The Essay: Thesis Statements Introductions

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THE ESSAY

THE ESSAY

Thesis statements

Introductions

• Some tips for writing good introductions


• Strategies for writing good introductions

1. The funnel method

2. Defining a word or phrase

3. Asking questions

4. Turn about

5. Using an anecdote

6. Using quotations

The body

Conclusions

1. Review its major ideas

2. Restate the thesis

3. Make predictions based on the material in the body of


the essay

4. Use questions and quotations

At school you probably have been taught that an essay consists of


minimum five paragraphs: an introduction, a body and a conclusion.
However, we should ask ourselves the questions: What is an essay? What
do we try to do in an essay? In Prep School you are given a topic by your
teacher to write about; in academic writing your teachers ask you to
prove a point, collect sufficient data to prove a point, or demonstrate that
you have comprehended a text they have assigned. In all cases, the
writing process is the same: the amount of evidence that goes into your
paper or the length of the paper may change, but the stages you follow in
the writing process are more or less the same. You have to have a thesis
to prove, you have to have sufficient evidence and you have to make a
conclusion.

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THE ESSAY

Thesis statements

A thesis statement is the sentence that

• tells your reader the subject of your paper


• states the controlling idea of your paper, i.e. it makes an assertion
about the subject
• predicts the logical order of discussion you will follow in your paper

In other words, the thesis statement is the anchor of your essay: with a
good thesis statement your reader does not have to wait until he finishes
reading all of your essay to learn what kind of a claim you are making,
what your stance is, or how you are going to prove your viewpoint.

1. An effective thesis should be a declarative sentence, never


an open ended question. If you just ask a question, the reader
will have no idea what you are trying to illustrate.

Not a thesis statement: What are the disadvantages of living in a big city?

2. A good thesis should be restricted and focused. It should


not be too general or too comprehensive. If it is too
comprehensive, you may not be able to prove it all in one
essay.

Too general: Computers have advantages and disadvantages.

This thesis is too general. How are you going to discuss the advantages
and disadvantages of computers in one essay? There are technical and
economic issues, social effects, time and financial considerations, etc.

3. A thesis statement should not make an announcement. It


should make a claim.

Announcement: In this essay I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living
on your own.

Revised thesis statement: When considered generally, living on your own is much
better than living with your family.

4. A thesis statement should not make a claim that cannot be


proved by logical analysis.

Moral judgment of the writer: Only evil and wicked young people choose to live on
their own.

Such a statement expresses the moral judgment of the writer and cannot
be proved in any factual or logical way.

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THE ESSAY

Although it is a recommended practice to state your thesis in the


introduction part of your essay, you will see that some writers choose not
to state their thesis at the beginning of their writing but to come up with a
conclusion after they discuss the issue thoroughly. Such a practice may be
adopted for stylistic purposes.

Introductions

Why is the introduction important?

Your introduction is the part that invites your reader to read your essay:

• it tells your reader what it is about,


• it sets the tone for your essay. In other words, it tells the reader
whether your essay will be light, humorous, serious, controversial,
etc.
• it shows your reader how your essay will develop. That is to say,
there must not be big surprises in the development of your essay
• it helps the reader to make a transition from the conditions he is in
to the content of your essay
• it is where the reader decides whether to read your essay or not. In
other words, they may put your essay down if they feel that it is
going to be extremely boring (your instructors excluded because
they have to read your essays whether they are extremely boring or
not, they have to correct and evaluate your essays anyway)

Some tips for writing good introductions

• Think about the question: most of the time you are assigned a topic
to write about. Think about the question: your answer to the
question will be your thesis. How you prove it will be your
development. Your thesis should be stated in the introduction
paragraph.
• You may find it difficult to write an introduction at the beginning.
Sometimes you may only write a tentative introduction, continue
with the development, then come back and write the introduction
last.
• Pay attention to your first sentence. This is the sentence your reader
(your instructor and the exam marker too) reads first. You should
make a good impression, and should be careful not to make too
many mistakes. If you start your essay with a sentence full of
grammar, spelling or vocabulary mistakes, you cannot expect to
make a good first impression.
• Avoid making announcements: Do not start with opening sentences
such as "In this essay I will discuss ..."
• Avoid making "Dawn of man" introductions. That is, whatever topic
you are assigned , you should not start with sentences such as "
Since the beginning of history", "Since the beginning of humanity",

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THE ESSAY

"Since the industrial revolution", etc. These kinds of statements


make only very broad generalizations, and you cannot start
everything with the industrial revolution! It also indicates that you
do not really have much to say about the topic!

Since the beginning of humanity young people have


had problems with their families.

• Avoid using clichés. Clichés mean that you do not have anything
new to say.

• Avoid filler introductions: When you do not have much to say about
a topic, you list a couple of sentences one after the other, just to fill
the introductory space. If the writer had something effective to say,
he would have said it. However, in this example, he is just filling
space.

Many young people choose to live on their own. The number of


people living on their own is increasing. Many people in the cities
prefer to do this. There are reasons for this phenomenon. There are
also some results.

Strategies for writing good introductions

There is a number of strategies for starting your essays. Sometimes more


than one method can be used to start your essay.

1. The funnel method

In this method, the first sentence is broad and general. It introduces your
thesis, and each following sentence is narrower and more focused. Finally,
it narrows down to your thesis. The important thing in this approach is
that your funnel should not be too large, because you never will be able to
narrow down. For example, if you start with the beginning of human
history to write about young people living on their own, it will take you
ages to narrow down. Therefore, your funnel must be appropriately
narrow at the beginning.

Example paragraph 1:

"Animals have been used in medical research for a long time.


In recent years animal rights organizations have started a
controversy whether it is ethical or not to use animals for the
benefits of medical progress. They believe that animals are
equal to humans and that they have equal rights with human
beings. In my opinion, animals as things, have some rights,
but humans with their more developed brains are superior to
them, therefore if there is no other alternative, animals
may be used in medical research." (Ezgi Ozer, Adv 2003)

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THE ESSAY

Example paragraph 2:

"In life, people pass through different phases. They are born
into a family, and then they grow up and reach puberty. After
puberty, they are considered adults. At this time, the social
burden on people become heavier, and new responsibilities
are added to a person’s burden. Graduating from a good
university, finding a job, getting married and having children
are some of these expectations. Most people consider these
expectations, especially having children, reasonable and see
them as sources of happiness . However, it is my opinion
that children are far away from being the ultimate bliss
in our lives; on the contrary, they bring about more
responsibilities and restrictions."

2. Defining a word or phrase

Sometimes defining a term or a phrase that will be used throughout the


essay is a good strategy. However, it should not be a dictionary definition
since anyone can consult a dictionary. The definition you offer should
match your thesis, or the claims you will be making in the essay.

Example paragraph :

"The term “violence in the family” refers to male


violence against females. It means that men are
generally rude to women both physically and
psychologically. Concerning this issue, a study has been
conducted by Family Research Institute in five different
geographic regions of Turkey on married women about
husband violence against wives. The results of this survey
indicate that two independent variables seem to be related to
approval of violence." (Derya Aslan, Adv 2004)

3. Asking questions

Using questions to attract the attention of your readers is another useful


strategy. Then, your essay proceeds to answer the questions you have
posed in the introduction.

Example paragraph 1:

"Turkish governments have been trying to join the European


Union for years. Despite all the difficult tasks that have to be
achieved in order to join the EU, Turkish governments are
persistent. Turkish citizens seem to agree with their
governments, too. Why are we insisting on becoming a
member of the union then? It is probably because of the

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THE ESSAY

differences between the happiness levels of Turkish and EU


citizens." (Gokhan Remzi Yavuz, Adv 2003)

Example paragraph 2:

"Who can imagine a world without music? Just as we –


the humans- appeared, music emerged as one of our
important needs too. It is obvious that music has filled our
lives very effectively in that now it is impossible to eradicate it
out of our lives. Who can claim the opposite? When we are
born, the first thing we hear is the lullabies of our mothers.
Then, as time passes, we continue to listen to music much
more. Of course, we don't listen to lullabies any more, but we
choose a particular type of music that influences us. Why we
listen to music and like the type of the music we like is not a
simple phenomenon, on the contrary, the reasons are much
more complex." (Beste Kalender, Adv 2003)

4. Turn about

This strategy involves starting with the idea, belief or opinion that is
opposite of your own claim or thesis. You first present the opposite party's
opinion, the turn about with a "but or however", and present your own
point of view. This strategy is especially useful in argumentation.

Example paragraph:

"Reproduction is something that is in the nature of human


beings. Giving birth to children, bringing them up and when
they get older looking forward to them having children are all
built in wishes and expectations of almost everybody. But in
a limited environment, humans cannot keep expanding
their population. There must be some ways to control the
population." (Gamze Gumuslu, Adv 2003)

5. Using an anecdote

Using a short anecdote is another way to start your essay. If you have a
relevant anecdote ready, using it in the introduction will make your essay
more interesting and attract the attention of your reader.

Example paragraph:

"In a myth it is told that once humans did not have gender.
They were neither male nor female. One day they made one of
the gods angry and he punished them. He separated them into
two parts: male and female. Also he put them away from each
other to make them look for their partners all over the world.

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THE ESSAY

For centuries and centuries it went on like that, people


searching for the missing part of the puzzle, their missing half
." (Ozge Uraz, Adv 2003)

6. Using quotations

Using quotations in the introduction is another effective way to start your


essay. If you have the right quotation that matches your thesis or
summarizes what you want to say, it adds flavor to your essay. In the
essay below, the author has found a quotation that expresses the exact
idea she wants to discuss, and she builds the whole paragraph around the
quotation.

Example paragraph 1:

"Music is maybe the first invention of humankind in which he


was firstly inspired by the nature and then completed with his
own emotions and senses. By then, music became the most
indispensable friend of human kind, but why is it so
fundamental?

“Music was invented to confirm human loneliness”, says


Lawrence Durrell. Although they live in a society and are
labeled “social animal” by some philosophers, humans are in
fact alone. They have an inner world which they could hardly
express to others or they could even hardly identify
themselves. Music helps people understand themselves,
melodies make them wander in their own world and discover
the lonely parts of their souls. People who can understand or
identify themselves are no more alone in the world. They find
a friend which will never let them down, and never will leave
them, or a friend from their “inner” world. (Sinem Kavak, Adv
2003)

The body

The body of your essay is minimum two-three paragraphs long, and


supports /illustrates / explains the thesis with the help of evidence,
details, facts and examples. How you organize your thoughts in a logical
order may depend on your topic and thesis. There are various ways of
treating a topic: the essay may be organized in order of importance, in
chronological order, or spatial order. It can also be a description,
narration, comparison and contrast, cause and /or effect, definition,
process, classification or argumentation essay. An essay can be written in
one of those methods, or it can be a combination of two or more types. It
all depends on the purpose of the essay.

For more information on essay types, see Essay Types.

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THE ESSAY

Conclusions

If you have written an effective introduction, and logically developed your


essay, the flow of ideas naturally leads to your conclusion. A good
conclusion should round up your arguments and reach a final conclusion.
There are a number of ways you can conclude your essay.

1. Review its major ideas

This is the simplest way to finish an essay. You go over your essay,
restate the main idea in the conclusion.

"Music is a great way to relax and be happy in daily life. It is


also very useful for musicians and composers to express their
feelings. This is one of the reasons which make music
universal; it has nothing to do with age, race or religion.
Anyone who wants to listen to music, listens to music and
anyone who wants to do music does music." (Aysegul Dogan, Adv
2003)

"As you can see, music makes our lives better. It increases
the things we share both with ourselves and with others. It
helps our loneliness to get smaller and smaller because
sharing is the only way to get rid of our loneliness. That is why
music is so important in our lives." (Sinem Kavak, Adv 2004)

2. Restate the thesis

Sometimes, conclusions can restate the thesis of the essay. This is done
using different words to avoid monotony. In the essay below, the author
restates the thesis idea in the conclusion paragraph.

Introduction:

"For a long time there has been a controversy between animal


rights supporters and scientists about whether it is right to use
animals in experimental research. Also, it is very debatable
whether using animals for such research results in finding a
cure for diseases. From my point of view, if there are no
other alternatives, and if it is possible that this will
contribute to science, animals may be used for
experimental research."

Conclusion:

"All in all, it can be said that using animals for medical


research is ethical as long as it contributes to scientific
development and helps scientists find ways to improve

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THE ESSAY

human health. And this practice is only acceptable on


the condition that necessary pains are taken and
animals are treated humanely." (Ayse Ipek, Adv 2004)

3. Make predictions based on the material in the body of the essay

"Regardless of what you think, whether you think cell phones


are a positive improvement or a serious threat; they are
becoming a part of modern life. It seems that stationary
phones will gradually decrease in number because of
the rivalry of mobile phones. You may think they limit your
personal freedom because of accessibility, or you may feel
safe with the help of your cell phone. It is a personal choice
whether to buy a cell phone or not and maybe it is a matter of
personality too. However, it is going to get more and more
difficult to resist the spread of the cell phone." (Muzaffer Sisli,
Adv 2003)

4. Use questions and quotations

Using questions and quotations in the conclusion can be a good way to


bring your essay to a close. If you can find a quotation that fits your
position, the conclusion will sound interesting.

There are other ways of ending an essay, of course. Whichever method


you use, make sure that you reach a conclusion at the end of your essay.

• Never bring up new ideas or start new discussions in the conclusion.


• Do not let your essay finish weakly with a weak conclusion section.
A good essay deserves a good conclusion.
• Make sure that your conclusion is consistent with the arguments in
your essay. Sometimes you may get carried away and end up
concluding the opposite of your thesis, especially if you do not plan
well. Do not let such inconsistency happen.

Written by Zeliha Gulcat, Sept 2004


Copyright @ 2006 Bogazici University SFL

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