Coping with anxiety during unsettling times:

Advice from a Clinical Psychologist

Advice from Dr Helen Care

Top tips for helping

an anxious child
 Top tips for helping an anxious child Some other great sources of information i
and guidance on worry, anxiety and youth
Advice from Dr Helen Care mental health are:
• British Psychological Society
• NSPCC
• Anna Freud Centre
We spoke to Clinical Psychologist Dr Helen Care to find out some of her top
tips and tricks for helping an anxious child to manage their worries.
Before reading through this document and trying the exercises with a child, try working through
If you feel that you or someone you know (be
Dr Care’s ‘Helping children understand worry’, which this document builds on. Read on for more
they a parent, child, teacher or young person)
details on what Dr Care has to say about helping children if they are experiencing some anxiety are at risk of causing harm to themselves or
during this difficult period. others, then it is important to seek immediate
professional help.

Dr Care uses the analogy of the ‘Lizard Brain’ in the two lessons below in order to make the concept of Seek an emergency GP appointment or
anxiety more accessible to young children. call 999 if you or someone you know is at
immediate risk.

Lesson 1 explains the ‘Lizard Brain’ – the Lesson 2 focuses on why we have anxious
primal part of our brain that gears us up feelings (why we need our Lizard Brains).
to flight, fight or freeze (or in this case run, This session also introduces some simple
rumble or rabbit). This session may help you to techniques that you can try with your children
introduce your children or students to some of so they can learn to manage any anxious
the physical symptoms of anxiety so that they thoughts and feelings they might have.
can start to spot when they feel anxious.

Dr Care has also provided five exercises you can try with your children or students. Dr Care suggests seeing
which exercises work best for your children or students and then encouraging them to practice those
exercises whenever they start to feel anxious

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Coping with anxiety during unsettling times: Advice from a Clinical Psychologist
 Top tips for helping an anxious child
Advice from Dr Helen Care

Learning to control the ‘Lizard Brain’

Introductory Session 1: Some dangers are:

What is the ‘Lizard Brain’?

Our brains are clever. They can do lots of brilliant things. We Things that might try and eat us!
can talk, read, do maths and bake cakes using different parts
of our brain.

There is a part of our brain, in the middle, which is our ‘Lizard

Brain’. The Lizard Brain is in charge of keeping us safe and out Things that might want to
of danger, but the Lizard Brain isn’t so clever at some of the tricky attack us!
things we need to do, like reading and maths. Every animal with
a backbone has a very similar part of the brain, including lizards!
That’s why we call it the Lizard Brain.
Things that might be dangerous
The Lizard Brain’s job is to try and keep us safe and protect us like floods, lightning and being
from danger. But it only knows how to react to dangerous things out in the snow all night!
like a lizard would! Try thinking like a lizard for a second. What sort
of things might be dangerous?

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Coping with anxiety during unsettling times: Advice from a Clinical Psychologist
 Top tips for helping an anxious child
Advice from Dr Helen Care

When our Lizard Brain spots something it thinks might be Our Lizard Brain has three strategies for keeping us safe. When
dangerous, it sets off a ‘Worry Warning Signal’. It uses chemicals the Lizard Brain sends adrenaline around the body, it is preparing
to send messages around the whole body to get us ready to react us to do one of three things to keep us safe: run, resolve or rabbit.
really quickly and keep ourselves safe. The main chemical the
Lizard Brain uses is called adrenaline.

The Lizard Brain wants us to run away from the scary thing or danger.
Run ‘Argh! There’s a bear!’

The Lizard Brain wants us to tackle the danger or scary thing head-on.
Rumble ‘I’m going to resolve this problem, not run away from it!’

The Lizard Brain wants us to freeze like a rabbit in the headlights.

Rabbit If I stay totally still, maybe the danger won’t see me!’

Our Lizard Brain may respond in these ways at different times. If there’s a bear coming to get us, then the Lizard Brain is very helpful
because it prepares us to deal with the danger. But if there’s no bear (no danger) then it may not be so helpful.

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Coping with anxiety during unsettling times: Advice from a Clinical Psychologist
 Top tips for helping an anxious child
Advice from Dr Helen Care

What does it feel like when our Lizard Brain spots a danger?
It sends adrenaline around our body to get us ready to run, rumble or rabbit! It does lots of things to our bodies that we might be able to feel.

What adrenaline does: What this feels like:

Heart – adrenaline makes the heart beat faster and send lots of
Heart pounding. Muscles feel tense
blood to our big muscles that we need for running and rumbling.

Breathing - adrenaline makes us breathe faster and harder to

Panting ,Breathing faster, Dry throat,
take in lots of oxygen so our muscles can work hard to run from or
Feeling like you can’t quite breathe enough
resolve the problem head-on.

Sweat – adrenaline makes us sweat more. This gets us ready for

Sweaty
cooling down after running or rumbling.

Stomach – adrenaline tells our stomachs to forget about whatever

they are doing – breakfast isn’t important if you are running away Feeling sick. Having ‘butterflies in your tummy’
from a bear!

Wee! – Adrenaline makes you wee more. This gets rid of anything
Really, really needing the toilet!
your body doesn’t absolutely need for staying safe.

Brain – adrenaline makes your brain only think about the Hard to concentrate. Thoughts about the dangerous
dangerous thing until you are safe. thing keep popping into your head

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Coping with anxiety during unsettling times: Advice from a Clinical Psychologist
 Top tips for helping an anxious child
Advice from Dr Helen Care

Introductory Session 2: Teaching the Lizard Brain to stay calm

Last time, we learnt that we have a Lizard Brain whose job it is to keep us safe. But the Lizard Brain only knows how to react like a
lizard! It makes us run, rumble or rabbit! Run away from danger or problem, try to fight back (rumble), or make-like a rabbit and freeze!

So, why do we need our Lizard Brains anyway? If there is a problem that keeps happening, stays around for a
Can’t we just get rid of them? long time, or feels really really big, it can scare our Lizard Brain so
much it goes into ‘Red Alert’! Red Alert is when the Lizard Brain
Our Lizard Brains are useful. They keep us safe when there are thinks there is danger everywhere and it starts looking out for
real dangers around, like making sure we stay out of the way of danger all the time. It can’t relax, and it can feel like it never sleeps!
fast cars, don’t stick our fingers in plug sockets and avoid any Sometimes it makes us spot dangers and problems even when
hungry bears we come across. They can also be helpful for some there aren’t any in the first place.
other worries too. Lizard Brains and their adrenaline are pretty
good at getting us ready to run races or concentrate until the end
Sometimes we have to train our lizards! We can teach them what
of a maths test. We do need our Lizard Brains to keep us safe.
is dangerous and what isn’t. We can send signals back to our
It’s just that sometimes, they aren’t so helpful. If the danger the
Lizard Brains to let them know when they are being helpful, or
Lizard Brain has spotted isn’t going to be solved by running away,
when they are not.
fighting back or freezing and hoping it doesn’t see you, then it
isn’t going to be of any help. The Lizard Brain can be especially
unhelpful when there is a worry that is really big or that happens a If we think about the ways our Lizard Brains work, it gives us clues
lot of the time. about how we can help them calm down.

6
Coping with anxiety during unsettling times: Advice from a Clinical Psychologist
 Top tips for helping an anxious child
Advice from Dr Helen Care Some other great sources of information i
and guidance on worry, anxiety and youth
mental health are:
• British Psychological Society
• NSPCC
1  e can use our breathing to send a signal back to our Lizard Brains that
W
says ‘I am safe. I don’t need to run away from a bear!’ • Anna Freud Centre

We can release some of the tension in our muscles and get rid of
2 
the adrenaline.

We can problem solve – that means actively thinking about the problem the
3  If you feel that you or someone you know (be
Lizard Brain sees as dangerous and coming up with better solutions to cope they a parent, child, teacher or young person)
with it, instead of fighting back, freezing or running away. are at risk of causing harm to themselves or
others, then it is important to seek immediate
professional help.
4  e can use our amazing imaginations to remind our Lizard Brains that
W
we can learn to feel calm, confident and ready to manage the problem. Seek an emergency GP appointment or
call 999 if you or someone you know is at
We can teach the Lizard Brain to calm down again and learn to live with
5  immediate risk.
problems that we can’t control or can’t make go away.

The exercises suggested on the next page follow these clues to try and help
calm the Lizard Brain.

Have a go and see which exercises work for you when

you feel your Lizard Brain taking over.

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Coping with anxiety during unsettling times: Advice from a Clinical Psychologist
 Top tips for helping an anxious child
Advice from Dr Helen Care

Exercises for managing the Lizard Brain

These exercises are short and designed to help control our anxious Lizard Brains. You may need to practice each of the exercises a few
times, so you start to get the hang of cooling down your Lizard Brain. Take your time and practice the exercises when you start to feel the
worrying Lizard Brain take over so you can see what works for you. Remember to be kind to yourself. Learning to control the Lizard Brain
can take some time!

Exercise 1: Bear claw breathing or Square breathing

Bear claw breathing. (Younger children) Square breathing (Older children)

Put a hand up in front of you and say ‘Stop! Is it a bear?’ Imagine a square, or look at something like a window or door
frame with a square shape. Count along the four sides as you
If there isn’t a bear or immediate danger, you can blow your breathe in and out.
bear claws away! Turn your hand around so your palm is facing
you. Trace up your fingers one at a time with the finger of your Breathe in through your nose for a count of 4 as you trace or
other hand. Breathe in through your nose as you go up the look along the top; hold your breath as you count 4 down the
finger and breathe out through your mouth as you trace down side; breathe out gently as you count 4 along the bottom, and
and fold the claw away. Do it with all 5 of your ‘claws’! hold for a count of 4 as you count up the other side, before
breathing in along the top again.

Repeat a few times, trying to slow your counting

down a little more each time. Keep your breathing How do you feel?
calm and gentle throughout. Has your Lizard Brain settled down?

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Coping with anxiety during unsettling times: Advice from a Clinical Psychologist
 Top tips for helping an anxious child
Advice from Dr Helen Care

Exercise 2: Squeezing and relaxing

1 Squeeze and relax your muscles to help all the adrenaline and 8 Now your arms. Make fists, bend your arms and pull your fists up
tension in your body melt away. to your shoulders. Hold it. And relax.

2 Start with your feet. Screw up your toes as tight as you can. Hold 9 Raise your shoulders up towards your ears. Hold it. Relax.
it. Then relax them out.
10 Now your face. First, grin like a great big Cheshire cat! Give a
3 Pull your toes up to the ceiling and feel your calves tighten. Hold really big smile. Hold it. And relax. Now push your lips out in a
it. Relax. fish face. Hold it. Try not to laugh! And relax.

4 Point your toes towards the floor. Hold it. And relax. 11 Now screw your eyes tight shut. Hold it. And relax.

5 Try and tighten your thighs. See if you can squeeze them tight. 12 Open your eyes really wide and raise your eyebrows. Look really
Hold it. And relax. surprised. Hold it. And relax.

6 Now your bottom. Squeeze it! Hold. Then relax. 13 Finally, make fists. Squeeze them tight. Imagine all the worry and
tension is being squeezed tight in your hands. Hold it. Now relax,
7 Pull your belly button in as far as you can. Hold it. And relax it out. spread your fingers wide and feel all the tension and the worry
float out of your hands and away into the sky.

How does your body feel? Have any tensions in the body melted away?

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Coping with anxiety during unsettling times: Advice from a Clinical Psychologist
 Top tips for helping an anxious child
Advice from Dr Helen Care

Exercise 3: Problem solve strategy

If you’re feeling worried and ready to run, rumble or rabbit, then something made your Lizard Brain think there was a problem. What
was it? If you can work out what it was, you can use your clever brain to get around it or find ways to cope.

Try these four steps to get around the problem:

1 Identify – what is the problem?

2 Investigate – what kind of problem it is? What is it stopping you from doing? Have you ever faced a problem like this before?
What do you know about it?

3 Ideas – what might help solve this problem? How could you get around the problem? How could you make the problem
smaller or go away?

4 Invite help – who could help you get around this problem or cope with it better? Ask them for help and get their ideas.

Sometimes having a practical strategy for solving the problem helps to calm down your Lizard Brain.

How do you feel after working through the steps above?

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Coping with anxiety during unsettling times: Advice from a Clinical Psychologist
 Top tips for helping an anxious child
Advice from Dr Helen Care

Exercise 4: Visualisation

Instead of letting your Lizard Brain make you feel frightened, worried or angry, let’s show it you can feel something much more helpful instead.

1 Find somewhere comfortable to sit with plenty of space That warm ‘I can handle this’ feeling starts to spread from your
around you so you won’t be disturbed by anyone else and tummy, down to your paws. Then it goes all the way past your
close your eyes. shoulders, into your head and out to the tips of your ears. You
notice how warm and confident and ready to try you are. You
2 Imagine you are a calm and confident lion. You aren’t feel ready to have a go at using your problem-solving skills.
afraid. You are ready to be clever and think of a way around
this problem. You aren’t bothered by a puny Lizard Brain! You 4 You notice yourself standing tall, ready to try and full
can get around problems and cope with anything! of the ‘I can handle this’ feeling. It feels great to be that
confident lion.
3 Imagine yourself standing strong and proud in the
African savannah. You have a good look around you. You 5 Then you give a big stretch. You put your front paws out,
notice the grass under your paws. The blue sky above you. You yawn, and stretch away any worry.
can see a flock of birds flying overhead. You feel the warm sun
on your fur. You take some nice, slow breaths, in through your 6 And in a moment, we will count to five and come back to the
nose and gently out through your mouth. You notice a strong, room where you really are. But you can bring that confident
confident feeling inside you. It is like a bright light. It starts in lion feeling with you and feel ready to tackle anything!
your tummy, small and bright, but then it starts to spread.

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Coping with anxiety during unsettling times: Advice from a Clinical Psychologist
 Top tips for helping an anxious child
Advice from Dr Helen Care

Exercise 5: Mindfulness
Sometimes problems don’t go away. Sometimes our Lizard Brain has spotted something that we can’t fix or something that we don’t need to
feel afraid of. We don’t need to run, rumble, or freeze like a rabbit. Instead, we just want to teach our Lizard Brain that it is OK. It is OK to just
be where we are and not get rid of the problem. We can live with the problem, or beside the problem, or we can wait until the problem goes
away. When we can accept where we are and the problem we have, we can be fully mindful. Mindfulness is about paying attention to where
we are and what is going on around us right now without judging it. It’s about letting go of our expectations and learning to accept ourselves
and what is going on around us, instead of trying to change things, run away from them, or tackle them head on.

1 Find somewhere comfortable to sit and close your eyes. Start 3 Now focus in on the thoughts going on in your head. What
by focusing on your breathing, feeling the sensations of the are you thinking about at the moment? Imagine you are in a
breath coming in and going out. cinema (or watching a big TV) and all your thoughts are like
pictures on the screen. Watch your thoughts go by. Try not to

PEUK A1835b Version 1.0 • UKS • May 2020 • DCL1:

Now, start to focus in and listen to what’s going on around get wrapped up in them, but just sit and watch all the different
2
you. Spend some time paying attention to the sounds. What thoughts that come into your head. Watch how they appear
can you hear? Are the sounds loud or quiet? Low or high- for a moment or two and then eventually pass by.
pitched? Try not to think about where the sounds come
from or what they mean. Just focus on the qualities you
hear – how loud they are, whether they are fast, slow, high- By learning to simply watch and listen to what is
pitched or low-pitched. going on around you, you can learn to tell your
Lizard Brain that things are. We don’t need to solve
the problem at the moment, we can just let it be. It’s
OK for things to be how they are.

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Coping with anxiety during unsettling times: Advice from a Clinical Psychologist