1/19/2021 The Rabbit Hole: Schizophrenia, Enlightenment

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The Rabbit Hole

Schizophrenia, Enlightenment
Some links:
G – Everything is connected, but some things lie closer together on
the infinite mesh of interconnectedness than others. This is the
Some Feynman Lectures
case with schizophrenia and what is called enlightenment. They are
Green Tips
two manifestations of the same phenomenon. In both cases the
Krishnamurti Foundation
mind has come to the end of conventional thought. There are two
The Teachings of Don Juan
possible reactions to this. The first is to let go of the mind and the
ego. The other is to try to maintain the mind and ego in the face of
the infinite, which is dangerous.
Blog Archive
S - Can you explain what you mean by “to the end of conventional
▼ 2009 (4)
thought”?
▼ July (4)
Schizophrenia, Enlightenment
G – Thought is limited. What the mind can know is limited. What
Leaders, Self, Freedom
can be known is infinite. When something limited comes up against Love, Ego, Religion
something infinite, it reveals itself as being infinitely small. Some Real Life
people, for whatever reason, have an experience of this infinity, ► 2008 (14)
this nothingness out of which all manifestation springs. When that
happens, their consciousness undergoes a revolution. This is what
happened to Jesus, to the Buddha, and to a great many more
people who we have never heard of. This is also what happens to
what we call schizophrenics, although their consciousnesses are
prevented from undergoing the same revolution due mainly to fear.
They are afraid—and this is not a judgement of them—of letting go
of their egos, of their thoughts, and of falling back into that infinite
nothingness that they have become aware of. Of course, it is
impossible to try to figure out infinity, and to carry the ego into

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infinity.

S – You're saying they are refusing to let themselves “go crazy”

and in so doing actually go crazy.

G – Crazy is a particularly meaningless word, but for lack of a

better one, yes. This analogy might help. Imagine you have been
born and raised in an empty reservoir. In this reservoir, where you
have spent all your life, you have gradually filled up a large bag
with pebbles. You have loved finding and examining every one of
these pebbles. They are your treasures, and you have put each one
of them in your bag for safekeeping. Over time you have come to
associate completely with this collection of pebbles. This bag of
little stones has become your identity. It is all that you know of
yourself. Then one day, when your bag has filled up and become
rather heavy, water begins to fill up the reservoir. First it is an inch
high, then two, then three. Gradually the water level rises. You are
of course alarmed. You have never seen this liquid substance
before, and now it is inundating you. You clutch your bag to protect
it from the rising torrent of water. Soon the water has reached your
neck, and you have become very frightened. Now something inside
you, some infinitely distant inner voice, tells you that you must let
go of your bag of stones in order to swim and not drown. What, let
go of your stones! What does that even mean? You are your
stones. If you let go of them you will be nothing. It’s almost better
to drown than let that happen. Now here we have come to the
deciding moment. You can put down the bag of stones and swim,
or you can hold onto it and flounder. The bag is your identity, your
thoughts, everything that you believe makes you who you are. The
bag is your separateness. You cannot keep it, yet many try to.

S – I think I see.

G – If you try to maintain your ego—which is all about division,

creating objects out of the word for the subject that you are to
interact with—then you are going to be overcome with fear. It will
seem like infinity itself is lining up in opposition to you. Everyone

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will seem to be out to get you. Everything will seem to relate to

you. Fear is the result of this.

S – So what happens if you let go of the bag? You become Jesus I

suppose.

G – No, you become what you are in essence, which is what Jesus
was in essence—pure love. You are that which has always been
aware of your thoughts, of your ego. You become the swimmer
instead of the bag of stones.

S – What happens then?

G – The thoughts will still come, and some of them will be very
strange indeed, and will seem absolutely correct. You may want to
cling onto them. If you simply let them arise and do not grasp
them, they will go back to where they came from. Now you will
begin to see what is, you will apprehend reality in all its glory. I
assure you, when you see reality, thoughts will become laughably
small in your awareness.

S – Ah….thanks.

G- You are, as always, very welcome.

Further Comments:

Letting to is the answer. Once the filter through which the world is
seen falls away (that filter is your conception of yourself), you are
free to see the world as it is. Holding onto ego in the face of the
infinite is, I am sure, the reason for schizophrenia. What awaits you
when you let go is complete and natural sanity. What we call sanity
today has nothing in common with it. I'm not saying the strange
thoughts will not still come, you will just see them for the dust and

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wind that they are.

It happens on its own through direct realization. The more clearly

you see the infinitely small nature of your thoughts--no matter how
strange and compelling--the easier it is to let them just be and
then be on their way. Do not seek to get rid of thought, do not
position yourself against thought, try to suppress it, squash it, etc.
Thought is a natural aspect of this experience we are all having,
but clinging to it and making sandcastles out of that thought is not.
Thought is not your enemy. Instead, realize the unreality of your
thoughts and relax. Let the rest take care of itself. It will.

Metaphors and analogy are just more thought. I hand you that.
Mine makes no more sense than yours as a thought. You cannot
plan your escape from fear, or thought, or anything unpleasant.
There is no process that can liberate you. Direct realization in the
present is all we have.

We think. "I am at level two because I have these spiritual

characteristics...if I can just replace these less evolved spiritual
characteristics with others that are more evolved, I will move up a
level, or even skip right to the top level...Okay, so how do I get rid
of these characteristics...what do I have to do, oh, why is so hard
to get rid of these characteristics?....Maybe I need a new guru,
another spiritual book, or maybe I should go on ATS and read some
guy's spiritual musings...etc, etc" You see how any structure
through which you must move, or which categorizes you, invokes
the through-based mind, and sets up internal oppositions which are
inherently self-blocking? Instead, the realization, that you are fully
complete here and now, with nothing to do but realize that, brings
you back to what is you seek. You find, ironically, by not seeking,
but seeing what is...

Fear of the loony bin is a very common thing...I've had it many

times. But when we realize that what we call "insanity" and "sanity"
are both though-based states, concepts, ideas, unrealities, we see
more clearly that there is nothing to be afraid of. Really, what you

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fear is only yourself, your true nature, which is nothing other than
an infinite expanse of love. You are not unkind, or evil, or devious,
or a killer, or anything which can be pointed to only by categorizing
the world and carving it up into individual thoughts. You are much
much more than that. As long as you are not buying into more
thought, you are moving towards what is, and there is nothing to
fear in that.

I do not claim enlightenment nor guru status, and anyone who

does should be looked on with a proper amount of caution.
Realization is a humbling experience not a self-aggrandizing one.
Anyone who tells you that they have answers which you yourself do
not have access to does not know what they are talking about.
Anyone who sets themselves up as in any way superior to you has
not realized. There is an egotistical side to spiritual awakening that
all must be aware of. The ego reasserts itself in a position of
spiritual dominance or superiority over others, and this is more
dangerous than an unawake individual could ever be. ...and of
course...sitting under a tree, or being up on a stage, or having
followers, or not having followers, or not sitting under a tree, and
all of that has nothing to do with what I am trying to point to. As
for the void, which you seem to be comparing to a kind of
conceptual emptiness, nihilism, etc, this is not the nothingness I
am pointing to. The nothingness I am taking about is only nothing
in so far as the mind is not able to grasp it. The source of true
kindness, generosity, love, etc, is that very nothingness. However,
when "good" works are only the result of wanting to "get into
heaven," or to be "well regarded," or to atone for "sins", etc, then
the source is the ego and mind: fear, competition, greed. These
undo the good deed before it is even made.

It's important to be aware of the difficulty and terror that those

with schizophrenia experience and not to diminish it, or to imply
that they are somehow less than because they have not realized
that they are not their thoughts, and that the universe bears no
fundamental relationship to their thoughts. To say that a direct
realization of one's true nature will stop the fear that schizophrenia

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inspires, is not to say that it is easy for schizophrenics to have that

realization. I am not talking about easy or hard, possible or
impossible...only what is. The problem is that the moment of
realization comes when the mind can be seen for what it is, and it
may well be that the speed and fluidity of the schizophrenics mind
makes this more challenging...but I would say that the realization
remains open to all because it is what we are. I have seen people
literally pull themselves out of schizophrenia with the realization
that all thought is illusory. For whatever reason, I have been
surrounded by schizophrenics all my life, it has been a kind of
theme--friends, family, and I have seen that this is possible.
Medication...very tough. Yes schizophrenics can live somewhat
normal lives on meds, but you still see it in their eyes. The infinite
expanse and the boggled thoughts, the confusion, is still very much
there. They do nothing but make those who consider themselves
normal feel safe, while taking the edge off the hallucinations that
schizophrenics experience. As such you may say they serve a
purpose. I feel the only purpose they serve is to maintain a
semblance of sanity for the sake of society and the comfort of the
individual and their families. Is this wrong? No. Is this right? No. Is
there another way...let's find out.

Connecting the dots as a compulsive behavior is indeed an

important aspect of the schizophrenic's experience. The search for
the real, the underlying essence. The problem is that this cannot be
found by stringing concepts together with cause and effect strings
(connecting the dots). You have a looking glass onto the infinite
nature of existence. Why you have it, I don't know. But connecting
the dots through infinity, where meaning is malleable, where
everything is possible, where everything bleeds into everything
else, is a futile and dangerous pursuit. Perhaps look at why you do
this compulsively (yes we can point to neurological influences), but
there is a reason you feel you must do this. I would say that you
have glimpsed something very profound, the ultimate thing, and
yet you do not realize yet that that ultimate reality cannot be held
and manipulated by thought. All you can do is stand in it, be
present with it, and know that your mind cannot touch it. When

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you know this in your very core, it is the deepest realization you
can have. Then the mind no longer has an engine to drive it. I
myself still have thoughts like the ones you describe all the time,
and there are still moments when I get carried away by them. But
the time it takes me to realize that I have been carried away by
them is less than it has ever been. To be carried away by a thought
requires your active participation, and there is a feeling of "making
an effort" that you can actually sense. With enough time, this
feeling to trying to think your way into infinity, of making an effort,
may itself become an alarm that wakes you up and out of it. You
are indeed the master of your universe, but don't get wrapped up
in the concept of mastery, or you, or universe. Know only that you
are in control

By saying that only a few or perhaps one person can attain full
awakening (whatever that is), I think you are creating just the kind
of beliefs that pose barriers to awakening. The mind is always
doing this, and it does not matter what it turns its attention to. It is
a concept machine, even when it is looking deep into a void. Even
then it will find ways to structure that void, to create something
that means something to it. This is futile, of course. My view is that
all talk of chakras, auras, levels of awareness (while they may point
to something that can be experienced) are limitations to
awakening. Best to drop all concepts, all ideas of a path, of only
certain people being predisposed to awakening, all of that stuff. I
think the link between spirituality (or reality) and mental illness is
becoming more clear. A fully awakened teacher may stand the best
chance of helping to push a schizophrenic towards self-realization.
There are more and more of them around. This bodes well for the
"mentally ill."
Posted by NR

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