CAH Family SmallCards

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How to make your own

Cards Against Humanity:


Family Edition
Download this PDF and print it at home. You can
use regular white paper, or heavy white cardstock
if you have any.

The cards are black and white, so don’t worry if


you don’t have a color printer.

Cut the cards along the lines using scissors or an


ancient katana. The more precisely you cut the
cards, the easier they’ll be to handle later. If you
use a katana, we recommend the traditional
jōge-suburi overhead strike.

You're done!
Cards Against Humanity:
Family Edition Rules
Cards Against Humanity: Family Edition is a fill-in-the-blank party game. Each round,
one player asks the group a question from a black card, and then everyone answers it
with their funniest white card.
To start the game, everyone should wash their hands with soap for 20 seconds and
then take ten white cards. The player who most recently pooped begins as the Card
Czar and draws a black card.
The Card Czar reads the black card out loud. Everyone else then answers the
question (or fills in the blank) by passing one white card, face down, to the Card Czar.

The beautiful Climbing into a


potato. cow’s butt.
I don’t really Unleashing a Literally ruining
know what my hell demon that my life.
mom’s job is, will destroy our
but I think it has world.
something to do
with ___________.

The Card Czar then shuffles all the white cards and re-reads the black card out loud
with each one. Finally, the Card Czar picks the funniest combination, and whoever
played it gets one point.
After the round, a new player becomes the Card Czar, and everyone draws a new
white card to replace the one they just played.
When you’re done playing, tell your parents how much you loved Cards Against
Humanity: Family Edition — available this fall at participating Target locations for the
unbeatable price of $25!
Papa, come Attention students! I’m sorry, Jordan, The warm August
quickly! There, Principal Butthead is but that’s not air was filled with
in the garden! at home recovering an acceptable change. Things
Do you see _____? from _____________. Science Fair were different,
Tell me you see it, We hope he’ll project. for Kayla was now
Papa! be back soon. That’s just _______. ________________.

This is gonna be Coming soon! Class, pay close Hey Riley, I’ll give
the best sleepover Batman vs. attention. I will you five bucks if
ever. Once Mom ________________. now demonstrate you try _________.
goes to bed, it’s the physics of
time for _________! ________________.

Time to put on My dad and I enjoy Hey, kids. MY NAME


my favorite t-shirt, _________________ I’m Sensei Todd. CHUNGO.
the one that says together. Today, I’m gonna
“I heart ________.” teach you how to CHUNGO LOVE
defend yourself ________________.
against _________.

Never fear, Kids, Dad is Oh, no thank There’s nothing


Captain _________ trying something you, Mrs. Lee. better than a
is here! new this week. I’ve had plenty of peanut butter
It’s called “_____.” _________________ and _____________
for now. sandwich.

And over here is The aliens are here. They call me CHUNGO
Picasso’s most They want ______. “Mr. ___________.” FEEL SICK.
famous painting,
“Portrait of _____.” CHUNGO NO LIKE
_________________
ANYMORE.
Mom!? CNN breaking On the next Alright, which one
You have to come news! Over half episode of of you little turds
pick me up! of Americans are Dora the Explorer, is responsible for
There’s __________ now ____________. Dora explores _______________?!
at this party! ________________.

Ladies and And in the blue Outback Ew. Grandpa


gentlemen, corner, weighing Steakhouse: smells like ______.
I have discovered in at 280 pounds, No rules.
something amazing. it’s Tommy “_____” Just ____________.
I have discovered Takahashi!
________________.

My name is Peter Put on your Attention students! What’s about to


Parker. I was bitten helmet, strap This is Principal take this school
by a radioactive on your goggles, Butthead reminding dance to the
you that we do not
spider, and now and get ready next level?
allow _____________
I’m _____________. for _____________! in the hallway.
Thank you.

Little Miss Muffet All I want for Me and my friends We’re not
Sat on a tuffet Christmas is don’t play with supposed to
Eating her curds ________________. dolls anymore. go in the attic.
and ____________. We’re into _______ My parents keep
now. _________________
in there.

Police! My favorite When I pooped, I’m not like the


Arrest this man! dinosaur is what came out other children.
He’s ____________. “_______asaurus.” of my butt? Toys bore me,
and I don’t care
for sweets.
I prefer _________.
I’m sorry, Oh Dark Lord, Thanks for We’re off to see
Mrs. Sanchez, we show our watching! If you the wizard, the
but I couldn’t finish devotion with a want to see more wonderful wizard
my homework humble offering vids of __________, of ______________!
because of of ______________! smash that
________________. subscribe.

What’s all fun Young lady, Welcome! We’re My favorite book is


and games we do not allow glad you’re here. The Amazing
until somebody _________________ Now sit back, Adventures of
gets hurt? at the dinner table. relax, and enjoy ________________.
________________.

Well, look what ENOUGH! Rub a dub dub, Madam President,


we have here! I will not let _________________ we’ve run out of
A big fancy man _________________ in a tub! time. The only
walkin’ in like he’s tear this family option is ________.
________________. apart!

I have invented a Hey, check out my Moms love ______. Where do babies
new sport. I call it band! We’re called come from?
“___________ ball.” “Rage Against
_______________.”

CHUNGO ANGRY. At school, I’m just James Bond It’s BIG.


Mandy. But at will return in It’s SCARY.
CHUNGO summer camp, “No Time for It’s _____________!
DESTROY _______. I’m “_____ Mandy.” _______________.”
Disney proudly What really killed Beep beep! Now in bookstores:
presents: the dinosaurs? _________________ Nancy Drew and
“_________ on Ice.” coming through! the Mystery of
________________.

You don’t love Did you know One nation, The easiest way
me, Sam. All you that Benjamin under God, to tell me and my
care about is Franklin invented indivisible, twin apart is that
________________. ________________? with liberty and I have a freckle
_________________ on my cheek and
for all. she’s ___________.

Hey guys. I just Whoa there, Princess Marigold, Shut up, Becky!
want to tell all my partner! Looks like the kingdom At least I’m not
followers who are _________________ is in danger! ________________.
struggling with spooked my horse. You must stop
________________: ________________.
it DOES get better.

I lost my arm in a Isn’t this great, Foolish child! Girls just wanna
________ accident. honey? Just you, Did you think you have ___________.
me, the kids, could escape from
and ____________. ________________?

Run, run, as fast New from Mattel, No fair! How Bow before me,
as you can. it’s _______ Barbie! come Chloe gets for I am the Queen
You can’t catch me, her own phone, of ______________!
I’m _____________! and all I get is
________________?
New from Hasbro! I don’t really Our day at the Charmander has
It’s BUNGO: The know what my water park was evolved into
Game of ________. mom’s job is, but totally ruined ________________!
I think it has by _____________.
something to do
with ____________.

What killed Next from What’s keeping Boys? No.


Old Jim? J.K. Rowling: Dad so busy ____________? Yes!
Harry Potter and in the garage?
the Chamber of
________________.

ME HUNGRY. Oh, that’s my Guys, stop it! Huddle up, Wildcats!


ME WANT ______. mom’s friend Carl. There’s nothing They may be bigger.
He comes over funny about They may be faster.
But we’ve got a
and helps her ________________.
secret weapon:
with ____________. ________________.

Coming to theaters I do not fight Come on, Danny.


this holiday season, for wealth. All the cool kids
“Star Wars: The I do not fight are doin’ it. Wanna
Rise of _________.” for glory. try _____________?
I fight for _______!
A big wet kiss from A cloud that A pirate with Athena,
Great Aunt Sharon. rains diarrhea. twoUnpeg arms,
pirata con Goddess of
Un beso baboso de two peg legs,
brazos, piernas y Wisdom.
Atenea, la diosa
Una nube que
la tía abuela
llueve diarrea. and a peg
cabeza head. de
hechos de la sabiduría
Sharon. clavos

Baby boomers. Beautiful Grandma.


Abuela hermosa. Defecating
Hacer popó onen
the
el Eight
Ochohours of de
horas
neighbor’s lawn.
patio del vecino. video games.
jugar
videojuegos.

Going night-night. Hanging


Pasar elout
rato con Kissing
Darle unMom beso a Me, your dad.
A mimir. Yo, tu papá.
with Zendaya.
Zendaya. on the
mamálips.en los
labios.

Playing
Tocar trumpet
trompeta Ratzilla. Teeny Popós
tiny turds. That there
forpara
the el
Mayor.
alcalde. chiquiticos. tarantula.

The way Grandpa Three


Tresglasses
copas de Whatever Dadque
Lo que sea Getting shot out
Ser lanzado por
El olor del abuelo
smells. of redvino
wine.
rojo does
papáathace
work.en el of a cannon.
un cañon.
trabajo.
Jesus. Eating
Comerpasta
pastaout
de A burrito smoothie.
Un batido de A bear.
of my pants.
mis pantalones. burritos.
Una cerveza.

Old people.
Viejitos. MyElsister’s
estúpido Stuffing
Rellenarmy
mi ropa Stinky Martha,
La olorosa Martha,
stupid boyfriend.
novio de mi underwear
interior con the superhero that
el superheroe que
hermana. withpancakes.
pancakes. nobody
a nadielikes.
le gusta.

MyMichainsaw.
motosierra. Diarrhea.
Diarrea. Boogers.
Mocos. The La
police.
policia.

Sniffing a dog’s Horrible


Alergias allergies.
horribles. Your face.
Tu cara. A
Ungerbil
jerbonamed
llamado
Oler el trasero de
butt. “Gerbil.”
“Jerbo”.
un perro.

Fartus Magnimus,
Pedorro máximo, Rated-R stuff. Blowing up Getting launched
Ser lanzado al
Explotar la Luna.
God of Beans.
el dios de los the Moon. into space.
espacio.
frijoles.
Likes. A bird
Unpooping
pájaro Chungo,
Chungo,the
el gorila The wayme
Como I feel
siento
on the president’s
haciendo popó en talking gorilla.
hablador. when I seeveo
cuando Kyle.
a
head.
la cabeza del Kyle.
presidente.

Hot gossip. Forgetting to put


Olvidarse de usar Running full speed The Russians.
Correr a toda Los rusos.
Chisme bueno. on ropa
underwear.
interior. into a wall. contra
velocidad
una pared.

A black hole. Putting mytrasero


Poner mi butt Racism,
Racismo,sexism,
sexismo Making
Hacer the a las
enojar
Un agujero negro. on stuff.
en cosas. andy homophobia.
homofobia. bees angry.
abejas.

My strong,
Mi fuerte y A Democrat. TikTok. Cheeto fingers.
terrifying daughter. Un demócrata.
aterradora hija.

A huge honkin’
Una zanahoria The country My parents. Idiots.
carrot.
gigantesca. of Bolivia.
Bolivia. Mis papás. Idiotas.
Filling
Llenarmymibutt
trasero Putting
Poneran una
apple in Thousands Climbing into
Escalar al a
trasero
with spaghetti. a little boy’sen
mouth Miles
of de lasañas.
lasagna. cow’s
con espaguetti. manzana la de butt.
una vaca.
and roasting him
boca de un niño y
for dinner. para la
rostizarlo
cena.

WarGuerra
with Canada.
con Mashing a China. Shrek.
Espichar un
Canadá. banana
bananointoenyour
tu
bellyombligo.
button.

Cavities. Eating people. Butts of all shapes A 40-piece


Caries. Comer personas. Traseros de todas 40 trozos de
andlas
sizes.
formas y Chicken
nugest de pollo.
tamaños. McNuggets.

Climate change. Barf. A poop as bigtan


Un popó AUn
couch
sofá that
que come
Cambio climático. Vomitar. as Mom. eats children.
grande como niños.
mamá.

Going to Hell. The loose skin A horse with sin


Un caballo FatUn
stacks of cash.
montón de
Ir al infierno. at the joint of the no legs. dinero.
piernas.
elbow known as
“the weenus.”
Dora the Explorer.
Dora la Illegal drugs. BULBASAUR. Dad’s meatloaf.
El pastel de carne
Exploradora. Drogas ilegales. de papá.

Extra-warm Pepsi. The old man Calling 9-1-1. a


Llamar Spending
Pepsi tibia. El anciano con el Gastar el dinero
with the rake
rastrillo que vive emergencias. my
porparents’
el que tanto
who lives down
en el camino hard-earned
trabajaron mis
the darkyand
oscuro curvado. money.padres.
winding road.

Toe jam.en un dedo


Golpe Hot lava.caliente.
Lava Butt surgery.
Cirugía de trasero. Freeing
Liberarall
todos los
del pie. theanimales
animals del
fromzoológico.
the zoo.

A bountiful harvest Bombs. Boobies. Respecting


of squashes and Bombas. Respetando el
personal
corns. espacio personal.
boundaries.

Having noniidea
No tener idea de John Wilkes Booth. Getting married.
Casarse. Politics.
Politica.
what’s going
que esta on.
pasando.
Garbage.
Basura. Naked
Gentepeople.
desnuda. This
Estestupid
juegogame.
tonto. Biting a richaperson.
Morder una
persona rica.

Screaming at birds.
Gritar a pájaros. Getting
Quedarse stuck
atorado Getting crushedpor
Ser aplastado Huge pants.
Pantalones
in en
theeltoilet.
sanitario. by a piano.
un piano. enormes.

Mom’s
La spaghetti.
pasta de mamá. AnUn gato
old, viejo,
dirty cat A corn dog. My
Misfollowers.
seguidores.
sucio y con mal
with bad breath.
aliento.

Principal Butthead. A statue


Una of de un
estatua AUntiny detective
mini detective Joining
Unirse the army.
al ejército.
a naked guy.
tipo desnudo. who solves
que resuelve mini
tiny crimes.
crímenes.

Witchcraft.
Brujería. Taking out Sacrificing
Sacrificar al tío Moving to Ohio.
Sacarme los ojos.
my eyeballs. Uncle Tim.
Tim.
A hundred A wise old woman Emotions. Ham.
screaming with no teeth
monkeys. and cloudy eyes.

Clams. Spider-Man. Drinking out of Trying to catch


the toilet and that dang raccoon.
eating garbage.

Slapping my The doll that Money. LeBron James.


huge belly. watches me sleep.

Father’s forbidden Me. Salmon. Screaming the


chocolates. F-word.

A whole thing of Crab-walking Mayonnaise. Total world


cottage cheese. from the toilet domination.
to get more
toilet paper.
Failure. JoJo Siwa. Getting kicked Farting and
in the nuts. walking away.

Sharks with legs. Triangles. Ninjas. The floor.

The whole family. Bench pressing Spiders. Uranus.


a horse.

A Republican. Giving wedgies 14 cheeseburgers, Big Randy.


to my haters. 6 large fries, and
a medium Sprite.

Blasting my Dreaming Taking a dump Crying in the


math teacher about boys. in the pool. bathroom.
into the sun.
Happiness. Poison. My sister’s hair A scoop of tuna.
all over the place.

Doing karate. Hades, Lil Nas X. Dad’s famous


God of the poops.
Underworld.

Squirty cheese. My girlfriend, Mowing the Slapping that butt.


who goes to stupid lawn.
another school.

Questioning Chugging a Farting a lot today. Going bald.


authority. gallon of milk and
then vomiting a
gallon of milk.

Germs. Nuclear war. Barfing into a A cursed llama


popcorn bucket. with no eyes.
The wettest fart Shaving Overthrowing the Murdering.
you ever heard. Dad’s back. government.

Exploding. Bleeding. The oppressive Supreme


system of Court Justice
capitalism. Ruth Bader
Ginsburg.

A long, hot pee. Throwing up A balloon filled The dishes.


double peace signs with chili.
with my besties
at Starbucks.

The freedom Egg salad. Mom’s friend, Rich people.


of speech. Donna.

Pirate music. Being a dinosaur. A fake kid made Homework.


out of wood.
Batman. A dead body. Drinking a whole Destroying
bottle of ranch. the planet.

Living in a Pizza. This pumpkin. Extremely tight


pineapple underpants.
under the sea.

A nice, warm glass Poseidon, Complaining. Bursting into


of pee. Lord of the Sea. flames.

Spawning sheep. My whole Big, juicy pimples. The humble


body getting earthworm.
big and strong
and beautiful.

The garbage man. A big, and I mean Your mom! The octopus
BIG turtle. stuck to my face.
Dying of old age. Smashing the Screaming into a Grandpa.
patriarchy. can of Pringles.

Shutting up. Silence. My annoying My future husband.


brother.

A hot air balloon Sitting on the toilet A screaming Cocktail weenies.


powered by and going poop. soccer dad.
fart gas.

The British. Voldemort. Science. Picking my nose


and eating it.

Having a A dead whale. Fortnite. The power of


really big head. the Dark Side.
Big butt cheeks My friend Steve. Violence. Magic:
filled with poop. The Gathering.

Eating toenail Using balloons My dang kids. Squeezing a lemon


clippings. as boobies. into my eye.

Tombus, the Greta Thunberg. Ellen. Uncle Bob.


talking rhombus.

Outback Dwayne A baby with Getting hit


Steakhouse. “The Rock” a full mustache. in the face with
Johnson. a soccer ball.

Eating a whole roll The bacon. The first female Falling off
of toilet paper. president of the a mountain.
United States.
Person milk. Pink eye. Pork. The government.

Nunchucks. Nothing. GOOOAAALLLL!!! Mom’s new haircut.

Happy daddies with Giggling and Ice pee. Obama.


happy sandals. farting and
slurping
milkshakes.

Twerking. Reading my sister’s The ice cream man. Love.


diary.

Stank breath. Living in the Having a baby. Shoplifting.


dumpster.
My father, The dentist. Aunt Linda. One tough mama.
who is a walrus.

Releasing Literally ruining Flushing myself Fire farts.


the falcons! my life. down the toilet.

Lice. A killer clown. Blossoming into Wiping my butt.


a beautiful
young man.

Saying mean stuff Beyoncé. A truck. Only beans.


and making people
feel bad.

The beautiful Legs. The woman I’m Unleashing a


potato. going to marry hell demon that will
one day. destroy our world.
Feminism. Lighting stuff Turning 40. Getting a
on fire. skull tattoo.

An invisible giant A cowboy who is The longest tongue Josh.


who takes giant, half boy, half cow. in the world.
visible poops.

Locking Mother Ariana Grande. Puberty. A glorious beard.


in the pantry.

All of my teeth Floating through Farting, barfing, Flamin’ Hot


falling out. the void of space and passing out. Cheetos.
and time.

Snakes. Free ice cream, yo. Screaming and Running away


screaming and from home.
never waking up.
Using my butt Glen’s fabulous Gluten. Wakanda.
as a microwave. body.

Many wolves. One long hair A butt that eats Poo-poo.


growing out of underwear.
a mole.

Mooing. Robbing a bank. Punching How much wood


everyone. a woodchuck
would chuck
if a woodchuck
could chuck wood.

Swords. Kevin’s mom. Getting scalded Chest hair.


in the face with
hot beans.

My annoying sister. Getting slapped Harry Potter. Peeing sand.


with a fish.
Being French, Guacamole. Getting naked. A super angry cat
hoh-hoh-hoh! I found outside.

Slappy Spatchy, A pregnant person. A bunch of Grandma panties.


the game where dead squirrels
you slap each other on a trampoline.
with spatulas.
Learn more at
www.SlappySpatchy.com.

Thick, nasty burps. Having no bones. Famous peanut Saving up my


scientist George boogers for
Washington ten years and then
Carver. building the world’s
largest booger.

The president. A hug. The Dark Lord. Being super serious


right now.

Freeing a fart from An order of Fake news. The baby.


its butt prison. mozzarella sticks.
Like a million Big, slappy hands. Beer. Spit.
alligators.

The fifth graders. Licking a goat. A flamethrower. Drama!

Old Jim’s Going to the Sitting atop a pile Girls.


Steamy Butt Sauce. emergency room. of tuna, like some
kind of tuna queen.

A Pringle. Never showering. Naptime. The gym teacher.

Coming back Burning books. Falling in love. Tossed salads and


from the dead. scrambled eggs.
Building a ladder Practicing kissing. Eating a lightning Slowly turning
of hot dogs bug to gain its into cheese.
to the moon. lightning powers.

Whispering Ear wax. Knives. Stuff.


secrets to my
best friend,
Turkey.

Taking a selfie. Dancing with Punching a guy Nipples.


my son. through a wall.

Cat pee. Dump cake. Billie Eilish. Steven Universe.

Elegant party hats. Santa Claus. The gluteus Baby Yoda.


maximus.
Peeing in the cat’s A big sad dragon A big whiny Seymour Butts.
litter box. with no friends. cry-baby.

The bus driver. Getting run over Spinning and Some freakin’
by a train. barfing. privacy.

Butt hair. Having many Making the Coffee.


husbands. bathroom smell.

Anime. The sweet honking Pooping in a bag Space lasers.


of Karen’s bassoon. and lighting it
on fire.

Being dead. Pooping barf FOOOOD Wearing


forever. FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!! high heels.
A long, long snake. Getting trampled The babysitter. The lunch lady.
by horses.

Peeing on my Not wearing pants. Meatballs, Finding Waldo.


poopy. meatballs,
meatballs!

Going around The divorce. Diaper beans. Cigarettes.


sniffing people’s
armpits.

Getting my Looking into Sucking at life. Crossbows.


ponytail stuck people’s windows.
in my butt.

Evil. A big rock. Rubbing lotion on Goblins.


a hairless cat.
Nasty Tongue kissing. Abraham Lincoln. Covering myself
Cousin Amber. with ketchup
and mustard
because I am
hot dog.

Hot, fresh doodies. Feet. Sadness. Going beast mode.

An owl that A doll that pees A naked lady Chunks.


hates you. real pee! in a painting.

Some weird guy. Getting a girlfriend. Falling in love with Throwing stuff at
a hot dog. other stuff.

Hogs. A turd that The entire state Showing everyone


just won’t flush. of Texas. my butt.
My big donkey The huge, Math. Pee-pee.
brother. stupid moon.

Dinner. Butthole. Smelling like Being fake.


onions.

Peer pressure. Peeing in my Bad parenting. Mom’s butt.


backpack.

One weird lookin’ You. Boys. Sitting on a cake.


toe.

Teaching a chicken The middle finger. A bra. Being famous


to kill. on YouTube.
Cream. Balls. Having no friends. Peeing into
everyone’s mouth.

Gluing my butt How school slowly A Pokémon named True love’s kiss.
cheeks together. breaks your spirit “Jim.”
and drains your
will to live.

Total crap. Cool sunglasses. Literally dying from Snot bubbles.


the smell of a fart.

Doing crimes and This goat, Aliens. School.


going to jail. who is my friend.

A cow. The terrible winter Getting sucked Not breathing.


of 1609. into a jet engine.
Licking a used Braiding my Waking up inside Blasting farts in the
band-aid. armpit hair. of a spider web. powder room.

Having to pee
so bad.

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