It's Not Me It's You (Point Paperback Excerpt)

It’s
Not Me,
It’s
stephanie kate strohm

Point
The Beginning
AVERY DENNIS, me: I had an epiphany in the place one is

least likely to have an epiphany: American history class.
MS. SEGERSON, surprisingly stylish history teacher: To be

honest, Avery is not always completely engaged in class. She
takes copious notes, but they seem to be more of an excuse to
use an entire rainbow spectrum of pens than to actually record
the lecture. But there was something different about the day
we first discussed oral history.
AVERY: Oral history is basically talking. It’s like when you inter-
view people about events they witnessed, and then you learn
about the events from lots of different perspectives. See? I do
take copious notes.
MS. SEGERSON: The assignment was to interview several

adults about an event in American history that they had lived
through.
AVERY: But the assignment was the least important thing.

Especially because w
e’re seniors. It’s spring semester. Like, who
cares?
1
MS. SEGERSON: Oh, I cared very much about the assign-
ment. And Avery’s final GPA cared about the assignment. And
I bet the Admissions Committee at Pepperdine would care,
too, if I happened to give them a call.
AVERY: I cared very much about the assignment. Especially

when Ms. Segerson said that oral histories could help us under-
stand why certain events had happened. And that there’s no
time limit on history. Like, even if something just happened, it
can still be history. Especially if what had just happened was
an event of such horrible and epic proportions, it could barely
be spoken of aloud.
MS. SEGERSON: At least Avery was keeping things in per-

spective. Imagine if she’d overreacted.
Editor’s Note: Ms. Segerson hadn’t been this sarcastic in
September.—AD
AVERY: I had aged years in only a matter of days, and it was all
because of . . . the incident.
2
The Incident
NATALIE WAGNER, random freshman: Avery Dennis was the

closest t hing to a legend the senior class had.
BECCA HORN, random freshman: Avery Dennis was a known

clone. It was like she’d watched a bunch of ’90s high school
sitcoms and invented herself. The world did not need a third
Wakefield twin.
Editor’s Note: The Wakefields are fictional California teens from
a book series. Although this remark was clearly intended as a
burn, they seemed pretty awesome when I googled them.
Also, I was starting to understand what Ms. Segerson meant
about history being subjective. And the perils of unreliable
sources.
NATALIE, random but very wise freshman: Like, I’m not saying
that if Avery Dennis wore army pants and flip-flops, I’d wear
army pants and flip-flops, but everybody knows who Avery
Dennis is.
BECCA, random and very disgruntled freshman: Yeah, I know

who Avery Dennis is. Every body knows who every body is
because this stupid school only has like sixty kids in each grade.
3
NATALIE: Avery Dennis was definitely popular. And, like, why
is anybody popular, you know? Is that really something you
can even define? Like, what is popularity? Why are popular
people popular? Popularity is just like this ineffable thing.
You’re e ither popular or y ou’re not. And Avery Dennis defi-
nitely was.
BECCA: Sure, I guess you could say Avery Dennis had it. If
by it, you mean a lobotomy.
Editor’s Note: Unreliable sources.
NATALIE: She and her friends ate lunch every day in the best
spot outside. She went to, like, e very party that was actually a
good party. S
he’d broken some kind of state tennis record. Her
hair was like a golden veil.
BECCA: There is absolutely nothing remarkable whatsoever

about Avery Dennis.
NATALIE: But perhaps most crucially of all, Avery Dennis had

never been single. Ever. And I don’t mean just in this year that
I’d been in school with her. Every body knows that Avery
Dennis has always had a boyfriend. Even when she was, like, in
utero.
BECCA: Truly boring people are terrified of being alone. That

tells you everything you need to know about the dating history
of Avery Dennis.
4
NATALIE: She’d dated all the hottest guys at San Anselmo
Prep. And most of the hottest guys at Sir Francis Drake High.
And a certain TV star. And even, if you believe the rumors, a
minor-league soccer player and the heir to the throne of a small
European principality.
Editor’s Note: Sometimes rumors are just rumors.
NATALIE: It was almost surprising that she hadn’t dated Luke

Murphy before senior year, you know? They just went together
perfectly. Avery Dennis couldn’t have even built herself a bet-
ter boyfriend in a lab! I mean, if there was a lab where you
could, like, build boyfriends. Once they finally got together,
you would see them walking down the halls and be like, yes,
that is the golden couple.
BECCA: No, I wouldn’t have called Luke Murphy and Avery

Dennis the golden c ouple. Firstly, that’s not a phrase I would
use. Ever. And secondly, two people aren’t a golden couple
just
because they’re both blonds. Also, two blond p eople
shouldn’t date. It looks weird, like t hey’re g oing to start singing
“Tomorrow Belongs to Me.”
NATALIE: I think it was all part of a master plan. Like, she

idn’t want to date Luke Murphy too soon, because she had
d
known since kindergarten that he would be the perfect senior
prom date. Some people just have heads that were built to wear
a crown. Luke Murphy has a prom king head. Maybe it’s his
jawline?
5
BECCA: I didn’t even know that Luke Murphy and Avery
Dennis w ere dating until after she went crazy. Because I
have my own life. I cannot be bothered to keep up with
the unending carousel that is Avery Dennis’s Boyfriend of the
Month.
NATALIE: They had their differences, though. Luke was the

captain of the lacrosse team and the Student Council presi-
dent. Avery was the captain of the tennis team and head of the
Prom Committee. Very different.
BECCA: Luke Murphy could be president. Avery Dennis

could be the fascist dictator of a small country.
Editor’s Note: I could easily run a large country. Also, I’d be
benevolent.
NATALIE: Luke Murphy is arguably the most popular guy

at San Anselmo Prep. But he’s different than you’d expect,
because he’s just so nice. Like he does some charity t hing with
tutoring special-needs kids or helping old p
eople or something.
He’s really nice. Teachers love him. Students love him. Babies
and grandmas probably love him, too. Everybody loves Luke
Murphy.
BECCA: I r eally can’t think of anything bad to say about him.

eally, the man should be president. Especially a fter what he
R
did to Avery Dennis.
6
NATALIE: I still can’t believe that we were there when it
actually happened. Like, I was a witness to the Dumping of
Avery Dennis. Oh—this is the other t hing to know about Avery
Dennis. She’s never been single. But she’s also never been
dumped.
BECCA: Oh, I believe that Avery Dennis has never been

dumped. Probably b ecause she usually only dates other p
eople
with reptile-size brains.
NATALIE: I was sitting in the library with Becca, working on

my math homework.
BECCA: I was not sitting with Natalie Wagner. We were sitting

at the same table. We w
ere not sitting together. I just want to
make that clear.
NATALIE: Avery Dennis and I have the same free period. So

there I was, just casually minding my own business and doing
homework. Avery and Luke w ere sitting at the table next to
mine. I could hear her giggling and I think she was, like, kick-
ing him under the t able but in like a footsie way, not in like an
aggressive way.
BECCA: I w
asn’t paying attention to Avery Dennis and Luke
Murphy, because I am a normal person with homework of my
own to attend to. Also, Ms. Dickerson was trying to secretly eat
7
a sandwich at her desk, so I was staring at her. Just to make her
uncomfortable.
MS. DICKERSON, librarian: I most certainly was not eating a

sandwich at my desk. School policy expressly forbids food in
the library.
Editor’s Note: She was most definitely eating a sandwich. It
was totally obvious. At least when Ms. Segerson eats Chipotle
during class, she owns it. But she never shares.
NATALIE: And then he started whispering. Then she whis-

pered a little. Then he whispered a lot more. And then there was
some furious simultaneous whispering. And then Luke Murphy
whispered for a long, long time, and Avery Dennis was silent.
Well, she was s ilent for a while . . .
BECCA: Avery Dennis let out an unholy screech. Like the kind
of thing you would hear from a particularly vitriolic demon.
NATALIE: I looked over and she was standing. Her mouth was
hanging open like she was still screaming, but no sound came
out. The entire library was totally s ilent—everyone was staring
at her in shock. Even Ms. Dickerson d idn’t come over and yell
at her for screaming in the library.
BECCA: At this point, I was looking at them because, hello,

she had just screamed her tiny head off.
Editor’s Note: I have a very normal-size head.
8
NATALIE: Luke Murphy started to get up, and said, “Avery,
I am so, so, so,” but she didn’t even let him finish. She screamed
again and he sat down really fast and then she kicked her chair,
and her foot went right through it. Like right straight through
the back of the chair.
BECCA: Which was a really beautiful thing, b

ecause then she
started hopping around and screaming and she could not get
her foot out.
NATALIE: She was so lucky she was wearing pants; otherwise,

that chair totally would have stabbed her leg.
BECCA: Luke Murphy said, “Avery, let me help you,” then she
screamed, “DON’T YOU DARE!”
NATALIE: Luke kind of shrunk down in his seat and looked

really, really scared.
BECCA: Ms. Dickerson must have regained her composure,

ecause she whisper-yelled, “Avery Dennis, that is ENOUGH!”
b
And Avery finally stopped screaming. Ms. Dickerson extricated
Avery’s foot from the chair and escorted her out of the library.
MS. DICKERSON: Completely uncharacteristic behavior. Yes,

I have to shush Avery on an almost hourly basis, but she’s not
the type of student to be purposely disruptive. Or to destroy
school property.
9
NATALIE: As she was leaving, Avery wailed, “I can’t believe
this happened right before the prom!” It was so sad. I felt really
bad for her.
BECCA: It was one of the most amazing t hings I’d ever seen.
TRIPP GOMEZ-PARKER, lacrosse teammate of L. Murphy: I

told him not to do it. You don’t dump girls like Avery Dennis,
man. You just don’t do it. But Luke’s got this, like, wacko sense
of ethics or whatever. Said he couldn’t keep dating her if he
didn’t feel it. It wouldn’t be fair. Like he was lying to her or
something. Man, that kid is crazy. Like going to the prom with
a hot girl is such a moral dilemma. You think Coco Kim is my
soul mate? No. But she’s gonna look bangin’ in our prom
photos. Just suck it up and rent the tux like the rest of us.
NATALIE: I don’t even remember how I figured out exactly

what had happened. Everything happened so fast.
BECCA: It was obvious what had happened. Why? B

ecause I
understand context clues. 1. Luke Murphy whispered a bunch
of stuff. 2. Avery Dennis screamed like a deranged banshee
and had a complete meltdown. 3. Avery Dennis said something
about the prom.
NATALIE: Within minutes, it was all over the school. Every

one knew that Avery Dennis had been dumped. And only
10
days before the prom. I’m only a freshman—I wasn’t even
going to prom—and I was freaking out! Legit everyone was
freaking out. How could Avery Dennis have been dumped?
And how could Avery Dennis not have a prom date?! It didn’t
make sense. Nothing made sense anymore. It was like we’d
all just seen a zebra eat a lion. The world had lost its natural
order.
BECCA: Everyone knew. But I didn’t understand why every

one cared.
TRIPP: No, I wasn’t there when it happened. But I knew

it was gonna happen. So I w asn’t surprised when I heard
about it.
Editor’s Note: A little heads-up would have been nice, Tripp.
We were in the same discussion group in English third quar-
ter. DID THAT MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?!
NATALIE: The ramifications of this entire situation w

ere
immediately obvious. Avery Dennis no longer had a boyfriend.
So she no longer had a prom date. And every single upper-
classman already had a date to the prom. Well, except the
people who weren’t g oing to prom. But, like, who doesn’t go to
prom?
BECCA: Smart people d

on’t go to prom. Luke Murphy had
just done Avery Dennis a f avor.
11
NATALIE: San Anselmo Prep was just too small. There were
no prom dates left. What was Avery going to do, take a fresh-
man to prom? Please. The shame! She was literally out of
options. The head of the Prom Committee didn’t have a date
to prom. And that was irony.
12
Copyright © 2016 by Stephanie Kate Strohm
All rights reserved. Published by Point, an imprint of Scholastic Inc., Publishers

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No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or

transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying,
recording, or otherwise, without written permission of the publisher. For
information regarding permission, write to Scholastic Inc., Attention: Permis
sions Department, 557 Broadway, New York, NY 10012.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are
either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any
resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events,
or locales is entirely coincidental.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data available
ISBN 978-0-545-95258-3
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 16 17 18 19 20
Printed in the U.S.A. 23
First edition, November 2016

Book design by Ellen Duda

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It’s

stephanie kate strohm

AVERY DENNIS, me: I had an epiphany in the place one is

MS. SEGERSON, surprisingly stylish history teacher: To be

MS. SEGERSON: The assignment was to interview several

AVERY: But the assignment was the least impor­tant ­thing.

AVERY: I cared very much about the assignment. Especially

MS. SEGERSON: At least Avery was keeping ­things in per-

NATALIE WAGNER, random freshman: Avery Dennis was the

BECCA HORN, random freshman: Avery Dennis was a known

BECCA, random and very disgruntled freshman: Yeah, I know

BECCA: ­There is absolutely nothing remarkable whatsoever

NATALIE: But perhaps most crucially of all, Avery Dennis had

BECCA: Truly boring ­people are terrified of being alone. That

NATALIE: It was almost surprising that she ­hadn’t dated Luke

BECCA: No, I ­wouldn’t have called Luke Murphy and Avery

NATALIE: I think it was all part of a master plan. Like, she

NATALIE: They had their differences, though. Luke was the

BECCA: Luke Murphy could be president. Avery Dennis

NATALIE: Luke Murphy is arguably the most popu­lar guy

BECCA: I r­ eally ­can’t think of anything bad to say about him.

BECCA: Oh, I believe that Avery Dennis has never been

NATALIE: I was sitting in the library with Becca, working on

BECCA: I was not sitting with Natalie Wagner. We ­were sitting

NATALIE: Avery Dennis and I have the same ­free period. So

MS. DICKERSON, librarian: I most certainly was not eating a

NATALIE: And then he started whispering. Then she whis-

BECCA: At this point, I was looking at them ­because, hello,

BECCA: Which was a ­really beautiful ­thing, b

NATALIE: She was so lucky she was wearing pants; other­wise,

NATALIE: Luke kind of shrunk down in his seat and looked

BECCA: Ms. Dickerson must have regained her composure,

MS. DICKERSON: Completely uncharacteristic be­hav­ior. Yes,

TRIPP GOMEZ-­PARKER, lacrosse teammate of L. Murphy: I

NATALIE: I ­don’t even remember how I figured out exactly

BECCA: It was obvious what had happened. Why? B

NATALIE: Within minutes, it was all over the school. Every­

BECCA: Every­one knew. But I ­didn’t understand why every­

TRIPP: No, I ­wasn’t ­there when it happened. But I knew

NATALIE: The ramifications of this entire situation w

BECCA: Smart ­people d

All rights reserved. Published by Point, an imprint of Scholastic Inc., Publishers

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or

Library of Congress Cataloging-­in-­Publication Data available

First edition, November 2016

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AVERY: But the assignment was the least important thing.

MS. SEGERSON: At least Avery was keeping things in per-

BECCA: There is absolutely nothing remarkable whatsoever

BECCA: Truly boring people are terrified of being alone. That

NATALIE: It was almost surprising that she hadn’t dated Luke

BECCA: No, I wouldn’t have called Luke Murphy and Avery

NATALIE: Luke Murphy is arguably the most popular guy

BECCA: I r eally can’t think of anything bad to say about him.

BECCA: I was not sitting with Natalie Wagner. We were sitting

NATALIE: Avery Dennis and I have the same free period. So

BECCA: At this point, I was looking at them because, hello,

BECCA: Which was a really beautiful thing, b

NATALIE: She was so lucky she was wearing pants; otherwise,

MS. DICKERSON: Completely uncharacteristic behavior. Yes,

TRIPP GOMEZ-PARKER, lacrosse teammate of L. Murphy: I

NATALIE: I don’t even remember how I figured out exactly

NATALIE: Within minutes, it was all over the school. Every

BECCA: Everyone knew. But I didn’t understand why every

TRIPP: No, I wasn’t there when it happened. But I knew

BECCA: Smart people d

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data available