Thomas's Reviews > Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life

Society responds to those suffering from physical illnesses, like cancer; we have become more receptive to those fighting certain mental illnesses as well, like depression. But we often turn a blind eye to the scars created by child abuse - we want to believe in the sanctity of family, even when millions of children grow up battered both inside and out. Susan Forward's Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life provides a much-needed guide on how victims of abuse can break free from their pasts and move toward healthful, happy lives.

Forward provides a through breakdown of different types of abuse: verbal, physical, and sexual, and the multifaceted behaviors that comprise them. She offers several examples of abuse victims from her own clinical practice and how they progressed in therapy and recovered. Her voice comes across as nurturing and validating, and she also encourages victims to take the necessary steps to release themselves from the pain their parents created. She touches on several tricky topics with wisdom, such as how to regulate anger, the harmful myth of forgiveness, and how to handle loaded subjects like alcohol and incest.

My main takeaway from reading this book: it is never too late to change. No matter how awful you have felt in the past or how you may have coped in unhealthful ways, you can recover from your parents' abuse and lead a fulfilling, meaningful life. This book serves two, if not more, important functions: it gives voice to those mistreated and then shamed by their parents, and it provides victims with ways to regain trust and autonomy. As someone who has fought with his own family demons, I would recommend this book to anyone with an abusive history or anyone who wants to learn more. I encourage therapy and tons of self-compassion, too.