Marriage Enrichment Retreat 1 - Participants Manual

MARRIAGE ENRICHMENT RETREAT I
PARTICIPANTS MANUAL
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WHAT MARRIAGE ENRICHMENT RETREAT (MER) IS
OBJECTIVE:
Marriage Enrichment Retreat (MER) is a two day weekend activity for couples to discover
more intimately the meaning of marriage vocation within the context of God’s plan. The
weekend retreat provides time to listen to Christian talks, for couple discussion and most
especially prayer and meditation.
STRUCTURE, DYNAMICS AND ELEMENTS:

1. PRAYER
Being a retreat, the schedule provides adequate time for both common and personal
prayer. The retreat is structured in such a way that every activity is centered on
Christ. Prayer is an effective way of Discovering God’s call with faith and humility.
2. TALKS
The retreat provides a series of seven (7) talks focused on examining important
areas of Christian marriage and family life. The talks will not only present teachings
from the Bible, but practical guidelines will be provided by Couples speakers.
3. COUPLE DISCUSSION
After each talk is presented, the husband and wife will meet exclusively with one
another to discuss and pray about specific aspects of their marriage and family life
they need to work on.
4. ACTION PLANNING
Towards the end of the retreat, the husband and wife will meet exclusively with one
another to discuss and pray about specific aspects of their marriage and family life
they need to work on.
5. FELLOWSHIP
As part of enhancing the relationship of participating couples and promoting

wholesome and healthy entertainment, the retreat provides couples time for
interaction as well as program where all couples take part actively.
6. EUCHARISTIC CELEBRATION
To climax the weekend retreat on Sunday, a Holy Mass is celebrated. During the
mass, couples renew their marriage vows and offer to God their action plans.
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TEN TIPS FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE ENRICHMENT RETREAT
1. Follow house rules and regulations of venue. Follow retreat schedule.
2. Listen attentively and take down notes during the talk. It can facilitate couple
discussion.
3. Win win attitude vs. win lose attitude.
4. Problem solving approach vs. fault finding/blaming approach.
5. Exercise active listening (during the talk and couple discussion)
6. Openness and sincerity to one another.
7. Be realistic in your expectations during the whole weekend retreat.
8. Have a prayerful attitude during the whole weekend retreat.
9. Be humble and meek and help when needed.
10. Formulate action plans during the retreat.
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FIRST TALK : SERVING GOD THROUGH CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE
God’s plan is to save all mankind through Christ and be part of the new creation (John 3:16;
Romans 21:1-8). His plans requires a response from us: to accept it and base our lives
completely on His plan. God’s call for our whole-hearted participation. He wants us to serve
Him. There are many things we can do to serve Him, but the most important service God
calls us married couples to do is to build strong Christian marriage families. Everything
else that we do to serve God springs from this primary service.
PERSONAL NOTES ON TALK:
DISCUSSION STARTERS:
1. In what ways have we failed to see the important role our marriage has in the work of
the Lord?
2. What can we do to make our marriage more “sold out” for the Lord?
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SECOND TALK : THE CHRISTIAN COUPLE AS A PASTORAL TOOL
God’s basic intention is for man and woman to come together to become one. Out of the
openness springs forth new life. A family issues forth. The family needs care and
nourishment for the family, their responsibility extends from the temporal care to the
spiritual: husband and wife operating like a “pastoral team”. They have roles that are
different from each but complementary.
PERSONAL NOTES ON THE TALK:
DISCUSSION STARTER:
1. How does the set of relationships described in the talk actually operate in our family?
2. What difficulties do we encounter in exercising our roles?
3. What changes and improvements do we need to make?
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THIRD TALK : THE ROLE OF A CHRISTIAN HUSBAND
The husband’s role is to take overall responsibility for the family. He governs, protects,
provides and leads. This talk discusses what “taking responsibility: for the family entails in
the concrete. It explains and clarifies in greater detail some of the principles presented in
the previous talk regard-ing the husband’s role.
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FOURTH TALK : THE ROLE OF A CHRISTIAN WIFE
God’s intent for a woman is to be a helpmate for the man. The purpose is to complement
one another so that full unity be achieved. Given social pressures, the task of being
helpmate is indeed a tremendous challenge.
DISCUSSION STARTER:
1. For the Husband:
How am I discharging my responsibilities as a husband in the areas mentioned? How can I

get more help and support from other Christian husband?
2. For the wife
How am I living out my role as a helper to my husband? How can I get more help and
support from other Christian wives?
3. For both:
Express to each in what areas one promises to improve and ask your spouse’s help in
fulfilling your resolutions:
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FIFTH TALK : EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IN MARRIAGE
Relationship improves with good, effective communication. This talk discusses how this
principle works in a Christian marriage. It presents communication as an expression of love
relationship. It also brings out some of the common obstacles to good communication
between husband and wife and offers practical advice on handling disagreements and
improvements in communication.
1. What obstacles do I put in the way of good communication?
2. What are the areas that need changes and improvements in our communication?
3. Express your repentance to one another.
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SIXTH TALK : HEALING OUR MARRIAGES
Many of us by the time we get married may have already experienced hurt or suffering
from scars of traumas or painful memories from the past. Unconsciously, we carry them
into our marriages and they could become obstacles to positive and open relationship.
Jesus wants our relationship restored and healed. If we believe that it is love, then it is easy
for us to believe that healing is an ordinary not extraordinary sign of his compassion and
love.
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SEVENTH TALK : BUILDING OUR HOMES FOR GOD
This talk discusses how our homes can be out at the service and Lordship of Christ. This
talk explores different ways in homes towards the Christian ideal.
PERSONAL NOTES ON THE TALK :
1. What do we have to develop and/or give as a practice in order to make our home a truly
Christian home?
2. What steps shall we take in order to improve the situation in our home?
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ACTION PLANNING
(To facilitate formulation of your plans, please refer to your previous discussion)
1. How can we, as husband and wife, work together more as pastoral team?
2. Make two resolutions on how you can be more responsible as Christian husband?
3. Make two resolutions on how you can be a better helpmate as a Christian wife.
4. Make two points of agreement on how to communicate effectively as Husband and Wife
(excluding dialogue one to one weekly)
5. Make two resolutions on how you can make your home a real home for Christ.
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RENEWAL OF MARRIAGE VOWS
I, (state your name) take you (name of husband/wife) to be
my husband/wife. I promise to be true to you in good times
and in bad, in sickness and in health, I will love you and honor
you all the days of my life, to have and to hold as my lawful
husband/wife from this day forward until death do us part.
I make these promises with all my heart joining to them my
gratitude to God for the blessings with which He promises
to sustain our life together, and my gratitude to you (name
of husband/wife) for the affection and the faithfulness which
you have vowed to give me as my beloved husband/wife.
12 | P a g e

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MARRIAGE ENRICHMENT RETREAT I

STRUCTURE, DYNAMICS AND ELEMENTS:

As part of enhancing the relationship of participating couples and promoting

1. Follow house rules and regulations of venue. Follow retreat schedule.

3. Win win attitude vs. win lose attitude.

4. Problem solving approach vs. fault finding/blaming approach.

5. Exercise active listening (during the talk and couple discussion)

6. Openness and sincerity to one another.

7. Be realistic in your expectations during the whole weekend retreat.

8. Have a prayerful attitude during the whole weekend retreat.

9. Be humble and meek and help when needed.

10. Formulate action plans during the retreat.

PERSONAL NOTES ON TALK:

PERSONAL NOTES ON THE TALK:

2. What difficulties do we encounter in exercising our roles?

3. What changes and improvements do we need to make?

PERSONAL NOTES ON THE TALK:

PERSONAL NOTES ON THE TALK:

1. For the Husband:

How am I discharging my responsibilities as a husband in the areas mentioned? How can I

2. For the wife

PERSONAL NOTES ON THE TALK:

1. What obstacles do I put in the way of good communication?

3. Express your repentance to one another.

PERSONAL NOTES ON THE TALK:

PERSONAL NOTES ON THE TALK :

I, (state your name) take you (name of husband/wife) to be

my husband/wife. I promise to be true to you in good times

you all the days of my life, to have and to hold as my lawful

husband/wife from this day forward until death do us part.

I make these promises with all my heart joining to them my

gratitude to God for the blessings with which He promises

to sustain our life together, and my gratitude to you (name

of husband/wife) for the affection and the faithfulness which

you have vowed to give me as my beloved husband/wife.

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