IGNOU Block-3

I~I Indire Gandhi National Open University
VI National Centre for Disability Studies MCFT-001

Human Development
and Family Relationships
FAMILY LIFE CYCLE STAGES - I 3

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"Education is a liberating force, and in our age

it is also a democratizing force, cutting across
the barriers of caste and class, smoothing out
inequalities imposed by birth and other
circumstances"
- Indira Gandhi
Indira Gandhi
MCFT-OOl
~(p)
. National Open University
National Centre for Disability Studies
Human Development
and Family
Relationships
Block
3
FAMILY LIFE CYCLE STAGES - I
UNIT 10
Family Life Cycle 5
UNIT 11
Marriage and the Beginning Family 19
UNIT 12
Child Bearing Families 38
UNIT 13
Families with Preschool Children 67
EXPERT COMMITTEE
Prof. V.N. Rajasekharan Pillai (Chairperson)
Vice Chancellor,
IGNOU, New Delhi
Prof. Girishwar Misra Prof. Mathew Verghese Prof. Manju Mehta

Department of Psychology, Head, Family Psychiatry Centre, Department of Psychiatry,
University of Delhi, New Delhi NIMHANS, Bangalore AJIMS, New Delhi
Prof. Shagufa Kapadia Prof. Reeta Sonawat Prof Ahalya Raghuram

Head, Department of Human Head, Department of Human Department of Mental Health and
Development and Family Studies, Development, SNDT Women's Social Psychology, NIMHANS,
M.S. University of Baroda, University, Mumbai Bangalore
Vadodara
•
Dr. Rajesh Sagar Prof. Aruna Broota Prof Anisha Shah
Associate Professor, Department of Psychology, Department of Mental Health and
Deptt. of Psychiatry, All MS, Delhi University of Delhi, Social Psychology, NIMHANS,
& Secretary, Central Mental Health New Delhi Bangalore
Authority ofIndia, Delhi
Prof. Rajni Dhingra Prof T.B. Singh Prof Sudha Chikkara

Head, Department of Human Head, Department of Clinical Department of Human
Development, Psychology,IHBAS, New Delhi Development and Family Studies,
Jammu University, Jammu CCS HAU, Hisar
Prof. Minhotti Phukan Mrs. Vandana Thappar Dr. Indu Kaura

Head, Deptt. ofHDFS, Deputy Director (Child Secretary, Indian Association for
Assam Agricultural University, Development), NIPCCD, Family Therapy, New Delhi
Assam New Delhi
Dr. Jayanti Dutta Ms. Reena Nath Dr. Rekha Sharma Sen
Reader, Department ofHDCS, Practising Family Therapist, Reader, School of Continuing
Lady Irwin College, Delhi New Delhi Education, IGNOU, New Delhi
Prof. Vibha J oshi Prof. c.R.K. Murthy Mr. Sangmeshwar Rao

School of Education, STRIDE, Producer, EMPC, IGNOU
IGNOU, New Delhi IGNOU, New Delhi New Delhi
Dr. Neerja Chadha Dr. Amiteshwar Ratra

(Programme Coordinator) (Convenor & Programme
Reader, Coordinator)
School of Continuing Education, Research Officer, NCDS
IGNOU, New Delhi IGNOU, New Delhi
Acknowledgment:
We acknowledge our thanks to Prof Omprakash Mishra, PVC, IGNOU; Prof. c.G. Naidu, Former Director (lIc)
P&DD and Head, Nodal Unit; and Dr. Hemlata, Director (lIc), NCDS for facilitating the development of the
programme of study.
PROGRAMME COORDINATORS - M.Se. (CFT) / PGDCFT

Dr. Amiteshwar Ratra Dr. Neerja Chad ha
Research Officer, Reader,
NCDS, IGNOU, New Delhi SOCE, IGNOU, New Delhi
COURSE COORDINATORS
Dr. Amiteshwar Ratra Dr. Neerja Chadha
Research Officer, Reader,
NCDS, IGNOU, New Delhi SOCE, IGNOU, New Delhi
COURSE WRITERS
UnitlO& 11 Ms. Swati Joshi, Programme Officer, M.S. Univesity of Baroda, Vadodara
Unit 12 Ms. Nupur Bhumbuck, Child Development Expert, New Delhi
Unit 13 Prof. Shanti Balda, CCS HAU, Hisar
&
Dr. Krishna Duhan, CCS HAU, Hisar
Acknowledgment:
We acknowledge with gratitude, the innumerable people who have generously contributed the
photographs of themselves, and their near and dear ones.
COURSE EDITORS
Prof. Girishwar Misra Prof. Shagufa Kapadia
Department of Psychology, Head, Department ofHDFS,
University of Delhi, New Delhi M.S. University of Baroda, Vadodara, Gujarat
(Blocks 1, 2, 3 & 4) (Block 5)
Dr. Neerja Chadha Dr. Amiteshwar Ratra

Reader, Research Officer,
SOCE, IGNOU, New DeUli NCDS, IGNOU, New Delhi
(All Blocks) (All Blocks)
Concept for art work ~ cover design: Dr. Neerja Chadha, Dr. Amiteshwar Ratra & Dr. NavitaAbrol.
Preparation of art work and cover design: Mls Tamal Basu.
PRODUCTION
Shri B.Natarajan Shri Jitender Sethi Shri Sunil Kumar
D.R.(P), MPDD A.R.(P), MPDD S.O.(P), MPDD
IGNOU, New Delhi JGNOU, New Delhi IGNOU, New Delhi
March, 2010
@ fndira Gandhi National Open University, 2010
ISBN: 978-81-2664591-6
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other means, without permission in writing from the Indira Gandhi National Open University,
New Delhi.
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BLOCK 3 FAMILY LIFE CYCLE STAGES - I
In the previous Block we learned about the theoretical approaches to family, various
family forms and family dynamics. In Block 'Family life Cycles
Stages - l' , as the name suggests, we deal with the different this life cycle stages.
This Block will help you in uftderstanding the importance and uniqueness of each
family life cycle stage. This Block consists of five Units.
Unit 10, entitled "Family Life Cycle" describes the various stages of family life
cycle. The first part of this Unit defines the term family life cycle and acquaints you
with the eight life cycle stages. The Unit elucidats the importance of understanding
the family life cycle .
•
Further, the Unit explains, the salient features of each stage in family life cycle. For
successful understanding of family life cycle development, it is very important that
one understands the importance of every family member. This Unit helps in
understanding the importance of respecting individual differences in familial
relationships.
Unit 11 is "Marriages and the Beginning Family" which describes the beginning
family stage in India. The Unit deals with the concept of marriage in India. Further,
it explains the roles and responsibilities of a newly wed couple. Marriage requires
lots of adjustments. The various domains of adjustments are explained in this Unit.
In this Unit, we will discuss the challenges and emerging issues that come across
while beginning a family. In the later part of this Unit we will study how a family
from a beginning family stage transits to the next stage, that is the child bearing
stage.
Unit 12 is named as "Child Bearing Families". It deals with the second stage
of the family life cycle. In starting of this Unit we will discuss the family and its
functions. We will discover how the face of family is changing with change in time.
The child bearing stage starts with the decision of conceiving the first child. We will
discuss some important factors that affect the decision of bearing a child in India.
Further.we will study the changing trends in the age at which the first child is born.
These are number of factors that lead to postponement of child bearing, like personal
influences, family influences and societal influences. The Unit also explains the new
role of father, mother and other members of extended family and community. The
birth of a child not only brings the joy and happiness but it also gives rise to some
stressors which are discussed in this Unit. At the end of this Unit, the role of
education, women's empowerment and media on child bearing stage is described.
Unit 13 is "Families with Preschool Children" which describes the third stage
of family life cycle. In the beginning of this Unit the importance of children in a family
are explained. The development tasks of different stages of family life cycle will also
be discussed. The Unit also explains the different types of parenting techniques and
the outcomes. The important domains of adjustment in families with preschool
children are explained in this Unit. The Unit will help you in understanding emerging
issues and challenges for families with preschool children. It will also acquaint you
with some important disciplinary techniques for toddlers and preschool children.
UNIT 10 FAMILY LIFE CYCLE
Structure
10.1 Introduction
10.2 What is Family Life Cycle?
10.3 Family Life Cycle Stages
10.4 Importance of Understanding the Family Life Cycle
10.5 . Salient Features of each Stage in a Family Life Cycle
10.6 Acknowledging and Respecting Individual Differences
10.7 Let Us Sum Up
10.8 Glossary
10.9 Answers to Check Your Progress Exercises
10.10 Unit End Questions
10.11 Further Readings and References
10.1 INTRODUCTIO,N
In the previous Block, you read a lot about the institution of family, its different
forms and structures, family dynamics and theories related to families.
Regardless of the fact that the family is considered the basic institutional
element of the society, the experiences, issues and feelings it encompasses are
personal and private concerns for most people. A large majority of people
grow up in families and gain firsthand familial experiences. It is true that
family patterns, structure and functions have changed dramatically, but their
persistence, adaptability and importance to individuals are most remarkable
and noteworthy even today.
In this particular Unit, you will study about the meaning, importance and
significance of family life cycle. You will be briefly oriented to the different
stages of family life cycle and some common characteristics of each stage of
family life cycle. You will acquire an elaborate understanding of each stage of
family life cycle in the following Units of this Block as well as the next Block.
At the end of this Unit, you will recognise the importance of acknowledging
and respecting individual differences of family members for families to be
able to positively face the issues and conflicts of each stage.,
Objectives
After studying this Unit, you will be able to:
• Understand the meaning of family life cycle;
• Develop familiarity with all the stages of family life cycle;
• Recognise the importance of studying the family life cycle;
• Know the salient features across family life cycle; and
• Understand the importance of respecting individual differences in familial
relationships.
5
Family Life Cycle Stages - I
10.2 WHAT IS FAMILY LIFE CYCLE?
Knock on any family door and what will you find within? Can you ever know
exactly what that particular family is like? You know that every family is
different in one way or the other. According to Duvall, generally if you know
three things about a family you can predict with somewhat reliability that what
is going on within that faili.ily:
• Where a family is in time in its life cycle, within an era of social change,
and in a given season, day and hour.
• Who lives in the family?
• How the family rates in the community as seen in its social status.
If you know these three things, you can tell even before you meet the family
• that what the important elements to look for are and what forces you may find
in action. Families have a developmental history which is marked by periods
of dynamic action and relative calm. These periods of action and calmness are
.. experienced by all families across the world within a day, week and season .
Each family grows through the years in its own particular way. Just as the
individual is born, grows, develops, matures, ages and undergoes the successive
changes and development from conception to death in her or his own way,
each family lives out its life cycle in its own unique fashion. So, what then
is the meaning of the term family life cycle?
The family life cycle is the fundamental concept in understanding how families
change over time. The family life cycle can be divided into stages that are
conceptually distinct and that typically occur in a given sequence (Aldous,
1978 in Duvall & Miller, 1985). There is a predictability about family
development that helps you know what to expect of any family at any given
stage, regardless of who are its members or where it is located. The family life
cycle, as a frame of reference, is a way of taking a long look at family life.
It is based upon the recognition of the successive patterns within the continuity
of the family living over the years. It opens the way for study of the particular
problems and potentials, rewards and hazards, vulnerabilities and strengths of
each phase of family experience from beginning to end (Duvall, 1985).
In each stage, one faces challenges in one's family life that cause one to
develop or gain new skills. Developing these skills helps the individual work
through the changes that nearly most families go through.
Check Your Progress Exercise 1
Note: a) Read the following questions carefully and answer in the space
provided below.
b) Check your answers with those provided at the end of this Unit.
1) What is family- life cycle?
2) List the three things that will help you fairly predict about what is going
on within a family.
6
Family Life Cycle
10.3 FAMILY LIFE CYCLE STAGES
The family life cycle may be divided into few or many stages on the basis of
several factors. We can broadly divide the family cycle into two stages:
1) The expanding family: This stage includes inception of the family to the
time its children are born. 1<
2) The contracting family: During this stage children are being launched
by the family into lives of their own and' in which the family contract ,
through the later years with one or both of the original pair still at home.
For a purpose of definite and specific study of family or its members the above
two stages are very broad in nature.
Duvall has recognised eight stages of family life cycle. These are:
1) The beginning families, that is, the married or cohabiting couple without
children, '
Fig. 10.1: The Beginning family

2) Child bearing families,
3) Families with preschool children,

4) Families with school going children,
5) Families with teenagers,
6) Families as launching centres,
7) Families in the middle years, and

8) Aging families.
A typical Indian family begins with marriage. Marriage forms an early

establishment of family for the newly married couple who might stay alone or
with other family members. Do you recall reading about the family structure
7
Family Life Cycle Stages - I in the Unit on 'Diversity in Family Forms'? The family in the beginning stage
develops fast with the coming of the first child and the married couple now
playing the role as father and mother. The family continues to expand as
successive children are born and parents continue to play additional roles.
Each addition to the family brings along with it a need for reorganisation of
various aspects of family living, new sets of roles and responsibilities, new
domains of adjustments, and newer issues and challenges to be dealt with. As
children grow older, so do their parents. Change is a constant factor in the life
cycle of every family. Everything changes, such as the needs, desires, hopes,
expectations as well as responses to the demands and pressures of growing
children. As time passes the relationship of children with their parents, siblings
and other relatives too change. Families mature and grow along with children.
The families which once upon a time expanded to accommodate the needs and
requirements of growing children, contract later to launch the children as
• young adults. The active and bustling long years of the family which ran at
hectic pace now slow down and give way to slow moving long years when the
middle aged and aging parents face the later half of their marriage together as
.. a pair or with married children who may also have become parents. The later
years of life come with new opportunities and problems.
In the following Units, in this Block and the next Block, you will study in
detail about the different stages of family life cycle. But before you study each
life cycle stage of family in depth, it is very essential to know why we need
to understand the family life cycle.

provided below.
1) List the two broad stages of family life cycle with a brief explanation
of each.
2) List the eight stages of family life cycle given by Duvall.
8
Family Life Cycle
10.4 IMPORTANCE OF UNDERSTANDING THE
FAMILY LIFE CYCLE
Every family does not pass through the stages of family life cycle smoothly.
Situations such as severe illness, financial problems and crisis, death of a
loved one and failure can have an effect on how well ~ family passes through
the stages. Further, research studies indicate that husbands and wives are
influenced in very different ways by stage of family life cycle experiences.
It is also important to note that all families do not move through the family
life cycle in the same way. Each family grows through the years in its unique
and particular way. Rich or poor, large or small, living in the city or village,
class, caste, nuclear or joint all families have different experiences. The stages
discussed earlier are what the majority of families experience. But the life
experiences of some individuals do not follow the family life cycle mentioned
• earlier. There are people who may never marry. They may continue to live
with their family of orientation or may live alone. There may be couples who
cohabitate but do not form families of procreation. Some couples voluntarily
or involuntarily never bear or rear children and some may choose to adopt.
Some family may be grieving the loss or death of the child. Some people may
marry earlier or later or bear children earlier or later or over a longer period
of time. A family might have a child(ren) with special needs which may alter
the family's needs and characteristics to a great extent. Read the vignettes
given below:
Pranav and Nandini were formally engaged but had no plans to get married
for the next five years. Their priority was career. They were extremely intimate
with each other. Pranav had to go abroad for an important project for a
period of one year. Two months later Nandini discovered that she was pregnant.
It was not possible for Pranav to come back to India in a short time. She
delivered the baby. When they got married after a year they were already
parents. For this couple the beginning family started with the presence of a
child.
Ashok's wife died in an accident leaving behind their two school going children.
It was difficult for Ashok to manage business and rear children single handedly.
He was compelled to marry again. He got married to Priti who was divorced
with a young child. For Ashok and Priti the beginning family involved so
many complexities of relationships, roles and adjustments.
One must also take into account the different forms of families such as those
formed through divorce and remarriage, single' parent families, step-families,
migrant families and dual-earner families. Alternative lifestyle like same sex
marriages, homosexual pairs, group marriages, communes and other family
like households also need to be considered. Domestic violence and mental
disorders of a family member have complex set of issues associated with it.
You have read earlier that the challenges you face at each stage help you to
develop and gain new skills. Mastering the skills and milestones of each stage
is important to successfully move to the next stage. Successful transitioning
may help prevent disease and emotional or stress related disorders. Not being
able to master the skills does not mean that the family will be stagnant at one
9
Family Life Cycle Stages - I stage. The family will still move on to the next phase but its members are
more likely to have difficulty with relationships and future transitions. The
missed skills can be learnt and improved at any stage to improve the quality
of family life.
Whether you are a parent or child, husband or wife or live-in partner, brother
or sister, or you are bonded by love or blood or contract, your experiences
through the family life cycle will affect who you are and who you become.
The more you understand the challenges of each stage, the more likely you are
to successfully move on. Further, understanding the family life cycle is useful
for counsellors, family therapists, doctors, nurses, home economists, teachers,
social workers and other professionals and paraprofessionals who work with
families; as well as for parents and family members for whom life cycle
• management is relevant.
Knowing where a family is in its life cycle makes it possible to anticipate a

number of vital factors.
Being cyclical by definition, the family life cycle and each of the stages within
it has no beginning and no end. No matter where you start to study the family
life cycle, there are always relevant roots in the near and distant past that must
be considered!

provided below.
1) Give four reasons as to why it is important to understand a family
life cycle.
10.5 SALIENT FEATURES OF EACH STAGE IN A

FAMILY LIFE CYCLE
You must have understood by now that all stages of family life cycle are very
different from each other and yet closely connected. We will now discuss
some features which are common to each stage. All stages of family life cycle
have the following features in order to successfully transit to the next stage.
• Roles and responsibilities of each family member: Roles refer to

behavioural expectations of individuals at any given time. Members of
the family are expected to play certain specific roles based on socially
shared expectations. In most cases roles are guided by the culture and
10
society in which the family lives. Every family member is faced with a Family Life Cycle
different set of roles and responsibilities as the family progresses '"in the
family life cycle. In daily life, family members make efforts to conform
with the roles that they are expected to play ' .. /'
Fig. 10.2: Every member of the family has a specific role to play, as mothers are expected
to play the role of the primary caregiver for the infant
• Domains of adjustment: Domains of adjustment are the areas where a family

needs to make adjustments for the wellbeing of its members. Adjustments may
be big Of small, frequent or rare. Each stage of a family life cycle brings along
different domains of adjustment.
• Challenges and emerging issues: Each of the roles, responsibilities and

domains of adjustment involved in establishing a marital Of .any other
familial relationship has challenges and issues that must be met successfully
if the family is to develop and grow satisfactorily. Success in performing
one's roles, responsibilities and working towards adjustments in different
domains does not come suddenly but must be achieved if the family
intends to find happiness together.
Fig.1O.3: Extended family members play a role in caregiving

11
FamUyLife eyrie S~es • I • Transitioning to the next stage: While you attempt to understand the process
of transition from one stage to another in a family life cycle, in the following
Units, you should keep in mind that transition from one stage to another is not
like a water tight compartment. Overlapping of stages is bound to occur for
most families. For example, in families with more than one child there will be
several years of stage overlapping. Thus while a family may be seeing it's first
born into school, a Younger sibling may arrive into a preschool family rather
than a childbearing family (in which the first child arrived). A family does not
transit abruptly from one stage to another but does so smoothly.

provided below .
• b) Check your answers with those provided at the end of this Unit.
1) Which are the four features common across all stages in the entire
family life cycle and why?
10.6 ACKNOWLEDGING AND RESPECTING

INDIVIDUAL DIFFERENCES
For a successful understanding of family life cycle development, it is very
important that one understands the uniqueness of every family member and
respects it. All family members are individual persons with individual
differences. In various familial relationships like husband and wife, brother
and sister, children and parents, in-laws and other relatives; each one brings
along different recipes of life, with different ingredients. What do you think,
are the ingredients? Let us find out the individual differences that exist among
individuals and families.
1) Values: A value is an assumption upon which an implementation can be

extrapolated. A value system is a set of consistent values and measures.
A principle value is a foundation upon which other values and measures
of integrity are based. A value is always important to the person who
holds it. It is desirable and satisfying. Values are subjective and vary
across people and cultures. Personal values evolve from circumstances
and interactions with the external world and can change over time. The
sources of values are family, society, religion, culture, education, political
party ••mass media, historical environment etc. Each individual possesses
a unique conception of values. Values are related to the norms of a culture,
but they are more general and abstract than norms. Norms are rules for
behaviour in specific situations, while values identify what should be
judged as good or bad.
12
For example, hoisting the national flag on Independence Day is a norm but it Family Life Cycle
reflects the value of patriotism. Do you think that, any analysis for family
therapy or counselling can be undertaken without considering the role of value
systems of the individuals concerned?
2) Attitudes: Attitudes are composed of feelings, emotions and convictions that

come from heredity, environment, experience and present purpose. Attitudes
are hypothetical constructs that represent an individual's likes or dislikes for an
item. They are thoughts or behaviour patterns formed by past and present
experience and form a conscious set of readiness of the mind to react to
objects and situations in a given way. Values are governing factors and play
a role in determining attitudes. Attitudes change more readily than values.
Attitudes are positive, negative or neutral towards a person, behaviour or
event. At times individuals experience ambivalence in attitudes. Attitudes are
• composed from various forms of judgement. After failed marriage an individual
may feel that all marriages are failing. This reflects negative attitude towards the
institution of marriage.
3) Standards: Standards are a set of measures of values, stemming from our

value patterns. Standards determine the amount and kind of interest we
have in something and the satisfaction we receive in doing things. Standards
serve as a measure or criteria for measurement of objects, ways of doing
things and ways of living. They are what individuals and families accept
as adequate and consider it worthy in working towards achieving them.
For example, an individual may believe that possessing a post graduate
degree is a must or owning a car is very important for an adequate
standard of living.
4) Goals: A goals is an objective condition or something one strives to attain

or achieve at any given point. Goals can be short term, intermediate or
long term. Values and goals are closely interlinked. Values produce goals
and become the foundation for achieving them. A person having high
regard for education may have a long term goal to become an academician
or a professor.
5) Beliefs: A belief is a statement, assertion or theory of what you accept as

true. It becomes your basis for deciding, choosing and acting. Beliefs vary
considerably from one person to another. It is possible that, you might
have other values and believe something else. A form of an unfounded
belief is an 'assumption'. Assumptions are unchallenged, unquestioned,
unexamined and very often untrue. Every individual approaches a new
idea, information, rumour, proposal or explanation with a pre-assumption.
The pre-assumption can range from a very unlikely, dismissive and
skeptical stance to a very likely and accepting stance. For example, a
mother-in-law is always a problem creator or a daughter-in-law is too
modem to adjust in family.'
6) Expectations: Expectations are mental constructs. It is looking forward

to or anticipating something. Expectations may be realistic or unrealistic.
Expectations are closely related to values, standards, goals, beliefs, attitudes
etc. Sometimes the clash of expectations causes problems in a marital
relationship especially if they are unvoiced. Consider this:
13
Reshma has a postgraduate degree in life sciences and has high value for
education. Due to difficulty in finding a suitable match she had to marry
a man with much less education than ha Influenced by the contemporary
conception of husband-wife relationship she had no issues with her
hushand being less educated. She aspired to pursue her career after
marriage and looked forward to a supporting husband. Whereas the
husband still though; of a wife as playing the same role as his mother did
in relation to his father. A typical traditional homemaker who would greet
him with a smile and a cup of tea when he comes home.
Do you think that the two could live in relative harmony with each other?
7) Habits: Habits are automatic routines of behaviour that are repeated

regularly without thinking. They are learned behaviours and occur
automatically without the explicit intention of the person. An individual
• may not be paying attention to or be conscious or aware of the behaviour .
When the behaviour is brought to the person's attention, she or he may
be able to control it only if there is an intention to do so.
8) Skills: A' skill is the learnt capacity or talent to carry out tasks with
minimum time, energy or both. Skills can often be divided into domain
general and domain specific skills. For example, in the domain of work
some general skills would include time management, teamwork, leadership,
and self motivation. On the other hand, domain specific skills would be
useful only for a certain job.
9) Gender identity: Gender identity refers to an individual's persistent

unambiguous definition of self as either female or male; how one feels
about self as female or male. It is a person's own sense of identification
as male or female; one's concept of self as feminine or masculine.
Well, what is your opinion after reading an exhaustive list of ingredients? Do

you think that if a husband and wife blend these all together they will happily
enjoy the outcome all their life? Think about it!
Each spouse may begin the marital relationship with widely discrepant frames
of reference with regard to the above factors you just read. The impact would
be felt on every aspect of their day-to-day interactions like decision making
process, patterns of communication, role performance, conflict resolution etc.
Dissatisfaction in the relationship does not begin when there is a difference in
personal factors but begins if the personal factors are unvoiced, implicit and
not negotiated. With arranged marriages being a predominant pattern for most
couples in India there may be very little opportunities for the partners to
identify similarities and differences in their personal factors prior to marriage.
This does not imply that the couples who select partners by self choice do not
face this problem.
These factors may become a major source of conflict in the marital relationship
subsequently. Initially it may appear that there are minor disagreements and
arguments but the individual's position hardens with the passing of time and
it increases conflicts between the couple. Thus while giving therapy or when
counselling such couples you must undertake a careful analysis which needs
to go beyond the superficial conflict areas and try to identify the discrepancies,
14 especially the values. You must help the couple and individuals in families
understand the differences and make their values explicit. Once the differences are Family Life Cycle
acknowledged it will help the couple either negotiate ways of narrowing down their
differences or simply agreeing to remain different. Differences need to be respected
mutually. An awareness of the differences itself creates conditions for change to
occur.

Note: a) Read the following questions carefully and ans~er in the space provided
below.
Explain the following terms in brief: '.
1) Values
2) Attitudes
................................................................................ ~ : .
3) Genderidentity
10.7 LET US SUM UP

ill this Unit, you studied about the meaning of family life cycle which is a fundamental
concept in understanding families and change. It is very important to understand the
family life cycle because it opens the way for study of the particular problems and
potentials, rewards and hazards, vulnerabilities and strengths of each phase of
family experience from beginning to end. Each family grows through the years in its
own unique way. Every family develops through a family life cycle in which it
becomes established with the marriage of the husband and wife. It enters into child
15
Family Life Cycle Stages - I bearing and child rearing with the coming of children, and becomes an arena of
interacting family members as children grow up and in time launches the children
into lives of their own. The middle-aged and aging couple lives through their remaining
years in homes where they may live alone, with married children, their grandchildren
and other relatives wherein they continue to remain a part of the family cycle. You
got an orientation regarding the four salient features or rather common aspects
which each stage of family life cycle will pass through. The last section of this
Unit dealt with acknowledging and respecting individual differences of members
in a family. You have to keep this fact in mind throughout your learning
process in the context of counselling and family therapy.
10.8 GLOSSARY
Cyclical Recurring, repeated
,. Dynamic Energetic, vibrant
Explicit Open, clear
Milestones Landmark, target
Predominant Main, chief
Vulnerabilities Weakness, helplessness
10.9 ANSWERS TO CHECK YOUR PROGRESS

EXERCISES
1) The family life cycle is the fundamental concept in understanding how

families change over time. The family life cycle can be divided into
stages that are conceptually distinct and that typically occur in a given
sequence. The family life cycle, as a frame of reference, is a way of taking
a long look at family life.
2) The three things that will help us fairly predict about what is going on
within a family are:
• Where a family is in time in its life cycle, within an era of social

change, and in a given season, day and hour.
• Who lives in the family?
• How the family rates in the community as seen in its social status.

1) The two broad stages of family life cycle are:
• The expanding family: It begins with marriage and lasts till the time
its children are born.
• The contracting family: In this stage the children of the family are
being launched by the family into lives of their own and in the mean
time the family contracts. through the later years with one or both of
the original parental pair still at home.
16
2) The eight stages of family life cycle given by Duvall are: Family Life Cycle
• The beginning families,

• Child bearing families,
• Families with preschool children,
• Families with school going children,
" Families with teenagers,
• Families as launching centres,
• Families in the middle years, and
• Aging families.
1) Following are the reasons that underlie the importance of studying the family
life cycle:
• Family life cycle will affect who you are and who you become.
• Each stage has challenges and issues which if dealt positively will help an
individual move on to the next stage successfully.
• Understanding the family life cycle is a useful tool in training all those
people who are involved in working with families either directly or indirectly.
• Knowing where a family is in its life cycle makes it possible to anticipate
a number of vital factors.

,
1) The four features which are common across the family life cycle are:
• Roles and responsibilities of each family member,
• Domains of adjustment,
• Challenges and emerging issues, and
• Transitioning to the next stage.
The above four features are said to be common across the family life cycle
because all stages are characterised by these features, and these have to be
reckoned with at each stage as families progress through the cycle. In every
stage the family members will have certain roles and responsibilities to perform
and some domains which will call for adjustments. There would be new set of
challenges and issues at every point of time. Each family will witness a time of
transition into next stage.
1) A value is an assumption upon which an implementation can be extrapolated.

A value is always important to the person who holds it. It is desirable and
satisfying. Values are subjective and vary across people and cultures. Personal
values evolve from circumstances and interactions with the external world and
can change over time.
17
Family Life Cycle Stages - I 2) Attitudes are composite of feelings, emotions and convictions that come
from heredity, environment, experience and present purpose. Attitudes are
hypothetical constructs that represent an individual's like or dislike for an
item. Attitudes change more readily than values.
3) Gender identity is an individual's persistent unambiguous definition of

self as either femalesor male; how one feels about self as female or male;
the concept of self as feminine or masculine.
10.10 UNIT END QUESTIONS

1) Explain the meaning offarni1y life cycle with a brief highlight about each stage.
2) Discuss the significance of studying the family life cycle .

•
3) Think about the families you know and try to place them in the family life cycle
stages which you have just studied. Make an effort to think about the family
members in the context of the roles and responsibilities, domains of adjustment,
challenges and emerging issues and the process of transition to the next stage.
Elaborate and discuss your findings.
4) Write short note on salient features of each stage of family life cycle.
10.11 FURTHER READINGS AND REFERENCES

Ahuja, R. (1993). Indian Social System. New Delhi: Rawat Publications.
Aldous, 1978 as cited in Duvall, E. M., & Miller, B. C. (1985). Marriage and
Family Development. New York: Harper & Row Publishers.
Bhatti, R. S. (2003). Enhancing Marital and Family Relationships: A model.

The Indian Journal of Social Work, 64,151-158
Duvall, E. M. (1962). Family Development (2nd edition). J.B. Lippincott

Company.
Duvall, E. M., & Miller, B. C. (1985). Marriage and Family Development

New York: Harper & Row Publishers.
Kapadia, K. M. (1958). Marriage and Family in India. India: Oxford University

Press.
Patel, T. (2005) (Ed). The Family in India: Structure and Practice. Themes in
Indian Sociology '(6). New Delhi: Sage Publications.
18
UNIT 11 MARRIAGE AND THE BEGINNING
FAMILY
Structure
11.1 ~
Introduction
1.
11.2 Marriage and the Beginning Family
11.2.1 The Concept of Marriage in India
11.2.2 Preparing to Marry
11.2.3 Self in Marriage
11.3 Roles and Responsibilities

• 11.4 Domains of Adjustment
11.4.1 Occurrence of Marital Coalition
11.4.2 Residence of Marriage Partners
.. 11.4.3 Intergenerational Relationships and Relatives
11.4.4 Mutually Satisfying Sexual Relationships
11.4.5 Communication
11.4.6 Friends, Community and Religious Organisations
11.4.7 Power
11.4.8 Finances
11.5 Challenges and Emerging Issues
11.6 Transitioning to the Next Stage of Family Life Cycle
11.7 Let Us Sum Up
11.8 Glossary
11.1 INTRODUCTION
From the previous Unit, you know that a family passes through various stages in
its life cycle. You also read about all the stages in brief. This particular Unit will
focus on the first stage of family life cycle that is 'marriage and the beginning family' .
You have also read about the Grihastha ashram - the beginning of family life cycle
stage in India. This Unit will also throw light upon the concept of marriage in India
and the various aspects related to marriage that are preparing to marry and importance
of understanding one's self. As you proceed further in this Unit you willleam about
the roles and responsibilities, domains of adjustment, challenges and emerging issues
of the marriage and beginning family stage. The last section of this Unit talks about
how a family in the beginning stage transits to the next stage that is, the child bearing
stage and discusses certain issues associated with it.
19
Family Life Cycle Stages - I Objectives
After studying this Unit, you will be able to
• Describe the beginning family stage in India;
• Understand the concept of marriage in India;
• Recognise the roles anq responsibilities in the beginning stage of family
life; and
• Understand the domains of adjustment and challenges of the beginning
family in India.
11.2 MARRIAGE AND THE BEGINNING FAMILY
• The establishment phase or the beginning stage of the family life cycle begins at
marriage and continues until child bearing time. In India, marriage marks the beginning
of family in most cases. Among couples marrying for the first time, marriage
represents the critical transition from being single adults to becoming a married pair.
For the remarried, the transition is from an earlier conjugal relationship ended by
death or divorce to one with a new partner in a new marriage. This also applies
to couples who decide to cohabitate.
The normal custom in Indian society is that the husband and wife begin their married
life not in an independent household but with the husband's parents. In the Western
society such a living arrangement is considered as an emergency or temporary
arrangement. The couple set up an independent household of their own as soon as
possible. But you know that the Indian family is very different especially in structure.
So, whenever you study Indian families you should always keep in mind the residence
of members, dependence on each other and the kin relationship that is, the dynamics
of family in the beginning stage would differ if a family is independent or dependent
(in structure, function, property etc.) or if it is a traditional family with large number
of kins living together.
In the previous Block, you have studied that the jointness of families in India
is not disappearing and disintegrating but is changing into nuclear families.
Studies of the urban families in India (for example, Ross, 1961; I.P. Desai, 1964;
Gore, 1968; Vatuk, 1972; Ramu, 1977; Rao & Rao, 1982, Srivastava, 1986)
focus on the continuity of some of the characteristics of the traditional joint family
in the context of modernisation. You also studied that in a nuclear family where
only the husband, wife and their unmarried children live; they will continue to be
'joint' with their primary kin like father or brother in terms of 'functioning'. Thus
due to various factors the Indian family has mainly changed in 'structure' and
interpersonal relationships.
Keeping the above facts in mind let us proceed to understand further a beginning
family stage in India. But before we talk about the domains of roles and
relationships and other dynamics in the beginning family stage, it is important for
you to understand the concept of marriage in India. It is essential to understand
the concept of marriage because in India most families enter the beginning stage
in the family life cycle at the occurrence of marriage. So, let us see what a
marriage means in India.
20
11.2.1 The Concept of Marriage in India Marriage and the
Beginning Family
In India marriage is considered as social duty towards family and the community.
It is an alliance between two families more than between two individuals. Therefore
individuals in marriage need to accommodate and adapt to new situations as well
as new families. This is more true for the woman who has to make lot of
adjustments. She enters the family of procreation with preordained, stereotype
role and behaviours in most cases. ~
Marriage being a social system is largely influenced by its institutional norms.

These norms develop in the context of the religious, ethnic and community's
norms and are further influenced by social changes and marital laws. Within this "
setting, marital dyads vary in their extent of adjustment to marriage.
Marriage is an enduring relationship between an adult male and an adult female

based on religio-socio-legal sanctions. It is one of the most important stages of
the life cycle. Marriage is like any other living system. A good marriage in India
is the most rewarding experience life can offer to an individual (Bhatti, 2003).
A marriage guarantees sustained satisfaction of vital human needs both - physical

and psychological.
Being a counsellor or family therapist you should keep in mind the difference
of the nature of contemporary marriages from conventional marriages in India.
Conventional marriages were primarily meant for fulfilling one's duty,
procreation and sexual satisfaction. It was more of a filial relationship. The
present day marriages are more consensual in nature. A holistic approach is
very essential as a marital relationship cannot be treated as a unit outside the
system of family and community.
11.2.2 Preparing to Marry

In the natural course to life most individuals are reared and prepared to go in for
marriage. There is hardly any objective training to begin marital life for the majority
of Indian population. Culturally most Indians are conditioned and socialised to get
into marital bliss (Bhatti, 2003).
In order to retain the institutional norms of family structure and practices, selection
in marriage was arranged and controlled by families. The concept of arranged
marriages seems to cross all caste lines, regional boundaries and language barriers
in India (Rao & Rao, 1982 in Ahuja, 1993). This left little scope for the individual
involvement in the selection process of her or his marriage. The joint family structure
laid great emphasis on the fitness and adjustability of the bride not only to her
husband, but to the whole family. In this cultutal milieu most individuals came to
believe that their life partner is pre-destined, their fate is pre-ordained, they are
helpless as far as choice is concerned and they must succumb to the celestial forces
of the universe (Gupta, 1976 in Ahuja, 1993). Socialisation of most girls in India
places an enormous importance adjusting successfully into the family of procreation
by maintaining a harmonious relationship with the husband and his family members.
It is expected that an individual particularly the female, make constant efforts to
cultivate the marital relationship as well as other relationships in the family of
procreation and the associated kin group.
21
Family Life Cycle Stages - I It is essential to clearly interact with the family members regarding one's expectation
for the marriage partner. If an individual has already decided upon the spouse (self
choice or arranged marriage) one should be verbal about one's expectations out of
the relationship and not be secretive about it. Healthy interaction is the key to any
problem one is faced with.
The institution of marriage today is definitely affected from modem day changes and
globalisation. There are an increasing number of inter-caste, inter-religious, self
choice and cross-cultural marriages which in turn create subtle issues of adjustment,
adaptation and communication. The young generation today has greater opportunities
(television, intemet, mobile phones) for better exposure to meet other people and
develop intimate friendship which may eventually take the shape of marriage.
Readiness for marriage is a major factor for preparing to marry. Age is an important
factor which plays an important role in the readiness for marriage .
•
More and more people expect their marriage to be happy and emotionally supportive.
Marital happiness needs to be cultivated and does not occur overnight with the
.
, tying of the knot. Crisis, conflict and disharmony creep in all aspects of life and
marriage and beginning family is not an exception. The marital relationship should
be entered with an attitude of long-term commitment with one's partner. Marriage
is not something which is temporary and which will lapse at the slightest of
inconvenience felt by either of the individuals within the marital relationship. When
two different individuals begin a life together difficulties and problems may occur.
But these problems should be dealt with through cooperation and patience, with the
primary intention of staying in the system of marriage and not to get out of it. At
the same time it is extremely unrealistic for couples to expect that life after marriage
is going to be like heaven. Ideas like husbands and wives are each other's best
friends; marriage is an equal partnership, children are essential for marital happiness,
may remain dreams all your life if you don't work for it. For you to expect less
stress and conflict and anticipate joys of greater freedom, it is also important that
your expectations out of marriage be practical and realistic.
THE DIFFERENT MEANINGS OF MARRIAGE

Have you ever given a thought to what is marriage? What does being married
mean to you? Well, you will be surprised to know that marriage has a different
meaning in different religions. Let us together understand the different meanings
and sociological significance attached to marriage:
• Hinduism: Marriage, being mainly performed for dharma and not for
pleasure is considered a sacramental bond among Hindus.
Fig. 11.1: Hindu wedding

22
Marriage and the
• Islam: Muslim marriage is called nikah. Unlike the xacrarnental marriage
Beginning ,Family
of the Hindus, a Muslim marriage is considered to be a civil contract.
Fig.11.2: Muslim wedding

..
• Christianity: In Christian religion, it is believed that marriage takes place
because of the will of God, and that marriage creates not only biological
relations but also mental and religious unions between the partners.
Fig. 11.3: Christian wedding
• Sikhism: The Sikh marriage is not merely a physical and legal contract,
but is a holy union between two souls where physically they appear
as two individuals but in fact are united as one. The Sikh marriage
ceremony is known as Anand Karaj meaning blissful union.
Fig. 11.4: Sikh wedding
23
• Jainism: For the Jains, marriage means a public declaration of a man and
a woman's intention to be together for the entire life. Jainism regards
marriage as more or less a worldly affair.
• Buddhism: In Buddhism marriage is considered as personal and

individual concern and not as a religious duty. Buddhism does not compel
a person to be married and also does not force an individual to remain
unmarried.
• Zoroastrianism: In Zoroastrianism a marriage is a sacred union of two

souls competing with each other in the ideal practice of self
abnegation.
A study by Yarhouse and Nowacki (2007) reviewed five major religions of the
world (Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Hinduism and Buddhism) and found that
•
there are number of meanings associated with marriage that vary from religion
to religion.
Marriage in India, in all religions have various rituals which involve all family
members and are according to the kin relationship. Below we discuss two such
marital rituals of Hindus in Tamil Nadu.
Sapthapathi
The bride's sari 'palla' and the groom's 'angavastram' (shawl) are tied in
a knot and the couple holds hands. The groom places his foot under the
bride's and helps her to take the seven steps around the fire. Then he
places the bride's foot on a grinding stone near the fire and slips silver
rings or 'metti' on her toes.
Fig.ll.S: Saptbapatbi
24
Marriage and the
Kashi Yatra Beginning Family
Dressed in the traditional 'panchakatcham', holding an umbrella, a fan, a walking

stick, and a towel containing 'dal' (lentils) and rice tied to his shoulder, the
groom embarks on a mock pilgrimage. As he steps out of the 'mandapam', the
bride's father pleads with him not to got to 'Kashi' (a sacred pilgrimage site
in the city of Benaras) and marry his daughter instead. After much ado the
groom accepts and returns to the 'mandappam' to get married!
Fig.ll.6: Kashi Yatra
11.2.3 Self in Marriage

You must have experienced or heard people asking "What qualities do you aspire
in your marriage partner?" Surprisingly most individuals have an imaginary list of
qualities to seek in a marriage partner. Finding the "right" marriage partner is not
the most significant factor in achieving a successful marriage but becoming the 'right'
partner is! And the first step in becoming a competent marriage partner is to learn
as much as possible about your own self. Learning about self is an important and
continuous process but it should begin before choosing a marriage partner. Do you
remember reading in the previous Unit that there are individual differences? Then
you must also remember that individual differences need to be respected.

provided below.
Fill in the blanks:
1) The establishment phase or the beginning stage of the family life cycle
begins at and continues until. .
25
2) Culturally most Indians are conditioned and socialised to
get into .
3) The institution of marriage today is definitely affected from modem day

changes and .
11.3 ROLES AND RESPONSIBILITIES

Traditionally a husband was expected to play the role of a 'bread winner' or the
head of the family and the role of the wife was that of a 'homemaker' who was
responsible for bearing and rearing of children. A study conducted by Ramu
(1988) shows that there is considerable agreement among the couples on role
expectations. Both spouses generally agree on the husband's provider role (to
• provide economic resources for the family's wellbeing) and the wife's conjugal
obligations are to be caring, loving, loyal and a good and affectionate mother; in
short, to be a homemaker. Today, options are greater for both partners within
marriage. Opportunities for flexibility in education, work and family life are
. .
mcreasmg.
Couples in the beginning family stage must develop patterns of daily living that
satisfy both of them and other members of the family. The societal controls of
traditional roles are weakening and there are wider options for flexibility in
roles. In order to select the most appropriate role and to respond appropriately
to the role played by the other partner one needs to make many adjustments.
This requires energy. This energy can only be regained when the other partner
responds adequately to the role. Role complementarity is essential for marital
equilibrium especially when one is establishing a family. Marriage and family life
benefits from flexible marital roles. For example, a husband may do the cooking
or cleaning while the wife is studying for a degree or a wife may seek
employment not only to financially support her husband or family but for her
self fulfillment.
Responsibilities are allocated to the husband and wife which are much in line with
the roles, each one is supposed to play or is playing. At times roles and responsibilities
of the husband and wife and other family members complement each other and at
times they result in conflicts.
Sometimes time, talent, interest and marital power determines who does what and
who allocates responsibilities. For example, a man who is temporarily unemployed
may do housework while his wife is away on the job. But another man cannot see
himself doing household work under any circumstances because he may believe it's
a "woman's work". Even if the wife or mother is unwell, away or overloaded with
work. One woman may have the power to hire a cook or domestic help but
another woman will play multiple roles.
Responsibilities should be reciprocal in nature. When one member assumes a

particular task as her or his responsibility it frees the other from it. This does
not mean that one partner does everything and the other does nothing. Also, a
satisfactory performance of responsibilities needs acknowledgment and
rewards. For example, "What a delicious dinner!" "Congratulations for a
promotion. You deserved it!" It is important to establish acceptable patterns of
26
roles and responsibilities in the early phase of marriage for an enduring and Marriage and the
Beginning Family
long-lasting relationship.

provided below.
~
1) List some essential qualities of roles and responsibilities during the
beginning stage of family life cycle.
11.4 DOMAINS OF ADJUSTMENT

When two families join through marriage there occurs a new family system.
Inter-mixing of two families, norms, values and views occurs. The family
system includes the ingredients which you read in the previous Unit. When
you marry, you combine your original family system with your partner and her
or his family. This requires reshaping many of the things in your life. In most
functional marriages partners have the ability to take two different points of
view and create an option that neither person had considered. This differs from
compromise. It is not giving up something. It rather means to create a third
and amicable option. But life is not that simple as we expect it to be. Problems
and issues are waiting for the door to open. Let us understand the domains in
the beginning family stage which call for adjustment.
11.4.1 Occurrence of Marital Coalition

At the time of marriage, each partner has her or his primary relationship with
her or his family of orientation. Once married, a shift must occur in the
relationships with their parents ar-t siblings. The marital relationship must
become the primary relationship. This shift is very essential for a successful
marriage. It is this shift that leads to marital coalition. This does not mean
getting dissolved into each other. It means arriving at very clear rules for
various interactions and transactions in marital and family life. These rules
have nothing to do with gender or learning capability. The two mature adults
together have to make these rules. Each spouse has the right to express her or
his needs and expectations. Equality between the spouses is the most desired
value in modem marriages.
27
Family Life Cycle Sta~l's - I
,.
Fig. 11.7: After marriage, marital relationship must become the primary relationship
that leads to marital coalition.
.
,
11.4.2 Residence of Marriage Partners
You should keep in mind that the practice of woman leaving her parental
family and joining her husband's family is being followed, broadly in India.
After marriage, a woman has to negotiate the transition from her parental
family system to that of her in-laws. This may bring a variety of conflicts
which in turn can affect the marital adjustment of the couple. Newly married
members of the upper class sometimes move into a new house completely
furnished for them by one or both of their families, but this is rare. Setting up
a new and independent household brings with it new set of adjustments. A
couple has to make different set of adjustments depending upon whether the
family they live in is joint or nuclear.
A community of construction site labourers in the Panchmahal district of

Gujarat follows an atypical practice after the marriage of a son or brother.
They set up separate households in a few hours. They quickly divide their
pots, pans and other household items. The newly married wife starts cooking
on the new 'chula' (stove) which is made up of a few bricks.
11.4.3 Intergenerational Relationships and Relatives

After undergoing a shift from one's family of orientation to the family of
procreation the couple find themselves in three families; that are family of
orientation, family of procreation and their own subsystem, within that family.
The couple require~ space, power and freedom to build their own subsystem.
If this does not happen, then it becomes a major source of marital tensions.
Relationships with in-laws are generally dreaded before marriage. It may turn
out that after marriage the relationships. may be mutually helpful, satisfactory
and provide warmth and support to the individual. Issues arising should be
met and dealt with through healthy communication to avoid resentment. It is
not an overnight affair to merge your value systems with that of others but one
must work towards cultivating a healthy relationship. There is a possibility of
more conflict in mixed marriages compared to marriage in similar backgrounds.
It is important to recognise the fact that it is normal for parents and children
to go through a weaning process when the couple marries. The acceptance of
28 '
this fact makes the interrelationships less troublesome. Apart from the in-laws, the Marriage and the
Beginning Family
other members of the immediate family also have to be dealt with in the beginning
phase like a younger or elder brother, sister, grandfather, grandmother, uncle, aunt
or distant relative etc. Thus, the larger family surrounds each newly married couple
and it is essential to establish the foundation of relationships that will carry on over
the years .
..
Fig. 11.8: Intergenerational relationships.
11.4.4 Mutually Satisfying Sexual Relationships

You read earlier that husband and wife both bring into marriage numerous and
significant unconscious needs, desires and wants. Human sexuality is immensely
complex. Human sexual relations are infused with a great many motivations,
meanings and emotions in addition to biological urges. Sexuality and sexual
relations are developed within the context of historical, cultural and biological
background of the individual. An individual's knowledge of sex is influenced
by the family and environment (friends, school, neighbours, religion and media)
in which she or he lives.
Most people assume that sex, at its best is one of the life's greatest fulfillments.
But sexual compatibility needs to be cultivated and worked upon. Sexual
incompatibility and dysfunction are a major source of marital conflicts and
sometimes even lead to divorce. Partners who have been sexually intimate
before marriage will have already encountered problems (if any). The husband
and wife who work out together a continuity of mutually satisfying sex
relationship early in marriage not only find a ,source of deep satisfaction for
the present, but also establish a firm foundation upon which other tasks can
be undertaken and future happiness built. Cultivating one's sexual relationship
is difficult if the family is very poor and the couple does not have a separate
and private place for sexual intimacy.
11.4.5 Communication
Two people live in the same house, share the same bed and eat together, but
unless they establish effective systems of communication between them, they
might as well be miles apart. We do not live in emotional vacuums. We live
in a climate of feelings where we may experience different emotions like love,
29
Family Life Cycle Stages - I hatred, highs, lows etc. It is important to recognise the emotional states, the
reasons behind them and deal with them in a realistic and honest manner.
Expressing real feelings in an acceptable manner is important. Healthy
communication is not only about verbal interactions but it also includes
complexity of words, gestures, signs and symbolic action. It is easy to get
through your spouse and other family members with love and affection but
learning how to handle inevitable negative feelings is a difficult assignment.
You know that some conflict is expected in the beginning family as everybody
does not look at things and situations with the same lens. So communication
is the key to unlock different or former ways of living and negotiate them into
a unity of lifestyle.
11.4.6 Friends, Community and Religious Organisations

• Adjustments need to be made with the friends of each individual after marriage .
This may vary if the marriage takes place in the same city, state, country or to
a different one. Marriages by self choice have different set of adjustments
compared to arranged marriages. It may be possible that the couple has to
rebuild one's network of friends especially the wife as she joins her husband's
family after marriage. Realigning relationships with your friends is important
because it now includes your spouse.
Participation in community activities may again depend on various factors like

one's social status, personal interests and availability of time. There may be
some problems related to religious activities and affiliations if it is an inter-caste
marriage. But a marriage in similar caste and religion can also put forth difficulties
in terms of degree of interest and religious ideologies and values. For example,
the wife may not believe in God while the husband may have deep rooted
religious values.
11.4.7 Power
The factor of power equation calls for many adjustments especially in the initial
phase of marriage. The dynamics of power can range from power equation between
two partners, in-laws and parents, two brothers etc. It is essential to work out the
power positions within a family. The issue of power among husband and wife is
more likely to occur in situations where the wife is employed.
Establishing power and control over money and other resources, male
domination, only one or two family members having a say in making important
decisions etc. will all give rise to conflicts for power. Power relationships can
have various conceptualisations, that are availability of resources (wealth,
knowledge and skills), capacity to produce them and control over the outcome
of resources. In most cases the power games are played out much more subtly
and indirectly. So, while providing family therapy and counselling you need
to be aware about the covert manifestations of power and control in
relationships. Absence of conflicts over power is not an indication of the absence
of power game.
11.4.8 Finances
Financial adjustment is one of the major adjustments to be made especially
during the early years of marriage. A family in the contemporary world not
30
only requires necessities but also luxuries. Advent of globalisation is quickly Marriage and the
Beginning Family
converting wants into needs. A couple has to undertake and establish mutually
satisfactory systems for getting and spending money.
If the wife is not employed then it means that there is an addition of a family
member who will equally utilise the resources. Poor families find it difficult to make
ends meet in such situations. Also at the time of beginning family stage both partners
'"
are in thebeginning stage of their careers and are inexperienced. The young husband
and wife may augment their income in a number of ways.
In most cases they accept financial help and support from parents. This is not an
unusual practice in India. Even the expense of marriage ceremony in most cases is
borne by the parents whether the individual is earning or not.
In the recent days, the most frequent solution which is sought is the wife's ability
and willingness to work. If the wife is already employed at the time of marriage then
. •the couple is not faced with financial crisis but gets the benefit of added income.
As more women have entered the workforce and are financially independent the
decision about how, when, where, why and on what to spend the family income
becomes co-operative, democratic and based on joint planning of husband and
wife. Generally, in India, in joint households financial decisions are taken by the
patriarch of the family and financial cringe of the couple is also met by the larger
family.
At times the couple faces an intrinsic pressure to display evidence of success to

their friends, relatives, parents, siblings or colleagues who may be better established.
A couple or individual may feel that they want a car or a better house not so much
because they actually need it but may be because they have a superimposed desire
to enhance their social position.
Individuals are also more and more attracted to electronic gadgets and
automatic household equipments which make their life simpler. At times the
couple may run a rat race to make ends meet at the sacrifice of not having
children, fewer children, future financial security and peace of mind. Taking loan
from bank can also be an option for the couple facing financial crisis, in the early
years.

provided below.
Fill in the blanks:
1) In most cases the power games are played out much more .
and .
2) The couple requires space, power and freedom to build their own
3) Traditionally a husband was expected to play the role of a .

and the head of the family and the role of the wife was that of a
............................... who was responsible for bearing and rearing of
children.
31
11.5 CHALLENGES AND EMERGING ISSUES
Developing skills and dealing maturely with the sources of stress in the beginning
stage lays the foundation of future success of the stages to come in the family life
cycle.
Conflicts arise out of differences that make each partner unique. You already know
that husband and wife are two different persons each with their own personal
history, values, attitudes, goals, preferences, habits etc. So differences in opinions
and conflicts are inevitable to some extent.
Being committed to make your marriage work is a crucial necessity at this

point of time. A marital relationship is most vulnerable in the beginning stage. Let
us see what can be some sources of stress, challenges or emerging issues in the
• beginning stage.
1) The tendency to think that life is going to be a 'bed of roses' after marriage
and that marriage will bring an end to all problems is one of the big sources
of psychological stress especially if it does not turn out to be the way one had
ideally expected. Some individuals expect to find immediate and unending bliss
as soon as they are married.
2) Financial strain is particularly great during the early years of marriage. Most
couples and husbands are at the beginning point of their career. If the couple
lives in a joint family the stress might not be that great compared to that of the
couple who have set up an independent household. A couple who belongs to
a low socio-economic status may tun into financial debt due to the expenses
made for the elaborate marriage ceremony. At times the couple may take a
loan and buy more than what they can afford which may lead to a financial
crunch in the later stages. Generally, in India, parents of the couple take loans
especially in girl's wedding.
3) Employment of wife mayor may not create issues in the family. Some couples
work out mutually satisfactory adjustments from the beginning and some learn
to do it in the course of time. This depends a lot on attitude of the other
family members, education level of the wife, employment status of the wife,
and reason for employment (help or fulfilment). Control over one's income is
an issue which the wife has to face and deal with. Expectations of the
family that the wife must do multiple tasks produce enormous stress for the
performer.
4) Controlling fertility and planning for children appears natural but it is a challenge
for the couple or individual. At times a woman may have not control over her
fertility. Involuntary childlessness and the concept of double income no kids is
an emerging issue which many couples are facing.
5) Domestic violence and abuse, instances of marital rape are crisis and stress
producing situations.
6) When marriage takes place, most individuals portray ideal images of self
in an effort to please other and feel happy. The real issues emerge when
the initial idealisation phase wears off and individuals behave in the way
what each one actually is.
32
7) Rising rate of divorce brings many couples in the situation wherein they begin Marriage and the
Beginning Family
their family life with either partner or both of them remarrying. This can happen
after a former marriage has been broken by death or divorce. Jealousies and
unfavourable comparisons with former spouses are issues to be avoided at this
juncture of beginning family.
8) Power and identity issues also need to be resolved. Etforts to maintain one's
individual identity and working for a 'couple identity' may bring with it many
stressful episodes.
9) At times things which appear petty may pose a big threat and challenge to
making the marriage work like eating habits and preferences, lifestyle,philosophy
of life, type of friends, spending behaviours, dressing patterns, not wearing a
mangulsutra or applying sindhoor, blind beliefs, recreational and leisure time
• activities, religious beliefs and ideologies etc. For example, a couple took
divorce fifteen days after marriage because the wife insisted on drinking bottled
water while on honeymoon.
.
,
10) Taboos, misconceptions and fictions about love, sex and marriages are disruptive
especially during the early years. Sex in real life is not always enjoyable and
recreational for both partners in the marriage.
11) Temperamental, sexual incompatibility and intolerance for each other's

personality trait may appear minute but turn out to be a serious issue. If
not dealt well, it can also lead to marital dissolution in the early stages.
A young romantic couple may feel that their marriage will escape all problems.
This is only wishful thinking. Two different individuals living together and
facing problems is inevitable. Developing problem solving strategies at an
early stage can turn out to be a good investment.
An individual may let go of many facts and things about the partner irrespective
of it being an arranged marriage or a marriage with self choice. Whatever is
forgiven, forgotten and accepted at one point of time should be done forever
and not temporarily. One cannot do anything to change what has already
happened in the past.
It is very essential to understand the current qualities of the partner and focus
on the present. To experience marital satisfaction it is important to convert
stumbling blocks in to building blocks!
11.6 TRANSITIONING TO THE NEXT STAGE OF

FAMILY LIFE CYCLE
Most couples take it for granted that they will have children and get married
with an anticipation of having children. During the earlier times children just
came as a matter of course. Now modern contraceptives make it possible to
have choice of parenting and deciding the timing of child's arrival. Most
people believe in planned parenthood. However, it is quite likely for an
unplanned pregnancy to take place. A planned pregnancy leads to a smooth
transitioning into the next phase of family life cycle because a couple and a
family is ready for parenthood and have considered costs of having a child.
Some unconscious or conscious decisic .,,, to have children would be to etend
33
Family Life Cycle Stages - I one's family lineage, satisfy one's nurturance needs, to acquire adult status in the
society, to prove one's ability to reproduce, to please parents and other relatives,
for security in old age etc.
Unplanned pregnancies may result into a crisis time for couples or either of the
partner. Sometimes both the partners accept that they are going to have a baby and
sometimes both of them or either one rejects the idea of having a child. The reasons
may vary from being psychologicallyunprepared for parenting to taking a responsibility
of a child, inadequate resources and skills to parent a child etc. Such reactions are
common and most of the times wear off with time or after discussions with parents
and relatives. If a couple or anyone partner still does not come to terms with the
fact then they might consider the option of abortion.
Lack of knowledge and resources of family planning, pressure to have a child from
• parents and/or in-laws, especially having male child, and no control over one's
sexuality for a woman are also some of the reasons due to which the couple or
family suddenly transits into the new stage.
.
,
Inability to conceive a child (infertility) is another challenge to be faced by the
couple. Infertility may result either due to the dysfunction of the wife or
husband but most of the times it is the woman who is blamed. The society
victimizes and stigmatizes her and gives her names like 'ban)', 'barren',
'unfortunate', 'bringing ill to the family' etc. Infertility can also be a temporary
condition and may respond well with treatment. If not, then after mutual
consultation with each other and family members a couple may opt for surrogate
pregnancy or in-vitro fertilisation. Another option includes adopting one or
more children. All the alternatives to solve infertility are most of the times
accompanied by personal, marital, medical and legal complications.
At this juncture there are chances of marital dissolution or desertion or a

beginning of an unhappy marriage. The marriage becomes very vulnerable and
takes a toll on the couple demanding patience, understanding and acceptance
of the situation.
While some couples are forced to remain childless there are also couples who
opt for voluntary childlessness. Some reasons for voluntary childlessness are
avoiding curtailment of wife's career and education, children perceived as
interference in marital relationships and one's self indulging life, no interest
or disliking children, to escape responsibilities, challenges, demands and
anxieties related to child rearing, avoiding financial costs of child bearing and
rearing etc.

provided below.
1) Write a note on infertility.
34
Marriage and the
2) What are some of the reasons a couple opts for voluntary childlessness? Beginning Family
11.7 LET US SUM UP

In this Unit, you studied that a typical beginning family in India begins with
the marriage between two individuals. Marriages in different religions have
different meanings attached. It is very important to understand your own self
before entering the system of marriage. Marital partners are expected to play
.. certain specific roles based on socially shared expectations. Each partner
makes efforts to conform with the roles that she or he is expected to play.
While doing that a couple may be faced with many challenges and issues
which require adjustment. One needs to develop skills to deal with the sources
of stress. Communication plays a great role in dealing with the issues. Successful
transitioning to the next stage is not a smooth affair for all individuals. Marriage
is most vulnerable in the beginning stage and commitment to make the
relationship work is very important.
11.8 GLOSSARY
Abnegation Give up or renounce.
Coalition Union, alliance.
Filial Due from a son or daughter.
Integrity Reliability, honesty, truthfulness.
In-vitro fertilisation It is atechnique in which the ova are fertilised

by sperms outside the woman's womb. The
fertilised egg is then transferred to the woman's
uterus with the intent to establish successful
pregnancy.
Mixed marriage Marriage between two people who belong to

different caste, religion, nationality or socio-
economic status.
Predominant Main, principal, leading.
Surrogate pregnancy An arrangement for a woman to carry and give

birth to a child who will be raised by others.
Voluntary childlessness It is a term used to describe individuals who

choose not to procreate.
35
EXERCISES
1) marriage, child bearin~ time

2) marital bliss
3) globalisation

1) Some essential qualities of roles and responsibilities of the beginning stage are:
• Roles should be complimentary in nature,
• • Role performance should receive adequate and satisfactory response,
• Flexibility in roles is always beneficial to relationships,
• Responsibilities should be reciprocal in nature, and
• Performance of responsibilities needs acknowledgement and rewards.
1) subtly, indirectly
2) subsystem
3) Provider/breadwinners, homemaker

1) Infertility refers to the biological inability to conceive a child. Infertility may
result either due to the dysfunction of the wife or husband but most of the times
it is the woman who is blamed. The society victimises and stigmatises her and
gives her names like 'barren', 'unfortunate', bringing ill to the family etc.
Infertilitycan also be a temporary condition and may respond well with treatment.
All the alternatives to solve infertility are most of the times accompanied by
personal, marital, medical and legal complications.
2) Some reasons for voluntary childlessness are avoiding financial costs of child
bearing and rearing, avoiding curtailment of wife's career and education, children
perceived as interference in marital relationships and one's self indulging life,
no interest or disliking children, to escape responsibilities, challenges, demands
and anxieties related to child rearing.

1) Discuss the concept of marriage in India with. special focus on the beginning
family.
2) What are the roles and responsibilities of partners' while they are in the
beginning stage of the family life cycle?
3) Elaborate on the domains of adjustment in the beginning family stage.
4) . Discuss the challenges and emerging issues in the beginning family stage.
5) Write short note on transitioning to the second stage of family life cycle.
36
Marriage and the
11.11 FURTHER READINGS AND REFERENCES Beginning Family
Ahuja, R. (1993). Indian social system. New Delhi: Rawat Publications.
Bhatti, R. S. (2003). Enhancing marital and family relationships: A model. The

Indian Journal of Social Work, 64,151-158.
Desai, M. (1993). Selection of marriage partner in India and development

programmes. The Indian Journal of Social Work (1), 59-70.
Duvall, E. M. (1962). Family development. J.B. Lippincott Company.
Duvall, E. M. & Miller, B. C. (1985). Marriage and family development New

York: Harper & Row Publishers.
Kapadia, K. M. (1958). Marriage and famity in India. India: Oxford University

Press.
'. Kumar, P. (1994). A need for assessing marital sickness and related dysfunction.
National Symposium on Changing Marital and Family Systems. NIMHANS .•
Bangalore.
Mane, P. (1996). Assessment in the area of marriage: The social work approach
in India. Bharat, S. (Ed) Family Measurement in India. New Delhi: Sage.
Muzumdar, K. (1996). Assessment of marital conflict: Experiences of a marriage

counselor. In Bharat, S. (Ed) Family Measurement in India. New Delhi: Sage.
Patel, T. (2005) (Ed). The Family in India: Structure and Practice. Themes in
Indian Sociology (6). New Delhi: Sage Publications.
Prasad, B. (1994). Intergenerational Communication and Power Issues Involved

in Marital Conflicts. National Symposium on Changing Marital and Family
Systems. NIMHANS, Bangalore.
Raguram, A. (1994). Issues in Marital Therapy: An experiential view. National

Symposium on Changing Marital and Family Systems. NIMHANS .•Bangalore.
Ross, 1961; I.P. Desai, 1964; Gore, 1968; Vatuk, 1972; Ramu, 1977; Rao &
Rao, 1982, Srivastava, 1986 as cited in Ramu, G. N. (1988). Family Structure
and Fertility: Emerging Patterns in an Indian City. New Delhi: Sage.
Ramu, G. N. (1988). Family Structure and Fertility: Emerging Patterns in an

Indian City. New Delhi: Sage.
Yarhouse, M. & Nowacki, S. (2007). The many meanings of marriage: Divergent

perspectives seeking common ground. The Family Journal.15:36.
37
UNIT 12 CHILD BEARING FAMILIES
Structure
12.1 Introduction
12.2 The Family ~
12.3 Changing Face of the Family
12.4 The Child Bearing Stage
12.4.1 The Decision to Start a Family
12.4.2 Age and Stage of the Child Bearing Family
12.4.3 Developmental Characteristics of Infants
12.5 Changing Trends in the Age at which the First Child is Born
• 12.5.1 The Effects of Education Attainment
12.5.2 The Conflict between Employment and Motherhood
12.5.3 Unemployment, Uncertainty, Economic Conditions and First Birth Timing
12.5.4 Family Planning, Contraceptives and First Birth Postponement
12.6 Role of Caring Adults

12.6.1 Responsibilities of the Father
12.6.2 Responsibilities of the Mother
12.6.3 Role of the Extended Family and Community
12.7 Transition from Beginning Stage to Child Bearing Stage

12.8 Possible Sources of Stress for the Child Bearing Family
12.9 Role of Education, Women's Empowerment and Media
12.10 Let Us Sum Up
12.11 Glossary
12.1 INTRODUCTION
A child is born to a set of parents and this trio forms the basic family .The family
is seen as the smallest unit that makes a community and is said to pass through
various stages of development. The two individuals enter the institution of marriage,
decide to settle down, bear children and the process continues till the children grow
up, marry, bear children or move out of the parental household to make their own
family.
This Unit, outlines various features of a child bearing family. It also gives an overview
of the dynamics between the family members in the child bearing stage vis-a-vis
type of family set up, changes in the place of residence, level of education, women's
employment, spread of media and improvement in medicine and healthcare. In the
Unit, you will also study about the possible sources of stress for the family during
the child bearing stage.
38
Objectives Child Bearing Families

• Identify given stage of the family life cycle;
• Appreciate the functions of a family; and
• Understand the functions of the new mother and father in the child bearing
stage. ~
12.2 THE FAMILY

The family is viewed as a unit of people usually related, usually living together,
working together to satisfy their necessities and relating to each other to fulfil
their wants. The family is a group of persons united by ties of marriage, blood
or adoption, constituting a single household, interacting and intercommunicating
with each other in their respective social roles of husband and wife, mother
and father, son and daughter, brother and sister, creating and maintaining a
common culture (Burgess and Locke,1953).
The family is a small social unit consisting usually of husband, wife and
children, but sometimes excluding one of these members or including
grandparents, even non-related friends. The family is the unit which gives an
individual strongest sense of community, and which, more than any other
institution, lends stability and sincerity to life (McCormack,1974).
Thus individuals living together make a family and the emotional bondage
makes family not merely a concept but an emotional experience (Sinha,1999).
The family is a cohesive social group consisting of the man, his wife or wives
and their children. Families can be of different types in different settings and
their specific functions and meanings depend largely on their relationship to
other social institutions. The different types of families as reported by
sociologists are:
i) Nuclear family: It consists of the husband, wife and their children.
ii) Joint family: A joint family is an extension of the nuclear family consisting
of the married sons and their children also.
iii) Extended family: An extended family may include the members, other
than those related by blood and marriage, for example, siblings of the
man or woman may also live in the same household.
The family has been regarded as the basic and, the most important unit of the
society and is often termed as the cradle of all civic virtues. It is viewed as
an important agent of socialisation for the growing child and an individual's
personality is judged by her or his family background. As you have studied
earlier a family can be patrilineal, or matrilineal. According to residence, it can be
patrilocal or matrilocal. It is regarded as patriarchal if decision making rests with the
eldest male member and termed as matriarchal if the family is headed by the eldest
female member of the household.
39
The family serves many functions such as:
• Procreation: Child bearing in a married couple relationship is seen as healthy
for the newborn child and also for the society. It becomes the legal and moral
responsibility of the couple to look after the baby. Children born out of wedlock
find themselves at the worst end of negligence and non-acceptance in the
society.
Fig. 12.1: Procreation is an important function of family.
• Regulation of sexual behaviour: The family consists of the man and woman,
who being married, are viewed as socially and morally correct sexual partners.
Marriage as an institution legalises the act of sex between the husband and
wife in all societies across the world.
• Taking care of small and young children: The man-woman duo recognised
as husband and wife after marriage begin to identify as a unit and take upon
themselves the responsibility of looking after their children, thus ensuring the
best life chances for their offspring. The other family members also take care
of the child, in India.
• Taking care of the old and sick members: The family members who
stay together and function in union, act as a support system for each other
during period of crises as illness, economic hardships, old age etc.
40 Fig. 12.2: Young family members are expected to take care of old members of family.
• Undertaking economic activities: The family members engage in different Child Bearing Families
kinds of activities that lead to economic gain. For example, in agrarian

societies the family members engage in farming and later selling their
produce in the market, a potter's family members work towards making
earthen pots and selling them.
• Providing a sense of belongingness to the members: Human beings the

social by nature and even though they look for company outside their
family, they find it difficult to move away from the family as the latter
provides them with a sense of belongingness and rootedness. This gives
the individual a feeling of security and belongingness and also an identity
for herself or himself. Even though the person may strive to develop an
identity which is different and separate from that of the family, but the
family identity does not leave her or him. Family passes life skills and
• traditions to next generation. It is the parents, siblings, and members in
the extended family who train the newborn child to learn skills of eating,
reading, language etc.
• Passing culture to the next generation: The child is born to a set of

parents who have a set pattern of eating food, dressing up, the language
they speak, the beliefs they follow about religion, morality etc. The child
born into the family learns the above mentioned ways of life through
imitation and direct instruction. In this way culture, norms, values are
passed from one generation to another.

provided below.
1) Explain the different types of families.
2) List down the functions of family.
41
12.3 CHANGING FACE OF THE FAMILY
Family as a structuralunit has been undergoing change due to ongoing socio- economic,
demographic changes brought about with the technological advancement. Now-a-
days the traditional Indian joint or extended family is structurally transforming into
nuclear households.
The face of the family across the world is'changing, Apart from death of a spouse
resulting in single parent households, there is an increased number of single parent
families due to divorce, teen unmarried pregnancies, adoption of children by unmarried
men and women. As in parts of south east Asia, in India as well the family is
primarily patriarchal. However, the broken nuclear or single homes are mostly
female headed families .
•
In India, single parent families are created mainly due to death of the spouse,
divorce or separation. The traditional nuclear family is also competing with
the family setup consisting of individuals cohabiting without marriage and
.
,
having children of their own or adopting them. The traditional man-woman
couple has an emerging counterpart, consisting of same sex partners who
adopt or procreate children to complete their family, in today's world. With
changing work opportunities people also migrate in great numbers and this has
added to another major category of individuals and families, termed as the
migrant families across the world and inside each country.
The Indian couple had about 5 or 6 children about half a century back and now
the couples are satisfied with having 1 or 2 offspring in the urban educated
setup. Also, Government of India is propagating the norm of two child family.

provided below.
1) Write a short note on changing face of family in India.
12.4 THE CHILD BEARING STAGE

12.4.1 The Decision to Start a Family
The decision to start a family means the decision to enter the stage of
parenthood. The stage of parenthood is an enormous leap from taking care of
oneself and partnering with other members in the family to being responsible
for another human life for her or his overall well being throughout life. It can
42
be the most challenging and the most rewarding roles that an individual decides to Child Bearing Families
take up and one can never be absolved of its responsibility even when the children
become old and independent.
In India, child bearing stage of family is not just a stage of family life span but it
also means a lot of other things for parents to be. Let us discuss these other factors
that are important in Indian society:
i) Social expectation: After marriage, it is expected that couple will have a child
within one or two years. The close relatives and friends also keep asking for
couple's planning to conceive a child. In India, child bearing is not simply
related to married couple but the decision is also affected by the parents of '.
the couple or other family members. If the couple doesn't have a child within
two years, the society members start believing that either there is something
•• wrong in the marriage or anyone from the couple is not able to produce .
ii) Social acceptance: In India, family starts with the arrival of child only. The
family with child will be accepted as more responsible adults. The child in "
·. family increases the social status of the family as social contact increases and
it improves socialisation.
iii) Identification: Young adults who become parents get a new identity in
society and they become eligible to perform certain religious rituals,
ceremonies and functions which are allowed or mandatory for parents only.
iv) Religion: Almost all the religions consider reproduction and procreation as a
divine duty of human beings. For example, the main feature of Gristhasharam
in Hindu religion is procreation and rearing children. Many religions believe
that child is a blessing of God and child should be cared and reared as
worship.
v) Getting rid of loneliness: Children not only fill the space physically in family
but they also bridge the gaps emotionally. Children play important role in family
ties. Children bring love, warmth and affection in not only the parents' life but
in other family member's lives also.
vi) Feeling of accomplishment: Arrival of child does not only bring joy in
parents' life but it also gives feeling of competence and accomplishment. The
birth and rearing of a child generates a feeling of biological and psychological
achievement in parent's life.
Fig. 12.3: Child birth leads to feeling of accomplishment in parents.
43
Family Life Cycle Stages - I vii) Ensuring continuity: In India, child especially if he is son, uses his father's
name after his name and follows the traditions and customs of his family.
Hence, child in family ensures the continuityof family name and family occupation
to the next generation.
viii) For Moksha: In Hindu religion, it is believed that son will open the doors for
parent's moksha (mukti) means salvation. According to Hindu holy books, if
son performs the funeral ri1es of his parents then they will reach heaven and
get free from yoni-chakra (cycle of re-birth).
12.4.2 Age and Stage of the Child Bearing Family

A family is said to enter the child bearing stage when the couple have their first child
and this stage continues till the first born begins formal school.
• An optimum amount of time, thought, planning and emotional growing up is required
so that the decision to begin a family and meet up to the demands of the times
ahead is positively incorporated into the couples' lives.
"
Developmental Tasks of Child Bearing Family
The following developmental tasks are to be accomplished in this stage:
1) Income adjustments,
2) Role shifts,
3) Re-adjustment of personal goals toward family goals, and
4) Linkage with extended family.

provided below.
1) List down the factors that affect the decision of bearing a child.
12.4.3 Developmental Characteristics of Infants

Beginning the journey oflife from a single cell to a newborn at the end of9 months is
short but eventful when viewed in the perspective of the abilities that a neonate is born
with. The reflexes of the newborn include Rootimg reflex, Sucking reflex, Moro reflex,
Plantar reflex and so on. These reflexes have survival value for the neonate and with
passage of time disappear and get replaced with mature behavioural patterns and
abilities.
,".<!. .•.
44
The infant spends most of the time of the day and night alternating between sleep, Child Bearing Families
feeding time and eliminating. These functions help infants to adjust to the new
environment and also in the process gain weight and improve in health.
Physical and motor development

The physical development during infancy is quite rapid. Physical development
is related to maturation as well as health and nutritional status of the child.
Physical and motor development follows the cephalocaudal and proximodistal

trend. This implies growth and gaining control and mastery of the body from
head to toe and from gross motor to fine motor skills. Remember, you have read this
in Block 1.
Fig. 12.4: Head of infant is proportionally larger in size as compared to the other body parts
Motor skill Average age

1. Holding head erect and steady when held upright 6 weeks
2. Lifting self by arms when prone 2 months
3. Rolling from side to back 2 months
4. Rolling from back to side 5 months
5. Sitting alone 7 months
6. Crawling 7 months
7. Pulls to stand 8 months
8. Stands alone 11months
9. Walks alone 12 months
10. Scribbling 14 months
12. Walks up stairs with help 16 months
13. Jumps in place 24 months
Fig. 12.5: Milestones for gross and fine motor development.
45
Family Life Cycle Stages- I Developmental milestones of touch, taste, smell, balance, and hearing
At birth, neonates are responsive to touch and pain. They can distinguish sweet, sour
and bitter tastes. They can distinguish odours and prefer sweet taste and odours. With
head control, they are able to turn to general 'direction of the sound and can adapt
their head movement in the flow of the visual stimulus.
By the age of 6 months the infafits explore objects held in their hands by putting them
in their mouth and have established some kind of preference for certain tastes through
experience. With increased control over gross movements the head control also im-
proves with the infant being able to sharply focus on the visual stimulus. The infant also
begins to be more sensitive to the language that the family speaks and is well able to
distinguish voices of the family members. During the age range of7 to 12 months eye
hand coordination improves and the child is also able to maintain balance of the body.
• By the end of the first year, the child is mature enough to speak the first word in his
native language.
Fig.12.6: The growing child learns to maintain body balance while standing
Social Development
Social development is related to social cognition. Social cognition refers to the child's
understanding of the s~lf and the social world. The following trend is seen in the devel-
opment of social cognition. It proceeds from concrete to abstract. It becomes more
organized with age and children, as they grow, revise their ideas about behaviour from
simple, one sided explanations to complex, interacting relationships that take into ac-
count situations and the people involved.
As they grow, infants realise that they are capable of making objects move, fall and so
on. They are able to recognise themselves in the mirror; in the photographs and on.
videotapes. They begin to label themselves with their name, and the language also
includes 'Me' and 'I' labels. Emergence of self esteem begins when the child is
directed by adults to perform simple actions and in turn the child is rewarded with
46
praise and often commented upon as being a grown up child. Toilet training forms a Child Bearing Families
major task that needs to be mastered by the age of 2-3 years and learning to control
gives a major boost to the self esteem of the child.
At birth the neonate is capable of the rooting reflex to both external and self
stimulation. Thereby begins the emergence of the 'I self' as the child begins to
distinguish between her or his own body and that of the mother and others. The infant
-s,
is able to smile and vocalize to the caregiver. By 15 months of age, infants begin to
point to themselves in the mirror. By the end of second year the child recognizes the
family members, shows attachment and sadness on their appearance and separation.
She or he begins to enjoy the company of other children and attempts to follow their
actions in study and play. The child also begins to identify with the same sex parent
and attempts to imitate the parent in dress and behaviour. The child begins to relate to
affection and reprimand shown by adults and attempts to do actions that result in adult
approval. The infants have the primitive ability to learn through imitation.
..
Fig. 12.7: By the end of the first year, infants enjoy the company of other children
By the end of the second year children look for adult evaluation and praise
which if contingent upon the success motivates the child to work with enthusiasm,
work harder and also take up more challenging tasks in the future. This forms the
future groundwork for laying the personality trait of being mastery oriented or having
the trait of learnt helplessness. Here, you should recall the various theories studied in
Block 1.
Emotional development
Emotions are inbuilt social signals that reveal the inner state of the mind and
body in varied situations of anger, happiness; sadness, and fear. The -newborn
baby is born with the ability to show displeasure and happiness by crying and
giving a serene appearance respectively.
During early weeks of life infants smile when full stomach, during sleep, when
touched and on hearing the caregiver's voice. By the end offrrst month babies begin
to smile on seeing interesting objects such as bright lights and objects.
47
Fig. 12.8: Smiling
On attaining the age of 10 weeks the infant is capable of social smiling on seeing the
human face. On seeing familiar faces the infant also begins to smile by the age of 4
months. By the age of one year the young child displays varied types of smiles in
differing social situations.
Fig. 12.9: Smiling babies pull others like magnet to themselves
Hunger, pain, changes in body temperature, under and over stimulation lead to distress.
Angry reactions begin to appear by the age of 4-6 months and the triggers could be
parting from the caregiver, removal from attractive situation or stimulus, being restrained
from pleasurable acti vity, or unsuccessful attempts at certain actions.
fear appears during the second half of the first year. The child begins to show
reluctance to new toys, strange looking objects and animals, loud sounds and sudden
extreme physical stimulations. By the age of about 9 months the child begins to show
stranger anxiety and fears leaving the company of the caregiver. During this stage, the
baby is unwilling to explore his physical environment outside the view of her or his
caregiver,
48
The ability to regulate one's emotion does occur during infancy. Infants depend on the Child Bearing Families
caregiver to soothe them in case of discomfort and anxiety. By the age of 4 months the
development of the cerebral cortex leads to the ability to shift attention from unpleasant
stimulations and with the mastery of mobility skills, the child's effort becomes easier.
Adult intervention for soothing the agitated infant lays the foundation for the manner in
which the young growing child will handle such situations in the future. Children's
temperament can be categorised as easy, difficult and slow to warm up. Temperamentally
the children can also be said to be inhibited or shy and uninhibited or sociable.
Attachment is another behavioural outcome of adult child interaction that gets established
by the age of 6 months before which the infant exhibited the pre-attachment and the
"
"attachment in making" phase. Around the age of 18 months development oflanguage
leads to formation of the reciprocal relationship between the child and the caregiver.
The child may now begin to demand from the adult, time before a short separation
• occurs between the two - such as, being read a story before the caregiver leaves.
The nature of attachment between the child and the caregiver results from non-shared
.. experiences in which the parents adjust their caregiving to their child's individual emo-
tional needs. Here, again you should recall and relate the attachment theories with
infants.
Cognitive development
The infant brain seeks stimulation through exploration of its immediate envi-
ronment. The infant brain is completely formed structurally but is immature in
function and organization. It is characterized by absence of lateralization and
there is capacity for plasticity and influence of stimulation during the critical periods of
development.
The infant brain seeks stimulation through exploration of its immediate envi-
ronment. In the first year of life, absence of mobility leads the infant to explore through
touch, taste, vision and hearing. During the first month, of life the newborn's reflexes
help in the development of the reflexive schemas as proposed by Piaget. Here, we
would like you to recall and integrate Piaget's cognitive theory for children at this
stage. The reflexes get replaced by the primary circular reactions till the end of the 4th
month. At this stage the infant repeats the physical movements that are pleasurable to
her or him without anticipating the event and its outcome. This stage is replaced by the
stage of secondary circular reactions during the age range of 4-8 months. Infants
begin to focus on actions and their actions begin to become their intentional activity so
as to get pleasure through repetition. For example, infant likes to kick at the mobile
that is hanging overhead on the crib to see it move repeatedly. This repeated pleasur-
able activity gets replaced by activities that bring about goal directed behaviours around
the age of 8 to 12 months.
Physical mobility leads to exploration of new areas in the house and objects and the
child begins to realize that people and objects do not disappear when out of sight
during the age range of 12-18 months. Beyond this age till the end of the second year
the child begins to make mental representations of people and objects, thus starting to
display behaviours of deferred imitation and make believe play. Children at this stage
enjoy playing hide and seek; peek-a-boo etc.
49
Fig.12.10:Infants enjoy playing peek-a-boo game with others
Language development
Language development is a function of both the innate capacity to communicate
• and input from the child's environment. The newborn first begins to communicate
through her or his cries when in discomfort. This crying is soon replaced by the first
speech sounds around the age of2 months called cooing. By the age of 4 months this
is replaced and enriched by the sounds of babbling. In the absence of adult speech the
baby vocalizes strings of sound that appear to be adult speech and is called the idio-
syncratic speech that resembles adult speech in tone and intonation. First words ap-
pear by the age of 1 year and they get replaced by telegraphic speech, speaking two-
word sentences, by 15 months of age. For example, 'more mango'. During the age
range of 9-12 months the infant uses preverbal gestures - protodec1arati ve and
protoimperative. Protodeclarative gestures are those preverbal gestures in which in-
fants touch, hold, point to so that caregiver takes notice. Protoimperative gestures are
those preverbal gestures in which infants takes out sounds, points, and reaches so that
caregivers do what they want.
Fig. 12.12: Preverbal gestures of infants stimulate interactions
Language development of infants is characterized by comprehension being ahead of

production abilities. By the age of2 years the infant begins to use systematic strategies
to simplify word pronunciations. The child may sometimes underextend and overextend
word meanings. The telegraphic speech also begins to get replaced by three word
sentences and they also begin to engage in conversations with turn taking behaviour.
50
Child Bearing Families
12.5 CHANGING TRENDS IN THE AGE AT WHICH
THE FIRST CHILD IS BORN
During the child bearing phase of the family life cycle, each individual, that is, the
man and the woman who become the father and the mother of the new born need
to realign their skills, roles and abilities to meet the challenges of taking care of the
newborn. The decision of woman about when to bear children is also influenced by
factors such as personal, familial, and societal.
i) Personal influences include independence, motivation to have a family, declining

fertility, chronic health problems and presence of a stable relationship.
ii) F amity influences include partner readiness for childbearing, financial stability,
and the influence of the extended family.
iii) Societal influences include acceptability of advanced maternal age, divorce

rates, parental leave policies in the workplace etc.
In the traditional family system where the man would earn and the woman
would bear children and take care of the house, the roles of each gender were
defined and there was no crossing of the role responsibilities as it was believed
that physiologically a woman was meant to bear children and the man was
supposed to earn and fend for the family. During the early times, in India, with
the culture and tradition of child marriage the Indian female would begin child
bearing as soon as she entered puberty and would continue to bear children till
it was physiologically possible.
The decision to limit children rests on reasons such as their age, limited
financial resources, fear of the future, difficulty in juggling work and family
and personal reasons as losing one's freedom to do what one wants to do.
Delayed parenthood is a phenomenon that is catching up across the world with
the onset range being specific to each country in relation to its political,
economic and societal conditions.
The factors that have led to the shift in the childbearing age of the couple are
discussed underneath.
12.5.1 The Effects of Education Attainment

The woman and children were considered weak and needing support and
protection for which a man was present and supposed to provide. The basic
underlying idea about the gender roles have undergone a change with the new
ideas of equality of the two genders and rise of the feminist thought process.
The changes in the economy around the world with the industrial revolution,
economic depression and economic renaissance, development in science and
technology and a shift in the social thought process, the women have gained
entry into the industry and the work force. Since time immemorial the female
of the family has always been contributing to the unskilled, unorganised sector
of the work force which was and still is undermined as the output does not
show as clearly as that seen as output in the form of tangible goods and
products. With the women entering the work force it became important for them
to be trained and be at par with men in providing output to the industry and
contribute to the economy of the country.
51
Family Life Cycle Stages - I To compete, excel and earn well women need to be educated and trained to
meet the needs of the industry. Thus it becomes important that the future workforce
be trained and educated.
Economies in both developed and developing nations pose a demand for education
and to,find work for a living is possible only when the young educate themselves.
A basic education does Flotsuffice and ensure a stable job, sufficient wages, and
increase in career prospects. Now-a-days, most women and men reach early
adulthood and continue to pursue higher education.
As a student, resources are less so entering marriage and parenthood is a less likely
option and is best viewed to be postponed till stability in work and income is
achieved.
Women who have an extended study period also come into the category of late
• family starters. Studies have indicated that prolonged education periods lead
to late motherhood. There is additional postponement of child bearing within
each educational category and increasing differences in birth timing by
educational level, with highly educated women postponing child bearing to
a larger extent than the women with less education, who often have children
at early ages.
In the light of the above discussed revolutionary changes in the thought process
and economy of the world, the position of the female in the society has and
is transforming ..
12.5.2 The Conflict between Employment and Motherhood

Believing and maintaining that the woman is equal to man in all spheres of
life, the woman is expected to show competence at all stages of life. However,
physiologically a woman is supposed to bear children and this role requires
commitment in totality from the mother and any change or disturbance in
fulfiling this role affects' the family.'
The choice of raising a family before or after gaining employment is a relative

. issue taking into account individual and the couple's economic and societal
conditions. The decision to bear children also rests with the options available
to the couple with regard to the following:
1) Nature of work of a woman:

The nature of work of women directly influences the decision of child
bearing as full time worker has to think before bearing a child in
comparison to the part time worker. Full time workers tend to be too busy
to bear and take care for a newborn child. Similarly a woman who is
permanently appointed, with the benefits of maternity leave policy, can
opt for pregnancy more easily in comparison to a woman who is temporary
or contractual appointed or a woman who doesn't have maternity leave
policy benefits.
2) Availability of childcare facility:

A large number of women are working now-a-days and with the increasing
trend of nuclear families, the woman often has to think for childcare
facilities after rejoining her work. The availability of the creches or day
52 care facilities also influence the decision of child bearing.
3) Economic standing of the couple: Child Bearing Families
Now-a-days to rear a child, money is a big concern. Expenditure on child's

basic needs, immunisation, schooling etc. has to be calculated and planned by
the parents before conceiving a child. Sometimes with low monthly income,
some couples postpone the plan of conceiving a child until they earn enough
to fulfil the needs of child.
The other factors that affect the child bearing decision are:
• Status of the woman in the family; and
• Perceived function of the woman by others in the family, social and caste
group.
12.5.3 Unemployment, Uncertainty, Economic Conditions and

First Birth Timing
. In contemporary society parenthood is often deferred due to husband and wife
who feel the need to be more settled and advanced in their careers as compared
, . to others. Times when the wife was happy looking after the home and hearth
and the man would be the breadwinner is changing. The need of higher social
status attainment by the couple leads to postponement of child birth.
The optimal age for a couple to enter parenthood has seen an increase and it
varies from culture, to nation, to ethnic group, to religion, and to individual
life circumstances. The mental and emotional health of the couple also
determines child bearing.
12.5.4 Family Planning/Contraceptives and the First Birth

Postponement
With the advent of oral contraception the choice of birth control has made the
female in a sexual relationship more in control than when she had to depend
on surgical and other devices. The emergence of use of contraception does not
directly delay bearing of children but serves as an assisting factor in reducing
and mitigating risks of unwanted and accidental pregnancies. It gives more
power of decision making relating to timing the family in relationships in and
out of wedlock.
The face of the family is changing. The meaning and implication of relationships
is under transformation as that of the man, his wife and their children. This
change in perspective affects the process of childbearing.

provided below.
1) List down the major conflicts between motherhood and employment.
53
. Family Life Cycle Stages - I
2) Fill up the blanks:
i) In the traditional family system, the man would and the
woman would and of the house.
ii) Women who join the workforce and are actively participating in
money earning: for the family tend to bear children at .
iii) With the advent of the choice of birth control has

made the female in a sexual relationship more in control.
12.6 ROLE OF CARING ADULTS

Depending on the age and stage at which the couple enters parenthood, the
• .Individual tasks of both the husband and wife will overlap with the additional
tasks required after the child is born. For both husband and wife these tasks
include:
1) Learning to be independent and depending on each other for assistance in

fulfilling each other's responsibilities as the need be in running the
household and looking after the baby.
2) Maintaining a strong and mutually satisfying marriage relationship even

when the young child puts demands on parents' time and energy. At
times, either partner, especially father feels neglected at the birth of the
child and this may strain couple relationship.
3) Keeping a balance and maintaining social relationships with the extended

family and the community.
12.6.1 Responsibilities of the Father

Parenthood entails a huge amount of responsibility for both husband and wife.
Each one should have reached a certain level of maturity in accepting the
changes in their roles and functions in the family. The male is seen as the
breadwinner; thus unemployment may prove to be an obstacle in meeting the
needs of the new mother and the baby. The major responsibilities of the father
are:
i) Accepting the responsibility and bringing to consciousness that fatherhood

is demanding and making efforts to fulfil his role as a father.
ii) Learning child care skills.
iii) Doing financial planning with the wife to keep expenditure in check.
iv) Sharing childcare responsibilities with the wife ..
v) Giving physical and emotional support to the wife during childcare.
vi) Helping the wife and independently looking after the infant if the need
arises.
vii) Providing support when the wife or child is sick and be able to seek help
from wider family and community in times of crises.
viii) Become increasingly able to enjoy intimate personal interactions with the
child.
Fig. 12.12: Father has an important role to play in child rearing
ix) Willingness to take assistance, if required, from extended family or outside

agencies to meet the needs and the growing expenditure when wife is on
maternity leave or is a housewife.
x) Unemployed men will look for work and try to attain stability in their
employment. Thus the father should look for and get settled in a job
which can provide him with regular income to take care of the needs of
the wife and newborn.
12.6.2 Responsibilities of the Mother

The major responsiblities of the mother are:
i) Learning childcare skills.
ii) Not feeling hesitant in asking for help in childcare from family members.
iii) Adjusting and making a different routine according to the needs of the
child.
iv) Learning to cope with added work responsibilities of childcare and running
the household.
v) Learning to manage time so as to also look after the needs of the husband
and continue to have a satisfactory married life.
vi) Learning to take time out for herself to pursue hobbies, take rest etc.
vii) Maintaining healthy and cordial relationships with other members of the
joint or extended family.
12.6.3 Role of the Extended Family and Community

The paternal and maternal grandparents are important relatives with whom the
young child comes in contact in addition to the parents. In the nuclear set-up,
the grandparents may be visiting and providing time, energy, physical, emotional
and moral support to the new young parents and the infant. The elder lady is a
key member in training the new mother about ways of childcare and often
takes over the household responsibilities when the new mother is recuperating
; '\' , • '" I.'~+
.,~:"i~'lh~
...: ••r.;":".M .
from the child birth. As the child grows older, the bond between them gets stronger
and they are often the best source of enculturing and socialising the child. The
grandparents often take up the responsibility of childcare when the mother is employed
and cannot physically take up childcare responsibilities.
There are many rites; for "example, namkaran or naming ceremony, chola or
wearing new clothes, mundan Of shaving the head of the child etc. in the Hindus;
Brit Milah, Bar Mitzvah in the Jew community; recitation of Adhan, Aqeeqah in
the Muslim community; Samanera in Buddhist; the naming ceremony and Dastarbandi
in the Sikh community, which are the social ceremonies that initiate the young child
into the social fabric outside the family.
••
Fig. 12.13: Paternal and maternal grantparents play an important role in child rearing.
The community as neighbours and a support system help to serve as an

important alternative to the extended family in taking care of the young child,
in providing assistance and replacing the parents in their absence. The
dormitories in the tribal Indians and the Kibbutz in Israel serve as important
caretakers and socialising agents for the young members of the community.

provided below.
1) List down the major responsibilities of the mother .
..............................................................................................................
..............................................................................................................
..............................................................................................................
2) List down the major responsibilities of the father .
..............................................................................................................
..............................................................................................................
................................................................................ .
56
12.7 TRANSITION FROM BEGINNING STAGE
TO CHILD BEARING STAGE
The birth of the first baby brings about total restructuring of the household
arrangement and functioning. As the newborn is not adjusted to the daily wake-
sleep patterns, the erratic feeding, sleeping and elimination take up most of the time
and energy of the new mother, who is also coping with ldw energy levels, suffering
from post partum conditions and complications; and irregular rest and activity periods.
This requires that the mother and the child should be constantly together throughout
the day and night. As a result the husband may have to opt out of the physical space
that he shared with the wife so that he can have adequate rest to join work the next
day. His routine of rest and work may also be compromised for child care if no
additional help is available to run the household .
•
The presence of the newborn also affects the quality of companionship that the
couple shared with each other and their spending time together and interactions
may only be restricted to talking and discussing about the needs of the new
member in the family.
With the birth of the baby, the economic expenditure of the household increases.
All requirements for food, medicine, immunisation and education have to be
taken care of.
Mothers who have husbands working in

permanent jobs or with stable -work
environments often take a break from
work if alternate childcare is not available
or work part-time if alternate child care
is available for example other family
members in the household. However"
single mothers or those with unemployed
husbands have to continue work with the
same number of working hours.
The new mother may suffer from

complications during child birth and
may be required to take bed rest for a
long time and do minimal activity.
Thus support from other family
members is required.
Mother who is not able to breast feed

the child should look for additional
feeding methods and food supplements.
Fig. 12.14: Family members help in childcare
Sometimes the new born child may not be healthy at the time of birth and may
require additional hospital stay, medication, frequent visits to the hospital, nutritional
changes and modifications in life style.
,/ 57
provided below.
1) State 'True' or 'False' for each of the given statements:
~
i) The birth of the first baby brings about total restructuring of the
household arrangement and functioning .
ii) The presence of the newborn doesn't affect the quality of
companionship that the couple shared with each other .
iii) Mother who is able to breast feed the child should also look for
additional feeding methods and food supplements. . .
•
12.8 POSSIBLE SOURCES OF STRESS FOR THE
CHILD BEARING FAMILY
Stress is a condition relative to the sitr ation of an individual. The members of
the child bearing family can face ress related to the following reasons:
~j
Physical Stressors
i) The young mother is loaded with house work and childcare with ever-
increasing expectations from family members as to the roles of the young
bride, the young mother and as the wife.
ii) Mother's mobility is affected as she needs to be physically present with

the small infant and so may feel stuck up in the house. She may not be
able to go out for shopping and social visits when the child is very young.
iii) Absence of personal space and time for herself as the young child is
always making demands on her time and energy, may make the mother
feel all bound up with housework and childcare.
iv) The young child brings with herself or himself a lot of expectations which
if not met may lead to parental dissatisfaction.
v) The mother after the birth of the baby may develop health issues that
make her unable to lead a healthy and normal life and fulfil all the
multiple roles in the family.
Psychological Stressors
i) A young couple who is newly married and does not know about
contraception and family planning may accidentally get into the family
way. They may feel anxious about their own capabilities and situations
inspite of the immediate family and relatives welcoming and providing
help and support on the arrival of the young one.
ii) Lack of physical, emotional and moral support from spouse and other
family members may give the young mother anxious moments in case of
illness, emergencies and routine child care practices of feeding, cleaning
58 and dressing the baby.
. iii) The nature and quality of the husband-wife interaction patterns change after Child Bearing Families
the child is born. The changes in the communication patterns, amount of time
spent together, changes in the daily routine may prove stressful to both the
partners.
iv) Birth of a sick child may be a source of tension and anxiety for the
parents.
v) Birth of a child with disability will cause anxiety and apprehensions in the
minds of the parents who often either deny or blame themselves for
the cause.
vi) The gender of the newborn may become a source of unhappiness when the
newborn is not of the gender that the parents were expecting .
• vii) The father being away for work and not providing the emotional and moral
support to the new mother may become the cause of stress.
viii) Single parent families due to death of anyone parent put an additional burden
on the single parent, both psychologically and physically in bringing up the
young child.
ix) Postpartum disorders (PPD) and postpartum psychosis can have serious
consequences for the new family just after the baby is born. Psychological
stressors contributing to PPD include stressful life events, marital conflict
and lack of personal support from one's spouse, family and friends. Studies
indicate occurrence of PPD amongst teenage mothers was 2.5 times more
than in older mothers (age 30+ years) as the latter have higher education,
higher occupational levels and higher socio economic status than the
younger counterparts who have less schooling, lower self esteem, lower
occupational levels, lower socio-economic status and less social support.
Economic Stressors
i) Lack of optimal finances to meet the growing needs of the baby may also
be a concern for the couple.
ii) Individual aspirations of both father and mother of accumulating wealth,

raising status of the family, acquiring higher education, having a higher
standard of living, fulfilling other needs and desires may get stifled and
create a sense of underperformance and non achievement.
iii) Parenthood requires a certain amount of commitment with regard to

one's time and efforts, and thus may affect individual aspirations of both the
parents.
Social Stressors
i) The decision and the readiness to start a family with societal pressure will lead
to more negative mental setup.
ii) A young and new bride who is still adjusting with the husband's family may feel
stressed out adjusting to the new set up and also coping with the responsibility
of looking after the young one.
59
Family Life Cycle Stages - I iii) Single parent families of unwed, separated or divorced mother face
additional burden of coping with litigation, social non-acceptance and stigma
in bringing up their children.

provided below.
1) List down the major economic stressors .
..
2) Match the columns:

Column 1 Column 2
i) Social Stressor a) Lack of optimal finances to meet the
growing needs of the baby may be a
concern for the couple.
ii) Economic Stressor b) Postpartum disorders and post partum
psychosis just after the baby is born
can have serious consequence for the
new family.
iii) Psychological Stressor c) The young child brings with herself
or himself a lot of expectations which
if not met may lead to parental
dissatisfaction.
iv) Physical Stressor d) A young and new bride who is still
adjusting with the husband's family
may feel stressed out adjusting to the
new set up and also coping with the
responsibility of looking after the
young one.
12.9 ROLE OF EDUCATION, WOMEN'S

EMPOWERMENT AND MEDIA
The multiple roles of the female in the society place demands on her capacities
and performance. The home or work; career or child demands can be challenging
and full of dilemmas. Enmeshed in the fabric of social customs, traditions and
individual family cultures, the contemporary educated woman strives to achieve
a balance juggling the multiple roles on a day-to-day basis.
60
The awareness and the actual process of acquiring education for employment, for Child Bearing Families
personal growth and empowerment has helped in improving the status of the woman
as a person and as a parent, in the family, in individual's social group, in the
community and in the workplace.
With the structural dissolution of the extended family and the joint family it
rests upon the young couple to take on all responsibilities of the house and
the child. The demarcation of gender roles also softens as the woman of the
house also shares equal responsibility of earning and fending for the growing
family. It becomes imperative for the father to actively participate in childcare.
There is acceptance and openness about this shift in childcare roles in the
society. The proof of this lies in the presentation of materials and programmes
which educate both the parents about the intricacies of childbirth and child
it
care through the print and audio-visual media. There is an increasing trend of
schools providing early childhood care facilities and enrolling parents for
childhood care and education training classes - a model replacing and giving
an alternative support system in the absence of the extended family to the
young couple in the family way.
12.10 LET US SUM UP

In this Unit, we studied about the meaning of family, different types of families and
major functions of the family. We had seen the changing scenario of family. There
are many factors that affect the age of child bearing such as personal influences,
family influences and societal influences. We also studied the major reasons to bear
a child in family that are social expectations, social acceptance, identification, religion,
feeling of accomplishment and ensuring continuity. We also discussed major reasons
of postponement of child bearing stage that are education, fmancial stability, goal
achievements at work place, transformation of family and partnership and family
planning.
When a family opts to bear a child, the role of husband and wife is changed to
father and mother respectively. Although father is perceived as a breadwinner of
family who has to perform activities maximum out of home yet roles are changing
now-a-days. Father's role in child rearing is not less important than mother's role.
At this time extended family also plays an important role. The elder female member
helps the new mother to cope up the situation and to learn child care practices. The
birth of fIrst child brings about total restructuring of household arrangements and
functioning.
Sometimes when newly made parents are not able to cope up with new demands
of family situations, stressors arise. There are number of reasons which may
lead to stress like unplanned parenthood, financial constrains, changes in daily
routine, changes in husband-wife relations, individual aspirations, child illness,
child with special needs or post delivery depression etc. In the end of this
Unit, we discussed the role of education, women empowerment and media on
child bearing families.
61
12.11 GLOSSARY
Contraception Obstacle to fertilisation of the ovum by sperm cell.
Custom A practice followed by people of a particular
group or region.
Mobility State of being in motion.
Mutuality A reciprocity of sentiments.
Post partum disorders Form of clinical stress which affects women after
delivery of child.
Procreation To beget and conceive
, offspring; reproduction.
Stress Human brain response to unpleasant situations
•• which persists for a long period .

.
,
EXERCISES
1) The different types of families are:
i) Nuclear family: It consists of the husband, wife and their children.
ii) Joint family: A joint family is an extension of the family consisting
of the married sons and their children also.
iii) Extended family: An extended family includes members other than
those related by blood and marriage, for example, siblings of the
man or woman may live in the same household.
2) The functions of family are:
• Procreation,
• Regulation of sexual behaviour,
• Taking care of small and young children,
• Taking care of the old and sick,
• Undertaking economic activities,
• Providing a sense of belongingness to the members, and
• Passing culture to the next generation.

Family as a structural unit, has been undergoing change due to ongoing socio-
economic, demographic changes brought about with the technological
advancement. Now-a-days the traditional Indian joint or extended family is
transforming into nuclear households. In India, single parent families are created
mainly due to death of the spouse, divorce or separation .The traditional nuclear
family is also competing with the family setup consisting of individuals
cohabiting without marriage and having children of their own or adopting them.
The traditional man-woman couple has an emerging counterpart,
62·
consisting of same sex partners who adopt or procreate children to complete Child Bearing. Families
their family, in today's world. With changing work opportunities people also
migrate in great numbers and this has added to another major category of individuals
and families; termed as the migrant families across the world and inside each
country.
1) The factors that affect the decision of bearing a child are:

i) Social expectation,
ii) Social acceptance,
iii) Identification,
iv) Religion,
•
v) Getting rid of loneliness,
vi) Feeling of accomplishment,
..
vii) Ensuring continuity, and
viii) For moksha or salvation.
1) The major conflicts between motherhood and employment are:

i) Nature of work of the woman,
ii) Availability of childcare facility,
iii) Economic standing of the couple,
iv) Status of the woman in the family, and
v) Perceived function of the woman by others in the family, society and
caste group.
2) Fill up the blanks:
i) earn, bear children, take care
ii) a later age
iii) oral contraception
1) The major responsibilities of the mother are:
i) Learning childcare skills,
ii) Not feeling hesitant in asking for help in childcare from family members,
iii) Adjusting and making a different routine according to the needs of the
child,
iv) Learning to cope with added work responsibilities of childcare and
running the household,
v) Learning to manage time so as to also look after the needs of the
husband and continue to have a satisfactory married life, and
vi) Learning to take time out for herself - to pursue hobbies, take rest etc.
63
2) The major responsibilities of the father are:
D Accepting the responsibility and bringing to consciousness that fatherhood
is demanding and making efforts to fulfil his role as a father,
ii) Learning child care skills,
iii) Doing financial planning with the wife to keep expenditure in check,
iv) Sharing childcare responsibilities with the wife,
v) Giving physical and emotional support to the wife during childcare,
vi) Helping the wife and independently looking after the infant if the need
anses,
vii) Providing support when the wife or child is sick and be able to seek help
•
from wider family and community in times of crises,
viii) Become increasingly able to enjoy intimate personal interactions with the
child,
ix) Willingness to take assistance, if required, from extended family or outside

agencies to meet the needs and the growing expenditure when wife is
on maternity leave or is a housewife, and
x) Unemployed men will look for work and try to attain stability in their
employment. Thus, the father should look for and get settled in a job
which can provide him with regular income to take care of the needs of
the wife and newborn.

i) True
iD False
iii) False
1) The major economic stressors are:
i) Lack of optimal finances to meet the growing needs of the baby may be
a concern for the couple,
ii) Individual aspirations of both father and mother of accumulating wealth,
raising status of the family, acquiring higher education, having a higher
standard of living, fulfilling other needs and desires may get stifled and
create a sense of underperformance and non achievement, and
iii) Parenthood requires a certain amount of commitment with regard to
ones time and efforts and thus may affect individual aspirations of both
the parents.
2) Match the columns:
Column! Column 2
D Social Stressor d) A young and new bride who is still
adjusting with the husband's family may feel
stressed out adjusting to the new se -up
64
and also coping with the responsibility of Child Bearing Families
looking after the young one.

•
ii) Economic Stressor a) Lack of optimal finances to meet the
growing needs of the baby may be a
concern for the couple.
iii) Psychological Stressor b) Postpartum djsorders and postpartum
psychosis just after the baby is born can
have serious consequence for the new
family.
iv) Physical Stressor c) The young child brings with himself or herself
lot of expectations which if not met may
lead to parental dissatisfaction .
• 12.13 UNIT END QUESTIONS

1) Define and explain the childbearing stage of the family life cycle.
2) Analyse the reasons for the shifting trend of increase in age of the mother
entering the child bearing stage.
3) Read the following profile of a mother and point out the possible causes
of stress for her in the family.
Alka is 28 years old. She is an MBA and was working in a company for
3 years before she got married. Her husband is posted in a remote village
and Alka could not continue her job as she joined her husband after
marriage. The couple have a year old daughter. But Alka feels very
depressed and finds it very hard to take care of her child and husband.
4) Discuss the changing role of the father in the contemporary dual earning
family setup.
5) Describe the changing role of a female who from a young bride has
become a mother in a joint family setup. How can the family in the
present setup help her in fulfilling the role of a mother?

Benzies, K.M. (2003). Advanced maternal age: Are decisions about the timing of
child bearing a failure to understand the risk? [Electronic version]. Canadian Medical
Association Journal, 172(2). 183-184.
Changing fertility patterns: Trends and implications. (2005). Retrieved May

28, 2008, from http:/www.hc-sc.ge.ca/sr- sr/pubs/hpr-rpms/buI1l2005-1O-chang-
fertilitlintro-eng.php.
Cramer, l.C. & McDonald, K.B. (1996). Kin support and family stress: Two
sides to early childbearing and support networks. [Electronic version]. Human
Organization, Summer: 55(22), 160-9.
65
Family Life Cycle Stages - I Hakulinen, T.S. The family dynamics of childbearing and childrearing families,
related family demands and support received from child health clinics
[abstract J.Population & Societies - no. 426, September 2006. POPLINE Document
Number: 139780 .Source citation: DISSERTATION ABSTRACTS
INTERNATIONAL,1999;60(1-C):111.
Huges, F.P. & Noppe, L.D. (19&.5).Human development across life span. Minnesota;
West Publishing Co. "
Mintle. S. Linda. Sources of stress in single parent family. Retrieved on May 20,
2008 from www.crosswalk.com/parenting/515936.
Pocs, Ollie. (1989). Our intimate relationships: Marriage and the family.
Harper & Row Publishers, New York.
• Prasad, Getanjali. (2006). The Great Indian Family. Penguin Books.
Schlesinger Ben. The changing patterns in the Hindu joint family system of
.
, India, Marriage and Family Living, Vol. 23, No. 2 (May, 1961), pp. 170-175,
Published by: National Council on Family Relations.
White.MJames. (1999). Work-Family Stage and Satisfaction with Work -

Family Balance. Journal of Comparative family Studies, Vol.30, 1999. Retrieved on
May 20, 2008 from www.questia.com.
66
UNIT 13 FAMILIES WITH PRESCHOOL
CHILDREN
Structure
13.1 Introduction
13.2 Children in the Family Context
13.2.1 The Family as a Social System
13.2.2 The Family System in Context
13.2.3 Family Life Cycle
13.3 Parenting and Child Outcomes

13.3.1 Elements of Parenting
• 13.3.2 Parenting Style and Child Outcomes
13.3.3 Consequences of Parenting Style for Children
13.3.4 Factors Affecting Parenting Style
13.4 Families with Preschool Children
13.4.1 Developmental Characteristics of Preschool Children
13.4.2 Activities to Promote Development of Preschool Children
13.4.3 Domains of Adjustment in Families with Preschool Children
13.4.4 Roles and Responsibilities of Families with Preschool Children
13.4.5 Challenges and Emerging Issues of Families with Preschool Children
13.4.6 Discipline and Child Outcomes
13.4.7 Disciplinary Techniques for Toddlers and Preschool Children
13.5 Let Us Sum Up

13.6 Glossary
13.1 INTRODUCTION
Children develop in the context of family. It has greatest contribution in the
development of children and has long-lasting impact. Stage-setting and
intervention theories of family as a social system describe direct and indirect
influences of family on children. There is wide range of factors which affect
family relationship in any cultural context. Formal social networks such as
schools and work place, as well as, informal social networks such as neighbours,
friends, relatives and community members provide social and emotional support,
particularly during crisis.
Families once formed go through different stages of life-cycle and period of

transitions. Family members are required to modify their roles when there is
transition from one stage to another stage of family life-cycle. Family
developmental tasks are the responsibilities accomplished by a family at a
given stage of its development.
Parenting is a challenging task and parenting style has great impact in the
domains of social competence, academic performance, psychosocial development
67
Family Life Cycle Stages - I and problem behaviour of children. The benefits of authoritative parenting
style and the negative effects of uninvolved parenting are evident as early as
the preschool years and continue throughout life. For successful parenting and
positive child outcomes, discipline should be firm, fair, and logical. Parenting
skills require that all parents learn effective disciplinary techniques best suited
to their child.
Children of different ages present different challenges and issues for their parents
and families.
Objectives
• Define elements of parenting, parenting style and child outcomes, discipline
• and child outcomes, and factors affecting ·parenting style;
• Identify developmental characteristics of preschool children;
• Discuss challenges and emerging issues of families with preschool children;
and
• Learn disciplinary techniques for toddlers and preschool children.
13.2 CHILDREN IN THE FAMILY CONTEXT

The family is the child's first and longest-lasting context for development.
Families are pervasive and parents are universally important in the lives of
children. Of course, other social settings also mould children's development,
but in power and breadth of influence, none equals the family. Family introduces
children to the physical world through the opportunities it offers for play and
exploration of objects. It also creates bonds between people that are unique.
The attachments children form with parents and siblings usually last a life
time, and they serve as models for relationships in the wider world of
neighbourhood and school. Finally, the family is children's first context for
learning the language, cognitive skills, and social and moral values.
13.2.1 The Family as a Social System

Today, family system theorists recognise that children are not mechanically
shaped by the inputs of others. There exist bi-directional influences in which
the behaviours of each family member affect those of others. The term family
system means that the responses of all family members are interrelated. These
system influences operate both directly and indirectly.
A number of theories have been developed to describe possible linkages between

parent-child and child-child relations. These theories can be divided into two
groups - "stage-setting" and "intervention" theories. These theories propose
direct and indirect pathways of family influence on children's development.
Stage-Setting Theories: These theories describe the indirect influence of parents

on the children's development (Hartup, 1992). Parents do not make deliberate
attempts to modify children's behaviour but "set the stage" for their development.
Indirect influences include the quality of parent-child relationships, early
attachment relationships and the disciplinary techniques used by parents.
68
Family Life Cycle Stages - I relationships. For example, child adjustment problems, particularly those that are related
to parental conflict, are more common in urban than rural setting. Psychological
disturbance is highest in areas where families move often, parks and playgrounds are
scarce, community centres providing leisure-time activities do not exist and visits among
neighbours are rare. In contrast, when family ties to the community are strong as
indicated by frequent contact with friends and relatives - family stress and child
adjustment problems are redueed.
Ties to community reduce family stress and enhance children's development

because social support offers interpersonal acceptance. For example, a neighbour
or relative who listens and tries to relieve a parent's concern enhances self-esteem.
The parents, in turn, are likely to behave more sensitively towards their children.
Social networks have important functions. First, when families experience stress
and strain, social networks affect parenting practices indirectly by reducing mother's
• feeling of depression. Second, social networks often provide access to valuable
information and services. Third, social networks such as friends and relatives may
encourage and demonstrate effective ways of interacting with children and
discourage ineffective practices. Finally, when children interact with their parent's
social networks, other adults can influence children directly through warmth,
stimulation and exposure to a wider range of competent models.

As you have been studying in this Block, there are typical stages through which families
pass. Families once formed, typically enter into a period of growth as children are
born and grow older. As the family life-cycle status shifts, for example, from the early
married to the child-rearing stage, the adult family members are required to modify
their roles. Now they act as both mates and parents. Different demands are made at
each stage of family life cycle and couple's life undergoes significant changes as the
family moves on to a new stage in its life cycle.
The readjustment of role is required when the married pair becomes parents. But one
is always in a continuing process of changing role demands. This is the most important
and drastic shift required. Each shift in family life-cycle status demands a readjustment
in every aspect of the roles of all family members.
Family Developmental Tasks

Family developmental tasks are specific to a given stage of development in the family
life cycle. Family developmental tasks may be seen as those responsibilities that must
be accomplished by a family at a given stage of its development in a way that satisfies
its members.
Each family member' can be viewed as an individual determined to achieve certain

developmental tasks while interacting with other family members.
70
These indirect influences may be the effect of third parties within the family. There Families with Preschool
Children
exist a range of relationships like relationships of mother with father, parent with sibling,
grandparent with parent. These relationships modify the child's direct experiences in
the family. Third parties can serve as effective support for children's development; for
example, when parents are warm and considerate toward each other, mothers and
fathers praise and stimulate their children more and scold them less. m contrast, when
marriage is tense and hostile, parents are likely to criticise and punish. Disputes between
parents over child-rearing issues seem to be very harmful. They are linked to rise in
children's behaviour problems .
Fig. 13.1: Family sets the stage for the development of the child.
When children's development or adjustment is affected by conflicts between their

parents, grandparents may indirectly promote children's development by providing
parents with child rearing advice, models of child rearing skills, and even financial
assistance. Of course, like any indirect influence, grandparents' involvement can
sometimes be negative; when quarrelsome relations exist between grandparents and a
. parent, children may suffer.
Interventionist Theories: Interventionist theories refer to the ways in which parents

have a direct influence on children's behaviour. Direct influences are those through
which parents deliberately try to influence their children's behaviour and development.
For example, to promote social competence of children, parents attempt to design
children's play environments, plan children's social contacts with other children and
supervise their children's interaction with other children. Parents act as 'designers'
when they select a safe neighbourhood to live in where there are a number of children
to play with, 'booking agents' by enrolling their children in child care settings or other
organised activities, 'mediators' when they initiate contacts for their children, and
. 'supervisors' when they directly monitor and supervise their children's interactions
with others (Ladd, 1992).
13.2.2 The Family System in Context

.;.~
, factors which impact

Families exist in a cultural context and there are a range~~f
on parent-child interaction and relationship. Connections'to the community may
be in terms of formal organisation, such as school, work place, day care centre
and a religious group. Family also has connections to informal social networks
of
. .o
relatives, friends and neighbours. These COl. oections infldence parent-child
69
9
Family Life Cycle Stages - I relationships. For example, child adjustment problems, particularly those that are related
to parental conflict, are more common in urban than rural setting. Psychological
disturbance is highest in areas where families move often, parks and playgrounds are
scarce, community centres providing leisure-time activities do not exist and visits among
neighbours are rare. In contrast, when family ties to the community are strong as
indicated by frequent contact with friends and relatives - family stress and child
adjustment problems are reduced.
Ties to community reduce family stress and enhance children's development

because social support offers interpersonal acceptance. For example, a neighbour
or relative who listens and tries to relieve a parent's concern enhances self-esteem.
The parents, in turn, are likely to behave more sensitively towards their children.
Social networks have important functions. First, when families experience stress
and strain, social networks affect parenting practices indirectly by reducing mother's
• feeling of depression. Second, social networks often provide access to valuable
information and services. Third, social networks such as friends and relatives may
encourage and demonstrate effective ways of interacting with children and
discourage ineffective practices. Finally, when children interact with their parent's
social networks, other adults can influence children directly through warmth,
stimulation and exposure to a wider range of competent models.

As you have been studying in this Block, there are typical stages through which families
pass. Families once formed, typically enter into a period of growth as children are
born and grow older. As the family life-cycle status shifts, for example, from the early
married to the child-rearing stage, the adult family members are required to modify
their roles. Now they act as both mates and parents. Different demands are made at
each stage of family life cycle and couple's life undergoes significant changes as the
family moves on to a new stage in its life cycle.
The readjustment of role is required when the married pair becomes parents. But one
is always in a continuing process of changing role demands. This is the most important
and drastic shift required. Each shift in family life-cycle status demands a readjustment
in every aspect of the roles of all family members.
Family Developmental Tasks

Family developmental tasks are specific to a given stage of development in the family
life cycle. Family developmental tasks may be seen as those responsibilities that must
be accomplished by a family at a given stage of its development in a way that satisfies
its members.
Each family member can be viewed as an individual determined to achieve certain

developmental tasks while interacting with other family members.
70
'Stage-Sensitive Family Developmental Tasks through the Family Life-Cycle Families with Preschool
Children
(Duvall, 1977)
Stage of the Positions in the family Stage-sensitive family

family life-cycle developmental tasks
Married couple Wife Establishinga mutually satisfying
marriage.
Husband
. Fitting into the kin network.
Adjusting to pregnancy and
parenthood.
Child bearing Wife-mother Having adjusted to and

encouraging the development
Husband- father
of infants.
• Infant daughter/son or both
Preschool age Wife-mother Adapting to the critical needs
and interests of preschool
Husband- father
.
, children in stimulating,
Daughter-sister growth-promoting ways.
Son-brother Coping with energy depletion
and lack of privacy as parents.
School age Wife-mother Fitting into the community of
Husband-father school age families in
constructive ways.
Daughter-sister
Son-brother Encouraging children's
educational achievement.
Teenage Wife-mother Balancing freedom with
Husband- father responsibility as teenagers
mature.
Daughter-sister
Establishing post parental
Son-brother interests and careers as
growing parents.
Launching WIfe-mother-grandmother
Releasing young adults into
centre Husband-father-
work force.
grandfather
Daughter -sister-aunt Maintaining a supportive
Son-brother-uncle home base.
Middle-aged Wife- mother- Refocussing on the marriage

parents grandmother relationship.
Husband- father- Maintaining a supportive
grandfather home base for younger
generations.
Aging family Widow or widower Coping with bereavement and
members living alone.
Wife- mother-
grandmother Closing the family home or
adapting it to aging.
Husband-father-
grandfather Adjusting to retirement.
71
Family Life Cycle Stages - I Developmental tasks of families with preschool children include adapting to the
critical needs and interests of preschool children in stimulating, growth-promoting
ways; and to cope with energy depletion and lack of privacy as parents.

Note: a) Read the following questions carefullyand answer in the spaceprovided
~
below.
Briefly describe the following:
1) Stage setting theories .
2) Family life cycle.
3) Family developmental tasks.
13.3 PARENTING AND CHILD OUTCOMES

Parenting is a multifaceted activity that includes many specific behaviours that
work individually and together to influence child outcomes and behaviour.
Although specific parenting behaviours, such as spanking and smacking or
love withdrawal, may influence development of the child, looking at any specific
behaviour in isolation may be misleading. It has been noted that specific
parenting practices are less important in predicting child well-being than is the
broad pattern of parenting. Diana Baumrind is one of the best known experts
on parenting styles and in her research she identified the four main parenting
styles known as authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and neglectful or
uninvolved. These parenting styles are described on the basis of elements of
parenting
13.3.1 Elements of Parenting

Two important elements of parenting as described by Maccoby and Martin (1983)
are parental respc nsiveness and parental demandingness.
72
.Parental Responsiveness: Baumrind (1991) explained that parental Families with Preschool
Children
responsiveness is also called parental warmth or supportiveness. Parental
responsiveness refers to the extent to which parents deliberately promote
independence, self-regulation and self-esteem by being supportive, adjusted to,
and accepting to children's special needs and demands.
Parental Demandingness: The term parental demandingness is used to examine

the level to which the parent expects and anticipates a~ore grown up, sensible
and ultimately responsible level and standard of behaviour from their child
(Baumrind, 1991). Some parents establish high standards, while other parents
demand very little and rarely try to influence their child's behaviour. Some
parents are accepting and responsive to their children.
13.3.2 Parenting Style and Child Outcomes

Baumrind (1973, 1977) identified four patterns of parenting style based on the
dimensions of parental responsiveness and demandingness. Here, the four
patterns of parenting style developed by Baumrind are briefly outlined and the
.. effects on children's behaviour are described. These four different styles of
parenting are authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and neglectful or
uninvolved.
1) Authoritative parenting style: Authoritative parents make reasonable

demands for mature behaviour, set limits for children and insist on
obedience. At the same time, they express warmth and affection, listen
patiently to their child's point of view, and encourage participation in
family decision making. Authoritative child rearing is a rational, democratic
approach that recognises and respects the rights of both parents and
children.
Children of authoritative parents are likely to be happy, self confident and

self controlled. They are friendly and cooperative. Research indicates
authoritative parenting is linked to many aspects of competence, emotional
maturity, social and moral maturity, academic achievement and educational
attainment.
2) Authoritarian parenting style: Authoritarian parents are also demanding,

but they place such a high value on conformity that they are unresponsive,
sometimes even rejecting, particularly when children are unwilling to
obey. They engage in very little give-and-take with children, who are
expected to accept an adult's word for what is right in an unquestioning
manner. If the child does not, authoritarian parents resort to force and
punishment. The authoritarian style is clearly biased in favour of parents'
needs; children's self expression and independence are suppressed.
Children of these parents are anxious, withdrawn and unhappy. When

interacting with others, they tend to react with hostility. They are likely
to be angry, defiant, dependent and withdraw from challenging tasks. When
grown up they are less well adjusted than those exposed to an authoritative
style.
3) Permissive parenting style: The permissive style of child rearing is

nurturant and accepting, but it avoids making demands or imposing controls
of any kind. These parents allow their children to make many of their
73
Family Life Cycle Stages - I own decisions at an age when they are not yet capable of doing so. They do
not have to learn good manners or do any household chores. They are permitted
to interrupt and annoy others without any parental restraint.
Children of permissive parents are immature. They have difficulty in controlling

their impulses, are disobedient and rebellious when asked to do something that
conflicted with their momentary desires. They are also over demanding and
dependent on adults. they show less persistentce on tasks at school. They
have poor self control.
4) Uninvolved or neglectful parenting style: Undemanding parenting combined

with indifferentor rejectingbehaviour constitutesthe uninvolved style.Uninvolved
parents show little commitment to caregiving beyond the minimum effort required
to feed and cloth their child. Often these parents are so overwhelmed by the
many pressures and stresses in their lives that these have little time and energy
'" to spare for children.
At its extreme, uninvolved parenting is a form of child maltreatment called neglect.

Especially when it begins early, it affects all aspects of development. Emotionally
detached, depressed mothers who show little interest in their babies have children
who soon show deficits in many domains, including attachment, cognition, and
emotional and social skills. These children are non-compliant and demanding; are
low in tolerance for frustration and emotional control, do poorly in school and are
prone to engaging in delinquent acts.
13.3.3 Consequences of Parenting Style for Children

Parenting style has been found to predict the child's well-being in the domains
of social competence, academic performance, psychosocial development and
problem behaviour. In general, parental responsiveness predicts social competence
and psychosocial functioning, while parental demandingness is associated with
instrumental competence and behavioural control (that is academic performance
and deviance).
Responsive Unresponsive
Demanding Authoritative parent Authoritarian parent
Undemanding Permissive parent Uninvolved parent
Fig. 13.1: A two dimensional classification of parenting styles
Baumrind (1991) and Weiss and Schwarz (1996) found that:

• Children from authoritative families (high in demandingness and high in
responsiveness) rate themselves and are rated by objective measures as
more socially and instrumentally competent than those whose parents are
non-authoritative. These children tend to perform well in school and be
uninvolved in problem behaviour, have good social skills, high self-esteem,
and lower levels of depression.
• Children from authoritarian families (high in demandingness, but low in

responsiveness) tend to perform moderately well in school and be
uninvolved in problem behaviour, but they have poorer social skills, lower
self-esteem, and higher levels of depression.
74
'. Childrenfrom indulgenthomes (high in responsiveness,but low in demandingness) Families with Preschool
Children
are more likely to be involved in problem behaviour and perform average in
school, but they have higher self-esteem, better social skills and lower levels
of depression.
• Children from uninvolved families (low in responsiveness and low in

demandingness) perform poorly in all the domains.
~
The benefits of authoritative parenting and the damaging effects of uninvolved
parenting are evident as early as the preschool years and continue throughout
adolescence and into early adulthood.
13.3.4 Factors Affecting Parenting Style

Parenting styles that is responsive but demanding is the most common pattern
around the world. But there exist differences in parenting style affected by a variety
of factors discussed below.
Family Education and Occupation: An educated parent usually has a more

realistic attitude toward the parenting style. If both the parents are working,
then the parenting style will be different. The child will probably develop an
independent attitude.
Family Background: It denotes the family of the parents. It includes the

family of both the father and the mother. The parenting style is very often
influenced by the way the parents were reared by their parents in the past.
Family Status and Living Standard: Parental status and living standard of
the family plays an important role in the growth and development of the child.
If the child belongs to a rich family from high status, the child will be exposed
to party culture and high status. These parents are able to provide many enriched
experiences to their children. But a child from a poor family has entire differe~t
attitude and exposure to the society.
Family Size: The family has enormous effect on the child's development. If
the child is alone then the parents generally pay extra attention to the child.
But when the child has one or more siblings then the parenting style will be
different.
Health of Family Members: Health of family members and mood of parents

plays an important role in upbringing of children. If anyone of the family
member is suffering from prolonged illness or disease then it may have an
effect on the parenting style. Parents get irritated easily ..
Ethnicity: Ethnicity also affects the parenting style since ethnic groups often
have distinct child-rearing beliefs and practices.
Poverty: Parenting is seriously endangered in poverty ridden families. Poor

families experience many stresses and crises. When daily crises arise, parents
become depressed and irritable. Family conflict rises and parenting becomes
less nurturant and involved, and children's development suffers.
Family Type: Extended family system has more positive impact on parenting
style, particularly in low-income and single parent families. By providing
75
Family Life Cycle Stages - I emotional support and sharing income and essential resources, the extended family
helps reduce the stress of poverty and single parenthood.
Sex of Child: Often parents believe that girls are weaker than boys so they are
more likely to be softer and permissive with girls .
..
Fig. 13.2: Parents dote on their daughters
Parenting style provides a strong indicator of parenting functioning that predicts the
child's well-being across a wide spectrum of environments and across different
groups. Both parental responsiveness and parental demandingness are important
components of good parenting. Authoritative parenting, which balances clear, high
parental demands with emotional responsiveness and recognition of child autonomy,
is one of the most consistent family predictors of competence from early childhood
through adolescence.

provided below.
1) Elements of parenting
2) Authoritative parenting style
76
Families with Preschool
3) Uninvolved parenting style Children
4) > Consequences of parenting style on children
5) Factors affecting parenting style
"
13.4 FAMILIES WITH PRESCHOOL CHILDREN

Three to five or six years old child is often called as preschool child. Preschool children
are making developmental progress and express an interest in the world around them.
They are enthusiastic to learn and to gain inner control. They learn by experiencing
and by doing. They are more independent than toddlers. They can express their needs
through meaningful language. It is important that parents and family members have
understanding of developmental characteristics of preschool children which will help
them guide preschoolers through this stage.
Transition to Preschool Children Family

During the second year when children are able to comply with parental directives,
effective caregivers pace their demands so they fit with children's capacities.
For example, they do not impose a range of "don'ts" on infants. Instead, they
put away breakable objects, place barriers across steep staircases, and physically
remove babies when they behave in ways that endanger themselves or disturb
others.
As children enter preschool age, they explore, ask questions, start new tasks and
imagine. Parents of these children need to be open-minded and ready to grow to
meet the challenging needs of children. They need to change their behaviour in
ways that will be good for preschool children. Families with preschool children
also experience frustration, anger and feelings of inadequacy while socialising
these children.
It is not only that family and parents go through transition; children also go
through transition from one stage to another. Children need to be prepared for a
smooth separation or transition from family to preschool.
13.4.1 Developmental Characteristics of Preschool Children

Below are listed some of the important developmental characteristics of
preschoolers. This information will help parents understand what to expect from
their chuu. 77
Physical Development: Preschool children can run well, march, stand on one
foot, jump, ride tricycle, feed themselves well, put on shoes and socks, unbutton and
button. They are very active in their play, can make designs and write simple letters.
They can cut on a line with scissors and have more fine muscle control. They can ties
shoelaces .
..
Fig. 13.3: Physical development during preschool years is rapid
Social Development: Children during preschool years get involved in parallel and
cooperative play, enjoy being by others, take turns, know if she or he is a girl or boy,
enjoy group activities and respond to verbal guidance. They enjoy a variety of activities,
indoor and outdoor. Boys and girls have similar interests, so will often play together
and share same toys such as dolls or trucks. They are highly social, may play loosely
organised group games. They are talkative and versatile. They are beginning to learn
that others have "rights" as games are played.
Fig. 13.4: The preschool child is aware of his or her gender
Emotional Development: Preschool children's emotions are usually extreme

and short-lived. They are learning to express their feeling with words. They
78.' ('
-v '.
can be aggressive but want friends and enjoy being with other children. They Families with Preschool
Children
appreciate praise for their achievements. They are developing the ability to interpret
the feelings of others. They are capable of some self-criticism. Physical aggression
like hitting others may decrease, however, verbal aggression, like name calling may
increase.
..
Fig. 13.5: Preschool children enjoy being with other children
~age Development: Vocabulary and language skills of preschool childn

Ieveloping quickly. These children have about 2000 words in the
bulary. They can use complete sentences with 5 to 6 words. They can t(
stories, read their own name and ask meaning of words. They kno
~sof colours and want to know more about environment. Their questioi
ewer and more meaningful.
Fig. 13.6: Preschooler can utter complete sentences with 5 to 6 words
Cognitive Development: Preschool children want to explore environment and

answer simple questions. They ask lots of questions, including "how" and
"why" questions. Their questions are often r'irect and r ersonal. They are
79
imaginative and may recite a few nursery rhymes. These children learn best by
doing. They are able to understand some basic concepts such as number, size,
weight, colour. texture, distance, time and position .
..
Fig. 13.7: Preschoolers are able to understand some basic concepts like fruits
Here, you should be able to corelate the theories learnt in Block 1 with this age
group, such as, application of Freud's theory, Piaget's theory, Erikson's theory and
others, to this age group.
13.4.2 Activities to Promote Development of Preschool Children

During preschool years there is rapid development of children. It is the
foundation stage for future development. Parents should provide activities to
promote all round development of children. The activities listed below would
foster development among preschool children.
• Physical and motor development during preschool years is rapid, so

stimulation of motor skills is required. It is important that parents should
provide outdoor and indoor activities for children.
• To help the development of language - stories and rhymes, free

conversation, participation in discussions, field experiences and
dramatisation should be introduced.
• To develop elementary social skills, parents should stress the need to

share toys and play materials. Exposure should also be provided for
adequate care of the home and school property, to greet people and to
thank them whenever it is required.
• Experiences should be provided to develop number, time, colour, form,

and other concepts.
• To promote aesthetic and creativity development, music, dancing and art

activities sh ould also be included.
80
Children
"
Fig. 13.8: Parents should aUow and encourage children to participate in cultural activities
• To promote cognitive development, parents should provide science

experiences and first hand experience for observing animals, trees, flowers,
birds and other natural environment. For exposure of people who work
for the society like doctor, policeman, postman, grocer etc. trips can be
planned.
• Writing readiness is developed by means of a large number of activities

involving paper and pencil. Spontaneous drawing, copying, tracing, filling,
completing are some of the activities used for this purpose. Crayon work,
brush and finger painting, collage work, and work with chalk on the
blackboard etc. are also useful.
There are many more such activities that can be performed with children to
enhance their development.
13.4.3 Domains of Adjustment in Families with Preschool

Children
During preschool years adjustment and happiness of children and family depends
on what happened to children and family during these years. In this sub-
section, different domains of adjustment are explained taking into consideration
the developmental aspects of children and family relationship.
Developmental Domains
Different areas of children's development which need adjustment in families
of preschool children include physical, language and cognitive, social and
emotional, and personality domains.
i) Physical domain: Preschool children are highly susceptible to all kinds of

illness. Sickly children fall behind in their physical and motor skills. As
a result, they find they are misfit in the play group. Children are also
prone to accidents, awkwardness and obesity. If parents blame children
for these negative aspects of physical domain, it will make children tense
81
Family Life Cycle Stages - I and nervous. Parents need to immunise their children to protect them from
illnesses and need to take care of their health and diet so that adjustment is
good in peer group, school and family.
ii) Language and cognitive domain: Language is a tool for communication

and is essential for social acceptance. Children, who cannot communicate
with others, will be socially unaccepted, and this will lead to feelings of
inadequacy and inferiority. Once parents find that their child has poor language
skills or that their child has speech disorder, they should consult the expert and
provide stimulating environment to overcome problems associated with poor
speech.
iii) Social domain: Children with poor language skills and poor emotional control
are likely to be rejected by their peers in a social group. These children will
not only feel lonely, even more important, they will be deprived of opportunities
,.
to learn to behave in peer approved manner. As a result of the treatment they
receive from peers, they may develop unhealthy social attitudes. Parental
guidance and a stimulating environment are very crucial to overcome some of
.
, these problems and for better adjustment in family and preschool.
iv) Emotional domain: The major emotional hazard of preschool years is the
dominance of the unpleasant emotions, especially anger. If children
experience too many of unpleasant emotions and very few of the pleasant
ones, it will distort their outlook on life and encourage the development
of an unpleasant disposition. This is likely to lead to negative parent-child
relationship since parents may assess their child as one with a difficult
temperament. These parents need to be very careful in their parenting
practices to protect their child from the damage of negative emotions.
Parents should try to make family atmosphere cheerful and happy so that
children will learn to make their contributions to maintain this atmosphere.
v) Personality domain: One of the most serious personality hazards during

early childhood is the development of an unfavourable self-concept.
Unfavourable self-concepts once developed, are hard to overcome. Many
parents fail to recognise that young children are developing unfavourable
self-concepts or they believe that children will "outgrow"these self-
concepts as they grow older and as their social horizons broaden.
Parents need to maintain vigil in developmental aspects of their children and

work bestto eliminate habits and attitude which predispose children to act in
a socially unacceptable manner and protect therri from developing a distorted
personality. Parents should make realistic aspirations in accordance with their
capabilities. Success in these tasks will foster favourable a self-concept in
children.
Family Relationship Domain

Parents are the most significant persons in the life of children. Deterioration
in family relationship is hazardous to good personal and social development.
In some families boys are preferred. Girls in these families will resent their
parents and also their brothers. For boys the major threat to family relationship
is the lack of a father to identify with or the lack of emotional warmth between
father and son.
82
Family relationships are also affected by step-parents, if bonding between children Families with Preschool
Children
and step-parents is poor. During these years sibling quarrelling is caused by jealousy
or by differences in interests among siblings. It can have negative impact on children's
adjustment and development because it can deprive them of companionship at an
age when their social world is limited mainly to family and when socially approved
behaviour is learned. Children can carry their habit to peer group which can endanger
their chances for making friends.
Child-abuse in the family is also one of the serious family-relationship hazards. This
may take forms varying from mild abuse in the form of slap to such serious abuse
as to lead to permanent disability in the child.
13.4.4 Roles and Responsibilities of Families with Preschool

Children
• During preschool years there is rapid development of children. It is the
foundation stage for future development. Role of parents is to provide activities
to promote all round development of children. During preschool years children
.. spend most of the time in the family with their parents, siblings and grand
parents. These children are sent to preschools, balwadis or anganwadis for
informal preschool education. This is the first time when they are away from
their parents. Parents should remember that all preschoolers are different and
reach the various stages at different times. Here, you may recall the theories
that you studied in Block 1 and and try to integrate the same with the preschool
age period. Some children may achieve various developmental milestones
earlier or later than the average. Parents have to teach children to carry out
some responsibility and to get along with other children.
During preschool years parents need to teach children the concept of right and
wrong, how to respect the rights of others, which behaviours are acceptable
and which are not, with a goal of helping to develop a child who feels secure
and loved, is self-confident, self-disciplined and knows how to control impulses,
and who does not get overly frustrated with the normal stresses of everyday
life.
Family Acts as the First School for Children

Family is the first school for children and parents are their children's first
teachers. It is important that parents give time and take interest in children's
activities. It can be done through:
• Read together: When adult family members read to their children or

listen to them on a regular basis, achievement of children improves.
• Establish a famiiy routine: Routines generally include time for completing

homework, doing chores, eating meals together, and going to bed at an
established time. These daily events are important to make life predictable
for children and satisfying for all family members. Parents should
encourage their child's efforts and help her or him in academic work and
spend time discussing what she or he has learned.
• Use television wisely: Limit the amount of time children spend watching
television and help them choose appropriate programs for viewing. When
choosen carefully, some TV programs can help increase interest in learning.
83
Family Life Cycle Stages" I • Keep in touch with the school: Parents should get to know what their
children are learning, what their assignments are, and how they are doing.
Keep in touch with school teacher through parent-teacher conferences or a
telephone call to discuss children's progress.
• Offer praise and encouragement: Parents and families play an important role
in influencing a child's confidence and motivation to become a successful
~
learner. Encourage them to complete assignments and introduce them to outside
experiences that will enhance their self-confidence.
13.4.5 Challenges and Emerging Issues of Families with

Preschool Children
Children of different ages present different sets of challenges and issues for
their parents and families. During the first year excessive irritability,
sleeplessness and feeding problems are likely to dominate parents concerns.
During the second year, when the child has become mobile and self aware,
possibility of physical harm, destructiveness and aggression overpower earlier
.
,
worries. By the third year, parents are concerned about disobedience, resistance
to routine, poor social skills and slow growth of verbal ability.
Parents of preschool children expect their children to develop cognitive skills,

sociability, security, self confidence, obedience and control of aggression during
early years of preschool. A little later, parents hope to see gains in independence,
autonomy, motivation for mastery, a willingness to compete with others and
defend the self against attack and domination.
Parents believe that the early development of these qualities will help their
children to adapt to the social and cognitive challenges which they will confront
as they grow old. If a preschool child is too timid with other children, the
mother may initiate a play group. If the child is too dependent on the mother
she will encourage the child to play alone.
All parents sometimes have to deal with some child behaviour problems.
Young children can develop many behaviours that may trouble or annoy their
parents such as whining, poor eating habits, hitting, biting and kicking, and
interrupting.
i) Whining: Nearly all children express whining at some time or another.

The best way to handle whining is to ignore it as much as possible.
Giving in to whining can teach children that whining is an effective
means of getting what they want. Consistency is extremely important if
parents are to eliminate or reduce whining in their home.
ii) Poor eating habits: Food battles are among the most common child
behaviour problems. Eating habits begin forming during infancy and it is
important for parents to offer healthy foods consistently and repeatedly.
An eating schedule is also important.
iii) Hitting, biting, and kicking: Preschool children sometimes express feelings
of frustration or anger. Children who hit, bite and kick need to be taught
gently that those behaviours are unacceptable. Parents may use time-outs
to discourage aggressive behaviour, but they should never hit their children
as punishment for this behaviour.
84
. iv) Interrupting: Interrupting is also one of the most annoying child behaviour Families with Preschool
Children
problems. Children have a lot to say and they want to say it now, even
when their parents are busy. Children need to be encouraged to wait,
rather than interrupt, but remember that they can only wait for short periods
of time. •.
13.4.6 Discipline and Child Outcomes ~

Disciplinary techniques used by parents play important role in children's development
These disciplinary styles can be considered to be embedded within the styles of
parenting described by Baumrlnd (1973, 1977). Brody and Shaffer (1982) report
three general categories of parental discipline, these are:
Power Assertion: Power assertion involves use of commands, physical power, or

• deprivation of privileges to control children's behaviour .
Love Withdrawal: In this type of discipline parents use negative techniques such
as ridicule, expression of dislike or disappointment and isolation of the child in order
'.
to threaten the child with loss of parental love .
.Induction: In this type of discipline parents use reasons and explanations so that
children can understand the rationale underlying the parents' reasons for engaging
in or for prohibiting certain behaviour patterns.
Children of parents who use inductive disciplinary strategies display less

disruptive behaviour than those who have power assertive parents. Children who
experience coercive control at home are more likely to display aggressive
behaviour in peer interactions. Children may model the aggressive behaviour of
their parents in peer interaction and use unfriendly strategies which lead to peer
rejection.
For effective parenting and positive child outcomes, discipline should be firm,
fair and friendly. Firm means consequences should be clearly stated and then
adhered to when the inappropriate behaviour occurs. Fair means, the
punishment should fit the misdeed or inappropriate behaviour. Also in the
case of recurring behaviour, consequences should be stated in advance so the
child knows what to expect. Harsh punishment is not necessary. Use a friendly
but firm communication style when letting children know they have behaved
inappropriately and let them know they will be responsible for the consequences
of their behaviour. Encourage them to try to remember what they should do
instead to avoid future consequences. Also praise them for appropriate
behaviour.
13.4.7 Disciplinary Techniques for Toddlers and Preschool

Children
Parenting skills require that all parents learn effective disciplinary techniques which
are best suited to their child. Discipline is not the same as punishment. Instead,
discipline has to do more with teaching.
Disciplinary Techniques for Toddlers

Toddlers are curious by nature. They try to experiment with everything they
get. So it's wise to eliminate temptations, especially cleaning supplies and
85
medications should be kept well out of their reach. They easily get irritated if
they are disturbed in their activities. Following are some of the techniques to
discipline toddlers:
i) Change the activity: When children start doing something wrong, stop them.
It is important to explain why they are stopped. Suggest something else they
can do. For example, if they want to scribble on the wall, give them paper to
scribble on instead.
ii) Ignore: Some misbehaviour is done to get parental attention. The best way to
deal with this is to ignore it. Pay attention to good behaviour. Children need
attention for good behaviour, not for misbehaviour.
ill) Be firm: Be clear and firm when you tell the child what she or he needs to
• do. Tone of parents' voice can show that they mean what they say.
iv) Use words: Talk calmly with the child. Ask the child what happened and
why. Then talk about ways to work out the problem. Try to find an answer
that you both like. This helps the child learn to be responsible for her or his
behaviour.
v) Active listening: Since toddlers are not very verbally skilled, using active
listening with them relies more on "hearing" what they are saying through
their actions, than does on listening to their words. It's a way of letting
them know what parents understand about children's feelings, and it's a
way of helping children clarify how they feel.
vi) No physical punishment: Toddlers are unable to make connection between

their behaviour and physical punishment. They will only feel the pain of
the hit. It's important not to spank, hit or slap a child of any age. It is
important to note that children learn by watching adults, particularly their
parents. Parents are the role-model for their children.
vii) Set physical limit: It is difficult for toddlers to understand only words,
follow up verbal limits with physical limits. A physical limit is imposed
when a child is stopped to do an activity, for example, from drawing on
the wall. Physical limits like removing the pen from child's hand are
different from physical disciplinary techniques like slapping the child.
Physical disciplinary techniques are not good with one exception,
sometimes toddlers need to be physically restrained. Physical restraint is
like a very strong hug and, without hurting a child, simply restrains her
or him until she or he can calm down.
viii) Provide choices: Choices are a part of daily life with toddlers and they
are an essential part of teaching them discipline. Giving children choices,
teaches them that they are entitled to opinions and that they have some
say in their own life. It shows them respect and it demonstrates parental
trust. The more experience they have with making choices at a young age,
the better they'll do when they're teenagers faced with larger and more
life-threatening choices.
ix) Natural consequences: Toddlers are rarely logical enough to understand

logical consequences, so the best approach is to allow and point out
86
natural consequences. For example, "You hit Swati, now Swati is sad and Families with Preschool
Children
crying, and she doesn't want to play with you anymore today."
x) Time-outs: A time-out is a way of separating the child from the moment,

person or object that is causing the trouble. Time-outs can be effective discipline
for toddlers. A child who has been hitting, biting, or throwing food, for example,
should be told why the behaviour is unacceptable and taken to a designated
time-out area, such as a chair, for a minute or two to calm down (longer
timeouts are not effective for toddlers).
Disciplinary Techniques for Preschoolers (3 to 6 Years)

As the child grows and begins to understand the connection between actions and
consequences, parents should start communicating the rules of family to their preschool
children. Some of the disciplinary techniques for preschoolers are:
i) Set the rules and be consistent: The earlier that parent set the rules and
explains them to their children, the better for everyone. Consistency is the key
.. to effective discipline, and it's important for parents to decide what the rules
are and then uphold them.
ii) Reward good behaviour: Discipline is not just about punishment but also
about recognising good behaviour. For example, saying "I'm proud of you for
sharing your toys at playgroup" is usually more effective than punishing a child
for the opposite behaviour, that is, not sharing.
Fig. 13.9: Reward good behaviour to incorporate good habits
iii) Natured consequences: When children see 'the natural consequences of their
actions, they experience the direct results of their choices. But be sure the
consequences do not place them in any danger. Children will learn best when
they learn for themselves and will not blame their parents for the consequences
they receive. Natural consequences work best, but they are not always
appropriate. For preschool children, parents need to step in and create a
consequence that is closely connected to their ac~ions. When this method is
,used, it is important that parents mean what they say. They should let their
child know that they are serious.
87
, Family Life Cycle Stages - I iv) Make a behaviour chart: If a child continues to misbehave or displays an
unacceptable behaviour, make a chart with a box for each day of the
week. Keep a track of the good and unacceptable behaviours every day.
This will give the child and parent a concrete look at how it's going. Once
this begins to work, praise the child for learning to control misbehaviour.
v) Time-outs: Time-out! also work well for preschool children. Establish a

suitable timeout place that's free of distractions and will force the child to
think about how- she or he has behaved. Consider the length of time that
will best suit the child's age until child is calmed down (to teach self-
regulation).
Guidelines for Healthy Parent-Child Relationships

Healthy and positive parent-child relationship promotes children's development.
•
Good quality of parent-child relation is exhibited in the manner parents support
their children through warmth, sensitivity and encouragement. Their
expectations from their children are based on developmental level of children
and they understand that every child is unique and respect their children as an
individual and give them unconditional love which is not based on their
achievements.
Through interactions with parents and other significant caregivers, children

learn to develop social skills that they transfer from the home to the school
context while interacting with peers and other adults. Positive parent-child
relationship promotes prosocial behaviour in children and is associated with
their social and academic performance in school. When parents give quality
time to their children, show warmth and affection, and develop close
relationships with their children, their children are less likely to have social or
emotional problems in school and with their peers.
• Parents should never disagree about discipline in front of their children.

• Parents should be consistent in discipline, that is, reward or punish the
same behaviour in the same manner as much as possible.
• Parents and children must agree on what behaviour is desirable and not
desireable.
• All should agree on how to respond to undesirable behaviour.
• Parenst should make it as clear as possible what the child is to expect if
he or she performs the undesireable behaviour.
• Parents should look for gradual changes in behaviour and should not
expect too much. Praise the behaviour which is coming closer to the
desired goal.
• If one of the parents is disciplining a child, the other person should not
step in on the argument in progress.
• Parents should remember that their behaviour serves as a model for their
children's behaviour.
• Parents should reward desirable behaviour as much as possible by verbal
praise, touch or something tangible such as a toy.
• Parents should give quality time to their children and try to set aside time
88 on a regular l:asis to do something enjoyable with their child.
• Parents should never give an order, request or command without being able Families with Preschool
Children
to enforce it at the time.
• Both the parents should have an equal share in the responsibility of discipline
as much as possible .
.
provided below.
I) Transition to family with preschool children
..............................................................................................................
4
..
2) Social and emotional development of preschool children
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• '\ ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• 0
3) Family relationship domain of adjustment
4) Challenges of families with preschool children
5) Disciplinary techniques for toddlers
6) Disciplinary techniques for preschool children
89
13.5 LET US SUM UP
In this Unit, we have learnt that the family is the child's first and longest-
lasting context for development. It creates bonds between people that are unique.
Grandparents play important role in children's lives and may indirectly promote
children's development by 12rovidingparents with child rearing advice, models of
child rearing skills and even financial assistance. Family also has connections to
informal social networks of relatives, friends and neighbours in the community.
These connections influence parent-child relationships and reduce family stress and
enhance children's development. There are typical family life stages through which
each family passes. Family developmental tasks are specific to a given stage of
development in the family life cycle. We have studied that it is not only that family
and parents go through transitions; children also go through a transition from one
• stage to another. Children need to be prepared for a smooth separation or transition
from one stage to another. Parents should remember that all children are different
and reach the various stages at different times. Some children may achieve various
developmental milestones earlier or later than the average. We discussed that parent-
child relationship is an important aspect in children's development. This relationship
is bi-directional in nature, that is, parents influence the behaviour of children and
children influence the behaviour of their parents.
Further, we learnt about the parenting style and disciplinary techniques used by
parents. Parents play an important role in children's development. For effective
parenting and positive child outcomes, discipline should be firm, fair, and friendly.
The benefits of authoritativeparenting and the damaging effects of uninvolved parenting
are evident as early as the preschool years and continue throughout adolescence
and into early adulthood. There exist differences in parenting style affected by
.variety of factors such as education and occupation of parents, family background,
family size, health of family members, ethnicity, poverty, family type and sex of child.
For promoting development of children, parents should give them quality time and
take interest in their school related activities.
During preschool years adjustment and happiness of children and family depends
on what happened to children and family during these years. Adjustment of
families with preschool children is required in developmental domains and
family relationship domain. During preschool years children spend most of the
time in the family with their parents, siblings, and grand parents. Role of
parents is to provide activities to promote all round development of children.
At the end of the Unit, we have studied that children of different ages present
different sets of challenges and issues for their parents and families. During
preschool years families face the challenges like disobedience, whining,
resistance to routine, poor social skills and slow growth of verbal ability,
hitting, biting, and kicking. Finally, we have studied some of the important
disciplinary techniques for toddlers and preschoolers such as ignoring, active
listening, setting physical limits, providing choices, setting rules and being
consistent, and rewarding good behaviour.
90
13.6 GLOSSARY Children
Active listening Carefully hearing what children are saying

through their actions than listening to their words
only.
Bi-directional Bi-directional meansjhat parents influence the
behaviour of children and children influence the
behaviour of their parents.
Discipline Technique to teach children what is right and
what is wrong.
Egocentric Self-centered,
Family developmental tasks: Family developmental tasks are those
responsibilities that must be accomplished
by a family at a given stage of its
development in a way that satisfies its
members.
Family life-cycle Stages through which family go. Families
once formed, typically enter into a period of
growth as children are born and grow older.
Firm Consequences should be clearly stated and
then adhered to when the inappropriate
behaviour occurs.
Induction Use of reasoning and explanation to make
the child understand.
Interventionist theories Interventionist theories refer to the ways in
which parents have a direct influence on
children's behaviour.
Natural consequences Consequences of children's actions which
they experience directly.
Parenting Parenting is a multifaceted activrty that
includes many specific behaviours that
influence child outcomes and behaviour.
Parental responsiveness Parental warmth or supportiveness.
Parental demandingness Parental demandingness is used to examine
the level to which the parent expects and
anticipates a more grown up and responsible
behaviour from their child.
Power assertion Use of commands and physical punishment to
control children.
Preschool child Three to five year old child.
Stage-setting theories Theories that describe the indirect influence
of parents on the children's development.
Time-out A way of separating the child from the
moment, person or object that is causing the
trouble.
91
r
EXERCISES
1~ Stage setting theories

These theories descri6e the indirect influence of parents on the children's
development. Parents do not make deliberate attempts to modify children's
behaviour but "set the stage" for their development. Indirect influences
include the quality of parent-child relationships, early attachment
relationships and the disciplinary techniques used by parents.
2) Family life cycle

'" There are typical stages through which families pass. Families once formed,
typically enter into a period of growth as children are born and grow
older. As the family life-cycle status shifts, for example, from the early
.. married to the child-rearing stage, the adult family members are required
to modify their roles and responsibilities.
3) Family developmental tasks

Family developmental tasks are specific to a given stage of development
in the family life cycle. Family developmental tasks may be seen as those
responsibilities that must be accomplished by a family at a given stage of
its development in a way that satisfies its members. Each family member
is determined to achieve certain developmental tasks while interacting
with other family members.
1) Elements of parenting
Two important elements of parenting are parental responsiveness and
parental demandingness. Parental responsiveness refers to the extent to
which parents deliberately promote independence, self-regulation, and self-
esteem by being supportive, adjusted to, and accepting to children's special
needs and demands. The term parental demandingness is used to examine
the level to which the parent expects and anticipates a more grown up,
sensible and ultimately responsible level and standard of behaviour from
their child.
2) Authoritative parenting style

Authoritative' parents are warm and affectionate, and place high demands
on their children. They use reasoning and explanations with their children;
they set rules and limits, but children have choices within limits. They
foster self-control in children, but, not by bribing or punishing.
3) Uninvolved parenting style

Undemanding parenting combined with indifferent or rejecting behaviour
constitutes the uninvolved style. Uninvolved parents show little
commitment to caregiving beyond the minimum effort required to feed
and cloth their child. Often these parents are so overwhelmed by the
92
many pressures and stresses in their lives that these have little time and energy Families with Preschool
Children
to spare for children. At its extreme, uninvolved parenting is a form of child
maltreatment called neglect.
4) Consequences of parenting style on children

Children of authoritative parents are independent, imaginative, confident,
cooperative, trustworthy and socially responsible. ~
Children of authoritarian parents are anxious, withdrawn and unhappy. They

are likely to be angry, defiant, dependent and withdraw from challenging tasks.
When grown up they are less well adjusted than those exposed to an
authoritative style.
Children of permissive parents are immature. They have difficulty in controlling

• their impulses, are disobedient and rebellious when asked to do something that
conflicted with their momentary desires. They are also over demanding and
dependent on adults. They have poor self control.
, .
Children of neglectful parents show deficits in many domains, including
attachment, cognition emotional and social skills. These children are
noncompliant and demanding; are low in tolerance for frustration and
emotional control, do poorly in school and are prone to engaging in
delinquent acts.
5) Factors affecting parenting style

Parenting style that is responsive but demanding is the most common
pattern around the world. There exist differences in parenting style affected
by a variety of factors such as education and occupation of parents, family
background, family size, health of family members, ethnicity, poverty,
family type and sex of the child.
1) Transition to family with preschool children

As children enter preschool age, they explore, ask questions, start new
tasks and imagine. Parents of these children need to be open-minded and
ready to grow to meet the challenging needs of children. They need to
change their behaviour in ways that will be good for preschool children.
Families with preschool children also experience frustration, anger and
feelings of inadequacy while socialising these children.
2) Social and emotional development of. preschool children

Children during preschool years get involved in parallel and cooperative
play, enjoy being by others, take turns, know if she or he is girl or a boy,
enjoy group activities and respond to verbal guidance. Boys and girls
have similar interests, so will often play together and share same toys
such as dolls or trucks. They are talkative and versatile. They are beginning
to learn that others have "rights" as games are played.
Preschool children's emotions are usually extreme and short-lived. They

are learning to express their feelings with words. They can be aggressive
but want friends and enjoy being with other children. They appreciate 93
l,"amily Life Cycle Stages - I praise for their achievements. They are developing the ability to interpret the
feelings of others. They are capable of some self-criticism. Physical aggression
like hitting others may decrease but the verbal aggression, like name calling
may increase.
2) Family relationship domain of adjustment

Parents are most significant persons in the life of children. Deterioration
in family relationship is hazardous to good personal and social development.
In some families boys are preferred. Girls in these families will resent
their parents and also their brothers. For boys the major threat to family
relationship is the lack of a father to identify with or the lack of emotional
warmth between father and son. Family relationships are also affected by step-
parents if bonding between children and step-parents is poor. Duririg these
years sibling quarrelling is caused by jealousy or by differences in interests
• among siblings.
3) Challenges of families with preschool children

Children of different ages present different sets of challenges and issues for
their parents and families. By the third year, parents are concerned about
disobedience, resistance to routine, poor social skills, and slow growth of
verbal ability.
All parents sometimes have to deal with some child behaviour problems.
Young children can develop many behaviours that may trouble or annoy
their parents such as whining, poor eating habits, hitting, biting, kicking,
and interrupting.
4) Disciplinary techniques for toddlers

Toddlers are curious by nature. They try to experiment with everything
they get. So it's wise to eliminate temptations, especially cleaning supplies
and medications should be kept well out of their reach. Some of the
techniques to discipline toddlers include changing the activity, ignoring
the behaviour, using words) active listening, setting limits, providing
choices and avoiding physical punishment. Natural consequences and time-
outs are also good disciplinary techniques for toddlers. .
5) Disciplinary techniques for preschool children

As the child grows and begins to understand the. connection between
actions and consequences, parents should start communicating the rules
of family to their preschool children. Disciplinary techniques effective for
preschool children are setting the rules and be consistent, rewarding good
behaviour, making a behaviour chart and using. natural and logical
consequences. Time-outs also work well for preschool children.

1) Discuss family as a social system.
2) Briefly describe family life cycle with transitions in the family.
3) Explain the consequences of parenting styles for children.

94
4). Describe the factors affecting parenting style. Families with Preschool
Children
5) Briefly describe the developmental characteristics of preschool children.
6) Explain the domains of adjustment in families with preschool children.
7) .Discuss the roles and responsibilities of families with preschool children.
8) What are the different challenges and issues Of families with preschool
children?
9) Explain the disciplinary techniques for toddlers and preschoolers.

Balda, S. (1997). Socialisation experiences and prescool-aged Children's Social
• Problem Solving Skills in Australia and India: A Cross-Cultural Study. A thesis
submitted in fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy,
Queensland University of Technology, Brisbane, Queensland, Australia.
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Balda, S., Singh, C. K. & Dhanda, B. (2003). Theory Manual on Planning and
Implementation of Early Childhood Programme. Department of Human
Development and Family Studies, COHS, CCS HAU, Hisar.
Baumrind, D. (1973). The development of instrumental competence through

socialization. In A. D. Pick (Ed.), Minnesota Symposium on Child Psychology
(Vol. 7, pp. 3-46). Minneapolis: University of Minnesota Press.
Baumrind, D. (1977). Socialization and instrumental competence in young

children. In E. M. Hetherington & R. D. Parke (Eds.), Contemporary
readings in child psychology (pp. 296-308). New York: McGraw-Hill Book
Company.
Baumrind, D. (1991). The influence ofparenting style on adolescent competence

and substance use. Journal of Early Adolescence, 11(1), 56-95.
Berk, L.. E. (2002). Child Development (Sixth Edition). Boston : Allyn and
Bacon.
Brody, G. H., & Shaffer, D. R. (1982). Contributions of parents and peers to

children's moral socialization. Developmental Review, 2, 31-75.
Cole, M., Cole, S. R., & Lightfoot, C. (2005). The Development of Children
(Fifth Edition). New York: Worth Publishers.
Duvall, E. M. (1977). Marriage and Family Development (5th Edition). New

York: Harper & Row.
Gurian, A. (2004). The preschool years: (ages four and five) Expectations and
challenges. Retrieved August 10, 2009 from http://www.aboutourkids. orgl
articles Ipreschoolyears_agesJourJive_expectations_challenges.
Hartup, W. W. (1992). Peer relations in early and middle childhood. In V. B.

van Hasselt & M. Hersen (Eds.), Handbook of social development: A. lifespan
perspective (pp. 257-281). New York: Plenum Press.
Hauser-Lindstrom, D.& Steinfelt, V. (1998). Ages and stages: 4 to 8 year olds.

Cooperative Extension, College of Agriculture and Life Sciences, The University
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Family Life Cycle Stages - I of Arizona. Retrieved October 10, 2008 from http://ag.arizona.edulpubslfamily/
azl036.html.
Hurlock, E. B. (1980). Developmental Psychology: A Life-span Approach (5th

Ed.). New Delhi: Tata McGraw-Hill Publishing Company Ltd.
Ladd, G. W. (1992). Themes and theories: Perspectives on processes in family-

peer relationships. In R~ D. Parke & G. W. Ladd (Eds.), Family-Peer
Relationships: Modes of Linkage (pp. 3-34). Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum
Associates.
Lemme, B. H. (1985). Development in Adulthood. Boston: Allyn & Bacon.
Maccoby, E. E., & Martin, J. A. (1983). Socialization in the context of the family:
Parent-child interaction. In P. H. Mussen (Ed.) & E. M. Hetherington (Vo!. Ed.),
• Handbook of Child Psychology (Vol. 4): Socialization, Personality, and Social
Development (4th ed., pp. 1-101). New York: Wiley.
Malley, C. (1991). Effective discipline for young children. Retrieved August 10,
.. 2009 from http://www.keepkidshealthy.comlcgi-bin/extlink.pl ?l = http://
www.nncc.org/ Guidance/effect.disc.html.
Mussen, P. H., Conger, J. S., Kagan, S. & Huston, A. C. (1984). Child

Development and Personality. New York: Harper and Row Publishers.
Smart, L. S. & Smart, M. S. (1980). Families Developing Relationships. New

York: Macmillan Publishing Company.
Weiss, L. H., & Schwarz, J. C. (1996). The relationship between parenting

types and older adolescents' personality, academic achievement, adjustment,
and substance use. Child Development, 67(5), 2101-2114.
96
MCFT-001
Human Development and Family Relationships
BLOCK 1 HUMAN DEVELOPMENT: THEORETICAL APPROACHES

UNIT 1 Introduction to Human Development
• UNIT 2 Biological Perspectives
UNIT 3 Psychoanalytic Theories
UNIT 4 Cognitive, Learning and Intelligence Theories
UNIT 5 Humanistic, Ethological and Contextual Theories
BLOCK 2 THE FAMILY: THEORETICAL PERSPECTIVES

UNIT 6 Diversity in Family Forms
UNIT 7 Family Dynamics: Mapping Family Relationships
UNIT 8 Family Theories-I
UNIT 9 Family Theories - 11
BLOCK 3 FAM ILY LIFE CYCLE STAGES - I

UNIT 10 Family Life Cycle
UNIT 11 Marriage and the Beginning Family
UNIT 12 Child Bearing Families
UNIT 13 Families with Preschool Children
,
BLOCK 4 FAMILY LIFE CYCLE STAGES-II
UNIT 14 Families with Elementary and Middle School Children
UNIT 15 Families with Teenagers
UNIT 16 Launching and Contracting Families
UNIT 17 Families with Middle-aged Parents and Aging
Family Members
BLOCK 5 MANUAL FOR SUPERVISED PRACTICUM (MCFTL-001)

MPDD - IGNOU I P.O.2T / March, 2010
ISBN - 978 - 81- 266 - 4591- 6

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I~I Indire Gandhi National Open University

VI National Centre for Disability Studies MCFT-001

FAMILY LIFE CYCLE STAGES - I 3

"Education is a liberating force, and in our age

Prof. Girishwar Misra Prof. Mathew Verghese Prof. Manju Mehta

Prof. Shagufa Kapadia Prof. Reeta Sonawat Prof Ahalya Raghuram

Prof. Rajni Dhingra Prof T.B. Singh Prof Sudha Chikkara

Prof. Minhotti Phukan Mrs. Vandana Thappar Dr. Indu Kaura

Prof. Vibha J oshi Prof. c.R.K. Murthy Mr. Sangmeshwar Rao

Dr. Neerja Chadha Dr. Amiteshwar Ratra

PROGRAMME COORDINATORS - M.Se. (CFT) / PGDCFT

Unit 13 Prof. Shanti Balda, CCS HAU, Hisar

Dr. Neerja Chadha Dr. Amiteshwar Ratra

Preparation of art work and cover design: Mls Tamal Basu.

Fig. 10.1: The Beginning family

3) Families with preschool children,

7) Families in the middle years, and

A typical Indian family begins with marriage. Marriage forms an early

Check Your Progress Exercise 2

2) List the eight stages of family life cycle given by Duvall.

Knowing where a family is in its life cycle makes it possible to anticipate a

Check Your Progress Exercise 3

10.5 SALIENT FEATURES OF EACH STAGE IN A

• Roles and responsibilities of each family member: Roles refer to

• Domains of adjustment: Domains of adjustment are the areas where a family

• Challenges and emerging issues: Each of the roles, responsibilities and

Fig.1O.3: Extended family members play a role in caregiving

Check Your Progress Exercise 4

10.6 ACKNOWLEDGING AND RESPECTING

1) Values: A value is an assumption upon which an implementation can be

2) Attitudes: Attitudes are composed of feelings, emotions and convictions that

3) Standards: Standards are a set of measures of values, stemming from our

4) Goals: A goals is an objective condition or something one strives to attain

5) Beliefs: A belief is a statement, assertion or theory of what you accept as

6) Expectations: Expectations are mental constructs. It is looking forward

7) Habits: Habits are automatic routines of behaviour that are repeated

9) Gender identity: Gender identity refers to an individual's persistent

Well, what is your opinion after reading an exhaustive list of ingredients? Do

Check Your Progress Exercise 5

Explain the following terms in brief: '.

10.7 LET US SUM UP

10.9 ANSWERS TO CHECK YOUR PROGRESS

1) The family life cycle is the fundamental concept in understanding how

• Where a family is in time in its life cycle, within an era of social

Check Your Progress Exercise 2

• The beginning families,

Check Your Progress Exercise 4

Check Your Progress Exercise 5

1) A value is an assumption upon which an implementation can be extrapolated.

3) Gender identity is an individual's persistent unambiguous definition of

10.10 UNIT END QUESTIONS

2) Discuss the significance of studying the family life cycle .

10.11 FURTHER READINGS AND REFERENCES

Bhatti, R. S. (2003). Enhancing Marital and Family Relationships: A model.

Duvall, E. M. (1962). Family Development (2nd edition). J.B. Lippincott

Duvall, E. M., & Miller, B. C. (1985). Marriage and Family Development

Kapadia, K. M. (1958). Marriage and Family in India. India: Oxford University

11.3 Roles and Responsibilities

11.2 MARRIAGE AND THE BEGINNING FAMILY

Marriage being a social system is largely influenced by its institutional norms.