Habit 1:- Be Proactive

Your life doesn't just "happen." Whether you know it or not, it is

carefully designed by you. The choices, after all, are yours. You
choose happiness. You choose sadness. You choose decisiveness. You
choose ambivalence. You choose success. You choose failure. You
choose courage. You choose fear. Just remember that every moment,
every situation, provides a new choice. And in doing so, it gives you a
perfect opportunity to do things differently to produce more positive
results.

Habit 1: Be Proactive is about taking responsibility for your life. You
can't keep blaming everything on your parents or grandparents.
Proactive people recognize that they are "response-able." They don't
blame genetics, circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their
behavior. They know they choose their behavior. Reactive people, on
the other hand, are often affected by their physical environment. They
find external sources to blame for their behavior. If the weather is
good, they feel good. If it isn't, it affects their attitude and
performance, and they blame the weather. All of these external forces
act as stimuli that we respond to. Between the stimulus and the
response is your greatest power--you have the freedom to choose your
response. One of the most important things you choose is what you
say. Your language is a good indicator of how you see yourself. A
proactive person uses proactive language--I can, I will, I prefer, etc. A
reactive person uses reactive language--I can't, I have to, if only.
Reactive people believe they are not responsible for what they say and
do--they have no choice.

Instead of reacting to or worrying about conditions over which they
have little or no control, proactive people focus their time and energy
on things they can control. The problems, challenges, and
opportunities we face fall into two areas--Circle of Concern and Circle
of Influence.

Proactive people focus their efforts on their Circle of Influence. They
work on the things they can do something about: health, children,
problems at work. Reactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of
Concern--things over which they have little or no control: the national
debt, terrorism, the weather. Gaining an awareness of the areas in
which we expend our energies in is a giant step in becoming proactive.

HABIT 2: BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND
So, what do you want to be when you grow up? That question may appear
a little trite, but think about it for a moment. Are you--right now--who you
want to be, what you dreamed you'd be, doing what you always wanted to

do? Be honest. Sometimes people find themselves achieving victories that
are empty--successes that have come at the expense of things that were
far more valuable to them. If your ladder is not leaning against the right
wall, every step you take gets you to the wrong place faster.

Habit 2 is based on imagination--the ability to envision in your mind what
you cannot at present see with your eyes. It is based on the principle that
all things are created twice. There is a mental (first) creation, and a
physical (second) creation. The physical creation follows the mental, just
as a building follows a blueprint. If you don't make a conscious effort to
visualize who you are and what you want in life, then you empower other
people and circumstances to shape you and your life by default. It's about
connecting again with your own uniqueness and then defining the
personal, moral, and ethical guidelines within which you can most happily
express and fulfill yourself. Begin with the End in Mind means to begin
each day, task, or project with a clear vision of your desired direction and
destination, and then continue by flexing your proactive muscles to make
things happen.

One of the best ways to incorporate Habit 2 into your life is to develop a
Personal Mission Statement. It focuses on what you want to be and do. It
is your plan for success. It reaffirms who you are, puts your goals in focus,
and moves your ideas into the real world. Your mission statement makes
you the leader of your own life. You create your own destiny and secure
the future you envision.

HABIT 3: PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST
To live a more balanced existence, you have to recognize that not doing
everything that comes along is okay. There's no need to overextend
yourself. All it takes is realizing that it's all right to say no when necessary
and then focus on your highest priorities.

Habit 1 says, "You're in charge. You're the creator." Being proactive is
about choice. Habit 2 is the first, or mental, creation. Beginning with the
End in Mind is about vision. Habit 3 is the second creation, the physical
creation. This habit is where Habits 1 and 2 come together. It happens day
in and day out, moment-by-moment. It deals with many of the questions
addressed in the field of time management. But that's not all it's about.
Habit 3 is about life management as well--your purpose, values, roles, and
priorities. What are "first things?" First things are those things you,
personally, find of most worth. If you put first things first, you are
organizing and managing time and events according to the personal
priorities you established in Habit 2.

HABIT 4: THINK WIN-WIN
Think Win-Win isn't about being nice, nor is it a quick-fix technique. It is a
character-based code for human interaction and collaboration.

Most of us learn to base our self-worth on comparisons and competition.
We think about succeeding in terms of someone else failing--that is, if I
win, you lose; or if you win, I lose. Life becomes a zero-sum game. There
is only so much pie to go around, and if you get a big piece, there is less
for me; it's not fair, and I'm going to make sure you don't get anymore.
We all play the game, but how much fun is it really?

Win-win sees life as a cooperative arena, not a competitive one. Win-win
is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all
human interactions. Win-win means agreements or solutions are mutually
beneficial and satisfying. We both get to eat the pie, and it tastes pretty
darn good!

A person or organization that approaches conflicts with a win-win attitude
possesses three vital character traits:
1. Integrity: sticking with your true feelings, values, and
commitments
2. Maturity: expressing your ideas and feelings with courage and
consideration for the ideas and feelings of others
3. Abundance Mentality: believing there is plenty for everyone
Many people think in terms of either/or: either you're nice or you're tough.
Win-win requires that you be both. It is a balancing act between courage
and consideration. To go for win-win, you not only have to be empathic,
but you also have to be confident. You not only have to be considerate
and sensitive, you also have to be brave. To do that--to achieve that
balance between courage and consideration--is the essence of real
maturity and is fundamental to win-win.

HABIT 5: SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD
Communication is the most important skill in life. You spend years learning
how to read and write, and years learning how to speak. But what about
listening? What training have you had that enables you to listen so you
really, deeply understand another human being? Probably none, right?

If you're like most people, you probably seek first to be understood; you
want to get your point across. And in doing so, you may ignore the other
person completely, pretend that you're listening, selectively hear only
certain parts of the conversation or attentively focus on only the words
being said, but miss the meaning entirely. So why does this happen?
Because most people listen with the intent to reply, not to understand.
You listen to yourself as you prepare in your mind what you are going to
say, the questions you are going to ask, etc. You filter everything you hear
through your life experiences, your frame of reference. You check what
you hear against your autobiography and see how it measures up. And
consequently, you decide prematurely what the other person means
before he/she finishes communicating. Do any of the following sound
familiar?

"Oh, I know just how you feel. I felt the same way." "I had that same
thing happen to me." "Let me tell you what I did in a similar situation."

Because you so often listen autobiographically, you tend to respond in one
of four ways:
Evaluating: You judge and then either agree or disagree.
Probing: You ask questions from your own frame of reference.
Advising: You give counsel, advice, and solutions to problems.
Interpreting: You analyze others' motives and behaviors based on
your own experiences.

You might be saying, "Hey, now wait a minute. I'm just trying to relate to
the person by drawing on my own experiences. Is that so bad?" In some
situations, autobiographical responses may be appropriate, such as when
another person specifically asks for help from your point of view or when
there is already a very high level of trust in the relationship.

HABIT 6: SYNERGIZE
To put it simply, synergy means "two heads are better than one."
Synergize is the habit of creative cooperation. It is teamwork,
open-mindedness, and the adventure of finding new solutions to
old problems. But it doesn't just happen on its own. It's a
process, and through that process, people bring all their personal
experience and expertise to the table. Together, they can
produce far better results that they could individually. Synergy
lets us discover jointly things we are much less likely to
discover by ourselves. It is the idea that the whole is greater than
the sum of the parts. One plus one equals three, or six, or sixty--
you name it.

When people begin to interact together genuinely, and they're
open to each other's influence, they begin to gain new insight.
The capability of inventing new approaches is increased
exponentially because of differences.

Valuing differences is what really drives synergy. Do you truly
value the mental, emotional, and psychological differences
among people? Or do you wish everyone would just agree with
you so you could all get along? Many people mistake uniformity
for unity; sameness for oneness. One word--boring! Differences
should be seen as strengths, not weaknesses. They add zest to
life.


HABIT 7: SHARPEN THE SAW
Sharpen the Saw means preserving and enhancing the greatest asset you
have--you. It means having a balanced program for self-renewal in the
four areas of your life: physical, social/emotional, mental, and spiritual.
Here are some examples of activities:
Physical: Beneficial eating, exercising, and resting
Social/Emotional:
Making social and meaningful connections
with others
Mental: Learning, reading, writing, and teaching
Spiritual: Spending time in nature, expanding spiritual
self through meditation, music, art, prayer, or
service

As you renew yourself in each of the four areas, you create growth and
change in your life. Sharpen the Saw keeps you fresh so you can continue
to practice the other six habits. You increase your capacity to produce and
handle the challenges around you. Without this renewal, the body
becomes weak, the mind mechanical, the emotions raw, the spirit
insensitive, and the person selfish. Not a pretty picture, is it?

Feeling good doesn't just happen. Living a life in balance means taking the
necessary time to renew yourself. It's all up to you. You can renew
yourself through relaxation. Or you can totally burn yourself out by
overdoing everything. You can pamper yourself mentally and spiritually.
Or you can go through life oblivious to your well-being. You can
experience vibrant energy. Or you can procrastinate and miss out on the
benefits of good health and exercise. You can revitalize yourself and face a
new day in peace and harmony. Or you can wake up in the morning full of
apathy because your get-up-and-go has got-up-and-gone. Just remember
that every day provides a new opportunity for renewal--a new opportunity
to recharge yourself instead of hitting the wall. All it takes is the desire,
knowledge, and skill.

THE 8TH HABIT

: FROM EFFECTIVENESS TO GREATNESS

In today's challenging and complex world, being highly effective is the
price of entry to the playing field. To thrive, innovate, excel, and lead in
this new reality, we must reach beyond effectiveness toward fulfillment,
contribution, and greatness. Research is showing, however, that the
majority of people are not thriving. They are neither fulfilled nor excited.
Tapping into the higher reaches of human motivation requires a new
mindset, a new skill-set --a new habit. Dr. Covey's new book, The 8th
Habit

: From Effectiveness to Greatness, is a roadmap to help you find

daily fulfillment and excitement.