The Pastor’s Advocate Series is

The
intended to assist congregations in better

Pastoral
Restoration
understanding the needs of their pastors
Pa s t o r ’ s
and pastoral families, in better caring
:
for the personal welfare and professional

well-being of these leaders, and in better

A dvo cat e The Path to Recovery
teaming with them to maximize their

united ministries for Christ.

Series™

Ministering to the
Focus on the Family, Colorado Springs, CO 80995 • family.org
Needs of Your Minister
© 2000-2007 Focus on the Family / Rev. 4/07 / F00827T
 Pastoral
Restoration
The Path to Recovery
:
by Chris Fabry
Foreward by H.B. London Jr.

K Research by John Barner, Roger Charman, Ralph Kelly, Alex Person and George Stahnke

Series edited by Dan Davidson

Pastoral Restoration: The Path to Recovery
Table of Contents

Foreward........................................................................................1

Introduction...................................................................................2

What to Do First.............................................................................3

Restoration of the Pastor...............................................................6

Restoration of the Church...........................................................10

Root Causes and Prevention.......................................................12

Conclusion...................................................................................14

Relevant Resources......................................................................15
Foreward could just be carelessness. Whatever it is, it is sin and it must be addressed.
What we have found most often is that moral or ethical failure can be
In November 2006, I was sitting in my room at the Mount Hermon categorized in three phrases:
Conference Center in Northern California. The phone rang, and it was an
attorney who was representing New Life Church in Colorado Springs. He 1. A lack of accountability and too much power.
introduced himself and then proceeded to ask me if I would serve on the 2. Unresolved conflict at home.
restoration committee for fallen pastor, Ted Haggard. I was shocked by the 3. Limited time spent alone with God.
invitation, but honored to be included with such highly respected men as
Pastor Tommy Barnett and Pastor Jack Hayford. I, in no way, mean to simplify a complicated issue, but the truth is that
failure to address any one of the three challenges I have mentioned can lead
I asked the attorney for some time to think and pray about the assignment. to great sorrow and ministerial failure.
I met with Focus on the Family President Jim Daly and our founder, James
Dobson. They agreed it would be a challenging opportunity, but urged me to Most of you who read this booklet will either be Christian leaders or
join the team of restorers. Time alone will tell if we have been successful in officials in the local church. Please read our words carefully. They are not
our efforts to return a man and his family to emotional and spiritual stability. comprehensive or completely definitive, but they will prove helpful and
seasoned, due to long hours of dealing with men and women who have failed
The request to aid the Haggard family was unique due to the high profile both God and one another.
media coverage it had received, but it was not unique to our team in This will be true even though our
Pastoral Ministries, which deals with these kinds of issues nearly every day. suggestions will not apply to every
It is because of our calling to support clergy members and their families situation—due to the differences in
worldwide, and out of love for the local church, that this publication of church structure, bylaws and personalities.
“Pastoral Restoration: The Path to Recovery” is made available to you. “Pastoral Restoration: The Path to Recovery”
is also intended as an alert to both the
It seems today that the church and its leaders are experiencing a genuine clergy and church leader to be vigilant and
and increasing attack by Satan. It is difficult to know why this could be pro-active when it comes to any indication
happening. It might be due to stress or burnout in the lives of clergy, or it or revelation of an indiscretion. Remember,
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it is not just about one family or one church. When one of our leaders falls, Ralph Kelly and George Stahnke—for their input and research into this
it sends shockwaves throughout the Body of Christ, and all of us pay a very piece; and to Chris Fabry, our expert writer and friend, for putting all of the
high price. words in the right places; and to you, who like watchmen on the wall, stand
guard against the enemy’s attack on the church and those who lead her.
On our own, it is unlikely that any of us will be able to withstand the
onslaught of the enemy, but there are precautions we can take. For instance, H.B. London Jr.
we can, each day, put on the whole armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18). James Vice President
reminds us to resist the devil and he will flee from you. Come near to God Pastoral Ministries
and He will come near to you (James 4:7). Focus on the Family

Howard Hendricks once said, “Satan will lie in the weeds for forty years to
Introduction
entrap one of God’s servants.” He is patient, he will wait and he will watch for
This booklet’s purpose is to help church leaders deal with the trauma of a
just the right moment—a moment that will do the greatest damage to the
pastor’s spiritual or moral failure. A resource of this size is not an in-depth
Kingdom of God. manual, but we at Focus on the Family® believe it can help point toward a
process of restoration for the leader.
As I talk to clergy around the world, I remind them that our greatest defense
is intimacy with God and right relationships at home, at church and with The experience of failure in a leader’s life, whether it is sexual, ethical,
colleagues. A busy pastor must get adequate rest and encourage honest financial or some other type, not only affects the fallen leader, but the
accountability from one or more of his fellow pastors. Ministry must be family and everyone in that person’s sphere of influence. Like a tsunami
meaningful and filled with joy and thanksgiving. Every servant of God must crashing onto the shore, the waves of hurt, shame and disbelief pummel the
have a vigilant spirit. The Apostle Paul writes, “Stand firm. Let nothing move unsuspecting and can lead to lifelong devastation.
you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord” (1 Corinthians
15:58, NIV). However, we believe God is the healer of broken lives. He delights in restoring
those seemingly damaged beyond repair. Isaiah 61:1, 3 captures the essence
I would like to acknowledge and express appreciation to our Pastoral of this, and it’s the same passage that Jesus quotes about Himself in Luke
Ministries team—Dan Davidson, Roger Charman, John Barner, Alex Person, chapter 4:
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 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has
anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to In order to handle such a spiritual
bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and crisis, it’s helpful to have a response
release from darkness for the prisoners . . . and provide for those team in place. You cannot afford to
who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead simply turn away and hope things
of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment will “blow over.” Depending on
of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of how your church constitution is set
righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. up, the church board (or governing
David and other Old Testament saints experienced God’s compassion and body) should choose several trusted
grace. Indeed, “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and members to prayerfully come together,
abounding in lovingkindness” (Exodus 34:6, NASB). This is His nature. His submitting to God and to each other.
compassion, grace, mercy and love will guide and comfort you during this It will be helpful to have one or more members of the team who have the
painful season. He will ultimately bring healing and renewal. He can use the spiritual gift of discernment.
event of a leader’s fall to strengthen and nurture the body of Christ.
The Issue of Discovery
Above all, as you go through this process, know that there is hope. Though As a team, identify the problem. Did the leader confess to some indiscretion or
the valley you walk through may feel very dark and lonely, trust in God and was he accused? No matter what the charge, take it seriously and investigate
lean on His understanding. Our prayer is that this booklet will help you exactly what happened. Go over the time frame—does the accusation seem
accomplish the task of restoration. plausible? Interview each person individually and pray for God’s guidance.
No matter how much you may trust an individual’s reputation, strive to
discover the truth.
What to Do First
If the charge seems true, notify the leadership of the denomination or ruling
At first, it’s just a rumor. People act aloof or whisper in small groups. Details body. Prompt notification is vital to keep the communication lines open in
are sketchy and the first response is to dismiss and deny the news. “Not him/
all aspects of this process.
her!” you think. Or, perhaps the news falls like an avalanche, covering you
and your congregation via the news media.
3
Keep a written record of all discussions, decisions and actions taken by the 6. Develop a communication plan. A point person should be
team. This will help greatly if the matter escalates into a lawsuit. A written selected who will communicate with the congregation, the
record protects the church and provides a framework of details for those media, the authorities and the lawyers. Agree upon what
seeking answers. communication will be offered.
7. Investigate further. It is not the church’s duty to investigate
Depending on the nature of the failure, you may need to contact the police the guilt or innocence of the accused. Criminal investigation
or other authorities. In one story detailed in an article by Mike Woodruff and should be left to the authorities. However, the church must
Dennis Kasper1, a youth minister approached the church leadership and determine if there are any other victims.
confessed to using alcohol and drugs with teens in his care. Later, the teens 8. Make counseling available. Prepare to supply counseling to
accused the youth minister of molestation. The church responded swiftly. any and all who may need it.2
From their crisis experience come these eight recommended steps:
After the team’s initial interviews, the truth should become clearer. Depending
1. Immediately seek legal counsel. Consult someone who on the denominational association and rules of order, it may be helpful to
specializes in crisis management. Discuss issues of how to put the pastor or leader on administrative leave. This may be a paid leave,
protect the work of the team under the attorney/client privilege. depending on the situation.
2. Determine if a criminal report is required. Many states
require the reporting of incidents involving minors. Failure to If the team cannot discern the truth or a division springs up, seek outside
do so may lead to a lawsuit. help. You are not abandoning your duties by asking for assistance. Turn to
3. Advise the accused to seek an attorney. If the allegation is denominational leaders for a referral or to another church body that has
criminal in nature, the church cannot offer the accused legal gone through a similar experience.
counsel.
4. Contact the church’s insurance company. In order to ensure The Issue of Proper Communication
coverage, notify your insurer as soon as possible. It’s important to determine as early as possible what to share with the
5. Assign liaisons. A representative from the group should provide congregation. Remember, the possibility of a lawsuit looms, so the assistance
pastoral support for the victim and victim’s family. A separate of legal counsel will help you decide when and what you may share. This
person should provide the same support for the accused. may take the form of a special meeting with members. A letter keeps
4
communication lines open, letting members know appropriate information.
It cannot be stressed strongly enough that this communication be as
honest and open as possible, without jeopardizing legal principles. There
exists a strong potential for gossip, rumors and even a church split if this
communication is not handled well.

Also, consider pulpit supply. Who will care for the congregation during
this difficult time? Another pastor on staff may feel inadequate to carry
the assignment. If so, an outside pastor should be sought. If, however, an
associate pastor feels confident and the team agrees, the congregation may
feel more at ease with a familiar face than a stranger. The goal of this
process is how to best communicate with and care for the congregation.

The Issue of Family Care

Of paramount importance is nurture for the leader’s spouse and children.
Many times, the situation is so painful that these dear ones suffer silently,
unnoticed and abandoned, not only by their family member, but the church
body. Take special precaution that the spouse and children feel loved. Provide
counseling and other care, if needed.

For smaller congregations, many of these recommendations will seem

daunting. Hiring lawyers, counselors and conducting investigations can Network with other pastors and churches for a referral that fits your needs.
become costly. There may be a lawyer or counselor in your church or a
nearby congregation who would be willing to assist in this process for Relevant Scriptures:
a reduced fee. You might even call our Pastoral Care Line at Focus on “He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and
the Family for more information. The toll-free number is 877-233-4455. renounces them finds mercy” (Proverbs 28:13, NIV).
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 “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore sign that the leader is not ready for the restoration process to begin.
him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each
other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” In the online resource, The Healing of a Warrior by Michael L. and Sharon P.
(Galatians 6:1-2, NIV). Hill, the authors suggest a step-by-step process of identifying real repentance.
If these are not present, there may be little hope for restoration:
Restoration of the Pastor 1. Confession. Sincere regret and an acknowledgment of the
magnitude of the sin and why it was wrong.
Few aspects of church ministry are as difficult as the topic of pastoral
2. Change of attitude and behavior. A shift from blaming others to
restoration. Who can be restored? To what position may they be restored?
a willingness to bear the blame.
While these questions are important, it is vital to recognize that restoring the
3. Following a plan. A willingness to follow a written contract
leader to the original leadership position is not the team’s primary concern.
detailing steps for restoration.
Directing the leader to fellowship with God, care for the spouse and family,
4. Accountability. A willingness to meet with one biblically grounded
and healing those who have been wronged are the most important tasks. If,
mature believer each week who will prepare a report of the leader’s
on rare occasions and after careful examination, it is possible for the leader
progress. It will be important to have access to all e-mail and
to be restored to the pulpit or original position, may God be praised. However,
Internet accounts.3
if that does not happen, it does not mean the team’s efforts have failed.

If, after thorough examination, the accusation against the pastor is found If the above conditions are met, restoration is possible. If there is a sense of
to be true, the leader should be confronted. (This may be by the “team” or brokenness before God and a willingness to have His will in the situation
a church board, depending on the governing structure.) There must be, on rather than a grasping for “everything to be like it was,” this is a good sign.
the part of the leader, a genuine show of repentance and remorse—and not However, if the leader balks at such a process and does not see the need of
simply as a result of being caught (see 2 Corinthians 7:10). It’s a good sign further discipline, restoration may be impossible.
if a leader acknowledges the sin and voluntarily submits to the authority of
the governing body, willing to take any and all steps, and assenting that the
congregation’s health is the highest priority. If, however, the leader waffles,
chooses the role of “victim” and does not take responsibility, this is a warning
6
 Targeted Progressive Restoration
The purpose of this chart is to diagram a prioritized biblical progression of restoration. Misplaced priorities in
the process invite disaster. Too many times the focus is “how quick can I get back into ministry?” rather than
“how do I renew my relationship with God, family, congregation and community?”

Impatience is the enemy of restoration. It takes time to restore those who have fallen. It takes time to prove
the authenticity of repentance (Matthew 3:8, Acts 26:20). It takes time to rebuild broken relationships. It takes
time to regain a lost reputation.

You can’t rebuild in a day what years of neglect have produced (Nehemiah 4:10).

1. Authentic & intimate relationship with God

Intimate & trusting relationship with family 2.

3. Fellowship with no ministry responsiblities

Good reputation within the community 4.

5. Possibility of ministry

Copyright © George Stahnke 2006

A Biblical Progression of Restoration 4

7
Early on in the restoration process, it is a good idea for the church to provide immutable standards for church leadership. 1 Timothy 3:2-7 and Titus 1:6-9
the fallen leader with professional counseling and/or an evaluation by a provide a framework for choosing leaders. These qualifications must be
professional Christian counselor. Such a psychologist will help sort out, from evident in all overseers.
an objective viewpoint, what has led to the failure and what steps may need
to be taken for personal wholeness. This can be an invaluable resource for “An overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one
the healing process. wife, temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not
addicted to wine or pugnacious, but gentle, peaceable, free from the
In many cases, there will be pressure from the congregation to restore the love of money. He must be one who manages his own household
leader fully and quickly. They will point to the leader’s “anointing” or the well, keeping his children under control with all dignity (but if a
numbers of people who have grown under the pastor’s leadership. They may man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he
push the committee by asking questions about how many days or weeks it take care of the church of God?), and not a new convert, so that he
will be before the leader returns. It must be communicated up front by the will not become conceited and fall into the condemnation incurred
leadership that the process will not be hurried, will remain open-ended and by the devil. And he must have a good reputation with those outside
that full restoration to the original position will be rare. the church, so that he will not fall into reproach and the snare of the
devil.” (1 Timothy 3:2-7, NASB)
On the opposite extreme are those who will want the fallen leader to be “cut
off.” They will seek immediate termination—no severance, no counseling “An elder must be blameless, the husband of but one wife, a man
and no recourse for restoration. Again, with the proper help, time can heal whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild
these deep wounds inflicted in the church body. and disobedient. Since an overseer is entrusted with God’s work, he
must be blameless—not overbearing, not quick-tempered, not given
Both of these extremes are based on emotion and a lack of a biblical to drunkenness, not violent, not pursuing dishonest gain. Rather he
understanding. Moral failure by church leadership on any level must be dealt must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled,
with in a scriptural manner if the ministry family and church body are to upright, holy and disciplined. He must hold firmly to the trustworthy
survive the trauma. message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by
sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it.” (Titus 1:6-9, NIV)
Before discussing proper discipline and restoration further, look at God’s
8
If a minister is to follow the guidelines God has given, these qualifications (disciplined), respectable lifestyle. He is no longer honorable, dignified
must be met. or decorous. He does not exhibit good deportment, has become forward,
boastful, arrogant, presumptuous or not well-behaved. (1 Timothy 3:2)
There are many pitfalls for a leader—embezzlement, spousal abuse and He is not temperate (Greek: self-controlled). This denotes keeping oneself
others. However, in a majority of cases of moral failure, sexual temptation in hand, disciplined, self-restrained, self-controlled over appetites and
seems to be the primary factor involved. affections. (Titus 1:8)
His behavior is not holy. He is no longer devout, pious, pleasing to God
If a leader has been sexually involved with anyone other than his or her and set apart for His service, as opposed to being worldly (carnal) and not
spouse, or has been frequently involved with pornography, he/she is biblically totally dedicated to God. (Titus 1:8)
disqualified to serve. Sexual sin is not an isolated issue by itself, but rather a He has been self-willed. Church leaders cannot be dominated by self-
cluster of character flaws culminating in corrupt sexual expression. He must interest, be self-pleasing, stubborn or arrogant. They must be submitted to
be removed for the following reasons: proper authority, seeking to please God and others, and not ‘set’ in their own
ways. (Titus 1:7)
He is guilty of infidelity. He has sinned against God, sinned against his He has not been sober in his thinking. That is, he hasn’t been sober-
spouse, broken faith/trust with his leadership team and with the minded, prudent, sensible, discreet, having a sound mind. He has been given
congregation who put their confidence in him. (Matthew 5:27-28, to fanciful thinking or emotional irrationality, not using sound judgment.
2 Peter 2:14, Hebrews 13:4) (1 Timothy 3:2, Titus 1:8) 5
He is no longer blameless (Greek: unrebukeable). There should be
nothing in his conduct on which someone could ground a charge or Here are some recommendations, if such a circumstance were to happen to
accusation—having unquestionable integrity, being irreproachable, not your congregation:
able to find fault with, or deserving of censure. (1 Timothy 3:2, Titus 1:6) • Begin immediate administrative leave, the length to be determined.
He no longer has a good reputation. There is no longer an excellent • Keep copious notes of all related meetings, testimony, counsel, etc.
testimony and reputation with the non-Christian community. A church • Seek legal counsel if infidelity involves another person. Offer
leader must be a respected person “on the job” as well as in the church. counseling to all persons involved—not just the ministry couple.
(1 Timothy 3:7) • Contact the legal department of your insurer, as a lawsuit could
He is not a man of good behavior. He does not have a modest, orderly ensue. They will explain the provisions of your policy and
9
 hopefully give you good legal counsel. This must be done with much counsel and care. The marriage
• Begin intensive counseling for at least a week or two. Don’t just relationship has been seriously damaged. Healing and rebuilding
send the offending leader. Insist that both husband and wife go trust will take time and must be proven to be valid (Acts 20:20,
together for counseling. Referrals are available upon request from Matthew 3:8, Ephesians 4:28). Many believe this process can take
the Counseling (719-531-3400) and Pastoral Ministries (877-233- a minimum of 6 to 18 months to rebuild. Under no circumstances
4455) departments of Focus on the Family. should the man be placed back into any position of leadership
• Prepare a written statement of the situation to be read to the until this has taken place, and even then it should be rare. The
congregation. This will keep you on track with what needs to be marriage and the individual pastor are the primary concerns, not
communicated initially and help you avoid inappropriate details. his ministry!
Do not simply “shoot from the hip” or “let the Spirit move.” Your • Determine a severance package and follow through with the
words are important and deserve detailed attention. restoration plan where possible.
• Begin the process of finding a new leader to fill the void.6

Agreement in the leadership team is absolutely critical. Any division will

further weaken the team’s ability to function and care for the congregation.
“Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” (Amos 3:3, NIV). “If
a house is divided (split into factions and rebelling) against itself, that house
will not be able to last” (Mark 3:25, AMP). If the team is not united in its
understanding and approach to the crisis, another team skilled in conflict
resolution may need to be brought in.

Restoration of the Church

• Formulate a restoration plan whereby the leader is restored God has chosen to use fallible human beings to build His kingdom. That
to Christ, spouse, church body—and, only rarely, to ministry. they fall grieves Him, but does not take Him by surprise. Because He is all-
powerful, He can take a devastating situation in a congregation and turn
10
it into a glory to His name.7 Take heart in the Lord and in the power of His healing. However, they must understand that restoration to the pulpit after
might. It may take time, but God can not only lead you through difficult times, a moral failure should happen on very rare occasions, and only after much
He can pull His people much closer to Himself through those deep waters. prayer and firm assurance that the fallen pastor has truly found healing and
forgiveness from God.
Continue the difficult work you’ve already begun through the process of
restoration with the leader by communicating well with the congregation. In the book, Restoring the Fallen, the authors point out that there are three
Your point person for the restoration team should provide the body with general responses to a fallen leader: “Cheap grace” that is quick and non-
discreet updates about the process. The church staff can also model the grief confronting; a legalistic approach that banishes the offending leader; or (most
and recovery development through their own counseling and working through frequent) simply ignoring the problem. But a fourth alternative exisits that is
the problems themselves. comprehensive and involves accountability, commitment to all members of
the body and, often, a public disclosure. “In studying Scripture, we notice that
Helpful ideas include: teaching on discipline and restoration is always tied to a local fellowship and
• Grief counseling—for staff members, as well as the congregation. not simply to a group of well-intentioned friends.”9
• Congregational meetings for the purpose of communication and
healing. This same resource lists eight traits of a restoring church. A restoring
• Small group meetings to help work through issues. church is:
• Sunday school classes on recovery and restoration. 1. A safe place for people to be real. Too many times, church is a
• Getting outside help from a team of individuals committed to the place to hide our faults and failures. We need to foster a climate of
health of the body. openness and honesty about our weaknesses and sins.
2. A place where godly judgment is administered. The church
Congregations can add to the pressure and discouragement of a pastor when should be sensitive to sin and committed to dealing with it. A
they bring up unhealthy or unrealistic expectations. The restoration team church that looks the other way and does not confront sin is not a
can help, not in blaming a congregation, but by tenderly preparing the restoring church. The goal is not to blast sinners, but to gently draw
congregation for the typical permanent removal of the fallen leader or for the them into fellowship and forgiveness.
rare re-entry to ministry. Just as we are told in Scripture to “restore him gently,” 3. A place where grace is extended. Jesus extended grace to the
speaking of a church leader,8 so the congregation must be led into a gentle woman caught in adultery, but did not ignore her sin (John 8:11).
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 The church should be a model of this type of love–where we are uncomfortable at first. Realize it is extremely important for the
committed not only to justice, but to mercy as well. church to stand with them in support during this traumatic time.
4. A place for discipline. A restoring church is not afraid to enter
into loving but firm church discipline. And, where there is no Root Causes and Prevention
repentance, the church is instructed to extend discipline.
5. A place for accountability. Having someone committed enough Many leaders ask, “Rather than waiting for a pastor to fall, what can we do
to ask hard questions—such as, “Have you read, seen or listened now to prevent such failure?” Prevention is always preferable to waiting for a
to anything this last week that was sexually inappropriate?”—can problem to arise. Here are a few ideas along those lines.
have a freeing effect. It helps us understand we are not alone on
this journey.
Keeping Our Priorities: First Things First
6. A place where truth-telling is practiced. Ephesians 4:25 says, “The question is not whether we fail again and again—that is a given; the
“Each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his question is whether, over a period of time, we are developing a practiced habit
neighbor, for we are all members of one body.” Telling the truth of divine fellowship.”10
silences rumors. It also helps us open our lives to each other and
helps us curtail sinful patterns that destroy. When a life is driven by the responsibilities, desires and expectations of others,
7. A place where the restoree is validated for return to leaders can get lost in the time demands and complexities of ministry. Leaders
ministry. Restoration to full ministry should be rare and may must establish and hold to biblical priorities and goals.
require an advocate who has walked through the process to speak
on behalf of the leader’s complete healing. Just as Barnabas Our first responsibility is to love the Lord with all of our heart, soul and
spoke about Paul and assured believers he had met Jesus and had mind.11 “Intimacy with Christ is the essential element and necessary for useful
changed, so a church body can speak of the change brought about ministry.”12 To build intimacy with the Lord requires that we spend time in His
in a restoree’s life. presence. The spiritual disciplines of prayer, worship, fasting, study, sharing
8. A place that is a haven for the fallen person’s family. Too often, our faith, etc., help each of us to maintain that cutting-edge first love.13
the spouse and children of the offender are treated as if the sin was Developing an intimate relationship with God and family includes rest.
their fault. Perhaps people don’t know what to say to them or feel Perpetual labor is not a sign of devotion or spirituality. Jesus rested and

12
encouraged His followers to do the same. Jesus said to them, “Come away by person to seek help immediately.
yourselves to a secluded place and rest a while” (Mark 6:31, NASB).14
Other root problems may include a lack of depth in the leader’s relationship
Encourage your pastor to: with Christ. A man is often able to compartmentalize his life and justify
• Take a day or two of rest to unplug each week. sin. If a leader does not cope well with stress, that inability will lead to some
• Spend quality time with his family each day. action detrimental to his spiritual or physical health.
• Date his spouse weekly.
• Get away with his spouse once per quarter for at least two days. There may be a marriage problem, a flawed concept of success, a poor
• Attend at least one seminar every six months for mental stimulation devotional life, a lack of personal discipline or the sin of pride and ego.
and spiritual renewal. Whatever the root cause, it is imperative that the pastoral care team or
• Build lasting memories with his family by prioritizing birthdays, someone appointed by the board intervene so that these destructive behaviors
anniversaries and other important family events. are identified and the leader can be helped before a crisis arises.
• Take a family vacation at least once per year.
Warning Signs of Impending Failure
Dealing With Temptation: Deal or No Deal • Pay attention to signs of burnout and stress.
“No matter how many pleasures Satan offers you, his ultimate intention is • Behavioral changes, such as a lack of Bible reading or prayer
to ruin you. Your destruction is his highest priority.”15 Many leaders live can be outward signs of inner turmoil.
like a TV game show—how much risk can I take and still win the prize? • Note personality changes, such as mood swings, lethargy and anger.
Encourage your pastor to heed God’s instructions to “keep alert and pray, • Watch for sermons becoming less about the Bible and more about the
otherwise temptation will overpower us.”16 pastor.
• Be aware of rude behavior, sarcasm and defensiveness.
Recognizing Root Causes for Failure • Consider unusual absences or unavailability.
The root causes of moral and spiritual failure are many. It may stem from • Be cautious of an inability to stay within a budget—e.g., spending sprees.
the leader’s family of origin. There may have been abuse in the leader’s • Do not tolerate inappropriate touching of the opposite sex.
background. Whatever the reason, it is no excuse to keep on sinning. • Warn against closed-door, one-on-one counseling sessions with the
That’s why it’s so important for the leader and the people who love that opposite sex.
13
 What the Church Can Do will give you some sense of direction in how to handle it, some steps and
At all times, the church board or those in pastoral oversight should, in love, guidelines to follow and, most of all, some hope for that leader you love and
hold the pastor accountable concerning his schedule, his budget and his his family. God is a God of miracles, forgiveness and healing. He will be there
personal purity. Have checks and balances in place so that the pastor doesn’t for your congregation and for your beloved, but fallible pastoral family. Be
have sole authority concerning budget, schedule or church decisions where a patient; lean on Him in every way, and not on your own understanding. 17
problem might arise.
May God bless and protect you, your co-leaders, your pastoral staff and their
A crisis response team should be in place, along with written procedures to families as you make decisions that will in time have eternal ramifications.
follow. The board should appoint a pastoral care team to monitor (for too
many or too few) vacations, days off, health issues of the entire family, travel, Once again, if we who serve the church and its leaders through the Pastoral
conferences and retreats, and time away from home. It is also helpful to have Ministries division of Focus on the Family can assist you, please feel free to
a system in place where members can report anything that seems amiss to contact us toll-free at 877-233-4455, by e-mail at [email protected] or
those overseers. through our web site, the Parsonage, at parsonage.org

___________________________________________________
Conclusion
Footnotes
We pray that your congregation will never be forced to go through a pastoral 1. Adapted from “Confronted With the Shameful” by Mike Woodruff
restoration process. It is never easy and it always leaves scars. For this reason and Dennis Kasper, BuildingChurchLeaders.com, ©Christianity
alone, it is worth every effort by your church to be vigilant and preventative in Today Intl.
its long-term care of your pastor(s) and their families. It is also worthwhile 2. Ibid.
because you just may save one of God’s called leaders from shame, failure and
3. Adapted from The Healing of a Warrior, a Cyberbook publication,
disqualification for ministry, a situation that always gives the enemy a source
©2000 by Michael L. and Sharon P. Hill of The Dove Center,
for discrediting God’s church in the eyes of a secular society.
thedovecenter.org
Unfortunately, statistics suggest that the day may come when you must face 4 ©George Stahnke, 2006
such a bitter moment. If and when that day comes, we hope this booklet
14
5 “Dealing with Church Leadership and Infidelity,” Relevant Resources
©George Stahnke, 2005
Books
6 Ibid.
Carder, Dave, with Jaenicke, Duncan. Torn Asunder: Recovering From
7 Romans 8:28 Extramarital Affairs. Moody Press, 1995.
8 Galatians 6:1
Cloud, Henry, and Townsend, John. Boundaries: When to Say YES, When to Say
9 Adapted from “Restoring the Fallen” by Earl & Sandy Wilson, Paul
NO, To Take Control of Your Life. Zondervan, 1992.
and Virginia Friesen, Larry and Nancy Paulson. ©1997 by Earl and
Sandy Wilson, Paul and Virginia Friesen, Larry and Nancy Paulson.
Used with permission of InterVarsity Press, PO Box 1400, Downers Hamman, Jaco. When Steeples Cry. Pilgrim Press, 2005.
Grove, IL 60515. ivpress.com
Hill, Michael L., and Sharon P. The Healing of a Warrior: A Protocol for the
10 Richard Foster Prevention and Restoration of Ministers Engaging in Destructive Behavior.
11 Matthew 22:37-38 Cyberbook, 2000.

12 The Shepherd’s Covenant for Pastors, H.B. London, Jr. and Neil B.
Job, Rueben P. A Guide to Retreat for All God’s Shepherds. Abingdon Press, 1994.
Wiseman, Regal, 2005
13 Revelation 2:2-4 London, H.B. Jr., and Wiseman, Neil B. Pastors at Greater Risk.
14 Mark 6:31-32 Regal Books, 2003.

15 Erwin W. Lutzer
London, H.B. Jr., and Wiseman, Neil B. The Heart of a Great Pastor. Regal Books,
16 Matthew 26:41 1994, 2006.
17 Proverbs 3:5 London, H.B. Jr., and Wiseman, Neil B. The Shepherd’s Covenant for Pastors.
Regal Books, 2005.

15
 MacDonald, Gordon. Rebuilding Your Broken World. Thomas Nelson, 1988. • “When a Leader Falls,” copyright 2004, Christianity Today
International.
Pedigo, Reverend Thomas. Restoration Manual: A Workbook for Restoring • Parsonage.org, the Internet home for ministers and their families
Fallen Ministers and Religious Leaders. [Online] Available from Winning Edge maintained by Focus on the Family’s Pastoral
Ministries. at win-edge.com/Restoration.shtml
Ministries department.
Sande, Ken. The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal • PureIntimacy.org. Help with Internet pornography.
Conflict. Baker Books, 2004. • Pastors.com, notable for Rick Warren’s Ministry Tool Box.
• Online Pastoral Care Directory, found on Parsonage.org.
Schaumburg, Harry W. False Intimacy: Understanding the Struggle of Sexual • “Ebbing the Flow of Moral, Marital or Ministry Burnout” by Jack &
Addiction. Navpress, 1997. Trisha Frost, Shiloh Place Ministries.
• “Public Perfection, Private Despair”by Lee Sparks, Rev!
Swenson, Richard, M.D. Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and
Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives. NavPress, 2004. Magazine. Jan/Feb 2007.
• Dr. David Whitaker, Care Clinic.
Swenson, Richard, M.D. The Overload Syndrome. Navpress, 1998. • “Reducing the Risk of Sexual Misconduct: A guide for pastors and
staff members who work with adults” by James Cobble, by Christian
Wilson, Friesen & Paulson. Restoring the Fallen. InterVarsity Press, 1997. Ministry Resources.
• “Assessment for Moral Purity”, a warning sign checklist,
Other Resources by George Stahnke.
• Dealing With Church Leadership and Infidelity, George Stahnke.
• Family.org/lifechanges. “Danger Signs of an Affair” and other • “Restoration” by Earl and Sandra Wilson in the Soul Care Bible.
articles.

16
Notes
 The Pastor’s Advocate Series is
The
intended to assist congregations in better

Pastoral
Restoration
understanding the needs of their pastors
Pa s t o r ’ s
and pastoral families, in better caring
:
for the personal welfare and professional

well-being of these leaders, and in better

A dvo cat e The Path to Recovery
teaming with them to maximize their

united ministries for Christ.

Series™

Ministering to the
Focus on the Family, Colorado Springs, CO 80995 • family.org
Needs of Your Minister
© 2000-2007 Focus on the Family / Rev. 4/07 / F00827T