The Sisterhood

With a hundred films under his belt, I doubt very much that The Sisterhood is the worst film directed by Filipino hack Cirio H. Santiago, but it can't be far off. Part sword and sorcery flick, and part Mad Max rip-off, but ALL awful, the film takes place in a post-apocalyptic future (the far-flung year of 2021) where warlords rule the three kingdoms, and a band of women, The Sisterhood, roam the outlands in an attempt to restore peace and equality.

Bond girl Lynn-Holly Johnson plays 18-year-old Marya, who joins female freedom-fighters Alee (Rebecca Holden) and Vera (Barbara Patrick) on their quest to rescue their sisters, who have been imprisoned by Lord Kragg (Kenneth Peerless) in Calcara. On their journey, Marya learns more about her special gift - her ability to talk to hawk Lady Shri - and, being a quick learner, picks up some nifty fight moves, handy for when she finally comes face to face with Mikal (Chuck Wagner), the warrior who killed her brother.

After Vera is abducted by Mikal and his men, and taken to Calcara, Alee and Marya narrowly escape being killed by mutants (men in rags with mud on their faces), stumble upon a cave full of automatic weapons and an armoured vehicle, and proceed to lay waste to the enemy despite no prior knowledge of firearms and zero experience behind the wheel.

Packed full of badly choreographed fight scenes, dreadful dialogue and tepid escapades for our heroines, The Sisterhood might have been a lot of cheesy fun if only the direction wasn't so uninspired and the budget clearly lacking. Sadly, the whole thing looks and feels extremely cheap, from the really naff Mad Max reject vehicles, to the crappy costumes and props, to the awful music, which sounds like a drunk is bashing random keys on a Bontempi organ.

The fun stuff: a modicum of gore (a couple of sword slashings and a severed hand), a reasonable amount of topless nudity (I counted nine breasts), and one of the chicks can fire lasers from her eyes. The rest of the film is dull grade-Z trash.

2.5/10, rounded up to 3 for IMDb (although it doesn't deserve to be).