Book - No Asshole Rule

T he
T he No Asshole
N o A sshole Rule
R ule
Building a Civilized Workplace
Building d CtvthvJ Wbrlphit
and Surviving One That Isn't
and Surviving One Jhut I<n't
ROBERT I. SUTTON, PhD
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2007
ROBERT SUTTON
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C ontents
I ntroduction 1
Chapter 1: What Workplace Assholes Do and Why You

Know So Many 7
Chapter 2: The Damage Done: Why Every Workplace

Needs the Rule 27
Chapter 3: How to Implement the Rule, Enforce It,

and Keep It Alive 53
Chapter 4: How to Stop Your “Inner Jerk” from

Getting Out
Chapter 5: When Assholes Reign: Tips for Surviving

Nasty People and Workplaces 127
Chapter 6: The Virtues of Assholes 155
Chapter 7; The No Asshole Ruleas a Way of Life 179
Additional Reading 18 9
A cknowledgments 193
I ndex 1 99
Introduction
When I encounter a mean-spirited person, the first thing

I think is; “Wow, what an asshole!”
I bet you do, too. You might call such people bullies,
creeps, jerks, weasels, tormentors, tyrants, serial slammers,
despots, or unconstrained egomaniacs, but for me at least,
asshole best captures the fear and loathing that I have for
these nasty people.
I wrote this book because most of us, unfortunately,
have to deal with assholes in our workplaces at one tirm
or another. The No Asshole Rule shows how these destructive
characters damage their fellow human beings and under
mine organizational performance. This little book also
shows how to keep these jerks out of your workplace,
how to reform those you are stuck with, how to expel
those who can’t or won’t change their ways, and how to
best limit the destruction that these demeaning creeps
cause.
I first heard of “the no asshole rule” more than fifteen
years ago, during a fao ' ,r meeting at Stanford University.
2 I ntroduction I ntroduction 3
Our small department was a remarkably supportive and I knew of was “the no asshole rule,” but HBR was too re
collegial place to work, especially compared to the petty spectable, too distinguished, and quite frankly, too uptight
but relentless nastiness that pervades much of academic to print that mild obscenity in their pages. I argued that
life. On that particular day, our chairman Warren Haus- censored and watered-down variations like “the no jerk
man was leading a discussion about who we ought to rule” or “the no bully rule” simply didn’t have the same
hire as a new faculty member. ring of authenticity or emotional appeal, and I would be
One of my colleagues proposed that we hire a interested in writing an essay only if they actually printed
renowned researcher from another school, which pro the phrase “the no asshole rule.”
voked another to say, “Listen, I don’t care if that guy won I expected HBR to politely brush me aside. I secretly
the Nobel Prize. . . . I just don’t want any assholes ruining looked forward to complaining about the sanitized and
our group.” We all had a good laugh, but then we started naive view of organizational life presented in H BR’s
talking in earnest about how to keep demeaning and ar pages— that their editors lacked the courage to print lan
rogant jerks out of our group. From that moment on, guage that reflected how people actually think and talk.
when discussing whether to hire faculty, it was legitimate I was wrong. HBR not only published the rule (under
for any of us to question the decision by asking: “The can the headline “More Trouble Than They’re Worth”) in their
didate seems smart, but would this hire violate our no ass “Breakthrough Ideas” section in February 2004, but the
hole rule?” And it made the department a better place. word asshole was printed a total of eight times in this short
The language in other workplaces is more polite, in essay! After the article appeared, I received an even big
cluding rules against being a “jerk,” “weasel,” or “bully.” ger surprise. Until this column, I had published four other
Other times, the rule is enforced but left unspoken. What HBR articles, and those pieces did generate some e-mail,
ever form the rule takes, a workplace that enforces “the phone calls, and press inquiries. But those reactions were
no asshole rule” is where I want to be, not the thousands trivial compared to the deluge provoked by the “no ass
of organizations that ignore, forgive, or even encourage hole” essay, even though it was buried among nineteen
nastiness. other “Breakthrough Ideas.” I received dozens and dozens
I didn’t plan to write The No Asshole Rule. It all started in of e-mails in response to the “no asshole” essay (and a
2003 with a half-serious proposal that I made to Harvard follow-up piece that I published in CIO Insight), and I still
Business Review when their senior editor Julia Kirby asked if get more e-mail each month.
I had any suggestions for HBR’s annual list of “Break The first e-mail I got was from a manager at a roofing
through Ideas.” I told Julia that the best business practice company who said th ' ^ essay inspired hi inally do
4 I ntroduction I ntroduction 5
something about a productive but abusive employee. Then least you will have identified your priorities without incur
messages started rolling in from people in all kinds of jobs ring the cost of a consultant.”
from all around the world; an Italian journalist, a Spanish Of course, lawyers and law firms are not unique. Nasty
management consultant, an accountant at Towers-Perrin in people are found in virtually every occupation and coun
Boston, a “minister counselor for management” at the U.S. try; for instance, arse, arsehole, and more politely, a nasty
Embassy in London, the manager of a luxury hotel in piece o f work are commonly uttered in the United Kingdom
Shanghai, a benefits manager at a museum in Pittsburgh, and would fit our inventory of asshole synonyms. The term
the CEO of Mission Ridge Capital, a researcher at the asshat is a slightly less crude variation that is popular in on
United States Supreme Court, and on and on. line communities. Assclown is a version that was popular
And while I expected my academic colleagues who ized by World Wrestling Entertainment star Chris Jericho
study topics like bullying and aggression at work to find and The Office, the hit British (and now American) tele
the term asshole too crude and too imprecise, many of them vision series about an idiotic and oppressive boss. What
expressed support, including one who wrote, “Your work ever these creep s are called, m any o f them are clueless
on the ‘no asshole rule’ has certainly resonated with my about their behavior. Even worse, some of them are proud
colleagues and me. In fact, we often speculate that we o f it. Other jerks are troubled and embarrassed by their
would be able to predict a large proportion of variance in behavior, but can’t seem to contain or control their mean
job satisfaction with one ‘flaming asshole item.’ Basically, ness. All are similar, however, in that they infuriate, de
if we could ask whether [their] boss is one, we would not mean, and damage their peers, superiors, underlings, and
need any other [survey] items. . . . Thus, I agree that while at times, clients and customers, too.
potentially offensive, no other word quite captures the I was convinced to write The No Asshole Rule by the fear
essence of this type of person.” and despair that people expressed to me, the tricks they
My little HBR piece also generated press reports, sto used to survive with dignity in asshole-infested places, the
ries, and interviews about the rule, at outlets including Na revenge stories that m ad e m e laugh out loud, and the other
tional Public Radio, Fortune Small Business, and my favorite, small wins that they celebrated against mean-spirited peo
a column by Aric Press, editor in chief of the American ple. I also wrote The No Asshole Rule because there is so
Lawyer, who urged law firms to institute “jerk audits.” Press much evidence that civilized workplaces are not a naive
proposed to firm leaders that “what I’m suggesting is that dream, that they do exist, and that pervasive contempt can
you ask yourselves this question: why do we put up with be erased and replaced with mutual respect when a team
this behavior? If the answer is 2,500 value-billed hours, at or organization is managed right— and civilized workplaces
6 I ntroduction
usually enjoy superior performance as well. I hope that this

little book will resonate with and provide comfort to all of
you who feel oppressed by the jerks that you work with,
serve, or struggle to lead. I also hope that it will provide
you with practical ideas for driving out and reforming nasty
C h apter 1
people or, when that isn’t possible, help you limit the dam
age that these creeps do to you and to your workplace.
What Workplace Assholes Do and Why

You Know So Many
W h o deserves to be branded as an asshole? Many of us

use the term indiscriminately, applying it to anyone who
annoys us, gets in our way, or happens to be enjoying
greater success than us at the moment. But a precise def
inition is useful if you want to implement the no asshole
rule. It can help you distinguish between those colleagues
and customers you simply don’t like from those who de
serve the label. It can help you distinguish people who
are having a bad day or a bad moment ( “temporary ass
holes”) from persistently nasty and destructive jerks ( “cer
tified assholes”). And a good definition can help you
explain to others why your coworker, boss, or customer
deserves the label— or come to grips with why others say
you are an asshole (at least behind your back) and why
you might have earned it.
8 T he N o A sshole R ule What Assholes Do and Why You Know So Many 9
Researchers such as Bennett Tepper who write about • Test One: After talking to the alleged asshole, does
psychological abuse in the workplace define it as “the sus the “target” feel oppressed, humiliated, de-energized,
tained display of hostile verbal and nonverbal behavior, or belittled by the person? In particular, does the tar
excluding physical contact.” That definition is useful as far get feel worse about him- or herself?
as it goes. But it isn’t detailed enough for understanding • Test Two: Does the alleged asshole aim his or her
what assholes do and their effects on others. An experi venom at people who are less powerful rather than at
ence I had as a young assistant professor is instructive for those people who are more powerful?
understanding how assholes are defined in this little book.

I can assure you that after that interaction with my
When I arrived at Stanford as a twenty-nine-year-old re
colleague— which lasted less than a minute— I felt worse
searcher, I was an inexperienced, ineffective, and extremely
about myself. I went from feeling the happiest I’d ever
nervous teacher. I got poor teaching evaluations in my
been about my work performance to worrying that my
first year on the job, and I deserved them. I worked to be
teaching award would be taken as a sign that I wasn’t
come more effective in the classroom and was delighted
serious enough about research (the main standard used
to win the best-teacher award in my department (by stu
for evaluating Stanford professors). This episode also
dent vote) at the graduation ceremony at the end of my
demonstrates that although some assholes do their dam
third year at Stanford.
age through open rage and arrogance, it isn’t always
But my delight lasted only minutes. It evaporated when that way. People who loudly insult and belittle their un
a jealous colleague ran up to me immediately after the derlings and rivals are easier to catch and discipline.
graduating students marched out and gave me a big hug. Two-faced backstabbers like my colleague, those who
She secretly and expertly extracted every ounce of joy I have enough skill and emotional control to save their
was experiencing by whispering in my ear in a conde dirty work for moments when they can’t get caught, are
scending tone (while sporting a broad smile for public tougher to stop— even though they may do as much
consumption), “Well, Bob, now that you have satisfied the damage as a raging maniac.
babies here on campus, perhaps you can settle down and There are many other actions— sociologists call them in
do some real work.” teraction moves or simply moves— that assholes use to de
mean and deflate their victims. I’ve listed twelve common
This painful memory demonstrates the two tests that I moves, a dirty dozen, to illustrate the range of these sub
use for spotting whether a person is acting like an asshole: tle and not subtle behaviors used by assholes. I suspect
10 T he No A sshole R ule What Assholes Do and Why You Know So Many 11
that you can add many more moves that you’ve seen, been The not so sweet thing that my colleague whispered in
subjected to, or done to others. I hear and read about new my ear also helps demonstrate the difference between a
mean-spirited moves nearly every day. Whether we are temporary asshole and a certified asshole. It isn’t fair to call
talking about personal insults, status slaps (quick moves someone a certified asshole based on a single episode like
that bat down social standing and pride), shaming or “sta this one; we can only call the person a temporary asshole.
tus degradation” rituals, “jokes” that are insult delivery sys So while I would describe the colleague in my story as
tems, or treating people as if they are invisible, these and being a temporary asshole, we would need more informa
hundreds of other moves are similar in that they can leave
tion before labeling her as a certified asshole. Nearly all of
targets feeling attacked and diminished, even if only mo
us act like assholes at times; I plead guilty to multiple of
mentarily. These are the means that assholes use to do
fenses. I once became angry with a staff member who I
their dirty work.
(wrongly) believed was tiying to take an office away from
our group. I sent an insulting e-mail to her and a copy to
her boss, other faculty members, and her subordinates. She
THE DIRTY DOZEN told me, “You made me cry.” I later apologized to her. And
although I don’t demean one person after another day in
Common Everyday Actions That Assholes Use
and day out, I was guilty of being a jerk during that episode.
(If you have never acted like an asshole even once in your
1. Personal insults
2. Invading one’s “personal territory” life, please contact me immediately. I want to know how
3. Uninvited physical contact you’ve accomplished this superhuman feat.)
4. Threats and intimidation, both verbal and nonverbal It is far harder to qualify as a certified asshole: a person
5. “Sarcastic jokes" and “teasing” used as insult delivery needs to display a persistent pattern, to have a history of
systems
episodes that end with one “target” after another feeling be
6. Withering e-mail flames
7. Status slaps intended to humiliate their victims littled, put down, humiliated, disrespected, oppressed, de
8. Public shaming or “status degradation” rituals energized, and generally worse about themselves.
9. Rude interruptions Psychologists make the distinction between states (fleeting
10. Two-faced attacks feelings, thoughts, and actions) and traits (enduring person
11. Dirty looks
ality characteristics) by looking for consistency across places
12. Treating people as if they are invisible
and times— if someone consistently takes actions that leave
12 T he No A sshole R ule What Assholes Do and Why You Know So Many 13
a trail of victims in their wake, they deserve to be branded called her into his office and screamed, “You asshole! You
as certified assholes. forgot to remind me to get flowers for Anjelica Huston’s
We all have the potential to act like assholes under the birthday!” This former assistant added, “And as he slowly
wrong conditions, when we are placed under pressure or, disappears behind his automatic closing door, the last thing
especially, when our workplace encourages everyone— es I see is his finger, flipping me off.”
pecially the “best” and “most powerful” people— to act that Nor is such behavior confined to men. According to the
way. Although it is best to use the term sparingly, some peo New York Times, Linda Wachner, former CEO of Warnaco, was
ple do deserve to be certified as assholes because they are infamous for publicly demeaning employees for missing
consistently nasty across places and times. “Chainsaw” Al performance goals or “simply displeasing her.” Chris Heyn
Dunlap is a well-known candidate. The former Sunbeam former president of Warnaco’s Hathaway shirt division, tolc
CEO who wrote the book Mean Business, Dunlap was notori the New York Times, “When you did not make numbers, she
ous for the verbal abuse he heaped on employees. In John would dress you down and make you feel knee-high, and
Byrne’s book Chainsaw, a Sunbeam executive described it was terrifying.” Other former employees reported that
Dunlap as “like a dog barking at you for hours. . . . He just Wachner’s attacks were often “personal rather than profes
yelled, ranted, and raved. He was condescending, belliger sional, and not infrequently laced with crude references to
ent, and disrespectful.” sex, race, or ethnicity.”
Another candidate is producer Scott Rudin, known as Famous bosses aren’t the only ones who persistently de
one of the nastiest Hollywood bosses. The Wall Street Journal mean their underlings. Many of the e-mail messages I got
estimated that he went through 250 personal assistants be after my Harvard Business Review essay were tales about
tween 2000 and 2005; Rudin claimed his records show only bosses who belittled and insulted their underlings day after
119 (but admitted this estimate excluded assistants who day. Take the reader who wrote from Scotland, “A woman
lasted less than two weeks). His ex-assistants told the Jour I know had a horrible boss. It was a very small office and
nal that Rudin routinely swore and hollered at them— one didn’t even have a toilet. She became pregnant and conse
said he was fired for bringing Rudin the wrong breakfast quently needed the loo a lot. Not only would she have to
muffin, which Mr. Rudin didn’t recall but admitted was “en go to a neighbouring shop, but the boss felt that the visits
tirely possible.” The online magazine Salon quotes a former were too frequent and started counting them as her break
assistant who received a 6:30 a .m . phone call from Rudin time/lunchtime!” A former secretary at a large public utility
asking him to remind Rudin to send flowers to Anjelica Hus told me that she quit her job because her (female) boss
ton for her birthday. At 11:00 that same morning, Rudin wouldn’t stop touching her shoulders and her hair.
Take this excerpt from Brutal Bosses and Their Prey of an in lower-status person is a good test of character isn’t just my
terview that Harvey Hornstein did with one victim of multi idea. A test reflecting the same spirit was used by Sir Richard
ple humiliations: Branson, founder of the Virgin empire, to screen candidates
for a reality television series where he selected “billionaires
“Billy,” he said, standing in the dooiway so that in the rough.” The Rebel Billionaire was meant to compete
everyone in the central area could see and hear us with Donald Trump’s wildly successful show The Apprentice.
clearly. “Billy, this is not adequate, really not at all.” . . . During the first episode, Branson picked up contestants at
As he spoke, he crumpled the papers that he held. My the airport while he was disguised as an arthritic old
work. One by one he cmmpled the papers, holding driver—then he kicked two of them off the show for treat
them out as if they were something dirty and dropping ing him so badly when they believed he was an “irrelevant”
them inside my office as everyone watched. Then he human being.
said loudly, “Garbage in, garbage out.” I started to speak, Again, there is a difference between isolated incidents
but he cut me off. “You give me the garbage; now you where people act like assholes versus people who are cer
clean it up.” I did. Through the doorway I could see peo tified assholes—who consistently aim their venom at less
ple looking away because they were embarrassed for powerful people and rarely, if ever, at more powerful peo
me. They didn’t want to see what was in front of them: ple. John R. Bolton, the controversial U.S. ambassador to the
a thirty-six-year-old man in a three-piece suit stooping United Nations, meets the test if the testimony to the U.S.
before his boss to pick up cmmpled pieces of paper. Congress is correct. President George W. Bush made the
controversial decision to appoint Bolton when he was on
If these stories are accurate, all these bosses deserved to the verge of failing to be confirmed by Congress. Bolton’s
be certified as assholes because they were consistently nasty reputation for dishing out psychological abuse to colleagues
to the people they worked with, especially their underlings. fueled the media frenzy surrounding his appointment.
This brings us to test two: Does the alleged asshole aim his Melody Townsel, for example, testified that she experienced
or her venom at people who are less p ow erfu l rather than at Bolton’s nastiness when she worked as a contractor for the
those people who are more powerful? My colleague’s be U.S. Agency for International Development in Moscow in
havior at the Stanford graduation ceremony qualifies be 1994. Townsel repoited that Bolton turned mean after she
cause, when the episode occurred, this person was more complained about the incompetence of a client that Bolton
senior and more powerful than I was. (a lawyer) represented.
This notion that the way a higher-status person treats a In Townsel’s 2005 letter to the Senate Foreign Relations
Committee, she claimed that “Mr. Bolton proceeded to chase and getting rid of people who demean and damage others,
me through the halls of a Russian hotel— throwing things at especially others with relatively little power. If you want to
me, shoving threatening letters under my door, and gener learn about the virtues of speaking quietly and the nuances
ally, behaving like a madman” and that “for nearly two of workplace etiquette, then read something by Miss Man
weeks, while I awaited fresh direction. . . John Bolton ners. I am a firm believer in the virtues of conflict, even
hounded me in such an appalling way that I eventually re noisy arguments. Research on everything from student
treated to my hotel room and stayed there. Mr. Bolton, of groups to top management teams reveals that constructive
course, then routinely visited me there to pound on the door arguments over ideas— but not nasty personal arguments—
and shout threats.” Townsel added, “He made uncon drives greater performance, especially when teams do non
scionable comments about my weight, my wardrobe, and routine work. And, as I show in my book Weird Ideas That
with a couple of team leaders, my sexuality.” Work, organizations that are too narrow and rigid about
In other testimony to the committee, former Bolton sub whom they let in the door stifle creativity and become
ordinate Carl Ford Jr. (a fellow Republican) described him dreary places populated by dull clones.
as a “kiss-up, kick-down sort of guy.” In my opinion, if these
reports are true, they indicate that Bolton qualifies as a cer The right kind of friction can help any organization. To
tified asshole because his abuse is part of a persistent pat take a famous example, Intel cofounder and retired CEO
tern, not just something out of character that happened once Andy Grove can be a strong-willed and argumentative per
or twice because he was having a bad day. son. But Grove is renowned for sticking to the facts and for
I am not alone in this view. The Village Voice published an inviting anyone— from brand-new Intel engineers to Stan
article titled “Wanted: Complete Asshole for U.N. Ambas ford students whom he teaches about business strategy to
sador,” which concluded that “John Bolton has left a trail of senior Intel executives— to challenge his ideas. For Grove,
alienated colleagues and ridiculed ideas.” the focus has always been on finding the taith, not on put
ting people down. Not only do I despise spineless and ob
Don’t Replace Assholes with Wimps and Polite sequious wimps, but there is good evidence that they
damage organizations. A series of controlled experiments
Clones
and field studies in organizations shows that when teams
It is also important to define the term asshole because this engage in conflict over ideas in an atmosphere of mutual re
book is not an argument for recruiting and breeding spine spect, they develop better ideas and perform better. That is
less wimps. My focus is squarely on screening, reforming, why Intel teaches employees how to fight, requiring all new
hires to take classes in “constructive confrontation.” These he looked for smooth-talking marketing people, when it
same studies show, however, that when team members en came to technical people, he just wanted to see their work
gage in personal conflict—when they fight out of spite and because “the best engineers sometimes come in bodies that
anger—-their creativity, performance, and job satisfaction can’t talk.” Later, I even learned that film students at places
plummet. In other words, when people act like a bunch of like the University of Southern California believe that
assholes, the whole group suffers. “talent”— especially script writers— who come off as a bit
I also want to put in a good word for socially awkward strange are seen as more creative, so they consciously de
people, some of whom— through no fault of their own—are velop strange mannerisms and dress in odd ways, a process
so socially insensitive that they accidentally act like assholes they call “working on your quirk.”
at times. Certainly, people with high emotional intelligence
who are skilled at taking the perspectives of people they en
The Evidence Fits Your Experience: Workplaces
counter and at responding to their needs and feelings are
Have a Lot of Assholes
pleasant to be around and well suited for leadership posi
tions. Yet many extremely valuable employees— as a result of I don’t know of any scholarly studies with titles like “the
everything from being raised in dysfunctional families to hav prevalence of assholes in the modern organization” or “in
ing disabilities like Asperger’s syndrome, nonverbal learning terpersonal moves by assholes in the workplace: form and
disorders, and Tourette’s syndrome—act strangely, have poor frequency.” Most researchers are too dignified to use this
social skills, and inadvertently hurt other people’s feelings. dirty word in print. But I do know that each of my friends
A few years back, I wrote a book on building creative or and acquaintances reports working with at least one “ass
ganizations called Weird Ideas That Work. As I did the research, hole.” And when people hear that I am writing about the
I was struck by how many successful leaders of high-tech topic, I don’t have to ask for stories about these jerks—the
companies and creative organizations like advertising agen targets seek me out and tell me one asshole stoiy after an
cies, graphic design firms, and Hollywood production com other.
panies had learned to ignore job candidates’ quirks and This flood of anguished and amusing anecdotes may re
strange mannerisms, to downplay socially inappropriate flect my particular idiosyncrasies. I suspect that I am more
remarks, and instead, to focus on what the people could ac easily offended by personal slights than most people, espe
tually do. I first heard this argument from Nolan Bushnell— cially by people who are aide, nasty, or detached during
the founder of Atari, which was the first wildly successful service encounters. I am also married to a lawyer, an occu
computer gaming company. Bushnell told me that although pation that is rightly reputed to have more than its share
of overbearing assholes. And because I have had a long employees in the sample reported being bothered
standing interest in the topic, I look for information about “moderately” to “a great deal” by abusive and aggres
nasty people and remember it better than, say, about Good sive behaviors, including yelling, temper tantrums,
Samaritans, famous athletes, or unusually smart people. put-downs, glaring, exclusion, nasty gossip, and (on
There is also a big pile of scholarly research that reaches relatively rare occasions) “pushing, shoving, biting,
much the same conclusion without using the term “asshole.” kicking, and other sexual and nonsexual assaults.”
It is conducted under banners including bullying, interper • Studies of nurses suggest that they are demeaned at an
sonal aggression, emotional abuse, abusive supervision, especially high rate. A 1997 study of 130 U.S. nurses
petty tyranny, and incivility in the workplace. These studies published in the Journal o f Professional Nursing found that
show that many workplaces are plagued by “interpersonal 90% reported being victims of verbal abuse by physi
moves” that leave people feeling threatened and demeaned, cians during the past year; the average respondent re
which are often directed by more powerful people at less ported six to twelve incidents of abusive anger, being
powerful people. ignored, and being treated in a condescending fash
Consider some findings: ion. Similarly, a 2003 study of 461 nurses published in
Orthopaedic Nursing found that in the past month 91%
• A 2000 study by Loraleigh Keashly and Karen Jagatic had experienced verbal abuse— defined as mistreat
found that 27% of workers in a representative sample ment that left them feeling attacked, devalued, or hu
of seven hundred Michigan residents experienced miliated. Physicians were the most frequent source of
mistreatment by someone in the workplace, with such nastiness, but it also came from patients and their
approximately one out of six reporting persistent psy families, fellow nurses, and supervisors.
chological abuse.
• In a 2002 study of workplace aggression and bully When I was a graduate student at the University of Michi
ing in the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, gan, Daniel Denison and I spent a week interviewing and
Keashly and Joel Neuman surveyed nearly five thou observing a team of surgical nurses, and we were appalled
sand employees about exposure to sixty “negative by how openly rude and downright abusive the male doc
workplace behaviors”; 36% reported “persistent hos tors were to the (largely) female nurses. Take the surgeon
tility” from coworkers and supervisors, which meant that we dubbed “Dr. Gooser” after we saw him chasing a
“experiencing at least one aggressive behavior at female nurse down the hall while trying to pinch her behind.
least weekly for a period of a year.” Nearly 20% of The nurses we interviewed bitterly complained that it was
useless to report him to administrators because they would A host of other studies show that psychological abuse
be labeled as troublemakers and be told “he is just joking.” and bullying are common in other countries, including Aus
All they could do was avoid him as much as possible. tria, Australia, Canada, Germany, Finland, France, Ireland,
Christine Pearson and her colleagues have done exten and South Africa. A representative sample of Australian em
sive research on workplace incivility, a milder form of nas ployees, for example, found that 35% reported being ver
tiness than emotional abuse or bullying. Their survey of 800
bally abused by at least one coworker and 31% reported
employees found that 10% witnessed daily incivility on their
being verbally abused by at least one superior. A focused
jobs and 20% were direct targets of incivility at least once a
study of “nasty teasing” in a representative sample of nearly
week. Pearson and her colleagues did another study of
5,000 Danish employees found that more than 6% were con
workplace incivility among 126 Canadian white-collar work
sistently exposed to this specific brand of workplace bully
ers, which found that approximately 25% witnessed incivil
ing. In the Third European Survey on Working Conditions,
ity of some kind on the job every day and 50% reported
which was based on 21,500 face-to-face interviews with em
being direct targets of incivility at least once a week.
ployees from countries of the European Union, 9% reported
Researchers in Europe are partial to the term bullying
that they were exposed to persistent intimidation and bully
rather than psychological abuse. Charlotte Rayner and her col
ing.
leagues reviewed studies of bullying in British workplaces,
and estimated that 30% of British workers experience en Much of this nastiness is directed by superiors to their
counters with bullies on at least a weekly basis. A British subordinates (estimates run from 50% to 80%), with some
study of more than five thousand private- and public-sector what less between coworkers of roughly the same rank (es
employees found that about 10% had been bullied in the timates run from 20% to 50%), and “upward” nastiness—
prior six months, and that about 25% had been victims and where underlings take on their superiors— occurs in less
nearly 50% had witnessed bullying in the past five years. than 1% of cases. Findings about the proportion of men
Studies in the United Kingdom find that the highest rates of versus women involved in this nastiness are mixed, al
workplace bullying happen to workers in prisons, schools, though it is clear that men and women are victimized at
and the postal system but also reveal high rates in a sample roughly the same rate. And it is especially clear that the
of 594 “junior physicians” (similar to residents in the United lion’s share of bullying and psychological abuse is within
States): 37% reported being bullied in the prior year, and gender, with men more likely to bully men and women
84% indicated they had witnessed bullying that was aimed more likely to bully women. A Web-based suivey by the
at fellow junior physicians. Workplace Bullying & Trauma Institute, for example, found
What Assholes Do and Why You Know So Many 25
24 T he N o A sshole R ule
that 63% of women were victims of another woman, and This chapter proposes two steps for detecting assholes: first,
62% of men were victims of another man. identify people who persistently leave others feeling de
The question of whether bullying and abuse tend to be meaned and de-energized; second, look to see if their vic
done more often by men or women remains unclear, with tims usually have less power and social standing than their
tormentors.
some of the best U.S. studies (including Keashly and Ja-
gatic’s representative study of Michigan employees) show These tests imply an even more fundamental lesson that
ing no discernable differences between the sexes, while runs through this book: the difference between how a person treats
European studies suggest that abusers are more likely to be the powerless versus the powerful is as good a measure o f human char
men. European studies also show that it is common for a acter as I know. I described how Richard Branson devised
victim to be “mobbed” by multiple people, typically both such a test to help him decide which wannabe billionaires
men and women. In short, the stereotypical jerk might be a to fire and which to keep on his TV show. I’ve seen much
man, but there are also huge numbers of women in every the same thing on a smaller scale at Stanford, albeit acciden
country studied who demean, belittle, and de-energize their tally. Several years back, I encountered a perfect illustration
peers and underlings. of a senior faculty member who met this asshole test. Ap
The list of academic writings on bullying, psychological proached for help by a Stanford undergraduate, he at first
abuse, mobbing, tyrants, and incivility in the workplace brushed aside and refused to assist this student, who was
goes on and on—hundreds of articles and chapters have trapped in bureaucratic red tape. But once this uppity fac
been published. Estimates of who is doing what to whom ulty member learned that the student’s parents were power
depend on the population studied and how the particular ful executives and had donated generously to the university,
type of workplace abuse is defined and measured. But the he was instantly transformed into a helpful and charming
evidence is ironclad: there are a lot of assholes out there. human being.
To me, when a person is persistently warm and civilized
toward people who are of unknown or lower status, it
The Best Measure of Human Character
means that he or she is a decent human being— as they say
Diego Rodriguez works at IDEO, a small innovation com in Yiddish, a real “mensch,” the opposite of a certified ass
pany I’ve studied and worked with for more than a decade. hole. Small decencies not only make you feel better about
You will hear more about IDEO in this book because it is yourself, they can have other rewards as well. The sweet les
such a civilized place to work. Diego urges organizations to son learned by a former student of mine, Canadian Rhodes
develop “a shock-proof, bullet-resistant asshole detector.” Scholar Charles Galunic, is a case in point. Charlie is now a
26 T he No A sshole R ule
management professor at INSEAD business school in France

and is one of the most thoughtful people I’ve ever met.
Charlie told me a lovely story about something that hap
pened at a cold and crowded train station in Kingston, On
tario, when he was traveling to Toronto for his Rhodes C h apter 2
Scholarship interviews. He was sitting and waiting for the
train when he noticed an older couple who were standing
and waiting. Charlie being Charlie, he immediately offered
the two his seat, which they were happy to take. The next
The Damage Done: Why Every
day, Charlie met the couple at a reception in Toronto for the Workplace Needs the Rule
scholarship finalists, and it turned out that the husband was
a member of the selection committee. Charlie isn’t sure if
this small decency helped him win the prestigious scholar
ship— but I like to think that it did.
Every organization needs the no asshole rule because
I wrote this book to help people build organizations mean-spirited people do massive damage to victims, by
where mensches like Charlie are routinely hired and cele standers who suffer the ripple effects, organizational per
brated— and, to steal a phrase from Groucho Marx, create formance, and themselves. The harm that victims suffer is
workplaces where time wounds all heels— or at least re most conspicuous; it was certainly the main theme in the
forms or banishes these creeps. often harrowing stories that people told me in response to
my essays on the evils of assholes. Among the most trou
bling and articulate accounts was in an e-mail from a for
mer researcher at the United States Supreme Court:
I have been on the receiving end of an organiza

tion, the third branch of government, that permitted
the polar opposite of the no asshole rule to thrive. You
are correct [in that] there was no physical violence, no
injuries visible to the eye, unless one looks deeper
28 T he No A sshole R ule Why Every Workplace Needs the Rule 29
into the reasons for facial pallor, increased heart rate, behavior are confirmed by numerous studies in the United
the number of doctor visits, or OTC medicinal pur States, Europe (especially the United Kingdom), and, re
chases. However, long-term psychological scars at the cently, Australia and Asia.
personal and organizational level are most evident to Bennett Tepper’s research on abusive supervision, for
those who wish to inquire and listen. I experienced example, examined a representative of 712 employees in a
them firsthand. . . . I observed and experienced abuse midwestern city. He found that many of these employees
patterns at the highest levels of government. had bosses who used ridicule, put-downs, the silent treat
ment, and insults like “Tells me I’m incompetent” and “Tells
Listen to victims and bystanders like this researcher who me my thoughts or feelings are stupid.” These demeaning
bear the brunt of these creeps. Talk to managers, employ acts drove people out of organizations and sapped the ef
ment lawyers, consultants, and corporate coaches who fectiveness of those who remained. A six-month follow-up
struggle with “asshole management” problems. Read aca found that employees with abusive supervisors quit their
demic research under banners including bullying, emotional jobs at accelerated rates, and those still trapped in their jobs
abuse, petty tyranny, harassment, mobbing, interpersonal suffered from less work and life satisfaction, reduced com
aggression, and “bad behavior” at work. The bad news is mitment to employers, and heightened depression, anxiety,
relentless— it adds up to an unnerving trail of evidence and burnout. Similar findings are uncovered in dozens of
about the damage done by temporary and certified assholes. other studies, with victims reporting reduced job satisfac
Consider some of the worst of the human and organiza tion and productivity, trouble concentrating at work, and
tional wreckage. mental and physical health problems including difficulty
sleeping, anxiety, feelings of worthlessness, chronic fatigue,
Damage to Victim s irritability, anger, and depression.
The damage caused by demeaning and uninvited ad The effects of assholes are so devastating because they
vances from lecherous bosses, coworkers, and clients is sap people of their energy and esteem mostly through the
well documented. So is the harm inflicted on victims of accumulated effects of small, demeaning acts, not so
racial and religious discrimination, who are often ex much through one or two dramatic episodes. Consider
cluded, belittled, and treated as invisible. But there is also the office administrator who told me that his boss never
growing evidence that equal-opportunity assholes can in raises her voice, but he “dies a little” during every meet
flict great harm on their targets. The vile effects o f asshole ing in her office because he is treated “like hing.” He
Why Every Workplace Needs the Rule 31
described how she rarely looks him in the eye during it was positive or negative. Employees completed a
conversations; instead, she looks past him at herself in checklist about their current mood, whether they were
the mirror behind where he usually sits, admiring herself, “blue,” “contented,” “happy,” and so on. The employees
had more positive than negative interactions; for exam
sometimes primping and preening, other times seeming
to make small adjustments in her delivery and facial ex ple, about 30% of interactions with coworkers were pos
pressions to improve what she sees in the mirror. Stories itive and 10% were negative. But negative interactions had a
fivefold stronger effect on mood than positive interactions— so
of extreme public humiliation are more dramatic and eas
ier to remember, but such tiny indignities take their toll nasty people pack a lot more wallop than their more civ
ilized counterparts.
as we travel though our days. The brief nasty stares; the
teasing and jokes that are really camouflaged public These findings help explain why demeaning acts are so
shaming and insults; the people who treat us as invisible, devastating. It takes numerous encounters with positive
who exclude us from minor and major gatherings— all people to offset the energy and happiness sapped by a
single episode with one asshole.
those nasty little slices of organizational life— don’t just
hurt for a moment. They have cumulative effects on our
mental health and our commitment to our bosses, peers, Battered Bystanders
and organizations.
Assholes have devastating cumulative effects partly Assholes don’t just damage the immediate targets of their
because nasty interactions have a far bigger impact on abuse. Coworkers, family members, or friends who
our moods than positive interactions—five times the punch, watch— or just hear about— these ugly incidents suffer rip
according to recent research. Andrew Miner, Theresa ple effects. Tepper found that employees with abusive su
Glomb, and Charles Hulin did a clever study in which pervisors faced greater conflict between work and family,
each of forty-one employees carried palm-size comput agreeing with statements like “The demands of my work
ers. Each completed a brief survey via the device at four interfere with my home and family life.” The secondhand
random intervals throughout the workday, over a two- to suffering that underlies such dry survey responses is ex
three-week period. The device would alert the em posed in this e-mail that a distressed wife sent me:
ployee, a short survey would be presented on the
screen, and the employee would have twenty minutes to My husband is one of the senior people who re
report (among other things) if he or she had a recent in ports directly to such a CEO jerk. We moved from the
teraction with a supervisor or a coworker, and whether Midwest for this “opportunity.” It is so ’ l The senior
people just below him all huddle together in one study of more than five thousand employees found that
another’s offices trying to give one another support, while 25% had been victims of bullying in the past five
but they’re all very conscious of the fact that any one years, nearly 50% had witnessed bullying incidents. An
of them could decide to throw in the towel and then other British study of more than seven hundred public-
the stress would be redistributed on those who are sector employees found that 73% of the witnesses to
left. The verbal abuse my husband describes is unbe bullying incidents experienced increased stress and 44%
lievable, and I know he doesn’t tell me the worst of it. worried about becoming targets themselves. A Norwegian
study of more than two thousand employees from seven
The ripple effects on witnesses and bystanders, even different occupational sectors found that 27% of employ
those who are not direct witnesses to the asshole in ac ees claimed that bullying reduced their productivity, even
tion, were described by the former researcher at the though fewer than 10% reported being victims. The fear
United States Supreme Court quoted earlier: that bullies inject in the workplace appears to explain
much of this additional damage; research in the United
The impact was devastating on individuals, even Kingdom found that more than one-third o f witnesses
those who did not have contact with the abusers. wanted to intervene to help victims but were afraid to do
Truthful renditions of interactions created a mythical so. Bullies drive witnesses and bystanders out of their
but real monster (and later monsters) that everyone jobs, just as they do to “firsthand” victims. Research sum
feared. The impact on the organization and its capac marized by Charlotte Rayner in the United Kingdom sug
ity to respond to internal and external needs was gests that about 25% of bullied victims and about 20% of
equally damaging. Mistrust was palpable and rampant. witnesses quit their jobs. So assholes don’t just injure
Communication was reduced to CYA e-mail; long, de their immediate victims; their wicked ways can poison
tailed memos; and meetings with participant wit everyone in a workplace, including their own careers and
nesses. Creative avoidance prompted increased use of reputations.
after-hours voice mail, underground agreements among
those who did trust one another, and liberal use of
Assholes Suffer, Too
sick days.
Demeaning jerks are victims of their own actions. They
European researchers have assembled the best evi suffer career setbacks and, at times, humiliation. A hall
dence on ripple effects. As we saw in chapter 1, a British mark of assholes is that they sap the energy from ims
and bystanders. People who persistently leave others feel There can also be deep humiliation for assholes who
ing de-energized undermine their own performance by are “outed.” After Linda Wachner was fired as CEO of the
turning coworkers and bosses against them and stifling financially troubled Warnaco in 2001, I suspect that she
motivation throughout their social networks. was hurt and embarrassed by a long story in the New York
The University of Virginia’s Rob Cross and his col Times that listed one indignity after another that she al
leagues asked people in three different organizational legedly heaped upon people in her path. The Times re
“networks”— strategy consultants, engineers, and statisti ported that she routinely made ethnic and racial slurs.
cians— to rate each of their coworkers on the question Business partner Calvin Klein claimed, “She is abusive to
“When you typically interact with this person, how does it our people. Verbally, the language is disgusting.” Several
affect your energy level?” Cross and his colleagues found former underlings reported that one “common practice”
that being an energizer was one of the strongest drivers Wachner used was to make late-night phone calls to em
for positive performance evaluations. The strategy con ployees who had fallen out of favor and insist that they
sultants were especially prone to giving lower evaluations come to her office for a meeting early the next morning,
to the de-energizers in their ranks. The lesson is that if you and “then she would leave them sitting in a room for
sap the energy out of people, you may be sucking the life hours, sometimes the entire day, waiting for her.” Reading
out of your career, too. stories like these about yourself in one of the most widely
Assholes also suffer because even when they do their circulated newspapers in the world has to be painful, even
jobs well by other standards, they get fired. The high- if you are a certified asshole.
ranking government official who did so much damage to This stigma can tar ordinary people, not just the rich
the Supreme Court researcher and his colleagues was ul and famous. Consider a lawyer named Richard Phillips at
timately “retired” from her job. Despite his winning record Baker & McKenzie’s London office. He kept hounding a
and many fans, Indiana Hoosiers coach Bob Knight was secretary named Jenny Amner to cough up about &4
finally fired for losing his temper one time too many. Yes, (about $7) to pay for a ketchup stain on his trousers that
there are times when acting like an asshole has advan she had accidentally caused. In an e-mail exchange be
tages; I consider these upsides in chapter 6. Yet on the tween Phillips and Amner that spread on the Internet, she
whole, acting like an insensitive creep undermines rather explained, “I must apologise for not getting back to you
than boosts your performance as well as your reputation. straight away, but due to my mother’s sudden illness,
The best evidence is that jerks succeed despite rather than death, and funeral, I have had more pressing issues than
because of their nasty ways. your «£4. I apologise again for accidentally getting a few
36 T he N o A sshole R ule Why Every Workplace Needs the Rule 37
splashes of ketchup on your trousers. Obviously your the industry. Warnaco insiders told the New York Times,
financial need as a senior associate is greater than mine as “Her personal criticism of employees, among other things,
a mere secretary.” has led to excessive staff turnover and robbed the com
Baker & McKenzie acknowledged, “We confirm we are pany of talent it needed to maintain quality operations.”
aware of the incident and subsequent e-mail exchange. Under Wachner’s leadership, Warnaco had “employed
This is a private matter between two members of our staff three chief financial officers at the Authentic Fitness divi
that clearly got out of hand. We are investigating so as to sion in five years, five presidents of Calvin Klein Kids in
resolve it as amicably as we can.” Phillips resigned shortly three years, and three heads of Warnaco Intimate Apparel
after the incident. The Daily Telegraph reported that he was in four years.”
“devastated at his public humiliation,” although Baker & The question of whether it is against the law to be an
McKenzie’s spokesperson asserted that he had resigned equal-opportunity asshole, who belittles and demeans
well before the incident became public. others in the workplace independently of gender, race, or
religious beliefs, isn’t yet resolved in the United States
and other countries. But organizations that shelter ass
Im paired Organizational Performance
holes risk greater legal costs regardless of future court rul
The damage that assholes do to their organizations is seen ings— because claims made by victims of sexual
in the costs of increased turnover, absenteeism, decreased harassment and discrimination are easier to prove when
commitment to work, and the distraction and impaired in open hostility runs rampant. Attorney Paul Buchanan of
dividual performance documented in studies of psycho Stoel Rives LLP wrote an essay for the Washington State
logical abuse, bullying, and mobbing. The effects of Bar Association that asked, “Is it against the law to be a
assholes on turnover are obvious and well documented. I jerk?” He concluded that it probably isn’t, at least for now.
don’t feel sorry for him, but it must have cost Scott Rudin But Buchanan warned, “While the true equal-opportunity
a fortune— and a lot of time— to manage the entrances jerk usually is breaking no law, proving that the offend
and exits of the 119 assistants that worked for him be ing employee doled out abuse without discrimination
tween 2000 and 2005 (or 250 assistants, if you accept the may be a difficult and awkward task for an employer.
Wall Street Journals estimate rather than Rudin’s). And al Employers who fail to discipline aggressively and weed
though Warnaco’s general counsel described the turnover out (or at least train and reform) the boor, the bully, the
during Wachner’s reign as “tracking” industry patterns, ex power-monger, and even the person who simply lacks
ecutive recruiters reported that it was the highest rate in basic interpersonal skills may find themselves vulnerable
to expensive and difficult employment lawsuits as layed planes and other performance problems in the
disgruntled employees ascribe some unlawful motivation 1990s. American’s employees told Gittell that the fear of
to the abusive conduct.” then-CEO Robert Crandall drove people to point fingers
There are hints from outside the United States that at one another rather than to fix problems. Crandall jus
judges and juries are starting to crack down on equal- tified his approach by saying, “The last thing most of
opportunity assholes. Courts in the United Kingdom in them want is the spotlight on them. I just increased the
particular are beginning to punish companies that allow amount they have to do to keep the spotlight off them
bullying to persist, including a 2001 settlement against selves.” Although some insiders admired Crandall’s abil
Mercury Mobile Communications Services for £370,000 ity to uncover the “root cause” of delays, Gittell
(more than $600,000). Mercury allowed manager Simon concluded that his tough approach backfired because
Stone to conduct a “vendetta” of “open abuse and false ac many employees were so afraid of Crandall’s wrath that
cusations” against Jeffery Long, a procurement manager they devoted their energy to protecting themselves, not
who had reported Stone’s management failings to com to helping the company. One field manager told Gittell
pany directors. Long became physically ill, and his mar that when there was a delay, “Crandall wants to see the
riage dissolved as a result of the stress. Mercury ultimately corpse. . . . It is management by intimidation.” People fo
admitted liability in court in addition to paying Long this cused on protecting themselves from “recrimination”
large sum. rather than on “on-time performance, accurate baggage
There are other insidious, but more subtle, ways that handling, and customer satisfaction.”
these bullies and jerks undermine performance. A hall A similar theme emerges from research by Amy F
mark of teams and organizations that are led by assholes, mondson on nurses who have intimidating supervisors
or where swarms of assholes run rampant, is that they and unsupportive colleagues (or, as I would put it, people
are riddled with fear, loathing, and retaliation. In a fear- who are knee-deep in assholes). Edmondson did what she
based organization, employees constantly look over their thought was a straightforward study of how leadership
shoulders and constantly try to avoid the finger of blame and coworker relationships influenced drug-treatment er
and humiliation; even when they know how to help the rors in eight nursing units. She assumed that the better the
organization, they are often afraid to do it. Consider re leadership and coworker support, the fewer mistakes peo
search by Jody Hoffer Gittell on the airline industry pub ple would make.
lished in the California Management Review. I was struck by Yet Edmondson, along with the Harvard Medical
her description of how American Airlines handled de School physicians funding her research, v at first be
wildered when questionnaires showed that units with the effort.” But when they feel supported and satisfied, the
best leadership and coworker relationships reported the story is completely different.
most errors: units with the best leaders reported making as many as In the late 1970s, industrial psychologist Frank J. Smith
ten times more errors than the units with the worst leaders. After demonstrated the power of work attitudes on “discre
Edmondson pieced together all the evidence, she figured tionary effort” in a study of three thousand employees at
out that nurses in the best units reported far more errors Sears headquarters in Chicago. Smith found that employee
because they felt “psychologically safe” to admit their mis attitudes didn’t predict which employees were absent
takes. Nurses in the best units said that “mistakes were from work until the day a crippling snowstorm hit
natural and normal to document” and that “mistakes are Chicago. On that day, when employees had a good ex
serious because of the toxicity of the drugs, so you are cuse to stay home, employees who were more satisfied
never afraid to tell the nurse manager.” with their supervision and other parts of the job were far
The story was completely different in the units where more likely to make the tough commute into work than
nurses rarely reported errors. Fear ran rampant. Nurses those who were dissatisfied. Attendance in the twenty-
said things like “The environment is unforgiving; heads seven employee groups that Smith studied averaged 70%
will roll,” “you get put on trial,” and that the nurse man (96% was typical) and ranged from 37% to 97%. Whether
ager “treats you as guilty if you make a mistake” and or not employees in a group were satisfied with their su
“treats you like a two-year-old.” As the late corporate qual pervision was among the strongest predictors of atten
ity guru W. Edwards Deming concluded long ago, when dance that snowy day. It makes sense to me. When I am
fear rears its ugly head, people focus on protecting them stuck working for, or with, a bunch of assholes, I don’t
selves, not on helping their organizations improve. Ed out of my way to help. But when I admire my superiors
mondson’s research shows that this happens even when and colleagues, I’ll go to extreme lengths.
lives are at stake. There is even evidence that when people work for cold
The loathing and dissatisfaction that assholes provoke and mean-spirited jerks, employees steal from their com
also has costs in addition to increased turnover. Tepper’s panies to even the score. Jerald Greenberg studied three
research showed that abusive supervisors dampen com nearly identical manufacturing plants in the midwestern
mitment to the organization. Other researchers have United States; two of the three plants (which management
shown repeatedly that when people feel mistreated and chose at random) instituted a ten-week-long, 15% pay cut
dissatisfied with their jobs, they are unwilling to do extra after the firm temporarily lost a major contract. In one
work to help their organizations, to expend “discretionary plant where the cuts were impie ed, an executive
announced the cuts in a curt and impersonal manner and If word leaks out that your organization seems to be
warned employees, “I’ll answer one or two questions, but led by mean-spirited jerks, the damage to its reputation
then I have to catch a plane for another meeting.” In the can drive away potential employees and shake investor
second plant, the executive gave a detailed and compas confidence. Neal Patterson, CEO of the Cerner Corpora
sionate explanation, along with sincere apologies for the tion, learned this lesson in 2001 when he sent out a “bel
cut and multiple expressions of remorse. The executive ligerent” e-mail that was intended for just the top four
then spent a full hour answering questions. Greenberg hundred people in this health-care-software firm. Accord
found fascinating effects on employee theft rates. In the ing to the New York Times, Patterson complained that few
plant where no pay cuts were made, employee theft rates employees were working full forty-hour weeks, and “as
held steady at about 4% during the 10-week period. In the managers— you either do not know what your EMPLOY
plant where the pay cut was done but explained in a com EES are doing; or you do not CARE.” Patterson said that
passionate way, the theft rate rose to 6%. And in the plant he wanted to see the employee parking lot “substantially
were the cuts were explained in a curt manner, the theft full” between 7:30 a .m . and 6:30 p .m . on weekdays and
rate rose to nearly 10%. “half full on Saturdays,” and that if it didn’t happen, he
After the pay levels were restored in the two plants, the would take harsh measures, perhaps even layoffs and hir
theft rates returned to the same level (about 4%) as before ing freezes. Patterson warned, “You have two weeks.
the pay cuts were made. Greenberg believes that employ Tick, tock.”
ees stole more in both plants where cuts were made to Patterson’s e-mail was leaked onto the Internet, pro
“get even” with their employer, but that they stole far voking harsh criticism from management experts, includ
more to exact revenge from the leader who was cold- ing my Stanford colleague Jeffrey Pfeffer, who described it
hearted and “too busy” to provide an explanation. as “the corporate equivalent of whips and ropes and
We all know people shouldn’t steal, and we all know chains.” Jeff went a bit overboard for my tastes. But in
that many people do steal. Greenberg’s study, along with vestors weren’t pleased, either, as the value of the stock
numerous controlled experiments, suggests that when plummeted 22% in three days. Patterson handled the af
people believe that they work for insensitive jerks, they termath well. He sent an apology to his employees and
find ways to get back at them, and stealing is one of those admitted that he wished he had never sent the e-mail, and
ways. Revenge isn’t pretty, but it is a part of human na the share price did bounce back. Patterson learned the
ture that assholes bring out in their victims. hard way that when CEOs come across as bullies, they cun
scare their investors, not just their underlings.
attach the best cost estimate you can get to each one, and
T h e Upshot: W hat Is Your O rganization’s
add any factors I’ve left out (see pp. 49-51).
“Total C ost o f A ssholes”? This exercise can help you come to terms with the dam
A Harvard Business Review reader wrote me a lovely note age that both temporary and certified assholes do to your
organization, which is useful for convincing yourself and
suggesting that more companies would be convinced to
others to do something about this problem instead of toler
enforce the rule if they estimated the “total cost of ass
ating it or talking about— but not actually implementing—
holes,” or their “TCA.” As he put it, “The organizational
any solutions. It is also useful for convincing yourself to
impact, in terms of both retention and recruitment, lost
stop belittling others and for getting some help if you can’t
clients, [and] excess organizational calories being ex
stop yourself, as it can ruin not only others’ lives, but also
pended on the wrong things could provide some very in
your own. Another reason for trying to attach dollar fig
teresting insights.”
ures to these costs is that in the seemingly rational and
Calculating the exact TCA for any organization is an
numbers-driven business world, no matter how com
unrealistic goal; there are just too many different factors
pelling your stories and lists of drawbacks might be, peo
and too much uncertainty. It is impossible, for example, ple from accounting, finance, and other quantitative
to estimate exactly how many hours that managers devote backgrounds often rule the roost, and they seem to prefer
to “asshole management” or to predicting future legal to make decisions on the basis of bad (even useless) fi
costs incurred by assholes in any organization. Yet going nancial estimates rather than no estimates at all. So it
through the exercise of calculating your organization’s might be wise to use the language they want to hear, no
TCA is still an instructive way to think about the costs of matter how rough the estimates.
putting up with these bullies and bastards. As I scoured Researchers Charlotte Rayner and Loraleigh Keashly
through pertinent research and talked to experienced demonstrate how to produce estimates of such costs.
managers and attorneys, I was stunned by the breadth and They start by estimating (based on past studies in the
amount of these costs. In the list “What’s Your TCA?” I United Kingdom) that 25% of bullying “targets” and 20%
present a series of factors, which includes those touched of “witnesses” leave their jobs, and that the “average” bul
on in this chapter along with numerous others that I’ve lying rate in the U.K. is 15%. Rayner and Keashly calcu
encountered but haven’t discussed. If you want to de late that in an organization of one thousand people, if
velop a rough estimate of your company’s TCA, take a 25% of the bullied leave, and the replacement cost is
look at my long (but still incomplete) list of possible costs, $20,000, then the annual cost is $750,000. They add that
if there is an average of two witnesses for each victim, stantial amount of money on Ethan’s anger management
and 20% leave, that adds $1.2 million, for a total replace classes and counseling.
ment cost just shy of $2 million per year. The company decided that in addition to warnings and
Rayner and Keashly use assumptions that will vary training, it was time to quantify the incremental costs of
wildly from place to place, so it is instructive to look at Ethan’s bad behavior and deduct it from his bonus. They
the costs that one company estimated were inflicted by did a week-by-week calculation of the extra costs of
one asshole in one year. When I told a senior executive Ethan’s nasty and inconsiderate actions compared to other,
from a Silicon Valley company about the “total cost of more civilized salespeople. HR managers estimated that
assholes” concept, he said, “It is more than a concept; costs for the prior year— time and dollars spent related to
we just calculated it for one of our people.” He told me Ethan’s treatment of people— totaled about $160,000. I find
that one of their most highly compensated salespeople— these costs disturbing, as they reflect so much suffering
let’s call him Ethan— was consistently ranked in their top and heartache, so much time wasted by talented people.
5% of producers. Ethan qualifies as a certified asshole: The figure also almost certainly understates full financial
his temper is legendary; he treats his coworkers as rivals, damage, as it omits physical and mental health effects on
routinely insulting and belittling them; his nasty late- victims, time lost by and the emotional and physical toll on
night e-mail rants are infamous; and, not surprisingly, witnesses and bystanders, and the negative effects of the
many insiders refuse to work with him. His last assistant fear, loathing, and dysfunctional competition he provoked.
lasted less than a year. No other assistant in the company The estimated costs were:
was willing to work for Ethan, so they were forced to

• Time spent by Ethan’s direct manager:
start a long and expensive search for a replacement.
250 hours valued at $25,000
After all, finding someone who had even a slim chance
• Time spent by HR professionals:
of working successfully with Ethan was a tall order.
Meanwhile, HR managers and, at times, senior execu
• Time spent by senior executives:
tives were spending huge chunks of time running inter
ference between Ethan and the company’s support
• Time spent by the company’s outside
network. In the prior five years, several colleagues and
employment counsel: 10 hours valued at $5,000
administrative assistants had lodged “hostile workplace”
• Cost of recruiting and training a new
complaints against Ethan. The company also spent a sub
secretary to support Ethan $85,000
• Overtime costs associated with Ethan’s WHAT'S YOUR TCA?

last-minute demands $25,000
Factors to Consider When Calculating
• Anger management training and
the Total Cost of Assholes to Your Organization
counseling $5,000
Damage to Victims and Witnesses

Estimated total cost of asshole for one year $ 1 6 0,000
• Distraction from tasks—more effort devoted to avoid
An executive and an HR manager met with Ethan and ing nasty encounters, coping with them, and avoiding
blame; less devoted to the task itself
reviewed these costs. They told him that the company
• Reduced “psychological safety” and associated cli
would deduct 60% of the cost from what he otherwise
mate of fear undermines employee suggestions, risk
would have earned as his year-end bonus. The reaction
taking, learning from own failures, learning from others'
was predictable— Ethan flew into a rage and blamed the failures, and forthright discussion—honesty may not
idiots he worked with for being unable to keep up with be the best policy
his expectations and requirements. He threatened to quit • Loss of motivation and energy at work
(but didn’t). I applaud this company for calculating these • Stress-induced psychological and physical illness
costs, confronting Ethan with them, and insisting that he • Possible impaired mental ability
pay the price. If the executives were serious about enforc • Prolonged bullying turns victims into assholes
ing a no asshole rule, however, they would have shown • Absenteeism
Ethan the door years ago— which is why I next turn to • Turnover in response to abusive supervision and
peers—plus more time spent while at work looking for
how to implement, enforce, and sustain a no asshole rule.
new work
The bad news is that these oppressors cost organizations
far more than their leaders and investors usually realize.
Woes of Certified Assholes
The good news is that if you devote yourself and your or
• Victims and witnesses hesitate to help, cooperate with
ganization to establishing and enforcing the no asshole
them, or give them bad news
rule, you can save a lot of money and save your people,
• Retaliation from victims and witnesses
their friends and families, and yourself a lot of heartache.
• Failure to reach potential in the organization
• Humiliation when “outed”
• Job loss
• Long-term career damage
50 T he N o A sshole R ule Why Eveiy Workplace Needs the Rule 51
Wicked Consequences for Management • Costs of victims’ retribution toward the organization
• Impaired cooperation from outside organizations and
• Time spent appeasing, calming, counseling, or disci
people
plining assholes
• Higher rates charged by outsiders—“combat pay” for
• Time spent “cooling out” employees who are victim
working with assholes
ized • Impaired ability to attract the best and brightest
• Time spent “cooling out” victimized customers, con
tract employees, suppliers, and other key outsiders
• Time spent reorganizing departments and teams so
that assholes do less damage
• Time spent interviewing, recruiting, and training re
placements for departed assholes and their victims
• Management burnout, leading to decreased commit
ment and increased distress
Legal and HR Management Costs
• Anger management and other training to reform ass

holes
• Legal costs for inside and outside counsel
• Settlement fees and successful litigation by victims
• Settlement fees and successful litigation by alleged
assholes (especially wrongful-termination claims)
• Compensation for internal and external consultants,
executive coaches, and therapists
• Health-insurance costs
When Assholes Reign: Negative Effects on Organizations
• Impaired improvement in established systems

• Reduced innovation and creativity
• Reduced cooperation and cohesion
• Reduced “discretionary” effort
• Dysfunctional internal cooperation
C h apter 3
How to Implement the Rule, Enforce It,

and Keep It Alive
M an y organizations enforce the no asshole rule, but some

do it with a lot more zeal than others. In most places, cer
tified assholes are tolerated, but only up to a point. People can
get away with being run-of-the-mill jerks and might even
score kudos and cash as a result. The rule is applied, but
only to flaming assholes, who are punished, “reeducated,”
and then expelled if less drastic measures fail. The imagi
nary line between an ordinary and a flaming asshole de
pends on local quirks and customs. An “iiber-jerk” might
be crowned after costing the organization a fortune, driv
ing coworkers to the edge of madness, creating horrific PR
problems, or exposing the organization to massive legal
risk— even though hordes of ordinary jerks continue to
get off scot-free.
This low standard was apparently applied to Ethan, the
54 T he N o A sshole R ule Implement the Rule, Enforce It, and Keep It Alive 55
abusive salesman whom I talked about in chapter 2. Man More recently, in 2005, Philadelphia Eagle Terrell Owens
agement wasn’t planning to fire this demeaning star, but paid the price for his relentless arrogance, bad-mouthing
they finally got fed up with his shenanigans and decided teammates (e.g., publicly blaming “tired” quarterback Don
to document the costs and deduct them from his pay. But ovan McNabb for Philadelphia’s 2005 Super Bowl loss),
executives continued to take no action against a host of and his apparent inability to control his rage (e.g., reports
ordinary assholes at the company. Even organizations that of a fight with team official Hugh Douglas). In late 2005,
seem to glorify arrogant jerks, like sports teams, can reach Eagles management finally suspended him for “conduct
a breaking point where superstar coaches or players are detrimental to the team” and made it clear that they didn’t
so destructive that they are punished and kicked out. want him back. Owens defended himself by arguing that
Take what happened to legendary basketball coach he was frustrated because he felt “disrespected” by his
Bob Knight at the University of Indiana. University presi teammates.
dent Myles Brand finally fired Knight in September 2000 People like Knight and Owens got away with so much
after an incident with a student named Kent Harvey, who for so long because, at least in the United States, we em
reportedly called out, “Hey, Knight, what’s up?” as they brace clichés like “Winning isn’t everything; it’s the only
walked past each other on campus. The student claimed thing” and “Second place means being the first loser.” In
that Knight roughly grabbed him by the arm and berated fact, Knight was soon hired to coach the basketball team
him for his poor manners. Knight argued that the student at Texas Tech University, and Owens was signed by the
was exaggerating, but Brand announced that Knight was Dallas Cowboys for a reported $25 million contract, which
fired for a “pattern of unacceptable behavior,” called included a $5 million signing bonus. As one executive and
Knight “defiant and hostile,” and charged that the coach venture capitalist told me, the unspoken standard in
had demonstrated a “continued unwillingness” to work American sports, business, medicine, and academia is:
within the school’s guidelines. Indiana administrators had “The more often you are right and the more often you
tolerated Knight’s antics for decades. He wasn’t fired even win, the bigger jerk you can be.” He argued that in most
after being accused of choking one of his players during places being an asshole is a disadvantage, that nastiness
a 1997 practice (a misdeed caught on a grainy videotape and outbursts are seen as character flaws— but are toler
and shown by CNN/Sports Illustrated in March 2000). But ated when people are more talented, smarter, more diffi
university administrators finally got fed up with the dam cult to replace, and endowed with a higher natural
age that Knight was causing to Indiana’s reputation with success rate than ordinary mortals. “Extraordinary talent”
his outbursts, and they sent him packing. is an all-purpose justification for tolerating, pampering, and
Implement the Rule, Enforce It, and Keep It Alive 57
kissing up to these destructive jerks. Our societal standard Herb Kelleher, Southwest cofounder and former CEO, de
appears to be: I f you are a really big winner, you can get away with scribed how this works: “One of our pilot applicants was
being a really big asshole. very nasty to one of our receptionists, and we immediately
Yet it doesn’t need to be that way. Some of the most rejected him. You can’t treat people that way and be the
effective and civilized organizations that I know disdain, kind of leader we want.” As Ann put it, “We don’t do it to
punish, and drive out ordinary jerks and have no patience our people; they don’t deserve it. People who work for us
for them. As Shona Brown, Google’s senior vice president don’t have to take the abuse.”
for business operations, put it, the company acts on its At places that are most vehement and effective at en
“Don’t be evil” motto by making Google a place where it forcing the no asshole rule, “employee performance” and
simply isn’t efficient to act like an asshole. “treatment of others” aren’t separate things. Phrases like
As Shona told me, yes, there are people at Google who “talented jerk,” “brilliant bastard,” or “an asshole and a su
might fit my definition of an asshole, but the company perstar” are seen as oxymorons. Temporary assholes are
works to screen them out in hiring, and nasty people suf dealt with immediately: they quickly realize (or are told)
fer during performance evaluations and aren’t promoted that they have blown it, apologize, reflect on their nasti
to management positions. And Google has zero tolerance ness, ask for forgiveness, and work to change— rather
for what I call flaming assholes (Shona put it more po than justify or glorify— their actions. Certified assholes
aren’t ignored or forgiven again and again; they change or
litely, but that is what she meant).
Some companies take the rule even further. Ann are sent packing. At the places where I want to work,
even if people do other things well (even extraordinary
Rhoades headed the “people department” at Southwest
well) but routinely demean others, they are seen as in
Airlines for years and was the founding head of human re
competent.
sources at JetBlue Airlines. Ann told me that at both com
panies, it wasn’t just inefficient to be a certified asshole;
she said that employees couldn’t get away with it, that Make It Pu blic—by W hat You Say and
“there is no place for them to hide.” During the first year Especially W hat You Do
that JetBlue flew, Ann told me that “lack of cultural fit,”
especially having a bad attitude toward colleagues, cus Most organizations, especially big ones, have written poli
tomers, and the company, was the main “performance” cies that sound like censored versions of the no asshole
reason that employees were fired. Southwest has always rule. Many reinforce the message by posting it widely
emphasized that people are “hired and fired for attitude.” (usually with a list o f other “core values”) and teach it
dining e m p l o y e e orientation sessions. Senior managers me that a core company value is “respect for the individ
ro u tin e ly talk about the virtues of mutual respect or words ual, no assholes— it’s okay to have one, just don’t be one.”
to that effect. Some leaders and organizations even use Dalgaard added that the rule was an “unequivoal message
the uncensored version of the rule. and all employees sign a contract committing to not being
As 1 mentioned in the opening pages, my colleagues one,” because “assholes stifle performance.”
and I talked openly about the rule in my academic de Similarly, the Canadian production company Apple
partment at Stanford. And several readers of my Harvard Box Productions has since dissolved, but during the
Business Review essay wrote to tell me that the rule was a twelve years in which it cranked out one successful tele
centerpiece of their leadership style. My favorite was vision commercial after another, the rule was a primary
from Roderick C. Hare, CEO of Mission Ridge Capital: operating principle. Apple Box executive producer J.J.
“For most of my professional career, I have been telling Lyons told trade magazines, “Internally and externally, we
anyone who would listen that I can work with just about like to surround ourselves with nice people.” He went on
every type of person, with one glaring exception— ass to say, “We have an internal rule here, sort of a motto; it’s
holes. In fact, I have always used that very word. As a thing called ‘the no asshole rule.’ If you’re an asshole di
much as I believe in tolerance and fairness, I have never rector or producer, we don’t want to work with you.” His
lost a wink of sleep about being unapologetically intol reason? “Life is too short.” I say amen to that.
erant of anyone who refuses to show respect for those Most organizations express the rule in more polite lan
around them.” guage. At Plante & Moran, which was ranked twelfth on
A few organizations talk about the rule as a centerpiece Fortune magazine’s “100 Best Companies to Work For” list
of their culture. A survey on Emplawyernet.com reported in 2006, “The goal is a ‘jerk-free’ workforce at this ac
that McDermott Will & Emery, an international law firm counting firm” and “the staff is encouraged to live by the
with headquarters in Chicago, had a time-honored no ass Golden Rule.” In BusinessWeek Barclays Capital chief oper
hole rule, which holds that “you’re not allowed to yell at ating officer Rich Ricci said that, especially in selecting
your secretary or yell at each other.” McDermott’s PR peo senior executives, “we have a no jerk rule around here.”
ple emphasized to me that this is an informal rather than BusinessWeek explained what this means: “Hotshots who
official policy, but they acknowledge that the firm’s alienate colleagues are told to change or leave.” And at
partners have talked about it for years. Or consider Success- Xilinx, a semiconductor firm, “employees should respect
Factors, a talent management software firm with head and support each other even if they don’t like each other.”
quarters in San Mateo, California. CEO Lars Dalgaard told Or take the Men’s Wearhouse, the most successful
seller of men’s suits in the United States, which has the The case revealed that the company consistently
most impressive and detailed philosophy I’ve ever seen. treated young employees called “analysts” with disrespect
Consider a few of the company’s values: “Everyone de and mistrust, which did long-term damage to the firm. An
serves to be treated fairly. If leaders are the problem, we alysts at the firm were top undergraduates from the best
ask those being served by leaders to let them know or go universities who were hired to work for the firm for a few
up the chain of command— without the threat of retalia years before returning to school to earn their MBA de
tion.” “Store appearance and product knowledge are cer grees. Because of the abuse, mistrust, and dull work that
tainly important, but customer comfort and satisfaction analysts were forced to endure, the firm had a dreadful
during the shopping experience hinge on something else: record of recruiting them to come back to the firm after
our store team must feel emotionally energized and au they had finished their MBAs, even though senior leaders
thentic in building service relationships with our cus sought a high “rate of return.” Worse yet, former analysts
tomers.” And most pertinent to the no asshole rule: “We told their fellow MBA students about their bad experi
respond immediately if any individual degrades another, ences, making the firm’s recruiting efforts more difficult
regardless of position. In so doing, we demonstrate that and costly. The students who wrote this case study con
we value all people.” cluded, “Words seem to have replaced action.”
As admirable as these sentiments are, posting them on Writing, displaying, and repeating words about treat
a wall or Web site or talking about them are— alone— use ing people with respect, but allowing or encouraging the
less acts. And if these values are routinely violated and no opposite behavior, is worse than useless. In addition to
steps are taken to enforce them, these hollow words are the well-documented damage inflicted when bullies run
worse than useless. Jeff Pfeffer and I learned this lesson amok, an organization and its leaders are seen as hyp
about hollow talk when writing The Knowing-Doing Gap, a ocrites, which fuels cynicism and scorn. Consider the se
book about why leaders and companies sometimes say ries of reports in the St. Petersburg Times in 2005 about
smart things yet fail to do them and how to overcome this Holland & Knight, a firm with about 1,300 lawyers that
widespread malady. We call this impediment to action had once bragged to the media about its “no jerk rule.”
“the smart talk trap.” To illustrate, a group of our students The stories reported an internal uproar after managing
did a case study of a prominent securities firm, which had partner Howell W. Melton Jr. rejected an internal com
three values that top management talked about constantly mittee’s recommendation that partner Douglas A. Wright
and were displayed everywhere: respect for the individ (from the Tampa office) be given a tough punishment for
ual, teamwork, and integrity. violating the firm’s sexual harassment policy. Melton
that it “recklessly and unfairly impugns the reputation of

gave Wright a reprimand instead. A few months later,
one of the firm’s finest partners.” Wright also said in a
Melton promoted Wright to the third highest position in
press interview, “I unequivocally deny that I’ve engaged
the firm.
in sexual harassment with any person here.” Wright also
This promotion happened even though, according to
asserted that he asked both men and women to feel his
the Times, the firm had “made it a priority to weed out self
“pipes,” that “I treat them all the sam e.” Nonetheless,
ish, arrogant, and disrespectful attorneys,” to enforce what
Wright resigned from his management position after the
they called a “no jerk rule.” And it happened even though
negative stories appeared in the St. P etersburg Times, al
nine female attorneys in the Tampa office accused Wright
though he remained a partner in the firm. Regardless of
of sexual harassment and the Daily Business Review reported
exactly what happened inside Holland & Knight, public
that “Wright received a private reprimand last summer, in
statements that the firm would weed out disrespectful at
cluding orders to stop asking women in the office to feel
torneys backfired from a PR standpoint and outraged at
his ‘pipes,’ or biceps. He also was told to stop comment
least some partners when the “no jerk rule” was seen as
ing on their clothes and sex lives and to forgo any retali
hollow rhetoric.
ation against the women who’d complained.”
In contrast, Southwest Airlines has gained both positive
According to the Times, after managing partner Melton
press and employee loyalty by demonstrating persistent
promoted Wright to a leadership role, a leaked seven-page
intolerance for abusive people and even for people who
internal e-mail written by Chicago partner Charles D.
are too cold and gruff to fit with the culture. Southwest
Knight complained that Holland & Knight had “failed to
tries to screen out people who are cold and unfriendly to
weed out all of the jerks” and lamented, “Regrettably, it
fellow employees and to passengers rather than just
appears that some of them succeeded to the highest lev
openly hostile. Ann Rhodes told me about a manager
els of the firm’s management.” Of course, since we
whom Southwest hired who wasn’t downright nasty, but
weren’t inside this firm and have only press reports, it is
was cold and impatient with people. He confided to Ann,
wise to take these “facts” with a grain of salt. This leak
“I don’t know if I can stand working here. I just want to
does not, however, appear to be an isolated incident, as
work with these people; I don’t want them as friends.” Al
another Holland & Knight partner, Mark Stang, wrote an
though Ann worked hard to recruit him because of his
open letter to the Times in which he apologized to the
skills, she realized he didn’t fit at Southwest, so she sug
“brave women of our firm’s Tampa office” and expressed
gested that he might be happier elsewhere— and he left
“disgust” with their treatment.
for a job at another airline a few months later.
Holland & Knight initially attacked the leak, saying
Weave the Rule into Hiring and sure to do good work and do it fast. Not that there’s
Firing Policies anything wrong with a résumé delivered over the
transom, but real references are golden!
The lesson from Southwest and JetBlue Airlines is that the
2. We try to select for professional competence before
no asshole rule needs to be woven into hiring and firing people walk in the door so that the interviewing
policies. Seattle law firm Perkins Coie, for example, es process can focus more on a person’s human qual
pouses and acts on a “no jerks allowed” rule, which helped ities (or lack thereof).
earn them a spot on Fortunés “100 Best Companies to Work 3. Once in the door, you’ll probably speak to a good
For” list in 2006 for the fourth year in a row. Consider how number of people— more than would seem “rea
the company applies the rule during job interviews.
sonable” by most corporate standards. You eat with
Perkins Coie partners Bob Giles and Mike Reynvaan were
them. You walk around our offices. You talk. You
once tempted to hire a rainmaker from another firm but
answer questions. You ask questions. You partici
realized that doing so would violate the rule. As they put pate in design exercises. It’s all about creating a
it, “We looked at each other and said, W hat a jerk.’ Only mutual feeling of “fit.”
we didn’t use that word.” Reynvaan confirmed that the
4. Every candidate is interviewed by people who will
word they actually used was asshole, as is usually the case.
be above, below, and alongside them, status-wise.
IDEO, one of the most successful innovation firms in
And people from unrelated professional disciplines
the world, also aggressively screens out demeaning and participate. That way, if you do get hired, you feel
arrogant people. Many candidates are given job offers
that the entire company wants you, not just one
only after working as interns— people who have demon
specific high-status manager— who, by the way,
strated under real working conditions that they aren’t ass
might or might not be a total asshole. This method
holes. And when candidates haven’t worked with IDEO also keeps assholes in a hiring position from repli
before, people in the company take the time to filter out cating. Assholes tend to stick together, and once
assholes. Insider Diego Rodriguez explains: stuck are not easily separated.
1. We really value references from people we trust. Diego’s last point is crucial. Research on job interviews
We also encourage staff to teach university classes
and hiring decisions shows that a recruiter tends to hire
and to learn how job candidates perform in the candidates who look and act like his or her favorite per
classroom— especially in teams that are under pres son on the planet— him or herself. Harvard Business School
66 T he N o A sshole R ule implement the Rule, Enforce It, and Keep It Alive 67
professor Rosabeth Moss Kanter calls this “homosocial re pany’s more successful salespeople (in terms of dollars in
production,” which means that the hiring process (unwit total sales) was eventually fired when, after numerous
tingly) causes most organizations to “bring in the clones.” conversations with him and warnings from management,
The implication is that assholes will breed like rabbits. Managers he still refused to define his own performance partly by
will reproduce themselves in the hiring process, and soon, the performance of his peers and his store. As Je ff Pfeffer
as Diego says, your organization will have groups domi and I learned when writing The Knowing-Doing Gap, this
nated by assholes— which then start battling other groups salesperson “stole” customers from fellow salespeople,
or, worse yet, gain power and spread their poison every bad-mouthed the firm culture, and was openly opposed to
where. IDEO battles this tendency by having hiring deci the idea of helping fellow employees with “their” cus
sions made by a broader group, which works because tomers. The decision to remove this employee proved that
they have a minuscule percentage of assholes. Men’s Wearhouse took seriously its values about how peo
For most companies, it is hard enough to resist the ple ought to treat one another. It also turned out that fir
temptations to hire bullies who seem like they will gener ing this selfish and difficult “superstar” had financial
ate big bucks. It is even more difficult for managers to benefits, as the total sales volume in the store increased
bring themselves to expel destructive jerks who are al nearly 30% after he left. No single salesperson sold as
ready raking in piles of cash. The Men’s Wearhouse much as the departed “star,” but the store as a whole did
demonstrates how to back up talk with tangible action. better. Apparently, dysfunctional competition and the un
CEO George Zimmer and other executives do more than pleasant customer experiences generated by this jerk
talk about the importance of treating fellow employees brought out the worst in everyone else.
with mutual respect, creating a team-selling environ I’ve also uncovered cases where, as part of overhaul
ment, pleasing every customer, and contributing to the ing a broken culture, senior management has purged the
overall success of the store. Men’s Wearhouse goes b e organization of these creeps. A senior executive at a For
yond posting on their Web site statements such as, “Out tune 500 company told me how, in the early 1990s, a new
standing individual performers rely on teammates to CEO came to his company and promptly launched a cam
support them in serving the customer. That’s why we paign to banish twenty-five or so nasty executives. This
look at team chemistry when we make hiring, transfer, CEO was determined to get rid of these “known assholes”
and promotion decisions.” because they created a “culture of fear” that made the
Consider one example of how George Zimmer demon company a place that “was no fun to work at and was un
strated that this wasn’t just lip service. One of the corn- friendly to customers.” The senior executive told me, “It
<)H I'm Ni i A sm ii >i i Ri ii i; Implement the Rule, Enforce It, and Keep It Alive 69
w,m like he made up 'asshole wanted posters’ and put the Ann added an interesting twist: the person who takes the
pleutres of these twenty-five guys on them.” And “al jerk’s old position is in an enviable position, because “if
though lie wanted to line them up and fire them all at you are nice at all,” people will just be so happy to see you
once," the CHO used the performance evaluation system instead of that old wicked tyrant!
to methodically weed out the people on “the hit list” over
a two-year stretch. This purge was a cornerstone of a cul Apply the Rule to Customers and Clients
tural change that “breathed humanity into the business,
for both employees and customers,” and helped them Organizations that are serious about enforcing the no ass
break “a lot of other bad habits too, like being afraid to hole rule apply it to customers, clients, students, anc
experiment with new ideas.” And although I can’t reveal everyone else encountered on the job, not just to employ
the name of this company, I can tell you that during the ees. They apply the rule to everyone because their people
past decade, it has gone from the middle of the pack to don’t deserve the abuse, customers (or taxpayers) aren’t
one of the best performers in its industry. paying good money to endure or witness demeaning
Whether it is just one person or part of a purge, after an jerks, and if persistent nastiness from any group is left
incorrigible bully has finally left the building for good, the unchecked, it creates a culture of contempt that infects
relief is palpable. When I asked Ann Rhoades about her everyone it touches. The late Jo e Gold, the founder of
experience with “easing out” these creeps, she emphasized Gold’s Gym, which now has more than 550 locations in
that in every place she had worked— including airlines, 43 countries, applied a variation of this rule to customers.
banks, and hotels— a series of predictable events followed. He didn’t mince words: “To keep it simple, you run your
For starters, although these decisions are nearly always dif gym like you run your house. Keep it clean and in good
ficult to make and often hotly debated, the improvement is running order. No jerks allowed. Members pay on time,
so pronounced and rapid that “everyone says, ‘why did we and if they give you any crap, throw them out.” Gold ap
wait so long? We should have done it sooner.’” Ann added plied this rule to customers from the time he opened his
that people who were on the verge of leaving the com first gym a block from “Muscle Beach” in Venice Beach,
pany end up staying, and recruiting newcomers to join the California, where early customers included Arnold
group becomes easier. And as the Men’s Wearhouse exam Schwarzenegger, who won seven Mr. Olympia titles.
ple shows, Ann emphasized that jerks who are supposed The leaders of JetBlue and Southwest Airlines put it less
to be so valuable that “you couldn’t afford to lose them” colorfully than Gold but apply a similar rule to passengers.
turn out not to be so valuable and others fill in just fine. Customers who display extreme or persistent nastiness to
u.c. like hr m,ale up 'asshole wanted posters’ and put the Ann added an interesting twist: the person who takes the
pannes of these' twenty-five guys on them.” And “al jerk’s old position is in an enviable position, because “if
though lie wanted to line them up and fire them all at you are nice at all,” people will just be so happy to see you
oihv ," the CEO used the performance evaluation system instead of that old wicked tyrant!
to methodically weed out the people on “the hit list” over
a two-year stretch. This purge was a cornerstone of a cul Apply the Rule to Customers and Clients
tural change that “breathed humanity into the business,
for both employees and customers,” and helped them Organizations that are serious about enforcing the no ass
break “a lot of other bad habits too, like being afraid to hole rule apply it to customers, clients, students, and
experiment with new ideas.” And although I can’t reveal everyone else encountered on the job, not just to employ
the name of this company, I can tell you that during the ees. They apply the rule to everyone because their people
past decade, it has gone from the middle of the pack to don’t deserve the abuse, customers (or taxpayers) aren’t
one of the best performers in its industry. paying good money to endure or witness demeaning
Whether it is just one person or part of a purge, after an jerks, and if persistent nastiness from any group is left
incorrigible bully has finally left the building for good, the unchecked, it creates a culture of contempt that infects
relief is palpable. When I asked Ann Rhoades about her eveiyone it touches. The late Jo e Gold, the founder of
experience with “easing out” these creeps, she emphasized Gold’s Gym, which now has more than 550 locations in
that in every place she had worked— including airlines, 43 countries, applied a variation of this rule to customers.
banks, and hotels— a series of predictable events followed. He didn’t mince words: “To keep it simple, you run your
For starters, although these decisions are nearly always dif gym like you run your house. Keep it clean and in good
ficult to make and often hotly debated, the improvement is running order. No jerks allowed. Members pay on time,
so pronounced and rapid that “everyone says, ‘why did we and if they give you any crap, throw them out.” Gold ap
wait so long? We should have done it sooner.’” Ann added plied this rule to customers from the time he opened his
that people who were on the verge of leaving the com first gym a block from “Muscle Beach” in Venice Beach,
pany end up staying, and recruiting newcomers to join the California, where early customers included Arnold
group becomes easier. And as the Men’s Wearhouse exam Schwarzenegger, who won seven Mr. Olympia titles.
ple shows, Ann emphasized that jerks who are supposed The leaders of JetBlue and Southwest Airlines put it less
to be so valuable that “you couldn’t afford to lose them” colorfully than Gold but apply a similar rule to passengers.
turn out not to be so valuable and others fill in just fine. Customers who display extreme or persistent nastiness to
employees or fellow passengers are put on a “banned” list there. You take the majority of what we do and it is noth
and can’t buy a ticket; each company currently has hun ing more than asshole control.”
dreds of ex-customers on that list. The leaders of these Van Maanen also found that when citizens became inw
companies also back their talk with visible action. Consider or insulting, police officers believed that they deserved i
what happened one day when Ann Rhoades and another “asshole” label— so the cops dished out punishment ranging
Southwest executive were on a business trip and witnessed from traffic tickets to gruff treatment and even (although un
a passenger who was berating employees at the check-in lawful) a bit of roughing up. A “sea story” that cops told il
counter— swearing at them, hollering, and leaning forward lustrates how a citizen might earn the label:
in an intimidating way. Ann’s colleague walked up to the
counter and told this jerk that everyone would be happier POLICEMAN TO MOTORIST STOPPED FOR SPEEDING: “May I See
if he flew another airline and that Southwest people don’t your driver’s license, please?”
deserve that kind of treatment, then walked the “irate jerk” m o t o r is t : “Why the hell are you picking on me and not
over to another airline and bought him a ticket. somewhere else looking for some real criminals?”
Research on how police officers deal with criminals p o l ic e m a n : “’Cause you are an asshole; that’s why. But I
and citizens adds an interesting twist to the rule. MIT pro didn’t know that until you opened your mouth.”
fessor John Van Maanen spent more than a year doing an
intensive anthropological study of police officers in a large Gold’s Gym, Southwest and JetBlue Airlines, and police
city. He attended the police academy and spent months departments all deal with drastically different clientele, but
riding with officers to learn about their work. Van Maanen the rule is useful in all three settings because it helps em
reports in “The Asshole” (a rare scholarly article that uses ployees stifle a culture of contempt and abuse or, for po
the 7-letter word) that cops quickly realize that they can’t lice, may at least help them stop the worst of it from
stop every criminal, so they focus on stopping the most developing on the streets.
demeaning, violent, and immoral of criminals. A veteran

cop told Van Maanen, “I guess what our job really boils Status and Power Differences: Roots of
down to is to not letting the assholes take over the city. Many Evils
What I’m talking about are those shitheads out to prove
that they can push everybody around. Those are the ass Leaders in most organizations not only get paid more than
holes we gotta deal with and take care of on patrol. others, they also enjoy constant deference and false flat
They’re the ones that make it tough on decent people out tery. A huge body of research— hundreds of studies—
shows that when people are put in positions of power, in thousands of interactions every year, you are given
they start talking more, taking what they want for them more than the lion’s share of the goodies (not only more
selves, ignoring what other people say or want, ignoring pay, but the best suites in the best hotels, meals at the
how less powerful people react to their behavior, acting finest restaurants, first-class travel while your underlings
more rudely, and generally treating any situation or per fly coach, and on and on), and few people question
son as a means for satisfying their own needs— and that whether you deserve all those goodies. And if they do
being put in positions of power blinds them to the fact complain, you are “protected” by lieutenants who are
that they are acting like jerks. quick to tell you that those ungrateful whiners don
My Stanford colleague Deborah Gruenfeld has spent know what they are talking about.
years studying and cataloging the effects of putting peo I was on the receiving end of such boorish behavior a
ple in positions where they can lord power over under few years ago. It was at a lunch with the CEO of a prof
lings. The idea that power corrupts people and makes itable company who had just been ranked as one of the
them act as if they are above rules meant “for the little top corporate leaders by a famous business magazine. He
people” is widely accepted. But Gruenfeld shows that it is treated our little of group of four or five professors (all
astounding how rapidly even tiny and trivial power ad fifty-plus-year-old professionals) as if we were naive and
vantages can change how people think and act— and usu rather stupid children. Although, in theory, he was our
ally for the worse. In one experiment, student groups of guest, he told us where to sit and when we could talk (he
three discussed a long list of contentious social issues interrupted several of us in mid-sentence to tell us he had
(things like abortion and pollution). One member was heard enough or didn’t care about what we were saying),
(randomly assigned) to the higher power position of eval criticized the food we ordered ( “That will make you fat”),
uating the recommendations made by the other two mem and generally conveyed that he was our master and com
bers. After thirty minutes, the experimenter brought in a mander and that our job was to focus our efforts on satis
plate of five cookies. The more “powerful” students were
fying his every whim.
more likely to take a second cookie, chew with their
The most striking part was, just as research on power
mouths open, and get crumbs on their faces and the table.
shows, that he seemed completely oblivious to the fact
This silly study scares me because it shows how hav
that he was bullying us and that we were offended. He
ing just a slight power edge causes regular people to
was astonishingly explicit that his goal was to squeeze as
grab the goodies for themselves and act like rude pigs.
much value out of us as possible; he also kept crediting
Just think about the effects of holding a position where,
himself with a host of accomplishments without giving
7-1 Tin- No Asshole R ule Implement the Rule, Enforce It, and Keep It Alive 75
others (.■redit. These actions are consistent with findings of it directed toward lower-status males, and none at all
that powerful people constate others as a means to one’s directed at females. Troop members also spent a larger
own ends while simultaneously giving themselves exces percentage of the time grooming and sat closer together
sive credit for good things that happen to themselves and than in the past, and hormone samples indicated that the
their organizations. All of us felt oppressed and annoyed lowest-status males experienced less stress than under
by this ogre, but none of us complained to him, let alone lings in other baboon troops. Most interestingly, these ef
confronted him directly. One member of our group nearly fects persisted at least through the late 1990s, well after all
lost his temper several times, but had the “sense” to with the original “kinder” males had died. Not only that, when
draw from the gathering on several occasions and ulti adolescent males who grew up in other troops joined the
mately left early. Garbage Dump Troop, they too engaged in less aggressive
Many of the dynamics we experienced at this lunch are behavior than in other baboon troops. As Sapolsky put it,
reminiscent of what happens in troops of wild baboons. “We don’t understand the mechanism of transmission . . .
Biologists Robert Sapolsky and Lisa Share have followed a but the jerky new guys are obviously learning: we don’t
troop of wild baboons in Kenya since 1978. Sapolsky and do things like that around here.” So, at least by baboon
Share called them “the Garbage Dump Troop” because standards, the Garbage Dump Troop developed and en
they got much of their food from a garbage pit at a tourist forced what I would call a no asshole rule.
lodge. But not every baboon was allowed to eat from the I am not suggesting that you get rid of all the alpha
pit in the early 1980s: the aggressive, high-status males in males in your organization, as tempting as that may be
the troop refused to allow lower-status males or any females at times. The lesson from the baboons is that when the
to eat the garbage. Between 1983 and 1986, infected meat social distance between higher- and lower-status mam
from the dump led to the deaths of 46% of the adult males mals in a group is reduced and steps are taken to keep
in the troop. The biggest and meanest males died. As in the distance smaller, higher-status members are less
other baboon troops studied, before they died, these top- likely to act like jerks. Human leaders can use this les
ranking males routinely bit, bullied, and chased males of son to avoid turning into mean, selfish, and insensitive
similar and lower status, and occasionally directed their jerks, too. Despite all the trappings, some leaders do re
aggression at females. main attuned to how people around them are really feel
But when the top ranking males died, aggression by ing, to what their em ployees really believe about how
the new top baboons dropped dramatically, with most ag the organization is run, and to what customers really
gression occurring between baboons of similar rank, little think about their company’s products and services. As
7() Tm No A■•Mi' n r Ki 11 Implement the Rule, Enforce It, and Keep It Alive 77
ilic Carriage Dump Troop leaches us, the key thing staying close to them, they will provide better customer
these leaders do is lake potent and constant steps that service, Costco will be more profitable, and everyone
dampen rather than amplify the power differences b e (including shareholders like himself) will win. Sinegal
tween themselves and others (both inside and outside takes other steps to reduce the “power distance” b e
the company). tween himself and other employees. He visits hundreds
Day is a vivid sign of power differences, and a host of of Costco stores a year, constantly mixing with the em
studies suggest that when the difference between the ployees as they work and asking questions about how he
highest- and lowest-paid people in a company or team is can make things better for them and Costco customers.
reduced, a host of good things happen— including im Despite continuing skepticism from analysts about wast
proved financial performance, better product quality, en ing money on labor costs, Costco’s earnings, profits, and
hanced research productivity, and, in baseball teams, a stock price continue to rise. Treating employees fairly
better win-loss record. But the idea of reducing pay differ also helps the bottom line in other ways, as Costco’s
ences isn’t catching on. Despite such findings, the CEO of “shrinkage rate” (theft by employees and customers) is
a typical large corporation makes more than five hundred only two-tenths of 1%; other retail chains suffer ten to fif
times what the average worker earns. Yet reducing this dis teen times the amount. Sinegal just sees all this as good
tance sends the message to both the CEO and the average business because, when you are a CEO, “everybody is
worker that they are not superstars or superior beings. watching you every minute anyway. If they think the
Consider James D. Sinegal, co-founder and CEO of message you’re sending is phony, they are going to say,
Costco, a warehouse retailer. His salary in 2003 was ‘Who does he think he is?’ ”
$350,000, which is just about ten times what is earned by Sinegal is the rare CEO who can bring himself to re
his top hourly employees and roughly double that of a duce the social distance between himself and everyone
typical Costco store manager. Costco also pays 92.5% of else in the company. In the United States and other West
employee health-care costs. Sinegal could take a lot more ern countries, we are always pressing to create bigger dif
goodies for himself, but has refused a bonus in profitable ferences among winners, also-rans, and losers, but if you
years because “we didn’t meet the standards that we had want to have fewer assholes— and better organizational
set for ourselves,” and he has sold only a modest percent performance— reducing the differences between the highest-
age of his stock over the years. Even Costco’s compensa and lowest-status members of your organization is the
tion committee acknowledges that he is underpaid. way to go. This doesn’t mean that organizations should
Sinegal believes that by taking care of his people and strive to eliminate all status differences between members;
on the contrary, some people are more important to the

model civilized behavior. The teams focused on making
organization than others because they are more difficult to
small but good changes at each place. At one site, man
replace or have more essential skills. Status differences
agers and employees worked to eliminate seemingly small
will always be with us, and even at a place like Costco,
slights like glaring, interruptions, and treating people as if
CEO Sinegal is still at the top of the heap, and the guy
they were “invisible”— slights that had escalated into big
who sweeps the parking lot is near the bottom. George
problems in the past. At another, they held something
Zimmer is the top dog at Men’s Wearhouse, and a rookie
they called a “flake-off” every Friday afternoon, where the
“sales consultant” is near the bottom. But look at what
group drilled into the little details of big problems— such
these and other leaders do to build organizations with
as having veterans talk about “what it is like to be me” ant
fewer assholes and spark better performance— they em
“how you could help me more.”
brace what I call the power-performance paradox-, they realize
The “business results” included less overtime and sick
that their company has and should have a pecking order,
leave, fewer employee complaints, and shorter patient
but they do everything they can to downplay and reduce
waiting times. There were also signs of increased produc
status and power differences among members.
tivity at several sites. Productivity went up 9% at the Hous
ton Cemeteiy— as measured by the number of burials per
Focus on Conversations and Interactions worker. It also turned out that focusing on the little things
that people did was, as I would put it, a remarkably effec
In chapter 1, I described a workplace aggression survey in
tive asshole management technique. Surveys done before
the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. It was part of a
(November 2000) and after (November 2002) revealed that
big organizational change— involving more than seven
these interventions found substantial drops in thirty-two of
thousand people at eleven VA sites— aimed at reducing
sixty kinds of bullying across the eleven sites— things like
employee bullying, psychological abuse, and aggression.
glaring, swearing, “the silent treatment,” obscene gestures,
Each site had an “action team” of managers and union
yelling and shouting, physical threats and assaults, temper
members that developed a custom intervention. But there
tantrums, vicious rumors and gossip, threats of physical
were key similarities at each site: people learned about
harm, and sexist and racist remarks. At the Houston
the damage that aggression does, used role-playing exer
Cemetery, for example, employees reported a 31% de
cises to “get in the shoes” of bullies and victims, and re
crease in “total reported acts of aggression.” Project man
flected before and after they acted. Action team members
ager James Scaringi told me that as of 2006, most of these
and local VA leaders also made a public commitment to
programs still persist and that spin-off interventions were
cropping up throughout the VA (which has about 220,000 preaches that the only thing worse than too much confrontation is
employees), including one focused on workplace civility no confrontation at all. So the company teaches employees
and another that teaches people how to stop small con how to approach people and problems positively, to use
flicts from exploding into big problems. evidence and logic, and to attack problems and not people.
The lesson from what I believe is the biggest bullying The University of Michigan’s Karl Weick advises,
intervention ever done in the United States is that small, “Fight as if you are right; listen as if you are wrong.” That
seemingly trivial changes in how people think, talk, and is what Intel tries to teach through initial lectures, role
act can add up to some mighty big effects in the end. As playing, and, most essential, the ways in which managers
Scaringi told me, “Some of us were skeptical at first that and leaders fight. They teach people how to fight and
such little changes could make a difference, but the evi when to fight. Their motto is “Disagree and then commit,”
dence convinced us otherwise.” because second-guessing, complaining, and arguing after
a decision is made saps effort and attention— which ob
scures whether a decision is failing because it is a bad
Teach People How to Fight
idea or it is a good idea that is implemented with insuf
As noted earlier, enforcing a no asshole rule doesn’t mean ficient energy and commitment. People are also taught to
turning your organization into a paradise for conflict- delay their arguments until all the key facts are in, b e
averse wimps. The best groups and organizations— espe cause it wastes time and because taking a public stance
cially the most creative ones— are places where people based on incomplete information leads people to defend
know how to fight. At Intel, the largest semiconductor and publicly commit to paths that ultimately clash with
maker in the world, all full-time employees are given the best evidence.
training in “constructive confrontation,” a hallmark of the Intel’s approach is backed by a series of experiments
company culture. Leaders and corporate trainers empha and field studies done at the Kellogg Business School,
size that bad things happen when “the bullies win,” when Wharton Business School, and Stanford showing that de
fighting means personal attacks, disrespect, and rude in structive conflict is typically “emotional,” “interpersonal,” or
timidation. These ill effects include “only the loudest and “relationship-based” when people fight because they de
strongest voices get heard,” “no diversity of views,” poor spise one another and, in some cases, have a history of try
communication, high tension, low productivity, and the ing to harm one another. Groups that fight in these ways
belief that people are first “resigned” to living with the are less effective at both creative and routine tasks, and
nastiness and then “resign” from the company. Intel their people are constantly upset and demoralized. In
contrast, these researchers find that conflict is constructive At the moment, I am feeling similar tensions in a start
when people argue over ideas rather than personality or re up team that I am part of at the Hasso Plattner Institute of
lationship issues, which they call “task” or “intellectual” Design at Stanford, a diverse group of experienced design
conflict. Stanford’s Kathleen Eisenhardt and her colleagues, ers, managers, executives, students, and traditional faculty
for example, found that constructive conflict results when like me who are trying to spread design thinking and de
top management teams “base discussion on current factual velop more collaborative and creative ways of teaching
information” and “develop multiple alternatives to enrich classes. We even have a therapist— we call him the
the debate.” Healthy arguments like these were hallmarks “d.shrink”— who goes to our meetings and helps us resolve
of a team led by Bob Taylor at Xerox PARC in the 1970s tensions and move forward. Despite our shared goals, mu
that was credited with developing many technologies that tual respect, and help from the d.shrink, I’ve had multiple
made the computer revolution possible (including the per incidents where I thought that I was involved in “construc
sonal computer and laser printing). Michael Hiltzik’s book tive” confrontation but later found out that I had hurt some
on these magical years at PARC, Dealers o f Lightning, de one’s feelings. And I recently had the experience where a
scribes Taylor’s leadership style: “Impugning a man’s think fellow faculty member made a great suggestion to improve
ing was acceptable, but never his character. Taylor strived my class. Rather than listening as if I was wrong, I re
to create a democracy where everyone’s ideas were impar sponded by writing a nasty e-mail that contained several
tially subject to the group’s learned demolition, regardless snide personal comments. Fortunately, I decided not to
of the proponent’s credentials or rank.” send it, went off and calmed down (and had a nice glass of
Beware, however, that all these pretty stories and sani wine), thought about it, and realized he was right. I fol
tized research findings mask how messy and difficult it can lowed his suggestion (essentially that we give the students
be to fight with other people over ideas without acting like more time and personal attention during their project pre
an asshole. I struggle with this challenge constantly. Jeff sentations), and the class was a big success. Other times, I
Pfeffer is my most frequent coauthor (we’ve written two find myself holding back on making critical comments that
books and many articles) and one of my most trusted I believe will help the group but that I fear will generate too
friends. We both say, and believe, that “the more we fight, much anger. My point is that as we travel from moment to
the better we write.” Yet when Jeff criticizes one of my ideas moment, and group to group, finding the sweet spot be
(which happens several hundred times a year), my first re tween being constructive enough and critical enough is
action is often “that asshole,” and I have to take a moment, tough, and as life is confusing and messy, we all will make
calm down, and then respond to his logic and facts. mistakes along the way.
S4
c T he N o A sshole R ule Implement the Rule, Enforce It, and Keep It Alive 85
A lew years back, I ran a management workshop with parking lot. In the other “condition,” they cleaned the lot
a group of about twenty-five senior Intel executives. I carefully so that there was no litter at all. They placed a
asked them what it was like to engage in effective con large handbill under the windshield wiper on the driver’s
structive confrontation. They answered that on the whole, side of each car that said, “THIS IS AUTOMOTIVE SAFETY
it makes them a far more effective company, but it was a WEEK. PLEASE DRIVE CAREFULLY,” which the driver had
constant struggle to make it work, as some teams would to remove to see out the front window.
“swerve” toward destructive confrontation, with personal The question was what did the driver do with the
attacks and other nastiness becoming pervasive during handbill? Did he or she walk over to the garbage can or
meetings, while other teams would “swerve” in the oppo throw it on the ground? It turned out that drivers were
site direction, turning into timid and conflict-adverse more likely to litter when the setting was already a mess.
wimps. The advice from the Intel executives was similar But here is the twist: half of the drivers encountered a re
to the lessons learned during the organizational change ef searcher acting as a “confederate” (just as they got off the
fort at VA sites. Having a policy and some training isn’t elevator) who conspicuously first read the handbill and
enough; to have effective interactions, you’ve got to focus then threw it on the ground. The effect of watching this
on what is happening in every conversation and meeting one “jerk” violate the littering norm was intriguing—
you have, tweak what you and others do “in the moment,” drivers who saw the “norm violation” were less likely to
and constantly reflect about the little things that happen. throw their handbill into a clean parking lot (6% vs. 14%)
but more likely to throw it into a messy lot (54% vs. 32%).
Should It Be “ the One Asshole Ru le”? The lesson is that when we see someone break a
known rule— like “Don’t litter”— and no one else seems to
Decades of research on how human groups react to “de be breaking it, that single “deviant act” sticks out, which
viant” members implies that having one or two assholes makes the rule more vivid and powerful in our minds. But
around may be better than having none at all. A series of when we see a person break a rule and everyone else
clever studies on littering by the University of Arizona’s seems to be breaking it, we are even more likely to break
Robert Cialdini shows how having one conspicuous rule- the rule, too— because there is evidence that we can get
breaker can spur others to do the right thing. In one study, away with it, or even are expected to break the espoused
Cialdini’s research assistants created a “condition” where rule. Cialdini’s other studies showed that although people
they spewed “an assortment of handbills, candy wrappers, are generally less likely to litter when a place is clean
cigarette butts, and paper cups” around a small enclosed rather than messy, they a r e less likely to litter when there is one
H<) I l il Ni» A s s i i o i .h Kl II.IÎ ___________________ Implement the Rule, Enforce It, and Keep It Alive 87
pict r ofgarbage ou lhe ground rather than no garbage at all. Again, you just might get the one or two that you need.” One
ilu* Mine principle- shows that when one person or per e-mail that I got in response, from a consultant in a large
haps i wo people break a known rule, we are actually professional services firm, added a wise twist: “I agree that
more likely to carefully follow it than when no one breaks you need one jerk around, but everyone should know
il— because the stark contrast between the bad behavior where the jerk fits. [The jerk] sure as hell shouldn’t be pro
of a single “deviant” makes everyone else’s “good behav moted.” This consultant is on target. After all, if you keep
ior” more vivid in our minds. one or two of these token assholes around, then you warn
Cialdini’s findings are consistent with research on de to make crystal clear that their behavior is wrong.
viants and social norms, which shows that when one or
two “bad apples” are kept around— and perhaps rejected, Warning: Be Slow to Brand People
punished, and shunned— everyone else is more conscien
tious about following the written or unwritten rules. The A few years back, I was talking to Peter Macdonald, one o ;
implication for building a civilized workplace is that if one IDEO’s veteran engineers. He was talking about several of
or two jerks and bullies are working there and not re the gruffer people at IDEO, people who are known in
warded for their actions, other organization members will some corners as being jerks. Peter then went on to say that
be more diligent about adhering to the no asshole rule. A IDEO was actually quite effective at keeping jerks out of the
“token asshole” reminds everyone how not to behave and company, but newcomers sometimes mistake people who
the unpleasant consequences for breaking the rule. are gruff, are outspoken, and insist on applying high stan
I don’t know of any organizations that hire token jerks dards to their own work and everyone else’s as being de
on purpose, but I’ve worked in and with a few organiza meaning, nasty- people. Peter went on to say, “Whenever
tions that have accidentally hired one or two who then I’ve worked with a person who was supposed to be an ass
have gone on to (unwittingly) demonstrate to everyone hole, I always found out that it was a bad rap; each turned
else how not to behave. No matter how carefully organi out to be okay once I got to know [him or her] better.”
zations screen candidates, some people turn nasty for per Peter’s experience at IDEO implies multiple lessons for
sonal reasons (that may have nothing to do with the job), effective asshole management. First, resist the temptation to
and some can hide their dark side until after they are hired apply the label to anyone who annoys you or has a bad mo
or even until they are promoted to tenured professor, part ment. If you apply the label to everyone, it means nothing.
ner, or perhaps your boss. As I wrote in my Harvard Busi Second, be slow to brand people as certified assholes just
ness Review essay, “So by aiming to hire no assholes at all, because they act like temporary assholes now and then or
HH H u N< > A sm h >ir Unu
lu\ •■ .» s-.mll exterior. Some people with the roughest exte that organizations do— the stated philosophies; the written
nso. 1i,i\ e the biggest hearts once you get to know them— policies; the training and official hiring, firing, and reward
I ! .ill thrm porcupines with hearts of gold. When a person practices— and the smaller ways in which people actually
lately smiles, has a hard time looking others in the eye, or treat one another.
senns to have a permanent sneer, our natural reaction is to We saw the big policies at Southwest, like hiring and
label him or her as a jerk. As Peter learned, it is best to with firing people for their attitudes and banning incorrigible
hold your judgment and watch what they actually do— to passengers, which were reflected in and reinforced by the
focus on how they treat people on other dimensions, espe smaller things that leaders did. Recall how Herb Kelleher
cially how they treat people with less power and status. refused to hire the pilot who was nasty to a receptionist,
Third, the best way to overcome a negative stereotype of how Ann Rhoades encouraged an unfriendly manager to
someone— unfounded beliefs that a person or all people in find another job, and how another executive bought a
some category are evil, lazy, stupid, or whatever— is to work nasty passenger a ticket on another airline. I’ve distilled
on a task with that person that entails mutual and success my main ideas into the attached list of top ten steps that
ful cooperation toward some goal. Existing research focuses organizations and their leaders can take to enforce the
on using this method to overcome ethnic and racial stereo rule. To boil it down even further: Having all the right
types, but as Peter’s experience shows, this method can ex business philosophies and management practices to sup
tend to overcoming the belief that a particular colleague is port the no asshole rule is meaningless unless you treat
a jerk or is part of a group (e.g., lawyers) that is stereotyped the person right in front o f you, right now, in the right way.
as containing “all” assholes. Of course, there are some peo
ple who fail all these tests; the more we know about them,
the more evidence we get that they are certified assholes.
But it is wise to make such judgments on better rather than THE TOP TEN STEPS
worse evidence.
Enforcing the No Asshole Rule
T h e Upshot: Enforce the Rule by Linking 1. Say th e rule, write it down, and a c t on it. But if you
Big Policies to Small Decencies can’t or won’t follow the rule, it is better to say nothing
at all—avoiding a false claim is the lesser of two evils.
Effective asshole management entails an interplay, fueling You don’t want to be known as a hypocrite and the
a virtuous, self-reinforcing cycle between the “big” things leader of an organization that is filled with assholes.
l )U Tin-. N< > A s s iio i .u Kui.i- Implement the Rule, Enforce It, and Keep It Alive 91
2. A ssh o les will hire other a ssh o le s. Keep your resi- dence, listen to other people, or stop whining and im
donl jerks out of the hiring process, or if you can’t, plement a decision (even if they still disagree with it).
involve as many “civilized” people in interviews and When the time is ripe to battle over ideas, follow Karl
decisions to offset this predilection of people to hire Weick’s advice: fight as if you are right; listen as if you
“jerks like me.” are wrong.
3. G et rid of a s s h o le s fast. Organizations usually wait 9. Adopt the on e a ssh o le rule. Because people follow
too long to get rid of certified and incorrigible ass rules and norms better when there are rare or occa
holes, and once they do, the reaction is usually, “Why sional examples of bad behavior, no asshole rules
did we wait so long to do that?” might be most closely followed in organizations that
4. Treat certified a ssh o le s a s incom petent em ployees. permit one or two token jerks to hang around. These
Even if people do other things extraordinary well but “reverse role models” remind everyone else of the
persistently demean others, they ought to be treated w ro n g behavior.
as incompetent. 10. T he bottom line: link big policies to sm all d ecen
5. Power breed s n astin ess. Beware that giving peo c ie s . Effective asshole management happens when
ple—even seemingly nice and sensitive people— there is a virtuous, self-reinforcing cycle between the
even a little power can turn them into big jerks. “big” things that organizations do and the little things
6. Em brace the power-perform ance paradox. Accept that happen when people talk to one another and
that your organization does have and should have a work together.
pecking order, but do everything you can to downplay
and reduce unnecessary status differences among
members. The result will be fewer assholes and, ac
I also want to emphasize that the true test of an orga
cording to the best studies, better performance, too.
nization’s no asshole rule comes when things are going
7. Manage m om ents— not ju st p ractices, policies,
and sy stem s. Effective asshole management means badly. It is easy to be civilized when things are going
focusing on and changing the little things that you and well, when you’ve experienced one success after another
your people do—and big changes will follow. Reflect and the money and praise are rolling in. As noted, during
on what you do, watch how others respond to you and the years o f G oogle’s wild growth, the company has been
to one another, and work on “tweaking” what happens guided by the motto “Don’t be evil.” Recall that senior
as you are interacting with the person in fro n t o f y o u
vice president Shona Brown explained that the motto
r ig h t now .
meant, in part, that it wasn’t efficient to be an asshole at
8. Model and teach constru ctive confrontation. De
velop a culture where people know when to argue and Google. Unnecessary nastiness has been a big no-no at
when to stop fighting and, instead, gather more evi- Google from the earliest days when Lany Page and
l'in N i > A s m i < >i,i'. K m.I.
Srtgry l Si in Mailed die company. I hope this norm

with 100% certainty that your days will be filled with face-
persists as the company continues to mature and hits
to-face and phone conversations, e-mail exchanges, meet
(inevitable) financial rough spots. Unfortunately, some
ings, and other kinds of human interactions— and that
companies turn nasty when things get rough. But it
your moments, hours, and days at work will be more
doesn’t need to be that way.
meaningful, peaceful, and fun if you work in a place
Xilinx, a semiconductor firm led by CEO Wim Roe- where the no asshole rule reigns supreme.
landts, continued to be a civilized workplace after rev
enues plummeted more than 50% in 2001, in part
because Roelandts treated every employee with so much
respect— talking to people at all levels, inviting them into
his office, and quickly answering each worried e-mail
with factual information. As one employee said, “I am
encouraged to take my questions about anything directly
to the CEO. Every time I have, he returns my messages
within a day.” Xilinx’s humane treatment of people—
which included avoiding layoffs through pay cuts and
voluntary termination programs— led people to bond to
gether rather than turn mean during the crisis. The com
pany bounced back financially by 2003; even more
impressive was that before the trouble started, Xilinx
ranked twenty-first on Fortune's “100 Best Companies to
Work For” in 2000. Xilinx managed to climb to sixth in
2001 (during the worst of it) and was ranked fourth in
2002.
Treating people with respect rather than contempt
makes good business sense— although it won’t always be
enough to help save a troubled company. We can never
know what the future will bring to our organizations and
our lives. But if you work with other people, you know
C hapter 4
How to Stop Your “Inner Jerk” from

Getting Out
T h e last chapter was about applying the rule to organiza

tions. This one is about applying it to yourself— about
keeping your “inner jerk” from rearing its ugly head. Some
people act like assholes no matter where they go. Th;
can’t keep their disdain and rage from polluting even
most peaceful, warm, and loving places. If you are all ass
hole all the time, you probably need therapy, Prozac, anger
management classes, transcendental mediation, more exer
cise, or all of the above. The combined contributions of
coworkers and loved ones, therapists of all stripes, and the
pharmaceutical industry help many of us keep our nasti
ness in check. Yet most of us, even the most “naturally”
kind and mentally healthy, can turn caustic and cruel
under the wrong conditions. Human emotions, including
anger, contempt, and fear, are remarkably contagious. The
96 Tm; No A sshole R ule_______________________ _________________ How to Stop Your “Inner Jerk ” from Getting Out 97
prevalence of bullies in most organizations, plus the pres often became jerks, too. As Duffy told the New York Times,
sures of most jobs, makes it difficult to get through the “This moral disengagement spreads like a germ.” Conta
workday without (at least occasionally) igniting or becom gion studies also show that when people “catch” unpleas
ing trapped in episodes that turn us into menacing creeps. ant expressions from others, like frowning or glaring, it
Yet there are ways to quell your contempt. The first makes them feel grumpier and angrier— even though they
step is to view acting like an asshole as a communicable don’t realize or deny that it is happening to them. So
disease. Once you unleash disdain, anger, and contempt being around people who look angry makes you feel angry,
or someone unleashes it on you, it spreads like wildfire. too. Hatfield and her colleagues sum up emotional conta
“Emotional contagion” researcher Elaine Hatfield and her gion research with an Arabic proverb: “A wise man asso
colleagues concluded, “In conversation, people tend auto ciating with the vicious becomes an idiot.”
matically and continuously to mimic and synchronize their A swarm of assholes is like a “civility vacuum,” sucking
movements with the facial expressions, voices, postures, the warmth and kindness out of everyone who enters and
movements, and instrumental behaviors of others.” If you replacing it with coldness and contempt. These dangers
display contempt, others (even spectators— not just your are reflected in some wise advice that I heard from the
targets) will respond in much the same way, igniting a vi late Bill Lazier, a successful executive who spent the last
cious circle that can turn everyone around you into a twenty years of his career teaching business and entrepre
mean-spirited monster just like you. neurship at Stanford. Bill said that when you get a job
Experiments by Leigh Thompson and Cameron Ander offer or join a team, take a close look at the people you
son show that even when compassionate people join a would work with, not just at whether they are successful
group with a leader who is “high-energy, aggressive, or not. He warned that if your future colleagues are self-
mean, the classic bully type,” they are “temporarily trans centered, nasty, narrow-minded, unethical, or overworked
formed into carbon copies of the alpha dogs.” Evidence and physically ill, there is little chance that you will turn
that nastiness is an infectious disease that you can catch them into better human beings or transform it into a
from your boss isn’t confined to laboratory studies. Dr. healthy workplace— even a tiny company. If you join a
Michelle Duffy followed a sample of 177 hospital workers group filled with jerks, odds are that you will catch their
to see the effects of “morally disengaged” bosses who disease.
were insensitive to others and who condoned teasing, Unfortunately, I learned this lesson after joining a
put-downs, and coldness toward colleagues. Duffy found group led by a renowned management guru. It was dur
that six months later, people who worked for a nasty boss ing the height of the dot-com boom in Silicon Valley, a
98 T he No A sshole R ule How to Stop Your “Inner Jerk ” from Getting Out 99
time when arrogance, selfishness, and the unstated belief other way— that I had caught and fueled an epidemic of
that if you can’t get rich now, you must not be very smart “asshole poisoning.” So I quit the group.
rippled throughout the region. Our little group met several I like to think of myself as such a good, moral, and
Sundays in a row to talk about starting a business strategy strong-willed person that I am immune from mimicking
Web site. About seven or eight people attended these the mean-spirited morons around me. You probably do,
meetings, but the bad behavior was confined to only four too. Unfortunately, as mountains of evidence and Bill
of us— the guru, two other management experts, and me. Lazier’s advice suggest, asshole poisoning is a contagious
We each vied to establish our position as the alpha male. disease that anyone can catch. That’s the bad news. The
We also did nearly all the talking; the women and younger good news is that we are not powerless pawns who— as
men at the meeting rarely spoke, and when they tried, we soon as we find ourselves knee-deep in assholes— are
ignored or interrupted them and went back to our pathetic condemned to become caustic and cruel clones.
game of status jousting.
There was a veneer of civility, but it barely masked our How to Avoid “Asshole Poisoning”
intense and obnoxious one-upmanship. We were al
legedly coming up with ideas for the company (which Don’t J oin the J erks— Leonardo da Vinci
never got off the ground), and instead, we spent the meet Got It R ight
ings showing off our knowledge, bragging about our ac Bill Lazier’s advice means that you ought to do your
complishments, and using interruptions and rapid-fire talk homework before taking a job. Find out if you are about
to battle for airtime. One management consultant whom I to enter a den of assholes, and if you are, don’t give in to
know describes meetings like these as “like watching apes the temptation to join them in the first place. Leonardo da
in the zoo throwing feces to assert dominance.” Vinci said, “It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the
That pretty much sums up what we did. I felt like an end,” which is sound social psychology. The more time
asshole at the end of each meeting, and that feeling was and effort that people put into anything— no matter how
well deserved. My wife, Marina, pointed out that when I useless, dysfunctional, or downright stupid it might be—
came home from each gathering, I acted like an overbear the harder it is for them to walk away, be it a bad invest
ing and pompous jerk there, too. As she put it, I was suf ment, a destructive relationship, an exploitive job, or a
fering from a bad case of “testosterone poisoning.” I workplace filled with browbeaters, bullies, and bastards.
eventually came to my senses and realized— to put it an Although most people know that sunk costs shouldn’t
100 T he No A sshole R ule____________________ How to Stop Your “Inner Jerk ” from Getting Out 101
be considered in making a decision, the “too-much- her to accept the job of leading a groundbreaking new
invested-to-quit syndrome” is a powerful driver of human program, he promised Andrea that they would work
behavior. We justify all the time, effort, suffering, and closely together and that he would give her freedom and
years and years that we devote to something by telling professional respect. He raved about her past experience
ourselves and others that there must be something worth managing similar programs, treated her with warmth, and
while and important about it or we never would have was downright charming. Yet the scientist showed his true
sunk so much of our lives into it. And there is a double colors right after Andrea accepted her “dream” position,
whammy: the more time that we spend knee-deep in but before her official start date. She was so excited about
nasty people, the more prone we are to become just like the new job that she started going to meetings with him
them. and his colleagues. During these meetings, the scientist
I could have saved myself a lot of aggravation if I’d didn’t introduce her to the team, interrupted her repeat
followed “da Vinci’s rule” before joining that group led by edly, and belittled her ideas. Although she was hired to set
the management guru. I knew he was an arrogant and the strategy, she was told, “Just get on the chairlift while
overbearing jerk when I agreed to go to those meetings— it is moving.” When Andrea asked to meet with the scien
I had been to earlier meetings with him on projects tist to discuss her concerns, he wouldn’t take the time.
where I had caught asshole poisoning. Yet I couldn’t help Andrea wisely pulled the plug on the position.
myself; my greed for money and status overwhelmed that My wife, Marina, had a similar experience about twenty
little voice inside me that was saying, “You are going to years ago when she was a young lawyer. After she had ac
act like a jerk if you do it.” I eventually did come to my cepted a job in which she would be working for a
senses. At least I backed out before investing a lot of time renowned litigation attorney, Marina met a young lawyer
and effort and falling prey to the too-much-invested-to- from that firm who “outed” the renowned attorney as a
quit syndrome. flaming asshole. When the attorney heard from the firm’s
Sometimes da Vinci’s rule can save you from a work recruiters that Marina had changed her mind because he
place where people have fooled you during job interviews was “difficult to work with,” he called Marina to berate
and the recruitment process but start showing their true and criticize her and to pressure her to reveal the insider
colors before you take the job. Consider what happened who had outed him. Marina refused to reveal her source,
to a friend and colleague of mine. I’ll call her Andrea. She and the litigator became even more hostile when she told
was offered what sounded like a fabulous job working him, “Your behavior on this call confirms the reasons be
with a respected scientist. When the scientist was wooing hind my decision.”
It would have been a lot easier on Andrea and Marina told the drunk, “You know, if you don’t start tipping me
if they had done more homework in advance. Yet they pretty soon here, you can just walk your ass up to the bar,
were wise to “resist at the beginning,” both to spare them ’cause I’ve sold you at least a hundred fifty bucks of prod
selves the abuse and to avoid joining a workplace where uct and you’ve been stiffing me.” Seaver soon left for a
they could catch asshole poisoning. “mellow” place where the risk of asshole poisoning was a
lot lower.
W alk Out— or Stay Away as M uch as Y ou Can
Seaver’s instinct was to avoid this jerk, but she couldn’t
It isn’t always possible to know what a place will be because he was sitting smack in the middle of her section.
like before you start a job. The people who recruit you Her inclination brings up a related tactic: if you can’t or
might put on fake charm during interviews (like the scien won’t quit your job, do everything you can to limit your
tist did to Andrea) or use a bait-and-switch technique contact with the worst people. Go to as few meetings with
where they roll out delightful people to recruit you and known assholes as possible, answer inquires from them as
then— after you sign on— put you in an obnoxious group.
slowly and rarely as you can, and when you can’t avoid
Or the job may be so stressful— with long hours, severe
them, keep the meetings short. I’ll talk about avoidance
time pressures, or cruel clients— that you can’t contain
tactics in chapter 5 too, as they are essential for surviving
your anxiety and anger. Again, da Vinci’s rule works: get
a corrosive workplace that you can’t or won’t leave. But
out as fast as you can.
hiding and walking away can also limit your risk of catch
An account by waitress Jessica Seaver shows how this
ing and spreading bad cheer. To do so, you may need to
can happen in a fascinating book called Gig, a collection
unlearn what we were all taught in grade school: that the
of more than 120 interviews in which American workers
“good kids” stay in their seats and endure everything from
talk about their jobs. Seaver reports that she learned how
mind-numbing boredom to demeaning teachers.
to deal with customers “when their attitude is just so piss-
poor or they’re just high on themselves” by avoiding them As adults, many of us still can’t shake off that lesson.
and— most of the time— containing her rage. But Seaver We feel glued to our chairs during conversations and
reached her breaking point at one packed and noisy bar meetings with nasty people. Listen to author Nick Hornby
after working six days in a row. A drunk from Alabama or when he gives “one of the only pieces of advice that I
dered round after round of drinks for his friends and have to offer younger generations: you’re allowed to walk out.”
never gave her a tip. After he ordered yet another round Hornby was talking about boring concerts and movies,
of tequila shots, Seaver “doused his head with salt” and but also suggests it is good advice for any occasion— and
104 T he N o A sshole R ule How to Stop Your “Inner Jerk ” from Getting Out 105
to me, that includes when you feel surrounded by a playing a game that you will probably lose. The odds are
bunch of assholes. against you that you will be the top salesperson, best
baseball player, or CEO, and even if you are, you will
W arning: Seeing Coworkers as R ivals and eventually lose your crown. Winning is a wonderful thing
Enemies Is a Dangerous Game if you can help and respect others along the way. But if
As we saw in the last chapter, when status differences you stomp on others as you climb the ladder and treat
between people (and baboons) at the top, middle, and them like losers once you reach the top, my opinion is
bottom of the pecking order are emphasized and magni that you debase your own humanity and undermine your
fied, it brings out the worst in everyone. Alpha males and team or organization.
females turn into selfish and insensitive jerks and subject Research on “framing” by social psychologists suggests
a few tricks you can use to avoid being an overly compet
their underlings to abuse; people at the bottom of the
itive jerk and to help immunize yourself from catching
heap withdraw, suffer psychological damage, and perform
asshole poisoning. The assumptions and language we
at levels well below their actual abilities. Many organiza
use— the lenses that we see the world through— can have
tions amplify these problems by constantly rating and
big effects on how we treat others. Even seemingly small
ranking people, giving the spoils to a few stars, and treat
differences in language that we hear and use can deter
ing the rest as second- and third-class citizens. The unfor
mine whether we cooperate or compete. Stanford re
tunate result is that people who ought to be friends
searcher Lee Ross and his colleagues published
becom e enemies, cutthroat jerks who run wild as they
experiments in the Journal o f Experimental Psychology and Per
scramble to push themselves up the ladder and push their
sonality and Social Psychology Bulletin in which they had pairs
rivals down.
of students play a game where they could choose to co
Yet believing that organizational life is pure cutthroat
operate and treat it as a “win-win” game or compete and
competition is a dangerous half-truth. It is nearly always a
treat it as a competitive “I win, you lose” game.
blend of cooperation and competition, and organizations The games were based on the classic prisoner’s
that forbid extreme internal competition not only are more dilemma. If both parties were honest and cooperative, both
civilized, but perform better too— despite societal myths were rewarded well and equally. If both were competitive,
to the contrary. And from a personal point of view, if you then both got screwed with a low score. If one person com
look at the odds, when you link your self-worth to becom peted but the other cooperated, then the competing person
ing top dog and staying at the top of the heap, you are won big with a big score and the cooperative person got
106 Tin- No A sshole R ule How to Stop Your “Inner Jerk ” from Getting Out ,107
screwed with a very low score. People who don’t cooper at the end of each day, ‘What did I do to put myself above
ate in prisoner’s-dilemma situations often lie, telling their my coworkers?’ If you can’t come up with anything, you
partner that they are going to cooperate but then turning wasted a day.” Halpin told the Academy o f Management Exec
against their partner in the end to grab all of the goodies utive that he turned this philosophy into action at meetings
for themselves. Prisoner’s-dilemma situations have been with the twenty regional managers of this chain of retail
used in thousands of experiments and mathematical stores. Halpin said that he drew a line down the center of
simulations, including work done by several Nobel Prize the table: the ten strongest performers sat behind the line;
winners. the ten weakest performers sat in front of the line, closer
In Ross’s experiments, the only difference between the to where senior managers stood, “because they have to
two games was that half of the players were told that it listen to everything w e’ve got to say.” These managers
was the “Community Game” (conjuring up images of also wore name tags that displayed the shrink numbers
shared fate and collaboration) and the other half were told (lost and stolen inventory) for the stores they ran. Halpin
that it was the “Wall Street Game” (conjuring up images of believed that the proper reaction to poor numbers should
a dog-eat-dog world). People who played the Community be, “Look at the guy’s shrink. It is terrible compared to the
Game were dramatically more cooperative and honest company average. I am not sitting next to him.” Halpin
about their intentions than those who believed they were never mentioned the alternative frame: when people who
playing the Wall Street Game. These findings were later do things well give help and advice to people who do it
replicated with U.S. Air Force Academy cadets, and related badly, the whole organization can benefit. Halpin was
experiments show that when people are first exposed to eventually forced out after CompUSA suffered financial
or “primed” with words like enemy, battle, inconsiderate, vi problems, but I’ve always been intrigued by this case be
cious, lawyer, and capitalist, they were far less likely to co cause it shows how the way in which the world is framed
operate than when first exposed to words like helped, fair, can shape how people behave. Halpin was— quite
warm, mutual, and share. So these seemingly trivial differ intentionally— creating a world where cutthroat competi
ences in language had profound effects on how willing tion was expected and seen as desirable. The implication
people were to be selfish and dishonest backstabbers. is that if you want to quell your inner jerk and avoid
The implications of framing life as a purely competitive spreading (and catching) this form of asshole poisoning,
game can be seen in the advice that James Halpin, former use ideas and language that frame life in ways that will
CEO of CompUSA, gave his people: “Your coworkers are make you focus on cooperation. Consider three “cooper
your competition” and “I tell employees to ask themselves ative frames” that you might use.
How to Stop Your “Inner Jerk ” from Getting Out 109
First, although many situations do require a mix of as the needs that we all have for love, comfort, happiness,
competition and cooperation, try focusing on the win-win and respect. I realized the power of this frame when an
aspects. When I visit organizations, in order to get a sense in-home closet designer named Wendy spent several
of how cooperative or competitive people are, I listen hours at my house to design a new storage system. When
carefully to the words they use. I listen for the word we I asked about her about her business, she said that the key
versus / and me. I also pay close attention to how the peo to designing a good closet and to having interesting and
ple talk about their view of other groups in the respectful interactions with clients was to focus on the
organization— do they still say we, or do they start saying ways in which all people are alike. “We are all the same”
us versus them? These sound like trivial things, but as Alan was Wendy’s mantra.
Kay and Lee Ross showed, small differences in language Wendy made her point with an extreme comparison.
can be diagnostic. She explained that she approached me and my closet in
Renowned management gum Peter F. Drucker looked exactly the same way as her last client— a sadomasochist
back at his 65-year consulting career shortly before he who needed room to hang up his whips and chains.
died. He concluded that great leaders could be either Wendy listened to him, measured his stuff, and thought
“charismatic or dull” or “visionary or numbers-oriented,” about what he needed. And she added that, really, my
but the most inspiring and effective managers he knew all needs— and my closet— “weren’t much different than his”
had a few things in common, including, “They thought (even though I had no whips and chains) because, once
and said we rather than /,” So start listening to the words you get past the surface, we are “all the same” in most
that you and your colleagues say. Tape-record and listen ways. There are, of course, many ways in which people
to a couple of meetings; if they are nearly all about “me, differ. There are also good reasons for celebrating such
myself, and I” and “us versus them,” it might be time to differences and rewarding people based on different skills
start changing the way you talk— it can help keep your and performance levels. Yet I think that Wendy’s philoso
phy and framing are constructive for reminding us of our
inner jerk in check.
Second, adopt a frame that turns your attention to ways common humanity, which helps us see and treat other
in which you are no better or worse than other people. people in ways we would like to be treated.
D on’t focus on all the big and little ways that you are su Finally, if you read or watch TV programs about busi
perior (provoking arrogance and negative opinions of oth ness or sports, you often see the world framed as a place
ers) or inferior (provoking envy and hostility). Think of all where everyone wants “more more more for me me m e,”
the ways that fellow human beings are just like you, such every minute in every way. The old bumper sticker sums
it up: “Whoever dies with the most toys wins.” The potent that the billionaire can never have— “the knowledge that
but usually unstated message is that we are all trapped in a I’ve got enough.” These wise words provide a frame that
lifelong contest where people can never get enough money, can help you to be at peace with yourself and to treat those
prestige, victories, cool stuff, beauty, or sex— and that we do
around you with affection and respect.
and should want more goodies than everyone else.
This attitude fuels a quest for constant improvement J oe H f.i j .er
that has a big upside, leading to everything from more
beautiful athletic and artistic performances to more ele True story, Word of Honor:
gant and functional products to better surgical procedures Joseph Heller, an important and funny writer
and medicines to more effective and humane organiza now dead,
tions. Yet when taken too far, this blend of constant dis and I were at a party given by a billionaire
satisfaction, unquenchable desires, and overbearing
on Shelter Island.
competitiveness can damage your mental health. It can
I said, “Joe, how does it make you feel
lead you to treat those “below” you as inferior creatures
to know that our host only yesterday
who are worthy of your disdain and people “above” you
may have made more money
who have more stuff and status as objects of envy and
than your novel Catch-22
jealousy.
has earned in its entire history?”
Again, a bit of framing can help. Tell yourself, “I have
And Jo e said, “I’ve got something he can never have.”
enough.” Certainly, some people need more than they
And I said, “What on earth could that be, Joe?”
have, as many people on earth still need a safe place to
And Jo e said, “The knowledge that I’ve got enough.”
live, enough good food to eat, and other necessities. But
Not bad! Rest in peace!
too many of us are never satisfied and feel constantly
slighted, even though— by objective standards— we have — Kurt Vonnegut
all we need to live a good life. I got this idea from a lovely The New Yorker, May 16, 2005
little poem that Kurt Vonnegut published in the New Yorker
called “Joe Heller,” which was about the author of the See Y ourself as Others Do
renowned World War II novel Catch-22 . The poem describes I’ve been careful to define assholes in terms of their
a party that Heller and Vonnegut attended at a billionaire’s effects on others. Recall the first of the two “asshole de
house. Heller remarks to Vonnegut that he has something tector” tests that I introduced early in the book: After talk
ing to the alleged asshole, does the “target”feel oppressed, humili As these coaches reported in Harvard Business Review,
ated, de-energized, or belittled by the person? In particular, does he among their most famous clients are Michael Dell
or she feel worse about him or herself? This test means that (founder and chairman of computer giant Dell) and Kevin
whether or not you think you are an asshole is less im Rollins (current Dell CEO). Michael Dell’s subordinates
portant than what other people think. And hundreds of saw him as remote, impatient, and unappreciative. People
studies by psychologists show that nearly all human be who worked with Rollins saw him as overly critical, opin
ings travel through life with distorted, and often inflated, ionated, and a poor listener because he was so quick to
beliefs about how they treat, affect, and are seen by oth jump in with his own suggestion and ignore their ideas.
ers. If you want to confront the hard facts about yourself Neither Dell nor Rollins realized how much fear and frus
rather than wallowing in your protective delusions, try tration they were breeding in the company.
contrasting what you believe about yourself with how To their credit, both have worked hard to change their
others see you. negative behavior, and they now monitor their progress
Work by executive coaches Kate Ludeman and Eddie with regular 360-degree evaluations. Dell and Rollins also
Erlandson on alpha males shows how this ought to be used serious humor to help contain what I would call their
done. These coaches emphasize that alpha males have inner jerks. Rollins, for example, got himself a Curious
upsides too, including the ability to act decisively and George stuffed animal to remind himself “to be more in
produce results, so it isn’t fair to simply label them as quiring and open to other people’s ideas.” They also made
assholes. As w e’ve seen, however, there are striking sim more systematic changes in company practices, including
ilarities. Ludeman and Erlandson learned that when they working with human resources to change the profile of
want to change an alpha male’s destructive behavior, the ideal Dell general manager to reflect an increased em
they first collect information about how he is viewed by phasis on listening to people and treating them with re
superiors, peers, and subordinates: for one client, they spect. And after Dell and Rollins began talking openly
collected fifty pages of information about his actions about their weaknesses, it gave other senior executives
from thirty-five different people, and then summarized it “permission” to talk about their own nastiness and insen
for him in a one-page chart. Ludeman and Erlandson say sitivity, and gave their colleagues permission to “call
that although they often get defensive at first, many them” on bad behavior. As one general manager put it,
alpha males find themselves unable to argue with such “After som eone discloses that he periodically lobs
overwhelming evidence, and it motivates them to grenades into meetings but intends to stop, we all have
change. permission to call him on it. And we do.”
Face Your Past Examples include anxiety, aggression, dominance, emo

I’ve focused on how people can avoid catching and tional stability, primal trauma, passive-aggression, type A
spreading asshole poisoning regardless of their particular behavior, need for control, neuroticism, narcissism, para
inner demons. I’ve done so because too much existing noia, tolerance, trust, warmth, and on and on and on. It is
impossible to drag you through an “asshole proneness
advice about managing jerks, bullies, and abusive
analysis” of every known personality and background
supervisors— including advice on how they ought to man
measure in this little book. But there is one big lesson that
age themselves— places too much weight on personalities.
you ought to know, an old saying in psychology that is
And it doesn’t place enough weight on how asshole poi
backed by reams of evidence: The best predictor o f future be
soning is something that almost anyone can catch. Despite
havior is past behavior. This simple truth means that facing
claims in some books that “a leopard does not change its
the facts about your dark past— just as alcoholics and
spots” and “born a jerk, die a jerk,” a massive body of psy
other addicts do in their treatment— can be a powerful
chological research shows that, at best, personality has
way to assess and start changing your “asshole proneness.”
only moderate effects on what people do in different situ
Ask yourself whether you were a bully in school. There
ations. I’ve also avoided focusing too much on personal
are hundreds of studies of bullying in schools, of children
traits because, compared to the time and effort it takes to
who repeatedly oppress and humiliate their classmates.
change your personality or someone else’s, you get more
Researcher Dan Olweus has done particularly rigorous
bang for the buck by doing (or teaching others to do)
studies in Norway, surveying more than 130,000 students
straightforward things like picking the place you work,
and doing long-term follow-up studies of both bullies and
walking out of a bad place, avoiding nasty people, chang
their victims. His research shows that about 7% of Norwe
ing your “frame,” and “testing” how other people see you gian children are bullies and about 9% are victims. This re
(and making adjustments as a result). Such steps aren’t search further shows that it is possible to predict which
simple or painless. But they are a lot easier— and more kids will become bullies, typically those who were raised
likely to succeed— than transforming the personality that by cold or aggressive parents, those whose parents let
you were born with or that was ingrained in you as a child. them get away with aggression, and those who had a his
This doesn’t mean that personality doesn’t matter. Re tory of “an active and hotheaded temperament” before
searchers have uncovered and labeled thousands of per starting school. There isn’t any systematic research show
sonality characteristics. And hundreds of these traits can ing that schoolyard bullies become workplace bullies, but
make a person more or less prone to act like an asshole. Olweus’s research shows that such nastiness persists into
116 T he N o A sshole R ule How to Stop Your “Inner Jerk” from Getting Out 117
adulthood, as approximately 60% of boys who were iden of honor persists to this day. People raised in these cul
tified as bullies in grades six through nine were convicted tures are especially polite and considerate in most interac
of at least one crime by the time they were twenty-four tions, in part because they want avoid threatening the
years old (compared to only 10% of kids who weren’t bul honor of others (and the fight it provokes)— even long
lies). These findings are dramatic enough that it isn’t much after they have moved to another part of the country.
of a stretch to assume that if you were a bully in school, Once they are affronted, men raised in these places often
you will be more prone to taunting, teasing, threatening, feel obligated to lash back and protect what is theirs, es
and even doing physical harm to your coworkers. pecially their right to be treated with respect or “honor.”
Facing the facts about your past behavior can help you Experiments by Cohen and his colleagues that were
assess your “risk” of acting like an asshole in the future. published in the Journal o f Personality and Social Psychology
But there is also intriguing research by anthropologists, show that for men raised in the southern United States,
historians, and psychologists suggesting that the culture the culture of honor continues to have measurable and
you were raised in can amplify your risk, especially if you strong effects even after they have moved to the northern
grew up in an aggressive and violence-prone countiy, re United States. In this 1996 study at the University of Michi
gion, or neighborhood. To illustrate, following research at gan, subjects (half southerners and half northerners)
the University of Michigan by Dov Cohen and his col passed a stooge who “accidentally” bumped into him and
leagues, you might have been raised in a “culture of called him an asshole. There were big differences be
honor,” a region or group “in which even small disputes tween how the northerners and southerners reacted: 65%
become contests for reputation and social status.” Anthro of the northerners were amused by the bump and insult,
pological research shows that these are cultures where and only 35% got angry; only 15% of the insulted south
men gain and sustain status by being known as someone erners were amused, and 85% got angry. Not only that, a
who “can’t be pushed around” and “who won’t take any second study showed that southerners had strong physio
shit.” American examples cited by Cohen and his col logical reactions to being bumped, especially substantial
leagues include the old “cowboy” western and southern increases in cortisol (a hormone associated with high lev
United States. These were both once unruly and unstable els of stress and anxiety), as well as some signs of in
places where law enforcement was largely absent and creased testosterone levels. Yet northerners showed no
where one’s wealth and social standing could easily be signs of physiological reaction to the bump and insult.
wrested away by others— and even though that has The lesson from these experiments, plus a host of other
changed in many parts of the West and South, the culture studies, is that if you were raised as a southerner— or
perhaps a cowboy— you will likely be more polite than

your colleagues most of the time, but if you run into an
even mildly insulting asshole, you are prone to lash out ADMITTING
and risk fueling a cycle of asshole poisoning.
AN ASSHOLE
T h e Upshot: Asshole, Know T h y self
Dave Sanford just graduated from Stanford in 2006. Dave

FIRST STEP
is one of my favorite students of all time, in part because
he has so much self-awareness (he is also brilliant and
charming). When I told Dave about this book, he told me jerk). The upshot is: to avoid acting like or becoming a known ass
hole, know thyself.
how, when he first came to Stanford as a freshman, some
classmates thought that he was a jerk because they weren’t I’ve coached youth sports a bit over the years. I wish I
had one of these buttons to give out to those obnoxious
accustomed to his sense of humor, especially his tendency
parents who bellow out highly inappropriate critiques, in
to look completely serious even when he was joking. Dave
sults, and unwanted advice from the sidelines— upsetting
made a big effort to understand how other people experi
the kids and making the game into a horrid experience for
enced him and to stop doing things that provoked people
everyone involved. At their worst, these overbearing
who didn’t know him well to mislabel him as a jerk. Dave
sports parents are among the most clueless and craziest
showed me a button (see picture) that his brother gave
assholes I’ve ever encountered. Last year, I was assistant
him to help with this crusade that said, “Admitting you’re
soccer coach for a team of nine-year-old girls. An ugly
an asshole is the first step.” That button captures much of episode happened when one of “our” parents became so
what this chapter is about: to keep your inner asshole from upset at the referee’s call that he ran onto the field in the
getting out, you need to be aware of places and people middle of the game to berate the referee. When I asked
that will turn you into an asshole. You have to be aware of the parent to get off the field, explaining that he was vio
how seeing life as a bitter winner-takes-all contest can turn lating both the letter and the spirit of the league rules, he
you into an instant jerk, and of how others see you even got so mad— his veins were popping, and he started glar
if it doesn’t reflect your true intentions (like Dave, you ing at me and screaming insults— that I thought he was
might learn how to stop people from mislabeling you as a going to punch me.
120 T he N o A sshole R ule How to Stop Your “Inner Je rk ” from Getting Out 121
Thinking back on that incident and others like it, out on a date, or perhaps even in buying a particular
perhaps— building on the current soccer rules for unsports product. Our results show that a person’s speaking style
manlike conduct by players— the rules for youth sports and ‘tone o f voice’ can predict objective outcomes (e.g.,
ought to be modified so that referees can award a “yellow interest in a conversation or in going out on a date) with
card” to, say, suspend a nasty parent from the sidelines of a 75-85% accuracy.”
game for ten minutes and a “red card” to expel persistently
or excessively vile parents for the entire game. Perhaps both
the message and the public humiliation could help some of
these parents gain badly needed self-awareness— and
cleanse the kids’ games of these horrible role models.
I’ve already talked about ways to achieve such self-
knowledge and self-control, arguing that you ought to look
at the people around you and into your past to assess— and
perhaps reduce— your risk of spreading and catching such
poison. You can also take a more direct approach to self-
knowledge and do a personal “asshole audit.”
If you are interested in “real-time” information, look
into a device invented by Anmol Madan and his col
leagues at the MIT Media Lab. His gizmo is called the Jerk-
O-Meter, and people can use it as an asshole detector to
help them realize when they are being nasty or insensi
T he M IT J erk -O-Meter
tive. The Jerk-O-Meter attaches to your phone and uses
electronic speech analysis to provide instant feedback to
the person speaking on factors including stress, empathy, I like the Jerk-O-Meter because it measures how peo
and “overall jerk factor.” These MIT researchers claim: ple are acting in the moment. After all, one o f the main ideas
“The mathematical models for the Jerk-O-Meter were de in this book is that the no asshole rule is meaningless—
rived from several research studies at the Media Lab. regardless of what you say, what policies you enact, and
These studies evaluated how a person’s speaking style the best of intentions— unless you treat the person right in
could reflect his or her interest in a conversation, in going front o f you, right now, in the right way.
Unfortunately, the Jerk-O-Meter isn’t available in stores. are qualified to help yourself, other nasty colleagues, or
And even if it ever is, it doesn’t measure everything you your organization eradicate this problem. As my son Tyler
do (only voice tone) and doesn’t assess how others react likes to say, “Just because you suffer from an affliction
to you. So I’ve also developed a little self-test to help you does not mean that you are an expert on it.”
figure out if you are a certified asshole. The test is inspired
by the research and ideas here, although it has not been Taken together, this chapter and the last provide a
validated by rigorous scientific studies. But you might find one-two punch that can help you enforce the no asshole
it to be a useful tool for launching your personal asshole rule. If you manage your organization so that the no ass
audit. hole rule reigns and manage yourself to avoid catching
Start out by completing the twenty-four true/false ques and spreading asshole poisoning, you can fuel a virtuous
tions (“Self-Test: Are You a Certified Asshole?” on pp. 124-6) cycle that can help sustain a civilized workplace. Unfor
about your gut reactions to people, how you treat others, tunately, life isn’t always so sweet. There are times when
and how others react to you. Bear in mind that this is just people can’t avoid taking a job in Jerk City or when,
an impromptu test, but take a moment to see how you once they do, they becom e trapped (or feel trapped).
score. You might be surprised! The next chapter offers ideas about how to survive in a
If you want even better evidence, follow the lead of place where every workday feels like a walk down Ass
Dell executives and find out what other people think hole Avenue.
about you. Just take the list of questions and change “you”
to your name. So, if your name is Chris, the first statement
would be “Chris feels surrounded by incompetent idiots—
and he can’t help letting them know the truth every now
and then.” Beware that if you can’t protect the anonymity
of people who complete the survey about you, be suspi
cious if they don’t rate you as an asshole. If you are a
known jerk, they will fear your wrath and revenge. If your
audit is done right, and all signs are that you are prone to
act like a jerk, take another look at the ideas in this chap
ter. And remember that just because you are an asshole
and have the courage to admit it doesn’t mean that you
SELF-TEST: ARE YOU A CERTIFIED ASSHOLE? __ 10. You find it useful to glare at, insult, and even occa
sionally holler at some of the idiots at your
Signs That Your Inner Jerk Is Rearing Its Ugly Head
workplace—otherwise, they never seem to shape
up.
Instructions: indicate whether each statement is a true __ 11. You take credit for the accomplishments of your
(T) or false (F) description of your typical feelings and in team—why not? They would be nowhere without
teractions with the people at your workplace. you.
__ 12. You enjoy lobbing “innocent" comments into meet
What Are Your Gut Reactions to People? ings that serve no purpose other than to humiliate
__ 1. You feel surrounded by incompetent idiots—and or cause discomfort to the person on the receiving
you can’t help letting them know the truth every end.
now and then. __ 13. You are quick to point out others' mistakes.
__ 2. You were a nice person until you started working __ 14. You don’t make mistakes. When something goes
with the current bunch of creeps. wrong, you always find some idiot to blame.
__ 3. You don’t trust the people around you, and they __ 15. You constantly interrupt people because, after all,
don’t trust you. what you have to say is more important.
__ 4. You see your coworkers as competitors. __ 16. You are constantly buttering up your boss and
__ 5. You believe that one of the best ways to “climb the other powerful people, and you expect the same
ladder" is to push other people down or out of the treatment from your underlings.
way. __ 17. Your jokes and teasing can get a bit nasty at
__ 6. You secretly enjoy watching other people suffer times, but you have to admit that they are pretty
and squirm. funny.
__ 7, You are often jealous of your colleagues and find it __ 18. You love your immediate team and they love you,
difficult to be genuinely pleased for them when they but you are all at constant warfare with the rest of
do well. the organization. You treat everyone else like crap
__ 8. You have a small list of close friends and a long list because, after all, if you’re not on my team, you
of enemies, and you are equally proud of both either don’t matter or are the enemy.
lists.
How Do People React to You?
How Do You Treat Other People?
__ 19. You notice that people seem to avoid eye contact
__ 9, You sometimes just can’t contain your contempt when they talk to you—and they often become
toward the losers and jerks at your workplace. very nervous.
Tin-: No A s s i i oi .i-: Ks hi :
_ 20. You have the feeling that people are always very
careful about what they say around you.
__ 21. People keep responding to your e-mail with hostile
reactions, which often escalate into “flame wars”
with these jerks.
__ 22. People seem hesitant to divulge personal informa C hapter 5
tion to you.
__ 23. People seem to stop having fun when you show up.
__ 24. People always seem to react to your arrival by an
nouncing that they have to leave.
When Assholes Reign: Tips for Surviving
Nasty People and Workplaces
Scorin g the test: add up the number of statements that
you marked as true. This isn't a scientifically validated test,
but in my opinion:
0-5 true: you don’t sound like a certified asshole, unless M illions of people feel trapped in places where “the pro
you are fooling yourself. asshole rule” rather than the no asshole rule prevails. Em
ployees who face and witness constant bullying do leave
5-15 true: You sound like a borderline certified asshole;
their jobs at higher rates than in civilized places.
perhaps the time has come to start changing your behav
ior before it gets worse. Researchers Charlotte Rayner and Loraleigh Keashly es
timate that 25% of victims and 20% of witnesses of bully
15 or more true: You sound like a full-blown certified ass ing leave their jobs, compared to a typical rate of about
hole to me; get help immediately. But please, don’t come 5%. But these numbers also show that most of the afflicted
to me for help, as I would rather not meet you.
hunker down and take it. Many people are stuck in vile
workplaces for financial reasons— they have no escape
route to another job, at least to one that pays as well. Even
good jobs in civilized places involve run-ins with nasty
people, especially service jobs. JetBlue flight attendants,
7-Eleven clerks, Starbucks baristas, Disneyland cast mem
bers, business school professors, and McKinsey consultants
128 T he N o A sshole R ule Tips for Surviving Nasty People and Workplaces 129
all have told me that sometimes they “just have to take it” was beaten down. Although she weathered the storm and
from demeaning customers. kept her position, she emerged with her confidence
And even people who are planning to escape a wicked eroded and was physically and emotionally exhausted.
workplace may choose to endure weeks or months of Ruth lost weight and had a hard time sleeping for months
abuse before walking out. A Harvard Business Review reader after the abuse she suffered at the hands of these jerks.
wrote to me that his software company had “jerks in man Three years later, a similar dynamic reared its ugly
agement that crush their employees” and made them feel head again, with the same creeps using the same dirty
“worthless,” so the best programmers kept leaving, but tricks. This time, Ruth went in with her eyes open, deter
only after lining up another job. People may also tolerate mined to get through it all without letting them “get” to
abuse for a while because they promised to finish a proj her. Ruth’s coping strategy was inspired by advice she had
ect, are holding out for a year-end bonus, or are waiting gotten as a teenager from a river rafting guide: If you fall
for stock options or a retirement plan to vest. Yet whether out of the boat in rapids, don’t try to fight it; just rely on
you are a “short-timer” or face a long sentence embedded your life vest and float with your feet out in front of you.
with a bumper crop of assholes, there are ways to make That way, if you are thrown up against rocks, you can use
the best of a bad situation. your feet to push off, and you will protect your head and
Consider the strategy that one Silicon Valley executive conserve your energy. As it turned out, Ruth had fallen
used to survive her mean-spirited colleagues. Let’s call her overboard, in a stretch of the American River in California
Ruth to protect the innocent as well as the guilty. Earlier known as Satan’s Cesspool. The guide’s advice worked
in her career, Ruth became tangled in a nasty political bat perfectly: after an amazing trip through the rapids, with
tle with “a slew of assholes” who routinely put her down, her feet out in front of her, Ruth came to a smooth stretch
interrupted her, and glared at her in meetings. They re of river and swam over to the boat, which was waiting for
peatedly criticized what she did and shot down her solu her by a gentle beach.
tions, while offering few constructive ideas of their own.
Ruth remembered this strategy when she was trapped
They proposed tough solutions (such as firing poor per
in a different kind of cesspool: a meeting— the first of
formers) and then lacked the courage to implement their several— where she and a few others were subjected to
macho talk— leaving her to do their dirty work. personal attacks, dirty looks, and excessive blame. The
These pompous table pounders also repeatedly in asshole contagion spread like wildfire, even infecting peo
structed Ruth to take actions and then criticized her for
ple who were usually kind and sensible. Ruth stretched
doing exactly what they asked. Ruth tried to fight back and out her feet in front of her under the table, and then the
130 T he No A sshole R ule Tips for Surviving Nasty People and Workplaces 131
river rafting image came to her. She told herself, “I just got are surrounded by a pack of brutal bullies. First, Ruth
thrown out of the boat by these assholes,” and she real learned to reframe the nastiness that she faced in ways that
ized, “I know how to survive.” helped her becom e emotionally detached from the
Instead of seeing herself as a victim, Ruth started to feel assholes— even downright indifferent to what was hap
strong. She realized that if she didn’t panic and just pening. Second, Ruth didn’t struggle against larger forces
“floated with her feet out in front,” she would come out that she couldn’t control. She focused instead on small
of the mess in one piece and with her energy intact for ways to gain tidbits of control, including helping fellow
whatever lay ahead. And that is exactly what happened. victims cope with the jerks by teaching the victims her
After that meeting, she shared her strategy with a fellow strategy, giving them emotional support, and concentrat
executive who was also being bad-mouthed and bullied— ing on helping the good people in the company. Ruth also
and it worked for that executive, too. Both “targets” be picked small battles she could win and took small steps to
lieved that it was effective because, instead of feeling like undermine the worst of her tormentors. Rather than fight
wimps for floating along, it felt like they were making a ing big wars that she was destined to lose and would
choice to bounce off the boulders that these jerks were leave her exhausted and debased like the first time this
flinging in their paths. It became empowering, and they happened, Ruth was wise enough this time to look for small
sent regular reminders to each other to “just stay feet first.” wins to sustain her confidence and a sense of control.
Both made it through this ordeal with their energy and
confidence intact. Rather than lowering themselves to
Refram ing: Change How You See T hings
catching and flinging back the venom that spewed out of
these creeps, they remained calm and helped others Psychologists have found that if you can’t escape a source
weather the storm as well. They found subtle ways to of stress, changing your mind-set about what is happen
“out” the most toxic of these assholes, to expose the dam ing to you, or reframing, can help reduce the damage
age that they had done to their victims and to the com done to you. Some useful reframing tricks include avoid
pany. And Ruth and her colleagues emerged from the ing self-blame, hoping for the best but expecting the
ordeal with the energy and confidence to seek employ worst, and, my favorite, developing indifference and emo
ment elsewhere. tional detachment. Learning when and how to simply not
Ruth’s “Satan’s Cesspool Strategy” contains two key in give a damn isn’t the kind of advice you hear in most busi
gredients that help people keep their mental and physical ness books, but it can help you make the best of a lousy
health intact— and get their jobs done— even though they situation.
I U Tin N> i A••‘•iI1uii U n.I-' Tips for Surviving Nasty People and Workplaces 133
Mainn Selignian'.s research on “learned optimism” of mine took copious notes during her new employee ori
shows that when people view difficulties as temporary entation classes at Disney University. Her instructors em
anil not their fault, and as something that will not pervade phasized that although 99% of guests are nice, the real test
and ruin the rest of their lives, this frame protects their is when you are encircled by an angry family of eight who
mental and physical health and enhances their resilience. are all hollering at you about all the things that have gone
Noreen Tehrani is a counseling psychologist in the United wrong. The new cast members were instructed to avoid
Kingdom who has extensive experience working with vic getting angry at or blaming the nasty guests. They were
tims of workplace bullying. Tehrani says that when she asked to imagine all the awful experiences the family suf
debriefs victims, common “irrational” thoughts include “I fered that whipped them into such a hostile state (e.g., to
will never get over this,” “I must have done something imagine that their car broke down or they just got soaked
wrong for this to happen to me,” and “Everyone hates me.” in the rain) and to not take their anger personally (as it
Tehrani uses cognitive behavioral therapy (based on isn’t your fault).
Seligman’s work) to help victims view such irrational Cast members were also reminded to see the abuse as
beliefs as hypotheses rather than facts and develop a dif something that wouldn’t last long (because most other
ferent, and more optimistic frame for interpreting encoun guests are nice) and that it “didn’t need to ruin your day”
ters with bullies. Ruth’s coping strategy had elements of because, if they “just keep smiling” and “treat people as
Tehrani’s approach. Think about the differences between VIPs,” it will create friendly interactions with other guests,
how Ruth framed her experience with the assholes during and might even turn the family that is hollering at you
her first versus her second ordeal. Ruth emphasized to me, right now into nicer people. The percentage of nasty peo
“The second time, I realized it wasn’t my fault and I wasn’t ple in Ruth’s company was higher than at a Disney theme
going to blame myself.” And her “Satan’s Cesspool Strat park, but the optimistic style she used has much in com
egy” helped her frame her encounters with the gang of mon with how Disney cast members frame bouts with
assholes as part of a temporary ordeal that she would float bombastic guests.
through, that she would come out of in one piece.
Disney uses a related strategy to train employees Hope for the B est; E xp ect the W orst
(called cast members) in their theme parks to deal with
irate guests. The added twist is that corporate trainers As Seligman’s research and Ruth’s experience show, fram
teach new cast members to avoid blaming either them ing demeaning encounters in an optimistic light can help
selves or their abusive guests. Years ago, a former student sustain your physical and mental health. Yet, especially if
134 T he No A sshole R ule Tips for Surviving Nasty People and Workplaces 135
you are subjected to mean-spirited people for long Brad in the interview. Brad expected Jerrold to be at work
stretches, unbridled optimism can be dangerous to your from 6:30 a .m . to 11:00 p .m ., routinely called him at 3:00
spirit and esteem. Unwavering hope that all those hard a .m . with additional chores, and threw a “fit” when an an
core jerks are going to be transformed into nice people is swering machine (rather than Jerrold) picked up calls. In
a recipe for one reliable disappointment after another. If Jerrold’s interview in Gig, he said the job was “constant
you expect that, one beautiful day, all those assholes will stress” and that Brad “bullies me and calls me stupid and
suddenly apologize to you, begin begging for your for stuff.” Jerrold once interrupted a “closed-door meeting”
giveness, or at least start treating you with respect, you are with a director (to deliver a pack of cigarettes that Brad
setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration. ordered him to get for the director); Brad got so mad that
Psychologists who study emotions propose that happi he came out and started “strangling m e” and yelling, “Are
ness reflects the difference between what you expect ver you stupid?” When Jerrold explained that he was just fol
sus what you actually get in life— so if you keep expecting lowing Brad’s orders, Brad reacted by “whaling on me
good things to happen, but they never do or take a turn with both fists.”
for the worse, you will suffer constant unhappiness. The One way that Jerrold survived such abuse was by low
trick, as we saw from Ruth’s example, is not to expect that ering his expectations. As he put it, “I understand. I mean,
the jerks will change their behavior. Keep your expecta of course, that I wish that Brad would be a little nicer to
tions for their behavior low, but continue to believe that his underlings and not yell. But I also understand that’s
you will be fine after the ordeal is over. That way, you not a realistic wish, because there is too much money at
won’t be surprised or upset by your colleagues’ relentless stake for everybody to act like fucking saints.” Jerrold also
nastiness. And if they do show you unexpected moments endured the abuse by taking delight in the moments when
of kindness, you can enjoy the pleasant surprise without Brad was nice to him and showed respect for his opinion,
suffering disappointment when they return to their wicked and Jerrold looked to the future, to what he might gain
ways. from surviving the ordeal. Jerrold hoped that Brad would
The effectiveness (and dangers) of lowering your ex help him land his own lucrative deals in the future. Jerrold
pectations and accepting that your boss is an abusive jerk also admitted that success may not happen for him and
are illustrated by an interview in Gig with a film develop half-joked, “I’ll probably be here until I have some kind of
ment assistant identified as Jerrold Thomas. His job was to nervous breakdown.”
read and evaluate scripts (and do anything else required) Jerrold’s story shows how having low expectations for
for a hotheaded Hollywood producer, who was called an asshole boss, focusing on the good things, and being
optimistic about how it will all end can help someone en it is hypocritical nonsense to the millions of people who
dure a horrible situation. For better and worse, it helped are trapped in jobs and companies where they feel op
him endure a horrible situation that most sensible people pressed and humiliated— where their goal is to survive
before him had left— Brad had burned through ten assis with their health and self-esteem intact and provide for
tants in four months before Jerrold arrived. their families, not to do great things for a company that
treats them like dirt. Organizations that are filled with em
Develop Indifference and ployees who don't give a damn about their jobs will suf
Em otional D etachm ent fer poor performance, but in my book, if they routinely
demean employees, they get what they deserve.
Passion is an overrated virtue in organizational life, and in
When organizational life takes this ugly turn, linking
difference is an underrated virtue. This conclusion clashes
your self-worth to how people treat you and putting all
with most business books, which ballyhoo the magical
your effort and emotional energy into your workplace is a
powers of exuding deep and authentic passion about your
path to exploitation and self-destruction. Self-preservation
work, organization, colleagues, and customers. Manage
sometimes requires the opposite response: learn to feel
ment guru Tom Peters has been talking about the impor
and practice indifférence and emotional detachment. When your
tance of pride and enthusiasm for your workplace and
job feels like a prolonged personal insult, focus on just
your clients for more than twenty years. Former AES CEO
Dennis Bakke advocates building workplaces where peo going through the motions, on caring as little as possible
ple experience joy and fun at work and are emotionally about the jerks around you, and think about something
fulfilled at all times. Jim Collins’s blockbuster Good to Great more pleasant as often as you can— just get through each
urges leaders to give seats on “the bus” only to “A level day until something changes at your job or something bet
people” who are passionate enough to give “A+ level” ef ter comes along. We all face bad situations that we must
forts. And we saw in chapter 3 how Southwest Airlines endure. None of us has complete mastery over our sur
doesn’t just try to avoid hiring jerks; they hire and brain roundings, and we all get stuck with oppressive jerks
wash people to exude a zeal for their coworkers, cus whom we can’t change. There are times when the best
tomers, and company. thing for your mental health is to not give a damn about
All this talk about passion, commitment, and identifica your job, company, and, especially, all those nasty people.
tion with an organization is absolutely correct i f you are in As Walt Whitman said, “Dismiss whatever insults your
a good job and are treated with dignity and respect. But soul.” I think that is a lovely, compact summary of the
virtues of developing indifference to demeaning jerks in touching her soul, and she was in a different and better
the workplace, or anywhere else for that matter. world.
Some researchers have suggested that “detached con
cern” can help employees avoid the “burnout” that results Look for Small W ins
from constant exposure to other people’s problems.
Christina Maslach defines detached concern as “the med The ability to gain control over little, seemingly trivial
ical profession’s ideal of blending compassion with emo things is a hallmark of people who survive horrible and
tional distance . . . and a more detached objectivity.” Yet uncontrollable events— including natural disasters or
Maslach has found that people in medicine and other being a castaway, a hostage, or a prisoner of war. Vice Ad
helping professions have trouble sustaining this balance: miral Jam es Stockdale was held prisoner by the North
either people genuinely care about others (and risk Vietnamese from 1965 to 1973. He found a common
thread among prisoners like him who survived the ordeal:
burnout), or they put on an act (often a bad act) because,
“We discovered that when one is alone in a cell and sees
after all, they don’t really care. The implication is that you
the door open only once or twice a day for a bowl of
can feel either attached concern or detached indifference,
soup, he realizes that after a period of isolation and dark
but caring and passion without emotional attachment is
ness, he has to build some sort of ritual into his life if he
difficult or impossible.
wants to avoid becoming an animal. . . . For most of us,
If you can’t bring yourself to care about good col
ritual was built around prayer, exercise, and clandestine
leagues, clients, and organizations, it is a sign that you
communication.” Stockdale and other prisoners survived
need a break, to learn a new skill, or perhaps to move to
by finding hundreds of tiny actions they could take each
a different job. But detached indifference, simply not giv day to take a modicum of control over their lives— like
ing a damn, might be the best that you can do to survive saying a prayer, doing some push-ups, or trying to
a workplace that subjects you to relentless humiliation. develop new ways to get a secret message to other
Think about what Ruth did as she imagined herself float prisoners.
ing through the rapids, feet first, as her colleagues heaped Rigorous research confirms that the feeling of control—
on the abuse. Ruth was physically sitting at the table. In perceiving that you have the power to shape even small
her mind, however, she wasn’t attached to her nasty and aspects of your fate— can have a huge impact on human
demeaning colleagues, their opinions didn’t affect her well-being. Consider a compelling study by Ellen Langer
self-worth, their vile expressions and words weren’t and Judith Rodin with elderly patients in nursing homes.
Tips for Surviving Nasty People and Workplaces 141
massive, magic solutions to ending world hunger or clean

One group of patients attended a lecture about all the
things that the staff could do for them; they were given a ing up the environment, but progress can be made if
houseplant and told the staff would care for it, and they many people take many small, positive steps in the right
were told which night to attend movies. Patients in the direction. Another advantage is that while efforts to win a
other (quite similar) groups from the same nursing homes big victory may provoke a more powerful opponent to
were given a “pep talk” about the importance of taking spring into action against you, an opponent may think it
is too much trouble to undermine or overturn any given
control over their lives, asked to take care of the new
houseplant in their rooms, and given choices about which tiny victory, or may not even notice that it has happened.
nights to attend movies, when they had meals, when their Yet, over time, a series of small wins may add up to a big
win against that opponent.
phones rang, and how their furniture was arranged. These
The implication for surviving a workplace where ass
small differences had big effects. Not only did those pa
holes abound is that if you can’t escape completely, start
tients with greater control engage in more recreational ac
looking for small ways to seize bits of control. Tiy to find
tivities and have more positive attitudes toward life in
little steps you can take to reduce your exposure to their
general, an eighteen-month follow-up found that they had
a 50% lower death rate. venom. Build pockets of safety and support, as the act of
helping others alone is good for your mental health. If you
Along similar lines, psychologist Karl Weick contends
can’t win the big war against the creeps, start looking for
that aiming for “small wins” is often a more comforting
small battles that you can win, as the sense of control you
and ultimately effective strategy than aiming for “big
gain will sustain your spirit. And if one minor victoiy after
wins.” Weick shows that tiying to solve a big problem all
another begins to pile up, who knows— you might start a
at once can be so daunting and upsetting that it causes
movement in your organization where the pro asshole
people to feel anxious and powerless in the face of an im
rule is slowly but surely replaced by the no asshole rule.
possible challenge. The advantage of taking small actions
is that they bring about noticeable and typically success
ful changes. As we saw with the tiny changes made by Lim it Your Exposure
Vice Admiral Stockdale and the nursing home patients, the
This tactic dampens the damage that assholes do in two
feeling that one is in control can reduce feelings o f hopelessness and
ways. First, by limiting how often and intensely you face
helplessness.
their dirty looks and demeaning words, you suffer less di
Weick also argues that most big problems can be
rect damage. Second, as w e’ve seen, anything that gains
solved only one small step at a time. There are no instant,
you even tiny bits of control can protect your sense of

she didn’t have to see the nasty looks on their faces, she
self, spirit, and physical health. My first suggestion is to
found it easier to detach emotionally, and there were
find places and times where and when you can hide from times when she blanked out a jerk that was making her
your tormentors. Meet with them as rarely as possible.
stomach turn by hitting the mute button, tuning out her
Schedule meetings that will be short— in particular, recent
colleagues’ nastiness, and devoting her attention to help
research suggests that you might schedule meetings in
ing the good people in the company instead. Be warned,
rooms or places with no chairs. An experiment by Allen C.
however, that when groups work mostly through e-mail or
Bluedorn and his colleagues at the University of
conference calls (rather than face-to-face), they tend to
Missouri-Columbia compared the decisions made by fifty-
fight more and trust each other less. Apparently, this hap
six groups where members stood up during short (ten- to
pens because people don’t get the complete picture that
twenty-minute) meetings to those of fifty-five groups
comes with “being there,” as e-mail and phone calls pro
where members sat down during such meetings. Stand-up
vide little information about the demands that people face
groups took 34% less time to make the assigned decision,
and the physical setting they work in, and can’t convey
and the quality of their decisions was just as good as those
things like the facial expressions, verbal intonations, pos
made by sit-down groups.
ture, and “group mood.” So group members develop in
In addition to the time you can save your organization,
complete, and often overly negative, opinions of one
if you are scheduling a meeting with known assholes,
another.
finding a place with no chairs can apparently cut your ex
My Stanford colleagues Pamela Hinds and Diane Bai
posure time by 34%. A related implication is that setting
ley show that conflict— especially “disagreements charac
aside a few conference rooms with “stand-up tables” and
terized by anger and hostility”— is more likely and trust is
no chairs can help people in your company with both
lower when groups do work that is “mediated” by infor
time management and asshole management— and save
mation technologies than in face-to-face meetings. If you
some money on chairs.
are in a group that works mostly via the Web and the
You can also use information technologies to help
phone, and the group seems like a bunch of assholes, the
buffer you from a jerk or a bunch of jerks. For example,
technology may be fueling the problem rather than simply protecting
in addition to “Satan’s Cesspool Strategy,” described at the
you from it—so you might spend time meeting in person to
start of this chapter, Ruth buffered herself from that swarm
understand the pressures people face and develop greater
of assholes by attending a couple of meetings via a tele
trust. Yet you might be like Ruth and already have had ex
phone conference call rather than in person. That way,
tensive experience in face-to-face meetings where people
proved they are assholes. If so, then e-mail, telephone not successful; as of this writing, he still has the job.) Sim
conferences, and the almighty mute button might help ilarly, an executive’s wife wrote to me how her husband
protect you from the full sting of their wrath. struggled to survive his abusive CEO: “The senior people
just below him all huddle together in one another’s offices
trying to give one another support, but they’re all very
Build Pockets o f Safety, conscious o f the fact that any one of them could decide to
Su pport, and Sanity throw in the towel and then the stress would be redistrib
uted on those who are left.” In some organizations where
Find and build some pockets where you can hide from
bullies rule the roost, their victims are so afraid of reprisals
assholes and hang out with decent people. Doing so can
that networks and conversations among victims are
reduce your exposure to jerks, give you a breather, and
treated as secret and forbidden acts— but as worth the risk
provide a bit of control over when and how these creeps
because the stress is severe.
do their dirty work to you. These pockets can be build
These pockets can be found in even tiny moments,
ings or rooms. For example, the nurses that Daniel Deni
son and I studied felt besieged by surgeons who were such as during brief interactions with supportive cus
insensitive and demeaning, especially the infamous “Dr. tomers or clients. A few months ago, I was standing in line
Gooser,” who we witnessed chasing, teasing, and grab at a Longs drugstore in Moraga, California. Our cashier
bing the female nurses. They took refuge in the nurses’ was a teenager I’ll call Chris. As he was serving the cus
lounge, where doctors weren’t allowed to tread. It was a tomer in front of me, the store phone started ringing, but
safe place to tell stories, complain, and give and receive he concentrated on helping his customer instead of an
emotional support; the drop in tension that most nurses swering it. After about a minute, the cashier in the next
experienced the second they entered the lounge was checkout stand turned around, gave him a look of unbri
palpable. dled hate, and bellowed, 11Chris, what is wrong with you? Cant
Another way to find a safe pocket is to join or form a you hear that thing? Pick it up!" Chris turned bright red and
secret social network of victims. A group of secretaries in looked as if he was going to cry. The woman in front of
a university formed a prayer group that met regularly for me looked him in the eye and said in a loud voice, “Chris,
several months to help shorten the tenure of their cold- just ignore her; I think you are doing a great jo b .” Chris
hearted and clueless dean. They prayed that something looked massively relieved, and I could see him calm
would happen to him that was not too bad, but bad down.
enough to hasten his departure! (Alas, their efforts were Supportive colleagues, and thoughtful customers like
this one, can help buffer you against the stress of working framed or to strategies for gaining small wins— let alone
with a slew of assholes. As Ruth did with her “Satan’s to organizational strategies for implementing a no asshole
Cesspool Strategy,” such conversations can be especially rule.
constructive when victims exchange coping strategies that I remember asking one nurse how the sessions were
help them survive the onslaught of ogres. But talking with going, and she told me, “I walk into those sessions in a
other people about your problems isn’t a panacea; in fact, good mood, but always leave depressed. They are mak
it can be a double-edged sword. Loraleigh Keashly and ing me hate my job; all we do is bitch, bitch, bitch!” Re
Steve Harvey conclude that initial studies have found that member that emotions are extremely contagious, so if you
emotionally abused employees who seek emotional sup are going to create places, networks, and regular meetings
port from friends, family, coworkers, and supervisors to talk about how to cope with the assholes you work
enjoy only small positive effects on their mental health. with, focus on ways to reframe events that reduce stress
Keashly and Harvey argue that social support has weak ef and on means for gaining small wins— not on creating
fects because victims mostly talk to people who don’t arenas that produce and spread feelings of despair.
have the power to stop the bullies and abusers.
Worse yet, I’ve found that conversations, gossip ses
Fight and W in the Right Small Battles
sions, and even therapy sessions led by professionals
sometimes do more harm than good. These gatherings Using a small-wins strategy can enhance your feelings of
sometimes degenerate into “bitch sessions” where victims control, make things around you a little better, and
complain bitterly about how bad things are and how pow maybe— just maybe— chip away at the vile and vicious
erless they are to stop it. I saw this happen at a hospital culture in which you are trapped and start making it a bit
where external consultants were leading a series of work better.
shops on job burnout. These poorly managed sessions This approach requires constantly looking out for small
started out with statistics about how badly nurses were but sweet victories that you can win, a tactic used by
abused by doctors and how many other sources of stress many of the more than 120 American workers interviewed
they faced— bad management decisions, difficult patients in Gig, especially those who dealt with belligerent people.
and families, and so on. This bad news sparked complain Some of these workers looked for moments when they
ing and feelings of helplessness and hopelessness among could gently teach the angry people around them to calm
the nurses, in large part because facilitators did not steer down rather than escalate their anger. Prison guard
the conversation to ways these problems could be re Franklin Roberts said, when dealing with inmates, “I never
yell at them. They get mad at me and yell their heads for a while.” The spiteful passenger apologized, and as
off. . . . They go wild. But you don’t yell at them. You Perez said, “I kind of opened her eyes.” A small win like
never want to lose face in front of these guys. If they start that not only gives the target of abuse a sense of control
yelling, you start whispering. You just don’t play their and makes things just a little better for a few minutes; if
game.” As Roberts pointed out, although inmates are dan used consistently and skillfully over time, on one jerk after
gerous and will still holler at you, by staying calm, a another, the series of small wins can chip away at the
prison guard slowly gains their respect, reduces the risk source of hostility— in this case, rude passengers.
he or she will be attacked, and gets hollered at and threat De-escalation and reeducation are relatively low-risk
ened less as a result. strategies because, although they may fail, chances are
Although most of us don’t guard prisoners for a living, low that such turn-the-other-cheek approaches will pro
Roberts’s method of relentlessly responding to irate peo voke jerks to crank up the wrath they are spewing out at
ple with calmness and respect can be used with assholes you. Riskier small-wins strategies entail confronting an
in any workplace, if, through one conversation at a time, asshole head-on, exacting revenge, putting the asshole in
you can teach them that you aren’t going to catch their his or her place, and “outing” and humiliating the jerk. Be
asshole poisoning, they may catch your calm and kind warned, however, that such approaches are dangerous:
ness and treat you with respect— even if they don’t offer aggression often provokes more aggression, so you risk
the same courtesy to others. sparking a vicious cycle of insults and personal attacks.
Gentle reeducation is a related strategy for small wins And doing battle with a person who has greater power
during interactions with assholes. The idea is to gently ex can be hazardous to your mental health and job security
plain to your tormentor the demands you face or other Yet if you study your oppressor, pick the right moment,
reasons why you don’t really deserve their wrath. Gig and are willing to take a chance, you might be rewarded
shows how Los Angeles bus driver Lupita Perez used this with some meaningful little victories.
tactic to calm irate “civilians.” Take the passenger who For starters, bide your time until just the right moment
yelled at her, “You get paid to do nothing. You don’t do comes to pay back your local jerk for all the abuse you’ve
nothing but drive.” Perez calmly explained, “Not only do endured, and exact some sweet revenge. My favorite pay
I have to take care of you and everyone else on the bus, back story came from a producer of a Boston radio sta
but I have to take care of the bus, myself, people crossing tion, who was working with me to schedule a segment on
the street, people driving their cars. . . . Madam, I’ll gladly “workplace weasels.” She told me about the worst boss
let you take this shift and, hey, I’ll sit back there and relax she ever had. The guy made “one hundred times more
1 HI I T in' N o A h siiu u ; R ule Tips for Surviving Nasty People and Workplaces 151
than I did” and was constantly “putting me down and vi new drivers to “save one for Christmas time, because that
olating my personal space.” In particular, her boss often is when all the jerks are out, and you will want to get back
ate her food, just walking up to her desk and eating part at one o f them.”
of her lunch or any snacks that she had. She felt invaded Bus drivers work in settings where there are many hos
and ripped off, and even though she asked him to stop, tile interactions with motorists, and drivers have limited
he kept doing it. One day she made some chocolates out control over their tormentors. Although they only occa
of Ex-Lax, the chocolate-flavored laxative, and left them sionally exact revenge from the constant parade o f jerks
out on her desk. Sure enough, her boss came by and de that they face, the feeling that they have the power to do
voured them without asking permission. When she told it— the almighty perception of control— is essential for
him what was in them, “he was not happy.” This act of re sustaining their mental health. Sue won numerous safety
venge is not only funny, it is inspired because she picked awards and had few accidents during the years she was a
a way to get back at him when he had no rational de bus driver, but as she recently wrote to me, “The delicious
fense. It was his just punishment for stealing her food, and thought that you could punish the assholes was an impor
he knew it. tant psychological safety valve. The thought alone was
Another revenge tactic was explained to me years ago sufficient to help you manage your anger.”
by my friend Sue Schurman, who is now president of the The final tactic for battling back is even riskier then ex
National Labor College in Silver Spring, Maryland. Sue acting revenge, but if it works, it is extremely effective:
worked for several years as a bus driver in the 1970s in call their bluff. Some oppressors are all puffed up with
Ann Arbor, Michigan, where she eventually became a tough talk, but after you watch them for a while, you may
union leader. Even in a relatively small city like Ann realize that they are sheep in wolves’ clothing (much like
Arbor, bus drivers constantly tangle with other drivers some schoolyard bullies I faced in my youth). One Har
who are aggressive and sometimes hostile. Sue told me vard Business Review reader described to me how she called
that when she took rookie drivers under her wing, one of a bully’s bluff:
the first things she taught them was that a skilled driver
“never had an accident that is an accident,” and instead, I do want to add that these bullies usually pick on
accidents should be “punishments” that bus drivers inten those who will not stand up for themselves. I once
tionally inflict on “crazy drivers.” She went on to say that worked for a social service organization that had a
city bus drivers were permitted three accidents a year “major” bully . . . pun intended. He was a retired army
without facing disciplinary action, and that she advised major, and he had a knack for peeling the skin off
those who showed any form of weakness, insecurity, victories will help you feel in control and just might help
or indecisiveness. He tried it on me a few times. One make things a bit better, and if you keep chipping away
day, I’d had just enough aggravation that when he and others join your quest, things just might get a lot bet
started on me, I just gave him a steely look and said ter for everyone in the long haul. I wrote this chapter b e
that if he ever spoke to me that way again, I’d take cause many people really are trapped with a bunch of
him out at the knees, and that I was not paid to nor assholes and, for financial or personal reasons, have no
would I stand for any form of abuse, insults or shit immediate escape route. And certainly, we all need to en
from him ever again. I never had to again. He got the dure occasional encounters with assholes.
message. But there is a dark side to these ideas. They might pro
vide just enough protection (or, worse yet, fuel just
This HBR reader had a lot of courage. A less risky strat enough delusion of protection) to stop people from bail
egy is to watch what happens when others get the ing out of relentlessly demeaning situations— even when
courage to stand up to the local asshole. If, as in this case, they have exit options. I am, for example, disturbed by
the blowhard backs down, it means that your chances of Jerrold’s reports in Gig about the constant abuse that he
a small win are higher— and if you and your oppressed took from Brad, the executive producer he fawned over. I
colleagues gang up on the bully, he or she may change worry that Jerrold’s astounding hardiness and resilience
or, better yet, leave for good. sent the wrong message to Brad: that insulting and even
assaulting his underlings was acceptable because he was
T h e U pshot: You M ight Be Able to Take such a rich and powerful person doing such important
It, but Are You Really Trapped? things. Jerrold joked that he will probably work for Brad
until he has a nervous breakdown— a sad sentiment be
If you are stuck working with an asshole or, worse yet, cause it rings so true. The unfortunate implication is that
hoards of them, there are ways to limit the damage. You if you are like Jerrold, and perhaps too skilled at lowering
can help protect your body and mind by reframing the your expectations and taking comfort in the smallest of
abuse as something that isn’t your fault and won’t magi wins, it may keep you from escaping an abusive boss or
cally disappear— and by learning not to give a damn organization.
about those jerks and their vile organization. You might On the other hand, perhaps Jerrold wouldn’t mind
also look for small wins: seek and fight those little battles catching asshole poisoning if it would help him become
that you have a good chance of winning. Those modest just as rich, powerful, and famous as his boss. I wish that
iSi 'I’m: No Asshole Rule
being all asshole all the time was bad in every way— I de
test them and am ashamed of (nearly all) the times that
I’ve acted like one. Unfortunately, although assholes do
far more harm than good, the next chapter shows that
there is an upside to acting like an asshole. C h apter 6
The Virtues of Assholes
I didn’t want to write this chapter. But some of my clos

est and smartest friends kept arguing that it was a neces
sary evil. They convinced me that the book would be
naive and incomplete if I didn’t talk about the upside of
acting like an asshole. And they kept raising compelling
examples of people who seem to succeed because they are
certified assholes.
Exhibit one was Steve Jobs, who is CEO of Apple, for
mer CEO o f Pixar, and the largest shareholder in Disney
(after selling Pixar to Disney). It sometimes seems as if his
full name is “Steve Jobs, that asshole.” I put “Steve Jo b s”
and “asshole” in Google and got 89,400 matches. I asked
some insiders to nominate the most (allegedly) demean
ing leaders in entertainment and high technology to get
some “comparison assholes,” because Jo b s’s companies
are in these industries. Michael Eisner, former Disney
156 T he N o A sshole R ule The Virtues of Assholes 157
CEO, was mentioned constantly, yet “Michael Eisner” and pursuit o f perfection and relentless desire to make beauti
“asshole” produced a relatively paltry 11,100 Google hits. ful things. Even those who despise him most ask me, “So,
And in high technology, Oracle’s infamously difficult doesn’t Jobs prove that some assholes are worth the
“Larry Ellison” and “asshole” generated a mere 750 hits. trouble?”
The scariest— and most entertaining— stories come di For me, it wouldn’t be worth the trouble to work with
rectly from people who have worked for Jobs. Wired mag Jobs or someone like him. But I’ve becom e convinced that
azine summed up a reunion of 1,300 ex-Apple employees it’s naive to assume that assholes always do more harm
in 2003 by saying that even though Jobs didn’t attend, he than good. So this chapter is devoted to the upside o f ass
was the main topic of conversation, especially tales of his holes. Beware, however, that these ideas are volatile and
tirades and tantrums. In one attendee’s words, “Everyone dangerous: they provide the ammunition that deluded and
has their Steve-Jobs-the-asshole story.” As a faculty mem destructive jerks can use to justify, and even glorify, their
ber at the Stanford School o f Engineering, which is in penchant for demeaning others.
Apple’s backyard, I’ve heard such stories over the years
myself. Take the manager I spoke with (just days after it
T h e V irtues o f Nastiness
happened) about a tantrum that Jo b s had at his now-
defunct computer company NeXT. He told me that Jobs Gaining Personal Power and Stature
started screaming, crying, and making threats because the
color of the new NeXT vans did not precisely match the Numerous studies show that we expect powerful peo
ple to spew out anger at powerless people, and there is
shade of white that the manufacturing facility was painted.
To appease Jobs, NeXT manufacturing managers had to also evidence that such nastiness can help people gain
spend precious hours (and thousands of dollars) getting more influence over others. Even if we don’t realize it, we
the vans repainted in exactly the same shade. expect powerful people to express pride and take credit
Yet the people who tell these stories argue that he is when things go well, and to convey anger and blame
among the most imaginative, decisive, and persuasive toward underlings when things got wrong. People at the
people they’ve ever met. They admit that he inspires as bottom of the pecking order struggle to maintain a toe
tounding effort and creativity from his people. And all hold in their precarious positions by expressing warmth,
suggest— although his tantrums and nasty critiques have flattery, deference, and, when things go wrong, apologies
driven the people around him crazy and driven many to higher-status members.
away— they are a crucial part of his success, especially his One reason that alpha males and females act like
IS,S T he N o A sshole R ule The Virtues of Assholes 159
bullies is we let them, and actually subtly encourage them stein, former Disney CEO Michael Eisner, and, of course,
to, get away with it. Studies by Stanford’s Lara Tiedens Apple CEO Steve Job s gained and expanded their power
and her colleagues suggest it is often a “kiss-up, slap- through the strategic use of nasty stares, put-downs, and
down world,” and strategic use of anger and blame can bullying. Kramer explains how Johnson studied other
help push yourself up the hierarchy and knock others people closely and used strategic insults and temper
down. Tiedens demonstrated this in an experiment in tantrums that were fine-tuned to play on the insecurities
which, during U.S. Senate debates about whether Bill of fellow politicians. Kramer also reports that Fiorina was
Clinton should be impeached, she showed recent film admired and feared for her ability to “stare down
clips of the then-President. In one clip, Clinton expressed opponents.”
anger about the Monica Lewinsky sex scandal, and in the Kramer’s article “The Great Intimidators” portrays Hol
other, he expressed sadness. Subjects who viewed an lywood’s Harvey Weinstein as the definitive “rough, loud,
angry Clinton were more likely to say he should be al in-your-face" intimidator, the master of using “contrived
lowed to remain in office and not be severely punished,
anger” to wield “porcupine power.” A 2002 New Yorker
and that “the impeachment matter should be dropped”—
story by Ken Auletta described the time that Weinstein
in short, he should be allowed to keep his power. Tiedens
was upset because rumors were flying that he had started
concludes from this experiment, and from a host of re
a vicious whispering campaign to discredit A Beautiful
lated studies, that although angry people are seen as
M ind—a Universal Pictures film that was competing with
“unlikable and cold,” strategic use of anger— outbursts,
his In the Bedroom for an Academy Award. Weinstein be
snarling expressions, staring straight ahead, and “strong
lieved that Universal chair Stacey Snider was spreading
hand gestures” like pointing and jabbing— “creates the im
these rumors about him. So Weinstein cornered Snider at
pression that the expresser is competent.”
a party and went on the attack. Auletta reported, “To the
More broadly, leadership research shows that subtle
petite Snider, he was a fearsome sight— his eyes dark and
nasty moves like glaring and condescending comments,
explicit moves like insults or put-downs, and even phys glowering, his fleshy face unshaved, his belly jutting for
ical intimidation can be effective paths to power. Rod ward half a foot or so ahead of his body. He jabbed a fin
Kramer, another Stanford colleague, showed in Harvard ger at Snider’s face and screamed, ‘You’re going to go
Business Review how “intimidators” including former U.S. down for this!’ ” Although Weinstein eventually apologized
President Lyndon B. Johnson, former Hewlett-Packard to Snider, Kramer asserts that such calculated sound and
CEO Carly Fiorina, former Miramax head Harvey Wein fuiy served Weinstein well throughout his Hollywood
160 T he No A sshole R ule The Virtues of Assholes l6 l
career, producing films that have garnered over 50 Acad “Brilliant but Cruel.” She did controlled experiments with
emy Awards. book reviews; some reviews were nasty and others were
Kramer argues that these intimidators aren’t really bul nice. Amabile found that negative and unkind people
lies because they use intimidation strategically rather than were seen as less likable but more intelligent, competent,
to just make themselves feel good. I disagree. If a person and expert than those who expressed the same messages
twice your size cornered you, screamed at you, and made in kinder and gentler ways.
threatening gestures, every “expert” I know would say
you were bullied, and I’d say that you had encountered Intimidating and Vanquishing Rivals
an asshole. No matter what you call such people, the abil As Rod Kramer shows, threats and intimidation can be
ity to act like an intimidating jerk— or at least to endure used for gaining and sustaining a position at the top of the
the onslaught of fellow jerks— appears to be an essential heap. Just like those alpha male baboons— which glared
survival skill in many corners of Hollywood. at, bit, and pushed their fellow primates to maintain their
Kramer focuses on the power of intimidation. But there standing— that were discussed in chapter 3, people bully
is also evidence that being a nasty jerk can help you get others to gain and sustain status. The use and virtues of
ahead in another way: by making you seem smarter than others. intimidation to gain power over rivals is most obvious
Jeff Pfeffer and I saw this style of power grabbing in ac when physical threats are routine practices. If you’ve seen
tion a few years back when we studied a large financial The Godfather or The Sopranos, you’ve watched mob bosses
institution where people seemed to get ahead for saying and organizations sustain dominance through threats and
smart things rather than doing smart things. Putting down violence. My father learned that these aren’t just fictional
other people and their ideas— what they might call “de stories when he and a business partner tried to go into the
structive confrontation” at Intel— was part of the status vending-machine business in Chicago during the early
game at the company. These attacks were often done in 1960s. They tried to place vending machines in bowling
front of senior management, as junior executives used bit alleys, restaurants, and other places that dispensed candy
ing criticisms (which sometimes bordered on personal at and cigarettes. Vending machines were controlled by or
tacks) to move their targets down the pecking order and ganized crime at the time, as it was a cash business that
to move themselves up. produced revenues that were difficult to trace. My father
These nasty status games might be explained by re and his partner were warned that if they didn’t get out of
search on the effect uncovered by Harvard’s Teresa Ama- the business, they would be harmed. My dad went back
bile in her Journal o f Experimental Social Psychology article to his old job delivering coffee. But his partner remained
102 Tin- No A sshole R ule The Virtues o f Assholes 163
defiant and insisted that he wasn’t afraid of the mob— Steve Jobs is, once again, the master. Andy Hertzfeld, a
until someone broke his legs and he decided that, after all, core member of the original Macintosh design team, re
it was a good idea to get out of the vending-machine counted a message that Jobs left for Adam Osborne, the
business. CEO of rival Osborne Computer Corp. in 1981. As
Intimidation is also part of the game in sports, espe Hertzfeld reported in his book Revolution in the Valley.
cially in football, boxing, and rugby, where winning en
tails gaining physical dominance over your opponents. “Hi, this is Steve Jobs. I’d like to speak with Adam
But it also helps people succeed in sports where physical Osborne.”
domination is less explicit, such as baseball. The great The secretary informed Steve that Mr. Osborne was
Hall of Fame outfielder Ty Cobb was perhaps most fa not available and would not be back in the office until
mous for bullying his way to dominance. Ernest Heming tomorrow morning. She asked Steve if he would like
way put it harshly but fairly: “Ty Cobb, the greatest of all to leave a message.
ballplayers— and an absolute shit.” He played from 1904 “Yes,” Steve replied. He paused for a second, “Here’s
to 1928 and had more than four thousand hits and a life my message. Tell Adam he’s an asshole.”
time batting average of .367. Cobb was infamous for hurt There was a long delay, as the secretary tried to fig
ing opponents and getting in fights with teammates, ure out how to respond. Steve continued, “One more
opponents, and virtually anyone else he encountered on thing. I hear that Adam’s curious about the Macintosh.
and off the field. Biographer Al Stump described Cobb’s Tell him that the Macintosh is so good that he’s prob
interpretation of the base-running rules as “Give me room ably going to buy a few for his children even though
or get hurt.” Stump explained what this interpretation it put his company out of business!”
meant for a player named Bill Barbeau who tried to stop
Cobb from sliding into second base: “A hurtling body, Jo b s’s prediction came true. Osborne Computer was
spikes extended, had hit Barbeau at the knees, sending shuttered a couple of years later.
him backward, stunned. Torn from his grip, the ball had
M otivating Fear-D riven Performance
rolled into the outfield. Cobb was safe. Barbeau’s leg had
been cut, and the game-winning run had scored.” and Perfectionism
Of course, most people don’t work for the mob or as Fear can be a powerful motivator, driving people to
professional athletes. But many of us do work in the cor avoid the sting of punishment and public humiliation. A
porate world and have to deal with intimidating people. huge body of psychological research shows that rewards
164 T he N o A sshole R ule The Virtues o f Assholes 165
are more effective motivators than punishments, and there assholes are rarely nasty all the time; their followers are
is substantial evidence that people and teams learn and driven by both the “sticks” o f punishment and humiliation
perform much more effectively when their workplace isn’t and the “carrots” of hard-won warmth and recognition.
riddled with fear. Yet there is also psychological research Fve already documented Bob Knight’s history of out
going back at least to famous psychologist B.F. Skinner bursts, but he was also routinely warm and encouraging
that, although less effective than rewards, people will to his players as well. The well-documented psychologi
work to avoid punishment. And famous sociologists in cal “contrast effect” helps explains why leaders such as
cluding Erving Goffman have also shown that people will Knight who have a history of demeaning and belittling
go to great lengths to avoid public embarrassment. their underlings— punctuated by warmth and praise— can
Numerous famous leaders have instilled the fear of generate much effort and loyalty.
punishment, scorn, and humiliation in their subordinates, Related research on “good cop, bad cop” effects shows
and apparently have used it to good effect. Rod Kramer that criminals are more likely to confess their crimes and
described how the famously tough U.S. Army General debtors are more likely to pay their bills when they are ex
George S. Patton used to practice his scowling “general’s posed to both a nice and a nasty “influence agent,” or a
face” in front o f the mirror because “he wanted it to be as single person who alternates between being nasty and
terrifying and menacing a countenance as he could possi nice. The contrast makes the threat of the bad cop seem
bly make it.” Patton’s soldiers feared his wrath, but also more menacing (and thus the punishment and humiliation
fought hard for him because they admired his courage more pronounced) and the good cop seem warmer and
and did not want to let him down. Kramer also reports more reasonable (and thus someone worth pleasing) than
that Nobel Prize winner Jam es Watson (who discovered when just a good cop or bad cop is encountered. In much
the structure of DNA with Francis Crick) “radiated con the same way, the motivational effects of Knight’s nasti
tempt in all directions,” often “shunned ordinary courtesy ness and niceness on his players were likely magnified,
and polite conversation,” and could be “brutal.” Watson driving them to do everything in their power to avoid his
intimidated his scientific rivals, whom he saw as unimag painful wrath and to bask in his sweet praise. Kramer con
inative “stamp collectors,” but inspired many of his stu cludes that a similar motivation drives people who work
dents to become famous scientists because— as one put with Steve Jobs to come as close to perfection as they can-.
it— he “always introduced the right mixture of fear and Jobs both conveys massive confidence in his people (and
paranoia so [that] we worked our asses off.” himself) and expresses massive unhappiness when they
Leaders, politicians, and scientists who are effective fail. As one former Pixar employee put it, “You just
dreaded letting him down. He believed in you so strongly there are times when getting nasty, even having a strate
that the thought of disappointing him just killed you.” gic temper tantrum, seems to be the only method that gets
through to people. In the 1990s, I studied telephone bill
Bringing Unfair, Clueless, and Lazy People collectors. I spent hours listening in on their collection
to T heir Senses calls, went through a week of training, and spent about
twenty hours making my own collection calls to people
Unfortunately, even if you aren’t a certified asshole,
who were late with their Visa and MasterCard payments.
and even if you despise people who deserve the label and
In the collection organization I studied, we were taught
avoid them like the plague, there are times when it is use
that there was no reason to “slam” hostile debtors, as they
ful to play the part of a temporary asshole to get some
were already upset enough. The challenge was to calm
thing that you need or deserve. Polite people who never
them down and to turn their focus to paying the bill. In
complain or argue are delightful to be around, but these
contrast, we were taught to “slam” debtors who seemed
doormats are often victims of nasty, indifferent, or greedy
too calm or indifferent about their late bills. Skilled collec
people. There is much evidence that the squeaky wheel
tors used a harsh and tense tone with debtors who didn’t
does get the grease.
seem “worried enough” about their overdue bills; the col
To illustrate, if you don’t complain to your health in
lectors made (legitimate) threats like, “Do you ever want
surance company when they initially decline to pay a to buy a house? Do you ever want to buy a car? If you do,
medical bill, the odds are virtually zero that they will re you better pay up right now.” The best bill collectors were
verse the decision and send you a check later. But com nasty to the nice, relaxed, or seemingly indifferent
plaining apparently pays off. A recent study by debtors— because it helped create a sense of “alarm” and
researchers at the RAND Corporation and Harvard Uni a “feeling of urgency.”
versity found that of 405 appeals by patients to U.S. in There are also times when people are so clueless, in
surance companies that denied payment for emergency competent, or both that the only way to create sufficient
room visits, 90% were eventually paid, for an average alarm is to throw a strategic temper tantrum. Even those
payout of about $1,100. of us who don’t consider the temper tantrum a core occu
Certainly, for both your own mental health and the pational skill sometimes pitch a fit when nothing else is
mental health of your targets, all complaints and other ef working. Consider an experience that my family and I had
forts to get what you deserve and to bring people to their with Air France in the summer of 2005 when we were
senses ought to be made, for starters, in a polite way. But traveling home from Florence, Italy, and had a stopover in
1
168 T he N o A sshole R ule________________________________________ The Virtues o f Assholes 169
Paris. When we arrived at the airport in Florence, the Air idea what else I could have done to get those indifferent
France agent told us that she could not give us boarding and clueless Air France employees to pay attention to our
passes for our Paris-San Francisco leg (we were later told plight— they were treating us as if we were completely in
by another Air France employee that she could have, but visible until I started hollering.
was “probably just too lazy”). Our flight to Paris was so
late that we had less than thirty minutes to make the long T h e U pshot: Som e Virtues Are R eal, But
trek through the massive airport, make it through multiple Many Are Dangerous D elusions
security checkpoints, and get five boarding passes.
We made it to the transfer desk with about fifteen min The unfortunate truth is that, yes, there are occasional ad
utes to go. There were perhaps eight employees behind vantages to acting like an asshole. Unleashing your inner
the desk; there was no line, only employees talking to one jerk can help you gain power, vanquish rivals, motivate
another. After spending several minutes politely trying to fear-fueled performance, and bring clueless and incompe
get them to pay attention to our plight, I turned to my wife tent people to their senses. And, yes, returning the favor
and kids and said, “I have to start yelling at them; I have to another asshole can feel good and even enhance your
no choice, and I will stop as soon as they start helping.” mental health.
So I just started hollering about how late we were, how There are other upsides, too. Another justification for
badly we had already been treated, and that they needed acting like an asshole is that if you want to be left alone,
to help us right now. I was really loud and nasty. When either because you have work to do or are just sick of
they actually started paying attention to the problem, they dealing with other people, glaring, growling, and other
realized how late we were and started scrambling. As forms of grumpiness are splendid means for chasing un
soon as they started helping, I shut up, backed away from wanted intruders away. Over the years, I’ve noticed that
the counter, and apologized to my kids— explaining to Stanford faculty members who snarl at visitors seem to
them again that it was a strategic temper tantrum. My have no trouble working without interruption in their of
calm, nice, and rational wife then dealt with them (so fices, while those who greet every unscheduled visitor
there was a bit of good cop, bad cop, too). They pro with a smile seem to face a constant flow of students, staff
duced the boarding passes quickly, pointed at the gate, members, and colleagues. The “good cop, bad cop” tech
and said, “Run as fast as you can, and you might make it.” nique works here as well. Years ago, I had a coauthor
We barely made it, but we did make it. who routinely crossed her arms and openly glared at vis
In looking back at that experience, I really have no itors who knocked on my office door while we were
170 T he N o A sshole R ule The Virtues of Assholes 171
working. Those visitors quickly got the message from my for vanquishing com petitors. Follow in the footsteps
coauthor, and they didn’t stick around veiy long after get of baseball legend Ty Cobb, and succeed by snarling
at, bullying, putting down, threatening, and psyching
ting such treatment; indeed, they rarely knocked again.
out your opponents.
The result was that her hostile actions allowed me to be
3. If you dem ean your people to motivate them , alter
seen as a nice guy by all those visitors and still get the
nate it with (at least occasio n al) encouragem ent
work done! and praise. Alternate the carrot and the stick; the con
I’ve distilled the main lessons from this chapter into a trast between the two makes your wrath seem harsher
short list; if you want to be the best asshole that you can and your occasional kindnesses seem even sweeter.
possibly be for yourself and your organization, see “Do 4. Create a “toxic tandem.” If you are nasty, team up
You Want to Be an Effective Asshole?” But I should warn with someone who can calm people down, clean up
your mess, and extract favors and extra work from
you, as I did at the outset, that the ideas in this chapter
people because they are so grateful to the “good
are inherently dangerous. People who are destructive
cop.” If you are “too nice,” you might “rent a jerk,” per
jerks can use these alleged virtues to justify and glorify haps a consultant, a manager from a temporary
their wicked ways. The weight of the evidence (see chap staffing firm, or a lawyer.
ter 2) shows that assholes, especially certified assholes, do 5. Being ail a ssh o le , all the time, won’t work. Effective
far more harm than good. assholes have the ability to release their venom at just
the right moment and turn it off when just enough
destruction or humiliation has been inflicted on their
victim.
DO YOU WANT TO OE AN EFFECTIVE ASSHOLE?
Key Lessons Sure, there are successful assholes out there, but you
don’t have to act like a jerk to have a successful career or
1. Expressing anger, even n astin ess, can be an effec lead a successful organization. There are lots of warm and
tive method for grabbing and keeping power. Climb
caring people to demonstrate this point. I think of success
to the top of the heap by elbowing your colleagues out
ful business leaders like A.G. Lafley of Procter & Gamble,
of the way through expressing anger rather than sad
ness or perfecting a “general’s face” like George S. John Chambers of Cisco, Richard Branson of Virgin, and
Patton. Anne Mulcahy of Xerox. I think of Oprah Winfrey and one
2. N astiness and intimidation are especially effective of the most thoughtful and polite superstars of all time,
Elvis Presley. It is also worth noting that many reputed that you or someone else you know is suffering from such
corporate bullies have lost their jobs in recent years, at delusions of effectiveness, check my list of “Why Assholes
least in part because of their demeaning ways. Examples Fool Themselves,” which is derived mostly from three
include Disney’s Michael Eisner, Warnaco’s Linda Wach- major blind spots.
ner, and Sunbeam’s Al Dunlap. The first blind spot is that although most jerks suc
More generally, organizations that drive in compassion ceed despite rather than because of their vile ways, they
and drive out fear attract superior talent, have lower erroneously conclude that their nastiness is crucial to
turnover costs, share ideas more freely, have less dysfunc their success. One reason this happens, as much psycho
tional internal competition, and trump the external com logical research shows, is that most people look for and
petition. It turns out that companies can gain a remember facts that confirm their biases, while they si
competitive advantage by giving their people personal re multaneously avoid and forget facts that contradict their
spect, training them to be effective and humane managers, dearly held beliefs. Professional ice hockey provides an
allowing them time and resources to take care of them interesting example. People involved in the sport widely
selves and their families, using layoffs as a last resort, and believe that the more a team fights, the more games it
making it safe to express concerns, try new things, and will win because opponents will be physically and psy
talk openly about failures. Being on Fortune magazine’s list chologically intimidated. Yet a study of more than four
of “100 Best Companies to Work For” is linked to superior thousand National Hockey League games played b e
financial performance, and the evidence for the long-term tween 1987 and 1992 shows that the more fights teams
financial benefits of treating people with dignity and were in (measured by fighting penalties), the more
respect— rather than treating business as a “race to the games they lost. Fighting may still help teams in other
bottom line”— is documented in numerous studies by ways because, as Don Cherry (the most famous hockey
renowned researchers including Rutgers’s Mark Huselid announcer in Canada) told the New York Times, “The play
and Stanford’s Charles O ’Reilly III and Je ff Pfeffer. ers like to do it, the fans like it, [and] the coaches like it.”
This raises a difficult question: why do so many peo The best evidence suggests, however, that less fighting
ple act like assholes and believe it is generally effective means more wins, even if most people involved in the
even though there is so much evidence that it is a down game don’t believe it.
right stupid way to act? My hunch is that many assholes The second blind spot arises because people confuse
are blinded by several intertwined features of human the tactics that helped them gain power with the tactics
judgment and organizational life. If you are concerned that are best for leading a team or company. As w e’ve
174 T he No A sshole R ule The Virtues o f Assholes 175
seen, there is evidence that— especially in places with pose themselves on underlings. People who are experi
nasty and competitive cultures— intimidating and putting enced at “asshole boss management” also learn that their
down others can help people gain power. The rub is that survival depends on protecting themselves from blame,
team and organizational effectiveness depends on gaining humiliation, and recrimination rather than doing what is
trust and cooperation from insiders and outsiders. When best for their organization.
leaders demean their underlings and treat partners from Outsiders learn how to survive, and even thrive, when
other companies, suppliers, or customers as enemies jerks rule the roost as well. “Asshole taxes” are a good ex
rather than valued friends, their organizations suffer. ample: I’ve talked to several management consultants,
Mean-spirited backstabbers sometimes elbow their way plus a few computer repair technicians and plumbers,
into powerful positions and use their demeaning moves to who quote premium rates to nasty clients— who often
protect their power. But unless they change their destruc don’t realize this is happening. These “asshole taxes” have
tive ways and reputations as fearmongers, they will have two effects: one is to drive away nasty clients, and the
a hard time gaining the trust and cooperation required for other is that if the client does pay, say, twice your usual
fueling top team and organizational performance. rate, you can justify it to yourself by saying, “They might
The third blind spot stems from defensive measures be assholes, but I am punishing them for that and bene
that experienced victims use to protect themselves from fiting to boot.” And once again, the jerks pay a penalty—
cruel and vindictive actions, measures that have the side either by being unable to attract the best people or by
effect of shielding assholes from realizing the damage paying more for their services— even if they aren’t aware
they inflict. For starters, victims learn to avoid their op of the self-inflicted damage.
pressor’s wrath by reporting only good news and remain Assholes also often don’t realize that every time they
ing silent about, and even hiding, bad news. This tends to demean someone— say, with a nasty glare or a mean-spirited
feed an asshole’s delusions of effectiveness. People also joke or tease, or by treating a person as if he or she were
learn to “put on a show” when the bully is monitoring invisible, or by exaggerating their self-importance yet one
their actions. They dramatically change what they do more time— their list of enemies grows longer day after
when the boss or another powerful person watches them day. Fear compels most of their enemies to stay silent, at
work, but once the jerk departs, they revert to the least for a while. But as their enem ies’ number and power
“wrong” things. So oppressors travel through life believ grow, the enemies can lie in wait until something hap
ing that they are inspiring effective action when, in fact, pens to weaken the bully’s position, such as organiza
it only happens during the rare moments they actively im tional performance problems or a small scandal. Then
176 T he No A sshole R ule The Virtues of Assholes 177
they pounce. It is impossible to be in a position of power can survive your management style devote all their
without annoying and alienating some people, but seem energy to avoiding blame rather than fixing problems.
ingly cold, unpleasant, and unkind people often create 6. You are being charged “asshole taxes” but don’t know
it. You are such a jerk that people are willing to work
more enemies than they realize.
for you and your company only if you pay them pre
mium rates.
7. Your enemies are silent (for now), but the list keeps
growing. Your demeaning actions mean that day after
WHY ASSHOLES FOOL THEMSELVES day, you turn more people against you, and you don’t
realize it. Your enemies don't have the power to trash
Are You Suffering from Delusions of Effectiveness?
you right now, but are lying in wait to drive you out.
1. You and your organization are effective d e s p ite rather

than b e c a u s e you are a demeaning jerk. You make the In closing, I want to make my personal beliefs crystal
mistake of attributing success to the virtues of your clear. Even if there were no performance advantages to
nasty ways, even though your demeaning actions ac barring, expelling, and reforming nasty and demeaning
tually undermine performance. people, I’d still want organizations to enforce the no ass
2. You mistake your successful power grab for organiza hole rule. This book isn’t meant to be simply an objective
tional success. The skills that get you a powerful job
summary of theory and research about the ways that ass
are different—often the opposite—from the skills
holes undermine organizational effectiveness. I wrote it
needed to do the job well.
3. The news is bad, but people only tell you good news. because my life and the lives of the people I care about
The “shoot the messenger” problem means that peo are too short and too precious to spend our days sur
ple are afraid to give you bad news, because you will rounded by jerks.
blame and humiliate them. So you think things are And despite my failures in this regard, I feel obligated
going great, even though problems abound. to avoid inflicting my inner jerk on others. I wonder why
4. People put on an act when you are around. Fear
so many assholes completely miss the fact that all we have
causes people to do the "right” things when you are
on this earth are the days of our lives, and for many of us,
watching them. As soon as you leave, they revert to
less effective or downright destructive behavior— huge portions of our lives are spent doing our jobs, inter
which you don’t see. acting with other people. Steve Jobs is famous for saying
5. People work to avoid your wrath rather than to do what that “the journey is the reward,” but for my tastes, as
is best for the organization. The only employees who much as I admire his accomplishments, it appears that he
has missed the point. We all die in the end, and despite
whatever “rational” virtues assholes may enjoy, I prefer to
avoid spending my days working with mean-spirited jerks
and will continue to question why so many of us tolerate,
justify, and glorify so much demeaning behavior from so
C hapter 7
many people.
The No Asshole Rule as a

Way of Life
T h e first time that I ever heard about a book on assholes

was more than thirty years ago. It happened at an Italian
restaurant in San Francisco called Little Jo e ’s, where cu
tomers sat behind a long counter that faced an open
kitchen. Most of us came to see the flamboyant chef, who
sang, joked with customers and employees, and enter
tained us by igniting dramatic flames with olive oil as he
cooked. Employees wore T-shirts that said “Rain or shine,
there is always a line,” and waiting for a seat was good
fun because of the constant banter and clowning around.
One day, I waited behind an especially rude customer
who was sitting at the counter. He made crude comments,
tried to grab the waitress, complained about how his veal
parmigiana tasted, and insulted customers who told him
to pipe down.
180 T he No A sshole R ule The No Asshole Rule as a Way o f Life 181
This creep kept spewing his venom until a fellow cus twenty-five “asshole wanted posters” and then purged
tomer approached him and asked (in a loud voice), “You those assholes from the company. So the first things that
are just an amazing person. I’ve been looking everywhere you need to do are screen out, reform, and expel all the
for a person like you. I love how you act. Can you give assholes in your workplace. It will then becom e easier to
me your name?” He looked flustered for a moment, but focus on helping people becom e warmer and more
then seemed flattered, offered thanks for the compliment, supportive.
and provided his name.
Without missing a beat, his questioner wrote it down 2. T a lk in g about the rule is nice, but fo llo w ing u p o n
and said, “Thanks. I appreciate it. You see, I am writing a it is w hat re a lly matters.
book on assholes . . . and you are absolutely perfect for Announcing a no jerks allowed rule, talking about
chapter 13.” The entire place roared, and the asshole being “warm and friendly,” or displaying a “no bozos”
looked humiliated, shut his trap, and soon slithered out— poster is nice. But all those words are meaningless— or
and the waitress beamed with delight. worse— if they don’t truly guide people in changing their
This story is more than a sweet and funny memory. behavior. There were no rules posted at Little Jo e ’s, but al
That incident at Little Jo e ’s reflects seven key lessons most everyone in the restaurant understood that although
about the no asshole rule that run through this book. the food was good, most customers went there to catch
and add to the infectious good cheer. When that aspiring
1 . A few d em eanin g creeps ca n overw helm the w arm author humiliated the nasty customer, he was enforcing an
feelings generated b y hordes o f civ ilize d people. unwritten rule: you had no business being at Little Jo e ’s if
The abuse spewed out by just one jerk was ruining you were spreading asshole poisoning, because it ruined
the experience for everyone at Little Jo e ’s that day. Re the atmosphere for everyone else.
member that if you want to enforce the no asshole rule Talking about or posting the rule isn’t necessary if peo
in your organization, you’ll get more bang for your buck ple understand it and act on it. But if you can’t enforce the
by eliminating those folks who bring people down. Bear rule, it is better to say nothing. Otherwise, your organiza
in mind that negative interactions have five times the effect on tion risks being seen as both nasty and hypocritical. Recall
mood than positive interactions— it takes a lot of good people the fate of Holland & Knight, the law firm that bragged
to make up for the damage done by just a few demean they had “made it a priority to weed out selfish, arrogant,
ing jerks. If you want a civilized workplace, take some and disrespectful attorneys” and that they would enforce
inspiration from the CEO who made up the equivalent of a “no jerk rule.” They faced bad press when insiders
182 T he N o A sshole R ule The No Asshole Rule as a Way o f Life 183
expressed “disgust” with the firm’s hypocrisy because an 4. Sh ou ld y o u keep a few assholes aro un d ?
attorney with an alleged history of sexual harassment was The incident at Little Jo e ’s shows that very bad people
promoted to a senior management position. can be a very good thing— if they are handled right. That
flaming asshole was perfect for chapter 13 because his an
3. T h e rule lives— o r dies— in the little m om ents. tics showed every customer and employee in that
Having all the right business philosophies and manage crowded place how not to behave at that place. But I want
ment practices to support the no asshole rule is useless to warn you that allowing a few creeps to make them
unless you treat the person right in front o f you, right now, in selves at home in your company is dangerous. The truth
the right way. is that assholes breed like rabbits. Their poison quickly in
That customer who claimed to be writing a book on fects others; even worse, if you let them make hiring de
assholes took less than thirty seconds to deliver his beau cisions, they will start cloning themselves. Once people
tiful insult. In that moment, he reinforced the unwritten believe that they can get away with treating others with
rule that Little Jo e ’s was a place where employees and contempt or, worse yet, believe they will be praised and
customers came to have fun, to laugh, and to joke, not rewarded for it, a reign of psychological terror can spread
to abuse and demean. The same lesson emerged from throughout your organization that is damn hard to stop.
the most extensive “asshole management intervention”
5. E n fo rcin g the n o asshole rule is n ’t ju st m anage
that I know of in American history, which involved more
m en t’s job.
than seven thousand people at eleven different Veterans
Keep in mind that the aspiring author at Little Jo e ’s
Administration facilities. Of course, the people at the VA
wasn’t a manager. He wasn’t even an employee. He was
used much more polite language— words like stress, ag
just a customer waiting in line.
gression, and bullying. But I call it an asshole management
The lesson is that the no asshole rule works best when
intervention because the VA teams taught people how to
everyone involved in the organization steps in to enforce
reflect on and to change the little nasty things that they
it when necessaiy. Just think of the simple math. If, say,
did, like glaring at people and treating them as if they
you work in a store that has one manager, twenty-two em
were invisible. ployees, and several hundred customers, it is impossible to
In other words, they helped assholes recognize how expect that one manager to be everywhere at once, enforc
and when they did their dirty work— and they showed ing the no asshole rule or, for that matter, any other norm
them how to change such destructive behavior. about how people are expected to act in the organization.
184 T he N o A sshole R ule The No Asshole Rule as a Way o f Life 185
But if every employee and customer, as well as the man predation. When people violate the rule, they are con
ager, understands, accepts, and has the power to support fronted with painful, and often public, embarrassment and
the rule, then it is a lot harder for any given customer to the feelings of shame that goes with it. True, it rarely hap
get away with being a flaming asshole. pens as swiftly and thoroughly as it did that day at Little
Treating people right means conveying respect, Jo e ’s. At most places that enforce the rule, the delete but
warmth, and kindness to them— and assuming the best ton is powered with a more subtle blend of respect and
about their intentions. But the game changes when peo humiliation. But it still happens.
ple demonstrate that they are unmitigated jerks. And it is
a lot easier to enforce the rule when everyone feels obli 7. A ssholes are us.
gated to let bullies know that their nastiness is ruining the I suspect that when you heard the Little Jo e ’s story, you
joy for everyone else and— as that clever customer did by identified with the customers and employees who were
embarrassing that flaming asshole— when everyone takes offended by that jerk. And maybe— like me— you secretly
responsibility for pressing the “delete button” to expel ass dreamed that someday, just once, you could summon the
holes from the system. spontaneous wit and courage to bring down an asshole
just like that clever customer did.
6. Em barrassm ent and pride are pow erful motivators. But let’s look at it another way. Think about the times
That abusive customer at Little Jo e ’s was stopped in his when you were the guy at the counter, when you were
tracks because he was embarrassed. I can still remember the asshole in the story. I wish I could say I’ve never been
how his face turned bright red, how he turned silent and that guy, but that would be a bald-faced lie, as I’ve con
stared ahead as he finished his meal, and how he avoided fessed at several junctures in this book. If you want to
eye contact with people standing in line as he headed out. build an asshole-free environment, you’ve got to start by
As renowned sociologists like Erving Goffman have looking in the mirror. When have you been an asshole?
shown, human beings will go to extreme lengths to save When have you caught and spread this contagious dis
face, to feel respected, and to avoid embarrassment and ease? What can you do, or what have you done, to keep
feelings of shame. your inner asshole from firing away at others?
This simple insight highlights and glues together much The most powerful single step you can take is to fol
of the advice in this book. In organizations where the no low “da Vinci’s rule” and just stay away from nasty people
asshole rule reigns, people who follow it and don’t let and places. This means you must defy the temptation to
others break that rule are rewarded with respect and ap- work with a swarm of assholes, regardless of a job ’s other
perks and charms. It also means that if you make this mis
take, get out as fast as you can. And remember, as my stu
dent Dave Sanford taught me, that admitting you’re an
asshole is the first step. Dear Reader,
As you’ve seen in this book, I’ve learned a great
deal from people who have sent me stories and
T h e Upshot
su8gesti° ns about The No Asshole Rule. I’d love to
The essence of this little book is pretty simple: We are all keep it going. So if you would like to send me an
given only so many hours here on earth. Wouldn’t it be e-mail about your experiences with assholes, what
wonderful if we could travel through our lives without en you’ve learned about taming them, how you endure
countering people who bring us down with their demean them, or anything else, please visit my blog at
ing remarks and actions? www.bobsutton.net and just click on “Email Me” in
This book is aimed at weeding out those folks and at the upper left corner. You can also read and
teaching them when they have stripped others of their es comment on other stories of workplace assholes
teem and dignity. If you are truly tired of living in Jerk and their management, new articles and research on
City— if you don’t want every day to feel like a walk down the workplace, and related opinions and news on
Asshole Avenue— well, it’s your job to help build and my blog. Please note that by sending me your stoiy,
shape a civilized workplace. Sure, you already know that. you are giving me permission to use it in the things
But isn’t it time to do something about it? that I write and say. But I promise not to use your
name unless you give me explicit permission.
Thanks, and I look forward to hearing from you.
Robert Sutton
Stanford University
Additional R eading
Here are some of my favorite books and articles for those

of you who want to learn more about nasty people, the
damage they do, and how to stop them. Included are a
few of my favorite books about famous jerks, as well as
selections about people and their workplaces.
Ashforth, Blake. “Petty Tyranny in Organizations.” Human

Relations 47 (1994): 755-79.
Bowe, John, Marisa Bowe, and Sabin Streeter, eds. Gig:
Americans Talk About Their Jobs at the Turn o f the Millennium.
New York: Crown, 2000.
Buchanan, Paul. “Is it Against the Law to Be a Jerk?” Essay
for the Washington State Bar Association, http://www.
wsba.org/media/publications/barnews/archives/2001/
feb-01-against.htm, 2001.
Cowan, John. Small Decencies: Reflections and Meditations on
Being Human at Work. New York: HarperBusiness, 1992.
Davenport, Noa, Ruth Distler Schwartz, and Gail Pursell
Additional Reading 191
190 A dditional Reading
Media.mit.edu/press/jerk-o-meter. Visit this site to learn

Elliott. Mobbing: Emotional Abuse in the American Workplace.
more about how the Jerk-O-Meter works and the re
Ames, Iowa: Civil Society Publishing, 2002.
search that led to this invention.
Einarsen, Stale, Helge Hoel, Dieter Zapf, and Cary L.
Mnookin, Seth. Hard News: The Scandals at The New York
Cooper. Bullying and Emotional Abuse in the Workplace: Inter
Times and Their Meaning fo r American Media. New York:
national Perspectives in Research and Practice. London: Taylor
Random House, 2004.
& Francis, 2003. O ’Reilly, Charles A., and Jeffrey Pfeffer. Hidden Value: How
Feinstein, John. A Season on the Brink: A Year with Bob Knight Great Companies Achieve Extraordinary Results with Ordinary
and the Indiana Hoosiers. New York: Simon & Schuster, People. Boston: Harvard Business School Press, 2000.
1989. Pearson, Christine M., and Christine L. Porath. “On the Na
Fox, Suzy, and Paul E. Spector, eds. Counterproductive Work ture, Consequences, and Remedies o f Workplace Inci
Behavior: Investigations o f Actors and Targets. Washington, vility: No Time for ‘Nice? Think Again.” Academy o f
D.C.: American Psychological Association, 2005. Management Executive 19, no. 1 (2005): 7—18.
Frost, Peter J. Toxic Emotions at Work: How Compassionate Man Pfeffer, Jeffrey. The Human Equation: Building Profits by
agers Handle Pain and Conflict. Boston: Flarvard Business Putting People First. Boston: Harvard Business School
School Press, 2003. Press, 1998.
Plornstein, Harvey A. Brutal Bosses and Their Prey: How to Iden Seligman, Martin. Learned Optimism: How to Change Your M ind
tify and Overcome Abuse in the Workplace. New York: River- and Your Life. New York: Free Press, 1998.
head Press, 1996. Stump, Al. Cobb: A Biography. Chapel Hill, N.C.: Algonquin,
Huselid, Mark A., Brian E. Becker, and Richard W. Beatty. 1994.
The Workforce Scorecard: Managing Human Capital to Execute Van Maanen, John. “The Asshole.” In Policing: A View from
Strategy. Boston: Harvard Business School Press, 2005. the Streets, edited by P.K. Manning and John Van Maa
nen, 231-38. Santa Monica, Calif: Goodyear, 1978.
Kramer, Roderick M. “The Great Intimidators.” Harvard
Weick, Karl. “Small Wins: Redefining the Scale of Social
Business Review, February 2006, 88-97.
Problems.” American Psychologist 39 (1984): 40—49-
MacKenzie, Gordon. Orbiting the Giant Hairball: A Corporate
Fool’s Guide to Surviving with Grace. New York: Viking, 1998.
McLean, Bethany, and Peter Elkind. The Smartest Guys in the
Room: The Amazing Rise and Scandalous Fall o f Enron. New
York: Portfolio, 2003.

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T he

ROBERT I. SUTTON, PhD

Chapter 1: What Workplace Assholes Do and Why You

Chapter 2: The Damage Done: Why Every Workplace

Chapter 3: How to Implement the Rule, Enforce It,

Chapter 4: How to Stop Your “Inner Jerk” from

Chapter 5: When Assholes Reign: Tips for Surviving

Chapter 6: The Virtues of Assholes 155

Chapter 7; The No Asshole Ruleas a Way of Life 179

When I encounter a mean-spirited person, the first thing

usually enjoy superior performance as well. I hope that this

What Workplace Assholes Do and Why

W h o deserves to be branded as an asshole? Many of us

understanding how assholes are defined in this little book.

management professor at INSEAD business school in France

I have been on the receiving end of an organiza­

was willing to work for Ethan, so they were forced to

• Overtime costs associated with Ethan’s WHAT'S YOUR TCA?

Damage to Victims and Witnesses

Legal and HR Management Costs

• Anger management and other training to reform ass­

When Assholes Reign: Negative Effects on Organizations

• Impaired improvement in established systems

How to Implement the Rule, Enforce It,

M an y organizations enforce the no asshole rule, but some

that it “recklessly and unfairly impugns the reputation of

demeaning, violent, and immoral of criminals. A veteran

on the contrary, some people are more important to the

Srtgry l Si in Mailed die company. I hope this norm

How to Stop Your “Inner Jerk” from

T h e last chapter was about applying the rule to organiza­

can be diagnostic. She explained that she approached me and my closet in

Face Your Past Examples include anxiety, aggression, dominance, emo­

perhaps a cowboy— you will likely be more polite than

Dave Sanford just graduated from Stanford in 2006. Dave

massive, magic solutions to ending world hunger or clean­

you even tiny bits of control can protect your sense of

The Virtues of Assholes

I didn’t want to write this chapter. But some of my clos­

DO YOU WANT TO OE AN EFFECTIVE ASSHOLE?

1. You and your organization are effective d e s p ite rather

The No Asshole Rule as a

T h e first time that I ever heard about a book on assholes

Here are some of my favorite books and articles for those

Ashforth, Blake. “Petty Tyranny in Organizations.” Human

Media.mit.edu/press/jerk-o-meter. Visit this site to learn

You might also like

I have been on the receiving end of an organiza

• Anger management and other training to reform ass

T h e last chapter was about applying the rule to organiza

Face Your Past Examples include anxiety, aggression, dominance, emo

massive, magic solutions to ending world hunger or clean

I didn’t want to write this chapter. But some of my clos