ALL WE LOVE

WE LEAVE
BEHIND
a roleplaying game of letter writing
for a solitary player
Adam X Vass
World Champ Game Co.
October 2017

The reference to any companies, products, characters, television shows,

motion pictures, or other properties in this book is not meant to challenge
the trademarks or copyrights concerned.

Thematic inspiration: Converge “All We Love We Leave Behind” album.

Used with permission. More info at www.convergecult.com

All paintings used on the cover, interior, and related promotional materials
are in the public domain and made available by The Metropolitan Museum
of Art through their February 2017 policy of “Open Access,” which
allows images of these works to be used for any purpose, commercial and
noncommercial, for free and without requiring permission.
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 CONTENTS
An Introduction 3
What You Need 4
Establishing Your Characters 5
Writing Your Letters 7
Randomizing & Resolving 9
End Game 12
Gamemaster Variant 13
Setting Hacks 16
Hardboiled - 18
Sleepaway - 20
The Sun Amidst Small Stars - 22

Case Studies 24
Lost Moon by Chris Conlon - 25
A Simple Bliss by Cody Flowers - 33
DISTANCE FROM OUR SUN: 20,922,113,781 KM by Bee Walsh - 39

Blank Detail Sheet 47

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 An Introduction
All We Love We Leave Behind (AWLWLB) is a single-player RPG
examining longing, loss, and love. In this game, you will play the Writer,
a character who stays home when the Absent, someone they love (a parent,
spouse, sibling, friend, etc,) must leave. You will write letters in character as
the Writer to the Absent, but you will not receive any in return. AWLWLB
is meant to explore feelings of uncertainty, absence, and isolation, your
letters hopefully will reflect that. When you’ve finished playing, you will be
able to go back and read the letters in chronological order and watch your
character’s evolution, whether that be for good or ill.
This game would not have been possible without a few key
influences. Firstly, AWLWLB is of course named after the 2012 album of
the same name by Converge available from Deathwish Records. While this
game (especially the rulebook) might be unable to match the intensity of
this record, I hope you approach your letters with the same honesty and
power, you will surely get more out of the experience that way.
Originally, this game was called Why Do They Leave? after the song
by Ryan Adams on his 2000 album Heartbreaker. The tone of this game
may more accurately match that of this song, but I considered All We Love
We Leave Behind a more evocative title. I also think calling the game Why
Do They Leave? would’ve shifted the focus to the Absent instead of making
your Writer the main character. AWLWLB keeps that focus on the emotions
involved and better represents the core idea of this project. Heartbreaker
is a great record nonetheless and worth mentioning as a catalyst for this
project.
Quill is a letter-writing game by Scott Malthouse that was very
influential on this game’s development, the core functionality of writing
real letters in-character to a person who doesn’t exist is explicitly derivative
of Quill. Great artists steal. You’ll find that structurally or mechanically, our
games have little else in common, but if you enjoy this game experience,
Quill is certainly worth looking into. At the time of this writing, it is available
as pay-what-you-want on DriveThruRPG.com so you have nothing to lose.
Apocalypse World is another great influence with its partial success
mechanic that you’ll learn more about in the coming pages, or if you play
any one of the myriad of roleplaying games that are now Powered by the
Apocalypse. These games make any test develop story in interesting ways,
by either succeeding, adding complications, or learning from your failures.
I’ve tried to harness the spirit of that logical story progression here to help
facilitate the emotional growth or shortcomings of your Writer.
3
 What You Need
• To play AWLWLB, you will obviously need some paper and a
writing utensil. For a more deeply engaging experience, I recommend
not simply using a notebook of college lined paper. Having some nice
paper and a nice pen can quickly envelope you in character and make
writing a more natural process.
• You will also need a standard deck of playing cards with the jokers
removed.
• Lastly, you should have an index card or scrap paper to keep track of
your characters and your successes/setbacks that are separate from the
actual letters you write, or use a copy of the Detail Sheet included in the
back of this book.

4
 Establishing Your Characters

Before you can begin writing, you need to know who you are, to
whom you are writing, and why you’re doing so.
The world is as full of magic and adventure as it is danger and
mystery1. You live in a harbor town called Avalon where merchants,
governing bodies, and adventurers have access to the open sea and thusly
coasts, islands, and cities across the world. Avalon is a town of medium
size, something more substantial than a few shacks built in the plains but
not something as large as the capital of the empire. It is important to have
a community that you are a part of as you’ll find yourself referencing it
often in your letters, but having a city too large can lead to your character
becoming immersed and distracted.
I suggest not establishing too many details of Avalon (Governing
body, social status, )at the start of the game and instead, explore and develop
important characteristics of your surroundings through your writing. You
will be less likely to write yourself into a corner and you might be surprised
by the details that spring up on the fly. You should however decide on
Avalon’s climate, the current season, and maybe a vague concept of its
standing in a greater empire, as these will inform later events that you will
be writing about.
It is easiest to first establish the person who has left and decide your
own identity as a result. We will be referring to this person as the Absent.
This person is an adventurer, either by trade, fate, or happenstance. Whether
they be a knight, mage, assassin, or explorer is up to you. Whatever you
choose, the Absent has left on some sort of quest, the nature of which need
not be established. It is entirely likely they wouldn’t tell you the details,
simply that they have to go. The entirety of our game takes place after
they’ve gone away anyhow.

1.
The default setting for this game is that of medieval fantasy as it is one most roleplayers are already
familiar with. If you wish to play in another world, see the Setting Hacks later in the book (page 16).
5
 Once you’ve decided the identity of the Absent, it is time to figure
out who they are to you, and thusly who you are. We will be referring to
your character hereafter as the Writer. After all, this story is about you
(well… the character you are playing) and simply told through the lens of
the Absent.
While love is a major pillar of this game, it is not constrained to
simply romantic love. The Absent must be close to you and their absence
will shake you. If you need help or would like to randomize your experience,
draw a card from your deck and consult the table below. If you aspire to
have a more charged game, it’s recommended that you remove the face
cards and aces before drawing your relationship card, since the remaining
relationships are considered much closer and can lead to more easily
empathized emotional dramas.

The Absent is your:

Any King,
Numbered Numbered Numbered Numbered Queen, or Jack
Cards Cards Cards Any Ace
Cards

Sibling Child Parent Spouse Mentor Close Friend

Consider your relationship to the Absent and why their absence is

so important to you. To play a mother whose son has gone away, there
is a natural sense of worry and the stress of being unable to protect your
kin. However, a man left behind by his adventurous husband will have
different emotional conflicts, dealing more with moments of loneliness and
abandonment. These frames should help flesh out the character you will
embody in the game and the voice you will utilize when writing.
Now that you know the two main characters of your story, write
down some details on an index card or extra piece of paper which we will
refer to as the Detail Sheet. Each of the case studies later in the book have
example Detail Sheets and there is also a blank one available if you want
to photocopy or print it out. Name your Writer and Absent. Give brief
descriptions of both: what they look like, what they do for work, what their
life is like in Avalon. Write down how the two are bonded. Make up a couple
things the two of you share: memories, trinkets, friends, enemies. At the
bottom of your Detail Sheet, write down Positive Events and Doldrums,
leaving a small space next to each for tally marks.
6
 Writing Your Letters
Over the course of the game, you will write a minimum of three
letters, though many games last 5-10 letters over the course of a couple
weeks. This may seem daunting in the beginning, but a major aspect of
the game is in waiting between letters to simulate the time it takes for the
letters to be delivered and the goings on of your life in the interim. Aim for
each letter to be approximately 3 paragraphs long. In each letter, there are 5
topics you should touch on in any order:
1. How long it has been since you have seen
one another and how you are feeling about it.
While the first part of this topic may not be exciting, it will help
you frame your letters and track passing time. Your first letter could be
written the day after the Absent has left or it could be a week late, but
after that, the game will help you dictate the passing of time.
Once you establish a timeline, it becomes easier to use that and frame your
Writer’s emotional stability around it. To some, the exit of the Absent is like
ripping off a band-aid, painful at first but dulling as time passes. To others,
they will try to keep it together at first, but a prolonged absence will amplify
feelings of unrest or unhappiness. These decisions are yours to make, but it
is wise to consider early as it can set a path for your character that might last
the entire game.

2. At least one event that has happened or

is currently happening in Avalon.
3. At least one event that has happened or
is currently happening directly to your Writer.
The second part of your letter is sort of a digest to fill in the Absent
on the goings on of your town and your life without them. These events are
determined by playing cards you’ll draw after writing, you’ll read about
them in the upcoming Randomizing & Resolving section of the rules. Keep
in mind that this news is told through the lens of your Writer’s mental state.
A minor event may seem major to someone who is angry, a major event
could seem minor to someone who is depressed. You are encouraged to
editorialize in this portion of your letter, explain how these events may
impact your own life or that of the Absent should they return to a changed
status quo.
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 4. An inquiry for the Absent.
While in this game you won’t be receiving any replies, your Writer
should hope for one anyways. Like in any conversation, you’ll want to
provide opportunities for the person you’re speaking with to contribute.
You can ask them how they feel about unfolding events, what things are like
where they are, or how they are emotionally. Again, this will be framed by
the ongoing story of your Writer. If you are angry, you may be less likely to
care how they are faring in their quest, or if you are in the bargaining stage
of grief, you may ask them about when they plan to return or what you
could do to make that return more smooth. This may not require a paragraph
of its own in your letter, but do make sure you provide some opportunity
for two-way communication. The hope and expectation of a reply from the
Absent should be an anchor for your Writer.

5. A closing, summation, or farewell.

This section is the most self-explanatory. You have to end your
letter, and you wouldn’t just let it fizzle out, so write some sort of closure.
Again, the events in your life and your Writer’s state will help you frame
this ending.
Your first letter should hit all these points as you are effectively
setting the stage for later events to happen. As you write letters and draw
cards, you will see events start to happen in logical sequence and the story
of you and your Avalon develop in a natural way. Depending on the events
that do or don’t happen, certain sections may seem more or less important
and your letters will reflect that. To a character growing exceedingly lonely,
you will harp on topic 1 for longer than usual and topic 2 may suffer. For a
character who is having good things happen in their life, topic 3 will begin
to swell and topic 4 will likely shrink. There will be a natural ebb & flow to
which topics get more or less attention from your character as you continue
to play.
This game doesn’t work with digital media and it is highly recommended
that you handwrite each letter. Does your character write in cursive
or longhand? Do they doodle in the margins, drag out the crossbar
on their t’s, extend the descender of their g’s? Are your pages sloppy
with chicken scratch and smeared ink or neat in parallel lines with
proper spacing? As the Writer falls into depression, are the spaces
between characters and words widened so it reads more slowly?
These affectations help characterize your Writer, even if they are in
your natural handwriting, and would not be possible to emulate if you
just typed your letters out in your email client.

8
 Randomizing & Resolving

Each time you finish writing a letter, you should immediately draw
a single card from a standard deck of playing cards that has had the jokers
removed. Both the suit and the value should be taken into consideration and
dealt with separately. These will help determine the things that happen to
your Writer between sending out the completed letter and writing your next
one as well as the length of time you should wait between writing letters.
First, lets look at the value of the card drawn.

Card Values
• Face Card (Jack, Queen, King, Ace): Positive
Event.
Something positive happens in your character’s life and takes your
mind off of the Absent. You must wait X days before writing another letter
where X is 1+ the number of positives you’ve already had in this story,
keeping track of them on your Detail Sheet2. Your next letter will likely
include mention of these nice things happening to you. This is one time that
I recommend using technology in the game, set a reminder in your phone or
calendar to write your next letter on time. It is easy to get lost in your day
2.
Ex: if today is Monday and this is your first Positive Event, you must wait 2 days. Your next letter
should be written Thursday. If today is Monday and this is your third Positive Event, you must wait 4
days. Your next letter should be written Saturday.
9
 to day life and forget to write, of course that is the point, but forgetting too
long will put a sharp halt to your story’s development. A Jack is considered
a minor event, a Queen is moderate, and a King or Ace would be a major
event. When you’ve gotten 4 positive events marked on your Detail Sheet,
the game ends, consult the Game End section.

• 8-10: Negative Event.

Something negative happens in your character’s life. You must cope
with these negative things for 1 day before you write your next letter3, but
that subsequent letter should include mention of these unfortunate events.
An 8 is considered a minor event, a 9 is moderate, and 10 is major. You
don’t need to keep track of the number of negative things happening to you
for the game end. It’s a harsh world and bad things happen to good people
every day. A portion of your game will likely be made of these unfortunate
occurrences that have you write more letters but do not bring you closer to
the game’s end.

• 2-7: Doldrums.
Nothing particular happens in your own life. You simply start to lose
your grip and become less stable emotionally. You miss the Absent, you
want so badly to talk to them, and you must write them again soon. Write
another letter the very next day. It will likely not have much for content and
you should instead aim to write a more emotionally charged letter, focusing
on emotional topics (1&4) and ignoring the development of more eventful
topics (2&3). The suit of your drawn card will highlight one of four stages
of grief that you’ll channel in your writing. Unlike the Positive and Negative
events, the number of your drawn card does not dictate the severity of your
condition here. The Doldrums is meant to be more emotionally taxing each
time it occurs to showcase a descent of your Writer’s wellbeing. Keep track
on your Detail Sheet of each time you’ve rolled Doldrums. When you’ve
done this 3 times, the game ends, consult the Game End section.

Ex: If today is Monday and you receive a Negative Event, you cope for 1 day. Your next letter should
3.

be written Wednesday.
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Card Suits
After determining the nature of the event that occurs, you’ll consult
the suit of the card to help you decide the specific nature of the event and
what to write about in your next letter. The severity of the event is dictated
by the value of the card drawn, ranging from Minor to Major.

Something happens
Something happens with with a person Something happens Something happens
with your government. in your community with someone you love. to deal with money.
for whom you don’t care.

Minor: A traveling
Minor: The Chief Minor: Your nosy market commis-
Minor: Your
appoints a new neighbor sowing sions more of your
Jack (Minor), Queen (Moderate),

neighbor’s wife
Thane. rumors is publically hide armor to sell
announced that she
embarrassed. on the road.
King, Ace (Major).

is expecting child.
Positive Event.

Major : An open
border is Major: The Major: An
Major: A popular
established with a aggressive town altruistic
local dignitary
nearby town that drunk is arrested adventurer shares
proposes marriage
will benefit and your favorite the new found
to your widowed
Avalon’s trade tavern is made spoils of a dragon’s
mother.
and immigration. friendly again. cave with the
community.
Minor: A new tax is
Minor: A pesky rogue Minor: Your child
implemented on
Minor: The local picks your pocket, has come down
your industry that
guards increase taking the key to your with a fever, but the
will make it harder
their patrols and shed that you no maester says they’ll
8 (Minor) -10 (Major)

to get by.
Negative Event.

implement a longer have access to. recover.

curfew.
Major: A fire
Major: The jerk down Major: Your child
damaged a large
Major: The King the road is promoted has fallen ill, the
portion of your home
declares war on a to the Town Guard maester doesn’t
& supplies,
neighboring and always seems to recognize the
recuperating will
nation. be patrolling near disease and isn’t
take a lot of hard
your work. sure how to treat it.
work.
Doldrums.

Denial/
Depression Anger Bargaining
2-7

Isolation

These examples are not binding and you are encouraged to come up
with events on your own while paying attention to the categories and the
intensity determined by the card you drew.
As you continue your course through the game, leave each card you
draw out of the deck when you go to write your next letter. This will make it
slightly less probable that you will receive the same result next time. If you
aren’t able to do this (you use the cards for another game, you forgot and
shuffled the deck, etc) don’t fret, it shouldn’t mess up your experience.
11
 End Game
There are two ways for the game to end: by either accumulating 4
Positive Events or 3 Doldrums.
If your game ends with 4 Positive Events
Things are going alright for you. You might not be 100% emotionally,
some days are better than others, but you’re keeping yourself together as
best you can. Each letter you write has a few more days lapse before the
next until one day you forget to write at all. You are not defined by the
absence of the Absent. You are the Writer of your own damn story and today
it is clear: that story will continue without them.
If your game ends with 3 Doldrums
Things aren’t going so well. Each letter you write sounds more
lonely and desperate. Each day, you pine away from reality and sink deeper
into your writing, desperate to hear back from your Absent, until one day
you get a reply. You receive word that your Absent has fallen. Their remains
are escorted out of the wreckage of a recently active volcano, their signature
amulet is found at the gate of an orcish war camp, their undead form is
witnessed in the front lines of a necromancer’s advancing army, etc. All you
wanted was an answer, though this is not what you had in mind. Reflect on
the heartbreak your character feels in this moment. Write one final piece: a
funeral speech, a tear-soaked diary entry, or an undeliverable letter saying
all you’ll never get the chance to say your fallen love.

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 Gamemaster Variant

for one Writer and one Facilitator

A lot of the pleasure gained from writing letters in my experience is
the passing of time. If there was something you needed to tell someone, you
could text, call, or email, but there is something sentimental about sending
mail. At the time of your writing, you were thinking of them. The entire
duration of developing the letter, every scratched out word replaced with a
better one or misspelled affectation, you are forced to be considering your
audience. Once you’ve sent it out, you wait. It could be a day, a week, a
month, and you can’t really know. Hell, a lot of mail never gets where it was
meant to go, you might get it returned to you or it could simply disappear.
This uncertainty can be exciting or even nerve wracking depending on the
context of your writing. And eventually, hopefully, the letter arrives where
it needed to go, and when the recipient opens that envelope and squints
through your sloppy handwriting, they will think of you. It would be a
shame to make a game about writing letters and betray those feelings of
anticipation & unknowing, so here is an optional rule set for playing with a
2nd person, a Gamemaster (GM) who will facilitate events for the Writer.

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 Firstly, you will need a second player who is familiar enough with
the game, potentially they need a pdf or copy of this book, or you can simply
explain to them their job. This likely will be someone you are already close
with as they’ll be reading the letters you write which can feel vulnerable
even if you’re writing from a fictional character’s perspective. You’ll also
need some envelopes & stamps. If you wish, you could play this version of
the game with postcards. The smaller size forces you to be more concise
with your writing and postcards typically aren’t delivered as quickly as
envelopes which will add to the time of your game.
Each time you
finish writing a letter,
you will mail it to your
GM. You don’t draw
cards and you don’t
know what will happen
next, you wait for the
mail to be delivered.
The GM
will read the letter
immediately upon
delivery. They should
then decide quickly how
the Writer is handling the
situation and assign an
Influence value from -2
(very poorly, they seem
unstable, depressed,
clingy, anxious) to 2
(very well, they have a level head, they aren’t dwelling). Don’t give this too
much thought, let your gut tell you what to do. A 0 is a neutral value, the
cards can randomize the forthcoming event without your Influence if you
choose. Then, draw a card as one would in a single player game. You will
add your Influence to the card you drew4. Your Influence can not make a
card’s value go higher than an Ace or lower than a 2.

4.
For example, say you decide your player is doing well and you decide to Influence the upcoming
event with +2. You randomly draw a 6 of hearts. Add your Influence of 2 to the drawn 6, so you will
consider it an 8 of hearts, which turns it from Doldrums into a Minor Negative Event.
Another example, it seems your player is writing in a desperate tone and you decide to give them -2
Influence. You randomly draw a King of spades. Add your Influence of -2 to the drawn King which will
make it a Jack, turning it from a Major Positive Event into a Minor Positive Event.
14
 Once you’ve established what sort of event occurs to the Writer
and how severe it is, you will write a brief letter to them to continue their
story. This is not a letter from the Absent, the GM acts outside of the story
itself as more of a facilitator to the Writer. You can however choose to write
your letter in-world, such as a decree from the local Chief or a news report
shouted out by a traveling bard, but to write the event very matter-of-factly
does the job just fine too.
Determine the nature and severity of the event dictated by your
cards and describe what happens to the player. This shouldn’t be long, a
paragraph at most, and could easily be done on a postcard. Then, simply
mail it to the player. The time elapsed from the mail delivery will be longer
than the simulated time passing in the single-player version of the game, so
Positive & Negative events should no longer dictate how long the player
must wait before writing another letter.
Both players may utilize a Detail Sheet, but only the GM will keep
track of Positive Events and Doldrums for the player. This way, the player
does not immediately know how much longer the game will continue. The
game ends if one of the two standard conditions are met, 4 Positive Events
or 3 Doldrums.

If the player has 4 Positive Events, the GM simply does not reply to the
last letter. Life goes on for both parties, that anticipation and uncertainty
wanes until it is clear that in-game and in real life, the Writer has moved on.

If the player has 3 Doldrums, the GM writes a letter in-game to the Writer
detailing the demise of the Absent. This can be a sympathetic word from
a fellow adventurer, a braggy letter from an evil mage who has taken the
Absent’s life, or simply an official order from the town guard. Regardless,
the GM will mail this notice back to the player. Upon receiving it, the player
still writes their final piece, but they will not mail it to the GM. Instead they
keep it to themself, they destroy it, they hide it away somewhere, whatever
they choose. Their resolution is their own private moment and their final
one as the Writer of the story. The two parties lament the fallen separately
and the game quietly ends.

15
 Setting Hacks
The default fantasy setting might not appeal to everyone, but it’d
be a shame for that to be the only reason one would skip this game. In that
spirit, we’ve included some alternatives for those who’d still enjoy the letter-
writing experience in a different world. The setting of course changes, and
with that, the effects the cards have and certain end-game parameters will
change to accommodate. The relationship randomizer in the beginning of
this book will stay the same, but as always, you can define your relationship
deliberately if you don’t wish to have it assigned.

• When Little Sister: Private Eye gets wrapped up in something

bigger than she expected, her latest case takes her to the big city on a quest
for more clues & an inevitable truth. You bide your time and mind your
business in rainy Camden, a town wrought with crime, intrigue, and shady
characters. Read more in Hardboiled (18).

16
 • Your summer has only just started at Camp Grasshopper, but it
feels like you’ve been here your entire life. The sun is hot, the bug bites are
itchy, and the grown ups are jerks. You never thought you’d say it, but you’d
almost rather be in SCHOOL. In this scenario, you’re the one who is absent,
but not by any choice of your own, and you’ll write to those who sent you
here. Read more in Sleepaway (20).

• It shouldn’t surprise you that the endless expanse of space would

feel this way, but somehow it does. Drifting at light speed through the
universe in your ship could feel a lot more like home if they hadn’t left
you behind to explore a nearby system. In this scenario, you’ll transmit
videos to the Absent’s exploratory team from your central space station, the
Daydream Colony. Read more in The Sun Amidst Small Stars (22).

17
 Hardboiled
In Hardboiled, the Absent is a private eye on the case, one that
seems to be growing bigger and more dire with every turn. They must leave
to the big city (Chicago, Arkham, wherever) to continue their investigation,
but that doesn’t mean you and your town of Camden are safe. People
continue to operate in the shadows, and with the detective out of town, it’s
open season for the clever criminals in town.
The effects of card suits in Hardboiled are adapted accordingly to
help you further develop the web of secrets and crime in your loved one’s
absence. When writing, you’ll not only express your desire to remain safe,
but also the evolution of the local crime bosses and their schemes. Maybe
you’ll even solve your own cases while the Absent is away. In a way you
are writing a mystery in real time as you solve it; your early letters can set
up clues that your later may letters resolve.
This scenario is perfect to also show the subjectivity of the Positive/
Negative event system. If you choose, while the Absent is a detective, you
could be playing someone involved in the local crime scene and exploiting
the sudden lack of detective presence in town. A sting on the docks of an
illegal import could be a minor positive event for a detective but would be
a major negative event for a criminal. Good and bad are abstract concepts
and defined by the lenses through which you observe them. The examples
in the table presuppose that you are playing a detective, but it is easy to flip
the concepts of positive and negative to suit your story.

While this scenario was specifically built for a neo-noir detective story, it would be very easily
adaptable into one of Lovecraftian horror. Simply replace instances of “criminal organizations” with
“cults of an elder god” and the rest should simply fall into place.
18
 Something happens Something mysterious
Something happens Something happens
with a local happens, it isn’t
with the local police with someone you love.
criminal organization. immediately clear
/a fellow detective.
the ramifications.

Minor: A nighttime Minor: Your Minor: You

delivery of illicit parents visit from
Jack (Minor), Queen (Moderate),

receive a bouquet
Minor: A local goods is met with their small town to of flowers in the
cop receives a unexpected have you show
King, Ace (Major).

mail with no note.

Positive Event.

medal for bravery. complications. them Camden.

Major: Three
Major: A Private Major: A known Major: Your horses slowly trot
Eye solves their player in the local partner comes past you on the
big case crime scene comes home with gifts sidewalk during
to you to sell out after getting a raise your walk home.
their boss. at work.

Minor: A beat cop Minor: You’ve been

gets caught Minor: You see receiving phone calls
operating out of Minor: Your favorite your lover entering late at night but the
their jurisdiction cafe closed overnight, a crime family’s other line doesn’t
8 (Minor) -10 (Major)

the crime scene tape hideout.

Negative Event.

and is suspended. say anything.

outside gives you a
Major: A private hint as to why. Major: You find Major: The dead
eye is found shot your lover selling body of a shark is
on the sidewalk Major: A local crime firearms to discovered on the
outside their office boss is elected Mayor. hoodlums out of the docks with your last
with lipstick stains trunk of their car. name spray painted
on their collar. on it.
Doldrums.

Frustration Fear Depression Confusion

2-7

If the game ends with 3 Doldrums

Choose one of the following or make up your own ending:
• The landlord of the building where the Absent’s office is sends you
an eviction notice.
• A Private Eye approaches you having gotten word that the Absent
has fallen out of contact.
• You find a horse’s head in your bed.

19
 Sleepaway
In Sleepaway, your established roles have flipped. The Absent is in
fact at home, and the Writer has left. However, the writer is a kid and leaving
was certainly not their choice. You’ll be writing letters to someone you were
forced to leave: your parents, sibling, schoolmate, crush, neighbor, etc.
You’re just starting your summer away at Camp Grasshopper, a
forested retreat for youths that is meant to be inspiring, educational, and
fun, but you’re not having any of it. You don’t know these kids, you don’t
respect these counselors, and you don’t know how you’re gonna make it
through the summer, but by hook or by crook, you’re gonna get out...
This setting is meant to be less intense than the others but certainly
can still pack an emotional response. We were all kids once and invoking
those feelings, especially those more dramatic moments of childhood, can
be tough. The voice in which you write is a major part of this setting as well,
since you’ll be playing someone young. If you want to play a 13 year old,
you probably think you know everything, your language can have some
more slang and smarm to it. If you choose to instead play a 9 year old,
your language will be more elementary but maybe more imaginative. And
remember as you play, kids are experts at hyperbole, exaggeration, and lies.
No one said what you write in these letters has to be accurate.

20
 Something happens Something happens Something happens Something happens
with a counselor. with a rival camper. with a camper in the forest.
or counselor you like.

Minor: A cool
Minor: You get Minor: You find
counselor turns Minor: They give
drafted to the other some tasty wild
Jack (Minor), Queen (Moderate),

the other way you an extra

kickball team so you berries that are safe
when they find pudding cup at
don’t have to to eat.
King, Ace (Major).

your secret candy

Positive Event.

pretend to be lunch.
stash.
friends. Major: You find a
Major: You doorway in one of
Major: A cool smooch over
Major: You get to the big old trees
counselor takes s’mores at the
throw the kickball at that will take you
your gang to the weekend campfire.
them as they try to to another
movie theater in a
steal a base. dimension.
nearby town.

Minor: Your crush

Minor: A
Minor: Their team gives you an Minor: The howl of
counselor tells a
beats you at the tug of embarrassing what might be
scary ghost story
war and hurts your nickname that some wolves wakes you
that keeps you up
8 (Minor) -10 (Major)

pride. other campers hear up every night.

Negative Event.

at night.
about.
Major: Their team Major: You swear
Major: A
beats you at the tug of Major: They share you saw people
counselor tells a
war and you fall and a funny story about chanting & dancing
scary ghost story
break your wrist while an embarrassing around a fire last
and reveals
they laugh. thing you did and night, but there is no
themself to be a
everyone at camp trace today.
ghost.
hears it.
Doldrums.

Boredom Anger Loneliness Fear

2-7

If the game ends with 3 Doldrums

Choose one of the following or make up your own ending:
• The Head Counselor reprimands you and says you need to pay
more attention to camp and less attention to home.
• A bully steals your notebook and pencils and makes fun of you for
missing home until you stop.
• You drop your notebook in the woods somewhere and are too
scared to go retrieve it.

21
 The Sun Amidst Small Stars
In The Sun Amidst Small Stars (TSASS), your Writer and Absent
are both very far away. Millions of miles from home in a drifting space
station searching for resources & life as the planet you’ve abandoned is in
turmoil. Resource scarcity, political disorder, and civilian unrest have you
deserting your home world in a time of dire need, but the stars beckon.
TSASS is built to be an ambiguous enough setting to suit the needs
of your story. You may decide to be escaping a dying earth, ravaged by
divisive wars, or you could instead exist on a planet many galaxies away with
an infrastructure of your own design. You can develop your planet’s state
while waxing poetic in your letters, but unlike the other settings, both the
Writer and Absent have left. However, the distance from your space station
to your home world feels like nothing compared to the distance between the
Writer and Absent. Consider having the Absent leaving the space station on
exploratory vessels, a single passenger escape pod, or landing on a nearby
planet for diplomatic arrangements while your Writer stays on the docking
station, the technologically advanced yet cold shell of a home that they now
inhabit.
Because of the availability of technology in a society where
interplanetary travel could exist, you are no longer constrained to write
letters with pen & paper. For this setting, you are encouraged to record
video transmissions. Of course, there will still be no reply, but that is the
nature of this game. Use your webcam or smartphone camera to record clips
you will transmit to your Absent out loud. You’ll still be following the card
randomization and letter formats established, but acting out the emotions
and speaking the words out loud can be an even stronger experience. Upon
completing the game, you can return to your videos and actually watch the
developing psyche of your character.

22
 Something happens Something happens Something happens Something happens
with the space station. on your home planet. with your body. with an ongoing mission.

Minor: A slight
Minor: You’ve Minor: Successful
turn towards the Minor: New noticed increased completion of
Jack (Minor), Queen (Moderate),

nearest sun will legislation is passed upper body objectives will

allow for more to ensure equal strength & stamina allow for
King, Ace (Major).

efficient plant distribution of scant

Positive Event.

from your exploratory vessels

growth in the food and water. maintenance to return home
greenhouse. Major: A peace routine. early.
Major: Amicable treaty is Major: You’ve Major: Vital
communications implemented mastered resources are
are established between quarreling maneuvering in discovered in a
with a nearby nations. simulated gravity. nearby system.
planetary system.

Minor: You’ve
Minor: Low
developed an Minor: Propulsion
energy levels force
Minor: Resource annoying allergic malfunctions will
minimized light &
scarcity instigates reaction to prolong the current
communication
8 (Minor) -10 (Major)

violent protests. something on the mission by at least

Negative Event.

hours, executes
Major: Missiles are station. one day.
early curfew
launched, starting a Major: Hyperoxia Major: Energy
Major:
violent and deadly has made you depletion forces all
Mechanisms in
war in your homeland nauseous & exploratory vessels
place for air
while you’re millions disoriented, you to be stranded away
purification begin
of miles away. begin questioning from the space
failing and oxygen
the reality of your station.
access is limited.
surroundings.
Doldrums.

Isolation Cosmic
Nostalgia Paranoia
2-7

Insignificance

If the game ends with 3 Doldrums

Choose one of the following or make up your own ending:
• Transmissions repeatedly fail to send, and are no longer able to be
received.
• Space Station goes into energy reserves due to mission exceeding
expected length and all non-essential systems shut down.
• Receive a delayed transmission from home planet of imminent
nuclear war.

23
 Case Studies
In this section are collections of letters written while playing
AWLWLB. These case studies showcase different writing approaches,
different settings, and different outcomes. Being able to read a collection of
letters and see how the game begins, progresses, and ends might help you
with developing your own story. Each of these case studies can also be read
on their own without the reader being familiar with the game rules and they
stand alone as emotional narrative prose.
First, Chris Conlon’s1 collection, Lost Moon, portrays the dissolution
of a romantic relationship in the harsh winter of Avalon through the eyes
of an abandoned metalsmith. This scenario includes footnotes regarding
drawn cards to showcase game mechanics and help guide you through your
first play through of AWLWLB.
Next, A Simple Bliss, a collection of letters by Cody Flowers2
using the Hardboiled setting, piecing together pieces of a larger conspiracy
unfolding in gritty Camden in the absence of a detective brother and a rare
happy ending, thanks to some favorable random playing cards.
Lastly, in DISTANCE FROM OUR SUN: 20,922,113,781 KM, Bee
Walsh3 writes from the space station Icarus to their missing compatriots
using the Sun Amidst Small Stars alternative setting, showcasing the
isolated feelings AWLWLB is meant to evoke and amplified by the empty
vacuum of deep space.

1.
Chris Conlon is a creator who likes art, lightning, and long walks on the moon. You can find more of
his work on his Instagram (@chrisconlonart), Etsy (etsy.com/chrisconlonart), and Facebook (facebook.
com/chrisconlonart).
2.
Cody Flowers is a writer and artist of comics in the Midwest. You can find more of his work by
following him on twitter @codydflowers.
3.
Bee Walsh is a Sentient Rogue Wave from the Atlantic Ocean who likes to scrub her skin with salt.
Find out more at beewalsh.com
24
 Lost Moon
by Chris Conlon
Varim,

The moon has come and gone twice since last I saw you. Perhaps I
should have written you sooner, but I could not find the strength to do so. I
had hoped the flames of the forge would rekindle the ember you quenched
within me when you left that night. They have not.

Avalon has remained much the same in your absence. Though

the air grows cold with autumn’s approach, I have not remained idle.
Grunbeld, the smith in Firmanoth, has fallen ill. I have been warming
myself by crafting tools for the coming inland harvest. I should not be
glad for his misfortune, but business has been good and coin has not been
scarce.

Your broken dagger still lays on my workbench. I have often

thought of casting it into the bay, but cannot bring myself to do so. You
always used to joke about how the thing that brought us together was the
one thing I could not fix. I wonder, does the replacement I made you serve
you well in your new journeys? Has it come to aid when your sword has
failed you, or does it hang uselessly by your side as I once did?

Forgive me. My words grow harsh. In spite of the wound you dealt
me, my heart aches for your safe return. May your silver tongue keep the
demons at bay.

Your guiding star,

Wynn

Before beginning this letter, Chris drew a King of Diamonds, a Major Positive Event having to do with
money. This is the first of a potential 4 Major Positive Events.
After completion, he drew a Five of Hearts, a Doldrums having to do with Denial which will be
explored in a subsequent letter the next day. This is the first of a potential 3 Doldrums.

25
 My wandering moon,

I cannot sleep tonight. Our bed is cold and my pillow is hot with
fresh tears. Even if I were to be granted slumber, I would find no respite.
Every night I dream of your return and wake to find only soot and steel
waiting for me.

It has been two weeks since I last wrote you. A courier I spoke with
told me that the address you gave me is a week’s journey from Avalon. Did
my first letter reach you? Could it be that you received it and will soon
come back to me? Were my dreams premonitions of our reunion?

If you receive this, please write to me. Without you I have no

one. I am hammering my days away with nothing to say, save for a few
exchanges with brash strangers who mutter orders and throw coins at me
like some pathetic urchin. I long for your words, even if they are only to let
me know that you still live.

Yours always,
Wynn

After completion, he drew an Eight of Clubs, a Minor Negative event having to do with someone in the
community for whom they do not care which will be explored in the next letter 2 days later.
26
My dear Varim,

I am writing this only one day after I sent my last letter. I suppose
this is just me looking for strength again, though this time it is through
quill and ink instead of fire and iron.

I awoke this morning to find that someone had clogged the shop’s
chimney during the night. Among other things, the offending materials
included a damaged helmet, a torn leather jerkin, and a dead tomcat. I
wish I were joking about the last part. I know not whether it was some
nightcrawling prankster or a disgruntled competitor, but I intend to find
out. I have my suspicions.

Avalon grows ever more frigid in your absence. My workshop has

filled with ash and fallen leaves. I admit I have done a poor job of cleaning
it of late. Perhaps someone saw this and decided a dead cat might spruce
the place up a bit. In any case, I will have to spend my hours clearing out
the coals to make sure none of the scraps that baneful degenerate threw
down the flue remain.

I hope that this letter reaches you and that you are well. I know
that it is a dangerous world outside of these walls. When I am done with
my day’s work, I often wander town wondering how you are faring out
there in the wilds. Recently I have taken up the habit of watching the
waves lap against the rocks near Crookshank’s Cove. We shared so many
nights there.

Ever your guiding star,

Wynn

After completion, he drew an Ten of Hearts, a Minor Positive event having to do with someone you love
which will be explored in the next letter 2 days later.
27
 Love of mine,

I hope this letter finds you well. Another week has passed since my
last letter and still I have received no reply from you, though I still hold
hope. Time has begun to heal the wound in my heart and is slowly lifting
the veil of grief from my eyes. I am now able to see that perhaps you are
on some adventure and have yet to return to the address you left me. You
never failed to return to me before. Why would that change now?

Upon hearing of the misfortune that befell my forge, the townsfolk

gathered together to aid me in the cleaning and repair of my workshop.
Apparently my melancholy nature of late has not gone unnoticed, and in
gratitude for the extra work I have taken on, they decided to take pity on
me so that I may regain my footing. Astrid (the apothecary that mixed you
that hunter’s potion before you nearly met your death at the beak of that
cockatrice) told me that I looked as if a black cloud was hanging above
me everywhere I went. She may be right. Perhaps this prevented me from
seeing my wandering moon.

Please forgive me for the weakness I have shown you in my recent

letters. My arms may sling steel with abandon, but my heart lacks the
fortitude yours possesses. Though you used to hearten me with your sweet
nothings, I always knew you were the better half.

I have moved your dagger from my workbench to my bedside table.

I want the last thing I see before I slip into my dreams to be the thing that
brought us together. Though you are gone, I know that it will protect me
from the nightmares lurking behind my eyes. I pray that I will see you
again soon.

My fire burns for you still,

Wynn

After completion, he drew an Three of Diamonds, a Doldrums having to do with Bargaining which will
be explored in the next letter the following day. This is the second of 3 potential Doldrums.
28
My darling Varim,

I am begging you, please come back to me. I do not think I can stand to be
without you for another night. I am afraid that my mind is leaving me. I
have tried to feign strength for nearly half a year, but I can no longer do
so. I am a husk of who I once was.

All of the color has left Avalon. The snow that was once a pleasant
blanket of white quickly turned to gray muck within a few days time. My
customers, more often than not, are sick with any number of maladies that
have spread across the town. I fear that I, too, grow ill. I spend my days
mending chains for the horse drawn plows that clear the streets, but my
vigor has left me. I can barely bring myself to eat.

If it was riches you sought when you departed from my life, perhaps I
can entreat you to partake of mine. I have no need for the coins in a dusty
chest. I desire only to have you warming my bed. I would bequeath all of
my possessions to you to be able to hold you one last time. My heart is a
void that no gold can fill.

Sometimes I look at my shattered reflection in the blade that united us. I do

not know what you saw in me. Whenever you moved I thought of silk cloth
blowing in the wind. I am just a burnt wretch that was hewn from stone.
You were wise to leave me.

Wynn

After completion, he drew an Ten of Diamonds, a Negative Major event having to do with money which
will be explored in the next letter 2 days later.
29
 Varim,

Fortune has abandoned me as you have. Last night my mind

escaped me while I was working the forge. I knocked an ember onto the
floor and it rolled into a pile of wood that I had foolishly placed nearby.
The fire spread quickly and consumed all that I own.

The townsfolk gathered to put out the flames, but very little
water was available to do so. Everything is dead and frozen here. Astrid
welcomed me to her home for a time and attempted to comfort me, but to
no avail. I haven’t slept since the fire and, upon returning to assess the
damage, I found no chest among the wreckage. I can only assume that
some adventurer like yourself absconded with the tokens of my life’s work.

I write to you now haggard, destitute, and abandoned. The only

things I possess are blackened work clothes and the lower portion your
dagger that I recovered as the inferno turned the room we once shared
into ash and dust.

I know now that you will never return to me. My wandering moon
has gone to a different sky, leaving me stranded on this frostbitten rock
with nothing to my name save a fractured heart and a broken blade.

May your life bring you the joy that I will never know again,
Wynn

After completion, he drew a Six of Clubs, a Doldrums having to do with Anger. This is the third of 3
Doldrums which will be the final letter before the game ends.
30
Lost moon,

How foolish I have been. I see now the lessons you have been
imparting to me. All this time, your invisible hand has been guiding me to
this moment. Where once I stood upon the precipice of ruin, I now stand
ready to be your companion once more.

For a month I have wandered as you have with no hearth or home

to call my own, the townsfolk all sneering at me with pity. No--not pity.
‘Tis envy that weighs upon their lips, for they can see it in me. A flame
rekindled, glowing like a beacon in the ice laden squall that has cursed
this frozen hellscape.

Scarcely a moon ago I was forger of chains. Now I know that I

must break them. I have come to realize that you did not leave me with an
address so that I would sit alone, pining for you and pathetically scrawling
letters in your name. No no no. You were beckoning me to embark on an
adventure. To escape my prison of metal and filth.

I shall begin this journey forthwith, armed with the dagger you
entrusted me with so long ago. So many nights I have watched the frost
gather along the blade’s edge, wondering if it might still be keen enough
to bring me into death’s loving embrace. Ah, how wrong I was. How close
I came to plunging it into my heart before realizing that will guide me like
a compass into your arms.

Into the white void I go. The promise that I may behold bravery
and grace again will warm my veins.

Wynn

Since triggering the game end with 3 Doldrums, no more cards are drawn. The final piece of writing
will break format, and Chris has written an obituary for Wynn that would be shared by the community.
31
 AVALONIAN DEPARTURES: WYNN GILDENHARDT

It is with deep sorrow that we announce the passing of a

citizen who was an unrivaled blessing to the kingdom of Avalon.
Wynn Gildenhardt, age of 27, was a skilled smith of great renown
who went missing during a blizzard on the night of the seventh of
Winterswane.

Wynn was a troubled soul to the last. Misery and misfortune

befell the departed until they had given everything, and yet the
world still took from them.

It is no small irony that the departed’s remains were found

by Grunbeld, a Firmanothian blacksmith whose commissions Wynn
took on after he fell ill in the days leading to the fall harvest. Upon
presenting the departed’s remains to Avalon’s thane, Grunbeld
disclosed the fact that Wynn had given the lion’s share of the
earnings from this incident to him so that his family would not
suffer for their gain. Wynn did not wish this fact to be known for
fear that it would stain Grunbeld’s professional reputation.

It is with these selfless contributions in mind that the thane

has commissioned Grunbeld to create a monument in Wynn’s
honor. The monument proposed by the blacksmith will take the
shape of a steel hammer striking an anvil upon which lays the
dagger that accompanied the departed’s remains. The dagger, which
was broken when it was found, will be made whole once more with
a gold inlay to commemorate the richness the departed brought to
Avalon during their time in this world.

The monument will be unveiled during the annual Spring

Solstice celebration. All citizens are welcome to mourn the passing
of Wynn and commemorate the life that was and the life that will
come to be.

Fin.

32
 A Simple Bliss
by Cody Flowers

Jonny,

It’s only been a week since ya left for the big city, but your
absence is already evident. I know your job means a lot to ya,
but can’t you work a case back home? Ah, don’t listen to me.
I don’t want to be the guy getting in the way of somethin’ this
cush. I know this job could really be it for ya. The one that finally
puts you on the map….

It’s funny that you’re really out there, doin’ it. Remember when
you first started talkin’ about becoming the kind of bruno the
cops needed? Someone that could really pull the force together?
Well, look at you. You’re doin’ it, guy.

I know that you’re busy, but if you could find the time, it would
mean a lot to hear from ya.

Stay safe out there,

Joey

33
 Jonny,

You’ll never believe it! You know Bev, that super hot
waitress we always went to visit at the diner on main (man,
they have the best burgers. I bet you miss ‘em)? Well, I finally
got the gull to ask her on a date! And the funniest thing of all,
you know what she said when I finally did it?

“What took you so long?”

Ha! Looking back on it now, I’m askin’ myself the same question.
It’s not for a couple of days now, but it’s hard to contain my
excitement. Maybe you would have beat me to the punch if you
had still been around. I know we both had our eye on her the
whole time. You were always too good a friend to me, and never
said anything, but I know you had the hots for her too, eh? Well,
ya snooze ya lose, am I right?

Write me back, ya goon.

Joey.

34
Jonny,

I hope things are going as well for you over there as they
are for me!

Bev and I had the best time on our date last week. I think
we’ll be going steady here before long! My god man, she is so
great. I couldn’t be happier. Hey, maybe it’s luck for me that you
ain’t around, huh? You’re not here to make me look bad. You’ve
always had this dominant air about you, but I never minded.

I tell ya though, it’s nothin’ but sunshine and daisies over

here. I even got a parking ticket dismissed (a ticket I got on the
date. I’m hoping it’s something we can look back on in a long
time and laugh at, ya know what I mean?)!

But, hey! I seen that you were in the paper. I hear that
you’re hot on the trail of the Steeltoe gang. Good on ya, pal. I’m
really proud of you.

Here’s to hoping that things continue on the up and up

for the both of us.

Cheers,

Joey

35
 Jonny,

Sorry that I haven’t sent a letter in a while. Things have

been busy, going steady now with Bev and all. But man, now
that things have slowed down, I’ve been missin’ you.
I check the paper every day to see if there have been any
updates to your case. Radio silence from the news, so I was
hoping to get a response from you one of these times. Try and
make some time for your old pal, alright?
I know this one is short, but I’m off to see Bev. Just wanted
you to know I’m still thinkin’ of you.

Joey

36
Jonny,

Friend to friend here, do you think it’s too early to ask

Bev to marry me? I know, I know. It’s only been six months,
but man, she makes me so happy. And think about it, me, the
married guy, eh?
It’s crazy to think about right? We’ve been friends
forever. We’re both moving up in our lives, not just playin’ cops
and robbers by the creek off Siggsby street. Look at us now!
You’re off in the big city, chasin’ your dreams (and some real
life robbers), and I’m gonna buy my girl a diamond.
I guess we really aren’t kids anymore are we?
By the way, did you give me the wrong address or somethin’?
Write me back, ya schmuck.

Joey

37
 Together with their families

Beverly Housetedder
&
Joseph Goldbloom
Humbly request your presence
at the ceremony and celebration
of their marriage

Saturday, June Twentieth

Three O’Clock in the afternoon
St. Joseph’s Cathedral
On the corner of 2nd and Main

38
DISTANCE FROM OUR SUN:
20,922,113,781 KM
by Bee Walsh
TRANSMISSION #1
ICARUS III (SPACE STATION)
Sun Distance: 20913932509 km
ODYSSEY 1 (EXPEDITION 10)
Sun Distance: 17279802525 km
TECH2 TO COMM1:

I’m sending this first transmission approximately 12 hours after your departure on
Expedition 10. I’ll be tracking our relative distances, you, me, and the last known
coordinates of Galileo 1. These communications will serve as a mission history for
Odyssey 1 as it travels towards Crew Member 9 to find them, hopefully, alive. To
conserve power on O1, ansible transmissions will be sent from I3 to O1 to detail
space station status, but O1 will only respond in case of emergency.

As discussed pre-departure, with myself being the only current onboard crew
member, we have switched several essential system to autopilot. All systems are
running as expected, oxygen/nitrogen output and carbon dioxide intake, power
supply, and trajectory. I’ll be focusing on continuing to try to contact G1 and tracking
your status. I’m happy to say there is not yet much to report in your absence.

I know that you wanted me to take over the position of acting commander of I3, but
as I stated several times before, I already predict you won’t be gone long enough
for it to matter. I remain hopeful that Crew Members 1 - 9, while MIA, are in fact
continuing their missions albeit unable to report back to I3 at this time. And that as
Crew Member 9 was the last to depart and their position seems to be stable, you
will be able to locate them and bring 9 back to I3.

I’ll take solace in the fact that the ansible should send this to your vessel in less time
than it takes me to adjust the way I’m currently sitting and before I move on to my
next task of keeping your space station running. I’m going to hold you to our bet of
when you’ll be back.

I’ll talk to you in a month, 1.

-TECH2

39
 TRANSMISSION #2
ICARUS III (SPACE STATION)
Sun Distance: 20913968383 km
ODYSSEY 1 (EXPEDITION 10)
Sun Distance: 17279833204 km

TECH2 TO COMM1:

We’re approximately 61 hours post departure. I just received an ansible transmission

from Earth. They are reporting back to us on the findings from their investigation into
our mission. They have concluded that despite our setbacks with Crew Members 1 -
8, they are going to continue the Icarus III project! It seems that your reports on the
missing crew members, on the success that we have had even traveling out this far,
on the work we’ve been doing understanding the Interstellar Medium has convinced
the council back home our mission is worth the risk.

“We set sail on this new sea because there is new knowledge to be gained, and new
rights to be won, and they must be won and used for the progress of all people. For
space science, like nuclear science and all technology, has no conscience of its own.”

It would seem that with all of the problems of mankind that we left behind,
overpopulation, food scarcity, the developing nation of refuse in the ocean, have
proved to the council that success must be defined differently than a century ago,
and those that take to the skies have made their peace with the risk. They’re even
loading an uncrewed cargo ship with additional supplies and resources that should
reach us in approximately 2 days. It still seems ludicrous to me that we can send
unmanned ships to travel just under the speed of light, but put a person in the ship,
and we can’t even travel at a fraction of it.

If you were here, you’d see the horrible face I’m making mimicking the admiral as
he explains it to us for the 100th time.

I’m laughing right now because I’m speaking this out loud and I’m watching it appear
on the screen, and it almost feels like you’re here celebrating this great news with
me.

You focus on finding on 9, I’m in control of I3, and we’ll be here when you get back.

-TECH2

40
TRANSMISSION #3
ICARUS III (SPACE STATION)
Sun Distance: 20914096411 km
ODYSSEY 1 (EXPEDITION 10)
Sun Distance: 17279946616 km

TECH2 TO COMM1:

It’s only be a day and I just received another transmission from Earth; they absolutely
do know how to ruin a good mood.

It seems that as part of the agreement to continue funding the Icarus III project, they
are reducing the number of people back home working on the mission. We are,
apparently, no longer the most amazing scientific advancement humans have ever
made, and therefore do not require an entire team of experts to attend to us.

Apparently, we only need a few people taking shifts.

A few people on a planet 20,967,442,225 km away are the only ones listening to
us any more.

Are you even listening?

-TECH2

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 TRANSMISSION #4
ICARUS III (SPACE STATION)
Sun Distance: 20919,903985 km
ODYSSEY 1 (EXPEDITION 10)
Sun Distance: 1728510742 km
TECH2 TO COMM1:

109 hours post Expedition 10 departure.

Icarus is recording this event as it happens. At approximately 13:47:03 UTC

an incoming alert from Expedition 9 interrupted scheduled maintenance on I3’s
mainframe; we received a distress signal from the previously radio silent mission. It
appears that the transmission was sent on a delay, it was dated approximately 500
hours prior to Expedition 10’s departure, your departure.

The communication details the breakdown of the onboard navigation system. 9 tried
to tap into I3’s backup navigation system to reboot the onboard system, but I3’s
security denied access, which is the issue that I’m currently attempting to understand.
I3 is blocking my responding to the distress call. She’s even blocking me accessing
the metadata of the call, or accessing 9’s onboard system.

Icarus is designed to be able to function as a 12th member of the operation, but

never as a senior member. We should have all been able to access and utilize her,
she can make decisions on her own, and work through issues with us, but we should
always, always be able to override Icarus. And right now, that isn’t happening.

9 should have been alerted to an error in the navigation system, rebooted the
system, and accessed I3 as a redundancy to avoid complications with the expedition.
As for as I can tell, nothing after the error occurred as it should have.

I’m currently trying to shut I3 down and take manual control over the station. I will
follow up this transmission as soon as I am successful. After I do that, I am going to
access 10’s navigation system to confirm your mission hasn’t been interfered with.

I know we agreed you would only respond in case of emergency, but I feel this
qualified as such. Can you respond when this is received?

-TECH2

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TRANSMISSION #5
ICARUS III (SPACE STATION)
Sun Distance: 20919903985 km
ODYSSEY 1 (EXPEDITION 10)
Sun Distance: 1728510742 km
TECH2 TO COMM1:

123 hours post your departure.

I was not able to shut down I3’s control as I intended to, and as I am the only member
of the crew still on board the vessel and I can’t manually control all compartments,
I’ve been letting I3 run on autopilot and maybe I have been, too, since you left.

You never responded to my last transmission, as I asked you to. Was it not enough
of an emergency for you? Did you not receive it? Maybe I3 didn’t send it?

That can’t be the issue.

But there was the delay with 9’s distress signal arriving. And the unmanned cargo
ship has not arrived from back home, either.

I haven’t, until recently, being thinking about “home,” been thinking about the
distance, been thinking about how there are entire parts of this vessel I never go
to. Maybe have never even been to before. Did you know the conservatory has an
herb garden? We are growing rosemary aboard this very ship, it’s almost wild at
this point, having been unattended for so long. With the rosemary as abundant as
it is, one would almost think it’s autumn. Piney needles blooming up woody spines.

Do you remember autumn?

-TECH2

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 TRANSMISSION #6
ICARUS III (SPACE STATION)
Sun Distance: 20919966168 km
ODYSSEY 1 (EXPEDITION 10)
Sun Distance: 17285158006 km
TECH2 TO COMM1:

139 hours post departure.

Icarus, please list for me the possible side effects of oxygen poisoning.

-Tunnel Vision
-Ringing In The Ears
-Nausea
-Twitching Of The Face
-Irritability, Anxiety, Confusion, Dizziness
-Tonic–Clonic Seizure
-Unconsciousness

Icarus, please calculate the time differential between my attempt to manually

override the mainframe and when the oxygen levels in the Destiny chamber reached
toxic levels.

10 hours.

Icarus, where is 1?

Icarus, are you still there?

Icarus, I think I’d like to go home now.

-TECH2

44
TRANSMISSION #7
ICARUS III (SPACE STATION)
Sun Distance: --- km
ODYSSEY 1 (EXPEDITION 10)
Sun Distance: --- km
TECH2 TO COMM1:

164 hours post departure.

She says each seizure is lasting longer than the last. She says it’s normal to not
remember them. She says it’s normal to not know how long I was comatose. She says
I start running towards the conservatory right before each begins. She says I must
remember that the fire destroyed all of the plant matter. She says I cannot go in
there. She says I have already told her to tell you I couldn’t save the rosemary. She
says she is sending these transmissions to you. She says you are not receiving them.
She says no one is receiving them. She says I must stop

45
 TRANSMISSION #8
ICARUS III (SPACE STATION)
Sun Distance: --- km
ODYSSEY 1 (EXPEDITION 10)
Sun Distance: --- km
TECH2 TO COMM1:

6324 hours post departure.

O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done,

The ship has weather’d every rack, the prize we sought is won,
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring;
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;

Rise up—for you the flag is flung—for you the bugle trills,
For you bouquets and ribbon’d wreaths—for you the shores a-crowding,
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
Here Captain! dear father!
This arm beneath your head!
It is some dream that on the deck,
You’ve fallen cold and dead.

My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still,
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will,
The ship is anchor’d safe and sound, its voyage closed and done,
From fearful trip the victor ship comes in with object won;
Exult O shores, and ring O bells!
But I with mournful tread,
Walk the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

46
ALL WE LOVE WE LEAVE BEHIND
detail sheet
HOME:

ABSENT:
RELATIONSHIP:

WRITER:

Positive Events
J, Q, K, A. Any suit.
Wait X+1 days before writing, where X = the number of Positive Events

Negative Events
8-10. Any suit.
Wait 1 day before writing your next letter.

Doldrums
2-7. Any suit.
Write a letter the next day.

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