1

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right©ThandoMkhi
ze2020

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lri
ght
sreser
ved2020

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icat
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ecor
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thout
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sherorAuthor

~MESSAGEFROM THEAUTHOR~

"Iwouldli
ketofi
rstthankany
onewhohast akent
hetimetor
eadmyi maginati
onandalsomy
newl
yfoundpassi
on.Thi sist
hefi
rstbookIhavewri
tt
enandmadeitpubl
iclyknown.Hopeyou
asareaderenj
oythismealofwor
dsasmuchasIenj oyedwri
tt
ing.Onceagainthankyou!
"

2
*
INTRODUCTI
ON*

"
ebumnandi
nii
l
aph'
ongi
thol
akhona!ebumnandi
nii
l
aph'
ongi
thol
akhona!"

ohmygodDocshebel ezaismakingmydaywi t
ht hi
sj am ,Iam r
oll
i
ngmyheadbackandf orth
wit
hav i
rgi
ncocktail
inmyhand.Ikeepont akingsmal lsi
pssoIwon' tneedt hebathroom t
oo
muchandst ar
ingovertot hewil
dcrowdinfrontofme.Theseol dschool heroesaremyt hi
ng,
notthesefastGqom songsbydest ruct
ionboys.Il i
kei tsl
owandsoot hi
nglikekwaitoanddeep
house, aboLiqui
ddeep, theyaretoomyf av
our i
te.Princekaybeegetsme, itsfastbutsoot
hing
andhast hatchil
l
ingvibeIneed.Ineedt owhenl i
sterningtothesekindofmusi ct otakeme
backandt akemet othef utur
e.

"
sist
erbet
hina,
hibi
ri!si
dlubushabet
huHi
bir
i,si
dlubushabet
hu!
"

t
hecr
owdst
art
stogowi
l
d,Imeanwhowoul
dn'
t,Iknowi
tai
n'
tmet
oni
ght.

"hibi
ri,
ar r
gmganiwhyubor
aso?it
sapar
tymosandy
ouar
eher
esi
tt
ingdownl
i
kesomeone
diedory ouar
emissi
ngsomeone?"

t
ryAmandasayi
ngthati
natimeli
ket
his,
sheknowst
hatIam notapartyani
mal
likeherand
Mandl
a,(t
heecoupl
e)theyusual
l
ydr
agmetotheset
hingsandIjustsi
tandmer
lywatch.

3
Iam halfwaydownmyf i
rstgl
assandt
hat'
stheonl
yglassIwi
llhav
etoni
ght,Ihaveapr
essi
ng
urgetogot othebat
hroom soIputmyglassdownandstandupwalki
ngtowardsAmandaandI
whisperinherear.

"iam goingtot hebathroom Mngani "Ishoutinherearandshesi gnalsat humbsup.Imakemy

wayupt hestairsi
ntothebat hroom andclosethedoorlocki
ngit.Ibr eathinandoutbef ore
doingmybusi ness,Ifl
ushandl ookatmy selfi
nthemirr
or.Istil
ll
ookgood, justli
kewhenI
came. myphoner ingsandIt akeitoutofmybagandi tsthealar
mi ndicati
ngIhav etol
eave
now, Ihav estayedlongenough.Idi sarmitandIwashmyhandsbef oreunlockingt hedoor.I
wal koutandgodownt hestairswhil
ecall
ingmycab( aka)myneighbour, Igetoutoft hehouse
andshesay sshei sfi
vemi nutesawaysoIwai tandsendamessaget oAmandast ati
ngIhave
l
ef t.iknowshewon' tseeitti
llmorningassheiswithMandla.finallymyl if
tar r
ivesandIgeti
n.

"thanky ouSiyo"Isayandshesmi les.shedoesn'ttal

kmuchandIal soshutmybi gpiehol
eup.
wear riv
eatt hehoodandIgetof fathome, IleaveR100billevent houghIknowi twasmyl ast
andcl oset hedoor,Iwalkinandi t
sdark.Itakemykey soutandunl ockthenIgeti nandcl
ose.
shamepoorNt ombi ,Iwi
shtowor khardandmakeabet t
erlif
eformyl i
ttlecousin.shemov ed
i
nwi t
husl astyearafterwefoundherst ar
vedf ordaysbyhermot her.Iki sshercheekassheis
l
ay ingont hewornoutcouchandgot omyr oom ,whichisthekitchenal so.wel iveinathr
ee
roomedhouseandi tswasbuiltbygogof orus.Itakeoffmyshoesandj usttakethemattr
ess
from behindt hefr
idgeandsleepr i
ghtaway.Iam t ooti
redforany thing.

4
I
NSERTONE

"Hey,
HeyNont
ombi
vuka!(wakeup!
)ar
en'
tyougonnabel
atef
orwor
k?"

irubmyey essl
owlyasi tr
ytogainmystregnt
hcausethi
ssleephasmehooked.Ilookatmy
grandmotherst
andingtherelooki
ngatmenephini
faandhandsonherhi
ps.Ntombi i
seati
ngher
porri
ageontherockytableinacheermode.Whowouldbecheerfuli
nsuchastatewel i
vein,
thatski
dsforyouandthat'swhatilov
emostaboutli
tt
leNtombi,asl
ongassheeat ssheis
happy.

"
Gogo?
"

Gr
an:
"hehLandi
swav
uka,
arey
ouf
ir
edf
rom wor
k?,
lor
dpl
easel
ett
hisnotbet
hecase."

shesai
dpr
ayi
ngandt
henl
ookedatmeagai
n

Me:
"Chaangi
xhoshi
we(noi
am notf
ir
ed)i
wil
lpr
epar
e"

Gr
an:
"sheshi
sake"

shesai
dwal
ki
ngoutandal
readyt
heket
tl
eison.Nt
ombi
isst
andi
ngbyi
tsmi
l
ingt
ome

5
showi
nghercut
edi
mpl
esandi
smi
l
eback.Ist
andupandwal
ktoherandwehug

Nt
ombi
:"Mor
ningsi
sLaaah!"

shesay
swi
thahugesmi
l
eonherf
ace.Ipul
lhercheekandshegi
ggl
es.

Me:
"youar
ehappyt
oday"

Nt
ombi
:"becausei
hav
eyou"

myhear
tmelt
s.Iswearmygr
andmot
herbear
edst
upi
dki
dsi
tel
lyou.Ihugherandt
heket
tl
e
cl
i
cksandshelet
sgo.

Gr
an:
"Nt
ombi
comel
etsgo"

Nt
ombi
:"by
esi
si"

Me:
"by
enana,
studyhar
dok?"

shenodsandrunsof
ftogranontheotherside.Oknowi havet
obefast.Ionlyhave30
minut
estogettowor
kfast
.Idowhatisnecessaryandi fi
nishi
n20minutes.Itakemyheel
s
andshovethem i
nmybagthenir
unoutoft hehouselocki
ng.

"
Taxi
"

ishoutandI
tst
opsandihopin.I
tdr
ivesof
fwit
hti
metospar
e.Ohshiti
am soolat
e.Igetoff
andrunoffl
i
keaiam bei
ngchasedbyadog.Oneguysay
s"Slowdownsist
err
ruzophuka."

Ii
gnor
eandr
unoff
.Shi
ther
eist
hecarbehi
ndme.TheBMW X6.Hesl
owsdownandr
oll
sthe
wi
ndowandial
sosl
owdown.

"bol
tman."

Me:
"Nxx,
GoshMenzi
iam l
ateandHRi
sgonnagetmei
ntr
oubl
e."

Menzi
:"(t
urni
ngt
hei
gni
ti
onof
fandget
ti
ngout
.)t
heywoul
dn'
tdar
edot
hatt
otheesoont
obe
MrsQwabe."

i
blushandhef
lasheshi
smi
l
li
ondol
l
orsmi
l
eatme.Goshman

Me:
"(
blushi
ng)phel
athi
sisawor
kpl
aceMrQwabenothome."

hest
epscl
oserandhol
dsmywai
st

Menzi
:"Ushokanj
aloMkami
?(ohy
ousaysomyWi
fe?)

Me:
"Ahhy
esi
saysoandi
am noty
ourwi
fe."

Menzi
:"Mmmh."

6
hesay
s.Ther
eissi
l
encebet
weenusandi
knowhei
sdr
il
li
ngmewi
thhi
sey
es.

Me:
"cani
go,
iam l
ateal
ready"

Menzi
:"aki
ssf
oragoodday?"

Me:
"butwear
eatwor
k."

heput
shi
sot
herhandar
oundmywai
stpul
l
ingmecl
osert
ohi
m.

Menzi
:"Iam t
hebosssoi
don'
tcar
e"

hesaidt
hatandalr
eadyhi
smintybr
eat
hishi
tt
ingmyli
ps.Theycol
l
idedandwekissed,gosh
hegetsmeev er
yti
me.Ibr
eaktheki
ssandhel
ayshi
sforeheadonminewhi
lel
ookingi
ntomy
eyes.

Menzi
:"i
lov
eyouLandi
swa"

Me:
"(bl
ushi
ng)I
Lov
eyout
ooQwabe."

Menzi
:"shi
t!!Youar
edoi
ngt
hingst
omebaby"

i
laughandgetof
fhi
sgr
ip

Me:
"cal
lmel
uncht
imet
osor
tyou.
"

Isai
dthatwal
ki
ngawayandheshout
edaf
termewi
thhandsi
nhi
spocket
.It
urnedandsmi
l
ed.

Menzi
:"Onedaybaby,
youwi
l
lwakeupnextt
othi
s!!"

i
laughbl
ocki
ngmymout
hwhi
l
ehepoi
ntst
ohi
sspearandi
runof
fint
othebui
l
ding.

HyIdi dn'
ti ntroducemy self
.Mynamei sLandiswaDl ami ni andiam 23y earsol d.Idon' thave
highereducat iont hanMat ri
ccerti
ficate.Igrewupwi thmyst ri
ct,churchl ovingandki nd
grandmot herMaDl ams, y
eahshest il
lbeatsy ouup, bigorsmal landmycut el i
tt
lecousi n
Ntombenhl eDl ami niwhois6y earsold.Shei ssoador abl eandy oucan' tr esistherchar ms.I
am dat i
ngmyboss.Yesandi l
ov ehimt othecor e.Wehav ebeendat i
ngf oray earnowandi
mustsayi hav enev erbeenhappierwithany one.Hi snamei sMenzi QwabeandPr inceoft he
Khany i
saKi ngdom.Whenhemar ri
eshewi l
lbeappoi nt
edki ng.Hehasat winbr otherandhi s
namei sMuzi kay i
seQwabeandasi ster.Theyarecool i guessandi havenev ermethi sparents
butonedayhesai di wil
landihopeso.Ihav eanol dersi sterandamot herandmysi sterl
ived
withmymot her .Justbecausemydaddi edandl eftnot hingmymot herwant ednot hi
ngt odo
withme.shewor shipsmysisterJustbecauseshemar riedaconst r
uctioncompanyownerand
hasaBcom i nAccount i
ng.Shehatesmysi ght.Ihopeendswel l
formeandt here'
smor etobe
reveal
ed.

7
I
NSERTTWO

Somet imesyoujustwishthatyoucanopensomeone' seyesyouknow.Thosewhoar e"drunk

i
nl ove"andarebli
ndedbyi tnotknowingthattheyar egett
inghurti
ntheprocess.That'
showi
feelforLandi
swa.Shei ssweetandki ndandal lofthatbutmybrotheri
sgreedy.Forhisown
selfi
shreasons.Igetoftheelev at
orandwalkt owardshisoffi
ceandsheissear chi
ngforafil
e
underherdeskandshef inall
yfindsitbutbumpsherheadont hedesk"Ouch"shecr i
esout.I
wantt olaughbutihol
dmy self.Sheget soutwhi l
erubbingherheadandlooksatme.

Landi
swa:
Don'
tlaughpl
ease

Inodwhilel
ooki
ngather .Whydoesn'tmyt winbrotherl
ethergoforsomeonewhowillactual
l
y
l
oveandmakeherwor thsomet hi
ng.Notasidechickheismakinghert
obe.Heshoul dtake
hersecondwif
ei fhehastobuthei sagai
nstthati
dea.Beli
eveme, wehavetr
iedwi
th
Nomazuluandi tneverworked.Hewon'thearanyofi t.

Landi
swa:
"hei
snotbusy"

Inodandshet
il
tsherheadl
ooki
ngatmewei
rd.Iwal
kof
fandj
ustgeti
nhi
sof
fi
cewi
thout

8
Knocki
ng

"Ey
iwhi
chpar
ent
sfai
l
edt
oteachy
oumanner
s!"

Me:
"It
sourPar
ent
s"

Hel
ooksupandcl
i
ckshi
stongueandi
laughbef
orewebr
ohug.

Menzi
:"Qwabet
wo"

Ichuckl
e

Me:
"MrQwabe.Howi
smysi
steri
nlaw?"

Hesi
ghs.

Menzi
:"Ei
shdude"

Het
akesbot
tl
edwat
erandhandsonet
ome

Me:
"Whati
swr
ong?"

Menzi
:"shei
spr
egnant"

Thati
sgr
eatnews

Me:
"Youshoul
dbehappy"

Menzi
:"y
ahbuti
want
edt
omakeLandi
swapr
egnantwi
thmyf
ir
stchi
l
d"

Il
ookedathi
m.

Me:
"Mar
ryhert
hen.Youseem t
olov
eher"

Menzi
:"Idoandi
lov
emywi
fet
oo.Ei
shi
don'
tdon'
tdon'
tdon'
tknow"

Me:
"Al
liam say
ingi
sdon'
thur
tthem t
oomuchcausey
ouwi
l
llooset
hem bot
h"

Menzi
:"Iheary
ou.Wher
eisy
oursi
ster?
"

Me:
"Am i
mar
ri
edt
oherper
haps?
"

Hechuckl
es

Menzi
:"Noi
am j
ustaski
ng"

Me:
"Par
tyi
ngsomewher
eyouknowher
.Dadi
saski
ngf
orust
hisweekend"

Menzi
:"i
don'
tknowaboutt
hiski
ngt
hing"

9
Onet
hingi
knowi
sthati
don'
twantt
obeki
ngei
ther
.

Me:
"Youwi
l
lbechosencausey
ouar
emar
ri
ed"

Menzi
:"heyhowabouty
ouMar
ryLandi
swaandy
oubecomeKi
ngbutwon'
tchowher
.Idoi
t"

Il
augh

Me:
"Ar
eyout
hatmuchofadogt
osel
lsomeoney
oul
ovel
i
ket
hat"

Menzi
:"Usuqal
i
lebei
ngHol
i
ert
hant
hou"

Ir
aisedmyhands

Me:
"Ay
iidon'
twannabeki
ng"

Menzi
:"Ei
shy
eahy
ouar
eri
ght
.Whyi
sNomazul
unotQueen?"

Me:
"wewi
l
lhav
etoaskt
hatSat
urday
.Ij
ustcamet
odr
opt
hese"

Iputt
hef
il
esont
het
abl
e

Menzi
:"Thanks.Ihav
ebeenwai
ti
ngont
hem t
oday"

Me:
"Sho.Sayhi
tomyki
ddo"

Menzi
:"Ei
sh.Iam notr
eadyt
obeaf
ather"

Hei
sreal
l
ynotr
eady
.Heneedst
ogr
owupf
ir
stbef
orebei
ngone

Me:
"Can'
tar
gue"

Hecl
i
ckedhi
stongueandi
chuckl
edandwal
kedout
.

Landi
swa:
"Amandai
am t
oot
ir
edf
rom l
astni
ght
spar
tyandi
didn'
tev
endr
ink"

Shewastal
ki
ngonthephone.Ishookmyhead.Mybr
otherthoughbebr
eaki
ngabeaut
if
ul
gi
rl
'shear
tli
ket
hat
.Sheisworthmor et
hanhi
m.Thisfamil
yeven.

Landi
swa:
"Ihav
eababyy
ouknowt
hat"

Shegi
ggl
es.Wow.Idon'
tknowi
fMenzi
knowst
his.

Landi
swa:
"ComeSat
urdayf
ormydaught
er'
sbi
rt
hdaypl
ease."

Shesmi
les.Shel
ooksveryf
ondofherchi
l
d.Igeti
ntheel
evat
orandi
tcl
osesandgoesdown.
Thi
sismessedupitel
lyou.

10
I
NSERTTHREE

*LANDI
SWA*

Yohiam sotir
edfrom workandnotonl ythatbutalsomyNuna.Iknowi am dat
ingmyboss
andallbutt
hatguyisi
rresi
sti
ble.Igetoffthetaxiandt
hankthedri
verandwalkmywayinsi
de
thehouseanddroptheheelsinthekitchen.Isigh.Thi
sisourhome.Whatandallwehave.

Me:
MaDl
ams!
!

Ishoutout
.

Gogo:
Eyi
Voet
sekwena,
Iam ol
dert
hany
ou.Don'
tshoutl
i
key
ouar
eshout
ingatadog!
!

Me:
Eishsor
ry

Shecamei
nandputt
hepot
atoesi
nthepot
.Il
ookedather
.

11
Me:
Wher
eisNt
ombi
?

Gogo:
shewentt
odohomewor
knextdoor

Me:
Shoul
dicook?

Gogo:
Nodon'
tweat
e.

Inodded.Shehel
dmyhand

Gogo:
Iam pr
oudofy
ouLandi
swa.Youar
etr
yingy
ourbestandi
seei
tandi
wantt
osayt
hank
you

Ismi
l
e.Ihugher

Gogo:
Ayi
phel
a

Wel
augh

Nt
ombi
wal
ksi
nwi
thherbooks.

Nt
ombi
:Laaah!
!

Gogo:
Ntombenhl
e

Nt
ombi
:Sor
rygogo

Icr
ouchandki
ssHercheek

Me:
Howwasschool
?

Nt
ombi
:i
twasok

Me:
youar
egonnabet
henextDrAngi
ni?

Shenodded

Nt
ombi
:OrChef

Wel
augh.Sheki
ssesmycheek

Nt
ombi
:Iam t
ir
ed.Goodni
ghtl
aah

Iki
ssherandsheski
psof
f.

Gogo:
Ican'
tbel
i
eveshei
sgr
owi
ng

Me:
Shei
sreal
l
y.Ei
shgogoi
am t
ir
edt
oo.Seey
out
omor
row mor
ning

Gogo:
Ify
oudon'
twakeupear
lyi
am gonnapourwat
erony
ou

12
Me:
Haah

Gogo:
TryMaDl
ams

Shewal
kedof
fwhi
l
eil
aughed.Myphonepi
nged.It
ooki
tout
.

*
*Imi
ssy
ouasal
way
s**

Ismi
l
e.Tel
lmehowcani
notl
ovet
hismanr
ighther
e.If
oundmy
sel
fgi
ggl
i
ngandr
oll
i
ngback

Me:
Godi
sgood.

Idi
dn'
trepl
ybutkepthi
m wai
ti
ng.

I
NSERTFOUR

Iwenttoputmybagdownandi haveamessagef rom Amandasay i

ngMandla'
sfri
endis
hosti
ngahousewar mi ngpart
yt hisweekend.Iremindherthatican'
tgobecauseitsNtombi'
s
bir
thdayonSaturdayandi wantt ospoi
lher.Shesay saf
terbecauseit
sgoestil
lSunday.Hai
bo
i
sitaClubthing?Isighthisgi
rldoesn'tgiveup.Irememberi wascall
edtoMenzi'soff
iceand
istar
ttof
ixmydr essandi st
rutt ohi
soffi
ce.Iknockandi heara"comein"bei
ngcommanded
andheiswithhisbrotherMuzi.Igetshyinfrontofthebothofthem.

Menzi
:"Cl
oset
hedoor"

Idojustt
hatandi
wal
kinfur
therandMuziNodswithasmileandiam char
med.Isi
tdownand
i
tseemsl i
kemeandmyboothangMatchedtoday
.Colourwise.

Me:
"Youaskedf
ormesi
r?"

Menzi
:"Thi
sthi
ngofy
oucomi
ngl
atei
sbecomi
ngt
oof
requentnow."

Me:"Iam awar
eandiam r
eal
l
ysorr
y.It
'sj
ustt
heseday
swor
kandhomepr
obl
emshav
egotme
swoopedandipromi
set
oneverbel
ateagai
n."

Muzi
:"Homepr
obl
ems?
"

13
Heseemsconcer
ned.Icl
earmyt
hroat
.

Menzi:
"Homeandworkarediff
erentpl
aces.Whathappensathomeshoul
dn'
taf
fecty
ourwor
k
et
hicher
eint
hiscompanyLandiswa.Her
e"

Hehandsmeapaper

Me:
"Am i
fir
ed?"

Menzi
:"Noi
tsawr
it
tenwar
ning."

It
ookal
ookatt
hepaperandi
tsasecondone,
wai
twhendi
digett
hef
ir
stone?

Me:
"Idon'
trememberhav
ingt
hef
ir
stone"

Isayl
ooki
ngconcer
nedcausei
knowt
hir
dwar
ningandi
am j
obl
ess.

Menzi
:"TheCapei
nci
dent
."

Me:
"Buti
twasn'
tev
enmyFaul
tMenzi
!"

Menzi
:"MrQwabet
oyouanddon'
trai
sey
ourv
oiceatme."

Tearspri
ckl
edmyeyes.Al
licoul
dthi
nkabouti
sLit
tl
eNt ombi,gogo.Thosearethepeopl
eiam
workingf
or.Ift
heyhavef
oodandclothest
heniam good.Idon'tcareabouttherest
.

Me:
"Iunder
stand.Thanky
ou"

Menzi
:"Iwantt
hatsi
gnedbyt
heendoft
heday"

Whatdididotodeservesuchcr
ueltyt
oday?Whathashappenedt
omysweetlovi
ngboyfr
iend.
MyPrince.Iunderst
andthewarni
ngforbei
ngl
atebutcomeonCindyf
rom HRistheone
r
esponsibl
efortheCapedealt
obackfir
enotme.

Muzi
:"That
'sabi
thar
sh"

Menzi
:"I
tsmycompanybr
obackof
f.I
t'
sei
therwegetbackt
owor
kory
oucomebackanot
her
t
ime."

Muzi
:"anot
hert
imei
sneeded"

Hegotupandl
eft
.

Me:
"Cani
hav
eapen?
"

Hethrewitacr
osst
omeandi tooki
t.Iwasatthevergeofcry
ingbuti
don'twanthi
mtosee
that
.Isi
gnedandgavei
ttohi
m andthenwalkedout.Thetearsmadethei
rwaydownmy
cheeks.

14
.

*MENZI
*

Isi
ghedwhenshewal kedout.Thetear
sthatwerealmostinhereyesbrokemyhearti
ntopi
eces.
Il
oveherandi wi
shi methersoonerandmadehermywi febutial
solovemywifesomuch.
Nowt hatshei
spregnantineedt odori
ghtbyher.Ineedtofuckiam f
rust
rat
edbutiknow
l
andiswawon'tgi
v ei
ttomeaf terwhatijustdi
d.Mywi fecall
smeandi smil
e.

Me:
"myQueen"

Ihearhergi
ggl
e.ShewasnamedMbal
i
yomhl
ababymyf
ami
l
yaf
termar
ri
age

Mbal
i:
"Heybaby,
Imi
ssy
ou"

Me:
"buty
ouwer
einmyar
mst
hismor
ning"

Mbal
i:
"Iknow ,
It'
sthi
sbabyandbesi
desi
wannacomeandv
isi
tyouatwor
kdur
ingl
uncht
ime.
"

Me:
"Iwoul
dlov
ethatbaby"

Isaywi
thawi
desmi
l
e.

Mbal
i:
"ok,
LetmegomyKi
ng.Hasi
tbeendeci
dedwhowi
l
lbeki
ngbet
weeny
ouandMuzi
?"

Me:
"dadsai
dhewi
l
linf
orm ust
woweeksaf
termont
hend"

Mbal
i:
"ihopei
t'
syou"

Me:
"of
causei
t'
smebaby
.Ihav
egotaQueent
orul
ewi
th"

Shegi
ggl
es.Ahhj
oyt
omyhear
t.

Mbal
i:
"okby
ebabyMncwaa"

Me:
"shar
p"

Ihangupandcar
ryonwi
thwor
k.

15
.

*
LANDI
SWA*

Aftercry
ingmy self
.OhNkosi iwon'teventellgogoaboutthi
scauseshewi l
lbeatmeupt i
lli
never,evergetawr it
tenwarni
ngfrom here.Icarryonwit
hmywor kunti
li
tisLunchtime.I
decidedtogot otheRestaur
antacrossthebuildi
ngandgetmy selfsomethi
ngt oeatand
may besomewi netoDuduzamy sel
f.Itakemybagandphoneandi st
andupandi wal
ktothe
el
ev at
or.Itopensandmyey esmeetsuchabeaut if
ulwoman.Il ookatherstomachandshei s
pregnantandseemst osui
ther.I
twasn'tabigstomachbutbecauseoft heti
ghtdresssheis
wear i
ngyoucancl earl
yseethatsheispregnant.

Me:
"ohHi
"

Igi
veoutmymostgenui
nesmi
l
eandshel
ooksatmeupanddownandi
tfadesaway
.

Her:
"youwor
kher
e?"

Me:
"Yes"

shecl
i
ckshert
ongue

Her:
"theSkankst
heseQwabeMenhi
re"

Woahut
heni
kemanj
e?Shegotmeont
hewr
ongday

Me: "Lalelakesisiweweav eef ananomsi l

awenj a.Singajway elanikabi
.Lesihlahl aogibhele
kusoot hiuk'wehlakusongobaengat hisi
yakuhlulaandngekeumel anenami ,angi sonai si
febe,
kuyashouny okoway ehambaekuf undisaamany alaingakhouhambauzokhul umaushi di
kubantu.Ngaphi ndeukhiphel awomagamakumi nauzozitholausubhanqananal oludonga
ngiyakutshela(list
ernhereladywi thaweav eli
keadog' st ai
l, Don'tshitonme.Thatt reethat
youar eon, Isuggesty oucomedownf r
om itbecausei tseemst obeadi ff
icul
tt askfory out o
handleandy ouwon' tbeablet ohandleme.Iam notahoe, i
tt ell
sthatyourmot hertaughty ou
shi
tbecausey ouarevomintingshittopeople.Don'ty ouev ersayt hosewor dst omecausey ou
wil
lfindy ourselfkissi
ngthi
swal l
.)"

Shesl
appedme.Ichuckl
ed.

16
"whati
sgoi
ngher
e?"

ItwasMenzi .Idi
dn'
twanttobeinhispresenceatt
hemoment .Igotint
heelev
atorandit
closed.Ibreat
hedinandoutbef
oreitopenedandiwalkedout.Iwalkedoutoft
hebuildi
ng.I
j
ustwantt obeoutofhereandcalm myangerdown.Wor sedayshame.Igotoutandi bumped
i
nt oMuzi ,
Iwasn'tinthemoodforhim.Iwalkedpasthim buthegottograbmef ast

Muzi
:"Heyi
am her
etogety
ou"

Me:"iam noti
nthemoodf
orcompanyandal
soi
am y
ourbr
other
'sgi
rl
fr
iend.Thi
sshoul
dn'
t
behappeni
ng"

hechuckl
edabi
tandputhishandsinhi
spocket.Damnwhydoeshehav
etol
ooksosexy
?He
l
ickedhi
sbot
tom l
i
pniceandslowlybef
orespeaki
ng.

Muzi
:"gi
rl
fr
iendi
knowt
hat
."

Thewayhesai
d"Gi
rl
fr
iend"i
tsl
i
keheknewsomet
hingi
didn'
tknowabout
.

Me:
"ist
her
esomet
hingt
haty
ouknow?"

Muzi
:"no,
Noatal
l
."

Hesmi
l
es,
wei
rd.Het
henf
rowns.

Muzi
:"whathappenedher
e?"

Het
oucheswher
ethatt
hingsl
appedme

Me:
"somegor
geouspr
egnantwomansl
appedme,
arghwhyam i
evencompl
i
ment
ingher
?!"

Muzi
:"i
tsbecausey
ouhav
eagoodhear
t.Comel
etsgo"

Het akesmyhandandhel eadsustohiscarandheopenst hedoorforme.Igetinandthe

shi
v ers.Hecl
oseditandIwatchedhi
m goaroundthecart
ohi ssideandhegotinanddr
oveof
f
tother est
aur
ant.Wegotthereandgotoutandifel
tsoconfidentinhi
sarm whi
lehehel
dmy
waist.Goshthi
sismyboy f
riend'
stwi
n.Ishoul
dn'
tfeel
li
kethis.Brushthi
snonsenseoff
Landiswa.

Muzi
:"SoLal
a,whoar
eyou?"

Me:
"Lal
a?Mmmh"

hesmi
l
ed.Godt
hisdar
kgodmakesmewetnj
ewi
thhi
spant
ydr
oppi
ngsmi
l
e.

Muzi
:"(si
tt
ingdown)orLum l
um "

Ibl
ushed.Thewayhesai
dLum l
um wi
thhi
sdeepr
ichv
oicegotmeMel
ti
ng.Hesmi
l
ed.

17
Muzi
:"i
am gl
adi
hav
eanef
fectony
ou"

Me:
"don'
tbef
lat
ter
edi
t'
sjustt
hebr
uisedcheek"

Het
ouchedwi
thhi
smanl
yhands.If
eltashock

Muzi
:"i
wil
ltakey
out
otheDrt
ogeti
tchecked"

Me:
"itwasasl
ap.Notl
i
kei
wasgunned"

i
rol
lmyey
es.

Muzi
:"y
ouhav
ebeaut
if
uley
es"

Me:
"Thanky
ou"

Weheldagazetoeachot
her
.Whati
sthati
shappeni
ngt
omeunderhi
spr
esencet
hati
hav
e
nev
erhadbefor
e?

I
NSERTFI
VE

Wewerest
il
l att
herest
aur
anthavi
ngl
unchandimustsayt
hati
didn'
tknowalotaboutMenzi
buti
knowalotaboutMuzi
atthemoment
.Weareeati
ngourmai
nmeal now.

Muzi
:"soy
ouhav
eadaught
er"

Hesai
dwhi
l
etaki
ngabr
eakj
ustt
ogazeuponmef
rom hi
sfood.

Me:
"No,
idon'
thav
eachi
l
d"

Hef
rownsabi
tconf
used.

Muzi:
"Welli
don'
twanttoseem l
i
keiam put
ti
ngmynoseinyourbusi
nessbutIov
erhear
dyou
bef
oretal
ki
ngabouty
ourdaught
er'
sbir
thdaythi
sweekend

Me:
"Oh"

Ut
handai
ndabal
oh.It
ookasi
pfr
om t
hewi
ne

Me:
"That
'smyl
i
ttl
ecousi
n.Shei
sli
keadaught
ert
ome"

18
Muzi
:"Youseem v
eryf
ondofher"

Me:
"(
cleart
hroat)Shei
sal
lihav
e.Iam al
lshehas"

Ther
ewassi
l
encebet
weenus.It
ookanot
hersi
pof
fthewi
ne

Me:
"sowhenar
ewehear
ingweddi
ngbel
l
sfr
om y
ou?"

Hechuckl
ed

Muzi
:"i
don'
tknowasy
et"

Me:
"Mustbehar
dbei
ngr
oyal
"

Muzi:
"Tel
lmeabouti
t,AsKi
ngmyf
atherexpect
sal
otf
rom us.Mar
ri
ageandgr
andchi
l
dren
andal
l"

Me:
"Idon'
tthi
nki
wil
lset
tl
edownunt
ilNt
ombi
is24andt
hati
sli
ke18y
ear
sfr
om now"

Muzi
:"Yourl
i
ttl
ecousi
n?"

Me:
"Yes."

Muzi
:"Shesoundsador
abl
e.Iwoul
dlov
etomeether"

Me:
"IfMaDl
amsal
l
owst
hat"

Muzi
:"That
syourmot
her?
"

Me:
"Gr
andmot
her
.It
sjustme,
Ntombi
andmyGr
andmot
her"

Muzi
:"Tel
lmeaboutt
hem ,
your
sel
fint
hepr
ocess"

Ihavenevert
oldany oneaboutmyfami l
yorlif
e.Whydoi f
eelcomf ortabl
etell
i
nghim?Isit
becausehealsotoldmeabouthi sfamil
yandhi scr
azyuncl
ealso.Thatonei safunnystor
yand
ihaveneverl
aughedsohar di nmylif
einjustafewminuteswiththisguy.Ibl
ushwithMenzi
butwithhi
mitsli
keheenj oysheari
ngmel aughandgiggl
ecausehej usthasasati
sfact
ory
smilel
ikehei
sdoi ngagoodj obwit
hhi mself.

Me: "WellNtombi,my6yearol
dcousi
n,loveofmyl i
fe.Hermotherusedt
oabuseherandwe
di
dn'tknowt i
l
lGogoonedaycamebackwi t
hhertoli
vewithus.Sheissuchafreesoul.Car
ing
andloving,onedayshewantstobeaDrorchef.Shehasbigdreamsandverysmarttoo.Sheis
myal l
.Thenmygr andmothery
ohyoudon'twannagot her
e.Thatwomeni smypil
larof
str
ength"

Muzi
:"soundl
i
keAmazi
ngpeopl
e"

Me:
"Theyar
etome"

19
Muzi
:"i
hopei
meett
hem oneday"

I
fithappens.

Me:
"May
be,
lookatt
het
ime.Idon'
twannabel
atebackt
owor
kagai
n"

Muzi
:"Yeah"

Hecli
ckedhi
sfi
nger
sforthewait
erandaskedift
hiscoul
dbetakeninatakeoutf
orm andwe
gotourf
oodandwewalkedout.Heopenedthedoorformeandithankedhi
m andhewentto
hi
ssideandhegoti
nanddroveoff.

Muzi
:"Thanksf
orhav
ingl
unchwi
thme"

Me:
"It
sonl
yapl
easur
e."

Muzi
:"Weshoul
ddot
hisagai
n"

Me:
"Iam notsur
e"

Muzi
:"Pl
ease"

Hedi
dthepuppyey
esandi
laughed

Me:
"Ok,
wecan"

Hesmi l
edandilookedaway.Wegottowor kandtheni thankedhim andwalkedinside.Therest
ofthedaywasok.Thatladycamefr
om Menzi '
soffice.Wegav eeachot herdeathstaresand
thatwasit
.Knockof ft
imecameandi packedmyt hingsandwal kedoutleaving.Iheard
someonecall
ingmynameandi twasMenzi .Ment
allyi r
oll
edmyey es

Me:
"MrQwabe"

Menzi
:"Babypl
easedon'
tdot
hat"

Me:
"it
'sLandi
swa"

Menzi
:"Soy
ouar
emadatme?
"

Me:
"No,
wear
est
ri
ctl
ypr
ofessi
onal
s."

Menzi
:"Letmet
akey
ouhome"

Me:
"noi
wil
lManagej
ustf
ine.Butt
hanksf
ort
heof
fer"

It
urnedandhehel
dmyhand

Menzi
:"Laah"

20
Me:
"mmmh"

Hepul
ledmetowherehiscari
sandopenedthedoorf
ormeandi goti
nandhewentt
ohi
ssi
de
anddr
oveof
f.Itwassi
lentandiwasn'
tint
hemoodt otal
ktohi
m.

Menzi
:"i
am sor
rybaby"

Heki
ssedmyhandt
henhel
dmycheek

Menzi
:"whathappenedher
e?"

Me:
"not
hing?
"

Menzi
:"I
tcan'
tbenot
hingwheni
t'
sthi
sbad"

Me:
"Justdr
opi
tMenzi
.Iam j
usty
ourskankt
haty
ouhi
red."

Menzi
:"y
ouar
enotaskank.Youar
emywoman"

Ichuckl
ed

Me:
"ok."

Thedr
ivewassi
l
ent

Me:
"Pl
easedr
opmeher
eineedt
ogett
hings"

Hesl
oweddownt
hecar
.Hewant
edt
oleani
nforaki
ssbuti
gotout
.

Me:
"Thanks."

Icl
osedt
hedoorandwal
kedtowar
dst
her
ank.Nxt
hisonet
hinksi
wil
lj
umpwheni
tsui
tshi
m.
Heshoul
dreal
l
ythi
nkagain.

AfewdayspassedanditwasnowNtombi
'
s6t
hbirt
hday.Iwokeupearl
yandjustcl
eaned
ar
oundthehouse.Ihav
ebeensavi
ngmoneyt
otakeherandgogoout.Gogogotinandshewas
l
ooki
ngatme.

Gogo:
"uy
oganani
niuhambe(whenwi
l
lyougetmar
ri
edsoy
oucanl
eav
e)"

21
Me:
"Awuy
oudon'
twantmenomor
e"

Gogo:
"youar
eol
dnow"

me:
"Iam 23gogo.Iwi
l
lgetmar
ri
edonceNt
ombi
is24y
ear
s"

Shecl
appedherhands.

Me:
"gogetr
eadyi
am al
mostdoneher
e"

Gogo:
"iam notgoi
ngwi
thy
out
wo,
ther
eisawomen'
spr
ayermeet
ingi
wantt
ogot
o"

Me:
"awukwakubi
ke.(howbad)"

Nt
ombi
camer
ushi
ngi
n

Gogo:
"yey
ithi
sisnott
her
acet
rack.Sl
owdown"

Shegiggl
edshowi
nghermi
ssi
ngt
oot
h.Yepi
tgotoutl
astni
ghtandi
gav
eherR10f
ort
oot
h
fai
rymoney

Nt
ombi
:"sor
rygogo"

Me:
"youar
edoneeat
ing?
"

Shesmi
l
ednoddi
ng.

Me:
"okl
etmegoandgetdr
essed"

Shewenttothechai
randsatdown.Iwenttogogo'sr
oom andiwentt
ogetdressedi
ndeni
m
j
eanswit
hawhi tet-
shi
rtandblacksneaker
s.It
oppeditof
fwit
hadenimjacket
.Ntombi
was
wear
ingthesame.Ididn'
tputanymakeupsoi tookmybagandi wal
kedout.

Me:
"Let
sgo,
byegogo"

Nt
ombi
:"by
emaDl
ams"

Gogo:
"by
ebant
abami
"

Wewentouttocatchataxiandwentt othemal
l.Nt
ombiwassoexci
tedthati
washappythat
t
odayigettospoi
lher.WegotthereandshewasAmazed.Wefir
stwenttowatchananimated
movi
ewhi chwaslorex,t
henafterthatwewenttopl
aysomegames.Shewasjumpingonthe
t
rampol
inegiggli
ngandsmi l
i
ng.

Nt
ombi
:"Laaahl
ook"

Me:
"youar
egood?
"

Shenodsandt
urns.Wewav
eateachot
her
.

22
"Shei
sbeaut
if
ull
i
key
ou"

It
urned.Hesmi
l
edatme.

Me:
"uhm Hi
fancyseei
ngy
ouher
eyourhi
ghnesss"

Hechuckled.Helookedsogoodincasual
clot
hes.Hewasi
nbl
ackj
eanswi
thbl
ackt
shi
rtand
sneaker
s, Toppedoffwi
thawatchandBaseball
cap.

Muzi
:"(chuckl
e)JustMuzi
isf
inemyl
ady"

Igi
ggl
edNt
ombi
camet
ome.

Nt
ombi
:"Laahi
am hungr
y"

Muzi
crouched

Muzi
:"sot
hisi
sthebi
rt
hdaygi
rl"

shenoddedwi
thasmi
l
e

Muzi:
"(pl
ayi
ngwi
thhercheeks)andi
seeat
oot
hismi
ssi
ng,
didt
het
oot
hfai
rygi
vey
ou
money?"

Nt
ombi
:"Yeshedi
dsi
r"

Muzi
fiddl
edi
nhi
spocketandt
ookoutaR200Not
e"

Muzi
:"(whi
sper
ing)hesai
dthi
s shoul
dal
sogi
vey
out
his"

Me:
"It
sfi
ne"

Muzi
:"i
wantt
o"

Nt
ombi
:"Haaht
hanky
ouBhut
i"

Shej
umpsonhi
m huggi
nghi
m .Hesmi
l
esandhol
dshert
ight
.Theybr
eaki
t.

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Muzi
:"i
t'
snot
hing,
comel
etsgohav
esomet
hingt
oeatwher
eev
ery
ouwant"

Nt
ombi
:"r
eal
l
y?"

Muzi
:"Yep,
wher
edoy
ouwannaeat?"

Nt
ombi
:"McDonal
ds"

Itel
lyoutheywerel
i
keahouseonf
ir
eit
ell
you.Theywal
kedouthol
dinghandsl
eav
ingme
ther
estanding.

23
Nt
ombi
:
"laaahcome"

Muzi
:"Iam sur
eyouar
eashungr
yLum l
um "

Me:
"iam sur
eyoudi
dn'
tcomet
otakeusout"

Muzi
:"nowi
am "

Ishookmyheadl
aughi
ngandf
oll
owedt
hem

I
NSERTSI
X

If
oll
owedthem outandi
wasshoutoutyept
hesetwofor
gott
hati
evenexi
stedbutwait
McDonal
d'
si snowhereher
eint
hemal l
sothatmeanswearel
eavi
ngthemallr
ight?

Muzi
:"Uhhuh"

Hesai
dwhi
l
eli
steni
ngt
oNt
ombi
Blabber
ing

Nt
ombi
:"andLasty
earl
ahboughtabi
gcakef
ormeandanewbagsay
ingi
shoul
dkeepi
twel
l"

Muzi
:"Andy
ouar
est
il
lkeepi
ngi
twel
l
?"

Shenodded.Gosht
heyl
ookedsocut
easshewasi
nhi
sar
mswhi
l
etheyt
alked.Theyst
opped
aswewer eget
ti
ngoutoft
hemall

Muzi
:"(t
aki
nghi
sphoneout)Pl
easet
akeapi
ctur
eofmeandt
hisador
abl
ecr
eat
ure"

Il
aughed

Me:
"Ok"

Theycar
ri
edonwit
hthei
rconv
ersat
ionandiwasjustt
akingpi
ctur
eaf
terpi
ctur
e.Ihav
etosay
I
phonesdothet
hangshamecausetheyl
ookedbeauti
ful
.WegottoMuzi'
scarheopenedt
he

24
doorandputNt
ombiin.Theexci
tementonherf
acewaspr
icel
ess.Het
henwal
kedar
oundaf
ter
cl
osingt
hedoorandopenedthefrontdoor
.

Me:
"Iwi
l
lsi
twi
thNt
ombi
"

Muzi
:"Idon'
trememberbei
ngachauf
feurandi
wil
lgetbor
ed"

Hemadet
hepuppyey
esonceagai
nandi
laughedandgoti
nandhecl
osedt
hedoor
.It
urnedt
o
Nt
ombi

Me:
"Youbuckl
edup?
"

Shenodded.

Ismi
l
edather
.Muzi
goti
nthecarandbuckl
edupanddr
oveof
f.

Muzi
:"Wel
lidon'
tthi
nkmymusi
cissui
tabl
efory
ouguy
s"

Nt
ombi
:"Canweheari
tBhut
i?"

Muzi
:"Sur
e"

Heopenedt
heradi
oandKennyl
att
imor
e;Al
lmyt
omor
rows.Nt
ombi
scr
eamed.Iswearmy
ear
swereri
ngi
ng.

Muzi
:"Iguesssomeonel
ovest
hissong"

Nt
ombi
:"Laahy
oursong.Si
ngi
tformel
i
key
oudi
dlastni
ght"

Muzi
glancedatmewi
thasmi
rkonhi
sli
psmaki
nghi
mlooksexi
ert
hanheal
readyi
s.

Muzi
:"Si
ngf
orus,
iwannaheart
his."

Me:
"Ican'
tsi
ng"

Nt
ombi
:"Youal
way
sdof
ormel
aah.Si
ngt
hissongf
orme"

Shedi
dthepuppyey
es,
icoul
dn'
tresi
stt
hat
.

Me:
"Ok"

Muzi
star
tedt
hesongal
lov
eragai
n.

Me:
"Al
lmyy
est
erday
s,al
lsobl
ue

Andt
heyspendwai
ti
ng,
wai
ti
ngt
ofi
ndy
ou

Nowt
hosesawy
est
erday
s

They
'r
esof
arbehi
nd

25
Anot
herl
i
fet
ime

Si
gny
ournameonmyf
utur
e

Wr
it
eyournameonmyhear
t

You'
ret
heonet
hati
needi
nmyl
i
fe

Andmyar
ms

[
Chor
us]

Al
lmyt
omor
rowst
heyal
lfory
ou

Al
lofmyal
way
s,f
oral
lmywhol
eli
fet
hroughmay

Cause,
you'
ret
heonei
want

Togi
vemyt
omor
rowst
o

Youal
way
shav
e

Al
lmyt
omor
rows,
they
'r
eal
lfory
oubabe

Al
lyourev
ery
day
s.Iwi
l
lbet
her
e.

Youwi
l
lhav
enodoubthowmucht
hati
car
e..
..
..

Ist
oppedandi
wipedmyt
ear
s

Me:
"Uhm pl
easest
opt
hecarabi
t."

Hegl ancedatmewithconcern.Hest oppedt hecarandi tookof fmybeltandgotof fandi just

l
etitout.Therei
soneper soni l
i
vef orbesidesMaDl amsandt hatisNtombi ,that
swhyi always
sangt hi
ssongtoher,i
tmi ghtbeaLov esongbutt omeitsmor ethanthat
.Itsmet el
li
ngher
howmuchshemeanst omeev erydayandshei smyev er
ything.Ifel
tsomeonehugmef rom
behindandbythescenticouldtellwhoitis.Ifi
nishedcryi
ngandwi pedmyf ace.Goodt hingi
didn'
tapplymakeup.Itur
nar ound

Me:
"Sor
ryaboutt
hat"

Muzi
:"r
emi
nderofabadpast?"

Me:
"no"

Hehuggedmeandi
fel
tsosaf
eandatpeacef
ort
hef
ir
stt
imeev
eri
nmyl
i
fe

Muzi
:"I
t'
snotr
eal
l
yagoodsi
ghtt
oseey
oucr
y"

26
Igi
ggl
es

Me:
"letmecheckonNt
ombi
"

Hel
etgoofmeandf
orsomewei
rdr
easonheki
ssedmyf
orehead.

Muzi
:"come"

Het
ookmyhandandweopenedt
hebackandNt
ombi
Jumpedonme.

Nt
ombi
:"(t
ear
y)y
oupr
omi
sedmel
aaht
haty
ouwon'
tcr
yany
mor
e"

Me:"sor
rybaby
,Don'
tcr
y,Ial
way
stel
lyoui
tst
ear
sofJoyandshowshowmucht
hissongi
s
madeforyou"

Shesmi
l
es.

Nt
ombi
:"ok.Asambengi
l
ambi
l
e(l
etsgoi
am hungr
y)"

Wel aughedandgotint
othecarandMuzi dr
oveoff
.Weswitchedt
oanothersongandnowi
pluggedmyphonei nandwewereli
ster
ningtoKabzadasmallumshov
e.Muzi wassi
ngi
ngi
t
themostandwoul dsmirkher
eandther
emaki nghi
m sexy
.

Nt
ombi
:"l
aahy
ini
ukumshov
auMbal
i?"

Me:
"uhm ,
yohngekei
can'
t"

Muzi
laughedandl
ower
edt
hev
olume

Muzi
:"her
eisMcDonal
dsPumpki
n"

Ntombil
ookedoutt
hewi
ndow.Fi
nal
ly
.Thi
sguyandpetnamesthough.Wegotoutandpeopl
e
werel
ooki
ngatus.Muzi
heldmyhandandihel
dNtombi'
shand.

Me:
"ar
epeopl
egonnat
akepi
ctur
esofus?"

Muzi
:"i
ftheydot
heywon'
tmakei
ttoanynewspaperorI
nter
net"

Me:
"Okt
hanks"

wegoti
nandwewentt
opl
aceouror
der
s.Af
tert
hatwesatdown.

Nt
ombi
:"l
aahcani
goandpl
ay?"

Me:
"butdon'
tyouwantt
owai
tfort
hef
ood?"

Muzi
:"l
ethergoandpl
ay.Iwi
l
lcal
lyouPumpki
n"

Nt
ombi
:"t
hanky
ou"

27
Sheki
ssedhi
scheek.Heeehhay
ike(Onecl
ap.)

Me:
"Pumpki
n.Ni
cepetname"

Hechuckl
ed.

Muzi
:"(Leani
ngf
orwar
dwi
thasmi
rk)i
sthatj
eal
ousyi
sense?
"

Me:
"whywoul
dibeJeal
ousofmyl
i
ttl
ecousi
n.Andi
tsnotl
i
kewear
esomet
hing"

Iwi
shi
hadwi
ner
ightnow

Muzi
:"mmmhi
fyousayso,
soLum l
um "

Thewayhesaysit,
Youkuvel
ekuthi
Ncncubont
sisi
unyakaze(mybeanj
ustt
wit
chs).He
smil
esandibl
ush.Godthi
sguyisgonnabet
hedeathofmewithhi
schar
ms.

Me:
"yes.Yourhi
ghness?"

Muzi
:"wheni
syourbi
rt
hday?
"

Me:
"Awui
thoughty
ouknewsi
ncei
am dat
ingy
ourbr
other"

Hi
sfacechangedabi
tbuther
egai
nedhi
spr
evi
ousf
ace.Wei
rd.Any
way

Muzi
:"wel
lhei
ssecr
eti
veatt
imes"

Me:
"Ohwel
l,5Sept
ember"

Hesmiled.Idon'
tknowwhyt hi
sguyhassuchaneff
ectonme.NoLandi
swathedev
ili
st est
ing
youhere.Thisi
sMenzi'sbr
other,
Yourbr
otheri
nlawifi
coul
dsaysi
ncewear
enotmarried,
Yourboyfri
end'
stwin."

Ourf oodcameaswewer etal

ki
ng.Wej ustclick.IguessMuzi i
seasiert
ot alktot
hanMenzi
.
Hei sallaboutwor k,Sexbutromant i
cabi ttoo.Al waysbusy, Weneverreall
yspentt
imeata
Franchiseli
ket hisei
therthanexpensi
v erest
ur antshetakesmet o.Ntombi andMuziwerel
ike
gl
uedt ot hehip.Wel laf
tertheMcDonal dstrip.Muzi boughtafamil
ymeal f
ormeandNtombi
andgogo.Ipr ot est
edaloteveninpayingi want edtopaybuty enayohakezwa.

Muzi
:"Yohdamnwomany
ouar
est
ubbor
n"

Me:
"It
sjustt
haty
oudon'
twantt
oli
stent
hatal
l"

Nt
ombi
wasnowal
seepatt
heback.

Muzi
:"l
etmet
akey
ouhome"

Me:
"noy
oucandr
opusi
ntown"

28
Muzi
:"Youknowwhat
.Iwon'
tl
ist
ernt
oyou.Gi
vemedi
rect
ons"

Isi
ghed.Idi
d.Wegothomeandhegotoutandt
ookNt
ombi
.Iwentt
oputev
ery
thi
ngdown

Gogo:
"wher
eisNt
ombi
Landi
swa?"

Shewaswat
chi
ngTv

Me:
"Shei
sout
side,
Iam gonnaf
etchhernow"

Gogo:
"Youhadagr
eatdayi
see"

Me:
"Yes"

Iwal
kedoutbar
efoot
ed.Igott
oMuzi

Me:
"Thanky
ouf
ort
oday"

Muzi
:"I
twasf
un,
Weshoul
ddoi
tagai
n"

Me:
"Wi
thNt
ombi
right?Iam sur
eshewi
l
lbehappy"

Muzi
:"Orusal
one"

Hai
bowhati
shesay
ingnow.

"HaiboLandiswaakungeneki
yini
nomaubanjweabaphansi
singazi
!!(Landi
swawhyar
eyou
notcominginside,
areyouheldbytheancest
ors?
)"

GoshMaDl
ams.It
ookNt
ombi
from Muzi
'shands.

Gogo:
"ohHel
l
o,l
andi
swauy
enaMkhweny
anal
oh?(l
andi
swai
sthi
smysoni
nlaw?
)"

Me:
"gogo!
"

Gogo:"Gogowokunukasi
ncewhen,
Iam MaDl
amsmf
anawam (Gr
andmamyasssi
ncewhen
,Iam MaDl
amsmyboy )"

Muzi
chuckl
edandhandshookgogo'
shand

Muzi
:"i
hav
ehear
dal
otabouty
ouMah"

Gogo:
"goodi
hope"

Muzi
:"y
es,
Landi
swaf
orgott
oment
ionhowgr
acef
ull
yyoul
ook"

Gogo:
"Awuphel
aint
ozam ukugugangi
nganaki
l
e(i
tsmyt
hangt
oagel
i
ket
his)
"

Me:
"Canwegoi
nsi
de.ThanksMuzi
forev
ery
thi
ng"

29
gogo:
"Howmanycowsar
eyouwi
l
li
ngt
opay,
Notl
esst
han15myboy"

Me:
"ther
ear
enocowsher
e"

Muzi
:"Iwi
l
landmor
emah"

Gogo:
"Good"

Iwant
edt
odi
eal
ready
.

Gogo:
"Gi
vemet
hatSackandsaygoodby
etoMkhweny
anapr
oper
ly"

Godsav
eme.Shet
ookNt
ombi
andl
eftwi
thher.

Me:
"Thatwasembar
rassi
ng"

Hechuckl
ed

Muzi
:
"Il
i
keher"

Me:
"yeah,
ihav
etogonow.By
e"

i
tur
nedandst
art
edwal
ki
ng

Muzi
:"Landi
swa"

i
tur
ned

Me:
"yes?
"

HecamecloseandHuggedmet henki
ssedmyforhead.I
tfel
tsogoodbeingi
nhi
sar
msf
or
t
hosesecondsbutt
heyfel
tlonger
.It
ookinhi
sscentandwebr okeitof
f.

Muzi
:"Iwi
l
lseey
ou"

me:
"Yeah,
Thanksagai
n"

Muzi
:"al
way
sapl
easur
e"

Iwalkedbacki
nthehouse.Ismel
tmyj
acketgoshi
tsmel
tjustl
i
kehi
m.Imel
tedt
her
eand
ther
e.

30
I
NSERTSEVEN

Todayi wokeuphav ingapurposeofsomesortiknewiwoul

dnai
lthatmeetingandsecurethat
Mill
ionsdeal nodoubtal
lbecauseofsomepeopleputasmil
eonmyf aceforthepasttwodays.
Igotoutofmybedandi wentt ot
akeashower.Tookalongonej
ustenjoy
ingthewaterand
theni gotoutandwrappedmywai sti
natowelandwalkedout
.It
ookmyphoneanddi aledmy
PA'snumber.Sheanswer edinaSeductiv
evoi
ce

"MrQwabe"

Me:
"Gugu,
Howar
eyou?"

Gugu:
"Goodsi
ryouknow"

Me:"That'
sgoodcanyoupl
easecal
lthef
lowershopandgetmewhi
tel
i
li
es,
Alsoget
chocol
ateandi
tshoul
dbesenttoMybrot
her'
scompany"

Gugu:
"Whatshoul
dthemesaagebesi
r?"

Me:
"Youl
ookbeaut
if
ult
oday,
Justt
hat"

Gugu:
"Uhm Si
r..
..
..
."

Me:
"sendi
ttoMsDl
ami
ni,
Landi
swaDl
ami
ni"

31
Gugu:
"Oh"

Icoul
dhearapangofdi
sappoi
ntment
.

Me:
"Goti
t?"

Gugu:
"yessi
r.I
twi
l
lbedel
i
ver
edsoon."

Me:
"Okt
hanky
ou"

Ihungupandwentt olot i
ont heni wor emynav ysuitwi t
hacr i
spwhiteshir
t,Not i
eandBr own
Loafer
s.Iwor emywat chf r
om mywat chcoll
ecti
onandi thenwalkedoutandt ookmyphone
andwentdownt hestairs.Iwasgr eetedbyt hecleani
ngcr ew.Theyar eusuall
year l
yon
monday s.Igreett
hem andi am onmywayout .Igetintomyr 8Andi dr
iveofft
ot heoff
icewhi
le
l
ist
erningtoLov eontopbybey oncepl ayedont heradiostation.I
tstoopoppyandnotf orme
butthewor dssayital
l.Igett ot heof f
iceandmyMot herishere.Whendi dshearriv
e.She
comesandhugsmeasi pl
acemyl aptop.

Mom :
"Ohmf
anawami
(ohmyboy)"

Me:
"Ndl
ovukazi
howar
eyou?
"

Mom :
"Iam notwel
l"

Me:
"Whywhati
swr
ong?
"

Igetconcer
enedabouther

Mom :
"Idon'
thav
egr
andki
ds"

Me:
"Menzi
andMbal
iar
eexpect
ing?
"

Mom :
"Ihear
d.Butwena?"

Me:
"Whataboutme?
"

Mom :
"Anygi
rlny
ana"

Iaut
omat
ical
l
ysmi
l
ed.Isweari
didn'
tpl
ant
hat

Me:
"Not
hing"

Mom :
"Ohi
tcan'
tbenot
hing.Come"

shesatmedown

Mom :
"Det
ail
snow"

Me:
"Iam notagi
rl
.Thi
sisat
alky
oushoul
dhav
ewi
thNomazul
u".

32
Nomazul
uisoursi
ster

Mom :
"Hai
boboyf
orwhowenagi
rlt
alk"

Ichuckl
ed

Me:
"Shei
sjustaf
ri
end"

Mom :
"Thaty
oul
i
ke"

shesqueal
ed

Me:
"Awhol
eQueenact
ingcr
azy
.Iam sur
ethepr
esswoul
dpayf
ort
his"

Shehi
tsmyshoul
der

Mom :
"Youar
efor
war
d"

Ichuckl
ed.

Mom :
"Youar
egonnai
nvi
tehert
othecor
inat
ionr
ight?"

Me:
"Wheni
sitagai
n?"

Mom :
"Don'
tannoyme,
don'
ttel
lmey
ouf
orgot"

Il
ookedather

Mom :
"Muzi
kay
iseQwabe"

Me:
"Sor
ry"

Mom :
"Nextweek"

Me:
"shor
tnot
iceandy
ouhav
en'
ttol
duswhoi
sgonnat
aket
hecr
own"

Mom :
"Iknowy
oudon'
twanti
tory
oudo?"

Me:
"No,
handl
i
ngaki
ngdom i
stoomuchf
orme."

Mom :"Okkebutbet
her
etosuppor
tyourbr
otherandcal
lthatf
ri
endofy
our
stocome.Iwanna
seeher"

Me:
"hay
iNdl
ovukazi
"

Shest
oodupandki
ssesmyf
orehead

Mom :
"It
sanor
der,
byei
am goi
ngshoppi
ng"

Me:
"enj
oy"

33
Mom :
"Iwi
l
l,i
tsnotmymoneyaf
teral
l"

ishakemyheadasshewal ksout.Boyam i gl
adiam nottheonebecomi ngking.Thel i
feil
i
vei
don'twanttobegoodinf
rontofmypeopl eandwhileIknowwhati dointhedark.No.Thatsnot
whati wantandthei
deaofmov i
ngt oKznandliv
ingther
eno.Il i
kePret
oriar
ightasitis.Gugu
walkedin,Shewasweari
ngashor tblackdr
essthatwasholdi
ngontoherbody .Bigboobswhich
shemost l
yshowsoff.Shealwayswantt ofi
ndawayofseduci ngme.Ilaybackonmychai r

Gugu:
"gooddaysi
r,Youhav
eonl
yonemeet
ingt
odayandi
tsat14:
00butt
her
estoft
heday
youar
eclear
."

Me:
"di
dyousendt
hef
lower
s?"

Shecl
ear
shert
hroatandf
ixesherdr
ess

Gugu:
"yessi
r"

Me:"Ihopeso.Closet
hedoorony
ourwayoutanddon'
tletany
bodyt
hroughunl
esst
heyhav
e
anappoi
ntment."

Gugu:
"yessi
r"

Shewal kedoutandcl osedthedoor.Istart

edworkingforthedayandt herei
salotofwor kthat
needst obecompl etedi nashor
tamountoft i
me.Luncht i
mecameandi usuall
yhav eashake
forthatwheni am swappedi nwork.Iheardcommot i
onout sidemydoorandi tbust edopen.
Herbeaut i
fulangr
yf ace.Damnhowdi di f
allf
ort
hiswoman?shei sperf
ecti
onwi thouteven
try
ingorput ti
ngeffort.Shei
sinaredbodyhuggingdresst hatisaboveherkneeswi thblack
heelsandhasherhai rinabun.Nomakeupandnat ur
al.Sheput sherbagonthet ableandGugu
i
sonhert ai
l.Shel
ooksbackatGugu

Gugu:
"Si
rir
eal
l
ytr
iedt
ost
opher"

Me:
"it
sokGugu"

Gugul
ookedannoy
ed.Shecameandper
kedmyl
i
ps.Iam sur
pri
sedbutl
ovi
ngi
t

Landi
swa:
"heybaby"

ShelookedbackatGuguandipul
ledhertomeandsatheronmyl apandki
ssedherandshe
respondedwhil
emoaningi
nmyl i
ps.Goshit
ell
youigotabonerthereandt
herej
ustof
fher
sweetmoanandshesmel l
edsodamngood.Wehear dthedoorbangandshepul
ledout
.

Landi
swa:
"Whatwast
hatal
laboutMrQwabe?
"

Me:
"Not
hing,
whatwast
hatal
labout?
"

Landi
swa:
"ar
ghi
justwant
edt
oannoyher,
Iknowshehashot
sfory
ou"

34
Ichuckl
ed

Me:
"jeal
ousMsDl
ami
ni?
"

Landi
swa:
"Nope.Asi
khul
ume(l
etst
alk)
"

Shesatonmybonerwhi
l
elooki
ngatme.Shei
susi
ngherchar
msandgoddamnar
ethey
worki
ng.Shesmi
l
es.

Landi
swa:
"Whydi
dn'
tyout
ell
mey
ourbr
otheri
smar
ri
ed?
"

Shi
t!

Me:
"uhm .
..
..
"

Shel
ookedscar
ynowandwasn'
tsweetatal
l

Me:
"li
stenLum l
um "

Ihel
dherwai
sti
tfel
tsor
ightanddamngood.

Landi
swa:"Muzikay
iselal
ela(List
enMuzikayi
se)ihavebeendati
ngyourtwi
nforay
earnow
andyoudidn'
tev
engi v
emeahi ntthatt
heguyismarri
ed.If
eell
i
keafoolforl
ovi
nghi
m and
gi
vinghi
m myall
.ForfucksakesIgav ehim myvi
rgi
nit
y"

Shecri
es.Goshthi
sisdeep.Hercr
iespier
cemyheartandl
eavesitbl
eedi
ng.Ipul
lhertome
andhushher.Shesni
ff
sandi wi
shtotakeall
herpai
naway.Ishouldhavedonesomething

Me: "Lum lum Iam sorr

yfornotsay
inganyt
hing.I
ttri
edtel
l
ingMenzi tol
etyougobuthe
wouldn'thearanyofit.Itwasn'
tmyplaceei
thertosayanyt
hing.Iam sor
ryy
ouarehurti
ngand
cr
ying.Idon'tdom l
ikethat"

Shepul
l
edher
sel
fof
fmeandi
wipedhert
ear
s.

Me:
"Don'
tev
ercr
ycausey
oul
ookugl
y.Onl
ytear
sofj
oy"

shechuckl
ed.

Landi
swa:
"igott
hatf
rom y
ou.Iguessi
over
react
ed.Iam sor
ryMuzi
"

Me:
"Hawui
gav
eyouaPetmamegi
vemeonet
oo"

shel
aughed

Landi
swa:
"Ok,
Uhm Bear
"

Me:
"Bearr
eal
l
y?"

Landi
swa:
"yes,
itsbecausey
ougi
vewar
m bearhugs"

35
Me:
"(smi
l
ing)y
ouwantone?
"

Shediv
edinmyarmsandi wrappedt
hem ar
oundherbody.Shei
nhal
edmei nandi
didthe
same.Thi
sisper
fect.Iwi
shshecanstayi
nmyarmsf or
ever.Westayedf
orsometimeti
llshe
pul
ledout
.

Landi
swa:
"Thanky
ou"

Shesmi
l
edandi
didt
oo.Goshshei
sbeaut
if
ul.

Me:
"Howi
sMaDl
amsandNt
ombi
?"

Landiswa:"yohthatonedoesn'tshutup,sheisphoni
ngt
heuncl
esever
ydaytot
ellt
hem tobe
preparedforl
obolaarghitol
dherwear efri
endsandshesai
dhay
iwena,Iknowtheset
hings
minai ai
n'
tnof oolkeepupwiththeprogr
am kid"

Il
aughedgosht
hatgr
andmot
heri
ssomet
hingel
se.

Landi
swa:
"AndNt
ombi
Missesy
ou"

Me:
"Iwi
l
lcomeandt
akehersowecanhav
eadayout"

Landi
swa:
"Luckyhermmmh"

Me:
"youcancome"

Landi
swa:
"ay
inoi
tsf
ine"

Shet
ookherbagandt
ookoutachocol
atewi
thapi
ctur
e

Landi
swa:
"shedi
dthi
syest
erday"

I
twasabeaut
if
ulcar
d.Cut
e

Me:"Thanky
oufort
hebestbi
rt
hdayev
er.Nev
erhav
eiev
erhadsomuchf
un.Youar
eforkeeps
bearl
ovepumpki
n"

Thi
sissosweet
.

Me:
"Iseey
oual
readyhadanamef
orme"

Landi
swa:
"may
be,
May
benot"

Me:
"Shei
sspeci
al"

Ther
ewasaknockont
hedoor

Me:
"Comei
n"

36
Guguwal
kesi
nwi
thf
ood.Shewasst
ompi
ngherf
eet
.

Landi
swa:
"oht
hef
oodi
sher
e.Thanky
oudol
lyouar
east
arl
etmepay"

Me:
Iwi
l
lpay"

Landi
swa:
"Iam t
heonewhoor
der
ed,
Don'
tannoyme"

i
chuckl
ed

Me:
"okbabe"

i
per
kedherl
i
psandshepai
d.

Landi
swa:
"Nowwher
ewer
ewe?"

Shesai
dsi
tt
ingonme

Landi
swa:
"si
sipl
easecl
osethedooronyourwayout"iwantedtol
aughbuticontai
nedmy
sel
f.
Guguwasfuming.Shet
urnedherheel
sandwalkedoutangr
ythenbangedthedoor.

Landi
swa:
"seeshel
i
kesy
ou"

Me:
"buti
li
key
ou"

ToosoonDudet
oosoo.Shel
eanedf
orwar
dandherl
i
pswer
etouchi
ngmi
ne.Myhear
twas
beat
ing

Landi
swa:
"Ohi
sitMrQwabe"

Me:
"(swal
l
ow)y
eah"

Myenemi esdon'thav et
oseet hi
s.Howweaki am t
oawoman.Shel ai
dherl
ipsandshe
star
tedki
ssingmeandi di
dn'thesi
tatet
okissherbackihel
dherwaistandmybonergr
ewand
grewbythemi nute.Theelect
ir
csparkbetweenuswasthere,Thel
ustsandwarmthwasther
e.I
coul
dn'texplai
nwhati twasbuti l
ovedbei
ngathermercy.

*
LANDI
SWA*

37
Goshi don'tknowwhatorhowt oexplai
nwhatmeandMuzi ar
edoing, I
tfeel
ssoniceandi
knowy '
allaregonnaj udgemebuti am mov i
ngon.WhatdotheysayohASWEMOVEMNTASE
!! any wayMenzi hasbeenblowi
ngupmyphone.Thati sanotherprobl
em.Imeani lovedt
he
guyforay ear,waitwhyam iusingpastt ense.Il
ovehi
mi mean.Ihav eevenchangedmysi m
card.Oneot hert
hingNt ombi
andGogokeepont al
ki
ngaboutMuzili
keeverydayanditsbor
ing
nowy oh.

"Gal
!!"

Iknow t
hatvoi
ceany
wher
e.Ij
umpupandr
unt
oherandMenzi
isl
ooki
ngatus.Hi
sof
fi
cedoor
i
sopen.Heisonacall

Amanda:
"Ihav
emi
ssedy
ou,
Howi
sNt
ombi
?"

Me:
"Goodshemi
ssesy
ou"

Amanda:
"iwi
l
lvi
sit,
sti
l
lwi
thMrCr
eamysauce?"

Me:
"No"

Amanda:
"Hawuwhy?"

Me:
"Iwi
l
ltel
lyoul
ater"

"Landi
swa"

Amanda:
"Hei
scal
l
ingy
ou"

Me:
"Ar
ght
hankschomi
forcomi
ngandseei
ngme"

Amanda:
"It
swhatf
ri
endsar
efor,
Heymypl
acef
ri
day"

Me:
"Par
ty?"

Amanda:
"Iwi
l
lcal
lyouandt
ell
yout
hedet
ail
s"

Me:
"Okby
ebabes"

Wehuggedandshel
eft
.Imi
ssedhershame.Iwal
kedi
ntoMenzi
'
sof
fi
ce

Menzi
:"Cl
oset
hedoorpl
ease"

Me:
"whysoy
ourwi
fecansl
apmeandcal
lmeaskank?"

hesi
ghed

Menzi
:"Baby"

38
Me:
"Wear
epastt
hatst
agewheny
oul
i
edt
omeMuzi
"

Shi
t!Whathav
eyoudoneLandi
swa.HI
STWI
NREALLY?

Menzi
:"Di
dyouj
ustcal
lmeMuzi
?Li
kemybr
otherMuzi
?"

Me:
"Ni
yaf
ana.I
tsl
i
pped"

i
hel
dmymout
h

hebanggedt
het
abl
eandi
jumped

Menzi
:"f
uckar
eyouf
ucki
ngmybr
other?
"

Me:
"No"

Menzi
:"Landi
swadon'
tl
iet
ome.wedon'
tl
ookt
hesamesodon'
tfuckwi
thme!
!!"

Me:
"Vel
ewhatwedoi
snonofy
ourbusi
nesshei
snotal
yi
ngj
erkl
i
key
ou!"

Isawsstarsasf
astasthewind.Hej
ustsl
appedme.Il
ookedathi
m andhecal
meddown.Hi
s
facewassoft
eri
ntor
eli
sati
onofwhathehaddone.

Menzi
:"Laahi
am s.
..
..
."

Iwal
kedoutcr
yingandi
bumpedi
ntosomeone.

Muzi
:"Hey"

Me:
"Not
hing"

hel
ookedatmycheekandhi
sey
est
urnedr
ed.Soscar
yiwasev
enscar
edofhi
mtoo.

Menzi
:"Whosl
appedy
ou?
"

"l
aahi
"

hepushedmeasi
deandj
umpedonMenzi

Me:
"No!Muzi
!"

Ev
ery
thi
ngwashappeni
ngsof
ast

Muzi
:"Yousl
apher
.Youf
uckenputy
ourhandsonheraf
tert
heshi
tyoudi
dtoher!
!!
"

Hewasr oari
ngthewords.Thankgodthisfl
oorhasonlytheCeoof f
iceandmypl acesoitsthe
thr
eeofus.Irantowheretheicanrestr
ictt
heelevat
orfrom cominghere.
ial
sowentt oclose
thedoorthatl
edtothe stai
rs.Youknowpeoplelovedramaandputi touti
ntheinter
net.Think
abouti
t"QWABEPRI NCESFIGHTOVERPAI SSUEAFFAI R"t
hatisnotgood.Ithenwenttot hem

39
andt
ri
edt
opul
lMuzi
offMenzi
.Hepushedmeandi
fel
landi
scr
emaed.

Me:
"ouch!"

Hest
oppedandr
ushedt
ome.

Muzi
:"Lum l
um y
ouok?"

Me:
"yeahi
thi
nk,
Lookaty
ourhands.GoshMuzi
theyar
eful
lofbl
ood!
"

Muzi
:"don'
twor
ry"

howcani
not
.Il
ookov
ert
owher
eMenzi
is.

Me:
"Menzi
"

Hewasn'
tmov
ing.Imov
edcl
oseri
fel
thi
spul
sei
tst
her
ebutabi
tweak

Me:
"ohmygosh.Cal
lanAmbul
ance"

Muzi
:"Shi
t!"

Hedi
dthatwhi
l
eit
ri
edt
ocheckonMenzi
her
eandt
her
eandi
twasget
ti
ngweakerbyt
ime.

Menzi
:"t
heyar
eont
hei
rway,
Idon'
twanthi
mtodi
ethoughhedeser
vedi
t"

Me:
"let
sgocl
eany
ourhandst
henopenal
lent
rances"

Muzi
:"Youcl
osedt
hem ?"

Me:
"Thefi
ghtwouldhavemadetheheadl
i
nesandgoi
ngVi
ral
bynow.I
twoul
drui
nyour
i
magesaspr
incesandbusi
nessmen"

hewashedhi
shandsandwi
pedt
hem t
henhel
dmyhead.

Muzi
:"i
knowi
tssoonbut.
..
..
..
..
"

Helaidhist
enderlipsont omi ne.Hi sbr eathi
ngwaswar m andhiscologneinvit
ing.Hej ust
pausedforawhile,whi l
ejusttakingi nal lofthatsabouttohappenandsoam i .Het henfinds
hi
sper f
ectt
imet opar tmyl i
psandi shoul dber est
ri
cti
ngbutmyhear tsays"gof ori
tMohgal ".
Crazyri
ghtiknow.Hi shandsmov edf rom myf aceandt omywaistbringi
ngmecl oser.Guy si
wanttosaythisbutnof eel
ingbeat st hef eeli
ngofaguybr i
ngi
ngy ouclosertohim whi le
ki
ssingandyoufeel hishardony oul ikemygod.Imoanedi nhi
smout handhegr oaned.Goshi t
soundssodeepf rom hissexyv oiceandmuchsexi erashisvoi
ceisdeeperf r
om t hi
sheat .He
pi
ckedmeupandi wrappedmyl egsar oundhi swai standheputmeont hesinkandi brokethe
ki
ss.

Me:
"Wehav
etocheckonMenzi
"

40
Muzi
:"(hoar
sev
oice)y
eah,
goal
ongiam r
ightbehi
ndy
ou"

Hegotmedownandki ssednyforehead.Somethi
ngiam notusedt
o.Iwentoutf
ixi
ngmy sel
f
damni am hor
ny.Igotoutandsoont heparamedi
cscamer ushi
ngi
nthr
oughtheelevat
or,
TheygottoMenzianddidthei
rt hi
ngsandtheytookhi
m away.

Muzi
:"Come"

Wefol
l
owed.Peopl
earoundherel
ookingatusquest
ioni
ngbutwedidn'
tl
ookatthem.Forsure
howawhol
epri
nceandyoungestMil
l
ionai
reinSAwashospit
ali
zedwil
lhether
eontheInt
ernet.

Wegoti
nMuzi
'
scar,
hedr
oveof
f.

Me:
"Hewi
l
lbeok"

Muzi
:"Yeah"

hefai
ntsmil
ed.Iam wor
ri
ediwon'
tli
ebutihavet
obest
rong.Wegottot
hehospi
tal
andMuzi
st
oleaperkbef
orewegotout
.Waitwhati
sthatwear
edoing?Landi
sway
ouareabitchy
oh!
!

Wehav ebeensitti
ngf orhour satthehospi
talt
il
lidecidedthatishouldgohome.Muzi offered
totakemehome, ididn' twantt oatf
ir
stbuteventuall
yiagreed.Hedr oppedmehomeandsai d
heisgoingtohishouset ochange.Thi si
samessr eal
lyandwhenwel ef
tthehospitali
tprov ed
tobediffi
cul
t.Seemsl iketheQueeni scomi ngtomor row .Iam scaredreall
yandt hisi
sal l
my
faul
t.IgotinanditwasQui et.Imeanitspast9pm nowsowhywasIexpect ingeveryonetobe
up.Itookoffmyclothesandt ookmymat r
essandl ai
donitandj ustcri
ed.IhopeMenzi gets
bett
er.Iwanttoapologi se.Ididn'
tmeant ocal
lhim Muzi i
tjustsli
ppedoutofmyt ongue.

"l
aaah"

Iwi
pemyt
ear
sfastandl
ookupandi
tsNt
ombi
rubbi
ngherey
es

Me:
"HeyAwul
elengani
?(whyar
eyounotasl
eep?)"

Shel
aysnextt
ome.

Nt
ombi
:"Iwantt
osl
eepwi
thy
ou"

Shesay
ssnuggl
i
ngcl
oserandi
hol
dher
.Shei
smyev
ery
thi
ng.

Me:
"Youwantmet
osi
ngy
out
osl
eep?"

41
Shenodded.

Me:
"OkLal
aKahl
e"

Sheadj
ust
edher
sel
fandi
star
tedsi
ngi
ngf
orher
.

Me:
"Al
lmyt
omor
rows.Theyal
lfory
ou

Al
lofmyal
way
s.

Foral
lmywhol
eli
fet
hroughmay

Causey
ou'
ret
heonei
want

Iwantt
ogi
vet
omor
row t
o

Youal
way
shav
e

Al
lmyt
omor
rows

They
'r
eal
lfory
ouBaby"

Shehascl
osedherey
esandwasasl
eep.Iki
ssedhercheekandr
est
edaf
terher

[
TWODAYSLATER]

Yohi
thasbeenhectic.TheQueeni sani
ceinti
midat
ingwoman.Shehascomet oov erseet
he
company.Iam gl
adMenzi i
srecoveri
ngi
nhisstat
e.Idon'
tknowwhati woul
dbei fsomethi
ng
el
sehappened.Ihav
en'theardfrom MuziandsoastheQueenbutit
hinkit
sforthebest.Ri
ght
nowineedoneofAmanda' sparti
es.Igi
veheracall

Amanda:
"Mngoh"

Me:
"Fr
iendshi
p,i
sther
eanypar
typoppi
ngupt
hisweek"

Amanda:
"Hai
bowhathappened?Youdon'
tl
ikepar
ti
es.Iev
endr
agy
out
othem "

Me:
"Ey
iungabuzi
(don'
task.)i
justneedt
odi
str
ess."

Amanda:
"Iwi
l
lvi
sit
.Mandl
ahasn'
tsai
dany
thi
ng.Sozwangay
e(wewi
l
lhearf
rom hi
m )"

Me:
"okshar
p"

IhangupandTheQueenmakesherwayt
ome.Ist
andupi
mmedi
atel
yandbowmyheadabi
t.

42
Queen:
"Youmayr
iseLandi
swa"

Me:
"Cani
gety
ouany
thi
ng?"

Queen:
"cany
ougi
vebi
rt
htoaboyf
ormyson?"

Shel
ooksf
rust
rat
ed.

Queen:
"iam sor
ry.I
tsj
ustMbal
ii
ssupposedt
ogi
vebi
rt
htoaboynotagi
rl
."

Me:
"Uhm i
tsst
il
lear
lyMyQueen.Gi
vet
hem t
ime."

Queen:
"Ti
me?Youknowt
hecor
inat
ioni
ssoon?
"

Me:"Ithappensatt
imesy
ougetagi
rlf
ir
stt
henboy
.Ibel
i
evei
npat
ienceandwomenar
e
dominati
ngtheworl
dnow"

Shesmi
l
es

Queen:
"Your
ight
.Yousmar
til
i
key
ou,
keept
hatup.Ihav
etot
alkt
omyhusband.Excusemea
bi
t."

Shewal
kedoff
.Thatwomani
sagr
acef
ulwoman.Pr
adat
oGucci
toL.
V.ni
cehai
randgood
per
fumeandal
l.Shei
sfl
awl
ess

IsitbackdownonmydeskandmyphoneVi
brat
es.I
tsMuzi
,whatdoeshewant?Weshoul
dbe
distanci
ngoursel
ves.

MUZI
***
*Imi
ssy
ou*
***

Ismi
led.Ij
ustl
eftt
hemessagel
i
ket
hat
.Itwastouchi
ngreal
l
y.Iwon'
tli
e,idi
dmi
sshi
m abi
t
al
so.Icarr
yonwi t
hwor
kandmyphonevibr
atesagai
n.I
tshi
m,2messages.

Iopent
hem.

MUZI
***
Cani
seey
ou?*
***

*
***
iam comi
ngt
ofet
chy
ou*
***
*

Il
augh

ME*
**i
am st
il
lbusywi
thwor
k.Don'
twannagetont
heQueen'
sbadsi
de*
**

MUZI*
***
Howaboutmybadone?
***
**

Read.Il
ookati
tandi
repl
y

ME*
**Iam av
ail
abl
eluncht
ime*
***

43
Sent.Iputmyphonedownandcar
ryonwor
king.I
tvi
brat
edt
wice.

MUZI*
***OkmaDl
ami
ni.Iwi
l
lbet
her
etof
etchy
ou*
**

Ismi
l
e.

MUZI*
**Il
ovey
ou*
***

Hei
sof
fl
inenow.Wai
tiam soi
nshock.It
hinki
readt
hemessageaboutahundr
edt
imes.

"y
abl
ushaNt
ombi
.Kazi
iyi
phi
indoda(y
ouar
ebl
ushi
nggi
rl,
Iwonderwhoi
stheman)"

Il
ookupandi
tst
heQueen.

Me:
"Sor
ryMyQueen."

Queen:
"cal
lmemah"

i
nod.

Me:
"mahcani
ask?
"

Shel
eansf
orwar
d

Me:"uhm t
her
eisthi
sguyihavebeendat
ingforayearnowandi l
ovedhim.Thingsweregr
eat
andamazi
ngti
lli
foundouthehasbeenmarri
edforawhileandhastotakeoverFamil
y
tr
adi
ti
ons"

Queen:
"iheary
ou"

Me: "hehasabrother
.West
art
edoffasf
ri
endswi
thhi
sbrother
.Myl it
tl
ecousi
nandhim
cl
ickedandlovedeachot
her
.Igott
oknowmoreofhi
sbrothert
hanmyboy fri
endbef
oreif
ound
outtheMarri
agenews.Wewouldspendal
otti
meswit
hhisbrotherandhewasgoodcompany"

Queen:
"whati
sthepr
obl
em ?Youl
ovet
hebr
other?
"

Me:
"notexact
lybuthej
ustsentmeat
extt
ell
i
ngmehel
ovesme"

Queen:
"cal
lhi
m"

Me:
"huh?
"

Queen:
"cal
lhi
m"

Itookmyphoneanddi
aledMuzi
.Hepi
ckedupaf
teraf
ir
str
ingaf
tersomanyv
oicemai
l
sihav
e
beenget
ti
ng.

Muzi
:"Muzi
kay
iseQwabeHel
l
o"

44
Me:
"uuuhhhmm.
..
..
..
"

Queen:
"Khul
uma,
mbuze"

Me:
"uhm hi
"

Hechuckl
ed

Muzi
:"hi
"

Hear
inghi
sdeepr
ichv
oicewasn'
tcal
mingmedown.

Ther
ewassi
l
enceabi
t.

Muzi
:"Shoul
dif
etchy
ounoworLuncht
ime?"

Me:
"uhm Lunc.
..
..
."

Queen:
"now"

Me:
"iam sor
rynow,
woul
dbef
ine"

Hechuckl
ed

Muzi
:"ok.Iwi
l
lbet
her
ein20mi
nut
es"

Me:
"Ok"

Muzi
:"i
lov
eyou"

Hehungupaf
tert
hat
.

Me:
"Hesai
ditagai
n."

Queen:"i
alway
sknewMuzi
isacowar
dsomet
imesofhi
sfeel
i
ngshei
sscar
edoff
eel
i
ng
r
eject
ed"

Me:
"oh"

Wesati
nsi
l
ence.Wai
t..
..

Me:
"Howdoy
ouknowwhoi
tis?"

Shel
aughed

Queen:
"Ibi
rt
hedt
hoseboysandisawthewayMuziwoul
dlookaty
ourphot
osmont
hsagoat
homeandhowhewouldconst
ant
lyaskmeabouty
ousinceicameher
e"

Me:
"oh"

45
Shehol
dsmyhand

Queen:
"hearhi
m out
.Hemi
ghtl
eav
eyoui
nhi
l
lswi
thhi
m"

Shewal
kedof
fandi
laughed.Thi
samazi
ngwomant
hough.

I
NSERTEI
GHT

*
MENZI*

Theysaydon'tunderesti
matesomeoneuntilt
heyshowy oufl
ames.WellMuzishowedme
NeardeathforSl
appingLandi
swaandi knowideserveitbutiwasangry.Shecal
ledmeMuzi,
Whatbusinessdotheyhavetogether?
Weretheyfucki
ngf orsolongbehi
ndmyback.Those
thought
scloudedmymi nd.Ifeltahandonmyshoul derandi l
ookedatherandpull
edhert
o

46
meandrubbedherst
omach.If
eltaki
ckandi
smi
l
edt
henki
ssedi
tandi
groanedi
npai
nasi
r
aisedmysel
fup.

Mbal
i:
"takei
teasybaby"

Me:
"(gr
oani
ng)noi
am good."

Shesatadj
ust
edt
hecouchcushi
ons.

Mbal
i:
"shoul
diaskt
heCheft
omakesomet
hingf
ory
ou?"

Me:
"justj
uice"

Isai
d.

Mbal
i:
"Ok.Iwi
l
lber
ightback

Shedisappearedt
otheki
tchenwhi
l
eiopenedt
heTvandi
thenwat
chedsoccer
.Shecame
backandr est
ednextt
ome.

Me:
"Wear
egoi
ngnextweekdownt
oKZN"

Idr
ankmyj
uice

Mbal
i:
"Iknow.Yourmot
heri
nfor
medus.Shei
scomi
ngt
oni
ghtf
ordi
nnerbef
oreshel
eav
es"

Me:
"Wher
eisMuzi
?"

Mbal
i:
"hev
ani
shedsi
ncey
ouhav
ebeeni
njur
edcausei
hav
en'
tseenhi
m si
ncet
hen"

Me:
"Mmmh"

Mbal
i:
"Whati
swr
ong?"

Me:
"Not
hing"

Mbal
i:
"Mmmh"

Shesai
dlooki
ngatmeandi
lookedaway
.Wewat
chedsomesoccerandshewentt
ogetsome
rest
.

*MUZI*

47
.

Ihaven'twentt otheoff
icesi
ncet hef i
ghtbetweenmeandmyt win.Ihavebeeni naHot el
l
ockingmy sel
fandthi
nki
ng.It
sdanger ous.Mywantandy earnforLandiswai stooDanger ous
thatishouldstayawaybutican't.Shedr awsmet oherwit
houtherevenr eal
isingit.Iwentt o
takeashowerbecausei am fetchingheri n20minutesandiam nervous.Iconf essedthati lov
e
her.Wellididn'
ttel
lherl
ikeushav ingaconv er
sati
onaboutitbutiputitther
e.Igotdr essedi n
mybl ackchinoswithawhitegolft-shir
tandsemi f
ormalshoes.Icombmyhai randspray ed
someper f
umeandi wasgoodt ogo.It ookmykey sandwall
etandi walkeddownt hestairs.I
wentt othegarageanditooktheMer cedesThist
imeandi drov
eof f
.Myphoner ang

Me:
"Shar
p"

St
icks:
"Mer
chandi
sei
fi
ki
leMnumzane"

Me:
"Cuti
t"

St
icks:
"Shoshoskhul
u"

Ihangupandiar
ri
vedatMenzi'
scompany.Igotoutofthecarandwalkedin.Ther
ecept
ioni
st
greet
edmewithahugeasssmil
ebuti
ignor
edit.Igotintheel
evatorandcheckedmysel
fwhil
e
breat
hingi
nandout
.

Me:
"Muzi
yougood.Cal
m down"

Igavemy sel
fapeptal
k.Theelevatorpingedandigotoutandwal
kedtoherdesk.Shewas
underi
tlooki
ngforsomethi
ng.Iclearedmyt hr
oatandshealmosthi
therheadassherosebut
missed

Me:
"Youshoul
dbecar
eful
downt
her
ebef
orey
ouhur
tyour
sel
f"

Igav
emyhandoutt
ohersoshecant
akei
t.Shedi
dandputt
hef
il
eont
hedesk.

Landi
swa:
"Uhm hi
"

Ichuckl
ed.I
twasunl
i
kehert
obener
vous"

Me:
"Shal
lwe?"

Shenoddedandi tookherhandandwewalkedout
.Iwasnervousandsowasshebuti woul
d
st
ealglancesatherandshewoul dshyaway.Myheartwasr
acing,
hitt
ingli
keaDrum .I
openedthedoorf orherandshehoppedi
nandthankedmeandi cl
osedthedoorandwentto
mysideandgoti n.I twasqui
eti
nthecar.

Me:
"Cal
m down"

48
Shebr
eat
hesout
.Iwasact
ual
l
ytel
l
ingmy
sel
fthatbuti
guesssheneededt
oheart
hat
.

Landi
swa:
"wher
ear
ewegoi
ng?"

Me:
"Myhouse"

Isawherey
espop

Me:
"Don'
twor
rywewon'
tdoany
thi
ng.Idon'
twanty
out
ofeel
uncomf
ort
abl
e"

shenodded.

Landi
swa:
"uhm Muzi
...
"

Me:
"yesLum l
um "

Shebl
ushed.Shewasgl
owi
ngl
i
keabul
b.Ihel
dherhandt
ightwhi
l
eshet
ri
edt
oremov
eit
.

Landi
swa:
"whati
sgoi
ngonher
eMuzi
,whatwear
edoi
ngi
swr
ong?"

Me:
"iknowi
tssoonandev
eryt
hingbuti
justcan'
tkeepmyhandst
omy
sel
fwi
thy
ou"

Iki
ssherhand.

Landi
swa:
"Muzi
wehav
etot
hinkaboutMenzi
.Hemayhav
ebeenaj
erkbuthei
syourbr
other"

Icl
enchedmyj
awsandt
urnedt
ofaceherandourey
esl
ocked.

Me:
"andi
am y
ourl
over"

Ihel
dherfaceandkissedheesopassionat
elyshecoul
dn'
tresi
st.Wewer
ebyt
her
obot
.She
pull
edoutandiki
ssedherforehead.

Me:
"Il
ovey
ouandi
meani
t"

Shesi
ghedandl
ookeddownwhi
l
eicar
ri
edondr
ivi
ng.
..
..
..
..
.

49
.

*
LANDI
SWA*

Muzikeptongl anci
nguponmewhilehewasdriv
ing.Thismani stempti
ngmef orreal,ineed
MaDlamspr ayersforr
eal
.It
ssil
entandonlyt
hemusi cisplay
ing.Ithasbeenabitlongdri
ve,
l
iket
hirtyminutesnowandiseenohousesorbuil
dings.Ishegoingtokil
lmeperhaps?Imean
t
hisi
st hesameguywhobeathi sbrot
hertoapulpbuthedoesn' tseem l
i
kethetypet oki
ll
women.

Muzi
:"(Hol
dingmyhand)whatar
eyout
hinki
ngofLum l
um ?
"

Ij
ustMel
twhenhesay
sthat
.Thewayitroll
soutofhi
stongueandhisdeephuskyv
oice
cont
ri
but
est
oevery
thi
ngismagni
fi
cent.Itf
il
lsbubbl
esi
nsidemystomach.

Me:
"Not
hing"

Heki
ssesmyhandandhol
dsi
tandi
lethi
m be.

Me:
"Wehav
ebeendr
ivi
ngf
orqui
etsomet
imenow"

Muzi
:"Wear
ecl
oser"

Me:
"Whydoy
oul
i
veof
fsuchapl
ace?"

Muzi
:"Il
i
keQui
etness"

Me:
"Ther
eisqui
etnessi
nWhi
tenei
ghbour
hoods"

Iseetreesandt henabigHouse, i
sthist
hePresidentshouse.Itgreenandlongandbeaut i
ful
l
ikebeautif
ul.Itssimpl
eyetelegant
.Thegateopensandhedr i
vesinandhest opsbyt he
fount
ain.Iam stil
lmesmeri
zedbyt hisbeaut
if
ulhouse.WhatdoesMuzi do?NotalotofPr i
nces
havethiskindofhouses.Comet othi
nkofitidon'treal
lyknowwhathedoesf oraliv
ing.Iknow
thatMenziisintoConstr
ucti
onandall.Hegetsoutandcomest omysi deandopenst hedoor
formeandi getoutanda"Wow"comesoutofmymout h.Hechucklesandpl aceshishandon
mywai standl eadsmeinsidethehouse.I
t'
smor ebeautiful
.If
eelsmall.Thi
smakesmef eel

50
sadathowi wishNt
ombi
coul
dachi
evet
oal
loft
his.If
eel
him wi
pemyt
ear
sandhi
sey
es
seem concer
ned.

Muzi
:"Tal
ktomel
um l
um "

Me:
"It
snot
hing.Yourhousel
ooksamazi
ng"

Muzi
:"ourhousedoesl
ookmor
eamazi
ngwi
thy
oui
nit
."

Il
aughandhechuckl
es

Muzi
:"Comei
am sur
ethef
oodi
sready
."

Me:
"Ok"

Hel
eadust
otheDi
ningr
oom andt
hef
oodwasal
readysetup.

Me:
"Whatdoy
oudof
oral
i
ving?"

Isaywhi
lehehelpsmychairi
nandIthankhi
m.Suchagent
leman.Landi
swast
opi
t.Thi
sis
Menzi'
sbrot
her
.Remeberthatpl
ease!

Menzi
:"Iam i
ntotownPlani
ngalsostudi
edArchi
tect
ure,IhaveaAr
chi
tect
urecompanyand
ownafewhotelsandLodges,st
udentaccomodat
ionsespecial
l
yUKZN.Yepthat
spret
tymuch
sumsupthi
ngs"

Me:
"Youar
ereal
l
ysuccessf
ul,
howol
dar
eyout
osucceedal
loft
his?
"

Iwasr
eal
l
ycur
iousandhechuckl
ed.

Muzi
:"Iam notaboutt
orev
eal
myage."

Me:
"Hawuf
oral
lweknowy
oucoul
dbe40"

Isaidandhechuckles.AChefcameandi
ntr
oducedhi
msel
fandt
oldust
hedi
sh.I
twasGar
li
c
breadandGizzal
ds.Ilovet
hose.

Me:
"ni
ce,
youwer
esay
ingMr?
"

Hechuckl
ed.

Muzi
:"i
am 31,
youshoul
dknowsi
ncey
ouandMuzi
"

Me:
"Wel
lhet
oldmet
hebi
rt
hdat
enott
heaget
hough"

Heshookhi
shead.

Muzi
:"Justsayy
ouar
eint
erest
edi
nme"

51
Hesai
dwi
thasmi
rkonhi
sfaceandi
shy
edaway

Me:
"iam maki
ngconv
ersat
ionr
eal
l
y"

Iatethebr
ead.Wechatt
edabi t
.Thatwasourst
art
er.Themai
ncour
secameandi
twas
seafoodpl
att
er.I
nter
est
ingChange.

Muzi
:"i
hav
ehear
daboutNt
ombi
'
sdr
eam butwhatabouty
our
s.?
"

Ikeptqui
et.

Me:
"mydr
eamsdi
edaf
terf
ini
shi
nghi
ghschool
"

Muzi
:"whatdi
dyouwantt
obe?
"

Hesai
dlooki
ngatme.Hehast hi
stendencyofl
ooki
ngatmewhenwear
eeat
ingandt
alki
ng.
Hej
uststopseat
ingandf
ocusesonme.

Me:"Wellatf
ir
sti
dr eamtofbei
ngateacherwheni wasachi
ld.Iguessit
sev er
ygirl
spl
ay
dr
eam (chuckl
e)thenasi gr
ewbyageof12i dreamtofbei
ngaDrsav ingli
veslookedi
deal
to
me."

Muzi
:"whatdoy
ouwantt
obe?
"

Real
l
ythel
astt
imei
thoughtoft
hatwasy
ear
sago.

Me: "Il
oveIT.Ev
ent
houghweneverhaditatschoolbutilovedanyt
hingwit
hcomputer
sand
cri
memov i
esmademybloodr
ush.Reasearchandall
.Idon'tknowhowt oputi
tbuti
lov
e
computers"

Muzi
:"l
i
keaPr
ivat
einv
est
igat
or"

Me:
"yeahl
i
ket
hat"

i
car
ri
edoneat
ing

Muzi
:"i
fyouwer
egi
venachancet
omakey
ourdr
eamscomet
ruewoul
dyout
akei
t?"

Il
ookedathi
m.

Me:"wit
hbothhands.Iwoul
dn'
tleti
tgoandmakesur
eImadet
hemostofi
tbecauseGogo
andNtombidependonme."

Henoddedandwechat
tedaboutotherthingsbeingint
hepresenceofMuzi i
squi
etr
efr
eshi
ng.
Wepackedupandwewashedt hedishestogether.I
twasf
unr eal
lyandendesupmessi
ngthe
ki
tchenwhenwehadawaterf
ight.Wecl eanedup.

Me:
"iam wet,
whatam i
goi
ngt
owear?
"

52
Hepi
ckedmeup

Me:
"Muzi
putmedown,
Itsal
lyourf
aul
t"

Muzi
:"y
ouar
ejustgonnachange."

Wegottoaroom.Itwasbig.Biggert
hanourhomeev en.Heputmedownont hebedand
di
sappear
edtothecloset
.It
ookt heti
metolookaroundther
oom.Itsmel
tli
kehim andi
twas
dar
kgreywit
hblackandwhite.Hecamebackallchangedcarr
yinghi
swetclot
hesandother
s
andhehandssweatsandatshirttome.

Muzi
:"y
oucanchangei
ntot
hesewhi
l
eIor
gani
sesomeonet
ogetnewcl
othesf
ory
ou."

Me:"t
heQueeni
sgonnaki
l
lme.Iam supposedt
obeatwor
k.Youar
eabadi
nfl
uenceMr
Qwabe"

Muzi:
"(chuckl
i
ng)goChangebef
orei
cal
lMaDl
ams.Whatt
imedoesPumpki
ncomeout
f
rom school
?"

Me:
"ar
ound2t
her
e"

i
sai
dwal
ki
ngt
othebat
hroom andhenoddedandi
goti
nandchanged.

Igotout

*
MUZI
*

Landi
swawentt
ochangei
nthebathr
oom andit
ookmyphoneandcall
edMom iknowshewi
l
l
bi
temyheadoff
.It
sQueenNomalangaaf
teral
l
.Itri
ngst
wiceandsheanswer
s.

Me:
"iam sor
ry"

Isayf
ir
st

Mom :
"usumhl
abewazewangakwazi
ukuhamba(y
ouf
uckedhert
il
lshecoul
dn'
twal
k)"

Tr
ustMom t
osayt
hat

Me:
"Nondl
ovukazi
"

53
Mom :
"iwantheri
ntomorr
ow Muzi,Yourbr
otheri
sget
ti
ngdi
schar
gedt
hisaf
ter
noon.Iwant
youal
latt
heapart
mentandnofi
ght
ing."

Me:
"dowehav
etodot
hat?
"

Mom :
"yey
iwenaungangi
sangani
si!(Don'
tdr
ivemecr
azy!
!)18:
00shar
p"

shehungup.Iknowt
hatsheisnotpl
ayi
ngf
oronebit.Landi
swacameout.Damm t
hose
sweat
shol
dhersobeaut
if
ull
yandgivi
ngmeaboner.Shewaslooki
ngathersel
f

Landi
swa:
"It
hinki
str
etchedy
oursweat
s"

Youdi
dmor
ethanst
ret
chi
ngt
hat
.Shewokesomet
hingsup

Landi
swa:
"Hel
l
o,Muzi
kay
ise"

Shewav
edhert
inyhandsi
nfr
ontofme.

Me:
"huhy
ouwer
esay
ing?"

Landi
swa:
"whyy
ougot
tabet
hishotmar
a"

shecov
eredhermout
handi
chuckl
ed.Soshet
hinksi
am hot

Me:
"wow"

Landi
swa:
"di
disayt
hatoutl
oud.It
houghti
twasi
nmyhead"

i
wentcl
osert
oherandhel
dherwai
st.Shewasshor
tert
hanme.

Me:
"Tobef
airy
ouar
ebeaut
if
ul"

shesmi l
edandilower
edmyheadandi pl
acedmylipsonherandiki
ssedher,Sheresponded
quietwel
landwasonhert oes.Icouldfeelmyhardgrowmoreasthiski
ssisgett
ingheated.
Shemoansi nmymouthandt hatmademat ter
sworse.Herhandgoestomychestandi am so
temptednottot
akeherthereandt here.I
tgoestomycockandi gr
oan.

Me:
"Shi
t!"

Shebr
eaksi
t.

Landi
swa:
"If
eeldi
zzy"

SheholdsherheadandIchuckl
e.ItakeherhandandwegoandwatchaMoviebef
orethe
cl
othesforherar
ri
ved.It
akethem andshegoesandchangesandof
ftof
etchPumpkin

I
NSERTNI
NE

54
.

*MUZI*

At2pm wewer ebythegateofNtombi'

sschool st
andingoutsi
demycarjustsoshecanspot
usreal
quick.Thebel
lrangandallt
heki
dsstartedcomingout
.Ipul l
edLandiswat omeasi
can'
tkeepmyhandst omy sel
fwheniam aroundt hi
swoman.Igetherbet weenmyl egsand
ki
sshercheek.Icoul
dseebyt hewayshelooksthatsheisNervousandi
sscar ed.Iwhisper
i
ntoherear.

Me:
"Il
ovey
oubey
ondany
thi
ng"

Landi
swa:
"Hay
iMuzi
"

Sherepri
midsbuticanseethesmi l
ecreepuponherf aceassheblushes.Ichuckl
eonmy
own.IlookupandweseeNt ombiwal ki
ngoutlooki
ngallgloomyandsurelyhadherfai
rshar
e
ofaroughdayunli
kemewhohadt hemostamazingtimejustspendi
ngitwithMyLum lum.
Landi
swaGet sof
fmygr i
pandrushest oherandiam behindher
.Shecrunchedandcaptures
her.

Landi
swa:
"Heybabygi
rl"

Shei
ssi
l
ent
.Oki
knowi
hav
en'
tknownNt
ombi
thatl
ongbutsheseemsl
i
ket
het
alkat
ivet
ype.

Me:
"Pumpki
n"

Shel
ooksupt omeandismi l
eatherandshegetsofLandiswa'
sholdandr unsi
nf r
ontofme
andipi
ckherupandshelay
sherheadonmyshoul der
.Iam notevenmindingthatshewil
l
makemywhi tet-
shi
rtCr
eamy.Ihearhersni
ffandsheholdsmet i
ghterwheni t
rytomakeher
l
ookatme.

Nt
ombi
:"doy
ouhav
eyourmom anddad?
"

Me:
"Yespumpki
nido."

Nt
ombi
:"(cr
ying)Whydon'
tihav
eone.Am i
am abadchi
l
d?"

Il
ookt
oLandi
swaandshei
sbi
tt
inghernai
l
s

55
Landi
swa:
"Nobabygi
rly
ouar
enotabadchi
l
d.Meandgogol
ovey
ou"

Shel
i
ftsherhead.

Nt
ombi
:"Doesy
ourmom l
ovey
out
oo?
"

Landi
swaburst
sint
otear
s.Iwal
ktoherandi
pul
lhert
omeandengul
fherwi
thmyonear
m
whil
etheot
herhasNtombi

Me:"LookPumpki n,LaahandGogoloveyouverymuch.That
swhyt heywil
ldoany
thi
ngto
makey ouhappy.Justli
keme,iwoulddoany t
hingtomakeyouandLum l
um happy
.Iloveyou
anddon'tl
etotherkidstel
lyouthatnoonelov
esy ouory
ouareabadchil
dok?Youar ean
angel
mypumpki n"

Shesmi
l
ed.

Me:
"Nowki
sst
hecheekandwi
pet
het
ear
s"

Shewi
peshert
ear
sandki
ssesmycheekandhugsmet
oo.

Nt
ombi
:"Il
ovey
ouBear"

Iev
enf
orgoti
hadt
hatname

Me:
"Il
ovey
oupumpki
n"

Landi
swal
ookedatusandi
wentt
oputNt
ombi
att
hebackandt
ookLandi
swai
ntomyar
ms
andshebr
okedown..

Me:
"Shhhi
tsok"

Landi
swa:
"Wedon'
tdeser
vey
ourki
ndnessMuzi
"

Me: "Youdef
ini
tel
ydocauseil
oveyouandNtombi aswell.Idon'
treal
l
ycareabouty ourliv
ing
sit
uati
onbecauseicanseet
hatmakesyouuncomfortabl
eatt i
mesbutbecausei seebey ond
thatandseethi
syoungwomanIam fal
l
ingforhust
lingforsurvi
val
.Youarestrong..
...
."

Sheper
kedmyl
i
ps.

Landi
swa:
"Thanky
ou,
forev
ery
thi
ngy
ouhav
edonet
hisf
ar"

Me:
"It
sst
il
ltooear
lyt
osayt
hat"

Landi
swa:
"Let
sgohomeQwabe"

Iopenedt
hedoorf orherandshegotinandi wenttomysi deandidroveoffpl
ayi
ngmusi
c.
Themoodinthecarwasbecomi ngli
ghter
.Nt ombisl
eptinthecaraft
erigotherMcDonal
d'
s
thr
oughdr
iveThr
u.Wegott ot
heirnei
ghborhoodandi heldLandi
swa' shandandpar
ked

56
upf
rontt
hegat
e

Landi
swa:
"Heehy
ouwantMaDl
amsony
ournecki
see"

Ichuckl
e

Me:
"May
be"

igotoutandpeopl
ewer
ewat
chi
ngourdi
rect
ion.Iopenedt
hedoorf
orherandwentt
otake
Ntombi.

Landi
swa:
"Iwi
l
ltakeher"

Me:
"don'
twor
ryi
gother"

Landi
swa:
"Shei
smessi
ngupy
ourt
op".

Thi
swomani
sst
ubbor
n.

Me: "Youknowwewi
l
lst
andher
eal
ldayandar
gueaboutt
hisandi
don'
tmi
ndbutNt
ombi
needstorest"

Shesi
ghedandbi
therbot
tonl
i
ptur
ningmeon.

Me:
"Don'
tdot
hat"

Landi
swa:
"What?
".

Shepl
umpedherl
i
pst
wice

Me:
"Bi
tt
ingy
ourbot
tom l
i
p,i
tdoesunexpl
ainabl
ethi
ngst
ome"

Shel
ooksdownandmeet
smyhar
diwal
ktowar
dst
heent
rance

Landi
swa:
"oh,
sor
ry"

Shecl
earshert
hroatandal
readysheisred.Iknow.Shewalksinandknocksonceonthedoor
andseemsli
kepeoplearet
alki
ng.Thereisa"comein"shoutedandsheopensandbreat
hsin
anout.

Landi
swa:
"Sani
bonani
"

MaDl
ams:
"Mkhweny
ana,
awuAngi
sakwazi(Mysoni
nlaw,
itshasbeenami
nut
e)"

Thet
wowomenl
ookatmef
rom headt
otoeandst
artt
otal
kamoungstt
hemsel
ves

MaDl
ams:
"Landi
swat
akeNt
ombi
andgomaket
eaf
orhi
m"

Me:
"wat
eri
sfi
ne"

57
Shenods

MaDlams:"uMkhweny
anawami
loh.Bambi
zai
sokal
i
kal
andi
swaLoh(t
hisi
sLandi
swa'
s
boy
fri
end)"

i
chuckl
e

Women:
"oh"

Landi
swa:
"gogo!
"

MaDl
ams:
"what?"

Landi
swa:
"youar
eembar
rassi
ngme"

Il
i
keMaDl
amsal
ot.Landi
swagoest
otheki
tchenandcomesbackwi
tht
hewat
er.

Landi
swa:
"Wedon'
thav
ecol
dwat
er"

Shel
ookeddown

Me:
"it
'sok"

Idr
ankupandshet
ookt
hegl
assawayandcameback

Landi
swa:
"Iwi
l
lbeback"

MaDl
ams:
"ohok"

Me:
"Ni
sal
ekahl
e(st
aywel
l)"

Theot
hert
wowomenNodandLandi
swat
akesmyhand.

Landi
swa:
"iam sor
ryaboutwhathappenedi
nther
e"

Me:
"don'
tbesor
ryaboutany
thi
ng.Comecl
oser"

Shedi
d.

Me:
"iwannaki
ssy
oubutwear
einf
rontofy
ourgr
andmot
her
shouse"

Shegi
ggl
es

Landi
swa:
"Come"

Shetakesmyhandandpul
l
smet
othebackandi
n10f
eetawayf
rom ust
her
eisabanana
tr
ee.

Landi
swa:
"Come"

58
Shepul
l
smeandi chucklewhil
elooki
ngather
.Wegeti
nsideandsheisbr
eat
hingwhi
l
elooki
ng
atme.Ifeel
li
keateenageri
nloveatthemoment
.Shestepscloser.

Landi
swa:
"wenoti
nfr
ontoft
hehouseany
mor
e"

Ipul
lhertomeandi ki
ssherwithpassionnotlust,
ourli
psint
ert
winingwhi l
eidev ourherl
ips
asshedevoursmine.Icoul
dfeel mysel
fgett
inghar
derbytheminuteandt hel
ovei haveforher
i
sgrowingrapidl
yinseconds.Ipickherupandshecrossesherl
egsar oundmyt orsoandi pi
n
heronthetr
ee.Mycocki sdi
rectedtoherfl
owerandshemoansandi groanbeforeshebreaks
theki
ss.

Landi
swa:
"(shor
tnessof
fbr
eat
h)l
etusst
opher
ebef
orey
ouhav
emei
nthi
str
eeGumede"

Isweari
tsl
i
kemyhear
twasj
umpi
ngf
orj
oy.

Me:
"(smi
rki
ng)Ubani
uGumede?(
Whoi
sGumede?
)

Shebl
ushesandshebur
iesherf
aceonmychest

Me:
"(l
aughi
ng)Andshebl
ushes"

Sher
aisesherf
aceandshehi
tsmyshoul
der
.

Landi
swa:
"Am not"

Me:
"(smi
l
ing)Il
ovey
ou"

Igi
veheraperkbef
oresheanswer
sback..Idon'
twanthert
otal
kbuti
wantt
oshowhermy
l
oveforher.Il
ookather,Goddamnsheisjustper
fect

*MENZI*

Ireall
ydon'tf eelt
hisdi
nnert hati
sabouttohappen, idon'
tknowifweei l
lhaveacivil
isedone
oreillweendupf i
ghti
ngagai nwithMuzi.Wear etot
all
ydiff
erent,MeandMuzi t
obeexact .I
am theki ndofpersonwhoi sme, openbookbynat ur
eandy ouknowmyt empersandal l.
Muzi isn'
tlikethatcheisli
ket heShytwint
haty outhi
nkist
geonet hatcan'tst
andupf or
themsel v
eswheni nallhonestyheisthedangerousone.Oncehest ri
kes,hesur eleavesa
Mar k.Hei ssweetbutoncey oucrosshi
sli
ney ouareadeadMan.Aknockcomesi nand

59
Mbal
ipopsherhead

Mbal
i:
"yourmot
heri
sher
ebaby
."

Me:
"iam comi
ng"

Shenodsandgoesout
.Igetupandi
walkout.,Mychestst
il
lpai
nshereandt
herebuti
t'
sokay
.
Igetdownthest
air
sandsheisonmycouchsippi
ngwinewit
hMbalihavi
ngJui
ce

Mom :
"your
eadyt
obeQueen?
"

Mbal
i:
"Mor
ethanany
thi
ng"

Mom :"it
sni
tpapandVlai
syouknoeit
shardwork.Youneedt
ogui
deandsuppor
tyour
husband'
sdeci
sionsaski
ngandheadoft
hehouse"

Mbal
i:
"iUnder
standMah"

Me:
"Ndl
ovukazi
"

Shest
andsupr
eal
l
yqui
ckl
y

Mom :
"ohmybaby,
Howar
eyou?"

Me:
"it
snot
hingi
can'
thandl
e"

Mom :
"kodwaNaweudl
alangenganey
abant
u(Buty
oupl
ayedwi
thanot
hergi
rl
shear
t)"

Me:
"mah"

Sherai
sedherhandsi
ntheai
rasasignofsurr
enderi
ng.Isatdownandthebel
lrangandMbal
i
wenttoopen,shecamebackwi t
hMuzi
.Justthethoughtofhi
mfucki
ngLandi
swagetsmy
bl
oodboil
ing.Hegoesandkissesmom'
scheek.

Mom :
"andi
thoughty
ouwoul
dn'
tcome"

Muzi
:"andr
iskbei
ngki
l
ledbyy
oumyQueen,
Not
hanky
ou"

Mom l
aughed

Mom :
"at
leasty
ouknowi
am capabl
e"

Theyl
aughed

Muzi
:"Br
o"

Inodded

Mbal
i:
"Uhm si
ncewear
eal
lher
e,Let
sgot
otheot
hersi
deandhav
edi
nner"

60
Mom :"Yuuhi
am Fami
shedMakot
i,i
hopet
hosehel
per
satt
hepal
acear
enotf
eedi
ngmy
husbandwozawoza"

Theyl
aughed.Iwasnotgoi
ngt
opr
etendt
hatmybr
otheri
sn'
tfucki
ngmygi
rl
.

*
LANDI
SWA*

Muzi,Whycan'
tthi
smangetoutofmymind? Maybei
tsinthewayheholdsme, t
hewayhe
ki
ssesme, t
hewayhesayshelov
esmemakesmef eelsecuredandpr
otect
ed.It
ouchmy
chestandf
eelmyhear
trat
eandit
'sgoi
ngfastj
ustbythi
nkingofhim.

MaDl
ams:
"ei
!Wakeupbef
orey
ouar
elat
e"

Shegi vesNtombi herpor

idge.Icl
eanupandtheni goandtakeabat hafterthat
.Asi am
dressingint
omybl ackdresswit
hhighheel
sandi t
iedmyhair, Ihearv
oicesandonedeepone.
Iquicklyspr
aysomeper f
umeandr ushoutandseegogolaughingandNt ombial
readyonhi
s
l
ap.Myhear tski
psabeatandi tfeel
sli
keit
smyf i
rstti
mel ayi
ngmyey esonhim.

Muzi
:"GochangePumpki
nsowecangety
out
oschool
ont
ime"

Whyshoul
dNt
ombi
change?Shei
sal
readyi
nherschool
uni
for
m.

Me:
"Hi
"

Gogo:
"yuuhhay
iLandi
swaut
hol
eindodaemadodeni
lah(onecl
ap)"

Muzi
looksatmewi
thaSmi
rkandi
blush

Gogo:
"iwi
l
lcheckonNt
ombi
,gi
vehi
m aki
ssny
anadon'
tbor
e"

Me:
"Gogoy
oh!
"

Muzi
chuckl
eswhi
l
eshedi
sappear
s

Me:
"it
snotf
unny"

Muzi
:"(
standi
ngup)wel
li
tis,
wozauzomanqaza(Comeki
ss)"

Me:
"idon'
tknowwhatwear
edoi
ngbutay
i"

61
Hechuckl
esandst
epscl
oser
.

Muzi
:"Iknow"

Hehol
dsmywai
standl
aysaper
k.

Gogo:
"Wear
ecomi
ngnow,
let
snotf
indy
ousucki
ngeachot
her
sface"

Yoht
hisgr
annyi
sgonnabet
hedeat
hofme.Muzi
chuckl
es

Me:
"youenj
oyi
t"

Muzi
:"Shei
scool
"

Me:
"Mmh"

TheycomeoutandNtombii
sinadiff
erentschooluni
for
m.I t
sanav
yscor
tchdr
esswi
thwhi
te
socksandnewshoes.Shei
slooki
ngli
kethoserichschool
kids.

Muzi
:"y
oul
ookbeaut
if
ulpumpki
n"

Herhai
rwasneat
lydone.I
sthi
smyNt
ombi
?

Gogo:
"Takey
ourbagsoy
ouwon'
tbel
ateony
ourf
ir
stday"

Muzi
:"herst
ati
onar
yisi
nthecarandherot
heronesar
egi
venatschool
"

Me:
"whatschool
?"

Gogo:
"Nt
ombi
isgoi
ngt
ogot
othosepr
ivat
eschool
snowal
lthankst
oMkhweny
ana"

Me:
"wow"

Iwal
kedout.Idon'twantMuzit
ost
artdoingt
hingsforusorany
onefort
hatmat
ter
.Wedon'
t
wantt
hei
rhel
p.Ifeelahandgr
ipmyarm andbyhisscentiknowi
tshi
m.

Muzi
:"Iknowi
shoul
dhav
espokent
oyouaboutt
his"

i
tur
nedar
ound

Me:"yesy
oushoul
dhav
eMuzi
,idon'
tl
ikepeopl
edoi
ngt
hingsf
orus.Theywi
l
lfeel
ent
it
ledi
n
ourl
iv
es"

Muzi:
"Iam sor
ryLum l
um ,
Iam notdoi
ngitbecauseiwannaowny
oubutbecausei
lov
eyou
andIl
oveNtombili
kemyownchild.Pl
easeunderstand"

Me:
"(
sigh)i
don'
twantt
hist
obi
teme"

Muzi
:"I
twon'
t"

62
heper
kedmyl
i
ps.

Gogo:
"Yey
ini
nanowut
wo,
youar
egonnabel
ate!
"

Shecanshout
.

Nt
ombi
:"By
egogo"

Gogo:
"yougonnal
earnpr
operengli
shnow.Tel
lyourt
eacher
sdon'
tbr
inghomewor
kori
wil
l
br
ingmywashingf
orhert
owasht oschool
".

Wel
aughed

Me:
"Gogono,
Homewor
kisf
orhel
pingt
heki
dspr
act
icewhatt
heyl
ear
nedatschool
"

Gogo:
"Ay
ithesewhi
tepeopl
ear
epl
ayi
ng"

Muzi
:"weshoul
dleav
e,Cani
hav
ethem ont
heweekend?"

Il
ookathi
m

Nt
ombi
:"y
esgogo"

Gogo:
"sur
e"

Nt
ombi
squeel
ed

Muzi
:"t
hanky
ou"

Nt
ombi
wav
edagai
nandwegoti
nthecarandi
tdr
oveof
f.Nt
ombi
wasexci
tedr
eal
l
y

Muzi
:"ei
shi
didn'
tbr
ingl
unchf
orher"

Nt
ombi
:"Ist
il
lhav
emyt
wor
andf
orGwi
nya"

Wechuckl
ed

Me:
"iwi
l
lgi
vey
oumoney
"

Muzi
:"noi
wil
lcal
lMar
vint
omakesomet
hingf
orherandhav
eitdel
i
ver
edl
uncht
ime"

Me:
"youdon'
thav
etodot
hat"

Muzi
:"r
elaxandl
etmet
akecar
eofy
ou"

Nt
ombi
:"y
esLum l
um r
elaxandl
etDaddyt
akecar
eofy
ou"

Il
aughed

Me:
"wher
edi
dyouheart
hat?"

63
Shegi
ggl
ed.

Nt
ombi
:"SoBearatschool
theywi
l
lknowWhomydaddyi
sri
ght?"

Me:
"huh?"

Nt
ombi
:"shh"

Me:
"ok"

Muzi
:"y
epi
fyouwant"

Nt
ombi
:"ok,
iwi
l
lcal
lyouDaddyf
rom nowonBear
"

Me:
"(onecl
ap)Your
oll
i
ngMrQwabeneh"

Hewassmi
l
ingahugesmi
l
e

Muzi
:"i
lov
eyoupumpki
n"

Nt
ombi
:"i
lov
eyout
oodaddy"

Heehay
ithi
sbondi
stoost
rong.

Muzi
:
"(whi
sper)y
ouknowi
canmakey
ousayt
hatt
oo"

Me:
"how?
"

Muzi
:"t
hedayi
makel
ovet
oyouandhi
tthatgoodspot
"

Hesay sl
i
cki
nghisli
ps.Thi
smanohmyGod andi am i
magini
nghi m makinglovetome.
Landiswagetoutofther
e.Il
ookupf rontandhechuckl es.Wereacht heschoolanditl
ooks
amazi ng,Nt
ombi wassohy pedup.Theki dsseenedniceandr espectfulaswel
l.Ever
ythi
ng
wasamazi ng,iwashappyf orher.Everyt
hingwasdoneandwet ookhert ocl
ass.Her
teacherwasWhiteandnice,shewashappyandi washappytoo.Wel eftherwhenshewas
settl
ed.

Me:
"shel
ookssohappy"

Muzi
:"t
hat
swhati
lov
etosee"

Me:
"thanky
ou,
Thoughi
wil
laskhowy
ougotf
astenr
oll
mentbutt
hanky
ouf
ornow"

Muzi
:"i
tsj
ustt
hest
art"

64
.

I
NSERTTEN

*
MUZI*

Me:
"Takecar
eoft
hismessSpace"

Space:
"ShoshoBozza"

Iwentoutoftheroom wi
pingofft
hebl
oodonmyhandsandmyphoner
angandi
tooki
toutof
mypocket.Ismil
edandwal kedtowar
dsmycarandigeti
n.

Me:
"St
handwasam "

65
Landi
swa:
"MyPr
incey
ouar
etooaheadofy
our
sel
f"

Me:
"Nhl
i
ziy
oyam "

Landi
swa:
"Wear
enotev
endat
ing"

Ichuckl
e.I
tfr
ust
rat
esheratt
imes.

Me:
"Oki
am sor
ryke.Howi
syourdaygoi
ng?
"

Landi
swa:"Hel
l,Iam gl
adt
her
ear
eaf
ewhour
slef
tbef
oreknockof
fthenwecangof
etch
Ntombi"

Me:
"Mmhok.Di
dyougetmydel
i
ver
y?"

Shei
ssi
l
entabi
t.Igetwor
ri
ed

Me:
"Lum l
um "

Landi
swa:
"(si
gh)Youspoi
lmet
oomuchMuzi
"

Me:
"Iam notspoi
l
ingy
ou"

Landi
swa:
"Thenwhati
sitcal
l
edke?"

Me:
"Iam l
ovi
ngy
ou"

Shei
ssi
l
entagai
n

Landi
swa:
"Letmegobef
orey
ourbr
otherki
l
lsme"

Me:
"Iwi
l
lki
l
lhi
m"

Landi
swa:
"Awoay
ouwoul
dn'
tdar
edosuch.Youar
enotl
i
ket
hatBear"

I
fonl
ysheknewhowmanyl
i
vesi
hav
etaken,
Incl
udi
ngt
heonei
justt
ook

Me:
"Letmegoandf
etchNt
ombi
,iwi
l
lbet
her
eSoon"

Landi
swa:
"Ok,
Mncwaa!Gumede"

Igroan.Goshdoessheknowhowmuchef fectt hathasonme.Ihangupt hecal landi dri

veoff
home.IgetthereandMartinismakingsomet hingtoeat.Mymai dcomesi nonceaweek
becauseili
vealone.Ial
way shaveachefthoughbecauseofwor ki
ngandmom i nsistedsince
idon'thavea"Wife"asyetbutsooni wi
ll
.Ir unupt hestai
rsandi takeashower .In30
minutesNtombi i
sgonnabeoutofschool f
r om herMusi ccl
ass.Yesmusi cclass.Idon'tpay
R150000ay earfornot
hing.Thereareallkindsofact i
vi
ti
esandshewant stodot hem allat
thesamet i
mebutwemadeherchooseandshet ookthemusicrouteandpl aysnet ballaswel
l.
Igotoutoftheshowerandwr appedmy sel
fi nat owel.Idri
edmy selfandtheni l
otioned.I

66
woremyni kesneakers(black)t
oppedof fwit
hablackPol
onecksi
nceitscol
dtodayandthen
woreblackjeans.Mychai nwasther
et oo.Agoldone.Il
ookedatmy sel
fandilookedgood.I
t
ookmyphoneandr usheddownthestair
sandt hent
ookmycarkeystotheRangeRov ersi
nce
iam pl
anningont akingNtombioutt
il
lLandiswaKnocksoff
.

Me:
"Youcant
aket
heweekendof
fMar
ti
n"

Mar
ti
n:"Thanky
ousi
r"

Inoddedandt
henwal
kedoutandgoti
nmycaranddr
oveof
f

Nt
ombi
:"Daddybear"

Shel
eftherbagont
hef
loorandJumpedonme.

Me:
"HeyPumpki
n,howi
sschool
?"

Nt
ombi
:"I
tsamazi
ng.Il
ovei
tDaddy"

Shesmi
l
es.Soador
abl
e

Me:"iam gl
adyouli
kei
t.Let
sgot
othemal
landspendsomet
imet
oget
herbef
oref
etchi
ng
Lum l
um f
rom wor
k"

Nt
ombi
:"Ok"

Shebobblesherhead.Ipi
ckherbagupandi walkedtothebootandputi
tinther
eandgotherin
thebackandshebuckleduphersel
fthenigotinthefr
ontanddroveofft
othemall.Wespent
somet i
mewat chi
bgaMov ieandiboughtt
oy sforher
.Sheissuchagrat
eful
andcaringchi
l
d.
Wewentt oeatandhav ei
cecream andiam enj
oy i
ngever
yminutewit
hherbefor
ewewentt o
fet
chLandiswa.

*LANDI
SWA*

Me:
"Yohi
can'
tmakei
tthi
sweekendchomi
"

67
Amanda:
"ay
i,Yousai
dyouwant
edt
opar
ty"

Me:
"Ihav
echangedmymi
nd.Let
shav
elunchSat
urday"

Amanda:
"Andy
ahy
ouar
epay
ing"

Me:
"Ihav
etogoke.Lov
eyoul
ots"

Amanda:
"lov
eyout
obabes"

Ihungupandi
fel
tsomeonebehi
ndme.

"Iam sor
ry"

It
urned

Me:
"About?
"

Menzi
:"Sl
appi
ngy
ouandnotbei
nghonest"

Me:
"sur
e.Iam pastt
hat"

Hehol
dsmyhand,i
snat
chi
tof
fhi
s

Menzi
:"Landi
swai
lov
eyou"

Me:
"Menzi
youcr
ushedmyl
ovef
ory
ou,
you!
"

Menzi
:"cal
m down"

i
breat
hedi
nandout

Me:
"ihav
etogo"

Ipackedupandt
ookmybag

Menzi
:"soy
ouar
eFucki
ngmybr
other"

It
urnedsndsl
appedhi
m.Hecl
enchedhi
sjaws

Me:
"Iam notl
i
key
ou.Idon'
tst
oopt
hatl
owNx"

Ipushedhim andwal
kedout.Tothinkil
ovedsuchaJerk.Igotdownandwalkedoutoft
he
bui
ldi
ngalreadysomepeopl
ewer egone.Itookoutmyphoneandsomeonetappedmy
shoulderanditwast
herecept
ioni
st.

Her:
"hi
,Thi
swasdel
i
ver
edf
ory
ou"

Me:
"oht
hanks"

68
It
ookt
hebox.GoshMuzispoi
l
smet
oomuchngeke.Isawhi
scarandwentt
oitandhe
j
umpedof
fandwehugged.

Muzi
:"y
oul
ookwor
kedup"

Me:
"idon'
twannat
alkabouti
t"

Muzi
:"di
didosomet
hingwr
ong?
"

Me:
"no"

Igoti
nandhesighed.Hecl
osedt
hedoorandNt
ombi
wasasl
eephol
dingahugeassuni
cor
nat
theback.Muzi
gotin

Me:
"andt
hest
uff
edcr
eat
ure?
"

Muzi
:"wewentshoppi
ngwhi
l
ewai
ti
ngf
ory
ou"

Me:
"it
hinky
oushoul
ddat
eher"

Hechuckl
edwhi
l
edr
ivi
ngof
f

Muzi
:"j
eal
ousmuch?
"

Me:
"notatal
lshame"

Hechuckl
ed

Me:
"youshoul
dst
opsendi
nggi
ft
sGumede"

Hesmi
l
ed.Hel
ovesi
twheni
cal
lhi
m byhi
scl
anname.

Muzi
:"i
fyoukeepont
urni
ngmeon,
imi
ghtnotmakei
ttot
he90dayr
ule"

Il
aughed

Me:
"andwhot
oldy
ouaboutt
hatr
ule?
"

Muzi
:"i
justknow"

Me:
"mmmh"

Iki
ssedhi
scheek

Me:
"that
ssweetMrQwabe,
Manywoul
dhav
ewant
edal
readyory
ouget
ti
ngi
tsomewher
e?"

Ir
aisedmybr
owandhel
aughed

Muzi
:"Damnwomannah,
Iwanti
ttobey
our
sonl
y"

69
Iblushed.ThisguyMar aJesu, l
ikewhendi dwegett othispointsofastqui ck.Hedr ovetohis
housesi ncehet ookourCl othesi nthemorning.Healway sdriv
esust oschool andwor kand
back.SengabauMr sinthef rontseatofhi
scar s.Istil
lcan'tgetoverhowbeaut i
fuliti
s.Stil
l
can'tbelievethatMaDl amini agreedtothi
s.Shei sat oughcookie, it
hinkshel ikesMuzi .We
getoffandhehasNt ombi inhisar msandi fol
lowwi t
ht hestuff
edanimal .Hesay sheWi ll
fet
ch
herothert oyslat
er.Istil
lhav emybox.Wegoupt hestair
sandent erapur pleroom .I t
sso
beautifulandgirl
y,Butterf
liesandal landthefreshnessoft heroom i
st here.Hepl acesheron
thebedandt akesoffhershoesandput sapinkf l
eeceont opofherani putthedol lonthepink
smal lcouch.

Me:
"wowi
tsso.
..
..
."

Muzi
:"wi
l
lshel
i
kei
t?Igott
hedesi
gnert
odoi
tint
woday
ssot
hatNt
ombi
canset
tl
ein."

Me:
"it
sbeaut
if
ul"

Hewi
pesmyt
ear
sandhol
dsmycheeks.

Muzi
:"don'
tcr
y"

Me:
"ij
ustdon'
tknow howi
wil
lrepayy
ouf
orev
ery
thi
ngy
ouhav
edone"

Muzi
:"i
am doi
ngi
touti
fmyhear
t"

Heki
ssesmyl
i
psandi
dev
ourhi
saswel
l
.Damnt
hismanget
smybodyt
ingl
i
ngev
eryt
ime.We
br
eaki
toff
.

Muzi
:"comel
etmeshowy
ouy
ourr
oom "

Wewal
kedoutandwentt
othenextdoorr
oom andi
twashi
sroom

Me:
"thi
sisy
ourr
oom Nj
e"

Muzi
:"i
tsour
s"

Me:
"iam nothav
ingsexwi
thy
ou"

Hel
aughed

Muzi
:"wewon'
thawu"

Hesmi
rked

Me"what?"

Muzi
:"y
ouar
ebeaut
if
ul"

Ibl
ushed

70
Me:
"thanky
ou"

Hi
sphoner
ang

Muzi
:"cani
taket
his?"

Me:
"sur
e"

Muzi
:"(ki
ssi
ngmyf
orehead)f
eel
athome"

hewal
kedout.Godbl
essMuzishame.It
ookof
fmyshoesandlai
donthebed.Ideci
dedt
o
openmygif
t.Iwascuri
ouswhatiti
sthi
sti
me.Isatupandi
tookoutt
henote

*
**Tot
hebel
l
e,v
amosport
i**
**

Whatt
hef
uckdoest
hatmean?I
sthi
sAf
ri
kaansorwhat?

Me:
"yohMuzi
"

Onecl
ap.Iopenedi
tandi
scr
eamedbef
orer
ushi
ngt
othebat
hroom dr
oppi
ngt
hebox.
..
..
..
.

I
NSERTELEVEN

71
Iwalkedoutoft
hebathr
oom andt
hef earhaski
ckedi
n.Whoi sthi
sman?Andwhati
sallof
thi
s.Myey esmethi
m asheeascr
utchingonthefl
oorl
ooki
ngatthecar
dandhemadeacalli
wenttotakemybagandwalkedout.Ievenfor
gotmyshoes.If
elthi
shandhol
dmyupperar
m.
Iyankeditof
f

Me:
"Don'
ttouchme!
!"

Muzi
:"Lum l
um hearmeout"

Me:
"ShutupMuzi
!Idon'
tev
erwannahearf
rom y
ouandst
ayawayf
rom us!
"

IwastoopenTheroom Nt
ombii
sinbuthepi
ckedmeupandputmeov
erhi
sshoul
der
.Iwas
scr
eamingandki
ckingf
orhimt
oputmedown

Me:
"(cr
yingandshout
ing)Muzi
leav
emet
hef
uckal
one!
!"

Hedidn'
tli
ster
ntome.Hegotint
othebedroom andheputmeont hebedandlockedthedoor
.
Il
ookeddownandrant
othebathr
oom andi v
omi t
ed.Icoul
dal
readysmel
li
t.Thetrauma.If
elt
hi
shandonmybackandimov edbackwhil
ecr y
ing

Me:
"Don'
ttouchme"

Muzi
:"Li
ster
ntomeLum l
um "

Me:
"Iwannagohome.Justdon'
tki
l
lme"

Hechuckl
ed.I
twasn'
tapl
easantone i
twasl
i
kea"Can'
tbel
i
evey
ouj
ustsai
dthat".

Muzi
:"Wow,
soy
out
hinkofmeasaki
l
ler"

Me:
"Whatdoy
ouwantmet
othi
nkaf
tery
ousentmeaboxwi
thaper
son'
shear
t!!

Muzi
:"Ev
eni
fiwasaki
l
lerwoul
dibest
upi
denought
osendt
hingsl
i
ket
hatt
oyou?!
"

Hei
sget
ti
ngangr
yandhi
stonei
snotni
ce

Me:
"(Cr
ying)Leav
emeal
oneMuzi

Hecr
ouchedi
nfr
ontofmeandi
mov
edbackandhesi
ghedandbr
ushedhi
sheadf
rust
rat
ed.

Muzi
:"Lum l
um "

It
urnedandt
hrewupi
nthet
oil
et.Ihav
enev
erseensomet
hingl
i
ket
hat

Me:
"Whodi
dyoumeant
osendi
tto?"

Muzi
:"Idi
dn'
tsendt
hat
.(si
gh)someonedi
d"

Me:
"Yeahr
ight,
opent
hedoori
don'
tev
erwannahearf
rom y
ouagai
n!"

72
Muzi
:"Lum l
um don'
tsayt
hat"

Me:
"Fucky
ouMuzi
ok!Just!"

Iwasshouti
ng.Justthethoughtofev
erythi
ngscar
eme.Whoi st
hismanandwhathav ei
gott
enmyselfi
nto.Hisphonerangandhest oodupanddleftt
hebathroom.Ij
ustwenttothe
doorandl
ockeditandisl
iddownandj ustcri
edwhil
erockingmyselfbackandfor
th.Ihear
da
knockonthedoor.

Muzi
:"Landi
swal
etmeexpl
ain.Idi
dn'
tsendt
hist
oyou.Iwoul
dnev
erhur
tyouandNt
ombi
.I
l
oveyou"

Iburst
edint
oashar
pcry.Whydoiwanttobel
i
evet hedevi
l,whydoi f
eell
ikeher
eal
lywon't
hurtuswhenact
ual
fact
saret
her
e.Iignor
edhisdoorbangsandpleadsformetoopenthe
door.

*
NARRATED*

MuziandMbal
iareont heirwaytotheKhanyi
saKingdom astheKi
nghassummondt hem ASAP.
Whenheheardaboutt heBoyssqabbleagai
nsteachotherhewasnotverypl
eased.Nomawas
al
sother
eandsickfrom thehungoverfr
om l
astni
ght.TheygotoutofthecarandThemai ds
cametotaket
heirbags.Mbalirubbedherst
omachasshel ookedar
ound.

Mbal
i:
"WowThi
sisamazi
ng.Yourhomel
ookswonder
ful
babe"

Menzi
wentandki
ssedhercheek.

Menzi
:"I
tsgonnabeourhomesoon.Ourki
ngdom.

Queen:
"ey
ist
opst
andi
ngt
her
eandcomei
nNi
nanowut
wo"

Theyl
aughedwalkedi
nsi
dethepalace.Thehugecul
tur
edhallwayf
il
ledwi
thpi
ctur
esofr
uler
s
whohaverul
edtheKhany
isaKingdom sincethebegi
nningofthet
ime.

73
Menzi
:"It
houghtwewer
ecomi
ngnextweek.Whydi
ddadsummonussosoon?
"

Queen:
"It
sbecausey
ouandy
ourbr
otherbeoneachot
her
'st
hroat
slat
ely,
wher
eishev
ele?"

Menzi
:"Pr
obabl
ywi
thhi
sgi
rl
fr
iend"

TheQueensmi led.MbaliwaspissedoffsowasMenzi .Menzi hatedthethoughtofMuziand

Landi
swatogetherandwasdet erminedseperat
ingthem.Start
ingwithrev
ealingMuzi '
sshady
pastandalsopossibi
l
ityofthefuture.Mbali
waspi ssedoffbecauseofhowMenzi her
husbandcheatedonherwi t
haCommoner .Shewaspr i
ncessfrom t
heLangel i
hleKi
ngdom.
Whatangershermor eishowhest il
llov
esthi
smi st
ress.

"Heybi
tches!
"

ThatwasNomawal
ki
ngdownt
hest
air
s

"ouch"sheexcl
aimedatherexcr
uci
ati
ngheadache.

Queen:
"Yourf
atherwon'
tbepl
easedwi
tht
hel
anguagey
ouar
eusi
ng"

"Andi
ain'
tpl
easedatal
l"

Adeepv
oiceechoedf
rom t
hepal
acepassages.Theyal
lbowasKi
ngQwabehasar
ri
ved.

Menzi
:"Phakat
hway
o"

Hesai
dtohi
sfat
her
.

Ki
ng:
"(l
ooki
ngar
ound)Wher
eisMuzi
kay
ise?"

Queen:
"Ical
l
edhi
m.Hewi
l
lbeher
esoon"

Ki
ng:
"Whenhear
ri
ves.IwantMenzi
,Makot
iandHi
minmyst
udy
.Youaswel
lNomaZul
u."

Noma:
"YesBaba"

Hewal
kedof
fleav
ingat
err
if
yingaur
aar
oundt
hem.

Noma:
"Yohi
am scar
ed"

Queen:
"St
oppar
tyi
ngNaweorwewi
l
lhav
eyoui
nanar
rangedMar
ri
age"

Noma:
"Ov
ermyt
ushmyQueen"

Sher
ushedout
.

Mbal
i:
"cani
li
edown.?
"

Menzi
:"Iwi
l
lshowy
ouy
ourr
oom baby"

74
TheQueenwentt
othedi
rect
iont
heKi
ngl
efti
nandt
heywentupt
hest
air
s.

Menzi
:"shoul
dipr
epar
ebat
hwat
erf
ory
ou?"

Mbal
i:
"No"

Shesai
dwi
thabi
tofanat
ti
tude

Menzi
:"whati
swr
ong?
"

Mbal
i:
"Youl
ovet
hatbi
tch!
"

Menzi
:"Shei
snotabi
tchanddon'
tshoutatme.Respectmei
am y
ourhusband"

Mbal
i:
"(chuckl
e)Husbandmyf
oot
.Letmesl
eep"

Shegoti
nbedandt
urnedt
heot
herway
.Menzi
huf
fedandwal
kedoutt
othepal
acegar
dent
o
cal
m down.

*MUZI*

Iknowwehavebeensummonedt othepalacebuti can'

tleav
ewhent hingsar
eli
kethi
s.
Landi
swahaslockedher
sel
finthebat
hroom forov
eranhournow.Nt ombihaswokenupand
wenttobat
h.Iam tyi
ngherhai
randiam doingadisaster
.Shelaughs.

Nt
ombi
:"Notl
i
ket
hatDaddybear"

Me:
"Okl
etmest
artal
lov
er"

Godhavi
ngadaughteri
shard.It
ookoutmyphoneandisear
chedaYouTubev
ideoonhowt
o
t
ieagir
lshai
r.Il
ookedati
tst
epbyst
epandthenti
edNtombi'
shair
.

Me:
"al
ldone"

Shecl
apped

Nt
ombi
:"beaut
if
ul.Thanky
ouDaddy"

75
Ismi
l
ed

Me:
"Youwel
comepr
incess.LetmegoandwakeLum l
um up"

Shenoddedandr usheddownt hestairs.Igoti

ntomybedroom.St icksisonwhoev ersentthe
deliv
er ythreati
ngmyWoman.If eel l
ikegoingonaKi l
li
ngspreejustt osendawar ningto
every onecauset heyseem tohavef orgott
enwhoi am.Ipickthelockoft hebathroom door
abfi opened.Shei ssleepi
ngcurl
edup.Myhear tbr
eaks.It
sbleedsj ustseei
ngherso
vulner abl
eandsoscar edl
iket
hat .Ipickherupandt akehertomybedandl ayherthere.I
brushherhai randsheopensherey esandl ooksatme.Theyar ebl oodshotr ed.Ihatemyself
.
Inev erwant edherexposedtothisli
fe.

Me:
"Lum l
um "

Icl
earmyt
hroat
.Iam ner
vousandscar
ed.

Landi
swa:
"(Si
tt
ingup)i
wantt
ogohome."

Myhear
tski
ps.

Me:
"Youcan'
tti
l
lwesol
vet
his"

Landi
swa:
"Sol
vewhat?Woul
dyouer
asewhati
saw?"

Shesai
dsof
tl
yandy
oucoul
dhearshei
saboutt
ocr
y.Iengul
fedheri
nahugandshebr
oke
down

Me:"Babyiwi
llnev
erhur
tyounorNt
ombi
,idi
dnotsendt
hatt
oyoupl
easebel
i
eveme.Iwi
l
l
f
indoutwhoev
ersentt
hattoy
ou"

Shepushedher
sel
fof
fmeandi
wipedhert
ear
s.

Me:
"Bel
i
eveme.Il
ovey
ouandwoul
dnev
erdr
eam ofhur
ti
ngy
ou"

Iper
kedherl
i
ps.Shel
ookssocut
e

Me:
"Doy
ouf
orgi
veme?"

ShenoddedAndsi
ghed.

Landi
swa:"Iam sor
ryforsweari
ngaty
ou.Iam scar
edMuzi
,whywoul
dsomeonesendt
hatt
o
meunlesstheywil
lusemet ohurty
ou"

Me:
"Noonewi
l
lhur
tyou.Iwi
l
lmakesur
eoft
hat"

Shesi
ghed.

Landi
swa:
"Wher
eisNt
ombi
?"

76
Me:
"Downst
air
s.Goshowerwear
egoi
ng"

Landi
swa:
"Wher
e?"

Me:
"home"

Landi
swa:
"Yourhome?"

Inodded

Landi
swa:
"Wear
enotgoi
ngt
her
e.Youwi
l
ltakeushome"

Me:
"Comeon"

Landi
swa:
"Wearenotmar
ri
edMuzi
letal
onedat
ingandhowwoul
dyourbr
otherf
eel
showi
ng
upwit
hhisex.No!
"

Shestoodupandsheopenedt heshowerandstr
ipped.DamnGumedej ustwokeupful
lfor
ce.
Herbodyisper
fectnaked.Shegoti
n.Nahiam notmi ssi
ngt
hatngeke.Ist
ri
ppedandfol
lowed
heri
n.Ihel
dherwaistandshejumped..

Landi
swa:
"Muzi
whatar
eyoudoi
ngi
nher
e?"

Ishutherupwi
thaki
ssandshemoanedt
henbr
okei
t

Landi
swa:
"Muzi
"

Me:
"Tel
lmewear
egoi
ngt
oKZNt
oget
her"

Landi
swa:
"Muzi
ican'
t"

Iperkedherli
pswhichtur
nedint
oaheatedki
ss.Myhandswentf
rom herwai
stt
oherassand
onef i
ngersl
ippedi
ntoherfl
owerandshemoaned.
"Ah"shemoanedsweetl
yasisl
owfinger
fuckedher.

Me:
"Wewi
l
lst
ayi
nmypenthouse"

Shemoanedwi
thherey
escl
osed.

Me:
"Lum l
um "

Landi
swa:
"mmh,
ok"

Ismi
l
edandki
ssedher

Me:
"Il
ovey
ou"

Landi
swa:
"GodMuzi
!"

77
Shemoaned.

Muzi i
sgonnabet hedeathofmehonest l
yandsoasNt ombi.Idon'twanttomeethisfami
ly
ri
ghtnow.Itsnotpleasantthattheyarecall
edinearl
ybecauseofthefi
ght.Iknowi am
i
nvolvedtoobutiam scared.Ifeelhi
shandholdmi neandijumpandhel ookshurt
.Iam st
il
l
tr
aumat i
zedwit
hwhati saw.Il ookbackandNt ombiisasl
eepagain.Wehav ebeendri
vi
ngfor
hoursnowandi am getti
ngt i
redaswell.Iyawnandhelooksovertome.

Muzi
:"Ti
red?
"

Inod.

Muzi
:"Wear
eal
mostt
her
e"

Me:
"Youshoul
dhav
elef
tusMuzi
"

Muzi
:"No,
Iwannaspendt
imewi
thmygi
rl
s."

Myphoner
ingsandi
tsAmanda.Muzi
looksatmeandi
answer

Me:
"St
handwasam "

Emot
ionsf
lasht
hroughhi
sfaceandJeal
ousywi
ns

Amanda:
"BabesImi
ssy
ou"

Me:
"imi
ss.Yout
oo.I
tsbeenl
onghey"

Ihear
dhergi
ggl
e

Amanda:
"Yep"

Me:
"It
hinki
shoul
dcal
ll
ater
.By
e"

IhungupandMuzi wasal lqui

et.SowasI.Wefi
nal
lyarr
ivedathi
sVil
lageandi
tsdarkbut
tomorrow iWil
lexploreitwit
hNt ombi
.It
saVacati
onforus.Wegett ohi
spenthouseand
ther
ear eguar
dsallovert
heplace.Thewayther
eistoomuchoft hem.Theplacelooked
amazing.

Me:
"It
sbeaut
if
ul"

78
Muzi
:"Wai
tfort
omor
row "

Hesai
dcarr
yingNtombiandt
heguar
dst
ookourbagswhi
l
ebowi
ng.Wewal
kedi
nsi
deandi
t
wassi
mpleyetbeaut
if
ul.

Me:
"iam t
ir
ed"

Muzi
:"Ineedt
obeatt
hePal
ace.Iwi
l
lseey
oul
ater"

Me:
"Ok"

Her
ushedupt
hest
air
swi
thNt
ombi
andi
fol
l
owed.Igoti
nar
oom andhecameoutandki
ssed
myl
ips

Muzi
:"Il
ovey
ou.Nev
erf
orgett
hat"

Ibl
ushed.

Me:
"Justgo"

Muzi
:"Andshebl
ushes"

Me:
"Qwabe.
..
"

Isai
dwar
ningl
yandher
asi
edhi
shands

Muzi
:"okl
etmel
eav
eLum l
um.Iwi
l
lbebackASAP"

Her
anout.I
tsl
i
keheisaki
d.Hejustmakesyoufor
gethowmady ouwer
eandscaredofhi
ma
f
ewhour
sago.Igoti
nther
oom andiwenttogetdressedi
npy
jamasandigoti
nbedandsl
ept
.

*
MUZI*

Iarr
ivedatthepalace.Goshi don'tevenwanttobehere.Iwannabehomewi thLandiswainmy
arms.Nt ombi onmychest .Idon'
tknowhowt hatwi
llhappenbuti
tsanimageiwant .If
eelso
compl et
ewiththosetwoespeci al
lyLandiswa.Theybringmeaningintomycomplicatedli
fe.I
getoutofmycarasIpar keditandi gotout.Theguardsbow.Thisispar
tofmylif
ei don'tli
ke.
Igetinandi coul
dhearmyf ather
'simpatientvoi
ceEchoingfr
om theeat
ingr
oom.

79
Dad:
"Wher
eisy
ourt
winMenzi
?"

Nomascr
eamsandat
tacksmewi
thahug

Mom :
"Nomazul
uthi
sisnott
heShebeeny
ouwer
eaty
est
erday"

Noma:
"Mamai
am j
usthappyt
oseemybr
other"

Me:
"howar
eyoul
i
ttl
eone?"

Noma:
"ar
ghusuqal
i
le!(y
ouhav
est
art
ed)"

Shel
etsgoofmeandi
chuckl
e

Me:
"Phakat
hway
o"

Ibow

Dad:
"Si
tdownandy
ouar
elat
e"

Isi
tdownnextt
oNoma.Il
ookatMenzi
andhel
ooksatmewi
thhi
sjawscl
enched.

Dad:
"bef
oreiappoi
ntanyofy
ouhool
i
ganski
ngwhati
swr
ongwi
thy
ourbehav
iour
.Ihadt
ofi
nd
mywif
ecryi
ngovergrownmen!!
"

Hebangst
het
abl
e.Hi
stonei
snotni
ceandhat
esi
twhenhi
swi
fecr
ies.Wear
esi
l
ent

Dad:
"tal
k"

Hel
ooksatMeandi
lookdownandhet
urnst
oMenzi
.

Menzi
:"I
tsnot
hingNkosi
yam "

Hechuckl
esandi
tsnotni
ce.Thi
smani
nti
midat
est
heshi
toutofme.

Dad:
"Iseey
ouwantmet
oki
l
lyoubot
hsot
alk"

Me:
"It
sagi
rl"

Dad:
"Whatgi
rl?
"

Mbal
i:
"Deser
tMyki
ng.?
"

Shesay
sst
andi
ngup

Dad:
"Shutupandsi
tdown!"

Hesai
dsocal
mly

Dad:
"tal
k"

80
Me:
"Menzi
?"

Isayl
ooki
ngathi
m.

Menzi
:"i
...
ihadanaf
fai
rwi
thmypaandnowMuzi
ist
aki
ngher"

Dad:
"heehy
ouwantt
oseemegocr
azy"

Hest
oodupandwal
kedof
fwi
thhandsbehi
ndhi
sback

Mom :
"thi
sisnotgood"

Shest
opsupandf
oll
owedhi
m.

Menzi
:"y
ou.
..
"

Me:
"It
oldy
out
olethergo."

Hej
umpedof
fhi
schai
randMbal
irushedoutNomagoti
nbet
weenus

Noma:
"st
opi
tni
badal
aukul
wel
aindunu(y
ouar
eol
dtobef
ight
ingov
erpussy)
"

Me:
"iwi
l
lfucky
ouupwena"

Menzi
:"nxxFucky
ou.Wat
chy
ourback"

Me:
"al
way
sbr
o"

Hewal
kedof
fhuf
fi
ng

Noma:
"st
opt
his"

Me:
"ihav
eawomanwai
ti
ngf
orme"

Noma:
"iwi
l
lvi
sit"

Me:
"sur
e"

Wehuggedandi
wal
kedout
.Thatwasf
ast
.Thi
sst
aywon'
tbeni
cei
see.

81
I
NSERTTWELVE

If
eltthebedmov
e,icoul
dn'
tsl
eepf
orsomewei
rdr
eason.Iwasst
art
ledbuthi
sscentmade
mer el
axabit
."i
tsme"

Ir
elaxedandhepull
edmeclosert
ohim.Suddenlyifeltwarmerthaniwasbefor
e.Hesurel
y
di
dcomebacksosoonbutatt hesametimeifeelateasethatheishere.Icl
osemyeyesas
hekissesmycheekandof
ftoLalaLandi
go.

Thesunwaspenet rat
ingmyey esasi openedt hem sl owly.Icheckedmysur r
oundingsandi am
onacomf or tabl
ebedandMaDl amscupboar di snott hefirstthi
ngi see.Igetof fthebedandi t
showssomeonewasr est i
ngbesideme.Hi sscentgi vesoffwher ei am again.Igetof fthebed
andi wal
ktot hebathroom.Ismi lealltomysel ft
henchuckl e.Coul dthismanj ustst op
charmingmecausehei smaki ngmebl ushalotonmyownatt i
mesandi don'tr ememberus
dati
ngbuthei ssosweet .Igobrushmyt eethbef or
ei takeof fmycl ot
hesandgeti ntot his
Bubblebath.Isi tthereasmybodyr elaxest othewar m water.Iforgetallmyt roublesf ora
momentandenj oysomest rawberr
ytreats.Usual l
ywi neisaccompani edbyt heseki ndof
thi
ngsbutt hisisMuzi .Idon'tthinkheisi nt
ot hatorhef orgotmay be? .Igetoutaf terspending
somet i
mei nt hereandi wearat owel aroundmy sel
f .Igotoutandwentt omysui t
caseandi
tookoutaf loraldressandsandal s.Todayi am expl ori
ngKhany isaKingdom wi t
hNt ombi .I
meani t
sat ripsol etmeenj oy.Igetoutandgodownt hest air
s.Iheargi gglesandl aught er.I
seethem hav ingpancakest owhatitl
ooksl ike.Ismi l
eathowNt ombi lookssohappy .

82
Nt
ombi
:"NoDaddybear,
idon'
tpl
aywi
thboy
s"

Muzi
:"goodcausedaddybearwi
l
lhi
tthatboy
."

Me:
"hai
bo"

Theyl
aughandl
ookatme.Nt
ombi
get
sof
fthechai
randr
ushest
omeandwehug

Me:
"Idi
dn'
tgett
osi
ngy
ourl
ull
abyy
est
erday"

Nt
ombi
:"Wewi
l
lsi
ngi
ttoni
ght
.LookLaah,
lookatmyhai
r"

Me:
"Mmmhwhodi
dyourhai
r?"

Nt
ombi
:"Daddydi
d"

Il
ookedatMuzi

Me:
"mmmhDaddyneh"

Isay

Muzi
:"Jeal
ousydoesn'
tsui
tyoul
um l
um "

Me:
"iam notj
eal
ous.Pl
ease"

Theyl
augh

Me:
"what
sforbr
eakf
astf
ami
l
y?"

Nt
ombi
:"Pancakes!
!"

Shesay
scl
appi
ngandj
umpi
ng

Muzi
:"NowPumpki
ncomeandf
ini
shy
ourf
ood"

Shenoddedandr
ant
oherseatMuzi
camet
ome.

Muzi
:"Mor
ningmyQueen"

Me:
"mor
ningmypr
ince"

Hechuckl
es.

Muzi
:"ar
en'
tiki
ngofy
ourhear
t?"

Hesay
swi
thar
aisedey
ebr
ow

Me:
"Wel
li
tsst
il
lsear
chi
ng.
..
..
"

83
Il
augh

Muzi
:"ouchok."

Hegi
vesmeaper
k

Me:
"Usana(achi
l
d)"

Ican'
tsayUmnt
wanabecausehei
sthat

Muzi
:"(Laughi
ng)Ar
eyouav
oidi
ngcal
l
ingNt
ombi
roy
alt
y?"

Me:
"uhm no"

Hel
aughs

Me:
"mxm.Letmegoandeat"

Imov
efr
om hi
m andhef
oll
ows.

Me:
"canwehav
eanav
igat
ororsomet
hingcausei
wannaexpl
oret
hiski
ngdom "

Muzi
:"i
tsv
erybeaut
if
ul.Iwi
l
lbey
ourt
ourgui
de"

Me:
"doy
ouev
enknowhal
foft
hev
il
lage?"

Muzi
:"i
doknow.Don'
tunder
est
imat
emepl
ease"

Il
augh

Me:
"Okgps"

Hethrowsacl othatmeandNt ombilaughs.Wehadbr eakf

astthem preparedtoleave.We
madesandwi chesandtooksomesnacks.Muzi saidwewi l
lhaveapi cni
cbyt heVil
lage
water
fall
.Ipreferr
eduswal ki
ngsowecanseemor eofKhanyisaandhedi dn'tseeapr obl
em
wit
hthat.Wel ef
t.Guar
dswer efol
l
owi ngusinadistance.Ntombi wasonMuzi '
sshoulders.
Thi
svill
agelooksamazing.Thegreennessandt herichmentofitssoilandplants.

Me:
"youhav
eal
otofbeaut
if
ulv
eget
ati
on"

Muzi:
"evenourstr
awberr
ies.Theyar
emyf
avour
it
e.What
suni
queaboutourki
ngdom i
sthat
ourf
rui
tsgrowall
yearl
ong"

Wewal
kedpastaPeacht
reeandi
tlookedbi
gandj
uicy

Nt
ombi
:"Daddycani
hav
eone?"

Muzi
:"sur
epumpki
n"

84
Hepi
ckedsomef
orusandwet
ast
ed.

Me:
"mmm"

Imoanedi
nenj
oyment

Muzi
:"i
shoul
dbet
heonemaki
ngy
oudot
hat"

Me:
"ubol
i
lesi
es(y
ouar
edi
rt
ymi
ndedsi
es)"

Hechuckl
ed

Nt
ombi
:"Ni
bol
i
lesi
es!
"

Wel
aughed.

Wecar
ri
edonwal
ki
ng.

Me:
"ist
hev
il
laget
hisgoodort
her
ear
eot
herpeopl
ewhoar
enotasadv
ant
agedasot
her
s?"

Muzi
:"Ihav
ehear
daboutt
hem butnev
erseent
hem "

Me:
"ok,
iam hungr
y.Canwegot
othewat
erf
all
?"

Nt
ombi
:"met
oo"

Muzi
:"okmyl
adi
es"

Wewenttothewaterf
allandi
tssobeauti
ful
.Thegreenandcolour
fulf
lowersbyt
hebanks
bef
orei
tent
erstheri
ver
s.Thesoundofitandtheshade.Thi
sisparadi
sereall
y

Nt
ombi
:"Wow"

Me:
"wowi
ndeedbaby"

Muzi
:"oht
hanky
ouf
ort
hecompl
i
ment
sladi
es"

hesai
dbr
ushi
nghi
msel
f.

Me:
"noty
ou"

Nt
ombi
laughed.Hef
rowned

Me:
"thi
sisamazi
ng"

Muzi
:"l
etseat
."

Welai
dthebl
anketdownandwesatdownonit.It
ookoutt
hesnacksandwest
art
edeating
andhavi
ngagoodti
metogether
.Thi
swasreal
l
yrefr
eshi
ngfr
om t
hecit
yli
fewehavebackat
home.

85
Nt
ombi
:"l
ookLaahi
wannapl
ay"

Ther
ewasagi
rlpl
ayi
ngbyt
hewat
erf
all

Muzi
:"shei
sgonnaf
all
in."

Westoodupandwentbytheli
ttl
egir
l.Thesi
ghtofherpai
ned,tear
slef
tmyey es.Shewasso
ski
nnyanddr
yski
nned.Shelookedl
ikeshehasn'
teatenorbat
hedfordays.Shewasoldert
han
Ntombi
.Maybe14i
fnotmi st
aken.

Muzi
:"y
ouar
egonnaf
all
in"

shej
umped.It hi
nkshewasn'
texpect
ingus.Shebowedi
mmedi
atel
ywhenshesawMuz
iand
wentonherknees.

Her:
"iam sor
ryy
ourhi
ghess,
Pleasedon'
tthr
owmei
nthedungeon.Iwi
l
lnev
ersetf
oott
his
si
de"

Muzi
:"y
oumayr
ise"

Nt
ombi
:"doy
ouwantf
ood?
"

Sheshookherheadwi
tht
ear
s

Muzi
:"comej
oinus"

Sheshotal
ookupandl
ookedscar
ed

Me:
"Theguar
ds"

Muzi
:"backdown"

Theymovedbacktowhatevert
heywer
eupto.Itookthegir
l'
shandandwewal
kedbackt
oour
pi
cnicpl
aceandgaveherf
oodandsheatel
i
kethereisnotomorr
ow.I
tpai
nedme.

Me:
"whati
syourname?"

Sheswal
l
owed.

Her:
"Ndal
o,Buhl
ebendal
oSokhul
u"

Ismi
l
edandsatnextt
oherandal
soNt
ombi

Nt
ombi
:"i
am Nt
ombi
"

Me:
"wher
ear
eyouf
rom ?
"

Shel
ookedatMuzi
thendown.Il
ookedathi
m andhecl
ear
edhi
sthr
oat

86
Muzi
:"whi
chsi
deoft
heki
ngdom ar
eyouf
rom ?
"

Her:
"TheMal
ahl
eni
sidey
ourhi
ghness"

Shet
akesabi
teof
fthebr
ead.

"NDALO!NDALO!
"

Shelooksupi
nfearandshest
andsupandweal
sodo.Weseeawomanappearandsher
uns
off
.

Me:
"Ndal
o"

Woman:
"iam sor
ryy
ourmaj
est
ywear
esor
ryf
orherbot
her
ingy
ou"

shel
ooksscar
ed

Muzi
:"i
tsno.
..
..
.pr
obl
em "

Theywer
eal
readyoutofsi
ghtr
unni
ngaway.It
urnedt
oMuzi

Me:
"Doest
hisal
way
shappen?"

Muzi
:"i
tsmyf
ir
stt
imeseei
ngpeopl
eli
ket
hat
.Letal
oneknowt
heMal
ahl
eni
side"

Welookbackt
owheretheyr
ushedoff
.Wepackedupandl
eft
.Seei
ngt
hem di
stur
bedmet
oo
much.Iwasconsumedinmythought
stoomuch

Muzi
:"don'
twor
ry"

Me:
"ij
ustknowhowt
heyf
eel
"

Hel
ooksatme.

Muzi:"howaboutwedr
opNt
ombi
wit
hMom t
omor
row t
henwegot
othatsi
det
oget
herand
sear
chf orNdal
o?"

Me:
"real
l
y?"

Muzi
:"any
thi
ngf
ory
ou"

Ismi
l
ed

Me:
"youar
eonei
nami
l
li
onPhakat
hway
o"

Hef
rowns

Muzi
:"t
hat
smydad"

i
laugh

87
Me:
"okGumede"

Hesmi
l
es

Muzi
:"y
oudr
ivemecr
azyy
ouknow"

Me:
"yeti
am noty
ourgi
rl
fr
iend"

Muzi
:"enhl
i
zweni
yam unguMkami
(inmyhear
tyouar
emywi
fe)"

i
blush

Me:
"ist
hatanewpi
ckupl
i
ne?"

Muzi
:"i
tsast
atement"

Mycheeksj
ustheat
edup.Yoht
hisman

I
NSERTTHI
R-TEEN

*MENZI
*

88
Isatupasi
coul
dn'
tsleep.Ilookedatmysi
deandshel
ookedsopeacef
uly
etshei
snott
alki
ng
tomeandit
snotsi
tt
ingwellwithmeatthemoment
.

Me:
"Baby"

Shei
ssi
l
ent
.Ideci
dedt
oshakeherabi
t.

Mbal
i:
"Mmmh"

Me:
"Babyweneedt
otal
k.Idon'
tli
kewhat
sgoi
ngonbet
weenus"

Mbal
i
:"Menzi
sleept
uu"

Shesai
dtur
ningt
heot
herway
.Ipul
l
edhert
omeandshel
ayedonmychestbutpushed
her
sel
f.

Mbal
i:
"Leav
emeal
oneMenzi
"

Me:
"Babyweneedt
otal
k"

Mbal
i:
"aboutwhat?Youcheat
ing?
"

Me:
"Itwasn'
tcheat
ing"

Shechuckl
edmocki
ngl
y

Mbal
i:
"Lor
dyouar
etest
ingme"

Me:
"Idon'
tli
ket
hist
ensi
on"

Mbal
i:
"Youcr
eat
edi
tMenzi
justl
eav
emeal
one"

It
ouchedhershoul
derandshey
ankedher
sel
f.

Me:
"Mbal
i"

Mbali
:"ey
iMenziyouareir
ri
tat
ingme,
youwantmet
obehappyandcongr
atul
atey
ouwel
l
doneonbeingunf
ait
hful
"

Me:
"Iam gonnaMar
ryher"

Shesatupandopenedt
hesi
del
ampandcl
apped

Cont
inuat
ion.

89
.

Shesatupandt
urnedont
hesi
del
ampandcl
appedherhands.

Mbal
i:
"Wow."

Me:
"Il
oveherasmuchasi
lov
eyou"

Mbal
i:
"Youar
edi
srespect
ful"

Me:
"Iam not"

Mbal
i:
"Youfi
rstcheatonmeandnowyoutel
lmeshi
tthaty
ouwantt
omar
ryher!
!Doy
ouwant
metobehappyforyouandcl
aphandsf
ory
ouMenzi!?
"

Me:
"Cal
m downwear
etal
ki
ng"

Shechuckl
edmocki
ngl
y

Mbali:
"Cal
m down?Youar
einnoposi
ti
ont
obar
kor
der
satt
hemomentWenasodon'
ttel
lme
shi
t!"

Me:
"Igety
ouar
eangr
ybutr
espectme"

Mbali:
"ohNo,Youlostt
hatposi
ti
ont
obemananddemandr
espectf
rom mewheny
ou
di
srespect
edme!"

Shegotof
fthebedandi
fol
l
owedher

Me:
"Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
"

Mbal
i:
"Nonofy
ourbusi
ness.Justl
eav
emet
hef
uckal
oneMenzi
!!"

Me:
"baby"

Shet
hrew asi
del
ampi
nmydi
rect
ionandi
ducked.

Me:
"Thef
uckMbal
i!
!"

Mbal
i:
"Tr
yme!
"

"Whati
sal
lthi
snoi
se?
"

Thedoorwasopenedandi
twasMom andNoma.Mbal
ij
ustbr
okedownandMom r
ant
oher
.

Mom :
"Menzi
whati
sthi
snoi
seatni
ght"

90
Me:
"Ndl
unkul
uwear
esor
ry"

Mom :
"Mbal
iwhat
siswr
ongmychi
l
d"

Mbal
i:
"It
sMenzi
Mah,
Hedoesn'
tlov
eme"

Mom :
"Menzi
!"

Me:
"Mbal
iinev
ersai
dthat
.Il
ovey
ouandLandi
swat
oo.Iwanty
oubot
hmar
ri
edt
ome"

Noma:
"IhheeeeeDr
eamsdocomet
rue"

Shecl
appedherhands

Me:
"Shutup"

Mom :"Don'
ttel
lyoursi
stert
oshutup.Mbali
ispr
egnantandshedoesn'
tneedy
ourst
ress.
Landi
swaatthemomentdoesn'twanttoseeyouasyouhur
ther"

Me:
"It
sbecauseMuzi
iscomf
ort
ingherMah"

Mbal
i:
"ineedt
osl
eep"

Shewal
kedout

Me:
"Mbal
i"

Mom :
"Leav
ehert
ocool
downMenzi
.Iwi
l
lcal
lyoubr
otherandLandi
swaOv
ert
omor
row
mor
ning"

Me:
"It
shour
sandMuzi
isher
e"

Mom :
"theywi
l
lcome"

Shewal
kedt
owar
dst
hedoor

Me:
"Wai
tisLandi
swaher
easwel
l?Whydi
dn'
tyout
ell
me"

Mom :
"Shei
snother
efory
ou.Shei
sher
ewi
thMuzi
andi
twasnotmypl
ace"

Me:
"FuckMahy
oushoul
dhav
etol
dme!
!"

Noma:
"Ey
iwenaDadwi
l
lfucky
ouupsay
ingt
hatt
ohi
swi
fe!
"

Ihuf
fedcauseshei
sri
ght
.

Mom :
"sl
eep.Theywi
l
lbeher
e."

Theywal
kedoutandshutt
hedoor
.Iangr
yscreamedar
oundt
her
oom andt
hrewt
heot
hersi
de
l
amponthefloor
.Ther
ewasaknockanditopened.

91
Ser
vant:
"TheQueenaskedmet
ocomecl
eant
hisr
oom myPr
ince"

Ii
gnor
edherandJustwal
kedoutt
othePal
acegar
den.Thoughi
tsni
ghtt
imebuti
needsome
ti
meoff.

.
INSERTFOUR-
TEEN

*MUZI*

"Myl
ove,
doy
ouev
erdr
eam of

Candypour
edi
nrai
ndr
ops

You'
ret
hesame

Mycandyr
ain "

"ouuuhi
didn'
tknowwehadanUsher"

Il
aughedandwipedmyhandswhi
l
eshecamecl
oserandi
wentt
oherandhel
dherwai
stand
ki
ssedherfor
ehead.

Me:
"Mor
ning"

Landi
swa:
"Mor
ningQwabe"Me:
"Youj
ustr
uinedt
hesur
pri
se"

Landi
swa:
"Ahnot
hebedwascol
dsoi
wokeup"

Me:
"Ohy
oumeani
makey
ouwar
m?"

Isaywi
thasmi
rk

Landi
swa:
"Yesy
ouwor
kasabl
anket"

Il
augh

92
Me:
"Ohwowsomuchf
orl
ove"

Shegi
ggl
ed

Landi
wsa:
"whatar
eyoumaki
ngany
way?
"

Shesai
dsi
tt
ingont
heHi
ghchai
rinf
rontofme.

Me:
"Oat
s"

Landi
swa:
"Wow,
APr
inceMaki
ngoat
sthi
sneedsi
nst
agr
am f
orr
eal
"

It
hrewacl
othather

Me:
"Ican'
tbegoodl
ooki
ng.Ihav
etomeetal
otoft
rai
ts"

Landi
swa:
"Goodl
ooki
ngy
eaht
ell
your
sel
fthatf
rog"

Me:
"Hat
er"

Isul
kedandshel
aughed

Landi
swa:
"AwuGumedei
am pl
ayi
ngy
ouknowt
hat"

Shecar
ri
edonlaughi
ngandif
oundmy sel
fsmil
ingj
ustl
ooki
ngather
.Herlaughi
ngandsmi
l
ing
j
ustmakesmyworldst
opandjustwantt
ostar
eathowamazingsheis.Sheslowsdown

Landi
swa:
"(Gi
ggl
i
ng)what?
"

Me:
"Youar
ebeaut
if
ul"

Shebl
ushed

Landi
swa:
"(Gi
ggl
i
ng)AhhMuzi
justf
ini
sht
hesi
ngi
ngandCooki
ngandst
opt
alki
ng"

Il
augh

Me:
"what
every
ouwi
shmyl
ady"

Isai
dcar
ryi
ngoncooki
ng

Landi
swa:
"Andt
hesi
ngi
ng?
icannothav
enoent
ert
ainment
.Si
ngmyPr
ince"

Il
aughed

Me:
"Thi
sabuse"

Landi
swa:
"Don'
tst
art"

Me:
"okwhi
chsong?"

93
Landi
swa:
"Theoney
ouwer
esi
ngi
ng.Idon'
tknowi
t"

Me:
"Tel
lmey
ouar
ejoki
ngbabe"

sheshookherheadsocut
e

Landi
swa:
"Nopei
am not
."

Me:
"Youdon'
tknowSoul
s4Real
li
keBabe.Weneedt
oli
stent
othem "

Landi
swa:
"Iam aKennyl
att
imor
eFanBabesoi
don'
tknowt
hem.Si
ng"

Me:
"Let
smakeadeal
tol
i
stent
othem whenwel
eav
e"

Landi
swa:
"(f
rowi
ng)Ok,
Muzi
singi
am wai
ti
ng"

Ichuckl
ed

Me:
"Hav
eyouev
erl
ovedsomeone

Somuchy
out
houghty
ou'
ddi
e

Gi
vensomuchofy
oursel
f

I
tseemst
heonl
yway

Tel
lmewhatwantanddone

andi
wil
lgi
vei
ttoy
ou

Causey
ouar
e

[chor
us]

Myl
ove,
doy
ouev
erdr
eam of

Candypour
edi
nrai
ndr
ops

You'
ret
hesame

Mycandyr
ain "

Landi
swa:
"Awawhyst
op?
"

Me:
"(chuckl
i
ng)becausewehav
etoeat,
theoat
sar
ereadymi
ssy"

Landi
swa:
"Mxm y
ouoat
sbor
e"

Il
augh

94
Landi
swa:
"LetmewakeupNt
ombi
"

Me:
"Leav
ehert
orest"

Landi
swa:
"Mondayi
hav
etobebackatwor
kyouknowandt
hati
stomor
row "

Me:
"ihav
esor
tedt
hatoutandschool
wor
kforNt
ombi
.Wewi
l
lleav
enextweek"

Landi
swa:
"doy
ouknowMaDl
ams?
"

Shesay
swi
thaney
ebr
owr
aised.It
ookoutt
hedi
shesanddi
shedup

Me:
"Ichar
medher"

Shecl
appedherhandsandl
augheddr
amat
ical
l
y

Me:
"that
sgoof
ybabenahsi
sitai
n'
tri
ght"

Ishookmyheadandshegav
emeami
ddl
efi
ngerandt
ongueoutandwel
aughed.

Me:
"Il
ovey
ou"

Everyt
imeisaythati
feelsogoodandri
ghtl
i
kei
am atpeacewi
thmy
sel
fev
ent
houghshehas
neversai
ditbackbutil
ovesayi
ngthat

Landi
swa:
"Ncooh.Il
ovemet
oo"

Me:
"Mxm "

Shelaughedandweat eandaft
erthatshei
nsist
edoncleaningeventhoughacl eaningcrew
al
way scomet wi
ceaweekwheni am hereandoncewheni am nothere.Igoandt akea
shower.Ineedtobui
l
dLandiswa'sgrandmotherabeaut
ifulhousejusttosaythanky oufor
groomingsuchawonderfulwoman.Igetoutaftersometimeandi seeLandiswai sinthe
bedroom.

Landi
swa:
"Nt
ombi
isr
eadyandset
.Ihav
efedherandpackedsomest
ufff
orher"

Me:"okthanksbabet
houghiwouldhav
elov
eddoi
ngt
hatwi
thNt
ombi
.Shemakesmeexci
ted
andfeel
li
kear eal
manwithachi
ld"

Shesmi
l
ed

Landi
swa:
"youar
eamazi
ng.Letmegoshower"

Shewentt
othebat
hroom andmyphoner
angasi
lot
ioned.I
tsMom

Me:
"Ndl
unkul
u"

Mom :
"Muzi
howar
eyou?Wheni
sthel
i
ttl
eonecomi
ng?
"

95
Me:
"wear
eonourwayt
her
e"

Mom :
"ohok.Wel
liwanty
out
ocomewi
thLandi
swat
her
eisameet
ing"

Me:"I
sittheMenzit
hing?Shoul
dn'
theprepar
edt
ogot
othemount
ainf
orawhol
eweekand
becl
eansedandstuf
fbefor
ethecor
inat
ion?"

Mom :
"yeshei
sleav
ingt
omor
row kodwacome"

Isi
ghed

Me:
"Okwewi
l
lbeonourway"

Shehungup.Menzi can'
tj
ustlett
hingsgo.Iwon'tgiveuponLandiswawi t
houtafi
ght.Iget
dressedinnavychi
no's,Navygol
fshirtwithNavyNikesneaker
sandabr ownbeltandtopped
offwithawatchandnavyNikebaseballcap.Ispray
edperfumeandgotout .Landi
swawas
l
otioningherl
egs.DamnGumedest oodfir
m andprint
edonmypant s.Icl
earedmythroat
.

Me:
"iwi
l
lbedownst
air
s"

Shet
urnedj
umpi
ng

Landi
swa:
"Ohmyi
thoughty
oul
eft
.Sor
ry"

Sherushedtothecl
osetandcl
osedi
tandi
laughed.Iwal
keddownt
hest
air
sandi
hear
d
car
toonsplayi
ng

"Doy
ouseet
heMap?
"

Godi
hat
ethem f
oraski
ngt
heobv
iousl
i
ket
het
hingi
sri
ghtt
her
e

Nt
ombi
:"y
es!
!"

Buti
guessbei
ngaki
dcomeswi
thsomedumbnessny
anat
oenj
oyy
ourchi
l
dhood

Me:
"Boo!
"

Nt
ombi
Jumped

Nt
ombi
:"(hol
dingherchest)
Daddyy
ouscar
edme"

Icar
ri
edher

Me:
"Sor
rypumpki
n.Hav
eyoueat
en?"

Nt
ombi
:"Yesdaddy"

"l
etsl
eav
e"

96
Il
ookerbackandi twasLandiswawalkingdownt hestai
rs.Damnwhatisthi
swomandoi ngto
me?Shei sinaNav ybodybodyhuggi ngdressthatreachesherkneeswi
thaorangesandred
wit
hwhutepr i
ntedheadwrapandherhai ri
snicel
ydone.Hehi psandassall
inpl
aceandwi t
h
Sandal
sontop.Shel ooksbeauti
ful
.

Landi
swa:
"Cl
osey
ourmout
hQwabef
li
eswi
l
lgoi
n."

Shesai
dlaughi
ngandper
kingNt
ombi
.

Landi
swa:
"let
sgo"

Me:
"dadcal
l
edameet
ingwi
thus"

Landi
swa:
"youj
oker
ight?"

Me:
"let
sgo"

Wewal kedout
.Youcouldseeshewasnothappy.IbuckledNtombiandthegaurdsgotint
hei
r
carsandidrov
eoffwit
hthem aroundus.(onecarinfrontandoneattheback).Ihel
dher
hand

Me:
"rel
axi
am t
her
e"

Shenodded

Wegott
othePal
aceandwegotout
.It
ookNt
ombi
andLandi
swat
ookherbag

Nt
ombi
:"Wow,
Daddyar
eweatSophi
a'
s?"

Me:
"whoi
sSophi
a?"

Shegi
ggl
edandhi
dher
sel
font
hecr
ackofmyneck.Weent
eredandMom waswai
ti
ngf
orus
wit
hNoma.

Nt
ombi
:"i
tsapr
incessdaddy"

Noma:
"wadl
adaddy(y
ougodaddy)"

Me:
"youar
efor
war
dyouknow.Whenar
eyougoi
ngt
oapar
ty?
"

Noma:
"mxm"

shesul
ked

Mom :
"shei
snotgoi
ngany
wher
ethi
sone.I
tsev
enami
racl
ethaty
oupassv
arsi
ty"

Noma:
"fai
thmot
herhasnev
erf
ail
edany
one"

Mom :
"mmmh"

97
Wel
aughed.

Mom :
"Landi
swamychi
l
d"

Landi
swasmi
l
edandt
heyhugged.

Landi
swa:
"(bowi
ng)MyQueen"

Nt
ombi
:"Laahshei
sQueen?
"

Mom :
"yesi
am Queenandt
hismustbet
hel
i
ttl
eNt
ombi
,ihav
ehear
dal
otabouty
ou"

Shesmi
l
edandMom t
ookNt
ombi

Nt
ombi
:"doy
ouknowSophi
a?"

Wel
aughed

Mom :
"Nobuty
ouwi
l
lbeapr
incessf
ort
oday"

Nt
ombi
:"wi
that
iar
a?"

Mom:
"yep,
gowi
thNomaandshewi
l
lshowy
ouhowt
obeapr
incess"

Noma:
"comeNt
ombi
"

Shet
ookherBagandt
heywal
kedof
f

Mom :
"sher
emi
ndsmeofNomawhenshewasy
oung"

Me:
"ahdon'
tcompar
e"

Mom :
"ar
eyoual
way
sfor
war
d?"

Landi
swaLaughed

Me:
"nowl
etsgoandgett
hismeet
ingdone.Wehav
esomewher
etobe"

Mom :
"come"

Wewal
kedof
ftot
hel
i
vingchamber
.That
swhatweshoul
dcal
lal
i
vingr
oom i
nthi
sKi
ngdom "

Dadhasn'
tar
ri
ved.

Me:
"Mbal
i"

Mbal
i:
"hi
Muzi
"

Shesai
dwhil
elooki
ngatLandi
swawi
thanat
ti
tudeMenzi
wasal
sol
ooki
ngatLandi
swat
hen
me,wesatdown

98
Menzi
:"Laah"

Landi
swa:
"Menzi
,Mr
sQwabe"

Mbal
i:
"(onecl
ap)Lety
ourwi
l
lbedonef
atheri
am bei
ngt
est
ed"

"si
tdownal
lofy
ou"

ItwasDadwal
ki
ngin.Weal
lbowedbef
oresi
tt
ingdown.Hel
ookedatusandi
coul
dsee
Landi
swawasscar
ed.

Dad:
"whoi
sthey
oungl
ady?"

Mom :
"thi
sist
heLandi
swat
heboy
ssquabbl
eov
er"

Hawumom bemaki
ngi
tseem l
i
keLandi
swai
sahoe.Shel
ookeddown.

Dad:
"(l
ooki
ngatMenzi
)Tal
kyouwant
edt
hismeet
ing"

Hecl
ear
edhi
str
oatandmov
edf
orwar
d.

Menzi:
"uhm thankyoufort
hisoppor
tuni
ty.Fi
rst
lyiwoul
dlov
etoapol
ogi
set
omywi
fef
or
(cl
eatt
hroat)cheat
ingonherandlandi
swaaswel l
forl
yi
ngtoher
"

Mbal
i:
"mmmh"

Menzi
:"i
nev
ermentt
ohur
tthem "

Landi
swa:
"whydi
dyou?
"

Menzi
:"i
am sor
ryLandi
swa"

Sheseemedpi
ssed

Landi
swa:
"Whydi
dyouhur
tus?"

Menzi
:"i
nev
ermentt
odoi
t,i
justl
ovey
oubot
hwi
thMbal
iandwannamar
ryy
oubot
hasmy
wi
ves"

Weal
lshar
edamocki
ngl
augh.Hewaspi
ssi
ngmeof
f.Icl
enchedmyj
awsandl
eanedf
orwar
d.

Landi
swa:
"Wow"

Mbal
i:
"wowi
ndeed"

Dad:"iheary
ouMenzi buty
oushoul
dhavebeenhonestwi
thLandi
swainthefir
stplace.She
doeshavearighttobeangr
ybuti
tsbr
aveofyoutocomeandapologi
setotheseladiesandso
asyourwife,Landi
swawhatdoyousayaf
terwhatmysonhasshared?"

99
Landiswa:
"iam notgonnashar
eanot
herwomansmanandanothert
hingi
siwon'
tbecome
secondbesttosomeone.Iam sor
ry,iwoul
drat
herbeal
one"

Mom :
"whati
sgoi
ngonbet
weeny
ouandMuzi
?"

Shel
ookedatmet
henl
ookeddown.

Landi
swa:
medon'
tknowmyQueen"

Dad:
"ar
eyougonnaMar
ryMuzi
?"

Dadkodwa.Sheshotherheadupandl
ookedatme.

Me:
"(cl
eart
hroat)wedon'
tknowwhatt
hef
utur
ehol
ds"

Dad: "mmmhok, Menzifocusony ourwife,Youareabouttobeaf at

heranfKingandchasing
afteraski
rti
snothowyoushoul dbedoi ng.Andasf oryouMuzi,bothofyoushouldbe
brother
sandnotletawomanbet weent hebothofyou.Ihopethi
sisthelastt
imei am hav
ing
thi
smeet i
ngaboutsomthingl
ikethis.Youarebrot
hersandshouldbeunited.Underst
ood? "

Heact
ual
l
ywasn'
taski
ngusbutt
ell
i
ngus

Us:
"yesPhakat
hway
o"

hest
oodup

Dad:
"Mkami
"

Mom stoodupwit
hasmi l
e.TheyLov eeachot
hersomuch,
dadwoul
dki
l
lforherwi
thoutany
hesi
tat
ionj
ustl
i
kei woul
dforLum Lum .

Il
ookedatherandshel
ookedatme.Theywal
kedout

Landi
swa:
"wehav
eav
isi
tremember?
"

Menzi
wal
kedoutangr
y

Mbal
i:
"mmhsi
es"

Me:
"don'
tst
artsomet
hingy
ouwon'
tfi
nishMbal
i"

West
oodupandwal
kedoutandi
openedt
hedoorf
orherandshegoti
nandwedr
oveof
f.

100
I
NSERTFI
F-TEEN

Afterwel eftt
hepal acemymi ndwasr i
ddledi nthoughts.Al otofthethoughts.Idon'tknow
my selfatthemomentandi tsl
ikeiam stucki narockandahar dplace.Menzi ,Heist hemani
dedicatedmy selfforayeart ohim.Hemayhav ehurtmebutmyf eeli
ngscan'tjusteasilygo
awayandt hentherei sMuzi.Ilookathim ashesi ngsoneofhi sSoul 4r eal
songs.Idon' teven
knowi t.Ifindmy selfsmili
nganditseffortl
essly.Honest l
yhei samazi ngbuthei sMenzi '
s
brother,ishouldn'tdomyexl iket
hatbuti likewhatwehav e.Idon'tknowwhybutwhenhe
says"ILov eyou"t omei tfeel
sdif
ferent.Likebubbl eswar m upinmeandmybodyt ingles.Hi
s
touches, Justhislit
tlet
ouchmakesmef eel l
i
kei am alov estr
uckt eenager.Hiswar mthand
hisAur athathehas.I tmy st
eri
ousaswel l.Hi sphonedi sturbsmef rom myt houghtsandhe
answer sit.

Muzi
:"Sho"

Hef
rownsandst
eal
sagl
anceatmeabi
tbef
orehecar
ri
esonwi
tht
heconv
ersat
ion.

Muzi
:"Ican'
tcomet
hisweek.Youhav
etof
lydown"

Hesays.Hi
svoi
cehaschangedandi
smor
eofanaut
hor
it
ivev
oicet
hati
smaki
ngmybody
t
ingl
e.

Muzi
:"Dammi
tSt
icksi
wanty
ouher
ebyt
oni
ghtt
hisi
sawar,
amess!
"

Hi
svoi
cemakesmej
ump.Hecal
msdownandl
ooksatme

101
Muzi
:"wewi
l
ltal
klat
er."

Hehungup

Me:
"Ev
ery
thi
ngok?"

Iaskconcer
ned.

Muzi
:"(Fakeasmi
l
eandki
ssesmyhand)YesLum l
um.Iam ok"

Inodded.

Me:
"Shoul
dn'
twebuyl
i
kesomet
hingbef
oregoi
ngt
owher
eNdal
oli
ves.?
"

Hesmi
l
esagenui
neone.Forasecondi
thoughthi
smoodchange.

Muzi
:"Thati
sagoodi
dea.Wewi
l
ldr
ivet
othenear
estshoppi
ngcent
er"

Me:
"Andonel
astt
hing"

Muzi
:"What?
"

Me:
"Youwi
l
lsee.Justhopey
ouwi
l
lsayy
es"

Muzi
:"I
fit
snotbadandcompr
imi
sesy
oursaf
etyt
heny
es"

Me:
"Ahbaba"

Wel
aughed.

Muzi
:"Yout
alkt
oomuch"

Me:
"Youl
ovemel
i
ket
hat"

Muzi
:"Andi
wonderwhy?"

Iplayf
ull
ypushedhi
m.Wel
aughedandhedrovet
otheshoppi
ngcent
er.Webasi
cal
l
ybought
groceri
esandhepai
dwhi
chwearguedabout.

Muzi
:"Youhav
etogetusedt
omepay
ingwheny
ouar
ewi
thme"

Me:
"Ial
sowant
edt
ocont
ri
but
e"

Muzi
:"I
tsourshar
eLum l
um.Don'
twor
ryandwhatar
ethebal
l
oonsf
or?"

Me:
"Nj
e"

Heshookhisheadandgavethecarguar
dmoneyandwegoti nandhedroveofftothesi
de
wher
eNdaloliv
es.Wellweaskedal
otofpeopleonthewayfordir
ecti
onsandthebowingandal
l
.
Wowi st
il
lcan'
tgetenoughofhowbeauti
fulandref
reshi
ngthi
sKingdom i
s.Ipluggedi
nmy

102
phoneandPl
ayedmysongs.Muzi
shookhi
sheadbutwedancedt
othem.

Me&Muzi
:"(Si
ngi
ng)Ev
erywher
eshego

Theypl
ayi
nmysongs

That
'swhyi
sayt
het
hings

Isayt
hatwayy
oucan'
tignor
eme.

Soandso(Laughi
ng)y
eah

Justgi
vemeal
lofy
oui
nexchangef
orme

Justgi
vemeal
lofy
oui
nexchangef
ormef
orme

.
[Muzi
alone]

Muzi
:"Br
eaki
tdown

Yeah,
aySi
r

Check

Weusedt
olayupandt
henst
ayup

Hav
esexandt
henbl
owgame

Ishoul
dhav
epl
ayednogameswi
tchuj
ustl
evel
l
edupmyway

Lastt
imei
Sawy
oui
nthest
reet
s

Thatwasst
range

GuessTher
e'snot
hingi
coul
ddo

Yeah

I
tist
rueEx'
schange(y
eah)

Ex'
schangef
ort
hebet
ter(bet
ter)

Iknowy
ouknow howt
omakemej
eal
ous

Iwasnev
erl
oyal
letmet
ell
you

Thati
am r
eadyt
ofi
xiti
fyour
eady

Oh "

103
Hesai
dthel
astpar
twi
thasmi
rkwhi
l
elooki
ngatme.Goshi
mel
ted.

Me:
"Br
ysont
il
lerwi
l
lsuey
ou"

Muzi
:"Iwasgood"

Me:
"Yepsomepar
ts"

Muzi
:"Li
key
ouknewt
hem "

Hewasr
ight

Me:
"Mxm Yaphapha"

Hechuckl
ed.

Muzi
:"Lov
eyout
ooLum l
um "

Ibl
ushed.

Muzi
:"AndsheBl
ushes,
Scor
eMuzi
"

Il
aughed

Me:
"Fora31y
earol
dyouar
esur
esi
l
ly"

Muzi
:"Youmakemesi
l
ly"

Ismi
l
ed.

Muzi
:"Lookdoesn'
tthatl
ookl
i
keNdal
o?"

Il
ookedoverandthat
sheri
nthef
iel
dswi
thot
herwomenaswel
l
.Somehav
ebabi
esont
hei
r
backsi
nthi
sblazi
ngsun.

Me:
"i
tis."

It
ri
edt
oopent
hedoorbutMuzi
lockedi
t

Me:
"Muzi
".

Muzi
:"Mmh"

Me:
"(pout
ing)i
wannacomeout"

Muzi
:"wai
tfort
hecart
ost
opLum l
um.I
tsdanger
ous"

Il
aidbackont
hel
eat
herseat
s

Me:
"Youar
eri
ght"

104
Hef oundaplacetopar
kandgotout.Mydoorwassti
lll
ockedandheopenedmysi deandt he
peoplehavestoppedworki
ngandwerel
ooki
ngatus.Iwasabi tshy.TheseeyesmyGod.He
cl
osedt hedoorandhel
dmyhandandi br
eathedoutbefor
ewewal kedtowardsthem whi
l
e
greeti
ng.

Women:
"Yourhi
ghness"

Theybowedandababycri
edwhil
etherewassil
ence.Theydi
dn'
tall
lookinagoodst
ateev
en
thebl
ankett
hatwaswr
appi
ngthechil
ddidn'
tlookok.Myheartbl
edforthem.

Me:
"Cani
hol
dher?
"

Thewomenlookedatmeandhesit
atedabitbef
orebr
ingi
ngdownherchi
l
dfr
om herbackandi
hel
dher
.If
elli
nlovewit
hthechi
l
d.Iloveki
dsingener
al.

Me:
"Whati
shername?
"

Woman:
"Gci
niwemyQueen"

Ichuckl
ed

Me:
"Iam notaQueenandcal
lmeLandi
swapl
easeMah"

Shesmi
l
ed.

Woman:
"It
sni
cebuti
can'
t"

Il
ookedatMuzi
.

Muzi
:"Ndal
o"

Shecamet
owar
dsusandbowed.Theyal
ll
ookedi
nfear.

Ndal
o:"Yourhi
ghness"

Muzi
:"Wecamet
oseey
ou"

Sheshotherheadup

Hermot
her:
"Iam sor
ryMyPr
incef
oranycr
imeshehascommi
ted."

Shesai
dbowi
ng

Muzi
:"(chuckl
i
ng)wor
rynotshehasnotcommi
tedanycr
ime.Wej
ustcamet
oseeher"

Iwaspl
ayi
ngwi
tht
hebaby

Me:
"Iwi
l
lseey
ousomet
imeGci
ni"

105
Igav
ethebabybackt
othemot
herandMuzi
hel
dmyhand.

Me:
"Howar
eyouNdal
o?"

Ndal
o:"Fi
neMi
ss"

Me:
"It
sgoodt
oseey
ou"

Ismi l
edandshedi
dt oo.Shelooksl
i
keshehasn'teat
en.Theyf
ini
shedt
hei
rwor
kaswe
helpedandthenwetookthem t
othei
rhome.ItwasaneatMudhouse.Wegavet
hem
groceri
esandhermotherwassheddi
ngtear
swhichmademecr ywhil
eshewast
hanki
ngus.

Hermot
her:
"(cr
ying)Godbl
essy
ou"

Muzi
:"Thi
sisnot
hingMah.Thanky
ou"

Hesmi
l
ed.Thatf
eltgood.Doi
ngsomet
hingni
ce

Me:
"Howol
dar
eyouNdal
o?"

Ndal
o:"17"

Nev
ert
hought

Me:
"youst
il
li
nschool
right?"

Shenodded

Me:"Imayhavegi
venuponmydreamsbutdon'
tev
ergi
veupony
our
s.Don'
tlookaty
our
si
tuat
ionasast
opbutastr
uggl
etosuccess

Ndal
o:"Thanky
ousi
si"

Ihuggedher
.

I
twasget
ti
ngl
ate

Muzi
:"Wehav
etol
eav
enow.Wewi
l
lvi
sitsoon"

Theynoddedandt
hankedusmor
ebef
orewel
eft
.

Me:
"Mani
am t
ir
edbutt
hatwasni
ce.If
eel
all
thei
rpai
n.

Muzi
:"Yeah.Idi
dn'
tknowal
loft
hatandt
hissi
de"

Me:
"Youneedt
oexpl
oreMyPr
ince"

Muzi
:"wi
thy
ouher
ewewi
l
l"

Ismi
l
ed.Ther
ewassi
l
ence

106
Muzi
:"Seei
ngNdal
o'ssi
tuat
iongotmet
hinki
ng"

Me:
"about?"

Muzi
:"Thef
utur
e.ImaynotbeKi
ngsoonbutt
hisi
sal
somyKi
ngdom "

Me:
"Sowhatdoy
oumean?"

Muzi:"Imeanthatiwantt
ostar
taschol
arshi
pprogram ,Gi
ve15Scholar
shi
psto15kidsever
y
yeart
ot hem.Sotheycanst
udywhat
evert
heylikef
rom thi
skingdom t
obett
eri
tandgetthem
outofPov er
ty"

Me:
"Ohmygosht
hat
ssoni
ce.
Youwoul
ddot
hatf
ort
heki
ds?"

Muzi
:"Yeah,
Itwoul
dputgooduset
omymoneyandi
tssomet
hingi
wantt
odo"

Me:
"Buti
sn'
tli
ke15t
oomuch"

Muzi
:"Don'
twor
ryaboutt
hemoneywej
usthav
etof
igur
eitout
."

Me:
"Ok."

Muzi
:"Andi
alr
eadyhav
etwocandi
dat
es"

Me:
"Who?
"

Muzi
:"Ndal
oandy
ou"

Il
ookedathi
m whi
l
ehemov
edhi
shandsont
hest
ari
ngwheel
andl
ookal
lcool
y.

Me:
"Me?Whyme?
"

Muzi:"Iwanty
out
oal
soachi
evey
ourDr
eamsj
ustl
i
kehowy
ouwantNt
ombi
andNdal
oto
achi
evethei
rs"

Me:
"butt
heyar
eyoung.I
tsst
il
lear
lyf
ort
hem "

Muzi
:"butnotlat
efory
ou,
(hol
dingmyhand)Lum l
um.I
fnotf
ory
our
sel
fthenf
orNt
ombi
but
most
lyyoursel
f"

Igi
ggl
edwi
tht
ear
s.Real
l
yidon'
tknowwhatt
osay
.

Muzi
:"Youar
ebr
eaki
ngmyhear
twheny
oucr
y"

Hepout
ed.Il
aughedandwi
pedmyt
ear
s.

Me:
"Thanky
ou"

Muzi
:"(smi
l
ing)I
tsal
way
sapl
easur
ewi
thy
ou"

107
Ismi l
edandkissedhischeek.Wegott ohome.Well i
wi l
lcall
itt
hatf
ornowandwewentupt he
stair
sandwentt ogetwashed.Weshower edindi
fferentroomsandigotdressedinagreyand
blackscorchmi niski
rtwithablacklongsleevet
opandi worefl
opsandti
edmyhai ri
ntoabun.
Itooktheball
onsandi st
artedf
ixingthem upandotherthingsandiwentdownt hest
air
sand
Muzi hasn'
tcamedown.Iputev erythi
nginthebootandwentt ocall
him.Itwasgetti
ngdark.

Me:
"Muzi
hur
ry,
Youar
edr
essi
ngl
i
keagi
rl!
"

Herusheddownthest
air
s.Ki
l
lmenowmybutter
cupthi
smanisoozi
ngsex.Helooksso
yummyi nhi
sbl
ackshort
swit
habl
ackt
shi
rtandsneakers.Hi
sbr
ackethai
ryl
egsaremaki
ng
him mor
esexy.

Muzi
:"Cl
osey
ourmout
hLum l
um f
li
eswi
l
lfl
yin."

Me:
"Mxm "

Hechuckl
edandper
kesmyl
i
ps.

Muzi
:"Lov
eyoubun"

Me:
"yousogay"

Mmmhhesmel
l
edsogood.

Me:
"comel
etsgo"

Wewal
kedoutandgoti
nthecarandhedr
oveof
f"

Muzi
:"Sowher
eist
heLocat
ionMyl
ady"

Me:
"byt
hewat
er"

Muzi
:"Ri
verorwat
erf
all
buti
tsl
ate"

Me:
"thenaf
iel
dbutcanheart
hewat
erst
il
l"

Muzi
:"Ok.Iknow aper
fectpl
ace"

Hecarri
edondr i
vingandwewer eli
sterningtoMusic.Wegottothatpl
aceandi twasdar
k
now.Hepar kedthecarandtheheadlightswereon.Igotoffandwenttoopenthebootand
tookouttheBatteryLEDl
ight
s,li
keLant ernsl
ikeandigav
eonet oMuzianditookone.

Muzi
:"Ok."

Me:
"Let
sst
andi
nfr
ontoft
hecar"

Itookoutt
hebal
l
oonsandt
her
ewer
e7.Cl
earbuthadgol
dfl
uffi
nsi
de.Igav
ehi
mthr
eeandi
took4.

108
Me:"Sowearegonnaplayagame.Wegonnawr itewhatwewanttosaytoeachotherand
t
henyoupushthepaperintothehol
epipethingt
hatyouarehol
dingfort
hebal
loontostand.
Whenwearedone.Wear egonnaexchangetheball
onsandpopthem "

Muzi
:"SoundsFunbutwhataboutt
he4t
hone"

Ismi
l
e

Me:"Well
thi
sonewil
lbespeci
al.Wewri
tesomethi
ngthatwegetf
rom thebot
tom ofour
hear
tsf
oreachot
herandthenweputournot
esintoget
herandpopthem t
oget
her"

Muzi
:"okl
etsst
art"

Me:
"Let
smegr
abt
henot
epadandpens."

Iwentt othecarandthemusicwaspl ay
ingl oudenought
ohear.Tevi
nCampbellwaspl
aying.
Sor ryguy
sbuti am anol
dskooljunki
esof or
giveme.Igavehim hi
snotepadandpenandwe
startedwriti
ngwhil
eourball
oonsareinthecarandheputhisinandididthesameonall
my
threeandt hent
heforthonewedi daswellandi t
ookthe4andhetookhis3.Wewentinfront
oft hecar.

Me:
"(Br
eat
hingout)ok"

Muzi
:"what
everwewr
oteher
eihopemyonesdon'
taf
fecty
ou"

Oknow hei
sscar
yingme.Weexchangedandi
gav
ehi
m api
nofhi
sown.

Me:
"Youst
art"

Muzi
:"l
adi
esf
ir
st"

Me:
"Mmmh"

Hechuckl
edandi
closedmyey
esandpoppedi
tandt
hegl
i
tterspi
l
ledonme.

Muzi
:"sogi
rl
y"

Me:
"Ithast
obe"

Hesmi
rkedshaki
nghi
sheadandt
henot
ewasont
hef
loorsoi
pickedi
tupandopenedi
t.

Me:"
(readi
ng)Idon'
tev
enknowwhatt
osaybutonet
hingi
knowi
sthati
wanti
ttol
ast,
you
bymysidethati
s"

Ibl
ushed.

Me:
"Ncoh"

Hechuckl
ed.

109
Muzi
:"mx
m"

Me:
"socheesy"

Hepoppedhi
sbal
l
oonandpi
ckeduphi
snot
e.

Muzi:
"(r
eading)Iknowat
housandswor
dswon'
tmessur
etohowmuchi
am t
hankf
uland
gr
atef
ulofyou"

Hesmi
l
ed.

Muzi
:"Ar
ghmanl
ookwhoi
scheesy"

Me:
"mxm "

Ipoppedmynextbal
l
oon

Me:"(Readi
ng)If
indmy
sel
fcount
ingmybl
essi
ngsandTheset
wowomenat
housandmor
e
t
imes"

Il
ookathi
m andhesmi
l
es

Me:
"Theot
heroneswekeept
henwepopt
hel
astone"

Muzi
:"ok"

Itakehisoneandmyone.Wecandi
ffer
eci
atecauseiwrot
eonthem andt
hef
luf
f.Hi
sisgol
d
andmi neispi
nk.Iwal
kbackt
ohi
m andwear ehol
dingonebal
l
ooneach.Hepopshi
s.

Muzi:
"(readi
ng)All
myl i
fe,ipray
edf
orsomeoneli
key
ou,
andi
thankgodi
final
l
yfoundy
ou.I
f
indmy sel
fthi
nki
ngaboutthatwheni
thi
nkabouty
ou"

Hesmi
l
esandki
ssesmyf
orehead.

Muzi
:"Iam keepi
ngt
hese"

Me:
"scr
apbookerwow"

Muzi
:"i
don'
tcar
e"

Me:
"(br
eat
hing)Wepopt
hisonet
oget
her"

Muzi
:"Won'
twehur
teachot
her?
"

Me:
"no"

Muzi
:"ok."

Wecl
osedourey
esandpoppedi
ttoget
herandt
henot
esf
ell
.Wecoul
dseewhi
chonei
fforwho

110
becauseoft
henot
epadcol
ourdi
ff
erence.It
ookt
heonementf
orme.

Me: "(r
eading)Landi swaiam notgoodwi t
hwor dsatall.Iusedt ofail
oralsinschoolandhate
them withessay sbuti f
indmy sel
fapoetwi t
hy ouf orthef i
rstti
meandcoul dwr i
tewhatmy
hearthasdisplayedf oryou.Iknowhowmybr otherhashur tyouandi don'twantittoseem l
ike
iam taki
ngadv antageoftheopportunit
y.Beli
eveme, istaywakeatni ghtlooki
ngaty ouand
wonderhowi fellforyou.Notbecausei couldn'
tbuti nevert houghtiwouldf al
lforsomeonei n
myl i
febuty oupr ovedmewr ong.Youmakemef al l
foryouef fort
lessly
.Goodt hingscomet o
thosewhowai tandwi thyouiam will
ingtodot hat.IloveuLuml um.Tr ustmei ficoulddi
splay
myhear tandwhati thasforyouiwoul dinahear tbeat"

Ifoundmysel
fintearsandi j
usthuggedhim andhehuggedmeback.Westay
edli
kethatf
or
somet i
mebeforebreakingi
toff.Hewi pedmytearsandper
kedmyfor
eheadandist
epped
backandther
ewassi lencebefor
eher eadhi
s.

Muzi:"
(Reading)I t
snotthatyouracti
onsar en'
trecognised.Theyare.Isti
l
lwonderwhati s
dif
fer
entabouty outhati
juststopstar
eandsmi l
eonmyown.Wei rdiknow, Whatprayerdi
d
MaDlamsprayf orsomeonesosel fl
esslikeyoutowal kinourlivesandtur
nadar kcloudint
o
sunshi
ne.It
saloti cansayaboutyout hatcomef rom thebottom ofmyhear tbutonethi
ngi
wanttogetoffmychesti s..
..
..
..

Hel
ookedatme

Me"ILov
eyouandi
wantt
ogi
veusat
ry"

Ibitmybot t
om li
p.Hewassti
llandnotmov i
ngandiwasgett
ingnervous.Maybeiwasbeing
forwardandhedidntwantar
elati
onshipwit
hme.Landiswayoujustgotoutofonewithhi
s
brother
.Iclosedmyeyesast
earsrandownandi fel
thi
m hol
dmycheekswi t
hbothhishands
andheper kedmyl i
psandwi
pedmyt ear
s.

Muzi
:"Il
ovey
ouwi
thal
lthati
sinme."

Myhear
tfel
tateasewhenhesai
dthat

Me:
"I.
..
Ilov
eyout
oo"

Hislipscoll
i
dedwi t
hmi neandhedi dn'tmov eandneitherdidi.Iwasstil
ltaki
ngi nwhatwas
sai
dandhebi tmybot t
om li
pslowlybef orecar r
yingthekiss.Il
aidmyhandonhi schestandhe
mov edhisonehandt omywai standmyot hertohisneck.Hebr oughtmecl osertohim andit
s
l
ikewear econnecti
ng.Hewasexpr essi nghisemot i
onst hroughthi
skissandsowasI .Itwas
burningsomet hi
ngthatihaveneverf el
tbef oreandwhatmadet hiski
sssoper fectwast he
songpl ay
inginthebackgroundbyTev inCampbel l
.Al
way sinmyhear t
.

[
Chor
us]

"I
finev
erev
ersayt
hati
lov
eyou

111
Justr
emembergi
rl

I
'
m say
ingi
do

Youcanknow t
hatf
rom t
hismoment

Thaty
oual
way
sinmyhear
t

I
finev
erev
ersayt
hati
lov
eyou

Justr
emembergi
rl

I
'
m say
ingi
do,
lov
eyou

Youal
way
sinmyhear
t

Theynott
heoneswhobet
her
efory
ou

Wheny
ouneedsomeonet
otur
nto.
..
..
..
..
..
..
.. "

Webr
oket
heki
ssandheper
kedmyl
i
psandpl
acedhi
sfor
eheadonmi
newhi
l
elooki
ngdown.

Muzi
:"Il
ovey
ou"

Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"

Heper
kedmylipsandwehugged.Kissunderthemoonandstar
s.Thatwassoperf
ectand
bei
ngi
nhisar
mswasabonusev en.Ilov
ethismanandihaveneverfel
tthi
swaybefor
e..
..
..
..
..

I
NSERTSI
X-TEEN

*
MUZI*

112
.

Dayshav epassedandNt ombi isatt hepal acest i

llwithmom andNoma, Shei senj oyi
ngher
ti
mebei ngapr i
ncessbutwegoev erydayj usttoseeher .Landiswaf eelshomesi ckabi t
becauseshemi ssesMaDl amsandi i
nvit
edhert othecor i
nationbutsher efusedandsai dshe
will
seeLandi swaaf terthecor i
nat ionsheshoul dst opbei ngababy .Il aughedatt hatsoi
i
nv i
tedherf r
iendAmanda.Tr ustmei twaseasyt ogethol dofherandi tseemsl i
keshei sa
partyanimal .Menzi anddadwi thSengway o( tr
adit
ional healer)areatt hemount ainfort he
pastfewday spr eparingMenzi forhi sKingship.St i
ckscamei nthedayi toldhimt ocomeand
i
tturnsoutt hatt henot ecomesf rom someonewhoi sbasedi nSpain.Ican' treall
yr emember
anyonei knowwhocomesf rom t herebutany wayletsgetbackt onow.Twoday sbef orethe
Corinati
onandt hingshav ebeengr eat.Iam fall
ingdeeperanddeeperi nLov ewi t
hLandi swa
everydayandherwant i
ngtogi veusat r
yissomet hingt hatj ustmakesmehappy .Iwokeup
andshewasnotnextt omewhi chwasaf irst
.Igotof fthebedandwentt ot hebat hroom andi
tookashower .Af t
eronei gotoutandi t
ookat owel andwr appeditaroundmywai standi went
tothebedr oom andi twasal lcleanedup.Iwentt ot heclosetandi decidedt owearmy
sweat pantsonl ysi nceitshott odayandi walkedoutandwentdownt hest air
s.Icoul dhear
themusi cplayingandsomeonesi ngingalong.

"seey
ouf
acet
oface

It
hinkaboutt
heday
sweusedt
obe

Buti
can'
tmakei
tseem

Buti
can'
tmakei
tseem.

Seey
ouf
acet
ofacei
thi
nk

Aboutt
heday
sweusedt
obe

Buti
can'
tmakei
tseem

Buti
can'
tmakei
tseem

Li
kei
wanty
ou

You,
you

Ev
eni
fit
str
ue

Ev
eni
fit
str
ue"

Isnuckupbei
ndherandki
ssedherneckandshej
umped.

113
Landi
swa:
"OhmygodMuzi
youscar
edme"

Me:
"Mor
ningl
um Lum "

Shet
urnedandhel
dmyneckandgav
emeaper
kwhi
l
esmi
l
ing.

Landi
swa:
"mor
ningbabybear"

Me:
"(smi
l
ing)i
lov
ethesoundoft
hat"

Landi
swa:
"Wel
ll
etmef
ini
shupher
esowecaneatandl
azyar
oundt
oday"

Me:
"Doessomet
hingel
sei
nvol
vel
azy
ingar
ound?
"

Shehi
tmychest

Landi
swa:
"youar
esodi
rt
yMr"

Me:
"Ican'
thel
pmy
sel
f"

Landi
swa:
"wel
lhel
pyour
sel
f."

Ther
ewasabuzzont
hedoor
.

Me:
"iwi
l
lgogeti
t"

Landi
swa:
"wear
eeat
ingout
sidet
oday"

Me:
"Ok"

Iper
kedherl
i
ps.

Me:
"il
ovey
ou"

Landi
swa:
"(bl
ushi
ng)gogett
hedoor"

Ichuckl
eandgowhil
eshetakesthefoodout
.Iopent
hedoorandaGi
rlwal
ksi
nwi
thaguy
.
Shelooksl
ikeasl
ayqueenpart
yanimalty
pe.

Lady:"Yohumunt
usengazeagobeamadol
oemi
l
eyoh(y
ohaper
soncanhav
ebentkneeswi
th
them st
andi
ng)"

Me:
"Andwhoar
eyou?"

Theguar
dscamei
nwi
tht
hebagsandputt
hem down.

Lady:
"oouh.
Niceandsexy"

Man:
"Amanda"

114
Lady:
"hawubabyi
am j
ustl
ooki
ngnot
hingel
se.Youknowi
lov
eyou"

Themangr
oaned

Me:
"ohy
ouar
eAmanda"

Lady:
"Ohy
ouar
e..
..
.?"

Me:
"Muzi
"

l
ady:
"ohwher
eisLandi
swa.Ouuht
hispl
acei
sdope.Weshoul
dpar
ty"

Man:
"no"

Landi
swawal
kedi
n

Landi
swa:
"Babewhoi
satt
hedoor?
"

Amanda:
"Bi
tch!
"

Landi
swa:
"Whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?"

Theyhuggedeachot
herandmybabywascr
ying.

Me:
"Lum l
um y
ouknowwhaty
ourt
ear
sdot
ome"

Landi
swa:
"it
sjustt
ear
sofj
oy.
HeyMandl
a"

Theyhugged

Mandl
a:"Heydon'
tknowy
ouany
mor
eyouar
ehi
ding"

Landi
swa:
"beenbusyl
atel
y."

Ihel
dLandi
swabyt
hewai
st

Landi
swa:
"whatar
eyouguy
sdoi
ngher
e?"

Amanda:
"wear
eher
efort
heKi
ngcr
owi
ningt
hingangazi
butwewer
einv
ited"

shesai
dwav
ingherhandi
ntheai
r.Landi
swal
ookedatme

Landi
swa:
"Thanky
ou"

Shegav
emeaki
ssont
hel
i
ps.

Amanda:
"wehav
eal
otofcat
chi
ngupt
odo"

Mandl
a:"
wehav
ebeengoi
ngonal
ongj
our
neywecoul
duseabi
te"

115
Landi
swa:
"Goodt
hingi
hav
eanappi
ti
tecomet
hiswayt
otheout
side"

Theywal
kedt
hatsi
deandwest
ayed

Landi
swa:
"shecanbet
oomuchbutt
hanky
ou"

Me:
"il
ovey
ou"

Shegi
ggl
edandweshar
edaki
ssbef
orewal
ki
ngout
.

*
LANDI
SWA*

Sosincebr
eakfastwasdonewewashedt
hedi
shesandMuzisaidheandMandl
awill
got othe
Pal
aceandseehowt hingsar
egoi
ngandMeandAmandadecidedtogotot
heshoppingcenter
tobuyafewstuff.

Me:
"yohi
hav
emi
ssedhome"

Amanda:
"Manj
etel
lme,
YouandHunkman.?What
sisgoi
ngon?"

Ibl
ush

Me:
"Justt
hat"

Amanda:
"justt
hatwhat?Wer
en'
tyoudat
ingy
ourboss"

Me:
"Iwasbuthewasmar
ri
edMngani
longst
oryshor
thewant
smet
obehi
ssecondwi
fe"

Amanda:
"Shar
edi
ckFor
getmnt
aka,
Ihopey
out
oldhi
mtoVoet
sekt
ohel
l"

Il
aughed

Me:
"Idi
dn'
tbuti
didn'
tAccept"

Amanda:
"Youar
esof
twenaLah,
Minahewoul
dhav
eshi
tonhi
msel
f.Mxm "

Il
aughed.Yohi
missedhersomuch.

Amanda:
"Andt
hent
hebeast"

116
Me:
"Youar
enotl
ett
ingt
hisgo?"

Amanda:
"No"

Me:
"It
shi
stwi
nbr
other"

Amanda:
"(onecl
ap)Yesgi
rl,
Bany
ise!
!Youar
erol
l
ing.Nowt
hat
srev
enge"

Me:
"Hai
boi
justl
i
kehi
m"

Ibl
ush

Amanda:
"Li
kehi
m ?Wai
tyoul
ovehi
m ohmygoshy
ouar
egl
owi
ng"

Me:
"(bl
ushi
ng)l
eav
emeal
one"

Amanda:
"Ohmygodchomi
!!"

Welaughed.Thedri
verwaslookingatus.Amandai ssol oudyoh.Wegottotheshopping
cent
erandwewentbr owsing.Iactual
lywenttotheSalonanddidmyhair.Li
keididbraidsi
am
notreall
yafanofweavesandt heyareexpensi
vesoi havetousemoneywiselyt
houghMuzi
gavemehi scar
dbutiwon'tusei t.Wegotdonewi t
hourhairanditookoutmycard.Iam
spoi
lingAmandatoday.

Amanda:
"HawuandPr
incent
onnt
ondi
dn'
tgi
vey
ouhi
scar
d?"

Me:
"Hedi
dbuti
don'
twannausei
t"

Amanda:
"Whynot,
Youar
ehi
swoman.Gi
vemet
hecar
dke"

Shet
ookmybagandt
ookoutt
hecar
dandt
heyswi
ped.

Amanda:
"Punchi
nthpi
nMnt
ase.Wear
egonnagoshoppi
ng"

Me:
"Hay
i"

Iputi
nthepi
nandt
hetransacti
onisdone.Idon'
tfeel
goody
etmybestf
ri
endi
ssohappy
.My
phonerangi
mmedi
atel
yandi twasMuzi

Me:
"Ohmygodi
tshi
m."

Amanda:
"yohy
ouony
ourownt
her
e."

Hai
bo.Ianswer
ed.

Muzi
:"Lum l
um "

Me:
"Iam sor
ry,
iwi
l
lpayi
tback"

117
Hel
aughed

Muzi
:"Babecal
m downandbr
eat
h"

Idi
dn'
treal
i
sei
wast
alki
ngsof
ast
.

Me:
"Ok"

Muzi
:"Spendi
t.Iam j
usthappyy
ouar
esi
ncey
ouar
esost
ubbor
n"

Me:
"Wow"

Hechuckl
ed.

Muzi
:"Il
ovey
ou"

Ibl
ushed

Me:
"Il
ovey
out
ooGumede"

Muzi
:"Shi
tbaby,
Buysomet
hingf
orme"

Ismi
l
ed

Me:
"iwi
l
l.Letmego"

Hehungupandi
tur
nedt
oAmanda

Amanda:
"HeehGumede"

Me:
"Justl
eav
emeal
oneandl
etsspend"

Amanda:
"nowy
ouar
etal
ki
ng".

I
NSERTSEVEN-
TEEN

Amanda:
"That
senoughnowi
am t
ir
ed"

118
Shesai
dwhi
l
ecal
l
ingt
hewai
terf
ort
hef
oodor
der

Me:
"Youar
etheonewhot
ookusshopt
oshop"

Amanda:
"Phel
athi
sisaoncei
nal
i
fet
imeoppor
tuni
tysoi
shoul
dgr
abi
twi
thbot
hhands"

Thewai
tercame

Wai
ter:
"Goodaf
ter
noonmynamei
sSandi
l
eandi
wil
lbey
ourwai
terf
ort
oday"

Amanda:
"Pl
easegetmeabot
tl
eofwi
nei
needi
tandy
ourmostdel
i
ciousf
ood"

Hi
m:"y
esMam.Andy
ouMi
ss"

Me:
"Thesame."

Hewal
kedof
f.

Me:
"Sot
ell
mewhathasbeenhappeni
ningi
nyourl
i
fe?
"

Amanda:
"Fanel
eisback"

Shesai
ddr
ained.Thati
sMandl
a'
sBabymama.Shei
sapai
n.

Me:
"Whatdi
dshedo?
"

Amanda:
"Sher
efusedf
orMandl
atoseehi
schi
l
dandt
hreat
enedmel
i
kei
am scar
edofher"

Me:
"Yohsor
ryMnt
ase"

Amanda:
"Ncey
i(si
gh)sot
ell
memor
eabouty
ou"

Ismi
l
ed

Amanda:
"Wedon'
tneedagener
atordur
ingl
oadsheddi
ngbecausey
ougl
owal
ot"

Me:
"Mxm y
ouar
efor
war
dyouknow."

Amanda:
"ILov
eyout
oo"

Wel
aughed.

Me:
"wel
liam goi
ngt
oschool
nexty
ear"

Amanda:
"How?"

Shegav
emeaquest
ioni
ngl
ook.

Me:
"Somehow"

119
Idi
dn'
twanttotel
lherti
ll
iam sur
emy
sel
f.Imeanany
thi
ngcanhappenf
rom nowt
il
lthenext4
monthsl
eftoft
heyear.

Amanda:
"Youshoul
d.Iam pr
oudofy
ou"

Ismi
l
ed.

Me:
"ThanksBabes"

Ourfoodcameandweenj oyeachother
scompanyandi pai
dthenweleft
.Thedri
verwas
al
readyattheexitandwel
oadedourstuf
fandgotinanditdr
oveoff
.Wer eachedthe
PenthouseanditSeemedl
ikether
ewasCompany .Wegotoutandwalkedinsi
deandther
ewas
shouti
ngandtalking.

Muzi
:"Mal
umepl
easet
ell
yourwi
fet
ocal
mitdown"

Woman:"HeehMuziwhycan'
tyougetmar
ri
edandhav
eawi
fe.Bukasekuphekami
namanj
e
(l
ooki
.am t
heonecooki
ngnow)"

Wegoti
n.

Amanda:
"Sani
bonani
"

Mandl
a:"Babe"

Theyki
ssed

Woman:
"Andt
hen?
"

Muzi
:"Theywi
l
lbest
ayi
ngwi
thus.Mal
umey
oushoul
dhav
ecomet
omor
row "

Hi
suncl
e:"y
oudon'
twantusher
e?"

Muzi
:"Idi
dn'
tsayt
hat"

Woman:
"Andwhoar
eyou?"

Shel
ookedatmeupanddown

Me:
"Landi
swa"

Shecl
appedherhands

Woman: "Heeh.I
sonasf
ebeuMbal
ikadeekhal
angaso?(i
sthi
sthehoet
hatMbal
iwascr
ying
about?
"

Shegav
emeadeat
hst
are

Muzi
:"Mal
umekazi
don'
ttestmepl
ease"

120
Me:
"ni
cet
omeety
ou"

Iwal
kedupt hestai
rsandgotinthebedroom.Iputthebagsdownandwenttotakeashower.
Whatdi
di expect?Iam t
hesidechickandt heyl
ovethei
rMakoti,
Ididn'
tknowthatMenzi
was
twot
imingme.Tear slef
tmyey esandifeltsomeoneholdmefrom behi
nd.

Me:
"Muzi
"

Muzi
:"Shhi
tsok.Don'
tl
ist
ernt
oherbutme.Il
ovey
ounomat
terwhatok?"

It
urnedt
ohi
m.

Muzi
:"y
ouar
ewet
ti
ngy
ourbeaut
if
ulbr
aids"

Igi
ggl
ed

Me:
"Iwi
l
ldr
ythem "

Hepul
l
edmet
ohi
schest

Muzi
:"Whatdi
dyougetf
orme?
"

Me:
"Let
sfi
nishupsoi
canshowy
ou"

Wetookourshowerandt
hengotoutandwedr
iedandi
wor
etr
acksui
tst
hati
boughtanhedi
d
t
hesame.

Muzi
:"So?"

Hesai
dwi
thasmi
rk

Me:
"ay
iwai
taf
ewday
s."

Hesul
ked.

Muzi
:"sot
her
emai
ningBal
l
oon.Whencani
popi
t?"

Me:
"Any
time."

Per
kedmyl
i
ps.

Muzi
:"Let
sgoi
am hungr
y"

Me:
"iwi
l
lst
ayi
nher
e"

Muzi
:"Lum l
um "

Me:
"Youcango"

Hesi
ghedandheki
ssedmycheekandt
henwal
kedout

121
.

*
MBALI*

Iwasinmyroom asitisthedayf
orthecor
inati
on.Iam ner
vousandsoscared.Twomore
monthst
ogobeforei giv
ebirt
h.Themaidf
ixesmyheadwr apbutitell
them t
ogetoutand
l
eavemealone.Ibreathinandoutast
henervouskicki
n.Irubmyst omachandtheQueen
wal
ksin.

Queen:
"Mychi
l
dwhati
swr
ong?

Ibr
eat
hout
.

Me:
"Isi
tgoodt
obescar
ed?"

Shesmi
l
ed.

Queen:
"It
snor
mal
.Iam sur
pri
sedwhyy
ouar
enotcr
ying.Icr
iedonmyday"

Me:
"That
sbecausei
wasgr
oomedt
obeone,
Oneday"

Shet
ookmyhands.

Queen:
"Yesy
ouwer
egr
oomed.Iwasn'
t.Iam notr
oyal
ty.Iam j
ustl
i
keLandi
swawheni
grew
up"

Thatnamepi
ssesmeof
f

Me:
"WhatdoesLandi
swahav
etodoaboutt
his?
"

Queen:
"Iguessnot
hing"

Me:
"Exact
lynot
hing.Pl
easecani
hav
emyownt
ime"

Queen:
"Asy
ouwi
sh."

Shest
oodupanswal
kedout
.Mymoodj
ustwentdowni
naf
lash.Myphoner
angandi
twas

122
Menzi.Imisshim ev
enthoughiam madathi
m buti
real
l
ydomi
sshi
m.Iansweront
he
secondri
ng.Si
lencewasbetweenus.

Menzi
:"Baby"

Ikeepqui
etabi
t.

Menzi
:"(si
gh)howar
eyou?
"

Ij
ustbr
eakdowni
ntot
ear
s.Thi
sbabyt
hough

Me:
"Iam scar
ed."

Menzi
:"Shhdon'
tbe.Wear
eint
hist
oget
her"

Inodded.

Me:
"Ok"

Menzi
:"Babyi
lov
eandt
hanky
ouf
orev
ery
thi
ngandi
am sor
ry"

Me:
"Wewi
l
ltal
kaf
tert
hecor
inat
ion"

Menzi
:"Ok.Il
ovey
ou"

Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"

Ismil
edaswehungup.Oknowi am r
eady
.Theser
vantscamebackinandpreparedmewhile
themakeupteam al
socameanddi
dmymakeupbeforeweheardthehornsandthatmeans
mywelcomingbef
oreMenzi
.

Gai
l:
"Goodl
uck"

Shei
smysi
ster
.Wehugged

Me:
"Thanky
ou"

Wewal kedoutandiwalkeddownswi ft
lybef
oreandseemypar ent
sandMenzi '
spar
ents.I
bowedandt henwewalkedoutandi wasescourt
edtothethrownr oom.Ev er
yonewas
cheeri
ngandallhappyandiwast oo.Sengwayoburnedtheincenseandt henheputthe
Leapordskinonmeandsl i
tmywr ist
sandbloodcameoutt henhet ookmyhandandt he
dropl
etsdroppedinwater.Theybandadgedmeandt henmademesi tontheQueensThrown.
Shecamef orthenshetookoffhershoesandtookoffhercrownandsheputi tonmyheadt hen
bowedaf t
er.

Queen:
"QueenNomal
anga"

Ismi
l
ed.Shet
henwal
kedof
fandi
stoodupandpeopl
ecar
ri
edoncheer
ing.Menzi
was

123
escortedi
nandBoydi dhelookhandsome.Hestoodnextt
omeandhewi nkedatmeandi
blushedbeforeSengwayodidthesamewit
hhim.Hemi xedthewaterwi
thourbl
oodandt
hen
madeusdr inkfrom it
.Thekingcamefort
handhetookoffhi
scrownandhandeditt
oMenzi
andbowedr ightafter
.

Ki
ng:
"Qwabe,
Gumede

Phakat
hwayo,mnguni kayeye.Ihopet hi
skingdom willberunthesamesuccessf
ulwayt
he
Qwabeclanhasbeenforov era100y ears.Iam proudtosaywelldoneandkeepati
taski
ng
andQeenhearyourpeoplespleas.I
tsnoty ourkingdom al
onebutthepeopl
e'
saswell"

Hebowedandpeopl
echeer
edandt
heyal
lbecamesi
l
entandbowed.

Sengway
o:"Thescept
re"

Twopeopl ecamewiththescept
res.TheybowedinfrontofusanditookmineandMenzi di
d
andheraisedhisandrai
sedit.I
tglowedabitbutnotbri
ghtenoughandthepeoplecheer
ed.
Thenirai
sedmi neanditgl
owedsobr i
ghtandpeoplewerecheeri
ngbutitwasli
keitwasbeing
pul
led.

Me:
"Whati
shappeni
ng?
"

Sengway
o:"Thechosenone"

I
tglowedbri
ghtl
i
keshutt
ingmyeyesandt
heni
tpul
l
edof
fmyhandsandf
lewacr
osst
her
oom
andpeopl
ewereducki
nganddi
ving.

Lady:
"Lookout!
"

Thecommot ionst
oppedanditst
art
edtothunderterr
ibl
yandthenitr
ained.Ther
ewasa
scream andMenzi
rushedof
f.Iopenedmyey esandi l
ookedupanditwasLandiswa.The
sceptr
ewasinherhandsandshewasscreami ng.Hereyeswereshut.

Sengway
o:"mov
eawayf
rom her"

Li
tt
legi
rl:
"laah"

shewascr
ying.Iwasangr
y,Whati
sshedoi
ngwi
thmyt
hing.

*LANDI
SWA*

124
Amandawastheonewhot ri
edt opushmeoutt hewaywhentheScept
recamemywaybuti
t
l
andedinmyhandsanditstart
edtothunder,i
feltmyheartl
i
keitwasst
oppi
ngf
oramoment
andisawbl
ood.Bloodall
ov ermeandi scr
eamedpeopl ewerear
oundme

Muzi
:"Lum l
um "

Heal
er:
"Mov
ebackf
rom her"

Theymovedbackandthest
orm subsi
dedandi
twassunnyagai
nandi
fel
tbet
ter
.Idr
oppedt
he
scept
rebuti
twassti
ll
glowi
ng.

Queen:
"isshet
hechosenQueen?
"

Heal
er:
"Nobutshei
sdest
inedt
odogr
eatt
hingsi
nthi
ski
ngdom ,
takehert
orest"

Muzi
pickedmeupandwewal
kedout
.Myey
eswer
ebur
ning.

Muzi
:"ar
eyouok?"

Me:
"yesi
wil
lbe"

Muzi
:"y
ouwi
l
lrestt
heni
wil
lwakey
ouup"

inoddedandhewentupt hest
air
sandlai
dmei naroom withguardsoutsi
de.Ext
reme.Whati
sawwasdi st
urbi
ng.Acryandpeopl
ecryi
ngwaswhati heard.Loudbangsandthathasnev
er
happenedtome.Irest
edmyheadwhi l
ethesev
oicesofscreamingechoed.

*
MUZI
*

Wear eatthedi
nnertableandiam wor
ri
edaboutLandi
swa.Forhour
sshehasbeenasleepand
iam worr
iedaboutthat.Sengway
osaysshei
sseeingsomethi
ngsthati
swhysheisrestl
ess.I
wonderwhattheyare.

Mom :
"don'
twor
ryshewi
l
lbeok"

Dad:
"shehasi
nher
it
edt
heseerpower
sfr
om t
hescept
re.Li
kemymot
her"

Mbal
i:
"Shei
snotQueen.Iam "

125
Herf
ather:
"Mbal
i!
"

Dad:
"wat
chy
ourchi
l
dCel
e"

whendadwar
ns.Takehi
swar
ningsser
iousl
y.Myphoner
angandev
ery
onel
ookedatme.

Me:
"excuseme"

Ist
oodupandwal
kedaway

Me:
"tal
k"

St
icks:
"gr
oot
manwear
eonourwayt
her
e.Wari
saboutt
ost
ri
ket
oday"

Icoul
dhearhi
m br
eat
hingheav
il
yli
kehewasr
unni
ng.

Me:
"whyam i
inf
ormednow?"

St
icks:
"wewer
ebei
ngGhost
ed.Thecer
emonyshoul
dend"

Me:
"ithasended,
shi
tcomef
ast"

iheardgunshot
sandthel
inewascutout
.Shi
tlandi
swa.Ir
ani
nsi
deandt
heguar
dswer
e
every
whereprot
ect
ingt
hoseinsi
de.

Mom :
"NomaandNt
ombi
wentt
othegar
den"

Shi
t!

Ir
ushedoutandtookoffmybl
azerandgunf
rom mywai
standr
ant
hatsi
deandt
heygot
st
rongerandst
ronger
.

Me:
"Noma,
Ntombi
!!"

"Muzi
!"

Ir
ant
owher
ethev
oicewascomi
ngf
rom andi
twasNoma.

Me:
"wher
ear
etheguar
ds?
"

Noma:
"theywentt
otheboundar
iesoft
hepal
ace"

Me:
"okwai
twher
eisNt
ombi
?"

Noma:
"idontknowev
ery
thi
ngwasf
ast"

Me:
"Shi
tNoma!
!"

Ishout
edather

126
Me:
"St
ayher
eiwi
l
lbeback"

Shenoddedandi
rushedbyt
hegar
denandshotev
ery
oneonmywayt
hisi
smessedup.

Me:
"Pumpki
n!Nt
ombi
!"

Nt
ombi
:"Daddy!
"

Ir
ant
oherandscoopedher

Me:
"Fucki
am gl
ady
ouar
eok.Let
sgot
osaf
ety"

Iputherov
ermyshoul
derandr
ushedof
f

Nt
ombi
:"Daddybear"

Me:
"it
sgonnabeokPumpki
n"

Nt
ombi
:"Il
ovey
oudaddy"

Me:
"il
ovey
out
oo"

Nt
ombi
:"i
thur
ts"

Igott
oNomaandwer
ani
nsi
deandgoti
n.

Mom :
"ohmygod.Thankgody
ouar
eok"

shehuggedNoma

Noma:
"Muzi
yourshi
rt"

i
putNt
ombi
down.

Me:
"Pumpki
nar
eyouok?"

Nt
ombi
:"i
thur
tsher
e"

Me:
"showi
ttoDaddy"

Shesmi
l
edwhi
l
ebl
oodcomeoutofhernose.

Mom :
"Nt
ombi
whati
swr
ong?
"

Nt
ombi
:"myhear
tissor
e"

Me:
"showi
ttomePumpki
n"

Herdr
esswasget
ti
ngbl
oodandi
remov
edherhandsf
rom herchestandshehasbeenshoton
t
helef
tsi
de

127
Mom :
"ohmygod"

sheexcl
aimed.

IscoppedNt
ombi
up

Noma:
"weshoul
dcal
lanambul
ance"

Sengway
o:"shewon'
tmakei
tback"

Me:
"Fuckal
lyouandj
ustshutup"

ir
ushedoutandaskedt
hegaurdt
odr
iveust
othehospi
tal
.Thecarwasbul
l
etpr
oofandt
her
e
werebodi
eslay
ingonourwayout

Me:
"St
aywi
thmePumpki
n.GogoandLaahneedy
ou"

shecoughed.

Me:
"don'
tcl
osey
ourey
eswear
eal
mostt
her
e."

Wegott
othehospi
tal
andi
flewoutoft
hecarwi
thhershout
ingf
orhel
p.

Me:
"Don'
tjustst
andt
her
eandt
akehert
otheat
reorwhat
ever"

Theycamewit
hastret
cherandputheronitandshehasclosedherey
es.Theywheeledher
away.Fort
hefi
rstt
imeiprayedt
hatsheisok.Isawt heDrwhotookherawayappearandi
st
oodup.

Me:
"Howi
sshe?
tel
lmeshei
sok"

Dr:
"(si
gh)i
am sor
ry.Wet
ri
edal
lwecoul
dbutshei
snomor
e"

Ichuckl
ed

Me:
"Youar
ejoki
ngr
ight?"

Icoul
dfeel
myhear
tcl
enchandal
umpcampi
ngi
nmyt
hroat
.

Dr:
"unf
ort
unat
elyno.Iam sor
ry.Youcancal
lot
hermember
stobeher
efory
ou"

Ii
gnor
edherastear
sstr
eameddownmyf ace.Thi
sisal
lmyf
aul
t.Ist
art
edki
cki
ngand
br
eaki
ngever
ythi
ngandtheycal
l
edsecur
it
y.

Me:
"anyofy
out
ouchmei
wil
lfucky
ouup!
!"

Secur
it
y:"y
ouhav
etol
eav
esi
r"

Me:
"iam notl
eav
ingwi
thoutmyPumpki
n.Iam notl
eav
ingwi
thoutmydaught
er!
!"
.

128
Ibr
okedown.Thi
shur
ts.Andi
tsal
lmyf
aul
t.I
fi.
..
..
if.
..
..
.

iwal
kedoutandtol
dt hesecur
it
ytost
aywhi
leigoonmyown.Ineededal
onet
ime.Iwantt
obe
al
one.Whatam i
gonnasayt ohergr
andmot
her,Ipr
omi
sedt
oprotectt
hem.Whatam i
gonna
sayt
oLandiswa..
..
..
.

I
NSERTEI
GHT-
TEEN

*
LANDI
SWA*

Myhear twasbeati
ngfastl
ikeitwasgonnacomeoutofmymouthandj
ustjumpof f
.Itf
elt
pai
nfulandmybodywasheat i
ngandiopenedmyeyesandsatupbr
eat
hingheavi
lywhil
etr
ying
tocatchmybreath.Itwasn'
tthateasyanditwasl
i
kesomeonewasstr
anglingmeandmade
met ast
edeathforasecond.ThedooropenedandtheQueencameinr
ushing.

Queen:
"goody
ouar
eawake,
weneedt
ogo"

Me:
"Myhear
twasbeat
ingf
ast"

Sheseemedunset
tl
edandwasr
ushi
ngar
oundandt
ookshoesf
orme.

Queen:
"mi
naGqoka(
takeandwear)

It
ookthesl
i
ppersandshegrabbedmyhandaswewal kedout
.Itwasamessythi
ng.The
Guardswer
ebeingaddr
essedbyMenzi
buti don'
tknowwhatt heywer
etal
kingabout
.
Sengway
owaslooki
ngatmeandaswer eachedthelastfl
oorhesai
d.

Sengwayo:"Qi
na,Thandaza.Amadl
oziay
akwazi
akwenzay
o.Phephi
sa(Best
rongandpr
ay,
theancest
orsknowwhatt heyar
edoi
ng)"

Il
ookedathim conf
usedandhewal
kedawayt
owher
etheKi
ng(Theol
done)Woul
d
di
sappeart
o.

129
Queen:
"Canoneofy
out
akeust
owher
eMuzi
went,
hehasbeengonef
orhour
s"

Me:
"whati
sgoi
ngon?Ihear
dscr
eami
ngandbangsi
nmydr
eam."

Isatdown.I
twasonl
yusandt
heguar
dsandMenzi
.

Menzi
:"I
tsoknow.Someonewant
edt
oat
tackus"

Me:
"at
tacky
ou,
wher
eisev
ery
one?Ar
etheyok?
"

Iwasspeaki
ngf
ast

Menzi
:"Theyar
e"

Ibreathedoutandtheguar dwasreadyt oleav

ewithus.Wewal kedtothedoorandgotoutand
aswer eabouttoenterthecar,sever
al carsdr
oveinthepalaceyardandparkednextt
oeach
otherandarmedguy sgotout .Theydidn'tl
ookli
keroyalguardsthenaRoyalcarcameandthe
Queenr antoit
.Muzi gotoutandoneoft heguysfr
om thearmedgr oupfi
stbumpedwithhim
andt heyhel
deachot her.

Guy:
"itwi
l
lbeok.Weher
efory
ougr
oot
man"

Queen:
"oht
hankgody
ouar
eok"

Hedi
dn'
tseem l
i
kehi
susual
sel
f.Ir
ant
ohi
m.

Me:
"ihear
daboutt
heshoot
ingi
am gl
ady
ouar
eok"

Wehuggedandhej
ustbr
okedown.Thatr
ippedmyhear
ttoseehi
mli
ket
hat.

Me:
"it
sok"

Muzi
:"i
fai
l
edy
ou.Iam sor
ry.Iam sor
ryi
fai
l
edy
oubot
h"

Me:
"wear
eok,
ever
yonei
ssaf
e"

Muzi
:"i
am sor
ryl
um l
um.Iam sor
ryi
didn'
tpr
otecther"

Me:
"Muzi
whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout?
"

Queen:
"Ohkodwaj
esudon'
ttel
lme.
..
..
"

Shejustwai
led.Iwasscar
edastowhyshewasactingthatway
.Myhear
tbeatt
oof
ast
.The
Kingandevery
oneelsecamer
ushingoutandhehel
dhiswife

Ki
ng:
"whati
sgoi
ngon?
"

Noma:
"isNt
ombi
ok?"

130
Yeahwher
eisNt
ombi
,Ihav
en'
tseenher

Me:
"Muzi
wher
eisNt
ombi
?"

Muzi
:"shegotshotandshedi
edatt
hehospi
tal
.Iam sor
ryLum l
um "

hehuggedmeandt
her
ewassi
l
ence.Il
aughed.

Me:
"Ist
hisapr
anky
'al
lpl
ay.Wher
eisNt
ombi
?"

i
gotof
fhi
sgr
ipandwentt
othecarandt
her
ewasnooneandi
tur
nedt
ohi
m.

Me:
"st
oppl
ayi
ngt
hisgameMuzi
,Nt
ombi
it'
snotf
unny"

Icoul
dfeel
mysel
floosi
ngmybr
eat
h.Not
hisi
snott
rue.

Me:
"Menzi
pleaset
ell
meshewasnotshotorshei
satt
hehospi
tal
"

i
wal
kedcl
oset
ohi
m.

Menzi
:"i
am sor
ryLaah"

It
urned.Myheadwasspi
nni
ngandt
ear
sbur
nedmyey
esasmysoul
lef
tmybody
.

Me:
"NONOSHECAN'
TBEDEAD.SHECAN'
T BEMUZIPLEASEWAKEHERUP!
!"

Muzi
:"i
am sor
ryLum l
um "

Iwasl
oosi
ngmybr
eat
handi
coul
dfeel
mysel
fget
ti
ngdi
zzy
.Icoul
dhearf
aintVoi
ces.

Me:
"Amanda,
Ntombi
,Gogo"

Amanda:
"Landi
swa"

If
aint
edandi
twasl
i
ght
sout
.

*
KINGQWABE*

Iwi
l
lnotgoi
ntoalotofint
roduct
ionsbutmynamei
sBheki
sizweQwabet
he3rd.Peoplewil
lcal
l
meanemoti
onlessperson.Iwascursedwheni
wasayoungchil
dbyawi
tcht
hati wouldbe

131
heart
lessandnoonewi l
l l
ov emeev er.Justli
kebeaut yandt hebeastbuti wasn'tturnedt oa
beastbutact edli
keone.Theni metmywi fe.Boydi diputhert hr
oughsomucht hatsheshoul d
haveleftmebutshest ayedandi l
ovedherandst i
ll
dowi ththisveryhear t
.Shebr okethecur se
i
fi maysaybuti stil
lhav emyol dtrait
s.Iwantnot hi
ngt ohappent oherandwhenshecr iesit
j
ustbreaksmyhear t.Justlikenowasshei scryi
ngi nmyar msast heMor t
uarypeopl ecamet o
thehospitaltocollectlit
tl
eNt ombi '
sbodyandwewi ll
leavef orPretori
a.Mysonhasnev er
l
ookedshat t
eredinhi swhol el i
fe.Het r
uelylovedthischil
dlikehisownbuthei stryi
ngt obe
str
ongf orthisgir
l.Shehasbeeni nandoutoft hehospi t
al.Trustmei nadayshewasi nandout
l
ikeshewashav ingar unningst omachgoi ngtot hetoil
et.Herpani cattackswer egetti
ngt oher
andsuf f
eringdepressi onwasav erypossiblechance.

Sengwayo:"Si
zakuwemnt anaomncane.Sizeleukuzot
hathawenasihambesikuyi
seekhaya
endaweniy
akhoy okuthul
a, I
baidl
ozieli
hlephezukomntaweni.(Wecomef ort
htoyoumychi l
d.
Weareheretotakey ouhomei nyourlastpl
aceofpeace,beagr eatancest
oruponyoursi
ster)
Dlamini
,Si
balukhul
u, Mdlovu,MagaduzelaMagagakaNsel e

Wenaowashi
saumunt
ungesi
khuniesi
bunj
i
niKwazekwasa.(
Clannames)HambaNat
hike
Sanal
wet
hu(Comewithusmychil
d)."

hewal
kedoutwi
tht
hel
eaf

Nokukhany
a:"I
thur
tsBheki
"

Ir
ubbedherback

Me:
"Phephi
saMkami
itwi
l
lbeok"

Wewalkedoutoftbehospit
alandwai
tedf
orMuziashewasgoi
bgt
ofetchLandi
swa.They
cameoutandshedidn'
tlookok.Shel
ookedl
iket
heworl
dwasonhershoul
dersandshewas
l
ikeawalki
ngcorpse

Khany
a:"Ohgodwhati
syourwi
l
l?"

Theyhuggedandbr
okedown.
wet
ri
ed.t
ocal
mthem downandt
henweembar
kedonour
j
ourney.

*
MUZI*

I
sthi
showi
tfeel
stol
oosesomeoney
oul
ove?Iknowt
hati
hav
eknownNt
ombi
forashor
t

132
amountofti
mebutshehasbecameadaught ert
ome.Idon' tknowhowi feel,
ifeel
Numbbuti
can'
ti
maginethepai
nLandiswaandhergr andmotherar
egoi ngthroughatthemoment.She
didcr
ywhenwecameandi nformedherandnowthecommuni tyisherefl
oodedandkidsfrom
herol
dschoolcamealsowiththei
rparents.
it
sveryshat
tter
ing.Iam worri
edaboutLandiswa
andhowsheissoshatter
ed.Itsal
lmyf aul
t.

Chi
l
dren:
"ndi
khokhel
ebawo

Zundi
khokhel
e

Ndi
khokhel
emel
iwami

Ezi
nsi
zi
ni

Zal
omhl
ababawo

Bawo,
Bawo,
Bawo

Bawondi
yabongangoba

Usandi
gci
nil
e"

Ther
ewer
ecr
iesher
eandt
her
eandMom wassi
tt
ingnextt
oLandi
swa.Thi
swaspai
nful

Noma:
"(whi
sper
ingt
ome)
AmandaandIneedt
obuyt
hebev
eragesf
orpeopl
ewhowi
l
lcome.
"

Me:
"or
gani
seev
ery
thi
ngbecausei
don'
tthi
nkt
heyar
einagoodst
atet
odoso"

Shenodded.

Noma:
"ok"

Igav
ehermycar
dandshewal
kedout
.

Woman:"(tear
y)Ngi
buhl
ungungokuzwai
ndabaezi
nje(i
am i
ngr
eatpai
nofhear
ingthese
news)Ntombiwasanamazi
ngchil
dandtheper
sonwhowoulddosuchtoherwi
l
l getwhathe
want
s"

Shesatdownast
heot
her
snodded.Ther
ewasabi
gcommot
ionout
sideandshout
ing.

"Uphi
umahnal
ent
oyakhoThembeka(wher
eismymot
herandy
ourt
hingThembeka)!
!!
"

Thr
eewomenandamanwal
kedi
nwhi
l
emaki
ngnoi
se

MaDl
ams:
"Nokzol
a"

Nokzol
a:"Yout
ookmychi
l
dtheny
ouki
l
lher"

133
MaDl
ams:
"wedi
dn'
tki
l
lher"

sheseemedabitdrunkandshecri
edandt
hrewabot t
leatLandi
swa'
sdi
rect
ionbutsheducked
iwasinf
rontoft
hiswomaninaflashandi
heldherneck.

Me:
"Wedon'
tmi
ndhav
ingt
wof
uner
alst
hisweekend"

I
NSERTNI
NE-
TEEN

*LANDI
SWA*

Ifel
tli
keiwasnotther
eli
ketheworl
djustcamet oastop.Icanhearandseet hearguments
andbefor
eiknowitabott
lei
sthr
ownmydi r
ecti
onandi duckandMuzi ischockingaunty
Nokzol
a(Ntombi'
smom.)mysi steri
slookingaroundandlooksdisgustedbytheolace.I

134
guesst
hati
sherhusbandnextt
oherandMom char
gest
owar
dsme.

Mom :
"Youwer
esupposedt
odi
easwel
l"

Tear
slef
tmyey
es.

Ki
ng:
"getoutbef
oret
hingsgetugl
y."

Mom :
"Whodoy
out
hinky
ouar
e?"

Shel
ookedathi
m upanddown.

Gogo:"(st
andingup)The4ofy ououtotmyhouse.Youtwol
efty
ourki
dsandnowyoucome
andcausehavoc?SishonelwelahumntwanaUNtombi(wehavel
ostNt
ombi)andal
lyoudo
ustr
owbottlesatmygranddaughter
."

Mom :
"Ishoul
dhav
eabor
tedy
ouusel
esst
hing"

Zanel
e:"Idon'
tknowwhyy
oukepther?
"

Tear
srandownasMuzi l
eftAunt
yNokzolaandsl
appedZanel
e.Ev
ery
onegasped.Hel
ookedso
angr
yandherhusbandst
oodinfr
ontofher

Qhawe:
"Don'
tdot
hatwi
thmywi
fey
oudon'
twannacr
ossme"

Muzi
:"Iwi
l
lfucky
ouup,
Keeponv
omi
ti
ngshi
t!"

Hewasshaki
ngi
nanger

Ki
ng:
"Muzi
kay
iseHay
i"

Hewal
kedout

Ki
ng:
"leav
e"

Nokzol
a:"Thi
sismychi
l
d"

Gogo:
"Ey
iVoest
ekout!"

Shewasangr
y

Mom :
"Wear
ecomi
ngback"

Zanel
e:"Wenai
wil
lgett
hatt
hing"

Shewal
kedout
.TheQueenhuggedme.

Queen:
"comel
etsgot
othebedr
oom "

West
oodupandshehel
dmewhi
l
ewewal
kedt
her
eandi
justbr
okedown.Theonl
yper
son

135
whobr
oughtsomuchhappi
nesswasgone.Myhear
thur
tli
keadaggerwasi
nst
all
edi
nit
.

Queen:
"ti
meheal
s"

Idontneedt
ime.IneedNt
ombi
.

Shehushedmeandt
heKi
ngaskedf
orher
.

Queen:
"Iwi
l
lbeback"

Shewalkedoutandi
wenttotaket
hephot
oal
bum andi
lookedatherbabypi
ctur
eandi
just
hel
ditandcri
edmylungsout
.

Me:
"Whydi
dyoul
eav
emeNt
ombi
?"

Asharpsobescapesmyl i
ps.Af ewminutesintocr
yingandmyheadispounding.Myey
eshurt
astheyar
epuf f
yandikeeponsni f
fi
ng.Thedooropensandi smel
lamanlyperfumemixed
wit
hNicoti
ne.Ifel
tthebedMov ewhichitwentlowerbutt
imetobeembarr
assedwasn'tther
e.
Idi
dntcarewhathappensatthemoment .Hekissesmycheekandtur
nsmear oundandhugs
meandi breakdownonhischest.

Me:
"Whyme?Whyher,
whydi
dn'
tidi
einherpl
ace,
"

Asobecapesmyl
i
psandhei
ssi
l
entbuthushi
ngme.

Muzi
:"(l
umpy)i
am sor
ryl
um l
um "

Me:
"Pl
easehol
dme"

Hehol
dsmet
ight
lyandi
feel
myhear
teasi
ngupt
hepai
nbuti
tsst
il
lther
e.

Muzi
:"i
lov
eyou."

Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"

Heper
kedmyf
oreheadandt
ookt
hephot
oal
bum andl
ookedati
tandpagedt
hroughi
t.

Muzi
:"Whoi
sthi
scut
echi
l
d?"

Me:
"Nt
ombi
,shewas2y
ear
sthatt
imewhensheusedt
ovi
sit"

Hesmi
l
ed

Muzi
:"shei
sawonder
ful
chi
l
dinsi
deandout"

Il
ookedathi
m ashesmi
l
ed

Me:
"Shewas.
..
."

136
Muzi
:"shewi
l
lal
way
sli
vei
nmyhear
t"

At
eardr
oppedf
rom hi
sey
ebuthewi
pedi
tvi
gor
ousl
yandpagedt
hrough.

Muzi
:"andt
hisaf
rof
reak"

Ipushedhi
m.

Me:
"Heyt
hati
sme"

Hepul
l
smybr
aids

Muzi
:"y
ouhav
elonghai
r"

Hecl
osesi
tandput
sitdownandpul
l
smet
ohi
m.

Muzi
:"i
am her
efory
ou.Wear
eint
hist
oget
her"

Heki
ssedmycheek.

Muzi
:"Al
lmyy
est
erday
s

Al
lsobl
ue

Theyspendwai
ti
ng,
wai
ti
ngt
ofi
ndy
ou

Nowt
hoseaty
est
erday
s

They
'r
esof
arbehi
nd

Anot
herl
i
fet
ime

Si
gny
ournameonmyf
utur
e

Wr
it
eyournamei
nmyhear
t

You'
ret
heonet
hati
needi
nmyl
i
feandmyar
ms.
..
..
.

[
Chor
us]

Toget
her:
"Al
lmyt
omor
rows,
they
'r
eal
lfory
ou

Al
lofmyal
way
s

Foral
lmywhol
eli
fet
hrough

May,
causey
ou'
ret
heonei
want

i
wantt
ogi
vet
omor
rowt
o.

137
You'
l
lal
way
shav
e

Al
lmyt
omor
rows.
..
..

Muzi
:"t
hey
'r
eal
lfory
oubabe

Al
lyourev
ery
day
s,I
'
llbet
her
e

y
ou'
l
lhav
enodoubt

Howmucht
hati
car
e(car
e)

Ther
ewi
l
lnev
erbeaday

wher
eil
eav
eyoursi
de.

Noi
nthi
sli
fet
ime.

Wr
it
eyournameonmyf
utur
e

Si
gny
ournameonmysoul

You'
ret
heonet
hati
wil
lhol
d

Foral
lti
me

AndI
'
m nev
er

Nev
erl
ett
ingy
ougo

Nobabycauseal
l.
..
..
"

Tear
sst
reameddownmyey
esandmyhear
tbl
ed

Me:
"Pl
easest
op"

Muzi
:"i
am sor
ry"

Ihel
donhim.IwantNt ombi att
hemoment .Justtoseehersmi leanddimplesi
nplace.She
wassuchahappyandl ov
ingchil
dandoursituati
onnev eraff
ectedherbutshemadet hemost
ofit
.Iwil
lmisswakingupandseeingherfacesitt
ingont herockytabl
eeati
ngporri
dgeandher
boil
i
ngwaterforme.Iwill
mi sshersomuchandi can'tacceptthatsheisgone.Thi
si sl
i
ke
somebigdream t
hatiam readytowakeupf r
om ..
...
.

138
.

I
NSERTTWENTY

*MENZI*

Mom :
"Howi
stheki
ngdom goi
ng?
"

Me:
"It
sgoi
ngok.I
tst
akesal
otofef
for
tbuti
am get
ti
ngt
hehangofi
t."

Icoul
dheart
hest
rai
ninherv
oice.

Mom :
"(si
gh)If
eel
hor
ri
ble"

Me:
"Howi
sLandi
swa?
"

Myheartst
il
lbeat
sfastwhenmyey
essetonherort
hinkofher
.Don'
tgetmewr
ong.Il
ove
Mbal
iandLandiswaaswell
.

Mom :
"Shehasbeenl
ockedupi
nthebedr
oom si
ncey
est
erdayaf
terhermot
herandNt
ombi
's
mot
hercame.I
twasamess"

Me:
"Iwi
shi
wast
her
e"

Mom :
"met
oo.Idon'
tknowwher
eMuzi
isev
en,
thi
sboyMar
a"

Whenhedi
sappear
sit
sbad.

Me:
"iwi
l
ltr
ytr
acki
nghi
m"

Mom :
"Isy
ourauntst
il
lther
e?"

Il
augh.Iknowt
heyhat
eeachot
her
.

Me:
"yesshei
sst
il
lher
e"

Shecl
i
ckshert
ongue

Mom :
"Ay
iletmegoandhel
p.Takecar
e"

Me:
"Yout
oo"

139
Ihungupast
heguar
dwal
kedi
n.

Guar
d:"Thecounci
lhav
ear
ri
vedy
ourmaj
est
y"

Me:
"Okt
hanky
ou"

Hewalkedoutandisi
ghed.Il
ookatmyphoneandCalll
andiswaanditr
angtheni
twentt o
voi
cemail
.Iwishiwast
heretoholdherandcomfor
ther
.Lethertear
swetmychest.Isnapped
outofmythought
swhent heguar
dBowedbef or
emeandev enbefor
ehetal
kedisaid

Me:
"Let
sleav
e"

Wewal
kedout.

*
AMANDA*

Mybestfri
end.Ihavenev
erseenhersobr okenbefore.Shehaslostwei
ghtandhergl
owisgone.
Shelooksli
keaZombi eanditsnotsi
tt
ingwellwit
hmei nsi
de.Wemanagedt oopenthedoor
wit
hMandl a'shel
pandi hav
en'tseenMuzi si
ncey ester
dayaft
erhelef
twhenshewasasleep.

Noma:
"Ohsi
si"

Welaideithersideofher.Mybestf riend.Mysi ster,shehasshar edherf ai

rshar eoftoughness.
Whoam i ki
ddi
ngshehasbeent hr
oughal otinli
feev ersi ncetheti
mewemeti nhighschool.I
comef rom av eryadvantagedf amilythanher, irememberhowmeani wast hatdaywemet .
Wasatt hemal lwithmyf ri
endsandaf teriwalkedt ot hecatchthetaxisincemybr otherwasn't
gonnafetchmeandi washol di
ngawat erbottl
eandwebumpedi ntoeachot her.Itol
dhershit
andshout edathowst upidcanshebebutshet oldmebackandi twast hefir
sttimei wasback
chat
tedlikethat.Wel ef
tlikethatandmetonceagai n.Shewast hegirlmybr othertookinter
est
i
n.Imeanshehast hebodyandt helooksbutshewasn' tint
erest
edbutwebecamef r
iends.
Ourfr
iendshipgr ewalotfrom thosey ears.Mybr otheri sMar r
iednowandov erseas.

Noma:
"(si
ngi
ng)
Umkhul
eko,
unamandl
a

Umasi
Khul
ekangokukhol
wa.

Uj
esuuy
alal
elaaphedul
umkhul
eko

Let
hakonkekuj
esungomkhul
eko"

Me:
"Ngomkhul
eko"

140
Noma:
"(br
ushi
ngher
)Pr
ayerwi
l
lhel
pyoudeal
wit
hthepai
n."

Landi
swawasqui
et.Wesati
nsi
l
encet
il
ltear
slef
therr
edpuf
fyey
es.

Landi
swa:
"(Sof
tl
yandscr
atchy)Phol
i
saamanxebankosi
(heal
mywoundsl
ord)"

Ibr
okei
ntoacry.I
tsver
yhear
tbreaki
ngtoseemysisterl
i
kethi
s.Shehasbecameasi
stert
o
meandweallhuggedeachot
herandjustcr
ied.West
ayedli
ket
hatti
l
lwedozedoff
.

*
MUZI*

Me:
"Wher
eishe?"

Space:
"Ukhonal
ahBozza.Kodwangi
cabangaukut
hiuli
ndekupheleumngcwabowengcosi
(heisi
nther
ebossbutit
hinkt
haty
oushouldwaitt
il
lthefuner
alofthechi
l
disdone)
"

Ipi
nnedhi
m ont
hewal
landpoi
ntedt
hegunonhi
sfor
ehead.

Me:
"Doi
payy
out
othi
nk?
"

Space:"Hadebozza.Bengi
ngaqondangaukukwat
isa(Sor
ryboss.Idi
dntmeant
omakey
ou
angry"

Me:
"Keepont
hinki
ngandy
ouwi
l
lfi
ndy
ourbodywi
thbul
l
ets.Opent
hedoor"

iletgoofhi
m andheopenedthedoorandiwal
kedi
nandshothi
skneejusttowakehi
m upand
hescreamedinagonyandthatwasmusict
omyears.It
ookoffmyjacketandputi
tonthe
tablei
nfr
ontofme.

Me:
"Cal
lst
icks"

Spacewal
kedout

Hi
m:"Whatam i
doi
ngher
e?"

Me:
"Yaziuzof
elakonaukukhul
umaamasi
mbaowakhul
umay
o(y
ouar
egonnadi
ebecauseof
t
her
ubbishyouaretal
ki
ng)"

Hi
m:"(shaki
ng&gr
oani
ng)LaKr
uss"

Ismi
l
edanev
iloneandSt
ickscamei
n

141
Me:
"it
'shi
m ?"

St
icks:
"heknowst
hemast
ermi
nd"

i
clappedmyhands

Me:
"Ri
ghtboy,
bri
ngt
hekni
ves."

Hi
m:"Pl
easef
orgi
veme"

Hesai
dshaki
ng

Me:
"buti
hav
en'
tst
art
edt
hef
uny
et"

Hi
m:"oki
wil
ltel
lyou,
itsMongezi
"

Ist
oppedandt
urnedt
ohi
m .Ishothi
sshoul
der

Me:
"Fucki
thoughthel
eftt
hecount
ry!
!"

Hi
m:"(gr
oan)hecameback,
Hewant
stheKi
ngshi
p"

Ifel
tdefeatl
ess.Thisrequiresalotofat
tentionandabi gwart
hatwillbr
ew.Mongezi i
smy
cousin.Ourcousin,Hisfatherandmyf atherarebrot
hers.Hi
sfatheri
stheyoungestanddidn'
t
seem inter
estedinbeingkingofKhany i
sabutt hisMosquit
othatisourcousi
nisdetermi
ned.
Thisisnotthefirstt
imebutwesur vi
vedev enthoughitwasatoughoneandhewor kswi
ththe
Columbianssoi tgetstougher.

Me:
"Tr
eathi
m,Ineedt
othi
nk"

Iwal
kedout
.Ineedt
omakeacal
l.Idi
d.

Nkonzo:
"Nt
wanal
ongt
ime"

Me:
"Iam gonnaki
l
lMongezi
andt
hist
imei
wanthi
shead"

Nkonzo:
"Whathashedonet
hist
ime?
"

Me:
"(chuckl
e)i
seehewant
smet
oshow hi
m myl
uci
fersi
de"

Nkonzo:
"youknowi
am cur
iousandcan'
tst
andsuspi
cion"

Iwasoutoft
hewar
ehouseandgoti
nmycar
.

Me:
"(br
eaki
ng)Heki
l
ledmydaught
erdammi
t!Heki
l
ledher,
Itsmyf
aul
t"

Fuckt
hishur
ts.Thel
umpcampedi
nmyt
hroatast
ear
swentdownmyey
es.Ther
ewassi
l
ence.

Nkonzo:
"wewi
l
lhav
ehi
shead.Iwi
l
lbet
her
etomor
row mor
ning.Iwi
l
lfl
ydown"

142
Me:
"ishoul
dn'
thav
ecal
l
edy
ou.Youar
einPor
tugal
."

Nkonzo:"heyi
goty
ourbackal
waysman.Eveni
fiam i
nspacewheny
ouneedmewi
l
lbet
her
e
i
naf l
ash.Youmybrot
hernomatt
erwhat"

Me:
"(wi
pingmyt
ear
s)Thanky
ouman."

Nkonzo:
"it
swhatbr
other
sar
efor
.Don'
twor
ryy
ounotal
oneandasf
ory
ourdaught
eri
twi
l
l
heal
.Timedoes"

Me:
"Thanks.Ihav
etogo.Il
eftmyl
adyal
onewhensheneedsme"

Nkonzo:"Iwi
l
lfuckyouup.Youhav
etost
opt
hisdi
sappear
ingshi
tofy
our
sman,
forsur
eshe
f
eelsli
keyoudon'tl
oveher"

Hei
sri
ght

Me:
"ei
shi
needt
ofi
xthi
smess.Iwi
l
lcal
ll
ater"

Nkonzo:
"Fi
xit
.Iwi
l
lbet
her
eint
hemor
ning"

Wehungupandi f
eltabitbett
er.Idroveofft
omyhousef i
rstj
ustt
otakeashowerbecausei
wasst
il
li
ny est
erday'scl
othes.Igoti nandwenttotakeashowerandthenidrankpai
nki
ll
ers.
Af
tert
hatigotdressedinblacktracksui
tsandsneaker
sandabeanieandicall
edmyPa.

Nomonde:
"MrQwabe"

Me:
"putMal
col
minchar
geoft
hecompanyhewi
l
lber
unni
ngi
tfort
henextmont
h"

Nomonde:
"yessi
r."

sheknowsnott
oquesti
onmydecisi
ons.Ihangupandi
tookmyphoneandiwalkedoutand
goti
nmycaranddroveoff.Myphoner
angwhil
eiwasdr
ivi
ng.Whomayitbenow?I
answered.

Me:
"Tal
k"

Noma:
"Fi
nal
l
yandi
am noty
ourf
ri
end"

Me:
"Don'
tpi
ssmeof
f.Tal
k"

shewaspi
ssi
ngmeof
fbyt
hesecond

Noma:
"Checkoutt
heI
nter
net
."

Shehungupandi t
ookmyphonewhi l
eal
sofocusingontheroadandiwenttonews24and
ourf
acesastheroyal
fami
lypoppedupthenicl
ickedther
easheadli
nesaid"
CORI NATI
ONOF
DEATH"icl
i
ckedonitandi
tshowedapict
ureofNtombi t
hedayofthecor
inat
ionlaughi
ngand

143
t
alkedabouthermur
derandt
henaphot
oofmeandLadi
swaandNt
ombi
whenwewer
e
walki
ngint
oMcDonald'
s.

Me:
"Shi
t!"

Ithr
ewmyphoneonthecarseat andsteppedontheaccel
erat
ortil
ligott
oLandi
swa'
s
houseandi
gotoutofcarandwal
kedtowardsthehouseasiheardcommoti
on.

MaDl
ams:
"Nokzol
aGetoutofmyhouse,
younev
ercar
edaboutNt
ombi
!!"

Thembeka:
"Mamat
hat
sherdaught
er"

MaDlams:"Justl
i
kehowLandi
swai
syourdaught
ery
eti
ntooy
azi
yoi
stosl
eepwi
thy
our
daught
er'
shusbandsi
es"

Ther
ewassi
l
ence.Mom r
ushedt
ome

Mom :
"Ohy
ouar
eok"

Shehuggedmeandt
hiswomangav
emeal
ook.

MaDlams:"Idon'
twantyouev
erent
eri
ngmyhouseagai
n.Iwanty
ououtanddon'
tcomet
o
t
hefuner
aloryouwil
lknowme!Getoutyout
wo!
!

Nokzol
a:"Shei
smydaught
er"

Dadwasnother
e.

Me:
"It
hinkshehasspoken"

Shel
ookedatmeupanddownandi
mai
ntai
nedmydeat
hst
are.

Nokzol
a:"Mxm.Let
sgoThembeka"

Theywal
kedout

Mom :
"wher
ewer
eyou?
"

Me:
"Canwedr
opi
t?"

Shenoddedandiwenttothebedroom andiknockedandLandi
swawasl
ayi
ngonNoma'
s
chest.Igoti
nandcr
ouchedinf
rontofherandshedidn'tmovenorbl
i
nk.

Me:
"(car
essi
nghercheek)Lum l
um "

Shedi
dn'
tev
enr
espond.

Noma:
"Shehasbeenl
i
ket
hisy
est
erday"

144
Me:
"Hassheeat
en?
"

Noma:
"shedoesn'
twantt
o"

Me:
"Lum l
um i
am her
efory
ou"

Shewassti
llsi
l
entbuttear
slefthereyes.I
tshat
ter
edmyhear
tseei
ngherl
i
ket
hat.Ipul
l
edt
o
mychestandheldheranditwasgetti
ngandwet.

Me:
"Iam sor
ry"

Noma:
"iwi
l
lgocheckonAmanda"

Shewalkedoutandistoodupandt
ookoffmyshoesandlai
donthebedpulledhert
omeand
shesobbed.Ihel
dherasshecri
ed.
icoul
dalsof
eelt
helumpinmythroatbutineedt
obe
str
ongforher
.Wecan'tbothbr
eakdown.Oneofushastobest
rong.

*NKONZO*

I
twasaf ewminutebef or
etheplanel
andedandi f
astenedmyseatbeltandrelaxedasthe
pl
anei saboutt oland.Heari
ngmyBoyy esterdaysobr okenmademenotok.Li keMuzii
sone
ofthet oughestguysiknow.Toughert hanhisbr otherit
sli
keheisani
malatti
meswhenhei s
i
nhi smode.Wehav eknowneachot herforov er10y earsnowandwesti
llst
rong.Heismy
bestfr
iend.Ilef
tthemi ssi
onjusttobethereforhim.Heneedsmeandt hatiknow.Thepl ane
l
andsatORTamboandmyl uggageistakenaway .Myphoner i
ngsassoonasi swit
chiton.

Me:
"Baba(Dad)"

Dad:
"Whatar
eyoudoi
ngi
nSout
hAf
ri
ca?"

Me:
"Muzi
needsmeandi
tsacoder
ed"

Hechuckl
ed.That
stheonl
ywayhewi
l
lleav
eme.

Dad:
"iwi
l
lcal
lyouaf
tert
woday
s,y
oul
eftThul
ani
?"

Me:
"yeshehasgotev
ery
thi
ngundercont
rol
"

Dad:
"that
sal
lineedt
ohear"

145
hehungupandi
breat
hedoutandt
hengoti
nthecarwi
tht
hedr
iverandhedr
oveof
f.

Me:
"di
dhesendt
hel
ocat
ion?"

Dr
iger:
"yessi
rhedi
d"

Me:
"okdr
ivest
rai
ghtt
her
e"

Igotbusyonmyphoneandwear ri
vedatatownship.Heparkedthecarandigotoutandt
old
himt owaitformei
nthecar.Igotoutandthi
splaceandhouseremindedmeoft heti
mewe
str
uggl ed,
meandmygr andmother.Mayhersoulresti
npeace.Iknockedandther
ewasthe
Queennextt oanol
dwomanandNoma.Shej umpedandcamet ohugme.Ichuckl edwhi
l
e
catchingher.

Noma:
"OhmygodNkonzoy
ouar
esohot"

Queen:
"Nomazul
u!"

Wel
etgo.

Me:
"imi
ssedy
out
oo"

Queen:
"whatani
cesupr
iseMf
anawam "

It
ookof
fmyshoesandsatdown.

Me:
"Mycondol
ences"

Queen:
"ey
ikunzi
kakona(i
tshaed)
"

shel
ookeddown.

Me:
"iknow,
wehav
etobet
oget
her"

i
am notr
eal
l
ygoodi
ncomf
ort
ing

Ol
dwoman:
"br
ingy
ourhandsher
e"

i
lookedather
.

Queen:
"thi
sisMaDl
ami
ni.Shei
sthegr
andmot
her"

Me:
"ohsawubonamah"

Her:
"Br
ingy
ourhands"

i
didsl
owl
ywhi
l
enotsur
e.Shet
ookt
hem andcl
osedherey
es.Sheopenedt
hem andsmi
l
ed

Her:
"Youar
ebl
essedbey
ondmeasur
es"

146
It
ookmyhandsback.

Queen:
"Nomagomaket
ea"

Me:
"it
soki
am nott
hri
sty"

Shenodded

Me:
"wher
eisMuzi
?"

Iwant
edt
oseehi
m

Queen:
"theywentt
ochooset
hecasketf
orNt
ombi
"

Me:
"ohok"

Ther
ewassi
l
ence

Me:
"iwi
l
lbeout
sidei
fyouneedme"

shenoddedandiwal
kedout.Theenvi
romentwassomberanddepr
essing.Iwentt
otheback
whil
elight
ingupmyci
garet
teandi t
ookapuffwhenihear
dabeautif
ulyethear
tbr
eaki
ng
si
nging.

"(si
ngi
ng)i
ftomor
ow nev
ercame

Woul
dsheknowhowmuchi
lov
edher?

i
woul
dtr
yinev
eryway

Toshowherev
eryday

Thatshe'
smyonl
yone"

Ist
ompedonmyci garr
eteandrubbedmyhandsbef or
egoingint
othebananatreeandisaw
thi
sbeautif
ulyetbr
okengir
l.Iam sur
eifshewasn'
tinthatstat
eshewouldhavebeena
goddess.Igotbehi
ndherandstoodtherewhi
leadmiri
ngherandherbr
okensingingbef
oreshe
tur
nedandbackedawayscar ed.

Me:
"iam sor
ryt
oscar
eyou"

shesni
ff
edandnextt
hingshei
shuggi
ngmeandi
am shocked.Shei
scr
yingandi
coul
dfeel
mychestget
ti
ngwet.

Her:"Sheisyoungtodie.Sheisonly6.Shehadbigdreamsbey ondthi
sbubble, beyondour
l
ivi
ngsituat
ion.Shewasmyr easontowakeupdobet tershewasmyr easontosmi l
eeveryday
andmyr easontopushhar der.Shewasmyev er
ythi
ng.Mywhol eworldandbreathandhear t
andnowshei sgone.(sheletsoutasharpsobandi hugherbackandhol dherwhileshesti
ll

147
sobs)I
tsal
lmyf
aul
t.Ishoul
dhav
epr
otect
edherandshewoul
dbeher
ewi
thmer
ightt
his
moment.
"

Sheheldontometi
ghtl
yandmyshirti
ssoakedi
nhert
ear
s.Idon'
tev
enknowwhatt
osay
.I
j
ustremainedsi
l
entandhel
dherback.

*I
ntr
oduci
ngNkonzoi
ntot
hest
ory*

I
NSERTTWENTY-
ONE

Thesingi
ngwascar ri
edonast heherlit
tl
eboxwentdown.Icoul dn'tbeli
eveit.Shewasr eall
y
gone.Ithoughtthiswasst i
l
lthelongestdream ihaveev erbeenst uckinbutitsnot.It'
sa
ni
ghtmare.Hehel dmyhandandwewer elednextt ohergr avetopourt hesand.Ilookeddown
andthetearshavedr i
edup.Theyarenotcomi ngoutany mor e.Ipouredt hesandandwewal ked
off
.Ithi
nktheygotfinishedt
hedayi huggedt hatguy.Ishouldfindhim andt hankhim and
appol
ogiseforsoakinghisexpensi
veshirt
.Itdidlookexpensive.

Muzi
:"Lum l
um "

Itur
nedtohi
m andhuggedhi
m.Hehasbeent
her
eformesincedayonetil
lthel
astandi
appreci
atei
tsover
ymuch.Hehugsmeback.Hekissesmyforehead.

148
Me:
"Thanky
ou"

Muzi
:"I
tsmydut
y"

Ithankhi
mf orever
ythi
ngandev enthefuner
al.Ntombiwasburi
edsobeauti
ful
lyandiam at
peaceofthewayshewasl aidtorest.Webrokethehugandwentt ohi
scarandhedrov
eof f.
Sheisgoneandi havetoacceptthatandmov eon.Wegethomeandpeopl earet
hereget
ting
foodandleavi
ng.TheQueencomesandhugsmeandi hugherback.

Me:
"Thanky
ouy
ourMaj
est
y"

Queen:
"youar
eli
kemydaught
er"

Noma:
"andy
oul
i
ket
hesi
steri
hav
enev
erhadandwi
shedf
or"

Wel
aughaswehugged.

Queen:
"OhLandi
swaMychi
l
diwanty
out
omeetsomeone"

Noma:
"Hi
snamei
sNkonzoandhei
shot"

Muzi
:"Nomazul
u!"

Hewar
ned

Noma:
"What?
hei
s"

Sheshr
uggedandi l
aughed.TheQueencamebackwi
thsomeguyinablacksui
t.From hi
s
shoest
hatseem I
tal
iantohisfaceandi
coul
dseewhoitwas.Theybr
ohuggedwithMuzi

Muzi
:"Thanky
ouf
orbei
ngher
eforus"

Guy:
"That
swhatbr
other
sar
efor"

Ohmygodt
hat
shi
sbr
other
.Whati
swr
ongwi
thy
ouLandi
swa.Ir
eal
l
yhav
etoappol
ogi
se.

Queen:
"Thi
sisLandi
swa,
Landi
swat
hisi
sNkonzo,
Muzi
'sbest
fri
end"

Hest
ret
chedouthi
shand

Nkonzo:
"Ni
cet
omeety
ouandi
am sor
ryf
ory
ourl
oss"

Ibackeddownf
rom t
hest
ari
ngcont
est

Me:
"ni
cet
omeety
out
ooandt
hanky
ou"

Iwasactual
factthanki
nghimf
orlett
ingast
rangerwethi
sshirt
.Wel
etgoandi
stoodnextt
o
Muziandhewr appedhisar
msaroundmeandki ssedmycheek.

149
Muzi
:"wewi
l
lbel
eav
ingsoon,
wil
lyoubeok?"

Me:
"yes.Cal
lme"

Hechuckl
ed

Muzi
:"Iwi
l
l"

Noma:
"weknowy
ouar
einl
ove.Justbecausewear
enotandNkonzobei
ngt
empt
ati
on"

Queen:"Ngi
zokusakazangempamaungakhol
wa(i
am gonnasl
apt
hehel
loutofy
ouandy
ou
won'tbel
iev
e)"

Wel
aughed.Wewentt
oeatandi
huggedAmandaandt
hankedMandl
afort
hesuppor
t.

[
FIVEMONTHSLATER]

Thingswer egettingok.Thi ngswer egetti

ngbet ter.Welli
tsJanuary, t
hetoughestmont hofthe
yearwher ewet rytorecov erfrom theFest i
v emay hem wehav ebeenupt o.Itwasaf esti
ve
seasont oremember.Fi rstl
ybecausewespentChr i
stmasatMuzi '
shouse.Ist illdi
dn'tli
ke
goingtot heKhany i
saKi ngdom f ornowasi tsti
llhauntsmebutheunder stoodcausehewant ed
meandGogot ospendChr i
stmaswi thhim andhi sf amil
y.Secondlyitwast hefirstti
menot
goingchristmasshoppi ngf orkidsclothes.Ver ylittl
ethi
ngsmadememi ssNt ombi andmade
mecr yabi t.Butanywayl i
feisokandl ookinggood.Iwi l
l bestar
ti
ngschool verysoonandso
aretheot her14Candi datesf ortheScholarshippr ogram.Ndal owassohappyaboutt hatand
hermot hertheythankedusr eall
yandwewer ehappyt oo.Iam sti
lldati
ngMuzi andi fal
lfor
him everysingl
eday .Hej ustmakesmef allhardforhim.Hehasbeenbusyal otbuthemakes
ti
mef ormet ooandbewi thme.Any wayi am justonmywayt owork, i
tundernew
Managementsi nceMenzi isKingandi sall upinKzn.Iwal kedtomydeskandi start
edf ixi
ng
thefil
esi am supposedt ogi vetothenewact i
ngCEO.

*
MUZI*

150
"Don'
tmakeami
staket
hist
ime.Ki
l
lhi
m Muzi
andNkonzo"

Nkonzo:
"wewi
l
lbabai
tsj
usthasbeensohar
dtot
raceMongezi
"

Baba:
"Remembernohumani
shar
dtof
ind.Noonehi
desf
orev
er"

Wenodandi
tsl
i
kewear
eki
ds.

Baba:
"Andv
isi
tmywi
feNkonzo"

Nkonzo:
"Wi
thal
lduer
espectbaba.
..
..
..
."

Youknowwhat
'saf
tersuchani
ntr
o.I
t'
sawhol
elotofdi
srespect
.

Nkonzo:
"shei
syourwi
feandnotmymot
her
."

Hewal
kedout
.

Me:
"ihav
etogo.Ihav
eameet
ingi
nanhour"

Henoddedandi
wal
kedoutandgoti
nmycarandi
drov
eof
f.Ical
l
edNomonde.If
ir
edGugu
l
ongti
meago.Shewastoomuch.

Nomonde:
"YesMrQwabe"

Me:
"Di
dyousendt
hem ?"

Nomonde:
"yesi
didsendt
her
osest
oMsDl
ami
ni"

Me:
"Okt
hanky
ou"

Ir
emovedmyphonef
rom myearandl
ooked.Thewal
lpaper.Ismi
l
etomy
sel
fandi
gett
o
work.

*
NKONZO*

Iwasgoingt ogobackinPortugalinMar ch.Thatswhatmydadgav etomeasat imeframe.

Honestl
yi cansenseheknowswhati know.Muzi i
sgangsterinasuitbutheisnotanagent
l
ikemeandwhi chmadethingseasyf ormet of i
ndMongezi butiam stil
lthr
eadi
ngaround
thi
ngs.Stil
lplanni
ng.Thi
sisat oughsituati
onandi tneedsagreatmind.Sosi nceiwil
lbeher
e
i
nSAf orthenexttwomont hsihav ebeenr equestedtocheckupont hingsinMenzi'
scompany

151
andseehowt heyaregoi ngandhi reanewAct i
ngCEO.Thi swill
bebori
ngbecauseilovelivi
ng
ontheedgeandnoti nfrontofal aptopandboringmeetings.Igotoutofmycarassoonasi
parkandil ockitandbut tonmysui tandiwalkinwithhandsinmypocket .Assoonasigetin
everyoneseemsi nti
mi dated.Goodt hat'
swhati want
.Ther ecepti
oni
stdoesherworkwithout
evenlookingupandi walktot heelevat
orandpr esstomyf l
ooranditcl
osesandgoesup.I t
pi
ngsandi getoffandi seesomeonewhoi sunderadeskf i
git
ingandigotther
eandcleared
myt hroatandsher oseuphi tt
ingherheadunderi tandcries

"ouch"

Sherubsherheadandget
supandf
reezes.Iam al
soast
oni
shedbuti
keepmyf
acecool
and
cal
m.

Me:
"Wemeetagai
nMr
sQwabe"

Landi
swa:
"it
'sMsDl
ami
ni."

Me:
"Iknow."

l
andi
swa:
"Ok"

Ther
eissi
l
ence.Iam notgoodatt
alki
ngt
opeopl
e.

Landi
swa:
"Iguessy
ouaretheCEO.Herear
esomef i
l
esthatneedyourat
tent
ionandno
meeti
ngst
hisweekt
hatr
equir
esyoubutmaybecangoify
ouliketo.

Me:"y
ouwi
l
ltel
lmeal
loft
hem l
aterdur
ingt
heday
.Iwi
l
lcal
lyoui
fineedany
thi
ng.Justcof
fee
f
ornow"

shenodded

Landi
swa:
"yessi
r"

shenodded.

Me:
"Myboyi
sLucky"

shebl
ushed.Di
disayt
hatoutl
oud?It
urnedt
owal
ktot
heof
fi
cebutwasst
oppedbyher

Landiswa:"idi
dntgetachancet
osayt
hati
am sor
ryabouty
ourshi
rtandt
hanky
ouf
orhuggi
ng
astranger"

Ichuckl
ed

Me:
"don'
twor
ry.I
tsok"

shenodded

152
Landi
swa:
"Agai
n.Thanky
ou

Iwal
kedi
ntomyof
fi
ceandcl
osedt
hedoorandst
art
edwor
king.

I
NSERTTWENTY-
TWO

Myphoneringsasi am packi
ngupmyt hi
ngsandgett
ingr
eadyforlunch.Ihav
et osaythat
Nkonzoisuniqueli
kestrangeandmyst
eri
ousinaway .Heisqui
etHotaswel lbutnotmycup
oft
ea.Iam inlovewithMuzi andi
don'
tseemy sel
fwit
hanyoneelsethisti
mearound.Ianswer
myphoneandputi tonmyear

Amanda:
"Bi
tch!Howar
eyoubabes?
"

Thenoi
se.YohAmandai
ssov
eryl
oudbuti
lov
ehernont
hel
ess.

Me:
"Iam goodandy
our
slef?Imi
ssy
ou"

Ipout
edwhi
l
ewal
ki
ngt
otheel
evat
orandgoti
n.

Amanda:
"Iam good.Iwannat
akey
ououtf
orl
uncht
omor
row "

153
Me:
"That
sni
ce.Thanky
oubabes"

Amanda:
"Sur
eletmeRush"

Shehungupandast heelevat
orwasaboutt ocl
oseahandst oppeditandhisshoeenteredand
soast her
estofhi
sbodyandi mov edclosertothemirr
or.Theelevatorcl
osedandt her
ewas
si
lence.Il
ookedatthemirr
orandi sawt hathewaslookingatme.Icl ear
edmyt hr
oatasi was
gett
inguncomfor
tabl
eandhef ixedhissuitandburi
edhishandsdeepi nhispocket
s.The
el
evatorgott
othegroundfl
oorandi topened.

Nkonzo:
"Ladi
esf
ir
st"

Hegest
uredwi
thhi
sri
ghthand.

Me:
"Thanky
ou"

Iwalkedoutandifel
tey
esheavyonme.Theywer
esoheavy.Isawhim andhegotoutoft
he
carandirushedt
ohisarmsandweshar
edakissandheper
kedmyf orehead.

Muzi
:"Howi
syourdaysof
ar?"

Me:
"Good.Thanky
ouf
ort
hef
lower
s"

Muzi
:"(car
resi
ngmycheek)I
tsbecausei
lov
eyou"

Ibl
ush

Muzi
:"Br
o"

Theyf
istbumpwi
thNkonzoandi
am l
ooki
ngdownt
hiswhol
eti
me.

Muzi
:
"Howi
smywi
fet
reat
ingy
ou?
"

Nkonzo:
"Good.Shei
sforkeeps.Hol
dherman"

Muzi
lookedatme.

Muzi
:"i
wil
l
.Dr
inkst
oni
ght?
"

Nkonzo:
"Sur
e.Ihav
eal
unchdat
e,Ihav
etor
ush"

Hewalkedtohi
scarandMuzi
openedt
hedoorf
ormeandi
goti
nandhewentt
ohi
ssi
deand
hegotin.

Me:
"Howl
onghav
eyoubeenf
ri
endswi
thNkonzo?
"

Muzi:
"wewentt
oVarsi
tytogether
.Iwas18att hatt
imeandhewas20.Hei s2yearsoldert
han
me.Youguy
sareact
uall
yhav easimil
arbackgroundbecausehewasbroughtupbyhis
gr
andmot
her.Hi
smotherdiedwhilegi
vingbi
rthtohim andhedi
dn'
tknowhisfatherunti
laf
ter

154
uni
ver
sit
y"

Me:
"Hei
sol
dert
hany
ou?"

Muzi
:"Yes."

Me:
"buthel
ooks25"

Muzi
chuckl
ed

Muzi
:"andi
look?"

Me:
"20baby"

Heki
ssedmycheekwhi
l
edr
ivi
ngandhel
dmyhandwhi
l
edr
ivi
ng

Muzi
:"Il
ovey
ouandi
poppedmybal
l
oon"

Me:
"if
orgotaboutt
hat,
iwi
l
ldoi
ttoni
ght"

Muzi
:"Ok.Iam al
way
sher
efory
our
emembert
hat"

Me:
"Bl
essy
ou"

Hesmi
l
edanddr
oveof
ftohav
eluncht
oget
her"

*
MBALI*

"
Waaah!
!Waaah!
!"

Mom :
"Gi
vehert
ome."

Ihandov
ert
hebabyt
oherandscr
eam bef
orei
breakdowni
ntot
ear
s.

Me:
"Ican'
tMah.Thi
sist
oomuch.Shedoesn'
tst
op"

Mom :
"Hav
eyoudonet
hecer
emonyf
orher?
"

Me:
"TheKi
ngsai
dthatweshoul
ddoi
twhenshei
s4mont
hs.That
snextmont
h"

Mom nodded

Mom :
"Shel
ooksj
ustl
i
keherf
ather"

155
"shei
smyangel
"

WelookedatthedoorandMenzimadehi
swayin.Thecounci
lhasbeenkeepi
nghi
m and
r
unningaKingdom i
snojoke.Hecomesandbowsbefor
emom shelaughs

Mom :
"Ishoul
dbet
heonebowi
ngmyKi
ng"

Menzi
:"I
tsanhonourt
oal
way
sbet
hepr
esenceofaLangel
i
hler
oyal
ty.AQueenev
en"

Mom l
aughs

Me:
"Hey,
Youar
emar
ri
edt
oaLangel
i
hlepr
incess"

Hel
aughedandki
ssedmycheek

Menzi
:"i
am t
easi
ngbabe"

Hetur
nedtomom andopenedhi
sar
mssohecant
akeSi
phesi
khul
u.Hesmi
l
esf
rom eart
oear
andki
sseshert
inyhands.

Menzi
:"Mypr
incess"

Mom :
"Iwi
l
lbedownst
air
swi
thy
ourmot
her"

Inoddedandshewal
kedoutsndhesatnextt
omeandhewi
pedmyt
ear
s.

Menzi
:"Iknowi
tst
ough"

Ikeptqui
et

Menzi
:"Iam sor
ry"

Iki
ssedhi
m andheki
ssedmebackbef
oreSphecr
iedandwebr
okei
t.

Me:
"Isweari
tsl
i
keshewasbor
nbyawhi
stl
e."

Wel
aughandheki
sseshercheek

Menzi
:"Shei
sourwhi
stl
e"

It
ookherfrom hi
m andwentt
ochangeher.Idon'
twantt
heseservant
scur
singmybabygi
rl.
Sheisst
il
lcry
ingandMenzist
andsupandcomesbehi
ndmeandl ooksatmewhil
eichange
Sphe.

*
MADLAMI
NI*

156
.

Mamf
undi
si:
"Peopl
ewhokeeponshout
ingGody
ett
heyhav
enegl
ect
edt
hei
rdut
ies."

Sheshoot
sherey
etome.Iknowshemeansme.Iam notgoi
ngt
oent
ert
ainheri
nsecur
it
ies.

MaSibi
ya:"MaDl
amini
Hadt
obur
ryhergr
anddaught
erl
astweekaf
tershewasshot
.Iam sur
e
yousawthestor
y"

MaMf
undi
si:
"(cl
ap)Heeh.That
snotanexcuse!
"

Ist
oodupandtookmybagasshewascausi nghavoc.Foragr
ownwomanofGodshei s
act
ingsomewhat.Ibumpedi
ntothePast
orgetti
ngoutofhiscarandi
changedmydi
rect
ion
andifel
tahandhol
dmyupperarm andit
urned

Me:"Ngiy
ekeumaungaf
uni
ngi
nqumei
zandl
azakho(l
eav
emeal
onei
fyoudon'
twantmet
o
cutyourf
inger
s)"

Hel
etgoofme.

Mf
undi
si:
"Li
ndi
wei
wantt
oappol
ogi
se"

Me:
"Forhowmanyt
imes,
Ihav
efor
giv
eny
ouy
ear
sago.Ihav
enot
hingagai
nsty
ouMr
Mhl
ongo"

Heputhi
shandont
hebi
ble.

Mf
undi
si:
"Howar
ethegi
rl
s?Ihear
daboutNt
ombi
andi
am sor
ryi
coul
dn'
tcome"

Me:
"Theyar
eokandt
heygr
ewupf
ineandy
ouwer
en'
tneededatt
hef
uner
al"

Iwalkawayfrom hi
m wi
thtear
sinmyey
es.Ishoul
dnotl
etmypastgett
ome.Iwi
l
lnotl
eti
t
hauntme.Ihadmov edon

I
NSERTTWENTY-
THREE

157
.

Thehouseismuchquiet.I
thasbeenf ort
hepast5monthsl
ikether
eisnooneinit
.It
akeoff
myshoesassoonasi getin.Muzi dr
oppedmeof f
.Iwentt
ot heki
tchenandputmybagdown
ontherockyt
ablet
hatisbalancedbyabrickandopent
hepotsthatarecal
l
ingmebythei
r
aromathoughihav
eeaten.

"Musaukuv
ulaamabhodwei
sinomai
kanj
ani
(don'
topent
hepot
showev
ery
oul
i
ke)
"

It
urnedar
ound.

Me:
"Sor
ryGogo"

Shepul
l
sachai
randsitdownandpl
acesherbi
bleonthet
able.Shei
sinherat
ti
re.Shei
sa
seer
.Pr
opheti
shoul
dputitt
hatwayandfeel
sapersonsaur
aaswell
.

Gogo:
"Howi
sMuzi
?"

Isi
tdownopposi
teher.

Me:
"Hei
sgood."

Shenods.

Gogo:
"Ihaddr
eamsabouti
tbutt
heywer
en'
tcl
ear"

Ther
eissi
l
ence.

Me:
"It
hinksot
oo"

Gogo:
"Youhav
est
eppedi
ntomyshoesandsoony
ouhav
etoCar
ryt
he power
sthatGodhas
gi
vent
oyou"

Me:
"YouknowGogoi
don'
tbel
i
evei
nGod"

Ihat
etal
ki
ngabouthi
m.Shet
akesmyhands.

Gogo:
"Landi
sway
azy
ouar
esodest
inedf
orgr
eatt
hingsandhappi
ness "

Me:"Ifiam dest
inedforgreatthi
ngsandhappi nessthenwhydidil
ooseNtombi,
whydoesmy
motherhatemeandi don'
tknowmyf athert
hatwell
.Whyarebadthi
ngscomingmyway?The
onl
ygreatthi
ngi hav
eisMuzi andi don'tknowev eni
fitwi
ll
last"

Shekeepsqui
et

Gogo:"Inal
lduet
imethi
ngswil
lmakescense.YouneedGodforwhatisaboutt
ocome.Isee
gr
eatstormsandbat
tl
esthatneedyourst
rengt
h.Prayerwi
l
lbeyourkeytoanswer
smychil
f.

158
Goddoesn'
tputusi
nsi
tuat
ionst
hatar
ebey
ondourst
hregt
hbutheknowswecanhandl
eit"

Me:
"Heshoul
dcountmeoutbecausei
won'
tbeabl
etohandl
eit
.Al
readyi
tst
oomuch.

Istoodupandi walkedoutandwentt ot hebackt otbeBananat reeandi satdownandj ustlet

thetearsflow.Ev eryt
hingcamef loodingandev eryemot i
on.Whydobadt hi
ngshappent ome?
Iknowi am notsay ingthatsomeoneel sedeserv eitbutcutmesomesl ack.Ist ayedtheret i
ll
it
wasdar kandi wenti nsi
de.Iboi ledwat erandt hent ookabat hforthenight.Ifi
nishedandi
walkedtoGogo' sr oom afteri wasdonebat hi
ngandopenedt hedoi goorandshewassi t
ti
ng
onherbedr eadingt hebible.Mygr andmot herisabeaut ifulwomani nsi
deandoutl i
kei gotmy
thi
ckbodyf r
om her .I t
sunf ort
unat ethatshedi dn'tf i
nishhereducat i
onbecauseshehadt o
dropoutVar si
tywhenshegotpr egnantwi thmom.Herpar ent
sdi sownedherbut"mkhul u"
stoodbyherandt ookcar eof byhust lingti
llshegotpr egnantwi thAuntyNokzol aandMal um
Zola.Mal um Zol adiedf ewy earsback.Wedon' tknowt hei
rfat
herasgr andkids.Ourappar ent
GrandfatherShenev ertalksabouthi m ev er
.Wej ustletitbecausei tshasbeenourst or ythat
wedon' tknowt hemenofwhoar eoursper m donor s.

Gogo:
"Comei
n"

Iwalkedi
nandcl
osedournotsogooddoorandi
goti
nbedwi
thherandshemademel
ayon
herchest
.

Gogo:
"Iam notf
oci
ngy
out
oknowt
hebi
blebutcani
readt
hisv
ersef
ory
ou?
"

Me:
"Youcant
ell
meabouti
tandmay
ber
eadi
ttomor
row "

Shegi
ggl
ed.Iwi
l
ketal
ect
ureaf
teri
know.

Gogo:
"Iwanty
out
oread1Cor
int
hianschapt
er10Ver
se13"

Me:
"Iwi
l
l.
"

Wecl
osedourey
esandwepr
ayed.Thenaf
tershehel
dmeasi
lai
donherchestandwer
est
ed.

159
*MUZI*

Assoonasi gothomef
rom dr
oppi
ngLandiswaigothomeandi
wentt
otakeashower
.Igota
phonecal
lfr
om mom assoonasigotoutofthebat
hroom.

Me:
"Ndl
unkul
u(Queenmot
her)"

Shegi
ggl
ed

Mom :
"Whatal
ovel
yint
roduct
ion."

Il
aughed.

Mom :
"Howar
eyoukodwa?howi
sLandi
swa?It
ri
edt
ocal
lher"

Me:
"Shei
sgood.Shedoesn'
twantt
otaket
her
apyt
hough"

Mom si
ghed.

Mom :
"Yazi
ngi
l
alangi
ngal
elengi
cabangangay
e(Idontsl
eept
hinki
ngabouther)
"

Me:
"shehasme.Iwi
l
lhel
pher"

Mom :
"Ahsosweetmyboy
.Wher
eisNkonzo?
"

Me:
"Ar
ound.Hei
sleav
ingi
ntwomont
hs"

Mom :
"why,
iwanty
out
ocomedownwi
thhi
mthi
sweekend"

Me:
"Iwi
l
laskhi
m"

Mom :
"Wel
liam notaski
ng.By
e"

Shehungup.Hawu.Igotdr
essedinjeanswi
thablackgol
ft-
shi
rtandsneaker
sandt oppedi
t
wit
habaseball
capandwatch.Itookmyphoneandwentdownt hestai
rsandigottomycar
anddrov
eofftotheCl
ubthatwewillmeetat.Ical
l
edhim onmyway .Heanswered.

Me:
"Ihopey
ouar
eatt
hepl
aceal
ready"

Nkonzo:
"Iam j
ust5Mi
nut
esawayMan"

Hehungupandi
gott
othePl
aceandi
gotaphonecal
lasi
wal
kest
owar
dsi
tandi
answer
ed.

Me:
"Lum l
um "

Landi
swa:
"Andy
ouf
orgott
ocal
ll
ikey
oupr
omi
sed"

160
Me:
"Ei
shBabei
am sor
ry"

Ihearsomeshuf
fl
ing.

Landi
swa:
"Hav
ingf
unwi
thoutme"

Il
augh

Me:
"Youdon'
tli
kepar
tyi
ng"

Landi
swa:
"iam bor
edher
e"

Me:
"Bef
orei
gohomei
wil
lcomet
her
e"

Landi
swa:
"No,
youwi
l
lbet
ir
ed.Gohomei
wil
lseey
ouwheni
seey
ou"

Me:
"Il
ovey
ou,
remembert
hat"

Icanhearhersi
gh.Iknowshei
sbl
ushi
ng

Landi
swa:
"Il
ovey
out
ooGumede"

Ir
eachNkonzoandwef
istbump

Me:
"Babyi
gott
ogo"

Landi
swa:
"Mncwaaa"

Ihungup.

Me:
"Howwast
hedat
eman?
"

Nkonzo:
"Don'
task"

Ichuckl
edandwewentt
osi
tatt
heVI
Psect
ion.Thest
ri
pper
swer
edoi
ngt
hei
rthi
ngont
he
pole.

Nkonzo:
"Immaboutt
ogetmy
sel
fsomemeat"

Hespankedanassofoneoft
hest
ri
pper
sandwesatdownandcal
l
edt
heWai
terandhecame.

Me:
"getust
hemostexpensi
vewhi
skyy
ouhav
e"

Thewai
ternodded.

Nkonzo:
"Shoul
dn'
tyoubesav
ingf
oraweddi
ng?
"

Me:
"(f
rown)whendi
disayi
am get
ti
ngmar
ri
ed?"

Hechuckl
edasourdr
inkscame.

161
Nkonzo:
"Isai
dit."

Il
aughed

Me:
"Uduny
elwengy
abona(Youhav
elosti
tisee)"

Hel
aughed

Nkonzo:
"Iwi
l
lfucky
ouupi
nsul
tmeagai
nboy"

Wel
aughed

Nkonzo:
"Whenar
eyouget
ti
ngMar
ri
edany
way?
"

Het
ookabi
ggul
pof
fhi
swhi
sky

Me:
"may
besoon."

Henodded

Nkonzo:
"Yout
ell
meandi
wil
lcomedownf
ast"

Me:"Yeaht
hanky
ouman.Ihaveneversai
ditmuchbutt
hanky
ouf
orev
ery
thi
ngand
t
oler
ati
ngmeandf
ixi
ngupmyshit"

Nkonzo:
"noSweat
.You'
ddot
hesamef
ormei
know"

Webr
ohug

Me:
"YahnehGay
nesshassur
faced"

Wel
aughedandt
hest
ri
pper
scamet
ous.

Gi
rl1:
"Heyl
overboy"

Sheputherhandonmyshoulderandr
anitdownmypackswhil
ei dr
ankmywhi skyandi
t
l
andedonmycockandshiverswentdownmyspine.Il
ookedoveratNkonzoandheewas
enj
oyi
ngit.Ipushedt
hegi
rlabi
t.

Me:
"Got
osomeoneel
sei
am noti
nter
est
ed"

Idr
ankmywhi
sky

Her:
"It
sjustf
un."

Shegotonmeandki
ssedmyJawl
i
neandwhi
sper
edi
nmyear.

Her:
"Icangi
vey
ouf
un"

Igul
pedandgr
oanedasshegr
indedonMyhar
dni
ngDi
ck.

162
.

*NKONZO*

Fuckmyheadi spoundingandi am l
ateforwor
k.Ifeell
i
kestay
inginbedbutiseem t
owantt
o
gotowor katthesamet i
me.Myphoner i
ngsasihavegott
enoutofacoldshowerandit
smy
Dad.Iputhim onloudspeakerandistar
ttogetdr
essed.

Me:
"Baba"

Dad:
"Whyar
eyoudel
ayi
ngt
aki
ngMongezi
down.Iknowy
ouknowwher
ehei
s"

Si
l
encei
swi
thi
ngt
her
oom.

Dad:
"Youcan'
ttal
kany
mor
e?"

Me:
"Ican.I
tsj
ustt
hati
am t
hinki
ng"

Dad:
"Ofwhat?Jesus?Byt
het
imey
ougobacki
wantt
hisf
ixedori
wil
lfi
xhi
m andy
ouknowi
won'
thav
eanymer cy"

Hehangsup.Isi ghandsi tont hebed.Honest l

yi don'twantMuzi i
nvolvedt histimearound
causewewoul dn'tbeherei nthef i
rstplaceifhef i
nishedhim offbutbecauset heyaref amilyi
t
wil
l al
wayspointbackathim.Thi sti
mei wannat akecar eofit
.Istoodupandgotdr essedi n
casualcl
othes.Idon'tcarer eallyatt hemomentandi don'thaveanymeet ingst odayiknow.I
woremynav ychinoswithawhi tegol fshirtandsneaker sandituckedmychai nin.Iwor emy
watchandt ookmyl ight
erandci garretepackandwal keddownt hest air
sandgoti nmycarand
idroveoff
.Igott owor kandi tsliket heheati smaki ngmemor esickt hani alreadyam att he
moment .Iwal ktotheelevatorandi geti nandi tgoesupandi groanasi getabi tdizzy.Mani s
i
tthepussyt hatishaggedy ester dayort heAl cohol.Igotoutf oundHerl ooki ngforfil
esi nthe
shelfwhi
lebeingbusy .Sheturnedar oundwi thone

Landi
swa:
"Mor
ningMrMkhi
ze"

Me:
"Hol
dal
lmycal
l
sfort
hedayanddon'
tletany
onei
nunl
essi
tsMuzi
ort
her
oyal
fami
l
y"

Landi
swa:
"Ok,
Arey
ouok?"

163
Iwal
kedt
owar
dsmyof
fi
ceandst
opped.

Me:
"Whatdi
dyousay?"

Landi
swa:
"Imean.
..
..
iam sor
ry"

Iwalkedi
nandcl
osedt
hedoorbangi
ngit
.Isuddenl
yfeelangr
yfornoreason.Ithr
owmykeys
onthedeskandl
ayont
hecouchandtakeoutmycigaret
teandi smokewhilelayi
ngoni
tti
l
li
passout.

*
LANDI
SWA*

Luncht imei sal mosther eandi am scar edtot alkorgoandcheckonNkonzo.Ical l

edMuzi this
mor ningandhesoundedawf ul andsaidhei snotgoi ngtowor kbuthewi l
lseemel ateronandi
washappy .May bei cangoandsl eepov ertoday .IconfirmedLunchwi thAmandaandshesai d
i
tson.Ij ustcamef rom t henearbySuper maketandgoti ntotheCeoKi tchent hatisinourf l
oor
andmadet her emedyt hatAmandat ol
dmeabout .If i
nishedandwentt oKnockont hedoorand
i
twassi l
ent .Idecidedtol etmy selfi
nandpushedt hedooropenandt herewasabucketnextt o
hi
m ont hecouchandseemsl ikesomeVomi tt hatreachedt hefl
ooraswel l
.Thesmel lof
ci
gar etteandhi sperfumeandVomi taswel ldidn'tseem ok.Iputt heGl assont het ableandi
wentt oopent hewi ndowsandwal kedoutandwentt ot hestoreroom togetcl eaningsupplies.I
woret hegl ovesandwal kedinwi t
hthebucketofcl eanBl eachedwat erandi tookthebucket
withhi sReturnedst uffanfwentt othebat hr
oom andj f
lusheditdownandcl eanedt hebucket .I
startedcleaningt heof f
iceandmaki ngitneatandr efreshingwhi l
ehewasst illl
ayingont he
couch.Af teri wasdonei t
ookof ftheglovesandhesatUpandt ookthebucketandt hrewup
andspi tinside.Iclosedmyey esandopenedt hem wheni fel
teyesonme.

Me:
"Ibr
oughty
out
his"

Itookt
her
emedyandgav
eitt
ohi
m andhespi
tint
hebucketandt
ookof
fhi
st-
shi
rtwhi
l
e
taki
ngi
t.

Nkonzo:
"(scr
atchyhoar
sev
oice)Ineedanewt
-shi
rt,
Youar
enotki
l
li
ngmer
ight?"

Me:
"Muzi
woul
dki
l
lmei
fidi
d"

Hechuckl
edandt
ookonebi
ggul
pandcl
osedhi
sey
est
henswal
l
owedandgr
oaned.

Nkonzo:
"Thi
sshi
tisbad"

164
Me:
"May
bey
oushoul
dgohome.Idon'
tknow"

Nkonzo:
"iwi
l
lleav
ewheny
oul
eav
e."

Inoddedandwal
kedt
othedoor
.

Nkonzo:
"Landi
swaWai
t"

Ist
oppedandi
want
edt
ogetoutal
ready.

Nkonzo:
"Pl
easetakemycardandBuylunchf
ormeandYour
sel
fasat
hanky
ouandaNew
t
shir
twhenyougetbackf
rom Lunch"

Me:
"It
sfi
nei
wil
lbuywi
tht
hecompanycar
d"

Nkonzo:
"MusaUkubaNenkani
That
ha(St
opbei
ngst
abor
nandt
ake)"

Isi
ghedandt
urnedt
ohi
m andt
ookt
hecar
d.

Nkonzo:
"Thepi
nis1323.I
fyouseeany
thi
ngy
ouwantt
obuyaswel
lfeel
free.Notj
ustl
unch"

Me:
"Oh"

Hesmir
kedandl ai
dbackonthecouchandiwalkedout
.Ibreathedoutandhel
donmydesk
bef
orei
fel
l.Idon'tknowwhymykneesfeel
thisweak.Ibreathoutagain

Me:
"Getagr
ipLandi
swa"

It
ookmybagandwal
kedoutCal
l
ingAmanda.

165
I
NSERTTWENTY-
FOUR

Igoti
ntotherest
aur
antandi
sawAmandawav
ingherhandi
ndi
cat
ingherposi
ti
onandi
wal
ked
toherandsatdown.

Me:
"Yohi
am t
ir
ed"

Amanda:
"Icanseey
oudi
dntev
enhugme"

Shecall
edthewaiterandthenwavedherhandandi l
ookedbackandNomacamer ushi
ngtoo
us.Damnthisgi
rlcandress.Shekissedourcheeksandpul
ledachai
randsatdowntaki
ngher
shadesoff
.

Noma:
"YuuhLadi
essor
ryi
am Lat
e.HeyLal
a"

Me:
"Yourhi
ghness"

Noma:
"iwi
l
lspi
nKi
cky
ouwena"

Wel
aughed.

Amanda:
"Nowwecanhav
elunch"

Noma:
"onmeLadi
es"

Amanda:
"Ican'
tsaynot
othat"

Me:
"Meei
ther"

Shecal
l
edt
hewai
tert
obr
ingwi
newhi
l
ewel
ookatourmenues

Me:
"Howcomey
ouar
ethi
ssi
de.?Imeanschool
star
tsnextmont
h"

Noma:
"Dadgi
vesusf
reedom.I
tsnotl
i
kei
am mar
ri
ed"

Amanda:
"That
sthespi
ri
t"

Me:
"Amanda"

Amanda:
"YohMamf
undi
sisor
ry"

Theyl
aughed.

Me:
"Youst
il
lav
irgi
n?"

Noma:
"Fort
hewho?Hai
boI
mnandi
lant
oandNkonzoman(Thatt
hingi
sni
ceandNkonzo)
"

166
Mymoodchanged.Whyam j
feel
i
ngl
i
ket
his?

Amanda:
"Youhav
edonewi
thhi
m ?"

Noma:
"(t
akesasi
p)Iwi
sh.Iwantt
o"

Me:
"Muzi
wil
lki
l
lyou"

Noma:
"li
keaOneni
ghtst
and.Notl
i
kei
wil
ldat
ehi
m"

Wel
aughed.

Amanda:
"Ifi
didn'
tlov
emyboo.Iwoul
dhav
ehi
mlayont
his"

Shepat
tedherboobsandwel
aughed.

Me:
"Yohbot
hofy
out
oget
herseemst
obewor
sengeke"

Ourfoodcameandwestart
edeati
ng.I
twasr
eal
l
ynicebondi
ngwi
tht
hem .Af
tert
hati
got
Takeawaywit
halotofmeat
.Youknowmenandmeat.

Me:
"Ineedt
obuyat
-shi
rt"

Amanda:
"For?"

Me:
"nj
e,i
justwannahav
eaguy
'st
-shi
rt"

Whydi
dil
i
e?

Amanda:
"Iknowy
ousospi
l
lit"

Il
ookedatNoma"

Me:
"Okf
ine.Uhm Nkonzosentmet
obuyonecauseki
nda.
..
..
."

Imadet
hev
omi
ti
ngsuggest
ionandt
heyl
aughed.

Amanda:
"AwuourManChomi
"

Noma:
"Weshoul
dcomeseehi
m andhav
eat
hreesum y
ouknow"

Me:
"Ewwuno"

Theyl
aughedandaccompani
edmet
obuyt
het
-shi
rt
.Nomachoseanexpensi
veone"

Me:
"R1000f
orat
op.Nomano"

Noma:
"itwi
l
lsui
thi
sar
ms."

Me:
"Let
staket
hisone,
thatonedoesnthav
ethatni
cequal
i
ty"

167
Amanda:
"Heehmi
ssni
cequal
i
ty"

Me:
"Mxm "

Wet
ookt
het
shi
rtandwentt
oswi
pe.

Amanda:
"Yesgi
rl"

Me:
"Youar
efor
war
dMngoh"

Wel aughedandwalkedout.Wewentoursepar at
eway sandi gottot
heof
fi
ceandwenttothe
el
evator.Igoti
nanditwentupandi tpi
ngedandi gotoutandwal kedt
omydeskandiwentto
knockont heof
fi
cedoorandi hear
daf i
rm comeinandi walkedinandsaw Muzil
ayi
ngwith
Nkonzo.Thewaytheywer elayi
ngwassocut e.Helif
tedhi
shead.

Muzi
:"Babyi
am si
ck"

Me:
"Iam her
e"y

Nkonzol
ookedatmebutii
didn'
tlookback.Iputt
hef
ooddown.

Muzi
:"i
sithot?
"

Me:
"Spi
ceyy
oumean"

Muzi
:"y
est
hat"

Me:
"Yes"

Nkonzo:
"Takecar
eofy
ouri
nlawsMakot
i"

Me:
"Hai
boi
don'
trememberanyl
obol
a"

Muzi
:"Soonbabyi
am dy
ing"

Nkonzosatup.Muzi
rant
othebat
hroom whi
l
eipr
epar
edf
oodf
ort
hem .

Me:
"Uhm her
eisy
ourcar
dandTshi
rt"

Het
ooki
t.

Nkonzo:
"TommyHi
l
figer
.Ni
ce,
thatcr
apy
oumademedr
inkwor
ks"

Il
aughed

Me:
"It
snotcr
ap"

Nkonzo:
"itt
ast
esl
i
keshi
t"

Hewor
eit
.Thankgodcause..
..
..
.l
ordy
ouknowandpl
easef
orbi
d.Muzi
camebackandt
ri
edt
o

168
ki
ssmebuti
ducked.

Me:
"(ki
ssi
nghi
scheek)Nomout
hki
ssest
oday"

Muzi
:"Ahhbabyno"

Me:
"Letmegomakeadr
inkf
ory
ou"

Iwal
kedout
.

Day
slat
er

Dad:
"Oneweek,
tosor
tev
ery
thi
ngout
.One"

Hehangupandwascl
ear
lyangr
y.Ther
ewasaknockonmydoor.

Me:
"Comei
n."

Itookapuffof
fmycigar
ret
te.Iwasoutbythebul
conylooki
ngatt hecar
sandbuil
dingsand
al
sopeople.Myhandwasint hepocketasit
ookanicepuffoutofmyKentCigar
reteand
Lookedatit
.Thisonei
sgood.Someonecl ear
edthei
rthr
oatbehindmebuti di
dn'tturn.

Landi
swa:
"Uhm Si
r..
."

Itookonel
astpuf
fandt
hrewi
tandt
urnedt
oherwi
thhandsi
nmypocketwi
thaWhyi
nmy
head.

Landi
swa:
"Iaccepty
ourof
fert
oteachmeBasi
csaboutI
Tbef
orei
star
tschool
"

Muzihasaskedmet otutourLandiswabef
oreschoolopens.Ipr
otest
edbuthebeggedmeand
sai
diam thebestt
il
liproprosedtheIdeat
oLandiswa.

Me:
"Sur
e.Yout
ell
met
heday
sanddat
esy
ouar
ecomf
ort
abl
e"

Landi
swa:
"Sat
urdayseemsgood"

Shei
spl
ayi
ngwi
thherf
inger
slooki
ngdown.

169
Me:
"Ok.Iwi
l
lcomebyy
ourhouset
hen.

Landi
swa:
"Ah.
..
ok"

Shesi
ghs.

Me:
"That
sal
l?"

Landi
swa:
"Uhm y
est
hat
sal
lsi
r"

Shet
urnsar
oundandwal
ksoutwhi
l
eil
ookather.DamnNkonzoy
ouneedt
oleav
e.

I
NSERTTWENTY-
FIVE

*
MUZI*

Iwal
kclosetoherandwr
apmyar
msar
oundherwai
standki
ssherneckbutsher
emov
es
her
sel
ffrom meandihuf
f.

Me:
"Babyi
am sor
ry"

Landi
swa:
"Mmh"

170
Igocloset
oherasshei
sswi
fti
ngherwayar
oundthekit
chenandi
hol
dherwai
st.Iki
ssher
neckoncemoreandgot
ohershoul
der
sandsheissti
l
l.

Me:
"Iam sor
ry.Ishoul
dn'
ttakeoutmyf
rust
rat
ionony
ou"

Landi
swa:
"(sof
tl
y)i
shoul
dgohomewheni
am notneeded"

Me:
"Babyi
needy
ou"

Isuckonherneckasherbreathi
nghinchesandi pul
lhertomeandpr essmy sel
fonherandi
feelwarm."mmmh"shesoundf ul
l
ysay sandi t
urnheraroundandikissherli
psandshe
devoursmineaswel
l.Ipi
ckherupandshewr apsherlegsaroundmywai standiswi
tchofft
he
stoveandwalkof
fupthestair
s.

Landi
swa:
"Condoms?"

Me:
"Shi
tbabyi
for
gott
obuyt
hem.Iwi
l
lpul
lout"

Landi
swa:
"Ay
iMuzi
"

Me:
"Wewi
l
lbuyPi
l
lsaf
ter"

Iki
ssedher

Me:
"Ipr
omi
se"

Shenoddedandwegoti nmybedr oom andil

aidherdownonmybedandj ustadmi r
edher
beforeiseeherinherbir
thi
ngsui t
.Weshar eapassionat
eKissandir
unmyf ingersundermy
tshi
rtthatsheisweari
ngandr eachherperkyBoobs.Theyar
esoperf
ectandmyf avour
it
e.I
sli
ghtl
ysqueezet hem andshemoansandi runmyonehanddownt ohernookieandshehas
nounderwear .Perf
ect!.Isl
i
pi nmyf i
ngerandshemoans.

Landi
swa:
"Ahh"

Ifi
ngerherwhil
ewatchingherasshemoanandcaressherbodyatitunti
lshecameandi
pul
leditoutandshelooksatmeandsmilesandi
smi l
eri
ghtbackandi ki
ssher.Iuncl
othed
bothofusandi pul
lherbytheedgeoft
hebed.

Me:
"Il
ovey
ou"

Landi
swa.:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"

Iwenti
nher.[Cont
entr
emov
ed]

171
.

*LANDI
SWA*

Happiness.YohMuzi
makesmegl owandjustbehappy
.Ihopewhatwehavelast
sforreal
causeiwouldbehear
tbrokentoloosehi
m.Iam bytheBalconyandi
feel
hishandswrap
aroundme.Thev i
ewisbeauti
ful
justwhatineed.

Muzi
:"Icanj
usti
magi
newaki
ngupnextf
oyoul
i
ket
hisand(ki
ssesmycheek)hav
ingki
ds
wi
thyou"

Her
anhi
shandt
omyst
omach

Me:
"Met
oobutMaDl
ami
niwi
l
lki
l
lmei
figetpr
egnantbef
oremar
ri
age"

Hechuckl
ed

Me:
"Iam ser
iousMuzi
.Gett
hepi
l
lspl
ease"

Muzi
:"i
didt
heyar
eont
hedr
esser"

Iwal
kedi
nsi
deandhef
oll
owed.Igott
hem anddr
ankt
hem t
henper
kedhi
sli
ps.

Me:
"thanky
ou.Let
'sgetr
eadyf
orwor
kMr"

Muzi
:"Yesmam "

Hecar r
iedmeandigi
ggl
edandwewenttot
akeashowertoget
herbef
orewegotoutand
dressedthenhedr
ovemetowor
k.Igav
ehim anot
herki
ssandgotout
.Andwal
kedinsi
de.Iwas
happy.

Thembi
:"Youar
ehappy"

Me:
"it
sjustl
i
fe"

Thembi
:"Mmmh"

Ii
gnor
edherandwentt
otheel
evat
orandi
twentupandgott
omywor
kst
ati
onandgotdown
onwork.

Asiwasaboutt
osi
tdowni
hear
dsomebr
eaki
ngofgl
assandi
stoodupandopenedt
heof
fi
ce
door
.

172
Me:
"Isev
ery
thi
ngok?"

Nkonzo:
"Leav
e"

Hi
svoi
cewasf
ir
m andscar
ysoi
tur
nedandcl
osedt
hedoorandi
lef
t.

*
[UNKOWN]
*

Me:
"Wegothi
m."

Ndaba:
"whataboutt
hePr
ince?
"

Me:
"oht
hatone.Igotwhat
'scomi
ngf
orhi
m"

Il
ookatt
hepi
ctur
eofher.

Me:
"sweetl
ady
.Sur
elyhewoul
dn'
twantt
olooset
hat
.Ohandt
hesweetchi
l
d."

Ndaba:
"Theywon'
tknowwhathi
tthem "

i
tur
nedandl
ookedathi
m

Me:
"(Smi
rk)i
twoul
dbel
eastexpect
ed.Thet
hrowni
smi
neandnooneel
se."

Il
aughedandwal
kedout
.

Me:
"ALLHAI
LTHENEW KI
NGOFKHANYI
SA"

i
evi
ll
aughed.Feel
ssogoodt
obeaheadofy
ourst
eps.

173
I
NSERTTWENTY-
SIX

*MUZI*

Baba:
"Dammi
tNkonzoy
oucan'
ttel
lust
hat
.Iwantt
heheadr
ightnow!
"

Heisanimpati
entman.Ver
yimpati
emt.Whenhewant
ssomet
hingdone.want
sitdone.
Henceheisher
eatthewarehouseaddr
essi
ngus.

Nkonzo:"Babaiunder
standyourf
rust
rat
ionbutyougottofacet
hefactt
hatMongezi
is
expect
ingustostr
ikeanyt
imewhichisdanger
oustoallofusandourl
ovedones."

Hel
ooksathi
m andi
am si
l
ent
.Heydon'
tlookatmel
i
ket
hat
.

Baba:
"Whatar
eyout
ryi
ngt
osay?
"

Nkonzo:
"webackdownt
il
lhest
ri
kes"

Me:
"Soy
ouar
esay
ingt
hatweshoul
dwai
tunt
ilheki
l
lsoneofusagai
n?"

St
icks:"Bozzangi
yay
izwami
naUbhuda y
akhol
ent
oay
iri
ngay
o(Bossi
hearwhaty
ourFr
iend
i
ssaying)"

Baba:
"wenauwubani
(whoar
eyou?)
"

Me:
"hei
sSt
icks.Myr
ighthandman"

Babanodsbutunsur
e.

174
Nkonzo:
"Idi
dn'
twannabr
ingt
hisupbuti
thi
nkwhenweki
l
lMongezi
Muzi
shoul
dsi
titout.

Me:
"Whatt
hef
uck!NOt
hatwon'
thappen!
"

Baba:
"Iagr
ee."

Me:
"Buti
wantt
odoi
t"

Nkonzo:
"Honest
lysay
ingy
oushoul
dhav
eki
l
ledhi
mthel
astt
ime.

I
twasy
ourchance.Whatst
oppedy
ou?
"

If
oldedmyarms.Iknowwhyi
didn'
tki
l
lhi
m.Hei
sfami
l
ythat
'swhyi
gav
ehi
m anopt
iont
o
l
eavethecount
ry.

Me:
"Butt
hist
imei
wil
l"

Baba:
"Nkonzoi
sri
ght
.Wewi
l
lhandl
ethi
s.Iwi
l
linf
ormy
ourf
athert
oputmor
esecur
it
y"

Hesai
dthatt
aki
nghi
sphoneoutandl
eav
ing.

Me:
"dudesoy
ouj
ustwannat
akemymi
ssi
onandmakei
tyour
s?"

Nkonzo:
"youcanpr
otectLandi
swacausei
twi
l
lgetmessy"

Me:
"Nx"

Iwalkedout.Iam angry
.WhodoesNkonzothinkheis?Iknowhei
sri
ghtbutiwantt
okil
l
Mongeziandtort
urehim whi
leki
l
li
nghi
m.Igoti nmycarandidr
oveof
f.Iwanttosee
LandiswaMaybeshewi l
lcal
m medown.AnditisaSatur
dayAny
way.Igott
hereandical
l
ed
heronmyphoneandsheanswer ed.

Landi
swa:
"Babe"

Me:
"Iam out
side"

Ihungupbef or
eshecouldsayanyt
hing.It
hrewmyphoneatthebackseatandgr
oaned
fr
ustrat
ed.Shecameoutwear ingshort
swithabaggyt
shi
rtandf
lopsandgotinthe
passangerseatandsheki
ssedmylips.Ibr
okeit
.

Landi
swa:
"Ar
eyouok?"

Me:
"Yeahi
am f
ine"

Landi
swa:
"doesn'
tseem l
i
kei
t"

Me:
"Iam sai
diam FuckenokLandi
swaJustdr
opi
t!"

Isnapped

175
Landi
swa:
"Yohok"

Me:
"ei
shi
hav
esomewher
etobe"

Landi
swa:
"Soy
oucal
l
edmeouther
efornot
hing.Mxm.Cal
lmewheny
our
eadyt
otal
k"

Shegotoutandbanggedt
hedoor.Shi
t!.Ihi
tmyhandont
hesteer
ingwheel
andigr
oaned.I
am messi
ngup.Idroveof
fandwenttomyplaceandt
ookashoweracol
done.Igotdr
essed
andiwenttoeat.

Me:
"Mar
ti
nyoucant
aket
her
estoft
hedayof
f"

Mar
ti
n:"Thanky
ousi
r"

Inoddedandhewal
kedof
ftohi
scott
age.Ihaven'
tt al
kedt
oMenzi i
nawhil
e.Ikindami
sshi
m.
Yeahgayi
shri
ght
.It
akeoutmyphoneandical
lhim andsur
pri
sngl
yheanswers.

Menzi
:"Let
str
adepl
aces"

Ichuckl
e

Me:
"Bei
ngKi
ngi
shar
d?"

Menzi
:"Bei
ngahusband,
KingandFat
heral
latoncei
shar
d.Howdi
ddaddoi
t?"

Me:
"askhi
m"

Ther
ewassi
l
ence.

Menzi
:"i
wasi
nfor
medaboutt
heschol
arshi
ppr
ogr
am y
oust
art
ed"

Me:
"Yeah"

Menzi
:"Iwasn'
tinf
ormedabouti
tfr
om y
ouasKi
ng"

Isi
ghed

Me:"Idon'
twannaf
ighty
ou.Ipassedt
hei
deat
hroughdadbef
oreandhepassedi
ttot
he
counci
l"

Menzi
:"Isee"

Me:
"Mongezi
isback"

Menzi
:"What?
!When?"

Me:
"Hei
stheonewhoat
tackedt
hePal
ace"

Myangerr
oset
othet
houghtofhowNt
ombi
wasbr
utal
l
yki
l
led.

176
Menzi
:"Hei
stheonewhoki
l
ledNt
ombi
.Nahi
am comi
ngdown"

Me:
"Youcan'
tleav
etheKi
ngdom.Car
ryonasNor
mal
butt
ight
ensecur
it
y.Hei
sexpect
ingus
"

Hesi
ghs.

Menzi
:"Fuckt
hisi
smessedup.Let
stal
klat
eri
hav
etogo"

Me:
"Yeahsur
e"

Hehungup.Iwashedmydi
shandtheni
tookmycarkey
sanddr ov
eof
f.Nocal
lfr
om Landi
swa.
Ineedt
olayoffsomest
eam.If
oundmysel
fKnocki
ngonherdoor.

Her:
"Hey
"

Ihol
dherwai
standkissherwhi
l
epushingheri
nsideandshemoanedasi
kickedt
hedoor
cl
osedandpi
ckedherupandshewrappedherlegsaroundmywaist.

*
MADLAMI
NI*

"Lordl
aydownyourwingsandprotectmydaught
erf
ori
swhati
saboutt
ocome.Iknowt
he
stor
msthatar
ecomingarestr
ongerthanbef
ore,l
ety
ourwi
l
lbedoneunt
oherl
i
feMyGod...
..
..
"

Landi
swa:
"Gogo"

Me:
"Amen"

Iopenedmyey
esandshewal
kedi
nandi
stoodup.

Landi
swa:
"Uhm gogoNkonzoi
scomi
ngov
ert
oteachmeI
Tbef
oreschool
star
ts"

Ismi
l
e

Me:
"it
sokMnt
anami
.Iam goi
ngt
oapr
ayermeet
ingany
way"

Landi
swa:
"Idi
dn'
tsayl
eav
e.Can'
tyoust
ay,
Whati
fheki
l
lsme?
"

177
Il
aughasi
seepani
cinherey
es.

Me:
"Hewon'
tki
l
lyou"

Landi
swa:
"Youdon'
tknowt
hatandwhyar
eyousmi
l
ing?
"

Iwentandt
ookmybi
bleandbag.

Me:
"Hei
sabl
essedboy"

Landi
swa:
"hei
spr
ophetaswel
l?"

Il
aughed.

Me:
"Nobutast
imegoes.Thi
ngswi
l
lunf
old"

Landi
swa:
"gogoi
hav
ebeenmeani
ngt
osay"

Me:
"yes"

Landi
swa:
"Ihav
ebeenhav
ingdr
eamsofmecr
ying"

Me:
"Itwi
l
lreav
eal
wit
hti
me.Ihav
etol
eav
e"

Wehear
daknock.Iwal
kedoutandLandi
swaFol
l
owedme.Iopenedt
hedoor
.

Me:
"Sawubona(Hel
l
o)"

Hecl
ear
edhi
sthr
oatandi
lookedatLandi
swaandsmi
l
ed.

Nkonzo:
"YeboMah.Ni
njani
?(y
esMam.Howar
eyou?)

Me:
"Iam good.Youcamet
oteachmydaught
ery
ourt
echnol
ogyi
see"

Nkonzo:
"yes"

Me:"Comeinlandi
swaser
vehi
m bev
erages.Angahambi
engadl
i
leumf
anawam (Hemustnot
l
eav
ewi t
houteat
ing)"

Nkonzo:
"noi
t'
sfi
ne."

Me:
"Musaukubanenkani
.Angi
buzanga(St
opbei
ngst
ubbor
n.Idi
dn'
task)"

Hechuckl
ed.

Landi
swa:
"Gogo"

Me:
"Cal
lmeMahanddon'
tli
stent
othi
sone"

Nkonzo:
"Yesmam"

178
Me:
"by
eihav
etogo.Iam l
ate."

Iwav
edandwal
kedout
.Ihel
dmyl
ocket
.

Me:
"Yourwi
l
lshal
lbedonel
ord"

*
LANDI
SWA*

Ididn'
tknowwhattodoorsaysoij
ustl
efthi
m ont
hecouchandwentt
ogetsomebev
erages
forhim whi
l
eiam sti
l
lcooki
ngandiwenttogi
vei
ttohi
m.

Nkonzo:
"Thanky
ou.Iboughtal
apt
opf
ory
out
opr
act
iceonf
ort
het
imebei
ng"

Me:
"Uhm t
hanky
ousomuch."

If
iddl
edwi
thmyf
inger
s.

Nkonzo:
"Let
sst
artwi
thbasi
ccomput
erski
l
lsandwor
kupf
rom t
her
e.Whatdoy
ouwantt
o
l
earn"

Me:
"Hacki
ngandcodi
ng"

Hechuckl
edandi
smi
l
ed

Nkonzo:
"whyHacki
ng?
"

Me:
"Idon'
tknow.I
tseemsni
ce"

Nkonzo:
"Youknowi
am anAgentandi
doHacki
ngf
orwor
kpur
poses"

Me:
"Youwor
kfort
hegov
ernment?"

Il
ookedathi
m .Godpl
easef
orbi
d.Icr
ossmyl
egs.

Nkonzo:
"No.I
tsapr
ivat
eFor
ce.Iwon'
tdwel
lmuchont
hatbuti
wor
k wi
thhacki
ngmostof
t
hetime"

Me:
"Whyar
eyout
ell
i
ngmey
oursecr
etwor
k?Shoul
dn'
titbeasecr
et"

179
Nkonzo:
"iti
sbuti
trusty
ou"

Ther
ewassi
l
ence.Hecl
ear
edhi
sthr
oat
.

Nkonzo:
"(
sipshi
sdr
ink)Sol
etsbegi
n"

Hestar
edatmeashestar
tedt
oteachmehiscodi
ngandwhatnotst
uffandi
twasint
erest
ing
andmademeloveITf
orsomuch.Iwasexpect
ingacal
lfr
om Muzil
i
kei mi
sshi
m sovery
muchandthewaywepart
edwasn'
tok.

Nkonzo:
"It
hinkweshoul
dst
opher
e"

Me:
"Noweshoul
dcar
ryon"

Nkonzo:
"youar
edi
str
act
ed."

Isi
ghed.

Me:
"Ok"

Nkonzo:
"Gocheckont
hepot
s.Iam goi
ngf
orasmoke"

INoddedandst oodupandwenttoputthel
aptopawaybeforegoi
ngtocheckonmypot s.The
stewwasr eadysoi tur
nedof
fthestoveandi wal
kedout
side.Il
ookedaroundandisawmy
neighbourwavingatmeandi wavedbackbeforegoi
ngtot hebacktocheckonNkonzo.I
foundhimr appingtoasongwhil
esmoking.

Nkonzo:
"Itwasn'
tal
way
sahi
tnr
unr
elat
ionshi
p

I
tusedt
obel
ovet
hatwemi
ssed

Andcompani
onshi
p

Rememberwheni
treat
edy
ougood

Imov
edy
ouupt
othehi
l
l

Fr
om t
hei
l
lsoft
heget
tohood.

Gi
vi
ngy
ouahappyhome..
..
..
"

Hest
oppedandl
ookedatme.

Me:
"Don'
tst
oponmyaccount"

Nkonzo:
"Iam not"

Me:
"Tupachuh?"

180
Het
ookapuf
f.

Nkonzo:
"yeah.Hei
sal
egend"

Me:
"Indeed.

Ther
eissi
l
enceandhet
akesanot
herpuf
f.

Nkonzo:
"Youknow t
hispl
acer
emi
ndsmeoft
heday
sigr
ewupar
oundmygr
andmot
her"

Me:
"Shei
sst
il
lal
i
ve?
"

Nkonzo:
"Nah"

Het
ookapuf
f.

Nkonzo:
"Shepassedl
ongt
imeago.Shewasmyev
ery
thi
ng.
"

Me:
"Iam sor
ry"

Ther
ewassi
l
ence.

Nkonzo:
"wegetsomeandl
oosesome.I
tsl
i
fet
houghi
tsf
uckedupbuti
tis.
"

Me:
"yeah"

Nkonzo:
"Tel
lmeaboutNt
ombi
"

Tear
swel
dedi
nmyey
esbuti
pushedt
hem back.

Me:"shewasl
i
keadaught
ert
ome.Al
way
shappyandi
nJoy
.Smi
l
ingshewasawonder
ful
chi
l
d"

Henodded.Iwi pedthet
earst
hatreachedmyey es.Hedidn'
tl
ookatmewi t
hpi t
yandthat
wasafir
st.Thatsgoodcauseihat
edhowpeopl ewouldlooksorr
yforme.Istoodnextt
ohim
andourshoulderst
ouchedandmyey esfl
ippedback.Isawanimage.

_
___
__

"NOTHI
SISABOUTYOUNKONZONOTUS.YOUDON'
TCAREABOUTUS"

Hecamecl
osert
othewomanwho'
sfacei
coul
dn'
tseeandhel
dhergent
lyandki
ssedherl
i
ps
sof
tl
y.

"babycal
m down.Il
ovey
ouandt
hisi
sourf
utur
e.Iam sor
ryf
orupset
ti
ngy
ou"

Shepout
ed.

"i
lov
eyout
oo"

181
IsawaManbehi
ndNkonzopoi
nti
ngagunathi
m.I
twasaghostandt
henbangi
twentof
fandi
openedmyey
es.

_
___
___

Theywer
ebackt
onor
mal
.

Heputhi
shandsonmyshoul
der
s.

Nkonzo:
"Ar
eyouok?"

Myeyesfli
ppedagai
nandwhatisawwer efl
ashesofimagesthatareunpl
easant.Myeyeswent
backtoNormalandisawaGhostofsomeonehol di
ngaCr ownwithbloodonitandacrybroke
out.Tearsl
eftmyeyes.I
tst
hesameGhosti sawinthefi
rstv
isi
onawomancamebutt he
Ghostst
abbedthewomanandshecried.Thewomanl ookedli
keNkonzo.Il
ookedathim af
ter
hi
m shaki
ngmeandwehuggedwhi l
ei wasshaking.

Nkonzo:
"Youscar
edme"

Me:
"Weneedt
oseeSengway
o"

Hel
etgoofme.

Me:"Kubi
.Kubiokuzay
o.Angazi
kuy
ini
kodwai
tsbad(I
tsbad,
what
'scomi
ngi
sbad.Idon'
t
knowwhatiti
sbutit
sbad)"

Iwasst
il
lshaki
ngandj
usthel
donhi
m ast
ear
swentdownandhehel
dmet
ight
lyaswel
l
.

I
NSERTTWENTY-
SEVEN

182
.

*
MBALI*

Gai
l:
"Shel
ookssoador
abl
e"

Shesaidwhi
lecr
adli
ngSpheinherar
msasi
madet
hef
ormul
aforhert
henwentt
lsi
tdown
nextt
oherandtookSpheandfedher
.

Me:
"Shei
sanoi
semakert
hough.Idon'
tremembert
hel
astt
imei
hadpr
opersl
eep.

Gai
l:
"youar
eaQueen.Whatar
etheser
vant
sfor?Whydon'
tyouhav
eananny?
"

Me:
"Youknowi
nVi
l
lagesSor
cer
yandWi
tchcr
aftexi
sts.Idon'
twantt
hatf
ormychi
l
d"

Shet
ookherwi
negl
ass

Me:
"Don'
tdr
inm i
nfr
ontofmychi
l
d."

Gai
l:
"Chi
l
l.Shedon'
tknowany
thi
ng."

Me:
"Mxm."

Gai
l:
"Lov
eyout
oomommy"

Shekissedmycheekandishookmyhead.Ilovemydaught
erandaf
terseei
ngwhathappened
toNtombi.Iwoul
dbedamnedifany
thi
nghappenstomydaughter
.

*
MUZI*

Iwaslooki
ngar
oundformycarkey
sbefor
eherhandssnakedar
oundmywai
stbuti
pushed
herof
fmeandshelandedonthefl
oor
.

Her:
"Whati
syourpr
obl
em ?It
houghtwehadagoodt
ime"

Me:
"Itwast
hel
astt
ime.Getr
idofmynumber
sandi
fyouseemesomewher
e.Pr
etendl
i
ke

183
y
oudon'
tknowme"

Iwal
kedoutaf t
ergetti
ngkeysandigoti
nthecarandputmyheadonthesteer
ingwheel
.What
wasithi
nking.Whydi didoLandi
swali
kethat
.Myacti
onsspeaksomethi
ngelsethanmylov
e.
Il
oveher.Tearsjuststr
eameddownmyey es.

Me:
"Shi
timessedup.Shei
sgonnal
eav
eme"

Aft
ersomet imeofnotgoingistar
tedthecarandi dr
oveofftomyhouse.Iam notgoingto
worktoday.Isawhermessagesandmi ssedcallsandgui
ltcl
oudedme.Shouldi behonestand
tel
lherorkeepquietandmov eonlikenothi
nghappened?.Thi swasconfusi
ngandt heguil
t
wasconsumi ngmemor e.Iwenttomyr oom andtookalongcoldshowerwhil
einmyt hought
s.
IneedNkonzof ort
his.Iwil
lcal
lhi
ml aterormaybeswingbylunchti
meatwor k.

*[
UNKOWN]
*

Ndaba:
"Shei
swal
ki
ngt
owar
dst
hebui
l
ding"

Me:
"St
ayi
nher
e.Cal
lPal
esat
omyhouse.Iwantt
oknowhowi
tsgoi
ngwi
thMuzi
"

Ndaba:
"Yessi
r"

Il
ookedatt
hedr
iver

Me:
"dr
ivecl
oser"

Henoddedt hr
oughtherevi
ew mirr
orsnddri
venexttoherandsheseemedtoberushi
ng.Igot
outoft
hecaraf t
eri
tstoppedandiwalkedbehi
ndher.Iguessshefel
tmypr
esencecauseshe
tur
nedaroundandismi l
ed.Shef
rownedbuthereyespoppedabit.

Me:
"It
snotsaf
eforal
adyt
owal
kal
one"

Isai
dwi
thasmi
rk.

Her:
"Iam nearmywor
kpl
ace"

Shet
urnedandwal
kedansi
fol
l
owedherwi
thhandsi
nmypocket
.

Me:
"Iguessy
ouhav
en'
tint
roducedy
our
sel
f"

184
Her:
"Idon'
tseet
heneed."

Me:
"cani
accompanyy
ou?
"

Her:
"idon'
t..
..
..
"

Me:
"(r
aisi
ngmyhandsi
ntheai
r)i
won'
tdoany
thi
ngi
promi
se"

Shewasskept
ical
butsheagr
eed.Jusyy
eti
wontdoany
thi
ng.

Me:
"Soawonder
full
adyl
i
key
ouwal
ki
ngal
one"

Her:
"Ineedsomet
imet
othi
nk"

Me:
"Isee"

Wear
ri
vedi
nfr
ontoft
hecompany
.

Me:
"iguesst
hisi
swher
eyoust
op"

shenodded.

Her:
"Thanky
ou"

Me:
"(
smi
l
ing)y
ouwel
come.Mongezi
byt
heway"

Ihel
doutmyhandf
orahandshakeandshel
ookedati
tthenmeandst
ret
chedouther
's.

Her
:"Landi
swa"

Me:
"Ni
cet
ofi
nal
l
yseey
ou"

Shegav
emea.
look.Il
ookedatmywat
ch

Me:
"Ihav
etor
ush.Seey
ounextt
ime.

Ir
ushedt
othecarandgoti
nandl
ookedather
.

Ndaba:
"Wecar
ryon?
"

Me:
"(smi
rki
ng)Shei
stheone.Dr
ivet
omyhouse"

Thedr
ivernodedanddr
oveof
f.Mypl
ani
scomi
ngi
nmot
ion.

185
*
LANDI
SWA*

Ifeelt
heaur aoft
hisguyisspi
nechi
ll
i
nganditsnotagoodone.Itslikei haveseenhi
sface
somewher ebutidon'
tknowwher et
oputit
.Ifeelahandonmyshoul derandi j
umpans
scream becauseiwaslooki
ngatt
heblackSUVwithnoregi
sterpl
ate.Thati sweir
d.

Nkonzo:
"Shoul
dn'
tyoubei
nsi
de?
"

Il
ookeddown.

Me:
"Uhm sor
ry"

irushedinsi
dethebui
l
dingandwenttomydesk.Ist
artedatt
hebat
hroom andi
wentt
opee
beforegoingbackt
omyst at
ionandhewaswait
ingforme.

Nkonzo:
"Howi
smydaul
ooki
ng?
"

Me:
"youhav
eonemeet
ingat10:
30"

Nkonzo:
"Ok"

Me:
"theCV'
sihav
ereci
evedf
orAct
ingCEOandi
wil
lemai
lthem soy
oucanl
ooki
ntot
hem "

Nkonzo:
"wewi
l
llookatt
hem t
oget
her,
iDon'
tknowt
hesecooper
atest
uff"

i
nodded.

Me:
"yessi
r"

Hewal
kedt
othedoor.

Me:
"Nkonzo.
..
..
imeanMrMkhi
ze"

Het
urned.

Me:
"Howmanyl
i
veshav
eyout
aken?"

Idontknowwhyi
am aski
ngt
hatquest
ionbuti
am cur
ious.

Nkonzo:
"Youshoul
dn'
tknowt
hat
.Dontov
erst
epy
ourboundar
ies"

Me:
"Iam v
erysor
ry"

Nkonzo:
"St
ickt
owhaty
ouknowandi
wil
lst
ickt
owhati
know."

186
Hewalkedi
nsi
deandbangedthedoorandisatdownbreat
hingout
.Landi
sway
ouar
efowar
d.
Whyaskhimthat?Icar
ri
edondoingwhati
am paidfor
.

*
NKONZO*

ITookasmokewhi lelookingoutthewindow.IdontknowwhyLandi swawouldaskmethat

.I
don'
tseeitconcer
ningherhowmanypeopl eigavekil
led.Sheshouldst
icktoherj
ob
descr
ipt
ion.Itookthelastpuffbefor
ewal ki
nginsi
detheof f
iceandsatdownonmydeskand
myphoner ang.Ipi
ckedi tup.

Me:
"Boi
"

Muzi
:"Youatt
heof
fi
ce?"

Me:
"yeahmani
am "

Muzi
:"ok"

Me:
"yousoundof
f"

Muzi
:"i
wil
ltel
lyouwheni
gett
her
e.Justknowi
messedupbi
g"

Me"y
ouknowwegott
heMongezi
sit
uat
uony
oucan'
tpi
l
eupmor
epr
obl
ems"

Muzi
:"ei
shi
wil
ltel
lyouwheni
gett
her
e"

187
I
NSERTTWENTY-
EIGHT

*MONGEZI*

Ndabawal
kedi
nwi
thPal
esaf
oll
owi
nghi
m whi
l
eipour
efwhi
skyf
ormy
sel
fandshesatdown.

Pal
esa:
"Cany
out
ell
yourgoonet
oleav
emeal
one?
"

Me:
"Ndabal
eav
eus"

Ndaba:
"Iwi
l
lbeout
sidet
hedoor"

Inoddedandhewal
kedoutandcl
osedt
hedoor
.

Me:
"(dr
inki
ngwhi
sky)Howi
sitgoi
ng?
"

Shesmi
l
ed.

Pal
esa:
"Ispentt
heni
ghwi
thhi
m"

Me:
"Good.Iwi
l
lcal
lmyDrt
omakesur
ehi
ssper
mfer
ti
li
zesy
ouregg.

Pal
esa:
"Shoul
dnti
hav
easayi
nthat
.Idon'
twantachi
l
d"

Ibangget
het
abl
eandhel
dherf
ace

Me:
"Youwi
l
ldoadi
say
.Iowny
oubi
tch"

Il
etgoofherf
aceandsher
ubbedhercheeks.

Me:
"Getouti
wil
lcal
lyou.Iwi
l
ltr
ansf
eret
hemoneyaswel
l
."

Pal
esa:
"Mxm "

Igav
eheradeat
hst
areandshewal
kedoutandNdabagoti
n.

Ndaba:
"Tr
oubl
e?"

Me:
"Nahi
canhandl
eher
."

188
Isai
dgoi
ngt
osi
tdownonmychai
r.

*MUZI*

Igottot
heoff
iceandi wasner
vousethatiwillseeLandiswa.Indeedassoonastheel
evat
or
openedi
sawherandi gul
pedbefor
ewal ki
ngmywayt owar dsher.Sheli
ft
edherheadupand
shewant
edtosmilebutyoucanseeshei str
yingherhardestnotto.Iputt
herosesonthet
abl
e.

Me:
"Lum l
um "

Landi
swa:
"Mmmh"

Me:
"SugarPl
um "

Shesmi
l
edsobeaut
if
ull
yandmyhear
twar
med.

Landi
swa:
"Youknowy
oucan'
tchar
m me"

Me:
"Buti
justdi
d"

Landi
swa:
"Ican'
tbrbr
ibedbyf
lower
sbut(shet
ookt
hem )Thanky
ou"

Me:
"Il
ovey
ou"

Iwast
ryi
ngsomuchnott
ofeel
gui
l
ty.

Landi
swa:
"Il
ovey
oumor
e"

Shest
oodupandcamet
oki
ssmeandweshar
edasmal
lki
ssandi
brokei
tof
fandi
clear
edmy
thr
oat
.

Me:
"LetmecheckonNkonzo"

Landi
swa:
"Ok.Iam l
eav
ingwi
thy
ou."

Me:
"sur
eBaby"

Iki
ssedhercheekandi wal
kedi
ntheof
fi
ceandbewasont
hephone.Isatopposi
tehi
m and
wait
edforhi
mt ofi
nish.

189
Nkonzo:
"Yebobabangi
yakuzwa(YesDadi
heary
ou)"

Hesai
dandf
rownedabi
tandi
knowBabai
sbei
nghi
sdr
amat
icsel
f.

Nkonzo:
"Ok.Iam l
eav
ingt
hecount
ryi
naf
ewweekssodon'
twor
ry."

Hel
i
stenedagai
n.

Nkonzo:
"Iheary
ou.Ihav
etogo"

Hehungupaf
tert
hatandsi
ghed.

Me:
"Toughone"

Nkonzo:
"thi
sMongezi
issue.Hej
ustwant
sitdone."

Hepl
ayedwi
thhi
sst
ressbal
l
.Icl
ear
edmyt
hroat
.

Nkonzo:
"Khul
uma.Yi
nil
ehekudl
ayo?(
Tal
kwhat
seat
ingy
ouup?
)"

If
iddl
edwi
thmyf
inger
s.

Me:
"Ey
iit
sbadandi
didn'
tev
enmeant
odoi
t"

Nkonzo:
"justt
alk,
youknowi
geti
mpat
ientatt
imes."

Isi
ghed.

Me:
"Icheat
ed."

Nkonzo:
"onwho?"

Me:"OnLandi
swa.Mani
regr
eti
t.Iwasangr
yaty
ouandt
hewhol
eMongezi
thi
ngandI
tsj
ust
messedup"

Hechuckl
edwhi
l
eibur
ri
edmyheadi
nmyhands.

Nkonzo:
"wi
thwho?
"

Il
i
ftedmyheadandl
ookedathi
m.Hewasst
il
lsqueezi
nghi
sst
ressbal
l
.

Me:
"Huh?"

Nkonzo:
"iwon'
trepeatmy
sel
f.Wi
thwho?"

Me:
"Thatgi
rlf
rom t
hest
ri
pcl
ub"

Hechuckl
edl
i
kehewant
edt
olaugh.

Nkonzo:
"Youpl
ayi
ngr
ight?"

190
Me:
"Nah"

Nextt
hinghei
sbeati
ngthehel
loutofmeandt
hedooropensandLandi
swaRushesi
nwi
th
Noma.Ididn'
tknowshewasaround.

Noma:
"Nkonzo!"

Landi
swa:
"St
opy
ouar
egonnaki
l
lhi
m!"

Theypul
lhi
m upandi
spi
toutbl
ood.

Nkonzo:
"theygoty
oui
nthei
rtr
apandy
ouj
ustf
ell
fori
t.Howdumbcany
oube?
"

Landi
swar
ushedt
ome.

Landi
swa:
"Ar
eyouok?"

Nkonzo:
"Iam sodi
sappoi
ntedi
nyou"

Me:
"Iam sor
ry"

Nkonzo:
"nxx"

Hewal
kedout
.Il
ookedatLandi
swa.

Me:
"iam sor
ry"

Landi
swa:
"It
sok"

Shesmi
l
ed.

Landi
swa:
"Comel
etsgety
oucl
eanedup"

Shemademest
andupandwewentt
ogetmecl
eanedup.

*
LANDI
SWA*

Idon'tknowwhattheyeer
efi
ghti
ngaboutbutt
heywer efi
ghti
ng.Muziwasav oi
dingeye
contacteversi
ncewegother
eathishouse.It
oldMar t
inefonotcookbecauseiwill
cookbut
hehasbeenst ucki
nhisst
udythewhol
eday.Ifi
nishedupandi wenttohi
sstudyandknocked

191
ont
hedoorwhi
l
ehewasonhi
sphone.

Muzi
:"IknowBaba"

Hekeptqui
et.Il
eanedont
hedoorandj
ustl
ookedathi
m.

Muzi
:"YesBaba"

Hehungupandsi
ghed.

Me:
"fr
iendsf
ight
.Youwi
l
lbeok.Ev
ery
thi
ngwi
l
lwor
kout"

Hel
i
ftedhi
sheadbuthewasqui
et.Iwal
kedcl
osert
ohi
m andsatonhi
slap.

Me:
"Heyl
ookatme"

Hel
ookedatme.

Me:
"Il
ovey
ouok?
"

Heswal
l
owedandwr
appedhi
sar
msar
oundmywai
st.

Muzi
:"Il
ovey
out
ooLum l
um "

Il
eanedi
nandki
ssedhi
m buthebr
okei
tof
ffast.Di
didosomet
hingwr
ong?

Muzi
:"Ineedt
oli
edown."

Me:
"Letmedi
shupf
ory
ou"

Muzi
:"i
wil
leatl
ater
.Comel
etsgor
est"

Hepi
ckedmeupandhewal
kedoutofhi
sst
udyandwal
kedupt
hest
air
s.

*MADLAMI
NI*

Il
ookedatt
hewat
eri
nthebowel
andi
scat
ter
edt
hem wi
thmyhandsandi
satonmybum.

Me:
"Nt
ombi
lookaf
tery
oursi
ster
.Godl
ookaf
tery
ourchi
l
d.Thi
sisbad"

192
Il
ookeddownonemoreti
me.LandiswaneedsGodandneedst
obel
i
evei
nhi
m att
hemoment
.
Ical
l
edtheQueenandsheanswer
ed.

Queen:
"MaDl
ami
ni.Whatani
cesur
pri
se"

Me:
"MyQueeni
hav
eanask"

Queen:
"Any
thi
ngi
canhel
pwi
th"

Me:
"IneedTher
oyal
heel
ert
hissi
deandt
heKi
ng."

Queen:
"Whati
sgoi
ngon?
"

Me"Kubi
(it
sbad)Thebl
odshedt
hat
saboutt
ocomef
ort
htot
het
hrown."

Queen:
"Ohmygod.Iwi
l
ltel
lthem t
ocomeassoonaspossi
ble."

Me:
"Thanky
ou"

Shehungup.Isi
ghed.

I
NSERTTWENTY-
NINE

193
.

_
___
__

"Youki
l
ledhi
m ?"

Thef
acelessladysai
dwhi
lelooki
ngdownatthedeadbodyofaman.Hehadacr
ownont
opof
hi
m.Heturnedtheonewi
ththeGunandblooddrippi
ngfr
om hi
shands.

"Youshoul
dn'
tbeher
e.Isai
dleav
e"

Shewasshaki
ngandshemovedbackfr
om themanthatst
oodbef
oreher.Amonst
er.He
camefor
thwhil
epoi
nti
ngt
hegunatherandshecr
iedthenabangwasrel
eased.

_
___
_

Igaspedandopenedmyey es.I
twasli
keicoul
dn'
tbreat
hforasecond.Mybeatwasraci
ng.
Whoi st
hepersonthatNkonzokill
edandwhyam ihavi
ngdr
eamsofthiswomanwi t
hhim?

Muzi
:"Babyar
eyouok?"

Heopenst hesidel
amp.Hisf
inger
sandarmsmov
ear
oundandenci
rcl
esmynakedbodybut
st
il
liam shi
veri
ngandnotcal
mingdown.

Me:
"Itf
eltr
eal
"

Muzi
:"I
tsj
ustadr
eam."

Moansr
ingedi
nmyhead.Il
etgotofhi
m.

Me:
"Makei
tst
opMuzi
"

Muzi
:"Baby"

Me:
"St
opt
hemoansandgr
oans.Makei
tst
op"

Muzi
'snamewasinbet
weent
hosemoansanditwasn'
tmyvoice.Whati
sgoi
ngonif
eltl
ikei
wascrazy
.Tear
srol
l
eddownmyeyesandyoucoul
dseetheconcer
nandpani
cki
nhi
seyes.

Me:
"It
stoomuchpl
easest
op!"

Het
ookhi
sphoneanddi
aledsomeone.

Muzi
:"Shei
scr
yingher
eMahi
don'
tknowwhatt
odo."

194
Hel
i
stenedandt
hosev
oiceskeptpl
ayi
ngi
nmyhead.

"best
il
lmychi
l
d"

Onevoi
cesai
d.Muzi
tri
edt
otouchmebuti
tsl
i
ket
hev
oicesgotmor
eandmor
elouder
.I
scr
eamed.

Me:
"Maket
hem st
oppl
ease!
"

Muzi
:"Babyl
etmehol
dyou."

Me:
"NoJustmakei
tsst
op"

Themoansgotl
ouderandl
ouderandi
wasr
oll
i
ngont
hef
loor
.Iopenedmyey
esandi
saw
Ntombi
acrosst
heroom wavi
ng.

Nt
ombi
:"By
eLah"

Thatmanagai
nappear
edandSmi
rkedandshother
.

Me:
"Nt
ombi
!"

Itr
iedtogotoherbutMuzi heldme.I
tsli
kewhenheholdsmei am bur
ningandiseea
bedroom .I
nmyv i
sionandal adyonthebedbef
oreiam engul
fedbysomeoneandmyey esgo
backtonormalanditsNkonzo.Iholdontohim.Iwasshaking.Muziwaspacingupanddown.

Muzi
:"Fuck"

Nkonzo:
"weneedt
otakehert
ohergr
andmot
her
.May
besheknowsaboutt
his"

Me:
"(shaki
ng)Hei
scomi
ngf
orus.Hei
scomi
ng"

Muzi
:"Shi
tiam gonnaki
l
lMongezi
!!"

Hewal
kedoutoft
her
oom andNkonz
otr
iedt
oletmegobuti
didn'
t.

Nkonzo:
"iam gonnacar
ryy
out
othecar"

Me:
"theMoansandgr
oans.I
tfel
treal
"

Hecl
ear
edhi
sthr
oat.

Nkonzo:
"itwi
l
lbeok"

Tear
slef
tmyey
es.

Me:
"Nt
ombi
"

Muzi
cameback.

195
Muzi
:"Sengway
oisonhi
sway
.Ihav
etogo"

Nkonzo:
"Youcan'
tleav
eheri
nthi
sst
ate."

Muzi
:"y
eahst
ayher
ewi
thher"

Nkonzo:
"yougott
obeki
ddi
ngme.Dudewhatt
hef
uckshei
syourgi
rl!
!"

Heshout
ed.

Muzi
:"Iam gonnahandl
ethi
sonceandf
oral
l"

Nkonzo:
"nxy
eahr
epeaty
ourmi
staket
wice.Yeahgo"

Muzi
:"Fucki
wil
lgo"

Hewal
kedt
othecl
osetandt
henhecameoutdr
essedandhecameandki
ssedmyf
orehead.

Muzi
:"i
wil
lbebacknowLum l
um "

Nkonzo:
"Nx.Idon'
tknowwhat
sgoti
ntoy
ou"

Muzi
:"pl
easedon'
tst
art
.Getherdr
essed"

HewalkedoutandNkonzoplacedmeonthebedhewal
kedt
othecl
osetandcamebackwi
tha
bi
gtshi
rtandgotmedressedinit
.Iwasshaki
ng.

Nkonzo:
"Ineedasmoke"

Me:
"Pl
easebr
ingy
ourhands"

Helookedatmewei
rdandt
henbeoughtt
hem fort
h.Assoonaswet ouchedVisi
onsfl
ooded
andbloodwast
oomuchonhishandsandthi
sladykeptappear
ing.Iletgoandbreat
hedout.

Nkonzo:
"Youati
tagai
n"

Il
ookedathi
m andl
aidmy
selfi
nbed.Hesatnextt
omeforsometi
methent
ookof
fhi
sshoes
andgoti
nnexttome.Myshaki
ngsubsi
ded.Whydi
dMuzil
eaveme.?

Me:
"Am i
gonnadi
e?"

Hewassi
l
ent.

Nkonzo:
"No"

Hepul
l
edmet
ohi
m andi
froze.

Nkonzo:
"iam j
ustkeepi
ngy
ouwar
m."

Hepul
l
edmemor
ecl
oserandi
lai
donhi
schestandsl
ept
.

196
.

I
NSERTTHRI
TY

*MBALI*

Itwasabeaut i
fulsunnyday .YestheWeat herseemst obei nourf avourtodaymaki ngt hisevent
mor ebeautif
ul.Ev eryoneher eisinsmi l
esandal soIatt hesamet i
me.TheQueenmot her
l
ookssohappyt hatshei ssheddingaf ewt earsher einthereandi r
ubherback.Thehor nsSt ar
t
andweal l
standupandi glanceupt oMenzi .Hewi nksatmeandi bl
ushatt hemoment .Our
eyesturntot heredcar petandt heServantishol dingmyl i
t t
lebabygi r
lSphe.Shel ooksso
beautif
ulinthatwhi t
et utudr esswithpumpswhi lesuckinghert humb.Weal lgi
ggleandt hen
therealhornscomei n.Myey esscanar oundandt heylandonNkonzo.Idon' tknowwhybut
theylandedonhi m andi mov ethem totheper sonwear eher efor.Menzi pat
shisbr other's
shoulderastor eassurehi mt hatit
sallgood.Idon' twantt olie.Landi
swai sbeautiful.Mor e
beautif
ulinthatwhi tepr i
ncessgownt hatshei swear i
ng.Icoul dseet earsi
nherey esandshe
i
sshaki ng.Thecl oudsf or
m andt heskyi sgreyandnotbl ueagai n.Wear estil
lshockedbyt hat
whenSengway oscr eams.

Sengway
o:"Onl
yonewi
l
lremai
n!"

Wear eal
lconfusedasthet
hunderst
ormsst ar
ttofor
m.Mybabycri
esandiwannatakeher
butwearestoppedbymenwi t
hGunsi nthei
rhands.AMani
nblackwal
ksinwhil
echuckl
ing
andtakesouthisgunandai
msatMuzi andMenzi.

197
Hi
m:"Igoty
ouwher
eiwanty
ou"

Hethenpul
lst
het
ri
ggerbutt
henNkonzoj
umpsi
nfr
ontoft
hebul
l
etandpeopl
escat
ter
scr
eaming.

Me:
"Sphe"

I
twasal
lamessl
andi
swawasscr
eami
ng.

Landi
swa:
"Muzi
,Nkonzo!
"

Astheydi
sappear
edwit
hherandMuzi
tri
edt
oruni
nthedi
rect
ionofwher
eherv
oicei
scomi
ng
fr
om.IwenttoMenzi.

Me:
"Wher
eismybabyMenzi
?"

Iwasscar
edandwant
edmyl
i
ttl
egi
rlwi
thme.

Menzi
:"Theyt
ookher
.Iwi
l
lfi
ndher
."

Queen:
"Cal
lanambul
ance.Hei
sbl
eedi
ng"

Ki
ng:
"iam sor
ry,
hei
snomor
e"

Hewasref
err
ingtoNkonzo.Shecr
iedandy
oucanseet
hehur
tinMuzi
'sey
es.I
tst
art
edt
o
r
ainandt
hundermor
e.

_
___
_

Igaspedwhi
leopeni
ngmyeyesandMenzi
pul
l
edmetohi
schestandhel
dmeasi
cri
ed.He
rubbedmybackwhil
etr
yingt
ocal
m medownasi
wasshaki
ng.

Me:
"Sphesi
khul
u"

Menzi
:"Shei
sasl
eep.I
twasj
ustabaddr
eam "

Me:
"itf
eltsor
eal
.Theyt
ookourbabygi
rl
.Theyki
l
ledNkonzot
hey
..
..
.theyi
tsj
ustamess"

Hehol
dsmet
ight
ert
ohi
schest
.

Menzi
:"I
tsj
ustabaddr
eam "

Me:
"May
bey
ouar
eri
ghtbuti
tfel
treal
may
bei
shoul
dtel
lSengway
o"

Menzi
:"Hei
sgonet
oPr
etor
iabecauseLandi
swai
snotok"

Igotof
fhi
sgr
ip.

198
Menzi
:"Andt
hen?
"

Me:
"Landi
swa,
that
smypr
obl
em.Ev
er

Si
ncey
oubr
oughtheri
nourl
i
vesshei
sli
keev
ery
wher
e"

Menzi
:"i
apol
ogi
sedf
ort
hat,
babyi
thoughtwewer
epastt
hatnow"

Me:
"itdoesn'
tmeani
wil
lfor
getMenzi
"

Hehuf
fedandt
urnedt
heot
hersi
de.

Me:
"sowear
ejustgonnai
gnor
ethi
s?"

Menzi:
"Ihav
eanear
lymor
ning.Pl
easei
fyoudon'
tHav
eany
thi
ngbet
tert
odoi
suggesty
ou
keepqui
et"

Me:
"Ihat
eyou"

Menzi
:"Geti
nli
ne"

Hesl
eptaf
tert
hat
.Fucki
justwi
sht
oki
l
lthi
sLandi
swagi
rl
.Sher
uinedmyl
i
fe!

*MUZI*

Nkonzohasbeencal l
ingmesinceileftt
hehouseinsearchofMongezi andhet hr
eat enedt o
ki
llmei fidon'tcomebacksoi drovebacktothehouse.Ihatefeel
i
ngsousel ess.Itsmor ning
al
readyandi havebeenoutonthestreet
sandi don'
tevenknowwhati am doingatt hispoint.
Thissitt
ingaroundisnotmything.Igothomeandi sawacar.Theroy alcarandi knowt hat
Mom i shere.Iguessshefl
ewher ecauseitwasurgent.Igoti
nandLandi swawasonmy
mot her'
schest .Mom wasbrushingherhairandthenSengwayowal keddownt hestairsand
bowedbef oreme.

Sengway
o:"Yourhi
ghness"

Me:
"Sengway
o.Iam gl
ady
oucameasf
astasy
oucoul
d."

Sengway
o:"Wheny
oucal
l
.Ishoul
dli
ster
nyourhi
ghness."

199
i
nodded.Iwentcl
oset
oLandi
swasndsatnextt
oherandt
ouchedhercheek.

Me:
"Lum l
um "

Shesnif
fedbutshewasquiet
.Youcanseet
hatshewascr
ying.Ihopeshehasn'
tfoundout
thati
cheated.I
twasj
ustoneweakmomentright?Soi
tdoesn'treal
l
ycount.Ri
ght?

Me:
"Landi
swa"

Sengway
o:"wehav
ecal
l
edhergr
andmot
her
.Uy
ezauzosi
siza(shei
scomi
ngt
ohel
p)"

Me:
"whati
swr
ongwi
thher?
"

Sengwayo:
"Amadl
ozi
aki
ninoNkul
unkul
uay
amboni
sa(y
ouancest
orsandGodar
eshowi
ngher
vi
sions)
"

Me:
"About?
"

Sengway
o:"Thef
utur
e.Whati
sgonnahappenwi
tht
heThr
ownandherl
i
fe."

Queen:
"isi
tgonnahar
m her?
"

Me:
"yeah?"

Sengway
o:"wedon'
tknow.Wewi
l
lsee"

Thedooropenedandhergr
andl
othercamei
nwi
thNkonzo.

Me:
"Sawubonamah(hel
l
oMah)"

MaDl
ams:
"Hel
l
oev
ery
one."

Nkonzo:
"ihav
etol
eav
e."

MaDl
amscr
ouchedi
nfr
ontofLandi
swaandcar
ressedherf
ace.

MaDl
ams:
"Noy
ouar
eneededdon'
tleav
e.Thi
shasy
oubot
hini
t"

Landi
swasatup.

MaDl
ams:
"asambeNt
ombi
siy
obonakut
hiwani
(let
sgoandseewhati
ssai
d)"

Shehel
pedLandi
swaupandSengway
oescour
tedt
other
oom i
nthel
astcor
nerdownt
hest
air
s.

Sengway
o:"Takeof
fyourshoes"
.

Weallt
ookof
fourshoesandtheroom hadcandl
esli
tupandabi
gbowel
ofwat
erandi
ncense.
Al
otofshi
twasher
ethatidi
dn'tunder
stand.Weknel
tdown.

MaDl
ams:
"Wonkeumunt
ukumel
eahl
anzekengaphambi
kokut
hisi
qhubeke.(ev
ery
onemust

200
becl
eanedbef
orewecar
ryon.)
"

Shel
ookedatmet
henNkonzoandwebot
hlookeddown.

MaDl
ams:
"ineedt
opr
ickal
lofy
ourf
inger
s.I
fthewat
eri
sn'
tcl
eari
tsbecausey
ouknow"

I
tsl
ikeal
lshewassyi
ngwasdir
ect
edt
ome.Mom andLandi
swahadcl
earwat
er.Mi
net
urned
Bl
ackandNkonzo'
swasred.

Sheshookherhead.

MaDl
ams:
"Kubi
(It
sbad)
"

Mom :
"Cany
out
ell
uswhati
swr
ong?
"

MaDl
ams:
"ican'
tseepr
oper
lybut
..
..
..
"

l
andi
swast
art
edt
oshakewhi
l
elay
ingdown.Herey
eswentbackwar
ds.

Me:
"Landi
swa"

Sengway
o:"St
epback"

Me:
"St
epback?Shei
sdy
ing!
"

Nkonzo:
"Shei
snot"

Sengway
o:"dr
inkher
emf
ana"

Hehandedsomebr
ownsubst
ancef
orNkonzot
odr
ink.
hewasshaki
ng.

Nkonzo:
"ngi
ryt(Iam good)"

MaDl
ams:
"Ngi
zokusakazangempamaphuza(i
wil
lsl
apy
ou.Dr
inkher
e)"

Hi
svai
nswer
epoppoingoutandt
heywer
ebl
ack.Thi
swi
tchcraf
tthingi
scr
azyofi
tis.He
dr
anki
tandt
henlai
ddownandclosedhi
sey
es.Hewassti
ll
shaking.

MaDl
ams:
"Weart
hisi
tsf
orpr
otect
ion"

Shegav
emeabr
acel
et.

Me:
"Why?"

Sengway
o:"y
ouwi
l
lneedi
t.Yourhi
ghnesscany
ouexcuseus"

Me:
"Youwantust
oleav
e?"

MaDl
ams:
"Yes.Weneedt
obeal
one"

201
Mom :
"comeMuzi
"

Idi
dntl
iket
hisonebi
t.Igotupandwewal
kedoutcl
osi
ngt
hedoor
.Ij
usthopeev
ery
thi
ngwi
l
l
beok.

*MADLAMI
NI*

Ibr
eat
hedoutwhent
heywal
kedout
.

Sengway
o:"Wi
l
lhesur
viv
e?"

Me:
"Idontknow.Theyar
enotshowi
ngany
thi
ngt
ome.

Sengway
o:"Nami
ngokunj
alo(sameher
e)"

t
heyhav
est
oppedshaki
ngandi
takeoutt
heneckl
aces.

Me:
"Idon'
tthi
nkshewi
l
lunder
stand"

Sengway
o:"TheMkhi
zeancest
orsar
est
rongert
hant
heQwabe'
s.

Me:
"Butt
heyar
eroy
al"

Sengwayo:
"Chaakuy
i ngal
okho.Nani
bakwaDlami
nini
bambi
senenabo(noi
tdoesntgol
i
ke
that
.Al
sotheDl
aminiAncestor
sarest
rong)"

Me:
"let
scl
eanherst
omach"

Imadether
emedyt ocleanherstomach.Sengwayomadeonef orNkonzo.Imadeherdri
nk
andaft
erafewminutesshest ar
tedbl
eadingandi
cleanedherup.Shewassoundasl
eep.We
thenmadeabloodconvenientbetweenthem.

Sengway
o:"Let
shopet
heywi
l
ldef
eatt
het
hrownandot
hert
hings"

Me:
"Met
oo"

202
.

I
NSERTTHI
RTY-
ONE

*NKONZO*

Ifel
tmyheartispounding.Theskyi
sgreyaspeopl
earescr
eamingwhi
lescat
teri
ngaround.I
am notevensuremy sel
fwhatisgoi
ngon.Isitupf
rom t
hefl
oorandJustwatchaseverything
Vanishesandtur
nswhi t
eandi seeabr
ightl
i
ghtbef
oreiopenmyeyes.Isi
tupwhi l
egroaning
andLandiswa'sgrandmotherisbymysidei
nasecond.

MaDl
ams:
"Dr
inkt
his"

Thel
ookonherf
acei
sdar
ingmet
opr
otest
.Idr
inki
tupandt
hengi
vei
tbackt
oher
.

Me:
"Ihav
etogo"

MaDl
ams:
"Weart
hatNeckl
aceal
way
s."

Me:
"(l
ooki
ngati
t)ok"

Igetupandshakemyheadandwal
koutandl
ooksl
i
keev
ery
thi
ngi
sgr
eat
.

Me:
"Ihav
etobounce"

Muzi
:"Seey
oul
aterboy"

InoddedandLookedatLandi
swathenshookmyheadandi
wal
kedout
.Igoti
nmycarand
droveof
f.Myphonerangandiknewalr
eadywhoi
twas.

Me:
"baba"

203
Baba:
"Iam nothappy"

Me:
"It
hinknextweeki
wil
lbegoi
ngbackt
oPor
tugal"

Baba:
"butMongezi
isnotdef
eat
ed"

Me:
"Iwi
l
lcomebacki
fyouneedme."

Hesi
ghed.

Baba:
"fi
ne.Wedoneedy
oui
nPor
tugalany
way
."

Hehungupandi
tur
nedt
hest
eri
oup.

Af
ewday
spassed.

*
LANDI
SWA*

Eversi
ncemeget t
ingt hosetraumat i
csoundsi hav ebeenfeel
i
ngok.ThoughMuzi isact
ing
dif
fer
entwheni am aroundhi m andi tki
ndofwor ri
esme.Af ewday sl
eftbef
orei l
eavework
andprepar
et ostartschool.Tomor r
ow i meetingupwi thNkonzosowecanhav eourlast
sessi
onforthisITtutorial
.Ijusthopebyt onightafterall
oftheplanni
ngi haveformeandMuzi
tohaveanicedinnert ogethercomest oget
her.Idon'twantt ol
oosehimr eal
l
y .Iwasatwork
whentheelevatoropenedandi heardsomeshout ing.

Noma:
"MybestBi
tch,
Wher
eismybae!
?"

Ilookedatt
hedoorandi
twasopenandNkonzowasl
ooki
ngatus.Sheputt
hewi
nebot
tl
eon
thetabl
e

Me:
"Yohf
orapr
incessy
ousur
ecanmakenoi
se"

Noma:
"Mxm.Canwecel
ebr
ate"

Me:
"What?"

204
Noma:
"Idon'
tknow.Justnj
e"

Me:
"Youbor
ed"

Noma:
"Youhav
enoi
dea"

Wel
aughedandNkonzocameout
.

Nkonzo:
"Ihav
etobesomewher
e"

Noma:
"Ouuhheyy
oul
ongt
ime"

Hechuckl
edandhuggedNomaandi
fel
tapangofJeal
ousy
.Ishoul
dn'
tfeel
thatway
.Il
ove
Muzi
.

Nkonzo:
"St
il
lbeaut
if
ul.Howabouti
takey
out
odi
nnert
oni
ght?
"

Noma:
"Can'
tsaynot
othat"

Shepoppedt
heChampai
gnbot
tl
eopen.Nkonzowal
kedaway
.Mymoodj
ustwentdown.

Noma:
"(dr
inki
ngf
rom t
hebot
tl
e)sov
elewheni
sMuzi
mar
ryi
ngy
ourass?
"

Me:
(laughed)i
don'
tknow"

Noma:
"Iam sohappyy
oh.Kodwachomi
youar
ebor
ing"

Me:
"Hawungani
manj
e(Wi
thwhat?)"

Noma:
"Youar
enotev
endr
inki
ngwi
thme.Mxm l
etmegoandv
isi
tAmanda"

Shet
ookherbagandi
laughed.

Me:
"sayhi
toherf
orme"

Noma:
"Shar
p"

Shewalkedoffandijustl
aughedandcar r
iedonwi thmywork, Theelev
atoropenedagainanda
guyi
nar edgolftshi
rtandaredcapwi t
hbl ackChinosandsneakerscamemywayhol ding
fl
ower
sandsomet hi
ngelse.Hestoppedinfrontofme.

Guy:
"Del
i
ver
yforMsLandi
swa"

Me:
"Thatwoul
dbeme"

Hegav
emeacl
i
pboar
dtosi
gnandt
her
ewasaboxt
oo.Iwasscar
edt
oopeni
t.

Guy:
"Hav
eagoodday"

Me:
"Thanky
ou"

205
Hewal kedof
f.Isatdownanddidn'
tevenlookatalloft
hatbutiwascur
ious.Maybeishoul
d
fi
ndthecardfi
rstandifi
tswr
it
tensomethi
ngi don'
tknowt heni
won'topen.Igoti
nthejungl
e
ofrosesandiopenedit.

*
***
Rosesar
ered,
Viol
etsar
ebl
ue.Iam notgoodi
npoet
rybutDi
mondsar
emyGr
oov
e**
***
.

Il
aughed.That
sbad.Iopenedt
heboxandi
thaddi
amondear
ings.Theyar
esobeaut
if
ul.

Me:
"NcoohMuzi
kodwa"

Isawanot
hernot
eandt
ooki
t.

*
**Fr
om Mongezi
**

Ncoohi
appr
eci
atet
hem t
hought
heyar
etoomuch.Myphonest
art
edr
ingi
ngandi
tooki
t.

Me:
"Hel
l
o"

"Heyi
tsMongezi
"

Me:
"Howdi
dyougetmyphonenumber?"

Mongezi
:"Ihav
emyway
.Ij
ustsawt
hosedi
amondear
ingswer
egonnacompl
ementy
ou"

Me:
"Youshoul
dn'
thav
eit
stoomuchandwhatwi
l
lmyboy
fri
endsayaboutt
his"

Hechuckl
ed.

Mongezi
:"Tel
lhi
mit
shi
scompet
it
ion."

Il
aughed.

Me:
"Wow"

*PALESA*

IhatehowMongezii
sdict
ati
ngmyli
featt
hemoment.Iam l
ayi
ngonthebedast
heDri
sdoi
ng
thescanandl
ooksatthi
smachi
ne.Arghiam t
oangr
ytoevenl
ookati
t.

Dr:
"yepshei
spr
egnant
.Oneweek"

206
Mongezi
:"(cl
apshands)Wonder
ful
.Nowl
etswai
tti
l
lyou4mont
hs"

Me:
"Whati
fimi
scar
rybef
orehand"

Hehel
dmyf
acesqueezi
ngi
tthati
scr
eamedcausei
twassor
e.

Mongezi
:"Youwon'
tlett
hathappenar
ewecl
ear?
"

Hesai
dthr
oughhi
steet
h.

Me:
"Yes"

Hel
etgoofmyf
aceandat
eardr
oppedf
rom i
t.

Mongezi
:"Wi
pet
hatf
aceandgetany
thi
ngy
ouneed.Makesur
eyoudon'
tlooset
hisbaby"

Inodded.

Mongezi
:"Good."

Hewalkedout
.Thi
smani
ssoev
il
.Ij
ustcr
ied.Idi
dthi
sonmyown.Iwi
pemyt
ear
sand
f
oll
owedoutaswel
l.

*
MUZI*

Iwasstandi
ngbythewi
ndowont
hePhonewi
thMenzi
asi
wasst
il
li
nfor
minghi
m aboutt
he
Mongezisit
uat
ion.

Me:"
wehav
ingmi
xedemot
ionsaboutt
his.If
eel
li
keLandi
swacanf
eel
thatt
hisi
sgonnabea
mess"

Menzi
:"Yesmay
be."

Ther
ewassi
l
ence.

Menzi
:"(si
gh)Howi
sshe?
"

Me:
"Idon'
tthi
nki
tswi
set
ospeakeaboutmygi
rl
fr
iendatt
hemoment"

207
Menzi
:"Iam sor
ry.Iwasj
ustaski
ng"

Me:
"It
sgood.Iwi
l
lcomedownnextweekendt
ojustseehowt
hingsar
e"

Menzi
:"Yeahandmay
becomeupwi
thapl
anonhowt
ohandl
ethi
ssi
tuat
uon"

Me:
"Yeahl
ooki
hav
etogo"

Menzi
:"shot
s"

Hehungupandipressedmyheadont hewindow.Thi
s,Thi
siseat
ingmeupdaybydayev
ery
minut
eil
ookatLandiswa.Thedooropened.

Nomonde:
"Si
r,MsLandi
swacal
l
edmet
oinf
ormy
out
hatshei
sready.
"

Me:
"Thanky
ou"

Shewal
kedout.Ineedtojustf
orgetaboutthi
s.Iturnedandtookmythi
ngsandiwal
kedout
andwentt
omycart ofetchLandiswa.Igottomybrother
'scompanyandshewaswait
ingf
or
me.Igotoutandwenttokisshercheekandsheblushed.

Me:
"Youl
ookbeaut
if
ul"

Landi
swa:
"Thanky
ouGumede"

Sheperkemyli
psandiopenedthedoorf
orherandshegoti
nandigoti
nmysideanddroveof
f.
SheopenedsomesongsandplayedNewedit
ion,Canyoustandt
herai
nandsangt
oit.Sheis
sobeauti
ful
whensheblushes.

Landi
swa:
"Causei
needsomebody

Whowi
l
lst
andbyme.

Thr
ought
hegoodt
imesandbadt
ime

Youwi
l
lal
way
s,al
way
sber
ightt
her
e

Sunnyday
s,ev
ery
bodyl
ovest
hem

Tel
lmebabycany
oust
andt
her
ain

St
ormswi
l
lcome.

Thi
sweknowf
orsur
e

Cany
oust
andt
her
ain?
"

Isweart
hiswomanl
ovesol
dschool
musi
csomuch

208
Me:
"Wer
eyoubor
nin1910?
"Shepl
ayf
ull
ypushedme"

Landi
swa:
"Youar
efor
war
dyouknow"

Il
uaghed.Wegott
omyhouseandgotout
.

Me:
"Iwonderwhaty
oudoi
ngf
ormet
oni
ght?
"

Landi
swa:
"Al
otoft
hings.IhopeMar
ti
ncookedcausei
am t
ir
ed"

Me:
"Yes"

Icamecl
oset
oherandhel
dherwai
standki
ssedherneckandshegi
ggl
ed.

Landi
swa:
"HaahMuzi
let
sgochangeandwat
chamov
ie"

Me:
"Buti
wantust
ost
arrourownMov
ie"

Isai
dper
kingherl
i
ps.

Landi
swa:
"WhatMov
ie?"

Shesaodwi
thaSmi
rk.

Me:
"Fi
ft
yshades"

Ipi
ckedherupandshegi
ggl
ed.

Landi
swa:
"Ohmygod"

Me:
"Your
eady?"

Ikissedherneckandsuckedoni
tandshehel
dmyheadwhi
l
eiwenti
ntot
hebedr
oom and
placedheronthebed

Landi
swa:
"Yes"

Herbr eathi
ngescal at
edasi kissedheenecksl owlywhilemyhandsunderhert optowher eher
braisandi gobackt oherli
psandki ssherwhi l
eunhoockingherbr a.Thet winsaresetfreeand
arereadyf ormet odevour.Iputmycol dhandsunderherandt heymov etohertwinsandi
squeezesof tl
yandshemoansi nmymout handi tmakesmybl oodrushhear i
nghersweet
moan.It akeof fhert
opandherpant sandi ki
ssherbellyal
l t
hewayt oherbreast
sandi kiss
thenbot handsuckonherper kynipplesandt wir
lmyt ongueont hem asmyf i
nger
sgodownher
waistandt rai
ltoherlacyunderwearandt heysli
pt oherneatl
yshav edNooki e.Asoftmoan
escapesherl i
psandshehol dsont oghtertothesheetsasi sl
ipi nmyf i
rstfi
ngerandslowly
mov eitinsideher .Hereyesfli
pbackandshet akesabi ggaspandt ightenshergri
pont he
sheets.

209
Landi
swa:
"OhMuzi
"

IKi
ssherl
i
psandsheki
ssmebackbuty
oucant
ell
byt
hesweetsqui
rmst
hatshewant
sto
moan.

Landi
swa:
"Mmh"

Shebi therbot tom li

pseductiv
elymaki ngmewantt obeinsi
deheralr
eadyatthismomentbuti
holdmy self.Icanfeelhergett
ingmor ewetbyt hesecondandthepressur
efrom her.Her
breathingbecomesheav i
erandt henshel et
sitgoandcums.Ipulloutmyf i
ngersandi goand
takeat owel andiwipeher.Shei str
yingtocatchherbreat
handi t
akemycl othesoffasmy
dickist hrobbingandshout i
ngt obeinher .Igetcl
osertoherandshesitsupbuti pul
lherby
herlegsabi troughlyanditurnherar oundandholdherhandsandspankherassandshe
giggl
ed.

Landi
swa:
"Mmmh"

Me:
"Youl
i
ket
hat?"

Shenodsandispankheroncemoreandshecri
esinamoanandi
rubmydi
ckonherandshe
moansthenient
erherwhenshel
eastexpect
edi
t.

Landi
swa:
"Muzi
slowdowni
tssor
e"

Idon'
tsl
owdownbuti
ncr
easemypaceasi
hol
dherhai
r.

Landi
swa:
"Muzi
!"

Shepushesme.

Me:
"Andt
hen?"

Landi
swa:
"Youar
ehur
ti
ngme"

Me:
"iam sor
rybaby
."

It
urnherar
oundandki
ssherneckandi
slam i
nhersl
owl
yandi
godeeper
.

Me:
"Fuck!
"

Icur
seandi
ncr
easemypaceabi
t.

Me:
"(ki
ssi
ngherback)Lum l
um i
lov
eyou"

Landi
swa:
"Mmmhmygody
es"

Imovedmyhandsfr
om herhairandwenttoherwai
standiincr
easedmypacesl
ammi ngi
nto
her.
.shecametwi
ceandichangedherposti
ti
ontomissi
onaryandpul
l
edhertotheedgeandi

210
goti
nher
.

Me:
"igoty
ou"

Shewasn'
tev
enl
i
ster
ningt
omeast
hepl
easur
ehasconsumedher
.

*LANDI
SWA*

Ij
ustwanttofi
rstof
fsaythatiam glowi
ngandmosthappyatthi
smoment .Muzi
istreatingme
sogoodthaticansaynothi
ngisgonnastopourloveatt
hemoment.Iwokeupear l
i
ert hanhim
andki
ssedhischeekbeforeiwenttobathandthencl
eanedupandwentdownthestair
st o
makebreakf
astwheni f
oundMar t
in.Igr
eetedhim.

Me:
"Goodmor
ningMar
ti
n"

Mar
ti
n:"Goodmor
ningMam "

Me:
"iwasgonnamakebr
eakf
atbuti
seey
ouar
eoni
t"

Mar
ti
n:"v
erwel
lmam "

Me:
"Ok.LetmegowakeupMuzi
"

Iwalkedupthest
air
s.I
tsawkwardhav
ingaconv
ersat
ionwi
thMar
ti
n.Igoti
nthebedr
oom and
gotontopofMuziandsatonhi
m.

Me:
"Baby"

Hewassi
l
ent
.Iki
ssedhi
sli
ps.

Me:
"Babyv
uka"

Muzi
:"mmmhl
um comebackt
obed"

211
Me:
"Buti
promi
sedGogoi
wil
lbebackhomeby9.Ineedt
ohel
pherhome"

Hegr
oaned.

Muzi
:"doy
our
eal
l
yhav
etogo?"

Me:
"Youar
egoi
ngwi
thNkonzot
oPor
tugal
foraf
ewday
sso"

Muzi
:"Ar
ghi
wil
lcancel
"

Me:
"don'
tbel
i
ket
hat"

Heopenedhi
sey
esf
inal
y.Iper
kedhi
sli
ps.

Me:
"Youar
ecut
e"

Muzi
:"That
sgay
ish"

Il
aughedandhegotupwhi
l
epi
cki
ngmeup.

Me:
"Putmedownandl
etmecl
eanher
e"

Muzi
:"y
esMr
sMe"

Heki
ssedmycheekandputmedownandhel
dmywai
st

Muzi
:"i
hopemysper
mreachesher
eoneday"

Me:
"Itwi
l
l"

Heki
ssedmycheek.

Muzi
:"Il
ovey
ou"

Me:
"Il
ovey
oumor
e"

Wesharedapassionat
eki
ssandilethim goandhewentt obat
h.Icl
eanedupt
hebedroom
andhegotoutandhewenttotheclosetandhegotdressedandwewentdownthest
air
stoeat
.
Wefini
shedandwashedthedi
shesandi helpedhi
m packup.

Muzi
:"Doy
ouhav
etogo?
"

Me:
"Yesandweneedt
obuypi
l
ls"

Muzi
:"Iwi
l
lpayl
obol
awheni
comebacksol
etmysper
mfi
ndi
tsgoal
"

Me:
"Ay
i"

Hechuckl
ed.

212
Muzi
:"Youknowi
lov
eyour
ight?"

Me:
"Iknow."

It
urnedtohim andweki
ssedtheni
tookmybagandt henwewal kedout.Wegottohi
scarand
hedrovemehomeanddr oppedmeoff.Iam gonnamisshi
mt hesef ewday
swhil
eheisgone.
Iwalkedi
nthehouseandgogowascleani
ng.Shelookedatherwrist.

Gogo:
"It
s10am.I
sonaSkhat
hiov
ukangaso(I
sthi
sthet
imey
ougetupat?
)"

Me:
"sor
ryi
am l
ate.Iwi
l
lchangei
ntosomet
hingmor
ecomf
ort
abl
e."

Igott
ot hebedroom andiwenttochangeandiwor
eadr essthatr
eachesmyknees.I
twashot
soiwant edsomethi
nglooseandfl
opsandi ti
edmyhairint
oabunsnfi wal
kedoutandhel
ped
gogoclean.ShehadtobeatChurchat11.Iwasnowcookingandshewasdonebat hi
ng.

Gogo:
"Yourt
hingi
sonmybed"

Shemeansl
apt
op

Me:
"okt
hank.Wamuhl
eboh(y
ouar
esobeaut
if
ul)"

Gogo:
"iwantt
oshowt
hatMaMf
undi
sii
sti
l
lgoti
t"

Il
aughed.

Me:
"Andy
ounev
erl
osti
t."

Gogo:
"letmegetgoi
ng."

Sheki
ssedmycheekandshewal kedout
.Thehouseseemedempt
y.Imi
ssedNt
ombi,she
woul
dbemakingcutenoiseatt
hemoment .Ther
ewasaknockatt
hedoorandi
wentt
oopen
andi
teasNkonzo.Imovedoutoftheway.

Me:
"Goodday"

Nkonzo:
"Hi
"

Ther
ewassi
l
ence.Hi
sper
fumeMi
xedwi
thNi
cot
inef
il
ledourwhol
ehouse.

Me:
"letmegoswi
tchof
fthest
oveandt
henwecanst
art"

Nkonzo:
"Sur
e"

Me:
"Woul
dyoul
i
keany
thi
ngt
odr
ink?
"

Nkonzo:
"Noi
am f
ine"

Inoddedandi
wentt
oswi
tchof
fthest
oveandi
wentt
otaket
hel
apt
opofGogo'
sbedandi

213
wentt
othel
ounge.Isatdownandheputahar
ddr
iveandusbont
het
abl
e.

Me:
"Wear
egonnauset
hatt
oday?"

Nkonzo:
"Noi
wil
ltel
lyoul
ateronwhatt
hisi
sfor"

Me:
"ok."

Igav
ehi
mthel
apt
op.

Nkonzo:
"Wecan'
tsi
topposi
teeachot
herl
i
ket
hat
.Youneedt
oseet
hispr
oper
ly"

Isi
ghef.Igotupandsatnextt
ohi
m andhecar
ri
edont
eachingme.I
twasbet
tert
hatwayandi
askedhim al
otofquest
ions.Wewer
enowdoneandhestoodup.

Me:
"Gogowi
l
lki
l
lmei
fshehear
syouar
eleav
ingwi
thouteat
ing"

Hechuckl
ed.

Nkonzo:
"Oki
tsf
ine"

Inoddedandgotupandt
henwentt
odi
shupf
orhi
m sndmy
sel
f.Wesatdownandi
star
tedt
o
eatwholehewasn'
t.

Me:
"Ar
eyouok?
"

Nkonzo:
"It
sjusti
hadadi
stur
bingdr
eam abouty
oul
astni
ght"

Me:
"Whatwasi
tabout?
"

Nkonzo:
"Icoul
dntseecl
ear
lybuty
ouwer
esoakedi
nbl
ood"

Iputmyf
ooddownanddr
ankmywat
er.

Me:
"Br
ingy
ouhands"

Hechuckl
ed.

Nkonzo:
"Doy
ouev
enknow howt
ouseordowi
thy
ourpower
s?"

Me:
"Mxm.Yesi
can.Iam pl
ayi
ngi
can'
tbuti
twon'
thur
ttot
ry"

Nkonzo:
"Iam sur
e"

Heplacedhishandsonmineandiclosedmyey esandisawAgr eenbigfi

eldwi
thhi
mint he
middle.Hewassmili
ngandthi
swomanr antohim .Heputhi
sbagdown.Hewasi nanav ybl
ue
unif
orm wit
hbadgesandhetookoffhishat.Heseemedl i
kethoseagent
sfrom t
henav
yand
stuf
f.ThewomanJumpedi nhisarmsandhespunherandt heyshar
edakissandmyey es
wentbaccktonormal.

214
_
___
_

Nkonzo:
"Uhm wow"

Me:
"Whatdi
dyousee?
"

Nkonzo:
"Justgr
eenf
iel
dyou?"

Me:
"Isawy
ouandsomewoman.Youguy
slookedhappyandi
nlov
e"

Iwasinmythought
stheni
lookedathi
m.Myphonedi
stur
bedusandi
twasamessagef
rom
anunknownnumber.

*
***
Keepwat
chofy
ourman.Hemi
ghtsl
i
paway*
***
*

Il
ookedati
tconf
used.

Nkonzo:
"Youok?"

Me:
"Someonesentmeamessage."

Nkonzo:
"Cani
tracei
t,t
henumber?"

Me:
"Uhm sur
e"

Igav
ehi
m myphoneandhedi
dhi
sthi
ngandheputi
tont
het
abl
e.

Nkonzo:
"It
sunt
raceabl
e"

Me:
"May
bei
shoul
dtal
ktoMuzi
"

Nkonzo:
"May
be.Ihav
etogo.Pl
easekeept
hesesaf
eforme.Guar
dthem wi
thy
ourl
i
fe"

Heputt
hedr
iveandusb.

Me:
"oki
wil
l"

Hest
oodupandi
didt
ooandi
wal
kedhi
mtot
hedoor
.

Nkonzo:
"ohandonemor
ethi
ngaboutt
hat"

Iwasbehindhi
m andhet ur
nedtoof astthatwewer einchesaway.Ilookedathim masteri
ng
hi
sfaceandthenhiseyesandi f
elttenderl i
psonmi ne.Myhear twasbeatingfastandifound
mysel
fclosi
ngmyey esandbeingonmyt oesandhol dingontohisneckwhilehi
sstrongarms
werear
oundmywai st.Thekissl
astedsol ongthatitsendedchil
l
sdownmyspi neandi f
eltl
ike
mylegswerewobbly.Hepickedmeupbef or
ei coul
dl oosemybalanceandi moanedasi ff
elt
hi
shardonandhegr oaned.

215
.

*NKONZO*

Iturnedandshewasr i
ghti nfrontofme.I nchesawayf r
om meandmyi tcht
ogr abherand
bringhercl oset omewast here.Iheldherwaistasmyl ipswer eonhertenderlips.Theywer e
j
ustper fectandi suckedont hebot t
om andmyhear twasbeat i
ngfast.Mybloodr ushed
throughmyv ainsvigorouslyi nawayi couldn'tunder st
and.Sher epl
iedtomyki sswhi chmade
i
tmor eheat edandmor eyearnfull
.Icouldfeel hergetti
ngweakandsoam i byjustasi mple
kissbuti pickedherupandki ckedt hedoorclosedandpl acedheront hecouch.Myl i
psstil
l
l
ockedherher .Herhandsr unt hroughmyr oughhai randmi newentunderheryellowsummer
dress.Theyt r
yt onavigatetheirwayandf indherunder wear .Iki
ssherneckandhergor geous
cli
v agethatf r
omedwhi l
eshei slyingonthecouchandi thengounderherdr essandpr essmy
tongueonherFl ower.Shemoansandhol dsmyhead.Ipul li
toffwit
hmyt eethandl ookather
asherey esar eclosedandi gobackdownandmyt onguet ouchedherfl
owerandi suckedon
hercl i
twhilepar ti
ngherl egsandhol di
ngthem downsoshewon' tsquir
m.Myt onguesl i
dsin
herDi ckholeandi tonguef uckherandshest artstosqui r
m andmoansosweet l
y.

Landi
swa:
"FuckAhhh"

Sher eacheshercl i
maxbuti pul
lbackandst opbeforeshecancum andi lookatherashasa
frown.Ichuckl eandigobackdownandi ki
ssherflowerandslidmyf i
ngeri nandlookather
facialexpressions.Iwanttoseehowshel ookswhenshecumst hrought hewonder sofwhat
myf i
ngerscando.If i
ngerherandf eelherwar mthnessandherbodyst i
ffenandi kissher
cheekbutshehol dsmyf aceandweshar eakiss.Apassionateyetroughoneandshecums
squirti
ng.It akeherunder wearandcleanherupandweshar eanotherkiss.Mybloodi sboil
ing
andmyv ainsar epopping.Iam y ear
ningf orhert
oanext i
nctthatmybodyaches.Ipul lherup
tomeandi kissheroncemor eandsher espondsqui etwellwhi
lei t
rytounbucklemypant s
andgett hej obdone.Shi tthecondomsi don'thavethem here.

Me:
"Wecan'
tdot
his"

Shepul
l
smet
owar
dsher

Landi
swa:
"Ohmygod!
"

Me:
"Fuck!
"

Shehasinser
tedmydi
cki
nher
.Ist
art
edt
omoveandgoddamnherpussywall
sarehol
ding
mydicksogoodandit
ssowar
m.Ihol
dherl
egupandunzi
pthebackof
fherdr
essandi
tgoes

216
t
oherwai
standihol
dsqueezeherbreastwhi
l
eimov
einsi
deofher
.Shei
shol
dingmet
ight
ly
whi
l
emoaningbymyear.Ikissherneck.

Landi
swa:
"Yes"

Ist
opmov ingandicar r
yhert
othebedr
oom andlayheronthebedandipul
loutandcl
osethe
doorit
akeoffmyclothesandwearebothnaked.Ihav
etast
edherandiwantmoreofher.Igot
ontopofherandposi
tionedmysel
fandiwenti
nslowlyinherandshedughernai
lsi
nmyar ms.

Landi
swa:
"ohy
ouar
esobi
g"

Herey
esr
oll
backandi
kisshersmal
ll
ipsandsher
espondswhi
l
eimov
einher
.

Me:
"Shi
t,Youar
esowar
m.Ahh"

Isai
dincr
easi
ngmypaceandki
ssedherf
orehead.

Landi
swa:
"OhMyGodNkonzo"

Me:
"Mmmh"

Iwentdeeperandpumpedhar
deri
nherandshewentcr
azyandmoaned.

Landi
swa:
"Ohmygody
esy
es."

Me:
"Fucki
lov
eyouLandi
swaDl
ami
ni"

Iper
kedherl
i
ps.

Landi
swa:
"(l
ooki
ngatme)Il
ovey
out
oo.NkonzoMkhi
ze"

Thatsat
isf
iedmyhear
tandmademepumphermor
eandmakemor
esweetl
ovet
oher
.

Landi
swa:
"mmmmhmy!
"

Shegaspedandi
kissedherf
orehead.Il
ovewat
chi
ngher
.

I
NSERTTHRI
TY-
TWO

217
Tearsjustl
eftmyey es.Ohmygodt hisoneofthebi
ggestbet
rayal
icoulddot
oMuzi .Howwi l
li
l
ookathi m nowt hatihavesleptwit
hhisbestf
ri
end.Heconsi
dershim asabr
other.Itj
ustal
l
happenedtof astandi hav
enev erfeltt
hatwayandsoconnectedtosomeonebutitall
feel
sso
wrong.Het ri
est ocomecl oserbutimov ebackandasharpsobescapesmyl ips.

Me:"Weshoul
dn'
thav
edonet
hatNkonzo.Youar
ehi
sbest
fri
end.Iam hi
sgi
rl
fr
iend.We.
..
.we
bet
ray
edhi
m."

HegetsCloserandpul
l
smet ohi
snakedchest
.Gogoist
heleastofmyworr
iesbecauseshei
s
comingbackonMonday .HerChurcht
hingi
sgoingt
obestr
etchysoshei
sgonnasleepata
fr
iendsthengotochur
chagai ntomorr
ow.

Hi
sar
mswr
apar
oundmeandmyt
ear
swethi
schest
.

Nkonzo:
"ishoul
dn'
thav
eki
ssedy
ou.Iam sor
ry"

Me:
"Iwon'
tbeabl
etol
ookathi
m"

Hi
sphoneri
ngsandhestr
etchest
otakei
tfr
om hi
spantsandi
tFl
ashesMuzi
.Myhear
tbeat
s
f
astandNkonzol
ooksatmeandkissesmyfor
ehead.

Nkonzo:
"Iwi
l
lhandl
eitdon'
twor
ry"

Heansweresandput
sitonl
oudspeakerandlay
sbackanfpull
smet ohischest
.It
sthose
ar
msi f
indcomforti
nwhenishoul
dber unni
ngawayf
rom hi
m aft
erwhatwedid.

Nkonzo:
"Ndoda"

Hesay
swi
thaf
ir
mvoi
ce.

Muzi
:"Thepl
anei
sleav
ingi
n10Mi
nut
es.Ar
eyoucomi
ng?
"

Nkonzo:
"Iam l
eav
ingt
omor
row.Ihav
esomet
hingsi
needt
ofi
xbef
orei
leav
ethecount
ry"

Muzi
:"ohok.Iwi
l
lcal
lyouwheni
landi
nPor
tugalt
hen"

Nkonzo:
"Mydr
iverwi
l
lbet
her
etot
akey
out
omyhousewheny
oul
and"

Muzi
:"Sur
ethi
ng.Hopeev
ery
thi
ngget
ssor
ted"

Nkonzohangsupandi
justcr
y.

Nkonzo:
"Shhh"

Me:
"Hei
sgonnaki
l
lus"

Nkonzo:
"nohewon'
t.Whathedoesn'
tknowwon'
thur
thi
m.Justl
i
key
ou"

Me:
"Whatdoy
oumeanl
i
keme?"

218
Nkonzo:
"For
geti
sai
dany
thi
ng"

Ther
ewassi
l
enceandourhear
tswer
ebeat
ingsol
oud.

Nkonzo:
"Iknowi
bet
ray
edMuzi
butwhydoesi
tfeel
goodt
ohav
eyoul
ayi
ngonmychest?"

Isatup.

Me:
"Youshoul
dleav
e"

Nkonzo:
"(si
tt
ingup)I
'
m so.
..
..
."

Me:
"Pl
ease"

Henoddedandhest oodupandstart
edtogetdressed.Iwatchedhim.Whyam i f
eel
ingl
i
kehe
shouldn'
tleav
e?Whyam i f
eel
ingli
kethi
s.Landiswalookawaypl easecausemybloodi
s
gett
ingwarmerjustbylooki
ngathim.Hewor ehistshi
rtandtookhiscarkeys.

Nkonzo:
"By
e"

Me:
"(sof
tl
y)By
e"

Hewal kedout.Ihear dthedoorcl osebutt hecarnot hing.Whyam i feeli

ngsuffocatedashe
l
eft.Ishoul dn'tbef eel i
ngl ikethi
sf ormyBoy fri
end'sbest fr
iend.Igotof fthebedandi woremy
gownandsl i
pper s.Myhai rwasr oughandi didn'tcar e.IpassedourFoodt hatmusthav ebeen
coldatt hemomentandi gotoutandi couldst il
lseehi sGr eyAudi Q5st il
lparkedupfront.The
poeopl eher eatthet ownshi paremesmer i
zedbyi t.Igochecki fheisinsideandhei snot.I
wentt ot hebackcauset hat sall
ithoughtaboutandi sawhi ml eaningont hebananat r
eewhi l
e
havingasmoke.Ibi tmybot tom l
ip.Godpl easef or giveme.Ipr omisei willr
epenttomor row
buttodayt hedamagei sal readydone.Iwal kedsl owl ycl osertohim andt hesmel lofhis
perfumeandNi cotinei staki ngmeaway .Ijustlovei tfornor easonatal l
.Istandbehindhi m
andj ustlookathi m andhehasat attooonhi sar m.I tsv i
sible.Muzidoesn'thav eanybut
Nkonzo' saret ur
ningmeonsomehow.It hinkhef eltmypr esencecausehet urnedaroundand
l
ookedatmewi t
honehandi nhi
spocketandt heot herhei ssmoki ngwi th.Ilookdownashi s
eyesar epei rcingt hr oughme.Het hrowshi sKentCi garetteandhel etsoutapuf fandlooksat
mewi thbot hhishandsi nhi spocket.Iam ner vousandi don'tknowwhybuthehasal way s
mademener voussi ncet hedayhecame.

Nkonzo:
"I
sther
esomet
hingwr
ong?"

Ibi
temybot
tom l
i
pandt
ear
sst
reameddownmyey
es.Hecamecl
oser
.

Nkonzo:
"Ukhal
elani
?(whyar
eyoucr
ying?
)"

Ij
ustbur
stedi
ntoacr
yandthrewmy
sel
fathi
m andhuggedhi
m.Hewasst
il
li
nthesame
posi
ti
onashewasstandi
ng.

219
Me:
"Idon'
tknow.Iam sor
ry"

Heputhi
sar
msar
oundmeandhuggedmeback.Hi
ssmel
lst
art
edt
ocal
m medown.

Nkonzo:
"Isai
diwi
l
lhandl
eev
ery
thi
ng.Tr
ustmewheni
sayt
hat
."

Me:
"Iam j
ustscar
ed."

Nkonzo:
"Lookatme"

Idi
dn'
tlookathi
m.Hel
i
ftedmyhead.

Nkonzo:"Idon'
tknowwhatiam f
eeli
ngcausei
hav
enev
erf
elti
tbef
orebutI
tsmaki
ngmef
eel
good.I
tsstrongandi
dontknowaboutyou"

Me:
"Youwantust
odat
e?Wecan'
tdot
hat"

Hesawt
hepani
cinmyey
esandhechuckl
ed.

Nkonzo:
"No.I
fithappensi
justwantt
omakey
ou.
..
..
..
..
."

Hemov
edt
hehai
rfr
om myey
es.

Me:
"Makemewhat?"

Hesmi
l
ed.

Nkonzo:
"Not
hing.Let
sgoi
nsi
de.I
tsget
ti
ngcol
d."

Me:
"Youar
enotl
eav
ingr
ight?"

Hechuckl
ed.

Nkonzo:
"Youchasedmeaway"

Me:
"Noi
am sor
ry."

Hepull
edmetohim andi
landedonhi
schest
.Hi
sonehandwasi
nhi
spocketandhel
ower
ed
hi
sface.I
twasi
nchesaway.

Nkonzo:
"Iam sor
ryaboutt
hisbut.
..
..
"

Helower
edhi
slipsandt
heymetmineandicl
osedmyeyesandhesuckedonmyl
i
psandwe
shar
edaspi
nechil
li
ngki
ss.Ibr
okei
tandputmyhandsonhi
schest
.

Nkonzo:
"Iam sor
ry"

Me:
"It
sok"

220
.

*MUZI*

Igottotheai
rpor
tandi boardedont heplane.If orgott
ocallLandiswabefor
ei goti
ntheplane
butiwil
lcal
lherwhenireachmydest i
nation.Ilovethatgir
landi woul
ddoany t
hingforher
.I
knowmecheat i
ngdoesn'tnecessaril
yshowt hatbutido.Iregretcheat
ingonherandi am
GladThatPal
esahaslef
tmeal oneandi havenot hi
ngt iedtoher.

Host
ess:
"Woul
dyoul
i
keany
thi
ngsi
r?"

Il
ookedather

Me:
"Justwat
erf
ornow"

Her:
"Comi
ngr
ightup"

Shewal
kedawayandcameback.

Me:
"Thanks."

Iopenedthebott
ledwat
erandstar
teddr
inki
ng.Thenr
est
edmyhead.Ineedt
otakemyt
rai
ning
seri
ousl
ywhi l
eiam i
nPort
ugal.

*MADLAMI
NI*

Myphoner
angaswewer enowoutofchurch.I
twasni ghtt
imeandiwasgoi
ngtol
eavewit
h
mygoodfr
iendMbako.Sheli
vesnearbythechurch.Itooki
toutandwal
kedawayfr
om t
he
womenandMamf undi
siwasstil
lgi
vingmeast are.Ianswer
edmyphone.

Me:
"Hel
l
o"

Sengway
o:"I
thasst
art
ed?"

221
Me:
"Whathas?"

Sengway
o:"Thei
rJour
ney
.Theyhav
ebeeni
nti
mat
e"

Me:
"NO!Theywer
en'
tsupposedt
obei
nti
mat
enow"

Sengway
o:"Wel
ltheyhav
eful
l
ybecameone"

Me:
"Ei
shy
abonauLandi
swaezongi
bul
ala(y
ouseeLandi
swai
sonami
ssi
ont
oki
l
lme)"

Ihuf
fed.Thi
sisamess.I
tssupposedt
ohappenaf
terThi
sst
ormt
hat
'saboutt
ooccur.

Sengway
o:"Wel
lihav
etogo"

Me:
"Okei
sh"

Ihungup.

Mamf
undi
si:
"Tr
oubl
e?"

Me:
"Notatal
l
."

Shef
akedasmi
l
eandi
wentbackt
oMbako.Howam i
gonnaf
ixt
his.?

"t
hroughdr
oughtandf
ami
n

Nat
ural
disast
ers.Mybabyhasbeenar
oundf
orme.

Ki
ngdomshav
efal
l
en

Angel
sbeencal
l
in

Nonoft
hatcoul
dev
ermakemel
eav
e

Yeah,
ever
yti
mei
looki
ntoy
ourey
esi
seei
t

You'
real
lineed.

Ev
eryt
imei
getbi
tinsi
dei
feel
it

Ooouuuh,
whowoul
d'
vet
houghti
gety
ou

Ooouuuh,
whowoul
d'
vet
houghti
gety
ou.

222
Andwhenwe'
remaki
ngl
ove

Yourcr
iest
heycanbehear
dfr
om f
arandwi
de

I
tsonl
ythet
woofus

Ev
ery
thi
ngi
needi
sbet
weent
hoset
highs.
..
..
..
. "

Dani
elCaeser.

Iloveoldschool musi
c,Rnbalotbutt hi
sonejustgetsmyspi netingli
ngwit
hhimjustsmir
king
andmi mickingt hewords.WellbecauseDanielCaesardoesn'thav eadeepvoi
celi
keNkonzo.
Itjustmakesy ourbodyv i
brat
ewi t
houtwar ni
ng.Thisfeel
i
ngi don'tknowwhereit
scoming
from buttonight, t
odaywehav edecidedtoexplor
ei tabitbefor
et omorr
ow whenwewi l
l
repentandpr etendl i
kenonofthishappened.

Hekissesmyhandandpl acesitlockedwithhisonhi sthi

ghandgl ancesupatme.Thoughi
can'
tseehi m properl
ybuthi seyesspar kl
eunderthenightst ar
s.Iblushandl ookawayand
Questi
onmy sel
f.Whatist hi
smandoi ngtome?No.Whyi shedoi ngt hi
stome? Il ookoutof
thewindow andi lookatthest ar
s.Theyar ebeaut
iful
.Wer eachapl ace.Iguessithi
shouse.I
t
ain'
tdramat i
call
yMassi velikeMuzi '
sbuti l
ovethewoodenj unglethemei tpot
raysaswefir
st
walkedin.Hewashol di
ngmyhandi tfeltl
ikeiwasat eenagerthatsnuckf r
om homet ogoand
gethervir
ginit
ybr oken.Thedooropenedandt hel
ightswereonany way .

Me:
"Uhm "

Hechuckl
esandKi
ssesmyl
i
pswhi
l
ehol
dingt
hesi
deofmyf
aceandl
ooksi
ntomyey
es.

Nkonzo:
"noonei
sher
eipr
omi
se.I
tsj
ustus."

Me:
"Tomor
row wear
efor
get
ti
ng.
..
..
."

Nkonzo:
"Thi
sni
ghtev
erhappenedi
know.Come"

Hepi
ckedmeupandi
giggl
ed

Me:
"putmeDownNkonzo"

Nkonzo:
"no"

Me:
"putmedown"

Nkonzo:
"Chi
l
lyourass"

Hespankedi
t.

Me:
"st
opt
hat"

223
Hesmi r
ked.Whyam il
ovingt hi
smomenti dontreal
lyknow.Hewal kedinhi
sbedroom and
wenttothebal
conyandputmedown.Wel ookedout si
deandthenaturewasbeauti
fult
owatch.
Hisbackyardwasamazingandt hestar
sandl ar
gepool compli
mentedit.Hetookoffhi
stop
andiwatchedhi
m andhel ookedatmeandsmi l
edandwr appedhi
sar msaroundme.I t
srar
e
toseeNkonzosmil
eandi am t r
yingt
ogetusedt othat.

Me:
"it
sbeaut
if
ul"

Nkonzo:
"Mmmh"

Heki
ssedmycheek"

Me:
"St
opi
t"

Nkonzo:
"ihaveafewhourswithyouandmay
bet
hesewi
l
lbet
heonl
yfewhour
sihav
ewi
th
youinmyli
fe.Ij
ustwannacher
ishthem."

Ij
ustdi
dntknowwhatt
osaysoi
keptqui
etandenj
oyedt
hev
iew.

Nkonzo:
"Si
ngf
orme"

Me:
"What?"

Nkonzo:
"Any
thi
ngt
hatcomesf
rom y
ourhear
t"

Hewrapshi
sar
msmor
eandi
feel
war
m ashi
sski
nisagai
nstmi
ne.It
urnedt
ohi
m andhe
l
ooksatme.

Me:
"Tel
lmewhy?

Yousoaf
rai
dtobeemot
ional

Tel
lmewhy

Ican'
texpr
essmy
sel
f.Tonooneel
sebuty
ou(i
laughed)

Yourl
astgi
rlcoul
dntgeti
tri
ght(hechuckl
ed.Icoul
dn'
tsaymannowcoul
di?)
yousayy
ou
wantsomethi
ngr eal
inyourl
if
e

Causey
ou'
vehear
dital
lbef
ore

andi
tal
lbeent
hesamet
oyou

Nkonzo:
"Buti
meani
twheni
tel
lyou

(i
frowned,
hej
usthi
j
ackedme)

gi
rly
ouknowt
hati
car
efory
ou

224
Iwoul
ddoany
thi
ngf
ory
ou

Igi
veupmyl
i
fef
ory
ou

Gi
rly
ouknowt
hati
cher
ishy
ou.
..
"

Me:
"andy
ouhadt
ohi
ghj
ackme"

Hechuckl
ed

Nkonzo:
"Cut
e"

Heki
ssedmyf
oreheadandt
urnedmear
ound.

Nkonzo:
"iwi
sht
hisdaycoul
dgosl
ower
.

Ikeptqui
et.Butdeepi
nsi
dei
am enj
oyi
ngbei
ngher
ewi
thhi
m.I
tsl
i
kei
am atpeacewi
thi
nme

225
I
NSERTTHI
RTY-
THREE

Myphonerangdi
stur
bingmef r
om mysleep.Iwasinadeepsl
eepli
keiwassleepi
ngl
i
kea
baby
.It
ri
edt oi
gnoreitbutbecauset
hisguyisshaki
ngmet owakeup.Igr
oan.

Me:
"Mmmh"

Nkonzo:
"Wakeup.I
tsy
ourgr
andma"

Isatupf
astandt
ookmyphoneandi
twasi
ndeedher
.Ianswer
edmyphone.

Me:
"Gogo"

Gogo:
"Ukuphi
?(wher
ear
eyou?)
"

Me:
"Ngi
..
..
.(I.
..
.)
"

Gogo:
"Don'
tsayy
ouar
ewi
thMuzi
causehel
efti
know."

Shi
tiam bust
ed

Me:
"Iam wi
thAmanda"

Gogo:
"Ksasai
wanty
ouhome."

Me:
"YesMama"

Shehungup.Godwhydidshecomeback.Iam j
ustgl
adthatshecamebackt
hisl
ate.Iputmy
phonedownandNkonzopul
ledmetohi
schest.Iwasdeepinthought
s.

Nkonzo:
"Whatdi
dshesay?
"

Me:
"Shei
sbackhomei
thi
nk"

Hi
shandmov
edt
omyt
highandi
tur
nedt
ohi
m andhepl
acedi
tonmybut
t.

226
Nkonzo:
"ni
cebut
t"

Il
aughed

Me:
"Thanky
ou."

Hepul
l
edmeecl
osert
ohi
m.

Nkonzo:
"youknowi
wannabei
nsi
deofy
out
hismoment"

Me:
"Thenwhat
sst
oppi
ngy
ou?"

Hesmirkedandki
ssedmeandir
esponded.It
hinkmyhoenessfrom wit
hinhassur
facedwit
h
al
otofpower.Hecar
essedmyt
highandhishandsl
ippedunderhist
-shi
rtthati
am weari
ng.

Hecaressedmythighandpull
ingmeclosert
ohim andmybodywasstar
ti
ngt oheatashe
pul
ledmecloserandclosert
il
liwasontopofhi
m andibr
oketheki
ssandplacedmyhandson
hi
schestandlookedathim.

Nkonzo:
"Uy
indoni
Yamanzi
(youar
ebeaut
if
ul)"

Ismi
l
ed.

Me:
"Wannachar
m me.?
"

Nkonzo:
"Idon'
thav
etot
ry"

Hepull
edmyfacetohisandweki
ssedoncemoreandhishandsranuptomybreastsandi
t
ookoffthet
opandhesqueezedt
hem soft
lywhi
l
egroani
ng.Hegentlylai
dmeont hesi
deand
iwasonmybackandhegotontopofmeandpartedmylegsthenhetouchedmeagainandi
ts
l
ikehewassendi
ngelect
ri
csi
gnal
sthr
oughmybody .Hewhi sper
ednexttomyear.

Nkonzo:
"Easyaccess"

Hementt hati
sleptwit
houtmyunder
wear
.Idi
dnt
tknowwhatt
osaybuti
fel
thi
m sl
i
pin.I
pushedhi
m abitbyhisshoul
der
.

Me:
"Sl
ow down.Youar
etoomuch"

Hechuckl
edandki
ssedmyf
orehead"

Nkonzo:
"Oki
wil
l"

Hewenti
nsl
owl
yti
l
lhewasf
ull
yin.Hej
ustf
il
ledmeup.Igaspedandheper
kedmyl
i
ps.

Nkonzo:
"Cani
sayany
thi
ngt
oyou.
?"

Hest
art
edt
omov
e.

227
Me:
"Ahh"

Hei
ncr
easedhi
space.

Nkonzo:
"Fucky
ousowar
m"

Iwasbi
ti
ngmybot
tom l
i
pandt
ear
slef
tmyey
esbecauseoft
hepl
easur
ehewasi
ntr
oduci
ng
meto.

Me:
"Ahy
esNkonzo!
"

Nkonzo:
"Shi
tBaby"

Wel
lther
estwashi
stor
y

*MADLAMI
NI*

Iwasn'tateasewithhowLandiswaandNkonzojustbecameinti
mat e.Thi
ngsarespi
ri
li
ngout
ofcontrol.Ihav
ewentbackhomethi
smor mingtoconsultt
heancestorsandseewhattheyare
doing.Itookmywat erandipr
ayedfori
t.Ipray
edlikeihaveneverprai
dbefor
e.Ihadav i
sion
fl
ashbef oremyeyesandtheniwasbacktothestat
ei wasin.

Me:
"NO"

Igotupandi
tookmyphoneandi
dial
edSengway
o.

Sengway
o:"MaDl
ami
ni"

Me:
"Zi
yabhedamanj
e(i
tsget
ti
ngbad)"

228
Sengway
o:"Whati
sit?
"

Me:
"Consul
ttheMkhi
zeancest
ors.Weshoul
dst
opt
his."

Sengway
o:"Whatdi
dtheDl
ami
niancest
orssay?
"

Me:
"Theyar
egonnapuni
shLandi
swa,
theyar
egonnaPuni
shher"

Ihungupandi
wasshaki
ng.

Me:
"Nkosi
siza(
.Lor
dhel
pme)"

I
tsthemor ni
ngandi wassi t
ti
ngont hehi
ghchairbyt heki
tcheni slandandiwasi ndeep
thoughts.Whati sawinmydr eam wassomethingv erydi
sturbing.Asnaket hatgoes
unrecognised.Oldment hatarenotinahappystatelooki
ngatme.Ihav ejustfi
nsishedbat
hing
andi am dressed.IhelpedNkonzopackanfi havelefthi
mt ogot akeashower .ImissMuziand
thi
sisallmessedupf orr eal
.Ifeelahandonmybackandi li
ftmyheadupani tsNkonzo.

Nkonzo:
"Youok?"

Me:
"(f
akeasmi
l
e)Yesi
am "

Nkonzo:
"(l
ooki
ngatme)i
won'
taskf
urt
her"

Me:
"Her
eissomef
ood"

Hegoest
othef
ri
dgeandt
akesoutat
ubofi
cecr
eam.

Nkonzo:
"iwi
l
lhav
ethataf
terhav
ingi
cecr
eam "

Me:
"Youdon'
tcomeasaper
sonwhol
ovesi
cecr
eam "

Nkonzo:
"itcal
msmedownaf
terasmoke"

Inodhedi
shesup.

Me:
"wheni
syourf
li
ght?
"

Nkonzo:
"In3Hour
s"

Me:
"Weshoul
dpr
ay"

Nkonzo:
"Youcandot
hatal
one"

229
Me:
"Nkonzo!
"

Nkonzo:
"AyiLandi
swaCel
aungangi
casul
ingi
bengi
vukekahl
e(don'
tir
ri
tat
emeLandi
swa
wheniwokeupinagoodmodd)"

Me:
"Butwepr
omi
sedt
opr
ayaboutt
his"

Nkonzo:
"Youwant
edt
odot
hist
oeasey
ourconsci
ous.Idi
dn'
t"

Me:
mxm y
ouar
esel
fi
shy
az.Yout
hinkofy
our
sel
f"

Iwasangr
yandi
don'
tknowwhy
.Hehel
dmyhandsandl
ookedatmewi
thnoexpr
essi
onatal
l
.

Nkonzo:"Whyar
eyouwor
kedupl
i
kewear
emar
ri
ed.Angi
niweagr
eedt
ofor
getabout
yest
erday?"

Me:
"Yes"

Nkonzo:
"thenuf
unani
landi
swaheh?(t
henwhatdoy
ouwantl
andi
swa?
)"

Hesai
dwi
thav
eryf
ir
mvoi
ceandt
ear
sjustl
eftmyey
es.

Nkonzo:
"Ukhal
elani
?(whyar
eyoucr
ying?
)"

Hewasexpr
essi
onl
ess.Hej
ustkeptast
rai
ghtf
ace.

Me:"(cr
ying)i wantyouandiwantMuzitoo.Iam j
ustconfused.Iam angr
yatthesametime
atmysel
ffornotresi
sti
ngyouandiam sadidon'tknowmy selfatthi
spoint
.Ij
ustfeel
dif
fer
ent
andand..
..
..
"

Hel
ookedatmeandr
emov
edhi
shandsf
rom meandsi
ghed.

Nkonzo:
"Weagr
eedonourter
msLandiswaandit
sdif
fi
cul
tformeaswel
lbuti
tsf
ort
hebest
.I
havebet
ray
edmyboyal
readyi
nthemostcr
uelway"

Me:
"Iknowi
am sor
ry"

Nkonzo:
"comeher
e"

Hehuggedmeandt
henwi
pedmyt
ear
s.

Nkonzo:
"It
sfort
hebest
."

Hei
sri
ght
.

230
.

*MONGEZI*

Iwal
kedinmystudywi
thNdabasit
ti
ngonthest
udycouchwhi
l
eonat
abl
et.Iwentst
rai
ghtf
or
mywhiskyandi
pouredi
tthent
urnedtohi
m.

Me:
"Whatar
eyoul
ooki
ngat?
"

Hel
eanedf
orwar
dwi
thaf
rownonhi
sfacewhi
l
est
il
ll
ooki
ngatt
het
abl
et.

Me:
"NdabaKhul
uma(t
alkNdaba)"

Ndaba:
"Isi
twei
rdt
hatt
hiscousi
nofy
our
schi
ckhassomuchr
esembl
ancet
oyou"

Me:
"YoumeanMenzi
'
swi
fe?"

Ndaba:
"Not
heot
herone."

Me:
"Muzi
?"

Ndaba:
"Yeah"

Ichuckl
ed.

Me:
"Peopl
elookt
hesameatt
imes.I
tdoesn'
tmeanany
thi
ng"

Ndaba:
"yeahmay
bebutt
hisi
stoomuch"

Ii
gnor
edhi
m.

Me:
"isPal
esacomi
ngi
n?"

Ndaba:
"yesi
naf
ewmi
nut
es"

Me:
"Sur
e.Cl
oset
hedoorony
ourwayout"

Hest
oodupandwal
kedout
.

231
*THEMBEKA*

Isatdownonthechai
rasmydaught
erwassmi
l
ing.Il
ookedatmysoni
nlawandi
hav
etosay
thi
sboycankeepitt
oget
her
.

Zanel
e:"Thanky
oumahf
orcomi
ng"

Me"i
woul
dn'
tmi
sshav
ingdi
nnerwi
thmyonl
ydaught
er"

Qhawe:
"Weshoul
dinv
itey
oursi
steronedaydon'
tYout
hink"

Zanel
e:"Don'
trui
nmyni
ghtpl
ease"

Me:
"Mkhweny
anashei
sjustabl
acksheepi
don'
twanti
nmyf
ami
l
y"

Qhawe:
"isee."

Hesneer
edandi
fakedasmi
l
e.

Me:
"Mor
ewi
nebabypl
ease"

Zanel
e:"Sur
emom "

shepour
edmesomemor
ewi
ne.Qhawest
oodup.

Zanel
e:"Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?"

Qhawe:
"ij
ustr
emember
ed i
hav
esomewor
ktocompl
ete.

Zanel
e:"Baby
..
..
..
"

Me:
"It
sfi
ne"

Shesi
ghed.Icar
ri
edondr
inki
ng.

Zanel
e:"won'
tLandi
swaf
indoutwhoi
sherf
ather?
"

Me:
"Hei
sdeadsoi
tsnouse"

Zanel
e:"but.
..
."

Me:
"Butnot
hingZanel
e!!
"

Ibangedt
het
abl
e

Me:
"Mkhokhel
ii
sdead!
"

232
Zanel
e:"Sor
ryMah"

Me:
"hedi
dnthav
eaf
ami
l
yforal
liknow"

Zanel
e:"Iwasj
ust.
..
..
"

Me:
"Di
shupandst
opmaki
ngmeangr
y"

Shedishedupf
orme.Justthinkingofthatmanget
smesi
ckt
omystomach.Hel
eftmeand
fl
ed.Iwassohappytoheart
hathewasdead.Whodoeshethi
nkhewast
oleaveasper
minme
andleavemeal
one.Landi
swal ooksjustl
ikehi
m.

233
I
NSERTTHI
RTY-
FOUR

Icoul
dseethebl
ooddri
ppi
ngfrom mylaptopthenibackedawayandlookedatmyhandsans
theywer
efull
ofbl
ood.Myheartr
acedandi lookedupandi sawashadowi nf
rontofme.My
neckl
ace(iwasgi
ventobygogo)justgl
owedandi stoodupf r
om mychairandthedoor
openedandGogogoti
n.

Gogo:
"Landi
swaar
eyouok?
"

Me:
"(t
ear
y)whydoi
hav
ebl
oodonmyhands?
"

Gogo:
"Comeher
e"

Iwenttoherandweshar
edahug.Myhandsseem t
obecl
eanl
i
kenot
hinghappened.We
broket
hehug.

Gogo:
"Comet
heQueeni
sher
etov
isi
tyou"

Me:
"Mbal
i?"

Gogo:
"Nosi
l
ly.Muzi'
sMot
her"

Me:
"Oh.Letmewashmyhands"

Gogo:
"Don'
ttaket
ool
ong"

Inoddedandshewalkedoutandiwentt
owashmyhandsbefor
eiwal
kedoutoft
hest
udyand
approachest
heQueensit
ti
ngwithNomaandGogohav
ingtea.Nomaj
umpedup.

Noma:
"Gi
rl
fr
iendy
ohchi
l
didon'
tev
enknowy
ouany
mor
e.!
!"

Wehug.

Me:
"Iam good.Youar
etheonehi
ding"

Noma:
"OrMuzi
isgi
vi
ngi
ttoy
ougood?
"

Queen:
"Nomazul
u!!
"

Noma:
"Sor
ry"

Wel
aughedandt
heQueenputhert
eadown.

Me:
"(Bowi
ng)MyQueen"

234
Queen:
"Comeher
eandgi
vemeaHug"

Iwentt
oherandweshar
edahug.I
twassowar
m.Webr
okei
t.

Queen:
"Iam Gl
adNkonzowaski
ndenought
oleav
ethi
spl
acef
ory
ou"

Wellletmef il
lyouin.Itsfourmont hsnowhav epassedsi ncet hedayNkonzol eft.Inthosef our
mont hsthi
ngshav echangedsomuchi nourl i
vesorshoul di saymyl i
fe.Fi
rstofal lnowi pray
andgot ochur chatt i
mes.Notal lthetime.Ihav ewei rddreamsandseesomeoft hef uture
eventsthathappenl ikeshortlyrightafterihadav i
sionaboutt hem.Gogosay si willbepower ful
butonlyusei tforgood.Ihav en'tfull
yaccept ed.AnotherThi ngNkonzoof f
eredf ormeeand
Gogot omov einhishouse.Ir efusedpl ai
nblankandhecal ledMuzi whosawi tbestcausehe
saidhewon' tcomebackaf tery earsmay besoweshoul dst ayther e.Noonedoessonowwe
stayathisJungl ehouse.Ical li
tt hatandi l
ovehow i t
ssurroundedbynat ure.Ther ear eev en
gaurdsheret okeepussaf eandahel paswel lsowedon' tgetbor ed.Hernamei sThenj iand
sheisroundaboutmyage.30y earsol dyearitsnotmyagebutkewegetal ongjustv eryfine.
Muzi andi wear esti
llgoi
ngandi am lovingwhatwehav e.Iwoul dn'twannaruini t
.Ironic
becausei didsomet hingthatifitcomesout .Iam r ui
ned.Hopei tdoesnt, t
hehar ddr iv
eand
Usbi havekepti tsafeaspr omi sedandi wonderwhati sinsidet herebutiwon' tcheck.School
i
swonder f
ulandeasynowt hati didtheetutori
als.Muziwentdownt oTheKhany isakingdom
j
ustt oseehi sbr ot
herbuthewi llbebacksoon.Backt owher ewewer e

Gogo:
"Yes.Thatboyi
sabl
essi
ng"

Noma:
"Canwegot
othemal
l?"

Me:
"For?"

Noma:
"Shoppi
ngduh"

Me:
"Buti
hav
eanassi
gnmentt
ofi
nish"

Queen:
"Af
ewhour
swon'
thur
t"

Honest
lyi
wast
ir
edandj
ustwant
edt
osl
eep.

Me:
"okl
etmegochange"

Ir
anupt
hest
air
sandi
wentt
omyr
oom t
ochange.

*PALESA*

235
.

Hewalkedinwhi
leiwassi
ttingont hecouchdev our
ingmysweetchi
ll
i
edorit
oswithyogur
t.He
thr
ewhisphoneontopoftheGl asstabl
eandsatnextt omeandhelookedfr
ust
ratedsoijust
keptqui
etanddi
dn'
tsayanything.Hissightsi
ckensmebutatthesamet i
meallihavetodois
carr
ythi
schil
dandigetal
lthati want.

Mongezi
:"(l
ooki
ngatme)Howi
sthechi
l
d?"

Heput
shi
shandonmyst
omach.

Me:
"it
sgr
owi
ng"

Ir
emov
edhi
shand

Me:
"Whyar
eyouni
ce?
"

Mongezi
:"Idont
twannaf
ightt
oday"

Ikeptqui
etandcgangedt
hechannel
.

Mongezi
:"Doy
ouknowt
hegenderasy
et?
"

Me:
"No.I
twi
l
lber
eveal
ednextmont
h"

Isni
ff
edaf
ewt
imes.

Me:
"Whati
sthatbadsmel
l?"

Mongezi
:"Whatbadsmel
l?"

Igotupandquicklyrantot
hebathr
oom andi vomit
ed.Ihatedt
hisandt hepersonwholefthi
s
spermisnothere.Igotupandfl
ushedthetoil
etandlookedatmy sel
fint hemir
rorandisawa
manstandbehindme.Hehadast rai
ghrface.Ij
umpedandt urnedandt herewasnoone
behi
ndme.Ir i
nsedmymout handi r
anoutandbumpedi ntoMongezi .

Mongezi
:"whati
sther
unni
ngabout?
"

Me:
"Uhm not
hing"

i
stwei
rdt
hatt
hemani
sawl
ooksj
ustl
i
keMongezi
?May
bemymi
ndi
spl
ayi
nggameswi
thme.

236
*THEMBEKA*

Iwasi nmybedr oom andi hadj usttakenashower .Igotoutandi wor eagownandwr apped
my selfi
nat owel
.I t
samazi nghowst il
lZanele'sfatheraf t
erhemadei thest i
llgi
vesmemoney
everymont handboughtahousef orme.Hest il
lcomesev erynowandt henbutwear enot
togetherany more.Hei smar r
ied.il
otionmybodyandi havetosayt hatmymot hergaveust he
l
ooksandabodyt odiefor.Ifinishl
ot i
oni
ngandt heni siti
nfrontoft hemi r
rorandtakeof ft
he
towel fr
om myheadandi taket hehairdryertodrymywetweav e.Ifigureappear sbehindme
andi sdrippingwithblood.Iscream andidr opmyhai rdryerandi turnt henitdisappears.I
quicklystajdupandr untomyphoneandi cal
lThami .Heanswer s.

Thami
:"(Zanel
e'sf
ather)Thembeka"

Me:
"I.
..
I..
..
"

Iwasshaki
ng.

Thami
:"Iwi
l
lber
ightt
her
e.Hangon"

Hedroppedt
hecal
l andi
sli
ddownandcr
ied.I
sLandi
swa'
sfat
herhaunt
ingme?Whyi
s
Mkhokhel
i haunt
ingme?Whatdoeshewant?

I
NSERTTHRI
TY-
FIVE

237
.

*
THEMBEKA*

ThedooropenedandThami cameinr
ushi
ngtomeandhecr ouchedinf
rontofmewhil
etaki
ng
offhi
sBlazerj
acketandputi
tasi
de.Iwassti
l
lshakenandcr
ying.WhatdoesMkhokhel
iwant
fr
om me?Hasn' thedoneenoughbyleav
ingLandi
swabyme.

Thami
:"shhcal
m down"

Hecar
essedmybackandi
hel
donhi
mfordearl
i
feasi
wascr
ying.

Thami
:"whathappened?"

Icoul
dn'
tev
ent
alkt
hewayi
wasshocked.Het
ookouthi
sphoneandmadeacal
l
.

Thami
:"Yes,
Ifoundheri
nat
raumat
icst
ate.
..
.okmahi
wil
l"

Hehungup.

Thami
:"Comel
etsgety
oudr
essedandpackcl
othesf
ory
ou.Youar
egoi
ngt
oyourmot
her
's"

Me:
"Idon'
twannaseeLandi
swa"

Thami
:"Thi
shat
redy
ouhav
eov
erherhast
ost
opumdal
aThembeka"

Me:
"Youwon'
tunder
standThami
!!"

Ishout
ed.Hel
etgoofmeandsl
appedme.Il
aidont
hef
loor
.

Thami :
"Damnyouar
edi
srespect
ful
!Howmanyt
imeshav
eit
oldy
oudonott
alkt
omel
i
kei
am yourchi
l
d!"

Ihel
dmycheekandi
cri
ed.

Thami
:"(cl
i
cki
nghi
stongue)getupandpack.Don'
ttestme"

Hewal
kedoutandi
hel
dmyf
eetandj
ustl
ett
het
ear
sfl
ow.

238
.

*
MUZI*

Iam happyt hatmeandMenzi ar

emendingourbrokenrelati
onshi
p.Igott
osaythatheisdoi
ng
thi
sKi ngshi
pquietwellanditsui
tshi
m.Heev enlooksmat urednowthaniam.Iwokeupanda
servantwasi nmyr oom andsheopenedthecurtai
ns.Ilookedatherandshehadabehi ndf
or
days.Af ri
canbodyjustli
keLandiswabutt
hicker
.Shelookedy oungaswell
.Sheturnedasigot
offthebedandsj ebowed.

Her:
"TheYoungKi
ngsai
dishoul
dcomeandi
nfor
myout
hatt
hef
oodosr
eady"

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Her:
"Ihav
epr
epar
edabubbl
ebat
h"

Me:
"whati
syourname?"

Her:
"Xol
i
ley
ourhi
ghness,
iwi
l
lbey
ourper
sonal
Ser
vant"

Me:"Ni
cetomeety
ouXol
i
le.Pi
ckoutcl
othesf
ormesi
ncemygi
rl
fr
iendi
sn'
ther
e.Iwi
l
lgoand
t
akeashower"

Xol
i
le:
"Asy
ouwi
shy
ourhi
ghness"

Shebowedabi ttheni
walkedtotheBathroom andtookashower
.Sheisbeaut
iful
.Imeanour
Kingdom doeshaveal
otofbeaut
ifull
adi
es.Itookmyshowerandi wrappedatowelar
oundmy
waistandniwal
kedoutandshewasst andingbesi
demybed.Herey esmetmineanditsl
ikemy
bl
oodpumpedandi cl
ear
edmyt hroatandshelookeddown.

Xol
i
le:
"Any
thi
ngel
sey
ouneedy
ourhi
ghness?
"

Me:
"Noi
wil
lcal
lyouwheni
needy
ou.Thanky
ou"

Shebowedandthenmadeherwayout .Itookmyphoneandi
hav
etwomessagesf
rom
Landi
swaandonefrom anunknown.Idecidedt
ocal
lher
.

Landi
swa:
"(mout
hful
l)Baby"

Me:
"Lum l
um.Howar
eyou?"

Landi
swa:
"Wear
egood.Iam good.Justget
ti
ngf
atandmi
ssi
ngy
ou"

239
Me:
"Youbei
ngl
azy"

Landi
swa:
"idohel
p.Her
eandt
her
ebabyi
am notl
azy"

Me:
"Idomi
ssy
out
oo"

Landi
swa:
"Muzi
"

Me:
"Yesl
um l
um."

Landi
swa:
"Youknowi
lov
eyou.Ri
ght?"

Shesni
ff
s.

Me:
"Yeahbabyl
i
kei
Lov
eyoumor
e"

Landi
swa:
"Iwantt
ocomecl
eanwi
thy
ou"

Shei
sscar
yingmemanj
e.Myhear
tisbeat
ingf
ast
.

Me:
"Cl
eanaboutwhat?
"

Landi
swa:
"Iwi
l
ltel
lyouwheny
oucomeback.Gr
eetev
ery
onet
her
e"

Me:
"ok.Il
ovey
ou."

Landi
swa:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"

Shehungupandi hel
dmyphonei n.confusi
on.Itvi
bratedindi
cati
ngamessagei scomingi
n
anditstheunknownnumber.Idecidedtogetdressedf i
rstbef
oreiopenit.Thisgir
lcan
choose.ShetookoutdenimrippedjeansformeBlackwi thablackgolfshi
rtandJordonwhi
te
sneakers.Iworethem andt
heni t
ookmyphoneandr eadthemessage.

UNKOWN*
**MUZI
***
*

Ir
eadt
hesecondone.

UNKOWN* *
*Iknowy ousai
dishoul
dn'
tevercontactyoubutir
eal
lycan'
tdot
hisonmyown.
Honest
lywhatiam sayi
ngisMuzii
am pr
egnant.From Pal
esa***
*

Anditwasatt
achedwit
haphot
oofascan.Ifeltheadspi
ning.Fuckt
hisi
samess.Ir
ushedout
.
Ineedtocl
earmyhead.Thi
scannotbet
rue.I
tcanruinwhatmeandLandiswahav
e.

240
*
MONGEZI*

"
Youknowi
hav
eaboy
fri
endr
ight?

Shesai
dlooki
ngatmewi
th.Af
rown.Ihandedt
hef
lower
stoher.

Me:
"iknow.Ij
ustwantt
obey
ourf
ri
end"

Landi
swa:
"Af
ri
endt
hatbuy
sgi
ft
sli
ket
hisf
oraf
emal
e.Hano"

Shewal
kedof
fandi
fol
l
owedher
.Shej
ustcameoutofcampus.

Me:
"Honest
lyt
hat
swhati
want
.Idon'
twantt
odat
eyou"

Landi
swa:
"Ouch"

i
chuckl
ed.

Landi
swa:
"Ok"

i
handedt
hef
lowert
oher
.

Me:
"Fr
iends?"

Landi
swa:
"Comeher
efr
iendshi
p"

Wehugged.

Me:
"ihav
etor
ush.Ihav
eameet
ing".

Landi
swa:
"Thanksf
ort
hef
lower
s."

Me:
"youwel
come"

Iwal
kedoffasshewav
edandwal
kedt
oherdr
iverandi
goti
nthecarandNdabahadhi
sphone
andhehandeditt
ome.

Ndaba:
"Andy
ousayy
oudon'
tl
ookal
i
ke"

Me:
"Youst
il
lonaboutt
hat"

Hehandsmehi
sphone.

Ndaba:
"justl
ook"

Il
ookedatLandi
swa'
sphot
o,shehadf
ami
l
iarey
es.

241
Me:
"st
il
lpeopl
ejustl
ookt
hesame"

Ndaba:
"Ay
iit
ri
ed"

Me:
"Howar
ethi
ngsatt
hepal
acewor
king?"

Ndaba:
"Hluzi
isget
ti
ngoni
t.Hei
syett
ofi
ndt
hei
nsandoutbymont
hendwewi
l
lhav
eal
lthe
i
nfor
mati
on".

Me:
"Good."

i
signal
edt
het
hedr
ivershoul
ddr
iveof
f.Thi
ngsar
ecomi
ngt
oget
hersl
owl
y.

*
LANDI
SWA*

TheQueenwasst i
llhereasshesaidsheisv i
sit
ingfortwoday sthensheisl
waving.Shei
s
l
eav i
ngthisaft
ernoon.Herhusbandmi ssesher.Ncooht hei
rloveis.
..
idon'
tknowbut
somewhatcut e.Thedr i
verdr
oveinandst oppedupf rontandopenedthedoorformeandi
thankedhim.Thisist oomuch, Thehousewasenough.Ij ustdontgetwhyNkonzowouldbe
thi
sdr amati
c.Hest oodbythecarandi walkedi nsi
deandIf oundGogoandMal um Thamiat
thelounge.

Me:
"Hel
l
o"

Gogo:
"Howwasschool
?"

Me:
"Good"

Thami
:"Hav
eyougr
ownLandi
swa"

Me:
"Yes"

Gogo:
"yourmot
heri
sst
ayi
ngwi
thust
il
lshei
sok"

i
frowned

Me:
"Whydoesbtshest
aywi
thZanel
eheronl
ydaught
er"

242
Gogo:
"Landi
swa"

Me:
"Ay
igogo.Idon'
twantherher
e.Shehascausedenoughi
nmyl
i
fe"

Iwal
kedupt
hest
air
sandbumpedi
ntoMom .

Mom :
"Whatar
eyoudoi
ngi
nfr
ontofmyf
ace?
"

Me:
"whatar
eyoudoungi
nmyhouse.Pl
easegetoutandgot
oZanel
e"

Shelaughedandbumpedmyshoulderandicli
ckedmyt ongueandwentt omyroom and
bangedthedoor.Iwassoangr
yicanfeelmyself.Tear
sst reameddownmycheeksast othe
thi
ngsthatmom usedtof
otomecamef l
oodingli
keariver.Ist
oodinf
rontoft
hemirrorandi
wipedmyt ear
s.Il
ookedatmysel
fandmyhi psarewidening.

Me:
"don'
tlethergett
oyou"

Amanwhol
ookedf
ami
l
iarappear
edt
hrought
hemi
rr
orandhewasst
andi
ngbehi
ndme.

Hi
m:"Best
il
lmychi
l
d.Al
lshal
lber
eveal
edi
nduet
ime"

Itur
nedandhehaddi
sappear
ed.Iwasn'tshakenevenonebi
twhi
chwaswei
rd.It
ookmy
phoneandsatonmybedandi sentamesaagetohi
m.

*
***
Youar
emi
ssed*
***

Isentt
henl
ockedmyphoneandl
aidonmybed.Idontwantt
oseemom att
hemoment
.

243
I
NSERTTHI
RTY-
SIX

*MUZI*

Afterbreakf
astdadandMenzi wentt omeetwi ththelocalveget
ationsuppliersofthisKingdom.
Idecidedtopass.Mbaliwaswi thherdaaught erinhersleepingchamber .Iwasl osti
nthought s.
May bewhatPal esasai
disn'
ttr ue.Yeahi don'tbeli
eveherbutwhati fi
fust rue.Li
kethisshitis
draini
ngandi can'
ttal
ktoany oneabouti tatthemoment .Iwal
kedt owrdst heGarden.ItsQuiet
andMay beicangetsomet i
met ot hi
nk.IfoundXolil
esitti
ngont heGar denbencheswhi le
doingsomel it
tlebeedwork.Iwal kedtowardsherasshewas hummi ngandgotst art
ledwhen
shesawmeansst oodupandbowedbef oreme.

Me:
"Youmayr
ise"

244
Shedi
dbutst
il
ll
ookeddown.

Me:
"Youar
esi
tt
ingal
one"

Xol
i
le:
"It
houghti
shoul
dpasst
imewhi
l
esi
tt
ingher
eyourhi
ghness"

Iwal
kedcl
oser,
shei
sreal
l
ybeaut
if
uli
nli
ghtski
nli
keshebat
hsi
nmi
l
k.

Me:
"Cani
joi
nyou?
"

Sheseemedhesi
tant.

Me:
"ify
oudon'
tmi
nd"

Xol
i
le:
"Notatal
lyourhi
ghness"

Isatdownnextt
oherandshesatdownandt
ookherbeadwor
kshewaswor
kingon..

Me:
"Youmadet
hat?"

Xol
i
le:
"Yesy
ourhi
ghness."

Me:
"Cani
seei
t.?
"

Xol
i
le:
"Asy
ouwi
sh"

Shewr
appedi
tupandsheputherpt
hert
hingsdownt
henshegav
eitt
ome.

Me:
"It
sbeaut
if
ulwher
edoy
ouputt
his?"

Shet
ooki
tfr
om myhandsandt
heyt
ouched,
ifel
tanel
ect
ri
cwav
emov
ethr
oughmybody
.

Xol
i
le:
"It
sli
keabr
acel
et"

Shet
ookmyhandandt
hatel
ect
ri
cfeel
i
ngwast
her
eagai
n.Sheputi
tonmywr
ist
.

Me:
"ni
ce"

Xol
il
e:"I
tscal
l
edUcu.I
tsusual
lygi
ventosomeoneyoulov
e.Awomangi
vesi
ttothemanshe
l
ovesasli
keasymbolforherl
ove.Letmetakeitof
fsoyoucangi
vet
oyourgi
rl
fri
end".

Ihel
dherhandwhenshet
ri
edt
otakei
tof
f.

Me:
"Nahi
li
kei
ther
eonmywr
ist"

Xol
i
le:
"Buty
ourhi
ghnesss.
..
..
..
"

Iputmyf
inger
sunderherchi
n.Shewasav
oidi
ngey
econt
actwi
thmeal
ot.

Me:
"pl
easel
ookatme"

245
Xol
i
le:
"Ican'
tyourHi
ghnessi
tsf
orbi
ddenandacr
ime"

Il
i
ftedherhead.

Me:
"LookatmeXol
i
le.Justl
ook"

Hereyesl
andedonmeandmyhear tbeatfast
.Iswal
l
owed.Herhazelbrownbi
geyeswere
spar
kli
ngandbeauti
ful
.Igotl
osti
nthem forasecondther
eunt
ilshel
ookeddownagai
n.She
removedmyf i
nger
sf r
om herf
aceandstoodup.

Xol
i
le:
"Cani
beexcusedy
ourhi
ghness?
"

Icl
ear
edmyt
hroat.

Me:
"Youmay
."

Shewal
kedof
fandi
lookedathert
il
lshedi
sappear
ed.

*LANDI
SWA*

Tobehonestthesi
ghtofmymot herwasreal
l
yget
ti
ngt
ome.Icannotpr
etendmi
na.Iknow
thatshei
sgogo'sdaught
erbutt
his.Icannot
.

Me:
"Yourdaught
erdeser
tedy
ou?
"

Mom :
"Shutupwenadon'
tir
ri
tat
emewi
thy
ourannoy
ingsound."

Gogo:
"st
opi
tyout
wo"

Me:
"sheshoul
dleav
eGogo.Wewer
eokwhenshewasnother
e."

Gogo:
"Landi
swashei
syourmot
her"

Il
aughed.

Me:
"wowwhataMot
her
.Youdeser
veanawar
d"

Mom :
"(l
ooki
ngatherf
ood)Ishoul
dhav
eabor
tedy
ou.Idon'
tknowwhyi
didntdot
hat"

246
Gogo:
"THEMBEKA!
"

Mom :
"(l
ooki
ngatme)Whatmahi
tst
rue.Ihat
eher"

Me:
"Thanky
ouy
az"

Istoodupleavi
ngtheedinnert
ableandranupthest ai
rswit
ht earsi
nmyey es.Igotinmy
room andicl
osedthedoorandi sl
i
ddowni tandjustcri
ed.Thoughi actedstr
ongbutthereal
trut
histhatshehurtmewithwhatshesaid.Itreal
lyhurtmeandcutmyhear tdeepl
y.Whatdi
d
ieverdoformymot hert
ohateme?Whatgod?Myphoner angandi cr
awledtoitandit
ookit
anditwasaNumberi di
dn'
tknow.Itdi
dn'tl
ooklikeit
sfrom here.Iwipedmyt earsand
answered.

Me:
"(scr
atchyVoi
ce)hel
l
o?"

"Landi
swa"

Ther
ewassil
encebet
weenus.Apar
tofmewashappytohearhi
svoi
ceagai
n.I
tal
way
shada
waytocal
m medownandapar
tofmeJustf
eltl
i
keishoul
dhangup.

Me:
"(Tear
y)Nkonzo"

Ibur
stedi
ntot
ear
s.

Nkonzo:
"Shhdon'
tcr
y"

Me:
"It
shar
d"

Nkonzo:
"Whati
s?"

Me:"Every
thing.Loosi
ngNt
ombi
changedmyl
i
fedr
amat
ical
l
ythi
ngsar
espi
ral
l
ingoutof
cont
rol
..
..
.i.
.i"

Nkonzo:
"Iam sor
ry.Iwi
shicoul
dcomedownandl
endy
ouashoul
derbutt
hingsar
eget
ti
ng
Hecti
cher
e.Imightnotevencomeback."

Iwi
pedmyt
ear
s.

Me:
"Whatdoy
oumeannotcomeback?
"

Nkonzo:
"iam onasuici
demissi
on.Iam j
ustt
ell
i
ngyouthi
ssoyoucanpr
epar
eforany
thi
ng.I
knowhowsofthear
tedyouar
e.Ev encal
l
ingyouisari
sk.Nowl
i
stentome"

Isatuppr
oper
ly.

Nkonzo:
"ThatHarddri
veandUsbi
gav et
oyou.Makeacopyoft
hem anddest
royt
heor
igi
nal
.
Rememberitaughtyouhowtodothat"

247
Me:
"Yeah"

Nkonzo:
"Good.Makesur
eit
shi
ddenandsaf
e.Noonemustknowabouti
t."

Me:
"Ok"

Ihear
dgunshot
sont
heot
hersi
de.

Me:
"Nkonzo"

Nkonzo:
"Ineedt
ogo.Doasi
sayandLandi
swa"

Myhear
twasbeat
ingf
ast.Tear
sgushi
ngout

Me:
"Yeah"

Nkonzo:
"Tel
lMuzi
thet
rut
h.Thatwhati
wanty
out
odo"

Me:
"Iwi
l
l"

Nkonzo:
"Good.Iknowt
hisi
swr
ongButi
lov
eyou"

Hehungupaf t
erthat.Itr
iedtocallhi
m buti
tssaysthenumberdoesn'
texi
st.Iam soworr
ied
abouthim.Ist
andupandi seethatManagain.Hepoint
satmynecklaceanditsgl
owing.I
hol
ditandhedisappears.Igeti
nbedandj ustcr
y.Ihopehedoesn'
tgethurt
.Whenhesai d
helovesme.Somet hi
ngHugemov edinmeandi justcr
iedmysel
ftosl
eep.

Iwasinagreenfei
l
d.Thegrasswaslongli
kei tcoul
dcov ermyf eetandasnakewoul dappear.I
l
ookedaroundandiwasall
aloneinawhitelongbodyhuggi ngdr essandiwasbarefooted.
Thegrassseemedtobesoftont
omyt oes.Ifeltsomeonet ouchmyshoul deranditur
nedandi t
wasthesamemanwhol ookedfamil
iar
.It
snorl ikeihav
eev erseenhim bef
orebuthelooksli
ke
someoneiknow.Hejustst
oodt her
einfr
ontofmeandhet ouchedmyGl owingNeckl
ace.
Thenawomanappearedbesidehim.

248
Hi
m:"Youar
eknt
her
ightoat
hofanswer
s"

Me:
"Whatanswer
s?"

Woman:
"Pr
ayf
ormyson."

Anot
heroneappear
ed.Shel
ookedol
dbutnotkabi
justt
haty
oucanseeshei
sol
d.

Woman2:
"Prayf
orHi
m.Hewon'
tdoi
tforhi
msel
f.I
tsal
onghar
dJour
neyt
hatwi
l
lst
art
Mnt
anami
."

Thef
ir
stWomanst
eppedcl
osert
ome.

Woman:
"Itmaygethar
dbutknowt
hatourancest
orswi
l
lnev
erl
eav
eyoursi
de."

Iwasconfusedwi
thal
lthatt
heywer
esay
ingandt
het
wowoment
urnedandwal
kedaway
di
sappear
ing.

Hi
m:"(smi
l
ing)Mypr
incess."

Hedi sappearedt ooandev eryt

hingar oundmeandt heni wokeuppant i
ng.Iwasaloneinmy
room.Myneckl acewasbr ightandi don'tknowwhy .Iwasgladitwasmor ni
ngbecausei
wasn' tpreparedtogetbackagai norinsleepi
ngagai n.Igotupandi mademybedandi went
totakeashower .IhaveaMor ningClasstodaysoi needt obeearl
y .Igotoutandiwenttothe
closetandi woreoneofGogo' sol dschooljer
sey s.Calvi
nKl i
en.Ei
shshegotst yl
ethenandsti
ll
now.Iwearmostofherol dst ufffrom heryouthfulday sandGogoi sn'
tthaatol
d.Sheisonly
57.Youngi knowbutshei st hatage.Iwor egreysweat sandmyol dschoolvansandiletmy
hairloose.Ithenwor evaseli
neandi tookmyl aptopandbackpackandwal kedout.Iwalked
downt hestai
rs.IgotdownandmetThenj iwhowaspl acingtheporri
dge.

Me:
"Your
eal
l
yneedt
ost
opwaki
ngupear
ly,
wecandost
uffonourown.

Thenj
i:
"iwasi
nst
ruct
edbyMrMkhi
zebef
orehel
eftt
hati
shoul
dn'
tli
stent
oyou"

Me:
"(onecl
ap)Heehay
igi
rli
don'
tknowany
mor
e"

Wel aughedandihuggedherandsatdownt
oeat.Ifi
nishedandwashedmydishandtheni
tookmyt hi
ngsandiwalkedouf
.IknowGogoisst
il
lenjoyi
nghersl
eep.Igoti
nthecarandi
t
drovemet oschool
.

Afteral
lmyclassesif
eeldr
ained.Atl
easttheneckl
acehasstoppedglowingfornoapparent
reason.Ihav
ebeentryi
ngMuzi buthewon'tpickup.Menzi
thatsinappr
opri
atetocallhi
m andi
don'twannabotherhi
m.Iam justhoppingthathei
sfi
ne.Igetgot hedr
iver
.

Dr
iver:
"Mam"

249
Me:
"Hi
.Ij
ustneedt
orel
axandbewi
thmygr
andmot
herbuti
can'
twi
thmymot
hert
her
e"

Ir
oll
edmyey esandhechuckl
edasigoti
nandandhewentt
othefr
ontandthenhedr
ov eof
f.
Thejour
neywaslonganditdi
dn'
tseem l
i
keweweregoi
nghome.Iwonderwherewearegoi
ng.

Me:
"Wher
ear
eweheadi
ngcauset
hisj
our
neyi
snotheadi
nghome"

Dr
iver:
"Iam j
ustf
oll
owi
ngi
nst
ri
cti
ons"

Me:
"Fr
om ?"

Hekeptqui
etr
ightaf
ter
.Isatbackandhuf
fedcl
ear
lypi
ssedof
f.Iendedupdozi
ngof
f.

*MUZI*

Itri
edcall
ingtheNumberPal esasentthemessagewithanditsaidi
tdoesn'
texistsoimeerl
y
concludedthatthiswassomeki ndofJoke.Ihavedeletedal
lhernumbersonmyphone.If elt
bettert
hany est
erday.Iopenedmyey esf r
om myshortNapandi l
ookbymysi deandXoli
l
eis
sti
llupandreadingthebooki gavet
oher .Shei
ssil
entandherslowbreathi
ngsandherti
me
thatshetakestoblinkmesmer i
zeme.Iaskedhertostayinherewhil
eitakeanap.Idi
dn'
twant
tolethergoatthatmoment .

Me:
"Iam sur
pri
sedy
ouar
enott
ir
ed."

Isai
dst
ret
chi
ngmy
sel
fandshegotupf
astcl
osi
ngt
hebookandbowed.

Me:
"Pl
easest
opdoi
ngt
hatandj
ustr
elax."

Xol
i
le:
"Sor
ryy
ourhi
ghness"

Shewasst
il
ll
ooki
ngdown.Thi
swomani
sbeaut
if
uli
tel
lyou.

Me:
"Tel
lmeabouty
our
sel
fandsi
tdown"

Shesatdownandi
lookedatherbef
oreshecannar
rat
ewhoshei
s..
..
..

250
.

*
LANDSWA*

Bythet i
mei wokeupiwasatt heai r
por t
.Idi
dn'tknowwhatwasgoi ngonandt hedr i
verst
il
l
i
gnor edmepoi ntbl
anktil
ligav
eup.Weboar dedonwhatseemst obeapr i
vat
eJet .Awhole
partofmewasexci t
edimeant hi
swoul dbemyf ir
stti
mer i
dingapl ane.Iam scaredaswell.I
washungr yt oosoigottoeatthere.Ibuckledupandt hejettookof f
.Iwasnervousandscar ed
thatitcrashbutwheni tl
andedall ofthatVanished.Igotoutandther ewerebuffguysstanding
thereinallNavy.Iwasscaredatthewayt heylooked.Oneoft hem said."Arey
ouLandi swa?"I
nodded.Wor dscouldn'
tleavemymout h.

Hi
m:"Comewi
thus"

Ifol
l
owedthem ast heysurr
oundedmeandt ur
nsoutwewer einKZNbyi don'
tknowwher ebut
somewhere.Wegoti nt
hecarandsomegoti ntheothercar
sandtheydr
ov eof
fall4blackcars.
Iwasscar
ed.Idon'tknowt hesepeopl
eandwher etheyaret
aki
ngme.Itwasal ngdri
veandi
l
onghaelostbuil
dingsandwhat not
.Thewindowswer edimmedandonet hi
ngseperat
edt he
backandfrontsoidon'tknowwher ewearegoing.

Me:
"iam hungr
y"

Isaidt
ot hi
sguywithmeatt heback.Heopenedt
hebackofthedri
ver
sseatandBilt
ongsand
othert
reatsappear
d.Wellcan'
tbechoosyatthemoment.Ist
art
edtoeatt
heni dozedoff
.I
waswokenupwheni thi
nkwear r
ived.

Guy:
"Wehav
ear
ri
ved"

Thankgod.Theygotmeoutandsur roundedmeandwal kedmei nsi

dethi
splace.Itwasahuge
bui
lding.av erydi
str
aughtpl ace.Thisplaceiscreepy.Wegoti nandtherewerepeopleby
comput er
syouknowi tlookedlikethosespystuffforreal.Theoneguywaswal ki
ngwithme
gotintoaroom andtherewasamanwhol ookedli
keNkonzo.Myhear twasskipping.Di
d
somet hi
ngwr onghappentohi m ?Tear swerepri
ckli
ngmyey es.

Man:
"leav
eus"

Theguyl
eftandhest
oodup.Hewasscar
yingmeandi
wasr
eal
l
yscar
ed.

Man:
"Wher
ear
eyouf
rom MDl
ami
ni?
"

If
iddl
edwi
thmyf
inger
s.

Me:
"Pr
etor
iaBaba"

251
Iwasl
ooki
ngdown.

Man:
"Mmmh"

Het
henwal
kest
owar
dst
hedoor
.

Man:
"iwi
l
lbewat
chi
ngy
ouMaDl
ami
ni"

Hewal kedout.Isi
ghedof
freli
vedandisatont hecouchinthi
sroom.I don'
tknowwhatis
happening.Il
aidonitwhi
leclosi
ngmyey esasst i
l
lsleepwantedtoconsumemeorwasi j
ust
bored?If el
tahandonmycheekandi openedmyey esandimethis.Theybecameglossyand
isatupandat t
ackedhi
m wit
hahugandhegr oaned.Iletgoofhim andhehadarm suppor
t.

Me:
"Ar
eyouok?"

Nkonzo:
"It
sjustasmal
lgunshot"

Me:"Small
...
.smal
lgunshotNkonzoar
eyouki
ddi
ngme,
whatcanbesmal
laboutagunshot
Ngi
tshel
eheh(Tellme)"

Hekissedmeandi
ret
urnedi
t.Hehel
dmywai
stwi
thhi
sonehandandmyhandswentt
ohi
s
neckandhebr
okei
toff
.

Nkonzo:
"Cal
m downi
am ok"

Me:
"Iam gl
ady
ouar
eok"

Hesmirked.Iburi
edf
aceonhi
shar
dchestandt
ooki
nhi
sscent.Hi
sper
fumemi
xedwi
th
ni
cot
ine.Ilookedupt
ohim.

Nkonzo:
"Youar
egai
ningwei
ght
.Ihopeev
ery
onei
str
eat
ingy
ouandGogogood"

Me:
"Yesev
ery
one.Exceptmymot
her"

Thedooropenedandacaramelmi
niBr
east.IsayMinibecauseNkonzoi
stherealone. .
Anywayhewassocuteandhadagr
eatbodystr
uctur
e.Theywer ebot
hsoripped.

Guy:
"sor
ryBoss"

Nkonzo:
"Whatdoy
ouwantNt
sika?
"

Hesmi
rked.

Nt
sika:
"ihear
d"

Nkonzo:
"about?"

Hehadaser
iousf
ace.

252
Nt
sika:
"aboutagi
rl
."

Nkonzo:
"So?Wher
edoesi
tconcer
nyou"

Me:
"Nkonzo"

Hecanber
udeatt
imes.

Nt
sika:
"Ouuhy
ouar
ebeaut
if
ul"

Me:
"Thanky
ou"

Nkonzo:
"Getout"

Nt
sika:
"OkShakaZul
u.Seey
oul
ater"

Hecl
osedt
hedoorandNkonzowentt
olocki
t.Het
urnedt
ome.

Nkonzo:
"Comeher
e"

Thewayhesaidi
tinhisdeephoar
sev
oicefil
l
edbubbl
esi
nmyst
omach.Ist
oodupandi
wal
kedtowar
dshim andheheldmywaistandper
kedmyl
i
ps.

Me:
"iam gl
ady
ouar
eokandback"

Nkonzo:
"Iam St
il
lonmymi
ssi
on.Iam goi
ngbackt
omor
row "

Me:
"Nkonzo"

Nkonzo:
"It
smyl
i
feandJobLandi
swa"

Me:
"Iknowbut.
..
."

Nkonzo:
"Youhav
eMuzi
"

Ihuggedhi
m andhehuggedmeback.

Nkonzo:
"Takecar
eofy
our
sel
fforme."

Tear
sst
reameddownmyf
ace.
..

I
NSERTTHI
RTY-
SEVEN.

253
.

*MUZI*

Iwassti
l
llooki
ngatherwhil
eshenarrat
edwhoXol
il
eistome.Iwaslostbyt
hesoundofher
voi
ceandherdimplet
hatwouldappearwhi
l
eshetal
ked.Shel
ookedsobeaut
if
ulandcut
ewhil
e
shefi
ddl
edwi t
hherfi
nger
s.

Xol
i
le:
"Iam t
heonl
ychi
l
dathome.Thatmey
ourhi
ghness"

Me:
"Youar
eamazi
ng"

Shel
ookeddownandi
putmyf
inger
sunderherchi
nandl
i
ftedherf
aceupsoshecanl
ookat
me.

Me:
"Pl
easel
ookatme"

Shedi
dandthoseHazel
eyeshy
pnot
izedme.Theywer
egl
assyandbeaut
if
ul.Il
eaned
for
war
dandshepull
edback.

Xol
i
le:
"Ishoul
dgoandhel
pot
her
syouehi
ghness"

Shest
oodupandi
didt
ooandhel
dherar
m.

Me:
"Xol
i
lei
am sor
ryf
orwhati
did"

Shedi
dn'
tsayany
thi
ng.

Me:
"Xol
i"

Shekeptqui
etandit
urnedhert
ofacemeandshewascr
ying.Ihel
dheri
nnyar
msand
embraceherasshecri
edonmychest.

Me:
"Shhi
am sor
ry"

Shepul
l
edoutoft
heembr
ace.

Xol
i
le:
"Ihav
etol
eav
eyourhi
ghness"

Isi
ghedthennoddedandshebowedbef
orewal
ki
ngout
.DamnMuzi
thatwast
oosoonbuti
coul
dn'
tresist
.Sheissobeaut
if
ul.

254
*XOLI
LE*

Itouchedmyl ips.Iknowwedi dn'

tki ssbutjustthathewasi nches.Awayf r
om kissi
ngme
sentdiff
erentsignalsthroughoutmywhol ebody.Iwal kedDownt hest air
sstil
lplaci
ngmyt i
ny
fi
ngersonmypi nklipsinthoughtsofhowper f
ectt hatmani s.Hei shandsomeandcar efree
andcaring.Hisgirl
friendisLuckytohav ehim.Ohmygod.Hehasagi r
lfr
iendandi al
most
ki
sseshi m, nowi feelbadanddi r
ty.Ineedtowashmysel fofft
hedi r
t.Imett heQueenf eeding
herdaughter.Sheissuchabeaut i
fulbaby.Shel ookedatmeandi greetedwhi l
ebowi ng

Me:
"MyQueen"

Queen:
"goandboi
lwat
erf
ormei
ntheki
tchen"

Me:
"Asy
ouwi
shmyQueen"

Iwal
kedoutandwentt
otheki
tchenanddi
dasi
wast
old

*NKONZO*

Ilookedatherasshel ai
donmybar echestwi thherl
ipssl i
ght l
ypout edandherhai rbyherf ace.
Istretchedmyf ixedar mjusttor emov ethehai randigroanedabi thurtingmy sel
fandshe
mov ed.Ir emovedt hehai randj ustwat chedhersl eepandi kissedherf orehead.Iam j ust
happyshei sherelay ingonmeev ent houghi twouldbet hel astiknow.Ir iskedcomi ngher e
whi l
est i
llonmymi ssi ononlybecausei hav ebeenkeepi ngmyey esonMongezi andhei s
gettingtooclose.Idon' tl
ikethat .I
tsf unnyhowMongezi andLandi swal ooksoal ikey etwi t
hout
reli
sationbutallhonest yt
her easonwhyi am hereisbecausei missedherandwhenshecr i
ed
throught hephonei knewt hati am riskingmyl i
feandy earsoff ri
endshipwi thMuzi butitfeel
s
wor thitandidontknowwhy?Mybl oodr ushesasourski nsar etouchingandsheshi f
tsagai n
andi f
eelwarm.If eel myhear tmel tthei ceaway .Shest artstoshakewhi lesweat i
ngand
speaksonherownt henshest ops.Il ookatherneckl aceandi t
sgl owingandsoasmi nebutit
stops.Iki ssheragai nandsheopensherey es.

Me:
"Sl
eep"

Sher
ubbedherey
es.

255
Landi
swa:
"ineedt
hebat
hroom andi
am hungr
y"

Isatupandshewal
kedtothebat
hroom.Weareinahousei
nthemi
ddl
eofnowher
e.Justt
he
twoofus.Shecomesbackandipullhert
ome.

Me:
"Let
sgomakesomef
oodf
ory
ou"

Iwon'tev enaskwhyshei shungryat1am i nthemor ni

ng.Sheal readysnappedatmeehenshe
at
eaf teranhoursoi dontwantthst
.Itookmyci gar
rett
ecausei needasmoket ocalm down.
Toknowt hatiwil
lbedyingsoonisnotgood.Themi ssioni am ini sverydangerousanddeal i
ng
withRussiansandMaf iaisnotagoodcombo.Wewentdownt hest air
sandshegoti nt he
ki
tchenwhi leiwettotakeasmokeout side.Theskyiscl earandt hebr eezei
scoolwhi lehitt
ing
myhai rseverywhere.Il
itupmycigaret
teandi tookapuf f.Idraggedi tandilookedatmyKent
ci
garretteandi t
ookanotheronewhil
ei nthoughts.Ifelthandssnakebehi ndmeandi tooka
l
astpuf fandi t
hrewmyci gar
ett
eawaybyt hefir
eplaceout side.Ipulledhertostandinfrontof
meandshel aidherheadonmychestandi ki
ssedthetopofherheadandwej ustst
oodi n
si
lence.

Landi
swa:
"It
swei
rd"

Ikeptqui
et.

Landi
swa:
"Howwear
eli
ket
hisi
tswei
rd"

I
treal
l
yis.

Me:
"Yeahi
tis"

Shetur
nedt omeandlookedmeintheey
esunti
lsheshyedawayandil
ookedatherandi
ki
ssedherl
ips.Eacht
imeishar
eakisswi
thherifeell
i
keiam l
ovi
nghermoreandmore.I
breaki
tof
fandshehashereyescl
osedwhil
ebreathi
ng.

Me:
"Openy
ourey
es"

Shedi
d.

Me:
"Comeher
e"

Ipul
ledherinsi
det
hehousesndshetookt
hef
oodshemadeandwesatonthecouchand
cuddled.Thisi
hav
eneverdoneei
thawomanAndt
hati
scuddl
ingandal
loft
hatbutiwoul
ddo
i
tforlandi
swa.

*
THEMBEKA*

256
.

Mymot herispani
cki
ngov erlandiswathatshehasn'tcamehomef rom y
ester
day.TheQueen
evenextendedherst
ayuntil
Landi swaisfound.Iwasntbotheredatall
whathappenedtoher.
Onethingiknowisthatsheishoei ngwhereeversheis.Thatswhatsheknowsbestt obea
whore.Iwaswat chingyvwhiletheywentoutogoandl ookforherwhenitswit
chedoff
.I
st
oodup.

Me:
"Thenj
i
we!
"

Ical
l
edherout.Hai
bokant
iwher
eist
hismai
d.

Me:
"Thenj
i
weman!"

Shedi
dntr
espond.

"
Thembeka".
itur
nedandi
scr
eamed.

I
twasMkhokhel
iwut
hbl
ooddr
ippi
ngonhi
m.

Mkhokhel
i:
"thet
rut
h,t
het
rut
hwi
l
lher
eveal
ed."

Hedi
sappear
ed.

"itwi
l
lberev
eal
edThembekaitur
nedandhewasst andingbehi
ndme.Iscr
eamedandr anup
thest
air
sandgoti
nmyroom andclosedt
hedoorandi cri
ed.Whyishehaunt
ingme.?

*
LANDI
SWA*

iknowal otofy ouarehati

ngmeatt hemomentbuti canthel
pf eelsodr
awntoNkonzoand
wannaexpl oremor eofwhor eall
yisNkonzoMkhi zethatmysteri
ousguywit
hascarylook.I
wantt oknowt hat.Iam sur
et hatgogoisworri
edsickatthemomentbuti wil
lwor
rylaerabout
thatfornowi am enjoyi
ngthel i
ttl
etimeihavewit
hNkonzo.Iwokeuoandhewasnotnextt o
meandi hearthebat hr
oom doorooenandhecameouti nanav yout
fi
tandwitht
hechainand
necklacear oundhisneck.Ihav etoadmitthathedidlooksexy.Igotofft
hehedandi was
hedingthebat hroom whenhespoke.

257
Nkonzo:
"Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?"

Me:
"Tot
hebat
hroom goodmor
ning"

Nkonzo:
"okhur
ry"

Hesaidandiwenttot
hebat hr
oom andt
ookashowerwi t
hthethi
ngsif
oundt
her
e.igotout
wit
hat owel
wrapoedaroundmybodyandisawhim si
tt
ingonthebed.It
ookt
helot
ionwhen
hespoke.

Nkonzo:
"(
cleart
hroat)Cani
lot
iony
ou?
".

i
lookedathi
m.

Me:
"uhm sur
e"

igavehi
mthel ot
ionandhestoodbehindmeandhesqueezedi toutofi
tscontai
nerintohi
s
handsandhestar
tedtoappl
yi tonmybody.Iwasmoani ngtohowhisaloneworkinghand
doeswonderst
omybody .Hi
st ouchandtr
ail
edkissesweakenedme.Ilookedthroughyhe
mirr
orandisawthemanagainbehindus.Iturnedandlookedbehi
ndusandt herewasnoone.

Nkonzo:
"ar
eyouok?"

Me:
"yes.It
houghti
sawsomet
hing"

Nkonzo:
"Youj
ustsawKhabazel
a"

me:
"wow"

i
laughed.Hechuckl
eandi
gotdr
essedt
hewel
eft
.

I
NSERTTHRI
TY-
EIGHT

*THEMBEKA*

258
.

ihavebeenCr yingwhil
einmyroom forhours.Icuddl
edmy sel
finbedandwheni trytocl
ose
myey esMkhokhel iwoul
dappear.Whyishehaunt i
ngme?Shoul dn'
thebehaunt i
nghis
daughterLandiswa.?Fearcrowdedmeandi wasn'tthatSt
rongConfidentwomani al
ways
str
ivetobebutt urnedi
ntot
hisFragi
l
et hi
ng.Therewasaknockont hedoorwhil
eiwasdeepin
myt houghts.

"Si
siVul
aimi
naUNokzol
a(Si
sopenupi
tsmeNokzol
a)".

Iam t
heolderoneandNokzolaisthesecondborn.Wedon'
tknowwhoourf atheri
sandmy
motherhasnevert
oldus.Isti
llhavebit
sofimagesofhim buti
tendsupt
here.AManinl
ove
wit
hawomanwhowaspr egnantthesecondti
me.Theknockbecomespersistent
.

Nokzol
a:"Hai
boVul
aBoh!(
Openup!
)"

Sti
ll
ididn'
tmov eandi
ncheandsheknockedfort
hel astti
mesendingmeintoanedgeof
anger.Ir
oughlygotupfr
om thebedandiwenttounlockthedoorandshehuggedme.Allt
he
angersndcursingiwasprepar
edtodowentdownt hedrainandij
ustcr
iedi
nherarms.

Nokzol
a:"Kuzol
unga(i
twi
l
lbeok)
"

Shesai
dwhi
l
erubbi
ngmyback.

Me:
"Hei
shaunt
ingmeNokzol
a.Whatdi
diev
erdot
othatman?
"

Shebr
eakst
hehugof
f.

Nokzol
a:"Whoi
shaunt
ingy
ou?
"

Me:
"Mkhokhel
i"

Shepushesmei
nsi
det
her
oom andcl
osest
hedoor.

Nokzol
a:"It
houghtwet
ookcar
eofev
ery
thi
ngandCl
eansed"

shet
hrowsberbagont
hebed

Me:
"(t
ear
y)heappear
sbl
oody
.Iseebl
oodev
ery
wher
e"

Nokzol
a:"Shi
t!"

Shesi
tsdownont
hebedandr
ubsherf
ace.Heappear
s.Iseehi
m behi
ndher
.

Me:
"Nokzol
ahei
sbehi
ndy
ou!
"

Iscr
eamedout
.Shej
umpedof
fthebedandherey
espoppedout
.Thebl
oodkeptondr
ippi
ng

259
f
rom hi
sfacet
othef
loor
.

Mkhokhel
i:
"Ni
na(y
out
wo)"

Nokzol
a:"Fi
rei
nthenameofj
esuschr
isti
repeatf
ir
e!"

Mkhokhel
il
aughs

Mkhokhel
i:
"Thet
rut
hshal
lber
eveal
ed"

Hedi
sappear
edandwehr
eat
hedoutt
henhuggedeachot
her
.

Me:
"Iam scar
ed.May
heweshoul
dconsul
tMah"

Nokzol
a:"No!Thatwi
l
llandusi
njai
l
.Itwi
l
lmeanwehav
etogetr
idofMahaswel
l"

Wecr
iedi
neachot
her
sar
ms.

Nokzol
a:"Nt
ombi
lookaf
terus"

Shesai
dthr
ought
het
ear
s.

*MONGEZI*

Ndabai
ssi
tt
ingopposi
teuswhil
eshaki
nghishead.I
tsal
lpar
toft
hepl
an.ThewayLandi
swa
t
rust
smesheismakingever
ythi
ngsoeasy
.

Landi
swa:
"Yohumunt
ungekeangakhul
i
phal
il
ah(Aper
soncannotbef
atf
rom her
e)"

Ichuckl
ed.

Me:
"youhav
eici
ngony
ourf
ace"

Landi
swa:
"That
sbecauset
hesedonut
sar
eni
ce."

Shet
ookaser
vletandshewi
pedherf
ace.

Ndaba:
"yousur
edol
ookal
i
ke."

260
Igav
ehi
m adeat
hst
are.Landi
swal
aughed.

Landi
swa:
"May
bei
tsbecausewegoodf
ri
endst
hatmakesusl
ookal
i
ke"

Ndaba:
"hei
smybest
fri
endbutwedon'
tlookal
i
ke"

Me:
"(bangi
ngt
het
abl
e)That
senough!
"

Heraiseshishandsandthemai
dwalksoutfr
om thehouse.Wear
esi
tt
ingbyt
hepool
side.
Sheisfoll
owedbyPalesawhoseemspissedoff
.Istabdup.

Me:
"It
sokI
vyy
oumaygo"

I
vy:
"yessi
r"

Shebowsherheadandwal
ksaway.Landi
swai
sst
uff
ingherf
ael
i
kenobodi
esbusi
ness.

Pal
esa:
"Youknowi
can'
tbel
i
evehi
m!"

Sheshout
ed.

Me:
"Pal
esal
etsgot
omyst
udy"

Landi
swa:
"Hi
"

Pal
esal
ookedatherwi
thaf
rown.

Pal
esa:
"Andwhoar
eyou?"

Ndaba:
"Thi
sisl
andi
swaLakhet
hisPal
esaakaMbal
i"

Hesai
dst
il
lonhi
sphone.

Pal
esa:
"pl
easedon'
tbef
orwar
dtuu"

Me:
"Let
sgot
omyst
udy"

Isai
dtaki
ngherhandbutshey
ankedi
t.

Pal
esa:
"Noi
am notst
ayi
ng.Youknownj
eiam gonnaKi
l
lMuzi
forr
eal
whodoeshet
hinkhei
s
!"

Shewasshout
ing.

Me:
"Pal
esa"

Isai
dinbet
weenmyt
eet
hinav
ercommandi
ngmannerbutshewasn'
tli
steni
ng.

Pal
esa:
"Justbecausehei
sRoy
alt
yhet
hinkshecanl
eav
ebabi
esi
nme"

261
Landi
swa:
"Iam sor
rydi
dyousayMuzi
?Asi
nMuzi
kay
iseQwabe?
"

Ndabawasl
aughi
ng.

Me:
"Pal
esa!
"

Pal
esa:
"Yeshi
m.Wher
edoy
ouknowhi
m?"

Landi
swa:
"di
dyouj
ustsaybabi
es?"

Pal
esa:
"idi
dn'
tthi
nky
ouwer
edeaf"

Landi
swast
oodupwi
thherbag.

Landi
swa:
"Iam sor
ryi
hav
etogo"

Me:
"Landi
swa"

Ndaba:
"Leav
ehert
ocool
down"

It
urnedt
oPal
esa.

Me:
"Fucky
our
uinedal
lmypl
ans!
!"

Ichar
gedt
owar
dsher
.

Me:
"Gi
vemeagunNdabaandl
etmeendher"

Shewasst
eppi
ngbackscar
ed.

Pal
esa:
"Iam sor
ry"

Me:
"sor
rywontf
ixi
t!"

Ndaba:
"Itwi
l
lwor
kiny
ourf
avour
.Wecant
urnt
his"

Me:
"How?
"

Ndaba:
"Thecof
li
ct..I
twi
l
ldi
str
actt
hem ear
li
ert
hanant
ici
pat
ed"

Me:
"(si
gh)i
dontknowhonest
ly"

Iwal
kedi
nsi
demyhousef
rust
rat
ed.Pal
esacanbeadr
amaQueenwhenshel
i
kes.

262
*MUZI*

iwasal
readypr
epar
ingt
oleave.Mom hascamebackandi mustsayspendingsometi
meat
homegavemeclari
fi
cat
ionthatineededl
ikef
reshai
randmind.Nowi wil
lgobackt
oPret
ori
a
cl
earmi
nded.Ihuggedmymot herri
ghtaf
teri
haveplacedmythi
ngsi
nt hecar
.

Mom :
"Youwi
l
lvi
sitagai
n?"

Shesai
dwi
tht
ear
s.

Me:
"yesi
wil
lvi
sistagai
n"

shehuggedmeagai
n

Dad:
"Youar
ebaby
inghi
m"

Mom :
"Hei
smybaby"

wel
aughedandi
kissedki
tt
lepr
incessSphesi
khul
uandt
henf
istbumped.

Menzi
:"Takecar
eofy
our
sel
f"

Me:
"iwi
l
l"

Il
ookedbehindmyf amil
yandsawXol
il
eansshet urnedar
oundandwalkedof
f.Iwal
kedtomy
catandigotinandmypboneranganditwasLandiswa.Ianswer
ed.I
thasbeenalongti
me
andihav
ebeeni gnori
ngheecakl
sher
eandthere.

Landi
swa:
"Ar
eyoust
il
lcomi
ngbackt
oday?"

Me:
"yeah,
isev
eryt
hingok?"

Landi
swa:
"yesi
tsj
ustt
hati
missy
out
hatal
l"

Me:
"Imi
ssy
out
ok.Looki
am ont
her
oadi
hav
etogo"

l
andi
swa:
"Ok.By
e"

i
hungandansst
art
edt
odr
iveof
f.

263
*LANDI
SWA*

Idontknowhowi feel
att
hemoment .It
sli
keal
lthesemessedupsituat
ionsar
ejustadr
eam
andiwil
lwakeupinNtombi'
sarms.Orherinmyar msinourli
tt
lehome.Igothomeandi went
upthestai
rspassi
ngMom andNokzola.

Nokzol
a:"Thi
sthi
ngofy
our
sisdi
srespect
ful
.Shei
snotev
engr
eet
ing"

Shecli
ckedhertonguebuti
didnt
tmi ndher.Iwenttomyr oom andi
toonashowerandcame
outandiworetr
acksuit
sasitwil
lgetabitcol
dt oday.It
henti
edmyhairaf
terandit
ookmy
bagandi wal
kedout.

Me:
"Gogongi
say
obonauMuzi
(gogoi
am goi
ngt
oseeMuzi
)"

Gogo:
"isheback?"

Me:
"hei
sonhi
sway
.Iwantt
ocookf
orhi
m."

Thenj
i:
"not
hingi
sni
cet
hancomi
nghomet
oahomecookedmeal
"

Me:
"yes"

Gogo:
"okby
e"

iwav edandi wal kedoutandaskedt hedri

vertodri
vemet here.Hedroppedmeandt he
securit
ywasntahast lecausetheyknewwhoi am.Ihadaspar ekeysoiwentinandthen
start
edt oclean.Iwasconf usedandwant edtojustf
orgetaboutwhatisgoi
ngon.Ichangedhis
beddingf orhim andtheni wenttocooksupper.Iwasntsurehoworwhati sgoingtohappen.I
atesomef oodwhi lecooki
ngandt hekit
chendooropened.Iguessi wasindeepthought
sthati
didnthearhim comei n.Hecameandki seedmycheek.

Muzi
:"Lum l
um "

i
smi
l
edandweshar
edabr
iefki
ss.

Muzi
:"Damni
missedy
ou.Il
ovet
hesmel
l"

Me:
"goandf
reshenupwhi
l
eif
ini
shupher
e."

Heki
ssedmycheekagai
n.

Muzi
:"Ok.Letmegot
hen"

Hewentuot
hest
air
sandi
lookedathi
m.Iwashol
dingt
hekni
feshar
plyi
dontseemy
sel
fasa

264
ratchedfi
ghterno.Iwascal
mi nmostsi
tuat
ionsandthoughtr
ati
onall
y.Itur
nedofft
hest
ov e
andt ookofftheapronandi
washedmyhandsandwentupt hestai
rs.Igoti
nhisbedr
oom and
icoukdheart heshowerwat
er.Hethencameoutwithatowelwrappedaroundhi
sbodyandi
foundmy sel
fdr ool
ing.

Muzi
:"I
tsal
lyour
sbabe."

idon'
tknowanymor
e.Idontf
eel
goodabouttonightbutihav
etoleti
toutt
oo.Hewentt
oth
cl
osetandhecameoutweari
ngsweat
svest.Isawhim snaphisf
inger
s.

Muzi
:"ar
eyouokl
um l
um ?
"

Il
ookedathi
m.Wheredidwebothgowrong?Whathappenedher
e?Wewer
ebot
hsoi
nlov
e
wi
theachotherandi
sti
l
llov
ehim.Idontknowi
am confused.

Muzi
:"Lum Lum speakt
ome"

Me:
"Whoi
sPal
esa?
"

Isawhi
m swal
l
owandcl
osehi
sey
es.

Hemov
edawayf
rom me.
.

Muzi
:"i
don'
tknowwhot
hati
s"

Hewasntl
ooki
ngatme.Tear
srol
l
eddownmyey
es.

Me:
"Di
dyoui
mpr
egnanther?
"

Muzi
:"FuckXol
i
leokj
ustl
et.I
tgo!
!"

Il
ookedathi
m puzzl
ed

Me:
"Whoi
sXol
i
le?
"

Ihear
dhi
m cur
seunderhi
sbr
eat
h.

Muzi
:"i
am hungr
y"

Hewal
kedoutoft
hebedr
oom andi
fol
l
owedhi
m.

Me:
"youkeeponav
oidi
ngmyquest
ions.Whoi
sXol
i
le?
"

Muzi:
"youwantt
oknowthet
rut
hfi
ney
esi
sleptwi
thPal
esaandy
esshei
spr
egantwi
thmy
chi
l
dLandiswal
eti
tgo!
!"

If
eltadaggerbei
ngPl
ungedi
nmyhear
t.

Me:
"Si
ncewear
erev
eal
i
ngt
het
rut
higuessi
shoul
dto.Icheat
edaswel
l"

265
Iwal
kedawayf
rom hi
m.

Hegrabbedmyhairandslappedmeti
lli
sawJesushimsel
fandletgoofme.Mycheekswere
burni
ng.Icriedwhi
l
eholdingmycheeksandthewayhi
schestmov edupanddownhewasnot
theMuziiknowbutsomeoneelse.Imovedbackwar
ds.

Muzi
:"Whoi
she?"

Me:
"Iam sor
ry"

i
cri
edandhehel
dmyneck.

Hewasst
rangl
i
ngme.Icoul
dn'
tbr
eat
he.

Muzi
:"Whot
hef
ucki
sheLandi
swa?
!"

Hi
svoi
cer
oar
edt
hehouse.Hekeptonsqueezi
ng.Iwasl
osi
ngmybr
eat
h.

Me:
"It
s..
..
it
s..
.i
tsNkonzo"

Iswearisawsomethingscaryfl
asht
hroughhisey
es.Beforeiknewitiwasr oll
i
ngdownt hese
l
ongstai
rsandiheardcracki
ngsoundsfrom myheadwhi
chmeansi hi
titandgotdown.My
vi
sionmyblur
yandi cantastebl
ood.Myheadwaspoundi ngandmybodyi tfel
twarmli
quid.I
bli
nkedafewti
mesandi sawthemanagainbefor
eicl
osedmyey esandotwasl i
ght
sout.

I
NSERTTHI
RTY-
NINE

*MUZI*

Thepai niwasf eel

inginmychestwasunbear abl
e.ThethoughtofNkonzobeingont opof
Landi
swabr oughtpainintoi
t.Icoul
dn'tthinkstrai
ghtbutthebetr
ayaltheybroughtuponme.I
cheatedonLandi swawi tharandom gurlshehasnotr el
ati
onstoandshewentf ormy
bestf
riend.Iwasn'tawar eofmysurroundingsuntil
aringi
ngphonedisturbedmyt hought
sandi

266
snappedout .Iwenttothebedroom andtookalookati tanditwasNomacal l
i
ngLandiswa.I
tookitanditstoppedri
ngi
ngandi wentoutofthebedroom andwal keddownt hest
air
sand
wheni rechedthebott
om.Regretsunkinwhenmyey eslaidonherli
felessbodyonapool off
blood.Icrouchednexttohertofeel
herpulsebuticouldn't
.Iwaspanicking.

Me:
"Babywakeup"

Shedi
dn'
tmov
e.Thephoner
angandi
twasNomaagai
nandi
answer
edwhi
l
eshaki
ng.

Noma:
"Aboutt
imeLandi
swababesi
..
..
..
"

Me:
"Nomai
messedup"

Noma:
"Muzi
?"

Me:
"Shei
snotbr
eat
hing.Ican'
tfeel
herpul
se.Thei
sbl
oodev
erwher
e"

Mybr
ainj
ustshutdown.Icoul
dhav
ehandl
edt
hesi
tuat
ionbet
tert
hanwhati
did.Il
etanger
cr
owdme.

Noma:
"Cal
lanAmbul
ance.Takehert
othehospi
tal
Muzi
,Don'
tjustst
andt
her
e.!
!"

Sheshoutedthenhungupandiputt
hephonei nmypocketandir
antotaket
hecarkey
sandi
opendthecardoorsatt
hebackandiraninsi
deandipi
ckedherup.Andthewayshewasbr
oke
myheart.Ifel
talumpbuil
dupinmythroat.

Me:
"Don'
tleav
emeLi
keNt
ombi
Lum l
um.Iam sor
ry"

Iputherdownatt
hebackseatandi
closedt
hedoorandi
wentt
othef
rontandi
goti
nand
droveoff.

Ihavebeenhereforhour
snowatthehospi
talandit
sstar
ti
ngtobedawn.IseeNomarushingi
n
wit
hAmandaandMandl abehi
ndherandshehuggedme.Iaskedthatshedoesn'
tinf
orm
Landiswa'
sgrandmotherunt
ilwear
ecert
ainaboutherst
ate.Webreakt
hehugandAmandai s
l
ookingatme.

Me:
"Amandahey,
Mandl
a"

Mandl
a:"Sho"

Inodded.

267
Noma:
"Whathappened?"

Me:"Ij
ustf
oundherl
ayi
ngdownt
hest
air
s.Iwast
aki
ngashowerwheni
hear
dat
hudandi
got
outt
ogoandcheck"

Amanda:
"wow"

Shecl
appedherhandst
wice.Thedoct
orar
ri
ved.Ir
ushedt
ohi
m.

Me:
"Howi
sshedoc?"

Dr:
"Shei
sgoi
ngt
obef
ine.Wemanagedt
ogett
heswel
l
ingdownf
rom herbr
ain"

Noma:
"Canweseeher?
"

Dr:
"Yesy
oumay.Shei
sinanor
mal
war
dsi
ncewet
ookheroutofI
CUaboutt
wohour
sago.
Shei
safi
ght
er"

i
sighedofr
eli
ef.

Me:
"Thanky
oudoc."

Amanda:
"Iam gonnaseeherf
ir
st.Shei
smysi
steraf
teral
l"

Shewal
kedof
f.

Noma:
"I.Am gl
adshei
sok"

Me:
"met
oo"

Noma:
"Comel
etsgo"

Me:
"Iwi
l
lseeherl
ater
.Iam t
ryi
ngt
opr
ocessev
ery
thi
ng."

Noma:
"Ok.Letmego"

Shewalkedaway.Iam j
ustscared.ScaredtofaceLandiswaaft
erthemonsterthati
tur
nedi
nto.
It
ookmycarkey sandmyclotheswer edrenchedinblood.Igotinanddrov
eof fhomeandj
ust
wentt
ot akeashower.Thebloodisstil
lther
eandi am gonnacl
eanitaf
tertheshower.

*AMANDA*

268
.

Tbestat
ethatisawmyf ri
endinwasnost ateanyoneshoul
dn'
tbeinthatst
ate.Yesshewasi
n
anormalwardbutmyey escouldn'
tlookather.Iwalkescl
osert
oherastearsstr
eameddown
mycheeksandi touchedherhandsandt heyfel
tcold.

Me:
"Laaah"

Ibur
stedi
ntoal
oudcr
yandi
gotcl
osert
oherf
acet
ohughergent
ly.

Me:
"Landi
swadon'
tleav
emepl
ease.Pl
easeLandi
swa."

If
eltsomeonehol
dmef
rom behi
ndandi
twasMandl
a.Hehuggedme.

Mandl
a:"shei
sgonnabeok"

Me:"Lookather
.Herfaceisswol
l
en.Hernecki
sgr
een.Hercheeki
spur
ple.Thathust
arddi
d
somethi
ngtoheriknowi
t!!Howcoul
dhe!"

Icr
iedandNomawal
kedi
n.

Noma:
"ohmygodLandi
swa"

Me:
"don'
tev
ent
binkofcomi
ngi
n.Getout!
"

Mandl
a:"Amanda!
"

Hescol
ded

Noma:
"What?"

Me:
"Getout
.Yourbr
otherdi
dthi
stomyf
ri
endi
knowi
t!"

Iwasscr
eami
ng.

Noma:
"Muzi
woul
dn'
thur
taf
ly"

Me:
"buti
do"

i
tookt
bechai
randwentt
owar
dsherbutMandl
ast
oodi
nbet
weenus.

Mandl
a:"babycal
m down"

Me:
"lookatherMandl
a"

Nomawascr
ying.

Me:
"shei
sinpai
n"

269
Mandl
a:"Iknow.Putt
hechai
rdown"

Iputi
tdownsl
owl
yandhecameandhuggedmeandi
cri
edonhi
schest
.

Me:
"itpai
nsmet
oseeherl
i
ket
hat"

Il
ett
het
ear
sfl
ow.

*
THEMBEKA*

Sinceyest
erdayNokzoladecidedt
ostaywit
hme.I twasscar
ynowt oanexti
nctthatMkhokhel
i
comesev er
ywher eandmuchkor efor
ce.Iwasinthesbowert
akingashowe.Thatgoodfor
nothi
ngdaughterofmi nedidn'
tcomehome.Mxm.Any wayasi wasabouttogetout.The
steam f
rom thebathr
oom formedhim andi
havehadotwithhi
mt orment
ingme.

Me:
"Yi
niMkhokhel
iyi
ni?
"

Hel
ookedatme.

Mkhokhel
i:
"Mydaught
eri
ssuf
fer
ing"

Me:
"sowhathuh?Whatar
eyougonnado?
"

Ifel
ttheai
rleavemybodylikeiwasbei
ngsqueezedbyt
heneck.Myai
rwayf
inal
l
yopenedand
idroppedt
ot hefl
oorandcoughed.

Mkhokhel
i:
"thet
rut
hwi
l
lber
eveal
ed"

Hedi
sappear
edandi
ranoutoft
hebat
hroom cal
l
ingNokzol
a.

Mah:
"Ey
iVoet
sekt
hisi
snoty
ourhouset
oshout!"

Iwasbyt
hest
air
s.

Nokzol
a:"What?
"

shesawt
hati
wasshaki
ngandshehuggedme.

270
Me:
"heal
mostki
l
ledme."

Nokzol
a:"l
ets.Gety
oudr
essedcome."

wewalkedupthest
aursandtear
srandownmycheeks.Mkhokehl
ii
smaki
ngmeweak.He
shoul
dhaunthi
sdaughteri
fhewantshernotme.

*LANDI
SWA*

Iwaslooki
ngatGogowhileshewaspr ay
ingandeveryoneelsewhoishere.Eventhekingand
Queenarehereandmyinsidescr
inge.MyeyeslandonMuzi whoisl
ookingatmeandi l
ook
away.Every
onehadjoi
nedhands.Mybodyi sinexcruci
ati
ngpainbutit
sbet t
ernowt hant he
pai
nihadwheni wokeuptwoday sago.Gogof i
nall
ysaidAmenandweal lopenedourey es.

Queen:
"iam gl
ady
ouar
eok"

Ismi
l
ed

Me:
"yes"

Gogo:
"iwi
l
lcomebav
kandseey
out
omor
row "

sheki
ssesmycheek.

Ki
ng:
"wewi
l
ltakey
ouhome"

Noma:
"by
e"

Me:
"ihav
entseenAmanda"

Noma: "sheismadatmef ornoreason".inoddedandt heystar

tedwalki
ngoutandMuzi
remained.Icl
osedmyey
essoi can'
tjustseehim.Atnightthewayhel ookedandthewayhe
cahngedtosomeonefor
eign.Thewayi r
oll
eddownt hest ai
rsandthatcracki
ngsoundhaunt
ed
me.

Muzi
:"Lum l
um "

271
Me:
"Il
i
edt
othem "

Iopenedmyey esandlookedathim ashelookeddown.Thehospi

talcal
l
edt hepoli
cebecause
theyassumeditsabuse.Theycameherandi j
ustt
oldthem t
hatif
ell
buttheydidntbel
i
eveme
buttheyleti
tgo.Itri
edtositupbutitwashardhetr
iedtohelpmebutiref
uses.

Me:
"it
sfi
nei
candoi
t"

Muzi
:"i
justwannahel
pyou"

Me:
"it
sfi
nej
ust
..
..
..
"

Hecamecloseandiclosedmyey
eswaiti
ngforany
thi
nghecoul
ddoandiopenedtheaf
tera
whi
leandtear
srol
leddownmyeyes.Youcoul
dsethehur
tinhi
seyest
hatiwasscaredohim.I
f
earedhi
m.

Me:"(cry
ing)iam sorr
y.Iam sor
ryt
hati
cheat
edony
ouwi
thNkonzo.Ishoul
dn'
thav
eandi
t
waswrongofus.Iam sorr
y"

Iwi
pemyt
ear
swassi
l
ent
.

Muzi :
"iam sorr
yforhitt
ingyouand..
..
and(hel
ookeddown)iam sor
ry.Iam sorr
yfot
cheati
ngandi mpregnanti
ng.Thewayir
eact
edwasuncall
edf
or.Iam sorryforcal
li
nguouhy
anotherwoman"

Me:
"itget
sthebet
terofus.Ical
l
edMenzi
byy
ournameear
ningmeasl
ap"

t
her
ewassi
l
ence.

Muzi
:"whendi
ditst
art?Whei
thappened?
"

Iswal
l
owed

Me:
"thedayy
oul
eftf
orpor
tugal
.Iswearwedi
dn'
tpl
ani
t.I
tjusthappenedi
am sor
ry"

Muzi
:"i
lov
eyouandt
hisi
smessedup"

Me:
"yeah.Reasonwhyweshoul
dleti
tgobef
orei
tspi
ral
sout"

Heshothi
sheadup

Muzi
:"dontsayt
hat"

Me:"despi
teever
ythi
ngMuzi whatyoudi
dthatl
andedmeher
e.Ican'
ttur
nbackf
rom i
t.I
t
st
art
sliket
hisandthenwhat?Mei nacof
fi
nnext"

Muzi
:"Landi
swai
woul
dn'
tki
l
lyou"

Me:
"youj
ustt
hrewmedownt
gest
air
sandchockedme.Ial
mostdi
ed.
"

272
Muzi
:"t
hatdoesntmeani
twi
l
lhappenagai
n"

Me:
"icanti
am sor
ry,
iam scar
edofy
ou"

Muzi
:"i
wil
lbeback"

Hewalkedput.Il
ovebi
m buti
tshar
.Yeswecheat
edbutt
hehi
tt
ing.Nahf
am no.TheDrwal
ked
i
naft
erMuzi l
eft.

Dr:
"igoty
ourr
esul
tsf
rom y
ourt
est
"

Me:
"Iam good?"

Dr:
"yes.Yougotonest
rongbabyi
nther
e"

Me:
"baby?"

Dr:
"youdi
dntknow?Ohy
ouar
e17weekspr
egnant"

Aft
erthatizonedoff.Myearswereburni
ngandfel
tli
ket
heywereblocked.Myhear
twas
beat
ingfastanditr
iedtobreat
h.Itr
iedtocal
cul
ateandt
hingsj
ustgotworse

I
NSERTFOURTY

*MUZI*

Iwalkedoutoft
hewar dandjustwenttomycar
.Ididn'
tknowwhattosayorhowi f
eel
.Il
ove
Landiswaandiam notabouttoloosehert
oanyoneevenNkonzo.Wegonnafi
xthi
sandst
ay
together
.Igoti
nandi dr
oveof f
.Itookoutmyphoneandstart
edtocal
lBaba.

Me:
"Baba"

273
Baba:
"Muzi
ufunani
(Muzi
whatdoy
ouwant?
)"

Me:
"Wher
eisNkonzo?
"

Baba:
"St
il
lonhi
smi
ssonwhy?"

Me:
"Nor
eason.Whenhecomesback.Tel
lhi
miwantt
oseehi
m"

Baba:
"Iam noty
oumai
lboymf
ana"

Hehungup.Nxf ucktheseMkhi
zeNiggas.Ij
ustsuddenl
yimagi
nedXol
i
le'
sfaceandher
cal
mness.Ineededthat.May
beishoul
dgohomef orafewdaysagai
nandiwil
lcomeback
al
ri
ght
.Yeaht hatsaplan.

*LANDI
SWA*

Rightaft
erthedoctorleftiwascryi
ng.Itcan'tbe.Noitcan'
thappen.It
ouchmyst omach
anditfeel
shard.Tearsforagaintothethoughtofhowlonel
yiam.Howmuchofapossi ble
chancethatmychildwon' thaveafather.Ther
eisaknockonthedoorandit
sMongezi.I
wonderhowhehear dthatiam i
nthehospi tal
.Hehasrosesi
nhishandandateddybear.

Mongezi
:"Mayi
comei
n?"

Inoddedandhewal kedi
nandisawthatManwhoi al
way
sseestandi
ngbehindMongezi
.I
wasst ar
ingathi
m andhowmuchhel ookedJustl
i
keMongezi
.Iwassnappedoutoft
hose
thoughtsbyhim br
ingingmebacktoli
fe.

Me:
"youl
ookj
ustl
i
kehi
m""

Mongezi
:"Justl
i
kewho?
"

Hegav
emeaquest
ioni
ngl
ook.

Me:
"Themanwhoal
way
sfol
l
owi
ngme"

Mongezi
:"Fol
l
owi
ngy
ou?Whoi
sthat
.Youar
enotmaki
ngsenseatal
l"

Isnappedoutofmyt
hought
soncemor
e.

Me:
"For
geti
sai
dany
thi
ng."

274
Mongezi
:"ok.Iam sor
ryy
ouar
eher
e"

Mongezi
issuchacar
ingf
ri
end.

Me:
"It
snoty
ourf
aul
t"

Mongezi
:"oncei
getmyhandsonMuzi
iwi
l
l.
..
..
"

Me:
"it
snothi
m.Ir
oll
eddownt
hest
air
s.

Mongezi
:"Yout
hinki
bel
i
evet
hat?
"

Ikeptqui
et.

Mongezi
:"hedi
dthi
sdi
dn'
the?"

Ikeptqui
etandt
ear
sgushedout
.Hehuggedme.

Mongezi
:"don'
twor
ryi
am her
enow."

Ineededt
ohearsomeonesayt
hat
.

*MONGEZI*

Ilookedatherasshel ai
dpeacefull
y.Ibr
eathedinandout.Thisisgettingmessedupwi theach
passingtime.Ihav ebeendreamingofdadt hesepastdaysandhehasbeenshout i
ng" my
daughter"ineverydream.Ihaveallmyli
fethatiam theonlychil
dbutsi nceNdabapresented
mewi thDNAt estshehaddonebehi ndmybackt hismorningnowi seei t
.Ourr
esemblance
andhowi am easi
lydrawntoher.Thethoughtthatiputmysisterinsuchdangerisbreakingme.
Ishouldbeprotecti
ngher.Sheistheonlyfamilyiam get
ti
ngalongwi th.Myphoner i
ngsandi
takeitoutandanswer .

Me:
"Yeah"

Ndaba:
"Pal
aceMi
ssi
oni
sont
hego"

Me:
"No.Wear
enotgoi
ngf
ort
het
hrown"

Ndaba:
"Whatdoy
oumeannow?Youar
ebacki
ngout?"

Me:
"Noi
am not
.Changeofpl
ans.Wear
egoi
ngf
ort
het
wins.Especi
all
yMuzi
"

275
Ndaba:
"Whatdi
dhedo?
"

Me:
"Youshoul
dseehowLandi
swal
ooks"

Ndaba:
"(whi
stl
e)Shi
tthat
sbad.Wewi
l
ltal
klat
er"

Me:
"Ok"

Ihungupandi
lookedupasi
fel
tapr
escence.

Me:
"Whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?"

Hi
m:"ishoul
dbeaski
ngyouthatQuesti
on.Youcanpl
ayar
oundev
ery
onebutherdon'
tev
ent
ry
mecauseiwi
llki
l
lyouwi
thouthesi
tat
ion"

Me:
"li
kei
am scar
edofy
ou"

Hewalkedi
ncloserandhi
saurainvadedt
hiswardhegotnexttol
andiswaandlookedatme
bef
orehepunchedmeandi tr
iedtoregai
nfrom t
hatandhetookouthisgunandpoint
editat
me.Itookmineout.

Him:"Thefuckyoudi
dthi
stoher
.Boi
iam gonnaFucky
ouupbef
orei
makey
oumeety
our
usel
essancestor
s"

Me:
"Ki
l
lmet
henbuti
am notgoi
ngdownwi
thoutaFi
ght
.Iwoul
dnev
erhur
tmysi
sterl
i
ket
hat"

Isawhi
sgunl
ower
ing

Hi
m:"Si
ster?
"

"Mongezi
"

Wel
ookedatt
hesi
deandi
twasLandi
swawaki
ngup.Wer
ushedt
ohersi
de.

*LANDI
SWA*

Thescenethatij
ustsawgotmybodycr i
ngi
ng.Itr
iedtositupandt
heybot
hwerei
nfrontof
meinaf l
ash.Idi
dn'
tknowwhatt osayordobuthejustengul
fedmeinahugandi
cri
ed.I
cr
iedmyey eball
soutandfel
tli
kethepai
nwasn'tther
e.

Me:
"Youar
eher
e"

276
Nkonzo:
"Yes"

Me:
"Youar
eok?
"

Hechuckl
edandi
huggedhi
mti
ght
erwhi
l
ecr
ying.

Nkonzo:
"Shhdon'
tcr
y."

Me:
"Howcani
not"

Mongezi
:"i
wil
lbebackl
aterLandi
"

Me:
"Ok"

Wehuggedandhewal
kedout
.

Nkonzo:
"whathappened?"

Me:
"if
oundouthecheat
edandt
heni
conf
essed.Het
hrewmedownt
hest
air
s"

Hedi
dn'
tsayany
thi
ngbutt
heangerwasv
isi
ble.

Nkonzo:
"Iam sor
ry.Ishoul
dhav
ebeent
her
e"

Me:
"it
sok.Youar
eher
e"

Heki
ssesmyf
orehead.Thedrwal
kedi
nwheel
i
ngt
heSonarscan.

Dr:
"Ohgoodday"

Nkonzonoddedwi
thhi
shandsi
nhi
spocket
.

Dr:
"iam guessi
ngy
ouar
ethef
ather"

Nkonzof
rowned.

Nkonzo:
"fat
her?
"

Dr:
"ow"

Me:
"Iam pr
egnant
.Ij
ustf
oundout"

Het
urnedt
ome.

Dr:
"iwi
l
lber
ightback"

Nkonzo:
"It
shi
sri
ght?
"

Icoul
dn'
texpl
ainhi
sexpr
essi
on.

277
Me:
"No"

Icr
iedandhehuggedme.

Me:
"Iam scar
ed."

Nkonzo:
"iam her
enow.Iam notgoi
ngt
oleav
e."

Ineededt
oheart
hat
.Iam gl
adhei
sher
e

I
NSERTFOURTY-
ONE

Iwasstil
lst
uckinNkonzo' sembrace.Tear sjustfel
tmyey esandi justcr i
edabouteverythi
ng.
Notthatiam pr
egnant.Notthaticheat
ednott hosebutforeverythi
ngel se.Evenificheatedor
notMuziwouldsti
llhavesti
llonmeandi am sohur taboutthat.Wasn'ti enoughf orhi
m.I
guessnot.Nkonzoslight
lypushedmeof fhim andwi pedmyt ear
swi thhisonehand.Whydoi
al
way sfi
ndcomfortinhisarms, Secur
ityinhim.Il ookuptohi m andhej ustwi
pesmyt ears
away.

Nkonzo:
"Don'
tcr
y.Iam her
enow"

Thatmademesmil
eal i
tt
lebef
oret
heshout
ingst
art
ed.I
twasNomawal
ki
ngi
nwi
thAmanda
andtheywer
efi
ght
ing.

Amanda:
"Youar
enotneededpr
incessf
uckof
fher
e"

Noma:
"Iam notscar
edofy
ouBi
tch.Iam her
etoseeLandi
swanoty
ou"

Amandachuckl
ed.Iknowthatchuckl
eandshei
saboutt
obr
ingoutherpsy
chosi
de.She
thr
ewthebagonthefloor
.

Me:
"Amanda"

278
Shewasn'
tlooki
ngatme.

Noma:
"Comeatme."

Nkonzo:
"Thi
sisahospi
tal
"

Amanda:
"iam gonnaki
l
lyouandy
ourbr
other
.Wat
choutf
orme"

Shet
urnedandt
ookherbag.Shedoesn'
tmakeempt
ypr
omi
ses.

Me:
"Amandadon'
tthr
eat
enNoma"

Amanda:
"nxxhay
i.
"

Nkonzo:
"Iwi
l
lseey
oul
ater
."

Het
urnedandHuggedNomat
henwal
kedout
.Nomast
oodt
her
einsi
l
ence.

Me:
"ComeNoma"

Amanda:
"iseey
ouwanthert
ojoi
nyouont
hatbed"

Shewaspi
ssed.

Me:
"hay
iAmanda.Shedi
dnot
hing"

Amanda:
"Not
hingbutshar
ebl
oodwi
tht
hatf
uckery
oucal
laboy
fri
end."

Noma:
"Muzi
isnotaf
uckersi
si"

Amandat
urnedt
oher.

Amanda:
"Uy
akhul
uma?(y
ouar
etal
ki
ng?)"

Shegav
eheradeat
hst
are.

Me:
"Amanda"

Amanda:"Bar
biepr
incessdon'
ttestme.Imi
ghtputy
oui
nacof
fi
njustt
oteachy
ourf
ami
l
ya
l
esson"

Me:
"Amanda!Noonehur
tme.If
eli
tol
dyounj
e"

Amanda:
"youmustt
hinki
am af
ool
tobel
i
evet
hatLandi
swa."

Ikeptqui
et.

Amanda:
"Usal
ahwena?(
Youar
est
il
lher
e?)

Noma:
"Iwi
l
ljustcomebackl
aterLandi
swa"

279
Me:
"Noma"

Amanda:
"Hay
iakahambe(shemustgo)"

Nomawal
kedout
.Amandawasbr
eat
hingf
ir
e.Il
ookedather
.

Amanda:
"Don'
ttr
yandl
ookatmel
i
ket
hatwenapl
ease"

Me:
"Shedi
dnot
hing"

Amanda:
"Nx."

Igi
veupshame.

Me:
"Cani
hav
ewat
er?
"

Shegavemewater.Honest
lyimissedher
.Amandamaycomef
rom t
hebur
bsbutshei
s
rat
chedasFuckexcusethelanguage.

*
MONGEZI*

Igottomyhouseandpar kedt
hecarandi
gotout
.Iwalkedi
nsi
deandfoundNdabasi
tt
ingwi
th
Palesa.Shestoodupassoonasshesawme.Isweart
hewayNdabaisalway
sonagadgetit
s
l
ikehecr eat
edthem.

Pal
esa:
"Mongezi
"

Seei
ngherf
acepi
ssedmeof
f.Landi
swai
sint
hathospi
tal
bedbecauseshecoul
dn'
tkeepher
bi
gmouthshut.

Me:
"Goabor
tthatt
hing"

Iwal
kedt
owar
dst
hest
air
sasshesni
ff
ledaCr
y.

Pal
esa:
"Iam 5mont
hspr
egnanti
can'
t"

Me:
"wel
lgetr
idofi
tsomehow."

Iwal
kedupt
hest
air
sandgoti
nmyr
oom andassoonasmyey
esl
andedont
hemi
rr
ori
sawa

280
ref
lecti
onofdad.Hehasbeenvisi
ti
ngmydr
eamsatni
ghtbutnev
erdur
ingt
heday
.Heewas
dri
ppingofbl
oodfrom hi
sfor
ehead.

Dad:
"Thet
rut
h,Mydaught
er.Thet
rut
h"

Hev ani
shedandi openedandclosedmyey es.Whyishehaunt
ingmeafter23year
sofhis
death.Idi
dn'tknowhi m pr
operl
ysincehediedwheni was10buti
sti
l
lrememberhim.What
tr
uth?Daught er
.Iknowhei srefer
ri
ngtoLandiswa.Ther
ewasaknockont hedoordi
stur
bing
meinmyr i
ddl
edthoughtsandNdabapeekedhi sheadin.

Ndaba:
"Ar
eyouok?Youl
ookl
i
key
ouar
ethi
nki
ng"

Ishakemyhead

Me:
"Uhm y
es.Iam t
hinki
ngofhowt
osol
vet
heQwabet
winsonceandf
oral
l"

Ndaba:
"ok,y
ouspokeaboutt
hewayLandi
swai
s.Howi
sshe?"

Myangerst
art
edt
obr
ewup.Ist
art
edt
obr
eakt
hemi
rr
orandi
twassi
l
encei
nther
oom .

Ndaba:
"Youwi
l
lfi
ndmeatt
hebasement
."

Hewal kedout.Iwasangr ythatishouldhav edoneproperresear

chonLandi swa.Iki
ll
edher
cousi
n.Myhal fcousinandt hatmadet hingsworseforherandnowshei slayi
nginahospital
bedallbecauseofmydoi ngsandselfishnessofwantingthethrownthatri
ghtful
lybel
ongst o
me.Al lf
orthatandshei sexperi
encingt hepai
ni cr
eated.Sheisexperi
encingtbebaggage.I
walkoutofmybedr oom aftersometimeandheadt othebasement .Ineedtoblowoffsome
steam andshootingisi
t.

*
MUZI*

Menzi
:"Backsosoon.It
hinky
oumi
ssmet
oomuch"

Isl
i
ght
lysmi
l
e.

Me:
"don'
tfl
att
ery
our
sel
fbr
o"

Hechuckl
edandi
wentcl
osert
ohi
m andt
ookl
i
ttl
eSphei
ntomyst
rongbi
gar
msandsi
tinf
ront

281
ofhim ont heof
ficecouch.Shelookedsoadorableandl
ikeMenzi
.Forsureoncesbegrowshe
wil
lbeabi toverprotect
iveofher.Ismil
edabitthi
nki
ngofwhenshewillbe6yearsandstart
tal
ki
ngl i
kenobodi esbusinessandbeingcar
efreeli
keNtombi.If
eltmyeyesburnjustt
hinki
ng
ofhowwonder f
ulshewasandst il
li
sinmyheart.Iwoul
dneverst
oplovi
ngNtombi li
kemyown
daughter.Shegav emelif
e.

Menzi
:"EyiNdoda.Munt
uuy
ophel
elwaumoy
aebi
zananawe(
heyman.Aper
soncanl
oose
t
hei
rbreat
hcalli
ngyou)"

Me:
"Youwer
esay
ing?
"

Menzi
:"whati
swr
ong?"

Me:
"about?"

Menzi:
"Iknowwedidn'
taPl acent
iabutweshar
edawomb.Sot
alkt
omei
knowy
ou.
Kwenzenj
ani?(whati
swrong? )
"

Il
ookedathi
m qui
et.Idi
dn'
tev
enknowwhatt
osayorwher
etoev
enst
art
.

Me:
"Wher
edoi
star
t?"

Isi
gh.

Menzi
:"wher
eev
er"

Isi
ghed

Me:
"Landi
swaandi hadanargumentandshetol
dmesomet
hingi
nev
erexpect
ed.Tomake
t
hest
oryshor
tshei
sinthehospit
alf
ordaysnow."

Menzi
:"Idi
dhearmom say
ingt
heyar
ecomi
ngt
oPr
etor
ia."

Me:
"yeah"

Menzi:"Youknowy ouwon'tf
eelbet
teri
fy oudon'
ttell
metheful
lst
ory
.Wemayf i
ghtand
havef
oughtov erl
andiswabef
orebutiam overher
.IloveMbal
iandmydaught
erandiwouldn'
t
tr
adethatforanyt
hing."

Me:
"Spokenl
i
keat
rueman"

Menzi
:"i
tsawor
kingpr
ogr
ess"

Wel
aughed.

Me:
"yeahi
heary
ou"

Gotmet
hinki
ngal
ot.Her
eal
l
ydi
dsoundgr
own.

282
.

I
NSERTFOURTY-
TWO

*
MUZI*

Ihel
donbabyspheandkeptt
omyt
hought
sonceagai
nbef
oreMenzi
int
err
upt
edmeagai
n.I
l
ookedathi
m andIsi
ghed.

Menzi
:tal
ktome.

Hesai
dpl
eadi
ngmet
ospi
twhati
seat
ingmeup

Me:
Icheat
ed

283
Hekeepsqui
etl
i
kehei
sencour
agi
ngmet
osaymor
e.

Me:
it'
smessedup

Menzi
:weal
lmessupbr
obutwel
ear
nfr
om t
hat
.

Me:
Landi
swasl
eptwi
thNkonzo.

Hi
sfaci
alchange.

Menzi
:l
ikeNkonzo,
Nkonzo?

Me:
yeahNkonzoMkhizewhoelse.Iwasangry(
henodded)Iwasangr
yatheratt
hebot
hof
t
hem butwhatIdi
dIwasn'
tsupposedtodoit
.

Menzi
:fuckt
hisi
smessedup

IKnow.

Menzi
:st
ayher
efort
heni
ghtbutt
omor
rowy
ouar
egoi
ngback.

Me:
Ican'
tfaceher

Menzi
:wel
lIdon'
tcar
e.Doy
oust
il
ll
oveheraf
terwhathappened?
.

Me:(
tearswerenear
ingmyey
es)
shei
smyl
i
fe.Il
ovehersomuchIam wi
l
li
ngt
ofor
get
ev
ery
thing..

Menzi
:thengocl
aim herback.For
giv
eNkonzoIknowy
oul
ovehi
m.For
giv
ethem f
ory
ourown
goodt
hendeci
dethen..

Il
ookedatMenzi
ashesmi
l
ed.Iwi
pedmyt
ear
s

Me:
thanksbr
o.Ineededt
oheart
hat
.

Menzi
:Iwi
l
lcal
lXol
i
let
oassi
sty
ou.

Me:
Iam i
naj
am y
ouwantmei
napi
tnow.

Wel
aughed.

Menzi
:shei
sbeaut
if
ul

Me:
yeahshei
s.CanImar
ryt
owomeny
ourhi
ghness?

Menzi
:,y
ayoumayy
ourhi
ghness.

Wel
aughedandhest
oodupandt
ooksl
eepi
ngSpheawaybef
orehecamebackandwechi
l
led.

284
.

*
THEMBEKA*

Iwassitti
ngwithNokzolabyt
heporch.Thi shouseisverybeauti
ful
andit'
snatur
eisver
y
breat
htaki
ngreall
y.Ineedi
tfr
om all
t henight
mar esandstressIhaveBengett
ingfr
om
Mkhokhelihaunti
ngme.Hei snotstopingwithtormenti
ngme.

Nokzol
a:Manj
eawuho?Whenar
eyougonnast
opf
ucki
ngy
oudaught
er'
shusband?

Me:
mxm.Pl
easedon'
tupsetme.

Mom cameout
.Shecl
appedherhands.

Mom :
green.Yout
wohav
emadey
our
sel
vesathome.

Nokzol
a:Mom pl
easedon'
tst
art
.

Shesai
drol
l
ingherey
es.

Mom :
Iwi
l
lpl
uckt
hoseey
esoutNokzol
aandf
eedy
out
hem.

Me:
wear
eyourdaught
ersmahy
oucan'
tchaseusout
.

Mom :Themekawhodoyouthi
nkyouar
e?Ionl
yhav
eonedaught
erandt
hati
sLandi
swa.
WhenIcomebackIwantyouout.

Shetur
nedanewwal
kedaway
.IsawMkhokhel
ismi
l
ingandher
ubbedhi
shandst
oget
hert
hen
di
sappear
ed.

Nokzol
a:wear
einshi
t.!

Me:
def
inat
ley
.

Iwasscar
edr
eal
l
y.

285
.

*
MONGEZI*

Iwasmov ingupandowni ntheclosett

othebedr oom throwingstuffintomysui
tcaseandI
wenttothebathr
oom andIsawmydadst andingbythemi rror.Idi
dn'tknowwhattodoorwhat
tosayorshoul
dIwhat?Idon' tknow.HedisappearedmeIshookmyheadandIt ookmycl ean
towel
sandwalkedoutandf oundNdabaleaningagainstthedoor .

Ndaba:
siy
aphi
?(Wher
ear
ewegoi
ng?
).

Me:
Khany
isa

Isai
dwhi
l
epacki
ng.

Ndaba:
todowhat?

Me:
justpack.Wear
egonnagetLandi
swaf
rom t
hehospi
tal

Ndaba:
youseem f
rust
rat
ed.

Me: Iam.i
don'
tknowwhatt
odoatt
hispoi
nt.Ev
ery
thi
ngi
sconf
usi
ngandspi
ral
i
ngoutof
cont
rol.

Ndaba:
you'
vegott
his.

Inoddedandv
ari
edonpacki
ng.

Ndaba:
sowhataboutMuz
iandLandi
swasr
elat
ionshi
p.

Me:
ithadt
oend.Icanj
ustgett
het
houghtt
hatt
hef
uckerf
uckedmysi
ster
.

Ndaba:
theydi
dn'
tknow.

Icl
osemysui
tcase

Me:
nowt
heywi
l
lknow.

Iwal
kedoutwi
thNdabal
ooki
ngatme.

286
.

I
NSERTFOURTY-
THREE

.
*LANDI
SWA*

Iam surroundedbyt hought sthatIdon'tevenknowhowt heyoccupi edmybr ain,slotisrunning

there.Mygr andmot her,howdi sappointedandangr yshewoul dbeonceshel earnsaboutmy
pregnancy.Muzi ,howIbr oketheheartofaguywhol ovesmewhol eheart
edlyandIl ovehim
thesameway.Hegav emehopei nloveagai nwhenIhadl ostallofit.Mybet rayaltohim, what
Ididcannotbet urnedi ntoabl i
ndeyeorbef orgot
tenf orthatmat t
er .Ihur
thim, theangerin
hiseyesandhur tshowedt hatIbrokehimf ormyf ooli
shness.Nkonzo, my..
..
my. ..
.mymi ght
bef at
herofmychi ld.Iam conf usedatt hemoment.17weeks, i
tmi ghtbeNkonzo' sorMenzi
'
schi l
dsinceIsleptwi t
ht hem twoday sinar ow.Mybodyshi versandt earsr
undownmyey es
andIsob.Mom , t
hehat r
edshehasonmet hatissti
l
lunknownt omewhyshehat edmef or
reasonsunknown.Myf ather,whereev erhei s.Theneedf orhim andNt ombi ,l
oosingNt ombi

287
provent
hatmyl i
fespir
all
edoutofcont
rol
.Backwhenshewasal i
ve,l
i
fepr
oventobesimple
yetJoyf
ultoit
'sf
rui
ts.Iam di
stur
bedfr
om mythoughtswhenthenursewal
ksinwithaDrand
Mongezifol
lowsin.Isitupsl
owly,t
hepainsar
esti
llt
herebuttheyar
egett
ingbet
ter.

Mongezi
:"howar
eyou?"

Me:
"bet
terIguess"

Henods.

Dr:
"wehav
ebeenr
equest
edt
haty
oumaybedi
schar
gedear
li
ert
hanant
ici
pat
ed"

Me:
"duet
o?"

Mongezi
:"y
ouar
eendanger
ed"

Me:
"Iam not"

Mongezi
:"t
henexpl
ainhowy
oul
andedont
hisbed"

Hei
sfi
rm.Il
ookaway.

Dr:
"her
eisy
ourpr
escr
ipt
ionandt
akei
teasyi
nyourcondi
ti
onwedon'
twantanywr
ongs"

Mongezi
:"whatcoul
dgowr
ongt
handr
inki
ngpi
l
ls?
"

Il
ookeddown,
att
imesMongezi
doesi
nti
midat
eme.

Dr:
"shei
spr
egnantanddoesn'
tneedanyst
ress."

Icoul
dfeel
hisey
esonme.

Mongezi
:"LANDI
SWAy
ouwhat!
?"

Dr:
"youar
egonnast
ressher"

Icr
ied.

Mysobsfi
l
ledt
heroom whi
l
eMongezi
wasf
umi
ngf
ornoappar
entr
easonatal
l,gogoshoul
d
bet
heonefumi
ngnothi
m.

Mongezi
:"whoi
sthef
ather?
"

Icar
ryonsni
ff
ing.TheDrandnur
sehav
elef
tther
oom .

Mongezi
:
"whoi
sthef
atherLandi
swa?I
sitMuzi
?"

Me:
"angazi
Mongezi
angazi
(Idon'
tknowMongezi
Idon'
tknow!
)

Mongezi
:"(f
rowni
ng)whatdoy
oumeany
oudon'
tknow,
awazi
kanj
ani
iSendeekadeLi
l
ah

288
kuwe(howdon'
tyouknowwhi
chdi
ckwasi
nyou?)

Icr
ied.Whyi
sheaski
ngmequest
ionsal
readyIam i
naj
am .

Me:
"it
'sNkonzo'
sIt
hink"

Idi
dn'texpectwhatcameaf
tert
hat.Hesl
appedme.Ihel
donmycheek..Il
etoutashar
pcr
y
andlookedathim.

Mongezi:
"Fuckyouar
esoi
rr
esponsi
bleLandi
swa!Usuf
unaukubi
zwai
sif
ebe?
(Doy
ouwantt
o
becal
ledahoe?)
"

Ishookmyhead

Mongezi
:"i
am t
alki
ngt
oyou!"

Me:
"no"

Isai
dhol
dingmycheekt
hatwasbur
ning.

Mongezi
:"t
henwhatdoy
oucal
lthebul
l
shi
tyouj
ustt
oldmehuh!
?"

Hewasr
oar
ing.Tear
sjustkeptonf
lowi
ng

Me:
"youar
emyf
ri
end,
youar
esupposedt
obecomf
ort
ingme"

Mongezi
:"Iam moret
hanaf
ri
endandIwon'
tcomf
orty
ouwi
thnonsense,
Iwon'
tbabyy
ou
whenyouarewrong."

Hesai
dpoi
nti
nghi
sfi
ngeratme.Hecl
i
ckedhi
stongue

Mongezi
:"gof
reshenupwear
eleav
ing "

Hewal
kedoutanIj
ustcomf
ort
edmysel
f.

*
MONGEZI
*

Honest
lyIam f
umi
ng.Inev
erexpect
edLandi
swat
oacti
rr
esponsi
bil
y.Godshei
sfr
ust
rat
ing

289
meal r
eadywhi l
eIhavetocomeupwi thaplantodestroytheQwabeTwi nswhileIhavetodeal
thatLandi
swai smysisterandNowMuzi mightbetheonewhoi mpregnatedherorhisbest
fri
endandt henagainMuzi f
orhit
ti
ngherl
i
kethatandt henLandi
swa'shoerishway s.Ireal
l
y
can'tj
ugglealotfr
om this.Igett
oNdabawhoi si
nt hewaiti
ngroom andit'
sjustusalone.Igo
tothesinkandIdrinksomewat er.

Ndaba:
"penny?
"

Me:
"shei
spr
egnant"

Ndaba:
"wear
etal
ki
ngaboutLandi
swa?
"

Me:
"of
causewhoel
seJezzabel
?!
"

Ir
oar
edandhel
ookedatme.

Ndaba:
"that
'smessedup,
shei
spr
egnantwi
thhercousi
n'
schi
l
d"

Me:
"that
'snott
hemesseduppar
t.Shesl
eptwi
thMuzi
andt
hatNkonzoGuy"

Hewhi
stl
ed

Ndaba:
"sowhatnow?
"

Me:
"Idon'
tknow,
butwhatIknowwi
thherIhav
etost
epi
nasabi
gbr
othernow"

Hesmi
l
ed

Ndaba:
"Inev
ert
houghtIwoul
dseet
hedayYoucar
eaboutsomeoneei
thert
hany
our
sel
f"

Me:
"thanksf
ort
hecompl
i
ment"

Hechuckl
ed

Me:
"letmecheckonher"

Iwal
kedoutabitcal
mergoingt
oLandiswa'
sward.Iar
ri
vedTher
eandshewascr
ying.I
fshe
wasn'
tpr
egnantIwouldhav
esti
llhi
thersoshenev
erdoesthi
severagai
n.

Me:
"let
'sgo"

Landi
swa:
"Mongezi
Iam sor
ry"

Me:
"youhur
tMuzi
andpl
ayi
ngwi
thf
ir
eLandi
swa"

Landi
swa:
"IknowandIam sor
ry"

Me:
"let
sgo"

290
It
ookherbagandwewal
kedout
.

*
ZANELE*.

TodayIdeci
dedtotakeadayoffj
ustsoIcancleanthehouseandmyhusbandcancomeback
toawarm cl
eanhome.Iwasst i
ll
inthekit
chenasitist
heafter
noonwhenmyphonerangandi
t
wasMom.It ookadeepbreat
hbeforeansweri
ngher.

Me:
"Mah"

Mom:
"mybaby"

Iwasabi
tconcer
nedcausherv
oicedi
dn'
tsoundok

Me:
"what
'swr
ong?
"

Mom :
"it
'sLandi
swa'
sfat
her,
j
ustcomet
omyhouse"

Me:
"Iwi
l
lber
ightt
her
eabi
t"

IhungupandsentQhaweamessagethatIwon'
tbehomewhenhecomesbackandIwal ked
upthest
air
s.WhatdoesLandi
swa'
sfatherwant?
isheal
i
ve?Ithoughthedi
ed.
thought
s
roamedmymind.

I
NSEETFOURTY-
FOUR

*
ZANELE*

291
.

Iar
ri
vedatmom'shouse,Iam r
eall
yworr
iedaboutthewayshesoundedandhowshemayf eel
att
hismoment.Shehasalwaysbeent
hereformeandIwi l
lal
waysreturnt
hef
avour.Igotout
ofmycarandIwal
kedinsi
deshouti
ngforherasIandsear
chingf
orher .

Me:
"MommyIam her
e!"

"St
opmaki
ngnoi
sey
ourmot
heri
snotok"

Il
ookupatt
hest
aircaseandi
t'
saunt
yNokzol
a.

Me:
"whati
swr
ongwi
thher?
"

Ir
unupt hest
air
spastherandgeti
nmymot her
'sr
oom.Sheisonthebedshiv
eri
ngwhi
l
e
l
ookingint
ospace.Shelookssoawful
thatIcansayandshedoesn'
tl
ookli
kemyusualbubbl
y
mother.

Me:
"mama"

Isaysof
tl
yasIsi
tnextt
oher
.Shel
ooksatme.

Mom :
"Zaza?
"

Me:
"yeahi
t'
sme."

Shehugsmeandbr eaksi
ntotears.I
thurt
sseei
ngherl
ikethi
s,cry
ingev
en.Sheal
way
shasi
t
toget
herbutnowIhavetobestrongforherf
orwhat
eversheisgoi
ngthr
ough.

Mom :
"Zaza"

Shesay
sinawhi
spert
oneandmyhear
tbr
eaks.

*
XOLI
LE*

292
.

Ihaveheardthatpri
nceMuzi i
sbackandIhavebeenassignedtohi
m buthavebeenav oi
ding
hispresenceal
otlatel
y,Idon'tevenknowwhattosayorhowt oacti
nhispresence.Iwasatthe
palacegardentr
yingtolearnhowt oreadwhenIfel
tataponmyshoulderanditwasNdumi so
thepalaceserv
antaswel l.Istoodupinherpr
esence.

Ndumi
so:
"thePr
incei
sinneedofy
ourser
vices"

Iswal
l
owed

Me:
"whatki
nd?
"

Iaskedwor
ri
ed.

Ndumi
so:
"Idon'
tknowbuty
oubet
terr
epor
ttohi
m."

Isi
ghedandnoddedbefor
eshet ur
nedandwalkedaway.Ifol
l
owedshort
lyandwentwi t
hmy
bookupthestai
rsandIgoinf
rontofhi
sdoorandbreat
hedinandoutbef
oreIknocked.The
dooropenedandwhythegodsarenotwit
hmet oday.Isi
ghedwhi
leheplast
ersacharming
smil
eonhi sf
ace.

Muzi
:"XOLI
LEwemeetagai
n"

Me:
"yourhi
ghness"

Ibowed.

Muzi
:"pl
easedon'
t.Comei
n."

Iwasn'
tsur
eaboutt
hei
dea.

Muzi
:"Idon'
tbi
tepl
ease"

Isi
ghedandnoddedbef
orewal
ki
ngi
n.Hecl
osedt
hedoorandIt
urnedt
ohi
m.Il
ookeddownas
Icoul
dfeel
hiseyesonme.

Muzi
:"y
ouar
ebeaut
if
ul"

Me:
"thanky
ouy
ourhi
ghness"

Muzi
:"si
tont
hebed"

Me:
"buty
our
..
..
..
"

Muzi
:"butnot
hingIj
ustneedqui
etcompanyt
hat
'sal
l"

Iwasr
eluct
antandhecoul
dsee.

293
Muzi
:"Iwi
l
lsi
tbyt
hecouchi
fthatwi
l
lmakey
ouf
eel
ok"

Ibr
eat
hedoutandnoddedbef
orewebot
hsatdown.

*
MUZI
*

Hereyesthatareforeverhi
ddenandl ookingtot hefl
oor.Thewaysheget sshyaroundmei t
's
amusingifImaysay .Ifi
ndmy selfsmil
ingeversinceIcamebackhomeandMom' sisn'
ttalki
ng
tomef orsomer easonthat
'swhyIneededcompanyt othink.Xolil
eseemswi seaswel land
may beIcanpickupanswer swithoutherevenknowi ngmypr oblems.Wehav ebeensitt
inghere
foranhoursil
entandIam j uststari
ngather.Shekeepsonf i
ddlingwithherfi
ngerswhileIam
l
ookingather.Myphonedi stur
bsmef r
om myt houghtsandmyr efreshi
ngv i
ewandIt akeitout
ofmypocketandi t'
sLandiswa, myhear tski
psabeatandXol i
leislookingatmebutIgoback
tomyphoneandIansweri t.

Me:
"hel
l
o",

Icl
earmythr
oat.Feel
sst
rangeandawkwar
dregar
dingofev
ery
thi
ngt
hathappenedi
nashor
t
spacel
ikeaweek.

Landi
swa:
"(br
eaki
ngv
oice)Muzi
"

Myhear
tachesasIknowshei
saboutt
ocr
y.

Me:
"shhheydon'
tcr
y"

Shebur
stsi
ntoashar
pcr
y.

Landi
swa:
"Muzi
Iam sor
ry"

Mymi
ndj
otst
othought
sofLandi
swaandNkonzoandmyangersur
facesbutIcal
m downabi
t.

Me:
"wewi
l
ltal
k"

Shesni
ff
s.

Landi
swa:
"Inev
ermentf
oral
loft
his.Iam sor
ry"

294
Me:
"Lum Lum "

Herbr
eat
hingi
sal
otcal
mert
houghshei
ssi
l
ent
.

Me:
"Lum l
um l
i
stenIl
ovey
ouok?"

Shebr
eaksi
ntoanot
hercr
yandIcan'
tbar
eit
.Whenshecr
iesi
tbr
eaksmyhear
t.

Landi
swa:
"Il
ovey
out
oo.Wear
ecomi
ngt
hatsi
de,
ther
eissomet
hingi
mpor
tantIhav
etot
ell
you"

Mypal
msar
esweat
ingandmyhear
tisr
aci
ng.

Me:
"whati
sit?
"

Landi
swa:
"it
'snotaphoneconv
ersat
ion.Wewi
l
lbet
her
e"

ShehangsupandIl
ookupt
oxol
i
lewhoqui
ckl
ylooksdownwhenwemakeey
econt
act

*
LANDI
SWA*

Godispunishi
ngmef ornotst
ayingavir
gint
il
lmarri
agethat'
sforsure.Ican'
tst
opthecr
ying
andIreal
l
ydon'twantanyonenexttomeespeci
all
yGogoandMongezi .Iam l
yi
nginbedwith
Nkonzotry
ingtocalm medownf r
om t
hecryi
ngwithsugaredwater.Mongezii
snexttomeandI
don'
twanthim nearme.

Gogo:
"besi
ngazi
Mnt
anami
(wedi
dn'
tknow)
"

Me:"di
dn'
tknowGogo?Isleptwi
thmycousi
nsf
orgoodnesssake.Ev
ersi
nceIcameoutof
mom'swombIhavebeensuchacurse"

Nkonzo:
"don'
tsayt
hat"

Me:
"it
'st
rue,
mom doesn'
tl
ovemeandIl
ostNt
ombi
nowt
his.
..
..
"

Ibur
stedi
ntoal
oudcr
y

Mongezi
:
"ther
eisnot
hingwecandonow"

295
Me:
"cany
oul
eav
eIneedt
othi
nk"

Mongezi
:"Iwi
l
lbebacki
ntwoday
sthenwewi
l
lgot
otheKhany
isaKi
ngdom "

Il
ookedathi
m andhewal
kedout
.

Gogo:
"Iam gonnamakesomet
hingf
ory
out
oeatt
hendr
inky
ourpi
l
ls"

Shewal
kedoutandIhel
dont
oNkonz
o.Myl
i
fei
smessedup.Iam notcutoutf
ori
t.

Nkonzo:
"youhav
etobest
rongf
ort
hebaby
'ssake"

Me:
"Iam t
alki
ngapar
t"

Hel
ookedatmeandki
ssedmyey
esandIl
aughed

Nkonzo:
"gl
adIcanmakey
oul
augh"

Me:
"It
'sj
usty
ouar
esuchasuckeratcomf
ort
ingsomeone"

Nkonzo:
"Iwasnev
ert
aughthowt
ocomf
ortsomeone,
mygr
andmot
herwasat
oughcooki
e"

Me:
"shegr
oomedy
ouwel
l"

Nkonzo:
"Iam notbadImaysay"

Ther
ewassi
l
ence.

Nkonzo:"Iam notromanti
cLandi
swa,Iam notl
ookingforar
elat
ionshi
pwit
hyouandIam not
whatyouwantt oexpectf
rom me.Iam badandprobabl
ytoxi
candacur sei
npeopl
e'
sli
ves.
"

Hesi
ghed

Me:
",y
ouar
enotacur
se"

Nkonzo:
"butonet
hingIknowi
sthatIwi
l
lfai
ltr
yingt
obet
hebestf
athert
omyki
d"

Me:
"Iam ev
enconf
usedi
fit
'shi
sory
our
s"

Hel
ooksatme.

Nkonzo:
"i
fit
'sminethenIsti
llst
andonmywor d.Igr
ewupwithoutmypar
ent
ssoIwi
l
ltr
y.We
havetot
rybethebestforourkidcauseourpar
entsf
ail
edus"

Il
ookedathi
m andhewi
pedmyt
ear
s.

Nkonzo:
"don'
tcr
y"

Me:
"youar
emaki
ngmeemot
ional
"

296
Hechuckl
ed.

Nkonzo:
"sl
eep.Iam comi
ngback"

Hetuckedmei nandhewentt othebal

conyandhel i
tupacigaret
teansmoked.Heseemedto
bedeepinthought
.Nkonzoi ssomy st
eriousi
nawayy oujustwanttounfol
dhimlikehei
sa
pl
acewherey ouarenotsupposedtoenterbutyouent
erbecauseofcuri
osit
y.Ther
eseemsto
bealothi
ddeninhim.

I
NSERTFOURTY-
FIVE

*
NKONZO*

Idon'tknowwhi chcigaret
teIam onnowandIneedi tt
ocal m downf rom all
thatishappening.
Thedr amat hatstartedwhenIbecamei ntimatewi t
hLandi swa.Al otofyouhatemeatt he
moment, Idon'tknowi fIshouldhat
emy selforwhat.If eel confusedatt hemomentwi th
everythi
ngaswel lbutIam tryi
ngtobestrongforLandiswa.Womenar eweakatt i
mesandI
usedt hatagainstherandnowshei samess.Tot opevery t
hi nginthismessi saunbor nchil
d
thatcouldbemi neorMuzi 's.Isi
ghandtakeanot herpuf fof fmyci garet
teandlookoutt oI
don'tknowwhatbutIam l ov i
ngthevi
ew.Ihav eal waysl ov edthishouseasoneofmyf avori
te
becausei t
'smyescapeoft hinki
ng.Myphoner i
ngsandi nt akeitoutandsi gnjustbeforeI
answeri t
.

Me:
"baba"

Dad:
"Khabazel
awhati
sgoi
ngon?"

297
Ipauseabi
tthi
nki
ngofhowIwi
l
lanswert
his.

Me:
"Kuni
ngi
(al
ot)
"

Ihav
eneverof
floadedt
omyf
athermai
nlybecausehef
indsoutt
hingsonhi
sownsowhati
s
t
heuse.

Dad:
"isi
tbet
weeny
ouandMuzi
?"

Me:
"it
'samess"

Dad:
"youwi
l
lbest
rong"

Isi
gh.Iam notev
ensur
eoft
hat.

Dad:
"fl
ytoHQi
nDur
bani
ntwoday
sti
me.Weneedt
otal
kaboutmyr
eti
rement"

Me:
"can'
tyouhol
donf
ort
womor
eyear
s?"

Dad:
"No,
youneedt
otakeov
ernowmyt
imei
sout
.Sokhul
uma(
wewi
l
ltal
k)"

InodandhehangsupandIsighthenIf
ini
shoffmycigaret
tebef
oregoi
ngi
nsi
dethebedroom
andIlookatLandi
swawhoissoundasl
eep.Herfaceispuff
yandswoll
enf
rom al
lthecr
ying.I
perkherl
ipsandItakemykey
sandIwalkout..

*
MADLAMI
NI*

Me:
"Sengway
opi
ckup"

Iwaspaci
ngupanddowni
nmybedr
oom bef
oreIf
inal
l
ygott
hrought
oSengway
o.

Me:
"ekugci
neni
(atl
ast)
..
..
"

Sengway
o:"uMkhokhel
iakaphumul
engokut
hul
a(Mkhokhel
ii
snotr
est
ingi
npeace)
"

Me:
"whoi
sMkhokhel
i?"

Sengway
o:"t
heki
ng'
sol
derbr
other.
"

298
Me:
"ubabakaMongezi
?(Mongezi
'
sfat
her?
)"

Sengway
o:"y
es"

Me:
"okwear
egonnacomebackt
othat.Wehav
ebi
ggerpr
obl
ems"

Sengway
o:"whati
sit?
"

Me:
"Mongezi
andLandi
swaar
esi
bli
ngs"

Sengway
o:"hay
iabaphansi
abangi
boni
sangal
okho(t
heancest
orsdi
dn'
trev
eal
thatt
ome.)
"

Me: "ofcausetheywouldn'
tcausewedidabloodconv
eni
entandnowMkhi
zeandDl
ami
ni
ancestorsarepunishi
ngusforthem bei
ngi
ntimat
e"

Isai
dal
lfr
ust
rat
ed.

Sengway
o:"what
sdonei
sdonewecannotchanget
hat"

Hest
art
edgr
oani
ng.

Me:
"Sengway
okwenzakal
ani
(Sengway
owhati
sgoi
ngon?
)"

Sengwayo:
"Gumede,Qwabe,
Phakathway
o,Mnguni
kaYey
eye(chant
ingcl
annameswhi
l
e
cl
appingandgr
oani
ng)Iam l
i
steni
ng"

Me:
"Yey
iwenauy
angi
zwakodwa!
(Ar
eyouhear
ingme?
!)"

Hekeptoncl
appi
ngandgr
oani
ngandt
hent
her
ewassi
l
ence.

Me:
"Sengway
oMani
Iam t
alki
ng!
"

Sengwayo:"TheQwabeancest
orswi
l
lkeeponpuni
shi
ngLandi
swaunt
ilshef
indst
het
rut
h
aboutherf
ather."

Me:
"Idon'
thav
eti
mef
orr
iddl
es.I
sn'
ti
tsheknowsherf
atheri
sroy
alkant
ibaf
unani
?!"

Iwasget
ti
ngangr
y

Sengway
o:"i
twasn'
thi
sti
me.TheDl
ami
ni'
shav
ehi
sbl
oodi
nthei
rhands"

Me:
"youmeansomeonef
rom uski
l
ledhi
m ?"

Sengway
o:"y
es.That
'swhyi
zi
ntozi
ngal
ungi
(that
'swhyt
hingsgobad)
"

Me:
"Iwi
l
lcal
lyoul
ater"

Ihangupwhilepaci
ngupanddown.Idon'
tev
enknowthisMkhokhel
i
.Ij
ustsawThembeka
droppi
ngLandiswawhi
keshewasyoungandshehasbeenwit
hmeev ersi
nce.It
akemybag.I

299
needanswer
s.Iwal
koutofmyr
oom whi
l
ebangi
ngt
hedoor
.

*
ZANELE*

Theepresti
l
l hasn'
tbeenanychangefr
om mymot herinst
eadsheisgett
ingworsel
i
kesheis
l
oosinghermi nd.Ical
l
edQhaweandt ol
dhim aboutthesit
uat
ionathandandheunderst
ood
thatmymot herneedsme..Icall
edinatwor
kaswel landnowIam inthekit
chenwhil
e
prepar
ingsomef oodforher
..

Me:
"Whendi
dshest
artseei
ngt
hings?
"

Aunt
yNokzol
aisdeepi
nthoughtswhi
l
ebitt
ingherl
i
p.Shei
sshi
ver
ingaswel
l.I
fIam not
mist
akenmaybeshei
sbackattaki
ngagai
n.

Me:
"Nokzol
a!"

Shesnapsoutofhert
hought
s

Nokzol
a:"
Nxwhyar
eyoushout
ing?
"

Shef
rowns

Me:
"youwer
en'
tanswer
ingme.Whendi
dmom st
artbehav
ingl
i
ket
his?
"

Shest
andsup.

Nokzol
a:"Iam gonnasl
apy
ouwena"

Me:
"shei
smymot
her,
Ihav
etobeconcer
ned"

Ihangt
het
abl
e

Nokzol
a:"asky
oursi
ster"

Shewal
ksout
.WhatdoesLandi
swahav
etodowi
tht
his..ohGodsohel
pmenotki
l
lhercauseI
wil
l
.

300
.

#Landi
swat
hesi
dechi
ck:
Fal
l
ingf
orhi
m

Commentandshar
e

I
nser
t46

*
XOLI
LE*

Wewer est
rol
li
ngthrought
hepalacegardensmal lwal
ksjustsi
lencebet weenus.Ihave
not
hingtosaytohi
m andneit
herhim.It'
sjustuswalki
ngsidebysi de.Ihavebeentr
yingtonot
bei
nhispresencebutheal
way si
nsistofmebei ngnextt
ohi m.Heseemsl osti
nthought
s.

Me:
"yourhi
ghness"

Het
urnst
ome.

Me:
"it
'sget
ti
ngdar
know"

Muzi
:"Iam sor
ry.Weshoul
dwal
kback"

Inoddedandwet
urnedandst
art
edwal
ki
ngback.

Muzi
:"cany
ougot
othemar
ketwi
thmet
omor
row?
"

301
Me:
"yourmaj
est
y..
..
"

Muzi
:"pl
ease.Yourcompanykeepsmesane"

Inod.

Me:
"asy
ouwi
sh"

Idon'
tl
iket
hisatal
l
.

*
LANDI
SWA*

_
___
___
_

Thesi
lenceint
hisdarkroom wasgett
ingt ome.IlookaroundandIshoutout"Anyoneher
e?"
Butnoonerepl
ied.Amanappear sandi t
'sthemanwhoal waysappear
seit
herinmydreamsin
aghostfor
m.Hewal kscloserandt
her oom becomesbr
ighterandwhit
e.Hetouchesmyhand.

Hi
m:"mydaught
er"

Hesmi
l
esandt
ear
swel
dinmyey
es.

Me:
"baba"

Het
akesmyhandandhol
dsi
tbutIj
umpi
ntoahugwi
thhi
m andcr
y.

Me:
"babaungi
shi
yel
ani
(dadwhydi
dyoul
eav
eme?
)"

Il
etoutashar
psobwhi
l
ehecar
essesmyback.

Hi
m:"Inev
erl
efty
ou.Iwasal
way
sther
e"

Me:
"Iam i
nmi
ser
yal
lmyl
i
fe.Il
ostev
ery
thi
ngt
hatwasmyhappynot
hing."

Her
emov
edmef
rom hi
schestandwi
pesmyt
ear
sandki
ssesmyf
orehead.

Hi
m: "i
twill
beokst
andstr
ong.Seekanswer
sandyoushal
lbef
ree.Youhav
easpeci
algi
ftand
af
teral
lthestor
msi
tshal
lbeunl
ockedforgr
eat
ergood."

302
Me:
"Iwanty
ou"

Hehel
dmycheeks.

Hi
m:"y
ouar
eapar
tofme.Whatev
erhappenshol
don.TheKi
ngdom needsy
ou."

Me:
"how?
"

Hi
m:"y
ouwi
l
lsee.Justseekanswer
sri
ghtnow"

Hedi
sappear
sandIopenmyey
es

_
___
___

Gogo:
"yohuy
alal
a,v
ukaasambe(y
oucansl
eep.Wakeupl
et'
sgo)"

Me:
"wher
ear
ewegoi
ng?
"

Shedr
agsmeoutoft
hebed.

Gogo:
"toy
ourmot
herweneedanswer
s."

Me:
"of
f?"

Gogo:
"st
opaski
ngmequest
ionsIam notani
nsur
ancecompanysel
l
ingy
oual
i
fecov
er.Let
's
go"

ShetakemyshoesandIruntothebat
hroom andIwashmyfaceandbrushmyteet
h.Honestl
yI
can'
tstaymadatgogoandMongezi.Theydi
dn'tknowasmuchasIdidn'
tknowbutgogois
ri
ghtIneedanswer
s.WerushedoutwhenIwasdoneandcall
edanUbert ot
akeustomy
mother'
shouse.

*ZANELE*

Iwasonmywayt omymother
'sr
oom whenIhear
daunt
yNokzol
atal
ki
ngt
omom sof
tl
y.I
st
oodbythedoorwayj
ustt
oeavesdr
op.

303
Nokzol
a:"Thembekasnapi
tman!Youar
egonnagetusi
ntr
oubl
e."

Mom :
"Si
mbul
elei
minaengamdubul
a(weki
l
ledhi
m.Iam t
heonewhoshothi
m.)
"

Shekeptonsay
ingt
hat.

Nokzol
a:"y
ouar
egonnakeepqui
et.Youcan'
tbl
owoursecr
etov
eraghost"

Icov
eredmymout
h.Mom ki
l
ledsomeone.

Mom :
"Mkhokhel
ingi
yaxol
i
sa(Mkhokhel
iIam sor
ry)
"

Nokzol
acr
adl
edher
.

Nokzol
a:"shhdon'
ttal
know."

Ihear
dsomeoneshout
ingfr
om downt
hestai
rsshout
ingmymot
her
'sname.Iqui
ckl
yrushed
downbefor
eaunt
yNokzolasawmeanditwasgogo.

Me:
"gogo"

Shepushedmeandwalkedupt
hestai
rs.Il
ookedatLandi
swa.Shedi
sgust
smebecauseshei
s
sobeauti
ful
li
keshebat
hsinmi
lkandhoney.

Me:
"Landi
swa"

Il
ookatherupanddown.Atl
easti
madei
tinl
i
fet
hanher
.

Landi
swa:
"st
opl
ooki
ngatmeZanel
e"

Me:
"uf
unani
lah(whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?)
"

Landi
swa:
"Iwantanswer
s"

Shewal
kspastmeandIhol
dherar
m.

Me:
"uy
aphi
,youar
enotgoi
ngany
wher
enearmymot
her
."

Shel
aughsandl
ooksmei
ntheey
e.

Landiswa:"r
easonswhyyouwi
ll
nev
erhav
eachi
l
dngobaabaphansi
bay
akuf
lat
hel
a(t
he
ancestor
sarepunishi
ngy
ou)"

Me:
"st
opt
alki
ngnonsense"

Shel
aughed.

Landi
swa:
"hei
snotr
est
ingi
npeaceandbaKhumal
oar
enothappywi
thy
ou"

SheYanksherar
m of
fandr
unsupt
hest
air
s.Isi
nkdownandcr
ied.OhmyGod.Noone

304
knowst hatIhadtwoaborti
onsinmymarri
agejustbecauseIst
il
lwant
edmycareert
omov e
andnotbet i
edtoachil
d.Marr
iagewasenough.Howdoessheknowt hat?Di
dshedosome
diggi
ngonme?Noi tcan'
tbe.Ihear
dmom scream andIranupthest
air
sandGogoishi
tt
ing
her.Landiswaiscry
ing.

Nokzol
a:"mahMy
eke(mahl
eav
eher)"

Gogo:
"Ibr
oughty
oubot
hint
hisear
thandIam gonnat
akey
ouout
."

Shei
sfi
stf
ight
ingmom whohel
plessl
ycr
ying

Me:
"gogo!
"

Gogo:"
Yeyi
wenashutup.Youbot
har
erot
ten.Youki
dsar
esor
ott
en.Youwon'
tsayy
ouar
e
Past
or'
schi
ldr
en"

Nokzol
a:"what?
"

Shest
opsandmom i
sbadl
ybr
uised.Ir
unt
oher
.

Gogo:
"let
'sgoLandi
swa"

Nokzol
a:"woahy
out
alkedaboutPast
orandIknowf
oraf
acty
ouar
enotonesoKhul
uma.
"

Gogo:
"mov
eoutofmywayorIwi
l
lhur
tyou"

Shewasl
i
vid.

Landi
swa:
"Gogo"

Wel
ookedatherandbl
oodwasr
unni
ngdownherl
egs.

Me:
"Kwenzakal
ani
?(Whati
sgoi
ngon)
"

Gogot
ookoutherphonewhi
l
eLandi
swacr
ied.

Gogo:
"shei
sloosi
ngbl
oodpl
easecome."

Nokzol
a:"Yey
iwenaMusaukungcol
i
sal
ah(st
opmaki
ngamess!
)"

Landi
swahol
dsherst
omachcr
ying.

Landi
swa:
"kubuhl
ungugogo(i
thur
tsgogo)
"

Gogo:
"cal
m downLandi
swat
hinkoft
heki
ds"

SheI
spr
egnant?Wonder
snev
erst
op.

Nokzol
a:"
(onecl
ap)heeh!
!Umi
thi
ugal
(thegi
rli
spr
egnant
)"

305
Me:
"letmedr
ivehert
othehospi
tal
shei
sloosi
ngsomuch"

Nokzol
a:"dr
ivewho?NooneI
sdr
ivi
ngoutofher
e"

Il
eav
emom andt
akeLandi
swa'
shand

Me:
"let
'sgo"

Wewalkdownthest ai
rswit
hherscreamingandcryingt
il
lwegett
othecaranddr
oveof
f.I
knowmeandmysi sterdon'
tli
keeachotherbutIcanimagehowshewil
lfeel
whenshel
oose
herchi
l
d.Ial
sofeelpai
nwhenQhawet al
ksaboutkids.

Commentandshar
e

I
nser
t48

*
ZANELE*

Wehav earr
ivedatt
hehospitalandgogoi sdrenchedinbloodbutdoesn'
tseem t
ocar
e.Ihave
call
edQhaweandt oldhi
m aboutt hesit
uati
onandhesai dhei sonhisway.Gogoisj
ust
prayi
ngandasmoki nghotguy.MmmhJehov ahyoucant akemenow, walksi
n.Mmht hose
muscles.Thoseeyes.I
rr
esisti
ble.Ifi
ndmysel fbit
ti
ngmybot t
om l
ipwhenhecomesourway .
Il
ookathim buthehasastraightfaceandhedoesn' tev
enl ookmyway.

Gogo:
"(l
ooki
ngup)Ohusuf
iki
l
ekwakuhl
e(y
ouhav
ecame.That
'sgr
eat)
"

Guy:
"howi
sshe?Ineedt
oseeher"

Gogol
ooksatme.

306
Me:
"Iam notl
eav
ingi
fthat
'swhaty
ouar
ethi
nki
ngabout
."

ShepouncesatmeandIduck.

Gogo:
"Ngi
zokuf
akai
mpamawenaDot
i(Iam gonnasl
apy
ou!
)"

Theguysay
snot
hing.

Guy:
"wher
ear
etheseDr
s?"

Gogo:
"weshoul
djustwai
tal
i
ttl
elonger
."

Guy:
"Iam v
eryi
mpat
ientMaDl
ami
ni"

Hesayspacingupanddown.Hel
ooksl
i
keasexGod.Theonet
hatpi
nsy
ouandf
ucky
ouf
or
puni
shmentstype.

Gogo:"Zanel
eyekaukuj
uzananguumny
eni
wakho(Zanel
est
opdr
ool
i
ng,
her
eisy
our
husband.
)"

Iwi
pemyf
aceandQhawer
ushest
ous.Hehugsme.

Gogo:
"mxm "

Qhawe:
"hel
l
oev
ery
one"

Guy:
"wenoti
nthemoodf
orgr
eet
ings."

Gogof
akesasmi
l
e

Gogo:
"hei
sinst
ress.Don'
tmi
ndhi
m."

TheDrappear
sandt
heguyj
umpsupandr
ushest
ohi
m.Meet
inghi
m hal
fway
.

Guy:
"howi
sshe?"

Dr:
"Landi
swaDl
ami
ni?
"

Guy:
"yeahkant
ingi
thi
ni?
!(Yeah,
whatam Isay
ing?
!)"

Her
oar
s.Hi
svoi
cei
ssodeep.Qhawei
shol
dingmywai
st.

Gogo:
"sor
ry.Hei
sjustst
ressed."

Dr:
"ohIunder
stand."

Me:
"pl
easegett
othei
nfor
mat
iondoc"

Theyl
ookatme.

307
Dr:"mypat
ientMsDl aminihassuff
eredinalotduetopr
eviousinjuri
esthatar
eunknownatt
his
momentofwhatt hecoursewereandf r
om them shewaslackingbloodrichmenti
nherbl
ood
ci
rcul
ati
onsystem .Thi
smeanst herewasn'tenoughbl
oodf l
owt hroughhervai
ns.
..
..
"

Guy:
"justcutt
othechase"

Hesi
ghsandl
ooksatus.

Dr:
"unf
ort
unat
elyshel
ostt
hepr
egnancy"

Theguyj
ustwal
kedout
.

Gogo:
"uhm t
hanky
ouf
ort
henews."

Dr:
"that
'snotal
l.Sheneedsbl
oodt
ransf
usi
on.
"

Qhawe:
"thenwhyar
ewewai
ti
ngDr?
"

Dr:"wasj
usti
nfor
mingy
ou.Thebl
oodsuppl
yhasn'
tar
ri
vedasy
etandwehav
etest
edherand
sheisabl
oodtypeA"

Gogo:
"youcant
estme"

Qhawe:
"andme"

Me:
"hai
bo"

Hei
gnor
esme.

Dr
:"wonder
ful
.Fol
l
owme"

Theywal
kof
fandIsi
t-
downont
hebenchf
orsomet
imet
il
ltheycomeback.

Gogo:
"Umnt
anami
Nkosi
yam.Uphi
uNkonzo?
(Ohmypoorchi
l
dLor
d.Wher
eisNkonzo?
)

Me:
"Idon'
tknow"

Wesi
t-
insi
l
ence.

*
NKONZO*

308
.

Il
ookatmysecondci gar et
teinjust5mi nutes.Thebr eezeblowingmysmokei nadif
ferent
di
rectiont
hanant i
cipat ed.Myl efthandbur r
ieddeepinmypant spocket swhil
emyr i
ghthand
occupiestheci
gar ett
e.Att i
mesImi sstalki
ngtoMuzi aboutpr
obl ems.Mai nl
ybecausehe
al
way scri
edouthi spr oblemst omeandIwast her
et obehi sshoul derallt
heti
meandnow.I ts
myt urnAndihav enoonet of aceorneedashoul derfr om.Ifi
nishupsmoki ngandstompon
myst ud.Iam crav i
ngf orabot tl
eofwhi skeytoaccompanymyt houghts.Iwalkbackinsideand
fi
ndt heDrsti
ll
talking.Iwasal mostaf ather
.Ican'thelpbutfeel l
i
ket hisisal
lmyfault
.

Dr:
"Igott
het
estr
esul
tsbackandbot
hofy
ouar
enotamat
ch."

MaDl
ams:
"HowcomeIam herbl
ood?
"

Dr:
"thatdoesn'
tnecessar
il
ymeany
oushar
eabl
oodt
ypemam."

Shesi
nksont
otheseat
.

Me:
"Iwantt
oseeher
."

Theyl
ookatme.

MaDl
ams:
"sheneedsabl
oodt
ransf
usi
on"

Iwal
kof
fandst
andst
il
lwhi
l
etur
ning.

Me:
"ar
eyoucomi
ngDrorwhat?
"

Dr:
"huh?
"

Me:
"comet
estme"

Iwal
kof
fandhef
oll
ows.

*MUZI*

Homei sreal
l
yrefr
eshingandIwil
lkeeponsayi
ngt hat.Ican'
tgetov
ert hecall
withmeand
Landi
swa.Iti
smaki ngmebeatuneasel i
kesomethingiswrong.Iam looki
ngoutsideov
erthe
bal
cony.Mom andDaddecidedtotakethemsel
vestoCapeTownandj ustenjoy.IknowMenzi

309
i
swi t
hhisfamil
yandNomai slockedupinherroom sincethedayshecamebackf
rom Pr
etor
ia.
Ihavetr
iedtal
ki
ngt oherbutshewoul dn'
tbudge.Icouldfeelapr
esencebehi
ndmeandIsmil
e
befor
eIturnandlookatherasherey esarefi
xedont hefl
oor.

Me:
"youar
ereadyIpr
esume?
"

Shenods.

Xol
i
le:
"yesy
ourhi
ghness"

Me:
"let
'sgo"

Wewalkoutandsheseemstobekeepi
ngherdist
ance.Iopent
hedoorf
orherandshel
ooks
ar
oundwhil
etheguar
dskeepglanci
ngandIdon'
treal
l
ycare.

Me:
"geti
n"

Shehopsi
nandIgot
omysi
deandt
heguar
dsdr
iveof
ffi
rstbef
oreIf
oll
ow.Shei
slooki
ng
down

Me:
"youdon'
thav
etobeshywi
thme"

Xol
i
le:
"Ij
ustr
especty
ou"

Me:
"yout
reatmel
i
keIam 40,
tel
lmehowol
dar
eyou?
"

Xol
i
le:
"24y
ear
s."

Il
ookov
ert
oherandsmi
l
e.

Me:
"youar
ebeaut
if
ul"

Sheshysmi
l
es

Xol
i
le:
"thanky
ou"

Me:
"wear
eget
ti
ngsomewher
e"

Shel
ooksupatmeandIsmi
rk.Idr
ivet
other
iverandIpar
k

Xol
i
le:
"It
houghtwewer
eheadi
ngt
othemar
ket"

Me:
"Ichangedmymi
nd"

Xol
i
le:
"but.
..
..
"

Me:
"butnot
hingcome."

Sheget
soutwi
thmyhel
pandwewal
ktoget
her
.Il
ockmyhandt
ight
lyi
ntoher
ssoshewoul
dn'
t

310
escape.

Xol
i
le:
"yourhi
ghnessIdon'
tthi
nkt
hisi
sappr
opr
iat
e"

Me:
"Xol
i
ler
elax.Ir
especty
ouandIwon'
tdoany
thi
ngt
haty
ouar
enotcomf
ort
abl
ewi
th"

Shenods.Wesi
tbyt
her
ock.Thesoundsoft
hewat
erf
all
sref
reshi
ng.

Xol
i
le:
"Ihav
ehear
dofmy
thsaboutt
hewat
erguar
dian.Themer
mai
diny
ourEngl
i
shl
anguage.
"

Ichuckl
ed.

Xol
i
le:
"youseem bot
her
ed"

It
urnt
oher

Me:
"by?
"

Sheshr
ugs.Isi
gh.

Me:
"innert
houghtIwoul
dhav
esomanyquest
ionsmar
ksi
nmyl
i
fe."

Xol
i
le:
"tal
ki
nghel
ps."

Shei
snowf
aci
ngmeandhercl
earmar
bleey
esst
ari
ngdeepi
ntomysoul
.

Me:
"Iam amonst
er"

Xol
i
le:
"weal
lcer
tai
nlyhav
emi
shappsi
nmoment
sofourl
i
ves."

Me:"woul
dyousayi
t'
sami
shapt
hatIt
hrewmygi
rl
fr
ienddownt
hest
air
sjustbecauseof
anger
."

Shei
ssi
l
ent
.

Me:
"st
opbei
ngsi
l
ence.I
t'
snotsi
tt
ingwel
lwi
thme"

Xol
i
le:
"why?
"

Me:
"huh?
"

Xol
i
le:
"whydoy
ouhav
eangert
hatr
esor
tedt
othat"

Me:
"(l
i
ghtchuckl
e)y
ouwi
l
llookatmedi
ff
erent"

Shehel
dmyhands.

Xol
il
e:"youdon'
tlookatmeanydi
ff
erentandi
t'
snotmypl
acet
oputast
ickeraboutwhoy
ou
ar
eony ourmist
akes"

311
Iki
ssherhandsandshebl
ushed.

Me:"shesleptwi
thmybestfr
iend.Abr
othertome.It
rust
edt
hem bot
hespeci
all
y.
..
..especi
all
y
Nkonzo.Hewasn'
tsupposedt
odomel ikethat"

Shei
ssi
l
entonceagai
n.

Xoli
l
e:"Ihearyourbetrayal
whattheydidiswr
ong.Theyshoul
dn'
thavedonet
hatbutwhatI
cansayisthatdon'
tletthei
rfool
i
shmi st
akeshi
dethewonderf
ulper
sonyouar
e.Icanseeyou
missyourbestf
ri
end"

Me:
"yeahbutwhatwehadwon'
tber
epai
red."

Xol
il
e:"that
'swhaty
out
hink.Hav
eyout
ri
edsi
tt
ingdownandt
alki
ngt
ohi
m?askhi
m whyhe
bet
rayedyou?"

Me:"Iam amanXoli
l
e.Nomatt
erhowmuchIam f
eel
i
ngbutIwon'
tl
etwhatNkonzodi
dtome
gounpuni
shedsoasLandi
swat
heywon'
tseemecoming."

Xol
i
le:
"Muzi
don'
tsayt
hat"

Shei sonherkneesi nf
rontofmehol dingmyhands.Il ooki
ngherey esandwear ebothstuckin
astaringmoment .Iputmyhandonhercheekandbr i
nghercloserbeforeki
ssi
ngher.Shehas
fr
ozenandIpr oceeddev ouri
ngherlipst i
l
l shecapturesmineinresponse.Thekississlowy et
sti
llbuil
dingfi
retoer uptint
osomet hingmeani ngfullanddeep.Somet hi
ngforei
gntomymi nd
andbodyandemot ions.Mybodytingl esmor ethattheusualofwhenIt ouchLandi
swa.She
breaksitoffandashockpl ast
ersonherf ace.

Xol
i
le:
"Iam sor
ry"

Sher
unsof
f.Ist
andup.

Me:
"Xol
i
le!"

Ishoutafterherandal
readyshei
sfar
.Damni
tMuzi
youshoul
dn'
thav
edonet
hat
.Ical
loneof
theguards.

Gaur
d:"y
esy
ourMaj
est
y"

Me:
"fol
l
owherandmakesur
eshei
ssaf
e."

Hebows

Guar
d:"y
esy
ourhi
ghness.,
"

Hewal
ksof
f.

312
.

*LANDI
SWA*

Beepingsoundskeeponpl ayi
ngi nmymi nd.Thesmel lofdisinf
ect
antisst
rongonmynose.I
tr
yt oopenmyey esbutithaspr ov endif
fi
cult.Itryforafewt i
mesandsuddl enymyey esopen
beingsharpl
yattackedbyt heli
ghtRay '
sfrom thel i
ghtintheroom.Ilookaroundandi tseems
l
ikeIam i nthehospit
al.Iremembert hebloodsoaki ngmyl egsasIwasinpani ck.It
ouchmy
stomachandi t'
sfl
atandt earswel dupinmyey es.Iam sickofcryi
ngandfeelinghurt.Iam si
ck
ofit.Nkonzowalksinwithcof f
eei nhi
shand.Hel ookssoawf ul
.Hestopshist r
acksandl ooks
atmef orawhi l
eandIseehi sey esarered.Idon' tknowifhewascr yi
ngorwhat .Hecomesby
mysi deandputsthecof f
eedown.

Nkonzo:
"comeher
e"

Ithr
owmy sel
fathi
m andhej
ustholdsme.Nowor
dsint
endedandi
tissi
l
enti
nher
e.Il
ett
he
heartachesinkandget
snumb.Ilookuptohi
m af
terawhi
le.

Me:
"Il
osti
tdi
dn'
tI?"

Hesi
ghandIknowt
hatIl
ostt
hepr
egnancy
.Imi
scar
ri
ed.

Me:
"iam sor
ry"

Heissi
l
entbutj
ustpul
l
smet ohim andtear
sar
ri
veatmyey
esandr
undownmycheeks.He
ki
ssesmyfor
eheadsayi
ngnot
hingatall
.

Me:
"Ishoul
dn'
thav
eitgett
ome,
Iam sor
ry"

Nkonzo:
"youneedt
orest"

Me:
",Nkonz
o"

Nkonzo:
"Iwon'
tl
eav
e"

Inodandheper
ksmyl
i
ps.

Nkonzo:
"Il
ovey
ouok?"

Inodandhemakesmer
estsocomf
ort
abl
yandshor
tl
yIcl
osemyey
es.

_
___
___
___
_

313
Thembeka:"y
oumustt
hinkt
haty
ouar
ecr
azy
.Youf
uckmeandnowy
ouwantt
oleav
emef
or
yourbabymama"

Shepoi
ntedagunathi
m.

Mkhokhel
i:
"Iwi
ll
takecar
eofourdaughterbutusi
sn'
tworki
ng.Il
ovey
ouy
esbuty
ouar
etoxi
c
Thembeka.Howmanytimeshav
ey oucheatedonmewithThami"

Hesay
scal
mly
.Shei
sinr
angewhi
l
ecr
ocki
ngt
hegun.

Thembeka:
"Ihat
eyouMkhokhel
i"

Mkhokhel
i:",
don'
tsayt
hat
.Putt
hegundown.,
"

Shel
ower
sitandhewal
ksf
orwar
dtoherandst
andsi
nfr
ontofher
.

Mkhokhel
i:
"Iwi
l
lcomef
orLandi
swa.Takecar
e"

Hewal
kedt
owar
dst
hedoor
.

Thembeka:
"youwon'
tusemeandgetawaywi
thi
t"

Sheai
medandshotthebackofhi
sheadandhedr
oppeddownandbl
oodf
il
ledt
hef
loor
.She
st
art
edshaki
nggoi
ngdown.

Thembeka:
"shi
twhathav
eIdone?
"

Shel
ooksathi
snowdeadbody
.

Thembeka:
"Mkhokhel
i"

Sil
encef
il
ledt
her
oom.Shest
oodupandwentt
otheki
tchenandcamebackopeni
ngabot
tl
eof
champagne.

Thembeka:
"yahnehwaf
aNj
a(spi
tonhi
m )y
out
houghty
oucanmakeThembekaDal
mini
your
pl
aygr
oundhuh."

Shet
ookasi
pandgunnedi
nfort
heWhi
skyst
rai
ghtf
rom i
t'
scont
ainer
.

Thembeka:
"andt
hisr
ubbi
shy
oul
efti
nme.Thi
s!!
"

Shewasint
earswhi
lehi
tti
ngherpr
egnantst
omacht
hatwasnowv
isi
bleandshewasal
most
due.Sheshothi
sback.

Thembeka:
"Got
ohel
l!
!!
"

Shescr
eamedandcriedwhi
l
ecancar
ryi
ngonheral
cohol
par
ty.Shewentt
otakeherphone
anddi
aledNokzol
a.

314
Nokzol
a:"y
ini
?"

Thembeka:
"St
ophi
dingIj
ustki
l
ledhi
m"

Nokzol
a:"i
ni?(What?
)!"

Thembeka:
"ey
ijustcomeher
ewi
tht
heguysowecandi
sposehi
sbody"

Nokzol
a:"ncncThembeka"

Thembeka:
"st
opl
ect
uri
ngme.Youknowi
fIgodownf
ort
hisy
out
oo"

Nokzol
a:"Iam comi
ng.Anddon'
tyouknowwhat
'scondom i
s."

Thembeka:
"voet
sekandt
hisr
ubbi
shdoesn'
twannadi
e"

Nokzol
a:"Iam comi
ng.Hol
don."

Shehangsupandl
ooksatt
hedeadMkhokhel
i
.

Thembeka:
",noonemesseswi
thme."

Shedr
agshi
sbodyandsi
tsoni
twhi
l
elaughi
nganddr
inki
ngsomemor
e.

_
___
___
___
___
__

23y
ear
sago.

That'sthevisi
onofhowmymot herkill
edmyf ather.That 'showIwascur sedandhowi became
brokenwhenIhear dhersay ."Si
mbul el
e",howcoul dshedot hat?Howdoesshesl eepatnight?
Doesev eryevildeedmakeherhappy .Iwonder.That 'showIl ostmychancet obeabet t
erme
.bettermothert hanher .HonestlyIfeelli
kedying.Iopenmyey esandt herei sanot eIwipemy
tearsandit'
sNkonzot el
li
ngmehewoul dbeback. If eeltoomuchpai nmadet oomanyst upid
mistakesinmyl if
eandIdon' twantany more.Ipullthedr ipoffmeandIf eel dizzy.Ibal
anceon
thebedbef oreget ti
ngof fandwal ki
ngsl owl
ywhi l
ekeepi ngmybal ancetothebat hr
oom.Igot
thereandIlookedatt hemi rrort
hisisnotme.Il ookt hinandpal eandfrail
likeIaged.Il ettear
s
dotheirworkandIt aket hetowel andputinbat hwat er.Thebl oodi sdri
ppingont hefl
oor
heavily
.May bebecauseofhowIpul l
edt heI
Vof fmyski n.Ifeel weakbutatt hismomentIdon' t
care.Istri
pandgeti nandsi nkmysel fwhil
elookingatt hefadingceili
ng.

Me:
"It
'st
oomuch"

Thosewor
dscomeoutsof
tl
ybef
oreIpassoutwhi
l
esi
nki
ngi
nthi
swar
m wat
er.

315
.

Commentandshar
e.

I
nser
t49

*
PALESA*

IStuf
fmyfacewi t
hasandwi chdi
ppedint
heicecream t
ubthatisbetweenmylegs.Tearsrol
l
downmyey esasIam feeli
ngandlooki
ngfatwhi
letheKardashi
anslooksobeauti
ful
.Aki ck
comesinandIholdmyst omachandputmysandwi chaway.Myphoner i
ngsandItakeitwhil
e
rol
l
ingmyey esandcl
i
ckingmyt ongue.

Me:
"whatMongezi
!?"

Ihi
ssathi
m.

Mongezi
:"don'
ttal
ktomel
i
keIam y
ourf
ri
end"

Me:
",uf
unani
(whatdoy
ouwant?
)"

Monegezi
:"packy
ourst
uffIam comi
ngt
her
e"

Me:
"todowhat?Ki
l
lme?"

Mongezi
:"i
fIwant
edt
oIwoul
dhav
edonet
hatal
ongt
imeago."

Me:
"mxm "

Monegezi
:"Iam comi
ng"

HehangsupandIhi
ss.

Me:
"fucky
ouMongezi
youCunt!
"

316
Ist
andupandcl
eart
hel
oungeandmyphoner
ingsagai
n.It
akei
t.

Me:
"WhatMongezi
what!
?"

"Hai
bousukhul
umanami
kanj
alo?(Yout
alkt
omel
i
ket
hatnow?
)"

Me:
"ohmahni
njani
?(Ohmom howar
eyou?
)"

Mom :
"Iam notok,
wedon'
thav
efood"

Isi
gh.

Me:
"Iam sor
ry.Iwi
l
lbr
ingt
heal
l
owancey
ousentback"

Mom :
"nonsenset
hat
'sforyoutosur
viv
einv
arsi
tymychi
l
d.I
fyougett
heeducat
ion.Iam
pr
oudofyouthaty
ouarestudyi
ngandawayfr
om boy
s."

Tearsroll
downmycheeks.Youknowt hatmomentofguil
tthemomentwhenyouli
etoyour
parent
sandsuddenlytheyf
eelproudofyouoversomet
hingthat
'snott
her
e.Yept
hat'
showI
feel
.Ifeell
ikemyhear
twasr i
ppedapart.

Me:
"youdon'
thav
etosayt
hat
"

Mom :"ofcauseIhav
eto.Iam pr
oudofy ou.Soony
ouwill
comedownt
othevi
ll
ageiny
our
dream carworki
ngasaDrmychild.Thenall
themenint
heworl
dyouwi
l
lhavet
hem asyouar
e
beauti
fulPALESA.Myfl
ower."

Me:
"(
sof
tl
y)MamaIhav
etogo.Wor
kiswai
ti
ngf
orme."

Mom :
"okIl
ovey
ou"

Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo."

Ihangupandhol dmyphonet omychestandr ubmyt ummy .Ihat

ethis.Hatelyi
ngt omy
mot her.Tr
uthisIcoul dn'tcarr
yonst udyi
ngbecauset her
ewer eNSFASproblemsandsome
studentshadt obedr opped.Iwasoneoft hosestudentsandIwasi nmy3rdy ear.Iwas
studyingRadiology.Icouldn'tcarr
yonandgoi nghomewasn' tanoptionsobeingast ri
pper
that'
swher eIlandedj ustsoIcouldsur vi
ve.Imeant hisi
sGauteng.Nowher eIam goingtobe
amot herattheageof20.Myl i
feismessedup.Thedooropensandhewal ksinwear i
ngjeans
withawhi t
egol fshirtandsneaker s.Hisbear
disnicelytr
immed.

Mongezi
:"whyar
eyoust
andi
ngher
edi
dn'
tIi
nfor
myoupack?
"

Hesayswithafrown.Iam l
ooki
ngathi
sli
psastheymovebutIhearnot
hing.Hesnapshi
s
f
inger
sinf
rontofmeandIsnapoutofwhatev
erplaceIAm i
n.

Me:
"Iwi
l
lgopack"

317
Mongezi
:"hur
ryup"

Inod.Iwal
ktomybedr
oom.Iwonderwher
eisNdabat
hist
imecausehei
sal
way
swi
thhi
m.

*
AMANDA*

Ayimyfriendnev
erfi
ndspeaceyoh.Notsolongagowewereherejusttoseeheraftert
hat
di
ckheadbeatherfort
hewhatIdon'tknowandnowIhearsheisinthehospi
talagain.Ihav
e
j
ustparkedmycarandIwalktorecepti
onandIsawGogowal ki
ngby .Irunt
oher .

Me:
"MaDl
ams"

Shetur
ns.Ihugher
.Shel
ookshor
ri
blewi
thcl
othest
hathav
ebl
oodt
hathasdr
iedupandt
urned
browni
sh.

Me:
"kwenzakal
eni
?Uphi
uLandi
swa?
(Wher
eisLandi
swa?
)"

Gogo:
"shei
sher
e."

Me:
"whathappenedt
hist
ime?
"

Gogo:
"let
'ssi
tdown"

Me:"wecan'tsitdown.Ineedt
oseeherandgett
het
rut
houtofherandki
l
lwhoev
erl
anded
herher
ethi
st i
me"

Gogo:
"Amandashel
ostt
hebaby"

Me:
"babywhatbaby
?"

Iwasconf
used.

Gogo:
"shewaspr
egnant
."

Isankont
othebencht
hati
sbyt
hepassage.

Me:
"(t
ear
y)wel
ostourbaby"

318
Shesatnextt
omeandIj
ustcr
iedwhi
l
eshehushedme.

Gogo:
"shhshewi
l
lbeok.Shehasus."

Me:
"shedi
dn'
ttel
lme.Iam suchabadf
ri
endsi
sterev
en.
ishoul
dhav
ebeent
her
eforher
."

Gogo:
"youar
eal
way
sther
eNanadon'
tbeaty
our
sel
fup.Let
'sgi
veherabi
tofspace"

Thet
ear
swoul
dn'
tst
opcomi
ngdown.Ij
ustcr
iedmyl
ungsout
.

*
NKONZO*

Nt
sika:
"ei
shhademf
wet
hu(sor
rymyman)
"

Me:
"yeah"

Nt
sikai
smyhal
fbr
other
.Li
tt
lebr
other
.

Nt
sika:
"manj
ehowi
sshef
eel
i
ng?
"

Me:
"inpai
n."

Nt
sika:
"andy
oucan'
tcomf
ortt
osav
eyourl
i
fe"

hel
aughedandIj
oinedi
n

Me:
"nxxTsek"

Nt
sika:
"nawe(y
out
oo)y
ouknow we.
..
..
."

Myhear
twasn'
tateasel
i
keIwashav
ingahear
tat
tack.Igr
oaned.

Nt
sika:
"Mandon'
tgr
oankwenzakal
ani
?(Whati
sgoi
ngon?
)"

Me:
"(i
npai
n)somet
hingi
swr
ong"

Nt
sika:
"Nkonzo.
."

Idr
oppedmyphoneandwentdownandanur
ser
ushedt
ome.

319
Nur
se:
"si
rar
eyouok?"

Me:
"I.
..
..
"

Thepai
nfadedawayl
i
kenothi
nghappened.Theneckl
aceIwasgi
venbyMaDl
ami
nil
i
ght
sup
andi
t'
snotwhit
ebutr
edthi
sti
me.Somet hi
ngiswr
ong.

Me:
"Iam f
ine.Ineedt
oleav
e."

Istoodupandtookmyphoneandr antoLandi
swa'sr
oom.Shewasn'tinherbed.Iwalked
around.Wher
ecouldshebecausesheisweak.Idon'
tknowwhybutmyey eslandedonthe
fl
oorandIsawblooddropl
etsmakingatrai
l
.Ifol
l
owedittot
hebathroom.Igoti nandthe
hospit
algownwasont hef
loor
.Igottothebat
htubandsheissi
nkingintherewithhereyes
cl
osed.

Me:
"Shi
tLandi
swa!
"

Ipul
lheroutoft
hewat
erandshei
sst
il
l.

Me:
"Landi
sway
oubet
terwakeup"

Itaket
hetowelandwrapheri
nitandwalkoutoft
hebat
hroom andgoandLayheront
hebed
andIrunoutandmeetaDronthepassage.

Me:
"Ineedy
out
ocheckonLandi
swaIf
oundheri
nthet
ub"

Dr:
"butsi
rIhav
etobei
ntheoper
ati
onr
oom i
n10mi
nuet
s."

Me:
"doesi
tlookl
i
keIf
uckencar
etoy
ou!
!"

"Nkonzowhati
sthenoi
sef
or?
"

I
t'
sMaDlaminiandLandiswa'
sfr
iend.
idon'
thav et
imeforthem r
eall
y.IdragtheDri
ntothe
wardandhechecksonLandiswa.Hisexpr
essionisn'
tgi
vi
ngaway .Herushedoutandcomes
backwit
hnursesandstartt
oconnectmachinestoher.

Me:
"issheok?"

Dr:
"let
'sdoaCPR"

Honestl
yIam i
rr
it
atedatthi
smoment
.HedoesaCPRandIam nothappyt
hathei
ski
ssi
ng
Landi
swabutwhatchoicedoIhav
e.?

Nur
se:
"herhear
tbeati
sdr
oppi
ng."

Shesay
slooki
ngatt
heDr

Dr:
"pl
easest
epout"

320
Me:
"Iam notgoi
ngany
wher
enowMakesur
eshei
sok"

Thebeepi
ngsoundsarel
oudenoughtoher
e.Theykeeponbei
ngbusyanddoi
ngwhatt
heyar
e
doi
ng.Thent
hereissi
l
enceandaloudmachinesound.

Me:
"whywhydi
dyoust
opdosomet
hing!
!"

Icanf
eel
myhear
tcl
enchi
ng.

Dr:
"Iam sor
ry"

Hel
ooksdown.

Me:
"Whatar
eyousor
ryabout,
don'
tbesor
ryandwakeherup!
!!
"

Thenur
seput
sasheetov
erheranIcoul
dfeel
myey
esbur
ning

Dr:
"youcancal
lthemor
tuar
y"

Mybodyf
eltnumb.

"
NoLandi
swa!
!"

ThatwasAmanda.Shewascr yingherlungsout .Al umpwasi nmyt hr

oatandcoul dn'tseem t
o
goaway .Icouldn'tgetri
dofitinsteadIleti
tbeandt earsjustlef
tmyey es.Iwalkedcloserto
whereshei scover edandIpullthesheetaway .Amanda'scr i
esareheard.Shelookspeacef ul
l
ikeshehasnot roublesatall
.Li keshejustdidn'tdieorwasdecl ar
eddeadj ustami nuteago.
Shelookedlikethet hebrokenwomanIf ellforyetpeaceful.Iperkherli
psast heyarecol dandI
hugherandl etthet ear
sgushoutandt hereissilence.Iholdontoherandr eali
sethatshei sno
more.Nomor eLandi swa,nothing.Ilostalot.

Me:
"FuckLandi
sway
ouar
esel
fi
sh"

If
eel
ahandonmyback.

MaDl
ams:
"itwi
l
lbeokndodana"

Idi
dn'
tl
ist
ent
oherbuthel
dont
oLandi
swaast
het
ear
sdr
iedi
nmyey
e.

Commentandshar
e.

321
I
nser
t50

*
LANDI
SWA*

Iwasst andingbythecr ystal

clearwat erf
allmaki ngbeauti
fulsounds.Gr eenplantsandbeaut i
ful
fl
ower s.Iwasinal eopar dSkinnotwhatIexpect ed.Am Inotsupposedt obeinawhi tedressor
somet hing,seei
ngt hegat esofheav en.Iam goingt oheavenright.YeahIwon' tbecauseIhav e
doneal otofbadthings.Ikeeponwal ki
ngar oundt i
lli
reachthecl earwaterandIcr ouchand
touchitandr unmyf ingersandt hewat erfeelswar mthananticipated.Youcancl earl
yseethe
fi
sht hatareswimmi ngunder neath.It'
sli
keami niaquari
um.Ihearf ootstepsfr
om behindme
andIst andupandt ur nandtherear eabout5whi tePanthersandsomeol dmenwi thone
woman.Iknowt hiswomanf rom somewher e.ThePant herschangeandt heyareoldmenand
myf ather.Iruntohi m

Me:
"baba"

Hehugsme.

Me:
"lookf
inal
l
yIam gonnabewi
thy
oui
npeace."

Hebr
eakst
hehug.

Dad:
"Iam notatpeaceLandi
swa"

Me:
"why?"

Woman:
"Whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
eMakot
i?"

Makot
i?Il
ookather

Me:
"Iam her
eformypeace."

322
"Laaah"

Il
ooktowher
et hel
i
ttl
evoicei
scomi
ngfr
om andthesepeoplemoveasi
deandNtombiappear
s.
Tear
sstr
eam downmyey esasIgot
oherandshesmileswit
hherdi
mplest
hatfor
evermade
myday.

Me:
"Nt
ombi
"

Isayhuggi
ngherandshehugsmeback.

Me:
"Imi
ssy
ouNana.Ev
ery
day"

Isaycr
ying.

Nt
ombi
:"Met
ooLaahbutIam al
way
swi
thy
ou"

Me:
"ev
ersi
nceIl
osty
out
hingschanged"

Nt
ombi
:"l
ookatmeLaah"

Il
ookather
.

Nt
ombi
:"y
our
emembery
oupr
omi
sednott
ocr
y?"

Inodded

Nt
ombi
:"don'
tcr
yAny
mor
e.Doi
tforme.
"

Ismi
l
eandsnuggl
ehert
ome.

Woman:
"heneedsy
oumor
ethanev
er."

Il
ookather
.

Man:
"MaDl
ami
nit
heyst
il
lneedy
ou"

Me:
"forwhatbaba?
"

Dad:
"forwhati
saboutt
ocome.TheKi
ngdom needsy
ou,
lear
nhowt
ousey
ourgi
ftandf
rom
t
henonitwil
lbeok."

Me:
"iwr
ongedmyancest
ors.TheQwabeancest
orswon'
twantany
thi
ngf
rom me"

Woman:
"don'
twor
ry.Justf
ocusonget
ti
ngback"

Il
ookatNt
ombi
.Shesmi
l
esandIsmi
l
easwel
l
.Sheput
sherhandonmyst
omachandIl
ook
ati
tandcr
y.

Nt
ombi
:"Al
lmyt
omor
rows,
theyal
lfory
ou

323
Al
lofmyal
way
s

Foral
lmywhol
eli
fet
hroughmay

(
Bot
h)causey
ou'
ret
heoneIwant

Iwantt
ogi
vet
omor
rowt
o

You'
l
lal
way
shav
e

Al
lmyt
omor
rows,
they
'r
eal
lfory
ou"

Ismi
l
edandhuggedheragai
n.

Me:
"Il
ovey
ou"

Nt
ombi
:"Il
ovey
out
ooLah"

Dad:
"gobackLandi
swai
t'
snoty
ourt
ime"

Il
ookathi
m.Thewomanandt
ome.Shel
ookssof
ami
l
iar
.Shecr
ouchedi
nfr
ontofme.

Woman: "Iknowt hatsometi

mesmySonissomethi
ngel
sebutpl
easeholdontohim.He
needsyoumor ethany outhi
nk.Youmayhav
enotseei
tbuthedoes.Nowsincey
'al
lar
ejoi
ned
thr
oughbloodthennot hi
ngcansepar
atey
ou"

Me:
",t
hroughbl
ood?
"

Shesmiledandst
oodupandtheyal
lwal
kedbackwar
dsori
sitl
i
kemewal
ki
ngbackwar
ds
causenowwewer ef
arapar
t.

Woman:
"t
ell
myNkonzot
hatIl
ovehi
m"

Shesmileswaving.Thati
sNkonzo'smother.?Shedoesl ookabitl
ikeHim.It
'sbl
ack,
nowater
nogreennatur
e.IstandandlookaroundandIseet hel
ight.Iam notreadyt
ogobacktoreal
it
y.
Il
ovedithereIwasinpeace.It
'sl
i
kesomet hingpushedmet owardsit.

Me:
"Lor
dgi
vemest
rengt
h."

Myhandj
ustwentt
omyst
omachwher
eNt
ombi
touchedandIj
ustsmi
l
edbef
oremyey
esshut
.

_
___
___
___

Ifeel
suff
ocatedandmychestseemstobeburning.Icanhearsomeonecryi
ngmynameout
andIcan'
tevenmov emybody.Am Ipar
alyzeorsomet hi
ng?Iopenmyey esandIsmel
land
i
t'
sNkonzowhoi sholdi
ngme.Myey esareburni
ngbutIholdhim back.

Me:
"Nkonzo"

324
Heisnotmovi
ngorany
thi
ng.Ilookathi
m andwear
elai
dint
hebedwhi
l
eIseeAmanda
out
sidescr
eami
ngandcry
ing.Imovehim agai
n.

Me:
"Nkonzo"

Heri
seshi
sheadabitandl
ooksatmebefor
ecl
osingandopeni
nghi
sey
esi
nshockandI
gi
ggl
edbef
oreIat
tackedhi
m wi
thahugandhecaughtme.

Nkonzo:
"ist
hisr
eal
?Am Idr
eami
ng?"

Me:
"Iam her
e"

Het
henl
ookedatmeal
lser
iousandIswal
l
owedmysal
i
vaandcoughed.

Nkonzo:
"letmecal
ltheDr"

Hewal
kedout
.Il
aidt
her
eandsomeonej
umpedonmeandsl
appedme.

Me:
"ouch"

Amanda:
"whydoy
ouwantt
oki
l
lyour
sel
f.Uf
unaukungi
shi
yanobani
!?(
whodoy
ouwanna
l
eav
emewi t
h?)

Herey
eswer
epuf
fyandr
ed.Gogohel
dher
.

Gogo:
"Amanda,
shei
snotok.Let
'swai
tfort
heDr"

Amanda:"i
sn'
ti
tyouwant
edt
oki
l
lyour
sel
f.Theni
wil
lhel
pyouandmakesur
eyoudon'
twake
upt
histi
me."

Shewant
edt
oat
tackmebutgogohel
dherandshebr
okedownandIcr
iedaswel
l
.

Amanda:
"doy
ouknowt
hepai
nLandi
swat
het
houghtandev
ery
thi
ngwas"

Sher
ushedoutandt
heDrwal
kedi
n.Ij
ustcl
osedmyey
es.Ihur
ther
.

Wel l
af t
ertheDrscheckedonmeanddr ai
nedsomewat erthatcouldbedrai
nedbutt
hechest
painsarethere.TheDrsai dIcouldsuff
erfrom Pnemoniaafterthi
s.Il
ookatthesi
deandheis
standingtherelooki
ngoutsidethewindow.Ijustgotof
fmysl eep.Hehasn'
tsai
danythi
ngaf
ter
Iwokeupf rom thedead.IsitupandIlookathim.Hehashandsi nhi
spockets.

Nkonzo:
"wel
osther
.Wel
ostourchi
l
d"

Il
ookeddown.Thet
ear
swer
en'
tcomi
ngoutsur
pri
singl
y.

325
Nkonzo:
"Yesshewasi
nyoubutshewasour
s"

Hei
sconv
incedi
twasagi
rl
.

Me:
"Iknow"

Nkonzo:"noyouknownothi
ngLandi
swa.Not
hing.Iwashurtj
ustasy ouwer
ebutItr
iedt
obe
str
ongforyou.Whentheydecl
aredy
oudeadIdon'tknowhowIfeltcausei
twastoomuchand
nowIam justnumb"

Me:
"NkonzoIam sor
ry.I
tsj
ustt
hatev
ery
thi
ngi
stoomuch"

Nkonzo:"t
oomuch?Whati
stoomuchLandi
swa.Peopl
egot
hrought
het
oughestshi
tev
ery
day
butdotheygi
veup?
"

Me:
"somedo?
"

Nkonzo:
"youar
enotsome.Youar
eLandi
swaf
orar
eason."

Me:"(Tear
y)WhatreasonisthatHuhNkonzo,t
hatmymot herhat
esme, shekil
l
edmyf ather
bef
oreIwasbor
n!Huh! ?ThatIsleptwit
hmyboyfr
iend'
sbest
fri
end?!That
'sIwasst
rangled
andthr
owndownthestair
sforthat!?.
..
."

Het
urnedandhedi
dn'
tl
ookgood.Hecl
enchedhi
sjawsl
ooki
ngatme.

Me:"Il
ostNt
ombi,thati
tturnsoutIam r
oyal
tyandaQwabef
orf
uckssakesIdat
edandsl
ept
wi
thmycousinst
hatIneverknew wewerefamil
y!!
"

Iwasshout
ingwhi
l
ecr
ying.Iwasangr
yatl
i
feandmy
sel
f.Hehel
dmeandIcr
ied.

Me:
"it
'st
oomuchNkonzo"

Nkonzo:
"Shi
ft"
,

Ishi
ft
edandhegotont
hebedandpul
l
edmet
olayont
opofhi
m.

Nkonzo:
"ifIdeci
dedt
hatnahmyl
i
fei
stoomuchIwoul
dhav
eki
l
ledmy
sel
flongt
imeago."

Il
ookathi
m andhewi
pesmyt
ear
sandper
ksmyf
orehead

Nkonzo: "
mymot herhadanaffai
rwithaMarriedman.Iwaspr oduced.Heleftherwhent hings
werelookingupinhismarri
age.Mymot herwasdev istatedfrom thatbutshedidn'tknowshe
waspr egnant.Iwasbornandshedied.Mygr andmot hertookmeandr ai
sedme.Shewasa
shebeenQueenatt heKasiweliv
edin.Fight
swoul dbr eakoutandshoot i
ngs.(Hechul cked)I
don'tknowhowmanyt i
mesIhav ebeenshotfrom t
heageof8t i
llnow(Igasped)my
grandmot herwastoughandshetaughtmehowt obet ough.I twasl i
keIwaslivi
ngwi t
haman.
Iwasmol estedattheageof10bymygr andmot her
'sboy fr
iend"

326
Me:
"whydi
dn'
tyout
ell
her?
"

Hechuckl
ed

Nkonzo: "t hatwoul dhav ebeenadeat hwi sh.Hewasadr ugLor d.Hemademesel ldr ugsat
school toot herschool kids.Allt hecashImadewasgi vent ohim.Ti mewentbyandIwasi na
badcr owd.I nhighschool wewer eknownast heSkhot hanegr oup, wewer efearedaswel l.Any
ofyourneedsweser vedt hem.Dr ugst hemost.Iwast hel eaderofi tandt hent hest artof
CocaineusewaswhenIwas16.Icoul dn'tbar ehowdi rtyIf el
tthatanot hermandoesmel ikea
gir
l.Hi smenknewbecauset heywoul dhol dmedownatt imesashewoul dhav ehi swaywi th
me.Theangeratmygr andmot herst artedt here.Iresent edher.Idi ddat egirl
satschool but
onlytarget edv i
rginsandt ookt hatawayf rom t hem.Iwant edsomeonet of eelthesamewayas
Iwasf eeling.Smal landused.Lessofaman.Idon' tknowhowmanyt imesIf ail
edgr ade10
andev endr oppedoutal ongt hewayandbecameadr uggi et hatwentoner r
andsf orhi smast er.
Icouldn'tcope.Mygr andmot herwasst ri
ctandshef oundoutIwasn' tgoingtoschool anymor e.
Shebeatmet oapul pandt oldmet ogobackev enifIam ondr ugsbuti ntheendshewant s
thatdegr ee.Iwentbackandst ar t
edagai n.Shewoul dmoni torschool butthat'sall.Iwasn' t
coping.Ir eallywasn' t.Ipassedgr ade10wentt othenextandt henext .Itwaseasyf orme
causeIwassmar tandIwasdr ill
edi nbooks.Thef i
rstper sonIki l
ledwasmyf ri
endKhumo.(I
cri
nged)hest olefrom br aSalemygr andmot her'
sboy f
riendandhesai dIshoul dpull thetri
gger .
Iwasscar edImeanhewasmygoodf riend.Buti twasei therhim orme.I tstartedget ti
ng
worset henunt i
l mygr andmot herandt hatmandi edi nacaracci dent.Ihadnoonel eftcause
shewasal lIknewbutIcar ri
edonwi t
hwhatIgot .Igott oVar sityattheageof20andIwasst i
ll
sell
ingdr ugsj ustt ogett hatdegr eemygr andmot heral way spreachedandt hat'swhenImet
Muzi .
(Hesmi l
ed)hewaswi ldandy ouwoul dn'
tsayhewasf r
om r oyalt
ysoasMenzi .
hewant ed
i
nont hedr ugbusi nessandwegoti nandi tgrewbecausepeopl ehadpr oblemst oescape.I
metmyf at hery earslat erandf oundoutIhav eal i
ttl
ebr ot heraswel lwhichi sNt si
ka."

Hewassi
l
ent

Me:
"Iam sor
ry"

Nkonzo:
"it
'sok.I
t'
sthepast,whatIam say
ingi
sthati
twi
llgett
ougherandt
ougheri
nli
fet
hat
youdon'
tseeli
febutdon'
tgi
veup.IfIdi
dIwouldhavenev
ermety ou"

Hel
ooksatmeandIbl
ush

Me:
"st
opi
t"

Hechuckl
edandbr
oughtmecl
osert
ohi
m.

Nkonzo:
"letmecar
ryy
ourbur
densnow,
off
loadonme"

Me:
"youaswel
l"

327
Henoddedandhel
dmycheeks.

Nkonzo:
"Il
ovey
ou"

Ismi
led.AndhekissedmeanIr et
urneditt
henIlai
donhi
schestl
i
steni
ngtohishear
tbeat
.It
wassoothingandIjustt
hought
.Ihavetobestr
ongformenow.Peopledependonmeas
muchi dependonthem.

#Landi
swat
hesi
dechi
ck:
fal
l
ingf
orhi
m

Commentandshar
e

I
nser
t51

Itakeasmal lglanceathim asheisbit

inghisbott
om l
i
pwithafr
ownonhisfacewhi
le
consecrat
ingont heroadahead.Ileanont hewindowandl
ookoutwhi
l
elookingatt
his
beauti
fulplace.IneverthoughtIwil
lsoonbebackhere.I
tbri
ngsmemori
esIwanttobury
.

Amanda:
"Landi
swaKuni
niubi
zwa(Landi
swahowmanyt
imeshav
eIcal
l
edy
ou?
)"

It
urnt
othebackandl
ookather
.

Me:
"sor
ryy
ouwer
esay
ing?
"

Gogo:
"Eat,
youhav
en'
ttouchedy
ourf
ood.I
t'
sgonnabecol
d"

Me:
"Iam f
ull
nowgogo"

Shenods.Iputt
hebur
geraway
.

Gogo:
"Mf
anawam whenar
ewear
ri
vi
ng"

328
Nkonzogl
ancesatmet
henl
ooksatgogot
hrought
her
evi
ewmi
rr
or

Nkonzo:
"wear
e5Mi
nut
esawaynowMaDl
ami
ni"

Gogo:
"ok"

Ther
eissi
lence.Wef i
nall
yarr
iveatthepal
ace.Myhearti
sbeati
ng.Nkonzoparksthecar
behi
ndanotheroneandMongezi st
epsoutwithNdaba.Igetoutandr
ushtohim andjumpina
hugandhecatchesmel aughi
ng.

Mongezi
:"IseeIwasmi
ssed."

Me:
"youhav
enoi
dea"

Mongezi
:"Ihear
dandIam sor
ryIwasn'
tther
e.Wel
lyouknow"

Me:
"it
'sok"

Hel
ookedatNkonzo.

Monegezi
:"Landi
swa"

Me:
"Ihav
ebeent
hroughal
otpl
easedon'
tcauseascene"

Mongezi
:"y
ourdoi
ngswi
l
lcauseone"

Il
ookedathi
m

Me:
"wow"

Iwasi
rr
it
ated.

Mongezi
:"l
et'
sgo"

Iwentt
oNkonzo.Hewasl
ooki
ngatMongezi
.

Me:
"Nkonzo"

Hemov
edhi
sgazeFr
om Mongezi
tome.

Me:
"let
'sgo"

Thegir
lwhoMuzii
mpregnat
edgotoutofthecarandwewal
kedinsi
dethePal
ace.I
tseemsl
i
ke
ever
yonewashav
ingLunch.Theywer
elaughi
nganditwasanenjoy
abl
esight
.

Mongezi
:"Kumnandi
ekhay
aneh(i
t'
sni
ceathome)
"

Gogo:
"Mongezi
"

Queen:
"ohLandi
swaMnt
anami
howar
eyou?Comegi
vemeahug"

329
Thet
ensi
oni
nher
eist
hickt
haty
oucancuti
twi
thkni
fe.Iwentt
oherandshehuggedme.

Queen:
"youl
ookbeaut
if
ulandgl
owi
ng"

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Mbal
i:
"whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?"

Amanda:
"asi
zi
lengawe(wedi
dn'
tcomeher
efory
ou)
"

Mbal
i:
"buty
ouar
emydi
ningr
oom "

Amandachuckl
ed.OhmyGodt
roubl
e.

Gogo:
"Amandabehav
e"

Shemadet
he"Iwi
l
lsl
i
tyourt
hroat"si
gnatMbal
i
.

Icl
ear
edmyt
hroatl
ooki
ngatal
lthemenher
e.

Ki
ng:
"Iwi
l
lwai
tforDumi
sani
"

Hesaidlooki
ngatNkonzoandwal
kedof
f.Thi
smanscar
esmebutnotl
i
keNkonzo'
sfat
her
.He
l
efthor
rorinme.

Queen:
"Nkonzo"

Nkonzo:
"Ndl
uvukazi
"

Menzi
:"whatar
ey'
al
ldoi
ngher
e.?
"

Mongezi
:"Thi
sisourhome."

Gogo:
"It
hinkweshoul
dsi
tdownf
ort
his"

Queen:
"uhm ok,
Xol
i
lepl
easecheckonNomaandcal
ltheKi
ng"

Shenoddedandwalkedof
f.IsawMuzi'
seyeswonderwi
thherti
l
lshedi
sappeared.Wewer e
l
edtotheloungear
eaandwesatdown.Mbali
andAmandagivi
ngeachotherdeathst
ares.

Amanda:
"MyQueen"

Mbal
i:
"yes?"

Amanda:
"hay
iwena(noty
ou)"

Mbal
i:
"butIam t
henewQueenoft
hisl
and"

Amanda:
"di
dIask?
"

330
Nkonzo:
"Amanda"

Hisdeepaut
hor
it
ivevoi
ceechoedthr
ought
her
oom .Shekeptqui
etsul
ki
ng.I
twassi
l
ent
.Then
Nomacamedownt hest
air
srushi
ng

Noma:
"Landi
swa"

Amanda:
"Idar
eyout
otouchher"

Ev
ery
one:
"Amanda"

Amanda:
"ay
i"

Ist
oodupandhuggedNoma.

Me:
"youok?"

Noma:
"Imi
ssedy
ou"

Me:
"met
oo"

"
Hlal
ani
phansi
(si
tdown)
!"

Myspi
newentcol
dandMuzi
,Menzi
andNkonzost
oodup.

Them :
"Baba"

Queen:
"Dumi
sani
"

Dumi
:"Nomal
anga"

Hesatdownl
ooki
ngatusandt
heKi
ngwal
kedi
n.

Gogo:
"wecanbegi
n"

Thisi
sit.Il
ookatt
hemenwhower
esov
erycl
oset
omyhear
tandal
lthegoodmemor
iesj
ust
fl
ooded.

*
ZANELE*

331
Dadwal
kedi
nandIr
ushedupt
ohi
m andhuggedhi
m.

Dad:
"wher
eisshe?"

Me:
"upst
air
swi
thaunt
yNokzol
a."

Heholdsmycheeksandwi pesmytears.Lastni
ghtmom wasontopofther ail
wayont he
bal
conysay
ingscreamingforMkhokhel
i.Ihat
eseeingmymotherl
ikethat.Ireal
lyhat
ei t
.,l
ucky
aunt
yNokzolawenttocheckonherandf oundherbefor
eanydamage.Ijustcall
eddadcauseI
don'
tknowwhattodo.

Dad:
"shhIam her
enowbaby
.Itwi
l
lbeok.Yourmom I
sst
rong"

Me:
"Ihat
eseei
ngherl
i
ket
hat"

Dad:
"shewi
l
lbeok.Iwi
l
lmakesur
eoft
hat"

Ifel
tbet
ter
.Ir
eal
l
yneedmom t
obeokagai
n.Whoam Igonnagoshoppi
ngwi
thwhenshei
snot
fi
ne.?

*
XOLI
LE*

Thekiss.Icoul dn'
tgetitoutofmymi ndnomat terhowmanyt i
mesIt ri
ed.Hisscenthit
ti
ngmy
nostri
lslikefreshfl
avouredair.Histouchthatsentat housandt
inglesallovermybody.Al oud
messagehewassendi ngy etIcouldn'
tacceptandr eceivei
t.Myfingerstrailt
omyl i
pswhile
traci
ngt hestepsofwher ehislipswer e,
thetendernessandheatIst i
l
lfeelitaft
erdaysfr
om
thatkiss.Ifeelhandonmyt hi
ghandIsnapout ..

Ndumi
so:
"wacabangakangakay
ini
?(Youar
ethi
nki
ngt
oomuch,
whati
swr
ong?)
"

Wear
eint
hepal
aceki
tchenandIwashel
pingoutwi
tht
hedi
shes.

Me:
"not
hing"

Shel
ooksatmebutIi
gnor
ehi
m.

Cel
i
we:
"di
dyouseet
hosebeaut
if
ull
adi
es."

332
Amandl
a:"t
hepr
egnantoneort
heot
herone?"

Cel
i
we:
"theot
herone"

Ndumi
so:
"Landi
sway
oumean.Shewasher
ebef
oref
ort
hecor
onat
ionandt
heot
herone
r
emember?"

Me:
"Theonet
hatt
hescept
orwentt
o"

Ndumi
so:
"yebo.Ihear
dhei
spr
inceMuzi
'sgi
rl
fr
iend"

Celi
we: "(onecl
ap)Youhehast
omarryhery
eses.Ndal
ospeakshi
ghl
yofher.Shesay
sshei
s
thereasonwhysheisschool
i
ngi
nCapeTownnow"

Ndal
oishernei
ghbor
.

Ndumi
so:
"ev
enNat
hiwhenhewaschosent
ogost
udy
.Iwassohappyf
orhi
m"

Iam si
l
enti
nthought
s..Iki
ssedhi
m andhi
sgi
rl
fr
iendi
sher
e.

Amandl
a:"ar
eyouok?"

Me:
"(f
akesmi
l
e)y
eah"

Shenodded.TheQueenMot
her
'sassi
stantcamei
n.

Funeka:
"MsAmandasai
dshewant
s3bot
tl
esofwi
neandi
cei
nthel
oungeXol
i
le"

Me:
"Iam st
il
lbusy"

Honest
lyIdi
dn'
twannawal
kout
.

Funeka:
"shoul
dIi
nfor
mtheQueenaboutt
hat
?"

Shesay
swi
thar
aisedey
ebr
ow.

Me:
"noi
t'
sfi
neIwi
l
lgo"

Shet
urnedandl
eft

Ndumiso:
"justbecauseshei
stheQueenMot
her
'sassi
stantshet
hinksshei
sQueenof
Khany
isa"

TheylaughedandIwipedmyhandsandwentt othePalacewinecel
landgoteveryt
hingand
Ndumi sohel
pedmeandwewal kedout.Ther
ewassilence.Icoul
dfeelMuzi'
seyesonmebut
Idatednottolookathi
mi nst
eadlookedathi
sgi
rlf
ri
end.Sheisbeaut
if
ulandlookssweetbut
theeyebagsyoucan'tmissthem.

Lady:
"ooouht
hanky
ou,
sengi
fi
leukomay
oh(Iwasdy
ingf
rom t
hir
st)
"

333
Shesai
dopeni
ngt
hewi
nebot
tl
eandgul
pedf
rom i
t.

Queenmot
her:
"Thanky
ou"

Shesmi
l
edaswebowedbef
orewal
ki
ngout
.

Ndumi
so:
"shei
swi
l
dyousuchdi
srespect"

Me:
"that
'sci
tygi
rl
sfory
ou"

*
LANDI
SWA*

Ilookedatthedi
rect
iont
hegirl
wentandMuzi
waslooki
ngther
etoo.Idon'
tknowwhybutI
ki
ndaf eel
hurt
.Imeanhisbabymamaisher
ebutheismycousi
nIshouldn'
tfeel
li
ket
hatri
ght?

Ki
ng:
"canwest
art?"

Amanda:
"yesNkosi
YamaKhosi
(yesKi
ngofKi
ng'
s)"

Ev
eryonel
ookedatherandshewasn'
tfazed.

Mongezi
:"Iwantt
het
hrown"

Menzi
:"(l
aughi
ng)Dr
eamsdocomet
rueneh"

Ki
ng:
"Menzi
"

Nkonzohel
dmyhandMuzi
clenchedhi
sjaws.Il
ookeddown.

Baba:
"whoar
eyouwenai
ntombazane?
"

Poi
nti
ngatPal
esa.

Pal
esa:
"Iam Pal
esaBaba"

Amanda:
"(i
ndi
gust)Muzi
'sbabymama"

Theyal
ltur
nedt
oMuzi
whowasl
ooki
ngdownt
hisr
ound.

334
Baba:
"Muzi
tal
k"

Ishi
ft
ed.Iwhi
sper
edt
oNkonzo

Me:
"yourf
atheri
sscar
y"

Hechuckl
ed.

Queen:
"WhataboutLandi
swaMuzi
?"

Il
ookeddown.

Me:.It
hinkgoi
ngaroundthebushj
ustt
ohidet
hingsi
sn'
tgonnawor
k.Iwantt
ocomecl
ean
andbeopenaboutevery
thi
ngthati
sgoi
ngon."

Ev
ery
one'
sey
eswer
eonme.Ist
oodup

Me:"Iwoul
dfi
rstl
i
ket
oapol
ogi
set
otheQueenandKi
ngandal
soNomaf
orAmanda'
s
behav
iour"

Amandar
oll
edherey
es.

Me:"honestl
yfrom hereonwar
dsthingsbet
weenmeandMuzi won'
twor
koutany
mor
e.Fi
rst
ly
ourr
elat
ionshi
pisbey ondr
epai
rmainlyf
ormyfool
i
shnessandhis."

It
ookadeepbr
eat
hhewasl
ooki
ngatme.

Me:
"Iam sor
ryf
orev
ery
thi
ngandt
hanky
ouf
ort
hel
ovey
ouhav
eshownmeandsoasMenzi
"

Mongezi
:"Landi
swasi
tdown."

Gogo:
"lethert
alkMongezi
"

hekeptqui
et.Myhear
twasbeat
ingonmyt
hroat.

Me:
"wear
eher
ebecausewewantt
ocl
earev
erybadt
hingandbadbl
oodbet
weenus."

Amanda:
"youar
eal
one"

Godt
hisone.Shecar
ri
edonsi
ppi
ngont
hewi
ne.

Me:"MenziIwantt
osayIf
orgavey
ouforly
ingandhur
ti
ngme.Ilongdi
dit
'sjustthatIdi
dn'
t
t
ell
you.(If
iddl
edwithmyf
inger
s)MuziIam sor
ryf
orbetr
ayi
ngy
ou.Usbot hwithNkonzo"

Nkonzol
ookeddown.

Gogo:
"tal
kdon'
tbescar
ed"

Ibr
eat
hedout
.

335
Me:
"Icheat
edonMuzi
,Wi
thNkonzo"

Ev
ery
onegasped.I
twast
heQueen,
NomaandMbal
i.

Mbal
i:
"Iknewshewasabi
tch!
"

AmandapouredWi neonherandshescreamed.I
twasal
lfastandAmandawassl
appi
ngher
al
ot.Mongezihel
dMandawhileMenzigotMbali.

Mbal
i:
"youTr
ampl
ookwhaty
oudi
d"

Amanda:
"abi
tchi
syourmot
herandhergr
avey
ardVi
rgi
napr
oduci
ngy
ou."

Nkonzo:
"Amandagoout
sideandcal
m down"

Amanda:
"Iam notl
eav
ing.Iam notl
eav
ingLandi
swa"

Baba:
"ev
ery
onesi
tdownandshutup"

Ev
ery
oneset
tl
edashi
svoi
cer
oar
ed.Nomal
ookedatme.Il
ookeddown.

Baba:
"car
ryon"

Isi
ghed.

Me:
"inal
loft
hatIf
ell
pregnantbutIdi
dn'
tknowwhowast
hef
ather
.Iam sor
ryf
orev
ery
thi
ng"

Queen:
"wecanst
il
ldoat
est"

Tear
srol
l
eddownmyey
es.

Me:
"Imi
sCar
ri
ed"

Queen:
"ohmyGod"

Muzi
wassi
l
entbuty
oucoul
dseet
heangeronhi
sface.

Me:
"Idon'
tbl
amey
ouf
orwhaty
oudi
d.Youwer
ejustangr
yandi
t'
sunder
standabl
e"

Amanda:"under
standabl
eforwho?
!Thatt
hisFuckert
hrewy
oudownt
hest
air
slandi
ngy
oui
n
thehospi
tal
huh?Landiswa?"

Shewasboi
l
ing.

Me:
"Amanda"

Amanda:
"youar
egonnapr
otecthi
m Landi
swa!
?"

Shewasshout
ing

336
Muzi
:"Amandat
hat
'snotwhathappenedsodon'
ttal
krubbi
sh"

Thatwast
hef
ir
stt
imeIhear
dhi
mtal
kal
one.

Amanda:
"bul
l
shi
tandy
ouknowi
t!"

Gogo:
"Al
lofy
oucal
m down"

Agunshotwasr
eleasedandwescr
eamed.

Me:
"ohmyGod"

Commentandshar
e

I
nser
t52

*LANDI
SWA*

Amanda:
"it
'sbul
l
shi
tandy
ouknowi
t"

Gogo:
"al
lofy
oucal
m down."

Agunshotwasr
eleasedandwescr
eamed.

Me:
"ohmyGod"

Every
thi
ngwasfastandt
hebul
l
etgoi
ngt
oMuzi
'
sdi
rect
ionandNkonzoat
tacki
nghi
m .They
bothwentdown.

Amanda:
"fuckImi
ssed"

Shesai
dhol
dingt
hegunIdon'
tev
enknowwher
eshegoti
t.Icr
ouchedi
nfr
ontofhi
m.

Me:
",ar
eyouok?OhmyGodcal
lanambul
ance."

337
Amanda:
"Iam sor
ryNkonzo,
itwasn'
tfory
ou.I
twasf
ort
hatdi
ckheadf
ri
endofy
our
s"

Muzi
:"Iam gonnaf
ucky
ouup"

Gogo:
"cal
m down.Nkonzoi
sinj
uredandAmandabr
ingt
hegunher
e"

Amanda:
"Ist
il
lwannashoothi
sbal
l
s"

Me:
"SHUTUPJUSTALLOFYOUSHUTUP!
!"

Ther
ewassi
l
enceandIt
urnedt
oNkonzo

Me:
"Nkonzo"

At
eardr
op.Whyi
sther
etr
oubl
eaf
tert
roubl
e.Hecoughedwhi
l
ehol
dinghi
sst
omach

Nkonzo:
"Thi
sissmal
l
.Iwi
l
lbeok"

Muzi
:"Iam sor
ryboy"

Baba:
"t
heambul
ancei
sont
heway"

Me:
"(cr
ying)Idon'
twannal
oosey
oul
i
keNt
ombi
.Il
ostherher
e"

Ther
ewasabi
gsi
l
encewhi
l
eIcr
iedandNkonzowascoughi
ngandhest
art
edcoughi
ngbl
ood.

"r
ushhi
mtooneoft
her
oyal
rooms"

Wel
ookedupandi
twasSengway
o.

Sengway
o:"Boy
scar
ryhi
m."

Nkonzo:
"(gr
unt
ing)i
am f
ine"

Gogo:
"st
opt
alki
ng"

Theycar
ri
edhi
m andAmandahuggedme.

Me:
"Iam scar
ed"

Amanda:"Iam sor
ry.Idi
dn'
tmeant
oshoothi
m.KodwaNay
euNkonzoshoul
dn'
thav
etaken
thebul
l
etfort
hatthi
ng"

Me:
"Amanda"

Amanda:
"okIam sor
ry"

Me:
"wher
edi
dyougett
hegunev
en?
"

Amanda:
"ial
way
shadi
t.I
t'
sjustt
hatIdi
dn'
tknowwhot
ousei
ton"

338
Ishookmyhead.

Mbal
i:
"YabonaMenzi
ngi
hambani
that
hanj
e(YouseeMenzi
.Yougoandsl
eepWi
thany
thi
ng
)"

Amandacr
ockedhergun.

Amanda:
"Iam gonnabl
owy
ourbr
ainsandgot
ojai
ll
ikeIam onv
acat
ion"

Me:
"Amanda"

It
ookt
hegunf
rom her
.Yoht
hatt
hingi
sheav
y.Wewentt
hedi
rect
iont
heywentwi
thNkonzo.

*
MUZI*

Tosaythedayisgetti
ngwor se.Iwi
shIwaswi t
hXoli
l
enowbutshei
savoidi
ngmeandnow
Sengwayoismakingusdr i
nkthisbadwater
.AmandaandLandi
swawalkinandAmandagives
meadeat hst
are.Istil
lcan'
tbeli
eveNkonzotookt
hebul
letf
orme.Theyhaveundr
essedhi
m
ontopandheistopless.

Gogo:
"Landi
swa,
Menzi
,Muzi
andMongezi
takeof
fyourshoes.
"

Wedi
dthat
.Sengway
obur
nedt
hei
ncense.

Landi
swa:
"shoul
dn'
tbebegoi
ngt
othehospi
tal
?"

Sengway
o.:
"Nowewi
l
ljustt
aket
hebul
l
etoutandmakehi
m dr
inkt
hisr
emedy"

Muzi
:
"thi
swoul
dn'
thav
ehappenedi
fsomepeopl
edi
dn'
tcome"

Amanda:
"sl
eepwi
thoneey
eopenwenaIam war
ningy
ou"

Shepoi
ntsatme.

Me:
"ist
hatat
hreat?"

Amanda:
"that
'sapr
omi
set
hatIwi
l
lshooty
ou"

339
Sengway
o:"Akeni
thul
enobabi
l
i(bot
hofy
ou)"

Wekeptqui
et.

Gogo:
"ther
eisal
ott
hatneedt
obedone."

Landi
swa:
"hei
sshi
ver
ing"

Sengway
o:"hewi
l
lbef
ine"

ThesightofNkonzowasn'
tpl
easant.If
eel
formybr
other
.Iwasscar
edofhi
m dy
ing,
all
that
angerIhadtowardshi
mjustv
anished.

Sengway o:"Qwabe, Gumede, Phakathway o.Si

bali
khuluboDlamini
.(Hepaused)Mkhi ze,
Khabazel amavovigcwabe, Ngunezi khanyemaseswni (cl
annames)Iam cal l
ingupont he
Mkhi ze,QwabeandDl amini ancestorstowr i
tethewrongsinthesechildr
enslife.Iknowthat
theywr ongedbutsaveyoursonboMkhi ze.SaveyoursonNoQwabef orgreatergoodoft hi
s
kingdom.Hel pyourdaughterandgui deherasy ouhav echosentobet heforseerofthis
Kingdom boQwabe.Pr otectLandi swaBoGumede"

Whyar
etheyaski
ngf
ort
hist
hingsf
orLandi
swaundermysur
name.?

Sengway
o:"Landi
swal
aynextt
oNkonzo"

Mybloodst
art
edtoboil
.Hestoodupandst
artedpour
ingsomet
hingsont
othem chant
ingt
he
QwabeandMkhizesur
name..Sheismygir
lf
ri
end.

Sengwayo:
"MuziandMenzi
alongwit
hLandi
swahav
etodoasmal
lcer
emonyasanapol
ogyt
o
theQwabeancest
orsf
orwhattheydi
d."

Queen:
"oh"

Sengway
o:"t
heancest
orsar
ever
yangr
ywi
tht
hem."

Me:
"whatar
etheyangr
yatmef
or?"

Amanda:
"forbei
ngadi
ckr
emember
?"

Me:
"IswearIwi
l
lfucky
ouup"

Amanda:
"tr
y"

Mongezi
:"cany
oubot
hshutup"

Sengway
o:"Landi
swai
sMkhokhel
i
'sl
ongl
ostdaught
er"

Mkhokhel
i?

Menzi
:"y
oumeanasl
i
kebaboMdal
a?"

340
Ki
ng:
"Mybr
other?
"

Sengway
o:"y
es"

If
eltmysoul
leav
emybody.Ev
ery
thi
ngj
ustshutdown.

Me:
"wai
tthatmeansLandi
swaandIar
erel
ated?
"

Sengway
o:"y
esv
erymucht
hat
'swhyt
hescept
orchoseher"

Ist
oodupandj
ustwal
kedoutwi
thev
ery
onecal
l
ingme.Att
hispoi
ntIdon'
tknowwhatt
odoor
thi
nk.

*LANDI
SWA*

Hej
ustwal
kedout.Iwant
edt
orunaf
terhi
m andchecki
fhei
sokbutal
soIam neededher
e.

Menzi
:"Ineedt
ocheckonhi
m"

Hest
oodupandwal
kedout
.

Queen:
"ohJehov
ahwhati
sgoi
ngon"

Mongezi:
"babawheny
ousai
dLandi
swawaschosenbyt
hescept
ordi
dyoumeanshei
sment
t
orule"

Me:
"Mongezi
thi
sisn'
taboutt
het
hrown"

Sengway
o:"
No,
Menzi
isokwher
ehei
sandi
fyougoaf
teri
tyourl
i
fewi
l
lchangebadl
y"

Mongezi
:"mmmh"
,

Me:
"don'
tthi
nkabouti
t"

Gogo:
"It
hinkev
ery
oneshoul
dleav
epl
easesowe.Canhel
pNkonzo"

Ev
ery
onest
oodupandwal
kedout
.

341
Gogo:
"i
sitst
rongSengway
o?"

Sengway
o:"
yes"

Me:
"Whati
sst
rong?"

Gogo:
"shh"

Theyl
ookedshady

Me:
"GogoKhul
uma(t
alkgogo)
"

Gogo:
"Landi
swadoy
ouwantNkonz
otol
i
ve?
"

Il
ookedathi
m anat
eardr
opped.Hi
sey
eswer
ecl
osed

Me:
"yes"

Gogo:
"thenl
etusbe"

Theygav
emeMut
itodr
inkandi
twasl
i
ght
sout.

*
MADLAMI
NI*

Wehavebeenint
heroom f
ortwohoursnowwi
thSengwayo.Hejusttol
dmeandIam sur
pri
sed
andhappy
.Il
ookatNkonzoandLandi
swaandt
heylookwonderf
ultogether
.

Sengwayo:
"sel
i
suki
l
eif
uel
i
mny
amaphezukukaLandi
swa(t
hedar
kcl
oudov
erLandi
swai
s
gone.)
"

Me:
"oht
hat
'sgood."

Il
ookather
.

Me:
"Ial
way
swant
edgoodt
hingsf
orher"

342
Sengway
o:"Andshei
sdest
inedf
ort
hoset
hings."

It
ouchedhercheekt
henbandagedNkonzo.

Af
ewmont
hspassed.

Wel lthi
ngswer erockybuttryi
ngt obui l
dthroughtheawkwar dnesswi thMuzi .Thecousi nnews
reall
yhi tushard.Wel l
Icarri
edonwi thschool .Palesagav ebi rt
ht oabeaut if
ul babyboynamed
Okwent andoandt heQueenwassohappy .Wellt
womont hsbackMuzi andt hatgir
lIoncesaw.
Yest heser vantstart
edseeingeachot her.Iknowt hisbecauseshel iv
esher enowandschool s
i
nt hesamecampusasme.Shedoesn' tli
kemef orsomer easonandi t'
snotl ikeIwantherto
bemyf riend.Surpri
singlymycircleoff r
iendsisgrowi ngfrom t wot o4now.YepNomaand
Amandapat chedthingsupandt heyforgav eeachotherandt hent hereisPalesa.Sheissucha
nicegi r
l onceyouknowher .Mandl aandAmandabr okeupf orr easonsunknown.Hewentback
tohisbabymamaandwecomf or t
edt hetoughAmanda.Ihav ebeenf eelingheav yt
hese
mont hsmai nl
ybecauseIst uffmyf acej usttogetov erthi
ngs.Ist i
lldon'twantt her
apybutIam
prayingnowof tenthatcountsright?Okbackt onowmyr eal
ity.

Igotoutoftheshowerandwr appedmy selfi

natowel .Ihavenocl
assestodaysoyi
miibozza.I
gotoutofthebathroom andwat chedhim ashewasl ay i
ngonthebedlooki
ngup.Damnt his
manisdrippingsauce.Ismiledatmy selfandthi
nkhowt hismyst
eri
ousmanal way
ssurpri
ses
meinwayIdon' tunder
stand.Iwal kt
owar dshim hol
dingt het
owelandgetonthebedontopof
hi
m beforeheopenshisey es.

Me:
"Hi
"

Heshowsof fhi
ssmil
eandadimpleappears.I
t'
srareforhimtosmil
eandital
waysl
eaves
but
terfl
i
esandbubbl
esinme.Hehol dsmywai st
.Hepullsmecloserandweshar
eakiss.Bi
t
bybitheisget
ti
nghar
dfrom t
hisbodywarmingkiss.Ibreaki
t.

Nkonzo:
"(deephoar
sev
oice)hi
"

Il
aughandrol
ltot
hesideget
ti
ngoutofthebedand.Hesit
sup.Idr
opt
het
owel
andt
akemy
l
oti
on.Ist
artt
olot
ionmybodyandthenheclear
shisthr
oat.

Nkonzo:
"Baby"

It
urnt
ohi
m

Me:
"yesSnuggl
es"

343
Hefr
owns.Hel
ookssocute.Hehat
esthatnameanddoesn'
twantanypetnamecausehesay
s
Iwi
l
lrui
nhi
sstr
eetcr
ed.Hecomestowardsme.

Nkonzo:
"Iwi
l
lpuni
shy
ou.YouknowIdon'
tl
iket
hatname"

Me:
"ButIl
ovesnuggl
i
ngnextt
oyou"

Ipoutt
hrought
hemi
rr
orandhecamecl
oset
omeandki
ssedmyneck.

Nkonzo:
"letmel
oti
ony
ou"

Igav
ehi
mthel
oti
onandhest
art
edl
oti
oni
ngme.

Tobecont
inued

I
nser
t53

*
LANDI
SWA*

Heki
ssedmynecksl owlywhi
ler
unni
ngt
heloti
ononmybacksl
owl
ygoi
ngdownt
omywai
st.
Hi
swarm handssendingti
ngl
esdownmyspine.

Me:
"ar
eyoudone?"

Nkonzo:
"Pat
iencebaby"

Hekissedmynecksoft
lyandIsl
i
ghtlymoanedandhi
shandswentt
omybr
east
sandhe
squeezedt
her
e.Caressi
ngthem sl
owly.

Me:
"aahsnuggl
esi
thur
ts"

Hel
ooksatmet
hrought
hemi
rr
or.

344
Nkonzo:
"butIdi
dn'
ttoucht
hem t
hatmuch"

Me:
"Iknowbuti
thur
ts"

Helooksatmeandgoest
othecl
osetandIwearmyunder
wearandhecomesbackwi
th
t
racksui
ts.

Nkonzo:
"getdr
essedwear
egoi
ngt
otheDr"

Me:
"for?
"

Nkonzo:
"Ij
ustwannabesur
ethaty
ouar
efi
ne."

Me:
"butIam f
ine."

Nkonzo:
"let
'snotar
gue"

IknowIwi
l
lloose.Heal
way
swi
ns.

Me:
"ok"

Hewenttoputonat-
shi
rtandhoodi
eandIworemyt racksui
tandsneaker
sandt i
edmybraids
andhet
ookmybagandourphonesandwewal kedout.Wewal keddownthestai
rsandGogo
washavi
ngteawit
hthenewhelpermaZul
u.Theygetalongli
keahouseonf i
re.

Gogo:
"Mf
anawam."

Nkonzo:
"sani
bonani
(hel
l
o)

Gogo:
"wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?"

Me:
"wear
ecomi
ngbackgogo"

Gogo:
"ok"

Wesaidourby
eswhi
leNkonzotookthecarkey
sandheopenedthedoorf
ormeandIgoti
n
andhegavememybagandIthankedhim andhewentt
ohissi
deandgotinanddr
oveof
f.My
phoner
angwhil
eonourway.

Me:
"Noms"

Noma:
"Pal
esa'
sapar
tment15:
00"

Me:
"occasi
on?"

Noma:
"coder
ed"

Me:
"yohok,
don'
tsayt
hatt
oAmanday
ouknowshewi
l
lbr
ingev
eryweaponshehas"

345
Shel
aughs.

Noma:
"okchi
o"

Ihangup.

Me:
"whatdoy
out
hinkmi
ghtbewr
ongwi
thme?
"

Nkonzol
ooksatmeandIpl
acemyhandonhi
sthi
gh

Nkonzo:
"it
'sj
ustanassumpt
ionbutIt
hinkCancerbutIam notadoct
or"

Me:
"(
kissi
nghi
scheek)Okay
"

Iam Whati
fiti
swhathet
hinki
tis.

*AMANDA*

Iwasjustgett
ingreadyforworkinmyapart
mentwhenmyphoner angontheki
tchencounter
asIplacedmycoatont hebarstoolandi
twasMom.Isighed.Shewill
wantmet ovi
sitwhenI
am notreadyto.Iansweraft
erthethi
rdr
ingwhi
lest
il
lmovingar
oundandcheckingif
ever
ythingisi
norder.

Mom :
"Manday
oudon'
twantmeany
mor
e?"

Me:
"yes"

Mom :
"Iam hur
t"

Shesay
sinasul
ki
ngv
oiceandIl
augh.

Mom :
"mxm ,
Ihopey
ouar
enoti
nanyt
roubl
e."

Iwentt
othef
ri
dgeandopenedi
twhi
l
etaki
ngoutbot
tl
edwat
er.

Me:
"youknowt
hel
awi
smesoIgetawaywi
thany
thi
ng"

Mom :
"appl
edoesn'
tfal
lfarf
rom t
het
reewi
thy
ouandy
ourf
ather"

Ismi
l
e.

Me:
"it
'st
het
rut
h.Adaught
erf
oll
owi
ngi
nherf
ather
'sf
oot
steps"

346
Mom :
"yes,
visi
tnawei
t'
sbeensol
ongandbr
ingmyot
herdaught
er"

Ismi
l
ed

Me:
"ifBay
andaandHi
swi
fewon'
tvi
situnexpect
edl
y"

Mom :
"oouhIhav
enewsaboutt
hatone"

Me:
"izanazomngani
(br
ingt
hem myf
ri
end)
"

Mom :
"Got
owor
kwewi
l
ltal
kwheny
ouv
isi
t"

Me:
"ahMahy
ouseey
our
sel
fnow"

Mom :
"youshoul
dhav
ebeenaj
our
nal
i
stnotal
awy
ert
hewayy
oul
ovenews"

Me:
"Iam abi
tofy
ouanddad"

Shel
aughed.

Mom :
"goy
ouar
egonnabel
atef
orwor
k"

Me:
"by
e"

ShehungupandIl ookedatmyphonebeforetaki
ngmycoat,bagandcarandIopenedmy
doorandwalkedoutlocki
ng,Mycarwenttotheserv
icesoIwi
llt
akeacab.Iwenttomycab
andIstoppedseei
nghiml eani
ngonhi
scar.Ifrowned.

Me:
"whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
eMandl
a?"

Mandl
a:"Ij
ustmi
ssedy
ou"

Me:
"mi
ssedme(chuckl
e)y
eahr
ightgobackt
oyourbabymama"

Hehel
dmyhandsandIsl
appedhi
m.

Me:
"don'
ttouchme"

Mandl
a:"y
ouhi
tme?"

Il
ookedathi
m andhest
eppedcl
oser
.

"Getawayf
rom herbef
oret
hingsgetugl
y"

Hel
ookedatmewi
thhi
sjawscl
enchedandt
henhesmi
l
ed.

Mandl
a:"t
il
ldeat
hdousapar
tAmanda"

Het
urnedandwentt
ohi
scar.

347
Mongezi
:"sot
hat
'st
het
hingy
oudat
ed.?"

Me:
"Whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?"

Mongezi
:"Icamet
ofet
chy
ou.Iknowy
ourcari
satt
heser
viceso"

Me:
"Idon'
tneedy
out
ofet
chme."

Mongezi
:"Iwasn'
taski
ngr
eal
l
y"

Me:
"justbecauseweal
mostf
uckeddoesn'
tmeanany
thi
ngMongezi
"

Hesmil
edandt
ookouthi
sri
ghthandf
rom hi
spocketandt
ouchedmycheekbutImov
edmy
f
ace.

Mongezi
:"st
opbei
ngf
iest
y.Youknowt
hat
'sat
urnon"

Idon'
tknowwhybutmyey
eswentt
ohi
sbul
ge.

Me:
"Fucky
ou"

Hechuckl
ed.

Mongezi
:"Icanwor
kwi
tht
hat"

Me:
"mxm"

Iwal
kedt
ohi
scar
.

Me:
"ar
eyougonnat
akemet
owor
korwhat?"

Mongezi
:"(
shaki
nghi
shead)Sur
e"

Hecameandopenedt
hedoorf
ormeandIgoti
nbef
orehewentt
ohi
ssi
deandt
henhedr
ove
of
f.

*
XOLI
LE*

348
Iwal
keddownt hestairshear
ingtr
y i
ngsounds.Ifeelsoti
redandIst
ayedupl astnightdoi
ngmy
assi
gnment.
iwalkedintothekit
chenandMuzi wasinsweatpantsmovingaroundt hekit
chen
si
nginganddancing.Inoti
cedhelikestodothatalotandtherei
sthi
ssongthathel oves.The
mostwhichheplayslikeahundredt i
mes.Idon'tr
emembert henamebutithast omorrowinit
.
Heturnedt
omeandsmi l
edbeforecomi ngcl
osertomeandper kedmyl i
ps.

Muzi
:"mor
ninghoneybun"

Me:
"mor
ning.Whatt
imei
sit?"

Muzi
:"8am.Youshoul
dgobackansl
eepy
oul
ookt
ir
ed."

Me:
"nope.Iwasn'
ttaughtt
ost
ayl
ongi
nbed."

Hehol
dsmywai
st

Muzi
:"y
ouneedt
orel
ax.Babyok?
"

Me:
"oky
ourhi
ghness"

Hechuckl
edandt
urnedmear
oundandweshar
edaki
ssandIbr
okei
t.

Muzi
:"comel
etmef
eedy
ou"

Me:
"(smi
l
ing)
Thanky
ou"

Hesatmedownandsatnextt
ome.

Muzi
:"Iam goi
ngt
oseeNt
andot
oday
"

That
'shi
s4mont
hol
dson.Hel
ooksj
ustl
i
kehi
m.

Me:
"that
'swonder
ful
.Iwi
shIcoul
dcome"

Muzi
:"met
oobabebutwhati
fwemakeourownbaby"

Pal
esadoesn'
tl
ikeme.

Me:
"hay
iMuzi
Ist
il
lhav
eschool
"

Muzi
:"wewi
l
lhi
reananny"

Me:
"noNt
andoi
sst
il
lyoung"

Hef
edmeast
rawber
ryandIsmi
l
ed.

Muzi
:"y
ouar
ebeaut
if
ul"

Me:
"thanky
ou"

349
Wecar
ri
edi
neat
ing.

Me:
"Muzi
"

Hel
ookedatme.Iwasf
iddl
i
ngwi
thmyf
inger
s.

Me:
"whyi
sthatpur
pler
oom al
way
scl
osed.?
"

Hest
oppedeat
ingandcl
osedhi
sey
es.Hecl
enchedhi
sjaw

Muzi
:"y
ouopenedt
her
oom ?"

Hel
ookedatme.

Me:
"Uhm noi
twasopenandIsawi
tandwentt
ocl
ean"

Hest
oodup.

Me:
"wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
"

Muzi
:"Xol
i
lepl
easedon'
tev
erent
ermydaught
er'
sroom ev
eragai
n"

Me:
"daught
er?"
,

Hewasoutofsi
ght

Me:
"Muzi
!"

Hedi
dn'tl
ookok.WhyhaveInev
erhear
dofhi
mtal
kabouthi
sdaught
er.?Iam wor
ri
edabout
hi
m.Ijusttookt
hedi
shesandwashedt
hem.

*
LANDI
SWA*

Aft
ert
heDrsappoint
ment,
Nkonzodr
oppedmeof fatPal
esa'
spl
aceandhehastogoandmeet
upwit
hhi
sfather
.Iam st
il
lscar
edofthatmanev
ennow.Igetther
ewitht
hreepl
ast
ics.

Me:
"Ladi
esIhav
esnacks"

Pal
esa:
"ohgood.Heygi
rl
."

350
Me:
"heybabes.Youl
ookwor
nout"

Pal
esa:
"Iwi
l
ltel
lyoual
lnow.Let
swai
tforMsl
awy
er"

Nomawal
ksoutwi
thawi
nebot
tl
e.

Noma:
"heybaby
.YohIhav
eal
ott
oasky
oubutf
ir
st"

Wesi
tdown.

Me:
"yep"

Noma:
"howdoesNkonzodoi
t?"

Me:
"Noma!Iam notdi
scussi
ngmybedr
oom busi
nesswi
thy
'al
l"

Noma:
"whatIj
ustwannaknow"

Pal
esa:
"yeahmet
oo.Hel
ooksl
i
keamachi
net
hatone"

Tr
ybot
hshr
eekandhi
ghf
iveandIcov
ermyf
ace

Me:
"ohmyGody
out
wo"

Pal
esa:
"justt
ell
us"

Me:
"okhedoesf
il
lmeupt
oomuch"

Noma:
"obv
iousl
y"

Me:
"thi
sismysexl
i
fewear
etal
ki
ngabout
."

Theyl
augh

Me:
"whatIcansayi
sthatIor
gasi
m al
otbef
oreweev
enst
art
"

Theyshr
eekandwel
augh.

"TheQueeni
sint
hepl
ace"

Thati
sAmanda.Shet
ookofhershoesandaboxont
het
abl
ewi
thf
lower
sandsi
tsdown.

Amanda:
"Iam sot
ir
ed."

Pal
esa:
"OouuhnewbaeIsee"

Shet
akest
hef
lower
s.

Amanda:
"Mor
eli
keamosqui
to"

351
Pal
esat
akesoutanot
e.

Pal
esa:
"ar
ewegonnahearweddi
ngbel
l
sfr
om y
ouandMongezi
?"

Me:
"what?"

Shehandst
hecar
dtoNoma.

Noma:
"isencanel
engane"

Shedoesast
epandIj
oini
nandwel
augh.

Pal
esa:
"shhhNt
andoi
sal
seep"

Us:
"sor
rymommy"

Amanda:
"wear
egonnat
alkaboutmel
ater
.Whati
shappeni
ngP?"

Shebi
tesherbot
tom l
i
p.

Pal
esa:
"itj
usthappeneddon'
tj
udge"

Noma:
"youandMuzi
?"

Amanda:
"nxxt
hatdev
ilnoof
fense"

Noma:
"it
'sokbabes"

Pal
esa:
"No.EwwuIdon'
twantt
hesamedi
ckwi
thXol
i
swa"

Noma:
"Xol
i
le"

Amanda:
"itst
art
swi
thanXr
ight?"

Me:
"r
ight"

Theyt
akeasi
pof
fwi
ne.

Pal
esa:
"Isl
eptwi
thNdaba"

AmandaChoked.

Me:
"asi
nli
keNdabakaMongezi
"

Noma:
"youmakei
tsoundl
i
ket
heyar
edat
ing"

Amanda:
"thesmi
l
e.Washegood?"

Pal
esa:
"ohmyGodhewasper
fect
.Hi
scont
rol
l
ingsi
dei
nthebedr
oom i
swhatIl
i
ke"

352
Weal
ll
augh

Amanda'
:
"i
fyougetl
aidandhappyt
henwear
ebabymama"

Noma:
"yesmama.I
t'
sal
laboutbuf
ebenow."

Me:
"iam donewi
tht
hat"

Theyl
ookatme.

Amanda:
"forr
eal
?"

Me:
"yeah.Thepastmi
stakesImadewer
etoomuchandIl
ear
ntf
rom t
hem."

Pal
esa:
"mi
net
oo"

Me:"y
eahweshoul
d.Honestl
yIneedtogr
owupandIcan'
tbr
ingonedayachi
l
dont
hisear
th
i
fIam st
il
laf
eat
hergoi
ngwit
hthewind"

Noma:
"whatar
eyout
ryi
ngt
osay?
"

Iputt
hechi
psdown.

Me: "iam r
eadyt
ogiveNkonzomyal
l..Iam r
eadyt
oopenupever
ythi
ngaboutmetohim.Iam
readytogolongwit
hhim andr
eal
l
yIam gonnabe24inj
ustaf
ewweeks, l
if
eistooshor
ttobe
carel
essnow."

Amanda:
"wowmnt
aseIam Sohappyf
ory
ou"

Theyhugmeandwebr
okei
t.It
ookmybagandt
ookoutt
heenv
elopeandspr
eadev
ery
thi
ngon
thet
able.

Me:
"keept
hisasecr
etguy
s"

Pal
esa:
"ohok"

Me:
"Iam di
agnosedwi
thbr
eastcancer"

Amanda:
"ohmyGod"

t
ear
srandownhercheeks.

Noma:
"ther
ehast
obesomet
hingdoner
ight?
"

Me:
"Ihav
eaDrappoi
ntmentnextweek."

Pal
esa:
"that
'sgoodr
ight"

Amanda:
"(cr
ying)Ican'
tl
oosey
ou"

353
Me:
"youwon'
t,
Ist
il
lhav
etoseey
oumar
rymybr
other"

Shepushedmeandwel
aughed.

Amanda:
"Shutup"

Ismi
l
ed.

It
ookoutt
heot
hert
hingsi
ntheenv
elope.

Me:
"(br
eat
hingout)Iam pr
egnant"

Theyl
ookedatme

Tobecont
inued

I
nser
t54

*LANDI
SWA*

Me:
"Iam pr
egnant"

Theyl
ookedatme.

Amanda:
"Iam sor
ryy
ouwhat
?"

Noma:
"(Jumpy)ohmyGodwear
egonnabeaunt
iesagai
n.Iam sohappy
."

Pal
esa:
"wel
lfort
hef
ir
stt
imeme.Iam sohappy"

354
Wel
ookedatAmanda.

Amanda:
"Ineedt
oshootNkonzo'
sbal
l
s"

Me:
"hai
bowhy
?"

Amanda:
"hecamei
nyou.Theonl
yti
mesomeoneshoul
ddot
hati
syourhusband.
"

Pal
esa:
"(passi
ngt
hewi
ne)dr
inkher
eandcel
ebr
ate."

Shet
ookt
hebot
tl
eandsmi
l
edandIdi
dtoo.

Amanda:
"ev
ery
oneknowsIam t
heGodmot
her
"

Pal
esa:
"youwi
sh"

Wel
aughandcar
ryonwi
thwhatwewer
edoi
ng.

Noma:
"soAmanda,
Mongi
"

Me:
"Mongi
?"

Pal
esa:
"Mongezi
"

Me:
"oh."

Amanda:
"(si
ppi
ngherdr
ink)wel
lnot
hingi
sgoi
ngonbet
weenus."

Us:
"oooouh"

Amanda:
"shutupt
het
hreeofy
ou"

Nt
andocr
ied.

Pal
esa:
"yohcan'
tIshi
phi
mtot
heKi
ngdom ?
"

Noma:
"youcanandmom woul
dn'
tmi
nd."

Pal
esa:
"Iam gonnaconsi
dert
hat"

Shewal
kedt
othebedr
oom.

Amanda:
"So.
..
."

Iknowwhatshewant
edt
oask

Me:
"wewi
l
ltal
klat
er"

ShenoddedandPal
esacamebackwi
thbabyNt
ando.

355
.

*
NKONZO*

Igottodad'
shouse.Honest
lyIdon'
twannacomeherebuthatchoi
cedoIhav
e.Whenhecal
l
s
you,youhavetobether
einaf l
ash.Ipar
kedmycarandIgotoutandwal
kedi
nsi
deandmet
Ntsi
kawatchi
ngTV.

Nt
sika:
"bi
gbr
o"

Me:
"It
houghtt
haty
ouwi
l
lbei
nCuba"

Nt
sika:
"Iwi
l
lleav
ewheny
ouhav
etol
eav
efory
ourt
rai
ningbef
orey
out
akeov
er."

Me:
"babai
ssodet
ermi
nedaboutt
hat"

Nt
sika:
"hei
sget
ti
ngol
d"

Il
ookedathi
m.

Nt
sika:
"ormay
behej
ustwannashagmom ni
cel
y"

Me:
"fuckof
f"

Hel
aughed.

Nt
sika:
"howi
sthef
ir
stl
ady?
"

Isatdownnextt
ohi
m.

Me:
"shei
s..
..
."

"Nt
sika,
Nkonzo"

West
ool
supasdadwal
keddownt
hest
air
swi
thhi
swi
fe.

Mamaki
:"Nkonzo"

Ij
ustnodded.Wedon'
tseeey
etoey
e.

356
Baba:
"thest
udy"

Hekisseshi
swif
e'scheekandwewal
kedt
othest
udyandhewentbehi
ndt
het
abl
eandNt
sika
cl
osedthedoor
.

Baba:
"youknowy
ouar
eleav
ingi
n3weeks?"

Me:
"3weeks?ButIt
houghty
ousai
dIhav
e3Mont
hsl
eft"

Baba:
"changeofpl
ans.Thesoonery
ougett
henecessar
ytr
aini
ngy
ouneedt
hebet
ter
."

Il
ookedatNt
sikawhoshr
ugged.

Me:
"howl
ongwi
l
lIbegone?"

Baba:
"ift
het
rai
ninggoeswel
l(openshi
swhi
skyandpour
sit)6mont
hs."

Me:
"Iwi
l
lmi
sshal
foft
hepr
egnancy
.

Nt
sika:
"pr
egnancy?Fi
rstl
adyexpect
ing?"

Ij
ustnoddedabi
t.

Ntsi
ka:
"damnIam gonnabeanuncl
e.Hopei
t'
sagi
rl
.It
ir
edofy
'al
l
'sf
aces.Ineedapr
ett
y
angl
e"

Me:
"gomakey
ourown"

Hef
rowns.

Baba:
"wecan'
tchangepl
ansbecausey
oucanscor
e"

Me:
"butbaba"

Baba:
"butNot
hingNkonzo"

Ijusttur
nedandwalkedout.Ir
eall
yhat
ehowbeingi
ntheFor
cet
akesyouawayf
rom y
our
familyandchangesyou.Igoti
ntomycaranddr
oveoff
.Ical
l
edLandi
swa.

Landi
swa:
"Snuggl
es"

If
rowned

Me:
"youknowIdon'
tl
iket
hat"

Landi
swa:
"justgi
veuponconv
inci
ngme."

Me:
"Iwantt
ofet
chy
ou"

Landi
swa:
"pl
easecome.Wemi
ssy
ou"

357
Iaut
omat
ical
l
ysmi
l
e.

Me:
"Imi
ssedy
'al
ltoo"

Landi
swa:
"come."

Me:
"iwi
l
lbet
her
ein.10mi
nut
es."

Landi
swa:
"okmncwa"

Ichuckl
edandshehungup.

*
AMANDA*

Wel
lar
eal
lwai
ti
ngt
ogoandIf
eel
sloshed.

Landi
swa:
"wel
lIhav
etogoi
naf
ew"

Me:
"ahl
andi
Ithoughtwewer
est
ayi
ngt
hewhol
eni
ght"

Pal
esa:
"oouhmay
benextt
imewhenNt
andoi
sinKz
n"

Noma:
"May
behi
tthecl
ubwhi
l
eati
t."

Landi
swa:
"hel
l
osomeofuscan'
tdr
ink"

Me:
"it
'snotl
i
key
oudr
inkv
ele"

Shepout
ed

Landi
swa:
"it
'sj
ustt
het
hought
.

Wel
aughedshaki
ngourheads.Ther
ewasaknockont
hedoor
.

Landi
swa:
"may
bei
t'
sNkonzo"

Shesai
dst
andi
ngup.

Noma:
"si
tdownhewi
l
lcomei
n"

358
Shesatdownl
aughi
ng.

Pal
esa:
"comei
n"

Hewalkedi
nwear
ingnav
ygol
fshi
rt.Nav
ychi
noswi
thGucci
sli
pper
s.Hi
sscenti
nvadedt
he
apar
tment.

Noma:
"ouuhwhatagr
andent
rance"

Idr
ankmywi
ne.

Hi
m:"heyl
adi
es"

Them :
"heyMongi
!!!
!"

Theygi
ggl
ed.

Me:
"Isweary
'al
lar
eki
ds.Whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?"

Mongezi
:"Icamet
ogety
ou.Remembery
ourcart
hati
satser
vice"

Me:
"(put
ti
ngt
hewi
nebot
tl
edown)
shi
tIf
orgott
ofet
chi
t."

Mongezi
:"i
t'
saty
ourhouse"

Pal
esa:
"ohhowsweet"

Il
ookedatherandshesmi
l
ed.Mongezi
tookmybagandcoatandshoes.

Mongezi
:"seey
ousoonl
adi
es"

Them :
"by
eMongi
!!
!"

Theyl
aughed.

Landi
swa:
"seemybr
otherbeachar
merboy"

Me:
"shutup.By
ebabes"

Ihuggedherandt
her
est.

Pal
esa:
"lethi
m knowy
out
oni
ght"

It
hrewachi
patherandshel
aughed.

Me:
"Iwi
l
lcal
lNdabat
ofucky
ou"

Shesul
ked.

Pal
esa:
"youar
epl
ayi
ngr
oughnow."

359
Me:
"by
e"

Ibl
ewakissandIwal
kedoutandMongezi
wasl
eani
ngont
hepassengersi
de.Heopenedt
he
doorf
orme.

Mongezi
:"t
hisdr
inki
nghabbi
tofy
our
sisget
ti
ngoutofhand"

Me:
asy
ouhav
esai
d.MYdr
inki
nghabbi
t."

Igoti
nandhecl
osedt
hedooranwentt
ohi
ssi
deandgoti
nandst
art
edt
hecar

Mongezi
:"Iwi
l
lhav
etodosomet
hingaboutt
hat"

Il
ookedathi
m.

Me:
"Iam noty
ourgi
rl
fr
iendsol
eav
emeal
one."

Mongezi
:"Ican'
tl
etmyf
utur
ewi
fedr
inki
ngl
i
ket
hatwi
thoutmet
her
e"

Hesmi
rked.

Me:
"Ri
ght,
Iam sur
eyourwi
fewoul
dagr
eet
othat
"

Mongezi
:"y
ety
ouar
est
ubbor
nbutIl
i
keachal
l
enge"

Me:
"Iwi
l
lnev
erbet
ieddownt
omar
ri
ageespeci
all
ybyy
ou"

Mongezi
:"(
smi
l
ing)t
henIguessIhav
etoknocky
ouupf
ir
st"

Me:
"hebana"

Hechuckl
ed.

Commentandshar
e.♥

I
nser
t55

Twoday
slat
er

360
.

Me:
"Iam ner
vous"

Hehol
dsmyhand.

Nkonzo:
"Igoty
ou,
ok?"

Ismi
l
edandki
ssedhi
scheekandl
aidmyheadonhi
schestandhewr
appedhi
sar
msar
ound
me.

Me:
"thanksSnuggl
e"

Hef
rownsandIl
augh

Nkonzo:
"Igi
veupony
ou"

Me:
"sosoon"

Il
ookupathi
m andl
augh

Me:
"okIwon'
tcal
lyousnuggl
esi
nthenexthour"

Nkonzo:
"orev
er"

Wel
augh.

"Landi
swaDl
ami
ni"

Ist
oodup.

Nkonzo:
"Iwi
l
lcomei
nlat
er"

Inoddedandwal
kedf
oll
owi
ngt
hel
adyandgoti
ntot
heDr
sof
fi
ceandshesmi
l
ed.

Dr:
"hav
easeat"

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Thedoorcl
osed.

Dr:
"Iam DrAdams."

Me:
"Landi
swaDl
ami
ni"

Dr:"sowear
eher
efory
ourbreastcanceranal
ysi
sandcheckhowf
ari
thasspr
ead.Pl
easego
changeandl
i
edownonthebed."

361
Iwentt
ochangeint
oahospi
tal
gownandwenttol
iedownwher
eshesai
dIshoul
d.Shewor
e
gl
ovesandst
art
edtouchi
ngmybreast
s.I
twassor
e.

Me:
"ouch."

Dr:
"itshoul
dbeal
i
ttl
epr
icknothur
tful
"

Me:
"Idon'
tknow"

Dr:
"ormay
bei
t'
sbecausey
ouar
eexpect
ing.Congr
atul
ati
onsbyt
heway"

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Shekeptont
ouchi
ngmybr
east
s

Dr:
"whatmadey
oucomeandcheckf
orbr
eastcancer?
"

Me:
"my.
.myboy
fri
endwas.
.t
ouchi
ngmybr
eastandt
hensai
dweshoul
dcome"

Dr:
"(l
aughi
ng)y
ouev
enshysay
ingi
t'

Il
ookedaway.NkonzoandIhav
enev
erputat
it
let
owhatwehav
e.I
twasr
eal
l
ywei
rdcal
l
ing
hi
m myboyfr
iend.

Me:
"cany
oui
nfor
m meabi
tonbr
eastcancerIam cl
uel
ess"

Dr:"breastcanceris alumpiny ourbreastorunderarmthatdoesn'

tgoawayaf t
ery ourper
iod.
Thisi
sof t
enthefirstsymptom ofbreastcancer.Lumpsassociatedwi
thbreastcancerare
usual
lypainl
ess,al
t houghsomemaycauseapr ickl
ysensat
ion.Lumpsar
eusual l
yvisibl
eona
mammogr am l
ongbef oreyoucanseeorf eelthem."

Me:
"Iguesst
hat
'showhef
eltsomet
hing"

Dr:"y
es.Youhav et
ogoundermammogr am t
oseei ft
hecancerisinbot
hbreastornotthen
fr
om thenonwecanconsultf
urt
her.Ifi
thasn'
tspreadmucht henyoucanundergosurgeryand
i
fithasthem Chemother
apytosubsi
deandkillt
hecell
sthatareacti
ve"

Me:
"okt
hanky
ou"

Dr:
"Isuggesty
ougety
ourownspeci
ali
st"

Me:
"Iwi
l
l"

Withwhatt hough.Thisisal
lfr
ustr
ati
ng.Shewentout.Iwasdeepinthought.Thi
sis
fr
ustrat
ing.Idon'thaveamedical
aidevenmoneytodoalloft
his.Nkonzowalksinandhi
s
scenthitmynost ri
ls.I
t'
sver
yweir
dhowIl ov
ehisscent
.Manly,wit
hat ouchofni
coti
ne.I
t'
sjust
amazing.

362
Nkonzo:
"youdon'
tl
ookok"

Me:
"Iam gonnabef
ine."

Heper
kedmyl
i
ps.

Dr:
"l
et'
sseet
hebundl
eshal
lwe?"

Wenodded.
sheappl
i
edcol
dgel
onmyst
omach.Godt
hatt
hingi
scol
d.Shemov
edi
tar
ound
onmystomach.

Dr:
"wel
li
tlooksl
i
key
ouar
ebet
ween12-
16weeks"

Me:
"thati
s?"

Dr:
"bet
ween3-
4mont
hs"

Me:
"ok"

Ther
ewassi
l
enceandal
oudsound.

Dr:
"ohandi
tlooksl
i
kewear
eexpect
ingmor
ecr
eat
ures"

Me:
"mor
e?"

Dr:
"yes.Isee3"

Ial
mostf
aint
ed.Myhear
tski
pped.

Me:
"3asi
nli
ket
ri
plet
s.?
"

Dr:
"yesmam"

Il
ookedatNkonzo.

Me:
"Iwon'
tbeabl
etohandl
e3ki
ds"

Nkonzo:
"youwon'
t."

INodded.TheDrwi
pedof
fthegel
andIchangedandwesoonl
eft
.

Nkonzo:
"ar
ewest
il
lgonnabuymor
ewi
ne?
"

Me:
"uhm no.Mongezi
sai
dhei
sput
ti
ngAmandaonanonal
cohol
jour
ney"

Nkonzo:
"theyar
edat
ing?"

Me:
"Amandasay
stheyar
enot"

Nkonzo:
"thi
sdi
nnert
hingi
sgonnabeawkwar
d"

363
Me:
"weshoul
dwor
kar
oundt
hat."

Hekeptqui
et.

Me:
"Iam sor
ryabouty
ourr
elat
ionshi
pwi
thMuzi
"

Nkonzo:
"it
'sok"

Het
ookmyhandandki
ssedi
t.

Me:
"hopef
ull
ytoni
ghti
twi
l
lbeok"

Nkonzo:
"Idoubt"

*
XOLI
LE*

Ijustpai
dfort
hecabandIlookedatt
histal
lbui
ldi
ngbef
orewal
ki
ngi
n.Imademywayt
othe
recepti
onandshesmi
ledatmeandIr et
urnedit
.

Her:
"hi
howmayIhel
pyou?"

Me:
"icameher
eforMuzi
kay
iseQwabe"

Her:
"theCEO?"

Thesmi
l
efaded.

Me:
"uhm y
es"

Shet
ookaphoneandmadeacal
l
.

Her:
"Nomondet
her
eisal
adyher
ebyt
hename(
shel
ookedatme)
"

Me:
"Xol
i
leNgema"
.

Her:
"Xol
i
leNgema"

Shekeepsqui
etabi
tandhangsup.

364
Her:
"youcangot
hrough.7t
hfl
oorst
rai
ghty
ouwi
l
lseeal
adywai
ti
ngf
ory
ou"

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Iwal
kedtowar
dstheel
evatorandgoti
nandpr
essed7andi
twentupandpi
ngedandIgotout
andwal
kedtowar
dsthelady.

Her:
"ri
ghtt
hisway"

Wewal
kedmor
ethr
ought
hisbeaut
if
ulpassageandsheknockedbef
oreopeni
ngt
hedoor
.He
smi
l
ed.

Muzi
:"t
hanky
ouMonde"

Nomonde:
"yessi
r"

Il
ookedatherandshecl
osedt
hedoor
.

Muzi
:"ar
en'
tyougonnagi
vemeaki
ss?"

Me:
"youwer
emadatme"

Hesi
ghed.

Muzi
:"Iwasn'
t.Ij
ustneededspace"

Me:
"ok"

Hest
oodupandcamecl
oset
ome.

Muzi
:"honeybun.
"

Me:
"mmh"

Muzi
:"comeher
e"

Hepul
l
edmebymywai
standweshar
edaki
ss.Ibr
okei
tandl
ookeddown.

Muzi
:"st
il
lshy?
"

Ibl
ushed.

Muzi
:"y
ouar
ebeaut
if
ul"

Het
ouchedmycheek.

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Muzi
:"howwasschool
?"

365
Me:
"Good."

Muzi
:
",Iam gl
ady
ouar
eadj
ust
ing."

Me:
"it
'sni
cet
hough."

Iwentt
osi
tdown.Hecl
ear
edhi
sthr
oat
.

Muzi
:"wehav
ebeeni
nvi
tedf
ordi
nner"

Me:
"wher
e?"

Muzi
:"byLandi
swaandNkonzoandIaccept
ed"

Il
ookedathi
m.

Me:
"don'
tyouhat
eNkonzo?
"

Muzi
:"hat
eisabi
gwor
d"

Il
ookedathi
m.

Muzi
:",
l
et'
sgobabysot
heywon'
tseeanybadbl
ood"

Me:
"ok"

Hecamecl
oseandki
ssedmycheek.

Muzi
:"Il
ovey
ou"

Ismi
l
ed.

Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"

Idi
dn'
tl
iket
hisdi
nnert
hing.Real
l
y

Tobecont
inued

I
nser
t56

366
.

*
AMANDA*

Me:
"Iam i
ndesper
ateneedofsomet
hingst
rongaf
tert
hatcour
tcase."

Mongezi:
"toobadt
heonl
ythi
ngy
ouwi
l
ldr
inki
sjui
ce.I
fyouwantsomet
hingst
rongerIcanbuy
Mhl
onyanaforyou"

Helooksatmewi
thasmi
rk.ImustsayIl
ovebei
ngdr
ivenar
oundev
ent
houghmycari
sat
home.

Me:"mawungibhekakahl
emi
nangi
phuzai
mbi
za(t
akeagoodl
ookatme,
am Iagonnadr
ink
bi
tt
erpl
ant
s? )
"

Hel
aughs.

Mongezi
:"y
ousai
dyouwant
edsomet
hingst
rong"

Me:
"justdr
ive.Iam t
ir
ed."

Mongezi
:"comecl
ose"

Me:
"andwhat?
"

Isai
dwi
thaf
rown.

Mongezi
:"j
ustcomecl
osey
ouwi
l
lsee"

Il
ookedathi
m.Hechuckl
ed.

Mongezi
:"ok"

Hehol
dsmycheeksandgi
vesmeaki
ss.

Me:
"dot
hatagai
nandIwi
l
lhi
tyou"

Mongezi
:
"buty
oudi
dn'
twheny
oushoul
dhav
e."

Me:
"justshutupanddr
ivepl
ease.

Mongezi
:"y
oul
i
kedi
tIknow"

367
Me:
"coul
dyouj
ustbequi
et"

Hedr
oveof
f.

Mongezi
:"whenam Imaki
ngy
oupr
egnant"

Me:
"Iwi
l
lst
rangl
eyou"

Mongezi
:"y
ouwoul
dn'
t"

Ishothi
m al
ook.

Mongezi
:"sor
ry.
"

Hechuckl
ed.Iwasir
ri
tat
edbyhi
myetchar
medandhi
scl
eanbear
donhi
sfacemadehi
mlook
handsomethanheal
readyi
s.

*
LANDI
SWA*

Gogo:
"manj
eyout
hinky
onkel
ent
oisgonnagowel
l(y
out
hinkal
loft
hiswi
l
lgowel
l?)"

Iwasdoi
ngagreensal
ad.Ihav
ealr
eadycooked.It
oldMaZul
unott
ocookt
odaysoshewentt
o
herr
oom andnowIam wi
thgogo.

Me:
"Ihopeso.Youwi
l
ljoi
nus?
"

Gogo:
"doIl
ook20t
oyou?"

Il
aughed.

Me:
"okke."

Gogo:
"Iam goi
ngt
osi
twi
thMaZul
u"

Me:
"okgogo"

Gogo:
"ohandonemor
ethi
ng"

368
Il
ookedather
.

Gogo:
"st
ophi
dingt
hingsf
rom meLandi
swa"

Me:
"li
ke?"

Sher
aisedherbr
ow.Il
ookeddown.

Gogo:"Whenwer
eyouandNkonzogonnat
ell
mey
ouar
eexpect
ing.Imaybeol
dbutIsee
t
hings."

Ibr
eat
hedout.

Gogo:
"tal
kLandi
swa"

Me:
"Iam sor
rygogo"

Gogo:
"youar
esmar
tert
hant
hat
.Meetmei
nmyr
oom wi
thNkonzo"

Inoddedandshewal
kedoff.Ifi
nishedandputt
hesal
adi
nthef
ri
dgeandl
ookedatNkonzo
whowasl eani
ngbyt
hecounter
.

Nkonzo:
"Iseey
ouar
eready
."

Me:
"yeah."

Iwentcl
oset
ohi
m..

Me:
"youl
ookgr
umpysnuggl
es.Smi
l
e"

Hesmi
l
edandIl
aughedb

Me:
"notl
i
ket
hathawu"

Nkonzo:
"youwant
edmet
osmi
l
eso"

Ishookmyhead.

Me:
"gogowant
stoseeus."

Nkonzo:
"now.?
"

Inodded.Heper
kedmyf
orehead.

Nkonzo:
"asambe(l
et'
sgo)"

Hecarr
iedmeonhi
sbackasIgi
ggl
ed.Weknockedongogo'
sroom andshesai
dweshoul
d
ent
er.

Nkonzo:
"Sawubonagogo(
hel
l
ogogo)"

369
Gogo:
"si
tdown"

Nkonzoputmedownont
hebedandsatnextt
ome.

Gogo:
"umi
thi
sil
e(y
oui
mpr
egnat
ed)
"

Wel
ookeddownandhecl
ear
edhi
sthr
oat
.

Nkonzo:"eqi
nisweni
MaDlamini
Nat
hisi
sandakuthol
a.Besi
sazol
ungi
sai
phuthaengi
l
enzi
le
(t
ruthtobetoldMaDlami
ni,weaswel
lj
ustfoundoutaboutt
hatandIwasgoingt
ofixt
hat
i
ssue)",

Il
ookatNkonzo.

Gogo:
"youtwoaret
oget
herforareason.Notev
ery
onei
sHappyaboutt
hat
.Iam nothappyy
ou
di
dn'
ttel
lmeaboutt
hepr
egnancy."

Me:
"wear
esor
ry"

Gogo:
"wewi
l
ltal
klat
er.Youmaygo"

West
oodupandwal
kedout
.Wel
ookedateachot
her
.

Me:
"wel
lthatwasi
nter
est
ing"

Thedoorbel
lrang.

Me:
"i
t'
sjustbet
hem."

Nkonzo:
"let
'swel
comey
ourf
ri
ends."

If
rownedandhechuckl
ed.Heper
kedmyl
i
ps.

Nkonzo:
"Il
ovey
ou"

Ibl
ush.Hechuckl
es.

Me:
"I.
..
I"

Hepul
l
edmet
ohi
schest
.

Nkonzo:
"br
eat
he"

Idi
dandweopenedt
hedoor
.NomaandPal
esawal
kedi
nwi
thNdaba

Noma:
"weboughtwi
ne."

Pal
esa:
"heyguy
s."

Nkonzonodded.

370
Ndaba:
"Ndoda"

"
Youwoul
dn'
tfor
getaboutmef
ir
stl
ady"

Me:
"Nt
sikahey"

Wehugged.

"
Justf
indanewhobbyMongezi
!"

ThatwasAmanda.Theycamet
hroughandshehuggedme.

Me:
"yougood."

Amanda:
"Iam gonnaki
l
lyourbr
other
."

Mongezi
:"Ladi
es"

Us:
"HeyMongi
!!!
"

Amandagr
unt
ed.

Amanda:
"gi
vemet
hatwi
neNoma"

Mongezi
:"Amandadon'
tev
ent
ryme"
,

Hesnat
chedt
hewi
nebot
tl
efr
om Nomaandwal
kedof
ftot
heki
tchenwhi
l
eAmandaf
oll
owed.

Me:
"ok,
wher
eisNt
ando?
"

Pal
esa:
"hi
sgr
andmot
hert
ookhi
m"

Me:
"ok."

Thedoorbel
lrang.

Iwentt
oopen.

Me:
"heyIam gl
ady
oucame"

Muzi
:"t
hanksf
ort
hei
nvi
tecuz"

Isl
i
ght
lysmi
l
ed

Me:
"yeah.HeyXol
i"

Xol
i
le:
"It
'sXol
i
le"

Me:
"ri
ght
.Comei
n.Ther
estar
eher
e."

371
Imovedoutofthewayandt
heywal
kedi
n.Amandacamebackf
rom t
heki
tchenwi
thMongezi
l
ooki
ngall
llov
ey

Me:
"oouh"

Amanda:
"Andt
hen?
"

Nkonzo:
"Amandabehav
e"

Sher
oll
edherey
es.

Me:
"let
'spr
oceedt
othedi
ningr
oom pl
ease"

Theywal
kedt
her
e.

Me:
"thi
sisgonnabeat
oughni
ght
."

*
NKONZO*

Sofarit
'ssogood.Noonehassai
danynast
ythi
ngt
oany
oneandt
heconv
ersat
ionseemst
obe
fl
owing.

Noma:
"It
hinkoper
ati
onnonal
cohol
jour
neyf
orAmandai
swor
king"

Shesai
dli
ft
ingherwi
negl
assandwel
aughed.

Amanda:
"YazNomauy
akwazi
ukuphapha?
uwenal
owo(doy
ouknowf
orwar
dnews?Thati
s
you)
"

Landi
swa:
"it
'si
swor
king"

Amandasi
ppedont
hej
uiceandwel
aughed.Shewascl
ear
lyi
rr
it
atedbyt
his.

Landi
swa:
"letmegogetdeser
t"

Me:
"don'
twor
ryIwi
l
l"

Shenodded.

Muzi
:"Iwi
l
lcomewi
th"

372
Pal
esa:
"sweet"

Amanda:
"sokhul
umai
ndabal
ahkut
hul
ezot
hi(Iwi
l
ltal
kaboutpeopl
e'
snewsandt
her
ewoul
d
besi
l
ence)"

Pal
esa:
"youar
ebor
ingy
ouknow."

Westoodupandwentt
otheki
tchen.Iwentt
othef
ri
dgecauseal
readyLandi
swaset
ev
ery
thing.

Muzi
:
"howhav
ethi
ngsbeengoi
ngwi
thy
ouknow"

Il
ookedathi
m

Me:
"it
'sbeengoi
nggood.Iam l
eav
ingsoonf
ort
rai
ning"

Muzi
:"y
ouar
etaki
ngov
er"

Me:
"yeah"

Muzi
:"t
hatmustbet
ough"

Me:
"it
'st
hel
eav
ingt
hat
'st
ough"

Ther
ewassi
l
ence.

Me:
"lookIwannaapol
ogi
sef
ort
hewayt
hingst
urnedout
.Inev
ermentf
ort
hingst
obel
i
ket
hat
"

Hel
aughed.

Muzi
:"wowLandi
swai
swor
kinggr
eat,
youapol
ogi
sing"

Ichuckl
ed.

Muzi
:
"If
orgav
eyou.I
t'
sal
li
nthepastnow.Br
other
sfi
ghtandmakeup"

Il
etoutmyhand

Me:
"newbegi
nni
ngs?"

Muzi
:"newbegi
nni
ngs"

Hebr
ohuggedi
tout
.

Muzi
:"Iam gl
adt
hisdi
nnerhappened"

Me:
"met
oo"

"I
sthedeser
tcomi
ngorwhat?"

373
Wechuckl
ed.

Muzi
:"needhel
p?"

Me:
"nahIgott
hat"

Muzi
:"l
etmel
eav
e."

Hewal
kedoutandIf
ixedev
ery
thi
ngupandbr
eat
hedout.

Me:
"yougott
hisNkonzo"

Iwal
kedoutwi
tht
hedeser
t.

Amanda:
"SoXol
i
swa.
..
"

Xol
i
le:
"Xol
i
le."

Amanda:
"st
il
lthesame"

Xol
i
le:
"it
'snot"

Pal
esa:
"okguy
s"

Noma:
"Howol
dar
eyou?"

Xol
i
le:
"24y
ear
s."

Landi
swa:
"wear
ethesameage.I
naf
ewweeksIwi
l
lbe24"

Xol
i
le:
"wowt
hat
'sni
ce."

Pal
esa:
"wewi
l
lgoonawi
l
dday
.Youshoul
dcome"

Landi
swa:
"yeah"

Xol
i
le:
"sur
e"

Igav
ethem t
hei
rdeser
t.

Landi
swa:
"Thanky
ou"

Amanda:
"thi
sist
hef
ir
stdaynotdr
inki
ngev
enasi
p.Thi
sist
ort
ure."

Wel
aughed.

Landi
swa:
"it
'smey
ouandXol
i
lewhodon'
tdr
inknow"

Mongezi
:"andmyseedcan'
tfi
ndaal
cohol
body"

374
Us:
"oouh"

Ndaba:
"youbot
haspar
ent
sisgonnabeat
oughone"

Amanda:
"Iam notget
ti
ngpr
egnantper
iod."

Mongezi
:"wewi
l
lsee"

Theyl
aughed.

Noma:
"thi
sdeser
tisni
ce."

Landi
swa:
"It
ry.I
t'
schocol
atemoose"

Pal
esa:
"it
'sr
eal
l
yni
ce"

Landi
swal
ookedatme.

Landi
swa:
"younoteat
ing?
"

Me:
"lat
er"

ShenoddedandIl
ookedatMuzi
andhewassmi
l
ing.
heki
ssedXol
i
le'
scheek.

Landi
swa:
"ouchmyt
oot
h"

Shecr
iedout

Amanda:
"youar
eget
ti
ngol
d"

Landi
swa:
"haha"

Theyl
aughed.

Nt
sika:
"youar
efr
eshy
oungl
ady"

Landi
swa:
"thanky
ou"

Shesnoopedont
hespoon.Iswal
l
owed.

Landi
swa:
"ohmyGod"

Thegi
rl
sscr
eamed.Whi
chwassol
oud.

Landi
swa:
"(l
ooki
ngatme)Nkonzo"

Tear
swel
dedi
nherey
esandIt
ookherhandandt
ookt
her
ing.

Amanda:
"Icanal
readyseemymat
ronofhonourdr
ess"

375
Muzi
&Nt
sika:
"andmybestmansui
t"

Ichuckl
ed.

Noma:
"sayy
es"

Me:
"Ihav
en'
tsai
dany
thi
ng"

Noma:
"sor
ry"

Il
ookatherandshei
scr
ying.Iputmyhandonhercheekandwi
pehert
ear
s.

Pal
esa:
"thi
sissosweet"

Me:
"Landi
swal
ookatme."

Sheshookherhead.

Me:
"pl
easel
ookatme."

Shel
ookedatme.

Landi
swa:
"Snuggl
es"

Weal
lbur
stedi
nlaught
er.

Me:
"youknowIhat
ethatname"

shepout
ed.

Me:
"butt
hat
'snotwhatIwantt
osay
."

Shenoddedwhi
l
ecr
ying

Me:"therealreasonIam givingy outhi

sringcauseIwanttot akewhatwehavetothenextlev
el.
Alevelofeverlast
inglif
eoflov ebindedbyGodswi l
li
nfrontofthepast
orandfri
endswith
famil
y.Iloveyou, it
'ssomethinginmet hatburnsathousandt i
mesmor eevenwhenIlookat
you.Ihavehadar oughtimeinl i
feandsoasy oubutIwantust ogr
owoldtoget
her.Real
lyIam
notgoodwithwor ds.EvenMuzi i
swaybet tert
hanmeev enincomfort
ing."

Muzi
:"Iam bet
tert
hany
oui
nev
ery
thi
ngbr
o"

Wel
aughedcome

Me:"(chuckl
e)yeahInSomet hi
ngsli
keaf
fect
ionat
eparts.Iwantt
ospendt her
estofmyli
fe
wit
hy ou.Gothr
ougheveryt
hingwit
hyoueveni
fit'
sbad.Justknowthathav
ingyouitwi
l
lbeok.
Canyoudomeaf avourandMarryme?"

Shel
aughedt
hencr
ied.Ther
ewassi
l
ence

376
Amanda:
"Iam si
ze34byt
heway"

Noma:
"sayy
essayy
es!
!"

Il
ookedatherast
her
ewassi
l
ence

I
NSERTFI
FTY-
SEVEN

*
LANDI
SWA*

Nowal leyeswer eonme.Theywer eallwai t

ingformyr esponse.Ididn'tknowwhatt osayor
whatt odo.Ifeltl
ikethiswasadr eam orsomet hing.Thi swasj ustadaydr eam andIwouldbe
shakenoutofi tbyAmandaort hisisadr eam thatIam wokenupbygogoandt ell
smet ogot o
work.Thet earsaswel l
didn'
tdoanyjust iceformeast heysmear edmycheeksanddr enched
them Ilookedathi m andhewassmi l
ingatmewhi l
ehol di
ngt heringandstil
lkneeli
ng.Forsure
i
t'ssorenowcauseIhav ebeenquietforsomet ime.IlookatMuzi whoissmi l
i
ngsogenui nel
y
andmyj ourneywasn' teasybutIam her eandst il
l t
hereisal ongwayt ogo.Ist oodupf r
om my
chairandgott owardsNkonzoandhest oodupandIhuggedhi m andhehel dmewhi l
eIcri
ed.
Thosear msthatcomf ort
edmef ornoappar entreasont hefirstti
meImethi m.Thear msthat
drewmet ohim andnowIam her ewithhi m.Hedoesn' tneedt osaywor dsorany t
hingbuthis
acti
onsandpr esencemakei tknownhei sher eandt hatiscomf orti
ngenough.

Pal
esa:
"ncoooh"

Inoddedmyhead.

Nkonzo:
"cany
oul
ookatme.?
"

Iwi
pedmyt
ear
swi
thhi
shel
p.

Me:
"yes.
..
.y
esIwi
l
lmar
ryy
ouNkonzo"

377
Amandawasthefi
rstonetoulul
ate.Thegir
lsscr
eamedandIcl
osedmyear
slaughi
ng.Het
ook
myhandandsli
ppedintheri
ng.Thenkissedmylipsandbr
okei
t.

Nkonzo:
"Il
ovey
ou"

Ismi
l
e.Iam nowcer
tai
naboutev
ery
thi
ng.

Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"

Noma:
"isencanel
engane"

Nt
sika:
"ubani
obengashademncane,
Kangakaubani
obengashadeemncane"

Amanda:
"wher
eist
hewi
ne!
!(Si
ngi
ng)I
sencanel
enganeboh"

Noma&Pal
esa:
"Ani
bongi
l
ekekel
a

Theymadet
hei
rwayoutt
othedri
vewaywhi
lepul
l
ingus.Pal
esawasul
ulat
ingl
i
kenoot
her
.
Amandawasspi
ll
i
ngal
coholont
hedri
veway.

Nkonzo:
"thi
siscr
azy"

Me:
"itI
s"

Nt
sika:
"(hol
dinghi
swhi
skyupwhi
l
edanci
ng)Babamnumzane(hi
ghpi
tchedhoar
sev
oice)
"

Il
aughed.

Guy
s:"uy
eyeSi
vul
elesi
ngene!
!"

Nt
sika&Gi
rl
s:"babamnumzane!
!"

Guy
s:"uy
eyeSi
vul
elesi
ngene!
!!
"

Amanda:
"ay
i"

Ev
ery
one:
"sangenasangena,
iyohsangenaphakat
hi(
x2)
"

Nt
sika:
"BabaMnumzane,
yhi
i
iyhi
iay
imadoda.!
!"

Il
aughed.Theywer
eevendoingt
husophal
asandVoshoher
eandt
her
e.Amandaopenedt
he
dr
ivewaygate.Wher
edidshegetther
emote?

Me:
"yourbr
otheri
scr
azy"

Nkonzo:
"hei
sal
way
sli
ket
his.Youwoul
dgetusedt
ohi
m."

Hel
ookedintomyeyesasitwasdar
kbutIcansti
ll
seehi
s.Hisli
pslandedonmine.Weshar
ed
aki
ss.Soslowandt
enderl
y,i
twasslowmotion.Well
inmyheaditwasasIdevour
edhi
sli
ps

378
andhehel
dmywaist.Wehadjustst
oppedjustt
otasteeachot
herwhil
etheot
her
scar
ri
edon.I
putmyhandsonhi
schestandheplacedhi
sotherhandonmyst omach.

Me:
"Il
ovey
ou"

Hesmi
l
edandpul
l
edmecl
oser
.

Nkonzo:
"Il
ovey
oual
l"

Ismi
l
edandt
ouchedmyst
omach.West
art
edwal
ki
ngj
ustt
ocat
chupwi
tht
hesecr
azi
es.

Muzi
:"Iwoul
dli
ket
omakeapr
eengagementpar
tyspeech.Iwi
l
lsayal
otofspeeches."

Wel
aughed.

Muzi
:
"Iam happyf
ory
ouman.Bot
hofy
ou.Youcompl
i
menteachot
herv
erywel
l"

Wel
ookedateachot
herandwesmi
l
ed.

Amanda:
"YounotsoKi
l
labl
eaf
teral
l"

Wel
aughed.

Nt
sika:
",
minaIwantt
osaywel
comet
othest
epcl
osert
obei
ngMamuMkhi
zef
ir
stl
ady"

Hehel
dhi
sdr
inkupwhi
chwasj
ustal
i
ttl
enow.

Pal
esa:
"honest
lyIam j
usthappyl
i
keIam t
heonewhowaspr
oposedt
o"

Wel
aughed.

Amanda:
"Thul
ani
kukhul
umei
bozzaYamabozzamanj
e(keepqui
etsot
hebossofal
lbosses
cant
alk)
"

Wel
aughed.

Amanda:
"Iam gl
adIwasn'
tsl
oshedt
oseet
hismoment
"

Wel
aughed.

Amanda:"wecomef r
om wayback.Honestl
ythoughtyouweregonnamarrymybrot
her,
butay
i
nowIseeIwouldn'
twantt
hat.Nkonzogotsomethinggoi
ngonhere.Youmaylookbi
gNkonzo
buthur
tmyfri
endandIwil
lfeedyoutoPitbul
ls.Shehasbeenthr
oughalot
"

Wel
aughShecr
ied.

Amanda:
"Ican'
tbel
i
evemybestf
ri
endi
sgonnagetmar
ri
ed"

Iwi
pedmi
neandwehuggedeachot
her
.

379
Noma:
"ncooh"

Mongezi
:"gi
rl
s"

Us:
"shutup"

Wel
aughed.

Mongezi
:"Ij
ustwannasayIam happyt
obey
ourol
derbr
other"

Wehugged.

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Mongezi
:"Igoty
oualways.AndNkonzomywi
fehassai
dital
l.Br
eakherhear
tandwewi
l
l
f
eedyoutomunchies."

Me:
"hay
i"

Amanda:
"let
'sgocel
ebr
ate"

Pal
esa:
"oouhl
et'
sgodopai
ntbal
ltomor
row"

Amanda:
"andwenawi
tht
hest
it
ch?"

Pal
esa:
"Iwi
l
lpl
ayhawu"

Muzi
:"t
hat
'sf
un.Iwi
l
lcl
earmyschedual
then"

Nkonzo:
"Landi
swaandIwon'
tpl
ay"

Me:
"it
'sj
ustpai
ntbal
l"

Nkonzo:
"nope"

Isul
ked.Iwi
l
lwor
konchangi
ngt
hatnoi
ntoay
esl
ater
.

*
ZANELE*

380
Iwascryi
ngmyeyesoutwhi
l
etheytookmymot herl
ikeshei
samadwomanast
hesemenhel
d
herdown.Qhawepul
l
edmetohischestandIcr
iedthere.

Dad:
"it
'sf
ort
hebestNokzol
a"

Nokzol
a:"Don'
tpi
ssmeof
fThami
thebestf
orwho?
!"

Shewasshoutingatdad.Hei
stheonewhocal
l
edt
hement
alheal
thi
nst
it
uti
onbecauseofmy
motherst
ate.

Dad:
"Shekeepsonshout
ingIki
l
ledhi
m andweal
lknowwhoshemeans."

Nokzol
a:"t
hatdoesn'
tmeanshedi
d"

Dad:
"thepol
i
cewon'
tseei
tli
ket
hat
.It
'sbesti
fshei
slockedupt
her
e"

Nokzol
a:"Nx"

Shewal
kedt
otheki
tchenanddadt
urnedt
ous.

Dad:
"Iam sor
ryangel
"

Me:
"wi
l
lshebebet
ter?"

Dad:
"shewi
l
lbe"

Inodded.Thi
sishear
tbr
eaki
ng.

Qhawe:
"Iam her
efory
ouhoney"

Inoddedandl
aidonhi
schestwhi
l
ecr
ying.

*
PALESA*

YuuuhIwassot iredandweal mostsleptther

ebutIneedmyownspacenow.Landi swai ssuch
anicepersonandIam sohappywear ehear i
ngweddingbell
ssoon.IputmybagdownandI
wenttomybedr oom.Mi ssNtandoevent houghhecri
esalotbuti
t'
squiethere.Iwenttotakea
showerandjustletthearm watermassagemyski n.Igotoutaft
ersomet i
meanIwr apped
myselfi
nat owelandIwal kedouttomybedr oom andIfoundhi
m sit
ti
ngonmybedwhi l
eonhis

381
phone.Hei
sli
keat
eenageratt
imeswi
tht
hat
.

Me:
"whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?"

hel
ooksatmeandsi
tsup.

Ndaba:
"sondel
a,(comecl
ose)
"

Heput
shi
sphonedown.

Me:
"letmegetdr
essedf
ir
st"

Iwasaboutt
ogotot
heclosetwhenhepull
edmebymywai standIhi
tagainsthi
sfi
rm chest
wit
hmyback.Hecar
essesmyshoulderwhi
leIhel
dont
othetowelti
ght
ly.

Ndaba:
"Lav
ender"

Iswal
l
owed.IknowIwasget
ti
ngweak

Me:
"Ndabazamadodapl
easel
etmechange"

Hechuckl
ed.

Ndaba:
"saymynameagai
npl
ease"

Heki
ssedmyshoul
derandIwasweakt
omyknees.Mybr
eat
hchanged.

Me:
"mmmh"

Ndaba:
"canIseewhat
'sunder
?"

Me:
"(sof
tl
y)Iam naked.

Hi
m coul
dfeel
him smi
l
e.

Heturnedmear oundanhekissedmeandIr et
urnedit.Ourtonguesi
ntert
winedwithone
anot
her.Tinglesall
overmybodyreachi
ngmyt oes,Ifel
tli
ghterashepickedmeupandt hr
ew
meont hebedandIl ookedathi
m ashetookoffhistopandwentoni nfull
ykissi
ngmeagain
[
contentfoundinthegroup]

.
Inser
t57

*
PALESA*

382
.

Het hrewmeont hebedandt ookof fhistopandhef ull

ykissedmeandIr etur
nedi t
.Hesl owly
remov edmyt owelandi twasunderme.Myhands.Idi dn'
tknowwher et
omov ethem.Idon' t
evenknowi fIshouldtouchhi sfaceorgot ohischestorholdhi sarms.Hishandgoest omy
Nookieandt ouchesther eandtheyarecol dandIgasp.Hist humbcircul
atesthereandpl easure
kicksinandasof tgaspescapesmyl ips.Hebr eakst
hekissandki ssesmyneckwhi lesucking
thereandmyhandsgot ohisshoulders.Hest opsandsuckshi sthumbbef oreholdi
ngmyl egs
andpul l
ingmet olayonmybackandhel ooksatme.Hesucksonmybr eastsandhi stongue
circl
esar oundmyni pple.Imoanwhenhesl i
ghtsucksharder

Me:
"ahh"

Butt
hatdoesn'
tst
ophi
m.Forsur
emybaby
'smi
l
kiscomi
ngout
.

Me:
"Ndaba"

Hel
ooksatme.

Me:
"st
opdr
inki
ngmybaby
'smi
l
k"

Ndaba:
"buti
ttast
esgood"

Hesay
swi
pingt
hemil
kfr
om hischi
nandIgi
ggl
ed.Hehol
dsmyl
egsandspr
eadt
hem and
bl
owonmyNooki
eandIgasp.

Ndaba:
"mmm "

Hi
stonguesoonpr
essesonmycl itandheli
cksal
lthewaytomy"t
hegatesofparadise"t
hat'
s
whatAmandahastol
dmebefore.Hest ar
tst
otonguefuckmeandal
readyIam attheedge.I
moanwhil
epushi
nghisheadf
urtherin.

Me:
"goshNdaba!
"

Hewashol dingmedownfir
ml ycauseheknowsthatImov eandsqui
rm al
ot.Icum t
woti
mes
andhelicksmyNookieandcamet omyst omachandkissedther
e.Hesmi l
edandforsome
reasonIret
urnedi
t.Hethentookoffhiscl
othesandgotontopofme.

Ndaba:
"Igott
her
esul
ts"

Hepul
l
edmyl
egandputi
tonhi
sshoul
der
.

383
Me:
"and?
"

Icl
osedmyey
eswhi
l
eher
ubbedhi
sti
ponme.Ibi
tmybot
tom l
i
p.

Ndaba:
"wear
ecl
ean."

Inoddedbutmymi
ndwasn'
tther
e.I
twasconcent
rat
edont
hepl
easur
e.

Ndaba:
"lookatmePal
esa"

Ist
il
lhadmyey
escl
osed.

Ndaba:
"Pal
esangi
thengi
buke(Pal
esaIsai
dlookatme)
"

Idi
dlookathi
m.Hel
i
ckedhi
sli
ps.Ij
ustwanthi
minal
ready
.

Me:
"Ndabangi
yakucel
a(Ndabapl
ease)

Ndaba:
"ucel
ani
?(pl
easewhat?
)"

Me:
"makel
ovet
ome,
fuckmepl
easeent
erme"

Ibi
tmybot
tom l
i
p.

Ndaba:
"any
oneent
ered?
"

Ishookmyhead.

Ndaba:
"letmeseef
ormy
sel
f"

HeenteredmeandwentindeepandIbi
tonhi
sshouldersubsi
dingmydesi
ret
ojustscr
eam.I
can'
tgetoverhi
m any
time.Hest
art
stomoveslowl
yandl ooksatme.

Ndaba:
"fuckPal
esa"

Me:
"yes"

Ndaba:
"youar
emi
neal
one"

Inoddedwi
tht
ear
s.

Me:
"ohmyGod"hei
ncr
easedhi
space

384
.Tobecont
inued

I
nser
t58

*
LANDI
SWA*

Afterever
yonehaslef
twecl
eanedupandthenwewenttotel
lgotandsurpr
isi
ngl
yshewas
happybedendedupprayi
ngbefor
ewewentupthestai
rs.Wegotinthebedr
oom andIt
hrew
myselfonthebedandhehover
edoverme.Il
ookedathi
m.

Nkonzo:
"youseem t
ir
ed"

Me:
"Iam "

Hel
aysnextt
ome.

Itur
nedtohi
m andlookedatmyr
ing.I
twasreal
lybeaut
if
ulandIcoul
dn'
tbel
i
evet
hatIam
gett
ingmarr
ied.Hehel
dmyhandandIlookedathi
m andkissedhi
sli
ps.

Me:
"t
hanky
ouf
orseei
ngmewor
thyt
ocar
ryy
ourseedsandbey
ourbet
terhal
f."

Heki
ssedmyhands.

Nkonzo:
"Iseenoonewor
thoft
hatbuty
ou"

Ismileandgotof
fthebedandwentt olockthedoorandIopenedsomemusi cont
hespeaker
.I
star
teddanci
ngthoughIcan'
t.Igotcl
osertoNkonzowhil
esinginganddanci
ngby.

Me:
"umbi
zemay
fohl
o

Umbi
zut
hul
ulu,
umt
handebabawam

Eb'
hl
eni
nasebubi
ni"

Hechuckl
edandpul
l
edmet
ohi
slapandIgi
ggl
ed.

Nkonzo:
"youar
esoy
oungf
ort
hist
ypeofmusi
c"

Me:
"yetIgr
ewupar
oundgogo"

385
Heputmeont
hebedandwentt
ochanget
hemusi
c

"
Iwannat
easey
ou

Iwannacl
i
ngy
ou

Iwannashowy
oubaby,
thatIneedy
ou

Andwhocanl
ovey
oul
i
keme(
Nobody)

Andwhocansexy
oul
i
keme(nobody)

Whodoy
oul
i
kememybaby(Nobody)

Nobodybaby

Whocant
reaty
oul
i
keme.(
Nobody
)

Andwhocangi
vey
ouwhaty
ou(
nobody)

Whocandoy
oual
lni
ghtl
ong(
nobody
)

Nobodybaby
."

Ibi
tmybottom l
i
pashet
ookof
fhi
st-
shi
rtandcamecl
osert
omeandki
ssedmyl
i
psandI
ret
urnedi
t.

Nkonzo:
"let
'st
estt
hebed."

Me:
(smi
l
ing)f
orhowmanyt
imes?
"

Nkonzo:
"ti
l
lit
'suncomf
ort
abl
ethenwebuyanewoneandt
estt
hatone."

Me:
"onl
yifwewi
l
lpai
ntbal
ltomor
row"

Nkonzo:
"sur
e",

Thateasy.Hay
icrav
ingsshal
ldowonders.Iki
ssedhi
m whil
eputti
ngmyhandsonhi sneckas
NobodybyKeithsweati
splayi
nginthebackgr
ound.Hetookoffmytopandhisf
ingers.His
touchl
eftmeinwondersli
keit
'shi
sfir
stti
mehandli
ngme.[ Cont
entfoundi
nthegroup]Inser
t
58

*LANDI
SWA*

386
Hi
ssoftki
ssesr
eachedmyneckasIinhal
edhi
smanlyscentt
hati
smuskedonmeatthe
moment.Heistaki
nghi
sti
meliket
heclockj
ustst
oppedandwehaveal
lthet
imei
nthewor
ld.

"Iwantt
heni
ght

Formeandy
ou

Socomeher
ebaby

Andl
etmedoi
ttoy
ou.

Don'
tbeaf
rai
d,causeIwon'
tbi
te.

Ipr
omi
set
ogi
vei
ttoy
ouj
ustt
hewayy
oul
i
ke.

Andwhocanl
ovey
oul
i
keme.(
nobody)

Whocansexy
oul
i
keme(
nobody)

Whocant
reaty
oul
i
kememybaby(
nobody)

Nobodybaby"

Thesongkeptonpl ayi
ngandi t
'snotdoi nganyj usti
cet otheheatt hatisaboutt obur nme.He
takesoffmyt opanduncl i
psmybarandr emov esitbef orehesof t
lykissesbet weenmyt wins
andhegoest omybel l
yshiver
sgodownmyspi neandhet akesof fmyJeanandhel ooksatme.
Healway swantst obeincontrol.Isitupandpushhi m whi l
eget t
ingof fthebedandsi thim on
thecouch.IgoonmykneesandIr emov ehispant sandboxer swhi l
est ari
ngathi m andhe
seemsamusedbyt hi
s.Hisdickspr ingsoutpoppi ngv ainsandcov er
edi npr ecum andIputmy
handsoni tandhisbreathi
nghaschanged.Myl ipsf i
titandmyt oungeswi l
sl i
keIam l icki
nga
vanil
l
af lavouredicecream sundaef rom aspoon.Hi sheadr ollsbackandhecur ses.The
warmt hnessofmyt ongueonhi scocki smaki nghi m swearl i
kehewentt ol earni naschool of
swearing.Hi shandgoest omyhai randher unshi sfi
nger sbeforehehasaf istfull.

Nkonzo:
"fuckLandi
swa"

Iupmypacest
il
ll
ooki
ngathi
m anddeept
hroat
inghi
mforenj
oyment
.

Nkonzo:
"fuckLandi
swaIam gonnacum "

Imov edawayfrom him whi

letaki
ngtherestofmyclothesof
f.Iwaswetandcoul dn'
twai tf
or
himtobeinsidehim.Hej er
kedoffandcamer ol
li
nghisheadback.Iremovedther estofhis
clot
hesandgotonhi m.Hel ookedatmeandhel dmyfaceandkissedme.ir
eturnedi tandbroke
thekisswhi
ledirect
inghiscocktomyhoneyj ar
.

Nkonzo:
"Il
ovey
ou"

Isl
i
ppedi
tinandst
art
edmov
ing

387
Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"

.
.

*
PALESA*

Thesunisbli
ndingmyey esalready.Iopenthem sl
owlywhil
erunni
ngmyey esandIf
eell
i
ghter
andrefr
eshedyetIhaven'tf
reshenedupasy et.Mybedroom dooropensandNdabawalksin
hol
dingatrayf
ullofascrumpt i
ousbr eakf
ast.Hepl
aceditonthedresserandpull
edmetohim
whil
ekissi
ngmyf orehead.

Ndaba:
"goodmor
ning"

Me:
"wowy
oumadebr
eakf
ast"

Hechuckl
ed.

Ndaba:
"ngi
ndoday
omZul
u,Ican'
tmakebr
eakf
ast(Iam aZul
uman)
"

Me:
"ri
ghtandIam aTswanagi
rlwhospeaksZul
u"

Hechuckl
ed.

Ndaba:
"ify
ouwantmet
olear
nhow t
omakebr
eakf
asty
oushoul
dteachme."

Hel
i
ckedhi
sli
psandf
edmeast
rawber
ryf
rom t
hef
rui
tsal
ad..

Me:
"ri
ght.
."

HechuckledasIgotofft
hebednakedandwenttothebathr
oom Ibr
ushedmyteet
hand
washedmyf acethenwentt
otakeaquickshower
.Igotoutandwentoutandhewasonhi
s
phone.Helookedatme.

388
Me:
"don'
tev
ent
hinkabouti
t."

Hesmirked.Iwentt
othewar
drobeandt
ookoutwhatIneededwhi
chwasashor
tandt
op.
NdabastoodupandcametowardsmeandchangedwhatIhadchosen.

Me:
"it
'shot"

Ndaba:
"wearadr
ess"

Me:
"Iam noty
ourwi
fe"

Ndaba:
",IknowbutIwantt
oaccessy
oueasyorwecanj
ustst
aynakedt
hewhol
eday"

Me:
",y
ouar
eher
ethewhol
eday?"

Ndaba:
"yeah.Justt
ospendt
imewi
thy
ouandwat
cht
hosesi
l
lygi
rlcr
yingmov
ies"

Me:
"chi
ckf
li
ck"
,

Ndaba:
"that"

Me:
"int
hatcase"

It
ookoutami
niski
rt"

Ist
art
edget
ti
ngdr
essedandwor
emyt
opt
oo.

Ndaba:
"damnIneedt
omakey
oupr
egnant
"

Me:
"ay
i"

Ibendtopackupt
hecl
osedIt
hrewont
hef
loorandIf
elthi
shandsonmywai
standhel
i
fted
mymi niski
rt
.

Me:
"Ndaba"

Hespankedme.

Me:
"ah"
,

If
eltmywal
l
sget
ti
ngwar
m cl
enchi
ngont
hismeatt
hati
sinpar
adi
se.Ther
estwashi
stor
y.

389
Tobecont
inued

I
nser
t59

Wehav ejustgottentowherewear egoi ngt

oplaypaint
ball
.Ikeptonremindi
ngNkonzot hathe
agreedt omepl ayingbutheishearingnonofthatandIam hearingnonofthataswellsowe
willsee.Wear ejustwaiti
ngforPalesaandNdabasi ncetheyhaven'
tarr
ivedanditsoundedli
ke
theyf or
gotthatwear edoingpaint
balltodayornot?Butanywaywear ejustheadingupandwe
seet hem comingt owardsus.

Amanda:
"beendadey
ishgal
youonf
ir
e"

Pal
esa:
"sor
rywear
elat
e.Tot
all
ysl
i
ppedmymi
nd."

Noma:
"wear
elat
e.Hhet
aket
hem gi
rl"

Wel
aughed.Xol
i
lei
sal
way
sQui
et.

Amanda:
"goandchangeanddon'
tpumpababyi
nyoupl
ease"

Pal
esa:
"Nt
andoi
syoung"

Xol
i
le:
"DoesMuzi
knowy
ousl
eepi
ngwi
thsomeone.?
"

Pal
esa:
"wher
edi
ditconcer
nhi
m ?"

Xol
i
le:
"youar
ehi
sbabymama"

Wel
ookedather

Amanda:
"doyouwantMuzit
osleepwit
hhert
hen,
phel
ayouseem t
odon'
tmi
ndi
fhehel
pshi
s
babymamaouti
fshei
ssexual
lyfr
ust
rat
ed"

Shekeptqui
et.

Amanda:
"exact
ly.Far
m Jul
i
etgocufy
ourmanbef
oreweci
tygi
rl
sshowy
ouf
lames."

Me:
"Amanda"

Xol
i
lewal
kedaway
.

390
Me:
"thatwasr
udeAmanda"

Noma:
"shei
sfor
war
d"

Pal
esa:
"wi
thst
inki
ngat
ti
tude"

Amanda:
"Thi
sai
n'
tKhany
isaKwazul
u-Nat
alt
hisi
sGaut
eng.Pr
etor
ia.Iwi
l
lshowherget
to"

Wel
aughed.

Me:
"youar
esoext
ra"

Pal
esa:
"sheshoul
djustshutup"

Me:
"youok"

Shef
ini
shedchangi
ngandwewentt
ojoi
ntheguy
s.Nt
sikast
oodi
nfr
ontofusandNkonzohel
d
mywaist
.

Ntsi
ka:"sosi
nceweareal
lher
ewear
egonnabedi
vi
dedi
ntot
wot
eams.Iwast
hinki
ngboy
s
andgir
lsbutl
et'
sgoi
ntopai
rs."

Amanda:
"expl
ainf
urt
her"

Noma:
"wear
ebecauseofournewl
yengagedcoupl
e"

Theycheer
ed.

Nt
sika:
"theyar
ether
edt
eam andt
her
estwewi
l
lbeouti
ntot
eams"

Pal
esa:
"team col
our
s?"

Ntsi
ka:"redandBl
uet
eam.Toseet
hecol
ourofy
ourt
eam mat
eswehav
eredandbl
ue
bandanas."

Hehandedt
her
edbandanast
ousandIwor
eitasaheadband.

Nt
sika:
"okMongezi
andAmanday
ouar
etoget
herandi
nther
edt
eam "

Hegav
ethem t
hebandanas.

Ntsi
ka:
"Xol
iandMuziinbl
uet
eam.Pal
esaandNdabai
nbl
uet
eam t
henmeont
hebl
uet
eam
andNomaonthered"

Ev
eryonegotwhatt
heyneeded.Wegoti
ntoourt
eams.

Nkonzo:
"st
aycl
oset
ome."

Me:
"Iam notachi
l
d.Icanpl
ay"

391
Nkonzo:
"buty
ouar
ecar
ryi
ngmyki
dsandy
ouar
emybaby"

Ir
oll
edmyey
esbl
ushi
ng.Hehat
esi
fIr
oll
myey
es.

Nkonzo:
"Iwi
l
lleti
tsl
i
det
hisonce."

Me:
"comel
ayi
ther
e"

Hel
aidaper
k.

Amanda:
"weknowy
'al
ll
oveeachot
her
."

Me:
"Mongi
shutherupwi
thaki
sspl
ease"

Amanda:
"youwoul
dn'
tdar
e"

Shesai
dlooki
ngatMongezi
whosmi
rkedandwel
aughed.

Nt
sika:
"wheny
ouheart
heshott
hent
hegamest
art
s."

West
oodi
nposi
ti
ons.Behi
ndbar
rel
s.Theshotwentof
fandt
heshoot
ingbegan.

Pal
esa:
"Iswearam It
heonl
yonewhosawAmandaandMongi
pumpi
ngababysomewher
e"

Amanda:
"(t
hrowi
ngherbot
tl
e)Iwi
l
lhi
tyouwena"

Wel
aughed.

Mongezi
:",
notbadPal
esa"

Amandasul
ked.B

Me:
"thi
swasf
un"

Noma:
"thoughNkonzomadesur
eyoudon'
thav
easi
ngl
e.Pai
ntony
ou"

Nkonzo:
"it
'scal
l
edpr
otect
ingy
ourwoman"

Muzi
:"Iagr
eeBack"

Theyf
istbumped.

392
Nt
sika:
"nowwecanpl
anaBachel
or'
spar
ty"

Noma:
"andabachel
oret
tepar
ty"

Me:
"don'
tfor
getbabyshower"

Ev
ery
onegasped.

Mongezi
:"ar
ether
eanysur
pri
sesy
ouwannat
ell
us?"

Amanda:
"(hi
tt
inghi
m )Mongezi
"

Heshr
ugged.

Nt
sika:
"cheer
stogoodt
hings.

Wemadeat
oastt
henwecar
ri
edoneat
ingandt
alki
ng.

Tobecont
inued

I
nser
t60

*XOLI
LE*

Thepai ntballt
ri
pwasn'
tfunatal
landIdon'twanttospendsometi
mewi ththosegir
lsever
again.Muzi isworki
ngf
rom hometodayandIdon'treal
l
yhaveanycl
assessowewi l
lbe
together.Ifel
thandswr
aparoundmywai standakissonmycheek.Ikeptquietandcar
ri
edon
withcooki ng.

Muzi
:"y
ouhav
ebeenawf
ull
yqui
etsi
ncey
est
erday"

Me:
"Iam f
ine"

Icl
osedt
hepotaf
terst
udy
ingandwentt
othesi
nkt
owasht
hedi
shes.

393
Muzi
:"y
oudon'
tseem f
ine."

Me:
"Pal
esai
ssl
eepi
ngwi
thNdaba,
Ihear
dthem "

Muzi
:".Idon'
tseeapr
obl
em wi
tht
hat"

It
urnedt
ohi
m.

Me:
"youdon'
tcar
eifanyonei
ssl
eepi
ngwi
thy
ourbabymama"

Muzi
:"Babymamaasy
ouhav
esai
ditnotgi
rl
fr
iendorwi
fe.Whydoy
ouhav
eapr
obl
em wi
th
t
hat?"

Hef
oldedhi
sar
ms.

Me:
"whati
ftheyhav
esexi
nfr
ontofNt
andoexposi
nghi
mtot
hat
"

Muzi
:"Pal
esaknowsbet
terandsoasNdaba.Youseem t
ouched"

It
urnt
othedi
shes.

Muzi:
"whati
swr
ongr
eal
l
ycauseIcanSenseav
ibebet
weeny
ouandt
hegi
rl
s.Especi
all
y
Landi
swa"

Yohi
t'
sli
kemyangerbr
ewedf
rom t
hement
ionoft
hatname.

Me:
"what
'st
her
enott
oli
ke?
"

Muzi
:"Xol
i
leIam get
ti
ngt
ir
edofy
ourat
ti
tudeandIam noty
ourf
ri
end"

It
urnedt
ohi
m.

Me:
"thengot
oLandi
swat
heni
fyout
ir
edofme!"

Ishout
ed.

Muzi
:"whyar
eyoushout
ing?
"

Me:
"CausedeepdownIknowy
ouwantLandi
swamor
ethanme!
"

Muzi
:"Idi
dn'
tev
enf
uckensayt
hat
.Youknowwhatl
etmego"

Het
urned

Me:
"wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
"

Muzi
:"t
oLandi
swaorbet
tery
etagi
rl
fr
iendwhowon'
tthr
owt
hingsatmyf
ace"

Hewalkedof
fandIsankdowncr
ying.Ipushedhi
m al
lbecausei
fmyi nsecur
it
ies.Iknowhi
m
andLandi
swadat
edbeforet
heyf
oundoutt heyar
erel
atedbutIcan'
thelpthi
nkthatonedayshe

394
wil
lsnat
chMuziawayfr
om meandnowIpushedhim.Istoodupandwentt otakemyphone
andcall
him may
betoapol
ogi
sebuti
twentt
ov oi
cemail.WhathaveIdone.Icri
ed.

*
AMANDA*

Wor kisreal
lyti
ri
ngsometimeswhenyouhav etocr
ackacaset hatyoujustgetlosti
n.Imean
everylawyeroutther
ewanttoberecognizedandbethebestoutthereandthatwhywet ryour
verybesttodoso.I fyoupl
aydi
rt
yIbelieveIwil
lpl
aydir
tytooj
ustsoIcandowhat '
sri
ght
.A
knockcamef r
om mydoorbutIdi
dnotdar etomovemyey esfrom what'si
nfrontofmebutI
simplysettl
edfora...
..
.

Me:
"comei
n!"

Thedooropenedandt hatpersonenter
ed.From themuskymanl yscentIknewwhoitwas.I
knowthatscent
.Ili
ft
edmyheadupt omeethi seyesandhehasasmi rkonhisfaceandIfrown.
Heclosesthedoorandwal ksinfur
ther.Ist
oodupwhi l
etakingthegunfrom mydrawerbuthe
gott
omef astandheldmyhandswhi lepull
ingmet ohischest

Me:
'l
etgoofme."

Mandl
a:"Iam notanenemyAmanda"

Me:
"leav
emyhandsal
one"

Hecar
essesmycheek.

Mandl
a:"Imi
ssy
ou"

Me:
"wel
lIdon'
t"

Mandl
a:"l
eav
ingy
ouwasabi
gmi
stake"

Me:
"awuandy
out
houghtwheny
our
eal
i
zedt
haty
ouar
egonnawal
tzback"

Mandl
a:"y
ouar
eal
way
smi
ne"

Me:
"cor
rect
ionIam nobody
's"

395
Hesmi
l
ed

Mandl
a:"y
ourf
iest
ynesst
urnsmeon"

Me:
"fokof"

Isteppedonhi
sIt
ali
anshoeswi
thmysissygi
rlbl
ackst
il
ettosandhegr
oanedl
ett
inggoofmy
handsandItri
edr
eachi
ngformygunbutheheldmyweav eandIcri
edout
.

Me:
"wenasl
i
mauy
ayazi
Ibi
zaMal
i
nil
ent
o?(Youf
ool
doy
ouknowhowmucht
hiscost
s)"

Mandl
a:"y
ouhav
egot
tent
oobi
gfory
ourshoes"

Hi
sfistwashol
dingmyweavet
ight
.Yohitwaspai
nful
.Iscr
eamedabutandheturnedme
ar
oundandslappedmeandIwentdown.Ihel
dmycheekandlookedathi
mindi
sbeli
ef.

Me:
"di
dyouj
ust
?Di
dyouj
ustsl
apme?Mi
naAmandaRhadebe?TheeAmanda?"

Myangerbr
ewed.

Mandl
a:"Ineedt
oshowy
ouwhoi
sthemancausei
tseemsy
ouhav
efor
got
ten"

Hechar
gedtowardsmeandIgotupqui
ckandrantothevaseandt
ooki
tandt
hrewi
tathi
s
f
aceandithi
thi
m befor
eitwentt
othef
loor
.Hegroaned.

Mandl
a:"f
uckAmanda!
"

Itookmyphoneandkey swhil
ehehadhi shandsonhi sf
acethenhel ookedatmewi t
hblood
drippi
ngonhi sface.Iwasscared.I
sthi
st hesamemanIusedt olov
e?Il ookedatt
hedoorand
hedashedt herefastandlockedit
.NowIam st uck.Ir
antothebathroom andgoodthingIwas
fastenoughandt henIlockedit
.iwasshakingwhilehebangedthedoor.

Mandl
a:"openupAmandabef
oreIbr
eakt
hisdoor!
!!
"

Heroar
edandIt
ookmyphonewit
hmyhandsshaki
ngandIwentt
omycont
act
sanddi
aledhi
s
number
.Heanswer
edont
hefir
stri
ng.

Mongezi
:"wi
fey"

Me:
"(
cry
ing)Pl
easecomegetme.Hei
sgonnaki
l
lme."

Mongezi:
"(shuf
fl
ing)whati
sthatbangi
ng?
shi
tIam gonnabet
her
ein10mi
nut
eshangonwho
am Iki
ddi
ng5"

Me:
"St
opt
alki
ngandj
ustcome"

Hechuckl
edandhungup.

Bang!
bang!Bang!

396
Mandl
a:"whenIopent
hisdoorAmandaIam gonnat
eachy
oual
esson!
!"

Hekeptonbangingwhi
l
eIplacedupanddownt hebathr
oom l
ikeIam alunit
ic.Ev
enthe
st
ingi
ngsensat
iononmycheekdidn'
tdi
sturbbebecauseIhadbiggerpr
oblems.Istopped
walki
ngar
oundwhenIhear
dabangmeani ngheist
ryi
ngtoopent hedoor.

Me:
"Mongezi
wher
ear
eyou"

Ther
ewassi
l
enceaf
tersomet
ime.Aknockst
art
ledmef
rom t
hebat
hroom.

"
Amandaopenupi
tme.Hei
sgone"

Iunlockt
hedoorsl
owlywhil
ehol
dingatowelj
usttostr
anglewhoevert
hati
siftheyat
tack.The
doorpushedopenandIst
eppedbackanddroppedthetowelandthenr
antohisarmsandI
cri
ed.

Mongezi
:"shhi
t'
sok.Iam her
e"

Hecar
essesmybackandt
henIr
emov
emy
sel
ffr
om hi
m andhecupsmyf
ace.

Mongezi
:"hedi
dthat?"

Inoddedandhehel
dme.

Mongezi
:"i
t'
sok.Iam her
enow"

I
tfel
tgoodtobet
akencar
eofandhav
esomeonest
rongf
ory
ouandy
ouj
ustbeweakand
v
ulner
able.

Tobecont
inued

I
nser
t61

*
PALESA*

397
.

Me:
"Iam gl
adNt
andoi
scomi
ngbackt
omor
row.Iam sol
onel
y"

Ndaba:
"youwantt
omov
einwi
thmet
hensi
ncey
ouar
elonel
y?"

Il
i
ftmyheadf
rom hi
schestandl
ookathi
m."

Me:
"wear
ejustshaggi
ngnot
hingmor
e"

Iconcer
ntr
atebackont
het
v.

Ndaba:
"ar
eyouhi
nti
ngy
ouwantsomet
hingmor
e?"

Me:
"no"

Hechuckl
ed.

Ndaba:
"cel
aungi
buke(pl
easel
ookatme)
"

Il
ookedathi
m andheper
kedmyl
i
psandcar
essesmycheek.

Ndaba:"
Idi
dsomethi
ngandwhent henewscomet oyou.Don'
tbei
rr
ati
onalbutucabange
ukut
hingi
kuf
unakangakanani
eduzekwam (t
hinkofhowmuchIwanty ounexttome)"

Igav
ehi
m aquest
ioni
ngl
ook.

Me:
"whatdoy
oumean?
"

Ndaba:
"Imean.
..
."

Hi
sphonedi
stur
bedhi
m andhet
ooki
toutwhi
l
esi
tt
ingupandIal
sosatup

Ndaba:
"Ndoda"

Ndabaissoconf
using.Soquiety
etwhenhespeakshei
sauthori
ti
veandmakeshi
spoi
ntbe
r
aised.Li
kei
satruedefini
ti
onofAZulumanashehasalotofthosequal
i
ties.

Ndaba:
"Iam comi
ng"

Hehungupandwor
ehi
sshoesandst
oodup.

Me:
"youwer
esay
ing?"

Ndaba:
"(per
kingmyl
i
ps)Sokhul
umamangi
buy
a(wewi
l
ltal
kwhenIcomeback)"

398
If
rownedandhewasouti
nasecond.Isatbackt
her
etr
yingt
orepl
ayhi
swor
dsandf
indout
whathemeans.

*
AMANDA*

OkIdi
dsayt
hati
tfel
tgoodbei
ngt
akencar
eof
fforassecondbyt
hisnowi
stoomuchr
eal
l
y.

Me:
"youcant
akemehome"

Mongezi
:"af
terwhathappenedIam notl
ett
ingy
ououtofmysi
ght"

Me:
"butIam notababyMongezi
"

Mongezi
:"y
ouar
eawomanIam amanandi
t'
smydut
yasy
ourmant
opr
otecty
ou"

Me:
"Idon'
twanty
out
opr
otectme"

Hegav
emeaspi
nechi
l
li
ngl
ook.

Mongezi
:"Iwasn'
taski
ng"

Hiselect
ricgat
eopenedandhi
scardr
ovein.If
oldedmyarms.Heparkedt
hecarandIgotout
bangingthedoor.WhodoesMongezi
thi
nkheis.Ifel
tagr
iponmyupperar
m andhetur
nedme
around.

Mongezi
:"Dr
opt
heat
ti
tudeAmandai
tdoesn'
tsui
tyout
oday"

Me:
"it
'snotmentt
osui
tyou"

Hechuckl
edandputhandsi
nhi
spocket
.

Mongezi
:"NCNCAmanda"

Me:
"whatMongezi
?"

Heshr
ugged.Thatboi
l
edmef
orsomer
eason.

Me:
"Nx"

399
Hepul
l
edmebymywai
stt
ohi
schestandIwassqui
rmi
ngt
ogetoutof
fhi
sgr
ip.

Me:
"l
etmegoMongezi
"

Mongezi
:"l
ookatme"

Ididn'
tbutkeptonr esi
stingandhet ookouthisot herhandf r
om hispocketandheldmycheek
softl
yandthenki ssedme.Ist oppedmov ing.Istoppedresisti
ngfrom hi
sgripwhilehi
swarm
tenderl
ipsdev ouredni
neandourt onguessl owlyinter
twined.Bubblesfi
l
ledmyst omachfor
someoddr easonbutitfeltgoodandspinechi l
li
ng.Iputmyhandsonhi schestandbrokethe
kiss.Heli
ckedhi sli
psandbuthi sbottom l
ip.Forthefir
sttimeIwasshy .Helif
tedmyf acet
o
l
ookupt ohi m.

Mongezi
:"Iam her
enowandIwi
l
lpr
otecty
ouandmakey
ouhappyl
i
kei
tst
hel
astdayonear
th
andt
hatIsapromise."

Heperkedmyf or
eheadandl etgoofmywaistandwal
kedi
nsidet
hehouse.Iwasr
ootedwher
e
Iwaslooki
ngathisdir
ect
ion.Itwasn'
tanaskbutcommandinaway.Idon'
tknowwhybutIj
ust
smil
edshakingmyheadbef oregoi
nginsi
de.

*
LANDI
SWA*

Myt hr
oatissor
eandIhavebeenf
eel
ingdi
zzyaf
tereacht
imemyheadv i
sit
edthetoi
l
et.Iev
en
deci
dedt ost
ayint
heresoIwon'
tbeabl
etodoupanddowns.Ifel
titcomingagai
nandallmy
foodlandedint
hetoi
l
et.

Me:
"ohmyGod"

Thisfeel
sawf ul
.If
elthi
shandonmybackandIl i
ftedi
tandheclosedtheseatandgaveme
waterthatIri
nsedmymout hwi t
hthenIst
oodupandwenttothesink.Ibr
ushedmyt eet
hand
tur
nedt ohim.Hehasbeenqui etsi
ncel
astni
ghtwhenhewenttoseehisfather
.Hesatonthe
toi
letseatandIgavehim alook.

Me:
"ar
eyouok?"

Nkonzo:
"comeher
e"

Iwentt
ohi
m andhesatmeonhi
slapandt
ookmyhandwi
tht
heengagementr
ing.Hepl
ayed

400
wi
thi
t.

Me:
"yoursi
l
enceki
l
lsme"

Hesi
ghedandl
ookedi
ntomyey
es.

Nkonzo:
"Il
ovey
ou"

Me:
",Il
ovey
out
oo"

Ismi
l
ed.Heputhi
shandonmyst
omachandr
ubbedi
twhi
l
esmi
l
ing.Ihel
dhi
shand.

Me:
"tal
ktome,
"

Hecl
ear
edhi
sthr
oat.

Nkonzo:
"Ihav
etol
eav
esoon"

If
rowned.

Me:
"whensoon?"

Hescr
atchedhi
shead.

Me:
"Nkonzo"

Hesi
ghed.

Nkonzo:
"tomor
row"

Ist
oodupf
rom hi
slapbuthepul
l
edmeback.

Nkonzo:
"let
'st
alk"

Me:
"ther
eisnot
hingt
otal
kaboutbecauseal
readyy
ouar
eleav
ing."

Nkonzo:
"tel
lmehowy
ouf
eel
"

Me:
"itdoesn'
tmat
terhowIf
eel
causeIcan'
tchangeat
hing"

Ir
emov
edhi
sar
msandgotof
fhi
m andwal
kedoutoft
hebat
hroom .Hegotoutt
oo.

Nkonzo:
"Landi
swat
alkt
ome"

Me:
"wear
eengaged,
wear
eexpect
ingNkonzobuty
ouwantt
ojustupandl
eav
e?"

Nkonzo:
"Idon'
twantt
obutIdon'
thav
echoi
ce"

Me:
"weal
way
shav
eachoi
ce"

401
Nkonzo:
"butIcan'
tchanget
hisdeci
sion.Myhandsar
eti
ed."

Me:
"thi
sisabouty
ouonl
ythi
sisn'
taboutus"

Iwasshaki
ngI
nangerbutt
ear
sjustcameout
.Hest
eppedcl
oserandembr
acedme.

Nkonzo:
"Iam doi
ngi
tforourki
dsandy
ouaswel
l
.It
'snotaboutmebutourf
ami
l
y"

Hewi
pemyt
ear
sandper
kedmyl
i
ps

Nkonzo:
"Il
ovey
ou"

Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"

Heki
ssedmyl
i
psandIr
etur
nedt
heki
sst
henwebr
okei
t.

Me:
"f
orhowl
ong?"

Hesi
ghed.

Nkonzo:
"Idon'
tknow.Iwassupposedt
oleav
einmont
hst
imebutdadt
oldmey
est
erdayt
hatI
am l
eavi
ng"

Me:
",t
odowhat?"

Het
raceshi
sfi
nger
sonmyl
i
ps.

Nkonzo:
"youdon'
tknowhowmuchIl
ovey
ouandhat
eseei
ngy
oucr
y"

Me:
"Nkonzo"

Nkonzo:
"baby
"

Me:
"l
et'
sgetmar
ri
ed"

Hest
opst
raci
nghi
sfi
nger
sonmyl
i
ps.

Nkonzo:
"doy
ouwantt
o?"

Me:
"yes.Iwannabey
ourwi
febef
orey
oul
eav
e"

Hesmi
l
edandshowedhi
sdi
mpl
eof
f.Hepi
ckedmeupandIgi
ggl
edwhi
l
ehewasspi
nni
ngme.

Nkonzo:
"fuckIl
ovey
ouMr
sMkhi
zet
obe"

Me:
"Il
ovey
ouMrMkhi
ze"

402
.

Tobecont
inued

I
nser
t62

*
LANDI
SWA*

Thisisit
.AdayIdr eamedaboutgoi ngthroughinthenext18y earstocomewhenNt ombi isall
grown.WhenIknowIhav edoneaJobwel ldonebeingt hebestmot herIcanbet oherandnow.
Iam standi
ngher e.I
nfrontofthemi rr
orsmi l
ingandIwi pemyt ear
s.I t
'snotsomet hi
ngbiglikea
weddingdaybuti t'
smor ethanthat.It
'sthedaywher eIhav emyot herhalf.Someonewhowi ll
l
ov eandprotectusnomat t
erwhat.If eelsogr ownandt his.Thisfeelsli
ket hebestpresent
ever.Theknockont hedoordistur
bsmef rom myt houghtsandgogocomesi n.

Gogo:
"angazi
nij
aheni
(Idon'
tknowwhyy
ouar
erushi
ng)
"

Me:
"howdi
dev
ery
thi
nggo?
"

Wellsi
ncewewant edt ogetmar r
iedthi
ssoonNkonzowantedtopayl
obol
awhichi
sGogoand
BabuMzimelawhoist hegardenman.Thatmani ssohumbleandMongezi
.Hewasangryat
fi
rstmainl
ybecauseitwasshor tnoti
ceandsecondl
yItookhi
m awayfr
om hi
snewboo.He
doesn'
tknowafterthi
sIam gettingmarriedl
egal
l
ytoNkonzo.

Gogo:
"ev
ery
thi
ngwentwel
l"

Inodded.

Gogo:
"Nkonzoi
swai
ti
ngf
ory
ou."

If
iddl
edwi
thmyf
inger
s.

Me:"Ican'
tbel
i
evewear
edoi
ngt
his.Ican'
tbel
i
evehi
sisl
eav
ingr
ightaf
ter.
I.Can'
tbel
i
evei
t
gogo"

403
Shehuggedme.

Gogo:
"Iam pr
oudofy
ouMnt
anami
"

Ical
med.

Me:
"Iam scar
ed"

Gogo:"marri
agei
sn'teasy.Peoplegothroughdif
ferentt
hingsthroughmarri
age.Whaty ouand
Nkonzohadbefor
ewasn' tthat.I
t'
smoret hant
hat.IknowInev erbeenmarri
edbeforebutI
knowrespect
ing,
supporti
ng, honest
yand.Lovi
ngsomeonei ssomet hi
ngi
ncludedther
e"

Ichuckl
ed.

Me:
"Ican'
tev
enaskmom "

Shehol
dsmycheeks."

Gogo:
"Iknowt
haty
ourmot
hermaysayal
ot.ButIl
ovehowy
oust
il
ll
oveher"

Me:
"shei
smymot
her
.Thatwi
l
lnev
erchange."

Anot
herknockcamei
n.

MaZul
u:"si
l
indeNi
na(wear
ewai
ti
ngf
ory
ou)
"

Wenoddedandpr
ayedhuggedbef
orewal
ki
ngoutt
othecar.Wegoti
nandi
tdr
oveof
f.

*
PALESA*

Ndabahadbeengonesinceyester
daybutIdon'
tmindr
eal
l
yifhegoesaweekbecauseNtando
i
sbackandheisheresoast heQueenMother.Thi
swomanisl
ovel
yshame.Iwasinthe
ki
tchenmaki
ngmilkforNtando.Helooksf
atnow.

Queen:
"ourf
utur
eKi
ng"

Ismi
l
ed.

Me:
"(si
tt
ingdown)Shoul
dn'
tMenzi
hav
easoni
nor
dert
obeki
ng?
"

404
Queen:
"Idon'
tmi
ndr
eal
l
y.I
fitwasupt
omet
henSi
pheskhul
uwoul
dbeQueen"

Ismi
l
ed.

Me:
"that
'sni
cer
eal
l
yitshoul
dhav
ebeenconsi
der
ed."

Shesmi
l
edandt
ookt
hebot
tl
efr
om myhandsandFedNt
ando.

Queen:
"NganekaGogo.Uy
ambonaugogouf
reshkanj
ani
(gogo'
sbaby
.Youseey
our
gr
andmotheri
ssofr
esh)
"

Webot
hlaugh

Me:
"Ver
yandbeaut
if
ul"

Queen:
"thanky
oumychi
l
d"

Shei
sagi
nggr
acef
ull
y.Myphoner
ingswhi
l
ewear
etal
ki
ngandi
t'
sMom.

Me:
"excusemecanIt
aket
his?"

Queen:
"sur
e"

Ist
oodupandwal
kedt
omyr
oom .

Me:
"mamaev
ery
thi
ngok?"

Mom :
"unj
ani
?(Howar
eyou?)"

Me:
"Iam ok"

Shesi
ghs.Iam sweat
ing.

Mom :
"abakwaKheswabanesi
cel
o(t
heKheswa'
shav
eapr
oposal
)"

Kheswa?Iwasst
il
lthi
nki
ng

Me:
"Kheswa?"

Mom:
"yest
heKheswa'
sPal
esa.I
sther
esomet
hingy
ouwantt
otel
lmebef
oreIt
alkf
urt
her?"

Shedi
dn'
tsoundgood.Iwassweat
ing.Nt
ando,
inev
ert
oldmymot
herIwaspr
egnant
.

Me:"ngi
yaxol
i
samahbengi
zi
thwel
e.Ngi
nomnt
ana(Iam sor
rymom.Iwaspr
egnant
.Ihav
ea
chi
l
d)"

Ihearhercl
apherhands.

Mom :
"Iam sodi
sappoi
ntedi
nyouPal
esa.Yourf
atheri
stur
ningev
ery
wher
einhi
sgr
ave."

405
Me:
"iam sor
ry"

Mom :
"whoi
sthef
ather?"

Me:
"Muzi
kay
iseQwabe"

Sheexcl
aimed.

Mom :
"ebukhosi
ni?(Fr
om r
oyal
ty?
)

Me:
"youknowt
hem ?"

Mom :
"Iam i
nKznPal
esaof
causeIknowKhany
isar
oyal
ty"

Me:
",oh"

Mom :
"fanel
ebazohl
awul
a(t
heyhav
etocomeandpayt
hedamages)
"

Me:
"yesmom "

Mom :",Iam di
sappoint
edPal
esabuthappyatt
hesamet
imet
hatanot
hermanwoul
daskf
or
yourhandinmar r
iage"

Me:
"eh"

Myphoner
angandt
her
ewasani
ncomi
ngcal
l
.Theni
tcl
i
cked.

Mom :
"yesi
nThur
sdayIwanty
ouher
esowecanpr
epar
e"

Me:
"uhm mahokcanwet
alkl
ater?"

Mom :
"ok"

Ihungupandanswer
edt
hecal
l
.

Me:
"uy
angi
j
way
elakabi
Yazwena(y
ouar
eshi
ft
ingonmey
ouknow)
"

Iwasf
umi
ng.

Ndaba:
"hel
l
otoy
out
oo"

Me:"real
l
yyoujusthadtosendanotherhomeaboutmar
ri
agewhenwear
enotdat
ingwear
e
hi
tt
ingeachot
herdon'ty
ouunderstand!"

Hekeptqui
et.

Me:
"Iam t
alki
ngt
oyouNdaba"

Ndaba:
"Iknow.Iam j
ustwai
ti
ngf
ory
out
ofi
nishshout
ing"

406
Me:"Iam goi
ngformarr
iageNdabaIsti
llwantt
ogobackt
ovari
etyandst
udythenIgetmy
degreeandworkbef
oret
hinki
ngifmarr
iage.I
fyouwant
edust
ohav earel
ati
onshi
pyoushoul
d
havecourtmeke",

Ndaba:"Pal
esaIam toooldforcour
tshi
p.I
ndabazokutshelasengadl
ula(t
het
hingofcour
ti
ng
youhihavel
ongpassedit.)Iwanttosett
ledownaswel lhavesomeoneIcant
akecareoff
.you
wil
lst
il
lgotoschoolandachi
ev eal
lyouwantandsti
llbemywi fe"

Me:
"Ndaba"

Isai
dsof
tl
y.

Me:"Ndabanoof
fencebuty
ouar
eaShakaZul
uwi
feononkneeswi
that
raysay
ingbabaki
nd
ofman"

Hel
aughed.

Ndaba:"wow.Imaycomefr
om Nkandl
abutIam mor
der
n.Idohav
eZul
umanQual
i
ties
becauseIam aZul
umanbecauset
hat'
swhoIam."

Me:
"KodwaNdabazamadodaKheswa"

Ndaba:"ngiy
akuthanday
ezwa.Sobuyesikhul
umekumel
engi
phut
hume(Il
ovey
ouok.?Wewi
l
l
t
alklat
ertherei
ssomewhereIhavetorush) "

Me:
"wear
enotdone"

Healreadyhungup.Iscr
eamedonthepi
l
lowwhi
leroll
i
ngonmybedthenlookedatt
heceil
i
ng.
HisShakaZuluQuali
ti
esdoest
urnmeonatti
mes.Ifoundmy
sel
fsqueal
ingandimagingme
,hi
m andNt andoi
n"our"home.

Me:
"Ndabawhatar
eyoudoi
ngt
ome"

*
LANDI
SWA*

Thecarst
oppedatt
heMagi
str
atecour
ttheehi
ghcour
tinPr
etor
ia.WowIf
eel
goosebumpsal
l

407
overmybody.GogoheldmyhandandIsmi
ledwhilet
herewasmenwhower
est
andi
ngi
nfr
ont
ofthebl
ackcar
sinnavymil
i
tar
youtf
it
sandIlookedbackatgogo.

Gogo:
"let
'sgo"

Thedr
iveropenedf
orgogoandNt
sikaopenedf
orme.

Nt
sika:
"fi
rstl
ady"

Ismi
l
ed.

Me:
"hi
Ntsi
ka"

Nt
sika:
"hewi
l
lbeknockedof"

Me:
"hay
iit
'sj
ustasi
mpl
edr
ess"

Nt
sika:
"buty
ouar
ebeaut
if
ul"

Me:
"thanky
ou.Wow"

Nt
sika:
"Hepul
l
edsomest
ri
ngsf
ast
.Her
eal
l
yiseageri
nmaki
ngy
ouhi
swi
fe"

Me:
"Ican'
twai
t"

Iwasdr essedi nawhi t

eladyfai
ryl
ikedr
essthatr
eachedmyknees.I texposedthebackand
curledmyhai raf t
erwashingi
tandIputabutofmakeupandt henworewhitewedges.I
t'
s
simplereall
y.Wewal kedinsi
dethecourtandwenttothecourt
room andther
ehewas.He
turnedwhent hedooropened.Ther ewasapastorthereandsomeguyaswel l.Gogoand
MaZul ujustululatedandwelaughedbitandwegott ohim.

Nt
sika:
"shei
sal
lyour
s"

Nkonzo:
"Wow"

Ibl
ushed

Past
or:
"canwest
art?"

Wenodded.

Past
or:
"whoar
eyourwi
tnesses?
"

Wepoi
ntedatGogo,
MaZul
uandNt
sika.

Henoddedandt
hewhol ethi
ngstarted.Idon'
twanttoboreyouinthei
ntroduct
ionsev
enour
vowswewil
ldothem i
ntheactualday.Fornowwej ustwanttogetmarr
ied.

Past
or:
"inf
rontofGod,
Jesus,
thehol
yspi
ri
tandwi
tnessesInowpr
onouncey
ouhusbandand

408
wi
fe.Youmayki
ssy
ourbr
ide."

Nt
sika:
"ki
ssherpr
oper
lycausei
t'
syourl
astf
oral
ongt
ime."

Wel aughedandhesteppedcloserandweshar edakiss.Theyul

ulatedt henwebr okeitandI
wasshy .Ihi
dmyfaceonhi schestandhebr ushedmyback.Thisisi t
.Iam Mr sMkhizeand
hereismyhusbandleaving.Ourfi
rstt
ri
al.Tearslef
tmyey esandIr e!
overmy sel
ffrom his
chestsoIwon'tr
uinhismi l
i
tar
yunifor
m.Itmakeshi mlookgoodal otactual
ly
.

Nkonzo:
"babydon'
tcr
y"

Hehel
dmycheeks.

Me:
"Iam happyandsadatt
hesamet
ime"

Nkonzo:
"met
oo.Il
ovey
ou"

Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"

Wekissedagainandewipedmytear
sbef
orewewal
kedoutandther
ewasaheli
copt
erandhi
s
f
atherwasstandi
ngther
e.Hesi
ghedandtunedt
omeandkneel
edinfr
ontofme.

Nkonzo:"Iwi
ll
begoneforal
it
tl
ewhilemysol
dier
s.(Igi
ggl
ed)butdaddypr
omisest
obeback.
Takecareofmywif
e.Sheisal
lIgot"Iwast
ouchedanhekissedmylit
tl
ebump.Hestoodup
andIhuggedHim.

Me:
"Ipr
ayy
oubesaf
e"

Nkonzo:
"looki
nsi
dey
ourr
ing"

Idi
d

Me:
"for
ever"

I
twaswr
it
tent
hatandhet
ookhi
sout
.

Nkonzo:
"meansIwi
l
lfor
everbewi
thy
ouev
enwheny
out
hinkIam notIam al
way
sgonnast
ick
byyou"

Wehuggedanki
ssed.

Baba:
"thepl
anewai
tsf
orus."

Nkonzo:
"Il
ovey
ou"

Me:
"wel
ovey
ou"

Hest
art
edwalki
ngtothehel
i
copt
erandboar
ded.Hel
ookedatmeaf
terbuckl
i
ngupand
ev
ery
thi
ngandItur
nedandcri
edongogo.

409
Gogo:
"shhi
t'
sgonnabeok"

Myhear
twasheav
y.

*
XOLI
LE*

Muzihasn'
tcomebackf r
om l astni
ghtanIam wor ri
edabouthi m.Ihav ebeencall
inghim si
nce
helef
tandIjustwantustoapol ogi
seandr i
ghtmywr ongs.Ilov
ehi m andIam notpreparedto
l
oosehim.Iwasatt heki
tchendr i
nki
ngcoffee.Icouldn'teatanIhadanunset t
li
ngf eel
ingsince
Muzilef
t.Maybethewayhel eftmademeunset t
le.Ther ewasar ibbonthedoorbellandI
cal
ledMarti
nbutnoanswer .Iputmycof f
eedownandsi ghedbeforeheadingt
ot hedoor.I
openedadthereweretwopol i
ceoffi
cers.

Me:
"hel
l
o"

Of
fi
cer:
"gooddaymam ar
eyouMsLandi
swaDl
ami
ni?
"

Icl
enchedmyj
awsandhel
dont
hehandl
e.

Me:
"no,
Iam t
heowneroft
hishouse."

Of
fi
cer2:
"whatr
elat
ionsdoy
ouhav
ewi
thMeQwabe?"

Me:
"hei
smyboy
fri
end"

Theyl
ookedTeachot
her"

Of
fi
cer:
"Maywecomei
n?"

Imov
edoutoft
heway
.WhathasMuz
idone.Theyset
tl
eont
hecouchandaswel
l
"

Me:
"ist
her
esomet
hingwr
ong?
"

Of
fi
cer2:
"wecamebear
ingnotsogoodnews"

410
Me:
"whati
swr
ong?"

Iwaspani
cki
ng."

Of
fi
cer
:"MrMuzi
Qwabewasi
nvol
vedi
nacaracci
dentl
astni
ght"

Igaspedwhi
l
eshaki
ng

Me:
"whi
chhospi
tal
ishei
n.?Ineedt
oseehi
m"

Isai
dst
andi
ngansoar
ethey.

Of
fi
cer:
"Iam sor
rymamahedi
dn'
tmakei
t.Hedi
edont
hescene"

Isweari
t'
sli
keabi
gwi
ndpushedmet
othef
loorasIsankandcr
ied.

Me:
"nonoMuzi
can'
tdi
e"

If
eltl
i
keai
rlef
tmybody

Of
fi
cer2:
"ist
her
eanyf
ami
l
ymemeberwecancal
l
"?

Idi
dn'
thearany
thi
ngaf
tert
hat

I
nser
t63

*NKONZO*

Isawhert ur
nherlittl
eheadawayast heheli
copt erwentupandmyhear tbr
oke.Ifi
twasupt o
meIwoul dhav estayedbutIdon'thaveachoi ce.Ilookedtomyr ingandst
art
edplayingwithi
t.
Isighedandlookedoutt hewindowt hinki
ngthatImi ghtmissthosemonthsweshoul dbe
togetheri
n..Iam gladshewant edtobemywi f
ebef or
eIleave."
Wi f
e"wowIhav ethat.Whata
niceringt
oitanditjustsoothesmysoul i
naway .Wear ri
vedatORThamboai rpor
t.Therewere

411
menwai
ti
ngf
orusaswej
umpedof
f.

Sol
dier:
"Gener
al"

Me:
"wher
ear
ewegoi
ngf
orourt
rai
ning?"

Istoppedandt
urnedl
ooki
ngbackandhopi
ngt
hisi
sadr
eam.ThatIwoul
dst
il
lhav
eheri
nmy
arms.

Sol
dier:
"Col
umbi
afi
rstt
henRussi
a"

Me:
"let
'sgetgoi
ngt
hen."

Iboardedonthepr
ivat
ejet
.Nt
sikagoti
nandsatnex
ttome.Ist
il
lpl
ayedar
oundmyr
ingwhi
l
e
l
ookingoutsi
de.

Nt
sika:
"it
'sgonnabegood"

Hepat
tedmyback

Me:
",i
t'
stoughl
eav
ingher"

Nt
sika:
"Dawi
l
lmakesur
eshei
sok"

Me:
",i
t'
snott
hesame"

Hebecamesilentandthehost
esscamet oaskusifweneedanything.Ify
oucanspeedupt hi
s
andmakemecomebackhomef orLandi
swathenIcantal
k.IhopewhenIcomebackIcan
separ
atemywor kmodeandhowIshoul dbeathome.Iwillbetr
ainedt oberuthl
essanddon'
t
haveahear
t.Ididn'
thaveoneunt
ilLandi
swafoundoneinme.Thepl anetookoffsoon.

*LANDI
SWA*

Painafterpain.IneverthoughtMuzi
woulddososoon.I twasthedayNkonzoleftwhenIfound
outthenewsandi twast oomuch.Nomabl amesXolil
eforbei
ngsostupi
dandt hatherbr
other
di
edl i
kethatj ustbecauseshehadlit
tl
einsecur
it
iesaboutmeandMenzi.PoorMenzi andthe
Queenar ejustdisfunct
ional
.Hewasat winandson.Wear eattheki
ngdom andSengway oand

412
gogojusttookust other iverastheroyalf
ami l
ytogetcleansed.I
twill
bedonet wice.The
secondti
met hedayaf terwehav elai
dMuzi t
orest.Icouldn'
tbeli
eveheisgone.Iwonderhow
Nkonzowoul dfeel.Besi deseveryt
hingthathashappenedhewasmycousi nandf amil
y.He
wasNkonzo' sbestfr
iend.Iwal kedinthekitchenhungryalotandtheservantsst
oppedt al
ki
ng
whenIwal kedin.Iclickedt hekett
leonandst oodtherewhilewaiti
ngforthewatertobewarm.
Theyalll
ookedatme.

Me:
"ist
her
eapr
obl
em l
adi
es?
"

Lady:
"noy
ourhi
ghness,
Shoul
dImaket
eaf
ory
ou?
"

Me:
"Iwi
l
lmanagej
ustf
ine.Andpl
easecal
lmeLandi
swa"

Theynoddedandt
hekettlecl
icked.Imadesomet eaandbi
scui
tsforTheQueenandt
henI
walkedof
ftothel
ounge.Ikneeledi
nfr
ontofherandshesmil
ed.Shewasn'
tok.Weallar
enot
ok.

Me:
"her
eissomet
eaandbi
scui
ts"

Queen:
"Iam f
ine."

Me:
"youneedt
oeat"

Gogo:
",y
esmyQueen"

Queen:
"Ican'
tst
omachany
thi
ng"

Iputev
ery
thi
ngont
hesi
de.

Me:"Iwon'
tl
iet
hisi
sver
ypai
nful
.Iwi
shi
twasanot
herMuzi
Qwabebutt
hebodyconf
ir
medi
t
washim."

Tear
sdr
oppedf
rom ourey
es.

Me:
"Ir
eal
l
ywi
sht
hatt
hingswer
edi
ff
erent
.Thathewasst
il
lher
e"

TheQueenpul
l
edmet
oherandwecomf
ort
edeachot
her
..

Gogo:
"Kubobonkeot
hixo

Akekhoonj
engawe.

Kubay
incebazakhe

zi
mungunaphakadezi
mingunaphakade"

Si
ngi
ng.Il
ostNt
ombi
nowMuzi
isal
sogone.

413
.

*
PALESA*

SoMuzi isgone.Ihavenevercri
edlikethatinmyl if
e.NotbecauseIwantedhim orsomething
butformyson.GroaningupwithoutaFat her.Iknowt hatpai
nbecauseIli
veditandInever
wishedforhimtoexperi
encethat.It
ouchsl eepingNtando'scheekandtearsl
eavemyey es.The
thoughtofconst
antl
ywishingyourfatherwast here.Hewon'tseehim gotoschoolf
orthefirst
ti
meorev ensayhisfi
rstwordbuthel iv
estoseeason.Ami nihi
mt hathelef
tbehi
nd.

Icar
ri
edonbrushi
nghim andthenthedooropened.WewereatKhanyi
saKingdom.Iwasst
uck
i
nmyr oom t
hewholeday.Ilookedupandi twasNdaba.Igotof
fthebedandrushedt
ohim
andheengul
fedmeinahug.Icr i
ed.

Me:
"Thi
sissad."

Hewasqui
etbutbr
ushi
ngmyback.

Me:
"howwi
l
lNt
andocope.Icoul
dn'
tcopewi
thoutmyf
ather"

Ndaba:"shhitwi
ll
beok.Iknowt
hatIwon'
tbei
ntheshoesofbei
ngNt
ando'
sbi
ologi
cal
fat
her
butIam wil
l
ingtofat
herhi
m"

Il
ookathi
m andhewi
pesmyt
ear
sandki
ssesmyf
orehead.

Ndaba:
"Ngi
yakut
handa(Il
ovey
ou)
"

Ij
ustsmi
l
edandbur
ri
edmyheadonhi
schest
.

Ndaba:
"lookatme,
Iwannaseet
hatsmi
l
e"

Il
if
tedmyfaceandlookedathi
m bef
orehidi
ngagai
nandhechuckl
edandNt
andocr
ied..he
hasbeencr
yingsi
ncewegothereandsleptonl
y10minut
es.

Ndaba:
"Igothi
m"

HeletgoofmeandwenttoNt
andowhowascr
yinghi
slungsoutandcr
adl
edhi
minhi
sar
ms
andhecalmeddownandsl
ept
.

Me:
"hehasbeencr
yingsi
ncewecameher
e"

414
Ndaba:
"meansIhav
egoodhands"

Ir
oll
edmyey
es

Me:
"yeahr
ight"

Wesati
nthebed.

Me:
"thi
sismyf
ir
stt
imeseei
ngy
ouwi
thoutaphone"

Het
ooki
toutofhi
spocket
.

Me:
"Imeanl
i
keoni
t"

Ndaba:
"whatIneedi
sri
ghti
nfr
ontofme"

Ismi
l
e.Il
aidmyheadonhi
schest
..

*
XOLI
LE*

.
Thedeat hofMuzihi
tmereall
yhard.Ibl
amemy self
kf.I
fIdi
dn'targuewi
thhi
m hewoul
dhave
beenhere.Hewouldsti
l
lcal
lmehoneybunandhol dmewhi lekissi
ngme.Wewouldbeher
eat
Khanyi
sajustt
ospendhappytimesbutthat
'snotthecase.Igotintomymother
'sr
oom.Il
aid
myheadonherl apwhil
esheputherbeadworkaside.

Me:
"ithur
tsmah"

Mom :
"itwi
l
lbeok"

Me:
"Idon'
tknowhowni
wil
lcar
ryon"

Mom :"(si
gh)KodwaMntanamiwazi
nikel
ayenaengakushadanga(Butmychi
l
dyougav
e
your
selftohi
m wi
thouthi
m mar
ryi
ngyou)"

Ikeptqui
et.

Mom :
"Iknowy
ouar
einpai
nbutIam nothappy
.It
houghty
ouwer
egoi
ngt
ost
udy"

Icr
ied.

415
Me:
"Iam sor
rymah"

Mom :
"whatcanIsaybecauset
hechi
l
dispr
oduci
ng"

Isatupandl
ookedather
.

Me:
",Chi
l
d?"

Mom :
"don'
tactl
ikeyoudon'
tknowukut
hiumi
thi(
youdon'
tknowy ouarepregnant
)youar
etoo
moodyandrudeandeatt
oomuchxhandIam From t
hevi
ll
ageIcan'tbefool
ed"

Me:
"Iam not
hingbutpr
egnant
.Muzi
woul
dgetm t
hosepi
l
ls."

Mom :
"li
fty
ourt
opup"

Idi
d.Andl
aidonmyback"

Mom:
"whati
sthi
sdar
kli
kef
or?Touchy
ourst
omachandf
eel
thati
t'
shar
d"

Idi
ddot
hatandi
twashar
d.Icr
ied.OhmyGod.

Me:
"mamaIdi
dn'
tknow"

Mom :
"letmegomakesomet
ea"

Shewal
kedout
.Muzi
whydi
dyoul
eav
eme.It
ouchedmyst
omachandcr
iedmor
e.

*
AMANDA*

.
wehavej ustar
ri
vedatKhany
isaandIheardt
hatXoli
swafoughtwit
hMuzibecauseshehas
i
nsecur
it
ies.Ihadmyguni nmybag.YesIhadmyf ar
eshareoffi
ghtswi
thMuzi butIdi
dn'
tl
ike
t
hisXol
iswaofhers.Hetreat
edmygirlri
ghtt
il
lwhathedi
d.IgotoutofthecarandMongezi
f
oll
owed.

Mongezi
:"don'
tdoany
thi
ngst
upi
dAmanda"

It
urnedandst
eppedcl
oserandper
kedhi
sli
ps.

Me:
"Iwon'
t.Justdoi
ngsomecl
eani
ng."

416
Mongezi
:
"Idot
hecl
eani
ngandnott
oday"

Me:
"canwegoi
nal
ready?"

Henoddedandwewal kedi n.Ther

ewereawholelotofpeopl
e.Probablythevi
ll
i
gersheret
o
sendthei
rcondol
ences.Ihaveneverseenaakingdom whotr
eatstheirpeopl
esogoodl i
kethi
s
one.Therewasalotofplantsandtheywer
etakenaway.IgottoNomaandLandi swaandthey
j
umpedt ohugme.

Me:
"Iam sor
rygi
rl
s"

Theysi
ghed.

Me:
"hel
l
omyQueen"

Shesmi
l
ed.Icani
magi
net
hepai
ninf
li
ctedont
hissweetwoman.

Me:
"canwegot
oar
oom ?"

Mongezi
:"behav
e""whoar
eweki
l
li
ng?"

Me:
"

Me:
"Iwi
l
l"

Wewal
kedt
oar
oom di
rect
edbyNomaandwegoti
nandIcl
osedt
hedoor
.

Me:
"wher
eisPal
esa?"

Noma:
"inherr
oom.It
hinkshei
swi
thNdaba"

Me:
"ohshewi
l
lheart
henewsl
ater
.Changegi
rl
sint
obl
ackandwearhat
s."

Landi
swa:
"wher
ear
ewegoi
ng?
"

Me:
"togetr
idofsomeone.Weshoul
dhav
egot
tenr
idof
flongago"

Iopenedmybagandl
aidt
hegunsont
hebed.

Landi
swa:
"ohmyGodAmandaAr
eyouat
hug?
"

Me:
"Iam Mor
ethant
hat"

Shegasped.

Noma:
"whoar
eweki
l
li
ng?
"

Landi
swa:
"wear
eki
l
li
ngnoone.Wear
enotki
l
ler
s"

Wei
gnor
eher

417
Me:
"Xol
i
swagi
rl"

Landiswa:
"Nowearedef
ini
telynotdoi
ngt
hat
.Amanday
ouar
eal
awy
ery
oushoul
dknow
bett
erandNomayouareaprincess"

Noma:
"notwheni
tcomest
orev
enge"

Me:
"yesgi
rlhi
ghf
ive"

Landi
swa:
"shedi
dnot
hing"

Me:
"butt
hinkshewast
oohi
ghf
orhersel
fwhenshewassay
ingMuzi
dri
vi
nghi
mtohi
sgr
ave"

Landi
swa:
"shedi
dn'
tki
l
lhi
m!"

Noma:
"buti
t'
sherf
aul
t."

Shewentt
othebedandt
ookt
hegunandputt
hem i
nthebag

Landi
swa:
"wear
enotki
l
li
ngany
way"

Noma: "st
ayoutofi
tthe.I
fyouwannapr
act
icey
ourhol
i
ert
hant
houactdoi
tonsomeoneel
se.
Iam gonnachange"

Shewal
kedoutbangi
ngt
hedoor
."Landi
swal
ookedar
eme

Landi
swa:
"Iam sodi
sappoi
ntedi
nyouAmandaIex
pect
edmor
efr
om y
ouReal
l
y"

Shewalkedout.Mxm Iknowwhatshesaidhurtmeinawayandt
ouchedmebutt
hisXol
i
swa
gi
rlneedstogo.Idon'
tknow,goshIam conf
used..

Tobecont
inued.

I
nser
t64

418
*
LANDI
SWA*

Iknownotev ery
onelikesXolil
ebutshei
snott heonewhocausedthecaraccidentandki
ll
Muzi.
ReallyIam f
umingfrom Amanda'sbehavi
our.Isearchf
orMongeziandtheysayheisatthe
palacegarden.IheadthatsideandIseehim sit
ti
ngwit
hMenzi.Goodtheyarenotkill
i
ngeach
other.Iwal
kedupt othem andtheyseem t
obet alki
ng.

Me:
"Hi
Menzi
"

Menzi
:"Hi
wow.Youar
egl
owi
ng"

Ismi
l
ed.

Me:
"thanky
ou.Ihav
en'
tseenMbal
i"

Menzi
:
"shei
ssomewher
einsi
de"

Me:
"ohok.Mongezi
keepy
ourgi
rlonal
eashsheI
sget
ti
ngoutofcont
rol
"

Mongezi
:"whatdi
dshedo?"

Me:
"sheandNomaar
eteami
ngupt
ogoandshootXol
i
le"

Theybot
hspr
ingoutoft
hei
rchai
rs.

Mongezi
:"FuckAmandadoesn'
tl
ist
en"

Menzi
:"l
et'
srusht
othem bef
orei
t'
slat
e"

Werushedinsi
de.Theywerey
'al
landsothei
rst
epswerewayaheadofmine.Iwasr
eall
ytr
ying
t
okeepupwi ththem.Whenwegottotheroom t
heywer
eintheywer
ealr
eadychanged.
Mongezihel
dAmandabyt hewaist
.

Mongezi
:"ngi
theni
ngokuhl
upha(whatdi
dIsayabouty
oumi
sbehav
ing)
"

Amanda:
"Not
hing"

Sheshotmeaney
e.

Noma:
"Amanday
ouar
egonnaf
indmei
nthecar"

Shet
ookt
hebag.

Menzi
:
"noonei
sleav
ingt
hisr
oom "

419
Hest
eppedi
nfr
ontofNoma.

Noma:
"Menzi
Idon'
twannaf
ighty
ou"

Menzi
:"Shoul
dIcal
ldad?

Noma:
"I.
..
I"

Shekeptqui
et.

Mongezi
:"Landi
sway
oucanl
eav
e.

Iwalkedoutoftheroom.Yout
oomuchdr amal
atel
y.Iwentuptomyroom.If
eelt
ir
edandmy
feetareswol
len.Icl
oset
hedoorandIt
hrowmyselfonthebed.It
ouchedmystomach.

Me:
"Youbabi
esar
eshowi
ngmef
lames"

Igi
ggl
edandthensi
ghedwhil
elooki
ngatmyri
ng.It
rytobestr
ongbuti
tpr
ovest
obedi
ff
icul
t.
Myphoneri
ngsandit
'sanunknownnumber
.It
akeitandansweri
t.

Me:
"Hel
l
o"

"Fi
rstl
ady"

Me:
"Nt
sikahi
"

Nt
sika:
"howar
eyouhol
dingup?"

Isi
ghed

Me:
"sof
arst
il
li
ntact"

Nt
sika:
"Isee."

Ibi
tmybot
tom l
i
ptr
yingt
onotgetemot
ional
fornor
eason

Nt
sika:
"hei
sgood.Iam keepi
nganey
eonhi
mfory
ou.Ihear
daboutMuzi
"

Me:
"howdoeshef
eel
?"

Nt
sika:
"hedoesn'
tknow.I
twi
l
ldi
str
acthi
m andhewoul
dfl
ydownt
her
e"

Me:
"ist
hatabadt
hing?"

Nt
sika:
"yes.I
twi
l
ldel
ayhi
mtof
ini
shwhathei
sdoi
ngher
eont
imeandbewi
thy
ou"

Isi
ghed.

Me:
"Iunder
stand"

420
Nt
sika:
"Hel
ovesy
ou"

Ismi
l
ed

Me:
"Il
ovehi
mtoo"

Nt
sika:
"takecar
eoft
heki
dsMr
sMkhi
ze"

Ismi
l
edwi
der
.

Me:
"Iwi
l
lSbar
i"

Hechuckl
edandhungup.Il
aid.Ont
hebedanddozedof
faf
tert
hat
.

*
AMANDA*

AfterLandiswaandNomawi thMenzi
lef
t.Mongeziwentt
ocloset
hedoorandt
henhel
ockedi
t.
Isatont hebedandlookedathi
m.Landi
swaruinedourpl
ans.

Mongezi
:"Idon'
tknowwhat
'swr
ongwi
thy
ouAmanda"

Me:
"ther
eisnot
hingwr
ongwi
thmeMongezi
soj
ustl
etmego"

Mongezi
:"(t
urni
ng)Takeof
fyourCl
othes"

Me:
"excuseme?"

Mongezi
:"ngi
theKhumul
aAmanda(Isai
dtakeof
fyourcl
othesAmanda)
"

Il
ookedathi
m ashegav
emeadeat
hst
areandIt
ookof
fmycl
othes.Iwoul
dst
eal
glancesat
hi
m.

Mongezi
:"Li
eont
hebedony
ourst
omach"

Me:
"Mongezi
I..
"

Hepushedmetothebedandmademel i
eonmystomach.Hetookof
fhi
sbeltandheheld
bothmyhandstothebackandhet
ir
edmyarmsandthenwentont
oti
emylegsseperat
ing
them.Heputapi
ll
owunderme.

421
Me:
"whatar
eyougonna.
..
.ahh"

Hespankedmybutcheeksandt
henIf
elthi
sfi
ngerent
erme.I
twentt
otwoandsentdeeper
whi
leIcri
ed.

Me:
"Mongezi
"

Mongezi
:"st
opsqui
rmi
ngAmandasoIcangetdone"

Me:
"buty
ouar
ehur
ti
ngme"

Mongezi
:"Amandast
opmov
ing"

Het
ookhi
sfi
nger
soutandIf
eltr
eli
eved.It
henf
elthi
stonguedownt
her
eandImoaned.

Mongezi
:"st
opmov
ingAmanda"

Fr
om t
hepai
n.Thepl
easur
eki
ckedi
nandt
henmybui
l
dupst
art
ed.

Me:
"Mongezi
Iam near"

Hi
sgr
ipar
oundmywai
stwassot
ightbutIl
i
kedi
t.AsIwasbymyt
iphest
opped.

Mongezi
:"Yout
ast
ewonder
ful
"

Me:
"Fucky
ou!
"

Hechuckl
ed.Iwassti
l
lti
edupandcoul
dn'
texact
lymov
e.Hepul
l
edhi
spant
sdownand
mast
urbat
edinfr
ontofme.Thatwaspuretor
tur
e.

Me:
"Mongezi
pleasecanIcum "

Mongezi
:"y
oual
way
swantt
ogetev
ery
thi
ngy
ourway?"

Ishookmyheadandtear
slef
tmyey
es.Hest
oppedandgotbehi
ndmeandhehel
dmybut
.If
elt
histi
patmyent
rance.

Mongezi
:"don'
tmov
eAmanda"

Inoddedandhesl
ammedinmer
oughl
ybutIl
i
kedi
t.Hi
sgr
ipwast
ightashi
spacequi
ckened.
Hekeptonspanki
ngme.

Mongezi
:"y
ouneedt
oli
stenAmanda"

Ther
estwashi
stor
y.

422
.

Tobecont
inued

.
Inser
t65

*AMANDA*

Iwaslyi
ngont hebedandcouldn'
tmov emybodyproper
ly.Mongezidi
dshowmewhoi sin
chargehereandit'
shim.Hecameoutofthebathr
oom.Hesl eptherel
astni
ghtaft
erIcri
edof
al
lthepainIam havingdownther
e.Icanev
enfeelmypelvisvi
brati
ngfr
om theshock.He
comesbymysi deandkissesmyfor
eheadwit
hhandsinhispocket.

Mongezi
:"howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
"

Me:
"(l
ooki
ngaway)i
t'
sabi
tbet
teraf
tert
hesal
tedbat
h"

Hechuckl
edandsatnextt
ome.

Me:
"Mongezi
it'
snotf
unny"

Mongezi
:"y
oushoul
dseey
ourf
ace.Youl
ookshyl
i
keIj
ustbr
okey
ourv
irgi
nit
y"

Ipl
ayf
ull
yhi
thi
sshoul
der,
hechuckl
ed.

Me:
"thi
sisal
lyourf
aul
t"

Mongezi
:"y
ety
ouar
etheonewhokeptsay
ingIshoul
dgodeepery
eahr
ight
."

Me:
"youshoul
dn'
thav
eli
stenedt
ome."

Heper
kedmyl
i
psandst
oodup.

Mongezi
:"t
her
eismor
ewher
ethatcamef
rom "

423
Hewal
kedt
owar
dst
hedoor.

Me:
"pl
easesendi
nmyf
ood"

Mongezi
:"Iwi
l
lfeedy
ou"

Whocanarguewi
tht
hat.?HewalkedoutandIjuststar
edatt
heceil
i
ng.Hewasrough.So
r
oughyetIl
ovedi
t.I
twasthefi
rstti
meIhaveev erf
eltt
hatwaybef
ore.
Irol
l
edtothesi
deand
t
ookmyphoneandcall
edLandi
swa.Ineedtotalktoher.

*
LANDI
SWA*

OkthemomentIfoundoutIwaspregnantIwashappyy
ouknow butthi
sheadinthet
oil
et
busi
nessandmythroatBei
ngsorewasn'tpar
toft
hedeal.Idi
dn'
tsi
gnupfort
his.Ili
ft
edmy
headupandshehandedthewatert
ome.

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Ir
insedmymout
handshecl
osedt
heseatandf
lushedandIdr
anksomewat
er.

Ndal
o:"i
t'
sgoi
ngt
obef
inesi
siLah"

Ismi
l
ed.Bei
ngcal
l
edt
hat.

Me:
"theyar
eshowi
ngmef
lamest
houghNdal
o"

Shegi
ggl
edandshehel
pedmeupandIbr
ushedmyt
eet
handt
henwal
kedout
.

Ndal
o:"y
ourphonei
sri
ngi
ng"

It
ooki
tfr
om herandi
t'
sAmanda.

Me:
"hel
l
o"

Amanda:
"Iam dy
ingLandi
swa.Yourbr
other"

Me:
"di
edev
il
"

424
Amanda:
"away
oh"

Ihangupandl
ookedatNdal
oandIl
aughed.

Me:
"howi
sschool
?"

Ndal
o:"good.Idon'
tknowi
fIwi
l
lst
il
lst
udynowt
hatPr
inceMuzi
isgone"

If
eltsad.Isatdownont
hebed.Tear
slef
therey
es.

Me:
"comeher
e"

Wehugged.

Me:
"Iwi
l
lfi
gur
esomet
hingoutok?"

Shenodded.Idon'tknowwhatIwill
do.Ihavetosavetheseki
dsfr
om t
his.Godwhydi dyou
takeMuziReal
ly.Tearsrandownmyey es.Wejustcri
edineachot
her'
sar msunti
lNdal
oslept
andIwenttowashmyf aceandthenIwalkedoutandwenttoAmanda'
sr oom andshewaswith
NomaandPal esa.

Me:
"andt
hen?"

Amanda:
"yourbr
otherhappened"

Pal
esa:
"hepuni
shedher"

Sheshr
eeked.

Amanda:
"Iam bur
ning"

Me:
"Ser
vesy
our
ight"

Pal
esa:
"whathappened?"

Me:
"theset
wot
eam t
aggedt
ogoki
l
lXol
i
le"

Pal
esa:
"that
'swr
ongguy
s"

Noma:
"it
'sherf
aul
tthatMuzi
isdead"

Pal
esa:
"shedi
dn'
tdr
ivet
hecarandki
l
ledMuzi
andki
l
li
ngherwon'
tbr
ingherback"

Noma:
"buti
twi
l
lputmeatease"

Me:
"Yousee"

Amanda:
"countmeout
.Idon'
twannaf
eel
Mongezi
'
swr
athy
oh"

Wel
ookedather
.

425
Pal
esa:
"di
dIhearr
ight?"

Me:
"Amandai
sfi
nal
l
yscar
edofsomeone"

Wescr
eamed.

Amanda:
"Hai
bokushoni
weNi
na(
Wegr
iev
ing)
"

Me:
"poops"

Pal
esa:
"NowMongezi
hast
ojustknocky
ouupandThendone"

Amanda:
"Shi
t!"

Shesatupandt
ookherphone.

Me:
"what?"

Amanda:
"Wedi
dn'
tusepr
otect
ion"

Pal
esa:
"di
dy'
al
ltest"

Amanda:
"longt
imeagoandhedi
dn'
thi
titt
il
lyest
erday
"

Us:
"ewwu"

Wegi
ggl
edandshespokeont
hephone.

Amanda:
"Mongezi y
ouforgott
ogetmeMorni
ngAft
ers..
..
..
.noIam notonacont
racept
ivey
ou
dummy..
..
..
Iam notpl
ayi
ngMongezibr
ingt
hepil
l
s."

Shesi
ghedandhungupandl
aidonmychestwhi
l
ecr
ying.Wewer
esi
l
ent

Pal
esa:
"What
'supbabes?
"

Amanda:
"Hedoesn'
twantt
obuyt
hem "

Noma:
"Ihav
esomei
nmyr
oom It
hink"

Amanda:
"andy
oukeptqui
et?
"

Noma:
"Heshaggedy
ouIdi
dn'
tsohehadt
ogett
hem "

Il
aughed.

Me:
"Tr
ue."

Amanda:
"gogett
hem "

Nomawal
kedout
..

426
Wesatt
her
eandj
ustkeepi
ngAmandacompany
.

Pal
esa:
"Youmi
sshi
m ?"

Il
ookedatPal
esa.Ev
ery
onewasl
ooki
ngatme.

Me:
"Who?"

Amanda:
"Nkonzo"

Isi
ghed.

Me:
"Thi
sishar
d.NextweekIhav
etogot
oamammogr
am "

Ther
ewassi
l
ence.

Noma:
"it
'shear
tacheaf
terhear
tache"

Us:
"yeah"

Pal
esa:
"wel
lIam pl
ani
ngababyshower
."

Ihear
dsomeonecal
l
ingme.Isatup.

"Landi
swa"

Pal
esawast
alki
ng.Ist
oodup.

Amanda:
"Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?"

Me:
"uhm Ineedsomef
reshai
r"

Shenoddedwhil
elookingatmeweirdandIwal
kedout
.Iwal kedtothepalacegar
denandi
t
wasempty.It
houghtthevoicewascal
li
ngmehere.MaybeIam loosi
ngit
.

"
Landi
swa"

Ther
eiti
sagai
n.

Me:
"whoi
sit?"

"Landi
swamychi
l
d"

Iwasconf
used.

"Ar
eyouok?"

IturnedanditwassomeguyIdidn'
tknow.Hewaswear i
ngawhi
teshi
rtt
uckedi
nhi
sbl
ack
chinoswithafewbutt
onsundone.Lookedexpensi
ve.

427
Me:
"Uhm Iam."

Hi
m:"It
hinkIoncesawy
ouatt
hecor
onat
ion"

Ismi
l
ed.

Me:
"Ineedt
oleav
e"

Hi
m:"anhourofusgetti
ngtoknoweachotheri
sn'
twr
ong.May
beaf
terwewi
l
lseepot
ent
ial
f
rom eachot
hert
hatcoul
dleadsomewhere"

Hesmi
rked.If
rowned.

Me:
"of
fthemar
ketdar
li
ng.Idon'
tdochat
s"

Isai
dwav i
ngmyhandandwal kedawayannoy
ed.Nxx.Ishoul
dhavevomitedonhi
m.WowI
wasproudofmysel f
.IguessBei
ngmarri
edyouhaveeyesforonepersononl
yori
sitbecauseI
real
l
yloveNkonzo.Imisshi
m.

Tobecont
inued

I
nser
t66

*
LANDI
SWA*

Sengway
o:"Khumul
ani
izi
cat
hul
o(t
akeof
fyourshoes)
"

Wet ookof fourshoes.ItwasMe, Mongezi,

Noma,Mbali withherbabytheQueent heKi
ngand
theunclesandaunt s.Basi
cal
lytheroyal
famil
yofKhanyisaandGogo.I t
'sat2am andtodaywe
areburyingMuzi atdawn.Idon'
tknowwhybutIwon' tbeaski ng.Hewillbeburi
edinthe
Royalt
ygr aveyardbutnotwiththeKing'
sandQueens.IfeltdizzyasIhaven'
teatenbuti
fIeatI
wil
lvomi tIknow.Ipullt
heblanketovermybody.

428
Gogo:
"Menzi
comecl
oser"

Hewentcl
osert
oherandsatnextt
oher
.

Sengway
o:"l
ethani
umzi
mbawakhe(Br
inghi
sbody)
"

Theguardsnodandwalkoutandthecomebackcarr
yingt
hethecasket.Tearsst
reameddown
theQueenseyesandshecri
edontheKing'
schest
.Iwastr
yingt
oholdmi nein.Mongezi
brushedmybackandthatmadethingswor
seandalumpchockedmyt hroatandhehuggedme.

Mongezi
:"i
t'
sok"

Me:
"why?"

WhydidGodtakehi
m .It
hinki
twoul
dhav
ebeenbet
teri
fhewasi
nacommaandnoti
na
Cof
fi
n.Ever
yonecal
meddown.

"
Landi
swa,
Mychi
l
d.Takecar
eofmychi
l
dren."

Icl
osedmyey
esandhel
dmyst
omachasshar
ppai
nscamef
rom t
her
e.

"
Landi
swat
akecar
eofmychi
l
dren.Mypr
incessLandi
swa"

Me:
"Muzi
khul
uma(Muzi
tal
k)"

Iknowhi
svoi
ce.Ist
il
lhadmyey
escl
osed.

"Myunbor
npr
incess.Takecar
eofherf
orme."

Me:
"Iwi
l
l."

Ther
ewast
otal
sil
ence.Iopenedmyey
esandev
ery
onewasl
ooki
ngatme.

Sengway
o:"uset
hul
e(hei
squi
et)
"

Ki
ng:
"huh?"

Sengway
o:"hedi
dn'
twantt
oleav
ethi
sear
thasy
et.Hi
sspi
ri
twasn'
tatpeacebutnowi
tis."

Theyl
ookedatme.

Me:
"wecancar
ryon"

Theycarri
edon.TheyputMenzi wit
hhisbr otheri
nsidethecasketandclosedthebothofthem
i
nsideandthenhewast akenout.Theydidsomeot herthi
ngssot hatMuzi won'
tbeatt
achedt o
Menzi ast
heysharedawombandar et wi
ns.Af terthatwewer egoingt
ot hegravey
ardtobur y
him.Wewi l
lhaveali
tt
leservi
cethere.IheldNoma' shandwhowasamess.Wewentt othe
cemeterywherewewillhavetheli
tt
leserviceasf amil
yandt hengoburyhim.Theser v
icewas
niceandshort
.Menzi'
spaintouchedmet hemost .Wewon' teverunder
standhispai
nofloosing

429
hi
sbet
terhal
f.Whent
hecasketwentdowni
twasr
eal
l
yshat
ter
ing.

Me:
"Nkosi
,si
hlangene

Kuy
oindl
u,y
akho

I
zanawe,
sesingene

Embusweni
wakho"

Wewentt
opourt
hesandi
ntohi
srest
ingpl
aceandt
henwewentbackt
othepal
ace.

Noma:"Ican'
tbel
i
evehei
sgone.It
houghtt
hiswasadr
eam Iwi
l
lwakeupf
rom buti
t'
sar
eal
ni
ght
mare.

Me:
"Iknow,
Iknowt
hati
t'
shar
dbutwewi
l
lgett
hroughi
t."

Idon'
tev
enknowwhatIam sayi
ngbuttr
y i
ngtocomforther.Iwenttomyroom af
terIdr
opped
heri
nherroom andt
hesunj
ustrose.I
tjustr
ainedandIlookedoutsi
deandsi
ghed.

"Whatdi
dhesay?"

It
urnedandi
twast
heQueen.Herspar
kwasgone.Shewal
kedcl
osercl
osi
ngt
hedoor
.

Queen:
"whatdi
dMuzi
say?"

Me:
"It
hinkXol
i
lei
spr
egnant
.Hesai
dImustt
akecar
eofhi
sdaught
er"

Queen:
"ohmyGod."

Me:
"yes"

Shesatdownont
hebed.

Me:"manweneedt
otal
ktoXol
i
lebutnooneshoul
dknowaboutt
his.Iam wi
l
li
ngt
osayIgav
e
bi
rt
hto4ki
ds."

Queen:
"whati
fhi
sdaught
erl
ooksl
i
keMuzi
?"

OkIdi
dn'
tthi
nkoft
hat.

Me:
"iwi
l
ltal
ktoNkonzowhenhecomesbackbutIam wi
l
li
ng"

Queen:
"wecant
akecar
eofher"

Ihel
dherhands

Me:
"Iwantt
o"

Shesmi
l
ed.

430
Queen:
"Youhav
eawonder
ful
hear
tmychi
l
d"

Ismi
l
edt
ooandwehugged.

Queen:
"theser
vantwi
l
lbr
ingy
ouf
oodt
oeat"

Me:
"Thanky
ou"

Shestoodupandwalkedout.Il
aidont
hebedandmyphoner
ang.Il
ookedati
tandi
twasan
unknownnumber.Ianswered.

Me:
"hel
l
o"

Zanel
e:"y
ouar
esel
fi
shy
ouknow"

Isatupf
rom t
hebed.

Me:
"sel
fi
shaboutwhat?"

Zanel
e:"mama,
j
ustbecausey
ouhav
egoodl
i
fenowy
ouf
orgett
hewomanwhomadey
ou"

Il
aughed

Me:"y
oumeandestr
oyedme.Imademy
sel
fandIdon'
tcar
ewhathappenst
oyourmot
heras
muchasshewoul
dn'
twit
hme"

Ihungup.Herdeedsar
ecat
chi
ngupwi
thhernow.Il
i
ebackonmybedandt
akeanap.

Tobecont
inued

I
nser
t67

*
XOLI
LE*

431
.

Mom :
"Xol
i
legogett
hedoorandst
opcr
ying.I
t'
snotgoodf
ory
ou."

IwipedmytearsandIwalkedtothedoor.Iam nothappyIcouldn'
tatt
endMuzi '
sf uneral
.I
knowitwassaidonl
yfamilybutIneededt osaymygoodby eandhisgrav
ei sbyt hepalace.I
havebeencry
ingEvery
timeourmemor iestogetherf
looded.Ir
eall
ymisshistouchandki ssand
tel
l
ingmehowmuchhel ovesmeandnowhei sgoneandIdon'tknowhowIwi llcarryon.I
openthedoorandit
'stheQueenandKi ng.TheoldQueenandKi ng.Ibowed.

Me:
"yourmaj
est
ies"

Ki
ng:
"youmayr
ise"

Idi
dsl
owl
ybutmyey
eswer
epr
int
edont
hef
loor
.Ihear
dfoot
stepsbehi
ndme.

Mom :
"Xol
i
lewhoi
satt
hedoor?"

Sheappear
ed.

Mom :
"yourmaj
est
ies"

Queen:
"canwecomei
n?"

Imov
edawayf
rom t
hedoorwayandt
heygoti
n.

Mom :
"goandmaket
eaXol
i
le"

Queen:
"wewon'
tbel
ong"

Theguar
dswer
emaki
ngourhousel
ooksmal
l
er.

Ki
ng:
"mayy
oubot
hsi
tdown"

Iwassweat
ing.Wesatdown.

Queen:
"Xol
i
le.Iknow.Youandmysonhav
ebeendat
ingeachot
her
"

Il
ookeddownwi
tht
ear
spr
ickl
i
ngmyey
es.

Me:
"yesmyQueen"

Queen:
"weknowy
ouar
eexpect
ing"

Ishotmyheadup.

Mom :
"sor
ryt
ogoagai
nsty
ourwor
dmyQueenbutIbel
i
evet
her
eisnosuch."

Ki
ng:
"ar
eyoui
mpl
yi
ngt
hatoursour
cei
swr
ong?"

432
Mom:
"mostcer
tai
nlymyki
ng"

Hechuckl
edscar
y.Iswal
l
owed.

Queen:
"wel
lweknowoursour
cei
sn'
twr
ongany
oudon'
tmi
ndi
fyoudoapr
egnancyt
est?
"

Il
ookedatmymot
her
.Amani
nawhi
tecoat
.Hel
ookedl
i
keaDrwi
thal
i
ttl
ebagcamei
n.

Queen:
"theDrwi
l
ldr
awbl
oodf
rom y
ouory
oudohomepr
egnancyt
est"

Dr:
"af
ter
noon"

Isawmymot
hernotbei
ngmov
edwhi
l
eIwasshaki
ng.Hegav
emet
woboxes.

Dr:
"youpeeont
hose."

Inoddedandwewentout
side.Mymot
herf
oll
owedmet
othel
ongdr
opt
oil
et

Mom :
"Icamewi
tht
apwat
er."

Me:
"mamawecan'
tdecei
vet
hem."

Mom :
"wewi
l
luset
hechi
l
dwheni
t'
sgr
ownup"

Me:
"Cany
ougetoutIwannadot
his"

Sheleftacupwit
hwat erandwalkedout.Isi
ghedandlookedatt
heboxesawhi
lethenIt
ook
outthesti
cksandIdidwhatneededtobedoneandt henIwentbacki
nsi
deandsatdown.Wbal
l
wait
edandt heDrtookthesti
cks.

Dr:
"twol
i
nes"

Queen:
"wonder
ful
.Int
henexthourweneedy
ouatt
hepal
acet
odi
scussf
urt
her"

Inodded

Theywal
kedout
.

Mom :
"Xol
i
leman"

Me:
"Iam sor
ry"

Isai
dcr
yingandwentt
omyr
oom andcr
ied.

Me:
"Ineedy
ouMuzi
"

Isankont
othef
loor
.

433
.

*
LANDI
SWA*

Iwoul
dn'
tmindli
vingatthepalaceduri
ngthi
speri
odofmypr egnancy
.EachdayIgetl
azi
erand
l
azi
er.Iwasstuf
fi
ngmyf acewithbakedt
reat
s.Iwasattheloungear
ea.I
t'
ssaidMuzi
'sl
awyer
wantt
oseeus.Any waysomeonet ookmydonutfrom myplate.

Me:
"(st
uff
ed)Heymyf
ood"

Menzi
:"y
ouwi
l
lgetf
at"

Noma:
"wr
ongWor
dsbr
o"

Theysatnextt
omeandNomat
ookacupcakef
rom mypl
ate.

Me:
"Iam notpl
ayi
ngguy
s."

TheguyIsawatt
hegar
denwal
kedi
naswel
landhewassmi
rki
ng.If
rowned.

Guy:
"wemeetagai
nMs."

Me:
"Hi
"

Noma:"
Ntuthukosi
tdown.Nkonzowi
l
lgoal
lMassacr
eony
ouwor
ldwar3ony
ourPr
ince
behi
ndonLandiswa"

Wel
aughed.

Nt
uthuko:
"Iam notscar
edofhi
m.I
t'
saman'
sgamewi
nnerget
sthepr
ice"

Me:
"heal
readywonboo"

Theyl
aughed.

Nt
uthuko:
"don'
tyouwannat
ryme"

Me:
"NodudeandIam y
ourf
ami
l
yIt
hink"

Menzi
:"yeahNt
uthukot
hisi
sLandi
swaournewl
yfoundcousi
n.Landi
thi
sisNt
uthukohel
i
ves
i
nCapetown"

Me:
"Isee"

434
Nt
uthuko:
"cousi
nsdat
e"

"Y'
al
lwon'
t"

Mongezi
wal
kedi
nant
ookmypl
ate.

Me:
"(t
ear
y)y
'al
lar
ebul
l
yingme.Iam gonnat
ell
ony
ou"

Mongezi
:"t
owhocauseNkonzoi
snotar
ound"

HemunchedonmycakeandIcr
ied.

"Yey
iYey
iumsi
ndo(Noi
se!
)"

Theaunt
'swal
kedi
nwi
thoMal
ume.

Mongezi
:"Iam sor
ryl
i
ttl
eone"

Me:
"don'
ttal
ktome"

Mbali
camedownandsatnextt
oherhusbandandt
hent
heki
ngandQueencamei
n.Weal
lar
e
down.

Queen:
"wear
ewai
ti
ngf
ort
hel
awy
er?"

Wenodded.Wesata.Whi
l
etal
ki
ngandt
hent
hel
awy
erwal
kedi
n.Hebowed.

Hi
m:"y
ourhi
ghnesses.Sor
ryIam l
ate."

Queen:
"itokmychi
l
d.KznandGaut
engar
en'
t2m apar
t"

Lawy
er:
"ri
ght
.Canwest
art?"

Queen:
"let
'swai
tforXol
i
le"

Wesatandwai
tedf
orXol
i
lewhi
l
esnackswer
eser
ved.

Mbal
i:
"hai
boWazesal
i
ndaboh(wear
ewai
ti
ngy
oh)
"

Noma:
"Phel
ashet
hinksshei
srul
er"

Queen:
"KeepQui
et"

Wewai
tedf
orherandshecamei
nwi
thawoman.Shel
ookedl
i
keshegai
nedwei
ght
.

Lawy
er:
"wecanst
art
?"

Theysatdown

Queen:
"yes"

435
Thel
awy
eropenedt
hebr
iefcaseandt
ookoutl
ett
ers.

Him:"Ihav
ealet
ter
stot
hemot
her
,f
ather,
twi
nbr
other,
myl
i
ttl
esi
sterNoma,
Landi
swaDl
ami
ni
andNkonzoMkhi
ze"

Hegav
eust
hel
ett
ers

Queen:
"NkonzoMkhi
zei
soutoft
hecount
ryatt
hemoment
"

Hi
m:"whenwi
l
lhebeback?
"

Me:
"Iwi
l
llethi
m knowwhenher
etur
ns."

Henodded.Het
ookoutpaper
sst
apl
edt
oget
her.

Hi
m:"t
hiswi
l
lwasdr
aft
edont
he17t
hofJul
yandf
ini
l
sedt
woweeksago."

Wenodded.

Him:"asy ouarereadi
ngthiswil
lIwouldhav ehadmyt imeonear t
handnowIwi l
lbeUnited
wit
hmyancest or
s.MybrotherMenzimyt win.Readthelett
erandy oumi
ghtgetthecl
osur eyou
need.Ilov
ey ouandIam leavi
ngy ouwit
hnot i
ngreall
ybutourbaseballwegotinCali
for
nia
whenwewer e7.Iknowhowmuchy ouloveditbecauseitwassi
gnedbyourfavouri
teplayer
.
Str
iveandbet heamazingkingandhusbandanal sof at
heryouare.Wemayhav efoughtbutI
l
ovedy oumor ethananyt
hingintheworl
d.

Menzi
nodded.

Him: "tomyl i
tt
lesist
erNoma.Iam l
eavi
ngyouwi
thR5000000andabrandnewcarofwhi
ch
t
ill
obt ainwheny ouhavegr
aduat
ed.Ihopey
ouwil
luset
hatmoneytost
artasmal
lbusi
nessfor
yourselfinf
uture.

Nomawi
pedhert
ear
s.

Him:
"Xoli
l
e, honeybun.Theday
swespentt
ogetherwer
egood.Iam notl
eav
ingy
oul
i
ket
hat
.
Youwi
ll
sti
llstudytobecomewhaty
oudesir
ed.Findl
oveandbehappy"

Shewi
pedhert
ear
s.

Him: "Okwentandomyson.Mypr i
nce.Il
oveyoumor et
hananythi
ng.Myprideandjoyamini
meIam l eav
ingont hisear
th.SonIlovey
ouandhopeonl yyouwil
lst
ri
veandbeanexampl eto
yoursel
fanpeopl earoundyou.Iam l
eavi
ngyouatrustfundwor
thR20mill
iontostudyfr
om a
youngaget i
l
ly oufi
nishcol
lage.Makemepr oudboy."

Wesmi
l
ed.

Him:
"Hear
tkeeper
.It
snoteasyt
ogetoveryoubutIwantedyout
obehappyandasmycousi
n
aswel
l
.Lum Lum.Landi
swa.Ishar
edthebestandworstwit
hyoubuty
ougavemeatast
eof

436
whatlovement.Whatwehadwasstrongbutnotstr
ongenough.Wearefamil
ybutnowoman
occupiedmyheartl
i
keyoudi
d.Iam sorr
yforever
ythi
ngIhavedoneandIl
oveyou.Al
ways."

Tear
srandownmycheeks.

Him:"Ileaveal
lmycar st
oy ou.Myhousei nPretor
iaandinKhanyi
saaswell.
(ever
yone
gasped)Ial
soleav
ey oumyar chi
tect
urebusi
nesstoyou.ItsworthR100mi
ll
ionannuall
y,pl
ease
carr
yont heschol
arshi
pprogram .Ileavemytrusti
ny ou.I
nconclusi
onal
lthatIhavewrit
ten
hereshouldbeabindedasmydy ingwishes"

Iwasoutofwor
ds.

Aunt
y:"Thi
siswi
tchcr
aft!
!"

Xol
i
le'
smom :
"Mydaught
eri
scar
ryi
nghi
schi
l
d.Sheshoul
dgetal
loft
hat"

Xol
i
lewascr
ying.

Menzi
:"ev
ery
oneshutup!
"

Iwi
pedmyt
ear
s.

Queen:
"Xol
i
lewi
l
lst
udyaf
tert
hechi
l
disbor
nandi
sinourhands"

Xol
i
le'
smom :
"hai
bo"

Noma:
"youar
egonnagetoutofher
eol
dlady"

Queen:
"thati
sthedeal
andi
fshedoesn'
tgi
veust
hebabyt
henshewon'
tst
udy"

Xol
i
lecr
ied.

Lawy
er:
"Ok.Ihav
etodr
awacont
ractont
hat"

Me:
"canIt
alk?
"

Aunt
y2:
"maf
iki
zol
oget
sev
ery
thi
ngusnot
hing"

Lawy
er:
"yes"

Me:"canyoudr
awacontr
actthatstat
esthatbetweent
heunbor
nbabyandNt
ando.Whoev
er
gr
aduatest
heygett
hecompany.Ift
heybothgraduatei
t'
s50%each"

Xol
i
le'
smom :
"youar
esmar
tnehaf
teral
l"

Queen:
"Makei
tifNt
andogr
aduat
eshewi
l
lgett
hecompany"

Thel
awy
ernodded.

437
Queen:
"wecanal
ll
eav
e"

Ev
ery
onewal
kedout
.Xol
i
lesatt
her
eandcr
ied.

Me:
"Iam sor
ry"

Xoli
le:"Iknewhestil
llovesyousomewher e,Imeanyoucheatedonhi
m wit
hhisbest
fri
endand
abouttomar ryhi
m andIhav ehi
schildbutheleaveever
ythi
ngtoyouandgi
vesmea
scholarshi
p.(
shechuckles)y
eahrightwowl i
fe"

Iwassi
l
ent
.

Xol
i
le:
",Igav
ehi
m myv
irgi
nit
yandhel
eav
esy
ouev
ery
thi
ngaf
terwhaty
oudi
d"

Me:
"it
'shi
schoi
ce"

Xol
i
le:
"Iam notl
ett
ingt
hisgowena"

Shest
oodupandPal
esal
ookedatherasshewal
kedout
.Ibr
eat
hedout.

Pal
esa:
"Ihear
dyouar
eami
l
li
onai
renow"

Me:
"Idon'
tknow"

Pal
esa:
"shei
sthr
eat
eni
ngy
ou"

Me:
"shei
snott
aki
ng i
tgoodshegotaschol
arshi
ptof
urt
herherst
udi
es"

Pal
esa:
"that
'sdecent.Shei
stheonewhodr
ovehi
mtodeat
h.

Me:
"Pal
esa"

Pal
esa:
"stopbei
ngni
ceandSt
andupLandi
swa.Don'
tl
etf
arm Jul
i
etgett
oyouorIwi
l
ltel
l
Amandatosor
ther."

Il
aughed.

Me:
"Iam hungr
y"

Shebi
therbot
tom l
i
pasi
stokdup.

Me'
"whatwr
ong?"

Pal
esa:
"Ndabasental
ett
erhome.Hewant
stomar
ryhi
m"

Me:
"wowandy
ou?
"

Pal
esa:
"Idon'
tknowLandi
swa"

Shesi
ghed.

438
Me:
"whatevermakesyouhappyPal
esa.BehappynowandNt
andodoesneedafart
herf
igur
e
i
nhi
sli
fe.I
twon'tbel
ikehi
sbiol
ogi
calfat
herbuty
ouknowMuzil
ovedNdabafory
ou"

Pal
esa:
"may
bey
our
ight"

Ismi
l
edandshest
oodupandwehugged.

Pal
esa:
"il
ovey
ou"

Me:
"Il
ovey
out
ooboo"

Tobecont
inued

I
nser
t68

*
Fourmont
hsl
ater*

Li
fehasbeenbeaut if
ul andtoughatt hesamet i
me.Bei nginapr egnancyal oneisreall
yhar d
andItri
edtor eachoutf orXoli
lebutshedoesn' twantmet oo.Ileftherlikethat.Idon'ttrusther
motherthoughandSengway odidwarnmeabouther .Ihavebeengoi ngt oschool andf or
Muzi'
scompanyIf oundaact ingCEOwhowi l
loverlookevery
thingbutoncei ntwomont hsIwi l
l
getMongezi t
ol ookatt hebooksi fthi
ngsar estil
lgoingfi
ne.Ohonemor edetailordetail
s.
Soonenoughwewi llhav eawhiteweddi ngforPalesaandNdaba.Mongezi andAmandaar e
dati
ngandTheyar est i
llateachother'sthroatsbutthei
rlovei
scut e.Beingar oundcoupl es
makesmecr yattimes.Ihav eoneboobnowsi nceCanceraffectedonlymyl eftboobsobut
atl
eatIam recovering.Iwal kedoutoft hest udyandIgoandpl acemydi shinthesink.ihave
becamev er
yl azyreally.IturnandIst eponwat er.

Me:
"whatdi
dIspi
l
lnow"

439
IgoandtakeamopandIwalktot
hepuddleandIwi
pedi
tof
fandputt
hemopaway
.Shar
p
pai
nsstar
ttoactupandIhol
dmystomach.

Me:
"ahh"

Ihol
dmyst omach.Thepainssubsi
dedandIwal
kedt
othest
udyandbyt
hedoorwayt
hepai
n
star
tedandtheycameful
lfor
ce.

Me:
"gogo!
!"

Iwasshout
ing.I
twasl
i
kesomeonewasi
nser
ti
ngaIdon'
tknowwhatbuti
thur
ts.

Me:
"gogo!
!!
"

Iwentdownonmykneesholdi
ngmystomach.Myphoner angandseemslikeGogoi snotnear
.
Icrawl
edmyheav
yselftothet
abl
eandIgrabbedi
tbuti
tdroppedonthefl
oorandIt ookit
.Is
thi
swhatwomengothrough?Mysweatpant
swerewet.That'
swhathappened.Ianswered

Me:
"ahh"

Thecont
ract
ionsgotmor
eandmor
e.

"Shi
t!"

Theper
sonhungup.

Me:
"whatt
hef
uck?
"

"
Landi
swa"

Me:
"Iam dy
ingcomequi
ck"

Iwascr
yingandPal
esagoti
n.BoywasIgl
adt
oseeher
.

Pal
esa:
"ohmyGodbabes.Ar
eyougoi
ngi
ntol
abour?"

Me:
"NoIam j
ustsi
tt
ingher
eandscr
eami
ng,
thi
sispr
act
icef
orwheni
thappens"

Pal
esa:
"oh"

Me:
"Pal
esaManIam i
npai
n!!
"

Sher
ushedt
omeandshehel
pedmeup

Pal
esa:
"br
eat
hin.Br
eat
hout"

Thatwasi
rr
it
ati
ngr
eal
l
y.

Me:
"canwenott
alk"

440
Pal
esa:
"ohoksur
e"

Wewer
esi
l
ent
.Wewal
kedt
othedoor
.

Me:
"whyar
eyousoqui
et?"

Pal
esa:
"isn'
ti
tyousai
d..
."

Me:
"tal
k"

Pal
esa:
"yuuuhok.Uhm ar
eyougonnapushorC-
sect
ion?
"

Me:
"Mypussywon'
tbet
ighti
fIpush.Idon'
tknow"

Icr
iedandshetr
iedtocal
m medown.Wegoti nhercarandsherani
nsi
deandl
atercameback
wit
h3bags.Idon'tknowt
hegenderandIwant
edittobeasurpri
se.

Me:
"nomor
ebabi
es.Ican'
tbar
ethi
s.WhenNkonzocomesbackIam goi
ngt
oki
l
lhi
m."

Pal
esa:
"Isai
dthataboutMuzi
"

Wel
aughedabi
tthr
ought
hepai
nandshedr
oveof
f.

Me:
"can'
tthi
scargof
ast
er?
"

Pal
esa:
"Iam t
ryi
ng."

Shel
ookedst
ressed.

Pal
esa:
"Iwi
l
lki
l
lNkonzowi
thy
ou.Heshoul
dbedoi
ngt
his."

Me:
"Noonei
ski
l
li
ngmysnuggl
es"

Pal
esa:
"Igi
veup"

Wegott
othehospit
alandsheparkedandwegotout.Thecont
ract
ionswer
eget
ti
ngwor
seand
wor
se.Pal
esatookmet ot
herecepti
on.

Pal
esa:
"hi
shei
saboutt
ogi
vebi
rt
h.Herwat
erj
ustbr
oke"

Recept
ioni
st:
"wheni
sshedue?
"

Pal
esa:
"shei
sinpai
n"

Icr
ouched.Theygotmeastr
etcherandputmeonitandwheel
edmetothelabourwar
d.Iwas
l
aidonthebedandIhavet
akenof fmysweatsandt
opandworeahospi
talgown.

Dr:
"Iwantust
ocheckhowf
ary
ouar
e?"

Me:
"justpusht
hesebabi
esoutpl
ease"

441
Dr:
"openy
ourl
egsf
orme."

Idi
dopent
henwi
deandsheassed.

Dr:
"wear
est
il
lfar
.Wewi
l
lhav
etowai
t"

Me:"doaC-sect
ionthen.Whatdi
dyoul
ear
natmedi
cal
school
kant
ithatwhensomeonei
sin
pai
nyoushouldr
eli
efpain!
!!
!"

Iwasshout
ingandshewal
kedout
.Icr
ied.

Me:
"Pal
esa!
!"

Shegoti
n.

Me:
"wher
eismyi
cecr
eam ?
"

Pal
esa:
"icecr
eam ?"

Me:
"Iwanti
cecr
eam "

Pal
esa:
"okl
etmegeti
t"

Shewal
kedoutandIkeptonr
oll
i
ngi
nbed.

Me:
"Lor
dIcan'
tdi
etoday
.Isn'
ti
tenoughnow?
"

Tear
srandownmyey
es.Icl
osedt
hem.Pal
esawokemeup. Shecamebackwi
thi
cecr
eam and
Iat
esomeandsmear
edsomeonmybellyandshel
aughed.

Me:
"It
'snothel
ping"

Pal
esa:
"tr
yagai
n"

Idi
dagai
nandshel
aughed.

Me:
"laughatmypai
n"

Pal
esa:
"Iwi
l
l"

Shekeptmecompanyf
ort
henexthour
s.

TheDrwal
kedi
nagai
n.

Dr:
"let
'scheckhowf
arar
eyou?"

Shecheckedme.

Dr:
"j
ustal
i
ttl
ebi
t.Let
'swai
tanhour"

442
Me:
"youhav
ebeensay
ingt
hatf
ort
hepast4hour
s.!
!"

Shewal
kedout
.

Me:
"yadel
elal
ohdokot
ela(shei
sdi
srespect
ful
thi
sDr)
"

Pal
esachuckl
edandwesatanhour
.TheDrcamebackandPal
esawal
kedout
.

Dr:
"NowIam gonnacountt
o3t
heny
ouwi
l
lpush.Onet
wot
hreepush"

It
ri
edt
opushbuti
twasdi
ff
icul
t.I
twasl
i
keIdi
dnot
hing.

Dr:
"let
'st
ry"

Shecount
edandIpushed.Wi
thal
lmymi
ghtandawai
lcameabout
.Ij
ustgav
ebi
rt
h.Ohmy
Lor
d.

Dr:
"t
womor
elet
'sgo"

ShecountedandIpushedwi
tht
hel
i
ttl
est
rengt
hIhadandIcoul
dfeel
thatIhav
enonmor
e.
Babycri
eswe'ref
ading.

Dr:
"(
voi
cef
adi
ng)
weneet
odoanc-
sect
ionasapbef
orewel
ooset
hebaby"

,
Thatwast
hel
astt
hingIhear
dbef
orei
twasl
i
ght
sout
.

*
ZANELE*

IDeci
dedtodaylunchti
met hatIshoul
dgoandseeMom.Ihavemissedherandnowshei
s
mutebutgett
ingbett
erfrom al
lthescr
eamingashedi
d.Thenur
secal l
edherf
ormeasI
wait
edandthedooropenedandIl ookedatherast
ear
swel
dedmyey es.Ist
oodup.

Me:
"mama"

Shej
ustl
ookedatmeandwesatdown.

Me:
"mamai
t'
smey
ourdaught
erZaz
a"

Shel
ookedatme.

Mom :
"Landi
swa?"

443
Me:
"noZanel
e.Landi
swadoesn'
tl
ikey
ou"

Shekeptqui
et

Me:
"Ican'
twai
tfory
out
ofeel
bet
tersowecangoshoppi
ngagai
nand.
..
..
."

It
ookoutt
hest
ick.

Me:
"(cr
ying)i
am pr
egnant,
Iam f
inal
l
ypr
egnant"
,

Mom :
"Sanel
e"

Il
ookedather
.

Me:
",y
ouwantmet
onamemybabySanel
e?"

Sheshookherheadwhi
l
ecr
ying.Iwaswor
ri
ed.

Mom :
"mybabyboySanel
e."

Iwasshocked.

Me:
"wai
tmah"

Mom :
"fi
ndhi
m.Fi
ndhi
mfory
ourf
atherZanel
e.Hei
syourbr
other.Hei
s..
..
."

Shestar
tedscreami
ngandrol
li
ngdownonthefl
oorandcr
ying.Thenur
sesgoti
nandsedat
ed
herandtheyt
ookheraway.Iam nott
heonl
yone?

*
LANDI
SWA*

Isawagr eenf i
eldoncemor e.Itf
eltpeacef
ull
yandIwasatpeacebef oreiwokeup.Iopened
myey esandt heyscannedaroundt hewardandsawt hreebabycotsandwhatIsawnextto
them fi
l
ledtearsinmyey es.Tearsl ef
tmyeyesandtheymetanot hersetofey
esashestood
upandcamet oengulfmei nhisbigarms.Icriedonhischest.

Nkonzo:
"shhh"

444
Me:
"youar
eher
e.Youar
ereal
",

It
ouchedhi
sdev
elopedar
msandhi
sgr
ownbear
edandhechuckl
edandhi
snewscarbyhi
slef
t
ey
e.

Me:
"whathappened?
"

Nkonzo:
"not
hingbi
g."

Me:
"ki
ssme"

Hechuckl
edandl
eanedf
orwar
dandweshar
edapassi
onat
eki
ss.Webr
okei
t.

Nkonzo:
"Il
ovey
ou.Thanky
ouf
ort
his"

Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"

Het
ookof
fhi
sshoesandscoot
edmeov
er.Il
aidmyheadonhi
schest
.

Nkonzo:
"ar
eyounoti
npai
n?"

Il
ookedathi
m.Hi
svoi
cegotabi
tdeeper

Me:
"Iam butIdon'
tcar
eaboutt
hat
.Iam j
usthappyy
ouar
eher
e",

Heki
ssedmyf
oreheadandmyey
esl
andedi
nthebabi
es.

Me:
"hav
etheyeat
en?"
,

Nkonzo:
",y
es."

Inodded.

Nkonzo:
"theydon'
thav
enames.Iwaswai
ti
ngf
ory
out
owakeup"

Me:
"whatar
ethei
rgender
s?"

Nkonzo:
"2boy
sandagi
rl"

Me:
"Idon'
tknowy
ounamet
hem."

Ther
ewassi
l
ence.Ir
eal
l
ymi
ssedhi
m.Ipl
ayedwi
thhi
shandt
hathashi
sri
ngon.

Nkonzo:
"howaboutLi
sembo,
Embo,
Basembo?
"

Igi
ggl
ed.

Me:
"i
t'
sni
cef
ormi
dll
enames"

Heshr
ugged.

445
Me:
"Zamani
Ntombi
Jabu?
"

Hel
aughed.I
twassodeep.

Nkonzo:
"noSt
handwaSam.Iam notagr
eei
ngt
othat
"

Heper
kedmypout
edl
i
ps.

Me:
"Iam t
ryi
ng"

Nkonzo:
"no"

Me:
"mxm"

Nkonzo:
"(ki
ssi
ngmyf
ace)ar
eyoumadatme?
",

Ikeptqui
et

Hekeptondoi
ngt
hatt
il
lIl
aughed

Me:
"st
op"

Nkonzo:",
Iwon'
tcausewenababyuf
anel
eUt
handol
weqi
niso(Iwon'
tcausey
oubabydeser
ve
t
ruelove)"
,

,
Ibl
ushed.

Me:
",t
hanky
oubaby
.Il
ovey
oumy
eni
wam(myhusband)
",

Nkonzo:
"Il
ovey
oumor
emywi
fe.Damnt
hatf
eel
ssogoodt
osay"

Igi
ggl
ed.

Me:
"heywhydon'
twenamet
hem t
hat?
"

Nkonzo:
"what?"

Me:
"Fanel
e,ThandoandQi
niso."

Nkonzo:
"notbad"

Me:
"Fanel
okuhl
eLi
semboMkhi
ze,
Thandol
wet
huEmboMkhi
zeandQi
nisoBasemboMkhi
ze"

Heki
ssedmycheek.

Nkonzo:
"Il
ovet
hatandIl
ovey
ou"

Hepr
essedhi
sfor
eheadonmi
ne.

Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo.

446
Weki
ssedandt
hebabi
escr
ied.

Nkonzo:
",can'
ttheybegr
ownupsal
ready
?",

Me:
",haaht
ooear
ly"

Nkonzo:
"west
il
lwi
l
ltestourbedt
il
lwebuyanewone"

Me:
"wai
t4mont
hsBhut
i"

Nkonzo:
"butIhav
ebeendoi
ngt
hat"

Me:
"theny
ouar
egonnabest
rong"

Hegr
oanedandIl
aughed.

Me:
"youshoul
dn'
thav
eimpr
egnat
edme"

Nkonzo:
"Idon'
tregr
eti
t"

Ismi
l
edandwekeptont
alki
ngandt
alki
ngev
enf
orgotwear
epar
ent
snow.

Tobecont
inued

I
nser
t69

*
NOMAZULU*

447
.

Timesgett oughonmysi de.Ihaven'

tbeencopingwel lwit
hMuzi '
spassing.Itmayseem l i
keI
am stil
l f
ineandIam tryi
ngt ohealbutIam drowningintearsandpainandIwannanumbi t
.
Whi chiswhyIam her eatthisbar.It
'sarestaur
ant\barandIl i
keitf
orit
'scalmnesstoletyou
enjoywhat every
ouareherefor.Igulpdownt hesixthshotfrom t
odayandIsuckont hel
emon.
Itakeoutmymi rr
orf
rom mybagandl ookatmy sel
f.IcanseeIam st i
l
lmy self
.Idon'twantto
seemy self,y
esIcanfeelthatIam drunkbutnotenough.Iputi tawayandIl ookovertothe
bartender.

Me:
"Br
ingmeaJohnnyWal
kerandSkyVodka"

Hel
ooksatme.

Me:
"di
dyouhearme?"

Isayandbangt
het
abl
ewhi
l
eati
tandhewal
ksof
f.

"It
hinkt
hat
'senoughf
ort
heni
ghtnowpr
incess"

It
urnar
oundandf
rown

Me:
",
youdon'
ttel
lmewhatt
odoandar
en'
tyousupposedt
obeoutoft
hecount
ry?"

Nt
sika:
"Iam backnowt
otakey
ouhome"

Me:
"Ibr
oughtmy
sel
fher
eandIwi
l
ltakemy
sel
fbackt
hanky
ou."

Thebart
endercamebackandNtsi
kat ookouthiswall
etandgav
et hecardt
othebar
tender
payi
ngformybill
.Well
savesmealotofmoney .Idon'
tknowNtsikathatmuchr
eal
ly
.Notli
ke
Nkonzo.Theydolooksomewhatali
keorisitt
healcohol?

Nt
sika:
"comepr
incess"

Me:
"Iam notl
eav
ing"

Nt
sika:
"thenIwi
l
lhav
etodr
agy
ouout
."

Het
ookmybagandpi
ckedmeupl
i
keasack.

Me:
"putmedowny
our
ubbi
sh"

Iwashitt
inghisbackandpeoplewer
el ooki
ngatusandIdi
dn'
tcare.Heisli
keabouncerand
hit
ti
nghisbackwithmylit
tl
efisti
snothing.Heget
stoaJeepWr angl
erandhepl
acesmeon
thepassengersi
deandwenttohisside.

448
Me:
"myal
cohol
"

Nt
sika:
"don'
tdot
hatt
oyour
sel
fNoma"

Hegoti
nandandhedroveoff.Iassessedhim.Mxm shoul
dn'
thebeatthegym orsomewhere.
Myhandwenttohi
sthi
ghandhegl ancedatmeandbackontot
heroadanditwentfur
thert
o
hi
spri
vat
eareaandImassagedt here.

Nt
sika:
"(cl
ear
inghi
sthr
oat)Nomast
opt
hat"

Her emovesmyhandandcar riesondr

iving.Itakeoffmyseatbeltandtakeoutascrunchy
fr
om mybagandt iemyfoxlocksandIthentakeof fmyjacketandthr
owitatthebackandheis
steali
ngglancesatme.Ismileandheconcer ntrat
ebackontotheroad.Iputmyhandonhi s
priv
ateareaandIrubitandopenhisChinopant s.

Nt
sika:
"Nomay
ouar
egonnamakemecauseanacci
dentst
opt
hisy
ouar
edr
unk"

Ii
gnor
edhi
m andIt
ookouthi
sshaftandIpl
ayedwi
thi
tabi
t.Icanhearhi
m gr
oan.Isuckedon
hi
sti
pandIthi
nkweal
mostdied.

Nt
sika:
"f
uckNoma"

Me:
"concer
ntr
ateandkeepondr
ivi
ng"

Igobackandsuckf
rom hi
sbal
l
supt
ohi
sti
pandr
unmyf
inger
sther
eandkeeponsucki
ng.

Nt
sika:
"Shi
t!"

Ideepthroathi
m andkeeponsucki
ngli
keit
'sasweett
reat.Hi
shandonmyheadandthecar
hasstoppedinthemiddl
eofnowhereatni
ght.Thewayhegroanedt
urnedmeoncausehi
s
voi
cesoundedabi tdi
ff
erent
.

Me:
"cum f
ormeNt
sika"

Hisgri
paroundmyhai rgotti
ght
erandhewasattheedgeIcanf eeli
tandIsuckedoncemor e
andgavehim ahandjobandhespi l
l
edhisseedsandIcuppedthem andsmearedmy sel
finhis
sperms.Hisbreat
hingwasnowsl owingdownandIjustki
ssedhim andheret
urnedi
t[content
foundi
nthegroup]Insert69.

*
NOMAZULU*

449
.

Hisgri
paroundmyhai rgotti
ghterandhewasatt heedgeIcanf eeli
tandIsuckedoncemor e
andgavehim ahandjobandhespi l
l
edhisseedsandIcuppedt hem andsmear edmy sel
finhi
s
sperms.Hisbreat
hingwasnowsl owingdownandIjustkissedhim andheret
ur nedi
t.The
radi
owasplayingmusicont helowbutIknowi t
'smygirl
Ci ar
a.Hishandstrai
ledt omyneck
andminewentunderhi st-
shir
tthatishol
dinghi
mi npl
ace.

"
mybody,
i
syourpar
ty

Baby

Nobodyi
sinv
itedbuty
oumay
be

Icandoi
tsl
ownowt
ell
mewhaty
ouwant

Babyputy
ourphonedown,
youshoul
dtur
nitof
f

Causet
oni
ghti
t'
sgoi
ngdown

Tel
lyourboy
sit
'sgoi
ngdown

We'
rei
nthezonenow

Don'
tst
op

Ooouh,
youcan'
tkeepy
ourhandsof
fme

Si
ncey
our
ightt
her
e

Ri
ghtwher
eitst
art
ed

Ican'
tkeepmyhandsof
fyou

Yourbody

I
smypar
ty

Imadot
hisl
i
ldancef
ory
ou(
you,
you,
you)

Yougotmesoexci
ted

Nowi
t'
sjustmeandy
ou

Yourbodyi
smypar
ty

Let
'sgeti
tst
art
ed,
oh"

It
ookmydr
essof
fandhet
ookof
fhi
stopandhecuppedmyboobsandsqueezedt
hem sof
tl
y

450
andImoaned.Igotonhi
m andpushedmyg-st
ri
ngtothesideandguidedhisdickt
omy
tr
easureandhewasbusysucki
ngonmyneck.Ij
ustendedupr unni
nghist
iparoundmycl
i
tand
hestoppedki
ssi
ngmyneckandheremovedmyhandsf rom hi
sdick.

Me:
"puti
tin"

If
eltmywal
l
sexpandt
oaccommodat
ehi
m andhughi
scock.

Nt
sika:
"fuck"

HecursedandIst
art
edmov i
ngupanddownandhel ai
dhisseatdownandhel
dmybut
assi
sti
ngmeupanddown.It iedmyf
oxlocksbet
terwhil
egoingupanddownonhi
scockandI
pl
acedmyhandsonhi schest.

Me:
"mmmh"

Nt
sika:
"shi
tNoma",

Ourski
nssl
appi
ng

Me:
,
"yes,
yesNst
ika,
"

Iclosedmyeyesandkeptr
unni
ngandplayi
ngwithmyboobsandhel
if
tedmeupandmademe
stopandIl
ookedathim.Hepulledhi
sseatup.Il
ookedathi
m.Heki
ssedmycheek.

Nt
sika:
"let
'sgot
otheback"

Igotoffhim andhi
sdickspr
ingsoutf
il
ledwi
thmycum andwegott othebackandhet ookof
f
hispantsful
lyandpul
l
edmembymyl egandIgiggl
edandhebithisbott
om l
ipandperkedmy
l
ips.Weshar edaki
ssandmyhandswentt ohisshoul
derandheinsert
edhimsel
fwit
hout
warningandIgaspedinhismouthandhewentindeeperandqui
ckenedhispacewit
hmyl egon
hisshoulder
.

Me:
,
"ohmyGodNt
sikay
es,
yes"

Thewayhi swaistmov
edashewasmov
ingi
nandout
.Hi
sjoy
sti
ckwoul
dtouchpl
acesInev
er
thoughtexi
sted.

Nt
sika:
"fuckNoma"

Isqueezedmyboobswhi
l
emoani
ng.

Me:
"Nt
sikai
am cummi
ng."

Heincr
easedhispaceAndicameandhecar
ri
edonpumpi
ngmehardert
hanbef
oreandIwas
scr
eaminghisname.Icametwoti
mesmorebefor
ehewasgr
oani
ng.

Nt
sika:
"Shi
t"

451
Hepul
l
edoutAndhi
ssper
msspil
ledonmystomachandhehi
thi
sdi
ckt
her
eandIgi
ggl
edand
bi
tmybot
tom l
i
pandki
ssedhi
m andheret
urnedi
t

*
AMANDA*

MongeziandIfoughtl
astni
ghtabouttheMandl
aissue.Idon'tknowwhathappenedtohim
aft
erthedayhehitmeandwef oughtandMongeziwon'ttel
lmewhathappenedinsteadhegot
angrysonowit
'slunchandIboughtl
unchandsomeot herthi
ngsj ustt
osayIam sor
ry.Igot
i
ntohiscompanyandIwenttotherecepti
oni
st.

Me:
"Hi
"

Lady:
"hi
howmayIhel
pyou"

Me:
"Iam l
ooki
ngf
orMongezi
Qwabe'
sof
fi
ce?
"

Lady:
"theCEO?
"

Me:
"yesmyhusband'
sof
fi
ce"

Lady:
",
ohsor
ryMr
sQwabei
t'
sint
he5t
hfl
oor"

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Iwalkedtotheel
evat
orandgotin.I
twentupandpingedattheall
ocat
edfl
oorandIgotout
str
utti
ng.Ther
ewasnoPAatt hedesk.Iknockedonceandopenedthe.Of
fi
ceandIsawmy sel
f
fuming..Thi
sdrumst
ickwasall
upinmyman' sfacewit
hherdri
edhands.

Her:
"wecanmakei
toursecr
etsi
r"

452
Shesaidleaningkissi
nghisneck.HeehIam beingt
ested.It
ookoutmygunandshotthewal
l
nexttothem andthegirlj
umped.Mongezil
ookedatme. Icl
osedt
hedoorl
ocki
ngitandIt
ook
thekeysandputt hem inmybraandputthethingsIcamewi t
hhere.

Me:
"Heehwho'
smanar
eyouki
ssi
ngsi
si?"

Her:
"youal
mostki
l
ledme"

Me:
"youwoul
dhav
ebeendead."

Mongezi
:"babeputt
hegundown"

Me:
"Ey
iyoushutupaswel
l
.It
'sy
ourt
urnt
odancet
omyt
une"

Her:
"Ineedt
oleav
e"

Me:
"youwi
l
lleav
einabodybagmnt
ase"

Iwalkedt
owar
dsherpoi
nti
ngmygunather
.Shewasshaki
ngi
nfear
.Ishotnextt
oherandshe
scr
eamed.

Me:
"Youhav
eaner
ve"

Mongezi
:"i
t'
senoughnowAmanda"

Heheldmywai
standt
ookt
hegunawayf
rom meandheuncr
ockedi
tthenhet
hrewi
tont
he
couch.

Mongezi
:"got
omydeskandt
aket
hekey
sandopent
heof
fi
cedoorSandi
swa.

Sher
ushedof
fwi
tht
ear
s.

Me:
"gety
ouhandsof
fmey
ouass"

Heheldmeti
ghtandj
ustki
ssedmyl
i
ps.Imel
tedi
nhi
sar
ms.Hebr
okei
tandki
ssedmy
f
orehead.

Mongezi
:"cal
m downmygangst
erQueen"

Il
ookedathi
m andhehasasmi
rk.

Me:
"Ishoul
dki
l
lyou"

Mongezi
:"Iwoul
dnev
ercheatony
oubaby
.Bel
i
evemey
ouar
eawhol
epackage"

Me:
"(
smi
l
ing)don'
tchar
m me"

Hechuckl
ed.

453
Me:
"Ij
ustcameher
etosayIam sor
ryabouty
est
erday.Ishoul
dn'
taskaboutmyex"

Heper
ksmyl
i
ps

Mongezi
:"If
orgi
vey
oubaby"

Ihuggedhi
m andhehel
dme.Iwasr
eli
eved.

*
NOMA*

IWokeupt oabri
ghtli
ghtbli
ndingmyeyesandabangi ngheadachecamei n.Iwaswr appedin
someone'sarmsthatIdon'tknow.Il
ookedatmysur roundingsandtheyarenotmyf l
at
bedroom atal
l.Mypr i
vat
ear eawasbur
ningli
kehell
.IturnedandIwassur pr
isedtoseeNt si
ka.
WaitIsl
eptwi t
hhim.?OhmyGodno.It r i
edtogetoffhisgripbuthepull
edmecl osertohi
m
andhisthingwaspicki
ngmyback.

Nt
sika:
"it
'sst
il
lear
ly,
Sleep"

Me:
"OhmyGodwhathappened?"

Nt
sika:
"Youdon'
tremember?Gi
rly
oucangi
vei
ttoaper
son"

Me:
"geeze"

Nt
sika:
"iam ki
ddi
ngbutal
lhonest
ywedi
dhi
tit(ki
ssi
ngmyshoul
der)andi
twasf
ir
e"

Hesai
dthel
astpar
tsof
tl
ybymyear
.Huskyenoughf
ormybodyt
oreact
.

Me:
"st
opt
alki
ngNt
sika"

Nt
sika:
"why?"

Imoaned.

Me'
"youar
emaki
ngmehor
ny"

Hechuckl
ed

Nt
sika:
"sobl
unt
."

454
Ibi
tmybot t
om l
ipandt
ookmyhandandfoundhi
shardshaftandImassageditandhegroaned.
HishandwenttomyneckandIopenedmyl
egswideandtr
iedtonavi
gateitt
omyt reasur
ebut
hedidthatf
ormeanditsl
i
ppedin.

Nt
sika:
"FuckNoma"

Me:
"let
'smakei
tnost
ri
ngsat
tached"
,

Hewenti
ndeeperandIhel
dont
hesheet
str
yingnott
oscr
eam.

Nt
sika:
"deal
"

Hi
sst
rokeswer
esl
owbuthi
tal
lther
ightspot
s.

Tobecont
inued

I
nser
t70

*
XOLI
LE*

Iwaspushi
ngthet
roll
eyatChecker
swhil
emymot heri
stal
kingabouthowwecanusemychi
l
d
togetMuzi
'
sit
emsbecausewhathedi di
snotfai
r.I
t'
snotfairr
eal
lybecauseIgavemy
ever
ythi
ngt
ohim.EventhehouseLandi
swaletmestayi
nissupposedtobemi ne.

Mama:"Isaylet
'sgobackhomeandt
henwewi
l
lcont
actourpower
ful
tradi
ti
onal
heal
erand
seewhatshecando"

Iwasi
nthought
s.

455
Me:
"butmahwecan'
t.Landi
swa'
sgr
andmot
herandSengway
oar
egonnaseei
tcomi
ng."

Mama:
"wecanweakent
hei
rpower
s."

Ist
oppedt
het
rol
l
ey.

Me:
"orwecanki
l
lNt
andot
henal
lhi
smoneyandcompanywi
l
lfal
ltoMynunuber
ry"

It
ouchedmyl
i
ttl
ebump.

Mama:
"yourbr
ainwor
ksaf
teral
l"

Ismil
edandIpl
acedmyhandont
hel
i
qui
dfr
uitandanot
hermanl
yhandwashol
dingi
t.Il
ooked
up.

Hi
m:"
IguessIgoti
tfi
rst"

Me:
",y
oul
ackmanner
s.Youal
way
sgi
vei
ttoawomanespeci
all
ypr
egnant"

Hechuckl
edandt
ookt
hel
i
qui
dfr
uitbyf
orce.

Hi
m:"Noti
nSanel
eDl
ami
ni'
swor
ldNana"

Hewal
kedof
f.

Mama:
"Heeh!
!!
"

If
orgotshewasev
enher
e.Hi
sscenti
sst
il
lher
e.Hel
ooksf
ami
l
iar
.

Mama:
"let
'sgo"

It
ookt
hel
i
qui
dfr
uitandwal
kedaway
.

*
SANELE*

Iwenttopayforthel
it
tlesnacksIgot
.Ihopethegeneral
'
swi f
ewilll
iket
hese.Iwenttothe
par
kinglotandIputevery
thi
ngawayandIgotinmycaranddr oveoff.Ij
oinedtheforcewhenI
was23andwasl ivi
ngatthest r
eet
sthatt
ime.OrphanagetoorphanageandIdon'tknowwho
myparentsareandIresentthem f
orsomereasonwhydidtheymakemei fIwasgoi ngtol
ive

456
suchal if
e.Istartedwonderingwhot heyar e.IfIl
ookli
kemyf atherormother.Whent he
Orphanagekeeperf oundmei nthedust binwhenIwasy oungshef oundmybi rt
hcerti
ficateas
wellanditstatesmynameandSur name.It hinkthatwouldhel
peasi ert
ofi
ndoutwhoar emy
parents.I
ftheyar eali
veordead.Igott othel ocati
onthegeneralsenttome.Thi sismyf i
rst
ti
mebacki nSout hAfri
caaft
er10y earsofbei ngoutofthecountry.IwasinAmer i
caandIam
tr
y i
ngtogett hehangoft hi
sr i
ghtsi dedrivi
ngt echni
que.Ipar
kedmycarandIgotoutwi ththe
plasti
csandt hingsIboughtandIl ockedmycarandIknockedwi t
hmyl egsincemyhandswer e
occupied.Af airyetoldwomananswer ed.

Her:
"ohdel
i
ver
yboycomei
n,puti
tont
het
abl
eandhav
eanor
ange"

Ichuckl
ed.

Me:
"Sor
ryMahIcamet
oseeMk.
..
..
"

"SANELE"

Me:
"gener
al"

Hewal
kedt
owar
dsmeandIputt
het
hingsont
het
abl
eandwehandshook.

Me:
"Howi
sit?"

Nkonzo:
"Idi
dn'
tsl
eepl
astni
ght"

Wechuckl
ed.

Me:
"can'
twai
ttoseet
hemi
nigener
al'
s"

Hechuckl
ed.

Lady:
",
Iam MaDl
amsMf
anawam "

Shel
etoutherhandandIki
ssedi
t.

Me:
"pl
easur
etomeety
ou"

MaDl
ami
ni:
"doy
ouhav
eaf
atherwhoi
smyage?"

"Gogo!
"

Ichuckl
edwi
thNkonzohi
swi
fecamedownt
hest
air
shol
dingt
wobabi
es.Nkonzowentt
ohel
p
her.

Her:
"Ihav
ebur
pedhi
m"

Nkonzo:
"ok"

Her:
"Hi
don'
tmi
ndmygr
andmot
her
.Mynamei
sLandi
swaDl
ami
ni,
Mkhi
zenow"

457
Shesmi
l
edshewasbeaut
if
ul.

Me:
"Iam Sanel
eDl
ami
ni"

MaDl
ams:
"Awusi
bal
i
khul
u(cl
anname)whoi
syourmot
her?"

Ikeptqui
et.Icl
ear
edmyt
hroat.

Me:
"Idon'
tknowher
.Igr
ewupi
nanor
phanage.

MaDl
ams:
"Ohsor
ryei
shcr
uel
peopl
edeser
ti
ngsuchahandsomeboy"

Wel
aughed.

Landi
swa:
"Gogo.Let
'sgosi
tdown"

Me:
"Idi
dn'
tknowwhatt
obuysoIboughtnappi
esandt
reat
s"

Nkonzo:
"youwannast
eal
mywi
fe"

WelaughedandMaDlaminibr
oughtbeveragesf
orus.Thi
sseemsl
i
keawar
m home.Onet
hing
Iwi
sh.Landiswawaslooki
ngatmeal ot
.

Landi
swa:
"Iam sor
ry,
youdon'
tknowwhoy
ourpar
ent
sar
e?"

Ishookmyhead

Me:
"No"

Landi
swa:
"hav
eyout
ri
edl
ooki
ngf
ort
hem?"

Me:
"noty
et.Iwant
edust
oset
tl
eatwor
kfi
rst"

MaDl
ams:
"whati
sitLandi
swa?
"

Landi
swa:
"Not
hing.Iam j
ustaski
ng"

Theotherbabycr
iedandMaDl
ami
nist
oodupandwentupt
hest
air
sandshecamebackwi
th
anot
herbaby.

Landi
swa:
",
May
behei
shungr
y"

Me:
"canIseehi
m ?"

MaDl
ami
nigav
emet
hebaby
.

Me:
"whatar
ethei
rnames?
"

Landi
swa:
"Fanel
okuhl
e,Thandol
wet
huandQi
niso"

458
Me:
"whati
sthemeani
ngbehi
ndi
t?"

Nkonzo:
"tr
uel
ove.Fanel
uthandol
weqi
niso"

Landi
swabl
ushed.

Me.:
"That
'sr
areandbeaut
if
ul."

Ther
ewasaknockandsomeonecamei
nscr
eami
ng.

Lady:
",
wher
ear
emyGodbabi
es!
!"

Landi
swa:
"Amanda"

TheoneIwashol
dingwaspeacef
ul.

Amanda:
"ohhi
.Landi
swai
sthi
syournewbr
other?"

Guy'
:
"youwoul
dn'
trepl
acemesi
s"

Ichuckl
ed

Me:
"No"

Wehandshook.

Guy:
"Mongezi
"

Me:
"Sanel
e"

Amanda:
"canIhol
dhi
m?"

Igav
ehert
hebaby.

Amanda:
"ncooh"

Mongezi
:"l
et'
smakeone"

Amanda:
"Iseey
ouhi
ghonsomet
hing"wel
aughed.

.
tobecont
inued

I
nser
t71

459
.

_
___
__

"
Gugu(xol
i
le'
smot
her)i
t'
sbad"

Thesangomasay
sthrought
heothersi
deofthephone.Gugukeepsonchecki
ngi
fXol
i
lewon'
t
wal
kbyandshestar
tstotal
ktoNgqangit
hrought
hephone.

Gugu:"Ngqangiwhatdoy
oumeani
t'
sbadIthoughtwecov
eredourt
racksandnooneknows
weareinvol
vedsomehowont
hepri
nce'
ssuddendeath"

Ngqangi:
"hi
sancest
orsar
enothappy
.Hehasaccept
eddef
eatbutabakwaQwabehav
en'
t
.
Theyarecomi
ngforus"

Me:
"youar
epower
ful
don'
tl
ett
hisgett
ous"

Ngqangi
:"notaspowerf
ulasthechosenone.Heisthechosenoneandsoasanot
herpr
incess
i
ntheQwabeCl anwi
thoutbot
hofthem al
ive.t
hekingdom wi
llcr
umbl
e"

Me:
"Idon'
tcar
eifIj
ustgett
hei
nher
it
ance"

Ngqangi
:"di
dyougeti
t?"

Me:"helef
tmydaught
eraschol
arshi
p.Whati
sthat
?!Andhel
eftt
hatshamef
ulcousi
nofhi
s
ev
eryt
hingmydaught
erdeser
ves"

It
urnandseei
fnoonei
scomi
ng.

Ngqangi
:"hayihayiungadl
akel
ingal
aphoGugu.Unamandlal
oyamnt
anauy
enaokhet
hiwe(no!
No!Don'
tplayhere.Sheispowerf
ult
hatchi
l
d.Sheisthechosen"

Gugu:
"Idon'
tcar
e"

Ngqangi :
"wehav
etomakesureher
eached6mont hsi
nt hegrav
et hensohecandie
completel
yandhi
ssoul
leav
etheear
th.Ifi
treachesthen.Thatgir
lwi l
ldi
easwell
causeher
purposeiswi
thhi
m.Theyneedtodoitt
ogether.That'
swhyoneoft hem di
est
heotherwi
ll
fol
l
ow"

Gugu:
"ok.Usey
ourThi
ngst
omakesur
enot
radi
ti
onal
heal
erknowst
hat"

Ngqangi
:"ok.Wewi
l
ltal
k"

Shehangupandsi
ghed.

460
Gugu:
"ev
ery
thi
ngbel
ongt
ous.Ican'
tgodownwi
thoutaf
ight
."

_
___
___
_

Ir
anmyf
inger
sthr
ought
hewat
erandt
hewhol
ethi
ngdi
sappear
ed.Iwentdownonmybum .

Me:
"BoDl
ami
niSi
bal
i
khul
uhi
mleheni
ngi
boni
saYona(Whatar
eyoushowi
ngt
ome?
)"

It
ookmyphoneandIcal
l
edSengway
o.I
t'
satMi
dni
ghti
knowbutt
hisneedst
obeat
tended

Sengway
o:"MaDl
ami
ni?"

Me:"Usuboni
sil
enabaphansi
abakwaQwabe?
(Hav
eyouconsul
tedwi
tht
heQwabe
Ancest
ors?
)"

Sengway
o:"Chaakuv
eli
lut
ho(Not
hingshows)
"

Me:"weneedLandiswat
oconnectwi
thMuzi
.Heisnotdeadhi
sspi
ri
tisr
oami
ngbecauset
he
Qwabe'
sarenothappywi
thhi
sdeath.Hei
sthechosenonewit
hLandi
swa"

Sengway
o:"Iknowt
heyar
ethechosenonesf
ort
heki
ngdom."

Me:
"sensedt
obef
astorl
andi
swawi
l
ldi
e"

Sengway
o:"Gosl
eepandIwi
l
lbei
ncont
actwi
thmyancest
ors"

Me:
"angi
zl
i(Iam notsl
eepy)
"

Sengway
o:"y
ekai
khandael
i
qini
l
eMaDl
ami
ni.(St
opbei
ngst
ubbor
nMaDl
ami
ni)
"

Isi
ghedandhungupandIst
art
edpr
ayi
ng.

*
NKONZO*

Iki
ssedthei
rcheeksandt ookthebabymonitorandwentt othenurseryandIcheckedi
nmy
boysandIwalkedout.Lisembowi l
ll
ookli
kehermot herIhope.Ireall
ymi ssedbei
nghomebutI
knowsoonIwi l
lhavetoleaveandgot oCapetownfortwoweeksbef orecomi ngbackf
ora
weekthenofftoRussia.Iwakkdownt hest
airsandwenttomyst udyandt heywer
ealr
eady
devour
ingmywhi sky
.Ihav en'
tseenMuzisi
nceIcameback.

461
Nt
sika:
"Ihi
titahundr
edt
imes.Fucki
t'
sbeensol
ongsi
nceaguyr
eleasedl
i
ket
hat"

Sanel
elaughed.

Sanel
e:"y
ougo.Shaggi
ngr
oyal
ty"

Nt
sika:
"Li
ket
hat"

Me:
"whoar
eyout
alki
ngabout?"

Theybot
hkeptqui
et.

Me:
"ngat
hul
amanj
e(y
ouar
equi
etnow)
"

Nt
sika:
"howi
sitbei
ngaf
ather?
"

Me:
"askBabahewi
l
ltel
lyou"

Isatdownandr
est
edmyheadonmychai
rcl
osi
ngmyey
es.

Nt
sika:
"youl
ookt
ir
ed"

Me:
"(
openi
ngmyey es)Iam t
ir
ed.I
t'
sli
ket
heycamewi t
hawhistl
eandIcan'tsl
eepf
ormor
e
t
han3hours.Landi
swaistur
ningmeonthi
sside.Thi
sist
ort
urethanducki
nggunshot
s"

Theyl
aughed.

Sanel
e:"y
ourwi
fei
swel
comi
ng"

Nt
sika:
"Phel
aNkonzoi
sGabhadi
yamyman(Nkonzoi
sthebossmyman)
"

Il
ookedathi
m.

Sanel
e:"t
hissoundsi
nter
est
ing"

Nt
sika:
"Thatusedt
obehi
sbest
fri
end'
sgi
rl
fr
iend,
theyshaggedandl
ovedeachot
her
."

Sanel
e:"Oooh"

Hel
aughed

Me:
"Hav
eyouconsi
der
edbei
ngawi
fey
our
sel
f?"

Ntsika:"Buti
t'
str
uemos.Anywayt
urnsoutt
hatLandi
swai
sfami
l
ytot
heexboy
fri
endt
hatone.
Shithappenedandnowheisnomore"

Sanel
e:"Dangwhatki
l
ledhi
m ?"

Me:
"Nomor
e?"

462
Isatup.

Nt
sika:
"Ohshi
t!"

Ibangedt
het
abl
est
andi
ngup.

Me:
"whathappenedt
oMuzi
?"

Nt
sika:
"Iam sor
ryman.Hedi
ed4mont
hsago"

If
eltmyear
sheat
ingup.

Me:
"andy
oudi
dn'
ttel
lme?"

Sanel
e:"hehasagoodr
eason.Hedi
dn'
twanty
out
obedi
str
act
ed"

Me:
"Bul
l
shi
t!"

Iwal
kedoutbangi
ngthedoor
.Muzican'
tbedead.Notbef
orehebecomesmybestman.Igot
i
nthebedr
oom andIbangedt
hedoorandthr
ewthebabymonitoront
opoft
hebed.

Landi
swa:"(
waki
ngup)wal
wanesi
gcabhasi
kwenzeni
?(Youar
efi
ght
ingwi
tht
hedoor
.What
di
ditdotoyou)
"

Shestoodupandwalkedoutwi
thLi
semboandIsati
nthebed.I
tcoul
dn'
tsi
nki
n.Shecame
backandclosedt
hedoorandcr
ouchedi
nfr
ontofme.

Landi
swa:
"babyt
alkt
ome"

Me:
"wer
eyougonnat
ell
met
hatMuzi
isdead?"

Shecl
osedherey
es.

Landi
swa:
"Iwassi
ncey
ouar
ebackbuti
tsl
i
ppedmymi
nd.
"

Me:
"isher
eal
l
ydead?"

Landi
swa:
"Idi
dn'
twannabel
i
evei
tunt
ilIsawhi
minsi
det
hecasketgoi
ngdown."

Icl
osedmyey
esandcl
enchedmyj
awsandt
ear
sbur
nedmyey
es.Shehuggedme.

Landi
swa:
"Iam sor
rysnuggl
es.Idon'
tknowhowy
ouf
eel
"

Ihuggedherbackassher
ubbedmybackandt
ear
slef
tmyey
es.

Landi
swa:
"snuggl
es'
"

Il
aidonthebedonmybackandj
usthel
dherall
thememoriesIhadwi
thMuzicamefl
oodi
ng
back.I
tsli
kethet
imeIl
ostmymotherwaybef
oreIknewher.Shewascr
yingaswel
l
.

463
Landi
swa:
"Il
ovey
ouSnuggl
es"

Icl
ear
edmyt
hroatandki
sst
het
opofherhead.Myhear
twasbr
okenat
housandt
imes.

*
NOMAZULU*

Twoassi gnment
s.Ihavetwoassignmentsduenextweek.Godj
usttakemenow.Iwal kedof
f
mylastlectur
eandIwenttothepar ki
ngl
ottogotomycarIneedtobeseriousnowandMake
Muziproudwhereverheis.Istoppedmyt r
ackswhenIfoundhi
mleaningbyhiscarnextto
mine.IfrownedandIwalkedtomycar .

Nt
sika:
"Hawunohel
l
oki
ssorhug"

Me:
"Iam y
ourf
uckbuddyt
hat
'sal
l,don'
tgett
ooahead"

Nt
sika:
"don'
tyoumi
ssme?"

Me:
"Ihav
e2assi
gnment
stodot
hatIam behi
ndi
n.Idon'
tneedy
ourdi
str
act
ion"

Nt
sika:
"Icankeepy
oucompany"

Me:
"No"

Nt
sika:
"cal
lmet
henwheny
ouneedme"

Hewi
nkedandki
ssedmyf
oreheadandgoti
nhi
scar
.Igoti
nmi
neandIdr
oveof
f.
"

Tobecont
inued

I
nser
t72

464
.

*
NOMAZULU*

Igottomyfl
atandIthrewmybagont hecouchandIwenttomybedroom andItookoffmy
shoesandIwentt
ot akemylaptopbag.Iwanttogetmyassignmentsdoneinjustafewday
s.
MyphonerangintheloungeandItookitandIanswer
editwhi
leopeni
ngmyl aptop.

Me:
"hel
l
o"

Mom :
"am Il
oosi
ngy
oubaby?"

Isi
ghed

Me:
"Hi
mom "

Ist
oodupandwenttotheki
tchencupboar
dandIt
ookoutmywhi
skyst
ash.
it
'smuchst
ronger
andIopenedi
tandgul
pedfr
om there.

Mom :
"howar
eyoubaby?"

Me:
"Iam goodmamahowar
eyou?"

Shesi
ghed.

Mom :
"Iam copi
ng."

Me:
"that
'sgood"

Mom :
"It
hinky
oushoul
dgot
other
apyy
oudon'
ttal
ktome"

That
'sbecauseIusedt
otal
ktoMuzi
aboutmyev
ery
thi
ng.

Me:
"NoIam f
inemom "

Ther
ewasaknockont
hedoor
.

Mom :
"Iwon'
tacceptt
hatNomay
ouar
enot"

Me:
"Isai
dIam f
ineMom!
"

Shebecamesi
l
entandIopenedt
hedoor
.Idr
ankmywhi
skyandhepushedmeoutoft
heway.

465
Me:
"Iwi
l
lcal
lyoul
ater"

Mom :
"ok"

Iswi
tchedof
f.

Me:
"whatt
hef
uck?Isai
dIwantt
obeal
one"

Nt
sika:
"Youal
onewi
thoutdr
inki
ng.Yeahr
ightIam goi
ngt
ocl
eart
hatout"

Me:
"don'
tyouhav
eagi
rl
fr
iendorsomet
hing?"

Nt
sika:
"act
ual
l
yIdo.Hernamei
sKamogel
o"

Ir
oll
edmyey
es.

Me:
"yeahr
ight
."

Het
ookouthi
sPhoneandshowedmeapi
ctur
eofabeaut
if
ulgi
rl
.Thi
ckgi
rl
.

Nt
sika:
"That
'smyf
iance.Iam goi
ngt
oseehert
omor
row"

Me:
"Got
oday"

Nt
sika:
"NoIwannaspendsomet
imewi
thmysi
dechi
ck."

Ipushedhi
sfeetfr
om mycof
feet
ableandIwentt
otakemyl
apt
opandsatnextt
ohi
m whi
l
ehe
openedapacketofchi
ps.Hi
sphonerang.

Me:
"swi
tcht
hatt
hingof
f"

Nt
sika:
"It
'sKamo"

Hest
oodup.Il
ookedathi
m.

Nt
sika:
"Baby"

Hewassi
l
entsbi
t.

Nt
sika:
"Shi
tIam comi
ng!"

Hehungupandt
ookhi
scarkey
s.

Me:
"thankGod"

Nt
sika:
"Iwi
l
lbebacksoon"

Hewal
kedout
.Suchanui
sance.Iwentbackt
oty
pingmywor
k.

466
.

*
LANDI
SWA*

Aft
ersol
ong.Nkonzof
inal
l
yslept.Theseday
shesl
eepsshor
tl
ylike3HoursbutIam gl
adhe
hassl
ept
.Ileani
ntoperkhisl
ipsandheholdsmyneckandopenshisey
es.

Nkonzo:
"Babydon'
tscar
emel
i
ket
hat"

Hel
etsgoofmyneckandIsi
tup.Hedi
dn'
thol
dmet
hatst
rongbutIf
eel
li
kehel
eftamar
k.

Me:
"Iwasj
ustgi
vi
ngy
ouaki
ss"

Nkonzo:
"Iam sor
rycomecl
ose"

Hesatupandpul
l
edmet
ohi
slapandki
ssedmycheek.

Nkonzo:
"Il
ovey
ou."

Me:
"Il
ovey
oumor
e"

Hecl
ear
edhi
sthr
oat
..Il
ookedathi
m.

Me:
"howar
eyouf
eel
i
ngnow?
"

Nkonzo:
"Idon'
tknow."

Inodded.

Me:
"Iam her
efory
ou"

Nkonzo:
"Iknowbaby"

Iki
ssedhi
schest
.

Nkonzo:
"Ineedt
oleav
eagai
nint
woweekst
ime"

Isatupandl
ookedathi
m.

Me:
"youj
ustcamebackandt
heki
dsar
eyoung"

Nkonzo:
"IknowbabybutIwi
l
lbebackaf
tert
hreeweeks."

Me:
"Mxm"

467
Igotof
fhi
sgr
ipandgotof
fthebedandhegotof
ftoo.

Nkonzo:
"Landi
swa"

Me:
"ist
hisourl
i
fe?Youupandl
eav
ingev
erynowandt
hen"

Hel
ooksatme.

Nkonzo:
"Iam t
hebossnowbaby
.Iam t
hegener
al"

Me:
"No!Youar
eahusbandandf
atherbef
orey
ourwor
k."

Nkonzo:
"Iknowbabybutt
hewor
ldneedsme"

Hewal
kscl
osert
ome.

Me:
"Don'
ttouchme"

Hekeepsonwal
ki
ng.

Nkonzo:
"babyy
ougott
ounder
stand"

Me:
"Ihav
etokeeponunder
standi
ng"

Nkonzo:
"Iknowi
t'
shar
d"

Me:"doy ouknowhowhar diti

stosleepwithoutyourhusbandinbedforfourmonths.Doy ou
knowhowhar ditist
owishIcouldj
ustcallyouandheary ourdeepannoyi
ngv oi
ce.Doy ou
knowhowhar ditist
ogothroughpregnancyalone?Doy ouknowhowhar di ti
stolayin
hospit
alandthinkhowy oualmostl
ostyourkidsduet ostressofyounotbeinghere.I
fyouare
eati
ngorsleepingornotevendeadcomi ngbackwi t
hacasket.Doy ou?Youdon' tsodon'ttel
l
meabouthar dshipsNkonzo"

Iwal
kedoutt
hedoorwi
tht
ear
sinmyey
es.

Tobecont
inued.

I
nser
t73

468
.

*
LANDI
SWA*

Iwaswatchi
ngTi
tani
cwhil
eholdi
ngQini
soinmyar ms.Hewastheonl
yoneawake.I
cecr
eam
onthesi
deandti
ssuesev
erywher
e.Ihadjustf
ini
shedf
eedi
nghi
m hi
sbott
le.

Me:
"whyi
stheTi
tani
csi
nki
ng?
"

Whyismyhear tsi
nki
ng.?That
sther
ealquesti
on.Il
ookedatQi
nisoandsmil
ed.Helooksj
ust
l
ikeNkonzo.Soadorabl
e.Iper
kedhi
sforeheadandhi
ssqui
rmedf r
om mycol
dlips.

Me:
",
sor
rybaby,
Ilov
eyou"

Il
ookedupt
othest
air
sandNkonzowassi
tt
ingi
nthemi
ddl
eoft
hem l
ooki
ngatus.

Nkonzo:
"canwet
alk?"

Ikeptqui
etandhecamedownt herestoft
hestai
rsandsatnextt
ousandtookQi
nisof
rom my
handsandhelai
dhim on.Hi
schest.Hekissedhi
sforeheadandl
ookedatme.

Nkonzo:"(
sigh)Iam sor
ry,
thi
sishar
donmeaswel
lLandi
swa.Leav
ingy
ouguy
sisnotni
ce
aswell"

Ikeptqui
et.Iwantt
ounder
stand.

Nkonzo:
"pl
easet
alkt
ome"

Me:
"Idon'
tknowwhatt
osay
.It
'si
mpor
tantt
oyou.Peopl
eneedy
ou"

Nkonzo:
"comeher
e"

Il
aidonhi
schest

Nkonzo:"youknowIhaveneverl
ovedmyli
fe.Ijustl
ovedi
tformebutnow.NowIhav eyou
andourcreat
ions.Ourmini
usandIam l
ovi
ngi t.Meeti
ngyouwasthebestt
hingt
hathasever
happenedinmyl i
fe."

Il
ookedathi
m wi
tht
ear
sinmyey
es.

Nkonzo:
"il
ovey
ou"

Me:
"Il
ovey
out
ooBabydaddy"

469
Hechuckl
edandsatupanIal
sodi
d.Heswi
tchedof
fthet
v

Me:
"Thepar
twher
eJackwhat
everhei
sdi
esi
scomi
ng"

Nkonzo:
"Idon'
twanty
oucr
yingov
eranot
herman"

Il
aughed

Me:
"jeal
ousysui
tsy
oubaby"

Hef
rownedandwewentupt
hest
air
stoourbedr
oom.

*
PALESA*

Me:
"GodNt
andol
ooky
oumessedmyt
-shi
rtup"

Hewasspitt
inghisfoodevery
where,IgroanedandItookoffmytopandputi tonthecounter
andtr
iedt
ofeedhi m agai
nandhebehaved.Ifini
shedupandIgothim outofhisfeedingchai
r
andputhi
mi nhiswalkerandhewalkedaround.Icl
eanedtheki
tchenti
llIf
eltapresenceof
someonebehindmeandIl ookedbackanditwasNdaba.

Ndaba:
"Idi
dn'
tknowt
hatwewer
ecl
eani
ngnakedt
oday"

Me:
"yoursonmessedmeup"

Hechuckl
edandcamecl
oset
ome.

Ndaba:
"wel
lIl
i
kei
t."

Hebendedhi
sheaddown.

Ndaba:
"wheni
sLandi
swaandNkonz
odoi
ngt
hei
rcer
emonysoweandoour
s"

Me:"ohshecal
ledy
ester
dayandsaidwecangoahead.Appar
entl
yNt
sikai
sEngaged.Shesai
d
t
heywil
ldoaluncht
hingti
ll
theydeci
dedt
odotheactualev
entso"

Ndaba:
"ok,
gogetdr
essedsoIcant
akey
ouout"

470
Me:
"Ican'
tsaynot
othat"

Ndaba:
"Ohandst
artsear
chi
ngf
orourhome.Any
thi
ngy
oul
i
ke."

Me:
",r
eal
l
y?"

Iwasf
eel
i
nghappy.Heper
kedmyl
i
ps.

Ndaba:
"yesbaby
"

Iwasbehi
ndt
hewor
dhappynow.Iki
ssedhi
m.

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Hesmi
l
ed.

Aweekl
ater

*
NTSI
KA*

Me:
"Fucky
ouknowy
ourshi
t!"

Isai
dwhiletr
yingtocat
chmybreat
hwhi
l
elay
ingnextt
oherandshegotonmeandi
nser
tedmy
cockinhershekissedmyl
i
ps.

Noma:
"wheni
t'
sfuni
t'
ssupposedt
obemi
ndbl
owi
ng"

Shewasmov
ingupanddownsl
owl
ywhi
l
etr
yingt
oti
eherhai
rback.Ihel
dhert
inywai
st.

Me:
"iti
s."

Noma:
"let
'
shav
efunt
hen"

Sheincr
easedherpaceandweshar edakiss.Thi
saf f
airthi
ngwasonet hi
ngIli
ked.Shekeptit
prof
essi
onalbutt
hat'
showt heyal
lstar
tri
ght.Thisismyf i
rstt
imecheati
ngonKamobef ore
andIwouldn'
tsayi
t'
scheati
ng.Justhavi
nghar mlessfun.Webot hcameandshegotof f!
eandI
di
sposedthecondom andshewantt ot
hebat hr
oom andt ookashower.ItookmyphoneandI

471
hav
e3mi
ssedcal
l
sfr
om Kamo.Ical
lher
.

Me:
"baby"

Kamo:
"wehav
eanappoi
ntmentwi
tht
heweddi
ngpl
anneri
nanhour"

Me:
"yeahIr
emember"

Li
es.If
orgot.

Kamo:
"ok.Il
ovey
ou.Papar
ecei
vedt
hel
ett
erf
rom y
ourhome"

Me:
"youar
eheadi
ngt
her
eWednesday?"

Kamo:
"yesIam.Ei
shbabyIhav
etogo.Il
ovey
ou"

Me:
"Il
ovey
oumor
e"

IhangupandNomacameoutdr
essedandt
ookherbag.

Me:
",y
ounoteat
ing"

Noma:
"thi
sisst
ri
ctl
yfuckandnot
hingel
se.Ihav
etor
emi
ndy
ou"

Me:
",y
oudi
dn'
thav
etobeapussyabouti
t."

Noma:
"youshoul
dn'
tbecat
chi
ngf
eel
i
ngMkhi
ze"

Me:
"Iam not
.Il
ovemyf
iance"

Noma:
"what
ever"

ShewavedherhandandIsawawri
stcutoni
tandshebangedt
hedoorwal
ki
ngout
.Shehas
bi
gissuest
hisoneandIneedt
ohel
pher.

*
NOMA*

ur
ghNt
sikai
sir
ri
tat
ingf
orr
eal
,wehadanagr
eementbuthei
sact
ingl
i
keanaggi
ngwi
fe.Igot

472
i
nmycarandIopenedmybagandl ookedatt hepacketofcoke. Ishooki tacoupl
eofti
mes
beforeItookoutmyt ext
bookandIspill
edsomenofi tonmyt extbook.Itastedi
tandImoaned
i
npl easure.This.Nowthi
sisheav
en.Iscr uffedi
nsideandItookoutmycar dandaR100paper
andIr ol
leditandthencutt
hecokeinfourlines.Isniff
edittwiceandIlaidbackonmyseatas
thefeeli
ngwasni ce.XXXTent
ionwaspl ay
ingt hr
oughthesteri
oandIt ookt womoreli
nes
beforeIputev er
ythi
ngawayandstart
eddriv i
ngtoTopst obuymor eHennessy.

Tobecont
inued.

I
nser
t74

*
NOMA*

"
Memy
sel
fandI

That
'sal
lIgoti
ntheend

That
'swhatIf
oundout

Andi
tai
n'
tnoneedt
ocr
y

It
ookav
owt
hatf
rom nowon

I
'
m gon'
bemyownbestf
ri
end

473
(
Igotme,
mysel
fandI
)

Iknowt
hatIwi
l
lnev
erdi
sappoi
ntmy
sel
f

(
Imusthav
ecr
iedat
housandt
imes)

Al
lthel
adi
es,
ify
ouf
eel
me,
hel
pmesi
ngi
tout

(
Ican'
tregr
ett
imespentwi
thy
ou)

Yeah,
youhur
tme,
butIl
ear
nedal
otal
ongt
heway

(
Sti
l
l,I
'
m aboutt
omakei
tthr
ough)

Af
teral
lther
ain,
you'
l
lseet
hesuncomeoutagai
n!"

Ikeptonpl ayingt hesongonr epeat .Whoel sehav eIgotthanmy sel

f.Ihavet olookoutfor
my sel
fcauseIcan' tdependmypai nonany onebutmy sel
f.Ikickedthecanst othesideandI
wenttot hekit
chenandIt ooktheblackpl asticbag.Amandawant edustodol unchwiththe
gir
lstodaysoIhav e30mi nut
estogett here.Icl eanedabi tandt henIgoandt akeacold
showersoIam t ipsyat l
east.AfterthatIwentt ot akeoutthecokeanddi d4linesandIsni f
fed
them al
l andrubbedmynosecausei twasi t
chingabi tandickeanedupandwentt ogetdressed
i
nshor tswithacr opt opandjacketswitht highhighboot sandtiedmyafrointoabun.It ook
outmyf oxlocks.It ookmybagandIwal kedoutoft hehouse.

"Nomadon'
tdot
hist
oyour
sel
f"

It
urnedandi
twasnoone.

"Noma"

It
urnedagai
n.

Me:
"whoi
scal
l
ingme?"

Noone.Igotinmycaranddr ov
eofft
oNkonzo'
shouse.IcouldseecarsparkedandIthought
i
t'
sjustusbutnahIguesstheycametoseet
hebabies.IgotoutandIwalkedinsi
dethehouse.
Iwasmetbycr y
ingandtal
kingandi
mmediat
elygotaheadache.Amandajumpedt ohugme.

Amanda:
"heyI
AM sohappyt
oseey
ou"

Ismi
l
ed.

Me:
"met
oo.Wher
ear
ethemunchi
es?"

474
Landi
swa:
"Iam sohappyt
oseey
ou"

Me:
"Amandasai
dthat
.Andy
oul
ookl
i
key
oudi
dn'
tgi
vebi
rt
htot
hreeki
dsatal
l"

Shebl
ushed.

Amanda:
"Iwoul
dsayNkonzoi
smaki
ngherexer
cisebutnahi
t'
snothappeni
ng."

Pal
esa:
"Babi
es"

Shecr
ushedmei
nahug.

Pal
esa:
"wowy
oul
ookdi
ff
erent"

Landi
swa:
"yeahy
oudo"

Me:
"Iguesst
hat
'sgood"

Amanda:
"andwhendi
dyougetat
att
oo?
"

Landi
swa:
"comemeetKamo,
Ntsi
ka'
sfi
anceandNkonzo'
sfr
iendSanel
e.Hopey
oul
ovehi
m"

Shewi
nksandIsmi
l
e.Whenwer
eacht
heguy
sandGogo.Gogof
rownsi
mmedi
atel
y.

Me:
"Hi
gogo"

Gogo:
"ohcomeher
e"

Igottoherandshehuggedme.Iwast
empt
edt
ocr
ybecauseofherwar
mthnessbutIdar
ed
notto.

Gogo:
"Hei
snothappyy
ouar
edi
str
oyi
ngy
our
sel
f."

Buti
tpr
ovest
obedi
ff
icul
tbecauseIl
ett
het
ear
sfal
l
.

Me:
"Kubuhl
ungu(
ithur
ts)
"

Ev
ery
onewassi
l
entasshecr
adl
edme.

Me:"Iwanthi
m her
egogo.Whydidheleav
eme?Iwant
edhi
mtowalkmedownt heaisl
eone
dayandhi
tmyhusbandfori
mpr
egnat
ingmeonedaywhi
l
eIcr
ybutIwon'
tshar
ethose
momentswithhi
m"

Gogo:
"hewil
linspi
ri
t.Hewant
stor
est
.Her
eal
l
ywant
stoandt
her
eisnot
hingwecandoand
makehimrest"

Landi
swahel
dherbabycl
oset
oher
.Gogost
oodupwi
thme."

Gogo:
"Nkonzoaf
tert
hispar
tyt
akehert
orehab.Yambonaunj
ani
(dohouseshowshei
s?)"

475
Nkonzo:
"Iwi
l
ltakehernow"

Gogo:
"lat
er."

Shewal
kedwi
them t
oherr
oom andt
uckedmei
nwi
thher
.

*
XOLI
LE*

Mymot herhasbeenabi
tdist
ancetheredaysandIwant
edust
oseei
fwewi
l
lst
il
lpl
ant
heki
l
l
yetornot.Isnappedmyfi
ngersi
nfrontofher
.

Me:
"mama"
,

Mom :
"Mmmh"

Me:
",whyi
swr
ong?"

Mom :
"ngani
?,
(Wi
thwhat
?)",

Me:
",
,
youseem di
str
act
ed"

Mom :
"leav
emeal
oneXol
i
lewhi
l
eIdot
hingsf
ory
ou"

Shecli
ckedhert
ongueandwal
kedout
.Hawuwhatdi
dIdonow.Asmal
lwi
ndpassedbyt
he
ki
tchen.

"Thet
imewi
l
lcomef
ory
ourendXol
i
le."

It
urnedandt
her
ewasnot
hingbutIf
eltchi
l
lsdownmyspi
ne.Ihel
dmyst
omach

Me:
"whoar
eyou?
"

Her
ewassi
l
enceonceagai
n.

476
.

Tobecont
inued

I
nser
t75

*XOLI
LE*

IWentt
otheloungeandwentthrought
hechannelsandjustwatchedsomeTVwhil
eeat
ing.I
am r
eal
l
ygainingweightandi
tsli
keIam gonnagi
vebir
thanytimesoon.Mom comesdownthe
st
air
sal
lni
ceandcl eanandIfr
ownather.

Me:
"wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?"

Mom:
"Home.Ineedt
otakecar
eofsomet
hings."

Me:
"whatar
ethoset
hings?"

Mom:
"ngi
mdal
aXol
i
le(Iam ol
dert
hany
ou)
"

IkeptQui
et.

Mom :
"Ihav
etol
eav
e.Makesur
eyoueatwel
landdon'
tl
ett
hatCousi
ngi
rlst
epov
ery
ou"

Me:
"Iwon'
t.By
e,Iwi
l
lmi
ssy
ou"

Shesmil
esandwal
ksout.IchangethechannelandIwat
chyest
erday
'sepi
sodeofscandal
that
Imisswhent
hetvj
ustswit
chedoff.Il
ietheremotedown.

Me:
"may
bei
t'
ssomef
use."

Istooduptogoandcheckatthekit
chenont hemainswitchanever
ythi
ngwasok.Iwent
outsi
deandther
easwell.That
's.Wei
rd.Iwentbackinsi
deandmusicwasplayi
ng.That'
sweir
d.
Igottothel
oungesl
owlyandmyf oodwasn'tther
eany morebutt
herewasbl
oodwr i
ti
ngonthe
fl
oor.

477
"Yout
ouchmypeopl
eyout
ouchme"

That
'swhati
tsai
dbef
oreav
oicef
oll
owed

"
Xol
i
le,
Xol
i
le,
Timei
srunni
ngout"

Ir
anoutoft
hehousescar
edandIwentonmykneesont
hedr
ivewayshaki
ngandIst
art
ed
pr
ayi
ng

*
NOMA*

Therewassi
lenceinthecar.Iwastheonl
ygir
landtherewasMongezi,
NkonzoandNt
sika
dri
vi
ngmet orehab.Ireal
l
ydon'tneedi
tbutIam cr
avingf
ormoreCoke.

Me:
"Ther
eisnot
hingwr
ongwi
thme."

Mongezi
:"af
terwhatgogosai
dIam notbuy
ingi
t"

Me:
"si
gnmeupf
ort
her
apybutnotr
ehab"

Nt
sika:
"ther
ehabf
aci
l
itypr
ovi
desbot
hrehabi
l
itat
ionandTher
apy.
"

Me:
"coul
dyouj
ustshutup?Iam nott
alki
ngt
oyou"

Nkonzo:
"Noma!
"

Hescol
dedmeandIf
rowned.

Me:
"JustknowIwi
l
lcommi
tsui
cidet
hist
ime."

Mongezi
:"t
henl
et'
stakey
out
oament
ali
nst
it
uti
onandj
oiny
ourf
ri
ends"

Me:
"youcan'
tbeser
ious"

Nkonzot
urnedt
hecarar
oundandMongezi
typedont
hegps.

"
In10m t
urnl
eft"

478
I
tsai
d.Il
ookedatNt
sikawhowasnextt
ome.

Me:
"dosomet
hingNt
sika"

Nt
sika:
"angi
niy
ousai
dImustshutup.Sol
etmeshutupi
npeace"

Ihi
thi
schest
.

Me:
"Nxdi
ck"

Ther
ewassi
l
ence.I
twasdar
know.If
elthi
shandonmyt
highandhi
swar
m ai
rdownmyneck.

Nt
sika:
"Youl
ovet
hisdi
ck"

Hewhisper
edandIpushedhi
m ashechuckl
edandNkonzol
ookedatust
hrought
her
evi
ew
mir
ror
.

Me:
"canwegohome.Iwill
li
vewi
thoneofy
'al
landy
oucanmoni
tormeandt
akemet
o
t
her
apy.Ihav
eschool
youknow"

Theyal
ll
ookedateachot
hert
hinki
ng.

Nkonzo:
"Ithi
nki
fyoustayy
ouwi l
lhav
etol
i
vewi
thMongezi
becausewet
rav
elal
ot.Ican'
t
monit
oryouandyoucantwi
stLandi
swa"

Me:
"Haahbhut
iMongezi
isscar
y",

"
In500m t
urnr
ight"

Thel
adysai
d.

Mongezi
:"uf
unani
hehNoma?
(whatdoy
ouwant
?)"
,

Ikeptqui
etandt
heyst
oppedt
hecarandl
ookedatme.

"I
n400m t
urnr
ight."

Thel
adykeptonr
epeat
ingt
hat
.

Nt
sika:
"Youonsomebul
l
shi
tpi
l
lIsee"

Me:
"Fucky
ouok"

Mongezi
:"Iwi
l
lhi
tyou,
youwon'
tbel
i
eve."

Iswal
l
owed.Hewasscar
ynow.Isi
ghed.Ev
enNkonzo'
slookwasspi
nechi
l
li
ng

Me:
"Iwi
l
lgowi
thy
ou"

Mongezi
:"Goodnowshuty
ourbi
gcocksucki
ngmout
handl
et'
sgo"

479
Ikeptqui
ett
hecarst
art
edgoi
ngagai
n.

Mongezi:
"yougotoschoolandcomehome.Iwil
lcheckever
ydayi
fyouarecleanandy
ouwi
l
l
got
ot her
apy.Fai
lTodothoseandIwi
l
ltr
eatyouli
key ouhav
eamentaldi
sease"

Hel
ookedatmewhenhesai
dthel
astpar
tandIj
ustkeptqui
et.

*
LANDI
SWA*

Nkonzocamebackl at eandhel ookedt i

red.Iam al soti
redthismor ning.Thekidsbecomea
choiratnightandsinghor r
ibl
emel odiest ous.Gogohel pedmeher eandt hereandsoas
NkonzobutIt oldhi
mt ogoandsl eep.Iwokeupwi thmyneckhur ti
ngasbi tsi
nceIsleptonthe
rockingchairandIgotoutoft henur seryandt heywer esil
ent.Iwentt othemast erbedroom
andwentt ot akeashower .Nkonzowasst i
llasleepandhei susual l
yupf ir
stthesedays.AfterI
wasdone.Iwor ealeggi ngswithNkonzo' st-shirtandsockswi thflopsandIwentoutt othe
nursery.IwokeLi sembof i
rstandIbat hedher .Shewasqui et.AfterthatIdressedherup
warml yandIf edherandputherdownandhesl eptagai
n.Didt hesamewi thThandoandQi ni
so
andt henIleftthem ther etosleepwhi leItookt hebabymoni torandIwentdownst air
sandgogo
andMaZul uwer edrinkingtea.

Me:
",
mor
ning"

MaZul
u:"mor
ningmychi
l
d."

Gogo:
"yourl
i
ttl
ewhi
stl
eswer
ebr
eaki
ngmyear
slastni
ght"

Il
aughedandmadebreakfast
.Theywer
eatt
hedi
ningr
oom andIwasatt
heki
tchen.I
twas
openplansoIcoul
dseethem.

Me:
"Mahst
opcal
l
ingmyki
dswhi
stl
i
ng"

MaZul
ulaughed.It
ookoutal
lthatneededt
omakebr
eakf
astf
ormyhusband.

Gogo:
"Mxm.Theyar
eli
key
ou"

Me:
"Theyar
emi
nenj
e"

480
Imadesomebreakfast
.Iwast
ryi
ngthesausagesandsqueezi
ngf
reshor
angej
uicewhen
somet
hingwhi
sperednextt
omyearandIcl
osedmyey es.

"Iwantpeace.Ineedpeace"

I
t'
sli
kesomet
hingheav
ywaswei
ghi
ngonmyshoul
der
s.

Me:
"Muzi
?"

Ther
ewassi
l
ent
.Iknowi
twashi
m.Hi
saur
agav
eaway
.

"Wehav
etobesepar
ated.
Iwantpeace"

Gogo:
"whati
swr
ongLandi
swa"

If
eltabi
tbet
ter.

Me:"I
sit
hunzisaMuziKadesi
l
ah.Uf
unaukul
alangokut
hul
a(Muzi
'
spr
esencewasher
e.He
want
ssor esti
npeace)"

Gogo:
"Oh"

InoddedandNkonzowal
kedi
n.

Me:
"youj
ustr
uinedbr
eakf
asti
nbed"

Hechuckl
edandhel
dmef
rom behi
ndandpeakedov
erwhatIam doi
ng.

Nkonzo:
"Smel
l
sni
ce,
Sani
bonani
"

Them :
"Hel
l
o"

Theyst
oodupandwentt
othel
ounge.

Nkonzo:
"Imi
ssedy
oui
nbedy
est
erday"

Me:
"theki
dswer
eonachoi
rmode"

hechuckl
ed

Nkonzo:
"af
terbr
eakf
astgoandr
est"

Me:
"butIst
il
lneedt
odoal
ot"

Nkonzo:
"wecanhandl
eev
ery
thi
ng.Resty
ouneedi
t."

It
urnedt
ohi
m andgi
vehi
m aper
k.

Me:
"Il
ovey
ou"

481
Nkonzo:
"Il
ovey
oumor
e"

Hewr
appedhi
sar
msar
oundmywai
st.

Nkonzo:
"Iam goi
ngt
oseeMuzi
'
slawy
ert
oday"

Me:
"howdoy
ouf
eel
?"

Nkonzo:
"(smi
l
ing)
Iwi
l
lbeokwi
thy
ou,
j
ustcan'
tbel
i
evehei
sgone"

Me:
"yeahi
t'
sunbel
i
evabl
e"

Wehuggedeachot
her
.Myshoul
derwaswetandt
ear
snear
edmyey
esbutIpushedt
hem back.

Me:
"Iam her
efory
ou"

Nomat
terwhathappened.Theywer
ebr
other
saf
teral
l"

Tobecont
inued

I
nser
t76

*
NKONZO*

"
Gir
lwhenwef
ir
stst
art
edwewer
espendi
ngal
lourt
imet
oget
heri
nlov
e

Nowwe'
regr
owni
ngonandy
ou'
reaf
rai
dofl
osi
ngme,
don'
tbe

482
I
'
vegotahear
tful
lofl
oveev
ent
houghImi
ghtnotshowi
t

Gi
rli
t'
syouIdr
eam ofandj
ustsoy
ouknowi
t

Youhav
emyat
tent
ion,
any
thi
ngy
ouneedatal
l

I
'
llbet
her
ewheny
oucal
lme

[
Chor
us]

I
'
vegott
hingsonmymi
nd,
taki
n'myt
ime,
butI
'
m..
.

I
'
m nott
oobusyf
ory
ou,
I'
m nott
oobusy

I
fyou'
ref
eel
i
ngal
one,
justpi
ckupt
hephone,
'causeI
..
.

I
'
m nott
oobusyf
ory
ou,
I'
m nott
oobusy

Weusedt
odr
eam t
hatonedaywe'
dhav
eev
ery
thi
ngwewant

Butnowt
hatt
hingsar
emov
in'
,Ihopet
hatwedon'
tmov
eapar
t

Youst
il
lhav
emyhear
t

I
'
vegotsomucht
odo,
butgi
rli
tdoesn'
tmat
ter

Butwheni
tcomesdownt
oyouIcan'
tthi
nkofnot
hingbet
ter

Ev
eryt
imeI
'
m st
ressi
n'
,If
indt
hati
t'
sabl
essi
n't
o

Tobehear
in'
from y
ou "

Thi
sisoneofmyf avour
it
esongs.Iknowt hatLandi
swalovestheart
istKennylat
timor
ev er
y
muchandIt hi
nkshewouldmarryhi
mi fshehadachancetodoso.Ismi l
ewhi l
elooki
ngather.
I
talwaysfeelf
orei
gnbutgoodwhenIsmi lej
ustforher
.Shewant edtotagalongtothelawyer
's
off
iceandMaZuluandMaDlaminisai
dt heywil
lhandl
ethekids.

Landi
swa:
"ify
ouf
eel
i
ngal
one.Justpi
ckupt
hephone,
'causeI
..
..
.

I
'
m nott
obusyf
ory
ou,
I'
m nott
obusyf
ory
ou"

Ichuckl
edcauseshewasloudbutsi
nceshecansingi
twasbeaut
if
ul.Ev
eni
fitwasn'
tIwoul
d
havelov
edit.Sheki
ssesmycheekandchangest
hesong.

483
Landi
swa:
"Yohbabyi
tfeel
shoti
nher
eopent
heac"

Ichuckl
edandopenedt
heai
rcondi
ti
onerasshewasf
anni
ngher
sel
f.

Me:
"youdr
amat
ic"

Shesmi
l
ed.

Landi
swa:
"It
ooki
tfr
om MaDl
ami
ni"

Inoddedi
nagr
eement
.

Me:
"Ihav
easur
pri
sef
ory
ouaf
tert
his.Ir
eal
l
yhopey
oul
ovei
t."

Landi
swa:
"any
thi
ngt
hathas'
NKONZOMKHI
ZE,
LANDI
SWA'
SHUSBAND'
behi
ndi
tIwi
l
llov
e"

Ichuckl
ed.

Me:
"SoIam Landi
swa'
shusband?"

Myoneey
ebr
owwasupwhi
l
econcer
ntr
ati
ngont
her
oadandst
eal
i
nggl
ancesather
.

Landi
swa:
"yessodon'
tgoandf
indanot
herMami
outt
her
ecauseIwi
l
lki
l
lthebot
hofy
ou"

Shegav
emeaser
iousst
areandIl
i
ftedmyhandsupi
nsur
render
.

Me:
"Iwon'
t"

Landi
swa:
"Good"

Shecarri
edonbobbl i
ngherheadandj ustlaughedathowshej ustt
hreatenedme.Wear r
ivedat
thel
awf i
rm wher ethelawy erworks.Igotoutandwentt oopenthedoorf ormywife.
Ever
ytimeIthinkorsayt hatitj
ustfeelssurreal
.Iwalkedwithherwhi l
eIhel dherwai
st.She
l
ooksbeaut i
full
ikeshedi dn'tj
ustgivebir
th.Shedoesn'tputmakeupatt imesbutshedoesn't
needitcauseshei sverybeaut i
ful.

Landi
swa:
"Youknowapi
ctur
elast
slonger
"

Shesmi
l
ed.

Me:"(ki
ssi
nghercheek)Idon'
tneedapi
ctur
ecauseIgott
heper
sonnextt
omesecur
edandI
canstar
eallIwant"

Landi
swa:
"Babyy
ousuckatbei
ngr
omant
ic"

If
rownedandshel
aughed.

Landi
swa:
"Butt
hat
'swhatIl
oveabouty
ou"

484
Me:
"Youbet
ter"

Shegiggl
edandweweredirect
edtot
hel
awy
er'
sof
fi
ce.Assoonaswegoti
nhest
oodupand
greet
edusandshookourhands..

Lawy
er:
"MrMkhi
zeandMsDl
ami
niIpr
esume"

Landi
swa:
"It
'sMr
sMkhi
ze"

Lawy
er:
"Ohmyapol
ogi
es"

Me:
"Maywegeti
tdonewi
th?
"

Lawy
er:
"of
cause.Uhm MrQwabeher
elef
tyoual
ett
er"

Heopenedhi
sbr
iefcaseandt
ooki
toutandhandedi
ttome.

Landi
swa:
"youcanr
eadi
tathomewheny
ouar
eal
one."

Me:
"NoIwi
l
lreadi
ther
e"

ShenoddedasIopenedt
hel
ett
er

*
NOMA*

Ifeell
i
keapr isoner.Mongezi i
smakingsur eIam l
ikeaguar dedcriminal.IwascheckedifIam
cleantodayandIam t houghIam cravi
ngbutIhav etor esistit
.Thet herapyisreall
yannoyi
ng
mecauseIdon' twanttotalkaboutanyt
hingtonost ranger .AfterDrSimonhadl ef
tIwentto
mybedr oom andt hrewmy sel
fonthebed.Iwasr eal
lytired.Mongezi hadwentoutt ovi
sit
Amandaf ortodaybutIam st uckwithguards.Iheardpeopl etalki
ngdownst ai
r sandigotoff
thebedandwentdownt hestair
sandIsawKamo.Shet urnedandsmi l
ed.

Kamo:
"If
oundherbaby!
"

Ntsi
kaappear
ed.DamnIam hor
nyandIneedt
orel
easebutt
hemosqui
toi
sher
ewi
thi
t'
s
carr
ier
.

485
Nt
sika:
"Wecamet
osl
eepov
erandmakesur
eyouar
eok"

Kamo:
yes"

If
akesasmi
l
e.

Me:
"Sur
e."

Itur
nedar
oundandwentupt
hest
air
s.Iam notachi
ldnxx.Igoti
nmyroom andbangedt
he
doorandmyphoner
ang.I
twasMenzi
.Ibreathedoutbefor
eIanswer
ed

Me:
"Myki
ng"

Menzi
:"dr
opt
hat
.Ihear
dabouty
ou?
"

Me:
"youar
egonnat
reatmel
i
keababyt
oo?
"

Menzi
:"Iknowi
t'
shar
d.Il
ostmyt
winNomay
ounott
heonl
yonewhol
ostabr
otherbutDr
ugs?
"

Me:
"wedeal
wit
hpai
ndi
ff
erent
ly"

Menzi:
"Nott
hiskind.It
'sdest
roy
ingy
ouandwon'tchangethef
actthatMuzi
isgoneandy
ou
wi
shinghewasthere.Iwisht
hatt
oo.Iwi
shIspentmoretimewithhim."

Iwassi
lent
.Real
l
yIdi
dn'
tthi
nkofhowMenzi
isf
eel
i
ng.Iwassoconsumedi
nmyownpai
nthat
Idi
dn'
tnoti
ce.

Me:
"CanIcomehomet
hisweekend?
"

Menzi
:"y
ouwi
l
lcomedownwi
thLandi
swaandGogo"

Me:
"ok"

Menzi
:
"Il
ovey
ouandi
am st
il
lyourbr
other"

Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"

HehungupandIl
aidi
nbedandl
ookedatt
hecei
l
ing.

"Youknowwear
enotagai
nsty
our
ight?"

Il
ookedather
.Shewal
kedi
n.

Kamo:
"Iam sor
ryabouty
ourbr
other"

Inoddedandt
urnedaway.

Me:
"howl
onghav
eyoubeenengaged?"

486
Shehast
heemostwi
destsmi
l
eint
hewor
ld.

Kamo:
"It
'sbeen6mont
hsandnowwear
eget
ti
ngmar
ri
ed"
.

Me:
"itmustbeni
ce"

Kamo:
"don'
tyouhav
eaboy
fri
end?"

Il
ookedather

Me:
"noIam asmashandpassgi
rl"

Kamo:
"ohw"

Idi
dn'
tl
ikeherohw

Me:
"canIbeal
one?"

Kamo:
"sur
e"

Shewal
kedoutandIsi
ghedandj
ustcal
l
edmyf
uckbuddyi
nthehouse.

Nt
sika:
"Hel
l
o"

Me:
",
Comeup"

Nt
sika:
"itdoesn'
tendwel
lwi
thy
ou"

Me:
"Ohwel
l
.That
'sme"

Nt
sika:
"Iwi
l
ltr
ysee.Whaty
ouwant
.Gi
veme20mi
nut
es"

Me:
"ok.Gr
eetwi
feyf
orme"

Heclosedhi
stongueandIl
aughed.Iqui
ckl
ywenttot
hebathr
oom andf
reshenedupabutand
wentbacktomyroom andhewalkedinmyroom 20minut
est
opsandIwasonhi m ki
ssi
nghi
m.

Nt
sika:
"Kamomi
ghtcome"

Me:
"that
'st
hef
unpar
t"

Hecl
osedt
hedoorl
ocki
ngi
t.

Nt
sika:
"Iwi
l
lbequi
ck"

Me:
"that
'sal
lIneed"

Isai
dgoi
ngdownonhi
sbel
tandunbuckl
i
ngi
t.

487
.

Tobecont
inued

I
nser
t77

*
LANDI
SWA*

Nkonzohasbeenquietsincewehav el
efttheLawfir
m andIunderstandandIhavebeensil
ent
aswellgi
vi
nghim hi
stimet oprocesswhatwasinthere.Idon'
tevenknowwhat'si
nside.Heis
bi
tt
inghisbot
tom l
ipwithaf r
ownonhi sfaceandIknowhei sthi
nki
ngandit'
sdeep.

Me:
"weshoul
dgohome.Wewi
l
lseet
hesur
pri
sel
ater"

Het
urnedt
ofacemet
henf
acedt
her
oad.

Nkonzo:
"No,
Iam ok"

Hel
ockshi
shandwi
thmi
neandsmi
l
es.I
t'
ssmal
lbutIl
ovei
tany
way
.

Nkonzo:
"wehav
etopassbysomewher
efi
rst
.Seei
nganol
dfr
iend"

Me:
"ok"

Ipluggedi
nmyphoneandpl ay
edsomemusi candlai
dmyheadonmyseat.Wef
inal
l
ygott
o
thedesti
nat
ionandhehoppedoutandopenedthedoorandIt
hankedhi
m.

Nkonzo:
"itwon'
ttakel
ongok?"

Il
eanedi
n.

Me:
"it
'sok"

Wewal
kedi
nthedeal
ershi
p.

Me:
"Yourf
ri
endwor
ksher
e?"

488
Nkonzo:
"heistheowner .HehassharesatLandRoverandtheyi
mportl
andRov
ers.Healso
hasagar
aget hatsel
l
snewPor chescar
s.HeholdsDemof esti
val
saswell
wherepeopl
ecan
comeandviewnewr eleasesandtestdri
vethem."

Me:
"Wowhemustber
ich"

Hechuckl
ed.

Nkonzo:"heis.Iam gl
adwecaughthi
m becausehet
rav
elsal
ot.I
tusedt
obeme,
hi
m and
Muzi.Togetherwecausedhav
ocinvar
sit
y"

Hewasi
nthought
sagai
n.

Me:
"Iam sur
etheywer
egr
eatmemor
ies"

Nkonzo:
"yeah"

Aguyincasualcl
othes.Hewasal
lNike.Ni
keshor
tswi
thsneaker
s,capandt
-shi
rtandRol
ex
wat
ch.Thereiti
s.Theexpensi
vet
hing.

Hi
m:"Nkonzo"

Nkonzo:
"Vuy
ani
"

Theybr
ohugged.

Vuy
ani
:"i
sthi
syourgi
rl,
wowf
ir
stt
imeseei
ngy
ouhav
eone"

Theychuckl
ed.

Nkonzo:
"Iam af
ami
l
ymannow"

Vuyani
:"Youl
ie?Howdidyoumar
ryt
hissol
dier
.Gi
rl
scoul
dn'
thandl
ehi
stempert
ant
rumsand
howhelacksbei
ngromant
ic"

Il
aughed

Me:
"IguessIwasmentf
orhi
mthen"

Vuy
ani
:"Iwi
l
lvi
sitt
heMkhi
ze'
ssoon."

Nkonzo:
"Comewi
thDi
sneywor
ld,
myki
dshat
epeopl
ewhocomeempt
yhanded."

Vuyani:
"Howl
onghav
eIbeenoutoft
hecount
ry,
wowman.Yougr
own.
Iam st
il
lsmashi
ngand
passi
ng"

Me:
"yety
ouseem mar
ri
ed"

Iwasl
ooki
ngathi
sweddi
ngband

489
Vuy
ani
:"I
t'
sjustar
ingr
ight.
plusi
t'
sanopenmar
ri
age"

Me:
"Oh"

Wel
aughed.

Vuy
ani
:'wewi
l
ltal
klat
eraboutf
ami
l
y.Pl
easecomet
hissi
de"

Wef
oll
owedhi
m.

Me:
"(whi
sper
ingt
oNkonz
o)hei
sfr
iendl
y"

Nkonzo:
"hei
sbutaf
uckboyaswel
l"

Me:
"Inot
iced"

If
eel
sorryforhi
swi
fe.Wegoti
nhi
sof
fi
ceandhegav
emesomebot
tl
eswat
erandhadwhi
sky
wi
thNkonzo.

Nkonzo:
"isev
ery
thi
ngok?"

Vuy
ani
:"100%r
eady
.Wej
us.
..
."

Ther
ewasaknockont
hedoorandaguypeekedi
n.

Guy:
"Si
rwear
ereadyf
ory
ou"

Vuy
ani
:"Thanks"

Hewal
kedout
.

Vuy
ani
:"IgotnewCar
stoday
.Let
'sgoseet
hem "

Nkonzo:
"yougl
adt
haty
ourpar
ent
sfor
cedy
out
odoMechani
cal
engi
neer
ing"

Vuy
ani
:
"dude.LooknowIam ami
l
li
onai
re"

Theyl
aughedandwewenttowheret
hecar
swer
eandt
heywer
ebeaut
if
ul.Por
checar
swer
e
thi
ssi
deanwewer el
ooki
ngatthem.

Me:
"Wowt
heyar
ebeaut
if
ul.Howmuchdot
heyusual
l
ycost?
"

Vuy
ani
:"Wel
lther
eisav
ari
etyoft
hecostpr
icesbutnot
hingbel
ow2Mi
l
li
oni
nthi
sgar
age"

Me:
"Wowt
hat
'sal
ot."

Heopenedt
hedoorofone.

Vuy
ani
:"Geti
nandf
eel
them."

490
Me:
"Won'
tImessi
tup?"

Hechuckl
ed

Vuy
ani
:"NoMr
sNkonzonowgeti
n"

Igoti
nandohmyGodt hel
eatherseatsitwasli
keheaventhewaytheywerecomfort
abl
eon
me.Thesteer
ingwheel
.Ever
ythingherescreamedIam expensi
veandbeaut
if
ul.Thecarsmel
l
wasamazi
ngaswell
.Iopenedt hedoorandgotoutandNkonzoheldmywai st.

Me:
"WownowIseewhyt
heyar
eexpensi
ve"

Vuyani:
"Notonl
ythat.Anot
herreasont
heyar
eexpensi
veisbecauseofThei
rpar
tsar
eal
so
expensi
veandhar
dt ofi
nd.Theygetshi
ppedf
rom ov
erseas."

Me:
"NowIwi
shIdi
dengi
neer
ing"

Nkonzol
aughed.

Nkonzo:
"youwi
l
landIwi
l
lmakesur
eoft
hat"

Ismi
l
edandper
kedhi
sli
ps.

Me:
"Thanky
ou"

Vuyani
:"OhIhaveonelastcar
.Thi
sisanewrel
easeandMydel
earshipi
stheonl
yonet
hathas
thi
sporchei
nthewholeofSouthAfr
ica.Soy
ouguysgett
oseeitf
irstaswel
l"

Me:
"Thi
sisexci
ti
ng"

Theyl
aughedandhedir
ect
edust otheot
hersi
deandhegott
hroughf
ir
stt
otheout
sideandwe
fol
l
owedandIstoppedmytracks.

Nkonzo:
"Comebaby
"

Il
ookedathim wi
tht
ear
sinmyey
esandhewassmi
l
ing.HecameandhuggedmeandIj
ust
cr
iedonhischest
.

Nkonzo:
"shhh"

Alumpthatwasi
nmyt hr
oatwasfreeandsobscameaft
er.WhenIwascal
m Ir
emov
edmy
sel
f
f
rom hi
m andheki
ssedmyforeheadandtookmyhand..

Nkonzo:
"Let
'sgetcl
oser
."

WegotcloserandIdon'
tevenknowwhatist
heonpointnameoftheatbutIknewit'
saporche.
I
thadaredr i
bbonandther
ewasabannerabovei
twritt
en"ILOVEYOUMRSME"damnt he
numberplat
ehadmynameoni tandt
hetear
sandexcit
ementalli
nonejustf
lowed.Vuy
ani

491
openedt
hecardoorandi
thadr
edl
eat
herseat
s.I
t'
swhi
tei
ncol
our
.

Me:
"Nkonzo"

Nkonzo:
"geti
n.I
t'
syour
s."

Me:
"I.
..
I..
.Ican'
t.I
t'
sexpensi
ve."

It
urnedt
ohi
m andhel
ookedatmeandhel
dmycheeks.

Nkonzo:"Idon'
tcar
ehowexpensi
veiti
s.Ifit
'sf
oryouIdon'
tmindt
aki
ngoutev enami
l
li
on
nowifyouaskedbecauseIhav
etotakecar
eofyouandspoil
youasyourhusband."

Ihuggedhi
m.

Nkonzo:
"Il
ovey
ou"

Me:
"Il
ovey
oumor
e"

Hebr
oket
hehuganwi
pedmyt
ear
s.

Nkonzo:
"geti
n."

Hesai
dwi
thasmi
l
eandIsmi
l
ed.

Vuyani:
"Mywi
fewoul
dhav
ebeenoutofher
eal
readywi
thoutcar
inghowmuchi
tis.I
fit
'sher
s.
I
t'
shers."

Il
aughedandlookedar
ound.Wowt hi
sisbeaut
if
ul.If
eel
blessed.Nkonzowi
nkedatmeandI
smil
edthenhesnappedapict
ure.

Nkonzo:
"beaut
if
ul"

Me:
"Wai
tIcan'
tdr
ive"

Nkonzo:
"Iwi
l
lteachy
ou"

Me:
"Youl
eav
ingsoon"

Nkonzo:
"ifIhav
etoext
endmyst
ayt
oteachy
ouIwi
l
l"

Ismi
l
ed.

Vuy
ani
:"many
ouwhi
ppedy
err
r"

WelaughedanIhoppedout
.Vuy
aniwhi
stl
edandsomeguycamewi
thabasketandkey
sand
handedthem t
oVuyani
whogaveitt
ome.

Me:
"Thanky
ou"

492
Vuy
ani
:"buymor
ecar
sMkhi
zet
omakey
ourwi
fehappy"

Me:
"not
hisonei
senoughal
ready"

Theyl
aughed.If
eel
sohappy
.Il
ookedatt
hemanIl
oveandwonderhowIbecamet
hisl
ucky
tohav
ehim.

*
NKONZO*

Landi
swa:
"(si
ngi
ng)Kudal
ngi
zul
angi
funa'
onj
engawe

You'
ret
hef
atherofmybaby

You'
remynumberone

Andt
her
e'snoot
herone"

Ichuckl
ed.Shehasbeenhappysi
ncewel
eft
.Shewant
s.Ust
opassbyAmanda'
spl
ace.Il
ove
seei
ngherliket
hat
.

Landi
swa:
"Thanky
ou"

Il
ookedather

Me:
"it
'sapl
easur
e"

Landi
swa:"forevery
thi
ng.Forbei
ngther
ewi
thmeandfort
olerat
ingmeandforl
ovingmet he
most.Fort
hef amil
ywehav eandseei
ngmewort
hyasy
ourwi f
eandmotherofyourkids.
Thankyouforthat"

Iki
ssherhandwhi
l
ecl
enchi
ngmyj
aws.

Me:
"Thanky
ouf
orl
ovi
ngme. Iam notper
fectbuty
oul
ovemenont
hel
ess"

Sheki
ssedmycheek.

Landi
swa:
"Iwoul
dhav
egav
eyousomesomebutheyy
ouknow butt
hatdoesn'
tmeanIcan'
t

493
wearal
i
nger
ief
ory
ouandst
ri
pdance"

Thesmi
l
eonmyf
ace.Mybodyt
ingl
es.Whati
sshedoi
ngt
ome.?Shel
aughed.

Landi
swa:
"IseeKhabazel
aagr
ees"

Shesai
dcov
eri
ngherf
ace.

Me:
"babyy
ouar
etor
tur
ingme"

Landi
swa:
"oksor
ryst
handwaSam "

Weparkedthecarandshegotoutr
unni
ngout.Thiswif
eofmi necanbesomet
hingel
seat
t
imes.Igotoutandmademywayi nandtheywerehuggingeachother
.

Me:
"Hel
l
oAmanda"

Amanda:
"babuMkhi
ze(MrMkhi
ze)
"

Landi
swa:
"Musaukuphapha(
don'
tbef
orwar
d)"

Amanda:
"Mongezi
isher
e.Hewentt
otheki
tchen"

Landi
swa:
"wel
lIhav
enews"

Amanda:
"met
oo"

Landi
swa:
"youf
ir
st"

Mongezi
wal
kedi
n.

Mongezi
:"It
houghtIhear
dsomeannoy
ingv
oice"

Me:
"that
'smywi
fey
ouar
etal
ki
ngabout"

Amandal
aughed

Landi
swa:
"thanky
oubaby"

Amanda:
"Mongezi
sitdown"

Mongezi
:"y
ougoodman?"

Me:
"Iam good"

Mongezi
:"Iwantust
ogoandt
alk"

Me:
"sur
e"

Landi
swa:
"don'
tki
l
leachot
herpl
ease"

494
Mongezi
.:
"Wewon'
t"

Wewal
kedout
side.

Mongezi
:"Iknowwenev
ergotal
ongf
ormanyr
easons"

Me:
"yeah"

Mongezi
:"Iwantt
oputourpasthi
stor
yapast
.Formysi
ster
'ssakeandy
ourwi
fe.Wear
e
f
amil
ynowbasical
ly"

Me:
"t
hatdi
dn'
tst
opy
ouf
rom t
ryi
ngt
ohat
eyourownf
ami
l
y"

Mongezi:"youwon'
tunder
stand.Toal
waysbesidel
i
nedjustbecausey
ourfat
herwasn'
tther
e.
Them nottr
eati
ngyouthesameandt r
eaty
ouli
keanoutsider
.Feeli
ngl
onel
yintheworl
d."

It
houghtofwhathesaid.Wear en'
tthatdi
ff
erent
.Ifel
tlonel
yinthi
sworl
devent
houghdadi
s
al
iv
ebutsinceLandi
swaandt hekidsIfeel
li
keIhavesecuri
tyandpeopl
ewhowil
llov
emeno
matterwhatandIwi
ll
dot hesame.

Me:
"Igety
ou"

Mongezi
:"Idon'
twantt
olooseLandi
swa.Shei
sal
lIhav
e"

Me:
"met
oo"

Wehandshookoni
t

*
AMANDA*

Ican'tbel
i
evewhatIam aboutt
otel
lLandi
swai
sact
ual
l
ytr
ue.Shei
smyBest
fri
endandIt
rust
her.Iknowshewil
lhavemyback.

Landi
swa:
"Ihav
ebeenwai
ti
ng"

Me:
"tel
lnoone.Ij
ustf
oundouty
est
erday
.Wel
lwef
oundouty
est
erday"

495
Landi
swa:
"wai
tar
eyoupr
egnant?

Ismi
l
edandnodded.Shescr
eamed.

Landi
swa:
"(si
ngi
ng)Ut
hi'
asmi
the

S'
hol
eMal
iyeqol
o

Hul
umeni
uyadl
alangat
hi"

Il
aughed.

Landi
swa:
"Bi
tchi
am sohappyf
ory
ou.Howf
ar?
"

Me:
"2weeks"

Landi
swa:
"Nowmybabi
eswon'
tbel
onel
y"

Me:
"youHav
ethr
eeki
ds.Whi
chl
onel
i
essar
eyout
alki
ngabout?"

Landi
swa:
"thi
sdaygotbet
tery
oh."

Me:
"whatmadey
ouhappy?
"

Shesmi
l
edcov
eri
ngherf
aceandr
oll
i
ngback

Me:
"tel
lmeLandi
swa"

Landi
swa:
"GodAmandaIl
ovet
hatman."

Shesatupandl
ookedatme.Icoul
dseei
tinherey
est
hatsher
eal
l
ydoes.

Me:
"ok"

Landi
swa:
"guesswhohasacar?
"

Iscreamedandcriedwhil
ehuggi
ngherandwer ol
ledont
hefl
oor
.OhmyGodIam sohappyfor
her.Shedeser
vesthi
s.Shehasbeent
hroughenoughandnowshehassomeonewhol
ovesand
takescar
eofher.Webothcri
ed.

Landi
swa: "I
tsallsur
realManda.I
tjustfeelsl
ikeyest
erdaywhereIwenttoschoolwi
thbr
oken
shoesandcoul dn'
taf
fordmuchandst il
lIcan'
tbutnowIownacarwor t
hmi l
li
ons.Whowould
havethoughtthatmeLandiswawhoi shat edbyhermot herwoul
dbewher eIam."

Icri
edmore.Hersayi
ngthatgottome.Ialwaysliv
edagoodlif
e.IneverknowhowLandi
swa
str
uggl
edcauseIhaveneverbeeninherposi
ti
on.Shegaveupherdreamsj ustt
omakeends
meetandnowGodi spayi
ngforallt
heyearsoftear
sandhersorr
ows.

Me:
"Iam sohappyf
ory
ou"

496
Landi
swa:
"Il
ovey
ou"

Me:
"Il
ovey
oumor
e"

Westi
ll
huggedeachot
herl
ayi
ngont
hef
loor
.Herheadwasonmychest
.Theguy
swal
kedi
n
andr
ushedtous.

Nkonzo:
"ar
ey'
al
lok?"

Mongezi
:"whati
swr
ong?"

Wel
ookedatt
hem bei
ngwor
ri
edandwel
aughed.

Landi
swa:
"not
hingbabyj
ustgi
rlt
ime"

Me:
"yeah"

Landi
swasatupandMongezi
car
ri
edmef
rom t
hef
loor

Mongezi
:"don'
trol
lont
hef
loory
ouar
egonnahur
tyour
sel
f."

Wel
auged

Me:
"chi
l
lMunt
uwam Iam f
ine(myman)
"

Weshar
edaki
ss.

Landi
swa:
"okt
hat
'sourcuet
oleav
ebabyl
et'
sgowest
il
lhav
etogethome"

Theyst
oodupandwedi
dtoo.Wehuggedt
heysai
dby
eandl
eft
.

Mongezi
:"Il
ovey
ou,
youknowt
hat?"

Inodded.

Mongezi
:"comeher
e"

HehuggedmeandIcr
ied.

Mongezi
:"deat
hwi
l
lseper
ateusandt
hat
'sapr
omi
se."

Nomanhasev ersai
dthatandmenthi
swords.Ev
ery
timeMongezi
makesapromi
sehekeeps
t
oit
.Iam fal
l
ingforhimreall
ywi
thnoret
urnandnowachil
disi
ntheway.Whowoul
dhave
t
houghtmyghettoasswouldbeamother.

.
INSERTSEVENTY-
EIGHT

497
.

*
PALESA*

Theghet tocoupl
earehost i
ngabraaitodayisforsomereasonsandIt hi
nki
t'
sagoodwayf or
ust ojustgooutandhavef unyouknow.Landi swawasskeptical
butgogosaidshecancome
soIwashappyaswel l.IheardBhuti
bae( Nkonzo)Boughtacarf orhersowewil
lsoonbe
roll
inginherbaby.Igotoffthecaraft
erNdabaopenedt hedoorforme.Wepl antohaveour
weddi ngintwomont hsfrom now whichisnextyearFebr
uary.Igooutandwenttotheback
whi l
ehehadNt andoinhishandsandIt ookthesaladandhehandedmyhandbagt omeandI
kissedhischeek.

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Wewal
kedi
nsi
de.Amandawashear
dfr
om t
hedoor
.

Amanda:"Vel
eindodauy
ini
kaengat
hiuy
umagosha!
(Yeahy
ougi
vei
ttoy
ourmanl
i
key
ouar
ea
pr
ost
it
ute)"

Thel
adi
esl
aughedt
hatwer
ether
e.Tr
ustAmandat
osaysuch.

Me:
"Hel
l
ogi
rl
s"

Landi
swaj
umpedt
ohugme.

Ndaba:
"Ladi
es"

Them :
"Bhut
ibae"

Theyl
aughed.God,
Itur
nedt
ohi
m.

Me:
"comeNt
ando"

Ndaba:
"hei
saman.Hei
scomi
ngwi
thme"

Me:
"ok"

Heper
kedmyl
i
psandl
eft.

Amanda:
"Lov
eisi
ntheai
r."

498
Landi
swa:"okl
adi
es.Thi
sisPal
esaourgi
rl.
Pal
esat
hisi
sKamo,
Ntsi
ka'
sfi
anceandt
hent
hisi
s
l
ondiwe,
Vuyani
'
swife"

Londi
we:
"Mr
sXul
uDar
li
ng"

Shewav
edherper
fect
lymani
cur
edhandsi
ntheai
r.

Me:
"ni
cet
omeety
ou"

Wesati
ntheki
tchenhel
pingoutpr
epar
e.

*NOMA*

Mongezi j
ustt ol
dmet hereisabr aaiat"Their
"pl
aceAmandahasaf latsoIguessheboughta
houseforthem t ogether.Ididn'twanttogobuthedr aggedmet here.Ihav ebeencleanfora
weekbelieveitandi t
'st our
ingme.Idosmokeweedsomet i
mesbutI fMongezi fi
ndsoutthenI
am doomed.Assoonashepar kedthecarIgotout.YahnehRr hhaahet r
eatsmel i
keachild.
Iwasinski nnyjeanst heyarer i
ppedwithal ongsl
eevet -
shir
tthoughi t
'shotbutIam cov
ering
mycutwr ists.Igetinandt hel adiesar
emaki ngnoi
sel aughi
ngandt her ei
sKamoandaBar bie.
Justgreat.

Landi
swa:
"Noma"

Shecamet
osqueezemei
nahugandImoanedi
npai
n.

Me:
"Landi
sway
ouar
eki
l
li
ngme"

Shebr
oket
hehug.

Pal
esa:
"wedon'
tknowy
ouany
mor
e"

Me:
"Igotschool
andhomet
oat
tendev
ery
daybecauseofy
'al
l
'smen"

Amanda:
"theyar
elooki
ngoutf
ory
ou.Weal
lar
e"

Me:
"Sur
ethanks"

499
Isatdown.

Landi
swa:
"Uhm t
hisi
sUnat
hiXul
u.Shei
smar
ri
edt
oVuy
ani
"

Shel
ookedatmeupandown.Idon'
tcar
ereal
l
y

Me:
"oh.Iam goi
ngt
oli
edown"

Igotof
fmychai
randaguywhol
ooksl
i
keLandi
swaandhersi
sterwal
kedi
nwi
thanot
hergi
rl.

Hi
m:"hi
"

Me:
"Shomf
wet
hu.

Iwal
kedoutandwasheadi
ngupt
hest
air
swhenMongezi
spoke.

Mongezi
:"Comef
rom downt
her
eandgogr
eetNoma"

Me:
"Igr
eet
edt
hel
adi
es"

Mongezi
:"Iwi
l
lsl
apy
ousi
l
ly"

Ihuf
fedandwal
keddownt
hest
air
spassi
nghi
m.Hehel
dmyupperar
m.

Mongezi
:"dr
opt
heat
ti
tudecausey
ouwi
l
lthankusl
ater"

Iy
ankedmysel
fandwentoutsi
de.Themenwerebyt
hebr
aai
standhav
ingdr
inks.Ar
ghNt
sika
i
shereandsomeguyIdon'
tknow.Igott
othem.

Me:
"sani
bonani
(Hel
l
o)"

Guy:
"Hey"

Nkonzo:
"Vuy
ani
hol
dyourpant
spl
easey
ouhav
eawi
feandNomai
sof
fli
mit
s"

Vuy
ani
:"chi
l
lman."

Ir
oll
edmyey
esandNt
sikawassi
ppi
nghi
sdr
ink.

Vuyani:
"Vuyani
Xul
u.Iam sur
eyoudon'
tremembermemuch.IwasMuzi
'
sfr
iend.
Iwascr
ust
y
backthen"

Hel etouthi
shand.Ilookedati
tbeforeshakinghi
shandbackandsomet hingwasshockingmy
bodyandmaki ngitt
ingl
eAndi lookedathim andmyey esjustwenttohi
seyesandhis
Colgatesmil
e.Hischisel
edfaceandstrongjawli
ne.HelookedPerfecti
nhisCarmelski
n.He
touchedmywr ist
sandtheywereexposedbutnott hatmuch.

Vuy
ani
:"whathappenedher
e?"

500
Ipul
l
edmyhandback

Me:
"Ihav
etor
est
.By
e"

Irushedoffandwentupthestai
rsandfoundar oom andlockedmy sel
finit
.Hisscentisst
il
l
attheti
pofmynose.Hi ssmil
eseemedsoper fectandhisr oughy etsofthandsweresendi
ng
si
gnalsall
ov ermybodyandbutt
erfl
iesoccupi
edmyst omach.Fort hefi
rstti
me.Iwasshy.Why
wasIshy?Hei smarr
iedbutt
hatdoesn'tmeanIcan'tadmireright?

*
SANELE*

Ilookathersmili
ngandenj oy
ingev er
ymomentshehasar oundfriends.Mysi st
er.Wellnotf
ull
sist
ersincewedon'tsharethesamef at
herbutsheismysist
er.Ican'tbel
ievethatsheisthe
general
'
swi f
e.Iwonderhowourmot hertr
eatedher.WhenIdidr esearchthatmay bei
twasn't
acoinci
dencethatImett hem thatdayandthattheyareDl
aminiandIconduct edtestsand
foundoutthatIam rel
atedtoher .Ihaveafamily.Howismyfatherlike.Hersmi l
ehasabi tof
meandMongezi ini
t.Herey esar esimil
artomine.Thisi
smysi ster.

Landi
swa:
"youhav
en'
ttouchedy
ourf
oodSanel
e"

It
akemyspoon

Me:
"Iam nott
hathungr
y"

Shef
rowns.

Landi
swa:
"awut
heny
oushoul
ddi
shi
tupast
akeaway"

Inoddedasshet
ookmypl
ateandwal
kedof
f.Amandacol
l
ect
edt
hedi
shesoft
hosewhoar
e
done.

Nkonzo:
"Sanel
elet
'sgogetsomedr
inks"

Ist
oodupandwalkedwithhi
minsi
det
hehouset
il
lwegotoutandwentbyt
hedr
iveway.Hel
i
t
upaci
garet
teandstar
tedsmoki
ng

501
Nkonzo:
"Isawhowy
ouwer
est
ari
ngatmywi
fe"

Iswol
l
owed.

Me:
"Gener
alIam sor
ryi
t'
s..
..
."

Nkonzo:
"when?"

Il
ookedathi
m.

Me:
"it
sbeenaweeknow"

Nkonzo:
"Iguesst
hef
orcet
aughty
ouwel
l
."

Me:
"youknew?"

Nkonzo:"f
rom t
heweekImetLandi
swa.Isawhowshel
ookedl
i
key
ouandhersi
sterand
motherwereconf
ir
mati
on"

Me:
"Ihav
eanot
hersi
ster"

Hechuckl
edandt
ookapuf
f.

Nkonzo:
"yeah"

Il
eanedont
hecarnextt
ouswi
thhandsi
nmypocket

Me:
"howar
ethey?"

Nkonzo:
"unf
ort
unat
elyt
heyar
enotl
i
keLandi
swaandMaDl
ami
ni.Theyar
esomet
hingel
se"

Ther
ewasapi
ndr
opofsi
l
ence

Me:
"thebad?"

Nkonzo:"Iwon'tsaymuchaboutt
hem causeIhavecr
ossedpathswi t
hthem onceort
wicebut
youwill
seewhatImean.Tel lmywif
e.Wewoul dbehappy.Sheactual
lywasaskingmethat
shefeel
slikesheisrel
atedt
oyouandherinst
inct
sneverf
ailher"

Me:
"howwi
l
lgogof
eel
?"

Nkonzo:
"theywi
l
llov
eyoumor
ethany
ourmot
herwoul
d."

Het
hrewhi
sci
gar
ett
eaway

Nkonzo:"don'
tpuni
sht
hem.Theydi
dn'
tknowbutt
heper
sony
oushoul
dbeangr
yati
syour
mother
.

Inodded

502
Me:
"thanksgener
al"

Henoddedandwewal
kedi
nsi
de.If
eltbet
ternow.

.
INSERTSEVENTY-
NINE

*
LANDI
SWA*

Beingamot her,
Wifeandst udentatt hesamet i
mei sveryoverwhelmingandhar d.Att
imesI
can'tkeepupandj ustwisht hatIwashav ingasimplelifeandsti
llhadit.Iam inthest
udyr oom
andi t
's2am.Ihav ejustfi
nishedfeedingLisembowhowascr yi
ngherlungsout .Iam f
inishi
ng
upmyassi gnmentsot hatduringthedayIcant akear estbecauseIam tir
ed.Iam stil
lglued
typi
ngmyassi gnmentwhent hedooropensandheent ersandIt akealit
tl
eglimpseofhim
beforeIcarryonwi t
hwhatIam doi ng.Hel ay
sont hecouchandf acesupthecei l
i
ngwhi l
e
runninghisstomach.Icl osemyl aptopandIgot ohi m andlayont opofhim andhewr apshis
armsar oundmeandIl aidmyheadonhi schestandsi ghed.

Nkonzo:
"Imi
ssy
ou"

Me:
"Iam r
ighther
e"

Hepl
ayswi
thmyhai
randr
emov
esi
tfr
om myf
aceandl
ooksatmeandIl
ookathi
m.

Nkonzo:
"thebedi
ssocol
d."

Me:
"Iam sor
ry.Let
'sgoback"

Nkonzo:
"NoIam war
m now"

Il
ookathi
m.Hei
sinboxer
sonl
ywi
thmeont
opofhi
m.Igi
ggl
edathi
m.

Nkonzo:
"what?"

Me:
"Not
hingMrMkhi
ze"

503
Het
akesmyhandwi
tht
her
ingandpl
ayswi
thi
t.

Nkonzo:
"yousur
eyoudon'
twantawhi
teweddi
ng?
"

Me:"Idobutfornowno.Iwantusandt
heki
dst
oset
tl
e.Besi
desi
t'
sapar
ty.Iam Mr
sMkhi
ze
al
readyandIhaveyou"

Heki
ssest
het
opofmyhead.

Nkonzo:
"Inev
eri
magi
nedbei
ngmar
ri
edandhav
ingki
dswi
thonewoman"

Isatupandhi
thi
schest.

Me:
"hey"

Hechuckl
ed

Me:
"Soy
ouwer
eaf
uckboy?
"

Het
il
tedhi
sheadi
na"Iki
ndawas"

Me:
"ewwu"

Hechuckl
ed.

Nkonzo:
"Aguyhadt
odowhathehadt
odo"

Me:
"MmmmhGcwabe"

Hechuckl
edandki
ssedmyneck.

Nkonzo:"Thefor
cechangedmef
rom t
hat.Ev
enf
ami
l
ywasn'
ti
nmyl
i
stoft
hingst
odoi
nli
fe
whenIjoinedt
hefor
ce"

Me:
"butLandi
swaDl
ami
nichangedt
hat"

Hel
aughed.

Nkonzo:
"yeahy
ouchangedt
hatandIl
ovei
t"

Iki
ssedhi
sli
pswhi
l
ehol
dinghi
sface.

Me:
"Il
ovey
ou"

Nkonzo:
"Il
ovey
oumor
e"

Ismil
edandgotof
fhi
m andwentt
omyl aptopandhesatupandwatchedme.Iwentt
omy
l
aptopandpl
ayedmyKennyl
att
imoremusicsoft
lyandwentt
ohim andhepul
l
edme.

Nkonzo:
"howmanymor
emont
hs?"

504
Il
aughed.

Me:
"it
'sbeent
woweeksandal
readyy
oucan'
twai
t"

Nkonzo:
"Youl
ooksobeaut
if
ulnawe"

Me:
"thanky
oubaby"

Nkonzo:
"Let
'sgosl
eepsoIcant
eachy
ouhowt
odr
ivet
omor
row"

Icl
ear
edmyt
hroat
.Heki
ssedmyneck.

Nkonzo:
"Yi
ndaba?(What
'swr
ong?)"

Me:
"Thi
sweekendwehav
etoheaddownt
oKzn"

Nkonzo:
"theki
ds"

Inodded.

Nkonzo:
"isi
tur
gent?"

Me:
"gogosai
dthat"

Henodded.,

Nkonzo:
"wewi
l
lhav
etomakeapl
ansi
ncet
heycan'
ttr
avel
"

Me:
",Ihav
eawhi
zzyf
eel
i
ngaboutt
het
ri
p"

Nkonzo:
"Di
dyoudr
eam abouti
t?"

Me:
"no,
it'
sjustIdon'
tknow"

Nkonzo:
"may
bey
ouar
ehav
ingcol
dfeet"

Me:
"may
be.Let
'sgosl
eep"

Hecar
ri
esmeoutandwewal
kupt
hest
air
stot
hemai
nbedr
oom.

*
XOLI
LE*

505
.

Queen:
"Drwhati
sgoi
ngon?"

Iwasadmi
tt
edatt
hehospi
tal
.Mycr
ampswer
eki
l
li
ngmet
oapoi
ntIt
houghtIwasdy
ing.

Dr:
"thebabyi
stur
ning"

Il
ookedathi
m.

Queen:
"howcant
hebabyt
urnwheni
t'
sal
most5andsomet
hingmont
hs?
,",

Shel
ooksatme.

Dr:
"wear
etr
yingt
ofi
gur
ethatout
."

Shel
ooksatmeandt
heDrdoessomet
hing'
sbef
orewal
ki
ngout
.

Queen:
"howf
arar
eyou?"

Me:
"23weeksy
ourhi
ghness"

Queen:
"Mmmmh.Weneedt
ocal
lSengway
oandassesy
ou.May
bet
hisi
sat
radi
ti
onal
mat
ter
.
"
,

Inoddedandshewal
kedout
.Ir
ubbedmyst
omach.

Me:
"youhur
tmommy"

"Ti
mei
srunni
ngoutXol
i
le"

Il
ookwherethev
oiceiscomingf
rom andi
t'
snowhere.Isi
tupbutt
hepaincomesbackwi
th
power
.Ifeel
warml i
quiddownmylegsandit
'sbl
ood.Ibuzzt
henursewhil
eshout
ing

Me:
",,
hel
p!!Hel
p"

Thi
sisamess.

506
I
NSERTEI
GHTY

*
GUGU*

Ngqangi
:"Vumani
boh!(
,Agr
ee)
",

Me:
"Si
yav
uma!
(,Weagr
ee)"

507
Isaywhi
lecl
appi
ngandshethr
owsherbones.Iam havi
ngweir
ddreamsofPanthersri
ppi
ng
meapartoraCobrabi
ti
ngme.Sheobser
vesthem asitissi
l
entandshakesherhead.

Me:
"Whati
swr
ong?"

Ngqangi
:
"kubi
(it
'sbad)
"

Me:
"wecanf
ixi
t"

Ngqangi
:"t
hiscan'
tbef
ixed.Ourendi
snear"

Me:
"don'
ttel
lmet
hat!
"

Shest
andsupandgoestotakeherbowelfi
ll
edwit
hredwaterandsher
unsherhandsandt
hen
l
ookstit
.Shedoesi
tagainbutIseenot
hing.Sheshakesherhead.

Me:
"yi
nimanj
e?(Whati
sit?)
"

Ngqangi
:"cel
aungi
phumel
e(pl
easel
eav
e)"

Me:
"Iam notl
eav
ingt
il
lyout
ell
mewhati
tis."

Ngqangi
:"t
heyar
ecomi
ngf
orus.St
art
ingwi
thy
ourdaught
er"

Me:
"butshedi
dnot
hing."

Ngqangi
:"shef
edof
fyourev
il
ness"

Me:",
,Don'
tmakei
tseem l
i
keIam t
heonl
yev
ilper
sonher
e.Skhohl
akal
isomama(ev
ilwoman
)"

Ngqangi
:"i
minawel
oyophumaungasabuy
i(meandy
oubot
h.Leav
eanddon'
tcomeback)
"

Ist
oodupwal
kedout.

Me:
"vel
eyouar
eusel
ess"

Icl
ickedmyt
ongue.Usel
ess.Ut
tt
erel
yusel
ess.Ihav
etot
aket
hesemat
ter
sinmyownhands
now.

*
LANDI
SWA*

508
.

Iam worr
ied.I
thasbeensi
lenti
nheresinceweleft
.Iam thi
nki
ngofthekidsweleft.Amanda
wassohappyt obabysi
twi
thMaZuluandPalesa.Thosearetheonl
ypeopleIt
rust.Nomaisina
badspaceandNkonzosaidweshoul dl
eaveearl
ygetdoneandcomeback.Iam gl adheisher
e
tosuppor
tme.Real l
yIam grat
eful
.Ilookatthebacktogogowhoisasleepl
ikereal
lyasl
eep.
Itur
ntoNkonzoandhei si
nthoughtsaswellandIsigh.Hel
ooksatme.

Nkonzo:
"ner
vous?"

Me:
"youmeant
ir
edandscar
ed."

Nkonzo:
"youknowIam her
efory
ou"

Iki
sshi
scheek.

Me:
"andIl
ovey
ouf
ort
hatGcwabe"

Nkonzo:
"st
opt
urni
ngmeonpl
ease."

Ichuckl
edandf
eltabi
tbet
ter
.

Nkonzo:
"don'
twor
ry"

That
'swhatIam doi
ng.Wewi
l
lsoonar
ri
vet
otheKhany
isaKi
ngdom.

*
NOMA*

Kamoi str
yingt
obemyf r
iendbutIam notint
hemoodf orthat.Thehousei sfi
l
ledwit
hnoi se
andbabycriesandIlovet
hesemunchi esyesbutIcan'
tdealwiththenoi se.Iam inmyr oom
whenanotheroutbreakofthei
rscreamscomeonandIgr oanandf inishmyCokel i
ne.Itwas
toughbutIgotit
.Il
i
f t
edmyheadupandgetusedt othefeeli
ngbef oreIcleanedupandwentt o
thebathr
oom.Myheadi spoundingandmynosei sbleedingandIt akesomet i
ssueandwi pe
i
t.

"
Noma!
"

Fuckt
hat
'sMongezi
'
svoi
ce.Ir
emov
ethet
issueandi
tgotwor
se.

509
Me:
"Shi
t!!"

It
rybyal
lmeanst
ost
opt
hebl
eedi
ngandIhearhi
m bangt
hedoor
..

Mongezi
:"Nomazul
uVul
alah!
!(Nomazul
uopenher
e!)
",

Me:
"Iam comi
ng."

Ir
ushedt
oopent
hedoorandhemadehi
swayi
n.

Mongezi
:"whydi
dyoul
ockt
hedoor?"

Me:
"Iwasr
eadi
ng"

Hel
ooksatme.

Mongezi
:"whyi
sther
ebl
oodcomi
ngoutofy
ournose?
"

Shi
tIt
houghti
tst
opped

Me:
"Idon'
tknow"

Mongezi
:"ar
eyousni
ff
ingagai
n?"

Me:
"nobhut
iMongezi
"

If
eltabi
tdi
zzyasIshookmyhead.Ibal
ancedwi
tht
hewal
l
.

Mongezi
:"Noma"

I
twasf
aintbef
oreIhi
tthegr
oundandi
twasl
i
ght
sout
.

*
LANDI
SWA*

Wearri
vedatthepal
aceandMenzi
waswai
ti
ngf
oruswi
thSengway
o.Igotoutandr
ant
othem
andhuggedthem.

Menzi
:"someonemi
ssesus"

Me:
"Notr
eal
l
y.Ij
ustmi
ssedbabasoIsawi
trudenott
ohugy
ou"

510
Hechuckl
ed.

Gogo:
"Sani
bonani
(hel
l
o)"

Sengway
o:"Ihopey
out
rav
eledwel
l"

Us:
"wedi
d"

Menzi
:"l
et'
sgoi
nsi
de.Theguar
dswi
l
lbr
ingy
ourbagsi
n"

Wenoddedandwal
kedi
nsi
de.

Gogo:
"kuhambakanj
ani
Sengway
o(howI
sitgoi
ngSengway
o?)
"

Sengway
o:"Landi
swaneedst
obecl
eanedbyhi
sgr
avet
oday"

Me:
"butIam t
ir
ed"

Sengway
o:"t
hesooneri
t'
sdone.Thesoonert
her
ewi
l
lbepeace"

Me:
"Ther
eisnev
erpeace"

Gogo:
"Landi
swa"

Il
ookather
.

Menzi
:"doessheneedt
ochange?
"

Gogo:
"yes.I
nwhi
tecl
oth."

Henods.Wesi tabitandweareserv
edfoodandweeataft
erIam whiskedawayt
ogoand
change.Nkonzoissit
ti
ngint
hebedlooki
ngatme.Iam i
nwhitecl
oth.Noshoes.Iam t
ryi
ngt
o
ti
emyhai rwhenhecomesclosertome.

Nkonzo:
"letmedoi
t"

Me:
"cany
ou?"

Nkonzo:
"idon'
tknowbutIwi
l
ltr
y.Ihav
eawi
feanddaught
er'
sthatwi
l
lneedt
hei
rhai
rfi
xed"

Me:
",y
ouhav
eonedaught
er"

Hel
ooksatmet
hrought
hemi
rr
orandki
ssesmyshoul
der.

Nkonzo:
"af
tery
ouhav
eheal
edwehav
ingt
ryi
ngagai
n"

Me:
"haahbabay
ougonnacar
ryt
hem t
hist
ime?"
,

Nkonzo:
"no,
onl
ydi
ff
erenceIwi
l
lbet
her
e"

511
Ismi
l
ed.

Me:
"howsur
ear
eyou?
"

Hef
ini
shesupandIt
urnt
ohi
m",

Nkonzo:
"Iam sur
e"

Il
ookbackt
othemi
rr
orandhedi
dmyhai
rwel
l
.Ihughi
m.

Me:
",
thanky
ouandIl
ovey
ou"

Nkonzo:
"Il
i
vef
ory
ou"

Ismi
ledwhil
elay
ingmyheadonhi
schestandhehugged.Me.Ther
ewasaknockont
hedoor
andi
topened.Gogopeakedi
n.

Gogo:
"weshoul
dgoLandi
swa"

Inodded.

Nkonzo:
"youwi
l
lbef
ine."

Me:
"Ihope"

Weshar
eaki
ssandIwal
koutwi
thgogoandwemeetSengway
odownt
hest
air
s.

Sengway
o:"l
et'
sgot
other
oyal
cemet
ery"

Wenoddedandwemadeourwayt here.Theguar
dsstayedbytheentr
anceandwewalkedin
andsearchedforMuzi'
sgrav
eandwewentonourknees.Sengway opri
ckedmyhandand
spil
l
edthebloodonhi sgr
aveandthentooktheli
onstai
landhedippedinsoi
l
edwaterand
star
tedspray
ingaroundwhil
ecal
li
ngtheQwabecal m names.

Sengwayo:"Qwabe,
Gumede,Phakat
hway
o,Mnguni
isy
eyey
esi
zakumi
namakhosanaamahl
e
(wedo!etoyouourbel
ovedpr
ince'
s)"

Hekeepsonspr
ayi
ngandwear
esi
l
ent
.

Sengway
o:"
Muzi
her
eisLandi
swat
heki
ngdomschosenonewi
thy
ou.Whatshal
lwedo?"

Thecl
oudschangedandi
twasgr
ey.Ver
ydar
k.

Gogo:
"Sengway
owhati
sgoi
ngon.?"

Sengway
o:"Idon'
tknow"

Ihear
dababycr
yinsi
det
hegr
ave.
,

512
Me:
"ther
eisababy"

Ist
oodupandwal
kedt
owar
dshi
sgr
aveandt
hecr
ywascomi
ngf
rom t
her
e.

Me:
"Khonai
ngane(t
her
eisababy)
"

Suddl
enyIwaspul
l
eddowni
nsi
deandi
t'
sli
kei
topened.

Me:
"Gogo!
"

Gogo:
"Landi
swa!
"

I
tcl
osedupandIwasont
opofhi
scasketandIscr
eamedIwasscar
ed.

"Best
il
l"

I
twasl
i
ght
soutaf
tert
hat
.

513
I
NSERTEI
GHTY-
ONE

*LANDI
SWA*

"Landi
swa"

Icouldhearsomeonecall
i
ngmebutIwasaf r
aidt
oseewhoi
tis.Af
terwhatj
usthappenedIam
shaken.Idon'tknowwhattodonextorwher
etorunt
o.

"Landi
swa"

Iopenedmyey essl
owl
yandIwasi nthatplaceagai
nwheret her
eisbeauti
fulgrassandcl
ear
waterjoi
nedwitht
hewaterfal
l
.Isitupandlookupt owhoi scall
ingandit
'sal
l t
heseoldmen
i
nfrontofmeandsomey oung.King'sandQueensandPr i
ncessesIpresumefrom thepast
generati
ons.IseemyfatherandIrunupt ohim andhecatchesmewhi l
elaughing.

Dad:
"youar
etoool
dnow"

Me:
",butIwi
l
lal
way
sbey
ourbabygi
rl"

Hechuckl
edandwebr
oket
hehug..

Me:
"whatam Idoi
ngher
e?Am Idead?
"

"Noy
ounot
.Iam "

It
urnedandi
twasMuzi
.Li
keIl
i
ter
aryj
umpedof
fdadandwentt
ohughi
m andIcr
ied.

514
Me:
",Why?"

Muzi
:"Iam atpeace."

Me:
"ist
her
eany
wayf
ory
out
ocomeback?"

Dad:"hei
ssupposedt
ocomeback.Reasonsi
twasnothi
sti
me.I
fhedoesn'
tyouf
oll
owhi
m
soon"

Il
ookatev
ery
onet
henMuzi
.

Me:
"butev
ery
onet
hinkshei
sdead.Howwi
l
lweexpl
ainhowhei
supandal
i
ve?"

Ol
dman:
"youar
esmar
tmygi
rl
.Bot
hofy
ougoony
ourknees."

Theyal
lsur
roundedus.

Dad:
"Joi
nhands"

Wedidj
oinourhandstoget
herandthecloudschangedhere.Theystar
tedchant
ingt
heQwabe
Sur
namefrom sof
tl
ytoloudl
yandthethunderstor
m happened.Iwasstruckbyi
tandI
scr
eamed.

_
___
___
___

"Landi
swa,
Landi
swa"

Iopenedmyey
esandi
twasGogoandSengway
olooki
ngatme.

Me:
"howdi
dIgetoutoft
hegr
ave?"

Gogo:
"gr
ave?"

Me:
"Muzi
"

Sengway
o:"
wecameher
esoy
ourancest
orswoul
drecogni
zey
ou.Whatgr
avear
eyout
alki
ng
about?"

Me:
"Muzi
'sgr
ave"

Theyl
ookateachot
hert
hent
heyl
ookatme.

Sengway
o:",
Ithi
nky
ouneedt
orestmychi
l
d"

Theyhelpedmeup.Whati sgoingon?Ilookedwherethetombstonei
ssupposedt
obebuti
t'
s
nott
here.Whatthehell
isgoingon?.Wewenti nsi
dethepalaceandIf
oundNkonzoandMenzi
havi
ngabi tofwhi
skeywhil
et al
ki
ng.Iwentt
ositbyhim andheheldmyhand.

Nkonzo:
"di
dyouf
eel
connect
edwi
thy
ourancest
ors?
"

515
Her
eIam conf
used.Ij
ustnodded.

Heki
ssedmyf
orehead.

Nkonzo:
"Il
ovey
ou"

Me:
"Il
ovey
oumor
e"

"
Wecangot
aket
hatdr
ive.Iam r
eady"

Il
ookedup.Hay
iam Idr
eami
ngort
hisi
swi
tchcr
aftonanot
herl
evel
.Hesmi
l
esandwi
nks.

Me:
"whatt
he.
..
..
..
."

*
MONGEZI*

Ihav
ebroughtNomatothehospi
tal
.Real
l
ythi
sthi
ngofher
s.Ei
shwhenshewakesupIdon'
t
knowwhatIam goi
ngtodotoherseri
ousl
y.TheDrcomesoutandIgotohi
m.

Me:
"howi
sshedoc?"

Dr:"shehadanover
doseinCocai
nef
ornowwear
enotsur
easwef
oundt
hatt
hecocai
neuse
shetookhadrat
exinitaswel
l"

Me:
"shi
tNoma"

Goshwhydoesn'
tshel
i
sten.Shewant
stoki
l
lher
sel
f.

Me:
"canIseeher?"

Dr:
"af
teranhour"

Inodandhewal
ksof
f.Myphoner
ingsandi
t'
sAmanda.Ianswerwhi
l
ewal
ki
ngout
.

Amanda:
"howi
sshe?"

Me:
"ov
erdose"

516
Amanda:
"yoh.Ihopeshewi
l
lbeok"

Me:
"Idon'
tknowt
hist
ime."

Amanda:
"t
akehert
orehab.Don'
tmakeanaccept
iont
hist
ime."

Me:
"yeah"

Ther
ewasal
oudr
ingi
ngcomi
ngf
rom t
hephone.

Me:
"hel
l
o,Amanda"

Nothi
ng.Idr
oppedt
hecal
l.Theweat
herwaschangi
ng.AsIwaswal
ki
ngt
omycarsomet
hing
hi
tmet heni
twasli
ght
sout.

*
NGQANGI*

Guguhasputmei namessallbecauseofMoney
.Iwasstupi
daswel
lfort
hinki
ngthiswi
ll
succeed.Iam t
ryi
ngt
oconnectwit
hmyancestor
ssotheycantel
lmewhatisgoingonbut
nothi
ng.

Me:
"madl
ozi
Ami
ngi
khany
isel
eni
(myancest
orsshowmet
hel
i
ght)"

It
hrowt
hebonesoncemor
eandi
tappear
sandIf
li
p.

Me:
"No.Nono!
!!
"

Ihel
dmyneckasai
rwasl
eav
ingmybody
.Itwasl
i
kesomeonewaschoki
ngme.

Me:
"Madl
ozi
"

Iputmyhandsbymyneckt
otr
yremov
ewhati
twasbutt
her
eisnot
hingt
il
lIt
ookmyl
ast
breat
h.

517
.

*
XOLI
LE*

Iwasinalotofpai
n.TheDr sdeci
dedtotakemetothetheatert
ot r
yandsavethebaby
.Ifi
t
coul
dbesav ed.Iwil
lhear
tbrokenifmybabyi
snotsafe.Nowt heyar
ecutt
ingmeopenand
theabdominalpai
niscominginfor
ces.Iam cr
yinghereli
keIam pushi
ngthebabyout.

Dr:
"Takeherawayandputheri
nani
ncubat
or"

Me:
"canIseeher?"

If
eltl
i
keIwasl
oosi
ngmyener
gy.Theyl
etmeseeher
.Shewassi
l
ent
.Iki
ssedherf
orehead.

Me:
"Il
ovey
ou"

Theyr
ushedawaywi
thherandbackt
ome.Theonewhoi
sloosi
ngener
gyandi
npai
n.

Dr
:"weneedt
ost
it
chherupASAPshei
sloosi
ngbl
ood."

Icoul
dfeel
them st
it
chi
ngmeup.Iwasl
oosi
ngener
gybi
tbybi
t.

Nur
se:
"shei
snotbr
eat
hingpr
oper
ly"

Dr:
"getherav
ent
il
ator"

Shenoddedandr
ushedof
fandt
heyputmeonone.I
tdi
dn'
thel
paswel
l
.It
ookadeepbr
eat
h

Me:
"Muzi
"

That
'sal
lIsai
dbef
orei
twasl
i
ght
sout
.

*
LANDI
SWA*,

518
.

Iam att
hepalacegardensit
ti
nghereaski
ngmy sel
fHowever
ythi
nghappened.Irememberus
bei
ngatanotherplace.Hi
m dyi
ngandallandnowheisher
e.Ifeelsomeonesitnextt
omeand
Il
ookathim.Hel ooksrealwit
hhi
ssmi l
eonhisface.

Me:
"How?"

Muzi :
"Idon'
tknow.ButallIknowisther
easony ouhaveaspecial
gif
tofseei
ngthingsi
s
becauseourgreatancest
orthefi
rstonehaditanditpassedon.Shewasborninthefamil
yof
greatsor
cery.
"

Me:
"youmeanIwi
l
lbeawi
tch?
"

Hechuckl
ed.

Muzi
:"Idon'
tknow"

Ther
eissi
l
ence.

Muzi
:"shei
sdeadnow"

Me:
"who?
"

Muzi
:"Xol
i
leandhermot
herwi
tht
hei
rsangoma"

Me:
"howdoy
ouknow?"

Muzi
:"Iam basi
cal
l
yyourt
win.If
eel
thi
ngs"

Me:
"t
hisi
swei
rd.Howcant
heydi
e?"

Muzi:
"Al
ifeforal
ifeLandi
swaformetocomeback.Xol
i
le'
smot
herandherf
ri
endhadt
odi
e.
Formydaughtert
oliv
eXolil
ehadtobegone"

Me:
"younothur
t?"

Muzi
:",
no.Il
ovedhery
esbuti
fitwasy
ouwhoi
sdead.Iwoul
dber
oll
i
ngi
nthef
loori
ntear
s."

Wel
augh.

Me:
"IguessIam notami
l
li
onai
reany
mor
e."

Muzi
:"myt
hingswi
l
lst
ayundery
ourname."

Me:
"putt
hem underNt
andoandSel
uleko"

519
Hesmi
l
ed

Muzi
:"Sel
uleko?
"

Me:
"that
'shername."

Muzi
:"ni
ceIl
i
ke"

Me:
"doesev
ery
oner
emember
?"

Muzi
:"no.Abi thaschangedthoughbutnotdr
ast
ical
l
y.ForNomay
es.Theydon'
tremember
medying.Onl
ymeandy ouknow"

Me:
"oursecr
et"

Welaughedandfi
stbumped.Iam gl
adhei
sher
e.Nkonzocamet
owar
dsusandt
heyf
ist
bumpedwithMuzi.

Nkonzo:
"Iam gl
ady
ouar
eback"
,

Il
ookedathi
m andMuzi
didt
oo.Howdoesheknow?Hewi
nksatmeandsi
tsnextt
omeandI
am i
nthemiddl
e.

Me:
"backf
rom wher
e?"

Nkonzo:
"Thegr
ave."

Myey
espooped.

Me:
"youknow?"

Muzi
:"y
ourmom pr
otect
edy
ou"

Henodded.

Me:
"ay
ioki
fyouar
enotf
reekedout"

Nkonzo:
"Iam not"

Me:
"Il
ovey
oubot
h"

Them :
"wel
ovey
out
oopr
incess"

Wel
aughedandshar
edahugt
hisf
eel
sri
ght
.

520
I
NSERTEI
GHTY-
TWO

*
LANDI
SWA*

It
houghtIam pr
eparedforthedaythatNkonzol
eavesbutreal
lyIam not.Ihav
ebeensobbi
ng
onhi
schestforthepasthourIthi
nkandIam notev
ent hi
nkingoflet
ti
nggoofhi m.

Nkonzo:
"BabyIhav
etogo"

Me:
"can'
tyout
akemewi
th?"

Hemakesmef
acehi
m.

Nkonzo:
"theki
dsneedy
ou"

Me:
"butIneedy
ou"

Hechuckl
edandper
kedmyl
i
pswhi
l
ewi
pingmyt
ear
sandhesmi
l
ed.Idi
dthesame.

Nkonzo:
"Il
ovey
ou"

Me:
"Il
i
vef
ory
ou"

Weshar
eakissbef
orehel
etsgoof
fmyf
aceandst
art
swal
ki
ngt
owar
dsSanel
e.Hecomes
f
ort
handIhughi
m aswell
.

Me:
"Lookaf
tereachot
her"

Sanel
e:"
(cl
eart
hroat)wewi
l
l"

Ismi
l
e.

Me:
"youl
ookj
ustl
i
keZanel
e"

Hef
rownsandIl
augh.

Sanel
e:"Whoi
sthat?
"

Me:
"oursi
ster.Youar
esmar
tert
hant
hat"

521
Iwinkedandhechuckledandwal
kedoff.Iwatchedt
hesesoldi
erswal
kofft
owhereevert
hey
aregoing.I
t'
sreal
lyhar
dtosaygoodbyetosomeoney oul
ove.Iwentbackt
othecarandgoti
n
andAmandal ookedatme.Sheisgai
ningweightabi
t.

Amanda:
"Wi
ne?"

Me:
"Mongezi
wil
lki
l
lyou"

Amanda:
"Imentf
ory
ouhawu.Yohmnt
asengeke"

Shedr
oveof
fandIl
aughed.

*MUZI
*

Youpr obabl
ywonderi
nghowi tfeel
stobedeadthenali
veagai
n.Idon'
tknowbutit'
sdiff
erent
.
WhybecauseIam gi v
enasecondchancei nawaythoughIwasrobbedthefir
stti
me.It ouch
theglassasIlookatSel
uleko.Sheissti
lli
nthei
ncubat
orbutt
heDr ssayi
tlookspromisi
ng.I
haven'tbeenl
eavi
ngthehospitalsi
nceIcamethi
sside.If
eelahandonmyshoul der.She
handst hecof
feetomeandIt hankher.

Mom :
"shewi
l
lbeok"

Me:
"shei
sthewomani
nmyl
i
fe,
Ineedher"

Mom :
"youwi
l
lgether"

Ther
ewassi
l
ence.

Mom :
"If
eel
li
ket
hingschanged"

Me:
"in?
"

Shel
ooksatSel
ulekoandt
henme.

Mom :"gr
owth.If
eell
ikethispasty
earandmont
hswehav
egr
ownsomuch.I
t'
sal
mostt
wo
year
sanditwasarol
l
er coaster"

522
Me:
"yeah"

Isi
ppedonmycof
feewhi
l
est
ari
ngatmypi
nkdaught
er.

Me:
"Il
ovey
ou"

Mom smi
l
edandpat
tedmyback.

*
NOMA*

Heholdsmywaistsot i
ght
lyandbyhi
sgri
pIknowheisaboutt
ocum.Hetakesovermy
posi
ti
onandhelift
smeupandt hr
ust
sinmeli
kehei
sinacompeti
ti
on.Il
i
ckmyl i
ps.Pr
essmy
boobsandsqueezethem whil
eamoanescapesmyl
ips.

Me:
"Iam comi
ng"

Hi
m:"comewi
thme"

Webot hrel
easeatthesamet i
meandhepusheshisshaftdeeperinmeandandIgetof fhim as
ourjuicesrundownmyl egsandhegoest othebat
hroom andtakesawarmtowel andwipes
meof fandput sthetowelonthecouchandhepull
smet olayonhim.It'
ssi
l
ent.Wedon' t
cuddle.Thisisourfi
rstt
imeactual
lycuddl
i
ngbutitfeel
swarm andgivesmeaf uzzyfeel
ing.
Heremov estheweav ef
rom myface.

Nt
sika:
"Noma"

Me:
"Mmmh"

Hepull
smeclosert
ohim andhugsmeandIam bur
iedi
nhi
sbi
gar
mswi
thmyt
inybody
.He
ki
ssesmyheadandsighs.

Me:
"What
'
swr
ong?"

Nt
sika:
"Thi
sisal
lfunandgames?
"

Me:
"that
'swhatIknow."

523
It
urnt
ofacehi
m andheki
ssesmyl
i
ps.

Nt
sika:
"Ishoul
dn'
thav
ebutIam f
all
i
nghar
d"

Me:
",
fal
l
ingf
or?"

Nt
sika:
"You.Il
ovey
ouNomazul
u"

Iwasast
oni
shedanddi
dn'
tknowwhatt
osay
.Isatupandl
ookedathi
m.

Nt
sika:
",
Iknowi
t'
sshocki
ng"

Me:
"Nt
sikay
ouar
emar
ri
ed"

Nt
sika:
"Notl
egal
l
y.Tr
adi
ti
onal
l
yyes"

Igotof
fthebedandhef
oll
owsme.

Nt
sika:
"Noma"

Me:
"Kamo"

Nt
sika:
"Wenott
alki
ngabouthernow"

Me: "
Iknowwesaidthi
sisaboutsexandal
lbutf
eel
i
ngsar
egonnahur
tal
otofpeopl
e
especial
l
yKamo.Ithi
nkweshouldendthi
s"

It
urnsandhehol
dsmywai
st.

Nt
sika:
"NomaIl
ovey
ou.Ican'
thel
pit
.It
'sbur
ningmei
nsi
de"

Me:
"LetmegoNt
sika"

Igetof
fhi
sgr
ipandhespeaks.

Nt
sika:
"l
ookatmeandt
ell
mey
oudon'
tfeel
thesame"

Il
ookathi
m.

Nt
sika:
"Tel
lmey
oudon'
tl
oveme.Tel
lmey
oudon'
twantme"

Hi
seyesar
eglossy
.Ihavenev
erseenhi
m beingsoemotional
.Hest
epscl
oser
.Hef
inal
l
y
r
eachesmeandoneteardr
opsandthenextf
rom hi
seyes.

Nt
sika:
"Tel
lmey
oul
oveme.Tel
lmey
ouwantmeasmuchasIwanty
ou"

Myli
psar
etr
embl
i
ng.Heki
ssest
hem andIr
etur
nitandwesuckandpassi
onat
elyki
ss.Ibr
eak
i
t.

Me:
"Nt
sika"

524
Nt
sika:
"Il
ovey
ou.Justt
aket
hat"

Inodded.Thi
sisamess.Ihav
enev
erseenhi
m cr
ybef
ore.

I
NSERTEI
GHTY-
THREE

*
NOMA*

IwasinthoughtsasIlookedathi ml ayi
ngnextt omewhi l
easleep.Justafterwehadbeenati t
agai
ntwicethistime.Idon' tknowhowIf eelorwhatt odoorhowt oreactafterwhathehad
j
usttol
dme.It hinkofalotofpeople.Firstl
yMuzi .Hewi l
l bedi
sappointedinme, Mom.What
wil
lshesay?Awhol elotofpeopl eandt henthereisKamo.Bei nghear tbrokenisnotnice.I
l
ookathim againandThi nk.May beheispl ayi
ngmef orhisownbenef i
ts.May behewant sto
l
uremei ntobeingwithhim.Nomawhyar eyouthinkingofbeingwi t
hhim ?St opthat.He
openshi
sey eswhi l
eIam stilli
nthoughtsandhel ooksatmeandt hereissil
ence.Ilookathim.
Hedoesn'tsl
eepmucht hatIhav enoti
ced.Likeheonl yslept5minutesagoandnowhei sup.

Nt
sika:
"what
'swr
ong?"

Me:
"thi
s"

Hesi
tsupandpul
l
sthecov
ert
ocov
erhi
sbot
tom hal
fandr
unshi
sfi
nger
sthr
oughhi
shai
r.

Nt
sika:
"whataboutt
his?"

Me:
"Wehav
ebeendoi
ngwr
ong.I
tshoul
dnthav
est
art
edi
nthef
ir
stpl
ace."

Nt
sika:
"CanIbehonest
?"

Inodded.

Nt
sika:
"Idon'
tregr
etcheat
ingonKamo"

IFr
own

Me:
"wowy
ouar
esuchaj
erk"

Nt
sika:
"Iam l
i
keLandi
swa.Icheat
edandf
ell
inl
ove"

525
Me:
"thi
sisdi
ff
erent"

Nt
sika:
"your
ight
.BecauseKamoi
snoty
ourbest
fri
endorany
thi
ng"

Hehasapoi
ntbutst
il
lwr
ong.

Nt
sika:
"comeher
e"

Hepul
l
smet
ohi
schest.

Nt
sika:
"Iwi
l
lgi
vey
ousomet
imet
othi
nkabouti
t.

Inodded

*
AMANDA*

Iam si
tt
ingattheloungeatMongezi'shouseaft
erIhaddr
oppedoffLandi
swaatt hei
rhouse
andplayedwiththekidsabit
.Iwaswat chingWAGSwhenMongezi ent
eredandhet hrewhi
s
keysont hecof
feetableandsatnexttomeandper kedmyl
ipsandrubmyinvisi
blestomach.

Mongezi
:"Youok?"

Inodded.Hef
rowned.

Me:
"Iam.Ij
ustf
eel
grumpyt
oday"
,

Il
aidmyheadonhi
schest
.

Mongezi
:"di
dIdosomet
hingwr
ong?"

Me:
"no"

Hebecamesi
l
ent
.

Me:
"Mongezi
"

Mongezi
:"mmmh"

526
Me:"Wher
earewe?Imeanwher
ewi
l
lwebei
nfut
ure?Wi
l
lwebest
il
ltoget
herorbeco
par
ent
sorwhat?"

Mongezi
:"wewi
l
lnev
erco-
par
ent"

Me:
"Iam j
ustt
hinki
ng.Honest
lyIam scar
ed"

Mongezi
:"of
f,?
"

Il
ookathi
m.

Me:
"Loosi
ngev
ery
thi
ng"

Mongezi
:"Il
ovey
ouokandNo,
ourf
utur
ewon'
tbeaboutco-
par
ent
ingbutourspacef
il
ledwi
th
mi
nnieus"

Il
ookedathi
m.

Me:
"Mi
nni
eus?"

Mongezi
:"y
es.10mor
eaf
tert
his"

Il
aughedathi
m.

Me:
"dr
eamsdocomet
rueatni
ght"

Het
ickl
edmeandIl
aughed.

Mongezi
:"Iwi
l
lknocky
oust
rai
ghtaf
tert
hisoney
ouwon'
tbel
i
eve"

Me:
"pl
easest
op"

Iwasst
il
ll
aughi
ng.

*
LANDI
SWA*

Me:
"Iam happyt
ohearf
rom y
ou"

527
Nkonzo:
"youmakei
tseem l
i
keIl
efty
ear
sago"

Me:
"itf
eel
sli
kei
t."

IputEmbodowninhi
scotandIwi
pedmyboobt
hatwasdr
ippi
ngsomemi
l
kandIt
ookt
he
babymoni
torandwal
kedoutt
omybedroom.

Nkonzo:
"Don'
twor
ryIwi
l
lbebacksoonert
hany
out
hink."

Me:
"wel
lthr
eeweekst
hat
'samont
h.

Hechuckl
ed.Il
aidont
hebedwhi
l
etaki
ngof
fmysl
i
pper
s.

Nkonzo:
"whenIcomebacki
twi
l
lbel
i
keIl
eftf
oroneday"

Me:
"al
readyt
hebedf
eel
scol
d"

Igoti
nbedandl
aidi
nther
e.

Nkonzo:
"Takemywar
mlov
efornow"

Me:
"hay
i"

Hechuckl
ed.

Nkonzo:
"Il
ovey
ouMr
sMkhi
zeandIr
eal
l
yhopey
oul
ovet
hel
oveIwi
l
lexpr
esst
oyou"

Me:
"Youdot
hatwi
thy
ouract
ionsbaby"

Nkonzo:
"Ir
eal
l
ylov
eyou"
,

Me:
"ncoohIl
ovey
oumor
e"

Hechuckl
ed.Iy
awned.

Me:
"babyIam sl
eepy"

Nkonzo:
"li
stent
othesoundofmyv
oicesoot
hyou"

Il
i
stenedt
ohi
svoi
ceashespokeandt
hensooni
twasl
i
ght
sout
.

I
NSERTEI
GHTY-
FOUR

528
.

*
LANDI
SWA*

Iwokeupf r
om thisamazi ngpeacefulsl
eep.Ihaven'
tsl
eptthatl
ongsincethekidswereborn.I
gotsomeact ualpropersl
eepinsuchal ongtime.IgotoffthebedandIwentt otakeashower
andlett
hewat errelaxmybodyagai nbeforeIwasout.Iam surethekidsarehungrynow.I
knowIpumpedsomeMi l
kforthem incasebutIseri
ousl
yneedt ospendalotofti
mewi t
hthem.
Iwenttothei
rNur seryandtheywer enotther
eandIwasst art
ingtopanic.Wherecoul
dthey
be.?Irandownt hestai
rsshoutinggogo'sname.

Me:
"Gogo,
MaZul
umyki
ds!
"

I
twassi
lent
.ThewholehousewasandIr antoGogo'
sroom andshewasn'tt
her
e.Iwascryi
ng.
Wher
ecouldtheyal
lbe?Theyar
estil
lyoung.Weret
heykidnapped?
.Isatont
hefl
oorcr
ying
andt
hedooropenedandNomawi t
hPalesawalkedi
n.

Noma:
"Landi
swawhat
'swr
ong?"

Me:
"gogoandmyki
dsar
emi
ssi
ng"

Pal
esa:
"oht
heyar
eatmypl
ace"

Me:
"todowhat?"

Noma:
"wehav
esomet
hingt
oshowy
ousocomeon.Wewi
l
lseet
hem."

Pal
esahel
pedmeupandwi
pedmyt
ear
s.

Pal
esa:
"don'
tcr
ypl
ease"

Inodded

Noma:
"theyar
eok"

Me:
"ok"

Theywal
kedmet
othecarwhi
l
eNomal
ockedupandt
hent
heydr
oveof
f.

Pal
esa:
"Openy
ourbor
ingmusi
c"

Me:
"it
'snotbor
ingandwhatdoy
ouwannashowme?"

529
Noma:
"wewanty
out
oseei
tfory
our
sel
f.Hav
eyoueat
en?"

Me:
",
noty
et"

TheynoddedandIopenedDandelionbyTevinCampbell
andwel i
stenedt
oitwhi
l
ethecarr
ide
wasfil
ledwi
thQuesti
onsher eandthere.WegottoNdaba'
slodge.Heownsoneandi
t'
sso
natur
alandTr
adit
ionalbuthasmoder nqual
i
tiesatt
hesametime.

Me:
"yousai
dtheywer
eaty
ourpl
ace"

Pal
esa:
"wear
est
art
ingwi
thy
oursur
pri
se"

Me:
"ohok"

Wewal kedinsideandwewentt otherecepti

onandtheygaveuskeysandwewal kedt
ot he
rooms.Pal esaopenedt hedoorandtherewasclothi
ngbagont hebed.Wel
litwascover
edi na
clot
hingpackett opreventi
tfrom bei
ngdirt
yorwri
nkledIguessandfl
owersontopofthem and
theylockedt hedoor.

Me:
"Hai
boNi
na!"

Itr
iedtoopent
hedoorbutnot
hing.Isighedandt ookt
hefl
owersandt heywerewhiter
oses.I
smelledt
hem.Fl
owersdon'
tsmellniceattimesIwon'tl
iet
heyjustseem ref
reshi
ng.It
ookthe
envel
opeonthebedandIopeneditandi tsaid"
DESIGNER ALLTHEWAYFROM NEW YORK.
GETDRESSEDFORAPHOTOSHOOTOFALI FETIME"

arghGodIdon'twantaphot oshoot .Iwannagohomet omyki ds.Iopeni

tanywayandit'
sa
whitedress.Abeaut
iful
onef orthatmat t
er.Lacywi
thabitofcryst
alsher
ebythewaistasa
belt
.Itwasbeauti
fulandItookitoutandt hedooropenedandagayman( hi
swalkgaveaway)
andtwowomenwal kedinsidewithkits.

Hi
m:"babehav
eyoubat
hed?"

Idon'
tknowwhatt
osay

Me:
"yes"

Hi
m:"good.Comegetdr
essedt
heshowst
art
sin1hour
.Ti
ff
anydoherhai
rpl
ease"

Thewhi
tel
adynodsandtheotheronetakest
hedr
esswhi
let
hegayonewalkstot
hebathr
oom .
Thent
heygetmedressedi
nthisdressandmakemewearagownoveri
t.I
tfi
tsmeli
keaglov
e.

Me:
"whati
sthephot
oshootf
or?"

Ti
ff
any:
"SABr
ides"

Me:
"butIam notone"

530
Gi
rl:
"pur
poseoft
hephot
oshoot"

Inod.ihav
en'tseenmyfr
iendssincet
heylef
tmehere.Thegayguycomesbackanddoesmy
makeupaf tertheTi
ff
anyladyi
sdonewi t
hmyhairandcurl
editupandal
l
.Sheputsacrown
thathasav ei
lonandInamat t
erofSi
tti
ngther
ethegayguyisdone.

Hi
m:"
ohmyGody
oul
ooksobeaut
if
ul"

Me:
"uhm t
hanky
ou"

Hewipeshi
sfaketearsandtheyt
akeoffthegownfrom meandmademel ookatmy sel
fint
he
mir
ror
.Idi
dn'
trecogni
zemy sel
f.I
fIl
ookthisbeaut
if
ulforaphot
oshootIwonderhowIwould
l
ookli
keonmyweddi ngday.

Me:
"Wow"

Ti
ff
any:
"weshoul
dgohoneyt
imei
snotonoursi
de."

Inoddedandt
heypackedupandweal
lwal
kedoutt
oget
her
.

Me:
"If
eel
sicknow"

Ti
ff
any:
"don'
tbe"

Inoddedandwer
eachedMongezi
whowasi
naDazzl
i
ngsui
twi
thSanel
e.HeehIt
houghtt
his
onelef
t.

Me:
"It
houghty
oul
eft
."

Sanel
e:"Iwasn'
tneeded"

Inoddedandhuggedt
hem.Mongezi
gav
emet
hebouquet.

Me:
"youi
nthephot
oshoot?"

Them :
"ofal
i
fet
ime"

Il
aughedandt
heyj
oinedi
n.

Mongezi
:"Iam happy"

Ismi
l
ed.

Me:
"met
oo.Tohav
ebr
other
sli
key
'al
l"

Sanel
e:"Iam happyt
ohav
easweetsi
sterandgr
andmot
her
.Inev
erknewf
ami
l
ylov
e"

Tear
spr
ickl
edmyey
es.

531
Sanel
e:"don'
tcr
yyouwi
l
lrui
nyourpai
ntedf
ace."

Wel
aughandIwi
pemyt
ear
s.

Me:
"Il
ovey
'al
l"

Them :
"wel
ovey
ou"

WehugandTi
ff
anyy
ell
s.

Ti
ff
any:
"it
'sal
mostt
ime."

*
NKONZO*

Iam apersonwhoi snevernervousbutIguesswhent heti

mecomesi tcomes.Myheartis
beat
ingsoslowlyandIswol lowwhateverthatisstuckinmyt hr
oatandIcleari
tabi
t.Ibreat
h
outyetal
lofthatisnotreal
lyworki
ng.Ilookatmyr i
ngandjustsmil
ebef or
eIpl
aywi
thitwhich
cal
msmyner vesatthethoughtofwhatIhav e.Kidsandawar m homeandl ovi
ngwi
fe.That'
s
whatIam gratef
ulforandthankfulf
orinli
fe.Ireal
lyam thr
ougheveryt
hing.

*
LANDI
SWA*

Me:
"whatar
ewewai
ti
ngf
or?
"

Sanel
e:"wecan'
tent
erapl
acewi
thoutMusi
c"

Ishookmyheadast
heywer
eei
thersi
deofme.Thesongst
art
edandMongezi
putt
hev
eil
over

532
me.

Me:
"Mongezi
"

Mongezi
:"getal
lpi
ctur
es.Nkonzowi
l
lgocr
azy"

Sanel
e:"Iknowandt
hebabyf
atI
nThatdr
essi
sn'
thel
ping.Youhotsi
s"

Igi
ggl
ed.

Me:
"thanks."

Mongezi
:'
"l
et'
sgo"

"Thecl
oserIgett
oyou

Themor
eyoumakemesee.

Bygi
vi
ngmeal
lyougot(t
ell
memor
e)

Yourl
ovehascapt
uredme

Ov
erandov
eragai
n

It
ri
edt
otel
lmy
sel
fthatwe,

Coul
dnev
erbemor
ethanf
ri
ends

Butal
lwhi
l
einsi
deIknewt
hiswasr
eal

Thewayy
oumakemef
eel

Ly
ingher
enextt
oyou.

Ti
mej
ustseemst
ofl
y

Feel
i
ngy
oumor
eandmor
e.(Mor
eandmor
e)

Let
'sgi
vel
oveat
ry(l
et'
sgi
vel
oveat
ry)

Sweet
erandsweet
erl
ovegr
ows

Andheav
enst
her
efort
hose.
..
..
..
"

533
Thesongcarriedon.Idon'tknowhowmanyt imesNkonzohaspl ayedt
hissongf orme.Kinda
remindsmeof fhi
m.Wear ewalki
ngdownanai sl
eandIam conf usedatthepeopl est
anding
andsmi l
i
ngatme.Iseegogoal ldr
essedupwi pinghertearsandIhavetearsaswel l
and
confusi
on.Ilookbeforemeandi t'
sNkonzoal linablackandwhi tesui
tthathol
dshi mjust
ri
ght,ohmyGod. ..
tearswanttoroll
mor ebutItrysuppressi
ngthem sotheydon'trui
nthemake
up.Thisisnotaphot oshoot.

Heissmil
ingatmeandIseeMuzi smileandwinkatmewhi l
erubbingNkonzo'sshoulderwho
i
sclenchi
nghisj
awandIseetearsroll
downhisey esandhewi pesthem offr
oughlybutthey
keepcomingandhet
urnstothepastorandpeoplesayncoohandwer eachhi
m befor
ehe
att
acksmewithahugandIjustcr
y.

Hi
sbodyi
sshaki
ng

Nkonzo:
"(
hoar
sev
oice)
Ilov
eyou,
Il
iv
efory
ou,
forourki
ds"

Ther
ewassi
l
encebutonl
ythesongwaspl
ayi
ngj
ustt
aki
ngi
nev
ery
thi
ng.

pastor:"dearl
ybelov
ed.Wearegat
heredher
etowi
tnesst
helov
et hati
sbet
weentheset
wo
youngchi l
drenofGod.Whoareher
etoshowitt
otheworl
dandbindbyeachother
.Thel
oveof
LandiswaDl amini
andNkonzoMkhize"

Wear efaci
nghim andmyheartissti
l
lbeati
ngfastIcan'
tbel
iev
eIam get
tingt
heact
ualday
.I t
feel
sdiff
erent
lygood.Idi
dn'
thearwhatthepastorsai
dbutIknowhequoted1Chori
thi
ans3:4-
8.l
ove.YepIwill
defi
nit
elyr
eadthatone.

Past
or:
"doy
ouhav
eyourownv
ows?
"

Nkonzo:
"Idohav
esomet
hing"

thepast
ornodsandhet
urnst
omeandhol
dsmyhand.Hesmi
l
esandshowshi
sdi
mpl
eAndI
smil
easwell.

Nkonzo:"Iam notamanofmanywor
dsbutwhenIsaysomet
hingIl
eav
east
atementand
meanit."

Hechuckl
ed.

Nkonzo: "Ilov
ey ou.Ilov
ey oubecausey oul ov
edwhoIam despi teofany thi
ng.Ilovey ou
becausey oustandbymeasal waysandnev erl
eav emysi deIlov
ey oubecauset hroughallthe
stor
msIhav ebeent hr
oughy ouaremysunl ight.Sunshineandhappi ness.Ili
vefory ou.Cause
everybreathItakefeel
slikeami l
l
iondollarsifthat'
showIshoul dsayitbecausei tmeans
anotherbreathmor etospendtimelovingandcher i
shingyou.Iwanttot hankyouf orevery
thing
that
'scomi ngandwhatcame.Ipr omiset olovey ou.Tobeloyalandsuppor tyouinev ery

534
aspect
.Ipr
omi
set
olov
eyout
il
lIt
akemyl
astbr
eat
h.Il
ovey
ou"

Past
or:
"shor
tandsweet"

Thecr
owdchuckl
es.Iwi
pemyt
ear
sandhol
dhi
shand.

Me:
"Idon'
tknowwhatt
osay
.Iwasn'
tpr
epar
ed.Iwasl
i
edt
othati
t'
saphot
oshoot"

Ev
ery
onel
aughs.

Me:"WhatdidIdo?Todeser v
esomeonel i
keyou?Todeser vea(Iswallowmyl ump)aman
whoissolovi
ngasy ou.Ev erylitt
let
hingaboutmehel oves.Atfi
rstIwasscaredofyoubut
nowIloveyousoeffort
lessly.(Hechuckled.)Il
oveyou.Ipromiset obealovi
ngandsupporti
ng
andgoodwifetoyou.Anamazi ngfri
endtoyou.Motherandparentandbet hebestmothert
o
ourchi
ldr
enaswell.Thanky ouf orseeingmewor t
hyofyourlove."

Hecar
essesmycheek.

Past
or:
"mayt
her
ingscomef
orwar
d.

Theywer
ebr
oughtf
orwar
d.

Past
or:
"Nkonzor
epeataf
terme"

Nkonzo:
"youwantt
otakei
tof
f?"

Inodded.Iwi
l
lmakei
taneckl
aceandweari
tal
way
s.

Past
or:"withthi
sri
ngIpr
omise,t
oloveandt
ohold.Tobel
oyalandsuppor
t,i
nri
chesandi
n
poor
.Insicknessandi
nheal
thunti
lGodalmi
ght
ydoesusapart
"

Nkonzosai
dthatandsl
i
dint
henewr
ingandIdi
dthesamewi
thhi
m.

Past
or:
"Inowpronouncey
ouHusbandandwi
fei
nfr
ontoft
hef
ather,
thesonandhol
ySpi
ri
t.
Youmaykisst
hebride"

Nkonzosmi
rkedandIknowhei
sgonnabedi
rt
y

Nkonzo:
"wozangi
kumanqaze(comeandki
ss)
"

Ev
ery
onel
aughedandIcov
eredmyf
acebef
orehepul
l
edmebymywai
stt
ohi
m.

Nkonzo:
"lookatme"

Nt
sika:
"ungamdedel
ibaf
o(don'
tl
ethergo)makeherDi
zzy
"

WelaughedandIhel
dhisf
aceandki
ssedhi
m.Hishandt
rav
elst
omybut tandhepul
l
edme
cl
oserwhil
epeopl
esti
ll
cheer
edandhegroanedi
nmymouthandimoanedbefor
ewebrokei
t.

535
Nkonzo:
"Il
i
vef
ory
ou"

Me:
"Il
ovey
ouKhabazel
a"

Hesmi
rked

Nkonzo:
"yourv
isi
oncamet
rue.Iam i
nlov
ewi
tht
hemy
ster
iouswoman"

It
houghtabouti
tandi
tcl
i
cked.Thi
smentme.Her
eIam happyandi
nlov
ewi
tht
hisman.Iper
k
hi
sli
ps.

Me:
"for
ever"

Nkonzo:
"for
ever"

4y
ear
slat
er

*
MUZI*

Me:
"Sl
owdownbabyy
ouar
egonnagetI
cecr
eam "

Sel
uleko:
"babaaf
unamanj
enj
ena(dadIwanti
tnow)
"

Mom :
"ey
iwhatdoy
ousay?"

Shewasvisi
ti
ng.Thepast4y
earshavebeenthebestst
ruggl
einmyli
fe.Att
imesIwoul
dfeel
l
ikeshi
ppi
ngSelulekot
oKznbutmissherdi
vaselfatt
hesamet i
me.Sheturnst
omewi t
ha
sweetsmi
le.

Sel
uleko:
"daddycanwegeti
cecr
eam ?"

Ipi
ckedherup.

Me:
"Sur
emymunchi
e"

Mom :
"ist
hiswhaty
oudeal
wit
h?"

536
Wewal
kedt
otheki
tchen

Me:
"Whenshei
sal
one.Shebehav
eswel
lwhent
her
eisNt
ando"

Mom :
"anypot
ent
ial
ont
heway?"

Shehasbeenaski
ngt
hatf
ort
hepast2y
ear
s.

Me:
"Thi
sonei
smypot
ent
ial
"

Isaidtappi
ngSel
uleko'
snosewhogi
ggl
ed.Il
ovemydaught
er.Igav
eheri
cecr
eam andshe
thankedme.

Mom :
"But.
..
..
"

Me:
"mah"

Sherai
sedherhandsupindef
eatandwal
kedout
.Il
ookatSel
ulekoandIam notr
eadyf
ort
he
dayshewil
laskabouthermot
her.

*
AMANDA*

It
'sobviousthi
sgirli
sgonnaVaatanSitwithnori
ngproduci
ngbabi
esfort
hisman.4y ear
s?No
many i
nil
ehay i
bonayoKangakafor4y
ears.Ever
yonei
smar r
iednowbutme,no,
dolol
oonly
endlesspromises.Iam r
eall
yti
redofit
.

Kwenzo:
"Mommyar
ewegoi
ngbackt
odaddi
est
oday?"

Me:
"NoKwenzososi
tdownandeatwhi
l
eIgochecky
ourl
i
ttl
ebr
other
s."

Shepout
sonmeandsit
sdownwhil
eIgotot
henur
ser
ytocheckont
het
wins.It
akeLwandi
l
e
i
ntomyarmsandhei
sjustl
ooki
ngatme.

Me:
"Howar
eyoubaby,
howi
smyhandsomeMan?"

Ismil
ed.Thr ougheveryt
hingthatMongeziputmet hroughbuthegavemecut eki
dsshamethat
i
sat hanky ou.Theotheronedecidestomakehi spresenceknown.IputLwandi
ledownand
takehisbrotherWandi
lebuthedoesn'tst
op.IheardKwenzoshout i
ng"daddy"andIinst
antl
y
gotpissed.Iwalkedoutwi t
hWandileandthereheis.Mongeziwit
hKwenzoonhi slapassheis

537
complai
ninghowst ay
ingwi
thmeissobori
ngandadragwhil
etheki
dscr
y.Theyar
eonly2
monthsmi ndyouwhenIpackedupandl
eft
.Helookedupt
omeandhehasagedabi t
.Wandi
l
e
i
snotkeepi ngcal
m.

Mongezi
:"wat
chsomeTVbaby"

Kwenzo:
"ok"

Sheki
ssedhi
scheekandheputherdown.Iwal
kedof
ftomybedr
oom andhef
oll
owed.

Me:
"whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?"

Mongezi
:"Imi
ssmyf
ami
l
y"

Il
etoutamocki
ngl
augh.

Me:
"wear
enoty
ourf
ami
l
y.Iam j
usty
ourbabymama.Theki
dsy
es"

Mongezi
:"Amanda"

Hesteppedcl
oserandt
ookWandi
lewhoinstant
lycal
meddownandbecamequi
etandIcl
i
cked
mytonguewhil
ehewentwit
hhim andl
aidonthebed.

Mongezi
:"Babypl
easel
et'
stal
kitout
.Ican'
tl
iv
ewi
thouty
oual
l"

Me:
"Tal
kwhatoutMongezi
?Youhady
ourchanceandbl
ewi
t"

Mongezi
:"si
tdown"

Isatnextt
ohi
m.

Mongezi
:"Whatdoy
ouwant?"

Me:"IwantahomeMongezi
,Iwannagetmarr
ied,
IwantahusbandIwantal
loft
hatwi
th
someonewholovesmeandi
sseri
ouswithus"

Mongezi
:"y
out
hinkIam notser
ious?"

Me:
"Yes"

Mongezi
:"Youhav
enev
erhi
ntedt
haty
ouwant
edmet
omar
ryy
ou."

Me:
"fanel
engi
kut
iphi
semanj
eMi
na?(Ishoul
dgi
vey
ouhi
nts?
)"

Mongezi
:"cal
m down"

Ir
oll
edmyey
es.

Mongezi
:"Il
ovey
ouAmanda.Inev
ersai
dIwant
edy
out
obemygi
rl
fr
iendandbabymamaf
or

538
ever
.Iwasjustwai
ti
ngf
ory
out
ober
eadyt
otakei
ttot
henextst
epofmar
ri
age.I
t'
sal
i
fet
ime
commitment"

Ipout
ed.

Mongezi
:"Youwantt
omar
ryme?"

Inodded.

Mongezi
:"t
alkt
ome"

Me:
"yes"

Hepul
l
edmet
ohi
schestandki
ssedmyf
orehead.

Mongezi
:"Ial
sowantt
omar
ryy
ouAmanda.Justt
hinkabouti
t.AmandaQwabe"

Ismi
l
eatt
hatandl
augh.

Mongezi
:"Ni
cer
inghuh?"

Me:
"mostdef
ini
tel
y"

Mongezi
:"Il
ovey
ou"

Il
ookathi
m andki
sshi
scheek

Me:
"Il
ovey
oumor
ebabakaKwenzo"

Hechuckl
ed.

Mongezi
:"t
hanky
ouf
ort
hewonder
ful
blessi
ngs."

Me:
"it
'sapl
easur
e."

Wel
aidi
nbedwhi
l
eli
steni
ngt
ohi
shear
tbeat
.

*
NOMA*

Si
nceIhadgr
aduat
edMuzi
gav
ememoneyt
ost
artmyownbusi
ness.Iwassohappy
.Iam a

539
suckerforfashionsoIopenedupmyownbout i
queandi t
sgrowingeachandev eryday.Il
ear
n
newt hi
ngsaboutl i
fe.Newmeaningsandnewf eeli
ngsaswell.Inevert
houghtinthese4year
sI
wouldbewher eIam.Ialwayssawmy sel
finapl aneonmywayt oMulanforfashi
onweek.
Thatstil
lcanhappenbutnotsoloanymore.Ihaveagr oupofsupporter
swhosuppor tme
Everyday.Whol ovemebeyond.That'
swhatIlove.Iwasinmyof fi
cecheckingsomebooks
whent herewasaknockont hedoorandmyassi stantPai
gepeaksherheadi n.

Pai
ge:
"mam someonei
sher
efory
ou."

Me:
"iam busyPai
ge.Ican'
tbewi
thany
onet
oday"

Shenoddedandcl
osedt
hedoor.Thi
smonthwemadegoodmoney.ThedooropensandI
l
ookedup.Hesmil
edandputhi
m ontheof
fi
cecouchandIst
oodupandwentt
ohim andwe
shar
edahug.

Nt
sika:
"Iam notev
enget
ti
ngaki
ssMr
sMkhi
ze?
"

Me:
"Iwantt
ofeel
yourar
msf
ir
st"

HehugsmeandIf
eel
compl
ete.Heki
ssesmyf
oreheadt
henweshar
edabr
iefki
ss.

Me:
"hel
ookst
ir
ed"

Nt
sika:
"hei
s"

Beingmar riedordat i
ngsomeonewho' sjobdescripti
onr equi
reshimt oleav
eev erynowand
thenishar d.Trustme, askLandiswaandNt ombi(Sanele'sfi
ance).SomeandNt si
ka.The
weddi ngdayi sthedayIsawt hatIl i
kehim andreall
ywantt ogi veusatry.Itwasa
roll
ercoaster.Kamowassodev i
statedcauseheendedt hingswi t
hher.Theot herswerejust
shockedt hemost.Hi smotherhat esmygut sandr eal
lyIdon'tcare.Downt helineofthatyearI
foundoutIwaspr egnantwit
hourbabyboy.Boywashehappyt hathemar ri
edmebef or
eI
gavebi r
th"Idon' twantanychildofmi nebor noutofthemar riage"t
hat'
shiswor dsandexcuse
andnowher ewear e.Funnyhuh.

Me:
"Imi
ssedr
idi
ngy
ou"

Hechuckl
ed.

Nt
sika:
"toni
ghtIwi
l
lbei
ncont
rol
"

It
urnedt
ohi
m.

Me:
"isi
t.?
"

Heki
ssedmyf
orehead.

Nt
sika:
"yeahandt
henei
ghbor
sshoul
dknowmyname"

540
Il
aughed

Me:
"wewi
l
lseeaboutt
hat"
.

Hel
ooksatme.

Nt
sika:
"youar
ebeaut
if
ulmywi
fe"

Ibl
ushed.

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Weshar
edaki
ss.

*
PALESA*

Me:
"Iam soner
vous."

Ndaba:
"don'
tbe.Iam pr
oudofy
ou"

Het
ookmyhandandki
ssedi
t.

Nt
ando:
"Mamawear
egoi
ngt
ovi
sitgogo?"

Ndaba:
"yesboy"

Nt
ando:
"cool
.Heart
hatNat
hi"

Heist
hequi
etone.Onl
y2year
soldbutqual
i
tiesofhi
sfathercreepi
n.Heparkedthecari
nfr
ont
oft
hegat
eandpeoplewhowerepassi
ngbyweresurel
ylooking.Iwi
pedatearfrom myeye.

Ndaba:
"it
'sok"

I
tlookedbet
terf
rom themudhousewehad.Mymom di
dputtheLobol
amoneyi
ntogooduse.
Hegotoutandhelpedmeoutandsoastheboy
s.Iki
ssedhi
slips.

Me:
"thanky
ouf
ormaki
ngmydr
eam comet
rue"

Ndaba:
"Ihadt
oo.That
'swhatagoodhusbanddoes"

541
Me:
"ShakaZul
u"

Wel aughedandwewal kedinsi

detheyar
d.I
twascleanandneat.Mom hasOCDItel
lyou.We
knockedont hedooranditopenedandmysist
erLerat
olookedatmeandsmiledwhi
lehuggi
ng
meandIl aughed.

Lerat
o:"ohmyGodPal
esaImi
ssedy
ou.YohIhav
eal
ott
otel
lyou.Mi
hlal
ii
sher
eandy
ou
knowhertakemewi
thyou"

Il
aughed

Me:
"sl
owdownRat
o"

Shei
smyy
oungersi
ster
.

"Ler
atogeni
saabant
u(Ler
atol
ett
hepeopl
ein)
"

Ler
ato:
"ohsor
ry.Sawubonabhut
i(hel
l
obhut
i)"

Ndaba:
"hel
l
o"

Nathi
washoldi
ngont
ohisfat
her
.Wegoti nandmom st
oodup.Aunt
yPamel
awashere.God
t
hisaunthat
esust
othecor
ebutpret
ends.Sheli
kest
oboast
.Mom cameandtohugme.

Mom :
"mychi
l
dren.Mkhweny
anahowar
eyou?
"

Ndaba:
"Iam okmah"

Pam cl
i
ckedhert
ongue.

Mom :
"Ler
atogomakesomebi
scui
ts..

Me:
"Mama"

Mom :
"Iam happyy
ouar
eher
e.Comet
ogogoki
ds"

Theybot
hrant
oherandshehuggedandki
ssedt
hem.Thatwar
medmyhear
t.

Mom :
"Howi
sschool
kids?
"

Nt
ando:
"Iam i
ngr
ade7gogo"

Mom :
"wowsukhul
i
leMf
anakaGogo(y
ouhav
egr
ownGogo'
schi
l
d)"

Hesmi
l
ed.Nt
andocant
alkday
sonend.

Me.:
"mama"

Mom:
"yes"

542
Iopenedmybagandhandedt
het
ickett
oher
.Shet
ooki
twhi
l
elooki
ngatme.

Mom :
"whati
sthi
s?"

Me:
"Iwanty
out
ocomeseemegr
aduat
enextweek"

Tear
swel
dedi
nherey
es.

Mom:
"ohNkosi
uMkhul
u(Gody
ouar
ebi
g)"

I
tmademecr
yseei
ngmymot
herl
i
ket
hat
.Shest
oodupandImetherhal
fwayandshehugged
me.

Mom:
"Iam pr
oudofy
ou"

Me:
"thanky
ou"

Wehel
dont
oeachot
her
.

*
LANDI
SWA*

Li
sembo:
"MamaComet
othepool
!"

Sheshouted.Thesplashingsoundswerehear
d.Iwasmaki nghotdogsforthem andmade
sti
ckywingsandroll
sf orus.Itookt
hefoodandwal kedoutandIputi
tonthetableoutside.We
don'tl
iv
eatthejungl
ehouseany mor
e.Imisst
hatplacebutgogoandMaZulul i
vether
et ogether
.
Hegotoutoft hepoolleavi
ngthem t
ryi
ngtopaddl
einsidewithfl
oat
son.Hehel dmef r
om
behind.

Me:
"Nkonzoy
ouar
emaki
ngmewet"

Nkonzo:
"comeswi
m wi
thme"

Me:
"babyy
ouknowIcan'
t"

Nkonzo:
"whatam Iher
efor?"

543
Il
aughed

Me:
"okt
hat
'ssosweet
"

Ihel
dhi
sfaceandper
kedhi
sli
ps.

"
Ewwwu!
"

Wel
aughed

Nkonzo:
"leav
emeandmywi
feal
one"

Thando:
"dady
ounotsupposedt
oki
ssagi
rl"

Nkonzo:
"butI
fIdi
dn'
tki
ssmommyy
ouwoul
dn'
tbeher
e"

Qi
niso:
"whatdoy
oumean?
"

Nkonzo:
"Imeant
hat
..
..
..
."

Me:
"woaht
hat
'senoughnow"

Hechuckl
ed.Theycar
ri
edonswi
mmi
ng.Het
ookof
fmyt
owel
andpi
ckedmeup

Me:
"putmedownpl
ease"

Nkonzo:
"nope"

Hewal
kedi
ntot
hepool
andwentt
othedeepsi
dehei
sgonnaki
l
lme

Me:
"ifIdr
ownIwi
l
lhaunty
ou"

Hechuckl
ed.

Nkonzo:
"thatwoul
dbeadr
eam comet
rue"

Me:
"youcr
azy"

Qi
niso:
"weswi
mmi
ngher
e"

Hesai
dwhi
l
etr
yingt
odoabackst
roke.

Nkonzo:
"boymov
efr
om her
e"

Hepushedhi
m wi
thhi
slegt
otheot
hersi
de.

Me:
"don'
tabusemyki
ds"

Li
sembo:
"daddyThandoi
sspl
ashi
ngwat
eronme"

544
Thando:
"li
er"

Qi
niso:
"Vel
e(t
rue)
"

Theywer
esquabbl
i
ng.

Nkonzo:
"Il
ovey
ou"

Me:
"Il
i
vef
ory
ou"

Weshar
edaki
ssoncemor
e

"Ewwuuu!
"

Nkonzo:
"cl
osey
ourey
es"

Thando:
"Iam outofher
e"

Wel
aughedashegotout.

Theend

545