ARE YOU WILLING?

 

This is NOT what I am trying to say-

what we deserve--

I will leave for another post.

One of the most difficult lessons in life is my wrath---my indignation---my fury---my resentment for another---only hurts me.  They are either oblivious to my emotion or more than likely do not care.  All this negativity can eat you alive---from the inside out.  It can absolutely affect your physical health and what a waste of time and energy.  When we allow our differences or the pain we have experienced to rule our heads and hearts over a prolonged period of time, we become bitter.  The book I am currently reading has a character who is a stark reminder of how we allow all of that negativity  toward another  to rule our thoughts when we spend time dwelling on the offense.  

Recently I was watching a movie (I don't even remember which movie) that had a line that stuck with me ~

"Seems to me a whole lot of people are carrying around a heap of pain tied to the past."

WHOA!  When is it time to LET IT GO?  This is really the entire message about this subject---BUT I plan to die at peace with my fellow man.  Peace can only come when we are able to let our negative emotions go.  The first step to doing this is we have to be willing to let it go.  We will never be able to leave the past in the past without our willingness.   My personal experience--once I was able to tell God I was willing, but needed His help---I could not do it without Him---the process became much easier.  I might have to give it to God again---after a stumble back into old feelings---but He is faithful---He will show us how to forgive---and eventually forget.  He is the ultimate example of how it is done.

"Bear with each other and forgive one another

if any of you has a grievance against someone.

Forgive as the Lord forgave you."

Colossians 3:13

PLANNING FOR THE FUTURE

 Today's post was inspired by a sweet reader who left a comment a couple of weeks ago.  She told a story about her early years and the bad advice a trusted source gave her on what type of job she should pursue.  Her comment was she did not wish the source any ill will and was never rude to him (even when he might have deserved a good tongue lashing), but instead moved on and lived her life.

I have had a note in my possible blog topic page from a recent sermon I have been mulling over.  The note-

FOCUSING ON THE PAST OR PLANNING FOR THE FUTURE

 Both of these are a definite sign this needs writing about.

I have personal experience with learning the difficult lesson on leaving those negative occurrences behind.  When we become stuck in the ills of the past---we are going to sink deeper and deeper in the mire of negativity.  Those life experiences can become the quick sand in time--keeping us stuck in something we cannot change.  The more you stomp around in quick sand--the deeper you sink.  We are not able to plan for the future as long as we are stuck in the past.

SO---what do we do with those life altering negatives?  Consider them a short course in life and learn from them and move on with the gained knowledge from experience.  We can fan the flames of hate and discord or we can choose to walk away from the fire and let the burns heal.  The choice is always ours.  My personal life experience---forgive--and do not harbor the event, but instead the knowledge gained.  That old adage---"I forgive, but I do not forget" does not fly.  As long as you are focused on the negative, it is controlling you and preventing forward motion.  Why would we let another who has hurt us control our lives with the wasted time spent dwelling on the past?  

You never know when I might take one of your comments and run with it.  I am thankful for each and every response.  They always make me think!

"Remember not the former things,

nor consider the things of old.

Behold, I am doing a new thing;"

Isaiah 43:18-19a

TOOL OR BULLDOZER?

 

We all have suffered them--those verbal bombshells meant to put us in our place.  I have had a series of  these surprise attacks, sneak attacks, and out right well placed-well planned--I knew it was coming attacks.  Our words can be perhaps one of the most powerful weapons in our arsenal.  This past week I have been left reeling between hurt and all out--I'm going to get you anger after a few well placed bombshells.  I do not like being placed in this position by another.  We have all been there.  The question becomes when we say "Been There~Done That", what did we do?  Suffer in silence, full our frontal attack, or take the adult road and question the attacker as to the "Why?".  I must admit my first response is never the adult response.  My inner child either runs and hides in pain or mounts a full on verbal counter attack.  NOT how I want to respond.

I recently read a Joyce Meyer quote which brings it all home ~

"Every word we speak can either be a brick to build or a bulldozer to destroy."

There you go--you have a choice you can be a builder or a demolisher.  You are the one in charge of what words you choose or how you use them in response to a verbal attack.  I desire to be known as a builder, but my feet of clay want to drive the bulldozer.  In most cases the bulldozer remains hidden in the shed, until you have hurt me.  My startled response usually includes cranking the bulldozer.  The problem comes when I put it in gear and proceed to tear you down. 

 Lord, please help me to keep the bulldozer in the shed and instead put on the "Tool Belt" you have supplied me with.  Help me to remember those hurtful words directed toward me always come from a crater of pain left in the heart of the attacker.  Give me the patience exemplified by Jesus when confronted with verbal attacks.  Give me the wisdom of a kind response.  Help me, Lord, to be the builder you created us all to be.  

"Bear with each other and forgive one another

if any of you has a grievance against someone.

Forgive as the Lord forgave you."

Colossians 3:13

TO START A NEW YEAR

 

I am not a frequent visitor to Starbucks, but I recently gave myself a gift of dropping by early one morning for a venti Roasted Chestnut Praline Latte.  What's not to love about all of that!  I remember when visiting New York City for my 70th smelling the roasting chestnuts the vendors were selling on the streets every time I have one.  NOW, I am too cheap to make this splurge very often, but it seemed like the perfect Birthday-Christmas gift from me to me.  After all this began my love of a morning latte.  (I make my own at home---MUCH cheaper)

NEWSFLASH---some of the very best gifts are those we give ourselves.  After all no one could possibly know what we would like better than us.  One man's gold is another man's----.  The things I love-you might consider junk.  What you might like ---I might wonder, "What in the world were you thinking?".  Are we not SO thankful God all made us all different--unique.  That is what has made His world such a diverse and interesting place.

There is one gift you can give yourself which is perhaps the very best gift ever.

We ALL have done stupid things, things we regret, things we wish we could change.  At times these things are overtly deliberate and at other times inadvertent and perhaps we are even unaware of our injury to another.  One thing remains true for both of these--we need to confess, repent, forgive and THEN forgive ourselves.  Our unwillingness or seeming inability to forgive ourselves flies in the face of God's grace.  He paid the price, He provides the sacrifice and we need to accept His atonement.  There is NOTHING for which God has forgiven us that we cannot forgive ourselves.  The holding on to personal guilt is harmful not only to our relationship with God, but to our spirit and physical body.  Guilt, shame, regret, and all those negative emotions associated with our unwillingness to leave our offenses behind will become a ball and chain we are dragging behind us.  Friends, forgive yourself--put it behind you---take the words of The Father and place it as far as the east is from the west.

I am praying in the final days of this year we can pray that God will help us to leave the past in the past--covered with the blanket of forgiveness He has provided.  As you forgive others---also forgive yourself.

17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. 18 And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation;

II Corinthians 5:17-18

OUT OF THE BLUE

I get epiphanies about a topic to post on  at the strangest times.  You already know about my middle of the night musing.  Today's post came to me in a flash from out of nowhere, while out walking the Wonder Dog early one morning.  We were across the street looking for rabbit trails, completely alone  and a bolt out of the blue hit me.  NOW, if you believe things pop in our minds out of the blue, we need to talk!

Here's the thing about grace ~ until you reach down and forgive someone who you really do not want to forgive, who really does not deserve to be forgiven, who really sinned against you, who does not really care if you forgive them or not  ~ Who really does not even give you a second thought  ~  You do not really understand about grace.  Let that sink in.  

I will never forget the report about the ten children shot, five of whom died in the Amish one room school house in 2006.  The world was puzzled and taken back when the Amish community extended grace to the family of the shooter.  HOW could you forgive this man?  How could you extend sympathy to his family?  How astonishing was it for this community who were in deep grief themselves, to somehow find the ability to not only forgive the shooter, but extend help to his family?  Read this story HERE for an account years later.  Take particular note of "Decisional Forgiveness" and doing the emotional work after making the conscious decision.  

Until we are able to take the step of obedience and forgive those who have sinned against us, we do not really understand what God has done for us through Jesus.  We just cannot really GET IT until we have stepped up and forgiven those who do not deserve our forgiveness.  It can be a tough pill to swallow, to say the least.  The Amish lived out how we should first decide we will forgive and then allow God to lead us through the process.

Here is one of the truths I have garnered from the subject of forgiveness.  I was the one who really was set free by extending grace--not necessarily the one who sinned against me.  It was a huge boulder removed from my shoulders that I did not even realize how it had weighed me down.  That is all I have to say on the subject---that is enough.  Roll that around in your thoughts today and let me know what you think.

"Forgive anyone who offends you.

Remember the Lord forgave you,

so you must forgive others."

Colossians 3:13

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LET IT GO

 A few blogs ago, I told you the story  HERE of taking Hero walking down the shady path across the road and his discovery of it being a rabbit sanctuary.  Since that eventful day, all Hero has on his mind is chasing rabbits.  He is about to get on my last nerve!

Do not let this face fool you, Hero can be as stubborn as they come.  I would say mule-headed, but I would not want to insult any of the mules out there.

Everyday--every walk all Hero has on his mind is let's find the rabbits.  He will fool me into thinking we are going back to our old paths by taking a stroll down memory lane through the hood.  All paths though lead to the road leading to the rabbit trails.  He does not forget.  This necessitates me scooping him up and carrying the stubborn rabbit obsessed addict.  He CAN NOT stay away from those rabbits.

There is NO fool like an old fool----and Hero is an old fool when it comes to rabbits.  He cannot get it in his head that he does not have a prayer when it comes to catching Mr. Rabbit.  Rabbits are Hero's weakness~ He is addicted to the scent of rabbits.  What would he do if he by some miracle he caught the rabbit?  I really do not want to know---Mother Nature has a way of often turning ugly.

Our leisurely strolls around the Hood and occasional walks on the Greenway have turned into rabbit hunts.  Once Hero catches a slight whiff of a rabbit he is off to the races pulling me down the trail behind him.  We can no longer enjoy the beauty and leisure of walking together.  Every step is consumed with looking and smelling for his mortal enemy----that cute little bunny rabbit. 

Once Hero has the rabbit scent I am forced to pick him up and carry him the rest of the way.  All else is forgotten if Hero knows a rabbit is in the neighborhood.  I have carried him so much the past couple of weeks I am beginning to lean and one side is much more muscular.  Ten pounds is not much until you have carried it a mile or two.  Hero has nothing but rabbits on his mind these days.

Are there any thoughts you are obsessed with?  Something you caught sight of, heard, or a scent of trouble you cannot walk away from?  Do you find yourself dwelling on a past incident which you keep returning to chase it yet again around in the gray matter?  How easily we can get stuck on some perceived or perhaps even real hurt.  Chasing those thoughts around in our heads until we have rehashed it to the point of ad nauseam.  What two legged rabbit are you allowing to lure you away from what is important, what is true, what is relevant to today?  Don't be stuck chasing rabbits of the past---stay in today.  Learn from the past, but do not allow yourself to be stuck chasing those thoughts which are allusive attempts at changing the unchangeable past.  Leave the past in the past.  Stay in the present and off the rabbit trails.

"Brothers and Sisters, 

I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.

But one thing I do:

Forgetting what is behind,

and straining toward what is ahead,"

Philippians 3:13

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THE LAST PIECE OF THE PUZZLE

While in Ruston, I sat and talked with a dear friend--one on one--following a group conversation of how forgiveness looks.  We were building off the blog written here explaining my struggle with man's concept of what forgiveness looks like.  He pulled me aside and shared his own struggle and what he is learning.  Another piece of the puzzle was pushed neatly into place.  I am certain God orchestrated this conversation--once again teaching me.

As we sat ---and rocked---in the deep stillness of the night---we agreed on every necessary step in giving and receiving forgiveness.  We shared our journeys and what God was teaching us.  As we peer through the lens of our personal pain, the reflection of the image of grace begins  to draw into focus the beauty of what Jesus did for us.  Our sin and man's sin against us teaches God's forgiveness and the absolute wonder of it all.

He shared the beautiful picture of admitting  his sin, and acknowledging it to God and those who had been harmed naming his offense and asking their forgiveness.  He then completed the necessary step of turning from that sin as God has instructed.  He thought this final step of repentance should have freed him and allowed him to forget---but still the remembrance nagged him. 

A trusted counselor shared with him--perhaps the final, but certainly a needed step--We must forgive ourselves.  God forgives us and yet we are unable to forgive ourselves.  As I posted that day, God is much more lenient with us than we are on ourselves.  Turning this over and over in my thoughts, the question arose----If we do not forgive ourselves after God has forgiven us, are we discounting the grace Jesus lavished upon us?  Are we denying the great price paid for us to walk in freedom?  Are we saying--what He did was not enough?  Another necessary step to complete the image of what forgiveness looks like.

DEEP PONDERING IN THE DEEP OF THE NIGHT-

"Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord,"

Acts 3:19

I FORGOT

My heart has no malice and declares forgiveness

but the world has told me that if you have forgiven
then you will forget---I have been struggling with that--
The scripture tell us that He has removed our sin
as far as the east from the west and He remembers our sin no more.

God views us through grace 

and the stain of our sin is taken away

Why then am I not able to forget?

I have a mind---and it is impossible to erase any one thing from it 

with my efforts.  

I found no problem in forgetting where I put something,

what you name is,

to pay the light bill,

a multitude of mundane daily things---I forget daily

We do not forget--the birth of our children

the loss of a loved one

our great adventures

or any other profound moment in our life---good or bad

This week---while searching for answers---I read an explanation

I can embrace

"What does it mean that God remembers their sin no more? It means that God chooses not to interact with us based upon what we’ve done, but instead interact with us based upon what Christ has done." (excerpt from here)

God is omnipotent---he knows everything---including our sin---but he looks at us through the lens of grace.

So it is with that same lens that I peer while gazing.

"I--yes, I alone--will blot out your sins for my own sake and will never think of them again."

Isaiah 43:25

TURN THE OTHER CHEEK

The two oldest grands here in Fort Worth are 4 1/2 and 3.  The action has intensified around here in recent weeks.  It came with the youngest learning the art of retaliation.  If the oldest provokes the youngest, it often now results in the youngest coming out swinging.  Where did he learn that? Previously he would collapse in a heap sobbing, things have changed!  I am talking about hands curled in fists and swinging.  Thankfully he is not old enough to understand how to really hit hard, but the oldest dissolves into tears when he is counter-attacked.  It seems fine that he has hit brother or taken his toy away--or whatever, but when little brother comes out swinging, I think he is more shocked than anything else.

I spoke with a dear Sister recently about her desire to retaliate toward one that has deeply hurt her chick.  If you want to see a MAD chicken, just let someone/something attack her chick.  BEWARE of MAD CHICKENS!  We talked through just what I wrote about in the book, we are NOT the judge.  Every human instinct wants to protect our dear ones--and we do not want to see them suffering and in pain-we want to do our own brand of counter-attack toward the pain-giver. I had to do a LOT of talking to help her understand what would NOT be accomplished by an attack.  More harm than good as the old saying goes.  I must admit, I am MUCH more prone to lose it when my chicks are attacked---difficult to step away!

We ALL suffer attacks of some shape or form at some point in our lives.  God tells us to turn the other cheek.  Most of the time I am shocked--just like brother--when someone attacks me.  Left with a questioning heart as to what I have done to provoke the attack?  The next instinct is to counter-attack--that would lead to a spitting war.  NO ONE ever wins a spitting war---both sides come out with spit all over them.  I learned a LONG time ago to back away and take a deep breath--then measure my words if I respond.  A word said is a word played and they cannot be taken back.  The harm has been done and you may be forgiven--but the destruction may be permanent. 

The Word tells us "Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favoritism."  God is a just and righteous judge and He can be trusted.  The problem arises with our lack of trust that He will do just what He has promised.  Our need for control surfaces its ugly head once again. God love us ALL--the attacker and counter-attacker.  Back up---and step away--far away--and have faith that God is your strong protector.  Turn the other cheek-trusting His word and purpose will be for your good and His glory-- and always remember if you are in His will--He is using you for His good glory through it all.

BECAUSE I am thankful for the blessing of family,
I cooked dinner for the Fort Wort Family
And surprised them--out of the blue. MY PLAN
Today-He chose to not use me in HIS PLAN--to my knowledge.

“But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either."

Luke 6:27-29