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GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 1

Mourning In Isolation: An Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis on the Grieving

Experiences of Bereaved Filipinos During the COVID-19 Pandemic

John Kenneth Q. Padel, Ira Joie M. De Jesus, John Louiz N. Martin,

Alyssandra Joyce S. Cosme, and Matthew A. Pitogo

College of Social and Behavioral Sciences, Bataan Peninsula State University

Author Note

We have no conflict of interest to disclosed. This research is funded by the Department of

Science and Technology – Science Education Institute (DOST-SEI). The researchers thank Ms.

Shekinah Reyes, Ms. Ma. Fatima Bacala, and Dr. Rachel Reyes-Laureano for their comments,

suggestions, and never-ending patience during the entire research process.

Correspondence concerning this article should be addressed to John Kenneth Q. Padel,

Purok II, Doña, Orani, Bataan 2112, Philippines. Email: [email protected]


GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 2

Abstract

The COVID-19 pandemic affected how bereaved people mourn and grieve during these

challenging times. We are obliged to maintain our physical distances from the people we love,

even after their death. While many studies have addressed this pandemic-related grieving process

in the Western culture, there has yet no culture-specific research addressing this “novel” grieving

process in the Philippines. To know how Filipinos are grieving and coping with the death of their

loved ones during the pandemic, this study replicated the work of Schienfeld et al., (2021) to

know whether their results are similar in the Philippine context. This study employed an

interpretative phenomenological analysis, and the tool used was a set of self-made interview

questions validated by four experts. Ten bereaved individuals participated in the interview

process with an average bereavement period of 9 months. The data analysis revealed that there

are affective, behavioral, and cognitive components happening within the bereaved individual

during their bereavement period. Also, the participants experienced either family estrangement or

stronger family ties after the death of a loved one. The analysis also revealed that bereaved

people used many coping mechanisms and received different forms of social support from their

social environment. In conclusion, there are psychological and sociological facets involved in the

experiences of bereaved individuals during this pandemic. These components are interrelated

dimensions; each element intensifies and aggravates one another. A multidimensional view of

their situations is crucial for us to fully understand and comprehend the entirety and very nature

of their experiences.

Keywords: grieving, bereavement, COVID-19 pandemic, coping mechanism,

interpretative phenomenological analysis


GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 3

Mourning In Isolation: An Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis on the Grieving

Experiences of Bereaved Filipinos During the Covid-19 Pandemic

In November 2019, the first case of COVID-19 infection was recorded in Wuhan, China,

and by January 2020, it spread rapidly around the world and was eventually considered a global

pandemic (Roberts et al., 2021). According to World Health Organization (WHO), as of June 07,

2022, there were 532 million people infected by SARS-CoV-2, and unfortunately, 6.3 million of

these people died due to the virus (WHO COVID-19 Dashboard, 2022). Considering the massive

number of COVID-19-related deaths, at least five million families have also grieved and are still

grieving up to this date. Furthermore, the pandemic changed many things, including people’s

behavior, routines, lifestyle, and even altered their grieving process (Kgatle & Segalo, 2021).

Thus, researchers sought to explore the grieving experiences of people under the health protocols

imposed to mitigate the consequences of SARS-CoV-2, and they found out that the lack of

traditional burial rituals “exacerbated the feelings of grief” and “impacted the coping

capabilities” of the bereaved individuals (Scheinfeld et al., 2021, p. 18).

For many people, coping during this time of uncertainty is challenging, as we are obliged

to maintain our physical distance from the people we love. The majority of the population is

confined in their homes to mitigate the rapid spread of the virus, and as a result, their access to

social and communal support systems became limited (Breen, 2020). These could be more

challenging if someone they loved or close to them died during this socially isolating global

pandemic. Although grief is a normal process, it sometimes becomes prolonged or complicated,

requiring intervention (Mason et al., 2020). With the restrictions to protect society from the

devastating virus, mental health professionals cannot deliver their programs and interventions to

address these concerns from the general population (Morris et al., 2020). As a result, the families
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 4

of the deceased became more susceptible to developing further mental health problems (e.g.,

prolonged grief disorder and persistent grief disorder; Eisma et al., 2020; Djelantik et al., 2020).

Since psychological and psychiatric interventions were often neglected and underestimated in

previous pandemics and epidemics (Tucci et al., 2017; Morens & Fauci, 2013), the number of

people whose mental health is affected is larger than those affected by the infections (Reardon,

2015). The pandemic's mental health implications also tend to last longer than the

pandemic/epidemic itself (Shigemura et al., 2020; Reardon, 2015). Undoubtedly, grieving

because of an unexpected loss of a loved one has added to one of the mental illnesses that

emerge during a pandemic (Joaquim et al., 2021).

In its second year now, the COVID-19 pandemic has caused an insurmountable impact

on all aspects of our lives. As of late January 2022, the Department of Health of the Philippines

recorded 53,000+ Filipinos who died from the SARS-CoV-2 (DOH COVID-19 Tracker, 2022).

To mitigate the increasing number of COVID-19 cases, the DOH released a memorandum that

indicates the standard guidelines in handling the remains of COVID-19 related deaths, including

the immediate cremation of the dead body 12 hours after passing. This order applies to all

confirmed and suspected cases and those with pending test results (DOH, 2020). This standard

health protocol considerably changed traditional burial practices across cultures, affecting their

mourning and grieving processes (Yap et al., 2021). As a spiritual country where burial

ceremonies are embedded in our culture, many Filipinos are deprived of this significant personal

meaning-making event after the death of their loved one, as the family is unable to bid their last

farewell to the dying person (Sarmiento, 2020). These changes in our norms affected the typical

grieving process of the bereaved and gave birth to novel ways of catharsis and coping

mechanisms (Corpuz, 2021). Undeniably, loss of hope and motivation, seeing the future vaguely,
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 5

and toughness to continue one’s life are some of the challenges that grieving during a pandemic

imposes (Aaslund, 2021).

Furthermore, recent publications suggest that grieving during a socially isolating global

pandemic is different from what people are used to due to the absence of final moments with the

deceased loved ones (e.g., funeral ceremonies) (Scheinfeld et al., 2021). Therefore, families of

the deceased may experience a complicated grief process (Corpuz, 2021), and it can affect

everyone regardless of their age group (Kumar, 2021). Even though social support systems can

mitigate its adverse effect (Boulware & Bui, 2016; Mayland et al., 2020), their capabilities to

prevent further mental health problems are limited due to the current restriction on holding

funeral/burial rites (Burrell & Selman, 2020). In fact, many considered these ceremonies as

significant personal meaning-making events (Sarmiento, 2020). As a result, the victims’ families

are more susceptible to developing mental health problems or experiencing more long-term

effects of the death of a loved one (Eisma et al., 2020; Djelantik et al., 2020).

While many studies have addressed this pandemic-related grieving process in the

Western culture (Scheinfeld et al., 2021; Gesi et al., 2020; Wallace et al., 2020), there has yet no

culture-specific research addressing this “novel” grieving process in the Philippine context

(Magintao et al., 2021; Rungduin, 2020), where burial ceremonies are part of people’s lives, and

social /communal support is collectively shared. Furthermore, there is no available research that

explored how people are forced to adapt to the sudden or unexpected loss of a loved one caused

by the current pandemic (Scheinfeld et al., 2021; Corpuz, 2021).

Therefore, the purpose of this study is to understand and illuminate the grieving

experiences of bereaved Filipinos during the COVID-19 pandemic by localizing and

contextualizing the findings of Scheinfeld et al. (2021) through partial replication. Also, it aims
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 6

to understand how Filipinos adapt to losing a loved one during the pandemic. Specifically, it

seeks to answer: (1) how are Filipinos grieving the death of loved ones under the restrictions of

the COVID-19 pandemic? and; (2) how are Filipinos coping with losing a loved one during the

COVID-19 pandemic?

Related Theories

The relevant theories presented in this section are the most related to the research

problem. However, these theories will not be the basis for data interpretation, as interpretative

phenomenological analysis (IPA) does not use pre-existing ideas and beliefs to understand a

phenomenon. Nevertheless, through the bottom-up process, this study’s results may be helpful

for a deeper understanding of these theories by providing detailed accounts of individuals who

experienced the actual phenomenon.

Four-Components Model of the Grieving Process

The four-component model was developed by George Bonanno (Bonanno & Kaltman,

1999) to understand the individual differences in their grieving process. The four primary

components are: (1) the context in which the loss occurs (e.g., was it expected or sudden, timely

or untimely?), (2) the subjective meaning associated with the loss (e.g., was the bereaved person

resentful that he or she had to care for the loved one prior to the death), (3) representation of the

lost relationship over time (e.g., does the bereaved person maintained a continuing relationship

with the deceased?), and (4) coping and emotion-regulation processes that can alleviate or

exacerbate the stress of loss (Boerner, 2015). According to Bonanno (2001, as cited in Boerner,

2015), if negative grief-related emotions are minimized and positive grief-related emotions are

enhanced, recovery and healing are most likely to happen.


GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 7

Dual-Process Model (DPM) of Coping with Bereavement

The DPM was first developed by Stroebe and Schut (1999, 2010), who noted that

bereaved individuals alternate between two different kinds of coping. First is loss-oriented

coping, where the person tries to solve problems directly associated with the loss (e.g., dealing

with intrusive thoughts). The second kind of coping is restoration-oriented coping, where people

adapt to the challenges imposed by the life circumstances caused by the loss (e.g., doing new

things or learning new hobbies). Stroebe and Schut emphasize that the oscillation between the

two is vital for adaptive coping (Boerner, 2015).

Related Literature and Studies

Since the fast spread of the SARS-CoV-2 is causing the unfortunate increase in the

COVID-19 death toll and the severity of mortality rate, many families are forced to deal with the

“complicated grief” process (Corpuz, 2021). Families of the victims experienced this

complicated grief process because they were obliged to follow the hospital and morgue’s

protocols, and they were also prohibited from holding traditional mourning rituals and funeral

rights (Corpuz, 2021). The grieving process is less complicated when the bereaved person

accepts the reality, and funeral rites make the loss absolute and final. It also allows family

members to share their sentiments with their relatives (Santos et al., 2021). It was recently found

that emotional shock and fear of the future are the most common psychological crises that

bereaved families endure when a family member dies because of COVID-19 (Mohammadi et al.,

2021). Also, the psychological impact of the pandemic, such as higher levels of stress, anxiety,

and depression, are considerably associated with a pro-longed homestay, strictly imposed

quarantine, and concerns for other relatives (Tee et al., 2020). A recent case study also pointed

out that COVID-19 related deaths, lockdown policies, and socio-economic stressors may
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 8

increase the risk for complicated grief because these factors intensify the grief experience

(Santos et al., 2021). These give the impression that contact and connection with the dying

person before they pass away play a significant factor in the process of grief and bereavement of

a person (Yap et al., 2021).

Likewise, grief is a layer of emotional and biopsychosocial reactions to bereavement

(Boerner et al., 2015), and it affects various age groups during this global health crisis (Kumar,

2021). For example, children are observed to engage in a “long period of normal behavior and

play” during the grieving process, and the COVID-19 restrictions limit these “self-regulatory

strategies” (Santos et al., 2021, p. 2). Enforced isolations also make children and adolescents

experience high rates of depression and, most probably, high rates of anxiety (Loades et al.,

2020). Meanwhile, adolescents who experience bereavement may be at high risk of developing

complicated grief, as their grieving process interacts with “increased risk-taking, identity-

formation, and limited capacity for emotional regulation” (Weinstock et al., 2021, p. 1). Studies

also show that bereaved adolescents are affected the most by the sudden loss they experience,

affecting their development to adulthood (Andreissen et al., 2017).

Additionally, it was also determined that the effects of COVID-19 on daily life and

delayed academic activities are directly correlated with anxiety symptoms among college

students (Cao et al., 2020). Furthermore, in adults, the recent loss of immediate relatives, trauma

from the loss, and close/conflicting relationship with the dead family, along with their recent

bereavement due to COVID-19, may impose severe mental health problems (Tang et al., 2021).

Meanwhile, in older adults and the elderly, Ishikawa (2020) noted that they are “already in the

grieving process because of loss of autonomy and independence, social connectedness, financial

security, and access to necessities and support” (p. S85).


GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 9

Nevertheless, social support can mitigate the adverse effects of stressful life events, and

bereaved people with more social support have fewer depressive symptoms (Boulware & Bui,

2016; Mayland et al., 2020). A mixed-method review postulated that physical comfort (e.g.,

hugging, having a conversation, touching) is vital throughout the grieving period (Burrell &

Selman, 2020). Furthermore, bereaved families with social support and opportunities for

cognitive and emotional acceptance of death had a better quality of life six months following the

loss (Wallace et al., 2020). Unfortunately, it is not currently possible because bereaved families

are subjected to restrictions on funeral practices, such as immediate cremation, limitations on

social gatherings, and interaction with other people during the ceremonies (Burrell & Selman,

2020). Thus, death during a pandemic limits the bereaved people from physically accessing their

supporters (Breen, 2020). Considering that face-to-face interviews do not seem possible, mental

health professionals who support bereaved families could help by encouraging grieving

individuals to share their psychological suffering through social communication platforms

(Morris et al., 2020).

Recent evidence shows that people who experience bereavement are also more likely to

develop mental health problems (Stroebe et al., 2017). Due to the pandemic, researchers are

concerned that multiple losses (e.g., loss of safety, financial security, autonomy, or

physical/social connection) at an unprecedented rate might disrupt the usual grieving process of

an individual (Wallace et al., 2020), which can eventually lead to the global rise of prolonged

grief disorder (Eisma et al., 2020) and persistent complex bereavement disorder (Djelantik et al.,

2020). When people do not adapt to these changes, they risk experiencing adverse mental health

outcomes (Williams et al., 2020). Also, people who experienced sudden deaths show more

symptoms of grief than those people who experienced natural deaths (Titlestad et al., 2019).
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 10

Furthermore, an interesting cross-sectional survey revealed that people who experienced recent

loss during the pandemic had higher grief levels than those who experienced recent loss before

the pandemic (Eisma and Tamminga, 2020).

In summary, recent publications suggest that grieving during a socially isolating global

pandemic is different from what people are used to due to the absence of final moments with the

deceased loved ones (e.g., funeral ceremonies). Therefore, families of the deceased may

experience a complicated grief process, and it can affect everyone regardless of their age group.

Even though social support systems can mitigate its adverse effect, their capabilities to prevent

further mental health problems are limited due to the current restriction on holding funeral/burial

rites of the bereaved families, which is considered a significant personal meaning-making event.

As a result, the victims’ families are more susceptible to developing mental health problems or

experiencing more long-term effects of the death of a loved one.

Conceptual Framework

Figure 1

Conceptual Framework on Complicated Grief Process

Note: The conceptual framework is a visual representation of the phenomenon formulated

according to the review of related literature and studies.


GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 11

It is not surprising that the COVID-19 pandemic caused a massive toll of sudden and

unexpected deaths globally (i.e., more than five million deaths). It also made some cultural

changes as the government of the Philippines prohibited the traditional funeral practices of

Filipinos. Since the death is sudden and unexpected, it is tougher for the bereaved family to

comprehend and accept the loss. They are also unable to commemorate the last days of their

loved ones, which is considered a personal meaning-making event, due to the absence of burial

ceremonies. These two combined caused the “complicated grief process,” as identified by

previous scholars. Indeed, the nature of death, existing family and social support networks, and

cultural contexts are factors that can influence bereavement (Mayland et al., 2020).

Under this new process, one of the two possible conditions may affect the recovery path

of the bereaved individual. First, the feelings of grief may be alleviated if there is a social

support system during the complicated grief process. Second, if the social support system is

absent during the process, the feelings of grief might be exacerbated, or their coping capabilities

might be impacted. The second condition is concerning and probably, the most possible because

social gatherings (e.g., funeral ceremonies) during the pandemic are either limited or prohibited.

Social gatherings are when social support systems (e.g., close friends and relatives) are

overwhelmingly provided to the bereaved families.

Methods

Methods and Techniques of the Study

The study was in accordance with what Scheinfeld et al. (2021) did. It was chosen to

strengthen their results’ cross-cultural validity and see whether their findings are stable across

different cultures. The study employed an interpretative phenomenological analysis (IPA) as the

research design. IPA is a qualitative approach that seeks to detail the account of lived
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 12

experiences of people rather than one pre-determined by existing theoretical concepts (Smith &

Osborn, 2015). Similar to Scheinfeld et al. (2021), this study did not use any theoretical concepts

and hypotheses as a basis because IPA recognized that humans are sense-making organisms and

construe their subjective reality. Furthermore, a semi-structured interview approach was used

because it enabled the researchers to clarify specific responses from the participants (Raworth et

al., 2012).

Population and Sample of the Study

The participants in this research are people who had lost their loved ones during the

COVID-19 pandemic and whose bereavement period is not more than two (2) years. They are

recruited through purposive sampling and ensured their willingness to participate before the

interview process. A total of 10 participants are interviewed who reside in Bataan, Philippines,

and came from different family units. They did not also experience any form of funeral

ceremonies that commemorate the loss of their loved ones.

Research Instrument

The study employed a semi-structured interview as the primary data gathering tool;

specifically, the researcher used five-item open-ended questions (see Appendix). It was chosen

because it enables the interviewer to clarify specific responses from participants without

diverging from the main focus of the interview process, and it allows for a better grasp of the

participants’ real feelings and sentiments (Raworth et al., 2012). In addition, the open-ended

questions were sufficient to cover all aspects of the research problem, and it was translated into

Filipino for the participants to fully grasp the questions (Welch & Piekkari, 2006).
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 13

Moreover, the entire questionnaire was validated by three experts in the field (see

Appendix) to determine if the problem of the study might be solved based on the participants’

knowledge and experiences. Finally, the translation of the interview questions was validated by a

Filipino licensed professional teacher (LPT) who majors in English (see Appendix).

Data Gathering Procedure

Considering the increasing number of active cases of SARS-CoV-2 in Bataan, the study

used telephone interviews (i.e., video calls) with the participants to get the necessary data. Before

proceeding to the interview sessions, the participants signed a consent form after explaining all

the aspects of the research process and its significance and benefits. Withdrawal from the

research at any given time is an option that was also given to them. The five-item open-ended

questions were the primary data gathering tool for this research. After each interview, the

researchers conducted a debriefing session to reverse any potential psychological harm imposed

by the data gathering procedure, and they were assured that all the information gathered would

solely be used for the research. Before proceeding to the analysis, the participants validated the

whole interview transcript. Fortunately, no participants withdrew during the entire research

process.

Data Analysis

The data analysis administered in this study was adopted from the steps of interpretative

phenomenological analysis (IPA) first described by Smith et al. (2021). The six-step process are

(1) reading and rereading, (2) initial noting, (3) developing emergent themes, (4) searching for

connections across emergent themes, (5) moving to the next case, and (6) looking for patterns

across cases. Lastly, the researchers consulted the published literature during the discussion
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 14

phase to analyze how the current studies in the academe relate to the study’s findings. (Smith et

al., 2021).

Results

Profile of the Participants

Table 1 presents the personal profile of the participants in terms of their code, age, sex,

and period of bereavement.

Table 1

Personal Profile of the Participants

Participant Code Sex Age Period of Bereavement

1 P1 Male 35 8 months
2 P2 Female 29 1 year and 4 months
3 P3 Male 21 1 year and 11 months
4 P4 Female 21 7 months
5 P5 Female 22 6 months
6 P6 Female 20 3 months
7 P7 Female 22 11 months
8 P8 Female 57 6 months
9 P9 Female 24 6 months
10 P10 Male 60 7 months

As indicated in Table 1, 10 bereaved individuals participated in this study. In terms of age

group, there were five (5) youth (ages 15-24) and five (5) adults (ages 25-64) with an average age

of 29 for the entire sample. Regarding sex, there were seven (7) female and three (3) male

participants. Furthermore, the average period of bereavement of all the participants is

approximately nine (9) months, with four (4) people whose bereavement periods were less than or

equal to six months, four (4) people with more than six months but less than a year, and two (2)

people with more than one year of bereavement period.


GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 15

Themes

The results of the interpretative data analysis yielded two (2) major themes, namely

“Psychological Facet” and “Sociological Facet,” which consist of four (4) and two (2) sub-major

themes, respectively. Each sub-major theme is composed of several minor themes that detail and

specify the experiences of bereaved individuals. The entire thematic table is presented in Table 2.

Table 2

Thematic Table Yielded by the IPA

PSYCHOLOGICAL FACET SOCIOLOGICAL FACET


Affective Behavioral Cognitive Coping Social Family
Components Components Components Mechanisms Support Dynamics

Guilt and Does not know Denial Coping with Showing Family
regrets how to deliver the the loss social/emotional estrangement
news Mind- through support and after the death
Resentment blanking reminiscing empathy of a loved one
Lack of contact
Absence of and not seeing the Forced Revisited Strong family ties Stronger ties
presence deceased after acceptance mementos of as a form of social with the family
death deceased support after the death
Grieving pronouncement Delayed loved one of a loved one
alone realization Close personal
Prohibition Humor as a relationships as a
Disrupted caused by the Unexpected coping form of social
mood pandemic death mechanism support

Resiliency Social support


from social media
Making their
selves busy
and being
productive

Optimism and
positive
attitude

Psychological Facet

The first major theme generated by the data analysis is the “Psychological Facet.” This

theme is composed of affective, mental, and behavioral characteristics during the bereavement
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 16

period of an individual affected by the current COVID-19 pandemic. It includes the emotions,

mental processes, actions, and attitudes rooted in the experiences of a bereaved person.

Specifically, this major theme is composed of four (4) sub-major themes, namely (1) Affective

Components, (2) Behavioral Components, (3) Cognitive Components, and (4) Coping

Mechanisms. Each sub-major theme is thoroughly explained in the succeeding sections.

Affective Components. Affect refers to the feelings we experience as part of our

everyday lives. However, this component under the “Psychological Facet” is defined as the

emotions and emotional reactions stemming from a person’s bereavement experiences during

this pandemic. The interpretative data analysis yielded five (5) minor themes under this category.

The minor themes are presented and explained in Table 3.

Table 3

Affective Components of the Bereavement Experiences

Themes and description Example quote


Guilt and regrets
Their guilt was formed through their choices, which “Iyon nga ‘yung inaano ng nanay ko.
turned out to be wrong, and because they blamed Para daw ang sama-sama niyang
themselves for the things that happened. They asawa. Ba’t naman kako? (Sabi
also showed regrets specifically on how they niya) Para ko na ikang tinapon ang
behaved toward them when they were still alive. papa mo ro’n.” (P1)
Resentment
They showed resentment due to the extent of their “Nagdedesisyon sila (LGU) nang
pain. Their life changed because of their loss, and hindi naming alam. Alam mo ‘yung
they feel angry with the factors that caused sila sana unang susuporta sa inyo
situations to happen. They went through so much kaso hindi.” (P2)
but ended up losing their loved ones.
Absence of presence
The family's lives changed from their daily living to “Isang buong taon talaga malungkot
the special occasions because a part of them was buong pamilya. … iba ‘yung
missing. They feel their absence more in presence ng pamilya naming noong
situations when they need them or when they nabubuhay pa siya e kesa noong
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 17

remember the things they used to do together nawala siya. Hindi na masigla.
cannot be done because of the absence of their Kapag nandoon kami masigla
presence. noon.” (P3)
Grieving alone
Grief can make someone feel alone and isolated. “Sa pamilya ko hindi ko masabi kung
Reaching out to other people, even a close friend fully healed na ba sila kasi hindi rin
or family, is hard. As a result, grieving alone naman sila nagsasabi. Wala sari-
made it easier for them to accept the reality that sarili lang. Parang nahihiya kami
their loved one was gone. ganon.” (P3)
Disrupted mood
The bereaved families had occurrences of disrupted “Noong ano, sabi ko talaga sa kanila,
mood. They lost the will to continue their para akong mababaliw... 3 days
everyday life and lost their sense of self because akong hindi natulog kakaisip sa
of the disruption. They experienced the kanila. Libang-libang lang sa
symptoms of disruptive mood such as disturbed sarili.” (P2)
sleep, loss of appetite, fatigue, and anxiety.

Guilt and regrets. We often reminisce about the deceased in the early stages of grief.

Recalling situations, memories, and experiences with them always lead us to feel guilt and

regret. The participants are not an exception to this. They expressed guilt and regrets upon losing

their loved ones. The participants enunciated their painful experiences and feelings about the past

when their loved ones were still alive. Their guilt made them accused and blame themselves for

their loss. They feel responsible for the death of their loved ones. For example, “P1” (35 years

old, male) said that “iyon nga ‘yung inaano ng nanay ko. Para daw ang sama-sama niyang asawa

. . . Para ko na ikang tinapon ang papa mo ro’n.”

Other participants expressed their guilt and regret by thinking about their past behavior

towards the deceased. They wished they treated them better and hoped they had done things

“differently”. In fact, “P5” (22 years old, female) said that “tapos...ano parang...siguro mayroong

sadness. Ano, parang every now and then kase...I could never do those things nga. Tsaka, regret

kase nga...kase I was never that affectionate towards her.” It is only natural to feel guilt and
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 18

regret when losing a person we value, especially when sudden and unexpected. We are not

physically and mentally prepared to lose them. The unresolved issues, conflicts, or unfinished

business that the participants have with the deceased resulted in them feeling guilt and regret.

Resentment. Resentment was evident to the participants because of their unexpected loss.

Different factors affect their resentments, such as their emotional attachment with the deceased,

the extreme pain of losing their loved one, and the radical change in the bereaved family’s lives.

These factors reached the extent of their emotions which caused them to feel resentment. The

participants showed different resentments. Some showed resentment towards the LGUs, Health

Centers, and Hospitals. “P2” (29 years old, female) said that “nagka problema kami rito sa center

at sa LGU. Kasi dahil sa kanila kaya na quarantine kami nang napakatagal. Nagdedesisyon sila

nang hindi naming alam.” Meanwhile, others showed resentment due to their disbelief with the

cause of death of their loved one. “P8” (57 years old, female) stated that “may sisihan pa dahil

bakit nga idineclare na meron siya COVID e ni hindi nga daw siya na COVID.”

As resentment has anger as its key emotion and includes the primary emotions of disgust

and surprise, which can combine in pairs to form outrage, contempt, and shock, it is normal to

feel resentment after losing a loved one because they use it as their coping mechanism. They

blame the factors and the environment for causing the death of their loved one, and it gives them

the relief that they have done nothing wrong which caused the death.

Absence of presence. The absence of presence means living the life without the presence

of their loved one in the most important and meaningful moments in life. It triggers grief and

affects the daily lives of bereaved people. This component was experienced by some of the

participants in the littlest moments of their life. They tend to look for them when they need them

or miss them, but they are no longer there. They feel their loss more due to these instances and
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 19

situations. “P4” (21 years old, female) said that “syempre minsan nakakamiss din si lola kapag

wala ka na dinadatnan. … Kapag doon kami natutulog parang kulang…parang ‘yung presence

niya wala na sa bahay. Ramdam mo na may kulang.”

This component could also be experienced in the most significant events that only could

happen if they were still alive. The participants expressed how the absence of the presence of the

deceased affects the important occasions in their lives. In these moments, grief could be

triggered, and the absence of presence can be felt badly. In fact, “P9” (24 years old, female)

mentioned that “pag-uuwi kami ng Batangas, nawala na ‘yung excitement kasi wala na kaming

isusurprise pag dating do’n.”

The absence of presence also negatively impacted the bereaved people that could last

forever due to their matchless role in their lives. The participants expressed their sorrow and

grief when they knew that they would never see their loved ones anymore and that life would

never be the same without them. “P6” (20 years old, female) stated that “kase parang nawalan ng

parte ‘yung bahay. Nawalan siya ng isang stand. Kase para ngang nawala si Daddy Lo and hindi

kami sanay na wala siya kase parang siya ‘yung pinakamaingay sa aming tatlo.”

The absence of presence “sinks in” the thought that their family is forever gone. It makes

them face the reality of their loss. The adjustments and changes they experienced after losing

them took a toll on their daily lives. They felt a part of them was missing, but it helped them

accept their loss.

Grieving alone. Grieving alone in this pandemic is prevalent because of the implemented

physical distancing and health protocols. Articles reported that bereaved people were ‘forced’ to

grieve alone due to social distance, travel restrictions, and self-isolation (Selman et al., 2021). A

participant experienced being away from their family for almost a month because of quarantine.
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 20

Their families were all quarantined, but they were in separate facilities. One participant, “P2” (29

years old, female) dealt with grief alone in a COVID facility where she was admitted. She said

that “para kaming nag bakasyon. Nagluksa lang ako mag-isa.”

The other participants expressed that they grieved alone, but it was a kind of “social

isolation” rather than physical isolation. They did not express their grief to their family or

friends. For them, grieving alone felt more than just physical deprivation. They made themselves

socially deprived. “P4” (21 years old, female) stated that “hindi naman nakaapekto…parang sa

sarili ko lang dinamdam. May mga times na umiiyak lang ako magisa…basta umiiyak lang ako.”

Each family has a unique experience that must be honored. We witness families

experiencing the ‘cruelty’ of their loved one dying alone in the hospital, the ‘trauma’ of feeling

alone and unprepared for their loved ones dying at home, and the ‘helplessness’ of

communicating and advocating through a screen. And then there is the ‘what next, the grieving

alone, and the postponement of life celebrations.

Disrupted mood. The participants cannot face the harsh reality of losing their loved ones.

They experienced a roller coaster of negative emotions such as constant losing their sense of self,

losing their will to function, and admission of guilt. These circumstances lead them to the

occurrence of disrupted moods. Some participants found it more difficult to accept their

bereavement. It caused them to blame themselves for what happened and feel vexed with their

loss. These feelings and emotions are the reason for their disrupted moods. “P2” (29 years old,

female) said that “sabi ko talaga sa kanila, para akong mababaliw... 3 days akong hindi natulog

kakaisip sa kanila. Libang-libang lang sa sarili.”

Other participants were also left feeling discouraged, lost, and unmotivated with their

lives. The academic aspect of a participant was affected due to losing their loved one. Another
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 21

participant felt lethargic due to having difficulty accepting their bereavement. These aspects

caused them to experience disrupted moods. For example, “P3” (21 years old, male) mentioned

that “di ba nag-online class. Medyo parang wala ako sa mood mag gawa-gawa ng assignment

kasi nga may nawala sa buhay. Wala talaga ako sa mood. Tamad na tamad talaga ako sa buhay

ko.”

Picking up oneself after a loss will surely be a struggle. It is hard to get back on track

knowing that a part of us was gone forever. Accepting and facing the reality of not having their

loved one’s presence anymore caused the participants to experience disruptive moods.

Behavioral Components. This component under the “Psychological Facet” focuses on

how the bereaved individual’s behaviors and actions are affected by the death of a loved one

during the COVID-19 pandemic. There are three (3) minor themes under this component. It is

presented in Table 4.

Table 4

Behavioral Components of the Bereavement Experiences

Themes and description Example quote


Does not know how to deliver the news
Bereaved people often experience great shock after “Hindi rin naming alam paano
the loss of their loved one, and this shock hinders sasabihin kay mama, sa asawa
them from not knowing how to deliver the news niya.” (P1)
to their friends and families. It is usually either
because they cannot comprehend what had just “Paano ka haharap sa tao kasi
happened or cannot bear to see their loved ones biglang- bigla, hindi mo
be devastated by the news of their loved one’s maipalwanag sa kanila.” (P2)
death.
Lack of contact and not seeing the deceased after
death pronouncement
By taking away the right to have a funeral, bereaved “Parang ano ba, hindi ka maiiyak
people cannot gain any closure on their confusion kase hindi mo siya nakita...parang
about why their loved one had died and why this sobrang layo na hindi maiisip na
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 22

is happening to them. In this component, the lack kamag-anak mo siya. Na parang


of contact and not seeing after death hindi ka maiiyak kase hindi mo ma-
pronouncement reinforces the feeling of rerealize na ano, parang kamag-
confusion and shock on not being able to have anak mo ‘yung namatay.” (P5)
any closure on the death of their loved one due to
not seeing them one last time.
Prohibition caused by the pandemic
The pandemic greatly affected the grieving of “Noong nawala si Nanay, ang inisip
bereaved people. The government's prohibitions agad naming is papaano kami
to prevent the further spread of the COVID also makakapunta sa kanya. Ang higpit
hindered bereaved individuals’ ability to visit ng protocols non, madaming mga
their lost loved ones in their cemeteries. This checkpoints sa mga dadaanan
prohibition brought anxiety to the bereaved naming. Ako palang ‘yung fully
participants pondering how they would visit their vaccinated non.” (P9)
loved one’s grave and allow them to move on
finally.

Does not know how to deliver the news. Upon learning the news of their loved one’s

passing, Bereaved individuals are incredibly shocked and often confused about why this situation

is happening. They are hurt and greatly devastated after experiencing such an event. Because of

this, they cannot express or do not know how they would deliver the news to their loved ones.

“P2” (29 years old, female) mentioned that “hindi rin naming alam paano sasabihin kay mama,

sa asawa niya.”

Another reason bereaved individuals struggle to deliver the news to others because they

do not want or cannot bear to see their loved ones be saddened and overwhelmed with grief.

Further analysis showed that bereaved individuals do not know how to deliver the news because

they are also reminded of the loss of their deceased loved one and are overwhelmed with grief

and pain, thus hindering their rational thinking and affecting their behavior and actions. This

behavior can be further reinforced as many participants in this study feign ignorance and deny

that their deceased loved one did not pass away and are simply out of town. For example, “P7”

(22 years old, female) said that “iniisip nga daw nila na pumunta nga lang ng Australia.
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 23

Nagbakasyon lang. Kasi nga hindi mo nakitang binurol, hindi mo nakitang nilibing. Ayun ang

naging way nila.”

Lack of contact and not seeing the deceased after death pronouncement. A lack of

contact and not being able to see the deceased after death pronouncement is bound to create

doubts in individuals who are experiencing hardship and are being overwhelmed with grief.

According to the data gathered, many of the participants questioned whether their deceased loved

ones were indeed the ones that were being cremated as they did not have any contact or proof

after the death pronouncement; they could not visit nor confirm it due to the lockdown protocols.

For example, “P4” (21 years old, female) stated that:

Lockdown non eh ayun ‘yung kasagsagan ng delta ata tapos lockdown dito sa atin

lahat...basta lahat dito sa atin lockdown. Eh na sa Pampanga siya noon inadmit na

hospital so roon din cremation sa Pampanga kaya ayun wala talaga as in.

The lack of contact between the bereaved participants and their loved ones begins when

their loved ones are immediately confined to the hospital due to them having COVID. Due to the

lockdown, the patient diagnosed with COVID cannot be visited by their family, and as such, the

bereaved individuals develop guilt and doubts. “P5” (22 years old, female) mentioned that

“parang hindi ka maiiyak kase hindi mo siya nakita...parang sobrang layo na hindi maiisip na

kamag-anak mo siya. Na parang hindi ka maiiyak kase hindi mo ma-rerealize na ano, parang

kamag-anak mo ‘yung namatay.”

Although the lockdown protocols may have prevented the further spread of COVID, they

inadvertently affected the bereaved people’s behavior. Contact with someone before passing

away is a sign of connection that can ease you away from the grief to come. Without contact
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 24

prior to their death, this can affect an individual’s psyche and give them guilty feelings and

regret of not being there at the time of the passing of their loved one.

Prohibition caused by the pandemic. Another issue that arises from the pandemic is the

prohibition that hindered bereaved people’s ability to visit the grave of their deceased loved

ones. Bereaved people are stripped of their freedom to have funerals, visit their graves, and

contact their loved ones before passing away. This prohibition affects these individuals in

expressing their grief and achieving closure to move on with their lives. Not being able to host a

funeral affects their psyche as they may feel isolated in their grief. In context, “P7” (22 years old,

female) stated that:

Ang nangyari pa non kasi, hindi kami na-contact nung namatay siya. Umaga na kami na

contact. Hindi nila gagalawin yun hanggat walang permiso galing samin. Doon kami

nalungkot. Ang naisip pa namin, kung walang magaasikaso do’n, doon na siya ililibing.

They are also stripped of their freedom on whether they will want a cremation or not or

where would their deceased loved one be buried. The bereaved people become even more

anxious because they do not know what will become of their deceased loved one, as they are

prohibited from visiting and arranging plans on what is to be done next. “P9” (24 years old,

female) mentioned that “noong nawala si Nanay, ang inisip agad naming is papaano kami

makakapunta sa kanya. Ang higpit ng protocols non, madaming mga checkpoints sa mga

dadaanan naming. Ako palang ‘yung fully vaccinated non.”

Participant 9 further reinforces that this prohibition greatly affects their anxiety and, in

conjunction, their grief to a degree. Even though this prohibition was done according to safety, it

is the opposite for the bereaved individuals. This situation contributes to their irrational behavior,

and they may be prone to even more emotional problems.


GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 25

Cognitive Components. This sub-major theme under the “Psychological Facet” can be

defined as the thought processes, state of mind, and pattern of thinking that arise from the

experiences of bereaved individuals during the COVID-19 pandemic. The interpretative data

analysis yielded five (5) minor themes under this category. The minor themes are presented and

explained in Table 5.

Table 5

Cognitive Components of the Bereavement Experiences

Themes and description Example quote


Denial
This component is called denial because the “Iniisip nga daw nila na pumunta nga
participants typically deny that their experiences lang ng Australia. Nagbakasyon
are not real or that they did not happen at all. lang. Kasi nga hindi mo nakitang
Most of them said that their deceased loved ones binurol, hindi mo nakitang nilibing.
are just in another place and will come back Ayun ang naging way nila.” (P7)
anytime soon. They faced situations very
suddenly, and they had no time to recuperate
from what happened.
Mind-blanking
Bereaved people tend to lose their conscious “…nung narinig ko ‘yun parang wala
awareness after they know what happened. Their akong maramdaman, blangko
minds seem to be “nowhere”; they become lang…parang hind nag-sisink in. …
unresponsive to internal and external stimuli. Alam mo ‘yung tumutulo na lang
Their decision-making capabilities may be luha mo parang wala kang
temporarily impaired during this period, and their nararamdaman basta tumutulo lang
ability to think rationally is somehow inhibited. luha mo, ganon lang.” (P4)
Forced acceptance
Bereaved people accept everything that happens, “Sabi nga lang ni Ate na tumatawag
even if it is against their will. What will happen nun na wala naman din ngang
to the body of their loved deceased one is not mangyayari. Parang nagagalit siya
only in their hands anymore; they need to follow kunware na wag na kaming umiyak
the mandatory protocols concerning the burial of kasi wala naman ding mangyayari.
the bodies. Having an option is difficult during Kaya parang naitago nalang.” (P7)
those tough times. As a result, accepting the
decisions made by an external authority is easier.
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 26

Delayed realization
As the name implied, the realizations of the “...may mga uncle pa ako na
bereaved person about what happened are later nagdadalamhati pa talaga hanggang
than what they expected. Immediate ngayon as in hindi pa rin nila
understanding is somehow impaired because the inaakala na wala na si tatay.” (P3)
situations are too much to bear; it is
incomprehensible.
Unexpected death
Everything is pacing relatively fast, and the “Hindi. Hindi namin talaga ine-
bereaved individuals had no time to understand expect... Inubo lang siya tapos
the incident or even recuperate from what noong inubo na siya na ganyan,
happened. The participants encountered nilagnat na, ganun. Tapos noong
significant mental shock from the traumatic dinala na namin sa doktor, ayun na
event, which may be one of the antecedents of may lumabas na na kung ano-ano.”
their denial, mind-blanking, and delayed (P8)
realization.

Denial. Denial is a defense mechanism that can be traced back to the very beginning of

psychology. Sigmund Freud defined it as the one mechanism of the mind; the ego denies

unconscious thoughts as it causes stress and anxiety to the person (Fiest, J. et al., 2021). Denial is

also part of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’s five stages of grief, and it is the first stage where people

deny the death of their loved ones (Boerner, K. et al., 2015). As one of the minor themes of this

study, denial almost has the same conceptual meaning. Based on the data analysis, denial is when

the bereaved people deny everything related to the death of their loved ones and even create a

distorted, fictionalized scenario in their heads to cope with the loss. It somehow helps them

temporarily process everything to comprehend their situations. Most participants said their loved

ones are just “somewhere else,” and they will come back eventually. They denied that the person

had passed away and created a fictionalized, less threatening, and more comprehensible scenario.

“P8” (57 years old, female) said that “ay ano ka. Para kaming mga tanga. Sabi namin, baka na sa

banban lang. Na parang nandun lang sa bundok. Bababa din siya ganun.”
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 27

It is important to mention that denial seems to be their defense mechanism rather than a

coping mechanism. It happens unconsciously, and the bereaved person is somehow unaware of

it. Denial happens involuntarily as a response to the unfortunate situations they are facing. It is

not their coping mechanism because it is not a conscious and purposeful process; denial is

involuntary and does not operate in consciousness. Accordingly, “P1” (25 years old, male)

mentioned that “hindi mo man lang nakita. Na hindi mo alam kung ‘yung na sa bag na iyon,

kung ‘yun ba ang tatay mo dahil susunugin. Siyempre isipin mo, ‘yung baby nga na swap e, ‘yun

pa kayang patay?”

Many traditional and contemporary studies indicate that denial after someone close to us

passes away is normal (Boerner, K. et al., 2015). Nevertheless, it becomes troublesome when a

bereaved person denies the reality for a prolonged period; it has already impaired many aspects

of their life (e.g., Eisma, M. C. et al., 2020). Nevertheless, the denial that appeared among the

participants seems to be within the normal level, as they did not experience significant

impairment in any aspects of their lives (e.g., academic, occupational). It also seemed that their

denial was within the normal period.

Mind-blanking. Bereaved people tend to lose their conscious awareness after they know

what happened. Their minds seem to be “nowhere”; they become unresponsive to internal and

external stimuli. During this period, their decision-making capabilities may be temporarily

impaired, and their ability to think rationally is somehow inhibited. Based on the collected data,

the suddenness of death and the overflowing emotions may be the antecedents of this

phenomenon; however, it needs further research to validate this information. Nevertheless, mind-

blanking seems to be a universal experience in our sample. “P2” (29 years old, female) told that

“wala ako sa ano… wala ako sa sarili.”


GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 28

The overflowing emotions stem from the suddenness of death temporarily “shutdowns”

consciousness, which negatively affects emotional regulation, rational thinking, adaptive coping,

and decision-making abilities. Emotional numbness is also evident among the participants,

hindering their ability to recognize and acknowledge their own emotions during those moments.

For example, “P4” (21 years old, female) voiced that “…nung narinig ko ‘yun parang wala

akong maramdaman, blangko lang…parang hind nag-sisink in. … Alam mo ‘yung tumutulo na

lang luha mo parang wala kang nararamdaman basta tumutulo lang luha mo, ganon lang.”

Facilitation through social support during this vulnerable period may benefit the bereaved

person; they can have someone who will act as their temporary emotional outlet that may enable

adaptive coping. However, the data alone from this study is not enough to claim this as a piece of

empirical evidence. Nevertheless, adaptive coping is apparent whenever there is social support

during the bereavement period. “P7” (22 years old, female) brought up that “naka-overcome ako

agad sa lungkot na yun. Basta parang mabilis lang din kasi siguro tinulungan nalang din nila

(mga ate at tito) kaming gumaan ‘yung pakiramdam namin.”

Forced acceptance. In order to prevent the increasing number of COVID-19-related

deaths, the Department of Health in the Philippines mandates the immediate cremation of all the

dead bodies (i.e., suspected and confirmed COVID-19-related deaths) 12 hours after passing.

Bereaved people accept everything that happens, even if it is against their will. What will happen

to the body of their loved deceased one is not only in their hands anymore; they need to follow

the mandatory protocols regarding the burial of the bodies. “P8” (57 years old, female)

mentioned that:
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 29

Edi ayun na nga, nasaktan na silang lahat doon. Wala tayong magagawa, sabi ko. Dahil

unang-una, nanunungkulan ako. Ako pa ‘yung sisisihin. Na “health committee” ka pa

naman, alam mo yan ‘yung mga protocol na ganyan. Ginanon ako ng doktor.

Having an option is difficult during those tough times, and as a result, accepting the

decisions made by an external authority is easier. They are already emotionally and mentally

vulnerable during their bereavement period, and they have no other choice but to accept the

death of their loved ones. “P7” (22 years old, female) mentioned that “sabi nga lang ni Ate na

tumatawag nun na wala naman din ngang mangyayari. Parang nagagalit siya kunware na wag na

kaming umiyak kasi wala naman ding mangyayari.”

Delayed realization. As the name implied, the realizations of the bereaved person about

what happened are later than what they expected. Typically, after the death of a loved one,

overflowing emotions rushes in response to the bad news. Meanwhile, most of our sample went

through delayed realizations wherein, rather than overflowing emotions, they experienced mind-

blanking and denial first. Immediate understanding is somehow impaired because the situations

are too much to bear; it is incomprehensible. “P3” (21 years old, male) revealed that “...may mga

uncle pa ako na nagdadalamhati pa talaga hanggang ngayon as in hindi pa rin nila inaakala na

wala na si tatay.”

Based on the analysis, the combination of lack of funeral ceremonies and the suddenness

of deaths may be the causal reasons for this phenomenon. Still, it is too early to conclude as it

needs further research to validate this information. Nevertheless, most of the participants

encountered delayed realization at some point in their bereavement period. One participant even

mentioned that she only realized what happened after months of grieving. Specifically, “P5” (22
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 30

years old, female) told that “tapos nung parang tumatagal na, parang September, October, parang

November lang nag-sink in sa akin, nung birthday niya.” (P5)

Unexpected and sudden deaths. It is not surprising that many people worldwide

encounter unexpected deaths — someone they know died but is not expected to die in a certain

way or place — or sudden deaths — when a person dies suddenly and earlier than expected —

because of the pandemic. Most of our participants also encountered this; they did not expect their

loved ones to die or immediately pass away. Everything is pacing relatively fast, and the

bereaved individuals had no time to understand the incident or even recuperate from what

happened. “P8” (57 years old, female) brought up that “hindi namin talaga ine-expect... Inubo

lang siya tapos noong inubo na siya na ganyan, nilagnat na, ganun. Tapos noong dinala na namin

sa doktor, ayun na may lumabas na na kung ano-ano.”

The participants encountered significant mental shock from the traumatic event, which

may be one of the antecedents of their denial, mind-blanking, and delayed realization. The

participants had no death expectations since most of the deceased had no comorbidities (n = 9).

Nevertheless, further research is needed to validate the causal relationship between

unexpected/sudden death and the aforementioned effects (i.e., denial, mind-blanking, and

delayed realization).

Facing the suddenness and unexpectedness of death became relatively common in the

context of the current pandemic. Many bereaved individuals face internal, external, and novel

challenges stemming from their unusual experiences. Mental health professionals must

acknowledge these relatively new experiences that may cause new and atypical effects on

people’s well-being.
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 31

Coping Mechanisms. Coping mechanism, in this context, refers to the mental and

behavioral strategies that people draw on during their bereavement period to process the intense

pain and complex emotions and adapt to their situations. This sub-major theme can be defined as

the actions and thoughts that someone does to handle a stressful situation. Under this sub-major

theme, six minor themes were concluded based on the data analysis. The minor themes are

presented and explained in Table 6.

Table 6

Coping Mechanisms of Bereaved People During this Pandemic

Themes and description Example quote


Coping with the loss through reminiscing
Whenever they miss their loved ones, they just “Pero ayun nga nakakamiss na inaalala si
think of what they did when the deceased was lola. Aalis kami ng inaalala si lola
still alive. The usual things that the parang “sama natin si lola sa ganito”
participants did were going through their “gusto ni lola ng ganito” “bilhan natin
conversations, photos, and the things their ng ganito si lola” parang lagi para sa
loved ones used to do. It became one of their kanya. Siya lagi inaalala ngayon wala
coping mechanisms when things were hard for na.” (P4)
them.
Revisited mementos of deceased loved ones
It happens when the participants reminisce about “May kinuha din kaming parang
their loved ones through their important remembrance din namin parang mga
belongings. Usually, they are doing this right daster nya. Nandoon samin, ginagamit
after their loved one passes away. They are namin para naalala namin siya lagi.
keeping their belongings because they can still ‘Yung bag nya na nandoon lahat ng
feel the presence of their loved ones in that IDs nya, na sa akin ‘yun.” (P8)
way. Some participants even went to where
their loved ones used to live.
Humor as a coping mechanism
One uses this as a coping mechanism to relieve “Naiisip nila na nagbibiruan na nga lang
their stress or what happened to them. It is na “paano nandito si nanay?” ganun. ...
defined as when the participants take the Hindi naman sa okay lang pero siguro
situation lightly by making jokes about their life goes on lang din siguro ang iniisip
loved ones to the people around them. nila.” (P7)
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 32

Resiliency
Being resilient has been one of the major “Kase may mga bagay ka ring dapat
characteristics of Filipinos. Regardless of intindihin eh. May mga bago na
what happened to them, the participants nandito na dapat naming ituloy gawin.
showed a strong mentality. They did not let Na parang if we settle with that grief,
the situation hinder them from continuing we will not finish anything at all.” (P5)
their own lives. Participants have the urge to
move forward and accept things the way it is.
Making their selves busy and being productive
Either they will engage with new activities or “So hinahayaan kong ma-busy...sobrang
push themselves to keep doing their tasks. ma-busy ‘yung sarili ko kase ayaw
They are purposely keeping themselves busy, kong maisip, ayaw kong magkaroon ng
so they will not feel the sadness, or they will even a second na wala kong ginagawa
not remember their loved ones. Some of them kase bigla kong siyang maiisip kase
expressed that they do not want to stop what feeling ko doon ako...doon ko mas
they are doing, not even for a second, because naaalala ‘yung sakit na naramdaman
they are afraid that the thought of their loved ko before.” (P6)
ones might cross their minds.
Optimism and positive attitude
When someone is grieving, it is perfectly fine to “Inisip nalang din kasi namin na kung
be sad or not okay, but in this coping nandito siya, nahihirapan nalang din
mechanism, the participants tried to shift their siya. Napapagod na rin siya kakapunta
negative emotions into positive ones. Instead ng doktor. Iniisip nalang namin na mas
of being sad while grieving, they decided to mabuting nakapag pahinga nalang din
become optimistic about the loss. siya ganun.” (P7)

Coping with the loss through reminiscing. Reminiscing can help a person relieve their

stress. It can also produce positive feelings and enhance the well-being of a person (Speer &

Delgado, 2019). At some point, people go through this pace to ease the emotion that they are

dealing with. In this minor theme, the participants go back to the times wherein their loved ones

were still alive. They think that “if she/he were still here, she/he would love this.” The usual

things that the participants did were going through their conversations, photos, and the things

their loved ones used to do. Sometimes they associate their loved ones with the things they will

do or the places they went. It became one of their coping mechanisms when things were hard for

them. “P4” (21 years old, female) even mentioned that “pero ayun nga nakakamiss na inaalala si
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 33

lola. Aalis kami ng inaalala si lola parang “sama natin si lola sa ganito” “gusto ni lola ng ganito”

“bilhan natin ng ganito si lola” parang lagi para sa kanya. Siya lagi inaalala ngayon wala na.”

Additionally, the participants reminisced with their relatives; it became their bonding.

Some even went to their loved one’s tombs whenever they missed them. However, coping with

the loss through reminiscing is different from revisiting mementos of deceased loved ones.

Through reminiscing, the participants think of the memories with the deceased person, either

doing this with their relatives or alone, but in the latter, some objects were involved.

Revisited mementos of deceased loved ones. In this minor theme, the deceased’s

belongings hold emotional power over the participants. Usually, they are doing this right after

their loved one passes away. They are keeping their belongings to remind them of the presence

of their loved ones. One participant even sent a message to their loved one’s Facebook account,

and they even downloaded photos of them. Not just that, someone visited their loved one’s house

when they missed them. For example, “P8” (57 years old, female) stated that:

Yung mga gamit nyang mahahalaga, kasi may huling sinabi daw sya doon sa kapatid ko.

Yung mga gamit nya na yun, ako talaga yung nag ayos. Sa kapatid kong walang asawa,

doon ko pinagbibigay lahat ng mga gamit nya. May kinuha din kaming parang

remembrance din namin parang mga daster nya. Nandoon samin, ginagamit namin para

naalala namin sya lago. ‘Yung bag nya na nandon lahat ng IDs nya, nasa akin yun.

One of the funeral practices here in the Philippines is putting the deceased person's things

in their casket. However, when the pandemic hit us, this practice was set aside because funeral

rights were banned, and the only option was to cremate the deceased person the moment they

passed away. Thus, the belongings stayed with the family, making them easily revisit their times

with their loved ones.


GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 34

Humor as a coping mechanism. According to Bob Griggs of the National Alliance on

Mental Health, humor can be used to take depression down a notch, as a way to tell the truth, and

to cope if we use it in the right way. We all know that Filipinos are known to be good jokers. We

always find a way to make the situation light even if we are already facing something that is not

good. The participants used humor despite losing someone. They usually joke around with their

relatives. “P7” (22 years old, female) told that “naiisip nila na nagbibiruan na nga lang na “paano

nandito si nanay?” ganun. Pero hindi mo naman sila makikitaan na super ano sila. Hindi naman

sa okay lang pero siguro life goes on lang din siguro ang iniisip nila.”

One uses this as a coping mechanism to relieve the stress brought by what happened to

them. Instead of dwelling on the sadness, the participants decided to find humor in their

situations

Resiliency. Being resilient has been one of the major characteristics of Filipinos. We

have shown how resilient we are during the COVID-19 pandemic; we easily pick ourselves up in

tough situations. Like losing a loved one, they showed a strong mentality regardless of what

happened to them. They did not let the situation hinder them from continuing their own lives.

Participants have the urge to face what happened, move forward and accept things the way it is.

“P5” (22 years old, female) shared that “kase may mga bagay ka ring dapat intindihin eh. May

mga bago na nandito na dapat naming ituloy gawin, na parang if we settle with that grief, we will

not finish anything at all.”

The good thing with this coping mechanism is that participants learned to accept what

happened to their loved ones, but the downside is that some participants were forced to set aside

their emotions. They think that they need to settle things as quickly as possible when the truth is

that grieving is a long process, and you need to deal with those emotions.
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 35

Making their selves busy and being productive. When someone dies, people realize that

they do not know how to continue or start their lives again. According to the data that we have

gathered, half of the respondents’ coping mechanism is making themselves busy and productive.

To cope with losing someone, respondents make themselves so busy that they will forget that

they are dwelling. Either they will engage themselves with new activities or push themselves to

keep doing their tasks. They are purposely keeping themselves busy, so they will not feel the

sadness or they will not remember their loved ones. Some of them expressed that they do not

want to stop what they are doing, not even for a second, because they are afraid that the thought

of their loved ones might cross their minds. Best sample to this is what “P6” (20 years old,

female) stated that:

So hinahayaan kong ma-busy...sobrang ma-busy yung sarili ko kase ayaw kong maisip,

ayaw kong magkaroon ng even a second na wala kong ginagawa kase bigla kong siyang

maiisip kase feeling ko doon ako...doon ko mas naaalala yung sakit na naramdaman ko

before.

Keeping oneself busy might only work short-term. It does not guarantee that participants

will fully recover from grieving. It might be a good thing because they are still functioning and

can do those activities despite what happened, but the downside is that participants continuously

disregard their emotions.

Optimism and positive attitude. When someone is grieving, it is perfectly fine to be sad

or not okay, but in this coping mechanism, the participants tried to shift their negative emotions

into a positive one. Instead of being sad while grieving, they decided to become optimistic about

the loss. Usually, one of the participants’ thoughts is that the deceased person is in a better place

now than when they were still alive. “P7” (22 years old, female) mentioned “Inisip nalang din
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 36

kasi namin na kung nandito sya, nahihirapan nalang din sya. Napapagod na rin sya kakapunta ng

doktor. Iniisip nalang namin na mas mabuting nakapag pahinga nalang din sya ganoon.”

One of the participants even mentioned that maybe this was God’s plan. So, they just

accepted what happened to their loved ones. “P1” (35 years old, male) told that “...siguro kaloob

ni Lord ‘yon na, do’n siya kuhanin. Nag-ano lang kami, positive thinking... Iyon ang naging ano

namin na positive. ‘Yung lakas namin binigay lang namin kay Lord.” Also, another participant,

“P2” (29 years old, female), said that even if they lost someone, there are still alive people

despite the COVID-19 situation. Specifically, she mentioned that “may nawala man, may natira

pa naman.”

Sociological Facet

The second major theme is named “Sociological Facet” because this component includes

external factors (i.e., social support) that can affect a bereaved person’s thoughts, feelings, and

behaviors. It also includes the impact of grieving experiences during this pandemic on their

immediate social environment (i.e., family). Specifically, there are two (2) sub-major themes

under this facet, namely (1) Social Support and (2) Family Dynamics. Each sub-major theme is

thoroughly explained in the succeeding sections.

Social Support. This theme—social support—refers to the external assistance (e.g.,

interpersonal relationships) bereaved individuals receive to facilitate their grief and bereavement.

The interpretative data analysis yielded four (4) minor themes under the category of social

support. The minor themes are presented and explained in Table 7.


GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 37

Table 7

Different Types of Social Support

Themes and description Example quote


Showing social/emotional support and empathy
It refers to the ability to emotionally grasp what “what I dreaded the most while I was
people are feeling, work out things from their walking towards my relatives is
perspective, and place oneself in their shoes. ‘yung ano ... ‘yung magiging
Understanding their grief and the pain they are feelings nila. ... So, parang I set
going through aid people around them in aside my grief first, para ma-cater
determining the appropriate course of action to ko kung ano ‘yung magiging
offer support and assistance. emotion nila during that time.” (P5)
Strong family ties as a form of social support
Participants demonstrated that people who share the “Cinomfort naming (pamilya) ‘yung
identical experience of losing a loved one isa’t isa kasi may mga uncle pa ako
understood each other's feelings. This implies that na nagdadalamhati pa talaga
good communication between family members is hanggang ngayon as in hindi pa rin
useful to deal with and overcome traumatic nila inaakala na wala na si tatay.”
experiences like death.participants even went to (P3)
where their loved ones used to live.
Close personal relationship as a form of social support
Strong connections outside the family aid people in “Actually, buti nandito ‘yung
making a robust web to address the toughest girlfriend ko. Siya ‘yung nag-
challenges in life. Social networks offer any comfort sa akin during nung nawala
partnership that satisfies the style of people’s lolo ko. … Pero ‘yung nakatulong
physical and emotional demands. It suggests that talaga sa akin is ‘yung girlfriend ko
interpersonal relationships make people feel that talaga.” (P3)
they are not alone in managing these experiences.
Social support from social media
Social media became an extension, a large platform “’Yung iba nagme-message. ‘Yung
to remain connected with people and provide help iba directly ‘yung tulong, pag
and support to bereaved individuals. On the nadaan sila ganon. ‘Yung iba
condition that social media is a bridge to others, it nagbigay ng financial and social
plays a vital role in facilitating grief. support ganyan.” (P7)

Showing social/emotional support and empathy. Empathy is more than just

understanding what others are going through; it includes feeling it as if it was their own. It is the

link between oneself and others since it is how people comprehend what others are dealing
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 38

through as if we are dealing through it ourselves. It is an active attempt to think beyond ourselves

and apart from our own concerns. One participant said that instead of prioritizing her grief, she

set aside those feelings to accommodate those closer to the dead. In challenging times like losing

a loved one, showing emotional compassion to others build stronger interpersonal relationships,

reduce tensions, and minimize distressing emotions. “P5” (22 years old, female) also stated that:

What I dreaded the most while I was walking towards my relatives is yung ano ... yung

magiging feelings nila.kase sila yung anak, sila yung talagang close. So parang I set aside

my grief first, para ma-cater ko kung ano yung magiging emotion nila during that time.

It should be noted that people who can truly feel and understand their emotional state are

important in offering social support. It is a significant factor in assessing what other people are

dealing with. In times of uncertainty, self-blame is inevitable. People tend to be hard on

themselves, especially when they are in a situation they cannot control. In fact, “P1” (35 years

old, male) mentioned that “ngayon ‘yung kinaharap namin ‘yun na kung pa’no sabihin na hindi,

hindi ikaw ‘yung may mali ro’n sa sitwasyon na ‘yon. Kaya ayon nga ang sinasabi namin na may

plan si God.”

Strong family ties as a form of social support. In difficult times, familial and social

support has the most significant role in dealing with grief. The first line of social support comes

from the family. Being surrounded by people who share the same experiences, battling with the

same grief and bereavement is the most effective way to cope with the loss. Family members

serve as companions who look out and support each other, an anchor they can rely on while

dealing with bereavement. “P3” (21 years old, male) emphasized that “cinomfort namin

(pamilya) ‘yung isa’t isa kasi may mga uncle pa ako na nagdadalamhati pa talaga hanggang

ngayon as in hindi pa rin nila inaakala na wala na si tatay.”


GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 39

As families grieve together, their relationships grow stronger. Effective communication

between family members is a defensive factor from further psychological problems. After death,

families must have a chance to acknowledge and recognize their grief. It is usual for families to

grieve together, share the same thoughts, open up regarding their feelings, and reminisce the

memories of the dead. According to “P8” (57 years old, female), “noong first month nya, ayun

para kaming mga tanga. Naglulupon-lupon kami (family) doon sa catgas. Naguusap-usap.

Naalala talaga namin sya.”

Close personal relationships as a form of social support. Humans are considered social

animals. Humans need to interact, share, and exchange feelings and thoughts. Unfortunately, the

mandates of the pandemic on social distancing caused people to have a hard time seeking

support from close friends and people outside the first line of social support, which is the family.

Strong connections outside the family aid people in making a robust web to address the toughest

challenges in life. “P3” (21 years old, male) told that “actually, buti nandito ‘yung girlfriend ko.

Siya ‘yung nag-comfort sa akin during nung nawala lolo ko.… Pero ‘yung nakatulong talagasa

akin is ‘yung girlfriend ko talaga.”

Extended personal relationships aside from families such as partners, friends, and

community provide the support that meets the physical and emotional needs of the bereaved

individuals. It implies that interpersonal relationships let people feel as if they are not alone in

dealing with these emotions. Sample of this is what “P6” (20 years old, female) mentioned that

“marami kase siguro dahil sa friends ko rin, sa number of friends ko rin. Super friedly

ko...aminado naman ako na talagang ang dami rin talagang sumuporta sa akin non.”

Social support from social media. During the pandemic, where face-to-face interaction is

limited, if not, is entirely prohibited, social media is the only way of communication. It is the
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 40

only platform where the bereaved can access the support needed to cope with the death. In the

digital age, where most people have access to various social media platforms, social media

became a tool to expand people’s social connections virtually. Participants pointed out that

messages they received from people helped them aid their grief. Nevertheless, having an

extended, wider range of support systems from families to social networks plays a significant

role in facilitating the grief of bereaved individuals. “P9” (24 years old, female) said that

“malaking tulong din yung mga nagsesend ng text at chat ng pakikiramay. Kahit papaano

nakakagaan din ng pakiramdam.”

Family Dynamics. This component—family dynamics—is composed of patterns of

emotional and social interactions with other family members and relatives after the death of their

loved ones. The focal point of interpretation here is on participants’ comparisons of their pre-and

post-death relationships with other family members. The interpretative data analysis yielded two

(2) minor themes under this category, which were presented and explained in Table 8.

Table 8

Family Dynamics After the Death of their Loved Ones

Themes and description Example quote


Family estrangement after the death of a loved one
Family estrangement—the loss of previously “Kaya nung namatay siya, parang
existing family relationships through physical or biglang nabuwag, parang biglang
emotional distancing—is relatively common naputol, na to the point na, ‘yung
among the samples. They became emotionally ibang family members hindi na
and physically distant from other family members nagkakamustahan, hindi na umuwi
after the death of their loved ones. They describe dito nung new year. Parang hiwa-
their relationship as “very different from what hiwalay na kami.” (P5)
they are used to.”
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 41

Stronger family ties after the death of a loved one


They expressed that their family ties are stronger “Ay okay kami. Sobrang okay kami.
than before; after the deceased person passed Mas okay kesa noong buhay pa.
away, they spend more time together, and they Kasi syempre nararamdaman
better understand each other now. The deceased naman namin na kahit wala na
person’s passing made them realize that they ‘yung nanay namin, kailangan
should be more emotionally connected now than magkaisa-isa pa rin kami.” (P8)
ever because they only have each other’s backs.

Family estrangement after the death of a loved one. Family estrangement—the loss of

previously existing family relationships through physical or emotional distancing—is relatively

common among the samples. They become emotionally and physically distant from other family

members after the death of their loved ones. They describe their relationship as “very different

from what they are used to.” Unlike before, their relatives stop coming over when there is a

special celebration in their households. Most of them expressed that the deceased person is the

one who binds the family together; the moment they die, “something” is shattered, and the pillars

suddenly collapse. The family dynamic changed because many conflicts rose after the person

passed away. For example, “P5” (22 years old, female) mentioned that “kaya nung namatay siya,

parang biglang nabuwag, parang biglang naputol, na to the point na, yung ibang family members

hindi na nagkakamustahan, hindi na umuwi dito nung new year. Parang hiwa-hiwalay na kami.”

One participant also experienced family estrangement through physical distancing. She

expressed that instead of living in a household where she needed to conform with everybody, she

rather moved out and lived independently and free from toxicity. Moving out is a relief because

living with her family member without her mother stresses her out. Living away from your

relatives is one example of family estrangement through physical distancing. “P5” (22 years old,

female) stated that “ang naisip nalang na gawin ng mga kuya ko na lumipat kami. Kasi nakaka
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 42

stress kung sama-sama. Iintindihin mo lahat. May tamad, may ganun ka talagang kasama sa

bahay. Ang naisip nalang namin ay maghiwa-hiwalay nalang ng tirahan.”

Family estrangement, either through physical or emotional distancing, is found among

the participants; however, the causes of this phenomenon remained unknown. Further research is

ideal for determining the causal factors of family estrangement after the death of loved ones. It is

too early to conclude the possible changes in family dynamics when someone in one household

died during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Stronger ties with the family after the death of a loved one. In contrast with family

estrangement, stronger family ties may also happen after the death of a loved one. They

expressed that their family ties are stronger than before; after the deceased person passed away,

their relatives who live far away or abroad came over to commemorate their loved ones. They

spend more time together, and they better understand each other now. The deceased person’s

passing made them realize that they should be more emotionally connected now than ever

because they only have each other’s backs. “P7” (22 years old, female) stated that “parang

nagkasundo-sundo din kami. Yung parang mako-compare mo nga noong buhay si nanay, hindi

kami ganto e. Parang mas nagkasundo sundo kami ngayon.”

One participant has gone through a seemingly interesting experience. Participant 7, as

mentioned in the previous paragraphs, first experienced family estrangement through physical

distancing after the death of her mother. She decided to move out of their old house. However,

after months of bereavement, she said that her relationship with her other family members is

stronger now than before; her mother’s death was a significant event that made them more

connected.
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 43

Like family estrangement, the causes of stronger family ties after the death of a loved

love remain unknown, and further research is necessary to identify the causal factors. The same

goes for the dual changes in dynamics that happened with P7. Family is an immediate social unit,

and since social support can facilitate a person’s grieving experiences, a positive familial

environment may benefit the bereaved individual. Identifying the causal factors that affect the

changes in family dynamics (i.e., estrangement or stronger ties) may be useful and significant for

the field.

Discussion
Research Question 1

The qualitative data analysis yielded several themes that best described Filipinos’

grieving and bereavement experiences and how they are coping with the loss of their loved ones.

In terms of the first research question (i.e., how are Filipinos grieving the death of loved ones

under the restrictions of the COVID-19 pandemic?), the analysis revealed that there are affective,

behavioral, and cognitive components happening within the bereaved individual during their

bereavement period. Differences in family dynamics were also observed after the death of a

loved one.

Affective Components

Affective components refer to the emotions and emotional reactions stemming from a

person’s bereavement experiences during this pandemic. The participants in this study have

guilts, regrets, and resentments. Most of them grieved alone, experienced episodes of disrupted

mood, and felt the absence of presence of their loved ones during special moments (e.g.,

birthdays and holidays).


GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 44

Due to the physically and socially isolating pandemic, the grief process of the bereaved

individuals was affected. The bereaved participants suffered grieving alone. Bereaved people

were “forced” to grieve alone due to social distancing, travel restrictions, and self-isolation

(Selman et al., 2021). The participants were physically isolated from their families because of

quarantine protocols, while others were socially isolated, brought on by their complicated grief.

Because of their grief, they also tend to experience episodes of disrupted moods. Uncertainty and

social distancing change people’s behaviors, impacting their feelings, daily habits, and social

relationships, which are core elements of human well-being (Boursier et al., 2020). Because of

these occurrences, the participants found it hard to accept the reality of losing their loved ones.

This led them to feel the absence of the presence of the deceased.

In addition to mourning over potential health scares or fatal outcomes, many are already

grieving the anticipated losses of major milestones or events, such as graduations, family

reunions, and weddings (Bertuccio & Runion, 2020). They also find it difficult to fill in the roles

of the deceased in their lives. Whenever they think of them, they often feel guilt and regret.

There may be regret over the missed opportunity to “be there” in those final moments. (Breen,

2020) The unbearable pain of loss caused the bereaved families to feel resentment. Resentment

no longer refers to the recall of sentiments in general but only to negative sentiments relating to

grievances, injuries, patterns of unfair treatment, and more generally unjustified harsh treatment

at the hands of others. Even with this specification, resentment remains a complex emotion,

which has been hypothesized to be a tertiary emotion with the primary components of anger,

surprise, and disgust, and the secondary components of outrage (anger & surprise), contempt

(anger & disgust), and shock (surprise & disgust; TenHouten, 2018).
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 45

Behavioral Components

The behavioral component in the context of this study is defined as the bereaved

individual’s behaviors and actions affected by the death of a loved one during the COVID-19

pandemic. They find it even harder to deliver the news regarding the death of their relatives. The

health protocols prohibited their actions, and they experienced a lack of contact and not seeing

the deceased after death pronouncement. These behavioral restrictions made their grieving

emotionally and mentally more challenging. These reinforced the feelings of confusion and

shock that stemmed from not being able to have any closure on the death of their loved one by

not seeing them one last time.

The restrictions caused by the pandemic hindered people from seeing their family,

relatives, and friends who live far and miles away. This pandemic also caused casualties in

which bereaved people could not see their loved ones forever. Because of these instances, lack of

contact and not seeing the deceased after death pronouncement happens to people. This lack of

contact at the time of death, often combined with the sudden and unexpected nature of COVID-

19 deaths, intensified the sense of loss and pain. Death experiences were described as

“traumatic,” depicted as “nightmares,” and were associated with severe anxiety and feelings of

panic. The inability to visit or say goodbye left many people with intense sadness and guilt that

they could not be there to comfort and support their relatives (Torrens-Burton et al., 2022). The

sudden death of a loved one leaves the bereaved individuals shocked.

To be a bearer of this bad news to family and friends is difficult. The bereaved person did

not know how to deliver the news. According to Reed et al. (2015), delivering bad news is a

source of considerable stress. Telling a death pronouncement reminds them of their loss and

pain. Furthermore, they also feel confused upon learning about the death of their loved ones
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 46

because they are not allowed to see their corpse due to the prohibition caused by the pandemic.

Others’ guilt was tied to how COVID-19 restrictions impacted their loved ones’ end of life: not

being there for their loved one in the last moments of life, not being able to visit before their

loved one died, or attending the funeral. Some guilt continued to evolve with the pandemic:

being forced to socially distance, unable to travel, making decisions based on vaccinations, or

being prohibited from typical end-of-life environments (e.g., hospitals and nursing homes;

Scheinfeld et al., 2021)

Cognitive Components

Along with affective and behavioral components, the sample population universally

experienced many cognitive components. These refer to the thought processes, state of mind, and

pattern of thinking that arise from the experiences of bereaved individuals during the COVID-19

pandemic.

Participants experienced unexpected death. According to Field & Filanosky (2009), the

experience of someone not seeing their loved ones before they pass away makes it hard for the

bereaved person to rationalize what happened. This pattern of events can place someone in a

position wherein they will find it hard to accept the situation. The participants also experienced

denial. Fernandez & Falcon (2021) state that, in mourning, the bereaved person can be stuck at it

if they never had the chance to bid goodbye or even see the corpse. This happening can result in

searching for their loved ones.

One of the observed behaviors, when someone is grieving is difficulty concentrating

(O’Connor & Frances, 2019). The participants experienced this wherein they went mind-

blanking. They lose their conscious awareness. Not seeing their loved ones’ corpses after dying

made it impossible to go through a grieving process (Worden, 2009). Thus, participants were
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 47

forced to accept what happened. They have this mindset that “it is what it is.” Everything is not

under their control. During the pandemic, the grieving process of the mourners was affected.

They do not immediately start the grieving process because this setup is relatively novel to them

(Fernandez & Falcon, 2021). Hence, there was also a delay in realization.

Family Dynamics

Differences in family dynamics—the patterns of emotional and social interactions with

other family members and relatives—were observed after the death of a loved one. Family

estrangement is relatively common among the samples; they became emotionally and physically

distant from other family members. In contrast, stronger family ties were also found among the

participants; after their relatives passed away, they spent more time with their families, and they

better understand each other now. The antecedents of this discrepancy in terms of family

dynamics remain unknown and are beyond this study’s scope and purpose.

As the basic unit of society, a family has undergone many changes following the death of

a loved one. In the present study, dealing with grief and bereavement could either build a

stronger family unit or cause the loss of the existing family relationship, leading to estrangement.

Participants stated that some family members became emotionally and physically aloof and

distant from each other after the death. It includes isolating themselves to deal with the grief

alone. Studies about family estrangement suggested that cross-generational detachment is a

reasonably prevalent phenomenon in later-life families (Gilligan & Pillemer, 2021). Individuals

who isolate themselves from their loved ones to overcome their grief may experience emotional

distress or feel disconnected, contributing to the deterioration of physical and mental health

(Cacioppo et al., 2015; Killgore et al., 2020; as cited in Walsh, 2020).


GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 48

Contrary to family estrangement, most participants affirmed that relationships between

family members became stronger after losing their loved ones. As the need to follow the

COVID-19 health protocols, families have no choice but to stay at home and spend time doing

things together, which magnifies family participation and engagement in one’s life (Azarian,

2020; as cited in Ahmed et al., 2020). In the present study, participants stated that following the

death of their loved ones, they had a chance to spend more time together, leading to a better

understanding of one another and rebuilding a stronger emotional attachment towards each other

while memorializing and reminiscing the memories of the dead.

Research Question 2

Regarding the second research question (i.e., how are Filipinos coping with losing a

loved one during the COVID-19 pandemic?), the analysis revealed that bereaved people used

many different coping mechanisms during their bereavement period. They also received different

forms of social support from their environment.

Coping Mechanism

The participants were very resilient, optimistic, and had positive attitudes. Coping

through reminiscing and revisiting mementos of the deceased were common among the sample.

They also find humor as a way to cope with the loss, and they often make themselves busy or

become productive to distract themselves from what happened.

Reminiscing can help a person relieve their stress. It can also produce positive feelings

and enhance the well-being of a person (Speer & Delgado, 2019). The participant copes with the

loss by reminiscing whenever they miss their loved ones; it fills the void they feel. Keeping

mementos in memory of loved ones dates back to 2000 years ago; the belongings of their loved
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 49

ones hold an emotional power (Buster, 2021). When the pandemic hits us, the bereaved person

kept some of their loved ones’ things. This behavior helped them to cope with the situation.

Furthermore, according to Griggs (2020), humor can be used as a coping mechanism, but

this should be used correctly. As Filipinos, we are known to be good jokers. Even when the

participants were grieving, they used humor as a coping mechanism. Being resilient also helps an

individual become better at dealing with stress in the future; it is coping positively with adversity

(Skodol, 2010). In this situation, the participant used this as a coping mechanism in order for

them to move forward and not let the situation affect their whole lives. Another coping

mechanism that the participants used was making themselves busy and being productive. While

this may sound good because it means they are continuing their usual thing, according to Henry

(2015), keeping oneself busy might only work short-term. It does not guarantee that the

participant will fully recover from grieving. Lastly, bereaved people are typically optimistic and

have positive attitudes. Optimism has two correlated concepts: the inclination toward hope and

the belief that we live in “the best of all possible worlds” (Conversano et al., 2010). Participants

shifted their mindset to positive; instead of being sad, they chose to become optimistic.

Social Support

Social support—the external assistance bereaved individuals receive to facilitate their

grief and bereavement—helped them during difficult times. However, many forms of social

support are observed within the sample population. Stronger family ties and being with

significant others are interpersonal relationships that make the bereaved person feel not alone in

managing their experiences. Good communication between family members or significant others

helps deal with and overcome traumatic experiences like death.


GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 50

Interestingly, not only did they receive social support, but they also became one to their families.

They can emotionally grasp what people are feeling, work out things from their perspective, and

place themselves in their shoes. Social support from social media was also common; it became

an extension, a large platform to remain connected with people and provide help and support to

bereaved individuals.

During a socially isolating phenomenon where there is a need to connect and reconnect

with others, social support from various sources (e.g., families, friends, and social networks) has

been beneficial in facilitating and mitigating the complicated grief process of the bereaved

individuals. Studies suggest that family members, friends, coworkers, and neighbors are typical

sources of social support, which may take many forms (e.g., emotional, informational,

instrumental; Aoun et al., 2018). Previous studies postulated that psychological resources such as

perceived social support remarkably alleviate complex grief and bereavement (Cao et al., 2020;

Schwartz et al., 2018; Vegsund et al., 2019). It should be noted that participants of the study

stated that these relationships served as a foundation on whom they could rely in situations like

losing a loved one. According to Bottomley et al. (2017), social support acts as a buffer system

against psychosocial distress by lowering bereavement manifestations and facilitating

psychological adaptability following the death of a loved one.

Participants stated that family members, who act as the first line of social support, played

a significant role in dealing and coping with their grief because they share the same experiences

and battle the same situation. Bereaved participants understand what other family members are

dealing with better than anyone else. Qualitative studies by Brunelli et al. (2016) found that

social support plays a crucial role in adjusting to life following the death of a loved one.
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 51

Participants of the present study noted that reconnecting with and reaching out to other grieving

family members and friends has been beneficial in facilitating their grief.

In today’s digital world, social media has been a big part of our daily lives; it has become

a bridge to connect further or stay connected with other people. Intimate connections and

physical comfort obtained from interpersonal relationships are the sorts of social support most

closely linked with positive mental health outcomes (Yao et al., 2015). However, due to the

restriction of COVID-19, there has been a limit on physical and face-to-face contact with the

bereaved. The participants stated that emotional support messages they received from their peers

on social media made them feel that they were not alone. Social media, in general, became an

extension to offer social support bereaved who needed to accommodate the physical and

emotional demands following the death.

Conclusion

The components under the “Psychological Facet” are interrelated dimensions that

bereaved people go through during their grieving process. It was somehow similar to the idea of

the ABC Model of Attitude used by many social psychologists to understand human beings’

subjective realities. The death of a loved one is the core event that impacts this mechanism.

Specifically, cognitive components stemmed from how they perceived the death of their

relatives, and this aspect also tells us about the mental state of a bereaved person throughout their

grieving process. Whatever their cognitive components are, those definitely affected how they

felt during those challenging situations. This was the time when the affective components came

into the picture. Their emotions were based on how they perceived their situations; the feelings

and emotions are subjective and relative from person to person. Furthermore, their emotions and

thoughts also affected how they acted, behaved, and responded to the situation.
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 52

Indeed, this mechanism is a vicious cycle; each element intensifies and aggravates one

another and will only worsen their condition. If not appropriately facilitated, this might even

result in the development of complicated grief, just like what is depicted in the conceptual

framework of this study. Fortunately, bereaved people have adaptive capabilities that help them

cope with their challenges. Their coping mechanisms took care of any problematic psychological

elements for them to adapt to the situations successfully. By doing so, the person unconsciously

catalyzed their own adaptive coping.

In addition, social support, especially emotional comfort, can be received from various

sources such as families, close personal relationships, friends, or others. Dealing with grief can

be challenging without these social connections and can make people vulnerable to physical and

mental health risks. Indeed, good communication and staying connected with people who can

offer support and assistance play a significant role in overcoming psychological distress and

traumatic experiences. Moreover, disconnection with family members who can supply emotional

support in trying times can lead to further mental health problems. The absence of emotional

connection and physical distancing from families can aggravate the situation and result in severe

emotional pain and distress. However, families who spend their time together and share their

thoughts and feelings are said to have a stronger emotional bond. It can facilitate the

development of a solid partnership between family members that can gratify the style of people’s

affective demands.

In conclusion, there are psychological and sociological facets involved in the experiences

of bereaved individuals during this pandemic. A multidimensional view of their situations is

crucial for us to fully understand and comprehend the entirety and very nature of their

experiences. People need to acknowledge these multifaceted experiences in all decisions and
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 53

actions that will affect the grieving people themselves. All the knowledge presented in this study

will help craft policies, psychosocial interventions, programs, and treatments that will benefit the

concerned population.

Experiencing the death of a loved one is painful. If there are things that we can do to

alleviate the situation of a grieving person, we must do it immediately, knowledgeably, and

cautiously. We must never forget the phrase that Nora McInerny once said, “we do not move on

from grief; we move forward with it.”

Limitations

The study was conducted during the pandemic and encountered several restrictions.

Because of strict protocols, data gathering was only conducted through online interviews and

telephone calls. This may be an issue as there is a significant difference in participants answering

questions in person than answering via telephone communications/online platforms.

Another limitation of the study is time constraints. Although the study provided results

about the effect of the pandemic on bereaved people, it can still be expanded upon greatly. It can

be said that some participants are still in mourning, and thus their grief is still fresh. This grief

can affect their answers to the researchers’ questions. By having more time to measure the

relationship between the pandemic and the grievances of bereaved people, a more in-depth result

can be garnered from the study. Some participants also tend to give short answers about their

experiences in grieving during the pandemic.

Lastly, the scope of the study only focuses on the effect of the COVID-19 pandemic

among bereaved Filipinos; it is thus limited to Filipino culture only.


GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 54

Recommendations

Participants of this study encountered significant mental shock from the traumatic event,

which may be one of the antecedents of their denial, mind-blanking, and delayed realization.

Nevertheless, further research is needed to validate the causal relationship between

unexpected/sudden death and the said effects (i.e., denial, mind-blanking, and delayed

realization).

Furthermore, differences in family dynamics were also observed after the death of a

loved one. The antecedents for this discrepancy remain unknown and are beyond this study’s

scope and purpose. Thus, future research should focus more on identifying the factors that lead

to these differences.

Indeed, grieving is relative from person to person. However, when dealing with complex

emotions like grief, the bereavement period must be considered to limit the potential factors that

might affect the analysis—specifically, a shorter bereavement period when sampling for

potential participants is more appropriate and fitting. Nevertheless, upholding ethical standards

in all decisions is still a must. Given an existing problem, it may be better not to do something, or

even do nothing, than to risk causing more harm than good.

Moreover, because of the nature of the pandemic and its strict protocols, the researchers

recommend that future studies conduct data gathering via face-to-face interviews rather than

telephone communications and online platforms. This methodology can gather more data and

provide an expanded result as the researchers can take note of the participant’s nonverbal

communications, which can benefit the study.

Lastly, the results of this study are significant in many ways. Nevertheless, replication of

this study is encouraged to establish its reliability and generalizability. Using samples from a
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 55

different culture, a shorter or longer bereavement period, and a different data gathering

procedure are the few things future researchers may change. A more in-depth face-to-face

interview process with multiple sessions is highly recommended to gather more important data.
GRIEVING DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC 56

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Appendix

Certificate of Instrument Validation


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