Running head: PERSONAL NARRATIVE 1

Personal Narrative Paper

Christina Justin

OGL 482 Pro-Seminar II

Instructor Janice Lawhorn Ph.D.

October 28, 2019

Introduction: I was born

Every struggle in my life has taught me not to give up on myself. This is my personal

narrative, a brief memoir of my life. In my opinion I feel I started my life on a rougher path then

most, I was a month premature with some minor birth defects that required surgery three days

after life. My mother calls me her miracle child after almost dying in her arms. I am constantly

reminded that very event led my mother on her journey in her career being a pediatric nurse to a

doctor of nursing saving the lives of others. This was my unique beginning and a start to a life

full of amazing ups and severe downs that have brought me to my path in pursing my BA in

Organization Leadership. I have become a strong independent, conscious, humbled woman who

is proud of who she is.

Childhood Years

I was born into a mixed culture family, my mother being Navajo and Italian and my

Father being Mexican which made me uniquely cultured. Coming from two generations of

absentee fathers I was only introduce to my mother’s side of the family. I was raised around

predominately native culture, values, and environment. Being born into a poor family living on

the reservation it was an enlightening childhood. My single mother worked hard for us to have a

life she never had, this thought me the value of perseverance and a good work ethic to provide

for your family. Growing up there was plenty of normality like playing with my neighborhood

friends. My sister and I had the “Winnie the Pooh Space Jam Club” which met every week to

play and listen to music. However, at a young age I knew I was unique. I was very aware of my

surroundings and situation I was in. I was aware of my culture and my family, our social

economic status. In grade school I wanted to stay tough for my mother as I knew she always had

a lot on her plate. My sister and I had to grow up fast doing most of the house work and
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entertaining ourselves while she worked most of the day and night. I was private about things

that were a problem at school because I really did not want to cause any stress for my mother. I

would hide if I was bullied or if my sister was being mean to me so she could have peace while

she was at home. Being the youngest I was prone to getting picked on and having a small stature

from most I was often forgotten in a crowd of children. I had a very bad lisp and had difficulty

reading. I went to speech every day for three years from first to fourth grade to correct this

problem with a speech therapist. This made me very humbled and grateful that I was helped and

still and thankful today that the school I went to provided that service. During the summer while

not in school my mom would take us to my grandmother’s on the reservation. Here I would learn

to enjoy baking and crafting. I enjoyed playing outside in the dirt and hiking along the dirt trails.

I learned how to enjoy nature and all that is has to offer. Being around my grandmother who was

a strong woman who cared for a large family on a limited salary made me proud. She is a selfless

woman who cares for my uncle with down syndrome and always helps others when she can. She

is a teacher, a mother, survivor of domestic violence, she is a saint in eyes and inspiration. I was

honored to be a part of my family and learn from my native culture. Constantly being around

strong woman as a young child taught me the value of determination and striving to complete the

goals I wanted in life.

My mother I would say was a little bit of a workaholic and still is to this day. She worked

long days and would want to keep striving for new job opportunities. After my mother was able

to keep excelling in her career the atmosphere of where we lived got better and more suburban.

We moved from a small apartment in Mesa, AZ to a rented single family home in Ahwatukee,

AZ. This being a little of a culture shock to me as the diversity of our last neighbor was more

profound than this one. I suddenly felt uncomfortable in my own skin being a mixed minority.
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This would be a struggle I deal with all through my adolescence. Most of the children on the

reservation did not take me to be pure as I was too “pale”, and too “pale” to be Hispanic. Most

days on the bus I would be called whitey as I was the only mixed race person riding. Once we

got our roots down however, I was able to make many friends and enjoyed the time playing

outside as I did throughout my childhood. My friends accepted me for who I am and I did the

same as I did not see the difference between races. I was taught to be respectful to everyone, to

except others as they are which a value I still hold. We are all in the same boat in my opinion, we

are all human. About one year after getting acquainted in our new neighborhood my mother

joined the military which led us to travel more throughout the years. Seeing her motivation to

keep excelling only instilled with me a sense of drive and passion for new things.

Adolescent Years

With new transitions of my mother’s job things were looking great ahead, my sister and I

felt a great sense of security. Until a little after 6th grade year my great grandfather fell ill and

died of a heart attack. At the time they lived in a small town of Gallup, NM, my mother was born

and raised there but eventually most of her immediate family moved to Arizona where we

currently were. It was a devastating time for the family and the summer of that school year my

mother moved us to Gallup to help my Great grandmother. I loved the small town feel of Gallup,

everyone was very nice and humbled. My extended family welcomed us with open arms and it

was nice being amongst such a warm environment. Those several years were tough in

companionship, I went to four different school in the matter of four years, three neighborhoods

so it was very hard to make friends and maintain relationships until we ended up in this small

area. In Gallup the friends I made were lifelong. We made so many funny and deep memories I
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still cherish to this day. I would mostly hang out with boys and a few girls. Girls in middle

school are tough! Again being a mixed child still was not in my favor, most of the girls would

make me choose sides. Am I Hispanic or Navajo? Pick one. Either hang out with one of us or

none of us type of concept. So I just mostly chose to be with the boys since they did not care

about those things. They became like my brothers and taught me the true value of having friends.

This time of my life was very joyous teaching me values of religion by going to church

every Sunday with my great grandmother, this was a large value after my great grandfather’s

death. Towards the end of my time in New Mexico it turned very dark. Just like most

adolescence it is a very confusing time in life with many ups and down. I struggled with the

relationship with my sister as we drifted apart on the count of puberty and different interests.

Although we were only a year apart we were vastly different in adapting to our new life in

another state. I was thriving making friends while she was not, she was very angry and mostly

would take it out on me while my mother was away. I struggled with her verbal abuse daily

while trying to stay positive. This stage would be the first time I was depressed in my life,

feeling of not being enough, not doing enough to make them happier. This will be struggle I have

for years to come.

Eventually my sister would ended up making friends with my group of friends and the

environment got better. However, as that was finally developing my mother being a natural

worrier, saw us growing up very quickly in Gallup, watching us develop some bad habits she did

not want. She made a tough choice to leave my great grandmother and decided after at the end of

8th grade to move us back to Arizona. I was so sad to leave my friends behind, it was hard to

leave. This was a place I felt comfortable, felt like I was part of a group, I was very disappointed

going back and starting another new change having to make new friends again.
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We drove back to Arizona in the middle of July, back to our previous neighborhood. In

Gallup I developed a different style, different teachings for the past two years so by the time I

saw my previous friends we were worlds apart. Putting on a brave face I started off high school

rocky but eventually being my not giving up self I made friends and adapted to my surroundings.

I participated in Track, Choir, and Latin which taught me how to be active. The high school

culture I went too was far different than a small town. Many people did not really acknowledge

you unless you had a lot of money to be honest. The popular kids were the ones with the BMW

or Hummer cars in the parking lot. So I did not really fit in with those crowds and I felt most of

the things that they valued were very superficial so could not relate. I tried to fit in, spent my

money I earned on fancy clothes just so I would not be forgotten in a crowd. However, still in

my older age I do not still find materialized objects of value.

High school ended up being normal until my 16 year old sister got pregnant. This was a

shock to my mother who also got pregnant young and was trying to avoid the same fate for us.

Tatyana my first niece and was born in 2005, she brought so much joy in our lives. I was in

charge of watching her sometimes which put a damper on my social life. But I would do

anything for my sister and loved our family. In my senior year I was able to do part time school

and work. I got my first job at target as a cashier. I worked there for over a year folding clothes,

working customer service, cashiering, and even giving our popcorn in the food court. Target was

a foundation for me multitask and work with a corporation. I learned how to earn a dollar and

how to save my money. My first job I felt as if I had control of my life and I was accomplishing

a lot at a young age. I felt empowered and I liked having a break from home. In addition to

working at target my last year of high school would be a big change. That is when I met Chris,

my first husband. We met in art class on the first day of senior year and we were inseparable.
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This relationship was everything I obsessed about and we fell in love, after graduation we still

were inseparable and started planning how to live our lives after high school and what we want

to do.

Early Adulthood

Graduation day was a huge reality check of going into the real world. There was no more

security of school and there is an abundance of choices I could now pick. I worked at various

jobs, Mervyn’s and banana republic, but many of them did not stick. I eventually found I job I

enjoyed at Ulta Cosmetics, I loved being around make up and my manager was amazing and

nice. She was the first manager that I adored and thought I want to lead people like her. She was

very supportive and attentive to her staff giving them motivation to work hard and do new

things. I worked at Ulta for about a year and went to MCC to start off my classes. I wanted to be

a dental hygienist at the time and started with my general studies courses. I was motivated and

happy to get my life started after high school and excel to new heights.

Backtrack to one year prior…one day while I was watching my niece I went upstairs to

get her a diaper, soon I heard her crying in her swing so I rushed downstairs and fell down one

full flight of steps. I hurt my ankle but put the pain aside to help my niece stop crying. I forgot

about this event until now; after my first semester of college was completed that was when my

right ankle began to hurt. I eventually I began to limp. My mother took me to a foot specialist

saying I had nothing to worry about and it was probably something simple. Got an x-ray and

finally was able to see a doctor and got the news that I had a bone tumor growing inside my right

ankle. The doctor explained that I would have to undergo surgery with a highly trained surgeon

to ensure I did not lose any feeling in my leg. Being only 18 years old fresh out my first college

semester and never having any surgery before I was so scared of the outcome. For 6 months I
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wore a boot around Ulta working until my surgery was scheduled, they did not offer short term

leave so I had to quit work and school as I was not able to drive. The surgery was successful and

I went through 5 months of physical therapy to get my new artificial ankle and leg muscles built

up to walk. It turned into being out of work and school for eight months after the procedure. I

was a very depressing time for me and traumatic experience at the time. This life event taught me

many valuable lessons of what I can accomplish and how I need to take care of myself first.

After those eight months of being down and out I was able to find a job and get back to

my courses. I eventually got my job back at Ulta Cosmetics and worked there for another year

and in addition help part time job working at David’s Bridal. While things were looking on the

bright side I got a job opportunity as a Teller with Wells Fargo Bank and I took it so I would not

have to work two jobs anymore and spend more time with family. I was able to save up enough

money so my high school sweetheart and I could get our first apartment. It was an exciting time

and this was first time I worked for a financial institution so it was all a learning experience.

Unfortunately it was at the time when they merged with another large bank Wachovia so there

was a lot of mixed emotions with employees at the time. Most of them being from different

backgrounds they all were in a state of change which led to conflicts often with management.

This would be a job that I had the best and worse manager, it gave me my first insights to

the leadership traits I valued. There was one manager Antony who gave me inspiration and

helped me get through rough times at the branch, he helped me when I was busy and stepped up

to do transaction when I needed it. Needless to say Antony the store manager went on to bigger

and better things soon after helping on a district level. He told me you do not get anywhere when

you are comfortable, it is when you push your comfort you grow and learn new things. My bad

encounters were with my direct managers, they would not really take feelings into consideration.
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One time she made me cry and told me to stop acting like a leader because I wasn’t and would

not move up in the company. I felt like I had no other options since I was not looking for jobs so

I just stayed. I thought it was normal in this type of work setting, since everyone else was also

treated the same and did not speak up I thought this is just how work is. I did not know any better

at the time. However, this scenario only gave me motivation to improve myself and work hard

to be a better leader then they were acting. It justified my values of always being respectful to

others and treat others the way you would want to be treated.

Another transition was in the works as a year or so after starting working with Wells

Fargo I became ill and stopped going to school, the doctors did not know what was exactly

wrong with me. It was a long frustrating process of going to multiple doctors and specialist.

Some would say I am developing lupus, or another chronic disease. This would be a 4 long year

journey to get a diagnosis. Meanwhile I was still with my high school sweetheart, we had our ups

and downs but tried to stay together as it was all we knew. In 2011, I finally got some answers

and to move forward with my life. I was diagnosed with an auto immune disease called

Sjorgen’s, in addition to fibromyalgia, anxiety disorder, and osteopenia (bone disorder). This

made me lead to the realization that self-care needing to be a top priority in my life. I would then

learn how to ensure that I was constantly making sure I was doing what I needed to do to stay

healthy. I made appointments to seek counseling, to eat healthy, to take vitamins, exercise, as

although my diseases were not curable they are were able to be managed. Sometimes I felt

trapped by my body as I had limitations and boundaries which would often lead to frustration

being so young. Having stress would be my enemy and little did I know how to maintain a

healthy balance of my relationships, health, work, and school until later in life.
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Adulthood

I stayed with Wells Fargo for a total of ten years despite the rocky road, moving in to

various positions moving up until 2012 I reached Corporate Properties group. This was a call

center type environment where there was a lot of diverse culture with many employees. It was

also 2012 when Chris and I got engaged to be married and I started planning my wedding. The

type of environment was comfortable and predictable which I liked at the time. I was able to

reevaluate my life and go back to school to study nutrition to help with my own health and my

new husband’s. I stayed in that work environment for another 3 years before things started

looking dark. My husband and I were not the same after we got married. Granted it was never a

real fairytale story. Our relationship was every changing and we had been together so long there

was nothing new or exciting. We would mostly stay home and had little time with friends. My

husband was always angry and negative which I tried to combat with giving him the things that I

thought he wanted and what he said he was waiting for. Getting married, a new home, new car

etc. However, our marriage was short lived and we filed for divorce after a year.

This journey would start the ultimate turning point in my life. Being so co-dependent and

focused on building up a life to have it all crumble was heartbreaking. After my divorce I

struggled to find who I was and what I liked to do. I also struggled with getting my self-esteem

and self-worth up and fell into a depressed state. I almost lost my job from missing work, lost 40

pounds, was failing every class, I let myself go. Being the strong independent woman that I am, I

did not like this version of myself. I lost relationships, friendships, and I knew I wanted more for

myself for my new life. I went to seek counseling again to help cope with my vastly changing

life, being alone for the first time in my life, having my first own apartment all added to my

stress. That choice would be the best decision of my life as my counselor helped me in ways I
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could not even imagine I was capable of. I worked hard in counseling for over a year, evaluating

myself, seeing my unhealthy behavior, recognizing my abusive relationship, learning new tools

to combat my anxiety, learning emotional intelligence, and finding what brings me joy. When I

was finished and my counselor gave me hug this was the proudest moment in my life. I picked

myself up and the outcome was a new version of me. A strong, confident, and capable woman

who was able to do anything she wanted.

I felt empowered, I was happy and was sufficient being on my own. It is those moments

that made me realize my final journey of self-discovery. I chose to change my major at the

beginning of 2015 to Organizational Leadership. I wanted inspire others and show them that

regardless of what may be going on in your life you can always choose to become a better

version of yourself and learn from your choices. Leadership was something I was passionate

about and something that always came natural to me. The roles I experienced in my career

always went in the direction of a leader and people listening to my opinions and direction. This

has led to me the life I live now. I left my job at Wells Fargo this February as I got tired of the

unhealthy work environment learned from my OGL teachings. I was not able to grow any longer

and management did not provide any resources for us to meet our future goals. I wanted more for

myself and knew I had to finish my degree to do so. I recently got remarried in March and with

the support of my amazing husband I was able to finally have the time to finish my degree

without working full-time. We have two fur children and live in Chandler, AZ. I am very excited

to start this new chapter and looking forward to accomplishing my degree this December to find

a meaningful job helping others.

Conclusion: Reflection
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When I look back at my thirty years of my life I see a series of events that have shaped

me into the person I am at this exact moment. Despite my anxiety being constant daily, some

days worse than others, I never let it stand in the way of living the life I want. I feel society has

made this stigma of mental illness as a crutch or not normal, but I have been very thankful as it

has only pushed me forward in life and taught me that I can accomplish new versions of myself

every day. Reflection on my illness and diagnoses, it has only made me stronger and focus to

improve myself throughout the years. I would not be who I am now without my struggles and I

would not have it any other way. I am so humbled for my life and what it has taught me so far.

There is so much value and appreciation for the little things which help me cherish present

moments and memories. I could not be prouder of everything that I have accomplished and the

experiences I have witnessed.

My values could not be stronger at this moment in time, my cultural identity found, and

my goals clearly defined. I am a very aware person who is very empathetic to every situation. I

know me in current time I still struggle with finding my purpose to a career but I think just as my

life story has led me to this outcome, so will my career journey. I could remember those

moments in time when things were bleak and I knew in the back of my mind that there had to be

more, patiently waiting for that moment not even seeing they were happening in each beautiful

catastrophe. I will keep trying to strive to learn and become a leader who looks toward the future.

There is excitement to accomplish new obstacles and discover new adventures to experience. I

will never stop giving up on myself and I will keep pushing my limits to achieve meaning from

the life I am living.