You are ENFJ –

The Veteran!

As the ENFJ Veteran, you seek to help loved ones learn, grow,
and live more happily, so they can gain greater lasting joy.

Version 1.1.0 Updated 18 July 2015

There are numerous stereotypes and misconceptions about
personality typing, but here we’ll get to the root of it all:
Cognition, the underlying thoughts and desires that make
you who you are in your own individual way. You think the
way you do for a reason. Your secret desires, interests, and
fears make sense. Learning to understand how you think,
why, and what you can do with it, naturally helps everything
in life go more smoothly.

Cognitive typing is not a listing of simplistic limits or divisive

caricatures. It’s a set of tools, an open-ended guide to help
you better understand everything that’s already been going
on inside you. This equips you to derive ever greater benefit,
insight, and enjoyment out of being the incredibly complex
and unique person you really are.

So, what does it really mean to be a cognitive ENFJ?

You’ve probably run into the letters ENFJ before, maybe
online or in books you’ve read. Unfortunately, the way most
sources define those letters is often a little shaky, focusing
on behaviors instead of cognition. But behaviors change
throughout a person’s life, and two people might do the
same behaviors for very different reasons. This leads to a
difficulty in really nailing down who is and isn’t ENFJ, caus-
ing subjective arguments on the matter all over the internet.
Worse, it leads to simplified misconceptions about what
ENFJ actually means. Getting back to the roots of cognition,
your underlying thoughts and reasons why you do what you
do, allows us to cut past all the simplifications and subjectiv-
ity.

Perhaps when you opened up this document and saw ENFJ,

you immediately remembered unpleasant stereotypes that
certainly don’t apply to you. ENFJs are often portrayed as
superficially social, flighty, weak, and even cultish, so you
may have been tempted to think you couldn’t possibly be
ENFJ. Well good, because those sorts of oversimplifications
are simply untrue. They’re stereotypes that have nothing at
all to do with cognition, coming from shaky definitions of the
letters that end up contradicting themselves and falling
apart under the rigors of experience. Human thought is far
more complex than that!
Being a cognitive ENFJ does not place any limits whatsoever
on your abilities, talents, career aptitude, behaviors, or atti-
tudes. You can decide who you want to be. As you come to
understand the way you already cognate, you’ll naturally
end up getting out of your own way, striding forward as the
person you’ve always been rather than sabotaging yourself
by trying to hide who you really want to be.

These letters are merely a representation of the way you

naturally approach the world. In every thought, every expe-
rience, and every interaction, we each make unconscious
choices about what we’re going to focus on most. These un-
witting choices display what matters to us the most. Being
an ENFJ means that deep down, what matters most to you is
helping the people you care about learn, grow, and become
genuinely happier. Your mind constantly chooses what to
focus on first, based on this desire that reflects the core of
everything it means to be you.

This leaves all behaviors, attitudes, and abilities open to you,

yet you will always end up approaching them in a way that
reflects your deepest desire. All the letters and all their ef-
fects are simply results of what your mind naturally priori-
tizes in life, based on what you want most. Now let’s get into
defining those letters, so you can know what you’re working
with, get past all the simplified limitations, and just be you!
E – Extravert

Being a cognitive Extravert has nothing to do with how so-

cial you are. Rather, it simply means that you naturally look
outward at the world around you in order to form thoughts,
decide on actions, and make judgments. You tend to ob-
serve, considering the opinions of others and the behaviors
of your surroundings, and then you form thoughts from
those observations. While cognitive Introverts naturally
form thoughts in the quiet laboratories of their own heads
before testing those thoughts against the real world, Extra-
verts usually form their thoughts in observant reference to
the people, objects, and events around them.

Social extraversion, by contrast, is a behavioral habit that

can change depending on a person’s situation or mood. Cog-
nition is the natural framework of thought beneath all one’s
changing habits and behaviors, the inner self that motivates
all actions and attitudes of every kind. So don’t worry if you
don’t feel particularly socially extraverted; that’s an entirely
different matter from cognitive Extraversion. Most sources
in books and online deal with behavioral habits like social
extraversion or introversion, but those behaviors are not
cognition. Behaviors are about what you do, which can
change dramatically in varying situations, but cognition is
about how you think, beneath any and all behaviors.
There are times to be socially extraverted and times to be
socially introverted, and any healthy person of any type will
learn to develop both. Being overly socially extraverted can
in fact be a coping mechanism, a way to try to escape or dis-
tract oneself from personal doubts or insecurities. Likewise,
being overly socially introverted can also be a coping tech-
nique, keeping others at arm’s length in order to avoid hav-
ing one’s pain or weaknesses brought into the light. Either
behavior can be enjoyed healthily or clung to unhealthily,
and all people, of all types, can be equally healthy or un-
healthy in their social habits.
Yet cognitive Extraverts, regardless of their social habits, ap-
proach all situations by looking outside themselves first in
order to gather information. Everyone processes infor-
mation inside their heads, and everyone observes outward,
but cognitive Extraverts observe first before anything else.
They look to the opinions of others in order to form their
own, seeking to gather other points of view to create a relia-
ble opinion of their own. Extraverts constantly harvest the
beliefs, habits, actions, and abilities of others, in order to
gauge how best to act and think. They’re always mentally
looking outward.
Being so focused outward, Extraverts can find it difficult to
make decisions without input from others; this can in fact
induce some cognitive Extraverts to behave socially intro-
verted! They prefer to have someone to bounce ideas off of,
and can feel at a loss when left to decide on their own. On
the flip side, though, this focus on other people equips Extra-
verts to better take into account the desires, reactions, and
choices of others, adapting their own desires and plans ac-
cordingly.

Extraverts especially desire appreciation for all they do, and

can feel particular hurt from feeling taken for granted. Eve-
ryone likes to be appreciated, but with their outward focus
on the world and people around them, Extraverts have a
natural need for their efforts and successes to be recognized
and praised. This focus on other people’s thoughts and opin-
ions can also lead Extraverts to be a bit morally relativist. It
can be harder for them to stand up for what they know to be
right in a situation, since they’re so used to considering the
viewpoints of so many people. The objective facts of a situa-
tion can be very complex, and different people may view the
same facts very differently, so this can make it difficult for
Extraverts to stand up for what they really believe. They can
of course learn to better acknowledge what they know, deep
down, to be right, but their constant outward observation
means that it comes a little less naturally to them.
All this observation can sometimes cause Extraverts to be
pretty quiet, taking in information like a vacuum while si-
lently watching and listening to everything going on around
them. Their focus on observation can make them appear es-
pecially socially introverted at times. After looking outward
to observe, Extraverts need to quietly process all the infor-
mation they’ve gathered. They observe first, but afterward
they tend to become very thoughtful and introspective.
Wisdom, understanding, and quiet, thoughtful insights are
equally available to healthy people of all cognitive types.
J – Judger

Judger vs. Perceiver is one of the most crucial factors in any-

one’s cognition, yet it’s also one of the most commonly mis-
understood. There are stereotypes and oversimplifications
about all the letter pairs, causing people to be mistyped or
made to feel that their own type is inferior in some way, and
that doesn’t help anyone. But unlike the other three letter
pairs, the difference between Judger and Perceiver entirely
changes a person’s whole cognition process. The switching
of just this one pair of letters produces a completely differ-
ent order of cognition steps, resulting in nearly opposite
strengths and weaknesses. A person who’s mistyped be-
tween Judger and Perceiver might end up feeling confused
about how their type thinks, what they excel at and what
they need to watch out for, because the switching of these
two letters changes around the entire cognition process.

As a Judger, you are not any less fun or spontaneous, and you
are not necessarily any more organized, responsible, or deci-
sive, regardless of the plentiful oversimplifications on the
matter. Judgers simply prefer to chart a course and see it
through, doing whatever’s necessary to make it work along
the way. Even if it requires sacrifice, determination, or pain,
Judgers want to be up to the task of doing whatever it takes
to reach their goals. Some Judgers may be finicky or obses-
sively punctual, and some may be messy or scatterbrained,
yet all Judgers focus on plotting a course and following it
through. They get great satisfaction from finding ways to see
their will become reality, even if it means they don’t take as
much time considering all the possible routes they might
take to get there.

Judgers view the world and all experiences as destinations

on a clear and definable roadmap. They approach life as an
endless series of challenges that can be overcome, more than
a wide playground of puzzles to be explored. This does not
make them close-minded or rigid, nor does it justify such
unhealthy attitudes; it’s simply a means by which they can
understand, enjoy, and improve everything in and around
them. By chasing life, they learn from it and appreciate it,
and learn more about themselves, others, and the whole
world as a result.

Judgers therefore enjoy planning out actions in advance,

mapping out each step ahead as a way to grasp as much of
life as they can. While this can result in an overly controlling
attitude, all types can be controlling when unhealthy. For
healthy Judgers, though, planning becomes a way of enjoying
the idea of things even before they’re reached, a sort of appe-
tizer before something is actually experienced. Judgers must
learn to keep their plans fluid, however, because in practice
even the best laid plans frequently don’t pan out quite as im-
agined. The more Judgers take joy in adapting their prede-
termined plans to all the unexpected changes of reality, ra-
ther than attempting to cling to their original course, the
more they’ll get to enjoy seeing those plans succeed.

All the same, Judgers might tend to find it difficult to notice

alternative options that Perceivers would see right away.
Their focus is on moving forward, on grasping life and taking
it in, so they simply don’t allocate as much energy to consid-
ering other potential courses to get there. A better way to
reach their preplanned objective might be sitting right under
their nose, but they’ll be too excited moving forward to even
notice it. Learning to slow down, consider more and more
alternatives, and above all, learning to see the equal validity
and effectiveness of Perceivers, will help any Judger rocket
forward with gusto along the best possible paths.

This is not to say that Judgers can’t grow quite adept at con-
sidering new options and learning new tools to apply to life’s
challenges; it’s simply not their primary focus. And likewise,
healthy Perceivers can become very driven to see plans
through, yet the accomplishment of deliberate plans isn’t
their main focus. The more Judgers let themselves be Judg-
ers, the more they’ll naturally find themselves learning new
tools and seeing more varied options with ease. The more
they take healthy joy in setting goals and doing what it takes
to make them succeed, the more they’ll want to consider bet-
ter alternative ways to make that happen. But if they’re
made to feel embarrassed when their plans don’t pan out
quite like they hoped, if they feel the need to succeed quickly
and simply on the first try, then they might become bitter or
afraid to try anything new, in case the new method doesn’t
work easily the first time.

It’s exhilarating to see goals become reality, and to put one’s

head down and do whatever it takes to get there. But when
others or one’s own ego demands quick and easy success, it
can be tempting to believe that if a goal can’t be reached
right away, then it cannot be reached at all. While Perceivers
may sometimes spend so much energy considering options
that they fail to make a decision and go forward, Judgers can
become afraid to take any time to change course, back up, or
evaluate other options, in an effort to prove that their plan
can work.

The ability to say, “You know what? Even if it doesn’t work

the first time, or the second, or the twelfth, I will get there
and I’ll get better at it by trying!” is a powerful attitude that
frees Judgers to accomplish far greater objectives. Judgers
excel at doing what it takes to make plans into reality, but
that strength goes to waste when they’re too embarrassed to
stick with a plan through the tough times. Yet as they take
honest pride in shouldering the burdens necessary to see
their plans through, as they recognize that such dogged de-
termination is a virtue and nothing to feel foolish about,
Judgers will find themselves more comfortable with slowing
down and considering better options without worrying
about quick or easy success. As always, the healthier we
grow in any letter, the more we naturally and automatically
gain the strengths of that letter and its opposite as well,
while gradually losing the weakness of both.
EJ – Extraverted Judger

The outward focus of Extraversion, combined with Judging’s

desire to plot a course in advance, yields a powerful atten-
tion and aptitude for taking deliberate, decisive action. You
look outward and set goals for what you’d like to see hap-
pen, and then you stride forward to make it happen. Per-
haps without you even realizing it, nearly everything you do
and think is goal-oriented. Not only do you get a thrill out of
completing checklists, you find it straightforward and sim-
ple. That’s not to say you can always keep up with every-
thing, but you find it remarkably obvious and fulfilling to try.

In fact, you may have

trouble understanding
why not everyone can
step up and follow
through on goals the way
you do. It’s simply the
most natural way for you
to accomplish things, the
most clear and basic way
for you to tackle anything.
But since that clearness
and ease is a result of your
Extraverted Judging, look-
ing outward to chart a path, you must always remember that
people of other cognitive types don’t work the way you do.
While plans and goals are a powerful, necessary tool that
you use to cut through opposition and make life better, so
too are the strengths of the other cognitive types equally ef-
fective, when used in their own ways. Other types would in
fact be less efficient if they tried to do it your way, just as you
might have trouble being effective without your way.

Since Extraverted Judging works with plans that are focused

outward, EJs naturally end up focusing on others. This caus-
es EJs to think in terms of particular groups of people, like
family, clubs, church, political parties, or any sort of group of
any size that brings together people of shared interests and
ideals: in other words, people with a shared plan. Those
who share your purpose are like your loyal team, and you
will do anything to help them, keep them safe, and care for
their needs.

However, anyone who appears to be a threat to your team

may seem to you to be an enemy. Anyone who seems to
make your team members unhappy, ineffective, or who in
any way stands between your team and its needs, may be-
come quickly demonized in your mind. Some people may
indeed oppose your team’s needs and goals, while others
may be perfectly well-meaning while only appearing to be a
threat. In either case, be very careful of the natural impulse
to go to war.

Beware of dividing people too strictly into friends and foes;

not only does this rob you of the benefits you could gain
from those you consider to be enemies, but it also blinds you
to the faults or even dangers of those on your team. As an EJ,
focused on deliberate plans, you naturally have difficulty
with drawing correct conclusions from the nuanced details
of a situation. Some of those you consider to be enemies
may be the best help you could imagine, while some you
consider friends may be the real cause of your team’s diffi-
culties. The solution is to remember that others’ desires are
not only valid, but may be of great benefit to your own de-
sires in ways you’d never have foreseen. Be cautious about
caring only for your team’s needs, and you’ll avoid the trap
of becoming your own worst enemy.

It’s natural for EJs to forget that there are entirely different
ways of thinking; all the types tend to forget that. Learn
from others, especially from IPs who excel in drawing cor-
rect conclusions from the nuances of situations. Seek out the
zoomed-out perspective of IJs, and the people-focus of EPs
who use action least of all. As you do, you can mitigate the
dangers of rushing headlong into planned, deliberate, yet
unwise courses of action. It can be tempting for EJs to hurtle
forward half-cocked, wanting to just reach their goal as
quickly as they can, but such eager haste can overlook er-
rors, dangers, or others’ feelings without ever meaning to.
Efficiency is powerful, but there’s no problem so bad, no cri-
sis so dire, that swift, decisive, wrong action can’t make
worse.

Be proud of your capacity for tenacity, the in-the-moment

decisiveness of Extraverted Judging. Don’t demean or lose
patience with those who approach life differently; learn from
them instead, yet always take joy in your unique power to
get things done. “Just do it,” is a perfect EJ mantra; plot the
course, and do whatever’s necessary to reach your journey’s
end. This is how you add to the world, how you understand
it, and how you take the most joy in everything.

EJs are sometimes maligned for being too focused on the lit-
tle things, too wrapped up in accomplishment that they lose
perspective on everything that really matters, but in truth
you’re supposed to enjoy getting things done! Yet antago-
nism frequently arises when EJs suggest that everyone
should be like them, which induces those of other types to
strike back. Keep learning more and more about other
types, more and more about other ways of approaching life,
see that there are numerous ways to be responsible, effec-
tive, and decisive, and as you do, you’ll feel freer to be happy,
decisive, and at peace in your EJ way.

You don’t need to get irritated when others choose wrong

action, or no action at all, for no apparent reason. Some
types are needed to be explorers, triers of new things, or
perhaps just have priorities you may not see. Embrace your
EJ ability to scorch through life like a lightning bolt of ac-
complishment, and others will appreciate you and find shel-
ter under your reliable actions. As you value others for their
strengths while boldly exercising your own, others will feel
freer to openly value you and support you, happy to fuel you
as you blaze on.
N – iNtuitive

As an iNtuitive, you are not necessarily smarter, more book-

ish, more rational, or more enlightened than Sensors. Like-
wise, you don’t have to be any less practical, less athletic, or
whatever else that oversimplified stereotypes may assert,
both in books and online. Being an iNtuitive simply means
that you see the world primarily in terms of concepts and
ideas, while Sensors tend to view life in terms of their own
experiences. iNtuitives view all their experiences in terms of
what they show conceptually, rather than the other way
around. Both are needed, and as with all the letters, every-
one does both. Yet iNtuitives view everything conceptually
first and foremost, before applying those concepts to their
own experiences.

This focus on concepts and ideas naturally results in seeing

all the world as an interconnected web, as every idea flows
into every other. No part of the web can be considered in
isolation, since a single change to one part of the great web
of reality will result in far-reaching changes to everything
else. iNtuitives tend to focus on the whole of life, people, sit-
uations, and experiences, rather than on the individual piec-
es that make them up. Everything is connected in a fantasti-
cally complex network or implications, contrasts, and effects.
This leads to an excited awareness of all the connections,
parallels, metaphors, and relationships between everything
in life, noticing how concepts fit together and seeing what
those relationships say.

iNtuitives thus try to understand things from as many sides

as possible, forming complex opinions that try to reflect all
the interconnected grandeur of their conceptual webs.
However, just because their opinions tend to be complex,
that doesn’t mean they’re necessarily accurate! One little
misconception in one unattended corner of their beliefs can
pull the whole web off balance. Because they focus so much
on concepts rather than experiences, iNtuitives can often be
the last ones to see just how far off the mark their opinions
have been pulled.
A concerted and deliberate effort to work on focusing on raw
experience, rather than conceptual ideas alone, can help to
gradually bring an iNtuitive’s web of opinions more and
more in line with reality. It can be tempting for iNtuitives to
try to shoehorn all experiences to fit with their conceptual
beliefs, but as they instead humble their ideas to adapt to the
harsh dictates of experience, they’ll be able to enjoy all the
conceptual beauty and complexity of reality without trying
to force it to fit any predetermined opinion.

Viewing everything in terms of ideas and concepts leads to

an awareness of potential combinations of events, ideas, or
actions, and all the possibilities that they can lead to. This
causes iNtuitives to frequently focus on trying to imagine
things that could be, rather than trying to protect things that
already are. Of course this is powerful, but they must be
careful not to neglect the good in things as they already are.
All too often, iNtuitives are tempted to not appreciate what
they have, throwing out the good with the bad in their drive
to reach for new things.

On the flip side, iNtuitives can sometimes resist and fear

change, pessimistically clinging to things as they are when
they cannot see a better way that could be. In both cases, the
harsh realities of experience can dispel the arrogance of pes-
simism about things that might be, and demonstrate the pre-
ciousness of things that already are. Protecting and appreci-
ating good things that already exist is a necessary fuel in any
effective pursuit of things that have never yet been, and con-
stantly adapting one’s ideas to fit with experience is a neces-
sary anchor to the pursuit of thoughts that have never yet
been imagined.

As always, both iNtuition and Sensing are needed, and both

can be equally healthy or unhealthy. Healthy iNtuitives
should cultivate a careful protection of the good in the world
and an awareness of raw experience instead of only inter-
connected concept, yet they should also enjoy allowing their
main focus to be on the conceptual whole, and all the excit-
ing and awesome things that could yet be! While numerous
stereotypes portray iNtuition as over-idealistic or impracti-
cal, all types can be practical or impractical, pessimistic or
idealistic, in their own unique ways.

Indeed, any attempt to imagine conceptual possibilities

without practicality is simply unhealthy. Such impracticality
tends to come from overlooking the interconnected com-
plexity of practical ingredients necessary to make an idea in-
to reality. Healthier iNtuition keeps track of more complexi-
ty, not less, and therefore grows ever more practical and ev-
er more daring in its dreams for the future. The more an iN-
tuitive lets themselves be an iNtuitive, seeing all the inter-
connected conceptual nature of everyone and everything,
the more practical, appreciative, and effective they’ll become
in all their hopes and ideals.
F – Feeler

As a Feeler, you are not necessarily any more emotional,

sappy, irrational, weak, or whatever else the numerous ste-
reotypes may say about Feeling. Being a Feeler simply
means that you focus first on the intrinsic meaning and sig-
nificance of things, before seeking ways to put them to use.
Everyone looks at both meaning and use, but Feelers focus
first and foremost on the meaning and inherent precious-
ness of the world, events, and people.

This means that Feelers want ideas, people, and the world in
general to live up to the meaning they see in them. When
anything seems to fall short of its potential preciousness,
such as when a person decides to be selfish, or a potentially
brilliant philosophy turns out to be flawed, such failure will
be particularly disappointing to a Feeler. Yet all this focus on
meaning gives Feelers a compelling and powerful ability to
see, understand, and then make use of the significance and
meaning in people, events, and ideas. Meaning thus has a
use all its own.

Any healthy Feeler will learn to care for the necessities of

use as well as the wider perspective of meaning, but their
natural focus will still be on meaning foremost. This results
in a more zoomed-out view of everything, focusing on the
whole picture and the purpose and meaning of each part
within that picture. In a way, “meaning” is nothing more
than “use in the context of the whole, big picture.”

It is the focus on this wide, sweeping meaning that gives

Feelers an almost effortless ability to grasp the context of
that big picture, even when they’re not at all aware of all its
varied details. This provides a zoomed-out pragmatism, see-
ing what must be done in the context of the whole. Feelers
therefore tend to find themselves focused more on end goals,
which protects them from getting lost by focusing on only
the road to get there. It is this sense of perspective and con-
text that fuels meaning and gives it its unique usefulness,
without which Thinkers might quickly paint themselves into
corners.
The differences between Feelers and Thinkers have gar-
nered a particularly large amount of stereotypes, many of
which seem flat-out mean spirited. Feelers are no less ra-
tional than Thinkers, and Thinkers are no less emotional
than Feelers; everyone, of every type, can and should be both
healthily emotional and rational. And every cognitive type is
equally prone to being overemotional, each in unique ways.
The difference doesn’t lie between Feelers and Thinkers, but
rather, between being healthy or unhealthy in general. An
overly emotion-driven psyche is an unhealthy one, and every
type is equally vulnerable to being hijacked by their own
emotions in times of stress or weakness, each in their differ-
ent ways.

Now, the wide, sweeping perspective of Feelers can some-

times appear to simulate greater connection with emotion.
A focus on the meaning and significance of things within the
context of the whole picture can generate great feelings of
hope or despair, wonder or contempt. These are big feel-
ings, and noticeable ones. Yet so, too, can Thinkers’ focus on
the specific uses of things elicit more immediate emotions of
joy or frustration, excitement or disappointment, or any oth-
er conceivable feeling. Thinkers are no less emotional than
Feelers, and no less vulnerable or tender in any way. Feel-
ers’ emotions focus more on the whole picture, and Think-
ers’ emotions are most often applied to specific uses or mis-
uses of things; apart from that, both can enjoy equal connec-
tion with emotion, as well as equal risk of overemotional ir-
rationality.

And no healthy person, of any type, should indulge in irra-

tionality or emotional subjectivity. Healthy Feelers are not
subjective in their views; they seek to focus on the objective,
measurable significance of things in the context of every-
thing else, while healthy Thinkers focus on the objective and
measurable use of things in their own right. Subjectivity, re-
action, and impulsive emotion are neither a Feeler trait nor a
Thinker trait; they’re simply human, and all types are equal-
ly equipped to master them healthily, in their own ways.

In the same manner, all types can learn to be in touch with

their emotions and all the power therein, each in their own
specialized way. To be human is to have emotions, and
that’s good! Healthy, bridled emotions provide vital per-
spective that human thought alone cannot hope to contain.
Healthy emotion reminds us of truths we might be entirely
unaware of, even as we feel that they’re there. This is why
emotion can be such a powerful, guiding light, at times
dwarfing conscious reason. Yet this is also why runaway
emotions are so dangerous, smothering all attempts at rea-
son and balanced perspective, just as all powerful things are
dangerous when they run amok.
This sheer power of emotions, and their ability to remind us
of things our thoughts alone cannot keep track of, is why
suppressed emotions always find a way to influence all our
thoughts, views, and actions. This makes suppressed emo-
tions much more dangerous, because their sweeping influ-
ence is ignored even while they steer conscious thought.
The quickest way to be controlled by emotion is to pretend it
isn’t a factor, thereby letting it run unattended in the back of
our minds, coloring all experiences and skewing all opinions
and ideas. Only unhealthy people, whether Thinkers or
Feelers, attempt to suppress emotion, or indulge in being
driven by it.

Regardless of how unemotional some may seem, those who

are the most quiet about their emotions are often the ones
who nurture them the most deeply, whether they mean to or
not. Being a Feeler therefore does not mean you’re doomed
to be weak, wishy-washy, or unreasonable in any way, nor
does it justify such unhealthy coping mechanisms. And
while some may attempt to be coldly unemotional, that de-
sire is often a very emotional desire in and of itself, usually
resulting from fear, loneliness, or pride.

Such attempts to be unemotional are an example of un-

healthiness. While blubbery, stereotypical emotions can cer-
tainly get in the way of reason, so also can emotions like dis-
taste, discomfort at unwelcome ideas, and disdain or pessi-
mism block all rational thought. These sorts of negative
emotions are still emotions, yet they often replace reason for
those who consider themselves unemotional.

Yet when reason and emotion are nurtured together in their

natural relationship, we can live safely above either extreme
of overemotional subjectivity, or falsely emotionless hard-
ness. We can cultivate a rational and honest approach to life
by remembering that emotions, when heeded, will lead to
new discoveries and protect from unseen hazards. Feelings
of all kinds can help us prioritize where we should employ
our thoughts and our energy. Without emotion, logic loses
context and perspective, causing it to neglect key principles
and wander into inaccuracy. Healthy emotion is free to all
types, both Thinkers and Feelers, each in their different
ways.
NF – iNtuitive Feeler

With iNtuition viewing life as an interconnected web of con-

cepts, iNtuitive Feelers naturally focus on how the meaning
of each thing connects with the meaning of everything else.
The significance and preciousness of anything affects the
significance of everything; the loss or violation of the mean-
ing of one thing has damaging effects on the preciousness of
related things, in a widening ripple effect. Likewise, when
anything is honored, respected, and valued for its intrinsic
worth, then everything related to it becomes easier to treas-
ure.

NFs naturally think according to these relationships, seeking

to understand the full meaning of whatever it is they care
about. Looking to the future of what things could become,
iNtuitive Feelers want to help the things they care about
grow to be ever more meaningful, even if it means that those
things have to change. Healthy NFs are not afraid to change
the things, ideals, and people they care about, in order to
help them attain all the dignity, value, and joy that they can
grow into.

Both intrinsic meaning and concepts are timeless things, and

NFs tend to think of things in the context of all time as a wide
and infinite whole. Context is the big word for all NFs.
Whether they care most about principles or data, actions or
people, they’ll view it in terms of how it fits into the big pic-
ture of everything else, how its context in that grand whole
defines its precious worth.

This timeless attitude causes NFs to think of people, actions,

and everything in terms of justice and mercy: Is this action
or idea just or deserved? Or is it undeserved, yet merciful
according to the needs and value of those involved? Or is it
flat out cruel, or unjust? Often without realizing it, NFs think
of right and wrong in these terms. Justice and mercy are
good, each in their proper place according to the needs and
value of those involved, while injustice and cruelty are bad,
and are often misapplications of runaway mercy or justice.
iNtuitive Feelers excel in understanding the far reaching im-
plications and applications of justice and mercy, but they
should be careful to remember that there are many other
facets of right and wrong, good and bad, and everything that
makes life worth living.
Cognition Steps – ENFJ

Now, we can combine all your letters to find your full cogni-
tive specialty: ENFJ! By combining the four Scopes—EJ, EP,
IJ, and IP—with the four Objectives—NF, NT, SF, and ST—we
derive the sixteen different facets of cognition, each with its
own unique strengths and specializations, which all the oth-
er types depend on. And each comes with its own particular
weaknesses as well, needing the support of other types who
are strong in those areas. Only with all sixteen types com-
bined can we enjoy and benefit from the entire spectrum of
zoomed in and zoomed out perspectives, collective and indi-
vidual focuses, usefulness and meaning, things as they are
and things as they can yet become. A deeper understanding
of each type leads to better use and appreciation for all types
of cognition.

As an ENFJ, your entire cognition revolves around your

unique combination of these cognitive variables: the EJ
Scope focusing on decisive, deliberate action, and the NF Ob-
jective seeking the meaning of things as they could be. This
unique combination prompts every thought, motivates every
action, counsels every judgment and inspires every
worldview. It sums up the end goal of everything you pur-
sue, the result of the things that matter the most to you in
your most private heart.
Every time you’re faced with any decision, any thought or
feeling, any experience or person or anything, your mind
naturally races through four cognitive steps. The order of
these cognitive steps depends on your unique Scope and Ob-
jective, as you subconsciously focus first on the things that
matter the most to you. You’re probably so used to thinking
in your own order, all the time, that it may seem like the only
natural way to think. This makes it all the more amazing
that people of differing cognition approach the same world
so differently, each offering something unique and powerful
to share.

As an ENFJ, your first cognition step is

to go forward and take Action, because
that’s what matters most to you! You
look outward to see what Actions
would be have the most meaning and
value (Fe, or extraverted Feeling), and
you take Action and form opinions ac-
cordingly.
 Secondly, you turn inward to review the re-
sults of your Actions and opinions. You draw
conceptual connections in your mind (Ni, or
introverted iNtuition) in order to understand
the overarching Principles of how the world
works.

Thirdly, you take these

Principles into account as
you Observe people around
you. You look outward and
judge by what you see (Se, or extraverted
Sensing) and compare it with your Princi-
ples in order to discern others’ motives
and character.

Fourthly and finally, you use what you’ve Ob-

served in order to draw conclusions about
the details of the situation. You consider the
Data of everything you’ve seen, and draw the
most useful, beneficial conclusion you can (Ti,
or introverted Thinking).

And then the cycle starts over: The conclu-

sions you draw lead you to take new, mean-
ingful Actions and form evolving opinions via
Fe (extraverted Feeling), your fourth step feeding back into
your first, over and over. You may go through this entire cy-
cle of cognition many times in a single second without even
noticing.

Data and the resulting conclusions are your fourth and final
cognition step because they’re what you focus on the least.
This makes Data the weakest of your cognitive steps. As you
stride forward taking deliberate action, it can be easy to rush
past important details that would entirely change your opin-
ions and conclusions about a situation. And even when you
do notice details, it can be hard to keep all their implications
straight as you go forward forming new opinions. This is
nothing to be embarrassed about. Every type has a weak-
ness, just as every type has a strength that may appear al-
most superhuman to other types.

Healthy EJs can naturally accomplish long lists of tasks with

precision while other types would be struggling to even get
started. Healthy IPs, on the flip side, delve deep into probing
questions that others might never even think to ask. IJs pro-
vide complex and comprehensive answers to even the most
baffling of those questions, while EPs see right to the core of
people with speed and surety that might seem reckless to
others. All the types need each other; this is why we call
them the Type Heroes! Each approaches the same world
from such a different angle, and each supports, guides, and
teaches every other. By seeking out and learning from other
types, especially types that think very differently from you,
you can grow stronger in all your cognition steps.

And usually the best way to grow more reliable and strong in
all your cognitive steps is to focus on your first step. This is
the step that your mind naturally prioritizes first anyway;
it’s what you care about the most, even when you might feel
like you shouldn’t. As you focus on paying attention to your
first step, you’ll find that all your other cognitive steps grow
sharper and stronger as a result, almost automatically.
When it comes to cognition, play to your strengths and your
weaknesses will grow to keep up.

It’s when people focus too much on trying to improve their

fourth step directly that they tend to become defensive, de-
pressed, and discouraged about it, often neglecting their
strengths and falling into denial that they even have a weak-
ness. Some such people try to cover their weakness by inad-
vertently posing as a different cognitive type, in order to act
like others who don’t share their weak area. Yet this usually
results in only a parody of the type they’re trying to become,
attempting to gain the strengths of another type without
first mastering their own. You can develop all the strengths
of all the types, but you cannot do it by
trying to fight or suppress what you nat-
urally want most. Let your first cognitive
step be your focus, let yourself be you,
and then you’ll be free to grow to be-
come everything you want to become.

Focus on your strength of taking deliber-

ate action; as you do, your weakness in
drawing correct conclusions from details
will grow stronger of its own accord.
And remember, if you draw a wrong
conclusion, you can learn from it! Let
your opinions be tentative and your actions flexible, and
you’ll have less damage control to worry about. Beware of
getting down on yourself about details; enjoy striding confi-
dently forward toward your goals, and then you’ll learn how
to better bring joy, understanding, and experience to every-
one you love.
Type Specialization – ENFJ Veteran

Cognition is the result of where you naturally focus your at-

tention, your desires, and your interests. Regardless of what
your momentary desires or interests may be, each of us has
certain deep, secret hopes that mean more to us than any-
thing. While moods and opinions may change, these deepest
desires are such a pure reflection of who we really are. In a
world where there is so much to do, so much to experience,
so much need and so many discoveries waiting to be found,
we each inadvertently focus the most on some things over
others. The things that we focus on most of all reflect what
we want most out of life, deep down. This comes out
through cognition, as the unique specialization of your cog-
nitive type.

As the ENFJ Veteran, perhaps nothing is more important to

you than teaching, leading, helping, and caring for those you
love. Cognitively, you focus on taking appropriate actions
(EJ) to bring out the potential meaning (NF) that you and
your loved ones may enjoy. This causes you to think of eve-
rything in terms of how it applies to particular, real people
you know, rather than to theoretical people as a trend. What
matters most to you, deep down, is helping those close to
you learn, grow, and gain greater lasting joy.
This gives Veterans a timeless, ageless sense of wisdom, fo-
cusing on how their group fits into the context of all time.
They look to the past in order to consider what people have
done and what events have transpired, but ultimately they
live in the now, and are ever building the future. ENFJs live
for their group, their friends and loved ones, and anyone else
whose aims of meaning overlap with their own. The joys
and successes of their friends, as well as their pains and
heartaches, are nearly indistinguishable from the Veteran’s
own feelings, which leads healthy Veterans to readily sacri-
fice their own comfort and convenience for the good of any-
one in need.

None of this means that your specialization of teaching and

standing by others comes easy for you. You have to work at
it, just as much as anyone else would. The difference be-
tween you and other types is that you care to work at this,
above all else. Some may say that it’s just easier for you to
be caring, optimistic, or considerate of others’ points of view,
but that’s not true; you simply care enough about building
bridges between people, that you’re willing to work much
harder at it.

No cognitive type has it easy; every type has to work just as

hard at their specialization as anyone else would have to.
And every type has to deal with social pressure that tries to
make them feel ashamed or embarrassed of their unique
specialization. This pressure results in unhappiness and
deep, internal conflict, as people feel tempted to ignore their
specialization in an effort to not stand out, rock the boat, or
look foolish or make anyone else uncomfortable. When we
try to ignore our own deepest desires, the reflection of who
we really are and really can be, we feel torn, frustrated, and
unfulfilled.

This is why understanding our own cognition is so im-

portant! As we come to understand what we already wanted
in the first place, we learn how to get out of our own way.
We learn to let ourselves shine, rather than hiding our light.
The world needs what each of us can uniquely offer. We
need all the strengths of all the types; each is special at the
same time, because each is special in a different way. You
don’t do anyone any good when you hide your unique
strength, even if you’re afraid it will make others feel uncom-
fortable. Let yourself be the Veteran you are, patiently guide
others along the path, and do it in your own personal way.
As you do, you’ll implicitly give others permission to stand
on their own, and lead their own loved ones down the shin-
ing path you’ve shown.
Type Angst – ENFJ Faramir Dilemma

Everyone has good days and bad days; every type enjoys
successes and suffers through failures. Yet we each react to
those same successes and failures differently, depending on
our cognition. The things we value most, and the things we
focus on most, determine how we subconsciously interpret
everything that happens to us. While our Type Specializa-
tion reflects what we most desire out of life, every cognitive
type also has a Type Angst, a reaction to our deepest fears,
worries, and insecurities.

Of course, anyone can be afraid of anything. And anyone, of

any type, can suffer from any weakness. In fact, it’s much
easier to gain the unique weaknesses of other types than it is
to gain their unique strengths! When we attempt to adopt
the strengths of another type before mastering our own,
usually all we end up with is the weaknesses of both and the
strengths of neither. Yet each cognitive type has one deep-
est, most fundamental worry, resulting from their unique
order of cognition steps.

As an ENFJ Veteran, your central fear, beneath all others, is

that nothing you do ever really makes a difference for any-
body. That no matter how much you do, or how much you
care, all your supporting and teaching and helping ends up
having no real effect. Again, anyone can have this fear. But
for Veterans, this worry is at the root of them all.

With ENFJs’ weakest cognition step being Data via Thinking,

Veterans naturally fear that their understanding of details,
and the conclusions they draw from situations, are especially
lacking. Specifically, they worry that their conclusions lack
useful correctness (T) in an experiential way (S). You fear
that your understanding of the intricacies of situations is too
unreliable to be of any benefit to anyone. This unconscious
worry that your reading of situations is not ST enough re-
sults in the fear that you can’t seem to take everything into
account in the situations where people need you the most, so
you end up choosing the wrong actions and failing to be of
any real help. You try, but you fear that your attempts to
help will always end up ineffective.

This is almost certainly false, but that doesn’t make the fear
any less persistent.

Since these worries come from our cognition, we might not

even realize that not everyone has them, just as we some-
times forget that not everyone has our same Type Specializa-
tion. And since these fears come from our cognition, they’ve
been with each of us for as long as we’ve been thinking.
They can be overcome, entirely, but only by understanding
how they work. Yet when each of us is young, we inadvert-
ently react to every scare or disappointment through the
lens of our own type’s central fear. The things that leave the
deepest scars are the ones that hit us right in this most vul-
nerable place.

But since our minds therefore associate these fears with the
earliest experiences of childhood, we ironically tend to run
to these fears as if they were a place of safety. Childhood
usually feels warm, safe, and right in our minds, even if in
reality it was nothing of the sort. So when life gets hard,
when disappointment strikes, whenever we feel insecure,
overwhelmed, or uncomfortable at all, our minds naturally
and inadvertently rush back to these deeply ingrained child-
hood fears. The coping behaviors that result are our unique
Type Angsts.

As a Veteran, whenever you feel or experience anything

stressful or negative in any way, your mind tries to rush
back to the supposed safety of childhood. This causes a
surge of your central fear that no matter how hard you try or
how much you care, all your efforts will end up failing to
help anyone. As a result, you then feel the tempting pull to
indulge in the ENFJ Faramir Dilemma.
The Faramir Dilemma is the tendency to turn a blind eye to
cruelty, selfishness, or pettiness, in an attempt to keep eve-
ryone in your group happy. Since Veterans already fear that
nothing they do will have any beneficial effect anyway, they
feel that there’s no point in trying to stand up against people
they care about even when they know they’re in the wrong.
They may have even tried, many times, to defend people
who were being hurt, but felt that it didn’t really solve the
problem. So rather than add to discord by standing up for
people who need it, Veterans can be tempted to pretend that
nothing’s wrong in their group, that bullying and spite aren’t
actually happening, and that everyone will get along just fine
if the Veteran keeps pretending everything’s okay.

What almost always ends up happening, however, is that the

Veteran does take a side, and it’s typically the wrong side. In
their desperation to remain neutral, they find themselves
appeasing the more aggressive people in their lives. When
the people they love have disagreements that turn into con-
flict, a Veteran might inadvertently endorse mean behaviors
by not doing anything to acknowledge them. It’s easy to
blame victims by saying that they must have done something
to deserve what they’re getting, but the truth is that bullying
happens, passive-aggressive needling happens, and people
lie and badmouth others who genuinely did very little, if any-
thing, to deserve it. Insecurity leads people to be resentful
and outright mean to others who make them feel uncom-
fortable.

Yet when a Veteran insists on ignoring such aggressive atti-

tudes, they plant themselves on the side of the bullies. They
may even become uncomfortable when someone they love
shines too brightly, and try to pull them down to the level of
others who are insecure, for fear that the insecure parties
might become resentful otherwise. And if a target of bully-
ing or abuse makes any protest, the ENFJ may react by turn-
ing against them, as if the victim caused the problem by
mentioning it. The Faramir Dilemma causes Veterans to
sabotage their own treasured specialization, tearing apart
their group by endorsing or even causing pain to those they
love in an effort to keep everyone on the same level.
Particularly unhealthy ENFJs expend tireless effort seeking
out ways to insult and nitpick at anyone who seems happier,
smarter, more skilled, or better off than someone else the
ENFJ cares about. It never helps the ENFJ feel any better
about themselves or their friends for more than a moment,
and then they feel only less able to help their group after
they come down from the high of tearing others down. An
unhealthy ENFJ’s entire reason for being becomes tearing
apart relationships by making sure that no one is ever too
happy, successful, or special, in direct opposition to their
Type Specialization. This ultimate contradiction, desperate-
ly fighting against one’s own deepest, most treasured desire,
is miserable to say the least.

Yet even healthy Veterans tend to indulge in the Faramir Di-

lemma when things get hard. As a natural and unintentional
way of trying to keep their group happy, a Veteran may sub-
tly insult loved ones who succeed too much, or allow aggres-
sion against friends who shine too brightly. These uninten-
tional slips into ENFJ’s Type Angst are nothing to beat your-
self up about; after all, they’re unintentional. It can tear you
in two when you see some members of your group resenting
others, so it makes sense for you to just want everyone to
play nice. But unless you are willing to stand up and show
your quality, your fear will come true, and you will choose to
have very little beneficial effects in the lives of those who
need you the most.

All types can be tempted to declare that they or their loved

ones are already everything they’d like to be, even if it
means ignoring glaring truths or putting others down. Our
Type Angsts tempt us to feel entitled, like we deserve to al-
ready be at our goal, rather than being willing to learn and
grow patiently, gaining successes for real. This sense of enti-
tlement is a harmful twisting of the good desire to be special.
In reality, everyone can be equally special in ways that are
different from one another, allowing all to be unique in
unique, diverse ways.
As you surround yourself with the loving support of people
who care, as you seek out others who try to understand you
and accept you, you can grow less and less vulnerable to the
self-sabotage of the Faramir Dilemma. Look to your Type
Specialization, be a Veteran with a vengeance, and your mind
will retreat less and less into the fears and scars that result
in your Type Angst. And even when no one else is around,
perhaps the best, most effective, and most fulfilling way to
gradually eliminate your Type Angst for good, is to get in
touch with your Paradoxitype.
ENFJ Paradoxitype – INTP Alchemist

Each cognitive type enjoys a special relationship with every

other. Types with opposite letters can form a special, excit-
ing bond with each other, while types with opposite first and
last letters have a unique sense of camaraderie and close-
ness. Each relationship between the many types has special
qualities and advantages, but maybe the most important of
all these is Paradoxitype.

Your Paradoxitype is the secret person you are deep down.

It is not your “true self,” but rather the hidden, private side
of yourself that others may rarely get to see. It can shine out
when you’re feeling especially exuberant or comfortable
among close friends, who get to see this hidden you that oth-
ers might never know. On the flip side, in times of great dis-
tress you may be unable to keep it in, leaving it to burst out
of you haphazardly. Yet the more you get in touch with and
cultivate your Paradoxitype, the more easily and naturally
you’ll end up mastering the strengths of your own type,
while avoiding its weaknesses.

Cognitively, Paradoxitypes differ in all their letters except N

or S. So for you as an ENFJ Veteran, your secret, inner Para-
doxitype is the INTP Alchemist! This may seem, well, para-
doxical to stereotypical ENFJ attitudes, but that’s exactly
what makes it so special. It’s this sort of complexity that
makes healthy people POP! It’s this adorable paradox within
you that can always surprise people just when they think
they’ve got you figured.

Learn to let loose your inner Alchemist. Zoom in and take

joy in the details of what you do, and consider new little
ways to make everything work better! Let yourself get ex-
cited by the thrill of discovery, of asking new questions even
when you have no clue about the answer. And in whatever
you love to do, geek out about it! Explore how to get fasci-
nating new uses out of every moment, every situation, and
every little detail in life. The more you let your inner Alche-
mist come out in all you do, the more you’ll naturally stand
tall as a mighty Veteran in unprecedented strength, complex-
ity, compassion, and genuine happiness.

Obviously, understanding your own cognition is a marvelous

tool. We each approach life according to the particular
Scope and Objective of our unique Type Specialization, so it’s
immeasurably empowering to know how that works. The
more we understand what our mind is already trying to do,
the better we can gain what we’ve always been after, the
more we can avoid the pitfalls that have always nagged us,
and the more fully ourselves we can always be.

In this culture where some make flippant declarations about

“human nature” being unavoidably corrupt, jealous, or self-
destructive, it’s powerful to understand how our minds real-
ly work. We don’t have to feel at the mercy of Type Angsts
or other weaknesses, when we know where they come from
and how to heal them. We don’t have to repeatedly feel like
the person we see in the mirror isn’t quite up to the caliber
of the person we’d like to be in our secret hearts. We don’t
have to constantly struggle for elusive fulfillment, success,
and lasting joy, when we learn how to get out of our own
way in pursuit of what we’ve always really wanted all along.

We can each be a unique, one-of-a-kind version of our own

cognition’s Type Hero. These days, most people roll their
eyes at the idea of real heroism. It’s just not realistic, not
practical. We’re so often trapped in occupying ourselves
with the gray repetition of maintaining the things we care
about, and so optimism bows the knee to routine. Hope
struggles against the harsh verdicts of experience.

But when your car won’t start, you can throw up your hands
in surrender and accept that maybe it was never meant to
run in the first place, or you can learn how it works and find
out how to fix the problem. When life doesn’t match up with
what we really feel it can and should be, we can declare that
it was never meant to be that great anyway, or we can learn
how it works and find out how to fix the problems. You are
far more complex than any car, yet maybe the simplistic, ea-
ger dreams of childhood weren’t so far off. Maybe as you
learn to tune your own cognitive engine, you can slowly
grow to attain everything your deepest desires have always
reached for.
You can be a hero, and this world certainly needs heroes.
But what does a real-life hero look like? Real heroes are
usually not flashy, not famous, and certainly heroes aren’t
afraid to work tirelessly to do what needs to be done while
receiving little or no recognition. It’s quite common in fact
for heroes to be resented for enduring hardship and sacrifice
in order to lift others. Heroes are willing to go through
whatever is necessary in order to help those who need it,
and as they let themselves go through pain, humiliation, and
hopelessness, they gradually grow to shine as larger-than-
life, apparently superhuman figures in the real world who
inspire others to reach for their own heroic possibilities.

Now, there are plenty of people who work very hard to excel
at physical or mental pursuits, yet who are rather self-
serving. That’s not heroic. Heroism is not about having su-
perhuman abilities; it’s about learning how to do superhu-
man good with the abilities you have.

You do not need to wait to have greater abilities than you al-
ready have in order to be heroic. Heroes are those who use
their own abilities to selflessly help others, in whatever ways
they can. As we start with the desire to help, using the abili-
ties we have, then our abilities naturally increase. As we
humbly help in little ways, we grow more prepared and able
to see how the world needs our unique, personal strengths
in larger ways.

Stand tall as you, as the Veteran you are, with your own
style, your own experiences and insights and particular
skills. Just be you, and learn how to get out of your own way.
You can be a hero. You can be a lasting source of wisdom,
joy, and comfort to all who come to look to you as a caring
and patient mentor. The more you grow into the full meas-
ure of the ENFJ Veteran you’ve already always been, the
more successful, fulfilling, and irrevocably happy you can
become, because it will just be who you are.

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