LOCKDOWN

________________________

A full-length dramedy by
Julia Edwards

Commissioned by South Coast Repertory

This script is for evaluation only. It may not be printed,
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Lockdown © 2002 Julia Edwards
All rights reserved. 978-1-62088-414-0.

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 CAST OF CHARACTERS
ALICE, the quiet girl who reads the dictionary.
DARCY, senior class president, rule hound.
GARRETT, friendly surfer dude.
JEREMY, computer guru/ black market ringleader.
KATARINA, substitute teacher, loses it.
LEEANN, princess (chain-smoking, compulsive lying variety).
LEX, another righteous feminist bound for Smith College.
LILY, a.k.a., Crazy Lily, can hear Satan (or so she says).
MIA, theatre spaz.
MORGAN, retro chick.
PIGEON, painfully shy, frog advocate.
ROSIE, tough girl from Brooklyn, hates California.
SIMONE, wears black, digs Nietzche.
SQUID, anti-authority skater punk.
VINCE, Jeremy’s "bodyguard" and role-playing junkie.

PLACE
The "CliffsNotes Library: More Books, Less Filling"—a new
corporate vision of the school library complete with hidden
cameras; corporate banners (The Three R’s: Reading, ‘Riting,
and Reese's Pieces; School is Kool... Kool does not condone
smoking for children under 18); dorky posters (David
Hasselhoff Digs Reading, a computer generated 3-D poster of
a Big Mac); and so many computers these kids have just got to
learn something.

TIME
Soon?
 Lockdown 5

SCENE 1
(A SCHOOL BELL rings. The library clock reads 1:20 PM.
Several students are already present. ALICE, hands over her
ears, reads the dictionary. SIMONE, the nihilist chick in black,
listens to her CD player and reads Sartre's No Exit. LEX, a
righteous feminist bound for Smith College, devours the latest
Ms. Magazine. MIA, an eccentrically dressed theatre spaz,
practices a monologue to herself. A line has formed at the library
monitor's desk: first in line is LEEANN, the bad girl princess
who chatters on her cell phone.)
LEEANN: That is SO not fair—she is such a cow!... Oh my
God! That is SO gross!... OK, I'll be there at 7. Kiss, kiss!
(Leeann hangs up and makes another call. Second in line is
ROSIE, a recent (and unwilling) transplant from her native
Brooklyn. She waits impatiently. JEREMY, the library
monitor/ black market ringleader, enters with VINCE, the
somewhat disheveled role-playing junky and his right hand man.
They set up at the monitor station.)
VINCE: So Josh says he wants to kill these hyenas who
weren't evil or magical or anything and the Dungeon Master is
like: Dude, they're just hyenas.
JEREMY: Vince. Tuck your shirt in.
(Vince tucks his shirt in.)
VINCE: But Josh just starts wailing on them with his Plus-2
Mace. Isn't that messed up?
JEREMY: Yeah. Start loading up the cart. We've got to get
through Q by the end of the period.
VINCE: Check.
(Vince obeys his order. Jeremy starts tapping away at his
computer.)

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6 Julia Edwards

JEREMY: (To Leeann:) What can I do you for, Princess?

LEEANN: (Into phone:) Kiss, kiss! Gotta go! (Femme fatale-ish:)
I don't normally do this.
JEREMY: That's what they all say.
LEEANN: It's just that my boyfriend, you know, he's an agent,
you know, in Hollywood. He handles...big people. I
mean...Tom Cruise big, OK? I can't really tell you who he
handles, but—
JEREMY: They're big. Got it. Time's money and money's time
so let's cut to the chase.
LEEANN: American History mid-term.
JEREMY: Teacher?
LEEANN: Snook.
JEREMY: Ooh... That's not going to be easy. He keeps his
tests locked up pretty tight.
LEEANN: Can you do it or not?
JEREMY: We put a man on the moon; of course I can do it.
But it'll cost ya.
LEEANN: How much?
(Jeremy gives Vince the signal. Vince whispers an amount in
her ear; she's aghast.)
Do you take credit cards?
JEREMY: But of course.
(She hands over a credit card. GARRETT, the friendly surfer
dude, ambles into the library.)
GARRETT: So this is what the library looks like. Oo. (Acting
all quiet:) Sorry, studious people. You must be the Library
Monitor Man.

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 Lockdown 7

(He hands over a pass.)
JEREMY: What are you in for?
GARRETT: Yeah, I don't know, Mrs. Plant thinks I've got a
tardy problem and she's run out of other punishments.
JEREMY: Stamp him.
(Vince stamps the pass.)
GARRETT: Sports Illustrated?
(Vince points.)
You're a good man. Whoa—Leeann!
LEEANN: Garrett.
GARRETT: Who's your friend?
LEEANN: Never seen her before.
GARRETT: Tell her I think I'm in love with her.
ROSIE: Get bent, weirdo.
GARRETT: No, tell her I'm definitely in love with her.
LEX: Can you keep it down? Some people are trying to do this
thing called "read."
GARRETT: Lex—my Favorite Feminist. You better not be
hogging the Swimsuit Issue.
LEX: Believe it or not, I actually read things where women get
to keep their clothes on and maintain this thing called self-
respect. You should try it.
(Garrett picks up the coveted Sports Illustrated.)

GARRETT: (Drooling:) Oh, yes...
(Garrett plops down next to Lex, puts his feet up, and starts to
"read.")

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8 Julia Edwards

I'm sorry. What was that you said?
LEX: Seventy-two more days until college. Just seventy-two
more days until college.
(DARCY, the senior class president, marches in with her loyal
servants: MORGAN, a Retro Chick complete with poodle skirt
and every Sanrio accessory that's made it through customs; and
PIGEON, a painfully shy animal-lover, who juggles an armful
of posters. Darcy approaches Jeremy with passes outstretched.)
DARCY: Official Class President business.
MORGAN: We're here to hang posters for the prom.
DARCY: At Principal Walters’ request. Note the signature at
the bottom.
(Pigeon loses control of the posters and they all end up on the
ground.)
PIGEON: Uh oh.
DARCY: For crying out loud, Pigeon.
PIGEON: I'm sorry. It was the frogs. I usually smuggle them
out one at a time but tomorrow's dissection day so I had to
grab them all at once and they're getting a little rowdy. (To
frogs:) It's OK, guys, we'll be home soon. You want an olive?
DARCY: I don't know why I bother sometimes.
MORGAN: Because you care.
DARCY: I know. It really takes it out of me sometimes. It
really does. But—I guess that's what being a public servant is
all about.
(Jeremy hands back the passes.)
Come on, girls. Let's poster.

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 Lockdown 9

(Darcy directs Morgan and Pigeon to hang perky prom posters.
A second SCHOOL BELL rings. LILY, the punk chick who
comes from money but pretends she doesn't, slams into the
library just as the bell stops ringing. Lily walks past Leeann and
Rosie and hands her pass to Jeremy.)
LILY: Here.
LEEANN: Hey, Lily.
(Leeann taps Lily on the shoulder.)
Hey. Lily.
(Lily slowly turns around.)
There's a line, in case you didn't notice.
LILY: Eat glass, Leeann. Besides, I'm just getting my pass
signed. I don't need someone to steal test answers for me. (To
Jeremy:) Hey, can I have that sometime this year?
JEREMY: I can't make out the teacher's name. Who signed
this?
(Lily gets in Jeremy's face.)
LILY: It was that dorky history teacher with the blue cardigan
and the comb-over—I don't know what his friggin name is—
Moss or Jenson or something like that. What am I—school
personnel? Now, what do you say you stamp my pass, like a
good Library Monitor, and let me do my homework?
(Jeremy knows something's up—but would rather not get into it
with Lily.)

JEREMY: (To Vince:) Stamp her.
(Vince stamps the pass. Lily grabs it and plops down in a corner
and doodles Satan worship symbols on her arms.)

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10 Julia Edwards

I don't care if her father is the deputy mayor, that witch has
got serious problems and she should be locked up or seriously
medicated or both.
LEEANN: Please. I went through the "I'm as crazy as a French
film" years ago. It's so tired.
(Just then, a LOUD SIREN goes off. Everyone looks around.
Not alarmed—just annoyed. SQUID, the anti-authority skater
punk, jumps out from behind the stacks and runs at the door.)
SQUID: Don't let that door close!
(Squid's too late. Just then, every door, every window, every
drawer suddenly LOCKS. We're talking maximum security
lockdown here. Silence. Then the intercom kicks on with creepy
"soothing music." Everyone stares: this isn't the norm.)
MIA: What the hell was that?!
(The Automated Teacher Unit speaks in pre-recorded fragments,
each word at a different pitch.)
AUTOMATED TEACHER UNIT: Mia Safronski, one
afternoon detention for unauthorized word.
MIA: But I've got The Vagina Monologues audition this
afternoon.
AUTOMATED TEACHER UNIT: Mia Safronski, one
afternoon detention for inappropriate anatomical reference.
MIA: But it's a play—I truly hate this place.
AUTOMATED TEACHER UNIT: I heard that.
(Mia's about to explode but thinks better of it.)
SQUID: I'll tell you what it was. It's the SS3000 in full
lockdown mode. Check the windows and vents. I'll try the
doors.

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 Lockdown 11

(Squid's the only one in a state of alarm; he checks the
perimeter.)
Locked. Locked. Locked.
DARCY: That guy is so—

MORGAN: (Cutting her off:) Marlon Brando in The Wild One?
(Squid tests the windows.)
SQUID: Locked.
JEREMY: What's going on? My computer's dead.

ROSIE: (To Jeremy:) Hey. How long is this going to take? I
need a paper on chinchilla mating habits by seventh period.
JEREMY: Don't get your panties in a bunch, ma chère.
ROSIE: What'd you say to me?

JEREMY: (Frightened:) We're just having some technical
difficulties. We'll be right with you. (To Vince:) You're
supposed to guard my body, not stand there like a sideshow
geek. Now go see if anyone else is having power problems.
This thing won't reboot.
(Jeremy goes from computer to computer, trying to get a
connection. Squid checks the vents—they're locked too.)
SQUID: They've got the vents too. Hello? Is everyone on
Prozac or what?
(Vince tries the library door; it's locked.)
VINCE: Hey, the door's locked.
(Vince runs to another door; it's locked too.)
MIA: What's going on?
VINCE: I don't know. It's like everything's locked up.
SQUID: No wonder people go live in log cabins in the woods.

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12 Julia Edwards

(Vince and Mia run frantically through the library checking all
the same things Squid has already checked. Meanwhile, Leeann
files her nails.)

LEEANN: (To Rosie:) I love your shoes. Where'd you get
those?
ROSIE: In Brooklyn.
LEEANN: Where's that?
ROSIE: In Brooklyn.
LEEANN: Oh, like actual Brooklyn. That's so cool. I've never
been to New York. My boyfriend says I've got to go. Though
he says I've got more of an LA look so this is where I'll
probably work out of. But so many people are bi-coastal these
days...
(No response.)
So what class is your paper for?
ROSIE: It's for a stupid class taught by a psychotic man with
prison tattoos all up and down his arms who has us all
researching mating habits of various rodents for reasons
entirely unknown to me as we're studying Western Religions.
LEEANN: Oh, Mr. Motor. He's pretty harmless, for the most
part. Just don't agree to any extra credit.
ROSIE: I hate this place.
LEEANN: Just 72 more days to go.
ROSIE: Not even. As soon as my boyfriend gets his Camaro
running, he's going to drive out here and save me from this
nauseating happy-go-lucky mini-skirts-and-jamba-juice-mini-
mall land known as Southern California. All this sunshine
makes me want to puke.

LEEANN: (Not sure how to respond:) I like Jamba Juice.

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 Lockdown 13

(Jeremy can't find a working machine.)
VINCE: Jeremy?
JEREMY: WHAT!
VINCE: Everything's locked. Even the drawers.
MIA: Even the bathroom's locked!
MORGAN: The bathroom's locked?
LEX: The bathroom can't be locked.
(Now everyone is in a tizzy.)
LEEANN: You mean—
VINCE: We're totally locked in here. I mean, like, totally.
LEEANN: I think I'm feeling a nic fit coming on.
(She rummages through her purse.)
Does anyone have a cigarette?

ROSIE: (To Jeremy:) Listen, buddy boy, are you still open for
business or do I have to go through my other supplier?
JEREMY: Get out of my face, Scary Woman. The internet's
down! There's no e-information coming in or going out.
Check the phone jacks.
(Vince checks the phones.)
VINCE: The lines are dead.
(Rosie sighs and calls out on her cell phone. No signal.)
ROSIE: Oh great, no signal. This is just what I need. A failing
grade from Mr. Motor, the ex-con, rodent-loving, religion
teacher. My mother (may she drop dead and rot in hell) is like
totally going to cut off my long distance. Does anyone know
anything about chinchillas?

ALICE: (Reciting from memory:) A squirrel-like rodent
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14 Julia Edwards

(Chinchilla Langier) native to the mountains of South America
and widely raised in captivity for its soft, pale gray fur.
PIGEON: Oh, I love chinchillas. (To the frogs:) Oh, I love you
guys too.
ROSIE: I repeat, I hate this place.
(Jeremy, looking like one of those strung-out stock floor traders,
checks all of his phones, pagers, and electronic notebooks.)
JEREMY: I can't even call my broker.
VINCE: Are you OK?
JEREMY: Get off me, you fag.
VINCE: I was just—
JEREMY: Why don't you make yourself useful and tell me
what's going on out there.
(Vince shuffles dejectedly to a vent and tries to communicate
with the outside world.)
VINCE: Hello... Can anyone hear me? Hello...
(Mia bangs on another vent.)
MIA: Help! We're trapped! Get us out of here!
SQUID: I wouldn't waste your energy.
MIA: And why is that?
SQUID: WAKE UP, EVERYBODY! We're prisoners.
MORGAN: What do you mean prisoners? Like Ingrid
Bergman in Notorious when the evil German spies started
drugging her and Cary Grant didn't even know because they
were having this totally ridiculous fight because they didn't
realize that they both loved each other and she almost died?
(Mia starts hyperventilating.)

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 Lockdown 15

MIA: I just need everyone to know that I'm clinically
claustrophobic so if I start banging my head on the wall or
writing the same creepy sentence over and over again, just
strap me down.
LEX: This isn't an audition, Mia. It's just another computer
malfunction.
MIA: Have you ever been trapped in a well-used Port-O-Potty
for twelve hours in Tijuana in August?
LEX: Hm...can't say that I have.
MIA: Well, my Aunt Booty was and now she's doing time at
the funny farm.
LEX: Calm down. This isn't a Port-O-Potty.
MIA: No. It's bizarro Port-O-Potty. This time the bathroom's
locked. What if I have to go? I've got a very small bladder!
(Lex tries to calm a hysterical Mia.)
ROSIE: Oh, brother. Leave it to a bunch of sheltered rich kids
in Southern California to freak out about being locked in their
fancy school library.
(Distracted by the mania, Simone finally takes off her
earphones.)
SIMONE: What's going on?
GARRETT: We're locked in here.
SIMONE: Oh.
(Simone goes back to her music and reading.)
LEX: I'm sure it's just the stupid security system
malfunctioning. Like every other brilliant idea the school
board has.

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16 Julia Edwards

MIA: Like when they replaced the nurse with an automated
machine and she vaccinated that kid 200 times and he had to
go to the hospital?
LEX: OK, that's not a good example. It's more like when they
accepted the corporate sponsorship from CliffsNotes and
replaced our entire library collection with these noxious
yellow brain-drainers.
GARRETT: My favorite was when they banned all sharp
objects and we had to write with crayons for a week. Ooh—
check out Miss December.
(Garrett shows the magazine. The girls scoff.)
What? She looks like a very interesting woman.
LEX: Someone will get this hunk of junk back on-line and we'll
all be fine.
SQUID: This isn't our same-old same-old sucky security
system at work here.
LEX: Another conspiracy theory to share with the group,
Squid?
SQUID: If anyone bothered to read the School Board minutes,
maybe you'd know that they just installed the SS3000. AKA, a
little institutional security brought to you by our friends at
Northrop. Hello? Does anyone read anything? The same
people who brought us such useful items as...the Stealth
Bomber? Our tax dollars hard at work to make our children
prisoners of our own paranoia.
DARCY: Well, do you know how many tax dollars we spend
on graffiti vandals?
SQUID: And do you know how much we pay out in civil
liberties when we walk into our school?

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 Lockdown 17

(Squid grabs Morgan. She's both repulsed and intrigued: who is
this mysterious man?)
Look up there, what do you see?
MORGAN: I think it's that Baywatch dude but I'll have to
consult with someone who lived through the early 80s.
SQUID: Look into his eyes.
MORGAN: Oh! Is that—
SQUID: A camera monitor. And look at the 3-D picture of the
Big Mac. What's in the center?
MORGAN: Special sauce, lettuce, cheese?
SQUID: Look again. Smile. You're on Invading Our Civil
Liberties Camera.
MORGAN: You're crazy. Like James Dean in Rebel Without A
Cause who was so tortured because he felt different inside and
he thought Natalie Wood felt different too and maybe she did
but it was too late to save him because he was on a collision
course with danger.
SQUID: Maybe I am crazy. Or maybe we're all just one big
experiment. Did you know that one of the school's major
contributors is a medical research laboratory? Maybe in
exchange for our "education," we're giving ourselves up as
guinea pigs.
DARCY: Tell it to your parole officer.
SQUID: Just because I'm a delinquent doesn't mean I'm not
telling the truth.
MORGAN: Yeah, what kind of name is Squid, anyway?

SQUID: (Flirting:) Let's go out some time. I'll show you.
DARCY: Ew! You keep away from her, you animal!

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18 Julia Edwards

MORGAN: Yeah!
SQUID: We're all animals, baby. Some of us just pretend
we're not.
(Lily suddenly jumps up and sings The Sex Pistols' Anarchy
song.)
LILY: I AM AN ANTI-CHRIST!
DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT
BUT I KNOW HOW TO GET IT
CAUSE I...WANNA BE...
ANARCHY!
(Pigeon stares, mouth agape.)

LILY: (To Pigeon:) Don't make me eat one of your frogs.

PIGEON: (To her frogs:) Shh... It's OK, little guys. She didn't
mean it.
LILY: You know, if I had to spend another second in here with
you pathetic drones, I think I'd kill myself with a rusty fork.
LEEANN: No one's stopping you.
LILY: Kiss, kiss to you too, Leeann. (To Garrett:) What are you
looking at, surfer boy?
GARRETT: Why don't you go sacrifice some goats, Freaky
Satan Chick?
(Lily stands unsteadily for a moment, then composes herself.)
LILY: That's not bad idea.
(Lily heads for the door and tries to open it. It's locked. She tries
again and again.)
The door's locked.
JEREMY: I feel like I'm in a bad Star Trek episode.

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 Lockdown 19

VINCE: Yeah, maybe there's something out of alignment with
the space-time continuum.
JEREMY: You're such a stooge.
VINCE: I'm not a stooge.
JEREMY: Stooge.
LILY: What's going on?
MIA: We're prisoners of war. We can't get into the bathroom.
But hey, it's more material for my method acting class so what
do I care? As long as my bladder holds out and I don't
explode all over the library walls.
LEX: Breathe, Mia. Breathe.
(Mia practices her breathing.)
LILY: You mean I'm stuck in here with you parasitic zombies?
(Lily stands unsteadily for a moment, looks around, then
pounces on Simone's CD player.)
SIMONE: What the—
(Lily plugs herself in and starts rocking to the music.)
Hey. That's mine. Give it back.
(Simone tries to take the CD player back. Lily lashes out and
growls menacingly. Simone gets out of the way—fast.)
Did you see that? She tried to bite me. I swear to God, that
girl tried to bite me.
LEEANN: Great! We're locked in the library with
government-issued security, Crazy Lily went rabid, and I only
have half a piece of Nicorette.
(A STRANGE, MUFFLED NOISE from the vent.)
DARCY: Did you hear that?

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20 Julia Edwards

MORGAN: I think it's coming from the vent.
JEREMY: Vince. Check it out.
MORGAN: This is so The Haunting. (The original, that is, not
the cheesy re-make.)
MIA: This is so freaking me out.
SIMONE: This is so Jean-Paul Sartre it isn't even funny.
(Vince scrambles up to the vent to listen again. The MUFFLED
NOISE.)
MIA: What the hell—
LEEANN: Shhh!
(Vince stands paralyzed. On his face, a look of fear and
confusion. Silence.)
JEREMY: Well? What was it?
VINCE: I think...
JEREMY: What!
VINCE: I think...
(He tries to hold back tears.)
JEREMY: Come on, you fag, spit it out.
VINCE: You know...I REALLY DON'T LIKE IT WHEN YOU
CALL ME THAT.
ALICE: It was the kind of normal you don't recognize as
normal until things aren't normal anymore...if that makes any
sense.
JEREMY: Who told Dictionary Girl to talk?
ALICE: It was just a day. I guess you'd call it average. Like
one of those days when you're complaining about how unfair
the geometry final was and what a pain in the ass that kid

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 Lockdown 21

Lance is and when you go home and your parents ask how
school was, you just shrug your shoulders and turn on the
television to watch some stupid rendition of teen life written
by some burned out forty-something guy from LA. It was
just...normal. And then you hear this noise. I would say
gunfire but that's not what it sounds like because it's not like it
sounds in the movies. And normal is turned inside out like
one of those frogs in biology class. You don't know what's
happening but you do know it's bad and you do know right
then and there that it's going to take years to recover from this.
You're like: this is traumatic. I'm experiencing trauma. And it
races through your body like this terrible disease. Your heart
is in your throat and you think you're going to choke to death
if it beats again. And then you get this rush of adrenaline.
Like those animals on National Geographic who suddenly
realize that they're surrounded. Your legs start moving.
You're running faster than you've ever run before. You don't
even know where. You're doing this thing called saving your
life and your brain is completely off-line. And all of a sudden
there are these people there holding you and telling you it's
over. They're shoving pamphlets in your hands about Why
Bad Things Happen to Good People. And Where Was God?
Your teachers and your parents and all the politicians are
saying that you need to talk about this. And the only thing
you want to do is watch that teen show written by the burned
out LA guy and laugh at those evil cheerleader witches. But
even he's sobered up and he's writing about trauma and
violence and how to process pain. There's nowhere to go to
escape it. Except in your head. So you decide to pass the time
reading the dictionary and hope to hell that you'll feel better
about life before you hit zyzzyra, but you always keep your
running shoes handy just in case you hear the noise again.
Just in case you have to run for your life.
GARRETT: Well, that really clears things up.

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22 Julia Edwards

LEX: Shut up, Garrett.
GARRETT: What?
JEREMY: Can someone please translate for me?
MORGAN: I think she's talking about the shooting at that
school last year.
JEREMY: OK, my next question would be: why?
GARRETT: Or perhaps the question is: why not?
MIA: What's going on? Why are we talking about this?
VINCE: I think...someone's been shot.
(No one knows what to do or say. Blackout.)

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 Lockdown 23

SCENE 2
(Lights up. Later. The clock reads 3:40 PM. Everyone's numb
and on edge. Alice comes to. Lex tends to her.)
ALICE: Where am I?
LEX: We're still at school.
ALICE: Where's my dictionary?
(Pigeon fetches the dictionary.)
PIGEON: Here you go.
(Alice clutches the dictionary like it's a stuffed animal.)
Is she...going to be OK?
MIA: Yeah. If you think little padded rooms in institutions
where you can't wear shoe laces is OK.
LEX: She'll be fine. It's just her body's way of dealing with
stress.
(Darcy and Morgan are back on poster detail.)
DARCY: Come on, Pigeon. Posters don't just hang
themselves.
PIGEON: Oh. OK. I've got to—
LEX: Maybe she doesn't want to help perpetuate an institution
that gives horny vodka-guzzling baboons the right to grope,
puke on, and generally manhandle cookie-cut-out Barbie
wannabes in tight taffeta dresses.
MORGAN: What's wrong, Lex? Going stag?
DARCY: It's called a prom, for your information, and 99.9% of
people have this thing called "fun." You should try it.
LEX: Isn't that the same delusional percentage who think that
high school represents the best times of their life?

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24 Julia Edwards

PIGEON: Uh... It's OK. I like to help.
(Pigeon goes to work on the posters. Leeann paints her toenails.)
LEEANN: I can't believe this is happening here. I mean, this is
the kind of thing you watch on TV. And you're like: those
poor people.
VINCE: I wonder if our parents are watching this on TV right
now.
LEEANN: I wonder if they're going to try to interview us and
everything.
MIA: Yeah, Leeann, maybe it's your big break.
LEEANN: I've already got an agent. How about you?
(Jeremy looks out the window.)
JEREMY: No, look. It's a total ghost town out there. No way
someone's been shot. This place would be swarming with
cops and reporters.
MIA: I wish someone would make an announcement or
something.
(Mia bangs on the vent.)
We're in here! Get us out of here!
VINCE: What are you doing? What if he's still out there?
What if everyone is dead and he's going from room to room
looking for more innocent people to kill? Did you think about
that? Maybe we're just better off being quiet.
MIA: And what if there's no one out there and you just heard
it wrong?
JEREMY: Maybe it's too much Mortal Kombat messing with
your brain.

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 Lockdown 25

LEEANN: Yeah. What do you mean you think someone was
shot? There's not a lot of gray area there. I mean, what exactly
did you hear?
VINCE: There was this...strange noise...and then—
JEREMY: What kind of strange noise?
VINCE: It was...really...loud and...sudden.
LEEANN: Was it like a car backfiring?
MIA: Yeah. Maybe it was a car backfiring.
VINCE: No, it was different. It was—
JEREMY: You're not giving us a lot to go on.
VINCE: I heard someone scream.
MORGAN: Was it a man or a woman?
VINCE: I'm not sure.
JEREMY: Come on, was it high or low?
VINCE: I can't remember. It happened so fast.
GARRETT: Was it—
(He screams.)
LEEANN: Or—
(She screams.)
JEREMY: Or maybe it was—
(He screams.)
MIA: Or—
(She screams.)
VINCE: I KNOW WHAT I HEARD.
GARRETT: OK...I'm glad we got that settled.

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26 Julia Edwards

(Rosie tries the bathroom door again.)
ROSIE: Does anyone have the key for this thing? Hey. What
are we supposed to do if we have to go? Hello?
(Squid holds out a can of Coke.)
SQUID: You can borrow this.
ROSIE: I knew I shouldn't have come in the stupid library.
Open up!
(Garrett spritzes his mouth with breath freshener and approaches
Rosie.)
GARRETT: Step aside, damsel in distress. (Trying the door:)
Hm. This is locked.
ROSIE: Thanks for the Obvious Report.
GARRETT: Hey, uh, maybe after we get out of here we
could—
ROSIE: My boyfriend can bench press 225 pounds.
GARRETT: OK...I'll see ya around.
(Simone's still reading. Mia approaches.)
MIA: How can you just sit there and read?
SIMONE: What should I do?
MIA: I don't know. Have a reaction?
SIMONE: Should I hug you and cry and pretend that we
actually like each other?
MIA: You know what's wrong with this world?
SIMONE: People like you think you know what's wrong with
this world?
MIA: What is your problem?

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 Lockdown 27

SIMONE: I don't have one. Life sucks and then you die. So
this moment is no better or worse than the next moment.
MIA: And I suppose if someone ran in here with a gun, you'd
just sit there and read your stupid book.
SIMONE: It's Jean Paul Sartre's No Exit.

MIA: (Imitates the French, badly:) Whatever that is.
SIMONE: Read much? It's about three people who don't
know each other and don't like each other and they're locked
in this room together. Only it's not an ordinary room. It's hell.
And they're never going to get out. Ironic, huh?
MIA: I just think it's really sad how much you hate yourself.
SIMONE: I don't hate myself. I'm just not hung up on death.
That's the problem with the world. Everyone is so afraid of
death, life becomes a living hell. Why do you think people
buy guns and shoot each other?
MIA: And I guess you think it's OK just to run around killing
people?!
SIMONE: No, I'm just saying I understand the urge!
GARRETT: Girls, GIRLS! Let's put our claws away. No cat
fights allowed in the library. Wait a minute, everyone. Genius
has struck. If only we had a giant pit of Jello we could have
girl-on-girl wrestling.
(The intercom kicks on.)
PRINCIPAL'S VOICE: Everything is fine. I repeat,
everything is fine.
LEX: See?
(Then, a song from The Sound of Music plays over the
intercom.)
SQUID: And the hills are alive with the sound of music.
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28 Julia Edwards

DARCY: Was that Principal Walters?
MORGAN: It didn't sound like Principal Walters.
LEEANN: Maybe he's being held hostage.
MIA: Maybe he's been killed.
SQUID: We can always hope.
(Pause while people take this in.)
DARCY: You better take that back.
SQUID: What.
DARCY: That's an incredibly inappropriate, insensitive, and,
and, and unpatriotic thing to say.

SQUID: (With Hitler salute:) Yes, mon Fürer!

DARCY: (Aghast:) The last thing we need at a time like this is
sarcasm.
SIMONE: Yeah, and while we're at it, let's get rid of the poets,
philosophers, and those pesky Jews.

DARCY: (More aghast-ness:) I am trying to give us direction
and purpose to guide us through this difficult time. It is
imperative that we stand unified against evil-doers and
remember who we are and what we're made of.
SQUID: And who put you in charge?
DARCY: The student body did, mister.
SQUID: We're not falling for that old line anymore. We all
know the real question is: who won the popular vote?
GARRETT: I call for a new vote!
LEX: Yeah. Just because you're president out there, doesn't
mean you should be president in here.

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 Lockdown 29

DARCY: What are you talking about? I won! I'm the
president!
SIMONE: You do know you're not a real President, right?
GARRETT: New vote! New vote! New vote!
(People chant along.)
DARCY: Fine! You want one of these losers to be your
president, be my guest. Let's see...should it be the Satan
worshiper or the juvenile delinquent? Hmm...
MORGAN: Oo! I'll run.
DARCY: Perfect! Let's have Morgan in charge and if
something really terrible happens, she can tell us which Hello
Kitty accessories to wear. She won't know thing number one
about the code book or about evacuation procedure, but she
will be able to reference stupid old movies that no one in this
generation has heard of until we all go clinically insane!

SQUID: (Sneezes to cover:) Bitch.
GARRETT: OK. My money's on Darcy in the Jello pit.
(Morgan tries hard not to cry.)
MORGAN: You're just like that evil woman in All About Eve
who acts like she's everybody's best friend and all the time,
she's really sabotaging everyone and in the end she becomes
this famous star but she's all alone and everyone hates her
because she'll do anything to claw her way to the top.
SQUID: I saw that.
MORGAN: Yeah, Bette Davis kicked ass, didn't she?
LEEANN: I think Darcy's right. Not about being a bitch, but
we need someone in charge figuring out how to get out of
here. No offense to you all, but I've got a screening to get to.

ROSIE: (To Squid:) What about you?
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30 Julia Edwards

SQUID: Who...me?
ROSIE: You're all acting like you know what's going on.
SQUID: Nothing we can do but wait. It's all a part of...The
Experiment.
ROSIE: What are you, the eccentric cry-for-help cousin from
Disney Teen Crap TV or something?
SQUID: What? We're locked in by the Department of
Defense. You can't just trip the locks.
JEREMY: Yes, you can.
(Everyone looks at Jeremy.)
Code is man-made and what is man-made is made to be
broken.
ROSIE: Well, get to it, computer geek.
JEREMY: Hacker. I'm a hacker, thank you very much.
ROSIE: Open the door and I'll call you the Dali Lama.
SQUID: That's funny. I thought people who programmed the
intercom system to burp the Star Spangled Banner were called
crackers, not hackers.
GARRETT: You did that? That was a good one. I really
appreciated the humor in that.
JEREMY: Oh yeah? You show me a cracker who can set up
and run a modified UNIX system without any help. It's the
hackers of this world who built the internet. It's the hackers
who make the global economy spin. It's like one gigantic
spider web out there and it's the hackers who are the silk
spinners. Without us, the world as we know it would cease to
exist.
ROSIE: What are you? Superman's arch villain? We don't
need to take over the world, we need to open the friggin' door.
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 Lockdown 31

JEREMY: Come on, Vince. Let's crack this walnut.
(Vince doesn't move.)
Yo, earth to Vince. Hey, gay boy. Quit your crying and let's
get moving.
LEX: He said don't call him that.
JEREMY: Why don't you shave your armpits and stay out of
it.
LEX: Because I can't tolerate little men with little egos taking
their little aggressions out on other people because they just
don't—how do you say—measure up? And if I have to skip
all my classes and fail out of school just so I can follow you
around, I'll do it. And the next time I hear one of those little
remarks coming out of your little mouth, I'll teach you a lesson
the old fashioned way.
LEEANN: You go, girl.
JEREMY: What is it, gay pride day? Whatever. I don't need
anyone's help. Never have, never will.
(Jeremy drags out his laptop and starts to tap away. Everyone's
quiet except Lily who croons to her music.)
PIGEON: Maybe...someone should...tell her...what's going
on...
GARRETT: Count me out.
SIMONE: Get my CD player back while you're at it.
LEEANN: It's not like she's going to care.
LEX: How do you know?
LEEANN: I've known that girl since we were in pre-school
and the only thing she cares about is pissing off her parents
because she thinks they owe her.

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32 Julia Edwards

SQUID: For what? Having so much money?
LEEANN: How should I know? But I swear, every year it's a
new thing. Last year it was Jesus; this year it's Satan. Totally
freaks out her parents.
LEX: I'll tell her.
(Lex approaches, Lily continues to sing, completely oblivious.
Lex taps her on the shoulder.)
LILY: What do you want?
LEX: We just thought you should know what's going on.
(No response.)
LEX: Well. We're locked in the library and—
LILY: I know that.
LEX: And...Vince thinks he may have heard a gunshot. We
don't know for sure what's happened, but it doesn't look good.
(Lily suddenly pops to her feet.)
LILY: Are you happy about this, Lex?
LEX: What?
LILY: We all know about your ways.
LEX: Whatever. Now you know.
(Lex walks away but Lily aggressively pursues her.)
LILY: Sounds to me like God is sick and tired of people like
you running around acting any old way you please.
MIA: You don't know anything about God, Lily. So why don't
you shut up?
LEEANN: Yeah. The Children of the Corn routine is wearing
way thin.

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 Lockdown 33

LILY: Sounds to me like your little God has given up on all
you Pop 40 pukes.
(Lily becomes increasingly belligerent, her speech slurred.)
Think about it. The shootings? The bombings? The germ
warfare? This is it. This is the end. And you know what? I'm
GLAD. I'm so sick of this place.
(Garrett tries to escort her away.)
GARRETT: OK, back into the drunk tank with you.
(As she continues to rant, Garrett and others begin to boo.
Darcy, meanwhile, tries to quiet people down. This is a library
after all.)
LILY: Everyone can just blow each other up for all I care. Tell
the terrorists we're over here. Tell the off-balance lunatics
living in the woods, tell all the serial-killers, and the Neo-Nazi
rednecks that their day has come. They. Shall. Inherit. The
Earth. Because your God gave up on you so long ago, you
can't even remember what He looks like.
(Lily's drowned out.)
LEEANN: I told you.
(Darcy inspects the Automated Teacher Unit.)
DARCY: Oh. My. God. Someone has tampered with the
Automated Teacher Unit. I wonder who that was...Squid?
That's a Class One offense, you know. Mandatory suspension.
It's in the student handbook.
(Darcy knocks the side of the Automated Teacher which revs
back up.)
AUTOMATED TEACHER UNIT: Mia Safronski, one
afternoon detention... Mia Safronski, one afternoon
detention... (etc.)

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34 Julia Edwards

MIA: Why is that thing always picking on me?
DARCY: If someone doesn't confess to this act of overt
vandalism, I will be forced to take down everyone's name.
GARRETT: Shut that thing up, Darcy.
ROSIE: Yeah. Or I'll do it for you.
DARCY: So be it. Everyone will suffer because of one person's
cowardice.
(Darcy writes down names. Simone gets up and walks over to
the A.T.)
Ah, Simone... Do you have something to confess?
SIMONE: Yeah. I confess this noise irritates me.
(Simone wails on the A.T. with a giant SAT prep book.)
DARCY: Hey—you can't do that.
SIMONE: But I can. Look.
(Simone smacks the A.T. again and again.)
DARCY: That is...so...against the rules.
SIMONE: Rules? Whose rules? Their rules? I don't really
care about their rules any more. I'm only interested in my
rules. And it's against my rules to lock us in the library for
hours and hours. And it's against my rules to spy on us with
hidden cameras, to search our lockers with police dogs, and to
monitor drug use through modern toilet technology.
DARCY: Step away from the A.T. or I will be forced to report
your destructive and antisocial behaviors to the school
counselor.
SIMONE: Do you know what else is against my rules?
Annoying nitpicking rule hounds are against my rules. I'm

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 Lockdown 35

afraid I have to report anyone who reports anyone because I
am morally offended by tow-the-line tattletales.
GARRETT: Whoee! I'll tell you all what, I can't promise that
I'll get you guys out of here but once we're out, I'll throw the
best party you've ever seen. And you better believe we'll have
barely clad ladies in a giant pit of Jello fighting like cats all
night long.
LEX: Does every word that comes out of your mouth have to
be so sexist?
GARRETT: Oh, yeah. And one lesbian lumberjack for Lex
Luther.
(Lex tries to control her anger.)
LEX: You are so painfully ignorant, I almost feel sorry for you.
(It doesn't work. She smacks him. They struggle. Total
cacophony.)
PIGEON: Oh. Hey. Come on. Hey. You guys.
GARRETT: You're pretty strong for a girl.
MIA: You get him, Lex.
SQUID: Anarchy!
DARCY: Fisticuffs in the library is a Class Two offense.
MORGAN: Girl power!
VINCE: Would you quit making so much noise. He'll hear us.
PIGEON: WHY DOESN'T EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP?

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