The Big Book of Sex Toys

THE
BG
B K
F EX
T YS
From Vibrators and Dildos to
Swings and Slings—Playful and
Kinky Bedside Accessories That
Make Your Sex Life Amazing
Tristan Taormino
The Big Book of Sex Toys
The
Big
Book
of Sex
ToyS
From Vibrators and Dildos to Swings
and Slings—Playful and Kinky Bedside
Accessories That Make Your Sex Life Amazing
Tristan Taormino
Text © 2009 Tristan Taormino
Photography © 2009 Quiver
First published in the USA in 2009 by

Quiver, a member of
Quayside Publishing Group
100 Cummings Center
Suite 406-L
Beverly, MA 01915-6101
www.quiverbooks.com
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or utilized, in any
form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, without prior permission in
writing from the publisher.
The Publisher maintains the records relating to images in this book required
by 18 USC 2257. Records are located at Rockport Publishers, Inc.,
100 Cummings Center, Suite 406-L, Beverly, MA 01915-6101.
13 12 11 10 09 1 2 3 4 5
ISBN-13: 978-1-59233-355-4
ISBN-10: 1-59233-355-9
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Taormino, Tristan, 1971-
The big book of sex toys : from vibrators and dildos to swings and slings-playful and
kinky bedside accessories that make your sex life amazing / [Tristan Taormino].
p. cm.
ISBN-13: 978-1-59233-355-4
ISBN-10: 1-59233-355-9
1. Sex toys. 2. Sex instruction. 3. Sexual excitement. I. Title.
HQ31.T27195 2009
613.9’6--dc22
2009021135
Cover and book design: Traffic

Book layout: Rachel Fitzgibbon
All photos courtesy of Lucia Scarlotta, except images on pages 195, courtesy of
Sportsheets International; 218–221 courtesy of Liberator Shapes; 222 and 223
courtesy of Stockroom.com.
Printed and bound in Singapore
4 THE BIG BOOK OF SEX TOYS

CONTENTS
08 Introduction 70 Chapter 7 • Power Up: Clitoral
Out of the Shadows: Sex Toys Move Vibrators Boost the Buzz
in to the Mainstream
82 Chapter 8 • Look Ma, No Hands:

12 Chapter 1 • Sexual Anatomy: Wearable Vibrators
Your Key to Pertinent Parts
94 Chapter 9 • Work Your Way In with

20 Chapter 2 • Sex Toys: Insertable Vibrators
Your Path to Solo and
Partnered Pleasure
102 Chapter 10 • Twice As Nice:
Dual-Action Vibrators
32 Chapter 3 • Shopping: How to
Choose the Best Toys for You
110 Chapter 11 • High-Tech and Luxury
Vibrators: Smart and Sassy
40 Chapter 4 • Not All Sex Toys
Are Created Equal: Your Primer
on What They’re Made Of 122 Chapter 12 • Pleasure for Him:
Penis Sleeves and Pumps
48 Chapter 5 • All About Vibrators

130 Chapter 13 • All You Ever Wanted
to Know about Cock Rings
58 Chapter 6 • Bullets, Eggs, and
Bunnies: Compact Clitoral Vibrators
Create a Buzz 136 Chapter 14 • Delicious Dildos and
Wonderful Wands
150 Chapter 15 • Anal Pleasure: 232 Chapter 22 • Toy Care,
Butt Toys for Her and Him Cleaning, and Safety
166 Chapter 16 • Get Ready for the 236 Chapter 23 • Building Your
Ride of Your Life: Strap-ons Toy Box
178 Chapter 17 • Ignite Your Senses 238 Resource Guide

with Sensation Products and Toys
246 Acknowledgments
186 Chapter 18 • Tie Her Up, Tie Him
Down: Bondage for Every Budget
247 About the Author
198 Chapter 19 • Crack the Whip!:

Kinky Toys for Fantasy and Fetish
206 Chapter 20 • Grown-Up Swing

Sets: Bedroom Gear and Sex Furniture
224 Chapter 21 • Wetter Is Better:

Lubricants to Enhance Your Pleasure
OUT OF THE SHADOWS:
Sex Toys Move in to the Mainstream
Picture this: You’re strolling the aisles of a well-lit,
gorgeously designed boutique, which has been carefully
stocked with a wide range of products—everything
from classic pieces to modern high-tech trends. To your
left is a long row of boxes of a product you’ve always
wondered about but never knew whom to ask.
O
ne has been unwrapped, is inside view wasn’t much better. There,
plugged in, and sits on the you’d most likely find racks of shrink-
shelf, ready for the inquisitive wrapped pink dongs labeled with words
consumer to pick it up, examine it, and like SHAFT and INTRUDER, boxes with
even turn it on. You stand and read the glossy photographs of girls whose open
packaging, then take a closer look at the mouths gave no hint of what might be
real thing. If you have questions, the inside, and other items hung out of reach
owner of the boutique, a friendly woman or tucked inside a glass counter in front
who greeted you when you entered, is of a guy you didn’t want to look at, let
ready to offer helpful shopping tips (from alone ask for help. Not surprisingly, that
experience—she’s tried most of the atmosphere of sleaze and shame
products herself). repelled a lot of people, especially
women, whether they were shopping
So, where are you? If you haven’t been alone or with a partner.
into one in recent years you might be
surprised to hear that what I’m describing Thankfully, all of that has changed
is actually a sex toy store. In years past, dramatically. Today, whether you’re
adult toy stores had a much seedier curious about massage oil and feathers
image of rundown buildings in sketchy or dildos and bondage, you can find a
neighborhoods, windows blacked out, clean, well-lit store where you’re greeted
and neon signs screaming “XXX.” The by friendly, knowledgeable salespeople
9
who will answer questions, give recom- Such sex-positive sex toy shopping has Debunking Myths
mendations, and encourage you to stay a changed the way we think about not only about Toys
while and look around. Harsh fluorescent sex toys but also our own sexuality.
bulbs and bachelor party gag gifts have These changes have contributed to a 1. Toys are for people who can’t
been replaced by tasteful track lighting growing sex toy industry that is estimated get “the real thing.”
and well-made, staff-tested toys and to generate more than $1 billion a This myth evokes the stereotypical sex
accessories in a couples-friendly year—and shows no signs of slowing toy: the blow-up doll. It’s based on the
atmosphere. Toys are out in the open for down. And best of all, the selection of notion that the only people who buy sex
you to look at, touch, and turn on, so you toys available to us is bigger, more toys are those who don’t have a sexual
can see how loud that vibrator sounds, diverse, and of higher quality than ever partner or—worse yet—can’t get one
how well made that glass dildo is, how before. While adult novelty giants like Doc (think antisocial loners and weirdos).
heavy the stainless steel butt plug feels. Johnson and California Exotics still Their only option for sexual pleasure is to
continue to churn out a huge selection of use a toy as a “replacement” for a human
Nowadays, you can find couples-friendly mass-produced toys each year, small being. Sex toys are not replacements for
and sex-positive stores around the boutique companies such as Jimmyjane partners, and people don’t always use
country, in small and large cities as well and Njoy focus on a smaller number of them instead of having sex. People from
as the suburbs. Not only do they sell high-end luxury toys. As a result of all walks of life, both single and
erotic wares, but they also educate unique companies like theirs, many sex partnered, use sex toys.
customers, create a safe space for toys are now made with higher quality
people to explore their sexuality without materials in aesthetically pleasing and 2. Toys are only for masturbation.
shame, and promote a positive attitude highly functional designs. This myth is related to the first one and
about sex. You can also socialize with reinforces the idea that you only use toys
your friends at a house party and sip Given all this, you might assume that the
by yourself. Sex toys are wonderful for
cocktails while you sample the latest stereotypes and myths associated with
solo pleasure, but they aren’t just for that
flavored lube and examine the newest sex toys would be a thing of the past. Not
special alone time! There are so many
rabbit vibrator. And, for those folks not so! Sadly, myths still abound and prevent
different kinds of toys, and most of them
ready to venture into public or semipublic some people from considering what a
can be used not only alone, but also to
spaces, online sex shops provide people wonderful addition toys can be to their
bring fun, fantasy, variety, and inspiration
the opportunity to shop for intimate items sex lives.
to sex with your partner.
with discretion and anonymity.

3. Toys are for folks who have your masculinity or one-up your I wrote this book as a way to introduce
sexual problems. lovemaking skills. This is not an either/or people to all the different types of sex
This myth originated in the days when choice or a contest. Besides, a vibrator toys, and their style, form, and function.
doctors diagnosed women with sexual doesn’t keep her warm at night, take her Not only is it a guidebook, but it also
frigidity (and other nonsexual ailments) to dinner, or fix things around the house! offers my recommendations for top toys
and prescribed vibrators to induce in each category. Plus, there’s advice
orgasms. It was helped along by the about how to use different toys, acces-
5. If we have to use a toy, then
concept of “marital aids”—the old term sories, and products to inspire, expand,
something’s wrong.
used to describe sex toys—a phrase that and enhance your sex life. I’ve also
If a person feels threatened by sex toys,
persists to this day. The underlying theme included general prices, although do
he may believe that his partner’s desire
here is that toys are made to fix problems keep in mind that price may vary
for a toy is a not-so-subtle comment on
and if you’re healthy, you don’t need depending on where you buy.
his skill as a lover. When I worked at a
them. What a load of bull! Although toys
sex toy store, I often met customers who
can certainly help people with a variety of Just as technology has revolutionized
resisted buying a toy by saying, “I can
sexual issues, from low libido to erectile our everyday lives, I believe sex toys
satisfy my partner just fine on my own—
dysfunction, that’s not their only purpose. have the potential to transform our sex
I don’t need any help.” Using a toy is not
lives. I hope this book inspires you to
about compensating for your short-
join the revolution!
4. If my wife gets her hands comings (or someone else’s); it’s about
on a vibrator, she won’t need bringing something new into the mix to
me anymore. enhance sex.
They may not admit it out loud, but
somewhere in the back of their minds, For people who have gotten past the
many men have this irrational fear: a myths—and recognize that sex toys can
vibrator does a better job than they do. be an incredible way to explore new
Because of this, for some, vibrators and dimensions of partnered and solo
other sex toys feel threatening. But they sex—there’s just one not-so-small
shouldn’t. Sex toys don’t put a dent in problem: How and what do you choose?
Introduction 11
SEXUAL ANATOMY:
Your Key To Pertinent Parts
13
Before we dive into the toy box, let’s have a refresher Female Sexual Anatomy
course on male and female sexual anatomy. Although The vulva encompasses the outer labia,
inner labia, fourchette, frenulum, urethral
this chapter focuses on the genitals, know that our opening, vaginal opening, clitoral hood,
bodies are full of erogenous zones, and which spots and clitoral glans. Some people refer to
the vagina to describe the entire external
are hot differ from person to person. Men and women’s genital region, but that’s not correct.
nipples, breasts, and chests are incredibly sensitive, Vulva is the proper term, and one I use
throughout the book. The outer labia
and many people love to have them stimulated during (also known as the labia majora) are the
sex. A well-placed stroke against the inner thighs or outer lips of the vulva. They contain hair
follicles and are naturally hairy. The outer
back of the knees, a nibble on an ear, kisses on the neck, labia are sensitive, and you can stroke,
rub, lick, and even tug gently on them.
and even stimulation of the feet can all be a big turn-on
The inner labia (also known as the labia
for people. So, while many of the toys in this book were minora) are the two hairless inner lips of
the vulva. They can be thin and narrow,
designed for the vulva, anus, and penis—and those are
thick and wide, one of each, or
the parts we’ll cover in this chapter—don’t forget the rest. somewhere in between. The inner labia
tend to be more sensitive than the outer
Think of the entire body as your erotic canvas and sex
labia. When a woman is turned on, they
toys as tools to help bring a sexual masterpiece to life. swell and deepen in color. It’s important
to know that every woman’s vulva is
different: Some have large outer lips and
thin inner ones, and some have inner lips
that are much more pronounced than their

outer lips. Some women’s lips are similar
in size, and some are asymmetrical. The
skin where the inner lips meet at the
bottom is a delicate spot called the
fourchette. The skin where the inner lips
meet at the top is the frenulum, and this
can be a very sensitive spot for many
women, especially because of its
proximity to the clitoral glans and hood.
The clitoral hood is the skin that protects

the clitoral glans; it’s similar to the clitorial hood
foreskin on a man’s penis. Under the
hood is the clitoral glans. The clitoral clitorial glans
pubic mound
glans—which some people refer to
simply as the clitoris—is the most frenulum
outer labia
sensitive part of a woman’s body. It vaginal opening
contains 6,000 to 8,000 nerve endings. inner labia
It’s important to note that the clitoris is not
just this tiny nub, but also a complex
system of connected nerves, tissues,
muscles, and ligaments. Beneath the
perineum
hood, the clitoris has a shaft, which runs
anus
from the glans to the bottom of the
frenulum. The legs of the clitoris are like
two ends of a wishbone and span from
the shaft all the way to the fourchette.
Female sexual anatomy
Sexual Anatomy: Your Key To Pertinent Parts 15

Below the clitoral glans and between The area between the vagina and the head to the shaft. If you follow the ridge
the inner labia is the urethral opening. anus is the perineum, a sensitive but of the corona to the underside of the
Behind the pubic bone is the urethra, sometimes overlooked erogenous zone penis, you’ll notice where the two ends
which is about 1½ to 2 inches (3.75 to 5 on the body that responds well to come together: This is the frenulum.
cm) long and leads to the bladder. Below massage and stimulation. This area is often the most sensitive
the urethral opening is the opening of the part of the head.
vagina, which is the most sensitive part of
the vagina and leads to the vaginal canal. Male Sexual Anatomy An uncircumcised penis has a foreskin,
a sheath of skin that covers and protects
The scrotal sac is the sac of skin that
Just inside the vaginal opening about 1 to the glans. The foreskin’s inside fold is
surrounds the testicles. The testicles,
2 inches, through the front vaginal wall, made of mucous membrane and keeps
commonly called the balls, are the glands
you can feel the urethral sponge, the surface of the glans soft, moist, and
involved in the production of testosterone
commonly called the G-spot. The urethral sensitive. The foreskin contains a rich
and sperm. The shaft is the main body
sponge is made of spongy erectile tissue, supply of blood vessels and a dense
of the penis. The glans, also called the
which contains paraurethral glands and concentration of nerve endings. The
head, is the most sensitive part of a
ducts. Like the clitoris, the G-spot is not frenulum on an uncircumcised penis is
man’s penis because it has the most
just an isolated spot of sensitivity, but where the foreskin attaches to the head
nerve endings. The urethral opening is
part of a network of nerves, muscles, and on the underside.
the hole where urine and ejaculate leave
tissue. When a woman is turned on, the
the body. The perineum is the area between the
glands within the urethral sponge fill with
base of the penis and the anal opening.
fluid, causing the sponge to swell. On a circumcised penis, the foreskin has
When you stimulate a man’s perineum,
Sometimes, that fluid is released through been removed so that the head is always
you’re stimulating the bulb of the penis,
the paraurethral ducts into the urethra visible. The corona—sometimes referred
the part that extends inside his body.
(or two ducts that are just adjacent to to as the coronal ridge—is the outer
the urethra). This is called female or perimeter of the head that joins the
vaginal ejaculation.

glans
coronal ridge frenulum
shaft
scrotal sac
testicles
anus
perineum
Male sexual anatomy

Anal Anatomy when you are ready to have a bowel toward your spine, then toward your
movement, the internal sphincter relaxes, navel again. The rectum and colon both
Men and women have nearly identical
allowing feces to move from the rectum curve laterally (from side to side) as well;
anorectal anatomy, so the following
to the anal canal and out the anus. The whether they curve to the right or the left
applies to you regardless of your gender.
external and the internal sphincter will vary from person to person. These
The anus is the anal opening; it is made
muscles can work independently of each curves are part of the reason that anal
of soft tissue that is rich in nerve endings.
other, but because they overlap, they penetration should be slow and gentle,
It has a puckered appearance, and the
often work together. The more aware you especially at first. Each person’s rectum
skin around it contains hair follicles.
are of your sphincters and the more you and its curves are unique, and it is best to
Just inside the anus are the external and practice using them, the more toned and feel your way inside the rectum slowly,
internal sphincter muscles. These are the “in shape” they will be, and the easier following its curves, rather than jamming
muscles that give the anus that tight and more comfortable anal penetration anything straight inside.
feeling and control bowel movements; will be.
The anus, the anal canal, and the rectum
they are the ones we must learn to relax
The anal canal is the first few inches are all sensitive in different ways, which is
in order to achieve comfortable anal
inside the anus, and is made of soft, why anal stimulation and penetration can
penetration. Closer to the opening is the
sensitive tissue with a high concentration be so pleasurable. The anus and the
external sphincter. You can learn to
of nerve endings. Beyond the anal canal outer part of the anal canal are made of
control the external sphincter, making it
is the rectum, which is 8 to 9 inches (20 the same sensitive soft tissue, and this
tense or relax. Imagine that you are
to 22.5 cm) long; the rectum is made up tissue contains the highest concentration
holding something in your ass or
of loose folds of soft, smooth tissue. of nerve endings of all our anal anatomy.
expelling something. As you suck in and
Wider than the anal canal, the rectum has In general, this tissue tends to be more
tense up or push down and release, you
the ability to expand more than the anal sensitive to touch and vibration. The inner
are exercising your external sphincter
canal when you are aroused, which is part of the anal canal and the rectum are
muscles. The internal sphincter, on the
what makes penetration possible. made of mucous membrane and have a
other hand, is controlled by the
lot fewer nerve endings; however, this
autonomic nervous system, which also The rectum is not a straight tube, but has tissue is much more sensitive to pressure
controls such involuntary bodily functions two gentle curves. The lower part of the (from penetration, for example).
as your breathing rate. This muscle rectum curves toward your navel. After a
ordinarily reacts reflexively; for example, few inches, the rectum curves back

When it comes to anorectal anatomy, the
one important difference between men
and women is that men have a prostate
gland. The prostate gland (sometimes
referred to as the P-spot or the male
G-spot) surrounds part of a man’s
urethra; it’s behind the pubic bone, below
the bladder and above the base of the
penis. A mass of muscle, glands, and
connective tissue, the prostate is about
the size and shape of a walnut; it
produces ejaculatory fluid that combines
with sperm and fluid from the seminal
vesicles to create male ejaculate. The
prostate gland is 1 to 2 inches (2.5 to 5
cm) inside a man’s anus on the front wall,
so it can be directly stimulated through
anal penetration. Prostate stimulation can
be incredibly pleasurable, and many
men can have an orgasm from prostate
stimulation alone or combined with
genital stimulation. Women lack a
prostate gland, but many still find anal
sex pleasurable.

SEX TOYS: Your Path to
Solo and Partnered Pleasure
21
For many people, the first sexual partner we have is Solo Play: Self-Discovery
Equals Better Sex
ourselves, and masturbation is the way we get to know
Most boys begin to masturbate when
our sexual selves. As we touch ourselves, we explore they hit puberty; their first erection, wet
our bodies, discover new sensations, and try different dream, and masturbation session are all
rites of passage in our society. By the
techniques. Masturbation is a gift, an act of self-love. time they are young adults, they’ve
People masturbate with different intentions and for explored how their penis works and have
masturbated to orgasm. On the other
different reasons: to have an orgasm, to fantasize, to hand, many girls don’t have a parallel
melt away stress, to help fall asleep (or wake up), or experience. A girl’s first clitoral hard-on
isn’t exactly a common theme in pop
to feel a connection to your own body. Using a toy culture. And women aren’t encouraged to
while you masturbate is a good way to learn about embrace their sexual bodies in the same
way that men are. As a result, many
your body and your sexuality, strengthen and tone women don’t masturbate regularly or
your pelvic muscles, spice up your routine, and have never masturbated at all. This
double standard puts women at a great
explore a new activity. disadvantage in their sexual evolution,
and they often grow up with feelings of
ambivalence, guilt, confusion, or shame
about their own bodies.
For a woman who’s never masturbated

before, a sex toy like a vibrator is a great
way to introduce her to the idea. If she
feels shy about touching herself or
insecure about what to do, a vibrator can
lend the helping, um, hand she needs.
Similarly, for women who’ve never had an
orgasm or who have trouble reaching
orgasm, a vibrator is often recommended
by sex therapists and physicians.

Regardless of your gender, self-discovery
shouldn’t end once you become sexually
active. When people ask me for tips on
how to become a better lover, I have one
piece of advice for everyone: masturbate.
That’s right: The more you have sex with
yourself, the better you’ll be at having sex
with your partner. Self-knowledge is the
key to sexual health, well-being, and
pleasure. And the more you know about
your own body—what you like, what you
don’t, what feels good, what doesn’t, what
turns you on, what turns you off—the
more you can share with your partner.
Using a toy while you masturbate is also

a good way to try out something new.
Perhaps you’re interested in experiment-
ing—with using a vibrator, testing out a
cock ring, or exploring anal penetration.
Whatever it is, it may be something you’re
curious about, but you’re not ready to
discuss it or try it out with your partner.
That’s okay.You don’t have to share every
sexual desire you have with your partner
right away. Instead, give it a try during a
solo session, and see how you like it.
Perhaps you’ll decide to keep it to
yourself, reserving it for self-pleasuring
occasions. Or you may find that you like it
so much that you want to share it with
your partner.
Sex Toys: Your Path To Solo And Partnered Pleasure 23

Sexual Exercise for feelings in your pelvic area, increasing performed daily for best results. If your
Better Health your sensitivity and responsiveness. muscles seem tired at first, don’t
The exercises will also tone the pelvic worry—that’s normal. The harder the
Masturbation isn’t just fun, it’s actually
muscles, making them more flexible and exercises are to do for you, the less toned
good for you! Just as we know that
more receptive to pleasurable sensations. your PC muscles are, and the more you
exercise is good for our bodies and helps
Women who regularly exercise their PC need a workout. Use your common
reduce the risk of certain conditions and
and pelvic muscles report it helps them: sense, and don’t overdo it to begin with;
illnesses, exercising our sexual anatomy
if you experience any pain while doing
is also important. Specifically, exercising
• Maintain urinary tract health them, see a doctor.
the pubococcygeus muscles (also known
as the PC muscles) plays a big role in • Prevent or control incontinence To locate your PC muscles, imagine that
men and women’s sexual health. The PC you are trying to stop peeing (or while
muscles run from the pubic bone to the • Prepare for pregnancy and
you are peeing, you can actually stop the
tailbone, supporting the uterus, bladder, childbirth
flow of urine). The muscles you contract
and bowel. For men and women alike, to stop the flow are your PC muscles. You
• Achieve greater sensitivity
these muscles contract randomly when can also slide a finger inside your vagina
during sex
you are sexually aroused and and try to squeeze your finger with your
rhythmically during orgasm. By toning • Have increased pleasure during muscles. Once you’ve found the PC
and strengthening the PC muscles clitoral stimulation and vaginal and muscles, take some deep breaths.
through exercise, men can improve anal penetration Contract the muscles and hold the
prostate health, learn to control and delay contraction for a few seconds. Then relax
• Have better, more controlled
ejaculation, control incontinence, the muscles. Begin to add a second to
orgasms
maintain better erections, and experience the routine, and see whether you can
more sensitivity during sex. work your way up to 10 seconds of
Kegel exercises were named for the
physician who first popularized the theory contraction followed by 10 seconds of
For women, the PC muscles can be
of exercising PC muscles. You can do the relaxation. You can do these in sets of ten
stressed, weakened, or atrophied from
exercises lying down, sitting, or standing, several times a day. For best results,
obesity, during pregnancy and childbirth,
and doing them during masturbation will make sure you’re isolating the PC
after a period of sexual abstinence, or just
increase blood flow to the genitals and muscle. Don’t hold your breath or
as part of the aging process. By exercis-
increase your arousal. As with other contract your stomach or other muscles.
ing and strengthening your PC muscles,
you can get better in tune with the exercise regimens, this should be

Vaginal Exercise: Try Ben-Wa Balls,
Stone Eggs, and Barbells
Some people believe that doing PC muscle exercises with something

inside the vagina (or in the anus for men) produces better results because
you’re working the muscles against some resistance. There are several
products designed especially for Kegel exercises.
Large egg-shaped toys made of polished jade, onyx, and other natural
stones can be used by women to exercise your PC muscles. You slide a
well-lubed egg into your vagina, then practice contracting your muscles
around it. Because it’s both thick and heavy, it provides more of a
challenge to the muscles. Once the muscles are stronger, you can do the
exercises standing up. Smaller and lighter than stone eggs, Ben-Wa balls
are two balls on a string usually made of plastic or silicone. They are a
good starter for people intimidated by the size and weight of the egg.
Eggs and Ben-Wa balls should not be used anally.
Heavier but not as thick as eggs, vaginal barbells are recommended by

Ben-Wa Balls
physicians, sexologists, and therapists for Kegel exercises. The Kegelci-
sor and Betty’s Vaginal Barbell (designed by masturbation guru and
sexologist Betty Dodson) are heavy metal dildos that are similar in design:
They are about 7 inches (18 cm) long, weigh nearly a pound, and have
different-sized balls on either end. You begin by practicing clamping down
on the larger ball, then graduate to the smaller one as your muscle tone
improves; some exercises call for you to contract the muscle while pulling
the barbell out of your vagina. The Natural Contours Energie is a similar
product, except it has a plastic coating over metal and a smooth surface
without balls. All three can be used anally, but with great caution,
because they don’t have flared bases. When the workout is over, the
barbells, Ben-Wa balls, and stone egg can also be used as sex toys,
just for pleasure.
Betty’s Vaginal Barbell

Partnered Pleasure course before you’re properly warmed a vibrator can be there for you. What if
Gets an Assist up, your body literally isn’t ready: The you want to play with his penis, balls, and
genitals aren’t fully engorged, and the nipples at the same time? Nipple clamps
Sex toys are designed for pleasure, and
vagina hasn’t lubricated and expanded. and a small vibrator will help you cover
your sex life can benefit from them in
Some women who experience pain all his hot spots.
many different ways. Although toys have
during intercourse simply haven’t given
come a long way since they were
their bodies enough time to rev up. All I like to think of sex toys as tools for
considered “marital aids,” one thing
sorts of sex toys, including dildos and evolution: They expand your sexual
remains true: They can be problem
vibrators, can be used to facilitate the repertoire. One of the best things about
solvers. Low libido is one of the most
arousal process. They can help make sex toys is that they can help you move
common issues that women face,
foreplay fun and playful, relax you, and away from an intercourse-always model
especially as they get older. For women
get you in the mood. In addition, if your of sex. Intercourse is often seen as the
who have trouble getting aroused, a
partner is well endowed, penetration with ultimate activity, the one you’re working
vibrator can help get the party started.
a toy that’s slightly smaller than him is a your way toward, the main event. But the
For men, erectile dysfunction and
great way to prepare. truth is that intercourse isn’t the only way
premature ejaculation are two of the most
to have sex. Some folks prefer other
common problems. Penis pumps can
Sex toys can also give you an “extra set kinds of pleasure, including mutual
help you get an erection; a cock ring can
of hands” in the bedroom, allowing you masturbation, manual stimulation, and
help you maintain a stronger erection,
to do two or three things (or be in two or oral sex. Some women can’t orgasm
delay ejaculation, and prolong
three places) at once! Imagine if you from intercourse. Some people can’t
intercourse.
could give her vaginal penetration, clitoral have intercourse. Women with high-risk
stimulation, and anal pleasure simultane- pregnancies, those who’ve just given
One of the most common complaints I
ously. You can with a butt plug, a vibrator, birth, and those with certain medical
hear from women is that there isn’t
or a dildo to help you out. When the conditions may not be able to have
enough foreplay before intercourse. In
perfect position for intercourse means intercourse, just as men with erectile
general, it takes women more time than
you can’t reach other parts of her body, dysfunction or prostate issues may not.
men to get aroused. If you have inter-

But that doesn’t mean you can’t have
sex! Toys give couples the opportunity
to think outside the box.
Research has shown that the majority

of women need clitoral stimulation to
orgasm. For some women, a hand or a
tongue simply is not enough. They need
a powerful, focused, consistent kind of
stimulation that human beings can’t
always provide. That’s why vibrators
exist! Vibrators deliver a particular type
of stimulation that is unmatched. Some
women find that oral sex and manual
stimulation feel wonderful, turn them
on, and get them to the edge, but can’t
deliver them into ecstasy. Vibrators can
get you to the finish line.
For long-term couples, toys can be that

spark you need to reignite your sexual
relationship. Sometimes, when you bring
something new and fresh to your sex life,
it helps you reconnect with your partner.
Simply shopping for a new play object
can be a huge turn-on for many couples.

As you browse the shelves at a store, you
can whisper sexy things to one another,
reveal what you like about a certain toy,
and tease each other with the possibili-
ties. Once you’ve made your purchase,
there’s plenty more fun to come. Each
Christmas, a man I know orders a special
new toy for his wife and includes a
handwritten card with it; it has become a
tradition for them. He loves to figure out
the perfect one to buy, while she revels in
the anticipation of what’s waiting for her
under the tree. They’ve had an exciting,
fulfilling sex life for more than fifteen
years together.
Liberator Shapes, swings, and slings can

help change the angle of penetration or
support and arrange your bodies in ways
you never thought possible, thus
inspiring new positions. Items such as
The We-Vibe (see page 88)
blindfolds, massage oil candles, and
G-spot toys may introduce new activities
into your erotic repertoire. Toys can also
set the stage for fantasy role-playing;
sometimes all it takes is a crack of the
paddle to keep naughty girls or boys in
line! Ultimately, there’s a reason vibrators,
dildos, and plugs are called sex toys:
They’re lots of fun!

Top Ten Reasons to Add Sex Toys
to Your Sex Life
1. Explore something new: It’s easy to get bored or complacent in a long-term

sexual relationship. Kick things up a notch with a sex toy.
2. Go from good to great: Already having hot sex? Put technology and innovation
to work for you, and make it even hotter.
3. Have a quickie: Sometimes, you just need to get off and get off quick. Why not
take a shortcut to that release and relaxation?
4. Show and tell: Take turns masturbating for each other, each with a favorite toy.
You’ll get to watch each other, show off for your partner, and maybe learn a thing
or two about your lover from the performance.
5. Stay up all night: Let’s say your penis is done for the evening, but the two of you
aren’t. Grab a toy, and you’re good to go for as many more rounds as you want.
6. Bring her over the edge: Some women need powerful, nonstop clitoral
stimulation to come, and a vibrator is the only thing that will help them get there.
7. Achieve synchronicity: Want to experience pleasure in all the right places at the
same exact time? Simultaneous sensations (and orgasms) are possible!
8. Go for more: Whether you want to learn how to become multiorgasmic or it

comes, well, naturally to you, toys help inspire multiple orgasms for him and her.
9. Double the pleasure: Is your partner craving twice the fun but you don’t want to
invite a neighbor over to help out? You can be both places at once with a dildo or
vibrator.
10. Create your own adventure: If the bedroom is your stage, consider sex toys the
props in your erotic drama; be creative, have fun, and embrace your playful side!

Shopping:
How to Choose the Best Toys for You
33
There are many different Consider Functionality Other toys can be used for several
different activities, such as some
factors to consider when What would you like the toy to do? What
vibrators. Although slimline and phallic
do you want to use it for? What features
selecting a toy, including are important to you? Some toys are vibrators appear to be built for penetra-
pretty self-explanatory when it comes to tion, they can also be used for external
function, style, material, clitoral stimulation. Wand-style vibrators
figuring out what they are created for; for
size, cost, and your own example, if you want to blindfold are for external stimulation only; however,
someone, you can get a blindfold. But many have separate attachments that
personal taste. This transform them into insertable toys.
other toys are a little more complex.
chapter offers a good Some are designed for a very specific Fingertip vibes are great for stimulating
task. An ergonomic vibrator, for instance, clits, and they can also bring some buzz
guide for what to think to the nipples, anus, balls, and shaft of
has a single purpose: Its shape is meant
about before you buy; to hug the curves of a woman’s body and the penis. Curved dildos and wands are
deliver clitoral stimulation. A vaginal great for both G-spot and prostate
as you think about your stimulation. Some toys are multitaskers,
barbell is suitable for women who want
options, keep in mind that to exercise and strengthen their PC such as double-ended dildos, which
muscles and for those who like the allow two partners to be penetrated at the
you don’t have to limit same time. Similarly, dual-action vibrators
feeling of a heavy object inside. As its
yourself to just one toy! name indicates, a butt plug is an anal are made for simultaneous vaginal
pleasure toy, but it delivers a specific kind penetration and clitoral stimulation.
of anal stimulation: a feeling of fullness (See the sidebar for more examples.)
inside the rectum without any movement.
So, if you like in-and-out movement
during anal penetration, a plug is not the
best toy for the job (try a dildo instead).

Pick Your Pleasure: Toys by Function
• External clitoral vibrators: bullets, • Strap-on sex: dildos, dildos with bullet
eggs, fingertip vibes, pocket rockets, vibes, strap-on harnesses, thigh
disguised vibes, ergonomic vibrators, harnesses
wand-style plug-ins, wearable vibes,
slimline vibes, phallic vibes, luxury vibes, • Simultaneous penetration for him and
smart vibes, vibrating cock rings her: double-headed dildos, simultaneous
penetration toys
• Vaginal penetration with vibration:
hands-free insertable vibes, slimline • Prostate stimulation: curved dildos,
vibes, phallic vibes, G-spotters, luxury some G-spot vibrators and wands, butt
vibes, some smart vibes, dildos with plugs, vibrating butt plugs, prostate toys
vibrator, wand-style plug-in vibrators with • Erection enhancement: cock rings,
attachments penis pumps
• Simultaneous clitoral vibration and • Penis and ball stimulation: penis
vaginal penetration: rabbit-style dual- sleeves, penis pumps, vibrators, bullets,
action vibes, curvy double-action vibes eggs, fingertip vibes, pocket rockets,
• Vaginal penetration (without vibration): wand-style plug-ins, vibrating cock rings
dildos, wands, vaginal barbells • Sensation play: feathers, massage oil,
• G-spot stimulation: G-spot vibrators, edible body paint and dust, massage oil
luxury vibes, curved dildos, wands, candles, liquid latex
wand-style plug-in vibrators with G-spot • Bondage: blindfolds, hoods, bondage
attachments tape, cuffs and restraints, collars,
• Anal penetration with vibration: dildos bondage kits
with bullet vibes, vibrating butt plugs, • Spanking: paddles, slappers, crops
inflatable plugs, vibrating probes
• Role-play and fetish: nipple clamps,
• Anal penetration: anal beads, butt paddles, slappers, crops, floggers, canes
plugs, dildos, curved dildos, wands
Shopping: How To Choose The Best Toys For You 35

Consider Your Style of female sexual anatomy, complete with them even look like toys from the future,
Each person has his or her own unique inner and outer labia, clitoris, vaginal and these are perfect for the gadget-
sense of style, and we express our taste opening, and pubic hair, and some even loving super geek in your life. Another
in many different ways, from the clothes have G-spots inside! trend is the rise of boutique companies
we wear, to how we style our hair, to how that produce a small number of very high-
Other people want toys to look very end luxury toys. Some are made of
we decorate our homes. It used to be that
discreet, the kind of object that if spotted top-notch materials such as glass, metal,
the majority of sex toys were cheaply
in your luggage or on a bedside table stone, ceramic, and wood, while others
made, and they looked like garish props.
wouldn’t warrant a second glance. These take it a step further to Swarovski
Thankfully, manufacturers have come
often look like ordinary household crystals, 24-karat gold, Italian leather,
a long way in developing toys that
gadgets, and have clean lines and simple jade, and pearls. Some are hand made,
are not only well crafted, but are also
designs. Similarly, some prefer more limited edition, or one of a kind, and their
aesthetically pleasing to a variety of
masculine-style toys that come in solid presentation and packaging is usually as
people with different preferences.
colors, black, or white and don’t have decadent as the toys themselves. These
For some people, when it comes to their fancy embellishments or textures. At the toys capture a stunning design aesthetic,
toys, it’s all about realism. They want other end of the spectrum are folks who elevating the items from gorgeous sex
dildos and vibrators to closely resemble like playful toys: They may look like toys to works of art—and they have a
penises and penis sleeves to look like animals, vegetables, or fanciful creatures. price tag that reflects their superior
vaginas (and anuses). If you want a These styles often come in bright colors, design and craftsmanship.
realistic-looking and -feeling toy, look for festive patterns, and charming packaging.
thermal plastic toys (with brand names Similarly, if you’re a girly girl, there are
such as CyberSkin) or silicone ones plenty of toys out there to suit your style; Other Factors to Consider:
(especially the silicone material VixSkin think pinks, purples, reds, floral designs, Cost, Durability, and Size
by Vixen Creations). These materials are leopard prints, and lots of sparkle!
Speaking of price tags, how much are
the closest to the feel and texture of real you willing to spend? Cost is definitely
One of the trends in the adult toy industry
flesh. Realistic-style dildos and vibrators a factor, because toys can run anywhere
definitely reflects the technologically
have anatomically correct circumcised from $15 (for a small vibrating egg) to
savvy world around us; these are toys for
heads, balls, and even veins. Many come hundreds of dollars for a silicone vibrator.
the iPod generation and have a decidedly
in different skin colors. The same holds When it comes to luxury items and sex
modern flair. They’re shiny, sleek,
true for penis sleeves designed to look furniture, you can even move into the
ergonomic, made of top-notch materials,
like vaginas: The more detailed (and thousands. Pricing is pretty consistent
and above all, very high-tech. Some of
expensive) of this variety are replicas

Go Green: How to Shop with
in the adult industry, and you generally Mother Earth in Mind
get what you pay for. Toys made of
inexpensive plastics that can be mass- For those of you who shudder at the thought of your old
produced are much less expensive than vibrators taking up space in a landfill somewhere and who want
those crafted of superior materials that to be kinder to the Earth as you get your groove on, here are
require more labor to create them as well some eco-friendly sex toys and practices:
as those that feature unique designs and
technology. Also keep in mind that 1. Buy a rechargeable vibrator over a battery-powered one.
cheaper toys made of materials such as
2. Use rechargeable batteries in your battery-powered toys.
rubber/PVC should be replaced every
year, whereas pricier toys should be built 3. Look for nontoxic materials, such as medical-grade silicone,
to last longer, depending on the material. glass, metal, and phthalate-free plastics.
A guide to all the different sex toy
4. Pick materials that can be recycled, such as glass
materials is in the next chapter. and metal.
When it comes to sex toys, size does 5. Participate in a sex toy recycling program. Believe it or not, they
matter and your individual needs will do exist. Some stores will accept old or broken toys and give you
dictate what the ideal size is for you. a credit toward a new purchase.
Maybe you want a toy that you can easily 6. Find toys made of recycled products, such as rubber whips
fit in your purse or that won’t take up too and strap-on harnesses made from old tires.
much room in your luggage. If it’s a
7. Do some research to find toys that are ethically
penetration toy, terms such as “small”
manufactured and traded.
and “large” are all relative and very
individual, which is why it’s a good idea 8. Use toys made of natural materials, including sustainably
to see a toy out of its packaging before harvested wood, marble, granite, and stone.
you buy it (or look for measurements). 9. Choose natural and organic lubes, massage oils, and other
Want to use your vibrator mostly by body products, and ask whether they are tested
yourself, with a partner, or both? Smaller on animals.
vibrators can be easier for some people
10. Purchase toys in eco-friendly and recyclable packaging.
to incorporate into intercourse.

Choosing a Good Sex Store by Cory Silverberg
The sad fact is that there are far more bad is. If they’re friendly and give you their
sex stores than good ones. A bad sex time, it’s a good sign. If they’re just trying
store is one that overcharges, offers little to get you off the phone and seem rude,
to no customer service, and sells move on. I also recommend sending a
products of questionable safety. A good store an email with a request for a
sex store charges fair prices, offers basic product recommendation. See how long
warranties, and trains its staff so they can they take to respond, and whether you
answer your questions honestly and feel like they’re pushing the most
intelligently (and without rolling their expensive products or actually listening
eyes). To some extent, finding a good sex to your question.
store is about the fit, but there are some
Know the policies. Make sure you know
things to look for and to think about.
what their return and warranty policies
Below are tips from one of the best
are. If they don’t offer at least a thirty-day
people in the business: Cory Silverberg,
warranty on defective merchandise take
a twenty-year veteran of sex toy retailing.
your business elsewhere. If they aren’t
Get a recommendation. It might be clear with you about what happens if their
embarrassing to ask a friend, but you’re DVD doesn’t work in your player or you
never going to get a more honest answer don’t like the book you bought, think
or advertisement for a sex store than the twice before giving them your business.
one you get from someone who has
Compare prices. If you go online you’ll
shopped there. If you don’t want to ask a
find a huge range in pricing for any given
friend, do some online research on neigh-
product. Use the Web to do comparison
borhood review sites (such as Yelp.com).
shopping, but keep in mind that if you
Make them work for your business. Call want quality customer service, and a
a store and ask a few questions about company that will stand behind its
their business or about a specific products, you’ll probably pay a little
product. See how their customer service more, and it’s worth it.

Shop in person. This isn’t always for a first-time vibrator should give you a
possible, but when you shop in person sense of how much they know about their
you get way more information about what products and how they work. If the
you’re buying and whether or not it’s answer you get sounds more like a sales
going to be right for you. The Web is great pitch than a personal and relevant
for research, but once you know what you response, be wary. Although more stores
want, call around to see whether any sex are training their staff, it doesn’t mean
stores in your area carry it. they are training them well!
Find a store that caters to your ethics. Follow these minimum expectations for
There are sex stores that focus on online shopping. If you shop online,
organic products, sex stores that are make sure the company has a toll-free
worker cooperatives, feminist sex stores, number and that they will pay for
and online stores catering just to shipping if you receive a defective
Christians. One of the great benefits of product. If they don’t have a posted
the boom in sex toy sales is that it’s now policy, get something in an email from
easier to shop in a way that doesn’t them before you shop. The same goes
compromise your ethics and values (or at for a privacy policy. If it’s not posted on
least doesn’t compromise them as the site, don’t shop until you’ve got
much!). Don’t feel like you have to settle something in writing.
for a cheesy or sleazy porn shop, unless
that’s what you’re looking for. Cory Silverberg is a worker-owner of
Come As You Are (comeasyouare.com),
Demand real answers, not marketing. the world’s only democratically run,
It’s a good idea to ask a few questions to worker cooperative sex toy store. He is
test the knowledge of the sales staff. also the Sexuality Guide for About.com
Asking them to explain, for example, why (sexuality.about.com) and the coauthor of
one product is much more expensive The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability.
than the other or what they’d recommend

not All Sex toyS Are
CreAted equAl:
Your Primer on What They’re Made Of
41
D
Many sex toys—especially ildos, vibrators, butt plugs, cock life and should be replaced regularly
rings, penis sleeves, and other (at least once a year). Because they are
inexpensive “adult novel- toys made of these materials porous, you should never share these
ties” found at traditional come in a wide variety of styles, from toys, or always cover them with condoms
super-realistic flesh-toned dildos to if you do.
adult bookstores—are colorful and glittery vibrators.
Elastomers are flexible plastics. Some
made of some kind of
In recent years, there has been some companies have turned to elastomers to
rubber, vinyl, or softened serious debate about the safety of these make toys that look and feel like rubber
toys, because they contain chemicals but are latex-free, more resilient, and free
PVC (polyvinyl chloride,
known as phthalates (see sidebar on of phthalates. Toys made of elastomers
plus softening agents page 44). However, companies are are firm yet soft, durable, and hypoal-
developing soft plastics without these lergenic. They are slightly porous, so
known as phthalates).
chemicals, so if this is a concern for you, they shouldn’t be shared unless you
These toys are cheap to look for toys marked “phthalate-free.” protect them with condoms. Clean them
The biggest pro of soft PVC, rubber, and with soap and water. Thermoplastic
produce and thus often
rubberlike materials is their price point, rubber (TPR) is also a phthalate-free soft
very affordable. so if you want to try something without material that has a durable yet pliable
spending a lot of cash, this is a good bet. texture. It’s still porous, so TPR toys
But these toys are not long-term should not be shared.
investments; they definitely have a shelf

Thermal Plastics: Silicone: More Expensive, Toys made of silicone include dildos,
Closest to Real Skin but Definitely Worth It vibrators, butt plugs, wands, cock rings,
and penis sleeves. The majority of
Thermal plastic toys—sold under popular If you want a soft, flexible toy that’s
silicone dildos are designed to be
brand names such as CyberSkin, durable, easy to clean, and can be
compatible with strap-on harnesses. As
SoftSkin, Real Feel Super Skin, and disinfected, silicone is the top-of-the-line
the popularity of silicone has grown,
UltraSkin—are soft, are very realistic material. That also means it’s the most
some companies have attempted to
looking, and come closest of all sex toy expensive of the soft materials, but it’s
capitalize on it by using lesser grades of
materials to feeling like skin. Although the worth it. It is very resilient, so it will last
silicone, using a small percentage of
formulas vary, thermal plastics tend to be through years of use. It conducts body
silicone, or—worse yet—labeling a toy
slightly stretchy and have the same give heat and vibration better than other soft
silicone that’s not silicone at all. You want
as human flesh. Most thermal plastics do materials, and it’s much easier to clean.
to make sure you purchase toys made of
not contain phthalates, but always check Because it is not porous like other soft
medical-grade or platinum silicone. But
the packaging or ask the retailer to make materials, you can not only clean it, but
unlike other manufacturing industries, the
sure. There are dildos, vibrating dildos, you can also disinfect it in a diluted
sex toy industry is not regulated by any
vibrators, and penis sleeves made of bleach solution (10 parts water to 1 part
government agency, so it’s not held to
thermal plastics. bleach), by boiling it for about 3 minutes,
any specific standards for what goes into
or by putting it in the top rack of the
The unique element of this material is that their products, how they’re made, or
dishwasher without detergent. Because
it comes very close to the feeling of skin. whether they’re safe to use. Manufactur-
these toys can be disinfected, they can
The drawback to these toys is that they ers are not required to disclose what a
be shared by different partners. The only
are hard to clean and maintain. They are toy is made of on its packaging or
drawback is that you cannot use silicone
prone to small nicks, because the elsewhere; furthermore, there is no law
lubricants with them; most silicone lube
material can be quite fragile. Use only against a company printing misleading or
bonds to a silicone toy and ruins it, so
water-based lubes with these toys, incorrect information about what a toy is
stick to water-based lubes.
because oil-based lubes will destroy made of. Still, you can contact toy
them and silicone lubes can melt or manufacturers and inquire about what
degrade the material. Cleaning and
caring for them properly is the key to
maintaining a thermal plastic toy’s pliable
texture and having it last a long time.
Not All Sex Toys Are Created Equal: Your Primer On What They’re Made Of 43
Phthalates Make Toys More
Pliable, but at a Cost
Phthalates are added to polyvinyl chloride (PVC) to make it

more pliable, so they are often found in soft plastic items, such
as toys made for small children, animals, and sexual pleasure.
PVC sex toys containing these chemicals are among the most
inexpensive and widely available on the market. Although their
texture makes them ideal insertables, it turns out that what
makes them enjoyable may also make them toxic. Because
phthalate-spiked PVC is not a stable, inert compound, these
toys continually leach phthalates, which can cause a nasty odor,
a greasy film, and, for many people, genital irritation. In studies
on mice and rats, high levels of phthalates have been linked to
reproductive organ damage, liver damage, and liver cancer;
however, there have been no conclusive studies on human
beings. There’s been enough media coverage about the issue
and dialogue among retailers and consumers that many toy
manufacturers have begun advertising products as “phthalate-
free.” If you’re concerned about what’s in your sex toys, do
some research and ask the store where you’re buying toys
about what materials they are made of.

kind of silicone they use in their toys, Hard Plastic and Acrylic: there are only a few of these toys left
or buy toys made by companies with a Rock-Hard Toys in the marketplace. Like their glass
reputation for top-quality silicone, such counterparts, acrylic dildos, wands,
Some vibrators and anal toys are made of
as Vixen Creations (which offers a lifetime and butt plugs bring beauty and pleasure
hard plastic; unlike thermal plastics or
warranty on its toys), Fun Factory, Tantus together to create works of art that are
rubber-like products, they have no added
Silicone, and Jollies. hypoallergenic, unique, and usually on
material to soften them, so they retain a
the expensive side. Well-made acrylic
Vixen Creations pioneered a special blend firm, solid texture. Hard plastic is easy to
toys should be seamless (seams on a
of silicone called VixSkin, which marries clean, and most toys made of it are less
toy reflect lower quality toys that are
the best of two worlds: the look and feel expensive than those made of other
mass-produced). Their smooth, seamless
similar to materials like CyberSkin with the materials. Some hard plastic is
texture is ideal for penetration, and lube
superior qualities and durability of silicone. nonporous and some is not, so always
clings to them nicely, too.
VixSkin toys look and feel more realistic check with the manufacturer. For people
than other silicone toys because of the who want a firm, inflexible toy without the
way they are fabricated: They have a price tag of glass or metal, hard plastic is
firmer inner core that is surrounded by a a good alternative. However, some hard
softer outer layer that mimics the flexibility plastic toys can be expensive, especially
and softness of real flesh; they are more if they are made of medical grade,
expensive than regular silicone because nontoxic plastic.
they are handmade with a special
Acrylic, or Lucite (which is a brand name
two-step process.
of acrylic), toys are crystal clear and rock
hard; several of the first acrylic toys were
designed with dramatic curves especially
for the G-spot, including one called the
Crystal Wand. Acrylic began to wane in
popularity as glass toys appeared, so
Delight Vibrator
Glass: Like Works of Art,
but More Fun
Glass toys (including dildos, double-
ended dildos, wands, plugs, and the
occasional vibrator) are hard, smooth,
and beautiful. Many people consider
them works of art in addition to being
great sex toys, and many of the designs
are simply stunning. Glass lends itself to
gorgeous color combinations, interesting
textures, and artistic embellishments. If
you like firm pressure during penetration,
G-spot stimulation, and artistic, hand-
crafted toys, then glass may become one
of your favorite sex toy materials.
One of the best things about glass is its

incredible surface; even the best-quality
silicone toy will have some “drag” to it
when you run your fingers along it, but
not glass. People also like it because it
has some weight to it. Glass is seamless
and compatible with all kinds of lubri-
cants. Be sure to buy glass toys from a
reputable manufacturer and confirm that
the toy is made of medical-grade
borosilicate or Pyrex, a brand name that
has become synonymous with heat- and
shock-resistant glass. A properly made
borosilicate toy can withstand up to 3,000
pounds of pressure as well as extreme
heat and cold.

Metal: Smooth, Firm,
and Durable
For folks who like a smooth, firm, solid
toy, metal toys offer a variety of styles as
well as weights. They’re durable, are
nonporous, and conduct hot and cold
temperatures nicely. There are a variety
of metal toys on the market, made of
aluminum or stainless steel, and some
are hollow while others are solid metal.
Like glass, these toys create an
amazingly smooth sensation for
penetration and they hold on to lube well
(all lubes work with them). Also like their
glass counterparts, metal toys—including
dildos, wands, butt plugs, prostate toys,
cock rings, and some vibrators—are
among the most expensive on the
market, but also some of the most
beautifully made. Look for metal toys
made by one of the top companies:
Njoy, Big Teaze, and Tantus Alumina.
Betty’s Vaginal Barbell
ALL ABOUT VIBRATORS
49
Vibrators are the most popular of all sex toys on the
market, and it’s no wonder: When something vibrates
against the sensitive genitals or inside the vagina or
anus, all the nerve endings come alive. To put it in plain
terms: Vibrators feel really good. They can get you in
the mood, turn you on, warm you up, make you hot,
and get you off.
I
cannot tell you how many stories I’ve and traditional vibrators to stimulate the For some women, a vibrator can be a big
heard from women who experienced head of their penis, their balls, or their help in getting them aroused. Do you have
their very first orgasm by using a perineum. Some of the more adventurous a low libido? If so, it can take you a long
vibrator. The truth is that when we begin ones use vibrators for anal stimulation. time to get turned on, and you can get
to masturbate, we’re aren’t experts right frustrated by the process; mentally and
away, and some women find that they Vibrators aren’t just for solo exploration emotionally, your desire is red hot, but
can’t get the exact technique down to either; they’re wonderful for partnered your body can’t catch up. A vibrator can
bring themselves to orgasm. sex. Think of a vibrator as your “extra set be like a shortcut: It helps to get you
of hands” in the bedroom: While you’re relaxed, turned on, and lubricated quicker.
When they try a vibrator, it delivers doing one thing, it can be doing another.
consistent, focused stimulation that may Is one hand working her nipples and the Research shows that the majority of
help them achieve what was once other one stroking her hair? A vibrator can women need clitoral stimulation in order
elusive. Many women use vibrators be rubbing her vulva when you’ve got to have an orgasm; it might be clitoral
during masturbation to get to know their your hands full. Want to spice up oral sex stimulation on its own or combined with
bodies better, discover what kinds of for him? While you’ve got one hand on his penetration, but the clit needs to be in the
stimulation they like, and then pass that shaft and your lips wrapped around him, mix! And we’re not talking about any old
information on to their partners. slip a vibrator up against his balls. Can’t kind of stimulation. There are plenty of
reach to stimulate her clitoris during partners who can use their fingers,
And while it may seem like vibrators are intercourse in a particular position? mouths, tongues or some combination to
just for women, they aren’t! Plenty of men Vibrator to the rescue! bring a woman pleasure, but many
enjoy using vibrating sleeves or pumps
women need prolonged, targeted

stimulation on their clitoris in order to to decide what you’d like your vibrator to innocuous looking: small, discreet gad-
orgasm. Let’s face it: People can run out do. Do you want it for external clitoral gets most people wouldn’t look twice at.
of steam. Their jaws get sore, their necks stimulation only, penetration, or one that Some vibrators are like works of art, with
begin to cramp, and their fingers start to can do both? What about a vibrator that’s sleek modern shapes, top-of-the-line
slow down—but a vibrator just keeps on designed for simultaneous penetration materials, and satin-lined cases.
going! And a vibrator can deliver a kind of and clitoral stimulation? Once you’ve
stimulation no human can, stimulation decided about its function, then you can You should consider all the elements
that’s consistent and powerful—the move on to what you want it to look like. discussed in chapter 3, including size,
perfect combination of speed, pressure, There are insertable vibrators created to cost, and brand and review the different
motion, intensity, and rhythm. look as close to a human penis as materials covered in chapter 4. Most
possible, with different skin tones, veins, vibrators are made of rubber, PVC, elasto-
circumcised heads, and sometimes balls. mer, TPR, hard plastic, silicone, or some
How to Choose a Vibe That There are others that have a realistic
Works for You penis-like shape, but come in playful
There is such a wide variety of vibrators colors like pink, red, green, or purple.
on the market that browsing at your local Others are designed to resemble
sex shop or online can sometimes be something familiar like a tube of lipstick
overwhelming. The best place to start is or a cute animal. Some are completely
combination. In addition, vibrators are like a small appliance running. If you • Wearable and hands-free vibrators:
motorized, so they have some specific have roommates, thin walls, nosy unique shapes that you can strap on,
features to consider. First, what’s your neighbors, or children, you may want to sit on, or slip inside during intercourse
speed? Some vibrators have one speed choose a vibrator on the quieter end of
• Insertable vibrators: phallic and
(it’s on or it’s off); others have a choice of the spectrum. Finally, not all vibrators are
curved, battery-powered or
two or three speeds. Some have dials waterproof. Those that are will clearly
rechargeable, designed for
that let you gradually increase or state this feature on the package or in the
penetration and G-spot stimulation
decrease speed, and others have a range description; waterproof vibrators are easy
from gentle to knock-your-socks-off. As a to clean (because they can be sub- • Dual-action vibrators: battery-powered
general rule, battery-powered vibrators merged in water) and are great for people or rechargeable, designed for
have less intense vibration than their who like to play in the shower, bath, hot simultaneous penetration and clitoral
plug-in counterparts, and the more tub, or pool. stimulation; this group includes
batteries, the stronger the intensity. “rabbit” vibes
Electric vibrators are considered at the top To give you a better sense of what’s
of the heap for their power, but you need available, in the next six chapters, we’ll • Smart vibrators: next generation
to have an outlet nearby to use them! review the different kinds of vibrators, of toys that feature advanced
along with their features, how to use them, technology, varied features, and
In addition to the power and speed of the and some tips for incorporating them into top-quality design and materials
vibration, many vibrators offer different solo and partnered sex. They include:
types of vibration. For example, vibes like • Vibrating cock rings, sleeves, and
the Form 6 by Jimmyjane and the SaSi • Compact clitoral vibrators: small, pumps for men will be featured in
offer different modes, which range in discreet, battery-powered or later chapters.
motion from fluttering to undulating to rechargeable, designed for external
kneading—each of which produces a clitoral stimulation, low to moderate
different sensation. These are the next vibration; good for beginners, easy
generation of vibrators that go beyond a to travel with
one-size-fits-all model and attempt to give
• Plug-in clitoral vibrators: larger,
you a customized experience.
plug-in, designed for external clitoral
You may also need to consider how loud stimulation, moderate to intense
a vibrator is, because they range from the vibration; unmatched power for those
whisper quiet kind to the type that sounds who want strong vibration
OhMiBod and Naughtibod

Making a Match:
Tips for Buying Your First Vibrator
Like other “firsts,” buying your first vibrator is a big deal!

Reading about all the different kinds of vibrators is a
good step toward discovering what’s out there. Next, try
to gather information and advice from some real people.
You can ask your friends about their preferences, visit a
quality sex shop with knowledgeable salespeople, attend
an in-home sex toy party, or read customer reviews of
products on sex toy websites. Look for a vibrator with
multiple speeds, so you can have options. I recommend
choosing one with low to moderate vibration to start out.
If you find you need more power, you can always
upgrade. But, if you start out with something as powerful
as the Hitachi Magic Wand, it may simply be too intense
and may turn you off of the vibrator experience. It’s best
to select something inexpensive in case you don’t end
up loving it. Save the high-priced luxury vibrators for
when you’re sure of what you like.
Women’s How To: labia and your vaginal opening. Avoid the • Keep your underwear on while you
Using a Clitoral Vibrator clitoris at first as you give your body a use the vibrator, so the fabric will
chance to rev up. Gradually increase the slightly mute the vibration.
They may come with batteries or a stylish
speed if you want to (and if that’s an
carrying case, but most vibrators don’t • Put a washcloth between your vulva
option). When you’re ready, move it to
come with instructions! You’ll find specific and the vibrator; fold it once or twice
one side of your clitoral hood. You want
tips in subsequent chapters about using depending on how much you want to
to approach the clitoris indirectly in the
different types of vibrators, but let’s start decrease the intensity.
beginning to give yourself a chance to
with some basics that apply to all clitoral
get used to the stimulation. Try each side • Place your fingers or hand (or those
vibrators. Before you turn it on, you may
of the hood, then try the vibrator directly of your partner) between you and the
want to warm yourself up with your own
on top of the hood—the hood, not the vibrator; this can diffuse the vibration.
hand or a partner’s hand or mouth. In
glans itself. Most women find that a
fact, some women like lots of foreplay
vibrator on top of or to one side of the Once you’ve gotten used to it, you can
before a vibrator enters the picture at all
clitoral hood is plenty stimulating; experiment with different speeds, varying
because they need to be really aroused.
however, some women like it when you amounts of pressure, and different
If they aren’t warmed up, the stimulation
actually pull back the clitoral hood and vibration modes if your vibrator has them.
feels way too intense and doesn’t feel
expose the clitoral glans for direct Some people like to move the vibe
pleasurable. Some people like to have
stimulation. Some women like to do this against them, while others prefer to hold
lots of play, including some intercourse,
occasionally or only when they are very, it still and let the vibration itself be the
before reaching for their favorite vibrator.
very turned on. Try it and see how it feels only motion. Whether you are alone or
For others, the vibrator is a surefire
for you, and be sure to tell your partner with a partner, explore different positions
method to warm up—it’s the key to
your preference. to find the best ones for you.
lighting their erotic fire.
If you find the slowest speed of your
Whatever your preference, always begin
vibrator too intense even for indirect
on a slow speed at first. Be sure to dab
stimulation, here are a few tricks to
some lubricant on the side that comes in
decrease the intensity:
contact with your body. Start by placing
the vibrator against your inner and outer
Bullets, eggs,
and Bunnies:
Compact Clitoral Vibrators Create a Buzz
59
Compact clitoral vibrators are designed for external use Bullets and Eggs:
A First-Timer’s Delight
against the vulva and clitoris. (They can also be used
Small and portable, bullet-shaped and
on nipples, balls, penises, and perineums.) Although egg-shaped vibrators are widely available
they can be used to stimulate the vaginal opening, you and among the most popular for first-time
users. They are usually made of hard
should not attempt to use them for penetration. Most of plastic and are relatively inexpensive ($10
them are compact and discreet, making them ideal for to $30). The number and type of batteries
that power these tiny vibes varies from
use during intercourse. All of these clitoral vibrators are one watch battery to two or three AA
battery-powered or rechargeable and range from the batteries. As a general rule, the more
batteries, the greater the intensity. Most
size of a double A battery to slighter larger than a egg vibrators are attached with a wire to a
computer mouse. separate unit that houses the batteries
and features a dial or buttons to control
the speed. Some units come with two
eggs, so you and your partner can each
use one at the same time. Bullet vibes
tend to be all-in-one, with one small
battery inside the bullet; you turn it on
and off and control the speed by twisting
a dial on the cap. There are also sleeves
sold separately that fit over egg and
bullet vibrators; a particular favorite is the
bunny, which extends the surface area of
the vibrator, conducting the vibration from
the body of the rabbit all the way to the
ears, which flutter furiously. You’ll like
these kinds of vibrators if you’re a
newcomer to the world of vibration, you
like low to moderate intensity, or you’re
shy about using a vibrator.

Can I Get Addicted to My Vibrator?
This is one of the most common questions I get asked, and it’s something
a lot of people are concerned about. First, people worry that once they
learn to reach orgasm with a vibrator and get used to it, they’ll never be
able to go back to the old days: They won’t be able to come with their
hands, their lover’s fingers, or oral sex. Not true! Sure, you can definitely
grow accustomed to climaxing with the help of a vibrator, just as you can
get used to coming in a certain position. If this concerns you, then simply
switch it up from time to time, and practice having an orgasm in many
different ways so you don’t get hung up on just one. Second, people
think that vibrators can desensitize, numb, or damage the clitoris—which
is also untrue. Can you overdo it? Of course. Just like with lots of other
things, moderation is best. If you use your vibrator for hours of multiple
orgasms, your clitoris may feel overly sensitive, worn out, sore, or even
numb. Don’t worry, the feeling isn’t permanent. Give your body a break
and a chance to recover, and it will be back to itself in no time.
Bullets, Eggs, And Bunnies: Compact Clitoral Vibrators Create A Buzz 61

Tristan’s Top Pick: Bullet
Fingertip Vibes: Give Your
The Onyé by Big Teaze Toys is a stainless steel and
Digits a Helping Hand
silicone bullet that’s compact, quiet, and simply
stunning. Like Goldilocks, if you’ve been searching Because many women first learn to
for a vibrator that’s more intense than other bullets stimulate their clitoris with their hands,
but not too intense, you may find that the Onyé is just it seems fitting that there’s a style of
right! Remember, though, that luxury comes with a vibrator created to give your fingers a
price: This is one of the most expensive bullets on the helping hand! Although plenty of women
market ($55 to $65). say that fingers (their own or their
partner’s) can produce the perfect
stimulation, why not add a little buzz to
those already award-worthy techniques?
Made of hard plastic and rubber or
silicone, fingertip vibes slide right over
the fingertip like a ring and feature a small
on/off switch on one side (and are usually
under $30). They’re great if you are
looking to intensify your finger’s power or
take over when your digits need a break.
This kind of vibe works equally well for
solo or partnered adventures and is
extremely quiet. They are good for
beginners because the speed is low
to moderate.

You’re Worth the Splurge: Luxury
Compact Clitoral Vibrator
Imagine that a bullet vibrator were stretched out to be more than

5 inches (13 cm) long and had no separate control unit, and
you’ve got the Little Something vibrator made by luxury
manufacturer/retailer Jimmyjane. It’s got the perks of the best
compact vibes: It’s waterproof, is whisper quiet, and runs on
one battery. And, of course, it’s small and discreet enough to
leave out on the nightstand, throw in your purse, or travel with.
But here’s what makes it luxury: It’s available in 24K gold or
platinum ($325 to $3,250)!

Pocket Rocket: Discreet
Design, Powerful Buzz
Band-Aid is such a well-known brand that
it has become synonymous with adhesive
bandages. Similarly, the Pocket Rocket is
thought of not just as a brand name but
also as a particular style of compact
vibrator. About the size of a lipstick, only
slightly taller, it is made of hard plastic
and runs on one double A battery, which
sits in the lower two-thirds of the vibrator.
You twist the base to turn it on and off
(and to open it to replace the battery).
It has a rounded top with several metal
nubs on it; this texture feels really good
against the vulva and clitoris. Some
pocket rocket vibes are also sold with
plastic caps with different bumps and
ridges, and most are under $30. Leaving
the cap on can not only change the top’s
texture but also slightly mute the intensity
of the vibration. This kind of vibrator looks
completely innocuous to your spying
roommate or the TSA inspector at the
airport. There is only one speed, but it’s
more powerful than many of the other
vibrators in this chapter. There is also
a mini version (which is about half the
size) and a waterproof version called
the Water Dancer.
Pocket Rocket

Perfect Pairing: Finger Vibe or Disguised Vibes: They May
Pocket Rocket + Cowgirl Position Look Innocent But . . .
In the Cowgirl position, he lays on his
Lots of different kinds of vibrators fit into
back with his legs together, and she sits
this category, but they all have one thing
on top and faces him. She can control
in common: They’re disguised as
the angle, depth, and rhythm of the
something else. Some disguised vibes
penetration, and he can lie back and let
are very small, making them easy to slip
her take charge. Not only does he have a
into a purse, take on a weekend getaway,
wonderful view of her body and the
or use during intercourse with a partner.
penetration action, but he also has easy
The Lipstick Vibrator ($30) is the perfect
access to her clitoris. Whether he slips on
choice for a girl on the go who likes to be
a finger vibe or grabs a pocket rocket, he
discreet; it looks exactly like an
can hold the vibrator against her clitoris
indispensable makeup tool—a perfect
as she moves on top of him. If she wants
disguise if it falls out of your handbag
more pressure against her clitoris, she
onto a stranger’s lap at the coffee shop!
can lean forward toward him. If she wants
There’s also a vibe that looks like a pen
less intense vibration but there is only
and one whose case looks like a roll of
one speed option on the vibrator, he can
hard candy. For those of you who like
put his finger (or she can put her own
their vibes to be as cute as they are
finger) between her clitoris and the
reliable, look for one of the many small
vibrator. This will decrease the intensity of
vibrators that resemble cuddly animals
the stimulation.
such as bunnies, ducks, bears, and
beavers; these are usually made of
rubber and contain an egg or bullet
vibrator within the body of the animal.
The Honey Bear

You’re Worth the Splurge:
Luxury Ergonomic
Clitoral Vibrators
Solo Play for Her: Ergonomic Vibes Hug Your
Honey Bear by Vibratex Curves in All the Right Places
The Pebble (available at Myla, $165)
Don’t be deceived by its adorable Imagine a sleek, streamlined computer
is a hard plastic vibrator designed by
appearance: The Honey Bear ($20) mouse that has been modified to mimic
Japanese sculptural ceramicist
means business and makes a great toy the curves of a woman’s pelvic area.
Mari-Ruth Oda. Its shape is truly
for masturbation. Lying on your back, That’s the general aesthetic of ergonomic
unique: It resembles a large rock
place the well-lubed bear against your vibrators, which are made of hard plastic
with ergonomic indents meant to fit
vulva with its head and paws below the or hard plastic covered in silicone. For
perfectly against a woman’s vulva and
clitoris and turn it on at the lowest speed. women looking for a vibrator that does
clitoris. It’s rechargeable and a perfect
Let it vibrate against your inner labia and not remotely resemble either a penis or
gift for the nature girl in your life.
vaginal opening to begin the arousal an animal or one whose form is as cool
Lelo is a luxury toy maker based in process; avoid direct stimulation of your as its function, ergonomic vibes provide
Sweden that produces some of the clitoris in the beginning. As you feel a great sense of style along with solid
most stunning toy designs on the yourself start to get more turned on, performance. These vibrators are
market. The Yva ($1,500) is an gradually inch the bear up until the paws designed to hug a woman’s curves, so
18K-gold-plated compact vibe that is are on either side of the clitoral hood and they are great for both solo and partner
quiet, rechargeable, and beautifully the bear’s head is directly on top of the play. If you like a fast tongue against your
packaged. hood. Experiment with changing the clitoris or quick but gentle fingers rubbing
speed of the vibration and see how your it, then an ergonomic vibrator is a good
body responds. Also try applying different choice for you. Some of the most popular
amount of pressure against the vibrator to in this category are:
see what works best for you. Think about
what types of oral or manual stimulation • Superbe by Natural Contours ($20 to
you like to determine how to use the $25): one of the first ergonomic styles
vibrator to suit you best. For example, if on the market; compact vibrator
you like a light flick of the tongue against features three different speeds and
your clitoris, you want to apply light a discreet look
pressure. If you prefer to rub your clit
hard, try pressing the vibrator firmly
against you.

Tristan’s Top Picks
Bullet: Pipedream Luv Touch Bullet

• Laya Spot by Fun Factory ($40 to Vibe ($20 to $25)
$50): a silicone powerhouse with a
perfect shape and a good speed Fingertip: Fukuoku 9000 ($25 to $30)
range from low to high
Pocket rocket: Water Dancer by
• Nea by Lelo ($85 to $95): a gorgeous, Vibratex ($20 to $30)
expensive design masterpiece with
moderate vibration that’s rechargeable Disguise: Incognito Lipstick Vibrator by
Topco Grrl Toyz ($25 to $30)
Perfect Pairing: Laya Spot +
Ergonomic: Laya Spot by Fun Factory
Missionary L Position
($40 to $50)
In Missionary L position, she lies on her
back and he kneels between her legs. He
raises her legs so they are perpendicular
to her body and one ankle rests on each
of his shoulders. This position is different
from traditional Missionary in two
important ways: It allows for deeper
penetration and it gives both of you more
access to her clitoris. She can slide an
ergonomic vibrator in between her legs
and hold it there as he thrusts in and out
of her. The vibrator’s compact design
means it won’t get in the way of his
Laya Spot
thrusting and she can easily adjust
the speed.

power up:
Clitoral Vibrators Boost the Buzz
71
When they were first invented and prescribed for Hitachi Magic Wand: A Best
Seller, but Not for Newbies
women to cure various kinds of ailments, all vibrators
The Hitachi Magic Wand ($50 to $60)
were electric. Today, the majority of vibrators are first hit store shelves in the 1970s, when
battery-powered, but electric vibrators remain very physicians began recommending it as
a muscle massager. Soon after, women
popular for one important reason: their power. If you discovered it worked well as a clitoral
find that battery-powered vibrators don’t offer a strong vibrator, and it’s been a runaway success
ever since. A best-selling vibrator at toy
enough sensation, fast enough vibration, or intense stores all over the country, the Magic
enough experience, then you may want to consider an Wand is considered to be the cream of
the crop of plug-in, wand-style vibrators.
electric vibrator. These plug-in wonders just cannot It is the most powerful vibrator on the
be beat when it comes to intensity. Electric vibrators market today, and thousands of women
swear there simply is nothing like their
come in several different styles, including wand style Magic Wand. The Hitachi Magic Wand
(both plug in and rechargeable), coil-powered, and has a body the size of a paper towel roll
(just the roll, without the paper towels)
oscillating. All the vibrators in this chapter are used and a flexible, cushiony plastic head the
for external clitoral stimulation only. size of a tennis ball (although the head is
not completely round; it’s more similar to
the shape of a marshmallow).

When I worked at sex-positive store
Babeland in New York, women used to
come in and ask for the Hitachi Magic
Wand by name, often because a friend of
theirs raved about it. I asked them about
their experience level, because the
Hitachi is not necessarily the best choice
for a first vibrator. Even its lower speed is
quite intense, and it may simply be too
intense for some women, especially
newcomers to the world of clitoral
vibrators. If you’re not quite sure yet what
kind of vibrator you want, you may want
to try something with batteries first.
Power Up: Clitoral Vibrators Boost The Buzz 73

The Magic Wand has two speeds, low the previous chapter, you can still use it Perfect Pairing: Hitachi Magic
and high, and both are strong, fast, and during intercourse in most, but not all, Wand + Spoon Position
intense. To use this kind of vibrator, hold positions. To use it in Missionary position, In Spoon position, she lies on her side
onto the body and press the head against have him sit up between your legs rather and he lies behind her and enters her
your clit. Because of its size, the head than lie down on top of you. Either one of from behind. She can also swing one leg
can cover a lot of surface area. If you like you can hold the vibrator in this position. over his leg to give him better access to
the feeling of vibration against your vulva, You’ll have plenty of room for the vibrator her vagina and anus. This position gives
then press the head so that it covers both in all the woman-on-top positions, partners a lot of skin-to-skin contact and
the clitoral hood and the inner labia. If including Cowgirl and Reverse Cowgirl. closeness, although no face-to-face
you want the vibration to be concentrated You can hold the vibrator yourself in communication or eye contact. It also
on your clit, you can hold the vibrator so Doggie Style and its variations. Because of does not allow for deep or powerful
that the edge of the head sits on top of its large head and strong vibration, often thrusting, making it an ideal position for a
the clitoral hood. If you prefer a specific your partner will be able to feel the man with a long penis or a woman who
side of your clitoris, hold the vibrator’s vibration against his shaft or balls in many likes more shallow penetration. Spoon
head against that side. positions, which is an added bonus. position works very well with vaginal or
anal intercourse and the Hitachi Magic
If you find that the vibration is just too The Magic Wand was designed for
Wand, because the vibrator won’t get in
intense for you, see my tips for decreas- external clitoral stimulation, but some
the way of his thrusting. Her vulva and
ing the intensity on page 57. Although its folks wish that they could harness all that
clitoris are completely accessible, and
imposing size may intimidate some power and intensity in an insertable toy.
she can move the vibrator around to find
people, don’t be fooled; even though it’s The Gee Whiz by Vixen Creations ($50) is
the perfect spot for it. This position also
much larger than the compact vibrators in a silicone attachment that fits nicely over
works well because she does not have to
the head of the Magic Wand and
hold herself up in any way, since many
transforms it into a G-spot vibrator.
women like to hold the Magic Wand with
both hands.

75
Unplug with Wand-Style vibrator ($60) has a similar look except vibrator; plus, with the Acuvibe, you don’t
Rechargeables that the head is smooth and soft and the have to fuss with cords or plugging it in.
wand part is bent, which some people find Wrap your hand around the vibrator and
For people who like the style of the Magic
easier to grip and maneuver. If you find the hold it so that it’s parallel with your torso.
Wand but don’t want to bother with
other styles too bulky, you may prefer the Press the head either above the clitoral
extension cords or always having an
Ideal. After 4 hours of charging time, it can hood (for less direct, intense stimulation)
outlet nearby, there are several wand-
last for up to an hour and a half. or directly over the hood (for more
style rechargeable vibrators. Although
intense stimulation). As he thrusts, use
these kinds of vibrators are pretty
your other hand for balance. If this gets to
powerful, you will sacrifice some intensity Perfect Pairing:
be too difficult, try putting your head and
for convenience. The Acuvibe ($75 to Acuvibe + Doggie-Style Position
shoulders down so that you’re leaning on
$80) resembles the Magic Wand most In Doggie-Style position, she gets on her
top of the vibrator; this way, you won’t get
closely, and it is also the most powerful of hands and knees and he enters her from
tired from trying to balance and hold the
the rechargeable wands. It has a flexible, behind. Because this position is rear-
vibrator at the same time.
soft head that is about 2 inches (5 cm) entry, there is plenty of room for a larger
wide, providing plenty of surface area;
the vibration is concentrated in the head,
rather than spread throughout the entire
massager. When fully charged, it works
for about 45 minutes. The Wahl 2-Speed
Rechargeable Massager ($30 to $40) also
looks a lot like the Magic Wand except its
flexible, cushiony head is surrounded by
a ring of raised bumps, adding texture to
the vibration; if you like pressure against
your clitoris during masturbation or you
prefer textured, nubby toys, then you’ll
like the Wahl. It needs to be charged for
45 minutes, and will hold a charge for
about a half hour. Natural Contours’ Ideal

77
Wahl 7-in-1: Quiet, Eroscillator: An Entirely The Eroscillator is sold in different
but Powerful Different Experience packages: The basic Eroscillator 2 comes
with three different heads, or you can buy
It may look like a vibrator from decades If you’re looking for the power of a plug-in
one of several deluxe versions that come
ago, and some say it resembles a vibrator but want a gentler motion against
with up to seven different heads. Each
handheld electric mixer, but don’t let its your clitoris, you can try the Eroscillator
head has a different shape and texture.
less-than-stylish appearance fool you! ($130 to $250). The Eroscillator is an
Another major difference to consider: The
The Wahl 7-in-1 coil vibrator ($40) is a entirely unique vibrator; it looks and
attachment heads for the Eroscillator are
versatile, powerful toy. Like the Hitachi works differently than any other electric
much smaller (about the size of a quarter)
Magic Wand, the Wahl was originally vibe. Most electric vibrators contain a
than the heads of electric wand vibrators.
introduced as a “personal massager” for rotational motor; when you turn them on,
So, if you like a large head with plenty of
sore muscles, but quickly developed a the motor moves rapidly in a circle, which
surface area, the Eroscillator probably
following of women who discovered it creates the vibration, and it usually
won’t meet your needs.
worked a lot better between their legs. vibrates either the entire toy or
Whereas most vibrators have a motor that concentrates vibration in the head or tip
produces their vibration, the Wahl 7-in-1 of it. This design creates a steady,
features an electromagnetic coil that the powerful kind of pounding motion, which
tip of the vibrator vibrates against at works for many women, but doesn’t for
about 60 times per second. The coil others. In the Eroscillator, the motor
means that this is one of the quietest oscillates—moves back and forth very
vibes on the market and definitely the quickly (about 3,600 oscillations per
quietest of all plug-ins, so if you have minute)—instead of rotates, and the
roommates, nosy neighbors, or thin attachment is connected directly to the
walls, then you may want to consider it. motor; all of this creates a different kind
This toy features two speeds and some of of motion than other vibrators. Think
the fastest vibration of any vibrator; many about how you prefer oral sex: Do you
women say that it provides more focused like your partner to move his tongue back
stimulation than the Magic Wand. If you and forth quickly or do you like a circular
find that the Magic Wand feels too motion? If you like the back-and-forth
powerful or seems like it’s going to numb motion or if you’ve tried electric vibrators
your clit rather than make it sing, try the in the past and found the vibration to be
Wahl. It comes with seven different too “thuddy” or overwhelming, then you
attachments—each with a different shape may prefer an oscillating vibrator like the
and texture. Eroscillator.
Power Up: Clitoral Vibrators Boost The Buzz 79

Perfect Pairing: Eroscillator +
Lap Dance Position
In the Lap Dance position, he sits in a
chair with his legs together and she
straddles him with her legs apart facing
away from him. Pick a simple chair rather
than an overstuffed one with large arms,
and make sure your feet can touch the
ground. The woman is firmly in charge of
this position and can take control of the
angle of penetration, the depth, the
speed, and the overall rhythm. She can
use her legs and feet for leverage and
also push off his thighs with her hands.
He can reach around and hold the
Eroscillator’s head against her clitoris as
she rides him.

81
Look ma, no hands:
Wearable Vibrators
83
As you cup his balls and run your nails up and down Wearable Clitoral Vibes
his chest, he plays with your inner labia and rolls your Wearable vibrators ($20 to $50) do just
what their name indicates: They are small
nipples around between his fingers, suddenly, the vibrators attached to elastic straps that fit
dilemma is clear: Who’s going to hold the vibrator? When around your hips and thighs, so you can
actually wear the vibrator. Most of them
using a vibrator during partnered sex, it’s often true that are designed to resemble something in
you don’t have an extra hand to spare. Wearable and nature, such as dolphins, flowers, or
butterflies. If you like positions where you
hands-free vibrators are a great solution to this problem! are facing each other with lots of
These vibrators—some for external clitoral stimulation, skin-to-skin contact—such as Missionary,
Straddle, and Missionary CAT—they often
others for both external and internal stimulation—free leave little room for a vibrator or even
your hand to slip between your legs.
up your hands to do other things while working their
Wearable vibes are great to use during
vibrating magic on your most sensitive parts. intercourse in these positions. To use
this kind of vibe, step into the straps like
a pair of panties, then pull it up and
position the vibrator so that it’s right
where you want it. Tighten and adjust the
straps so they feel snug against you.
Wearable vibrators are designed with

intercourse in mind, so none of the straps place, meaning you have to reach down
should be blocking your vagina or anus. and hold the vibe where you want
Once it feels good, you’re free to play it—thus defeating its primary purpose
with his hair, hold his face, tweak his of being hands-free!
nipples, and wrap your arms around him.
If you like the idea of a hands-free
Keep in mind that there are a few experience, but don’t want to use the vibe
downsides to wearable vibes. No matter for intercourse, then consider trying a
which brand you get, universally, the pair of vibrating panties. Vibrating panties
vibration tends to be low to medium. are fun little items that come in a variety
Remember, these are small and battery- of different fabrics and styles, from satin
powered, and you sacrifice power for the and crotchless to latex or lacy. The panty
convenience and novelty of a hands-free usually has a built-in pocket or pouch to
experience. One of the biggest com- hold a removable vibrator. They may not
plaints I heard from women while working work for intercourse, but they are great
at Babeland was that the vibration was for masturbation or to wear out on a date
just too weak to really get them going. where no one knows you have them on.
But that won’t be a problem for you if you If you pick vibrating panties with a remote
already use a battery-powered vibe and it control, your partner can carry the
works fine for you. Another issue is that remote while you are at the mercy of
they aren’t always well made; the straps his button pushing.
often stretch out and don’t always stay in
Look Ma, No Hands: Wearable Vibrators 85

Perfect Pairing: Dolphin Vibe +
Yab-Yum Position
Yab-Yum is a classic Tantric sex position
where one partner sits in the other
partner’s lap and they face each other.
The woman should strap on the Dolphin
wearable vibrator ($35 to $40) before they
get into the position. The man sits with
his legs loosely crossed and the woman
sits in his lap and wraps her legs around
his waist and torso. He can use firm
pillows under his thighs if he needs more
support for his legs. If it’s not comfortable
for him to keep his legs crossed, then he
can stretch them out in front of him. If he
needs back support, he can lean against
the wall or headboard. As she gets into
his lap, she can rise up slightly on her
knees, and he can hold the base of his
penis to assist her, and she can slowly
come down onto it. This is meant to be a
relaxing, meditative position, so once
you’re in it, you shouldn’t feel any tension
or strain. If you do, adjust yourselves so
that you can comfortably sink into the
position. Look into each other’s eyes, and
take advantage of the closeness this
position affords you. Because there is so
much skin-to-skin contact, there isn’t a lot
of room for a vibrator or even to slip a
hand between her legs to stimulate her

87
clitoris. The Dolphin vibe is perfect for
Yab-Yum: It can nestle against her clit,
buzzing quietly, as you experience slow,
rocking, gentle thrusting.
Hands-Free Insertable
Vibes
The original and best product in this
category is the We-Vibe ($130), a silicone,
rechargeable, waterproof vibrator that
delivers simultaneous clitoral and G-spot
stimulation. The We-Vibe is U-shaped and
resembles a soft pair of tongs with one
slimmer end and one wider end. One of
the great things about the We-Vibe is that
it’s so slim that you can wear it during
intercourse, and it doesn’t get in the way
of penetration; in fact, it was designed to
be used during penetration. Slide the
slimmer end inside the vagina and as you
do so, the wider end hugs the entire
vulva. With every thrust of your partner’s
fingers, dildo, or penis, the internal
portion rubs and vibrates right against the
G-spot, while the wider, external end
vibrates against the clitoris. Because it’s

so slim, most men don’t feel like it’s in the easily achieve hands-free clitoral stim-
way during intercourse, although they do ulation in this position. Begin with her
feel the vibration—which is a good thing!
in a traditional Doggie-Style position and
Although it was designed for hands-free you kneeling behind her. Slide the
external and internal pleasure during well-lubricated slimmer end of the
intercourse, women can also wear the We-Vibe inside her vagina; press your
We-Vibe for hands-free masturbation as hand against the wider side that rests
well. Versatile and flexible, it’s a great against her clitoris to give her some
vibrator for men, too! Try putting it around added pressure to the vibration. Slide a
the base of his penis and closing the two finger inside her vagina and press against
ends together. Or turn it around and let it the vibrator. When she’s ready, slowly
cradle (and stimulate) his balls. You can enter her from behind; she can part her
also rub it against the sensitive frenulum legs or tip her hips slightly up toward you
on the underside of the penis. to make the initial insertion easier. Once
you’re inside her, lean all the way forward
so that you’re lying on top of her. Unlike
Perfect Pairing: We-Vibe +
Doggie Style, you can’t do a lot of deep
Horizontal Tailgate Position
or powerful thrusting in Horizontal
In Horizontal Tailgate position, she lies on
Tailgate; instead, aim to make small
her stomach with her legs together, and
rocking movements and take advantage
he lies almost completely on top of her.
of the closeness this position affords you
This is a very intimate position; it’s got
to kiss the back of her neck, whisper in
many of the pros of Doggie Style with
her ear, and stroke her hair. As you move
more skin-to-skin contact and closeness.
inside her, the We-Vibe vibrates both
However, one of the challenges of
internally and externally, working her
Horizontal Tailgate is that it’s quite difficult
G-spot and clitoris at the same time.
for either of you to reach and stimulate
This one is definitely a recipe for
her clitoris when she’s lying on her
multiple orgasms!
stomach. With the We-Vibe, you can

Hands-Free Clitoral Vibes For example, the Tuyo by Big Teaze Toys gift for someone, but actually it’s become
($65 to $75) is a round vibrator the size of quite a phenomenon, and plenty of
Sometimes, it’s all about the rub. By
a grapefruit with a diameter of about 3 women swear by this waterproof vibrator.
which I mean, instead of taking a vibe
inches (7.5 cm); it’s made of stainless If you’re interested in finding one of the
and rubbing it against your body, some
steel, phthalate-free plastics, and silicone. most innocuous-looking sex toys on the
women would prefer to rub their clitoris
This sleek, modern toy challenges the market, if you like to use a vibrator in the
against something with a lot of surface
notion that vibrators have to be phallic. bath or shower, or if you’re looking for
area. Others like the idea of a vibrator that
The on/off switch is cleverly integrated moderate vibration and surface area in an
you don’t have to hold with your hands
into the design, so there are no protrud- adorable package, the I Rub My Duckie
because they have more important things
ing buttons; it has three speeds and five may be right up your alley.
to do with their hands! Large round,
different vibration modes, which offer
cylindrical, or mostly round vibrators are
different kinds of pulsation. Women can The Cone Stands Alone
perfect when you want to hold and
use it in a number of ways by themselves The Cone ($130) is a vibrator unlike any
squeeze something between your legs.
or with a partner. Squeeze it between other. When you first see it, it looks
your legs, with the bottom half (where the strange. Yes, it’s cone-shaped, as its
vibration is concentrated) against your name suggests, but it’s a short, wide
vulva. Lie on your stomach and slip it cone the size of a cantaloupe. It’s made
underneath you. Lie on your back, hold it of silicone, runs on three C batteries, and
between your legs, and have your partner is designed for hands-free pleasure.
straddle it so his balls rub against it as it There are two buttons on one side of the
vibrates against you. base of the Cone, which offer sixteen
different options to change the speed,
Big Teaze also makes a toy called I Rub
type, and intensity of vibration. Because
My Duckie ($25); it looks exactly like the
it has a flat bottom, it can sit on a level
wholesome rubber ducky you find in
surface and will stay put. It has endless
bathtubs across America, except it has a
possibilities when it comes to self-
secret: It vibrates! It comes in two sizes
pleasure. You can hold it between your
and several different colors. On the
legs and feel it vibrate against your vulva.
surface, it may seem to be a funny gag

You can sit on it, with the pointed tip just
inside your vagina or anus. You can lie on
your stomach with it just underneath you.
You can also use the Cone for partnered
sex. Begin on all fours in Doggie-Style
position with the Cone just underneath
you, then move down until your vulva is
resting against it; as your partner thrusts
into you, he will push your body against
the toy. In Spooning position, he can
penetrate your anus while you hold the
Cone between your legs with the pointed
end inside your vagina. If he enjoys anal
stimulation, he can sit on the Cone, then
you can sit in his lap facing him in
Yab-Yum position or facing away from him
in Sitting Reverse Cowgirl. If you run out
of ideas for using it, don’t worry: it comes
with a series of illustrations depicting
women and men enjoying the Cone in all
sorts of ways!

Work Your WaY in
With insertable
Vibrators
95
Insertable vibrators are designed especially for Slimline Style: The
penetration. They range in length (they can be as short Workhorse of Vibrators
The slimline is one of the classic, most
as 4 inches [10 cm], but most tend to be about 7 to 8 recognizable styles of vibrator; it’s one of
inches [18 to 20 cm]) and girth and come in a variety of the most abundant on the market and
tends to be fairly inexpensive, making it
materials, textures, and styles. They are either battery- good for beginners and people looking
powered or rechargeable. Most are phallic-shaped, but for an economical choice (about $15 to
$25). Smooth and phallic, it looks like an
not all of them are designed to look like penises. If you oversized and elongated lipstick top and
like penetration while you masturbate or are looking is about 7 to 8 inches (18 to 20 cm) long.
You turn the cap on the base of the toy to
for a penetration toy that you can use with your partner, turn it on and adjust the speed, and
here are some of the most popular types of insertable unscrew the cap to replace the batteries.
Slimline vibrators are usually made of
vibrators. hard plastic or hard plastic covered in
soft PVC and usually come in solid colors
with the occasional animal or floral print;
even those covered in soft PVC have a
solid core, so these tend to be either rock
hard or extremely firm. Either way, these
toys are straight up and down and not
flexible, and that can be a turn-off to
some women who are looking for
something curved or more flexible; some
women find them uncomfortable for
penetration because they’re just too firm
(read the end of this chapter for an
alternative use for them).

Some of the less expensive vibes in this Silicone Phallic Vibes: ripples, bumps, and textures on them;
category are made of soft PVC or rubber, High Quality and Durable some are designed to look like sea
resemble a circumcised penis, and are creatures or signs of the Zodiac. If you
If you like the shape of the slimline, but
softer and more flexible than the hard like the design of the Fun Factory vibes
want a vibrator made of higher quality
plastic slimline. They have a similar but find them too big, the company also
material with different textures and
control mechanism as the slimline style: makes “mini” versions of its phallic vibes
designs, then consider a silicone phallic
You turn the cap to control the speed. ($60 to $65), which are about 4 inches
vibe. Many of these vibrators are
Many elements of the slimline put it (10 cm) long. Like the slimline, these toys
battery-operated, and some are
comfortably in the middle of several don’t have a flared base, so they’re best
rechargeable. German-based company
spectrums: It’s not the quietest, nor the for vaginal penetration only.
Fun Factory makes the best line of
loudest, of vibrators, but somewhere in
silicone insertable vibrators—including
between, and it delivers a medium
favorites like Intensity ($160), Patchy Paul
intensity of vibration. Because the slimline
G2 ($70), and Gigolo ($70)—that are
does not have a flared base, you should
about 7 inches (18 cm) long and vary in
only use it vaginally—never use it for anal
width. Because they’re silicone, they are
penetration. The slimline does not
durable, easy to clean, and warm to body
promise high-tech features, a stunning
temperature; plus, silicone conducts
design and aesthetic, or something
vibration well, making it an ideal material
unique; however, it’s a solid workhorse of
for vibrators. A few Fun Factory vibes
a vibrator, and personally, I always have
vaguely resemble penises, but most
one handy in my toy box!
feature a phallic shape with different
Slimline Vibe
Work Your Way In With Insertable Vibrators 97

Perfect Pairing: Fun Factory
Phantasy + Missionary Position
This is a great activity when you want to
try out any new insertable vibrator or
when she’s ready for another round of
penetration but your penis is done for the
night. In Missionary position, the woman
lies on her back and her partner sits up
between her legs. Coat the Phantasy
($160) in her favorite lube, turn it on to
the lowest setting, then tease her labia
and vaginal opening with the tip of it.
Take advantage of all the access you
have to her body in this position: Kiss
her, play with her hair, rub her nipples
between your fingers, and stroke her
inner thighs. Continue to tease her with
the dildo just at her opening until she
can’t stand it anymore and she has to
beg you to penetrate her. When she
does, slide it inside only an inch (2.5 cm)
to continue to build her anticipation. With
your other hand, guide her hand down
between her legs and ask her to touch
herself—the combination of penetration
and clitoral stimulation will feel amazing.
Slide the vibrator in deeper and turn up
the speed as you begin to establish a
rhythm. In. Out. In. Out. Try out the
different vibration modes and see
which one she likes best.

G-Spotters: Curved Heads down the toy is a wider ring with textured
Make the Vibe nubs on it; when you slide it inside you,
the nubs stimulate your clitoris in the front
Some insertable vibrators are designed
and the outside of your anus in the back.
specifically for G-spot stimulation, and
So if you’re looking for a G-spot vibe
you can tell because they have
that’s flexible and provides additional
distinctively curved heads (as opposed to
external stimulation, it’s a good bet. The
the straight style of slimline or phallic),
staff of one of the first women-run sex
and some have balls on the end of them;
shops, Good Vibrations, designed their
the curve is meant to aim directly for that
own line of vibrators, and two of them are
sensitive spot on the front wall of the
all about the G-spot. The G Twist ($65) is
vagina. Most vibrators in this style are
a silicone curved vibe that has a ridged
made of hard plastic, softer PVC, TPR, or
texture all along its shaft and one
silicone. The firmness of a G-spotter
exaggerated ridge near the bottom to
vibrator is part of what makes it work,
stimulate the clitoris when it’s inside you.
because the G-spot responds well to
The G Swirl ($65) is also silicone and has
hard toys and deliberate pressure during
a shape similar to the Nubby G without
penetration. If you want something firm,
the nubs on the wider ring portion;
smooth, and slim for penetration, try the
because of the wide ring, both these toys
Orchid G from Babeland ($22) or the
can be used vaginally and anally.
Satin G by California Exotic Novelties
($15), which are both made of hard
plastic and produce a moderate amount
of vibration. Babeland’s Nubby G ($25),
made of pliable thermoplastic rubber, is
shaped like a hooked finger. Halfway Orchid G

How to Find the G-Spot inside 1 to 1½ inches (2.5 to 4 cm) and Alternate Uses: They’re
The urethra is surrounded by the urethral aim toward the front wall of the vagina. If Not Just Insertable!
sponge (also known as the G-spot), you stroke the area, you should be able Most people assume that when they see
which is made of spongy erectile tissue to locate the G-spot. Compared to the a phallic-shaped vibrator that it’s meant
that contains paraurethral glands and smoother tissue of the inside of the for penetration. While all the vibrators and
ducts. You can feel the G-spot through vagina, the G-spot will have a different styles covered in this chapter are
the front wall of the vagina, about 1 to 2 texture: It will feel wrinkled or ridged. One insertable—and many are designed
inches (2.5 to 5 cm) inside the vaginal of the best techniques to use with your specifically for penetration and G-spot
opening. Like the clitoris, the G-spot is fingers is a “come here” motion. With stimulation—they all have another
not just an isolated spot of sensitivity, but your fingers inside your partner and function as well: You can use any of them
part of a network of nerves, muscles, and against the front wall of the vagina, move as clitoral vibrators. That’s right! Don’t be
tissue. When a woman is turned on, the your fingers toward you and down slightly fooled by the label “insertable”; many of
glands within the urethral sponge fill with as if you’re saying “come here.” It’s these vibrators work just as well for
fluid, causing the sponge to swell; as it almost like you are trying to pull the spot clitoral stimulation. In fact, because most
becomes more pronounced, it’s easier to out of her. Be sure to warm her up with of them are about 7 inches (18 cm) long
find and more sensitive to stimulation. your fingers before using a toy.
and 1¼ to 2 inches (3 to 5 cm) in
The more turned on a woman is, the diameter, they have plenty of surface area
Once you’ve found her spot and she’s
easier it will be to find her G-spot. So, to cover the clitoris and surrounding parts
turned on, lube up the G-spot vibrator
before you go hunting for it and of the vulva. Simply hold the vibrator
and slide it inside her. Remember, the
especially before you start stimulating it, parallel to your torso and press the
G-spot is only an inch or two (2.5 to 5
make sure you warm her up. bottom half of it against your clitoris.
cm) inside, so you don’t have to go all
the way in to reach it. You want to aim the How’s that for a versatile toy?!
To find the G-spot, it’s best to start with
your fingers, because our sense of touch curved head of the vibrator at her G-spot.
is keen and connected right back to the Some women like to have the toy
brain. Make sure your fingernails are pressed against the G-spot with only a
clean, short, and well filed before you little bit of movement while the vibration
begin any penetration with them. If you’re does most of the stimulation. Others like
not sure about your nails, slip on a latex an in-and-out motion and can feel the
or nonlatex glove to transform your head of the vibrator hit the G-spot as the
fingers into smooth tools. Slide a finger toy slides in, then out again.
Work Your Way In With Insertable Vibrators 101

Twice as Nice:
Dual-Action Vibrators
103
For many women, the Rabbit Style Hits the vibrator can have various features.
Two Spots In addition to vibrating, some shafts are
key to intense pleasure bendable, so you can change not only
The basic concept behind the rabbit-style
and orgasm is the perfect dual-action vibrator is to combine an the speed of the vibration but also the
angle of its orbit. Some shafts have a ring
combination of penetration insertable vibrator with a clitoral vibrator
of beads at the bottom that rotate; the
into one toy and give each vibrating part
and clitoral stimulation separate controls. I call this kind of toy ring is meant to stimulate the vaginal
opening, which is the most sensitive
delivered at the same “rabbit style” because the Rabbit Pearl
part of the vagina.
($80 to $90) is the most well-known toy in
time. Makers of dual- this category, made famous by Samantha
The clitoral attachment also varies from
action vibrators know in Sex and the City. The designs of these
toy to toy. You can choose an animal,
toys are pretty universal: a phallic-shaped
which will deliver a light fluttering motion
this and have created shaft with a clitoral attachment that often
against your clitoris, usually with its ears,
resembles a cute little animal.
toys meant to excite all of paws, or antennae. Or, if you like more
pressure against your clit, pick a toy
her most sensitive spots There are more than a hundred rabbit-
style vibrators on the market from dozens with a more solid (usually nonanimal)
simultaneously. Are you a of different manufacturers, and they all attachment—think more like an oval
bullet—so you have something firmer to
woman who likes to have have subtle design differences as well as
rub against. Keep in mind that depending
varied features. The control and battery
your cake and eat it, too? unit is either at the base of the shaft or it’s on the design, the clitoral attachment
may sit away from the clitoris or may not
If you ultimately want the a separate unit attached by a wire; some
hug your clitoris close enough once the
people like the convenience of having
best of both worlds when it everything in one unit, whereas others toy is inside you; simply take your hand
and hold it against you.
comes to toys that vibrate, find it easier to adjust the controls when
they are separate from the vibrator.
Vibratex, which manufacturers its toys in
then a dual-action vibrator Rabbit-style vibrators can be made of
Japan, is considered the leader in
is the right choice for you. rubber, jelly rubber, PVC, elastomer, TPR,
dual-action vibes, and you’ll find several
or silicone. The silicone dual-action
of their styles on my list of Top Picks for
vibrators are the most resilient and
Rabbit-Style Vibes.
easiest to clean. The insertable part of

Tristan’s Top Picks for
Rabbit-Style Vibes
If You Want . . .
A gentle fluttering motion on

your clit: Butterfly by Vibratex ($95)
A rotating ring of beads in the shaft:

Rabbit Habit by Vibratex ($80 to $90)
Something nice and big:

Twice as Titan by Vibratex ($150)
Inexpensive but high quality:

Thumbelina by Vibratex ($40 to $50)
Triple action (vaginal, clitoral, and

anal): Dr. Ava’s Trigasm by Doc
Johnson ($100 to $140)
A textured shaft with a curve for

G-spot stimulation: Paul & Paulina by
Fun Factory ($75 to $80)
Rotating shaft without the clit

attachment: Beehive at Early to
Bed ($40)
Smooth, streamlined, and to the

point: Wilma at Early to Bed ($28)
Twice As Nice: Dual-Action Vibrators 105

Why Does My Vibrator
Have a Face on It?
The dual-action vibrator design originated in Japan, where

it happens to be illegal to make anatomically correct sex
toys. So, in order to skirt the law and still make a phallic-
shaped toy, designers transformed what looks like the
ridge of a circumcised penis head into a person’s head
with a face on the front and a thick head of hair on top.
Then, they made the clitoral attachments into cute little
animals. Although companies in different parts of the world
have copied the design, Japan still has a reputation for
making some of the best-quality vibrators; if your vibrator
has a face on it, chances are it’s from Japan.

Curved for Double Action Vibratex makes a toy with a similar design able vibrator with an elegant design and
called the Snuggle Puss ($35 to $45), controls built into it that light up. Hold
It used to be that rabbit-style vibes were
although its surface is more textured with on to the ergonomic curvy handle, slide
the only ones that delivered simultaneous
bumps throughout, and it’s designed so the hooked silicone end inside your
penetration and clitoral stimulation, but
you can wear it for hands-free fun. vagina for great G-spot stimulation,
there is a new group of multitaskers on
Speaking of a good time, Fun Factory and the middle of the S vibrates against
the market that have joined the party.
makes a toy called Delight ($130), a your clitoris.
These are very different in shape from the
silicone and plastic S-shaped, recharge-
phallic rabbit style; they tend to be curvy
U and S shapes. The first is the Rock
Chick ($60 to $70), a silicone U-shaped,
battery-powered vibrator made by British
company Rocks Off Ltd. The smooth part
of the Rock Chick goes inside your
vagina, and its exaggerated curve targets
the sensitive G-spot, while the ridged end
hugs your clitoris and vulva. Rather than
using the toy like a traditional dildo with a
straight in-and-out motion, you make a
much shallower rocking motion with the
Rock Chick. As you do, the toy stimulates
the G-spot and the clitoris at the same time.
Delight Vibe
Twice As Nice: Dual-Action Vibrators 107

Perfect Pairing: Delight Vibe +
Inverted Spider Position
To get into this position, she begins by
lying on her back and he kneels between
her legs. She raises her legs up and he
pulls her ankles toward his shoulders.
Then, she lifts her pelvis up and off the
bed so that she’s supporting her weight
on her upper back and shoulders. If this
is too uncomfortable for her, try using a
Liberator Shape (see page 188) to
achieve the right angle and get some
support under her body. Once she’s in
position, lube the end of the Delight and
tease her with it. Slide it inside her slowly,
and once it’s inside, have her adjust the
vibration. With the easy-to-use handle,
you can move the toy in and out of her,
massaging the G-spot each time you do.
The Inverted Spider position allows
partners to face each other for optimal
communication and eye contact. He has
a perfect view of her entire body, which is
at an ideal angle for G-spot stimulation,
plus he can maneuver the vibrator easily
because of its shape. She can also take a
turn holding the toy, while he supports
her body and enjoys the show. All the
blood rushes to her head in this position,
which may intensify sensations and
orgasms for some women.

HigH-TecH aNd
Luxury VibraTors:
Smart and Sassy
111
Whether it’s how we communicate with each other, Smart Vibrator: The SaSi
get our entertainment, or do our jobs, technology plays SaSi ($185) is the first vibrator of its kind,
made by London-based company Je
a big role in our lives. So it’s only fitting that technology Joue and distributed exclusively in the
also plays a role in our sex lives. The makers of the United States by Babeland. It has a sleek
design that hugs a woman’s body, it’s
vibrators in this chapter use technology in creative ways made of medical-grade silicone, and it’s
that put them on the cutting edge of sex toy design. environmentally friendly because it’s
rechargeable. At first glance, SaSi looks
These are the next generation of vibrators, and we’re like another high-end, top-quality,
going to see more like them in the future. They do ergonomically designed clitoral vibrator.
It is, but it’s also more. Instead of simply
things other vibrators (or sex toys) cannot, making them having the surface of the toy vibrate
against the body, a small ball underneath
“smarter” than typical vibrators. These toys are perfect
the soft silicone surface moves as it
for gadget lovers, high-tech geeks, and folks who want vibrates. It has five different vibration
options, which combine vibration and
the latest, hottest new thing. As you might expect, their
movement to create a different sensation
price tag usually reflects their high-tech qualities, but than your typical vibrator—it’s more like a
gentle, but deliberate, kneading
ultimately you’re worth it!
sensation that also vibrates. Like to have
your clit rubbed up one side of the hood
and down the other? There’s a mode for

that. What about back and forth in a more
concentrated space? There’s a mode for
that. It’s this combination of movement
and vibration that sets it apart from typical
vibrators. Women who find the basic
vibrator too intense, too much like a
jackhammer, or not subtle enough to
move against their body the way they like
should definitely try the SaSi. If you love
cunnilingus and wish a vibrator could
better simulate the sensations of oral sex,
SaSi is it. Here’s the best part: It actually
learns what you like. In Favorites mode,
you choose from five different vibration
modes. In Customize mode, it switches
automatically from one vibration mode to
the next. If you don’t like one, you hit
skip; if you love one, you hit another
button; the SaSi remembers what you
liked and will customize the modes it
goes through the next time you use it.
High-Tech and Luxury Vibrators: Smart and Sassy 113

Perfect Pairing: SaSi + Upright
Missionary Position
In Upright Missionary position, she lies on
her back, he sits up on his knees and
positions himself between her legs, and
she bends her knees. In this position, he
can caress and squeeze her breasts or
even pinch her nipples if she likes it; both
partners can easily reach and stimulate
her clitoris with the SaSi vibrator. He has
a good view of the action in this position,
because he can watch his penis go in
and out of her. She can look at him as he
penetrates her and stroke his chest and
nipples. This can be an alternative to
Missionary if she wants his weight off of
her; it’s also good for partners of very
different heights or weights. For a woman
who wishes she could combine oral sex
with intercourse, this is your recipe!

MP3- and Cell Phone-Compatible The same company makes vibrators that Remote-controlled vibrators are fun to
Vibes: Bring Your Gadgets into work with your cell phone. The Boditalk play with at home, where your partner
the Bedroom ($70) and Boditalk Escort ($60) are can tease you, taunt you, and bring you
Sex and music are natural companions: activated when someone who’s nearby to the edge of orgasm with the touch of a
The right music can really get you in a calls your cell phone. The call triggers the button. If you like to be teased or told you
good frame of mind, set a seductive vibration, which continues for as long as can’t come just yet, this vibrator is for
mood, and enhance the erotic experience. you talk—perfect for those folks who like you. These vibes are also great for
OhMiBod was the first company to to have phone sex, want to do something couples who want to go out in public with
develop a vibrator that’s compatible with naughty in public, and love gadgets. a secret. Imagine sitting down at a nice
MP3 players like iPods. You connect the restaurant, going to the theater, or
OhMiBod vibrator ($70) to your iPod, and hanging out at a party while one of you
Wireless Vibrators Offer
it pulses to the rhythm of the music. has a vibrator under her clothes and the
Remote-Controlled Action
When the vibration is tuned to the beat of other one has his finger on the button! It’s
For couples who like to play games, there
the music, it produces a very unique a great way to make dinner with the
are remote-controlled vibrators. Imagine if
experience. For music lovers and those neighbors more interesting, bring some
you tucked an egg vibrator discreetly in
who can’t live without their iPods, this toy spice to the movie theater, or add a sexy
your panties, held it between your legs so
is a must-have. Although it’s designed for layer to a party that only the two of you
it was right up against your clitoris, or slid
use with a portable MP3 player, you can know about.
it inside your vagina. Now think about
actually hook it up to lots of different what it would be like if you couldn’t
electronics, including laptops, stereos, control the vibrator, but your partner held
portable CD players, microphones, and the controls and you were at his mercy!
even electric guitars (bringing a whole That’s right, he can turn it (and you) on
new meaning to “intense jam session”). and off, and change the speed and
vibration mode whenever he wants. Your
The original OhMiBod is a hard plastic,
job: Take as much as he can dish out.
bullet-shaped vibrator that’s 5½ inches
(13.75 cm) long and made for clitoral
stimulation or vaginal penetration. The
company makes several other designs,
including the Naughtibod ($70), which has
a velvety texture and a rippled shape—a
definite upgrade on the original.
OhMiBod and Naughtybod

117
Luxury Vibrators Combine The Liv ($109) is 6½ inches (16.25 cm) The Form 6 is curved at both ends with
Superior Quality and long (with 4½ inches [11.25 cm] making three buttons in the middle, designed so
Technology, Plus Marketing up the insertable portion) and has a very that you can use either end of the vibrator
subtle curve. If you’ve found that for penetration or for external clitoral
What makes a vibrator luxurious?
insertable vibrators are too big or G-spot stimulation. It has a body-conscious
Superior design, top-quality materials,
vibes with an exaggerated curve aren’t ergonomic design, and works better as
advanced technology, and a hefty price
comfortable for you, the Liv may be a an external vibrator than an insertable
tag all contribute to luxury vibes being in
perfect fit. It also has pretty strong one. However, one of the cool features of
a class by themselves. Let’s face it, it’s
vibration and works just as well as an the Form 6 is that if you insert the smaller
also about marketing. Just like it’s
external clitoral vibrator. The Gigi ($109) end inside the vagina, the outer portion
sometimes hard to distinguish a pair of
is similar in design but thicker and has a sits right against the vulva and clitoris,
$30 jeans from a pair of $200 jeans, part
firm raised end to target the G-spot. Both making it a dual-action insertable vibrator.
of it is branding and marketing—you’re
toys have five different vibration modes: a It has six vibration modes: One is a
paying for the name. Two of the top
constant vibration, three pulsing constant, even vibration; three are
luxury toy companies are Lelo and
vibrations (slow, medium, and fast wavelike, where the vibration builds up,
Jimmyjane.
intervals), and “before and after” mode, then down; and two are pulsing, with
Lelo is a Swedish company that makes where the vibration builds to a strong pulses at different speeds. Each end has
vibrators and other toys that are gor- surge, then backs off, then builds again, a separate motor, so in each mode, the
geously designed and packaged. Their etc. You can control both the mode and small end and larger end vibrate in
vibrators are very well made and the speed, offering many possibilities. slightly different ways.
especially quiet (I recommended their
The Form 6 ($185) by high-end retailer
compact ergonomic clitoral vibrator Nea
Jimmyjane is also silicone with metal and
in chapter 6). Two of their most popular
plastic trim; it’s waterproof and recharge-
toys are the insertable vibes Liv and Gigi.
able (it holds a charge for up to 2 hours).
Both are made of medical-grade silicone
and hard plastic, and they are recharge-
able; they stay charged for about an hour.
Form 6

Web-Enabled Vibrators Take
Cybersex to a New Level
Whether you’re in a long-distance relationship or just like

to have fun with your computer, the Internet is a place
where we often connect with our partners through instant
messages, email, chatting, and Web cams. People
already have cybersex online, so why not have cybersex
while you play with a Web-enabled vibrator? Web-enabled
vibrators are vibrators that can be connected to one
computer and controlled by someone online from his or
her computer. HighJoy.com and Doc Johnson teamed up
to create an egg vibrator, a rabbit vibe, and a penis sleeve
that are Internet-ready ($60, $85, $70). For them to work,
you must subscribe to HighJoy’s website, where your
encounters have to take place. Basically, an image of the
toy’s control appears on the screen, you move the
controls with your mouse, and the toy at the other end
responds.

Pleasure for Him:
Penis Sleeves and Pumps
123
Penis sleeves and pumps are among the most popular Penis Sleeves Give Him
masturbation toys for men. Just like for women, a Helping Hand
Sleeves are made of jelly rubber, PVC,
masturbation is an important part of a man’s sex life.
elastomer, thermal plastics (with
It’s a chance for him to connect with his body, explore trademarked names like CyberSkin and
Real Feel Super Skin), or silicone and
his sexual desires and fantasies, try new things, and
come in a variety of styles. Most sleeves
get better acquainted with his likes and dislikes. have some kind of texture on the inside,
Masturbation is not just for single men or men who are both to stimulate sensitive parts of the
penis and to simulate intercourse. Some
away from their partners! Regardless of your sexual sleeves have a simple, tubular design
activity, all men should take time out of their busy lives with a hole at both ends, while others
have openings designed to look like a
to masturbate, and penis sleeves and pumps are a great mouth, a vagina, or an anus. Some
way to experience new sensations or spice up your sleeves are molded from the genitals of
adult film stars.
self-pleasure routine. If you want to learn to prolong
Sleeves come in one size and tend to be
intercourse, using a penis sleeve is a great way to
quite stretchy to accommodate many
practice how to control and delay ejaculation. Some different-sized penises. If you’re looking
for an especially snug fit, some compa-
men use penis pumps not just for masturbation, but to
nies make “extra tight” versions. All
help them achieve an erection or get a stronger one. sleeves feature a textured interior with
nubs, bumps, ridges, tendrils, or nodules.
Some are contoured to feel like the walls
of a vagina. Some have ridges or tight
rings at the opening to simulate the
opening of a vagina or an anus. Some

penis sleeves can be inexpensive, but information on the Fleshlight). You can
buyer beware: Those made of inferior also wedge a sleeve between the
materials and construction can tear mattress and box spring of your bed for
easily, rendering the toy useless. Do your hands-free thrusting; this works best if the
research, read toy reviews on websites, height of your bed allows you to stand or
and ask a salesperson for a recommen- kneel comfortably when you do it. Some
dation. sleeves have vibrators attached to them
for extra stimulation; you can also use
Before using a sleeve, put it into a bowl of any vibrator at the end of a sleeve.
very warm or hot water. This will warm the
toy and make it feel more like skin. Shake Although they are more difficult to find,
the excess water out, then pour your there are also penis sleeves that are
favorite lube into the opening and coat designed for a man to slip over his penis
your penis with lube as well. (Remember and wear during intercourse. The sleeve
never to use silicone lubes with silicone adds both length and girth to his penis,
or thermal plastic sleeves.) Lube is an has a texture to stimulate his partner’s
important component for sleeves to work vagina, and often vibrates. One of the
well. The idea is straightforward: You best in this category is the Vibrating O
slide your penis into the sleeve, and the Sleeve available at Babeland.
material grips it snuggly. As you move the
sleeve up and down, the texture and To maintain a sleeve’s texture and make it
tightness of the sleeve stimulates the last, it’s important to clean and dry the
penis, a sensation similar to having sleeve thoroughly right after you use it.
intercourse. You can also hold the sleeve Some sleeves can be cleaned with mild
still and move in and out of the sleeve; soap and water or a sex toy cleaner, while
this technique works best with a sleeve others can only be cleaned with water.
like the Fleshlight, which is housed in a Follow instructions on the package.
hard case (see page 126 for more
Pleasure For Him: Penis Sleeves And Pumps 125

The Fleshlight: Rave
Reviews All Around
The Fleshlight ($60) is the top penis
sleeve on the market, a unique product
that garners rave reviews from men
everywhere. A guy once told me that
using a Fleshlight was better than sex
with a condom, it felt that great! Unlike
other sleeves, this sleeve sits in a plastic
casing (which looks like a giant flashlight,
hence the name). Because it’s in a case,
it creates an amazing suction sensation.
Plus, you can turn the cap on the end to
increase or decrease the amount of
suction. You can also remove the cap
altogether and stick a small vibrator in
the hole on the end to vibrate against the
head of the penis. It’s made of a patented
phthalate-free plastic called Real Feel
Super Skin that has an extremely realistic
fleshlike texture.
You can remove the sleeve itself for

cleaning, and the manufacturer recom-
mends that you only clean it with warm
water (no soap), shake out the excess
water, and let it dry. After it dries, you
must dust it with cornstarch—only
cornstarch, never baby powder or talc.
This helps it maintain its unique texture.
If you don’t dust it, it will become
extremely sticky and tacky and
impossible to use.

Rabbit Style Hits Two Spots 127
Penis Pumps Won’t get an erection; to help them get a have an erection. An advanced pump has
Change His Size but stronger erection; or to get an erection a cylinder connected to tubing that’s
Will Make Him Hard that lasts longer. Regardless of some connected to a pistol-grip pump; the
marketing claims, penis pumps cannot pump has a pressure gauge on it and a
Penis pumps have a cylinder and an air
and will not make your penis bigger. quick release tab. Some say these are
pump; once you create a vacuum seal,
Some men do say that after long-term safer because you can see how much
you force air out of the cylinder with the
use, the shaft of the penis is better you are pumping on the gauge; you can
pump. That draws blood into the penis,
defined (just as other muscles in the also note the exact number on the gauge
sparking the engorgement process and
body become more well defined after to remember for next time. The quick
giving a man an erection. Men use penis
working out). If you have diabetes, release tab means it is more convenient
pumps for a variety of reasons: they
circulatory problems, certain types of because you don’t have to hold your
enjoy the suction sensation; to help them
erectile dysfunction, cancer, or another finger or hand over a hole, since your
serious medical condition, consult a hand can slip in the process.
physician before using a penis pump.
Some penis pumps have vibrators
There are essentially two different kinds attached to them for extra stimulation
of pumps, which I call the basic pump during the pumping process. Some have
($20 to $50) and the advanced pump attachments you can put on the opening
($60 to $140); the cylinders in either kind that are made of a softer material (such
are made of plastic or thin acrylic. A basic as jelly rubber, silicone, or thermal
pump is a cylinder connected to a tube plastic); the soft attachment sits around
with a soft oval-shaped hand-squeeze the base of your penis and makes it more
pump on the end. Basic pumps tend to comfortable and pleasurable for some,
be less expensive than advanced pumps, kind of like combining a penis sleeve and
and they’re a good place to start if you’ve a pump into one toy.
never bought a pump before and are not
sure whether you’ll like it. These pumps To use a penis pump, rub lube around
usually have a hole on top or the side that the flared opening of the cylinder and on
you have to cover while you pump and the base of your penis; the idea is to
uncover to release the pressure once you create a vacuum seal. If you’re having
The Hugger

trouble creating a tight seal, you may
need more lube or you may need to trim
or shave your pubic hair. Put the cylinder
over your penis. If there is a hole in the
top or on one side, cover it with your
finger or hand. With the hand pump, give
it one or two pumps and see how it feels.
If you have extra skin or the skin of your
scrotal sac is loose, it can get sucked into
the cylinder, which some people like. If
you want to avoid that, hold your sac
away from the cylinder as you pump. Go
slowly and never pump to the point that it
hurts. You should also never pump for
more than 15 minutes. Once you have an
erection, stop pumping and leave the Vibrator for Him: The Hugger
cylinder on for a few minutes; this will
continue the engorgement process.
The Hugger ($20) is a vibrator designed especially for
Release the air from the cylinder by
penis stimulation. It’s basically a bullet-shaped vibrator
removing your hand from the hole or using
with a cup attachment that resembles an upside-down
a quick release valve, if the pump has one.
tulip. The cup hugs the head, and the petals vibrate
Pumping while in the shower or bath is against it, delivering vibration to the most sensitive
fun, because the genital tissue is warm part of the penis.
and can expand easier, but make sure
you have a waterproof, bath-safe pump.
You can also pump right after a hot
shower or bath. Some men like to put on
a cock ring after pumping to maintain the
effects; you can read more about cock
rings in the next chapter.
Pleasure For Him: Penis Sleeves And Pumps 129

All You EvEr WAntEd
to KnoW About CoCK
rings
131
A cock ring is a ring of material that a man wears Soft Nonadjustable Cock
around the base of his penis and scrotal sac; it stops Rings: Inexpensive but
Hard to Fit
blood from moving away from the penis to make The most basic of all cock rings are the
orgasm more intense. Men use cock rings for many smooth continuous O-rings that look like
small bracelets ($6 to $30). They can be
different reasons: made of rubber, nitrile, or silicone and
come in a variety of different diameters.
• To create the sensation that something is They are inexpensive (silicone being the
holding onto the penis and balls priciest in this category), are easy to find,
and will get the job done. If you are trying
a cock ring for the first time, not sure
• To help maintain a stronger, firmer erection
what it’s all about, and don’t want to
spend a bunch of money, then a
• To keep an erection for a longer continuous ring is a good place to start.
period of time The biggest drawback of the basic cock
ring is that it’s one size and not very
adjustable. Some men find that it
• To make the penis more sensitive
becomes uncomfortable after a while
to all kinds of stimulation because it’s not the perfect size and
there’s no way to change it but to take it
• To prolong intercourse off. The rubber and silicone have some
give to them. Silicone rings are better
quality, last longer, and are easy to clean.
• To delay ejaculation
Nitrile rings are slightly more flexible, and
nitrile is a safe, latex-free alternative for
those men or their partners who are
sensitive or allergic to latex.

Given this drawback, the most important These rings are designed for partnered slide your entire shaft through the ring.
element of a nonadjustable cock ring is sex and the ridges are meant to rub Follow this up with a nice hand job, blow
the fit. It’s best to measure yourself while against a woman’s clitoris during job (or another kind of stimulation that
hard to determine which size ring will intercourse in certain positions. Once you gets you going), and feel the ring start to
work for you. Take a soft tape measure have it on, move the textured part to the tighten as your erection grows. It should
(or a string that you can later put against top so that it’s facing up toward you. In feel noticeably tight but never like it’s
a regular ruler) and measure the distance general, they work best with face-to-face cutting off all circulation. Never wear a
around the cock and balls (at the base, positions where you have close contact, cock ring for more than 15 or 20 minutes.
behind the scrotum). Divide this number such as Missionary, Cowgirl, and Yab-Yum.
by 3.1. For example, if you measure 4.5
inches (11.25 cm), then you want a cock Before you put on a nonadjustable ring,
ring with a 1½-inch (3.75-cm) diameter. If lube up both your penis and your balls to
you come up with an odd number, always make getting the ring on smoother and
get the bigger size. Don’t try to eyeball easier. A cock ring is easier to put on
this one; ask the store clerk, or if you’re when you’re semi-hard, so warm yourself
shopping online, reputable websites will up a bit or ask your partner to, then step
note the diameter of the ring in the back and put the ring on. If you’re hairy,
product description. be mindful that the ring can easily catch
on your pubic hair and be careful. The
Jelly rubber rings usually have the most best way to do it is to hold the ring just in
stretch to them. In general, the stretchier front of your balls. First slip the skin of the
the ring, the easier it is to put on and fit scrotum through the ring. Next, slip one
properly. Some of these types of cock ball, then the other, through the ring, then
rings have ridges or bumps on one side. push the head of your penis down and
All You Ever Wanted To Know About Cock Rings 133

Adjustable Cock Rings: Vibrating Cock Rings: If you want to give or get the best of both
Easier to Use, Better Fit Something for Him and Her worlds, check out the double vibrator
cock rings, which have a vibrating bullet
Adjustable cock rings are easier to put Vibrating cock rings ($7 to $25) come in
on each end. With the Twin Rabbit Cock
on, adjust, and fit. They can be made of several different designs and work
Ring vibe ($25), you can wear it with one
leather, neoprene, or rubber and usually especially well during vaginal intercourse.
vibrator on top and the other on the
have Velcro or snaps ($10 to $25). Some vibrating rings have a vibrator built
bottom to stimulate her clitoris and her
Neoprene is a synthetic rubber that’s in, such as the silicone and rechargeable
perineum. Or face the rabbits toward
extremely resilient, can be used with Bo by Tantus ($75 to $80). Most have a
you for vibration against your shaft
all kinds of lube, and is easy to clean. sheath or strap on top that houses a mini
and scrotum.
These rings are easier to put on than bullet vibrator. When you put one on, you
their nonadjustable counterparts, should make sure the vibrator sits on top
because you simply wrap the strip facing you, so that as you penetrate her Perfect Pairing: Iconic Ring +
around the base of the penis and balls, vagina, the vibrator stimulates the tops of Horizontal Missionary Position
then snap or Velcro it closed. Men find the base of your penis as well as her In Horizontal Missionary position, she lies
that they can put them on when they are clitoris. Like the cock rings with textured on her back and he kneels between her
soft or semi-hard and adjust the tight- nubs, vibrating rings work best in legs. As he penetrates her vagina, he
ness as their erection grows. positions where you have close contact. leans forward until he is lying completely
Some women find that using a vibrating on top of her. He can even kick his legs
cock ring in positions that offer a lot of out behind him so that their bodies are
thrusting is just frustrating because one completely parallel. A position like this is
second the vibrator is against their clitoris intimate and encourages intense pelvic
and the next second it’s gone. Positions rocking during penetration rather than
like Horizontal Missionary, Coital frenzied thrusting. Because their pelvises
Alignment Technique (CAT), Cowgirl stay so connected, this is a perfect
(where she grinds against you), and position for a vibrating cock ring. The
Yab-Yum—which emphasize penetration Iconic Ring by Jimmyjane ($36) is a
with a rocking motion that keeps your high-quality elastomer cock ring with a
bodies connected rather than traditional small but powerful vibrator on top. The
in-and-out thrusting—work much better. elastomer makes the ring stretchy and
Alone or with a partner, you can also turn
the vibrator around so it sits at the bottom
and vibrates against the scrotum.
Iconic Ring

comfortable for him to put on and wear.
The vibrator is encased in a textured
sleeve with nubs that will feel great
rubbing against her clitoris.
Metal cock rings look really cool but have

no give to them whatsoever, so you need
to be sure about the proper size before
playing with one. My suggestion is to Advanced Cock Rings: Size Matters
experiment with rubber rings to find the
best diameter for you, then buy a metal
Metal cock rings look really cool but have no give to
ring. You can find a wide selection of
them whatsoever, so you need to be sure about the
cock rings with lots of bells and whistles
proper size before playing with one. My suggestion is to
at stores that cater to BDSM players and
experiment with rubber rings to find the best diameter for
fetish enthusiasts. If you find that you
you, then buy a metal ring. You can find a wide selection
really enjoy cock rings, you may want to
of cock rings with lots of bells and whistles at stores that
see some of the more advanced and
cater to BDSM players and fetish enthusiasts. If you find
elaborate designs, including double cock
that you really enjoy cock rings, you may want to see
rings (where one ring goes over your
some of the more advanced and elaborate designs,
shaft and the other over your balls),
including double cock rings (where one ring goes over
locking cock rings, rings with leashes (for
your shaft and the other over your balls), locking cock
bondage and role-play), and designer
rings, rings with leashes (for bondage and role-play),
cock rings made of stainless steel and
and designer cock rings made of stainless steel and
even bronze.
even bronze.
All You Ever Wanted To Know About Cock Rings 135

Delicious DilDos anD
WonDerful WanDs
137
Dildos and wands are insertable toys designed for
penetration that don’t vibrate. They come in a variety
of materials, including rubber, softened PVC, vinyl, TPR,
silicone, acrylic, glass, metal, and wood. They vary in
length and width and can be as modest as the size of
a finger or as grand as a tall soda can.
S
ome dildos are made to look like dildo in front of their partners is a big Or perhaps your partner’s penis feels
penises, while others are simply turn-on. Guys, pay attention! By watching really good, but you crave more length or
phallic in shape. Wands tend to her closely, you could learn something width, or both. Sometimes our bodies
have phallic, curvy, and creative shapes. about what turns her on and how she aren’t always a perfect fit. After preg-
Most dildos of soft materials were made likes to be penetrated; you can use this nancy, some women find their vaginas
to be compatible with dildo harnesses, so information later to your advantage and feel looser or crave something bigger to
you can use them with your hand or strap practice her penetration techniques with fill them. Women should never feel bad
them on if you wish. Wands are for your penis. about their changing bodies; embrace
handheld use. the change, ladies. Whether your body
Many couples like to play with a dildo has changed or not, obviously, a desire for
A common question I get asked is, “If before intercourse as a way to warm up something longer or thicker is a delicate,
there’s a penis in the room, why would for more penetration. If your partner is tricky subject to bring up. Many men are
you need or want a dildo?” Dildos are not well endowed or you find intercourse sensitive about the size of their penis or
meant to substitute for the penis, they are painful or difficult at times, using a dildo they worry they aren’t big enough. Don’t
meant to complement the penis! Plenty of that’s about one size down from your make it about comparison or competition.
couples use dildos for all kinds of sex partner’s penis is a good way to get your It’s not about one being better than the
play. Some women like to put on a show, vagina or ass open and ready for other: You simply want both!
and being able to do themselves with a something bigger.

Maybe your partner often comes before around his penis. Guys, remember: Choosing a Dildo:
you, but you want to keep going. Or A dildo may not be part of your body, Tips for Success
perhaps when his penis is done for the but when it’s on the end of your hand,
If you recall from chapter 4, there are
night, you’re just getting started. Using a you’re still the one who’s going to get
many different materials for dildos:
dildo is one way for men to keep up with the credit for showing your girl a great
their multiorgasmic partners without time. And take it from me: She will have
• Rubber, softened PVC: soft and
taking Viagra. Some women love to have a great time.
pliable texture, inexpensive, many
their G-spots stimulated and have
Don’t forget that dildos aren’t just for the styles, including very realistic, usually
wonderful G-spot orgasms, but inter-
ladies. Men who enjoy anal penetration contain phthalates, porous and harder
course just isn’t the best way to get to
can use dildos alone or with their to clean
their G-spot. A curved dildo or wand
made especially for G-spot stimulation to partners. For more information about anal
pleasure, read the next chapter. To read • Elastomer, TPR: soft and pliable
the rescue!
about strap-on sex, see chapter 16. texture, good alternative to rubber
If your partner feels threatened or uneasy These are just some examples of ways and PVC, can be phthalate-free,
with dildo play, remind him that you want that couples incorporate dildo and wand less porous
him to use the dildo on you, and without play into their lovemaking, but the bottom
him, it won’t be as much fun. Help him line is this: They’re lots of fun! • Silicone: soft to medium-firm texture,
realize that a dildo isn’t a cop-out, and warms to body temperature, resilient,
sex does not always have to revolve more expensive, easy to clean, not
compatible with silicone lube
• Acrylic, glass, wood, metal: rock-

hard texture, smooth and seamless
surface, resilient, most expensive,
easy to clean, compatible with
all lubes
Delicious Dildos And Wonderful Wands 139

If you’re buying your first dildo, you may you’re down with the shape, but don’t hipbones. Venture to her outer labia and
want to choose an inexpensive one of need it to actually look like a cock to work use the entire length of your tongue
rubber, softened PVC, or TPR; if you for you. There are plenty of dildos that are against one side, then the other. Move to
decide you like it, you can spend some phallic, but leave off any other references her inner labia and use long strokes of
more for a better material. If you want the to penises. They’re usually available in the tongue like you’re licking an ice
best soft material on the market, then bright colors and can have interesting cream cone. Dip a finger into her opening
definitely pick silicone—and make sure textures such as ridges or bumps. Maybe and spread her wetness around her
it’s medical-grade or platinum silicone. you want to get away from the penis vulva. Slide the finger back in as your
Although I’ve noted the range of textures altogether, and have a dildo that looks mouth moves up to her clitoris. As you
for each material, realize that different nothing like a dick. Well, you can do that, feel her get more turned on, add another
manufacturers produce different textures. too. There are dildos fashioned to look finger. Have the Mistress dildo ($44)
For example, a Doc Johnson jelly rubber like goddesses, sea creatures, animals, standing by for when she’s ready. Pour
toy will be softer and squishier than a and even astrological signs. some lube in your hand and coat the
California Exotics rubber toy. Tantus dildo. Take the head of the dildo and run
makes silicone dildos that tend to be You should decide in advance whether it between her inner lips and up to her
firmer and less pliable than the silicone of you’d like to use your dildo with your clit. Slide it between her lips a few times,
Vixen Creations. VixSkin by Vixen hands, in a strap-on harness, or both. If then rub it against her clit. Let your
Creations feels very similar to CyberSkin, you want to strap it on, then choose a fingers (or hers) take over rubbing her clit
but is easier to clean and lasts longer. dildo with a flared base that is harness while you slowly slide the dildo inside her.
compatible; dildos without bases will not Go about halfway, then stop and let it
When it comes to aesthetics, you have a stay put when worn in a harness. If you’re linger there while her body gets used to
lot to choose from. If you want a dildo not sure, ask a salesperson. For more it. Push it in farther as you continue to
that most closely resembles the male information on harnesses and strap-ons, play with her clitoris. Put your mouth
member, you’re more likely to find it in see chapter 16. back on her as you pump the dildo in and
rubber, PVC, or thermal plastic; realistic out of her. If you want, turn her around so
dildos come in different skin tones, with
Perfect Pairing: Vixen Mistress she’s facing the wall and ask her to
balls, circumcised heads, and veins. If
Dildo + Standing Position present her ass to you. Slide the dildo in
you want some realism, but can do again, this time from behind, creating a
Have her stand facing you and leaning up
without details like veins, you can find different sensation.
against a wall. Get down on your knees
realistic silicone dildos as well, especially
and begin teasing her with your mouth.
VixSkin by Vixen Creations. Perhaps
Kiss her belly, her inner thighs, and her

141
Other Types of Soft Dildos: Double-ended dildos: Double-ended Choosing a Wand
Vibrations, Inflations, and More dildos are perfect for couples where the
Wands are insertable toys that can’t be
Vibrating dildos: I just got done telling man likes anal penetration and both
worn in a strap-on, and they are most
you that a dildo is an insertable toy that partners want to enjoy simultaneous
often made of hard materials such as
doesn’t vibrate, and now, to throw a penetration. The traditional design—an
glass, metal, wood, acrylic, and hard
wrench in the mix . . . introducing extra-long dildo with a head on each
plastic. Because of their high-quality
vibrating dildos. What is the difference end—is actually not very functional when
materials, wands tend to be expensive,
between a vibrator and a vibrating dildo? it comes down to it. It’s hard to use and
and many are over $100. Although some
Vibrating dildos are harness-compatible often just doesn’t work. The Feeldoe,
of them are straight phallic shapes, many
dildos that have a hole in the base for a distributed by Tantus ($115 to $150), is a
of them are curved or shaped like a U or
vibrating mini bullet. You can use the silicone double dildo that actually works
an S. Both their curved shape and their
dildo with or without the vibrator. In fact, because it’s not one long straight phallus,
hard texture make wands ideal toys for
many companies make two versions of but rather two dildos joined together at a
G-spot and prostate (P-spot) stimulation.
the same dildo: one with the hole and fulcrum; it was originally designed for
Many people find that a toy with a solid
one without. For those folks who like lesbians to have dildo sex without a strap-
surface works much better than one made
penetration and vibration, look for a on harness. One partner puts the short
of a pliable material. This makes sense
vibrating dildo. bulbous end inside her and she can
because both the G-spot and the P-spot
actually use her body to penetrate the
respond to firm, deliberate pressure.
Inflatable dildos: An inflatable dildo is a other partner with the longer end. This is
hollow sheath of rubber attached to a by far one of the most popular toys in The Crystal Wand from Nectar Products
pump that inflates it. For people inter- recent years, and though some have ($55) was one of the first toys made of a
ested in working their way up in size who attempted to copy its unique design, the hard material that departed from the
don’t want to invest in multiple dildos, an original stands alone. The Feeldoe comes phallic shape of most dildos and wands;
inflatable dildo is a good alternative. with or without a bullet vibrator. introduced more than a decade ago, it’s
Some people don’t like them, however,
made of medical-grade acrylic and was
because they don’t feel solid like other
designed with an exaggerated S shape
dildos. Others enjoy the unique sensation
by Tantra teacher Cynthia Lamborne. The
they create: They can feel the toy expand
shape made it easy to hold and maneu-
while it’s inside their vagina or ass.
ver and perfect for G-spot stimulation.
The Crystal Wand is quite slim, so it’s
good for those who find other wands too

big; the same company makes a prostate glass is Pyrex. These toys are compatible in the world. Njoy dominates the metal
toy called the Crystal Wand Honeydipper, with all kinds of lubricants, and lube toy market with its ingeniously designed,
which is even slimmer. clings nicely to the seamless surface. brilliantly functional wands and anal toys.
Some of my favorite glass toys are the Its best seller is the S-shaped Fun Wand
Glass wands are as gorgeous as they are Inside Out Filligrino G-Spot Shaft by ($88); one end has three teardrop-
functional. With unique shapes, dazzling Phallix ($300), the Juicer by Asstroknots shaped balls and the other end has a
colors, and handmade quality, glass ($100), and the Archer by E-Glass ($50). single ball on the end. The Pure Wand
wands have become very popular in ($108) is thicker than the Fun Wand and
recent years. They are like individual Like glass, aluminum toys are striking in has a smooth, curvy U shape. Tantus,
works of art, and often their owners want their modern, streamlined designs. They known for its silicone toys, launched the
to display them rather then squirrel them are smooth and shiny and are often Alumina line of aluminum toys; these toys
away under the bed! They can be heavier than glass wands. They are easy are much lighter than those Njoy makes.
fashioned to look like a penis, a baton, to clean, compatible with all lubes, and
a curved wand, and even a candy cane! some of the best G-spot and P-spot toys
Some of the top glass toy brands include
Phallix, Asstroknots, and XHale. Most
well-stocked sex shops carry at least a
few glass toys and several websites cater
specifically to glass toy lovers. The
website Blowfish.com has one of the best
selections of glass dildos and wands on
the Internet, and the buyer always selects
some of the most unique pieces out
there, many one-of-a-kind pieces made
by local artisans and designers. The most
important thing to know when buying a
glass toy is that it’s made of medical-
grade borosilicate, which can withstand
extreme heat and cold as well as
pressure and shock; one of the most
well-known brand names of this type of
Fun Wand

Perfect Pairing: Fun Wand +
Flying Missionary Position
In Flying Missionary position, she lies on
her back with her butt scooted down to
the edge of the bed, and he stands at the
edge of the bed. She bends her knees
and rests her feet on his abdomen. The
success of this position depends on the
height of your bed, of course. Warm her
up with some oral sex or manual
stimulation, and when she’s ready, slide
the well-lubed Fun Wand inside her. Start
with the one-ball end and aim the curved
end toward the front of her body to
stimulate her G-spot. She should feel the
ball press against her G-spot as the toy
moves in and out of her. This position has
many of the pluses of Missionary
position—it’s good for eye contact,
communication, and kissing. Women can
take a more active role in the penetration,
using their feet for leverage to push off
their partner’s body. He has lots of
thrusting power because he is standing,
and both partners have a great view of
each other’s bodies.

You’re Worth the Splurge: Luxury Wand
Australian-based company Goldfrau makes beautiful

handcrafted ceramic wands ($220 to $240) that are as
much sculptures as they are sex toys (available at Good
Vibrations). Each one comes in two sizes of the same
shape—a slim, straight phallic shape with a round ball on
one end meant to be the handle—and it comes in several
designs, embellished with intricate, colorful patterns and
images. Run it under warm water for a few minutes and
you’ve got a smooth, warm, seamless toy that can stand
up against any glass or metal dildo.
NobEssence makes sculptural, ergonomic wands (dildos

and cock rings, too) of wood—exotic hardwoods
including cocobolo, bamboo, bloodwood, and macas-
sare ebony—all organic and sustainably farmed for those
of you who worry about depleting our forests ($100 to
$250). Each toy is a handcrafted masterpiece, but they’re
not just nice to look at! The toys are hypoallergenic and
sealed in a sixteen-step finishing process with Lubrosity
(a trade-secret coating), making them waterproof, safe
for penetration, and easy to clean. With clever shapes
and body-conscious curves, the toys are perfect for
G-spot and P-spot stimulation.

Top Dildo and
Wand Brands
Your Guide to Using To use a curved dildo or wand for G-spot
See Resource Guide (page 238)
Dildos and Wands stimulation, make sure the curve is aimed
for more information
toward the navel. Remember, a light
Some women like penetration while they
touch just won’t do much for the G-spot. Realistic dildos:
masturbate some of the time or all of the
You want to strive for deliberate, direct Vixen Creations VixSkin line
time. If you’ve tried insertable vibrators
pressure. The key, as with other kinds of
but are looking for something softer,
stimulation, is to build the intensity; don’t Harness-compatible dildos:
more pliable, or that looks and feels more
go too hard too quickly. Communicate Vixen Creations, Tantus Silicone
like a penis, you may want to try a dildo.
with your partner and see what feels best
If you want something firmer and more Handheld dildos and wands:
for her. You can experiment with different
angled for the G-spot, then a wand may Jollies, Njoy, Nob Essence, Phallix
techniques. For example, apply an equal
be the perfect tool for the job.
amount of pressure and movement.
Always use plenty of lube on the Some women like a lot of pressure and
dildo—remember, it will feel much better only a little movement. Other women like
inside you when it’s slick and rarin’ to go! a lot of movement where you’re stimulat-
Whether you are alone or with a partner, ing the G-spot as you move the toy in
start slow and tease with the dildo; rub it and out with long strokes. Experiment
on the outside of the vaginal opening, with how much pressure, penetration,
against the labia and clitoris. Start and movement she likes—ask her which
penetration with a well-lubed finger or two techniques feel the best to her. While
to get your body warmed up and ready you’re so diligently focused on the
for something bigger. Along with the G-spot, don’t forget about the clitoris!
dildo, you may want to add clitoral Some women prefer G-spot stimulation
stimulation—your partner can go down by itself, while others appreciate both at
on you, rub your clit with his fingers, or once. Because all the nerves and tissues
use a vibrator on you. Clitoral stimulation are connected, they play off one other,
will feel great and help your vagina relax, helping stimulate the entire area.
expand, and be ready for the dildo. Never
just shove a dildo inside; there will be
plenty of time for fast and furious later on,
but in the beginning it’s best to be slow,
methodical, and gentle.

Tristan’s Top Picks: Double and
Simultaneous Penetration Toys
For women who like to have both orifices penetrated

Double Penetration:
at the same time or couples who want to experience Pleasure Times Two
simultaneous penetration, these are toys designed to Lots of women love the feeling of having
double your fun. both vaginal and anal penetration
simultaneously. Some even fantasize
Pipedreams Lucky Lady Blue Dolphin ($15 to $20):
This phthalate-free rubber dildo is curved in a U shape about having two penises at the same
for simultaneous anal and vaginal penetration. time. If you are interested in experiencing
double penetration without having a
Devinn Lane’s Double Action by Swedish Erotica
threesome with another man, a dildo can
($25 to $35): This phallic-style vibrator has two smooth
definitely get that job done! One penis
phallic shafts that vibrate.
plus one dildo can equal two happy holes.
Sportsheets Menage-a-Trois Harness ($50): If your
partner wants to be able to penetrate you in both places The trick for double penetration is to use
at once, try this strap-on harness with two holes, one for lots and lots of lube, go slow, and work
a penis (or dildo) for the vagina and another for a penis your way up to it. Communication is
(or dildo) for the ass.
extremely important: You’re testing the
Feeldoe ($115 to $150): For couples who want to limits of her body here, so make sure
experience penetration at the same time without the use she’s giving you plenty of feedback about
of a strap-on harness, the Feeldoe is the perfect toy. One how it feels. Also realize that some
partner slides the smaller, knobby end inside him or her, women can easily and comfortably
then the longer phallic end goes inside the other partner.
accommodate something of size in their
vagina and in their ass. Others will take

some effort, with lots of warm-up. But
some women may not be able to do it at
all, and you should never pressure her to
try it if it’s just not working. Double
penetration really depends on your
internal map and whether there’s room
for two. Most women will have an idea
whether it’s possible, so make sure she’s
the one who’s in charge and calling the
shots. Some women like to first have their
ass fully penetrated by their partner’s
penis (because that orifice takes more
time to warm up), then have a dildo
slowly slid into their vagina. Others prefer
the inching method, where the penis
inches into the vagina a little at a time
and stays put, then the dildo inches into
the ass a little, and so on. Remember,
you can also do this with two small dildos
if his penis is too big, impatient, or out of
commission.

AnAl PleAsure:
Butt Toys for Her and Him
151
T
As you read in the first chapter, the ass is an amazing he ass is not self-lubricating, so
you absolutely need to use lube,
erogenous zone. Women can have orgasms from anal
and plenty of it. The key to safe,
penetration, in combination with vaginal penetration pleasurable anal sex is slow, patient
warm-up. The biggest mistake people
or clitoral stimulation, or on its own. Men can achieve make is that they rush the process, which
direct prostate stimulation through anal penetration, leads to pain and frustration. Anal sex
does not have to hurt; if it hurts, you need
which, by itself or coupled with penis stimulation, to slow down or stop altogether.
can also lead to orgasm. It’s important to talk to your
Toys are a great way to explore anal
partner about anal play before you do it, and keep pleasure on your own, experiment with
your partner, or warm up for anal
communicating while you explore.
intercourse. A toy must have either a
handle or a flared base to be safe for anal
play (so slimline, rabbit-style, or straight
phallic vibrators should not be used).
Some vibrators and most dildos and
wands are safe for your ass; in addition,
there are toys designed especially for
anal pleasure.

Anal Beads: Fun Going in, What fans of anal beads love about them
Fun Coming Out is the ability to experience one particular
sensation several times over—when the
Anal beads come in many different
sphincter muscles relax, the anus opens
varieties. One particular style used to be
up, a bead slides in, and the muscles
the most abundant and inexpensive: hard
close around it. (Some toys have five
plastic beads on a nylon or cotton string.
beads, others as many as ten.) Make
If you see those, steer clear of them: they
sure you lube each part of the bead toy
are cheaply made, impossible to clean
and go slowly as you insert each part.
properly, and potentially unsafe (because
The fun thing about them is that once you
the plastic usually has rough edges or
have a portion or the entire length of the
seams). You want to look for an anal
beads in your ass, you can pull the toy
bead toy, which is one continuous piece
out all at once, creating an entirely
of rubber or silicone. I recommend
different sensation! Some people like to
silicone, because it warms to body
pull it out just before orgasm, to push
temperature and can be easily
them over the edge, while others wait
disinfected. Some bead toys have beads
until after they’ve come.
that are all the same size and others
graduate in size; pick a size and style that
appeals to you.
Anal Pleasure: Butt Toys For Her And Him 153

Perfect Pairing: Flexi Felix Beads
+ Stallion Position
In Stallion position, she stands with her
legs apart, then bends forward at the
waist and leans on the bed (or another
piece of furniture) and he stands behind
her. Stallion has all the benefits of Doggie
Style with more power, because he has
full leverage with his hips and legs. For
some couples, this may simply work better
than Doggie Style or Flying Doggie
because of their sizes and heights. If she
feels too much strain on her knees in other
Doggie positions, this is a better option for
her. If he can position his hips slightly
higher than hers, he can stimulate her
G-spot indirectly when he penetrates her.
Once you’re inside her vagina, lube up

Fun Factory’s Flexi Felix bead toy ($35).
It’s a great toy because it’s soft silicone
and the beads are small—perfect for a
beginner. Slide one bead inside her anus,
and let her ass relax and get used to the
feeling. Have her rub her clitoris as you
do it to intensify the sensations. Ask her
when she’s ready for the next bead, then
slide that one in gently. See how many
beads she can take, but don’t press your
luck, everyone has to go at her own pace.
Hold the handle of the toy, then start to
thrust gently inside her. As you move
inside her, the beads will feel even tighter.

155
Butt Plugs: Great for Solo
Play or as a Warm-up to
Anal Intercourse
Butt plugs are made especially for anal
play, and are made of rubber, PVC, hard
plastic, TPR, silicone, glass, acrylic,
metal, and wood. They are designed to
go in your ass and stay there. It’s a
deceptively simple concept, but one that
is very gratifying for a lot of people. Plugs
come in a variety of styles and materials,
but most stick to a few basic shapes. The
classic teardrop plug is tapered at the
top, is pear shaped in the middle with a
well-defined wide part, has a very slim
neck underneath for the sphincter to
close around, and has a round or an oval
base at the bottom. The bubble or ripple
style usually has multiple bubble-shaped
sections (in the same size or graduated
sizes) that descend into the narrow neck
and flared base. The mushroom-shaped
plug has a thick mushroom cap head, a
neck that’s narrower than the head but
not as narrow as on the other two styles,
and an oval-shaped base.
The Tristan Silicone Butt Plug

For those folks who like the feeling of
having something in their ass—a
sensation of fullness, “stretching,” or
pressure—without any in-and-out
movement, a butt plug is the ideal toy.
Unless the plug is the size of one finger,
you always want to warm up with a finger
or two before inserting it. Make sure it is
well lubed and never push too hard or
force it inside. Take your time. Ease it all
the way in and feel the sphincter muscles
close around the neck.
Butt plugs are great for solo play as well

as perfect tools for warm-up to anal
penetration. Some people like to slide a
butt plug in, then move on to other
activities such as oral sex, vaginal
penetration, or mutual masturbation. After
the plug has been in for a little while, slide
it out and you’ll find the ass is aroused,
open, and ready for something bigger.
Tanutus Silicone Anal Beads
Anal Pleasure: Butt Toys For Her And Him 157

An inflatable butt plug is just what it For some people, if it doesn’t vibrate, Perfect Pairing: Buddy Plug +
sounds like: a hollow plug (usually made it doesn’t do the trick, and these folks Reverse Cowgirl Position
of latex) attached to a bulb you squeeze swear by vibrating anal toys. Vibration not In Reverse Cowgirl position, he usually
with your hand to push air into and inflate only feels good, but it’s also a proven lies on his back, but this time he should
it. Some inflatable butt plugs also have way to relax muscles, so vibrating toys sit up. She straddles him facing away
vibrators in their bases. Some people like are great for anal penetration. There are from him. Lube up the Buddy Plug (a
inflatable plugs because they can butt plugs with attached vibrators and great small plug from Vixen Creations,
gradually work their way up from a slim those that come with a removable $18) and hold it underneath her. Have her
toy to a sizable one without having to vibrator so you can have the best of both take a deep breath and sit down on the
shell out the money for four different- worlds. There are vibrating probes made plug so that she can control the speed
sized plugs! They can track their and marketed especially for anal play. and depth of the penetration. When it’s
progress, and one toy can suit their Some not only vibrate but are also securely inside her butt, you want to
different desires. Other people like the bendable to allow for the perfect angle. leave it there and give her body a chance
unique feeling of something expanding to warm up. In this position, you can slide
while it’s inside their ass. As with all kinds I recommend plugs made of soft
your penis inside her vagina while the
of anal play, don’t try to rush things with materials for beginners, but when you’re
plug is in her ass. Or she can slide her
this kind of toy—take your time. Use ready for something solid, some of the
body back for some delicious oral sex in
common sense and never overinflate one best plugs out there are made of glass,
69 position. Or she can reverse
of these bad boys. Make sure you first metal, and wood. Butt toys made of hard
direction—for a blow job or intercourse in
inflate it outside the body, and note how materials are smooth and seamless, and
Cowgirl position. If she stays in Reverse
many squeezes of the inflating pump it lube clings to them very well. Because
Cowgirl, you can replace the Buddy with
can take, because you don’t want to find there is no drag like on a soft toy, people
a bigger plug. Once she’s had the bigger
out its limit while it’s up your butt. often find they can take a bigger toy
one in for a while, slide it out. Re-lube
made of a hard material. For folks who
your penis, and have her come down
really enjoy a feeling of fullness, the
slowly on it, like she did with the plug.
weight of one of these toys (especially
This way, she’s in charge of how much
the metal ones) totally satisfies.
she takes and she can ride you exactly
how she wants.

159
Perfect Pairing: Pure Plug + Triple X, he gets a great view of her ass something out of her ass), which will help
Triple X Position and easy access to it as well. Njoy’s Pure relax the sphincter muscles. Once the
To get into Triple X position, he lies on his Plug ($65 to $120) comes in four sizes; plug is all the way in, slip a compact
back with his legs spread slightly. (Use after you’ve mastered two fingers, you’re clitoral vibrator underneath her and she’ll
pillows to make sure you’re in a ready for the medium ($75). There are be squirming in no time! The second
comfortable position.) She climbs on top two ways to do this. The first is where version has her riding your penis in
of him and begins in Reverse Cowgirl there is no vaginal penetration; she Reverse Cowgirl, then gradually leaning
position. Very slowly, she leans forward, simply lies on top of you. You can lube up forward toward your feet. While you are
letting her legs fall open, until she’s lying the Pure Plug and slowly slide it into her still inside her, slide the well-lubed plug
on her stomach on top of and away from ass. As you come to the widest part of into her ass. The combination of both
him. This is an advanced position and the plug, have her take some very deep holes being filled at once should send
may not work for everyone, especially if it breaths. If you’re having trouble, she can her into ecstasy.
puts too much strain on his penis. In bear down slightly (as if she’s pushing
You’re Worth the Splurge: Luxury Butt Plug
French artist Julian Snelling (juliansnelling.fr) designs butt plugs that look like
jewelry. These stainless steel teardrop-shaped plugs range in size, but even
the largest is fairly small. When you slide the plug inside someone’s ass,
that’s when you see the crowning jewel—literally. On the base of each plug
is a gorgeous, sparkling crystal. A plug with a colored crystal looks like a
gorgeous ruby or emerald nestled between your partner’s ass cheeks, quite
a sight to behold! He also makes plugs with semiprecious stones, including
malachite and tigereye, as well as some with intricate designs in bronze
($85 to $425).

161
You’re Worth the Splurge:
Jade Butt Plug at
Coco de Mer Prostate Toys: His Treat There are now several prostate toys on
Several sex toys have been designed the market, which all follow the basic
For the anal aficionado who has every especially for prostate stimulation. The premise of the Aneros toys: They are
butt toy imaginable, surprise her with Aneros was the very first prostate toy on hands-free prostate stimulators. Slide the
Petite Fesse ($140), a plug made of the market, and it was originally created well-lubed toy inside your ass and its
jade. Jade has long been associated as a medical device to help men with shape conforms to the inside of your
with love and sexuality, and it’s rare to swollen or enlarged prostates. It is made body and targets the sensitive prostate
find sex toys made of this precious of nonporous hard plastic and looks like internally and the perineum externally. As
stone. When you slide the plug all the a butt plug with two curlicue ends on it. you tighten your sphincter muscles, the
way in your ass, the base that is Men discovered that not only did it help toy presses against the prostate; as you
nestled between the butt cheeks is them, but it also brought them relax the muscles, the outer piece (which
a delicately carved flower. tremendous pleasure and enhanced their is different on different toys) stimulates
orgasms. It has been embraced as a tool your perineum. Not only do prostate toys
of pleasure and the brand has expanded massage the prostate, but they also help
as a result: The Aneros now comes in men tone and control their anal sphincter
seven different styles. and PC muscles—which has been
proven to improve sexual function and
orgasm control and intensity.
Romp by NobEssence

163
Tristan’s Top Picks: Prostate Massagers
Aneros ($48 to $100): The original prostate massager brand still

dominates the market and earns rave reviews from men all over the world.
Start with the most popular style called MGX ($48). As you move your
sphincter muscles it causes the toy to pivot forward to massage the prostate
as the outer piece (called the abutment) rubs against the perineum.
Nexus Vibro: Nexus, a company based in the UK, makes several prostate
toys, including Glide ($55), Excel ($60), Titus ($75), and a vibrating version
called the Vibro ($120). Nexus toys are made of hard, nonporous plastic
and have a similar shape to the Aneros, but with a more exaggerated angle.
One of the significant differences is that instead of a thin piece of plastic to
stimulate the perineum, Nexus toys have a stainless steel roller ball that
glides against the sensitive spot (and the ball pops out for easy cleaning).
Rude Boy ($85): Created by the makers of the Rock Chick (which you read
about in the chapter on dual-action vibrators), the Rude Boy is a silicone
U-shaped, battery-powered, waterproof vibrator. The smooth part goes
inside your ass, and its dramatic curve targets the sensitive prostate, while
the end with raised nubs hugs your perineum. Like other prostate
massagers, this is designed for hands-free fun: As you contract your
sphincter muscles, the toy stimulates the prostate and perineum
simultaneously.
Pfun Plug ($90): Njoy makes the best stainless steel toys in the world,
period. They have ingenious, functional designs that really work, as
though they’ve been tested on real bodies, not just made to look nice.
The craftsmanship is top rate, and they come in luxurious satin-lined boxes
like the small works of art that they are. The Pfun Plug has a curved shape
and is the perfect length to hit the prostate. You can manually move it in and
out with the cool ringed handle at the base or use your sphincter muscles to
control it and let the base rub against the perineum. If you’re looking for a
toy with more weight than the others or you like stainless steel, nothing
beats the Pfun.

165
Get Ready foR the
Ride of youR Life:
Strap-ons
167
Strap-ons are a great way to experience penetrative A Thigh Harness Lets
You Get Creative
sex. Women can strap on a dildo to give their partners
A thigh harness is a piece of material
anal penetration. Men can strap on a dildo to give their (either stretchy nylon, neoprene, or
partners vaginal or anal penetration, or both. Dildos and leather) that you strap onto your leg.
Neoprene gets the best reviews because
harnesses mean that you can have a hands-free romp it stays put—no one wants a harness that
and use your hands for other things: play with his balls, slips! It has a hole for a dildo to slip
through and is usually kept in place by
tweak her nipples, grab his butt cheeks. People also Velcro. Dildos without balls or very thick
like the closeness a strap-on affords partners during bases work best with this kind of harness.
Thigh harnesses are great for people who
penetration. Having strap-on sex can be part of fantasy don’t want to wear a dildo between their
role-playing or gender play for some partners. legs, but still want to have hands-free
dildo sex. If you like to rub up against
It gives women the opportunity to learn a new way to your partner’s thigh or love positions
where you’re on top, you’ll also like a
give pleasure by having a dick. It’s also a chance for
thigh harness, because you can climb on
couples to incorporate a sex toy into their bedroom and ride to your heart’s content! Although
it was designed to be worn on your leg,
routine in a new way.
you’re also free to get creative. Strap it to
a firm pillow or the base of a chair for solo
play. Rap it around your partner’s arms
for bondage and dildo play all in one.

Get Ready For The Ride Of Your Life: Strap-ons 169
Perfect Pairing: Thigh Harness + Strap-on Harnesses role-play. For women, strap-on sex is a
Froggie Position for Women new way to give their partners pleasure.
Have him lie on his back with the harness The harness frees up your hands for
Every single day that I worked at
and dildo strapped to one thigh. Climb on other kinds of stimulation and gives you a
Babeland, at least one male/female
top to straddle him, but instead of resting unique chance to put your whole body
couple came in to buy a strap-on for her
on your knees, squat down, so your feet behind the anal penetration. It puts you in
to use on him. And that was ten years
are flat. Begin by teasing him a little: the driver’s seat for a change. Some
ago! These days, women strapping it on
Hover over the dildo and tell him how women get off on being able to give it to
to penetrate their partners is more and
much you want it. Spread your labia or their guys, while others experience
more popular, and I get dozens of letters
touch yourself. Slowly lower yourself onto physical pleasure with the help of some
every day from couples who have
the dildo, savoring every inch. Begin by ingenious toys designed especially for
embraced this activity. So what is all the
establishing a slow up-and-down rhythm. strap-on sex.
fuss about? Strap-on sex can be exciting,
This is all about you, girl, so bask in the
boundary pushing, and extremely
spotlight as you ride that dildo. Place
intimate for many couples. For men who Your Guide to Choosing a Harness
your hands on either side of his body or
already enjoy anal penetration, strap-on You can find some strap-on dildos and
against his chest to give you some
anal play is another way for your partner harnesses sold together in kits, but the
leverage. He can also hold your arms
to be able to give you what you crave. best strap-on is the one you “build”
while you move or you can press them
Plenty of guys just love the way it feels to yourself by choosing the dildo and the
against the bed’s headboard. Remember,
have a toy that’s connected to their harness. Just like with dildos, when
this is not a position that’s comfortable
partner’s body thrusting in and out of choosing a harness, you have several
for everyone, and you definitely get a
them. Some men fantasize about being things to consider. Harnesses can be
quad workout!
on the receiving end of a dick for a made of leather, vinyl, nylon, rubber, and
change, while others like to incorporate different kinds of fabric. They come in a
strap-on sex into dominant/submissive variety of styles and can be basic, em-
bellished, no-nonsense, or glamorous.
You can embrace a fetish look with
leather and metal hardware, go for a red
sparkly superhero harness, or even have
a clear plastic see-through harness. The
material you choose depends on how
you want your harness to look and how
much money you want to spend.

Tristan’s Harness Picks
In addition to aesthetics, harnesses the dildo moves around less and is easier
Best value harness:
come in two main styles: one strap and to guide. Harnesses have three different
Aslan Pleasure Principle
two strap. A one-strap harness has a types of fasteners: metal D-rings that the
Harness ($48)
strap that goes around your hips, one material slides through, plastic fasteners
Best see-through harness: that goes between your legs, and a panel similar to straps on a backpack, or metal
Sportsheets Peek-a-Boo Clear in front (sometimes with a cock ring) where buckles like on a belt.
Harness ($30) the dildo slips through a hole. Because it
fits like a G-string, the center strap rubs You want to choose a harness that fits
Most stylish harness: against your genitals, which may feel you well—the snugger and more secure,
Aslan Prince Vinyl Harness ($85) stimulating to some and annoying to the better. If you are a larger woman, ask
others. This style harness tends to fit the store for harnesses designed for large
Best leather harness: women or see whether you can order
especially petite women the best.
Stormy Leather Terra Firma extra-long straps. I recommend that you
Harness ($65) A two-strap harness has a strap that try a few different styles on before you
goes around your hips and two straps buy them; most reputable stores will let
Best girly harness:
that go around your ass cheeks; it fits like you try it on over your clothes. If you
Outlaw Leather Annie-O
a jock strap, leaving your vagina and ass order from a catalog or website, see what
Harness ($115)
easily accessible and free to be stimu- the return policy is. The majority of dildos
lated. It has a panel of material with a will fit in a standard harness, as long as
hole and a cock ring for the dildo. Some there is a flared base and the dildo isn’t
two-strap models have just a cock ring excessively large.
without a panel of material; some styles
have a detachable cock ring that can be
changed to accommodate different-sized
dildos. These are especially good if the
dildo you are using is significantly
smaller or larger than average. Others
have a cock ring that sits on top of the
material, so the dildo does not go directly
against your body. Some people find that
the two-strap harness tends to give them
more control than the one-strap model;
Vixen Mistress Dildo and

Annie-O Harness

A Thigh Harness Lets You Get Creative 173
Using a Strap-on Harness experiment with different positions. vulnerable, and will reassure you that
To put on a harness, first buckle all the I know that the first few times I did it, I had you’re not hurting him. Once you are
straps together but keep it loose, slip the my partner in Doggie Style position for inside him, and he’s ready for some
dildo through the O-ring, and step into several reasons. Doggie Style gives you movement, begin slowly. You want to
the harness as if it were a pair of a clear view of the anus, so you can see establish a thrusting motion with your
underwear or shorts. Then position the what the hell you’re doing. The position hips, one that feels good to him and
dildo, adjust the straps, and tighten them. allows for a good angle of penetration, won’t tire you out too quickly.
Or you can put the strap around your toward the prostate in men. It’s an easy
hips, put the dildo through the O-ring, angle to get your balance, establish a Women can enjoy penetrating men on
then buckle or fasten the other strap (or rhythm, and get some good thrusting many different levels. The trust and
straps). Make sure you buckle or fasten it going. So, you may want to start out that intimacy between partners can feel
so that it’s tight against your body; a way, but you can also try Missionary (usu- especially heightened and very arousing.
common mistake beginners make is that ally with legs over the shoulders) or The naughty, taboo aspects of both anal
they leave it too loose. You want to Cowboy (him on top). sex and a woman with a dick can really
position the dildo where it’s most get her motor going. The power she feels
comfortable for you. Most people like it to Learning how to skillfully wield a strap-on as the penetrating partner can also add
sit against the pubic mound so that the takes practice and patience. If you feel to her fantasy and pleasure. Women, you’ll
bottom of the dildo base rests against the like the dildo is moving around too much be happy to know that strap-on anal sex
clitoral hood and top of the vulva. If the or doesn’t feel secure, then your harness also has the potential to be physically
dildo has a very exaggerated curve, make isn’t tight enough and you should adjust stimulating for you. There are many
sure the curve is always aimed toward the it. In the beginning, you may want to different ways for a woman to get pleasure
front of his body for prostate stimulation guide the dildo with your hand, which will during strap-on sex. For some women,
(or hers for G-spot stimulation). give you more control of exactly where when the base of the dildo rubs against
it’s going. When your partner is ready for the clitoris and vagina, there is enough
Penetrating someone while wearing a penetration, be gentle and go slowly. friction there to feel fantastic. Some
strap-on is a learned skill, so give yourself Press the tip of the well-lubricated dildo women get enough clitoral stimulation
some time to get the hang of it. As a against his opening, and have him come from this action to have an orgasm.
woman doing the penetration, you should back on it. This may help him feel less

If you want to add a vibrator to the
equation, you’ve got several options.
You can try to don a wearable vibrator
beneath the harness, but this may be
awkward and interfere with the snugness
of the harness. A better idea is to use the
Buzz Me harness, made by Stormy Not Just for Girls: Strap-on
Leather and equipped with a pocket for
Harnesses for Men
a small vibrating egg or a mini vibrator.
There are also dildos with hollowed-out
bases made for vibrating mini bullets. For When most people think of strap-ons, they picture
double penetration (one for you, one for women wearing them to penetrate either male or female
your partner), you can buy a double dildo partners. But strap-ons aren’t just for girls! Plenty of men
made especially for harness use. You use strap-ons, too. Some may have erectile dysfunction
want one that is made for use in a or difficulty. Some may like to have a backup for when
harness, not one of those extra-long their penis runs out of steam but their partner doesn’t.
dongs with two heads. I recommend the And some are just looking for a whole new way to
Nexus by Vixen: a two-dildos-in-one have sex!
package designed so the harness wearer
There is only one harness made especially for men, the
can have a dildo inside her vagina while
Men’s Dildo Harness by Canadian company Aslan
simultaneously penetrating her partner
Leather ($130). On this leather harness, below the
with the other end.
opening for the dildo, is a pouch for the man to store his
goods. The strap starts behind the pouch, making this
more comfortable than a traditional one-strap model that
could rub uncomfortably against his genitals. Men can
also wear some of the two-strap harnesses previously
described. Ask for recommendations from a salesperson
or try some on over your underwear to find one that’s
comfortable. All the advice about choosing a harness
and using one in this chapter applies to men as well.

Perfect Pairing: Nexus Double Wearing the Nexus takes a little practice. onto the dildo; this way, he can control
Dildo + Doggie Style Position First, with all the straps loosely fastened, the speed and depth of penetration as
Doggie Style is a great position for step into the harness. Slide the Nexus well as the angle. Reach around to
women who are just starting to explore into the harness so that the shorter stimulate his penis and balls; have him
how to properly wield a new toy between end—which is the one intended for continue to come back onto the dildo and
their legs! It gives you a chance to find you—is facing your body and the longer show you the speed and rhythm he likes.
your center of gravity, practice your hip end is protruding from the front of the Then you can take over the thrusting.
action, and get used to the rhythm of harness. Then, lube up your end and Hold on to his hips to give yourself more
thrusting. If you like to look at, squeeze, slide it into your vagina. When it feels leverage. Run your fingers up and down
or spank your partner’s butt, this gives comfortable, adjust the other end of the his back—for a more intense sensation,
you the best view and the most access. If dildo and then tighten all the straps on use your nails!
couples want to explore dominant/ the harness. Now you’re ready for action!
submissive role-play during anal sex,
I’m assuming you’ve read the previous
Doggie Style can work well to help you
chapter all about anal penetration and
channel your inner mistress and have
warm-up, so when you break out the
your partner surrender to your will. If he
Nexus, his ass has been properly
puts his head down while his butt is in the
prepared. Lube the other end of the dildo
air, his body is angled well for you to
and rub it against his anal opening. Have
stimulate his prostate. The Nexus ($78 to
him take the lead and actually come back
$120) is an amazing toy because it allows
the wearer to be penetrated as she
penetrates her partner.

A Thigh Harness Lets You Get Creative 177
IgnIte Your SenSeS
wIth SenSatIon
ProductS and toYS
179
If you’re looking to have a truly sensual experience Feathers: Sensual,
Luxurious, Ticklish
when you have sex, one that goes beyond just
There’s a reason why in the popular
your genitals, why not stimulate all your senses? French maid fantasy the maid is usually
Whether it’s sight, smell, sound, touch, or taste, the always carrying a feather duster, and it
doesn’t have anything to do with cleaning
products and toys in this chapter awaken, arouse, the house! Feathers are sensual,
and stimulate one or more of your senses. Not only luxurious tools that feel great against the
skin and stimulate our touch receptors.
can this add a new component to your lovemaking, They can stroke, flutter, tickle, and tease
but it will also help you and your partner connect the flesh. They are a fun way to get
someone in the mood without
with your senses and your whole body. You can use intimidating him or her, so they are a
these treats as the first course in an evening-long good bet for beginners and lovers who
aren’t ready for whips and chains. If you
feast, a surprise addition to shake up a familiar want to shake things up in bed but aren’t
sure how your partner might react to a
routine, or something fun to inspire playfulness
sensual toy, try a feather toy. It’s sure to
and fantasy. be fun without being too far out there.
You can buy a large single feather (such
as a giant ostrich feather) or a feather
tickler made of many feathers attached
to a handle (similar to a duster). Run a
feather tickler down the entire length of
your partner’s body. Brush the feathers
lightly against the skin, then follow each
swipe with a kiss. If you’re feeling playful,
you can use your feather to torture him as
you target his ticklish spots. If tickling
turns both of you on, check out a
wonderful book on the subject, Erotic
Tickling by Michael Moran, for more
information.

Tristan’s Top Picks:
Sensation Play
Feathers: Lover’s Feather Ticklers

Massage Oil: Touch Plus make sure you put a towel down first.
by Pipedream ($5)
Smell = Sexy Fun Oil-based products should not get near
your genitals if you’re planning to have
Want to combine both touch and smell
Massage oil: Babeland Massage sex. Oil-based products are bad for
into one sensual experience? A sensual
Oil in Lavender Vanilla ($13) vaginas and can cause vaginal infections.
massage is a great way to start an
Some couples enjoy using silicone lube
evening of sexy fun. You don’t need to be
Massage oil candle: Jimmyjane as a massage oil because it’s slick,
a licensed masseuse to give a good
Afterglow Candle ($25) moisturizing, and, most important, not
massage, you just need to be generous,
oil-based; this way, you can transition
Stimulating gel: O’My Clitoral listen to your partner, and use the healing
from massage to sex play without having
Pleasure Gel ($20) power of touch. Massage oil is easy to
to switch to a different product.
find, and you have lots of brands to
Body paint: Shunga Chocolate choose from; in fact, popular lube
Body Paint ($9) companies such as K-Y and Astroglide
Massage Oil Candles:
have gotten into the game and now
Liquid latex: Deviant Liquid Wax Play, without Pain
produce their own massage oils. Other
Latex ($18)
good brands are Kama Sutra, Good Candles are a wonderful way to set a
Clean Love, Babeland, and Good romantic mood, and many couples light
Vibrations Touch Me. There are also them to create some sexy ambience in
massage bars—a solid bar that dissolves the bedroom. Some folks fantasize about
into oil as you use it on the skin; these another use for those candles: They want
are much are easier to travel with and can to seductively drip hot wax all over their
be less messy than oils. To add some partner’s body, or have it drizzled on
taste to your indulgent experience, them. It looks great in the movies, but the
choose a lickable or edible massage oil, reality doesn’t always live up to the hype:
which you can rub all over your partner’s If you use the wrong kind of candle, the
body, then have fun tracing those spots wax can actually burn someone’s skin. If
with your tongue and licking it up. it burns at the correct temperature, you’re
still left with a lot of cooled wax to clean
The most important thing to keep in mind
up. Massage oil candles not only address
with massage oil is that if does in fact
and fix these common issues, but they
contain oil, it can stain sheets, fabric, and
also combine two activities in one
clothes and may be hard to clean up, so
product. They burn at a very low

183
temperature, making it gentle and safe to the arousal process and make her more edible body dust. Some dusts come
use without fear of hurting your partner sensitive. When you put a tiny bit on the with a feather, so you can combine the
by scorching his skin. Light the candle hood or the underside of the clitoris, the sensuality of feathers against skin with
and let the wax begin to melt. Lift your area tingles, blood rushes to the genitals, a delicious powder.
hand up and away from your partner’s and the entire vulva gets swollen and
body (the farther away the candle, the aroused. I don’t recommend you put
cooler the wax will be when it hits the them on other parts of the labia, and they Liquid Latex for Temporary
skin). Once you’ve drizzled your partner’s should definitely not be used internally. Rubber Creations
body with warm wax, start rubbing your You can also use them on men or Rubber can be very, very sexy. Imagine
fingers into it and it will transform into women’s nipples for extra sensation. rubber tight against your skin, coating
silky smooth massage oil. Now, you’re each inch and curve of your body as if
ready to give an erotic massage! you were poured into it. Or it was poured
Body Paint and Dust: An on you. As latex clothing has moved
Edible Treat beyond the underground fetish world and
Gels and Creams Stimulate If you love the idea of licking chocolate into the mainstream, more people have
Your Sensitive Spots sauce, whipped cream, honey, and other become interested in what it’s like to wear
We all know that the genitals are very goodies off your partner’s body, then rubber bras, dresses, tops, shorts, and
sensitive, but some folks like to make you’ll love edible body paint and dust. other items. Liquid latex is a blend of
them even more sensitive. Stimulating They’re just as tasty, but safe for the skin-safe latex that you can pour or brush
gels and creams such as Rocket Balm, body, moisturizing to the skin, and easy on the body; it dries in about 10 or 15
Flower Balm, and Please Pleasure Cream to clean up afterward. Edible body paints minutes, and as it does, it shrinks,
do just that. I recommend the products come in different colors and flavors and becoming tighter against the skin. You
that contain some kind of natural offer all sorts of fun opportunities. Create can make your own custom, temporary
stimulant, such as menthol or a colorful masterpiece on your naked rubberwear out of liquid latex, and it can
peppermint, over those with chemical body. Draw a bikini on and have him take last for several hours. For some, it’s not
stimulants or numbing agents. it off. Write naughty words on your body about fashion at all; they just love the
Stimulating gels and creams created for and ask your partner to lick them off. sensation of having liquid latex put on
men stimulate the head and frenulum of Paint your partner’s sensitive spots, then their body, the thrill of watching it dry, and
the penis; apply a small amount and in a erase them with your mouth. Imagine soft the excitement of having a partner peel it
few seconds the area will start to tingle. baby powder sprinkled on your skin, then off slowly.
Those made for women can be used on nibbled off by someone you love. You
the clitoris and are formulated to boost can experience that sensation with
Ignite Your Senses With Sensation Products And Toys 185

Tie Her Up,
Tie Him Down:
Bondage for Every Budget
187
F
When many people recall their first experience of or grown-ups, bondage is an erotic
activity with endless possibilities.
bondage, it usually reaches all the way back to It seems to transcend categories:
childhood. As part of cops and robbers, cowboys and Self-described kinky and nonkinky folks
alike incorporate different types of
Indians, or another kids’ game, someone had to be bondage into their sex play. If you’ve ever
restrained at some point. You’d grab a necktie or a belt held down your lover’s hands while you
were having sex or pinned a partner down
or something from one of your parent’s closets and to the bed with your body, then you’ve
tie up the bad guys. Some people look back on those practiced a form of bondage. That’s one of
the bonuses of bondage: You can do it
experiences as fun memories. Bondage enthusiasts without any fancy equipment and you can
usually remember the first time they were tied up (or use what’s nearby: a silk scarf, a pair of
suspenders, pantyhose—heck, I’ve used
tied someone else up) with a lot more detail and glee. a rolled-up sheet in a pinch. Of course,
you can also invest in some great bondage
toys and accessories, from the simple to
the elaborate.
Bondage is incredibly versatile and can

cover lots of erotic territory, from teasing
to torment, and everything in between.
It’s an ideal vehicle to explore explicit
power dynamics, because res-
training someone embodies dominance,
control, power, and authority. And being
restrained is a way to submit, surrender,
and give oneself over to another.

Your Guide to There are lots of different types of Blindfolds Can Heighten
Playing Safe bondage toys, and this chapter will cover Your Other Senses
some of the most common, including
Before you begin playing with any When you take away someone’s sense
blindfolds, collars, bondage tape, wrist
bondage toy, you need to sit down with of sight, his other senses become
and ankle cuffs, and bondage kits and
your partner and talk about what you’re heightened: Noises sound louder, smells
systems. Except for blindfolds, what
going to do. Bondage requires a great are more intense, and even the lightest
these all have in common is that they
deal of trust and communication between touch can send chills down the spine.
restrain or bind a part of the body.
partners. Share any fears you may have Blindfolds can also help put someone
Whether it’s Velcro, a buckle, or a knot,
as well as any fantasies. Talk about what in a particular frame of mind; people
you should always make sure whatever
the limits are. Are you interested in wearing them often feel curious and
you put someone in is safe. Cuffs and
wearing cuffs, but only on your wrists? excited as they anticipate what might
collars should fit well, but not be too tight.
Maybe you want to be tied down to the come next. A blindfold can help someone
You should be able to put two fingers
bed. Perhaps you’re interested in playing focus on what’s happening to her body,
between the item and the person’s skin.
master/slave. Or you want to experiment making every sensation stronger.
You never want bondage to put too much
with a new bondage kit you bought,
strain on parts of the body; the person An effective blindfold is one that someone
except you don’t want to be blindfolded.
won’t be able to be in that bondage for can’t see out of, which may mean it’s time
If you wear a collar, would you also like
very long. Better to make your captive to invest in something a little better than
him to put you on a leash? If she ties you
more comfortable, so she or he can stay that silky sleep mask by the bed
up and puts on a blindfold, how will you
tied up for as long as you want! You (although, to be fair, some sleep masks
let her know if you want to stop? You
should also check in periodically with work amazingly well as blindfolds).
should both agree on a safeword: a word
your partner to make sure that everything Blindfolds come in polyester, satin,
that either partner can say to have your
still feels okay. If the person in bondage leather, and other fabrics, and it’s really a
bondage play stop, if necessary. Some
feels pain, tingling, or numbness, take the matter of personal taste. Some have an
couples play with two safewords; for
restraint off immediately. elastic strap; others fasten with Velcro or
example, they use yellow to say “slow
down, not so hard, ease up” and red to a buckle. Elastic straps usually aren’t
say “stop.” Whatever word you agree on, adjustable, so make sure the blindfold fits
remember that you can use it at any time. well and is not too tight. If you’re going to
Tie Her Up, Tie Him Down: Bondage For Every Budget 189
be lying on your back most of the time, begin a role-playing scene, to transition of them. Imagine ripping a Band-Aid off a
then you may not want a blindfold with a from your real-life personalities into sensitive part of your body. Now imagine
buckle, because it can become uncom- dominant and submissive, master and that it’s twenty times stickier. Duct tape,
fortable against the back of your head slave, or whatever roles you’ve chosen and other kinds of tape, are so sticky that
pretty quickly. Blindfolds should be snug, for the scene. Like other bondage toys, after only a minute against someone’s
but not too tight. People who wear collars can be made of leather, rubber, skin, they can do serious damage.
contact lenses and a blindfold for a long nylon, and other materials; some collars Luckily, some pervy people have invented
period of time may find that their lenses have Velcro or buckles, and others have an alternative!
dry out or become uncomfortable; keep a ring where you can insert a lock. For
lens drops handy or have your partner the fashion conscious among you—you Bondage tape is made of a thin plastic,
take his lenses out before you begin. know who you are—you can often get a comes in several colors, and is available
When a blindfold comes off, the person collar to match your wrist and ankle at most sex toy stores. It comes in a
will usually be disoriented and extra restraints. A collar should be snug around 2-inch (5-cm) -wide roll that looks a lot
sensitive to light, so give him some time the neck, but never tight, choking, or like packing tape, but this tape isn’t
to readjust to being able to see again. cutting off circulation; make sure you can sticky, so it’s safe for your skin. Bondage
fit two fingers between the collar and the tape clings to itself, which is how it stays
person’s neck. You can grab the front in place, but it won’t stick to hair or skin. I
Collars: Fashion or Fetish ring of a collar to pull someone toward love bondage tape because it’s inexpen-
you, but never yank someone’s collar or sive and easy to use—you don’t even
Although they’ve become more
drag him by the neck. have to tie a knot to tie someone up.
mainstream and some people wear them
However, some practice isn’t a bad idea,
as a fashion statement, I’m old school
because ideally you want to keep it as flat
when it comes to collars. I say only wear
one if someone asks you to. A collar may
Bondage Tape: Easy on, against the skin as possible; when it
signify ownership, submission,

Easy Off bunches up, it can cause pinching. Wrap
it around wrists, arms, thighs, and ankles,
subservience, surrender, and a whole Have you ever seen a movie where
make a blindfold, tie someone to a chair.
range of other power dynamics. For someone gets tied up with duct tape? It’s
When you’re ready to set your captive
many, when a lover puts a collar around quick and easy, and good guys and bad
free, you can unroll it (which takes some
her neck, it helps her give up control and guys alike always seem to have it handy.
patience) and reuse it, or simply cut it off
become more submissive. Putting a Sure, duct tape is great for lots of things,
and throw it away.
collar on someone is also a great way to but in the real world, bondage is not one

Cuff ’Em especially true of ankles, because most
people prefer to have their partner’s legs
Wrist and ankle cuffs come in a variety of
spread for easy access! Slip a long scarf,
price ranges and styles and can be made
belt, necktie, or piece of rope through the
of nylon, vinyl, leather, rubber, or other
ring and tie each wrist or ankle to a chair,
materials. If they are not made of a soft
the slats in your headboard, the
material, consider getting cuffs that are
bedposts, or something else solid and
lined with some cushioning, such as
stable. You have other options as well for
fleece, to make them more comfortable
restraining someone, which you’ll read
(which means you or your partner can
about in the next section. If you’re
stay in them longer!). Wrap wrist cuffs
interested in rope or other types of
just above the wrist bone and secure
bondage, see the end of this chapter for
them; they usually have Velcro or
some resources.
buckles. Cuffs should not be too loose,
but they should never be tight. You can
use wrist cuffs alone, ankle cuffs, or both.
Once the cuffs are on, you have some

choices to further restrain your partner.
Each cuff has a ring on it to attach things
to, and you can use a snap hook (found
at hardware stores) or another type of clip
to attach the cuffs to each other. You can
clip cuffs together over someone’s head,
in front of her, or behind her. The
important thing is that the position you
“lock” her arms into isn’t putting too
much strain on her body. Or you may not
want his wrists together, but spread apart,
and tethered to something sturdy. This is
What about Real Handcuffs?
I’m sorry to burst your cop/criminal fantasy, but you

should never use traditional metal handcuffs in your
sex play. I still see them in people’s bedrooms and
they’re sold at sex shops, but they really are not safe to
use to restrain someone. Most handcuffs do not have a
working safety latch to keep them from closing too
tightly around the wrist; they can cut off your
circulation, cut into your wrists, and do serious damage
to someone. Keep the handcuffs around as props, but
don’t actually use them!

Bondage Kits: Create Your either side of the bed. At both ends of • Sportsheets Deluxe Door Jam Kit
Own Experience each strap is a clip that you attach the ($40): Have you ever fantasized about
nylon and Velcro cuffs to (all are being able to tie up your partner in a
Bondage kits come complete with several
included in the kit). Of course, you can standing position, but you’re not quite
different pieces that work together to
use any set of wrist and ankle cuffs ready to invest in an expensive
create a great bondage experience.
with the straps. wooden frame or you can’t drill holes
Some kits make it possible to do
for eye hooks into the molding? You
bondage in an ordinary bedroom without • The Sportsheet Bondage Bed Sheet can turn any doorway into a bondage
any fancy equipment; if you don’t have a Set ($230): Available in queen and device with this inventive kit. Slip these
slatted headboard or a four-poster bed, king size, the Sportsheet is a velvety four nylon straps with clips on one end
you can transform any ordinary bed into mattress cover. It comes with four and plastic stoppers on the other over
your own bondage playground! Here are “anchor pads,” thick pads with Velcro the top of the door and under the
some of the best kits available: that stick to the sheet and stay in bottom. Close the door, and voilà,
place; each pad has a clip on it to you’ve got a sturdy, nonpermanent
• Sportsheets Under the Bed which you can attach wrist and ankle bondage setup right in your house!
Restraint System ($45): This clever kit cuffs (or you can use your own). Once These are also great for romantic
is perfect for folks who want to be able your sweetie is clipped to the pads, he getaways, because they won’t cause
to tie someone down to the bed, but (or she) isn’t going anywhere! any damage to a hotel room.
don’t have the type of bed that you
• Liberator Shapes Black Label ($115
can attach anything to. Two long,
to $285): You read about Liberator
strong nylon straps go between the
Shapes in the previous chapter, and
mattress and the box spring or around
the same company makes a line of
the bed frame, and they can be
shapes that feature black velvety
adjusted to fit any size bed. Lay them
covers that come equipped with
vertically and the straps come around
easy-to-use bondage attachments to
the head and foot of the bed, resting
which you can clip cuffs with a special
at the top and bottom of the mattress,
quick-release clip (also made by
so you can restrain hands and feet
Liberator Shapes).
there. Lay them horizontally and
restrain someone’s arms and legs on
Tristan’s Top Picks: Bondage Toys
Best for shy beginners: Sportsheets Vanilla Bondage Kit ($10 to $15)
Most economical bondage: Tickled Pink Restraints ($14)
Best bondage kit: KinkLab Submissive Bondage Kit ($130)
Great for a bed without posts: Sportsheets Under the Bed Restraint System ($45)
Most sexy and stylish: Aslan Leather Jaguar Cuffs ($70)
Splurge purchase: Perforated Bolero Straitjacket at the Stockroom ($465)

The Super Sex Sling
This sling gives you a bondage experi-
ence without the work of attaching or
hooking something up to the bed or
doorframe. She can lie back against the
padded neck support while the suspen-
sion straps and soft Velcro cuffs hold her
legs in place. Keeping her legs sus-
pended puts her pelvis at the right angle
for him to easily thrust. The straps are
adjustable which allows for maneuver-
ability and position options. The padded
neck support and cuffs minimize tension
on the hips and back, which means you
last longer and have stronger orgasms.
Resources for Advanced Bondage
Books
Bondage for Sex by Chanta Rose
Erotic Bondage Handbook by Jay Wiseman
The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage
by Midori
Shibari You Can Use: Japanese Rope
Bondage and Erotic Macramé
by Lee Harrington
Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes
by Two Knotty Boys
Videos
Midori’s Expert Guide to Sensual Bondage
(Vivid Ed)
Nina Hartley’s Guide to Bondage Sex
(Adam & Eve)
Nina Hartley’s Guide to Erotic Bondage
(Adam & Eve)
Rope Bondage: Precision and Persuasion
with Rope (SMTech Educational)
CraCk the Whip!
Kinky Toys for Fantasy and Fetish
199
BDSM is an umbrella term that describes an intimate
journey that people take together, where they may
explore the boundaries of pain and pleasure, the limits
of their own minds and bodies, and even altered states
of consciousness.
B
DSM stands for three different, yet In chapter 17, I talked about some natural high. BDSM play may also have
related, practices: different types of sensation play, and an intense emotional component, where
most couples who practice BDSM want someone has the opportunity through
• Bondage and discipline (“B & to take sensation play to another level, role-playing to test boundaries and
D”): constraining someone and giving and/or receiving very intense explore fantasies and even fears.
punishing him or keeping him in line sensations. These same folks often like
to ride the line between pleasure and Although the previous chapter discussed
• Dominance and submission (“D/S”): bondage toys, this chapter covers some
pain. Sometimes, people who are
creating a dynamic where one of the other toys most commonly used in
unfamiliar with BDSM cannot understand
partner is dominant—he or she is in BDSM play, including nipple clamps,
how pain can be erotic, pleasurable, and
charge of the scene—and the other paddles, slappers, crops, and floggers.
actually desirable. We usually associate
is submissive—he or she submits to One important note: Anyone can
pain with physical discomfort and
the dominant experiment with these toys. You don’t
suffering. Sex is supposed to be about
feeling good, and what feels good about need to join a BDSM club or identify
• Sadism and masochism or sadomas-
pain? Well, in actuality, pain can be yourself with a BDSM community or
ochism (SM): the exploration of
extremely pleasurable for some people. lifestyle. But if you’re interested in moving
different intense physical sensations
For one thing, there can be a very fine beyond experimentation and exploring
and/or psychological and emotional
line separating pleasure and pain, and more advanced activities, I advise you to
states; sadists enjoy inflicting pain,
many people like to explore different seek out experienced folks who are into
discomfort, or punishment on others,
sensations that test the borders as well as BDSM who can show you the ropes.
and masochists enjoy receiving it
their endurance, strength, and resilience. Local BDSM organizations and stores
Second, when the body experiences pain, often sponsor workshops by some of the
Most people practice some combination
it releases endorphins, which are leading practitioners and teachers in the
of the three, although certainly some
feel-good chemicals that cause you to feel BDSM community.
may gravitate toward one more than
aroused and euphoric, kind of like a
the others.

Nipple Clamps Offer a
Pinch for Pleasure
Chests, breasts, and nipples are all
wonderful erogenous zones on our
bodies. Both men and women’s nipples
can be very sensitive, and the level of
sensitivity varies from person to person.
Lots of folks like their nipples licked,
sucked, rolled between fingers, tugged
gently, and even pinched. If you love it
when your partner plays with your nipples
Tristan’s Top Picks: BDSM Toys
and especially enjoy hard pinching, then
you may want to try a pair of nipple
clamps. Nipple clamps are small clips Nipple clamps: Spartacus Tweezer Clamps ($15 to $20)
attached to a chain, and they come in a

Paddle: Stormy Leather Gentle Persuasions Paddle ($60)
wide variety of styles. The best starter set
for beginners are tweezer-style or Slapper: Stormy Leather Slapper ($33)
adjustable nipple clamps. Other nipple
clamps, as well as other pinching Crop: Ruff Doggie Styles Heart Crop ($40)
implements (including clothespins, paper
Flogger with rubber tails: Sportsheets Rubber Whip ($8 to $20)
clips, or hair clips), are not adjustable at
all; their clamping strength might be too Flogger with leather tails: Heartwood Deerskin Suede Short
intense to start out with for a lot of Lightweight Flogger ($185)
people. Tweezer-style nipple clamps have
a small ring that lets you adjust how
much it clamps.
With adjustable clamps, you can start out

with the loosest clamping and work your
way up to a tighter and more severe
pinch. Take your partner’s nipple and rub
it until it’s hard. Place each side of the
clamp on the nipple, then slowly begin to
Crack The Whip! Kinky Toys For Fantasy And Fetish 201
slide the ring toward the nipple to tighten
it. Check in with your partner to see what
feels good. When you put a clamp on a
part of the body, you cut off the circula-
tion to that area. The nipples can get very
sensitive, so tugging on the chain
between the clamps sends a zing
throughout the body. Although it hurts to
varying degrees when you put the
clamps on and tug at them, it feels a hell
of a lot worse when the clamps come off.
The blood quickly rushes back to the
area in a big burst, and bang, your brain
You’re Worth the Splurge: Luxury Crop registers pain. So, if your partner is a
beginner, leave nipple clamps on for less
If you visit the high-end lingerie shop Agent Provocateur than a minute before you take them off.
or its website (agentprovocateur.com) and look under You can gradually work your way up to
whips in the accessories section, you’ll find a gorgeous longer amounts of time, but you shouldn’t
riding crop (yes, they’ve misnamed a crop a whip, but leave clamps on for more than 15 minutes.
we’ll forgive them). With dazzling Swarovski crystals on
the handle and a beautiful leather body, it’s one of the
best tools for your blinged-out fantasy ($225). Paddles, Slappers, and
Crops: Ouch, That’s Good
Lots of people get very turned on by
spanking. Slapping someone’s butt
cheeks can be gentle and sensual or
deliberate and painful; either way, the
consistent smacks release endorphins
into the bloodstream and fuel the body’s
arousal. Although the ass is usually the
target of a spanking, you can also slap

the thighs and other fleshy parts of the can be as much a sensory head trip as
body; always avoid bones and joints, a physical one. In general, slappers can
such as the tailbone and the back of the produce a harder slap or a stingier one
knees. In addition to the physical compared to a paddle, which has a larger
experience, getting spanked can be surface area to diffuse the impact.
punishment for being naughty, a master’s
Crops are long rods with a small flat loop
order to submit to pain, or part of another
or a solid piece of leather on the end. The
role-playing fantasy. Besides your hands,
end piece is the part you slap with, which
you can smack someone with a paddle, a
means crops have the smallest slapping
slapper, or a crop. Most of them can
area of the three.
produce a light sensation or a heavy,
painful one depending on how much
Before you introduce your sweetheart to
force is behind it.
it, it’s a good idea for you to try out a
paddle, slapper, or crop on a fleshy part
Most paddles have a broad round or oval
of your own body to get an idea of what
striking part and a short handle. Paddles
your partner is going to feel. The key to a
are made of leather, vinyl, rubber, wood,
good spanking with a paddle, slapper, or
acrylic, and other materials—generally,
crop is to start slowly, warm up the butt,
the harder the material, the more intense
and not rush to spank too hard. Begin
the sensation it can produce. They come
with very light flicks, and alternate each
in a variety of colors, and some feature
one with a nice rub of your hand. You
stars, hearts, or other shapes on them.
want to gradually build up to firmer swats.
Slappers tend to be longer, rectangular, Talk to your partner, pay attention to body
and have a more narrow spanking area. language, and pace the spanking
A slapper can be made of one single accordingly. One of my favorite spanking
piece of leather, one piece cut into toys—which is especially good for
several strips, or two pieces of leather beginners—is a paddle that’s smooth
sewn together at one end. Slappers with leather on one side and soft faux fur on
multiple pieces of leather tend to make a the other. You can alternate each strike
much louder noise than paddles, so they with a soothing rub of the sensual fur.
BDSM Resources
The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy

Floggers: From Fantasy Fantasy floggers are good for beginners by Violet Blue
to Real Deal or those interested in exploring light
flogging as part of fantasy role-playing. If The Toybag Guide to Clips and
Floggers—sometimes called cat-o’-nine-
you’re looking for a starter flogger, I Clamps by Jack Rinella
tails or simply whips—have a handle and
recommend one that is relatively short,
multiple “tails”—strips of material that are Naughty Spanking Stories from A to Z
because it’s easier to control. If you want
the same length and width. The handle edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel
leather, make sure the tails are made of a
can be made of leather, plastic, wood, or
soft leather, such as deerskin or suede.
another material, and the tails are usually Screw the Roses, Send Me the
Sportsheets also makes floggers with
made of leather or rubber. There are two Thorns: The Romance and Sexual
very thin, stretchy pieces of rubber, which
kinds of floggers: inexpensive, light Sorcery of Sadomasochism
are good for novices.
floggers (sometimes called fantasy by Philip Miller and Molly Devon
floggers) found in many sex toy stores To use a flogger you want to hold the
and expensive, handcrafted floggers The New Bottoming Book
handle and aim the ends of the tails at
geared for the serious BDSM player and by Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton
your target. You can swing the flogger
sold in leather and fetish stores. over your shoulder, then forward to the The New Topping Book
person’s body, or you can swing it by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy
Flogging can produce a range of
sideways. You should flog only the fleshy
sensation from light smacks to heavy
parts of the body, such as the butt Flogging by Joseph W. Bean
thuds, depending on the type of flogger
cheeks, thighs, and upper back; always
and the power behind the strike. Some
avoid joints, bones, the spine, the lower
people enjoy the different sensations a
back (because of the kidneys), the neck,
flogger can produce: Slaps, stings, and
and the face. Just like with spanking, you
thuds can feel good and release
want to start gently and work your way up
endorphins.
to more intensity.
Grown-up SwinG SetS:
Bedroom Gear and Sex Furniture
207
I’ve talked about lots of Get a Little Lift with There are many different positions you
Sex Swings can get into in sex swings. One is where
toys and products meant the woman sits or lies back in the swing
Sex swings are swings that look similar to
to inspire, enhance, and hammocks, but were designed especially
and the man stands in front of her. For
women who enjoy being on their backs
rev up your sex life. For for sex play and intercourse. Because
during sex but don’t like their partner’s
they must hold your body weight, they
those of you who want to are made to be hung with chain from a
weight on them, the Love Swing makes
a face-to-face, him-on-top position
go even further in your weight-bearing beam in the ceiling or
possible. She can turn over and you
used with a freestanding metal frame
consumption of sex stuff, (which is sold separately). If you find sex
can experiment with different variations
of Doggie Style. If you’ve tried sitting
in the bed has gotten boring, if you’re
listen up: There is furniture positions and like them, but find they put
looking for a dramatic way to make over
made just for sex. That’s your bedroom environment, or if the idea
too much strain on your body, the swing
is a good alternative, especially for
of having sex while being suspended in
right, it’s time to leave the people with bad backs; you can both
the air appeals to you, then you may want
comfort of your bed for sit in a swing for Cowgirl and Reverse
to invest in a sex swing ($120 to $500).
Cowgirl. Because the swing totally
the excitement of creative There are several different swings on the supports one or both partners’ bodies,
you feel almost weightless in it. Partners
shapes, sex swings, slings, market. They are usually made of nylon
and resemble a hammock, one solid piece can touch each other’s bodies, make eye
and other contraptions. with about a dozen adjustable straps on contact, and communicate.
all sides; some are simply a series of wide,
padded straps that are connected to each
other. Some have a support bar at the top
and bottom. Each swing is slightly different,
but they all operate on the same concept:
to suspend one or both partners in the air
for sex. The Bungee Sexperience ($380)
takes the concept of a sex swing and
combines it with the bouncing motion
of a bungee cord.

209
Get into Compromising There are also body slings (also called
Positions with Sex Slings travel or portable slings), which have the
straps of a swing/sling without the
Slings ($400 to $600) are a staple at
suspension ($50 to $200). One type of
BDSM and fetish parties and clubs.
body sling is a combination of a head
Slings are not that much different in
and neck support piece and long leg
concept from a swing; they, too, are
straps with stirrups on the end. This is
designed to be hung from a ceiling beam
ideal for Missionary position where she
or used with a freestanding metal frame.
wants to put her legs up on his shoul-
Unlike some swings that are a series of
ders; with the body sling, he doesn’t have
straps, slings are always one continuous
to hold her ankles or legs, so his hands
piece—made of nylon webbing or leather,
are free to do other things. With another
either solid or in a basketweave style—
type, you can actually strap your partner
and may have leg or other attachments.
to your body for more stability during
The difference between a swing and a
standing positions. JT’s Stockroom
sling is primarily aesthetic and functional.
makes a beautiful leather travel sling for
Slings tend to be sold in leather and
women ($230) with ankle and thigh cuffs
BDSM stores and appeal to people of all
and a padded neckpiece that lets you put
genders and sexual orientations; they
your partner’s body in very compromising
aren’t built just for intercourse, and they
positions without having to set up a sling!
are used most often with one partner
lying back in the sling and the other one
standing or sitting. Swings are marketed
to couples, can have more adjustable
points than a sling, and are designed with
intercourse positions in mind.
QV0067_070_006.jpg
211
Bonk’er Puts Your
Bed to Work
The Bonk’er ($450 to $800), made by a
company called Bonkum, is a piece of
sex furniture that has elements of both a
sling and a frame and you use it with your
bed. The Bonk’er works best with beds
that have frames up off the ground
slightly. It’s a metal frame with two curved
handles that look like tall, thin candy
canes. When assembled, each foot of the
frame slides under one side of your bed
frame, so that the curved handles stand
up alongside the side of the bed curving
toward each other. A long, wide piece of
leather clips into the holes at either end of
the curves; this is the “seat strap.” Also
clipped to the holes are leg straps that hang
down toward the bed. You can use the
Bonk’er to hold on to for leverage while you
have intercourse and to get into different
and unique positions. You can elevate
your partner’s body, put her legs in the
straps and into the air, bend her over the
seat strap, then hold onto the handles for
more powerful thrusting.

213
Bedroom Gear and
Sex Furniture Websites
Get the Perfect Angle with G-spot and P-spot stimulation. There are
Liberator Shapes: Liberator Shapes about a dozen different shapes, including a
LiberatorShapes.com cube for sitting positions, a half-moon shape
Liberator Shapes are very unique
that actually rocks, and a large rectangle that
products that almost no other company
Love Swing: LoveSwing.com pairs nicely with other shapes. Because of the
has been able to duplicate. They are
material, you can put shapes together and
Effortless Sex Swing: extra-firm pillows in different shapes that
they’ll stay put without slipping.
JustaSwinging.com were designed especially for sex. They
have soft, velvety covers that are
The same company also makes sex
Passion Swing: PassionSwing.com removable, water resistant, and machine
furniture, including Esse ($425 to $450),
washable. The idea behind them is
Sex Swing Store: an S-shaped chair that makes face-to-
simple: Sex is all about angles, and these
SexSwingStore.com face positions especially fun; Equus
shapes help you get the best angle
($375 to $425), a long bench that works
Extreme Restraints Sex Furniture: possible. They’re also great for people
great next to the bed; Freestyle ($275),
ExtremeRestraints.com/sex- of all sizes and shapes, and those with
an oversized Ramp with a rounded end;
furniture_167/ back pain and other mobility issues. I’ve
and Zeppelin ($360 to $600), a huge
personally used all the different shapes
circular piece that looks like a giant
Bonk’er: Bonkum.com and think they are fantastic. Have you
beanbag but has a lot more support. For
ever put a pillow under your butt to give
couples who are tired of sex in a bed, but
Monkey Rocker: MonkeyRocker.com your partner an easier time while he goes
find sex on other furniture in the house
down on you? Or do you like to put a
challenging, awkward, or uncomfortable,
pillow underneath your hips in Tailgate
Liberator Shapes are a great way to have
position? Pillows tend to sink down and
new places to do it.
slip, but the small triangular Wedge ($85)
gives you the support you need and
stays put. The larger triangular Ramp
($140) makes all sorts of positions possible
and puts your bodies at a perfect angle for

Grown-up Swing Sets: Bedroom Gear And Sex Furniture 215
217
The Bondage Liberator
Esse gives you great support to explore
a number of sexual positions. The curved
shape supports your head, neck, and
back, making it a great option for those
who have back issues and need
cushioning during vigorous thrusting.
Equipped with wrist, thigh, and ankle
cuffs and multiple attachments to lock
them down, the Esse is a playful way
to incorporate light bondage into
your sexplay.

Rock Your Way to Orgasm
with the Fetish Fantasy
Tilt Master
Sex is about movement, and hitting hot
spots like the G-spot, P-spot, and clitoris
is about having the right angles. The
Fetish Fantasy Tilt Master gives you both
the movement and the perfect angles
every time. The curved seat allows her to
comfortably relax into any position
without slipping off. The EZ-grip handles
give her support while he thrusts,
particularly in positions where her legs
are elevated or thrown over his
shoulders. The rounded bottom lets you
rock your way to an even more incredible
orgasm. Best of all, this toy is inflatable
so it discreetly tucks away after use and
can be easily packed for hot getaways.

The Liberator Wedge/
Ramp
This combo locks together to give angled
support, which is great for G-spot
stimulation. This is a great toy for making
basic positions like doggie style entry
and missionary even hotter with less
stress on the back and knees. The angle
also gives him an enticing view of your
backside, which is a real turn-on.

You’re Worth the Splurge: Monkey Rocker
The Monkey Rocker ($800 to $950) is

the ultimate sex chair for one, and a
great masturbation toy for women and
men who love penetration. Basically,
you sit on the chair, and, as you rock
back and forth, a dildo that is attached
below moves in and out of you. You
can use any harness-compatible dildo
you want, because you simply mount it
onto the movable arm piece and
secure it with an adjustable strap and a
cock ring. You control the speed and
depth with your motion. You can face
either direction, mimicking face-to-face
positions or those where your partner
enters you from behind.

Multiple Orgasms Multiple Ride it like a Rock Star
Ways with the Sybian The Star Fuck Machine is perfect for
The Sybian Sex Machine isn’t a new toy those looking for something a little wild.
but it is one that has gotten a lot of recent A round base that comes with different
attention due to its regular inclusion on sized dildo attachments it’s a great toy for
The Howard Stern Show. Essentially the vaginal or anal penetration. Mount the
Sybian is shaped like a small rounded dildo and use the remote control to find
stool that you straddle. The entire area your perfect speed and depth of strokes.
vibrates giving you great clitorial and With eight different settings you can
vulval stimulation. You can attach switch it up from slow and easy to deep
dildo-like vaginal insert which provides intense thrusting. The best thing about
penetration and rotates within the vagina. this toy is that your partner doesn’t need
Combined you have incredible to miss out on the fun. The remote
stimulation of the clitoris, G-spot, and the control is wireless and can be used from
inner and outer vagina. Multiple up to 20 feet away so you can turn the
sensations give an incredible orgasmic reins over to your partner and let them
experience. As far as sex toys go, it is decide how fast or slow to go. You get a
definitely one of the most sophisticated. great penetration experience and they get
to see you take the ride.

Wetter Is Better:
Lubricants to Enhance Your Pleasure
Lube makes everything wetter and therefore better!
Lubricants used to only be marketed very discreetly to
postmenopausal women, because after menopause,
most women experience vaginal dryness. But lube is for
people of all genders, sexual orientations, and ages. Like
many other elements of the sex toy industry, lube makers
finally caught up with consumer needs, and there is now
a wide array of lubricants from which to choose.
A
lthough the vagina may produce when your play does not include vaginal ends in a warm shower to rinse it off
enough lubrication when a or anal penetration, the idea of a dry toy because it didn’t feel good. You simply
woman is aroused, that’s not against the delicate, sensitive skin of the haven’t found the right lube for you. You’ll
always the case. Sometimes, you can be genitals just isn’t as appealing as one know when you do because it will feel
very turned on, but the amount of with a dab of lube to smooth out any warm, wet, and comfortable. Choosing
lubrication your body produces doesn’t friction against the skin. So, when playing the right lube is a very personal choice.
reflect that. How much we lubricate with toys such as vibrators, dildos, Your best bet is to get sample sizes of
depends on many different factors, wands, anal toys, and penis pumps and several different brands and try them out.
including our menstrual cycle, stress, sleeves, lube is an essential element to You may also end up with a few you like,
exercise, diet, dehydration, medications make the experience more pleasurable. or one for vaginal intercourse and
(over-the-counter and prescription), and another for anal play. There are three
drugs. Arousal and wetness don’t always go As a general rule, lube should feel good basic types of lube: oil-based, water-
hand in hand. Sometimes, the vagina does on and in your genitals. If you experience based, and silicone, and each one is
lubricate, but just not enough to make itching, burning, redness, or any kind of discussed in this chapter. Within each
penetration comfortable or to make irritation, you likely have a sensitivity or category, there are different kinds, including
intercourse sustainable for more than a allergy to one or more ingredients in the flavored, warming, and lubes with or without
few minutes. The ass does not produce lube. Everyone’s body responds certain ingredients. Read labels carefully; if
its own lubrication, so for anal play, differently to every lube. Don’t be you’re not sure what’s in a lube, ask the
lubrication is an absolute necessity. Even discouraged if your first lube adventure retailer or write to the manufacturer.
225
Why It’s Best to Give Certain Anal Lubricants a Pass
Anal Eze is one of many lubes (often with very similar names)
marketed as made especially for anal sex, to make it easier and more
comfortable. These desensitizing lubes contain benzocaine (or a
similar ingredient), a topical anesthetic—think Orajel for your butt.
They numb your butt so you can’t feel what’s going on. When you
use them, you’re more likely to go farther or take something bigger
into your ass than you’re ready for. The result: a sore ass, possible
tearing and damage to the delicate lining of the anal canal and
rectum, and pain—all things that aren’t exactly going to make you
want to rush right out and try anal sex again. Whatever you slide into
the ass will also get numb (not a good idea, either). Plus, if there is
any pleasure to be had, you won’t be able to feel it!
Desensitizing lubes reinforce the myth that anal penetration has
to be painful and that discomfort is inevitable. They are bad
products with a bad message, and I never recommend them.

Irritated? Try Natural and Some studies have linked parabens to • Good Clean Love is 95 percent
Organic Lubes weight gain, skin problems, and certain organic and includes organic
Until recently, most water-based types of cancer. If you are concerned about vegetable glycerin (which does
lubricants contained glycerin, a common parabens, read labels carefully (benzyl, butyl, not encourage yeast growth like
ingredient that helps lube retain its ethyl, isobutyl, methyl, and propyl are all synthetic glycerin), aloe vera,
consistency. However, glycerin is a kind parabens). Several lubricant makers offer seaweed, herbs, and flowers.
of sugar, and yeast feeds on sugar, so glycerin-free and paraben-free varieties,
including Astroglide Glycerin/Paraben Free, • Sliquid Organics are glycerin-free
many women find that these lubes can
ID Moments, Ride, Sliquid (all varieties), and and paraben-free lubes blended with
cause a vaginal yeast imbalance or a
Wet Naturals for Women. certified organic botanicals, aloe
yeast infection. If you are especially
vera, vitamin E, and green tea, and
prone to yeast infections, or you find that
Just as there has been a growing movement they come in earth-friendly packag-
after having sex with a water-based lube,
to buy food and beauty products with ing (the bottles are 100 percent
you begin to develop symptoms, you
natural ingredients and without harmful recyclable).
should consider a glycerin-free lube.
chemicals, many consumers want their lube
Although glycerin is still on the ingredient
to be as natural as possible. If you’re looking • Sensua Organics contain organic
list of many water-based lubes, luckily,
for lube with fewer chemical ingredients, try aloe vera, organic grapefruit seed
manufacturers responded to women’sneeds
these water-based lubes: extract, wildcrafted and pesticide-free
for an alternative. There are a growing
guar gum, and organic fruit flavors
number of glycerin-free lubes on the market, • O’My contains ginseng, guarana, and fragrances (there is also an
including Frolic, Gun Oil H2O, HydraSmooth, and gamiana, along with hemp seed unflavored version).
Liquid Silk, Maximus, and Slippery Stuff. extract, which moisturizes and
discourages the growth of yeast, • Yes is glycerin-free, paraben-free,
In addition to concerns about glycerin, in
bacteria, and fungi. and certified organic, and contains
recent years, there has been growing
pure plant extracts.
concern about the safety of parabens. • Hathor Aphrodisia is glycerin-free
Parabens are petroleum-based chemicals and contains natural botanical • Babeland Naturals contain
that discourage the growth of bacteria, and emollients. 95 percent organic ingredients,
they are commonly used as preservatives in including vegetable glycerin
cosmetics, beauty products, and lubricants. and herbs.
Wetter Is Better: Lubricants To Enhance Your Pleasure 227

Oil-Based Lubes: Good, You may spot oil-based lubricants in your Water-Based Lubes: Safe,
but Not for Everything favorite sex shop and wonder, if these are so Clean, and Versatile
(or Everyone) bad for sex, why are they here? They aren’t
bad for all kinds of sex; oil-based lubes work The majority of lubricants on the market
People often write to me and ask me
best for male masturbation and hand jobs. In are water-based. Water-based lubes are
whether it’s safe to use common
fact, some men say they prefer to mastur- nonstaining, easy to clean up, and come in a
household products for lubrication during
bate with an oil-based lube because it variety of brands with different ingredients,
masturbation or partnered sex. Products
doesn’t get sticky and lasts a long time. Most consistencies, and tastes. They are
such as lotion, baby oil, Vaseline,
oil-based lubes on the market contain compatible with all sex toy materials as
Abolene, massage oil, and olive oil are
mineral oil, coconut oil, almond oil, well as safer sex barriers such as latex
among the favorites. The biggest issue
vegetable oil, or some combination. Many of and nonlatex condoms. Popular brands
with all these items is that they contain
them are formulated with ingredients so include Astroglide, Durex, K-Y, ID Glide,
some kind of oil or combination of oils. Oil is
they won’t stain fabrics (read the label Pink Water, Probe, Swiss Navy H2O,
difficult, if not impossible, to clean up: It
carefully). Gun Oil is a popular brand, and System JO H2O, and Wet.
stains sheets and fabric, making it the least
the company makes several other oil-based
ideal for sex play. It also breaks down latex, Water-based lubes cover the spectrum in
lubes, including Jack Jelly and Stroke 29.
which can cause microscopic holes or terms of consistency: They can be thin
Other brands include Boy Butter, Elbow
obvious tears in condoms; if you’re and liquidy, medium thickness, or super
Grease, Eros Power Cream, ID Cream, Men’s
practicing safer sex with latex condoms, thick like hair gel. Thin, slippery lubes are
Cream,SwissNavyCream,andWetOilBased
gloves, or dental dams, oil-based lube makes meant to mimic vaginal fluids, and work
Body Glide. Although they may be easier to
them ineffective. It can degrade and ruin well for vaginal penetration, while thicker
clean up than household products, the rest
your favorite toys because it’s not lubes tend to stay wet longer and work
of the rules apply: Oil-based lubes are not
compatible with many sex toy materials. But better for anal penetration. The most
compatible with and should not be used
the most important thing to know is that common complaint about this kind of
with latex, many toys, and vaginas. You
oil-based lubes aren’t nice to vaginas! If any lube is that it tends to become sticky,
should reserve them for men’s solo play.
lube gets inside one, it’s impossible to clean stringy, or tacky as time goes by; it also
Or, if you are going to use them for a
it up: You can’t rinse or douche it out. It will dries up, because it gets absorbed into
hand job during partnered sex, if you
linger in a vagina, providing an ideal genital tissue. So, you need to relubri-
want to have intercourse or any kind of
environment for bacteria to grow. The result: cate—by adding saliva, water, or more
penetration afterward, make sure you
a vaginal infection, an unhappy vagina, and lube—several times, which for some
wash the lube off his hands, your hands,
no playtime for the vagina until the infection people breaks up the momentum of sex.
and his penis, then switch to another
is treated.
kind of lube.

Keep in mind that if you plan on putting artificial tastes akin to swallowing cold
your mouth where your hands, toys, or a medicine. One of the biggest issues is
penis has been, you should select a lube you that their taste isn’t delicate, so you tend
don’t mind the taste of. Some water-based to either love it or hate it. For my money,
lubes, for example, have a bitter or chemical Sliquid makes the most subtle, palatable
taste that really turns people off. If taste is a flavored lubes, and their Blue Raspberry
big issue for you, choose a flavored lube. and Green Apple are my favorites (Green
Apple is also their best-selling flavor, so
it’s not just me!).
Spice It Up with Flavored
Water-Based Lubes
Are you someone who doesn’t stick to
one sexual activity for a very long time?
Do you like to switch things up frequently,
moving from fingers, to oral, to toys, to a
little more oral, add some more fingers,
and . . . you get the idea. The last thing
your lover wants to see is your head pop
up from between her legs with an awful
look on your face. If your mouth is
frequently in the mix and you’re using Get the Best of Both Worlds
plenty of lube, you may want to consider with Hybrid Lubes
a flavored lube because you’re going to
be tasting it often. Many of the major Liquid Silk and Sliquid Silk Hybrid Formula are water-silicone
brands of lube have a flavored variety (or hybrid lubes: They combine the easy-to-clean, nonstaining
varieties), including Astroglide, ID, O’My, properties of a glycerin-free water-based lube with the staying
Sliquid, Swiss Navy, System JO, and Wet. power of a silicone lube. Liquid Silk is safe to use with most silicone
toys. Sliquid Silk Hybrid Formula is 12 percent silicone and doesn’t
I have taste-tested most of the flavored
contain parabens. Although the manufacturers play it safe and
lubes, and they aren’t exactly yummy
recommend you don’t use them with silicone toys, some people
confections—many of them are chemical,
say it’s safe with the best-quality silicone (such as Vixen and
Tantus).

Make It Hotter with
Warming Lubes
One of the latest trends in the water-
based lube marketplace is lube that
creates a warming sensation on contact,
and nearly all the major brands have
produced one. The main ingredient
differs: It might be acacia honey or a
derivative (as in Astroglide Warming
Liquid, Wet Warming Lubricant, and K-Y
Warming Liquid), menthol (as in ID
Sensation, Hot Elbow Grease, and the
glycerin-free Sliquid Sizzle), or, the most
Tips for a Quick Cleanup natural of them all, cinnamon bark (in
Emerita OH). When you apply these lubes to
When you use a lot of lube, sometimes it gets everywhere your genitals, they create a warming
and you want a quick solution to clean it up, but you want sensation that sends blood rushing to the
something safe for those delicate parts of your body. You can area, which helps the arousal process. As
use unscented alcohol-free baby wipes or wipes marked with lube in general, whether you like it is
especially for sex, such as Pleasure Wipes and Afterglow totally a matter of personal preference.
Wipes. Some people find the sensation to be subtle
and they love how it makes their private
parts tingle. Some women find that it helps
them get turned on faster. Others say the
feeling is similar to sticking Bengay in your
vagina or butt—it’s way too intense and
feels more annoying than pleasurable. Some
people like these warming lubes for vaginal
penetration but find the feeling too
overwhelming for anal penetration.

Stay Slick with
Silicone Lubes
Lubricants made with silicone are gaining
in popularity and include such brands as
Eros, Eros Gel, Astroglide X, Swiss Navy
Silicone, System JO Original, Sliquid
Silver, Gun Oil, Wet Platinum, K-Y Intrigue,
and ID Velvet. Silicone lubes are
nonstaining and often flavorless; they are
more expensive than water-based ones,
but you use a lot less of them because
they don’t dry up as easily. They tend to
Best Sellers: Top Lubes by Brand Name
be super-concentrated and a little bit
goes a long way. Many people prefer the Astroglide, astroglide.com
slick texture of silicone and the fact that it Eros, erosgel.com
doesn’t get sticky or tacky, as some
Good Clean Love, goodcleanlove.com
water-based lubes can. Silicone lubes work
with condoms and other safer-sex barriers as ID, idlube.com
well as some sex toy materials, including
K-Y, k-y.com
PVC, rubber, glass, hard plastic, acrylic, and
metal. However, silicone lubes are NOT Liquid Silk and Maximus, liquidsilk.com
compatible with CyberSkin or silicone sex Pink, empoweredproducts.com
toys and will ruin them. So if you’re a fan of
Pjur, pjurusa.com
these sex toy materials, you either need to
cover your toys with condoms to protect Slippery Stuff, slipperystufflube.com
them or use a different kind of lube. Silicone Sliquid, sliquid.com
lube is perfect for sex in a shower or bath
Swiss Navy, swissnavylube.com
because it stays slick underwater, while
water-based lubes don’t. System JO, systemjo.com
Wet, wetinternational.com

toy Care, CleanIng,
and safety
Practicing Safer Sex partner’s STI status, then you should batteries quickly, so I recommend
practice safer sex to protect yourself, top-quality name-brand alkaline batteries;
Just because a sex toy is an inanimate
including playing with toys safely. If a off-brand batteries that come free with
object doesn’t mean you cannot catch
toy is made of a porous material, then toys are often lower quality and shouldn’t
something from it! When we use sex toys,
you should either not share it or put a be used. Follow instructions about
they may come into contact with many of
new condom on it each time you use it. putting batteries in a toy, because most
your and your partner’s bodily fluids,
If a toy is made of a nonporous toys require a specific configuration for
including semen, vaginal fluids, female
material, as long as you sterilize it, them to work properly.
ejaculate, rectal bacteria, and even fecal
you can share it. Play safe!
matter and blood. These fluids carry
People have different opinions about and
sexually transmitted infections (STIs),
experiences with using regular batteries
which can be passed on when one
Care and Cleaning or the kind you can recharge. Some say
partner comes into contact with an
that as long as you remove them after
infected partner’s fluids. It’s difficult—and, The key to maintaining your toys and
each use, rechargeable batteries work
in the case of some STIs, very rare—for having them last a long time is to care for
just as well as regular batteries. Others
people to transmit an STI through sharing them like you would any other important
say that rechargeable batteries lose
sex toys, because most STIs do not live tools: Clean, care for, and store them
power faster or have less power to begin
very long outside the body, but it is properly. For rechargeable toys, always
with, which is problematic for vibrators
possible. Thinking about all these fluids follow the charging instructions that come
that need a lot, so these toys just don’t
and infection may not sound sexy, but with them; usually, you must fully charge
run as well. Each time you charge them,
you need to think about safer sex the toy when you get it home before you
rechargeable batteries can hold less
practices when using sex toys. use it. Some vibrators, such as the Form
power, which can cause them to die out
6, require a full 8 hours of charging time
quicker. Whichever you choose, the most
Let’s say you are in a monogamous when you first get it, so make sure you
important thing is, always have some
relationship, have tested negative for plan ahead! I like to label the charger
more handy!
all sexually transmitted infections— plug for each specific toy with a piece of
gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, herpes, tape, so that I don’t get all my different In discussing cleaning recommendations,
HPV, hepatitis, and HIV—and regularly chargers confused! Always store your I will make an important distinction: You
have unprotected sex with your partner. battery-operated toys with the batteries can clean any toy (washing it for hygienic
You can share a nonporous toy with a removed, and make sure you change old purposes) and you can sterilize some
partner after you clean and disinfect it. batteries promptly. There’s nothing worse toys depending on what they’re made of
If it’s an anal toy, you should still sanitize than running out of juice just when you (so that they may be shared with
it. If you don’t know your own or your need it most! Vibrators tend to drain someone). Educate yourself about what
233
kind of toy you have and what it’s made toy. Many of the thermal plastics, minutes. Allow them to air-dry, because
of. For example, a waterproof toy can be (including the Real Feel Super Skin of the drying them with any kind of towel often
submerged in water, whereas a water- Fleshlight) require a two-step process. leads to lint clinging to the toys. Because
resistant toy won’t be damaged by some Right after you use the toy, you should these toys can be disinfected, they can
water on it, but it cannot be submerged rinse it with warm water only and allow it be shared with other partners once they
or soaked. When reading the following, to air-dry thoroughly. Then, cover the are thoroughly sanitized. Store them in a
note that no toys with electrical compo- entire thing with cornstarch—it must be cool, dry place; they can be stored with
nents should be soaked, boiled, or put in cornstarch, not baby powder or talc—and other silicone toys, but shouldn’t be in the
the dishwasher. These toys should be dust off the excess. If you skip the same bag, box, or drawer with toys made
wiped down only. When storing your toys, cornstarch step, the toy becomes of other soft materials. A bag or case
keep them out of direct sunlight, away incredibly sticky, picking up dirt and lint lined with satin or another silky material is
from heating sources, and in a place with instantly! Store it in a cool, dry place ideal for silicone, because it can easily
some air circulation but not a lot of away from other toys, because other pick up lint, dust, hair, and fuzz.
moisture. materials can often react with thermal
plastic and melt it. Thermal plastics are Hard plastics and acrylic: Hard
Latex, PVC, vinyl, elastomer, TPR, porous, so you should not share these plastics include resin, urethane, PVC
and other soft materials: Because all toys with other people; if you want to, (without softeners), and any other solid
of these materials are porous to some cover them with a condom first. plastics; hard plastic toys run the gamut
degree (with PVC and jelly rubber being between those that are porous and those
the most porous), they can be cleaned Silicone: Unlike all other soft sex toy that aren’t. All of them may be cleaned
but not sterilized. In other words, you can materials, medical-grade and platinum with warm water and a mild antibacterial
wash off lube, residue, and most bodily silicones are not porous, much easier to soap or a sex toy cleaner. Unless the
fluids, but some may linger in the nicks clean, and can be sterilized. You can manufacturer states that the plastic is
and minute crevices that are often clean them with hot water and antibacte- medical-grade and nonporous, assume
present in these materials. Wash them rial soap or a sex toy cleaner. You can that it cannot be sterilized. Caring
with warm water and mild soap or use a sanitize them in a number of different properly for acrylic toys is very important
sex toy cleaner. If you want to share one ways. Let them soak for a few minutes in if you want to maintain their crystal clear
of these toys, you should cover it with a a diluted bleach solution of 10 parts water transparency and finish. They’re nonpo-
new condom for each partner. to 1 part bleach, then rinse them very rous and tough (nearly unbreakable), but
well. You can put them in the top rack of they can be easy to scratch. To sterilize,
CyberSkin: Not all thermal plastics are the dishwasher without detergent or soak them in a diluted bleach solution
the same, so you should always follow place them in boiling water for about 3 (10 parts water to 1 part bleach), then
the cleaning instructions that come with a

rinse them well. Don’t boil them or run comes with the toy). Never put two glass
them through the dishwasher, and never toys in one bag, because they can bang
wipe them down with alcohol because it together. Quality glass toys should be
will ruin the material by causing tiny tough and resilient; however, if one ever
cracks throughout it. Let acrylic air-dry develops a chip or nick, stop using it and
thoroughly or use a very soft cloth—never throw it away immediately.
use a paper towel or toilet paper,
because they can scratch the surface. Aluminum, stainless steel, and other
Store toys in something soft, such as a metals: Metal can be cleaned with warm
sock or a velvet or satin bag (which often water and antibacterial soap and
comes with the toy). These toys are sterilized with diluted bleach solution
nonporous and can be shared after (10:1) or alcohol, or by washing in the top
they’re properly cleaned and disinfected. rack of the dishwasher without detergent.
Metal toys must be dried completely to
Glass: Glass toys are also nonporous prevent rusting, especially those that are
and can be used by different partners as not one single piece but several joined
long as you sterilize them. You can clean together. Store metal toys away from light
them with warm water and antibacterial in their own soft bag or a sock to protect
soap or a sex toy cleaner and disinfect them from other toys, especially other
them by soaking them in a diluted bleach hard materials such as glass.
solution (10 parts water to 1 part bleach)
or alcohol. Let them air-dry or wipe them Exotic materials: Throughout this book
down with a soft cloth. Although I there have been mentions of unique,
recommend that you buy only Pyrex or exotic, and luxury sex toy materials,
borosilicate glass toys, there are toys on including wood, ceramic, granite, gold,
the market made of lesser grades of and platinum. For these and any
glass. If you know the toy is borosilicate other materials not listed here, always
glass, then you can put it in the top rack follow cleaning instructions from
of the dishwasher without detergent on a the manufacturer.
gentle setting to sterilize it. Store each toy
in its own separate soft bag to protect it,
preferably a cushioned bag (which often
Toy Care, Cleaning, And Safety 235

Building Your
ToY Box
Your Guide to Storage under the bed; this way, you can slide it out • Devine Toy Storage (devinetoys.
Solutions when you’re ready to play and hide it away com): From the stylish Condom
when you’re done. Several companies Cube to the Devine Satchel, Devine
It’s important to keep your toys in a cool,
specialize in storage solutions for your makes a line of storage products of
dry place away from sunlight, dust, pet
sex toys: faux crocodile skin and other fabrics.
hair, and anything else that can prevent
them from being clean. It’s also a good
• For Your Nymphomation
idea to find somewhere safe to keep
(foryournymphomation.com): Must-Have Items for
them out of sight from roommates, kids,
This company has some of the most Your Toy Box
pets, and anyone else who might be
stylish, versatile, and well-designed
poking around. Children are endlessly • Lube
cases and toy boxes, many designed
curious about what’s in their parents’
for travel as well. From a small • Massage oil or bar
bedroom, and if you’re not ready to have
condom purse to a rolling toy trunk,
the “What’s a dildo?” discussion, then • Safer sex supplies
the cases are made of faux leather
make sure you follow your own rule: Put
with water-resistant nylon linings that
your toys away. Dogs assume that all rubber • Body wipes
are easy to clean. They have lots of
toys are theirs, and when your shih tzu trots
ingenious little pockets and compart-
into the living room with a butt plug in her • Sex toy cleaner
ments that attach with Velcro and are
mouth during a party, you might be a little
interchangeable; plus, all the cases • Towel
embarrassed (plus, now your butt plug has
come with locks for added security.
teeth marks in it). Some people have a • Batteries
The zipper pulls glow in the dark, so
special drawer in their nightstand for all their
they’re easy to find when you’re right
toys or a designated shelf in a cabinet or the • Erotic book or DVD
in the middle of a hot encounter!
closet. The Hide Your Vibe Pillow by
• Mouthwash or mints
Sportsheets has a hidden pocket designed • ToiBocks (toibocks.com):
to hold a favorite toy or two, and the Sugar Disguised as jewelry boxes, tissue • Extension cord
Sak is a satin bag with a lining that inhibits box covers, and other common items
the growth of mold, bacteria, and viruses. that don’t look out of place in a
bedroom, these handcrafted wooden
If, like me, you have a sex toy collection that
boxes are perfect for storing your
has grown too big for just one drawer, you
favorite lube, safer sex supplies,
have a few options. You can buy a large
DVDs, and a few toys.
rectangular storage bin designed to go
237
resourCe guIde
Books
The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Sex Em & Lo’s Sex Toy: An A-Z Guide to The Many Joys of Sex Toys: The Ultimate
Toys by Violet Blue (San Francisco: Cleis Bedside Accessories by Em & Lo (San How-to Handbook for Couples and
Press, 2006). Francisco: Chronicle Books, 2006). Singles by Anne Semans (New York:
Broadway Books, 2004).
The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot by
Strap-On Sex by Violet Blue (San Deborah Sundahl (Alameda, CA: Hunter Never Have the Same Sex Twice: A Guide
Francisco: Cleis Press, 2007). House, 2003). For Couples by Alison Tyler (San
Francisco: Cleis Press, 2008).
Anal Pleasure and Health: A Guide for Getting Off: A Woman’s Guide to
Men and Women by Jack Morin, PhD Masturbation by Jamye Waxman Nina Hartley’s Guide to Total Sex by Nina
(San Francisco: Down There Press, (Berkeley, CA: Seal Press, 2007). Hartley with I. S. Levine (New York: Avery,
1998). 2006).
The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex: The
Becoming Orgasmic: A Sexual and Most Complete Sex Manual Ever Written Orgasms for Two: The Joy of Partnersex
Personal Growth Program for Women by by Cathy Winks and Anne Semans (San by Betty Dodson (New York: Harmony
Julia Heiman and Joseph LoPiccolo (New Francisco: Cleis Press, 2002). Books, 2002).
York: Fireside Books, 1987).
Guide to Getting It On (5th ed.) by Paul Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving by
Dr. Sprinkle’s Spectacular Sex: Make Over Joannides (Waldport, OR: Goofy Foot Betty Dodson (New York: Three Rivers
Your Love Life with One of the World’s Press, 2006). Press, 1996).
Great Sex Experts by Annie Sprinkle (New
York: Tarcher/Penguin, 2005). Healing Sex: A Mind-Body Approach to Sex Toys 101: A Playfully Uninhibited
Healing Sexual Trauma by Staci Haines Guide by Rachel Venning and Claire
The Elusive Orgasm: A Woman’s Guide to (San Francisco: Cleis Press, 2007). Cavanah (New York: Fireside, 2003).
Why She Can’t and How She Can Orgasm
by Vivienne Cass (Cambridge, MA: Da I Love Female Orgasm by Dorion Solot SM 101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay
Capo Press, 2007). and Marshall Miller (Cambridge, MA: Da Wiseman (Oakland, CA: Greenery Press,
Capo Press, 2007). 1998).

Videos
Toygasms! The Insider’s Guide to Sex Bend Over Boyfriend directed by Shar Nina Hartley’s Guide to Masturbation
Toys and Techniques by Sadie Allison Rednour (Fatale Video, 1998). directed by Ernest Greene (Adam & Eve,
(San Francisco: Tickle Kitty Press, 2003). 2004).
Bend Over Boyfriend 2: More Rockin’,
The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Men by Less Talkin’ directed by Shar Rednour Nina Hartley’s Guide to Strap-on Sex
Bill Brent (San Francisco: Cleis Press, and Jackie Strano (S.I.R. Video/Fatale directed by Ernest Greene (Adam & Eve,
2002). Media, 1999). 2006).
The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women Better Sex Video Series Volume 3: Erotic The Orgasm Doctor directed by Betty
(2nd ed.) by Tristan Taormino (San Sex Play & Beyond (Sinclair Intimacy Dodson (Betty Dodson, 2008).
Francisco: Cleis Press, 2006). Institute, 2005).
Personal Touch #1: Toying with Pleasure
The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability Celebrating Orgasm: Women’s Private directed by Jamye Waxman (Adam &
by Miriam Kaufman, Cory Silverberg, and Selfloving Sessions directed by Betty Eve, 2007).
Fran Odette (San Francisco: Cleis Press, Dodson (Betty Dodson, 1996).
2007). Selfloving: Portrait of a Woman’s Sexuality
The Expert Guide to Anal Sex directed by Seminar directed by Betty Dodson (Betty
The Ultimate Guide to Strap-on Sex by Tristan Taormino (Vivid-Ed, 2007). Dodson, 2005).
Karlyn Lotney (San Francisco: Cleis
Press, 2000). The Expert Guide to Anal Pleasure for Toys for Better Sex (Sinclair Intimacy
Men directed by Tristan Taormino Institute, 2002).
(Vivid-Ed, 2009).
Nina Hartley’s Advanced Guide to Sex

Toys directed by Nina Hartley (Adam &
Eve, 2001).
239
Stores 200 N. Jefferson Street 8618 Melrose Avenue
The following are a selection of sex- Milwaukee, WI 53202 Los Angeles, CA 90069
positive retail sex toy stores. Many of 414-221-0400 310-652-0311
them are women-owned and run, and all
are women- and couples-friendly. Babeland Come As You Are
babeland.com comeasyouare.com
A Little More Interesting 800-658-9119 701 Queen Street West
alittlemoreinteresting.com 707 East Pike Street Toronto, Ontario M6J 1E6
1501B 17th Avenue SW Seattle, WA 98122 Canada
Calgary, Alberta T2T 0E2 206-328-2914 877-858-3160
Canada
94 Rivington Street
403-475-7775 Early to Bed
New York, NY 10002
212-375-1701 early2bed.com
Aphrodite’s Toy Box 5232 N. Sheridan
aphroditestoybox.com 43 Mercer Street
Chicago, IL 60640
3040 N. Decatur Road New York, NY 10013
773-271-1219
Scottdale, GA 30079 212-966-2120
404-292-9700 462 Bergen Street Eros Boutique
Brooklyn, NY 11217 erosboutique.com
Art of Loving 718-638-3820 581A Tremont Street
artofloving.ca Boston, MA 02118
1819 West Fifth Avenue Coco de Mer 866-425-0345
Vancouver, British Columbia V6J 1P5 Coco-de-mer.com
Canada 23 Monmouth Street Fascinations
604-742-9988 Covent Garden fascinations.net
London WC2H 9DD Stores throughout Arizona,
A Woman’s Touch +44 (0)20 7836 8882 Colorado, and Oregon
a-womans-touch.com See website for locations
108 Draycott Avenue
888-621-8880
South Kensington
600 Williamson Street
London SW3 3AE
Madison, WI 53703
+44 (0)20 7584 7615
608-250-1928

Forbidden Fruit Hysteria Oh My: A Sensuality Shop
forbiddenfruit.com hysteriashop.com ohmysensuality.com
512 Neches 114 S. Broadway 2c Conz Street
Austin, TX 78701 Denver, CO 80209 Northampton, MA 01060
800-315-2029 303-733-3373 413-584-9669
Good for Her It’s My Pleasure Passional Toys

goodforher.com 4258 SE Hawthorne Boulevard passional.net
175 Harbord Street Portland, OR 97215 620 S. 5th Street
Toronto, Ontario M5S 1H3 503-236-0505 Philadelphia, PA 19147
Canada 215-829-4986
416-588-0900 JT’s Stockroom
stockroom.com The Pleasure Chest
Good Vibrations 2807 W. Sunset Boulevard pleasurechest.com
goodvibes.com Los Angeles, CA 90026 156 Seventh Avenue South
800-289-8423 800-755-8697 New York, NY 10014
603 Valencia Street 212-242-2158
San Francisco, CA 94110 Miko 3436 North Lincoln Avenue
415-522-5460 mikoexoticwear.com Chicago, IL 60657
1620 Polk Street 268 Wickenden Street 773-525-7151
San Francisco, CA 94109 Providence, RI 02903
7733 Santa Monica Boulevard
415-345-0400 401-421-9787
West Hollywood, CA 90046
2504 San Pablo Avenue 323-650-1022
Nomia Boutique
Berkeley, CA 94702
nomiaboutique.com
510-841-8987 The Rubber Rose
24 Exchange Street, Suite 215
308-A Harvard Street therubberrose.com
Portland, ME 04101
Brookline, MA 02446 3812 Ray Street
207-773-4774
617-264-4400 San Diego, CA 92104
619-296-7673
Resource Guide 241

Self Serve Toys The Tool Shed Womyns’ Ware
selfservetoys.com toolshedtoys.com womynsware.com
3904B Central Avenue SE 2427 N. Murray Avenue 896 Commercial Drive
Albuquerque, NM 87108 Milwaukee, WI 53211 Vancouver, British Columbia V5L 3Y5
505-265-5815 414-906-5304 Canada
604-254-2543
Smitten Kitten Tulip Toy Gallery
smittenkittenonline.com mytulip.com
3010 Lyndale Avenue South 1480 W. Berwyn Avenue
Minneapolis, MN 55408 Chicago, IL 60640
888-751-0523 877-70-TULIP
Spartacus Venus Envy

spartacusstore.com venusenvy.ca
300 SW 12th Avenue 1598 Barrington Street
Portland, OR 97205 Halifax, Nova Scotia B3J 1Z6
503-224-2604 Canada
902-422-0004
Stormy Leather 320 Lisgar Street
stormyleather.com Ottawa, Ontario K2P 0E2
1158 Howard Street Canada
San Francisco, CA 94103 613-789-4646
800-486-9650
Wink
Sugar winkkc.com
sugartheshop.com 1415 W. 39th Street
927 W. 36th Street Kansas City, MO 64111
Baltimore, MD 21211 816-931-WINK
410-467-2632

Sex Toy Retail Websites Sex Toy Home Party Top Sex Toy Brands
AdamEve.com Companies Aneros: prostate toys
Athena’s Home Novelties Aneros.com
AllGlassSexToys.com (athenashn.com)
Blowfish.com Aslan Leather: strap-on

Bedroom Magic
harnesses, bondage toys
(bedroommagic.com)
EdenFantasies.com AslanLeather.com
Booty Parlor Parties
ExtremeRestraints.com
(bootyparlorparties.com) Big Teaze Toys: disguised,
GlassFantasy.com hands-free, unique vibrators
Essence of Romance BigTeazeToys.com
LiberatorShapes.com (essenceofromance.com)
California Exotic Novelties: large
Libida.com For Your Pleasure
mainstream adult novelty company
(foryourpleasure.com)
MyPleasure.com CalExotics.com
Just A Little Naughty
SexSwingStore.com (justalittlenaughty.com) Doc Johnson: large mainstream
adult novelty company
Sportsheets.com Intimate Expressions
DocJohnson.com
(intimate-expressions.com)
Vibrator.com
Passion Parties Eroscillator: Eroscillator vibrators
Xandria.com Eroscillator.com
(passionparties.com)
Pure Romance Fleshlight: Fleshlight penis sleeves

(pureromance.com) Fleshlight.com
Slumber Parties
For Your Nymphomation: sex toy
(slumberparties.com)
storage solutions
ForYourNymphomation.com
Resource Guide 243

Fun Factory: silicone vibrators, Njoy: stainless steel dildos, Sportsheets: bondage toys,
dildos, butt toys wands, and plugs harnesses, accessories
FunFactory.de NjoyToys.com Sportsheets.com
Jimmyjane: luxury sex toys and Nob Essence: wooden dildos Stormy Leather: harnesses,
accessories and wands bondage toys, leatherwear
Jimmyjane.com NobEssence.com StormyLeather.com
Jollies: silicone dildos, butt plugs, OhMiBod: MP3- and cell Tantus: silicone and metal toys
vibrating dildos, cock rings phone-compatible vibrators TantusSilicone.com
JolliesPleasureToys.com OhMiBod.com
Topco: large mainstream adult
Kegelcisor: vaginal barbells One Up Innovations: Liberator Shapes novelty company
Kegelcisor.com LiberatorShapes.com TopcoSales.us
Lelo: luxury vibrators, cock rings, Pipedream: large mainstream adult Vibratex: dual-action and
prostate toys novelty company compact vibrators
Lelo.com PipedreamProducts.com Vibratex.com
Natural Contours: ergonomic, Phallix: glass toys Vixen Creations: silicone dildos,
compact, and wand vibrators PhallixGlass.com butt plugs, toys
Natural-Contours.com VixenCreations.com
PyreXions: glass toys
Nectar Products: Crystal Wand Pyrexions.com We-Vibe: We-Vibe wearable vibrator
LoveNectar.com We-Vibe.com
Rocks Off: dual-action G-spot
Nexus: prostate and G-spot toys and P-spot vibrators
NexusProstateMassagers.com rocks-off.uk.com

Sex Ed Websites Sexuality.org
Founded by the Society for Human
Dodsonandross.com
Sexuality, this website contains an
This is the online home of author,
abundance of articles, advice, and
sexologist, and masturbation coach
resources for all things sexual.
Betty Dodson and sex-positive activist
Carlin Ross.
Sfsi.org
Got a question you’re too embarrassed
Nina.com
to ask anyone else? San Francisco Sex
Adult film star and sex educator Nina
Information to the rescue! This nonprofit
Hartley’s official website contains
organization’s website offers free,
message boards where you can ask
confidential, accurate, nonjudgmental
questions about anal sex and information
information about sex.
about her sex ed video series.
Tinynibbles.com
Puckerup.com
Sex educator and author Violet Blue’s
Tristan Taormino’s sex advice website
website contains smart, sexy advice on
contains an archive of hundreds of
all things sexual, including sex toys.
questions and answers about anal sex,
information about her books and videos,
Vivid-Ed.com
and sex advice message boards.
The educational imprint of Vivid
Entertainment Group, Vivid-Ed produces
sex ed videos for a new generation.
Resource Guide 245

aCknoWledgments
I want to thank Jill Alexander, Rosalind Wanke, John Gettings, Jennifer Grady, Susan
Hershberg, Karen Levy, Christina Antoniades, Will Kiester, and everyone at Quiver Books
for their hard work on this book. Thanks to all the fantastic models and to Luciana
Pampalone for her gorgeous and inspired photography. Thanks to Cory Silverberg from
Come As You Are in Toronto for his contribution to the book and Sarah Sloane and Colten
Tognazzini for all their assistance.
Several amazing companies sent us the majority of the toys and accessories which
appear in the book, and I want to thank them: Tony Levine and Pamela McKee at Big
Teaze Toys (bigteazetoys.com) for the Onye and Tuyo; Greg DeLong of NJoy (njoytoys.
com) for the gorgeous metal toys; Vixen Creations (vixencreations.com) for the silicone
dildos and plugs; Carrie Gray at Aslan Leather (aslanleather.com) for the strap-on
harnesses; Jordan at Bonkum (bonkum.com) for the amazing Bonk’er; Inge at Advanced
Response Corporation for the Eroscillator (eroscillator.com); Don Cohen at OneUp
Innovations for the Liberator Shapes (liberatorshapes.com); Deanna Moen at Jimmyjane
(Jimmyjane.com) for the Form 6 and the Iconic Ring; Alisa Richmond at Vibratex (vibratex.
com) for the vibrators; John Richardson at Aneros (aneros.com) for the prostate toys;
Amy Pomering at Outlaw Leather (outlawseattle.com) for the strap-on harness; Emily at
Sportsheets (sportsheets.com); Betty Dodson (bettydodson.com) for Betty’s Barbell; Hilda
Brownlee from Standard Innovation Corporation for the We-Vibe (we-vibe.com); Pamela
from Babeland for the SaSi (babeland.com); Alicia from NobEssence (nobessence.com)
for the wooden toys; Coyote Days at Good Vibrations for the vibrators and bath goodies
(goodvibes.com); Dawn at ToiBocks (toibocks.com) for the wooden storage box; Mario
from JT’s Stockroom (stockroom.com); and the folks at OhMiBod (ohmibod.com).

aBout tHe autHor
Tristan Taormino is an award-winning author, columnist, editor, sex educator, and adult
film director. She is the author of five books: The Anal Sex Position Guide, Opening Up:
Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships, True Lust: Adventures in Sex, Porn and
Perversion, Down and Dirty Sex Secrets, and The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women.
She wrote the popular Village Voice syndicated sex column “Pucker Up,” for more than
nine years, and she is a columnist for Hustler’s Taboo. She is the creator and original
series editor of Best Lesbian Erotica, which has won three Lambda Literary Awards. She
runs her own adult film production company, Smart Ass Productions, and has directed
more than a dozen adult films. She is currently an exclusive director for Vivid
Entertainment. For Vivid, she directs a reality series called Chemistry and the vignette
series Rough Sex, and helms its sex education imprint, Vivid-Ed, for which she has written,
produced, and directed several titles, including The Expert Guide to Anal Sex, The Expert
Guide to Oral Sex 1: Cunnilingus, The Expert Guide to Oral Sex 2: Fellatio, and The Expert
Guide to the G-Spot. Tristan has been featured in more than two hundred publications;
has appeared on CNN, HBO’s Real Sex, The Howard Stern Show, Loveline, Ricki Lake,
MTV, Fox News, The Discovery Channel; and has been on more than six dozen radio
shows. She lectures on sexuality, gender, feminism, and pornography at top colleges and
universities, including Brown, Cornell, Columbia, Sarah Lawrence, Yale, Vassar, Smith,
Wesleyan, New York University, University of California/Santa Barbara, and University of
Wisconsin/Milwaukee. She teaches sex and relationship workshops around the world and
runs two websites, Puckerup.com and Openingup.net. She lives in upstate New York with
her partner and their three dogs.
Use Sex
Toys to Turn Up the
Excitement!
Are you looking to take your sex life from everyday to extraordinary?
The Big Book of Sex Toys covers the hottest hardware for taking your sex life to
the next level. Whether you’re looking to liven up solo sex, hit hot spots more easily,
give your partner new sensations or add new twists to classic positions, inside you’ll
find every toy imaginable from mild to wild.
Wearable vibrators that give you a buzz all day long
Sex furniture and swing sets that make your bedroom the ultimate playground
Fun accoutrements that put the sizzle in sensation play
Sexy photos take the guesswork out of how to integrate toys with positions,
oral sex, and hand moves, plus how to get in and out of strap-ons,
slings, and swings like a pro. Whether you want to buy your first toy
or are looking for exciting new ways to expand your collection,
this book will change your sex life and charge it
with new fun.
ISBN-13: 978-1-59233-355-4
Sexuality ISBN-10: 1-59233-355-9
$19.99 US
EAN
UPC
$24.99 CAN
www.quiverbooks.com

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THE

First published in the USA in 2009 by

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Taormino, Tristan, 1971-

1. Sex toys. 2. Sex instruction. 3. Sexual excitement. I. Title.

Cover and book design: Traffic

Printed and bound in Singapore

4 THE BIG BOOK OF SEX TOYS

82 Chapter 8 • Look Ma, No Hands:

94 Chapter 9 • Work Your Way In with

48 Chapter 5 • All About Vibrators

178 Chapter 17 • Ignite Your Senses 238 Resource Guide

198 Chapter 19 • Crack the Whip!:

206 Chapter 20 • Grown-Up Swing

224 Chapter 21 • Wetter Is Better:

10 THE BIG BOOK OF SEX TOYS

14 THE BIG BOOK OF SEX TOYS

The clitoral hood is the skin that protects

Female sexual anatomy

Sexual Anatomy: Your Key To Pertinent Parts 15

16 THE BIG BOOK OF SEX TOYS

coronal ridge frenulum

Male sexual anatomy

Sexual Anatomy: Your Key To Pertinent Parts 17

18 THE BIG BOOK OF SEX TOYS

Sexual Anatomy: Your Key To Pertinent Parts 19

For a woman who’s never masturbated

22 THE BIG BOOK OF SEX TOYS

Using a toy while you masturbate is also

Sex Toys: Your Path To Solo And Partnered Pleasure 23

Sex Toys: Your Path To Solo And Partnered Pleasure 25

Some people believe that doing PC muscle exercises with something

Heavier but not as thick as eggs, vaginal barbells are recommended by

Betty’s Vaginal Barbell

Sex Toys: Your Path To Solo And Partnered Pleasure 27

28 THE BIG BOOK OF SEX TOYS

Research has shown that the majority

For long-term couples, toys can be that

Sex Toys: Your Path To Solo And Partnered Pleasure 29

Liberator Shapes, swings, and slings can

30 THE BIG BOOK OF SEX TOYS

1. Explore something new: It’s easy to get bored or complacent in a long-term

8. Go for more: Whether you want to learn how to become multiorgasmic or it

Sex Toys: Your Path To Solo And Partnered Pleasure 31

34 THE BIG BOOK OF SEX TOYS

Shopping: How To Choose The Best Toys For You 35

36 THE BIG BOOK OF SEX TOYS

Shopping: How To Choose The Best Toys For You 37

38 THE BIG BOOK OF SEX TOYS

Shopping: How To Choose The Best Toys For You 39

42 THE BIG BOOK OF SEX TOYS

Phthalates are added to polyvinyl chloride (PVC) to make it

44 THE BIG BOOK OF SEX TOYS

One of the best things about glass is its

46 THE BIG BOOK OF SEX TOYS

Betty’s Vaginal Barbell

50 THE BIG BOOK OF SEX TOYS

OhMiBod and Naughtibod

52 THE BIG BOOK OF SEX TOYS

Like other “firsts,” buying your first vibrator is a big deal!