//-----------------------------

// Story: Hands
// Chapter: Thirteen
// Author: Andrew Joshua Talon
//-----------------------------

Hands

A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction

By Andrew J. Talon

DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fanbased work of prose. My Little Pony: Friendship

- - - - - -

I entered Smokestack's shop with the caution of one who has nearly met his end at
the hooves of the Cutie Mark Crusaders more than once. I peered in through the
door, opened just enough to let me see inside. Looking around carefully, I saw no
mane nor tail of the three Horses of the Apocalypse.

"Ah, you're here," Smokestack said, reading through a newspaper while smoke puffed
from his pipe. He looked over the headlines at me as I walked inside. "Armor fit
okay?"

"Uh, yeah," I said. Fluttershy trotted in behind me with a smile of her own. "I
just wanted to thank you and-"

"And ask when in tarnation I got your measurements?" Smokestack asked. "Miss
Rarity." He grinned. "That pony don't miss a beat, especially when it comes to
figuring out your proportions."

I wasn't sure if there was innuendo or not in Smokestack's suggestion, but given
Fluttershy didn't break out into a blush I decided to go with the interpretation
there wasn't. Besides, I didn't want to consider the idea that Rarity would break
Spike's heart. Not her.

"Well, thanks," I said. "I'm going to go thank her too-"

"Before you do," Smokestack said, moving out from behind his counter and heading to
a work bench, "got another surprise for you."

"A helmet?" Fluttershy suggested.

"Nah, haven't finished it yet," Smokestack said, "though with his head he'd be fine
without."

Fluttershy giggled, and then gave me an apologetic look as I scowled. I sighed.

"Beat up on the Human day? Didn't know that was a holiday around here."

"Ain't a holiday if it's every day," Smokestack said wryly. I winced. It was like I
was wearing a bull's eye.

"Ah! Here we go," Smokestack said, trotting back up to me with a wrapped package in
between his teeth. He lifted it up to me, and I took it in my hands. "Open it."
I did so, and blinked. "Woah..."

It was a sword wrapped in a scabbard made of what looked like leather (but was
probably a faux version of it-It'd be a bit like that human skin lamp in Silence of
the Lambs). I pulled it out and examined it. It was short, only about two and a
half feet long, and shaped like a Roman gladius.

"Your little dinky knife isn't much good," Smokestack said, "so I made you a bigger
knife."

"Well, thanks!" I said with a smile, resheathing it. I tied it off to my belt,
still grinning. Smokestack snorted, and looked over at Fluttershy.

"Keep an eye on him though. He gets into enough trouble with things that ain't
sharp and you and Miss Sparkle are too young to be widows."

Fluttershy blushed bright red, and I was the same way. "Wh-What are you talking
about?" Fluttershy laughed nervously. "We don't-That is-!"

"It's not like that!" I insisted, holding my hands up. Smokestack huffed.

"Whatever. Just don't get killed, I don't like having to make handles for coffins,"
he said, trotting off.

Fluttershy and I looked at each other, before we departed the shop. The door shut
behind us, and Fluttershy sighed.

"How... How many ponies do you think know about... Um... Our situation?" Fluttershy
asked.

If there was one thing this world had in abundance over my own, it was dramatic
irony. The Mayor and Mr. and Mrs. Cake trotted by, the former giving us a smile.

"Don't worry, Shepard and Fluttershy! We support you!" She said with a friendly and
knowing wink that sent a shudder down my spine.

"We uh, have to stick together after all, heheh," Mr. Cake said with a little grin
as Mrs. Cake giggled. They trotted off together, and we stared after them.

Fluttershy's face was glowing in her blush. "Um... Er... Ah... Oh my..."

I twitched. "... Let's go back to the library."

"But aren't we going to thank Rarity-"

"I'll send her a card let's just get back to the library."

- - - - - - - -

Disturbing revelations aside, Fluttershy and I made it back to the library just as
the sun was getting low in the sky. But when we walked in through the library
doors, we were surprised to see that Twilight and Spike were already back. Both of
them were poring through books, Twilight perusing them rapidly and then setting
them aside and Spike flipping through them and tossing them when he was done.

"Hey Twilight, hey Spike," I said. Twilight and Spike looked up. My marefriend
smiled at me... And her smile held, though a bit uncertainly, as she saw
Fluttershy.
"Oh, hi Andrew, hi Fluttershy," she said. Fluttershy smiled back, but there was a
definite tension in it.

"Hello Spike, Twilight..."

I looked between the two mares I deeply cared for, maybe even loved, and mentally
sighed.

"So, what's up?" I asked Twilight. I looked to Spike, who was rolling his eyes at
our tension. "Enjoy yourselves?"

"It was all right," Spike said. "We're just looking for information about, ya know,
dragons." He turned his eyes back to the book, quickly reading through it before
tossing it with a scowl.

"Yes. Spike is a bit interested in his origins," Twilight said. Spike shot Twilight
a look, and Fluttershy coughed.

"Um... Could we help?" She asked.

"Well, it might go faster with a few eyes, but what about your thing with dragons?"
Twilight asked with more than a little tension. Fluttershy tapped her hooves
together, but held her ground.

"Well... Books of dragons wouldn't give me any trouble," Fluttershy said. "And I'm
sure that... That I can be just as much help to Spike as you."

Twilight narrowed her eyes. "Oh? You can?"

Fluttershy startled at the change in Twilight's tone, but narrowed her eyes back.
"Certainly..."

I coughed, and looked between the two of them.

"... Uhh... I was going to go thank Rarity for the suit of armor-"

"Oh yes! I noticed that, it looks great on you!" Twilight said cheerfully. She was
at my side in an instant. "Lavender is a very nice color! I mean, you practically
match me!"

"Actually, it's more purple," Fluttershy said. "Um, I mean, they are off of Spike
when he was in his big form..."

"What?!" Spike gasped. "You mean you're wearing my skin?!"

"Take it as a compliment, Puff," I said flatly, tugging on the armor. "Looks better
on me than it ever did you."

"Oh yeah? It makes you look like a big, scaly grape!" Spike growled back.

"Takes one to know one!" I shot back, bending down to glare right into his eyes.
Spike snorted.

"I'm not squishy on the inside like you, ya big stupid monkey!"

"Big talk from a bipedal salamander!"

"Big talk from a bipedal ape!"

"Yeah you are! A stupid hairless monkey!"

"Monkeys aren't apes!"

"It's an insult! It doesn't have to make sense!" Spike shouted.

"Yes it does!"

"Does not!"

Behind us, Fluttershy and Twilight looked at eachother. My marefriend sighed and
chuckled a bit.

"Funny huh? Them fighting over nothing," Twilight said. Fluttershy laughed, just as
nervous.

"Hahaha... Oh... Yes... Nothing," she said. They continued to stare at each other.

Unfortunately I chose to ignore this in favor of the far less awkward option of
arguing with Spike. Looking back, I was pretty much begging for a situation where I
would have to man up or shut up. But I am the kind of guy who requires a brick
thrown at my head from God to snap myself out of my funks, so it really isn't that
surprising that I would later get a proverbial brick slamming into my head.

And by brick, I mean dragons. Big, scary dragons.

- - - - - - -

The hike up the volcano side was arduous, and I felt sweat pouring down my brow. I
breathed hard in my helmet, and sucked on the nearby straw for another bit of
precious drinking water. My thirst was only moderately relieved, but it was enough
that I could at least maintain my focus on the ascent.

The helmet over my head was in the shape of a dragon's head, with black mesh cloth
over my face to disguise my face as nothing but still allow me to see. On my back,
glittery wings had been bolted. A cheap looking tail which housed my water swung
behind me, clanking a bit. And my gloves now had claws. From a distance, or to a
particularly stupid person, I would look nothing less than a man-sized dragon.

And I was thankful for that.

Above me, dragons flew. Hundreds of them, of all shapes and sizes. They were
circling, coming in for a landing in what I presumed was the volcanic crater, or
moving on in the great stream of flying reptiles for their breeding grounds. I was
strangely reminded of the vast flocks of geese back home that would fly over my
house, bound for a nearby lake during their great migrations. Both sights were
breathtaking, beautiful in their own ways.

It's just that geese are far less likely to eat or barbecue you if you got too
close.

"Grr..." I growled, pulling myself over another boulder. The ascent up the volcano
was ending, I hoped. Unlike the mountains I'd climbed in Colorado, there weren't a
lot of false summits to raise your spirits and then dash them. It was all just one
big, long hike, scrambling up in a heavy suit of armor modified to make me at least
resemble a man-sized dragon.
Confused? Let me back up for a moment...

- - - - - -

After Twilight had separated us, Spike and myself joined her and Fluttershy in
researching dragons. Throughout the night we had read, through volume after volume.
Nothing on what it meant to be a dragon. Nothing on dragon behavior. Not much on
dragons period, save for anatomy, habits, and several warnings of "Do Not Mess
With".

I turned my tired eyes up to the windows, and found myself unsurprised it was
morning. I looked over at Twilight, who was still reading despite her hair being a
mess and her eyes heavy.

A fearsome glance over at Fluttershy, who was in the same state but determinedly
still reading, let me know just why the research had gone on so long. I mentally
sighed, and looked over at Spike. He too was still reading, though at least the
reasons for him doing so were less likely to cause me trouble.

Oh, how I miss those naive days of youth...

"Good morning~!" Cried a familiar voice. We all looked up to see Rarity enter the
library, along with Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie.

"Eh? What's with you guys? Reading slumber party?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"No," Twilight said, barely containing a yawn.

"We've been researching dragons for Spike," Fluttershy said, also yawning deeply.

"But we haven't found anything," Spike said. Rarity tutted, and trotted up to
Spike. She nuzzled the young dragon, which much to my surprise didn't elicit so
much as a blush.

"Now Spike, there's absolutely no reason to fret!" Rarity said kindly. "You're just
fine the way you are! A cutesy, wootsy little Spike-Wikey~..."

Spike sighed heavily. "But... What if that's not what I want to be?"

"Well, how are you going to find that out?" Pinkie Pie asked. "It's not like you
could just go on the Great Dragon Migration!" Pinkie rubbed her chin and hummed.
She then smiled. "Oh yeah! It totally is like that!"

"That's a great idea!" Spike said with a grin. Rainbow Dash snorted.

"Woah woah woah! Hang on Spike! Don't you have to be able to, ya know, fly to
migrate?"

"I have to get there somehow," Spike said, clenching his fist. Twilight smiled.

"Well then, we can just go with you!" She said. She glanced in my direction, and I
nodded.

"Yeah. That's not a problem," I said, trying very hard not to think about all the
fire breathing dragons that would be waiting to gobble us up. That doesn't tend to
help.

"I-I'd love to go too!" Fluttershy said.

"Yeah!"

The other mares all volunteered as well. Spike shook his head.

"No," Spike said. "Thanks, but no. This is something I've got to do on my own. To
find out where I fit in. I mean, I'm the only dragon in Ponyville. How am I
supposed to find out how a dragon is supposed to be here?" He looked at me quite
seriously. "I've never had anyone to show me how to be a dragon... And if I don't
find out on my own..."

I felt a tug on my heart as I realized I understood him perfectly. I slowly nodded.

"Spike, it could be dangerous!" Rarity said.

"It will be dangerous," Applejack deadpanned. "Most dragons ain't nowhere near as
nice as you!"

"Maybe," Spike said, a determined look on his face. "But I need to find out for
myself." He packed up a few things in a backpack, and made for the door. Pinkie Pie
moved out of the way, and he strode off for the mountains. Twilight sighed, and
shook her head. Dashlooked between us, scowling.

"You're just letting him go?" Dash asked incredulously.

"It's what he wants," Twilight said. I nodded in turn.

"Sometimes a man has to do what a man has to do," I said. At the stares I got from
the others, I coughed. "Or dragon, in this case."

"But letting him go off alone like that!" Rarity wailed. Twilight smiled.

"Don't worry... He won't be going alone. He'll just think he's going alone. We're
going to follow him!"

"Um, but Twilight, Spike is a dragon. We're ponies. Those are dragons,
dragons," Fluttershy said. "They might welcome him but they most certainly will
not welcome us!"

Twilight's smile changed tone as she looked up at me. "Not unless we have our
own dragon."

I stared at her in dawning, horrified comprehension. The rest of the mares figured
it out, Fluttershy announcing her realization with a gasp.

"No," I said flatly.

"Um..." Fluttershy tried.

"Come on Andrew!" Twilight pleaded. "Spike will need our help!"

"Er..." She tried again.

"And he's a dragon going among dragons," I said flatly. "How much help could he
need?"

"Excuse me..."
"Andrew, please," Rarity begged, holding her hooves together. "My Spikey-Wikey
could use your help, and you've already got most of a disguise done!" She rubbed
her chin in thought. "And I could easily make a complete one, I've got everything I
need back at the shop..."

"No, no, no, NO!" Fluttershy finally broke, shocking everypony. "You're not sending
Andrew into a den of horrible, mean, nasty, meat eating fire breathing dragons!"

"Yeah!" Dash said. She grinned. "Not without backup!"

"Not even with backup!" Fluttershy practically shrieked. "You can't send him, you
just can't!"

"We'll be with him every step of the way, ready to intervene!" Twilight said. She
looked to me imploringly. "Please Andrew? I know you don't want to let Spike go
alone any more than I do..."

I grumbled, looked to the side... And sighed. She was right. I slowly turned my
head.

"All right," I said, trying to ignore Fluttershy's pale expression. "But I swear to
God, I had better not be going in purple," I stated, indicating my armor.

"Of course you won't just be going around in purple!" Rarity said with a laugh.
"Why, just purple would be absurd!"

I nodded. "Good."

- - - - - -

I sighed and reached up to check the fins on my dragon helmet. My neon green fins.

"Double dealing no good deceiving pony temptress..." I muttered.

"What was that? Andrew, repeat, over? I couldn't hear you," came Twilight's voice
over the magic headset in the helmet. She was safely far away with the others in a
hot air balloon. I sighed.

"Nothing dear," I said flatly. I grunted and pulled myself up, climbing again.
Higher, higher, and higher I went. The lip of the crater came into view, and with a
last grunt of exertion, I yanked myself up.

I finally cleared the lip of the volcano crater, and peered down. I gaped in
disbelief.

Dragons. Hundreds of them of all sizes, colors and shapes littered the volcanic
crater. And Spike was headed for a rowdy, rambunctious group of them. I sighed.

"Dragons... Why'd it have to be dragons?" I muttered.

Resigned, I started on my way down.

- - - - - - -

As I descended into the volcanic crater, I found myself analyzing the layout of the
dragons themselves. Being a professional anthropologist/archaeologist... Well,
qualified anthropologist/archaeologist anyway (Professional meaning I got paid
regularly for it), I couldn't help but try to understand the complex social
interactions going on here. I was basically in unknown territory-Literally seeing
dragons, and close enough to get an idea of their social life. I felt a bit like
Jane Goodall, or Daniel Jackson from SG-1.

Hopefully I wouldn't be dying repeatedly like the latter. Or even once. Once would
be bad.

The biggest dragons  laid on the edges of the crater, finding outcrops of rock to
rest upon or just sitting on beds of volcanic ash ringing the crater. On the wide
plain that formed the interior of the crater were dragons that got no bigger than
an elephant. Dragons in between these sizes, I noted, were circling overhead along
with a few in the larger size range. The majority of the dragons though were flying
still ever southward, so I gathered this volcano was simply a rest stop before the
next leg of the journey.

A dragon turned its eyes to me as I passed it, and I hesitated for a moment.

"Andrew, you okay? You've stopped moving," Twilight said.

"A dragon... It's looking at me," I muttered.

"Just don't make eye contact," Fluttershy suggested. "Just don't look it in the
eyes, keep walking, and it will leave you alone... Probably."

"Probably?!" I hissed.

"Do it!" Dash shouted. I looked away and kept my eyes straight ahead.

"Try to walk more like... Like a bear," Fluttershy said, a tremble in her voice.
"Remember, you're a hulking dragon. You lean forward and leer when you walk,
because you're a horrible flesh eating monster!"

"I can't leer, my face doesn't move," I said flatly. Nevertheless I focused on
changing my walk, bunching up my shoulders and leaning forward.

I could feel the eyes of the great reptile for a few seconds more, before it looked
elsewhere. I let out a sigh of relief and kept going, my eyes on the tiny purple
form of Spike among a group of dragons no taller than me nearby a lava pit. They
surrounded Spike, leering and laughing and shoving each other. It was very familiar
for some reason...

"Hahaha! Well well, lookit the runt!" A red dragon laughed abrasively as I got
within earshot. "I’m Garble!” He said, pounding his armored chest. “What's yer
name, twerp?"

"Uh, Sp-Spike!"

"What? Who is that?" Rarity asked. "Is he talking about my Spikey-Wikey?!"

"And where are you from?" Garble asked. Spike smiled guilelessly, every part of him
screaming “fresh meat”.

“Ponyville!”

The older dragons broke out into laughter, as Spike began to frown. That confused,
helpless look on his face... The way the dragons were acting like position
jockeying douchebags...

Holy shit, I thought, these are teenaged dragons.

“What the hay? Spike’s run into bullies!” Dash growled. “Kick their tails!”

“No!” I hissed.

“Check it out guys! We’ve got ourselves a hybrid: half-pony, half-dragon!” Garbles
laughed. Spike glared up at Garble.

“Who, me? I'm not part pony! I'm all dragon, see? Raar!” Spike clawed at the air,
quite ineffectually.

“Or maybe you're a pony in a dragon costume,” Garble mocked. More laughter broke
out, and I felt my hot sweat turn cold. I tried to look non-chalant, tried to be
ignored... But Garbles looked up at me, looked down at Spike, and grinned.

“Oho? And what’s this?” Garble grinned. “We got another half-pony here?”

Spike looked over at me and gaped. Realization flooded his eyes, and I decided to
ask myself a very important question:

What would Batman do?

I stalked right up to Garbles, cracked my heck (thankful the helmet allowed me to

“GWARGH?!” Garbles stepped back, off balance. I charged and checked him, hockey
style, right into the lava pit. I turned to face the stunned dragons as Garbles
sputtered, and I growled.

“Any one else want to crack jokes about dragons from Ponyville?” I snarled. I
looked around, hoping the Power Rangers-like helmet I wore would be at least a
little intimidating. As I wasn’t being burnt alive I gathered it was succeeding.

“Who in the name of the Pit are you?!” Garble demanded as he clawed his way out of
the lava pit.

“I’m... Smaug,” I said, as Garbles loomed up over me, the heat radiating from the
lava still clinging to his skin. I was sweating like crazy-It was probably only
thanks to the dragon hide that I wasn’t bursting into flame already. “Smaug the
Dragon. Spike is my little brother.”

Garble glared at me for a while more, and I thought I was about to get a face full
of fire. He then grinned and laughed.

“So! Ponyville dragons have got some sacs, eh? All right!” He turned to the other
dragons. “Let’s welcome Smaug and Spike!”

The other dragons blew fire and cheered, and I felt my tension drop a bit. Even as
Spike glared at me. If I was smart, I’d have been more cautious, but going into a
dragon den pretty much established just how smart I was...

- - - - - - -

Well, I’m in it now. I hope you find it worth the wait as I close in on my final
final! Will he pass? Will he fail? Will he finish this arc? Stay tuned to answers
to these questions! Probably!