Persuasion Factor Month 19

Welcome to Monty 19 of the Persuasion Factor. I’m Kenrick Cleveland. And I want to
thank you for joining me in this course, this has been a lot of fun so far. And can you
believe it? We only have five sessions left. That’s it. We’re almost through the entire
program. But these last sessions will be incredible as we increase the complexity and get
to even deeper and more powerful strategies now that you have some background to
understand them with. So I’m really excited to present this information to you and this
lesson is going to rock. This is. . .We’re now into some of my most favorite territory and
I think you’re really going to like it.

Let me jump right in here with some questions and I think this will help you
understand a few things a little better. The first question I got is, ‘Hi, Kenrick. In
stratagem twenty eight, you talk about telling people what you are going to do so as to
get some social pressure so you’ll follow through. But isn’t this the opposite strategy of
what we should do? I remember in the beginning of the course that you said if you have
plans to do something, not to tell anyone.’

All right, well, first of all, I would highly recommend you go back and listen to
stratagem twenty eight again, then go back into the course in the beginning where I
talked about not talking to people. . .and I’m going to make it very clear for you here to,
but I think it would really help you if you went back through those two sections.

When I say go ahead and talk to people so as to get some social pressure so you’ll
follow through, I’m not talking about something that’s positive. Now earlier in the
course, near the beginning when I talked about keeping quiet and not telling anyone, I
was referring to the Magicians Four Fold Law, to know, to will, to dare, and to keep
silent. And remember I told you back then that when you keep silent about an issue, it
adds psychic pressure, and remember I said even back then, what that means. . . I don’t
mean woo woo, necessarily, I mean, mental, psychological, universal, if you will,
pressure, to help manifest something. Okay?

So remember I also said though that there are ways of using the opposite of that to help
you. For example, if you had a had a bad dream, you might want to go ahead and tell
people about that dream so as to dissipate its energy. And that’s really what I’m talking
about here, you know, when I mentioned tell someone so that you’ll have social
pressure, this would be something that you should be doing but that you’re not doing.
So in other words, it’s like how to push yourself to do something positive. Let’s say, for
example, you want to stop smoking. You could tell whomever, a good friend, spouse, or
what have you, that you’re going to stop and that you’re asking them to help you so
that you don’t continue to engage in that behavior any further. You could tell a few
people that you really . . .whose opinion matter to you, and then if you keep doing it,
you’ll be letting them down and yourself down as well.

Now, that’s just one way to think of this, but notice for example, you’re not looking
forward, necessarily, to the removal of cigarettes. You might be looking forward to
better health. So if you wanted to combine the stratagems together, or the strategies that
I’m talking about, let’s say that you’re really motivated for a deep desire, even a need,
to improve your health. Okay? You don’t want to tell people that. So let’s say you have
a whole plan set in motion to better your health. And let’s take smoking as an example.
Let’s say that you need to stop smoking and then you want to expand your lung
capacity so you have an exercise regimen that you’ve put together, cardiovascular in
nature, let’s say, so that you’re going to have to be breathing hard, and you’re going to
work to expand your volume of air and the strength of your lungs. So that’s the part
you’d want to keep quiet. So you wouldn’t go telling the people that. You might just
simply tell them about the part of it that you want to really have compliance on.

For example, you’re going to not pick up cigarettes anymore as of X date. That’s it.
You’re done. As of that date, you’re done. So let’s say we’re two weeks before that date
and let’s say that you’re on the patch, just for sake of discussion, so you’re cutting
down, you’re cutting down, you’re right on schedule and you want to make absolutely
certain that it would be so painful for you to ever start back up again that you tell a few
people whose opinion you really value and who you want to respect you. So in other
words, you’re sort of cutting off your bridge, is what you’re doing. And that’s exactly
what stratagem twenty-eight talks about. Pulling up the ladder behind you. So you’re
cutting off your escape route, and that’s why it has the power.

But using the rest of what I’ve taught you, you would not, for example, share all of your
exercise program and everything else, and the real underlying reason why you want to
stop smoking. You would just talk about that part of the behavior. Okay? So I hope that
helps make that a lot more clear for you.
All right, next question is, ‘Here’s a question about military pattern one. It seems like
we should always start with ‘have you found’ or is this just the exercise?’ So first let me
answer that. That’s just the exercise. You don’t want to start everything with ‘have you
found’. I mean, hopefully you’ve heard all of the rest of the material up to that lesson
and you know that there’s lots of other things to start with including a ‘why’ question
which would be one of my favorites. And I’ve gone at length into ‘why’ and ‘explain
that’. So here, you don’t want to start off everything with that or even every
conversation with it, but it would be sort of a proof element.

‘So, have you found that people really benefit as they learn to understand language
more explicitly so that they can use it to convince other people to do what they want?’

‘Well, no, I haven’t.’

‘Oh, not yet? Okay, well. . . you’re on the right track as we talk because I think you’re
going to begin to understand that.’

Or, ‘Yes, I have.’

‘Fantastic. Then I think this is going to make a lot of sense to you that we’re going to go
over right now.’

Okay? So either way that question allows you to win. So I’m not sure how you mean
this question when you say, ‘It seems like we should always start with. . . ‘ No, you
always should not. That would make you sound silly. But you might from time to time,
especially when you’re discussing an element of proof that you might want to bring up,
that might be a good time to use it.

And you’re asking secondly in this question, ‘Can we change it to ‘have you realized
already?’ ‘Do or did you know?’ ‘Have you heard?’ ‘Have you seen?’ ‘Have you
thought about?’ ‘Are you aware that?’ ‘Ask yourself if. . .’ All but the last one, yes. Yes,
you can use other ways of saying ‘have you found?’ The nice thing about the word
‘found’ is that it is not specific to one of the representational systems. It’s like a
nominalization. So have you found by what? Seeing, hearing, feeling, tasting, smelling.
So the word ‘found’ forces them to come up with their own interpretation which may
be really, really good unless you already know what that is.
So depending on how early you’re using it in the conversation, you may choose to use
the word found, but you could do any of the rest of them that you said. If you use the
‘ask yourself if’, you could say, ‘Ask yourself if you’ve found that. . . ‘ so that would be
a way of kind of softening it and we’ve gone through softening strategies in previous
lessons, I believe.

Okay, you go on to ask, ‘Maybe it’s even better to change the verb to one that
corresponds with their primary modality just like in this month’s convincer pattern.’

Um. . . it can be. If you know what it is, yes, it can be, but have you found will probably
be just about as effective? There will be minimal difference between those two. Minimal
noticeable difference. Minimal difference that you’ll be able to track. So for that reason I
would say, you know, just stay with ‘have you found’ which is probably really, really
good.

Okay. And you go on and ask, ‘Same question goes for military pattern four. ‘Just
suppose’, can it be replaced with ‘just imagine’, ‘just think of’, etc.’ Yes, it sure can. So
just think of . . . for example, would be. . .’think’, how does one think? Well, in terms of
what they see? Sure. In terms of what they hear? Sure. In terms of what they feel? Taste?
Or smell? Absolutely.

So that would be the same kind of strategy right there as the word found. But yes you
could go to ‘just imagine’ or ‘say to yourself’ or ‘can you feel?’ I mean, you could do it
that way, but . . . I think you’ll find ‘just suppose’ or ‘have you found?’ work very, very
well, which is why I gave them to you.

Okay. Last question is, ‘In my job, most meetings are with a few people. Is it possible to
use the convincer pattern when there is more than one person in front of you? If so,
how?’

Not really. I say that with a qualified no. It depends on how many people you’ve got.
Let’s go back to the way I taught you to first gain rapport if you’re dealing with, let’s
say a couple. I told you, pick the one that seems to have the most amount of power.
And with that, you’ll be able to get it done. So you could easily go after the convincer
pattern with the most powerful. Then, if there’s time, you could go to the second or
third person. However, I guaranty you, by the time you get to the second and third
person, it’s going to sound very repetitive and not real brilliant.
So look to see if you can find the person that has the greatest amount of power in the
relationship or in the room and do it with that person. So if you’re trying to convince a
bunch of separate people, I would say probably don’t use that pattern. If you’re trying
to convince a group that is led by one person, or that more or less reports to one person,
or that has a power figure in the room, get the information from the power figure.

This is really better done when you’re talking with an individual one-on-one or even
one-on-two but you’re still going to get it primarily from just one person.

Now, you know, you could kind of do it generically. I don’t like it when it comes to the
convincer pattern, but you could ask everyone at once in a more generic fashion, like I
taught you how to do with values, but really I would say the best thing is, there are tons
and tons of strategies and techniques that I’ve given you and will be giving you for
groups and you don’t need to try to bend something that’s more applicable for an
individual to a group. Okay?

All righty. And let’s move forward now into this lesson, lesson nineteen, as we have hot
stuff for you here. And let’s just jump right in to slide two. If you’ll join me at that page
or later as you review it, either way is fine, and we’re going to start with stratagem
thirty-one. And stratagem thirty-one is called ‘use a woman to ensnare a man’. Now,
the new name I gave it is, ‘use sex, or any irresistible temptation, to snare your enemy’.
There are a couple of other names for this: ‘the sex stratagem’, it’s kind of an obvious
one, and ‘the decoy stratagem’.

All right, this stratagem is quite simple and straightforward for the most part. I won’t
elaborate too awful far but I will talk about it a little bit.

One of the things to note as we think back on the history of this is that typically this
stratagem was not used by beautiful women themselves. It was used by men who used
the beautiful women to achieve what they wanted. So the women weren’t the players in
the game, so to speak, they were the pawns. The men were the players. You know, the
people playing the game. But this is increasingly no longer the case. Now, women are
both the players using their own looks to get what they want, as well as the ones that
are being played, so to speak. They’re just doing it themselves.

I didn’t say that very clear, did I? What I mean by that is, women are calling the shots
often now using that strategy themselves where typically they were sort of like a pawn
in the game. You know, a man would use them as a tool, if you will, to go out and get a
job done that he wanted. Now women are actually getting to the point of being able to
use that. . .

Boy. . . All right. If any woman just took offense to that, forgive me. Obviously, I think
women, from the dawn of time, have known this and used this to their advantage. But
what I’m suggesting to you is that historically, in the Chinese way of looking at this
stratagem, men were the players that pulled the strings. Women were sort of pawns or
tools that were being used. More now, increasingly, in greater numbers, today, women
aren’t just the pawns, they’re using this and other stratagems to get what they want.

Okay. I think I said that better now, didn’t I?

Let’s go to slide number three. And talk about some ways that we can use this
stratagem.

First of all, let me warn you that this stratagem, like a lot of them, can backfire really
easily, so be careful. All right? Imagine, for example, sending a beautiful woman to try
and ensnare a minister. And let’s assume it’s a minister that’s actually quite Godly, in
love with his wife, married and has no intention of cheating no matter what you do. If
he sees through what you’ve done, there may be a real problem and once caught, you
stand to lose significantly.

So be careful. People, this has been a stratagem that has a backlash to it and it’s back
lashed for centuries. So you have to watch the use of it.

Let me just give you a quick example. In the Superbowl. . . was it last year? Or the year
before? I forget which. But they came out with this ad . . . boy, I can’t even remember
exactly what it was for. It was some internet company and they came out with the ad
using this really busty girl, good looking girl, sort of, I guess, and she was scantily clad
and they were attempting to use this to hook the viewers. Well, it had quite a back lash
from it because many people thought that it had no place there, that they were just
gratuitously using that. Though many others were favorably impressed.

In the end, I don’t know how good of a strategy it really was, so be careful that this
doesn’t backfire. Okay? And I’ll talk a little bit about how to help with that before we
leave this stratagem.
All right, in a greater sense, what this stratagem is really saying is, to find out what
your enemy is most tempted by, and then give it to them. Then, use it to destroy him.
So here you can look at sex in its various forms, along with drugs, or anything else that
may really cause a problem for a person.

What we’re really saying here is that this stratagem takes advantage of a character flaw,
a character weakness and to that end, I would say, you know, you’re stooping to the
level of the person you’re trying to defeat if you’re doing that, so be cautious, really
cautious. Then again, if a . . .Well, there was. . . again an ad, I think I saw, where a
person from the United States was meeting with a group of Japanese businessmen and
they were all very. . . the Japanese businessmen were all very polite, they were bowing
and all these things, to the American guy and he took them to this nice restaurant, and
they were sitting and talking, and . . .It was either an ad or a show. I forget which. But
anyway, and the Japanese people were acting like they were saying meaningful things,
but the translation at the bottom of the screen said stuff like, ‘Wow, this guy is really
boring.’ And, ‘Wow, what a boring restaurant.’ And that kind of stuff.

The American guy saw he was losing them, that they weren’t that interested, and he
said, ‘Look, why don’t we just go to some place more fun.’ So he took them to,
whatever, a party place, pizza place, something, I forget, but some place where it was a
lot of action, a lot of partying, a lot of stuff going on, and the Japanese guys were all
excited and impressed and of course he got the business.

So if it were a situation like that where if you knew that providing somebody something
was helpful to them, then that would be. . . or not just helpful, but I should say even if it
sort of crossed the line of propriety, then you might do that and thus find a very loyal
customer.

I saw this used in a country that I visited not too long ago in which the driver brought
up the idea that he’d lost a lot of customers to competition because the competition
would provide women. And I thought that was a brilliant way of bringing up the
discussion. In other words, he was letting me know that he would provide them. Of
course, I quickly informed him I was married and wasn’t interested in that kind of
thing, but asked him, out of curiosity, why did you stoop to that level. I said, ‘You know
what they call guys like that, right?’ I was just joking with him. He goes, ‘Yeah, yeah. I
know.’ And he was very embarrassed.
And he said, well, one day he was all set to pick up a customer and the customer called
in the night before and said, ‘Hey, I think I’m just going to take the day off and go hang
out at the ocean. . .blah, blah, blah,’ and canceled the need for the driver.

The driver also took the day off and went to the ocean whereupon he found the guy
and his buddy with two or three women, or more, and another driver there who was
watching over them and taking care of them.

So he went up to the man and said, ‘Well, why did you do that?’ and he goes, ‘Well,
because you didn’t have any women you could bring me.’ So the driver that I was with
said, ‘So I decided that if I was going to stop losing clients like that, I had to be able to
provide it.’

I thought that was interesting. So he found a very ingenious way of bringing it up with
me, without asking me if that’s what I wanted, but let me know that that was certainly
available. Very interesting.

So consider that what you’re really doing with this stratagem is that you’re finding out
what your enemy is most tempted by and giving it to them. Okay? So this would be the
. . . you’ve seen probably the reality shows where a woman is trying to tell if her man is
faithful and so they go to a show and the show’s producers arrange that night to take
the guy out and show him around the town a little bit and to make him feel at home. It
just so happens that they’re doing it with a very beautiful single woman who works for
the show, but they sort of set up some pretext and the girl makes it known that she’s
available and the guy hits on her.

Of course the whole thing’s being videotaped and the next day at the show there’s his
fiancé or wife there or what have you, and he’s busted. So that’s an example of that.

So this is simply a way to turn the tables and use it to your advantage.

Now think about it, topless dance clubs quickly part people from their money with their
temptations that you never quite get. Or at least most people don’t quite get it. And so
they’re flaunting what people are actually wanting, but they’re actually not getting it.
And yet, they’re still paying lots and lots and lots of money usually. Kind of interesting,
isn’t it?
Okay, you can use sex in ads to blur the customer’s mind and make your product more
appealing, but you have to be careful with it, because if your ad comes across as
thought the sexuality that you’re using is not connected with your product, if it’s just
gratuitous, in other words, then it may make people very turned off by your product
and you might lose.

Yes, it’s true, sex will motivate an awful lot of people to do an awful lot of things, even
those that don’t want to admit to it. But you have to be careful that it fits. And I told you
I would help you to understand a way to do that. Well, you have to find a way to fit it
into the story line much like my driver did when he made me aware that he had this
service available without asking me if I wanted it. So he came up with a plausible way
to deny that he liked it. In fact, he said, ‘I don’t like providing this service because I’m
married and I know that it certainly will offend some.’ But he was very clear that it was
available.

So this is how you do it, is you make it fit naturally into your product or service, if
you’re going to use it, and that’s sort of like a different way of using the ensnaring
portion. Here, we’re ensnaring them through desire instead of through trying to
destroy the person by recording it, or what have you, and here is a really interesting
reverse twist on this. Some retail stores are teaching their sales people to use this on
younger couples. What they suggest is getting the younger woman to want a more
expensive option, so trying to persuade the younger woman to want a more expensive
option.

The younger man will be inclined to get it for her. He will not tell her ‘no’. He’ll find it
very, very difficult to tell her ‘no.’ So that’s a very interesting kind of reverse twist on
that stratagem. In essence, you’re still using a woman to get the man to do what you
want. And in that instance, you’re using it in the classic Chinese sense. The woman
becomes the pawn of the sales person, knowing that the young man she’s with will still
want to be with her so he won’t want to tell her no.

Very interesting.

Okay, you can defeat this stratagem from being used on you by being wary of beautiful
people appearing out of nowhere trying to get personal. But, you know the way I am,
and I will suggest to you that better still, defeat it by shoring up your integrity so this
can’t be used against you.
If you’re lock solid strong on your integrity, then this won’t ever be an issue that would
cause a problem in your life and that’s the easiest and best way ever to use this
stratagem to your advantage. And I think that’s by far the very best way as well.

Okay, let’s move on to slide four, stratagem thirty-two. And this would be, ‘Fling open
the gates to the empty city’. This is a fascinating stratagem. Really fascinating. And
beyond just my fascination with it, it is pretty much the most popular stratagem ever.
It’s the most known and utilized, especially in Chinese culture. So this is a very
powerful one and it’s worthy of a tremendous amount of thought on your part to really
get it. Okay?

The traditional name, of course, ‘fling open the gates to the empty city’. The new name
I’ve given it is, ‘a deliberate display of weakness can conceal true vulnerability’. It’s the
stratagem of the feigned ambush and the stratagem of feigned harmlessness.

So these are some very interesting things we can look at. Let’s go to the Chinese history.
Go to page five for that. Kung Min sent his troops off to do battle thus leaving his city
unprotected. While the troops were gone, Cee Ma, his biggest enemy, decided to take
his city. Upon seeing his enemy outside the city, Kung Min sent an old man to open the
gates to the city and sweep and clean the entrance. Kung Min then went to his tower
and played music, sang and ate like all was absolutely fine. Cee Ma hesitated thinking
there must be a trap laid for him in the city and ordered his troops to retreat until he
could check things out and find out what was really going on. In the meantime, Kung
Min’s troops returned from battle and thus the city was protected again.

Now, I’ve thought and thought of this stratagem over the years. And I’ve used it so
many times in so many ways and I certainly hope you’ll do the same. We’ll talk about
some of that here as we continue. Let’s take a look at modern history, on the next page,
page six.

On Candid Camera years ago, the host set up a stand and told people that he, for some
reason, didn’t like twenty dollar bills. He offered to exchange them for a five dollar bill
to passers by. So everyone without exception turned him down thinking they were
counterfeit. So think about that. This guy sat outside on a street corner and he took
twenty dollar bills and said, ‘Listen, I’ll give you my twenty dollar bill if you’ll give me
a five dollar bill.’
Now, he got turned down. Nobody took him up on it. Too bad I wasn’t there. I would
have taken him up on it. Although I would have looked at it first. I have to tell you, I
would have looked at it, make sure it looks real.

There was another one I heard of just recently and I can’t tell you the exact situation
behind it but I believe it was a guy in the UK and he ran an ad that said he had like
hundred pound notes, or whatever, available, for one dollar a piece, and they were only
available between the hours of like nine and ten a.m. or something like that, and all you
had to do was call and make an appointment and come pick them up. And he had a
limit of so many for the money.

No strings attached. He didn’t get any takers. Nobody came to collect. Isn’t that
interesting?

All right, now, again, this bears really thinking about. So let’s talk about how to use this
stratagem. As I mentioned, it’s one of the most known and utilized, but here’s some
more info on this. Hide your true strength and resources to create a mystery about what
you really have. Now, you know, sometimes you’ll hear these stratagems and the ways
to use them and you’ll think, well that kind of contradicts with one of the others.

Understand that you aren’t going to use all of the stratagems, all together, all the time.
Okay? You’re going to analyze each particular situation that you’re in and you’re going
to come up with the stratagems that will most help you. And this is really sort of a. . .
how do I say this? A wisdom thing or a maturity thing, from what I’ve found in my life.
In other words, as you mature in business and as you gain wisdom from your dealings
with others, you’ll begin to. . . And as you, of course, study these stratagems, what
you’ll be able to do is pull out three or four or five of them that you’ll use in any given
situation and put them into effect.

This is exactly what I’d recommend you do, is analyze situation after situation after
situation, taking all of the stratagems that you’ve learned and going through and see
how many of them you could apply and in what ways. The more you can use, the more
powerful it’s going to be. Two or three of them together is certainly more powerful.
Okay?

This one talks about hiding your true strength and resources so that you create a
mystery. Or, when in danger, openly show what you don’t have. So your enemy may
wonder if that’s really true while your fiends will come to your aid. So this is like, let’s
say you need to sell a house, okay, and you’re going to go try to sell it and someone
offers you a lowball offer, and you need to sell the house, but you tell them, ‘That’s
okay. I’d rather just hold it for a year than take a lowball offer like that.’ Well, maybe
you can’t afford to hold it for a year, but you’re not going to let them know. That’s sort
of the same example of throwing open the gates as if to say, ‘yeah, sure, come on in if
you dare. Give it your best shot.’ Like as if you’re hoping that they think, ‘Oh, well,
there’s some real strength here I must not know about. I could be defeated. Hmm. . .’

So it’s extremely powerful. Another thing you can do is be open and honest about the
reality of your situation so as to be seen as especially confident.

Now, this might be especially true if you have something backing up what. . .well, you
know what? Really, it could go either direction. If you have a lot backing you up but
they don’t know it, then you might just say, ‘Well, look, this is what I really want to do
and how I want to do it’, they just don’t know that hiding behind you is a whole army
of resources that will come to your advantage.

So that’s what’s really interesting.

And it’s important to evaluate your situation to be sure this is the wisest course of
action because not always is opening up your kimono to show what’s inside always the
best way to go.

Another way you can do this is to leave the lights on and maybe the TV and that can
lead others to think that you’re home thus preventing robbery. Okay? That’s just
another great example. It looks like something’s going on, but nothing is. And by the
way, isn’t that kind of. . . that’s just sort of standard, isn’t it? It’s kind of funny.

Another way is act very confident in a negotiation like you don’t need them, it may
make them think you have a stronger position than you really do. Well, that’s sort of
like what I just said, I guess. But that’s a great way to use this stratagem.

This has very far reaching application. This bears a lot of contemplation in your mind.
Like I said, it’s one thing to read these. It’s another thing to hear them and really start to
study them. It’s yet another thing to allow wisdom, effort and time all work together to
begin to implant these stratagems deep within your unconscious mind such that when
the time comes that you need them, bam, they’re right there and able to produce results
for you in a really powerful way.

I can’t tell you enough how much you should be doing that. That’s just. . . that is the
way to learn and use these stratagems.

Let’s move on to slide number seven, creating the illusion of choice: more ways to bind
thoughts. Today, I want to talk with you about double binds. We’ve talked about single
binds which is, ‘The more you X, the more you Y’. We’ve talked about implied kinds of
things, ‘As X, Y.’ We’ve talked about ‘X causes Y.’ Now let’s talk about double binds.
And we’re going somewhere with this so hang tight, because in today’s lesson I’m
going to kind of open the kimono a bit. . . that’s kind of a bad image, isn’t it? To show
you why I’m going there. Okay? So you’ll see.

All right. Now, this pattern uses two alternatives where either one you choose creates
the same basic choice only they’re worded differently. In other words, it’s like, ‘Would
you rather do A or B tonight?’ but A and B is the same thing and whether you do A or B
is just fine with the person asking because they both mean the same thing.

So a good example of this is Milton Erickson who would say when trying to get a young
child to get ready for bed, he might suggest you say, ‘Do you want to get ready for bed
now or brush your teeth?’

Now, note that either choice they choose got them in the direction of heading to bed
whether they’re doing the prerequisites of bed or they’re actually getting dressed and
ready for bed. So that’s a great example of the use of a double bind.

Let’s go to slide eight and talk about how to do it.

So what you want to do is think about something you want someone to do and write
that down. Now this is how I learned it and it made it really easy for me. Find two ways
to language it and then deliver it. Okay? So, for example, would you like to go out to eat
tonight or maybe we could explore some new restaurants in the area that we just
haven’t been to yet. What do you think?

Well, either way, you’re going out to eat, right? Okay? Would you like to go out tonight
or would you enjoy going bowling, perhaps? There’s another example where it sounds
different and the word ‘or’ creates. . . you know, most people when they hear ‘or’, ‘this
or that’, it sounds like there are two. . .In other words. . .How do I say this? We’re
trained, we’re conditioned that when we hear ‘or’ you’re going to hear two different
things, maybe even opposite things. Or two very different things. Would you rather go
to the movies or to dinner? Would you rather go bowling or to the movies? Would you
rather have an appointment on Monday or Wednesday? Okay?

So what we’re doing with this is finding ways to say the same thing using the word ‘or’
to make people kind of trigger that there’s something different, but in reality, there is no
difference. Shall we get you started or shall we just fill out the application first? Okay?
Have you decided to go ahead with this or are you contemplating just what it will mean
to you in your life when it’s yours?

Really, either way works. And it works really, really well. It’s just that, you want to
make sure that you’re doing it, I guess, with sophistication. As I talk with you, you’re
going to begin to probably imagine what this would be like in your life and feel a sense
of real happiness and contentment or you might just begin to become curious about
what it would be like if it were yours right now and you already had the protection that
we’re talking about. Either way, I think that this would be a good time for a
conversation for us.

See? That’s the illusion of choice, you’ve made it sound like there may be something
different, but there really isn’t anything different. It really is the same thing. Okay?

So that’s the gist of this. That’s how this works.

Now, let’s go to slide nine. And the old fashioned way to do this was, ‘Would you like
to use your pen or mine to sign the contract?’ Thinking, you know. . . and nobody, not
even really back then, was anybody fooled by that. It was just a slick way to close, but
look, slick Rick died. . . .I’m talking about Rick James. And I mean, the idea of trying to
trick or slick someone into something like that where it sounds too smooth, that’s not
really helpful. That won’t work real well. Nobody back then really believed, oh, well, let
me think. Okay, yeah. I’ll use your pen. Sure. That never really did get people to buy, or
at least not very many times and not with people who were very bright anyway.

So I guess what I can say to you is, really think about this because you want it to sound
very different. And whether you make it sound really different or come up with a
completely unique way to say it, it doesn’t really matter to me, but you’ll figure out
how to do it. See? That is another. . . I just did it. Okay? Whether you choose to hire our
company to go ahead with this project, or you say to me, ‘Kenrick, just help me. Would
you? I want you to be the one to watch over this because I think you really know what
you’re doing.’ Either way, it’s totally okay with me. I’ll go along with you. So let’s talk
about it.

See? Again, it sounds better. It sounds like there’s some kind of a conclusion. Now, if
you were ever caught on it, if they go, ‘Wait a minute, isn’t that the same thing?’ ‘Well, I
suppose it is I guess. I was just thinking more about you just being happy with our
service or you actually want my specific help, but yeah, sure.’ And just act like it was
nothing. Like, what they just said was nothing.

So let’s go onto slide ten. And let’s put it into practice. The think I’d like you to do is to
write five things that you want someone to think. Now you can do this about behavior,
but it’s far better to do it about what you want them to think, and then phrase each one
of those five things in two different ways and practice delivering them so you sound
natural. That’s the key to this. You’ve got to practice delivering it so you sound natural.
Okay?

Now this one will not work just by you hearing me. You have to write this out and
practice it. So practice it and send me some examples, if you’d like, and that’ll . . . I can
comment if you get them right out to me. I can perhaps comment on them, or if you’re
listening to this after the lessons were created, then just practice saying them and
practice delivering them so you sound natural. They have to sound natural. They can’t
sound like your pen or mine. That’s not going to work.

Let’s go on to slide number eleven. I want to talk to you about installing future thoughts
and behaviors. We’re getting into real profound things here as we get into this one. In
fact, the strategies we’re talking about now have been responsible for more deals going
my way, more money earned, and more success in my life than you can hardly imagine.
Truly, this strategy alone is worth its weight in gold. And when you understand its far
reaching implications and you begin to implement it, let me just tell you, you’re either
going to be absolutely thrilled or you’ll wish I’d spend even more time talking about it.
It’s just that good. . . Hmm. .. .was that a double bind?
Okay. See how you start to use these things. That’s a way to do it. You know, I kind of
hate it because as I give you all of these strategies that I’ve been giving you in this
program, now, occasionally, I’m hoping you’re hearing me using them on you. It’s fun.

As you catch me, by the way, let it sink in even deeper, because that way you’ll get it
and you’ll learn it and it’ll become even more available to you. Now right there, if you
go back and listen to it again, I just did what I’m going to be talking with you about
here. I’m starting to kind of call your attention and your awareness to what I’m doing
because I really want you to start to hear it.

So a lot of the strategies that we’ve been talking about up to this point have been
oriented towards getting people to go along with you. And really, this one is too,
though this one has very special properties to it. It can make sure that once you get a
commitment, the person that gave it to you won’t ever change it. And it can stick things
in their mind that will be remembered without you having to be there to remind them.
This one . . . this one is just brilliant.

All right, the reason I’m teaching this to you now is that you’ve been learning about
different ways to bind thoughts. What I’m teaching you now is perhaps the ultimate
type of bind. In essence, it’s the bind a person does to themselves through rehearsal. Let
me just. . .that one is one of the most brilliant lines I’ve ever written if I do say so myself.
This is perhaps the ultimate type of bind. In essence, it’s the bind a person does to
themselves through rehearsal.

All persuasion is really self persuasion. The only way it wouldn’t qualify is if you’re
holding a gun to their head or if you’ve used the first stratagem of using a woman to
ensnare a man or a man to ensnare a woman, whichever way you’ve done it, where
you’ve photographed somebody in compromising positions and used it against them,
but that’s not persuasion, that’s coercion or worse. Okay?

So we’ve been talking a lot about binds because they are a cause and effect type of
pattern that are incredibly powerful. You learned about the word ‘because’ and causes,
forces, makes, and as, while, during, since. . . those kinds of words. And you learned the
single binds, the more you X, the more you Y, and you’ve learned double binds now in
this lesson. Okay? And by the way, if for any reason this feels like it’s flying by, it is. We
are jamming in the information. So stop. Whenever you get a feeling like that, just stop
and go back and re-listen. Okay? It’s really important. That’s why I break these things
up into short twelve minute sections, or approximately twelve minutes, because you
can kind of go back over any section that you want to whenever you want.

But it’s really important that you understand that this now is rather like the
granddaddy of all binds. This is the ultimate. Okay? And it can use the others within it.

Let me demonstrate by talking about this course with you for a minute. Okay? This will
help you to understand better. So first thing I want you to do is to just stop for a
moment and remember why you bought into this program. Think about that for a
moment.

Think about what convinced you to do it. Think about your personal values, your . . .the
things that you are looking to accomplish more of and to be better at and to maybe get
away from, etc.

And I want you to think of a few of the strategies that most impressed you, or that most
stand out to you. Just identify a few of the strategies that you think, wow, when Kenrick
talked about that, that was pretty cool.

And I’d like you to think about any wins that you’ve had since beginning the course,
any successes, okay? Or places where you know you should be using it and are
beginning to.

Now, we’re only a few months away from finishing the program, as you know, as I told
you when we first started today, and you’ve been with it now from the beginning, and
imagine you would really like to have the last few months of the program, so you will
have the whole course with no gaps or missing sections, is that right? Okay? I suspect
you said yes. Now suppose that a family member or friend tried to convince you to
quit. What would you say to them so that you would be able to finish and get the last
few sessions? Really think about it and come up with what you would say.

Now let’s suppose that . . .and if you need to pause this along the way, go ahead, but
let’s suppose that another friend tried to convince you to stop, what would you say to
them so that you would really feel good about getting the last few sessions here?

And as silly as this is, suppose that you began to doubt your decision. In other words,
you began to doubt the decision to continue and finish out the program. What would
come up in your mind just before the doubt could enter, knocking it out all together,
that would convince you to finish the last few months? Answer that question very
specifically.

Okay. Now, I want you to just think about how you feel right now because if you went
through that process with me, you probably feel pretty good and pretty strong about
finishing the program. Now the question is, why? Well, you rehearsed in detail what
you’ll do if anything comes along that tries to change your mind. So right now, you
have a sense of certainty, a sense of knowing, and that’s desirable by humans. Humans
would like to have sureness, certainty, that they know what’s going to happen in their
life. Okay? And now you do, as it relates to this. You probably had before this, but
nonetheless, now you have more of that as well. But there’s a real key part, okay? You
rehearsed in detail what you’ll do, so you already know what you’re going to do.

That is key. That’s paramount. Now let’s go to slide thirteen. It’s incredibly powerful.
Remember, I told you that it’s a possibility that people might believe you when you try
to convince them of something, but they will always believe what they conclude on
their own. Remember that? And you just went through a process in which you
concluded how you would behave under conditions of people trying to get you to quit
the course. You rehearsed how you would act even if you tried to convince yourself to
quit. Now are you getting why this is so powerful?

This is . . .oh, my goodness, I’m telling you, this stuff, it rocks the world. Okay? Now
you can use this to help you remember things as well as to make other behavioral
changes. In fact, for example, if something’s really important and I have to remember it,
sometimes what I do is I imagine a big neon sign on the door, the door to the front of
my house, and so when I’m getting ready to leave, and I imagine it’s turning on and it’s
flashing the message me, in really big letters and everything, colorful, and I tell myself
that when I get ready to leave, I’m going to look at that sign flashing and I’m going to
be reminded that I have to bring that with me. And so what happens is, I get ready to
go and while typically I might have forgot it, or I’m fifty-fifty, I might have
remembered, I might have forgot, now I see this sign flashing in my mind and I
remember.

Now you could imagine that another part of you steps forward at the door and says,
‘Excuse me, sir, are you remembering to bring your. . . ? Excuse me, ma’am, do you
have your papers?’ Okay? So you could do it in what you see, you could do it what you
hear, you could do it by what you feel. You know? For example, you’re going to have
an image come into your mind of you weighing your briefcase, and if it weighs too
little, you know that you’ve forgotten something and what you’ve forgotten is the exact
papers for the contract that you need to bring, or what have you.

So you can use it to make behavioral changes. You can do all kinds of things with this.
We’ll get into some of that.

So in fact, have you ever tried to pressure yourself to do something and told yourself
how you could get out of doing it if need be? You ever done that? In that instance, you
rehearsed failing and I’ll be that’s what happened. Okay? So this is why, by the way,
when people sell and they go, ‘All right, look, if for any reason Mr. Smith, you’ve gone
ahead and signed up for this health spa membership today, but look, if you don’t like it,
just cancel. Really. Any time. Just cancel.’ Or, ‘You know, listen, we’re going to go
ahead and sign you up for this program to get your roof replaced, but if any time within
the next 72 hours you want to cancel, just do it. No problem.’ Well, what do people do?
They rehearse it, they imagine it, and then they go and do it. They quit.

So we tend to do what we rehearse in our mind. Always remember, people might

believe you when you try to convince them of something, when you tell them
something, but they’re always going to believe what they conclude on their own. And
what’s a way to get them to conclude it? Get them to believe it’s their idea. Get them to
rehearse ownership of it. If you do that, it’s a bind of the most inordinately powerful
strength.

Let’s go on to slide fourteen. Now think about how this is related to binds and double
binds and cause and effect language. Here’s the thing: if I say to you, ‘The more you
think about this, the more you begin to find it’s true.’ Well, what am I getting you to
do? At high speed, I’m getting your mind. . . I’m basically instructing your mind on a
process level, to do something. ‘The more you think about this, the more you’ll find it’s
true.’ So you’ll start thinking about it and if you think about it a few times, it becomes
familiar. As it becomes familiar, your brain goes, ‘Wow, it must be true.’

So it’s sort of like self fulfilling prophesies and we’ll talk about that in just a minute.
You can use all of the bind types of language to make the process of installing future
thoughts and behaviors even more powerful if you want to meaning you can combine
all of that. But now I hope you understand why I am teaching you this now. It makes
sense, doesn’t it?

Now just recently you learned about ‘just suppose’. Now let’s get right down to it.
Think about what that’s really doing. You understand how when you say ‘just suppose’
you’re getting someone to throw open the doors to their mind, allow you to march your
enemy right in, or march your soldiers; I should say, right in, and get them to do exactly
what you want? If you can get them to imagine it, they’ll be far more inclined to doing
it.

Remember the saying, if you can conceive it and believe it, you can achieve it. I think
that’s Napoleon Hill. I think. Well, if you can conceive it, that just means imagine it.
And believe it, how do you believe something? Well, it could be a gut instinct, but it
could be you rehearse it over and over. You imagine yourself doing it. You imagine that
you could do all the steps and all the parts and pretty soon if you can rehearse it
enough, you’ll believe. And if you can get to the point of believing you can and will
achieve that, whatever it is. So you start with ‘just suppose’ and in order to just
suppose, you’re in essence saying ‘imagine’ in all of the modalities. Imagine, hear, feel. .
. Okay? And they throw the doors of their mind open to your words, your soldiers,
which march right in and get them to believe that this is the right thing.

Think about how when you get people to believe that they came up with an idea, it far
more powerfully affects them then if you have the idea. If it’s their idea, it’s even more
powerful, isn’t it? And that’s in keeping with the whole theme of what we’re talking
about here in this lesson.

Can you use that strategy within this one? Aren’t we?

So that’s the whole basis of this is that we’re getting them to bind themselves with their
own imagining, talking, of the way they’re going to handle something, their own
rehearsal of the way it’s going to work.

Now let’s make this more concrete. What we’re really doing is we’re linking to
something that’s real or known or expected or true or verifiable, or all of those. Okay?
So you’re going to understand what that means in just a minute. This strategy is in and
of itself incredibly valuable and powerful because you can use it to do all kinds of
installation things with people.
So for example, you can suggest that the person you are persuading is going to think or
remember or do, but thinking and remember is better, something when the real or
known or expected or true or verifiable thing happens. For example, imagine you’re
driving home. What road do you always pass or what sign do you always pass just a
few minutes before you get home? Do you know what I’m talking about? So you’re
driving home right now, okay. What road, road sign, or sign, do you always pass just a
few minutes before getting home? Pick one. Got it? Okay, imagine as you pass that sign
right now it signals your unconscious mind to combine what you’re learning in this
course into your thoughts, behaviors and speaking in a way that causes you to get even
more of what you want. Can you imagine that?

What just happened? Well, first of all, answer this. What is it that causes that signal
when you’re nearing home? So imagine you’re going home, and now you’re signaled to
combine what you’re learning in this course into your thoughts, behavior and speaking
just like I just told you. What caused that? And if you said, ‘Oh, well, I passed such and
such a sign. I passed the sign that says whatever. . .’ Okay? Or I see this road sign. So
that’s the signal. So look up where it says linking to something. . .we’re on page fifteen.
Look up where it says linking to something real, known, expected, true or verifiable. All
right?

That’s what I’m talking about here. So it’s a sign and they pass it all the time. It’s true,
it’s verifiable. It’s not something they have to believe that they’re going to pass this sign,
they’re actually going to pass this sign every time they go home. And you’re using that
as the signal to trigger the suggestion that you just gave. Okay?

Now, just imagine that you’re on your way home right now and you see that signal and
what happens? How does it feel? Well, some people say, ‘Well, you know, I don’t have
much of a feeling.’ Well, that’s okay. I didn’t elicit much of an emotion with it. Some of
you, though, will go, ‘Well, yeah. I have this thought that I should be. . . that I’m like
integrating this stuff a little better.’ Or what have you. It’s subtle, but it doesn’t have to
be blatant. Subtle is absolutely fine.

Let’s go to slide sixteen and I’d like you to list some things that you can link to and
these things need to be like real, known, expected, true or verifiable, something like
that. I’m going to give you a few of them here. And I’ve used these.
Flushing the toilet and seeing the water spin. Turning on a faucet and hearing the water
run. Shutting your car door and hearing the sound it makes. Catching a glimpse of
yourself in the mirror. Seeing your house as you pull up to it. Hearing the sound of
your breathing. Feeling your right shoe as you put it on the morning.

For example, you might. . .well, here, I’ll just do it to you now. For example, you know,
every day, throughout the day, we all end up flushing a toilet one or more times,
usually several times. And we do that for a reason. We want to get rid of something.
And I’d like you just to imagine any possible reservation you might have about this
program or what you’re learning and I want you just to imagine that for all the obvious
reasons, that the next time you flush the toilet, there goes all of those things right along
with it and you see the water swirling. Now, I don’t know what part of the world
you’re in, but I know it swirls different directions in different places. So which way is
the water swirling? And you might just make a note of that for the next time you flush
it, which way does it swirl, clockwise or counter-clockwise? Okay?

Now, have I just installed a future thought or behavior? Well, yes, to a certain extent.
Okay? So that’s all it takes. It’s just real simple. Now they can resist it. People can resist
it, but typically if they’re basically going along with you, it just kind of goes in one ear
and out the next. It’s like, okay, whatever.

Now, if you’re wondering if any of this has anything to do with anchoring, it does, and
you are right on track. In an upcoming lesson I’m going to give you strategies that are
going to blow you away that you’re going to be able to use to gain huge advantage
tying all this in with anchoring. I’m telling you, you’re going to love it. So that’s kind of
where we’re headed. You’re starting to see some glimpses, I’m sure. But what I’d like
you to do now is to come up with as big of a list as you possibly can on your own of
things that you can use that equal basically real, known, expected, true and verifiable--
things like street signs, flushing the toilet, turning on a faucet--that kind of stuff, and I
want you just to make as big a list as you possibly can.

So stop the program and do that. And then, what I want you to do is practice
languaging these so they’re smooth. We’re going on to slide seventeen. You’ve got to
practice languaging them so they’re smooth. That’s the key. It can’t sound like. . . you
can’t start cracking up when you do it. All right? Just make it smooth.
Now, you can use this as you start a presentation to have them remember something
later on. You could say, ‘Now, you probably have a real desire for why you came here
tonight. You have a desire to accomplish something of importance for yourself. And
you may have yet to come to the conclusion that what I’m going to be talking about is
the right answer. But I’d like you to imagine that in about. . .well, in a little ways, in a
little time period, I’m going to actually show you something that I think will make the
point very clear. It’s a slide that I’ll be showing you and you’re going to know this slide
because it’s purple colored. And when you see it, you may just immediately have the
thought, ‘All right, this really is for me. Now I get it.’ I’ll let you come up with your own
conclusion on that, okay?’

And then go on. Well, what have you done? You’ve just had them rehearse seeing a
purple slide with something on it that is going to make them think, ‘wow, this is for
me.’ So that slide, you’d want to put a purple background on it at the point in your
presentation when basically you’re giving some proof element that they would have to
accept. . . if they accept it as true, then it will trigger what you’ve just programmed. So
it’s a way of putting into the figure what you want them to think or do.

You can use it to recall a commitment to something, to stop buyer’s remorse. I’m going
to get into that in great detail in a minute. You can automatically get someone to think
something when you’re not there, to remind them when the trigger is present, like a
road sign, the sound of water, or whatever. It doesn’t even have to be an agreement,
just, by the way, I want to make sure you remember to do X or Y, so for example, on the
way home tonight, when you pass by Division Street, will that remind you to make sure
and drop off the movie before you get home? See? That kind of thing.

Also, you can use this to make predictions about what you want someone to conclude
that are self fulfilling just like I. . . well that’s actually what I just demonstrated. So you
can predict that they will think X when you get to Y point in the presentation. Saying it
will help make it happen because they have to rehearse it even to make sense of that
sentence. That’s why it’s so powerful.

Let’s go on to slide eighteen. And I want to talk with you now about stopping buyers’
remorse. The first step to this is to get a commitment. Now, before you’re asking for a
commitment, I assume by now you should already have their values. You know that it’s
critically important to get their values. Okay? So you get their values and in the course
of your presentation, and you get a commitment from them. ‘Okay, I’m going to go
ahead and buy this. Yup. I’m going to go ahead and do it.’

Now, you pretty much want to do three things. You want to first suggest that someone
like a friend might ridicule them for making this decision and ask them what they
would say to them if that happened. So in other words, you just get them. . . they’ve
committed. Yup, I’m going to do it. Let me give you some languaging that I’ve used a
lot to make this happen.

‘Fantastic. Well let’s go ahead and get you started then. Great. Here’s the application.
Go ahead and get to filling that out. I’ll start filling this other thing out.’ So they’re
going along. Okay? And now you get them to sign the contract and they’re all happy.
And you say, ‘Great. Congratulations.’ And they go, ‘Well, thank you.’ And you go,
‘Look, let me just ask you a couple of quick questions. You’re happy about this, right?
Everything feels good?’ ‘Oh, yeah.’

‘OH, man, really good. All right. Well let’s just say. . . ‘ And by the way, that’s. . . I’ve
got the commitment. And if I wanted, I could reinforce it with their values. ‘You’re
happy right?’ ‘Absolutely.’ ‘Well, obviously, it makes sense because what you said is
you wanted to have more security and you wanted to have more of Y and Z, so it makes
sense.’ And they go, ‘Absolutely.’ And you go, ‘All right. Let’s say that you’re telling a
friend of yours about this decision today. And let’s say that they begin to ridicule you
for doing this. Now, what would you say to them if that happened, that would cause
you to really feel good and to continue to feel good about the decision we’ve made
here?’

And then shut up and let them answer. Okay? And they’re going to go, ‘Well, it’s none
of their business what I do. I mean, after all, . . .’ So the first one I start with is like a
friend a bit removed. Okay? You’re going to see how I zero it right in. But I want to
make the first on real easy for them to be able to do. ‘Well, my friend doesn’t have
anything to say about whether I buy life insurance or how I protect my assets. I’ll just
tell them, really, this is my decision. It’s a good one, and that they ought to talk to you
too.’

And you say, ‘Absolutely. That’s fantastic. Well, let me ask this. Let’s say your spouse
didn’t understand or agree with your decision and let’s just say that happened. What
would you say to them if that happened so that you could continue to remain
committed with the decision that you’ve made?’

And just wait. Okay? Now, actually in the writing that I wrote for you it says, if that
happened so that they could remain committed to their decision, but actually, you’re
saying it about the person that just made the decision. So what would you say to your
spouse that would get them to understand that you would be absolutely rock solid,
continue to be committed with this decision, you would feel really good about it? And
let them go through it.

Now you may need to help them a little. If you do, that’s fine, but try to let them come
up with it all on their own. Usually they’ll say, ‘Well, no, they trust me on this. This is
after all, this is how it works. I make these kinds of decisions and if I didn’t feel good
about it, I wouldn’t do it. I mean. . .and they know it and that’s the way it is.’

Or something like that. Okay? If they say, ‘Well, gee, I don’t know what I’d do.’ Go,
‘Well, think about it. Think it through for a minute. Think about what they might say
and how you would handle that.’ And literally give them the time to think about it and
to make it happen. That’s just really important.

Now, when you get that one done, then you say something like this. ‘And you know,
even though it’s not something that I think a person like you would have any difficulty
with, sometimes a person begins to doubt their own decision. So if that began to happen
for you, just prior to that doubt surfacing, what would cause you to remember the
reasons that you decided to do this so that you would stay committed with your
decision? What would. . . just prior to doubting, what would immediately surface that
would cause you to remember why we did this tonight?’

And they’ll go, ‘Well, you know, I think just knowing that I did the right thing. It just
feels good.’ And you say, ‘Absolutely. That’s correct. Perfect.’

Now let me tell you something. If you do those three things like I just told you, you will
very rarely, and I mean so rarely you’ll count them on one hand, find someone
changing their mind. If you do it like I taught you how, it locks them, literally, into their
decision.
Now, this is so powerful I’ve often thought of just not explaining it quite this blatantly.
I’ve had a couple of very powerful experiences with this and I’d like to share them with
you, a couple of stories that I think will help you understand.

First, many, many, many years ago I was brought into a car dealership to teach them
persuasion skills. Now, the people at this dealership, for whatever reason, weren’t all
that excited about actually spending time to learn how to do persuasion. I was shocked.
I figured, well, man, management has spent a lot of money to bring me here to teach
them how to do this and these guys are going to be thrilled. They’re going to love every
minute of it.

Man, I could not get them to even sit still for five minutes to learn. I was shocked. But
that’s okay. I was going to do my part the best I could. So I taught and taught and
taught. Nearing the end of the training, I taught them how to do this strategy and let me
tell you that almost without exception, it stopped all of them dead in their tracks and
they were. . . You could see their minds at work, and they listened. They role played it
with me. They figured this one out.

This was very early in my career and I didn’t really understand what it meant that I was
teaching. . . that’s why I said to you later on, I almost decided later on not to be so
explicit in the teaching of this or to teach it at all because it just really worried me. I’ve
gotten beyond that now as you can tell, but this impacted me quite significantly.

I finished up my training and that was that. They were happy with me. The company
was happy, the people seemed happy, everything was good. I left and went on about
my life. Didn’t think anything really about it.

I think it was the better part of a year later, maybe more than a year, somewhere like a
year or so later, I got a call from the guy that hired me. And he said, ‘Kenrick, how you
been?’ I said, ‘I’ve been really good. How about you?’ He said, ‘Well, you know, we’ve
been well. We’ve been better, but we’re doing okay.’ And I said, ‘Well, how can I help
you?’ And he said, ‘Well, what do you charge now for a day of your time.’ I said, ‘Well,
it depends on what I’m doing. What do you have in mind?’ ‘Well, we’re currently
encountering very significant difficulty and we’d like to pay you to come back in and
do some negotiating for us and help us out.’ I said, ‘Well, tell me about what you’re
talking about and I’ll see what I would charge you.’
He goes, ‘Well, do you remember there was a strategy you taught my guys?’ He said,
‘They really liked it, but somehow we’ve kind of run afoul with the bank.’ He said, ‘The
banks have pulled our funding and we can’t . . . without this funding, we’re going to go
under like immediately, but we’re certain that you can explain to the bank and help us
and negotiate us out of this difficulty.’

All of the sudden the light went off in my brain. And I said, ‘Wait just a minute. You’re
talking about where I taught them how to lock people into a decision, right?’ And he
goes, ‘Yeah.’ I said, ‘Okay, let me just take a couple of WAGS. . .’ You know what a
WAG is? Wild Ass Guess? I said, ‘First of all, what’s happened is, your customers have
defaulted on their first or second or third payments and they’re happening in large
numbers. Is that right?’

‘Well, yes. That’s what’s happening. How did you know?’ I said, ‘Well, I’m just taking a
WAG here. And let me just ask you, is the reason for that because they were sold a car
that was beyond their ability to pay for?’ ‘Well, you know, that’s subjective, right. I
mean, if they bought it, then nobody held a gun to their head.’ And I go, ‘Well, you
kind of did, though. What you did is exactly what I told you not to do which is to go
out and influence people against their will. In other words, you took people that maybe
had X budget, and it was real, and you got them to afford X more in their mind and to
go along with it and they were locked into the deal and they couldn’t get out, right?’

‘Well, I guess you could explain it that way, but that’s a pretty negative way to explain
it.’ And I go, ‘But that’s real, right?’ He goes, ‘Well, yeah.’ I said, ‘Okay, I’ll tell you
what. I’ll help you on one condition.’ He said, ‘What’s that?’ I said, ‘You go back to ever
customer that defaulted on their loan, you go back to them, and you ask them, you just
ask them, you do a needs assessment, you find out how much they really could afford
for a car, you offer to put them in the right car, and you absorb the expense and then I’ll
go to the bank, explain what happened, that there was a little misunderstanding in a
strategy, etc., etc., and that you’ve already made everything right.’ The guy says, ‘No
way. We’d go broke.’ And he said, ‘We can’t do that.’ And I go, ‘Well, I can’t help you
unless you do because you’ve really been unethical with your customers.’

I never did hear how that story came out. I don’t know what happened to them. But I
can tell you that I was horrified when I learned how they had used the strategy. I hadn’t
thought of using it real negatively.
Now, once I kind of got past that, later on in my life, . . . This might have been a little bit
before that. I was running a health spa and a kid came in, young man, eighteen years
old or so, and he wanted to look at purchasing a health spa membership. He had a
thirty day free pass. And I was teaching my staff how to close, how to get this to work,
how to turn people from a free pass into a paid membership, etc., and I was exceptional
at it, personally, and so I was showing them how to do it.

So I had three or four people trailing and listening as I showed this kid around. So we
went through a workout together and he was real excited about it and then after the
workout we sat down in the office and I had already been layering it in thick and heavy
about what I wanted him to do. And I went through the presentation and he agreed he
wanted to buy.

So, because I was teaching everybody, I didn’t need to, but because I was teaching
everybody, I said to this kid, ‘All right, well let me just ask you a question. You’re
excited about this, right?’ And he goes, ‘Oh, yeah, man.’ The kid wanted to meet girls
and stuff. ‘Yeah, man. I met gorgeous women here. I’m going to be able to work out and
get in even better shape. I’m excited.’ And I said, ‘Great. Perfect. That’s really nice. So,’ I
said, ‘let me just ask you a question. Sometimes, you know, when a person makes a
decision like this, a friend of theirs hears about it and they go, ‘Dude, you’re going to
buy what? Why are you paying for a health spa? I mean, you could go out and have a
drink and meet women. I mean, I can’t believe you do something like this.’ And if that
happens, what would you say to them that would cause you to really feel good about
what you’re doing and keep your commitment?’ He goes, ‘I’d tell them to kiss my arse.
I mean, that’s my decision and I can do it if I want. And why don’t they be cool and
come join me.’

I go, ‘Well, great. I’d love that. Just bring them into see me and I’ll help them.’ He said,
‘Fantastic.’ I said, ‘Sometimes a person’s family doesn’t like it. Mom or dad says, ‘I can’t
believe it, son, you’re getting out on your own, you’re doing your own thing, and here
you are going to spend a hundred bucks a month for something you absolutely don’t
need.’ And if that were to happen, what would you do?’ And the kid says, ‘Well, I’d just
tell them, look, I’m eighteen, I can make this decision and I want it.’ I said, ‘Well, that
makes sense to me.’
And I said, ‘Of course, I know this wouldn’t happen with someone like you, but
sometimes a person begins to doubt their own decision and if that were to happen to
you, what would come up just before the doubt enters your mind that would
completely kick it out, knock it away and make you feel fantastic about what it is that
you’ve done tonight?’

He goes, ‘Man, the chicks. I want to be around the girls and this club has them and I
want to get in better shape, and after all, that’s going to be a part of my life. Wow. This
is what I want.’

And I said, ‘Okay, great. Fantastic.’

Everything’s good. Write up the membership and out he goes.

That night, I get a call. It’s his mom. ‘May I speak with the manager please?’ I said,
‘Yup, that’s me.’ And said, ‘Sir, tonight my son came in. He bought a membership from
you and I’d like you to cancel that for him right now, please.’ And I said, ‘Okay, well I
can’t do that on the phone. I need the paperwork back, but if you’ll just have him bring
it in, I’ll be happy to do it for him.’ She said, ‘Okay, no problem. I’m going to send him
in in the morning.’ I said, ‘Okay, great. No problem.’

So the kid comes back the next day, he has his papers and he comes to see me. He said,
‘Hey, you know my mom called, right?’ I said, ‘Yeah.’ He goes, ‘Well, look, I don’t
really want to cancel this, but she really wants me to. But look, could I just work out
today? Would that be okay with you? Could I work out and hang out and then I’ll just
stop back by and give you the papers?’ I said, ‘Absolutely.’

So he went and worked out, but instead of stopping back by at the end of the night, he
snuck out. So he didn’t see me.

I didn’t think too much of it. I figured maybe he changed his mind. That night, I get
another call from mommy. Mommy says, ‘May I speak with the manager please?’ I said,
‘Speaking.’ She said, ‘Sir, we had a discussion last night. My son bought the
membership, his name is such and such. I instructed you to cancel the membership.’ I
said, ‘Well, ma’am, first of all, you don’t instruct me to do anything. I understand what
you said last night. I agreed. I told you to have him bring the papers in. And as far as I
know he brought the papers in with him, but he asked to work out, I said absolutely.
He asked if he could just stop by when he was done and give me the papers. I said sure.
And he did, but he left. He didn’t give me the papers. He didn’t turn them in and he
didn’t ask to cancel it. So what do you want me to do? I expected that he would stop by
and give me the papers.’

She said, ‘Well, we’re going to put an end to that. Tomorrow my husband and I are
going to come in with him and you will cancel this.’ And I said, ‘Okay. That’s fine.
Come on in.’ She said, ‘Okay.’

The next day, here comes in the whole family. This kid is absolutely dejected. He’s
looking down. He can’t face me. She said, ‘Tell him’, the mother said. And he said, ‘My
mom wants me to cancel this.’ And I said, ‘Okay. Did you bring the papers.’ He goes,
‘Yeah,’ but he goes, ‘But mom, really, it’s my decision. I’m eighteen, I should have the
right to do this. I don’t want to do this.’ Mom said, ‘You go cancel that right now.’

I mean this kid was struggling, almost with tears in his eyes. It didn’t hit me. All of the
sudden though, I remembered, oh, my goodness. I did the installation of the future
thoughts and behavior strategy that I just taught you. I said, ‘Wait a minute. Let me sit
down with you for a minute. Come all of you into the office. Come sit down.’ So we did.
I told the boy, I said, ‘Listen, remember us talking and I went through and asked you,
you know, suppose a friend didn’t like it or what have you?’ He said, ‘Yeah.’ I said,
‘You know, sometimes parents really do know best and sometimes a parent will look at
you and they know what your circumstance is and your situation is, and they’ll want
the absolute best for you. Do you think your mom wants the best for you?’ And he
said, ‘Yes, I do.’ I said, ‘Then you know what? Let’s just reverse what you and I talked
about. Let’s just assume for a moment that this has nothing to do with your ability to
make a good decision and it has to do with your mother wanting the best for you and
wanting you to stop. Why don’t we just cancel this?’

He goes, ‘No, no, no, because I gave my word and I told you the way I would handle
this and I don’t want to do that.’ And I said, ‘I understand. But what if we went ahead
and did it anyway? You give some time to think about it. I’ll let you use the club for
thirty days. And if at that point, you want to go in and purchase it again, then you and
your mom come and talk with me.’ He said, ‘Okay. All right. I’ll do that.’ And guess
what, he didn’t continue.
But I knew what I was facing. I realized that I had locked him in so hard the guy
probably would have broken his arm to keep from having to cancel this. So I made it
easy for him because I knew it was the right thing to do.

But I hope you understand why it’s important to use this technique with integrity.
Those two stories should show you. . .and the first story with the car dealer what
happens when you use it without integrity, and in the second story, what happens
when you use it without thinking. So that you actually lock people in that shouldn’t be
locked in.

It has inordinate power. When you use those three things that I went through with
you—what would happen if a friend ridicules you, what would happen if a spouse or
parent tries to talk you out of it, what would happen if you began to doubt your own
decision—you do it with those three things and I’m telling you, you will lock people in
so hard and so powerful, you can hardly believe it.

You might say to me, ‘Kenrick, if I do that, and if they were going to cancel, maybe now
they’re going to cancel instead.’ If they go, ‘I don’t know, if my spouse doesn’t like it, I
guess I just wouldn’t do it.’ Well, guess what? You haven’t sold them, have you?
Wouldn’t you rather know about it right then then count your eggs before they hatch
and think that you’ve got a sale when you don’t and it turns right around and cancels
on you? That’s what I thought.

So better to hear it right then and there then to think you got something done and
didn’t.

Go to the last slide, slide number seventeen for your home play and again study
stratagems thirty-one and thirty-two. Come up with several ways you can use them. I
highly recommend you post these so that you can learn from each other on this.

Next, write at least, and I’m just giving you minimal here, at least ten double binds. Post
them to the discussion forum. Most important, practice saying them to make them
sound natural.

And then write up ten examples in which you put future thoughts into the minds of
your prospective customer and post those to the forum.
Write three examples of stopping buyers’ remorse with this strategy and post that to the
forum. Okay?

So if you do this and you begin to implement this, let me tell you, you’ll have a lot of
victories to celebrate which I highly recommend you do all the time. Listen to the light
and sound session on these strategies, it’ll help you to integrate them a lot and you’ll be
off and running to ever greater and higher successes.

We have really exciting material in the final few sessions that we have together so stay
tuned and look forward to them. I know I am to giving them to you, and I would again,
like I always do, recommend that you listen to this session many times. There is so
much material here. If you’ll listen to it over and again you’ll really find even more
value and it’ll sink in deeper and it’ll be more available to you when you want it.

All right? Go out and persuade lots and let me know about your successes, would you?
I can’t wait to hear how you’re doing. So just write and let me know, ‘Hey, I did this
and it worked. I’m happy to tell you.’ And if you had trouble with something, I’d like to
know that too.

So all right. I’ll talk to you on our next lesson. Have lots of fun as you go out and use
these skills. See you in the next lesson.