Rhetorical analysis final

I find my self struggling with the assignments in this class. Rhetorical analysis I find is
hard to write. I found myself looking up the meaning a few times and still unsure of how
to express it. Writing in general is difficult for me. Some times I think I get the point
across in just a half of a page. Then its like grabbing at anything just to make the two
page assignment. To be honest I ha!e not had a lot of feedback. If I did I am sure this
would help me become a better writer. I ha!e always struggled with grammar"
punctuation and complete sentences.
In my personal introduction" I tried to reach the audience and make them feel my
emotion. I try and use ethos when I write. I wrote about what it is like going back to
school at my age" how proud I am of my four kids and grandkids. I wanted my audience
to feel the excitement of doing the things I enjoy. #or this assignment I think I did well
for my first paper. When I write I am not focusing on a certain type of audience. I write
with emotion $pathos% and use fact $ethos%. I consider myself a freewriter. I hope in my
writings that e!eryone that reads my papers can feel the emotion I feel and understand
why I write the way that I do.
&y 'olitical (artoon I really enjoyed. )t first glance it grabbed me. It had great meaning
and an important message. I felt a strong emotion and I connected with the artist. I
belie!e I did a well analysis of this cartoon. This artist played off of peoples emotions
and knew what audience she had by referencing a famous state park. I analy*ed the
deli!ery of the message and made my readers understand why this artist used the
illustrations that she did.
+!er all I know I ha!e a lot of areas to work on. I write from personal experiences mostly
and a lot of emotion $pathos%. I hope I get some feed back so I can use the ideas to help
me in my future writings.
Self Intro
Hi everyone,
My name is Pauline Derbidge I am from Salt Lake City born and
raised here. Moved to St George about ! years ago. "#ned a
$om%any $alled the "riginal &ed Dirt Shirt Com%any. 'es the
shirts #ere dyed #ith red dirt. It #as hard #ork but fun. I met a
lot of %eo%le from all over the #orld. I have sin$e moved ba$k to
Salt Lake. Divor$ed after () years of being Married. I de$ided it
#as time to go ba$k to s$hool. It seems most of my $areer has
been in the medi$al *eld and $hange #as in order. + degree in
Criminal ,usti$e is #hat I am seeking. So here I am. I Have - +dult
.ids and soon to be ! grandkids and great grand baby on the
#ay. I love to %lay s%orts volleyball, and softball and I have a
%assion for gardening. I love to sho%. #hat girl doesn/t0 it should
be a s%ort..lol. I love to s%end time #ith my 1amily and friends
and my grandkids. I love to laugh and have fun.M' favorite
teams are the 2ikings and the 1al$ons. I love to #at$h $ollege
s%orts. go 3tah4444 I think they %lay for the love of the game. I
#ould love to travel. I am #ay e5$ited to see #hat is in store for
me in the near future as I take this 6ourney. Good lu$k to all of
you.
Rhetorical Analysis of a text
+s a diabeti$ I am al#ays reading books, maga7ines, ne#s
arti$les on #ays to better yourself and im%rove your health. In
doing so I $ame a$ross a very informative arti$le in 8atural 8e#s
Maga7ine entitled, 9+meri$ans in lo#:in$ome, over#eight and
minority grou%s are more sus$e%tible to 2itamin D, Cal$ium
de*$ien$y;.
Millions of +meri$ans are unable to meet daily intakes of
2itamin D be$ause of so$ioe$onomi$ $onditions. <he arti$le goes
on to tell that ne# resear$h indi$ates that $al$ium is the *fth
most abundant element in the human body $ontributing
signi*$antly to bone mineral density. Skeletal Cal$ium serves as a
reservoir to maintain serum $al$ium levels. =hen $al$ium intake
is insu>$ient and #ithout su%%lement sour$es, $om%ensatory
loss from the bones follo#s, #eakening the skeleton #ith
in$reasing risk of subse?uent fra$ture @%eer:revie#ed 6ournal of
+meri$an College of 8utritionA.
In their study resear$hers set out to determine #hat $al$ium
and 2itamin D intakes #ere among various s%e$i*$ sub
%o%ulations of +meri$ans, in an attem%t to identify those most in
need of forni$ationBenri$hment and su%%lement.
&eading this arti$le my *rst thought #as, 9Is it not true that
sunlight is a good sour$e of 2itamin D;0 +lso, ho# hard is it to go
outside and soak u% some rays0 I #as intrigued to *nish reading
this arti$le. Sin$e I am over *fty and I have a family history of
"steo%orosis, I am $on$erned about my bones. 'ou have heard of
the elderly #ho fall and break a hi% and never re$over. I have
seen this ha%%en and I do not #ant to have the brittle bone
syndrome. In further readings it e5%lains that there are diCerent
ty%es of 2itamin D, s%e$i*$ally the kind that $omes from the food
#e eat. If #e do not get enough vitamins from the food or the sun
a su%%lement is needed to %rovide us #ith there. 2itamin D %lays
a vital roll in our health.
&esear$hers used data gathered from the 8ational health and
nutrition e5amination survey @8H+8DSA. Parti$i%ants gave
%ersonal dietary intake su$h as, age, ra$e, #eight, gender,
household, in$ome level, dietary su%%lement, and vegetarian
status. &esults sho#ed lo# in$ome, over#eightBobese, minority
%o%ulations are at greater risk of $al$ium and 2itamin D
insu>$ien$y. I think it is be$ause lo# in$ome $annot aCord the
%ro%er food that has the 2itamin D and $al$ium in them. I am not
sure of the minority %o%ulation maybe be$ause a large
%er$entage falls into lo# in$ome and the over #eightBobese
$ategory and %erha%s, %oor eating habits. +dults #ho used
su%%lemental $al$ium and 2itamin D sho# lo#er %revalen$e of
insu>$ient levels. 2itamin D aids in the absor%tion of $al$ium. It
%lays an im%ortant role in bone health, es%e$ially in the younger
$hildren three to eight years of age #here your bones are still
develo%ing. In your older years #here your bones are more fragile
from not getting enough $al$ium and 2itamin D, there are a lot of
su%%lements out there to hel% kee% your bones healthy. I kno#
that it is never too late to in$rease the foods that are $al$ium and
2itamin D enri$hed. Go out side get some sunshine and #e #ill
thank ourselves later.
Feedback
Two from classmates
Hi Pauline,
'our analysis $aught my attention #ith the 2itamin D de*$ien$y. I
have al#ays found it hard to get all of the vitamins you need by
food alone. It is de%ressing ho# lo#:in$ome +meri$ans $an/t
deem to get the nutrition they need. 1ast food 6oints make it too
easy to get a $hee% meal #ith little nutritional value. I really
$onne$ted to the arti$le you $hose.
I think you did a great 6ob des$ribing the arti$le, I really got a feel
for #hat it #as about. 'ou #ent over ho# the study #as
$ondu$ted and $onse?uen$es of not $onsuming the right amount
of $al$ium and vitamin D. 'our $ontent #as good and that seems
to be #hat he #as %ushing from the trans$ri%t. I $an/t tell ho#
long your analysis is, but from this vie# it looks a little short00
Might not be. 'ou did great transitioning from %aragra%h to
%aragra%h and had a great summery in your $on$lusion.
Good lu$k on your *nal, your draft #as great.
Great %a%er Pauline4 I didn/t even think of the gong sho#4 =o#,
gives me another %oint of vie# to look at this $artoon #ith4 Great
6ob4 my suggestion #ould be to double $he$k your s%elling and
grammar. EA ... I also believe that this $artoon is very true. I $ould
not believe #hen the national %arks shut do#n4 I ke%t thinking is
this a 6oke0 =hat is going on04 So I $an see your %oint of this
seeming like a 6oke, that referen$ing this to the gong sho#4 +gain
great 6ob44 EA
Two comments I gave to my classmates
I love sho# shark tank Sometimes they go #ith their guts and
not #hat everyone else #ants them to do and sometimes they
$an be so $ruel. <he $artoon really does a great 6ob of ho#
+meri$an %eo%le feel. Maybe not at *rst #hen this #hole health
insuran$e $ame out. Fut no# more than ever the +meri$an
%eo%le are not ha%%y. 'our thoughts on ho# this $artoon #as
#ritten and for #hat reasons are s%ot on. I might add if you don/t
mind the last G or H %aragra%hs go along #ith the beginning of
your statement. I might suggest moving it u% $loser to the to%.
"ver all it #as a great $artoon and ni$ely #ritten.
oh my.. I $an relate to you ho# you are feeling about this $lass. I
am not a #riter. and I *nd if very di>$ult to e5tend my thoughts
and #riting also. +fter about a BI %age it seems like I am
re%eating my self or 6ust rambling on. It seems to me sin$e #e
had to analysis our self/s and our #ritings you have found out
more about you and some areas you need to #ork on #ithout any
of your %eers telling you. So I feel like you have learned a great
deal from this $lass and about you as a #riter."nly advise to you
is take #hat you have learned from all your #ritings %ut them all
together and S<"P %utting oC your assignments till the last
minute. it/s hard.Something I do my self. you $an do it. good
lu$k.