Ratatouille Script
Ratatouille Script
Ratatouille Script
Screenwriter :
Brad Bird
Original Story by
Jan Pinkava, Jim Capobianco, Brad Bird
T.V. NARRATOR
Although each of the world’s
countries would like to dispute
this fact, we French know the
truth; the best food in the World
is made in France. The best food in
France is made in Paris, and the
best food in Paris, some say, is
made by Chef Auguste Gusteau.
EGO
Amusing title, “Anyone Can Cook”.
What’s even more amusing is that
Gusteau actually seems to believe
it. I, on the other hand, take
cooking seriously and no-- I don’t
think “anyone” can do it...
A PIXAR FILM
2.
RATATOUILLE
REMY (V.O.)
This is me. I think it’s apparent I
need to rethink my life a little
bit. What’s my problem? First of
all--
REMY (V.O.)
And secondly-- I have a highly
developed sense of taste and smell.
REMY
(sniffing Napoleon)
Flour, eggs, sugar, vanilla bean,
small twist of lemon...
EMILE
You can smell all that? Wow. You
have a gift.
REMY (V.O.)
This is Emile. My brother. He’s
easily impressed.
DJANGO
So you can smell ingredients. So
what?
REMY (V.O.)
This is my Dad. He’s never
impressed. He also happens to be
the leader of our clan.
REMY (V.O.)
So what’s wrong with having highly
developed senses?
REMY
Whoa whoa whoa! DON’T EAT THAT!!
4.
Still holding the APPLE CORE, Remy sniffs the air, following
a scent to a tarp in the corner. He lifts it, REVEALING: a
can of RAT POISON. The other rats REACT. Django’s impressed.
REMY (V.O.)
Turns out that funny smell was rat
poison. Suddenly Dad didn’t think
my talent was useless. I was
feeling pretty good about my gift.
Until Dad gave me a job--
REMY (V.O.,CONT’)
--that’s right-- “poison checker”.
REMY
(sniffs before each one)
Clean... clean... clean-erino...
cleaneriffic... close to Godliness--
REMY (CONT’D)
--which means “clean”. You know--
“Cleanliness is... close to--?”
(no response)
REMY (CONT’D)
...never mind. Move on...
The rat moves on. Remy rolls resumes his bored inspection.
REMY (V.O.)
Well, it made my Dad proud.
DJANGO
Now don’t you feel better, Remy?
You’ve helped a noble cause.
REMY
Noble? We’re thieves, Dad. And what
we’re stealing is-- let’s face it,
garbage.
DJANGO
It isn’t stealing if no one wants
it.
REMY
If no one wants it, why are we
stealing it?
REMY (V.O.)
Let’s just say we have different
points of view.
ATTIC - NIGHT
REMY (V.O.)
But to my Dad--
DJANGO
Food is fuel. You get picky about
what you put in the tank, your
engine is gonna die. Now shut up
and eat your garbage.
REMY
If we’re going to be thieves, why
not steal the good stuff in the
kitchen? Where nothing is poisoned.
6.
DJANGO
First of all; we are NOT thieves.
Secondly; Stay out of the kitchen
and away from the humans. It’s
dangerous.
Remy watches the farmhouse, drawn to the warm light and the
sounds emanating from inside.
REMY (V.O.)
I know I’m supposed to hate humans.
But there’s something about them...
FARMHOUSE - KITCHEN
REMY (V.O.)
Gusteau was right. Each flavor was
totally unique.
REMY (CONT’D)
-and something new was created.
A light SNAPS ON, breaking the spell. The OLD LADY has
awakened. Remy drops the food and scampers away.
FIELD - DAY
REMY (V.O.)
So now I had a secret life. The
only one who knew about it was
Emile.
REMY
Emile! Psst- hey, Emile--!
REMY
(giddy)
Look! I found a mushroom! Come on,
you’re good at hiding food, help me
find a good place to put this!
REMY (V.O.)
He doesn’t under-stand me, but I
can be myself around him...
EMILE
Why are you walking like that?
8.
REMY
I don’t want to constantly have to
wash my paws. Do you ever think
about how we walk on the same paws
that we handle food with? Do you
ever think about what we put into
our mouths??
EMILE
All the time.
REMY
(he shudders)
When I eat, I don’t want to taste
everywhere my paws have been.
EMILE
Well, okay. But if Dad sees you
walking like that... he’s not gonna
like it.
REMY
What have you got there?
REMY
Cheese?? You found CHEESE? And not
just any cheese- Tomme De Chevre de
Pays! That would go beautifully
with my mushroom!! And! And and and-
REMY (CONT’D)
--this rosemary!! With, maybe with--
REMY (CONT’D)
-a few drops from this sweet grass!
EMILE
Well... throw it on the pile I
guess, and we’ll--
REMY
We don’t want to throw this in with
the garbage! This is special!
9.
EMILE
But we gotta return to the colony
before sundown or Dad’s gonna--
REMY
Emile! There are possibilities
unexplored here. We’ve gotta cook
this! Now, exactly how we cook this
is the real questi--
Remy STOPS, his gaze locking on the SMOKING CHIMNEY atop the
farmhouse roof. He GRINS.
REMY (CONT’D)
--ooooohh yeah. Come on!
ROOFTOP - LATER
Remy has skewered the mushroom and cheese onto part of the TV
antennae, which he has bent over the smoking chimney top,
hand turning it like a rotisserie.
REMY
The key is to keep turning it, get
the smoky flavor nice and even...
EMILE
That storm’s getting closer. Hey,
you think that maybe we shouldn’t--
REMY
(moaning)
Whoaaa... ohhh...
(idly bites mushroom)
...ohmmmmmnnn you gotta taste
this!!! It’s got this kind of--
(smacks lips)
--burny, melty-- it’s not really a
smoky flavor, it’s a certain-- it’s
kind of like a--
(MORE)
10.
REMY (cont'd)
(makes a sound effect)
--it’s got a--
(sound effect)
--kind of taste, don’t you think?
What would you call that flavor?
EMILE
Lightning-y?
REMY
Yeah! It’s LIGHTNING-Y! We’ve gotta
do that AGAIN! Okay. When the next
storm comes we’ll go up on the roof-
REMY
I KNOW WHAT THIS NEEDS! Saffron! a
little saffron would MAKE THIS!
REMY
Saffron... saffron... hmn...
EMILE
Not good. Don’t like it. She’s
gonna wake up.
REMY
I’ve been down here a million
times. She turns on the cooking
channel-- boom. Never wakes up.
EMILE
You’ve been here a million times??
REMY
(resumes rooting)
I’m telling ya, saffron’ll be just
the thing. Gusteau swears by it.
EMILE
Okay, who’s Gusteau?
11.
EMILE
Wait-- you.... read?
REMY
(guilty)
Well, not... excessively.
EMILE
Oh, man. Does dad know?
REMY
You could fill a book-- a LOT of
books-- with things dad doesn’t
know. And they have. Which is why I
read.
(pointed)
Which is also our secret.
EMILE
I don’t like secrets. All this
cooking and reading and TV watching
while we read and cook. It’s like
you’re involving me in crime. And I
let you. Why do I let you?
DJANGO
What’s taking those kids so long?
REMY
Ah. Aquila saffron. Italian.
Gusteau says it’s excellent. Good
thing the old lady is a food lov--
REMY
--hey! That’s Gusteau! Emile, look--
GUSTEAU (TV)
Great cooking is not for the faint
of heart. You must be imaginative,
strong-hearted, you must try things
that may not work. And you must not
let anyone define your limits
because of where you come from.
Your only limit is your soul. What
I say is true, anyone can cook...
but only the fearless can be great.
REMY
Pure poetry.
TV NARRATOR
But it was not to last. Gusteau’s
restaurant lost one of its five
stars after a scathing review by
France’s top food critic Arnot Ego.
TV NARRATOR (CONT’D)
It was a severe blow to Gusteau,
and the great Chef died shortly
afterward, which, according to
tradition, meant the loss of
another star.
REMY
(stunned)
Gusteau... is dead?
Suddenly the TV SNAPS OFF! Remy & Emile spin around to see--
the OLD LADY is awake... and WIELDING A SHOT GUN.
REMY
RUN!!
Remy and Emile SCATTER! Emile panics, races toward the attic.
REMY
NO! You’ll lead her to the colony!
The Lady BLASTS huge holes in the ceiling just behind the
scrambling Emile. He LEAPS CLEAR-- and lands on the end of a
HANGING LIGHT FIXTURE. The old lady has him. She levels the
gun barrel at the helplessly dangling Emile--
13.
REMY hides his eyes. EMILE braces for the end-- CLICK.
Rifling through her desk drawers, the OLD LADY SPIES REMY
coming out of hiding to help EMILE. She REDOUBLES HER EFFORTS
to find a box of shells--
EMILE
Help! Remy! Help!
REMY
Emile, start swinging the light!
I’ll try to grab you!
OLD LADY hears Remy calling for Emile, but from her POV all
we hear is a SQUEAKING SOUND. OLD LADY finds a SHELL BOX:
EMPTY. She YANKS OPEN another desk drawer.
REMY
Emile! Swing to me!
Finding no shells in the desk, the LADY goes for the cabinet,
LOOKING BACK to the TWO sitting duck RATS. The lady FINDS a
fresh box of SHELLS, spilling them in her excitement--
The lady LOOKS UP: a large FISSURE snakes across the ceiling,
connecting the wide circle of SHOTGUN HOLES-
14.
DJANGO
EVACUATE!!! EVERYONE TO THE BOATS!
REMY
The book!
BY THE STREAM
The rats run into the tall grass, pulling aside camouflage,
REVEALING several WATERCRAFT built from junk. The RATS push
them into the water and climb aboard. DJANGO urges them on.
DJANGO
GO GO GO! MOVE MOVE MOVE!
REMY
Wait! Wait for me!
15.
ON THE RIVER
RAIN starts to fall. The last RAT BOAT has shoved off from
shore, but DJANGO’s boat lingers under the FOOTBRIDGE.
DJANGO
Everybody here? We have everybody?
Wait a minute- where’s Remy?!
At the shore, Remy throws the book into the water and starts
paddling toward the tunnel after the colony.
REMY
Right here! I’m coming! I’m coming!
DJANGO
Hold on son!
(to other rats)
Give him something to grab on to!
DJANGO (CONT'D)
Come on boy!
DJANGO (CONT'D)
Paddle son! Come on, reach for it!
You can do it!
A BLAST hits the water, sends Remy flying backward. The OLD
LADY has taken position at the footbridge above. She FIRES at
Django’s boat-- missing as his boat enters the tunnel.
DJANGO
Remy!
REMY
Dad!
DJANGO
Come on, you can make it! You can
make it!
Remy climbs back aboard the cookbook and PADDLES into the
drainpipe before the LADY can get off a shot. She CURSES.
16.
TUNNEL - CONTINUOUS
REMY
Guys wait! Stop! Hold up! Wait for
me! Hold UP!
REMY
DAD??
(no response)
Dad...?
REMY
Which way...?
But it’s too late. Over the edge go Remy and the COOKBOOK,
tumbling into the rapids below.
--and is PLUNGED back under. The stone walls blur past him as
he claws back to the surface. Through the tumult he spies his
one chance up ahead-- the COOKBOOK. He swims toward it,
finally catching it, he pulls himself aboard.
DISSOLVE TO:
LATER
The COOKBOOK has dried out a bit, and there is just enough
light seeping through a grate above for Remy to read it.
REMY (V.O.)
I waited. For a sound... a voice...
a sign. Something...
GUSTEAU
If you are hungry, go up and look
around, Remy. Why do you wait and
mope?
REMY
I’ve just lost my family. All my
friends. Probably forever.
GUSTEAU
How do you know?
REMY
Well, I--
(what is he doing?)
You... are an illustration. Why am
I talking to you?
GUSTEAU
(shrugs)
You just lost your family. All your
friends. You are lonely.
REMY
Yeah, well, you’re dead.
GUSTEAU
Ah... but that is no match for
wishful thinking. If you focus on
what you’ve left behind you will
never be able to see what lies
ahead. Now go up and look around.
WE FOLLOW REMY
APARTMENT KITCHEN
GUSTEAU
What are you doing?!!
REMY
(startled, defensive)
I’m hungry! I don’t know where I am
and I don’t know when I’ll find
food again...
GUSTEAU
Remy. You are better than that. You
are a cook! Cooks make. Thieves
take. You are not a thief.
REMY
(reconsidering)
But I am hungry...
GUSTEAU
Food will come, Remy. Food always
comes to those who love to cook...
QUARRELING WOMAN
You think I am playing, Francois?
You think I am PLAYING??
QUARRELING MAN
You don’t have the guts!
--and KISS. Remy rolls his eyes and moves on, through dark,
tight spaces... into a pipe and emerges onto--
REMY
Paris? All this time I’ve been
underneath PARIS? It’s beautiful.
GUSTEAU SIGN
The MOST beautiful.
REMY
Gusteau’s? Your restaurant?? You’ve
led me to your restaurant!
GUSTEAU SIGN
(not entirely sure)
It seems as though I have. Yes.
There it is! I have led you to it!
REMY
I gotta see this...
While the COOKS range wildly in age and nationality, only one
is female; a French cook in her late twenties named COLETTE.
LA ROUSSE
Hey boss! Look who’s here! This is
Linguini, Renata’s little boy.
LA ROUSSE (CONT’D)
All grown up, eh? You remember
Renata, Gusteau’s old flame?
SKINNER
(distracted)
Ahh yes. How are you, uh...
LA ROUSSE
Linguini.
SKINNER
Yes. Linguini. So nice of you to
visit. How is--?
LINGUINI
My mother.
SKINNER
Yes.
LA ROUSSE
Renata.
SKINNER
(impatient)
Yes. Renata. How is she?
21.
LINGUINI
Good. Well, not g-- she’s been
better... I mean, uh...
HORST
She died.
SKINNER
Oh. I’m sorry.
LINGUINI
Don’t be. She believed in heaven so
she’s... covered...
(awkward)
...you know. Afterlife wise.
SKINNER
What’s this?
LINGUINI
She left it for you. I think she
hoped it would help. Me. Get a job.
Here--?
LA ROUSSE
Of course, Gusteau wouldn’t
hesitate. Any son of Renata’s--
SKINNER
(cutting him off)
Yes. Well, we could file this, and
if something suitable opens up--
LA ROUSSE
We’ve already hired him.
SKINNER
(outraged)
What?! How dare you hire someone
without my-
HORST
We needed a garbage boy.
SKINNER
Oh. Garbage. Well...
(to Linguini, thin smile)
...I’m glad it worked out.
22.
Remy and the Gusteau sprite look down through the SKYLIGHT
into GUSTEAU’S kitchen. Remy watches, rapt as the CHEFS
scurry about, preparing the gourmet meals.
REMY
I can’t believe it. A real gourmet
kitchen and I get to watch.
GUSTEAU
You’ve read my book. Let us see how
much you know. Which is the Chef?
REMY
That guy.
GUSTEAU
Very good. Who is next in command?
REMY
The Sous Chef... there.
(points out HORST)
The Sous is responsible for the
kitchen when the Chef’s not there.
REMY (O.C.)
Saucier; in charge of sauces, very
important. Chef de Partie, Demi-
Chef de Partie-- both important...
(pointing)
Commis, Commis, Commis... they’re
cooks. Very important.
GUSTEAU
You are a clever rat. Now-- who is
that?
REMY
Oh... him? He’s nobody.
23.
GUSTEAU
Not nobody. He is part of the
kitchen.
REMY
(dismissive)
He’s a Plongeur or something.
Washes dishes or takes out the
garbage. He doesn’t cook.
GUSTEAU
But he could.
REMY
No.
GUSTEAU
How do you know? What do I always
say? “Anyone can cook”.
REMY
Well, yeah. Anyone can. That
doesn’t mean that anyone should.
GUSTEAU
Well that is not stopping him. See?
REMY
No! This is terrible! He’s ruining
the soup! And nobody’s noticing?!
It’s your restaurant! Do something!
GUSTEAU
What can I do? I am a figment of
your imagination-
REMY
But HE’S RUINING THE SOUP! We’ve
got to tell someone that he’s R-
GUSTEAU’S KITCHEN
The door to the walk-in OPENS, knocking Remy across the floor
and under the stove. Above him rows of burners IGNITE.
Sticking his head out, Remy spots an OPEN WINDOW on the far
wall: a way out! He runs for it, climbing up a dish rack to
the counter. He is nearly to the OPEN WINDOW.
WIDEN TO REVEAL--
--the POT is being carried away by one of the COOKS. The chef
sets the pot down near a stove and exits. As Remy heads back
toward the window, a wonderful SCENT hits his nose. He
SNIFFS, following it to a PAN filled with vegetables.
REMY’S POV
--the WINDOW has been CLOSED! Linguini crosses into his view
and tastes the soup. It’s horrible, so horrible that--
--he runs to the window, opens it, SPITS the soup out into
the alley and exits-- LEAVING THE WINDOW OPEN.
RESUME REMY
He sees his opening and runs for it, climbing a broom handle
to a shelf above the stove that leads to the OPEN WINDOW.
--and STOPS.
GUSTEAU
Remy! What are you waiting for?
REMY
Is this going to become a regular
thing with you?
26.
GUSTEAU
You know how to fix it. This is
your chance...
Skinner (OS)
THE SOUP! WHERE IS THE SOUP?
The two STARTLE; Remy tries to run for the window. Linguini
slams a collander over him, both hiding and trapping him.
Skinner
Out of my way, Garbage boy!
Skinner
You are COOKING? How dare you cook
in my kitchen!
SKINNER
Where do you get the gall to even
attempt something so monumentally
idiotic? I should have you drawn
and quartered! I’ll do it! I think
the law is on my side!
(calling out)
LaRousse! Draw and quarter this
man! AFTER you put his head in the
duck press to squeeze the fat out!
LINGUINI SKINNER *
Oh, no... no no, ohhhh nooo-- What are you blathering
about?!
27.
LINGUINI SKINNER *
(points, dumbstruck) Soup...? *
-but don’t let- th-- sou... (suddenly understands) *
soup--! STOP THAT SOUP! Noooo!
Skinner
Linguini! You’re FIRED! F-I-R-E-D!
FIRED!
MUSTAFA
She wants to speak to the Chef.
COLETTE
What did the customer say?
MUSTAFA
It wasn’t a customer. It was a
critic.
COLETTE
(fearful)
Ego??
SKINNER
(dazed)
Solene LeClaire...
28.
COLETTE
LeClaire? What did she say?
MUSTAFA
She liked the soup.
GUSTEAU
Wait--
REMY
What do mean “wait’? You’re the
reason I’m in this mess!
GUSTEAU
Someone is asking about your soup!
RESUME SCENE
SKINNER
What are you playing at?
LINGUINI
(totally confused)
I, uhm, didn’t-- am I still fired?
COLETTE
You can’t fire him.
SKINNER
(wheels on her)
What--!?
COLETTE
LeClaire likes it. She made a point
of telling you so. If she writes a
review to that effect, and finds
out you fired the cook responsible--
SKINNER
He’s a garbage boy...
29.
COLETTE
--who made something she liked. How
can we claim to represent the name
of Gusteau if we don’t uphold his
most cherished belief?
SKINNER
What belief is that, Madamoiselle
Tatou?
COLETTE
Anyone can cook.
RESUME SCENE
The other COOKS murmur their assent. The turn of the tide
isn’t lost on Skinner. His face softens into an icy smile.
SKINNER
Perhaps I’ve been a bit harsh on
our new garbage boy. He has taken a
bold risk, and we should reward
that, as Chef Gusteau would have.
If he wishes to swim in dangerous
waters who are we to deny him?
GUSTEAU
You were escaping..?
REMY
Oh. Yeah--
BACK TO SCENE
SKINNER
Since you have expressed such an
interest in his cooking career, you
should be responsible for it.
SKINNER
Anyone else?
(they look away)
Then back to work--!
SKINNER
You are either very lucky or very
UNlucky. You will make the soup
again, and this time I’ll be paying
attention. Very close attention.
SKINNER (CONT’D)
They think you might be a cook. But
you know what I think, Linguini? I
think you’re a sneaky, overreaching
little-
(he SPIES REMY)
--RAAAAT!!!
REMY RUNS. The OTHER COOKS come after him. Skinner SWINGS a
MOP at Remy, breaking dishes and blocking his escape.
SKINNER
Linguini! Get a something to trap
it in!!
LINGUINI
What should I do now...?
SKINNER
Kill it.
LINGUINI
Now?
SKINNER
No! Not in the kitchen, are you
mad?? Do you know what would happen
to us if anyone knew we had a rat
in our kitchen?
(MORE)
31.
SKINNER (cont'd)
They’d close us down!! Our
reputation is hanging by a thread
as it is. Take it away from here,
far away. Kill it, dispose of it.
Go!
LINGUINI
Don’t look at me like that! You
aren’t the only one who’s trapped.
They expect me to cook it again!
(Remy looks up: HUH?)
I’m not ambitious, I wasn’t trying
to cook, I was just trying to stay
out of trouble. You’re the one who
was getting fancy with the spices!
What’d you throw in there? Oregano?
(Remy SHAKES HEAD: “NO”)
No? What, rosemary?
(Again, Remy shakes head)
That’s a spice, isn’t it? Rosemary?
(At this Remy NODS)
You didn’t put rosemary in there?
Remy shakes his head. Linguini SLUMPS down on the bank, sets
the Remy jar next to him.
LINGUINI
I need this job. I’ve lost so many.
I don’t know how to cook and now
I’m talking to a rat as if you
actually understand what I’m say--
(sudden realization)
--did you NOD?? You UNDERSTAND ME??
(MORE)
32.
LINGUINI (cont'd)
(Remy NODS)
So I’m not crazy. Wait a second,
wait a second. I can’t cook. Can I?
(Remy shakes his head)
But you can. Right?
(Remy thinks uncertainly)
Don’t be so modest, you’re a rat
for Pete’s sake. Whatever you did,
they liked it.
(lost in thought)
Yeah. This could work. Hey, they
liked the soup--
LINGUINI
They liked the soup. You think you
could... do it again?
(Remy NODS)
I’m gonna let you go. But we’re
together on this. Right?
(Remy NODS again)
Okay.
Linguini sets the jar down on its side and carefully OPENS
the lid . Remy looks up at him... and TAKES OFF, escaping
into the darkness. CACKLING as he runs, Remy LOOKS BACK at-
WITH REMY
WITH LINGUINI
LINGUINI
This is it. It’s not much, but it’s-
(he looks around)
--not much.
(to Remy, shrugs)
Could be worse; there’s heat and
light and a couch with a TV. So,
y’know-- what’s mine is yours.
Remy looks over the new digs. He likes them just fine.
LATER
LINGUINI
Morning, little Chef. Rise and sh--
LINGUINI
Idiot! I knew this would happen! I
let a rat into my place and tell
him what’s mine is his?
LINGUINI
Eggs GONE! STUPID! He’s stolen food
and hit the road! What’d I expect?
That’s what I get for trusting a ra-
LINGUINI
Wh--? Hey. What-- is that for me?
Remy nods and deftly (but with considerable effort) sets the
large omelette onto Linguini’s plate. Linguini sits and puts
a forkful into his mouth.
LINGUINI
It’s good. What’d you put in this?
(Remy holds up basil leaf)
Where’d you get that?
LINGUINI
Look. It’s delicious. But don’t
steal. I’ll buy some spices, okay?
LINGUINI
Oh no. We’re gonna be late, and on
the first day!
35.
Linguini SHOVES the rest of the eggs into his mouth and grabs
his coat. Famished, Remy opens wide, ready for his first bite
of food, when Linguini snatches him up---
LINGUINI
Ca’mon, little Chef!
COLETTE
“Though I, like many other critics,
had written off Gusteau’s as
irrelevant since the great Chef’s
death, the soup was a revelation, a
spicy yet subtle taste experience.”
SKINNER
(stunned)
LeClaire...?
COLETTE
Yes...!
(resumes reading)
”Against all odds, Gusteau’s has
recaptured our attention. Only time
will tell if they deserve it.”
LINGUINI
Well, uhm...
LINGUINI
(desperate)
Look, I know it’s weird and stupid,
but neither of us can do this
alone. So we gotta do it together,
right? You with me??
LINGUINI
So... LETS DO THIS THING!!
KITCHEN - GUSTEAU’S
SKINNER
Welcome to hell. Now... recreate
the soup. Take as long as you need,
all week if you must.
LINGUINI
Soup.
REMY peeks out from Linguini’s collar and examines the scene.
He scrambles underneath Linguini’s shirt and across his
chest, tickling him. Linguini LAUGHS.
Linguini RIPS his shirt open, exposing his chest and arms,
which are covered in angry red BITE MARKS.
LINGUINI
AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!!!
(looks at Remy accusingly)
AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!!!
(gestures at bite marks)
AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!!!
LINGUINI
This is NOT gonna work, little
chef! I am gonna LOSE IT if we do
this any more. We gotta figure out
something else. Something that
doesn’t involve any biting or
nipping or running up and down my
body with your little rat feet. The
biting; NO. Scampering; NO. No
scampering or scurrying.
Understand, little chef?
(beat)
Little chef...?
LINGUINI
Oh... you’re hungry.
LINGUINI
Okay... the way I see it; you know
how to cook. And I know how... to
appear... human. We just need to
work out a system so that I do what
you want in a way that doesn’t look
like I’m being controlled by a tiny
rat chef oh WOULD YOU LISTEN TO ME?
I’M INSANE I’M INSANE I’M INSIDE A
REFRIGERATOR TALKING TO A RAT ABOUT
GOURMET COOKING I WILL NEVER PULL
THIS OFF--
SKINNER
Linguini...?
LINGUINI
-we gotta communicate! I can’t be
checking for a yes or no head shake
from a rat th-
Suddenly the vault door JERKS OPEN. THREE THINGS HAPPEN FAST:
SKINNER
The rat! I saw it!
LINGUINI
No... a rat?
SKINNER
(searching about Linguini)
Yes, yes-- a rat! Right next to you-
(stops, suspicious)
--what ARE YOU DOING IN HERE???
39.
LINGUINI
I’m just familiarizing myself with--
y’know, the vegetables... and such.
SKINNER
Get out.
SKINNER
ONE CAN GET TOO FAMILIAR WITH
VEGETABLES YOU KNOW!
KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS
LINGUINI
That was close. You okay up there?
--a WAITER CARRYING A TRAY PILED WITH DISHES. Remy YANKS BACK
LINGUINI’S HAIR like horses REINS, CAUSING-
LINGUINI
BATHROOM
LINGUINI
How did you do that??
LINGUINI
Whooaah--!
40.
A gleam comes into the rats’ eyes. He JERKS the left hank,
causing Linguini’s LEFT ARM to SHOOT UP IN THE AIR.
LINGUINI
(marveling)
Wow. That’s strangely involuntaREEE-
REMY (V.O.)
One look and I knew, each of us had
the same crazy idea...
By dawn, Linguini and Remy have meshed into one finely honed
cooking machine.
DISSOLVE TO:
SKINNER
Congratulations. You were able to
repeat your accidental success. But
you will need to know more than
soup, if you are to survive in my
kitchen, boy. Colette--
SKINNER (CONT’D)
--will be responsible for teaching
you how we do things here.
LINGUINI
(a little too smooth)
Listen, I just want you to know how
honored I am to be studying under a-
COLETTE
No, you listen. I just want you to
know exactly who you are dealing
with. How many women do you see in
this kitchen?
LINGUINI
Well, I hah--- um--
COLETTE
Only me. Why do you think that is??
LINGUINI
(spooked, sputtering)
Well... huh--! I... hoo...
COLETTE
Because Haute Cuisine is an
antiquated hierarchy built upon
rules written by stupid old men,
rules designed to make it
impossible for women to enter this
world. But still I am here. How did
this happen?
LINGUINI
Because... you, ah-- hah...
COLETTE
Because I’m the toughest cook in
this kitchen. I’ve worked too hard
for too long to get here, and I’m
not going to jeopardize it for some
garbage boy who got lucky. Got it??
LINGUINI
Wow...
SKINNER’S OFFICE
DUPUIS
“Easy to cook, easy to eat, Gusteau
makes Chinese food ‘Chine-Easy!’”.
SKINNER
Excellent work Francois, as usual.
DUPUIS
It’s good, isn’t it?
SKINNER
I want you to work up something for
my latest frozen food concept:
“Gusteau’s Corn Puppies”. Like corn
dogs, only smaller, bite size!
DUPUIS
(starts sketching in pad)
What are corn dogs?
SKINNER
Cheap sausages dipped in batter and
deep fried. You know... American.
Whip something up, maybe Gusteau in
overalls and Huckleberry Tom hat-
DUPUIS
(displaying his sketch)
Or as a giant ear of corn in doggie
makeup?
SKINNER
Yes, but... with dignity.
43.
He opens the envelope and reads; his bored eyes growing wider
and wider with each line. He GASPS, seizing the phone.
SKINNER
Get my lawyer--!
TALON
The will stipulates that, if after
a period of two years from the date
of death no heir appears, Gusteau’s
business interests-- including the
restaurant and the rights to his
name and image-- will pass to his
Sous Chef. You.
SKINNER
I know what the will stipulates!
(brandishing letter)
What I want to know is if this
letter, if this boy, changes
anything!
TALON
There’s not much resemblance--
SKINNER
(drops blinds)
There’s NO resemblance at all! He’s
not Gusteau’s son! Gusteau had no
children! And what of the timing of
all this? The deadline in the will
expires in less than a month!
SKINNER (CONT’D)
Suddenly some boy arrives with a
letter from his “recently deceased”
mother claiming Gusteau as his
father? Highly suspect!
TALON
This is Gusteau’s?
(Skinner NODS)
May I?
SKINNER
Of course, of course.
TALON
But the boy does not know?
SKINNER
(brandishing the letter)
She claims she never told him-- OR
Gusteau! And asks that I not tell!
TALON
Why you? What does she want?
SKINNER
A job. For the boy.
TALON
Only a job?
SKINNER
Well... yes.
TALON
Then what are you worried about? If
he works here you’ll be able to
keep an eye on him, while I do a
little digging, find out how much
of this is real.
(getting his coat)
I’ll need you to collect some DNA
samples from the boy, hair maybe.
45.
SKINNER
The whole thing is HIGHLY SUSPECT.
He KNOWS something!!
TALON
Relax. He’s a garbage boy. I think
you can handle him.
KITCHEN
COLETTE
What are you doing?
LINGUINI
I’m cutting. Vegetables. I’m
cutting the vegetables?
COLETTE
NO. You waste energy and time!
COLETTE
You think cooking is a cute job,
huh? Like mommy in the kitchen?
She snatches Linguini’s KNIFE from him with one hand, several
vegetables with the other. With frightening speed she dices
them; flicking each diced pile into the pot with the knife;
dice, flick, dice, flick--
COLETTE
Well mommy never had to face the
dinner rush when the orders come
flooding in and every dish is
different and none are simple and
all have different cooking times
but must arrive on the customers
table at exactly the same time, hot
and perfect. Every second counts--
COLETTE (CONT’D)
--and you CAN NOT BE MOMMY!!!!
COLETTE
What is this???
COLETTE
Keep your station clear. When the
meal rush comes what will happen??
Messy stations slow things down,
food doesn’t go, orders pile up--
disaster!! I’ll make this easy to
remember; keep your station
clear... or I WILL KILL YOU.
TIME CUT: Colette grabs Linguini by the arm and holds up his
sleeves, which are smeared with multi-colored STAINS.
COLETTE
Your sleeves look like you threw up
on them. Keep your hands and arms
in, close to the body like this--
(she demonstrates)
--see? Always return to this
position. Cooks move fast; sharp
utensils, hot metal, keep your arms
in, you will minimize cuts and
burns and keep your sleeves clean.
Mark of a chef; messy apron, clean
sleeves.
COLETTE
I know the Gusteau style cold. In
every dish Chef Gusteau always has
something unexpected. I will show
you, I memorized all his recipes--
47.
LINGUINI
(writing it down)
“Always do something unexpected”...
COLETTE
No. “Follow the recipe”.
LINGUINI
But you just said--
COLETTE
It was his job to be unexpected. It
is our job to--
COLETTE
How do you tell how good bread is
without tasting it? Not the smell,
not the look, but the sound... of
the crust. Listen--
RESUME SCENE
COLETTE (CONT’D)
-a symphony of crackles. Only
great bread sounds this way.
COLETTE
The only way to get the best
produce is to have first pick of
the day, and there are only two
ways to get first pick; grow it
yourself or bribe a grower.
COLETTE
Voila! The best restaurants get
first pick.
TIME CUT:
COLETTE
People think Haute Cuisine is
snooty, so chefs must also be
snooty. But not so.
COLETTE (V.O.)
Lalo there-- ran away from home at
twelve, got hired by circus people
as an acrobat, got fired for
messing around with the ringmasters
daughter.
COLETTE (V.O.)
Horst has done time.
LINGUINI(V.O.)
What for?
COLETTE (V.O.)
No one knows for sure. He changes
the story every time you ask him.
HORST
I defrauded a major corporation.
(CUT)
(MORE)
49.
HORST (cont'd)
I robbed the second largest bank in
France using only a ballpoint pen.
(CUT)
I created a hole in the ozone over
Avignon.
(CUT)
I killed a man with--
(he holds it up)
--this thumb.
COLETTE (V.O.)
Don’t ever play cards with
Pompidou. He’s been banned from
both Las Vegas and Monte Carlo.
COLETTE (V.O.)
La Rousse ran guns for the
resistance.
LINGUINI (V.O.)
Which resistance?
COLETTE (V.O.)
He won’t say. Apparently they did
not win.
COLETTE
So you see, we are artists.
Pirates. More than cooks are we.
LINGUINI
“We”...?
COLETTE
Oui. You are one of us now, oui?.
LINGUINI
(surprised, touched)
Oui.
LINGUINI
Thank you... by the way, for all
the advice about cooking.
50.
COLETTE
Thank you, too.
LINGUINI
For what?
COLETTE
For taking it.
SKINNER
The rat!!
RESUME SKINNER
LINGUINI
(to Skinner, chuckles)
I just dropped my keys.
Skinner is BAFFLED.
MUSTAFA
Have you decided?
FOOD SNOB #1
Well, the new soup is excellent but-
FOOD SNOB #2
--but we order it every time.
FOOD SNOB #3
What else do you have?
51.
MUSTAFA
We have a very nice Foie Gras--
FOOD SNOB #1
(impatient)
Yes, the old standby, you used to
be famous for it. What does the
Chef have that’s new?
KITCHEN
MUSTAFA HORST
Someone has asked what is New?
new!
MUSTAFA HORST
Yes! What do I tell them? What did you tell them?
MUSTAFA SKINNER
I told them I would ask! What are you blathering
about?
HORST MUSTAFA
Customers are asking what is What should I tell them?
new. *
SKINNER MUSTAFA
What DID you tell them?? I TOLD THEM I WOULD ASK!!!
SKINNER
This is simple. Just pull out an
old Gusteau recipe, something we
haven’t made in a while and--
MUSTAFA
They know about the old stuff. They
like Linguini’s soup--
SKINNER
Linguini? They are asking for food
from-- LINGUINI?
LALO
A lot of customers like the soup.
That’s all we were saying.
POMPIDOU
Were we saying that?
52.
SKINNER
Very well. If it’s Linguini they
want...
SKINNER
...tell them “Chef” Linguini has
prepared something special for
them, something definitely “off-
menu”. Oh, and don’t forget to
stress its “Linguini-ness”.
HORST
Oui, Chef.
SKINNER
Now is your chance to try something
worthy of your talent, Linguini. A
forgotten favorite of the Chef’s:
“Sweetbread a la Gusteau”! Colette
will help you!
COLETTE
Oui, Chef.
SKINNER
Now hurry up. Our diners are
hungry!
LA ROUSSE
Are you sure? That recipe was a
disaster. Gusteau himself said so.
SKINNER
Just the sort of challenge a
budding chef needs.
COLETTE
Sweetbread a la Gusteau. Sweetbread
cooked in a salt crust with
cuttlefish tenticles. Drizzled
with...snail porridge...
(with increasing distaste)
Douglas fir puree... beetroot
mousse and pollen...dried white
fungus... and dipped in anchovy
liquorice sauce. Huh.
COLETTE
I don’t know this recipe. But it is
Gusteau, so--
(calling out)
Lalo! We have some veal stomach
soaking, yes??
LALO (O.S.)
Yes, the veal stomach, I get that.
LINGUINI
Uh-- veal... stomach?
LINGUINI
LINGUINI
LINGUINI
Linguini JERKS forward, tilting his toque over the pan, then
PEELS OUT of his station, once again on the move.
LINGUINI
(ad-lib to cooks)
Pardon me, just need to borrow this
real quick-- sorry-- apparently I
need this-- I’ll be right back--
COLETTE
What are you doing? We are supposed
to be preparing the Gusteau recipe.
LINGUINI
(stirring, flipping pan)
I’m, uh... this is the recipe--
COLETTE
The recipe doesn’t call for white
truffle oil! What else have you--
(MORE)
55.
COLETTE (cont'd)
(she looks in his pan)
You are improvising?? This is no
time to experiment, the customers
are waiting!
LINGUINI
You’re right--
(to REMY, nudging toque)
--I should listen to you!
Linguini suddenly SLAPS his own face, then LEANS his toque
over the Sweetbread.
COLETTE LINGUINI
Stop that--! Stop what?
COLETTE HORST
Freaking me out! Whatever Where is the special order?
you’re doing-- stop it.
COLETTE LINGUINI
Coming! We are together.
(Low to Linguini)
I thought we were together on
this.
COLETTE LINGUINI
Then what are you doing? It’s--- VERY hard to explain.
HORST
The special??
COLETTE
Come get it!
COLETTE
Oh-- I forgot to add the liquorice!
She rushes back to get it. Remy sees his chance. Linguini
finds himself grabbing his pan and hurtling toward Colette.
56.
AT THE PASS
COLETTE
Don’t... you... dare.
LINGUINI
I’m not, I’m not, I’m--
LINGUINI (CONT’D)
--sorry.
SKINNER
Is Linguini’s dish done yet?
HORST
Ya. It’s as bad as we remember.
Just went out.
SKINNER
(serene)
Did you taste it?
HORST
Of course... before he changed it.
SKINNER
Good- WHAT? How could he change it?
HORST
He changed it as it was going out
the door!
MUSTAFA
They love it! Other diners are
already asking about it, about
Linguini. I have seven more orders!
SKINNER
That’s... wonderful.
MONTAGE
Crosscut between the dining room and the kitchen: orders pile
up as word of the “special” spreads between diners. Remy
pilots Linguini, preparing plate after plate of their hit.
LINGUINI
Take a break little Chef, get some
air. We really did it tonight.
KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS
SKINNER
(dangling the toque)
Got your toque!
Skinner hops to the ground, fluffing the toque with his hand
before handing it back to the mystified Linguini.
SKINNER
Seriously now, I’d love to have a
little talk with you, Linguini...
in my office.
LINGUINI
Am I in trouble...?
SKINNER
Trouble? Nooo... a little wine, a
friendly chat. Just us cooks.
HORST
(to Colette, re: Linguini)
The Plongeur won’t be coming to you
for advice anymore, eh Colette?
(nods to Skinner’s office)
He’s gotten all he needs.
SKINNER
Toasting your success, eh Linguini?
Good for you.
LINGUINI
I just took it to be polite, they
were being so nice to me, I don’t
really drink, you know--
SKINNER
Of course you don’t. I wouldn’t
either if I was drinking that--
59.
SKINNER (CONT’D)
-but you would have to be an idiot
of elephantine proportions not to
appreciate this ‘61 Chateau Latour.
And you, M’sieur Linguini, are no
idiot.
(raising his glass)
Let us toast your non-idiocy! A
votre sante!
The creature LOOKS UP, its glowing eyes fix on Remy. Remy
GULPS, raises the knife. The creature LEAPS into the light--
EMILE
REMY!
REMY
Emile--??
REMY EMILE
What are you doing here?! I I can’t believe it! You’re
thought I’d never see you alive! You made it! We
guys again! figured you didn’t survive
the rapids!
REMY
And what are you eating??
EMILE
I don’t really know. I think it was
some sort of wrapper once.
60.
REMY
What--? No.
REMY
You’re in Paris now, baby. My town.
No brother of mine eats rejecta-
menta in my town!
Remy turns on his heel and marches back into the kitchen.
Remy climbs to the pull handle on the FOOD SAFE DOOR and
hesitates there. LAUGHTER emanates from inside of Skinner’s
office. Remy leaps to the handle and with considerable effort
pushes it open, UNLOCKING the massive door. GUSTEAU appears.
GUSTEAU SPRITE
Remy... you are stealing? You told
Linguini he could trust you.
REMY
And he can. It’s for my brother...
GUSTEAU SPRITE
The boy could lose his job.
REMY
Which means I would, too. It’s
under control, okay?
Remy shoves past the Gusteau spite and into the safe. The
sprite VANISHES.
SKINNER
More wine?
LINGUINI
I shouldn’t. But okay.
SKINNER
So where did you train, Linguini?
61.
LINGUINI
(chuckles, drinking)
Train? Alright...
SKINNER
Surely you don’t expect me to
believe this is your first time
cooking?
LINGUINI
It’s not.
SKINNER
I KNEW IT!
LINGUINI
It’s my...
(stops, counts on fingers)
...second, third, four-- fifth
time. Monday was my first time.
(Skinner wilts)
But I’ve taken out the garbage lots
of times before this, that’s why I--
SKINNER
(cutting him off, pouring)
Yes yes yes. Have some more wine.
Tell me about your interests. Do
you like animals?
LINGUINI
What--? Animals? What kind?
SKINNER
Oh, the usual. Dogs, cats, horses,
guinea pigs...
(pointed)
...rats.
REMY
I brought you something to-- AGH!!
No no NO! Spit that out right now!
(Emile does, shamed)
I have GOT to teach you about food!
Close your eyes.
62.
REMY
Now... take a bite of thi--
Emile INHALES it. Horrified, Remy scolds him like a bad pet.
REMY (CONT’D)
-NO NO NO! Don’t just hork it down!
EMILE
Too late.
REMY
Chew it slowly... think only about
the taste. See?
EMILE
Not really.
REMY
Creamy, salty sweet. An oaky
nuttiness? You detect that?
EMILE
Oh, I’m detecting nuttiness.
REMY
Close your eyes. Now taste this.
(gives him a strawberry)
Whole different thing, right?
Sweet, crisp, slight tang on the
finish?
EMILE
Okay.
REMY
Now try them together. Uh-huh. See?
63.
EMILE
Okay... I think I’m getting a
little something there. It might be
the nuttiness. Could be the tang.
REMY
That’s it! Now imagine every great
taste in the world being combined
into infinite combinations, tastes
that no one has tried yet!!
Discoveries to be made!
EMILE
I think--- you lost me again.
Emile opens his eyes. The SHAPES and SOUND FADE AWAY. Sensing
Remy’s disappointment, Emile reassures him.
EMILE
But that was interesting. Most
interesting garbage I ever-- HEY!
What are we doing? Dad doesn’t know
you’re alive. We’ve gotta go to the
colony!! Everyone will be thrilled!
REMY
Yeah... but, uh... thing is, I
kinda have to... uh...
EMILE
What? What do you “hafta” more than
family? What’s more important?
REMY
Well, it wouldn’t hurt to visit...
SKINNER LINGUINI
Have you ever had a pet rat?? Nope.
64.
SKINNER LINGUINI
Did you work in a lab with Nope.
rats?
SKINNER LINGUINI
Perhaps you lived in squalor Nopety nopety new.
at some point??
SKINNER
I KNOW you know something about
RATS! You know you do!!
LINGUINI
You know who know do whacka do.
Ratta tatta- hey! Why do they call
it that?
SKINNER
What?!
LINGUINI
Ratatouille. There’s a dish called
that, it’s like a stew, right? Why
do they call it that? If you’re
gonna name a food you should give
it a name that sounds delicious.
Ratatouille doesn’t sound
delicious. It sounds like rat. And
patooty. Rat patooty! Which does
NOT sound delicious.
SKINNER
(scowling)
Regrettably--
He drops the empty bottle into the trash with a loud THUNK.
SKINNER (CONT’D)
--we are all out of wine.
DJANGO
MY SON... HAS RETURNED!
A PARTY is in full swing. The entire rat clan has come out to
bop to boisterous MUSIC played by a jazzy RAT BAND, kicking
down the jams in a unique gypsy/jitterbug dance style that
takes full advantage of their tails and all four legs.
DJANGO
And finding someone to replace you
for poison checker has been a
disaster. Nothing’s been poisoned,
thank God, but it hasn’t been easy.
You didn’t make it easy.
REMY
I know. I am sorry, Dad.
DJANGO
Well, the important thing is that
you’re home.
REMY
Yeah... well, uh, about that...
DJANGO
You look thin. Why is that? A
shortage of food or a surplus of
snobbery?
DJANGO
It’s tough out there in the big
world all alone, isn’t it?
REMY
Sure... but, it’s not like I’m a
kid anymore.
66.
REMY
I can take care of myself. I’ve
found a nice spot not far away, so
I’ll be able to visit often.
DJANGO
(resuming conversation)
Nothing like a cold splash of
reality to make you--
(sudden realization)
--“visit”?
REMY
I will, I promise. Often.
DJANGO
You’re not staying?
REMY
It’s not a big deal, Dad.
(gently)
You didn’t think I was going to
stay forever, did you? Eventually a
bird’s gotta leave the nest.
DJANGO
We’re not birds, we’re rats. We
don’t leave nests, we make them
bigger.
REMY
Maybe I’m different kind of rat.
DJANGO
Maybe you’re not a rat at all.
REMY
Maybe that’s a good thing.
EMILE
(trying to break tension)
Hey, the band’s really on tonight!
REMY
Rats! All we do is take, Dad. I’m
tired of taking. I want to make
things! I want to add something to
this world.
67.
DJANGO
You’re talking like a human.
REMY
Who are not as bad as you say.
DJANGO
Oh yeah?
EMILE
Oh man...
DJANGO
What makes you so sure?
REMY
I’ve uh, been able to, uh, observe
them at a close-ish sort of range.
DJANGO
Yeah? How close?
REMY
Close enough. And they’re, y’know,
not so bad. As you say. They are.
DJANGO
Come with me... I got something I
want you to see.
EMILE
You know... I think I’ll stay here.
SKINNER
Make sure the floors and counter-
tops are clean before you lock up.
LINGUINI
You want me to... stay and clean?
68.
SKINNER
Is that a problem?
SKINNER
Good boy. See you tomorrow.
DJANGO
We’re here.
DJANGO
Take a good, long look, Remy. This
is what happens when a rat gets a
little too comfortable around
humans.
DJANGO
The world we live in belongs to the
enemy. We must live carefully. We
look out for our own kind, Remy.
When all is said and done, we’re
all we’ve got.
REMY
No.
DJANGO
(stops in his tracks)
What..?
69.
REMY
No, Dad. I don’t believe it. You’re
telling me that the future is-- can
ONLY be--
(points at window)
--more of this?
DJANGO
This... is the way things are. You
can’t change nature.
REMY
Change IS nature, Dad. The part
that we can influence. And it
starts when we decide.
DJANGO
Where you goin’?
REMY
With luck... forward.
The storm has passed and the sky is cloudless and clear. As a
weary Remy exits the sewer, the fresh air hits his nostrils
and he draws it in like a sweet memory.
Remy enters and looks around. No one has arrived yet. Remy
steps on to the counter top and surveys the kitchen, savoring
the day ahead. And then he hears the sound. SNORING.
REMY’S POV
COLETTE
(cool, formal)
Good morning.
COLETTE
So. The Chef. He invited you in for
a drink? That’s big... that’s big.
What did he say?
RESUME SCENE
COLETTE
What-- you can’t tell me?
COLETTE
Oh. Forgive me for intruding on
your deep, personal relationship
with the Chef. I see how it is. You
get me to teach you a few kitchen
tricks to dazzle the boss, and then
you blow past me?
REMY
Ca’mon. Wake up... wake up--!
RESUME SCENE
COLETTE
(small, hurt)
I thought you were different. I
thought you thought I was
different. I thought--
COLETTE
I didn’t have to help you. If I
looked out only for myself, I could
have let you drown. But--
(this is hard for her)
--I wanted you to succeed. I liked
you. My mistake.
72.
LINGUINI
It’s over, Little Chef. I can’t do
it any more.
He grabs the toque with Remy inside and runs after Colette.
LINGUINI
Stop--! Don’t motorcycle away--
(She atops, looks at him)
Look. I’m no good with words. I’m
no good with food, either. At least
not without your help.
COLETTE
I hate false modesty. It’s just
another way to lie. You have talent-
LINGUINI
But I don’t! Really! It’s not me!
LINGUINI (CONT’D)
And when I added those extra
ingredients instead of following
the recipe like you said-- that
wasn’t me either!
COLETTE
What do you mean?
LINGUINI
I mean I wouldn’t have done that. I
would’ve followed the recipe, I
would’ve followed your advice. I
would’ve followed your advice to
the ends of the earth because I
love-- your advice.
73.
COLETTE
But... ?
LINGUINI
But... I have a secret.
REMY
(softly)
Don’t do it...
RESUME SCENE
LINGUINI
It’s sort of disturbing.
LINGUINI
I have a rr... aah--uht...
COLETTE
What...?
LINGUINI
I have a rahh... tsh-
COLETTE
You have a rash?
LINGUINI
NO! No... I have this tiny... a
little, uh... little... a--
(quickly blurts it out)
-tiny chef who tells me what to do.
COLETTE
A tiny chef.
LINGUINI
Yes... yes, he’s... uh, uhhhmmn...
(points to toque)
...he’s up here--
74.
COLETTE
In your brain.
LINGUINI
Why is it so hard to talk to you??
(gathering courage)
Okay. Here we go. You-- inspire me.
I’m going to risk it all. I’m going
to risk looking like the biggest
idiot psycho you’ve ever seen.
LINGUINI (CONT’D)
You wanna know why I’m such a fast
learner? Why I’m such a great cook?
Don’t laugh! I’m going to show you--
ON LINGUINI
--the same Anton Ego who now sits at a desk that is the rooms
focal point, looming over an ancient typewriter like a
vulture with better posture.
The rooms lone door opens, and a short, pudgy man in his mid-
thirties enters. This is Ego’s assistant, AMBRISTER MINION.
EGO
What is it, Ambrister?
MINION
Gusteau’s.
EGO
Finally closing is it?
MINION
No...
EGO
More financial trouble?
MINION
No, it’s--
EGO
(losing patience)
--announced a new line of microwave
eggroles, what? Spit it out.
76.
MINION
--it’s come back. It’s...
(bewildered)
... popular.
EGO
I haven’t reviewed Gusteau’s in
years.
MINION
No, Sir.
EGO
My last review condemned it to the
tourist trade.
MINION
Yes, Sir...
Ego locates the review and plucks it from the files, reading
it aloud as if it were divinely inspired.
EGO
I said--
(reading)
“Gusteau has finally found his
rightful place in history, right
alongside another, equally famous
Chef-- Monsieur ‘Boyardee’”.
MINION
Touche’...
EGO
That is where I left it. That was
my last word. THE last word.
MINION
Yes.
EGO
Then tell me, Ambrister...
EGO (CONT’D)
... how could it be... “popular”?
77.
SKINNER
No no no NO NO NOOO!
TALON
(matter of fact)
The DNA matches, the timing works,
everything checks out. He is
Gusteau’s son.
SKINNER
This can’t just-- happen! The whole
thing is a set-up! The boy knows!
SKINNER
Look at him out there... pretending
to be an idiot! He’s toying with my
mind, like a cat with a ball! Of...
something!
TALON
String?
SKINNER
Yes! Playing dumb! Taunting me with
that rat!
TALON
Rat?
SKINNER
Yes! He’s consorting with it!
Deliberately trying to make me
think it’s important!
TALON
The rat.
SKINNER
Exactly.
TALON
(delicately)
Is the rat... “important”?
78.
SKINNER
Of course not! He just wants me to
think that it is! Oh, I see the
theatricality of it; a rat appears
on the boy’s first night, I order
him to kill it and now he wants me
to see it everywhere-- woooooooo--
(snaps fingers wildly)
-it’s here, no it isn’t, it’s HERE!
Am I seeing things, am I crazy, is
there a phantom rat or is there
not? But ohhh no! I refuse to be
sucked into his little game... of--
TALON
Should I be concerned about this?
(pointedly)
About you?
KITCHEN
Remy wonders why Linguini’s head has drifted away from the
task at hand. He looks up: sees Colette. Rolling his eyes at
Linguini’s limited concentration, he pulls Linguini’s hair--
RESUME SCENE
SKINNER
I can’t fire him! He’s getting
attention! If I fire him now
everyone will wonder why and the
last thing I want is people looking
into this!
TALON
What are you so worried about?
Isn’t it good to have the press?
Isn’t it good to have Gusteau’s
name getting headlines?
SKINNER
(points at Linguini photo)
Not if they’re over HIS face!!
Gusteau’s already has a face, and
it’s fat and lovable and familiar!
And it sells burritos! Millions and
millions of burritos!
TALON
The deadline passes in three days,
then you can fire him whenever he
ceases to be a valuable. You’re
still in charge, and no one will
ever know.
TALON
You know, I was worried about the
hair sample you gave me. I had to
send it back to the lab.
SKINNER
Why?
TALON
Because the first time it came back
identified as “rodent hair”.
KITCHEN
COLETTE
No, no. Try this. It’s better.
80.
Linguini and Colette laugh and scream as the wind rips by,
Linguini barely able to hang on to his toque and we realize--
--and his TOQUE (WITH REMY INSIDE) FLIES OFF HIS HEAD and
tumbles to the street! Dazed, Remy emerges from the battered
toque to see Colette’s cycle disappear over the horizon!
WOMAN
A RAT!
Her escort swats at Remy with his coat. Remy runs, jumping
into a nearby STORM DRAIN.
WOMAN (O.S.)
Disgusting little creatures...
REMY (V.O.)
I was reminded how fragile it all
was. How the world really saw me.
And it just kept getting better...
Remy emerges from the curb drain, turns into the alley behind
GUSTEAU’S and heads up the back steps...
EMILE (O.S.)
Psst! Remy...
Remy turns. EMILE peeks out from behind the trash cans, where
he waits with a GROUP OF RATS, including GIT, the lab rat.
EMILE
Hey little brother! We were afraid
you weren’t gonna show up!
REMY
You told them? Emile, that’s
exactly what I said not to do!
82.
EMILE
But they’re my friends. I didn’t
think you meant-- I was telling ‘em
about tasting, about the nutty tang
and look, I’m sorry. I’m sorry-
REMY
Don’t tell me you’re sorry, tell
them you’re sorry-
GIT
There a problem over here?
REMY
No.
(SCOWLS at Emile)
No, there is not. Wait here.
SKINNER’S OFFICE
GUSTEAU PHOTO
Remy, what are you doing in here?
REMY
Emile shows up-- I said not to, but
he goes and blabs- it’s a disaster.
Anyway, they’re hungry, the food
safe is locked, I need the key.
GUSTEAU PHOTO
They want you to steal food?
REMY
Yes. No-- it’s complicated. It’s
family. They don’t have your ideals-
TEXAN GUSTEAU
Ideals? If Chef Fancy Pants had any
ideals you think I’d be hawkin’
barbecue over here?
REMY
Will you guys SHUT UP??
(they do, instantly)
I’ve gotta think!
Remy climbs over the edge of Skinner’s desk, pushes open the
drawer, and begins to rummage through its contents.
REMY (CONT’D)
Word’s getting out and if I can’t
keep them quiet...the entire clan’s
going to be after me with their
mouths open and-
(he finds the key)
--ah! Here it is. Hey...
REMY
...your will--!
GUSTEAU PHOTO
This used to be my office.
Remy pulls the file from the drawer and lays it on the desk.
REMY
This is interesting. Mind if I--?
GUSTEAU PHOTO
Not at all.
84.
REMY
“Linguini”..? Why would Linguini be
filed with your will?
REMY
HE’S YOUR SON???
GUSTEAU
I... have a... SON?
REMY
YES. How could you not know this??
GUSTEAU
(defensive)
I am a figment of your imagination!
You did not know! How could I??
REMY
Well, YOUR SON is the rightful
owner of this restaurant!
Remy races out into the street. Hot on his heels, Skinner
runs smack into LALO on a moped. Before the mortified Lalo
can apologize Skinner is back on his feet.
SKINNER
No... NO--! The rat! It’s stolen my
documents! It’s getting away!!
A jam of water traffic keeps this game alive, the two leaping
from boat to boat, but the last leap, to a DINING BOAT- is
too far. Remy tries anyway; launching into the air, the
documents in his mouth sweep back like WINGS and he--
SKINNER
You?? Get out of my office.
COLETTE
He’s not in your office. You are in
his.
MONTAGE
INTERCUT:
REPORTER #1
Chef Linguini! Chef Linguini!
Your rise has been meteoric, and
yet you have no formal training.
What is the secret to your genius?
RESUME SCENE
LINGUINI
I’m Auguste Gusteau’s son. It’s in
my blood, I guess.
REPORTER #3
But you weren’t aware of that fact
until very recently--
LINGUINI
No...
REPORTER #3
--and it resulted in your taking
ownership of this restaurant. How
did you find out?
WITH LINGUINI
LINGUINI
Some part of me just knew...
(lamely, trying it out)
...the Gusteau part...?
REPORTER #1
Where do you get your inspiration?
LINGUINI
Inspiration?
LINGUINI
Inspiration has many names. Mine is
named Colette.
REMY
WHAT?!!
WITH LINGUINI
LINGUINI (CONT’D)
Something stuck in my teeth.
LESSARD
Health Inspector.
89.
SKINNER
I wish to report a rat infestation.
It’s taken over my restauran-- er--
Gusteau’s restaurant--!
LESSARD
Gusteau’s, eh? I can drop by.
(consults appointment log)
First opening is... three months.
SKINNER
It must happen now!
LESSARD
Monsieur, I have the information,
if someone cancels I’ll slot you
in.
SKINNER
But... but the rat, it--
SKINNER
--stole my documents...
HORST
It’s past opening time.
COLETTE
He should’ve finished an hour ago.
She heaves an annoyed sigh and heads out to the dining area.
DINING AREA
LINGUINI
Bon jour, Mon Cherie. Join us. We
were talking about my inspiration-
COLETTE
(to journalists)
Yes, he calls it his “tiny Chef”...
LINGUINI
Not that, dearest... I meant you.
Just then the front door swings open, spilling cold light and
air into the warmth of the restaurant. The press swings its
attention to the tall, backlit spectre at the entrance,
whispering his legendary name: “Ego”. He glides through them
without acknowledging their presence, and stops in front of
Linguini, who is still seated.
EGO
You are Monsieur Linguini?
LINGUINI
Uh, hello.
EGO
Pardon me for interrupting your...
premature celebration. But I
thought it only fair to give you a
sporting chance as you are new to
this game.
LINGUINI
Uh... game?
EGO
Yes. And you’ve been playing with-
out an opponent. Which is, as you
may have guessed, against the
rules.
91.
RESUME SCENE
LINGUINI
You’re Anton Ego.
EGO
You’re slow for someone in the fast
lane.
LINGUINI
And you’re thin for someone who
likes food.
EGO
I don’t “like” food, I love it. If
I don’t love it, I don’t-- swallow.
EGO (CONT’D)
I will return tomorrow night with
high expectations. Pray you don’t
disappoint me.
COLETTE
Listen, we hate to be rude, but...
we’re French. And it’s dinner time.
She pulls Linguini from the table and heads to the kitchen.
He calls back to the press in apology--
LINGUINI
She meant to say “it’s dinner time,
and we’re French”--!
LINGUINI
Don’t give me that look. You were
distracting me in front of the
press. How am I supposed to
concentrate with you yanking my
hair all the time?
LINGUINI
And that’s another thing. Your
opinion isn’t the only one that
matters here. Colette knows how to
cook too, you know--
The last straw. Remy grabs a hair hank and pulls-- too hard.
LINGUINI (CONT’D)
--- OW!! Alright that’s it!!
The door bangs open, Linguini storms out, mashing his toque
against his head, angrily shuts the door behind him. He yanks
his toque off and gets in Remy’s tiny face--
LINGUINI
You take a break, little chef. I’m
not your puppet, and you’re not my--
uh, puppet... controlling... guy.
SKINNER
The rat is the cook...!
LINGUINI
You cool off and get your mind
right, little chef. Ego is coming
and I’ve gotta focus!
RESUME REMY
EMILE
Wow. I’ve never seen that before.
GIT
Yeah... it’s like you’re his fluffy
bunny or something.
EMILE
I’m sorry about all the guys, Remy.
I tried to limit them, but--
REMY
You know what? It’s okay.
(To group)
I’ve been selfish. You guys hungry?
(RATS respond eagerly)
Dinner’s on me. We’ll go after
closing time. In fact--
(to Emile, evil grin)
--tell Dad to bring the whole clan.
LINGUINI
Little chef...?
Horst puts the kitchen to bed. He pulls on his coat and turns
the LIGHTS OUT. Beat. A metal GRATE in the floor lifts up,
Remy and Django peek out.
DJANGO
This is great, son. An inside job.
(too loudly)
I see the appeal--!
94.
REMY
Shhh!
LINGUINI
Little Chef...? Little Chef?
LINGUINI
Hey, Little Chef. I thought you
went back to the apartment. Then
when you weren’t there, I don’t
know, it didn’t seem right--
LINGUINI (CONT’D)
--to leave things the way we did so
I came back, hoping you’d be here.
And here you are.
LINGUINI (CONT’D)
Look. I don’t want to fight. I’ve
been under a lot of- you know,
pressure. A lot has changed in not
very much time, you know. I’m
suddenly a Gusteau and I gotta be a
Gusteau or you know, people will be
disappointed. It’s weird...
LINGUINI (CONT’D)
...I’ve never disappointed anyone
before because nobody’s ever
expected anything of me. And the
only reason anyone expects anything
from me now is... because of you.
LINGUINI
I haven’t been fair to you. You’ve
never failed me, and I should never
forget that.
Emile, now stuffed and lumpy with grapes, eyes the last
REMAINING GRAPE on the stem. Balancing on a CHEESE WHEEL, he
lashes the asparagus rubber band to the shelf and leans out
over the edge, straining to reach the lone grape...
LINGUINI (CONT’D)
The most honorable friend a guy
could ever ask--
The cheese wheel SHIFTS. Emile loses his balance and falls,
hits the floor spread-eagled. The CHEESE lands on top of him,
causing his bellyful of GRAPES to machine gun from his mouth--
Linguini (CONT'D)
What is this? What’s going on--
He pulls open the door and flips the light on. The RATS FLEE--
spilling from the shelves in a squeaking, fur covered WAVE
that rushes past Linguini’s feet and out the open door.
LINGUINI
(to Remy, betrayed)
You’re stealing from me??
(MORE)
96.
LINGUINI (cont'd)
How could you? I thought you were
my friend, I trusted you!
The door bursts open and a flood of rats pour out the rear
door into the alley, Linguini behind them brandishing a mop.
LINGUINI (CONT’D)
Get out! You and all your rat
buddies! And don’t come back! Or
I’ll treat you the way restaurants
are supposed to treat pests!
REMY
You’re right, Dad. Who am I
kidding? We are what we are. And
we’re rats.
REMY
Well, he’ll leave soon... and now
you know how to get in. Steal all
you want.
DJANGO
You’re not coming?
REMY
I’ve lost my appetite.
LINGUINI
Do you know what you’d like, sir?
EGO
Yes; I’d like your heart, roasted
on a spit--!
97.
LINGUINI
C--come... COME IN!!
COLETTE
Today is a big day. You should say
something to them.
LINGUINI
Like what...?
COLETTE
You are the boss. Inspire them.
LINGUINI
Attention. Attention everyone.
LINGUINI
Tonight is a big night. Appetite is
coming and he’s going to have a big
Ego.
(stops, corrects himself)
I mean Ego. He’s coming. The
critic? And he’s going to order.
Something. Something from our menu.
And we’ll have to cook it. Unless
he orders something cold. Like a
salad.
EMILE
Just can’t leave it alone, can ya’?
Emile is by the trash. Remy HOPS DOWN and walks over to him.
REMY
You really shouldn’t be here during
restaurant hours, it’s not safe.
EMILE
I’m hungry. And I don’t need the
inside food to be happy. The key,
my friend, is to not be picky.
Observe...
REMY
No-- WAIT--
Remy grabs Emile’s tail and pulls him clear. A HINGE DROPS,
trapping Remy inside a CAGE. Emile rushes to Remy, panicked.
EMILE
Oh no! What’ll we do?! I’ll go get
Dad!
SKINNER
You may think you are a chef, but
you are still... only a rat.
The cooks are sitting now, bored out of their minds. Linguini
is still talking.
LINGUINI (CONT’D)
-sure he took away a star last time
he reviewed this place. Sure, it
probably killed Gust-- Dad.
LALO
(softly to himself)
Oh, this is very bad juju here-o.
LINGUINI (CONT’D)
But I’ll tell you one thing--
99.
MUSTAFA
Ego is here.
The air is suddenly sucked from the room. The cooks stand
alert, frightened. Sensing what is needed, Colette steps up.
COLETTE
Arnot Ego is just another customer.
Let’s cook!
LINGUINI
(a beat too late)
Yeah--! Let’s-- okay...
SKINNER
So! I have in mind a simple arrange-
ment; you will create for me a new
line of Chef Skinner frozen foods,
and I, in return, will not kill
you.
SKINNER
Au revoir, rat!
MUSTAFA
Do you know what you’d like this
evening, sir?
EGO
Yes, I think I do. After reading a
lot of overheated puffery about
your new cook, you know what I’m
craving? A little perspective.
EGO
That’s it. I’d like some fresh,
clear, well-seasoned perspective.
Can you suggest a good wine to go
with that?
MUSTAFA
(baffled)
With what, sir?
EGO
Perspective. Fresh out, I take it?
MUSTAFA
Uh... I’m sorry?
MUSTAFA
Very well. Since you’re all out of
perspective and no one else seems
to have it in this bloody town,
I’ll make you a deal; you provide
the food, I’ll provide the
perspective. Which would go nicely
with a bottle of Cheval Blanc 1947.
MUSTAFA
Uhm... I’m afraid I-- I didn’t...
your dinner selection...?
EGO
Tell your “Chef Linguini” that I
want whatever he dares to serve to
me. Tell him to “hit me with his
best shot”.
SKINNER
(deep voice)
I will have whatever he is having.
101.
Remy sits in the corner of his cage, alone and defeated. The
GUSTEAU SPRITE appears. He studies Remy, speaking quietly.
GUSTEAU
So... we’ve given up.
REMY
Why do you say that?
GUSTEAU
(looks around, shrugs)
We are in a cage. Inside a car
trunk. Awaiting a future in frozen
food products.
REMY
No, I’m the one in a cage. I’ve
given up. You... are free.
GUSTEAU
I am only as free as you imagine me
to be. As you are.
REMY
Oh please. I’m sick of pretending.
I pretend to be a rat for my
father. I pretend to be a human
through Linguini. I pretend you
exist so I have someone to talk to!
You only tell me stuff I already
know! I know who I am! Why do I
need you to tell me? Why do I need
to pretend?
GUSTEAU
Ah, but you don’t, Remy...
GUSTEAU (CONT’D)
...you never did.
DJANGO
No. My OTHER left!
REMY
Dad?!!
REMY
Emile!
REMY
I love you guys.
-then scrambles out the trunk and takes off toward GUSTEAU’S.
DJANGO
Where you going??
REMY
(calling back)
Back to the restaurant! They’ll
fail without me!
DJANGO
WHY DO YOU CARE??
REMY
BECAUSE I’M A COOK!!
103.
HORST
It’s your recipe! How can you not
know your own recipe??
LINGUINI
I didn’t write it down, it just--
came to me!
HORST
Well make it come to you again,
because we can’t serve this!!
MUSTAFA LINGUINI
Where’s my order?? Can’t we serve them something
else?? Something I didn’t
invent??
LA ROUSSE LINGUINI
This is what they’re Make them order something
ordering!! else!! Tell them we’re all
out!
POMPIDOU LA ROUSSE
We can’t be all out, we just I have another idea; what if
opened- we served them what they
order??
COLETTE LINGUINI
We will make it. Just tell us I don’t know what I did!
what you did!
HORST LINGUINI
We need to tell the customers (hysteria building)
something! Then tell them-- tell them--
AUGH!!
Linguini runs into his office and slams the door closed.
LA ROUSSE
(to Lalo, beat)
“Augh”...?
104.
DJANGO EMILE
Remy! They’ll see you! STOP!
--but Remy pushes them away long enough to get inside the
doorway, exposing himself to two COOKS. The other rats HIDE.
COLETTE
He’s come far too fast! Could you
do more with as little experience??
HORST
We are not talking about me! We’re
talking about what to do right n--!
COLETTE
RAAAAT!!
LINGUINI
DON’T TOUCH HIM!!
LINGUINI
I know this sounds insane. But-
well, the truth sounds insane
sometimes, but that doesn’t mean
it’s not. The truth.
LINGUINI
And the truth is I have no talent
at all. But this Rat... he’s the
one behind these recipes. He’s the
cook. The real cook. Little Chef?
LINGUINI (CONT’D)
He’s been hiding under my toque. He
chooses the ingredients, the spices-
LINGUINI (CONT’D)
--he’s been controlling my actions.
LINGUINI (CONT’D)
He’s the reason I can cook the food
that’s exciting everyone, the
reason Ego is outside that door.
You’ve been giving me credit for
his gift. I know it’s a hard thing
to believe, but hey-- you believed
I could cook, right?
LINGUINI
Look. This works. It’s crazy, but
it works. We can be the greatest
restaurant in Paris. And this rat,
this brilliant little Chef can lead
us there. Whaddya say? You with me?
--hands him his apron and toque... EXITING silently out the
back door. Linguini watches-- stunned-- as, one by one, the
rest of the STAFF exits with him, leaving only COLETTE.
She exhales, her heart racing at the close call. She looks
up. A familiar COOKBOOK beckons from the display window of a
used book store: Gusteau’s “ANYONE CAN COOK”.
Alone in the empty kitchen, Remy faces the dining room door,
feeling Ego on the other side, waiting. Remy slowly turns
away... then realizes that DJANGO is also there.
REMY
Dad--!
(he goes to Django)
Dad, I-- I don’t know what to say.
DJANGO
I was wrong about your friend. And
about you.
REMY
Dad, I don’t want you to think I’m
choosing this over family. I can’t
choose between two halves of myself-
DJANGO
I’m not talking about cooking. I’m
talking about guts. This really
means that much to you?
DJANGO
We’re not cooks, but we are family.
You tell us what to do and we’ll
get it done.
A DOOR CREAK turns the rats attention to the back door where--
--THE HEALTH INSPECTOR has just entered. His eyes bug at the
surreal sight: the KITCHEN IS FILLED WITH RATS. Slowly, he
backs toward the EXIT... and BOLTS!
REMY
STOP THAT HEALTH INSPECTOR!
DJANGO
DELTA TEAM FOLLOW ME! THE REST OF
YOU STAY AND HELP REMY!
The inspector JAMS his keys into the ignition and turns. The
ENGINE won’t turn over. He glances at the rear view mirror
and sees: a ground-level STAMPEDE OF RATS moving out from the
kitchen TOWARD HIM.
REMY
TEAM THREE WILL BE HANDLING FISH,
TEAM FOUR: ROASTED ITEMS, TEAM
FIVE: GRILL, TEAM SIX: SAUCES! GET
TO YOUR STATIONS! LET’S GO GO GO!
LINGUINI
LINGUINI
We need someone to wait tables.
CHEFS OFFICE
DINING AREA
LINGUINI
No, I’m sorry for any delay, but
we’re a little short tonight.
SKINNER
Please. Take all the time you need.
KITCHEN
KITCHEN
LINGUINI
Colette! You came back. Colette, I--
COLETTE
DON’T say a word. If I think about
it I might change my mind. Just
tell me what the rat wants to cook.
MOMENTS LATER
COLETTE
Ratatouille? It’s a peasant dish.
Are you sure you want to serve this
to Ego?
Colette shrugs, going with the strange night, and goes to add
the first spice to the ratatouille, but is blocked by a
WOODEN SPOON. She looks up: sees it’s held by Remy.
COLETTE
What. I’m making the ratatouille...
COLETTE
Well, how would you prepare it?
SKINNER
Ratatouille? They must be joking...
ON EGO
His young mother turns from her cooking, and gives him a
sympathetic smile. Like all mothers, she knows what to do.
MOMENTS LATER
Ego blinks. His eyes fall to his empty fork, which he holds
suspended near his mouth. Slowly a long-lost feeling blooms
inside him. He smiles. And has another forkful.
SKINNER
(as he eats)
No... no, it can’t be...
KITCHEN
SKINNER
Who cooked the ratatouille?! I
demand to know!
A kitchen full of RATS all stop and LOOK UP AT HIM. CUT TO--
DINING AREA
A long FINGER dabs the last smear of remaining sauce from the
plate of ratatouille. We follow it to Ego’s smiling lips. He
kisses the sauce off his finger tip and turns to Linguini.
EGO
I can’t remember the last time I
asked a waiter to give my
compliments to the Chef. And now I
find myself in the extraordinary
position of having my waiter be the
Chef...
LINGUINI
I’m just your waiter tonight.
EGO
Then who do I thank for the meal?
LINGUINI
Excuse me a minute.
EGO
Ah, you must be the Ch--
COLETTE
(interrupts)
If you wish to meet the Chef you
will have to wait until all the
other customers have gone.
EGO
So be it.
LATER. The restaurant has cleared, save for Ego, who waits
with grim patience. Linguini and Colette emerge from the
kitchen and silently cross to Ego’s table, Linguini holding a
toque upright on the flat of and outstretched hand.
REMY (V.O.)
At first, Ego thinks it’s a joke,
but as Linguini explains, Ego’s
smile disappears...
REMY (V.O.)
He doesn’t react beyond asking an
occasional question.
DINING AREA
REMY (V.O.)
And when the story is done, Ego
stands, thanks us for the meal--
EGO
Thank you for the meal.
REMY (V.O.)
The following day his review
appears...
EGO (V.O.)
In many ways the work of a critic
is easy. We risk very little, yet
enjoy a position over those who
offer up their work and their
selves to our judgement. We thrive
on negative criticism, which is fun
to write and to read.
EGO (V.O.)
But, the bitter truth we critics
must face is that, in the grand
scheme of things... the average
piece of junk is probably more
meaningful than our criticism
designating it so. But there are
times when a critic truly risks
something... and that is in the
discovery and defense of the new.
EGO (V.O.)
The world is often unkind to new
talent, new creations. The new
needs friends.
EGO (V.O.)
Last night I experienced something
new, an extraordinary meal from an
singularly unexpected source.
To say that both the meal and its
maker have challenged my
preconceptions about fine cooking,
is a gross understatement-- they
have rocked me to my core.
EGO (V.O.,CONT’D)
It is difficult to imagine more
humble origins than those of the
genius now cooking at Gusteau’s,
who is, in this critic’s opinion,
nothing less than the finest Chef
in France.
EGO (V.O.,CONT’D)
I will be returning to Gusteau’s
soon, hungry for more.
115.
REMY (V.O.)
It was a great night. The happiest
of my life. But the only thing
predictable about life is its--
REMY (CONT’D)
...he’s doing very well as a small
business investor. He seems very
happy.
TEEN RAT
How do you know?
Remy smiles and points through the small window into the main
dining room. There ANTON EGO, whose face now has color and a
few new pounds, dines happily at a prime table.
REMY
(to other rats)
Gotta go. Dinner rush.
The BASKET with Remy drops to the counter and Remy hops off.
Colette sets down a plate of Remy’s now-famous Ratatouille,
leaving the finish to Remy.
COLETTE
You know how he likes it.
LINGUINI
Can I interest you in a dessert
this evening?
EGO
Don’t you always?
LINGUINI
Which one would you like?
Ego grins, turns toward the window in the kitchen door where
Remy is watching, and calls out--
EGO
Surprise me...!
LA Ratatouille.
FINE’(THE END).