© Copyright 2011 – Judy Franklin and Beni Johnson

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 DEDICATION

I dedicate this book to my children and their spouses, Jonathan,

Daniel and Greta, and Susanna and Jay; to my grandchildren, Kendra,
Jesse, Erik, Elyas, Asher, Jordan and Tobin; and to my great-grandson,
Harlan. I want your oor to be my ceiling. I want your inheritance
from me to be a head start in walking farther with God than I could
ever go. I pray this book will spur each of you on to greater depths
with the most wonderful God of all eternity.
I love you all ve ry much!
Mom and Grandma Juju
 ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Bill and Beni Johnson ~ You both are the most amazing
people. You have raised me to love God more, you have
taught me what grace is, and you have only shown grace to
me. I would not be where I am or who I am without your
love and support. Thank you.
Beni ~ Thank you so much for your willingness to write
the opening and closing chapters for this book.
Kris Vallotton ~ I have learned so much from you.
Thank you for helping to shape my life. You are amazing.
Randall Worley ~ While God gave me my wings, you
continue to add feathers to them so I can soar higher.
Thank you.
Bob Jones ~ You have imparted to me over and over
again. It was you who inspired me to keep on going
higher. Thank you.
Vanessa Chandler, Dianne Brown, Julia Loren, Allison
Armerding, and Pam Spinosi ~ Thank you for your input
into this book.
Banning Liebscher ~ Thank you for your word about me
making this a “how to” book and not one just about my
experiences.
Dann Farrelly ~ Your input was invaluable. Thank you
so much.
 To all of you who let me share your testimonies ~ Thank
you.
Julie Winter ~ Honestly, without you this book would
never have been nished. Your encouragement and
friendship mean so much to me. Thank you for believing in
this book even when I didn’t.
 ENDORSEMENTS

The great apostle Paul wrote to the Corinthians and said,

“Now concerning spiritual gifts, brethren, I do not want you
to be unaware” (1 Cor. 12:1). The word gifts is not in the
Greek text because Paul was not just trying to teach us
about spiritual gifts, he was explaining to us how the spirit
world works.
The Church has lost access to the spirit realm in this
postmodern age. We have exchanged the valuable for the
visible and washed up on the shores of the logical,
tangible, and predictable. The Church’s inability to bring
people into a true spiritual experience with the Father has
created a vortex for every dark spirit to suck seekers into
its clutches.
Judy Franklin has done a masterful job calling the
Church back to her original mandate to live in the spirit
realm. Her book Experiencing the Heavenly Realm reads
like a treasure map, taking us on a journey from the house
of horrors to supernatural experiences. Judy hands us the
lost keys to the mysterious Kingdom and shows us the way
to the Father’s house.
If you have been longing to pass through the veil into the
hidden realms of Heaven, this book is for you!
Kris Vallotton
Senior Associate Leader, Bethel Church, Redding, CA
 Co-Founder, Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry
Author of The Supernatural Ways of Royalty and Purity, the
New Moral Revolution

My relationship with Judy Franklin now spans several

years. In that period I have been enriched every time she
shared with me the transcendent encounters that she has
had with the Father. Mystics are often dismissed by those
who are content to remain in their safe and shallow streams
of spiritual understanding. They are deemed as pushing the
envelope too much with their ethereal and perceived
esoteric experiences. I have known Judy to be very careful
and committed as she seeks scriptural veri cation from
those she has esteemed to be students of Scripture. In this,
her maiden voyage into the publishing arena, she invites all
of us to ascend into the heavenly realm of revelation to
breathe the fresh air of the Father’s unconditional love. You
will be taken far above the polluted atmosphere of near-
sighted religious ideas. The transparency of her testimony
and subsequent discoveries of the Father’s indescribable
compassion will cause you to hunger for more.
Randall Worley
Headwaters Ministries
Ft. Mill, SC

Experiencing the Heavenly Realm is a timely book written

out of Judy Franklin’s rich experience in God. It is full of
revelation that is uncomplicated yet deeply rooted in godly
wisdom. Most importantly, this book re ects the hunger of
a woman with a passion to experience all that Heaven has
to o er. After reading the manuscript, I was reminded of
the Father’s heart for humanity and His desire for us to see
into the heavenly realm. Caution! This book is highly
contagious with the love of God and could be dangerous to
casual Christianity.
Larry Randolph
Larry Randolph Ministries
Franklin, TN
Author of User Friendly Prophecy and The Coming Shift

If you’re anything like me, this visionary book will stir

you to repair your tent of meeting and look even more
intently into the brilliant face of Abba, Father. I highly
commend this work; it is packed with the kind of wisdom
and revelation that only comes from personal encounter.
Dr. Mark Stibbe
Founder and Leader, The Father’s House Trust, Watford, UK

We live in the greatest outpouring the world has ever

seen. Without question, God is moving in the earth and
stirring His Church to greater depths in the knowledge of
Him. In the midst of this outpouring God is raising up
voices to equip, encourage, and call His children into
deeper realms of intimacy with Him. Judy Franklin is one
of those voices. She writes with not only the revelation of
Heaven but the authority of one who has experienced God
in fresh and unique ways. I have personally seen the fruit of
these experiences and the impact it has had on our
community. Her story is not one written on the fringes of
the Church but is established rmly in community as she
pursues God. Experiencing the Heavenly Realm will inspire
all who read it to give themselves fully to a God who is
extravagantly in love with His children. My prayer is that
you would not only read this book to learn about what is
available, but that you would read this book to begin the
journey of a lifetime that will lead you into the arms of the
Father.
Banning Liebscher
Jesus Culture Director, Bethel Church
Redding, CA
Author of Jesus Culture: Living a Life that Transforms the
World
Judy Franklin didn’t just simply write a book…she wrote
her life. While reading this book I could actually feel
Heaven… Himself. I just sat back and smiled, shaking my
head. “She did it,” I said. She was able to capture Him and
all of his goodness in word form. She captured my Friend.
She captured Him and how fun He is. (Laughing…) Well
done, Judy, my friend. Ya did Him proud; He smiles on
this book. I love you so much.
Jenn Johnson
Worship Leader at Bethel Church
Brian and Jenn Johnson Ministries
Redding, CA

Judy Franklin’s Experiencing the Heavenly Realm is a

personal journey of spirit, discovering the reality of the
presence of God, and literally hearing Him speak in great
kindness. The encouragement to awaken our “spiritual
eyes” and our “spiritual ears” is crucial to the intent of the
book. Judy gets to tell her own story and at the same time
leads the reader into his or her own journey of spirit-
empowered imagination. The book is truly an experiential
read, where the story and the teaching are juxtaposed as
interwoven threads. Those readers only wanting
information will be challenged by the experiential ow of
thought designed to provoke imaginative engagement.
Those only looking for experience (the obvious main aim
of this book) will be also be provoked by its teaching
content. You are invited into a journey of personal
revelation.
David Crabtree
Senior Leader, DaySpring Church,
Castle Hill, NSW, Australia
“The surest way to speak a word of authority is to speak a
word that you have been given personal insight on by
experience in God. That sort of thing can never be taken
from you. Nothing can diminish the effect of that word in
your life. I can forget what I have learned to memorize. I
can forget the key phrases and slogans, but I can never
forget my experiences in God.“ —Bill Johnson
 CONTENTS

Foreword by Bill Johnson

Introduction

Chapter 1
Healing the Whole Man ~ Beni Johnson
Chapter 2
Pure Love
Chapter 3
Too Stupid to Be Loved
Chapter 4
Love Above All
Chapter 5
You Can See
Chapter 6
Hurdling Obstacles to Seeing
Chapter 7
He Will Never Reject You
Chapter 8
Sitting on the Father’s Lap
Chapter 9
Run Into the Light
Chapter 10
The Beautiful Garden
Chapter 11
Released From Strongholds
Chapter 12
The City of God
Chapter 13
Object Lesson of Remembering
Chapter 14
More Object Lessons
Chapter 15
Secret Love
Chapter 16
The Cross of Love and Obedience
Chapter 17
Even More Object Lessons
Chapter 18
Intimately His
Chapter 19
Hearts
Chapter 20
Having Fun in the Garden
Chapter 21
Finding Your Way Back to Intimacy
Chapter 22
Blessings and Other Garden Experiences
Chapter 23
The Fountain
Chapter 24
The Path to Destiny
Chapter 25
Taking Others to Heaven
Chapter 26
Bringing Krystal to Heaven
Chapter 27
Testimonies
Chapter 28
Letting Go and Letting God ~ Beni Johnson
Conclusion
 FOREWORD

“A sated man loathes honey, but to a famished man any

bitter thing is sweet” (Prov. 27:7). This verse, perhaps more
than any other, describes why some enter into the realms of
God more easily than others. When we are full and satis ed
we become critics, while those who are desperate tend to
rejoice in anything that is available. The actual capacity to
discern diminishes with the lack of hunger. That is why so
many experts missed Jesus when He came. They were
satis ed with their religious system and lost the hunger for
the greater things. But this is a new day.
I have never been more thrilled with what I see God
doing in the Church than I am right now. While we have
our challenges, the hunger that is truly a gift from God is at
the highest point I’ve ever seen. And it is spreading
worldwide.
Hunger produces people who will live with risk,
believing in a big God and little devil. This hun ger for the
authentic Gospel, the kind preached and experienced in the
Bible, is increasingly burning within the hearts of so many.
And our perfect heavenly Father is ready to answer by
giving the Holy Spirit and not a stone to those who ask.
When hunger gets strong, people experience the things of
God in new ways.
Judy Franklin and Beni Johnson have written a book that
is very timely in that it answers part of the heart’s cry of
the people of God. Our hunger is for Him. But often we
stop short of a God encounter because we are satis ed with
good theology. Theology is wonderful. But it is not the
same as the invitation from God to encounter Him in new
and deeper ways. For example, the whole concept of being
“seated in heavenly places in Christ” was never meant to be
reduced to a doctrine (see Eph. 2:6). It was always meant
to be an invitation from God to encounter Him and live
from Heaven’s perspective. But short of an experience, we
can only imagine. Once again we fall short, as God is not
an idea, a formula, or a ritual. He is a person to be known,
and One with whom we interact.
These two authors are among the most quali ed people I
know for such an endeavor to write a book about
experiencing God. One is my wife and the other is my
secretary. And yes, I am biased. But I have watched as the
life of fruitfulness needed for such a book has been lived in
public and in private. The really fun part of this journey is
to watch how their stories and experiences stir the hearts of
people for more of what God has made available in our
day. They are, in fact, introducing many of us to part of
our inheritance in Christ:
an inheritance of encountering God and experiencing
realms of Heaven now.
Their insights are rich with hope and full of promise. In
reading this book, one cannot help but wonder how much
more God will give us in this lifetime. It’s as though they
give us permission to pursue God, assuming nothing would
be withheld from us if we asked. It’s not too good to be
true. It’s so good it is true.
Pray, laugh, and sing, all while reading. Experiencing the
Heavenly Realm is a journey you won’t soon forget.
Bill Johnson
Pastor, Bethel Church, Redding, CA
Author of When Heaven Invades Earth and Face to Face
with God
 INTRODUCTION

Bill Johnson recently said, “One of the greatest needs in

the Church right now is a revelation of Heaven. The reason
being that God wants to entrust the resources of earth to a
people who have their heart anchored in another world.”
Throughout this book the “I” refers to the author, Judy
Franklin. The exception being Chapters 1 and 28, which
were written by Beni Johnson.
Heavenly experiences are what this book is about…a
heart anchored in another world. Hopefully you will see
how you can have a closer relationship with the Father,
Son, and Holy Spirit. I will share some of my own
heavenly experiences as well as stories of others. In
addition, I will outline obstacles to seeing and show you
how to have heavenly experiences for yourself.
As you read the stories about these experiences, my hope
and prayer is for you to learn how to develop a more
intimate relationship with the Lord on your own. Jesus so
desires to have a deeper relationship with you. He wants
you to know Him and know His ways, not just know about
Him.
A relationship by de nition is a connection, behavior, or
feelings toward somebody else—friendship. That’s the kind
of relationship God wants with you. We can’t know
someone by just reading a book about him or her. To have
a relationship we have to connect and interact with that
person.
One day the Lord spoke to me. He simply said, “Ronald
Reagan” (our president at the time). And that’s all He said.
I waited but He said nothing else.
So I said, “Yes, he’s our president.”
Then God said, “You can read about him every day.”
“Yes, I can read about him in magazines and books,” I
replied.
He said, “You can hear about him every day.”
Well of course, I thought, I could hear about him on the
television, radio, or even in conversations with people who
are discussing him or what he’s doing.
He went on, “And you are affected by what he does.”
“Oh yes, he signs bills and laws that do affect my life.”
Then He asked, “How well do you know him?”
Wow! I was brought up short. I didn’t know Ronald
Reagan at all. I really only knew about him.
The Lord said, “You can read about Me every day.”
I responded, “Yes, in the Bible and different books.”
He said, “You can hear about Me every day.”
And I said, “Yes, on the television, radio, and at church.”
Then the Lord said, “You are affected by what I do.”
“Oh yes.” I knew where this was going.
Finally, the Lord asked, “How well do you know Me?”
I realized then that I knew about Him, but I didn’t really
know Him on a personal basis. He wants us to know Him.
 No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know
what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for
all things that I have heard from My Father I have made
known to you (John 15:15).
The Lord has called us friends. Well, it takes more than
reading, hearing, or being a ected by what someone does
to actually be a friend. The heavenly realm is open to a
new level of friendship. It is a mystery. How can we be
friends with the God of the universe, the God of eternity,
the God of power and might? Jesus said:
…To you it has been granted to know the mysteries of the
kingdom of God, but to the rest it is in parables,
so that SEEING THEY MAY NOT SEE, AND HEARING
THEY MAY NOT UNDERSTAND (Luke 8:10).
I don’t want to be someone who just knows the parables.
I want to know the mysteries. Don’t you?
Out of this place of relationship come visions that
connect our natural world to His spiritual realm. These
visions release us not only into pure love but into a close
connection with God.
These experiences with God will remove obstacles that
keep us from receiving more of Him, learning more about
Him, and becoming healed, whole, and intimate with Him.
While you are experiencing His pure love you discover
you’ve stepped onto the path of your destiny.
I once read a quote attributed to Deitrich Bonhoe er, a
German theologian who was executed by the Nazis in
World War II: “Truth divorced from experience must always
dwell in the realm of doubt.” Think about that. Truth
without an experience can create a niggle of doubt in your
mind. You may know God is able and willing to heal
people, because the Scriptures say so, and you’ve read that
Jesus healed everyone who came to Him. Yet you may
struggle with thoughts that God is not willing to heal
because you have never seen or experienced healing for
yourself or someone you’ve prayed for.
It’s important that you have your own experiences with
God. Our God is loving and kind and He wants an intimate
relationship with us. Randall Worley once said, “If God
only wanted us to do things, then He would have made us
angels. He wants a relationship with us.”
My prayer for you as you read the following pages is
that you will nd a path of knowing a loving and kind God
who wants a relationship with you and wants you to soar
like the eagle.
 CHAPTER 1

HEALING THE WHOLE MAN

by Beni Johnson

God’s desire and design is to meet us, heal us, and love
us. He will do anything He can to accomplish that meeting.
He will spilt the heavens wide open for us to come to Him.
He longs for us more than we long for Him. There is
nothing more exciting than seeing a person connect to the
heart of Heaven.
Years ago my husband and I were talking with a pastor.
He was at the end of his rope so to speak, telling us he had
tried everything to get answers and direction. He was tired
and burned out and didn’t know what else to do. We talked
some more, and I nally looked at him and said, “You
need to soak!” He looked at me and said, “Tell me about
that.” I told him he needed to lie on the oor, put a good
worship CD on, and just lie there. I went on to tell him that
he shouldn’t ask or even talk to God, just soak in His
presence and listen. He stared at me for a moment and said,
“That’s actually what I need.” It was kind of fun to watch
his face as he “got it.” It made sense.
 I feel strongly that God wants to connect with us more
than we want to connect with Him. We need to stop and
lay all the things that entangle us down and enter into His
rest. And to top that o , when someone who is broken has
a heavenly encounter, so much healing can take place in
that moment.
Before Jesus ascended to Heaven to be at the right hand
of the Father, He commissioned us.

…All authority has be e n give n to Me in he ave n and on e arth.

Go the re fore and make disciple s of all the nations, baptizing
the m in the name of the Fathe r and of the Son and of the
Holy Spirit, te aching the m to obse rve all things that I have
commande d you… (Matthew 28:18-20 NKJV).

What are those “all things” in verse 20? Matthew 10:8

tells us that we are to “heal [cure] the sick, raise the dead,
cleanse the lepers, cast out demons.” So Jesus has been
given authority, and He turns to us His disciples and tells
us to go and do all the things that He was given authority
to do.
When we look at Matthew 10:8 and read the part about
healing the sick, many of us automatically think of physical
healing. In the Greek language, the word sick (as-then-eh’-
o) means “to be diseased, impotent, made weak or to be
feeble in any sense.” 1
When I look at that verse, I see it saying all sickness—
inside and out. God wants all men and women and children
to be well from the inside out or the outside in. Anyone
who is feeble in any sense, any person who is impotent,
which is “deficient in capacity,” can be healed.
You don’t have to go very far to see that many are in a
place of needing the healing presence that comes and heals
the feebleness—that impotence that keeps us void of life
and vigor. Many people come to us as Christians needing
that encounter with God. They are so in need of having
strength to get through a day. They come in brokenness
looking for something to help them. Isn’t it amazing that
Jesus entrusted us to take His authority and release it onto
others in need? To bring them into an encounter with the
Most Holy One, to let them see how much God loves them?
I once did a mini-study on Isaiah 61:1-9 (NKJV), and I
found some interesting things:
The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me
Because the Lord has anointed Me
To preach good tidings to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives,
And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord,
And the day of vengeance of our God;
To comfort all who mourn,
To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
That they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.
And they shall rebuild the old ruins,
They shall raise up the former desolations,
And they shall repair the ruined cities,
The desolations of many generations.
Strangers shall stand and feed your flocks,
And the sons of the foreigner
Shall be your plowmen and your vinedressers.
But you shall be named the priests of the Lord,
They shall call you the servants of our God.
You shall eat the riches of the Gentiles,
And in their glory you shall boast.
Instead of your shame you shall have double honor,
And instead of confusion they shall rejoice in their portion.
Therefore in their land they shall possess double;
Everlasting joy shall be theirs.
For I, the Lord, love justice;
I hate robbery for burnt offering;
I will direct their work in truth,
And will make with them an everlasting covenant.
Their descendants shall be known among the Gentiles,
And their offspring among the people.
All who see them shall acknowledge them,
That they are the posterity whom the Lord has blessed.
Several years back I had been doing some work with one
of our pastors who helped people with very shattered
pasts. Some of these people had been so shattered as small
children that they had departmentalized their personalities
out of a need for safety from abuse. They were truly
shattered in their minds. We would pray and counsel with
them and help them get to a place of safety so they could
integrate back to a whole personality.
One day during this time I was reading this passage in
Isaiah, which is a prophetic word concerning Jesus. I
started looking up the meaning of some of the words. Verse
1 in NKJV says, “heal the brokenhearted,” which means “to
bind up.” I also found that the word brokenhearted means
“shattered minds.”2 So this prophetic verse in Isaiah
foretold Jesus coming to earth many years in the future
with this as one of His assignments: to take those shattered
in their minds and to bind them up as one would bind up a
wound, to bring healing.
We also nd in this passage that those who mourn are to
be consoled and comforted and that they will be given
beauty for their ashes, joy for their mourning, and a
garment of praise for their heaviness.
Then in verse 3 we see a change. God gives these people
their identity. Those who have been shattered now become
trees of righteousness that God Himself will plant for His
glory.
In verses 4-7 (NKJV), we see that God gives those who
now have identity a destiny. Read this passage again:
And they shall rebuild the old ruins,
They shall raise up the former desolations,
And they shall repair the ruined cities,
The desolations of many generations.
Strangers shall stand and feed your flocks,
And the sons of the foreigner
Shall be your plowmen and your vinedressers.
But you shall be named the priests of the Lord,
They shall call you the servants of our God.
You shall eat the riches of the Gentiles,
And in their glory you shall boast.
Instead of your shame you shall have double honor,
And instead of confusion they shall rejoice in their portion.
Therefore in their land they shall possess double;
Everlasting joy shall be theirs.
Now we see how God has healed and restored, yet He has
not only restored but also brought them into who they are
and what they are to do.
The James Mo att translation of the Bible says, “They
su ered shame in double measure, abuse and insult were
their lot; so now in their own land they shall get double—
theirs is a lasting joy” (Isa. 61:7).
It’s obvious what this passage is telling us: those who
come out of brokenness can and will come into a great
destiny. They will take those things, those places that have
been ruined and in desolation for many generations and
restore them. And, not only that, they will have lasting joy,
everlasting joy!
It is like a huge dose of authority will be given to them.
The devil tries to destroy us and keep us in our brokenness,
and Jesus comes along and says, “Here, take Me. Let Me
show you who you really are. Let Me show you your
future.”
I believe that when God sets you free from a disease of
the body, soul, or spirit, you now have an authority to help
others come into healing from that very thing you were
delivered from.
Many years ago I was plagued with depression. Self-pity
was my friend. I’m talking about the gut kind of depression
that eats you up, the despair that attacks your inner being.
When I was in my late teens, God delivered me from all
depression in an instant. I will never forget that day. I was
walking out of a bathroom and I cried out inside of me,
“God, if You don’t deliver me from this, I don’t know what
will happen to me.” It wasn’t that I was trying to boss God
around; it was a very desperate cry for help. As I stepped
through the door of the bathroom, I was set free. It lifted
and has never returned after all these years. Now that’s the
way to get free! I wish it could be that way for all of us.
As I got older and matured in Christ, I found that an
authority had been given to me to help others get free.
When God comes and sets a person free, he or she is placed
into his destiny. When you see people who are ravished,
shattered, and broken come into freedom, it is a grace and
a beauty to behold. Then that free person steps into his
anointing and destiny, and you watch him take another
broken person by the hand. There is compassion to see
freedom come.
That’s the way of Love, and that’s the way of our Father.
 I’ve written all that to say this:
There are many who are coming out of brokenness who
will step into their destinies and will carry unique giftings
and anointings. As with Judy, each of them will be very
unique. And they need a place in the Body of Christ to use
their gifts. They need leadership to pastor and keep them
safe. I have watched so many be set free and—best of all—
fall in love with the Trinity through the simple act of
having a heavenly encounter. This is what Judy leads
people into.
For all of us who come out of brokenness and are seeking
true union with God, and not just with people, this realm
of the heavenly is open to us. I believe that God loves to
show us His realm and is longing for us to see and feel
what it is like to be with Him. Why not begin to
experience His heavenly realm while we wait for His
return or our own homegoing?
 Endnotes
1. “sick.” Strong’s Concordance Greek Lexicon, 772.
Accessed 2010. http://www.eliyah.com/lexicon.html.
2. Brown, Driver, Briggs and Gesenius. “Hebrew Lexicon
entry for Shabar.” The KJV Old Testament Hebrew
Lexicon. Accessed 2010. http://www.
biblestudytools.com/lexicons/hebrew/kjv/shabar. html.
 CHAPTER 2

PURE LOVE

Within God’s presence, within His glory, a love exists

that is seemingly incomprehensible. This love even goes
beyond the love described in First Corinthians 13. It is the
love we have forever imagined and hoped for. It is bigger,
better, and greater than anything we could ever have
thought possible. I felt it intensely one day during a
Heaven-initiated encounter. I know that this love is for
me…for you…for all people. No matter how evil or how
good we are, He still loves us. His love is complete. He
doesn’t love one over the other. His heart beats with love.
He truly is love. I know. I felt it, saw it, and breathed it.
Floored by Love
What does this love feel like? Let me tell you…it is
beyond wonderful. The rst time I felt this love was at my
home church, Bethel Church in Redding, California. I had
been called up on the platform to share about a God-
encounter that I had experienced on a recent trip to
Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship. I shared about seeing
Jesus, and after I shared I honestly don’t know what
happened.
However, I suddenly found myself lying on the oor in
front of the whole church. For some reason this struck me
funny. Being new to this, I didn’t know what I should do
nex t. Should I jump up quickly and act like nothing
happened? Do I roll or crawl o the stage? As the service
went on I nally decided I would just sit up, and maybe
Karen, who was sitting by me, would instruct me on what
to do next. Well, I could not get up. It was as though I was
glued to the oor. So then I thought, I might as well lie here
and listen to the rest of the service. But God had another
idea.
As I was lying there, I saw a vision of God’s hand
holding a rock. Then with His other hand God began
knocking on the rock and it started to crack like an
eggshell. As the pieces of rock fell away, I realized that in
His hand He was holding a heart. The heart was dark and
was barely moving. As He held the heart, the color
returned and the heart began beating more strongly. He
then said, “This is what I’m doing in the Body—the Church.
I’m causing the hardness to fall away and am restoring
health.”
The Light
Then I looked up and saw the brightest, most beautiful
light. I was in awe of its beauty. I said repeatedly to Karen,
“Look! It’s so beautiful.” The “light” kept coming closer to
me, growing in size. I don’t understand how, but I knew
the light was God’s glory, His very presence. Earlier I had
been having encounters during prayer where I would see a
large castle door opening, followed by a light coming
through the doorway, covering me. This light felt
wonderful and I was compelled to worship. I realized that
this beautiful light represented God’s presence, His glory.
This light had visited me every day for three months and I
hadn’t known what it was.
As I lay on the platform the glory got so low that I could
reach my hand out and touch it. Oh how soft, how
wonderful it was. It kept coming down and it became so
bright that I could hardly keep my eyes open. I put my
hand over my eyes, peeking through my ngers until I
nally had to keep my eyes shut or be blinded. Still it kept
coming. I breathed it in with every breath I took. It lled
my lungs and permeated my very being. The glory was
heavy and it felt like I was being pushed down, even
though I was on the floor.
Finally, I knew that I couldn’t take this glory on my
physical being anymore. I felt like I was going to die, but I
wasn’t afraid. In fact, I didn’t even care. What a way to go!
Very calmly I told Him, “Well, I’m going to die now.” As I
waited in His presence the glory started to withdraw. I
didn’t realize it at rst, but I eventually found that I could
open my eyes. I could still see the glory light and could
wave my hand through it, but it was receding. I called out
to Him, “Don’t go, or if you go, take me with You.” I didn’t
want to live without that presence—a presence that felt like
pure love, the purest love that I had ever known, lling all
of my senses.
By the time I was able to get up from the platform, the
service was over. About a month later I was given the
opportunity to share what had happened to me with our
congregation.
 CHAPTER 3

TOO STUPID TO BE LOVED

You see, this was the rst time in my life I had felt love.
I thought that I was someone who just could not be loved,
and as a result I had a hard time receiving any love. It may
seem silly to you, but the circumstances in my life told me
that it was true.
Painful Memories
I grew up knowing my dad did not want me. While other
children had cute little nicknames, my nickname was
“whang-brain.” If I spilled my milk at dinner, which was
probably often, my dinner was put on the kitchen oor. I
was told I had to eat like a dog because I was sloppy, or I
was put in the bathtub with my food. My dad liked my
brother and preferred him over me. Whenever he had to
take us somewhere, he would tell my brother to come with
him and tell me to stay in the car. I knew he was ashamed
of me, but I did not understand why.
I wrote Dear Abby once when I was about 9 years old
and asked her why my dad didn’t love me even though I
tried to do what was right. The letter was never sent, but
my mother found it and gave it to my dad. I can remember
sitting on the end of my bed right by the door, listening
closely, hoping he would say that he did love me after all.
Instead, he bellowed that maybe he could love me if I
wasn’t so stupid. So that was the problem. I was stupid,
and stupid people can’t be loved.
It became clear when I was in the rst grade that I was
not as bright as the other children. But it wasn’t until I was
in the eighth grade that I was tested and found to have
learning disabilities. I was then put in the “mentally
retarded” class, as it was called at the time. Yes, I was
stupid and this was why my dad was ashamed of me.
Unfortunately, I never really felt loved by my mother
either. My mother was a broken person and was unable to
protect me from the meanness of my father. One day, when
I was 3 or 4 years old, my mother was painting the living
room and accidentally left a cup of turpentine on the
kitchen table. I awoke from a nap and went into the
kitchen. Thinking the cup was lled with water, I drank it.
I was rushed to the hospital and had my stomach pumped.
After I returned home, my kidneys started to shut down. I
found out much later that my mother called a doctor and
begged him to come to the house. We didn’t have very
much money and she told him she would pay him a dime a
month for the rest of her life, which was not easy in the
early 1950s. He had compassion; he came and put me on
antibiotics and again my life was saved. About the time I
turned 14, my mother became a full- edged alcoholic and
physically, mentally, and emotionally wasn’t there for
anyone.
My dad’s mother came to live with us sometime after the
turpentine incident. I found out much later that my
grandmother didn’t like my mother and had tried to talk
my dad into leaving her. One day while she was taking
care of my brother and me, she took me on her lap. She
told me that my mother had left the paint thinner out on
purpose because I was no good. She said that I would never
be any good, no matter how hard I tried, because my
mother was evil.
So I grew up feeling unloved, stupid, and worthless.
Years later, after I was married, my grandmother lay dying
of cancer and she began to ask forgiveness from everyone
she had hurt. Realizing she did not have much time, she
became insistent that she had to see me. By the time the
family asked me to come see her, she was comatose and
unable to speak. I believe the reason that she so wanted to
see me was because she wanted to ask for forgiveness, and I
have forgiven her.
The Enemy’s Lies
Of course we all do stupid things, but it was di erent for
me. Whenever I did something stupid, I felt a constant
reminder that I was unlovable. Even after I married and had
children, I never believed my husband truly loved me.
How could he love me? I still did stupid things. Oh how I
loved my children, but I just knew in my heart that as they
grew up, they would realize I was stupid and they wouldn’t
love me anymore.
Embarrassed and ashamed of my stupidity, I became
quiet and withdrawn. I was afraid that if I talked to people
they would quickly gure out my stupidity. I lived afraid
of being found out. Silent and hurt, I learned to hide. No
one around me knew what I was thinking or feeling. This is
how the enemy works. He uses shame and fear to keep us
quiet and alone.
So when I felt, saw, and breathed God’s love into me, it
literally changed my life. I was amazed that someone loved
me. I absolutely fell in love with Him. At that moment I
gained a father, brother, teacher, companion, and friend—
not someone I read about, but someone I knew. He loved
me with an incomprehensible love that I actually
experienced. I was convinced that:

…ne ithe r de ath, nor life , nor ange ls, nor principalitie s, nor
things pre se nt, nor things to come , nor powe rs, nor he ight,
nor de pth, nor any othe r cre ate d thing, will be able to
se parate [me] from the love of God, which is in Christ Je sus
[my] Lord (Romans 8:38-39).
 I can’t say that overcoming rejection was instant for me
at this point. However, this was the beginning of my
healing process. I’m also not saying that it can’t be
instantaneous—it can—but for me it has been a process. It’s
very important to have our minds renewed (see Rom. 12:2)
so that we believe the truth and not a lie. David wrote,
“When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord
will take me up” (Ps. 27:10 KJV).
Also, as I began to understand that my parents were
raised in dysfunctional homes and were rejected
themselves, it became much easier for me to forgive them.
And forgiveness is the key. I, who has been forgiven so
much, was able to forgive my parents for their seeming
rejection of me. Now I know I have a Father in Heaven that
absolutely loves me and will never reject me.
 CHAPTER 4

LOVE ABOVE ALL

Once I discovered the purity of this always-and-forever

love, I had to give it away to others. Now when I minister
by leading groups into their own encounters with God, I’m
surprised at the number of people who don’t understand
how much their God, their Father, loves them. Somehow
religion has us believing what the enemy says instead of
God’s Word. If we focus on some of the harsher Old
Testament Scriptures, we can view God as vengeful and
punishing. If we ignore the Scriptures that demonstrate and
declare God’s love for us, forgetting we live under the New
Covenant of grace, we turn God into a disciplinarian
instead of the lover of our very beings. Paul the apostle
states that God values love above all.

If I spe ak with the tongue s of me n and of ange ls, but do not

have love , I have be come a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
If I have the gift of prophe cy, and know all myste rie s and all
knowle dge ; and if I have all faith, so as to re move
mountains, but do not have love , I am nothing. And if I give
all my posse ssions to fe e d the poor, and if I surre nde r my
body to be burne d, but do not have love , it profits me nothing.
Love is patie nt, love is kind and is not je alous; love doe s not
brag and is not arrogant, doe s not act unbe comingly; it doe s
not se e k its own, is not provoke d, doe s not take into account
a wrong su e re d, doe s not re joice in unrighte ousne ss, but
re joice s with the truth; be ars all things, be lie ve s all things,
hope s all things, e ndure s all things. Love ne ve r fails…. But
now faith, hope , love , abide the se thre e ; but the gre ate st of
the se is love (1 Corinthians 13:1-8,13).
Love
The greatest of these is love, but somehow we question
His love. Does He really love me? I’m not even close to
perfect, and it’s easy to feel inadequate and guilty about not
being good enough. But God loves me and I can say along
with Paul:

Not that I have alre ady obtaine d it or have alre ady be come
pe rfe ct, but I pre ss on so that I may lay hold of that for which
also I was laid hold of by Christ Je sus. Bre thre n, I do not
re gard myse lf as having laid hold of it ye t; but one thing I do:
forge tting what lie s be hind and re aching forward to what lie s
ahe ad, I pre ss on toward the goal for the prize of the upward
call of God in Christ Je sus (Philippians 3:12-14).

It is so wonderful that God’s Word says He loves me,

“See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that
we would be called children of God; and such we are…” (1
John 3:1). But I know God loves me, not just because His
Word says so, but because I’ve heard Him say He loves me.
I love words. Bernie Ooley, a wonderful Bible teacher at
Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry (BSSM), said that
words are like packages and you have to unwrap them.
Have you ever thought about what patience really means?
It’s “the quality of enduring, constant in pursuit,
persevering, calmly diligent.”1 God pursues us because He
loves us so. Or consider kindness: “showing tenderness or
goodness, disposed to do good and confer happiness,
averse to hurting or paining.” That is our God—patient and
kind.
 If you want to see into this Heaven realm, you have to
believe in His patience and kindness. Otherwise you will
be fearful of Him. If you don’t take into account all that
Jesus has done for you, fear will punish you. It is
important that you don’t take His kindness, tolerance, and
patience lightly. For it is the kindness of God that leads us
to repentance (see Rom. 2:4).
Kindness
When I feel the need to repent, I remember it is God’s
kindness and goodness leading me to change, not His
judgment or harshness. God is so kind. He does not want to
hurt me and He has a non-threatening way of showing me
when I’m wrong. I remember one day He brought me to a
place in the spirit realm that had a huge stairway reaching
up very high. I could barely see the top. After straining to
see what was at the top of the staircase, I realized I was
seeing a door. I love to see new places and so I started
climbing…and climbing. and climbing. It seemed like it
took forever. It felt like I wasn’t making any progress.
Eventually I reached the top of the staircase. I was about to
open the door and see what delights were on the other side
when the Father said, “Oh, I’m sorry, but you can’t go in
there.”
Can’t go in there? I thought. Here I’ve been climbing these
stairs for such a long time. I’ve nally arrived at the top only
to be told I can’t go in there? “But why?” I asked.
The Lord said, “Because you are angry with someone.”
As soon as He said it I knew exactly what He meant.
Earlier that day something had happened and I had become
angry with someone. I realized that right at that moment I
still carried anger.
The truth struck me that my sin can keep me from
walking into new places that the Lord wants to show me.
The Lord didn’t get angry with me or chide me. He quietly
and gently told me about something that was keeping me
from walking into another adventure with Him.
 It is so much easier to repent when you don’t feel that
God is mad at you. He never has to be harsh because He
loves us and wants the best for us. That’s a love
relationship. The primary reason I repent, or change the
way I think, is because my Father has told me to do so, not
because I know that is what the Bible states I must do. I’ve
come to the realization that Jesus paid a huge price for me,
and my Holy Spirit only wants to lead me into righteous
paths and comfort me along the way.
Walk on with me. There is so much more to discover in
this Kingdom of pure love. But rst, let’s hurdle past some
obstacles so that you can begin to see what lies inside this
Kingdom of love.
 Endnote
1. “patience.” Microsoft Word Dictionary. 2008, version
12.2.4.
 CHAPTER 5

YOU CAN SEE

I believe that you can see into the heavenly realms by

using your spiritual eyes. Ephesians 1:18 says:

I pray that the e ye s of your he art may be e nlighte ne d, so that

you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the
riche s of the glory of His inhe ritance in the saints.

I like that part about the hope of His calling and the
riches and inheritance, but what really catches my attention
is “eyes of your heart.” These aren’t the “eyes of our head,”
which are natural abilities to comprehend the natural world
(though sometimes we see supernatural things—like angels
—with our natural eyes). Rather these are eyes that have
spiritual perception. They perceive natural and
supernatural things. What do you think Paul is saying? I
think he’s saying that he wants the eyes of our spirit to be
opened. Does your spirit really have eyes? In his book
Discovering the Seer in You, James Goll states:

Every born-again believer has two sets of eyes. We have our

 physical eyes, with which we view the physical world around
us. In addition, the apostle Paul talks about a second set of
eyes—the eyes of our heart that can be enlightened to
perceive spiritual truth.1

Jesus repeatedly said, “He who has ears to hear, let him
hear” (see Matt. 11:15; Mark 4:9,23; 7:16; Luke 8:8;
14:35). So, our ears are to hear. I know some people are
deaf, but the vast majority of us can hear. So what did He
mean by this? Could He be talking about our spiritual
(spirit) ears?
First Corinthians 14:2 reminds us, “. one who speaks in a
tongue does not speak to men but to God; for no one
understands, but in his spirithe speaks mysteries.” First
Corinthians 14:14 explains that when we speak in tongues
our spirit is speaking. We know that we are spirit, because
Romans 8:16 states, “The Spirit Himself testi es with our
spirit that we are children of God.” And First Corinthians
2:11 states, “For who among men knows the thoughts of a
man except the spirit of the man which is in him?”
In addition to our spirit, we know we each have a body.
And we know we each have a soul, which is our intellect,
will, and emotions. James 2:26 states, “For just as the body
without the spirit is dead, so also faith without works is
dead.”
The Supernatural Realm
Do you understand what can happen with your spirit in
the spirit realm? You can actually internally see, hear, and
speak with your spiritual eyes, ears, and voice. As I began
to grasp this concept, it began to make more sense to me. I
have often found this concept to be an obstacle to those
who want to see into the spiritual realm but have di culty
doing so. You rst have to realize that it’s not unlike seeing
with our imaginations. Bob Jones, the prophet, uses the
term “sancti ed imagination.” Pastor Bill Johnson says, “A
sancti ed imagination positions you for dreams and
visions.”
To imagine, you form an image of something in your
mind. You actually use your mind to see something that is
unreal. What I’m talking about here isn’t something that
you make up in your mind; it’s something you observe that
didn’t come from your mind. It’s something you
experience. In Discovering the Seer in You, James Goll
states, “I am convinced that any believer can develop the
seer capacity.”2
Now, I can hear people say “That’s just vain imagination
and you’ll go into error if you imagine stu .” I agree that
there is a danger of error if we imagine things. But there is
also a danger of missing out on incredibly powerful and
godly experiences because of the fear of being deceived.
There is also a danger in calling something unclean God
has called clean.
I think my spirit has truly been made alive and my mind
has been washed with the Word. Without claiming any sort
of personal sinlessness or perfection concerning seeing in
God’s realm, I do think my sin nature has been cruci ed
with Christ. It is not normal for me to sin (see Rom. 6).
Sure, I can still do it (much to my chagrin) but it is no
longer natural for me. So I have a great deal of trust in
what Jesus did on the cross for us. With a renewed mind
and heart and my spirit made alive and the Holy Spirit
indwelling me forever, I have con dence that He can lead
me.
Furthermore, Scriptures activate our imaginations all the
time. The prophets and psalmists created plenty of images.
For example, I can only “see” Zechariah’s ying scroll by
letting pictures move before my mind’s eye (see Zech. 5).
The Lord’s prophets called Israel to imagine the judgment
coming on them if they didn’t return to the covenant and to
imagine the blessings if they did. God was hoping this
information and the mental pictures it created would move
them to repentance. Imagination is just another access
point for the Lord to reach us, as are language and music.
I am aware of some of the discussions among prophets
about who has the right to initiate these sorts of heavenly
experiences—God or us. This concern usually arises when I
help lead people as they make themselves available for
God to communicate with them in this way. It seems plain
that God has the right to do so. And we all suppose that we
are quite comfortable with this until someone begins to say
he had a vision—then we get nervous! Can we initiate these
sorts of experiences? I think we can at least ask and make
ourselves available. As you will see from the stories that
follow of my heavenly visions, my own experience is that
sometimes they catch me by surprise and other times I am
praying and waiting and hoping I get caught “by surprise.”
Are these heavenly visions of the same type as people in
the Bible experienced? Do they compare with Paul’s
experience of being caught up in the Third Heaven or with
Ezekiel’s visions? Well, they compare, but I don’t claim
that the things I am seeing and saying are on any level of
inspired authoritative Scripture. Truthfully, I have seen
some things I don’t understand and won’t share until I do. I
do not make a new doctrine or theology out of them. I just
saw them. In the pages ahead I will share with you times
when I thought I had ruined everything by seeing
something I shouldn’t, but then the Holy Spirit
communicated with me that it was OK.
In Scripture there seems to be di erent sorts of
supernatural experiences and visions. I, and I would expect
others, have had a variety of heavenly experiences. During
some of them it feels like I could “come out of it” whenever
I want; other times I am lost in the experience. Always
though, it feels like I am “going” somewhere, if that makes
sense. And I am being led, rather than leading, though I am
free to ask questions and make requests, so it could be said
that I am initiating some of the “action.”
In short, God and I partner in these times. In a few pages
I will share some of my “journeys.” They may read as
simple stories but they have all had a deeply profound
impact on me, and they serve as examples of the sorts of
experiences that may await you.
What About Deception?
At rst I was worried about being deceived. So one day I
talked to Bill Johnson about my concern. He responded by
saying, “Then your God is too small and your devil too
big.” I realized that I loved the Father, Jesus, and the Holy
Spirit, and that the Holy Spirit was my Guide and my
Teacher. I trust Him to lead me in righteous paths, and I
stay accountable to those who are in my life. I know the
Word. So I’m no longer afraid of being deceived. Fear
comes from the enemy, and he doesn’t want us to
experience God. And the truth is that Jesus knows my heart
and is more than able to keep me in His ways. Jude 1:24
states:

Now to Him who is able to ke e p you from stumbling, and to

make you stand in the pre se nce of His glory blame le ss with
gre at joy.

Is it possible that someone will be deceived or “go off the

deep end”? Sure, but what’s not to say they would do so
anyway? People can twist just about anything and become
deceived. We can’t be so afraid of going into error that we
“throw the baby out with the bathwater.” We have to learn
to eat the meat and spit out the bones. Bill Johnson says,
“Overreacting to error often leads to more error.”
Ultimately, we are responsible for ourselves. It’s important
that we don’t become afraid of someone who thinks
di erently from us and stumble over something that is
meant for our good.
 Endnotes
1. James Goll, Discovering the Seer in You, (Destiny Image
Publishers, Inc., 2007), 13.
2. Ibid.
 CHAPTER 6

HURDLING OBSTACLES TO SEEING

Childlike Faith
So how do you learn to see with the eyes of your spirit?
You approach Him with childlike faith and trust and know
that He will embrace you and draw you in. Mark 10:15
states, “Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the
kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all.” Now we
might think that this refers to going to Heaven after we die,
but Jesus said “the Kingdom is at hand” (see Matt. 3:2;
4:17; 10:7; Mark 1:15). The Kingdom is here and it’s for
now. The truth is that we need a childlike attitude now. If
you think about it, God created this planet, setting up the
order He desired. Then the man He created rebelled and
God had to send Jesus to rescue us from our folly. In all of
this He is called Father and we are called children.
First, we trust that our Father only wants the best for us,
just as we only want the best for our children. Therefore we
know that whatever He asks us to do is for our own good.
Think about it. Do you ever ask your children to do
something that is not in their best interest? Would you ask
your child to do something that could cause her physical or
emotional harm? Of course not. How much more our
Father in Heaven loves us! I love to watch the faces of my
children when they open the good gifts I give them. I get as
much pleasure from their joy as they get from receiving the
gifts. Our Father desires to give us good things. He is more
than ready to give us the tools we need to do the work He’s
asked us to do. Are you getting the picture?
Although I can’t give you any statistics, I have found that
people who are unable to be childlike in their attitude
toward God have the most di culty experiencing Him in
any way. I’m not saying we shouldn’t be mature. In
actuality, the mature believer will trust the Father and will
guard his heart, keeping it childlike.
Believe That You Are Forgiven and Forgive
The biggest obstacle to encountering God is believing in
His complete forgiveness. We say we believe in the
doctrine of forgiveness, but we have not captured the truth
of forgiveness in our hearts. And although we try to “fake
it,” our unbelief is re ected in our attitudes and behaviors.
Because we don’t believe in our complete forgiveness, we
then have di culty believing we are “good” enough to get
close to Jesus. Not believing we’re “good” enough is the
companion obstacle to not feeling forgiven.
I’ve prayed with numerous people who can see Jesus “far
o ” in the distance, but when I ask them to draw closer to
Jesus they are unable to do so. At this point I stop and ask
them if they have any unforgiveness in their heart for
others or themselves. Isn’t it sad that we think we’ve
committed too many wrongs to draw near to Jesus? I once
prayed with a girl who saw herself in a scene with Jesus
looking out at the beauty of Heaven. When I asked her
where Jesus was, she said He was standing behind her. I
asked her to turn around, but she couldn’t seem to do so.
She nally began to cry, telling me that she was afraid if
she turned around, Jesus wouldn’t be there. As I prayed
with her she revealed that she had been abandoned by her
dad when he left the family and she put that same fear of
abandonment on Jesus. As much as she loved Jesus, she felt
that He wouldn’t be there for her.
A Needed Lesson
I recall a time when I did something that caused some
people to be hurt by my actions. When I realized what I
had done, I went to them and asked forgiveness. They
forgave me with no hesitation. That night as I was sitting
talking to the Father about this situation, He said something
that I thought sounded harsh. I put my head down as a
child would when being scolded. The Father leaned over to
me with His face close to mine and said so very kindly,
“Don’t ever attribute that tone of voice to Me; I only speak
to you with loving-kindness.”
I was dumbfounded. I said to Him, “Do you mean to tell
me that I can change the way I hear You depending on how
I feel about myself, or how I think You should feel about
me?” This really opened up understanding to me. The next
day, as I was talking to Bill Johnson about this, he
reminded me of a Scripture in John 12:28-29:

“Fathe r, glorify Your name .” The n a voice came out of

he ave n: “I have both glori e d it, and will glorify it again.” So
the crowd of pe ople who s tood b y and he ard it we re
s aying that it had thunde re d; othe rs we re s aying, “An
ange l has s poke n to Him.”

So although everyone heard something, some people

were “impaired” in their hearing. What they heard was
dependent upon whom they believed Jesus to be.
When Jesus died on the cross, He made a full and
complete payment for each and every sin. There is nothing
we can add to what He’s already done! So His voice should
only be heard as a voice that is filled with loving-kindness.
Why don’t you stop right here and think of any sin that
may be holding you back, any sin that makes you feel
ashamed. Maybe you’ve asked forgiveness 100 times
before. Deal with it now. That sin was buried in the grave
along with Jesus; however, when Jesus was resurrected,
your sin was not! Hallelujah! Jesus never goes back to the
grave to see what’s in it and neither should we. God said
that He remembers it no more! (see Heb. 8:12; 10:17).
As a side note to forgiveness, after He talked to me about
the way He speaks to me, I was thinking that I should at
least hang my head around the people I had hurt. After all,
I wanted them to know I was really sorry. Instantly the
Lord said, “If you do that, you are putting the importance
of their forgiveness over the importance of Mine. I forgave
you, even if they didn’t. You are forgiven and you should
act like it.” Let me tell you, it was not easy going to church
the next morning behaving as if I had done nothing wrong.
I was afraid they would think I wasn’t really sorry. I was
afraid…Fear of man is not a good thing to carry around.
Another obstacle to experiencing God’s presence is being
o ended at God. Now people can say they aren’t o ended
at God, not recognizing their feelings of hurt as an o ense
toward God. We know He’s perfect in all of His ways, and
we try to talk our way out of it, but we hurt. In our pain
we just don’t trust Him to do something we ask. Oh we still
ask, but there is disbelief in our asking.
We think, Why would God show me anything heavenly
when He didn’t even answer my other prayer, which was far
more important? We need to answer that in our hearts.
Everyone has prayers that have remained unful lled, but
are we going to respond like David did? “Trust in the Lord
with all your heart and do not lean on your own
understanding” (Prov. 3:5). Or are we going to go into
offense?
Let Go of Shame
We need to let go of our shame. As I said earlier, the
enemy used shame to keep me quiet. Because of my
embarrassment and shame about feeling stupid, I became
quiet and withdrawn. I didn’t want to talk to people
because ultimately I was afraid they would reject me.
Letting go of shame is a companion to forgiveness. Part of
forgiving ourselves is letting go of shame. Jesus does not
shame us and we want to represent Him accurately. So
when we forgive ourselves and let go of shame, we show
the world the greatness of His love. We truly are forgiven
and we need to act like it!
 CHAPTER 7

HE WILL NEVER REJECT YOU

Rejection is another obstacle that keeps us from receiving

His love and seeing Him with the eyes of our spirit. One
day God gave me a vision that not only healed my sense of
rejection but brought me into a greater understanding of
His amazing love. In this vision, I saw my mother on the
birthing table giving birth to me. She was covered with a
sheet and across the sheet was written the word Rejection.
This made sense to me because my mother had lived a very
hard life as one of nine children during the Depression. She
had to quit school to work and help support her family.
Her dad was an angry man who beat her mother and all of
the children.
In the vision I then watched as I was born. As the doctor
held me I saw the word Rejection written on me. At the
time of this vision, I realized that this was a generational
curse. Part of the weight of rejection that I carried was a
result of my mother passing it on to me. But I didn’t know
what to do with this information, and it wasn’t until later
that I understood how to be delivered from this curse.
I ew back to Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship to
attend a conference. As I was lying down in my hotel room
before the rst meeting of the conference, this same vision
came to me again. I saw my mother on the birthing table
and again I could see myself being born. On both of us was
that word, Rejection. But something was di erent this time.
In the previous vision I only had seen the doctor’s arms
holding me. This time the “camera” panned up and I saw
that it was Doctor Jesus holding me. He smiled at the baby
as He pulled the word Rejection o of me, and then His
gaze came up. He looked me square in the eyes and He
smiled at me. What a Savior. What a wonderful, wonderful
Healer. I thought that was the end of it, but He had even a
more complete healing planned for me that trip.
Just a Whisper
On the next to the last night of that conference, I was
sitting across from my friend Claudia Perry on the shuttle
bus that was taking our group back to the hotel. Claudia
called my name, and as I leaned over to look at her, she
mouthed the words, “I love you.” It was nothing dramatic,
but I felt like I had been hit right in my heart. I closed my
eyes, wondering what was happening as His presence grew
stronger. Everyone got up and o the shuttle, but I had a
hard time standing. I was doubled over as I walked into the
hotel. When I got to the elevators and leaned against the
wall, I realized that all of my motor skills were shutting
down. I heard some of the group calling my name, but I
couldn’t answer. Claudia’s husband, Bob, a tall man, came
up behind me and guided me into the elevator. As he let go
of me I fell to the oor. My pastors, Bill and Beni Johnson,
and four other couples were present, and you would think I
would have been embarrassed. However, all I could do was
wonder what was God doing with me. They ended up
carrying me to my room and laying me on my bed, and
then left me there as they went to dinner.
After they left, God came. The room disappeared, and
there I was with both the Father and Jesus. I saw a huge
paper and it started to burn in the middle. As I watched it
burn, I realized that it represented the lie that I believed,
the lie of being unlovable. Oh, I believed that God loved
me. I had experienced God’s love. But could people love
me? No, I was still stupid. So even though I knew God
loved me, I didn’t believe people could love me as well.
However, the lie that I had believed was burning away.
Perhaps you’ve also experienced what it’s like for God to
expose a lie you’ve believed to be true. It’s hard to believe
that you carried such deep-seated thoughts of feeling
unlovable and rejected for so long and it wasn’t even true!
Then the Father reached in and took my heart in His
hands. He and Jesus were looking at my heart, and I
noticed part of it was black. I knew that the black part of
my heart was the area that had been so hurt and damaged.
The Father took His hand, cut o the damaged part, and
threw it away. Then He reached into His own heart and
took some of His heart, joined it to mine, and put it back
in my body. Now I have part of His heart beating in mine.
I can tell you, I didn’t want to come back from that place
of being with Him. To be in His presence, to be with Him,
is the ultimate joy. It is also the place of ultimate freedom
from all that holds us back.
Over and over I have told people that He wants to be
with them more than they want to be with Him. He will
never reject you! He is waiting to meet you in a new way,
a more personal way. It was never God’s intention to get a
mail-order bride for His Son. When we receive Him as our
Savior, He comes and dwells in us. This is the point at
which the Bride and her Groom start their relationship and
their union is consummated. From that point forward we
go on with Him, developing a closer and deeper
relationship with our Groom, discovering the mysteries of
Him, and, dare I say, Him finding out about us.
What a great journey this is. It’s so exciting that every
day we can be with Him.
 CHAPTER 8

SITTING ON THE FATHER’S LAP

I want to repeat what I said just a bit earlier: God always

has more for us. God has more for you! Above all, He
wants to give you His friendship. This is the true purpose
for Christ’s sacri ce on the cross. He created a way for us
to be reunited with our Father, and it is as we learn to walk
in relationship with Him that the full e ect of salvation—
the healing of our souls, spirits, and bodies—begins to
manifest in our lives. We don’t have to wait to nish our
life on this earth before we begin to experience intimacy
with God and the restoration that comes with it.
But God doesn’t want to just heal us. The more that God
had for me was not simply undoing the brokenness in my
life. He wanted to replace it with the thing He had intended
for me from the beginning—a relationship with Him in
which He shares who He is with me so that I can know
Him, become like Him, and partner with Him in history.
Clearly, visions played an enormous role in my healing
journey. But the rest of the story is that God brought me
into these visionary experiences primarily as His way of
relating with me, as you will see. This dimension of my
relationship with God opened up to me in February of
1997 before my rst trip to Toronto. At that time I was
reading a book about prayer called Beyond the Veil by
Alice Smith, which was about getting closer to God. The
title refers to the picture in Scripture of the Tabernacle of
Moses and the Temple, where the presence of God was
kept behind a veil in the Holy of Holies. This veil was torn
at Christ’s death, signifying that we need no longer be kept
from the presence of God but are invited to have a
relationship with Him for ourselves. Well, the Lord began
to invite me beyond the veil.
One night I went to bed and as I began to pray, I could
see a door open partway. At that point in my life I didn’t
know it was possible for me to know His presence like
that. I had never felt anything like it before. It was so sweet
and so holy.
As I experienced His presence, I stopped praying
because all I wanted to do was to worship Him. With this
amazing awareness of Him came the absolute knowledge of
how great and awesome He is. This continued to happen
every night—me starting to pray, only to have the door
open a bit and nding I could not stop myself from
worshiping God. I was compelled to worship because the
atmosphere was so magni cent. Part of the word worship
means “to kiss.”
Open Door
Then in May of 1997, right after that rst trip to
Toronto, I started to pray one night when the partially
opened door suddenly swung wide open. I found myself in
a place with two gures standing in front of me. When the
door rst opened, I could only see “through a glass darkly”
and I could not distinguish details or features (see 1 Cor.
13:12 KJV). There was no real color, just a foggy grayness.
I did know that the two images I saw were the Father and
Jesus. In that rst experience beyond the door, I simply
stood before them and talked with them.
Every time I prayed I would nd myself in this same
place. One day I felt a little discouraged and I asked the
Father if He would give me a hug—not really thinking that
anything would happen or be di erent than the usual foggy
state of the vision. But at that point things became clearer,
the grayness dissipated, and my “eyes” were able to see
things more clearly. I saw then that God was on a throne,
and the left side of the throne had steps leading up to the
Father.
Into His Lap
When I saw this, I ran and climbed up the steps and sat
on His lap. In the vision I was the size of a four-year-old in
comparison to His adult size. In fact, for the rst couple of
years in all of my visions I appeared as a little girl, even
though my mind was in my present adult state. I tried to
wrap my arms around His middle but my arms only came
halfway to His sides, like trying to buckle a seat belt with
only half of the belt. Then He wrapped His arms around
me. I actually felt His arms—not just the sensation of being
touched, but the substance and weight of His arms around
me. Never before had I felt such peace and love. It was
tangible.
During subsequent visions with Him, I found myself
sitting in His lap—me loving Him and Him loving me.
How content I was to be there, knowing that nothing
mattered but this togetherness. Of course I thought that I
was just imagining all of it. After all, who sits on God’s lap
and talks to Him? But I didn’t care at all. I physically felt
His love and the deep pleasure He took in me being there
with Him. Whenever I was upset or out of sorts about
something, all it took to get a proper perspective was to be
with Him. He was God. He had the answers and I trusted
Him.
I couldn’t nd anything in the Word that said what I was
experiencing was wrong. So the visions grew more and
more real to me. I wondered if I was just imagining these
times, but the experiences occurred in such a fashion that I
had no forethought as to what was going to happen next.
During these experiences I checked my heart constantly. I
had more checks on myself than there are in the mail, and
yet I seemed to know that it could not be anything but
right. It was the right place to be for the rest of my life.
 CHAPTER 9

RUN INTO THE LIGHT

Although I knew I was in the right place, at some point I

started to get restless. I knew there was more and this
throne room place was just a beginning. There was so
much more knowledge of Him for me to have. I wanted to
know His heart. Moses met God face to face and he knew
His ways, not just His deeds (see Ps. 103:7). So one day I
stood up on God’s lap and put my arms around His neck
with my face next to His and my mouth next to His ear. I
whispered, “My Father, I want to go deeper in You.” Then I
turned my head and kissed His cheek.
This asking to go deeper continued for about a month. It
got to the point where I was begging Him to take me
deeper, just like a child tugging at her Daddy’s arm, “Can I,
can I, can I, huh?” At one point I stood before the throne,
grabbed Jesus’ hand, pulled Him over, and said, “Father, I
want to go deeper with You. I am praying this prayer and
Jesus, who is interceding for me, is agreeing with my
words.” I continued beseeching God, “I know this is OK
because it is Your will that we pursue You. So Father, Jesus
and I are in agreement for this to be done.”
 My Father replied with a simple, “OK.” OK—just like it
was nothing and that this was the rst time I had made that
particular request.
God showed me the kingdom of darkness, and between
the kingdom of darkness and the Kingdom of Light was a
huge chasm. There was a bridge over the chasm and I knew
what this meant. The bridge was Jesus. A lot of people
were standing on the bridge, and they represented all those
who had accepted Jesus as their Savior but had never
moved from that place. They never really entered into the
Kingdom of Light.
God showed me that I was not on the bridge. I was in the
Kingdom of Light, but I was standing right beside the
bridge, next to the chasm. Because I was so close to the
kingdom of darkness, the enemy could shoot spit wads at
me. While the wads didn’t really hurt me when they
splattered on my skin, they were gross and I was constantly
picking o the slimy, sloppy things (shudder). Once in a
while a rock was thrown at me, but the distance was great
and there wasn’t enough momentum for the rocks to really
hurt me. Even so, it was annoying and sometimes the rocks
had sharp points that nicked me. This didn’t cause me
much pain, but it was a nuisance.
Run!
The Lord told me to run into the Kingdom of Light. I
started to run as fast as I could. The terrain was hilly, more
like mounds, and it was so bright that I wished I had my
sunglasses with me. The ground was the color of maize and
the sky was a startling celestial blue. I ran and ran, but I
couldn’t see anything. Finally I stopped and looked around,
and as far as I could see was maize-colored ground and
bright blue sky. The emptiness of the land and the absence
of sound felt strange to me. There was a surreal sense about
it, like walking into the foreground of a Salvador Dali
landscape. Then I heard Him say again, “Run, run, run into
the Kingdom of Light.” So o I went again, running farther
toward the horizon of yellow and blue.
I ran until I came upon my Father’s throne, and there I
found my Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit all dancing.
The Holy Spirit was twirling around like a miniature
tornado, spinning joy. The Father and Jesus were dancing a
primitive-type dance that was full of passion and rejoicing.
What a picture!
The Father’s dance was rather undigni ed—certainly not
a waltz by any means. I wondered, How can I really be
seeing the Maker of the Universe being so exuberant? To
tell the truth, I felt a little embarrassed. After His dance,
my Father sat down on His throne and called me up to sit
on His lap. He noticed my uneasiness and asked me what
was wrong. Dispassionately I said, “Oh nothing.” Oh
nothing? Talk about a “Sarah moment”—my response was
about as lame as Sarah denying to God that she laughed
when He said she would bear a son at age 90 (see Gen.
18:12). He told me that I was to tell Him what was wrong
and I said I thought His dance was perhaps a bit
undigni ed—after all, He was God. Oh how He laughed
and threw His arms out, declaring enthusiastically, “I love
to dance. I created the dance.”
As soon as He said that, I completely understood in
every part of me that it was all OK because He created the
dance and He can dance any which way He chooses. “But
our God is in the heavens; He does whatever He pleases”
(Ps. 115:3). I remembered how David danced before the
Ark of the Covenant in total abandon because he was so
happy. Was this what God was doing? Was the Father
showing His joy? I was so happy to be there and He was so
happy that I was there too. Oh how we danced in our joy.
After this experience, the maize place became the place
where I met my Father. But I still knew there was more. I
knew it more deeply than ever before. So, very shortly
after I came into the maize place, I climbed back on my
Father’s lap, stood and whispered in His ear, “I want to go
deeper in You.” He said, “OK.” Instantly He took one hand,
Jesus took the other, and with the Holy Spirit whirling and
twirling and dancing, we all ran deeper into the Kingdom
of Light.
 CHAPTER 10

THE BEAUTIFUL GARDEN

After running for some distance we came to a garden that

was incredibly beautiful. The colors were intense and
indescribable, like nothing on this earth. There were plants
and trees in the garden that I had never seen before. I knew
you wouldn’t nd them in any botanical books here on
earth. A stream ran through this garden and behind the
plants and trees was a rocky wall, which I didn’t pay much
attention to at the time. Eventually, it became a very
signi cant wall—for no image is wasted in the Kingdom.
Everything you see, even if you feel like you are only
imagining it, has signi cance. That is why it is important
for you to know that you can go back to a scene during
prayer, revisit it, and ask God to show you more about
what you are seeing. I always take time to explore the
garden and God always delights in revealing more of the
hidden things in His Kingdom and the things within my
heart.
The Holy Spirit came and sat with us in this beautiful
place. Before, He had been energy personi ed, going here
and there, dancing and twirling. Now He sat with us in the
garden. His joy in what was going on was very evident in
His demeanor.
From that point on, whenever I started to pray, I found
myself in the garden. Again I wondered if I was just
making this all up. So I decided to go back to the gray
throne room and the maize Kingdom of Light. I discovered
that although I could get to those places, I couldn’t nd
God there. After that experiment, I went back to the garden
and talked to the Father about all that I was seeing and
experiencing. It is a place where I go often to meet with
Jesus.
God’s First Language
When God talks to me we rarely use words. Our Senior
Associate Pastor at Bethel Church, Kris Vallotton, told the
congregation in one of his messages that God’s rst
language isn’t English or French or German or any other
earthly language. When he said that, I thought, Well, of
course! But Kris didn’t say what God’s language was, and it
so intrigued me that I started pondering it. I’ve come to the
conclusion that God’s language is simply communication.
He will use whatever He wants to use so that you will
understand what He is saying. Whenever God and I have
talks, it is Spirit-to-spirit. No English words are exchanged,
but I know everything He is saying to me. It’s not that I can
always hear what He is saying. Sometimes I allow too
much of my circumstances to get in the way. And it’s not
that He is always answering everything I ask. Sometimes
He doesn’t answer right away. But He is always
communicating to me how much He loves me and that He’s
there for me. All I have to do is listen with my spiritual
ears.
I can remember when I rst learned that He is always
talking (after all, He is called the Word). As I talked with
God in the garden, He communicated that I was not to go
backward. I was to have more adventures and learn many
new things by going forward. I wouldn’t go on until I
learned what I needed to learn, and if He led me back, it
would be to continue whatever I needed to learn in that
place. So I stayed in the colorful garden.
The Stream
One day while in the garden, I went over to the stream
and dipped my hand in the water. I knew it was liquid
because I could feel the silky wetness on my ngers, but it
looked solid and unyielding as though it was made of glass.
I was immediately reminded of Revelation 22:1:

The n he showe d me a rive r of the wate r of life , cle ar as

crystal, coming from the throne of God and of the Lamb.

This stream wasn’t just clear as crystal; it actually looked

like liquid glass.
I went over to the stream, jumped in, and submerged
myself. As the water surrounded me I could feel its weight
and vitality. After I jumped in the water it felt much larger
than a stream. The water started owing faster and faster
and I felt like I was going to be swept away in the current.
There was nothing for me to grab ahold of that would keep
me from being carried away. The water rushed over me
like the white water of a fast river. When I nally got out
of the river, my clothing was white, white, white—bright
white! It reminded me of another verse in Revelation 3:5:

He who ove rcome s will thus be clothe d in white garme nts;

and I will not e rase his name from the book of life , and I will
confe ss his name be fore My Fathe r and be fore His ange ls.
One
Day after day while meeting in the garden, I would nd
myself sitting on my Father’s lap. Sometimes when I sat
with the Father, I would look over and see Jesus. Other
times I would be with Jesus and look over to see the
Father. I asked Jesus once if He was sad when I was with
the Father and if the Father was sad when I was with Him.
Now you might not think that was a mature question, but I
was ever the little girl when I was with Him. He smiled
when I asked Him this and said, “Turn around and look at
the Father.” I turned and there I saw myself sitting on His
lap! How could I be with Jesus and at the very same time
be sitting with my Father? In John 10:30, Jesus says, “I and
the Father are one.” That is one of the mysteries that Paul
wrote about so often in Ephesians. I no longer felt as
though I was favoring one over the other, because They are
One.
 CHAPTER 11

RELEASED FROM STRONGHOLDS

If you recall, I mentioned earlier that when I rst entered

the beautiful garden I saw a wall behind the plants and
trees. Looking at the wall, I kept thinking that if I wanted
to go deeper in God I was going to have to scale that wall.
So I kept looking at the wall, pacing along the length,
sizing it up, trying to figure out how I could climb it.
As I considered the wall, the Holy Spirit started to talk to
me about strongholds in my life. A stronghold is a place
where a particular belief or set of beliefs is strongly
defended or upheld. I sure didn’t want strongholds of
wrong beliefs in my life if they were keeping me from
being closer to God, but I wasn’t really sure how to get rid
of them. I didn’t even know what particular strongholds
were in my life. About the same time I was pondering the
wall puzzle, I was reading a book by Francis Frangipane
called The Three Battlegrounds. Guess what a certain
section of it addressed? That’s right—strongholds! This
helped con rm that God was dealing with this particular
area in my life.
Before I nally faced the wall, I looked back at the way I
had come and I saw the stream I had jumped over to reach
the wall. Not only had I jumped over it, I had turned
around and jumped back over it again and splashed my
way back to the other side of the stream, getting deliriously
soaking wet. I wanted to get in that stream as much and as
often as possible. Why jump over it when I could slosh it
all over me and carry it with me longer? So there I stood,
dripping wet, facing my “stronghold” wall. And the Holy
Spirit was there with me.
He showed me “hooks” in the wall and told me that these
hooks were my strongholds and that I would have to tear
them down. He began to name them and as He did, I knew
that He was right about each one. I climbed up on an
outcropping of rock along the wall and started to kick at
one, but it was a rock-hard “handhold hook” and did not
budge. The Holy Spirit came over to me and gave me a
sword that was sharp and shiny. I knew this sword was the
Sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God (see Eph.
6:17). Wielding the sword the Holy Spirit had given me, I
initiated an all-out assault on those strongholds. Calling
them the names He gave me, I used the Word of God to cut
them o . For example, I declared, “God has not given me a
spirit of fear…” (see 2 Tim. 1:7) because one of my
strongholds was fear.
The hooks came o so much easier with the use of the
sword. I attacked them as I confessed them, and as I
confessed them, God forgave me and cleansed me from all
unrighteousness. When I was done I went over and drank
from the stream and started to wash myself. I began to
laugh, and suddenly what I had done seemed hilarious. I
rolled around on the side of the bank laughing, drinking,
and splashing the water on me. God the Father, Jesus, and
the Holy Spirit were laughing also. His glory was in the
stream. His glory was wonderful.
Tree of Life
I noticed that one particular tree in the garden was
bigger than all the other trees, and I knew that this tree
played a signi cant role in the garden. I asked my Father
about the tree and He said it was the Tree of Life. Oh, I
thought, the one in the Garden of Eden. Looking up into
the branches of the Tree of Life, I could see fruit on them. I
climbed up into the tree and the Holy Spirit came with me.
How fun! He sat on one branch and I sat on another. “Eat
the fruit,” He said. I didn’t know exactly what it all meant,
but I ate anyway. The fruit looked a lot like a marshmallow
and it felt like a g without the seeds. I could eat and eat
and not get full. If this was indeed the Tree of Life, then it
was also the tree of truth. How could you ever get full of
truth? Never, I say, never! So I continued to eat.
At di erent times throughout this vision of the tree, I
would get down out of the tree to meet with the Father,
Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. Each time They told me to eat
more of the fruit that grew there. In fact, I was told to eat
until all of the fruit was gone. One time I climbed up the
tree and the
Holy Spirit came with me to help me pick the fruit. I
leaned over and said, “Thank You,” and kissed His cheek. I
giggled and He started laughing. It was the most wonderful
sound and it made me so glad to be there and to know
Him. After I had picked the fruit, I went over to where
Jesus was sitting and sat down by Him to eat it. I leaned
my back against Him and He had His arm around me.
Sigh. I honestly cannot describe how wonderful it felt to be
there. Wonderful—full of wonder! Wonder means “amazed
admiration or awe, especially at something very beautiful
or new.”1 Wonder certainly describes what I was feeling at
that moment.
The next time I came to talk with the Father and Jesus, I
asked about the tree and what it meant, especially the
signi cance of me having to eat all of the fruit. They told
me, “Just eat it.” So I ate more, even though I didn’t
understand. When I had eaten all of the fruit and the tree
was empty, the tree instantly grew more fruit.
Double Door
A few days later, while back in the garden gathering
more fruit, I saw a double door. When I asked about the
door, I was told that it was the door to God’s city. When I
heard this, I immediately felt that I didn’t want to go to this
place. The fact that I felt this was really strange to me
because I had been so willing to go and do everything else.
If I truly believed this was of God, I should want to go,
shouldn’t I? I felt so much trepidation. Before I could enter
this door, I had to go to my Father.
As uneasiness about the door came over me, I began to
wonder once again if I was making this all up in my
imagination. I knew that each day I was growing to love
my Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit more and more. I
desired to spend more time with Them, worshiping Them
and tasting Their awesome love. My desire was to be
conformed to the image of Christ, to let Jesus’ light shine in
me, to do my Father’s will, and to follow the Holy Spirit.
So why did I have uneasiness and doubts about my visions?
Father called me over to Him and asked me what was
wrong. So I told Him that I doubted that all of this was
real. I sat there with my head in my hands, thinking. He
asked me again what was wrong. I told Him that I had a
great fear that He would do something bad to me, or that I
would go into deception, be crushed by it, and somehow
be humiliated. He told me that this thinking was a
stronghold of distrust and that I had to go to the wall and
chop it down like the rest of the strongholds the Holy
Spirit had shown me.
 I went over to the wall and picked up the Sword of the
Spirit. Very weakly and half-heartedly, I started to hack at
the hook of distrust. This hook was bigger than all the rest
of the strongholds I had dealt with so far, and my feeble
chopping attempts did nothing to it. Father called me and I
went back to Him. He beckoned me to sit on His lap and
He asked me why I felt this way. I told Him I just didn’t
think I could ever measure up. Somewhere along the line I
knew I would goof up really badly and He would be mad
and do something to punish me.
Then I felt His love owing through me like a sweet,
warm river. I felt Jesus’ love and I thought of His
incredible sacri ce for me. The Holy Spirit drew near and I
felt His loving compassion for my weakness during this
time. That fear which caused my distrust was such a lie!
God’s love is much greater than the lies. How dare I believe
such a lie, that my Father, my Jesus, my Holy Spirit would
ever even think of doing something bad to me? Well, I
thought, even if I am imagining all of this, so what? I love
God more. How could that be wrong?
By then I was angered by the lie and I went over to the
wall and took up my sword. I dealt it blow after blow and
nally annihilated it as though it was warm wax. Then I
went over to Jesus and kissed Him and told Him how
grateful I was for Him. How amazingly wonderful and
patient He was with me.
After this very emotional time, They told me to eat of the
fruit in the tree again. I was learning always to eat from the
Tree of Life. I had to eat all of the fruit from the tree
because it was the fruit of knowing the truth. Today when I
believe a lie, I think to myself, From what tree am I eating?
That usually settles it for me. Romans 12:2 talks about the
importance of renewing our mind. We need a renewed
mind to not only recognize truth but to actually live out of
that truth.
Strongholds Defeated
Now, these last few visions occurred over a three-day
period. On Friday I knocked the strongholds down, ate all
the fruit on Saturday, and started ghting the strongholds
again on Sunday. Then on Sunday night I found the biggest
stronghold of all—distrust! I spent all of Sunday morning
battling all the strongholds I had already knocked down.
Can you believe that? If I had knocked down all of the
strongholds, why had they returned? I just didn’t
understand the nature of spiritual warfare. So I asked the
Father about this. He told me that these strongholds were
no longer present, but that I always needed to be on my
guard, making sure that I did not give place for them to
return, as the enemy is always trying to regain lost
territory. The enemy was just trying to make me believe
that the strongholds were still there and that the Spirit
hadn’t really shown me anything. He wanted me to think
that what I had seen wasn’t real, that somehow I had made
it up in my own mind. I battled them with the Word, my
Sword. Jesus had set me free, and therefore I was free
indeed.
For three more days I battled—Sunday through Tuesday.
Tuesday night at a prayer service I found it di cult to
worship. I lay on my face talking to God about the double
doors, my battle, and what I was to do. At the end of the
worship time, God, my Father, Jesus, my love, and the
Holy Spirit, all came around me and said in unison, “I love
you.” When the entire congregation came together to pray
corporately, I was seized by laughter. I realize that people
have criticized the laughter, but it’s only because they have
never truly experienced it. I really don’t know how long I
laughed, but I was sore by the time it was over. Never
before had I laughed so hard. And by the time I was done
laughing, the battle was over. I don’t know how that works.
How can laughter be warfare? I don’t know, but one thing I
do know is that I was victorious! I was ready to go through
the double doors to God’s city. I wanted to go, and I was
waiting for what was to come next.
This victory through laughter con rmed a change that
had already been happening in my heart. I was beginning
to understand through these visions and experiences that
the Holy Spirit is fun. He is like a child, taking delight in
helping us and healing us physically and emotionally.
When He brooded over the earth to bring forth life (see
Gen. 1:1), He was having fun. He delights in every victory
we have and He is part of every victory we have! He is
excited by what God is doing and is going to do. He is free
to be Himself. He yearns to have us grow into Jesus’
image, and He wants to help us to be like Christ. He
delighted in Jesus’ life here on earth and rejoices that Jesus’
Bride will soon come home to Him. He is the most positive
in uence on us. The Holy Spirit cheers us on! He’s a joy.
He’s a giggle—He’s my giggle!
 Endnote
1. “wonder.” Microsoft Word Dictionary. 2008, version
12.2.4.
 CHAPTER 12

THE CITY OF GOD

Jesus came and asked me if I was ready to go into the

City of God now. Unhesitatingly, I said, “Yes.” But when I
approached the double doors, I was a bit tentative in
opening them. I felt as though I were getting ready to dive
off the high diving board. You know that feeling—you want
to make the dive, but you’re just a little frightened about
whether you will resurface in one piece. I nally took a
deep breath and pushed open the door.
The Wind of Holiness
Everything was bright, clear, and white. I felt God’s
holiness everywhere. It was tangible and it rushed over me
like a sudden wind. I felt my clothes pressed against my
little body from this wind of holiness. I caught my breath
and immediately dropped my head. I didn’t belong in there
—it was too holy. Jesus kept beckoning me in, saying,
“Come in, come in.”
I kept saying back to Him, “No, I can’t.”
He said, “Yes, you can.”
But I wouldn’t go. He came over and took my arm and
gently pulled me in. I kept my head down and I told Him
that I didn’t belong there.
It was as though Jesus didn’t even hear my protests. He
asked me if I wanted to go deeper with God. I just couldn’t
ask, but He told me to go to the Father and ask to go
deeper. As my head was down, I looked at His robe and I
was struck by its whiteness. He told me to look at what I
was wearing and I realized that my robe looked just like
His. I still felt so unworthy and knew that this wonderful
vision must end soon because He was just too holy for me
to approach.
Jesus again urged me to ask my Father about going
deeper with Him. I just shook my head, no. He then turned
me toward the throne (the one with the steps on the side)
and gently nudged me over to the bottom of the steps.
Father then called to me and told me to come and sit with
Him on His lap. I did so very slowly and with trembling. I
sat hunched over like a child, a child who had done
something wrong. He asked me what was wrong. I told
Him I wasn’t good enough to be there, and I felt so
embarrassed because I didn’t measure up.
Victory Over Unbelief
Father called Jesus over and He stood in front of me. He
then told Jesus to stretch out His hands toward me. As He
did, I saw the nail prints in His hands. Father told me if I
believed that I didn’t belong there with Him, then what I
was saying was that what His Son did on the cross was for
nothing. All His pain and all His su ering was for nothing.
Did I believe that Jesus had lived, su ered, and died for
nothing? I was instantly horri ed. Never! Never would I
nullify what Jesus had done for me. I realized that through
His death, Jesus brought me to the place of fellowship with
God. Jesus made me good enough.
I jumped down from my Father’s lap and ran outside the
double door, back to the wall. Then I picked up my sword
and hacked away at the stronghold of unbelief—my
unbelief about what Jesus’ life and death had done for me
and given me. I ran back into the city and boldly went up
onto my Father’s lap. This time I wrapped my arms around
Him. Then I jumped down and ran over to Jesus, who bent
down to me. Wrapping my arms around Him, I kissed Him
on the cheek and told Him I knew that He had completed
the work the Father had sent Him to do. I was worthy
because of what He had done, and how I loved Him for it.
A little later, while I was sitting with the Father, He
asked if I was ready for more understanding. He said there
were many things that I had to learn. I noticed that behind
the throne were pedestals with objects on each of them.
Each object represented a lesson that He wanted me to
learn. I thought He was going to show me around, but He
called for the Holy Spirit to come and take me to the rst
object. I felt like the Holy Spirit was so pleased and
delighted to be leading me. It was His pleasure to be with
me.
 CHAPTER 13

OBJECT LESSON OF REMEMBERING

Each of the pedestals in this place appeared to be made

of white marble with gold veining. When I laid my hand
upon a pedestal it felt elegantly smooth, but it was not cold
to the touch. Each pedestal in this strange gallery was
approximately the same in height and width.
The Holy Spirit led me to the rst pedestal and told me
to pick up an oval object that was on it. This object was
about 1 foot in diameter and weighed about 1 pound. As I
held this object, He told me, “Remember how you got here,
so you can bring others.”
I remembered that I had begun on the bridge at the edge
of the Kingdom of Light and I had run into the light. This
decision to go deeper into the Kingdom made me realize
that this was why the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit
were so happy, dancing around, when I arrived at the
throne in the maize-colored place. I had made the best
decision, choosing God and leaving behind the kingdom of
darkness. I forsook all at that point. But as I remembered
this, something was happening in my spirit because I
understood more of what my choice meant. I chose God!
And I chose Him not for His blessings but because of my
love for Him. I knew that with this choice would not only
come blessing but also hardship. But the knowledge that
there would be hardship really didn’t matter at all to me
because my desire to know Him more was so much
stronger and more focused.
These things that I was seeing were strange, and I had to
believe that God was leading me on this newest “going-
deeper” trek. Because of my belief that God was in this, I
knew that if I kept on with these journeys, I would learn a
lot—I already had. Fear, I knew, was not from God, yet I
had so much fear of being deceived. But I believed that my
God was able to keep me from deception when my heart
was for Him. Jude 1:24 states:

Now to Him who is able to ke e p you from stumbling, and to

make you stand in the pre se nce of His glory blame le ss with
gre at joy.
Remembering
Then I remembered that my visits to the maize place had
lasted for about two weeks before I had asked to go further.
Next had come the colorful garden. As I remembered the
garden, I surveyed it once more and the Holy Spirit asked
me, “What do you see?”
I saw the stream, the stronghold wall, the Tree of Life,
and the empty throne (God was in the city). I didn’t see
anything that struck me or quickened my spirit. I asked
Him, “What? What am I not seeing?”
Again He asked, “What do you see?”
As I walked over to the wall and looked again, I noticed
that I couldn’t even see where the stronghold hooks had
been. It was as though they had never been there. But I
knew they had been, for I had knocked them down. I
looked at the glassy stream, but it was just owing
smoothly. Suddenly I wondered where the water was
coming from, so I followed the stream. It was coming from
God’s throne in the city. Was this what I was to see? I
climbed once again up into the Tree of Life, but there was
nothing out of place or different.
“What is it, Holy Spirit? What am I to see?”
“You are to see what happened here,” was His reply.
The visions all passed through my memory like an
instant replay. I remembered how, with the Holy Spirit’s
help, I had chopped down the strongholds of fear, distrust,
and unbelief. There had been other strongholds I had
chopped down as well. I recalled how I had lain in the
river and been cleansed, delivered, and healed. I had been
so encouraged by my Father, and the Holy Spirit had
become so real to me. Everything I did in the garden had
helped me to realize my total dependency on God. I would
not have been able to identify, much less chop down, any
of the strongholds by myself. I would not have learned
truth without God’s patience and love. I truly became
dependent on the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. How
su cient I am in Them, for They are my comfort and
refuge.
This journey of seeing and understanding more as I
reviewed my experiences continued. I remembered how I
had nally become ready to go into the city. This had been
a hard step for me because of my overwhelming feelings of
unworthiness. My heart had hurt because I had felt and
believed that I was at the end of my wonderful journey. But
what did I learn? I knew without a shadow of doubt, that
my wonderful Jesus had paid the price for me. This price
that my Jesus paid did it all. Not one thing was left that He
had not purchased for me. I am under His wing, I am
chosen, and I am His! I have become His righteousness, His
worthiness, and His image before my Father. There is no
room for shame because there is no shame. I can come to
my Father boldly because I have become and I am
becoming just like Jesus.
Eating the Lesson
After remembering how I had come to this place as the
Holy Spirit had instructed me, I found myself with Him in
the city again. I was still holding the object and the Holy
Spirit told me to eat the object. As I began to eat it, I found
it was delicious—sweet and crunchy. After about three bites
it turned into a thick liquid, like honey. I was eating it as
fast as I could because I didn’t want any of it to spill on the
ground. I even licked my ngers and face after it was all
gone.
At this point I found that I was quite sticky. I asked the
Holy Spirit if this stickiness would go away or if I should
go wash it o . He told me to go wash o in the river that
was owing from God’s throne. So I went over and stood
by the river. As I looked up at my Father and Jesus, They
began to laugh because of the sticky residue all over my
face and hands. I thought I probably looked like a child
who had been in the cookie jar and had chocolate all over
her face. Well, They were delighted because I had lesson all
over my face. I had earnestly eaten all of the lesson, even
licking the bits o my hands and face, and this so pleased
the Father and Jesus that They broke out in laughter and
delight.
 CHAPTER 14

MORE OBJECT LESSONS

A very short time later I was sitting with my Father and

He asked me if I was ready for another “object lesson.” I
wondered perhaps if I was moving too fast. Always before
when I had learned something, the lesson had been
followed by an extended time of experiencing what I had
learned. God told me that because I had eaten the rst
object—consumed it—it would be with me. I understood
that time is short and He is doing something new in His
children. He is doing instant things. However, it is
important that we not misunderstand—we must realize that
we have to take responsibility for what He is showing us
and that some things may still take time.
Protection
With that, I was ready for the next lesson. The Holy
Spirit took me to another pedestal, which held an object
about the size of a golf ball. I picked it up and held it
expectantly. I stood there, staring at nothing and seeing
nothing happen. I asked the Holy Spirit what it was, and as
soon as I had spoken the words, the object started to
expand in my hand. It was a strange sensation, as though it
were alive. The object grew and covered me like a
transparent cocoon. When I again asked what this was, I
was told that it was protection. I wondered how I should
put it on. I was thinking I should put it on like armor. He
then promptly told me, “It is on,” and He instructed me to
never take it o . This object was to remind me that every
time I was hit by a ery dart from the enemy, any
accusation, any fear, or any lie, I was to go immediately,
immediately, immediately to the throne room and talk with
my God about it. I was never to take my protection o ,
never even to think that I could handle a dart on my own. I
always need to be dependent on my Father, Jesus, and the
Holy Spirit to tell me the truth.
Petals
The next pedestal held an object that was round and
smooth, about the size of a bowling ball. It felt exceedingly
good in my hands, almost like a long-forgotten favorite toy
from my childhood. The Holy Spirit told me to hold it
tight. So I held it as tight as I could and then Jesus came
and pushed it inside of my chest. It just slipped inside as
easily as swallowing warm melted chocolate. I looked
down and I could see it there inside me. Amazingly, it
started to bloom. It became a rose, unfolding its glory petal
by petal, just like you see in a time-lapse lm. After the
rose had bloomed, Jesus reached inside of me and took a
petal, laid it on the marble step, and crushed it under His
foot. I was a bit surprised when He did this, but I felt that
whatever He was doing was signi cant and He would let
me know the reason soon enough. I reached down and
gathered up all the little pieces of the crushed petal. As I
stood up, I noticed that I was now wearing a long white
coat with little pockets all over it. I put the crushed petal
in one of the pockets.
After I placed the petal pieces in my pocket, Jesus
reached in and took another petal, laid it on the step, and
crushed it. Again I bent down, scooped the pieces up and
put them in one of the many wonderful pockets of my coat.
Jesus continued to do this until all of the petals were gone
and all of my pockets were full. He told me that the petals
represented His love. The Scripture in Isaiah 53:5 came to
mind, “But He was pierced through for our transgressions,
He was crushed for our iniquities….” Then I remembered
that when you take a ower and crush the petals, the
fragrance is released more fully. How often while walking
along have I plucked a leaf from a bush and rubbed it
between my ngers, releasing the aroma and smelling it on
my ngers until I washed my hands. You see, God has
always loved us—always! But when Jesus was crushed and
died for our sins, His love was released even more.
Jesus then told me what would happen when I wore this
coat in public. He said that as I walked along, someone
would pass me, then stop, turn around, come back to me,
and say, “Excuse me, but that is a wonderful fragrance you
have on. Would you mind telling me the name of it and
where I might purchase some for myself?” Jesus said that I
could tell the person, “Oh, it is a wonderful fragrance. It’s
the fragrance of God’s love. And I can tell you where you
can get some, but you don’t have to pay any money for it.
You see, the price has already been paid.”
I looked down at the place where Jesus had taken the
petals from the rose inside of me. I thought that I might
have an empty hole or maybe just a bare stem where the
rose had been, but there at the heart of all of the petals of
love was a pearl. The pearl was gorgeously smooth and
milky in color. I knew that this pearl was the pearl of great
price.
The coat of the fragrance of God’s love didn’t have
buttons, ties, or a zipper. Jesus showed me that in my
everyday busy life I might let the coat slip o . He said I
must be careful always to keep my coat on so people could
be exposed to the attractive fragrance of love. I took His
instruction to heart, but I also wondered what would
happen if I did let it slip o for some reason. Jesus is so
absolutely wonderful to me. He then showed me that when
my coat slipped o , the Holy Spirit would come along,
pick it up, and follow me around, calling my name until I
stopped and let Him help me put it on again. Isn’t He
wonderful?
The Marble Bench
During a Friday night worship service at Bethel, the
Holy Spirit came to me and asked me to follow Him. He
took me back to the place of the pedestals and there in the
midst of all of them was a lovely marble bench. I sat down
in the very middle of the bench with my hands resting on
both sides. As I sat there, I waited and listened expectantly,
for I thought He was going to speak to me and teach me
something. I closed my eyes and waited.
Jesus came over to the bench and said, “Make room for
Me.” My eyes popped open. I instantly scooted over and
He sat down with me. I bent my head in concentration; I
didn’t want to miss what He was going to say to me. But
He was so quiet that I nally turned and looked up at Him
and asked Him what the lesson was. Jesus said, “Make
room for Me. When you clean your room, make room for
Me. When you wash the dishes, make room for Me. When
you drive your car, make room for Me. When you calculate
the payroll (my job at the time), make room for Me.” Jesus
looked directly into my eyes and said, “Judy, make room
for Me in everything you do.”
The Golden Egg
Throughout these past few months I had been praying
that I would come to know the heart of God. Somehow I
knew that God would use the next object to answer my
request because this was my heart’s desire. Of course, I
didn’t know then what the object would be, but I have since
realized that what I was feeling was true.
The next object I saw on the pedestal was the size of an
egg. Oh what an egg! It was both crystal and golden—
crystal gold—and it had so many facets. I simply held it for
several days because nothing else was said to me regarding
its purpose or what lesson I was supposed to learn. I finally
asked the Father about the signi cance of this incredibly
beautiful egg. He said it represented all the di erent facets
of Him, and He was going to teach me about all of these
facets. I continued to hold on to it for some time caressing
it in my hands.
One evening Jesus came and asked me if I would like to
see a facet of the crystal gold egg. “Oh yes!” was my
excited response. He took my hand and we started walking
down a staircase. The staircase passed through the sky and
when we reached the bottom step, we sat down and looked
over the city of Redding. In this vision the tops of the
houses were gone and I could actually see into the homes.
In some of the homes people were yelling at each other,
while in others people were taking drugs. It seemed as
though these homes held such despair, anger, hatred, and
every guise of evil.
As I watched the people, Jesus sat beside me, but He
remained silent. I looked at Him and there were tears
running down His face. He spoke to the universe, “I love
them. I love them! Who will tell them about Me? Who will
tell them?” I told Him that I couldn’t do it because I trip
over my words and most of the things I do say come out
wrong. Jesus knew I had always identi ed with Moses
being slow of speech. But He said, “If you just open your
mouth, the Holy Spirit will speak through you to tell them
of Me.” He turned His head and continued watching the
people in their homes with no roofs. Tears were now
dripping in great drops from His chin. I started to cry. I
reached up and wiped away His tears and told Him that I
would open my mouth. I would let the Holy Spirit speak
through me so they could hear about Him.
I meditated for a moment on what had just taken place. I
saw Jesus’ intense love for the lost, His tears of pain for
them and His command to go and tell them that He loves
them. And right then Jesus asked me if I wanted to see
another facet of the golden crystal egg.
The Warrior
Suddenly, Jesus transported me to another place. No
longer were we in the sky, but my feet were on the ground
once again in God’s city. Standing beside Jesus was a
magni cent white horse in full battle garb. Jesus mounted
the horse. Behind Him was a multitude of warrior angels
all decked out in armor. They started marching in place.
The sound was thunderous, shaking the ground where I
stood. Jesus looked down at me and pointed to the Father. I
ran over to my Father and climbed onto His lap. I stood on
His legs with my back against His chest while His arms
held me steadily against Him. I watched with excitement as
my most wonderful Bridegroom turned to His troops and
motioned them onward. The ground rolled back and below
I saw what appeared to be a beehive surrounded by
swarming bees. Jesus gave the command and the warriors
started to march with Jesus in front. As they began
marching, the bees increased their activity, and when Jesus
and the troops drew closer, the bees began to part and
expose their hive.
Then I saw that it wasn’t a beehive at all; it was the earth.
And what looked like bees were actually demonic beings
holding the earth captive. They began eeing from the
coming King and His army of angel warriors.
I noticed a particularly large group of demonic beings in
a tight group. When Jesus rode up to them, they parted to
expose the father of lies—satan himself. Jesus rode near,
leaned over the side of His horse, and grabbed satan by the
scru of the neck with His right hand. He then lifted satan
up and over the horse’s neck and threw him down into a
pit, which was on His right side. The lid of the pit was like
a manhole cover, and it was promptly slammed shut. Then
a great lock was put in place to keep the lid closed. Jesus
started to march again, and as He neared the earth, the
people there who had been watching the battle above them
let out an enormous shout of praise.
I was deliriously excited. I turned to the Father and
asked, “May I go down there?” He released me from His
arms and instantly I was among the throngs of people on
earth. There were people from every nation and yet we
were all speaking the same language. We were rejoicing,
shouting, “Hosanna, hosanna, the King has come, the King
has come; holy and mighty is our King Jesus.” Jesus was
marching down the street and I was so proud. There was
my King, my Betrothed, and my Love. When He came by
me, He stopped and smiled. Oh how wonderful He is!
The Fragrance of His Love
After this I found myself again standing with Jesus
holding the crystal gold egg in one hand and covering it
with the other, cupping it in a protective way. I didn’t
know what to do with this object. I certainly didn’t want to
put it down. My pockets were too lled with the fragrance
of Jesus’ love. So I asked Jesus what I should do with this
lesson. He told me to wear it around my neck. I lifted my
hand to look at the egg and saw a ne golden chain
attached to it. I lovingly put it over my head and took
notice that the chain was long enough so that the egg was
positioned right over my heart. Was this not the answer to
my prayer to know the heart of God? Now the nature of
God and the fragrance of His pure love lay forever near my
heart.
 CHAPTER 15

SECRET LOVE

I had my arms around my Father’s neck and my lips next

to His ear telling Him how much I loved Him. This is my
favorite position because when my mouth is next to His
ear, our faces are touching and the intimacy of the moment
is almost overpowering to me. He told me to sit down, so I
sat on His lap. Jesus came close, and resting my head on
my Father’s chest and taking Jesus’ hand in mine, I closed
my eyes. The world in all its grandeur could not come
close to equaling the glory of His love and peace that was
in my heart at that moment.
I opened my eyes and I saw Jesus staring intently at me.
I caught my breath—I had seen that expression before. I
had worn that expression before, and I knew exactly the
kind of love it took to make that expression happen on a
face. When my children were born, I would hold them in
my arms and stare at them, and so tenderly I would touch
their little faces. How wonderful they were; how I
marveled at the lives God had allowed me to create. As
they grew, that feeling never changed. Even now, though
they are in their adult years, they will catch me staring at
them. I do that because they are still so full of wonder to
me. I still marvel at the miracle that brought them to me.
That was the expression that Jesus had on His face. He was
marveling at His creation; He was marveling at me. Even
though we have made wrong decisions and hurt Him, He
marvels at the wonder of His creation.
My oldest son, Jon, was not known for being very
demonstrative. I knew he felt things deeply, but he didn’t
let his feelings show externally. If I told him I loved him,
his reply would be “Yeah.” One Mother’s Day when he was
in high school he came to me and told me he didn’t have
any money to purchase a gift, but he wanted to give me
something. Then he wrapped his arms around me, kissed
me on the cheek, and told me he loved me very much.
Well, there is no material gift that could have meant more
to me. No gift he could purchase could surpass what he had
just done. We love to hear such words from the ones we
love. How much more does our Father want to hear those
words from us?
As I was thinking about that kind of love, I remembered
how my children, when they were very young, ran to me
for comfort when they had hurt themselves. I hugged and
kissed them and softly spoke the “there-there” words,
assuring them they were going to be OK. Soon they
skipped away to play once more, with no thought for the
pain that just minutes before had been so consuming. If I
am totally honest, in a tiny corner of my heart I had just a
little bit of joy when they were hurt. How could I have joy
in their pain? It’s not because I wanted them to hurt, but
because they ran to me and I got to hold them and kiss
away the pain and be their source of comfort.
This is how it worked for me. I don’t know exactly how
it works in the heart of a perfect God. But I know He has
joy when we come running to Him when we hurt. I wonder
if our comforter, our wonderful Holy Spirit, smiles just a
tad because He hopes we will allow Him to wrap His arms
around us and kiss our hurts. I said to Him, “My Lord, is
this yet another facet? As a parent longs for her children to
come to her so she can love them and comfort them, do
You also long earnestly for us to come to You at all times
for the bene ts of Your tender love? Lord, I don’t ever want
to become self-su cient and independent from Your
dealings in my life. I want to live my life in Your arms and
never move away from the loving ’there-there’ words of
comfort, the healing tender touches and the truth that is in
Your presence.” He always seems to be pleased when I
catch on to what He’s revealing to me.
Emotional Healing
One night while I was at a Randy Clark meeting, I went
forward when a call went out for those who wanted a
healing anointing. There was a press of people and I could
feel the presence of God so strongly that I knew I wouldn’t
be able to stand much longer. I found a place to quietly lie
down, and Jesus came to me and asked me if I wanted to
see something. Oh yes!
Jesus took me to a place where a large portal opened in
front of me. Behind the portal I could see a beautiful
garden. Starting at the left side of the portal, my eyes
moved right as I took in the sight of this beautiful garden,
and there on the right I saw my earthly dad standing in the
garden. I was so stunned I gasped, “You’re here!” My dad
said, “Yes, I just made it.” If anyone had told me he would
be in Heaven I would not have believed it possible. He had
had an aortic aneurysm, and because he did not want to
live anymore, he had done nothing about it. His neighbor
had mentioned that about three days before he died, my
dad felt his aneurysm was about to burst. During that time
he must have asked Jesus to be his Savior.
My mind was reeling. Although I tried to move over
toward him, it was as though my feet were glued to the
ground. And he was not able to come to where I was
standing. Then he said, “I’m so sorry.” I knew he was sorry
for all of the hurt he had caused in my life. I didn’t know
what to do, as I could hardly take it in. I started to turn
around but he called my name and said, “I want you to
know I think you’re beautiful. I love you and I am so proud
of you.” Wow. Just like that, he had said what every little
girl longs for her daddy to say. Then the portal closed. My
mind was reeling. What had just happened?
I looked to my right where Jesus was standing and there
beside Him was my grandmother. This was the
grandmother who had told me I could never do anything
right. She came over to me, laid her right hand on my face,
and said, “I’m sorry.”
Oh the healing that took place in those moments! I felt
tremendous relief and joy that my earthly father will be
waiting for me. Of course, Jesus did not have to show me
this now. I could have discovered it all later, when I went
to Heaven permanently after leaving this earth. But in my
Father’s loving-kindness, He chose to heal a huge part of
me “early.”
 CHAPTER 16

THE CROSS OF LOVE AND OBEDIENCE

Jesus came to me one day and asked me if I wanted to

see another facet. He took my hand and we began to travel
extremely fast. Everything passed by me in a blur, and I
knew we were moving very fast because my clothes were
pressed against me as though I were standing in front of a
high velocity fan. My hair was ying straight out behind
me and I could feel the skin on my face being pulled back
by the force. I asked Jesus where we were going and He
said we were going back in time.
Once we stopped, I saw Jesus as He was about to be
whipped before His cruci xion. I turned to Him and hid
my face in His waist. I told Him I could not, would not,
watch this. He put His arms around me and said, “You
must. You must. For if it weren’t for this, you would not be
in My arms right now. If it weren’t for this, you wouldn’t
have fellowship with our Father, and if it weren’t for this
you wouldn’t have the Spirit of the living God dwelling
within you. You must. You must see it.” So I turned my
head and watched but stayed right there in His arms.
The rst lash hit its mark. As the blood began to ow I
cringed. I saw the Father start to rise from His throne and I
heard the heart of Jesus saying, “No, Father, no. They don’t
know what they are doing. Forgive them.” The second lash
came and again the Father started to rise. “No, Father,
forgive them.” The third, fourth, and fth lashes came, and
again He cried out for the Father to forgive. The 10th,
15th, 20th, 30th, and 39th lashes came, and after each one
the cry of our Savior was, “Forgive them, Father, forgive
them. They don’t know what they are doing.” I was nearly
convulsed with tears in my vision, and I was physically
aware of tears running down my cheeks.
Then I watched Him carry the cross. He stumbled, and
the Simon the Cyrene came up to carry it for Him. Do you
know what His heart cried out? He cried out, “Thank You,
Father. Thank you for sending Me help.” He was thankful
and did not hesitate to say so to His Father. Through the
pain and su ering, He thanked His Father for this
seemingly small gesture of help as He continued on His
course to Golgotha. He continued asking for the Father to
forgive us until the end. Then He cried it aloud from the
cross, “Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they
do.”
After this we made our way back through time to the
throne room. As I stood crying in front of Him, He said,
“There is forgiveness for both the saved and the unsaved,
but it only comes through Me and you must receive it. It’s
there for you always. The Almighty God is a God of
forgiveness. There will be people who go to eternal
separation from Us because they did not come to the
Father’s forgiveness. There are people who, when they
come to eternal fellowship with Us, will wonder why they
didn’t receive the forgiveness that came through Me and
live in that forgiveness.”
I came to realize that the forgiveness we receive through
Jesus is complete. There are no cracks or holes in it; no
strings attached. It is there for the asking. People need to
know this. We believers have to tell them.
The Crystal Cube
The Holy Spirit took me to another pedestal, upon
which sat an object like a glass or crystal cube, about the
size of a Rubik’s Cube. The Spirit said that this cube
represented obedience. He told me to hold it tight, so I
squeezed and held onto the cube tightly. Because the cube
had corners it wasn’t as comfortable to hold as a round
object, but I could do it. Then He told me to hold it cock-
eyed. When I turned it as He directed, the corners were
pressed directly into my palms. He told me to hold it
tightly. So I squeezed it as hard as I could, holding tightly,
but this time it hurt. The points were digging into my
palms. It hurt so much that I threw it to the ground and it
shattered.
I quickly looked at the Holy Spirit—I couldn’t believe
that I had broken the cube. I was wide-eyed as I looked at
Him to see if He was angry. He wasn’t. He smiled at me
and said, “There is a right way to handle obedience and a
wrong way. When held tightly and done correctly,
obedience can be uncomfortable, but you can do it. If you
are obedient but have anger or resentment at having to do
something that is asked of you, you will start to complain
and murmur about the tasks. There will be no peace or joy
in following My instructions, and because of that, the pain
of obedience will be so great that you will throw it from
you. Remember, Jesus endured the cross for the joy set
before Him. Always look past the obedience to the joy.
Never will anything be asked of you that great joy will not
come from it. Hold obedience correctly.”
He then bent down and picked up a small sliver of the
broken cube. He took my hand and embedded the sliver
into the palm of my hand. It hurt and I started to withdraw
my hand, but I decided that I would endure the pain for the
joy of remembering how He cares enough to be my
Teacher. He then handed me another cube and told me to
place it on my forehead and push. When I pushed the cube
against my forehead, the cube went into my head.
The sliver is to remind me of what happens when I
handle obedience incorrectly, and the cube is to remind me
to be obedient for the joy set before me.
 CHAPTER 17

EVEN MORE OBJECT LESSONS

Light of the World

Another day the Holy Spirit took me to a pedestal that
had an object on it about the size of a small bead. I
gingerly picked it up between my thumb and fore nger
and asked Him what it was. Before the Holy Spirit could
answer me, a great light burst forth from the bead. It was
so bright that I could not see. I covered it quickly with my
other hand to protect my eyes and again asked Holy Spirit
what it was. He told me it represented the Light of the
World—Jesus. I was told to put it in my eye.
When I did so, I immediately found myself standing on
the shore of a harbor. I was a lighthouse. Out of my eye
shined the Light of the World. Ships were coming into this
safe harbor, but there were many obstructions in the way:
barrier reefs, rocks, sand bars, otsam, and every sort of
danger that could cause harm or destruction. I knew my job
was to watch the ships as they came into the harbor,
lighting up the obstructions, helping them to nd safe
passage. The ships were coming into this safe harbor at
different speeds.
 I knew the lesson almost instantly. We believers are the
lighthouses—we have the light. It is important that we
show people the way and warn them of the impediments
and obstructions that can sink them before reaching safety.
We aren’t foghorns blowing that dreadful sound; we are
lighthouses lighting the way, exposing the snares, and
allowing people to see the way. We must not allow our
light to dim and we must always have enough fuel on hand
to keep the light burning brightly. We must never allow
ourselves to think that we have plenty of fuel and need no
more, or that we can wait to get more fuel after a particular
storm has passed. We cannot allow ourselves ever to burn
out!
Faith
I walked over to the next pedestal, but it was empty. I
leaned over and looked closer, but I could see absolutely
nothing on that pedestal. Almost in frustration I said to the
Holy Spirit, “There’s nothing here.” He responded by
saying that yes, there was and that I just needed to look
more closely. After staring intently, without blinking my
eyes, I still saw nothing. He smiled and said it was faith
there on the pedestal and that I should scoop it up with my
hands. He then told me to put it on my feet like a pair of
slippers. Ah yes, faith—the essence of things unseen.
It was curious to me that He told me to put faith on like
slippers. Why not shoes or boots or sneakers? “Slippers are
comfortable,” He explained. “They are what you put on
after a long day; they are warm and comforting.” I came to
understand that I should be so comfortable with my faith
that I could walk into any situation knowing that the Holy
Spirit would instruct and direct me. This did not mean that
I could take faith for granted. It just meant that I needed to
be comfortable with the measure of faith God had given me
while increasing my faith every day.
The Bar
After the measure of faith, I was led to another pedestal.
Lying on it was a bar. When I picked it up I immediately
saw a runner running a race with a baton in his hand. The
Holy Spirit con rmed that the bar signi ed running a race.
Endurance in a race will get you to the end of the course. I
broke the baton into two pieces and placed them along my
shins. The pieces will remind me to run the race, enduring
until the end.
Later at home I sat at my desk and I looked up the word
endure in the thesaurus. Some of its synonyms are: abide,
continue, persist, remain, and outlast. I looked at my ankles
and in the spirit could see the broken baton pieces. I knew
that I could persist and outlast.
The Staff
One day I was with my Father, just loving Him and
enjoying His love, when He set me down in front of Him,
took a crown, and put it on my head. Then He handed me
a staff. The definition of staff is “used as support in walking
or climbing, or as a weapon; a rod carried as a symbol of
authority.”1 I felt that all three of these dimensions were
signi ed in the sta my Father had given me. I carry with
me a symbol of authority as a member of the Royal Family.
I have the support of my Family as I travel through my
adventures with Them. And I have the ultimate weapon
against the evil one—the King Himself.
 Endnote
1. “sta .” Microsoft Word Dictionary. 2008, Mac version
12.2.6.
 CHAPTER 18

INTIMATELY HIS

We were standing in the place that held the objects and

the pedestals and I had my arms around the Father’s neck.
He took me by the shoulders and moved me back so there
was a foot or so of space between us. His glory radiated
from Him in splendid streams that were so beautiful to see.
He put His hand to His chest and “pinched” out a little bit
of His glory—sort of like a “starter” (like yeast for making
bread)—and reached over and put it in me. I started to
laugh, a joy- lled laugh. I had some glory. I had some
glory! Oh glory, I had some glory! I ran over to Jesus and
showed Him that I had some of His glory in me. He was so
happy. When we’re happy with what He has given us and
done for us, the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are
happy too.
The Holy Spirit came over and asked me for a dance.
Always before when I had danced with Him, my feet had
stayed on the ground while He soared around, seemingly
unhampered by the gravity that held me to the oor. This
time He took me in His arms and we both soared up and
away in a marvelous dance. I was laughing and He was
smiling at me. Then He leaned over to me and said, “I love
you.”
I replied, “I also love Him.”
He then said, “I love the Father,”
“Oh yes,” I said, “I do too.”
Then He said, “I love Jesus.”
“I do too.”
He leaned over again and said that we were practicing
for the day when the Bride and the Bridegroom would
dance at Their wedding. He was teaching me how to be
sensitive to His leading, how at His slightest move or
suggestion I would be able to follow Him. I love dancing
with the Spirit. I simply cannot wait until my wedding day
when I will dance with my Jesus. Apparently, the Lord
cannot wait for the wedding day either. For He gave me a
glimpse of what is to come. And I want to share it with
you.
The Wedding
I stood at the door of a cathedral, impressive in size and
splendid in appearance. I looked in the doorway and I saw
my Father standing way down at the front of the aisle. To
His side stood Jesus with His head bowed. The rows upon
rows of seats were transparent like purest glass, and they
were full of the heavenly hosts, dressed in gossamer robes.
These heavenly hosts were extremely excited, lling the
atmosphere with an incredible anticipation that was
actually tangible to my senses.
As I stood in the doorway, trumpets sounded, brilliant in
tone and volume, heralding this majestic moment. Then the
Holy Spirit pushed the doors open and o ered His arm to
the Bride. As soon as I stepped through the doorway, it was
not just me but the entire Bride of Christ walking down the
aisle. My Father smiled, the heavenly hosts stopped their
excited whispering and turned to watch, and then Jesus’
head came up. Oh, if you could have seen His response to
the sight of His beautiful Bride! His smile was radiant,
expressing His great joy for that long-awaited day.
Jesus started toward His Bride, but the smiling Father
reached over and touched His arm, holding Him back.
Jesus had already come for the Bride. Now it was the
Bride’s turn to come to Jesus. He stood there, still and
poised, as the Holy Spirit walked the Bride down that
seemingly long aisle. Jesus never took His eyes o His
Bride. When the Spirit and the Bride neared the altar of
God, they stopped. The Father reached out and took the
hand of the Bride and placed it in the hand of His Son. He
then said, “Jesus, I present Your Bride without spot or
wrinkle.”
All of Heaven rejoiced. Multitudes of angelic beings
started to worship and the Bride joined them in adoration
of her wonderful Bridegroom—her Beloved.
Thoughts
After this last vision of the wedding to come, I began to
think that this was the end of the visions—and what an end!
In a way, I was hoping that it was the end. These visions
were wonderful. The time I spent with my God, my Jesus,
and my Holy Spirit was incredibly sweet—like a vision
within a vision. I don’t consider my time just talking with
Them to be in the same dimension as my visions, but I
guess it really is. Or is it? It is so real—I feel Jesus’ arms
around me. I hear my Father whisper in my ear, and I feel
my Holy Spirit as He dances around me. But it isn’t
happening in the natural dimension, even though it truly
feels as though it is real. Sometimes the fabric that divides
the natural realm from the spirit realm is so sheer and
permeable that you can reach through it with your hand or
accidentally bump into this realm unexpectedly.
 CHAPTER 19

HEARTS

Earlier I neglected to tell you about the window I saw

when I was among the pedestals and their objects. I noticed
the window at the back of the room and was given
permission to go look out and see what was there. The
window was made of opaque glass, so I had to push it open
in order to see what was outside. Through the open
window I saw an astonishingly beautiful park. The stream
that came from God’s throne also ran through the garden,
somehow turning back as it owed through this park
outside the window. However, the stream was wider and
much deeper here than it was in the garden—it was a river.
In fact, this park greatly resembled the garden, only it was
quite a bit larger—it seemed to go on as far as my eyes
could see. From my viewpoint in the window I was much
higher than the park. As I looked out, I saw someone
standing by a grove of trees, but I couldn’t see who it was.
I was thinking about all of this when Jesus came and
asked me if I wanted to see another facet of the crystal gold
egg. After I tell you about it, I’ll come back and tell you the
rest of what happened in the park.
Where’s My Heart?
Once again I was standing in front of Jesus as a little girl.
He took His heart and gave it to me. We walked for a
while, and I was very careful as I held this precious heart.
Then I found myself standing in a kitchen and Jesus was no
longer there. I heard children playing outside, but I
couldn’t go out to play because I was holding Jesus’ heart. I
wanted to go outside and play so much that I carefully put
His heart on the table and ran out to play. After a short
while I found Jesus standing next to me. I looked up and
He leaned over and kindly asked, “Where is My heart?” I
thought, Uh-oh. I ran into the house and picked up His
heart and thought, I’ll never put His heart down again.
Then I saw some cookies on a shelf. I walked over to the
shelf and reached up with one hand to get the cookies,
holding His heart in my other hand because I didn’t want to
set His heart down again. Unfortunately, I couldn’t quite
reach the cookies with one hand, so I tucked His heart
under my chin and lowered my head to hold it, freeing my
hands to get the cookies. The heart slipped out and fell to
the oor. Jesus was there in that instant and He bent over,
picked up His heart, took it over to the sink, and washed it
o . Again He gave His heart back to me. I thought to
myself, I’ll never put His heart under my chin again. Hearts
seem to be slippery.
Then I decided to go for a walk. As I walked, His heart
jiggled in my hands and it was kind of fun. So I started
stomping as I walked to make it jiggle more. Then I started
tossing Jesus’ heart in the air gently, eventually juggling
the heart from one hand to the other. Unfortunately, I
missed a toss and His heart landed on the ground. At that
point the vision ended, but I understood completely what
Jesus was teaching me.
How often do we set His heart aside to “do our own
thing”? When we go our own way we often leave Jesus’
heart behind. And when we want eshly grati cation we
tend to become careless with His heart. In our daily lives
we often neglect to give His heart the respect and honor it
deserves. I also realized that when I put His heart aside,
became careless with it, or didn’t give it the honor I should
have, Jesus was never mad. I knew He was sad, but never
mad, and He always gave His heart back to me. Ahhh, I
love this facet of God. He works with us over and over and
over again to teach us how to hold His heart correctly and
then how to love Him above our sel sh desires and
carelessness. Then He even gives a wonderful forgiveness
for the times when we don’t get it right. So now I try to
always walk with His heart next to mine. I want to feel His
heart beat for me and for all the other people.
The Window
Remember the window I told you about earlier that
looked out over the park? The Holy Spirit came to me at
the window and asked me if I would like to go to the park,
which of course I did. Near the pedestals was a path and He
led me down the path to the park. However, partway down
the hill the path became very rocky. The rocks were big
and it looked as though it would be easy to step from one
rock to another, but I was not steady on my feet and was
afraid of falling. The Holy Spirit told me to put my foot
wherever He said and to hold onto His hand. He helped me
like this—hand in hand—all the way down the hill. He is
my Guide and my Comforter.
When we reached the bottom, we started to walk over to
the trees where I had seen someone standing, and I realized
that Jesus and my Father were both there. I ran to Them
with outstretched arms giving Them both a hug. As soon as
the Holy Spirit caught up with us, Jesus showed me a
round table with chairs and told me to sit down. We all sat
down—Jesus, the Father, the Holy Spirit, and me. Jesus
looked at me and said, “I want you to put your heart on the
table.” I really didn’t like the way that sounded, but I knew
I didn’t have anything to fear. So I put my heart there on
the table before Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I got up and
walked away, leaving my heart on the table. Somehow I
just knew I needed to leave Them and not go back until
They called for me. I waited nearby, but out of hearing
range. The next day They were still talking! I wanted
desperately to know what They were saying, but I knew I
had to wait.
 Isn’t the mind a wonderful and terrible thing? The
thought came to me that They were probably discussing
how black my heart was and that They wouldn’t be able to
use it. I didn’t really believe this lie, because even if my
heart was too black, even if it was a lump of coal, I knew
They would make it healthy or give me a new one. I love
Them so much. Then I became anxious, in a good way, to
know what was coming next.
I have discovered that when the Father, Son, and Holy
Spirit are taking me through a process in a vision that
extends over a few days, I can still meet with Them in
another place to talk. In the middle of this vision where
They were working on my heart, I met with the Holy Spirit
and asked Him to teach me more quickly. I wanted
everything to go faster. He laughed and said that He was
waltzing while I wanted to do the jitterbug. If I wanted to
dance with the Holy Spirit, I needed to know how He was
dancing and fall into step with Him. Otherwise I would be
doing my own thing, in my own strength, and without the
grace that comes from following His lead.
Eventually Jesus nodded to me and I walked back to the
table. I watched as Jesus picked up my heart. He took a
little patch of His heart, put it on my heart, and sewed it in
place. Then He handed it to the Holy Spirit, who also took
a piece of His heart and sewed it to my heart. The Holy
Spirit handed my heart to the Father and He also took a
patch of His heart and sewed it to mine. Then Jesus handed
my patchwork heart back to me. The Father said that Their
heart was really one heart, beating with the same beat, but
He had shown me this picture of all three of Them giving
me a piece of Their heart because He wanted me to know
that these pieces were to be nurtured and allowed to grow
until they totally consumed my heart.
 CHAPTER 20

HAVING FUN IN THE GARDEN

Sitting Around the Campfire

One day I walked over to the river that was in the
garden. This was the river of God’s glory, which had
become so familiar to me. I sat down and put my feet into
the water. Then my Father walked over and sat down next
to me. As I looked down I noticed that in my hand I had a
very simple shing pole and the line was in the water. I
was actually shing in the river, and it was so much fun.
My Father asked me what I was shing for. I thought about
that for just a moment, and with a big smile on my face, I
looked up at Him and said, “Men.” He laughed out loud at
that and said, “Good.” He asked me what I was using for
bait. I thought for a moment, and again, with another big
smile on my face I said very slowly, “Love.” He put His
arm around me, pulled me to Him and said, “That is very
good. The more bait you use, the more you will catch.”
Another time I found myself walking back to a table
where Jesus and the Holy Spirit were sitting. Jesus asked
me if I would like to go somewhere with Him. We started
to walk and we came upon my Father, who was sitting in a
small clearing by a camp re. There were logs in the re
and the ames were hungrily crackling and snapping at
them. We all sat there in companionable silence, listening
to the logs being devoured.
After a while the re grew much warmer, as though
someone had turned the thermostat way up. I became so
uncomfortable that I had to walk away from the heat. As I
turned and looked back toward the campfire, I saw all three
of Them sitting there with Their heads down. I knew I had
done something wrong, so I quickly walked back to the
Father and asked what I had done. He said that it was His
re and sometimes it would grow very warm and become
uncomfortable, but that I should never leave, not even for a
short time—not unless I was told to do so. He said that
others had left, and still others would leave, because
sometimes the re is just too uncomfortable. Then He said
that those who had left the re were out in the woods
shivering. While they could see the re, some were fearful
of coming back, some were too prideful, and some just
didn’t think they needed His fire.
I turned around and saw someone standing at the edge of
the clearing. Indeed this person was shivering and
appeared very cold and scared but yearning to be by the
Father. I looked at the Father and asked Him if this person
was one of the ones whom He had been talking about. “Yes,
she is,” He replied. He told me to get some re. So I stuck
my bare hand into the re and pulled out a single ame
about the size of a plum. I held the ame in the palm of
my hand. Then He told me to go and give the re to this
person. I took it over to her and hugged her, holding her
until I could feel her warming with love from the embrace.
I stood back and gave her my little ame. I knew that she
would go back to the fire and sit with the Father, Jesus, and
the Holy Spirit.
I quickly returned to the re and asked the Father to turn
the re into a blaze. As for me, I wanted to stand in the re
and let it consume me. I understood that if being this close
was uncomfortable at times, then standing in the re would
be extremely uncomfortable. But the way I gured it, that’s
where we should be, in the middle of God’s re, white-hot
for Him.
I started dancing and spinning through the re. I actually
twirled right through my Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit
while They laughed.
The List
One day the Father led me over to another clearing
where I saw a table. He took out a paper and spread it
across the table. Then He said that it was a list of all the
things He wanted me to do and He asked me if I could do
them. I read the list, which included things like share my
Jesus with others, help to set the captives free, speak with
love to all people, show the grace of my Father, etc. The
list was in three columns and it was in very ne print. I
told Him I didn’t know if I could do it. You see, I was
willing, but I didn’t know if I could actually do all that was
on the list.
He called the Holy Spirit to come and stand at my right
side. My Father asked the Holy Spirit, “Can You do all
these things?”
The Holy Spirit smiled and quickly looked over the list.
He said, “Oh yes, I can do all of this.”
My Father put His right hand on my left shoulder, His
left hand on the Holy Spirit’s right shoulder, and gently
started to push. The Holy Spirit and I became as one. I was
aware that He was lling up all of me. My Father asked
Him again, “Can you do all of these things?”
The Holy Spirit smiled again and said, “Yes, I can do all
those things.”
It tickled me when He spoke and I started to giggle.
Then He started to giggle and the Father just smiled and
waited for us to stop. Then my Father asked me again, “Can
you do all of these things?”
“Oh yes,” I replied, “With my wonderful Helper, I can do
all of these things.”
You see, He didn’t ask if I could do all of them without
ever making a mistake. He just asked if I could do them.
Does He want me to do them without a mistake? Oh yes,
but He also knows that it will take practice and He’s so
patient, kind, and forgiving of my mistakes. So I don’t ever
have to fear making mistakes, and I can do all things
through Christ Jesus who strengthens me and by the Holy
Spirit who dwells in me.
Learning to Dance
Then the Holy Spirit and I started to dance again, and
this time I wasn’t just standing while He danced around me.
This dance wasn’t the soaring dance we had done
previously but a deliberate step-by-step dance of me
learning to follow His lead—learning the gentle pressure of
His hand on my back and the subtle movement of His hand
in mine. I knew it was to become the dance of two people
who had danced a thousand dances together; a couple who
had learned to detect even the slightest of nuances from
their partner and was able to anticipate a change in
direction even before the rhythm became apparent.
After we had nished dancing we came back to the table,
and my wonderful Father called Jesus over to where we
were standing. He said, “My Son, describe My daughter to
Me.” And then the Father closed His eyes.
Jesus looked over at me, smiled, and said, “Well, she
loves Us very much. She tries very hard and she hates it
when she sins. Remember the time she….” He went on to
describe the times I had been in a test or a trial and had run
to Them for help. Jesus went on and on about me.
I realized that He never once described my hair, eyes,
height, weight, or color. And He never once said anything
negative about me—and He certainly could have. He was
describing me. Not the me that I don’t like or the me that
had not conquered a particular sin, but the me that He saw.
When Jesus was done, the Father opened His eyes and
said to me, “I have just seen you through the eyes of love.”
Doesn’t He see all of us that way? Aren’t we funny
people not to run to Him for everything because we are
afraid He will see the bad? He only sees us through the
eyes of the love of our wonderful and majestic Lord Jesus.
Gulliver
Another day Jesus took my hand and we started walking
through the woods. We went down some steps and we
came to a small village. Now when I say a “small village” I
mean a miniature toy village, complete with thatched roof
cottages like an old-fashioned English village. There were
little businesses on the main street and a lot of little people
were going about their business.
There, in the middle of the town square, was the Holy
Spirit. He was lying on the ground and He was all trussed
up with little ropes the people had put there to keep Him
bound. He looked just like Gulliver from Jonathan Swift’s
Gulliver’s Travels. He had a big smile on His face as He
lifted one hand up, making the ropes snap and fall o as
though they were only cotton string. The people scrambled
to x all of the ropes and tie Him down again. I heard the
people saying. “Oh no, oh no! He’s loose! We’ve got to tie
Him down again.” Then He did the same thing with the
other hand and the people began running around, trying to
tie Him up again.
Finally He stood up and broke the ropes, easily shaking
them o . He squatted down and said to the people, “Hello.
I’m the Holy Spirit and I’m not going to let you tie Me up
anymore.”
I laughed so hard. Isn’t that what we “little people” do?
We think we can tie up the Holy Spirit and keep Him in
control. Now that’s a laugh!
Inside the Heart of the Father
Then Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and I started walking back
up the steps hand in hand. We walked for a while and I
noticed that I couldn’t see the Father. I asked Jesus where
He was and Jesus told me to turn around. I looked behind
me and there He was. He was huge! I started to climb up in
His lap and continued to climb up His chest, eventually
resting in a fold of His garment. I could tell I was next to
His heart because I could hear it beating. “Ka-love, ka-love,
ka-love” sounded in my ear. Then I slept for a while
because I was so tired from climbing such a great distance.
When I awoke, the Father put His right hand up to me
and I climbed up onto His hand. Now I realize that the next
part of this sounds very strange, but I am writing just as I
saw it. The Father tossed me into His mouth like a pill and
swallowed me! Traveling fast, I ended up in His heart. I
was standing to one side, watching as cells rushed in and
out of His heart like waves. Each cell was labeled: LOVE. I
looked across His heart and saw people I knew. I waved at
them and they waved back. I even saw my two sons. They
were in the recesses of His heart, in the shadows, for they
were not walking with God at that time. They weren’t
joining in our joy at being in the heart of God. They were
very sti , but they were there. Everyone is in God’s heart
because He loves everyone, but not everyone joins in and
those who don’t join in have no joy.
I became concerned when I didn’t see Pastor Bill and
Beni. Maybe this isn’t of the Lord, I wondered. But just
then, Pastor Bill and Beni rode in on one of the love cell
waves. They rode the love cells like you would ride a horse
and Pastor Bill was even wearing a cowboy hat. They had
been looking around, and they told me and some other
friends to come with them so they could show us what they
had seen. Each of us jumped on a love cell and began to
follow them. They led us by God’s throat so we could hear
what His voice sounded like. Then we went up to His eyes
where we stopped. Here we could walk up to His eyes and
look out, like we were in an observation tower.
As I looked out through His eyes, I thought, Well, would
you look at that. The harvest indeed is ripe and ready to be
gathered. There are some workers out there but not nearly
enough. Some of those who are being harvested right now
are going to become harvesters themselves.
Then we got back on our love cells and headed for the
Father’s brain. His brain had electrical charges that were
going through all of the synapses. Each electrical charge
was like a pink neon sign that ashed: LOVE. Hundreds of
thousands of pink ashes of LOVE going o and on—it was
an incredible light show.
Next we went on down to His hands where we could see
how He does things. Then we all headed for His feet so we
could see where He was going. Lastly, we went back to His
heart.
When He swallowed me I wasn’t afraid because I knew
He wouldn’t chew me up or spit me out.
 CHAPTER 21

FINDING YOUR WAY BACK TO INTIMACY

The Jungle
Next, I found myself back in the garden with my Father,
Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. They were talking and I didn’t
understand what They were saying, so I got a little bored. I
noticed a jungle-like area that was nearby and it had a path
going to it, so I decided to explore. After a while the path
became darker as all of the trees, vines, and plants became
very dense. Then I came to a clearing. All of a sudden, a
saber-toothed tiger jumped out at me, roaring with his
teeth bared. I just stood there very still as the tiger
continued to snarl.
I started to call for Jesus and the Holy Spirit, but just
when I opened my mouth, the tiger snarled louder and
moved toward me. I stopped. I was so scared that I just
stood there, very still. I began to wonder, How am I going
to get myself out of this fix? Then I reasoned that even if the
tiger ate me I had nothing to fear. This jungle was in God’s
garden so I must be immune from danger. As I took a step
to walk away, the tiger lunged at me, but I had a protective
shield around me. The tiger hit the shield, bounced o , and
then ran away. So I decided that I would just keep on
walking deeper into the jungle.
Next, I ducked under a low-hanging branch, and on the
branch was an enormous snake. The snake put his head
right in front of me and started to hiss. The snake had a
huge head—as big as mine. He could have swallowed me in
one gulp. I stood very still. And again, as soon as I opened
my mouth to call for help, the snake began to open its
mouth and crept closer to my head. But I’d been through
this same thing with the tiger, so I started to walk away.
Just as with the tiger, the protective shield stopped the
snake. He just bonked his head, bounced o the shield,
then slithered away.
Then I came to a clearing and there was a person sitting
there. At rst, I thought it was my Jesus, so I ran to Him. I
ran up and fell at His feet and put my head on His lap. But
as soon as my head rested on His lap, I knew it wasn’t
Jesus. It was a stone person—a statue. I looked at the face
of the statue and it had a stone tear on its stone cheek. I got
up and tried to go back the way I had come, but I couldn’t
nd the path. I did see another path, however, and as I ran
down the path I came to a cave. As I approached the cave a
huge black bear came ambling out on all fours. Once again,
I knew what to do. I just turned around and ran back
toward the clearing.
On the way back I stopped to sit on a log beside the path
to catch my breath. If only I had a map, I thought, I would
be able to nd my way out of this place. At that moment I
glanced down and saw a map lying in front of my feet. I
quickly looked around. I knew someone had to have left it
there just a few moments ago because it hadn’t been there
when I sat down. But I didn’t see anyone at all in the
immediate area. So I proceeded to open up the map and
study it. The map showed the tiger place, the snake place,
the clearing with the statue, the bear cave, and the path that
would take me out of the jungle. After looking at the map,
I realized that I needed to return to the clearing where the
statue sat.
So I got up and took the path back to the clearing. When
I came into the clearing, the statue came to life and began
screeching at me. Then the statue stood up and started
walking toward me. I knew that the statue wanted me to
stay in the jungle, and I sensed that if it got to me, it would
try to hold me back. The statue was going very slowly,
lumbering from one heavy foot to the next. I was
frightened, so I started to run toward the path that would
take me out of that place, but my feet and legs felt like
cement. Suddenly, I felt very tired. I kept going, but the
more I struggled with my feet and legs, the more tired I
got, and the desire to lie down was almost overwhelming. I
started to pick up my legs with my hands—right, left,
right, left—all the while the wailing statue was pursuing
me.
Out of the Jungle
When I nally made it out of the jungle, my Father,
Jesus, and the Holy Spirit were waiting for me. I ran to my
Father, sat on His lap, and cried. I was so upset. Jesus
came over and sat by us and wiped the tears from my
cheeks. When I nally settled down, the Holy Spirit came
over and held out His hand to me. I took His hand and He
led me to a bench where we sat down.
I asked Him why all of this had happened. He answered,
“You never asked Us about the jungle. You just took o on
your own.”
Then I asked about the statue, “Who did it represent and
why did it chase me?”
He said it was someone who had gone into the jungle
just like me but who had never made it out. I asked Him if
He would have left me in there. He smiled and said, “Who
do you think left you the map? I give a map to everyone,
but some don’t choose to look at it.”
Back in the Jungle
Several days later, I was back at the same place in the
jungle. I had been feeling sorry for the stone statue, so I
asked the Father if I could go back and help the statue get
out of the jungle. He answered, “Yes” and He put a huge,
gold and silver sword in my hand. Across the blade was
written LOVE.
Walking down the path into the jungle, I began to feel
fearful and stopped about halfway. What if I got caught in
the jungle again and couldn’t get out? Then the Holy Spirit,
who I didn’t know was following me, leaned over my
shoulder and whispered in my ear, “This time you were
sent, and I’m going with you.” This immediately gave me
con dence and I entered the clearing boldly because I knew
the Holy Spirit was with me.
When the statue saw me, it stood up and began to wail
again as it came toward me. I raised the sword over my
head, and when the statue came close, I plunged the sword
into its heart. The statue immediately stopped, dead still.
Then a chunk of stone fell o of its cheek and I could see
esh underneath. Soon other pieces of stone began to fall
o , and underneath was a woman. I pointed to the path
that would lead her out of the jungle and told her, “Run,
run quickly. Get out!” Then I watched as she ran into the
arms of the Father and Jesus. I was so happy I had helped
to set a captive free.
Dancing With Me
Then out of the corner of my eye I could see movement.
As I turned to look, I saw a whole bunch of statues coming
toward me. I hadn’t seen them before. Where had they
been? I knew I couldn’t handle all of them, and I began to
feel fearful again. At that moment the Holy Spirit leaned
over and said, “Dance with Me.”
I thought to myself, What? Dance? These statues are
coming after me and He wants me to dance?
He said it again, “Dance with Me.”
So I thought, OK, what do I have to lose?
I still held the sword, only now His hand joined my hand
on the sword. As we began to dance, the Holy Spirit
positioned our steps so I could easily stab each statue in the
heart. We danced around until we had stabbed all of the
statues. At one point, one of the statues almost grabbed me,
but the Holy Spirit just twirled me out of harm’s way and
brought me around to stab the statue right in the heart.
After each of the statues was stabbed, the stone fell o of it
and the person underneath ran out of the jungle. Then the
Holy Spirit and I walked out of the jungle as well.
As we came out of the jungle, I approached the rst
person who had been released from the stone and asked her
why she and the others couldn’t see that they had been
turned into stone statues. She said that because the statues
all looked alike they thought they were normal. When I
came into the clearing they saw that I appeared quite
di erent and it scared them. They wanted to grab me and
make me just like them so I would stay and keep them
company.
Sometime later I shared this particular vision with a
friend. She later called me and said she felt like she was the
statue. She wanted out but didn’t know where her map was.
Later, as I was praying for her, the Lord led me to a
Scripture. Now I don’t know what map you may need, but
feel free to use the Scripture I gave my friend:

“For I know the plans that I have for you,” de clare s the Lord,
“plans for we lfare and not for calamity to give you a future
and a hope . The n you will call upon Me and come and pray
to Me , and I will liste n to you. You will se e k Me and nd Me
whe n you se arch for Me with all your he art” (Jeremiah 29:11-
13).
The Orchard
Another day Jesus led me to an orchard that had trees
loaded with fruit. Lying on the ground in the middle of this
orchard was a red-and-white checkered tablecloth. Jesus
told me to sit down on the tablecloth. Then He went over
to a tree, picked a piece of fruit that looked similar to a
peach, and brought it over to me. I had a small knife and I
cut the fruit into four sections. Then I peeled each section
from the seed and ate it. It was sweet and so good. When I
had nished, He told me to cut open the pit. As I pried it
open, a bug that looked like an earwig came out of the pit.
This bug had eaten the seed that had been inside the pit.
Jesus told me that the bug had gotten into the pit without
damaging the fruit, and no one even knew it was there. The
fruit still tasted sweet, but the part of the fruit that could
reproduce—the seed—had been destroyed. He told me to
guard the seed with everything I had and to go to any
lengths to see that the seed was not destroyed. I asked Him
what the seed represented and He replied, “It is your love
for Me.” Are you wondering what the bugs represented? So
was I. The bugs represented the snares of this world—
things like anxiety, unforgiveness, and bitterness.
We sat there for a time just enjoying each other and our
time together. Then a gentle wind started blowing,
eventually getting stronger and stronger. I had not been
aware of any weather in this place before, so I thought it
strange. The wind continued to increase. I looked up at
Jesus, but He seemed unconcerned. He saw my concern
and pulled me up onto His lap. Fruit began to fall from the
trees, but He still didn’t seem concerned. Then I saw that it
was the bad fruit that was falling and I felt better. I asked
Him where the wind was coming from and He told me to
look. I raised myself up and peeked over His shoulder.
There at the edge of the orchard was my Father—blowing.
Jesus told me, “It is the breath of God. He is knocking the
bad fruit o the trees so that the good fruit can grow
bigger.”
I had to laugh. I got up and started to run around the
orchard in the breath of God. I was about four or ve trees
away from Jesus when I looked back and saw that He was
standing and looking at me. I ran to Him and threw myself
into His arms. He held me and we began to dance. Then He
said, “I’ve heard you and the Holy Spirit have been
practicing dancing for our wedding day. You only have to
grow up a little more before you’re ready.”
I said, “Jesus, my Jesus, if I can do anything to hasten the
day we can be together, please tell me. I long to be with
You.”
And He replied, “Just as I long to be with you.”
 CHAPTER 22

BLESSINGS AND OTHER GARDEN EXPERIENCES

One day my Father called Jesus over and asked Him to

show me His storehouse. We crossed the river representing
God’s glory, and there I saw a huge storehouse. As we
walked through the gigantic doors of this cavernous place,
I saw enormous bins on each side of the building. Each bin
had thousands upon thousands of blessings piled in it. Each
blessing was represented by a ball about the size of an
orange. These balls were all di erent colors and they
represented all di erent kinds of blessings. There were
nancial blessings and healing blessings, including
physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual healing. Joy and
peace were in the bins—enough for everyone. I also noticed
di erent gifts and talents piled high and far too numerous
to list here. The colors were amazing and it seemed as
though no blessing was quite the same color as another.
Each bin had a chute that poured the blessings onto a
conveyor belt running through the middle of the building.
This conveyor belt had built-up sides that were
approximately 6 inches high. Blessings were all stacked up
on the conveyor belt because the belt was not moving. I ran
the entire distance to the end of the building to see where
the belt was going. When I got to the end, there was a large
opening in the building and from it a chute led down to the
earth. I saw that a few of the blessings were falling o the
end because the conveyor belt was so full, but a lot more
blessings were just waiting there for the belt to start
moving.
Jesus was standing at the same end of the building and
had His hand on the switch that would turn on the
motionless conveyor belt. I asked Him when He was going
to turn it on, and He said, “As soon as the Father tells Me
to.” I ran out the door and over to my Father, crawled up
onto His lap, and asked Him when He was going to tell
Jesus to turn on the conveyor belt. He said, “Soon, very
soon.”
The Box
Another day we went back to the place where the Holy
Spirit had shown me the creative objects and pedestals. He
handed me a beautiful wooden cube that was about 4
inches by 4 inches and told me to open it. I looked and
looked, but I couldn’t nd a place to open it. I looked up
and said, “I can’t open it.”
He answered, “Yes, you can.”
I continued to look for the opening of this box, running
my ngers around the surface to see if there was a crack
that I had missed. I nally became impatient. I looked at
the box and spoke to it in frustration, “Oh open!” And it
did. Now, I had thought that it would open at the edge of
one side, but it opened right down the middle where there
was no seam, just like an egg that cracks.
You’ll have to think hard about what comes next because
it’s di cult to describe. The box opened and it had about a
2-inch lip around the sides. It looked like a box that had
hinges in the middle of one side, but there were no hinges.
What appeared to be inside was a piece of fuzz, which
mysti ed me. Why would my Father keep a fuzz ball, or as
my daughter would say, a “dust bunny,” in this beautiful
box?
I set the box down on the pedestal, and immediately each
side that was standing up started to fold down. The sides
kept unfolding more and more in every direction. The box
began to get rather large and I thought it might knock over
other things that were nearby. I stood in front of it and
began to hold my hands out so it would grow in certain
directions. The Father touched my shoulder, and when I
looked up at Him, He said, “Don’t stop it.” He said it with
wonder and excitement at what it was becoming. He didn’t
want me to get in the way of its growth and keep it from
forming.
I stood by the Father and watched as it continued to
unfold. I noticed that in the center that little dust ball was
growing also. It was moving and bulging out in all
directions. It reminded me of a Disney cartoon I had seen
once of an atom with all the little ions going very fast
around the nucleus. The edges of the box nally stopped
folding down and I looked again at the fuzz ball. I was
amazed to see that the tiny fuzz ball, which I had thought
was just a dust bunny, had grown into a beautiful tropical
garden with trees and plants and owers. Wow, was it
beautiful!
The Father took my hand and we ew up, over, and then
down into the garden. As we passed one of the trees, the
fronds brushed against my face. It was the softest, most
gentle, most peaceful, most wonderful feeling—that a tree
could feel like that was amazing!
We sat together, my Father and I, in this garden, and He
started to talk to me about the box and the garden. He said
that I must never stop His work. I had been so concerned
that it would knock something over that I had been about
to stop its progress. When He gives us something it may
not look like much, and we might not be able to tell what
it is, but if we just do as He says, it will open up for us. He
went on to say that what He starts may not look very
valuable or good to us (the fuzz ball), but He can take the
littlest, most insigni cant things and bring wonders out of
them.
I remembered how people got very worried in the
beginning of Toronto Blessing of 1994. The people were
afraid of losing control. Perhaps some of their precious
traditions (usually man-made ones) would be knocked
over. Sometimes we see something that God starts as a
“fuzz ball”—something of little value. Many people didn’t
think the joy and laughter were very valuable. But if we let
God’s plan (fuzz ball) unfold, it will grow into something
that is of infinite value.
Galaxy in a Bottle
The Father took me again to His creation place. As I
looked around, He told me, “You can go anywhere you
want.” I found a very interesting bottle on one of the
pedestals. The bottle was shaped like a big gourd, about 1
foot tall, and appeared to be made of a moving opaque
glass of beautiful blues and greens. When I tried to pick up
the bottle it seemed too heavy to lift. So I told the Father I
could not pick it up because it was too heavy. He told me,
“Yes you can.” So I tried again, but it still wouldn’t budge.
I turned to the Father and again told Him it was too
heavy. This time He said, “Yes you can. Just believe.” I
thought a moment and said to myself, OK, I’m going to
think of this as something that is as light as a feather. As I
reached out again to pick it up, it almost oated in my
hands—just like a feather.
The lid of the bottle was very strange. It came o easily
as though it were hinged, but I could not see any hinge or
attachment to the bottle. I could roll the lid around the top
lip of the bottle and it would come o , but it stuck to the
bottle, almost like a magnet. I was fascinated with this and
spent quite a bit of time just trying to gure out how the
lid stayed attached to the bottle. After some time, I nally
looked into the bottle and saw an incredible sight. Inside
this bottle was an entire galaxy! It wasn’t a picture or a
model, but a real galaxy. As I peered inside the bottle I
watched the galaxy rotate ever so slowly. What was so
astounding was that the inside of the bottle was larger than
the outside. The inside of the bottle went on forever. But
when I looked at the outside of the bottle, it appeared as
though it could hold very little. The whole thing was mind-
boggling.
I began to wonder if the Father kept our galaxy in a
bottle. So I turned and asked Him, as I pointed at the inside
of the bottle, “Are there people in there?”
In a playful tone that parents use when our kids ask silly
questions, He responded, “No, I don’t keep My people in
bottles.”
Whew! Was I ever relieved to know that I’m not stuck in
a bottle on some heavenly shelf! Then I asked Him if I
could stick my finger in the bottle.
He said, “Nooooo.” And I realized what might happen to
all the planets and stars if I stuck my nger in that bottle
and started moving things around.
The Scripture John 7:24 comes to mind, “Do not judge
according to appearance, but judge with righteous
judgment.” You never want to make a judgment based on
what something looks like on the outside, even a bottle!
Color My Garden
Our God loves gardens. He has a lot of them and enjoys
showing them o to us. He has indeed created a garden for
each of us to come to. A place of fellowship with Him, just
as He walked with Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. I
have seen so many di erent gardens in my journeys with
Him. Each garden is a little di erent, and I learn a little
more about Him in each place. I’ll give you an example.
One day the Lord took me to a beautiful garden. There
was a lovely creek that pooled into a pond surrounded by
owers. I could hear the water gently owing over some
rocks. This garden was very full of a variety of di erent
owers of all shapes and sizes, but interestingly enough the
owers were all in shades of lavender. As we sat there
together gazing upon the beauty of the garden, I began to
think about the color lavender. It’s really not a color I’m
drawn to in the natural. I don’t dislike lavender, but I had
always thought of it as being just a neutral color.
So then I began to wonder why the Lord had made this
lavender garden for me. I was sure that He knew that my
favorite color was red. As I was thinking this, He leaned
over and said, “Would you like to see it in red?”
“Oh yes,” I replied.
The owers in the garden all instantly turned to di erent
shades of red. My goodness! It looked like an explosion had
gone off. It was still beautiful but rather startling.
Then He leaned over again and asked, “Would you like
to see it in yellow?” Of course I said yes. And in an instant
all of the red turned to shades of yellow. Wow! Talk about
bright. Then He leaned over and asked again, this time if
I’d like to see it in green. I agreed and the yellow instantly
changed to shades of green. The green was lovely also, but
nothing was as peaceful as the lavender. With this thought,
the garden instantly switched back to lavender. I laughed
out loud. Even though my favorite color was red, He knew
that a color I rarely ever notice would be the one that
would give me the most peace and pleasure in this setting.
So the lesson I learned that day was God knows best.
Seated With My Creator
One time, while walking through another garden, I came
upon the Father standing beside His throne. Now I had seen
His throne before, but for some reason I hadn’t paid much
attention to it. Now I could see that the throne was so
beautiful. It wasn’t golden, but was made out of the
substance of Heaven. It looked like formed light. Then He
called me forward, put His hand on the seat, and said, “Sit
down.”
I looked up at Him and said, “Oh no, I can’t sit there,
that’s Your throne.”
He smiled and again told me to sit down. I was standing
at the front of the throne, so I put my hand upon it. My
hand went through the seat like it was a fog…nothing of
substance. I quickly drew my hand back, looked up at the
Father, and said, “I can’t sit there, I’ll fall through!” Again
He just smiled and told me to sit down.
Carefully, I put my little knee up on the seat, and then
gingerly climbed up, thinking that I would fall through the
seat at any time. I sat back and my legs stuck straight out
because the throne was so large. I set my hand on my leg
and my hand “fell” through my leg, and right on through
the chair. So I quickly drew my hand up to my chest. I
didn’t understand all of the dynamics of these heavenly
visions. At this point I thought that I must be spirit, and
therefore, I could be “substance,” but also “non-substance.”
After Jesus ascended and came back, He was a spirit. He
walked through a wall, and yet the disciples could also
touch and feel Him. Alas, another mystery.
The Picture in the Wall
Then the Father pointed to what looked like a black
obsidian wall that was standing in front of us. This wall
was not smooth, however. It had facets like a diamond
ring, and there were colors in each facet. All of a sudden I
heard a click. As I watched, two facets in the upper right
hand corner of the wall turned and became one facet. Then
I heard more clicking and began to see other facets in the
wall join with each other.
I looked to the Father thinking He might explain it to
me. Oh, you should have seen the joy on His face. He was
so excited to watch all of the little facets joining together.
He looked down at me and told me to watch. I turned back
and watched for a few minutes, but I was more fascinated
by His expression of joy. So I scooted back in the seat of
the throne so I could be a little back from Him and could
watch Him again. He turned to me again and gave me a
look that said, “Please watch this.” I decided that I had
better do what He asked. As I watched, I found that the bits
of color in each facet were actually coming together to
form a picture.
When all of the facets in the wall had nished clicking,
the wall made one big picture of a beautiful garden. Oh
my! The trees, plants, pond, and stream were
breathtakingly beautiful. I realized then that He had made
this “picture” just for me. He created this just for my
pleasure. And the joy I had seen in His expression was
because He had created something for one of His children
and was excited that He could be there with me when I
discovered what He had done.
 As I was enjoying the scene of the picture, He asked if I
wanted to go in. Go in? Of course I said yes. He took my
hand and we stepped down o the throne and walked right
up to the picture. We didn’t stop but walked right on into
the garden. What I thought was a at picture was actually a
real garden. He so loves gardens. The trees and plants in
this garden were very unusual. The colors were like none I
have ever seen on earth. Such beauty is hard to
comprehend.
Then we walked over near the pond and sat down. I sat
on His lap and laid my head on His chest. I think it was
probably similar to John laying his head on Jesus. I was
resting there, just enjoying being with Him, when I heard
something. I sat up so I could look up at Him, but He was
just looking o into the distance. I laid my head back down
and again I heard something. I sat up straight and looked at
Him again. I did this a few more times until I realized that
what I was hearing was Him talking. I sat up and said,
“You’re talking!”
He smiled and said “Yes, I am always talking. The issue
is, are you listening?”
 CHAPTER 23

THE FOUNTAIN

I thought about the miniature village where the Holy

Spirit was tied up and I thought about how I tried to direct
the growth of the box with the fuzz ball. I realized that so
often we have a tendency to try to control what God is
doing. God gave me another lesson on this subject one day
after I read the following Scripture:

For My pe ople have committe d two e vils:

The y have forsake n Me ,
The fountain of living wate rs,
To he w for the mse lve s ciste rns,
Broke n ciste rns
That can hold no wate r (Jeremiah 2:13).

Immediately after I read this verse, the Lord took me into

a vision. I saw a fountain with water owing out of it.
There were lots of people around the fountain drinking,
splashing, and having a good time. I noticed that the ow
of the water was strong at times and ebbed at other times.
At its strongest ow, it actually sprayed over the edges of
the bowl, and when it ebbed, there was barely a trickle
running down the fountain, but it still supplied the bowl.
The people noticed this change in ow too. Someone said,
“Let’s go build a cistern to hold the water. You never know,
the fountain may stop someday and then we would be out
of water. Plus, it’s being wasted when it ows over the
bowl.”
So a bunch of people went some distance from the
fountain and built a cistern. The people got buckets and
started taking the water from the fountain to the cistern.
When the cistern was lled, they went about with their
lives and took their water from the cistern instead of the
fountain.
However, there was a problem. This cistern had a leak. It
was a slow leak, so the people didn’t realize that the water
level was dropping. When new people came around who
hadn’t seen the full cistern, they just thought it was at the
level it had always been. Over a long period of time, the
water was reduced to mere puddles in the bottom of the
cistern. People had to lie on the ground and reach down
into the cistern in order to get some water. By this time the
water had grown stagnant, but the people didn’t even
notice that the water tasted foul. They were dull, never
thinking about where they had received the water in the
beginning.
Then someone nally remembered the fountain and got
everyone excited. They traveled back to the fountain,
which wasn’t far. The water was still owing and they
raced to it, drinking, splashing, and having a good time.
They were revived. But eventually the cycle started all over
again. Someone said, “Let’s go build a cistern to hold the
water…”
This Scripture and vision give us a picture of revival
history. The water represents the move of the Holy Spirit.
There are those who say the same things about the move of
God that people said about the fountain. When the water
over owed onto the ground, people said that it was being
wasted. Because they couldn’t see the e ect the over owing
water was having, they assumed it was unnecessary or
perhaps dangerous. No doubt it was muddy around the
fountain. Messy. Perhaps the excessive water caused weeds
to grow around the fountain.
But it is God who causes the fountain to ow at the
pressure He desires. We should not presume to judge the
e ects of the move of God prematurely. Perhaps the water
that is soaking into the ground is forming a reservoir that
will provide a well for someone in the future. Maybe
someone will come along and use the mud to give sight to
a blind man. As for the weeds—what if what we assume is
just a weed is really a beautiful owering plant instead? I
know that I’ve seen plants that I thought were weeds and
they turned into beautiful owers. I’ve also seen plants that
I thought were really pretty and it turned out they were
weeds that overtook the owers. God knows and God lets
His fountain ow how He wants it to ow. By the way, the
fountain isn’t a circular fountain. The water is always fresh.
It’s not recycled. Neither is it a pool. The water is always
owing. If water sits, it loses its oxygen…the breath of
God. It has to be allowed to flow to stay fresh.
Why?
Why did the people build a cistern? Fear! “What if the
water stops?” they asked. Fear brings distrust of the
Trustworthy One. Notice that God said through Jeremiah,
“They have forsaken Me, the fountain of living waters.”
Likewise, Psalm 68:26 says, “Bless God in the
congregations, even the Lord, You who are of the fountain
of Israel.” God is the fountain and the fountain is ours
forever. Is it possible for God to ever dry up? Psalm 37:3
says, “Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and
cultivate faithfulness.” Don’t forsake Him because you don’t
understand everything or because you think something
negative may happen in the future. Have faith that God
truly does know best! When the water is owing very
slowly and it looks like it may stop, it is time for our faith
to step up to the plate. God said He would never leave us.
His fountain will never stop and it will never dry up. The
bowl will never be empty. The slow seasons are
opportunities for us to learn to appreciate the over owing
times more. Certainly He wants us to learn to trust Him
whether things are flowing fast or slow.
The cistern is a picture of how we try to control and
contain what God is doing. When we open the door to fear,
we allow a spirit of control to enter. Whatever you control
becomes stagnant. It may happen over a long or short
period of time, but it will happen every time. When we
don’t trust God, we do things our way. We try to control
what He’s given us. The problem with trying to control
things is that it extinguishes the move of the Holy Spirit.
This grieves Him because it communicates that we do not
trust Him and merely want the bene ts of His presence
instead of His presence itself. Hopefully that is something
none of us wants to be known for. How could we desire
anything more than His presence?
It’s important to note that the book of Jeremiah says that
forsaking the fountain and building cisterns are two evils.
These aren’t just little mistakes or sins; they are actually
described as “evils.” One of the meanings of evil in Hebrew
is “destroy.” Fear and control destroy the works of God.
 CHAPTER 24

THE PATH TO DESTINY

The Golden Brick Path

One day Jesus came and took me up to a place where a
long path made of what appeared to be golden bricks
stretched before us. He pointed down the path and said,
“This is your path to walk on.” Then He reached out His
hand to me and said, “Let’s go for a walk.” I put my little
hand in His and off we went.
After we had walked down this path for some time, I
noticed something odd. Every so often I saw some strange
little bars growing in groups along the edges of the path.
The bars were golden and about an inch in diameter. At
rst the bars were few and infrequent, but then they started
multiplying. Each bar grew slowly and at different levels.
Though the presence of these bars became increasingly
obvious, Jesus never said anything about them. After
passing by several groups of bars, I pulled my hand out of
Jesus’ hand and walked over to a group of bars. I just
couldn’t gure out what they were. As I looked at the bars,
they began to grow and multiply more quickly. I walked
around them as they grew, trying to gure out what they
were. Jesus called to me and said, “Come.” I went back to
Jesus, put my hand in His hand and we started to walk
again.
We had walked just a little way when I began to wonder
how big those bars had grown. I started to turn around to
look at them when Jesus said, “Don’t look back.” He wasn’t
mean or mad about it, but He was very rm. I looked up at
Him and He bent down until we were face to face. He told
me that those bars on my path were obstacles, explaining
that the more I looked at them the faster they would grow,
eventually blocking my path. He told me, however, that
even if the obstacles grew and completely blocked my
path, I could still climb over them. It wouldn’t be easy
once the bars blocked the path because they were of
di erent heights. Getting a toehold would be hard, but it
could be done. He reminded me that the Holy Spirit is a
Helper who helps anyone who asks.
He then swept His arm toward the left of my path and I
saw many, many other paths. Jesus said, “These are other
people’s paths. You must never walk on someone else’s
path.” He told me that if I walked on someone else’s path,
two things could happen. First, that person might think I
was doing the work on his or her path, so either he would
sit back and not do the work he needed to do, or secondly,
he would become angry with me for trespassing on his
path. By walking where I wasn’t intended to walk I had the
potential to either keep someone from his destiny or cause
dissension in the Body of Christ. Jesus went on to tell me
that I didn’t have the gifting, talents, or anointing to
accomplish the work on anyone else’s path. It was
important that I only walk on my path, ignoring all
obstacles, pressing onward with my eyes toward the goal
and my hand in His.
What a good lesson this was! I started thinking about
what the obstacles might be. I realized that any sin could be
an obstacle, and obstacles had the potential to kill my
destiny. One obstacle that I see very frequently as I minister
to people is o ense. People take o ense whenever
someone does or says something that causes them anger,
resentment, hurt, displeasure, or humiliation. As we each
walk our paths, the most important thing to do is forgive
anyone who does something to us to cause those feelings. If
we don’t, the obstacle of o ense grows. And the more we
watch the offense, the bigger the obstacle grows.
The Tale of Offense
Let me tell you a story about offense. “Fred” was 29 years
old when the obstacle of o ense grew up on his path. At
the time, Fred was on re for God. He was in all of the
musicals at church, led a home group, and had his children
in the Christian school. His passion and devotion were
completely genuine. But then Fred got o ended. Within a
year of the unforgiven o ense, Fred had left the church,
and within two years he had left his wife and family. He
lived a wild life for a few years. Every once in a while we
saw him back at church. He was trying to get over the
offense but never seemed able to do so.
He nally remarried and settled down from his wild
lifestyle but “things” took over. He loved his friends and
family, but he never got on with the path to his destiny.
Fred died suddenly at age 49. It was tragic. As I sat at his
memorial service and listened to all of his friends talk
about what a good guy he was, I was so thankful for God’s
grace. I had such a peace that Fred was with the Lord,
partaking in the pleasure of God’s presence. Did he ful ll
the destiny of his path? No, but he never denied Jesus. He
was still a believer.
As the service continued I had a vision of Fred in Heaven
with Jesus. They were both so happy, hugging each other.
And very excitedly, Jesus said, “Would you like to see all
the plans I had for you?” They turned and watched the
plans unfold. On Fred’s path I could see numerous
salvations, healings, people being set free, etc. But also on
the path were the obstacles that had grown so large they
completely covered the path. These were the areas that
Fred was never able to overcome. Then Fred started
sobbing. Jesus immediately turned to him and wiped the
tears from his eyes and He said, “It’s OK, Fred. You are
here with Me now.” I could see that Jesus was not angry or
judgmental with Fred. He was just excited for Fred to see
all that He had planned for him.
As soon as I saw Fred and Jesus walking away together,
this Scripture came to mind, “And He will wipe away every
tear from their eyes…” (Rev. 21:4). In the past I had
wondered, Why would we be crying in Heaven? That verse
made no sense to me. But in that moment I wondered,
What if, when we are with the Lord, He turns around and
shows us our path? What if He shows us all the wonderful
things that He had planned for us? If so, we might also see
all of the times that obstacles had kept us from His
wonderful plans for us. Maybe the obstacles hadn’t
completely stopped us, but they had slowed our progress
down. We might be able to see all of the obstacles and how
big they had become because we insisted on dwelling on
them. If that happened, I think we would be crying.
Thankfully, Jesus will wipe away our tears and say, “But I
paid for that. Enter into eternity in God’s presence.”
I cried as I thought of Fred and his untraveled path. I’m
sure many people around me thought that I was crying for
Fred, and they would have been right. He was a bright star
who had been dulled by an obstacle of o ense. But I was
also crying for myself. I cried out to Jesus, “Please, please
don’t ever let me dwell on the obstacles. I want to
accomplish everything You have for me on my path.
Remind me, Jesus, of my path. Remind me not to look at
obstacles. I don’t ever want o ense to hinder my walk.
Holy Spirit, my Helper, help me.”
Then there was Danny, who was 15 years old when he
became o ended. Actually, both men were o ended by the
same thing at the same time. Danny also left the church,
and for the next 20 years he ran from God. He always said
he believed, but his life didn’t show it. Drugs and drinking
consumed him. After 20 years he looked like death, and he
knew he had to do something.
One day he asked his mother what made her happy. She
shared with him that loving and serving Jesus made her
happy, and she then proceeded to prophesy destiny into
his life. He cried, but there was no outward change. Then,
a few months later, he came to church with her one Sunday
and went forward at the altar call. He started to meet with a
couple of the pastors at the church. One of them, Banning
Liebscher, was in charge of part of the second year
program of Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry
(BSSM). This pastor asked Danny to come up to class so
they could talk in the back during class. The day he went,
the students were learning about prophecy and were
practicing giving prophetic words. One of the students said
he had heard a name. It just so happened that it was
Danny’s last name. They called Danny up to the front of the
class and the students began to prophesy words about his
path and his destiny.
The next day he told his mother that he wanted to go to
BSSM. He completed two years of the school. Danny saw
his path and is walking on it. He’s excited. He was able,
with the Holy Spirit’s help, to crawl over the obstacle of
o ense that had blocked his path for so many years. I am
excited along with him because Danny is my son.
So that’s “The Tale of O ense.” One never got over the
obstacle and one did. Remember what Jesus told me? Well,
it really goes for all of us. “Walk only on your path. Keep
your eyes forward toward the goal. Do not pay any
attention to the obstacles. Keep your hand in His.”
Here is an encouraging “warning.” One of the big
obstacles in my life was rejection. To this day, twelve years
after the start of this journey, because of incidents in my
life, I can still feel the sting of rejection. I can choose to
look at that obstacle or I can go to Jesus and have it healed.
I choose to follow Paul’s admonition and take my thoughts
captive (see 2 Cor. 10:5). Do people do things to all of us
that aren’t very nice? Yes. Whether it’s on purpose or
something they didn’t even know they did, forgiveness is
the key and then go on with your life. He never rejects us
He only loves us with loving-kindness. His Love is
sufficient for all my needs.
Looking at obstacles is a choice. Let your mind dwell on
the good (see Phil. 4:8).
Higher
One day Jesus told me to come with Him. As we started
walking, I saw a very large mountain range up ahead. After
we climbed up to the very top, Jesus began walking along
a ridge. I was feeling extremely tired and asked if we could
just rest a few minutes before we continued our journey.
He said we could rest. Then He sat down with his legs
crossed Indian style, picked me up, and sat me on His lap.
I looked out over to the places I had been. Way o in the
distance I could see the chasm and the bridge where I had
begun this journey. I could see the maize place, the garden,
the holy place with the objects, the jungle, and the orchard.
Through it all ran the river of God’s glory. I followed the
river with my eyes. It appeared to end where the
mountains began, only I knew it didn’t end there but
continued to flow beneath the mountains.
I was sad to be leaving these places behind. I felt so
comfortable here, but as I looked around I didn’t see my
Father or my Holy Spirit anywhere. I didn’t want to stay
where I could not be with Them. I knew They were up
ahead waiting for me, and my Jesus would take me to
Them.
 CHAPTER 25

TAKING OTHERS TO HEAVEN

At Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry (BSSM) near

the start of each new school term, the leadership has me
come to “do my Heaven thing.” I do this at the beginning
of the term because that’s when heart and relationship
issues between the students and the Father are being dealt
with.
The most important thing I have found about leading
people to the gate of Heaven is that it’s all about
relationship with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. My
natural father did not love me—didn’t know how to love
me—and this so a ected the way I saw God the Father. It is
di cult to feel that God loves you when you haven’t
actually experienced being loved by your own father. Oh, I
knew the Bible said that God loved me, but I had never
actually experienced this love before the Father so
profoundly showed me how much He loved me.
I so love leading people to the place where they
experience God in a new, loving, and wonderful way.
When I start telling people about what happened to me I
get caught up in the wonder of it all over again—the
wonder of how God so loves us and wants to manifest
Himself to us. I feel the joy of a little girl with her daddy.
As I look around the room, it seems as though the students
are caught up in the wonder as well.
I share with them how much it looks like imagination,
but it comes from one’s spirit, and it is with the leading of
the Holy Spirit. I tell the students to relax and be peaceful,
because they can’t enter into an encounter when they are
striving. By this time, their excitement is palpable in the
air, sort of like children going on their rst ride at
Disneyland.
The Process
Here is how I lead others past their obstacles and into the
Kingdom, where they can begin to see with the eyes of
their spirit, the only One who is pure love—Jesus. Come
along with us. He is here for you too.
First, I tell them to close their eyes and not to open them
until I give them permission. Then I tell them to picture
Jesus out in front of them. He doesn’t have to be real clear
because when I rst saw Him it was shadowy. I wait and
then ask them to raise their hands if they have a picture of
Him. I know that there will always be some who aren’t
seeing anything, but I know I can’t wait for everyone, so if
the majority can picture Him, I tell the rest to soak in His
presence.
Next I tell the students to walk up to Jesus and then wait.
I ask again how many are standing right in front of Him.
By this time His presence is growing very strong because
we have entered into a heavenly atmosphere where people
are anxious for an encounter with a loving God. Then I tell
them that He is going to do something.
How do I know? Because this is what He told me to do. I
don’t understand all the whys and wherefores. I’m just a
little girl trying to share the love of my Abba/Daddy. This
is where it starts to get very interesting.
I have them raise their hands if Jesus has done
something. Then I go around to them with a microphone
and ask them what He did. Their eyes are still closed
because I don’t want them to be distracted. Oh the things I
hear. “He hugged me.” “He kissed me.” “He’s dancing with
me.” “He put His hand on my head.” It’s that touch. Jesus
loves to touch us. Isn’t that the way love is here in our
world? When we love someone we want to be near them,
we want to touch them. Do you really think it’s any
different with Him?
Then I tell them that He wants to say something to them.
I wait for a while. Then I go to the people who have raised
their hands in a rmation that Jesus has spoken to them
and have them share. “I love you.” I’m proud of you.” “I
have so many wonderful things to show you.” “I have a
plan for your life.”
Father has told me that He has created a garden for
everyone. Not a community garden (although He may have
one of those too) but a special garden for everyone. So I
tell the students that and have them ask Jesus to take them
there. Sometimes Jesus takes them other places, but most
of the time they go to their gardens.
I give them some time to spend there to see what Jesus
will do. Again the stories afterward are marvelous. By this
time some are crying softly as Jesus touches their hearts,
some are smiling broadly, and others are not moving a
muscle as if they are afraid it will all go away. The
presence of God is so strong in the place. I love His
presence and love how He heals our hearts.
I always nd a time afterward to meet with the ones who
don’t see anything. I spend time with them in a group
answering questions, talking to them, sharing how God
wants them to come be with Him even more than they
want to go. There are always a few who don’t see, but I
seek God on that because I think everyone has the capacity
to see. These students just don’t yet understand how they
see.
I want to be clear that not everyone who sees into the
third Heaven realm is a seer or prophet. The heavenly
interactions I’ve described above are available to all of us.
But just because we have these Third Heaven experiences
does not mean that we function in the o ce of the prophet,
such as people like Bob Jones, Bobby Conner, Paul Keith
Davis, or Rick Joyner. The purpose of these heavenly
experiences is to connect you to the loving-kindness of our
wonderful Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
Recently I spoke at the school of ministry at Bethel-
Atlanta, which is one of our church plants. The pastors of
Bethel-Atlanta, Steve and Lindy Hale, had been in BSSM
before they went back home to start a church. It was so
amazing. Have you ever felt God’s presence so strongly
that you just wanted to sit down and soak it all in? This
presence feels like “heavy air,” and it carries with it His
peace, love, kindness, and so much more.
We played Kimberly and Alberto’s Live Soaking Volume 1
CD and I had them play “Show Me Your Face” over and
over. When you nd a worship song that moves your
spirit, it is the perfect place to be able to enter into His
presence. Listening to worship music prepares your heart
to give worship (a kiss) to Him and to receive His kisses in
return. I led the students as I described earlier, and the
results were amazing. I love to look out and see big, manly
men with their eyes closed and tears streaming down their
cheeks. Sometimes I even see people mouth words as they
are talking to Him. I love the Lord’s presence and love to
see others come into His presence and have their hearts
touched by Him.
The Three “Heavens”
I went to a church where the pastors are good friends of
mine to do a women’s retreat. About a week later I received
an e-mail from one of the pastors asking me what she
should do in a situation she had run into. It seems that one
of the women was seeing something that may not have
been third Heaven experiences. There are three “heavens”
or “realms.” I love how Beni Johnson teaches about these
realms in her book The Happy Intercessor:

There are three “realms” that are mentioned in the Bible. The
word realm means “source” or “on each side.” The Bible
speci cally talks about the rst realm, the second realm and
the third realm. The rst realm is the realm that you can see
with you eyes. It’s the physical realm. “The n I saw a ne w
he ave n and a ne w Earth, for the rst he ave n and the rst
e arth had passe d away. Also the re was no more se a” (Rev.
21:1). So here you can see that the rst heaven is the earthly
realm, or what you can see right now. Our bodies, our homes,
and our cities exist in the earthly realm. Deuteronomy 10:14
(NKJV) says, “Inde e d he ave n and the highe st he ave ns be long
to the Lord your God, also the Earth with all that is in it.”
According to the New American Standard Exhaustive
Concordance of the Bible, the word heaven means,
“astrologers, compass, Earth, heaven, heavens, and the
highest heaven those, from the beginning, God created the
earth, the heavens, and the highest heavens.”
The second heaven, or “mid-heaven” of Revelation 14:6, “and
I saw anothe r ange l ying in mid-he ave n, having an e te rnal
gospe l to pre ach to those who live on the Earth and to e ve ry
 nation and tribe and tongue and pe ople ” (NASB version), is
the demonic and angelic realm where there is war going on
between the angelic and demonic. In Daniel the second realm
is the demonic angelic realm. That’s the realm where there is
warfare, and the negative comes out.
Then, there is the third realm. This realm is where the glory of
God is. It’s the beauty realm. The apostle Paul calls the third
heaven “paradise.” It’s where we can see the great plans of
heaven. “I know a man in Christ who 14 ye ars ago, whe the r
in the body I do not know, or whe the r out of the body, I do
not know, God knows. God knows such a one was caught up
to the third he ave n…” (2 Cor. 12:2). He continues in verse 4,
“…how he was caught up into paradise and he ard
ine xpre ssible words….”1

So you can see how experiencing the second realm or

second Heaven would not be a positive experience. It is
possible for some people to have visions of that place,
similarly to experiencing third Heaven visions. Someone I
knew who had taken LSD said about their experience, “You
see things God never meant you to see.” How prophetic for
a pre-Christian to have such insight and use such words.
When you are seeking God with all of your heart, you don’t
have to be afraid of having second Heaven visions. If you
spend time in the Word of God, you will know if what you
are experiencing lines up with what He has already said or
if it is a contradiction. Another safeguard to being deceived
by our enemy is to be rightly connected to the Body of
Christ and in right relationship with others.
Tools
I remember when I rst started learning about prophecy
during the Charismatic Renewal. At that time there was
quite a bit of controversy and numerous “words” that
de nitely were not of God, not to mention the excesses and
misuses of speaking in tongues. The gifts of the Spirit are
tools that God gives us to help us in establishing His
Kingdom. Having heavenly experiences is a tool God will
use to show us who
He really is and how He works and even gives us
strategies for establishing His Kingdom: “Your kingdom
come, Your will be done” (Matt. 6:10). Tools are meant to
be used in speci c ways. You don’t use a hammer to cut a
piece of wood in two. Obviously, if you want to cut wood
you would choose a saw for your tool. When you’re
teaching someone, you work with them to show them how
to use the correct tool in the proper way. You certainly
don’t throw the hammer away because it doesn’t cut wood.
In regard to spending time with the Lord, it is important
to understand that quantity will not always get you quality.
Now I am not saying that you shouldn’t spend a signi cant
amount of time with Him. What I am saying is that even a
little bit of time is precious to Him. Sometimes we are so
busy that we let time pass by, thinking that if we can’t
spend a lot of time, it doesn’t count.
Let me tell you a story about my boys, Jon and Danny,
and show you how breaking things into smaller increments
helps you achieve what you thought was going to be a very
huge and di cult task. When my boys were 10 and 12
years of age we lived in a home that was heated by a wood-
burning stove. One year at the beginning of summer we
had three cords of wood delivered into a huge pile in our
yard. That is a tremendous amount of logs because one
cord of wood is approximately 4 feet wide by 4 feet high
by 8 feet long.
Now their dad told them they had to take all of this wood
and stack it in the woodshed. Well, you can imagine the
complaining I heard from my sons! They said they
wouldn’t be able to play all summer because they would be
working. On and on they lamented. So I walked out into
the yard with them and told them not to worry. I wanted
each of them to just put ve pieces of wood into the shed
each morning. Their eyes got wide as they realized this
would be much easier than they had thought. Suddenly, the
task didn’t seem nearly so difficult.
The rst morning I watched them through the kitchen
window as they each picked up ve logs and stacked them.
When they came out of the shed they said they could do
more than that. So they each made a few more trips to the
woodshed. Later that day, they made a few more trips. This
went on for a week. By the end of the week, what they
thought would take all summer was nished. Simply
breaking the job down into smaller pieces did what had
seemed impossible at the beginning.
When we look at what appears to be a huge task we can
get overwhelmed. But when we break it down into smaller,
more manageable pieces we keep ourselves from getting
too discouraged to even try. Spending time with the Lord
in our busy world can seem overwhelming. For the mother
of little children who feels like she never has time to
herself, the exhausted working mother trying to meet the
obligations of work and family, and the man who has to
work several jobs to make ends meet, I want to say there is
time for you to spend with the most wonderful God ever.
Start by spending just a few minutes with Him. Close
your eyes, turn your heart’s attention to Him, and tell Him
hello! Practice. You’ll nd your time with Him
lengthening. In His presence is such peace, joy, love, and
acceptance. He does not say that because you don’t give
Him an hour, He’s
unhappy with you. Would an hour be good? Yes, but
don’t turn it into a heavy law that you have to keep. Start
with five “logs” per day.
 Endnote
1. Beni Johnson, The Happy Intercessor, (Destiny Image
Publishers, Inc, 2009), 92-93.
 CHAPTER 26

BRINGING KRYSTAL TO HEAVEN

In December of 1998 a man who had a prophetic gifting

came to speak at Bethel, and he happened to attend one of
our board meetings. Pastor Bill Johnson had asked him to
speak to the board and he prophesied over each board
member. I was taking the minutes for the meeting. Toward
the end he called me up and prophesied the following:

The Spirit of the Lord says, I have reserved for you a

catching up. And the Lord says you would be the last to think
that you could have a third Heaven experience. But you have
asked for things, said things, and the Lord says why shouldn’t
I take you up on it? Why shouldn’t I allow you, why
shouldn’t I let you?

Well, I had been praying for 30 years to have a third

Heaven experience and this man was prophesying that God
was going to answer my prayer. I was overwhelmed. The
next night I was with the Father, just like I had been so
many times before. He asked me if I wanted to go to the
third Heaven. I excitedly said yes and He took my hand
and we took off.
After just a little bit, we stopped at a beautiful garden
that looked quite familiar. I realized that this was the rst
garden I had seen in my visions, and I was a bit confused.
So I turned to the Father and said, “But I’ve been here
before.”
He said, “Yes, I know.” Then He started laughing. It was
then that I realized that somehow I wasn’t just having little
visions, but I had actually been entering the realm of the
third Heaven.
Krystal
At some point someone gave me a note and asked me to
take it to Jesus the next time I went to Heaven. I read the
note and it said, “Dear Father, I need some money. Your
loving son.” I laughed about it and put it away, not
thinking about it again. However, the next time I went to
Heaven, the Father said, “Give Me the note.” I thought,
What note? I looked down and there in my hand was the
note. So I gave it to Him and He read it. Then He threw
His head back and laughed and said, “I love him so much.
He makes Me laugh.”
That was amazing in itself, but the next week someone
gave that man $1,000. Well, the story got around and one
day my good friend Krystal came to me with a note. Krystal
had lost her only two children in a tragic car accident
several years earlier. Her note said, “Dear Father, I want to
see my boys.” I stuck the note in my purse and didn’t read
it until later that night. I was thinking it was probably just
another funny note, but after I read the note I was sobered
and saddened.
That night when I was with Jesus again, I asked Him
what I should say to Krystal. He just smiled and out of the
corner of my eye I saw movement. I looked and saw her
two boys walking up to me. This frightened me and I
began to back up, saying, “This can’t happen. I’m so sorry,
I’m doing something wrong.” I was thinking about
Deuteronomy 18:11-12 which forbids “spiritists” to call up
the dead. I knew I hadn’t called them, but I was certainly
seeing them. Then Jesus caught my arm and very gently
pulled me up to Him. The boys started telling me about
Heaven and how wonderful it was and how much fun they
were having. Then one of them took my hand and put a
gold locket in it. I glanced at it and saw that it was solid
gold with etching on the outside edge. He closed my hand
over it and said, “Give this to my mother. It’s hers.” Then
the vision was over.
I decided I would not tell Krystal what had happened
because she would be so hurt that I saw her boys without
her being able to experience it. I had no idea what the
locket was about, and I had no plans to mention it. Well,
the next day I was in my o ce and Krystal walked by. As
soon as I saw her, the Lord said, “I want you to tell her.” I
immediately said, “No way.” Didn’t He realize how much
this would hurt her? (A real “duh!” moment for me.) The
Lord asked me again, and after struggling for a bit I went in
and told her about my encounter with her boys. As you can
imagine it was a very tearful time for both of us. Krystal
asked me about the locket but gave me no further
information about it.
“Bring Her”
That afternoon the Lord said, “I want you to bring her to
Me.” What? I thought, how can I bring her to You? I don’t
know how to do that. This time He didn’t repeat the
command because He knew I had heard. So I went back to
Krystal’s office and told her what I had heard.
As we were sitting in an empty o ce, I prayed, “OK
God, how do we do this?” I took her hand and immediately
started seeing something. I asked her if she saw anything,
but she said she couldn’t. Krystal told me she wasn’t a
visual person and didn’t have dreams or visions—or even
imagine things. OK, so now what? I nally told her that I
would tell her what I was seeing. I could see us both as
little girls and I described what we were wearing and what
we looked like. Within this heavenly realm there was a
garden with beautiful owers and a weeping willow tree.
In the middle was a wrought iron table and chairs with a
tea set in the middle of the table. Jesus took her over to the
table and they had a tea party.
The next morning Krystal brought in her writing pad, a
hard-topped surface with a soft cushion underneath that
you can set on your lap to write on. Every morning she
would go up in her loft, put her writing pad on her lap,
and do her daily devotional with the Lord. On the hard top
was a picture of a garden with beautiful owers and a
weeping willow tree with a wrought iron table and chairs
with a tea set. It was exactly what I saw when I took her to
Heaven. I believe that God was really showing Krystal how
He meets her every morning in this garden of her quiet
time.
 About two weeks later she came in to the o ce to show
me something. In her hand was a gold locket with etching
around the outside. Her son had given it to her for
Christmas just seven days before he died. She had lost the
locket several months earlier, and she and her husband had
turned the house upside down looking for it. After I had
shared that her son had given me the locket, she was
cleaning out her car and noticed a lump on the driver’s side
oor mat. When she pulled the carpet up there was the
locket! She said as soon as I told her about the locket she
knew that she would find it again. God is so good!
The term that has just sort of developed for having this
experience of a heavenly vision is “going to Heaven.” Since
that time with Krystal I’ve been asked many times to lead
people into these sorts of visits with God. It may not be the
most accurate description, but around here many of us call
this process of leading another “taking someone to
Heaven.”
 CHAPTER 27

TESTIMONIES

What follows is a sampling of the many positive

testimonies I’ve received from sharing my journey and
encouraging others in these sorts of experiences. (The
following testimonies were given to me in written form
with permission to be used in this book.)
Ian Kilpatrick started a website called BeenUp2
(www.beenup2.com). It’s a wonderful way to stay
connected through pictures and little comments. Ian
Kilpatrick is a Christian and I knew his dad, a Christian
musician, years ago. Ian messaged me on BeenUp2 and
asked me about going to Heaven. I sent him a DVD that
had been lmed when I was teaching at the BSSM. After his
encounter he wrote:

It has helped me rediscover how simple God is in how He

visits us. It’s not work. This was what I needed.
I’ve had breakthrough in it and am discovering new things
about Him and how to visit regularly.

Yeah, God. That’s what I want…to connect. It isn’t work,

it is what everyone needs, and I love doing it.
One of my favorite stories comes from a woman in
Washington, who came weeping to me after her experience
to tell me what had happened. She told me that she had
followed along as I taught, prayed, and led in a “Heaven”
experience, although she did not expect anything to
happen. However, she had the most wonderful time. When
she was with Jesus, all of her clothing turned to the whitest
of whites. She spent time with Him in a beautiful dress and
her hair was so beautiful. They danced together and then
sat and talked. It seems pretty simple, but to her it was
monumental. Because of her past, she never thought she
was clean. She knew the Bible said she was, but she never
saw herself as clean. Jesus made it very evident to her that
she was washed clean as snow. After this she had a whole
new relationship with her God.
Latane’s Story
Another healing of the heart took place in a meeting in
Georgia during a prayer experience where each person is
not talking or asking God anything, just quietly soaking
and enjoying His presence. Here’s the story:

Some of us can only imagine what we will do when we see

Jesus face to face…well I know because I went to the third
Heaven. I fell at Jesus’ feet and He said, “Look at Me, my
beloved.” I felt unworthy and started
to kiss His hand that He had extended to me…and instead He
cupped my cheeks and I felt the most incredible love—that is
indescribable.
The next day I had to get back to the third Heaven. During
soaking I felt the warm touch of Jesus on my cheek again. I
knew I was in Heaven again. This time I took hold of His
hand and He was to take me to my own personal garden. I
was so excited with anticipation of what it would be like…
my own garden in Heaven. Wow, it had to have the most
extravagant colors imaginable.
So I walked with Jesus and we came to an opening. There it
was. Only it wasn’t as I had imagined. It was a dirt patch—
no owers, no waterfall. I was so confused. I turned and
asked Jesus, “Is this my garden??? Why Lord? Why a garden
of dirt? Surely you love me more than this.”
Jesus responded, “Of course I love you” and He smiled.
Then I started to recognize where I was. It was a place from
my childhood. My paternal grandmother’s yard where we
children ran and played. There was dirt, because grass could
 not grow under our constant play. I asked Jesus, “Why here?
Surely this isn’t my garden.” Jesus said, “I brought you here
because this is the last place you truly felt that your earthly
daddy loved you, and I want you to know that he loves you
just as much today. Even though you don’t feel that he loves
you, he loves you with all the love he is capable of giving.”
This hit my heart so deeply and this truth healed my deep
wounds.
Even though that garden was not the one I had imagined I
would go to, it was the most incredible garden because there
was healing in that garden. There was much reconciliation
and a renewed love relationship with my Daddy Father
during my visit to Heaven. That healing led to forgiveness
and that forgiveness led to an open heaven that invaded my
daddy’s heart and he accepted Jesus three days before he
died. “Yeah God.”

Isn’t that wonderful? A visit with God brought about a

reconciliation. It wasn’t spoken harshly or cruelly but in
gentleness. After all, God is Love and love is one of the
fruits of the Spirit. Do we think that He has told us to be
gentle and He is not? Look what she put on Facebook:

TGIF—Thank God I’m Forgiven! I may mess up…but the

Lord—He loves me beyond my mess…He loves when He says
He loves…not just when I’m good…how can I not PRAISE
HIM WITH ALL MY BEING!!!
Gisele’s Story
This testimony came from a rst-year student, Gisele,
who attends our BSSM.

It is amazing to be here at Bethel and hear story after story

of the encounters that people have had with Him. It’s a place
like no other! I was excited about going to Heaven that night
because my husband and I had a pretty rough experience
over the weekend. So I invited him along this time. He is not
a BSSM student at this time, but is in a men’s group that you
had spoken to last fall. He was really blessed and looking
forward to this evening as well. The Lord showed me that my
“love tank” was empty. This was not something I had
expected to see. The music began, and I met Jesus in my
garden at the table we usually meet at. As I sat and joined
Him, I just began to pour my heart out to Him—one thing
after another. I told Him my frustrations, hurts, and all the
things that had been happening lately. He looked at me and
listened with His undivided attention.
He then took my hand and said, “I want to show you
something.” We ran together through the garden, passing by
other things that He had shown me in the past. He never let
go of my hand, until we got to where He wanted to show me
what He had for me. It was a field full of red flowers. At first,
it looked like an endless eld of red tulips—like you would
see in a catalog. But as I looked closer, it was a eld full of
red heart flowers. He said, “This is all for you.”
Then He told me that He was the One who could ll me up. I
had been looking to others to ll up what only He could ll
up with His love. He bent over and scooped His arms full of
hearts and began throwing them at me in a playful way. I
could see them going into my “love tank” and it was
beginning to get lled up because I had come to “the Source.”
The eld was endless! He just kept scooping them up and
throwing them at me. He told me that they were all mine and
I could come anytime to get more.
It was amazing! This is what I had been missing. He has a
beautiful smile by the way! I had been feeling this
“emptiness/void inside” if you will, for maybe three plus
years now. I couldn’t figure out what it was. He revealed it to
me instantly in this time of meeting Him. He lled me up
with His love, like only He could. I had been taking care of
many family members with very serious illnesses and injuries
for almost two years. I am a nurse and was able to do this.
But I hadn’t been replenishing what I had been giving out.
But, in a moment in Heaven with Him, He gave me what I
needed and more. He showed me the place I can go anytime
to be filled up with Him. His love is endless.
Connie’s Story

My father did not approve of me as a child and even more so

as I grew up and began to have a di erent idea/relationship
with God than what my dad had. It was always tense when
the family got together, and I was always trying to earn his
approval.
One time in prayer God assured me that when my dad got to
Heaven, He would tell my dad I was really saved. That
released me to pursue God with a new freedom.
I attended one of Judy’s classes on soaking that opened up a
new avenue for me to pursue God. Then I saw one of her
DVDs on going to Heaven.
I did not have my dad in mind as I put on the music and lay
on the floor before the Lord.
As I drew closer to the Lord, I saw my dad standing on the
other side of Jesus. He was younger looking and laughing. I
understood this was the dad he had always wanted to be:
perfect, happy, and full of love for me. We did not need to
exchange words but I “knew.” It was all I needed to change
the image of an angry distant dad to the loving dad I had
always wanted.
I tell you the truth, or as Jesus said so many times, “Verily,
verily,” our Father wants to heal all our “daddy” issues. He is
not like our earthly fathers. Even it they are really good, they
are not the best, but He is.
Miles’ Story
Lest you think that adults are the only ones to encounter
Jesus in a remarkable way, let me tell you the story of a
young boy who experienced an extraordinary healing. I
was in Alabama doing some meetings and on a Saturday
night I led some people to Heaven’s gate. A nine-year-old
boy named Miles was in one of the meetings. Afterward, I
asked Miles what he had seen, and he shared with the rest
of the congregation. Sometimes I am so struck by the
anointing on young people. Miles was one of those
children who had a wonderful anointing on him from God.
The following is an account from Miles’ pastor, Les Teel:

I wanted to share with you that at the Sunday morning

service our kids were doing soaking prayer in the children’s
ministry, and one of the 9-year-old boys who was in the
conference over the weekend went to Heaven and met Jesus.
In his visitation Jesus brought him a slice of pizza and said,
“Here, I want you to eat this.” And the boy told Jesus, “Lord, I
can’t eat pizza, I’m allergic to it. You know that.” [Note here:
This boy has more allergies than anyone I know. He is highly
allergic to all dairy products, tomato sauce, citrus juices,
peanuts, seafood, e tc. His throat begins to close shut within a
minute or two of coming into contact with these foods. His
mother said she has been to the emergency room more times
over his allergic reactions than she could count. She actually
has to carry an Epi (epinephrine) pen with her everywhere
they go. Needless to say he had a very boring diet.] Then
Jesus told him, “If you will trust Me and eat this piece of
pizza, I will heal you of all your allergies.” So the boy took
the pizza from Jesus and ate it. Then his visitation was over.
After church was over he told his mother about his visitation
with Jesus at Sunday school that morning. He told her that
Jesus would heal him of his allergies if he would eat the piece
of pizza He gave him. And here is what really blows my
mind. The mother decided to honor her son’s testimony of the
visitation of the Lord in her child’s life. That afternoon she
gave him a bowl of sherbet ice cream that had milk and
citrus juices in it (two of the big no-no’s). He ate it and never
showed any signs of an allergic reaction.
Can you say “Big Yeah God! Big Praise to Jesus!”? I am
astounded at the faith of both the mother and the child. It
took great courage for her to feed her son something that had
nearly killed him many times before. I’m glad she did not call
me and ask me for counsel about what to do before she did
this or I might have messed it up for them. Thank God! And
who would have thought that Jesus would give a boy a piece
of pizza in a heavenly visitation that would cure him of his
food allergies?
I called Judy and asked her if she had ever had anyone get
physically healed from a heavenly visitation with the Lord
like what happened with this boy and she said, “No, not until
now.” So God is good all the time and He never ceases to
amaze us with what He is going to do next. And so Judy has
helped to bring us into a new dimension of healing we have
never seen before. We are overwhelmed.
Jeff’s Story
God healed Miles while he was having a heavenly
experience. Wow! Could it be that God would do that
again? Je was a wonderful person who attended our
church and was a personal friend of Bill Johnson. He had
cancer and people were going over to pray for him every
day. Je is with the Lord now. He is one of those strong
soldiers who seemingly lost the battle with the enemy, but
the enemy didn’t win, Jeff did.
His wife, Shelly, wrote a letter to a friend with Je ’s
testimony from this time. Recently she asked if I would like
to read it. I have to say that it was hard to read through the
tears streaming down my face. At the time I didn’t know
the e ect this experience had on Je or his family, so this
letter touched me deeply. I asked Shelly if I could include
it in my book. I have lightly edited the following letter.

Dear Zac,
Bill was sending over healing teams and various leaders to
come every single day, a few hours a day. I’d never heard of
Judy’s “gift” until she showed up, with a few others, at our
house. She told us that Bill wanted her to escort Je to
Heaven (and come back, of course…they kidded about that
☺) and ask the Father and or Jesus what was going on. Je
was very upfront with her and the team and told them that
he is, by nature and by profession, a highly critical-
thinker/cynical/logical person. He told them that, though he
didn’t doubt Judy’s experience, he knew too much about
hypnotherapy to not be able to let himself “go.” (Je used to
do relaxation workshops for prison inmates…he had a heart
for that population, and juvenile delinquents, and children…
oh, and he really loved the old folks.) He told them that he
would be willing to go along with it, but that he would tell
them if he thought he was conjuring it up himself. “Fair
enough,” said Judy. Judy asked if I wanted to go along, and I
said I’d rather observe so I could relay it back to Je later.
Actually, a deep part of me was slightly skeptical, and I was
pretty sure that Jeff was too analytical to have this “work.”
Judy began by praying with Je and the others, and then
asked Je to close his eyes. She did what was very
reminiscent of guided imagery, that therapists and
psychologists use for hypnosis and relaxation, so I thought,
Uh oh, this is not going to y. She spoke in a very low and
slow voice, describing nding oneself in Heaven…Je kept
interrupting, and saying, “Sorry Judy, but I think I’m forcing
myself to imagine what you are saying.” Judy, so serene,
would say, “That’s OK, Je , don’t worry about it…just
picture yourself in the heavenlies.” Je must have stopped
her at least half a dozen times… I was getting tense, because I
thought this was going to be a “bust” and disappointing for
all. Zac, another thing, Je was never the type to “act.” He
hated pantomime games or anything of a pretend nature…I
need to preface this next part by clarifying that.
After a time, maybe 15, 20 minutes…maybe even a half hour,
something changed. I could see it on Je ’s face. He looked so
happy, and he looked as though he was seeing something.
One of Judy’s people said quietly, “Do you see the bench in
the garden?” The look on Je ’s face told it all. He nodded his
head to the side, as if to say “yes, and how did you know?”…
kinda like “Gotcha.” Judy told Je to go over to the bench
and sit down. I could tell that Je was not here, but there.
The feeling of the Holy Spirit was so powerful in the room,
and I wanted to remember everything…goose bumps were on
top of goose bumps. Je said, “OK, I’m sitting on the bench
in the garden” and he had the most beautiful smile on his
face. Judy said, “Do you see Jesus?” (I was holding my
breath.) Je paused, as though savoring something
delicious…. and he smiled, and tears began to form in his
closed eyes…“Yes, He is here with me.” Again. Holy Spirit was
intoxicatingly overwhelming in the room. I then realized that
all those people, with Je , could see what Je was seeing.
They saw the bench and the garden, and Jesus. I began to
wish I’d gone, too, but I really wanted to be a good reporter
for Jeff when he came back.
Judy said, “Jeff, ask Jesus about your cancer.” Jeff said aloud,
“Jesus, tell me about this cancer.” Je ’s face looked troubled,
and he frowned…what he said gave me a start. “I have a
giant hook in my heart. It is a hook that has been with me
since I was a little boy, when I was heartbroken.” (I knew
what that was…Je ’s parents divorced when he was a baby,
his mother married the proverbial wicked stepfather, and his
mother would not intervene when he was cruel. His real
father abandoned him.) Tears were running down Je ’s face,
and mine. Judy said, “Ask Jesus to remove the hook.” Je
waited awhile, with various expressions crossing his face.
Finally, Je said that Jesus had cut o the end and pulled it
out. Je said, “I have hooks all over me.” Judy said, “Ask
Jesus to remove them all.” Je ’s face was glowing during the
moments it took to remove the hooks.
Then, someone, I can’t remember if it was Judy or one of the
 others, said, “Does Jesus have something for you?” Again, Je
nodded his head in acknowledgment that they knew what he
knew…Je smiled, and said, “Why yes, Jesus is holding a
present.” Someone said, “Open it…it’s for you!” Now, here is
where I absolutely knew that Je could not be just going
along with this…I had to look twice, as Je was going
through the motions of untying a ribbon, and lifting a lid o
what seemed to be a small square box (by the way he
handled it). Je gave a small short surprised laugh…. We all
asked, “What is it?” I was sure it would be a gem or
something precious. Je said “A giant marshmallow. Jesus
said that He is like this marshmallow…. sweet and soft and
good.” (Zac…Je has 2 favorite foods…popcorn and
marshmallows.)
Je took his time staying with Jesus, and nally, Judy led
him back. (I can’t remember how she did that, and I think at
the end, I was on the fringe of being there.) From that
moment on, Je displayed an absolutely dramatic change in
his person…pure love, like I’d never known him to be. The
kids and I were stunned. It was instant…something about
having been in Heaven with Jesus, and having his hooks cut
out, did something.

Je is with Jesus now and can gaze upon His beauty

every moment. He is also now a part of a group called the
“great cloud of witnesses” cheering us on (see Heb. 12:1).
God is so good. That is such an understatement, for there
are no words that can accurately portray how wonderfully
good He is.
Praise the Lord!
Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good;
For His loving-kindness is everlasting” (Psalm 106:1).
Lizzie’s Story
I received another testimony about a mom who began to
take her severely autistic son to Heaven at about the age of
six years. The mom had been praying for years for her son,
Jordan, and the Lord had been giving her speci c prayer
directives. At one point the Lord told her to bring her son
to Heaven. The rst time Jordan described a shimmering
light cloud that came and enveloped him, and the second
time he saw stars and planets and a place with beautiful
trees. It became a part of his nighttime routine. So just
before bed she would take him to Heaven and have him
describe what he saw.
One night the Lord told her to take Jordan to His throne
room. In the throne room he saw the Father sitting in a
rocking chair. So she told him to go run and sit in the
Father’s lap. He did, and as he was held in the Father arms,
He began to hum a song over Jordan, telling him, “I love
you, I love you.” Jordan began to describe what looked like
green X-rays coming toward him, which seemed to come
from the Father’s mouth. Green represents new life and new
beginnings.
From that time on, Jordan has been making remarkable
process. He’s become more talkative, interacts with people,
and is also able to maintain eye contact. His mom states, “If
the key to healing autism is to take children to Heaven
where the Father can release the song over them, then we
have to get them there.”
 CHAPTER 28

LETTING GO AND LETTING GOD

By Beni Johnson

Many people reading this book can identify with Judy’s

life and say, “Yes, that’s me.” And some reading this may
not be able to identify at all. But I’m here to tell you that
we all need an encounter with the Father. I love to know
that the broken will be free and will be able to sit with the
Father and let Him love them and restore them through
heavenly encounters. But I’m also glad that all may come.
You can see while reading this book that Judy does have
a unique gift. Being able to help a person into an encounter
with our Father is awesome.
It is our cry deep within all of us to love and have
connection with God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.
Many years ago I had an experience where I connected to
the Trinity. I’ve never been the same since. What I learned
is that God desires for us to have heavenly encounters with
Him. And, it’s not a once-in-a-lifetime event. There is a
saying that I used to hear, “That person is so heavenly
minded, she is no earthly good.” I want to tell you that is
not true. The saying should really be, “They are so
heavenly minded they are so earthly good.” I know that’s
bad grammar, but you get my point.
God has so much to teach us and have us learn, and one
of the ways He does this is through heavenly encounters
with Him.
Judy and I were doing a women’s conference in Georgia
one time, and it was Judy’s turn to teach in one of the
sessions. She had told me she was going to share about her
life and then lead everyone in having a heavenly encounter.
I was so excited. I had previously experienced my own
encounter but had not ever been in on hearing Judy lead
people. I decided that I was not going to just sit and
observe but was going to jump right in and get all that I
could get. At the end of her sharing, she asked everyone
who could to lie on the oor and get comfortable. Then she
had us close our eyes and picture Jesus coming toward us. I
immediately saw Jesus (my sancti ed imagination is really
alive and active). Judy then told us to see if He was saying
anything to us. He told me that He loved me, and after that
I don’t remember what Judy said because I was caught up
into Heaven.

Paul said:
I know a man in Christ who fourte e n ye ars ago—whe the r in
the body I do not know, or whe the r out of the body I do not
know, God knows—such a one was caught up to the third
he ave n (2 Corinthians 12:2 NKJV).

I looked down at my clothes and I was wearing a

beautiful, full-length, white cotton dress. I looked up at
Jesus and He picked me up, turned around, and started
walking toward a cottage. Before we got to the cottage, He
put me down. I immediately knew that this was my
cottage. The feeling that I was having during this time was
joy. There was so much happiness. I was also feeling that
this was the end of all time. All the generations were in
Heaven. Eternity had started. As I was staring at this
beautiful little English cottage with an English garden to
my left and a grassy area to the right, I heard children
coming around from the back of the cottage on the grassy
lawn. The rst child I saw was our oldest grandchild,
Kennedy. When she saw me, she screamed to the other
grandchildren, “Grandma is here now. We can play,” and
off she ran with the others.
All the time this was going on, I was crying. Really, that
is too mild of a word. I was bawling my eyes out. Not out
of sadness but out of sheer joy and happiness. I am a feeler,
so feeling things is really important to me and I connect
with that. Isn’t it awesome that Father meets you right
where it fits for you?
Anyway, I then turned to my right and looked in back of
me and saw my fraternal grandmother, and she had many
children with her. My dad’s mom had been a Christian as
long as I had known her. She had taught Sunday school for
many years. She was an amazing woman. The day that my
grandma retired from teaching Sunday school, she was up
on the platform at church, and the leaders were honoring
her for all the years she had helped out. As she was
standing there on the stage being honored by the leaders
and her church family, she collapsed from a stroke. Five
days after that, she went to be with Jesus.
When I saw her in Heaven with all those children, it
thrilled me. I realized that what she was doing for God here
on earth is what she was doing in Heaven. She loved the
children, and she was now loving them in Heaven too.
Then I looked again to my left side and saw my maternal
grandmother. My mother’s mom had been a pastor’s wife
for many years. But in those days she did not receive the
honor that is given now to pastors and their wives. She
became very bitter toward the church and my grandfather.
She divorced my grandfather and lived for years in her
bitterness, which eventually a ected her physical body. But
there were good times with Granny, and one thing I
remember about her was her laugh. She was a big woman,
and when she got tickled about something, she would
throw her head back and open her month and laugh so loud
you could see her tonsils. It made me so happy to see her
happy. In this encounter, when I saw her she threw her
head back and opened her month and let out a laugh that
made me smile. God had erased all the hurts and she was
Granny again.
I then turned my attention back to the cottage, and as I
did, Bill’s dad walked past me and stopped and looked at
me. He said, “You are good for Bill.” That’s all he said and
it was enough.
During the entire encounter I couldn’t quite put my head
around the feeling I was having. It felt familiar to me, but I
couldn’t gure it out. I just lay there on the oor resting in
it, and then it hit me: this is peace. But what was di erent
about this peace is that it was perfect peace. Perfect peace.
Never had I felt so much peace before and so much
perfection in it. It completely undid me. I didn’t want to
leave this feeling. There was no noise in my head. You
know the kind I’m talking about—the kind that distracts
you and makes you think too much. The war in my head
was gone! I was lying in perfect peace. I did not want to
leave. I knew that if I left this place, that peace would go
away.
Then I heard Judy say, “OK, we will stop now.” Inside of
me, I was screaming, “No, no, no, I don’t want to leave this
place!” Of course we know that we do have to come back
and live our lives. But isn’t it wonderful that we are
impacted by those times with the Trinity and we walk
di erently and talk di erently from that point on? While I
was coming to, I remembered something my husband had
recently taught. He had said that when God invites you into
His vineyard and gives you a gift, it is always yours. You
can have it whenever you want. That day I took the gift of
peace, and I know that peace is my portion all the time.
My head still gets in the way, but I’m working on that.
I have had the privilege to teach on heavenly encounters
and have had people share their experiences afterward. I
taught on this at a workshop in one of the youth
conferences that we were having at the church. When I was
done teaching, I told the participants that we were going to
soak in God’s presence and that many of them in the room
would have heavenly experiences. When we were nished,
I asked them if any would like to share what happened to
them. One youth raised his hand and told us that when he
was three, his parents died and that when he was soaking,
he was taken up into Heaven and he saw his mom and dad.
Another story came from a youth pastor in the room. He
was taken to the beginning of time when God was creating
the world. In the sound of God speaking, he saw those
things He spoke come into being. He said it was so
amazing to see all the colors and things being created.
Many times we will see people healed in their encounters
with God. One woman told us that God loved on her and
brought some deliverance while she was in her encounter.
Then when she got up o the oor, she was completely
healed physically.
At this point, I would like to bring caution. When having
encounters with the Lord, we don’t want to boss Him
around. I remember hearing someone sharing about her
experience and how she was telling God to do this and that.
Something just didn’t feel right about bossing God around.
Another thing is that we are not having this experience to
conjure up dead
people or angels. That would be necromancy, which is
conjuring up the dead. It is a form of sorcery.
In First Samuel 28:1-15 (NKJV), we see what happened
to Saul when he tried that:

Now it happe ne d in those days that the Philistine s gathe re d

the ir armie s toge the r for war, to ght with Israe l. And Achish
said to David, “You assure dly know that you will go out with
me to battle , you and your me n.”
And David said to Achish, “Sure ly you know what your
se rvant can do.” And Achish said to David, “The re fore I will
make you one of my chie f guardians fore ve r.” Now Samue l
had die d, and all Israe l had lame nte d for him and burie d him
in Ramah, in his own city. And Saul had put the me diums and
the spiritists out of the land.
The n the Philistine s gathe re d toge the r, and came and
e ncampe d at Shune m. So Saul gathe re d all Israe l toge the r,
and the y e ncampe d at Gilboa.
Whe n Saul saw the army of the Philistine s, he was afraid,
and his he art tre mble d gre atly. And whe n Saul inquire d of
the Lord, the Lord did not answe r him, e ithe r by dre ams or by
Urim or by the prophe ts.
The n Saul said to his se rvants, “Find me a woman who is a
me dium, that I may go to he r and inquire of he r.” And his
se rvants said to him, “In fact, the re is a woman who is a
me dium at En Dor.”
So Saul disguise d himse lf and put on othe r clothe s, and he
we nt, and two me n with him; and the y came to the woman by
night. And he said, “Ple ase conduct a séance for me , and
bring up for me the one I shall name to you.”
The n the woman said to him, “Look, you know what Saul has
done , how he has cut o the me diums and the spiritists from
the land. Why the n do you lay a snare for my life , to cause
me to die ?”
And Saul swore to he r by the Lord, saying, “As the Lord live s,
no punishme nt shall come upon you for this thing.”
The n the woman said, “Whom shall I bring up for you?” And
he said, “Bring up Samue l for me .”
Whe n the woman saw Samue l, she crie d out with a loud
 voice . And the woman spoke to Saul, saying, “Why have you
de ce ive d me ? For you are Saul!”
And the king said to he r, “Do not be afraid. What did you
se e ?” And the woman said to Saul, “I saw a spirit asce nding
out of the e arth.”
So he said to he r, “What is his form?” And she said, “An old
man is coming up, and he is cove re d with a mantle .” And
Saul pe rce ive d that it was Samue l, and he stoope d with his
face to the ground and bowe d down.
Now Samue l said to Saul, “Why have you disturbe d me by
bringing me up?”

The result was literally deadly for Saul and for his sons
as well. Samuel told him in verse 19 that Israel would be
handed over to the Philistines and that the next day he and
his sons would die. This is nothing to mess with and
something that God seems to feel pretty strongly about.
Several years after Bill’s dad died, one of the women in
our church was standing around before the service started
one Sunday, and she was looking at the back door of the
church watching the people come in. She did a double take
because she saw Bill’s dad walk in and walk around the
room. She was not expecting that at all and was, to say the
least, shocked. I think that when we least expect it, God
splits the wall between the visible and the invisible, and we
can have a peak at what is going on in the heavenly realm.
We should have no interest in making things like this
happen. When they do, it’s an exciting time, but we need
to be careful not to cross that line and go astray.
 One of my favorite stories in the Bible about this subject
of heavenly encounters is that of John the beloved. In
Revelation 4:1-3 (NKJV), John tells of his vision:

Afte r the se things I looke d, and be hold, a door standing ope n

in he ave n. And the rst voice which I he ard was like a
trumpe t spe aking with me , saying, “Come up he re , and I will
show you things which must take place afte r this.”
Imme diate ly I was in the Spirit; and be hold, a throne se t in
he ave n, and One sat on the throne . And He who sat the re
was like a jaspe r and a sardius stone in appe arance ; and
the re was a rainbow around the throne , in appe arance like
an e me rald.

This was one of many encounters that John had. After

reading John’s encounters, we can see that it is God’s
intention to take us into His realm to uncover His glorious
mysteries.
So many of us have been crying out for more of Heaven
to come to earth. I believe that God is answering our
prayers and lifting that veil and letting us experience Him.
The place between the invisible and the visible is
becoming, as St. Patrick said, “thin.”
As we pray, “Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done on
earth as it is in Heaven,” know that He is answering our
prayers because He loves us with an everlasting love. He
wants all men and women and children to experience this
love and be changed into His likeness.
 CONCLUSION

At di erent times I have wondered if the visions would

end, but they have continued. However, the visions are
di erent and the lessons are harder for me to learn. I am
finding that I have to stay in one place longer to understand
the lesson God is teaching me. I have learned of God’s
delight in our di erent personalities, how we all have a
di erent tone and song of our own. I have also learned how
we are to recognize the presence of the Father, Son, and
Holy Spirit at all times, and how to live above the forest. I
have even jumped into a pool of brightness—and I’m
wearing it like an ice cream cone dipped in chocolate
coating.
I want you to know that my prayer for you is:

That He would grant you, according to the riche s of His glory,

to be stre ngthe ne d with powe r through His Holy Spirit in the
inne r man, so that Christ may dwe ll in your he arts through
faith; and that you, be ing roote d and grounde d in love , may
be able to compre he nd with all the saints what is the bre adth
and le ngth and he ight and de pth, and to know the love of
Christ which passe s knowle dge , that you may be lle d up to
all the fullne ss of God (Ephesians 3:16-19).
AUTHOR CONTACT INFORMATION

Judy’s email contact for speaking:

[email protected]

Beni’s email contact for speaking:

[email protected]

Bethel Church
933 College View Drive
Redding, CA 96003
www.ibethel.org
 AUTHOR’S BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS

The Happy Intercessor

by Beni Johnson

Dreaming With God

by Bill Johnson

Discovering the Seer in You: Exploring Your Prophetic Gifts

by James Goll

The Supernatural Ways of Royalty: Discovering Your Right

and Privileges of Being a Son or Daughter of God by Kris
Vallotton and Bill Johnson