DIVORCE (TRANSLATE TO TAGALOG)

Pros of Divorce

 1. If you are living in a violent situation divorce and the family court is your out. If ever
you should divorce, there is no better reason than domestic abuse.

2. She didn’t cheat once, she has given new meaning to the term “serial cheater.” In that
case, bid her “au revoir.” You deserve better and will be better off!

3. He calls you names, controls when and where you are allowed to do anything. He is a
bully, who needs that? Divorce him and find some peace of mind.

4. You two have different expectations of marriage. What he wants from the marriage is on
the other end of the spectrum from what you want. Meeting in the middle isn’t going to
happen and you will only end up resenting each other. Divorce will free you up to find
someone who is more “like-minded.”

5. Not everyone views sex as an important part of the marriage contract. Those who are
married to folks who don’t consider sex important can live in a special kind of hell. If sex
is high on your list of marital priorities but is low on hers’, you have no moral obligation to
remain married to someone who is withholding that intimate connection.

6. There are many pros to divorce. It can free you from an emotionally unsustainable
situation and free you up to build a healthy, rewarding life either on your own or with a
new person.

Cons of Divorce

1. Divorce will have a negative impact on your children. You can lessen the impact on your
children by making their needs for security your main priority during and after your
divorce. But, make no mistake, divorce is as hard, if not harder on children as it is for
parents.

2. Your finances will suffer during and after divorce. If you are a father you will pay child
support and, in some cases, spousal support. If you are a woman, your income will
drastically decrease leaving you to struggle to make ends meet.

According to marriage researchers Drs. Linda J. Waite and Maggie Gallagher, “Divorcing
individuals would need more than a 30% increase in income, on average, to maintain the
same standard of living they had prior to their divorce. About one in five women fall into
poverty as a result of divorce. Three out of four divorced mothers don’t receive full
payment of child support. Most men experience a loss in their standard of living in the
years after a divorce, as well, a loss generally about 10%–40%, depending on
circumstances.” It isn’t a pretty picture!

3. It can take years to heal from the emotional pain caused by divorce. Regardless of the
problems in the marriage you have developed an emotional and physiological attachment
to your spouse and the family as a unit. You are detaching yourself from a way of life and
it only makes sense that, whether you wanted the divorce or not, it will take time to work
through very confusing emotions.

4. Divorce not only changes the relationship with your spouse, it changes relationships you
have with friends and family. Are you close to your spouses’ family? Don’t expect that to
continue. Expect friends and family to take sides, choose one spouse over the other and
leave someone out in the dark. Its human nature and divorce always come with the loss of
close friendships and familial relationships.

There are two sides to divorce, the good side, and the bad side.

Please consider both before moving ahead with your plans to divorce due to marital
problems that may have a better solution.

The proposal to legalize divorce in the Philippines will be the talk of the town once debates in
congress over the measure start. There will be pros and cons to the issue, there will be a lot of
actors on the scene, and the discussion will be long and winding, something Filipinos, who are fans
of soap operas, love.
Proponents for the legalization of divorce maintain that their proposal does not in any way disregard
the constitutional provision to protect and strengthen marriage and family as basic social institutions.
They say they value the dignity of every human person, guarantee full respect for human rights, and
will ensure the fundamental equality of women and men before the law.
The present Family Code of the Philippines allows legal separation and annulment as legal remedies
to end a marital relationship. 
While legal separation prevents an abusive partner harming his/her spouse, the party abused cannot
remarry. On the other hand, annulment declares a marriage null and void, so both parties can enter
into a new marital relationship.
But the process is very long and expensive, hence not practical to many poor Filipinos. The
proposed amendment to the law would seem to provide a solution to the agony caused by many
failed and unhappy marriages across all Filipino classes. 

This, however, would present a dilemma of conscience for many Filipinos, most of whom are
Catholics who believe in the indissolubility of marriage, which is diametrically opposed to divorce.  
Secondly, Filipino culture puts the family at the center of one’s life: the main source of financial
security, the fountain of one’s emotional, moral and spiritual nourishment. The break up of family life
would destroy the marital relationship and also the physical advancement, the emotional growth, the
moral and spiritual development of every member of the family, especially the children.
It appears that the proposed divorce law would be contrary to the constitutional provision to protect
and strengthen marriage and family as basic social institutions. 
Making the dissolution of marriage easily available and affordable would make it easier for
irresponsible partners to have legal access to multiple marital abuse, which is detrimental to the
building of a healthy society.
Given the family-centered Filipino culture, the legalization of divorce may, instead of saving the
dignity of human beings, contribute to the proliferation of emotionally sick, morally ill, and spiritually
bankrupt individuals.
Filipino culture will be under attack with a divorce law. Fidelity in any relationship is a mark of the
Filipino soul. And a deep sense of gratitude to one’s source of life defines the Filipino cultural
identity. 
As we Filipinos say, "Those who do not know how to look back to their roots [family], cannot reach
their destination."
It speaks of the fundamental role of the family as a source of one’s total security in society. A broken
family (because of divorce) will unlikely sustain the energy required for one to journey through life. It
is because the person’s main source of emotional, moral and spiritual energy is destroyed.
Finally, with the legalization of divorce, the Filipino spirit is put on trial. As a predominantly Catholic
country, Filipinos believe in the sacredness of marriage and family life. Both are gifts of the ultimate
source of life and love who has never abandoned His people through the course of history.
Christian history has been characterized by God’s unconditional fidelity of his love and mercy to his
continually sinful people. 
In the New Testament, God’s fidelity made flesh, Jesus Christ, uttered unconditional forgiveness to a
sinful humanity. The human face of God’s mercy and compassion became faithful in his relationship
with man until the last drop of his blood.
Marriage, from the perspective of the Catholic faith is a sacrament. If Jesus is the sacrament of God
the Father, the church is the sacrament of Jesus. And the church, being faithful to God, in Jesus,
establishes the sacraments, which are an unconditional source of God’s mercy and grace.
Marriage as one of the Catholic Church’s sacraments has this indelible identity of God’s fidelity to his
people. Married couples are, therefore, called to give witness to a life of God’s fidelity to his people
by being faithful themselves throughout life. Thus, divorce is certainly opposed to a Catholic
Christian marital and family life. 

Divorce (or the dissolution of marriage) is the termination of a marital union, the cancelling of the
legal duties and responsibilities of marriage and the dissolving of the bonds of matrimony between a
married couple. Divorce can be a stressful experience affecting finances, living arrangements,
household jobs, schedules and more. If the family includes children, they may be deeply affected.
Countries like Philippines and Vatican City do not allow divorce. The legal process of divorce may
involve issues of alimony ( spousal support), child custody, child support, distribution of property and
division of debt. Divorce effects academics, and psychological behaviour. Studies have shown that
children from divorced families are more likely to exhibit such behavioural issues than those from
non-divorced families. Divorce can have a positive effect on families due to less conflict in the home.
There are many instances where the parent-child relationship may suffer due to divorce. When an
adult goes through divorce, financial support is lost many-a-times. The adult may be obligated to
obtain additional work to maintain financial stability. This can also lead to negative relationship
between the parents and the child. Studies also show that parental skills also decreases after a
divorce. This article mainly focuses on the pros and cons of a divorce.

1. Overcoming sadness :

Believe in whatever bad happened will healed by time. List everything in your life you are thankful for
to be happy. Put some humor in your life!. Learn to laugh at yourself or rent your favourite funny
videos. Try to make some plans with your friends. Don’t expect too much of yourself. Face the things
that you are dreading. Buy yourself or someone a gift. Get some exercise. When you exercise, your
body makes more special chemicals called endorphins that help to improve your mood. Think of all
beautiful moments that happened especially to you.

2. Becoming happier :

No matter how you feel, you can survive, and will, if you keep a positive attitude, as you go ahead
alone. Make happiness your primary concern no matter who is to blame. You are not the first person
to be divorced and will not be the last. Go forward and do things you have always wanted to look
forward to the future.

3. Finding a more suitable partner :

Divorce is one of those life events that forces huge changes in you life whether you like it or not.
Moving on after divorce, no matter how strong a person you are, is challenging. You are alone inn
your own head every day with a range of emotions- anger, relief, humiliation, depression and fear.
You are confused and overwhelmed at the same moment. Choose the right and don’t feel sad. It’s
best to avoid anchoring yourself into relationships with friends and family who are still telling you that
you shouldn’t have gotten a divorce. You need to learn how to date again unless you were only
married for a very short while. Don’t wait for the perfect one but don’t settle fir the wrong one. A new
relationship is a new chapter in your life.

4. Financial strains :

Divorce is not only an emotionally trying experience, but it can be financially devastating one, as
well. A divorce itself will have significant financial impacts, as well as living alone or having to pay for
child-care or support. There are also serious financial implications of a divorce. Alimony itself may
not be sufficient to compensate for the new financial challenges after a divorce. The earning of the
family gets reduced if the spouse had no job experience or is incapable of getting a well paying job.
Especially if the children are small, they too need proper care, and with a single parent to left with
them, it becomes difficult to go out of home to earn a living with full-time employment. The expenses
of a divorce are unlikely to deter a couple that truly needs to split. The first financial burden is the
separation of one household into two.

5. Being alone :
You will have significantly more time alone, which can be both an advantage and a disadvantage. If
you have outgrown your relationship you might be more true to your current authentic self by
deciding to go your own way and split. Feeling lonely is a common reaction after a divorce. Even
when you have children with you, it’s not the same as having a partner present. Parents in this stage
find themselves having trouble concentrating and sleeping. One of the dangers of this stage is
pushing friends away. The whole focus at this time is to keep busy that you won’t have time to
experience feeling alone or sad. New interests and hobbies are frequently discovered at this point.
You are able to be content by yourself. You don’t require someone else’s presence to make you
happy. You are unique and independent person.

6. Making new friends :

As a couple you will have shared friends, other couples and other families with children. Often after a
divorce, some or even many of those friends will be more friends of either you or your former
partner. One of the challenges will specifically be to make new single friends for the times you want
to go out without your children. The first step to moving on after divorce is to make new friends. Go
alone to events where you will meet people who have gone through what you have gone through
and events where you will meet people who have the same hobby as you.

7. Affect your lifestyle :

8. Children suffers the most :

Parental alienation occurs in at least 60% of divorce cases. Parents who aren’t able to put their kids
first during divorce let their kids down. Children are far worse off financially, educationally and
emotionally than at times when parents stay together. Children will end up having to choose one
parent that they are to live with, which will dramatically change the role of the other parent. While
getting a divorce, you should always take into consideration of the child’s needs, you need to share
equal time with the child and always be there for them when they need you for educational help, or
even if they are under emotional stress. Just because it is a divorce doesn’t mean that the ex-
spouses can’t be friends for the sake of the child. It can cause serious psychological impacts to the
children unless you can find a way to make sure the child is safe. Although it has the benefit of
freedom for a divorcee, it means nothing if your child has trauma from the experience. Children (and
adult children) have the attitude that their parents should be able to work through and solve any
issue. For a child, divorce shatters the basic safety and belief concerning the parents abilities to care
for them and to make decisions that truly consider their well being. Kids whose parents divorce are
substantially more likely to be incarcerated for committing a crime as a juvenile. Teens from divorced
homes are much more likely to engage in drug and alcohol use.

 
9. Household tension is gone :

Parents usually fight a lot when they are on the long road to divorce. When divorce actually happens
though, the fighting decreases significantly, due to the fact that both the sides are finally separated.
This means that the household tension is gone. People just feel free to do whatever they want as
they don’t have to deal with their husband or wife anymore. So, they will be able to do whatever they
want to do again, the things before they were married. Your ex-spouse’s point of view doesn’t matter
to you anymore. No matter how much effort is put into keeping anger out of the divorce process, it is
normal to feel a certain amount of anger. When parents divorce, children feel a lack of control. They
have no voice in whether or not their family stays together. Fights between the parents may lead to
adverse effects on the kids.

10. Divorce splits the family :

Divorce not only leads to termination of marriage but it also leads to the splitting of the family. The
parents get separated and it also have adverse effects on the kids. The kids have to forcefully
choose one amongst the two parents. Even if the kids want to stay with both the parents, but as per
the law, the kid have to compulsorily choose one parent. Family holidays and outings are also
effected due to separation of the parents. It is essential for the kids to have love, care, support from
both the parents but after divorce, relationship between the parents is shattered and it also have
various effects on the kid’s life too. Divorce also leads to single parenthood on children. The parents
move to different houses, dividing every single thing, which they once shared. The sense of statbility
and security is also lost in the relationship.

Unfounded fears

But former Gabriela party-list Representative Liza Maza says, the fear that most married couples will
avail of divorce is unfounded.

"Divorce is an option for marriages experiencing irreparable breakdown. This is not for happy
marriages."

Maza adds that a measure providing divorce as an option would, in fact, ensure the survival of
problem-ridden families.

"A strong family marked by violence violates the sanctity of marriage."

"Tayo na lang po ang bansa na hindi nagpapahintulot sa isang reasonable at angkop na solusyon sa
mga sitwasyon na kung saan na hindi na talaga kailangang pagsamahin pa ang mga gusto nang hindi
magsama," Maza says.

My opinion on the matter is simple and straightforward: Every civilized society

should allow the legal, and as much as possible painless, dissolution of a
marriage should the parties involved wish to do so. While it remains debatable
that our own particular society is a civilized one, what with grandstanding
lunatic presidents ordering state forces to shoot female rebels in the vagina, it
nevertheless behooves any government to provide sensible and practical
legal options when a marriage ends.

Because let’s face it, happily ever after is not quite everyone’s reality.
Marriages end. Not all marriages end, of course. But enough marriages end to
merit a law allowing divorce to be sought and granted on any number of
reasonable grounds.

One could argue that there are legal avenues available for couples seeking to
dissolve their marriages, such as legal annulment and legal separation.
However, obtaining a decree of annulment is a tiresome, protracted, costly,
and bureaucracy-riddled process that seems to require subterfuge much more
than truthfulness, as the admissible grounds applicable to the parties
sometimes compel them to go to ridiculous lengths to present their spouses
as psychologically incapacitated or cruel. In fact, the more psychopathic they
make each other seem, the better chances of getting their marriage annulled.

Let’s say you were way over 21 when you got married; you weren’t tricked or
drugged into marriage; you contracted marriage of your own free will, being of
sound mind and body; you’re not crazy—yet; you’re not impotent, and you
don’t have AIDS. But you want out of a marriage that no longer works for you
and your spouse. Perhaps one of you is having an affair. Or you’ve grown
apart and no longer have a relationship that’s fulfilling and enriching. Perhaps
your spouse is verbally, emotionally, or physically abusive. Perhaps one of
you has serious alcohol or substance abuse issues. Perhaps it’s just over.

Are you condemned to remain married to each other because there is no

other legal recourse but to stay together at least legally?

It may be that a couple may choose to remain together however dysfunctional

or dangerous their marriage might be. But it is important that they have the
option to end their marriage should they so wish, hence, the necessity of
divorce.

God is believed by many here to have said that what he has joined together
let no man separate. I would imagine that our notion of God has evolved
sufficiently that he would, if indeed he exists, not wish for husband and wife,
or for that matter wife and wife, or husband and husband, to live in misery, or
in some cases, in fear for their lives. Surely, he would want spouses to be
their best selves under the best possible conditions that allow them to
actualize their potential as human beings and find happiness, fulfillment, and
meaning—making them better partners in future relationships.

It’s not my place to say whether a couple should divorce or not, even if in
some cases it’s evident—and necessary—that they do. The decision to
divorce is rarely taken lightly, and it is something the two parties involved
need to discuss and resolve. But divorce should be an option available to
them.

PROS OF DIVORCE
 It definitely has fewer ramifications than murder. If you have plotted the multiple
ways in which you want to take out your spouse, then consider filing for a divorce
instead. After all, living in poverty in a one-bedroom apartment is definitely a
better alternative to a jail cell.
 You can finally act on those illicit feelings you have for that girl or guy in your life
by asking them out. In fact, you can re-enter the dating field (with the slight
baggage of 20 extra pounds and 2 kids of course) and make up for any lack luster
sexless nights you have experienced in your marriage. Good luck with that.
 You will never have anyone to tell you how to do the simple things in life, like how
to put the dishes away, how or when to mow the lawn, or chastise you for leaving
the toilet seat up (or down, depending on your gender). In fact, you can transcend
back into living as you did in your college days with roaches crawling over empty
pizza boxes, or for those Type A married folks; can alphabetize everything damn
thing in your home.
 You can eat anything you want, whenever you want, without ever considering the
nutritional needs or desires of anyone else in the home.
 You can finally pawn or sell your wedding jewelry to get that special thing you
have been wanting for yourself.
 You never have to listen to music or watch television shows that you hate for the
sake of your spouse. In fact, you can watch marathons of Dancing with the Stars
 or the Super Bowl over and over again without regard to what your partner thinks
Booyah!
 You can do whatever the heck you want with your money, without asking
permission or ‘‘discussing’’ it with your partner.
 No one will ever talk to you while you are taking a dump or are in the shower
again.
 You can take all the covers, all the pillows, and fart in bed as much as necessary
without any backlash.
 You never have to worry about your spouse killing you in your sleep. (As long as
the doors to your new home are kept locked)
 No one will be lurking around asking you, ‘“What are you doing?’” all the time.
 You won’’t have to remember all-important dates like birthdays or anniversaries
ever again. In fact, you can forget them completely!
 You will finally have the incentive you need to work out, lose weight, and get
healthy, because you certainly won’’t attract anyone of the opposite sex in your
current state, right?
 Boys and girls nights out. Without worrying about when you come home. (That is
if you know any other single people your age to go with you)

Cons of Divorce

 You will feel compelled to work out, lose weight, and get healthy in order to have
an iota of an opportunity to attract anyone of the opposite sex ever again.
 You will be broke as heck. Which makes crazy night outs on the town an oxy-
moron.
 You won’’t have anyone to clean up after you. Suddenly you will realize how
distracting your make-up or razor clippings all over the sink REALLY are.
 There will be no one around to grab you a roll of toilet paper form the hall closet
after taking a dump and realizing the toilet paper roll is empty. In fact, you will
wonder if your spouse was right all along about whether you inability to chance
the roll was a personality disorder.
 You will have to pawn or sell your wedding jewelry in order to make rent.
  Cooking for one may seem like a dream come true. Truth is, there is hardly any
sense in cooking at all, and your entire diet will consist of cereal, toast and ramen
noodles. (Or fast food!)
 It could be years and years before you ever find someone to have sex with again.
And when you do, you (and they) may realize just how bad you have become at it
after years of complacency in the bedroom.
 You will re-enter the dating scene, 20 pounds heavier and with 2 kids waiting for
you at home.
 You will lose at least half your friends and family with one simple signature of the
pen.
 You wont have anyone to remind you to load the dishwasher, mow the lawn, or
that its trash day ever again. Which you will find out was sort of convenient in
hindsight.
 If you have kids, you still have to put up with your spouse. And somehow, now
it’’s more irritating than ever.
 All your friends are married.
 You will be able to watch anything you want whenever you want on TV, which
means you are alone, all the time. Then you remember the important dates like
birthdays and anniversaries and realize just how much you are missing out. Lets
not even discuss being alone on the holidays.

Funny. But re-reading the list, it becomes sort of evident that the pros and cons of divorce
are often a double-edged sword. While fantasies of offing your spouse because of their
idiosyncrasies may make you feel like you are rushing toward the edge of a cliff, at least
you have a purpose in life. And someone to share it with