NEGOTIATION SKILLS USED IN COUNSELLING

INTRODUCTION
What is negotiation:

Through negotiation, two or more parties (or organisations) can settle a disagreement
or find a better solution without making a compromise. By using negotiation, both sides can
reach a satisfactory agreement without having to argue. Each party in a negotiation seeks to
convince the other to accept their point of view. All parties concerned attempt to prevent
conflict through negotiation while agreeing on a compromise. A variety of groups can use
negotiation in a variety of contexts, such as when shopping at a market and trying to get the
best deal, when two startups are trying to merge their organisations, or when two
governments are trying to reach a peace accord. You might engage in wage or sales talks at
work in the course of a typical day. Even in your personal life, negotiation tactics can be a
useful tool for managing and resolving conflicts. In order to start a conversation and get the
client ready for the shift, negotiating can also be utilised in counselling.

Negotiation theory:

Negotiation is a technique used to resolve conflicts. It is a method for coming to a

compromise or agreement without conflict or controversy. People naturally want to get the
best result for their viewpoint (or even the organisation they represent) in any disagreement.
Fairness, pursuing mutual advantage, and preserving a relationship are the cornerstones of a
good outcome, though.

Conditions of Negotiation Theory

Before the principles of negotiation theory may be used, the following requirements must be
met:
● First, it is assumed that everyone engaging in discussions is logical and intelligent in
the usual way.
● It is also assumed that these parties will make an effort to reach an agreement and that
they truly do want to do so.
 ● Last but not least, it is typically assumed that each person is trying to advance the
greatest possible outcome for his or her own interests.

In numerous contexts, such as international relations, the legal system, government, labour
disputes, and interpersonal interactions, certain forms of negotiation are used. The good news
is that everyone can learn and use broad negotiation skills in a variety of situations. The
ability to negotiate with others can be very helpful in settling any conflicts that may develop.

Stages of Negotiation

Following a planned strategy to negotiate may be helpful to reach a desired result. For
instance, it could be necessary to schedule a meeting where all parties concerned can attend
in a professional setting.

The process of negotiation includes the following stages:

1. Preparation
2. Discussion
3. Clarification of Goals
4. Negotiate towards the win win outcome
5. Agreement
6. Implementation of a course of action

● Preparation
In a nutshell, reparation in negotiations refers to planning out all of the key
arguments you'll make in advance. For instance, ignoring a crucial negotiation or just
winging it are sometimes not the best options. According to a study, the best negotiators are
those who are actively involved in the negotiation preparation process throughout. That's
what it really means to give the other side enough time to consider their best options and
wants while simultaneously giving yourself plenty of time to analyse the situation and
formulate your viewpoints. Additionally, before engaging in any sort of negotiation, a
decision should be made regarding who will host meetings, when they will occur, and where
all issues will be raised. Additionally, a time frame should be established, such as a deadline,
after which the preparation for the negotiation process will begin.
 ● Discussion
In this phase, people or members of each side present the case as they
understand it, that is, how they perceive the circumstances. The ability to clarify, listen, and
ask questions are crucial at this phase. Asking questions here will inevitably assist in
removing the uncertainties of the asker, and the person leading the process or speaking on the
other side will learn what sorts of questions and doubts the other person has. Contrarily,
listening is one of the most crucial activities throughout any meeting because it allows you to
learn a tonne of information and gain a deeper understanding of the arguments being made.
Clarification is also more crucial when discussing the negotiations and talks that took place
here. Because it works on both sides, the person who asks questions about the meeting gets a
clearer understanding of their perspective and thought process after receiving an appropriate
response.

● Clarification of goals
The conversation must make clear the objectives, pursuits, and points of view
of the opposing parties. It is useful to rank these considerations in that order. It is frequently
possible to find or develop some common ground through this clarification. Without
clarification, misconceptions are likely to happen during negotiations, which could create
issues and make it more difficult to arrive at a favourable conclusion.

● Negotiate towards a Win Win situation

The term "win-win" refers to an arrangement in which both parties perceive
their gains as positive and believe that their opinions are valued highly and taken into
account. Typically, a win-win outcome is the optimum outcome. The ultimate objective
should be to achieve this through negotiation, even though it might not always be practicable.
At this point, suggestions for alternate tactics and concessions must be taken into account.
Compromises are frequently constructive options that, when contrasted to sticking to one's
initial stance, can frequently result in more benefit for all parties involved.

● Agreement
Once the interests and points of view of both parties have been taken into
account, agreement can be reached. Everyone involved must maintain an open mind in order
to come up with a workable solution. Any agreement must be crystal clear in order for both
parties to understand what has been negotiated.
 ● Implementation of the course of action
A course of action must be taken in accordance with the agreement to carry
out the decision.Strategic planning and action planning are further used to carry out the
course of action.It's common to assume that only a select few people are capable of strategic
thinking. The concepts of "strategy" and "strategic thinking" have somehow taken on a
mysterious air. On the other hand, everyone with leadership aspirations needs to have the
ability to think strategically.Making your strategy and goals into action is done through action
planning. planning how to put your concepts into practice.

● Failure to agree
Scheduling a new meeting is necessary if the negotiation process fails and an
agreement cannot be reached. This prevents an argument or discussion between all parties
that would waste time and potentially harm future relationships.Additionally crucial and
highly successful in situations where an agreement cannot be reached are mediation skills.An
impartial third party assists people engaged in a conflict in reaching a resolution through
mediation. Mediation and negotiation are fundamentally different from one another since
during a negotiation, the parties involved come to their own agreement. They have the
assistance of the mediator, a neutral party, in mediation to assist them in reaching an
agreement.

Steps for improving the negotiation process and skills

Negotiate the process: Here, do not assume that the person you are negotiating with
is exactly on your side; in fact, they might not be. Therefore, it is always preferable to plan
ahead with regards to how you will negotiate as well as your agenda for the meeting, the
topic matter, the time it will be conducted, etc.

Establish a rapport: Making small conversation while negotiating about any topic
related to any type of project is not always possible. Although you and your opponent may
work better together, small talk may not be possible because it will disrupt the meeting and
ultimately cause the project to be disturbed. Making the material in the meeting highly
subjective and in-depth is therefore crucial for developing a good rapport with your
counterparts or your clients.
 Actively listening requires very accurate hearing so that the person you are speaking
to can tell if you are paying attention or not. The other individual will learn more about your
interpersonal skills from this.

Pose sensible queries:By posing numerous queries with a high likelihood of

receiving enlightening responses, you can advance your integrative bargaining efforts. Avoid
using leading questions like, "Don't you think that's a great idea?" and other affirmative or
negative statements. Instead, formulate open-ended queries like Can you tell me about the
issues you're encountering this quarter? that invites in-depth answers.

Look for wise tradeoffs: Every time you negotiate with your parties, the topic of
pricing always comes up throughout the discussion. In situations like this, you should always
capitalise on your presence and set prices and pricing techniques that are trustworthy and
accommodate both parties' financial circumstances. In particular, look for concerns that your
opponent values highly but that you do not. Then suggest that you give in on that point in
exchange for her giving in on something you hold dear.

Be mindful of the anchoring bias: Research suggests that the first number
mentioned in a negotiation, no matter how random, has a significant impact on the
subsequent negotiations. By making the first offer (or offers) and attempting to steer the
conversation in your chosen direction, you can prevent becoming the next victim of the
anchoring bias. If the other side does anchor first, keep your goals front and centre, pausing
to think about them as necessary.

simultaneous presentation of multiple equal offers (MESOs). Consider submitting

multiple proposals at once as opposed to just one. Ask your opponent to explain which one he
likes most and why if he rejects them all. Then, either work alone to make the offer better or
try to come up with a mutually agreeable solution with the other party. Presenting several
offers at once lessens the likelihood of a deadlock and may encourage more original answers.

Consider a contingent agreement. Because they disagree on how a specific scenario

will develop over time, negotiators frequently become stuck during negotiations. In such
circumstances, consider putting forth a contingent contract, which is essentially a wager on
how events will pan out.
 Plan for the implementation phase: Setting milestones and deadlines in your
contract to make sure that commitments are being kept is another method to increase the
long-term durability of your agreement. Throughout the duration of the contract, you might
also agree in writing to meet on a regular basis to check in and, if necessary, renegotiate. It
can also be a smart idea to include a dispute-resolution language that requires the use of
arbitration or mediation in the event of a dispute.

Practise Negotiation Techniques

● A key managerial activity is negotiating. As people frequently engage in informal
domestic and other agreements, it is also a life skill.
● The processes involved may be studied, and abilities can be deliberately cultivated,
thus negotiation is not a magical art. While it is true that some people are more
naturally talented than others, developing one's natural talent frequently requires
learning.
● The majority of learning will occur through experience, although, like with most
skills, the learning process can be sped up through formal training, reading, and
coaching. A higher level of skill development may result from these additional
learning strategies.
● The most crucial role that negotiations and its abilities play is in management and the
marketing industries.
● Managers appear to be required to negotiate more and more frequently. While dealing
with labour unions is typically easier than it was when they had more clout,
negotiations are getting more regular and challenging in many fields.
● Organisational structures need to be revised more frequently due to the accelerating
pace of change. This may entail going over business agreements as well as negotiating
with staff members about shifting how they perform their duties. Failure to do so
could threaten an organisation's very existence.

Our facilitator divided us into groups of two and instructed us to perform a negotiation-based
role play in which we played both clients and counsellors. And asked us to provide them with
goal setting using negotiation.
STATED PROBLEM 1: Difficult to build up conversation

DISCLOSURE
Counsellor: Hello, Welcome to our session. I am your therapist. Are you comfortable? Can
we start our session now ?
Client: Hi, Yes, I am feeling comfortable.
Counsellor : Good, okay then. I will go ahead with the session. Could you please tell me
something about yourself ?
Client : I actually don't mingle with people easily, I find it difficult to develop a conversation.
Counsellor : Is it the same thing with your closest people ?
Client : I often feel this only with strangers or any new people I'm talking to.
Counsellor : I can understand that you were upset and felt bad about it. But, Why do you
think you find it difficult to develop a conversation?
Client : Hmm, maybe by What if the other person judges me, feel that i'm boring , due to
which i overthink a lot.
Counsellor : Okay…. What do you think you can do to overcome this?
Client : Uhm… maybe try developing conversation with my close people and then slowly
start conversing with a new people
Counsellor: That's a good idea? Can you please tell me about the feeling that you have while
conversing with a new person?
Client: Well, I am feeling so insecure that what if they feel i am a boring person, just because
i am not able to initiate the conversation, the conversations automatically becomes awkward
when i try to develop the conversation
Counsellor: I can understand that you are feeling insecure and judged. Can you tell me more
about what has been causing you this feeling?
Client: It's mostly because I'm not being a good company or not able to set the vibe with
them.
Counsellor: That sounds difficult. Can you tell me more about the feelings?
Client: Because of having these insecurities and judgement iam not able to talk freely with
other people.
 EXPLORATION AND GOAL SETTING

Counsellor: I understand that you are finding it difficult to develop a relationship. Can you
tell me more about your relationships with your family members and peers?
Client: My relationship with my family is good, With my peers, I'm friendly and I have a few
friends whom i am very close to and i mostly used to be only with themselves
Counsellor: I see. It sounds like you might be feeling bad for not being able to maintain a
relationship. Can you tell me more about how you've been coping with your stress recently?
Client: Well, I just tend to use my phone in order to show myself busy or else i sleep when
i'm feeling bad
Counsellor: That sounds like you're a bit worried about not being able to negotiate . Can you
tell me more about what's been getting in the way of you taking steps in order to overcome?
Client: I just give up easily and am not able to look into the solutions. No matter i develop
conversation there is going to be no change
Counsellor: I see. It sounds like persistence is a barrier for you. Can you tell me more about
your thoughts about yourself in relation to your solution?
Client: I just feel like I'm not good enough.
Counsellor: That sounds like it must be really frustrating for you. Have you experienced this
before?
Client: Yeah, this has been a problem for me for as long as I can remember.
Counsellor: Okay, let's work together to come up with some goals to help you manage your
insecurities and be persistent. How do you think we can get started on that?
Client: I'm not really sure. I would like to be able to manage my communication skills and
not feel insecure.
Counsellor: Great, those are two great goals. Let's work together to come up with a plan to
achieve those goals. How about we start with identifying specific skills to be developed and
put them in day to day life
Client: Okay, I think that could be helpful.
Counsellor: Perfect. Let's also explore some coping techniques that can help you manage
your insecurities. How does that sound?
Client: That sounds like a good idea.
Counsellor: Okay, our goals for this session will be to identify specific skills, put them in
day to day activities , and explore relaxation techniques. Does that sound okay to you?
Client: Yes, that sounds great.
 ACTION PLAN

Counsellor: Alright, let's get started. It sounds like you're feeling stuck. Let's talk about some
strategies that might help you get started on your work. Have you tried developing
conversations with your best friend when you are out of topic?
Client: No, I haven't really thought about that.
Counsellor: Starting developing smaller conversions with your best friend will help to
negotiate with strangers. For example, instead of thinking about talking about serious and big
topics, I could talk about some trending things that make a big discussion.
Client: That makes sense.
Counsellor: Okay. Now, let's talk about how we can help you break down your insecurities.
What are some things you enjoy doing that make you feel relaxed and more at ease?
Client: I love taking walks in nature, spending time with my friends , and listening to music
Counsellor: Great. So, for your next goal, let's aim to incorporate at least one of those
activities into your daily routine. It can be as simple as taking a 10-minute walk during your
lunch break, listening to music 15 minutes before bed. The important thing is to prioritise
self-care and make time for activities that bring you joy and help you feel more balanced.
Client: That sounds like a great idea. I think I can definitely make time for those things.
Counsellor: I'm glad to hear it. Work on these goals and let's discuss them at your next
appointment.
Client: Sounds good. Thanks.
Counsellor: Absolutely. We can schedule regular appointments where we review your
progress, reassess your goals, and make any necessary adjustments. Remember, goal-setting
is a process, and it's important to be flexible and willing to adjust as needed.
Client: Okay, that all makes sense to me. Thank you so much for your help.
Counsellor: You're welcome. I look forward to working with you towards managing your
stress and procrastination.
STATED PROBLEM 2: Procrastination

DISCLOSURE

Counsellor: Hello, Welcome to our session. I am your therapist. Are you comfortable? Can
we start our session now ?
Client: Hi, Yes, I am feeling comfortable.
Counsellor : Good, okay then. I will go ahead with the session. Could you please tell me
something about yourself ?
Client : I am xyz. In recent days Procrastination has become a major problem to me and I am
not able to complete my tasks on time.
Counsellor : why do you think you procrastinate ?
Client : I tend to procrastinate when I have too many deadlines. At the same time I feel tired
and I don't wanna do it.
Counsellor : I can understand that you are upset and feel bad about it. But, what do you think
is your trigger point to procrastinate?
Client : Hmm, maybe I still have time to complete and can start a little later and complete.
Counsellor : Okay…. What do you think you can do to overcome this?
Client : Uhm… maybe starting an assignment early and ending it a little earlier might work
and so i can also finish my work effectively.
Counsellor: That's a good idea? Can you please tell me about the feeling that you have while
you procrastinate?
Client: Well, i feel like i'm wasting my lots of time in social media and tv series, so that i am
not getting motivated to do the work and so i procrastinate
Counsellor: I can understand that you are feeling less motivated. Can you tell me more about
what has been causing you this feeling?
Client: It's mostly because I constantly procrastinate my work and i don't do it on time
Counsellor: That sounds difficult. Can you tell me more about the feelings?
Client: Because of procrastinating I am not able to complete my work on time, due to which i
get anxiety and not able to focus on the work.
 EXPLORATION AND GOAL SETTING

Counsellor: I understand that you are finding it difficult not to procrastinate. Can you tell me
more about your daily routine?
Client: My usual routine is to wake up and help my mom on the house hold and then do
some of my college work. Getting ready for college and after going home from college i
usually use my phone or watch any series. The routine changes according to the days.
Counsellor: I see. It sounds like you might be feeling bad for not being able to maintain a
proper routine. Can you tell me more about how you've been coping with your anxiety
recently?
Client: Well, I used to stress eating and I lost my focus on the work.
Counsellor: That sounds like you're a bit worried about not being able to focus and
distraction . Can you tell me more about what's been getting in the way of you taking steps in
order to overcome?
Client: I think the only hindrance i have now is i am easily distracted and not able to
concentrate on the work that i'm doing
Counsellor: I see. It sounds like distraction is a barrier for you. Can you tell me more about
your thoughts about yourself in relation to your solution?
Client: I just feel like I'm not giving my best to do the task and I feel like I'm taking it for
granted.
Counsellor: That sounds like it must be really frustrating for you. Have you experienced this
before?
Client: Yeah, I have already faced this before but in recent days i have started to postpone the
daily activities which is really making me feel bad.
Counsellor: Okay, let's work together to come up with some goals to help you manage your
procrastination behaviour. How do you think we can get started on that?
Client: I think I could work on my schedule for the day to make it more productive with my
fav activities.
Counsellor: Good job we have some clarity on the goal that we have to work on. Let's work
together to come up with a plan to achieve those goals. How about we start with identifying
specific activities that you would like to do everyday.
Client: Okay, I think that could be helpful.
Counsellor: perfect, let's explore some of the schedules that we could work on or make some
personalised every day routine
Client: That sounds like a good idea.
Counsellor: Okay, our goals for this session will be to identify specific unique routines, put
them in day to day activities , and explore relaxation techniques. Does that sound okay to
you?
Client: Yes, that sounds great.

ACTION PLAN

Counsellor: Alright, let's get started. It sounds like you're feeling confused and don't know
where to start. Let's talk about some strategies that might help you get started on your work.
Have you ever tried to put a to-do list in the morning and try to complete them?
Client: Yeah i have thought about it, but i havent started that yet.
Counsellor: Starting doing a to-do list that might really help you to keep motivated for
completing the work. And also striking out all the works that are done will give a satisfaction.
Client: That makes sense.
Counsellor: Okay. Now, let's talk about how we can help you with anxieties. What do you
usually do when you feel anxious?
Client: I like to take walks and i usually or mostly workout in order to burnout
Counsellor: Great. So, for your next goal, let's aim to incorporate at least one of those
activities into your daily routine. It can be as simple as starting your day with a work out of
309 mins and getting freshen up. Now you can focus on your work that you have to do for
sometime and then get ready for your college.
Client: That sounds like a great idea. I think I can definitely follow this for my routine.
Counsellor: I'm glad to hear it. Work on these goals and let's discuss them at your next
appointment.
Client: Sounds good. Thanks.
Counsellor: Absolutely. We can schedule regular appointments where we review your
progress, reassess your goals, and make any necessary adjustments. Remember, goal-setting
is a process, and it's important to be flexible and willing to adjust as needed.
Client: Okay, that all makes sense to me. Thank you so much for your help.
Counsellor: You're welcome. I look forward to working with you towards managing your
anxieties and procrastination.
GOALS NEGOTIATED
Prioritise : To make a to-do list and prioritise the list in order to complete the works without
procrastinating
Relaxation activities : Practice of relaxation techniques like deep breathing or progressive
muscle relaxation to help reduce your stress levels and anxiety levels.
Schedule routines : Help her to schedule her routines in order to complete her works
without any distractions.