I've Started So I'll Finish: Good Reasons To Stick With Bad Books - and Other Lessons in Resilience

I’ve started so I’ll finish
Good reasons to stick with bad books – and other

lessons in resilience
Edmund Dudley
Budapest, 23 August 2018
Frustrating experiences
a delayed last-minute
a boring book
flight cover
2 Edmund Dudley
The fruits of frustration
• Feeling of being stuck

• Feeling of injustice
• Feeling of apprehension and
gloom
• ...ready to hit someone?

road rage is “the quintessential
example of misspent energy” –
Sam Harris
3
Road rage
Edmund Dudley
Angry? You’re too optimistic!
According to the Stoic philosophers, anger and frustration are

caused by having expectations which are too high
“We will cease to be so angry once we cease to be so

hopeful”
Alain de Botton The Consolations of Philosophy
4 Edmund Dudley
When rain is forecast, there are four
options
Which one would you advise?
• Accept it
get an umbrella
• Ignore it
get soaked
• Escape it
get away
• Rage about it
get an ulcer
5 Edmund Dudley
The problem with holidays
How do you get away from yourself?
“It seems we may best be able to inhabit a place when we are

not faced with the additional challenge of having to be there.”
Alain de Botton The Art of Travel
6 Edmund Dudley
Lessons in resilience
1/7
I can’t get away from myself.
7 Edmund Dudley
Getting used to ourselves
Concerning ourselves with what we can control
Under Our Control Not Under Our Control

Our thoughts Everything else
Our actions
Epictetus Enchiridion
(paraphrased in Derren Brown Happy)
8 Edmund Dudley
2/7

I can only control my thoughts and my actions.
9 Edmund Dudley
At the time – and thinking back
Experience and memory
• Experiencing self
- in-the-moment sensations of experience
- transitory
• Remembering self
- how we experience events retrospectively
- permanent, influential
Daniel Kahneman – Thinking, Fast and Slow

10 Edmund Dudley
Remembering pain
Which two of the three factors below influence how we look

back on a painful experience (e.g. a medical procedure)?
Which factor has no effect on our memory of the experience?
Duration of Peak pain-

End pain-level
pain level
11 Edmund Dudley
3/7

If I have some control over how I experience an event, I
can change the way I will remember it.
12 Edmund Dudley
Why suffer?
“Pain is inevitable.
Suffering is optional.”
Haruki Murakami - What I Talk About When I Talk About

Running
13 Edmund Dudley
Back to School 
How are you right now (this minute)?
How was the last school year?
The new school year is about to begin.
How do you think will you look back on it this time next year?
The Past The future

14 Edmund Dudley NOW
How important is the present moment?
• Is it a narrow segment of our overall experience?

• Or is it all we have?
The Past The future
memory NOW anticipation
15 Edmund Dudley
Looking back on next year
Remember when Hermione Granger managed to be in two

places at once in Hogwarts?
We can’t go back in time

But we can bridge time in another way:
Using the present moment to shape future memories
16 Edmund Dudley
What did Dumbledore say to Harry?
Was he right?
choices Harry,
It is our ________,
that show what we truly are,
far more than our abilities.
Harry Potter and the Chamber

of Secrets
17 Edmund Dudley
4/7

If I have some control over how I experience an event, I can
change the way I will remember it.
My choices matter more than my abilities.
18 Edmund Dudley
The Harry Potter books
What are they actually about?
a) The power of magic?

b) Wizarding techniques?
c) Hardship, sacrifice, courage,
love?
19 Edmund Dudley
JK Rowling’s legacy
What her characters teach us
• Life is a constant struggle – against ourselves

• Human qualities are more powerful than any magic
• The finest people are full of doubts and insecurities...
• ...they also value friendship, loyalty, courage, sacrifice and
learning
• There are no shortcuts for study and hard work
• Good teachers leave you with more questions than
answers
• We should probably read more
20 Edmund Dudley
Reading survey
Part 1
• When in your life did you spend the

most time reading?
• Did you read more when you were
twenty or do you read more now?
• What accounts for the differences?
• Would you like (ideally) to spend
more time reading?
• Why (not)?
21 Edmund Dudley
Reading survey
Part 2
You’re reading a book. After about 50 pages you realise that

you’re not enjoying it.
What do you do?
a) Stop reading it and start a new book

b) Come back to it later (next month, next year...)
c) Read it through to the end
Why?
22 Edmund Dudley
Reasons to finish the books you start
Here are the difficulties: Here are the solutions:
• I’m not enjoying it • Don’t read to enjoy;

read to read
• I’m tired • Just five pages
• I’m distracted • Airplane mode
• There’s no time • Read instead of ...
• I’m afraid of failure • This is about choices,
not abilities
23 Edmund Dudley
Reasons to finish the books you start
The Peak-End Rule in action
• Experiencing Self vs Remembering Self
When you give up on a bad book:

Experiencing self: feels impatient/annoyed/judgemental
Remembering self: feels dissatisfied (with book + self!)
When you persevere with a bad book:

Experiencing self: feels challenged/self-conscious
Remembering self: feels worthy/stronger
24 Edmund Dudley
5/7

If I finish all the books I start, I’ll think harder about my
choices, feel better about my reading – and read more.
25 Edmund Dudley
Grit
The importance of effort
Two components:
passion (staying focused)
perseverance (bouncing back from setbacks)
talent x effort = skill
skill x effort = achievement
Angela Duckworth Grit

26 Edmund Dudley
6/7

When perseverance leads to success, it becomes a habit
27 Edmund Dudley
Frustrating experiences?
“for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking
makes it so” Hamlet
This book is really boring! 

In 10 pages, there will only be 15 pages left in the
chapter!
I can’t believe the stupid flight is delayed! 

What’s the best way to spend the next four hours?
Not again! 
Time try out some of those activities from the OUP
intensive course!
28 Edmund Dudley
7/7

When perseverance leads to success, it becomes a habit.
Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.
29 Edmund Dudley
References
Brown, D (2016) Happy

de Botton, A (2002) The Art of Travel
de Botton, A (2000) The Consolations of Philosophy
Duckworth, A (2016) Grit
Kahneman, D (2011) Thinking, Fast and Slow
Murakami, H (2007) What I Talk About When I Talk About
Running
Rowling, JK (1998) Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Sam Harris on road rage: https://samharris.org/podcasts/the-

lessons-of-death/
30 Edmund Dudley
I’ve started so I’ll finish
Good reasons to stick with bad books – and other
lessons in resilience
Slides here:
Edmund Dudley
Budapest, 23 August 2018 legyened.edublogs.org
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I’ve started so I’ll finish

Good reasons to stick with bad books – and other

• Feeling of being stuck

• ...ready to hit someone?

According to the Stoic philosophers, anger and frustration are

“We will cease to be so angry once we cease to be so

How do you get away from yourself?

“It seems we may best be able to inhabit a place when we are

I can’t get away from myself.

Under Our Control Not Under Our Control

I can’t get away from myself.

Daniel Kahneman – Thinking, Fast and Slow

Which two of the three factors below influence how we look

Which factor has no effect on our memory of the experience?

Duration of Peak pain-

I can’t get away from myself.

Haruki Murakami - What I Talk About When I Talk About

How are you right now (this minute)?

How was the last school year?

The new school year is about to begin.

The Past The future

• Is it a narrow segment of our overall experience?

The Past The future

memory NOW anticipation

Remember when Hermione Granger managed to be in two

We can’t go back in time

Harry Potter and the Chamber

I can’t get away from myself.

a) The power of magic?

• Life is a constant struggle – against ourselves

• When in your life did you spend the

You’re reading a book. After about 50 pages you realise that

a) Stop reading it and start a new book

Here are the difficulties: Here are the solutions:

• I’m not enjoying it • Don’t read to enjoy;

• Experiencing Self vs Remembering Self

When you give up on a bad book:

When you persevere with a bad book:

I can’t get away from myself.

talent x effort = skill

skill x effort = achievement

Angela Duckworth Grit

I can’t get away from myself.

This book is really boring! 

I can’t believe the stupid flight is delayed! 

I can’t get away from myself.

Brown, D (2016) Happy

Sam Harris on road rage: https://samharris.org/podcasts/the-

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