MY BOOK OF MEMORIES !

THE WORKBOOK
Workbook overview
If you have ever dreamt of writing your life story and have stopped full of fear and doubt or unsure of what you want to write about this short workbook is full of exercises to help you to uncover memories and get you writing. When you have completed the exercises then you can consider what next. This memory book will be a project you can look back on to see where you came from and where you thought you were going. Your book of memories will consist of ten chapters, each exploring an aspect of you and your story.

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The chapters
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Who am I? My family and other strange animals Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Epilogue: Earliest memories School days My neighbour hood Falling in and out of love If only Sex, drugs and rock and roll Holidays and high days Highs and lows The good bad and ugly of all of the rest Changing points Things that changed your life forever "The greatest lesson I learnt was. Holidays, days that stick in your mind My first love, crushes, un requited love, marriage, divorce, affairs Things I regret, things I wish I had done, missed opportunities The things that maybe we dont want to confess to Who are you, where do you live, what are your dreams, what goals do you have, photos, videos Who is in your family, what is their story, who is in your families family, siblings, parents, ancestors, who has helped you to become who you are? Births, growing up, things I did, places I went, what I heard and saw Memories of school, college and university, teachers, friends, things that you did This is my town, people, places, events, houses

Before we begin
Tools
Having the right tools and resources makes it easier to get started and stay on track. Your writers rucksack contains a set of useful ways of working, gadgets and devices that will enable you to make your writing life easier.

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Journal Journaling is in my opinion the foundation of all writing. Think of it as a place to store your raw materials, your ideas, thoughts, processes, reflections on your book and random musings. Just let your memories come to you, and notice what you notice. Let your unconscious mind work. Keep it all, even if it seems disjointed and doesnt flow, even if you feel embarrassed when you read it back. Keep it; it will be useful and insightful. Notebook Keep a little notebook in your bag/briefcase or upon your person somewhere, as you go about your day-to-day activities and as you spot something, just make a few notes, you can refer back to your notebook when you come to write in your journal. Eyes, ears and mouth Notice whats going on around you, ask questions and listen to everything. Get other peoples perspectives of the same story. Computer and printer I am a techno geek, I love technology as an enabler and I want software and systems which makes my life easier. Make a list of what you need and get yourself the best equipment that your budget allows. A desktop computer is great, but how will you take that to different locations to write? For me a notebook computer is a must every time. Video or voice recording With the advent of digital cameras and digital camcorders there is lots of opportunity to be able capture those moments to video. This adds an extra dimension to your journaling and writing. Video along with a Dictaphone or the recorder on your mobile phone is a great way to collect random thoughts and ideas. In each listening you learn something new. Voice translation

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Dragon NaturallySpeaking or Dragon Dictate on a Mac allows you to talk to your computer. Dragon will interpret what you say and type as you speak. I love this software, though be aware it may record some odd words. You can talk faster than you can type and for the dedicated talker you could get over 20,000 words done in a weekend. Which is great for those of you who do want to take your stories and turn them into a book. Get a coach It's easy to give up. When we are alone, we listen to our negative thoughts more than our positive thoughts. It's not always easy to be our own coach. A good coach will keep you motivated and moving.

When you are stuck or resistant, fed up, procrastinating, your coach is by your side or at the end of the phone or email. He or she has the experience and knowledge to know what needs to be done to help you to reach your outcomes. They will hold you accountable, keep you on track, challenge you, have fun with you, share resources and a whole host of other things and you would be mad to pay for someones time and not maximise it. If your journaling, stories or book raises personal issues and upsets, discuss this with your coach who may be suitably trained to help you. If not they can advise where to go to get professional help for the area that you are struggling with.

Your memory box

What you will need:
1 big lever arch binder 1 set of A4 dividers Clear plastic hole!punched A4 pockets poly pockets A large box to collect your stuff in Journal and notepad

Your timeline

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The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes. Marcel Proust Stuffed away in the time capsule of your mind are millions of memories. They are locked away in folders with little tags on that say been there done that, no longer interesting. It is only when you pull out the folders and scatter the papers on the floor can you see connections. Scribbled on the sepia tinted parchments of time are your stories. As you put these into categories and re-file them away in different order a new map of your life will emerge. Timelines provide a visual roadmap, which give you the big picture in the form of a map. Clarity will come because the human mind sees things in patterns. When you see patterns you make connections. No matter where you are, discovery through timelines are a vital part of discovering connections and patterns about your life and enabling you to see where the stories are and how they connect. Discovery is about going deeper and resurfacing more about your life. Regardless of career path or life roles, you will have learnt and experienced an enormous amount and very often these are things that you take for granted.

Timelines are a useful way to discover locked away thoughts, memories, skills, talents, experiences. Their value comes from observing and reflecting on what has been captured on the paper, your visual storyboard. When you stand back and observe your life you gain a lot of clarity. You also need to be prepared to keep walking away to reflect, coming back and trying to see what is missing or what needs moving around. You are looking for patterns, connections and themes.

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Start brainstorming Get a large sheet of paper and with a set of post it notes or coloured pens / pencils and put your date of birth at one end and todays date at another. Next divide the paper up into decades (across the top - horizontally). Along the side put in your themes this will naturally depend on you and what you want to write about. E.g. Career, relationships, journeys, health. Start brainstorming, just do it randomly as a thought comes to mind put it down. When you have brainstormed, reflect and start moving your thoughts around. Look for connections, themes and AHA moments. Once you can see the connections, you will be able to see where your memoir themes are. Record your findings in your journal

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Chapter 1
A little bit about you
Who are you? What is your story? Why are you writing your memoir? What is the most important thing you want to discover? What are the life experiences that make you who you are? If you were to view your life from an outsider's point of view, what would you know about your life? Like all exercises, it is best not to think, but to just write.

I AM
How many I am words or statements can you write? You are NOT allowed to use NOT. I am kind, caring, intelligent, fun etc When you have written them down, try Wordle (www.wordle.net). Copy the words in and play around, print out and turn into a picture. Then frame your drawing and put it up where you can see it every day. Looking at your framed artwork, what does it tell you about who you think you are? Write a character sketch of that person as if it were a stranger. When you write memoir, you need to bring your characters alive and let your reader really see inside of them and feel their personality and understand what makes them tick.

Photos
Photos are an incredibly powerful way to kick-start your memory. Photos are treasures, moments of your life captured, milestones, birthdays, happy, sad, people long gone, parties you enjoyed, trips, holidays, houses, beaches, there is so much to be captured from your

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photos and it is not just the picture, it is everything around the photo and as such a brilliant way to help you to piece together your life. The photo journey Pick a photo, any photo and ask yourself these questions:What were you wearing? Who were you with? Where were you? How old were you? What happened that day? What happened the day before / day after? What sounds, smells, and emotions does this bring up? What else does this memory conjure up? Describe the place where the photograph was taken. Describe the other people in the photograph and their relation to you. What happened right before this photograph was taken? After? What surprises you about this picture, now that you really look at it? Who is missing from this picture? Why? What cant we see in the picture? If that person in the picture could talk, what would he or she be saying?

Visualise meeting you from a photograph Get a recent photograph of yourself. Place the photograph in front of you now answer these questions. Looking at that person:What do you see? What are you wearing? What colours do you have on? What is the style of your clothing, are you dressed for business or leisure? What is your hairstyle like, your facial expression? Who else is in the picture with you? Now imagine that you have never met yourself, write a few paragraphs about the person in the picture. Who do you think they are? 8 www.jacquimalpass.com - 2013

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Paint a picture
It is quite fascinating about how we perceive ourselves not only through our thoughts and words but through pictures we take or draw.

You may not feel like an artist and a stick man or woman will do. Get your pencils or crayons out and start drawing yourself. The drawing can be a combination of colours, words and pictures cut of out magazines. You can choose some words to describe yourself and make a piece of art around that.

Questions to ask the family

Where and when was I born? What was your pregnancy like? What was the birth like? How did you feel when you saw and held me for the first time? What were your expectations for my life? Were there any foods I hated or loved? Who did I play with? What was my favourite toy? What was my first word? How did I react when my brothers or sisters were born? How did they react to me? How old was I when I took my first steps? Who was the first best friend I bought home? Who was my first boyfriend? What did you think of him? What did I say I wanted to be when I grew up?

The day you were born sketch

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Despite the fact that you werent aware of the day you were born, write one side of A4 about what it was like for your mother to give birth to you. Or write about another person who was at the birth. What did they see, feel, smell, touch etc.

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Chapter 2
My family and other strange animals
About mum, dad and other family members Where were they born? Any complications? Who was there? What is their first memory? What chores did you have to do as a child? Did you get an pocket money / allowance? How much was it? Did you save the money or spend it? Did you share a room or a bed? What pets did you have? What were your favourite meals? Who was the cook in your family? What was your proudest moment as a kid? What was your most embarrassing moment? Did you go to school? If not, how did you learn? What was your school like? Did you like school? What were your best subjects? Did you have a favourite teacher? How did that person affect you? What did you want to be when you grew up? How did you get to and from school? Who were your best friends growing up? How did you celebrate holidays? What did you do in the summer? What hobbies did you enjoy? Where have you travelled? Where would you like to visit? Is there something youd like to learn to do? What world events affected you most during your life? How did you meet each other? What did you think? Where did you go on your first date?

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What did you talk about? How long did you date before you got married? Compare the questions about your parents life and yours, what can you learn from that?

Your family tree

Draw your family tree and start to piece together their lives and journey, considering how what similarities and differences there may be.

Family exercise
Pull the questions together and interview willing family members pretending that you are a reporter for the local paper. Write up a review of that family member, in any way that fires you up, it could be humorous, sad, eventful, linked to a famous event, you are only limited by your imagination.

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Chapter 3
Earliest memories
The world on the day that you were born Google your date of birth and see what was happening on the day you were born. When was the first birthday party for you that you can remember? Describe the day from waking up to going to bed. What did you wear? Who came? What presents did you get? What games did you play? Who was your first best friend? How did you meet? What games did you play? What was your first holiday? Where did you go? What was the best thing about that holiday? What was the worst thing? Who came with you? How did you get there? What is the first big world event that you can remember? How did it make you feel? What else was going on in your life? What was the first film that you saw? Who did you go to the cinema with? How did the film make you feel?

Early memories exercise Choose one of your earliest memories. Write a quick sketch of the event, describing everything you can remember, including who was with you, what happened, your feelings, include sensory details, such as sounds, feelings, smells, tastes etc.. Fill in the blanks from your imagination about what you dont know. Now create a list of how you might find out, who you can ask and where you might look. Gather together photos and any other materials that would be useful.

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Ask yourself why do you remember this event and what impact might it have had on the rest of your life? Imagine you are now going to write your life story, why would you include this memory and what memory would go next?

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Chapter 4
School days
What happened on the first day you went to school? Did you want to go? Who took you? What was your teacher like? Who was your first friend and who was your best friend. Repeat this for each school you went to. Who was your first school friend? Do you remember his or her name? Write about how you met him/her and describe them. What attracted you to your friend? Have you stayed in contact with that friend over the years? Write about what that friendship meant to you then and now. Do you have any regrets related to that friendship? Write a letter to one of your best friends, reminiscing about the old days. In the playground. Bring to memory the games you played, who was in the games, what was your favourite game? Write a short scene about one of your games. What was the worst day in school, college, university? What was your most embarrassing moment? What was the best day? Who was your favourite teacher.

Make a list School Best day Worst day Best friend Most hated subject Favourite subject Favourite teacher or lecturer College University

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First day Last day Freewrite for ten minutes about any of these memories, then write the memory as a scene. Include your surroundings, who was there with you, what happened, what you thought and felt, and any sensory details you remember (smells, sights, sounds, and touch).

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Chapter 5
My neighbourhood
How has where you live shaped your life?

My neighbourhood map
Maps are great ways to remember things. You need a very large piece of paper or card. Using a pencil start to map out where you live. Then add in pictures, photos, newspaper clippings, your own drawings and anything which captures your imagination and memory of where you live. All of these can be from any time period, you are building up a memory board. When you have finished pick a start point and an end point and write a short story about the journey from start to finish.

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Chapter 6
Falling in and out of love
We dont only fall in and out of love with boyfriends and girlfriends, we do the same for all kinds of people and things. Who are those people who have had the most impact on us through love? How you like to show your love to others, what kinds of things others do that make you feel loved, and how you know when someone cares about you. What does it mean to love yourself as you are? How does loving and accepting yourself affect your ability to love and accept others? Who do you now love that you once hated and vice versa? What memories do you have of those turning points? This person I have loved exercise Bring to mind someone that you have loved or are in love with, we want to get to know them better and understand why you love them. Having never met them, we do not know what to expect. Make a list of their qualities. Tall or short Hairy, or bald Funny or miserable Best clothes or worst outfit Idiosyncrasies they have that make you love them more Now I want you to describe them using actions. I want you to move from tell to show. E.g. dad was kind It was Saturday night and I was skint again. Dad seeing my forlorn expression, told me not to tell mum and slipped me 20 and told me to get out and have a good time. He smiled that knowing smile, towering over me he gave me a kiss and sent me on my way. 18 www.jacquimalpass.com - 2013

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Your task is to paint a picture for us, physically but also of their heart and soul. Why do you love him/her? Feelings are made of this Make a list of people that you are or have been in love with, what your relationship is/was, what feelings and emotions come up for you and what memories those feelings stir up. Person Relationship Feelings Memory

Family love Family is one of the first places we learn about love. Food is often associated with love, shared meal times, cooking together or eating out for family celebrations. Think of a time in your family in which you experienced love through food and celebration. Share that memory bringing in all of your senses, especially your visual and taste buds.

Chapter 7
If only
One of the most difficult things for many people to do is to look back and take stock of all those things they could, should or would have done differently. Regret is pointless, this is all in the past, however as a memoir exercise it is a good way to look at how our journey has progressed and how these may have been turning points. What are those turning points? Looking back are you actually glad you didnt.? Could of, should of, would have What do you wish you had done differently. Write about a missed opportunity, an idea of yours that never came to fruition, or one that did but maybe for someone else. Short story time Pick a time that your life took a significant turn and write 500-1000 words on what happened rather than how it happened. Then write about how it happened. 19 www.jacquimalpass.com - 2013

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Chapter 8
Sex, drugs and rock and roll
You may be writing your memoir so that future generations will be able to delight in your life and times. However, not all stories are tea and sandwiches on the lawn, some have been abusive, deadly and filled with fear. Others angry, violent, the victim turned renegade. Exploring the dark stuff can be emotional and cathartic and it could also the ingredients that makes your memoir into a page turning feast. These are sometimes the harder things to write about and often the things that we really want to get out there. We are fearful of being judged. It is however, important to remember that who you were is not who you are and these are just stories that form part of your journey and go to make you who you ware. Also these may be the areas of conflict and emotion in your memoir and are where your turning points are. You do not have to disclose everything, but they are significant signposts never the less.

Tips
Meditate and get into a great state before you write. If it hurts, stop, leave reflect and find another way to write it. Write as if it happened to someone else, i.e. in the third person using he, she or it. Write a creative life story instead and meld your story with some fiction. Tell it as if it had turned out a different way, then re write is as it was. Write it as a letter, to the person, event or thing. Write back their response. This is about perspective and gaining understanding. Write the event as a factual list, without emotion or opinion. Think of times of crisis in your life. What problems, uncertainty or doubt led to a memorable event? Choose the key moment of this particular moment of crisis and write about it. Why were those difficult times?

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Remember writing helps you to clarify what you are thinking and going / have gone through and it is very cathartic. Reducing your writing to just a few words can be helpful and when you come to write your memoir, these hard times can be reduced to just a fraction which leaves the reader to fill in the blanks. Six word memoir Take your piece of difficult times writing and find just six words and create a six word memoir. e.g. Drunk man, cold house, no money

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Chapter 9
Highs and lows
Ups and downs, highs and lows, good times and bad times, its all part of life. Life is about contrast and everyone has highs and lows. Memoirs take us on a journey up to a crisis or a conflict and onto a resolution. It is about comparing and contrasting the situations that you find yourself in. Its called experience. An example may be of being depressed, which is a debilitating time for many. Its a big low, followed by a turning point and a journey back to lifes highs and more happier times. If someone were to ask you what your most important life lessons have been, what would you say? And why? What was the high point and what was the low point? Holidays and high days After the storm usually comes light and the high days are those where the crisis or conflict is over or at least calmed down and your life is picking up the pace again. Happiness memory Contentment or happiness? Those moments when you experience a moment of perfection. Your heart swells, your stomach flutters, you smile and know this is what makes life good. They say that laughter is the best medicine. Think of a time in which you felt happiness that to think of it now brings a smile to your face. If you could give a memory of extreme happiness to someone who had never experienced a happy thought, how would you describe that happiness memory? Holiday scenes Holidays are usually happy events and as such evoke deep rich memories. The lead up to the event, the journey, the holiday events, packing up and coming home. New sights, sounds, tastes, views and people. Take us on a journey and share your holiday delights with us. I want to feel that I was there, seeing what you saw, eating what you ate, talking to your new friends

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Compare and contrast Pick one of the following and write 500 words using comparing and contrasting as a technique. Two stages of a your life a high and a low Two perspectives on the same place - past and present or morning or night or now and then Two views of your parents - before and after you left home or as a teenager and now Infatuation versus love

Chapter 10
Changing points
At the end of every book or story is the thing that changed or the moral of the story. Challenge, choices, outcome and moral Thinking of your life story, your memoir, what was the challenge that you faced, what choices did you make and what was the outcome? What is the moral of your story? What is the key message you want your reader to leave with? What is the lesson that you learnt? What do you want your reader to know or do as a result of reading your memoir?

Your challenge You want your reader to finish your memoir without having the moral of the story thrown down their throats, you want your story to captivate them right to the very end. The moral is never a long monologue, it is something that the reader can work out for themselves. Write a memoir synopsis starting with a line which is the moral and write your synopsis without telling anyone what that is.

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When you write your memoir you can use this as the basis for the blurb on the back of your book or as the description on Kindle.

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Other courses by Jacqui Malpass
How to write your memoir in 30 days Writing to heal

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