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1.

The fish listened intently to what the frogs had to


say.
2. It was the first time he had ever seen someone cook

dinner on an elephant.
3. Twin 4-month-olds slept in the shade of the palm

tree while the mother tanned in the sun.


4. There aren't enough towels in the world to stop the

sewage flowing from his mouth.


5. I was very proud of my nickname throughout high

school but today- I couldn’t be any different to


what my nickname was.
6. People generally approve of dogs eating cat food

but not cats eating dog food.


7. You bite up because of your lower jaw.

8. You can't compare apples and oranges, but what

about bananas and plantains?


9. Buried deep in the snow, he hoped his batteries

were fresh in his avalanche beacon.


10. I may struggle with geography, but I'm sure I'm

somewhere around here.


11. She says she has the ability to hear the soundtrack

of your life.
12. I currently have 4 windows open up… and I don’t

know why.
13. Mothers spend months of their lives waiting on

their children.
14. There is no better feeling than staring at a wall with

closed eyes.
15. Nobody loves a pig wearing lipstick.
16. At that moment I was the most fearsome weasel in

the entire swamp.


17. He found rain fascinating yet unpleasant.

18. She only paints with bold colors; she does not like

pastels.
19. The light in his life was actually a fire burning all

around him.
20. You're good at English when you know the

difference between a man eating chicken and a


man-eating chicken.
21. I'll have you know I've written over fifty novels

22. Karen realized the only way she was getting into

heaven was to cheat.


23. I ate a sock because people on the Internet told me

to.
24. Trash covered the landscape like sprinkles do a

birthday cake.
25. Erin accidentally created a new universe.

26. When I cook spaghetti, I like to boil it a few

minutes past al dente so the noodles are super


slippery.
27. I always dreamed about being stranded on a desert

island until it actually happened.


28. Be careful with that butter knife.

29. His thought process was on so many levels that he

gave himself a phobia of heights.


30. The minute she landed she understood the reason
this was a fly-over state.
31. She wanted to be rescued, but only if it was

Tuesday and raining.


32. Courage and stupidity were all he had.

33. Joyce enjoyed eating pancakes with ketchup.

34. Watching the geriatric men’s softball team brought

back memories of 3 yr olds playing t-ball.


35. Strawberries must be the one food that doesn't go

well with this brand of paint.


36. Jeanne wished she has chosen the red button.

37. The rain pelted the windshield as the darkness

engulfed us.
38. I only enjoy window shopping when the windows

are transparent.
39. He was surprised that his immense laziness was

inspirational to others.
40. The furnace repairman indicated the heating

system was acting as an air conditioner.


41. The efficiency with which he paired the socks in the

drawer was quite admirable.


42. He walked into the basement with the horror movie

from the night before playing in his head.


43. He dreamed of eating green apples with worms.

44. A dead duck doesn't fly backward.

45. Gary didn't understand why Doug went upstairs to

get one dollar bills when he invited him to go cow


tipping.
46. She found his complete dullness interesting.
47. He was an introvert that extroverts seemed to love.

48. He uses onomatopoeia as a weapon of mental

destruction.
49. Separation anxiety is what happens when you can't

find your phone.

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