User reviews

As far as direct-to-video sci-fi, it hardly gets worse than Absolon, and that's saying a whole lot. As with about 97.9% of the people who have seen this movie, I rented it because Christopher Lambert was in it. This movie was bad even by Christopher Lambert direct-to-video standards. The plot is a ludicrous story of viruses and big business in the "future". This future doesn't look very futuristic, but this is explained away in the prologue by telling the viewer that because so many people died in a plague, the world's population has enough goods to last another 100 years. I guess that's why everyone drives 2001 Tauruses and Explorers then, not budget constraints, right? Lambert comes out OK here, as he once again rises above his awful material to give what is at the very least an acceptable performance. Other than that, watch out. Lou Diamond Phillips hams it up like never before, and even Ron Perlman is stunningly awful in his small role (I guarantee he wasn't on set for more than a day or two, as his character never leaves his desk, and about halfway through the movie he stops interacting in person with the other characters, instead using video conferencing). Additionally, I'm pretty sure that in this future, anyone can be a cop, because one of Lambert's fellow cops looks like she is about 10 minutes removed from a Ramones show (with dark red streaks in her jet-black hair) and another appears to be wearing some sort of Indiana Jones Halloween costume (fedora included). Kelly Brook is gorgeous as Lambert's love interest, although her acting talent is limited as is her willingness to do nude scenes apparently. I've never felt so teased by a female character's lack of nudity in my life.

The direction is awful, I'm sure half of the people that read this, if not more, could make a better movie. Barto uses some of the most ridiculous editing techniques I've ever seen, including an incredibly obnoxious fast-forward/slo-mo combination that hurts my eyes every time it comes on screen. Even worse than the direction is the music. It's one thing to have the John Carpenter-esquire simplistic synth score, it's quite another to try to make it sound complex. The score was obviously recorded entirely on a synthesizer on "Strings" setting to emulate an orchestra, and the effect is hilarious, giving every second of music in the film a Casio Keyboard quality. This is not the only problem with the sound, however, as I swear there was one point in a chase sequence when Brook moved her mouth as if speaking and no speech accompanied it.

One of the worst movies I've ever seen, and maybe THE worst, but I'm giving it 3/10 because it is unintentionally funny to the point of actually being watchable all the way through, if only to wait for the next misstep.

The biggest mystery about ABSOLON is how the filmmakers managed to get 33 people to register and then give the film a perfect "10" score. It's ridiculous, of course, and I'm willing to bet even star Christopher Lambert would agree.

ABSOLON is yet another low-budget film with minimal resources, and yet it seems unaware of this fact since the movie is set "sometime in the near future". I.e. Things are just similar enough that the filmmakers can get by, but there are differences such as a VR and an artificial intelligence computer that lets us know it's "the future". Of course the VR only shows up in the first 3 minutes, and the artificial intelligence computer is basically a woman talking through a speaker.

ABSOLON is not an awful movie, but it is a bad movie. It's basically a string of cliches and "Evil Corporation" formulas thrown into scenes of Lambert dodging assassins led by a cheesy Lou Diamond Phillips, now trying to make himself the King of Low-Budget Cheesy Villains.

Skip this film.

3 out of 10.

OK - seen this one this afternoon with my girlfriend. As usual, Brad Mirman delivers an interesting Cyberpunk-like script (even if some plot- holes are "intriguing" - to say the least), as usual, Christopher Lambert is the only one in the cast to be a little bit involved. The photo is okay too and the score has its moments (even if the "Absolon Theme" by Howie B. is almost without interest). Some good FX (very few in fact).

But for his directional debut, David Barto overused already outdated effects (slow/fast effects in the editing for example), made some serious continuity mistakes (the car chase in the 2/3 of the movie for example) and directed it like a poor TV-movie. That's it : Absolon is no more than a (very cheap at times) TV-film : the female cast is terrible - even if enjoyable to see, Lou Diamond Philips looks like he's not really enjoying his part (he needs a new agent) and overplays it, Ron Perlman plays it simply bored (i'm sure he was on the set one day only : he always stays at the same place). Some secondary characters are far more better (dialogues, characterization), that is counter-balancing a little bit but not enough to save the film from oblivion.

I'm very sorry to type this but some things are definitely missing here : a cast, a budget (twice would have been enough i think - how much it cost : no more than 5M$ i'd say), some more concerned "stars" (with the exception of Lambert), a good editor and finally a director with some idea and motivation.

In the future, all money has been obliterated in exchange for a chronic medicine which treats (but doesn't cure) a universal plague that everyone suffers from. However when an actual cure for the plague is produced, the government wants to kill the scientist due to the shock it would have on the economy, Christopher Lambert, Lou Diamond Phillips and Ron Perlman are aboard to make this more watchable than it would be. Absolon is a straight to video movie (Obviously) which I watched on the Sci-Fi channel, for some reason I have an uncanny ability to seek out the STV movies independent from them and some how avoid their made for Sci-Fi movies, consider it luck I guess. However this being said Absolon is a competently made B.movie but it is also clichéd, unexciting and dreary. Lambert is actually not too shabby and there are moments when you suspect that the movie is going to open up and get really interesting but alas it never does. It always comes close to a boil but it loses steam due to an uninspired gunfight or something gratuitous to it's plot. Had Absolon concentrated on it's futuristic dwellings this would have been good, however because it lacks atmosphere the movie feels ordinary and by the numbers. Still fairly watchable in a low expectations kind of way.

* * out of 4-(Fair)

I was very disappointed with this movie. I had read about it when it was in production in the mag Indie Wire and I was excited to see Christopher Lambert making a sort of comeback. But there will be no coming back from this one. The script is ridiculous, the dialogue is trite, the acting is amateur, and the directing is boring. This movie takes itself a little too seriously - the melodramatic music doesn't help. It was a big bummer.

Kelly Brook may have lost her one chance at an acting career by signing on to do this lackluster film. To be fair, her acting wasn't Oscar worthy either. The story definitely had potential but it just didn't live up to its expectations. As for the director, I have looked for previous work from him, and I haven't found anything. There is no record of him anywhere or of his "short films," as he claims in his biography. Regardless, the film was a bloody disaster.

This movie was pretty bad. It was really cheesey and painful to watch. Brad Mirman should never be allowed to pen another film and David Barto should go back to storyboarding. As for Christopher Lambert, he obviously needs the money, and Kelly Brook does a better job of being a professional socialite. Who would ever believe that these 2 are out to save the world? The mood of the film doesn't match the directing and the soundtrack is too dramatic for what this movie really is - which is a really bad made for TV movie.

I've watched the movie, I've read the comments posted on IMDB, and I'll bet anyone one million dollars that the "good, positive" reviews were written by the director himself, or the writer, or the actors. Anyone with a right mind who has seen this movie cannot seriously walk away thinking this was a good movie. Please. Get a life, this movie is a bomb - a NUCLEAR bomb.

With a plot that's lifted a great deal from The Omega Man, Absolon is a decent science fiction film about a post apocalyptic world where our lack of concern for the environment has nearly wiped the world out with a virus.

Said virus was said to be lurking beneath the Amazon rain forest which we completely wiped out and it in turn did a job of humankind. Those that survive depend for their survival on a drug called Absolon. Like AZT with AIDs, the drug inhibits the virus, but affects no cure.

One thing that this crisis has caused is a collapse of all governments in the world. We've finally achieved one world because there aren't enough of us to worry about racial or religious or language differences. What is now society is just haves and have nots, haves being defined as those who have access to as much Absolon as the need.

Local cop Christopher Lambert is put on a case involving the killing of a scientist who was on the track of a cure, The world police is also interested, but when Lambert starts asking too many questions especially after the case appears solved, they get nervous. Real nervous because their head cop, Lou Diamond Phillips tries to kill Lambert and he's on the run with scientist Kelly Brook.

The film moves along at a nice pace and quite frankly I'm surprised no one has seen the parallels in this film with the current AIDS crisis. There is another good performance in this by Ron Perlman, better known now as Hellboy, who is the industrialist controlling the supply of Absolon. He is one evil dude.

It's not a great film, but I don't think Absolon quite warranted the trashing it got from some reviewers.

Kelly Brook has officially brought shame to all Brits by signing on to do this dreadful film. So much talent wasted on such a piece of crap. If you have no sense of logic and you choose to believe this ridiculous story, and then you can get past the dreadful set decor (which in no way reflects "the near future"), then you must deal with the acting and the directing. Both very amateur and lackluster in performance. This reminds me of a film I made once - when I was 12. 1 out of 10.

You don´t have to ask too much from a low budget movie like this. It is what it is, as the oracle would say, and there are some interesting and funny moments on it. The script is not great, that´s true but i liked the directing and most of the cast. What was the budget in this flick? 3, 4 million... not enough for this kind of story with gunfire, carchases... The first half of the movie works, then... well the script is not that great.The director was an storyborad artist and a designer before -I saw Sussus, his animated short film,and I loved it- like many other filmmakers like James Cameron... and I´m not saying this guy could be him but anybody out there remembers Piranha 2? I like to see what this director can do with a bigger budget and a better script. And seriously, it does not matter if the director is british, chinese of spanish... the script is the script. I didn´t like the soundtrack too much but it wasn´t that bad. Ron perlman is brilliant and Kelly Brook, gorgeous. Lou Diamond Phillips is very funny. I like it.

It's worth viewing just to watch younger Kelly Brook. She has a major role as the research Scientist helping the rouge cop try to bring down the big pharma created drug addition. Enjoy.

Am I the only one that thought this movie was a bad B movie? It's a shame that with such a unique and recognizable cast this movie terribly fails to deliver. It's boring, cheesey, and extremely cliche. Lambert is resorting to his "the Sicilian" days when he took himself a little too seriously. And the directing does not match the action. It looked weird.

I watched this movie mainly because of the actors that were in it, namely Lambert, Perlman, Philips. The plot is not entirely original (which ones are?) but interesting in detail and certainly good enough to support a good movie. Had the budget been bigger, this move could have been so much more. Fight sequences are the worst part - silly and unbelievable. If you removed most of them the movie would be much better. The cast are mostly good actors but the script and other aspects of the movie let them down - they mostly do the best they can with what they have been given. Lou Diamond Philips would have had more impact if he had toned down his performance - its too over the top. I tend to blame the script/director for this rather than the actor. He certainly has the looks and talent to play a great bad guy - but hes not great here. Of the three name actors he comes out worse. (If you want to see what he can really do Courage Under Fire.) Perlman does well in his rather limited role. Lambert is OK some of the time, but rather wooden the rest. Brook is great too look at and sort of OK but the script gives her no opportunity to stretch herself. I liked the actress who plays the Scotts partner - an interesting performance. She looks great too. I hope to see her more often (I resisted the temptation to say "see more of her" - it could be misconstrued). In many ways a bad movie but it has some unexpected good points that kept me watching despite the lows. One commenter on this forum says watching this movie is a waste of time. Perhaps, but then really watching any movie is strictly speaking a waste of time. This is especially so today, when hardly any modern movies have anything but laughable plots. There are many worse ways to waste your time than this movie.

This movie was really stupid, the story was stupid. It was a sort of ripoff of the science fiction type of movies like Terminator. And who in the world gave this movie a "10"? For sure it's the stars of the movie, because this movie is bad from the first frame to the second frame. Don't watch it, it's awful. And the director sucks too because he didn't even try to make the movie look like it was "sometime in the future". It looks like he looked for the ugliest alley's and that's it. No creative bone in this one. 1 out of 10.

Some words of advice: do not waste 90 minutes of your life on this film, you will not be able to get them back. This movie is a lame excuse of a film - the lighting, the directing, the acting, oh my goodness -the acting - are all unbearable. The story plot is unbelievable but even more so is Lambert's attempt of carrying this film as the 'hero' who is out to save the world from a deadly viral outbreak. No wonder it's gone straight to video - I wouldn't even pay for a matinee. Big thumbs down.

Oh, mighty lord of Hollywood films, why was this film made? Such a bad acting and story (that has many logical mistake)! I mean seriously, that the best thing in this film was Kelly Brook, she was beautiful as always, but this is the one and only reason why this film is valuable for watching. This is a typical LCT (Low Cost Technology) film. Why are such films made, against boring, or...?

The character of Walters was comic, I'am not an actor, but I'am quite sure, that even I could play this role better. Did he learn acting, or... what has he searched here? I'am sad being watched this film, it wasn't worth enough.

Whatever happened to Lou Diamond Phillips? "La Bamba" shot him to super stardom and then his career went downhill after that...and this movie is probably his biggest bomb yet. If Lou's agent is reading this, why did you let him make this film? Does he need the money that bad? I won't even talk about Christopher Lambert....Absolon is one of those movies you watch with a bunch of friends while chewing on some corn, and have a party just making fun of it. It's pretty boring and dumb, so I recommend muting the sound and popping in a music CD- maybe 50 Cent- and make it a social gathering while trashing the movie. And how did the director get this gig? Does being a storyboarder give you cred to direct? This unknown director made a potentially "bad-in-a-good-way" B movie into a really bad unwatchable B movie. And the writing - that takes the big piece of Brie.

A funny movie with a few dark moments for what it is. Weak story line with two of my favorite "b" stars. A lot of the acting in this movie wasn't very good, considering that Lou Diamond Phillips is not in his best moment, but the performances from Ron Perlman, and Kelly Brook were good. Christopher Lambert uses all his classic and wasted tricks. What this movie does have is some solid atmosphere and some very interesting moments for a low budget film. If you like comic books and sci fi in your movies, then this one is good. This may not be The Matrix or Terminator, but it's certainly fun. The film is basically elements of various other comic book movies and it works fine with the accomplished direction from David Barto. I personally think this film lacks originality, borrowing from classic sci fi/ action movies but still enjoyable for sci fi/ action fans. 3/5

This has got to be at the top for all-time worst movies. What a pathetic attempt by a bunch of no-talents. There is nothing good to say about this movie. The acting, script, editing, filming and even the score was laughable. Kelly Brooks should stick to modeling or whatever else she can do that doesn't require her to open her mouth. I was disappointed in Lambert as he is usually believable in his roles. I honestly think the no-talents around him and bad script brought him to an all-time low. Topaz Hasfal should give up acting altogether as there isn't an ounce of acting talent or believability in her - who cast her in that role? Didn't she used to be in the 20 Minute Workout (as Sharon Hasfal) from the mid 80's? It's true -- you get what you pay for, and with the low budget for this film, you definitely get a LOW-budget film. My suggestion -- skip the movie, spend your time in a more productive way, like peeling the skin off grapes or something.

it's too bad the dialogue was so laughable because the subject matter is no "conspiracy theory from Pluto". i'd like to see what the director can do with a bigger budget on the same topic. i think we Need movies like this that tell it like it mostly and astonishingly is. with Christopher Lambert i sometimes have to shake my head to remember that he is classically trained. well, at least he's working. Lou Diamond Philips seldom takes himself too seriously and i liked him in this movie. and Kelly Brook! beautiful woman. Hellboy is a favorite of mine too and it's nice to see him with his real face. i suspect most people wont like this film, but i did. except for the dumb dialogue.

Absolon has joined the ranks of the many movies that should not have been made but somehow made it out of the dark, pits of Hollywood's basement of tossed scripts. Wow, what a piece of crap. Why do somewhat talented actors attach themselves to an apparently horrible script? And why do somewhat known actors agree to work with a director who has no track record of doing anything at all, or anything good? How does this happen? Executives shouldn't complain about the movie industry doing horribly because what they are putting out is just that, horrible.

Exactly that, this film had potential to be good. Alas it sucked. Kelly Brook may be hot but her acting is luke warm. And why is it that lamberts voice never changes, totally mono.

Avoid the film unless youre planing on re-making it, becuase it has a good enough Sci-Fi story line to work with.