Basics of Conflict Management

© Copyright Carter McNamara, MBA, PhD, Authenticity Consulting, LLC.

Adapted from the Field Guide to Leadership and Supervision.

Clarifying Confusion About Conflict

Conflict is when two or more values, perspectives and opinions are contradictory in nature and
haven't been aligned or agreed about yet, including:
1. Within yourself when you're not living according to your values;
2. When your values and perspectives are threatened; or
3. Discomfort from fear of the unknown or from lack of fulfillment.
Conflict is inevitable and often good, for example, good teams always go through a "form, storm,
norm and perform" period. Getting the most out of diversity means often-contradictory values,
perspectives and opinions.

Conflict is often needed. It:

1. Helps to raise and address problems.
2. Energizes work to be on the most appropriate issues.
3. Helps people "be real", for example, it motivates them to participate.
4. Helps people learn how to recognize and benefit from their differences.
Conflict is not the same as discomfort. The conflict isn't the problem - it is when conflict is
poorly managed that is the problem.

Conflict is a problem when it:

1. Hampers productivity.
2. Lowers morale.
3. Causes more and continued conflicts.
4. Causes inappropriate behaviors.

Types of Managerial Actions that Cause Workplace Conflicts

1. Poor communications
a. Employees experience continuing surprises, they aren't informed of new
decisions, programs, etc.
b. Employees don't understand reasons for decisions, they aren't involved in
decision-making.
c. As a result, employees trust the "rumor mill" more than management.

2. The alignment or the amount of resources is insufficient. There is:

a. Disagreement about "who does what".
b. Stress from working with inadequate resources.

3. "Personal chemistry", including conflicting values or actions among managers and employees,
for example:
a. Strong personal natures don't match.
b. We often don't like in others what we don't like in ourselves.

4. Leadership problems, including inconsistent, missing, too-strong or uninformed leadership (at

any level in the organization), evidenced by:
a. Avoiding conflict, "passing the buck" with little follow-through on decisions.
b. Employees see the same continued issues in the workplace.
c. Supervisors don't understand the jobs of their subordinates.

Key Managerial Actions / Structures to Minimize Conflicts

1. Regularly review job descriptions. Get your employee's input to them. Write down and date
job descriptions. Ensure:
a. Job roles don't conflict.
b. No tasks "fall in a crack".

2. Intentionally build relationships with all subordinates.

a. Meet at least once a month alone with them in office.
b. Ask about accomplishments, challenges and issues.

3. Get regular, written status reports and include:

a. Accomplishments.
b. Currents issues and needs from management.
c. Plans for the upcoming period.

4. Conduct basic training about:

a. Interpersonal communications.
b. Conflict management.
c. Delegation.

5. Develop procedures for routine tasks and include the employees' input.
a. Have employees write procedures when possible and appropriate.
b. Get employees' review of the procedures.
c. Distribute the procedures.
d. Train employees about the procedures.

6. Regularly hold management meetings, for example, every month, to communicate new
initiatives and status of current programs.

7. Consider an anonymous suggestion box in which employees can provide suggestions.

Ways People Deal With Conflict

There is no one best way to deal with conflict. It depends on the current situation. Here are the
major ways that people use to deal with conflict.
1. Avoid it. Pretend it is not there or ignore it.
a. Use it when it simply is not worth the effort to argue. Usually this approach tends
to worsen the conflict over time.

2. Accommodate it. Give in to others, sometimes to the extent that you compromise yourself.
a. Use this approach very sparingly and infrequently, for example, in situations
when you know that you will have another more useful approach in the very
near future. Usually this approach tends to worsen the conflict over time, and
causes conflicts within yourself.

3. Competing. Work to get your way, rather than clarifying and addressing the issue.
Competitors love accommodators.
a. Use when you have a very strong conviction about your position.

4. Compromising. Mutual give-and-take.

a. Use when the goal is to get past the issue and move on.

5. Collaborating. Focus on working together.

a. Use when the goal is to meet as many current needs as possible by using mutual
resources. This approach sometimes raises new mutual needs.
b. Use when the goal is to cultivate ownership and commitment.

To Manage a Conflict Within Yourself - "Core Process"

It's often in the trying that we find solace, not in getting the best solution. The following steps
will help you in this regard.
1. Name the conflict, or identify the issue, including what you want that you aren't getting.
Consider:
a. Writing your thoughts down to come to a conclusion.
b. Talk to someone, including asking them to help you summarize the conflict in 5
sentences or less.

2. Get perspective by discussing the issue with your friend or by putting it down in writing.
Consider:
a. How important is this issue?
b. Does the issue seem worse because you're tired, angry at something else, etc.?
c. What's your role in this issue?

3. Pick at least one thing you can do about the conflict.

a. Identify at least three courses of action.
b. For each course, write at least three pros and cons.
c. Select an action - if there is no clear course of action, pick the alternative that
will not hurt, or be least hurtful, to yourself and others.
d. Briefly discuss that course of action with a friend.

4. Then do something.
a. Wait at least a day before you do anything about the conflict. This gives you
a cooling off period.
b. Then take an action.
c. Have in your own mind, a date when you will act again if you see no clear
improvement.

To Manage a Conflict With Another - "Core Process"

1. Know what you don't like about yourself, early on in your career. We often don't like in others
what we don't want to see in ourselves.
a. Write down 5 traits that really bug you when see them in others.
b. Be aware that these traits are your "hot buttons".

2. Manage yourself. If you and/or the other person are getting heated up, then manage yourself to
stay calm by
a. Speaking to the person as if the other person is not heated up - this can be very
effective!
b. Avoid use of the word "you" - this avoids blaming.
c. Nod your head to assure them you heard them.
d. Maintain eye contact with them.

3. Move the discussion to a private area, if possible.

4. Give the other person time to vent.

a. Don't interrupt them or judge what they are saying.

5. Verify that you're accurately hearing each other. When they are done speaking:}
a. Ask the other person to let you rephrase (uninterrupted) what you are hearing from
them to ensure you are hearing them.
b. To understand them more, ask open-ended questions. Avoid "why" questions -
those questions often make people feel defensive.

6. Repeat the above step, this time for them to verify that they are hearing you. When you
present your position
a. Use "I", not "you".
b. Talk in terms of the present as much as possible.
c. Mention your feelings.

7. Acknowledge where you disagree and where you agree.

8. Work the issue, not the person. When they are convinced that you understand them:
a. Ask "What can we do fix the problem?" They will likely begin to complain again.
Then ask the same question. Focus on actions they can do, too.

9. If possible, identify at least one action that can be done by one or both of you.
a. Ask the other person if they will support the action.
b. If they will not, then ask for a "cooling off period".
10. Thank the person for working with you.

11. If the situation remains a conflict, then:

a. Conclude if the other person's behavior conflicts with policies and procedures in
the workplace and if so, present the issue to your supervisor.
b. Consider whether to agree to disagree.
c. Consider seeking a third party to mediate.

Conflict Management

What is on this page?

1. What do organisations use conflict management for?

2. Important things to know about "conflict" and "conflict management"

- The differences between "competition" and "conflict"

- Common causes of conflict
- Conflict between individuals
- Conflict between groups of people
- Conflict within a group of people

3. How to identify signs and stages of conflict

- "Disputes of right" and "disputes of interest"

- Stages of conflict
- Signs of conflict between individuals
- Signs of conflict between groups of people

4. How to build teamwork and co-operation (…and so minimise the possibility of conflict)
5. How to manage and resolve conflict situations

- Collective bargaining
- Conciliation
- The difference between mediation, arbitration and negotiation
- How to be an effective mediator
- How to run a mediation process

6. Outline for a Mediation Practice Session

- Introduction
- Opening of mediation
- Statement of positions
- Finding commonground
- Reassessing positions
- Reaching agreement
- Closure of mediation
- Assessment

7. Mediation Guideline: Code of Conduct for Participants

1. What do organisations use conflict management for?

For any organisation to be effective and efficient in achieving its goals, the people in the
organisation need to have a shared vision of what they are striving to achieve, as well as clear
objectives for each team / department and individual. You also need ways of recognising and
resolving conflict amongst people, so that conflict does not become so serious that co-operation
is impossible. All members of any organisation need to have ways of keeping conflict to a
minimum - and of solving problems caused by conflict, before conflict becomes a major obstacle
to your work. This could happen to any organisation, whether it is an NGO, a CBO, a political
party, a business or a government.

Conflict management is the process of planning to avoid conflict where possible and organising
to resolve conflict where it does happen, as rapidly and smoothly as possible.

2. Important things to know about "conflict" and "conflict management":

The differences between "competition" and "conflict"

"Competition" usually brings out the best in people, as they strive to be top in their field, whether
in sport, community affairs, politics or work. In fact, fair and friendly competition often leads to
new sporting achievements, scientific inventions or outstanding effort in solving a community
problem. When competition becomes unfriendly or bitter, though, conflict can begin - and this
can bring out the worst in people.

Common causes of conflict

Causes or sources of organisational conflict can be many and varied. The most common causes
are the following:

 scarcity of resources (finance, equipment, facilities, etc)

 different attitudes, values or perceptions
 disagreements about needs, goals, priorities and interests
 poor communication
 poor or inadequate organisational structure
 lack of teamwork
  lack of clarity in roles and responsibilities

Conflict between individual

People have differing styles of communication, ambitions, political or religious views and
different cultural backgrounds. In our diverse society, the possibility of these differences leading
to conflict between individuals is always there, and we must be alert to preventing and resolving
situations where conflict arises.

Conflict between groups of people

Whenever people form groups, they tend to emphasise the things that make their group "better
than" or "different from" other groups. This happens in the fields of sport, culture, religion and
the workplace and can sometimes change from healthy competition to destructive conflict.

Conflict within a group of people

Even within one organisation or team, conflict can arise from the individual differences or
ambitions mentioned earlier; or from rivalry between sub-groups or factions. All leaders and
members of the organisation need to be alert to group dynamics that can spill over into conflict.

3. How to identify signs and stages of conflict

"Disputes of right" and "disputes of interest"

Especially in the workplace, two main types of disputes have been noted (although these two
types may also happen in other situations). These are:

 "disputes of right", where people or groups are entitled by law, by contract, by previous
agreement or by established practice to certain rights. Disputes of right will focus on conflict
issues such as employment contracts, legally enforceable matters or unilateral changes in
accepted or customary practices. A dispute of rights is, therefore, usually settled by legal
decision or arbitration and not by negotiation.
 "disputes of interest", where the conflict may be a matter of opinion, such as where a person or
group is entitled to some resources or privileges (such as access to property, better working
conditions, etc). Because there is no established law or right, a dispute of interest will usually be
solved through collective bargaining or negotiation.

Stages of conflict

The handling of conflict requires awareness of its various developmental stages. If leaders in the
situation can identify the conflict issue and how far it has developed, they can sometimes solve it
before it becomes much more serious. Typical stages include:
  where potential for conflict exists - in other words where people recognise that lack of
resources, diversity of language or culture may possible result in conflict if people are not
sensitive to the diversity.
 latent conflict where a competitive situation could easily spill over into conflict - e.g. at a
political rally or in the workplace where there are obvious differences between groups of
people.
 open conflict - which can be triggered by an incident and suddenly become real conflict.
 aftermath conflict - the situation where a particular problem may have been resolved but the
potential for conflict still exists. In fact the potential may be even greater than before, if one
person or group perceives itself as being involved in a win-loose situation.

Signs of conflict between individuals

In the organisation leaders and members should be alert to signs of conflict between colleagues,
so that they can be proactive in reducing or resolving the conflict by getting to the root of the
issue. Typical signs may include:

 colleagues not speaking to each other or ignoring each other

 contradicting and bad-mouthing one another
 deliberately undermining or not co-operating with each other, to the downfall of the team

Signs of conflict between groups of people

Similarly, leaders and members can identify latent conflict between groups of people in the
organisation or the community and plan action before the conflict becomes open and destructive:

 cliques or factions meeting to discuss issues separately, when they affect the whole organisation
 one group being left out of organising an event which should include everybody
 groups using threatening slogans or symbols to show that their group is right and the others are
wrong

4. How to build teamwork and co-operation (…and so minimise the possibility of

conflict)

Teamwork and co-operation are essential in an organisation which aims to be effective and
efficient, and not likely to be divided by conflicting factions. The best teamwork usually comes
from having a shared vision or goal, so that leaders and members are all committed to the same
objectives and understand their roles in achieving those objectives. Important behaviours in
achieving teamwork and minimising potential conflict include a commitment by team members
to:

 share information by keeping people in the group up-to-date with current issues
 express positive expectations about each other
 empower each other - publicly crediting colleagues who have performed well and encouraging
each other to achieve results
 team-build - by promoting good morale and protecting the group's reputation with outsiders
  resolve potential conflict - by bringing differences of opinion into the open and facilitating
resolution of conflicts

5. How to manage and resolve conflict situations

Collective bargaining

Especially in workplace situations, it is necessary to have agreed mechanisms in place for groups
of people who may be antagonistic (e.g. management and workers) to collectively discuss and
resolve issues. This process is often called "collective bargaining", because representatives of
each group come together with a mandate to work out a solution collectively. Experience has
shown that this is far better than avoidance or withdrawal, and puts democratic processes in place
to achieve "integrative problem solving", where people or groups who must find ways of co-
operating in the same organisation, do so within their own agreed rules and procedures.

Conciliation

The dictionary defines conciliation as "the act of procuring good will or inducing a friendly
feeling". South African labour relations legislation provides for the process of conciliation in the
workplace, whereby groups who are in conflict and who have failed to reach agreement, can
come together once again to attempt to settle their differences. This is usually attempted before
the more serious step of a strike by workers or a lock-out by management is taken; and it has
been found useful to involve a facilitator in the conciliation process. Similarly, any other
organisation (e.g. sports club, youth group or community organisation) could try conciliation as a
first step.

The difference between negotiation, mediation, and arbitration

Three methods of resolving situations that have reached the stage of open conflict are often used
by many different organisations. It is important to understand these methods, so that people can
decide which methods will work best for them in their specific conflict situation:

 Negotiation: this is the process where mandated representatives of groups in a conflict situation
meet together in order to resolve their differences and to reach agreement. It is a deliberate
process, conducted by representatives of groups, designed to reconcile differences and to reach
agreements by consensus. The outcome is often dependent on the power relationship between
the groups. Negotiations often involve compromise - one group may win one of their demands
and give in on another. In workplaces Unions and management representative usually sue
negotiations to solve conflicts. Political and community groups also often use this method.
 Mediation: when negotiations fail or get stuck, parties often call in and independent mediator.
This person or group will try to facilitate settlement of the conflict. The mediator plays an active
part in the process, advises both or all groups, acts as intermediary and suggests possible
solutions. In contrast to arbitration (see below) mediators act only in an advisory capacity - they
have no decision-making powers and cannot impose a settlement on the conflicting parties.
Skilled mediators are able to gain trust and confidence from the conflicting groups or
individuals.
  Arbitration: means the appointment of an independent person to act as an adjudicator (or
judge) in a dispute, to decide on the terms of a settlement. Both parties in a conflict have to
agree about who the arbitrator should be, and that the decision of the arbitrator will be binding
on them all. Arbitration differs from mediation and negotiation in that it does not promote the
continuation of collective bargaining: the arbitrator listens to and investigates the demands and
counter-demands and takes over the role of decision-maker. People or organisations can agree
on having either a single arbitrator or a panel of arbitrators whom they respect and whose
decision they will accept as final, in order to resolve the conflict.

How to be an effective mediator

An effective mediator needs certain skills in order to achieve credibility and results:

 preferably a proven record of success in mediation or negotiation

 the ability to gain the trust, acceptance and co-operation of conflicting parties
 clear thinking in identifying the real problems and offering practical solutions
 knowledgeable about the organisational structures, strategies and attitudes of the conflicting
parties; as well as any relevant laws or agreements
 tactful and diplomatic with the necessary powers of persuasion and strong character to nudge
the participants progressively towards an agreement.

How to run a mediation process

The mediation process can be broadly divided into the following three stages:

Stage 1: Introduction and establishment of credibility

During the first stage, the mediator plays a passive role. The main task is to gain the trust and
acceptance of the conflicting parties, so that they begin to believe that he/she will be capable of
assisting them fairly as a person on whom they can rely at all times. An experienced mediator
will leave most of the talking to the disputing parties, but will listen attentively and ask probing
questions to pinpoint the causes of the dispute, obstacles to a possible settlement and to identify
the issues in order of priority. Once credibility is achieved and sufficient background knowledge
gained, the mediator may begin to persuade the parties to resume negotiations, possibly with a
fresh perspective.

Stage 2: Steering the negotiation process

In the second stage, the mediator intervenes more actively in steering the negotiations. He/she
may offer advice to the parties, attempt to establish the actual resistance point of each party and
to discover areas in which compromises could be reached. The mediator will encourage parties
to put forward proposals and counter-proposals and (when a solution appears feasible) will begin
to urge or even pressurise the participants towards acceptance of a settlement.

Stage 3: Movement towards a final settlement

An experienced mediator will know when to use diplomacy and when to exert pressure towards
final settlement of the dispute. Timing and sensitivity to personalities and strategic positions is
important to maintain credibility and avoid rejection by one or more parties in the process.
He/she might use bi-lateral discussions with individuals or groups and during the final stages
may actually suggest or draft proposals for consideration. In the event of a final settlement being
reached, the mediator usually assists the parties in the drafting of their agreement, ensuring that
both sides are satisfied with the wording, terms and conditions of the agreement.

The process of mediation is dynamic and finely-tuned. A good mediator has to be flexible and
inventive, must ensure that his/her personal values are not imposed on the conflicting parties. At
most a mediator can advise, persuade or cajole them towards agreement.

6. Outline for a Mediation Session

This is a session of at least 2 ½ hours. It is a suggested structure for a formal mediation session
around a conflict between two organisations, parties or groups. You should be flexible when you
structure a mediation session, e.g. a more informal mediation, say between two neighbours, will
need a different approach.

In this session, remember that you may want to be flexible with time, for example to allow for
translation, to allow each side time to caucus (speak among themselves) or to give the mediator
time to meet both sides separately.

It is always a good idea to structure a break in the mediation for people to have tea and get some
fresh air. So, to allow for things like breaks, extra caucussing and translation, you should try to
set aside about 4 hours for the mediation session.

1 Opening of Mediation: 15
. Welcome mins
Introductions
Agreeing to the rules and procedures

2 Statement of Positions: 30
. Each side presents their position (their point of view) mins
Summarise these positions from the chair
Allow clarifying questions
Allow responses

3 Finding Common ground: 30

. What is each side prepared to do - ask for practical mins
suggestions, possible solutions, etc
Take responses to these suggestions
Summarise commonground and add alternative solutions
 from the chair
(Note: if there is very little common ground at this point, this
might be a good time to speak to both sides separately)

4 Reassessing Positions: 10
. Give both sides an opportunity to caucus on how they feel mins
about suggested solutions

5 Reaching Agreement: 30
. Ask each side to briefly restate their position and say what mins
they fell about the possible solutions
Review the common ground and summarise any points of
agreement from the chair
Encourage agreement on the remaining points
Record and read back whatever agreement is reached

6 Closure of Mediation: 15
. Facilitate discussion on the way forward, including the mins
enforcement, monitoring and publicising of the agreement,
and the need for future meetings
Thank you's

1. Mediation Guideline: Code of Conduct for Participants

During mediation you need some rules on how each side should behave, especially if there are a
lot of people involved in the mediation.

This is a checklist of rules and procedures which you can get each side to agree on before you
start to run a mediation session. To save time, you can get the sides to agree on some of these
issues before you start the formal medication sessions.

 Trust and respect for chairperson (i.e. the mediator) and the mediating team (if more that one
person)
 Should there be translation and who should do it?
 Is the venue secure and neutral?
 Do the chairs and tables have to be re-arranged?
 Size and leadership of delegations.
 Should observers be allowed?
 Agreeing to behave in a polite and disciplined way.
 No blaming, verbal abuse or shouting.
 No physical intimidation (e.g. pointing) and violence.
 No presence and carrying of weapons.
 Should smoking, drinking and eating be allowed?
 No other distracting behaviour, e.g. caucussing while the other side is speaking.
 How long should sessions be?
 Equal time for each side to speak and who should speak first.
 Opportunity to caucus and consult when necessary.
 How should the mediation be minuted?
 What parts of the discussion should be confidential?
 How should the agreement be reported back to members?
 Should the outcome of the mediation be publicised and how?