Pastoral Care Volunteer Handbook

Caring Listening Empathizing

Table of Contents
History of Pastoral Care at Cooper Page 3
Working Conditions Page 4
Rules of the Institution Page 5
Volunteer Code of Ethics Page 8
Not !"R #genda Page $$
%o&s and %on&ts Page $'
The i()ortance of *istening Page $5
+rief Page $8
Pra,er Page '$
Res)ect other&s -eliefs Page '.
Words fro( the Volunteer Coordinator
Page '/
2
HISTORY OF PASTORAL CARE AT COOPER
Cooper Hospital's journey towards a pastoral care department began in October 1989
when the Human Resource Department chose to change the ocus o !astoral Care rom a
department o "olunteers to an educational training center# $he search o a director
resulted in the hiring o the Re"# Catherine Coo% Da"is whose primary responsibility&
beyond the care o patients and their amilies& was the ormation o an accredited clinical
pastoral education program# 'ter more than a year o ground wor%& the budget or a
Clinical !astoral (ducation program was appro"ed in )une 1992# $he search or a ully
certiied chaplain super"isor began# $his process was much more diicult than
anticipated& perhaps because o the uni*ue *ualities needed to be eecti"e in the blighted
urban setting o the hospital+s immediate location# $he Re"# Robert ,# Chol%e was hired
in )uly 199- and began wor% under Da"is#
$he Cooper Health .ystem& %nown at that time as /Cooper Hospital01ni"ersity 2edical
Center&3 oered its irst e4tended unit o C!( in )anuary 1995& under the auspices o
Robert ,ood )ohnson Hospital in 6ew 7runswic%& 6)& with chaplain and C!(
super"isor )ohn De8elder#
Robert Chol%e was hired in 'ugust& 199- as the Director o !astoral Care#
$he clinical pastoral education program that is currently oered through the pastoral care
department was oered in the winter o 1995# $his program oers continuing education
to clergy& seminary students& and those who wish to become proessional& board certiied
chaplains# $he training program in pastoral care 9C!(: is ully accredited as an 'llied
Health (ducation program#
$o date& the C!( program has oered education to seminary students rom many wal%s
o lie& many dierent aith groups and seminaries# .ome o the seminaries where
students come rom include !rinceton& ;ale& Har"ard theological seminaries< =utheran
seminaries rom !hiladelphia and >ettysburg< .t# Charles and !almer seminaries in
!hiladelphia& 1nion seminary& 6ew ;or%< 8irginia $heological .eminary& the
Reconstructionist Rabbinical .eminary< 2ora"ian seminary and international seminaries
in ?orea& 6igeria& and other parts o 'rica#
$he mission o the Cooper Health .ystem is to ad"ance the health status o the region's
population through the pro"ision o appropriate health and medical care& inclusi"e o high
*uality& compassionate pastoral care# $o accomplish this mission& Cooper ser"es as a
principal site or the education o clergy and other health proessionals in a wide "ariety
o disciplines& pro"iding programs o allied and community health education& and
oering highly comple4 health care resources to assist in the educational process#
-
@n the spring o 2AAB& Chaplain Chol%e died suddenly# His "acancy was illed by
Chaplain Robert =umpe# @n Cebruary 2AA8& )ohn 8alentino was hired to run the C!(
program and Re"# 2ar% .te"ens was promoted to "olunteer coordinator#
WORKING CONDITIONS:
$0 The 1olunteer (a, at ti(es be e2)osed to un)leasant sights3 sounds3
odors0
'0 The 1olunteer (a, be e2)osed to )atients and fa(ilies 4ho are
grie1ing and 4ho (a, dis)la, o)en e2)ressions of anger or e2tre(e
stress0
.0 The 1olunteer 4orks in an en1iron(ent that could e2)ose the( to
infectious diseases3
40 The 1olunteer (ust be alert at all ti(es for s)ills and li5uids on the
floor that could cause ,ou to sli) and fall0
The abo1e state(ents are intended to describe the general nature and le1el
of the 4ork being )erfor(ed b, )astoral care 1olunteers0 The, are not
e2hausti1e lists of all duties3 res)onsibilities3 kno4ledge3 skills3 abilities3 and
4orking conditions associated 4ith it0
The 1olunteer&s signature indicates that the intern has recei1ed a co), of
the 6ob descri)tion0

77777777777777777777777 7777777777777
Cha)lain Robert *0 *u()e
%irector3 Pastoral Care %ate
5
Rules of the Institution
Volunteering at a hos)ital )la,s an i()ortant role in the
healing of )atients and assisting their fa(ilies0 8er1ing
others is a s)ecial gift and hos)itals are searching for
those 4ho 4ill ser1e )atients in all areas0 Volunteering
)ro1ides the (eaningful and re4arding sense of ser1ing
others and the co((unit,0#ll hos)itals and institutions
ha1e rules and regulations )ri(aril, to )rotect the
)atients and the staff0 9IP## The 9ealth Portabilit,
and #ccountabilit, #ct 4as enacted b, Congress in $::/
to )rotect )atient infor(ation0 ou 4ill recei1e a 9IP##
breifing before ,ou start 1olunteering0
$0 Re(e(ber the )atient&s needs and agenda
is )ara(ount3 4hen 1isiting a )atient
re(e(ber their roo( is like their ho(e3
the, can acce)t ,our 1isit or decline0 %on&t
be offended if a )atient sa,&s the, don&t
4ant a 1isit0 The )atient (a, acce)t a 1isit
but decline )ra,er or reading (aterial
T9#T is their right0
D
'0 %o not )roslet,se; our )ri(ar, )ur)ose is
to listen to the )atient and offer )ra,er if
the, acce)t it0 If the, decide the, 4ant to
discuss (atters of faith then )roceed 4ith
cal( )atience0 Ne1er argue religious
beliefs 4ith a )atient0
.0 If the )atient in 5uestion of of a faith
different than ,ours don&t ignore that
)atient3 offer a s(ile and the sa(e 4ar(th
,ou 4ould an,one else0
40 If the )atient doesn&t s)eak English tr,
and find a Cha)lain of 1olunteer that (a,
s)eak their language0 We (a, ha1e
literature or -ibles in their language0
50 Ne1er interfere 4ith a doctor or nurse&s
duties; If a doctor co(es in to s)eak to a
)atient e2cuse ,ourself and offer to
return later0 %octors are s)read thin and
ha1e to 1isit a lot of )atients0 The doctor
and or the )atient (a, not feel
co(fortable 4ith ,ou <a stranger= standing
there <Re(e(ber 9IP##=
/0 If there is a code 5uickl, ste) aside and
sta, out of the (edical staff&s 4a,0
>0 #l4a,s introduce ,ourself at the nurses
desk before ,ou 1isit )atient<s=3 this
)re1ents e(barrassing situations later on3
like so(eone challenging ,our )resence0
%on&t be offended if so(eone asks to see
B
,our badge or ask 4ho ,ou are0 Re(e(ber
,ou (a, onl, co(e there one da, a 4eek3
the staff (a, not recogni?e ,ou0
80 -eco(e fa(iliar 4ith the codes on ,our
badge
:0 8o(eti(es the staff es)eciall, in the
E(ergenc, Roo( and Trau(a (a, be 1er,
bus, and not o1erl, talkati1e3 re(e(ber
the, are in the business of sa1ing li1es and
are usuall, under a lot of stress
the(sel1es0 The, need our su))ort and
)ra,ers as do the )atients0
$@0 -efore starting ,our shift check 4ith
the )astoral care office and see 4here ,ou
are best needed0
E
VOLNT!!R COD! O" !THICS # R!SPONSI$ILITI!S
$0 #ffir(s and res)ects the dignit, and res)ect of each )erson0
'0 %oes not discri(inate against an,one because of race3 gender3 age3 faith3
national origin3 se2ual orientation or )h,sical disabilit,0
.0 Res)ects the integrit, and )rotects the 4elfare of those ser1ed or
su)er1isedA (aintains relationshi)s 4ith those ser1ed on a +odl, basis b,
a1oiding se2ual contact <e1en if b, consent=3 e(otional3 or an, other for( of
e2)loitation of )ersons or grou)s0
40 #))roaches the religious con1ictions of a )erson 4ith res)ect and
sensiti1it,A a1oids the i()osition of her or his theolog, on those ser1ed or
su)er1ised0
50 Protects the confidentialit, of those ser1ed0 <SIGN!D
CON"ID!NTI%LIT& ST%T!'!NT R!(IR!D %T COOP!R)
/0 Baintains faithful (e(bershi) C relationshi) 4ithin her or his
congregation0
>0 %oes not directl, or b, i()lication clai( )rofessional 5ualifications that
e2ceed actual 5ualifications or (isre)resent his or her affiliation 4ith an,
institution3 organi?ation or indi1idualA is res)onsible for correcting the
(isre)resentation or (isunderstanding of his or her 5ualifications or
affiliations0
80 %oes not (ake it a))ear3 directl, or indirectl, that she or he s)eaks on
behalf of the hos)ital e2ce)t 4hen authori?ed b, the hos)ital or director of
)astoral care0
:0 Res)ects the integrit, and )rotects the 4elfare of colleagues on the
Volunteer 8)iritual C Pastoral Care Tea(0
8
$@0 8hall take res)onsible action 4hen concerns about inco()etence3
i()air(ent3 or (isconduct arise0
Respo*si+ilities
$0 #ttends and )artici)ates in all 1olunteer (eetings and training sessions0
'0 Refrains fro( )rosel,ti?ing3 e1angeli?ing3 or i()osing one&s o4n )ersonal
faith on to )atients3 fa(ilies3 and staff0
.0 Refers crisis inter1ention to the a))ro)riate staff cha)lain0
40 #ssists the staff cha)lains in identif,ing the religion of those listed as
DNone Chosen or "nkno4n0E
50 Regards all con1ersation 4ith )atients3 fa(ilies3 and staff as D8acred
TalkE or 8acred 8)eech and (aintains the confidentialit, of 4hat 4as said0
/0 Conducts self in a )rofessional3 friendl, and hos)itable (anner at all ti(es
and utili?es good custo(er skills0
>0 #dheres to 9IPP# standards <confidentialit,=0
80 #dheres to all hos)ital standards3 )olicies3 and )rocedures0
:0 %e(onstrates a )ositi1e attitude3 4illingness to follo4 instructions and
learn3 and functions as a (e(ber of the )astoral care tea(0
III) SP!CI%L SKILLS %ND %$ILITI!S R!(IR!DF
$0 Bust be able to 4ork inde)endentl, and often 4ithout s)ecific directions
and be self directed 4ithout the )rodding of an authorit, figure0
'0 Bust be able to tolerate and (anage 4orking in a high stress en1iron(ent0
.0 Professional beha1ior is e2)ected at all ti(es0
9
40 Bust be able to tolerate high le1els a(biguit, and (aintain a nonGan2ious
)resence0
50 %e(onstrates e()ath, for the hu(an condition and )roble(s e2)erienced
b, )atients and fa(ilies0
/0 Bust be co(fortable 4orking around doctors3 nurses3 and other health
care )rofessionals0
>0 Bust be 4illing to 4ork in an ecu(enical en1iron(ent and 1isit to )eo)le
fro( all 4alks of life3 res)ect the 1alues of )eo)le fro( all ethnic3 cultural3
and religious backgrounds3 faith grou)s3 and countries0
1A
Not !"R #genda
Hnock and ask )er(ission to enter0 This3 of course3 4e 4ould do if
4e are going to so(eoneIs ho(e0 This is also true of the hos)ital3
too0 9os)itals reall, arenIt set u) for )ri1ac,0 9el) (aintain 4hat
)ri1ac, is left b, asking )er(ission to enter0
-e encouraging0 !ne of the best 4a,s to do this is a1oid so(e
co((on )itfalls0 %onIt talk about ,ou o4n illnesses andCor
)roble(s0 What has ha))ened to ,ou is not hel)ful to this
)ersonIs situation0 %onIt talk about )eo)le are J4orse offJ than
this )erson0 This (a, be 1er, true3 but the fact that so(eone
else (a, be in a 4orse condition does not lessen this )ersonIs
situation0 %o focus on the )erson being 1isited and things of
interest and i()ort to the(0
-e )ositi1e and cheerful0 -, definition3 if a )erson is ill3 the, ha1e
added Jnegati1esJ in their life0 8o(e )ositi1e in)ut 4ould be (uch
a))reciated0 -e a4are of the circu(stance3 though0 If the
situation is )articularl, gra1e3 being chi))er (a, co(e across as
being insensiti1e to the the seriousness of the situation0 Kust
donIt e2acerbate the situation0
-e co()assionate0 In circu(stances of illness3 )eo)le (a, not be
at their best e(otionall,0 Their )h,sical struggle3 (a, be 4earing
on their e(otions0 Their res)onses to 1isitors (a, not be 4hat is
antici)ated0 The, (a, use 1isitors as a sounding board for other
illness related frustrations0 -e a good listener0 This is not the
ti(e to correct or fi2 an, (isguided thinking0 Bost of that 4ill
11
take care of itself 4ith reco1er, <4hich 4ill include e(otional
reco1er,=0
%o&s and %on&ts
Do,s-)
S.ile a*/ +e frie*/ly
Let t0e. /o .ost of t0e tal1i*g
If yo2 feel le/ to 0ol/ t0eir 0a*/3
espe4ially 50e* t0ey are se*ior 4iti6e*s)
Loo1 t0e. i* t0e eye3 /o*,t stare at t0e
floor or off i* spa4e
Offer to pray 5it0 t0e.
se 02.or3 la2g0ter is li1e .e/i4i*e
%s1 if t0ey *ee/ a $i+le or e7e* a
Ne5spaper 8Papers are free i* t0e 0ospital9
Refer t0e. to a So4ial Wor1er for after
4are iss2es li1e 0o2si*g3 tra*sportatio*3 et4)
et4)
"ollo5 2p 5it0 So4ial Ser7i4es to i*s2re t0ey
got t0e 0elp t0ey *ee/)
12
Do*,ts--
Do*,t PR!%CH:
Do*,t feel o+ligate/ to al5ays /is42ss
Go/3 It,s OK to /is42ss sports3 fa.ily3 or
a*y iss2e t0e P%TI!NT 5a*ts to tal1
a+o2t)
Do*,t atta41 t0eir +eliefs
Do*,t offer .e/i4al a/7i4e 8&o2 are NOT
a /o4tor9
Do*,t offer spirit2al a/7i4e 2*less t0ey
as1 or i*itiate t0e 4o*7ersatio*)
Do*,t .a1e pro.ises yo2 4a**ot 1eep:
Do*,t ta1e si/es i* fa.ily /isp2tes:
Do*,t gi7e yo2r perso*al i*for.atio* to a
patie*t:
Do*,t gi7e t0e appeara*4e t0at yo2 are i*
a 02rry)
Do*,t sit o* t0e +e/: Sit i* a 40air if
t0ere is o*e3 sta*/i*g o7er a patie*t 4a*
+e i*ti.i/ati*g at ti.es
Do*,t ta1e a patie*t o2t of t0e 0ospital
for a s.o1e:
1-
Do*,t .a1e +2si*ess /eals 5it0 t0e
patie*t:
Do*,t 1iss a patie*t: 8&ea0 I 1*o5 a
40aplai* t0at /i/ t0is a*/ got i* tro2+le9
Do*,t as1 t0e patie*t o2t o* a /ate 8see
a+o7e3 sa.e 40aplai*9
Do*,t say t0i*gs li1e ;Go/ /oes*,t .a1e
.ista1es<3 ;&o2 5ill get o7er t0is<3 or ;I
+ee* t0ere /o*e t0at<
Do*,t =2ote s4ript2res to a 5o.a* t0at
>2st lost 0er 40il/: S0e *ee/s a 02g *ot a
ser.o*:
15
The i()ortance of *istening
!ffe4ti7e Liste*i*g
Hno4ing the difference bet4een 4hat is said3 4hat ,ou hear3 and 4hat
is (eant0 Effecti1e listening in1ol1es four stages0
T0e "o2r Stages Of Liste*i*g
Se*si*g The sense of hearing being e()lo,ed to take in the
(essage0
!ur (inds ha1e the abilit, to listen four ti(es faster than a
)erson can talk0 !ne challenge to effecti1e listening 4ould be
focusing our (inds on hearing 4hat is said rather than the
se1eral other things going on in our li1es at an, gi1en (o(ent0
To i()ro1e the skill3 look directl, at the )erson talking0 #s ,ou
hear the 4ords said3 also start reading the bod, language0 *isten
for tone and intonation0 With ad1ance(ent in the art3 ,ou 4ill be
able to notice e1en (ore subtle bod, language such as )u)il
(o1e(ent0
!n the fli) side3 if ,our taking )art in )ublic s)eaking3 ,our
audience 4ill face the sa(e challenge ,ou do 4ith the art of
listening0 "nderstanding this 4ill be an aid to de1elo)ing and
i()ro1ing ,our )ublic s)eaking skills0
*/ersta*/i*g The )rocessing and inter)reting of the (essage0
Rather than thinking 4hat ,our going to sa, ne2t3 tr, to think of
4hat is being said fro( the stand)oint of the co((unicator0
1D
Think of ,ourself as their ad1ocate and ,our )ur)ose is to hel)
e1er,one understand 4hat the s)eaker is tr,ing to co((unicate0
!7al2ati*g #))raising the (essage0 Ta) into the filing cabinet of
,our little gra, bo2 on con1enientl, (ounted on the to) of ,our
bod,0 Lirst sort and classif, 4hat ,ou&re hearing0 What are the
i()lications3 the a))lications3 benefit or da(age of the
infor(ationM
ou 4ill ha1e )lent, of ti(e to dra4 a conclusion0 ou 4ill onl,
ha1e a fe4 seconds to 5uickl, (ake a fool of ,ourself ho4e1er0
8o )ut )re6udices aside0 8tifle an, desire to res)ond e(otionall,0
The clichN3 Iconsider the sourceI is not onl, outdated3 it could be
costl, ad1ise to follo40 I ha1e 4orked 4ith nu(erous nurses aids
4ho for 4hat e1er reason choose not to )rogress be,ond their
station in the health care field0 8o(e ha1e de1elo)ed their
kno4ledge and assess(ent skills be,ond that of (an, nurses0 Lor
(e )ersonall,3 4hen the, bring a bit of infor(ation to (e I take
heed0
I cannot tell ho4 (an, ti(es li1es ha1e been sa1ed because of
listening to their in)ut0
Lor future )ublic s)eaking 6obs3 it is 1ital ,ou not onl, learn
about ,our audience3 ,ou need to )ractice the art of listening on
the(0 Lind out 4hat floats their boats0 Lind out ho4 best to
reach the(0
Respo*/i*g #cting on the (essage0
ou 4ill benefit little if ,ou do not act on the direction or ad1ice0
# si()le credo in this regard3 there are three things a true
)rofessional does not do 4hen being gi1en counsel or
ad1ice0Kustif,3 (ini(i?e or shift the bla(e0
Reasonableness in the art of listening dictates that there is
al4a,s (ore to learn on a sub6ect0
1B
If ,our )ublic s)eaking is reasonable3 it 4ill be eas, for the
audience to be reasonable in listening to ,ou0
$e*efit to &o2
Barital )roble(s3 fa(il, )roble(s and e()lo,eeG(anage(ent
relationshi)s )roble(s often are the result of break do4n in
co((unication0
Not onl, 4ill i()ro1ed co((unication hel) ,our relationshi)s3 it
4ill hel) ,our botto( line0 What is the foundation of the
infor(ation ageM Is it not co((unicating infor(ationM
I()ro1e(ent in listening to the 4ants and needs of custo(ers
4ill increase the abilit, to (eet and satisf, those needs0
Bore i()ortantl, ho4e1er3 it 4ill enrich ,our life0 9o4 (an,
)roble(s could be sol1ed if 4e )racticed good co((unicationM
The #rt of *istening is an essential )art of 8)eech(aster, and
of great co((unication0
1E
+rief
"i7e Stages of Grief
$0 %enial and Isolation0
#t first3 4e tend to den, the loss has taken )lace3 and (a,
4ithdra4 fro( our usual social contacts0 This stage (a, last
a fe4 (o(ents3 or longer0
'0 #nger0
The grie1ing )erson (a, then be furious at the )erson 4ho
inflicted the hurt <e1en if sheIs dead=3 or at the 4orld3 for
letting it ha))en0 9e (a, be angr, 4ith hi(self for letting
the e1ent take )lace3 e1en if3 realisticall,3 nothing could
ha1e sto))ed it0
.0 -argaining0
No4 the grie1ing )erson (a, (ake bargains 4ith +od3
asking3 JIf I do this3 4ill ,ou take a4a, the lossMJ
40 %e)ression0
The )erson feels nu(b3 although anger and sadness (a,
re(ain underneath0
50 #cce)tance0
This is 4hen the anger3 sadness and (ourning ha1e ta)ered
off0 The )erson si()l, acce)ts the realit, of the loss0
Grief %*/ Stress
%uring grief3 it is co((on to ha1e (an, conflicting feelings0
8orro43 anger3 loneliness3 sadness3 sha(e3 an2iet,3 and guilt often
18
acco()an, serious losses0 9a1ing so (an, strong feelings can be
1er, stressful0
et den,ing the feelings3 and failing to 4ork through the fi1e
stages of grief3 is harder on the bod, and (ind than going
through the(0 When )eo)le suggest Jlooking on the bright side3J
or other 4a,s of cutting off difficult feelings3 the grie1ing
)erson (a, feel )ressured to hide or den, these e(otions0 Then
it 4ill take longer for healing to take )lace0
Re4o7eri*g "ro. Grief
+rie1ing and its stresses )ass (ore 5uickl,3 4ith good selfGcare
habits0 It hel)s to ha1e a close circle of fa(il, or friends0 It also
hel)s to eat a balanced diet3 drink enough nonGalcoholic fluids3 get
e2ercise and rest0
Bost )eo)le are un)re)ared for grief3 since so often3 traged,
strikes suddenl,3 4ithout 4arning0 If good selfGcare habits are
al4a,s )racticed3 it hel)s the )erson to deal 4ith the )ain and
shock of loss until acce)tance is reached0
Lriends3 relati1es3 and neighbors are usuall, su))orti1e at the
ti(e of a death and during the 4ake and funeral that follo4s0
Lood3 flo4ers3 and )h,sical )resence are a(ong the thoughtful
e2)ressions0 -ut after the funeral3 (an, grie1ing )eo)le 4onder
4here their friends are0 In so(e 4a,s the, need su))ort and
caring fro( their friends e1en (ore 4hen the realit, hits and the
long )rocess of grief begins0 Wa,s of hel)ing grie1ing )eo)le are
as li(itless as ,our i(agination0 8o(e suggestions areF
Tr, to understand the grief )rocess rather than be anno,ed
b, it0
19
JII( sorr,J or JI careJ is all that is necessar, to sa,A a
s5uee?e of the hand3 a hug3 a kiss can sa, the 4ords0
%onIt sa,F Jou 4ill get o1er it in ti(e0J The, 4ill ne1er sto)
(issing the )erson 4ho died0 Ti(e (a, soften the hurt3 but
it 4ill not 6ust go a4a,0 There 4ill al4a,s be a scar0
*isten3 listen3 and listen0 Talking about the )ain slo4l,
lessens its sting0 Bost berea1ed )ersons need to talk0 It is
hel)ful for so(eone to listen0 Tr, to beco(e an effecti1e
listener0
%onIt tell )eo)leF JItIs +odIs 4ill0J E2)lanations do not
console0
Encourage e2)ressions of s)ecific feelingsF anger3 guilt3
frustration3 confusion3 de)ression3 hate0
-e )atient0 Bourning takes ti(e0 Peo)le need ,ou0 8tand b,
the( for as long as )ossible0 There is no ti(etable for grief0
%o not gi1e a )e) talk or suggest a ti(etable0
Talk about the good (e(ories0 The, hel) the healing
)rocess0
8uggest that grie1ing )eo)le take )art in su))ort grou)s0
8haring si(ilar e2)eriences hel)s healing0
2A
Pra,er
Prayers for t0e Si41

Is yo2r 0eart 0ea7y o7er a si41 frie*/ or fa.ily .e.+er? Do yo2 5is0 t0ere
5ere so.et0i*g yo2 4o2l/ /o to 0elp? &o2 4a* ta1e yo2r frie*/ or fa.ily
.e.+er to t0e Lor/ i* prayer) Here is a $i+le 7erse a*/ a prayer to 0elp yo2
as1 Go/ for 0eali*g)
J#nd the )ra,er offered in faith 4ill (ake the sick )erson 4ellA the *ord 4ill raise
hi( u)0 If he has sinned3 he 4ill be forgi1en0 Therefore confess ,our sins to each
other and )ra, for each other so that ,ou (a, be healed0 The )ra,er of a righteous
(an is )o4erful and effecti1e0J
Ka(es 5F$5G$/ <NIV=
D#nd their )ra,er offered in faith 4ill heal the sick3 and the *ord 4ill (ake the(
4ell0 #nd an,one 4ho has co((itted sins 4ill be forgi1en0 Confess ,our sins to each
other and )ra, for each other so that ,ou (a, be healed0 The earnest )ra,er of a
righteous )erson has great )o4er and 4onderful results0E
Ka(es 5F$5G$/ <N*T=
%ear *ord3
ou kno4 (, friendCfa(il, (e(ber so (uch better than I do0 ou kno4 hisCher
sickness and the burden he carries0 ou also kno4 his heart0 *ord3 I ask ,ou to be
4ith (, friend no43 4orking in his life0 *et ,our 4ill be done in (, friendIs life0 If
there is a sin that needs to be confessed and forgi1en3 *ord3 )lease hel) hi( to see
his need and confess0 *ord3 I )ra, for (, friend because ,our Word sa,s I should
)ra, for his healing0 I belie1e ,ou hear this earnest )ra,er fro( (, heart and that
it is )o4erful because of ,our )ro(ise0 I ha1e faith in ,ou to heal (, friend3 but I
also trust in the )lan ,ou ha1e for his life0 *ord3 I donIt al4a,s understand ,our
4a,s3 and 4h, (, friend has to suffer3 but I trust yo20 I ask that ,ou look 4ith
(erc, and grace to4ard (, friend0 Nourish his s)irit and soul in this ti(e of
21
suffering and co(fort hi( 4ith ,our )resence0 *et (, friend kno4 ,ou are there
4ith hi( through this difficult,0 #nd (a, ,ou be glorified in his life and also in
(ine0
#(en
Tend ,our sick ones3 ! *ord Christ0
Rest ,our 4ear, ones0
-less ,our d,ing ones0
8oothe ,our suffering ones0
Pit, ,our afflicted ones0
8hield ,our 6o,ous ones0
#nd for all ,our lo1eIs sake0 #(en0
8aint #ugustine
Prayer i* Ti.e of Si41*ess or Trial
! good Kesus3 I acce)t 4illingl, this sickness Oor trialP 4hich it
has )leased ,ou to la, u)on (e0 I confide all (, )ains to ,our
8acred 9eart3 and beg ,ou to unite the( 4ith ,our bitter
sufferings3 and thus )erfect the( b, (aking the( ,our o4n0
8ince I cannot render ,ou the )raise due to ,ou because of the
(ultitude of (, sorro4s and afflictions3 I ask ,ou to )raise +od
the Lather for all I suffer3 4ith the sa(e tribute of )raise ,ou
offered hi( 4hen ,our agon, on the Cross 4as at its height0
#s ,ou thanked hi( 4ith all the )o4ers of ,our soul for all the
sufferings and in6ustice 4hich he 4illed ,ou should endure3 so3 I
)ra, ,ou3 gi1e hi( thanks for (, trials also0 !ffer (, sufferings3
)h,sical and s)iritual3 to hi( together 4ith ,our (ost hol, )ains
to his eternal honor and glor,0 #(en0
Psal. for t0e Si41
22
! *ord3 in ,our anger )unish (e notA in ,our 4rath chastise (e
not0 Lor ,our arro4s ha1e sunk dee) in (eA ,our hand has co(e
do4n u)on (e0 There is no health in (, flesh because of ,our
indignationA there is no 4holeness in (, bones because of (, sin0
Lor (, ini5uities ha1e o1er4hel(ed (eA the, are like a hea1,
burden3 be,ond (, strength0 Noiso(e and festering are (,
sores3 because of (, foll,0 I a( stoo)ed and bo4ed do4n
)rofoundl,A all the da, I go in (ourning0 Lor (, loins are filled
4ith burning )ainsA there is no health in (, flesh0 I a( nu(bed
and se1erel, crushedA I roar 4ith anguish of heart0 ! *ord3 all (,
desire is before ,ouA fro( ,ou (, groaning is not hid0 B, heart
throbs3 (, strength forsakes (eA the 1er, light of (, e,es has
failed (e0 Lor I a( 1er, near to fallingA and (, grief is 4ith (e
al4a,s0 Indeed3 I ackno4ledge (, guiltA I grie1e o1er (, sins0
Lorsake (e not3 ! *ord3A (, +od be not far fro( (e; Bake haste
to hel) (e3 ! *ord3 (, sal1ation0 *et (e kno43 ! *ord3 (, end
and 4hat is the nu(ber of (, da,s3 that I (a, learn ho4 frail I
a(0 # short s)an ,ou ha1e (ade (, da,s3 and (, life is as nought
before ,ouA onl, a breath is an, hu(an e2istence0 9ear (,
)ra,er3 ! *ord3 to (, cr, gi1e earA to (, 4ee)ing be not deaf;
Lor I a( but a 4a,farer before ,ou3 a )ilgri( like all (, fathers0
Turn ,ou ga?e fro( (e that I (a, find res)ite3 ere I de)art and
be no (ore0
Taken fro( Psal(s .> and .8
2-
RE8PECT !T9ER8 -E*IEL8
#l4a,s think before s)eaking0 9o4 often ha1e 4e hurt others b,
the careless 4ords 4e saidM When talking to so(eone 4ho
ob1iousl, doesn&t share ,our )oint of 1ie43 be 1er, careful in
res)onding to hi(0 -e )olite in ,our con1ersation and (aintain
e,e contact0
Refrain fro( critici?ing other )eo)le&s beliefs different fro(
,ours0 The fastest 4a, to lose a friend is to critici?e 4hat he
thinks is right or hold dear in his heart0 This is also a sure 4a,
to gain ene(ies0 When ,ou tell so(eone that his religion is 4rong
or his idea about ho4 to succeed is du(b3 don&t e2)ect the
)erson to seek ,our co()an,0 -uild bridges instead of 4alls b,
genuinel, a))reciating the good that ,ou see in others and
sho4ing res)ect to his ideas no (atter ho4 different his beliefs
are fro( ,ours0
%on&t )ush ,our beliefs0 8ure3 ,ou can tr, to con1ince others
4hat ,ou think and belie1e in a )articular area0 -ut don&t e2)ect
the( to be ,our follo4er0 8ho4 res)ect b, letting the( decide
on their o4n0 ou 4ill be res)ected back and (ore likel, the, 4ill
reconsider 4hat ,ou shared to the(0
"nderstand that e1er,one ,ou (eet is uni5ue0 Indi1iduals of the
sa(e culture don&t al4a,s share the sa(e )oint of 1ie4 and
beliefs0 9o4 (uch (ore those 4ho hail fro( other cultures 4ith
different background3 1alues3 e2)eriences3 nor(s3 en1iron(ent3
tradition3 religion3 etc0M Bi2 the( together and 4hat ,ou ha1e is
a 4eb of co()licated )ersonalities 4ho 4anted to let their
beliefs be kno4n and heard; 8ho4 res)ect to 4hat others think
b, res)ecting 4ho the, are and 4here the, ca(e fro(0
25
*isten to 4hat other )eo)le ha1e to sa, e1en if ,ou don&t agree0
The best 4a, to sho4 res)ect to other&s belief is to listen to
4hat the, share0 ou 4ill be sur)rised 4hat ne4 things ,ou&ll
learn fro( the(0 *ike4ise3 ,ou 4ill not onl, get better in ,our
listening skills3 ,ou 4ill also gain their trust and res)ect;
Educate ,ourself0 -esides sacred te2ts3 there are a (,riad of
books and (o1ies a1ailable that del1e into other religions0 *earn
about the (a6or 4orld religions3 their belief s,ste(s and 1alues3
and also learn about lesser kno4n religions0 Notice the
differences3 but )a, closer attention to the si(ilarities3 (ost
religions 4ill ha1e si(ilar co((on the(es0
E2)lore other religions0 #sk ,our friends of other faiths if ,ou
can attend a 4orshi) ser1ice 4ith the(3 or go to a different
church3 (os5ue3 or s,nagogue0 ItIs a great 4a, to reach out to a
larger )art of ,our co((unit,0
Baintain an attitude of res)ect0 *ook for si(ilarities not
differences0 8et aside the notion that ,our religion is JrightJ
and other religions are auto(aticall, J4rongJ e1en if it is a
tene(ent of ,our faith0 This (eans sus)ending 6udg(ent and
being di)lo(atic to sho4 res)ect for )eo)le of other religions0
Treat the )eo)le ,ou encounter as ,ou 4ould 4ant to be treated
if so(eone of another faith 4as attending a ser1ice at ,our
church0
+reetings;
#s the ne4 1olunteer coordinator I )ra, this handbook is a hel)
to ,ou in ,our ne4 co((it(ent to Pastoral Care0 Re(e(ber to
2D
al4a,s lea1e ,our agenda at the door3 it is about the care of the
)atient0 %on&t be offended if a )atient doesn&t 4ant a 1isit3 that is
their right0 E1er, )atient (a, not belie1e the 4a, ,ou do3 this is
N!T the )lace to get into Theological debates or argu(ents3 I
cannot stress that enough0 Patients are here to get 4ell and rest3
N!T get stressed out b, o1er ?ealous )eo)le0 8(ile and be 4ar(
and genuine0 If ,ou are ha1ing a bad da,Q8T# 9!BE0
I a( here e1er, Lrida, and (, cell )hone nu(ber is /@:G.4/G
8.4.3 call (e an,ti(e ,ou need hel) or a 5uestion ans4ered0 9ere
is (, bio so ,ou can get to kno4 (e a little bit0
Elder Bark 90 8te1ens 4as a B8gt in the "8#L0 9e s)ent '.
,ears in Co(bat !)erations0 9e s)ent o1er a (onth in Bogadishu
8o(alia 4here he faced death and sa4 death in a life changing
4a,0 Bark 8te1ens 4as also stationed at %o1er #L-3 %e03 4hen
the near thousand bodies ca(e in fro( +u,ana after the Ki(
Kones (assacre0 9e recei1ed a Co((endation Bedal for hel)ing
(o1e hundreds of bodies0 9e ser1ed in %esert 8tor( in
%i,arbiker Turke, for 5 (onths and ser1ed as interi( Cha)lain at
a location 4here there 4as no (ilitar, Cha)lain assigned0 9e is
(arried to 8te)hanie 8te1ens a foreign (issionar,0
Bark 8te1ens is an ordained Binister in the Church of +od in
Christ0 9e has a -# in Theolog, and an B# in Binistr, fro(
Lreedo( -ible College and 8e(inar,0 9e also graduated fro(
Philadel)hia -iblical "ni1ersities Institute of Ke4ish 8tudiesA he
also is an ET# certified teacher0 9e is 4orking to4ard his
certification as a Ps,chiatric Rehabilitation Counselor0 9e is the
%ean of the Charles 9arrison Bason -ible Institutes of NK0 Elder
8te1ens is a staff Cha)lain at #ncora Ps,chiatric 9os)ital in
2B
8outhern Ne4 Kerse,0 9e has 4 "nits of CPE Training and is
4orking to4ards beco(ing #CPE Certified Cha)lain0
Elder 8te1ens has had to hel) (an, )eo)le co)e 4ith the loss of
lo1ed ones3 di1orce3 and illness0 9e deals 4ith his o4n challenge of
li1ing 4ith the )ainful chronic diseases 8arcoidosis and
*,()hade(a 4hich he has had since returning fro( %esert
8tor(0
In s)ite of his o4n )ain he 4orks tirelessl, hel)ing others that
are in )ain )h,sicall, and e(otionall,0
2E