40 Educational Perspectives v Volume 46 v Numbers 1 and 2

Keeping a Journal: A Path to Uncovering Identity

(and keeping your sanity)
Joanne E. Cooper

When I was a graduate student, I kept a journal in which I wrote about my desire to be more
organized (from Cooper, J. (1991) Telling Our Own Stories, p.96):
Five bananas rot on top of the cookie jar. I realize I have two choicesmake banana
bread or writemy body is shot, my children feel neglected, the food in my kitchen is rot-
ting and my partner has moved on to God and a new wiferight now I wish my God (or
my wife) knew how to make banana bread. No such luck.

Here, you can see me grappling with my own growing Understanding who we are is crucial to the
sense of professional identity and how it conflicts with development of the self. Parker Palmer (2004) claims
my roles as head of household and mother. Keeping that one of our most important tasks is connecting
ones center amid the conflicting demands of various who we are with what we do. Writing in the journal
roles is tricky to say the least. I know a faculty member can help us understand both who we are and what
who described her life as trying to keep a series of we are doing with our lives. This task is even more
spinning plates in the air (Stevens and Cooper, 2009). complex because, as we write, things change. This is
She reported that when she kept a journal, her plates a compelling reason to write regularlyin order to
were less chipped or broken. I didnt keep a profes- keep up with changing events. As Barbara, a former
sional journal in graduate school, I kept a dissertation university president put it, When I want to know
journal. Does that count? but I began to keep one what I really think, I write in my journalIt is an
as a faculty member after watching my colleague, evolving me; it is an organic process; it is discovery
Dannelle, do the same. A journal can help you to be work. Writing in my journal changes me. I am
more organized, clarify your identity, and help you growing and evolving as I write (Stevens & Cooper,
grapple with your own sense of belonging in the often 2009, p, 37). Thus, journal keeping not only helps you
bewildering world of academe. to get in touch with who you are, but helps you to
track your evolving identity.
Journal Keeping and Identity The understanding of your evolving identity
The central question for most journal keepers is, helps you to make more informed decisions about
Who am I? We write to discover who we are or at your life. Journal writing cannot make your problems
the very least, what we think. Most writers report a magically disappear, but it does heighten your
sense of discovery and surprise when they write. Oh! awareness of those problems and helps you to find
Thats what I think! I didnt realize that. Journal keep- a way to grapple with them. Writing about your
ing is a way to read your own thoughts, to mine them problems gives you perspective on those problems
for understanding. Peter Elbow (1998) says people and helps you to reframe them in more positive
wouldnt keep writing if it werent for the surprises. ways. Jeffrey Berman asserts, by changing our
Writing in a journal keeps us going and adds to our stories of ourselves, we change our lives
understanding of who we are. (1994, p. 40).
 Identity 41

Benefits and Uses seemed smarter and cleverer. But regularly writing his
Getting Organized thoughts in his journal helped him to see, over time,
While I have kept a personal journal for over thirty how his confidence and sense of belonging grew.
years (Okay, Im an addicted journal keeper, I admit Stephen Brookfield (1995) has described the sense
it.), I have found that a professional journal is quite of inadequacy as the imposter syndrome, stating that
different and keeps me much more organized. My everyone has it doctoral students, faculty, and
professional journal goes with me to all the meetings even famous academics like Brookfield. We all feel a
I have attended as a faculty member, as well as the little like we dont belong, and he believes that this is
year I served as Associate Dean of the College. It holds normal. The journal can be a way to write yourself into
the notes to all the meetings I attend, states the dates greater clarity about such anxieties.
of those meetings, who is in attendance and what Writing journals has been described as a way of
is decided. It also holds lists of all the phone calls I reading your own mind. It is a way to make concrete
receive and check marks after I have returned the calls. the ideas that often float in your head without ever
It contains musings on the contents of the meetings being written down. Journals are especially useful for
and on the business of our department. It is a place to students who are studying a particular profession and
hold new ideas that pop into my head while I am in feel the need to connect with that discipline and their
those meetings, whether the ideas are related to that future professional community.
particular meeting or not. It holds plane schedules, For example, outdoor educators Dyment and
class schedules, notes from my meetings with advisees OConnell (2003) have described seven types of
and what was decided. In other words, it holds my entries they want to see in their students journals.
sanity in a crazy world that often feels like it is spin- They include personal reflections and self-discovery,
ning out of control. group dynamics, professional development, sense of
Before I kept a professional journal, I used to place/connection to place, transfer of academic theory
spend frantic minutes right before a meeting looking to field course, transfer of field course to academic
for the folder that held that particular committees theory, and factual information. In truth, almost all
notes. Now I just blissfully pick up my ever handy of these types of entries will contribute to a growing
journal and waltz out the door, confident in my abil- sense of identity and of belonging to a particular
ity to answer any questions about what the heck we academic community or discipline. These seven will
did last time the committee met. Ive got it all in my help you to get started as a novice journal keeper who
trusty notebookprobably more than the committee wants to use the journal to clarify who they are and
members want to know. just what they are doing in their chosen profession
questions, I think, we all grapple with.
Finding Your Identity and Sense of Belonging
Another advantage of writing in a professional Techniques
journal is that it provides an emerging portrait of who Some basic techniques will help you get started
you are as an educator. Richard, a doctoral student, on your journey. One of the most powerful is free-
stated it clearly in our book on journal keeping (see writing. The only rule in freewriting is that the pen
Stevens and Cooper, 2009) when he described how hits the page, produces words, and does not stop for
he wrote every day at noon during his lunch and a set period of, say, five to ten minutes for beginners
then, when funding opportunities came up, he was (Stevens & Cooper, 2009). You need not worry about
ready with a beautiful collection of ideas gleaned punctuation or spelling, your central task is to see
from his journal musings. An image of his emerging what emerges. You do not even have to stick to the
professional self was right there on the pages. Richard same topic this is the place to see where your writ-
wrote that he first started the journal because he didnt ing takes you. That is part of the discovery process
feel as if he belonged in a doctoral program. Everyone I mentioned earlier. This process is most effective
42 Educational Perspectives v Volume 46 v Numbers 1 and 2

if it is private (few want to share their raw words Drawbacks

off the page); but freewriting can help you discover The biggest drawback to journal writing may be
whats on your mind and what your concerns are, time. Many people say, Yeah, it sounds great but
and it often enables solutions to emerge as you write. I dont have the time. But there are some tricks to
Some people think this is just writing garbage, squeezing time out of your busy days. You could
but the process is like cultivating fertile soil that can write, as Richard does, during your lunch hour. You
yield positive results if you keep it up. As William could write during meetings, during lulls in the con-
Stafford, the poet laureate of Oregon, states, A writ- versation, or only when someone makes an important
er is not so much someone who has something to say point. Having your journal handy often helps you to
as he is someone who has found a process that will find those moments when you have time to write.
bring about new things he would not have thought You can also make a ritual out of it. I get up early
of if he had not started to say them (Stafford, 1964, in the morning before everyone else and write in
pp. 1415). the quiet of dawn. It is soothing and centers me for
Another powerful technique is dialogue. the day. Or you can write just before you go to bed,
Dialogue is a conversation between people, parts, reflecting on the day youve just had. Journal keeping
ideas or things (Rainer, 1978, p. 103). You can write takes time, but it also saves time. You are more
a dialogue with yourself, with your boss, with efficient when you know what happened in the last
your colleagues, your family, etc. These dialogues meeting, who was assigned to which tasks, etc. You
are private. There is no requirement to share them can also create to-do lists during the meeting as issues
with anyone unless you want to. They are a way for emerge. Then you are ready for the work ahead.
you to distance yourself from others and write out Another possible drawback is the issue of
an imaginary conversation with them. They help privacy. Each person needs to work out their own
provide fresh perspectives on situations or people system for feeling safe. I know one woman who kept
and allow you to mine your innate wisdom about all her old journals in a safe deposit box in the bank.
issues. Dialogues allow you to speak, but also to Others find a secluded spot to keep their current
listen to one another, to see anothers point of view journal where people are unlikely to find it. If you
simply by writing out their part in the dialogue. You carry your journal with you all day, you are less
can also write dialogues with inanimate objects, such likely to worry about this.
as a dialogue with your thesis or dissertation or with Closely related to this is the need for solitude.
a particular project you are working on. Your project Hal Bennett (1995, p. 41) states, However we define
may yield valuable advice for you, which can be it, however we get it, we need solitude. If you are
uncovered through dialogue. to turn your mind inward, you need to eliminate
Another important journal technique is meta- distractions that might pull you back to the outer
phor. Metaphor describes one thing by comparing world. You need room to reflect, to dream, to find
it to something else (Lakoff & Johnson, 1980). the surprises in what you have to say. Solitude can
Metaphors tap our holistic sense of a person or situ- nurture us. Finding it can be tricky, however. Some
ation and help us to see issues, people, or work from people discover, to their dismay, that they have no
a fresh perspective. They draw on your intuitive solitude in their lives. Try to think back to a time when
knowledge of what is going on. Metaphors can be you had even a fleeting moment of solitude, such as
created over time to get a sense of how things are the time when you were running alone on a dirt road.
changing. As we say in our book on journal keeping, If you have no such recollections, you can dream about
Metaphor is the back door into deeper understand- a place of solitude you might want in the future a
ingand a way to understand the self through the room of ones own, as Virginia Woolf put it. It doesnt
extension of ideas in new directions (Stevens & have to be a cabin in the woods or a caf in Paris, think
Cooper, 2009, p. 97).
 Identity 43

about your own life and where you find the most Stevens, D., & Cooper, J. (2009). Journal Keeping: How to Use
solitude. It might be in the bathtub or in the garden. Reflective Writing for Learning, Teaching, Professional Insight
and Positive Change. Sterling, VA.: Stylus Publishing, LLC.
These moments nourish your soul and help you to be
Thomas, L. (1995). Late night thoughts on listening to Mahlers
clearer about who you are and where you are going. symphony. New York: Penguin Books.

Conclusion
In whatever way you decide to keep a journal,
the process will help you to carve out what Lewis
Thomas, a famous biologist and essayist, describes as
. . . your indisputably, singular, unique self. (1995,
p. 130). This self is precious and needs to be cherished.
Journal keeping can help you both to understand and
to nourish your unique self. Your task is to shape and
discover ideas about your relationship to your work,
your world, yourself, and your loved ones. Journal
keeping provides a rich tool box of ideas for you to
ponder. As one journal keeper stated, My brain is like
a treasure chest filled with gold and silver and the way
to get it is by unlocking the lock. The key to opening
the chest is the journal (Stevens & Cooper, 2009, p.33).

REFERENCES
Bennett, H. (1995). Write from the heart: Unleashing the power
of your creativity Novato, CA: Nataraj Publishing.
Berman, J. (1994). Diaries to an English professor: Pain
and growth in the classroom. Amherst: University of
Massachusetts Press.
Brookfield, S. J. (1995). Becoming a critically reflective teacher.
San Francisco: Jossey Bass.
Cooper, J. E. (1991). Telling our own stories: The reading and
writing of journals or diaries. In Witherell & Noddings,
Stories lives tell: Narrative and dialogue in education. New
York: Teachers College Press, 96113.
Dyment, J., & OConnell, T. (Spring, 2003). Getting the
most out or journaling: Strategies for outdoor educators.
Pathways, 15 (2), 3134.
Elbow, P. (1998). Writing without teachers. New York: Oxford
University Press.
Lakoff G., & Johnson, M. (1980). Metaphors we live by.
Chicago: University of Chicago Press.
Palmer, P. (2004). Hidden wholeness: The journey toward an
undivided life. San Francisco, CA.: Jossey-Bass.
Rainer, T. (1978). The new diary: how to use a journal for self-
guidance and expanded creativity. Los Angeles: J. P. Tarcher.
Stafford, W. (1964). You must revise your life. Ann Arbor, MI.:
University of Michigan Press.