Claire ✨'s Reviews > The Confectioner's Guild

Though THE CONFECTIONER'S GUILD brings some sweet ideas with a mystery to whet your appetite, it sours with cliché, clumsy and often obnoxious attempts to create drama and the complete 180 of priorities when the two stereotypical and underbaked love interests are introduced.

DNF at 24%.

I read this on public transport and the amount of times I rolled my eyes must have been a cause for concern for other passengers.

What drew me to THE CONFECTIONER'S GUILD is the mystery mixed with quirky baking antics. For the most part, this novel opens well, introducing a fairly standard and somewhat generic protagonist Wren, with auburn curls, as the orphan-turned-baking prodigy apprentice of her master with a magical gift that thrusts her into the world of the Confectioner's Guild. Add a murder by poison, and I'm intrigued.

... And then love interest 1 was introduced. The Douchebag. Wren, sixteen years old with auburn curls, goes absolutely gaga for him. Forget that they've just met, forget that she's only trial for murder, forget that he's one of those assholes who negs a girl when he likes her... this bloke is super hot! He has bronze abs! When he teases her it's so annoying but also sexy! He his gorgeous long golden locks and a sharp jawline! He's godlike! It doesn't stop. She has just met this guy, and already she slobbers over him like a puppy over a bowl of kibble.

Also Wren, the girl with auburn hair, utters this line: "No doubt [the Douchebag] had sampled choicer morsels than she". Just... what the frack?



THEN we get love interest number 2, the Inspector. He's stoic, dark, but gentle and helpful and four (?) years her senior. The age gap is iffy at best, gross at worst, and Wren also fawns over his lavish locks and his chiselled jaw that she "suddenly wanted to run her fingers over"... because that makes sense. This person is also the inspector helping her murder case, btw, if there wasn't anything else to add to the frustrated cringe of the budding romance already. Isn't that illegal? She even hugs him and they share a moment... because of course (keep in mind it's not even a quarter of the way through yet...).

The Douchebag and the Inspector even have a hostile meet-up and get their nuts in a twist of jealousy, Inspector getting overprotective over Wren and the Douchebag riling the Inspector over it. The Inspector warns Wren off the Douchebag because "he's just that type of guy and you don't want to be with him".



Utterly infuriating.

My hunch is that the Douchebag is the real murderer, but Wren is going to fall for his charms, realise it too late, then come crawling back to the Inspector. Obviously this whole love chevron is done just so we can splooge over these two handsome men that are hot for this self-insert for me— er, I mean, vanilla protagonist that is totally not meant to be a reader stand-in. Hah.

Auburn-haired Wren also laments that people have called her "skinny thing" as if this is supposed to be unflattering. She's thin but hates being called thin! Woe is her! (Note: she specifically uses the phrase 'skinny thing', rather than something that does actually have cause for concern, such as underfed, malnourished, or anorexic.)

Aside from that, you also have the generic Best Friend, Evil Mentor and Bitchy Rival. There's probably more, but then I'd have to read on, and I'd rather not.

Btw, did I mention that Wren has auburn hair? Because it's auburn. In case you didn't know. Auburn.

WILL I READ ON? Frankly, I'd rather drink that poison.

eARC received from Live Edge Publishing via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. This title releases 28th October 2018.

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