Fuck it Therapy - John C.

Parkin
Maria Lupu
Decembrie 2017
Meaningless search for the meaning / Our personal “story” / Goals / Thoughts / Emotions / Materialism + prejudices /
Spiritual “truths” => PRISON
Why ​do prisons exist? Because
● We are creatures of ​habit => prisons are natural
● We avoid the unknown => fixed theories / models => it feels ​safe
● We like ​rules / regulations. => you`re reliant on your work status, routine, family, support of your friends,
economic web etc.
● Prisons can be “comfortable” => higher standard of living => we think that buying more and more makes us
happy
Why ​would we want to ​escape​? Because
● Our prison makes us ill
● Outside of the prison you can be free to live your dreams!

Exercise: have a go at imagining what a F**k It Life could look like for you
● What did you most like doing as a kid?
● What would it feel like to be free? What are you waiting for?
● If you were told you had only a year to live, how would you spend it?
● What is the worst thing it could happen if you started saying F**k it big time?
● Picture someone you know who is very F**k it. Draw him / her and note his / her qualities.

Types of prison
● Personal story ​- They’re stuck in a story about themselves: about how they’d like to be seen by others, or
how they think life has treated them, or about how life should be
Your story ≠ You; Your story = EGO
● Fear ​- they suffer restless nights because their ​worries have penetrated their unconscious and take
elaborate, ​dramatized manifestations => all fears are founded on ​fear of death / loss!!! ​Accept that
everything must go! ​Try to live in acceptance of your inevitable death, but in a daily appreciation of life.
● Seriousness - school / media / family => perpetual broadcasting => we are taught to CARE => we get
attached by everthing. But things CHANGE and when we are attached by sth we can`t embrace the change,
we can`t let go! ​Say a big F**k It to lots of things in your life that you’re currently worrying about.
Ex
1. Imagine you’re 18 again. Write a letter to the older you (the you of now).
2. Imagine you’re 85. Write a letter to the younger you (the you of now).
● Self-doubt - ​as a child you were criticised => ​You`re not good enough! => I`m not good enough
Say F**k It to those voices / programming from outside! Trust that what you do IS good enough.
● Lack of consciousness
It’s easier to follow than to lead.
It’s easier to put up and shut up.
It’s easier to stay in your warm comfort zone.
It’s easier to keep quiet than stand up and speak out.
It’s easier to skirt around the issue than to tackle it head on.
It’s easier to follow instructions from parents, schools, society, media.
It’s easier to ignore any difficult feelings and switch on the TV instead.
It’s easier to follow the herd, keep your head down, and not think too much.
It’s easier to keep your mouth shut than to tell the (often uncomfortable) truth.
It’s easier to stay in a job / relationship you can’t bear than face the harsh reality of an unfulfilling life,
and the grim, cold possibility of finding an alternative. Better the devil you know.
Say ‘F**k It, I will face the facts of myself and my life, and of life out there.
● Perfectionism ​- “The good is the enemy of the best.”
● Lack of imagination - they can`t picture anything beyond what’s in front of them, no matter how dire it is /
can`t see there’s the option of jumping out
○ Where do you get your kicks in life?
○ Where did you used to get your kicks in life?

1
 ○ Where could you get kicks that you’ve never experienced before and don’t presently indulge in.
Do what you love and make a living from it. It’s possible to make money from almost anything.
● The false belief that everything is rea​l - they ignore anything that doesn’t cohere with their pre-existing
model of how things are.
Look at the infinite mystery of life and the universe in wonder. You think you know anything? F**k It. Think
again. F**k the theories / fixed positions / the religions that believe they, and only they, have the
answer. F**k the dogmatists / the rationalists / materialists.

FUCK IT =>
● Going too fast? Say F**k It to all that, and ​slow down! Do ​less​, ​relax ​more, and go with the ​flow ​of life
instead of trying to make everything happen and work all the time.
● Going too slow? Say F**k It and ​grab life by the balls​! Follow your ​passion ​and ​do ​what you ​fancy​, rather
than trying to do the right thing.

The F**k It State Quiz

1. I lead a life of purpose. 6. I don’t care about what’s right or wrong.
A. Not at all B. A bit C. Yes and no D. Mostly E. A. Not at all B. A bit C. Yes and no D. Mostly E.
Completely Completely

2. I don’t feel attached to any particular outcome. 7. I am fully in touch with how I feel, physically and
A. Not at all B. A bit C. Yes and no D. Mostly E. emotionally.
Completely A. Not at all B. A bit C. Yes and no D. Mostly E.
Completely
3. I focus only on my positive side and emotions, and
don’t dwell on anything else. 8. I love life, and feel full of energy.
A. Not at all B. A bit C. Yes and no D. Mostly E. A. Not at all B. A bit C. Yes and no D. Mostly E.
Completely Completely

4. I know that life can be a serious thing and treat it 9. I feel stressed.
accordingly. A. Not at all B. A bit C. Yes and no D. Mostly E.
A. Not at all B. A bit C. Yes and no D. Mostly E. Completely
Completely
10. I worry a lot about how things will turn out.
5. I feel totally present to what’s going on now. A. Not at all B. A bit C. Yes and no D. Mostly E.
A. Not at all B. A bit C. Yes and no D. Mostly E. Completely
Completely

For questions 1, 3, 4, 9, 10, score as follows: For questions 2, 5, 6, 7, 8, score as follows:

10 for A. Not at all 2 for A. Not at all
8 for B. A bit 4 for B. A bit
6 for C. Yes and no 6 for C. Yes and no
4 for D. Mostly 8 for D. Mostly
2 for E. Completely 10 for E. Completely

There are ten questions, and each question receives a score out of ten, so you will end up with a total score out of 100
=> F**k It State as a percentage. For example, you might be 78 percent F**k It. .
0–20%: Please continue to read this book until your score improves. This is an urgent matter and MUST NOT BE
IGNORED.
20–40%: ​Well, to look on the bright side: you’re going to notice some amazing changes in your life if you start to say
F**k It. Enjoy the ride.
40–60%: ​We’re getting there: this all rings a bell doesn’t it, but you’re still feeling stuck. Keep reading and keep
saying the magic words until your score improves.
60–80%: Well done, you’re pretty close. Just some tweaking required: caring less a little here, going for it a little
more there, and the F**k It jackpot will soon be yours.

2
80–100%: ​You’ve been on a F**k It Retreat, haven’t you? Continuing to read this book will give you a lovely smug
feeling as you realize that you’re already there.

Learn to relax! ​It`s all about ​energy which moves around the body. When the energy is blocked => illness. You have
to release the emotional / physical tension!
Exercise 1. ​Shaking, standing, sensing the qi / energy
● Stand and shake every part of your body for 5 min.
● Stay still for 5 minutes => recognize the sensations
● Bring your hands together very close together without touching one of another. And open again.
Exercise 2. ​Shaking, standing => ​Standing Stake Qigong
● Shake for 5 min and stand still again.
● A. Imagine a cord is attached to the crown of your head and
is lifting your head gently.
● B. Let the tip of your tongue touch the roof of your mouth,
just behind your teeth.
● C. Tuck in your chin to lengthen the back of your neck.
● D. Let your arms dangle relaxed, and then let them hold an
imaginary huge belly: imagine holding a Buddha belly.
● E. Try to keep your spine straight by tucking your coccyx in
(to do this just stick your butt out, then do the opposite, and
you’re there – it’s called ‘tucking your tail under’).
● F. Keep your knees slightly bent.
● G. Keep your feet apart.

The ​less you try, the more the qi flows. In this form of Qigong, you
just do nothing and that’s it. Then the energy gets the space and
permission to take over, and it all kicks in.
Energy stops ​when you ​concentrate ​/ ​judge ​what is happening /
want to ​understand ​too much.
Hang out in the experience without judging what’s going on!

Love ​reality as it is!

Express it! ​Let go to whatever needs to be expressed.
Be ​neutral​! Like a blank canvas => no judgments / opinions / past experiences
Mindfulness - ​be present to things happening to you without involving too much
Unthink it! - ​enjoy, appreciate the unknown. Stop digging, leave things unturned! Avoid naming, putting labels!
Trust ​your inner voice! When you’re in an open, relaxed, mindful, neutral state, trust what arises, follow its message!
Breathe!!! ​When things hit you / are confused / are about to do sth big and new => BREATHE! When you feel
overwhelmed breathe!
Be ​thankful! ​Write daily 18 things that you’re grateful for => see more things to be grateful for! ​F**k It to all the
things that we should be upset and moaning about.
Feel it! ​Bring your attention to what’s going on in your body. Instead of ignoring it / cover it in thoughts / runing from
it, ​feel the emotion! Look at your emotion straight in the eyes!
Attract it!
1. Be ​happy with what you have​ BUT want s​th else,​ at the same time
2. Be ​clear about what you ​want​, ​without ​being ​attached ​to it. “It would be nice to have that, but my happiness
doesn’t depend on it”
3. Be ​open ​to it happening in many different ways => open to Life helping you do it.

The magic 6
1. Open ​to new possibilities / change /
2. Relax ​your body / mind => breathe!
3. Shift perspective - ​See that things you worry about don’t matter so much
4. Tune in - ​be conscious of what’s going on and feel it, without judging / ignoring it.
5. Trust - ​Pay attention to the inner voice like you would to the words of a legendary guru.
6. Follow - ​Follow whatever it is that feels right once you’ve tuned in

3
Fuck it to others opinion!
When you make your break for freedom, you tend to remind everyone else around you that they’re not free =>
fear-mongering, risk avoiding, follow-the-crowd voices
Reduce the value you place on the messages you get from outside ​(parents, friends, teachers, leaders, politicians,
celebrities, etc.), and ​place value on the messages you get from inside yourself.

When “voices” get to you

1. Persevere! Keep sticking to your chosen direction and trust yourself!
2. Get help! Find a guide who understands what you’re going through and what you’re trying to do, and can help
you from an objective standpoint
3. Play dead! When so. comes to you expressing their concern / disagreement just agree with everything. You
offer no resistance. You make it look as if they’ve helped you to see the error of your ways. ​But you change
nothing. You carry on as you were.

Free in Work Town => ​What do you LOVE doing? If you didn’t have to earn any money to live, what would you
do? How would you spend your time? Write the answers down.
You CAN make money from doing what you love!
This is the formula:
1. Work out what you love.
2. Use your imagination to find ways to make money out of what you love.
3. Use zippy technology to make it all happen.
Free in Money Town => say F**k It around money by being ​conscious ​about your relationship with money and lose
any ​judgment ​of money or those who have it
Free in Relationships Town =>​Your life won’t fall apart if your relationship doesn’t work! ​Ease up ​on yourself /
your partner / your expectations! Tune in: ​What are you really feeling about this relationship and your role in it?
Discuss with your partner. S​ee how things are now, and working with that!
Your partner = ​mirror ​=> your deepest fears manifest in the form of your partner!!!
Free in Well being Town => relax ​around the feeling of obligation to exercise; give up on the idea that you have to
do it, and see instead ​when you want to do it. ​Relax around food! Stop trying diets for the sake of trying. Ease up!
Free in the Town Where Nothing Works! ​When you’re determined to find your way around an obstacle, you can.
Don’t sweat the small stuff. Be flexible and calm down.
Free in the Town Where Shit Happens Feel your pain! Scream / shout / sob if need be. Think of what you have,
rather than what you’ve lost! ​Find sth to appreciate / give you meaning! Remember:
1. things usually get better
2. take one step at a time when times are tough
3. think of what you need to do next - ‘Just keep swimming,’ as Dory says in Finding Nemo.
4. don’t lie; don’t be brave when you’re not, no matter what others will make of it.
Live the Beta life! ​Live in perpetual test mode => try things out and if they work, great, if not, to dump them! Relax -
things don’t have to be perfect! Tune in to see what you feel like doing. Follow and do it – test it, and find out if it
works for you; if not, move on.
Upgrade your life! ​Believe you deserve the best that life has to offer => expect it. Develop a sense of entitlement!
F**k It to your self-doubts / limited beliefs / sense of being a victim of life!
Be present! ​Let go to ideas about how things should be, how it could turn out, and ‘just turn up.’

Fuck it state = all-embracing ​presence ​in the face of whatever ’s happening (tension, relaxation, good, bad, wellness,
and sickness => you can be free while you’re still in ‘prison’