HELPING YOUR CHILD SUCCEED IN SCHOOL

BY
JACKSON I. OSUH
DEPARTMENT OF PSYCHOLOGY
UNIVERSITY OF IBADAN, IBADAN

Introduction

Every child has the potential to succeed in school and in life generally and every parent, family

member and caregiver can help. Answer to the question of how we help our children succeed can

be drawn from a combination of common sense and research about how children learn and about

how to prepare them to learn.

We know, for example, that children tend to do the same things as their parents do. What we say

and do in our daily lives can help them to develop positive attitudes toward school and learning

and to build confidence in themselves as learners. Showing our children that we both value

education and use it in our daily lives provides them with powerful models and contributes

greatly to their success in school.

Parents are children’s first and most important teacher. It is therefore very important that all

parents build and keep strong ties to the children’s schools and education. When parents and

families are involved in their children’s schools, the children do better and have better feelings

about going to school. We help our children to succeed by working with teachers to make sure

that they provide curricula and use teaching methods that are based on strong scientific evidence

about what works best in helping students to learn.

This paper is aimed at providing information that can be used by parents to help their children to

succeed in school. The basic fact is that although school is very important, it does not really take
up very much of a child’s time. The average time a child spends in school vary from country to

country and school to school within the same country. In Nigeria for instance, the school year

averages about 240 days and students are often in school more hours per day. Clearly, the hours

and days that a child is not in school are important for learning, too. Parents must endeavor to

engage the child positively within the hours the child is not in school. The following are some

things parents must do to help the child to make the most of that time:

ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILD TO READ

Helping your child become a reader is the single most important thing that you can do to help the

child to succeed in school and in life. The importance of reading simply cannot be overstated.

Reading helps children in all school subjects. More important, it is the key to lifelong learning.

Here are some tips on how to help your child become a reader.

 Start early. When your child is still a baby, reading aloud to the child should become

part of your daily routine. At first, read for no more than a few minutes at a time, several

times a day. As your child grows older, you should be able to tell if the child wants you

to read for longer periods. As you read, talk with your child. Encourage him/her to ask

questions and to talk about the story. Ask the child to predict what will come next. When

your child begins to read, ask him/her to read to you from books or magazines that the

child enjoys.

 Make sure that your home has lots of reading materials that are appropriate for

your child. Keep books, magazines and newspapers in the house. Reading materials

don’t have to be new or expensive. You often can find good books and magazines for

your child at yard or library sales. Ask family members and friends to consider giving
 your child books and magazine subscriptions as gifts for birthdays or other special

occasions. Set aside quiet time for family reading. Some families even enjoy reading

aloud to each other, with each family member choosing a book, story, poem or article to

read to the others.

 Show that you value reading. Let your child see you reading for pleasure as well as for

performing your routine activities as an adult such as reading letters and recipes,

directions and instructions, newspapers, computer screens and so forth. Go with him/her

to the library and check out books for yourself. When your child sees that reading is

important to you, he/she is likely to decide that it is important to him/her too. You may

enroll in reading skills if you are deficient for the sake of your child.

 Get help for your child if the child has reading problem. When a child is having

reading difficulties, the reason might be simple to understand and deal with. For example,

your child might have trouble seeing and need glasses or he/she may just need more help

with reading skills. If you think that your child needs extra help, ask the teachers about

special services, such as after-school or holiday coaching programs.

The good news is that no matter how long it takes, most children can learn to read.

Parents, teachers and other professionals can work together to determine if a child has a

learning disability or other problem and then provide the right help as soon as possible.

When a child gets such help, chances are very good that such a child will develop the

skills he/she needs to succeed in school and in life.

Make sure your child gets any extra help he/she needs as soon as possible and always encourage

the children and praise their efforts.

TALK WITH YOUR CHILD

Talking and listening play major roles in children’s school success. It is through hearing parents

and family members talk and through responding to that talk that young children begin to pick up

the language skills they will need if they are to do well. For example, children who don not hear

a lot of talk and who are not encouraged to talk themselves often have problems learning to read,

which can lead to other school problems. In addition, children who have not learnt to listen

carefully often have trouble following directions and paying attention in class. Find time to talk

any place, for example:

(i) As you walk with your child or ride with him/her in a car or on a bus, talk about what

he/she is doing at school. Ask about school activities such as assembly or a field trip.

Point out and talk about things that you see as you walk—funny signs, new cars, and

interesting people.

(ii) As you shop in a store, talk with your child about prices, differences in brands and

how to pick out good items like drinks, vegetables and fruits. Give your child

directions about where to find certain items, then, have him/her go get them.

(iii) Involve your children in house hold activities and as you do that with them ask your

child to help you follow the steps in a recipe for making cake for example. discuss

with him/her about what can happen if you miss a step or leave out an ingredient.
 (iv) As you fix a sink or repair a broken table, ask your child to hand you the tools that

you name. Talk with him/her about each step you take to complete the repair. Tell

him/her what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. Ask him/her for suggestions

about how you should do something.

(v) As you watch TV together, talk with your child about the programs. If you’re

watching one of her favorite programs, encourage her to tell you about the

background of the characters, which ones she likes and dislikes and who the actors

are. Compare the program to a program that you liked when you were her age.

(vi) As you read a book with your child, pause occasionally to talk to him/her about what

is happening in the book. Help him/her to relate the events in the book to events in

life:

(vii) When your child talks to you, stop what you are doing and pay attention. Look at the

child and ask questions to let him/her know that you have heard what he/she said.

(viii) When your child tells you about something, occasionally repeat what the child said to

let him/her know that you were listening closely.

MONITOR HOMEWORK

Let your child know that you think education is important and so homework has to be done. Here

are some ways to help your child with homework:

(i) Have a special place for your child to study. The homework area does not have to be

fancy. A desk in the bedroom is nice, but for many children, the kitchen table or a

corner of the living room may just be adequate. The area should have good lighting

and it should be fairly quiet. Provide supplies and identify resources such as pencils,
 pens, erasers, writing paper and a dictionary. Other supplies that might be helpful

include a stapler, paper clips, maps, a calculator, a pencil sharpener, tape, glue, paste,

scissors, a ruler, a calculator, index cards, a thesaurus and an almanac. If possible,

keep these items together in one place. If you cannot provide your child with needed

supplies, check with his/her teacher for possible sources of assistance.

(ii) Set a regular time for homework. Having a regular time to do homework helps

children to finish assignments. Of course, a good schedule depends in part on your

child’s age, as well as his/her specific needs. You may need to work with a young

child to develop a schedule. You should give your older child the responsibility for

making up a schedule independently, although you need to make sure that it is a

workable one. You may find it helpful to have him/her write out his/her schedule and

put it in a place where you will see it often, such as on the refrigerator.

(iii) Remove distractions. Turn off the TV and discourage your child from making and

receiving social telephone calls during homework time. (A call to a classmate about

an assignment, however, may be helpful.) If you live in a small or noisy household,

try having all family members take part in a quiet activity during homework time.

You may need to take a noisy toddler outside or into another room to play. If

distractions cannot be avoided, your child may want to complete assignments in the

school library.

(iv) Don’t expect or demand perfection. When your child asks you to look at what he/she

has done (from skating a figure 8 to finishing a math assignment) show interest and

praise him/her when he/she has done something well. If you have criticisms or

suggestions, make them in a helpful way.

you do not know the subject well enough or because you don’t speak or read English as well as

your child. But helping with homework does not mean doing the homework. It is not about

solving the problems for your child, it is about supporting him/her to do his/her best. You may

not know enough about a subject such as calculus to help your child with a specific assignment,

but you can help nonetheless by showing that you are interested, helping him/her get organized,

providing a place and the materials he/she needs to work, monitoring his/her work to see that

he/she completes it and praising his/her efforts.

MONITOR TV VIEWING AND VIDEO GAME PLAYING

Children on average spend far more time watching TV or playing video games than they do

completing homework or other school-related activities. Here are some suggestions for helping

your child to use TV and video games wisely:

(i) Limit the time that you let your child watch TV. Too much television cuts into

important activities in a child’s life, such as reading, playing with friends and talking

with family members.

(ii) Model good TV viewing habits. Remember that children often imitate their parents’

behavior. Children who live in homes in which parents and other family members

watch a lot of TV are likely to spend their time in the same way. Children who live in

homes in which parents and other family members have “quiet” time away from the

TV when they read (either alone to each other), talk to each other, play games or

engage in other activities tend to do the same.

Answer his/her questions. Try to point out the things in TV programs that are like

your child’s everyday life.

(iv) When you cannot watch TV with your child, spot check to see what he/she is

watching. Ask questions after the program has ended. See what excites the child and

what troubles him/her. Find out what the child has learned and remembered.

(v) Limit the amount of time your child spends playing video games. As with TV

programs, be aware of the games the child likes to play and discuss the choices with

him/her.

ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILD TO USE THE LIBRARY

Libraries are places of learning and discovery for everyone. Helping your child find out about

libraries will set the child on the road to being an independent learner. Here are some suggestions

for how to help:

(i) Introduce your child to the library as early as possible. Even when your child is a

toddler, take him/her along to the libraries regularly and encourage the use of school

library to your child.

(ii) When your child goes to the library, let the child ask the librarian to show him/her

around the library and get familiar with the services offered in the library. For

example, in addition to all kinds of books, the library most likely will have magazines

of interest to the child. It will likely have newspapers from many different places.

Most libraries also have tapes and CDs of books, music CDs and tapes, movies on

video and on DVD and many more resources. The library also might have books in
 languages other than English or programs to help the child improve their English

reading skills. The librarian should tell the child about special programs that he/she

might participate in, such as summer reading programs and book clubs and about

services such as homework help.

(iii) Let your child know that he/she must follow the library’s rules of behavior. Libraries

want children to use their materials and services. However, they generally have rules

such as the following that your child needs to know and obey:

—Library materials must be handled carefully.

—Materials that are borrowed must be returned on time. Your child needs to learn how long

he/she can keep materials and what the fine will be for materials that are returned late.

—All library users need to be considerate of each other. Shouting, running and being disruptive

are not appropriate library behaviors.

HELP YOUR CHILD LEARN TO USE THE INTERNET PROPERLY AND

EFFECTIVELY

The Internet/World Wide WEB, a network of computers that connects people and information all

around the world has become an important part of how we learn and of how we interact with

others. For children to succeed today, they must be able to use the Internet. Here are some

suggestions for helping your child learn to do so properly and effectively:

(i) Spend time online with your child. If you do not have a computer at home, use the

library if the library has computers or commercial business centers for you and your

child. Learn along with your child. If you are not familiar with computers or with the
 Internet, ask the librarian or operators in the business center if and when someone is

available to help you and your child learn together to use them. If your child knows

about computers, let him/her teach you. Ask him/her to explain what he/she is doing

and why. Ask him/her to show you his/her favorite Web sites and to tell you what

he/she likes about them. This will help him/her build self-confidence and pride in

his/her abilities.

(ii) Help your child to locate appropriate Internet Web sites. At the same time, make sure

that he/she understands what you think are appropriate Web sites for him/her to visit.

Introduce the child to sites that can help him/her with homework or that relate to the

child’s interests. Pay attention to any games the child might download or copy from

the Internet. Some games are violent or contain sexual or other content that is

inappropriate for children.

(iii) Monitor the amount of time that your child spends online. Internet surfing can be just

as time consuming as watching TV. Do not let it take over your child’s life. Have the

child place a clock near the computer and keep track of how much time he/she is

spending online.

(iv) Teach your child rules for using the Internet safely. Let the child know that he/she

should never do the following:

—tell anyone, including his friends his/her computer password;

—use bad language or send cruel, threatening or untrue e-mail messages;

—give out any personal information, including his name or the names of family members, home

address, phone number, age, school name; or

ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILD TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND TO WORK

INDEPENDENTLY

Taking responsibility and working independently are important qualities for school success. Here

are some suggestions for helping your child to develop these qualities:

(i) Establish rules. Every home needs reasonable rules that children know and can

depend on. Have your child help you to set rules, and then make sure that you enforce

the rules consistently.

(ii) Make it clear to your child that he/she has to take responsibility for what he/she does,

both at home and at school. For example, don’t automatically defend your child if

his/her teacher tells you that he/she is often late to class or is disruptive when in class.

Ask for his/her side of the story. If a charge is true, let the child take the

consequences.

(iii) Work with your child to develop a reasonable, consistent schedule of jobs to do

around the house. List them on a calendar. Younger children can help set the table or

put away their toys and clothes. Older children can help prepare meals and clean up

afterwards.

(iv) Show your child how to break a job down into small steps, then to do the job one step

at a time. This works for everything—getting dressed, cleaning a room or doing a big

homework assignment.
 (v) Make your child responsible for getting ready to go to school each morning. Getting

up on time, making sure that the child has everything he/she needs for the school day

and so forth. If necessary, make a checklist to help the child remember what he/she

has to do.

(vi) Monitor what your child does after school, in the evenings and on weekends. If you

cannot be there when your child gets home, give him/her the responsibility of

checking in with you by phone to discuss his/her plans.

ENCOURAGE ACTIVE LEARNING

Children need active learning as well as quiet learning such as reading and doing homework.

Active learning involves asking and answering questions, solving problems and exploring

interests. Active learning also can take place when your child plays sports, spends time with

friends, acts in a school play, plays a musical instrument or visits museums and bookstores.

To promote active learning, listen to your child’s ideas and respond to them. Let him/her jump in

with questions and opinions when you read books together. When you encourage this type of

give-and-take at home, your child’s participation and interest in school is likely to increase.

CONCLUSION

Education is essential for the development of society. The more educated the people of a society

are, the more civilized and well-disciplined the society might be. Mainly, family has

responsibility to socialize children for making them productive members of society. The more

the parents involve in the process of imparting education to their children, the more the children

might excel in their academic career and to become the productive and responsible members of

society. It has been assumed that academic achievement of students may not only depend on the
quality of schools and the teachers, rather the extent of parental involvement has vital role to

play in academic achievement of their kids.

REFERENCES

American Federation of Teachers. (2001). Helping Your Child Succeed: How Parents &Families

Can Communicate Better with Teachers and School Staff. Washington, DC. (available online at

http://www.aft.org/parentpage/communicating/index.html)

Epstein, Joyce L. (2001). School, Family and Community Partnerships. Boulder, CO: Westview

Press.

U.S. Department of Education. (2002). Helping Your Child with Homework. Washington, DC.

(available online at http://www.nochildleftbehind.gov)

U.S. Department of Education. (2002). Homework Tips for Parents. Washington, DC. (available

online at http://www.nclb.gov/parents/homework/index.html)

U.S. Department of Education. (2002). Helping Your Child Become a Reader. Washington, DC.

(available online at http://www.ed.gov/parents/academic/help/hyc.html).