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Jessica's Reviews > Bleak House

Bleak House by Charles Dickens
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really liked it
bookshelves: crazy-ladies, social-work-or-relevant

Shivering in unheated gaslit quarters (Mrs. Winklebottom, my plump and inquisitive landlady, treats the heat as very dear, and my radiator, which clanks and hisses like the chained ghost of a boa constrictor when it is active, had not yet commenced this stern and snowy morning), I threw down the volume I had been endeavoring to study; certainly I am not clever, neither am I intrepid nor duly digligent, as after several pages I found the cramped and tiny print an intolerable strain on my strabismic eyes. Straightening my bonnet, I passed outdoors into the frigid, sooty streets, where shoppers bustled by in a frenzy, now rushing into the 99-cent store, bedecked with PVC Santa Claus banners, now into Nelson's Xmas Shoppe, in search of glistening ornaments. Bowing my head perversely against busy crowds and fierce wind, I stepped into a subway, which conveyed me to a winding street down which I hurried until I reached a peculiar establishment, the shingle for which had been battered by the strain of city winters, by pollution, and no doubt by the small mischievious hands of vandals, who had modified the sign with their colorful signatures and illustrations, but upon which could still be read - with some effort - Amperthump & Hagglestern, Booksellers.

I entered to a sound of tinkling bells affixed to the heavy door, the hinges of which creaked as I propelled myself through its narrow passage. Proceeding forward, I heard a sullen voice squeak, "Check yer bag, miss?" and glanced up to see an urchin, nearly lost amidst piles of remaindered volumes, beckoning with one grubby hand while clutching a wrinkled comic in the other; I refused, smiling gently, and passed into the densely cluttered shop, where I was intercepted by Mr. Amperthump, the proprietor, a gentleman of about three and forty, whose thick-rimmed spectacles and corpulent physique recall two of a tragic trinity of dead singers, who upon seeing me took my cold hands in his ink-stained ones and kissed them. "How can I assist, my dear?" he boomed so loudly that a little one-eyed spaniel started from its slumber, and the urchins shelving books glared up at their master with undisguised annoyance.

Drawing out my small copy of Bleak House, which I had obtained from the Queens Public Library -- supported, to wonderous effect, by the subsciption of tax dollars, and no doubt supplemented by charitable impulses of certain gentleladies -- and endeavored to explain, as simply as I could, that I desired an edition of the same narrative writ larger and in more mercifully legible print. However Mr. Amperthump appeared distressed and could not remain silent long, flinging my book away. "NO!" he cried. "You are too young and pretty" (at this I blushed and tried to protest, for I am not pretty, in fact I am plain) "to be reading this antiquated rot! Here, instead, is the latest experimental fiction from Rajistan D. McGingerloop." At this he placed in my hands a queer volume, unlike any I had seen before. "Throughout his controversial career McGingerloop has exploded one by one conventions of the novel... in this latest work he has done away with pages!" And indeed, when I examined the book I discovered he was quite right, and that the book I held was a brick of paper, and could not be opened, having as he indicated, no pages at all. I thanked Mr. Amperthump for his solicitude, at which point he pressed that I try Petunia al Gonzalez-Mjobebe's story of a love affair between an Iranian transexual and a Chinese android, a meditation, Mr. Amperthump assured me, on globalization and identity, but also, he said, a suspenseful legal thriller in its own right, albeit one subverting the conventions of that genre - quite, he added, subversively. Finally I was given to understand that in addition to Mr. Amperthump's conviction that I should not be reading Dickens, he had none in stock, and finally I gave my thanks for all his kindness and passed out again into the filthy snow and gloom.
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Reading Progress

November 23, 2007 – Shelved
December 4, 2007 – Shelved as: crazy-ladies
December 4, 2007 – Shelved as: social-work-or-relevant
Started Reading
January 1, 2008 – Finished Reading

Comments Showing 1-36 of 36 (36 new)

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message 1: by Jessica (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:05PM) (new) - rated it 4 stars

Jessica (Be sure to obtain the next installment of my modest serial, in which I visit the optometrists Stalincrunk & Flushingspoon.)


message 2: by matthew (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:06PM) (new)

matthew are your eyes really that bad?


message 3: by Monica (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:06PM) (new)

Monica Go girl. Give Paul a run for his money.


message 4: by Monica (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:07PM) (new)

Monica What are c havs?


message 5: by Paul (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:07PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Paul Bryant Spotting the female chav # 4 : The Pram Face.

"Pram Face :
The facial expression popularised by Victoria Beckham who thought that not smiling made you look classy. However on the face of the average chavette, this ‘not-much-going-on-upstairs’ pout can make the individual look anything from disinterested to retarded to scowling… usually the former. Eventually this expression becomes fixed on the chavette's face. This usually happens when they end up pushing a pram around the town centre after ‘Wayne’ assured her it was fine to have unprotected sex behind kebab shop and she wouldn’t end up spawning yet another one of his bastard offspring."

[http://www.chavscum.com/chav_spotting...]


message 6: by Jessica (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:08PM) (new) - rated it 4 stars

Jessica I only wonder what old CD would make of all this....


message 7: by matthew (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:08PM) (new)

matthew chavs are not unlike some of the more grotesque characters in dickens, really.


message 8: by Monica (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:08PM) (new)

Monica I can't just write yup. But there it is, yup!


message 9: by Paul (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:08PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Paul Bryant Note on the British working class : when they were conscripted into the army and dragooned off to die in their thousands during the First World War, they were found, on average, to be six inches shorter than the officer class. In the 90 subsequent years, they've caught up. Must be something good in those kebabs.


message 10: by Jessica (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:13PM) (new) - rated it 4 stars

Jessica While I think this whole conversation is pretty awful for obvious reasons, my trip to the department store yesterday has confirmed the existence of chavs. They're here full force in New York City, and they're noisily buying boots at Century 21. I really don't know why they still insist on sporting Burberry scarves when the exchange rate on their pounds would allow them buy everything in the store for a few of Dickens's shillings.... The whole thing's very mysterious, but in any case, there they are.

I also have a note on this book, for anyone else who's planning to read it, which is that you should not get busy with other things and put it aside for a week. For me, anyway (I have a bad memory), this was a problem because after a few days I'd forgotten and mixed up several of the thousands of second third-tier characters, and it was confusing trying to reintegrate myself into this world. I think I'm okay now, but I'm going to try not to let this happen again.


Jessica Made controversial decision to dock a star for minor infraction of taking 300+ pages really to engage me. But the last 500 pages paid off that debt big-time! All the heavy lifting is at the beginning, when you're getting acquainted with the 12,000 cartoony, tiresome, uninteresting characters, but as soon as he's got all his little gears in position and pulls the lever.... man! The plot clicks and whirs into wondrous perpetual motion, and the rest is just an incredible delight from there on out (and by delight I mean, joy mixed with bitter tears, since of course my heart was moved and I wept -- O but I could not help it! -- many a time, as I beheld the pages of my beloved Book).

There has to be an animated miniseries made of this. HAS to be. HAS.TO. BE! Amazing. My first Dickens! I don't think I would've ever picked this up if it hadn't been for Bookface, and I'm even less sure I would've made it through around pp 175-300 without having made a public declaration, so.... thanks Bookface! Thanks, Booksters! Totally fun read. Totally worth ruining my eyesight for, I hope.

Koeeoaddi! You may now set them free, though they'll probably die in the harsh winter air; in truth, it is most fitting that those tender hearts be frozen in their tiny feathered chests. At least it will match the theme of my Bookface picture, as well as echoing tragic events from the novel itself.


Manny
Best review I've come across on GoodReads, out of at least a few hundred. In fact, totally brilliant by any standards! You should try and publish this stuff for a wider audience :)


message 13: by Brad (new)

Brad Manny dragged me over to read this amazing review and I am so glad I did. "'Throughout his controversial career McGingerloop has exploded one by one conventions of the novel... in this latest work he has done away with pages!'" How brilliant is that? You make me want to read Dickens again, Jessica, and that is a labour that I thought only Heracles could perform.


message 14: by David (new)

David Jessica is teh awesome.


message 15: by Eric_W (last edited Apr 17, 2009 05:20PM) (new)

Eric_W David wrote: "Jessica is teh awesome."

I might have phrased it a little differently, but awesome is appropriate. :) Some very talented people on this site. I sure hoped you don't mind, but I copy these and email them to members of my book club (with attribution, of course.)


message 16: by C. (new)

C. Yes, this review is absolutely extraordinary.


message 17: by Sandi (new)

Sandi I wish I could write creative reviews like this one.


message 18: by Lisa (new) - added it

Lisa Vegan I voted for both your review and your subsequent notes in this thread. I hope you're writing your own book.


Robin I did not know there was a Bleak House thread, I tried reading the book, after I liked the 5 DVD film, it was very episodic, the DVD, I had to remember who Dickens was referring to and what I viewed on the DVD, I gave up reading the book.


Mariel Thanks for the smile. I like Dickens all the better when I can tease him.


message 21: by Krok Zero (new)

Krok Zero ownage


message 22: by Mark (new) - rated it 5 stars

Mark I have read through this stream of consciousness, assming that you all were couscious, and could not put it down until the very end.
I started reading Bleak House, not because I knew anything about it, but because I had found it on someone's Megalit reading list and
subsequently found it available on some shelf for purchase. Much later, I discovered it once again, upon my own shelf, and elected to give it a trial.
While I was wandering about in the muck of London, I thought to throw it aside, but found myself drawn back though it greatly tried my patience. Though it never became irresistable until the snowy search, I found satisfaction in the final resolution, mourning for My Lady


message 23: by Jean-marcel (new)

Jean-marcel haha, that was an excellent Dickens tribute, right there!

And McGingerloop! Too good!

But I still have not read Bleak House. I started it once. I generally do like DIckens and his writing; I should probably persevere with this tome.


message 24: by Len (new) - rated it 5 stars

Len For any who feel this book is too much of a slog to read, get a copy of the audio book by Audible. The narrators made this book come alive!


Maria Puig Jessica, you're hilarious


message 26: by Liz (new) - rated it 5 stars

Liz Love it! Both your review and the book. Luckily I'm reading on a kindle and can enlarge the text. I'm about two thirds of the way through...


Vivienne LOL!!


message 28: by Shamim (new)

Shamim E. Haque Really enjoyed every line of this commentary that you have treated us to! You made New York (through this paragraph of yours )decidedly Victorian; and that bookstore you visited ought to have been full of quaint charms- and lovely hidebound tomes (including Dickens) from the early 20th and 19th centuries. Alas it didn't! My sincere thanks to you from Dhaka, Bangladesh! This was a good read indeed!


message 29: by Jennifer (new)

Jennifer ah yes, the chained ghost of a board constrictor. happens in my house every winter


Dayle Love this review...almost glad I read Bleak House!


message 31: by Lyn (new) - rated it 3 stars

Lyn Wow I love your writing style!


Keise Seg I have to admit that I i enjoyed this comment very much. Boodle, Coodle, and Doodle would be proud


message 33: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Lawrence Brilliant. You’ve aced it - and saved me the bleak aspects of Dickens.


Amber This might be one of the best comments I've ever read, I wish I could give IT a rating!


Reece Hilarious! Describes the book perfectly xd


message 36: by Barbara (new) - added it

Barbara Monk That's so cute! But I'd still like to read the book!


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