Before you read this text, you should know that:

• it's a poem, written by a 4th-generation Chinese-Canadian trans woman, with the speaker talking about the debate over who counts as a "woman" and what the meaning of "woman" is, particularly in Chinese context
• Sojourner Truth, who's quoted at the beginning, was an African-American abolitionist (anti-slavery activist) most famous for "Ain't I a Woman?" (which the poem riffs off of), a fiery speech she gave at a women's rights
convention in 1851 in which she lambasted the white women's rights activists present for viewing slavery as "not a women's problem," hence Truth's demand that they recognize her womanhood as a Black woman
• "ah-ma"--Chinese way of addressing mother; "heng haa" = ancestors; "jeje" = big sister; "moimoi" = little sister; "jook sing zhai" = Westernized son

when is a woman?
n?
And ain't I a woman? I have borne thirteen children, and seen them most all sold off is that when you became a woma
she d,
to slavery, and when I cried out with my mother's grief none but Jesus heard me! And was it when the blood first g u

ain't I a woman? thick,

-Sojourner Truth like a river from the old land,
babbling like the ghosts of the h
enghaa
dear mama, from inside you?
you said you wanted to know or was it when you
. what it is i am learning in this universit y married baba,
scarred
upon which you have spent so much bloo d, sweat,· . when your belly grew round and
and money (we must not forget money, never as the moon,
i split
forget money, of course, mama) wh en jeje, the n me, the n moimo
so i cou ld get a good j ob you in two
and earn a respec table living on our way to the wo
rld,
and find a decent wife is it being br o ken ,
and raise two or three healthyhappychildren smashed like the tide
and t ake care of you in you r old age swallowed like the moon
ld
you said you wanted to hiow, ah-ma, plowed and sown like a rice fie
that makes a w o ma n?
well: what hands of what clock
today, in my fem-in-izz-em class, hold the secret of you?
, mama
a white lady asked and were you a woman any less
what is a woman when you raged aga inst

and anot her white lady your time?

ile str ugglmg at school,
said does the transsexual working waitress night shifts wh
r
threaten the woman when your feet blistered and you
to which the first replied joints ached,
om you,
butwhat is the woman did work steal any femininity fr
usy , did ser v ing ,
and the second said did anger, did jealo
tes at rest aur an tables you couldn t
your white schoolma
t
not a man
and she looked at me afford to sit at,
were you any less a woman then?
mama, when is a woman? when your face wrinkled,
with milk
did you become one when your breasts sagged, heavy
tast e, i stil rem ember)
(a bitter and hopeful
l
when you were born and pronounced a girl,
stolen by a white man doctor from what was your gender , ah- ma ?
your mot her's red-stained yellow c unt, and mother, was i, your son
r
as though stealing a pearl from the darkest Orient, destined to boyhood, to be you
f he stars
staring between your infant legs, jook-sing zhai by the light o t

52 53
that led our ancestors here, of men who grabbed,
was i a woman when struck
at four, i crept into your bedroom stole
to try on your plastic pearls, tore
roam in the closet forest of your dresses the sun moon stars can tell you
was i a woman when i was a woman, washed in dew
i begged to be dressed like my sisters, the morning after
to be rid of my penis, wasn't i a woman ma
to dance ballet, the nights they chased me
· the nights they spat at me
to sing,
the nights they called me an animal
to be loved,
animal animalanimal
when i begged you to love me,
what was i then, ah-ma?
wasn't i ·a woman
was i a girl when when they said i wasn't fit to do work for them
you taught me respect for women's minds, wasn't i a woman
for the battles you fought in medical school, when they said the only work for me
what was i when you shrieked and screamed and threatened and wailed was selling my body
for one missed word on a spelling test and even that
THINK OF YOUR FUTURE would fetch a low price (we must not
a)
HOW CAN YOU BE SO UNGRATEFUL forget money, never forget money, of course, mam
AFTER ALL I'VE DONE FOR YOU wasn't i a woman then?
wasn't it woman's blood i bled?
is it sacrifice that makes a mother
is it suffering that makes a woman i bled
is it sacrifice we bled
suffering
sacrifice mama,
suffering? can you tell me,
when am i
ah-ma,.the cold stars of the northern skies a woman?
are my witness, love,
i was girl, a virgin, when your son
at thirteen years old
i first dreamed of loving a man
and awoke, drenched in salt, sticky with heat,
mother, Thom, Kai Cheng. “When Is a Woman?” A Place Called No Homeland.
the night can testify Arsenal Pulp Press, 2017. 52-55.
i was a woman in the arms
55
54