan to assassinate him. 9 The plot

was exposed to the Oba who instantly became hostile to the people. The hostility resulted

to a great exodus of people from the Benin Empire for fear of being killed. Among them

was Akalaka. Whose first son was called Ekpeye. This was because a plot to kill the Oba

was revealed and the Oba suspected that the assassination plan must have been
8

Esther O. Ayandokun, A Guide to Effective Study, Research and Documentation (Lagos: EASAM
SOLUTIONS, 2012), 95,
9

U.B Ajugo, The True History of Ekpeye Land (Ibadan: Institute of African Studies,University of Ibadan,
Nigeria.1971), 8.
masterminded by his nearest men among who was Akalaka. The accusation was revealed

to Akalaka’s sister. His sister revealed the secret plan of the Oba to her brother and in

order to escape the danger ahead, Akalaka fled to Agbo with his family. Having settled

there, he married a second wife who gave birth to Ogba. The first wife, (Ekepye’s

mother), gave birth to another son called Ihruoda (Ikwere).10

Akalaka later became very prosperous. His nature as a warrior nature could not be

hidden. According to Ekine, the Ekpeye lved in the land bounded by rivers Orashi in the

west and rivers of Sombreiro in the east, starting out at the northern end from about 3,000

BC. Archaeological discoveries revealed a steady and very consistent southward

movement mainly at the central geographically elevated area now called Akoh (Dry land)

and Egi. The rise and expansion of the Benin kingdom in the following centuries forced

the Igbo-speaking people in Benin to move down the River Niger.11

A minority of the Ekpeye who sided with the Benin cultured Igbo immigrants moved up

north and founded what is presently called Ogba land. Their language plainly bears the

imprint of the Ekpeye today, because both are the sons of one father born of different

mothers at about 1542 A.D. During the reign of Oba Awuarre of Benin, the Benin

kingdom was at its most glorious point. Therefore, its culture became most widespread

to Ogba, which majority of them were from Benin imbibed the culture, created the theory

that its progenitor was a prince of Benin. They gave his name as ‘Akalaka.’ This name

does not match any personality in the history of Benin. Some historians hold that this

man now acclaimed as the father of Ekpeye and Ogba left Benin kingdom due to the

10

Ibid.
11

Gift Ekine, A Concise History of Ekpeye land and People (Port Harcourt, Osal Digital Press, 2014) Page 4-
5.
infighting within the royal family. He had to flee with his family amidst rumors of his

inevitable demise for his disloyalty to the Oba. Consequently, they moved southwards

following the river Niger.12

Geographical Background

Ekpeye ethnic nationality is made up of Ahoada East and Ahoada West Local

Government Areas in Rivers State of Nigeria. It is currently made up of two ethnic

grougs, namely; Ahoada and Engenni. The Ekpeyeland lies in the centre of the old

Ahoada Division of Rivers State. It lies between the latitude 4.46’N and 5.15N and

longitude 6.26’E and 6.45’E.13 To the North it is bounded by Ogba Community, to the

East by Sombriero Rivers and by the Ikwerre’s who live across it.To the South by Abua

Clan and to the West by the Orashi and by the Delta-Cost speaking peoples who live

across. Ekpeye has an area of 566-623 square kilometers. 14 It lies between two rivers—

Orashi and Sombreiro. The Sombreiro is on the East Boundary and Orashi on the

Western side. Ozochi town lies on the western branch of the Orashi close to the Engenni

land.15 On the Engenni side there are cliffs and Ekpeye side is flooded out in the rainy

season. Akoh towns and villages are on the Sombreiro side namely; Ekpena, Odiaje,

Odiesama, Odiemudie, Upkelemini and Odieke-Akoh. The Pattern can also be traced in

Upata where towns like Ahoada, Ihuaba, Idoke, Ihuowo, Ihuama and Ogbele inhabit

other side and own farm lands.

12

Ibid.
13
Ekine, 4-5.
14
Ibid.
15

Ibid.
Climate: Ekpeye lies within two major climatic conditions, dry and rainy seasons.

The dry season begins from October through March while the Rainy Season falls within

march through September. The Orashi River overflows its bank and most parts of Ekpeye

are under water.16

Occupation: The main occupations of Ekpeye traditional society are farming, hunting

and fishing. They are predominately farmers engaged in the cultivation crops such as

cocoa and rubber. Palm produce form a major part of the earning. The youth engage in

tapping of rubber and cutting of palm produce. The main crops of the Ekpeye also

include cassava, yam, cocoyam, pineapple, plantain and banana in large quantities.

Besides farming those who live by the Rivers had fish ponds and keep their families from

the proceeds of fishing.17

Religious Life of the Ekpeye People

Before the advent of Christianity, the Ekpeye people believed in the existence of True

God. They had consent of the divine God who is the creator. They also personalized

names such as Chikpebieh (God decides), Chizhim (God is), Chimajikpo (God knows).

Hence the Ekpeye man praying in invocation declares “Chineke Mukpuo Olu le ele”

(God who created heaven and earth).18They believe in Spirits and divinities and they

worship either the good or bad spirits. They AGBALA Spirit is said to be the spirit of the

dead. Clark supports Ekiye’s opinion in the beliefs of the Ekpeye people in Ancestral

assistance in times of problem. They also believe in re-incarnation. They have sacred

16
Ibid.
17
Ekine, 5.

18
Ekiye, The History of Ekpeye Ethnic Nationality, 30-31.
days when sacrifices are offered to deities. All the traditional worship is done in the day

time. The ancestral worship includes both men and women.19

Christianity came to Ekpeye land around 1864 through some Kalabari palm oil traders

who settled in Ogbele. It was not until 1898, the first church (St. James Anglican church)

was established by a Navy captain whose name was Sawyer and the first resident pastor

was Rev. M.A. Kemma from Nembe.20

Socio-Cultural Life

The Ekpeye (Akpa O hia) are people of south-eastern Nigeria with distinct culture and

rulers of a former Benin kingdom. 21 They believe that: i) A woman is married into a

family and not to a man. ii) If she becomes a widow, she would either have to marry her

late husband’s immediate younger brother or forfeit much, if not all of her late husband’s

properties to his family.

Ekiye stated that in the traditional Ekpeye society, women were regarded as second —

class citizens. They only come out to serve food when needed. 22 Age-grades consist of

men who are organized according to ages; they exist all over Ekpeye land, festivals such

as Ogwu Ekpeye, an annual celebration, Ogwu Ede (Cocoyam Festival) Ogwu Ugbede

(Girls’ Festival) and many others are celebrated.23

3.3. Sample and Sampling Techniques

19
Ibid.
20
Nkasiobi Ekpelaeteozu Silas, A Comprehensive History of Ekpeye People (Omoku: Jef-Printing and
Publishing Co., 2011), 217-18.
21
Webmaster @ thetidenewsonline.com March 30, 2015
22
Ekiye, 28.
23

Ibid.
Since it is impracticable to collect data from the entire population, a sample will be

selected for the study using stratified random sampling method. The sample selection is

so since all the Ekpeyeans were not used rather five different Ekpeye villages were

chosen. The method of sampling selection is very essential to the whole research process.

This research utilized stratified random sampling. Ayandokun, defines random sampling

method as an unbiased process which a researcher uses to select a sample of a population

in a way that each element (member) of the population has an equally chance of being

selected.24 This research intends to use this method because the procedure will make the

findings of the study reflective of the entire population of Ekpeye people in Ekpeye

Kingdom.

3.4. Research Instrument

The research instrument that was adopted for this study was questionnaire.

Instrumentation is the process of selecting or developing measuring device and methods

appropriate to a given research problem. Section A contains the respondents’ personal

data such as name, gender, age, church, marital status, and office held. The

questionnaireis patterned after multiple choice questions on Strongly Agreed (SA),

Agreed (A) Strongly Disagreed (SD) and Disagreed (D) responses (restricted responses).

A total of one hundred (100) questionnaires was printed and distributed. The respondents

were expected to respond to all items appropriately.

3.5. Validity and Reliability of Instrument

A test is said to be valid if it measures what it purports to measure. According to

Enyubara, validity is how accurately the test results represent or predicts the particular

24
Ayandokun, 97.
characteristics intended.25 He further purports that “validity is to be the extent to which an

instruments measures what it is intended to measure.”26

Content validity was adopted; the content validity of the instrument (questionnaire) for

this study was determined by giving it to the researcher’s supervisor who went through

and made necessary modifications. The researcher therefore modified the instrument in

line with the corrections made. This confirmed that the instrument covered the intended

content and therefore valid for use.

Enyubara, described reliability as the consistency, accuracy, stability and trustworthiness

of a measuring instrument or scores obtained. The content of the instrument is indeed in

order and the anticipatory achievement of the researcher is well articulated therein. 27

Therefore, for this work to be useful for all time, its consistency was tested by pilot study

of ten (10) members within an interval of two weeks. The two sets of scores were

corrected using test- and- retest method. When correlated, the result was 0.77, thereby

showing that the instrument was reliable.

3.6. Administration of Instrument

The administration and collection of questionnaires was done on different days with the

help of research assistants. A total number of one hundred (100) questionnaires were

administered and returned is shown in the table below.

Table 1: Total number of questionnaires administered and returned

25

Kenneth O. Enyubara, Research Methodology and Reporting (Port Harcourt: HOI Publishing Company,
2009), 29.
26
Ibid.

27
Ibid.
 Total Total Total Percentage Percentage

questionnaires questionnaires questionnaires unreturned returned

to respondents returned unreturned

100 95 5 5% 95%

3.7. Method of Data Analysis

For the data to be effectively analysed the Chi-square statistical analysis is applied and

then converted into simple percentage.

 CHAPTER FOUR

PRESENTATION OF DATA ANALYSIS AND DISCUSSION

OF FINDINGS

Chapter four presents the result under investigations and interpretation of result based on

the research questions raised in chapter one. Since investigation was based on the facts

and figures about Christian response to the concept of marriage amongst the Ekpeye

Ethnic nationality, the researcher considered it reasonable to use a tabular format.

4.1 Presentation of Data Analysis

TABLE 2: Showing Responses on Divorce and Re-marriage among the People of

Ekpeye

RESPONSES

AGREE DISAGREE TOTAL

S/N SA A % SD D %

1 67 11 82.09 10 7 17.88 95

2 71 19 98.94 0 5 5.26 95

3 52 25 81.04 8 10 18.94 95

4 48 10 63.52 18 16 35.78 95

5 79 10 93.67 0 6 6.31 95

6 72 11 87.35 7 5 12.65 95

Total 389 86 84.4 46 49 16.14% 570

From the above table, all the respondents strongly agreed that divorce and remarriage has

significant effect on the attitude and character of people of Ekpeye living in it towards

there Christian commitment a mean percent of approximately 84.4%, where as those who

disagreed has a mean percentage of 16.14%. Hence, the result above revealed that people

of Ekpeye who either divorced or are remarried as a result of divorce are regretting their

decisions on divorce or remarriage.

Table 3:Showing the Gap of Commitment of Ekpeye People and their Attitude toward

Divorce and Remarriage.

RESPONSES

AGREE DISAGREE TOTAL

S/N SA A % SD D %

1 78 12 94.16 0 5 5.3 95

2 49 9 60.53 21 16 38.95 95

3 39 31 73.68 21 4 26.32 95

4 70 20 74.73 5 0 5.3 95

5 81 9 94.73 0 5 5.3 95

Total 317 81 79.6% 47 30 16.2% 475

From the above table the respondents are in strong agreement that there is a great gap of

Christian commitment between Baptist members who are polygamists and monogamists

in Ekpeye Kingdom. Putting those frequencies together an average of 79.6% was

realized, leaving those who think otherwise with the mean percentage of 16.2%. This
viewed that more than sixty- six per cent of the people in Ekpeye Kingdom strongly

agree that there is a great lacuna between Christian commitment of polygamists and/or

divorcees and monogamists. From this table therefore, it is very clear that polygamy

brings about lack of commitment in the Christian life of Ekpeye people living in divorce

and remarriage.

Table 4: Shows the Gap between between those living either in divorce or remarriage and

their commitment to church activity in Ekpeye Kingdom.

RESPONSES

AGREE DISAGREE TOTAL

S/N SA A % SD D %

1 10 9 19.99 86 8 78.99 95

2 4 11 15.78 71 9 84.10 95

3 6 9 15.78 69 11 74.20 95

4 15 2 17.89 70 8 72.20 95

5 12 10 22.58 72 11 76.83 95

6 18 12 31 65 10 78.94 95

7. 9 10 19.99 76 10 90.52 95

Total 74 63 20.43% 509 6.7 79.4% 665

From the above table, respondents were in strong disagreement that divorce is not playing

a setback in their lives and this came out with a mean percentage of approximately

79.4%. This leaves those who agreed that divorce has no negative effect in their Christian

lives with a mean percentage of 20.43%. The result above shows a wide range of
disagreement clearly indicating that majority of people in Ekpeye Kingdom who are

divorce or remarriage are really affected negatively by their decision.

Table 5: Shows the Extent of effect of divorce and remarriage among the people of

Ekpeye kingdom

RESPONSES

HIGH LOW TOTAL

S/N VH H % L VL %

1 4 21 26.31 27 43 73.68 95

2 5 12 17.81 24 54 82.10 95

3 2 18 21.05 10 65 78.94 95

4 5 15 21.05 11 64 78.94 95

5 8 17 27.36 22 48 73.68 95

6 5 18 24.21 16 56 75.78 95

7 4 11 15.78 26 44 73.68 95

Total 33 112 21.9% 136 374 76.7% 665

From the above table, respondents were in great affirmation that people in Ekpeye

Kingdom who are divorced or remarried are facing a great setback in their spiritual life

and the areas of Christian home and family life have a mean percentage of 76.7%.
Whereas, those who think that divorce does not in any way affect them have a mean

percentage of 21.9%. The result above shows that people in Ekpeye Kingdom who are

divorced are seriously affected and regretting.

4.2 Discussion of Findings

This section discusses the findings. The concept of Christian marriage is deeply rooted in

biblical teachings and has been the subject of extensive theological, sociological, and

cultural studies. This research examines the challenges faced by Christian marriages in

contemporary society and the role of the church in supporting and promoting these

values.

From the findings, it is clear that the state of a home affects life directly. Though some so

called Christian for one reason or the other get involved into divorce and remarriage

giving reasons such as to “ensure the bearing of many children so that the status and

property of the man may be passed on and the family become extended in space and time,

and a solution to a wife’s infertility”, 28 therefore it is not without regrets. This is reflected
28
Stanley Ellison, Divorce and Remarriage in the Church (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1977), 45.
in the eighty four (84) mean per cent expressions of regrets over twenty six per cent non-

regrets expression.

Most of these people who got involved in divorce and remarriage for reasons of wealth,

inheritance, and children and so on, forgets the spiritual aspect of their lives. But the data

analysis of this work proves that due to its disadvantages, most of the divorcees are

seriously regretting their decision of taking another wife. The result of divorcing and

marrying another wife has resulted to rivalry, home division, nagging, some even to the

point of death.

Therefore, the act of divorce and remarriage has affected socio-economic, moral,

physical, religious and spiritual life of the divorcees. One of their reasons of divorce and

remarriage, as mentioned earlier, is children. But the issue of divorce and remarriage does

not affect their life only; it also affects behaviour and thinking, feelings and actions and

also result in lack of good parental modelling. Divorce and remarriage have helped to

produce wayward children, criminals, robbers and even illiterates. 29 In a nutshell divorce

and remarriage has helped in producing children who are without moral or spiritual

character making their parent to regretting their decisions of having another wife as result

of divorce and remarriage, just to have children.

The issue of divorce and remarriage has not only affected the people morally, it has

affected the people economically. It has affected their productive force and their use of

resources and thus it affects especially the children of the families. The negative

economic effect of the general well-being of the people has been observed; for example,

29
Frank S. Pittman, Turning Points: Treating Families in Transition and Crisis: (New York: Norton, 1987),
89.
there are observed neglect. Neglect is as a result of one not meeting or taking care of

his/her responsibilities, as one should.

Another reason why they are regretting is because of too much quarrels between either

the new wife or her children and the children of the former wife. In a divorced and

remarried family, quarrels are very common. Sometimes it occurs due to favouritism. The

children that are favoured or who feel that their needs or their welfare are not taken care

of, will confront their father. The children will sometimes stand boldly to challenge and

quarrel with their fathers because their needs are not attended to. Many families

experience quarrels when the man brings in a second wife into the home. The worst is

when the second wife starts having children and if it happens that the man is the type that

is anxious of having male child and the first wife did not have male children or male

child, it causes quarrel in the home; 30 It also brings about jealousy and envy which are

dangerous signs for a family.

Therefore, these make some divorcees sorry for their wrong decision to take to another

wife. They show signs of regret for their divorce and remarriage living, made open

confessions of regrets of divorced and remarried life; they try to avoid group fellowship

that remind them of these problems, withdrawn from their church assignments and they

are usually no longer comfortable with their acts.

It was discovered that those who are not divorced are found to be more committed and

responsible in most things.31 Most of them are usually found to be fully participating in

church activities such as Bible study, witnessing, prayers, stewardship, worship etc. 32

30
(en.wikpedia.org/wiki/child. neglect)

31
David Thompson, Counselling and Divorce (Waco, Tex.: Word, Forthcoming, 1997), 324.

32
bid.
Also in their manner of relating with others they are found to be polite in approach,

happier in their homes and even in their places of work. 33 This assertion was found to be

true for most churches studied in this work. Most of the members of missionary

organizations who were said to be very committed in propagating the kingdom of God

through the churches where they belong were found to be either not divorce or singles. Of

course the mean percentage of sixty four (64%) positive affirmation on divorcees’

attitude on this question says it all.

Christians as followers of Jesus Christ were first called “Christians” in Antioch (Acts

11:26) because they believed in Christ and followed his example. The word was initially

used by their detractors in a derogatory sense. Christians are to be like a light set on the

hill which cannot hide from the eyes of men; hence Christians are like a glass house,

every one aside and within can see and read to make criticisms. This should make the

Christians maintain standards of moral integrity.

Divorce and remarriage bring division or separation among Christians or the church. This

happens in a church when a divorcee and his new wife are worshipping in the same

church. For instance, if a divorcee and his family happen to worship in a particular

church and his new wife is occupying different positions in the church, most people will

never agree on any matter or issues easily. They will never want to be sharing any idea

even if that idea will favour the church. And when such happens, it hinders the growth of

the church.34

33

Ibid.
34

John R.W. Scott, Divorce (Downers Grove: InterVarsity, 1987), 345.

Divorce and remarriage bring enmity among Christians: for instance, when a divorcee is

deprived of his/her position/office in the church, he/she will never be happy with the

persons but find a way to frustrate the work by withdrawal of himself and his financial

support.35

Divorce and remarriage bring conflicts among the Christians: conflict as a result of

divorce is problematic and there is a stigma attached to it, especially among the

Christians who know that divorce is a sin, an act condemned by God. So it becomes a

problem among the Christians especially when the divorcee is occupying a position in the

church and is removed. Such affects divorcees and make them not to participate in

missionary activities of the church, makes them to be aggressive and hostile to people,

defensive in their attitude with regards to their responsibilities to the church, refuse to

join the church in witnessing and makes them to be mute in church business meeting. The

sixty four mean percentage (64%) of agreement is a confirmation of these.

Many people read about divorce and remarriage in the Bible but have a gut feeling that is

wrong. They often think that it must be banned in somewhere in the bible and perhaps

recall sermons when Christian leaders either directly condemned it or hinted that it was

sinful. But they also know that they cannot rely on other people to do their Christianity

for them and so they cannot simply take someone else’s word about what the bible say-as

that means trusting fallible man, rather than in infallible God.

From the table above, both Christian Leaders and the led in Ekpeye Kingdom have an

objection about divorce and remarriage. Some hold to the Adam and Eve Defense: Adam

was given Eve as his wife. He was given one wife not two, three or four. One wife was

enough for Adam. One wife was what God intended. Marriage today should be “as it was
35
Ibid, 346.
in the beginning”. If God had wanted Adam to be a polygamist he would have given him

more wives.

Secondly, the Bad Effect Fallacy:36 divorce and remarriage in the Bible associated with

bad things happenings like jealousy, murder and immorality whilst it was not condemned

out right, they can tell it is bad because of the things associated with it and the bad

consequences it has; because it creates an environment for jealousy in which sin can

occur, it is too bad.

Thirdly, the “Not the Ideal” Diversion: 37 divorce and remarriage may not be outlawed by

God but he does show it is not the ideal by limiting it in the Old Testament and by

stopping divorcee from having positions of responsibility in the church. He does not

really like it even if he did not say so and they should not do it because they should be

trying to praise him.

Fourthly, the “Against the law”:38 misunderstanding divorce and remarriage might be

lawful as far as State (government) is concerned but it is illegal as far as God is

concerned, and as Christians they have to respect God. As we have to obey God’s law

against divorce and remarriage it would be sinful to be a divorcee, and it is pointless to

discuss something it would be illegal for us to do.

The spiritual growth of people is very vital because nobody excels without being

spiritually equipped. In this context spiritual means a deep commitment on Christian

tasks. If there is time, it then means that any person that is living in divorce and

remarriage is seen as not being committed to God and that person is spiritually blind. 39
36
Hastings, Christian Marriage in Africa, 56.
37

Hastings, 56.

38
Ellison, Divorce and Remarriage in the Church, 67.
39
Ibid., 69.
The affirmation result of seventy-seen (77) mean percentage shows the serious effects of

divorce on the spiritual lives of the people under research. It is clearly not exaggeration to

say that if the people are who the image of God and the Christians mean “the followers of

Christ” or “little Christ” there should be spiritual sanity among the Christians and the

people who called themselves children of God. Any Christian that practices or involves in

divorce and remarriage is spiritually empty. This is to say, he/she cannot worship or serve

God in truth, if he/she is still in the act of divorce. The church cannot experience soul

enriching and spiritual worship if the Christians indulge themselves in the act of

polygamy or divorce and remarriage. There are areas to be considered that affects the life

of divorcees.

First, areas of witnessing: witnessing or evangelism is the heart beat of God. Christian

witnessing is one of the most important reasons of the existence of church as recorded in

Matthew 28:19-20. When the Christians are into divorce, they cannot evangelize to

people, knowing fully well that already they are guilty of the act of either polygamy

or/and divorce which is a sin before God. The purpose of evangelism is for the salvation

of the lost souls. The first aim of evangelism is to confront the sinful world with the

gospel of Christ into repentance.40

Christ commissioned Christians for the continuation of his redemption work. In the night

of his ascension, the Lord with his disciples and commission them to go into the world

and preach the gospel to every person. It is the task or duty of the redeemed people to

continue the task of sharing that message. But the bitter truth is that a good number of

Christians have overlooked this command because of one sin or the other. It becomes

40
Charlie Shedd, Praying Together: Making Marriage Last (Grand Rapids: Pyranee Books, 1987), 234.
hard for a divorcee to do evangelism because of the guilty of the act of divorce and

remarriage. How can one preach against or condemn the act, if you are guilt of the same?

Another area again is prayer: prayer in itself is the fastest vehicle that can take a person to

his long expected destination. Prayer is the greatest privilege God has given to Christians.

From the study, it is obvious that those who are in the act of divorce sometimes may not

pray effectively as a result of guilt in their hearts. As the guilty feeling continues to exist

in their hearts, their prayer life may become something else. 41 This renders their

ineffectiveness, a dangerous sign against spiritual progress.

The attitude of a divorcee toward his/her Christian life is nothing good to describe

with. Their attitude to prayer life is very low; their attitude toward bible study is not

encouraging. The importance of the word of God in Christians’ lives is inevitable. The

bible describes in clear and unmistakable language what Christian should do with the

word of God in all its different forms. Christians must read God’s word (the Bible) daily

and meditate upon it day and night (Joshua 1:8). They must eagerly listen to God’s word

and seek to understand it (Matt. 13:23). They must accept what the word of God says;

hide it deep within their hearts, trust in it and then hope in its promises (psalm 130:5).

Above all, they must obey what it commands and live according to it (psalm19:9).

Because of this plain truth, it is bad to find that one is not in the bible study. This most

likely, contributes to their lack of commitment toward Christian task.

Another area that divorcees are not doing well in the Christian life is in the area of

stewardship. The scripture makes it clear that everything on this earth belongs to God,

including human beings who occupy the earth (psalm 24), this understanding makes it

clear that whatever a Christian possesses comes from God. Whether riches or honour,
41
(www.paulawhite.org/effective-prayer).
power or might or other possessions that make them feel great (1chron.29:12-15). 42 But

this understanding is lacking among some divorcees. In fact, it was reported that most of

them are not faithful in their tithing and offerings “the stewardship of possessions has to

do with using all that God has gifted and blessed one with for the good of man, the

society and to the Glory of God”. Therefore it is a sign of any Christian, divorcee or

polygamist and non-polygamist is found wanting in this area. The lesson on the parable

of the rich fool in the Luke 12:13-21, and Paul words in 1Cor. 4:2 should be learnt and

taken seriously when it comes to stewardship lifestyle.

42
(www.paulawhite.org/effective-prayer,
 CHAPTER FIVE

SUMMARY, CONCLUSION AND RECOMMENDATIONS

5.1. Summary

The primary aim of this research is to elucidate the Christian concept of marriage based

on biblical teachings. This researcher investigated the Christian response to divorce and

remarriage amongst the people of Ekpeye Kingdom and how it has affected their

Christian life. The purpose of conducting this research was to identify and assess some of

the life challenges and feelings of people of Ekpeye Kingdom, who because of one

reason or the other decided to involve themselves into divorce and remarriage.

As discovered from the study, some of them got involved with “tangible reasons”. Some

of the reasons include looking for male child, wealth, sexual satisfaction, good luck,

continuity of the family name and self-defence among others. But it is obvious that

most of these divorcees who claimed to profess Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour

have denied the responsibility attached to their faith which has been addressed in this

work. From the five churches surveyed, the responses regarding the commitment of

divorcees were the same. It was also discovered that most of these divorcees are

regretting in their decision of taking another wife or marrying another husband.

Therefore, divorce and remarriage life lured them into a negative attitude towards their

Faith. Most of them are nowhere to be found in missionary organizations of the church,

Christian witnessing, Bible study above all they are not faithful in their situation.

5.2. Conclusion
It is true that the culture of most of the ancient world permitted a man to divorce and

remarry. This culture was not the culture of God, “it was not so from the beginning” but

was the human culture of its time, sometimes reinforced by the civil laws of man which

were not laws or customs of God. As clearly shown by Biblical examples, divorce and

remarriage often encourages rivalry, quarrelling and emotional misery. It is not condoned

by God and He never originally intended for marriage to permit multiple partners.

Originally God intended the best, happiest, most loving marriage to be between a man

and a woman for their natural life time, until death do them part.

Divorce and remarriage is sin. While divorce and remarriage was practiced by some of

the Patriarchs and was permitted by the oriental cultures and civil laws of their times, it

clearly was not the ideal marital relationship blessed and approved by God. Today even

among most modern cultures that permit cohabitation and easy-to-obtain living, divorce

and remarriage are looked at with a frown.

God’s Word vehemently speaks against fornication and adultery as found in the 7th

Commandment. Jesus, responding to questions about divorce (another practice tolerated

because of the hardness of human hearts), cited the original marriage to reveal God's will.

This is depicted in the fact that God made one wife for Adam, and God told Adam that a

man should leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife (not many wives), and the

two of them should become one flesh (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5-6).

The New Testament makes it clearer that each husband should have his own wife and

each wife her own husband (not multiple partners – 1 Corinthians 7:2). Paul, mindful of

God's instruction, captured it all when he stressed that the high priest could only have one
wife. Paul again commanded that a man ordained to the ministry must not have more

than one wife (1 Timothy 3:2).

From every indication, monogamy, not polygamy or divorce and remarriage, is the given

honourable status as commanded by the Bible. Today, in some nations of the world,

divorce and remarriage are pronounced illegal by civil law. In such nations, law-abiding

Christians are commanded to live in subjection to the laws of the land (Romans 13:1-7).

In cultures where divorce and remarriage are made legal and accepted, persons who are

being baptized into the Body of Christ (the Church), and who are already legally bound to

two or more wives are advised to continue to honour their civil law commitments. A

divorcee should not be contracted once a person is a member of the Church and has

committed himself to seeking and living fully by the will of God.

5.3. Recommendations

Based on the findings, the following recommendations are made:

First, monogamy should be encouraged: It is not out of place to say that God instituted

marriage right from the unset with the intension of monogamy. Genesis 2:18-25, stated

clearly that one man one wife. It was deliberate in the sight of God. God has foreseen the

problem of divorce, no wonder the Bible says “…a man leaves his father and mother and

is united with his wife and they become one” (Gen. 2:24 GNT). Therefore, one man one

wife was deliberate in the sight of God. If God had wanted to give more than one wife to
Adam, he would have done so but because of unnecessary excuses many so called

Christians get involved into Polygamy which they are regretting.

Second, young Christians should be exposed to the reason of marriage. Unnecessary

excuses that are making some so called Christians to get involved in divorce can be

avoided if proper teaching and orientation is given at the initial stage. Therefore,

seminars on marriage can be conducted by professionals especially Christian marriage

counsellors and also by prayers in the churches. This will help to avoid it continued

occurrences.

Third, churches should embark on prayers and visitation to divorced families. From the

research there are indications that many divorced families are being abandoned in the

name of “discipline” that may have contributed to their lack of commitment to church

task and responsibilities. If visitation and prayer can be embarked upon, it will go a long

way in retrieving them back to their normal life. But many of them felt abandoned by

their church, they either stop coming to church, or not punctual to Bible study, Mission

work, prayer Meeting and Bible study. Therefore, discipline should be redefined in

Church setting so as not to lose these people rather discipline should include total

expression of love, care and concern for every member. Who knows whether they will be

better tomorrow?

Fourth, encouragement should be prioritized, the committed members of the various

churches should be involved in person to person witnessing to encourage the backsliding

ones. The reason is that it was also noted that, many of these members are waiting only

on what church pastor would say about divorced and remarried members. They do not
care whether they are coming to church or weekly activities, which contributed a lot to

their lack of commitment to church activities.

Fifth, Churches and pastors should not give room to bad cultures that negates Christianity

and its teaching. Though divorce and remarriage or polygamy are sometimes attributed to

African culture, it is not really true. Most of the African cultures regard the first wife. In

some cultures the second wives are not regarded as to the first; they are in sometimes

given a portion of land in terms of communal farming. Some are not regarded in

community meetings and to every other legal tender pertaining to marriage. Polygamy

also has no regard constitutionally. It was just a strange culture that has influenced in the

life of the African man and because of that discomfort, rivalry, aggressiveness; quarrels

enveloped the lives of divorcees. Pastors need to stand and preach/teach the undiluted

word of God so as to discourage the practice of divorce. Many churches have been

observed, indirectly they allowed divorce and remarriage, it has been discovered that

there are some churches who does not frown at divorces. They defined Polygamy as

having two or more wives the same time without cautioning someone who divorces his

first wife and marry another such should be condemned.

 BIBLIOGRAPHY

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Research Questionnaire Instrument

Title: Understanding the Christian Concept of Marriage

Part 1: Demographic Information

1. Gender:

o Male

o Female

2. Age:

o 18-25

o 26-35

o 36-45

o 46-55

o 56 and above

3. Marital Status:

o Single
 o Married

o Divorced

o Remarried

4. Religious Affiliation:

o Christian

5. Denomination (if applicable):

o Baptist

o Other (please specify): ____________

Part 2: Understanding of Christian Marriage

Please indicate your level of agreement with the following statements:

1. Christian teachings on marriage significantly influence marital attitudes and

behaviors.

o Strongly Agree

o Agree

o Neutral

o Disagree

o Strongly Disagree

2. The Christian concept of marriage emphasizes commitment and mutual

respect between spouses.

 o Strongly Agree

o Agree

o Neutral

o Disagree

o Strongly Disagree

3. Divorce and remarriage have noticeable effects on individuals' Christian

commitment and involvement in church activities.

o Strongly Agree

o Agree

o Neutral

o Disagree

o Strongly Disagree

4. Christian teachings discourage divorce and emphasize reconciliation and

forgiveness within marriages.

o Strongly Agree

o Agree

o Neutral

o Disagree

o Strongly Disagree

Part 3: Personal Views and Experiences

 1. In your opinion, what role does Christian faith play in shaping marital

relationships among the people of Ekpeye?

2. Have you personally observed any differences in the marital behaviors of

individuals who adhere to Christian teachings compared to those who do

not?

3. How do you think divorce and remarriage affect the Christian commitment

and involvement in church activities among the people of Ekpeye?

Part 4: Additional Comments

Please use this space to provide any additional comments, experiences, or observations

you have regarding the Christian concept of marriage among the people of Ekpeye

Thank you for participating in this research study.